#this kid COULD NOT have more famous uncles if he tried. just drowning in famous and esteemed unclage

[leatherbookmark]

i have like a page left until that moment but really when you think about it it’s so funny. you have jl -- the heir of THE jin sect. WHO the hell doesn’t know lj. and then you look him in the face and ask him who his uncle is. WHO his UNCLE (jiang cheng) is. incredible

#this kid COULD NOT have more famous uncles if he tried. just drowning in famous and esteemed unclage #crawling all over him like weevils. if you care #liveshrimping #aaaaaa god i made a meme about that didn't i

[hes-writer]

Errors

Summary; harry comes over for dinner

Warnings: angst and fluff for this one

Word Count: 3234 words

A/N: possibly the last part of the Tarnish series. Thank you for all the support that you have given me and @devilinbetweenthesheet-s. This was a month worth of work and I cannot believe that I was actually consistent with the updates (except for this one, which is 2 days late lol). 

Read till the end for a sneak peek of part 6!!

This is Part Five of the Tarnish series.

____

Harry felt out of place.

As a world-renowned pop star, he was used to being paid a different kind of attention in most of the places he went to. He should be used to it. Harry had to take measures in order not to get recognized for stepping into a local coffee shop. Even in hot weather, his recognizable tattoos gave easy access for fans to whisper amongst each other, wondering if it was the right time to ask for a photo or merely share a conversation with him. 

 His voice--the thing that made him as famous as he is now--was tinted into his fans’ heads. Recognition blaring in their ears when the deep, gruff tone projected the open air. It would be quite disturbing if he had to change the pitch for everyday errands. Harry would rather feel out of place than go to extremes to change who he was. 

 This lifestyle was something that he was used to, having been under the scrutiny of the public eye for a little over a decade now. But Harry knew that Y/N was a small, town girl practically bickered and poked until she was forced to cough something out to taint Harry’s name in vain. From the way, he preferred sniffing his nose into a hanky instead of a Kleenex. The way he snored loudly when his nostrils felt dry. The way his hair isn’t as naturally curly as it appears to be. All of these things were the borderline crossing of his privacy that she could’ve taken to the press, urging in many articles written about his odd habits or preferences.

 Not that he thought Y/N was that type of person to spill secrets in the midst of desperation, but Harry had cheated on her for God’s sake. If she did run her mouth, Harry wouldn’t blame her. He was horrible to her; cheated on her for a year, not even bothering to tell Y/N that his affection was teetering in favour of not hurting her and wanting to keep his side relationship a secret for a taste of adrenaline that came with his less-than boring life. 

 Harry left her alone while she was going through a life-changing period of her life. To be fair, Y/N didn’t actually tell him. She tried, but the message never reached his cognition. Harry wanted to save his salvation by choosing to believe that it was her fault for not visiting him in person to tell him the news. 

 Really though, how could Harry possibly know about her pregnancy if she didn’t make the effort to inform him of his own child. It wasn’t like he was supposed to check in on her, his ex-girlfriend, right? That was unheard of. And frankly, Harry thought that the day everything blew up--when she read the letter meant for Camille; Y/N made it very clear that she did not want to speak to him again. So really, Harry was just respecting her wishes. 

 Y/N was supposed to be the one feeling out of place; not Harry. If only she had told him when she identified the symptoms of pregnancy, he could have helped out. Harry wasn’t sure if he would have left Camille to begin a family with Y/N (if she took him back) or if he was only a parent of support. One that was there for the sake of raising a child but not sharing the means and affection to build a relationship with Y/N. 

 These were Harry’s thoughts as he sat with the family of three. In between Y/N and Connor as they sat on opposite ends of the round table with baby Halo in her high chair and Harry across from her. Halo was staring at him with wonder and curiosity; a shy type of look that tinted her cheeks a tad rosy and her lashes to peer at the man adjacent to her, wondering why he was joining them in their family dinner. 

 Harry felt out of place.

___

 “What’s wrong, baby?” Connor asked, feeding the child a spoonful of peas. “Not usually like this,” She shook her head, tucking her arms together and pursing her lips inwards in a sign of rejection. 

 Halo looked at Y/N who was giving her a soft smile, then to Harry. “She’s not usually like this. She must be shy that you’re here tonight, Harry,” Y/N explained, a tone of indifference that she tried to mask to help Halo feel a little more comfortable. 

 Harry gulped heavily. His child was uncomfortable because of him. He almost felt guilty for wanting to scoop her up and canoodle Halo in his arms. Harry still hadn’t had the chance to do that. 

___

 When the door opened earlier this evening, Harry was met by Y/N’s furrowed brows, firmly reminding him that this dinner was for him to be slowly introduced into Halo’s life. Harry would get the chance to care for her by helping the child with her nighttime routine. That included brushing her teeth, tucking her in, a bedtime story and possibly a kiss on the forehead. 

 Harry was giddy, to say the least. Harry was confident with kids and could easily mould into what they needed. If they wanted him to pretend to be a car while they jumped on his back as they grasped onto his curls to steer him, he would. If Harry was instructed to be a pretty princess with a plastic tiara on his head, he would exaggeratedly lift a pinky up to play the part. It was easy for him to win the hearts of his little nieces and nephews because they were familiar with him. They knew him as ‘Uncle Harry’ who gave them gifts whenever he came over to visit or if there was a large family reunion.

 He couldn’t exactly do that with Halo. She was familiar with him, yes. However, the one time they interacted, Harry had made her cry. It didn’t sit right with him that tears sprung from her corneas when she was only trying to make him feel better, sensing that her parents wanted nothing to do with him.

 It wasn’t like Harry knew what she liked either. Did Halo like playing with dolls? Animals? Race cars? The most basic of things, Harry didn’t know. What was her favourite colour? When was her birthday? His resumé was already tarnished since he wasn’t present when her mother fell pregnant. Then, he missed her first steps, her first words. He was just a stranger to her.

 And it showed from the way he stepped foot into the kitchen.

 Harry heard her before he saw her. Tiny squeals and giggles fell from her mouth as Connor chased her around with plates grasped in his hands. Y/N had scolded the man for getting distracted instead of setting the table. Halo’s noises quieting down when she caught sight of the familiar yet unfamiliar man loitering the doorway.

 “‘M sorry, love. Halo wanted to play,” Connor gripped her waist to pull Y/N closer to him, pressing a kiss to her cheek as she fought off a smile from splintering her face. “Right, cutie?”

 “Wanted to play! Sowwy mama,’ Halo apologized, tugging on her pant leg. 

 That was when Harry realized the possibility of ruining the little family they had in the words. But this was supposed to be his in the first place so he couldn’t care less if he wrecked it. As selfish as it may be, Harry thought that there was meaning in him accidentally hearing Gemma’s conversation with Y/N. Sure, it was bound to happen, but it couldn’t have come at a better time. The hole in his heart caused by Camille’s confession of not wanting kids was growing each day, accentuated by the late-night trip to the grocery store and seeing the small baby clothes that took up half of his palm. 

 It was a sign, right? He felt like he was drowning in a relationship that had no future and the next day, he was met with Y/N and their baby. 

___

 Symbolism. As a writer, it was absolutely crucial to introduce some sort of word, item, place, or person and infuse it with impeccable meaning. Irrefutable to the point that that noun is and will be what the writer makes of it. 

 Round tables were supposed to be better at sprouting conversations than rectangular or square tables. Any conversation between a pair must be shared with everybody who sat around it. There was no room to quietly snicker or ration secrets. Yet somehow that theory was not working. At all.

 Harry felt like an intruder sitting in a table that never held more than three people because it was always just them: Y/N, Connor and Halo. As the child got more comfortable with his presence, she slowly started babbling incoherent and coherent words alike, conversing with her ‘parents’ as they asked her about her day at daycare. Y/N asked about Connor’s day at work and the latter reciprocated the question which she was currently answering. 

 “It wasn’t as busy as I thought,” Y/N shrugged her shoulders, forking a piece of mash. Connor made a sound of recognition, “S’that why you texted me to go home instead?”

 Y/N nodded, helping Halo scoop her own forkful of mash, “Yep, I had time to go to the store. I know that you were swarmed at work,” The couple allotted a loving glance towards each other. 

 Harry’s heart was cracking. He was witnessing what he could have had and He had a front-row seat to it. Was it jealousy? Maybe. He was in a relationship so he shouldn’t feel like swarming Y/N’s smaller frame in his arms, shielding her and baby Halo away from Connor. But he did.

 “What about you, Harry?” Connor questioned him with a kink to his brow. Harry could tell that the question wasn’t sincere, purely out of consideration. 

 In a surprise, Harry coughed a little, reaching out to his cloth to dab the corners of his mouth. Truth to be told, Harry spent the day in a state of anxiety. From the moment he woke up, Harry could feel his chest expanding with nervousness, heart beating loudly and pounding in his ears. He picked at the skin of his lip in the wonder of what he was going to wear. If he should wear cologne or if it will irritate Halo’s senses. He spent the better half of the morning browsing online for toys he could get in a hurry to give to Halo. 

 Harry contemplated cancelling the dinner because of the uneasy feeling boiling in his stomach. Heightened senses and pinched nerves convinced Harry that he could feel the muscles of his esophagus contracted as he swallowed. Lungs punctured with the tip of the pen he was using to scrawl a list of ideas to build a bond with his daughter

 “It was alright,” Harry said warily, “Didn’t really have anythin’ to do today except come here,” 

 Y/N pulled her head back in surprise, “Sorry, we ruined your day off,” 

 His eyes widened immediately. Harry’s usual aura of confidence nowhere to be seen, “N-no, no. I didn’t mean it like that,” He could feel stray curls hitting his cheekbones lightly. “I jus’-- it’s m’break so I haven’t got anything for the next couple of months,”

___

 Harry’s settled nerves were awoken when it was time to clean up. Y/N insisted on doing the dishes with Connor while Harry bonded with Halo. 

 “Remember, you’re doing this for her,” Y/N whispered in his ear, causing shivers to crawl up his spine, “Don’t be nervous, Harry. She’s going to love you,” She added, seeing the way he blinked warily at Halo and Connor. Even going as far as giving him a comforting smile. 

 “Thank you, Y/N--for giving me this,” She nodded in response, jutting her chin downwards.

 “Hawwy? Mama said you gonna help me get to bed?” Halo’s green eyes still shone despite the dim kitchen lighting, reminding Harry that this was his and Y/N’s creation. Throughout the dinner, the child had somehow warmed up to Harry’s presence. With a promise of an ice cream trip after her nursery classes earlier in the morning, Halo was quick to befriend the man who she pointed out: ‘has the same dimple as me!’--while poking a stubby finger to her plush cheek, grinning to showcase it. 

 Harry could feel his heart thud, crouching down to her level, worried of her straining her neck looking up at his tall stature. “Tha’s right. Wanna show me where the bathroom is?” She nodded, grabbing Harry’s index finger to drag him along, exerting his lumbar to keep his height low. He could feel Halo’s feet stumbling, keeping her balance by tightening her grip on Harry. 

 Their time in the bathroom was fairly short. Halo had learned to brush her teeth by herself. She only needed Harry to guide her up the stool so that she could reach the sink, spitting the foam from her mouth when Harry made a funny face in the mirror, giggling loudly that had Harry’s chest feeling light. 

 As they walked through the hallway, Harry couldn’t help but let his ears be numb to Halo’s babbling about her favourite stuffed toy. He didn’t mean to. Instead, his neck craned to the door left agape, assuming that it was Connor and Y/N’s with the way the Gucci shoes that Harry had bought her were neatly placed at the bottom of the foot of the bed. He stared down at his moving feet, mood souring despite the bright colours of his loafers imprinted in a little rainbow--the same ones that he just caught sight off and wavered just as quickly.

 “You like it?”

 He snapped out of his thoughts when Halo climbed on her tiny bed, clutching her favourite stuffed toy. Harry plastered a beaming grin on his face, inspecting the painted room, the small desk pushed against the wall and the numerous artworks taped to almost every surface. 

 One, in particular, had his heart aching more so than it already was.

 It was a hand-drawn stick figure portrait of Y/N, Halo, and Connor. Harry couldn’t even pretend that the skinny, stretched black marker was him because the child messily penned Connor’s name underneath. The figures were holding each others’ hands, oblong faces paired with a curved mouth shaped upwards. It didn’t help that the title at the top was “My Famli” which was crossed over with a red marker and re-titled underneath as “My Family” in neat handwriting that Harry could recognize as Y/N’s. 

 “Hawwy?” She repeated, wondering why he was staring so hard at the drawing taped on her bedside table. Her brows furrowed when a drop of tear fell from his eye and landed on Connor’s head, smudging the ink and making it blurry disarray as Halo gasped. “Oh no!”

 “‘M s-sorry, Halo,” Harry’s tongue felt too thick in his mouth, sobbing threatening to escape but he remembered how that would make his daughter feel. Halo placed her soft hand on top of his.

 “It’s okay, Hawwy. I can do it again,” Her timid voice made his heart flutter. Halo didn’t want Harry to cry again and it looked like he was about to so she scurried in planting her shaky legs on the floor. A blank paper was already stable on her desk, grabbing a marker to draw the ruined project again. She could see Harry’s shadow towering over her, thanks to the light projected by her lamp. 

 Flipping the paper over, Halo giggled, “Go away! Y’cant see it till it’s done,” She used her force to push him backwards which wasn’t a lot so Harry walked backwards until the back of his calves hit her bed frame. “Stay there and play with Honey,”

 As she got back to work, Harry searched for ‘Honey’, finding an oatmeal coloured bear with a pot of honey clutched between its threaded paws. He stared at the plush toy for what felt like forever, wondering how special this must be to her. And how Harry wasn’t the one to have given it to her.

 “Done!” Halo’s timidness returned, hiding the paper behind her back yet Harry heard the slight crumple. 

 Placing the stuffed toy on the bed, he asked, “Are y’gonna show me?” 

 She handed the artwork to Harry while he watched, smiling softly. Halo slapped her palms on her cheeks when Harry turned it over, his breath hitching when he saw the extra figure that she had drawn. 

 Harry. With a head of wild curls and dotted green eyes that appeared more black with the lighting.

 He couldn’t help it when happy tears seared his waterline which Halo mistook for complacence. “You don’t. . .like it Hawwy?”

 “I-I do. I love it, honey,” Harry admitted, chuckling slightly as he patted his upper thigh. She climbed onto the bed with him, the wood creaking beneath Harry’s weight. Halo clumsily climbed on his lap, lifting his heavy forearm so she could sneak between his legs. 

 Harry could feel his nonexistent double chin crowding his neck as he looked down at Halo who was cuddled to his chest, lips turned into a pout, looking at her quick-minute work. “I like it cause you’re there,” She pointed at the ice cream in Harry’s hand before yawning loudly. 

 “You’re sleepy, baby Halo?’

 She nodded, pressing a small hand on his chest. Harry took the initiative to lay the child down on her pillow despite every nerve in his body urging him to stay in that position. But Harry figured that he had probably overstayed his welcome for the night. 

 Harry pressed a passionate kiss to her forehead, caressing her head gently. Sleep eyes stared at him as he pulled her fleece blanket to her chin. “Stay?” She questioned, fists crumpling to clutched the end of the fabric.

 “I can’t, bub,” He informed with regret, shaking his head sadly and his mouth curved downwards. His knee was sore with weight pressed on his knee cap and his lumbar was aching with how he crouched down one too many times this evening, but all pain seemed to disappear when Halo picked up Honey the Teddy Bear from beside her and gave it to Harry. “For me? Thank you,”

 Halo laid back down on her bed, “Mhm,”

 “Why?”

 As a two-year-old, Halo could only say so many words, yet her thoughts went far deeper than her brain could comprehend. That she felt a profound attachment to Harry despite seeing him twice. How pleasant it was to spend even just a small amount of time with him. Harry was nice and gave her forehead kisses and rubbed her head that placed a smile on her face. He cried because he loved her artwork and he apologized when he did something wrong. He contorted his lips into a silly face to make her laugh. He was going to be picking her up from school and Harry said he was going to buy her ice cream tomorrow! 

 “I dunno,” Halo shrugged, peering downwards to avoid eye contact. Harry chuckled heartily, puckering his pink lips to another peck on her forehead, and then both of her cheeks. 

____

let us know what you thought!! Part 6 aka Ruin is already up on Patreon!

RUIN - SNEAK PEEK

“Hate to remind you but Harry left you once before, don’t think he’ll hesitate to do so again,”

She froze at Connor’s words. Y/N was aware that he only said that in good faith, to remind her of how hurt she was at the time and just how long it took for her to be able to finally breathe again. 

One side of Y/N urged to still defend Harry. She wanted to turn and around, yell at him because Connor doesn’t know Harry as she does. Harry wasn’t the type to build a child’s dreams up only for him to personally manhandle the heart and crush it in his fist. There was a reason why he was a godfather to so many kids; Ruby, Arlo and Jackson—because he was capable. Harry was a nurturing father who put himself on the back burner in favour of making sure that the little ones were safe and secured. He had no problem being third if it meant that the kids were first, then Y/N, then him. 

It all sounded so good in Y/N’s head; so well-rehearsed and very well thought out. The monologue that had somehow stuck in the sides of her brain like a script taped to the wall, ready for the time it needed to be recited. The shredded pieces of paper also reminded her that Y/N might’ve known Harry before, but she certainly doesn’t anymore. In fact, she knew just as much as Connor did.

Just like Y/N had grown and evolved into a new person, Harry was not the same guy he once was when they were together. 

“I told him the consequences if he did,” 

Connor pulled back, stepping away from her. “But wouldn’t it be better if we didn’t take that chance? Who knows what he might do. . .” He trailed off, grabbing a dry rag to wipe the water dripping from the dish. 

____

Permanent Taglist: @splendidsunsetsx @swagmoneymaya @luviewoo @textingharry @arypesanchez @theresthingsthatwellneverknow @sonofabitchstyles @elizabeth23567 @lauloupi @prettylovley @gohometoacactus @xxxxdelenaxxxx @moonlightmaliksblog

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #harry styles drabble #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shots #harry styles angst

[atruththatyoudeny]

Happy 28th! Another month full of wonderful fics. And another thank you to all the authors in this ♥ Here are all the fics I read and enjoyed this month:

Something About Liminal Spaces | kingsofeverything | soulmates - soul-identifying marks - age difference - silver fox Louis - slow burn - post-divorce - smut - 34k Searching for inspiration for his latest book, and hoping distance will help heal his broken heart, Louis Tomlinson heads to the village of Piha on the west coast of New Zealand’s north island. There he meets Harry Styles. Fifteen years older than Harry, Louis tries to keep his distance, but Harry is impossible to avoid and harder to ignore.

For You, I will Fall | ShatteredGlassHouse | historical - pirates - enemies to lovers - slow burn - angst - fluff - drama - graphic descriptions of torture - blood and violence - minor injuries - denial of feelings - eventual smut - 80k Louis is a cruel and unforgiving pirate who hunts mermaids and kills men who owe him money. He takes what he pleases and doesn't care who he leaves burning behind him. Harry is a boy who is on the run and takes a wrong turn right onto the ruthless pirate's ships, It is clear from the start Harry doesn't belong in this cruel new world, but like everything in life, the path you follow stops and everything changes. Two unlikely souls find each other. No other version of me I would rather be tonight | Namelesslisa and shadeofblue (jarofhearts) | famous/not famous - secret identity - Tinder - getting together - smut - 32k Louis meets a guy named Marcel on tinder, but Marcel is actually the popstar Harry Styles who just sold out two nights at Madison Square Garden.

crowded town or silent bed, pick a place to rest your head | danverslou | childhood friends - exes to lovers - angst - violence - abusive relationships - 63k “Poem. I made you a poem.” “Oh yeah? Can I hear your poem?” Louis turns on the car and exits the school building. “Wait.” Louis takes a glance and sees his daughter struggle to open her bag, strained thanks to the safety belt. “Aha!” She shouts when she finally finds the wrinkled paper. She clears her throat dramatically. “My mama is cool, because one day he took me to the pool. My mama is beautiful, and I feel grateful. My mama is pocketful, because his pocket is always full.” Louis ruffles Chrys’ hair making the green-eyed kid groan and swat his hand away. “You think I’m beautiful?” Louis’ voice is soft. “Well, duh. You’re the most beautiful person on Earth, mama.” She pauses for a moment. “Although, Uncle Zayn is beautiful too. But, still, you’re the most beautifulest.” She grins. Louis’ heart clenches at that. Not because she just said he’s the most beautiful person in the world. But, because of the way she said it. Awfully similar to the other person who has the same green eyes as her. And the way she grins after that, identical.

These High Walls | LarryAlways28 | a/b/o - mating bond - strangers to lovers - hate to love - past abuse - fluff - smut - 68k Harry Styles should have the world at his feet. Born to one of Seattle's wealthiest families, Harry was raised exactly as a Styles heir should be: sharp as a tack, witty, charming, and powerful. He was the ideal son - until he presented as an Omega. Now, barely a year after his old man dropped dead and running the family company, if he makes a mistake with the Tomlinson and Sons merger and acquisition, it's game over. ___ Louis Tomlinson is in over his head. After the tragic death of his older brother, Louis has no choice but to put his music career on hold and head back home to handle the family affairs. The family business is drowning and Louis doesn't know what to do. So... when the older, and wildly attractive Harry Styles offers him a deal in exchange for saving his family's legacy- how could Louis ever refuse that? But what happens when emotions get tangled and a good business deal turns into something much more powerful?

Between the forest and the field | bluegreenish | cottage core - village life - meet-cute - strangers to lovers - fluff - smut - 17k Harry catches himself and closes his mouth as a man jogs towards the two new dogs, whistling loudly. “Clifford! Bruce! Get the fuck back here!” The dogs, apparently called Clifford and Bruce, listen after their owner repeats himself twice, then they turn away from Poppy and sit down, attention on the man. All three dogs in tow, he approaches Harry with a crooked grin. “Hey, sorry. I know that’s what they all say, but usually these little beasts listen better.” or, the one where Harry recently moved to a village and his shy dog picks Louis' dogs to play with at the dog park. A fluffy cottage core AU.

Moonlit Reverie | MyEnglishRose | strangers to lovers - Paris - fluff - humor - meet-cute - smut - 21k Louis has always dreamed of getting kissed under the Eiffel Tower since he was a child. After ending a long-term relationship, he decides to treat himself to his dream trip to Paris and finds a lonely handsome stranger staring at the Eiffel Tower surrounded by other couples. He never thought he would ask a complete stranger if they could kiss under the glowing tower without even knowing each other but there he was.

Wanna Do Nothing With You | whoknows | hurt/comfort - injury recovery - smut - 9k The accident happens in the stupidest way possible. One minute Louis is demonstrating a skateboard trick he’d just learned for Lottie, the next he’s waking up in a hospital. He’s told that he wasn’t unconscious the entire ride, but he has absolutely no recollection of it. One second he’s fucking around in his own garden and the next he’s being assaulted with the strong sterile scent of a hospital. So. There’s that.

Letters to June | Larry_you_know | a/b/o - historical - World War I - letters - love letters - strangers to lovers - soulmates - injuries - pining - hurt/comfort - 41k It's 1915, Europe is in the middle of the Great War. Omega Louis decides to join the Letter Home Project to become someone’s penfriend. Through this he meets a lovely soldier who hasn't got anyone else to send a letter to. Along with his letter, comes a picture of the most handsome alpha Louis has ever seen.

A Hopeless Connection | parmahamlarrie | soulmates - hurt/comfort - angst - soulmate-identifying timers - smut - 34k In a world where everyone has a soulmate, what do you do when you don’t have one? As soon as Louis Tomlinson was born, his Timer, the one that determined when he would meet his soulmate, was already at zero. He’s spent the last twenty-five years of his life looking for that void to be filled with faceless strangers. Can he still find love?

somebody to love | dilfrry | kid fic - single parent - nanny - age difference - strangers to lovers - fluff - smut - dirty talk - light dom/sub - 51k A hesitant fist hovers, ready to knock on the hard surface, when suddenly the door swings open revealing a small child with a huge smile plastered on her face. “You’re here, finally!” She beams up at him, haphazardly brushing her orange hair away from her eyes. He can’t help but let a grin fill his face at her anticipation. Bunching his pants at his ankles, he crouches down to her level. “You must be Margret.” “Actually, only my daddy calls me that when I’m in trouble,” she explains with an assertive tone. “So you can call me Margo.” “Well, Margo, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Louis.” or the single father harry and uni student nanny louis fic where if it wasn't for a little red headed spit fire they wouldn't have met

Wild Hearts Run Free | jacaranda_bloom | strangers to lovers - a/b/o - wilderness - seclusion - storms - hurt/comfort - angst - slow burn - pining - near-death-experience - smut - 43k Harry is an alpha who is harbouring a dark secret, one that has forced him into self-imposed isolation, far from civilization and far from temptation. Louis is an omega who has fought the predispositions of his secondary gender his whole life and suddenly finds himself cast aside by his beta partner, leaving him to question his place in the world. When fate and Mother Nature conspire to trap the two strangers together, will Harry’s worst fears be proven, or will Louis find a way to break down his walls and lead him into the light?

Away From Home | Marchessa | shipwrecked - mentions of death - mentions of drowning - smut - 12k Enormous waves crashing over the hull of the ship... the smell of burning wood... and the awful stench of charred flesh. That was all Harry could recall before being sucked down under the surface, swallowed by the angry sea. The next thing the boy knew, when he was only half-conscious yet, that he was being dragged on warm wet sand, his shoulder aching from the strain put on his aching joints, as he was hauled by the shackle still closed around his wrist... "Are you still alive?" A familiar voice asked, so Harry sluggishly sat up, covering his eyes from the sunshine with his chainless hand, trying to see the other man. "Mr Tomlinson?" He croaked after trying to stop the fit of coughing that tortured him. " What happened?" "The Seashell went down. We are marooned on this godforsaken island." Or the one, where Harry is a servant to the Tomlinson family and he ends up as one of the lone survivors of a shipwreck. But maybe he can still find paradise in the tragedy.

#28th appreciation #fic rec #monthly reads #monthly fic rec #larry fics #completed fics #my fic rec #my reads

[sckyie]

song: streetcar by daniel caesar

word count: 2.6k

genre + warnings: angst to fluff; reminiscing in past heartbreak, breakdowns, timeskips, swearing, someone gets slapped

pronouns used: she/her

a/n: here's part 2 to driver's license,, i hope this was okay >~< i had to include a new song to the mix (its going into the playlist) soooo enjoy :) also my ratio for angst to fluff is TERRIBLE im sorry

Ever since you had confessed your feelings to your best friend, you had became so distant from everyone. Knowing you might've ruined one of the best friendships shook you. Lately you'd been driving around past curfew just to keep your mind off him. Passing all the street lights just felt like you were driving down memories. 

That flickering light at the corner where Oikawa had helped you after crashing your bike into a pole. Or that bright cool light by the park where you, Iwa, and Oikawa first started playing volleyball. Or that one littered with stickers where you told both the boys that they better remember you when they were famous. 

Apathy overcame your entire being. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, who knew heartbreak could have this effect on a person? It was hard going to school, avoiding Oikawa in every hall, dodging Iwaizumi on your way out, and even trying to ignore Kasumi was too much. It hurt like hell but you didn't want to know what Oikawa had to say. More so, you didn't want to hear what he was going to say, you knew what he'd tell you.

Two months until graduation.

It had been a over a month since that confession. The bright girl everyone used to know dulled out. No one knew why nor how it happened. It only stung between you and the boy you knew you could never love. Oikawa and Kasumi remained together despite the lingering thought of those words you said to him. 

"I- You- Ugh! Just go away, I don't want to see you!" The crack in your voice shook those hidden feelings within you.

"Why not!" Oikawa held onto your forearm, restricting you from running away.

"Because I fucking loved you idiot!" You screamed as hot tears rolled down your cheeks. Oikawa froze at your words, unable to process them.

"You...loved me?" He asked.

"I still fucking love you! God, I hate you- I just- Let go!" You shoved him away from you. "I'm leaving. If you try to stop me, I'm never speaking to you again."

Yet, you never spoke to him regardless. The sudden break between you two effected Iwaizumi as well. Although he had no part in the situation, he was torn who's side to take. He knew your secret but he couldn't betray both his best friends. Seeing you two spilt was like watching glass break. It's sudden, scattered, irreplaceable but if you tried to fix it, you could cut yourself or ruin the glass even more.

Oikawa took your last words as your goodbye. What was worse was that, he couldn't bring himself to find the right words to say to you. How could his best friend love him and never tell him? He never did end up telling Kasumi that he loved her. He began to question his feelings about her and well, you. 

One more month until graduation.

"Hey Y/n, are you going to the third year dance?" Hanamaki taps your shoulder as you doodle on your notes. You shook your head, knowing well enough how you'd have to see Oikawa and Kasumi together. "Come on, we're all going."

"No thanks," You smiled. A sudden ache in your chest hit you as you looked back at your notes. "I don't like dances."

"Liar," Matsukawa joins into the conversation. "What happened to you?"

"Hm?" You looked up, tilting your head at him.

"Just come along, we'll drive," He suggests. "You don't need a date. Just tag along with he boys and Kasumi."

"Again no thanks," You turned him down. "I'm not on good terms with Oikawa right now. I don't want to see him."

"Well, then let's all four go together then. Me, you, Mattsun, and Iwa," Makki says. "We lowkey miss having you around."

"Yeah, come on, we don't have to go with them," Matsukawa agreed.

"Promise we won't hang around them?" You ask solemnly. They nod at you, prompting you to let out a long sigh. "Fine. I don't have a dress, do you guys want to come with to find one?" 

Two weeks until graduation.

You stood in line with the three boys to get inside the ballroom for the dance. You carefully adjusted Matsukawa's corsage that matched your dress. Kasumi and Oikawa had came later, waiting farther back in line. He rests his hand on her waist as he examined the people in line when he spots you. This was the first time in forever since he could see you clearly. He had only caught glimpses of you through the halls, never seeing your face.

Was that the reason the guys didn't want to ride with him? For you? It hit a bit knowing they chose you over him but he knew how you haven't hung out with anyone lately. Always avoiding people, never trying to talk to anyone. 

Inside the ballroom, you and the boys sat together at your assigned table. The songs seemed redundant, leaving you four to occasionally get up to dance. It wasn't until a slow song that caught your attention. You had your head leaning against Iwaizumi's shoulder when you spotted Oikawa and Kasumi walking center stage.

"I'm gonna go outside for some fresh air," You say, standing up. You adjusted your dress before walking away to the outside patio. The muffled sound of the slow song was heard as you rested your arms on the railing. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the sounds of the streets nearby. It was hard to drown out the feelings of Oikawa after seeing him with Kasumi. You feel the pain well up, trying your best to resist crying.

You open your eyes as you feel something being placed on your shoulders. "You'll get sick out here," Iwaizumi says, standing beside you. "You're thinking of him aren't you?"

"Can we not talk about him?" You breathed, tears slowly rolling down your face. "I just don't want to think about how bad I fucked up."

"Well," Iwaizumi looked down at the ground. "Will you dance with me?" You turned to see him holding out his hand for you. Taking his offer, Iwa holds you close as the music played. He let you cry in his arms, knowing well enough that you needed this. Having held all your pain behind driving, you couldn't show how much you were in pain. 

"Thank you Iwa," You sniffled into his chest. 

"I'm always here for you," He smiled. "You're like a little sister to me...It pains me to see you all dull and hurt...When Makki asked you to come out with us, I didn't expect you to agree but I'm glad you did." 

"Can I tell you something?" You panted for air through your tears.

Oikawa held Kasumi close, carefully swaying back and forth together. With her head resting on his chest, he was able to see through the patio window. He spots you and Iwaizumi dancing but for some reason it stung in his chest to see that. Why is he hurt? He's with Kasumi and he loves her, right?

Graduation day.

A group of cheers goes around the ceremony as your final day in high school is finally over. You greet your old classmates one more time, saving your close friends for last. For some reason, all the pain you previously carried had faded away. You approach the gate to meet with your friends for the last time before you go off your separate paths. Makki and Mattsun agreed to text you more to keep up with each other.

Iwaizumi had hugged you once last time, telling you to do your best. You smiled for the first time in a while. It was strange but Iwa was glad to see you starting to move on. You and him agreed to update each other on your mental healths and to hang out whenever you'd visit. Then it was the one you dreaded.

Saying goodbye to Oikawa, it'll be the last time you'll see him. You waited patiently for him as he was caught up by some fans and Kasumi. When he did manage to leave the underclassmen, he spotted you waiting. "Hey babe, can you go on ahead? I want to talk to Y/n," He says to his girlfriend. She nods happily, walking by you as she left. 

"Hey," He stops a few feet away from you, scared to step any closer.

"Hi," You said. "I have a few words for you." You let out a small chuckle, leading him to believe it was something good.

"Good or bad?" He laughed.

"Well," You started. "I just wanted to say goodbye for the last time...It was nice being your friend and I know how rough it turned out in the end...I'm sorry for not telling you before how I felt. I just thought I wasn't good enough for you and that you'd fall for someone else. Kasumi is a great girl and you two are amazing together...I really wish you guys the best...I know you'll do outstanding in volleyball like the king you are. You better not forget us when you're famous..Listen, I have to go before I'm late, so this is...it...Goodbye Tooru." You wiped a tear from your cheek, smiling at him. You quickly turned around, disappearing into the city. 

"Wait! Y/n!" He rushes after you, only to get lost in the crowd of third years saying their goodbyes. Oikawa felt tears well up in his eyes as he desperately looked around for you. "You didn't let me say..." He whispered to himself.

A week later, Oikawa and Iwaizumi join each other to lunch at your favorite restaurant. Iwa scrolls on his phone waiting for the food while Oikawa looked at the booth you two would always get. "Hey Iwa-chan?" He asks. "Do you know where Y/n decided to go after graduation?" Iwaizumi stopped scrolling to think back at the third year dance.

"Can I tell you something?" You panted for air through your tears.

"Anything," Iwa replied.

"I'm moving away from Miyagi immediately after graduation," You sniffled. "Remember when we were kids and we said we wanted to live in Tokyo or Kyoto?"

"Y-yeah," He was a little shaken up hearing that you'll be leaving so soon. 

"My uncle just moved to Kyoto and he offer me a room there...and I said yes," You started to trace circles on his back. "It's by that college I wanted to go to and they have good jobs there and-"

"You don't have to explain yourself. You'll do amazing out there," Iwa chuckled. "Just promise you'll visit sometime?" He knew how much you needed to be away from Miyagi. Although it pained him, he knew it was only for the best.

"No," Iwa lied. "I haven't seen her. She hasn't texted in a while.

Three months after graduation.

You got into a cab on your way to your new job at a café. You stared out the window, admiring the new city you live in. Learning to adjust and work around the city was tough. The feeling of calling Kyoto home was strange, knowing that it wasn't. 

Ever since you had said goodbye to Oikawa, things in his life changed. He believed losing you wasn't fair, not knowing where you'd gone always haunted him. He had broken up with Kasumi over the guilt held over his head. Always thinking about you when he was with her wasn't right. With you being gone, his only priority became volleyball. 

You however, had let go of those old feelings you held onto. That last goodbye satisfied you, letting you sleep at night and allowed you to love yourself more. You've grown so much from dull slump you were stuck in for weeks. Though living in a different environment made it feel like you weren't even there.

Oikawa roamed the streets slowly approaching different shops along the sidewalk. He had some free time before the practice match he had, so it wouldn't hurt to explore, right?

That's when it happened.

You closed the door to your cab, turning towards the café's direction. Your eyes lock onto a set of familiar pupils. Frozen in time, the two of you never exchanged a word yet, suddenly a rush of emotions filled you both.

Pain, anger, fear, regret, almost everything you felt in the past came back to you seeing him. Standing before you, the man you once loved. The man you might still love.

You snapped out of your thoughts, walking towards him, stopping a few feet away from him. "Y/n what-" You raised your hand, harshly impacting Oikawa's cheek. His hand flies up to his face, holding the spot you smacked.

"You seriously broke up with Kasumi for me?" You growled. "Y-you're an idiot y'know? She was good to you too! Also ignoring Iwa for volleyball? I told you not to-"

"You kept track of me?" He whispered, a slight smile creeping on his face.

"W-Well obviously! I ask Iwa about you from time to time," You muttered. You looked up to Oikawa and saw him grin down at you.

Before you could say anything else, Oikawa puts his two hands on the sides of your cheeks. He pulls your face close to his, crashing his lips against yours. You tense at the action, gripping his wrists. He doesn't pull away until you settle into the kiss.

Your hands melt away from his wrists and reach for his torso. Your lips moved together in sync, almost as if it were a familiar feeling. He pulls away from you, pressing his forehead against yours. "You never let me say my goodbye," Oikawa snickered. "You said goodbye to me then disappeared without a trace."

"Sorry," You blushed. His hands move to your waist, still holding you close to him.

"I wanted to tell you that..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I love you too. I'm sorry I'm so late in telling you and I'm sorry for being caught up with Kasumi. I didn't know what I was doing and I couldn't talk to you...I fucked up for not seeing how much you- well how much I loved you...I know this is all late and you probably don't want to hear any of this but-"

You tiptoed and kissed his nose, making him stop. "How'd you find out you loved me?" You looked at him curiously.

"I was driving down your street and all the old streets we'd walk through," He started. "It reminded me of you and then I saw that white streetcar. The one that is always parked by the laundromat? It made me realize how much you meant to me."

"Seriously? That old junk car?" You laughed.

"Hey, it reminded me of you okay, just seeing it whenever we hungout and passed it," Oikawa squeezed your hip, making you chuckle at him. "Will you ever forgive me?"

Your laughter ceases as you look up at him. "I had to learn how to drive on the highway on my own, jerk," You brought up.

"Is that a yes?" He smirked.

"...No...Maybe," You squinted your eyes at him. "You owe me ramen."

"Wait how'd you know how I've been these last few months?" Oikawa pulls away from your hold.

"Oh Iwa was the first to know I was moving, I asked him to check on you every now and then. I just wanted to make sure your pretty face doesn't do anything stupid. You did by the way, you did some stupid shit," You grinned. "Hey are you hungry? I can get you something from the café for free." You turned away from him, heading to your job.

"Hey you can't just insult me then leave, come here," He runs after you stopping you a few steps away from work. Oikawa plants a rough kiss on your lips before looking down at you. "The only stupid thing I did was not tell you I loved you sooner."

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @d0llpie @elianetsantana @joy-laufeyson @kac-chowsballs

#haikyuu!! #hq #haikyuu x you #hq x you #haikyuu oikawa #hq oikawa #oikawa torū #oikawa tooru #oikawa x you #oikawa imagine #oikawa angst #hss; sckyie playlist

[spooderboyandtincan]

Masterlist

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35071825https://archiveofourown.org/works/34937053/chapters/87002521(Please excuse the mess)

Prompts

Tony Stitches Peter Up - Peter shows up bleeding out. Tony tries not to have a breakdown.

Chinese Food for Fridays - Random fluff with Tony, Peter and May.

Just Lost for a Minute Chapter 1 & 2 - Peter has a notorious habit of getting lost.

Well That Was Awkward -  Peter's classmates find him talking to the Tony Stark, who shouldn't even know he exists. So, naturally, chaos ensues.

Close to My Heart - A short fic full of angst and hurt/ comfort

In the Dead of Night Part 1 and 2 - Tony and Peter comforting each other through their nightmares.

Stark Only Cares for Himself - Steve thinks Tony only loves himself. He was wrong.

Spider-Man, Spider-Man - Peter proudly plays his new theme song to the Avengers.

Teething - Baby Peter is teething. Tony is very stressed.

Well at least it’s not on fire - One late night, Peter and Tony try to bake a cake. 

They’re Good Uncles, But.... Chapter 1 and 2 - Uncles Rhodey and Happy are babysitting Peter when the penthouse decides to set fire.

Time to Die... Of Embarrassment - May pulls out Peter’s baby pictures.

You Terrified Me - Bio son Peter breaks curfew. Tony is scared.

He’s not as bad as I thought - Peter has a panic attack when only Bucky is there. The two bond over Star Wars.

Lemongrass Tea - Peter is delighted to find a bubble tea shop opened downtown. He decides to try lemongrass. Unfortunately, spiders are allergic to it.

Other Fics

Car Crash Chapter 1, 2, 3, and 4 - A fun road trip leads to a disaster. Chapters 4/4

Nose Bleed - Both Tony and Peter are shocked when Peter suffers his first  nosebleed.

Baby Peter - A fluffy fic with toddler Peter and his dad

On the Ceiling - Tony finds his toddler not in his bed, but on the ceiling.

A Few Heart Attacks - Peter takes a major hit for Tony and barely survives.

Vlogging - Peter, Ned, and Shuri as seen through their vlog.

Hammock - Peter discovers the many wonderful pleasures of a hammock.

Something is Wrong - Peter collapses and scares the shit out of Tony.

Hot Chocolate and Cuddles - A fluffy fic about the first snow.

Here Comes Trouble, Make it Double - Peter had had a good day. But not anymore.

Don’t Worry, I’ll Sue Thor - Peter’s definitely not afraid of storms. Nope. Not one bit.

I Love You So, So Much - Tony tries to protect Peter from Hydra by keeping him in the tower... unfortunately, Hydra is at the tower too.

Midnight Snack - Peter has a late night snack on the ceiling.

Why the Hell Were You on the Ceiling?! - A very short fic where Peter falls asleep on the ceiling.

How do you Tie a Tie? - Tony shows Peter how to tie a tie. Peter is unsure that he belongs with the famous Avengers.

Please Don’t Kill Flash - Peter and Flash get kidnapped together. Tony is frantic.

Presumed Dead - Peter won’t eat, talk, sleep. He has nothing to live for if Tony is dead.

A Fast but Steady Heartbeat - Peter, Tony and Rhodey are enjoying their afternoon at a restaurant until the building and their food explodes.

October 30th, Day Before Halloween - Tony gets an emergency call. The Parkers have been attacked.

Peter’s Favorite Avenger? Not anymore - The Avengers meet Peter. Tony was terrified at first, and now he’s jealous. He’s still Peter’s favorite Avenger, right?

Drowning - The mission was supposed to be simple. It wasn’t. 

Rough Day? Or just tired? - Tony and Peter have a movie night. Peter falls asleep halfway through.

Temporarily Blind (and more) Chapter 1, 2, 3 , 4 - Peter goes blind. Not only that, but he’s dying.

Baby’s First Battle - Toddler Peter sneaks onto the Quinjet to help find his dad.  

Scream - Tony taught his little toddler to scream as loud as he could if someone he didn’t know tried to touch him. But he prayed Peter would never, ever end up in a situation like that. 

Being a Dad - Tony had to keep himself from calling Peter every ten seconds, reminding himself that FRIDAY was there and would alert him if anything happened. He had a deep feeling that something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

Happy Tears - Peter squirmed uncomfortably, the hard plastic chair digging into his back. He glanced at the clock. 2 am. Everyone else was asleep. May, Pepper, Nat, Sam. And Tony. Tony had been asleep for five days. 

Happy Birthday Peter! - Celebrating Peter’s birthday!

A Building Fell on You?! - Peter wakes up screaming. When Tony asks what his nightmare was about, Peter responds that a warehouse collapsed on him.

Hibernation -  Peter's spider side decides it's time to go into hibernation.

Blanket Forts - Peter is stressed from school. (Self-projection? Mayhaps) Tony knows just how to help.

Happy Halloween! -  Peter, Tony, and May's amazing, eventful day of picking pumpkins, carving said pumpkins, and getting spooked by watching Buzzfeed Unsolved.

You Came Back to Me - "Peter took another sip, expecting his dry throat to be blissfully cleared by the sweet cherry flavored drink.

The burning in his throat only grew. He felt like his stomach was  turning inside out and his chest had been stabbed with needle-sharp knives. The back of his neck prickled and he felt like he was in the middle of a blizzard but also in a desert with the sun directly overhead at the same time."

Or: Peter gets poisoned

tonystank and bananaboy -  Tony and Peter play Among Us, which can only result in a chaotic tickle fight (in which Peter loses drastically) and a (platonic) cuddle session while watching Star Trek.

You’re Gonna Miss Me When I’m Gone Ao3 -  When Tony had made his monthly anonymous donation of 50,000 to Peter's highschool, he hadn't thought that they would use the money to whisk his kid away to Vienna, Austria for an entire week.

I Want a Baby - Prompt from @milla-romy : I wish you would write a fic... about the Superfamily 💖

(Tony wants to adopt a baby. Steve isn't so sure.)

Presumed Dead -  After a HYDRA mission goes wrong, Peter is presumed dead and Tony mourns his son, until...

Sunny Son -  "Today is Friday, and Tony’s watch has just pinged, alerting him that Peter has arrived at the tower. He types out a quick text on the small surface of the watch: I’ll be up in 30 bud! and focuses his attention on the presenter, not because the presentation is in any way interesting, but because he needs to focus on something other than being separated from his kid.

Only thirty minutes, he thinks to himself, and he can go upstairs and cuddle his kid."

Or, Tony is a soft dad who wants to cuddle his kid- who can't stop giving him a heart attack every ten minutes.

#masterlist #my writing #my fics #not st*rker

[reginaofdoctorwho]

weird shit that would probably have something to do with me in a horror movie

no one wanted this but i’m bored and found a bottle so you’re all getting it. yes these are all true. check the tags, if u think i’ve missed something please let me know!

there was a murder (technically, i don’t really count it as a murder) next door when i was four years old on christmas morning

the weird antique glass bottle i found half-buried in the woods in the woods yesterday with living bugs in it that made no attempt to leave it once i uncovered it

there is a local cult in the next town over. this is not the same as the local cult that was in the other town over where my mom grew up

random completed animal skeletons in the woods behind our house, i’m talking prey and predator, both laid out like in a goddamn scientific diagram. for a while there’d be ones in the middle of our yard, always the same type of animal, always just the bones and nothing else, laid out like it was posed. this has been happening for over half a decade and we have no fucking clue how, why, or who is doing it

the screaming from the woods that i’m going to assume is a fox

my sister almost dated a murderer. his niece or something is in my class

there is a house that is now part of a “local ghost tour” that belonged to my great+ grand parents during the civil war where my great+ aunt died allegedly murdered by her husband who is actually blood related to me. family history says she died of childbirth, which given that it was the 1800s... probably is true

there was an actual murderer in our family a few generations back but he married in and killed his wife and her sister. they didn’t find out about it until they read his journals after he died where it apparently told everything he did and they decided. “well, that wouldn’t look good for the family, and they’re already dead anyway” and just kept it hidden??

the fact we have my great great grandmother’s dress from probably 1890s or 1900s. even more so the fact that i fit in it. if this was fantasy horror (vampires, some immortal thing or ghost) i’d be fucking dead or cursed

fairly certain i was possessed by the ghost of a puritan as a kid

my family seems to have a curse with babies and nurses? my great uncle died when he was born because long story short, hospitals were the new hot thing, he was perfectly healthy, then a nurse dropped him and he died instantly. my sister died when she was a toddler and the hospital actively tried to delete her hospital records to cover it up and ended up getting fined by the state for it. the nurses responsible were not arrested or punished in any way.

my family all has fucked up connective tissue, in my brother it was bad enough he had to get a steel bar in his chest so it wouldn’t cave in.

the many times i have almost drowned, sometimes due to intentional actions by humans (my dad, it was my dad)

this in addition to the other fucked up shit he did before the divorce when he still lived here, including but not limited to: killing my mom’s favorite pet goat, hanging its skull in a tree, and leaving the body in the woods. not letting his kids learn how to cook. anytime someone asked him to cook he’d put as much pepper/hot sauce in as he could (even for like, scrambled eggs) and give it to the youngest person, usually a toddler. this was me at times. taking his kids out to the woods and threatening murder. taking his kids out to the woods and threatening burning. purposely locked the basement from the inside so we couldn’t get the gaping hole in the stairs leading to one of three kids rooms fixed. tearing up pictures of the kids whenever my mom did something he didn’t like. i had more here but i tried to cut it down a litttle

people have threatened to murder me before. one time a girl didn’t threaten, and actually acted like she was starting to like me, but her cousin read her diary or something and found out she was planning to commit a lot of murder, and told her parents and she got sent to a psychiatric ward for a couple weeks

my mom lived down the street from a family that got axe-murdered by one of their two sons when she was a kid. the murderer did get out on an insanity plea and is still in the area. also their neighbor’s mom “lost her mind” (how the story was told) when she had to protect their kids while her husband went over to try to protect the non murderer son when he got home from school and ran over screaming about his brother trying to kill him and had killed their parents

also she knew a girl who almost got kidnapped by this really fucked up traveling serial killer that has his own wikipedia page that is,,, lengthy. the girl had [alleged] mafia ties, and the guy ended up dying shot by police despite them being told to bring him in, which sounds kinda suspicious

long story short i’d probably be the sequel where one comes back

apparently i go to the “bad” school, which i found out in a coffee shop when i overheard two girls talking about how one’s dad went there and how horrible and dangerous it is

school fights are weird. either they don’t happen or they come freakishly close to murder. people slam heads into lockers, stomp on bones, drag people by hair along the ground. one time in my brother’s class a 4′9″ girl sent a 6′2″ football player to the hospital. there was video of a fight a couple years ago that’s still around. it was brutal, but also one of the girls fighting was taking one for the team in it and got the other kicked out

we don’t have a ceiling in all of the third floor, and the cafeteria has 2. this is not relevant in any way, but it’s important to me that you know this

also the guys kept ripping the heating vents/radiators/whatever off the walls in their bathrooms and got almost all the bathrooms locked. including the girls’ ones.

also everyone kept punching holes in the walls so on some of them it’s just,,, metal sheeting down the whole hallway

there are so many fucking shootings in the next town over. literally five years ago it was this nice place where kids would go on history tours, i did when my sister worked for that group. now there is pretty much one business that has not been held up at gunpoint, and if u look up to the serial killer bullet point, it is for v similar ties. it’s a pizza place and if u ever stop by u gotta try it

women in my family have weirdly good intuition but every couple generations we get doubtful. my great grandma didn’t want a hospital birth but decided “hey it’s the hot new thing for a reason”, my mom switched churches based on nothing but intuition and it turned out someone was a pedophile there (found out years later), i instantly could tell my friend’s boyfriend was a pos and wasn’t surprised later when he told her he’d murder and dismember me in front of her, and upon meeting him told him he was a fucking coward and couldn’t do it. he broke up with her a month later.

i was really good friends for a while with two guys that burned a building down. yes they were arrested. i was friends before and after the fire. they’re pretty nice, but this girl they used to date (at different times, they were brothers, yes it was fucking weird and uncomfortable for everyone involved except her but that’s it’s own thing) said some fucked up shit and it was the closest i ever got to starting a fight. anyway i’m still friends with both on facebook. one of them shares a lot of king of the hill memes

speaking of that fight, i 100% would’ve tried to kill her in that moment. u know that john mulaney quote like “i didn’t understand how a person could want to kill another person. then i got cheated on, and i was like ‘oh, okay.’”? that was me, but replace “cheated on” with she told me it was good my five year old sister was dead because she was a waste, and told me she hoped i’d die of covid”. it was mainly the sister thing. i couldn’t move because if i did i’d start a fight with the [way] above mentioned shit.

my family has a literal feud with a local farming family. i mean, we keep farm animals (sheep, goats, chickens), these people have that, pigs, and crops too. the feud was because their great uncle (or great grand uncle, i’m a little fuzzy on the details) published an autobiography (despite not being anyone famous/important) and in it talked about when he was friends with my grandfather and how creepy my great grandfather was (this was the one with the dead firstborn son) because he kept newspaper clippings of the Lindbergh baby’s kidnapping and murder pinned to a board on the wall of his office/basement. also because he was a child of german immigrants who wanted to fight against nazis in WW2 (how suspicious [sarcasm]). members of their family are in my grade. they charged my sister for almost half an extra pound of goods, too, which just revitalized it.

i live by corn fields. i am surrounded by cornfields. (joke one)

i was friends for a while with this girl whose baby teeth,,, didn’t really fall out completely? she was 17 the last time i saw her in person, she’s probably 19 now and judging by her facebook pictures they’re still Like That. she had a very symmetrical mouth/teeth, which made it weirder. just to clarify, she had some of her baby teeth pushed forward and up, so they kind pointed out a little? and all her adult teeth. she was literally so pretty.

a teacher who is v sexual with his female students came into my english class (he is a science teacher) to demand why i wasn’t signed up for his class. we then both became increasingly passive aggressive and he told the whole class where i live with specific directions and landmarks. the guy sitting next to me had to try to tone things down despite being obviously confused as to why it was even happening (me too buddy). he lives down the road from my sister. when my niece had her birthday party at our house i was outside setting things up and he slowed his car down and honked at me. fuckin creep

#tw child death #tw animal death #tw arson #i guess? #tw shooting #tw murder #a lot of that one actually #tw child abuse #tw violence #let me know if u think i should tag anything else #no one wanted this #except for me #tw cult

[aion-rsa]

Old: M. Night Shyamalan’s Twist Ending Explained

https://ift.tt/3kKtl2y

Contains spoilers for Old.

Old is the new chiller from director and screenwriter M. Night Shyamalan who is very well known for his twisty plots and rug pull endings. Fans who go to the cinema for that will not be disappointed.  

Inspired by the graphic novel Sandcastle, by Pierre Oscar Lévy and Frederik Peeters, Old sees a family on a dream holiday get taken to a secluded private beach which they discover is causing them to age very rapidly. But how? And why?

Well, that’s not revealed until the end of the movie. Here we break down what happens and what it all means.

Who Dies in Old?

In short: everyone except Trent and Maddox, the now grown children of the family we begin our journey with. But characters die in different ways and that’s significant. Old is thematically MASSIVE. It essentially attempts to sum up the entire human experience in one movie, indicating a variety of ways a life could go – with twists and turns of course.

Rufus Sewell’s Charles is a doctor with racist tendencies and his rapid dementia sees him become violent. He murders rapper Mid-Sized Sedan (Aaron Pierre), tries to kill Guy (Gael García Bernal), and eventually is killed himself by Prisca (Vicky Krieps), who stabs him with a rusty implement giving him super-rapid blood poisoning. His mother has already died of what seems to be a heart condition at the start of the movie.

His wife Crystal’s (Abbey Lee) calcium deficiency causes the most horrific deterioration scene in the whole movie; her bones crunch and become contorted into hideous and unnatural shapes as they crack and then heal too quickly. It’s a medical condition, sure, but there’s an implicit judgement of Crystal in the background. The beautiful, much-younger wife of Charles is positioned as being overly fond of her looks and as she starts to age and her body lets her down, she hides in a cave in the darkness rather than be with other people. 

Crystal’s daughter Kara goes from being a little kid to a teenager, is pregnant, and immediately loses the baby (harrowing). Later she tries to climb her way to freedom but falls to her death.

This is a doomed family: a disjointed group who essentially all die horribly and alone, as opposed to the family we meet at the start. Mum Prisca is thinking of divorcing Dad Guy; she’s been having an affair, but both parents love their children fiercely and ultimately love each other too.

Only Prisca and Guy are given a ‘good death’ – they live out the minutes of their lives together. The couple reunite and solve their differences, row with each other and their children but eventually make peace with themselves. Though she has lost the hearing in one ear and his vision is severely impaired, they sit together on the beach at the end of their all too short lives and agree there is nowhere they would rather be than together.

Third couple Jarin (Ken Leung) and Patricia (Nikki Amuka-Bird) have narratively significant deaths. Jarin attempts to rescue the group by swimming around the coast, but despite being a strong swimmer he doesn’t survive. This death emphasizes that the group has tried everything and can’t escape. Meanwhile Patricia dies of an epileptic episode. This becomes very significant later in the movie when we understand the drugs she’s been given have prevented an episode from happening for 16 years (more on this later).

What’s the deal with the rapper?

The first people at the island are a famous rapper (according to young Maddox) with the stage name Mid-Sized Sedan (real name Kevin) and the woman he is with. She has taken a swim (naked) and later washes up dead, sparking the first wave of conflict on the beach as racist Charles immediately accuses Kevin of murdering the woman. 

As a catalyst this works narratively and comes loosely from the graphic novel Sandcastle though in Sandcastle the man is an Algerian Jeweler rather than a Black rapper. 

Read more

Movies

How The Empty Man Became the Ring Video of Streaming

By Kirsten Howard

We do wonder though, why, when his companion swam out into the sea he wouldn’t have been a bit more bothered about that and wouldn’t have asked the others for help as soon as they arrived? Also her body doesn’t appear to be especially decomposed when she washes up (while she decomposes very rapidly once on the beach).

Any thoughts about what’s going on here? Let us know in the comments.

So what is actually going on with the beach?

Electromagnetic material surrounding the beach is causing cells to age incredibly quickly – at the rate of around a year every half an hour. The kids are still growing so their aging is more obvious than the adult characters. The adults don’t get grey hair, according to a throwaway line, because hair and cells are dead and so aren’t affected – the same reasoning why they don’t all suddenly have very long hair and fingernails.

Though the film has a strong existential and allegorical angle there is actually, in theory, a real world solution – as in, the answer is ‘science’ and not ‘magic.’ This is why there are no fish in the water on the beach, and why it’s significant that when Trent and Maddox emerge from the other side of the coral they suddenly see a school of fish. The explanation for why they can’t just leave the way they came is that reversing the rate of aging very quickly causes an enormous shock to the system (like resurfacing too fast from deep sea diving), which causes them to black out before they can get anywhere.

So why on earth has the holiday resort actively decided to send people – and these people specifically – to suffer a horrific fate on the beach?

Turns out the resort is really an incredibly elaborate front for a pharmaceutical company…

What does the pharmaceutical company want and why?

This pharmaceutical agency discovers the beach and sees the potential for whole-of-life medical trials to be carried out in just over a day. In theory these trials mean vital medicines can be tested incredibly rapidly for efficacy and also for side effects. Okay, not terribly reliably – medical trials don’t tend to involve observing patients from a distance with no actual lab tests and checks, and the beach is hardly a real-life adjacent or controlled environment. But this is the logic.

Candidates are selected who are having treatment for various specific conditions already. Prisca has a tumor which she thinks is benign, and it’s through her that her family is selected. Others on the beach with them also turn out to have conditions. 

The facility has arranged all of the families’ travel and accommodation and taken their passports away from them – there (supposedly) is no evidence that they even left home, which is how the pharma is able to carry out its plans without being caught.

The system is flawed (it’s obviously massively morally flawed and also doesn’t hold up to medical scrutiny either since it’s hardly a meaningful test when it’s on individuals whose bodies don’t behave at all like regular people, but we digress…). One of the employees points out how unsound it is to put test subjects with neurological disorders in with those with conditions that do not affect the mind. Charles killing Mid-Sized Sedan and stabbing others rather interferes with the results.

On arrival guests are given specially mixed cocktails supposedly based on their preferences and dietary requirements – these cocktails are drugged with whichever experimental new treatment the lab wants to test. 

Another possible hitch: surely treatments aren’t usually one dose and then you’re done for your entire lifetime? But different rules apply here, hence the children needing to eat lots of food to account for their changes in body mass but the grown ups who stay at roughly the same weight don’t have the same issue. 

When the twist is finally revealed, we learn that the events we have been watching are part of trial number 43, and the team are celebrating a victory – the epilepsy drug given to Patricia (Nikki Amuka-Bird) is a success and stopped her from having a seizure for 16 years. (Just as well Charles didn’t murder her first.)

How do Trent and Maddox finally escape?

For a time it actually looks like they haven’t escaped. M. Night Shyamalan’s nefarious surveiller who has been watching the island the whole time is convinced the two have drowned.

Read more

Movies

Jordan Peele Calls ‘Nope’ on His Next Horror Movie

By David Crow

Thank goodness, though, that they have not. While we know countless families before them have died on the island, it still would have been almost too unpleasant not to spare these two. For a start we’ve been with them the whole movie, they’re our focal characters and all of the different actors who play the two as they grow keep us hooked. But these are all children – 11 and six at the start, who’s lives really are being stolen from them. They are not sick. They are not instrumental in progressing medical research. No fancy drugged cocktails for the kids, they are literally collateral damage – loose ends to be tied up. Kara has plummeted to her death but the now grown up Maddox and Trent (Amon Elliot and Embeth Davidtz) are the last hope.

And it turns out to be another child that is their salvation. Trent remembers that he never translated the note that his young pal Idlib (Kailen Jude) gave him in their special code. With frankly nothing more pressing to do than await his death, adult Trent decides to take a look. The amazing Idlib has given him a clue about his uncle not liking the coral. Turns out the tunnel of coral provides the sort of casing it requires for them to be able to get away from the force of the beach without immediately blacking out.

What about the diary?

The diary left by a previous islander is key to the ending of the movie, avoiding having to waste the audience’s time with police incredulity. 

Back at the resort having escaped the beach, the now grown Trent spots a man he’d met when he was six and playing the (narratively handy) game ‘what’s your name, and what is your occupation?’ This guy, he remembers, is a cop.

The diary documents all the things learned by another victim of the beach and the families that were there during that trial. It documents the names of everyone on the beach, as well as the things this person – who, like Trent and Maddox, was a child when they arrived – learned during their last days. The cop is able to quickly cross reference and find that everyone on the list is a missing person, missing at the same time.

Maddox and Trent get their happy ending (kind of) – they are able to expose the dodgy pharma company, prevent any further victims, and are airlifted away after saying a sad and grateful farewell to Idlib, who is very much still a child. 

We do need this ending. The film as a whole is incredibly bleak, and giving these two a chance to save the day is a tonic. Old is careful not to present this ending as too cheerful though. In the flight away from the resort Trent talks about contacting his aunt and when asked about his reaction he replies:

“How would you feel if a 50-year-old man called and said he was your six-year-old nephew?”

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

They are free and they are alive, but what will happen to Trent and Maddox now is a different story.

Old is out now in cinemas.

The post Old: M. Night Shyamalan’s Twist Ending Explained appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[mfingenius]

Any modern lamen will do, but make them drunk!

TW: MENTIONS OF CSA

Laurent doesn’t drink, much less get drunk. He loathes the loss of control, the feel of it reminds him too much of living with his uncle, tongue thick with the taste of wine and limbs heavy, until he’d been too out of it to do anything.

Tonight, however, he goes to the bar with one sole purpose. To get drunk.

He’d heard of the scandal, of some kid named Nicaise up in Arles, suing his uncle for child abuse. Laurent read it on the news, that morning. Everyone in the media had seemed to be surprised; how could this be true, the News reporter had asked, when he’d taken such good care of his darling nephew, when he was around Nicaise’s age?

His darling nephew, Laurent, the only heir to an endless fortune left by his family. His darling nephew, Laurent, whose entire family died in a car crash when he was ten. His darling nephew, Laurent, who’d run as far from Arles as he could get - Ios - the moment he’d turned eighteen and never returns now.

The press had called him ungrateful, then. Problematic. A stone cold bitch, not visiting the only family he had left alive.

Laurent wasn’t surprised. He is, however, incredibly guilty. It piles on top of his lungs, his brain screaming at him that if he had told someone he could’ve saved this kid, could’ve saved countless others, probably, that it was his responsibility to stop him.

Because Laurent doesn’t want to think of that, and because his brain won’t stop screaming it at him, he orders three tequila shots, drinks all of them one after the other.

Then he orders three more.

“Might want to slow down,” A voice remarks mildly, and Laurent turns to look at the man sitting beside him; he is Akielon, that much is evident. He has dark skin, curly hair, and is built much taller than Laurent is, and at least three times as wide.

Laurent wants to kiss him, if only to make sure he hates himself a little more in the morning.

“I don’t want to slow down,” he says, and damn, he’s already slurring. He takes another two shots, but doesn’t immediately take the third because the world spins.

“Clearly,” The man says. He orders whiskey, rolling the sleeves of his dress shirt up, revealing tanned arms - and this man looks way too fancy to be hanging out around here - and looks at Laurent. “I’m Damianos. Damen.”

“Hello, Damianos,” Laurent says, tipping the still-full shot glass slightly before forcing himself to drink it; he should stop now. It’s never been hard to get him drunk, and he’ll be vomiting all night if he keeps going.

He doesn’t think he cares.

“So,” Laurent says, signaling the bartender for another shot. The bartender looks lightly troubled, but he brings Laurent his drink. “What are you doing here, then? What sorrow are you drowning?”

“I’m just hiding,” Damianos says. His face looks incredibly familiar. “Papparazzi never seem to find me here.”

Laurent snorts, resting his cheek against his hand, slipping lightly. “What are you, famous or something?”

“Something like that,” Damianos’s smile is a politician’s, all honest happiness and fake honesty. “What about you? What are you doing here?”

And Laurent is reminded of the exact thing he came here to forget; it doesn’t hurt as much, like this, removed from himself. The pain will be there in the morning, twice as bad, but honestly there’s a point where it hurts so much that ‘twice’ doesn’t matter, because it was unbearable to begin with.

“Doesn’t matter,” Laurent slurs lightly. He takes the shot the bartender had handed him, and then tries to stand up from the stool. He sways, falls, almost, but Damianos catches his arm. He’s warm. “Are you into men, Damianos?”

Damianos narrows his eyes lightly. “I am.”

“Good,” Laurent says. He licks his lips. “Fuck me.”

Damianos gives him a disbelieving look, and then shakes his head.

“You are the most gorgeous man I have seen,” Damianos assures him. Laurent smirks lightly. He’s used to hearing that. “And under any other circumstances, I’d be flattered. But you cannot consent like this.”

Laurent laughs, hollow. “Consent? Damianos, do you think men before have cared about my consent?”

Damianos’s hand tightens on his arm enough to hurt, and Laurent��s eyes close with the pain. This, this is what he deserves. He deserves to be hurting.

“I’ll take you home,” Damianos tells him. “Just tell me where to drive you.”

Laurent refuses to. Even like this, even drunk, he doesn’t want anyone knowing where he lives.

“Take me home,” Laurent whispers, body close to Damianos’s and suddenly desperately alone. “With you. I’m - I’ll be so good, you won’t ever want anyone else.”

Damianos’s hands tighten on his body again, and he does take him home. They make it to the master bedroom, sheets white and mattress impossibly soft when Laurent lies on it. Instead of joining him, though, Damianos covers him with the blankets. He puts a pillow under Laurent’s head, and runs a thumb across his cheekbone in a way that seems fond.

“Goodnight,” he says. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

And he walks out of the bedroom. There, alone, Laurent cries.

—————————————-

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[passionbooties]

title: i bet you taste like gold  rating: t  pairing: raihan/leon  summary: raihan's never been afraid of the chase. because in the end, he always knew he'd be the winner. that all crashes when the reward at the end of the chase is leon: the one man raihan has always lost to.OR five times raihan has mentioned or shown that he likes leon, and the one time leon finally gets it.

can be read on: ao3!

read under cut ! 

I. 

“Damn, we lost again! But ya did good, Duraludon.” Raihan calls back his Pokémon. Rotom flies around to snap photos of the moment. Because even though Raihan lost, he’s still handsome. And there’s something his followers love about his pouts after defeat-a beauty found in the pain, sort of thing. 

He looks upward, to Leon’s smiling face. As brilliant as the sun while he laughs with his partner, Charizard. “Another win for the great champion of Galar!” Leon is so confident , so sure of himself, but so pure. His boasts never come off cocky. Only mere facts that the entirety of Galar have written into their history books as gospel truths. “But it’s to be expected. After all, I’m unbeatable.”

“Yeah, for now.” Raihan snorts, but there’s no derision. No anger. Only this unsettling warmth that seeps into his bones the more he looks at Leon’s smile and continues comparing him to the sun. Bright, orbiting, so expansive and heat-filled that ignoring him was impossible.

Not that Raihan ever tried. He’d been captured by Leon long ago… 

“I was close, though!” Raihan continues, striding over to meet Leon on the other side of the pitch. “Duraludon nearly had your Charizard begging for mercy.”

Leon barks out a burst of laughter, Charizard following suit. “Yeah sure! If that’s what you want to call it, we can work with that.” Raihan rolls his eyes while Leon keeps laughing and laughing. And Raihan’s stomach keeps tumbling and twisting into knots. 

Leon’s laughter is one of his favorite sounds. Better than any music Raihan’s ever listened to. 

Rotom whirrs by, bumping into Raihan’s cheek. A subtle reminder to get his life together and not drool so much over his longtime rival and friend. Right, good. 

“Well,” Raihan works his jaw, adjusting his posture to come off as casual-and not monumental or anything of the sort to show how much impact he wanted his words to convey. “If you were anyone else, I’d definitely try to throw hands. So you’re lucky that I like you so much.”

So much. So much more than any harboring feelings of platonic platitudes he carried for the other people in his life. His heart rate never sped up so viciously as it did around the champion. His thoughts were never consumed by anyone else other than Leon. 

It was horrific. Raihan wanted to scream.

His nerves became static, but Leon doesn’t seem to catch onto his words. Not really, not to their significance. But the smile he gives Raihan is soft, dare he say intimate, and Raihan has to hold back-for now-the urge to pull Leon by his cape and kiss him.

Instead Leon says, “I like you too.” 

And it’s not the same.

Raihan feels the heat dissipate and a weight drop, deep. Then comes the sandstorm. Obscuring the flash of disappointment from breaking through to the surface on Raihan’s face. 

Then they’re swarmed by fans who happened to oversee their battle. Quick as a standard, covering up their tracks, asking Raihan and Leon for photos and autographs of their league cards. Leon, the beloved Champion, falls into the steps of his role. Signs the cards and strikes his pose and sprinkles advice for budding trainers. 

Raihan follows suit. Slips on his little mask and uses Rotom to take a bunch of photos with his fans. 

If every so often, Raihan peeked over to catch Leon laughing with the kids or striking his pose, embracing the spotlight he made with ease, then so be it. 

It was hard to ignore the sun when it shone so close, so brilliantly, anyways. 

  II.

Raihan can’t remember when he fell. 

But he knows it was a graceful fall. A sudden snowstorm that drowned him in the feeling of attachment and yearning and longing for Leon that resonated a powerful chord one day when Raihan least expected it. 

All the leaders of Galar knew about his one-sided affections, except Leon of course.

It had almost become a joke. A running bet among the leaders about how much longer Raihan would skirt around before he finally lost his patience and straight up proposed. Others wondered about the opposite: how much longer would it take until Leon finally noticed?

Both bets ended in similar fashions: whatever the outcome was, it wouldn’t happen anytime soon.

Really, Raihan was somewhat coping with the fact that he was enamored by his best friend and greatest rival who was also, simultaneously, the most powerful trainer in all of Galar.

And the biggest idiot in all of Galar. 

But that’s what was so charming . 

And Raihan really, honestly, should have seen it coming. Leon attracted everyone. He was lion like. Prideful in his strength while caring a sort of regality that made others want to follow him. Raihan always chased after him from the start. To become better than him, to surpass him in the race and become champion. 

Then somehow, someway, the chase ended in a plunge. And Raihan was diving face down into a rainstorm of emotional attachment. 

While he may not remember when the feelings took root, he remembers vividly the first time he ever let it slip to Raihan about his feelings. 

They were eating dinner at Bob’s Your Uncle. Raihan was snapping photos and Leon was making funny faces. Their food was gone by this point, but conversation didn’t stop. It never stopped between them. Leon always had stories to share about challengers who came for advice, for a battle, for a moment to bask in his presence. Raihan was always dishing out strategies, new ways to utilize the elements for his team’s advantage, better ways to craft synergy between his Pokemon in their double battles. 

They were always talking and talking, bouncing back and forth, cracking jokes. Then Leon got called over by the manager and Raihan waves him off, because what is a Champion if not at the beck and call of their people, and as he watches them interact he thinks to himself how Leon looks like a king-cape aside.

Broad shoulders, a strong back, his shoulders squared. Everything in Leon’s stance is that of someone fit to rule. Fit to command. Fit to oversee. Fit to love . Strong and sturdy, a foundation that Raihan found himself wanting to utterly wreck and destroy beneath him.

Then his face got all red. His cheeks burned, a hot scorching sun across the expanse of his face. His eyes wide as he looks at Leon walking back over to him with a bottle of wine and two glasses. On the house from the manager for the two of them being such loyal customers. 

When Leon sat down, he immediately asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I like-” Raihan nearly bit his tongue. Leon blinked and Raihan couldn’t believe he almost confessed. Almost said I like you. I like you. So much, so much that I'm going to be swallowed whole and I had no idea this was going to happen. 

“You like…?”

“Like-that we can use your Champion status to get free drinks, yeah.” Raihan lied easily, smoothly. Ignored the burnt taste on his tongue from his lie. Leon, thankfully, didn’t ask further. They shared drinks and went back to their conversation but this time Raihan couldn’t help but think Leon was the sun, over and over again, and how much he wanted to become an Icarus-scorched by his touch. 

III.

“Honestly, just kiss him.” 

“I’ve thought about that multiple times, Ness.” 

Nessa folds her arms and leans back against the back of the booth, “Super surprised you haven’t gone full dragon mode and slobbered him silly with kisses, at this point. You’re normally much more straightforward with your conquests.”

Raihan rolls his eyes while Rotom snickers. “I’ll bring out the screwdriver on you,” he threatened but that only made Rotom whir and snicker louder. Gremlin. Raihan meets Nessa’s pointed gave, brilliantly blue and as fearsome as the ocean. 

Which he needed, because Raihan was tired of bullshitting himself. Nessa was absolutely correct that Raihan wasn’t being himself. Not really, anyways. Raihan has confidence in his looks, his reputation, and overall swagger that he carries like a crown upon his head. He’s just as notorious, if not just as famous, as Leon-the only man to come close to someone Leon considered a rival. He can get anyone-he knows he can get anyone. 

Usually it only took a smile in their direction, a flash of fang, a flex of muscle, a whisper in their ear covered in husk, sprinkled with secrets they could make between the two of them under bright moonlight and starless skies-yet all those tricks and tactics fell utterly short at Leon’s feet. 

All Leon had to do was exist in the same space and time as Raihan and Raihan forgot how simple it was to breathe.

“Oh wow,” Nessa exhales with a whistle, reaching for more of her shake. She takes a pointed slurp. “You’ve got it bad , mate.”

“Shut up,” Raihan growls, but it sounds pitiful even to his own ears. 

Nessa smirks with her straw still in her mouth, “Listen, I love Leon. Truly do, but the man is only focused on one thing: winning. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him even utter words like dating or love-they’re just too out of his orbit.” 

“You think I don’t know that? The man’s got a bad case of one track mind and he’s barreling down that track at breakneck speeds.” Raihan goes for one of her fries because he needs comfort food and Nessa pinches his hand. “Ow! Rude, Ness.”

“Rai. Call him up and ask him out on a date. Then he can buy you fries.”

“I’ve considered that.”

“And?”

“And… what?”

“Let’s not play the who’s more dense game. Be the forward Raihan I know you can be and ask him out. What are you so afraid of?”

Ah, there it is. What was Raihan afraid of? And truly, what has he to lose? Everything comes snapping at him, fangs and claws at his neck. He never hesitated before. Never, because they were calculated wins. He knew with the people in his past he could obtain them, and obtain them easily. They were games where his outcome always ended with him as the winner. 

But that changed with Leon. Not once, not ever, had Raihan been even close to winning against Leon. Perhaps that spiral of losses had downward dove into Raihan believing he’d lose to Leon in this too. 

Raihan swore and Nessa simply shook her head. “Do what you need to do, Rai. But… if you ask me, I don’t think your chances of success are as low as you think they are.”

Raihan looks up at that. Sees the mischievous glint in Nessa’s eyes and a snow swirl of hope spike up in his chest. “What makes you say that?”

Nessa snorts and finishes off the last of her milkshake before she stands up, “The stars,” she answers impishly before she skips off to the bathroom. Leaving Raihan to stew and mutter and contemplate and go simply mad over her cryptic language. 

Later that night, he texts Leon. Asking a simple question: What would you do if I said I liked you?

He gets a response about thirty minutes later and nearly cries. 

Well of course I’d tell you I like you too. Haha, why what’s going on :P?

IV.

Raihan isn’t avoiding Leon. 

No, he’s simply busy.

He has a gym to run after all. And Pokemon to train. Food to eat and places to explore. The wild area’s raid dens were popping off more often recently. So of course Raihan had to go and explore. See if there were any new dragon Pokemon he could catch, or Pokemon in general to battle against. 

Sure, Leon would text him and Rotom would get all up in Raihan’s face whenever he did. But suddenly, Raihan couldn’t read anymore and to force himself to learn a skill he no longer had would be madness. So he refused to do so!

He was, in fact, avoiding Leon.

But his pride would never allow him to admit that. 

Raihan’s able to pull this off for about three weeks when his luck runs out. 

“Raihan!” Leon’s voice carries across the pitch of Hammerlocke stadium. Raihan stops his training with Flygon and Torkoal, nearly jumping from his skin. 

Shit. Fuck. Shit. Flygon and Torkoal are giving him knowing looks and Raihan’s incredibly close to asking them both to set him ablaze with a flamethrower. 

“Finally!” Leon runs over, all smiles and sunlight and Raihan wants to dig himself into the ground. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all week, yeah? Where have you been? Why haven’t you answered any of my messages?”

Raihan tilts his head. Makes his stance casual, hands in his pocket and words coming out with a drawl. “Been busy, mate. Got a gym to run and all that jazz.”

Leon looks at him strangely. And his sunlight starts to turn harsh. “Right… well, my mum’s grilling up a barbecue tonight. I was wondering if you wanted to come by and hang. I texted you and didn’t get a response. So I thought it’d be easier to just come in person!”

He’s so earnest. And so pure. So straightforward and just. Raihan’s heart squeezes, and aches. Every nerve in his body is snarling at him to confess. To unleash all the truth at Leon’s feet and hope for the best. To not let the fear of losing, again, so visceral, stop him from pursuing the golden man he craves. 

Tell him you like him. Say it over and over until it penetrates the thick fog of obliviousness. Let him know over and over again how you crave the taste of his mouth. Want to run your nails down his back. Want to feel his surety and strength in the palm of your hands. How much you want to-

Rotom softly whirs beside him, having popped out to scope the scene. Flygon and Torkoal are looking at him, encouraging him to say something. To speak. Even if his voice shatters. 

Yet, fear is stronger. 

Fear wins. 

“Can’t tonight,” ashes in his mouth-and the taste makes him sick as he continues. “I’ve already made plans.” he turns on his heel, lowering his visor so it shades his eyes. Leon could pierce through him, easily, and Raihan would rather die than have Leon see how pathetic he feels written all over his face. 

Before Leon can say anything Raihan calls back Torkoal and makes Rotom go into his pocket. Then he climbs onto Flygon and tells it to take him to the Wild Area. Flygon hesitates, for a second. Looks back to Leon and softly hums before taking off with Raihan. 

The mighty tamer of dragons, a coward when it comes to feelings.

Laughable. 

V.

The next time Raihan and Leon meet their world is unfurling at the seams.

Falling apart in bright columns of purple light.

The Darkest Day , Chairman Rose calls it. To save us all! To protect the future of Galar! 

“He’s gone utterly insane,” Raihan hisses as the clouds above them turn pitch black and turbulent. The other leaders and challengers were doing their best to calm the masses and get them to safety. Raihan’s already making plans to go to Hammerlocke so he can go down to the power plant and beat some sense into Chairman Rose himself. 

“I have to stop him,” Leon says from beside him. Raihan is reminded immediately how this is the first time in about a month that they’ve existed in the same space. They had a brief crossing in the locker room before the Championship Cup but it had been tense, and Raihan had kept himself short.

Time apart did his feelings no good. They festered like bacteria, crawling under the ground he tried to firmly pack like worms. Horribly gnawing away at his heart until Leon and the guilt he felt over their last meeting was all he his thoughts consumed. 

“Leon,” Raihan says, the name dropping effortlessly out of his mouth before it can be stopped. Leon glances over at him, his mouth ready to move until the ground starts to shake at their feet.  Crackling, gurgling with ancient energy. “Leon, move!”

Raihan’s body works faster. He pushes Leon out of the way as the earth cracks by their feet. A giant burst of purple energy, raw and vicious, shoots up into the sky. There’s screaming, and the scattering of feet. Dust floats in the air and rubble lays around them. 

Raihan swears again, coughing as the dust settles. He pushes himself upwards, when he realizes the position their in. Leon is sprawled underneath him. Raihan’s on top. And Raihan hates, hates the sort of images that-Leon’s looking at him. And Raihan can read every single emotion behind his eyes-the anger and hurt and surprise and shock and joy and-

“Raihan,” Leon says quietly. Raihan’s snapped out of his thoughts as the world continues to collapse around them. “Are you alright?”

“I,” Raihan works his jaw, tries to make the words come out. “Yeah. Yeah I am. You?”

Leon’s still looking at him, still searching. And for once, just this time, Raihan lets himself be seen. Be pierced. Be examined and looked. Let’s the lion scrape away at the ground until there’s nothing but bare bones of emotion that Raihan can’t really hide from anymore. 

There’s a few seconds that passes, then Leon closes his eyes and exhale deeply. “Help me up, please.”

Raihan does so, robotically. The two stand and stare at each other, a minute more, before Leon steps into Raihan’s space. 

“You can’t go without backup,” Raihan starts. “You’re the Champion and all, I get that. But not even you-”

“I can,” Leon interjects, and he’s so close. So close and so sure, unwavering, Raihan doesn’t know how he thought he could run away from Leon when his gravitational pull was so deep. “And I’ll be back. Safe, and sound, so that when I come back, we can talk.”

“We can-?” Raihan’s words are swallowed whole by Leon’s lips on his. 

Leon kisses the way he battles-sure, strong, and forward. It’s clumsy as all hell though, and Raihan hates the little choking noise he makes in surprise from it all. But Leon tastes like gold, with dirt, with liquid heat. 

Leon pulls back, and his eyes are hooded. But his lips are pulled into the brightest grin as their foreheads touch in the middle of the chaos. 

“Yes, we need to talk. We have a lot to go over." And then, a beat later and with a goofy grin to seal the deal, Leon says, "I talked to Nessa.”

Raihan’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “What did she say-”

“That you like me." Leon says effortlessly. "And that I’m as dense as a house of bricks. And she’s right, I am dense. But she also told me that I need to tell you that yes, Raihan, I like you too.”

Raihan is rooted. Cemented to the ground and Leon just gives him his soft smile, his confident gaze, and Raihan shoots forward to kiss him again. Sharply, one more time before letting go. One more time to make sure it’s real. 

“Brilliant. Absolutely fucking brilliant ,” he wants to laugh in hysterics but now, now is not the time. And this was not the place nor the setting he envisioned where this moment would finally come. “Yes. Okay. We will talk. After we save the world… be safe, Leon.”

“Always, Raihan.” 

#my fanfic #raihan x leon #leon x raihan #raileon #truerivalshipping #pokemon raihan #pokemon leon #treasuredshipping #outcomeshipping

[elliot-elliot]

Things i forgot about in PJO/HOO

TLT:

Percy accidentally fired a war cannon into a school bus

He also accidentally made his entire class fall into an aquarium tank thing

Grover cries when he’s frustrated

Grover has a note excusing him from PE “for the rest of his life”

Halfway though the school year their old math teacher had a nervous breakdown

Once, Percy told Grover that he didn’t think mrs Dodds was human and Grover was deadass just like “yes. You’re right” completely seriously

Chiron has tournament days where he would dress up in Roman armor

Percy assumed all the weird weather was because of global warming

Percy called his English teacher an old sot

Grover is a terrible liar

MASSIVE BLUE SOCK

Grover’s bladder acts up when he gets upset

Sally’s parents died in a plane crash when she was 5, and was raised by her uncle who didn’t really care about her

Sally wanted to be a novelist

She had to quit school her senior year to take care of said uncle, who got cancer

Gabe made Percy provide his gambling funds, and Percy said that if he didn’t, Gabe would “punch his lights out”

Percy has nightmares about Mrs Dodds

Percy genuinely liked Yancy Academy

Percy did the warding off evil gesture towards Gabe, and the screen door shut so hard “it whacked him in the butt and sent him flying up the stairs as if he’d been shot from a cannon”

Percy was stalked by a cyclops in 3rd grade

In preschool, he strangled a snake with his bare hands, and his mom found him playing with it like a rope

At the cabin, grover cursed in Ancient Greek, and Percy understood it perfectly

Percy thought Grover was a donkey from the waist down

Percy tried to get the Minotaurs attention by waving his red rain coat

Percy said he would rather live on the streets or pretend he was 17 and join the army if it meant not living with Gabe

Percy said that Mr D looked like a Cherub

They have satyrs at most schools

There was a different Latin teacher for the first week of the school, but Chiron convinced him to take a leave of absence

Mr D plays pinochle with the satyrs

There’s an orientation film

Grover eats mr D’s Diet Coke cans

Probation in the 1900s was Zeus’s punishment to Mr D

Percy likes basketball

Percy tripped when coming into the Hermes cabin for the first time

Most teachers are literally monsters

For a mortal, nectar and ambrosia turns their blood to fire and their skin to sand

Clarisse calls Annabeth “wise girl”

Percy accidentally sprayed Annabeth with toilet water

Chiron told Percy that he might be considered a myth in 2000 years

Luke pulled a switchblade out of his pocket and Percy thought Luke was gonna gut him

Percy is really good at canoeing

Luke’s the best swordsman they’d had in 300 years

Percy was able to disarm Luke on his first try after he poured water on his head

Hitler was a son of hades, since WW11 was the sons of Zeus and Poseidon on one side, and the sons of hades on the other

Houdini went on a quest to the underworld

In capture the flag, clarisse tried to cut Percy’s hair

Percy apologized for the water healing his Injuries

Someone left a newspaper about Percy and his mom going missing inside his doorway

Mr D wanted to Spontaneous Combust Percy

It’s illegal to make copies of Zeus’s lightning bolt

CHB has a hydra head from Woodstock

The oracle told Percy the prophecy through the image of Gabe and his friends

Grover eats pinochle cards “like potato chips”

Luke made Percy blush almost as much as Annabeth blushes when she’s around Luke

Chiron told Percy only to use his sword in emergencies

Mortals aren’t important enough to be killed by celestial bronze

Percy was famous for loosing pens at school

Annabeth was explaining the Athens rivalry thing to Percy, and he was like “they must have really liked olives” and Annabeth got mad and then he was like “Now, if she’d invited pizza—*that* i could understand” which made her even more mad, and Argus then winked at Percy

Annabeth gave Percy her hat so he could escape off the bus

Grover was gonna defend himself from the furies with a tin can

Grover ties Mrs Dodds’s legs up with her own whip

Percy told Mrs Dodds to eat his pants in Latin

Medusa turned Grover’s uncle to stone

Medusa is/sounds middle eastern

Percy told Medusa that they were from a traveling circus, and when they were alone Annabeth told Percy “your head is full of kelp”

Grover told Medusa that he takes vitamins for his ears

Satyrs can’t get migraines

Percy fucking mailed Medusa’s head to mount Olympus, and he signed the package “with best wishes”

GLADIOLA THE FUCKING PINK POODLE

Annabeth appeared on her dads doorstep in a golden cradle

Annabeth calls Grover “goat boy”

Percy hates confined spaces

I JUST REALIZED THIS HIS FIRST OUT OF 2 (i think 2?? Maybe there’s more??) TRAUMATIC ELEVATOR EXPERIENCES

The chimera has a rhinestone collar that says “Chimera— rabid, fire-breathing, poisonous— if found, please call Tartarus—ext. 954”

Echidna told Percy what she is— the mother of all monsters, and Percy was like “isn’t that a type of anteater”

The chimera poisoned Percy

Percy jumped from the arch assuming that it would kill him, in order to protect the mortals that were on the arch

Percy fucking lit a lighter at the bottom of the Mississippi

The campers were taking sides— Zeus or Poseidon

Gods can’t steal each other’s items directly

Percy said the leather on ares’s motercycle looked like “Caucasian human skin”

Percy said that ares’s was handsome

Percy said he broke clarisse’s spear and ares was like “oh dope”

Ares threatened to turn Percy into a prairie dog

Ares gave them a bag of double stuffed Oreos

Percy thought that the reason he could talk to zebras but not lions was because of another learning disability

They released a zebra into Las Vegas

Percy snapped Annabeth out of the lotus haze by looking her in the eyes and saying “spiders. Large, hairy spiders”

Percy threw away ares’s backpack, but once they left the lotus hotel, it reappeared on his shoulders

THE WATER BEDS

The lotus card had infinite money, and the cab driver referred to her as “your highness”, which Annabeth likes

They let the cab driver keep the (infinite) change

When at santa monica, percy looked out at the ocean, thought about how 2/3rds of the world is covered in water, and wondered how he could be the son of someone so powerful

Percy just. Fucking walks into the water and annabeth is like “percy what the fuck are you doing” and headass just keeps walking until he’s fully submerged

A mako shark nuzzled him like a dog

Percy used to see sea spirits smiling at him in the waves at Montauk beach

Houdini could “escape even the depths of tartarus… damn, talk about foreshadowing

Percy told the bus driver he was a stunt double for a bunch of child actors

Percy said L.A. reminded him of Ares

They got attacked by a gang

CRUSTY

Percy tricked crusty into getting into his own beds, and percy then cut his head off

Grover told Charon that all 3 of them drowned in a bathtub, and Charon looked mildly impressed

Percy bribed Charon into letting them in

Percy’s Traumatic Elevator Experience count so far: 2

The river Styx is polluted

Annabeth held percy’s hand on the boat

Thomas Jefferson is a judge of the underworld

Grover compared Asphodel to standing in a wheat field in Kansas forever

Cerberus is a purebred Rottweiler

Annabeth played fetch with Cerberus

Annabeth promised Cerberus that she would come back and play fetch with him again

Cerberus considers Annabeth a friend

Percy saw things in the Fields Of Punishment that he “didnt want to describe”

Percy said he wanted to go to the Isles of The Blest when he dies

THEY ALMOST FALL INTO TARTARUS.

Percy said that Hades’s eyes reminded him of Hitler’s

Percy wondered if Hades’s underwear was made of trapped souls like his robe was

Percy interrupted Hades to tell him that Charon wanted a raise

Hades threatened to “stop death”

PERCY TOLD HADES TO PLAY WITH CERBERUS MORE

Annabeth gave percy her necklace to wear for good luck (with fighting ares)

Percy jumped over ares on a 6-foot wave

Percy fucking told the entire city of LA that they could get a free appliance, and he gave them Gabe’s phone number. Fucking love this kid.

Finally, a non-traumatic elevator experience

Zeus went to purify his bolt in the waters of Lemnos

Podeiden told percy that his rebelliousness was because “the sea does not like to be restrained”

Poseidon said that sally is a goddess among women

Gabe fucking made Sally go to work when she got back

Percy didnt know that Gabe had been hitting sally, until he saw her flinch when Gabe raised his hand

Poseiden sent him Medusa’s head back to use against gabe

The ares cabin made Percy’s laurel and painted “loser” on it

Sally sold her “sculpture” to an art collector in Soho, got a new apartment, and started going to college

The Soho gallery called the sculpture “a huge step forward in super-ugly neorealism”

Percy told luke he misses being on the quest

Ares caught luke with the bolt and helm

Grover “confused the (flying shoe) curse”

#pjo #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #things i forgot #the lightning thief #heros of olympus #rick riordan #uncle rick

[superwolfiestar]

Now my world is perfect pt. 6

“Woah!” Louie said behind the bush in the top of the hill, “what is that?”

“It’s a palace Louis,” Huey answer, “I mean, there’s a royal flag on the top over there.” He said as he pointed to the flag on the top of the palace right below the castle front balcony. “But the real question is, how will we get in? There’s lot of guards patrolling the area! It’s impossible to get in!”

Huey was right, it is impossible to get in the palace gate without getting seen or caught, they must come up the plans to get in the palace. But how?

“Hey! Over here!!!”

Everyone then notice a same voice before, they turn around and saw what they have seen before from limbo. The same blue glowing orb was flowing in thin air, giving some sort of call to them:

“I know…how to…get inside…without getting seen or caught. Follow me…I know… the way in…”

The blue orb flow gracefully as everyone began to follow the orb, no one didn’t say any words as they follow the orb which the orb led them to sorta of cave.

“You will… enter the palace…. through this cave… it will lead you... to the palace… but you must not make a sound… if you do… you all will… get caught… good luck…”

The orb then vanish as everyone watch. “Should we go inside?” Webby ask. “What choice do we have? Let go!” Scrooge began to enter the cave follow by everybody else. They went through the passage with a phone light as their only source of light. "It looks like this tunnel hasn't been used in years." Dewey told them. A rat ran by, which startled every and made Louie drop the phone by accident. They then calm down before Louie picking up the phone.

"Come on, let's keep going." Scrooge urged.

They continued down through the tunnel. As they kept going, they can hear the people talking through the wall, they are now inside the palace. As they kept walking, they all found something completely unbelievable. A painting, they open a painting as they quietly step out without making any noise.

They exited a room and they are now in of the marble and gold and paintings: ceilings painted to the company of the Greek gods, portraits of the other people. wherever they go, and gold gold gold, so they never lose sight of how wealthy Donald was. "Wow, this is incredible," Scrooge take a look the place. “Never knew Donald was so rich than me.”

They then heard something, and they thead to the upstairs where they down and hide underneath the beautiful flower waterfall valance hanging underneath of the railing. There was a some court ladies in the hallway. My, it's boy princess!" A nobles wife said while seeing his royal majesty walk into the room.

They couldn’t believe of what they all saw, Donald was wearing a wonderful gown. This stunning dress has an off the shoulder bodice that is embellished with shining stones and floral beaded designs. The corset style top has visible boning and a lace up back, which cinch the waist before flaring out into the full skirt. Floral embroidery makes its way down the tulle skirt, ending with a delicate trim around the hemline. In his head was a incredible, dazzling, transparent crystals, elegant pearls of white blended together on his crown. And boy he was beautiful.

“Oh look! It’s him! He steal my heart!”

"My… he's so beautiful as ever today."

"Boy Princess Boy is a most beautiful duck in the palace."

"He’s like a angel that was sent from heaven!"

“Even when he’s a male, he’s still beautiful as ever! He’s will become a beautiful and eligible young duck!”

Donald came into the room as everyone notice him at first then. Donald look absolutely beautiful like the angel and had many admirers in the whole kingdom. He came up to his lover ‘Launchpad. "Good evening LP, are you feeling well this morning?”

"Yes." ‘Launchpad’ looked at her. “I am feeling great! Thank you princess!” He smile at him.

"LP, It seem to me that you alway admires me and make me feel special." He held his fan to near beak mouth. "Why is that?"

"Ah..." He wasn't sure how to answer as he began to blush. “Say, why don't you come with me to the royal garden, for a nice walk LP?”

“Oh! How wonderful that would be! The garden of your palace are delightful at this time of year!” ‘Launchpad’ replied as he kiss Donald hand.

“WAIT!!!!”

Everyone look up as they saw Donald family and friend jump off the railing. They walk forward to Donald. But the guards have suddenly block their way and ‘Launchpad’ put his arm around Donald.

“You!!!” Donald was in shock. “H-How did you pass my guards!!!”

”Donald, we need you to wake up! We miss you. We need you to wake up from this world you created. Please come back home! We love you.”

Though, Donald didn't buy it.

"No you all not! You all doesn't love me, you all just wants to cause more pain because I have bad luck," Donald said coldly.

"That's not true," Huey returned.

Unexpectedly, tears started to form in Donald's eyes.

"Yes it is! I was nothing more but a puppet. You…you would always put me into more damage and depression you all give to me, you would always drag me into dangerous adventure that could got me kill, and Scrooge McDuck would even stomp on my hopes and dreams, that was my family!"

Breaking down, Donald started to cry.

"You're not them. You wouldn't save me from the water; I almost drown if you all could even tried to save me! And I will never come back! This is my home! This is where I truly belong! This is where I can make new dreams! New hopes! And everything! And I wouldn't let you take that away from me!!!”

"Donald, they are immensely sorry for-" Launchpad was cut of by Donald.

"Let me stop you right there LP." Donald says standing up as he walk forward them. "Before you even begin to apologize or anything like that, let me set one thing straight between us. I will not return home, period. I have my own place to stay in my world and absolutely refuse to leave just to return to the family who betrayed me. And everyone in my world treated me with kind, love, and respect that I deserved. And I will not leave them. Got it?"

This caused heartbroken looks among almost all their faces. Except for one.

Scrooge stepped forward. "Donald-"

"Don't even start!" The sailor duck yells at his former uncle. A few flinch at his outburst. "You can't tell me what to do Unca Scrooge, cause as if you didn't already notice, I am an adult now! I can do whatever I want! And decided on what I want! But I would never listen to you again after what you did!" Scrooge was so hurt by Donald words as Donald still continue going.

”You did encourage them to go on an adventure behind my back ending up in a life-endangering situation seems quite dangerous and you all could almost get a kill and I could sue you for child endangerment. But you only think about is more money, more treasures, and more adventure. You never listen what I said.” Donald continue going.

”You only care about money and think about becoming richer and more famous than other rich people. You build a rocket and didn’t tell me! You were indeed WAS responsible for the Spear of Selene and Della death! You trick them, lies to them, and you told them for not telling me about where they go. It like you never trust me.” Donald then take a deep breath with hot tears going down on his white feather cheek.

”But I do trust you Lad-----”

”LIAR!!!!! I think I deserves more respect. You and the kids didn’t respect me and didn’t appreciate me for everything I sacrificed for you! You went to your parents home and you didn’t even bother to take me with you and went behind my back!? AND I WILL NEVER. GO. BACK. HOME!!!!”

Donald was in emotional rage right now. “Arrests them!”

The guards slowly approached them and they began to runaway and went separately in half group and went in different directions the palace.

“If you need me, I will be in my room!” Donald angrily storm out of the hall. “I need to do something in my room.”

#ducktales 2017 #donald duck #now my world is perfect fanfic #fanfic

[miss-m-and-her-blog]

He’s My Girl (Chapter 12)

TITLE OF STORY: He’s My Girl CHAPTER: 12 AUTHOR: miss-m-and-her-blog WHICH TOM/CHARACTER: AU Actor!Tom GENRE: Romance, Action, Drama FIC SUMMARY: He’s a guy, she’s a boy in disguise. He’s an actor, she’s a stuntman or -woman. How can it ever work when the famous Tom Hiddleston stars in an action film, with Charlie or Charlene as his stunt choreographer? RATING: T WARNINGS/TRIGGERS/AUTHORS NOTES: Swear words, once again. FEEDBACK/COMMENTS: Hey, I’m back from a long long hiatus haha :D I hope the readers enjoy this chapter :D

----

“Two more shots of Brandy!” Julian ordered at the passing waiter, screaming as the club’s loud sound system tried to drown out his voice.

After the dinner at the Redbird, the group decided to go for drinks at the neighboring club. Of course, a little partying never hurt. They all sat at a rounded couch at the club’s exclusive corner; Tom and Paula sat together, Julian and Gwen couldn’t stay away from each other now, while Charlie and Lily sat near Paula.

Paula had been engrossed in a full conversation with Lily, talking about what skincare products down to the brushes that Lily uses.

Charlie could hear some of it, but his attention, for now, was on his Bourbon punch.

However, Julian, who seemed to have loosened up, glared at Charlie, “Charlie! Are you still on that punch? Why not have something stronger?”

He held out his hand, kindly declining, “No, man, I’m good. I have a low tolerance for alcohol.”

Tom heard Charlie, then he craned his neck over Paula and Lily that are now huddled together, still talking about make-up.

“Stop being a tosser, mate. Come on, Charlie, just one shot.” Tom urged him.

Gwen spoke up, “Oh you brutes! Let Charlie have his drink!” She then slapped Julian’s thigh.

After finishing their current drinks, they ordered another round. The night is still young and all of them agreed to get piss-ass drunk for the night. Tom was braver now he is a little bit drunk. He insisted on everyone to a dance off while the song Roses by Chainsmokers blasted loudly at the dance floor. 

He encouraged everyone to come down with him. Paula rolled her eyes while Tom jumped around getting ready, “You’re just like that because you can dance.” She shouted over the loud music.

As all of them started to walk out of their seat, Tom came around Charlie, and there, he started to pull Charlie into the dance floor. Charlie couldn't help but be taken away as Tom held his wrist and was pulling him to dance. He was followed by Julian and Gwen, Lily, then by Paula. Unfortunately, when they reached the middle of the dance floor, the song ended.

"Just on time." Tom sarcastically remarked. 

Charlie shrugged, then, they all heard another song play; it was Wanna Be Your Baby by Zara Larsson. 

"This is my jam! Come on, babe!" Julian smoothly linked his arm over Gwen's waist and then they disappeared in the crowd. 

Tom, Charlie, and Lily started dancing to the beat; Paula, who looked around, felt like she wanted to go back to their table, did walk back. When the chorus came up, a good-looking Latino pulled Lily away and they started dancing close together. 

I wanna be your first, your last, your everything I wanna be in your arms and definitely 

Tom belted those lyrics out while jiving in front of Charlie. He made their hands link on to each other, while he swung Charlie's arm from to left to right. 

I wanna be someone you keep coming back to see I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours, I wanna be your baby 

Charlie laughed out loud as Tom looked so funny while he drunkenly sang out loud. But when Tom saw Charlie's smile and heard his laugh, he thought about something he had never thought about before;

Dammit, Charlie would've been so beautiful if ever he became a woman...

Tom couldn't help but smile widely at that thought until he found himself making funnier faces so Charlie wouldn't stop laughing.

Am I that drunk that I now think Charlie could be so attractive?

Tom's thoughts started to mildly alarm him. When the song came to an end, Tom pulled Charlie into the bar until the DJ started playing another bop. 

"Two Tequila shots," Tom asked the bartender. 

Charlie had the look of disbelief, "You're not drinking those two shots by yourself, are you?" 

Tom had a sly smile on his face that Charlie thought for a second if he's talking to Loki. 

“No, you're drinking the other one." He then pushed the shot glass towards Charlie, full to the brim with Tequila. 

The bartender placed the lime and salt near them. The last time Charlie got drunk was when Uncle Barty and his friends made him drink Whisky, and of course, he regretted the hangover that came the morning after. But this time, he's drinking with Tom. Maybe it won't hurt to have a shot or two with his crush. 

Let's have it at the same time..." Tom got the salt and shook some at the back of his hand, "Come on, give me yours," then he also poured salt at the back of Charlie's hand. 

“Ready?" Tom winked at Charlie. 

They both sucked on the thick slice of lime, licked the salt, then finally, shot down the Tequila. Charlie hissed as the Tequila warmed his chest, setting a gentle fire up to his system. 

Tom laughed after drinking his shot, and also because he saw Charlie's cheeks blush red. 

“I think I'm a fan of Tequila now." Charlie giggled. 

And for a moment, he caught Tom staring at him. A smile was on his lips, yet his eyes, brighter than the lights inside the club. 

"What? Is there something in my face?" Charlie consciously rubbed his nose and his cheeks. 

But Tom shook his head gently, "No. Your face is perfect."

Only, Charlie didn't catch what he said as the loud music banged on from the large speakers, "What? My face is what?!" 

Tom only smirked and turned away, "Nothing!"

Little did they know, Paula was observing them from afar. The way Tom talked to Charlie, the way he smiles at him, made her feel jealous.

I know I shouldn’t be... But why? Paula thought to herself.

Once more, she saw them lean close so they could hear each other better. At that time, she felt her heartstrings being pulled apart. She didn’t want anymore to be in that club, more than she didn’t want to see Charlie and Tom together.

With that, she took her purse and left, and without any goodbyes to Tom.

“Hey, where’s Paula?” Tom slurred when he no longer saw her at their seat.

“Where’s Lily?” Charlie looked from left to right, and when he caught sight of Lily at another table, being forced to make out with a guy, the warm feeling inside him became a raging fire.

Charlie walked about and turned back from Tom.

“Charlie, where are you going?”

When Charlie got near Lily, who was struggling from the guy that had pulled him away earlier, Charlie immediately grabbed the collar of the guy’s shirt and pushed him away with all of his strength.

“Get away from my cousin, you perv!” Charlie shouted, feeling braver than usual because of that Tequila shot.

Lily sighed in relief but noticed that Charlie’s voice sounded higher than his usual disguise of tone.

The guy stood up, towering over Charlie. He was burly but drunk, and Charlie knew he could take him down in one move.

“Who are you? Her lesbian bitch?!” He spat at Charlie.

Lily had to hold Charlie down at his elbows so he wouldn’t fight back. The man was clearly an asshole and not worthy to have a brawl with. The man stepped up, ready to land a blow over Charlie’s face, when another towering figure got in between them--Tom.

“Pick someone your own size.” His menacing tone evidently scared the drunken douchebag.

Tom was followed by two bouncers, whom he had asked to intervene at the scene. The man stood back and gulped back when he saw the bouncers, with arm muscles that are as massive as their chests.

Tom then turned to Charlie and Lily, “Are you okay?”

They both looked at each other first, then nodded at Tom.

“Let’s get out of here.” He came over them and pulled them away.

Julian and Gwen also noticed them and they also made their way towards them.

“Tom, man! What happened?” Julian got Tom’s attention.

“We’re leaving” Tom’s eyes were dark, the muscles of his jaws were tensed.

When they finally got out of the crowded entrance of the club, the cold air chilled them as it had been too hot inside.

Tom turned to Lily, “Did he hurt you?”

Lily, who looked dizzy, tried to reply, “No... But he made me drink something.”

Charlie’s eyes widened then spoke through gritted teeth., “I’ll fucking dent that asshole’s face.”

Tom stopped him, “The bouncers had taken care of that. Why don’t we all call it a night?”

He turned to Julian and Gwen; Julian only shrugged, “I guess so. Lily doesn’t look so good.”

Charlie sighed, Lily is just a kid; he may be tall and very feminine, but he would never forgive himself if anything happens to his cousin.

“Okay. I’ll call a cab for me and Lily.” Charlie said while he fished his phone on his pocket.

“I’ll be taking Gwen home if all of you don’t mind.” Julian shyly spoke up.

Tom had a small smile on his lips and nodded at his best mate. He then stopped Charlie from punching numbers on his phone, “I’ll take you two home. Don’t worry about it.”

Charlie wanted to protest, he didn’t want to bother Tom who also looked intoxicated, only, he was just good at hiding it.

“No, Tom, you should go home. You’ve done so much, I can’t--”

Tom only looked down at him with a stern glance. He knew he can’t convince Tom otherwise.

“Charlie, let Tom take you and Lily home. I think that’s for the better.” Julian suggested.

“And you’ll be safe with Tom,” Gwen added.

Charlie finally nodded in agreement, “Okay.”

Tom then turned to Gwen and Julian, “Hey, did you saw Paula back there? I couldn’t find her, everything went too fast.”

Lilly spoke up, “She left. I saw her head for the exit.” He then took Charlie’s shoulder for support as he is getting dizzier by the minute.

Tom only looked down. Maybe he’ll text Paula later.

Julian and Gwen left, then Tom took his car out of the parking while Charlie and Lily waited from a convenience store just beside the club.

While they sat outside, near the entrance steps, Lily leaned on Charlie’s shoulder.

“Couz, your boyfriend is so sweet, isn’t he?” Lily slurred.

Charlie snorted, “Shut up. He’s not my boyfriend. Tom’s just being kind.”

“But you like him, though, right?” Lily teased, even though his head felt it was about to explode.

Charlie didn’t answer that. There was no need for an answer to that, Charlie didn’t just like Tom; he really likes Tom.

When Tom’s car arrived, Charlie helped Lily up and they both sat at the back. Charlie saw that Tom had bought some medicine for Lily.

“Sorry, I had to stop by a drugstore. So, where do you live again?” Tom turned to them.

“Downtown,” Charlie replied.

“Okay. And uh, if I look sleepy, just tap my shoulder.” Tom joked as he started the engine.

Charlie only smiled at him as they started to move out.

While on their way home, Charlie kept Lily’s head from rolling out and had a plastic bag ready when he vomits. Tom saw how Charlie had taken care of Lily over the rearview mirror. He remembered when Charlie told him that he only has his extended family, that’s why he’s this way towards Lily.

Around 1 o’clock in the morning, they reached the Gosengtian residence. Charlie carefully woke Lily up who had been sleeping for a while.

“Lily, we’re home. You have to wake up.” Charlie gently slapped Lily’s cheeks.

Tom saw that Lily is not waking from his nap, “I could help you with Lily.”

Charlie shook his head, already embarrassed, “Please Tom, it’s too much. I can carry Lily inside.”

Tom’s eyebrow raised, “Really?” He doubtfully remarked.

Charlie grunted as he placed Lily upright, “Yes really.”

Tom didn’t bother to listen to Charlie, he got out of the driver’s seat and opened the door at the back seat.

“Come on, I’ll help you with him.” Tom offered.

He had no other choice but to let Tom help him; Tom took Lily’s right arm on his shoulders, while Charlie handled Lily’s left.

When they finally reached the doorstep, Charlie took out his key and opened the front door. The living room and kitchen had been dimly lit, and everybody seems to be asleep.

“Come on. Just quietly. We don’t want to wake Uncle Barty and Auntie Baby.” Charlie whispered as they carefully threaded the stairs while they almost dragged Lily around.

Upon reaching Lily and Charlie’s room, Charlie heard Uncle Barty come out of their room.

“Shit! Get inside! Take Lily inside!” He immediately opened their room and Tom hurriedly dragged Lily inside, and Charlie was left at the hallway.

Uncle Barty rubbed his eyes, dressed in a silk sleeping robe and his PJs.

“Hey. Did you just came in?” He asked Charlie.

“Yep.” Charlie closed the door behind him, sneakily, and tried to get in between it.

“Is Lian inside? Did he came home with you?” Uncle Barty wanted to push the door in to see if Lily did come home with Charlie.

“Yeah. He’s inside. Lily’s just--” He wanted to say plastered but he doesn’t want his Uncle Barty to throw a fit at him when actually, they have brought a man home with them--the number one rule in the household that they have broken.

“He’s getting ready to sleep. And you know, Uncle Barty--” Charlie comically yawned, “I think I need to get going too. Goodnight.”

Charlie quickly dismissed Uncle Barty and got inside the room. When Barty got shut off by the door, he shook his head, “Kids these days.”

Charlie gave out a big sigh of relief when he got inside. Tom had already placed Lily down at the bed.

Tom sat down at the floor, his back at the bed.

“Thank you so much, Tom... for this. I know it’s really embarrassing--” Charlie started to explain.

“Do you always get embarrassed when someone helps you?” Tom teased.

Charlie tilted his head to the left, “Well, it may be a Filipino trait of being too shy when accepting someone’s help--or owing someone a great deal.” He joked.

Tom chuckled then started to get up when they both heard Uncle Barty loudly rap the door, “Charlene, is someone there with you and Lily?”

“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” Charlie cursed while he panicked on how to hide Tom. And no, their closet won’t be able to hide Tom there.

Uncle Barty continued knocking, demanding the door be opened, then, Charlie saw their open window.

“Go at the rooftop. Hide there and don’t make a sound!” Charlie whispered then Tom started climbing up the iron ladder that leads to the rooftop.

“I won’t repeat myself, Charlene, open this door.” Uncle Barty ordered.

When the door opened once again, he saw that Charlie had already changed into a shirt and shorts, his common sleeping clothes.

“Uncle Barty! It’s almost dawn, come on, I’m almost off to bed.” Charlie acted sleepy, but actually, his heart is pounding on his chest.

“Huh. I thought a guy was inside your room. Okay. I guess I’ll stay up. I won’t be able to sleep back because of you kids partying till dawn. I’ll be downstairs, watching TV.”

When Uncle Barty finally turned away, Charlie closed the door and cursed once again under his breath. Tom will not be able to get out at the front door, now that Uncle Barty’s guarding the ground floor, or watching TV. Charlie remembered Tom, and there, he climbed up. He immediately saw Tom slumped down at the worn out couch that they have placed there for hangouts. He was almost snoring when he approached Tom.

“Tom? Are you awake?” Charlie carefully booped Tom’s cheek.

Tom’s eyes flickered open and saw Charlie, in shorts and a black t-shirt, which showed his curves. He thought that it might just be his drunkenness that had made him see Charlie like a woman.

“I’m awake.” Tom held up his hands.

“Bad news. I don’t think you would be able to get out of the house. Uncle Barty’s up and guarding the front door.” Charlie sighed.

Tom, already feeling the drowsiness and own drunken state getting the best of him, crossed his arms on his chest, “Then I’ll stay here until the morning.”

Charlie wanted to say something else, but there was no other way but to let Tom stay for the night.

“Well... I’ll be down for a minute. Just stay there and don’t move.” Charlie strictly instructed him.

Charlie ran and got down the rooftop, barefoot, that the cold stone tiles of the rooftop almost electrified his soles.

Tom waited and tried to stay up, but he would drift out for a minute and then. The next time he opened his eyes, Charlie had moved the table in front of them and there stood a clear glass of water with a diffused alka-seltzer at the bottom. He looked on his left and there he saw Charlie also huddled in a blanket and was watching a movie on his phone, the headphone attached to his ears, and also a glass of water with alka-seltzer that stood below him.

“Hey.” Tom whispered.

Charlie almost jumped when Tom reached out for him. But he immediately pointed the glass to Tom, “Drink that. That will make you feel better.”

Tom only nodded in reply and took the glass and drank from it. After Tom had drunk all of it, he turned to Charlie.

“I don’t feel so sleepy anymore. What time is it?”

Charlie placed down his phone, “It’s almost 3 o’clock in the morning. I thought I was going to watch over you for the rest of the night, so I’ve thought about staying up.”

Tom only looked at Charlie, then asked, “What are you watching?”

Charlie shrugged and took his phone on his hand to show it to Tom, “Just catching up to some Pinoy movies back home.”

Tom, now curious, took the right side of the headphones, “What’s the title?”

Charlie felt Tom closing in, as he became interested at the movie he is watching, “My Ex and Whys.”

Tom placed the headphones on his right ear and huddled near Charlie, “Can I watch it with you?”

Charlie’s cheeks felt burning as Tom smiled at him, still looking his best even when he is sleep-deprived and hungover.

“S-sure. I’ll turn on the subtitles for you.” Charlie replied, trying not to flail around as his crush wants to watch a romantic movie with him.

Charlie played it once more from the start so Tom could relate to the plot. Of course, he had some commentaries every now and then, 

“Oh, so she’s Liza Soberano. She is pretty.” Tom pointed out, to which Charlie explained, “That’s Enrique Gil, he’s always paired with her in movies and teledramas--they’re a loveteam, it’s what they call back home.”

Tom was engrossed in the movie, Charlie could tell. But with the way his so close to him, divided his focus from the movie and the way Tom sat beside him.

Then, the pivotal scene of the movie came up, Liza Soberano’s character, Cali confronted Enrique Gil’s character, Gio;

Am I not enough? <<Am I replaceable?>> 

Charlie had to hold on to something before he could tear up; not while Tom is just beside him, watching.

No, you’re not. Said Enrique’s character.

Then why?! Liza’s character shouted out, finally breaking down to sobs and tears.

Charlie noticed that Tom heaved a grave sigh, then said, “Well shit.”

They met glances and Tom’s eyes looked watery, but he immediately reasoned, “It’s too cold. I’m sniffling because of the cold.”

Charlie smirked, then they continued watching. All the while, Charlie quietly observed Tom when he didn’t knew. He had already taken off his jacket, his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, just like the way he looked like on some photoshoots that he did before.

If only, he could have Tom, just this way, always; he wouldn’t ask for anything more. As soon as that thought came to his mind, he dismissed it quickly.

Who are you kidding? This will only happen once. Don’t get used to it. Charlie berated himself, internally.

The movie ended just before 4 o’clock in the morning. Tom had a pleasant look on his face afterwards, then he said, 

“The ending was quite predictable--it’s a rom-com. But then... I think I like LizQuen now.” Tom explained.

Charlie’s face lit up, then he removed the headphone on his left ear, “Really? Be careful, you might become one of their army of fans.”

Tom leaned on the thick cushioned armrest of the couch, “Well, what’s wrong with that?”

They both laughed out loud afterwards, but they remembered to be quiet or someone else might catch them up the rooftop.

For a moment, they both went silent as they stared out at the skyline of Downtown; the lights of the buildings and streets made it look like the stars are below there on the ground.

Then, out of nowhere, Tom asked Charlie, “Charlie? Have you ever been in love?

Charlie froze, wondering why on earth Tom would ask him something like that.

“I... I don’t think I’ve been in love before...” Charlie replied, timidly.

“I did. A lot of times. It’s the most wonderful yet the most horrific feeling. It was good--no, it’s great. But, I had someone broke my heart before. Well, also a lot of instances, too.”

Charlie didn’t spoke, he let Tom say what he needed to say. Tom placed his longs legs into the couch, reaching Charlie at the other end.

“I don’t know much, sorry...” Charlie finally said.

Tom smiled, wrapped the blanket around him and stared at Charlie.

“We’re friends now, are we, Charlie?” Tom asked him.

Charlie nodded in reply. Tom inhaled sharply, “I wanted you to know that I trust you. Sometimes, trust is like... Crossing a tight rope,” He demonstrated an imaginary line in front of him, his hands, the two points of the tight rope.

“Then someone from below would tell you that they’d catch you if ever you would fall. I’ve been fooled that they would catch me no matter what...”

Tom suddenly sat up briskly that it startled Charlie. He was no longer sure if Tom was still drunk or is he just in between waking and dreaming.

He placed his long arm on Charlie’s shoulder and pulled him close, “Charlie, let’s real talk right now... Would you catch me, if I fall from a tight rope?”

Tom was not making any sense, at least, but Charlie felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter harder, that he stuttered while answering, “Y-Yes, of course.”

Once more, he gave Charlie the most serene of looks, the same look he had back in Suffolk. His face shining and painfully beautiful.

He tried to catch his breath before he lose his own self just because Tom looked so damned perfect at that moment.

“I would catch you... If you fall. Always.” Charlie said it, like it was a pledge of his own love to Tom. Even though it’s far from the possible that Tom can be his, Charlie made it a promise to him, somehow.

“Thanks man... Charlie, you’re the best. Someone should really date you, though. You’re such a kind-hearted person.” Tom rambled as he laid back once more.

Charlie had to touch his cheeks with the back of his hands because he was burning and flushed.

He waited for a while if Tom would get up again, but he heard him snore softly.

“Nope! No, Tom, you can’t sleep here. We got to go down, or we’ll catch a cold.” Charlie shook Tom who awoke easily, but was already sluggish, his eyelids, half-closed.

Luckily, Charlie convinced him to go down to Lily’s room to sleep there for the next hours to come.

“Holy fucking shit!” Lily almost shouted when he saw Tom Hiddleston, sleeping in between him and his cousin, Charlie.

He first ogled the scene; Tom was big-spooning him while being sandwiched between him and Charlie; Charlie big-spooned Tom, who only wore Charlie’s oversized t-shirt and shorts that revealed his long runner legs.

“Cha-Cha! Wake up!” He pulled Charlie’s left ear and it made her wince with pain.

“Fuck off!” Charlie hissed, but Lily pinched him at the sides so he could finally wake up.

“Lily, what’s wrong with you!? I’m trying to sleep here!” Charlie unconsciously wrapped his arms around Tom’s waist, hugging him close like a pillow.

“Did we had a threesome with Tom Hiddleston, huh? Answer me, Charlene!” Lily now growled and that made Charlie bolt right up because Lily had just mentioned his real name in front of Tom.

“Shut up! Why did you called me that? Tom might be awake!” He retaliated with a loud smack on Lily’s arm.

Lily pushed Charlie’s shoulder then pointed out the situation right in front of them. “Explain.” He dirtily eyed Charlie.

Charlie now finally realized what had shocked Lily, there, he started to account to him what happened last night.

Lily only crossed his arms around his chest, his mermaid-hair disheveled.

“Then your Dad woke up and almost wanted to get inside when Tom was still here! He would’ve killed us if he knew Tom was here--so, I made Tom stay for the night.” Charlie gestured at all of Tom, who is stretched out in their bed, sleeping.

“So... We didn’t had sex with him last night?” Lily raised his perfect eyebrow.

“No. For fuck’s sake, why would we do that?” Charlie raked his short hair with his fingers, feeling frustrated.

“Shame.” Lily clicked his tongue.

This time, Charlie slapped his arm, and he mockingly shot a dark look at his cousin, “Hey!”

“Seriously...” Charlie shook his head, then his focus went back to Tom, who is peacefully sleeping in between them; like a demigod from Mount Olympus who’d just decided to a sleepover with them.

Charlie restrained himself from touching his cheek as he slept, yet, Lily’s focus was on another thing.

“Hey, couz. Charlie.” He grabbed Charlie’s jaw then made it face at Tom’s lower half.

“Do you see what I see?” Lily nodded at the protruding shape, just between the valley of Tom’s legs.

Charlie’s eyes widened and he clasped his mouth before he could overreact; their eyes are not fooled, Tom had just a morning wood.

“It’s really a shame we didn’t had a threesome with this guy. Damn... I know what his fans call that! It’s his Hiddlesconda!” Lily teased Charlie who had thrown a pillow over Tom’s loins to cover it, only to have his wood deflect it.

Lily chuckled with delight as he quipped once more, “No! They have a new name for it! It’s Ragnacock!” Lily now cackled loudly.

“Ssh! You’ll wake him! How about you go down the kitchen to get something to eat? And see if Uncle Barty’s gone for the day so Tom could go home now!” He ordered Lily with another slap on the shoulder.

Lily was still giggling and cackling as he made his way into the door, but he looked back, “Hey, don’t even think about peeking at his morning wood.”

Charlie grimaced, “Get the fuck down!” then threw a pillow at Lily’s direction.

He slumped back and kept a safe distance from Tom, that has been sleeping sweetly, even though there had been a small commotion just above him.

Charlie sighed as he watched Tom sleep. He didn’t knew what came over Tom to say things like that last night. But Charlie knew, whatever happens, even his cover could be blown and Tom would hate him for it; he would still love him.

Love him. He repeated that to himself.

Is this it? Does Charlene Lee, a.k.a. Charlie Go had finally and fully fallen in love with none other than, Tom Hiddleston? Is his feelings more than some mad crush? More than of a friend’s?

Charlie only looked away; if he had fallen in love with Tom, he’s not hoping that Tom would eventually return his feelings.

That would be the day, Charlene. He rambled internally.

#my fanfics #fanfic #fanfiction #tom hiddleston #AU!Actor Tom #thfrustration #thfrustration submission #jessica as Charlene

[sardonicnihilism]

A Biography of the Woman Who Never Was

Part 3 The Young Adult

Chapter 30

Shannon and Sam sat on the hood of her car, looking out over the view. They were parked in a clearing overlooking the ridge of the mountains. It was approaching evening, and from where they sat, they could see the transition lines in the sky. Blue closet to the ground, golden bands of clouds sectioning off the layers of red, orange, and pink, hazy purple above that, and the blackened night sky crowning all of that. It was like looking at time itself. Bellow the sky lines, was a sea of green tree tops, stretching into the far horizon.

"Mate! This is gorgeous!" Sam said in awe.

"Don't you have views like this in Australia?" Shannon asked, somewhat amused and proud at the same time.

"Not where I'm from. We got the beach. But after awhile, all the sunsets look the same. This is something else."

"Well, I've never seen a beach sunset before, so it'd be new to me, but, yeah, this is pretty amazing." Shannon was pleased that this place was having the effect on him that she had been hoping for.

"How'd you ever find this place?"

"My one aunt lives over the ridge here. I saw it when I was driving past to visit one day. I come up here to think sometimes; clear my head. There's horse trails over there I sometimes walk in the daytime."

"Well thank you for sharing this with me. I'm unbelievably grateful and humbled."

They both continued to look out over the ridge and watch as the night sky slowly melted down over the other layers, taking them over.

Sam began to have a gnawing sensation in his conscience. He bowed his head and spoke softly. "You know, Dan warned me about you. He said you were a spooky girl. That you were dangerous."

Shannon just shrugged, never turning her gaze away from the horizon. "I'm not surprised. It's a reputation I got honestly. I'm not even sure I regret it. It has its advantages and disadvantages; like most things in life I suppose."

By now, Shannon was almost hypnotized by the night sky. It's infinite blackness called to her and her mental barriers started breaking down.

"I love horror. Horror novels, movies, short stories, I even read the reprints of the old EC horror comics. My favorite type of horror is cosmic horror.

"Cosmic horror is about how humans are an insignificant speck in an indifferent and even malevolent universe, controlled by things we couldn't possibly understand and would go insane if we tried."

Sam turned his head to Shannon. "Is that what you believe?" He asked worryingly.

Shannon shrugged again. "I'm a Christian. I believe that the universe was created by a just and loving god, who'll one day come down, make everything perfect, raise the dead, and we'll all live forever with perfect, beautiful bodies. At least I think so. That's what I tell myself. That's what I want to believe.

"Except, that's not what I see. How could a just and loving god sit back and watch His children die? Either by there or natural causes? Why would He create a reality with diseases, earthquakes, floods, and other natural disasters? How could He sit back and watch war, murder, rape?

"I was born the illegitimate offspring of an alcoholic mother from a one night stand. She was physically and emotionally abusive. One night, when I was about five, her boyfriend at the time, came into my room and molested me. Thanks to him, I knew what cum tasted like. I eventually went to live with my biological aunt who I call mom because she actually did the fucking job of raising me, but my sister remained with my birth mother.

"I was severely, morbidly obese for most of my life. I was picked on, hit, ostracized from all others. The only friend I had, used me and almost let me drown. Meanwhile, I lived with my grandmother who was quite literally insane. She pissed and shit in a bucket beside her bed. Sometimes I would wake up during the night and see her just looking in at me like some ghost.

"One time I tried to kill myself by slitting my wrists. When I got out of the hospital, my one uncle asked what I did. I told him. He asked how. I showed him the scars going across my wrists. He said, 'oh no, that's not how you do it. You got to cut down your forearm, not across '. I told him I'd try to remember that for next and he responded that he was just trying to help.

"I eventually got mixed up with a bunch of self proclaimed witches. They told me I was a natural witch. I started learning witchcraft underneath them. Then, one night, I did a vision quest ritual with them. They gave this sour, red liquid, and I had a vision where I was proclaimed the new Lilith and Shub Ni' gureth. Millions of horrible creatures tore out of my body, each becoming a new universe, because all universes are born of pain. Then what was left of me was devoured by Azathoth. When I woke up, I was terrified. I told them I didn't want to go any further, so they kicked me out.

"I tried to rededicate myself to my faith, but I started hearing voices and seeing things; shadows and specters, just outside my view. I started hearing other noises and things seemed to move on their own. I never feel alone. No matter where I am, it always feels like millions of eyes are looking at me, watching me, waiting to pounce.

"It got so bad, I started believing I was an angelic warrior and this was God testing me. I started carrying a dagger around with me everywhere. One night, I attacked my mother and almost killed a homeless man. I think. I can't be sure if he was real or not. All that right before I started school.

"When I started, everyone I met, I talked about witchcraft and demons too. I scared a lot of people. Traumatized a couple. So, yeah, I am a creepy girl. I'm still trying to find out about the book the coven used, 'The Book of Forgotten Nightmares'. So far, I can't find anything on it. I figure that's either because it doesn't exist or it's so obscure, no one knows about.

"And God sat back and saw all of that and did nothing to intervene. How could He do that? Why would he do that? Maybe because if He does exist, He's not benevolent. Maybe He's a sadist. Or maybe he doesn't exist at all. Maybe we all are just a dream in the mind of Azathoth and the most merciful thing he could do is wake up."

Shannon suddenly realized everything she had said and bowed her head in embarrassment. "Sorry. I guess I scared you off now."

To her surprise, Sam softly said, "No."

Shannon looked at him in shock and noticed that he, now, was too, looking off into the night horizon.

"Me dad was a drunk. He started out ok, owned his own business, only the occasional drink with the lads on the weekends. Then the business started to fail, he started drinking more, becoming violent. More so to mum than me sister and I, but we still got our share.

"Our next door neighbor, he had always been nice to me. I thought of him like a friend, like an uncle, hell, like a bloody father. One day, he says he has a bike for me in his house. I walk in, he shuts the door behind me, next thing I know, he's on me and then in me. Eventually he gets me to start bringing my sister over and he makes us 'perform' while he videos us for him and his pedo friends.

"One night, Dad gets extra wasted. Starts beating on all of us. Mum says she's had enough and tells him she's leaving with the kids. He goes, gets his shotgun, lines us up against the wall and says he's gonna kill us and himself. Mum says he might be evil enough to kill us but he's too chicken shit to pop himself and he's not man enough to survive prison. So he throws us out.

"We go to Mum's mum and dad's but they say that we're an embarrassment and she made her bed and now she had to lie in it. Luckily there was a women's shelter nearby and they took us in. We lived there for about a month before Mum found a job and a place to live. Never saw Dad again after that. I heard he got remarried and has a new family now. Good on him if he did, but I can't give a rat's ass about him.

"I had dreamed of being a professional dancer. Trained nearly all me life for it. Then, one day, I realized that if I ever did get famous, the tabloids would go digging and knowing that there's pictures and videos of me, out there, somewhere, being forced to rape my sister, I couldn't take the chance, and gave up on that dream."

Shannon just stared at Sam in horror. "So you know," she said slowly and methodically, watching her words carefully, "the world is a cruel and indifferent place, set up to destroy us and drive us insane. It truly is best to never have existed at all."

Sam suddenly spun around and looked at her in shock. "No! To the contrary. Life isn't fair but it's not unfair either. Life is just a series of physical and chemical reactions. Fairness is a human construct we try to impose on nature. But that's the thing, it's up to us to say what is fair, to hash it out, to make life fair for us.

"I don't regret being born. I'm glad I'm alive. Sure me life ain't be easy, but it hasn't been all bad. There's been a lot of good too. Even in the darkest night, there's still light. Life is a tapestry. Like all tapestries, there's light colors and dark, but all together, they form a beautiful picture. We just have to learn to appreciate it."

Shannon shook her head and smiled. "I don't know if I should hug you or punch you for being so wonderfully naive."

"Well, if I have choice, I know which one I'd pick, especially given those arms of yours."

Shannon laughed and said, You dork!", and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Not that's its my business, but what made you go this route?"

"What, the muscles? Well, like I said, I was morbidly obese as a kid. Larger muscles burn more calories. Also, it makes men think twice before trying anything. I mean, you could be 300 pounds of pure muscle, a black belt in every martial art, and a champion boxer, but if you're out cold because someone spiked your drink, it doesn't matter, but, still, they see how big I am, it causes them to think twice. The best way for prey to avoid a predator is to become one herself."

"Fair enough," Sam said and they both turned to look at the night sky.

For the first time in a long time, Shannon didn't just see the infinite darkness but the billions of stars within. Each one giving out unfathomable heat and light. Even with all that, they couldn't dispell the darkness but, each, in their own way causing it to retreat just a little bit and in the process, shine that much brighter.

It was then she thought about how far away those stars were - hundreds, thousands, millions of light years away. Surely some of those had burned out long ago; dead, yet their light still shone, going on forever. She started to fell like she was on the verge of a profound epiphany when she suddenly farted. A loud, long, rumbling fart.

Both Shannon and Sam started busting out laughing. Maybe in the end, the only true and appropriate response to the eternal infinite is just to let one rip and laugh your ass of about it. It's not like the universe is going to mind.

#dark #fiction #drama #queer stories #sad #slice of life

[thecreativeangel]

Protector (Peter Parker x Reader)

Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

*Please don’t plagiarize my work, thank you :3*

Summary: You’d never thought of Peter as the kind to starts fights at school but here he was, sitting beside you on the cold floor of a supply closet, bleeding and bruised.

Warnings: Blood, violence (a fight, basically), Sad!Peter. 

Word Count: 2,236

You were picked up your textbooks and notebooks, hugging them to your chest and walked briskly out of the classroom. It had been a long and terribly boring school day, as most school days were at the end of the year. The popular guys were pissing off the teachers and talking loudly, the more fashionable girls were Snap-chatting in class, and the teachers were fed up with everyone but still sane enough to give out detention slips. You balanced your binders on your knee while trying to open your locker as quickly as possible, eager to get on the bus to go home. It was Friday, and school was ending next week, much to everyone’s relief. A text from Peter just minutes before had left you in good spirits; he asked to come over like always for a Friday night movie marathon with Michelle and Ned, set with popcorn, ice cream and junk food of every kind. Stuffing things into your backpack and slamming the locker shut, you started down the hallway. The loud chatter from other students passing you gradually got more quiet as people in the very front of the school grew deadly still and began to crowd around something, blocking the entire hall. Whispers and muttering broke out, students everywhere desperate to get to the front where pushing and shoving your small form. Suddenly, a loud, collective gasp came from somewhere in front, followed by laughter and something being banged against what could only be a locker. You huffed loudly, just wanting to get to the buses until-

“Parker, Parker, Parker…” The students in the front chanted, jeering even louder now. Your eyes widened and the breath left your lungs. You shoved people aside, ignoring their grumbles and cursing to break into the inner circle. Another loud metal bang echoed, almost drowned by the loud laughter. Charging through row after row of high schoolers, you ignored the sharp jabs to your stomach from different restless kids. Maybe it isn’t him. You think, already knowing the answer. C’mon Peter, please don’t tell me it’s you out there. Reaching the inner circle, you desperately tried to squeeze between the line of tall guys that stood in front. You duck down, finding a little crack between the wall of jocks to look though. Sure enough, Peter’s beat up sneakers were just visible as he was pushed backwards against the line of lockers.

“How’s that Parker?” Flash Thompson’s voice rang out, angry and arrogant. “Wanted to taste the floor today, didn’t ya?” You hear Peter groan loudly, probably attempting to fight back.

“Hey, leave him alone!” Ned yelled, also trying to help his friend.

“Let me handle this Ned.” Michelle warned, and you calm down a bit. Michelle could help- she was very scary when needed. “Wait ‘till I get my hands on that son of a bitch.”

“What are you going to do?” One of Flash’s friends taunted. “Bore us to death with some nerd science?” Michelle snarled, losing her cool. Poor Ned had to grab both her wrists to hold her back.

“Hey Parker,” Flash announced, lifting Peter off the ground by the hem of his t-shirt. “Why are you so annoying, eh Parker?”

“A-all I did was tell you to s-shut up.” Peter retaliated, squirming. “Not my fault you have the temper of a bull with anger issues.” Flash grabbed Peter’s hair and slammed his head against the lockers. This made anger boiled in you like hot lava, making your head fill with thoughts of how to brutally murder Flash. You pushed even harder against the blockade Flash’s friends made, only managing to kick them in the heel. Fuck that. You think, absolutely enraged. The teachers just had to be in a meeting right now.

“Puny Parker,” Flash teased, cruel and unforgiving. “No wonder you hang out with the losers. D’you really think the Liz Allan would go out with you? Good thing you gave up on that, right? How does it feel to be such an epic loser that you hang around them!” He pointed to Ned restraining Michelle.

“And that other weird girl, what’s her name?” Flash asks. “Bet she only hangs around you ‘cuz she feels sorry for your ugly ass!”

“Leave them out of this! Leave her alone!” Peter yells, swinging his arms to punch Flash.

“Aww, does Puny Parker have a new crush?” Flash cooed, fake pouting. “Gonna go home and cry to your aunt and uncle? Oh wait-you can’t ‘cuz your uncle’s dead. Probably killed himself when he saw what a little bitch he had as a nephew-”

“ENOUGH!” You roared, finally forcing your way past Flash’s ogre friends. Stomping over to him, you let the backpack fall to the floor with a ‘thud’. The students became silent, watching the scene that was unraveling before them. Flash was so shocked he dropped Peter, who slumped against the lockers. You rush to him and drop to your knees, taking his face in your hands and inspecting it. Peter mumbled something about being fine, but his bleeding lip and bruised cheek said otherwise.

“You’ll be alright Peter.” You soothed, wiping the hair from his forehead. “Can you breathe okay? Not going to pass out, right?” He nodded weakly, face growing pink from embarrassment upon realizing that everyone was watching them.

“Okay-umm…” You glance at Ned and Michelle, then help Peter up, slinging his arm around your shoulder. “Y-you’re going to be okay. I’ll make it okay.”

Limping Peter over, you slip his arm off your shoulder and let Ned hold him up. “Take him to the storage closet.” You plead. “Stay there-I’ll be there in a bit.” Michelle nods solemnly and begins to shout at people to make a path. You slowly turn to Flash, a new fire in your eyes.

“What gave you the right?” You ask quietly, your voice a dangerous calm. “What gave you the right to treat him like that Flash?”

“Hey shorty, don’t start.” Flash says, smirking down at you. “Don’t even pretend you can hurt me.”

“Maybe I can’t hurt you, although rest assured that I really, really want to.” You hiss spitefully. “You envy Peter, don’t you?” Flash’s grin slips off of his face and he growls, cracking his knuckles.

You continue, not intimidated by his actions. “You envy Peter because he’s smart enough to be a damn nuclear physicist,” Your voice is rising steadily, reaching the point of near shouting. “And the only job you’ll ever get is serving food at FUCKING MCDONALDS!” Pinching the bridge of your nose, you calm down a bit, feeling about ready to physically explode.

Flash steps closer to you, his red face looking down at you menacingly. “Are you threatening me, you little-”

You cut him off almost immediately, standing on your toes to seem taller. “Am I threatening the great Flash Thompson?” You announce sarcastically. “Hell yeah I am. Don’t think I didn’t see the S.O.L. cheat paper in your backpack. Y’know how much trouble that can get you in? Forget detention, dumb-ass. That’s worth expulsion from school.” Flash paled visibly, stepping back from you.

“You wouldn’t-”

“Oh yes, I would!” You snapped, flailing your arms around wildly. “I can have you expelled faster than you can say your own name. So how about-” You walk up to him and jab an accusing finger at his chest.

“You leave Peter, Ned and Michelle alone-” You poke him a bit harder, taking another step forward. “Stop being such an asshole-” Another sharp prod to his chest.

“And if you ever hurt Peter again, I’ll make the rest of your high school years a living hell!” You shout, pushing Flash back forcefully. Then, picking up your backpack and spinning around on your heel, you stomp away, leaving the stunned highschoolers behind.

The hallways are a blur as you break into a run, sprinting to the famous storage closet that is often used as a hideout or meeting place. You skidded to a halt at the familiar grey plaque on the wall that read “Room 201: Storage”. It takes three quick knocks, a pause, and another two for Ned to open the locked door. You dart inside and take in the sight before you. Peter looked nothing short of terrible; his lip was still bleeding profusely and there was a nice sized cut on his head that made the hair stick to his forehead, staining it a dark red. It hurt you how utterly defeated he was. Remind me to kill Flash later. You think scathingly. Michelle elbows Ned in the side and stares pointedly at the door. When Ned gives her a confused look in return, she rolls her eyes and pushed him out of the storage closet, giving you a hopeful smile before shutting the door.

“Why didn’t you clean up?” You ask, keeping your voice calm.

“I was waiting for you to come.” Peter murmured faintly.

“Peter…” You trailed off, picking a roll of paper towels off a shelf.

“It’s pathetic, I know.” He said, hugging his knees to his chest. “Maybe-maybe you shouldn’t hang around me… You’ll just become another target for Flash.”

“Peter, you’re the smartest person I know…” You start, crumpling a paper towel into a ball. “-so why are you being such a dumbass?” Peter looks up, surprised at the change of tone.

“…What?”

“You heard me. Stop being stupid.” You dab gently at his forehead with the ball of paper towels, seeing him wince at every touch. “How could I ever want to stop being around you, hmm? You’re a freaking awesome guy, smarter than anyone else I know. You’re kind and funny and fucking amazing, okay? And Flash won’t even come near us any more unless he wants to be kicked out of school.”

Peter chuckled slightly. “Knowing how you get when angry he probably pissed his pants. Twice.”

“Don’t dodge the topic.” You said coolly, throwing the bloody towel away and getting a new one. “Why do you think you’re not enough? Why don’t you understand how much I-”

“Because-because I don’t know!” Peter said exasperatedly, throwing his hands up in defeat. He was trying to keep it together but the way his voice cracked when he spoke told you how he really was. “You’re you, and I’m just me! How could I possibly be enough for someone like you, huh? Spider-man is the hero, he’s the one who saves people and climbs walls! I’m Peter fucking Parker, the loser who couldn’t even save his-”

You wrap your arms around him, effectively shutting him up. Both of you stay still for a while and you refuse to let him go until his breathing evens out. After hours, or maybe just seconds, Peter sighs in content against your hair, slumping into your body and relaxing. Your hand weaves through his brown locks, gently tugging and pulling, making him whimper softly.

Before you could even think what you were doing, you pulled away for a second and brushed your lips against his jawline ever so lightly. Peter froze and his heart rate began to speed up again.

“Spider-man is great, really he is. But Spider-man’s no Peter Parker.” You say in a rushed whisper, placing his head on your shoulder. “Peter Parker is this fantastically nerdy guy with endless science jokes and big geek glasses and-and he never fails to make his friends laugh, and he may just be the dictionary definition of perfect! That’s how you are, Peter. Just a big ball of freaking adorable dorkiness and it should never be any other way.”

You could feel Peter smile against your shoulder, rubbing his nose against the fabric of your shirt.

“You’re amazing too y’know.” Came Peter’s muffled reply. He moved his head to speak clearly. “You scared Flash Thompson. That’s worth at least a Nobel Prize, being that bad-ass. And you’re better at science than me.”

“Wow Peter, no big speech for me?” You say, laughing slightly. “Fine then. We’re both pretty impressive, huh?”

Peter dug his face back into your shirt and hummed.

“D’you want to go to your place and just chill for awhile?” You ask hesitantly, scared he would freak out over the kiss and say no. Peter beamed brightly and nodded.

“Sure. Stay the night?” He replied, feeling a lot better now. The iPod in your pocket dinged and you saw a text from Michelle explaining that she and Ned were going to skip movie night just this once. You rolled your eyes at the wink emoji that she kept sending.

“Obviously.”

If anyone were to walk into the living room of the Parker residence at about 11:30 p.m., they would have seen a girl and a boy asleep soundly on the couch, the TV still playing old episodes of Teen Wolf. The two teens were, of course, a hopeless mess of tangled bodies. Both your hands were entwined in Peter’s hair and one leg was thrown over his hip while his arms were wrapped around your waist, his head against your chest, pulling you closer. At around 12:45 a.m. Peter’s hands would move lower to a less innocent place on your body and by 2:20 a.m. you had both rolled over so that you were now on top of him, your head in the crook of his neck. At 4:30 a.m. you sighed in your sleep, peaceful and happy.

#peter parker #spiderman #spider-man: homecoming #spiderman imagine #peter parker reader insert #spiderman reader insert #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #spiderman x reader #spiderman x you #spiderman tom holland #spiderman oneshot #oneshot #spiderman drabble #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman fic #spiderman fluff #spiderman headcanon #spiderman marvel #spiderman movie #peter parker tom holland #peter parker imagine #peter parker oneshot #peter parker preferences #peter parker angst #spiderman angst #peter parker drabble

[delayedresponse]

Break Silently: A Short Story on the Stigma Against Mental Illness in Asian Society

When I was eighteen months old, I was sick with a terrible fever. The doctors were pessimistic and told my parents to prepare for the worst. My parents, grief-stricken, were not ready to say goodbye to a child they had only just met. My nai nai spent that entire day at the temple, praying to whatever deities that I would make it through the night.

I made it through the night. And the one after that. On the fourth day, I was discharged. My parents were overjoyed. The doctors, however, were not too hopeful. Be careful, they said, a child that has sustained such a high fever is not likely to make it out unscathed.

When I was five years old, I was in kindergarten. Happy and carefree, just like any kid my age. I was noticeably slower than my peers and had difficulty learning. My teacher, during a parent conference, told my mother with a worried look about how I seem to stare off aimlessly into space. She suggested I get help. My mother was furious. “My child is perfectly normal!” she snapped.

When I was seven years old, my family had gathered in front of the old television for a night of serial police dramas. A patient escapes from an institute and goes on a killing rampage, claiming the voices in his head told him to do so. My father was disgusted, saying that he should be locked away forever. My mother was glad that no such people exist in reality. I kept quiet and did not mention the voices I have been hearing recently.

 When I was ten years old, I learnt how to numb myself. How to drown out the whispers and the shadows. It did not always work. Sometimes, I would flinch at things that are not really there, get anxious and talk to myself. Shenjing gui, said the staff. Retard, said my classmates.

 When I was twelve years old, I was pushed down a flight of stairs and my bag was thrown into the drain. The culprits were my own classmates. I bought it up to the headmistress the next day. “Why don’t you just stop acting weird?” She asked. From that day onward, I never felt safe in my own school.

 When I was thirteen years old, I had my first panic attack. I cried until my throat was raw and my eyes were red. I was reprimanded for causing a nuisance and sent back home. The attack lasted thirty minutes. It was the shortest one I ever had.

 When I was sixteen years old, I made a friend - a small, mousy girl named Janet. After school, I would go to her house and sit in her room filled with glow-in-the-dark stars and vintage movie posters. I’m going to become an actress, she said. I’m going to America and I’m going to become famous. She asked me what my dream was. I want to become a doctor, I replied. I want to save lives and make the world a better place. Impressed by my answer, she grinned at me, the glow from the stars reflected in her teeth.

 Our brief respite was interrupted by her mother coming home from grocery shopping. She was incensed to find her daughter lying on the bed next to the school’s resident psycho. She chased me out and made Janet promise not to see me again. Janet, fearful of her mother’s wrath, agreed to her demands.

 I swore once I was done with this stupid school, Janet and I could be friends again. But there was no such luck. Two years later, Janet moved to New Zealand with her family. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

 When I was eighteen years old, I enrolled in a college near my house. I picked up a course in basic medical sciences. Things got better for a while - no one really has the time for bullying when there is a multitude of tests to study for. I did well enough to get a paid internship at a nationally renowned hospital. There, I got to train alongside doctors, nurses and practitioners. It was quite literally a dream come true.

 When I was nineteen years old, I was fired from the hospital. Some patients remarked about how jittery, paranoid and “strange” I was. The head pharmacist dug up the reports from my old school. The next day, I was dismissed without warning. As I collected my belongings from the locker rooms, I heard the nurses whispering about me - he was scaring the patients, mumbling to himself like that. I knew he was mental. What if he snaps and hurts us?

 I was nineteen years old and I was ready to die. I climbed the college’s fire escape to the seventh floor and positioned myself at the railings. My professor mentor saw this and grabbed me off the roof. On the college’s orders, I was sent to a psychiatrist, where I was unceremoniously diagnosed with major depressive disorder, severe anxiety and unrelated psychosis . My mother cried during the road back from the hospital. This was two days before my birthday.

 When I was twenty years old, I started going for therapy. The counselor was an elderly Portuguese woman with graying red hair and an infectious smile. She reminded me so much of Janet. I liked her immediately. We talked about everything under the sun. She gave me medicine that cleared my head and helped me smile. She became my closest confidant and friend. She understood me, never pitied me or tried to tell me that I am over-reacting. I found myself enjoying the sessions.

 I was twenty-one when I graduated. I went on stage to collect my diploma, the small roll of paper heavy in my hands. My parents insisted that I phone all my relatives to tell them the good news. They offered me words of congratulations. “You must be very happy,” said an aunt. I did not have the strength to say that I was not happy, just numb. A deep aching numbness that I could not shake.

 When I was twenty-two years old, my parents grew tired of me. I did not have a job. I was doing nothing in life. Every application I sent out was rejected. Nobody wants to hire a broken worker. Soon, my parent’s wariness turned to anger.

 Toughen up, said my father. Start acting like a real person. Make yourself useful. No more of this nonsense.There are people who have it worse than you. My ah gong who smoked himself to stage-three lung cancer. My uncle who has had multiple strokes after refusing to change his diet. Real problems, not fake ones like mine.

 I was twenty-two when my parents cancelled my therapy appointments and confiscated my antidepressants. Desperate for money to see my counselor again, I took a job at a tea house. The physical demands of the job combined with my chronic fatigue took a toll on me. I remember thinking how unfair it was. That I was alive, when all I wanted is to be dead.

 My co-workers shied away from me. Maybe they knew instinctively that I was not right. That I was broken. The laoban of the tea house eyed me critically. He had seen my health report, hadn’t he? Maybe he knew I was sick. Maybe when he saw me as what everyone else did - a Shenjing Gui. Like the ones in serial police dramas.

 People do not what mental illness is. People do not want to know what it is. Asia has progressed so much, both technologically and scientifically. Despite this, the mere mention of mental illness continues to be taboo. Somehow as a society, we have decided to ignore it. Is it our pride? Is it ignorance? Or perhaps the belief that no such thing exists?

 In my experience, it is all three. This stigma is embedded in our culture, becoming a way of life. It would take a long time before we realize it, let alone fix it. Until then, I will just have to learn to break silently.

#ableism #abliest language / #my writing #my post #asian #story #stories #culture #asian culture #mental health #mental illness #mentally ill #mental disorder

[cometladyicarus-blog]

Character Sheet - Dragon Age Marian Hawke

Name: Marian Revka Amell Hawke

Nickname(s): Mari, Sister, Sweetie, Daughter, Varric calls her Hawk

Codename: Hawke, Champion, Boss

Race: Human

Gender: Female

Age: 23 at Lothering's Destruction/Ostagar

Faction: Ferelden; Templar supportive;  

Class: Apostate Mage

Weapon(s): Sword and Shield

Armor: Heavy Armor

Place of Birth: Honnleath, Ferelden

Parent(s): Malcolm Hawke (Apostate Mage) (d. 3 years before Act I), Leandra Amell Hawke (Former Noble) (d. Act II)

Sibling(s): Bethany Hawke (sister) (d. Lothering Escape), Carver Hawke (brother)

Spouse/Significant Other: Fenris “Wolfe”

Other Relatives: Uncle Gamlen Amell, Cousin Charity, Cousin Solona Amell, twin children Jayme Cullen Wolfe and Aveline Bethany Wolfe

Magic-Using Relatives: Father, Sister, Several Amell Cousins

Mentor: Father, Ser Berkley

Friends/Allies:  

Carver Hawke

Guardswoman/Captain of the Guard Aveline

Guardsmen Donnic

Varric Tethras

Merrill

Fenris

Captain Isabella

Sebastian

Grudgingly, Anders

Knight Captain Cullen Rutherford

Knight Lieutenant Thrask

Knight Templar Kerran

Warden Captain/Knight-Enchanter Solona Amell

Alignment: Neutral Good/Lawful Good, something around there, though the mages would be more inclined to think of her as Lawful Evil because she keeps sending them to the Templars as according to the law.  

Warrior/Peacekeeper: She's more inclined to use humor to defuse a situation, but when the potential fight involves something that offends her "Ferelden Peculiarities," she is more likely to be on the Warrior side of the spectrum.

Torture/Healer: She knows some healing spells, but she's not an expert at them, but even without magic she's better than most of her Company back at Ostagar, so was trying to help the makeshift infirmary by providing bandages and health poultices. If blood magic/slave trade/kidnapping is suspected to be a part of the situation, however, Hawke has had years of learning at her father's side all the bones that can be broken in a hand, and knows how to break them. If blood magic is not involved, she does have a scary looking sword she can swing around and terrorize answers out of people if just asking isn't working.

Range/Melee: Melee, sword and shield; (Inq-Era) Range Magic Staff

Rusted Knight/Greenhorn: Ostagar survivor, she went in idealistic and independent, came out of it scrambling to hold on to those she cares about and still has nightmares about. Hawke develops into a more "rusty knight" type of person as people keep coming to her with their problems they wants fixed.

Cynical/Optimist: She believes Kirkwall is a cesspool and a disaster, where no one should ever live. She does believe it is possible for conditions for mages to be improved, but that the common people will always fear magic and likely attack magic out of that fear. But Hawke is also very good at drowning her private thoughts into whatever best suits her situation at the moment. By Act II, Hawke has been "outed" for being a broody drunk in the Hanged Man once most of the group has left by Varric and Isabella.

Appearance: Default markless Hawke preset without makeup– Light grey/blue eyes, dark near-black hair that often looks like she cuts her hair with a dagger herself instead of going to someone else to keep it short, she's a little shorter than Carver who seems to tower over everyone else,

Disability(ies)/Health concerns: None

Scar(s): Various battle injuries have left scars

Tattoo(s): At certain points, she will have smeared the blood on her face into the iconic image of her wearing the mark that went into her "official" image in The Tale of the Champion's portrait of her; The blood mage tattoo was carved into her arm during the fight with Danarius and she hasn't been able to make it go away;

Accent: Ferelden, fades a bit into Kirkwall over the course of the story

Prized Personal Possession(s)*: Malcolm's Staff; (Post Act II) Her mother's note;

Pet Peeves: Her mother's blaming her for Bethany's death despite the apology after getting the will back; People always going to her for help with their problems no matter how small or big; Being reminded about "her" Templar problems; Owing debts (money or otherwise); Varric not having a nickname for her (He does, but it sounds exactly like her name); Being pulled into the Mage-Templar conflict; "Ferelden Peculiarities" as Kirkwallers would call it – slavery, a lack of personal independence to choose who one wants to be, a lacking of dogs, Andraste in the Chantry wearing armor and holding a sword, the political song and dance before getting to the point, overheating instead of always being cold;

Likes: Keeping her family and friends safe and provided for; Magic being treated as a dangerous weapon and helpful tool and then being respected as such; dogs; reading; (Act III) learning languages; dancing in the Hanged Man; Going to the Chantry for lessons on the Chant; exploring the lands outside of Kirkwall; (Inq-Era) Exploring Thedas; the trail of dead slavers between herself and Fenris; 

Dislikes: Blood magic; demons and spirits; power abuse; the fact she often actually sympathizes with Gamlen; kids being used as tools; Fereldens being abused by the Kirkwallers who are more wealthy; The stuff elves deal with and how she never quite has enough political pull or power to make the Alienage safer in general; Gamlen's asinine comments; Her mother clearly having favorites among the Hawke siblings; Her mother trying to reclaim lost glory in the name of the Amells; Being alone without someone she feels she can confide to; Being "other" in groups (Ferelden, Apostate, not Templar-hating being the major reasons); Spiders

Vice(s): Approval seeking from Leandra, though she likes approval from people in general; Validation that she's not a "bad person"; Roaring rampages of Revenge once provoked enough; Her desire to keep people she feels responsible for safe; She enjoys tweaking noble people's sensibilities of 'proper'; 

Natural Abilities: Magic, has little to no trouble learning magic and mastering it; a knack for picking up languages;  

Trained Abilities: Sword and shield combat; Using humor to defuse situations; herbalogy;  

Understand Language(s): Common; Chasind; (During Acts I and II) A smattering of Qunlat; (During Acts II and III) Learns Tevinter;

Communicable Language(s): Common; Chasind; (As of Act II) Some Tevinter; (As of Act III) Tevinter fluently

Signature Outfit: She is famous for her Champion of Kirkwall bronze segmented armor she was given after being declared Champion; In reality, she was seen, before and after becoming Champion, most often wearing medium or heavy plate armor that was less fancy until she needed her Champion gear.

Formal Attire: Champion of Kirkwall armor; As Scion of the Amell family, she wears a set of nice robes with the Amell crest, or a custom dress made to slightly resemble a hawk in pattern and some feathers to be worn in her hair

Fallen Attire: She'd be drenched in the blood of her enemies she had used in combat against them; or wearing ornate and incredibly fancy clothes [Not sure really, I mean, Hawke isn’t a Warden and wouldn’t become Tainted, and it wouldn’t be in her to become a bloodmage either, so “Fallen” is sort of a placeholder term for “if goes evil or something”]

Lazy Attire: A tunic and breeches with leather boots

Catchphrase(s)/Famous Quotes: "Hawke this, Hawke that. Why does everyone come to me?"; "Hey! I tried to fix it, they just broke it!"; "Woah, is killing them the right choice right away?"; "WHERE DID THAT BLOOD MAGE GO?"; "Eh, he deserved to die."; "It wasn't my fault!"; "I have a role. I defend Kirkwall."; "Seriously?"; [In response to something crazy] "Oh. That sounds like every day to me."; "You do realize that if they send me, things are going to bad, right?"; "I really don't have time for this."

War Cry: "For Ferelden!"; "GET OUT OF MY KIRKWALL!" "And here they come again."

Nightmare(s): Failing to save Bethany; Failing to save her mother; failing to save Carver; failing to save her friends and others who depend on her; Templars discovering she's a mage; being made Tranquil; Never regaining her mother's approval after Bethany died; The blood mage tattoo activating and turning her into a blood mage regardless of her wishes; Blood magic; The Battle of Ostagar; Her name being used in the rallying cry of mages breaking Circles everywhere; Her role in the Mage-Templar Role; The Dead blaming her; Blighted Spiders that were the first wave of Darkspawn invading Lothering and killing those who were last to flee;

Hope/Goal(s): Not being responsible for a constantly growing number of people; 

Secret(s): She doesn't realize that she places too much responsibility onto herself and she's enabled her mother into essentially holding her down into a live she's miserable in out of "duty"; She wishes she could just give everything up and turn herself over to the Templars to join a Circle; She hated the idea of being noble; Her feeling about always putting on a show of being "responsible," "kind," "respectable," and "dutiful"; She hates being the Champion of Kirkwall when it seems like the Viscount doesn't actually do much of his job by handing most of the stuff onto her; She has a weakness towards being called “pretty” and “beautiful” by people whose opinion she values, but has a hard time believing it because she’s used to people calling her sister and mother beautiful and her just “strong” or something, so when Fenris first calls her that, she freezes and flees from him;

*Story behind this/these:

Malcolm's Staff – When Hawke refused to use her magic after burning a neighbor's barn down, Bethany inherited their father's staff and used it while the Hawkes escaped Lothering. When Bethany died, Hawke carried the staff with her anyway and only used one spell after Beth's death before going to Kirkwall to disguise the staff as a walking stick for Leandra. When they arrived in Kirkwall, the staff was stashed out of Gamlen's potential reach while in his home, and then placed above the mantel in the Amell Estate with the spell removed. Everyone knows the staff is there, everyone knows Leandra married an apostate and that Templar Hawke and Serrah Hawke are the children on an apostate, but neither have touched the staff except while moving it to one residence to another. When Hawke flees Kirkwall, she takes the staff with her. She uses it during her time with the Inquisition

Leandra's note – When Hawke lost her mother to blood magic, Hawke had felt she had failed another in her family – Bethany who died, Carver who left to join the Templars because he felt he didn't have a place, their father who had died years before, and now their mother who had also died. Hawke also had a less-than-positive relationship with Leandra because of the Bethany Death Guilt Card that had been used often enough for Leandra to keep some semblance of control over her own fate – as she likely thought of it – and then Hawke's general failure to assimilate into Kirkwall noble life. Overall, Hawke had felt that she was Leandra's greatest failure since Bethany was the ideal daughter despite being a mage, and Leandra was closer to Carver as a non-mage. This letter was in an envelope filled with similar letters. Hawke keeps the letters in a pocket of her belt or robes, and flees Kirkwall with them.

#Character sheet #Dragon Age #DA2 #Marian Hawke