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cyberphuck · 1 year

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Assassin’s Apprentice Abridged: Part One

EDIT: Tumblr randomly swallowed like 500 words in the middle of this, so I've added that back in.

I am finally embarking on my long-threatened project to summarize all of the Farseer Trilogy for my friend Razz so they can understand my shitposts about it but don’t actually have to read it. I started with this post about the cast of characters in the first book.

This is being broken up into sections because the trilogy and AA in particular (as well as Royal Assassin... whew, that one’s gonna be hard) is so insanely long and complex.

And now, Ladies and Gentlequeers, AA Abridged: Part One.

We open on the narrator musing both about writing a history of the Six Duchies (but being unable to because every time he tries it turns into a salty rant about everything bad that's ever happened to him) and also about how very old and decrepit he is. He is hunched over his writing desk, his fingers gnarled and knuckly, literally crumbling away like a Thanos-snapped MCU character as he sorrowfully attempts to make some record of the long and storied life he's lived before he lapses into the sweet void of death.

Fitz is 35.

"I bet you're wondering how I got here," Fitz writes. "It all began when I was born. Neither of my parents bothered to show up."

Actually, the curtain opens on Fitz as a six year old, being hauled up to the front doors of a fort by a cranky older man. "Surely you must have memories of your childhood before six," someone in the audience asks, but Fitz replies "No, I definitely don't, I never did and I'm tired of you asking me that." It never really becomes super important what he was doing before he was six, unless you count the time where he was traveling from the King-In-Waiting's ballsack to the sweet hot vagina of Some Lady He Never Spoke To Again.

Fitz is scooped up and brought inside the fort, and presented to Prince Verity. You'd think Verity would be at least a little upset that his older brother has muddied the line of succession with his long-ago nut, but Verity acts as if Fitz's existence is the funniest thing he's ever seen. "Yep, looks just like him," Verity confirms, then instructs a soldier to bring Fitz to Burrich.

That's right, the cranky old man hammers on the front door, waits for someone to open it, says "this is Prince Chivalry's kid and I'm tired of dealing with him," and then walks off. Despite this, Fitz never develops any abandonment issues and only has healthy and honest relationships with people for the rest of his life.

"Those are all the memories I have of that fort," Fitz writes, "except for that one night that Prince Verity, Burrich, and Prince Regal stood and looked in on me in the stall and Regal complained that I was muddying the line of succession."

Burrich does not think this situation is as funny as Verity did.

But he's honest and loyal, so he sighs and says "C'mon, Lil Accident, I'll find a place for you to sleep." That place is in a horse stall with Vixen, the hound dog, and Nosy, her pup. Burrich looks down at all of them, mutters "Patience is gonna have a fucking aneurysm" and then walks off.

After a couple of weeks, Burrich puts Lil Accident on a horse behind him and they ride away from Moonseye and towards Buckkeep. During this time, offstage, Fitz's father Chivalry gets word of his appearance and does the only sensible and logical thing, which is to ollie out the window while flipping everyone off and yelling "GOOD LUCK FIGURING THIS ONE OUT, LOSERS!" He abdicates and retires to a farm with his weirdo wife, which pisses off basically everyone.

Burrich and Fitz arrive at Buckkeep, the capital of the Six Duchies, a tall castle on a hill overlooking the ocean. Burrich is the stablemaster, in charge of all the critters large and small at the keep. He'd also been Chivalry's right hand man until he'd jumped in front of a boar to keep it from killing the Prince and fucked up his leg. Burrich comes home to Buckkeep with a bad leg and a six year old bastard to find that his bestie has just fucking peaced out without saying anything to him. He's kind of having a bad day. He hands Fitz off to stableboy Cobb, who leads him and pup Nosy to the kitchens to get something to eat.

Cobb sits FItz-and-Nosy just outside the kitchens and goes inside for delicious pie. A burly man walks by Fitz, does a double-take, then points and yells, "Hey everyone! It's Chivalry's Bastard!"

Fitz shrinks down.

"I heard you don't even have a name!" Burly man hollers, then gets right up in Fitz's face. "Is that true, tiny and defenseless six year old boy that I'm accosting? You don't have a name?"

Fitz yells "NOOOOOO" and, like a tiny, dirty Jedi master, force-shoves the man onto his ass. The crowd, assuming that the dude was just a coward who couldn't handle being yelled at by a toddler, has a laugh and carries on with their tasks. Fitz gets up and he and Nosy run away and spend all day hiding in a hole.

Burrich does eventually find him, and with a hearty "what the fuck you can't just burrow underneath the shed, get out of there," returns him to the stables, where his new home is Burrich's little bachelor pad above the stalls. In the days and weeks that follow, Fitz wakes up, eats breakfast, and immediately escapes the keep to go down to the town and run around with a bunch of street kids.

Fitz doesn't say much but he's game for anything and he has a dog, so he's accepted into the gang as "Newboy." He and his new friends generally just run around making trouble, stealing food, and bothering people. One of the notables in the bunch is Molly Nosebleed, called that because she always looks like someone just got done beating the shit out of her. Wholesome!

One sunny day, Fitz, Molly and Nosy are on the rocks near the beach looking for sheel to eat. I have no idea what sheel is and neither does Google. Then Molly's dad shows up to hit her with a stick to teach her a lesson about having a drunk, violent dad.

Alarmed, Fitz force-shoves Molly's dad into the sand. Molly immediately freaks out and struggles to get dad back on his feet to stagger back to their candle-making shop (or chandlery if you're feeling fancy). Fitz is confused at the intricacies of abusive relationships, but relieved that no one yet knows that he has force-shoving powers.

Aside from his brief encounter with childhood trauma, everything is going great for Fitz. Then one day, while he and his fellow urchins (and Nosy) are running from a dude whose sausages they just stole, Fitz runs right the fuck into Burrich.

"You get your butt right back up to the castle, young man," Burrich says, dragging Fitz along by his ear. "And if I EVER find out you've been down in town hanging out with someone again, I will personally have sex with them a bunch of times," he added foreshadowingly.

"I don't have to do what you say," Fitz barks.

"Bark," says Nosy.

Burrich's eyes narrow. "How many fingers am I holding up?" he asks.

"I don't really know numbers," says Fitz.

"Bark," says Nosy.

"Nosy says that's three," Fitz translates.

"Alrighty then, no more puppy for you, the puppy is going to live on a farm upstate," Burrich says. He drags the puppy outside.

Presumably something cool happens to it.

So now instead of slumming around Buckkeep Town, Fitz spends his days following Burrich around and being taught how to manage horses and dogs but not birds because birds apparently hate bastards. Fitz is careful not to let Burrich see him being friendly with any animals.

One day, Fitz is sitting underneath a table in the Great Hall, being friendly with a bunch of puppies. It's the morning after a party and there's plenty of leftover food to be had, and he's happily stuffing pies down his shirt and sharing pieces with the pups. Then he hears footsteps and who should show up but KING SHREWD!

Shrewd is technically Fitz's grandfather but has never really spoken to him. He's walking along with Prince Regal (*crowd boos*) and the king's new fool, a weirdo albino child who's just cartwheeling along behind them.

Fitz goes "hmm, time to bounce" and crawls out from under the table. Shrewd stops to look at him. "Ah, the Little Accident," he says. "If you leave weapons laying around, someone will eventually pick them up and stab you with them."

"What?" says Regal.

"What?" says Fitz.

"I am not going to leave you laying around for someone else to kill me with," Shrewd says. "Lil Accident, take this pin. I am going to to feed you, train you, house you and clothe you. If anyone's got shit to say about it, show them this pin. It means you belong to me."

"...Okay, sure," Fitz shrugs. He puts the pin into the collar of his shirt. Shrewd nods magnanimously and walks on. Regal flips him off. The Fool cartwheels out the door as they leave.

That night, Fitz goes home to Burrich's bachelor pad, but Burrich turns him right back around. "You done gone and did it now," he says. "King Shrewd noticed you and now you're gonna have to go live inside the castle like a fancy lad. Go on."

"But despite my fear and resentment of you, I see you as a protector and father figure," Fitz says.

"Oh little boy who blew up my life, I love and resent you too," Burrich assures him. "If you get lonely, you can come back down here and I'll murder another puppy for you."

Fitz trudges up to the castle. He has a room of his own. There's a fucking weird tapestry on the wall of the ancient King Wisdom consorting with... what is that thing? Slenderman? It's creepy.

Weeks go by. Fitz is kept busy with new lessons in reading and writing and 'rithmetic, as well as swordery. Once in a very long while, he makes the trip back down to the town to visit his buddies, but those trips become fewer and farther between.

It's the middle of the night.

Fitz wakes up to a draft and a light in his face. There's an old man at the foot of his bed, holding up a lantern. "Come with me," the old man says.

"Oh," Fitz yawns, getting out of bed. "It's the call to adventure."

The old man leads Fitz to a doorway in the wall that hadn't been there before. This is where the draft was coming from-- a steep staircase leading up between walls. Old man leads Fitz up a maze of passageways and then finally to a huge hidden room with all the amenities a crazy old wall-man could want, like a fireplace and comfy chairs and a big bed and a library and a science lab.

Also, the old looks like he took a hot frying pan to the face. Like he really looks like hell.

"Wrow," Fitz says.

"Wrow indeed, boy," the old man agrees. "My name is Chade. I bet I look familiar to you. Well it's because I'm King Shrewd's brother and I blah blah blah I have a weasel named Slink. Next you're going to ask what the fuck happened to my face. I can tell everything you're thinking, because I'm a master spy and assassin and-- now this part you should take to heart-- I am always right about everything. Never doubt me."

"Okay," Fitz says.

"Good. That out of the way, let's train you to kill people."

#rote #robin hobb #farseer trilogy #fitzchivalry farseer #aa abridged #farseer trilogy abridged

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its-jaytothemee · 1 month

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WIP Wednesday

A piece of the next chapter for Until I Met You. Hopefully it'll be finished and posted within the next couple of days!

Full fic here: Tumblr AO3

Word count: 2,227

Rating: Mature

Tags: Halsin/Tav, Fluff, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort Halsin POV

Summary: After Halsin hears Tav having nightmares, he decides to show her a little hidden gem of the Underdark.

Halsin waved a hand in front of Tav’s eyes to make sure she had really shut them. Satisfied with her lack of reaction, he bent over to pick up a couple of small rocks. He looked back over at Tav, who was waiting patiently with her eyes closed, or so he thought. One eye had peeked open and was trying to watch him.

“No peeking!” He scolded her with a smile. She jumped when she realized she was caught, a mischievous grin taking over her face. His heart started to beat faster, excited to show her this hidden gem he had found.

Once her eyes were closed again, he moved closer to the water and tossed a rock out into the pond.

“Okay, you can look now.” Halsin held his breath, waiting for her reaction.

Tav slowly opened her eyes and let out a soft gasp. The water in front of them had come alive with small luminescent creatures. Little dots of light swam along the tiny waves made by the rock he threw into the pond. Her eyes were wide with wonder, darting back and forth along the entire surface of the water.

“What do you think? I found this place shortly after you retired for the night.” He asked, his voice hopeful. More than anything he wanted to see her happy, to give her just a brief reprieve from the hardships of their journey. Maybe even more than that, he wanted someone to share this with, someone who could also appreciate such a small marvel in nature.

“It’s…” Tav shook her head lightly as she let out a few gasping laughs. The colorful lights from the water danced across her awe-struck face, knocking the breath out of him.

“It’s incredible, Halsin! I’ve never seen anything like it.” Her laughs were heartier now, the sound filling his chest with the familiar warmth her company often brought.

Oak Father preserve me, that smile…

She continued laughing as she skipped along the edge of the water. Chasing the little creatures that swam up close to them, she looked like a child that had just been given a new toy. After a few more moments, the lights started to fade. She turned back to him, her lower lip stuck out in a slight pout.

“What happened?”

“They fade after a while, but disturbing the water will bring them back. Here.” He offered the other rock in his hand to her. She giggled with glee and tossed the small stone into the water, once again gasping as the tiny creatures lit up the ripples. Her laughs were pure delight cutting through the eerie stillness of the Underdark.

“Are they dangerous?” She had squatted down by the water, her hand resisting the temptation to reach out into it.

“As far as I am aware, no they are not.” He barely had the words out before she had her hand running through the water alongside them. The little dots of light trailed along in the wake created by her wiggling fingers.

The overwhelming affection he felt watching her made him lightheaded. A stirring in his heart that had been dormant for so long returned stronger than ever. For just a moment, there was no grief or guilt, no weight of responsibility. For just one precious moment, there was only the joy of sharing this experience with someone new, someone he was starting to truly care for. Someone who could maybe care for him too, although he didn’t dare to hope.

“I thought perhaps this could raise your spirits a bit. Being your first time in the Underdark, I figured you would be unfamiliar with these creatures.” He shifted in place, kicking the dirt at his feet. “I have precious little in the way of gifts, but I thought I could at least share this with you. After everything you’ve done for me, it’s the least I could do. I wasn’t sure what you–” Tav cut him off with a hug.

“It’s amazing. Thank you.” Her arms squeezed his waist, and he heard her sniffle lightly. Once again, he let himself relax into her friendly embrace.

“You are most welcome.” The lights faded as he stood there hugging her back, returning the area to its usual darkness.

When she pulled away from him, she went right back to the edge of the water, picking up another rock to bring the glow back. Her look of childlike curiosity returning to her face the moment the little creatures began their colorful dance along the waves.

“Would you like to stay here with me for a while?” She turned to ask him, her smile still plastered across her face.

I think I would stay here with you forever.

“Of course. It’s not every day that you get to experience such a wonder.” He responded, no longer referring to the dancing lights in front of them. Halsin’s eyes never left her, even after she turned her attention back to the water in front of her.

She took a seat at the edge of the pond, patting the ground next to her for him to come sit. He happily obliged so they could watch the strange creatures together. Their lights bathed Tav in a soft glow, highlighting every line and curve on her face. He studied every detail, committing it to his memory. The freckles that covered her face and shoulders, the sharp line of her jaw, the small tattoo of a broken sword on her throat. Her long hair tumbled loosely around her shoulders, the colorful lights from the water reflected in the soft locks. The pointed tips of her ears pointed out between the strands, twitching slightly each time she would smile at the tiny creatures in front of her.

Why do you tempt yourself like this? What did you hope to accomplish in bringing her here?

Of course, he knew the answer. All he wanted was to see her smile, to see her laugh. He wanted any excuse to be alone with her, any excuse to hug her or touch her. Taking every chance to have those little moments of intimacy that he had craved for decades.

“Thank you…for thinking of me.” Tav sighed.

As if I could think of anything else of late.

“But please don’t think that you owe me anything.” She turned to look at him.

“You’re too modest. I would not be here if not for you. That is a debt I doubt I could ever repay.”

Tav seemed lost in thought for a moment, tossing another rock into the water to bring the strange light show back.

“Then consider the debt forgiven. I truly don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything. I want you to stay with m…us…because you want to. I want you to share things like this because you want to. Not because you feel obligated.” He could just make out tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.

“I can assure you, Tav, that I am here of my own accord. I promise you that despite the hardships, despite the dangers ahead, I am here because it is where I am needed. I…” He trailed off as he found himself lost in her affectionate gaze.

“When I found this place, I thought only of you. I wanted to share it only with you.” Her endearing blush crept over her face and cheeks at his words. He could feel his own face warming as well, causing him to snap his attention back to the water in front of him.

They sat in silence for a while, the only sound being the occasional rock Tav threw into the water.

“Why do we stay so long in places that make us so unhappy?” She whispered the question, almost as if she didn’t mean to speak it out loud.

“What do you mean?” Halsin had a moment of panic, was she unhappy here?

“Being here, now…I’m happy. I’m happy to be here with you, I’m happy to see these tiny new creatures for the first time. I’m happy to have our traveling party, despite the circumstances of how we met. But I spent a long time being very unhappy when I didn’t have to be.”

Halsin sat and listened quietly, waiting to let her share her thoughts. She took a deep, trembling breath.

“My family…” She trailed off. “My father wasn’t…isn’t…a good person.”

“He was awful to me and my brother. Honestly, I’m not sure which of us he hated more. I was useful to him, and he was more than happy to use me. But gods was he terrible to Tev’aron.” A few tears slid down her cheeks, twinkling with the different colors from the lights in the water.

“If I spoke out of turn, if I rebelled, Tev was usually the one who paid the price, not me. He knew that was a much more effective punishment. That’s not to say he didn’t take the opportunity to hurt me as well, but somehow it stung less than watching Tev suffer on my behalf.” Her voice was so small, the woman sitting next to him seemed to momentarily transform into a frightened young girl, shivering in the dark.

“Despite always paying for my mistakes, Tev loved me, he looked after me. He always came to my rescue even though it meant suffering for him. And I let him take on that suffering for so many years.

“I could have left, Tev begged me to for years before he escaped. We could have snuck out and made a new life for ourselves much sooner than we did. I could have saved both of us so much pain…” The small breaks in her voice brought tears to his eyes.

“Why did I stay?” She turned to face him. Her eyes were pleading for an answer that he couldn’t give.

Halsin was hardly the best person to ask. How long did he stay at the grove despite his sadness? For years before he met Tav he had yearned to roam and explore, to return to Moonrise to bring back the light, to return to his home in the High Forest. Yet, he also stayed. How long had he denied himself happiness in the name of responsibility?

“Often times I don’t think we know how truly miserable we are until someone comes along to show us. The pull of obligation and responsibility is a strong one. I think we need just a small glimpse of freedom to know what we’re missing, but once we have it…” He reached out to take one of her hands. “It’s impossible to look back.”

She smiled lightly back at him.

“No person can break through such hardship alone. We need others to help lift that veil, and it sounds to me like Tev did that for you. Even if it took longer than you would have liked.”

“I just wish I could have repaid the favor, you know?” She sniffled.

“Perhaps you have.” He said softly. She gave him an inquisitive look in response.

“You may not have been able to do the same for your brother…but look at what you’ve done for everyone here with you today. How many of us here have been shown the freedom and happiness we’ve desired through you? You are a guiding light in the darkness helping to brighten our path. You are far too hard on yourself, my friend. I think Tev would be quite proud to see what you’ve done for the others in your care.”

“I miss him, Halsin.” She wiped a few more tears from her face.

“I know, Tav. I know.” And he did. His entire family had passed, parents and siblings alike. It had been so long that he could hardly recall any details about them. Only fragments remained, his mother’s hair, his father’s strong hands, his sister’s laugh…

His thoughts were interrupted when Tav leaned over to him and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. The gesture made his breath catch and his heart stop. His fingers moved to his face to lightly trace the spot where her lips met his skin.

“I’m so glad I met you, Halsin. You’re…a wonderful friend.” She smiled that oh so sweet smile at him, once again stirring him to his core. The tiny lights reflected in her teary eyes caused them to sparkle. They were sitting so close, all he would have to do is lean forward a bit and feel her soft lips against his…

“You’re…beautiful.” The Elvish whisper escaped his lips before he could stop it.

Her blush returned as she stared back at him, stunned.

“What did you say?” Her smile widened.

Panic spread over him. He didn’t mean for this to happen, he should have been able to control himself. Apparently, he underestimated just how intoxicating her company would be sitting here by the glowing pond.

“I…uh…I mean you are…” He started stammering wildly, unable to form a coherent thought. His eyes wandered to her lips, desperate to feel their touch again.

Tav was about to say something when another voice called out to them from the darkness. Halsin let out a deep breath, happy to have bought himself just a little more time. She slowly took her hand back, leaving him feeling just a touch colder than before.

#bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #wip #wip wednesday #halsin fanfic #halsin x tav #halsin/tav #halsin fluff #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #current wip #i love these two so much #apologies for the tooth rotting sweetness in here

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chickalupe · 7 months

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Feeling very down right now, just want to vent...

(Treating this like my old Livejournal since I don't really have anywhere else I can complain LMAO)

I've been out of work since August after completely running out of FMLA.

Between getting severe COVID in February and being out recovering for 6 weeks -- and then with Long COVID making the chronic fatigue and migraines I already had even worse -- I ended up missing so much work that I used all the time FMLA allowed before the year was even half over.

I'm living with my parents now and don't really have income except my savings; honestly most days I don't have the physical or mental spoons to even contemplate applying for even a part-time remote position yet. Thankfully I also have a retirement fund I am slowly cashing in, even if that also isn't really sustainable long-term. (But me losing my insurance will definitely be an issue soon when I run out of refills for my prescription meds...)

I'm aware that I've been pretty isolated since August; I've gotten maybe like two texts from former co-workers. I'm mostly asleep during the daytime and don't drive, so going out is hard. The person I consider my BFF is out of state and is busy with their own life. The only people I talk to most days are my Mom and Dad. (Admittedly, I am also pretty terrible about calling or texting people!) Tumblr has thus been the majority of my social interaction, for good or ill.

On top of all that, my birthday is this Friday and I always find myself depressed anyway this time of year. Like, it's probably half Seasonal Affective Disorder, and half a reminder that I'm a year older and having mixed feelings about where I am in life, IDK... But the current situation of *gestures vaguely at everything* isn't helping. So I am very blergh in general.

My parents and I had made vague plans a couple weeks ago that we could all go out for dinner on my actual birthday; nothing fancy, maybe the nearest sit-down Mexican restaurant. I was kinda looking forward to it. Mom just informed me that she is now unavailable after 5pm on my b-day itself since she offered to babysit kids for someone in their church that evening and night. We can't do it tomorrow night either, because Mom & Dad will be at a craft show from 4pm to 10pm.

And... it's fine, I guess. I'm disappointed but I'm an adult. I'm not gonna throw a tantrum or yell and cry or try to guilt her about it. She brought me flowers from the grocery store as a sort of peace offering and says we can still have cake or whatever. We'll probably do something on Saturday instead.

But EVERY YEAR, it's something. Last year, it was the cheesecake I asked for as a birthday cake getting dropped on the way into the house from the car; over half of it was smushed and then Dad stole the best remaining slice for himself. The two years before that, it was during the worst of the pandemic so I just had mediocre delivery food. I literally cannot remember the last birthday I really enjoyed in over a decade and half.

Another big source of anxiety right now -- we found out have 60 days to move since the leasing company is selling this house. So we have to find a new place, be packed and then move by January. Meanwhile home inspectors, realty agents and potential buyers are walking through while we're still living here, and it's super stressful. Words can't express how much I hate strangers being here any and all days of the week.

I guess I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. I'm not trying to be whiny or woe-is-me, but my mental health right now is uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Not Great (tm) 😅. I do try hard to be positive but it just takes so much energy and I'm stressed and a little numb.

Not really sure how to end this. I just really needed to put it all in writing as a journal-type situation so that I don't end up crying in real life LOL.

Current Mood: burnt-out 😑

Current Music: HGTV playing in the background

#personal #don't reblog #personal don't reblog #vent post #life update

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deliciouskeys · 10 months

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25 for soft OTP prompts please!

25- Write about your ship bathing or swimming together. from the soft OTP prompts meme

Haha thank you, I love having an excuse to write about aquatic Butchlander! Warning unbetaread (by me I mean D:), typed into tumblr directly. AO3 link.

Rated let's say E for safety. Also warning for being depressing, probably :/

When Butcher envisioned retiring to a tropical island he never bothered to think of it in realistic terms. It was more like a vision of some sort of celestial afterlife for an atheist, if he was going to be honest with himself. A place to go when the string of cares, troubles, disappointments, and tragedies that seemed to comprise his life would be snapped short and finally made irrelevant. At one point, he wanted to kill every supe on earth before he'd let himself retire in peace. Then the goalposts shifted. He found Becca and ended up promising to fulfill her dying wish—that he'd take care of her son and make sure he grew up to be a good person. Now he'd let himself retire if he removed just one supe out of the equation, and he'd be retiring with the kid in tow. And then... the goalposts simply vanished. That very same supe brought him here, to guard over his son, somehow getting it into his head that Butcher's antagonism towards Vought made him a perfect babysitter.

He was dropped off on some remote unnamed island together with Ryan. He wasn't sure where it was located—the cunt carried them both, Butcher in one arm, Ryan in the other, as if they weighed nothing, straight from New York, taking several hours. But that was for Butcher's benefit, apparently. The cunt could apparently fly in from New York on the order of minutes if traveling at his preferred full speed. Maybe this island wasn't far from Florida, but damned if Butcher knew. There was no other land visible in any direction. Butcher sometimes cursed himself for squeezing his eyes shut from the wind for most of the uncomfortable, freezing flight. Maybe he would have known which direction to swim in if he had bothered to look down and see where they were being taken. Maybe he could have estimated how far the mainland or any inhabited island was from their godforsaken prison. But none of it was realistic.

There was a primitive hut near the beach, with very little furniture, no electricity or plumbing of course. Honestly, Butcher wouldn't have minded that aspect. In another life, he would have relished being remote from civilization and he wouldn't have missed most creature comforts. But he wasn't alone. There was a nine year old boy with him. And they had no way to get food or water besides waiting for the boy's father to show up.

Homelander visited daily, with a modest haul of food and firewood, only meant to last a day or two, and usually some sort of ridiculous gift for his child. Butcher wasn't keen on Ryan realizing just how dire their circumstances were, and Homelander was apparently banking on that. He left some sort of satellite device with only one call button and Butcher was supposed to use it if anything happened—if anyone from Vought located and contacted them, or if Ryan decided to take it into his head to practice flying and leave the island. Butcher tried the button once, out of morbid curiosity, and heard Homelander's voice on the other end of the line answer after one ring. Must have transferred straight to his phone. "What happened," he asked tersely and Butcher could tell that he was walking briskly, maybe already on his way to leave the Tower and fly over. Butcher gave some insipid reason for having called, that Ryan wanted a certain type of food for lunch, and he could hear Homelander's voice relax and lose its edge over the phone as he promised to bring what was requested.

Sometimes Butcher would rack his brains for ways to escape his prison, but very few planes ever passed within sight, let alone overhead to notice a message laid out in rocks. Traveling away from the island was out of the question-- he didn't really have any tools to try to build a raft. And deep down he knew that even if he set out as soon as Homelander left, there was no way he'd get far enough in a day that that supe cunt wouldn't spot him. The only way to really get away was to drown himself, but he couldn't do that to Ryan. Not when the kid had immediately transferred his attachment from his mother to him.

Ryan seemed to enjoy life on the island. He'd swim in the ocean or run around the beach making combination sand and Lego castles. He liked when Butcher built a fire in the evening under the stars and the vast still ocean that all melted together into one great sphere around them. He was perceptive enough to notice whenever Butcher couldn't keep his glum mood completely hidden, and Butcher tried to hide it as much as possible. How had Becca done it? Experiencing a very similar set of circumstances now made Butcher that much more astonished at how she managed to not only stay sane, but be a good, doting mother. Ryan still missed her terribly, and that was the one instance where Butcher could let his guard down and share his true feelings with Ryan as well. They tried to keep to happy reminiscences, but some nights Ryan would get thoughtful and sad, and Butcher would take him up in his arms and rock him, the sound of the waves on the beach drowning out the fact that they were both quietly weeping. It was time like these that taking care of a child suddenly felt like the most natural thing in the world.

It was on one such night that Homelander landed quietly next to Butcher, making just enough noise to rouse him from where he had fallen asleep in the beach chair their imprisoner so kindly provided.

"You should be making sure he falls asleep in bed," Homelander muttered under his breath, snaking his arms underneath Ryan's body and picking him gingerly, placing a kiss on his head before carrying him back to the hut. Butcher grimaced at the feeling of the cunt's gloves coming in contact with his skin. He stretched sleepily and buttoned his shirt protectively. He had zero intention of going back to the hut before he hearing the comforting sound of the supe's takeoff. Why was the cunt even here at night? He usually visited in the early mornings.

Instead of hearing him taking off, Butcher heard the footfalls of those garish red boots walking back across the sand toward him.

"And what brings you here so early?" Butcher finally asked without turning around, guessing that Homelander was standing somewhere close behind his chair, maybe staring off into the ocean as well.

"You didn't answer when I called," came the terse answer.

"Didn't know I was responsible for answering. We was out here, couldn't hear it in the hut. I don't even know what the thing sounds like."

"Doesn't matter now," Homelander said, coming closer to what was left of the campfire Butcher had built. "I have some time on my hands. Figured I'd visit."

"Well, as you can see, Ryan's asleep."

"I do see that."

"So maybe fuck off then."

Butcher heard Homelander laugh softly.

"You'll trim your beard but you won't use the sunscreen I brought you. Are you committing the slowest suicide in the world by hoping to get skin cancer?"

The moon was pretty new, and it was dark out on the beach. The cunt could apparently see him just fine-- even see that Butcher managed to get another sunburn by being careless out on the beach earlier that day. Butcher could barely make out his form standing next to him, illuminated mostly by starlight and the few glowing embers in the ring of stones that formed the fire pit.

"Don't rightly know." Butcher replied when he could just make out that Homelander leaned his head over to one side, expecting an answer to what Butcher thought was a rhetorical question. "The sunscreen you brought smells like some vile fruity concoction."

"I'll get you a better one," Homelander said. "What do you do here all day? Sit and watch Ryan play in the sun?"

"What do you want me to do? If you really want to be a dear, you could get us a football to kick around together."

"I can do that," Homelander said and Butcher cringed when he could hear that the cunt was grinning.

"How long you plan on keeping us here then? It's been a month already."

"You're not happy here? I thought it's a pretty idyllic location compared to the other places I considered hiding Ryan."

"And why're you hiding him?"

"I want him to get used to his powers, develop all of them to full strength, away from prying eyes. Vought wanted him to be their failsafe against me. I won't let them whisk him away while I'm not looking and hide him in some compound again. So until he learns to use his powers and at least be able to defend himself, I want him away from them. So yes, every time you tell him not to listen to me and not to practice controlling his lasers or trying to fly, you're just prolonging your own prison term here."

Butcher laughed. He was happy that at least one thing he was doing was apparently getting on this cunt's nerves. At this point he didn't care if it was prolonging anything or not. Butcher figured that if Homelander ever decided to move Ryan back into Vought Tower, he'd be quickly dispatched. Maybe just not right in front of Ryan.

"You ever go swimming in the ocean at night?" Homelander suddenly asked and walked past Butcher toward the surf. Butcher could only just make out the white stars and stripes of the damned cape billowing out behind him in the sea breeze, and his silhouette cutting into the white foam of the waves.

"Is that a trick question? No, I don't leave your child by himself."

"Good point," Homelander answered. "Wanna do it now? I'll hear if he wakes up."

"Not really," Butcher spat back. Truth be told, he was a bit wary of walking into a black ocean where he couldn't see the horizon, as if he was stepping off the ledge into outer space. "You going in with that stupid suit still on? Boots and all?" he shouted after him when he could just see Homelander's figure approach the water line. Butcher immediately regretted his words when the cunt turned back, contemplating him for only a moment before walking back and starting to unbutton his suit. Part of Butcher was fascinated to watch as the supe peeled the suit off layer by layer, folding it and draping it over the beach chair where Ryan sat earlier. He knew the cunt must undress, probably every day, but it still felt like something gruesome was happening before his eyes, as though this supe monstrosity suddenly sloughed off his skin and, horror of horrors, there had been a plain person underneath all along. Butcher didn't even bother not to stare—not that he could make out that much in the darkness.

"Come in with me," Homelander said, and Butcher could have sworn this was less of a command than a playful request, cajoling tone and all.

Butcher could feel his heart start to race, and he couldn't even pinpoint from what. He just wished it would stop so that the cunt wouldn't hear it.

"My swim trunks are in the hut. Don't feel like fetching them right now."

Butcher couldn't really see Homelander's face but it felt like he was starting to get a supernatural sense of perception of his own, because he could perfectly picture the other man's skeptical expression.

"The modesty's really charming, especially when I can freely see everything."

"Your problem for looking."

"Who're you ashamed of here?"

"No one!" Butcher snapped, standing up and emphatically throwing his clothes off onto the beach chair. He was ashamed of being kept prisoner and being trapped into taking care of his nemesis' child, just because that child happened to be Becca's, and happened to be a pretty sweet kid whom it was hard to turn his back on, promise or no promise. He was ashamed that he was about to go skinnydipping into the ocean with the person he despised most of all in the whole world because, he was loath to admit, he had grown to miss adult company and conversation. Yes, even when it was full of barbs and half-insults from this insufferable cunt.

Walking into the water felt refreshing, although some small irrational part of Butcher's mind was conjuring up all sorts of frightening sea creatures lurking in the depths of the pitch black water. But in reality there was only one creature who was lethally dangerous in this island's waters, and he was swimming right alongside him. Swimming was perhaps not the right word. The cunt seemed to propel himself with ease without moving a limb. It was that same power of flight but deployed in the water. Butcher was determined to ignore him and sputtered as he swam further out, not really knowing what his endgoal was in this outing. Perhaps just to accidentally swallow a bunch of sea water and feel sick. Homelander was just in front of him, on his back, watching him struggle.

"Why's your heartrate so fast?" the cunt suddenly had the audacity to ask.

"Because..." Butcher tried to answer but it was difficult to keep his head consistently high enough in the water. "Us mortals have to... actually swim to move in the water... Not fucking torpedoing or I don't know what the fuck you're doing..."

Something suddenly touched Butcher's leg and before any rational thought could intercede he flailed and grabbed at the man in front of him.

Homelander didn't buck him off, only straightening up in the water and actually embracing Butcher to his chest.

"What is it?" he finally asked. "Did you get tired?"

"I don't know," Butcher muttered, shaking his head. "Something down there fucking touched me."

Homelander stared down into the water for a few moments, then look back at him, lips peeling back to reveal that unnerving Cheshire grin Butcher had seen on the telly before he got to see it in person on a regular basis. Butcher cursed that he was holding on for dear life to someone who looked downright demonic when only the whites of his eyes and flawless tooth enamel was visible in the darkness.

"Just a fish," he announced. "You okay swimming back?"

"No. Can't see shit in front of me. I don't even know where the shore is right now."

"It's right there," Homelander said, pointing the direction out with a quick flick of his chin, because he was still holding Butcher securely, wasting no effort on treading water, and just hanging there, supernaturally suspended at a depth that kept their shoulders out of the water.

"Brilliant. Still won't have a fucking clue where to go after a few strokes."

Butcher didn't even comprehend what was happening until it was too late, until his head was already being pulled in and his lips were being pressed into Homelander's. He didn't put up much of a struggle, the whole experience feeling surreal, and some primordial self-preservation instinct still telling him to not let go of this cunt, lest he drift off and drown. The kiss felt good, truth be told, if he could just forget who this was for a moment. It felt like something he wanted to do again and again, even if he was back on terra firma. The cunt's mouth tasted good. Maybe he tasted sweet in contrast to all that bitter salty ocean water Butcher had been nose deep in just now, but his mouth was soft, comforting, and their tongues met as if they were familiar, reuniting after a long absence. Butcher sighed and resigned himself even when he could feel himself getting hard against Homelander's hip. What was another humiliation going to really add to the pile he was already suffering?

When they parted, neither said anything, no quips, no excuses or complaints. Homelander moved towards the shore, cutting through the water's surface, giving Butcher the courtesy of facing in the opposite direction and not having the water hitting his body. He let go once Butcher could plant his feet on the bottom and traipse out of the waves, legs a little shaky.

Homelander came towards him, embracing him, before resuming the kiss. Butcher didn't pull away even now, though his feet were planted firmly on the ground and there was no more real reason to grip the other man tightly. He just missed sex. He tried to avoid even thinking about it while living here with Ryan, but now his head was full of only one idea. He wanted to take this cunt from behind, up against one of these palm trees, wanted to pull on his ridiculous bleached hair so he'd arch backwards, and spill into him and make this pristine little cunt dirty, whack him, spank him, put out cigarettes on his back like a fucked up ashtray—the cigarettes he won't let him have and that Butcher still craved every time the depression set in thick. He still wanted to kill this supe, the thought got him hard, but it was probably impossible. There was no retirement, there was no Heaven, and the idea that he'd ever finish his 'unfinished business' was a myth.

And then Butcher realized that although he couldn't see this cunt well, he could still feel that he was shorter and had to lean upwards to kiss him, that his body wasn't as built up as his suit would suggest and his upper arms felt lean in Butcher's rough hands. Butcher leaned out of the kiss and could see that this supe freak could be mistaken for a normal person, short of breath, also hard, and only a faint red glow in his eyes giving away that this was one of Vought's unholy creations.

"You take good care of Ryan," he finally said, just the slightest tremolo in his voice, still smiling. "Thanks."

"Want me to take good care of you before he wakes up?" Butcher had no idea what kind of bravery possessed him to blurt this out, but his hands instinctively traveled down and squeezed Homelander's ass cheeks.

He didn't need super-senses to hear the cunt's breath hitch in his throat.

#ficlet #butchlander #the boys #the boys tv #fic #meme #soft otp meme #mystuff #thanks for the ask!

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sybilius · 1 year

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Syb’s 2022 MOTY List

Hellooooo tumblr! I thought I’d share a short list of the wrestling matches that really stuck with me this year. I’m not going to dig up links for these since this is basically a Syb Loved It list without any coherence necessarily, but if you any of these really speak to you feel free to shoot me a DM and I’ll try to find you a link!

1. Jun Kasai vs El Desperado (TAKATaichiDespeMania, 12.09.2022)

This is just a beautiful, beautiful death match whose core message is about celebrating being alive. It hit me in my core self. 15/10 would watch again anytime.

2. K-Ness Retirement match ( DG The Gate Of Passion 2022 ~ Final Burst Out! K-Ness Forever - Tag 4 - 07.04.2022 )

If there was ever a match to show you how beautiful it is that wrestling is a real-time story that can perform death as well as life-- it’s this one. Please enjoy that K-ness is tagging with his longtime tag partner (Yokosuka) against his forever rival (Dragon Kid) and his wrestling-son (Kzy). It’s a beautiful match and brought tears to my eyes.

3. Kazusada Higuchi vs. Yukio Sakaguchi (God Bless DDT 2022, 23.10.2022)

The lead-up to this match made me insane -- if I could recommend all the house shows leading up to this, I would. This is a story about Higuchi who was mentored by Sakaguchi coming into his own and having to face his mentor in the ring. It’s deeply beautiful and also romantic and intense. Pro wrestling is a love story for real.

4. KENTA vs Zack Sabre Jr. (NJPW G1 Climax 32, 17.07.2022)

Two grown men arguing about who is Senpai. Need I say more?

5. Katsuyori Shibata vs Orange Cassidy (AEW Rampage #66, 04.11.2022)

Although Shibata wrestling Ren at WK was probably most special to longtime New Japan watchers, the fact that he came to AEW to specifically put the shine on “comedy” wrestler Orange Cassidy, did some awesome comedy spots and put on a killer match, and OC was his first loss since his in-ring return? Mwah mwah perfection.

Honorable Mentions:

BCC vs JAS ft. Suzuki (AEW Forbidden Door)

Jun Akiyama vs Eddie Kingston (AEW Full Gear 2022: Zero Hour)

Punk/MJF dog collar match (AEW Revolution 2022)

DDT "Drunk Three Way" match (DDT Non-Alcoholic Beer Garden 2022)

Ren Narita vs Juice Robinson (NJPW Strong)

#pro wrestling #wrestling #moty #njpw #aew #ddt pro wrestling #dragongate #el desperado #takataichidespemania

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highliqhts · 4 months

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🎬 just announced, rowan delaney has been cast as rikki chadwick in the upcoming h2o: just add water reboot. the twenty3 year old is trending as people are debating if the scouring the local thrift stores for the cutest knitted tops, giving their manager serious heart palpitations by going on instagram live rants about how big corporations are ruining the planet at 2am, being weirdly good at tiktok dance challenges, trying to cook for people despite being terrible at it and being completely unable to keep a phone screen protected without cracks that they are known for is enough to make them as good as original. a quick google search shows that their fans call them free-spirited, but internet trolls think they’re more brash. i guess their newest interview for variety where they talk about how they almost had an accident trying to swim with a mermaid’s tail as a child will let people to know them better.

hii, besties !! <33 i am daisy and genuinely so excited to be here ?? fair warning that it's been ... probably about a year since i last tumblr group rped, so i might be a bit rusty but this one brought me back from my retirement. this is rowan, who is a brand new muse of mine aka they're definitely still a work in progress but i'd absolutely love to plot with everyone and figure out all the missing pieces !! anyway, hope u enjoy, mwuah !

basics.

name: rowan delaney.

nicknames: ro.

gender: demi woman

pronouns: she/they.

age: 23.

date of birth: january 23rd 2001.

astrological sign: aquarius.

place of birth: brisbane, australia.

nationality: australian.

ethnicity: mauritian, italian.

occupation: actress.

sexual & romantic orientation: pansexual, panromantic.

character.

positive traits: free-spirited, accepting, spontaneous, passionate, independent, loyal.

negative traits: brash, aloof, stubborn, fickle.

likes: the beach, having conversations about things that actually matter, finding that piece while thrifting, traveling, chai latte, pistacchios, surfing.

dislikes: small talk, people who don't care about the environment / animals, authority figures, rules that don't make sense to her, fake niceties.

biography.

if there ever were two people who absolutely should be parents it's rowan's moms. their lovestory is one for the ages, as they had met in the australian wilderness, ciara an italian backpacking tourist and lauren the australian who saved her from some kind of poisonous snake ( or if you believe lauren a totally non-threatening, non-poisonous snake but she would only contest it if ciara isn't around ). what followed is neatly documented in the photo albums rowan grew up looking through, their mothers on their travels through the entire country, lauren having joined ciara for ' protection purposes '. one thing led to another and the two of them fell in love, something that was completely unthinkable, both with the distance and with ciara’s very catholic and conservative family back in italy. there were simply too many obstacles, it couldn’t work out, right ? with heavy hearts they said goodbye after almost an entire year spent constantly by each other’s sides. that is until, due to a sudden storm, ciara’s flight didn’t take off, leading them to have yet another conversation … after all, wasn’t this fate telling them not to part ? in the end ciara never left australia to go back to living in italy, instead taking the leap and staying in australia with the woman she excitedly calls the ‘ love of her life ‘ even to this day.

rowan was the last puzzle piece to their perfect little family, in addition to the two dogs, one cat and the stray duck all living with them as well. nobody really knows how the duck ended up there. they do know how rowan did though, after years of careful consideration she was about the most wished for child you could possibly imagine. and so she grew up, surrounded by love and support. that being said, for a while it wasn’t easy for rowan to cope with the harsher realities of life outside their little house. while at the delaney’s family home it was alright to express yourself and your feelings however you wanted, the outside world was less accepting of that. therefore school wasn't easy for her during the first years. rowan was a bit of an outsider during those years, spending most of their free time at home with the pets and their mothers. it wasn’t until she grew up some more that she found friends who would accept her as she was.

once those years came around however, her life was better than ever before. alongside their friends they spent a lot of time exploring the beaches and city around them. their mothers, being the free-spirited and encouraging women they were, mostly encouraged them in this, paying for their first surfing lessons right alongside the first acting classes. initially they had only signed up for those because a friend of theirs had. surprisingly enough though, rowan soon figured out that acting was something they were not only rather good at but also loved to do. though ciara would later say she never thought it to be all that surprising, with how much rowan had always loved listening to and sharing stories. especially during those younger, more lonely days, where it was mostly books keeping her company. the last years of high school were spent acting in local theater productions, having bonfires at the beach and surfing with their friends.

life was good for rowan during those times as she started considering what to do after school. it was at the beginning of her last year in high school when she saw an open audition for neighbors and decided to simply shoot her shot. never in a million years did they think this would actually lead them anywhere,that was until they got callback after callback, eventually sitting down to do chemistry reads. they were seventeen, a month into their final year when they got the official offer. sitting down with their parents, they debated. how would she finish school, when filming would take place in melbourne ? was it even feasible ? could she move there on her own ? in the end they found a solution that had her living with a friend of the family in melbourne during filming, studying with a tutor when she was there and still attending school whenever she was in brisbane. it was a stressful year and it’s safe to say their final grades were not much to be proud of but they did it, they graduated. afterwards she was lucky enough for her minor role to stay permanent, gaining some importance in the show’s plotline, leading to her being able to continue to stay on the crew and work in melbourne.

they kept their very first television role on neigbors for about 3-4 years, before finally saying their goodbye to the australian soap. due to the relative prominence of the show in australian television, they had earned a decent level of exposure through it. in australia, this would have definitely lent itself to quickly gaining further job opportunities and she definitely debated this with her moms for quite some time. in the end it was them that pushed her to aim higher, to try her luck in the us and move to los angeles at 21. the move was probably the hardest thing ro has done to this day, leaving was tearful not only because they’d miss their family but also because they’d miss their home and they were fully aware they might just be leaving for nothing. for the past two years ro has mostly been getting very small appearances for an episode or three in multiple tv projects ( imagine patient on grey’s or a lost plotline in riverdale or smth, i’ll have to figure the exact projects out ). only recently did she get her first real breakthrough when she was cast as rikki in the reboot of h20: just add water, an australian classic ! they’re about to start filming season 1 and it’s safe to say that ro couldn’t be more excited, having been an avid viewer of the show as a kid.

tl;dr: basically she's born to two very loving lesbians whom i gave an unneccessarily sweet backstory. she grew up in australia, loves the oceans and animals and always had the loving support of her family. she started acting at 17 and moved to the us to further follow that career at 21. h2o is her first lead role.

headcanons.

rowan sometimes refers to the pets that were in the house while they grew up as if they were their siblings, which can be confusing to some people

ro’s style is very much sort of boho inspired, she loves cute knitted pieces and wide flowy pants and dresses or jeans shorts as well as sporting the most pieced together yet somehow strangely working assortment of jewelry

she has a decently active social media presence, which is mostly used for an unpredictable mixture of silly on set tiktok challenges or passionate calls for action, mostly for environmental protection

they’re very much a beach and oceans enthusiast and they WILL shut you down for leaving any kind of trash on the beach but also for supporting environmentally damaging companies

ro has a decent amount of houseplants at home and tries to keep them alive so desperately ? but honestly, they’re really not a natural at it.

she loves doing her nails herself, including cute and intricate nail designs

when they were 19 and at a party they got a tiny tattoo of an octopus done on the left side of her hip

#↪ 𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒂𝒏 𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒆𝒚 ━ about.#2000s.intro #this got longer than expected ??? sry to anyone reading rip #but pls still love my bby !!

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prurientpuddlejumper · 2 years

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..... tell me more about mr dourif

Oh gosh, oh gosh!! Where to start!

Well first of all he has an amazing daughter, Fiona, who is also an actor. (He likes talking about her so much more than talking about himself so it seems appropriate to bring her up first.)

...who looks so much like him, she played his younger self in the Chucky TV series. (Do not worry about the bisexual panic of crushing on a man and his daughter at the same time)

Brad has an adorable story he likes to tell about the time he was in the recording booth for Child's Play, voicing the scene where Chucky is BURNING TO DEATH. So it's a full 60 seconds of agonized screaming. He finishes, looks up, realizes Fiona has toddled into the studio, and she just bursts out sobbing. He had to be like, "it's ok. Daddy's not really hurt." aaaannnd 15 years later she became an actress 😂

The man, the legend...

Brad has played iconic horror characters & villains since being cast as Charles Lee Ray/Chucky in the 1988 Child's Play.

Brad has reprised Chucky in every sequel, and the franchise's creator, Don Mancini, is like a second dad/bff to Fiona. The Chucky Fam is so wholesome 😍

Ok, right, BRAD. Some of his other iconic roles:

Wormtongue, Lord of the Rings

Piter De Vries, Dune (David Lynch)

Doc Cochran, Deadwood

The abusive Clinton Pell, Mississippi Burning

Fun (not so fun?) Fact! Brad fell into a depression after his role in Mississippi Burning, where he played a wife-beating racist sheriff. Even though it was just stage makeup, seeing his costar covered in bruises brought him to tears.

He got typecast as a villain because he's great at it, but in real life, he's much more like his breakout role: the sweet, shy Billy Bibbit in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Now that he's retired, he doesn't take villain roles anymore (unless it's for Don Mancini, because he will always work with Don ❤)

Tumblr only allows 10 images per post which is just NOT ENOUGH to cover this man's wide-ranging career! Though he does play a serial killer often enough for it to count as spoilers when his name shows up in the guest-starring credits (his two roles that made me obsessed with him were Lon Suder, his guest role on Star Trek: Voyager, and Luther Lee Boggs on The X-Files)

TL;DR: Looks like he could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll

#brad dourif #asks

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a-soft-housecat · 1 year

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Hi im back!!! (Catkin anon!!)

I've seen you talk about your gear here... if youre comfortable, could you show the gear you do have?

Hope you've been having a lovely day !

☆ Catkin anon

Catkin anon!! Welcome back! I'm sure you'll be happy to hear that this ask got me attacked by my cat multiple times (joking... slightly lol)

Because I still have master mastered the use of tech these images will probably be huge so I'll be putting them under the cut with some information about the gear itself as well :>

-Homemade pin! I did try to limit the size of some of these by meshing two photos together but this just looks like some kids Etsy listing now.... Oh well its the thought that counts! (Extra info is that while I was taking this photo my cat was trying very hard to attack the pin itself) So actually about the pin itself now haha I made this pretty recently! It's made out of a (1) bottle cap (1) pop tab and (1) small safety pin! I can say that curling the edges of the bottle cap without fully warping the middle is nearly impossible but I think I did a pretty decent job! It's much more of a light purple in real life aand since I don't know what else to say I'll move on

-Ears and tail! I also had to put this in a photo editor because it was flipped the wrong way round... (Extra info! My cat thought the fake fur and real fur looked very much like a fun toy so I had to struggle to keep him from attacking them while I took the picture) Now you'll start to notice is that neither of these look very feline-like! Well that's because I don't actually have a lot of gear for my feline kintype (or theriotype whatever you prefer to call it) I already feel very feline in this body so I don't buy gear for it! These ears and tail are actually for a different kintype but since that kintype isn't a soft fluffy house cat it doesn't get a place on this blog and needs to leave (This is a joke I am joking here! I don't talk about my other kintypes because I have an issue where I make too many separate Tumblr blogs and this kintype already has one specific to it and my experiences with being that kintype) Anyway this tail is my favourite of the tails I own however I've also had it for years and my sisters cat (not the one that attacked me throughout making this. that ones mine) found it a few times.. So its a bit battered and now 'retired' which means I don't wear it and it gets a comfy life on my wall to be admired for its beauty and to pay homage to its life<3

-Necklace! Speaking of not at all feline-ish gear here's the necklace I wear every single day! (Extra info! I took this off to take a picture and my cat did actually manage to pull it off the table and ever since I put it back on he's been looking at me like I'm next)

Now I actually do have a story for this! A few months ago when I was looking through my drawers I found the wolf tag and was brought back to when I was but a child (10-11) and I first got it! At that time I had it on a chain necklace which eventually broke as chains do and I loved it so much I put it away so it wouldn't get lost and then forgot about it! So of course when I found it and had since gotten a mostly rope necklace I knew what I had to do for that little 10 year old kid that lives inside me.. I went to the store and got a dogtag as well because I had been meaning to do that with the necklace anyway! Okay so that's all because I've spent an actual hour making this lol and I don't want it to be too word heavy (it already is and I'm sorry) I'm really glad to hear from you again catkin anon! I hope you also have a wonderful day :>

#catkin anon #☆ Catkin anon #catkin #cat therian #therian #therianthropy #domestic cat kin #feline therian #felinekin #therian gear #otherkin

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acesknights · 9 months

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Final Prayer

- oc x canon [Warlock x Phillip Graves]

Word Count : 782 Summary: Warlock spending his final moments questioning the idea of there possibly being a 'higher being' tags: Character death,religous topics

Note: babies first time uploading a drabble onto tumblr instead of ao3 so i have completely zero clue what i am doing, possibly out of character too but i wrote this at 3am with a lack of sleep.

Warlock didn't consider himself to be religious at all.

Religion is one of those topics that really only get brought up in dire situations, in life or death situations, or even sat on your grandparents porch on a warm summer evening. It's always one of those things that aren't really thought about in a day to day life until you're sat down with another person and either one of you brings it up.

"Shadow 0-1, this is Warlock - how copy?"

Being religious means that you spend your life believing and hoping that a higher and greater being exists and is watching over you. A being that knows each sin one has committed and each good deed one has done.

"Warlock this is Shadow 0-1, hear you loud an' clear"

He never considered himself religious, he was brought up in a Catholic household yet never really took in the lessons all those Sundays at church had tried to tell him.

Religion was a topic he never delved upon in life. He'd witnessed his own fair share of soldiers cry out for their mother's or even start praying before having any remaining will of life get drained from them moments later.

Religion is one of those topics that really only get brought up in dire situations.

"Sir- you ever consider yourself religious..?"

Yet here he was, layed down on a patch of discoloured and drought-induced grass, his ghillie suit caked in a mixture of dried up mud and his own blood.

"I'd like to consider m'self religious warlock"

Adrian was said to never consider himself religious.

Yet in that moment he had caught himself starting to shakily place one of his hands onto his heart, its pace unsteady - ready to finally go to rest in the confines of its bone and muscle cage.

And prayed.

Prayed to make it out of this one.

Prayed to be able to see his loved ones face just one more time.

"And you? You consider yourself religious at all hun?"

'Hun'

By holy god would he miss hearing those three lettered words of endearment.

"warlock?.."

How long has he been like this? Laying on the grass, a gaping hole in his side, a hole that housed the bullet from the enemy.

Lucky shot

Time felt slow, too slow. Painstakingly and unbearably slow.

Was a higher being taking pity on his poor mortal life? Was a god watching over him?

For once Adrian hoped so.

Hope

"Adrian?.. Speak to me dammit!"

"phil, sir- 'm not making it"

A small chuckle had left his soft lips, a chuckle he never thought he'd have to hear. Something he didn't think anyone would have to hear at all. Did bleeding out always take this long?

He'd never consider himself to be the type of person to get down on their knees at an alter and pray away all their sins, ask for forgiveness from the lord or even pray for others. Yet here he was, tears pricking up in the corner of his eyes, rethinking his entire life and his actions in the last few moments of his rather short and uneventful life.

"not enough time.. For assistance.. Just want to... hear you talk a little bit more"

Talk, he can talk, talk to his dying lover who promised they'd end up retired, sat on the old wooden porch on Phillips Country ranch in the southern parts of texas. Perhaps with a dog, a German shepherd would've been nice. Perhaps even a few grey hairs starting to show up in either of their hair.

Oh would he have loved to see that ranch Phillip promised him the night before that he'd take him to. The same night they were sitting in his office, sharing a small bottle of brandy.. or was it whiskey?

"You did good dear, proud of ya - i'll take you to that ranch another' time hm?"

Everything sounded muffled for him now, his vision fading in an uneven and unfamiliar pattern. Shaky breaths leaving his lips as he weakly nodded.

Our Father, who art in heaven,

Breath in

hallowed be thy name;

thy kingdom come;

Fade out

thy will be done;

on earth as it is in heaven.

Fade in

Give us this day our daily bread.

Breath out

And forgive us our trespasses,

Breath in

as we forgive those who trespass against us.

...

Breath out.

Warlock didn't consider himself to be religious at all. The thought of religion only crossed his mind once more as he lay on his grass covered deathbed. Small,sharp,breaths filling his ears as he finally accepted the fact that this higher being is granting him the time to forever lay and rest.

#fanfic #fanfiction #drabble #oc x canon #oc drabbles #phillip graves #cod #cod oc #oc death #non canon oc death #not sure yet on that last tag #religion #catholicism #call of duty #cod mw2 #aceswriting

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animebaby00 · 2 years

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Barbeques and Boundaries (Koushi Sugawara x IBS! Reader)

A/N: Hello everyone! I’m back with a new story! Only this time, things are a little bit different.

So I’m going to share something about myself. Just like the reader within this story, I too, suffer from IBS, and for those who don’t know, it's a condition that affects the stomach and the intestinal tract. Certain foods can cause symptoms such as bloating, cramping, and difficulties using the bathroom. Different types exist such as IBS-D or IBS-C, and sometimes, someone can even suffer from both.

It's a chronic illness and there is no cure but there are ways to quell its clutches. It occurred to me that I am someone who occasionally searches for fics about a reader who has a chronic illness and I have seen a few requesters on Tumblr and such who make the same requests. But overall, I haven’t found that many so I thought I’d write one myself to recognize those who also suffer from IBS or just chronic illnesses in general.

I understand if this story isn’t for everyone, but it hits home for me in a lot of ways and I hope I can provide some support and understanding for my fellow individuals who go through the same thing.

That being said, I hope you all enjoy :)

WARNING: Non-professional medical talk (I did indeed do research while also throwing in some of my own experiences) and sensitive, possibly triggering topics below.

You loved being the secretary of the Karasuno Boy’s Volleyball Team.

Sure, you had to take a lot of notes and keep records and create backup strategies which required a lot of deep concentration, but it wasn’t anything to bat an eyelash at. It brought you immense amounts of joy to be around so many fun, bright, wonderful individuals who never ceased to give you a good time. And it was something you deeply appreciated considering that it was your last year to be surrounded by it.

Being a third year certainly had its perks, but at the same time, it came with aspects that you couldn’t really give a rats ass about. All the talk about “seniority” and “importance”. It meant nothing to you. People were people, no matter if they were a year or two younger than you. You all had goals, aspirations, things you wanted to do.

You were content with what you had. The friends you had made and the connections you had created. You even had a stable boyfriend who was on the team as well and you absolutely adored him.

All in all, you were just happy to be a part of the little family that you had all become, and you were a firm believer that family stuck together and told each other everything.

“When all of these practice matches are over with, apparently the coaches are treating us all to some barbeque!”

Well…for the most part.

As soon as Daichi had said that, you knew there was no way around it. There was no smooth way to teeter-totter around without having to fully explain yourself. So you had no choice but to go along and act like everything was a-ok.

But we all know that lies come back to bite, and boy oh boy did it bite you hard.

A painful groan escaped your parted lips as you turned onto your side, a heating pad pressed up against your belly, its temperature on the highest setting.

It had been a few hours since the barbeque that had put an end to the training camp that Karasuno had been invited to by Nekoma, and you had long retired to your room for the night with the easy excuse that you were just tired. And while that was true…

You made to leave out the part that you were absolutely suffering.

It had hit you like a bus on your way back to the hotel you were all staying at. The uncomfortable, bloating pressure that occurred whenever you ate something that didn’t agree with you. And since you had just eaten mass amounts of rich proteins smothered in different sauces with a plethora of different vegetables and rice, it was impossible to name the culprit.

Stupid bowels. Why couldn’t they just show you a bit of mercy? Couldn’t they have just waited to have a flare up when you were at home by yourself? Allow you to spend one, last, nice night with your friends before you head home tomorrow?

No, of course not. Because that would have been too easy.

Now on your back, you puffed out an exasperated sigh, your left hand smoothing over your bare stomach. Even the soft cotton of your favorite sleepwear had been too restrictive, so you moved to a cropped, loose fitted tank top and your baggiest pair of sweatpants that were sitting as low as possible against your hip bone.

Maybe you should have just swallowed your pride. Should have told everyone about how sensitive you were to food and how careful you had to be with portions. How you chose not to eat rice or bread as much as the average person because it helped with flare ups and that you always had heating pads and medications with you to help.

But that little voice in the back of your head told you ‘No. It’s not necessary. They won’t understand. You’ve been fine all this time. What’s a little bit longer?”

Not many people knew about your condition, minus a few VERY close friends and family. Out of everyone on the team, only Kiyoko was aware of the issues you had with food. Knew why you never bought lunch from the cafeteria and why you had brought your own freshly made bentos to school every day since the 7th grade. She had even asked you that day if you would be okay and you brushed it off saying that you’d be fine.

On the bus ride back to the hotel, she had sent you several, worried glances, and it made your heart clench with guilt.

You were thankful though, dear god you were thankful, that he didn’t notice.

But…you almost…wished he did.

A small part of you wanted him to know. More for your sake than his. Each day that went by made you feel more and more guilty, especially now.

You should be out there with him, spending time with him and all of your friends. Not cooped up in your room by yourself. You’d be miserable either way, regardless of the choice made, but you would rather deal with it on your own than have someone ask you if you were okay every five minutes.

Because explaining yourself didn’t sound too great either.

“Ugh…” you muttered, half of your face buried in your pillow, “...This sucks.”

A buzz rumbled from your pocket, and you reached your arm downwards to pull your phone out, the screen bright and showing off a recent notification. It was a message.

Immediately, your insides twisted into a pretzel, further adding to the discomfort once you saw who it was from.

Suga: Hey baby, are you doing okay?

You bit your lip.

Crap.

Using your arm, you hoisted yourself up onto your side, grimacing at the ache in your lower abdomen.

You were well aware that there wasn’t much you could say, because no matter what, Sugawara would constantly check up on you for the duration of the night. Honestly, you thought he would have texted you a lot sooner, but his teammates had probably kept him on his toes ever since you had all gotten back to the hotel.

Your index finger quickly typed a reply.

I’m fine. Just tired. These last few days were pretty exhausting.

Another text came only 30 seconds later.

Suga: Yeah, I feel you there. But you looked pretty wiped on the bus. Almost like you were sick or something.

A lump planted itself in your throat.

So he HAD noticed.

Another text pinged in your chat.

Suga: I didn’t want to say anything to worry everyone else…but as soon as you left to go to your room I felt something was up. I would’ve texted sooner, but I had to help Coach give some pointers to Hinata and the others.

A teeny smile fell onto your face. Called it.

Don’t worry about it. I just need some rest is all. I’ll be totally fine by tomorrow. Promise.

Suga: Okay…are you gonna come down for dinner in a bit? They’re serving hot pot tonight.

Oof. You didn’t even want to THINK about food. And the barbeque had only ended a mere 4 hours ago! How the hell was everyone already hungry?

It was then that you remembered the events of the last few days. Nonstop practicing, drills, stamina building exercises…

Sports required a lot of energy, and you were dealing with a team of 12 active, boisterous, growing young men so…you supposed it made sense.

Your fingers typed out another reply.

I don’t think so…I’m still…full from earlier. Honestly, I probably ate a little too much. I might not eat until tomorrow night ! Lol >.<

You hoped that the somewhat evident playfulness in your text would satiate him a bit. And it��s not like you were completely lying. You very well probably wouldn’t consume anything else until the next day or at least until you felt a bit emptier.

The area surrounding you was dead silent as you waited for Sugawara to send you another text. 1 minute turned into 5, then 5 into 10. Maybe, just maybe, your silly banter worked and he dropped the topic completely. Or maybe he was dragged off by Daichi or Asahi, too busy to worry about you any further as they all sat down for dinner.

Bleh. Once again, you grimaced at the throbbing pain in your stomach at the thought of food, hugging the heating pad harder against your skin. You’d probably suffer a bit of a burn later, but it was a small price to pay in comparison to your current predicament.

Too lazy to pick up your phone again, you lifted your head up and glanced at the clock on the wall.

6:45 PM.

It had been about 3 hours since you took your last dose of medication to try and help move things along, but you hadn’t had any urge to go and relieve yourself, further proving how royally you screwed yourself over. And that itself created another crappy (no pun intended) possibility.

Trips to the bathroom alllll night long.

Lucky you.

For the millionth time in the last 5 minutes, you rolled over on your side, now scrunched up in a fetal position.

You felt like absolute shit, inside and out. And not just physically. Mentally too. It’s not like you wanted to have this problem. To have to lie and make excuses for your own sake. To lock yourself in your room away from everyone because it was too painful to dress decently while simply sitting in a chair or on the floor because it felt like your insides were being pumped up like the tire on a bicycle.

But…what else could you do?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

You fiercely wiped at your eyes that had suddenly started overflowing with tears, far too upset to continue thinking about how pathetic you sounded in your own mind. About what the team must be saying about you right now. About…everything.

Since there wasn’t anything else to do, you supposed you could try and sleep. But you doubted it would be an easy feat with the tossing and turning you’d been doing for the last few hours to try and get somewhat comfortable. But sleep would allow the following day to come sooner, and you wanted nothing more than to be able to act somewhat normal again around everyone else.

With all the strength you could muster, you pulled yourself up from your futon, hissing at the tightness that fell forwards in your gut when the force of gravity hit. Even though they were as low as possible on your waist, your sweatpants still felt like a vice grip. The light pressure of the elastic was still enough to make you uncomfortable, and you made the silent vow to take them off as soon as you were back in bed.

You slowly sauntered over to the wall where the light switch was and reached your hand out towards it, index finger centimeters away…

When there was a knock at your door.

You froze in place.

Shit.

For the next few seconds, you remained still, hoping that whoever it was would assume that you were asleep and would go away so as to not bother you.

However, your plan was short lived as another round of knocks rumbled from the other side of the door. And you then remembered that there were cracks underneath each one, making it possible for light to emit on the ground from the other side, and since the light in your room was still on…

Shit times two.

You realized that there was no way out of this, so you did the only thing you could think of. As quickly as you could, you cleaned up the evidence of medication and your heating pad by shoving it all into your tote, then you grabbed an extra blanket and wrapped it fully around your torso, making sure everything was hidden.

Now that you were somewhat satisfied, you allowed your legs to carry you to the door of your room. Grabbing the handle, you pulled, allowing just enough space to open so you could see who was on the other side.

And when you did, your stomach flipped.

Light gray hair, pale skin, and kind hazel eyes, the left one accented by a dashing little birthmark that creased when he smiled.

You swallowed.

“S-Suga?”

“Hey.” he waved, his lips stretching upwards into a smile at the sight of you, “Can I come in?”

“I…uh…”

Come on come on come on! Say something! Before he notices something’s up!

“T-totally! Y-yeah! …O-of course.”

Oh my GOD I am so blowing this…

You moved out of the way to allow Sugawara to enter, trying to hide the grimace on your face at both your cringiness and the ebbs of pain that were still dancing throughout your abdomen. Closing the door, you turned back around to find that Suga was making his way now to the small chabudai that sat in the middle of the room next to your futon.

A cold sweat suddenly arose on the back of your neck as you made your way over to him.

“Not that I uh…mind your company but…what are you doing here? I thought you were having dinner with everyone else.”

At the sound of your voice, Sugawara looked up at you and smiled softly, a nonchalant hand waving off to the side.

“I was.” he answered simply, moving his body to sit, “But when I saw your text I got worried so I wanted to come and make sure you were okay.”

“I-I see…”

Of course he did. Because Sugawara wouldn't be Sugawara if he didn't.

You lowered yourself down to sit across from him, and your eyes caught sight of a white bag at his side, a red logo marked and crinkled across the front, closed off to the point where you couldn't make out anything inside.

“What’s with the bag?” you inquired, and Sugawara merely grinned and lifted it up so that it was now on top of the chabudai.

“Nothing much really…actually it caught me by surprise, but there’s a small convenience store on the bottom floor. Hot pot sounded a little too heavy so I grabbed a few things to snack on instead, along with some other things.”

You watched quietly as Sugawara pulled what looked to be a package of onigiri from the bag, along with 2 bottles of barley tea. He stopped his actions, hand still in the bag, and looked over at you.

“Is your stomach still bothering you?”

You flinched a bit.

Of all the topics to bring up. But you couldn’t stay silent, so instead, you nodded.

“Yeah...a little bit.”

Understatement.

But as soon as you said that, Suga’s face lit up even more, and you quietly watched as he rummaged about in the bag.

“I had a feeling.” he chirped happily, “ I wasn’t sure if you had anything but I didn’t want to call you and defeat the purpose. So I just thought I would grab a few things to help.”

One by one, he pulled a few different objects out from their confines, holding each one up for you to see.

“We have some acid reducers, indigestion tablets, ginger tea, and I even picked up some instant rice porridge and miso soup for you. I know you aren’t very hungry now, but you should try and eat something light when you can.”

The ball of anxiety in your stomach only continued to grow the more Sugawara talked. He had gone to all this trouble to make you feel better. Had taken time away from his team to come and check on you…

And you didn’t have the gall to tell him that none of it would do any good.

“Y/N? Are you alright?”

“W-what?”

It didn’t register that Sugawara had stopped talking. Not only that, but he had moved significantly closer to you. His hand was now resting on your thigh, and the other was slowly moving to lay against your forehead. You were totally frozen as he swept your bangs to the side, his finger soft and chilled against your flushed skin.

“You feel warm,” he noted, the smile on his face disappearing, “You don’t have a fever do you?”

Sighing, you shook your head, both of your hands coming up to cup his palm in between your own, causing the blanket that had been around your shoulders to fall to the floor.

It was at that moment you decided that enough was enough.

“No…I don’t. And I don’t have an upset stomach either…not in the way you think, that is.”

Sugawara blinked.

“What do you mean?"

Biting your lip, you looked him in the eye, the utmost sincerity floating in your E/C orbs.

“Listen…I appreciate you coming here to try and help. And I can’t begin to tell you how sweet and thoughtful you are. But…none of this stuff is going to help me.”

Here goes…

“I’ve been…keeping something from you…for awhile. And I’ve wanted to tell you for the longest time but I wasn’t sure how. It’s not exactly the easiest thing to explain nor is it the easiest thing to deal with but…I can’t hide it from you anymore.”

And thus, you told him everything, including a full description about what IBS actually was.

Your first experiences with it, what it can do to your body, what you did to try and quell it. How you didn’t exactly have to refrain from eating certain foods, but you knew what could happen as a result if something didn’t agree with you so you were always careful. How it made you nervous in larger gatherings and stumped your social life. You explained the medications you took, your methods of care, and what a flare up was.

And he caught on just like you thought he would.

“So when you went to your room to rest tonight” he said slowly, “You were actually…?”

“Having a flare up?” you finished, “Yeah…that’s right.”

“And…on the bus?”

“Mmhm…that’s when it started.”

Pressing his lips together, Sugawara looked downwards at your midsection, and you could see the resentment dancing in his eyes. With a fond smile, you moved to wrap your arms around his torso, nose burying itself in his hair. Hands made their way up your back, and you hummed as Sugawara pulled you close to him, and you had to make a note at how carefully he was holding you, as if any form of strength would cause you pain.

He was seriously too considerate for words.

“Hey, don’t go beating yourself up over this.” you urged softly, “ I’ll be okay.”

“I know.” he whispered, his thumb delicately stroking your back, “But I wish there was something I could do. I can’t begin to imagine how uncomfortable you must be right now…”

Moving his hands to your shoulders, he gently pushed you back, his pretty hazel eyes burning with the desire to assist.

“Is there anything else you usually do to…you know…help get things moving? Anything at all?”

“Not really…” you murmured,“...I mean there’s…one way… but I don’t think you-”

“What is it?” he butted in, but you only frowned and shook your head.

“No, no, really...it’s fine.” You looked shamefully off to the side, your voice growing quiet, “It might not even work anyways N-not to mention it's kinda…gross…”

It wasn’t too long after you said that before you felt the grip on your shoulders loosen, and a new sensation of fingers under your chin took its place. Your head was guided forwards once more, leaving you with no choice but to become locked in Sugawara’s gaze, his expression an odd combination of sweet and confused.

“I could never be grossed out by you.” he whispered, “ Never in a million years. Besides, isn't it kind of biased for you to say that when I don’t even know what it is?”

You pressed your lips together “I-”

“Y/N, I WANT to help you.” he stated firmly, “ After hearing all of this, there is no way I’m just going to leave you as you are without doing anything. That’s not the kind of person I am. Right now, you are my top priority. Nothing else. And now that the situation is out in the open, I want to address it however I can. So please…”

With the hand that wasn’t under your chin, he moved it so that it rested on his chest, directly over his heart.

“What can I do to help you?”

You were hesitant for a moment, but Sugawara’s calm expression and thoughtful words made any remaining nervousness you had ebb away.

And then, your resolve was clear.

You looked at the hand on his chest and gently grabbed it, your fingers soft around his own.

“Here,” you tugged, “Let’s go over to the futon. It’ll be… easier for me to explain if I’m lying down.”

(A/N: yesyesyes ik. it sounds suspicious. but it's not going where you think it’s going so no gutter brain here okie?)

Sugawara nodded and followed your lead, and after only a couple dozen seconds, you were laid out before him with him sitting criss-cross applesauce at your side, eyeing your every move.

“Okay so I left something out earlier.” you started, “But I have this massager thingy at my house. People usually use it for their backs and shoulders, but I thought that maybe it would be useful for me to have whenever something like this happens. And it usually helps relieve the pressure a bit.”

“Oh, then that’s perfect then!” Sugawara clapped his hands together, “Where is it? I can get it for you.”

“That’s the thing…” scratching the side of your face, you sheepishly looked off to the side, “ I uh…sort of…forgot it. I was so focused on getting to the bus on time that I totally spaced on packing it. W-which leads me to…what I was actually going to ask.”

Looking downwards at your sprawled out body, you slowly peeled your shirt off your skin, and you didn’t miss the way Sugawara's eyes widened upon the exposure of your midsection. It wasn’t that he hadn’t seen it before, nor did it bother him to see it. It was just your stomach.

But it was the state of it that shocked him.

He was able to decipher the difference immediately, as he was aware of how it usually looked. But from how you had described what the effects of a flare up could do to you, it was clear that you hadn’t sugar coated it at all.

There was an obvious bloat across the area of your exposed skin, traveling from your lower belly all the way up to your ribcage, rounding out the area much more than usual. It almost looked like there was a balloon residing under your skin, expanding and shrinking with every inhale and exhale of your body without fully going away.

And then he noticed the sweatpants. You had worn them a number of times before and he had remembered them being rather loose on your frame. But now, they seemed to be squeezing you, supplying you probably little to no comfort.

“Oh Y/N…” he whispered.

“Yeah…it's not too pleasant.” you grimaced, “ Laying down it pretty much the best position for me to be in. Standing or sitting makes it worse.”

Sugawara frowned. He couldn’t imagine how much you had gone through with this. And it was all because of a mere sensitivity to food.

For him, food was a necessity. He gained stamina and muscle from the things he ate and it only helped in the long run. The barbeque for him and everyone else that day had been a godsend. A gift for the body of an athlete.

And all it had done for you was made you miserable.

According to you, IBS didn’t have a cure. It was a trial and error thing with minimal assists. But he was going to do whatever he could to help, no matter what it was.

“So what is it that you need me to do?” he asked gently, “I’m all ears.”

Swallowing back a bit of self conscientiousness, you brought a hand up to your tummy and began tracing dainty shapes across your skin. Sugawara’s eyes followed your movements.

“S-since I don’t have the massager, usually the hands are the next best option. Thing is…it’s not always effective when I do it. Y’know how a foot rub or anything that creates bodily comfort usually feels and works better when someone else does it? S-same case here so…”

Biting your lip, you gestured to Sugawara’s hand that was resting on the floor by your hip.

“D-do you think, “ you stuttered, your face blossoming into a shy crimson, “You could...r-rub my stomach for me?

It was silent for a moment, and you looked off to the side, thinking that maybe you had crossed the line. Afterall, it was an odd request, one that you didn’t deem as normal, especially in your condition.

But then, you felt a shift beside you, and you turned your head back to see that Sugawara had laid himself down next to you, head propped up on a folded elbow while his other hand rested atop yours that had stopped above your belly button.

His head was right next to your, nose almost in your hair, and you felt your heart skip a beat when he pressed a warm, gentle kiss to your temple.

“Of course I can,” he murmured.

“A-are you sure…?”

“Absolutely.” he squeezed your hand softly, “ Though make sure you tell me if I’m hurting you okay? The last thing I want is for you to end up in more pain. So if you’re uncomfortable at any time, don’t feel afraid to speak up.”

At your boyfriend's kind words, you could feel your chest grow tight. You knew he was sweet, selfless, and he did things for other people even if it inconvenienced him (unless it was total bullshit which he never hesitated to call out). And you appreciated him for it.

But for some reason, his decision to help you increased that appreciation more than ever to the point of where you could feel tears of gratitude pooling at the edge of your eyes.

After another kiss, this time to your cheek, Sugawara shooed away your hand with careful fingers so that only his was left sitting atop your tummy. He started off by gently pressing his fingers into your abdomen, moving and checking to see which areas were more bloated in comparison to the others. Then, he switched to his palm, fingers folded slightly inwards, and pushed in a downwards direction, starting from right under your ribcage.

There was an immediate sense of relief, for you could practically feel the sudden shift of pressure moving and breaking apart within your stomach and intestines. Which of course led to the part you were dreading.

The sounds.

With each press of Sugawara’s hand came the odd, but oh so familiar sounds that you had come to know. It was difficult to explain. Something along the lines of a bubble popping. But a thick one, like it had been coated in mud or wet cement. Gurgly, gaseous, wet pockets of something you couldn’t describe.

And it was humiliating.

But, for some reason…he didn’t stop.

Through shameful, lidded eyes, you watched as Sugawara continued rubbing your tummy without a care in the world. His brow was creased and focused on a task so simple, making sure that he didn’t cause you any additional discomfort. And you could’ve sworn you saw his gaze soften painfully with each orchestrated syllable your gut decided to emit.

“Suga…really…y-you don’t-”

A finger fell to your lips, shutting you up entirely, and Sugawara’s voice flowed like honey through your ears.

“It’s okay…” he reassured, “Just try to relax. I’ve got you.”

For as long as you could remember, relaxing during a flare up was hard.

You were always on edge, preparing for discomfort, preparing for pain, and when it came, it was a rodeo of what would work and what wouldn’t. Doing things yourself to try and make yourself feel better, putting in effort after effort, then becoming upset when nothing helped the way you wanted it to.

But now…you had help. You had someone who was willing to take care of you. Someone who accepted the truth and jumped in without question.

So finally, you stopped fighting it, and allowed yourself to lay back as Sugawara’s soft hands gently kneaded at your abdomen.

He worked diligently, quietly, minus the few times he checked in to make sure he wasn’t hurting you, to which you replied ‘no’ to every, single time.

As the minutes went by, you could feel a difference. The pressure pent up in your gut was slowly dissipating, growing to be more bearable with each gentle push of Sugawara’s hand. Of course, that didn’t go without more discomforting noises, but Sugawara never said a word. Instead, he gifted you with kisses and soft hushes in your whimpers of dread, signaling to you that there wasn’t any need to feel the way that you did.

You weren’t aware of how much time had passed before Sugawara sat up, his hand leaving your tummy to wrap around your shoulder while the other grasped your hand.

“How do you feel?” he asked gently, helping you sit up, “Any better?’

“Oh, yes.” you breathed out, “Much, much, better…”

“Are you sure? You’re not hurting?”

You nodded, hand ghosting over your stomach.

“I still ache a bit, but it'll go away by tomorrow. There’s only so much you can do, but it still feels a lot better than it did.”

Now sitting up fully, you looked down at Sugawara’s hand that was still encompassed around yours and gave it a squeeze.

“Thank you, Suga,” you whispered, “I mean it…and not just for this but…for everything. For listening and understanding and…for accepting me. You don’t know much it means to me.”

Sugawara smiled, and you fell into the palm he placed against your cheek.

‘It’s no problem at all.” he assured, “Besides, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t help you out? The last thing I want is to be considered a jerk.”

“I don’t think you could be a jerk even if you tried.”

“My team sometimes begs to differ.”

“Please, that’s just them whining because you’re typically always right.”

“Well aren’t you sweet?”

“I try.”

Amidst your innocence banter, Sugawara snickered and you followed suit, the both of you breaking into a fit of giggles.

It was a refreshing turn of events after the evening you had. A much needed break, and it honestly made you feel a little bit lighter.

And dare you even say…braver.

“Speaking of the team,” you said, voice a little raspy from laughing, “I think it’s about time that I tell them, too. About my IBS I mean. It’s not fair that they’ve told me so much while I’ve been sitting here hiding away.”

Sugawara nodded, “Well that’s your call to make. But rest assured. I’m positive they’ll think of you the same way as they did before. And I hope you know that it's the same with me.”

With the hand that was once around your shoulders, Sugawara moved to cup your cheek once more, thumb dancing on your soft skin.

“It doesn’t matter what ailment you have or what your differences are. If you have to eat a bit differently than others or take medications. It doesn’t matter so long as you take care of yourself and stay healthy in the way that benefits you. Because in the end, you’ll always be the Y/N we know and care about.”

You laughed breathily, hot tears of relief falling in rivulets down your cheeks. Unable to control yourself, you flung yourself into Sugawara’s chest, hugging him close to you, to which he returned by squeezing your waist. .

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” you whispered.

“I can recall a few times,” he teased, “But most of the time its been during a match over a screaming crowd.”

“Hm…guess I’ll have to fix that then.’

Pulling back a bit, you looked up, transfixed at the sight of the dashing smile that had strung itself onto your boyfriend’s face.

An urge pushed you forwards and you soon found your lips on his, blissful, sweet, and an easy convey of those words that were pulsating within your heart.

“I love you Sugawara…and thank you.”

“Your illness does not define you. Your strength and courage does.” - Unknown

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyu x reader #sugawara koushi #sugawara x reader #x reader #reader insert #chronic illness #chronic pain #ibs #irritable bowel disease #irritable bowel syndrome #chronic illness awareness #reader has ibs #fluff #emotional baggage #emotional hurt #tummy trouble

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aerialworms · 1 year

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Please vote! I need external motivation! (I'm still posting Watching Over You, I just need to choose something to finish writing as well)

Summaries:

All of these are endgame Destiel!

Star Trek Fusion AU: I have two fics in this 'verse written but i need to do the prequel first. Castiel, a half-Vulcan Starfleet officer, is appointed as the new Captain of the USS Impala after Bobby retires, keeping Dean as First Officer. Dean does not take well to that. Enemies to FWB to lovers, spread out over at least three different fics! I also made a post rambling about this universe here

Dragon!Cas fic: Set during s9ish when Cas' grace is low - he can regenerate it by spending time in his true form and shutting down most higher brain functions. He essentially turns into a little dragon who gets real clingy around Dean, who is half-annoyed, half-endeared by it. Pretty much just fluff and shenanigans :3

Demon!Dean: Set during the demon dean arc in s10 while Cas is still stealing grace. Crowley captures him and offers him to Dean as a present, and Cas tries to convince Dean to come home while Dean pretends like he's definitely a big bad demon who could easily kill Cas if he wanted, he just. doesn't want to. Angst and smut with a hopeful ending.

Cat!Cas fic: Might end up as a comic, actually - I've got the first four pages sketched out but I don't know where i'm going with it :/ Cas gets turned into a cat by a witch and Dean comes to find him, not realising the injured cat he's been caring for and venting to about Cas *is* Cas. Pining!Dean and hurt/comfort for Cas!

Interactive time loop confession fix it: An interactive fic, made using Twine. You play as Dean, stuck in a time loop of the confession until you find a way to save Cas and break free

Cas Swap: (post-confession fix it) In two seperate universes, at the same time, two versions of Dean perform a spell to resurrect their own Cas from the Empty. Canon!Cas is brought back into a world with a Dean his counterpart has been in a relationship with since Tombstone. Canon!Dean gets that AU!Cas, who is unafraid of showing his love for Dean, but also won't put up with any of Dean's bullshit. Each set of Dean-and-Cas-es have to work together to get Cas back to his own universe, and deal with their issues along the way.

The Wrong Avalon: A BBC Merlin/SPN crossover, with endgame Destiel and Merthur! Set vaguely pre-s12 of SPN and post s5 of Merlin. The British Men of Letters have been trying to raise the mythical King Arthur from the dead for some time. When they finally succeed, however, he does not come up in the UK. Instead, he surfaces in Lake Avalon, Michigan, where two hunters and a put-upon angel discover him. Since he can only speak Old English, he becomes fast friends with Cas, which totally doesn't make Dean jealous at all, but he still mourns for his old life and family. When he discovers that Merlin may still be alive, he dedicates himself to finding him, but when the BMoL close in, intent on using Arthur for their own gain, Arthur must rely on his new friends, as well as his oldest one, to gain his freedom and his happiness.

Btw if you wanna know when I post these, you can follow me on AO3 (same username as tumblr) and/or ask to be tagged!

#original poast #my writing #spn #destiel #tales from the uss impala #polls #i partially need help with decision making and partially want to post about these for accountability #i will post all of them someday! i just need to decide which next!#...and i also kinda want to check if people are interested 😅#especially in the star trek one and the merlin crossover one #i dont usually do AUs or crossovers but i just think the characters would get on so well #i actually have a dean/riker pwp half written for that fusion au too lmao #it's not relevant to the main story i just think they would absolutely bone #riker is deans type i will die on this hill #oh yknow what? new hc. dean had a crush on riker when he was a kid #just like his crush on indiana jones and clint eastwood #fic rec #(kinda.)

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painless-innit-colourful · 2 years

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oooo ok:

🙂, 👼, 🧨, 💏, and also the question about staged finale, the emoji wasn't showing up for me.

Thanks for the ask!

🙂 - Should Dream get a redemption arc?

NO! :) I want to see that motherf'cker absolutely go to town on the big bad evil front. I'm talking the return of the S2 dominance and control, perhaps flavoured with some of the string-pulling puppet master of S1 - hiding in the walls, hiding in the walls. I really liked the Sam Prison streams because it brought that back: the lying, the manipulation, the brutality. I want that b'stard to stand at the top of the world and laugh, and then I want him to have his throne pulled out from under him, and I want to watch him fall and die surrounded by the people he once called friends. So yeah, I don't want a c!Dream redemption arc. I want him to be worse, and then I want him to be killed by Sapnap or Tubbo or Tommy. I don't think there's a satisfying ending to the DSMP where Dream is redeemed.

👼 - Should Friend/Shroud/Michael/Fran be off limits for greifing?

My answer here is going to be pretty similar to someone else's I've seen, but it is as follows: Friend no, Shroud, Michael and Fran yes. Friend has died so many times now it basically doesn't matter: Ghostbur's in limbo, so the main emotional crux is gone, and besides, Friend has infinite canon lives :') Shroud doesn't really matter lore-wise, nor do we know if cc!Tommy is attached to him (he seems to be, but he's perpetually semi-in-character on the DSMP), but we inniters here on tumblr have become so attached I will personally go to war for that spider. Michael, to quote Technoblade, is a BABY. Killing him would be so depressing. I liked the kidnapping plot because we got to see Tubbo go off but thank goodness he's home safe. And finally, Fran deserves pensioner's protection. She's been around so long, the server's oldest pet deserves to retire from this bs and chill.

🧨 - Who is most at fault for November 16th?

Okay, here we go. A lot of people share blame for the undue... everything that happened on Nov 16th. Wilbur, Schlatt, Philza, Bad and Antfrost, Eret (from previous events); I could go on about all of them for a while. But if I had to narrow it down, it would absolutely be Dream and Technoblade. I firmly believe the point of no return was crossed when Techno fired at Tubbo. In that moment, the peace shattered. Wilbur heard it from the button room, and I bet in his mind it was the last piece of confirmation he needed to be convinced the old, peaceful, wonderful L'Manberg was dead and buried. In fact, it was in the moments before Techno shot that Dream dropped in that there in fact was a traitor! Maybe, just maybe, someone would've worked out where Wilbur was if Techno hadn't started monologing...

But on the level above Techno, supreme sh't himself, Dream. He egged Techno into attacking on Nov 16th while Tubbo was making his speech. He pushed Wilbur down his dark path from the shadows and provided him with the TNT. He supported Schlatt after obtaining the revive book, let him die in the camarvan, then laughed when L'Manberg exploded. He orchestrated everyone's downfalls. Right before he died, Wilbur said "Manberg didn't win, Pogtopia didn't win. I won." Really, I think the winner in this war was Dream.

💏 - Is TNTduo /r?

YES. OH MY GOD. Okay, romantic? Maybe not (as the aromantic in the room, I'm contractually obligated to say that), but! They absolutely did it during Manberg/Pogtopia. Sorry Wilbur Soot. I refuse to believe there was not an affair, in which two stressed out, tired idiots with too much sexual tension ran into each other in the wrong place at the right time and decided, "f'ck it." Enhances the Las Nevadas viewing experience immensely. That's just how it is when you both know something about each other no one else in the room does.

🥸 - Did Staged Finale negatively impact Punz/Tommy's character arc?

Okay, you should have not have enabled me to talk about the Staged Finale thing, because I have had this rant simmering since November. I don't think it really negatively affects Tommy's arc - Punz and him didn't interact much during S3. However! My second biggest issue with it is that it means Punz's character doesn't really make any sense in hindsight. And my biggest issue with it is that it really messes with the theme of the season being attachment.

Firstly, Punz. Before Staged Finale, I quite liked Punz. A mercenary whom Dream was far too trusting of, originally keeping tabs on the L'Manbergians (who remembers the S P Y tweet from the eve of Doomsday?) who either receives a bigger payout from Tommy, or takes pity on the kid, and leads the greater population of the SMP to Dream's evil lair just in time to save them. I personally like the latter interpretation: it later lined up even better when, after Punz was told Tommy was killed in the prison, he said "But I saved him..." despite being very under the Egg's influence. And his Egg involvement was cool!

And then Staged Finale happened, and he was just... on Dream's side the whole time? What, he got monumentally distracted by the Egg? Dream didn't seem to trust him to get him out in the first place, considering how he left the blueprints specifically in a place Techno would recognise. And the bit that really annoys me is that Tommy death line. There's no need for that line. Punz is in with the Eggpire, and Puffy's already p'ssed at them. He doesn't need to prove anything to anyone. Why say it if you genuinely didn't care about the kid? And then, when Dream gets out, they're all buddy buddy again. It doesn't line up to me.

(I am not going to talk at length about how little sense Staged Finale makes overall because I need to eat at some point tonight, but just know I think it makes no sense. Why the hell would you intentionally get yourself trapped in a maximum security prison. Why would you want the whole server to see you about to kill someone they generally like. None of it makes a lick of sense and I like to ignore it at every opportunity.)

And finally, my theme rant. Themes in media and literature mean a lot to me. The theme of S2 is Attachment, and it's the easiest one to determine. The whole season is laced with it: the pursuit of the discs, the compasses representing Tommy and Tubbo's attachment to the other, the Butcher Army threatening Carl, New L'Manberg and Ghostbur and Friend and Doomsday, and the goddam hall of attachments in the finale. Dream even tells Tommy he's important because he brought countries and caring for items and pets and attachment to the server. Attachment is the key.

Tommy's interactions with this theme are always that it's worth it, even when it hurts. He has to keep pursuing the discs. He fights for L'Manberg because it's what he has left of Wilbur. Even after Dream's 'I cut all my attachments and it made me stronger' speech, he responds simply "How do you not hurt?", unable to imagine an existence where he doesn't care deeply. And in the end, attachment saves him. When Punz tells people what he told them, they go because they care about these two kids enough to come to their aid.

And Dream? He cuts all his attachments off, refusing to care about items, cutting off Sapnap and George as early as the start of S2 so they can never be used against him. And then Sapnap comes to put himself between Dream and the Clingy Duo when it matters. Because he cut all his attachments (except to Tommy), he has no one left to defend him, and so is thrown in the prison to rot for a year and be tortured until Techno breaks him out to repay the favour. Staged Finale throws a massive spanner in that because it undermines the simple message of the S2 finale: attachment saved Tommy and Tubbo, and cutting his brought down Dream. If Dream has Punz, his status as the lone wolf who thought he could control the server by being above it all is undercut by the fact it's all a ploy. This is the part that annoys me most about it, because the theme and resolution previously worked so well.

At the end of the day, I mostly choose to forget Staged Finale happened, and I will probably continue to ignore it unless they make something cool out of this weird twist. And it's not hard to please me with this kind of stuff, so we'll see. I may be a convert yet.

#hey if one person tells me to put my staged finale rant in a separate post and finish it i will because goddammit it's one of the only thin #things on this server i actively dislike as an event #doomsday? love it (painful but i love it.) the prison break? hell yeah. tubbo killing aimsey? i can justify it. i like it.#staged finale just annoys me on such a fundamental level- i need to stop it's nearly 8 o'clock and i haven't eaten. the hyperfocus is real #dream smp #crim speaks #dreamwastaken #ghostbur #tommyinnit #technoblade #wilbur soot #quackity #tntduo #punz #thanks for the ask sorry for talking forever about it

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