#try to cultivate online relationships more | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

The Tumblr office adopted Tommy, an 11-year-old Pomeranian.

#try to cultivate online relationships more

hermajestyimher · 1 year

Text

This Is How We Will Own 2023:

We're less than a month away from the New Year, and as such, it is important that we begin to set the foundations and plans we have to not only succeed, but make 2023 a memorable year.

Regardless of how 2022 went for you, regardless of how many goals you were able to achieve, a new year marks a new beginning. Do not beat yourself over how things went, focus on how you can improve them moving forward.

In 2023 we're:

Spending less time being passive scrollers online. The pandemic is over, the world is back in action and so must we. It's time to stop letting our minds be consumed by the opinions of thousands of people on the internet. More often than not, the things we read online come from the psyche of mentally unwell individuals, and given social media's tendency to prompt out the voices of the most unhinged, it gives people that shouldn't have a platform a false sense of authority. In 2023 we're getting off the grid as much as we can and reconnecting with the real world. We will not allow this online façade to swallow us into its void any longer.

Spending more time learning and engaging in high-end activities and hobbies that can elevate our social circle and our taste. Things like polo matches, pilates, ballet, opera, piano classes, poetry, political forums, martial arts, and high-intensity sports, among other things. It is crucial to cultivate a persona that engages in a variety of fulfilling activities that can bring us joy but also help us grow as individuals.

Prioritizing our health and fitness. No more excuses, it's time to cut down on added sugar and refined carbs, time to eat more nutrient-dense whole foods, drink plenty of water daily, invest in vitamin injections every other month, take supplements to improve our body's collagen production, and overcome feelings of laziness by pushing ourselves through fitness goals. 2023 we will make of the gym our sanctuary.

Living below our budget and investing as much as we can. If you haven't already, get a financial advisor, develop long and short-term financial goals and get organized with your income. It doesn't matter if in the past you've felt like your financial habits have not been the most adequate, it's never too late to take control of them and be responsible. We owe to ourselves to spend wisely to have the peace of mind financial security brings. Never go broke trying to impress others.

We're no longer entertaining inadequate men. I must admit I'm guilty of this myself. After years of not dating, getting back into the dating scene has felt extremely disappointing and tiring. Most prospects are simply not up to par with the standards I have and what I want out of my life partner. Sometimes we allow ourselves to become desperate to build these types of romantic relationships that we begin to overlook the things that we really want deep down. In 2023, we're refocusing our attention on living our best lives and being as active as possible in real-life events as touched upon previously, and trust that the right dating prospects will present themselves when we least expect. We attract, we don't chase.

Finally, we're overcoming negative self-talk patterns that hinder our growth. We're investing in therapy, we're unlearning the limiting beliefs that keep us in bondage to people, routines, and views of the world that are not good for us. We have to put an end to the insidious lie of the scarcity mindset, overcome past traumas, and look forward to the good things that are yet to come.

There are many more things I could add to this list, but for now, these are the things I and I know many of you will find helpful on improving on for the year to come. These lists can come out as intimidating to some people, but we have to remember that we are not expected to become the ideal version of ourselves overnight. Growth is a marathon, not a sprint, and it requires consistency. Each day that you wake up and choose to do one or two things differently you're making stride towards that better you. No improvement is ever too little.

Let's make 2023 a memorable year, and every year afterwards.

Daphne.

#2023 planning #blog piece #things ive learned #goal setting #level up journey #levelingup

5K notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 1 year

Text

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Gain Motivation & Get Out of A Rut

Spontaneous motivation is possible but rare. However, learning how to jumpstart this valuable energy to gain the initial momentum you need to create consistent habits and routines necessary to help you achieve your goals. Here are some tips and tricks to get out of a rut and jumpstart motivation.

Create specific goals: Use qualifying and quantifying details (e.g. I intend to stay at the Ritz Paris hotel; I will save $50K by the end of this year, etc.; I'm cultivating a Scandinavian aesthetic; I will eat 3 healthy meals daily during the workweek, etc.)

Organize your goals into different areas of life: Try not to have more than 1-2 goals per life arena at a time (career, finances, health, relationships, self-development, etc.)

Write a short list of 3-5 things you can do to get closer to each of your goals: These can be habits or one-time tasks (e.g. take a walk every day, automate "X" amount of my paycheck into my investment accounts, etc.). Consider this bullet-point list as your high-level action plan. It gives you a roadmap that's simple enough to help you get started without overwhelming your mind with details or complexities. Success is born from simple, consistent habits.

Create a vision board for each goal: Envisioning yourself achieving the goal can spark some initial excitement and motivation. Everything gets clearer when you can see the end in sight.

Write out a "pros" and "cons" list for each goal: Consider the benefits of working towards each goal vs. the downsides. A little fear-based motivation can be healthy as a catalyst to gain some inspiration and momentum.

Get mapping & mathing: Create a mockup of your ideal wardrobe, healthy meals you want to eat, design a mockup of your dream project live on a billboard, all of the places you want to visit in a foreign country, every aspect of your dream date night, etc. Do some quick projections on how much you could be saving with your budgeting goals, and entrepreneurial pursuits, or run the numbers regarding health goals you can work towards (whether it's weight or strength related)

Create a weekly self-accountability goal: Choose one task per goal that you want to accomplish each day (or a few times a week) to get you moving in the direction you desire. Keeping promises to yourself is the simplest way to stay on track.

Track your progress: Make a log of your hours spent reading, working out, check off the days you've had a healthy meal, how many pitch emails you've sent out, any additions or removals from your current wardrobe and environment, etc.

Give yourself a rewarding incentive: Be enough of an adult to use your childlike tendencies to your advantage. Create "if-then" compromises with yourself to ensure you stay on track. E.g: If I make a healthy meal at home for dinner during the week then, I can eat it while watching an episode of my favorite show. If I order-in an unhealthy meal, then I cannot watch my favorite show that night. Savage, I know!

Join supportive online communities & spaces: Find communities on Tumblr, TikTok, Instagram, Reddit, Facebook groups, etc. to find people with similar goals and life outlooks. Read books by authors who have achieved your desired goal, and listen to podcasts on your same wavelength. Find digital ways to cultivate a tribe.

Keep a "Winning" Journal: A notebook that you can write in daily, a few times a week, or weekly to share all of your accomplishments. This method allows you to feel like you can brag and show off a bit, so you get the social validation (even if done in private) while still moving in silence and refraining from appearing arrogant.

480 notes · View notes

queenofcoquette · 8 months

Text

cultivate your online experience

introduction:

hey loves! i saw someone talking about cultivating their online experience in order to benefit their mental health and self improvement. this got me thinking about changes i’ve personally made, and changes we can all make.

impact of content

the content we consume is like mental food. what i mean by this is when you watch certain content, the algorithim will push it to you. so when that content is negative, the more you see it. this can lead to going down pipelines to toxicity and constantly seeing content that isn’t good for you.

on the flipside, being pushed positive content can benefit you. you might be inspired to try new hobbies, to be artistic, and you might see content that inspires you to better yourself. therefore the algorithim will continue to push this positive content towards you.

so in conclusion it’s pretty important to self-monitor and reflect on why you’re indulging in the content you are, and what the effects could have over you.

cultivating your online experience

notice how you feel. the first step is just knowing how you feel. are you happy with how you use the internet? if so then great! keep dong what you’re doing. but if you’re unhappy then it’s a sign that you need to make a change in your lifestyle.

what can you change? the first step is knowing what you can change. are you upset because you’re surrounded by content? are you upset because you have an internet addiction? find the root of the problem.

what do you want to see more of? just think about the positive content you want to see. whether it has to do with creativity, your interests, self improvement, etc.

unsubscribe/unfollow toxic content. go through the accounts you follow, and unfollow the ones that don’t make you feel good.

use the internet in a way that benefits you. you can use the internet for so many things- i use it to write, i’ve had it help me learn how to sew and listen to music. find ways that you can use the internet in a way that benefits you and teaches you new things.

social media detox. a great thing for all of us is just a social media detox. spending more time doing things that are productive and good for us. it gives us a feeling of what other things we can spend our time doing.

balancing your online/offline life. for most of us the internet is a pretty big part of our lives, and we use it for a lot of different things. but it’s important to cultivate a balance in your lifestyle so the internet doesn’t interfere with your health, relationships, etc. get hobbies, spend time outside, remember that the internet isn’t a reflection of real life.

conclusion:

too much of anything is a bad thing, and the internet is undeniably toxic. in order to stay healthy and happy we need to make sure that we cultivate a positive online experience for ourselves, while also taking care of our offline lives.

#that girl #that girl 2023 #self improvement #pink pilates princess #queenofcoquette

153 notes · View notes

nothorses · 11 months

Note

You 100% don't have to answer this, especially if talking about this could harm you. I was just wondering if you had any tips or thoughts about dealing with the trauma of Tumblr abuse campaigns that the people who did the harassing claimed was righteous. They usually start with callout posts. Years later and I am still traumatized, have nightmares, and my disabilities have worsened because of the abuse.

I think the best thing that I did for myself was set a couple of boundaries around exposure to it, at the advise of @vaspider: I decided I wasn't going to look at tags or blogs that I knew I'd find more of those posts in, and I asked people to stop sending me updates as well.

Just removing exposure did a lot for me. I still do have moments where I "break" and go look in my tags, but a) not for at least 6 months, b) I felt I was not going to be impacted the same way, and c) I was and am always wrong, and I stop myself before getting very far because of that.

Block people liberally. Block them for saying shit that hurts you, and block them for being annoying. It's not an act of violence, it's not mean or cruel or whatever; just curate your experience. And don't allow people access to you who intend to do you harm.

Beyond that... take a break. If you have a piece you feel you still need to say, type it up somewhere else, wait a day or two, post it if you still feel you need to, and make that the last time you talk about it.

Focus on, and nurture, real-life hobbies and relationships. Interact with people and things that have no connection to these events. Not because online relationships aren't "real", but because your social life being public is genuinely, inherently unhealthy. You should not have to worry about the worst possible interpretations of everything you do or say all the time; find people who love you and trust you, and spend time with them. Privately. Exist in a space where you feel loved and worth loving; trusted and worth trusting; and where you don't feel the need to apologize for, or defend, everything you do or say.

Most importantly, cultivate a trust in yourself. Trust that you are always trying, and trust that mistakes are just mistakes. Trust that people who trust you will see the best interpretations of your words and actions, even if you realize later how they "might have come off".

Let feelings go, if you can. Letting go of the hurt doesn't mean it never happened, and you never felt that way; you're just allowing yourself to move on, to find peace, and to remove the power they had over you. Living in panic and hurt will only make the panic and the hurt worse.

I'm sorry you're going through this, and I'm sorry it was that bad. You're not alone. You can heal. I wish you all the best 💙

#harassment

276 notes · View notes

punkitt-is-here · 11 months

Note

it's so interesting to me how you respond to asks - like you don't come across as a people pleaser at all, and don't force a laugh when people try to buddy up to you. like i see you respond to asks sometimes where it seems like the anon is trying to say a form of "some of your followers are SOOO weird but i'm nothing like them lol i'm a cool follower who respects you and you should like me more because of that" and every time your response is like "no the weirdos are fine wdym?" and then you move on. idk if this is insightful or nice to hear but i am intending it in a positive way towards you! like you just give the vibes of someone who is unbothered, moisturized, in your lane, flourishing, etc. and it's nice :)

thank u! i can credit Shanon Strucci directly for their video on parasocial relationships hammering into my head early on that being a people pleaser online leads to boundaries being crossed way too easily. that and watching bo burnham in high school. i appreciate having a really good example early in my online career that was basically like "if you try to make sure everyone who doesn't know you is happy bad shit will happen and it is unhealthy for everyone". i also know that, like, this is MY space and people are coming INTO it and i can easily cultivate it. if people don't like what I got going on, they can leave. folks who try to please me by putting down other people aren't folks i really want to be around anyway.

#my posts #asks #anon

186 notes · View notes

natalyarose · 8 days

Text

𝑅𝑒𝒻𝓁𝑒𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝒶𝓇𝓉… (𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜, 𝒮𝓊𝓃 𝒾𝓃 𝐵𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝓃𝒾!)

~ This is a bit of a personal one lol, maybe I'm getting a little too comfy on tumblr- but hey, I like it here and I'm very grateful for everyone who's taken an interest in whatever I have to say :)

~ tagging this on Nakshatra tumblr because I feel like this reflection perfectly encapsulates Venus Nakshatras and is very aligned with the Sun moving into Bharani, the birth of Venus among the Nakshatras

// warning, cringe and angsty lmao

I have such an odd relationship with my artistic process. Unconventional? Stubborn. Sometimes just straight up bad lol.

I want to create beautiful, meaningful things, yet I have this sort of extreme resistance to being perfect or professionalism (however, somehow perfectionism and such a ruthless self-antagonism for not being 'enough' at the same time..).

It's almost like I purposely sabotage my art by intentionally leaving in mistakes, or leaving it somewhat dishevelled in protest of perfection. In hopes that the beauty and artistry still manages to shine through to the right people.

I guess it's also this thing where I feel like the imperfection makes art more unique, more exclusive- more personal & dearly held to the people who do find the beauty in it that I initially wanted to communicate. But, there is a difference between artsy, grungy, rawness and... just being crap, lazy, unrefined, undisciplined. (I'd never refer to someone else's work in this way but myself... mann).

Knowing full well that my artistic creation likely 'needs work', is not a finished product and will very likely be criticised for its' imperfection, I still have the overwhelming urge to go ahead and share it with the world/post it. In all of its' messy (again, maybe just straight up bad lol) glory. Then I wonder why I'm not gaining the traction I want haha. When I inevitably receive criticism, I get so hurt by it, I beat myself up and it eats at me to the point that I can't sleep at night, I'm up reciting the criticisms in my head and weaving them into my very own nightmare!

I don't understand why I do this to myself lmao. Later on after posting & putting myself out there, I hear that imperfection in the song, I hear those vocal parts I stubbornly left in and didn't want to redo, I see the dodgy brush strokes I refused to fix up in the name of authenticity, and I cringe. In fact, I feel such a deep shame for it all that I take everything down out of embarrassment. Even though it was fully my decision to put up something amateur sounding and imperfect.

Maybe it's something like the weight of desire for perfection is too much, so I just go 'to hell with it!'.

It's like an endless cycle for me, and I realise that over the years, if I'd just left things up online and was more patient with myself, I'd probably have cultivated a following of some sort by now, or maybe used peoples' criticisms to improve the art to a greater extent. I mean, there are people who have mentioned to me when they notice the art is imperfect and needs work, but there are just as many lovely people who have gone totally out of their way to express deep appreciation for the music/art I've put out and enjoyed it.

Here's my 'theory' as to why I do this to myself: when I create art, I don't just want to make pretty things, though I want that too. I want to be loved, and FELT. I want to bring people to this raw, vulnerable place in my heart where my ideas emerge from. I want to be loved not in spite of the imperfections, but alongside them, all encompassing.

I don't want to have to be perfect, have $1000 worth of equipment, hours and hours of recording time trying to 'get it right' in order to be understood and deemed beautiful. I don't want to show off how perfect or skilled I am either, I want to make people feel something. I want it natural.

r a w.

I kinda enjoy for art to be unfinished and slightly unpalatable on purpose.

Maybe it's a bit of entitlement on my part, expecting that even if I do a mediocre job, people will still enjoy it and see my 'talents'/message.

Truth be told though, that's how I love other people, how I enjoy others' art as well, it's not just something with me.

When I listen to artists I love, I adore seeing something beautiful, yet somehow messy and jarring. A sort of underground-esque, 'wild feminine' creation. It evokes that much more feeling and passion that something designed to be perfect just lacks to me.

I can't get into a lot of bands that are considered 'objectively good' by many people because they just sound too perfect to me- There's a lot of times I come across artists that sound technically good, very clean but my heart just can't get into it. I find myself listening and thinking 'I wish this was recorded on a toaster', or 'I wish there was a more rough sound to the vocals' lol, I crave the rawness & intimacy that imperfection and roughness lends.

Ugh, it all creates such an internal conflict- like I want my art to be seen, to be loved yet I somewhat reject things it takes for the art to be considered objectively good & well rounded.

The harsh reality might just be that just because I see the beauty in imperfection, just because I know I've got this personal, very niche vision of what 'good' sounds like/looks like in my mind, that doesn't mean other people are going to find value in the same things.

Of course, maybe all of this is just pretentious excuses & my own self-hatred manifested (I don't actively hate myself, I try to be much kinder to myself these days but yknow)

Anyway, I realised that it's the start of Bharani season in galactic centre mid-mula Ayanamsa today & I think this write up really aligns with that.

Thankyou for reading lol.. again, a bit of an angsty personal thing but maybe it could be relevant to someone, if y'all wanna know what Venusian artistic angst looks like in real time lmao 🖤🥀

#nakshatras #astrology #music #artist #aesthetic #vedic astro observations #venus

36 notes · View notes

my-autism-adhd-blog · 5 months

Note

Hello lovely,

What are the pros and cons of pursuing a diagnosis?

I think I have autism (32 on the AQ, 139 on the CAT-Q, 157 on the RAADS-R, and 133 on the Aspie Quiz v5) but I'm a very high-masking gifted/honors/AP girl and I worry it will have more cons bc of poor societal acceptance then it will have pros : (

I mentioned my concerns to my primary care doctor and she really quickly dismissed them (I didn't mention the tests I did, just that I had a lot of traits/issues typical of autism) and I'm worried that trying to get help or anything will be a long hard uphill battle. Fortunately I am getting seen for sleep issues soon which are my worst problem but yeah

Thanks for your counsel

- 💙🌹

Hi there,

There are many pros and cons when it comes to getting an autism diagnosis. Here’s some from helpfulminds.co.uk

Advantages of Adult Autism Diagnosis:

1. Self-understanding and identity: Receiving an autism diagnosis as an adult can provide a profound sense of self-understanding. It validates personal experiences and challenges, helping individuals make sense of their differences. It offers a framework through which they can explore their unique strengths, interests, and areas of difficulty, leading to greater self-acceptance and personal growth.

2. Access to appropriate support and accommodations: An adult autism diagnosis opens doors to various resources and support services. It enables individuals to access specialised therapies, counselling, and tailored interventions. It may also qualify them for workplace accommodations, such as flexible schedules, task modifications, or a supportive work environment. These support systems can enhance well-being, foster independence, and improve overall quality of life.

3. Connection and community: Obtaining an autism diagnosis can provide a pathway to connecting with others who share similar experiences. Joining support groups, online communities or participating in autism advocacy networks can foster a sense of belonging and reduce feelings of isolation. These connections often offer invaluable emotional support, shared experiences, and practical advice.

4. Enhanced relationships and communication: Understanding one’s autistic traits can lead to improved personal and professional relationships. It helps individuals communicate their needs and preferences effectively, reducing misunderstandings and promoting better understanding among friends, family members, and colleagues. With increased self-awareness, individuals can build stronger connections and cultivate healthier interactions.

Disadvantages of Adult Autism Diagnosis:

1. Emotional impact: Receiving an autism diagnosis as an adult can trigger a range of emotions, including relief, validation, but also grief or regret. Some individuals may experience a sense of loss for the opportunities they feel they missed or the difficulties they faced due to a lack of understanding. The process can be emotionally challenging and require support to navigate.

2. Stigma and societal perceptions: Unfortunately, despite growing awareness, Autism is still surrounded by stigma and misconceptions. Disclosure of an adult autism diagnosis can lead to potential discrimination, prejudice, or social exclusion. Society’s limited understanding of Autism may hinder employment, education, or social integration opportunities. This lack of acceptance emphasises the need for broader awareness and education.

3. Limited diagnostic resources and accessibility: Obtaining an autism diagnosis as an adult can be challenging due to limited diagnostic resources and professionals specialising in adult assessments. Waiting times and financial constraints may present significant barriers for those seeking a diagnosis. This lack of accessibility may lead to delayed self-understanding and hinder access to vital support services.

Seeking an autism diagnosis as an adult has advantages and disadvantages. While the diagnosis can offer self-understanding, access to support, and a sense of community, it may also evoke complex emotions and expose individuals to societal stigma. It is important to weigh these factors and consider personal circumstances before pursuing a diagnosis. Regardless of whether one receives an official diagnosis, fostering acceptance and embracing neurodiversity can contribute to a more inclusive and understanding society.

The full article will be below. There are even more pros and cons, so those are just examples. I recommend researching for more to make up your mind.

I hope this helps. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

#inbox #inbox reply #inbox is temporarily closed

48 notes · View notes

le-fruit-de-la-passion · 10 months

Text

Two Hours - Chapter 1 - Shigaraki x Reader

***

Maybe, just maybe, some things might be worth waiting for.

***

Two hours.

He was late by a full two hours. Meaning 120 minutes, 2700 seconds, 7200000 precious milliseconds wasted of your life. You'd know, you counted.

You glared at the library clock again, as if it was its fault you had been stood up. Disgruntledly, you pushed back your chair, getting up to put your laptop and revision materials back in your bag. It was the last time you'd try and help a stranger because clearly, strangers sucked.

You had done tutoring for different classes since your second year in college. Literature, philosophy, anthropology, history- name it, you could teach it. And you loved doing it like few other things made you happy. Was there anything as wonderful as showing others the beauty of human nature, its creativity, its passion, its sincerity?

"Sincerity my ass," you thought, angrily shoving your backpack on one shoulder. It clunked loudly as it bumped against a wooden shelf, and the librarian threw you a dirty look from the other side of the room. Part of you felt bad; you had spent a while trying to cultivate a good relationship with the older man, since you spent most of your free time in the library. But the rest of you, which was to say almost all of you, didn't care, because you were unbelievably frustrated.

You had had students give you tons of excuses before: they were sick, their mom was sick, their neighbors' dog was sick, and they just had to skip the tutoring session. You didn't mind that; they'd always text at least an hour in advance, and you'd have the time to read their message and go home with a smile, instead of walking all the way to the library.

But today's guy was different. You knew he had your number and your email address: it was part of the tutoring agreement you had both signed online. And yet he hadn't had the decency, the respect, to send a single message to tell you he couldn't come to the two-hour appointment he himself scheduled. And now, you had just wasted two hours, excitedly waiting to expose the wonders of literature to a guy who couldn't even bother to text you "can't come".

You gave the librarian a half-hearted nod of apology and headed toward the big glass doors at the front of the building. The weather looked moody outside, the sky grey and heavy like rain could start pouring at any moment. You didn't need to check your bag to know you didn't pack an umbrella. It was clear this was one of the days.

Sighing, you opened the heavy door to walk out at the same moment a man pushed to get in. You tucked your body to the side to keep the door open for him, but he flatly ignored the gesture, walking past you without uttering a "thank you".

"Yup," you thought, "strangers suck."

Before you could take more than a few steps outside, a droplet of water fell right on top of your nose, stopping you in your tracks. And then another, and another, and in a flash, the area was getting flooded, puddles already forming around on the dark asphalt. You couldn't help as another sigh escaped you, bracing for the impact of the freezing rain as you took a step forward into the tempest.

Then, something grabbed you by the shoulder.

You yelped in surprise and turned around, fists instinctively bunching up to your chest to protect yourself, heart racing. It took you a few seconds to recognize the rude guy who had just passed you on his way in.

He was tall, taller than you had first realized. His oversized hoodie made it hard to gauge his frame, the visibly worn-out fabric stretched shapelessly around his torso. Your eyes looked up for a face you couldn't find: the black hood fully obscured his features, and for a second, images of killers in horror movies alarmingly flashed through your mind.

You shoved yourself out of his grip and took a step back, eyes wide. He nonchalantly placed his hand back in his pocket, an unimpressed glare staring right back at you. His eyes were red, bright red.

"You're the tutor, right?"

You looked at the ominous figure incredulously.

"What ?"

"You're the tutor, right ?" he repeated in a low, raspy tone. He sounded annoyed.

You kept staring at him, wondering if he was speaking in a foreign language you had never heard of.

Then, his words started registering.

"Tomura..." you started uncertainly, the math adding up in your head as you remembered the name on the little manilla folder you had prepared for today, "Shigaraki ?"

A small smile etched itself onto the man's face, and you noticed how cracked his lips were, a faded scar going through the dried skin. Strands of slightly greasy hair, white as snow, rebelliously escaped the black hood, and for a second you caught another glimpse of his crimson eyes. But they disappeared back under the shadow of the fabric, and you realized your body had tensed like a rock.

"I'm the guy," he said nonchalantly, the hand you had pushed away going up to his neck and mindlessly scratching the skin there. There were marks there, some old, and others so fresh they looked like they were bleeding. Anxiously, you wondered if instead of a killer, you had stumbled on an addict.

"Hey, so when do we go get a seat inside? It's fucking cold out here," he added, gesturing lazily towards the library.

You kept staring.

And staring.

He hadn't possibly said what you thought he had just said. No one was so impossibly clueless and self-centered that they would come two hours late to a meeting and act like they were the one who was being bothered. But the cold rain falling down your face made it aboundedly clear: this was real.

"No," you finally said, enunciating the word slowly.

He looked as confused as you first did, the smug, composed look on his face instantly falling. He didn't look like he was told "no" often, and you felt the flame of anger start to burn inside you.

"What do you mean, no?"

"I mean no," you replied drily, feeling confidence coursing back through your body. There was no doubt in your mind you already looked like a drowned rat from the rain, and that your waterproof mascara was starting to reach its limits. But you weren't about to be scared of some loser trying to look tough with a crusty hoodie and unwashed hair.

"You came two hours late for the tutoring, which lasts two hours. My work slot with you is from four to six, and it's exactly," you snapped, bringing your phone up to his face, "Ten past six, so my work here is done."

He stared at your phone in incomprehension, then back at you, irritation slowly settling on his pale features. His thin brows frowned, and you noticed another scar marring his right eyelid the piercing crimson stare bore into you. Maybe he was some kind of gang member, and if so, was it a good idea to mouth off to him?

"Look, I don't know what crawled up your ass, but I'm paying to have a tutor," he snarled drily. "That's not fair."

You had to wonder if you were even talking to an adult. So maybe he was a killer, or an addict, or a gang member, and he would end up stabbing you for it, but by God, were you going to put that guy back in place.

"Well, tough luck, buddy," you almost spat out, your usually level-headed patience entirely fizzled out, "it wasn't fair to make me wait two hours and then expect me to have nothing other to do in my life than tutoring your sorry ass. But life isn't fair, is it ?"

You turned around, throwing the man one last angry look: "If you want tutoring, then be there next week. On time."

You felt oddly proud of yourself as you walked away, leaving him wet and alone in the rain. And if you were slightly trembling at the feeling of the crimson stare boring through you all the way down the library path, well, you just had to pray he didn't notice it.

---

"Huh," you noted with both surprise and apprehension, "you're here."

And indeed, there he was, slumped in one of the library's chairs, the stranger you were certain wouldn't come to your meeting this week: Tomura Shigaraki.

You had spent a few days feeling bad about the way you had handled things; yes, he had been incredibly late and entitled, but you never gave him any time to explain himself for it all. Maybe he did have a good reason, and maybe he had only acted so entitled because he was having an especially rough day.

One look at the condescending glare he threw you was enough to confirm that wasn't the case.

"Yeah, I'm here," he muttered, looking away, his right hand still ripping away at his neck like the last time you had seen him. You couldn't help but wonder about the gesture, the practiced way his fingers would visibly carve into the skin. Allergies? Eczema?

His vermillion eyes never left your figure as you put your bag down and awkwardly sat across from him, looking down at the carpeted floors.

"Why are you that surprised ?" he added flatly, "I told you, I'm paying for this shit."

You weren't a confrontational person; or at least, you did your best to avoid confrontation. But you'd been tired last week, and his whole little disrespectful charade had pushed you over the edge. You weren't sure you were up to deal with it again.

Your lack of response seemed to irritate him; he picked up a small handheld console from his lap, immediately busying himself in a game like your presence held no meaning to him.

You took a small breath, not wanting your temper to rise again; if you wanted this to work, you'd need to be the first to give the olive branch. You put on a nice, professional smile: "Let's put everything to the side for a moment, start over. Maybe we could both introduce ourselves again ?"

His thumbs toyed with the joysticks on his handheld, disinterest palpable."Why? I know who you are."

You could have strangled him.

"Nevermind," you smiled so forcefully it hurt your cheeks. "So, you're here for Lit 3250, Absurdism in Literature. That's a fun class."

"I'm only taking it because I have to," he grumbled. "I'm in computer programming. They make us take a class in the humanities department because the education system is fucked."

You raised an eyebrow at that, genuinely surprised: "They're making you do literature in computer science ?"

He shrugged, his eyes going back to the game on the small screen with obvious boredom.

"Told you. The system is fucked."

You pulled out the little manilla file you had prepared for him from your bag, spreading a few documents on the table between the two of you. For a second, you could have sworn his bored expression flickered into something new, but it was gone before you could register it.

"Well, I might not be able to do much about that, but I can try and make the class easier," you smiled a little more genuinely this time as he put his handheld to the side to look at the papers you had slid in front of him.

To your complete astonishment, as you guided him through the material, the man listened, never once taking notes, yet able to answer any question you threw his way in the shortest, most concise way possible. He seemingly absorbed the information while looking wholeheartedly disinterested, like remembering the words was barely any more work than eating or breathing. You had to wonder if the programmer in him coded the sentences in his mind, imputing every word as little lines of binary code, or if he was just this naturally, annoyingly smart.

"Alright, that's it for today," you concluded, noticing you had gone over the material you had planned for two sessions in just the last two hours. "I didn't take you for the kind of guy to listen to a tutor, but you've done a really good job today."

You gave him an honest smile, hoping to finally mend the bridge from last weekend's incident. Instead, he promptly looked away, lips tightening into a thin line.

"S' just cause I need to pass the class to get my diploma. I don't really give a shit about any of this stuff."

If he saw your face fall at that, he didn't show it. He grabbed his handheld and shoved it in his front pocket, promptly throwing his ragged backpack over his shoulder, as if the last thing he wanted was to stay here a minute longer with you.

"I'll see you next week, then," you hesitantly said, more a question than a statement. He didn't look back at you when he spoke with a grunt, already making his way out.

"Whatever."

---

"So Camus' thing is society is fucked, and as soon as you realize it you gotta kill yourself, right ?"

"Basically !" you beamed excitedly, circling a paragraph in the text facing him with the tip of your finger. "It's the idea that when you understand your role as just a cog in the machine in a mindless daily life, you have to either ignore it to rejoin society, or leave society altogether."

A small smile danced on Shigaraki's chapped lips, as smug and mocking as all his smiles were. You sometimes wondered if his face could ever express pure, genuine happiness, or if it was perpetually stuck with that self-satisfied expression.

"Yeah, I can get behind that."

It fit him, in a strange way. And he had every reason to be pompous: in three weeks, you had both gone through double the material you had planned for his first sessions, as be blasted each lesson like a simple tutorial fight in one of the many video games you'd catch him play before each lesson.

"Me too, actually," you agreed.

He looked at you disbelievingly: "You? Feeling like you're not a part of society? Give me a break, you're a tutor in university, there's probably a normie award for that."

"Well, even us normies are really just always doing the same thing, aren't we ?" you explained, laying your chin against your hand pensively. "Take the two of us. We always meet here at four o'clock on Wednesdays, at the same library, at the same table. We don't go through the motions because we want to, we do it because we have to, and that's what everyone expects from us. Kinda makes you want to quit society too, doesn't it ?"

For a moment, he said nothing. There was something unsettling in the way his ruby eyes bore into you, like he was judging your very soul. You felt your cheeks unwillingly redden after a few seconds under his piercing stare, looking away in slight embarrassment. If a few weeks spent with him were enough to convince you he wasn't a serial killer, you still found yourself troubled whenever he'd look at you too long.

He finally seemed satisfied with whatever he found looking into you, eyes mercifully leaving your face before settling on something on the table.

"That's a Plus Ultra sticker," he commented flatly.

You followed his gaze to your cellphone, face down, the small video game logo barely visible on the cover. How had he even noticed it?

It wasn't that you were ashamed of gaming in your free time, but you knew for a fact the entire literature department bore a clear disdain for any media not printed onto pages. They laughed off anything else as childish and a waste of time. Needless to say, you had never shared that passion with anyone on campus before that moment.

But damn, did you love Plus Ultra.

You couldn't help but grin excitedly at him: "Oh wow, you play too !"

"Sometimes," he shrugged with obviously fake disinterest, his crimson eyes brighter than you had ever seen them before."It's not the best game or anything, but it's alright. I feel like the whole hero fantasy trope is kinda overplayed."

He suddenly clammed up, like he had just remembered who he was talking to. The classic sour, haughty look you had gotten to know reappeared on his face.

"I just didn't know any girls played that game," he mumbled.

And there he was, the asshole you had met on that first rainy day.

"Well," you replied drily, "I play, and I'm actually one of the top All Might players in the country."

His pale fingers tremored at that, the excited brightness that he was trying very hard to conceal back in his eyes. It was so childish it was almost endearing, in a way.

"Well, what a coincidence. I'm also a top All Might player, except I was in the world ranking, last time I checked," he bragged, nonchalantly picking at his fingernails. "Maybe I could teach you a thing or two later."

As soon as the words left his mouth, the implication of a "later", of a world where you would be together outside of the required tutoring time, seemed to dawn on him. He stammered wordlessly, red spreading like fire on his pale face. It was... a lot more endearing than you would have thought.

"F-forget it. That was stupid."

You couldn't help but soften at that. Maybe, underneath the dirty hoodie and the deadly glare, he was as timid and insecure as you felt he was. The lashing out, the quips, the bratty entitlement- were they all just a facade for a guy who genuinely didn't know how to interact with others?

"Well," you hummed, "maybe after you're done with your midterms you could come over to my dorm for a match. There's a big communal TV you can pair consoles with."

The cold, detached mask was back, but it was much harder to believe with the pink coloring that reached the very tip of his ears.

"Yeah, maybe."

---

A month passed before you encountered your first hurdle in your tutoring work with Shigaraki, in the form of a "CLOSED" sign glaring back at you from the library's glass doors.

"Damn it," you mumbled, opening up your phone to find an unread message from the faculty announcing a temporary shutdown. Shigaraki, who had taken up the habit of coming on time for your sessions, looked incredibly pissed.

"So the fuckers think they can send one email and be done with it ?" he angrily snapped, kicking the library's plexiglas door so harshly it made you flinch. You took a mental note to never do anything to find yourself on the wrong side of that kick.

"Well, we can reschedule for tomorrow!" you chirped. Perhaps he'd appreciate you trying to put a positive spin on the situation.

The look he gave you could have turned you into dust.

"I'm already here. And I'm busy tomorrow. I have important things to do."

Briefly, you wondered if by important things he meant staying home and gaming. The college's main campus wasn't very large, and in the few years you had studied here, you had never caught a glimpse of him once. He had the kind of dim presence one could easily forget, but if you had passed him before, you would have known.

"I think the law building lets you take rooms for study sessions, " you proposed.

He sighed, voice raspy with irritation. "It's full of pretentious assholes," he replied drily, "and it's almost a thirty minutes walk from here."

"You're kind of a pretentious asshole yourself", you thought silently. It was clear he wasn't going to help or do anything that required too much effort on his part. When Shigaraki wanted to be annoying, he was really annoying.

"You got a better option ?" you mumbled, frustrated.

He looked down at his shoes, suddenly silent. "Ah ha", you thought victoriously, "didn't think so".

Then, words you could have never expected came out of his mouth: "Yeah. Come to my place."

You looked at him incredulously. He looked as surprised as you did, like he wasn't the one who had just talked.

"I live like ten minutes from here," he explained hurriedly, glaring down at the asphalt like it might melt and swallow him whole, "it'll take way less time."

It wasn't as if you didn't know the guy at all, but to say you knew him enough to go to his house, alone, was a stretch.

Although you had been able to shake off your initial fear of him, you still felt something dark and looming in the way he carried himself. For as easy as it was to read him when he was embarrassed or caught off guard, the calculating, sharp gaze he seemed to judge the world with still left you at a loss. Even more so right now, when it was directed at you.

"Ok," you eventually said before you could decide against it. What was the worst that could happen?

At first, you hadn't had much reason to worry; you walked along the main streets that cornered the campus, still filled with quite a few students going about their business. But then, he took you into a small alleyway. And then another, and another, and another, to the point where you couldn't recognize what part of the city you were even in. The buildings you passed had gotten older and older the more you walked, most of the ones surrounding you were now decrepit and abandoned. They loomed over you and Shigaraki, fully blocking the sun, a claustrophobic maze of old bricks and concrete.

You realized that you had drifted closer to Shigaraki unconsciously, your shoulder almost brushing against his. But you couldn't bring yourself to move away, the simple proximity of someone you at least relatively knew reassuring to your mind.

If Shigaraki noticed, he said nothing, his long, lanky legs moving forward without hesitation. You took a moment to discreetly observe the man, his features more detailed now that you stood next to him. The scarring was much worse than you had first realized. It spread from the small glimpses of his forehead you could see behind strands of shaggy white hair, to the start of his chest hidden by his black shirt. In some spots, the skin looked dry, old; in others, it was like it had been freshly ripped apart by sharp and uneven nails. You had found it worrying for yourself, at first, when you thought he was some kind of junkie; but now you found yourself worrying over how much the bruising hurt him.

His hand protectively grabbed his neck when he noticed your staring, thin eyebrows frowning in annoyance.

"Before you ask, yes, I've tried creams and ointment and all that shit the doctors send you to buy at the drugstore. It doesn't work. I know I'm ugly, you don't need to rub it in."

A pang of guilt hit your chest. You didn't think before honestly replying: "I don't think you're ugly."

He looked at you coldly, any trace of friendliness gone: "You think you're real smart playing with me, don't you?"

"No, I mean it, I don't think you're ugly!" you hurriedly exclaimed. "Just, ok, look."

You quickly pulled back the sleeve of your shirt, showing him the inside of your forearm with insistence. His eyes narrowed suspiciously: "What the hell am I supposed to look at?"

"A scar," you replied, showing him the thin pale line that crossed your skin. "I got it as a kid when I fell from a tree in kindergarten. Oh, and I also have this one!"

You tugged at your pants to reveal a darker webbed mark on your ankle, the skin smoothed by time: "That one is really stupid, I got it from wearing heels three sizes too small at my high school prom and falling down a flight of stairs. And I also have this other one-"

"I get it !" he interrupted, frustrated. "Yeah, alright, you have some scars too, but it's not the same thing as me."

"I know it's not," you replied calmly. "I'm not trying to say it is. But... I don't think having scars makes me ugly. I think they show I've been through something, and I'm still here to tell the story. And I think you might have been through a lot, but you're still standing here with me. So... if you don't think my scars make me ugly, then you shouldn't think yours do."

He didn't reply, silently making his way forward. Had you made him feel angrier, or even embarrassed? In one last effort to get your point across, you added:

"I think they kind of make you like Eraserhead in Plus Ultra 3."

That made him stop right in his tracks.

"You...think I look like Eraserhead ?" he hesitantly asked.

You nodded, and his cheeks reddened slightly. He took a few seconds before letting out the next words:

"Don't laugh," he warned you, "or I'm leaving you here. You can just find your own way back or get murked in an alley for all I care."

You crossed your fingers, presenting them to him ceremoniously.

"I won't laugh. Promise."

"I actually decided to grow out my hair to look like him."

Cute.

That was the first word to come into your mind. Cute.

You quickly chased the very strange and unwelcome thought away, in case Shigaraki interpreted your pause as a laugh.

"Well," you replied, "when I was seventeen, I dyed my hair bright yellow to look like All Might. I think I definitely got the short end of the stick in the idea department. "

He laughed, honest to God laughed, a raspy and genuine sound that made something foreign in your chest tightened. You started laughing too, and soon, you were nothing but two giggling idiots in the absolute middle of nowhere.

"Guess you're not that smart after all, miss tutor," he commented with a smirk.

His eyes lingered on you for a moment too long, like he wanted to say something else, but ultimately chose against it. He continued walking without a word, and you followed him the rest of the way in companionable silence, never straying far from his side.

---

It was a bar.

Or rather, the remains of something that once was a bar. A dingy neon sign with the three-letter word hung precariously above the door, the large "B" flashing within an ounce of its life. The walls were covered in graffiti and grime, a suspiciously moldy smell seemingly emanating from the bricks themselves.

"You... live here?" you asked hesitantly as Shigaraki made his way towards the building with no hesitation.

"Yeah," he let out, head snapping back around and eyes narrowing defensively. "You have a problem with that?"

Yes, several, including the probability of being stabbed to death here and my remains being found in the back of a garbage truck.

"No, no problem," you said.

He answered that with a grunt. The small staircase that lead to the entrance creaked under his weight, and he pushed the front door open.

"Wait here," he commanded. It was clear the subject wasn't up for discussion, so you opted for nodding along. "I'll come get you when I'm done with something."

It was all starting to feel like a terrible idea. So what if he liked the same games you did and actually seemed to listen to you rant about literature? You barely knew anything else about him.

You knew he felt lost in society and rejected by the world. You knew his whole face would become red as a tomato anytime he felt embarrassed or flustered. You knew he would bite his lip in concentration when he played on his handheld, and that his leg would bounce up and down like a puppy's tail every time he got close to winning. You knew his eyes were unlike any you had seen before.

But what did you really know?

"You lost ?"

You spun around so fast you stumbled on your own feet, almost falling straight onto the dirty pavement.

The man standing in front of you had sneaked by so silently you had never registered his presence, even with how close he had gotten. He seemed very amused at the way you backed away in fear, your eyes wide.

"No, no I'm fine, I'm- I'm waiting for a friend, actually," you managed to stammer out.

Somehow, he didn't look like he believed that at all.

He was the picture-perfect example of men your parents had told you to stay away from. His skin was covered in dark tattoos, their shapes incomprehensibly mingled with what appeared to be burn scars, seemingly spreading all over his body. In the dark, one could mistake him for a walking corpse, blue eyes glistening unnaturally in the middle of a patchwork face.

The man dragged his cigarette across his lips, letting a dark puff of smoke escape.

"What a friend, making you wait outside in the cold," he commented, the burnt and inked skin around his mouth moving in a manner you could only describe as uncanny. "Pretty stupid of you to hang out with people from here, princess. Lots of creeps in the area."

He moved closer, so close you could smell the tobacco off his breath, and the instinctive need to run coursed through your body.

"No need to be scared though," he let out with a smirk that screamed the absolute contrary. "I can stay with you for a while. Protect ya."

He was too close for you to run, now; if you tried, he could easily grab you with the large hand that was nonchalantly making its way toward your waist.

"Dabi."

Your head spun towards the entrance at the same time as the man's did. Relief spread through your body at the sight of Shigaraki, standing in front of the door where he had left you. His crimson gaze, which usually never left your form alone for more than a few seconds, was not focused on you, but on the stranger, who looked back at you with an utterly flabbergasted expression. Whoever he was, Shigaraki wasn't happy to see him.

"That's your friend ?" the stranger snorted as he started laughing uncontrollably, like he had just heard the funniest joke in his life. "Holy shit, you're even dumber than I thought you were !"

Clearly, Shigaraki did not find that funny in the slightest. You had forgotten how cold his expression had been when you first met him, uncaring and eerie. This was that, but colder, angrier, like the ripples that started forming in the water as a devastating storm would approach.

"Dabi," he repeated, and his tone was dark, final. For the first time in weeks, you felt something akin to fear at the sight of him, even knowing his anger wasn't directed at you. Had he always looked so unnervingly intimidating?

"Ok, ok, she's all yours, boss," the man finally said as he backed away, dropping the butt of his cigarette before unceremoniously stomping it. "Didn't mean to touch the property."

Tomura silently walked towards you, a rigid, cold hand forcefully grabbing yours and pulling you towards him. He headed back in, fingers so tightly clutched against yours that it hurt, and you followed without protest. You threw one last look at the man he called Dabi, a look of pure amusement on his face.

"Property", he had said.

The innards of the bar were much cozier than the outside view let on. It was relatively well kept, with a red counter with a few retro-style stools occupying the majority of the space, the leftover corner dedicated to an old leather couch facing a battered TV. With no windows on the walls, the only light came from a few yellowish neons hanging on the ceiling. The room was empty except for the well-dressed man behind the counter, who you could only assume was the bartender. He merely nodded at your arrival, his face obscured by a cloud of dark hair in the dim light, what you could discern of his body barely a shadow against the wall of bottles.

Shigaraki ignored him, pointedly dragging you to a door at the back, which lead to a small, dark corridor. He only stopped when he reached the last door, swiftly turning the rusty knob.

It wasn't difficult to understand it was his bedroom; the only light came from the double monitor screen connected to an impressive gaming PC. With the exception of a few shelves filled to the brim with trinkets and figurines, the walls were mostly bare, the white coat of paint discolored and yellowed. Visibly dirty clothes were pilled up in a corner, as if someone had hurriedly picked them up for the floor and tossed them there in an unsuccessful attempt to conceal them.

"Sit anywhere," he grumbled, looking away. "Or don't. Whatever."

He was even worse at hiding his blush than he was at hiding his clothes. You couldn't help but smile.

There were only two spots you could sit in the room: the expensive-looking gaming chair, which was clearly the most valuable item in the entire bar, or the messy one-person bed, which seemed to not have seen a washing machine in a while. The last thing you wanted was to anger Shigaraki after the encounter with the man outside, so sitting in his gaming chair seemed like a bad idea. You opted for the bed, praying to God the sheets naturally looked so patchy and discolored.

"W-what the fuck are you doing?" he sputtered immediately as you sat, eyes wide.

"Sitting," you replied simply.

"Not there! Are you stupid or something?" he audibly cringed. Damn it, you had made the wrong call. "Just sit on the floor. It's not dirty or anything, Kurogiri cleaned it recently."

You glanced doubtfully at the impressive amount of energy drinks and used tissues littering the room before lowering yourself down out of fear of seeming rude. Briefly, you wondered if Kurogiri was the man you saw mend to the bar. He looked nothing like Shigaraki, and referred to him far too politely to be family. He was too young to be his father either way. Was he both the bartender and the housekeeper?

"But why would Shigaraki have a housekeeper?", you wondered silently

"The guy outside, Dabi," you finally said. "He called you boss."

Shigaraki didn't even bother turning around to answer flatly: "And ?"

"Do you... own this place?"

"Something like that. Here."

He handed you a controller you immediately recognized, your hands automatically wrapping themselves around it just like with the one you had spent countless hours playing with at home. Shigaraki smirked slightly at the sight of you already being ready for combat.

"So, spill it out. What's your tragic backstory ?" you asked, leaning your back to the wall with a mischievous smile.

"What ?" he replied, seemingly caught off guard.

"C'mon," you pressed. "I've never seen you wear anything other than a black hoodie over a black shirt and black sweatpants. You're not subtle about it."

"I don't think you've unlocked that dialogue option yet," he retorted, with more than a hint of sarcasm in his tone. "How about you? What's your tragic backstory ?"

You chuckled: "What makes you think I have one?"

"You'd have to be a little fucked up to follow some guy you barely know into a shady bar in the middle of an abandoned factory district," he replied, raising an eyebrow, a wicked smile on his lips.

You couldn't help but smile at that; he was right. "Well, I don't think you've unlocked that yet either, Shigaraki."

"Just call me Tomura," he offered, a touch of resignation in his voice. Was he finally warming up to you? "Might as well if I'm stuck with you for the rest of the semester."

Maybe not. But something felt oddly nice about this, about him, and no matter how weird it all was, you couldn't help but let yourself bask in the strange feeling.

The computer let out a familiar little tune as the game booted up on the screen. Shigaraki visibly hesitated between sitting on his own chair or the floor, ultimately selecting the floor while keeping a reasonable distance from you. You had a feeling he wasn't very comfortable with women. But what he may have lacked in social skills, he definitely made up in gaming: his eyes burnt with fiery passion as the title screen appeared on the monitor, his hands tight around the controller. The look he threw you was one of pure confidence:

"C'mon. Show me what you're made of."

He immediately selected All Might in the character selection, implicitly daring you to do the same. All Might was the most powerful character in all the game, but he was famously the hardest one to master, with his controls requiring intense speed and dexterity. You could tell Shigaraki hadn't been lying about being one of the greatest All Might players; his fingers were already lined up on the buttons for a noticeably hard deadly combo. But you weren't one to back down on a challenge.

"5 rounds. No bonus power-ups," you smiled right back at him, pressing the button to also select All Might. The screen flashed red as the game loaded the fighting arena.

"You're playing a pretty dangerous game, you know that, player two ?" he commented, a hint of warning in his tone.

"I don't intend on losing," you replied with a grin.

And if the wild spark in his eyes meant anything, neither did he.

#hewwo #This work has been sitting in my drafts for SO long I cant even tell you #All of it is almost fully written #so the other two chapters will be released soon #it will also be on ao3 for all my sweethearts over there once the website is back up #thank you so much for reading ❤❤❤#bnha shigaraki #bnha x reader #shigaraki tomura #tomura shigiraki x reader #mha shigaraki #my hero academia shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #this work will be E rated in the next two chapters ❤

96 notes · View notes

dmajor7th · 1 month

Text

Thought, feelings, and opinions on the YR3 finale

Far be it from me to rain on anyone's parade, but by God, the 'walk into the sunset' felt so cheap, lazy, and narratively unsatisfying.

Yes yes we all love love, love prevails all obstacles and suffices in all lacking, and now that they've trotted off into The Great Unknown and dived into The Vast Lake Of Possibility, it's all rainbows and sunshine from here on. Right?

If so, why does the rest of S3's build up stand in contradiction with the ending?

All the incompatibilities Simon and Wille have when it comes to class, wealth, social standing, etc, were really put under a spotlight this season and have not gone away just because they've had a little sun-kissed make-up. Once the car journey is over, they have to actually talk about how they want their joined life to look—quite the feat at 16/17 years old—and judging by Wille's treatment of Simon throughout the rest of the series, I don't see it the road ahead being paved with glory.

We blame (excuse?) a lot of Wille's behaviours this season on external pressures. And yes, Wille was trying to balance his duty to the crown with his romance and was under intense stress with his sick mother and looming ascendence to the throne, but a lot of his shitty behaviour also came from him, as a person. Those behaviours might be learned and cultivated in an upper class context, but they're still his. He chose to shush Simon in the tent then poke at the sore spot that is Simon's litigation settlement. He chose to shout at his mother instead of pulling her over for a more sensible conversation. He chose to pass on the pressures of the court to Simon regarding Simon's online presence, rather than discussing it with him or pushing back against Farima.

And yes, I know he's sixteen and troubled, but troubled sixteen year olds also have agency and personality and decision making abilities. As much as a lot of Wille's poor behaviour is a result of external pressures, we can't blame all his actions on external pressures either, lest be become a flat nothing of a character.

S3 ep 1-5 presented us with what seemed to be a fundamental incompatibility between Simon and Wille—as people, outside of any institutions. And the 'walking off into the sunset' ending glosses over all of that character and relationship build-up for the first five episodes. They even created all the mirroring resolutions for Wilmon ("I hope you have a nice summer" etc.), only to stomp on them with what? "Mom says it's ok for me not to be King anymore! Yay!" and that's it, a big silver bullet to all their problems, now they can live happily ever after.

Speaking of Kristina—Wille just asked nicely not to be King anymore and that was it? All it took was one polite conversation he failed to have with his parents for seventeen episodes and now he's "free"? Yes there was build up to Kristina's decision, but it was also way too easy. They finally get to have a grown up conversation with Wille—I don't think they're just going to let him go, like that, after 5 minutes in the car. They still want him to be King.

And even if he's not king, he's still going to be a Royal. He might not take the throne, but he will still have titles, land, duties, and a place in the Royal family tree. He's not going to be a damn bus driver now. The only thing is is that he might no longer have access to the resources he needs—namely personal security— to live the life of someone inextricably in the public eye, and that doesn't make him freer.

Look, I get that Wille and Simon's romantic relationship was central loci of the show, so it makes total sense why so many people were rooting for a happy ending. I begrudge no one, of course—there is no one way to consume or enjoy the show, and everyone will take from it what they need.

But if they were going for a Big Sappy Ending, I wish they wouldn't have make the cracks in Wilmon's relationship so enormous that they can't just be papered over, as it feels they have in ep6.

Long Live King August.

#young royals #young royals season 3 #wilmon #Young Royals personal opinion #young royals s3 spoilers

15 notes · View notes

vantaesfairie · 1 year

Text

𝔭𝔦𝔠𝔨 𝔞 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔡 : 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔲𝔫𝔰𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔰 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔟𝔢 𝔣𝔞𝔠𝔦𝔫𝔤

atlty’s tarot readings: art commissions, paid readings, spell ritual comms open!

choose a pile below:

omg i love these bedrooms sm AAAA i would die for the first one tbh

pile 1, green umbrella bedroom:

remember that comprehension is more important than communication when talking to someone especially online. use your words to let people hear what you want. you may be misunderstood. be careful of overspending your money and going to too many shopping sprees. also, modest dressing is encouraged. you have to learn to love yourself or else your self hatred will become your vice. learn to be introspective. mainly, you will face personal inner challenges rather than external ones.

pile 2, cactus bedroom:

you may have problems overspending your money. you may feel like you are unable to cultivate your fruits of labour. it could be related to manifestation, hard work, etc. this feels halfway like pile 1, so if you are interested in that please go check pile 1 out too. pay attention to your relationships, especially platonic girl friendships. communication is a big part here. miscommunication will cause someone to misunderstand you. protect your peace and reputation. fight back to those who may try to stain you. someone may try to provoke you.

pile 3, mushroom bedroom:

your love life may be impacted and can be turbulent. i would recommend witchcraft (if you do practice it be careful). be careful not to butt heads with others, especially dominant male figures. do not lose motivation for all personal projects. avoid laziness. make sure that you have a clear direction in what you want to do or else things will just go to a pile of poop. in all the 3 piles this one seems the most transformative and 'dark' in a way. be aware of changes in your daily life and interpersonally. keep tall and stand strong in adversity.

i hope you enjoyed this pac! please consider purchasing a paid reading, spell ritual, or sigil by sliding into my dms. reblog and share if possible! i’d love to know if this resonates to you. thank you so much!

81 notes · View notes

beautifulpersonpeach · 4 months

Note

kind of random, but I’m curious about your thoughts on what seems to be the intended growth and direction of Weverse and Weverse magazine beyond the kpop sphere

bang pd has said that they want to expand weverse’s use to western artists and fanbases. Of course it’s still almost entirely kpop and kpop adjacent, but in general I like the platform and I think it could be an interesting tool for smaller artists globally. But I also don’t see western artists being that interested in engaging with their fans like this, especially where they already have tools like Instagram live. Maybe I’m biased by my army experience, but the Weverse armys are some of the cringiest (and youngest) imo, and the parasocial relationship encouraged somewhat in kpop isn’t encouraged in the same way in the west. Maybe there’d be interest in the online concert format?

as for Weverse magazine, I like the idea of growing a kpop oriented magazine that actually respects the artists. There’ve been so many dumb articles written about bts that it’s nice to see there be consistently decent interviews with them. The bts/hybe bias shows, but I don’t need constant fluff pieces about the members to appreciate the magazine and I think it’d be better off in the long run if they have objective authors writing about kpop generally. I have seen some articles about western artists which threw me off of what I thought they wanted to do with the magazine and who they want their audience to end up being. Do you see a benefit in trying to grow their reach to western artists and growing their audience? What do you think they want to do with this magazine?

***

You raise very good points. I want to challenge and expand on a few things.

"...and the parasocial relationship encouraged somewhat in kpop isn’t encouraged in the same way in the west."

This is changing. Rolling Stone, Pitchfork, Billboard, etc, the main music publications have been highlighting since BTS got on the scene (2020), that musicians should look into actively building dedicated fanbases via more fan engagement, to be more successful. Here's an article from Billboard crediting this shift in the industry to Taylor Swift (I disagree). Also, western artists already leverage parasocial relationships: Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj are all examples of western artists who are about as engaged with their fans as some k-pop groups are. So if the sales pitch for Weverse is a customized fan engagement solution to lean on the parasocial aspect more, there's more than a few western artists who will be interested.

Just wanted to put that out there, and also because it ties to my next point about the (theoretical) competitive edge WV has over a platform like Instagram Live:

IL is technically the better platform because it gives you the widest audience reach. More people have Instagram already installed than they do Weverse.

But the key thing about successful fan engagement, is cultivating a fandom. Meaning, a somewhat organized group of fans. For the fans to organize, they need a fandom space. A shared feed where people in the fandom can communicate and build community. It's somewhat difficult to get this on Instagram and this is why forums like Twitter, Reddit, Tumblr, Quora etc thrive.

Weverse's pitch is highlighting a customized solution that combines the best things about those platforms into one thing, creating a dedicated fan space for the artist and their fans.

In theory, Bang PD is right on the money here and with a few adjustments should have a gold mine on his hands. But the platform isn't well managed.

And neither is the magazine.

And so that theory remains just that.

There's been a handful of dumb articles about BTS/members and other artists by Weverse Magazine too. They've done an excellent job with the interviews they've published, and sometimes they've offered critical counterarguments to shoddy logic from mainstream music publications, but the times they've gaffed have been really embarrassing for everyone involved. For example that racist article that undermined Jimin's accomplishments with FACE. One can assume that was maybe their attempt to show less bias towards BTS and come across as 'objective', but all it did was make the writer and magazine look uninformed.

To gain any critical cred they need more flashy bylines, more socially conscious Korean critics and more mainstream writers, etc. And to increase their audience, yeah more pieces featuring western artists is one way to go about it. They want the magazine as an avenue to tell their own stories and offer their own side, as well as an attempt to participate in discussions in the wider industry, in k-pop and outside k-pop.

This is the wrong way to think about things, but I use Weverse as a bellwether to gauge how efficient and well-run HYBE is. My take on things, using how Weverse appears to be managed as a proxy, is that HYBE is bloated - not quite yet a bureaucratic nightmare but key departments are slow to react whether it's in fixing problems, picking up on trends, course correcting, etc.

I don't know much about coding but the UX/UI on Weverse feels like an afterthought. Almost everything from the color scheme (and lack of personalizing options) to the fact there's a WV streaming platform nobody uses.... they could be doing a much better job with a leaner structure.

Last week if you opened Weverse you'd have gotten a notice to participate in a survey. I left my feedback and I hope y'all did too. BigHit used to be decently good at responding to fan feedback. Let's hope that's still the case with Weverse and HYBE because even the company recognizes that Weverse is underperforming.

#edited to fix typos #bts #weverse #weverse magazine #bang pd #bighit #hybe #music platforms #fan engagement #kpop fandoms

11 notes · View notes

femmefatalevibe · 1 year

Note

Can you recommend non physical ways of appearing like an educated, cultured Femme Fatale?

Hi love! Gladly, here are some tips:

Connect with your sense of self: Investigate, discover, and reflect on your personal values, goals, habits, likes, dislikes, personal style, and how you show up professionally, in personal relationships. etc.

Cultivate Unshakeable Confidence: Some tips on this topic are linked here.

Prioritize Education, Remain Well-Read: Devote some time to studying topics you're interested in, help support your career aspirations, and learn more about yourself, and the world. Read a variety of books, online publications, research journals/reports, etc. Formal education is great, but it is also important to become a life-long student. Make it a mission to learn common historical, cultural, art, literary, and political references.

Learn Proper Etiquette Rules: Saying "please" and "thank you," basic dinner table manners, RSVP'ing as soon as possible to invites, never showing up empty-handed, thank you cards, holding the door open, etc.

Mastering the Art of Conversation: Some of my best social anxiety/conversation tips are linked here.

Sharpening Your Intuition, Learn To Live An Unbothered Life: Believe in yourself. Invest in your well-being. Prioritize your goals and block out the noise from anyone trying to tear you down or criticize you for your ambition, goals, or desires. Stay in your own lane. Allow others to do the same. This is how you level up to elevate into your queen energy to create a rich life and design your dream reality.

Hope this helps xx

117 notes · View notes

sybaritick · 2 months

Text

a thought re: the post I have seen a few mutuals rb about the demonization of doms into hard kink, like how some people online are seemingly OK with someone having a sexual fantasy about receiving pain but find it morally unacceptable for someone to have a sexual fantasy about inflicting pain. (I mean one issue with this is then who's supposed to inflict the pain? Presumably someone who swears on their life that they totally aren't enjoying it?)

jokes aside I agree with the post, and I wonder how much that influences the fact that it seems like there are more submissive folks on Tumblr by a significant margin. I used to think that this was just because of the demographics of Tumblr, but the other part of course is that I don't believe the world is naturally divided on every kink into 50% givers and 50% receivers: for one, many people are both, but also sometimes there are just more people who want to suck people's toes than people who want their toes sucked (or vice versa). And I wonder about this in combination with how people "become" more dominant or more submissive.

To me it feels ""normal"" that it is sexually arousing to see someone you're attracted to in a position of weakness or vulnerability, or to see their deference to you, or to feel like they're under your control, especially so if you are the one who "put them there"/that you have intentionally cultivated this dynamic. And by "normal" I just mean that I remember feeling this way when I was 14, 15 years old/having my sexual awakening. In some sense I felt that this was a natural result of the fun of just... problem-solving and playing games. A romantic or sexual relationship can be a social game. Playing (and "solving") the game with a partner to get them into your desired position, while knowing they are trying to get you into theirs, is a great joy. Winning even more so, but there can still be fun in losing to a worthy opponent.

But of course that doesn't mean it's universal. There are many people who would agree with me but there are many people who wouldn't. And for a time I thought surely most people harbor these feelings and some people just repress them, or are forced to repress them/taught that they are not OK. But clearly it's more complicated than that-- I am not going to claim everyone is a dom deep down, lol. there must be things happening before your sexual awakening/puberty that determine some of this, based on your experiences and maybe even your genetics.

and so... do whatever-those-causes-are just tend to produce more submissives? and I would guess it must vary by society, by culture? I'm curious.

#cal txt #kinkposting

10 notes · View notes

drdemonprince · 1 year

Note

Hi - I'm having a really hard time figuring out how to cultivate community, and would love any advice!

I currently have two friends (one long distance, one who lives nearby) and live with my spouse. All of these people are also socially isolated. I spend most of my day alone in my home; I don't work because my spouse's income can support us both; I don't go out because my spouse is immunocompromised so we generally avoid being around other people; and I don't engage in online spaces very much (mostly following a few authors whose books I like or watching youtube videos about special interests). I'm autistic, adhd, and struggle with ocd, which are all things I learned about in the past two years.

I've tried to become more engaged in hobby-focused online spaces, but have found that I am not great at reading the social rules or am somehow behaving in an inappropriate way due to misunderstanding the way people were communicating. This happens both online and in-person. Over time, I've tried to become more observant, but this has led to a sort of social inertia as observer rather than participant, which excludes me from the connection-making experience so many people seem to have.

Based on some of what you have written, it seems like you put a lot of importance in community building and the work of cultivating friendships. I've seen you suggest seeking out identity-based groups (like autistic support groups or enby support groups) or seeking out hobby-based groups (like going to cons), and these are all things I've tried before but always felt unable to be a part of - like I have an invisible bubble around me that blocks me from really connecting.

I feel really frustrated and a little ashamed about all this. Like I should be trying harder or doing more in order to become more involved with the world around me. I guess, how do I do the work of cultivating community when it feels like most communities won't have me as I am? (not to say that I'm a perfect unchangeable person, but that in some core way I'm rejectable?)

I don't think you need to try "harder," just that you need to keep trying. There are a lot situational reasons why you are so isolated that it sounds like you're very well aware of, so try to keep those factors in mind to check your own feelings of brokenness/rejectability/underservingness when they occur.

You don't leave the house much. You don't participate actively in most online spaces. You don't have many opportunities for organically meeting people. No wonder you have so few connections in your life *and* feel so self-conscious and awkward when you do make an attempt. Anybody would in your situation. You need like hundreds more hours of attempts, potentially, for it to start to feel more natural and less panic inducing. That's a big part of why the first tip in my advice column on the subject is to know that this process takes years, it did for me, and to not take that as a reflection of who you are as a person.

The research on how people form friendships says time and time again that we build relationships by being in proximity to people numerous times and with consistency. That's it, and that's all. There is no magic juice or essential quality that you lack. Among neurotypicals, research shows people are more likely to be friends with people who have last names that are closer to their own in the alphabet, because those people are/were more likely to sit next to one another in class as kids. That's really how arbitrary this shit is.

We befriend the people who are around us a lot, who we interact with a lot. And so, you'll just need to be around the same people a lot (does not have to mean literally physically around, it could be in the same zoom room or discord call), and interact with them a lot. It sounds like a lot of the online spaces you've attempted to be a part of so far are not quite social enough -- I would say do not consider social media to be socializing, it's more like social snacking (tho there are some exceptions).

instead try to identify some online events or groups with meetings / synchronous forms of communicating. Watch parties, online game playing sessions, online writing groups, support groups, meetings, etc -- ones where you have interactions with a handful of the same people, where they get to know your name/handle and become familiar with you and interact with you multiple times.

You can also try asynchronous forms of communication, but they have to again be really specific and personal. Things like exchanging letters or having a pen pal or playing correspondence chess with someone -- not posting on say instagram or reddit or whatever. It has to be a form of interaction where you get to know a specific person, and they get to know you, and you navigate some of those interpersonal conflicts and insecurities that you're talking about.

Maybe you are rubbing people the wrong way sometimes, that's okay, being annoying is not a crime. don't give up. Maybe they are just dropping off the map on you sometimes for their own reasons or not being super enthusiastic and you are reading that in a negative light when it is in fact a neutral cue. Keep at it. That's really the only way to get better at it, i'm afraid.

67 notes · View notes

entropic-fantasy · 10 months

Text

A frustrated ARMY's perspective on the fandom: Let's do better?

Intro

This post isn't as polished as I would want. My intention here isn't to hate or create division, and I don't aim to call out anyone in particular. As it says in the title: I am frustrated, and honestly merely want to talk with other people in the community about what is going on and hopefully create a space where we can discuss ideas as to what we can do to improve said community.

____

Main Text

I have thought about writing something about the fandom for a little while now, but after this particular weekend, it felt more important than ever. For some context: I’ve only been an ARMY for a little over a year now, joining the fandom right before the release of Proof and just in time for that infamous Bangtan Dinner. That is to say, I have no knowledge of what the fandom was like before that point in time – and especially not before BTS became a household name for the mainstream media overseas.

My perspective is limited, but even with this taken into consideration, I am growing evermore appalled at the behaviours I have to witness online.

Let’s take a look at the events, both in real life and in the fandom, that was just too much to ignore: Yoongi’s latest concert in Seoul.

Famously, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook (Vminkook) attended, and as expected, the fandom was excited. Which is completely justified – them coming to support Yoongi was speculated on, and seeing them arrive creates hype of course. The turning point, however, was when shippers got involved.

Now, I don’t have a particular problem with shipping as such – I myself am not completely free from it even though I am now actively trying to dial back/remove myself from it – but a line has been crossed, and this isn’t the first time.

When it’s suddenly more important who arrived in a car with whom, who interacted more, than the main event itself (aka Yoongi’s concert), people should take a step back and evaluate their priorities. Especially, when it turns into the starting point of disgusting name-calling and unfounded attacks against the very people they claim to be fans of. And no: no-one here was the better sub-group. It’s not okay to accuse members of “using” one of their friends for PR purposes, and it’s not okay to accuse members of “forcing” their affection onto one of their friends against their wishes.

To put it shortly: are you out of your mind?

Now, of course members of these sub-groups will rush to defend or deflect – saying “oh, that’s just some of us” or “but they started it” or “that’s just solo stans” – but at this point none of this matters. As long as these sub-groups don’t manage to regulate themselves in their safe-spaces, cultivating an atmosphere of respect and love – like BTS actually stands for – there’s no hope for the fandom in its entirety. The “us vs them” mentality will continue to spread, these sub-groups only growing if not in numbers then in ferocity, and that is actually scary.

What they’re doing is trying to create a “canon” for the relationship between real people whose private life we are and should not be privy to. Most if not all of that canon is conjecture and opinion by fans – yes, there’s what some might call evidence for certain intimacies between members but as long this “subtext” (for the lack of a better word) doesn’t turn into “text”, going on a crusade for or against a ship to the detriment of BTS as a whole is insane.

To add my two cents:

No one in BTS is overstepping boundaries with another member. They have been brothers in all but blood for more than a decade. More importantly, they have practice in addressing problems within their group and great rapport because of that. Why would we as fans assume that there is anything fundamentally changed in their bond just because we don’t see them interact as they did before? Just because it suits a narrative doesn’t make it factually true. Yes, BTS are in another phase of their lives right now – a time of much upheaval and change – but like many friends that go through times of physical separation, they are more than able to still be brothers while doing their thing.

Neither BigHit nor Hybe are conspirators to force members apart. They are not showing real preference to one member-interaction over another – that’s not how contracts or business work. Do they engage in fanservice? Yes. They are a company, they know what creates the biggest buzz online and thus know what to highlight when it comes to the interactions between members. Emphasis on highlight. The members still do all the interacting themselves, and no-one needs to force them into doing anything. The only jobs the editors have, is finding the moments that create the most coherent video and make fans happy. Also, the notion that BTS are that constrained by their company is a bit silly – especially Jungkook has shown us how little he cares for the rules they do have (aka alcohol consumption before/during a live-stream and sleeping on stream, both of which are legitimate rules for both moral and capitalistic reasons).

No other company for that matter has any actual insight into the relationship between members, especially not one like Dispatch who does not have the same moral obligation to BTS that BigHit and Hybe have but DO have a monetary interest in them. Anything they post is not confirmation but a clever move by their social media managers that very well understand who the biggest sub-groups in the kpop fandom are.

Clothes mean nothing. We have seen on multiple occasions that various members have the same items, be that from promotional material they were sent as part of an endorsement or just personal preference. Any parallels in dress are just coincidence at this point. Especially for their official schedule appearances where we once again don’t know the details of whatever endorsements going on. That goes for colour schemes as well as accessories like bags.

To sum it up a little bit:

The only people who are overstepping are ARMY, and yes I am including everyone in this. As long as those of us who consider themselves better for whatever reason don’t step up, this is a fandom problem.

Pitting the members against one another, accusing them of paedophilia, sexual harassment of one another or manipulation of their friends for their own benefit is plain disgusting. Sending threats, spouting hate and vitriol online where it’s not impossible for the members to see? Again: what the fuck.

No one is the hero here – no one wins. All that will happen is ARMY as a whole losing whatever good opinion BTS still has of us. RM might not have meant this “discourse” when he said the fandom changed, but let’s not be naïve and think it isn’t a factor. We are, as fans of a kpop act, incredibly privileged in regards to the content we get to see. But instead of appreciating that privilege and using it for the good of the whole band, the focus gets always yanked towards three people who don’t want that and did not ask for that. The maknae-line is not the main character here, and they don’t want to be.

It breaks my heart a little bit to think that them visiting their best friend’s concert, celebrating his and their success at what is easily the highest point in their careers yet, turned into an excuse for their fandom to tear each other’s throats out. And that is just me, an individual so far removed from the real-life situation my opinion doesn’t have any bearing on it.

Imagine for a moment what Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung would feel if they knew the muddy and disgusting lengths their fans go to in order to “support” a relationship that might not even exist. They deserve better, and we can do better.

#bts #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #agust d #bangtan #namjoon #jimin #jungkook #bts taehyung #bts jhope #bts suga #i wont tag every ship because that would be insane #apobangpo #let's make that mean something again

18 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

orderednature

visualcomposite

elpincheconker

Sin título

arthemisee

Arthemise

itsjovialwombatcollection

조건만남,불륜만남,외도녀,조건녀

lalsozu

hysozu