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r0yalgrimm-artz · 5 months

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💎Cytherea Megami Headcanons💎

I've did headcanons for Kore, imma do one for Cytherea. Just love how my best ideas usually come from me sitting on the toilet for the next half hour. Also, MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of child neglect/bullying/miscarriage/form of child abuse.

((Also as a disclaimer, I feel the need to say that while yes, Cytherea doesn't exactly have the greatest support system to some extend and with how she's grew up, I am in no way in any shape or form justifying her actions for how she treated everyone else. As someone who was horribly bullied when I was in my early teens, yeah it massively fucking sucked. I've gotten over it and have tried to deal with the aftermath of it in a healthy manner. I feel the need to say this as a victim of being bullied myself, because I'm not trying to justify her actions nor wanting people to sympathise with her. Yes, you can sympathise with her to some extent with how she's been raised, but Cytherea is purely meant to be someone who's supposed to be working towards redeeming herself and not having it handed to her. She needs to learn from her past behaviour and mistakes and feel regrets.))

Anyway:

- An only child, just her and her parents plus her own personal maid. She comes from a well known, famous and wealthy family line generation known as 'The Megami Group'.

- The absolute embodiment of Regina George. Like, it ain't even funny. Plus if you mix early season one Chazz and season two Zane it's even worse.

[CUT TO BREAK UP TEXT]

- Normally tends to care about popularity at the beginning of the season, but after meeting Kore, her only goal and drive is to beat Kore and anyone at a Duel, no matter what or how savagely. Kore had ignited some sort of "crazed" obsession for winning and beating anyone and crushing them. Specifically Kore.

- Her clothes, acrylic nails, make up, skin care and shoes probably cost more than your mortgage.

- Is Norwegian. Has been taught to learn English and other languages as well, from French, Spanish, German, Greek, Italian...Especially Japanese.

- Lives purely out of spite. She absolutely thrives off pissing off others.

- Despite earlier on having loads of "friends", she can't help but always feel alone. That there isn't anyone really there for her. To be honest she thinks she prefers being alone, yet subconsciously kind of seeks out wanting someone.

- Dates Ilya Hadesu in first season, kinda dies out in the end of season 1 and beginning of season 2.

- Due to the constant neglect from her parents, she has always tried proving to them that she is worth something. To gain their love and affection that she used to crave. Seeing other kids have loving parents kind of infuriated her to the point she lashed out or tried to physically hit said person.

- Cytherea was basically a product of...literally not exactly a wanted child by both of her parents. Her parents basically never planned to have kids, but once Cytherea's mother fell pregnant accidentally, her father had only hoped it would be a boy. Of course, Cytherea ended up being a girl, thus both parents really had zero interest in her.

- Cytherea has her own personal maid, which was hired originally as a midwife by Cytherea's mother to aid her throughout the pregnancy. Her midwife was also pregnant at the time, but unfortunately miscarried in the later stages of pregnancy. However, once Cytherea was born literally a week after, seeing how both Cytherea's parents had little to no interest, the midwife ended up wanting to stay and become a maid for them, personally for Cytherea and to take care of her. Thus forth, she had become more of a parental guardian and more so a paternal figure towards Cytherea. Cytherea seeks her out for parental guidance most of the time. Even going so far as to teach Cytherea little things, such as sewing and even getting Cytherea into knitting. Proper manners, table manners and elegance, plus playing the piano is what Cytherea learned from her maid.

- Just an add on from the last point, but whatever achievements Cytherea gets that are usually brushed off by her parents, her maid will always be there to support her and even praise her massively for her achievements. Even if Cytherea still seeks out her parents validation.

- Cytherea has....so many achievements. From ice skating, to horse riding, skiing, acrobatics, swimming...She is first place. Always first place. She will never settle for less no matter what. Mocks anyone that's in second place, calling them "first place in being the biggest loser".

- Definitely has bullied students at Duel Academy. Equally. Doesn't matter who it is or what they look like, at the end of the day, everyone will suffer her wrath.

- She is either loved by the school, massively hated, or is greatly feared amongst the lower dorms. Has created many...many enemies. Such as Alexis, Chazz, Aster, Bastion, Zane, Adrian...probably more but Syrus massively fears her. Hassleberry dislikes her attitude, even saying to her face one time. Cytherea threatened Hassleberry with something just so he could shut up. Hanae absolutely hates her guts. Massively.

- Kore is oblivious to Cytherea's threats and their rivalry after Kore stood up to her. Kore for some reason tries to befriend Cytherea (despite Chazz literally warning Kore several times to not to), even going so far as to get her a little silly gift for Cytherea for her birthday. Cytherea had screamed at Kore that she is worthless and will be nothing but a pathetic rival. Yet, Cytherea still had the gift Kore made for her to this day.

- Does not cross Miyu in the slightest. Her and Miyu are on...civil terms shall we put it. Something happened during season one where Miyu somehow managed to strike fear into Cytherea during a duel. Cytherea has not dared to even face Miyu since. But she will never admit it.

- Loves scented candles. Has several in her dorm room. Plus has a hobby in knitting and sewing (callback to previous points ago). She finds peace in it.

- Definitely tried to provoke Sartorius at one point. Literally insults and berates the entire white dorm in season two. Might have hired someone at one point to blow up the white dorm because...why not. How Cytherea has now be expelled or you know- CHARGED is beyond anyone's mind.

- Somehow became friends with Jaden in season two. Much to his friend's hatred. Starts to slightly mellow out with her behaviour at the end of season two and during season three.

- Has some...deep admiration for Axel. Probably at some point was stuck with him during their time in the other dimension. When Axel felt fear, Cytherea probably stood up and took over the reins and was probably like "move your ass we got a Supreme King to fucking kick the fuck out of". But yeah, throughout season three her admiration for Axel builds up. Could be a crush? Hell no she doesn't get crushes...she thinks. Either way, she keeps her mouth shut about it till like season four when she then is like "...okay you're cool I'll only admit".

- Throughout season four, Cytherea isn't exactly the extreme mean girl she was compared to season one. Sure she still acts mean at times and a bitch during season four, but Cytherea is more...self aware about the people around her. Granted, the gang don't let her off the hook, she has to earn their trust and respect. Especially when Kore isolates herself after what happened, Cytherea tries to help her. Even being firm, blunt, yet understanding towards Jaden as well. Considering the horrors that they all went through.

- Is disowned by her parents at some point during the series. I don't know how yet, but probably during season two where Sartorius probably pulls some shit, alerting her parents and gets to the point they disown her. Thus making Cytherea realise that this whole time she didn't need them, considering her maid only ever acted as her guardian and ever helped her. Thus, once she graduates from Duel Academy, she tries to take a portion of her family's company, building up whatever she has and actually becomes more successful than her parents with the family name. She eventually asks her maid to adopt her to be her legal daughter, and the maid ofc agrees.

- Does actually briefly date Kore for like a year and a half after they graduate but then break up once they decide to just keep it as friends since they realised they were better as friends. Did Chazz find out? Yes. Was he happy about it? Haha- He was fucking furious.

- She always wears diamonds. No matter what outfit. Diamonds are essential.

- Hates the smell of flowers. Thinks they look pretty but she thinks they have a pissy smell to them.

- Religiously follows a morning and night time skin care routine. Will never miss out any steps, nor miss out doing the entire routine. If she does, there will be hell to pay.

- A big morning person. Likes to wake up bright and early to get a head start of the day. Will always wake up at 6AM. The latest she'll lie in will be 7:30AM, no later.

- Enjoys a lot of teas. Very much a tea enjoyer, any variety of tea flavours.

- Always dressed up. Will never be caught dead in lounge wear or in lazy clothing. She is always dressed to impress and outshine everyone.

- Upon first glance she doesn't look athletic, but thanks to her years of ice skating and other activities she participated in, she is quite flexible and strong, mainly strong in the legs.

- Is quite a mean duelist. Sometimes plays dirty but tries to play fair. Shows no mercy and never holds back. She goes all out on destroying her opponents. Does not like showing weakness.

I think that's all, unless there's more I might edit later or mention in the later future.

#yugioh gx #ygo gx #my post #yugioh #ygo #yugioh oc #oc #my oc #ocs #oc stuff #my art

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hostelsbigbro · 2 years

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my opinion on the lookism characters expect i am brutally honest bc these are just little fictional characters !! pixels !! deadass !! do you need to agree? no !! it will not change anything, i am open to hearing your opinions as well !!

daniel most realistic personality wise and i slowly forget more and more about him because we are straying away from the main topic

zack best boy, he might not be everyones favourite but he has always been doing his best to emotionally become more intelligent and aware, he has so much potential and is the most loyal friend ever, i really hate how ptj dumbs him down bc lookism fans obviously go 'oh haha he is dumb!' bitch no he goes out of his way to love people and no one really seems to love him the same way give him a fucking break

vasco i really loved him but the more they show him the more unbearable he becomes like bro the FUCK they make him boring and cold for? dude is on the road of slowly becoming what he hates the most in this world, a bully.. like i know he is dumb but that much? bro

jace he used to be so smart and so sexy and honest to his mistakes but now he is an irritating jay park look alike that pretends he knows what he is talking about !!! he isnt a genius everyone around him is just dumb as hell

mira does she have a personality besides weak, controlling and easy to make sulky if things aren't exactly how she wants them to be?? no?? i thought so

zoe literally best girl she has grown so much as a person i am so proud of her i would kill logan for her <3

mary not gonna lie i dont remember much about her personality besides anger issues, cursing and insecure but she is beautiful and honestly whoever puts up with vinjin for years without going insane deserves a praise i am convinced she is incredibly patient

jerry does this bitch have a personality outside of jake, i wanted to like him but i fr cant whenever he comes in frame it will always turn into a dramatic soap opera about his love for jake and promises

jake actually the funniest AND kindest person bc how does anyone know Jiho and still try to see the good in him? he is better than me for sure because he can see the good in everyone no matter how irritating the person is

samuel my one and only precious lovely diamond baby <333 did it make sense? no ! however i would protect this wounded person with my heart no one ever seems to treat him nicely expect eugene who is a literal monster

johan this is my child and i am convinced he has never done anything wrong not once in his life time every crime he commited was justified, he is just a baby who has been alone for too long !! imagine trying to figure out how to be an adult from age 12 bro that is exhausting he needs a break

eugene a fucking bastard however.. he could manipulate you to love him !!! bro got shipped with his own brother i feel like this fandom is going to hell bc they did the same with jake and samuel anyway eugene is a bitch but one that will make you question yourself

vinjin i want to like him but then he opens his mouth

sally i love her !!! she has so much potential but lately ptj makes her be nothing else other than a weak crying brat!!! i wish they would just make her strong, smart and emotionally intelligent just like when she got introduced!!! still funny tho 10/10

heather fuck this r*pist! I have no sympathy for her

yenna best baby, bet she is kind

eli i want to write a book about my love for him

i got tired tbh thats it

#lookism #외모지상주의 #daniel #zack #samuel #jake #jerry #mary #vinjin #vasco #jace #mira #zoe #johan #eugene #sally #eli

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mairumakun · 2 years

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out of curiosity. who would be your top five mairuma characters? asking for top five because if i got asked to pick one i would have an aneurysm lol

My Top 5 Mairimashita Iruma-kun characters are:

1. Iruma - he's got a broken power & he's a wild card! He can steal or absorb someone's mana and use it as his own. I also like his character development and loved how despite being abused & taken advantage of by his parents, he still went on with his life. He's a tough kid & he deserves everything he has now in the demon world.

2. Balam - despite his bloodline ability being something that can't be used for fighting, still he is talented, intelligent, and strong to make up for it! He's also kind and the greenest green flag in the adults in mairuma! He is a big softie & loves giving head pats, he's so wholesome and i love him so much!! <3

3. Ameri Azazel - I love it when the main female leads are strong and isn't a damsel in distress that always needed saving. I love her personality and how her character come off strongly but she still has this cute side. I love it also that she is a born leader, she's so strong, ambitious, and reliable. I admire her so much. I love this kind of female leads because they're so rare! A female lead that is a literal queen and already strong enough to fight and defend herself without anyone's help.

4. Kalego Naberius - People in the fandom hated him because of his personality but he is a good person. And he is so unlike Snape! He do not unreasonable bully his students. His hatred towards the kids was justified because they annoy him lmao and some kids are annoying to be honest! LOL. But despite of this, he still take care of his students a lot and observe or take notes about them and try to help them to be the best version of themselves. He may have given them all some difficult tasks but please do not forget that he gave them all his support by contacting and providing them a good the BEST TUTORS! He also helped them, as long as you ask him for help. He may not obviously express it, but he is proud of the abnormal class! <3 Also, Kalego is also very strong and I adore his fluffy form when Iruma summons him!

5. Sabnock Sabro - this is a literal best boy! He has the best character development in mairuma and he is always willing to learn from his mistakes, apologize for it, and proceeds to immediately reflect and be a better person. To be honest, I wouldn't mind Sabro becoming a demon king because of this. I am also rooting for him besides Iruma, because he is a great demon and is also wholesome. He also treat Clara Valac well and that says a lot about him. He is also ambitious, with a strong drive to get what he wants but without going through shortcuts, I was really touched when he rejected Baal's offer of making him a demon king because he wanted to do it on his own! He also respects Iruma so much and he is very humble, reliable and also, a good brother to Sylvia.

Wow. This is so long but that's it lol.

#mairimashita! iruma kun #mairuma #welcome to demon school iruma kun #魔入りました入間くん #welcome to demon school #iruma kun #iruma #m!lk #魔入間 #mairuma kun

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boston-babies · 1 year

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Look, I’m all for people calling Chris out on his bullshit because he hurt mama and it’s deserved. But this family is trying to move on, heal and work together to be stronger and closer with one another.

Also think about Mama, she doesn’t deserve to keep reliving something that is extremely sensitive to her, when she wants to move forward and have time to heal. The constant harassment and bullying towards Chris no matter how justified you think it is, will only backfire onto Mama.

Mama deserves to heal and we need to respect that, support her and let her know how loved she is.

just my opinion, sending you love Mama🤍🤍

It was an honest mistake and I know things are rough right now but we’ll make it through this. I know we will but thank you sweetie!💜💜

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ofdreamsanddoodles · 3 years

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Hey idk if you’re the best person to ask and I’m not trying to start anything, I don’t mean this disrespectfully but why is the new poster artist art problematic?? I’m just not very educated on the subject :)

first of all, i'd recommend looking at this post from thegrinningwheels going over the mistakes people make when drawing peter because this definitely plays into some of them. also, disclaimer that i am white, and if anyone else wants to jump in, feel free. before i start, i'd like to mention this screenshot:

[id: a screenshotted twitter thread containing three tweets. 1. jay onetiredboy (@onetiredb0y) can i ask why you'd want to distance the official art from your previous artworks? is there a particular criticism you'd like to directly address? or... ... 2. Ellison Estephan (@/ellisonestephan) I like to draw goofy stuff as a fan! I thought it would be more professional to make sure people remember that stuff isn't "official art" or something now, just because I'm drawing some posters haha!! 3. *sighs* hyperion city... (@junosteel [rest is cut off]) with all due respect, you can just say that your art perpetuated racism/transmisogyny/ableism without hiding behind "haha its goofy." better to at least be transparent and address it than dancing around the issue an acknowledging it as goofy. own up to your mistakes pls. /end id]

as well as this response to harley kaner saying that people sometimes called others racist to justify bullying them (a post made about an hour or so after the artist was announced)

so they know they messed up but... yeah they're not gonna apologize

(a link to the junoverse designs for anyone who wants to follow along)

for starter’s, the way peter is drawn feels a bit like a caricature, to the point of drawing on transmisogynistic stereotypes. (stereotypes that are like, ten times more visible in their art of vespa, who is actually trans fem which i’ll get to in a second) the intersection of what it means to be a feminine gnc person and being a poc are many and varied, and there is definitely a lot to say about femininity being seen as wrong and shameful. there's a lot of history in how Asian men's femininity has been portrayed and sexualised, both in fandom & in the world at large, and sometimes white authors just aren’t capable of handling those points with care. as much as i would love to celebrate a gnc character design, i think it's safe to say that this artist's depiction of a hyper-feminine nureyev feels like a mockery rather than honest representation

also, it may not be intentional, but when you have a line-up & you're drawing the lighter characters (or at least nureyev and buddy) much more sultry & sexual than the darker ones.... that tells me something about how you view people of color. especially when the sexual way you draw those lighter characters has nothing to do with their character

a line up like this is supposed to give you an indication of character personality. this is supposed to be how you're going to present them to the world. both buddy and peter use their charisma to their advantage sometimes, but that charisma is based on their personality! though he's absolutely flirted to get what he wants, peter tries to give off the vibes of a suave gentleman. if he’s wearing a tie, it’s not going to be haphazardly put on, because he cares about his appearance. peter can be sexual, but it’s not really the way he presents himself to the world at large, and this version of him goes so far it feels like some kind of parody of ouran host club or something, which makes me feel like it’s mocking him rather than trying to honestly portray his character.

buddy meanwhile has never flirted with anyone but her wife and gets her way with confidence & force. that exaggerated body type would already be a bad look on its own because of the hypersexual way people view women of color, but with added context, it kind of feels like there's the implication that the only way these characters could be as cool & charismatic as they are is if they get their way with sex, which is just... incredibly racist

some of it is just an issue with the art style in general. a lot of cartoonish styles have exaggerated features, but there's a limit to how much you can exaggerate those features without just drawing actual stereotypes. alessandra's design makes me uncomfortable for the exact opposite reason as buddy's: cartoonishly gigantic muscles aren't really a great sight when black women are constantly seen as hypermasculine. i might be a bit too critical on this one? i feel like it was worse when i first looked at it, but there's still the fact that exaggerating an asian character's eyelids is racist. it's like. racism 101. both peter and quanyi have incredibly slitted eyes in the majority of their art & personally the way quanyi specifically is exaggerated makes her seem more…. manic, somehow? the way her eyes are lidded aren’t only racist, but make it seem like she’s constantly giving everyone bedroom eyes which is just. Oof

vespa i wanted to talk about in more detail, because there is literally not one element of this design that doesn’t scream bigotry. It reminds me so much of every terrible caricature of a trans woman i’ve seen in horror. The wild bloodshot eyes, the bloody nose, the dagger, the unkept hair & hairy armpits, the wardrobe malfunction revealing a bare chest for no other reason than shock value alone—because how else are we supposed to know what kind of woman she is? There’s already been so many films & just, media in general linking trans women to mental illness and violence. We absolutely didn’t need a vespa design that looks like she belongs in silence of the lambs. If this was just vespa holding a knife, that’d be fine! She does, canonically, have a knife that she uses. But everything about this vespa is designed to look as offputting as possible. She doesn’t look dangerous because she’s part of our cool crime family, she looks out of control. Which is exactly how vespa worries the world will see her! Taking a character who says, pretty up front that she wants to be seen as more than her violent urges & mental illness and then drawing her in a way that screams “look out! This person is dangerous and mentally ill!” is honestly unforgivable. Add that to the fact that everything about her appearance implies she’s doing womanhood “wrong” (obviously, not shaving should be considered a neutral thing, but when it’s only a trans woman character you show with hair, it’s worth considering why you feel the need to do something like that) including the fact she’s going around with her shirt slipped like that, which looks obviously oversized to fill a chest she doesn’t have. One of the first things i learned about writing trans characters is that you should never reveal a character is trans by taking a moment to emphasize how different their body looks from a cis person, be it through having someone else walk in on them in the shower or this. It’s voyeuristic and serves no purpose but to make someone’s gender seem like a dramatic twist instead of an identity that deserves respect, and if a trans artist can’t even understand that, then there’s no hope of them accurately representing literally anyone else.

according to a friend, this art had been drawn before vespa was confirmed as trans (but reposted after, so clearly they didn’t see an issue either way) but that just means they saw an angry, schizophrenic woman & decided to not just make her a harmful stereotype of a pyschotic person, but add insult to injury by making her trans as well.

This has gone on too long & i can’t type anymore, but i wanted to say the second citadel designs really aren’t any better. Every character they chose to make a poc implies something negative, such as making marc and tal the only knights of color & then placing them as nothing more than comic relief. Maybe i could believe this was part of an effort to show the white characters as part of the oppressive class if it wasn’t for didn’t seem clear that we’re supposed to see the brothers as a pair of bumbling fools. Not to mention every single other bad thing they did

EDIT: i want to emphasize that just because i’ve only talked about the junoverse designs doesn’t mean the citadel designs aren’t also worth an apology. so far, the only thing ellison has said (aside from them calling the initial line up “goofy”) is this tweet, but when they say “i wouldn’t draw those characters like that now,” that apology doesn’t acknowledge the fact that multiple people on twitter have criticized quanyi’s design for some of the reasons mentioned above. it also rings a bit more hollow when they say “i wish i could go back and design things different” because this citadel line-up was posted in late august. if you’re incline to go “well, this was in the past, and they apologized” (and i do see some proof they changed their vespa design) i’d like to remind you that some of their most recent drawings were in fact, last month, and there has been no acknowledgement they understand what was wrong with that. whoever was involved in getting a new artist for the penumbra saw these racist & homophobic designs and agreed that someone who drew that material was someone they wanted to align themselves with.

And remember, this is the second time the penumbra podcast has worked with an artist with blatantly bigoted art (the first being tumblr user disasterscenario) and i remember plenty of people explaining exactly what was wrong with that art as well. Whatever chance you think they have to learn and improve—they had it! And in response, this is what they gave us

#ask #the penumbra podcast #tpp #This definitely isn’t all i could say but hopefully it’s enough #Like i barely went into the citadel designs but a white person should definitely not be making a monkey girl brown #note: some of this has been edited for phrasing & etc #also #i didnt explain a part well & it wasnt actually super relevant so i deleted it

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yellowbluemoonshine · 2 years

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What do you think about Bakugou's redemtion arc, if I'm honest I dislike it not because I don't want Bakugou changes but because Horikoshi didn't do a good job. I don't say Horikoshi is a bad writer but when it comes to Bakugou, he just another fan and leaves this ruins the plot. During all the manga we see that actions have consequences if a character makes a mistake later that mistake comes to bit his or her ass. For example, we have Shoto and Inasa, Shoto gave him a bad impression and later that costs him his license, Izuku called Shoto a kind person but Natsuo heard that, the plot is always punished the characters for their mistakes but with Bakugou this never happend, Bakugou is everything that a heroe shouldn't be but people still praise him, he is violent and mistreat his classmates but he is still popular. So, I can't see how his arc is well written when his actions are ignore or dismiss. Besides, at this point I wonder what is Bakugou's role in the manga, what is his rol? Like a character he doesn't have nothing for himself, he doesn't have a villian and his motives for being a heroe are generic.

I know Horikoshi says that Bakugou's going to have a big moment but at this point I don't care for his character because he doesn't add nothing to the plot.

Hi, anon. I made analysis about Bakugou's redemption before (in here, here and here or other posts.) and since then, my thoughts about him still didnt change.

Its obvious that Bakugou gain more self awareness and act more sensitive compared to beginning but thats it.

I dislike the way author handled his character arc. 'Bakugou do mean things but he is not actually bad guy, yknow. He is amazing!'. This is not well written redemption arc, this is not good character development. This is not 'his wrong actions are adressed' sitution. This is what we call 'justifying someone's wrong actions'. And thats what happens during the whole story.

And someone actually facing their wrong actions doesnt mean 'sometimes being calm and self aware', thats what every abuser/bully do. They dont always jerk to you. They will have good days, calm days, they will be in good mood and be even nice to you and you are supposed to feel gratefull about it? Sounds like Bakudeku relationship.

Someone actually facing their wrong actions means never repeat the same awfull behavour. Actually spendin a lot of time to think about it, about how he treat other people, all those moments. Of course, change is hard and there will be times where you can easiely repeat same mistakes, ok but where is the guilty? Because i dont think he has much.

And one of the most important with redemption arcs. Actually facing consequences of your actions. This is not someone necessarely dying or getting hurted. This is just 'ah i did this, thats why this happenned' moment and again, this never happens with Bakugou. Him getting hurt in war or being kidnapped has nothing to do with bullying. Those things are still consequences of his actions but it has nothing to do with bullying.

What could've happenned? It would be so cool to see Bakugou was defeated by villain who used to be one os the people whom bakugou hurted and eventually, Bakugou realized that he should save that person cause he is also responsible for him becoming villain. But again, it doesnt happen.

Almost all Bakugou-Deku's 'lets face moments' are all about Bakugou, his feelings, his thoughts. Deku just listens, endure and try to help him. Even when Deku talks, Bakugou doesnt properly listen to him at all. And Deku's constantly reacing out to him, victimizing Bakugou, justify his actions, trying to 'fix' him, it sounds like a typical toxic relationship. Not some kind of redemption arc.

I mentioned before in my many analysis (for example; in here, here and here.) that i am completely okay with empathy, change or/and forgiveness. As long as person actually make effort for it, actually desire to change, they definitely deserve it. Its okay their victims forgive them and of course they can move on life. I definitely dont desire to anyone suffer forever, people deserve to move on but i am also tired of waiting Bakugou's getting that point.

Bakugou's whole character arc isnt really about changing and being better, its mostly about justifying his abusive/wrong actions since day one. And i am sick of pretending its not. This is what narrative/author do and i really dont know how many people think its not. Look if things ever change, i am ready to change my opinion but i heard that story will end soon so again, i dont have much hope about it. All author did seems like he is trying to make us like/accept Bakugou and forcing his redemption arc on us while there is not a sign of good redemption arc at all. And this is so tiring and i am sick of it.

Thats what i think about it.

#anon ask #bnha #mha meta #bnha analysis #redemption arcs #bakugou katsuki #tw abuse #bullying #bnha critical #midoriya izuku #anti bakudeku #bad writing

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makeste · 4 years

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“...and I bullied him.”

hello, hello, good afternoon or evening or whatever time it is. so by now we’ve all had some time to bask in those “Kacchan admitted he cares about Deku” feels (well, technically they were “All Might pointed out that Kacchan was worried about Deku and Kacchan didn’t deny it” feels, BUT THOSE MIGHT AS WELL BE THE SAME FEELS, YOU KNOW). and it’s been lovely. I’ve been having a time. it’s been nice.

but now I would like to talk a bit more about a part of this chapter which I think was even more important.

for me, this was the line of the chapter. this one panel may honestly be the biggest piece of Kacchan character development since all the way back in chapter 120. “I ended up bullying him.” okay but guys?? can we just talk?? about how absolutely extraordinary this one sentence is.

it’s self-aware.

introspection? from a kid who’s had to be dragged kicking and screaming to every character development milestone he’s ever experienced in his life? and on an emotional level that actually goes deeper, and doesn’t just stop at the surface-level anger that’s so often his instinctive reaction to everything? who are you and what have you done with Bakugou Katsuki lol.

but seriously, the level of self-analysis here almost stunned me, guys. not only does he demonstrate a very impressive level of insight into Deku (something I especially love because it mirrors the many analyses Deku has made of him, and shows that the understanding between them is actually mutual), but he also shows an unprecedented degree of insight into himself. like, historically speaking, Bakugou and Feelings have not always exactly been on the same page, you know? so for him to suddenly get so thoughtful now, and sincerely try to analyze these feelings which up until now he’s always ignored and avoided dealing with... that is such a huge step. also, bonus points: he recognizes it as a problem within himself, and doesn’t try to pin the blame on Deku in any way. he recognizes that he’s the one who reacted badly to Deku’s behavior. to be able to examine your own feelings like that and arrive at a conclusion that acknowledges that you’re not the good guy in this, that you’re the one who made the mistake -- that takes a level of accountability that not everyone possesses.

it’s self-prompted.

okay this one is a big deal honestly. no one put a gun to Katsuki’s head here and forced him to confess this. all All Might said was “you’re worried about him too” and that somehow prompted a level of emotional honesty that Katsuki has never before shown. now, based on the fact that the successors’ notebook is still fresh in Katsuki’s mind, and that All Might mentioned earlier that Aizawa couldn’t help because he was “busy at the moment”, this conversation likely took place shortly after the kids returned from their New Year’s break. meaning that this was basically right after the Endeavor internship arc, when thoughts about seeking atonement were still fresh on Katsuki’s mind. so this isn’t entirely out of the blue; it shows that Katsuki did, in fact, learn exactly what All Might was hoping he would learn from Endeavor.

but it’s one thing for this to be on his mind, and another thing entirely for him to actually confess it out loud. and I absolutely will give him full credit for that. he admits, without anyone forcing him to, that he bullied Deku. there’s no incentive for him to do this whatsoever. Deku isn’t there to hear it. he’s not admitting it for the purposes of seeking forgiveness. he’s simply just being honest, and owning up to what he did because he realizes it was wrong. and that takes a lot of inner strength, to do that. to not shy away from it and keep pretending like it never happened. this is a huge first step for him.

it’s a confession that leaves him emotionally vulnerable.

this is another big one. it’s not always evident because he makes a big effort to downplay it, but Katsuki looks up to All Might every bit as much as Deku does. he seeks his approval, he wants All Might to be proud of him, even though he very often puts on a big show of not caring about it at all. it means a lot to him. a lot.

and Katsuki knows how much All Might cares about Deku. and sure, All Might is already perfectly aware that Katsuki and Deku aren’t exactly on the best of terms, and he’s always been understanding about it; always gently compassionate and attempting to smooth things out between them without being judgmental.

but All Might also doesn’t know everything about the two of them. and even with Kacchan and Deku’s relationship never exactly being on the most rock solid of terms at U.A., there’s still a vast difference between the way they interact there, and the way that they interacted back in middle school. when Katsuki was not only hostile, but occasionally downright cruel. and when Deku was still quirkless, and very much not on equal footing with Kacchan in terms of power, and yet Kacchan bullied him anyway.

what Katsuki is confessing here puts him at risk of rejection from one of the people whose opinion of him matters the most. he’s opening himself up to the possibility that All Might might not, for once, react with his trademark understanding. he’s admitting to All Might, I did something unherolike, and I hurt someone you care about, and I didn’t have a good reason for doing it. All Might, in the moment immediately following this statement, has an incredible amount of power over Katsuki. he has the ability to withdraw his support, to condemn him, to pull away and decide that Katsuki is not someone worthy of becoming a hero after all. he has all the power in the world over Katsuki in this one moment; a rejection from him would be a blow he’d never recover from.

and Katsuki, knowing this, tells him anyway. willingly opens himself up to that possibility of being hurt, of being rejected and shunned by the person who inspired his dream. because the alternative is being dishonest with him. this is, in short, a decision made because he believes All Might deserves to know this, and deserves to hear the truth from him. he wants his approval so badly, but he can’t live with the knowledge that he’s “tricked” him into giving it. so he tells him the truth, ready to face whatever consequences might arise from that. and I think that might be one of the bravest things he’s ever done.

it’s not attempting to shirk responsibility.

this, right here, is why Katsuki is my favorite character. because even though he’s flawed, even though he’s made a lot of mistakes, when he realizes that and is confronted by it, he never tries to hide from them. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: to me, the essence of Katsuki is that he is someone who is always trying to be better. he wants to be a good hero; he wants to be a good person. when people point out to him that he’s done something wrong, he listens. it doesn’t always sink in right away, sure, and sometimes he gets stubborn and it can be hard to hammer that truth in. but once he gets it, he always makes the change. he never tries to make excuses. he owns up to his shit and does his best to course correct.

with this acknowledgement here, that he bullied Deku, there’s no attempt on his part to say that it was Deku’s fault, that Deku shouldn’t have done this or that. he doesn’t blame his parents or his teachers or try to act like he didn’t know any better. he makes no attempt whatsoever to justify it. it’s just simple, honest truth. back then, I ignored my own weakness, so I ended up bullying him. it’s a plea of guilt. no attempt to mitigate it or downplay it. the verb he uses, “ijimeta”, doesn’t water it down.

“to ill-treat; to torment; to be cruel to.” there’s no attempt here to paint this in a flattering light at all. which is good. because in order for him to really atone for it, to really go the distance in his redemption arc which we’re all rooting for him to do, the most important step is for him to take responsibility. he can’t learn from it if he’s trying to hide from it or make excuses for what he did wrong. he has to fully acknowledge his mistakes. and that’s exactly what this is.

it shows remorse.

that’s right y’all. they sent my boy out to do an internship with Endeavor over the holidays, and he came back having learned the true meaning of Christmas. his heart really did grow three sizes. honey badger does care.

there is genuine, sincere remorse for his actions here. he’s sorry for what he did. he regrets what he did. there’s real contrition there. it’s not forced or insincere. again, nobody made him say this! nobody pressured him, nobody led him on. these are his own feelings. I bullied Deku. I shouldn’t have done that to him. I want to atone for it.

I know some people in fandom don’t think this is enough. the same thing happened with Endeavor as well. people aren’t always satisfied with restorative justice; they want retribution. they want punishment for his actions. and that’s a natural feeling; it stems back to that instinct of wanting everything to be fair, which I mentioned in another meta not too long ago.

but the thing is, retributive, punitive justice doesn’t actually help anyone. it doesn’t restore what was lost. Katsuki being punished doesn’t do anything to undo what was done to Deku. it doesn’t do anything to heal the harm that was dealt. it doesn’t do anything to make things better for either of them moving forward.

but do you know what does? restorative justice. making amends. which is exactly what this is building up to now.

it shows an understanding that remorse is not enough, and that in order to move forward he has to take action to be a better person.

Katsuki understands that simply being sorry for what he did is not enough. I suspect that’s one reason why he hasn’t attempted to apologize to Deku yet; because he recognizes that after years of tormenting him for stupid and self-centered reasons, a simple apology might seem meaningless at best and self-serving at worst. it puts pressure on Deku to make a decision to either accept or not accept it. Katsuki saw the Todoroki siblings struggling with a similar conflict not too long ago. and he knows better than anyone else how selfless Deku can be. “deep down, he doesn’t take himself into account, y’know?” and so if Katsuki simply apologizes, Deku might end up offering forgiveness that he doesn’t actually deserve, just because Deku is that kind of person who puts others above himself.

and so rather, what Katsuki has opted to do for now is to put all his efforts into helping Deku. he knows Deku is in a considerable amount of danger. he knows how much Deku has on his plate with the SIXQUIRKS and trying to handle all of that. and he knows there are other potential dangers looming which they don’t even know about yet. he’s been alert and anxious about this -- you saw how quickly his mind leaped to worst-case scenarios about the past OFA users; how he was sure that All Might was hiding something from them, and how agitated and apprehensive he got thinking about what that might be.

“I’m worried for him. you are, too,” All Might said. and Katsuki didn’t deny it. didn’t even try. he is worried about Deku. he’s worried about what he has to face. he’s worried about him getting in over his head and something happening to him. and so the way that he has chosen to try and atone is to help him. with his training, with his quirks; whatever he can do. if he needs to push him he’ll push him. whatever he can do to help make him stronger. and if he needs to protect him, he’ll do that too.

atonement is not the same thing as forgiveness. atonement is about trying to make up for what you did, to try and correct your mistakes however you can. it doesn’t mean you’re pardoned from them. all it means is that you’ve acknowledged them, and are doing your best -- doing whatever you can -- to repair the harm done, and to be a better person going forward. and sometimes there is no way to ever completely make up for it. sometimes you can’t undo the harm, because you can’t go back and change the past. the only thing you can change is the now, and the future.

and so Katsuki is trying to atone. he’s trying to be the friend Deku deserves now, since he wasn’t before. he’s trying his best to make things right, and it all starts with this one sentence. that acknowledgement of what he did, of what can’t be changed. acknowledgement of the mistake, so that he can learn from it, so that it never happens again.

so yeah. BnHA Redemption Arcs strike again. Horikoshi you smooth son of a bitch.

#bnha 284 #bakugou katsuki #all might #midoriya izuku #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakugou meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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anarmorofwords · 3 years

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Hi! You're probably not going to like this ask, but before getting into it I'd just like to say that this isn't meant as Kamala hate or anything, and I don't really want to offend.

Having said that, wouldn't it make sense that we get to see how Kamala treated Anna after she came out? It's in all likelihood one of the things that's weighing on Anna the most.

Obviously Kamala had her valid reasons: her parents aren't as liberal as the Lightwoods, she believes (knows?) their love is conditional as she's adopted, she's not white and not being heterosexual could further any treatment she's suffered from being different... Her reasons have already been listed multiple times by multiple people. Kamala has the right to stay in the closet and fear coming out. And while that shouldn't be villianised, we can't forget that closeted people can harm those around them.

If Kamala had kept treating Anna like a good friend, rumour would've sparked, and even if it was denied, she'd have been harmed by merely associating with Anna. Especially with the life Anna began leading; she could have been labelled as one of Anna's 'conquests' by the Clave. That, as we've established, is detrimental for her safety.

But at the same time, it would create a breach between Anna and Kamala. And Anna had the right to be hurt by it and weary of it when Kamala said she wanted a relationship.

If we look at it from that perspective, Anna's actions (though inexcusable in how they treated Kamala --who was also at fault for not accepting a negative for four months) make sense. Kamala wasn't only a fling of a week*, but also the girl she lost her virginity with, who asked her to be her secret (until she married Charles, after which Anna's affections would be discarded), who hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna suffered from homophobic commentary, and who now wants a relationship hidden from most of the people that know her.

Kamala shouldn't be forced to come out; but the harm that can do to the women she may engage with is reflective of what happens nowadays. I can mostly think of examples with gay men, so my apologies in advance. But how many women have seen their marriages ruined by their husband having affairs with men?

Creating characters that reflect a toxic part of the 'hidden' LGBT community shouldn't be seen as hating or villinifying. Thomas isn't out and he isn't labelled a villain by the narrative --because his actions don't harm anyone. The hate Alastair gets in-universe is because of his past as a bully, not because he's gay. Matthew's not fully out and he isn't villianised --like Thomas, because the decisions he makes to keep his sexuality hidden don't impact anyone negatively.

I'll even go as far as saying that not even the narrative villianises characters like Kamala and Charles. If it were, they'd be seen more like Grace in Chain of Gold. We'd see how Kamala's actions are affecting Anna's in more ways than anger (that in itself put the fandom against Anna), and the characters would note so. We wouldn't see scenes were Cordelia empathised with Charles, nor Matthew said he loved him.

Be it as it may, Kamala and Charles represent ugly parts of being closeted that can naturally occur when someone is in their position. LGBT people are human. Humans, when put into very difficult situations (and Charles risks his career; Kamala her safety), can make decisions that harm those around them. Consequently, the people they're harming have a right to feel, well, harmed in whatever range of ways --this goes mostly for Alastair, and very partly for Anna, whose treatment of Kamala was horrible.

Readers need to understand what is pushing these 'villianised' characters to harm (again, mostly for Alastair) the more prominent characters and go beyond how they are instantly depicted. Because these are complex characters based on complex real people influenced by very ugly realities we will move on from someday, but sadly not yet.

By the way, Charles and Kamala's situations aren't that similar beyond the closeted thing, but I crammed them together because of a post I saw you reblog.

Please understand I'm not justifying Charles's actions; that I understand the pain he's put Alastair through, and know that he shouldn't ever be near Alastair. Nor am I trying to justify Anna's actions nor hate on Kamala.

I'll just finish my pointless rant by adding that I do think cc has sensitivity readers. I think she asked a gay man to go through tec (I don't know if he still revised her other books, though), and know she asked POC's input when writing someone for their culture. I don't know much beyond that, but I doubt who revises her stuff is up to her. Wouldn't that be something the publisher is responsible for (honest question)?

*I've also noticed people using the argument that they didn't know each other long enough for Anna to harbour such ugly emotions towards Kamala, but Kamala also remembered Anna pretty deeply and is 'in love' with her. I just wanted to say that considering cc writes (fantastical) romance where someone can ask a woman they met two months ago marriage, stressing over time spaces doesn't make much sense. Just my take.

hi!!

alright, where do I start? probably would be best with stating that while I can analyse Kamala's situation with what I know/see/read about racism and discrimination and reasonably apply things I've read/heard from PoC to the discussion, as well as try to be as sensitive about it as possible, I'm still a white woman, so not a person that's best qualified to talk about this.

that being said - if someone wants to add something to this conversation, you're obviously more than welcome to, and if there's something in my answer that you don't agree with or find in some way insensitive or offensive - please don't hesitate to call me out on that.

back to your points though: (this turned into a whole ass essay, so under the cut)

I don't think Anna shouldn't be able to reminiscent on Kamala's behaviour/reaction to her coming out, or be hurt by it. what bothers me is the way CC talks about it - I can't remember the exact phrasing, but the post where she mentioned this suggested something along the lines of "you'll see how Kamala sided with the Clave and didn't defend Anna after her coming out", therefore putting the blame on Kamala and completely disregarding the fact that Kamala wasn't in position to do much at all. It suggest that their situation was "poor Anna being mistreated by Kamala". therefore I'm afraid Kamanna's main problem/conflict will remain to be portrayed as "Anna having to allow themselves to love again and forgive Kamala", while Anna's shortcomings - and Kamala's vulnerable position - are never discussed. I think it would be possible to acknowledge both Kamala's difficult situation and the possible hurt her behaviour caused Anna without being insensitive towards Kamala's character, but it would take a really skilled - and caring - author to do both of the perspectives justice. CC would have to find a balance between being aware of the racism/prejudice Kamala faced/ writing her with lots of awareness and empathy, and still allowing her to make mistakes and acknowledging them. As it is however, I'm under impression that she's just treating it as a plot device, a relationship drama.

I'd say no one expects characters of color to be written as flawless or never making mistakes, it's mostly the way these mistakes are written and what things these characters are judged/shamed/

And that's - at least in my understanding and opinion - where the problem is. it's that the narrative never even addresses Anna's faults, and portrays Kamala as the one that caused all - or most of - the pain, without ever even acknowledging her problems and background.

White characters in TLH make mistakes and fuck up - because they're human and they're absolutely allowed to - but the thing is, non-white characters aren't afforded that privilege. Anna's behaviour is never questioned - none of it, shaming Kamala for not being able to come out, dismissing her desire to be a mother, or any of the questionable things she did in ChoI. Same with Matthew, James, Thomas. Alastair and Kamala however? they're constantly viewed through their past mistakes, and forced to apologize for them over and over, forced to almost beg for forgiveness. Moreover, those past mistakes are used as a justification of all and any shitty behaviour the other characters exhibit towards them now, which is simply unfair and cruel. They're held to a much higher standard.

So I'd like to say that yes, Kamala was in the wrong to keep nagging Anna after numerous rejections, and she was in the wrong to not inform Anna about Charles prior to them having sex - but that doesn't give Anna a free pass to constantly mistreat Kamala. And let's be real, Anna isn't stupid - while at 17 she could be naive and uninformed, I can't imagine how after years of hanging out with the Downworlders and numerous affairs and being out and judged by the Clave she's still so ignorant about Kamala's situation. I definitely think she's allowed to be hurt, but to still not understand why Kamala did what she did? Anna isn't blaming her for not telling her about Charles earlier - which would be fair - but instead for refusing to engage in an outright romance with her. She's being ignorant - and consciously so, I think.

Overall, I think you're definitely right about how coming out - or staying closeted - can be messy and hurt people in the process, especially in unaccepting environments/time periods, and I've seen enough discourse online to know there will never be a verdict/stance on this that will satisfy everyone. I, for one, would really like to refrain from putting all the blame on a single person - but, at least the way I see it, CC is pointing fingers. maybe not directly, but she is. Kamala, Alastair and Charles have no friends or support systems, and the only people in the narrative that defend them are themselves (ok, Cordelia does defend Alastair from Charles, but not from shitty takes about him and his "sins"). Also, sorry, but I don't like how you say "hid her sexuality for two years and sat back while Anna experienced homophobic comments" - it sounds very much judgemental. Kamala had every right to do that? The fact that she slept with Anna doesn't means she owed her something, and certainly not coming out and most probably destroying her life, or even defending her at the - again - expense of her own reputation, or more possibly safety.

As for Charles - it's a different issue here, at least imo - I fear that it'll be implied that his refusing to come out will is his main "sin", and therefore not something he can be judged for, which ironically, will be villainizing, but mostly will mean his actual sins are dismissed. This is where the scene with Cordelia feeling a pang of sympathy for him comes into play, and it worries me. I've never hated Charles for not wanting to come out, but rather for, let's see - grooming Alastair, disregarding Alastair's needs and feelings, disrespecting his mother, being a sexist prick, being low-key far-right coded "make Shadowhunters great again" etc.

As for sensitivity readers - I'm no expert, so I don't think my input is worth much. From what I've gathered from multiple threads/discussions on twitter, tho it is probably consulted/approved by the publisher, many authors push for that - and authors less famous and "powerful" than her. I'm not a hater, but seeing fandoms' opinions on much of her rep, I think she could do better. Because if she does have sensitivity readers, then they don't seem to be doing a great job - maybe they're friends who don't wanna hurt her feelings? Or maybe she thinks a gay guy's feedback will be enough for any queer content - which, judging by the opinions I've seen from the fans, doesn't seem to be true.

Again, these are mostly my thoughts and I'm more than open to reading other opinions, because *sigh* I really don't know how to handle this.

Bottom line - I really really don't want to be hating on the characters in general, playing God in regards to judging the struggles of minorities, or even criticising the characters too harshly for being human, flawed etc. What my main issue is is how CC handles those complex and heavy topics.

I hope I make sense and this answer satisfies you somehow - I also hope someone better equipped to answer might wanna join this conversation.

* I desperately need a reread of TLH before I engage in any more conversations like this, but I didn't wanna leave you hanging. So yeah, I might be remembering things wrong. Again, let me know, I'm very much open to being corrected as well as to further discussion.

* I use she/her pronouns for Anna because that's what she uses in canon

#the last hours #tlh #alastair carstairs #shadowhunters #the shadowhunter chronicles #anti charles fairchild #is this anti anna?#kamala joshi #ariadne bridgestock #chain of iron #chain of gold #spilling the tea

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natsukitakama · 3 years

Text

Headcanon : Reader being nice to Floch even though he is jerk

Request : Well since Floch seem to be a type of guy who criticize people then how about he criticize s/o as well but instead of her getting offensive, she actually thank him for being honest since she’s a type of person who’s okay with criticism and also want the truth since some people usually don’t do it because they’ll feel bad that they know it’ll hurt people and that s/o is also a type of person who sees good on everyone including Floch even tho he seem like a jerk guy she still sees good on him and really curious in how would he react 👀

Author note : Hi there I’m sorry for taking so long, I needed some time of my own hope you’ll understand. I found your request quite interesting considering this part of his personality isn’t the most attractive. But still it’s part of who he is. Anyway hope you’ll enjoy this (to be honest I struggled to finish it lmao also yeah I'm trying a new way to present my post one day I'll be satisfied)

Update : Because I got so much fun writing his reaction from a reader who is thanking him for his opinion while he was harsh on them. In this headcanon, they started as companion but then it would be imply that both of them are together or at least something is happening. Hope you’re fine with that.

Warning : Cursing / Floch being a mean / mention of something that happened in season 3 but its vague

Disclaimer : Not because I’m writing about Floch means I understand what’s he done, I won’t accept his action but I still believe he wasn’t developed enough. I won’t accept any criticism because my anon asked for Floch or because I write for him. If you don’t like it then do not read it ♡

I got a headcanon that look like this so see this as the other version ♡

Masterlist

The way you seemed to always accept every criticism never felt to amaze Floch. No matter who criticizes you, you’re always acting like it wasn’t a big deal. Worst he even noticed that you were glad to be critized. His first thought when he discovered that you were taking different opinion with a smile was something like « what the fuck ? »

How could you take negative though that easily ? What was your secret ?

For weeks he strongly believed that you were acting tough but when you were alone, you were crying over each word you’ve been hit on.

He wouldn’t be surprised I mean, everyone hates being criticized it’s part of our nature.

But you weren’t like this, after weeks of believing you were a liar at pretending that critics didn’t affect you, he then discovered that in fact you were taking it with serenity.

« It would help me to be a better a person » you once said to him

He didn’t get it. Like who do you think you are ?

Why aren’t you acting like Eren or Jean ? Why weren’t you angry at him ? Worst, why weren’t you defending yourself ? What was wrong with you ?

The fact that you were smiling everytime he was mean to you was getting on his nerve. For fuck sake could you at least yell at him ? At least he’ll know you were human.

He didn’t why but seeing you smiling at him, thanking him for his negative opinion got his sick. He could feel his stomach twisted as if he could throw because of your sympathy. Did you pity him ?

He even once heard a conversation between you, Eren and his crew that makes him even more sick :

« You know, you shouldn’t let him talk to you the way he did. This isn’t respectful. »

« Eren is right, want me to teach him some manners ? If it’s for you i’ll do it »

« *chuckle* Thank you Mikasa but I don’t think it would be necessary. I mean yeah he got a way to say things - »

« He is talking to you like you were shit »

« I wouldn’t say it like this Eren but yeah you got a point. Y/N I know you saw good in everyone but you have to admit that recently he is being mean to you »

« *sigh* As I was trying to say, yeah he is being mean with me but his opinion was actually good. I mean yeah I’ve been too slow during our training and yes I shouldn’t forgot to pack some gas with us. My point is he was right, he just got a way to talk to people »

« Come on everyone makes mistake and it wasn’t like HE thought about taking Gas bottle too. He got some balls to says that »

« Eren is right Y/N. »

« But he was still right. I mean he forgot but I forgot too, if no one is meticulous in real battle it could be dangerous. Besides he is not as mean as everyone thinks. I can see it, there is good in him »

« Well he is doing a good job at hiding it. Remembered how he talked to Armin when he woke up ? That piss of sh- »

« *sigh* Yeah he shouldn’t say it the way he did but you need to understand his point too. He was all alone with his friends and his commander which he used to worship by the way, he had to run with his friends knowing he would die either from stone or because he’ll be eaten by a Titan. For him Erwin was a hero, of course his first reaction was to want him to survive. Caporal Levi did it too, he wanted Erwin to survive he only have the injection because Erwin told him too. »

« Maybe. But I still believe this man has no education »

« *chuckle* you used to be a little shit too when you first came, acting all cocky because you were about to kill titans but everyone looked through it and now we all love our precious angry soldier »

Eren then proceed to grumble something about not being angry while everyone was laughing. How could you say that ? Why were you protecting him ? Did he ask you to protect him ? No ? Then why are you seeing all those things at him ? Why were you saying that he got a point when all he did was telling you how shitty you were. He was bullying you why were you nice to him ?

The worst when he started to have a crush on you. Was he a sadist or something ? Why was he looking at you everytime you were training ? Why was he offended when someone compliment you ? You’re just in love bitch

Did he stop being mean at you ? No not at all, it would be out of character for him. BUT he started to be « gentle » about the way he critices you. For example he won’t told you that you suck at being a soldier because you were starting to feel tired because of the training instead he would scold you for not sleeping enough.

See ? He still gives you critics and some time he is a bit harsh but now you’ve noticed (even though you already did) that he was actually carrying about you.

So you started to thank him even more for his kind word, which disgust him. Why were you thanking him anyway ?

At some point he stopped trying to figure out if you were a masochist or just silly, he keeps scolding you everytime you did something wrong and he just shrugs each time you were thanking him.

But then you started to defend him even more, you weren’t just trying to justify his action by analyzing his behavior.

Now you were arguing with people who were telling some shit about him which surprised him. Why do you care ? He didn’t give a damn about some fools’ opinion nor should you.

But here you were explaining your point, trying to make them understand that no he wasn’t just a jerk and there were something more important to get to know. He froze.

« Come on Y/N don’t fool yourself Floch is a jerk have you seen him ? All he cares is himself. He is so fool of himself. Did you notice the way he is talking to you ? How could you defend someone like him ? »

« Because he cares about him and because I care about him too. You asked if I noticed the way he was talking to me, I did. He stopped being mean at me, and started to give me advice to help me during my training. He noticed my lack of stamina and told me to practice and sleep better. He scold be for always forgetting something and now I’m careful. All he need was to help me, how am I supposed to avoid fight when you’re clearly misunderstanding him. He is someone good, you just need to get to know him »

This time instead of feeling sick, he felt a little warm running into his body especially on his face. He felt … good ? He couldn’t explain it but yeah he felt right to hear you saying this even though he still didn’t understand why you were like this while you two barely talk together.

He wanted to confront you about.

Especially because he started to dream about you even more than before. That scene when you were defending him was keeping playing in his head, again and again. At this point you were always on his dream. Not that he will complain but he felt silly to be like this, like to him they were no way you were into him.

So one day when you two were cleaning the training room, Floch decided it was now or never. So after closing the door to be in « peace », he walked into your direction. Step by step he noticed that he got trouble at taking a deep breath probably because he was scared or anxious.

When he finally was in front of you, you noticed his frown and started to ask yourself what was wrong with him. He wasn’t so anxious, usually he came talk to you all cocky to correct you but now it was as if he was talking to Caporal Levi.

« Are you okay ? »

« Of course I am why wouldn’t I ? »

« I don’t know you look like tense. Did I do something wrong ? »

« Obviously yeah. I mean you’re always doing something wrong but that’s not why I’m here »

« Oh yeah ? »

« Yeah. »

« Then ? »

« Then what ? »

« Why are you here ? If you’re not here to scold me »

« I wanted to know why you’re acting so nice »

« I’m acting nice ? »

« Yeah don’t play dumb to me. I heard you talking with Eren and that bunch of shitty friends also I saw you with those stupid soldiers talking dirty about me. Why were you defending me ? »

« Why not ? I mean they are not angel either so I don’t see the point of being mean »

« But i’am »

« Excuse me ? »

« You said there’s no point of being mean about someone but I’m mean. Especially with you I remember correctly telling you that you being a soldier was a shame for humanity »

« Yeah that wasn’t nice by the way »

« See ? You’re smiling ! Why is wrong with you ? »

« What ? Because I can’t smile ? »

« No ! Not when I’m being mean at you that completely strange »

« Well then I’m a weirdo I guess »

« Okay I’m done I knew I couldn’t get anything from you »

« I’m sorry but I don’t see what’s wrong with my behavior ? »

« You can’t smile when someone is saying bad things about you »

« Why not ? You’re being honest. »

« But it’s mean »

« Yeah and ? At least you’re not trying to be nice with me when in fact you can’t stand me. I hate hypocrite I prefer when people are honest with me. Besides as I said before your critics were interesting it helps me getting better so I don’t see why I would be mad at me »

« I don’t get it I’m sorry, even if it helps you. You could at least slap me for being mean at you »

« Do you want me to spank you Floch ? »

« I- I say slap me and not like this I-I oh my god I can’t »

« *laugh* but you’re the one talking about slapping I’m sorry I didn’t know it was your thing I’ll take it in mind »

« YOU … Wait are you making fun of me ? »

« Maybe ? »

Then you just laugh and finish your duty, leaving a completely frozen Floch.

You’re kinda broke him, he didn’t know how to behave with you anymore.

Should he be glad because you’re not angry at him for being a jerk ? Or should he be concerned because you figure out something he didn’t want to admit ?

Again, he started to be less a jerk around you. But you noticed that it worked only for you. Floch was still… Floch around other people. He just tends to be soft with you, he stopped scolding you and in fact correct you each time you were doing a wrong move. And when you were loosing or forgetting something, he just gave you what you needed without complaining.

People were surprised, like they weren’t used to see Floch not acting like a jerk. They also didn’t understand why you weren’t treated like everyone else. Some of them got their theory but for now all they could notice was Floch not being as mean as usual with you while you were acting nice with him. For both of you that’s all matter

#request #attack on titan #attack on titans #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #Floch Forster #Floch x reader #floch forster x reader #aot x reader #snk x reader #Eren Jaeger #Floch x y/n #Floch x t/p #aot Floch #snk Floch

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melanielocke · 3 years

Text

Love will tie the Tourniquet

After some very valid criticism of the Sanctuary scene and the very limited canon Thomastair content I figured I’d write a scene where they talk it out and Thomas apologizes. I wrote this rather quickly and didn’t edit much so sorry for any mistakes.

Title is from “Tourniquet” by Breaking Benjamin which is definitely an Alastair song (although I find the lyrics difficult to interpret). I think it’s from the POV of someone who is struggling with something and realize love won’t fix them, but also believe nothing will. Love will tie the tourniquet and suffocate me.

CW for period typical racism and homophobia, implied PTSD, mentions of bullying

Alastair was surprised to hear someone knock on the door. His mother was still on bedrest and wouldn’t be receiving any visitors and certainly no one would want to see him. He opened the door to see Thomas Lightwood in the door, hatless as always, snow had fallen in his hair. Even covered in snow Thomas was a beautiful sight to behold. Alastair tried to stop staring, but wasn’t quite sure how. Why was he here, after everything? Alastair had taken his time to think through what happened, but had arrived at the same conclusion, it was impossible. In retrospect, he wasn’t even sure Thomas liked him that much. Like Charles, he probably just saw someone who could fulfill his needs. After all, Thomas had seemed quite disappointed when Alastair had refused to take things any further than kissing in the Sanctuary.

‘Good afternoon,’ Thomas said awkwardly after a silence. ‘Can I come in? I… I thought we should talk.’

A bit hesitant, Alastair let him in and took his coat. He asked Risa to make them some tea, and brought Thomas into the parlor.

‘What did you want to talk about?’ Alastair asked.

‘I wanted to apologize,’ Thomas said.

Alastair frowned. ‘Why? You have nothing to apologize for.’

‘I do,’ Thomas said. ‘I was angry with you because of that rumor, but that gave me no right to publicly humiliate you. I treated you terribly, and you didn’t deserve that.’

Alastair wasn’t sure what to make of this. It had hurt, badly, the way Thomas had spoken to him, but he’d told himself over and over again that this what he deserved.

‘Didn’t I?’ Alastair asked. ‘I was awful at school, perhaps less so to you, but still. I can’t imagine why you’d even want to be around me.’

‘Because I forgive you,’ Thomas said.

Alastair stared at him, eyes wide. He tried to hold back the tears, but wasn’t sure he could.

‘Why? Why would you forgive me? I thought you hated me.’

Thomas looked confused. ‘After the Sanctuary? After we kissed?’

Alastair sighed. ‘Charles kissed me many times, we did more than that, and he didn’t love me. He just thought I was convenient and I could fulfill his needs.’

It had been mostly about sex with Charles, and it had taken him so long to realize that it didn’t have to be like that. He’d given Charles everything he could, hoping that perhaps someday he’d receive love and affection back.

Thomas’ mouth fell open. ‘You… you thought I would be like that? That I only wanted you for physical intimacy? Why would you think that?’

‘What else was I supposed to think?’ Alastair snapped, trying but failing to hold back the tears. ‘You wanted to kiss me only moments after you said I deserved to be hated. And because I wanted you, because I love you, I gave in. You wanted to keep me a secret, you were ashamed of liking me, so ashamed you couldn’t tell anyone, not even people who would not mind that you liked men. Just like Charles.’

I couldn’t have told them how I felt about you. Thomas’ words echoed in his head, and it was worse than Charles being ashamed of liking men. At least he understood Charles’ fears, even when it did not justify how badly Charles had treated him.

‘I never meant… I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry, and I said some stupid things. But I don’t want to keep you secret. There were so many things I should have said to you then, and I’m sorry I messed it up so badly. You do not deserve to be hated and I should never have said otherwise.’

Alastair wasn’t sure how much more he could take. He was desperate for affection, always had been, that was why he’d given so much to Charles, but how could he be sure Thomas wasn’t going to be the same?

‘Why not? Did I not cause you and your family terrible pain?’

Alastair was crying now and to his surprise Thomas came to sat down next to him, awkwardly putting his hands around him. Alastair pushed him away.

‘Please… please don’t.’

Thomas backed away as if he’d been burnt.

‘Physical affection isn’t easy,’ Alastair tried to explain.

He wasn’t used to hugging or even being touched at all in a non sexual way. Cordelia tried often to show her affection physically and he was grateful, but it just didn’t always work for him. Sometimes a touch could burn, be so overwhelming he only got worse.

‘What do you need?’ Thomas asked. ‘How can I help?’

‘Just keep talking,’ Alastair said. ‘Please. Tell me how you really feel. Be honest with me. If you… If you don’t really love me, it’s alright. I just need to know. Because I don’t understand anymore. Do I deserve to be hated? To be loved? I don’t get it.’

Thomas hesitated. ‘I was wrong. I was grieving and I was pushing these feelings away and I took it all out on you. But that was no excuse. You do not deserve to be hated, not when you regret what you did so much, and you do not deserve to be treated the way we… the way I treated you. And I’m so sorry. I think I do love you, I just never knew what to do with those feelings so I hid them. But I’m not going to hide anymore. I’m not ashamed of loving you.’

Alastair wiped the tears from his eyes. ‘Are you serious?’

‘I told Christopher, and he took it well. Or, well, he said he already knew and was under the assumption everyone already knew and we just didn’t talk about it. And I told my parents and Eugenia.’

Alastair hesitated. ‘Did you tell them I like men?’

‘No,’ Thomas said quickly. ‘Just about me, and how I feel. And that I’d at least like to have you as a friend, even if you weren’t interested in more.’

‘And your family, they accepted you?’

‘They were very kind and supportive, although my mother did say I might be worse at this whole romance thing than my father.’

Alastair frowned. ‘What did your father do?’

Thomas laughed, and Alastair could only think how beautiful his laugh was, how it lit up his face. ‘As you know, my mother was a servant before she became a shadowhunter, and my father decided to regularly ask her for scones, which he doesn’t like, so he could see her when she brought them. He then hid them under his bed.’

Alastair burst out laughing. He knew he shouldn’t, he knew he had no right to laugh about the people he’d brought such shame to, but at the same time he couldn’t imagine this happening. If Gideon Lightwood disliked scones so much, why not ask for literally anything else?

‘He also accidently blurted out his intentions of marrying my mother in her presence before he even proposed,’ Thomas added. ‘I’m not sure which part is worse, but it does make for good stories.’

‘I’d say the scones are worse,’ said Alastair, taking a sip from his tea.

‘You’re very beautiful,’ Thomas said suddenly. ‘When you laugh. Also when you don’t laugh, but I like seeing you laugh. You always seem so sad.’

Alastair looked Thomas in the eye. ‘Really? You think I’m beautiful?’

‘Of course I do, who wouldn’t? I love your hair now that you’ve dyed it back to black.’

Alastair felt the tears coming back, and Thomas looked startled. ‘Did I say something wrong?’

‘No, it’s just… No one has told me I’m beautiful. And no one has told me they like my hair. It wasn’t an easy decision to dye it back. I didn’t want to pretend to be something I’m not anymore, but I thought everyone preferred the blonde.’

‘I’ve always liked dark hair, and it suits you well. And I’m glad you’re more comfortable with it. I guess I have no idea what it’s like, to be judged for the color of your hair or your skin.’

‘That’s the second part of what happened at the academy, what I hadn’t told you yet,’ Alastair said sadly. ‘No one there looked like me. They latched onto the rumors about my father, of course but they also treated me differently for being Persian, made fun of my features, my language… I thought it would get better if I adapted more to what they wanted.’

‘Alastair, I’m so sorry,’ Thomas said, reaching out his hand as if to touch him, but retreating. He probably remembered Alastair’s warning, but right now he did want to be touched. Now he knew Thomas did care for him, even if he had an odd way of showing it sometimes.

So Alastair leaned into him, resting his head against Thomas’ chest. It was comforting to feel his chest rise and fall with his breath. Perhaps he did like to be touched sometimes, but only if the other person loved him. There were very few people who did, and Alastair wasn’t so certain if Cordelia loved him anymore.

‘Is this alright?’ Thomas asked, putting a hand around him.

‘It is. It’s actually nice. But Tom, how can we make this work, if your friends still hate me?’

‘Christopher doesn’t,’ Thomas said. ‘He is willing to give you a chance. All you have to do is help him out with his experiments, show some interest, and he’ll like you. Lucie is going to adore you, I’m sure of it. As for James and Matthew… I’m not sure, but they don’t get to decide who I like or don’t like. For so long I tried to hate you out of loyalty to Matthew, but ultimately that’s his issue and not mine.’

‘But what if you lose your friends because of me?’ Alastair asked. ‘I would never want you to lose people you love for me.’

Thomas put his hand in Alastair’s hair, and Alastair thought about how Thomas had said he loved his hair. He’d never considered someone might. Charles had certainly preferred his hair blonde. He had been the one to suggest dyeing it.

‘That would be their loss,’ Thomas said. ‘You deserve to be loved too, Alastair. I will tell James and Matthew when they get back, and if they decide not to accept it, then perhaps they’re not very good friends.’

Alastair was surprised to hear him say that. He’d thought the four boys were exceptionally close, the kind of friendship he longed for but never had.

‘That’s what my mother said,’ Thomas added.

Alastair frowned. ‘Do your parents know I spread that rumor? Surely they would not accept you pursuing me if they knew?’

‘I told them,’ Thomas said. ‘But my father said that when he was young, he’d done worse. He realized he was wrong and changed, uncle Gabriel too. He said it would be hypocritical to hold this against you.’

‘Really?’

‘So far they seem to like you,’ Thomas said. ‘And they are very grateful that you made sure to keep me safe. And… I am too. I never thanked you, but I should have. I am grateful that you put so much effort into protecting me. But please do not risk your life like that again. I would never forgive myself if you died trying to keep me safe.’

‘Only if you promise never to do something as reckless as those patrols again,’ Alastair said. ‘Someone had to keep you safe, and I certainly wasn’t going to let you die because of your own recklessness. Because I love you.’

They sat like that for a while, Alastair taking in the sensation of being held. He didn’t remember ever receiving such affection, and wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.

‘I’m not going to patrol alone again,’ Thomas said. ‘I promise.’

‘Then I won’t follow you as you patrol alone either,’ Alastair said. He paused. ‘I never expected you to come back for me. I never thought you could love me.’

‘I do. I loved you since Paris,’ Thomas said. ‘I mean, at school I liked you as well, but I thought you it was daring that you said whatever you wanted. I saw your sadness too, but not the real you. Not like in Paris.’

‘I certainly did not say whatever I wanted,’ Alastair said softly. ‘I said what I thought I had to so they wouldn’t hurt me.’

‘I can’t even imagine how badly they must have hurt you,’ Thomas said softly.

Soothing words eased some of the pain, but not all of it. Alastair wasn’t sure if it ever would. Love would tie the tourniquet. It might suffocate him. He would have to find another way to starve the pain within, if such a thing were possible.

‘You were treated badly as well, I’m sure you have some idea.’

‘Yes, but you were always nicer to me than to the others, and I think that shielded me from the others as well. Are you going to be alright, Alastair? I want to help you, but I’m not sure I know how.’

‘I have no idea,’ Alastair admitted. ‘But I’m going to try. You make me want to try. I have no idea how though.’

He knew he needed to get better, if he wanted this to work, to find a way to heal from everything that had happened to him. He knew he couldn’t depend on one person to heal him like he had with Charles, someone who had ultimately broken whatever was left of his heart.

‘Perhaps you could talk to uncle Jem,’ Thomas suggested. ‘If anyone can help with that, it’s him.’

Alastair hadn’t considered that. His cousin thought he hated him. He’d reached out once, back when Alastair had attended the Academy, and he’d pushed him away like he did everyone else. He wasn’t sure Jem would still be willing to help him after everything. But perhaps he could try. Perhaps it didn’t always have to be like this.

#Alastair Carstairs #Thomas Lightwood #the last hours #tlh #chain of gold #chain of iron #tsc

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ignitification · 3 years

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What are your thoughts on Mitsuki Bakugou? I’m really curious because some say she’s abusive and some say she’s not so on 🤷‍♀️

Eh, I think it's slightly more complicated than that. (Also, I’m so sorry I’ve been sitting on this ask). To be honest, I'm not sure myself - and I read posts about both perspectives, but I avoided talking about this, because first of all, I think that Mitsuki cannot be categorized as abusive, or as a perfect parent either. She is in the middle of both categories, because some of her behaviour tend to get either exaggerated, or downplayed putting her right in the middle of ‘overprotective parent’ and ‘not caring parent’. I can’t seem to conciliate her aspects, and I think, on some level, that is exactly the case that HK knows what he is doing. Mitsuki is made to be seen as ambiguous - because what we are told and showed is that her and Katsuki are basically the same person, which brings further depth and ambiguity to Katsuki’s character. Mitsuki is not openly supportive like Inko, nor she is Endeavour. I think her dimension is more in the lines of “I have been educated like this, and he is very similar to me, so I’m going to educate him the same way,” or at least, this is what it comes out as.

Now, besides my doubts, I don’t personally think Mitsuki is a ‘healthy’ parent. But I also come from a mainly western household, and I don’t know how hr behaviour might be seen from a Japanese cultural aspect, so my opinion is limited by my own reality and experience and what I personally consider normal/healthy (when it comes to parents). My assumption is that Mitsuki has fuelled Bakugou’s superiority and inferiority complex, without consciously wanting to - which does not take from her doing it, but I would not say it’s entirely her fault. Katsuki has a very strong character, and he hit the ‘genetic lottery’ with both his looks and Quirk. In a world where your worth is mainly based on your Quirk, and how much you can stand above others, Bakugou’s outcome as a bully, and generally an angry teenager is not fat-fetched, and even expected. Society teaches then, that if you have a good Quirk, you are worth something. And if you don’t have a Quirk at all, then you are inferior by default - and maybe this is exacerbated in Katsuki’s behaviour because he is egged on to strive for perfection, to win always (because if he hit the genetic lottery is also means that he needs to stand up to it), but it also is tied to his view (never corrected) that it is okay to consider someone who is different from you, bad. Now, this brings onto two consideration: Bakugou has not only never been corrected on his behaviour by family and teachers (which are partly to blame for how he grew up - because you don’t grow up that unsatisfied with yourself and others, if you aren’t always pushed yourself to the extreme, and who exactly is the first person to push for your best if not one of your parents?), but instead he has felt justified in it, while also feeling wrong about it (and y’all can argue with yourselves about this, because if he hadn’t he would not have developed an inferiority complex about Izuku). This entails the fact that Bakugou has had a white flag on his behaviour (because of society) and has been prompted to do his best, because it was expected to him. Also, we need to consider that Bakugou is a teenager, whose views have never been put into discussion, until he entered UA - which means that the bullying you all love so much to talk about, has not only perpetrated by Bakugou alone, but also all his classmates and teachers (exactly like what happened in A Silent Voice). This also means that Mitsuki has or never bothered to correct him, or she did not care/notice about him having such a behaviour, which brings about again the society they live in and in which both discrimination ad psychological abuse is deemed, if not normal, socially acceptable if is it about a certain category of people. This makes a parent who educated her son to value whatever has been taught to herself from society, which does not make it a good thing, not in the slightest - but also does not entail that she is abusive. I am sure that the thing about these parents, is that they are trying their best, and they make mistakes, for sure but need to correct them.

In conclusion, I think Mitsuki might be seen as a bad parent, yes, but let’s also remember how she herself has been brought up by all this society ideals (which DOES NOT justify her, but gives her more room in her behaviour), and then made her own ideas facts by educating Bakugou in a way where he thinks it is okay to treat his own parents like extras (and call them names). I don’t exactly know what you might have gathered from by scattered thoughts, but this is really all my mashed opinions on her and her possibly being a good-willing bad parent. Thanks for reading.

#:sba #sunn answers #sorry this is so confusing #mystrangers #bakugou mitsuki #pro bakugou katsuki #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #my hero academia #bakugous #tw: inferiority and superiority complex mention #anti hero society

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anonymouslyangsty · 3 years

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Bit of an old AU. But Werewolf!Taka finally getting a chance to let himself be justifiably angry

Oh nice

Kiyotaka's self expression in the monster au is definitely worth considering. Because yeah, he's the same ball of determination and feelings as in canon. The difference is that here that's something he feels the need to control

In canon, Kiyotaka has a lot of problems, but expressing his feelings is not one of them. This man bursts into tears every other conversation, both when he's happy and sad. He's honest about his feelings at every turn.

I think that comes from Toranosuke's downfall to some degree, though I'm sure a lot of it is also just who Taka is. Because Toranosuke was corrupt, a liar who cheated others for his own gain.

Taka wants to be nothing like him. So he's honest with his intentions and feelings. Taka's all about openness, even down to his whole "when the body's naked, so is the soul!" thing. Or however that quote goes.

In the monster au, Toranosuke's downfall isn't quite the same. He didn't fall just because he was corrupt, but because he used his wolf form to do something horrible. Toranosuke's downfall wasn't caused by him being a liar. It was caused by him not having self control

(Or at least, that's what he wants everyone to think. If they think he 'lost control' of himself, it's less likely he'll be imprisoned for mauling someone.)

And that would change Taka's philosophy. How can he be true to himself when he has a monster hiding just beneath the skin? He can't risk losing control, he can't risk making the same mistake as his grandfather.

After the scandal, the Ishimarus weren't just hated, they were feared. Rumors spread, especially when fueled by anger and anxiety. Some people say werewolves just can't control themselves, that they'll maul you with no warning. Some say it doesn't even need to be near a full moon to happen.

That's not true, not at all, but Taka wouldn't know that. All he'd know is that people are afraid of him. People get angry or nervous when he gets too loud. If he's getting bullied, the teachers always assume he's the aggressor.

Taka doesn't want people to hate him. He wants to prove that he isn't his grandfather, that he's better. But while he can prove he isn't corrupt like Toranosuke, there's nothing he can do about his werewolf blood. The only thing he can do about that is try to control it. To prove that he is disciplined at all times.

Which means keeping a tighter rein on his feelings than canon Taka. Because Canon Taka needs to prove that he's honest and truly well-intentioned. Werewolf!Taka needs to prove that he's in control of himself.

Werewolf!Taka would care so much more about what people think of him. He would care if people thought he was too intense, where in canon Taka would dismiss such a complaint. But it's not easy for someone like him. Because when Taka feels something, he feels it strongly.

Taka tries so hard. He'll bite his lip until it bleeds before he lets himself shout at someone. He tries to control his volume, though he fails to do so far too often. He tries not to smile too broadly, because he knows his teeth are just a bit too sharp for comfort.

Not that it's working, Taka's never been good with lying about who he is. But he tries.

That all being said, I'm going to get to your actual ask now.

I think if werewolf!Taka were going to get honestly, truly angry, it would take something more on the serious side. Taka's used to delinquent students and bullies. He's used to being unfairly discriminated against in stores, especially near full moons. He's not going to lose his temper over something like that.

Kiyotaka can handle people harassing him. People harassing other people though? That's a whole different story.

In a situation where it doesn't go beyond physical, I think Taka can keep his cool. Is someone discriminating against another student for their species? He's probably going to do that "so mad I'm tearing up" thing he does (Taka is an angry crier we all know this).

The most Taka allows himself is righteous anger. Because yes he doesn't want to scare anyone, but he will not allow his fellow students to mistreat each other. He will give out a firm verbal lashing when he needs to.

(But Taka can't work up that same anger when he's the one being unfairly hated. Taka's nothing if not self punishing and self sacrificing.)

But what happens outside of school, when there's no teachers to call on, and there are no officers to request aid from?

Taka will fight tooth and nail to protect someone else. Yes, he'll do his best to rely on the law for such matters, on trying to end things peacefully. But when he can't find the proper authorities, when words won't solve the problem?

Kiyotaka can and will fuck you up. Werewolf!Taka wouldn't have any martial arts training, because who in their right mind would let a werewolf into a class like that? So Taka fights dirty. And he's got the claws and teeth to do it if needed. In a real fight, Taka will leave a fool with stitches.

It'd be very rare that kind of thing happens, because Taka isn't willing to use that kind of force to defend himself. Afterwards, he'd feel absolutely disgusted with himself. Yes, he needed to protect someone. Yes, if he hadn't intervened,an innocent person would've been hurt.

But there's always that lingering fear. Was he too swift to resort to violence? Could he have de-escalated that situation? Did he resort to violence because he's got the instincts of a killer, just like everyone says?

Kiyotaka won't see himself as a hero stopping a woman from being mugged. Especially not when, after he's chased the attackers away, she looks at him like he's about to eat her alive.

After events like that, Taka’s even harder on himself than usual.

#kiyotaka ishimaru #monster au #danganronpa #an ask tag

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a-student-out-of-time · 3 years

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((Mod, I'm not going to lie, the way you're handling Mikan's past in this blog really makes anon massively uncomfortable. You just had Kokoro indirectly imply that being bullied and suffering doesn't make you worthy of sympathy or compassion. I know you're trying to meet Hiyoko fans halfway and everything, but it feels like you're pandering to them so hard you've actually started to hate bullying victims, like Hiyoko fans do. You're "considering other views" SO much you've become an apologist.))

//I am genuinely confused by what you’re saying here, because none of that is what’s going on.

1. Hiyoko has nothing to do with any of this. At all. She wasn’t mentioned at any point, so I have no idea where you would get this impression that this was meant as pandering or that I’ve become an apologist. That has nothing to do with this conversation at all.

2. None of what you mentioned is what was said. Kokoro was not saying that being the victim of bullying or suffering “doesn't make you worthy of sympathy or compassion.” What she was trying to say was putting your own suffering at the center of the universe and all your experiences is the problem. Of course people who’ve suffered and been through horrible shit that they don’t deserve are worthy of love and compassion, but in the worse cases, they can also develop victim complexes where they feel that, because their lives have been horrible, they feel like they deserve compensation from the universe. Which is often a result of them not getting that love and compassion early on.

The classic example is the villain who does horrible shit because they had a bad childhood or they lost someone they love, and they feel they deserve something in return, like the universe owes them, to the point that other people have to suffer for it. But it’s okay, because the villain’s suffering is justified but everyone else is complaining too much.

3. Morality is not black and white. Like it or not, it’s entirely possible to be the victim of unfortunate circumstances and still be an asshole. Victim complexes, self-pity and the desire for some kind of compensation are the cause of a lot of suffering themselves, where people put their own pain and their own misery at the center of the universe. Often because doing makes them feel important or they torture themselves with it because they don’t feel they’ll ever be important.

What Kokoro was saying was that how you respond to the pain and suffering your life is what really matters. Not by fixating on how mean bullies were to you, not playing misery poker and decided your suffering on how your misery isn’t important or is worthy of blotting out the sun, but thinking about how you can fix it and live a better life.

The sad truth is that wallowing in self-pity is a fundamentally selfish act, and no matter how personal you try and make it, it hurts other people just as much as it hurts you. And it can lead to people pushing away and even hurting those who are only trying to help. You devalue those around you because, no matter how much they care about you, you ultimately give them the impression that they’re wasting your time on you. And that hurts.

4. I absolutely love Mikan as a character, not because she’s cute or “uwu she did nothing wrong.” No, she did a lot of things wrong. A lot of her decisions were, if you look through the story and her free time events, fundamentally selfish: she admits that she only really healed herself for her own sake, she went into medicine partly because she liked having people depend on her, and, when her despair self came out, she

While I have my own issues with Chapter 3, Mikan is my favorite DR character because of how complex she is. She is kind and she is loving, but she wrestles with feelings of worthlessness which often manifest in self-destructive and outwardly-destructive ways. What she needs is compassion and understanding, and love from someone who isn’t called the Ultimate Despair. That’s really what despair is: deciding that your life doesn’t matter, nothing matters, only misery matters. It hurts you and it hurts other people.

4. I don’t say all this as judgement from an outsider. This is quite frankly the most important life lesson I’ve ever had to learn. I’ve been through all of this myself. I’ve hurt people and ruined good relationships I’ve had because I ended up using a lot of them as emotional crutches to hold myself up, rather than valuing them as I should’ve.

Depression, anxiety and low self-worth are the most painful and awful things to deal with, and I still struggle with them. It clouds your mind and makes pain and misery and sadness seem like the most important things in the world, and of course people are gonna feel like shit when that happens

We have a bit of a problem with selfish desires, where a lot of the time, we assume that being selfish is a fundamentally bad thing and doing so makes you a bad person. Really, doing good things for yourself- when you assign value to yourself as a person in spite of your circumstances, when you can look at your mistakes and say “Alright, I’ll try and learn from this,” and when you stop fixating on all your pain and suffering and mistakes- is the most important thing in the world.

And yes, a big part of that is being compassionate and understanding toward those who’ve suffered. But they also need to be willing to accept the negative thoughts and actions that might’ve emerged from that maelstrom of misery, because ignoring it only leads to it festering and welling up inside you. Ignoring a problem and telling people they’ve done nothing wrong can and does lead to those problems manifesting in new ways.

Ultimately, at the core of all of this is the need for open, honest and compassionate communication, to be able to say that, in spite of all of this, you are still worthy of love and acceptance. You have people who want you to get better, but you also need to be better to yourself. Not focusing on your pain, you problems, or how unhappy you are with life, but asking what you can do to fix it all and how you can get better. And also understanding that growth takes time and, while you might stumble and make mistakes, it’s important to keep moving forward regardless. Be good to others and to yourselves- that’s my advice for living your best life.

If none of this has been clear in the story so far or if I’ve given the impression of something else, then I apologize and will try and make that more clear in the future. I understand that not everyone has had my experiences or been where I or these characters have been, and I hope this has made my position more transparent to you.

Also, apologies for talking about this for so long, but this kind of story is important to me personally and I’d like to reach out to others so they can understand that.

#mod talks #a student out of time

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m-y-fandoms · 4 years

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Danganronpa V3 characters Most to Least likely:

to take their S/O’s side during a scrum debate, knowing their S/O is lying

Sort of an imagine + most to least likely list due to my explanation of each scenario. Warning: spoilers for the entire game throughout.

-Mod Kokichi

Kokichi Ouma - Once he’s in love with you, he’s ride or die to the point that he doesn’t care if he or the others die for you. Plus, lying at the scrum debate and winning doesn’t technically mean the trial goes poorly or that his S/O is the culprit, it’s just a step to find more evidence and weed out traitors, and that’s just how he would justify it to himself. Plus, it’s just waaaaay more fun to spice up the trial with your lies~

Kaito Momota - He chose to love you, right? So he has to believe in you. You must have a good reason for lying, he thinks, but even if you don’t, some people are just worth dying for.

Tenko Chabashira - A similar mindset to Kaito. She will trust her S/O, believing that there’s no way you could be malicious, and wanting to believe your true heart is pure to the very end. Even if she’s not confident with her decision to support you, she’s gonna yell and fight like she is.

Kaede Akamatsu - She wouldn’t choose an S/O who would lie to save themselves and let everyone else die, so if you’re lying, it must be for a good reason.

Shuichi Saihara - A mix of Kaede and Kaito’s reasoning, he believes that he chose a good person to love, and believes in your intellect. You must be lying to twist the trial in a positive way. He did point out Kaede’s lie in the first trial reluctantly, but he just had a mild crush on her...he LOVES you, and whereas Kaede asked him to expose her lie, you were clearly wanting him on your side. He just couldn’t turn against you.

Ryoma Hoshi - He wouldn’t lie for a friend or aquaintence in a trial, being a very blunt and honest guy, but if the only person in this world who gave him a reason to live and loves him needs him on their side, you’re damn right he’s going to lie for them.

Rantarou Amami - Amami isn’t a selfish guy. He’s loved many people in his life: siblings, parents, friends, previous lovers. He knows what it means to sacrifice and even though he is the Ultimate Survivor, it was because he’s good at it, not necessarily for selfish reasons. If his little sister had been throw in this killing game or the previous one he was in, he would die for her in an instant, an he would die for you. So...he trusts you. And after a bit of a shocked expression and wondering what you’re up to, he would join in and lie with you, and he’s so confident and smooth that he might just fool the majority of your classmates.

Korekiyo Shinguji - Make no mistake, Kiyo has no trouble lying on his own behalf...but for others, no. He would be very conflcited at first, even trying, subtly and gracefully, to get you to tell the truth and sweating over your lies in the trial, because deep down, he can be a very selfish person. No one has ever wanted him in their lives and he’s a loner, so self-preservation always came first. Why stick his neck out or care about people who bully/ostracize/judge him? Why see other humans as anything other than objects of beauty, precious but ultimately not as valuable as his own life, just as an artifact would be. But...you didn’t look at him like that, like he was a creep or inquire about his mask and habits. He had fallen in love with you, realizing his relationship with his sister growing up was something traumatic and not normal, very much forced on his young mind. He had to...he had to lie for you.

Tsumugi Shirogane - As the mastermind, she can easily tell where the trial is headed and can probably make Monokuma say some stupid reason or new rule for getting you out of your lies later on, so she’s willing to lie for you in the debate, putting on her innocent and naive facade, just with a new layer of lovesick.

Miu Iruma - This would go one of two ways. 1. She genuinely doesn’t know you’re lying and sides with you, barking at your opponents in your defense, or 2. She knows you’re lying and the anger behind her words thrown at your opponents is half for them for accusing you, and half for you for being a dumbass, lying little bitch who now has dragged her into this. If you both survived this trial, she would chew you out later.

Himiko Yumeno - She doesn’t want to die, but as seen in-game, she quickly loses heart when it comes to losing people she loves or being pressured. She would hesitantly tell you to stop lying and that she trusted you, so how could you act like this, but would slowly lose the will to fight and want to take your side because she loves you, even going as far as to say something like: “Nyeh...I know S/O is lying, b-but, but I’m gonna take their side until the very end, and I’m not gonna vote for them. I...I just can’t,” while trembling softly. And shame on you for making her feel that way.

Maki Harukawa - She wouldn’t associate herself with, much less date someone who lies for the wrong reasons. She would lie for you if she felt it was necessary or for the greater good or moving the trial in the right direction, but would avoid voicing her opinion in the trial altogether unless her hand is forced. Maki is more likely to call out your bullshit bluntly and in a monotone voice, before forcing you to tell the truth to the others and own up to what you did. If you were only lying to find evidence or save face, she wouldn’t even bring it up after the trial, but if your lie was to cover for you killing someone, she would close her eyes during your execution and silently pretend it didn’t hurt as much as it did, crying later when absolutely no one could see her. They would be tears of grief over losing her one true love, and tears of anger at your selfishness and her stupidity in choosing to love you.

Angie Yonaga - “Atua says it’s alwaaaays better to speak the truth!” She says while posing her hands in a praying position. You saw how she threw Himiko under the bus in the second trial, there was no way she was lying for you or dying for your stupid lie. If it was a lie to keep the trail moving, oh well, she exposed you. If you lied and died as the culprit, oh well, it is better to be with Atua anyway, and she can find other people to be around easily. Additionally, I really see Angie as aromantic or averse to real romantic relationships. I think she would see her S/O as someone who cares about her and Atua, and is easy to manipulate, but who she admits she likes spending time with more than others. Still not lying or dying for you though.

Gonta Gokuhara - the key word here is knowing his S/O is lying. If he is convinced you’re not lying even when you are, he will take your side until convinced otherwise by his friends. He loves you so very much, but gentleman don’t lie, and he believes that his S/O should always tell the truth. “S-S/O, telling lies only hurt yourself and others. Gonta knows you are good person. Only bad people lie!” He would be heartbroken that you want him to take your side and expect him to lie, and has a very the-truth-shall-set-you-free mindset. Plus, I don’t think Gonta would think so far ahead as to see that the truth may get his beloved killed. He’s thinking of the here and now, this particular conversation. And you shouldn’t be lying to your friends.

Kirumi Tojo - If Kirumi ever let herself get close enough to you to fall in love, she would still set strict boundaries for herself, and have a very professional/master and maid type relationship with you. She would comfort you more and maybe blush at your contact or flirty advances but not reciprocate too much becasue there is a part of her that keeps every relationship in her life at a arm’s length. She won’t let herself truly love. No one can break down her wall, for that’s what makes her perfect to serve unconditionally. When realizing you’re lying, because oh, she definitely would, she would close her eyes, a small frown on her face. She’s disappointed in you, but reminds herself again why she doesn’t get close to people. She sighs, exposing your lies calmly to the others with phrases a little less cold than usual, such as: “I’m sorry, S/O, but that’s not the complete truth and I can’t allow it.”

Kiibo - Simply put, no matter his feelings toward you, Kiibo knows that in this trial, lying could lead to everyone dying. A handful of friends and himself dying for a liar is just not fair. He wouldn’t lie with or for you. In the best case scenario inside his careful and analytical mind, you are exposed for lying and it was a petty lie or doesn’t mean you’re the culprit. I the worst case scenario, it leads to your death. And while he feels the closest feeling to human love he has ever felt for you, he can’t let a bunch of innocent friends die for your lie. He would miss you, and be very depressed about losing you and maybe never try to have a relationship like this again, but his decision is what was ethically and morally right.

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mismashedsocks · 4 years

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so riordan made a half assed lame excuse on his lazy/racist writing on piper yesterday and on top of that he made another one on samirah and i’m muslim so i am going to talk about it

damn i’m so sorry these people have been pushing you past your comfort zone about your wildly popular racist caricatures of minorities that have great impact on your young, impressionable target audience. while its fine that if he takes a break for his mental health he still needs to deal with these problems you can’t just take a break and hope they go away.

why does he think everyone is bullying him. if they talked in all caps, cussed at you, or didn’t stop bothering you, i’m sorry they’re just trying to get you to realize how racist your books are, which you keep refusing to believe. i can believe that a few of them were doing it for attention, but it couldn’t be the majority. and my god, god forbid people want you to write your books the way you preferred, without racist stereotypes. 🙈

you can set your boundaries but you keep ignoring the people, you don’t listen. like you put yourself out there as a writer you are open to criticism

why does he keep doing this to seem like the good guy. you give excuses and don’t do anything and just say that its up to you, you can think whatever you want 🥰🥰. like its such an obvious excuse not to take any action.

i’m sorry but no matter how many muslims you’ve interacted with you haven’t gotten the full experience and last time i checked teachers aren’t the kids best friends soo uhm. anyways the rest of it is just him telling his experience with muslimah students so its just there.

so uhm you just said your students ‘unwillingly’ become an ambassador to everyone she knew’. and then you went to talk to them about islam to make sure you were TEACHING THEM YOUR SOURCE MATERIAL CORRECTLY. i’m sorry imagine. these are kids not some scholars you go to consult. there are so many muslims all over the internet and youtube sharing their experiences for you to access on how to ‘represent their experience’ correctly. you’re the teacher here. picture this:as a muslilm, i teach at a public school and while teaching about Christianity in class, no i would double check or some dumb shit with the students. like educate yourself i’m sorry. anyways apparently he blames his mistakes on himself then goes on to deny he ever made any mistakes i can’t.

so this is a blatant lie. 99% of muslims i’ve met have never read all of sahih bukhari and sahih muslim. usually only scholars do that when they are studying islam for YEARS. and FIVE different interpretations of the quran on top of that. ok so sahih bukhari is 9 books that are over 300 pages each and sahih musilm is 7 volumes with also about 300+ pages each. and then the english versions of the quran are 600 pages. and he claims he read five of them. i’m so sorry but no he didn’t. he writes books so fast and he released mcga around the time toa was being released almost one book per year so he did not have a lot of spare time. the rest ig i can let slide. also and if he did do all of that why does he make so many mistakes in writing samirah. and even IF you accept his excuses reading ALL of this source material is great for teaching your class or whatever but not for writing a modern day muslim. you don’t need to lie to us rick ❤️

most of this is just describing what she’s like but his writing did also add in the model minority, smart kid trope. like no they don’t have to be a terrorist or a A+ student who is the best at everything. there is a middle ground to their personality.

i actually used to love his rep in sam. that’s how i got into the series. i saw a hijabi girl on his website. i got excited and read all of his books. i loved piper, leo, hazel, percy, annabeth, sadie, carter, nico, everyone. now that i look back i was younger and didn’t see anything wrong with it back then. its great that he tried to portray minorities but he did it so badly and now is just denying the faults that his now older readers are trying to tell him.

hey, uhm didn’t you read all of sahih bukhari and muslim? hmm i didn’t think so. anyways the way he dealt with it honestly wasn’t that bad. but the whole ‘whoops’. like why does he keep portraying himself as the innocent old white man just trying his best.

honestly how he wrote samirah as a hijabi was the dumbest thing i’ve ever read. its is totally fine if she wasn’t hijabi, many muslim girls aren’t, and that is their choice. but he decided to make her like a weird middle ground. it was so lazy and inconsistent. in the first book she says she wears it when she needs to, like in situations like going to the masjid. this was fine, since many muslim girls do that. then in the next books she wears it all the time except when she’s in valhalla for some reason. hijabi girls take of their scarves when they’re at home or with family, but making her claim the entirety of vallhalla as her family. that was just demeaning and stupid to me. it takes away its value. and i fucking hated that last sentence. for hijabis, their hijab is important and not a toy or weapon or a MAGIC ITEM. and then on top of that she would have to take it of to hide. he could’ve made it anything else. her hijab isn’t some token item istg.

i love how he admits that they are a big problem and abusive and usually engage with child marriages. i’m relatively he doesn’t understand what the people even meant by it. the practice is a problem that isn’t supposed to be seen in a nice light. the only possible way it could be slightly ok is that if ADULTS agree they 100% do not want to choose who they want to get married to and let their parents choose, and both sides agree. samirah was a child and he decided to make her wedding life decided since the age of 12. and it was ok because amir was conventionally attractive and she loved him. WHAT IF SHE DIDNT. this literally is a dangerous arranged marriage. and arranged marriages are not ok, and mostly perpetuated by victims of it who will end up passing it down their family lines. my parents got an arranged marriage and I HAVE NEVER SEEN THEM DISPLAY ANY SIGNS OF AFFECTION. arranged marriages are not a trope that your can turn around to be a quirky personality trait for your characters.

i’m sorry that’s not how arranged marriages work. most likely if she said something her grandparents would have shut her done and continued with the marriage, as that is what you usually happens. do not portray the small amount of consented, ‘happy’ arranged marriages as the majority. it is a huge problem that many desi/middle eastern cultures are trying to erase. even on top of that he writes situations where she’s going to be in trouble for acting up and ‘jeopardizing the marriage agreement’ and that her grandparents think she’s ‘lucky that she could get the fadlan family to agree to marry their son to her’. these statements are often used in forced and dangerous marriages, so don’t try and justify your actions. if you wanted to show traditional customs in a positive light, there are so many richer parts of samirah’s culture you could’ve focused on and you chose arranged marriage. 😻 all you’ve done is given parents and authority figures a westernized resource to justify arranged and forced marriages, especially with the minimal explanation on how the marriage isn’t forced in the actual books. and yes, your books do condone child marriage samirah is clearly deemed into this marriage ever since the young age of 12. she lived her life knowing she would marry amir. no one has only one crush throughout their life. imagine how she would’ve grown up. sorry you only consider opinions that align with those in you mind.

i’m going to be honest i did like that one scene it was written nicely and accurately but the explanation he gives just ruins the entire thing. the way he just if this strikes you as islamophobic, or samirah as a hurtful, uhm no explanation i just disagree 😽. the way you wrote her is a hurtful stereotype sorry you can’t see it.

oops, you did. too bad you don’t want to do anything about it.

why do you think people are painting you in a negative light, so many of your characters are written on hurtful and negative stereotypes. people aren’t painting it that way, you need to calm down w your ego and listen. dang i’m sorry your best is giving half-assed excuses and not actually doing anything. i’m even more sorry people are mad that a highly privileged author that has a lot of influence is done talking about his racist depictions of minorities in his books.

dang must be lucky to take a break from the social media, imagine what all the minorities you wrote about have to go with everyday weather they are on social media or not. people aren’t bullying you this is valid criticism you refuse to listen to.

fuck you

obviously these are my opinions do not judge every muslim based on what i’ve said come to me if you have a problem with it

anyways support jewish, muslim, black, brown, asian, hispanic, indigenous, lgbtq+, disabled, and other minority authors and creators.

#anti rr #fuck him at this point #samirah al abbas #she deserved so much better #i probably made so many spelling mistakes smh #long post #mcga #rr crit

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