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jdrizzle15 · 3 years

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Her Second Return

Just like all of you, and especially my fellow Penny fans, I am absolutely devastated by the Volume 8 finale. I had been in quite a state these last few days, utterly heartbroken, and actually nauseous at times. It feels strange to me to be legitimately grieving a fictional character, but it’s not a bad thing to feel this way. To me, this just shows that CRWBY loves her just as much as us to have written her so well that we connect so completely with her, that it feels like we lost an actual piece of ourselves when she’s gone.

But as you can probably tell by the title, this mega post isn’t gonna be about accepting this end, not in the slightest! Today I want to share canon evidence that can point towards another return of our beloved quirky red headed cinnamon bun! I’m here to spread this hope that I and others in the Nuts & Dolts dolts Discord server have!

I have this separated into many different sections to keep these thoughts organized. With that said, here goes…

A Father’s Words:

In Episode 7 of Volume 7, ‘Worst Case Scenario’ we learn the origins of Penny’s aura, and thus her soul. We also learn that it takes more aura each time she’s brought back. This leaves open an option that could be used at a later point.

Many people theorized that Pietro could indeed revive Penny one more time, which he would absolutely do. But there also lies the possibility that someone else could donate some of theirs, I’m not sure about this as I feel like it’s akin to blood donation where compatibility matters or there's a high risk of altering her, but the possibility is definitely there.

Now, the conversation in Chapter 5 of Volume 8, ‘Amity’ that Pietro and Penny have is an important moment for both Father and Daughter. It was there to show how her death in PvP all that time ago really did have a heavy impact on him and is still affecting him to this day.

Instead of continuing to pretend that everything is A-okay, like he had done for most of Volume 7, he finally lets his true feelings about how it come out to Penny for what is quite likely the first time. Even going so far as to say "Are you asking me to go through that again?" when she offers to take the risk of trying to lift Amity with her power. He wants Penny to be able to live her life.

This entire scene with Pietro established “this is what will likely happen” even if circumstances are much different now, it doesn’t negate the fact that this is a key part of Penny’s story. Scenes like these have a purpose beyond simply making an eventual death all the more heart wrenching. Her never actually getting to live her life makes those scenes basically moot. It makes them effectively pointless from narrative point of view. Unless there's more to it.

Building Relationship:

The build up between Ruby and Penny the last two volumes has been absolutely phenomenal with a definite destination in mind, and this doesn’t feel like that destination. So much of the arc of this season was to help Penny. This girl that our main protagonist absolutely adores and treasures, it would just be awful to throw all of that out for what amounts to an avoidable end. Why use so much of their precious and very limited runtime on deliberately building up this relationship only to end it abruptly, and permanently, when they’re separated?

In my opinion, RT is definitely smarter now than to intentionally set up what was really looking like a budding gay relationship only to kill one of them for good. If N&D wasn't actually going in a romantic direction, why would they leave in all of the romance-adjacent stuff that they got, that's not how ‘just friends’ act. And that is not something you use such valuable time building up for absolutely no pay off whatsoever...

Representation of Hope:

At its core, RWBY has always been about hope. It’s not at the forefront the whole time, but there's been an underlying theme of hopefulness that has persisted since it began. Some describe the show as a Hopepunk, I personally find this to describe RWBY really well. This genre of storytelling is about caring for things deeply and the courage and strength it takes to do so. It’s about never submitting or accepting the way things are. Fighting for what you believe in and standing up for others. RWBY fits all of this extremely well. How does this relate to Penny? She has been shown to be a sign of hope for everyone, but especially for Ruby, the main main protagonist. A prerequisite for a Hopepunk story is the hope.

Her first death in V3 was something that fundamentally changed Ruby. For the first time in the series, we see our main character all but broken by this event. With the loss of Penny, immediately afterwards, Ruby’s hope followed. She made up for it through determination and force of will. We see it affect her multiple times throughout the journey to Volume 7. But upon her return in V7, Hope reached a high point for everyone, the sheer relief on Ruby’s face is plain to see!

In V8 chapter 5 ‘Amity’, Penny literally raises hope by lifting the arena into the sky so Ruby could spread her message. And when she falls, and Amity with her, the connection is lost and hope plummets again. From there things take a very negative turn with the hack begins to take Penny’s agency.

In chapter 11 ’Risk’ is the point in the arc where everyone is reunited for the moment, so two separate hero stories are no longer a thing at that point in time. For the time being focus seemed to be shifted to care about the characters and how they’re going to solve the current problems. This is also where Ruby reaches her lowest emotional point in the season.

It’s not huge, but it’s interesting how connected this is. Before Ruby and Yang share a good cry over learning the possible fate of Summer, Yang brings up restoring optimism and hope to Ruby after the younger sister storms out of the room in frustration. This is where Penny’s scenes take up the rest of the episode. Getting Penny back in control of her own body and safe again is what makes the ending of the episode much brighter, when just 5 minutes before Ruby had been distraught and scared. This then spills over into the group coming up with the plan to use the staff, putting the main group in a much better mood. Of all the things to go right, it’s interesting that it’s Penny.

Things go wrong with the plan in the end and Penny dies. I find it interesting that once again, Penny got them hopeful in their chances of doing something right. Given said plan succeeded but at the cost of Penny of all people, Penny is shown to be the beginning and end of hope for them

The highest and lowest points for hope seem to directly correlate to when Penny’s around. When she comes back again, hope will return too, just like it had before. And because she’ll likely be back for good this time, the second return will probably be close to when Ruby is nearing the complete abandonment of hope. This would be pretty par for the course of the show honestly.

A little aside, but in a sense, Penny also represents Unity. The CCT in Vale fell after her first death, knocking out global communications and the unifying connection it gave. When it was restored for the briefest moment, she was there. Her body connected so she could allow for its launch, her soul lighting the night to hold up Amity with every ounce of her strength. So of course when the Hack succeeds and she falls, she takes global comms down again with her. At a smaller scale - even at the Hack's second last attempt to control her, she draws everyone in the Schnee Manor together. At the start of the volume, Yang states the one thing that they all agree on is not surrendering Penny.

Unity seems appropriate for one whose first song and wish was for but one friend, who would go on to find so many more in the process, and permit for a moment the possibility of all Remnant becoming friends once more. Where she first died, the name of the episode devoted to her story - Amity, "friendship", from the Latin root amicus, "friend" - she almost lives and dies with the very possibility of a united Remnant. It's no wonder she's a priority target for Salem, the great divider, and it seems natural that her next restoration may very well allow the next bid to bring the world together.

The Void Screams:

Moments after Penny's death, we hear a weird scream in the void space. It was a guttural, pained, angry scream, almost like the void space itself was crying out. All the portals shuddered and flickered when it happened.

Some think that this scream was Salem returning, but that happens earlier than Penny’s death, her return is signaled with cinder's arm acting up. We know this because after the arm finished flailing uncontrollably, Cinder said triumphantly "she's back." If it were Salem screaming, it would have happened after she fixed herself, but it didn't.

And I doubt Cinder would have been surprised or unsettled by it considering she was happy Salem returned not long before it. And why would a Salem scream affect the portals anyway, she has no connection to the staff or it's magic.

Another thing to consider is the fact sound is not transmitted through the portals. Otherwise, they would've heard Oscar and the rest calling for them, or the screams of the citizens of Mantle and Atlas. This lowers the possibility of that scream being from Salem even further.

The sound really seems to be coming from something else entirely within the void, and that something is not at all happy. There’s also the fact that Penny was the only person who died in the void space, everyone else was just thrown out of it like Ruby and Co. The only logical cause to me is Penny. Her body was a product (or byproduct) of the same creation magic that made the void space, her blood seems to have been a trigger.

Now I can't be sure about it, but this makes me feel like Penny is almost a part of creation itself? For whatever this thing is to be so angry, that is the only explanation I can think of currently. But all of this could possibly relate to the Narnia allusion of 'the willing victim killed in a traitor's stead' that others have brought up, which will be covered next.

Narnia Parallels:

Atlas has several parallels and references to fictional places (putting aside real world ones like the United States). One of those is that of Narnia, both on the surface and on a deeper level. It is a land of winter year round, where people struggle to survive and there is a present divide between those loyal to the current Monarch and those who are not. James is a parallel to Jadis, the White Witch, a ruler whose thoughts and cares aren’t exactly centered around the actual well being of the people. The hologram table in Ironwood’s office is designed to look like stone, like the Stone Table which features prominently in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. He has a handpicked cadre of special agents/secret police, like how Maugrim and his wolves served Jadis. Another key parallel is how Jadis’s winter sets in to oppress and kill everyone in Narnia, but the Witch provides aid and protection to her loyal followers. She has all the power to spare harm to others, and uses it only for the loyal. As soon as Mantle splits from James and Atlas, no care is taken to protect them from the cold of Solitas even though he has every ability to turn the heating grid back on. His protection is only for the loyal.

Now that the parallel is established, let's look into the details. Starting with how James plays the role of Jadis.

"I had forgotten that you are only a common boy. How should you understand reasons of State? You must learn, child, that what would be wrong for you or for any of the common people is not wrong in a great Queen such as I. The weight of the world is on our shoulders. We must be freed from all rules. Ours is a high and lonely destiny." These are the words Jadis says in the Magician’s Nephew to justify the blood civil war she and her sister had waged for rulership of Charn, before she came to Narnia. She won that war, technically, but only after the last battle had been lost and her sister had marched right up to her so that they were face to face. Jadis’s troops were dead, her followers had surrendered, and the capital was under full control of her sister. But, she still had one card, one ultimate play to win and prove the throne of Charn was rightfully her. The Deplorable Word, a piece of old magic that killed everyone and everything except for her on Charn. It was monstrous, senseless, cruel beyond measure. But it got her that hollow victory. This mindset, the disregard for the people except as tools for her own will, the ultimate ‘aoe’ destructive move that no one had even considered her using, the unwillingness to stop even when by all practical measures the war is over, is a shocking parallel to James. In many ways, he is Jadis in mindset and deed.

Then there is the shared desire for A Thing that both James and Jadis have. For James it’s the Winter Maiden and control over her. For Jadis it’s the Silver Apples from the Tree of Youth. And funnily enough, the Maiden Powers parallel the Apples quiet well. These apples grant power and a life of eternal beauty, but should not be taken or eaten on one’s own initiative. They must be given, a gift granted by another, or only suffering will come from obtaining them. "For the fruit always works — it must work — but it does not work happily for any who pluck it at their own will. If any Narnian, unbidden, had stolen an apple and planted it here to protect Narnia, it would have protected Narnia. But it would have done so by making Narnia into another strong and cruel empire like Charn, not the kindly land I mean it to be.” Jadis’s immortality, and some of her power, come from the fact that she ate an Apple of her own will after stealing her way into the garden where the Tree of Youth had been planted. She gained the eternal life she had wanted and the power along with it, but she did so by taking it and was cursed because of it. Her skin turned pale and her lips blackened as if she were a frozen corpse given life. She will be trapped in a life of misery and hate according to Aslan- oh hey Cinder, how’s having stolen the Power you always wanted working out for you? Cinder had the power she wanted, but she only got hungrier, eager to claim more and increase her might. But in her pursuit she was defeated and humiliated by Raven, had to steal her way out of Mistral, and then suffered defeat after defeat while in Atlas. Only in the end, when she didn’t keep pursuing the Maiden Power, did she get any kind of victory.

The reason these parallels to Narnia are so important is one of the most famous events of the series. The cracking of the Stone Table and the rebirth of Aslan after his death. ‘When a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backward.’ Well, the ‘Stone Table’ in James’s office has cracked, and Penny strikes me as a pretty willing victim. She has never actually committed any actual treachery or harm, as she was the Protector of Mantle, and fought for its and Atlas’s people until the very end. And because of her death, the actual traitor, Winter, who loyally served James until he had gone too far, was saved. Through Penny’s self sacrifice, Winter was saved. So now Death itself will start working backward.

(Major props to my friend @catontheweb for writing this section, I was getting nowhere with it, if they weren't there this part wouldn't exist!)

Norse Mythology:

The tree we see in the post credit scene gives off some serious Yggdrasil vibes. Also called the World Tree, it is essentially all of creation in Norse Mythology. It connects all nine realms, including the God realms of Asgard, the human realm of Midgard, and the underworld of Hel.

Humans are born from the branches of Yggdrasil. The web of Wyrd is woven for every person once they're born, and their path is set from there regardless of how many times the souls cycle over. But at the end, they're destined to end up in one of the worlds, for a myriad of reasons.

I believe Penny landed closest to this giant tree. She was on the center platform in the void space, so if that space is directly above the island(?) the tree is on, it makes sense for her to fall by the center nearest to the tree. This would not only open up all kinds of possibilities for the volume in general, but it would also create options for Penny.

The whole of Yggdrasil’s representations fit well into Penny’s story. Birth, growth, death and rebirth. We can count Penny’s appearance in V7 as birth for now, her growth is all her development in leaving =the military and becoming a Maiden, her death just happened, and her rebirth would be her revival. And this is a cycle she’s gone through before.

The Norse god Odin and Yggdrasil have quite a connection. In one story, Odin cut out one of his own eyes to gain knowledge from a pool underneath Yggdrasil. The only one that fell whose eyes alone are incredibly significant to the story was Ruby. So, they could choose to have her allude to Odin by having Ruby make some kind of deal with whatever entity likely rules over this magical place. An eye for Penny’s life.

There’s another story about Odin, Yggdrasil and the pursuit of knowledge. Odin so loved knowledge, that he sacrificed himself in a quest to learn the deeper magic of runes. It was believed one could only learn the magic spells from runes in death. So, Odin hung himself on Yggdrasil for nine days as an offering, and teetered between life and death. After he mastered the last spell on the ninth night, he ritually died and all light was extinguished from the world. Odin’s death lasted until midnight, when he was reborn and light returned to the world.

This story doesn’t fit Penny perfectly, but allusions often don’t. So If she really did land near the tree, she could be another loose representation of Odin’s story here. What she did wasn’t for knowledge, but to save her friends and keep Cinder from getting the Winter Maiden power. She believed it necessary that she sacrifice herself to achieve this end. As we established, Penny represents Hope, so her death means the loss of hope. This parallels Odin’s story of his death meaning the loss of light itself. So if this theory holds up, it would make this death temporary, until her rebirth and the return of Hope with her once again.

Alternatively, Ruby has the potential of loosely representing Odin in this story as well. Odin later uses the knowledge of the runes to do many things, but the most relevant one right now is awakening the dead. Both of these stories are about making a personal sacrifice to gain something that is desired. Ruby would absolutely make such sacrifices if it meant saving Penny.

It is said that Odin lived “according to his highest will unconditionally, accepting whatever hardships arise from that pursuit, and allowing nothing, not even death, to stand between him and the attainment of his goals." This sounds like Penny's arc of accepting the WM powers. This is more just a general connection between Penny and Odin, but I found it interesting.

Side Note: I encourage anyone who’s interested to look into RWBY connections to Norse Myth, there’s a surprising amount of things that feel eerily similar to the show. Likely just coincidental, but it’s fun to think about!

(If I got any of this wrong, I sincerely apologize by the way. I researched as best I could, but I admit it could have been lacking.)

Ambrosius and the Staff:

Ruby told Ambrosius "we kinda wanna keep her around longer than that" as part of her very specific instructions. Then Penny died about ten to fifteen minutes, at the absolute most thirty minutes later in-universe. I don’t know about you, but to me that seems very short to be considered ‘longer than that’. Technically it is, but when writing a story and a character says something like that, you typically don’t just kill the character they were referring to basically right away. It makes sense for a week-by-week watch, but in a volume binge, which many viewers do, it becomes ironic how fast Penny dies after being removed from her robotic body.

The first time we see the staff of creation being used, it's to save Penny. Using the staff of creation to help Penny is a sign of how incredibly important she is.

They’ve even got this entire transformation sequence for her, so it wouldn’t make sense for them to throw all that away two episodes later. In a meta context, it’s a massive waste of time and budget considering the asset creation for Penny.

Penny is a character who has already hopped bodies two times. And now we're supposed to just believe that this time it really is a final death? Just two episodes after we were explicitly told her body isn't what matters, that "Her soul is who she is" and that "the mechanical parts are just extra"? From a writing perspective, it feels strange, like your breaking a promise right after making it. And frankly, CRWBY is better than that, which makes me think this is not the actual end for her.

A possible connection between Penny, Ruby, and the Staff (thus Creation) can be seen in the intro. As Ruby is falling and being dragged down into the darkness, she is shown reaching for the staff. In the void space, Penny is the one with the relic. So with Penny having this strong connection to Creation, and the lyrics “fight for every life” playing as Ruby reaches for the staff, it’s a safe assumption to make, with the knowledge we now have, that the Staff of Creation represents Penny in this particular moment. Which could mean that V9 will be about, at least partially, fighting for Penny’s life.

Musical Hints:

In terms of music, Friend, as a song for Penny, is very dissonant from the episode itself. The song is oddly cheerful for Penny’s recent untimely death, and it overall highlights the wrong parts of death. It’s simply too happy to be a song about losing one of the most, if not the most joyous characters in the entire show. The song also abruptly ends. There’s no outro, and while this could symbolize the fact that Penny died young, it could be that the song itself is unfinished in a story sense.

What do we hear just before the song finishes, though? A progression of notes that sounds eerily similar to the last line of the opening of Volume 8. The notes for “Fight for ev’ry life” and “Who fin’lly felt alive'' share a similar melodic structure, they aren’t perfect clones of each other, but they are incredibly similar, to the point where it seems intentional. Penny may very well be the life that the opening song is fighting for. It is also worth noting that the line “Fight for every life” comes just after “Sometimes it’s worth it all to risk the fall,” which is the exact wording used for the description in the Volume 8 finale. Team RWBY risked the fall, yet, strangely the opposite of fighting for every life happened with Penny’s sacrifice. Perhaps the time to fight for every life has yet to happen, and we will see it come Volume 9.

For another thing, the lyrics for Friend are entirely centered on Penny’s feelings for Ruby, to the point where they read very much like a bittersweet love song. The music itself is incredibly cheerful, as mentioned previously, creating a mood whiplash with the end of the volume. Why would we hear a song about Penny’s feelings for Ruby, sounding like a love song, if her death is supposed to be a tragic sacrifice akin to Pyrrha’s? The song may very well be giving a clue into its future use in the show proper.

If this was meant to be a good bye song, why make it so cheerful and romantic sounding? There's only one part about her dying and even then, it's just too accepting and goes right back into cheerfulness. The song is also pretty hopeful, telling Penny's story in a fairly chronological order. And the part where she talks about sacrifice is quite pointedly followed up by one about feeling alive. It also ends with the super cheerful chorus, the word "alive" being the last... (Remember the episode title: The Final Word)

(I want to thank my friend @shadow-0f-x for writing the majority of this section! I was struggling to choose how to tackle it as I am not well versed in music theory.)

What We Didn’t See:

It is likely that Penny understood Jaune's semblance better than him and figured something out about it’s abilities in the same way that she understood Ruby's semblance better than her. She had plenty of time to observe his semblance up close as he boosted her aura to stave off the virus. Because of that intentionally timed cutaway in the finale, we don’t get to hear her explain herself after her strained “Trust me.” All of that seems really suspicious to me.

Pyrrha Parallel:

Pyrrha and Penny both sacrificed themselves to stop or stall Cinder. Jaune tried to convince the both of them to stop. With Pyrrha, he failed, while with Penny he actively helped her sacrifice herself. Doesn’t make sense for the guy who was determined not to let anyone else do what Pyrrha did, unless of course Penny assured him she’d be alright.

The Moment:

RT including the suicide hotline in the description shows that they're aware that Penny basically committed assisted suicide, seeing it as a noble sacrifice worth doing to save her friends. They're aware, and I believe they're smart enough to condemn that decision to hell and back.

The best way to do that in my opinion is to pull her back into the land of the living and let her witness first hand the consequences of throwing her life away so freely. This would show Penny how her actions affected others so maybe she could learn to truly value herself. To not think herself expendable. It would be bold and unwise to portray this choice as something good, unless it was going to be called upon later and be pointed out for how horrible it really is.

On top of this, Penny was way too content with her death, happy even. There's no way team RWBY is letting her stay content with it. It’s almost as though we're supposed to join Ruby and Co. in calling bullshit on what Penny is saying and doing because no, Penny, this is not how things are meant to work. It's as if Penny was basically saying "I want to die for my friends" because most of the volume had been about everyone else making sure she didn't die. She knows it will hurt them. She knows.

At the peak of it all, a choice like this will totally destroy Ruby. It may very well be her breaking point for Volume 9. Curiously, the moment itself is written like it’s the first choice Penny’s ever made, yet the entire Volume shows this isn’t the case. However, this is the first choice that Penny’s made solely independently and it’s rather pertinent that the choice she makes is a mistake. Outside of giving Winter the Maiden gift and saving the day temporarily, this sacrifice will not have any lasting positive effects. Jaune will be saddled with the grief of killing Penny. Ruby will have to live with losing her best friend and not being able to protect her a second time, and Winter now has the burden of the Winter Maiden abilities, making her a target of Cinder. This is a bad thing, and Penny needs to see the long term consequences.

Transfer of Power:

As we all know, colors in RWBY are really important and get a lot of focus in the show. That means the yellow we see as Penny gives Winter the Maiden Powers was intentional and likely important, no matter how insignificant it may seem. It’s possible that the transfer effect being yellow could have something to do with Jaune’s semblance. When Fria gave the power to Penny, the effect was very much blue, so this transfer should have been green since she was the one giving it this time. The weirdness of this transfer and the focus on color in RWBY really makes it look like something’s up with how that went down.

A little off topic, but Penny saying "I won't be gone, I'll be part of you." makes me think... Winter is smart, so when she gets time to think about what Penny said, maybe she'll arrive at the same question many in the audience came to; if she's literally part of Winter, can they be separated again? If Winter starts questioning that, the possibility of Penny coming back just skyrockets.

Fria actually tells Penny "I'll be gone" before giving her powers up, which is an interesting contrast to Penny telling Winter "I won't be gone". She may have gotten that line from Winter be all philosophical in V7, saying Fria was now a part of Penny, but it hits differently coming from an actual Maiden. S5o it’s possible that Maidens usually actually will be gone, but Jaune's semblance did something to change that.

This could go well with the theory that they won't need to find an aura transfer machine, or build another one, because Jaune will have a semblance evolution allowing him to do the transfer instead. It might actually be that this evolution already happened and the golden light we saw was Jaune transferring penny's aura to Winter in some way?

An observation that I find interesting is when Penny gives winter the powers, not only is the aura yellow but penny completely glows yellow too, and she obviously starts to disappear, but she doesn’t seem to fully disappear, she just glows.

It's possibly a fading out effect and she does fully fade but animation makes bright light easier, and so we don't actually see her disappear because she's dead and not gone. But it does once again emphasize the color yellow here!

And the color is coming from Penny, it does go up Winter's arm a bit, but Penny is clearly the source. This transfer is so weird and I’m not really sure how to interpret it. There's just actually no reason that we are aware of to make the effect yellow here is the thing. Unless it has something to do with either Jaune or Ambrosius, or potentially a combination of both...

Jaune’s Aura:

The way we see Jaune's aura break in the finale is strange. His aura shouldn't be breaking here. It had been long enough since he was boosting Penny, he's had time to recharge, and it didn't look like it was a strain on him at all. Plus, we know he has a lot of aura, so there probably wasn't too much to recharge in the first place.

He has a massive amount of aura, it has never broken before as far as I remember. Even if it has though, that doesn’t make this occurrence any less odd. It should absolutely never be a one-hit KO. We didn't see anything that would've drained it, that should not have been enough to break his aura. Unless he did something - something that would require a huge amount of aura - that we just didn't see. That amount of aura drain is far more than just an attempt at healing would do, Jaune absolutely did something with his semblance that took up almost all of his aura.

Pinocchio Allusion:

As any Penny fan knows, her character allusion is Pinocchio, the puppet who became a real boy. Penny deviates from the allusion by having always been a real girl, as Ruby is quick to point out, but she shares many story beats with her original story including multiple deaths. In the original story, Pinocchio dies from being hung by his own strings due to his poor decision making and he dies. Sounds a little familiar, does it not? This is where his tale originally ended. Readers were unsatisfied with this ending however, so the author decided to change the story by reviving Pinocchio and teaching him to be more careful.

Unlike Pinocchio making all the wrong decisions, Penny often makes the right ones, or ones she thinks is right, when concerning others. While usually a good thing, this has meant Penny almost giving herself up multiple times during V8, her last attempt being successful. This is where Penny and Pinocchio begin to share similarities again. They are both very reckless when it concerns themselves. This carelessness comes from different places, but it ends with the same result of them endangering their lives and even sometimes losing them.

In the Disney movie, Pinocchio dies by drowning after going to rescue Geppetto and washes up on the shore (like the beach in V8’s post credit scene). His father is devastated and takes him home to grieve, but as a reward for his selflessness in rescuing his father, the Blue Fairy returns and brings him back to life, as well as granting him humanity. Penny sacrificed her life as well, and it stands to reason that she should be rewarded for it, much like her allusion was.

Penny got her maiden powers from someone with blue aura and then gave her powers to someone with blue aura. So it could be that not only Ambrosius, but Fria and Winter as well represent the Blue Fairy. It could be set up for Winter helping to bring Penny back to life once more. It’s an out there theory I admit, but it’s not outright impossible either. The Blue Fairy in Pinocchio saved him three times that I know of, so RWBY having three representations does make sense.

Geppetto wished for him to live as a real boy, but it depended on what path Pinocchio took. This is very reminiscent of Penny and Pietro. Pietro wants to see her live her life, and surely with him absent in V8C14 that didn't work, despite Penny choosing. Her father did not see her happy enough to live her life, and will only be able to learn her death through others. But Pinocchio's themes were life and being alive. So the likelihood that this is not her end yet is quite high!

A Girl That Fell Through the World:

Penny could be the girl who fell through the world. The girl in the story fled the consequences of a choice. The only person who chose her ultimate fate was Penny. The others were pushed into the void, but she chose to die. The consequence of her choice is Ruby’s grief first and foremost, which Penny won’t see. The girl who fell through the world does come back though, and the world will be changed severely with Penny’s absence. Alternatively, it could also be Penny coming back to Wonderland or wherever they currently are, as long as it’s unrecognizable to her.

What Returning Brings:

Others might say another return would have no story relevant purpose, but I wholeheartedly disagree. Penny gives a profoundly youthful, joyous, and wondrous outlook on the world and story that we hadn't seen since Ruby in Volumes 1-3(not the end), Penny returning would bring a much needed levity back in after the despair they will undoubtedly be going through. While not necessarily a huge thing in most other shows, for RWBY, a show largely about keeping up hope, an ounce of such relief is a necessity.

As much as I hate saying it, Penny’s death does actually make some narrative sense because she had to pass on the Maiden powers. (They could have done this in a number of ways, and I personally think they chose rather poorly, but I digress.) Throughout this whole volume, we can see Penny seemingly being set up to join the main cast, but would have been too strong with the powers. This also accomplishes ridding her of the burden of responsibility that comes with being a Maiden and lets her obtain the freedom that’s so important to her character.

Once she returns, seeing this grief that her actions caused, particularly to Ruby, will get her to realize more that her actions can have serious repercussions. She made a choice, but that choice hurt the people she loves. She must have known that it would but I’m not sure she ever realized just how much.

I didn’t want this post to be heavy in the shipping department, so I largely left it out, but I am going to say this one thing that could have an impact. If Nuts & Dolts is on its way to being canon, which this volume makes it feel highly likely, this could be a catalyst.

It could prompt an arc for the both of them in which Penny learns to live her life fighting for her loved ones, rather than sacrificing it for them. A relationship could potentially start from there. And Ruby seeing Penny learn these things may also help her to stop doing the occasional but very dangerous and reckless things she does. Ruby witnessing Penny coming to terms with what she did to the people that care about her would actually make her stop to think “wait, is this how everyone else would feel if I got myself killed?” That would be a very important moment of character growth for her.

I’m certain there are other significant things that Penny returning can bring to the show. And there are definitely more sections I could add to this. At this point though, assuming anyone even made it this far, I think I’ve been going long enough already. So let’s just roll into the outro!

As painful and hopeless as it seems, I'm choosing to trust them with this because there is absolutely no way they didn't see backlash coming. The way this finale went makes me think that they calculated for backlash and aren’t jumping into something they don’t have a plan to recover from. Whether this trust is unfounded or not remains to be seen, but I don’t think it is currently. I do think, however, that the cause of this backlash was a major misstep. Now that it has happened though, they have a chance to do something good with it.

I know for a lot of you, trust in CRWBY has been damaged, some even irreparably so. And for those that feel this way, I don’t blame you. My trust in them took a hit too, but isn’t broken completely yet. There are many ways that they can bring her back that would make sense with the narrative, they have the ability to make it right, and after going over all of the hints and general weirdness of things many times, I think they will.

I'm feeling pretty confident now and I really didn't expect that to happen at all to be honest. But discussing and theorizing with the discord server seriously helped get my hopes back up surprisingly fast! It’s actually thanks to all of them that this gigantic post even happened! So thanks a ton my fellow Dolts! And a special thanks to!!

@arcana-amicus

@catontheweb

@cosmokyrin

@gaydontmesswithme224

@jammatown919

@shadow-0f-x

They really helped get this thing across the finish line!

And thank YOU for reading all~ of this! I sincerely wish it gave you some of the hope and confidence that I now have!

#RWBY #rwby vol8 #rwby v8 #rwby spoilers #Penny Polendina #nuts and dolts #mechanical rose #a little #Essay #more like dissertation #I haven't written this much in #probably ever actually #Have HOPE people!

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ushidoux · 4 years

Text

Be My Last - Iwaizumi x Reader

Summary: You have trouble getting over a past relationship and it’s preventing you from moving forward. (~3.5k words)

Warnings: stubborn ass reader, very slight nsfw at the end

A/N: It took me a long time to write this because I have trouble with fluff and also trouble with characterizing Iwa lmfao, I might need a second watch. I hope you enjoy! Happy Thanksgiving!

Part 1|| Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

---

“Are you serious?! Are you really saying no to this face?”

Your best friend was now leaning so far across the fast food dining table that she had practically climbed on top of it, holding up her phone just inches from your face to force you to take a better look at the picture of the blind date she had arranged for you.

Your eyes crossed uncomfortably by reflex and you pulled back sharply to grab the phone from her and take a better look. On second glance, you had to admit that the guy standing next to Oikawa was quite good-looking, a couple inches shorter but with a sturdier build, sharper features and just enough scowl in his facial expression to intrigue you.

In fact, he was exactly your type.

“Just one date,” your friend insisted. “You’ve been pining over your ex for almost a year now! You don’t have to fall in love but maybe a small distraction? Plus, double dates would be so fun, come onnnnn~”

Your friend was only rarely this animated so you knew she really wanted this but the idea of even considering romance again after being dumped so harshly before was so undesirable that you stubbornly shook your head instead and took another bite of your burger.

“___, please?”

You frowned, and your friend’s pout grew deeper once she realized there was a pretty good chance you wouldn’t budge about this. After all, you’d rejected every single person that so much as looked in your direction so effectively these past few months that it had essentially become an afterthought.

She leaned back in her seat, occupying herself now with picking out a particularly long fry off of the platter you were sharing, trying to minimize her disappointment. Despite how much she hoped you would say yes, she could understand why you felt the way you did.

“I’m sorry,” you offered, sipping on your drink. She let out a defeated sigh.

“Well, I’ll try to figure out a compassionate way to let Iwa now that you’re not interested. Honestly, Oikawa will probably be more offended by it than me.”

At this last comment, her eyes twinkled softly with a mild amusement and she started to text her boyfriend. However, knowing that it would possibly be a bigger deal to reject Oikawa’s best friend right off the bat than to just endure a date once, you reconsidered.

“Fine! Stop, I don’t need Tooru yelling in my ears. I’ll go.”

She smiled. You’d fallen right into her trap.

---

Exactly 72 hours later almost to the minute, you found yourself standing before the duo of childhood friends at the entrance of a town fair, your friend by your side.

Oikawa’s partner-in-crime was, to both your surprise and chagrin, even better looking in person. Kinder too, if you discounted the glare he shot at Oikawa when he introduced him mock affectionately as ‘Iwa-chan, his very best friend in the whole wide world’. You stifled a laugh as Iwa released Oikawa from a headlock, and introduced yourself politely to him noticing the very faint pinking of the ears that accompanied the softening of his expression as he shifted his attention to you.

A small fluster you couldn’t help but find cute was evident in his voice as he shared his full name - Iwaizumi Hajime. Strike one.

Strike two was the careful distance he left between you two as you walked through the street fair, just steps behind Oikawa and your friend who trekked confidently and comfortably linked hand in hand. His questions were respectful but pointed, like he truly wanted to get to know you as much as possible, and as he listened he leaned in just so, making sure to hear you clearly over the bustle of the busy crowds.

He helped you with your safety belts as you strapped in together on small thrill rides and you could catch his furtive glances in the corner of your eyes as you laughed and screamed.

A part of you wondered if it was too quick, if it was a bad omen that he already appeared smitten with you despite having just met. However, you had missed the feeling of someone liking you genuinely and explicitly so, dating back from even before you had started having problems in your last relationship, so you appreciated it wholeheartedly.

Strike three was him immediately setting a time and a date to meet again, without the hovering presence of your best friends, which he emphasized loudly to listening ears behind you (Oikawa made his disappointment at being excluded quite apparent by groaning loudly within earshot).

“I really enjoyed spending time with you today, ___.”

It wasn’t too much, wasn’t too little and wasn’t too soon.

“So did I.” You replied with a smile more genuine than you’d had for months.

---

Date two went as smoothly as date one.

Dinner and a movie, a classic. Iwa had chosen a psychological thriller that you had been looking forward to for a couple weeks and prior to meeting you’d started to text back and forth regularly about theories, so thereafter sprang forth endless spirited debates. As the evening progressed, you noticed him yielding earlier and earlier, and you noticed that he got quieter as the night went on, preferring to sit back and watch you talk. You couldn’t tell if it was the few cocktails with dinner but soon you were distracted by eyes that rested on you easily with an accompanied smile. It was enough to make your face grow warm.

“Am I talking too much?” You asked, sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I get like this when I’m excited.”

“I love hearing you talk,” he replied with a small laugh. “No one can talk as much as Oikawa so don’t worry.”

Your smile spread from ear to ear and you could feel your bruised heart grow ever so slightly.

---

Date three, four and five had you swept off your feet and you found yourself falling between hikes, picnics and aquarium trips.

Which was why when your friend called you to gloat about how she was right about you two all along, you realized just how deep you had fallen and almost instantly, that familiar fear that you had been nursing for the past year settled back into your consciousness.

You couldn’t bear another heartbreak. The thought of Iwa’s warm smiles becoming addictive and constantly craving the feel of his hands on your skin only to then be discarded like a participation ribbon hung heavy on you.

“I.. I don’t think I can keep seeing him,” you said, in sudden realization, despite the fact that you had been gushing about your dates just minutes earlier.

You could hear a pause on the other end of the line, and then your friend asked softly, “Is it because you still miss him?”

The other him. Of course you did, you still lived in the apartment the two of you had shared right after college, having given yourself multiple excuses not to move out. You hadn’t even bothered to change the decorations you’d bought together and thus every part of this place reminded you of him.

You even watered the plants he had left behind every morning. You couldn’t tell if it was because you had grown attached to them or worse - because you thought maybe, just maybe, if he ever came back, he’d want to know that you were always nursing your love.

“I’m… not sure,” you replied.

Your friend sighed audibly into the phone.

“You’re missing out on someone great, but I’ll support you regardless.”

---

Your graduate classes ended late the next evening, and you stumbled into your apartment with mild exhaustion, kicking off your shoes and slipping off your jeans before plopping on your bed.

Iwa had said he wanted to come see you, and even though just a few days ago you had been excited at the prospect of spending time with him in your own home, your stomach fluttered with a different type of alarm when you considered the fact that if you were to tell him you were no longer interested in letting whatever was between you bloom, it would have to be now.

Would it be better to tell him over text message or on the phone or in person? You didn’t want to see the look on his face when you hurt him; you knew it would change your resolve.

If you called him on the phone, would you be able to withstand hearing the disappointment in his voice? Would he demand a reason, and would he tell you your weak one wasn’t enough?

If you sent him a simple text and then blocked his number, would you be the awful person too chickenshit to say the words to his face?

Your phone buzzed just as you were paralyzed with your choices.

I’m 20 minutes away. How was your class?

You froze.

20 minutes to make a decision. Would you have him come all this way just to drop him without a very good reason in the comfort of your own home?

You stared at your phone for five minutes longer, perseverating, only to be startled out of your trance when you saw his name flash over the front. You forgot you had read receipts on; it had never been a problem before.

“Hey, are you okay?” His voice dripped of concern. “You read but didn’t answer.”

“Y-yeah, of course! Class was good… I’ll see you in a bit.”

---

You soon wished you hadn’t let Iwa into your apartment. Now that he was here snuggled with you on the couch, close enough that you could take in his scent, all you could think of was the thought of his lips on yours.

5 dates and you hadn’t yet kissed. Maybe that was for the best, you were planning to break up with him anyway, weren’t you?

You weren’t exactly sure when you had crept so close to each other, but your head now rested gently on his shoulder and his hand had at some point snaked around your waist to pull you against him. You could feel your heart pound in your chest as you stayed close in the dark, and maybe you could feel his own heart beat, steady as his breathing despite the tension building in the air.

You had lost track of the plot of the movie on your flat screen long ago, too preoccupied with the flurry of potential ensuing scenes between you in your head.

What would stop you from going full speed ahead? The fear that you wouldn’t matter enough to him once months came to pass and he learned just how far short you fell from his perfect perception of you? Or that you would once again find yourself in darkness, wondering how many times you’d open your heart only to wish you had kept it guarded?

Or maybe it was the reality that you weren’t sure that you really wanted to move on?

Iwa was a good person, he didn’t deserve your hesitation.

He shifted ever so slightly beside you and in the backlight of the flashing scenes on the television screen, you could see his eyes settle on your lips.

“Is it okay if we-,” he started, only to be interrupted by the fact that you had already pulled him in by the shirt collar and were lost in the taste of him on your tongue. You could tell he was surprised, but Iwa leaned into your kiss, pulling you now fully onto his lap and holding you steady by the waist as the two of you made out.

Your hands crept up to his face, fingers gently trailing then cupping the curve of his jaw, and the longer you kissed, the more of him you wanted. When his hands started to tug just slightly at the edge of your shirt to warn you he was going underneath, you tensed but nodded to allow him to palm a breast and roll a nipple between two fingers.

A soft moan left you, renewed when Iwa’s lips left your mouth to kiss a spot just before your earlobe, and his other hand pressed firmly into the small of your back to secure you even closer to him, close enough that you could feel his bulge pressing through his jeans and against your body. Knowing that you could feel him, he whispered breathily into your ear:

“I won’t continue if you don’t want me to.”

Did you want him to continue?

You pulled back from him to study his face, glowing with an earnest desire for you and suddenly you felt so guilty.

“I… I think we should stop here,” you choked out, ignoring the warmth in your cheeks and the flicker of disappointment in his face, and you slowly climbed off him, embarrassed as you stood on your feet.

He didn’t ask why and replied with acceptance.

“Okay.”

---

What he didn’t accept was you finally telling him you no longer wanted to see him in a text message hastily conjured in the middle of the night after a particularly hard day.

He called immediately and you let the phone ring, biting your lip the entire six rings it took for him to give up. He didn’t leave a voice message, but sent you a short text.

I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Can we please talk?

You fought back the urge to cry as you turned over to go to sleep.

He called again in the morning, and when you ignored his call for a second time, the unreasonable part of you waited for a follow-up voicemail or text message which never came. Good for you. You couldn’t understand your own feelings right now and you didn’t deserve to have him sort them out for you.

At least if you acted like a bitch, he would drop you before you could change your mind.

---

“A text message? Really?”

Your friend had dropped by the following Saturday morning for brunch and while you had dreaded this conversation, you had expected it to happen and steeled yourself for the admonishment. You shrugged, avoiding looking at her in the eyes and focusing on watering the plants at your windowsill. Your friend watched you carefully, irritation bubbling within her in response to your stubborn silence.

“I wouldn’t be so insistent if I knew you didn’t like him, but you do! Everyone can see it!”

You didn’t reply, opening your blinds instead. Plants needed lots of sun in addition to water.

“___, I didn’t want to be harsh but he’s not coming back. Even if it’s not with Iwa, please… please get over him.”

You finally turned and gave her a meaningful look, tears now coming to your eyes. Your friend’s mouth fell slightly ajar and realizing just how harsh her truth had been, she got up from your kitchen table and walked over to you to envelop you in a hug as you came undone.

---

A total of three weeks passed, and you finally admitted to yourself that you missed Iwa but it was clearly too late to fix anything. Calling him up would just get you ignored (and rightfully so) and you couldn’t bear to send another text message after ghosting him. Instead you watered your ex’s plants and focused on your classes.

Your best friend had forgiven you for your cruelty even though she let you know she was still suffering from Oikawa’s wrath on your behalf, so instead you decided to distract yourself by going out with other friends and picking up new hobbies.

A girl you were getting to know from class was very excited about a new high-end gym that had opened with nice amenities including a pool and a sauna and free physical training sessions with membership so you indulged her by going as a guest on a weekend.

You had to admit that the place was beautiful, and you made a beeline for the elliptical, a tried and true contraption. She had been making a fuss about one of the instructors being attractive which you had in all honesty paid very little attention to, until she dragged you by the arm to hiss into your ear.

“There he is, don’t look too obviously.”

You turned to find yourself staring straight at Iwaizumi Hajime, physical trainer.

“Oh shit, he’s looking at you,” she whispered, but you were already making your way to the exit. “Wait, where are you going?”

Your pace had gone from a walk to almost a run.

“____!” you heard him call behind you as you scurried as fast as you could off of the premises. Embarrassing. So, so embarrassing.

His voice was starting to sound aggravated, and your run stuttered to a standstill. What were you doing? Running from someone because you told them you didn’t want to date them?

He caught up to you in the parking lot and he no longer smiled; there was a tinge of mild irritation that graced his facial expression as he looked at you.

“Please stop running from me. You don’t need to make it awkward… I... I’m not thinking about it.” He glanced away at the last statement, but you knew he was being sincere while you were being ridiculous.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, and you thought maybe you would say more but he cut you off.

“You don’t have to be sorry. Have a good workout. If you need any help, I’m available, as are the other instructors.”

Professional and curt, he bowed before turning, and before you realized what you were doing, you found yourself tugging onto the sleeve of his shirt to hold him back. When he looked back to you again, while he didn’t give you the fierce scowl he reserved for Oikawa, his expression was still harsh as he looked down at you, waiting to see what you had to say.

What did you want to say? You already said you were sorry, there wasn’t much else to add.

Words failed you and you recoiled ever so slightly. He sighed audibly, and turned fully to face you.

“___, please don’t play with my feelings.”

You deflated as he waited just a few more moments for you to come up with the courage to say you still wanted him, and when you were unable to come up with the words, he bowed again, and returned to the building.

Moments later, you texted your friend to tell her you were sorry, but you were going home immediately.

---

It was a few minutes past 9pm and you had all but forgotten the sting of Iwa’s words as you focused on homework, listening to lo-fi music to help you concentrate. Your phone buzzed once, and you expected maybe your classmate to yell at you again for ditching her, but instead you found a message from Iwa.

I’m sorry for speaking to you that way.

Your heart thumped hard once in your chest, and you flipped your phone over to get back to work, but it was too late. Your concentration was shot for the night.

I’m ready to listen to whatever you have to say, a second message read.

What would happen if you wore your heart on your sleeve just one more time?

Iwa called you before you could call him, and this time you picked up, breathing a hesitant “Hello?” into the phone.

“___, I like you. A lot,” he paused, as those words sank into your heart. “I’m sorry, I wanted to get that out of the way.”

“I do, too,” you replied just as quickly.

Another pause. You swallowed hard and continued,

“I just don’t want to hurt you.”

His reply was fast. “You couldn’t if you tried.”

You frowned. “You don’t understand… I still think I have some unresolved feelings for someone else, and I just… I don’t want to wrong you in the long run.”

Another pause. You pressed your eyes shut, anticipating the worst, whatever it was. It felt as though you were on the line for ages, until suddenly Iwa finally spoke.

“Try me.”

“What?” Your shock was audible, and he repeated himself.

“Use me if you need to.”

You couldn’t believe what he was saying.

“But-”

“I know we’ve only been seeing each other for a short time, but I can’t explain it… I know I’m willing to risk it.” The confidence in his voice was almost shocking, and it made your heart swell.

“Hajime…”

“May I come over?”

---

The conversation ended with Iwa promising you that he’d make you forget your ex, your faces now just inches from each other, him hovering above you as you laid on your back in the comfort of your bed, eyes feasting on his exemplary physique. Starting up where you left off just three weeks prior, you held onto him for dear life as his hips rolled against you, his body pistoning into you carefully and precisely, his hands gentle and steady, and both of your hearts full.

If you were worried about using him, then don’t. Use him as much as you need to. He was giving you permission, is what he said.

Would you take advantage of him?

Now that you were in his embrace, you found it unlikely: for the very first time in a year, you knew that while you weren’t in love yet, you could feel yourself falling very, very soon.

#iwaizumi x reader #iwa x reader #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi hajime x reader #hajime x reader #hajime iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu x reader #mae.writing #haikyuu!#not sfw #series: be my last

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fireinmywoods · 3 years

Note

You've mentioned before that Bones pretty much never calls Jim anything but "Jim." Do you think it's significant that at his birthday party, Bones has everyone toast to "Captain James T. Kirk," and not to "Jim"?

Well, he’s not “Jim” to all those folks, is he?

Sure, during informal downtime like this or a Meaningful Moment while on duty, one of the captain’s inner circle might occasionally call him by his given name - but Leonard knows at the party that he’s speaking to a room full of people who look at James Tiberius Kirk and see their captain first.

Oh, granted, he’s their much adored captain: the captain who traded his life for theirs, the captain they’d gladly follow into hell because he’s proven that he has what it takes to get them out the other side. Any one of the people in that room would jump in front of a phaser blast for him. (In fact, Uhura effectively did just that earlier in the movie.) They admire him; they trust him with their lives; they are fiercely devoted to him. They love him, each in their own way - the senior crew especially - and they know that he loves them in return.

But none of them love Jim the way Leonard does.

They couldn’t if they wanted to, because none of them know Jim like Leonard does. The crew has been through a whole hell of a lot with their revered captain, but Leonard is the one who’s seen him at his worst, at his weirdest, at his lowest and loneliest and most unguarded. He alone has scraped Jim off bar floors and put him to bed on the couch under his granny’s quilt to sleep it off and been awoken the next morning by the melodious sound of hangover puking in the head. He alone has stuck steadfastly by Jim’s side since the day he met the already disreputable bar brawler on the shuttle, took in the busted face and the bloodstained shirt and the small empty smile that didn’t reach those absurdly blue eyes, and decided they were two of a kind. He alone devoted himself to Jim long before that was a popular or even justifiable thing to do, before Jim had proven himself to Starfleet or his peers, before it became unmistakably clear that Jim Kirk was going to Be Somebody.

Leonard loves Jim in a different way than his fellow crew members do, shares a different kind of bond with him, and he’s a touch protective of that love and that bond. I wrote recently that Jim mostly refers to Leonard as Dr. McCoy to the rest of the crew because Bones isn’t really for anyone else. Well, the same holds true in the other direction. Leonard sees only Jim when he looks at him, always, no matter the situation, but he’s not necessarily eager to share him with the rest of the class. The crew can have Captain James T. Kirk, so long as Leonard never loses Jim.

Consider this: Jim’s birthday isn’t exactly a secret. Everyone on the Enterprise knows that Jim was born the same day as his father’s famously heroic sacrifice, the same day as an historic event they literally study at the Academy. Every idiot in Starfleet knows that date, at least in the abstract. But Leonard is the only one who understands Jim’s complex relationship with his father’s memory, because Leonard is the only one Jim’s ever been willing to open up to about it. So it’s Leonard who makes a point of acknowledging Jim’s birthday even though he knows from all their years of shared history that Jim would have him ignore it, and it’s Leonard to whom Jim ruminates on what it means for him to be turning 30, and it’s Leonard who says to him: “You spent all this time trying to be George Kirk, and now you’re wondering just what it means to be Jim.”

Leonard cares more than anyone else on the crew about Jim finding the answer to that question, because it’s always been Jim he’s concerned with first and foremost. He’d follow him anywhere - hell, death itself, or even (shudder) New Vulcan - not so much because he trusts him as a captain, but because he wants to be where Jim is. If Jim were to decide to leave the great Captain Kirk behind and instead take on the role of a vice-admiral or an Academy instructor or a goddamn pig farmer, Leonard would be right behind him, grumbling the whole way and death-glaring anyone who suggested he didn’t actually have to follow Jim’s lead if he was so aggrieved about it.

Not that that’s likely to happen any time soon. Jim is an outstanding starship captain: it’s a role perfectly suited to his strengths and passions, and (outside of the odd existential crisis) it’s deeply fulfilling and gives him both the community and the sense of purpose he’s been chasing his whole life. Leonard understands that even better than Jim does; thus the party. But at the end of the day, captaincy is only a role, a means to an end, and Leonard is far more devoted to the man than to the chair. He just wants Jim to be happy - and to be happy, he just wants Jim.

I want to be clear that in no way am I seeking to devalue the relationships Jim has with all the other folks at the party. The Enterprise crew is a textbook case of found family, and Jim and Leonard both have incredibly rich and meaningful relationships with many other people. And at the end of the day, they are a family which exists because they are a crew, because they’re stuck with each other for (at minimum) five long, crazy, claustrophobic years, because they have been through no end of shit together, because their bonds and sense of shared identity are what keep them alive and sane and kicking ass as the very finest crew in the Fleet.

And, like many families, they will change, grow, and scatter over the years. Alone or in pairs, crew members will take promotions, accept new assignments, or retire from active starship duty. Many of them will prioritize remaining with these people on this ship for as long as they can, but eventually even Captain Kirk himself will leave the command chair, and life and duty for his hundreds of former crew will go on. The core group will almost certainly come back together occasionally, professionally and otherwise, but in the times between, their bonds be stretched across lightyears, a little muted and faded by the immediacy of daily life. Everyone is the hero of their own story, after all, and those stories will take them through new places and new adventures and new relationships and, yes, new families too.

Jim and Leonard are a different kind of family. They became that for each other long before they came onboard the Enterprise, and the essence of their relationship is unaffected by pesky details of rank or mission. Leonard will never accept reassignment or seek advancement if it means going somewhere without Jim. He’s a doctor, not a ladder-climber, and he’s never been especially passionate about Starfleet or its mandate. He’ll stay on the Enterprise as long as Jim does, and when Jim leaves, he’ll follow him wherever he goes next. Simple as that.

(I have a...complicated...relationship with the comics, but I’d be remiss not to note here that of all Jim’s tight-knit and loyal crew, Leonard is the one who ships out with him on the Endeavour in the Boldly Go comics - even taking a demotion to do so - not long after the birthday party in question.)

You may have noticed that I haven’t even touched on the capital-L Love aspect of things. The birthday party is pre-paradigm shift, by my reckoning, and I honestly believe that all of the above holds true whether or not you imagine that they are inevitably headed toward romance. Leonard and Jim’s relationship is just different in AOS. Their friendship is older and deeper and more exclusive than in the original timeline. They’ve grown together in every way, become more integral to each other’s sense of self. They are simply different people than their TOS counterparts, Jim especially, and I’d argue that Jim being a different person has made Leonard a different person along the way.

But, as I so often say, that’s a post for another day.

#otp: bedside manner #kirk #mccoy #mckirk #fic related #star trek #aos #ask #anon #i really loved this ask anon! thank you for your patience - i wanted to get this one right.

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kareofbears · 3 years

Text

persona 5 strikers thoughts and feelings

This is going to be a long post. Like, the type of post you’d only really have time to read when you’re trying to sleep but you’re not ready to be unconscious yet so you’re just looking for something to do to spend your time with minimal effort.

So in 2018, a masterpiece was born into the world: Into the Spider-verse was released and it was amazing—it’s honestly the best spiderman movie we have without a doubt, and it’ll be very far into the future before Spider-verse is beaten as the best spiderman movie. Them’s the facts. Then in 2019, Spider-man: Far From Home was dropped. It’s a great movie! Great characters, great continuation of who these characters are and works fantastic as a continuation of a story. It’s really hard trying to take the torch of a previous movie (or in Marvel’s case, juggling twenty something movies) and come up with a new movie that both works on its own, as well as being the next step in this series of films. Thus, with that idea in mind, I think it’s kind of unfair to judge into the spiderverse and far from home, because these are two movies with two completely different objectives in mind.

Okay, so this is still a persona 5 strikers post, I promise, but the idea is the same: Persona 5 could basically do whatever it wanted—new story, new characters, new everything, and it’s just plain old awesome. However, Persona 5 strikers did not have that sort of freedom. It was bound to the original game, and it had its own rules and stuff it had to keep intact, characters they had to work with, and on top of that, it had to justify its existence as a sequel (lets pretend money doesnt exist lmfao).

SO, the big question is: did it do that? Did it justify its existence?

And my answer: holy fuck did it ever do that

I came into this game knowing the extreme bare minimum. I knew there was someone named Sophia, and i knew there was roadtrip, and i knew there were Personas. That’s my knowledge of it before i played it on the Switch. I should also clarify like, early on, that i was not expecting anything from this game. At all. I was the world’s biggest cynic of this game—if you scroll down my p5s tag far enough, youll just see me complaining about a game that hasn’t even come out yet. I was fully expecting to have this be a Waifu show, and any male character that isn’t Akira to just be shoved aside like some kind of nerd in a high school hallway, and i have never been more pleased to be wrong. In fact, i actually owe it an apology, because of how fucking rude i was for no reason!!! Because this game deserves everything to be honest.

Persona 5 strikers is, frankly, insane. Insane in the sense that it got to pull shit off that just would never have existed in the original game, because the original game is scared. It had to be as impressive as possible and garner as much attention as possible. Strikers does not have that problem—every single person who bought that game does not need to be convinced that persona 5 is a good game. They already played it. That means Atlus can just fuck around and have a good time, and man did they have a good time. There’s still scenes that still shock me if i think about it too hard, because i’m used to atlus having to follow this sort of rule set when it comes to persona 5 (or any of the main games im assuming, but i havent played them.) And on top of that, there’s still shit that’s Atlus Trademarked Branded in a good way. The style of story of story telling, and revealing the mystery that is so integral to what p5 is, is still there.

So, to make this even a little bit comprehensible, i will make a list!

First of all, What is this game?

In short, this game is an OVA of an anime. It’s bonus side content that has one thing in mind: to showcase these lovable characters more by putting them in fun situations. That’s it, and it is just phenomenal. That was the main point of, i’d say, like forty hours of the game. It’s just fun times with fun characters.

But to get deeper of what i think is happening, or what they were thinking during the development, is that this is a second opportunity. Persona 5 (as we all know) had a lot of problems, and we were not quiet about those problems. We yelled it all out, made posts, made complaints on every social media platform ever. And Atlus heard all of them, and Strikers is a way to mitigate those mistakes. Aside from being a fun OVA, Strikers also works to be a deeper exploration of these characters—more specifically, the characters that did not receive much in the original game. Creating this sequel is having the ability to redo what they felt (or to be more specific, we felt) in the original game while adding new ones. I will get to that in a second.

The format of the game

Absolutely brilliant to throw them on a road trip. P5V already forced us to experience Shibuya for 200+ hours, and im so glad that they didn’t do that again. Going from town to town, making us experience these new places alongside our favorite characters is so good, and it just makes sense. It’s fun, it’s lighthearted, and it’s actually shockingly good. But one thing i do want to talk about early on is the way the story unfolds and the villains that they use, and what they do with it because it’s very interesting.

So as we explore japan and stuff, we encounter jails, and with those jails comes an antagonist. This antagonist works to be a parallel to one of our characters. That character will find it in their hearts to feel bad for the antagonist, because the antagonist could have been them had the original game not happen. At first I thought all of the thieves were gonna get an antagonist, and i was really hyped for the ryuji one. And then came to hour forty of the game where i realized “yeah that’s not gonna happen. There’s just not enough time.” And i was right, and the game ended. But i am not salty at all, honestly, because the people who got a direct antagonist were: Ann, Yusuke, and Haru. (we wont count zen and sophie).

Is there a trend??? Yes. these are all characters in the original game that have received the worst treatment by atlus. The three of them are basically cast aside the minute they finished their original arc, and its horrible! BUT that’s why this is the path that atlus chose for them—to give them more depth, and screentime, and a way to show their inner self. That isn’t to say that the ones who aren’t those three (makoto, futaba, mona, akira, ryuji) didn’t get anything. Futaba still has her thing at the end with ichinose, and she was very prevalent and animated during the rest of the game. Mona and Akira have to be a focal points, that’s just the nature of the game. The other two though, I will talk about in depth in a second.

Makoto

Y’all i poke fun at shumako fans sometimes cause its kind of easy and fun, but i honestly love makoto. In my very first playthrough of p5 (my first ever jrpg game, first persona game, i had no idea what i was doing), i had only maxed out two characters: ryuji and makoto. And i know she had a lot of screentime and love in the original game which is great, but i truly felt like she was dissed in this game. Her only roles were

A driver

Someone to tell them “we don’t have a choice. Let’s keep going and see where this takes us.” (seriously, if you replay this game, you will see how much she does this)

Idk, i just wish she had more to do, especially compared to how much love they gave the other characters.

But let’s talk about some of the new characters!

Zenkichi

Damn you atlus. Damn you and your insistence at bringing in cop characters. I was fully on board with hating zenkichi, i was fucking ready for it. I was convinced that there was nothing they could do convince to like zenkichi. I was immune to their copaganda.

And then i ended up loving him, which makes me sad a little bit. I didn’t realize how desperate i was to have an adult who has a persona. Someone who wants the world to change just as much as they do, while still having that aspect of them that makes them adult. Like??? As someone who is technically an adult, its a breath of fresh air. An adult. Who fights. For justice. Using a persona. And god i love akane so much, and her obsession with the thieves (that scene is probably in my top ten fave scenes of the game). Also what i loved about zenkichi is that he fucking hates the cops!! He hates the system of the cops!! And thats why i actually really started to love him!! Because i thought it was atlus saying that the systematic problem of the police cannot be solved by one person, and zenkichi threw away his badge. I actually cried at that part!!

But then he became a cop again, and i was just :/ but as a character, i really love him to bits and would love to do a study on him, or at least use him as an outside pov. But! i absolutely love his persona, since im a les miserables fan hehe

Sophia

she’s probably my favorite new aspect of the game. I was ready to not like her—again, i just suck like that, lmfao—and when i saw her, i was scared that she was just another waifu. I mean, she was very cute after all. But then as the game went on, i thought she was a little too cute. And even further into the game, i finally slapped myself in the face and realized oh my god shes not a waifu. Shes a sister.

That blew my mind, im ngl to you. A female character that isn’t supposed to be romanced? By jove, what a miracle!

And she…is an amazing character. Im sorry, i just love her so much. I love her so much that she probably ranks as my fifth or sixth favorite character which is surprising even to me. Everything about her is delightful and invigorating. She’s funny??? Her comedic timing is amazing, and she has such chemistry with the rest of the team. She’s actually useful to the plot, and while her character design is a little too on the nose for me in terms of cuteness (i mean, good god she’s wearing oversized sweater to show how cute and tiny she is, and her hair has literal hearts in it), she is absolutely lovable.

But what i actually really wanna gush about for a second is sophia at the last stage of the game. You get the idea, i dont really like to get excited over things, so at this point i figured that there was nothing this game could do to shock me.

And then sophia had a persona awakening.

Like. holy fuck did i yell. I didnt realize what was happening until the music had already kicked in. and its just so fucking smart!!! Sophia??? The ai?? With no heart?? gOT A PERSONA???? AWAKENING??? BECAUSE SHE LEARNED WHAT THE HEART IS AND THE PASSION THAT YOU NEED IN ORDER TO GET A PERSONA??? I started crying honestly, because it was just so smart. And looking back on it now, its obvious!! Of course it would lead to this, it only made sense that the culmination of her character arc leads to her getting a persona, nothing else would have been as good. Also, her voice actor is just amazing?? When she was talking to ichinose at the end, i actually got incredibly emotional because of the line reads. Its just so spot on and it really captures the essence of sophia.

Muah. five stars Atlus. You got me.

Ryuji <3!!!!

Oh man. Oh boy. Okay. so where do i start.

Yall know i love him. Hes probably my favorite fictional male character of all time, and he is the one i was the absolute most cynical about in this game. I was expecting literally nothing. Nothing. Like. nothing. I thought he was just gonna keep being used as a joke, or a gag, and he’s gonna be super horny all the time for the other girls and it was gonna make me mad and there was gonna be some insane homophobic/queerphobic jokes in every other scene and i know i was being unfair, but i cant help it.

And then i played the first two hours of the game, and i cried the entire time. Because ryuji has never been better than he is in this game. Its crazy.

The ryuji in persona 5 strikers is who ryuji should have been/how he should have been treated this entire time. From the actual funny jokes (for example, the gold bar joke + his reaction to it in the beginning of the game), defending his female friends instead of being the one people need to defend from (natsume arc), and the fact that he was the one to be there with morgana and akira in the very beginning of the game. Its such a small thing that they didnt even need to do, but it was such an integral part of the original game for me, that i just was convinced that nothing like this was going to happen. But then it happened. Its just small stuff like that that could have been overlooked but it wasn’t because this game? Persona 5 strikers? Fucking loves ryuji.

The actual respect they gave this boy is insane and i wasn't ready for it. Like, they gave the shujin trio lunch, they gave the little charm of the katana when they were in natsume’s jail, and, in my opinion this is the second-best thing that they could have given ryuji is sophia. Ryuji and sophia are the pinnacle of a brother & sister bonding relationship in the game that isn’t akira & futaba. And its really prevalent too?? Small stuff from the beginning of the game (pulling her out of a jail, calling her shorty), but then you have the iconic “shut the fuck up” scene, and that scene was so well characterized and written and voice acted, that somehow him saying “fuck” was the least exciting part of that scene to me. Ryuji is an older brother to her, like its undoubtable, and its only further cemented at the end of the game where Ryuji helps out ichinose because he knows how much sophia cares about her. This game. Love ryuji. And i love. This game.

You know what else i love? Akiryu.

Guys. i was fully prepared to starve in terms of akiryu. But theres just. So much of it. I wont get too deep into it, because i think this aspect of the game for me still needs marinate a little bit. Like, what was that last shot when EMMA died and Ryuji walked to approach Akira so they could relish in their victory together?? And the smile from both of them??? What the fuck. That was amazing. Also Joker being saved by Ryuji when he was about to fall from the cliff to save sophia??? WHAT. The LEADER AND HIS RIGHT HAND MAN? WHAT. anyway. If theres anything i want to keep for myself in my own brain, its the akiryu aspect of this game, so i wont talk too much about that part of things (instead, itll probably manifest in fic lmfaooo).

Sure, there’s tidbits of stuff i dont like that they gave ryuji: sexualizing ann in that one cut scene and making him touch the jails even though it hurts, and i recognize those and frown at them, but for the most part, i am blown away with how they treated him.

Basically, Ryuji has never been better. From the opening of the game with him being the first text message and the one to sling his arm around akira, to the very last cut scene where it was ryuji wordlessly leaving because he’s so confident that they would never be separated for long, this game adores Ryuji and i am so so happy to say that.

The Royal aspect of things

Yeah, i had to talk about this, but itll be a short thing i just wanted to point out. Because the last part of this game...is persona 5 royal. Which is curious. Like taking reality and giving that power to someone else so you dont have to experience suffering anymore? And even like, the final section just looked a lot like the top half of maruki’s palace?? And whats even crazier is that we had a boss fight with sophia, just like how we had a boss fight with sumire? Royal and Strikers have like, the same thesis statement. It’s kind of uncanny.It’s interesting, it’s like atlus came up with these two ideas, and then just decided they liked both of them so much that they just did it twice. I don’t mind though—actually, in terms of how the last Palace/Jails go, i probably like them both about equally.

Though i did love the final battle in this one more than i did in royal. Splitting into teams?? Thats cool as fuck, and really innovative and i didnt see it coming. It also kicked my ass. A lot.

Now for the last stretch: the small stuff!

The music — bomb as fuck. In my heart, Daredevil is ranked the same as Rivers. Axe to grind is also amazing, but Daredevil owns me

Akechi — i really debated whether or not to talk about him, but i figured a bullet point should be enough. Im really shocked that he wasnt in this at all. Like not even a name drop. If this is an OVA, and the point of the game is to please the fans, and akechi is arguably the fan favorite character, i was really ready for something. But there was nothing, except for the pancake hallway if that even counts as a reference. Thats it. Thats all i wanted to say about him.

The humour — FUCKING HILARIOUS im convinced that in my fifty hour playtime, five of that is dedicated to me laughing and unable to continue the game

Akira — so much personality! His lines of dialogue are crazy sometimes (like. Whats up with him saying Ryuji has ‘nice abs’ when they were in bath? Im crazy and even i dont know what the fuck that could mean)

Battle system — oh my god i almost forgot to talk about this. I love it! I kind of miss the turn based aspect just because i found it very comforting for some reason, but this hack and slash style of gameplay is so invigorating because i do feel like it justifies shit like the baton pass and huge attacks. This battle system fully encompases how the Phantom Thieves are supposed to fight, you know what i mean?

Anyway, thats my thoughts on strikers. Loved it. Amazing. 9.3/10, wouldve been higher but Konoe’s Jail almost bored me to death. Also im a monster and i didnt do any requests that isn’t a fun one, teehee. As if i play persona 5 for the persona aspect of things.

#cant believe im done #but you know what?#i was actually at peace when i finished it #so i consider that a good healty thing #p5s #alex plays p5s #mine #p5 #my moon and stars #the leader and his right hand man

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planesofduality · 4 years

Text

Dragon Age: Origins companion descriptions and dev notes from the game files

Just pulled this from the game’s character files. Gives some ages for characters (probably rough estimates, potentially retconned ), archetypes, writer-defined flaws, etc

Morrigan

Description

Morrigan lacks the will to care about most things enough to excite herself over them. Her primary concern is her survival. She has a difficult time relating to other people, and feels extremely vulnerable outside of the marsh. Her sense of humor is dark and twisted, and she finds the most morbid things amusing.

Her primary goal is to gain skills and knowledge and become a powerful sorceress in her own right. She believes that having a child with the PC's blood will give her access to this power.

Phonetic

More'-rah-genn

Age

Occupation

Witch

Morals

None at all. Morrigan learned morality from her abomination mother in the marshes where she grew up.

Appearance

A svelte, exotic-looking young woman with long black hair and large eyes. Her body is relatively thin and not strong.

Flaws

Morrigan has a difficult time relating to other people, and feels extremely vulnerable outside of the marsh

Skills

Is an accomplished witch; is skilled at wilderness survival.

Speech Patterns

Morrigan does not use contractions and speaks in what almost sounds like poetic verse.

Accent

None

Purpose

Companion and possible romance for the player

Relationship to Player

Party Member

Archetype

(Maybe change to "Cultural Background"?)

Demeanor

Morrigan is usually calm, collected, and fairly confident. Her charisma is fairly low--she prefers to remain in the background.

Personal Background

Morrigan was raised in the marshes by her sorceress mother, Flemeth, and had little contact with society proper.

She and Flemeth have a relationship more like servant and master than like mother and daughter.

She fears being rendered powerless (magically or personally).

Alistair

Description

A stern-looking young man with a strong chin. Very handsome. Some resemblance to King Cailan.

Phonetic

Al'-iss-ter

Age

Occupation

Grey Warden, bastard son of the king's father

Morals

Alistair has a strong moral sense that was taught to him in the church, but his bitterness makes him struggle with it.

Flaws

Alistair struggles with the resentment he feels over his birthright.

Skills

Trained as a paladin, Alistair can fight and has the ability to dispel magic.

Speech Patterns

His voice is deep but quiet. His tone sharpens into steel when required, but more often he is conciliatory.

Relationship to Player

NPC, companion, one of the only fellow Grey Wardens left after Loghain's betrayal

Demeanor

Generally self-depricating and conciliatory. Retreats into broody silence rather than raise his voice to be heard.

Shale

Description

Shale was created centuries ago, a female dwarven warrior who volunteered to undergo the magical process created by the master smith Caridin to become a golem -- literally her soul was put into a creature of stone, turning her into an unstoppable warrior. The process of creation is a grueling and agonizing one that uses forbidden blood magic, and the torture of it convinced Caridin that creating golems was morally wrong even if it involved volunteers. He refused to make more, and when the dwarven king attempted to force him he destroyed his forge -- or so everyone thought.

Most dwarves like Shale were lost in the wars against the darkspawn, and Shale was lucky to be found and reactivated by a human mage that brought her to the surface world. During his magical tinkering, however, he accidentally restored the memory of her creation, causing her to go berserk and killing him. This resulted in her becoming inert -- meaning she stood in the center of the village where the mage brought her, watching the villagers for thirty years as they thought her nothing more than a dead statue. When the player reanimates her, she realizes she is free-willed but remembers little else of her past.

Phonetic

as in "pale"

Age

500

Occupation

None -- formerly an inert yet aware statue

Morals

She is basically a good person, though she has little regard for the value of life and much prefers that the most direct action is taken in any given circumstance. Things like honor and love tend to complicate matters and irritate her, and she will seldom be understanding when they are given preference.

Appearance

A giant stone creature with crystals and runes all over his body. Shale is large enough that she must crouch to get through most doorways.

Flaws

She has lost touch with the fact that she was once a living thing herself -- and thus her value for life in general has eroded. She dislikes things that are frail and weak and tends to assume that all people she meets are flawed. Not that she believes herself to be perfect -- she is simply pessimistic about people in general, yet at the same time unconvinced that anything can be done to improve the matter. She has the perspective of a passive observer in this: having been an observer for so long, Shale has no idea what to do once the player reactivates her. She has no history and no purpose, and is thus lost.

Skills

Skilled warrior, also possesses the ability to augment magical energies around her (a buff for mages)

Speech Patterns

While Shale is technically female, her voice shouldn't be particularly feminine (the fact that she was once female actually comes as revelation partway through her plot) -- as a golem, the sound should be deepened and will require some processing to make it sound a bit unearthly (she does, after all, speak via magical means). As far as how she speaks, Shale tends to be somewhat sarcastic and pessimistic as a rule. When she banters, it is with a bit of bite and acidity to it, and she generally doesn't seem to care deeply about anything -- when she does, however, her voice should get a powerful and booming resonance to it.

Accent

Indiscernible

Purpose

comedic relief, party member

Relationship to Player

Companion

Archetype

Wizard of Oz-like Creature in Search of a Purpose

Demeanor

Shale has spent the last thirty years forced to helplessly watch a village as an inert statue, while the villagers want on with their lives around her unaware that they were being watched. This has made her quite cynical on the nature of humanity in general, and she tends to point out the flaws of others with acidity -- having been forced to watch quietly for so many years she has developed no "filter" and thus often says whatever is on her mind. She has free will now and is not afraid to use it, and thus will come across as independant and even precocious at times. It is important to note, however, that Shale is not malicious -- she was once a noble warrior and if anything her sarcasm and pessimism are come by honestly. The only things she truly reserves hatred for are birds. Forced to endure assaults by pigeons for decades she now plots revenge against them in almost comic book villain-like fashion.

Personal Background

Prior to being found by the player, Shale was a golem that was forced to serve anyone who held her control rod. Her last master died after experimenting on her magically, however -- which resulted in her becoming inert and forced to watch the village she stood in for 30 years. When activated, she discovered that her control rod no longer functioned and she had free will -- but had no idea what to do with it, and no purpose or history that she could remember. She accompanies the player out of a lack for better things to do, hoping to find something that is recognizeable and attempting to find a purpose to her existence -- which, from the player's perspective, will be to spend her time mocking everything around her and being pessimistic about their chances for success. Thankfully, she is excellent at battle and quite eager to leap into any fray. Shale doesn't care much for folks, after all, so laying into them with stony fists doesn't much bother her.

Cultural Background

Although Shale was once a dwarf from centuries ago, before the dwarven kingdoms fell to the darkspawn, her memories prior to the last thirty years is hazy at best. She is familiar with modern life, although she feels very much as an outsider amongst it and has no traditions of her own. Indeed, she is not even aware she is a dwarf (or female) until the player encounters Caridin.

Oghren

Description

Once a warrior of considerable reputation, Oghren fell apart when his wife -- the Paragon smith, Branka -- abandoned him to go chasing after her obsessions in the Deep Roads. Oghren became a drunkard, and his normal irreverence became a foulness that managed to alienate almost everyone he knew. Oghren is foul-mouthed, contentious and completely inappropriate even at the best of times. Indeed, he acts like this knowingly and no longer cares whom he upsets. He remains obsessed with mounting an expedition to find Branka, but has almost given up on the idea since no-one will pay any attention to him any longer.

Phonetic

Ogh'-rinn

Age

Occupation

Warrior-caste dwarf, meant to serve as a guard or as a soldier to protect Orzammar. He's essentially exiled or "fired" from that role when the player arrives.

Morals

He kills and loves and drinks and farts and insults at will and likes to put forward an image that he doesn't care about morals -- truly, however, he has a sense of decency and wouldn't do anything that was truly wrong except by accident.

Appearance

Dirty, mighty, possibly gross. Long natty beard.

Flaws

He says whatever's on his mind, which is usually the worst possible thing to say. He also has a temper that can get him into trouble.

Skills

Fighting. Lots and lots of fighting.

Speech Patterns

Quick to anger, Oghren is often losing his temper over something. He is just as quick to laugh boisterously or to tell a rude joke at the most inappropriate time. He adores poking people's buttons, and the easier they are to upset the more he will enjoy doing it. He the crude, salt of the earth type, though it should always be in a good-natured way. No matter how foul he gets, he should always ultimately be likeable.

Accent

Dwarven

Purpose

Comedic relief and party member

Relationship to Player

party member

Archetype

Boisterous Drunken Warrior

Demeanor

Drunken, aggressive, and innappropriate. Usually rude, sometimes sad.

Personal Background

Oghren married the brilliant smith Branka, and when she was elevated to the status of Paragon her entire family was made into a new clan. Oghren proudly headed the clan at her side, but eventually Branka took her entire clan and headed into the Deep Roads in search of ancient dwarven treasures despite his objection. Oghren angrily remained behind and after hearing nothing of Branka has tried many times to get a search party put together -- despite the fact that is marriage to Branka was already over. He has since had the right to bear arms stripped from him and become a drunken loser, so when he encounters the player this is his first chance at actual redemption (though he is far too proud to admit this).

Cultural Background

Dwarf from Orzammar, member of the Warrior caste

Wynne

Description

Wynne is a spirit healer from the Circle of the Magi. She has served the Circle for most of her life and is a well-respected mentor and mage. Wynne has very strong morals and sense of duty. She believes wholeheartedly in what the Circle does and believes that through discipline, learning, and wisdom, mages can learn to control and use their gifts to serve Ferelden.

She believes that fear of magic stems from a lack of understanding. She is careful in her speech and carries herself with dignity because she knows that she will be judged as a mage firstly, and wants to present herself as someone who is to be respected, but not feared or reviled. Wynne was saved from death by a Spirit of Faith which has now bonded to her and sustains her. The spirit is weakening and when it can no longer sustain her, Wynne will die. She knows this and has made peace with it.

Phonetic

win

Age

Occupation

Circle Mage

Morals

A noble person. Compassionate. Believes in the goodness of humans in general, thinks everyone can be good, if they are just given a chance and shown the way.

Appearance

Older woman with grey hair. Neat and well-groomed. Has aged gracefully, good-looking in a mature way.

Flaws

Tendency to mother everyone. Lectures. May be disapproving and cold to those she doesn't agree with.

Skills

Wynne is sustained a Spirit of Faith, which she may summon to help the party, or meld with completely to become a warrior form.

Speech Patterns

A quiet voice with warm tones. Speaks thoughtfully, never raises her voice. Sounds very learned, almost noble.

Accent

Standard accent, possibly British-sounding. Educated.

Purpose

Follower, Plot Giver - Save the mages in the Broken Circle.

Relationship to Player

Mentor

Archetype

Wise old wizard advisor

Demeanor

Calm, a voice of reason. Does not lose temper easily. Genuinely warm and friendly. Proper and polite.

Personal Background

Taken to the Circle at a very young age. Excelled at magic, especially healing magic. Very sensitive to the spirits of the Fade. Because of her talent, she was given the role of mentor at fairly young age. She accepted this role but bungled the job due to hot-headedness and an inability to empathize with the student who was assigned to her. The student finally escaped the Circle and Wynne believed him dead and blamed his death on her treatment of him. This guilt has informed her actions ever since and she has become a very warm, caring and empathic person, always able to see things from another's point of view.

Some time in the past, Wynne also had a son. However, because mages are technically not allowed to marry or have children, her son was taken from her and given to the Chantry to raise. She does not speak of this often and only reveals this to Alistair.

Cultural Background

Circle Mage from Ferelden

Dog

Description

Dog is a mabari dog, a highly intelligent wardog. The player will get to name Dog.

Phonetic

dawg

Age

Occupation

Wardog. Fetches things.

Speech Patterns

Barks

Purpose

Loyal companion

Relationship to Player

Loyal companion.

Cultural Background

Ferelden Mabari Dog

Leliana

Description

Leliana spent much of her life in the service of the Orlesian court as a bard -- an entertainer who traveled the land and doubled as a spy and sometimes assassin. Over time, her deeds left her with the feeling that she was not built for such a life. She felt guilty about the wrongs she had done, and eventually fled her masters in court. This meant secretly fleeing to the east and hiding out in a small convent in the Ferelden town of Lothering. There she found her calling, entering the sisterhood and beginning what she thought would be a life of religious contemplation and -- she hoped -- some measure of peace with her past. While there is a deeper side to her, a very spiritual side where she tries earnestly to look for meaning in even the most mundane things, on the surface she comes across as cheerful and witty and perhaps even a little flighty. Ultimately she is a voice of good and will try her best to steer others around her in the right direction.

Phonetic

LEL-ee-AH-nah

Age

Occupation

Bard, spy

Morals

Her concept of good is more 'nice' than 'good' (e.g. would let one seemingly penitent bandit go to be nice, rather than turn him in for his crimes)

Appearance

Red hair, pale, slender

Flaws

Has flights of fancy, hard to take her seriously. Sometimes a little too whimsical for her own good.

Skills

Singing: Leliana will sing several songs throughout the game. She should have a sweet voice, suited to folk songs.

Speech Patterns

Melodic, warm, maybe a little husky. There should be a slight lilt to her speech.

Accent

A hint of a French accent, but not to the point of caricature.

Purpose

Companion, Romance

Relationship to Player

Party member and potential romance interest

Archetype

Good Girl With a Past

Demeanor

Cheerful, sassy, charming. Flighty, loves making up stories about things and people.

Personal Background

Leliana is originally from Ferelden, but spent most of her youth as a companion to a noblewoman in Orlais. As a young lady she was brought under the wing of a bard-master called Marjolaine, who groomed her to be a bard and spy. Leliana's charm and her disarming manner made her extremely successful in her work in the noble courts of Orlais. She enjoyed her life as a spy, but something went wrong and Leliana was forced to flee to Ferelden. She took refuge in a cloister in Lothering, hiding for years and becoming Affirmed in that time. Also, she has begun to believe that the Maker has not left the world and that he in fact speaks to her through signs and omens. Her beliefs put her at odds with the Chantry but she clings to them nonetheless.

Cultural Background

Fereldan, brought up in Orlais.

Teyrn Loghain mac Tir

Description

Loghain was born a farmer during a time when his country was under foreign occupation. When he was still a boy, he joined the resistance, where his considerable tactical genius quickly became apparent. He became close friends with Prince Maric, the last true heir to the Ferelden throne, and together they led the rebells to drive out the invading forces of the Orlesian Empire. Maric raised his friend to the nobility, and Loghain is almost more of a symbol to his people than a man: He represents the Ferelden ideals of hard work and independance.

But the war has never truly ended for him. He sees Orlais waiting in the shadows for a chance to strike again. And now, with his friend's death, he's left to defend their land all alone. Fearing King Cailan's plan to ask for Orlesian aid against the Blight, Loghain leaves the young king to die on the field at Ostagar. Now he's trapped in a downward spiral as he struggles to save his kingdom, but every action he takes only brings it closer to ruin.

Phonetic

Tay'-ern Lo'-gayn mac teer'

Age

Occupation

Regent of Ferelden

Morals

To save Ferelden, at any cost

Appearance

Regal, manly, intelligent, mighty

Flaws

Obsessive, believes too firmly that his way is the only way

Skills

Strategy, a fine warrior in his own right

Speech Patterns

Loghain is a gentleman farmer-turned-general and hero. He's charismatic, down-to-earth, and radiates a confidence that draws others to follow him. His lifetime as a soldier has given him a guarded demeanor that's easy to mistake for being callous.

Accent

Ferelden

Purpose

Villain for much of the game, possible follower

Archetype

Conniving hero-turned-villain

Demeanor

Cunning, sly, charismatic

Personal Background

A farmer's son, Former war hero, strategic counsel to Kings Maric and Cailan, betrays Cailan in battle

Cultural Background

Ferelden

Sten

Description

The platoon he led to investigate the Blight was ambushed by darkspawn, and he alone survived, badly wounded. Looters found him and stole his belongings. He was rescued by farmers and when he awoke alone and without his sword (equivalent to a Spartan losing his shield) he panicked, killing the entire family. He then gave himself up to the villagers. He joins the player only because he hopes to regain some measure of his lost honor by dying in battle against the darkspawn that slew his men.

Phonetic

stehn'

Age

Occupation

Warrior. He wants to regain the honor he lost in killing the family by fighting the Blight.

Morals

Very strong

Appearance

A giant of a man with white hair and golden skin, very muscled and with unusual eyes. This is fairly typical of the qunari -- they are the bronze giants, great philosophers and scientists.

Skills

An excellent fighter.

Speech Patterns

He is a man of few words -- literally, as he is unlikely to respond to questioning from a "lesser" being with anything but terse sentences. He will use qunari words sparsely in his lines without necessarily explaining them, and speaks in rather clipped tones as if speaking is unpleasant for him. He actually just isn't very confident speaking languages other than qunari.

Accent

Qunari

Purpose

Follower

Relationship to Player

Party member.

Archetype

the Philosophical Alien

Demeanor

Sten is a laconic smartass, he presents a stoic, practical face to the world, and speaks as if he has only so many words allotted for his entire lifetime, yet he can't resist the chance to say something sarcastic. He's actually somewhat soft-hearted, though he hates if anyone notices this, and typically expresses affection for his companions by needling them. For the most part he gets by appearing gruff and unfriendly.

Personal Background

He spent most of his life fighting in the island's perpetual three-way war between the Imperium, the qunari, and the Tal-Vashoth. When he was sent with a small group of qunari warriors to evaluate the rumored Blight in Ferelden, they were ambushed by a group of darkspawn, which killed most of the party in the attack. Pillagers then stripped them of their valuables, thinking they were all dead. Some farmers found him and nursed him back to health. When he awoke, his sword was missing. Since Qunari warriors can't return to their kith without their sword (it’s assumed that a warrior who comes back alive without it discarded it to run faster in deserting the battlefield), he panicked. Thinking the farmers had robbed him, he killed the entire family. The player finds him in a cage outside Lothering, waiting to die.

Cultural Background

Sten is a Qunari, a member of a race that is foreign to this part of the world and whose people were at war with the human races for over a century before agreeing to a peace which has turned into an almost permanent détente. Still, the Qunari live quite a distance away from the part of the world where this game takes place… so someone like Sten is a curiosity more than an object of hatred. The Qunari are fanatical devotees to their religion, which compels them to dominate other races in order to improve them and bring them order. They are technologically advanced and hold magic in contempt, and this lends Sten an air of superiority over the other races around him. He is snide and superior – even while at the same time he is grim and subdued due to the fact that he has failed at the mission he was given. His failure, however, is between him and his conscience. It is not the place of lesser beings to speak with him about it.

Zevran Arainai

Description

Zevran is a member of the infamous Calabrian guild of assassins known as the Crows, though not by choice -- he was sold as a young slave to the Crows and trained to become one of their operatives. While he has worked as an assassin in Calabria, his first major assignment was to come to Ferelden and hunt down a surviving Grey Warden -- who just happens to be the player. Upon being defeated by the player, Zevran leaps at the opportunity to offer the player his allegiance in exchange for a chance to escape from the Crows once and for all.

Phonetic

ZEV-ran' AIR-ah-nye

Age

Occupation

Assassin

Morals

Few -- Zevran was raised in a whorehouse and trained from a young age to become an assassin. The only morals he possesses are those that lead to less complication for his job.

Appearance

Pale, slicked-back hair, has many tattoos (a feature of the Calabrian Crows), quite handsome and roguish.

Flaws

Hides his true feelings behind his bravado, doesn't believe in personal attachments. He is ultimately loyal only to himself.

Skills

An excellent thief, incredible agility, very knowledgeable with poisons.

Speech Patterns

Zevran is a suave, smooth operator. He tends to speak in a seductive and playful manner, playing the lothario whenever possible, and rarely gets upset -- if need be, he will become a silent, efficient killer but never lets his emotions get the better of him. Always practical and easy-going, he enjoys keeping others off-balance and on their guard.

Accent

Calabrian -- slightly Spanish, but not thick

Purpose

Romance for a female (or male). He is a pragmatic companion who is fine with immoral deeds and will betray the player late in the game unless the player has taken time to befriend him.

Relationship to Player

captured by the player and sworn into service in exchange for his life

Archetype

the smart-mouthed expert; the gigolo with a heart of gold

Demeanor

Often amused and light-hearted, rarely takes anything seriously except his job.

Personal Background

An orphan to a prostitute elven mother, raised poor and then sold to the Crows to become an assassin. He is virtually a slave to the Crows and eager to find a way to leave them without being killed.

Cultural Background

Calabrian (roughly equivalent of Spanish)

#dragon age #dao #occupation: witch #game file deep diving #alistair #leliana #morrigan #zevran #wynne #dragon age compendium

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aktiophis · 4 years

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Timing by the Stars: Days, Hours, and The Moon

This will be the first in a little miniseries of posts on astrological timing, specifically as it concerns the making of Talismans, but the principle could equally be applied to a one off ritual. Originally, I was just going to write one post but it got quite unwieldy to talk about so many different concepts all at once, so instead I’m starting at the beginning. I’ll get into more complicated things whenever I feel like writing them frankly, and I’ll probably edit this post with links when I do. (This part alone is long enough Jesus Christ)

It can be useful to think of the election you choose for a Talisman to be its time of birth. Someone born with a very dignified Venus will most often have an easier time doing Venusian things, to be very, very broad with the astrology. But the gist is; planet is more better=person is more good at planet things. Naturally, then, a Venus Talisman made when Venus was very strong and well placed will also be very good at Venus things, and thus good at whatever it’s purpose is. This is the basis of talismanic magic using astrology.

First, though, I’m going to talk about the barebones of astrological Talisman timing, namely the days and hours. I’m including the moon also because it’s the other key consideration for astrological magic generally.

The Days and Hours

[Credit: Digital Ambler]

It isn’t a coincidence that the planets in Romance languages are named after the planets. Even in English (and I would assume other Germanic languages although I’ve never checked, but if they don’t I’d be very surprised), the Gods for each day line up with their Greco-Roman approximate counterparts. As such, each day has an affinity for its namesake planet. That’s why so many spells call for a Friday, and so many curses for a Tuesday or Saturday. At the very most basic level of astrological timing, with no knowledge of anything else, this is how you would time a spell or Talisman, probably at some auspicious time like dawn.

Something not as well known by non-occultists is the concept of planetary hours. Unlike civil hours, these aren’t regular in length and have nothing at all to do with what time it says on the clock for the most part. Planetary hours are divided into two sections. Here are some points to get you the gist before we continue:

The planetary day starts at Dawn, so even if it’s 2:00am on Tuesday, you are in a planetary hour of Monday

The first hour of the day always corresponds to the planet the day is named after, in our example, at Dawn on Tuesday the first hour is Mars

There are 12 day hours, and 12 night hours. The day hours begin at sunrise and end at sunset, while the night hours begin at sunset and end at the sunset of the next day.

Each day hour is exactly 1/12 of the time from sunrise to sunset, and the equivalent for night hours.

The hours cycle in the Chaldean order, which is ascending mean speed:Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, the Sun, Venus, Mercury, the Moon

As you can see, there isn’t much the same between civic hours and the planetary hours. You can calculate these by hand, but if you’re like me and use them a lot there’s no need to bother because there are dozens of apps. For those curious, the Placidus house system can also be used to find the planetary hour, as each half of a house corresponds to a planetary hour. I deeply dislike using Placidus for natal astrology but for that reason I sometimes use it to find the planetary hours (not the houses, though).

These two things are the most basic considerations for Talisman making. For a Solar talisman, the hour of the sun on Sunday. Bam. Specifically, the first hour is often considered the best because it coincides with dawn/sunrise, i.e. the daily birth of the sun and illumination of the world with spiritual light etc. but any of the correct planetary hours will do the trick.

One thing to note is when I start getting into more complicated electional stuff, you might find a great election that isn’t in the right day or hour. By no means disqualify it because the day doesn’t fit. If Mercury is at the most powerful it will be for the next few months after but it’s a Friday and the hour of Mercury doesn’t fall within this very specific timeframe (Like say it’s Cazimi in Gemini, in its bounds conjunct the midheaven, or something, Idk), do it anyway honestly. You’ll never get everything to be just as you want it, and frankly days and hours come every day/week, and some things only happen once every 20 years.

The Moon

[credit: Honestly no idea]

That’s right, it’s not just for Wiccans! The state of the moon has been a big consideration for ceremonial magic, folk magic, you name it, for a long ass time. Even in astrological Talismans not concerning the moon, as the planet associated not only with magic but also with collecting and reflecting the ‘astral light’ onto the Earth, the condition of the moon is an important consideration.

Anyone who has read a 101 book on magic will have seen that “waxing to increase something, waning to decrease” thing, and that’s the gist honestly. For Talismans though, you want a waxing or full moon. The talisman might be protection against evil, but f you did it when the moon was a waning crescent it wouldn’t be the evil decreasing so much as the protective Talisman. I’m not going to discourage people from doing stuff in a waning moon, I do all the time, just be aware it’s not necessarily the best, especially in the case of Talismans and astrological magic. To be quite frank I feel like this can sometimes be overlooked as a factor, but if it’s an important thing it can wait until the moon is growing

Now, with just that and the days/hours you’re honestly pretty much set, but I’m writing this to eventually get onto more complicated things so there are some more bases I’d like covered.

The Lunar mansions are the obvious thing to talk about next. The Zodiac Wheel of 12 signs is intrinsically a solar schema for astrology. The beginning of the Zodiac at 0 Aries is at the moment of the Spring Equinox, when the days are equal to the nights. All of the cardinal signs, in fact, are so called because the next season of the year begins as the Sun enters them. There is, however, a similar system for the moon, of 28 mansions, each of just under 13 degrees, starting also with Aries. The Picatrix is what I’d direct you to if you want to read more about them specifically, especially since I haven’t used them in very much in practice.

The mansions were widely used in Arabic astrology, apparently quite often in electional astrology generally, not restricted to magic (as a side note, by all means study in the hour of mercury and treat-yo-self in the hour of Venus, even without magic. Tune into the rhythm). One mansion might be good for travel but could also cause strife between friends, while another might bring ill health but be good for buying livestock, that type of deal. It’s always worth checking if the time you have in mind for a Talisman happens with the moon in a favourable mansion for that purpose.

I will touch on this passingly because it really belongs in my next post, but if the moon is in a hard aspect with Saturn or Mars that can also be a bad omen for an election, although if the moon has good aspects or is particularly strong otherwise I would personally still do the thing because otherwise I would probably only do astrological magic once a year waiting for the perfect time.

Void of Course

This is something that frankly puzzles me to no end because half the resources I could find when I first looked into it clearly were using the phrase without having a clue what they meant, and the other half gave me a number of different definitions. I personally use the definition as given by the medieval astrology guide, whose site I’ll link at the end, because it makes the most sense to me.

All definitions of a Void Moon stem from the same basic idea, which is that the Moon will not perfect an aspect to another planet any time soon, sort of as if the moon is running in the dark on its own. The most common modern definition says the moon is void if it doesn’t perfect an aspect before leaving the sign it’s in, which basically means it happens every couple of days like Clockwork. I use a different definition (when I even remember to consider it) that is, the moon is not within orb of perfecting an aspect, without consideration as to the sign. So, by my definition, if the moon was leaving a sextile aspect with Saturn at say, 29 Aries, and was applying to a trine with Venus, even if it didn’t make a perfect trine before entering Taurus, the moon wouldn’t be void of course, because it was still in an applying aspect at the time. More broadly, I only consider a moon Void when it isn’t applying to an aspect (look into moiety for more on what I mean as far for more details on application). I encourage you to come to your own conclusions about this though, so don’t take my word for it.

[credit: Skyscript.co.uk]

A Void moon is generally bad for magic because to be literal the moon isn’t really doing anything much, at least as far as aspects go. That being said it isn’t something I look at unless I’m planning an important thing and I wouldn’t stress about it unless you were doing an important thing too. To be frank I often forget to even check what the moon is doing even for some slightly more important stuff.

And that is about it or what I wanted to cover, I think. The next post will probably be about Essential and Accidental Dignity, which was really what I wanted to write about in the first place, but here we are.

TL:DR

Time for the day of the planet

Time for the hour of the planet

Time for a waxing Moon

Avoid the Void moon

Some Useful Links/Sources (Some I didn’t even reference but they’re still good so I’m including them)

The Picatrix

www.sykscript.co.uk

www.Medievalastrologyguide.com

Secreti Geomantici (Great little geomancy book, also has useful things on timing. Thanks @nightjasmine for reminding me about it)

Hellenistic Astrology: The Study of Fate and Fortune, Chris Brennan (not about magic but this is just a great book on astrology overall, especially Hellenistic)

www.Rennaissanceastrology.com (I have issues with some of Warnock’s work, but his information is accurate and his site is great for these purposes)

(Looking back I suppose I could’ve just made a post of resources but I’m in too deep now).

#astrology #astrological magic #magick #magic #witchcraft #talismans #Just waiting for someone to say a void moon is good for calling on void energy or some shit #God if I've forgotten anything I'll just put it in the next one this was low key exhausting

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lov3nerdstuff · 4 years

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Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 3.5}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student (however no underage romance), blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 3.4k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

Previously:

The walk was luckily short and dark, and Robin found that she could enter the lab with the same spell as the classrooms indeed, but this time she made the effort to lock the door behind herself with the corresponding spell for once. Only then she felt like she could finally loosen the grasp on her bag, could finally allow herself to hurt, could take a true breath at last. The small space really had a calming effect on her, even now. She didn't bother lighting up the candles before she dropped her bag in a corner and sat down on the floor with her back against the side of one of the shelves. Having the wood pressing her jumper against her sore skin wasn't the most pleasant feeling, but sitting at last was enough of a relief to still allow a deep relaxation to wash over her nonetheless. Now that the adrenaline was slowly wearing off and the necessity to protect herself was withdrawing in her head, she felt surprisingly dizzy as she stared out of the window into the last bits of dark grey sky that were slowly taken over by blackness. Before she knew it, the blackness had swallowed her as well.

===============

The next thing Robin noticed was a feeling of heat and cold at once. And a terrible throbbing in her head. A small groan escaped her lips as her body felt like lead when she shifted from one uncomfortable position to another. Then her ears picked up on a movement to her right and her eyes fluttered open at last to see the lab being dimly lit by a soft glow coming from the fireplace. Right… she still was in Professor Snape's laboratory. Another faint groan left her lips as she realized that she really shouldn't have fallen asleep in here… even if it had been more of passing out than falling asleep in the first place. Then her eyes wandered through the room until they were met by dark ones observing her in return, and Robin jumped with a sharp intake of breath.

"I-I'm so sorry, I really… I mean I didn't-..." She started, but was interrupted before she could get out a proper apology.

"Stop." Was all he said at first, before he knelt down next to her with a roll of his eyes that didn't seem to be directed at Robin though. "Drink." He ordered as he held out a vial to her, giving Robin a serious déjà vu of her first year. But she obeyed nonetheless, not even bothering to ask what it was she was trying to keep down despite its horrible taste. Her body was hurting enough to currently put a pause to her curiosity, and she found that she trusted Snape enough at this point to do as he said without second thought. Curious, really… she hadn't really thought about it before, but now she was forced to notice that she did trust him indeed. She couldn't currently think of anyone she trusted more, in fact, but maybe that was simply due to her current situation and condition.

"I'm sorry." She tried again after a few seconds, and while he remained sitting on the ground a few steps away from her, his eyes were fixed on something on the other side of the room. "I really didn't mean to… pass out like that, or to-..."

"Stop. It. Now." He interrupted her again, pointedly slowly while still refusing to look at her, and Robin's heart squeezed painfully in anticipation of a thorough scolding or simply a row of insults. "Tell me what happened."

Finally something clicked in Robin's mind, seeing as the pain in her body slowly dimmed down, and she realized what must've gotten her professor so upset. She really could've thought of that earlier…

"Nothing, actually, I was surprisingly successful!" She started, deliberately positive in her tone, while getting up onto her feet so hastily that she felt dizzy again and swayed a little as her sprained ankle still hurt more than expected when she walked. Still, she quickly reached for her backpack in the corner, then turned back towards Snape who had gotten up as well and was now looking at her with an unreadable expression at last. Robin chose to ignore that though, for the sake of her attempt to prove that he indeed didn't have a thing to be concerned about, and moved over to the closest table to unpack her assigned purchases while she spoke on. "Sorry if my… current condition is a bit, well, battered, but this only happened after I returned from Hogsmeade and I'm very certain that nobody saw me like this until I came to your classroom. So… I didn't make any bad impressions and all that. More importantly, I was able to get all of the ingredients on the list in the shop you sent me to. Admittedly, the man there tried screwing me over by selling me Granian hair instead of Abraxan, but we sorted that issue out fairly quickly and I'm rather certain that he wouldn't have dared to give me the wrong ingredients a second time. However I still would prefer for you to confirm that, sir, seeing as I don't really know what I'm doing at all and I'm babbling again, so… I'll just shut up now."

Snape's expression was very much mixed, if not entirely unreadable again, as he looked at Robin and her hopefully positive half smile for a few more seconds, before taking two long strides to stand on the other side of the table Robin had put the seven items onto and was currently using as a support to keep from falling over. With a considering, sharp look that brought a shiver to Robin's skin, he studied the ingredients one by one, and only at last looked back to her on the opposite side.

"He did give you the correct ingredients, and very likely also the best one he had of each." He finally replied to at least the most important aspect of Robin's previous stream of words, and then raised his eyebrows in question. "He tried selling you Granian, you said?"

Now it was for Robin to straight out blush, seeing as she hadn't originally meant to tell him about that, but after everything else that had happened afterwards, she had kind of… forgotten. "Well, yeah, but only because I was being a dunderhead. I… kind of didn't tell him that you had sent me, at first, and I really just wanted to see how far I could get on my own."

"That was both stupid and dangerous."

"Yeah, I know…" Actually, she did get stupid, but dangerous she didn't really see. "That's why I said I was being a dunderhead… with too much pride and too little care. It won't happen again."

"Seeing as you were successful on your own however, I would be rather curious to know the specifics."

"Well, uh… He wanted to kick me out right after I entered the shop, I returned a rather bold insult directed at said shop, then he tried selling me the wrong things, I called him out, he apologized and brought out the correct ones, I glared at him some, he called me scary and assured me that those were the real deal, then I gave him your name and left." Robin stated without much fuss. There really wasn't a reason not to tell Snape about this if he wanted to know… and there he had the short version.

"How did you know that he was trying to cheat you?"

"I honestly didn't. I made an educated guess about the hairs, seeing as they were the only thing I recognized from that book of yours I read two weeks ago, and that sufficed for him to believe I knew what I was doing. Admittedly, I would've preferred to… you know… actually know what I'm doing instead of bluffing, but for today that had to be enough."

"That is… remarkable." He stated neutrally, and Robin believed she had misunderstood him. Had he really just said that she had done something even remotely good?!

"I hope I will be better prepared next time, I…" She halted, then averted her eyes down to the table in the realization that it was very much possible, if not likely even, that there wouldn't be a next time. "Nevermind."

"You will be." He replied a few seconds later, and even though he still seemed to make more efforts than usual to stay completely neutral, his words still brought a small smile to Robin's entire face as he continued. "Now, would you please sit down before you faint again? The way you claw at the poor table is… just pathetic."

Now that sounded more irritated, if not irritable, than his previous statements and therefore Robin didn't mind being called pathetic for once. It very likely was just another occasion of Snape not knowing how to be nice without making it look like he was being nice, and she was getting used to it even though she couldn't say she deemed it an acceptable behavior. But who was Robin to openly judge a professor, or anyone but herself really… Thus she sat down on the ground once more with a quiet hiss, and leaned against the wall so she was facing the fireplace.

"Better?" She asked as she looked up at Snape, and then watched how he stepped around the table to lean against the edge of it.

"Yes." A pause, filled with the quiet crackling of the burning wood. Robin looked at Snape for a moment longer, then turned to stare into the fire. Obviously he had no intention to tell her to leave, and Robin had none to go in return. The silence was nice, but he broke it fairly quickly. "Seeing as we have made it abundantly clear now that the ingredients are complete, correct and unimpaired, I would still like to hear what happened."

"I thought you meant the errand run… when you asked what happened…" Robin returned quietly, feeling a bit uneasy to talk about the other incident.

"I want to know what happened to you, Miss Mitchell. You cannot truly expect me to refrain from asking questions when you show up in my classroom bruised and beaten, belonging into the hospital wing rather than a potions classroom, and then pass out on the floor of my laboratory."

Robin bit her bottom lip in shame, and maybe a bit of regret for burdening him with all of this. She hadn't even thought about that, actually, before heading straight to his classroom indeed. "Why did you help me instead of sending me to the infirmary, if you don't mind me asking? I mean… you could've just let them take me there while I was… out… and not be bothered anymore."

"You chose to come to me and not to Madame Pomfrey upon your return, and even if I find that choice highly debatable, I would not disrespect your decision by taking it from you." He replied as if it was the most obvious thing ever. "Besides, you did not seem too gravely injured, so I believed a healing potion would be sufficient for now."

"Thank you. For all of that." Robin replied sincerely as she looked back up to him once more. He might very well be the first person who actually seemed to consider her choices as something to be respected in the first place, and she was even more thankful for that than for the potion that had taken at least most of the pain away.

"Don't thank me, Mitchell, tell me what happened. Who did this to you?" He demanded once more, clearly uncomfortable yet again about being thanked in all honesty. But seeing as he had done her a huge favor in allowing her to come here (and thus to pass out in private instead of in the possible company of the wrong people), Robin complied to his request without further hesitation.

"Not a 'who', professor… I had a small run-in with the whomping willow." She sighed, but moved on immediately before he could cut in. "Before you think I'm ACTUALLY stupid, let me explain how it got that far. You see, yesterday night, when we were talking about the books and the ingredients… well, anyway, some kids heard that I was running an errand for you today, and they felt particularly curious to find out what it was all about. And since I obviously refused to even confirm any of their suspicions, they grouped up, snatched my backpack, and after a redundant little chase game, they got tired of me not giving up on it and hurled it into the branches of the whomping willow before running off. I'm sure you can imagine the rest, seeing as I got the bag without it taking any damage."

"As it seems, you took the damage instead." He commented in slight distaste, but then returned to inquiring. "Who were these children and how did they come to know of the fact that you are working with me?"

Working with Snape? Huh… Robin liked that he thought of it this way. It made her feel proud to have put so much effort into today's task, and guilty to give him a very unsatisfying reply now. "The first thing I don't know, and the second… I'd rather not say."

"And just why would you want to protect those imbeciles whose irresponsible and condemnable behavior has left you in such a state?" This at least got the thick layer of neutrality to wear out a little and show just a bit of incredulity and sincere curiosity.

"I'm not trying to protect anyone, sir. Truly, I thought about which method of torturing them would be the most gruesome for most of my way back to the castle. Aaand… I probably shouldn't have said that. Anyway, I really don't know the names of the boys who took my bag."

"Gryffindors?"

"Slytherins. A year above me." Robin replied with a partially apologetic but mostly sad half smile. "Funny how everyone else is bickering with the other houses and I can't even get along with my own, isn't it? But it really doesn't matter, actually. They are just…" She didn't know how to finish that sentence, and stared back into the fire with a huff. What were they, exactly? Normal?

"Not worth your efforts." Snape finished the sentence for her, and Robin's sad smile turned into more of a real one.

"Yeah. Guess that's why I don't know their names, huh?" She snorted to herself but didn't take her eyes off the flames. They were such a contrast in their relentless movement to the quiet calm of the laboratory…

"And how did they come to know that you were worth bothering?"

"Funny way to put it… I'm worth to be bothered… I don't really think I'm worth anything to them though, not even to be bothered. They were rather interested in you, sir, not me." Robin thought for a moment, but then decided to tell him anyway. "They heard from David. He told them some things he must've overheard last night, but I can assure you they know nothing of actual relevance. David was more eager to tell them that I got him into trouble with you, which of course is ridiculous, but oh well… what about people my age isn't."

"I despise that child." He grumbled in return, the same thing he had already said last night, and Robin had to chuckle again before she thought of something that wiped the smile off her face.

"Please don't punish either of them for this, professor, even if you happen to know who's to blame. I mean… if I may ask that of you without being terribly out of my place." She started in a serious tone. "Nobody but me could possibly know about what they did today, and if they get punished for it they will know I told on them… and I would only suffer more. Just like you said to me in my first year. That's why I only thought about torturing them, too. Because revenge only leads to more suffering."

"If that is your wish, nobody will ever know I'm aware of the incident." He replied, much to Robin's surprise, but also to her great relief. "However, I shall also see to it that Mister Thompson's last day of detention tomorrow will be the worst he has ever lived to experience."

"That… is entirely up to you, sir." Robin said with a humored smile, putting the statement in place of a thank you. She would have to find another way to thank him eventually, one that didn't make him uncomfortable. Maybe chocolate cake. Or Twirls. She would surely think of something.

"It is fairly late, you should return to your dorm. Certainly rest would do you well after your 'run-in' with the whomping willow." He spoke up after a while of silence, and Robin frowned to herself as she realized that she had no idea how much time had passed since she had arrived here.

"Uh, what time is it, actually?" She asked as she rose to her feet with another hiss upon putting too much weight on her ankle. Damn thing… did healing potions not work on sprained ankles?

"Half past three at night. And may I suggest you to visit the infirmary tomorrow nonetheless to let Madam Pomfrey take a look at that?"

"What?!" Robin's frown deepened even more. "I mean yes, I'll have it looked at tomorrow… but half past three?!"

He actually shrugged upon that ever so slightly with an almost humored expression. "You were unconscious for quite the while."

"You should've woken me up! I had no intention to bother you for that long…" If Robin hadn't felt embarrassed enough tonight, this gave her the rest. And still… it had been kinda nice of him to let her rest. Or maybe he simply couldn't be bothered, who knows.

"Seeing as you were sleeping in a corner most of that time, you didn't bother me at all, actually." He replied calmly as he moved to put away the newly acquired ingredients at last. "I had work to do anyway."

"Still…" Robin mumbled to herself, glad that the dim light of the room would hide most of the deeply scarlet color in her face. With as little limping as possible, she picked up her backpack from the table and shouldered it carefully to not hurt herself more, even though the potion she'd been given had taken care of most of the soreness and scratches, which merely left the bruises and her ankle to be taken care of in the morning.

"Come back here to the laboratory after dinner tomorrow." He commanded ever-neutrally as Robin made for the door.

"Sure." She replied before she thought, but once she thought, she frowned. "For what, exactly?"

Snape rolled his eyes in that exaggerated manner, but not without making sure she saw the gesture. "We will be starting on the potion, obviously. Or did you think this would start and end for you with a mere shopping trip?"

"I… was rather hoping it wouldn't, sir." Robin replied with a smile she didn't even try to hide. "But I wasn't all too sure about the extent of my involvement."

"As I said, Miss Mitchell, all or nothing."

"I'll gladly take the 'all' then. Or rather… give the 'all', if I can."

At last the not-smirk was back, but he tried to hide it by turning his back to Robin, however not nearly quick enough for her not to notice. "I expected nothing less of you. Goodnight, Miss Mitchell."

"Goodnight, professor." With that, Robin made her slow way to her dorm in the silence of the night. Half past three… bloody hell. If this was what Snape considered normal working times, she'd surely be in for something interesting over the next two months.

_______________________________

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hiirunakaarchive · 4 years

Text

– to act in haste (3)

↳ Facts could never be disputed, but natural and insensible phenomenons like fate were fickle and ever-changing. Ethan hoped that maybe the outcome of this god-awful situation he was in right now could be fickle and ever-changing too.

↳ (pt 1), (pt 2), (pt 4)

◇ pairing: ethan ramsey x mc (haruna sakurai)

◇ genre: like 99.9% angst, 0.1% comedy (?) i hope that part of the story was funny man idk

◇ word count: 4.6k+

◇ tags: @aworldoffandoms, @perriewinklenerdie, @jooous, @senseofduties, @moteestro, @anything-but-reality

◇ author’s note: hey friends, i hope yall are staying safe and indoors during these strange times! classes have been moved online, so i’ve been writing and lo and behold –– part three to my series (which i finished a lot sooner that i expected :o) ! i was honestly writing this thinking it’d be the finale but the 10k word count was telling me smth else, so a FOURTH part is gonna be posted and THAT is gonna be the last one! also not to toot my own horn but i really, honestly, TRULY believe this third part is the best ive ever written, and i hope you guys like it as much as i do! like always, feedback is super appreciated and i’d be more than happy to add anyone to the tags! happy reading!

–

Dr. Ramsey was almost never wrong.

Almost.

And he hung on to that almost with a vice-like grip, that one in a million possibility that maybe this time, he could be wrong, and God, he had never wanted to be wrong so badly. But anyone with half a brain could put two and two together and figure out why his spiteful ex-lover stood in his office long after her shift had ended; white coat folded neatly and hugged against her chest with a sealed envelope at hand. Yet, despite knowing fully well what that letter being slid across his desk meant, he dared to challenge the inevitable truth. To let himself hope—

I could be wrong.

He took it in his hands carefully, and tore the envelope open.

Let it be wrong. Let it be wrong, let it be wrong, let it be-

”You’re resigning.”

He read it slowly and steadily, gathering himself with one long breath and the last sliver of calm he could find.

Over the course of the year, Haruna Sakurai had become some sort of a celebrity in Boston’s exclusive world of health care professionals, dubbed the perfect model to emulate in all aspects of being a doctor. She was as kind as she was intelligent, but unflinching in her righteous principles and a terrifying force to be reckoned with.

She was Edenbrook’s most valuable asset, yet the letter of resignation laying open on Ethan’s desk seemed to taunt him in ways that delved beyond a professional context. He regarded it hollowly, absorbing the great loss her departure would serve to the hospital, but also let his mind pathetically wander to the thought of where her resignation would leave the both of them.

It was silly and stupid, because they weren’t even romantically involved anymore. That tranquil period where they sat across from each other in comfortable silence, danced in his kitchen until they realized breakfast was burned, talked and laughed until they couldn’t breathe – it was such a distant memory that Ethan was convinced that it was nothing but a dream.

It didn’t matter because she was slipping from him anyway.

“Losing you would be quite a blow to the hospital, Dr. Sakurai. Is there anything that would make you reconsider?” He had to be impartial.

Convince her to stay. For the hospital, not for yourself, you selfish prick. No more of this lovesick nonsense.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her, and it was deplorable. The year Haruna spent on the fellowship had changed her. She stood taller, spoke louder, smiled wider, and Ethan convinced himself that losing her was a trivial price to pay for the success she so deserved.

Haruna had grit her teeth and accepted his twisted gift, abandoning that whirlwind romance they had, and as compensation, acquired invaluable knowledge that no one could pry from her cold dead hands. She had so clearly moved on, thus, there was nothing left to do but for Ethan to make peace with it and follow suit.

“I’m sorry, but my mind is set. It’s a...career move.”

Yet why did he still insist on making her stay?

“A career move? Dr. Sakurai, you do know that you’re employed at one of the best hospitals in the United States.” He pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, and she rolled her eyes at his statement of the obvious.

“Of course I do, but our partnership with Panacea Labs has them trampling on every standard and principle that made Edenbrook one of the best in the first place.”

“I hate saying this as much as you hate hearing it, but that’s not something we can change.” Ethan sighed as he rubbed his temples.

“I know, so I’m leaving before it disappoints me further.”

“Life in and of itself is a disappointment, Dr. Sakurai.” he argued. “We-“

“I’m going back to Japan.” She blurted.

Haruna bit her lip, bringing a hand to her face like it was a secret she meant to keep and just as suddenly as she said it, Ethan’s world stopped all at once. The clock that hung just above the entrance to his office stopped ticking. He saw Haruna’s lips moving as she continued to speak, but couldn’t hear a thing. Every joint in his body seemed to have froze and gone numb. Dead silence enveloped Dr. Ramsey to the deepest part of him that it could dig.

Dr. Sakurai’s confession rang in his ears like a siren, and Ethan wanted nothing more than to make it stop. The loss of what they had stung him to the point that he almost clutched at the imaginary ache of his chest, but despite that, he carried on. Seeing Haruna was never easy, but the dull sting at the sight of her served as a very real reminder that she wasn’t just a dream. That there once existed a period where Ethan loved a woman so much that he was no longer himself. She was real and tangible, and as long as she remained so, Ethan fooled himself into thinking he had a chance and the luxury of time in fixing what seemed to be irreparable.

You can’t fix this anymore.

That cruel realization slapped him back to reality.

“-y parents are encouraging me to come home and work in their hospital. I’m hoping that it can offer me new and invaluable insight– Dr. Ramsey are you listening?”

Ethan lifted his gaze from the envelope on his desk and met her eyes. He stood from his office chair and planted his hands on the surface of the table, leaning forward.

“I’m listening. And what insight, pray tell, can the Sakurai Medical Centre give you that Edenbrook can’t?”

The tone of his voice adopted a subtle bitterness to which Haruna raised a brow. She uncrossed her arms, imitating Ethan’s pose and setting one hand parallel to his on top of his desk.

“It’s a new experience.” She responded impatiently, “A more challenging setting.”

“In the hospital that your parents own? How could that setting ever challenge you the same way we do here?” He continued to prod.

“In ways you couldn’t possibly hope to understand. Are we done here?”

“Not until you tell me the real reason why you’re resigning, Dr. Sakurai. You’ve made a name for yourself in this city, you’ve accomplished what thousands of doctors wished they could at your age. How could you leave that all behind?”

Here they were again, arguing, God, they were always arguing. Both of them were far too proud and far too stubborn to swallow their pride and back down. The only thing that seemed like a capable reminder to keep things civil was the mahogany desk that kept them mere inches apart.

She placed a hand on her hip and leaned closer across the table.

“I think you’re taking things too personally, Dr. Ramsey.” Haruna accused.

She was close. Too close, and Ethan swallowed hard and realized he could never win against her.

He looked away, in denial. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Haruna scoffed.

“Really? Then look at me and tell me that I got this far so early into my career because of my own hard work. Tell me that every doctor in Boston would know my name even if you didn’t use your position to land me that spot on the diagnostics team even though I was in fourth place. Face it, Dr. Ramsey, you don’t want me to leave because it means that everything you did was for nothing.” She spat.

Ethan threw his hands up in aggravation. “Sakurai, this isn’t about me, god damn it! This is about you compromising a perfect career that–”

“You don’t know what it’s like!” She yelled, her voice resonating across the room.

The sudden raise in volume took Ethan by surprise, and he bit back a response as Haruna scowled in an attempt to calm herself.

“You have no idea what it’s like...walking into that room everyday with doctors like you, June and Baz, and knowing that I’m not even supposed to be there. I come in here and see you and am just reminded that every bit of success I have now is because you loved me. Too damn much, if you ask me.”

“You want to know the worst part of it all?” She laughed despite herself. “Acting like I didn’t enjoy every minute of that fellowship, when the truth is that I relished in it. I spent this entire year resenting you yet basking in all this knowledge and these opportunities that you gave me. Then I’d come in the next day and hate you a little less than I did the day before. One day, I woke up and realized that I probably never even hated you at all. If anything, I was...grateful.” She cringed as she said it, then looked at Ethan with contempt.

For the first time in a long time, it wasn’t directed at him, but at herself.

“Do you get it? I can’t keep working here, because the mere sight of you is proof that I’m just as greedy and self-serving as bastards like Declan Nash, and I’d sooner die than become a doctor so disgusting. If I can’t bring myself to hate you, then...” She trailed off and looked away, taking a deep breath to steady herself.

The revelation was all too much for Ethan to process, and his mind was riddled with questions. For over a year, he’d wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares of how she regarded him with immeasurable animosity. Was she trying to tell him that, that too, was a facade? A tense muscle in Dr. Ramsey’s jaw relaxed as he asked her quietly,

“Are you running from me, Haruna?”

“If I am?”

They looked at each other in a moment that seemed to end all too quickly, and the weight and meaning of what she said dawned on the both of them. Her eyes widened at the proclamation she mistakenly let slip and Dr. Sakurai snatched her letter of resignation from Ethan’s desk, starting towards the door.

“Never mind. Forget it.”

For a moment, he considered listening to her. To let her go like he’d always done. Every time they spoke, she always ended up leaving anyway. Ethan persuaded himself into believing that she was better off without him, but–

You are never going to have another chance after this.

And he realized, that the moment he let her leave that room, everything would really be over. He’d have to live with the regret of never having taken that final opportunity to mend what they’d both thought was unmendable, or at least try to. Would she have also wished that he’d tried to stop her?

“Wait...I said wait!”

Ethan bolted towards the exit, and Haruna froze in her tracks as he slammed the door back shut as she was about to leave. Her back was to him and his arm remained situated on the wooden surface, inches from her head.

“I need to know, Dr. Sakurai,” He breathed,

“Do I still mean something to you?”

Ethan heard her sharp intake of breath, taken aback by his sudden inquiry. Cautiously, Haruna turned to face him and that calm air of hers that always seemed so natural now looked like nothing but a brittle front to hold herself together.

“You do.” She admitted.

“I still love you, Dr. Ramsey. So much. I’ve loved you all this time but I-“

Her breathed hitched, and like a dam, she, and that distant and unbothered facade she was so adamant on maintaining, collapsed. Her cheeks were wet with tears and Ethan’s face fell as Haruna buried her face into her hands. He willed himself not to hold her.

She wouldn’t want you touching her. You don’t have the right. You don’t-

But against his better judgement he took her in his arms, and the solace he felt with the familiarity of this woman’s warmth, who seemed so small trapped against his chest, overwhelmed him with emotion. It had been so long since he last touched her, and both Ethan and Haruna knew that it may very well be the last. So he held her. He held her the way he wished he could have in the year that they didn’t speak. The way he should have held her from the start. And she let him.

He wasn’t sure if he could ever embrace anyone else the same way ever again.

“God, Ethan, where did we go wrong?” She sobbed.

He rested his chin gently on her head and didn’t respond, because he knew that nothing he could say in this predicament that they were in– no, that they’ve been in, would console her. Dr. Sakurai’s shoulders shook uncontrollably as she cried, and Ethan felt her go slack against him, holding her tighter as he lowered the both of them gently to the floor.

***

She was in his arms for the next hour. Sixty minutes of pure silence, apart from her weeping, and Ethan could do nothing but comfort the woman. He looked up at the ceiling as Haruna sniffled, and couldn’t remember the last time she had let herself be so vulnerable in front of him.

“We can’t be together like this.” She finally spoke, her voice raspy from the crying.

“I-” Dr. Ramsey began, ready to argue. He knew better though, and sighed as he leaned his head back against the wall. “I know.”

“Good. So you know that you have to let me leave, then.”

He stayed silent in an attempt to avoid the question. Of course he knew that, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud. If he did, he’d be acknowledging that this was for the best; and more often than not, the right decision wasn’t always the easiest.

“Haruna, I...” He started in protest, but paused as he felt Dr. Sakurai’s hand slide up to rest on his cheek.

He looked down at her, and wondered if he was being too transparent. If she could see how broken he was at realizing the choice they both had to make. She sat up a little straighter, still in Ethan’s arms and rested her forehead against his. Then she asked him quietly. Pleadingly.

“Please, Ethan.”

How could he ever say no to her?

So he responded wordlessly, tilting his head and bringing his lips to hers. Haruna met him halfway, and a year and a half of fierce self-restraint and inexplicable pining for the feel of each other erupted all at once. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer by the nape of his neck. Ethan cupped her face in his hands as he kissed her, softly at first, but every second that passed with her mouth on his summoned a tide of longing that he forced himself to keep latent all this time, and it only urged him to kiss her harder.

“I love you.” He groaned against her mouth. “God, I love you.”

She merely smiled at his reckless confession, holding him by the lapels of his coat until, Ethan, breathless, forced himself to pull away. He brought a finger below her chin and tilted her head up to look at him. Her eyes were red and swollen from the crying and her hair was disheveled from the moment of passion they just shared, but Ethan couldn’t recall ever being in love with her more than he was in that moment.

“Haruna, marry me.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. She looked like she was going to say something in protest, but Ethan continued in order to validate his outrageous request.

“Not now.” He interjected. “You’re going to go to Japan, and become the best damn doctor they’ve ever seen. Your success will be your own, and no one will ever remember that you were ‘The’ Ethan Ramsey’s protege in the first place because you’ll become someone a hundred times better.”

Dr. Ramsey pushed himself off the floor, and pulled Haruna up following that. Her eyes had begun to shine with tears again, dangerously close to falling, and Ethan held her face in his hands. He offered her a comforting smile, but he wasn’t certain if it was meant to reassure her, or to hide his own brokenness.

“Then, if these god damn stars ever choose to align for us and we see each other again, however long that might take, we’ll get married. Is that clear, Rookie?”

She laughed through the tears.

“Crystal, Dr. Ramsey.”

––

Dr. Haruna Sakurai departed for Japan the following week. No one knew of her resignation except for the diagnostics team, Naveen, and her closest friends from intern year, so Ethan remained unbothered at the gossip that rang through the hospital when one day, she had stopped coming to work and no one knew why.

After that evening where he vociferated that almost childish marriage pact, Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Sakurai failed to have another chance to speak. He was busy with his own doctorly duties and Sakurai was preoccupied with tying up any loose ends before she left for good. They’d merely pass by each other in the halls and their interactions alternated between a subtle smile, a curt nod, or a discreet brush of the fingers.

When Haruna accepted his poor excuse of a proposal, Ethan thought he’d convinced himself that it was going to be alright. That things would turn out fine because they parted on good terms and with the knowledge that they’d made the right choice.

So he had to pretend, and to an extent he never did before.

Pretend like he wasn’t heartbroken at the fact that she didn’t say goodbye.

Pretend like he wasn’t just as surprised as everyone else when he came to work and didn’t hear the sound of her voice by the nurses’ station like he would everyday.

The feigning of indifference had embedded itself so deeply into his routine that Ethan believed it was real. He readopted his strictly objective nature, like how he used to be before he met her, and just like that, his world went numb and grey.

“I’m worried for you, Ethan.” Naveen sighed as he sat across Ethan’s desk, genuine concern written all over his face.

Dr. Ramsey didn’t bother looking up as he flipped through applications for the year’s new batch of interns. “We have hundreds of patients to treat and a budget cut that still needs to be solved. I’m not who you should be worried about, Naveen.” He replied dryly.

“My shift ended twenty minutes ago, my boy,” Dr. Banerji chuckled.

“I’m not here as administration, I’m here as your friend. Now tell me, why are you acting this way?”

"Acting what way?” Ethan quipped, setting down a folder to give his mentor his full attention. “I’m not any different from the last twelve years we’ve been working together.”

“Completely and wholly devoted to your job, I know. But in the past twelve years I’ve known you, you’ve never been so...” Naveen rested his elbow on the armrest of his chair as he pondered for the right word. “Anesthetized?”

Banerji eyed Ethan carefully, almost strictly.

“You’ve always been a workaholic, Ethan, but never to the point that you neglected your own health. You’re a walking contradiction as a doctor.”

Ethan knew he was right. If there was anybody in the world that he could never win against in an argument, it was his mentor and his mentee. The three of them were an elite trifecta with a unique bond equipped with boundless knowledge, and Ethan swallowed hard as he remembered her for the first time in the four months since she left.

After coming to terms with her resignation, Ethan thought that their parting satisfied him enough to live on happily and assured of their love for each other. But the following week of being deprived of her presence and being reminded he might never see her again made Dr. Ramsey realize that it was stupidly naive of him to think so. This was nothing like the two months he spent in the Amazon, because he didn’t have that certainty of her greeting him when he inevitably came back. He was unsure of whether the stars really would align for them like he suggested, but certain that he’d never love anyone the same way he loved her.

He drowned himself in work and almost stopped coming home. The bags beneath his eyes had grown so much more prominent, and four months of this self-negligent lifestyle had aged him more than twelve years of working as a doctor of internal medicine ever could. Of course Banerji had been the first one to notice.

“She’s there everywhere I go, Naveen.” Ethan confessed, unable to keep it to himself any longer.

“Can’t even leave this damn office and grab a coffee anymore. I ordered my usual roast at Derry’s, and you know what happened? The barista snuck me a free espresso Romano! Told me, ‘for the other pretty doctor,’ and I almost lost it.”

Dr. Banerji stared in disappointment at his own pupil’s oblivion. He had given him too many invaluable lessons to count, but the one thing he never succeeded in helping Ethan understand was the importance of subjectivity. That sometimes even the most logical and calculated decisions were no match against the fickle loyalties of the heart.

“Answer me honestly, Ethan,” Naveen dropped all hints of playfulness.

“Do you regret letting her leave?”

–– FIVE YEARS LATER

“Do you regret letting her leave?”

When Naveen asked that question, the answer popped into Ethan’s mind shamefully quick. Accompanied with that epiphany, his world, the one that went numb and grey, began to scream altogether. The imaginary pain that once pricked him frivolously like pins and needles hit him all at once and burst into flames. Shallow incisions made to his heart with every thought of her and what could have been, transitioned into relentless, deep cuts that came at a pace faster than he could heal.

Over the course of five years, Ethan stopped trying to fight it and left his heart to be mangled by the regret.

“Yes, I regret it.”

Today marked his seventeenth year of working at Edenbrook, and Dr. Ramsey had lost count of how many batches of interns had come and gone. He still thought about her occasionally, when he’d see her friends in the hospital or at midnight in bed and alone with his thoughts; but time had done a fairly adequate job of healing that wound. Five years in retrospect didn’t seem that long, but it was enough for Dr. Haruna Sakurai’s face to blur and drown into the deepest recesses of Ethan’s mind.

“He’s so freaking fine, but I swear he doesn’t have eyes.”

Making his rounds, Ethan’s brows furrowed irritably at the interns he caught gossiping in the hall. He tucked his clipboard under his arm, more than ready to reprimand them until a calloused hand caught him by the shoulder.

“Shhh. I want to know what they’re saying about you.” Ethan turned his head just enough to see that it was Dr. Lahela.

He never expected to grow close with one of her brother-like figures, but him and the surgeon spent too much time together at the gym, and Ethan grew fond of the younger doctor more than he cared to admit.

“You know Dr. Tremaine? The pretty one with a sixteen thousand follower count on Instagram? She asked him to dinner and he just walked past her like he didn’t hear anything.”

“You did not turn down Dr. Tremaine.” Bryce covered his mouth with a hand, feigning shock and Ethan retorted almost immediately with his own dry humour.

“I think you forget sometimes that the thought of your best friend still torments me.”

“Right. Sorry.”

They turned back towards the young doctors, so deep into their conversation that the two didn’t even bother hiding anymore. Ethan leaned against the wall patiently as Bryce cleaned his stethoscope with an alcohol wipe he dug out from his pocket.

“Dr. Castillo’s brother did his residency here too, and rumour has it that Dr. Ramsey actually had a fling with an intern from his batch a couple years back.”

“Shut up. She must’ve been so hot if she could make Dr. Ramsey budge.”

Ethan leaned over to Bryce, unsure of why he was even following his request of keeping silent.

“My ears are bleeding, Lahela.” He aggressively muttered under his breath.

“Wait, they’re getting to the good part. You know how I love hearing Haruna’s praises sung– wait, Dr. Ramsey!” The surgeon’s voice faded as Ethan ignored his plea, beginning his march towards the rumourmongering interns.

“–Super hot, super smart, and super scary. Apparently she punched Declan Nash in the face once.”

“Shut up! Who is she?”

“You know the one from the last issue of Times? Like, total medical prodigy? Asia’s top doctor who-”

“–Turned her parents hospital into Japan’s top research facility, I know the whole deal. What about her?”

“So, like, she used to work at Edenbrook right? Apparently-”

“You two, interns!” Ethan barked down the hall.

“Dr. Ramsey!” And his terrifying approach was drowned out by Harper Emery’s own voice and the loud clicking of her heels as she rounded the corner.

Complete, utter fear settled into the young doctors’ eyes as they realized that they were in the company of Edenbrook’s most skilled and accomplished staff, one of whom they were gossiping about. Their gaze darted between a cool and collected Harper, and Ethan, who was very visibly seething, and found they could look nowhere else but the floor.

Harper and Ethan rekindled their friendship following Aurora’s transfer to Mass Kenmore. Harper realized that she wanted the fellowship more for Aurora than she did for herself, and thanks to the younger Emery distancing herself from Edenbrook and her aunt’s legacy, the women were closer now than they’ve ever been before.

“We need to talk.” Harper demanded, despite being aware of the tension.

“It might have to wait, Dr. Emery, I’m in the middle of something important.”

Harper stepped towards him and spoke in a voice low enough that only Ethan could hear, her tone demanding his full attention.

“Dr. Ramsey.” Harper repeated, more firmly this time.

Ethan sensed the urgency in her voice, and looked between his friend and the interns. Exhaling once, he shot them one more infuriated look before turning back the way he came and following his colleague. Ethan eyed Dr. Lahela expectantly as him and Harper strolled past.

“You're up, scalpel jockey.” And Bryce smiled excitedly, closing his eyes and getting into character before storming down the hall.

“Coffee must be one hell of a drug if I’m seeing not one, but two interns chatting ‘til kingdom come while they’re still on the damn clock! Both of you, names!”

Harper failed at containing a smile. “You’re a horrible influence, Ethan.”

He shook his head, repressing his own laughter. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. That pupil of yours wouldn’t leave me alone until I showed him the ropes of...what did he call it, ah– oral persecution. So what was it that you wanted to tell me?”

“You and Dr. Hirata will be in attendance for a medical conference in Kyoto as Edenbrook’s representatives.”

He nodded in response, continuing to look straight ahead as they walked. “Hmph, like always.”

“And Dr. Sakurai will be present as the keynote speaker.”

#choices #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey fanfiction #choices fanfiction #ethan ramsey x mc #open heart

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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years

Text

Mistletoe Manor: The Epilogues Part 3

Genre: 1900′s AU/Romance

Pairings: Park Seo Joon, Bang Yongguk, Brian Kang, Jung Daehyun, Jung Jaehyun, Lee Taeyong x OCs

A/N: Becky ( @noona-clock ) and I wanted to re-visit our magical world of Mistletoe Manor. The series left off on a bit of a cliffhanger, so we really had no choice! We hope you enjoy this extra look into the lives of Cassie, Evie, Joey, and all their friends and family.

The final part will be shared tomorrow at 6pm EST/ 10am NZST.

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 // 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 || Epilogues: 1 | 2 // 3 | 4

It was a wedding unlike any other.

Although Cassie had attended many celebrations over her years – weddings aplenty – she couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed for Evie’s big day. Before leaving for the church she had shed some tears, mopped up by Lydia as she readied her for the special day. And she was emotional once more upon entering the chapel, attempting to pull herself together.

Cassie had been married in the same place over a year ago and honestly, she was certain she hadn’t been this affected at the time.

Or at least, this sentimental.

Still, Cassie was exceptionally proud that Evie had not only come out of her shell, perhaps one that she and her family had kept upon her for far too long, and found someone who made her heart soar towards his enough to take such a big step forward. Over the year of marriage to her husband Daehyun, there had been a whole lot of uncertainty for Cassie. She was relieved that Evie would never face such worries, and if anything, she was a little envious that her sister got the dream she had always wanted for herself.

To marry for love.

However, as Daehyun stood across from her during the ceremony, Cassie could not imagine a better husband for herself.

Nor could she have planned a more wonderful wedding for Yongguk and Evie over the last few months.

There had been a concern that their shy personalities might lead to some stuttered vows or awkward moments, and yet Evie had made a beautiful and confident bride. Cassie could tell her sister was committed to the love she felt for the Earl, and Yongguk shared a similar passion, the pair visibly showcasing their avid love for one another for all to witness.

And when they were finally wedded, the tears began again.

Cassie wondered if all she would do today was cry.

“If anyone did not know any better, Cassie, they would think you were in mourning with how many tears you have shed!” Joey exclaimed once they had sent the newlyweds off back to Mistletoe Manor where the reception would resume the celebrations. Joey reached to dab under her older sister’s eyes. “Surely there is no need for these overflowing emotions of yours. You’re not even the mother of the bride. Mother has held it together far better than you have.”

“Perhaps I cried for more than one of my sisters,” Cassie replied pointedly, giving the youngest Hawthorne, now Kang, a knowing gaze.

Joey, however, was unaffected. “I am glad you and your tears were not with me on that day.”

“I am fond of your Brian, do know this,” Cassie continued, easing her approach. “Still, I had no idea what it would be like to see my sisters married, and so close to one another as well.”

“Does it bother you?”

“What?”

“The fact that Daehyun was an arranged suitor whilst Evie and I-”

“I thought it did,” Cassie admitted, smiling softly, nodding to one of the guests as they called out her name in farewell. “But even you know that what comes after marriage is by far superior to an exhausting day like today.”

“Again, my vows were exchanged faster than this.” Joey then grinned wickedly. “What was exhausting was-”

“Hold your tongue, Josephine; we are in a place where such details should not be heard by all!” Cassie cut in hastily, and her sister laughed heartily.

“My improper thoughts will remain concealed, do not worry. Though, I must go find my husband and child – I do fancy saying that is still very new and overwhelming to me!” Joey’s eyes lit up at the mentioning of her adopted daughter Daisy and Cassie felt herself grow anxious by the maternal look in Joey’s gaze. Joey then turned impatient, tugging lightly on her sister’s hand. “Will you come with me?”

“It is the duty of the best man to stay behind to pay the clergyman is it not?” Cassie pointed to Daehyun waiting for the rest of the bridal party and guests to dissipate. “Go find your family, I will wait for mine.”

“Do try to stop the tears!” Joey called as she dashed off, running into the arms of her waiting husband and then reaching to affectionately take hold of Daisy’s hand, the trio heading out across the road to take the next awaiting car for travel back to the manor.

It was growing hard now to deal with the conflicting thoughts and feelings within and Cassie sighed heavily, placing a hand over her chest and willed herself to calm down. She remained inside her thoughts for some time until arms slipped around her, her husband nuzzling into her neck tenderly.

“You waited for me?”

“Of course, it’s what a wife should do,” she confirmed, spinning around lightly and smiling up at her husband. “Is everything sorted?”

“Yes, however, are you alright my love? You look rather exhausted.”

“Watching your sister be married off is rather wonderful but incredibly tiresome, admittedly.”

“Tiresome? I thought it was a well-paced ceremony.”

“Yes, you’re right,” she said weakly, blinking back her pesky emotions once more.

Daehyun frowned. “Are you certain you’re alright?”

“Quite alright,” Cassie confirmed, taking his hand in hers and swinging it lightly. “Though I suppose Mother will wonder of my whereabouts and so we really should hurry back to the manor.”

“Are you hungry?” Daehyun guessed and Cassie grinned.

“Famished, if I’m honest. I forgot to eat earlier, I was far too nervous hoping everything would go exactly as planned.”

“It’s almost as if you were getting married again,” Daehyun pointed out, glancing back at the chapel they both stepped out of. “Do you ever think back to our wedding day?”

“I almost threw up before putting on my dress,” Cassie confessed and Daehyun’s hearty laughter warmed her heart. “Fancy that.”

“I believe I tried to plan out twenty different ways to tell you how I felt that day and instead I failed to deliver my message appropriately. Our wedding day was not anything like today, now was it?”

“No, you’re quite right. It was completely different.”

“I hope since my return, those anxious moments have long passed, however,” Daehyun stated, searching Cassie’s eyes. She knew he could tell she was not being entirely honest with her feelings and quickly diverted her gaze, returning it when she had formed a smile.

“Neither Joey nor Evie have had the pleasure of yearning for someone they cannot easily see, nor were courted through romantic letters as I was. My nerves over our union have long passed, darling.”

Still, despite her words, Cassie hadn’t quite convinced her husband otherwise. She would need to find time after the festivities were over to let it be known why she was reacting the way she was.

She could only hope his response would give her clarity on what her own was.

It was refreshing to see Evie so openly besotted with her husband. As Grace watched her cousin laugh fondly at something Yongguk murmured into her ear, she couldn’t help compare their love story to that of a fairytale.

Evie had found her prince and would be whisked off to live in her new palace, so to speak.

Turning to look in the direction of her youngest cousin, Joey was dancing happily with Daisy, whilst Brian watched on. Even if she had worried over her cousin's safe return, Grace had known that Brian would take great care of her. If anything, she did not know a greater match than Brian was of Joey’s vivacious personality.

And before she could seek out her oldest friend and the head of the Hawthorne girls, Grace's gaze fell upon someone else. Smiling, she took the outstretched drink as Jaehyun stepped forward to her side.

It was ironic to think he had been the one concerned this morning about his coming to the wedding, and also over his suit. In her eyes, Jaehyun was by far the most appealing human within the grand hall right now. Though, with all the kisses they had shared thus far upon her visit to Mistletoe Manor, Grace was highly biased.

“My Lady, I feel you might dry up if your hands remain empty for long,” he announced, as he settled the drink within her hand.

“Ever the gentleman.”

Jaehyun nodded. “I do have a reputation to uphold.”

“And what have you of such reputation?” Grace breathed as Jaehyun shifted closer.

“Well, I hear I once charmed a lady walking with her cousin by my gardens.”

“To be fair, it was before I even saw your gardens,” she disputed and Jaehyun grinned, holding out his hand all the same.

“Shall we go outside now? As much as I am enjoying the celebrations, I feel rather stuffy in here.”

Grace giggles. “In here or in a suit?”

“Both,” Jaehyun admitted, and Grace placed her hand in his, following him outside and onto the terrace. They walked in comfortable silence, sharing giddy smiles as they departed the celebrations for something a little more peaceful.

The gardens now were in full bloom, and it was beautiful, both in sight and aroma.

Grace looked up at her lover and snuggled into his side. “You have done a marvellous job tending to the flowers. I’ve never seen it bloom so wonderfully before in all my years of visiting Mistletoe Manor.”

“All they needed was a bit of coaxing and a kind hand thereafter.”

“Much as we did?”

“Are we growing together?” Jaehyun mused, glancing down at her fondly before nodding. “What would you refer to us as, my poetic love?”

“Saplings,” Grace immediately responded and Jaehyun’s brows knitted together. Stopping to take a seat on a stone bench, Grace waited until Jaehyun sat next to her before she continued. “We are but mere little shoots sticking bravely out of the soil in search for such gentle coaxing and kind hands as you mentioned before.”

“We have yet to bloom?”

“Oh yes! Why, our love is only new, is it not?”

“It is almost of the same age as Evie and the Earl’s, and look at where they are now,” Jaehyun replied softly, his hand coming up to pop a couple of the buttons on his shirt open, loosening the tightness around his neck.

He was nervous over the uncertainty of their status.

Grace did agree with him, of course. In fact, since they had become acquainted before her cousin and Yongguk had, their budding romance could have very well transformed with nuptials by now as well.

However, and at no fault of Evie’s decision, Grace wanted to wait. She wanted to experience the way her love bloomed this spring with Jaehyun. She longed for the heart of summer to warm her and Jaehyun’s journey further. Fall and winter would arrive thereafter, and by then she was certain that all four seasons spent together would end in blissful matrimony. It wasn’t that Grace did not believe that she and Jaehyun were a perfect fit for one another; rather, she had always taken her time. She wanted to savour the flirting, the chaste kisses, and the endless hours spent around the sun speaking of anything and everything. She wanted to explore her youth, what left of it, before she returned home to her family with a husband and gained the title of proprietor.

Grace wished to be in full bloom when that time came, and right now was thrilled to be nothing more than a little sapling.

Jaehyun exhaled a deep breath. “I have worried, you know.”

“Over?”

“That I would not match up to that of your cousins’ husbands. I know you see me for who I am, and I adore you for that, Grace. But your cousins are married to Earls-”

“And a valet turned teacher, which are both rather respectful positions, much like that of a gardener,” she pointed out quickly and Jaehyun nodded thoughtfully. Turning to him, she reached to cup his cheek. “If it were not for your steadfastness towards saving the festival last year and your compassion for nature, what would we have in this world? You make everything you touch beautiful.”

Slipping his hand over hers, Jaehyun tilted his head. “Not you, however. That is a gift the Gods have already blessed you with. These hands do nothing to make you any prettier.”

“They do. Inside here.” Pointing to her chest, Grace then moved their linked hands to the place above her beating heart. “With your kind hands and gentle coaxing, I will grow further than a sapling. And I hope to do the very same for you, Jaehyun.”

“Oh, how I do love you,” he replied ardently and leaned in closer. “Would it be improper if I kissed you right now?”

“Must you ask every time?”

Jaehyun nodded before brushing his lips over hers, softer than the breeze that swirled her hair around them. And yet it reached deeply into her chest, stealing yet another part of her heart that she already believed was fully his.

When they separated, Grace laid her head upon Jaehyun’s shoulder, staring at the garden bed before her. She noticed new life peeking out from under the soil and grinned. “At our home, we have fields that are entirely empty. What will you fill them with when our time to go there comes?”

“Wildflowers.”

“Do they not just pop up on their own?”

Jaehyun hummed. “Someone had to encourage them how to go into places they once were not.”

“Have I encouraged you to go places you never thought of?”

“That you have.”

“Are summers really as exciting here as I have heard of?” Grace asked suddenly, her thoughts returning to her whispered comments with Evie over the delightful scenery her cousin was adamant Grace needed to witness firsthand.

Jaehyun frowned. “Well, they are rather hot.”

“I look forward to it then.”

“You won’t return to your own home before then?”

Grace shook her head. “No, I feel I will be needed over the coming months. With Evie and Joey both gone, Cassie will definitely need the company.”

“Is that an excuse?” Jaehyun wondered and Grace shrugged nonchalantly.

“It very may well be.”

“I hope Cassie does require a lot of your company then.”

“Not all of it, I have much to share with you,” she replied with a giggle and then gazed up at him.

Jaehyun ran his thumb lightly over her mouth. “I will marry you, one day.”

“One day,” she echoed, content that for now, her focus would be left to enjoy the present, knowing that the future would be just as sweet, if not sweeter by the time they both reached it.

With every wedding, there was always the cleanup that came after. And with all hands needed around the manor to ensure that everything returned to where it once was housed after the reception, Taeyong found himself working from dawn to dusk the very next day. Lord Hawthorne assured that when everything was done, the staff would be allocated an entire free day in token of his gratitude and that had spurred Taeyong on.

All he could think about was spending more time with Anna outside of the home. It wasn’t very often that they did such a thing, and now that spring was here, he wanted to go for a picnic with her.

Anna, however, seemed moodier than ever.

“Honestly!” she exclaimed, picking up yet another stack of the fine china to return to the cellar. “I must say, these people sure know how to throw a grand party every month or so!”

“It was nice though, and Evie seems rather beside herself now that she’s married.”

“I guess for her, there would have been a great deal to learn about last night.”

“And what would you know of that?” Taeyong wondered, glancing at her devilish expression. He groaned. “I fear you and Joey may be akin in many ways.”

“You should fear it. I might be as reckless as my Lady once was.”

“Towards me, I hope.”

Anna stopped collecting the dishes from the trolley and darted over to his side, placing a fond hand upon his chest as she reached up to his peck his lips. “Who else would it be?”

“So you do want to marry me,” Taeyong breathed, and then stammered incoherently as his cheeks reddened. Anna’s hand fell away and he clamped his eyes shut. “T-That was not a proposal!”

“I should hope not!”

“No, as you would expect, I have something much bet—wait, you hope not?!”

“What is that of any use to a housemaid? Marriage is something that is between those like the Hawthorne’s. They benefit from the connections made. Nothing will change my status from a housemaid, and certainly no marriage could do such a thing!”

“There is a whole lot more to it than that, do you not think?”

Anna shook her head and moved back to her task. “Unless I found myself in a position of that with a man who had land and money, I do not see how it would affect me at all.”

“You cannot be serious.”

“Oh but I am.”

Taeyong deflated. He had hoped for a bit more of a romantic response from Anna, especially since he fully intended in making an honest woman out of her. He had already begun saving for their future, a modest life where he saw children enter the picture not long after their vows. For some reason, he had believed Anna would be on the same page.

And so it concerned him greatly that she was not.

His silence brought Anna back over to his side. “Are you quite alright?”

“No.”

“No?” she repeated, searching his face and then narrowed her gaze. “You are offended.”

“Gravely.”

“But why?”

“Because I wish to be wedded one day! I want the world to know you are the woman I choose to be with forever! And you shoot it down simply because it will not lift your status in any way. I feel differently!”

“I see.”

Taeyong huffed, shaking his head rapidly as he finished packing away the cutlery. “I don’t think you do at all.”

“I never desired that we needed a piece of paper to say that I am yours and you are mine.”

“A piece of… you know what? I think I might go help Seo Joon outside. After all, I am merely a footman, that is my status here, is it not?!”

Turning on his heel, Taeyong left the cellar immediately, unstopping until he was outside, heaving in deep breaths.

Seo Joon looked up from his task outside and tilted his head to the side. “Are you alright, Taeyong?”

“Splendid! Just wonderful!” he announced dramatically and kicked at the gravel. He was aware he was acting out foolishly and balled his fists up in attempts to calm down.

The chauffeur was soon as his side. “Is this in response to Anna?”

“Isn’t it always?”

“Well, she is the only person I happen to know who bothers you as much as you do her,” Seo Joon agreed with a chuckle and Taeyong’s shoulders slumped. “Oh, has she bothered you too much?”

“Perhaps it was my own words that bothered me more. I expected something of her that I never once asked if she wanted.”

“And her fiery response was to shut you down?”

Taeyong nodded and then looked the man more hopefully. “Do you know what I can do to make it up to her?”

_________________

Part 4

[Series Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist] | [Request Guidelines]

#kwritersworldnet #pwyl; mistletoe manor #mistletoe manor #b.a.p fiction #nct fiction #daehyun fiction #daehyun fluff #jaehyun fiction #jaehyun fluff #taeyong fiction #taeyong fluff #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fiction #kpop fanfic #kpop fluff

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nellie-elizabeth · 4 years

Text

Grey's Anatomy: Snowblind (16x15)

I don't know what to even think at this point?

Cons:

I've gone on record saying that Tom Koracick is better than Owen Hunt in every conceivable way, but especially as regards Teddy Altman. But come on. This whole love triangle/quadrangle/pentangle or whatever is getting seriously out of hand. You've got Teddy and Owen, and then Owen and Amelia, Amelia and Link, Teddy and Tom... it's a freakin' mess, and I wish all of these people would get over their bullshit and just sort out their lives. I know that this kind of thing is par for the course on a show like this, but it just goes to show that there's a right way and a wrong way to write trope-filled stories. I've enjoyed plenty of love triangles and messy situations on this show in the past, but this is one that I cannot abide. Teddy is going to feel guilty as shit, Owen is going to find out Amelia's baby might be his, Link is going to cry about it some more... I'm already so exhausted.

Nico has been deflecting with Levi, not addressing the issue about him not being out to his parents. I've got to say, I really like Levi, but I'm feeling frustrated about Nico. They haven't given him as much time to develop, so when he basically gives Levi an ultimatum, telling Levi to stop trying to change him by forcing him to talk about his feelings... it's really hard to see both sides here. I honestly think that's a writing issue. I like Nico. I want to keep liking him, and I want to learn more about him whether or not he and Levi stay together. I just wish their story was being handled with a bit more care, especially after so many great Levi-centric story-lines in recent weeks.

Are they going to kill off Alex? This isn't a complaint about the episode, just a - what the fuck? My guess is maybe he found out he was terminally ill or something, and wanted to leave so Jo and Meredith wouldn't have to watch him die. I know the actor bailed out, and maybe there was drama there, who knows? But from a story-telling standpoint, Alex's exit has so far been very bizarre, and troubling to say the least. This guy has sixteen seasons' worth of development under his belt. It's completely bonkers that he would run off and abandon his wife. It doesn't track with reality at all.

Pros:

Teddy going over to Tom's and kissing him is really annoying, but I loved their silly snowball fight earlier on. Tom's speech about how he's been trying to get in the club for two years really broke my heart. I think a lot of people have maybe felt that way in their lifetime, at some point. I know I feel it where I work, and I used to feel it doing theatre as a kid - like I was never quite in the center of things. Tom is a good man, and Teddy liking him is so sweet. It's just... clearly I'm supposed to think that Teddy kissing Tom is a bad thing, the kind of thing that is going to backfire on her. And here I am, wishing she'd just kick Owen to the curb!

As frustrating as the Alex situation is, I do like Jo and Link's friendship getting more screen-time. Great acting from them both in that final scene, where Jo talks about how she's pretty sure Alex left her, and Link rushes over to offer comfort. They have such good energy as friends who support each other no matter what. I'm glad to finally see that come through.

Bailey essentially adopts Joey, the foster kid who recently turned eighteen. I am actually all about this. Of course it's partially something she's doing in reaction to her recent miscarriage, but also it's built out of several episodes of buildup and trust. And it's like Bailey says - she has extra room, extra food, extra money, extra love to give. (She probably should have discussed it with Ben first, but I suppose that they do have a tradition in their marriage of making big life decisions without talking it over!)

Richard's story-line offered a couple of big surprises. He bonds with a resident and offers to let her do a surgery, only for Levi to stop them just in time - turns out, the woman is not a resident, but his missing patient who he has been tracking all through the hospital. This woman, Tess, has been sick throughout her whole life, and her repeated diagnoses meant that she couldn't finish med school. She just wanted a chance at following her dream. Richard ends up telling her that she still has that chance - she has more obstacles than most people, but she can still make it. And then Richard confesses that his hands have been shaking, and that his days of surgery are over.

This is a lot to process. I really liked Tess' story, and hope she does find a way to make it as a doctor. It's absolutely insane that she was about to cut someone open, but it worked within the confines of the story. And then there's Richard. He has been through hell recently, what with his marriage falling apart, getting fired, etc... and now this. He has a great speech about how his career defined his life more so than any of his relationships, and how he's not sure who he is without it. But he also knows that he got to do what he loved for a long time, and that he's still got a lot of life left to live. Richard is such a natural teacher and nurturer; it seems clear that he still has a future working in the medical field in that capacity, even if his time in the operating room has come to an end.

Then there's the DeLuca situation. He is rightfully and naturally quite upset with Meredith for saying he might be sick like his father, and even points out that he doesn't throw alzheimer's in her face every time she forgets something. And yet, as much as I want to be on Andrew's side here, there's the fact that he went out in a blizzard and walked several miles to fetch a liver for a patient, since the roads outside are all blocked off. He walks three miles both ways without gloves, saving a little girl's life but also doing damage to his hands. Jackson is adamant that Andrew needs to follow instructions or he could lose his hands, so this is clearly serious business. I'm worried for him, and I can totally understand why Meredith and Carina would be concerned.

Cormac and Meredith continue to bond over their dead spouses - I could definitely see this going in a romance direction, and it seems like that's where it's headed, but at the same time, they are also just good for each other because of their shared life experience. Cormac confesses to being lonely - he hasn't been with anyone since his wife's death. Meredith talks about the complexities of that first kiss, first "I love you" after her husband's death. I don't know if Meredith and Andrew are done for good, but Meredith's behavior here felt kind of... wistful, like maybe she can be grateful for what they had and know that it's not meant to last. I don't know if that's where we're headed, but I'm totally pulled in to the story. (Thus proving that a well-developed love triangle is possible!)

Also - the mentions of Cristina were delightful as always. She feels a lot closer to the core of the story this season than she has in a good while. And we even got a Twisted Sister reference!

There are probably details I've missed here - like Maggie confirming Teddy's suspicions, showing once again that she can never be trusted. Or Jackson making up from a fight with Vic that probably happened over on Station 19. I liked this episode, for the most part - I liked that for once, the big "disaster" of a snow storm didn't actually cause most of the drama of the episode. It was more contained, more character driven.

And next week, we get to find out whatever sort of ending they've cobbled together for Alex. I am... dreading it, y'all.

7.5/10

#review #grey's anatomy #grey's anatomy review #greys anatomy #greys anatomy review #grey's abc #greys abc

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thanksjro · 4 years

Text

Eugenesis, Part Six Scene Six: Jolup Sinks Rewind’s Ship

You sure as shit have, sugarplum.

It’s time to get the down-low on everyone’s favorite severely-depressed detective.

So, hey, remember waaaaay back in Part One, when Nightbeat used his deadname to sign a report accidentally? It’s okay if you don’t, because I sure did.

God, that was ages ago, wasn’t it? Anyway, that string of numbers is his biocode, which I guess sort of functions as his social security number. So, if any of y’all wanna go ahead and steal his identity, I’m not gonna say anything.

Now, that’s a mighty low number for a Transformer. Strikingly low, even. Turns out that Nightbeat wasn’t biomorphically created, but rather cold constructed. Cold construction as a term didn’t exist within the canon when this was written- trust me, I checked. Sure, robots were built, as opposed to bursting from another’s torso like an over-microwaved hotdog, but they usually turned out like the Dinobots… that is to say, not exactly smart.

Cold construction was an experiment, trying to build Transformers outside of the messy lines of “genetics" and “family lineage”, and as it turns out, the first batch didn’t come out as expected. Or, at least, Nightbeat didn’t.

Hey there, friends. Just a head’s up, before I try to tackle this: I am, as far as I’m aware, neurotypical. With that in mind, let’s take a look at what may be an honest attempt at inclusion for a neurodivergent take on a character in a story published in 2001.

Now, some of these snippets look kind of harsh at face value, but let’s take a closer look. Everything harsh isn’t really Nightbeat putting himself down, but rather him quoting what others have said. Notice the use of quotation marks. Think back to Part One, how he was treated by his peers- they treat him like everyone else, they respect him, they trust his input. Hell, Rodimus himself wanted Nightbeat on the mission to go get Optimus from the past. Nobody who’s been in the story has tried to belittle Nightbeat for being wired differently. That’s fucking phenomenal treatment of a character like him in the early 2000’s.

I’m probably out of my depth here, but it seemed worthwhile to mention.

Anyway, back to the plot.

Right, that.

Nightbeat gets pulled out of his inner monologue when Red Alert asks if he’s okay, since he’s been staring off into space for the last little while. They’re still waiting for Optimus to show up, and everyone’s starting to get antsy. It’s hot as hell over by this collapsing wormhole, which isn’t helping them settle either.

Something finally comes up over the horizon, but you and I both know that it wouldn’t be Eugenesis if things just got on smoothly, now would it? Quantax starts firing on the team of Transformers, while he gets nervous about the wormhole still being there. He decides that if it is, he’ll jump back to this exact point in time to show himself that it is. This is a stupid plan, for a lot of reasons.

Good idea, Quantax.

While he’s trying to come up with something better, someone lands a lucky shot and takes his ship down. Trailbreaker goes to see who it is, I guess because he isn’t aware of what happened the last time a Transformer went to go see Quantax.

Oh no, he’s been turned into The Transformers The Movie Prowl!

Before anyone can try and save Trailbreaker’s stupid ass, the Quintessential Flying Fucks show up. Nightbeat’s not having it- he orders his team to take them down.

The Quintessential Flying Fucks are here for the wormhole as well, but they’ll be taking out the Autobots beforehand. While everyone else handles the Fucks, Nightbeat chases after Quantax, who just bolted for the temple.

Nightbeat catches up and tackles him to the ground, only to get himself pummeled for his efforts. As the blows rain down, Nightbeat tries to reason with Quantax that the wormhole is dangerous and shouldn’t be tampered with. Not sure why he thinks this would ever work, but alright.

Quantax, pal, do I have some friggin’ news for you.

Quantax pulls out of Nightbeat’s hold to hide in the shadows, only to jump out and slash him once he gets close enough.

I hope nothing bad happens to Muzzle here. I feel like Nightbeat really would snap if that orb got broken.

Trying to buy some time, Nightbeat tells Quantax about the futility of trying to change the past, the future, simply because it’s all already laid out, and has been from the beginning. Quantax doesn’t take the jab well, jumping out at Nightbeat again and stabbing him in the stomach, spilling his guts. Nightbeat uses the slump of his body to topple the both of them into the hole in the floor.

Outside the temple, Centurion’s wondering just how the fuck he’s still alive. Jolup’s got him by the throat, his legs have gone AWOL, and he honestly just wants to go home at this point. Jolup’s about to drop the poor guy in a conveniently-placed pool of lava, when Optimus finally shows up.

He, Thundercracker, and Astrotrain- who I’d legitimately forgotten was in this novel- are all pointing their weapons at Jolup, and demand he put the cinnamon roll down and back away slowly. It’s a sweet gesture. Too bad Centurion’s already dead, though.

With a grand, villainous flourish, he drops Centurion into the lava, where he promptly explodes, then flies off for the temple. Astrotrain pursues, as Optimus orders Thundercracker to find Nightbeat and get back to the eighties.

Sevax is in the middle of a scrape with Hound, about to be shot to death. Looks like it’s all over for this son of a gun.

Or not. Man, there goes Rewind’s weird coworker ship. Too bad, he’d already written a huge chunk of his slowburn Ultra Magnus/Hound coffeeshop AU slashfic.

Jolup tells Sevax to slap a bandaid on it and get ready to go while he goes and grabs Ryknia.

Back inside the temple, Nightbeat is clinging to Quantax like his life depends on it- because it does. They’re both hanging off the edge of a hole that’s filled with molten lava. Quantax pulls himself up with his very strong arms, just in time to stand up and immediately be shot back into the pit. Nightbeat dares to dream a dream almost too beautiful- that Optimus is here to save him, like the romance novel protagonist he is!

No such luck. It’s just the Quintessential Flying Fucks. But how did they shoot Quantax? Didn’t he make that impossible? Good thing they dragged Trailbreaker along for the ride, and also good thing he’d managed to keep hold of his gun. Loopholes are fun.

The Fucks run for the wormhole, and all Nightbeat can think to do at this point is stand in front of it and hope for the best. Or maybe the least worst, in this case.

But… but the lore!

Nightbeat gets them with the device as they go through the portal, thus wiping everything from their brains and assumedly dooming them to a short, brutal loop for the rest of time. Thus the plight of the Quintessential Flying Fucks draws to a flaccid and confusing close. I had a feeling this might happen. I was hoping it wouldn’t, though.

Thundercracker soars through the wormhole next, and Nightbeat manages to hit him with the mindpurge just as he crosses the barrier. He’s not even sure if it’s working anymore at this point.

Then Optimus gets there, and it’s time to take him back. They hold hands, click their heels three times, say “there’s no place like home”, and step into 1984. Optimus stares at the collection of almost-dead robots on the Ark, not really feeling the scene, as Nightbeat blathers on. He offers to let Optimus keep his memories of 2013, so he can try and prevent his own death. Optimus… well…

And then he gives Nightbeat a gun and tells him to shoot him until he’s basically dead. Which he does, once the guy’s had the entirety of the last few days scrubbed out of his head. There’s an actual reason for this, though I won’t lie, I kinda freaked out a little when I first got to this part. In order for Aunty to reformat Optimus into his fresh new Earth bod, he needs to be injured enough for the scans to pick up. While this is happening, we also get an explanation for why the 1984 Decepticons got reformatted too- the mindpurge dropped and rolled under the counter while Nightbeat was busy murdering his celebrity crush, and wiped the entire history of the war out of the ship’s database. Now it didn’t see Autobots and Decepticons, but rather just a whole slew of injured robots. So if we want to end prejudice, what we need to do is mindwipe our cars and then shoot our dads in the chest. Gotcha.

And then Mount St. Hilary erupts. Time to go.

Back in 2013, Astrotrain’s been reduced to being transportation, as he always is, and the team’s watching the wormhole cook the atmosphere around it from a good fifty miles away. Fun fact, the curvature of the earth makes it so that we can’t see more than eight miles in any given direction from sea-level. Even though they’re holed up in a building right now and arguably above sea-level, I can’t help but wonder just how friggin’ big Cybertron must be for them to be able to see this right now.

Genocide’s over! Time to break out the booze.

Nightbeat’s taking his sweet time, but it isn’t for a lack of trying. He’s been dodging the repair beams, trying not to kick dead people in the head as he scrambles for the portal. He gets there eventually, the wormhole now running so hot he literally bursts into flames and his eyes melt out of his head as he passes through.

There’s my macabre little man! Back to normal at last. All’s well that ends well!

The wormhole explodes as it shuts down behind him.

Hours after, things finally cool down enough for a rescue team to go try and find survivors.

Motherfuckin’-

NO.

NO, NIGHTBEAT, YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED.

That’s the end of Part Six.

#transformers #jro #eugenesis #part six #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #prose writing

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trishmilburn · 5 years

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An Exploration of The Untamed’s Romance & Mystery, Episode 5

Disclaimer: This post and others in this series will be filled with loads of spoilers if you haven’t seen The Untamed, the Chinese drama based on Mo Xiang Tong Xiu’s novel, Mo Dao Zu Shi (The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation). My chief interest in doing this series as I re-watch the drama is to chronicle the development of the romance between Wei Ying and Lan Zhan, but I also highlight the progression of the mystery that helps bring them together. Keep in mind that I’m writing these posts with the knowledge of what’s going to happen throughout the series and having read the novel. If you’d like to read my examinations of previous episodes, links are provided at the end of this post.

On to Episode 5…

We pick up where we left off at the end of Episode 4, with Wei Ying and Lan Zhan fighting at the back of the Cloud Recesses. Wei Ying tells Lan Zhan he thought he heard something and thinks someone might have snuck in. Lan Zhan grabs him and hauls him off to the library to serve out his punishment for being a bad boy.

Once in the library, we see bad boy Wei Ying copying the oh so many Lan Clan rules, and being very bored while doing it, so he starts to watch good boy Lan Zhan as he reads a book. Of course, “WangXian” is playing on the soundtrack and Wei Ying, even unknown to himself, looks smitten. But honestly, who wouldn’t be? Have you seen Wang Yibo as Lan Zhan? But I digress.

When Wei Ying compliments Lan Zhan’s calligraphy, he gets no response. After saying “Lan Wangji” a couple of times, he says “Lan Zhan” louder and finally draws his future love’s attention. But when he asks why Lan Zhan finds him so annoying, he once again gets no answer. (Here, I’ll answer for Lan Zhan: It’s because he’s drawn to you, and it annoys the fire out of him because you’re so not his type – or so he thinks.) Though Wei Ying apologizes for everything he’s done wrong so far, he points out that it’s not all his fault. After all, Lan Zhan hit him first the night Wei Ying snuck into the Cloud Recesses, bringing alcohol with him. He then gives us some more foreshadowing for when the story turns darker by saying, “I’m that kind of person who wouldn’t raise his hand against others unless they strike first.”

He asks Lan Zhan if he’ll give him the honor of looking at him (yes, this is totally a bro thing to ask), but Lan Zhan just tells him to copy the rules one more time because although Wei Ying has apologized, he feels no remorse. And then he uses the muting spell on Wei Ying yet again.

Next we see the brother-sister duo of Wen Ning and Wen Qing talking, and we get another reference to there being something wrong with Wen Ning. Wen Qing laments that though their family has practiced medicine for generations, she can’t even treat her own brother beyond the medicine he already takes. Then she promises him that she’ll take him away from Heavenly Nightless soon. We get another clue that he’s in danger there, that he’s being used or abused so that Wen Qing will do what Wen Ruohan wants her to.

Now back to the library, where this time it’s Lan Zhan looking up from his book to glance at Wei Ying working. But Wei Ying isn’t actually copying rules; he’s drawing Lan Zhan because, again, that’s totally a bro thing to do. No, Wei Ying is totally crushing on Lan Zhan but is just too dense to realize it yet. All those stares and grins and need to get closer to Lan Zhan, ostensibly to be the friend of this guy who isn’t giving him the time of day, are giving it away to anyone with a single clue. But, to give Wei Ying a bit of an out, who would have expected him to crush at first sight and on a guy when he’s always flirted with girls? When Wei Ying shows Lan Zhan the picture he’s drawn of him, Lan Zhan pronounces him “extremely childish.” What I think is really going on here is that Lan Zhan is wondering why someone would want to draw him. Perhaps he’s even touched somewhere deep inside, but he’s not self-aware enough to acknowledge that. But when he re-opens his book, any goodwill toward Wei Ying that might have been beginning to flicker is doused when he sees not the text he expects but a pornographic drawing. And that brings about the biggest expression change in Lan Zhan so far. His eyes go wide, and he leaps to his feet with an indignant “Wei Ying!” This all amuses Wei Ying mightily, and he tells Lan Zhan that he doesn’t believe he’s never seen anything like that before. Lan Zhan responds by telling him to get out of the library so they can fight, but Wei Ying says that fighting is prohibited in the Cloud Recesses, which just makes Lan Zhan angrier. So angry that he shreds the naughty book, much to Wei Ying’s anguish.

Next we see Wei Ying by the creek telling Nie Huiasang and Jiang Cheng about what happened in the library and how he thinks it calls for a celebration that he was the first one to cause Lan Zhan to lose control that way. Jiang Cheng, predictably, says that it’s nothing to be proud of and, “Our family’s reputation is gone because of you.” Wei Ying tells him that he already apologized to Lan Zhan but that he didn’t accept it and muted him. “What’s wrong with me teasing him?” Nothing, sweetie.

They suddenly become aware that something odd is in the nearby trees, and Wei Ying throws a paper talisman that direction. One of the Wens’ spying birds, which looks like it’s made up of black smoke, takes flight. They wonder why it’s there. Nothing good, that’s for sure.

Lan Zhan is telling Xichen that the energy barrier at the back of the mountain keeps getting disturbed. Xichen asks if he’s been able to determine who has been back there, and after a telling hesitation he admits it’s Wei Ying. Again we see one of those knowing grins from big brother Lan when he sees how much this information bothers little brother Lan. I think Xichen has been shipping WangXian since he first saw those two in the same room together. Lan Zhan asks if he should strengthen the barrier, but Xichen says it was set up by their ancestors and should be fine as long as “she” doesn’t go there. Lan Zhan asks, “She?” But Xichen says they’ll talk about that later. The she is a big reveal later down the road.

A Lan disciple, Su She (hate that guy, you’ll understand why later), shows up and tells the Lan brothers that a villager from Colorful Robes Town (also known as Caiyi) reported evil water spirits causing trouble in a nearby lake.

Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng go to see Yanli at her lodgings but are surprised when Wen Qing is the one who opens the door. You can tell Jiang Cheng is harboring a crush of his own when he grins like a fool upon seeing her. I don’t blame him. She’s beautiful. This crush makes me sad though because I know what lies ahead for them – sacrifice for her and betrayal for him. Despite the fact that I’m eventually going to want to knock Jiang Cheng into next week for being such a damn, self-centered fool, even fully hating him for a while, there’s this other part that harbors the fantasy that if things had just gone a different way he and Wen Qing might have found happiness and made beautiful babies together.

They learn that Wen Qing is there because Yanli hasn’t been feeling well. When Wen Qing sees the close, affectionate bond between Yanli and Wei Ying, it reminds her of her own bond with Wen Ning.

Next we see Wei Ying, Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing catching up with the Lan brothers, asking to go along with them to deal with the water monsters for the experience since they don’t have classes for the next few days. Lan Zhan says no, that it’s against the rules and there’s no need, but Xichen overrules him to Lan Zhan’s well-contained but obvious surprise. (Shippers gotta do what shippers gotta do.) When Wen Ning shows up, wanting to go as well, Wen Qing tries to get him to go back and rest like she told him to, but Wei Ying speaks up for his archery skill and that he should be allowed to come along. Xichen agrees to let him accompany them as well.

While on the road to Caiyi, Lan Zhan asks Xichen why he’s allowing the others to go with them. Xichen replies he could tell Lan Zhan wanted the two young lords of the Jiang Clan to come along. He asks his little brother, “Isn’t that so?” Lan Zhan says nothing in reply. The fact that he doesn’t disagree with his brother shows that Xichen can read what he’s thinking despite what he says.

When we see Lan Zhan and Wei Ying shown to their room at an inn along the way, I wondered why exactly these two are sharing a room. Wouldn’t it make more sense for them to share with their brothers? But maybe Xichen and Jiang Cheng get private rooms since Xichen is his clan leader and Jiang Cheng is next in line to be his. It won’t be the last time – or the most memorable one – that Lan Zhan and Wei Ying share a room at an inn. (This is an even truer statement when referring to the book, which includes a scene that had to be left out of the drama unless they wanted to be shut down by the government censors immediately and perhaps even locked up.) They are shown to their present room by perhaps the laziest innkeeper ever. Despite the fact that he says they’re the first guests he’s had since the lake started eating people, and thus he’s had plenty of time to clean the room, he hasn’t done so and tells them to do it themselves. Rude!

Meanwhile, another fisherman is taken under by the mysterious lake monster. Dude, why are you night fishing on a lake that’s eating people?! I guess Nessie was hungry.

The next day, Wei Ying asks Xichen if he thinks the evil water spirits and the spiritual absorption issues are connected, but he doesn’t really get a satisfactory answer. So after offering Lan Zhan a drink while Xichen walks ahead, he asks Lan Zhan if there’s been any progress with the spiritual absorption issue. Lan Zhan responds simply, “None.” Oh, Lan Zhan, man of few words. Wei Ying says he feels as if Xichen knows something that he’s keeping from them, and he sees something in Lan Zhan’s expression that says he thinks the same. But when he presses Lan Zhan on this point, Lan Zhan simply takes his jug of wine and pours it out on the road, saying, “Drinking alcohol is prohibited when monster hunting.”

They arrive at Blue Spiritual Lake and board boats, typically one or two people per boat. Xichen is in the front, and there are four people in his boat, Su She among them. But I had to laugh at the last boat filled with seven people. I imagined the director saying, “Okay, all you unnamed Lan extras, in this boat.” I wouldn’t have been surprised if they ended up being eaten, the redshirts of Gusu.

So we’re on a foggy lake looking for man-eating monsters, and still Wei Ying looks over at Lan Zhan wearing that “I like him” smile. Then he notices Lan Zhan’s boat is displacing too much water, meaning that one of the monsters is hanging onto the bottom. So that the creature doesn’t catch on and either get away or endanger Lan Zhan, Wei Ying pretends to goof off by using his paddle to fling water at Lan Zhan. As soon as Lan Zhan leaps from his boat toward Wei Ying’s, the creature flips his boat. Wei Ying walks forward to be next to Lan Zhan and says that he wasn’t purposefully splashing water at him and that they can be even now. Lan Zhan moves away and says for Wei Ying to stay farther away from him. Xichen’s little knowing grin comes out again at this interchange. It really is like Wei Ying is flirting and Lan Zhan is determined not to return his feelings. This distance he puts between them is more evidence that Lan Zhan deliberately puts up a barrier around himself, physically and emotionally.

After Wei Ying kills one of the monsters, which I have to say looks like sentient seaweed, with his sword, Lan Zhan looks reluctantly impressed and asks him the name of his sword. When Wei Ying replies that it’s Subian (translated as “Whatever”), he has to explain that it is indeed the sword’s name, not that he’s just saying, “Whatever” in a flippant way.

One of the weedy monsters attacks and injures Jiang Cheng’s leg, and Wen Qing leaps over to his boat to treat him. Cue more crushing by Jiang Cheng. Pretty cultivator girl has healing skills. What’s not to like, right? Well, other than her kinfolk back at Heavenly Nightless.

When the creatures start gathering together, trying to lead all the boats to the middle of the lake, Lan Zhan says all the cultivators should immediately return to shore. Then Wei Ying figures out that the creatures are forming a waterborne abyss that will suck all the boats under, so Lan Zhan says they should abandon the boats and ride their swords. Everyone leaps up into the air to board their swords except Su She, who sends his sword into the abyss, trying to kill the creatures. (Oh, why couldn’t he have gone with that sword?) When he’s unable to recall his sword to escape, Wen Ning moves forward to help him. Seeing this, Wei Ying dives down to save Wen Ning. But when Wen Ning turns around and his eyes are completely white right before he faints, this shocks Wei Ying. Lan Zhan realizes the danger all three men are in and dives down to bring them all up into the air. That Lan Zhan, he’s handy to have around. But Wei Ying, being Wei Ying, has to tease a bit and asks why Lan Zhan is holding him by his collar when he can hold his hand instead. But Lan Zhan replies, “I don’t like touching strangers.” Well, that’s nonsense, Wei Ying basically says because they are well-acquainted. However, Lan Zhan disagrees.

Xichen plays his magical xiao and sends a spell toward the abyss. Right after, we see another of those freaky Wen smoke birds flying away. Yeah, that’s not suspicious at all.

Back at the inn later, Wen Ning is still unconscious and Wei Ying is checking his eyes, which are back to normal. When Wen Qing enters the room, he asks if Wen Ning had any past experiences that make him so easily affected by evil spirits. When she doesn’t answer, he figures he’s hit close to the truth. He gives her a protective amulet for Wen Ning and leaves.

Jiang Cheng is walking through the village when he passes a vendor hawking hair accessories. When she tells him hairbrushes symbolize yearning, he pauses. He’s certainly been yearning. We’re going to see the comb he buys again.

Once Wen Ning is awake, they all go out on boats in the canal that runs through the town. The way they don’t have to paddle and the slow pace at which they are moving reminds me of the It’s a Small World ride at Disney World. Wei Ying is reclining eating loquats like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Xichen, who is in the boat in front of Wei Ying’s along with Lan Zhan, asks his brother what he’s thinking about. Lan Zhan replies the waterborne abyss. Xichen wears another one of those tiny knowing smiles right before Lan Zhan admits that what Wei Ying said about there possibly being a connection between the lake monsters and the spirit absorption isn’t unreasonable. He asks Xichen if there are any clues about a connection, and his brother replies that he isn’t sure but hopes there isn’t. Because if it’s what he thinks then it’s possible they might not be able to stop it.

Meanwhile, Wei Ying gets that flirty mischief in his eyes again and calls out to Lan Zhan, who is standing ramrod straight (as opposed to Wei Ying’s reclining), to have a loquat and tosses it at him. Lan Zhan catches it, says no thanks, and tosses it back, all without looking at Wei Ying. Xichen says that if Lan Zhan wants a loquat, he can buy a basket full. Lan Zhan says he doesn’t want it. Yeah, I feel like we’re talking about more than fruit here.

The parting shot is Wei Ying grabbing a couple of jugs of Emperor’s Smile and tossing down payment as he passes. Considering the fact that Lan Zhan poured out the wine he had earlier in their trip and the Lans are right in front of him, I can imagine the look of mischief, sneaky satisfaction and barely contained laughter on his face as he does this. It’s also both sad and sweet when I think about how much Lan Zhan’s view of Wei Ying’s love for this particular alcohol will change as the story progresses. But for now, we’ll just enjoy the gradual development of their feelings for each other.

Previous posts in this series:

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

#the untamed #wei ying #wei wuxian #lan zhan #lan wangji #wangxian #lan xichen #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wen ning #wen qing

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girlobsessed21 · 5 years

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The 100 - 6x04: The face behind the glass review and predictions.

Before we get into the specifics, I’m a little scared of the rehashing of old narratives that comes to surface in this episode especially. Not sure how I feel about all the parallels. In my trailer analysis, I did point out the fact that it does not seem that much different than previous seasons: There are no good guys, we kill them so that we can live and blah, blah, blah. Even so, I’m interested and invested to see what types of unique twists and turns this story will throw at us. Jason Rothenberg, you better not disappoint.

The face behind the glass written by Charmaine DeGrate and directed by Tim Scanlan, who is known for directing the sex scenes on the show. Dead giveaway. Not my favorite so far, but a lot of things happened that has me excited for the rest of the season.

Is there a better way to open an episode than Diyoza joking with her unborn child? It’s no secret she’s in my top 5 favorite characters and keeps climbing the charts. So, the Sanctumites offer her a deal: Save Rose and we’ll take care of your baby, which she takes, to offer her child a life and it’s something to do other than trying to survive. But in known Diyoza fashion on condition of a gun and a bike.

Then, Simone begs Russel to cancel naming day on account of spies inside the compund. They’ve already been deprived of three primes (Kaylee’s family) and Rose. Pushing them towards extinction at an alarming rate and it once again becomes obvious that Clarke will become Josephine, yet I’m now intrigued by Madi. The cultish way in which these people worship the primes are uncanny and wayward. But then again all cults are weird. I don’t believe in the divinity of the primes either.

Russel disagrees by saying: “If we cancel, Gabriel wins.” Last week I thought that Gabriel will be brought back to life in one of the hosts, but I think there’s something else going on there. It’s clear now that Gabriel and his children are against the revival of the primes, bringing about the question: How has he survived all these years?

Priya and Jordan share some sweet intimate moments where he tells her he feels guilty for becoming another taunting face behind the glass. Which was necessary to show he’s still grieving his parents even while having fun. Her referral to this line later before she becomes a prime is crucial though, meaning there might be a possibility for her to come back.

The four pillars of Sanctum: Repent, Renew, Rejoice, Rebirth. Accentuating rebirth very literally. We know from episode two that Russel Lightbourne does not believe in God, but by killing a person for no reason other than so that someone you love can live is playing god in the cruelest way imaginable.

Embracing their traditions, Clarke decides to repent for her sins. She tries to apologize to Raven who won’t have any of it and compares her to Octavia. For me, the biggest difference between Clarke and Octavia is the remorse she feels. She knows what she did was wrong and she’s trying to make up for it. Therefore she deserves forgiveness. I wonder how Raven will react to Clarke’s death?

Gabriel? Who the f#@k are Gabriel and his children?

As I said earlier, the old man is definitely Gabriel. We don’t know if he’s dead or alive. It can’t be that he lives within a computer because then his existence would be known.

My guess is the split within Sanctum came recently (using the term loosely). Gabriel had to be one of the 12 primes since he came with them and his blood was also altered. Meaning his conscience was also transferred into a host. He was against the hostile takeover of innocent bodies and decided to rebel by saving the hosts.

If this happened sixty odd years ago, Gabriel could still be alive somewhere (perhaps in hiding due to a failed conviction) and old. Very, very old. I’m not sure whether his followers are literally his children or just those that have sided with him, but either way, they want to continue his cause. Which they’ve clearly lost sight of. Save the hosts, don’t kill them.

Or this anomaly they mentioned somehow extends life, only it’s dangerous. Who knows, I’m a bit boggled here.

Xavier purposefully left his bag out to save Octavia and Rose. I’m sure I’ve seen this before. Right, Lincoln kidnapped her and saved her simultaneously. I know this is such a retelling of their story, but I loved Linctavia and thus cannot help boarding this ship.

Another season one throwback to Bellamy and Charlotte. But I think I’ve voiced my concerns about these. Poor, poor Rose. That scene was heartbreaking.

Boy oh boy Bellarke and their romances

Clarke apologizes to Bellamy and states her reasons even though Bellamy has already forgiven her because he would be a hypocrite not to. And they share what has now become known as a Bellarke hug since it’s all these idiots can ever do.

Clarke hooks up with Cillian (who turns out to be the spy) within two seconds, now I’m not sure about you, but I rolled my eyes. Oh, cute, Clarke has yet another lover added to her long list of previous ones. Finn, Niyalah, Lexa, and Bellamy always on the side. I’m glad it’s a guy though to showcase that she is indeed bisexual and not gay. Bisexuality really needs some appreciation.

No one can tell if Bellamy was only upset with the party as he stated or Clarke having fun with some random dude. Most will say it’s the former and it probably is, yet it’s filmed in a different way. Why did they put him in this scene in the first place?

When he sees her having fun, he smiles, he’s happy for her. Then the doctor’s all over her and all of a sudden his attitude changes. I don’t want to read too much into it since I had to watch it like six times to draw this conclusion.

He’s hurt and grieving over a lot of things, especially his sister and then he witnesses his “platonic soulmate” in the arms of another man. She’s always known exactly how to get him to open up, what to say to make him feel better and even though he knows he’s not allowed to feel that way, he’s jealous, he realizes he still needs her.

And that spurs the single tear and his fight with Echo. He even spares another glance over his shoulder when she asks what’s wrong. Or was that just random? Because once he’s calmed down he apologizes to his girlfriend and comforts her when she tells him her backstory after six years of being lied to.

I felt for Echo, her life wasn’t easy, but none of their lives were. Honestly, I just can’t find Becho’s connection. Even though I try, because at some point we have to accept the fact that this is possibly a long term pairing. I’ve made my peace, I’ll ignore them. Give Echo an individual storyline and I might just start liking her more.

A Red Queen and a terrorist walk into a bar

First of all, I have to show my gratitude for the glimpses of Octavia’s humanity. She’s in there and she’s slowly swimming to the top. That thorned rose is blossoming once again, thank you, Bellamy, for your part in this.

This is a weapon of mass destruction if I’ve ever seen one. A pregnant terrorist and a former evil queen. Yes, this is what I’m talking about. I might just write fanfiction about it.

“The devils of earth become the heroes of Sanctum.” They’re set out to kill Gabriel, but I doubt that will occur. From all I’ve heard, he’s good. Enhanced by Cillian’s words: “There are two sides to every story.” So, they will most likely join forces against Sanctum in some way. Hopefully not blowing up another planet. Please do something interesting here.

Josephine!Clarke

Okay, my first take on Josephine Ada Lightbourne was very wrong. To me, she seemed smart, funny and confident. Now she looks like the devil in disguise (No pun intended.)

Reverting back to my earlier assumption about Delilah/Priya. It’s evident that Delilah no longer exists within her body which sets Jordan on edge. But that small statement along with knowing the mind of the host is erased but the brain is unharmed propels me to believe they can come back. Somehow. Hopefully.

Simone says, “I’ll prep for insertion, you clear the host.” Did that mean Clarke’s mind might be stored in some device too? They must have a way of extracting consciousness to transfer it to a host. Thus Clarke Griffin’s mind will be backed up somewhere as well. Not for too long before it’s disposed of, I’m sure.

Come on Madi (Lexa and Becca), Bellamy, Abby, Jordan, Raven, Murphy. You have to figure this out and bring her back before its too late. I refuse to believe Princess Clarke is dead. If she is, my mind is blown in a bullet to the brain kind of way.

One scenario is that Josephine will have to give forth a ruse of being Clarke and willingly accept the “honor” of becoming a prime. She’s been indulging in all their other conventions, why not this one, right? But Jordan now knows what happened to Delilah, so they will try to stop her. Most likely Madi or Bellamy will notice a difference within her.

The dangerous alternative will be for Josephine to simply embrace her new host by saying they brought her to life after Cillian murdered her. Sanctumites, you have no idea how much Clarke’s people care about her. This might even sway those currently mad at her for an investigation.

A few last things

Russel does feel bad about what he’s doing, but so did Dante Wallace.

Raven and Wick (Sorry the other mechanic) what is that? Five minutes after Shaw’s death. Or was it only the motorcycle. Why does this show give us seedlings of relationships that will have no chance of growing?

Is Shadeheda Cadogen and what will he bring to the table?

Madi tasting her first cookie was awesome!

I missed Murphy this episode. His presence is required at all times.

What will happen to Niylah on the ship? And when will Indra make her appearance?

Will Russel and Simone find out that Abby knows how to create nightblood?

Let me know what you think.

#The 100 #the100 #the 100 season 6 #The 100 s6 #the1006x04 #the 100 season six #the 100 6x04 #the100 6x04 #the100 6x04 review

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moogsthewriter · 5 years

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Thoughts on Avengers: End Game

Put below a cut for spoilers, but the spoiler-free tl;dr is that I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about it because there’s things I liked, things I don’t like, and things I’m not sure if I should accept.

Let’s be blunt: Pulling off Endgame in a way that satisfies everyone, makes logical sense using reality-bending stones, and ties up 10+ years of movies was pretty much impossible. Obviously there’s a lot of debate, and I’m probably not adding anything new to the discourse, but I keep losing sleep and/or having weird dreams, so I clearly need to get it off my chest so to speak to try and ease my mind. So I’ll just touch on a few key topics:

The Timeline: This I know is getting a lot of hot debate, and it’s actually caused my husband and I to raise our voices at each other over it (which is honestly not surprising – the biggest conflict in our marriage thus far has been that he’s pro-Cap and I’m pro-Iron Man, lol). The most helpful explanation to me has been this reddit thread that essentially compares the timeline to an operating system and that essentially, by Cap returning the stones to their original times, it “rebooted” the main timeline from those points on (though the events still happened for the future characters because of the whole “the past becomes your future which can’t change your past” thing). This – in theory – helps explain why it doesn’t blow up the GOTG timeline to have past!Thanos + army come and be killed in 2023 or whatever year it was. I admit, I’m still a bit skeptical about this, primarily because of the Old Cap ending. The reset works for everyone except him in that case, and I know that Peggy Carter was a badass and could keep a lot of secrets, but I just don’t see it being possible for Steve to hide out and not impact the timeline… I also think it will be telling to see what happens in GOTG 3, because clearly Peter was searching for Gamora, and if this “system reboot” theory holds true, then she should not appear at all in that film, other than in recordings/flashbacks/etc. (unless they try and do something with the Soul Stone, which is a whole other kettle of fish). So I think the timeline can sort of work logically, but that leads into two other key points…

Steve’s Ending: Honestly, this was the worst note for me to end on and is the biggest source of contention between me and my husband on our perspectives of this film. We both agree that it’s totally in character for MCU!Steve to do something like this – husband thinks it’s good to let Steve have the happy ending he wants after everything, but I view it as yet another instance of Steve literally NEVER practicing what he preaches. To me, “getting a life” and having a happy ending that also shows ACTUAL character growth would be Steve finally accepting that he is in the future and it is time for him to move on AND THAT HE DOESN’T NEED ROMANCE TO BE HAPPY. But again… having such an ending would be antithetical to everything they’ve done with Cap since Winter Soldier, let’s be honest, so as much as I hated it (and think it throws the timeline thing into question, as mentioned above), I do think it fits the character.

Morgan Stark: As much as I loved seeing more of dad!Tony, there wasn’t much point to have Morgan as a character in the film unless it was setting it up for Tony to have to decide between the reality with his daughter and the reality with his spiderson everyone else, which is an excellent point that I know others have raised all over social media. HOWEVER, I also think that this isn’t so much a desire for a plot point for Tony as it is to be a... IDK, a consolation prize, I guess, for Pepper – yes, she loses Tony, but she gets their daughter, whereas if they reset the timeline like we all thought they would, she probably wouldn’t have gotten either (more on that in a sec). And THAT idea stems from the general problem of…

The female character story lines: It is very clear to me that the writers really had no idea what to do with the story arcs for the female characters in this film. For a character like Captain Marvel, it kind of makes sense, since apparently the script was finalized a few years ago (aka before the CM movie came out). But they’ve NEVER known what to do with Natasha’s arc, clearly, or with Pepper, either (at least not since the early Iron Man films, if even then), and so to me, the Morgan Stark thing ties more broadly into that. Basically, a bunch of dudes thinking through this problem with apparently little/no input from women (if the writing credits are accurate).

Natasha’s ending: Speaking of Natasha’s arc, this is the character death that is honestly bothering me the most out of the entire film. As much as I love Jeremy Renner and the Hawkeye of the comics, there has never been much compelling about his character (mostly because the writers have never done anything to make him to be compelling, let’s be real) – everything I (and I think a lot of the fandom) love about MCU!Clint is directly tied to his relationship to Natasha. I get that they were trying to not screw him over completely and do… something with him (very clearly not much, because he doesn’t really do much after Vormir????), but if he had been able to succeed in the sacrifice, that actually would’ve given both a point to his weird arc in this film AND would have set up even greater conflict/character development for Nat in a future film. Plus, it was hard to actually mourn Nat’s death because other than those REALLY SHORT scenes at the lake, it’s like it never happened or something. (I do wonder if there’s a bit more of that kind of content in the deleted scenes, but that would also speak to decisions of treatment of women in this film.)

Thor’s arc: There’s a LOT I could say about this, but I’ll keep it short-ish because this is already getting ridiculously long. Overall, I think it’s actually an interesting direction for Thor to go as a character (I can see where some think it’s backsliding from Ragnarok but I don’t necessarily think so… I can go more into that if people want), but it was really difficult to see his PTSD get treated so lightly. This is again where it makes sense for the characters involved – most of his screentime was with Rocket, who is probably the literal worst at dealing with past traumas in a positive way within the MCU, and other than Iron Man 3 and parts of Winter Soldier, no MCU film has really even touched the issue of PTSD well, especially in these later phases – so it makes sense on one level that it was the way it was, but… yeah, still. (Trauma is also why I really didn’t like Tony’s interaction with Howard, but I’m not even going to touch that because then we’ll be here forever.) But yeah, that’s another thing that will be interesting to see if they explore in GOTG 3.

Tony’s arc: This was obviously one of the hardest things for me to deal with, as a Tony fan, but I also was absolutely convinced he was going to die once Stephen traded the time stone to save Tony’s life in Infinity War, so to me it was a matter of figuring out how he was going to die. And honestly? I actually thought it was one of the better ways for Tony to go out. Why do I say that? Two things. One – the “I am Iron Man” line was perfect, even with – honestly, perhaps because of – its raspy croakiness. To me, that summed up Tony perfectly – he is the man in control of and behind the design the suit and thus the true hero (because the suit HE DESIGNED was able to work out getting the stones/gauntlet off Thanos’ hand), and even when he’s at the very end of his rope, he never gives up when it comes to trying to do the right thing (even if he goes about it in the wrong ways and is often his own worst enemy). So yeah, it felt like pure Tony Stark to me. Two – the fact that he went out with his real family by his side. One of my fave moments was him finally laying into Steve and the rest of the team at the start of the film, and I think his closing moments mirrored that well. Yes, he can be on cordial terms with the rest of the Avengers, but they were never his true family – his real family was the ones with him at the very end, and I was honestly so relieved that there was no bullshit last-words exchange between him and Cap that tried to cement some mythical bond that was never really present in MCU in the first place (comics, yes; cinematic universe, hell no) that that overruled everything else I feel about his death. (Though I could obviously go much more into that but again… this is hella long so I’ll stop now.)

Anyway, IDK if anyone made it to the end of this thing, but I feel like I’ve gotten a weight off my chest, so… mission accomplished, I guess? Lord knows I could write an entire novel about my feels as a result of this movie – I didn’t even touch treatment of the Wakandans, Captain Marvel’s non-appearance in the film, or other “implied but never confirmed/denied” elements of the plot. But I’m probably close to Tumblr’s bs limits anyway, so. Congrats to you if you made it this far lol.

#endgame #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #commentary #endgame commentary

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mad-madam-m · 6 years

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Can you tell us your favourite romance books? While I'm at it I want to ask your favourite fantasy books too =)

Romance

Literally anything by Courtney Milan - No, I’m not exaggerating. She’s one of the few authors on my “oh hey you have a new book coming out score let me go buy it on Amazon immediately” list. I don’t read them immediately because I save them for when I know I need a really good book, because I’ve never hated a book of hers. Some of them I like better than others, but they’ve all been great. Personal favorites include The Governess Affair, The Heiress Effect and The Suffragette Scandal. She writes both contemporary (the Cyclone series) and historical (the Turner series, the Brothers Sinister series, and currently the Worth Saga). Seriously I could probably go on about her books all day long, so I’ll stop there. They’re amazing and I love them all.

Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie - This book is hilarious and kept me up until 1 in the morning so I could finish it. The bet was great, the side characters were just as fun as the main couple, and I really liked how the happy ending showed that different people have different definitions of a happy ending: one couple had kids, one couple didn’t, and one woman never got married because she didn’t want to. In Romancelandia, where the happy ending almost always involves the hero and heroine getting pregnant, that was a really refreshing change.

Lord of Scoundrels by Loretta Chase - I know a lot of people are put off by the asshole alpha hero trope, and Sebastian…definitely fits it, but oh man, Jessica is more than up to the task of putting him in his place and it’s an absolute delight to read about. (SHE SHOOTS HIM BECAUSE HE’S A DICK. IT’S SO SATISFYING.) I flipping adore this novel, and I adore Loretta Chase’s work in general. If you’d prefer one of her books with a hero who’s not quite as much of a complete jerk, I’d suggest Miss Wonderful, Mr. Impossible, or Last Night’s Scandal (all of which rank just as high for me).

A Week to Be Wicked by Tessa Dare - Tessa Dare writes what I like to call “historical romantic comedies,” because her stuff always ends up making me laugh out loud. This one is basically a road trip AND a fake elopement as the hero (a notorious rake) and heroine (a bookish nerd) head to Scotland so that she can present her findings at a geological symposium and potentially win a prize of 500 pounds. It’s…so good, especially watching them fall for each other as they travel and how into it he gets because he sees how important it is to her, even if he knows nothing about geology. (I...actually ended up rereading this book as I was answering this ask because I picked it up just to remind myself of where they were going and...didn’t stop. >.>)

The Jade Temptress by Jeannie Lin - I’ll be honest, I read the first book in this series and I liked it, but I didn’t love it. In fact, I almost didn’t pick up this book because I was so meh on the first one. But boy howdy, I’m glad I did, because The Jade Temptress? Holy monkeys this book was fantastic. The heroine is a courtesan accused of murder, and the hero is the constable investigating the crime. It’s set in ancient China, the mystery plot is so, so good, and the tension between the two leads was delicious.

(Yes, these are mostly historical romances. What can I say, I like historical romances. XD)

Romance/Fantasy

The His Fair Assassin series by Robin LaFevers - This is a YA series and a little more alternate history than true fantasy, but the series is just so rich and fascinating. The characters are amazing, the political intrigue is just *kisses fingers*, and the way the stories weave together is just brilliant. The first two, Grave Mercy and Dark Triumph, are my personal favorites, but the final one is very, very good as well.

The Iron Seas series by Meljean Brook - Okay, this is steampunk more than fantasy, but I absolutely adored the worldbuilding in this series. Like. Wow. The steampunk world and the history she’s built out is just fascinating, and I’ve loved every glimpse I’ve gotten of it. The third book in the series, Riveted, is my favorite, but I haven’t yet read the fourth book or most of the accompanying novellas.

Fantasy

The Discworld series by Terry Pratchett - Pratchett’s satire is on point and he’s one of the rare male authors who can actually write female characters well. Personal favorites in this particular series include Guards! Guards!, Men at Arms, and Witches Abroad. But honestly, just pick up a Discworld book and give it a go. The Night Watch series and the Witches series are the best places to get started, IMO, but I’ve yet to read a single Discworld novel that I straight-up didn’t like.

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by N.K. Jemisin - Oh man, first-person POV fantasy isn’t often something I’m into, but Yeine’s narration is just glorious to read. I ended up bingeing the last 60% of the book all in one morning because I just couldn’t get enough of it. I’ve also read the next book in the series, The Broken Kingdoms, and it was just as good. The only reason I’m not reccing the entire series is because I haven’t read the final book yet. But if it’s as good as the others, the whole series will be one of my favorite fantasy series ever.

The Parasol Protectorate series by Gail Carriger - Okay so this is steampunk, which probably falls more into science fiction, but holy shit I love this series so much. The writing style is like a more accessible Jane Austen’s and it’s hilarious (there’s a line in the second book that’s “Tea was a medicinal necessity at this juncture” and let me tell you, I quote that shit on a daily basis), and it’s a really interesting steampunk world with fantastic characters (including several queer characters). There are vampires and werewolves and Alexia, our main character, is curious in that she’s soulless—that is, she nullifies any supernatural creature’s powers as long as she’s touching them.

The first book would be classified as a steampunk paranormal romance, but the rest are more adventure/mystery. I’ve been slowly making my way through the YA prequel series (The Finishing School series; I’ve only got the last book left to read) and I have the first book of the sequel series sitting on my TBR shelf. Gail Carriger probably ties with Courtney Milan for my favorite author.

The Immortals quartet by Tamora Pierce - Tamora Pierce’s Tortall series (serieses?) was absolutely formative for me, but the two that stand out are The Immortals and The Song of the Lioness. Daine and Alanna are some of my favorite female fantasy characters ever, and they have fantastic stories and powers and lovely romances (some of which work out and some of which don’t). I can definitely see more of the seams in the series now that I’m older and I’ve reread them, but 15-year-old M does not care and 15-year-old M loved the shit out of these books. (Also let’s be real, the Immortals series is at least 50% responsible for my “I have no shame” with regards to age difference in OTPs. XD)

The Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson - The magic system in these books is absolutely fantastic, and I love how he uses it and ties it into not just the world and the fight scenes, but the actual plot. The first book is actually a fantasy heist, and I loved the concept that this is set a thousand years after the chosen one failed to save the world. All the characters were so great and the story went in directions I didn’t expect. Also, there was a romance! And it was a good romance! (I’m…fairly used to male authors falling down on romance, and tbh that’s a solid part of the reason both Mistborn and Discworld are on here.)

One caveat: the series has a satisfying ending, but it’s not a trope I normally read, write, or rec, and this is probably the only exception to that rule I’ve found thus far.

God knows I’m probably forgetting some books---I’ve read a lot in these two genres---but these are probably the ones that have stuck with me the longest.

#Anonymous #M answers #romance #fantasy #favorite books #favorite authors

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