#this turned into my rant about how much I hate what DC does with their side kicks

[loops-n-boops]

Seed Dump!!

after a little unexpected turn to a DC hyperfixation that lasted roughly two weeks I'm back to my farcry shit (the usual) so imma give y'all a three for one, John doodles, Seed playlists and hcs in one post,, take your juice

Jacob Seed:

listens to cheesy love songs and some rock and metal

Most think John swears the most but that's a lie, it's him. Whenever Joseph isn't around he'll throw a "fuck this" every now and then

likes adult coloring books and crossword puzzles

if Joseph asks a favor that doesn't involve strength he always goes "I volunteer Johnny"

He opens doors for John and goes "ladies first"

can and will tackle John to the ground and yell "say uncle". He does all the annoying older brother shit idc

Tends to fight with Joseph. They always fought back and forth. As kids it was about how Joseph wouldn't 'man up'. Now it's about how he treats John, not knowing Joseph's been manipulating him to stay this whole time too

So in the past I hc that he's gay, I feel he struggles to come to terms with that. To this day he still is under the impression that it's wrong and makes him look soft, so he still tries to act like he doesn't

Rants to the judges. He is waits until he knows he's alone with the alpha of the pack and just dumps everything he has in his mind. That dog knows things no one else knows

His friendship with Eli in the past was a good one. It reminded him too much of his friendship with Miller (minus the possible secret romance part). They had similar inside jokes, Eli playfully punched him the same way Miller did. He hated it. He still hates it

Jacob is much more of a listener than a talker but prefers surrounding himself with people who talk a lot

Joseph Seed

Joseph doesn't hate John. He's hard on John so he learns. Johns become their father in Joseph's eyes and is making sure to shape him up. However he doesn't realize how terrible he's being to him as he does so.

His biggest fear is being alone. To combat that he almost subconsciously manipulates people to stay with him. He doesn't want to hurt them, but if he doesn't they'll leave. He'll be alone again

As a child Joseph wanted to be an author. He had notebooks filled with vibrant stories he made up in his head. Once a teenager though he found an interest in baking. Him and his wife's date nights consisted of them playing music as they tried a random recipe they found. It was a piece of happiness he never had as a child. They wanted to save money and open a bakery together. Still, to this day, Joseph gathers ingredients on Friday nights and bakes.

Has a heavy preference for Jacob. The man was with him the longest, helped him the most. It isn't that he doesn't love John, but he's detached. John wasn't there as long as Jacob was. John was raised by different people.

He hates winter. Winter was when Faith taken from him. He won't enter any vehicle. He won't go outside much. He hates it.

Puts everyone before himself. He could have not eaten at all that day but he will still be sure to make sure everyone else has. He will forget to eat unless someone else tells him to

His favorite song is Little Lies by Fleetwood Mac and whenever he hears it he gets a boost of happiness. He knows every word.

I don't care what anyone says, I think he's shockingly the worst with kids. He can't handle the tantrums, they stress him out. He doesn't yell or hit but he completely shuts down and won't really react

Doesn't put his hair down often. He sleeps with it down but beyond that? It's always up. Usually in a bun, but sometimes he'll go ponytail.

When angry he tends to quietly glare. He tells from time to time yeah, but he more often will glare at whoever upset him. A look that basically says 'you know what you did'

Hes actually much more of an introvert than people may think. He doesn't like being alone but that doesn't make him an extrovert. His idea on a relaxing day is sitting in a room with his brothers where they all do their own thing but they don't speak much. Comfortable silence. The idea that they're there makes him happy, and the fact that they can indulge in their own hobbies without judgment makes him even happier

John Seed

Much more of a talker than a listener. This makes him and Jacob a good pairing since he would talk a lot and Jacob would smile and listen.

He despises fast food. He tried it once and declared it as the grossest thing to every touch his mouth. He's also definitely the pickiest eater in general. He hates most seafood, broccoli, brussel sprouts, fast food, pizza if it's too greasy, chicken if there's too much tendon, the flavor of mashed potatoes and steak together but he'll eat it on separate occasions. He was picky as a kid and he's still picky as an adult

Actually needs glasses but will not wear them. Luckily he has contacts. However one time he lost one and had to wear his glasses and his chosen were staring at him confused. He needed them since he was little but he never got the appointment when he was with his brothers. Jacob did notice him squinting a lot. Joseph only had glasses because he got his prescription years ago (but they should've been renewed)

He went to religious schools from second grade onward. I'm talking the ones with uniforms and all your teachers are nuns. There's so many pictures of little John with one of those school uniforms and dorky glasses and a big smile.

Speaking of which I believe he was the cutest kid out of all of them. He had big ol doe eyes and got excited over everything. Joseph and Jacob used to call him sunshine when he was young because no matter how miserable and dark the world was around him he always was a happy little boy. He was bright, loving, innocent. An absolute sweetheart in his youth. He was the kid that waved to strangers on the street, his go to form of affection was hugs, and he comforted his brothers when they were upset despite not understanding why they were even upset.

The Duncan's viewed Johns innocent nature as why he was a tainted soul. He didn't understand accountability and the idea that not everyone was good confused him. They had to teach him. Besides, the Duncan's weren't too good themselves.

His adoptive parents were Henry and Amelia Duncan. They adopted John due to Amelia's infertility. John was the youngest there and was promising so they chose him not knowing they were taking a broken boy and breaking him beyond recognition. Johns obvious mental illness also made them feel he needed to be shaped. They were the type of people that thought praying could solve everything. John barely saw doctors, he never got therapy, and when they found out their son was bisexual they threatened to send him away.

However, Henry's mother: Evelyn loved John for who he is was. Accepted her little grandson. Henry's family was large, the man having four brothers and a sister. John was the baby, all of his newly adopted cousins being older than him. Not a lot of them were good, John wasn't even that good, but Evelyn had a clear preference for John, always calling him her angel. (I have too many Duncan hcs I'll stop there)

Johns behavior first began to plumiit near his sophomore year of high-school. He got a stick and poke tattoo when he was too young to have one from a friend. It did get infected but that was fine for him. It was a taste of freedom. A taste of freedom he never had in the past. He wanted a taste of the freedom of adulthood and was willing to rush his adolescence to get that. By the time he was a senior the little angel people knew and loved died, and in his place was a cold hearted snake that lacked any form of remorse for what he did. All he cared for was his own amusement.

As a boy he drew a lot, he quickly discovered art was something he enjoyed. He drew pictures of him and his brothers, but when he lived in Atlanta their faces started to become blurry. Were Joseph's eyes blue or were they green? Who was taller, Joseph or Jacob? What didn't help was the Duncan's wanted every aspect of Johns life before them to not exist. They tried convincing him that they weren't his family and that they hated him. They made him go into speech therapy to force his rural accent to go away. They didn't adopt a son, they adopted a pet.

I'll do a little softer one for the end: Johns secretly a bit of a hopeless romantic. He's always been fond of the idea of romance. He loves cheesy rom-coms, he reads romance books. All of it. Hes well aware that a romantic relationship is something he'll never have, but it doesn't hurt to wish for one. He falls too quickly, but then gets scared when he has to be vulnerable. He has issues, he's not a good person. His issues will scare everyone away. He has no chance. A part of him envies his brothers: Joseph for having a marriage and Jacob for clearly not being interested in romance at all. But some nights, he doesn't care. He'll grab a DVD player and watch his silly little romantic comedy movies (or say yes to the dress if he's feeling something dramatic) and will eat half a bag of gummy bears

#far cry 5 #fanart #john seed #joseph seed #jacob seed #headcanons #sketches #fc5 #doodle

[venus-of-the-hrdsell]

It's Hellblazer anon again and I finished it! What an amazing read! There's a thousand positive things I could say about it but instead I'm going to rant at you about those last 50 issues. You once mentioned that Azzerello was your villain origin story....well Milligan is mine. I have never read such dogshit writing in my entire life. The fact that it was Hellblazer's last issues really bloody rubs me the wrong way as well. It was character assassination on a world wide level, no survivors, everyone was annihilated. MY GOD WHAT WAS PETER MILLIGAN THINKING?? John was sooo pathetic and old and obsessed with having a wife?! All he does in those last issues is be obsessed with boring women? Like sweetie don't you have better things to do?? Phoebe was so bland, Epiphany was genuinely the absolute worst and Milligan tried sooo hard to sell us on this weird marriage? He even went as far as to bring back Kit and get John to tell her that he loves this random chick way more than he loved Kit 😭 like wtf, Kit was so important to John, their relationship was so special and Milligan just had to shit all over it just to prove a point? Making Angie a punchline to fat jokes was disgusting and so unnecessary. Holy shit poor bloody Gemma? Everything around what happened with her was so revolting and she deserved so much better. Milligan just couldn't write good John angst so he had to absolutely destroy Gemma's character and I hate him so much for it. Not even Chas could escape the onslaught! John literally left Chas to die, the only reason he saved him is because his passport got rejected, like I'm sorry but John would not let his best mate die?! Also....where did the horror go?? It just turned into the John and Epiphany show where all they did was have sex and talk about how shit everyone else was. Speaking of, words can not describe how much I hate Epiphany. Two dimensional, written way too edgy, and her being that young just felt like Milligan was trying to act out a fantasy. I just.....hated this run with my entire being. So boring, so badly written, lacking substance and I was glad that it ended. Also I have no idea wtf that ending was but I hate Milligan for having that privilege and absolutely fucking it up. He also gets the medal for writing the absolute worst love interests. Sorry that got so long but I had to tell someone! I'm honestly just pretending that none of that was canon. Gemma forgave her uncle and became a doctor, Kit and Angie lived happily ever after, Chas got a cool new car and John got to have a pint. There, fixed it.

(I'm so sorry for answering this so late) but anon I hear you and I FEEL YOU because I was sleepless the night I finished Hellblazer because of HOW BAD those last 50 issues were. It's infuriating that this trash trainwreck had more issues than the good writers Hellblazer had??? Like???

It's genuinely one of the few runs in comics that aren't salvageable for me because it both destroys John as a character, destroys the Hellblazer lore and it's side characters and sends continuity to hell (there's so many errors I can easily list here). It's also incredibly misoginistic by vertigo standards because everyone woman on it either gets disrespected, shamed abused or FRIDGED. And the fact that DC saw the shitty work this writer did on John and was like "this is the PERFECT candidate to write a Constantine lead team Justice League Dark:) "

So my best advice is to do as I do (and Spurrier) and pretend that run doesn't exist. For me, Diggle's run is the perfect conclusion for Hellblazer (this, or the route Lemire took with John on Swamp Thong: Green Hell).

#anon #answered

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

11, 19, 39, 43, 44, 50

11. What’s the worst art you’ve seen?

You would think it would be Greg Land porn face, but nah, it's this:

From an Inhumans story about a corrupt Genetics Council member coming after Ahura, after Black Bolt and Medusa left him to be raised by a human couple. I can deal with comics having a very stylized or cartoony art style, but this is just.....bad. Really, really bad.

But I gotta love Maximus popping up out of his cell as soon as he hears the word "mad," like Tony Wonder waiting to make an entrance. "Did someone say 'Wonder'?"

Special runner up - any random Greg Land, really:

Why does this teenage girl being beaten look like she's screaming in ecstasy? Fucking Land.

Why is this apparently grown adult woman who seems to be a scientist (judging by the lab coat) making this expression? Fucking Land, who cannot draw a realistic expression on a woman to save his life, and obviously traced this from a model emoting "shocked" or "offended." Seriously, she doesn't even look like she's supposed to be a sexy super-heroine, but Land just had to give her That Face.

19. Rant about a change they made to a character of your choice.

You'd think I would talk about Pyro here, but I have to take a moment to rant about my DC boy, James Jesse, the original Trickster (a Flash Rogue). James was always kind of a wacky villain - an inventor and conman who commits crimes in the silliest way possible, but wasn't a full on edgy murderer like the Joker. He was definitely an asshole for sure, but probably one of the less murderous Rogues, and even took a stab at reforming for awhile (although he wasn't super-sincere about it). James then got replaced by a new Trickster named Axel, and then turned into a homophobe because someone wanted to do a Defiant Ones story with James on the run with and handcuffed to gay Rogue Hartley Rathaway/Pied Piper (even though Hartley and James were previously portrayed as friends with no issues), and then killed off.

Then after DC rebooted continuity a couple of times, James was still MIA, and Axel was treated as the only Trickster, even though most of the other original Rogues were back. Then Josh Williamson finally brought James back for a story arc that revealed that he'd been stuck in prison and basically tortured for years, and then escaped and went underground and was coming back for revenge. Williamson wrote a darker James, who still isn't technically a murderer, but did shove his parents off a building (Flash saved them). I'll admit the darkness made some sense, JJ was stuck in prison and it warped him, but the story seems to have virtually no sympathy for this wacky bankrobber getting tortured for years. Flash himself, who was very concerned about baby Trickster Axel getting mistreated in prison, doesn't appear to give a shit that James endured this for YEARS. Williamson also retconned James' past to say that he stole some of the ideas to make his anti-gravity shoes by seducing a lab tech, and this pisses me off SO MUCH. James' original origin story has him reading science magazines and figuring out how to make his gadgets on his own, which is one of the things that distinguishes him from Axel (who stole James' gear). It's not realistic, but nothing about the Flash Rogues are realistic. JJ is, in his own words, a Soo-per Genyius, and I hate any writer trying to take even part of that away from him.

Williamson also added this whole characterization of James routinely seducing and using women as part of his scams, even though that was NEVER part of his character before. He was a conman for sure, but he didn't specifically target women to steal money or tech, that was a new thing. Williamson wrote a darker Rogues AU future story that basically involves a group of them going out for "one last score" (with violent, gory results), and writes James in that story as one of the worst, just an absolute uncaring asshole with no apparent empathy or morals. This is the same character who, back in the 90's, ran across the world to help his ex-girlfriend, and then bartered with a demon to save the souls of his fellow Rogues. Anyway, fuck you very much, Williamson, never write James Jesse again, just keep your hands off him.

39. Which character do you get the most defensive of?

Once again, I'm gonna have to say James Jesse, the original Trickster, because comics have been so shitty for him for like 20 years. But also because the Flash TV show has popularized a version of James who actually is a remorseless murderer, and that's the version that keeps showing up in fandom. Most of the Rogues got an interesting reinvention on the show (for better or for worse), but James wound up being based entirely on a version of the character from the long-forgotten Flash 90's live-action show, who was basically Flash's equivalent of the Joker and played by Mark Hamill. And I have great respect for Mark Hamill, he's fantastic and he plays the TV version of the character well, but he's very different from comics James, and is much more murderous and unstable. And because the Flash CW show got Mark Hamill back, instead of a comics accurate Trickster, we got old man murderer Trickster (even though he's also one of the younger original Rogues). So I'm stuck wading through Flash fanfic, even fic that claims to be drawing from the comics, with the unstable killer version of Trickster, because that's the popular TV version.

(I will say, Mark Hamill also voiced a version of the Trickster on Justice League: Unlimited who seems like a more child-friendly version of TV Trickster, but I love him because he's not a killer and actually seems kind of sweet.)

I think when it comes to James Jesse, I'm a bit like you with Sebastian, I'm pointing at comics from decades ago, going, "No, no, he's not like that! He's like THIS! It's not his fault writers have been mangling his character for years!"

Your blog has actually made me much more defensive of Shaw as well, not as a "good guy," but as a "at least let him be a competent villain," argument.

43. What character do you resent the most?

Ohhhhh boy, there's a lot to say here.

My first answer would be some of the attention-grabbing characters that writers fawn over and who tend be heavily featured in damn near every X-Book. Right now it's Wolverine and Emma. Wolverine I don't really like much at any time, Emma I usually do like, but Duggan has been so far up her ass lately, I can't appreciate her in books anymore. I admit, I absolutely loved her beating down Sinister in Immoral X-Men, because finally, an Emma moment where I'm completely on her side, and where she's beating down someone I hate more. Also Gillen seems to have a more balanced take on Emma and isn't trying to rewrite her whole history.

But also, one of my fandom bad habits is that I get very resentful of any character who I think is replacing my favorite, or "stealing" a storyline that I wanted for my fave. So also, Simon Lasker (Pyro II) and to some extent Axel Walker (Trickster II).

Neither of them are bad characters. But Simon was basically a bland imitation Pyro who, from my perspective, stole the "gay Pyro" storyline out from under St. John, who was originally queer-coded and died of the AIDS metaphor virus, and has been in the comics closet for decades. And now that we are finally in a time when more comics characters can come out, and St. John is alive again, he's getting written as fantasizing about Jean Grey, presumably because "we already have a gay Pyro." Fuck that, St. John was here first. As far as I can tell, Simon was created to fulfill the Allerdrake ship from the movies, except he's not even the right Pyro for that, it's ALLERdrake, not LaskerDrake. I'd be more forgiving if Simon had a more interesting personality or if he looked significantly different from St. John, but instead he's like the equivalent of We Have Pyro at Home.

Axel Walker actually does have his own distinct personality and look as Trickster II, and I like him for that, but ever since his introduction, James has been killed off, and then dropped out of continuity, and then brought back darker and edgier so that Axel can be the sweet baby Trickster (even though back when Axel was first introduced, HE was the edgier Trickster, and James was trying to reform). It especially bothers me that all the other original versions of the Rogues got to come back in DC's rebooted continuity, but Axel was still treated as THE Trickster while James was largely forgotten. And lately artists and writers have been completely blurring the lines between the two characters, both in design and personality. Sometimes you literally cannot tell which Trickster is appearing in a book, because it's a character that looks and acts exactly like James, but is somehow named Axel.

Honestly, I try not to completely hate either character for this, it's not their fault. Axel especially is a good character when the writers actually let him be distinct from JJ. I could appreciate stories where the two Tricksters work together and annoy the shit out of each other, where James is all old school Looney Tunes and Three Stooges, and Axel is all Tik Tok and memes. That would be great. I'd enjoy a story with St. John mentoring Simon as a younger Pyro, and Simon maybe choosing a different name because Mesmero forced the Pyro identity on him, and both of them bonding over banging Iceman. I don't want to be mean to fans of these characters. But it's hard to like them while their presence in comics seems to negatively affect my faves.

Also, as long as I'm full of salt here - I have a limited patience for a lot of mascot and "joke" characters, especially when those characters become popular, but don't seem to have any real substance to them. Baby Yoda? Cute, but whatever, it's a baby. Soft Serve? I get it, she poops ice cream. She's a funny background joke, but I don't ever want to see a Soft Serve mini-series. I love Lockjaw and he is a Very Good Boy, but I would have rather seen any other member of the Inhuman Royal family get a mini-series. Doop? I don't give a single fuck about Doop, he's just a flying green blob whose joke wore thin ages ago.

44. Any characters you used to like but grew to dislike?

Deadpool. I read his series back in the 90's and genuinely liked him, but he got so big and over-played that I've completely burned out on the character now.

Also, Deadpool is a good example of how fandom (especially Tumblr fandom) can be very selective of which characters they deem "problematic." People are having yelling arguments across the Internet about Tony Stark or Hank Pym, or Cyclops, but somehow you can post about Deadpool without someone going, "Um, friendly reminder that originally Blind Al was actually Deadpool's prisoner, and when Weasel got too close to her, he threw both of them in a literal torture chamber!" Not that I want Deadpool to get dragged down by all the discourse, people should be able to freely enjoy him. But like, the dude kills people. He very gleefully kills people, and somehow doesn't get the kind of fandom controversy I've seen for other characters (at least in my corner of fandom, maybe it's going on elsewhere that I haven't seen.)

50. What’s something that bled into comics from a tv show or movie that you hate?

Hmmmmmm..........I think I'll say the Maximoff twins being declared Not Mutants and no longer Magneto's bio kids because the MCU wanted them in the movies. We all know that was about movie rights shenanigans, and not for any legitimate story reasons. It's just nonsense, and I'm patiently waiting for the retcon.

#damn this was so long #if anyone actually reads this I'll be impressed #I just blab on and on

[pokckygamewithbatman]

A Small Batman Rant

One of the many things I don’t get as far as the hatred of DC goes is why people think Bruce Wayne is just a spoiled rich brat who dresses as a bat. He is, but that’s not all he is. A big problem is that people think he doesn’t do anything to help Gotham heal and become better with his riches but instead hides in the shadows. This isn’t true in the slightest though?? Bruce Wayne does a shit ton of work to improve Gotham and holds many charities and donates a shit ton of money to help the people of Gotham. A big part of how a city turns out is the people themselves. No matter how much money is thrown at a society it can’t be fixed unless the people also work towards a better future. I think he helps a fuck ton and is pretty badass. I’m biased because he is my favourite but y’know, he’s pretty cool. He has problems but always does what is in the best interest of his city and always tries to find solutions that minimize victims and damage.

It’s also annoying when people speak ill of Arkham, saying that Batman isn’t actually doing anything, that Arkham doesn’t help and that more should be done to rehabilitate Gotham villains, when, like in literally every other superhero comic ever created, those villains are created to fight the superhero. The aftermath, although it is explored in Batman’s story more than others, is still largely unimportant. There’s a villain to defeat, Batman defeats said villain, and if it’s a well liked villain like Joker writers want to be able to bring him back, so he is quite literally held in place until the story demands his return for more wacky shenanigans. But yea Bats gets more hate for this than most other heroes and I don’t really get why? But I digress.

Most if not all my rants will sound like this; an amalgamation of words rambling on and on until I randomly decide to stop. No real point is made, I just like to talk and everyone is sick of hearing me talk about DC irl so here we are lmao

[stackthedeck]

if you could make a coming of age superhero movie with any character who would you choose?

Hmmm this is a good question. So obviously, I'm a Spider-Man stan first and a human being second so I'm tempted to say spider-man, but Peter got three pretty good coming of age movies from the MCU, and Miles got the BEST coming of age movie, so hey sony maybe give spider-gwen a spin-off so I feel like we're good on spider-man movies

There have been rumors of Young Avengers, especially with Wanda and her kids and America Chavez in multiverse of madness. So maybe that's already in the works? I'd fucking kill for a heartstoppers style high school drama for the young avengers, but it'd be best as a show, not a movie.

okay but I'm also a huge fan of Johnny Storm and I would love to see a good fantastic four movie and there's a lot of untapped character drama with him being the youngest, the most in the public eye, the most impulsive, the most unstable relationships. Like I would love a Johnny Storm struggling with compulsive heterosexuality while dealing with superhero and high school bullshit. But also Johnny really isn't a teenage hero anymore, his character has progressed a lot in the comics so I feel like fans of the f4 wouldn't enjoy that type of thing and also the fantastic four is a dying franchise, and frankly making a movie for them would be a box office failure

But okay my real answer is a want a super sons movie (yes I love DC and Marvel comics, I contain multitudes) and I want it in the style of an early 2000s high school movie. Imagine that opening shot of Cheaper by the Dozen but it's Wayne manor. Imagine Lois Lane sitting calmly drinking her morning coffee while her son and her husband fly around the kitchen desperately getting ready for the first day of school and she's just completely unphased. Give me Damien Wayne being the annoying youngest sibling that's secretly insecure and feels unseen by his family. Give me Jon Kent being worried about all he has to become, seeing his perfect father and less than perfect half-brother. Give me a Damien Wayne that's in a long line of Robins and despite the fact that he is so smart and skilled, he feels weak and insignificant, let that Damien bond with the Superboy that feels crushed by the weight of his own significance. Let them be dorky kids that do more than superhero stuff, let family drama be present but bleed into the background when they hang out, let them be best friends!! AND LET THEM GROW UP TOGETHER (I hate how DC has so many legacy characters, but then ages them weird, and then never lets them actually step into the lead role. Like let's talk about how Damien's childhood best friend is just an adult now and he's still a kid like no one is talking about this insane potential for character drama like that's such an interesting situation) Let Damien take on the Batman role or whatever grown-up version of Robin he'll become at the same time Joh becomes Superman! I love coming of age movies that start young, not just in high school, I want to see these characters grow!! Damien is stuck in permanent childhood it seems and Jon just skipped his teen years like come on these two are so fun to put in parallel to each other and I love their friendship so much

#lmao one day I will answer an ask with something that is not an essay #this turned into my rant about how much I hate what DC does with their side kicks #dc get at me let Jon kent have a childhood you monsters #asks

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

Honest and Truly

Summary: Spencer has his prom 10 years late, but none of that matters when it's with the girl of his dreams.

Word Count: 4.8 k

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female (She/Her)-- Fluff

CW: Minimal vulgar language (PG-13)

Author's Note: This just might be my most favorite thing I've written in a very long time :) Also listen to the song I linked, it makes the title and the ending make more sense! thank you to @spookydrreid and @writhingintheroses for helping me a particular scene!!

Add yourself to my taglist! It makes it much easier for me :)

Honest and Truly

“A prom?” Spencer asks, realizing that the conversation had entered uncharted territory, a territory in which he had not a single clue how to navigate. Spencer, being a preteen in high school, never attended prom.

“Yes, Reid. A prom,” Penelope says, staring at him over the many monitors and stuffed cats that littered her desk, “It’s going to be so much fun!” she says, excitedly.

“That sounds like, uh, I’ll have plans that night,” Spencer tells Penelope, spinning around in the swivel chair as he eats his turkey and cheese sandwich. He usually enjoys their lunches together, but when Penelope gets an idea in her head, there’s no stopping her.

@s“Now I don’t believe that for a second, Reid. The only time that you have plans is when you’re with Y/N. And Y/N is going to be at this prom,” Garcia says, her pink glasses sliding down her nose. She winks at Reid, almost like she enjoys watching him squirm.

“How do you know that she’s going? Did she say she’s going?” Spencer asks, unable to conceal his eagerness that Y/N could be attending. Spencer might hate dancing and those fancy shoes that are too tight on his toes, but all that can be talked away if Y/N is there.

“Yes, she’s going because you’re asking her. That and I’m making everyone go,” Penelope says matter of factly.

Spencer opens his mouth, attempting to talk away Penelope’s suggestion. But Spencer Reid is a smart man and he knows better than trying to argue his way out with Penelope. Especially when it comes to Y/N. He might have an excellent poker face, but Spencer can’t hide his love for Y/N.

“I’m not going to ask her. You know she’ll think it’s because-” Spencer says, prepping for a long winded rant before the door of Penelope’s office swings open.

Y/N, with two coffees in hand, floats into the room like she’s walking on air. Or maybe it’s Spencer’s mind that’s floating when Y/N walks in. He can never tell. Whenever he’s near her, it’s like everything is sweeter, lighter and airier. Wordlessly, she passes the coffee to Spencer. Feeling her fingertips graze his reminds him of how pathetic he must be. He nods, telling her thanks, knowing that he’s unable to fully articulate just how grateful he is for the littlest things.

“Who are you not going to ask and to where, Spence?” Y/N says, leaning against the filing cabinets and sipping her coffee. Penelope, never one to be quiet, silently watches as Spencer and Y/N converse. Spencer looks up at her, feeling that light and airy feeling again. He brushes his hair that falls against his forehead nervously thinking of an answer.

“I- uh, I was thinking of asking my mother to come stay with me for a couple of weeks. You know, she hasn’t seen DC in a couple of years. And I do have some personal days banked,” Spencer says, telling Y/N a small white lie.

“She’s in Vegas, right?” Y/N asks, interested in what Spencer is saying, which is something that he’s still not used to. Spencer nods, smiling awkwardly.

“Yeah, she says that she likes the heat,” Spencer says, hating how formal and cold the conversation sounds. It’s normally flowing with easy and familiarity, but something is wedged between them. Penelope, long forgotten by the pair, types rapidly on her keyboard.

“You know, Spence. If you’re up for it maybe we can have lunch or meet at Elmwood Park. I’d love to meet the woman that made my favorite person,” she says, staring directly into Spencer’s eyes. Her stare is so intense that it’s like she’s looking into his soul. He thinks that if she looks deep enough she’ll see her own reflection because his soul belongs to her.

“I-I uh,” Spencer says, immediately thinking that he should actually invite his mother out for a visit, “I think that’s a good idea. She likes the sites and all,” he tells her nervously, trying to ease his beating heart.

He’s her favorite person.

Out of all the people in this city, this world. He’s her favorite person. Spencer, a lover of math, is tempted to figure out the odds of being his favorite person’s favorite person. He knows it’s slim. He knows it’s rare. It’s something magical and Spencer is terrified he’s going to ruin it. He’s terrified he’s going to fuck something up that’s not even his.

“It’s a date,” Y/N says, turning to Penelope, who’s still long forgotten, “Oh, Penny, you need to yell at Morgan for me. He ate my leftovers,” she tells Penelope, who feigns horror, “And now I don’t have lunch”

“How dare he!” Penelope says, her exaggerated response inciting chuckles, “he can get away with murder because he’s pretty,” she says, shaking her head.

He knows that she’s pretending to be disappointed, but he still doesn’t like to see it. Spencer unwraps the other half of his turkey and cheese sandwich and hands it to Y/N. She looks surprised, as if Spencer just handed her a million bucks.

“Spence, you don’t have to,” Y/N says, softly, handing back the half of the sandwich, “It’s your sandwich, I don’t want you to feel-”

“Eat it, Y/N,” Spencer says firmly, looking straight at Y/N, “You need to eat something. We both live off coffee as it is,” he says, hoping that Y/N will take the sandwich.

He’s looking straight at her and she’s looking straight at him. Spencer wonders if he looks deep enough he’ll reach her soul. He dares to think that if he can find her soul, he’ll stare at his face. He’s her favorite person after all, that’s got to count for something.

“Thanks, Spence,” Y/N says, smiling softly, “You make the best sandwiches,” she tells him, taking a bite of the sandwich as Garcia’s eyes flit from Spencer to Y/N. Back and forth, she watches the pair engage in the world’s best miscommunication.

“Y/N, did you hear? I’m throwing a prom!” Garcia says excitedly, hoping that Y/N’s reaction will be more enthusiastic than Spencer’s.

“A prom?” Y/N asks, unconvincingly, “God, I hated my prom. I got punched spilled all over my dress and my date tried to sneak alcohol into the banquet hall. It was a shitshow,” Y/N says, remembering the less than happy memories from high school.

“I didn’t go to prom. You know, between being a 12 year old and a dork,” Spencer says, self deprecatingly, “It’s not the ideal scenario, but I am familiar with the cultural significance of proms in American high school,” Spencer says, speaking to no one in particular, yet looking at Y/N directly.

“Maybe we’ll both get the prom night we deserve, Spence,” Y/N offers, tossing out her wax paper wrapper. She walks past him and it’s like the air is sweeter. He believes in science, but loves magic. Y/N is magic.

“Maybe,” Spencer says, refusing to make eye contact with Penelope, “you know, sorry to uh, cut this short. I have some paperwork to finish. Hotch’s been on me all day about it. So, uh, see you later,” he says, walking out of Penelope's office like a bat out of hell.

He tries to ignore the knowing stares from Penelope and Y/N’s confusion as he ducks out and walks into the bullpen. Spencer doesn’t have paperwork. He finished all his paperwork by 11:12 am. But what Spencer does have is a flight from Vegas to Quantico to book.

And prom shopping.

___

As it turns out, Spencer doesn’t know much about teenage American culture. Sure he’s seen 90s movies that Y/N forced him to watch. But it was quite difficult to pay attention when all he could feel was Y/N’s fingers brushing up against his in their shared bucket of popcorn or her head laying against his shoulder when she got tired.

He doesn’t know much of anything when it comes to romance. But he knows that he loves Y/N— and hopefully that’s enough. He still hasn’t asked her if she’d go with him. Honestly, he’s not too sure why he even has to ask her in the first place. She’s going to be there already, but Garcia and Morgan convinced him that it’s part of the so-called “Prom Experience”

“Spence,” Y/N says, she’s perched on the tall bar stool and rests her elbows on her kitchen island, “did you find a suit yet? I was thinking that we can go to that vintage store on Rock Ave. They have a surprisingly good size selection, and I think that this whole vintage thing fits your aesthetic really well,”

“My aesthetic?” Spencer questions, again lost at sea.

“You know, you’re like nerdy chic. Equal parts dorky and equal parts handsome,” she tells him. He feels his cheeks burn at her words.

Handsome

“I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not,” Spencer says, eyeing Y/N over the rim of his hot coffee.

“It is,” Y/N says like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Like him being handsome is just as obvious as him being dorky, “And get your wallet. We’re going to the vintage store,”

Spencer has a hate-love relationship with weekends. He loves spending time with Y/N where it was so easy to pretend that she loves him as he loves her. He hates the weekends for the same reason he loves them. Spencer knows that it’s all fake. It’s a façade of the truth.

“Spence! You’d look great in this,” Y/N suggests, holding up a gray sports coat, “I think it will match your eyes perfectly,”

“If you think so, Y/N,” Spencer says, nodding his head in agreement. She continues eyeing him as if she’s imagining what he’d look like in the jacket. He has to admit, it’s a very nice jacket.

“Come on, Spence. There’s a mirror over in the corner. Try it on for me,” she requests and not even a second later Spencer finds himself being dragged by the hand to try on the suit jacket.

Y/N holds the jacket open for him as he slips it on through his arms. He’s surprised to realize that it fits perfectly. He looks into the mirror, staring at his face and Y/N, who tugs and smooths the jacket. Spencer can’t look too much longer because if he does the lines between reality and fantasy will be difficult to distinguish. As much as he wants to stare into the mirror all day long, pretending that this is real, he much rather it actually be real. But wishing and dreaming only ends up with battle wounds and broken hearts.

“You look very handsome, Spencer. Very handsome,” Y/N says, staring into the mirror too now. But she’s not looking at the jacket, she’s looking at him. The beat of silence lasts longer than what’s comfortable, “Um, I think, I saw some pants that would look good on you, with this jacket, I mean,” she says, stumbling over her words. She’s not looking in the mirror any more, her gaze is noticeably away from Spencer and the mirror.

“Okay, uh, whatever you think, Y/N,” Spencer says, “I’m not even sure why I agreed to this thing. I don’t dance,” he says, regretting his choice to go to Penelope’s prom, but feeling guilty for maybe disappointing Y/N all in one breath.

“Did you ask her yet?” Y/N asks, holding up a pair of similarly gray colored pants. She must notice his confusion, “You know Austin, the woman you heroically saved. Does any of it ring a bell, Spence?” Y/N teases. Spencer feels his cheeks burn and his heart tighten, that happens a lot around Y/N.

“Oh Austin, uh no. She wasn’t interested in me, after all,” Spencer says, shifting his weight and staring at his converse, “I mean, I should have seen it coming. It’s transference, that’s like Psych 101,” he says, feeling strange. It was odd when Austin broke up with him, even if you can consider it breaking up. He felt a strange sense of relief when it happened, like a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

Y/N clicks her tongue in annoyance as she walks over to Spencer. Tugging slightly on the sleeves of the jacket she says, “well she’s not as smart as I thought she was. You have to be a complete fool to let someone like you go,” she says quietly. She’s standing too close, looking too beautiful, and seeming too perfect for Spencer to not be completely enamoured.

Then it breaks, like shattered glass. The rosey glasses are lifted, leaving only cheeks that sting with nervousness and hearts the yearn for something a little more tangible.

“Stop staring at me and go try it on,” Y/N says, handing him the pair of pants, “Oh and I’m going to look for a vest and a tie to match. This store is unbelievable,” she tells him, pushing him into the makeshift dressing room.

Spencer puts on the pants, which fit, despite being maybe an inch or two loose in the waist. He looks into the tall mirror, which is noticeably empty without Y/N standing with him. A floating hand, belonging to Y/N appears. She holds a burgundy tie and a dark brown vest, both of which are very Spencer. He smiles slightly, strangely happy that Y/N has picked something out that’s perfect for him.

“Tell me when you’re decent,” she says, her voice muffled by the curtain that separates them. He sticks his head out of the curtain, his eyes immediately finding Y/N’s.

“Ohh, Spence, you look amazing. Very handsome,” she says, her hands clasped around the tie, tugging just like she did with his suit jacket before, “What do you think?” she asks, looking at him curiously.

“It’s nice,” Spencer offers, approaching this like he does everything: cautiously, “I do like the texture,” he says, running his hands up and down the sleeves of the jacket.

“You look more than nice, Spence. I know I’ve said it like 30 times, but you look very handsome,” she says. Spencer hopes that she means it. He needs something to be real. Sometimes besides what he feels, because what he feels is the realest thing in the world.

“It’s nice to hear,” Spencer says, “you know from someone who’s not my mother,” he jokes, shrugging off the jacket and grabbing the hanger from Y/N.

“You deserve to hear it,” Y/N says so softly Spencer wonders if she’s saying it all. That beat of silence, followed by the awkwardness is back.

“So, uh, I saw a dress that I’m going to try on,” Y/N tells him, her gaze shifting everywhere but Spencer’s eyes.

“I’ll go pay for this,” Spencer says, walking back into the dressing room and the mirror that lies to his face.

___

Back in Y/N’s car, Spencer shifts in the passenger seat trying to find a way to sit comfortably while holding his suit jacket, pants and vest. Y/N hangs up her dress, that’s wrapped in a gown bag. She wouldn’t let Spencer see the dress, despite her practically picking out his entire outfit.

“So what’s next,” Spencer asks, as Y/N gets into the car. She smiles over at him sheepishly, leading Spencer to think she’s got another trick up her sleeve.

“I’ve got a confession, Spence. And please don’t hate me for it,” Y/N says, her voice coming out a little nervous as she eyes Spencer.

“I don’t think I could ever hate you, even if I tried. And I’m certain I’ll never have to,” he says softly, resting his hand over hers on the console. He rubs the back of her hand gently, thinking about just how easy things are with her. If he could only be a little braver, maybe then the mirror wouldn’t be so empty.

“Okay. I knew that things didn’t work out with you and Austin. I overheard you telling Derek,” Y/N confesses, “And I know that it makes me a horrible friend or whatever, but I’m sorry that I eavesdropped,”

“Oh, uh how much did you hear?” Spencer asks, suddenly quite nervous. He can feel his heart drop, waiting for the moment when Y/N laughs at the thought of her loving him. He knows that it’s not fair to her, but then again all is fair is love and war.

“Enough to know that you’re still hung up or or someone else. I left once my conscience got the better of me. Once a Girl Scout, always a Girl Scout,” she says, making the three finger salute that’s common in scouting, “I just wanted to hear it from you, you know you’re my favorite person and all,” she says, a frown forming.

“I think, uh,” Spencer says, “That I was just a little embarrassed. You know how Derek and Penelope and Emily and JJ can get. It’s basically just you and Hotch who aren’t jumping down my throat about being, you know, alone,” he says, chuckling awkwardly.

“They just want to help you, Spence. In their own ways, but I’m always on Team Spencer. You never got to worry about that,” Y/N offers, squeezing his hand.

He considers what she says, not responding verbally, but nodding his head. He hasn’t ever had someone on his “team”, so it’s strange. But a good kind of strange.

“Spence, you okay? I wanted to give you something. To be truthful, I’ve been thinking about how I was going to do this for awhile,”

“Ask me what?” he questions, wondering what she has in store. He watches as Y/N rummages in his bag, clearly looking for something. He’s thoroughly confused when she pulls out a TI-84.

“What on earth?” Spencer says, as she places the calculator in his hands. Her sly grin, beaming up at him only further proves his point: his heart just beats faster around her.

“Just shut and press the on button. You’d think that a genius would know how to work a calculator,” she comments, rolling her eyes playfully.

“You know, I never used these. I can just do it in my head faster,” Spencer says, winking at Y/N when she pushes him teasingly.

“God, Spencer just turn it on!” she demands, very apparently getting more and more impatient.

He turns the calculator on and is brought to a green screen that has a picture of a graph. Spencer raises his eyebrow, as if to ask Y/N for the next direction.

“Press the graph button,” she says, getting quieter as Spencer looks at her.

He presses the button that she said to, waiting for whatever is supposed to happen. Spencer watches as the screen draws four black lines running parallel to each other. A curved line is drawn on the first two black lines, forming the letters “P” and “R”. The screen continues to draw, making an oval that looks like an “O” and the last two parallel lines are joined together with a “v” shape, forming the letter “M”. He takes a second glance, reading the 4 letter word slowly.

P-R-O-M

“Well?” she asks, waiting for his answer.

He’s speechless. Spencer blinks. It’s like his brain has stopped working. It’s a prom, a stupid prom that’s 10 years too late. But it’s the girl of dreams that’s asking him. And that’s the stuff those rom-coms he couldn’t pay attention to are made of.

“I mean, of course. Of course, Y/N,” Spencer says, dropping the calculator into the cup holder and leaning in to hug Y/N.

His heart stops again. Falling into that tricky habit of either speeding up or stopping when she’s around. He thinks he’s ready to implode when she pecks his cheek. Her lips don’t linger, hardly touching his skin for it to be considered a kiss.

“I don’t think I’d want to go with anyone else,” she says, mumbling into his skin. She seals his fate with her lips against his skin. Never again will Spencer imagine what it’s like to have her lips against his skin. Even though it’s a fraction of the time he’d want, it’s tattooed in his mind.

“I’m not much of a dancer, by the way,” Spencer says, reluctantly letting go and sitting back into the passenger’s seat, “so don’t expect too much,” he jokes.

“Oh you better watch it, Doctor Reid. I’m getting you on the dance floor, even if you hate it,” Y/N says, smiling as she backs out of the parking spot and turns into the street.

Spencer looks out the window, thinking to himself that there’s probably nothing he can hate if he’s doing it with Y/N.

--

Spencer didn’t go to prom in high school. He didn’t do a lot of the traditional things that most former high schoolers reminisce about at his age. He didn’t go to football games or have a best friend to make lifelong memories with.

He didn’t have any of that, until now.

But it’s prom night, 10 years late. His hands are sweaty and his mouth feels dry. Spencer wasn’t this nervous for even his first day at the BAU all those years ago. He tries to fix the burgundy tie that Y/N picked out at the vintage store. It looks crooked and twisted. Nothing like when Y/N tied perfectly in the store for him. He supposes that he can wait till she comes to pick him up.

The mirror, again, is noticeably empty without Y/N standing beside him. He can get lost in there, thinking about her standing with him. He does, because it feels like seconds later when he hears a rapid knocking on his apartment door.

Standing on the other side of the door is Y/N. She wears a sage green dress that looks like it’s made of softest silk. He smiles at her, not sure if he can trust his words. Spencer doesn’t think he’ll be able to do much thinking when all he can focus on is the tiny straps that rest on her shoulders or how the sage green compliments her skin tone.

“You look, god. You’re beautiful,” Spencer says, partly under his breath partly aloud to Y/N, “so beautiful,” he says again, focusing on her eyes.

“And you’re looking very dashing in that suit, Spence,” she says, pushing her way in, “do you need help with your tie?” she asks, looking at the tie he holds in his hand.

“Yes, please,” he says sheepishly. He holds out the burgundy colored tie, but takes his hand back as an idea crosses his mind, “oh wait here, I’ll be right back,” Spencer says, walking quickly to his bedroom.

“Alright,” Y/N says sceptically, “Don’t ditch me, Reid!” she calls out from the living room.

Spencer returns, hiding the new tie behind his back. He places an olive green tie with dusty blue and pink flowers in her hands. He notices her smile grow, realizing that he’s picking a new tie for a reason.

“I might not know much about prom, but I think that we’re supposed to match. You know, since we’re going together,” he offers, “but I need help putting it on,” he says.

“We’re going to match!” Y/N says excitedly. As she unbuttons the first button on Spencer’s cream colored shirt he holds his breath. He can’t breathe when she’s this close. Her fingers are quick and nimble as they feed the tie around his neck and elegantly create a knot. If Spencer wasn’t already in love, he knows that watching her eyes twinkle and her tongue poke out as she concentrates would make him declare it then and there.

“So handsome,” she says, using that quiet voice that makes it seem like she’s talking to herself rather than him, “I can’t wait to dance with you,” she tells him tugging the tie.

“I’m not going to be good, Y/N. I’m going to be a fool,” Spencer says, lamenting already about what an idiot he’s going to look like in front of Y/N.

“That’s nonsense, Spence,” Y/N says, waving him away with a toss of her hand, “You’re going to be the best dancer there,” she tells him rubbing her hand up and down his arm, like she did at the store.

“Would you believe it, if I told you I never danced with anyone?” Spencer says, being the most honest and true he’s ever been.

“We can change that,” Y/N says, stepping towards Spencer and linking her hand in his. She squeezes, restarting and stopping his heart all in one go, “oh wait we need music,” she says, feeling around for where her phone usually is.

“I got it,” Spencer says, stepping away from Y/N. He walks over to the small record player in the corner of his living room. He doesn’t play it too often, the records he has were once his mother’s and they’re too painful to play most days. But Spencer’s sure that he can make every exception to all his rules for Y/N. Maybe he’ll get some happy memories out of it.

“Going old school I see,” Y/N says, teasingly as Spencer walks over grabbing both his hands in hers, “everything about you is very charming, Doctor Reid,” she says, softly swaying to the jazzy tunes of Sarah Vaughan.

“I’m not too sure about that,” Spencer says, following Y/N’s lead as she floats around his living room, carrying him everywhere she goes. She rests her head against his chest and Spencer swears that she’s going to get a concussion from how hard his heart beats.

They’re alone, no audience to witness the moment that Spencer wonders if he can dare to call intimate. It’s intimate to him because every moment with Y/N is intimate. Maybe if someone had told Spencer that dancing like this could bring pure paradise all the way from your fingertips to your eyelashes, maybe he would have done it sooner.

“You’re quite the romantic, Spencer,” Y/N says as the song comes to a close. The record player stops, but they don’t stop swaying, “And you told me you couldn’t dance,” she scoffs lightly, with her head still resting against his chest.

“Is that okay with you?” He asks, “me being romantic,”

“I don’t think that I’d want it any other way, Spencer,” Y/N says, removing her head from his chest and her hand from his. She cups his face, touching him lightly. Y/N holds him like he aches to be held. It’s gentle and tender, yet leaves him desiring more.

“Honest?” Spencer asks, daring to be brave.

“Truly,” she responds.

Spencer shifted slightly, so he can also hold her face in his hands. Y/N drops her hands though, wrapping them around Spencer’s waist to pull them closer together. Spencer’s phantom fingers are like that dance around that dance around Y/N’s skin.

It’s Y/N that initiates the kiss. She moves in slowly and tenuously, looking just as nervous as Spencer is. He’s shaky slightly, the anticipation getting to his head when all he can see is Y/N’s eyes looking into his and all he can think about is how soft her skin is. It’s all he’s ever wanted to think about. Her lips are soft and pillowy.

But it’s more than that.

Kissing her is everything to Spencer. It’s the breathy sighs she lets out as he moves his hands and rests them securely behind her neck. It’s the peachy scent of her perfume that’s so sweet and strong it should be overwhelming when all it is, is intoxicating. Kissing her is dizzying and terrifying, but wonderful and sweet. He can’t tell where his lips start and where her’s end, but it doesn’t matter.

He doesn’t open his eyes because he knows he’s facing the mirror. But unlike before, he doesn’t need a mirror to know what he’s looking at. He can look into his soul for that.

“Very romantic,” Y/N says, smiling through the quick kisses she plants on his jawline, “I always thought you’d be a romantic,” he tells him.

Spencer brushes his thumb over Y/N’s bottom lip. It’s puffy and bitten from his kisses, but he thinks that it would be a shame to not bite and kiss it some more. He smiles so hard he knows that he’ll wake up in the morning and his mouth will hurt. But that’s the least of his worries if Y/N’s there to kiss it better.

“Honest?” Spencer says, calling back to the song, that’s now their song.

“Truly,”

---

TAGLIST (ADD YOURSELF HERE)

@shemarmooresfedora @willowrose99 @calm-and-doctor @spideygenius @measure-in-pain @nomajdetective @spencerreid9 @saspencereid @laurakirsten0502 @winifrede @muffin-cup @idonotexiste @pastelbabygirl19 @strawberryspence @g0lden-cth @spookydrreid

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader fluff #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds fics #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader happy ending #spencer reid x reader one shot #spencer reid deserved a happy ending #criminal minds fanfiction

[scorpionyx9621]

While the art is left to be desired (i'm hope i use this ohrase right, my english is awful). I suprised that i found future state!Jason to be more enjoyable than Urban Legend one. Like he's way more capable there and [spoiler alert] also Bruce depend on him and still call him son? So you can have a bad ass Jason and good son jason at the same time.

So I need to apologize because this turned into a rant about Jason's characterization as whole and MAN is it long-winded and I'm sorry.

I have to agree. I really like the characterization Future State/Dark Detective is going for with Jason.

Jason is still the typical Jason we've grown to expect. Cold, cynical, snarky, willing to cross the dark red line and kill if need be, but he's still shown to have emotions. When he's betraying the family it's vocalized by Jason that he's upset about the situation. He doesn't want to, but he must for the mission Bruce put him under.

Truth be told, I'm not fully caught up on Future State/Dark Detective. I've kind of been reading spoilers and just getting the general gist in the periphery from people like you on Tumblr. I've been more focused on Urban Legends, which, while I will say I still don't hate the story, hell we still have two issues left of Cheer, and I by no means think Chip Zdarsky is a bad writer by any means. His characterization of Jason irks me.

*God I was so on the fence about Eddy Barrow's take on Jason until Issue #3. That right there? THAT. That's a handsome ass man Maurry*

ANYWAYS: I'm irked by Zdarsky's take on Jason just because of how hot headed and brash Jason is. Now don't get me wrong, every main writer for Jason has taken a bit of a different spin and while the big characters who have written Jason (Judd Winnick, Scott Lobdell, Tony Daniel) and while Zdarsky seems to be what I'm hoping to be a bit of a medication of Jason & Bruce's relationship. He's doing it at the expendature of Jason's characterization of being a damn near criminal mastermind.

If we focus on Winnick and Daniel's interpretation of Jason (Winnick wrote the original Under the Hood & Lost Days. Daniels wrote Battle for the Cowl) as well as all Pre-New 52 versions of Jason. Jason is a monster. Like genuinely a horrible human being. He still fights for right moral side (he kills mostly child abusers/drug traffickers and the likes) but this Jason is genuinely unhinged and while smart, he's absolutely monster. Hell, in Battle for the Cowl after hearing Bruce's final words, he has a villainous breakdown. Dresses as batman, and starts killing people. Judd Winnick himself said he sees Jason as a 'Psychopath' and there are a lot of very vocal people who say Winnick's original interpretation of Jason as a violent, misanthropic villain is the superior version and that Jason should return to this.

*I love to point out that I made a post on my alt account questioning Jason's age in this issue. Turns out he's Like SEVENTEEN. I get why they draw him older and more mature because of his darker/more villainous tendencies. But there's something kind of True Crime Podcast host fascination I have with this greasy, crusty, 17 year old who just casually kills 30 mobsters in horrific gun violence and calls it a day.*

Then we have the New 52. And in comes Red Hood & The Outlaws + the eventual Red Hood: Outlaw series. Piloted by the one Scott Lobdell. Now I know a lot of people dislike Lobdell for his takes on certain characters, his all-over-the-place writing style. (Let's not forget his allegations of SA and the fact that he openly admits that he wrote Jason as a self-insert for a 'bad guy seeking redemption') this was my first comic experience with Jason and to be honest, I can't bring myself to hate it. Sure there's some parts that literally show how much of a dumpster fire Lobdell's writing can become, but for the most part I genuinely liked the characterization of Jason that Lobdell gives. Jason may be a bit more reactionary and just kind of making shit up as he goes along, but he's far from dumb. The intro to the series has Jason sneaking into a terrorist run nuclear sub and killing everyone inside.

Again: Lobdell's writing is all of the place. But I do like that his take on Jason is a bit more subdued. I know in the New 52 they wanted to make Jason an Anti-Hero. Someone who very much still driven by emotion and revenge. But he's definetly more relaxed and even has a lot of fun. Intelligence wise he has is moments, but it does emphasize that while he may be the best read Robin, he does have a tendency to leap before he looks. Also all the art for RHATO with the exception of a few series were TOP TIER. I understand why they hired artists like Kenneth Rocafort and Dexter Soy to rehabilitate his image. I mean, come on.

Now if we're talking about Jason's intelligence, I'd be absolutely remiss if I didn't discuss Red Hood: Outlaw and the Price of Gotham Arc. Specifically this exchange between Bruce & Jason. To me, this is the single best part of Lobdell's run and shows Jason's true intelligence.

To give a rundown: After Bruce banished Jason from Gotham after seemingly killing the Penguin. Bruce proceeded to find Jason and literally beat him to within an inch of his life. It took MONTHS for Jason to recover. A lot happens but mostly Jason finds out (from Bruce no less) that Penguin is still alive. Jason hatches a devious plan. He takes over the iceberg lounge, kidnaps and holds Penguin hostage. Publically outs himself as Jason Todd, the dead ward of Bruce Wayne, as alive and well, and the new owner of the Iceberg Lounge.

When Bruce finds out he's clearly pissed and goes to confront Jason because he's banished him from Gotham. But because Jason outed himself as alive and one of Bruce's sons. Batman can do NOTHING. Jason has Bruce by the balls. If Bruce does anything to Jason while he's out and alive as Jason, all Jason has to do is tell the truth. And the whole Batman jig is up in an instant. And Bruce? After these panels? He runs off with his tail between his leg because he can't touch Jason. And all Jason did was capture penguin, and come out as alive. THIS is the Jason that I love. This is the Jason that strikes fear into people's hearts.

I think a lot of the general complaints we see about Jason as a whole is just how inconsistent he is with his writing. Which I agree. It's hard to characterize Jason well when there's been a character like Lobdell who was at the Helm of Jason's character for 10 years and then forced to leave. And I don't really know if DC has any really solid plans for his character and development. There's a lot of hype surrounding the end of Cheer and them saying it'll 'change Red Hood & Batman's relationship forever' as well as with Jason being featured in the new Suicide Squad coming this August, and Jason getting a feature in an issue of Robin. It'll be interesting to see where they take the character. Personally I do want a resumption of Jason. But like Harley Quinn where they're taking their sweet time redeeming her. Jason has done A LOT of awful things and of they wanna make him a hero, I want a few years to pass in terms of monthly issues before we see Jason become a hero again.

*edit: spelling*

#Jason Todd #Bruce Wayne #Batfam #red hood and the outlaws #red hood outlaw #batman urban legends #Batman future state #Red Hood #Red Hood lost days #judd winick #scott lobdell #Battle for the cowl #im sorry this is long #thanks for the ask!

[lady-literature]

ayy, so ya’ll know that Miraculous/DC crossover I screamed about a while back? I found plot for it.

It is not quite finished yet, but it’s also so much longer than I originally planned on it being. (me: I’ll just write a fun little thing to get this out of my head!

me, 13k words later: oh no)

SO! Here’s a little sneak peak!

(or, find the finished product here!)

***

There is an unspoken rule, kept by any outsider who’s ever set foot in Gotham, that you should only ever visit the city once. Most find that visiting even once was already too much.

The most dangerous city on earth isn’t kind to its residents—much less strangers who don’t know how to watch their pockets or keep off the streets after dark. It’s gotten better, perhaps, in recent years since the Bat started lurking on rooftops, but that doesn’t mean the city is good.

Normal people stay as far from Gotham as they can get.

Marinette, (un)luckily, is far from normal.

***

The touring of Metropolis, New York City, and Gotham had been going well as far as Marinette was concerned, no matter what Chloé says to her about carelessness and naivety.

She’s glad her, Adrien and Chloé all decided to take this summer trip before they started University in the fall. It sucks that it was just the three of them, she wishes more of their friends could’ve tagged along but, alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

Kagami was in the middle of training season and couldn’t come. Luka was touring with his father, learning the tricks of the trade and other things. Nathaniel had already been commissioned to paint a mural downtown before they really finalized dates. Nino was in much the same boat as Nath, just with music and pitch meetings. Felix hated traveling and Alix was doing… something. Time travelling, probably. Or at least spending more time in the burrow.

Marinette was certainly starting to notice the way she’s begun talking about ancient history like she was actually there when she goes on rants now. Felix also probably noticed but Marinette’s also sure that he’s aiding and abetting her in exchange for insider information so…

She’ll probably have to deal with that later, unfortunately. But not today.

Their tour group was going to Amusement Mile later that afternoon, but had been given free roam until then. Marinette decided to spend the time up until lunch at the park near the meetup spot in Gotham Square and Chloé hadn’t complained or vetoed that idea so the trio happily camped out on the grass.

Marinette had returned to her sketch of Lady Gotham in between eating bites of her sandwich. She thinks she much preferred the style of it to New York City’s Lady Liberty. There was just something about the Statue of Justice that inspired her.

She’d been doodling about it since they left the marina yesterday. She also had plenty of pictures of the statue for inspiration later. There’s one she especially likes and thinks she might even print out to put up on her wall at home.

She’s playing with the idea of draping fabrics for formal wear designs like the roman togas both Lady statues seem to wear when a tennis ball rolls up and bumps into her leg. She has only enough time to move her sketchbook out of the way before a large dog bowls into her, tail wagging happily and barking up a storm.

“Oof!”

Adrien’s already halfway up the tree, startled out of his light doze by the barking and Chloé only daintily moved away from Marinette, leaving her to her fate. 

Pushing herself back up so she’s not crushed by what feels like one hundred pounds of dog, she comes face to snout with quite possibly the biggest dog she’s ever seen. From there, there was really only one choice of action Marinette could have followed.

“Oh! Well, aren’t you just the prettiest boy?” she tells the dog happily, reaching up to give him scratches. “Such a big boy! You nearly bowled me over, didn’t you?”

If it’s possible, the dog’s tail begins to wag even faster, enough that he accidentally overbalances himself and decides to roll with it, flopping onto his back and letting her rub his stomach. Marinette does so enthusiastically, her baby-talk to the dog devolving into broken not-words and the occasional exclamation of good boy! in both English and French.

The dog was a great dane, and had the softest coat of black fur she’s ever seen. There was a thick red collar around his throat, and Marinette stopped furiously rubbing his belly long enough to look at the silver tag attached to it.

“Titus, huh?” she says to the dog. “Such a strong name for such a distinguished boy, huh?”

“Oh god,” she hears Adrien groan from his spot still up in the tree. When she looks up, she finds him eyeing Titus with distrust, the absolute kitten. “I hope whoever his owner is, they’ve never read Shakespeare.”

Both her and Chloé blink at the strange non sequitur.

“Uh, why? Exactly?”

“Because they have shit taste in his plays if they do! Titus Andronicus is, like, Shakespeare’s worst play.”

Chloé glares up at him. “You’re such a nerd. Now stop being ridiculous and get down from there.”

“But, Chloé! It’s a dog.”

“Adrien Agreste!”

Marinette tunes out the two blondes as they devolve into sibling-like bickering. It’s a skill she’s had to learn and learn quickly with living in such close quarters with the pair for the last few weeks and also being friends with the pair for the past three years.

“Speaking of your owner, I wonder where they are?” She scratches under Titus’ chin thoughtfully. “Should we go look for them?”

Titus' head flops to the side, almost like he’s listening for something, before he’s clambering up onto his feet to tower over her. He’s almost twice as tall as she is sitting, which is just ridiculous. Why is everything in America so big?

Getting to her feet herself, Titus still stands almost as tall as her. She can rest her elbow on his back when she grabs his collar to make sure he doesn’t run off. He leads mostly, pulling her along at a steady trot she has to jog to keep up with.

He truly was such a well behaved dog and certainly lived up to his breed’s reputation as a gentle giant.

Or at least she thought so, until the call of “Titus! Here!” echoes through the park and he goes racing off towards it, dragging Marinette along for the ride no matter how much she tries to slow down.

Titus comes to a skidding stop, and Marinette barely stops herself from falling by keeping her arm around Titus.

“And who are you?”

Looking up, she finds a young man, probably around her age, staring down at her. He does not look happy—but most Gothamites don’t, Marinette’s found. He’s also, despite the almost glare he’s giving her, very attractive.

When she opens her mouth, incoherent French comes tumbling out, much to her embarrassment.

Ah. ‘Not being able to speak coherently to people she finds attractive’, she had wondered where that particular personality trait had been as of late. Even after so many years hanging around people who should be—and are—super models, she still acts like a spaz. Why is she like this?

The man raises an eyebrow at her, looking very unamused.

She tries again. “Ah- Je suis- I mean, I am very sorry. Your dog found me sitting over there with my friends and I figured I should find his owner instead of letting him just wander around and I assume your his owner because if you aren’t this is very embarrassing for me. Not that it wasn’t embarrassing before but, oh, I’m definitely rambling and I’m going to shut up now.”

Pressing her lips together as tightly as humanly possible so her tongue will stop making horrible life decisions, she holds Titus’ bright yellow tennis ball out to his owner.

The man huffs, taking the ball from her hand. “I didn’t ask for your life’s story.”

Marinette blinks and then frowns. Her hand tightens around where she’s still holding onto Titus’ collar and she has to very carefully unclench her hand before she breaks it or something.

“I didn’t give it,” she says through clenched teeth, embarrassment abruptly forgotten. There’s no need for the man to be rude.

He scoffs. “Could’ve fooled me.”

She doesn't really have anything to say to that. Instead, she turns to Titus, who’s sitting like the good boy he is. She very seriously leans down to eye level—she does not have to lean down far—and tells him, “Your owner is an ass. But you are still a very good boy.”

She plants a kiss to his forehead that makes his tail wag, gives him one last scratch behind the ears and walks back towards her friends without looking back at the rude man. 

***

Colonel Bug: so I met kagami and felix’s lovechild today

MY HONOR: I would never stoop so low.

the evil twin: I would never stoop so low.

ShutUpTurtleMan: Nettie

dearest

the evil twin: Okay first of all-

ShutUpTurtleMan: sunshine

light of our collective lives and reason I breathe

what the fuCK

YoureUnderAgreste: Kagami, my love, how could you?

The Betrayal™

GottaGoFast: ew

Queen of Salt: ew

sneaky snake: Send pics or it didn’t happen

give me art or give me death: [a photo of the ‘right in front of my salad?’ meme]

Queen of Salt: wait

I was with you all day when did this happen?

was it the owner of the dog that attacked you?

ShutUpTurtleMan: WHAT

Colonel Bug: he didn’t attack me!

chloe stop spreading misinformation!

titus was a sweetheart!

YoureUnderAgreste: incorrect

he was, in fact, a menace

give me art or give me death: wait was Titus the dog or the lovechild

ShutUpTurtleMan: ^^^ ?

Colonel Bug: shut up adrien

all animals are great

stop being elitist

give me art or give me death: okay but seriously what kind of dog was it

the evil twin: why exactly was he our lovechild?

GottaGoFast: because of the dramatic tryst you and Kagami had obviously

keep up

Colonel Bug: because he was as pretty as he was rude actually

And gave me the feeling that he’d rant about his honor and parentage if it given the chance

MY HONOR: you say something once as an unsocialized teen

GottaGoFast: MARI YOU DOG!

ARE GETTING TAIL IN GOTHAM OF ALL PLACES?

Colonel Bug: no alix

did you not read the part about how rude he is

YoureUnderAgreste: i mean,,,,,

Felix is pretty rude and we all still like him

ShutUpTurtleMan: and Chloe

YoureUnderAgreste: oh good point nino

Colonel Bug: i hate it here

i spoke to him for like 2 seconds

Queen of Salt: Okay first of all-

YoureUnderAgreste: so i mean it’s not really a dealbreaker yaknow?

Colonel Bug: this familys a nightmare

i shoulda left you all on the street corner where i found you

YoureUnderAgreste: BUT CHA DINDT

ShutUpTurtleMan: but yA DIDNT

GottaGoFast: BUT CHA DIDNT!!

sneaky snake: but ya didn’t

***

I have every no regrets. stay tuned for more!

#my typewriter #miraculous ladybug #batfam #maribat #daminette #mlb #dc #mlb x dc

[spandexinspace]

13 18 19 40 47

13. What’s the worst character assassination you’ve seen happen?

I'm kinda blanking here, so I'm going to go with the most recent issue of The Human Target turning Guy into a controlling, abusive asshole. Guy is intense, loud and somewhat crass, but he's not that and he treats Tora better than that.

Actually, one more but it's not super specific. Comics that basically ignore Booster's character development (and it's still one of the best character arcs in big two comics). It seems to still be canon post-Flashpoint, but writers love to turn him into an idiot who knows fuck all about time travel.

18. Which character got fucked over by the reboot the most?

I'm not one to get off my Legion horse, so the Legion. Seriously, they rebooted one singular year before Flashpoint. And then Flashpoint happened and they were not rebooted again (except some parts were still rebooted but only a little), but they got disconnected from reality and everything just went down the drain from there. I blame most of our current issues on that. I don't think we'd be stuck with the shitty Bendisboot if DC hadn't done that to them.

It's also somewhat likely that Flashpoint is what killed the other projects that were supposed to spin out of L3W, like the reboot team as the new Wanderers. Which could have been an amazing title.

19. Rant about a change they made to a character of your choice.

Vril on No Justice. Vril takes every opportunity to talk about how much he hates his dad, it's the most obvious part of his entire character and if you've read more than one issue of any comic he's been in you'd know that.

So why is this new Vril suddenly some kind of basic bitch who sucks up to his dad? How does that make any sense with his character?

And that's just the most basic part, everything else he does in that comic is also just a lot less calculated than his normal behaviour, even outright juvenile at times. Vril is emotionally fucked up and all that, but he knows how to lie and manipulate and that is his first line of defence, especially when up against an enemy that's stronger than him (i.e. the entire League+villains team up coalition). Also, he has no reason to want to follow through with that plan.

There was no reason to change all that, but I'm 100% sure the creative team saw Vril, realised he was Brainiac's son and decided to just give zero fucks about his actual traits because he's a minor character and they knew few people would notice.

40. What’s your most detested plot point?

Is "Darkseid is revealed as the man behind the man" a plot point? Because I hate it and will start to resent any book that does it. He's so, so boring and I never want to see him again. You have other villains, use them.

Also, I hate storylines where Querl "goes insane". I'm not against writers exploring his mental health because that's very obviously something that is pertinent to his characters, but simplifying it down to "goes insane" is such a lazy take and I can't remember a time when it's actually been developed beyond that.

47. What’s the worst blatantly untrue fanon take you thought was canon?

I can't actually remember any specific instance where I've had that problem. There's probably some batstuff I'm totally wrong about because I don't read anything from that part of the universe yet see a lot of fandom content.

I guess the cartoon fandom convinced me that comic Beast Boy was just like the cartoon version back when I was like twelve? Which turned out to be very false once I actually got into comics, much to my disappointment.

#ask meme #I swear I read Marvel comics too #just not right now because the four thousand x-books threw off my groove #and i'm overly invested in losh #anyway thank you for the asks squirrel hope you enjoy my long-winded rants

[starrybouquet]

On Seasons 9 and 10 of Stargate SG1

A note: I wrote a series of essays several weeks ago, when I was feeling particularly crappy. I'm not particularly proud of them--they're pretty dramatic--but they do explain several of my more personal fandom feelings. I know I don't always tend to be the best at explaining things on the spot, so I'm posting these with the hope that I can refer people to them the next time that happens.

Um, I mentioned they're a little dramatic. I'm really, really sorry about that. But hey, if I can't be dramatic on Tumblr, in fandom, where else is that gonna go?

But still - if you're feeling a little sensitive today, maybe you wanna skip this. Or not. Just a light warning. :)

This piece is on seasons 9 and 10 of Stargate SG1, but they aren't all Stargate-related. I'll be posting them in the next few days, hopefully.

To those of you who like s9-10: I have nothing against you. Some of you I know better, some less well. In general, though, I like you, you seem like fine people. This is not about you, I hold nothing against you for liking those seasons. In fact, I envy you. This is more a personal post about why I'm an idiot. If you want, feel free to scroll down past this. I won't be offended. I'd put it under the cut but I'm on mobile.

Okay. Why, hello, those of you willing to read this rant...

No matter how much I denounce and ignore it, I cannot get past the pain of seasons 9 and 10 of Stargate SG-1. I've never watched them in full. Seen a few episodes here and there.

I cannot, repeat, CANNOT stand the thought today. It hurts.

It's an old pain, and it's not just SG1. SG1 is just one of the highlights in a long line of books and shows that have repeatedly broken my heart by being SO GOOD and then taking an, uh, precipitous right turn, shall we say. Because a hard right seems too kind, and a precipitous drop too harsh.

I love SG1. I love love love it. I like the plots and I love the science, but what I really fell in love with was the characters.

I loved all of them. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: if Sam, Daniel, or Teal'c had been on any other show, I guarantee you they would have been my favorite by far. Jack is just so...Jack that he has to be my favorite. That's SG1 for you.

I've never had super close friends. I have good RL friends, don't get me wrong. They're nice people. But we don't have much in common.

That's okay. That's been my experience forever--really nice folks who maybe didn't always get me or have anything to say to me, but were good, decent people.

And this is good. Really, it is. It's just that SG-1, for me, has always represented the promise that there *are* people out there that are your true friends, and you will do brave and brilliant things with them. It will happen.

It's naive, I know. But I haven't been able to let it go. Maybe someday. But not right now.

Which brings me to s9-10 of SG1. It hurts.

It hurts that SG1 scattered to the wind.

It hurts that they sent Jack away from a place where he was happy, where he'd found friends and meaning in life again, away to fucking DC. To be...what? A politician? I could write a whole post just about this. Actually, I have. I could still write more posts about it!

It hurts that Sam went to Area 51, and nobody seemed to mind, the 'Gate didn't spontaneously combust as we were always led to believe it would.

It hurts that Daniel's personality supposedly changed that much, in the absence of his friends. Though some of his lines are funny, they aren't the earnest, idealistic, thoughtful Daniel I fell in love with. I get the idea that new-look Daniel would roll his eyes at s3-8 Daniel, and beat up floppy hair Daniel. And floppy hair Daniel is my baby and anyone who doesn't appreciate his brilliance can face my wrath. That includes you, buff s9-10 Daniel, and also whoever decided/approved that change in characterization.

Really, the only one who doesn't hurt is Teal'c. Because it feels like he's moving forward, toward happiness.

So...here we are. Season 9. Mitchell, Landry.

I often say I hate Mitchell. Do I resent him for replacing Jack? Yes. I do. We can talk about plot reasons and all that, but at the end of the day, I was going to hate anyone who tried to be Jack.

This is true in real life, too. You can't try to be anyone else. You've gotta walk your own path.

Now, people say that I didn't give Mitchell a chance. I say that the way he was portrayed, in the few episodes I've seen, tells me enough.

I can think of lots of ways Mitchell could have been interesting. How would Daniel and Teal'c react to an old, actually bad tempered (not Jack bad tempered, actually bad tempered) hardass after eight years of their best friends leading them? Or--start with his actual character. Mitchell, he hasn't been at the SGC. Wouldn't he get some flack from the longtime team leaders of SGs 2-5ish? They'd be insulted, right?

Or we could've gotten a nice Daniel Teal'c episode arc and then we could've had one Samantha Carter as team leader, though we won't get into that.

Bringing me to my next point. Co-leads?? Seriously?? You're trying too hard, folks. Telling me Sam used to know Mitchell does not actually make me like him.

Same thing with Landry. Unlike Mitchell, I guess I don't really have an opinion on Landry. He's just....there? No character development for this man.

Anyway, back to the team.

One of the things I love about SG1 is how the humor and friendship was so damn natural. Other than a few episodes (Urgo comes to mind), the plots weren't intentionally humorous. They were campy sci-fi plots sometimes, sure. They were funny because Jack was funny, yeah. They were lower budget than some other sci-fi. But they were as serious as sci-fi gets. It was how the characters reacted that made it funny.

Similarly, we were never told SG1 were found family. We just Knew. Because of the way they acted with each other. Because of the way Jack would "order" them to do things.

And hey, by the way, they weren't always family. Sam used to be less willing to ignore Jack. Daniel used to be less willing to trust Teal'c. Jack used to be a little more stern.

So...they meshed together. Like all found families do.

Every time I see a photo of new-look SG1 in seasons 9 and 10, I can't help but feel that they're trying too hard. I don't get the family feel because they aren't a family, damn it. It doesn't matter how many times you *tell* me they're super close. One of the reasons the original team got so close is because they all needed each other. Jack was depressed, Daniel was grieving, Sam was alone and had lost her mom and wasn't speaking with her dad and had never opened up to anyone in her life, Teal'c was an alien fighting for freedom after spending 100 years essentially as a slave.

And partly because of that, by season 9? Daniel and Teal'c (and Sam, when she comes back) don't need a family the way they used to. They have each other. They have Jack, or at least they *should*. *Glares in angry at Jack in DC vibes*

So...they simply don't have the relationship with Mitchell they do with each other.

It'd be different if Mitchell needed a family. It's not that SG1 hasn't added people before--I think Jonas is a perfect example of this. He wasn't Daniel, and that always hurt. But he was young, and naive, and innocent, and he needed SG1 because he'd left everything he'd ever known.

And that worked.

Without needing family, Mitchell is just a coworker. He can be a friendly coworker. A friend. But if he wanted to become better friends, family, he needed to show depth and vulnerability. He needed to need SG1.

And he never does, from what I've seen and heard about and read about. Or if he does need SG1, he doesn't need them badly enough to show more than an occasional bout of thoughtfulness before returning to his normal pale-Jack-imitation ways.

Now, I don't know why that is. I lean toward bad writing. I haven't watched Farscape (it's on my to watch list) but it seems like Ben Browder is a fine actor.

So, seasons 9 and 10 are probably fine TV. I'm never going to watch them through, so don't ask. I've tried and failed and every time it just tears my heart a little more and I'm won't be doing it again.

Those seasons...they just lost everything I watch SG-1 for, and so...yeah. I feel the hate strongly. Not because they're bad--I think they're different, not necessarily bad. My hate is only because in creating those seasons, they tore down the parts of SG1 that I loved most.

So s9-10 show me a few nice hugs and laughs? That's nice. I like comedies, I do. However...that's not my Stargate. Not the one I love. I liked the sarcastic one, the one full of wonder, the one where they had to scrape and claw their way through the galaxy with naivety and courage and brilliance. The one where they ate together, fought together, died together, were resurrected together.

It hurts, man. It hurts when the things I love turn into something that's lukewarm. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

That's why we have fanfic. And, with any luck, I'll actually start that AU I've been talking about.

It's fanfic, and so it'll be my Stargate. The ending I wanted--which really wasn't an ending at all, more of a closure of one chapter of the story.

Damn, did that turn dramatic. Um, sorry about that, and also sorry for spilling my feelings all over you guys. Thanks for reading, if you got to the end of this.

#sg1 #stargate sg1 #fandom #sg1 meta #overdramatic fandom essays #my blogstuffs

[bigskydreaming]

Do you ever feel like you're pushing a boulder up a hill defending characters against the same whole-hearted misinformation that keeps getting repeated again & again as if it's canon? I tried 4 times in a chat thread where people kept insisting that Dick Grayson and even the Teen Titans were jerks to Jason Todd when he was Robin. I don't know how you do it. No matter what you say, it just keeps going. No canon is ever enough. Why are some fans so set on the idea that everyone ostracized Jason?

Ooof yeah, that’s a whole barrel of annoying. The big gripe for me, in both my major fandoms, is that so much of the misinformation comes paired with this contradictory insistence on how much people don’t give a fuck about canon.....even while willfully trying to reinvent canon to say what they want it to say, in order to back up their version of events or take on various characters!

Its like, if you don’t give a fuck about canon, THEN DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT CANON. Don’t TELL me you don’t give a fuck about canon, and then GO OFF on how canon does all these things that canon most definitely does not do, thereby casting MUCH MUCH doubt upon your claims of not giving a fuck about canon, and suggesting that in fact, you do give quite a bit of fucks about canon, actually.

Y’know?

fahsklfhalfhkafl

But honestly, I’m not the person to give advice on this front because oof, I make bad choices here. LOLOLOL, no but for real, I can’t really tell you how to just deal with this because I’m like, I do not have mastery of that skillset myself. I have however long since exhausted myself of any illusions about CHANGING the minds of people who are particularly insistent upon things that never happened informing their particular view of characters, because like.....the reality is, people who come into fandoms emotionally invested in views of characters that they derived from other fics or fanons, like......it doesn’t matter that those things aren’t canon, what matters is their emotional investment in this particular fandom is entirely bound up in those particular views no matter WHERE they originated from, and so most of them aren’t changing their minds any time soon because they don’t WANT another viewpoint, their original one is the reason they’re here and invested in the first place. 

BUT at the same time, everybody wants to feel validated in their viewpoints, so the more that viewpoint is challenged by people being like uh no, here’s a thing that says you’re wrong, look, its here, its clear, the facts say shhhhhh the marketing campaign for all the Hateorade you’ve drunk about this character is based entirely on The Sky Is Green If We Say It Is logic.....the more people are like, determined to prove they’re right, even if their own personal conviction ORIGINALLY was not dependent on canon whatsoever and it only retroactively started mattering to them not as a source point for how they view characters but like, rather, a data point for Here’s How I Can Still Win This Argument.

And here’s where being in a comics fandom gets really fucking annoying:

Because there are so damn many comics.

And like, a lot of people in comics fandoms don’t even read the comics, and say so - and I mean, this is fine? If you’re here for the characters you don’t need to be here for the comics, so if you don’t actually like comics, like don’t read the comics, just read fic. Its whatever. BUT the bigger issue in my experience is like.....people arguing about comics canon even when they haven’t read the comics, like....often project onto everyone they’re arguing with, like, their own stance on comics.

What I mean by that is a lot of the people arguing about comics canon even when they proudly haven’t read a comic in their life because there are so many where would they even start and also, eww, I’m not doing all that.....like....there’s this presumption evident in a lot of arguments that the same holds true for everyone else in comics fandoms.....that none of the rest of us have read all those comics either, because how could anyone? There’s so many of them!

Forgetting of course, that many of us come into these fandoms from entirely different trajectories. If you come into a comics fandom because of fanfics, or a cartoon adaptation, or the movies.....upon your first day in fandom, when you look at all the comics canon that’s out there, you’re like holy shit that’s a lot, nobody could ever read all that, I’m certainly not going to read all that, I’m going back to fics.

BUT for those of us who came into these fandoms from the direction of reading the comics......our perspective was entirely different, because it was never some singular monolithic VASTNESS of unread comics that nobody could ever tackle because where would we even begin. For those of us who were reading comics for years or most of our lives......its been a handful of issues a month, month after month, year after year, rather than all in one sitting.

So the point of conflict becomes the presumption from a lot of fans who AREN’T here because of the comics, that comic book canon is this untapped cornucopia of potential validation, Schrodinger’s Canon, it can be basically whatever they want it to be, because who’s to say it ISN’T? If they can’t read all of that, nobody can read all of that, so when you think about it, its entirely plausible that the thing they insist happened in canon actually DID happen in canon, SOMEWHERE in all of that.....because just because they don’t know where it is and can’t point to it as explicitly existing, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist either. Who’s to say, really?

Well. Umm. People who in fact actually HAVE read all or most of the RELEVANT comics. Like yeah nobody’s read every comic ever I bet, lolol, but for lifelong DC readers, canon ISN’T this vast uncharted territory that can potentially contain everything.....its actually quite charted, and there are people who absolutely do know what it does and does not contain.

And this I think is at the heart of the insistence on particular points of argument, like Jason was always perpetually mistreated and Dick and the Titans hated him on sight and that’s why the Knights of the Order of Protection for the Smol Jason Bean hate Dick, because he was a giant jerkface to a little kid who never did anything to him ever. Like it doesn’t matter how much we point out that no, this did not in fact happen and is untrue, COMPLETELY, like.....people who came into fandom because of fics about Jason in which the entire perspective upon his character is uniformly, with virtually no exception, that he was scapegoated by Dick from Day One and he and Dick will always be eternally at odds because of the remnants of what a jerk and failure of a brother Dick was to him at first.......like, I feel like there’s this conviction lying underneath all those arguments, no matter how much canon they’re presented with, that there still exists out there SOMEWHERE, some untapped treasure trove of panels proving what a buttface Dick was to his first little brother, validating everything they’ve ever believed and thought ever, because look all those depictions of Dick being a giant assbutt to Jason in fics had to come from SOMEWHERE after all, didn’t they?

Well, yeah. They did come from somewhere. They came from the writers who wrote those fics that way because they either just hated Dick’s character or they were working through their own sibling angst and projected certain dynamics onto the characters or someone told them this is what things were like in the comics and they didn’t know any different or just didn’t care or a hundred million other possible reasons for why they wrote them that way with none of those reasons being Cuz Canon Said So.....and then those particular depictions caught on and multiplied fruitfully like the offspring of rabbits doing it sans contraceptives.

Because its not like “perpetual black sheep of the family so unfairly hated, so misunderstood, especially by the family’s favored son, the golden boy” is a fan favorite trope on its own, regardless of whether or not the characters said trope is applied to actually FIT that trope.

So in the end, the painful irony was not only did canon have nothing to do with that trend, canon COULD do nothing about that trend, because the reasons people turned to it, despite how often canon gets brought into it....really had nothing to do with canon.

So tbh, my personal stance these days is the best defense to fic-borne and originating views of the characters and their dynamics is NOT canon, its....more fic. Fic that presents a counter-narrative to the ones that are so often the first thing people see when they enter fandom, and thus become engrained as Truth. So that there’s at least more variety out there, because where there’s variety, there’s varied points of view, and the more people internalize THAT, that there are variations to be found in how these characters relate to each other and their shared histories......the more people have to make a CHOICE about what variations they most want to adhere to, from among the OPTIONS they’re presented with, instead of just doubling down on the first thing that clicks for them, no opposition in sight.

And if these counter “Dick’s just the worst like what an uber asshole gonna give a five star rating for Sucking At Life to that guy” fics happen to be inspired largely by canon rather than fanon like....oh no, how strange and unknowable, that’s not the Process, we’re doing it wrong but hey whatever.

But does that mean its not still frustrating as hell to see people just parroting the Dick and the Titans were mean to Jason truism as fact, especially when you know damn well its not? Hell no. That’s annoying as fuck. But don’t worry so much about trying to change peoples’ minds, I say, and instead just find people who ARE open to canon or familiar with it, and just have a good rant. Its fun!

 Here, I’ll start:

UGH AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT THIS WHOLE “DICK WAS SUCH A JERK TO JASON AND THE TITANS ALL FOLLOWED HIS LEAD” CRAPOLA SUMMER SALES EVENT:

Where would that even have happened???

Like what really chuffs my chopped onions here is when people are so suuuuuuuure that the gatekeepers of comic book fandom are keeping the real juicy anti-Dick panels hidden every time they ask “Hey Siri show me proof Dick’s a jerkmonster to Jason”....because like...they’re just SO SURE these panels are out there and its like lololol but where would they even come from? 

Because everybody overlooks that in proper Dickens fashion, pre-Flashpoint Jason was a Tale of Two Jasons, the pre-Crisis adorable child of sunshine and whee, and the post-Crisis I have smoker’s lung at age twelve Jason......and these two Jasons can and do and are MEANT to co-exist within the same body! They’re the same Jason, in hindsight!

See, post-Crisis Jason only existed for like, less than TWO YEARS real world time, before A Death in the Family! People have this assumption that because of how rock-solid the post-Crisis origin for him is and how solidly that’s informed his characterization and stories moving forward, like.....there was this HUGE foundation for it back in the day that was built upon.....but no! We’re talking like, less than twenty four issues IN TOTAL. Post-Crisis Jason was a drop in the bucket compared to pre-Crisis Jason.

So why then, is post-Crisis Jason so much more firmly cemented in peoples’ minds than pre-Crisis Jason even though pre-Crisis Jason had way more material written about him?

Because for once in DC’s existence, they were SMART about a retcon. They didn’t TRY to pit post-Crisis Jason versus pre-Crisis Jason and make people pick between them. Post-Crisis Jason wasn’t an attempt at overwriting pre-Crisis Jason and making it so he never existed. Instead, what they did with their limited amount of time writing post-Crisis Jason was overwrite only two stories specifically: his actual pre-Crisis origin, and how he and Dick first met....and then they let everything else from pre-Crisis stay! It just got folded IN BETWEEN Jason’s new post-Crisis origin and everything that came after that, thanks to some handy non-linear storytelling and flashbacks.

So rather than Jason having two entirely separate storylines and directions, they still kept him at just one....and his post-Crisis origin and A Death in the Family became BOOKENDS surrounding not just the twenty issues in between those two stories......but ALSO surrounding ALL the pre-Crisis issues featuring Jason.....including the times he interacted with Dick and the Titans.

And that’s why there’s no untapped treasure trove of potentially vilifying issues showcasing Dick being such a can of Jerkola to Jason.......

Because post-Crisis only amounted to a grand total of like twenty something issues.....in which Jason interacted with Dick once and only once....the issue which ends with Dick giving Jason his blessing as Robin, his costume, and his phone number to call him if he ever has any problems with Bruce.

But simultaneously, because all those pre-Crisis issues still existed, were still relevant, were still in continuity (as evidenced by Jason himself when he came back as the Red Hood and fought Tim at Titans Tower, referencing how he was briefly a Titan himself.......aka those issues in which he teamed up with the Titans, which ONLY happened before his new origin)....we similarly know that it wasn’t like Dick and Jason never had any contact after their first post-Crisis encounter....we just never saw Jason use that phone number on the page AFTER that issue (because again, there was no time before he was killed off in the comics TO engineer another on the page meet-up, like both characters were busy in unrelated stories in the course of the mere year between that issue and ADITF). BUT by the power of retcon, we do know that Jason still must have used it at some point, or else Dick reached out to him again at some later point off the page......because Dick and Jason’s easy familiarity with each other pre-Crisis STILL EXISTED AS WELL. They had a sibling relationship post-Crisis because they had a sibling relationship pre-Crisis...AND IT WAS THE SAME RELATIONSHIP.

And this is Part Two of why no untapped treasure trove of Jerk Dick and Poor Jason panels exists......because other than that one post-Crisis issue, all their other interactions hail from the pre-Crisis era....where Dick adored Jason and so did the rest of the Titans.

Jason wasn’t resentful of the Titans or scared of them or nursing grudges, he thought getting to hang out with his big brother’s friends WAS THE COOLEST FUCKING THING IN THE WORLD and you could practically see him bouncing on the page the times it happened. He glowed when Dick would ruffle his hair playfully or compliment him, and the Titans’ collective energy towards Jason was very much OH OUR FRIEND’S BABY BRO IS THE MOST ADORABLE SMALL CHILD EVER AND WE WILL PROTECT HIM WITH OUR LIVES.

Like people WILLFULLY misconstrue this one issue where Jason teamed up with the Original Titans other than Dick for a mission against Cheshire, and claim like “oh see, this is the proof that the Titans were mean to Jason because of Dick, they kept giving him shit for not being Dick and hated him for replacing Dick....” which omg noooooooooooo, that is so odiously NOT what happened in that issue. First off, NOBODY blamed Jason for replacing Dick back then, because at the time those issues were written, he DIDN’T....this was when Dick had given Robin to Jason himself, when choosing to move on as Nightwing. And even RETROACTIVELY looking at this issue in light of the retcon where Dick was fired as Robin, this STILL changes nothing about Dick and Jason’s dynamic at this particular time or how the rest of the Titans would have viewed Jason as of this issue.....because that’s where the post-Crisis issue specifically writing Dick and Jason’s new introduction to each other on the page matters so much. As now the ultimate takeaway is even while not making Jason Robin himself, this issue STILL showed Dick giving Jason his blessing.....thus maintaining and stabilizing every pre-Crisis interaction between Jason and the Titans and ensuring that this whole “they resented him on Dick’s behalf” scenario wouldn’t throw any retroactive curveballs into how they were with Jason...because now there still was no need for anything on Dick’s behalf, as far as Jason was concerned, because Dick had given his A-Ok.

So that just flat out never happened, not originally, pre-Crisis, and not even in hindsight after the post-Crisis retcons were factored in, because the HOW of the post-Crisis retcons specifically factored in an avoidance of this potential tangle.

And in fact, what DID happen in the arc where Jason teamed up with the Titans without Dick, to go up against Cheshire.......is that Donna, who was in charge of the team at the time, kept trying to defer to Jason-as-Robin, because subconsciously she was insecure about her leadership at the time and having a Robin at her side was making her think of when Dick had been in that role, and simultaneously been their leader, and thus she was trying to lean into the familiar comforts of being able to turn to a Robin for direction.

And Jason CALLED HER OUT ON THIS. Politely. And cutely. No for real it was adorable. But like, he did it with poise and self-confidence and deliberation, and SHE HEARD HIM. She snapped out of it. Jason laid out exactly what she was doing and why and Donna was like oh shit, you’re right, I HAVE been doing that. And Jason was like, and that’s not fair to me. And Donna was like no, you’re absolutely right, that isn’t fair to you, I’m sorry. And Jason’s like, I can’t be the leader here, I don’t have the experience that Dick does. But you do, and you can be the leader. And Donna was like. You’re three for three kiddo, damn you’re good at this.

AND THEN THEY WENT AND KICKED BAD GUY ASS TOGETHER AND EVERYTHING WAS HUNKY-DORY BECAUSE THE POINT OF THAT ENTIRE PLOT WAS NOT “EVERYONE IS MEAN TO POOR JASON BECAUSE DICK MADE A CONSPIRACY OF MEANNESS” IT WAS “JASON’S A KICK-ASS LITTLE GO-GETTER WHO KNOWS HIS STRENGTHS AND HIS STRENGTH IS TELLING PEOPLE WHEN THEY’RE BEING DUMB AND THEY NEED TO STOP THAT.”

Okay, one caveat here. I must confess, its killing me....there is ONE Titan who was a jerk to Jason.

But uh....that Titan was Hank Hall aka Hawk. And he’s a jerk to everybody. Its kinda his superpower.

And he most certainly didn’t do it on Dick’s behalf, as Hank hates Dick and Dick hates Hank asfhilfhalfhalf. Seriously, they’re basically the hateship that ppl keep trying to make Dick and Jason into, only without the incest makes it spicy or whatever element, but like, if you’re not hung up on that and can ship people without them being related, oh no, oh woe, oh say it ain’t so, like, DickHank is the unsung hateship of dreaaaaaaaaaaams. They’re like:

Hank: As it is a day ending in y, I feel now is the perfect time to let you know, without prompting, that I hate your guts because people like you. And I hate people and everything they like, on account of people are the worst.

Dick: Well, you’re people, and you’re the worst, so that tracks.

Hank: So we’re agreed. I hate you. You hate me.....

Dick: Our hate is so in harmony.

Donna: What is even happening here and do I want to know.

Roy: In reverse order, no, probably not, and I’m not sure, but I THINK they’re getting hate married, and exchanging vows to hate each other in sickness and in health, forever and ever.

Wally: *skidding around corner* I CALL BEST MAN.

Donna: Its not a real wedding Wally.

Roy: Idk they seem pretty serious about it. Which means the best man position should be valid here, which means it should be me, because suck it West, only way you’ll ever be Dick’s best man is over my dead body.

Wally: Get ready to throw down then, Robin Hood, and just call me the Sheriff of Notachanceinhell, that best man position is MINE.

Garth: Whoa, hold up, I have an agreement IN WRITING from when we were THIRTEEN for Dick and I to be each other’s best men at our weddings, so I’m gonna need you both to stand down, I LITERALLY CALLED DIBS. Look. ITS IN WRITING.

Donna: Oh for fuck’s sake, you collective pluralization of buffoons, STOP TREATING THIS AS A REAL THING. ITS NOT A REAL THING.

Dick, eyes dead-locked on Hank: Oh this is real Donna. This is happening.

Hank, stepping forward, eyes equally locked: I have never been more serious about anything in my life. 

Lilith: Sure, you’ve only both saved the world but hey why should that matter. This is definitely the real shit.

Hank: Please. I only did that to prove I could do it better than Dick could. I hate the world.

Dick: Aww, and did you cry yourself to sleep when that flopped?

Hank: Wouldn’t know. It didn’t happen.

Donna: I swear by every god on Mt. Olympus, the first one of you to say I know you are but what am I is getting flung into orbit.

Anyway. I might have gotten distracted somewhere in there. What was your question again and did I answer it? I think I did....fahlkfhaklfhalhfa.

[marisandini-chu-blog]

Bruce Wayne is a Simp for Bad Bitch

OmG I can’t believe I’m writing the obvious but the idea is in my head and I need a place to word vomit. 

Okay, so it occurred to me that Bruce has a more serious and intense relationship canonically with three women, as far as I know; Andrea Beaumont, Talia Al’ghul, and Selina Kyle. All of whom are the epitome of Bad Bitch with the capital B. (Yes, I’m ignoring Rachel Dawes from Nolanverse. The only thing I like about it is the Iconic Joker. No batman movie is good enough without the Batfam.) 

Why do I raise this point, you might ask? Well, that’s because I want to rant that Bruce, my boy, my man, my childhood comfort character is actually a SIMP?!?!

Like... I’m just... urgh.... okay... I am very vocal for a healthy relationship with commitment and based on mutual love and respect. So the fact that Bruce has only bad, iffy, or casual relationships really want to tear my hair out. And why my heart don’t want to ship with any of them, even though BatCat is one of my favorite pairing! 

I am a WonderBat shipper because I love watching them in JLAU as a kid and even though I’m not slash shipper unless it’s canon, SuperBat made much more sense to me. Heck even a threesome with the Trinity would have been healthier relationship rather than whatever Bruce had with the three of them and here’s why: 

You might not have heard of Andrea, but she’s canon from the Timmverse movie called Batman and the Mask of Phantasm which is A REALLY GREAT MOVIE. Totally recommend. One of the best Batman movie at all times (Yes, I say Batman movies not Batman Animated movies). Has great plot twist and good pacing. so Spoiler Alert! Andrea was Bruce’s fiancé, making her possibly Bruce’s first love, before his journey and possibly could have stop him from becoming Batman (I would say he’s a simp in this case, but he would have had a much more happier, healthy household so it’s not bad thing) if she hadn’t disappear for being a Mob Boss’ Daughter!!! 

I repeat, a mob boss’ daughter. 

And she came back only to be a mask avenging assassin that went toe-to-toe with Batman.

And she could have choose to stay with Bruce but she didn’t because she choose vengeance over him. Like.... Bats, you should stop with the “I am Vengeance” routine you’ve got going on because she does it better than you ngl. 

So she left and I cried at the end of that movie because trauma wasn’t enough, you put heartbreak after heartbreak to my boy. Thanks DC. 

Then there’s Fucking Talia Al’ghul which is a no brainer why she’s not Bad but BAD. Like, Talia groom Jason, supervise Damian’s harsh, brutal, and abusive training, control Damian through the implant spine to kill Dick, orders Damian execution before regretting it, DRUG BRUCE when CONCEIVING DAMIAN!!! And that’s only the top of my head. 

And if you want to blame it on Morrison’s writing, THAT’S FINE. We’ve bitched about Tom King’s writing enough to know it’s valid. 

But, BUT, bUt... it needs to be address that even before Morrison, Talia CHOOSE to stay in the League of Assassin. People can tell me that she’s a complex character that’s loyal to her father but love Bruce and that her upbringing makes her complicated or whatever. Nuh-uh. You don’t get to make Talia helpless when it suited you. Talia is a fucking Bad Bitch (TM). She’s been taught to do whatever the fuck she wants according to her belief and ideal. At some point, Talia knew she wanted to be in position of power in the League rather than staying with Bruce. 

But it’s canon that Talia, if I remember correctly, doesn’t like Gotham or Bruce’s mission. She thinks being a hero is beneath them or whatever. And doesn’t understand why Gotham is special to Bruce. So yeah, you might not agree how Morrisons write her. But do not fucking tell me she’s not a character who will not be willing to do what she thinks it’s necessary to get what she wants, including training her son as an assassin. I mean, she likes being the Demon’s Daughter in the league. She may not agree with her father but Talia wants to give Damien what she wants. Power.  

Talia loves Bruce. That’s a fact. He’s probably the only person that makes her feel like she’s a person instead of the Demon’s Daughter. Bruce has a knack for that. To make people want to be better, even just a little. Talia could have chosen him, if she wanted to. The fact that she helps him so much when fighting against her father numerous times is proof enough. 

I'm highly suspecting the reason she stays is because she knows Bruce would always forgive her (SIMP ALERT) unlike her father who would straight up stab her if she ever betrays him.

I’m not saying there’s no love for her son, I’m just saying if she even looks at the batfam funny than I will raise my flamethrower on that bitch’s face. Because you can’t rely on Bruce on that. That man would give bullshit excuse for her or want to handle her himself because your “history” with her makes you entitled.  

Aaaah, don’t you just love it when there’s a great villain you can hate on so much?

I'm not saying she can't be a good person. Pre-morisson made Talia more of an anti-hero. But I do like Talia "I'mma cut a bitch" al'ghul. It's just... I like ruthless Bad Bitch like her. Though preferably she could have balance it with more of her maternal side through Damian.

Okay, I’m getting off tangent. Now comes to my favorite girl. Catwoman. Selina Kyle. The famous ship of all Bruce’s relationship sans SuperBat. 

I... am conflicted the most about this. 

See, Selina is one of the few people who understands Bruce. Who was there when he needed a shoulder to rely on. Someone who doesn’t take Bruce’s shit, and one of the constant person in Bruce’s life. 

But not... constant enough. Which is a theme of her, even in her fursona... I, I mean PERSONA, PERSONA!!! 

Anyway, I love seeing these two broken people. One handles it with violence and vigilantism, the other through thieving with a Robinhood-esque thing going on. So of course they get each other. It always helps that they try to make each other better. Selina taught Bruce to be okay of being selfish of wanting to be happy, and Bruce believed there’s good in her that makes her feel she’s not a hopeless case, y’know? It’s even canon that in one universe, they’re married and have daughter, Helena Wayne. So... yeah? Happy end! (Until they died but that’s non issue here at the moment.) 

Then Tom King (Urgh, him again) wrote Bat proposing to Cat, and by the time they’re about to be married. Selina left him at the altar. 

So yeah. 

But then they get metaphysically? Figuratively? married after the Flashpoint which they turn Thomas Wayne into a villain (At least make him from alternate universe instead of timeline!!!) and kill Alfred (WhYYYYYY?! Bruce suffered enough why do you go kill both his fathers dammit!!! Let the goddamn butler rest in peace). And basically Selina and Bruce promise each other forever. Which is sweet. BatCat Forever, am I right??? 

Yeah, here’s the problem. (And I’m just nitpicking here, okay). For all Tom King’s character assassination of Bruce, he did Selina right in one thing. Which is the fact she doesn’t like being tied down by anything.

If Talia puts importance in power. Selina puts importance in freedom and her self-independence. 

I remember as a kid watching BTAS, that Selina didn’t want a relationship with batman if it meant changing who she is. So when Selina left the altar, I wasn’t surprise at the news. Then she actually agreed to marry him, only this time, she didn’t need a judge or a paper to make the marriage legit, y’know. And I thought, yeah that’s so her. 

But the thing is Bruce. Accepts. Her. Every. Single. Time. 

Without a single thought. She asked, “Do you still want to get married?” and he asked “When?” 

Even though it’s not the first that Cat leaves him hanging. 

Tell me he’s not a simp for that. 

It’s great that he accepts her for everything she is. But I’m conflicted because Selina stays static. She stays with the cat theme in the fact she doesn’t want to held back by anything. She takes what she wants. She loves who she loves. And no one was gonna change her. But then where’s the character growth? 

Is it regressive of me to think Selina should be ‘tied down’ or express commitment when she never has been tied down before even though she loves Bruce? 

Is it not-feminist of me to think Selina has to change herself for a man? 

I just don’t like the fact Bruce and Selina enables their masked persona. Their relationship is strongly base on their cat-and-mouse chase. They nicknamed each other “Bat” and “Cat” for God’s sake. Even though yes, it’s canon that “Batman” and “Catwoman” is their real selves and their civilian life is their masks. Heck, she didn’t go for the altar because she believed (though manipulated) that making Bruce happy would make Batman insufficient, or losing him entirely (Thank Tom King for that). 

That would be true, and stay true if not for one thing. Which is some thing what Bruce has that Selina doesn’t: 

The Batfam.

Bruce’s real identity isn’t just the Batman anymore. He has to be a single father with growing children he never plan to adopt but did anyway because they needed each other. He can’t use his batman persona to be a father at his house, but he will when training them to be his partner. His family became the strength to Bruce’s fight for Justice. 

Bruce is the Batman, but he’s not everything who he is. Selina is supposed to be part of the batfamily yet sadly, I haven’t read or watch anything that has her interact with them in a positive way or actually bond with them. Heck, when Alfred inform the proposal to the batfam they were shocked and thought it was a bad idea even (And they’ve known her for almost half their life by the way.) 

The fact that Tom King implied Bruce was never happy or wasn’t happy enough without marrying Cat when his Batfam should be the source of his pride and joy?! Apparently family means nothing to Batman. Woah DC, what a great message you’re sending here. 

I guess that’s why, I was a bit iffy when Selina “marriage” with Bruce isn’t official. Because she commits to the man but she doesn’t say she’ll commit to the family (though I suppose it could be imply or I just forget stuff). The batkids are grown up enough that they don’t really need a maternal figure, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need more emotionally available people in the family. And that I haven’t seen much of her taking effort to bond with the people that’s the most important to Bruce. 

It just makes her want to commit to Batman instead of Bruce Wayne, in my eyes I guess. 

So yeah, that’s why Wonderbat and Superbat makes more sense to me. Because they’ll make an effort to be THERE for the family and they’ll be just generally be a healthier relationships because, again, emotionally available so they might talk when they have a problem instead of running off the altar when you think a Happy Batman is Bad Batman. But no, DC have to make Bruce is a simp and his life edgy. 

Anyway, I might be wrong in some things because, you know. Canon becomes a blur to me after a while. 

#batcat #batfam #batfamily #batman #bruce wayne #talia al ghul #andrea beaumont #bruce wayne is a simp #rant #rant post #word vomit #superbat #wonderbat #dc comics #headcanon #selina kyle #catwoman #tom king #fuck tom king #tom king rant

[kaemulti]

DC SUPERHERO GIRLS HEADCANNONS

i’m gonna start writing headcannons whenever i get sad/anxious for a number of different fandoms. it takes my mind off things, even if only for a little bit. this time it’s gonna be about dcshg 2019. i’m honestly obsessed with thinking about the mundane teenager things we don’t see in the show that all the superhero/villian kids go through so i wanted to write some stuff about that.

•karen is actually more popular than she realizes, people think she’s sweet even though they rarely see her/don’t have classes with her

•leslie and dorris are a thing to everyone BUT themselves; they hilariously don’t even realize they’ve basically been dating for years: carpooling together, hanging out before and after school, bullying kids like a tag team, skipping classes together, movie nights, shorting out the exercise machines at the mall to make that misogynistic jerk at the fitness store scared, buying their favorite snacks for each other without thinking much of it, etc.

•barbi not only hates diana with a burning passion but ALSO tatsu because both girls excel in both their academic and physical education classes, unintentionally surpassing barbie by a long shot whenever the opportunity presents itself

•jessica and hal hang out at sweet justice after their week day training classes and even invite barry when he has the day off

•kara is completely oblivious to the fact there are a bunch of girls crushing on her at school, she keeps wondering why they whisper about her and never make direct eye contact with her as she walks through the hallways. she only finds out what is actually going on when she opens her locker on valentine’s day and gets COVERED in cards. she doesn’t tell most of her friends about it (she knows they’ll just be annoying) but she does vaguely ask jess about how to write people back, turning them down nicely and whatnot, she’s not a monster for gods sake, she’s just not ready for a relationship.

•babs and diana like to study together the most even though barbra never really pays attention, she mostly talks about different batman articles and comics she read and new gadgets she’s created but diana doesn’t mind TOO much because she has an growing interest in modern day ‘world of man’ technology

•diana can NOT sing to save her life. the girls thought that having a karaoke night would be fun sure, but nothing would’ve prepared them for the laughing fits they had when diana started screeching into the mic. They also find out that Babs is always off pitch and Jessica refuses to sing in front of people. alternatively, however, zee, kara and karen (in that order) are the best singers in the group.

•zee keeps inviting kara to these crazy expensive-super long wait list restaurants even though she knows kara probably won’t eat any of the food. she doesn’t really know why she keeps doing it, especially after the whole giant tentacle incident, but she does know she enjoys kara’s funny comments and cute laugh enough to continue.

•when selina first saw diana she might of had a tiny sexuality crisis, no she won’t elaborate.

•tatsu helps garth work on his confidence and he helps her with her HUGE slight fear of open water. even though they don’t know the other is super, they still help each other as much as they can. tatsu will train garth to do some basic defense techniques against bullies and they’ll go swimming every other week, garth always making sure to keep as much water as he can away from tatsu’s eyes and nose.

•kara and barry like to race each other whenever they get a chance to go to the pier. kara always cheats so she never loses but barry doesn’t mind because he’s her friend and it makes them laugh.

•steve is actually really good at embroidery, his mom taught him when he was younger. he once made a wonder woman shirt for diana and when he gave it to her, she fainted.....twice.

•pam is allergic to three different types of flowers but she still nurtures them in her garden at home whenever she can. if her allergies get really bad though, she’ll ask jess to help her water them, ONLY because she needs to keep her precious flowers alive, NOT because she is actually jess’ friend...she thinks.

•the first time carol met barbie they both got into detention for loudly insulting each other’s fashion sense in the middle of math class. (they still haven’t apologized to each other so they keep acting like it didn’t happen because they both think they’re right)

•the first time harleen called pam “green bean”, pam blushed and giggled...like FULL blown diana talking to steve giggle. and then she pushed harleen off a bridge with a vine on accident. harleen thought it was the funniest thing ever and pam could only awkwardly apologize for almost killing her teammate

•oliver and zee tried to co-write a christmas play but they were so busy fighting each other on who had a better ending they didn’t actually order any props or costumes for it. leaving the main actress to perform in a pirate outfit.

•kara still hangs out with bizarro super girl every now and again and they take turns ranting about their idiot cousins, it’s all light hearted because kara still has some emotional stuff to work through.

•diana unintentionally starts a “who will come out next” contest when she asks the girls about same sex attraction. she had seen leslie and dorris making out in one of the locker rooms (yes they FINALLY got together together) and asked her friends what it meant. after a lot of confusion as kara stumbled over her explanation of the lgbtq+ community, she ends up coming out as a lesbian first, followed by babs, who is bisexual, karen, who is questioning but absolutely had a crush on kara before their food fight detention day, and zee who is trans. they end up going to metropolis pride two months after that.

•diana is still convinced there is an oracle at the pier so every other sunday the girls go so she can spend all of her money on “knowing the future”

•babs never really gets angry on the daily and the rest of the girls learn why when some jerk at sweet justice insults jess’ looks because she wouldn’t go out with him. barbra turned bright red as she let him have it, words coming out of her mouth faster than barry can make their ice cream (they didn’t think she had it in her). and if he he ended up glued to his bed the next day, well, jess will let batgirl get away with that one JUST this once. barbra will NEVER not stick up for her friends.

•kara and babs often have multiple sleepovers a week, harleen even joins them sometimes when kara doesn’t mind her LOUD presence.

•the girls never get mad at one another when someone breaks down or blows up after holding certain feelings in for too long. whether it’s kara ghosting them for days leading up to her mom’s birthday, diana overworking herself to the point of exhaustion when she gets homesick, karen refusing to go out to anywhere except for school and tough missions for weeks at a time because she thinks she doesn’t matter, zee reading too many spells at once and giving herself an awful migraine after messing up an easy one, jessica isolating herself at lunch so she can sit in the library alone and cry to herself quietly after a hard day of training, or babs not being her normal happy self after having a heated argument with harleen, there will ALWAYS be a shoulder to cry on when someone needs it. If that comes in the form a knock on kara’s door as her friends invite themselves in with her favorite foods and a mega ‘feel better soon’ music playlist in tow, an impromptu destress retreat that they force diana to go on where she is only allowed to use a weapon if there is a direct threat, making a giant list of all the things they love about karen and reading it to her from outside her window, someone closing zee’s spell book and holding her tightly as her eyes turn back to normal from flaring pink with anger, all the girls quietly sitting with jessica one by one in the library and gently holding her hand as she lets out what she can, or buying limited edition comics and leaving them as presents for babs in her section of the hideout, there is ALWAYS someone there to make it hurt a little less.

the end :))

#tatsu yamashiro #dcshg19 #dc super hero girls 2019 #dc superhero girls #kara danvers #kara zor el #diana prince #barbara gordon #jessica cruz #karen beecher #zee zatara #super girl #wonder woman #green lantern #bat girl #bumble bee #zatanna #DCSHG #DCSHG19 #giganta #livewire #cat woman #harley quinn #star sapphire #poison ivy #invincabros #the flash

[hawaiian-has-moved]

you aren’t cannon. beetlebabes is more cannon than you. at least that shit was in the musical and movie and cartoon.

Need I remind you idiots, since I have already said I'm no longer being nice to you anymore.

That I do not give a damn what you think it looked like to you in that fucked up brain of yours, it's still p*dophilia. Man it's almost sad I live this rent free in your head for existing. I just exist and your blood boils. It's cute.

Anyway, Lydia is a minor in every version.

And if you think the wedding in the movie was romantic. Man every gross man I've cringed at for being a creepo must have been true love.

But see, that's the thing you people don't get huh? Consent. Consent does not exist to you. If it did you wouldn't fight when people say that Lydia is a minor and therefore cannot consent. It doesn't click because you found something hot about shipping this developing teen with this old as fuck perv.

But oh? Is that not enough for you, you cry, begging to justify your vile ship. Allow me to humor you and go through the other versions.

In fact! I'll analyze a whole song just for you.

Also please look at yet another picture of Lydia obviously not having it.

Way back when I was just ten

Simple and sweet

Everywhere, fellas would stare

Out on the street

And I felt used

Kinda confused

I would refuse to look in their eyes

But now I really love creepy old guys

This is kinda obvious, she's been preyed on before by men. So basic p*do trying to gr**m a kid scenario. But the satire to the song of course is that "it's all fine now" Which it's obviously not, she's just using this to trick him so they can send him back as an end goal.

We all do!

Gum disease

Skin like grilled cheese

Saggy old asses

(Saggy old asses)

Cute and vile

Hey baby, smile

To each girl that passes

They make me blush

(Can't get enough)

Now one of 'em loves me, wants to be mine

(That's right)

Marrying my own creepy old guy!

(I'm a creepy old guy)

This is just more playing out the satire of pretending it's okay, but with Beej chiming in because he already lacks the knowledge that this is grooming and it's not okay. Tricking him into thinking this is fine to end up killing him is a breeze.

My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy

I'm so happy I could cry

Girls may seem disgusted, but we're actually just shy

It's not uncommon that I've heard about or heard someone get told that they're just shy when a gross ass old man or someone is trying to gr**m a kid. It's gaslighting and manipulation in most cases. So for them to say that it's because they're actually just shy as part of the satire is the point.

My creepy old groom (creepy old groom)

Play that wedding tune

Hey folks, step aside

(I am older, but I'm glad I waited)

And if you've watched a bootleg, you would recall Barbara right here smiling and then turning away with eyes wide, like "this is not fucking okay" Kind of look on her face. But yeah this is another one of those phrases that you hear too often in these gross situations.

'Cause here comes the bride

I am marrying my creepy old guy

(Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy)

He's my creepy old guy

(Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy!)

Fix his hair

Get him prepared

For Armageddon

Again if you have seen a bootleg, here Lydia puts a finger to her lips and goes shhhh. Because Armageddon is Beejs death.

Sure, the groom

Crawled out of a tomb

But hey, hey, it's a wedding!

He's really fucking old guys. There is a huge age gap and this is p*dophilia.

So dim the lights

Pick up some rice

Say something nice

It's my day to shine

I'm getting hitched to my creepy old guy

(It's showtime)

Creepy old guy, creepy old guy

She's marrying a creepy old guy

Have you guys seen "Lolita"?

This is just like that, but fine

I have not seen Lolita, but I have been told it's similar to this who marriage scenario and is mega bad. Now if it were Lolita fashion, that is made to ward off men, so I assume it's a movie from what info I have.

Creepy old dude, creepy old dude

Our faith has been renewed

Now love is alive!

Wave your baby girl goodbye

I am walking down the aisle

I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by

I know that on the outside he's disgusting

And even on the inside, he's disgusting

This whole scenario is fucking vile. He's vile.

But I know that this time, I'm makin' it right

(Making it right, making it right!)

With my family by my side

O.M.G.

Dressed to a "T"

Fancy and formal

I found me a wife

L'chaim to life

This is so normal!

I was ignored

But now, I'm adored!

'Cause I extorted, tortured, and lied

Give it up for my underage bride!

They've done it, they have successfully tricked him into thinking this is okay with no funny business. But he's about to get stabbed. L'chaim to life is a nod at him being Jewish, also he had a Kippah in the DC version which backed this joke, but it fell off a lot ig so he doesn't have it now. Traditionally there was a lot of marrying women off to much older men for property and stuff, as most religions do/did tho. I was in a production of Fiddler on the roof for example and that was the whole premise.

Here comes the bride

Here comes the bride

God be glorified

I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright

My creepy old guy

My creepy old guy

Doesn't he deserve a chance at life?

Oh yeah, that's right

Yeah, that's right

So let's make him alive!

I am marrying my creepy old guy!

Guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy

Guy, guy, creepy old guy

Guy, guy

(I have chills)

Yeah!

And then they stab him and the till death do we part sign over the stage all makes sense now because the wedding vows are undone and since he's recently deceased he almost returns to the netherworld.

Etcetera etcetera... But of course you guys go tome deaf at that one when it plays if I remember right.

Oh right, the cartoon, of course, I knew just what you were thinking don't worry. You're thinking "oh well what about the comics, and the valentine cards! And and the animators who drew lewd stuff of Lydia!" Well.... Haha! Still p*dophilia! And also I have seen the infamous Lydia drawing and it's got her head shape, nose, lips, but it's not fully her. Even if it was again my first point, still p*dophilia. And yeah just because the people who worked on it drew it, doesn't make it suddenly okay. Ffs...

I couldn't even find a cartoon wedding that wasn't fan drawn to match this one. Because that doesn't exist! But I do have my favorite point to make.

Beetlejuice's look into Lydia's future in Pest O' the West.

Now why you b*bes were busy being p*dos and gr**ming kids on the internet into thinking this shit is okay, I was mastering the art of common fucking sense.

Beej makes a joking remark that he cannot see into the future while hiding from Bully the Crud, but when he does as per usual, his puns and phrases make his magic go to work. So a crystal ball appears in front of him showing the future in the images I've provided.

Lydia, doing a heaping pile of dishes as a ghost for bully and all of their kids, very unhappy and driven insane. Because imagine what being married to someone it's obviously wrong to be with would do to her mind. He hates seeing her like this, so he rushes to save her. Which he successfully does.

Toon is actually the one with canon evidence of this shit being not okay to him.

Also before anyone tries to say it, no the movie and cartoon aren't connected, she doesn't even live in Winter River in the cartoon that should have made it obvious. Besides she's like 14-16 in the movie. So I don't think she de-aged.

Lastly, two things that are off topic. I believe it's spelled canon, and before anyone goes saying fiction doesn't effect reality, I would like you to explain to me how being a Jedi is a official religion if that is so true.

See anon! I gave you my special, condescending talk that too two hours to type on my phone! You stalked me endlessly and I picked you as the special anon that, I didn't deletes ask for being a gross piece of shit in a minors ask box! Wow. That searching my name clicking on my asks, and typing out all that so I could live rent free in your head really.... Didn't work lol. I may have took two hours to type this, but I assure you I will forget about you in 2 days max. Because unlike you, I have better things to do than ship a minor with an ancient demon. Bye bye now, be sure to rant about me with pure rage to your house p*do friends so that my existence may spread further into other people's minds! Woo... Being famous is so tough. 😉

#bjrambles #ship discourse #discourse

[weirdestbooks]

Secret States Chapter 11

More Than You Know (It Was The Thirteen Colonies After All)

America POV

I continued to cry as I though back to that war. I hated it. The feeling of being ripped apart, the South leaving, and all of the fighting. I hated how my army had to be so aggressive towards the South, towards my kids. I hated how Confederacy tried to build a nation on slavery. I hated it all.

And the Civil War was my fault. I should've been better, I should've known better. Everything that  happened was my fault. I didn't deserve to be forgiven for the Civil War. I didn't deserve to be forgiven for a lot of things.

I didn't understand why Maman was here comforting me. I shouldn't be showing this kind of emotion to her anyways. She doesn't have to worry about me. I have to take care of myself. I can't accept help from others. I can do it by myself. Maman began running her hand through my hair.

"You're okay Ame." She said. That just made me cry harder. I was...I was fine. I was fine. I didn't need help I could do things on my own. My eyes started slipping closed again. I tried to keep them open. I had slept. I didn't need to now. I had to go back to my work. I didn't need sleep. I had to make up for my mistakes, I had to keep my government from making another mistake.

I didn't want to mess up my family anymore. Everything bad that's happened to my kids since they became a part of my family was all my fault. I need to be better. I can't take breaks for my sake. I'm not important. They are.

"Ame, go back to sleep mon fils." Maman said, continuing to run her hand through my hair. Why did Maman care about me so much? I didn't deserve it, not after all the ways I've messed up.

I tried to stay awake, but my exhaustion from earlier was overwhelming me. Crying had only amplified that exhaustion, and Maman's hand running through my hair felt so relaxing. I felt my eyes flutter close as I began slipping off into sleep.

I was fine. I didn't need anyone to take care of me. I could do that myself.

—————————————————

Britain POV

"So, um, how does Ame manage to take care of all you?" New Zealnd asked as we watched Florida chasing a flaming California with a panther and an alligator. Something tells me that kid's like Australia.

"I help him, along with Vermont and the Thirteen. So it's not one person taking care of fifty-eight, it's fourteen people taking care of fourty-two. Plus, not all the states are like Florida. Some of them can actually keep out of trouble. Maine and NASA do, and NATO also steers clear of major chaos. And obviously all of my independent siblings can take care of themselves." DC explained.

"We hope so at least. If they don't then that's their problem. Just like Florida is yours." An unfamiliar voice said from behind me.

"Jersey can't you be polite for once?" Another voice said. I turned around to see two new states. The first voice, a boy, had a flag that was buff colored, with a coat of arms on it. He was wearing jeans with a green shirt, and had a garden trowel in his dirt covered hands. I assumed he was Jersey.

The second voice was a girl, and her flag was three stripes consisting of red-white-red, featuring a blue canton containing a ring of 13 white stars encompassing a golden shape. She was wearing a peach colored sundress with sandals.

"Now why the fuck would I do that?" The boy said. The girl rolled her eyes before smiling and holding out her hand.

"Hello. I'm the State of Georgia, the Peach State." She-Georgia-said.

"And I'm the State of New Jersey, the Garden State." The boy said.

"Hello. It's good to meet you." I said. I was  a bit nervous. Not all of the states have liked me, or England, and I knew these states were part of the original thirteen, who so far didn't seem to like me.

"You fucking suck." New Jersey said. I sighed. I wasn't expecting anything different. I messed up a lot with America, so I makes sense that his kids wouldn't like me. Georgia smacked the back of his head.

"Jersey! Cut it out!" Georgia said. At least one of the original thirteen didn't seem to hate me. New Jersey scowled.

"Why should I? I'm still mad at him for a lot." New Jersey said. DC sighed.

"You two weren't even alive during the American Revolution." She said. New Jersey and Georgia exchanged looks.

"Sure...we weren't alive, but that doesn't mean I can't be mad at him!" New Jersey said. What did that mean? The way New Jersey said it made it sound like he knew something DC didn't.

"Jersey you're constantly mad at everyone." Georgia said, laughing slightly. New Jersey rolled his eyes.

"That's because everyone is an idiot. Most noticeably him." He said pointing at me. Scotland and Ireland began laughing, while North rolled his eyes and smiled. Brothers are great.

"I don't think I'm that much-" I tried to say before being cut off.

"Once Jersey tells you you're an idiot, you're an idiot. You don't get to argue or he'll put his trowel in your eye." DC said. New Jersey smiled.

"Florida! Beheef dich! Before I get Ohio!" I hear someone call. Was that German? Florida stopped and turned around, looking at the state that had just shown up.

"Come on Penny! Cali was being a dick. They deserved it!" Florida protested. The new state, Penny rolled her eyes.

"I don't care! Cali is cool. Chase West! I don't like him. And Ginny will back me up on that." Penny said. Cali flipped Florida the middle finger before they stormed off.

"Thanks Penny!" They said. Penny laughed.

"No problem. Er is weenich ad." She said.

"I don't know what that means but I think it's an insult, so hey." Florida said. Penny laughed before walking over to us.

"Gude Daag. Wie bischt du? Mei Naame is Pennsylvania." Penny said in what I believed was definitely German. Why did an American state know German? It makes sense for Louisiana to speak her French, after all, French Empire was her mother, but America had introduced us to all of his adopted kids. Why did he have a German state?

"English Penn. Nobody here speaks Pennsylvania German." New Jersey said, rolling his eyes. Penny rolled her eyes. Pennsylvania German? I'm guessing that's the German dialect she was speaking, but I recognized the name. Pennsylvania was one of the original colonies, an English colony. Why did she speak German, and have her own German dialect?

"Hello. My name is the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, the Keystone State." Pennsylvania said, confirming that she was one of the original states.

"Pennsylvania German?" Wales asked. Pennsylvania nodded.

"My state took in large amount of Germans immigrants before the Revolution. Actually, I had more German than English settlers. They continued to speak their language in my state until it eventually became Pennsilfaanisch Deitsch." She said, shrugging. I guess that makes sense. America was created by immigrants and immigration.

"Don't underestimate the influence that Germans have had in US  history and culture." Georgia said. I furrowed my eyebrows. I never really though about the influence countries other that France, Spain, and I, would have on America.

He was a country built off of immigration, so of course other countries would have an effect on him. I always knew that, but meeting the states has shown me how much of an influence they've actually had.

"Really?" North asked. The states nodded.

"Baron Von Stueban was a Prussian general who trained the Continental Army and Daed during the American Revolution. What he taught the American soldiers there formed the based for the US military training handbook." Pennsylvania explained.

"He was also gay, which is really cool." Georgia said. A gay German guy taught America how to professionally fight? That...definitely wasn't what I was expecting to hear, although America has always been full of surprises.

"A gay German guy taught America how to fight. That makes a lot of sense." Scotland said.

"Germans are cool. Aside from 1934 to 1945. They were not cool. Just assholes. But now that the fucker with the shitty mustache is dead, Germans are cool again. Most of the time. The only person I consider cool all the time is Scotland." New Jersey said.

"John Paul Jones?" DC asked. New Jersey nodded.

"Yep. Wish I had been born sooner. Like maybe when our states sighed the Articles of Confederation which allowed us to act more like countries but no, because the universe decided to wait until the fucking Constitution." New Jersey ranted, causing Pennsylvania and Georgia to laugh.

The Articles of Confederation. I felt like I had heard that term before, but I couldn't remember where. It sounded like a governmental document or something, which made me think it might of been important in America's government.

It must of also laid out how America was a union if the states, or at least New Jersey, expected to get a countryhuman after that document and not the US Constitution.

"You're still mad about that?" Georgia asked.

"Yes!"

"Oh speaking of the Articles, D, leave." Pennsylvania said. What? DC looked surprised.

"Excuse me?" She said.

"Leave. Take Northern Ireland, New Zealand, and Australia with you." Pennsylvania said, her voice stern. What? What were they planning? After all of them left it was just the states, Irel-oh. I see. The original states what to talk privately to the countries that were in charge during the Revolution.

"What?" Australia said.

"Why?" New Zealand asked. New Jersey rolled his eyes.

"We want to talk to the countries who were around when we were colonies. Privately. Go introduce Australia to Flor or something. We have business to wrap up." New Jersey said. DC looked suspicious, but ended up nodding.

"Wait why are we leaving?" North asked.

"Think about who will remain after you leave. The countries that made up the British Isles during the Revolution, and the original states." England said. Australia's eyes widened.

"Oh. So this is about the Revolution." Ireland said. The original states nodded. I felt a pit growing in my stomach. While America and I had mostly repaired our relationship, we avoid the Revolution. It was just to painful of a subject for us.

North, New Zealand, and Australia left, following DC towards a field were you could see other states working, and the panther Florida had running around.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Scotland asked. New Jersey smirked.

"Before New York's eyes became black, they used to be a yellow-goldish color." He said. I furrowed my brows in confusion. Why did New Jersey say that? Why did the original states make them leave only to tell us this?

"What?" Wales asked. Georgia smiled.

"Think hard. To before the Revolution. 1767." She said. I was still confused, until I remembered an old memory. When I told America about the New York Restraining Act. His eyes changed to a yellow-goldish color. He also felt different, like he was a different person. I had a bad feeling.

"When I told America about the New York Restraining Act..." I started, watching the realization appear in my brother's eyes. Pennsylvania nodded.

"That was New York. He didn't like you taking power away from his assembly. Georgia, Del, and Mary were able to pull him back before he took control." Pennsylvania said. I was shocked. The states, the original ones at least were around in 1767? They were a part of America?

I mean, I knew they had always been a part of America, but I didn't realize that they had...existed before they became countryhumans. I didn't even know that could happen. But how?

"You were there?" England asked. Georgia smiled and tilted her head.

"We've always been around. Dad was the Thirteen Colonies after all. Didn't you think it was odd that thirteen colonies had one countryhumans?" She said.

"I...I always did. But...I...I...just assumed it was because it was one connected land area." Ireland said, stuttering slightly. I had assumed the same.

"First. Dad doesn't know what we are about to explain to you. So you have to promise to keep it a secret. Please. I don't normally beg for things, but this has to remain a secret. Please." New Jersey said. A bad feeling was growing. I wasn't sure if I would like it.

"I promise." England said without hesitation. Of course he wouldn't hesitate. He was already used to keeping big things a secret from his family. As much as I could understand his reasoning for keeping whatever happen in 1860s a secret, it still hurt.

Whatever happened hurt America, badly. I have seen America during the Burning of Washington, at his low points during the Revolution, 9/11, and his triumphs he won through the suffering and death of his people.

I've never seen him look so horrified, so terrified, seen that kind of raw fear in his eyes. Whatever happened terrified him beyond anything I had ever seen. And England knew, he kept it a secret, even before America dangled reconciliation as an incentive to keep secret.

I wanted to help my son, but he didn't want my help. He didn't seem to want anyone's help. He was pushing himself to the brink of exhaustion, of his health, and continued to insist he was fine. What had happened to my son after he became free?

"I promise as well." I said, as the statement was echoed by Ireland, Scotland, and Wales. I didn't know what exactly I was going to learn, but I wanted to help my son, I was going to help him. I spent to much time fighting with him. We had begun the process of fixing our relationship. Now we needed to finish fixing it, so my son knew that he could trust me with his personal life.

So we could finally have the relationship we lost so long ago.

"There may have been one countryhuman for the thirteen colonies, but there were thirteen colonies within that one countryhumans. We...well we were kind of like voices in Dad's head ever since our colonies were set up. Dad never realized, always though we were his thoughts." Georgia began.

"It wasn't until after the French and Indian War, when the unrest began between the thirteen colonies began, that we began to have a more physical affect on Daed. When ever we became passionate about a topic, Daed would get headaches, and New York, after he learned of the New York Restraining Act, realized that we could force ourselves into control over his body." Pennsylvania continued.

"The only one of us ever actually got control was Mass, but it wasn't full. He shared control with Dad at Lexington and Concord, and at Breed's Hill. And even after well all became states, the territories all briefly had a stay in Dad's head. Most of 'em became states. Some got split into different territories. Unorganized territory, according to my siblings that knew him was a nice person, a peacemaker. He always knew he was going to die. So he tried to keep peace. I wish he had been given statehood. Okie, Oklahoma, went from being Indian Territory to being a state." New Jersey said.

That was...a lot. The states had been...sharing a body with America. I though it was some sort of rebel group that was creating a new countryhuman, that one incident with New York. Instead it was one of the colonies that kept America together, a colony that was done with my acts before America was.

No wonder the some of the original states hated me. The Revolution, and everything that lead up to it wasn't just something they learned about after they were born. They had lived through it, through the Revolution. And they lived it through America's body.

No wonder they hated me. I still haven't forgiven myself for that...incident in New York either.

"Did all of the states go through this?" Scotland asked. Georgia shook her head.

"Florida, Louisiana, Alaska, Hawaii, Texas, Vermont, and California all were countryhumans before they joined the US, so that never happened to them. And the current territories, Guam, Mariana, V, Sam, and Rico all had countryhumans before, so they have their own bodies instead of being a spirit sharing Dad's body. The Dakotas also never went through it, because the Dakota territory was split up when they became states." Georgia explained.

"DC also doesn't know because she was carved out of a state, and never existed beforehand. Same with Maine and West Virginia." Pennsylvania added.

"I...this...is a lot to take in." Ireland said.

"Is there any other countryhumans that are sharing a body with America? At this moment." I asked. The states shook their heads.

"Not as far as we know." New Jersey answered.

"And America doesn't know about this? Any of this?" Wales asked. Georgia laughed.

"Surprisingly, no. And we rather not tell him. Dad second guesses himself enough. If we told him, he'd go back and second guess everything he's done, wondering if it was serially the best choice or just him being influenced by us." She explained.

"Yeah. Dad may not show it, but he's gets anxious over everything. He tries to do the best he can, but he constantly gets told that he's not doing enough, or that he's doing too much. Regardless of what he does, he receives heavy criticism. He's lost a lot of faith in his choices because of that. He's convinced that not matter what he does, he'll never make good decision." New Jersey added.

Well now I felt worse. America had always seemed so confident, and unshakable. Now I was finding out that he was barley taking care of himself, second guessed everything he did, was hiding some sort of extreme trauma, all while trying to raise children.

Even though we only became a family again in 1945, I thought I had learned everything about how my son changed. Now it was like meeting him again during World War 1. He had changed so much and was like a stranger to me. I thought I knew everything important about him again.

But now I see that stranger.

Did I really even know who my son was?

#secret states by weird #weird’s wattpad stories #countryhumans #statehumans #writing

[moonlightkitkat]

ML:NYS reaction

Here’s my set of reactions from when I was watching the special, I wrote it all while I was watching. It’s a little scatterbrained lol

The opening is so pretty!

MR. PIGEON AGAIN? 

COSMO BUG AND ASTRO BUG?!

AWWW THE YELLOW ROSE THAT'S SO CUTE!

THAT'S SO CUTE! 

Oh this interaction is adorable! The wholesomeness!

YES GIVE YOURSELF FLOWERS.

But oh my god I had to pause because this is what I love! Chat can show affection and care about her, but I love how he’s taking her feelings into the gift he brings. He knows that she doesn’t want anything with romantic connotations because it’s leading him on, so instead he offers a rose of friendship, a truce. And I love how after hearing this, Ladybug immediately warms up and accepts, thanking him and offering kind words as well. I’m two minutes in and I already love this. 

Also the animation is so pretty!!

Oh Marinette no.. not the photos.. not the excuses.. ;-;

Yes Tikki hold her accountable!

HAMILTON BUT WITH SOCK PUPPETS???

NO CHLOE WHAT?! 

Oh thank god I wanted my Chloe here

NO BUSTIER YES

SHE'S PREGNANT?! Oh that poor baby

EW LILA’S HERE

No no no no no no n no no no no Marinette please stop, please oh my god I’m dying on the inside

YOU'RE OUR SOCK WASHINGTON

EVERYDAY LADYBUG AND SOCK WASHINGTON IS BEST SHIP

Oh my god she put his perfume on her pillow? Why? Why have her do this.

LAFAYETTE

HE WAS A MIRACULOUS USER WHAT

Oh my god she pulled a Twilight Sparkle and ranted about the power of friendship

DID HE JUST SIT THROUGH HER RANT

Oh I know he’s lying but oh that’s such a sweet thing to say.

Gabriel why are you a JERK

KAGAMI

AWWW SMOOCH

That’s so cute! I love that!

NO THE SINGING

Marinette no ;-;

THE KITTY ALARM AWWW

THAT'S SO CUTE

OH THATS FIC MATERIAL RIGHT THERE

“I’m as serious as it can get.” *squeak*, giggles. That’s adorable

OH NO GORILLA HAS A FEAR OF FLYING

PLAGG

THE WIGGLY PAWS

I-I’m actually shocked that Ladybug didn’t think of that

 That’s pretty smart Adrien.

I’m still creeped out by the Snow White like case Emilie is in

LUKA LUKA LUKA LUKA LUKAAAAAA

Oh no she’s ranting about Adrien I’m crying 

HIS SMILE AT HER

AWWW SWEETHEART

A SMOOCH

Oh this is definitely fic material

Oh Marinette does not look happy about seeing Adrien 

Chloe’s arrival is amazing 

THE HORROR MOVIE SCREAM 

Alya what the heck

Oh god Marinette no

Oh my hands are crInging-NO HE FELL ON HER

ALYA WHY

Okay that art is adorable but Marinette looks terrified

Wooowwww the manipulation there lol, nice job class

Oh thank goodness, 

“YOU ARE A DOLPHIN”

Oh poor Marinette

Ivan and Mylene are cuddling!

Wow Marinette is tiny

Awww DjWifi snuggles

JULROSE

wait why didn’t Mari sit with Rose?

Oh poor Marinette ;-;

Bro she’s physically uncomfortable, why would you move closer?

Oh that’s so cute-nevermind

Same Alya

Same Nino

They’re adorable but I hate this

NO THE HUG

SHE'S SO UNCOMFORTABLE WHY WOULD YOU HUG HER

I’m sorry WHAT

captain Marvel??

Alya is such a nerd I love her

A BOMB?!

Wair, do actual superheroes exist in this universe? Why hasn’t anyone shown up to help Paris??

KS THAT A PEPSI BRAND BUS

wow the cat based pun

“Lil croissants on route,” that’s CUTE

NO HER STUFF

Oh it was just puppets

OH SHE'S PRETTY

Jess, yes I like her

Is she an actual AI?

SABRINA AWWW

Oh poor Sabrina ;-;

Nice reflexes 

Oh no

THE CARTOON SLOW HEAD TURN 

Oh now this is adorable, I like the soft music playing in the background 

EW HE SNUCK TO HER ROOM 

Hot dog Dan?

IS THAT A SUPERHERO?!

STRONG ROSE

Rapunzel Sabrina???

Aww that's cute 

They’re flying!

HIGH VOICE

THATS HILARIOUS

This is really really cute, but.... aren’t Adrien and Kagami together?

Oh this is such a cute dance

“BEAUTIFUL SUNFLOWER”

Oh Marinette no....

“Repetitive behaviors,” is that a joke about how they never change?

Adrie is definitely in love, but isn’t he with, you know, KAGAMI?!

What on earth is with Jess’s eyebrows?

Wait, I'm sorry are they sending supervillains to trap them in??

Hawkmoth is wearing a seatbelt, that’s hilarious

Did.. did he seriously offer the atomic bomb

Ohhh a hologram

Oh that’s a cool supervillain 

THE POSE SCREEN FOR THE DOOR GUY IM WHEEZING 

HES TRANSFORMING TO SAVE MARI

Did you ... need to transform though? You could have just pushed her out of the way

Theyre so DUMB

Batman? Nope, just Hawkmoth

Oh Ladybug is MAD. Rightfully so though

Oh yes tell him off

Wait, they’ve heard of Ladybug and Chat Noir. Why hasn’t anyone come to help them?

CHAR NOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOO

NO OH MY GOD HE KILLED HER

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY FOD

CHAT KILLED SOMEONE

YES LADYBUG 

Oh my god she can actually bring people back to life

Ooooo chase scene

Teenage mutant super teens

Oh my god that’s terrifying for what happened to Paris

We are learning a lot about Ladybugs Powers, I’m loving this

HE LEFT HER

CHAT NOIR NO

HE HAS TWO MIRACULOUS NOW?!

A BALD EAGLE FOR FREEDOM 

CAN IT GET MORE AMERICAN

OH THE HAWK PERSON IS A WOMAN

Oh those two are lesbi-OH THEY'RE ACTUALLY LESBIANS

....Wow Zag is having fun with her cleavage AREN'T they?

Oh Marinno ;-;

WHAT THE HECK IS HAWKMOTH DOING

oh this is so sad

I’m getting umbrella scene flashbacks

THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS ALYA

And Marinette being a thief has come back into

MARINETTE

WHY IS THIS SO SAD WHY IS SHE CRYING IN THE STREETS

Why are her boobs so BIG

Is this just proof of how dangerous the DC superheroes are?

Wait these three heroes really are just Superman, Batman, Captain America aren’t they? 

I love the AI’s hair so much, it’s so pretty

Wow Jess was won over so quickly

JESS HAS A SKATEBOARD TO TRAGEL WOW I LOVE IT

THE MOON??

All powerful magic? Useless against a simple AI

Wow he was won over quickly.. is he just really impulsive? That’s.. really not the best quality in a superhero who has the power to destroy whatever he touches.

Plagg that’s TOO CUTE

Wow I am So impressed by Jess

Awww hug

She forgave him a little too easily 

HE THREATENED A WORLD WAR?

AND PEOPLE STILL DEFEND GABRIEL?

THIS MAN IS A CHILD ABUSER, A TERRORIST, AND NOW A WAR CRIMINAL?!

He lost his TAIL

Sparrow is transforming into an Eagle I love this

Ooooooooooooo I love her use of the power

Wow he legitimately s-YES ATTA GIRL

h-how did that reach the sun so fast

I thought Chat hit the guy and not the cuffs and I had a heart attack

You’ve known her for less than a day and you trust her with a miraculous?? Wait, they know all about the miraculous?? But how?

Also I’m really happy that we have an ingenious superhero! I’m really happy that her costume isn’t sexual used, and isn’t a LEOTARD

I’m really curious about what actual ingenious people think about her as a character and her uniform

Wait, she has dreamcatchers for earrings?

Why is she looking so buff in that suit

Oh? Is this a teaser for the Shanghai episode?

BATWINGS

Oh that’s such a cute little banner for Adrien

SABRINA YOU'RE A SWEETHEART

“BIG PUFFY CLOUD”

WAIT THEY LEFT GORILLA NO

OH YES MORE GUARDIANS 

That is a very underwhelming entrance and speech. Talk about rushed how did he say that with one BREATH

HE WAS SWAYED THAT EASILY?

#ml salt #ml spoilers #ml new york #ml ny spoilers #miraculous ladybug review #miraculous ladybug #ladybug reactions