#this is trash im just gonna lay down and sleep and cry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

builtbybrokenbells · 1 year

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Spitfire | vii

After days of radio silence, a heartbroken y/n makes an attempt to find comfort in the closest thing to Jake; his twin brother. Josh works his magic and manages to penetrate the tough exterior she’d been building since the big blowout. She questions her own heartbreak enough to jump on a plane to Atlanta, realizing that ending things so abruptly may have caused herself more hurt than good

Read part six here

Read part eight here

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 7.6k

Warnings: sadness/depression, insecurity, anxiety, breakup talk, unhealthy coping mechanisms, long emotional talks, smoking (marijuana), crying, angst, fluff, sorry if i miss any!

howdy. i am so happy to be here again with y’all. i’ve been writing this fic steadily since I released the last chapter, and it’s gotten pretty long, so I had to split this one in half! im getting so excited for the end of this just so i can wrap it up and everyone can be happy 🤩 there’s gonna be one more after this so there’s some more fluffy smuttiness to end this saga on a high note. thanks for the support thus far, and sorry for the drama in the last chapter 😞 i promise it doesn’t last too long and it is completely cleared up in this one! as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes!!

The days passed slowly, dwindling down into one big, long, never ending cycle. Your clothes were piling up in the laundry basket, there were empty fast food bags littering you floor, and the steady stream of unanswered texts and calls seemed to never stop. It was nearing a week since the ‘Twitter incident’ (which was the only was it was allowed to be referred to) happened, and you hadn’t broken the radio silence with Jake yet. He never gave up, though. Through everything, you did have to admire his persistence. It was the day you were originally set to fly to Atlanta, and it was taking every ounce of your strength to not tear up the plane ticket and throw it in the garbage.

Jake’s name was a taboo subject in the house, and your friends knew that. When you had taken almost permanent refuge in your bed, they had practically given up hope that the situation would ever resolve. You rarely left your room unless it was to use the washroom or grab a food delivery from the front door. Your laptop remained in your bed and you worked from there. Hiding away was easier than facing the hard conversations, you decided. You were heartbroken, definitely, but more angry at yourself that you couldn’t get over your fear and just answer his phone calls, even just to end things maturely. You’d convinced yourself it was easier to end things on a what-if, rather than a certainty.

All of the items Jake gifted you were neatly placed on your desk, his sweater on the bottom and his cologne on top. The small box containing the ring was loudly laying next to it, and the plane ticket in the envelope was gently resting at the top of the pile. You had no idea what to do with them. The sight of them alone made your stomach turn. You wanted to throw them all in the trash, or burn them, just so you never had to see them again, but there was a bigger part of you that wanted to put the sweater back on and remember him for a little while. It was a hateful battle you were fighting with yourself, and there seemed to be no end in sight. You wanted to feel close to him, but you didn’t want to think about him. You wanted to love him, but every part of your body was holding you back.

Your end of day meeting wrapped up and you closed your laptop, wondering if you would be able to get some shut eye. You were teetering between not sleeping at all and sleeping only when you shouldn’t be. As you shoved the computer to the side and turned towards the wall, you reached to the corner of the bed and pulled a pillow into your chest. It was a much neglected one, lost and forgotten in the mess of all of the others. When you buried your head into the pillowcase, your breath caught in your throat. The scent was familiar, but extremely faint. Even so, you’d recognize it anywhere. The ever so subtle hint of his shampoo dusted with the remanence of his cologne felt like a punch in the stomach. You wanted to throw it away, to get rid of it completely, but your arms wouldn’t let go. The longer you breathed it in, the more the tension left your body. Your eyes fluttered shut, feeling more comfort than you had in days.

A little while later, you woke up to the sun setting outside of your window. The golden glow cast a peaceful aura over the otherwise gloomy room. You stretched, taking in a deep breath before rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You were stiff and beyond sore from laying in bed so much. The blankets were tangled around you and your head felt a little bit clearer; it had been a few days since you’d gotten any amount of sleep that was actually restful. Unwillingly, you hauled yourself out of the bed. You found your cigarette pack and pulled out a joint, placing it between your lips. You figured that you’d be able to get some more sleep under the right circumstance.

You hoisted yourself up on the deep windowsill, swinging your legs up and resting your back against the wood. You slid the window open, feeling the fresh air hit you in the face. You let out a sigh of relief, enjoying the moment of clarity. You lit the end of the joint after you popped the screen off the window. You let your hand rest outside, trying your best to keep the smell minimal. You pulled your phone from your pocket, clicking the screen on and checking the time. Before you put it away, you attention was grabbed by your last received text message.

Twin Rockstar

Please call me, mama. I won’t tell Jake I was talking to you. Just want to hear your voice.

A feeling of guilt ran through you. You were so caught up in how you were feeling about Jake that it clouded over the love you had for his brothers. You stared at the message until the joint was burnt out, unsure of what to do. In a moment of irrationality, you clicked on his contact and hovered over the call button. After a second, you found the confidence to hit dial. It rang once, and your stomach churned with uncertainty. It rang twice, and you debated hanging up. When it rang the third time, you didn’t have time to doubt yourself, because he had answered.

“Y/n?” He breathed. You were frozen, unsure of how to respond.

“H-hi,” you eventually mustered, realizing how scratchy your voice sounded. A week of barely talking and smoking like a chimney had done your vocal cords no good.

“I can’t believe you called.” He said, sounding a bit exasperated. “I was expecting you to ignore me forever. I didn’t really plan out what I was going to say.” He gave a nervous chuckle. You weren’t sure how to respond. “Can you FaceTime me? It’s just me in my room, I promise.”

“I don’t look very presentable,” you mumbled. Josh’s heart was breaking at your sullen tone. You sounded like you barely had any life left in you.

“I think you’re beautiful no matter what.” He said. Within a second, he requested the video call. You accepted, heart aching at the sight of his face. You never realized how much he looked like his brother until now. He took in your features, the dark circles encasing your under eyes, the paleness of your skin, the bloodshot eyes. “I miss you, mama.” He said, finally. He knew better than to bring anything else up, scared it might make you end the call.

“I miss you, too.” You admitted, feeling a lump forming in your throat. “I’m uh, not sure what to say, either. Just called because I wanted to hear your voice, too, I guess.”

“That’s okay. I’m just happy you did.” He said. He was sitting on the edge of his hotel bed, holding the phone up so you could see the background slightly.

“Are you…” you trailed off, not knowing the best way to approach any conversation. “Are you in Atlanta, now?” Your voice cracked a bit as you spoke, but you cleared your throat to cover it up.

“Yeah, we got here earlier today.” He informed you. You gave a small nod. “You know, that invitation is still there.” He whispered. Your heart sped at the mention of your ticket. “It can just be me and you, we can hang out for a few days. You don’t even have to come to the show.” He explained. “Even though everything happened, you’re still my friend. I think so, at least.”

“Of course we are, Josh.” You assured him. There was no doubt in your mind that you loved him. “I just couldn’t do that to Jake.” Even as you willingly spoke his name, your heart ached. “I’d never use the ticket he bought for me and not tell him.” Josh gave a solemn nod. “Uh… how is he? Jake, I mean. I just-you know what? Never mind.” You let out a small laugh at your own stupidity. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to know.

“How is Jake?” Josh let out a chuckle, pondering his answer to the question. “Um, well, he’s pretty much unbearable to be around.” Josh said as nicely as he could. “Not very good, if I had to guess. He’s always angry, showing up late to everything and barely participating, and he doesn’t really speak to us unless he has to. He broke a string on his guitar during soundcheck earlier and just… left. Haven’t seen him since.”

“Oh,” you whispered.

“I’m not going to sit here and throw a pity party for him. I’m not gonna force you to talk to him, either. But he is miserable, and we have no idea what to do about it. It’s not your fault, though. Don’t think I’m blaming you, please.”

“It kind of is, isn’t it?” You posed the rhetorical question. “I mean, yeah, he broke my heart, but I broke his, too.”

“I don’t think any hearts were broken intentionally.” He corrected. You didn’t answer, only watched his face with a hint of sadness growing inside you.

“You guys really are twins,” you noted, talking more to yourself. He gave a small smile. “I miss him. A lot.” You finally admitted. “And that’s not like me. I don’t know what happened that day, and a huge part of me doesn’t really want to know. But there’s also this hole in my heart that I just can’t seem to fill. I’ve always been so good at shutting people out, and moving on as if they never mattered to me in the first place. I hate being love and I hate being vulnerable, but I almost miss it, now. He made it seem less than horrible.” Your voice was dangerously quiet.

“Do you still want to be with him?” He questioned. Your eyes fell to the window again, hoping to avoid his gaze.

“Yeah.” You sighed. “I’m just… terrified. Like absolutely fucking terrified. Falling for him was so easy. I don’t think I’ll ever feel this way for someone ever again. But, that also means he has the power to hurt me more than anyone else in the world. If he decided to get up and leave one day, he just walks away unscathed, and I lose a whole part of me. I don’t like that feeling. It scares the shit out of me.” You picked at a hangnail on your finger, too nervous to look up at him. “If you couldn’t tell, I hate depending on people for anything.”

“But you don’t have to depend on him, mama. You were happy before he came along, and you were happy when you guys were together. You didn’t start dating him because you were searching for happiness, but because you wanted to make him a part of your happiness.” You were mad, because you knew he was right. You hated nothing more than someone speaking reason while you were hurting. “As for the hurting you part, I know he already did. I know that it was not intentional, but he still did, and you’re allowed to be upset about it. I also know that he would never be stupid enough to hurt you again, because he’s really paying for it, now. You don’t have to be scared of him, because only thing he wants to do is love you.” You felt tears sting your eyes. “I’ve been by Jakes side his entire life. I’ve seen every girlfriend, fling, breakup and make-up. Nobody in the world has ever compared to you. I can see it just in the way he looks at you, or when he talks to you. If you want to love him, then do it. Don’t hold yourself back because you’re scared. We’re all scared of something, but all it does is ruin the chance of something fantastic.” You thought about what he said, clinging on to every word.

“He didn’t cheat on me, did he?” You seemed to already know the answer as you asked the question.

“No, he didn’t. If he did, I would have killed him, myself.” You couldn’t help but laugh.

“So in short, I just overreacted and ruined everything.”

“No, I wouldn’t say that. The internet is crazy, and it’s great at spreading rumours. If you’ve been hurt like that before, I can see why you were upset. Didn’t help that he forgot to tell you where he was or what he was doing. But it was innocent, and if you’ll let him, that’s his responsibility to explain what happened.” He said. You felt a bit of relief after days of misery. You were a bit angry with yourself for being so stubborn and not talking to him sooner.

“I think maybe I just wanted an excuse to run. I’m really good at that. It’s all I’ve done my whole life.” You admitted. “Commitment was never my thing. The only times I ever let myself get involved with someone, it ended terribly. Guess I was subconsciously trying to avoid an even bigger blowout.”

“We can always change, y/n. I’m not telling you to do anything. I just hope I’m helping make your decision a little easier. If you want to come to Atlanta, you’re more than welcome. Even if it’s to scream at him, or for closure, or even to propose to him. It wouldn’t matter. He’d just be happy you showed up. My opinion of you doesn’t change. It would suck if you didn’t get back together with him, because you’d be a super cool sister-in-law, but that’s your choice.” You both let out a laugh. “I won’t tell him we talked. I’m just happy to hear from you.”

“Thanks for listening, Josh. I know he’s your brother, and nothing will ever come between that. I’m just glad you don’t hate me on his behalf.”

“Come on, now. Do you really think I’d ever hate you? Fuck, he doesn’t hate you, either. I know he sits in his room every night and waits for you to call. Kinda sad, if you ask me.” You chuckled. “He wants to fix this. If you want to, too, all you have to do is say the words.” He assured you.

“Okay,” you breathed. “I have some heavy thinking to do.”

“Seems so, mama. Want me to leave you to it?” You knew it was probably for the best, but you didn’t want him to hang up. You missed him, even if you’d been actively avoiding him. He also reminded you of Jake, and in some sad way, it was the most comfort you’d felt in days. “I don’t have to, if you don’t want me to.”

“No, it’s okay. I won’t keep you and make you listen to my problems any longer.” You joked.

“It’s a pleasure to listen to your problems. I missed you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I missed you, too.” You smiled. “Thanks, Josh.”

“Anytime. Don’t disappear on me again, okay?” He scolded. You nodded. “And maybe I’ll see you in a few hours?” A hopeful gleam appeared in his eyes.

“Bye, Josh.” You chuckled. You wanted to answer, but you weren’t sure what to tell him. You didn’t want to get his hopes up for no reason.

“Bye, y/n. Love you.” He said as he hung up. You were left alone again, but you felt better about it than you had in a long time. You popped the screen back on your window and shut it tightly before you jumped down from the windowsill. You looked down at your phone again, seeing a new message from Jake. You read as much as you could from the notification bar, not feeling courageous enough to open it fully. But, you knew what you had to do. As afraid as you were, you couldn’t ignore Jake forever. Even if you both talked it over and went separate ways, it was better than leaving things as they were. You knew you were pushing it if you were going to make the flight, so you got ready as fast as you could.

You set your cell down beside the Jake’s sweatshirt on your desk, abandoning it for the time being. You pulled some jeans and an old sweatshirt from your closet, making your way to the bathroom. You clicked the lock behind you, studying your reflection in the mirror. You looked horrible, borderline sickly. Instead of focusing on that, you flipped the faucet of the shower on. You rid yourself of your dirty clothes, jumping in and quickly washing off the days worth of despair. When you got out, you dried off and dressed yourself. You threw on a splash of makeup, mostly just to cover the dark circles and give your skin a bit more life.

You blow dried your hair, brushing it out and styling it a bit. When you finished, you returned to your room and grabbed the card Jake had given you. You flipped it open, grabbing the ticket and shoving it in your wallet. You packed a small bag, throwing Jake’s sweater in on top of everything. You snapped open the box holding the ring and slipped it back on your finger. In a real moment of weakness, you took the cap off the cologne bottle and sprayed a single spritz on the front of your sweater. The scent surrounded you like a warm embrace on a cold day. You placed it back down and gathered your chargers, throwing them in a carry on. You packed your laptop and checked the time on your phone again.

You had an hour to get to the airport if you were going to make the flight. Jake had booked you a evening flight, allowing you some wiggle room after work. You were so thankful he did, because if not, you’d have already missed it. You slung your bags over your shoulder, quickly checking your pockets to make sure you had everything important, and walked out to the living room. When you reached the main room, Ally and Eve were sitting on the couch watching a movie. When they looked up at you, their eyes widened.

“Can one of you drive me to the airport?” You asked.

“Yeah,” Eve was on her feet faster than she could answer. Ally stood, wanting to go on the trip, too. They followed you to the door and you all filed into Eve’s car. You threw your bags in the trunk before you settled in the front seat and buckled your seatbelt. Music softly played over the speakers, filling the awkward silence as the car pulled out of the driveway. “So…” Eve trailed off.

“I know,” you sighed. “You both told me I should go. I’m stubborn and heartbroken, but you were right. I have to go, even if it’s just for closure and to give him all of his shit back.”

“That’s okay. No matter how it goes, you know we have your back.” Eve said, never taking her eyes off the road.

“M’sorry I’ve been so insufferable.” You apologized, looking out the window at the street signs passing by.

“You haven’t been that bad, really. You mostly just stay in your room. We’ve been worried about you more than anything else. I’m just happy you’re feeling better.”

“Well, that’s relative.” You chuckled. “I’ll give you a better answer about that in a few hours.” She nodded. You pulled out your phone, pulling up Josh’s contact again. You dialled his number, only hearing the phone ring for a second before he picked up.

“Missed me so much you had to call me again?” He teased.

“Seems like you missed me. You answered awful fast.” You replied, feeling a touch of your personality making its way back. “Listen, can you do me a favour?”

“Depends on what it is.”

“Meet me at the airport?” You asked, incredibly hopeful. “I should be there around 11.”

“Really?” His tone was completely different, now, excitement radiating through the phone call.

“Yeah.” You said, a smile breaking out on your face. “Don’t tell Jake, please. I just… I want to talk to him in person, and I don’t want him to put any walls up before I get there. I know I would, so…” you trailed off.

“I’ll be there. Secret stays between us. I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me, either. I’ll see you soon.” You promised.

“See you soon. Have a safe flight.” He said. You ended the call, looking over to your best friend. She was trying to hide it, but a smile was eating away at her face. The rest of the drive went by almost silently. When the car pulled into the drop-off lane, Eve turned to look at you. She reached over, placing a hand on top of yours, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I’m proud of you.” She whispered.

“Thank you.” And you meant it. It was extraordinarily hard for you to face an issue like this. It was extraordinarily hard for you to realize that you loved him enough to want to work things out instead of disappear. You got out of the car, them following close behind. You grabbed your stuff out of the trunk and turned to face the two girls. “I love you guys. I may be back tomorrow, maybe in a couple days… who knows.” You gave a nervous chuckle.

“Whenever you do, we’ll be here.” Ally said. A soft smile formed on your lips.

“Let us know when you’re there safe, and call if you need anything. Even if it’s just to scream.” Eve chuckled. You gave them both a hug, holding on a bit tighter than usual.

“See you guys later. Thank you for everything.” You said before you turned. You didn’t let yourself look back at them, scared that you wouldn’t get on plane if you did. Once you were through the main doors, checked in and got your boarding pass. Then, you went straight to baggage, dropping your stuff off. When you went through security, they gave you no issues. You located the gate with ease, having been here a fair few times in the last few years.

You were right on time; had you waited any longer, you likely would have missed the flight. When you boarded, you took your seat and kept your backpack close to you. You pulled out your headphones, giving Josh a quick message telling him you would be leaving in a few moments before putting your phone on airplane mode. You turned on a playlist, pulling your notebook out. The flight attendant came by, checking in on you before takeoff. You asked for a coffee, hoping to be as wide awake as possible when you got there. It didn’t take long for the announcement of takeoff. You sipped on your drink, watching the sky through the window as the earth disappeared.

When you were in the air, you pulled down the tray table from the seat in front of you, setting your notebook down and opening it to your last worked on page. You figured if you had some free time, you could at least get an early start on your work.

You stared hard at your hand drawn chart, grabbing a few highlighters from your pencil case. You highlighted the curve overlaps from hypoglycaemic heart rates and voltage levels, then did the same with the hyperglycaemic measurements. Below, you made notes of the correlation and began the treacherous journey of attempting an equation to describe the relationship. Four pages of numbers and scribbles later, you were brought back to reality by the loudspeaker announcing the plane was prepared to land. The night sky was pitch black, a luminescent glow underneath the clouds from the city lights. You packed all of your things back in your bag, assuring yourself you’d get back to it later.

When the plane came to a halt, all of the passengers were given instructions on how to exit and claim their baggage. You took your headphones out, stuffing them in your pocket, standing while you did so. When you got off, you immediately looked around for a familiar face. When you didn’t see one, you made a move to grab your suitcase. You took your things and went to the main lobby, searching around like a lost puppy. You felt your hope fizzle away when you couldn’t locate Josh. Your heart sped, your brain immediately trying to convince you that you should turn around and go home, that showing up was a terrible idea and Jake wouldn’t want to speak with you. You were plagued with the worst thought of all; Jake really had done the unforgivable, and you were walking into your own grave.

You were shaken from your nervousness when you heard your nickname being called, one you hadn’t heard in days. The one that only sounded right coming out of Jake’s mouth. You looked up, eyes immediately falling on the boy you’d been looking for. A grin was plastered on his face, and he was holding his arms out to you. In lieu of embarrassment, you ran towards him and practically fell into his arms. He held on to you tightly, never wanting to let go. “Hey, mama.” Josh whispered. You didn’t reply, only soaked up the emotion from the hug. Once again, you hated how similar the twins were. If you only felt the hug, you could have sworn it was Jake, especially after going so long without his touch. “How was the flight?” He asked as he pulled away.

“I actually didn’t even realize we were about to land. Got working on my research again, just kind of got caught up, I guess.” You laughed.

“You tired?” He asked, looking over your face. You shook your head.

“No, I actually took a nap before I called you, earlier. Plus they had free coffee refills the whole flight.” He smiled, making a move to grab your bag for you. You attempted to stop him, but he gave you a look of warning. You rolled your eyes but let him take them, anyway. He nodded his head towards the door, signalling that he’d take you back to the hotel. You both left together, opting against any more shared words. He led you to a car, throwing the bags in the backseat before opening the door for you.

“Our rent-a-car for the next few days.” He said, cheerily. You had a hard time feeling so glum around him. He just produced an aura of peace without even trying. He always seemed to know how to cheer you up. You got in, immediately surrounded by the warmth of the interior. You relaxed into the leather seat, finding it much more comfortable than the airplane seats. He got in, too, starting the car with a push of a button. He pulled out of the parking lot, looking over at you through the corner of his eye. “How are you feeling?”

“Uh, nervous.” You chuckled. “Very nervous.”

“Don’t be. I promise you guys will cry for a little while and then it’ll be all sunshine and rainbows.” He smirked. You gave a small smile, unsure of how to answer. “If that’s what you want.” He interjected quickly. “If you want, you can punch him in the face.” He mimicked the action, making you laugh. “Just don’t bruise it too bad, he still has to get on stage tomorrow.”

“Can’t make any promises.” You joked. The drive was filled with silence until he pulled into the parking lot of the hotel. Your palms were sweaty, and you were scared you wouldn’t be able to force yourself to go inside. Josh parked the car, shutting off the engine and sat with you while you worked up the nerve to get out.

“You want me to bring your bags to my room just in case?” He asked. You nodded.

“That would be nice, yeah.” You choked out.

“I promise it’s gonna be okay. I’ll be right next door if anything happens. You know you have a bed to sleep in, if you want it.” He assured you. “Jakes going to be ecstatic to see you, if that’s what you’re worrying about. You could probably go up there and spit in his face and he’d say thank you.” You let out a small laugh. “Now come on, they’re no better time than now.” He reached over and pulled you into an awkward hug. You shifted, making it a little easier to return the gesture. You took a few more moments of self-reflection before letting out a long exhale and stepping outside.

Josh collected your things from the car, following behind you as you approached the building. You entered the main doors, admiring the lobby before being greeted by the worker at the front desk. You gave her a sheepish smile as Josh walked up beside you. He guided you to the elevator, ushering you inside and clicking the button for their floor.

The elevator ride seemed to be the longest one you’d ever endured. When the ding signified that the destination was reached, Josh practically had to coax you out with him. He brought you down to the end of the hallway, pointing to a door. Your eyes fell to where he was motioning. “This is it.” He whispered, giving you a reassuring pat on the back. “I’ll be right next door if you need me.”

“Okay,” you squeaked, never turning to look at him. Your eyes were glued to the door separating you and Jake.

“You’ve got this.” He assured you, keying into his hotel room. The door fell shut behind him with a dull thud, leaving you alone with your own thoughts. You wanted to run, to hide and pretend you’d never come in the first place. You were certain that if you did, you may never forgive yourself. If you ran away now and lost Jake forever, you would be miserable. You had to know for sure if you were ever going to move on.

So, you gathered up the nerve to knock. It was way more powerful than you intended. You thought that maybe you hyped yourself up a bit too much. “Fuck off,” a muffled voice sounded from the room. You rolled your eyes and knocked again. He didn’t answer, no sign of movement in the slightest. You sighed, hitting your knuckles against the door once more. Finally, you heard a slur of curse words and a few angry footsteps. When the door swung open, you could’ve fallen to your knees.

He was paler than usual, and his hair was a bit messy. He smelled like whiskey and he was wearing clothes that looked very well worn. But he was just as beautiful as you remembered, and his eyes were just as captivating.

“Hi, rockstar.” He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly shut it. He repeated the action a few times before he could produce a sound.

“Y/n,” he breathed, almost as if you were a figment of his imagination. “Can I… can I hug you?” He asked after a few moments of a staring contest. You gave a slight nod, holding your arms out. Without any hesitation, he bounced forward and wrapped himself around you, picking you up and holding you tightly. All of the emotion he’d been holding back was all coming out, now. His head was buried in your neck, breathing in the smell of your shampoo. When he set you back down, he took your face in his hands, studying your features like he had to get to know you all over again.

“I thought you… yeah.” He didn’t have to finish what he wanted to say, too scared for the answer. You shook your head.

“I was hoping that maybe we could talk,” you explained “I would really like to figure this out.”

“Yes, please. I’d like that, too.” He scrambled to the side, motioning for you to come inside. You did so, a bit of hesitancy in your step. When you were inside the room, he shut the door behind you, but didn’t approach. You stared at each other in silence, both unsure of how to begin to process the whole situation. “Did you wanna sit down, maybe?” He asked, finally stepping forward. You nodded your head, looking towards the bed. The blankets were a mess, there were clothes on the floor and a bottle of liquor on his bedside. When you approached the bed, you noticed his phone screen was on and open to your contact. You were certain he never closed it due to the amount of calls and texts you’d gotten from him.

You took a seat on the edge of the mattress while he made his way over. He picked up the mess of clothes and threw them in a neater pile by his bag at the end of the bed frame. He took a seat next to you, leaving enough space between you to make sure you were comfortable. “I’m sorry.” He spoke first. You shook your head, stopping him before he continued.

“I don’t want to hear any apologies.” You said, firmly. “To me, that only makes it seem like you have something to be guilty about.”

“Well, I do, but I don’t think it’s what you’ve been worried about.” He explained. “I didn’t think you were going to come.”

“Neither did I,” you gave a small chuckle. “Josh caught me in a particularly weak moment and I talked to him for a while. I think he helped put some things into perspective.”

“He’s got a way with words.” Jake reasoned.

“That he does.” You agreed. “I’ll decide if I hate him for it after we’re done talking.” He smiled at the joke. It was small, but even so, it looked so beautiful on his lips. Your chest ached at the sight, the melancholy finally setting in. “I want to say sorry, too, I think. I shouldn’t have just disappeared like that. It was pretty childish.” He gave a shrug, choosing not to input on the statement.

“Why didn’t you answer? Like at all. You could have told me to fuck off, and I would have been fine with it, but just… radio silence.” He mumbled.

“I was scared. Still am.” A small, humourless laugh fell from your lips. “I’m a runner. That’s what I do. I did it the night I met you, and I did it all week, and I think I still want to, now.”

“From what? I know I hurt you, and I can’t take that back, but you ran without an explanation.” You slowly nodded along to his words, your eyes falling to the floor, no longer able to look at his face.

“Yeah.” You replied. “Love terrifies me. I told you way back in the beginning that I wasn’t interested in any more relationships. The last one was really bad. I decided to give you a chance, but it wasn’t really my choice. I fell for you super fast, and then I saw… whatever that was, and I panicked. I tried to cut you out completely because I didn’t want to get hurt again. Turns out, it hurts either way, and there’s no way I could ever forget you.” You barely spoke the last part, afraid to say it out loud. “I think it was my cop out. I always look for an excuse to leave. I convince myself that running when things get tough is a way to save myself from getting hurt even more later on. Cut people out completely and act like it never happened. It’s a pretty vicious cycle.” His eyes were sad at your statement, feeling guilty for even making you think he would treat you like anyone before him.

“I promised I would never treat you like those other people did,” he reminded you “and I didn’t break it, either. Do you really think I’d do that to you?” His question was innocent, laced with curiosity, but you took the defence.

“I don’t know, Jake!” You blurted. “I feel like I know you pretty well, but I haven’t known you for that long. I don’t think you would, but I didn’t hear from you at all and suddenly the internet was buzzing about Jake Kiszka’s new girlfriend! I know I was a bit irrational, but all I could think was the worst! You’re the big rockstar, you travel the world and meet gorgeous women every day, ones that I could never compare to. I don’t know if you give the same story to a new girl in every city, and I feel so fucking stupid for thinking some insignificant girl in Baltimore could give you what you need. We dated for a month and I’ve only seen you three times! What kind of relationship is that?”

“Hold on,” he stopped you, moving closer. He grabbed your chin in his hand and guided you to look at him. “Your rockstar.” He whispered, eyes telling you more than his words ever could. “You’ve got it backwards. There’s no woman in the world that would ever compare to you. You had me wrapped around you finger the minute I met you. You’re the only girl in any city who’s ever gotten that story, and the only one who ever will. I’ve never felt this way about anybody, ever. You can’t be that blind to think you’re insignificant, y/n, especially to me. Even if I’ve only known you for a little while, you’ve become my whole world. Every word I’ve ever said to you, I meant it.” You felt the dreaded tears fill your eyes again, feeling stupid for a whole different reason. He wiped away a teardrop as it fell. “I don’t need to know you for a lifetime, or see you every day to know that I want you and I love you. You give me the world just by existing. I’ve known plenty of people, some for my whole life, but nobody knows me like you do. You listen to me talk about things nobody has ever cared to ask me about before, and you always seem overjoyed to hear it. It took me all of twenty minutes to fall for you at that bar, and I haven’t looked at anyone ever since, and I don’t plan on looking for anyone else ever again. If that’s what you’re scared of, you have nothing to worry about.” You couldn’t contain the waterfalls pouring down your cheeks. It was crazy how you’d only been with him for a few moments, but the week-long hurt suddenly seemed nonexistent. You hated to admit it, especially considering the fear of dependency, but a lot of what you needed to feel better was just simple reassurance. Reassurance that he loved you, and he wanted you, and not anyone else he was meeting along the way.

“Been waiting a while to say that?” You managed out through your cries. He laughed, admiring your ability to joke even if you were hurting. He wiped your cheeks again, looking over your face and finally feeling a shred of peace.

“Yeah, actually.” He chuckled. You reached out and ran your thumb over his cheek, allowing yourself to enjoy his presence. He leaned into the touch, showing you how much he missed it. “I’ll say it again if you want me to.” He assured you. Your thumb swooped down, outlining his jaw and then ran over his bottom lip. He pressed a kiss to it, making your heart flutter.

“That’s okay. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it, this time.” You breathed.

“As for the pictures, I can genuinely explain that, if you’ll let me.” You watched him carefully, scanning his face for a second.

“Okay,”

“By the time I woke up, I figured you were already working. I didn’t want to distract you from your very important and impressive internship.” He said, causing an eye roll from you.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Jacob.” You reminded. He chuckled.

“I know, but I like to flatter you, anyway.” He admitted. “I know when I was talking to you the day before, you were working, and I definitely stopped your productivity. I know you’d never admit it, but I’m a better distraction than I am a help.”

“You’ve never been a distraction, rockstar.” You told him the truth. Not once had you ever felt that way about him. He gave a shrug.

“I went to get coffee and to check out the town a bit, cause I had the whole day to kill before I could really talk to you. So I found a little shop, reminded me of the one we went to the first time I was in Maryland. Did you know coffee shops are the ultimate place to run into people?” He questioned. You didn’t answer, only waited for him to continue. “As I was leaving, someone called my name. Thought it was a fan, so I turned around expecting a picture and a quick conversation, but it was someone I hadn’t seen in a really long time. My sisters best friend from like, all of grade school. I’ve known her since she was like…” he visually measured the height with his hand, stopping it when it was a few feet above the floor. “That tall.” You felt your stomach sink. “She was always at our house. I haven’t seen her since my sister graduated. Turns out she lives in Atlanta now and has a kid.”

“Jake… I’m so sorry.” You said, feeling incredibly guilty now.

“No, don’t be. I lost track of time and didn’t realize my phone was on silent. We talked for hours, got lunch and she showed me around to her favourite spots in town. Didn’t realize what time it was until she had to pick her kid up from school.” He chuckled. “Also didn’t realize how many people were trying to get ahold of me. By that point, the internet had gotten hold of the pictures of us eating together and her wearing my jacket, and it was too late. But I promise you, that was all it was. I can show you pictures from when we were kids, too, just to show you I’m not lying. I looked for some to show you while I was waiting to hear back from you.”

“No, Jake. I believe you. I’m sorry.” He ran his hand through your hair, shaking his head slowly.

“You were right to be upset. A girl you’ve never heard of wearing my jacket and the internet saying we were dating. I completely get it. If it was the other way around and I saw pictures of you with another guy, I’d probably be pretty upset, too. But y/n, you have to know that I would never do that to you. You mean way too much to me for me to just throw it away like that.” He assured you. “I just wish we talked it out sooner. It has been a terrible fucking week without you.” He was putting it lightly, knowing the days prior were way worse than he was able to explain. “But, I know why, now. And I’m not mad at you, either. It was a shitty situation and we kind of lacked in the communication department. It doesn’t change how I feel about you, and I would still really like to be with you, if that’s what you want, too.” You didn’t respond immediately. Your silence caused anxiety to spike in Jake.

“Yeah, I do want that. I’m sorry I overreacted, and I’m sorry I ran. I thought it would be so easy to cut you off and never speak to you again, because that’s what I usually do, but you’re… different. All of the stuff that usually helps me forget just made me think about you more. I think I’m really in love with you, rockstar, and I don’t think I’ve ever actually been in love before. It’s hard for me to come to terms with, because I know you have the power to take the happiness away if you decide to.”

“That’s okay.” He said, relieved you felt the same way. “We can figure it out together. I feel the same way about you, y/n. You don’t have to worry about me taking anything away from you, because you have that power over me, too.”

“Okay,” you whispered. “I think that would be alright.”

“No more running, please. You’re allowed to leave whenever you want, just don’t disappear on me again. I know long distance can be really hard, but I’ve never wanted to make it work more than I do right now. I’m not going to force you to stay if you ever do choose to leave, but I don’t want to lose you over something small, or something that we can fix.”

“Okay.” You said again, more confident now. “I don’t know how to do this properly, or how to stop being afraid, but I’m willing to try it if it means I get to be loved by you.”

“That’s all I ever want to do, y/n.” He said, pulling you closer to him. He rested his forehead on yours, not wanting to push you too far. “I promised that when you graduated for good, I’d by you whatever house you wanted. I’m going to do whatever I can to make sure that happens.”

“Me, too, Jake.” You felt your bottom lip quiver. “What did you do to me?” You laughed as another wave of tears hit you. “Making me want to settle down and have a nice house and some kids? I’ve never wanted that before in my life.”

“Guess it’s just the Kiszka charm?” He couldn’t help but laugh, too. You both fell into a comfortable silence, just happy to be loving each other again. After a moment, he broke it. “I suppose I can add taming a spitfire to my resume, now, too.”

“Only if I get to brag about enchanting a rockstar.” You both dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“In a true witchy woman fashion.” He sighed, a smile prominent on his lips. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, Jake.” You were so happy to say it out loud again. He pulled you into a kiss, holding you there and savouring the feeling. He hesitated when he parted, not sure if he wanted the moment to end.

“You’re staying, right?” He asked hopefully.

“If you want me to.” You answered, mind still cloudy from the feeling of his lips on you.

“I’d never let you go home if I could get away with it.” He pulled back, settling into the bed a little more. He held his arms out to you, silently telling you to join him. You kicked your shoes off, climbing in next to him.

“This is home.” You whispered.

“A hotel in Atlanta?” He joked while he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him. You audibly sighed in relief, realizing the memory of him was nothing compared to the real thing.

“You.” You corrected, relaxing into the warmth of his body. He didn’t answer, only smiled, knowing he felt the exact same way.

TAGLIST: @gvfpal @jakesgrapejuice @hellowgoodbye @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @welllauragvf

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pinkydevil16 · 2 years

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Hi!! I'm a fan of yours and I will freaking miss your aemond story 💜 If it's ok with you I just want to ask, in part 11 u did an alternate version of reader seducing aegon to know what's happening in her family and aemond is not there to stop what happened. What do you think will be Aemond's reaction to what happened to aegon and the reader? What will aegon feel after the sex? Does he feel something for the reader after that? Or its just meaningless sex like with any other people? Will he brag about what happened to aemond? Thank u very much if you answer this but if you do not want to its very ok💞

i thought about this so much! Aegon does not tell Aemond! Purely so he can keep having Y/n, he's a jealous brat and will make snide comments around Aemond, when Y/n and Aemond do have sex he doesn't even notice she seems experienced, by now she's learnt to control men through their lust. She had both Aemond and Aegon on a god damn leash, she knows everything happening with her family. Aegon thinks he's in control, he thinks he has something over her but Y/n is smart. He thinks she has some devotion to him since she comes back, she fuels his ego saying he's better than Aemond. She makes the brothers pit against each other, telling Aemond he would be a better king, convincing him he should take the throne. THRONE SEX WITH BOTH OF THEM! But it's completely different, Aegon wants to feel like a king, he wants her to praise him and make him feel worthy. Aemond takes her like the king he is, he doesn't need to be told he's the best he knows he is.

I think Aemond would end up killing Aegon, i think Y/n would set it up, placing Aegon's hand on her throat as he lays her on her back on his desk. Setting it up so Aemond walks in, hearing him enter she probably starts crying and calling Aegon a monster. Aegon might plead for life, shouting the truth she has been fucking him for weeks, but Aemond won't believe him. She's curled up crying begging for him to help her, and his brother is trying to save his own skin. Aemond won't stand for his wife being hurt in such a way, and just like that he is the kinslayer, just not the one he should have been. I think Alicent would cover up Aegon's murder, putting Aemond on the throne to save her own life. And just like that Y/n is queen, she's manipulated her way to the throne. It's easier to take down a king when you're sleeping next to them.

I'm gonna do my taglist so anyone interested in my series can see this :) i am going to make a general taglist so let me know if you want adding and i'll tag you in any one shots etc i do for HOTD

Taglist:

@smileykiddie08

@hannaeditzs

@stuckinaf4nfiction

@verybluntstoner

@moonmaiden1996

@yumiassworld

@eonnyx

@whitejuliana1204

@missusnora

@applepyesworld

@mingiholic

@crownofdecit

@destroyingdestiny

@alexisabirdie

@dudfahsn

@littlebatsimagines

@bloode-money

@moonlight-and-stars

@xcharlottemikaelsonx

@onemillionpeopleinone

@random-human02

@hi-im-fan-trash

@meilikki

@sonnensplitter

@jugheadisaweirdo

@lomllino

@celibacy-or-death

@crazylokonugget

@natashaxhellenic

@here4thefanfic

@bubblebuttwade

@disturbing-love666

@sha-aesthic

@solace-inu

@rntrsna

@jeyramarie

@apollonshootafar

@holb32

@pancakefancake

@claudiajacobs

@maeverae006

@stargaryenx

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x reader #aemond one eye #aemond the kinslayer #prince aemond #aemond targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #aegon x reader #aegon targaryen x reader

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daddynegandesires · 3 years

Text

Secrets chapter 2

Summary: negans jealousy and temptation starts to escalate when he starts coming around trying to fit his way back into your life while also showing jack who the man of the house is but jack may also have secrets of his own no one knows about.

🛑Warning: fluff, major smut, saddness, jealousy, cheating,fighting 🛑

@jazzy1118

18+

Sitting on your bed with mascara tears streaming down your face holding onto old pictures of you,negan and ellie. Jack walks in and you quickly wipe your tears and shove the pictures under the pillow before he notices.

"Hey baby...whats wrong?" Jack slides in next to you

"Oh nothing haha" you sniffle and play it off all cool

"You looked beautiful lastnight...i realized i forgot to tell you" he said brushing a strand of hair behind your ear leaning in to kiss you softly. Jack resches inbetween your skirt automatically causing your legs to spread apart inviting him in. He reaches his other hand up your shirt grabbing your boob gently squeezing it in his hand you begin to quickly unbutton your blouse breathing heavier when the front door opens. You frantically pull your shirt back together terribly and tugging at your skirt when you exit the room to see negan and ellie standing in the living room.

" have you ever heard of calling or sending a text!!??" You cross your arms over your chest with a few buttons still loose allowing your black lace bra to peak out

"Well....looks like youve been busy" negan takes off his glasses sliding them ontop of his head

"I just thought id come by and cookout for ellie.." He grins pulling out steaks and ribs from a grocery bag.

"Oh! I brought wine too...your favorite"

"Cook out!?...wha" you followed behind him outside to the patio slamming the door behind you.

"So you think you can just walk into my house acting like you own the place saying you want to "cook out" for ellie!!??" By now you are almost inces away from him

Negan flicks on the grill and then grabs you gently by your face.

"I believe its my house too.....my name is also on the deed" he relases his hand and then walks past you back inside

You scoff to yourself as you stand there trying to process what is going on when jack comes outside.

"Im heading out for work...also whats up with him?"

"I..uh...he is cooking out for ellie i suppose" you said running your finger's through your messy hair

"I see.....well ill see you later, message me!" He gave you a quick peck on the cheek before hopping into his car and driving off. You sigh to yourself opening the door walking back into the kitchen seeing negan rubbing up the meat with spice's and ellie downing a bowl of chocolate ice cream.

"Negan! Seriously you gave her ice cream before dinner" you quickly took the spoon and bowl away from ellie before she could cram another spoonful in her mouth

"Whaaat let the kid live alittle...." He looks at ellie giving her a goofy face

You go over to dump out the ice cream in the trash can before dropping the dish in the sink next to negan you caught yourself looking at him his jacket was off and his sleeves were rolled up exposing his toned arms and rough hands. His black glasses resting on his face and his perfect salt and pepper hair. You always have had a thing for men a bit older than you and negan fit that image perfectly...jack was much younger than negan which you never would of guessed going for a younger man would be good for you.

"Mommy!!"

"Huh..yes honey?" Causing you to snap out of your thought's

"Can daddy stay the night we can stay up and was scawry moviessszz!!?" Ellies face lit up with excitment

"Oh. Sweetie im sorry but daddy cant stay the night" bending down to her level caressing her cheek

"Uuuuggghhhhh!! No fair!!" Ellie screams at the top of her lungs and starts flailing her arms

"Ellie! Do not act like that towards your mother!" Negans deep strong voice boomed in the kitchen almost making you weak at your knees. Ellie ran off to her room and slammed the door.

"That sassy girl" negan said looking at you through the top of his glasses

"Thank you...." You sighed exhaustedly while popping the cork off of the wine bottle and filling your cup up

"Mmmm...." Swallowing the sweet red wine feeling it flow down your throat

"So....you and younger guys huh?" Negan chuckled while washing his hands

"Something new...nothing wrong with that" you said taking another sip of your wine

"thought you had a fetish for older men....whats it called? Daddy issues"

"I guess you could say that...." Pouring more wine into your glass

"Sure sure..." Negans voice died out as he walked off to the bathroom

Negan came back into the kitchen grabbing the tray of meat outside and slapping it on the grill. You followed behind him wine glass in hand.

"So...was it you that told ellie to ask me if you could stay the night?" Raising an eyebrow

"Shouldnt you go get another glass of wine" negan chuckles

"Ya know...your cooking was always the best" chugging down the rest of your glass

" i think the wine is starting to talk haha" negan closed the lid to the grill folding his arms over his chest

---------

I was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen while ellie and negan were snuggled up on the couch watching friday the 13th together. Hearing negan be playful and caring with ellie really makes your heart happy. A part of you wishes things could have been diffrent between the two of you that is your babygirls father of course you love the both of them but being with negan just isnt in your future right now.

"Mommy come in here!"

You finished putting dishes away when you walked in there and sat down by negan he kept looking over at you grinning while ellie jumped at the scary scenes with jason Voorhees.

"So...hows the team going?"

"Good...good the boys are a handful" negan chuckled

"You were always a great coach you really pushed those boys to do great things" giving him A sweet smile

Talking about school with negan was always a touchy topic. He runs a basketball team at the local highschool......thats also where he was cheating on me with one of the english teachers.

"She is out like a light... My sweet girl." Negan was running his fingers through ellies long red hair when he looked over at you realizing you had fell asleep on his shoulder too. Negan picked up ellie and took her to her bed and tucked her in when he came back you were slightly awake.

"Thank you..." You said tiredly

"For what baby..." He said in a low deep voice

"For dinner and taking ellie to bed...its hard doing it alone sometimes..." You began to feel really vulnerable and kinda felt unsettling with negan calling you baby

"Jack should be home soon he gets off late.." You raised up off the couch

"You want me to leave...." Negan asked with puppy dog eyes

"Negan....you have to go im sorry"

"Baby....you know i never meant to hurt you" negan pulled you back down to sit on the couch

"But you did.....what were you thinking....you ruined everything" you were a bit tipsy from the wine and your emotions were just flowing out of you

"I love you negan! And you threw it all away for some fucking teacher at your school!!" You began shoving him

"All you care about is yourself you are so fucking full of yourself...you think you are so fucking amazing!" Now gripping onto his shirt hitting him in the chest he quickly pulled you into a tight hug and you began crying uncontrollably onto his shoulder soaking his tshirt.

"Shhh....im here now i promise you i will do anything..i want to be back in ellies life full time again i miss my girls" negan started to get all choked up holding back tears

"I...i cant right now negan its too soon im still hurting so bad.....im trying to move on from this" wiping the tears away from your eyes

"I understand.....im never going to let you down again all i want is for you and ellie to have a good life even if im not in it"

He stood up pulling you with him he took you to the bedroom and layed you down in bed taking your shoes off for you and tucking you in before jack got back.

"Goodnight" he kisses you on the forehead and leaves

---------

You woke up to ellie jumping and screaming on your bed you looked over to see jack sleeping next to you rubbing at his eyes.

"Good morning beautiful" he leans over and kisses you

"Goodmorning" you chuckled

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Ellie jumped onto you

"Hi sweetheart mommy sees you" you squeezed her tight in a hug before getting up out of bed

Jack had already gotten up and hopped into the shower when his phone began to ring on his bedside table you eagerly went over and looked at who it was. A girl named Melissa was calling him you just brushed it off and joined him in the shower.

"Hey...." Slipping off your panties and hopping into the shower with him

"Whoa...hey" jack said shocked

You grabbed him by the face and began kissing him hard feeling the hot water stream down your back. He moved his hand down between your legs taking one finger and slowly slipping it inside of you moaning out gripping onto his dick starting to slowly pump it back and forth feeling it grow long in your hand. Before you knew it he flipped you around ramming his cock into you pumping back and forth into your dripping wet pussy. His grip grew tighter on your hip as he started going faster and faster untill you felt an emptyness from him pulling out.

"Im hopping out im gonna let you finish up in here" he slapped your ass and then hopped out and closed the bathroom door behind him

"What a disappointment....." You whispered to yourself as you scrubbed shampoo through your hair knowing that negan would of never left you hanging like that and would of lasted way longer. Turning off the water you coulf faintly here jack laughing and talking to someone over the phone you quickly dried off and opened the bathroom door.

"Who are you speaking to?" You asked slipping on some clothes

"Ohh just a coworker nobody really" he said putting his phone into his pocket and sliding his tie on leaving the room

"Okay then....." You said to yourself

Slipping your shoes on you walked into the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee before jack headed off to work. Jack seemed super eager to leave for work today you just brushed it off assuming it was going to be a busy day for him at the office. He kissed you goodbye and took ellie with him to drop her off at daycare. It was just you alone in the house today which meant housework....gross.

You tied your hair up in a bun and began gathering your cleaning supplies you connected your phone to the bluetooth speaker blasting old rock songs. You were down on your hands and knees scrubbing at the floor in your short shorts when you were greeted by two feet infront of your face. You slowly looked up at who it was and it was negan with a huge dirty smirk on his face.

"This all for me doll?" He bit at his lip

"Oh....uh i planned on cleaning house today while everyone was out" you said shyly not realizing you were still on your knees

"I like you down there...on your knees" he slwoly chuckles

"Oh! Sorry....you cant just keep letting yourself in negan..." You quicly shot up to your feet

"You need me to help with anything?" He walks into the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee

"Ugh....The grass needs mowed......" You answered while wiping down the living room table

" jack doesnt mow grass?" Negan began laughing

"Negan...dont" standing there with your hands on your hips you sprayed him with the water bottle

"Hey!.....im just saying i figured young business boys couldnt mow grass anyway" negan walked outside and started up the pushmower.

An half and hour has passed and you finally finished the housework inside. You peaked out the window to see negan finishing up yard work...his shirt was off and he was all sweaty then jack suddenly pulls up causing you to stop gawking at negan.

"You always mow peoples grass" jack called out to negan getting out of the car

"Well, today i do. And maybe even next time...your girlfriend asked me to" negans jaw begins to flex

"Oh really...well" jack rubs at the back of his neck annoyed

"Dont think for a second that you have this all figured out......just setting some ground rules" Negan leans in towards jack and sternly says

Jack glared at negan as he walked past him to go insdie the house.

"Hi sweetie!" You greeted jack with a peck on his cheeck before stepping outside to speak with negan.

"I think you need to go...." You softly said to him trying not to stare at his sweaty toned bare chest

"Cmom doll.....things were getting fun. Jack is really starting to take a liking to me" he chuckles sliding his tongue across his bottom lip

"Negan....this isnt a game" you said picking up the gardening tools and taking them to the garage

"But i like games....and i always win" negan said in his cocky voice following behind you

You slammed down the shovel on the work bench in the garage before you knew it negan flipped you around lifted you up and and sat you ontop of the bench crashing his lips into yours he slid in between your legs grabbing a fist full of your hair yanking your head back as he began biting at your neck.

"Negan...." You moaned softly

"God i miss you moaing my name..."

"N....negan stop" it was so hard to resist him

"I want to have another kid with you....i want to fill myself insdie of you.....please baby" he tugged at your hair harder causing you to moan louder

The hairs on the back of your neck shot up after hearing what he had just said to you. You wrapped your legs tight around his waist and pulled him into you kissing him roughly biting and tugging at his bottom lip. You couldnt control yourself your body was weak negan always knew the right things to say. Negan took his two fingers pulling your yoga shorts aside to his surprise you weren't wearing any panties his finger began to play with your now swollen sensitive clit causing you to whimper out. He sucked on his finger making it wet before bringing it back to your clit gently flicking it faster and faster.

"Negan...im gon-

"(Y/n)...are you in here" jack called out from around the corner of the garage

"Oh shit!" You whispered to yourself before hopping off the work bench approaching jack

"Hey...im going to be going out of town on a business trip soon"

"Oh....well how soon?" You asked curiously

"Like...tonight soon" he quickly stated

"Oh...i see" your voice lowered

"I have to go baby i will keep in touch with you!" He kissed you before slow jogging to his car and leaving

A part of you didnt feel good about jack leaving for a "business trip" if thats really what it was.....something seemed off with him like he was hiding something. You stood from the garage watching him drive down the road untill you couldnt see his car anymore.

"Business trip huh....." Negan questioned walking up beside you

"Yeah...i suppose so" you said zoning out

Negan begins to chuckle and walk past you to his car.

"Wait were are you going!?" You yelled out to him

"Have to go pick up our daughter from daycare" negan calls out from the driver side

"Wait up im coming with you!" Jogging up to his black 1969 camero and hopping in the passenger seat

-------------

You,ellie and negan were back at the house when you were in the bedroom freshening up when you noticed jack had left his laptop on the dresser. Curiously you walked over and popped it open the screen automatically came on to his emails the very top email read from Melissa.

Hey jack we have that meeting tonight dont forget!😊 im also wearing that little tight dress you love.

You read the message over and over again the words ringing in your head making you feel sick to your stomach you slammed the laptop shut your body shaking full of rage and a adrenaline not knowing what to think or how to feel anymore. You just lay back on your bed zoning out up at the ceiling.

The door to the bedroom opens and its negan with a dirty smirk on his face looking at you layed out on the bed you just want to forget everything you want to feel numb you want to be made to feel dirty...

"Hey..." His deep tone giving you goosebumps

"Fuck me.....i want you to fuck me like the slut i am" you sternly said to him

Negan swiftly ripped his shirt off and yanked down your shorts spreading your legs apart bringing his tongue to your pussy licking your sweet folds brining his tongue down to your opening and all the way back up to your clit teasing you. You begin to grind up against his face while he pumps his cock hearing him moan only made you even more wet. He pulls his mouth away and flips you over slapping you on the ass hard the sting of it felt amazing he spanks you agains and a again before he enters his tip inside of you. Gripping onto the the bedsheets you have almost forgotten how big his cock is streching you open to fit perfectly insdie of you.

"Oh fuck.....god its so tight! You dirty fucking whore" he grunts slowly sliding more of his cock into you pulling your head back by your hair

"I miss you....i want you to fuck me hard..." You begin to rub your clit

Negan starts pumping his cock in and out of you his cock slowly swelling up inside of you and you squeeze down on him feeling all it all. He begins to move faster and faster leaning his face down to yours grabbing onto your throat squeezing it to let you feel that perfect high.

"Fuck...i...i cant keep going much longer" he starts fucking you faster and faster

"I want you to cum in me....please..i want your cum inside of me"! You beg

He lets out a load moan as he finishes inside of you and kisses you hard on the lips before pulling out letting his cum pour out of you all over the bedsheets. Negan pulls up his jeans as he hands you a towel to clean yourself up. You havent felt that amazing in awhile so relaxed and burnt off some built up rage

"All you have to do is ask and im here...." He whispers to you before leaving the room to go check on ellie. You get up from the bed to go take a shower.

"What am i doing......." You say to yourself

"Im so fucking stupid...." You begin to cry and sit with your knees pulled up to your chest in the tub feeling like a peice of shit after what you had just done. You are playing with negans emotions and stabbing jack in the back...what kind of girlfriend and mother am i.

#negan x you #jdm #twd #jeffrey dean morgan #negan fanfic #negan x reader

119 notes · View notes

messagestoateez · 3 years

Text

Packing

Paring: Seonghwa x reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: slight bit of angst. Pouty Seonghwa really.

Summary: You moved to Korea for college and met your boyfriend, Seonghwa, and his 7 crazy group members, but at the end of the year you have decided to leave and go back to your home country till the next year starts and you can see Seonghwa and your friends again.

A pout formed on his lips at the mention of packing things up. Granted you lived in a small one bedroom apartment rented from the college you went to, and you’d still be able to live in it when the new year started, but you wanted to pack things up and make sure when you came back you could start fresh and decorate your home different for a new atmosphere.

Seonghwa stood in the door frame of the bedroom you two had shared when he didn’t have a busy schedule and could come over, and when you didn’t have much homework from classes. The pout that had stayed on his face for what had seemed like weeks, was especially prominent today. He knew it was your last day in Korea till August and it pained him to let you go. Many hours away and many hours behind would kill him. He needed you to be with him physically, but he understood you miss your family and that you would be gone for only two months.

He sighed and you look over at him with a slight smile.

“My love, I won’t be gone long and we will text and call any chance we get.” You said, walking over to him and pacing your arms around his small waist, pressing your cheek to his chest, hearing his heartbeat speed up with the small act of love he received.

He looked at you and wrapped his arms around your smaller frame and nodded, replying with an almost inaudible “I know.” and then burying his nose in your hair, smelling the scent of strawberry and mint your shampoo and conditioner held. You two stood there for a while before you looked up at him and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, making him smile and a red hue appear on his cheeks.

“Come on lazy bones, we gotta finish packing. Mingi texted me and told me the rest of them would be over soon to help and are bringing food with them.” You said unwrapping yourself from Seonghwas touch and walking over to a half full box of miscellaneous items and moving it from your bed to the floor. Seonghwa walked over to you and helped you move things around and put things in boxes, when suddenly the bell rang.

“I’ll get it.” You said, standing up from your place on the floor, where you were sorting trash and important things into piles. You brushed off your hands, leaving Seonghwa in your almost empty room and getting the door.

You opened the door to 7 hyperactive boys who carried food and drinks, and were shouting your name, pushing past you to come in and hug you with all their strength.

“We come baring food and help.” Hongjoong explained, cringing when he heard one of the boys fall and something glass break.

San and Wooyoung walked in guiltily holding pieces of a broken vase.

“Dumbass here pushed me and I accidentally knocked your vase over.” Wooyoung explained, side-eyeing San, who had a given him the ‘I can’t believe you snitched on me look’.

You sighed and at the same time Seonghwa walked into the living room where you, San, Wooyoung, and Hongjoong were standing and his eyes widened.

“Is that what broke?” He asked.

“Yeah but that’s okay I planned on throwing it out anyways, I don’t use it and it’s just taking up space.” You replied, while taking the broken glass to the kitchen and throwing it away in a random trash bag.

“Hey I got the rest of the room packed, but I found some more papers and set them on the floor in the pile you were going through.” Seonghwa said when he saw you walk back into the living room.

“Okay thank you Hwa.” You offer him a small smile which he returned.

“Why so glum Seonghwa?” Wooyoung asked after seeing the small pout that had been on his face all day.

“Gee I dunno, may it’s the fact that his girlfriend is leaving for two months, genius.” San said in a duh tone, which earned him a slap on the back of the head from Wooyoung.

Yunho, Yeosang, Jongho, and Mingi all came into the living room from the kitchen, Mingi and Yeosang with chicken in their hands.

“Okay so where shall we start?” Yunho asked.

Seonghwa shrugged and looked around spotting unpacked belongings and boxes in a corner of the room.

“There?” He said, asking you more than directing the others.

“There,” You confirmed “but don’t break anything else boys. I’m keeping an eye on you.”

“Aye aye captain.” San and Wooyoung replied.

You and Seonghwa headed back to your room and you sat back down on the ground while Seonghwa started cleaning up and dusting.

Eventually the whole house was packed and cleaned, aside from a few blankets and pillows that were on your bed and couch, and the 9 of you were situated on your couch or on the floor eating and sharing stories for past time.

“We are gonna miss you.” Mingi had said which caused you to frown and pat his head. You two had to be the closest. You guys just seemed to have clicked when Seonghwa introduced you to the rest of the group. Ever since then you two have been best friends.

“I won’t be gone long. Keep Seonghwa company for me, yeah?” You said.

The boys just nodded in reply and went back to conversing.

Eventually it was time to say goodbye to the 7 boys, and the last people out were a sad Mingi being dragged out by melancholy Yunho.

You shut the door behind the two boys, locking it, and turning around to see a teary eyed Seonghwa, making your gaze soften.

You put a hand on his cheek, feeling him lean into the touch, which was enough to make the tears that had been building up over the past week or two, finally spill over.

You removed your hand and let him wrap his arms around you and bury his head in the crook of your neck, letting out silent sobs. You brought your hands up and ran your fingers through his hair, trying to soothe your crying boyfriend.

“Don’t want you to go.” He choked out. The sound of his trembling voice breaking your heart. You guys hadn’t had to be apart yet. You two met after he got off tour, at the cat café you work at. He had gone there often with the rest of his group members and the rest is history.

“Don’t worry bubs, I won’t gone long. It’s only 8 weeks, then I’ll be able to come back to you and see you again, I pinky promise.” You said holding out your pinky, he lifted his head up, the sight of his puffy eyes making your heart clench, and then hooked his pinky with yours. He then set his head back down onto the crook of your neck and enjoyed the feeling of you running your fingers through his brown hair.

“I’m gonna miss you.” He said, nuzzling your shoulder.

“Im gonna miss you too.” You said tearing up a little. To be honest before you met Seonghwa you were ecstatic about going home, but now? You wanted to be there with him, now more than ever. You’ve seen him cry, but being the part of the reason as to why he’s crying breaks your heart even more.

You two stayed like that till you both decided to get ready for bed, you still having to finish packing a carry on.

As you finished brushing your teeth and getting ready for bed, you exited the bathroom, Seonghwa going in behind you and getting himself ready for bed.

You got done with packing your bag, which consisted of your passport, wallet, portable charger, and a few other items, and set it on the floor by your dresser. Then you got your outfit for the next day ready, and headed over to your bed, plugging in your phone.

You got in bed and waited for Seonghwa to finish brushing his teeth, which happened a few moments later.

He crawled in next to you, and brought you to his chest, hugging you, entangling your limbs, and rubbing your back while you drew shapes on his t-shirt clad chest.

“Y/n could you sing for me?” He asked after a few minutes of silence. Even though he was much more talented than you could ever be in your opinion, he insisted that he was in love with your singing after the first time he heard your voice, while you were doing dishes.

“Mhm.” You hum out your answer and break free from his hold to put on some music, as a guide as to what you were singing.

Laying back down, you had reversed the sleeping position, with Seonghwas head on your chest and arms around your mid-section, while your legs were wrapped around his waist running your fingers through his hair again.

As the pianic intro started you prepared your voice to start singing.

Whether near or far

I am always yours

Any change in time

We are young again

Lay us down

We’re in love

Lay us down

We’re in love

Ahh Ahh

In these coming years

Many things will change

But the way I feel

Will the remain the same

Lay us down

We’re in love

Lay us down

We’re in love

Ahh Ahh

As the song had come to an end, Seonghwa’s breathing had evened out, soft snores leaving his mouth, and your eyes started to droop from exhaustion.

It may be 2 months till you would be able to see Seonghwa again, but no matter the distance your love would be okay.

You stopped your movements in Seonghwa’s hair and kissed his forehead, whispering something and closed your eyes.

“Goodnight my moon.”

183 notes · View notes

sarah-sandwich · 3 years

Note

"I need a hug" please and thank you!

Hi friend! Here it is! Remind me to never commit to a fic a day for an entire week again lmao

Happy last day of National Storyteller Week to everyone who creates or consumes stories! Jump over to my ao3 for 5 ridiculous parkner fics 👌✨💛

Peter, no

He probably should have clued in sooner, a lot sooner.

Him and Peter have been attached at the hip for three years, ever since Peter ran into the lab in the middle of a video call with Tony, shouted something about an arm-wrestling tournament with the Avengers, and begged, “You gotta come trash talk them for me! Please, Mr. Stark! No one roasts as good as you!” Then, after receiving Tony’s resigned agreement, exclaimed, “I’m gonna dislocate Captain America’s shoulder!” turned tail and sprinted back out, ignoring Tony’s, “Peter, no!”

It was over in under a minute but he was bewitched.

“Who was that? And why haven’t I met him?”

“I’ve been avoiding this day,” Tony said in a world-weary tone. “You’re either going to hate each other or get on like a house fire. Either way, I’ll never know peace again.”

In usual Tony Stark fashion, he was right.

He thought he’d seen every side of Peter there is. He’s seen him soft and sleepy under the blue glow of the television. He’s seen him wired and manic as he pursues a project on little to no sleep. He’s seen him broken and bleeding in more ways than he cares to count. He’s seen him laughing until he cries, crying so hard the only thing he can do is cry with him, too exhausted to feed himself, too angry to speak, and he’s been there when he’s on the cusp of dropping dead from embarrassment (usually pointing and laughing but hey, somebody’s gotta keep him humble).

He knows him like he knows his sister, like he knows his mom, like he knows himself.

His point is, it shouldn’t have taken this camping trip to put the pieces together. Realization shouldn’t have hit him like a log to the face when Peter rolled up the sleeves of his borrowed flannel and suddenly he couldn’t breathe for wanting to kiss him stupid.

Well, stupider.

A moment later, Peter picked up the bag of tent poles like they weighed nothing and somehow managed to dump them all over the side of the road like a can of pick-up-sticks.

It’s gonna be a long weekend.

~*~

“What’s this thing for again?” Peter asks, raising his arms high over his head to hold up the long swath of fabric two times his height.

“It’s a rain fly, Peter. It keeps out the rain.”

“It’s not supposed to rain. Trust me, Aunt May checked the weather like 50 times before she would let me leave.”

“We still need it.”

“But why? We could sleep under the stars.”

“It traps in heat.”

“Sounds like another tally in the cons column. It’s hot as fuck, dude.”

“Not tonight it won’t be. Temperature fluctuates a lot in the mountains, especially when the sun goes down.”

“Temperature fluctuates in the mountains,” Peter repeats mockingly.

Harley stops what he’s doing. “If you really wanna sleep under the stars I don’t have to share my tent. Enjoy the skeeters.”

“You love me too much to leave me to sleep with the wildlife,” Peter says, voice muffled from under the rain fly as he attempts to drape it over the erected tent.

His heart skips. Does he know? Has he been that obvious even while oblivious to his own feelings? Did Peter figure it out before he did? Has he been graciously not saying anything about his huge undeniable crush while—

Peter squawks and tumbles forward, the tent collapsing under him with a snap that echoes through the trees. The rain fly flutters over him like a burial shroud.

“Please tell me whatever just broke was a part of you.”

“Uhh, sorry.”

He sighs. He’s in love with an idiot.

~*~

The tent leans a little to the left when they’re done with it but he’s pretty sure it’ll hold up through the night. Just in case, they limit how often they go in and out of it (which, in his opinion, is the way it should be done regardless).

A breeze rustles the trees, scattering pine needles as birds chitter and small unseen wildlife scurries around the underbrush. He breathes in deep, savoring the scent of dirt, pine, and fresh air. He’s been in the city far too long.

Peter stands with his hands on his hips, dirt crusted on the knees of his jeans, his borrowed flannel pulling tight across his chest as he watches a puffy white cloud scoot by with a befuddled expression.

He turns to Harley. “So umm, now what?”

He shrugs. “Whatever you want. You’re the one who’s never done this before?”

Peter stares at him blankly.

“Right. Forgot who I was talking to.” He shakes his head and walks over to the car with a sigh. “This way, city boy. It’s time you learned to fish.”

“Sounds smelly.”

“Mmm.” He pops the trunk and pulls out two fishing rods—one old and dinged up, the other brand-spankin-new—and he passes them to Peter so he can grab the tackle box and a white plastic bucket with a lid on it.

“And slimy,” Peter continues, wrinkling his nose at the bold ‘WORMS’ printed on the side of the white bucket.

“That it is, but there aren’t any rats and no one has pissed on the place you need to sit so it’s automatically better than anything the city has to offer.”

“We’ll see about that,” Peter grumbles.

~*~

“Y’know,” Harley drawls lazily, eyes half-lidded as he watches Peter jump from rock to rock along the shoreline, “usually when people are lookin’ to catch a fish they cast their line into the water rather than leavin’ it on the ground.”

“Oh is that how it’s done? I had no idea,” Peter says, stooping down to peer into a small pool sequestered away from the rest of the body of water. “What do tadpoles look like?”

“Uh, little squirmy guys.”

“Very descriptive, thank you.”

“Mhmm. Anytime, darlin’.”

Peter looks up at him, eyes narrowed and he jolts under the sudden scrutiny.

“What?” he asks. He always calls him darling. It’s just a thing he says—a southern thing. So what if over the years he’s stopped using the name for anyone else? It doesn’t mean anything. It’s not weird.

“Are you falling asleep?” Peter asks.

“Pfft, no,” he says. The sun is deliciously warm, seeping into his skin and turning his bones to butter as the katydids buzz and birds sing. A warm breeze ruffs his hair and he finds himself blinking slowly.

“Dude, you’re totally falling asleep.” Peter grins playfully and hopscotches across the rocks back to him as he teases, “You know, usually when someone wants to catch a fish, they do it while they’re awake.”

“I am awake, dummy.”

“Not for much longer.” He comes to a stop at his side and tweaks the brim of his hat. “Look at you. You’re like an old man falling asleep in his recliner in front of the big game.”

“Napping is a perfectly respectable part of fishing,” he argues.

Peter throws back his head and laughs. Backed by blue sky and thickly forested mountain, sunlit from above, he’s never looked better.

Should he tell him? Is now the time? He can’t imagine living like this—knowing how he feels but bottling it up and keeping it a secret from his best friend.

Then again—

His fishing rod dips and he sits up with a start, hands already moving for the reel.

“Woah, is that a fish?” Peter exclaims, peering into the lake.

“Sure hope so. Can’t imagine what else it’d—,”

“Can I pull it in?” Peter asks, bouncing on the balls of his feet like an excitable puppy.

“No, you if wanna get a fish you have to put in the work.”

“What work? Laying around half-asleep?”

“Yeah, exactly. I’ll let you take it off the line, how ‘bout that?”

“Eh, that’s okay. I’m good.”

He wrestles the fish out of the lake, a bass about two hands long, and then holds the flopping fish, hooked through the lip, out to Peter.

“There you go. Just pop that puppy off the hook and toss ‘im back in.”

“Wait, you don’t even keep the fish?”

“What would I do with a fish?”

“…eat it?”

“That’s a whole song and dance I ain’t got the tools or the patience for. Just grab the fish, Pete. Preferably before it suffocates.”

Peter makes an unhappy sound in his throat but reaches for the fish. Just as his fingers brush the scales, the fish gives a mighty wiggle and Peter flinches back towards the lake.

“Eep!” Peter squeaks and goes into the water with a splash.

Harley hunches over, laughing his head off as Peter sits up, water streaming down his face and dripping from his hair.

“I hate you.” Slipping and sliding in the muck, he makes his way through the mid-thigh deep water, back to dry land, and then keeps walking past Harley and up the hill to the trail that will lead him back to camp.

All the while Harley laughs and laughs, taking a moment to free the fish back into the lake before he sits down and tips his face to the sun, chuckling and committing to memory the way Peter’s soaked jeans and flannel clung all over his body.

~*~

“I still don’t see why—,”

“Shush,” Peter snaps, frowning in concentration over the tiny flame he’s been babying to life for the past fifteen minutes.

He sighs. He tried to convince him to wait until supper for a campfire meal but Mr. Eager Beaver insisted on trying his hand at it now. Had they made sandwiches they’d be done by now and could be hiking. But no. Peter wants to play Boy Scout so they’re going to sit here and starve until he gets a fire built just to spend five minutes roasting hot dogs and then have to put it out again.

To make matters worse, Peter’s no longer wearing his shirt since it got soaked in the lake. He’d gotten attached to how he looks in his clothes. Now he’s wearing on one of his standard nerd-pun tees and a wrinkly pair of khaki cargo shorts and he’s going to have to convince him to at least put on long socks before they hike or he’s going to risk getting poison ivy or poison oak all over his calves and ankles.

“There it goes! There it goes!” Peter exclaims, sitting up tall and motioning at him to look at the little flame as it eats up the pile of twigs and tinder.

“Very good, dear,” he says dryly. “Now see if you can keep it going with some real wood.”

Peter cocks his head at him. “Was that a double-entendre?”

“Why on earth would I imply that we should put a part of my human anatomy in the fire, Peter?”

“I don’t know,” he murmurs, squatting beside the fire as he breaks up a stick. “Dick jokes are funny.”

“You’re a child.”

“And yet you— Shit!” He flinches back from the fire and falls on his backside.

He comes alert with a spike of adrenaline, rushing forward to— to— pat out flames with his bare hands? He doesn’t know. “What happened?” he demands, checking Peter over for damage and finding nothing, not a burn or singe in sight.

Still sprawled on the ground, Peter looks up at him through his eyelashes with an embarrassed grimace. “I don’t want to say.”

“But you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” he sits up cross-legged and rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

He stares down at him as he looks down in his lap. “You’re really not going to tell me what just happened? I already saw you fall in a lake because you were scared of a fish. It can’t be worse than that.”

Peter looks up, neck crimped and mouth screwed into an unhappy pucker. “I thought something was on me but it was just the grass.”

Harley stares. “So, you thought a bug was on you.”

“Yeah. I’m starting to think I’m not cut out for this place.”

What has he gotten himself into?

~*~

Peter hasn’t stopped chattering about everything under the sun since they left camp. And considering where they are, there’s a lot to chatter about. From bugs to birds to types of trees and identifying clouds, he’s heard it all. It’s why he’s not paying attention to the path like he should, too busy watching the way Peter waves his hands animatedly as he rambles, the way the sun lights his eyes and makes his hair shine, the way his lips shape the words.

He hasn’t taken in a word he’s said for the past twenty minutes but he’s watched him with rapt attention while his mind churns through his options. He’s not one to ignore something once he knows about it. He doesn’t want to keep this a secret. There’s no reason to. It’s nothing shameful and if Peter doesn’t reciprocate then… well, nothing changes, right? He’s fine with that. Best friends is still good. Great, even.

But if Peter does reciprocate…

His breathing quickens at the thought. How did he not notice this ridiculous crush sooner? It’s like something has been awakened inside him and now it refuses to shut up and go back to sleep. He gravitates towards Peter like an orbiting moon. He’s a moth to Peter’s beam of light. Helpless under the thrall.

Peter suddenly looks right at him. “—you know what I mean?”

“Huh?” His foot lands wrong and rolls over a root. His ankle screams out and then he’s dropping as it gives out.

“Woah!” Peter catches him, one arm around his back and the other fisted into his shirt at his shoulder. His brain goes offline, only processing the way Peter is pressed against him, the way his face is angled over him like he’s on the verge of dipping him into a kiss, the way neither of them moves or speaks, staring instead with startled realization.

He thinks he imagines it when Peter’s eyes dilate but then they fix on his lips and there’s no way he’s imagining that.

Lights flash in his head and he forgets to breathe as they hang suspended in time.

Then Peter bites his lip and his cheeks flush dark pink as he yanks Harley upright.

He stumbles, unprepared, and his ankle gives out a second time.

Peter catches him by the elbows babbling, “Oh my God, I’m sorry! Are you okay? I didn’t mean to—,”

“I’m fine. I…” The rest of the sentence vanishes from his tongue as he looks into Peter’s eyes. He loves his eyes—warm and affectionate, they always give him away. Whether they’re bright with curiosity, sparkling with delight, wide with embarrassment, or narrowed in anger, he’s an open book. That’s why the look in his eyes now gives him pause. He’s never seen it before—or maybe it’s been there all along but he hasn’t noticed until now.

They’re dark and focused like he’s seeing through him into his soul and likes what he sees so much he wants to eat him alive.

His heart thunders as he lifts a hand to Peter’s cheek. This is it. This is the moment he tells him and finds out where they’re going to go next.

Peter’s eyes go wide and he swallows thickly, but then his gaze shifts beyond him and he freezes except to carefully grab his forearm in a too-tight grip.

“Bear,” Peter breathes.

His awareness of their surrounding returns so suddenly it hurts. Birds sing, bugs buzz and chirp, somewhere nearby a creek burbles, and behind him on the path, something scuffs the ground and then snorts and sniffs harshly.

“No,” he says quietly. No, he refuses to allow this to be his reality. This cannot be happening. He won’t allow this to happen.

“Harley, bear,” Peter repeats, grip tightening.

Oh my God, this is happening.

“Don’t run,” he says in an undertone. “You’re not supposed to run.”

“We gotta run.”

“Peter, no.”

“Harley, there’s a fucking bear.”

��Listen to me—,”

“I’m gonna grab you—,”

“—we gotta stay still and—,”

“I’ll carry you and—,”

“—non-threatening so—,”

“I’m going to get you up a tree and then—,”

“—it won’t chase us.”

“—the bear will chase me.”

“Peter—,”

“It’ll be fine.”

“—no.”

~*~

He waits in the tree for over an hour, ankle throbbing, sick to his stomach with worry, wondering if he’ll ever see the idiot he stupidly fell in love with ever again. Even if he didn’t get eaten by the bear, he’s no good out here in the woods. He could be lost. He could be too hurt to move. He could be—

—covered in what smells like animal shit and standing balefully at the base of the tree.

“I need a hug,” Peter says, voice small.

“Did you—,”

“I did what needed to be done.”

“So that’s—,”

“Don’t say it. Do you need help getting down?”

“I’ll figure it out. Don’t touch me.”

“That’s fair. I’ll be in the lake. Will you bring me all of the soap and soap-like products we own?”

“Yeah. Gimme a minute.”

“Thanks, Harley.”

“Peter?”

“Yeah?”

I love you. I’m glad you’re not dead. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t come back. My life wouldn’t be the same without you in it. You’re everything I want.

“You’re an idiot,” he says.

Peter nods. “Yeah.”

~*~

“Black bears can run 35 miles per hour,” he says conversationally. They’re sprawled on a blanket while the fire crackles nearby (but not too close, they’ve had enough disasters for one day). His foot is propped on the tackle box, elevating his ankle and Peter is beside him, flat on his back staring up at the stars through the trees, close enough that their arms brush.

“Trust me, I know.”

“They can also climb trees,” he continues reading from his phone. “You should never climb a tree to avoid a bear.”

“Harley—,”

“If a bear notices you, stay calm. Most bears don’t want to attack you.”

“Dude, I get it.”

“Move away slowly and sideways. Do not run. Do not climb a tree.”

Peter snatches the phone out of his hands and sits up. “I panicked, okay? I can’t lose you! I had to get you out of there.”

He goes still, the crackling of the fire and the crickets the only sound in the night.

“Say again?”

“Don’t,” Peter says harshly, still holding his phone far out of reach. “Don’t make fun of me about this one. You don’t get it, okay?”

This isn’t how he expected this to happen. Hyper aware of his heart beating in his chest, he asks, “What don’t I get?”

“I was terrified.”

“And you think I wasn’t?”

“Not in the way I was. I was— It was like— It was like if anything happened to you, nothing would be okay ever again. I don’t—,” He pulls in a deep breath, chest heaving as his eyes shine uncommonly bright in the firelight. “I don’t know. You’re— Ever since we met things have just felt right and good in a way they hadn’t before and I’ve already lost so many people and then you were in danger and I couldn’t do nothing. I couldn’t.”

“Okay,” he says gently, sitting upright and scooting over on the blanket. “Okay.” He takes the phone and sets it aside then takes Peter’s hand in both of his. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m okay.”

“I think I’m in love with you,” Peter says miserably, sniffing and wiping his eyes with the back of his free hand. “I think I have been for a long time.”

“Well, that’s lucky because I think I’m in love with you too.”

“You— What?”

“Mhmm. Since at least this morning.”

Peter stares at him. His lips twitch. “This morning? For real? Are you teasing me?”

“A hundred percent serious. It hit me right before you dumped my tent poles all over 36th street. Unrelated, you should wear my clothes more often.” He pauses and then says, “I think today was the universe asking me if I was sure I wanted to be tied down to your dumb ass for the rest of forever.”

“And?” Peter asks, eyes wide in the firelight.

“Yeah,” he says, smoothing a curl away from his forehead. “I’m sure.”

Peter leans in and kisses him, soft and quick. “Is that okay?”

Heart in his mouth, he says, “I think you can do better.”

Peter laughs and smooths his thumb over his cheekbone. “I love you.”

“I love you too, darlin’.”

#writing prompt #peter city boy parker goes camping with harley country boy keener #shenanigans ensue #mutual pining #heh heh geddit?#they're camping in the forest with the pines #but also the regular kind of pining #friends to lovers #parkner #parley #peter parker/harley keener #peter parker #harley keener #playboyphilanthro-pissed

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missdawnandherdusk · 3 years

Text

Night Moves

Draco X Reader (college!AU)

Summary: Healing was a long process, and Draco was there to wait for you.

A/n: Do I know what this is? No, not really. It’s cute and fluffy and a warm up as I get into the habit of writing again now that the semester has been winding down. Let me know if you want more modern college stuff, because I don’t mind it one bit. I love y’all, and as always, I want to know what you think.

I paused, a call coming in from a familiar name. I answered it, pausing my work.

“Are you in bed?” His voice sounded almost excited.

“Uh... no?” I raised an eyebrow that he couldn’t see. “Just working on some stuff for class,”

“So... you haven’t showered or anything?” He pressed.

“No,” I almost laughed, leaning back in my desk chair. “I’m still presentable if that’s your question.”

“It is,” He sounded delighted. “I’ll be outside in twenty minutes.”

“For what?” I pressed on, closing my laptop. “Draco, why am I being kidnapped tonight?”

“Does it matter?” He countered and I could hear the engine of his car thrum. “Twenty minutes.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I chuckled. “I’ll see you then.”

Smiling, I stood from my desk, stretching. Checking the mirror to make sure that I was presentable, I concluded I would be good enough for me. Probably not Draco, but that could be his problem. Humming and straightening up around my room for the night, knowing that I wouldn’t be back until late, I leaned against my desk waiting for his call to let me know he was outside my building.

The call came and I grabbed a sweater and headed downstairs, breaking out into the crisp air of the night. He was there, of course, looking pristine as ever, leaning against his shiny sleek black car. The smile on his face was more valuable than his sports car and immaculate outfit, however. It had been a while since I had seen him smile like that.

“You’re unusually chipper,” I noted.

“My classes were canceled for tomorrow and thought you might like a break from your essays and projects,” He raised an eyebrow, opening the car door for me before rounding the car to get in himself.

“You’d be right,” I smiled, taking his passenger seat.

Stopping at a local sweet shop and picking up more than enough for the two of us, we drove the city streets, alive with night life, laughing at the ridiculousness of the outing. Pulling up to his apartment building, we crashed on his couch, on a sugar and freedom high.

Settling on the next show on our list of things to watch together, we found blankets, tea, and comfort in the soft lighting of the tv. I glimpsed over at Draco as one episode shifted to another, and in the blue light he seemed almost at peace. Like there was no weight on his shoulders anymore.

“You’re staring,” He raised an eyebrow, glancing over at me.

“Well, you’re so gosh darn pretty,” I taunted, rolling my eyes, and looking away. “Am I not allowed to look at you then?” My tone remained in jest.

“I suppose I’ll allow it,” He grinned.

“Thank you so much,” My face fell flat at his antics.

The hour grew later and our sugar high waned until my eyes had a hard time staying open all the way and I was slumped against Draco, who wasn’t faring much better than I was. My hand absentmindedly played with his, tracing random patterns on his warm skin and fidgeting with his rings.

His hand pulled from my, drawing my attention to his face, which was now closer than I had originally thought. I wasn’t afraid though. It was Draco. I trusted him more than most.

In the fog of the sugar crash, the blue light, and the late hour, a softness fell between us. Comfortable and safe. Vulnerable.

My eyes finally slipped closed as he drew nearer. But I paused.

Looking down, I pulled back fractionally. He let out the breath he was holding and backed away as well.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, hopeless. “I...”

“No, I’m sorry,” his voice was soft and gentle.

“God no don’t apologize,” I almost laughed, my hands resting on his chest. “It’s not you. It’s me. I...”

“It’s him,” he answered softly. We had been friends long enough for Draco to know the pain that my past love had caused to me heart and the tears that came of it.

“Yeah,” I let out a defeated sigh. “I’m... I’m really sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize either,” he tilted my chin up so that I would meet his eyes. “What he did... whatever he did... that’s not your fault.”

“But,”

“No,” he stopped me gently.

I sat up, pulling away from him and hugged my knees. “It’s so stupid,”

“It’s not stupid.” He replied softly, tucking my hair behind my ear.

“I’m... I’m just so scared,” I confessed to the soft blankets around us. “And it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” I could hear the smile in his voice as his arm pulled me close to him. “Smartest girl there is. Knows Latin for crying out loud and here she is calling herself stupid,” Tucking me into his arms, I uncurled a bit.

“I am stupid. I was stupid I... I don’t want to screw up like that again,” Tears picked my eyes. “I don’t want to go through that again.”

“Hey,” he called softly, causing my to look up at him. “Just because he screwed up doesn’t mean you have to for the rest of your life,” a smile drew on my face. “And not that I don’t value your affection but, it’s just a kiss sweetheart. It’s not heartbreak and tears. It’s not forever. It’s just tonight.”

I nodded and wiped away my tears, resting my head on his shoulder, finding comfort in his words. He rubbed my arm softly, holding me in the quiet of the night. Quietly he pressed his lips to the crown of my head and inhaled deeply.

“Thank you, Draco,” I whispered, silent tears falling. “I know it’s not fair to you,”

“I wouldn’t say that,” He refuted. “I know you need time. I’m here to wait,”

A smile played at my lips. “You... you don’t mind? I... I know it’s a lot.”

“Even if were nothing more than friends, it’s enough for me Y/n,” He smiled down at me. “If I get to watch you rise from the ashes and become a new healed person, that’s more than I could ever ask for,”

“You really are something else Draco, you know that?” I looked up at him, laying my head on his shoulder. A deep breath. “And if you’re willing to wait, I’d love to wait with you,” A deeper thought. “Just let me make it through a year... let me try a year without him...”

“But not alone,” Draco assured, tightening his grip on me. “Let’s get you home though,”

“Is it that awkward?” I dismayed.

“No,” He laughed, and I could feel it shake through him. “But it is nearly two in the morning and I do believe you have class in the morning?”

“Are you gonna be okay driving?” I asked with genuine concern.

“Give me a little credit Y/n,” He rolled his eyes, taking the both of us to our feet. “We’ll be fine,”

“Okay...” I was still skeptical.

“You’re quiet,” He noted as we drove through the sleeping city.

“Thinking,” I replied, tearing my gaze from the twinkling lights and to him. “I... I didn’t... I haven’t been leading you on have I? Because I never meant to,”

There must have been something in my tone or in the worry on my face that made him laugh.

“No,” He clarified. “Though it would be hard for anyone near you not to fall for you in some way,”

I offered a small smile. It faded as my depressing thoughts came back.

“I’m sorry, was that too much?” He consoled softly, his voice barely audible above the hum of the car.

“I... No, I don’t think so,” I decided. “I don’t know,” I sighed, wrapping my arms around myself. “You... you know... I... I’m okay...”

“You’re okay in the moment, but afterward, when you’re alone is when it starts to hurt again,” Somehow, he always had the words that I could never find. I hummed an acknowledgement. “Just...” Now it seemed that he was at a loss for words. “Don’t stop telling me what hurts, even if it’s something I do,”

Nodding, I gave a smile.

“Thanks, Draco,”

masterlist

more like this:

london boy

love story

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barnesandrogersfanfics · 3 years

Text

Baby Love - Part 10

A/N - Finally an update!! 💕

chrisevans I'm so excited to announce that Y/N and I are expecting!! We are both over the moon.... i cannot even put into words how happy i am right now.

Mama and baby are both doing great and Dodger is thrilled that he's about to become a big brother.

#BabygirlEvansComingSoon

It was a few weeks after the premiere, middle of May, my 5th month in my pregnancy that Chris finally put out the announcement and surprisingly it went well....better than i could ever have imagined. The messages from Chris's fans were amazing! Of course there was still some haters but nothing that was too awful or couldn't be ignored. It was nice that it was out now and i didn't have to worry about someone finding out and leaking it to the press.

Chris was scheduled to start filming 'Defending Jacob' a series for Apple TV mid June through to July. The good thing being it was filming in Massachusetts, 20 minutes from home so he wouldn't have to stay away.

Chris was finally upstairs getting ready so he could head to set, he had been whining this morning about wanting to stay home with his girls.

I was currently laying on the sofa in a sports bra and shorts, with my now 6 month belly showing while i watched some crappy daytime show.... i had removed Chris's t-shirt when i started getting hot flushes.

"Okay im ready to.....go. Jesus christ why are you half naked right now?" I looked round to see Chris looking me up and down like i was the tastiest thing he'd ever seen. I rolled my eyes looking back at the TV "hot flushes, i sweat through my shirt...i feel like I'm burning alive"

"Such a drama queen" he chuckled

"Excuse you?..... you wanna try going through this??" I snapped, i knew as soon as it was out of my mouth it was uncalled for and instantly felt bad "I'm sorry i didn't mean to snap.... is the damn AC even working?" i said almost feeling like i was gonna cry. Chris came walking over crouching in front of me with a cold cloth and draped it across my forehead.

"That should help a little and i got you some ice..." he passed me a cup of ice chips and i cried.

"Hey! Whats wrong?"

"You're just the best boyfriend ever"

"Awww" he chuckled pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Don't.... I'm all sweaty and gross"

"I like you all sweaty" he wriggled his eyebrows making me laugh "and you're not gross..... you're beautiful. I nearly had a heart attack seeing you laying here looking like this.... now i really don't wanna leave"

"You have to, stop making excuses"

"I dont want to leave you alone like this..."

"I wont be, Scott's coming over we're gonna go for lunch later"

"Oh.... "

"You're okay with that right?"

"Yeah of course" he smiled before leaning in to give me a kiss.

"Hey! its just me!" Scott yelled from the front door on cue.

"In here!" I yelled reaching my hands out to Chris to help me up into a sitting position.

"Yikes! what is going on with you you're a mess" Scott said looking concerned.

"Thanks! Thats just what i needed to hear Scotty" i scooped out an ice chip and popped it in my mouth.

"Hot flushes" Chris told Scott and he pulled a face.

"I'll be okay in a minute, it'll pass. Though im pretty tempted to go jump in the damn pool right about now"

"Stay outta the pool sweetheart, maybe a lukewarm bath or shower would help?"

"I'll be fine Chris, you need to go or you're gonna be late"

"I don't wanna leave you alone...."

"Err hello? Im here, she's not alone" Scott said coming to sit next to me on the sofa.

"Can you put your shirt back on.....i don't feel comfortable...." Chris started to say while looking me over again.

"Stop! I am not putting that thing back on when i feel like I'm in the pits of hell Evans!" I said pointing at the soaking wet t-shirt on the table " besides Scott's seen me in my bathing suit plenty of times.... I'm wearing more now than i was then! also incase you forgot.... I'm not his type"

"I feel insulted!" Scott gasped before smiling at his brother.

"Just go to work! I will call you if i need anything, we'll be fine".

Chris sighed but nodded, he leant in and gave me a kiss and finally left for set.

"Geez he always like that?"

"No, he's got a little more protective as the pregnancy has gone on but that was new"

"He's probably just worried about you. This is the first time he's had to really leave you since you've been pregnant"

"He'll be back tonight! He needs to chill out. I know i sound like a bitch and i really don't mean to but i literally feel like Satan himself is roasting my body!"

"You want some more ice chips?"

"Yes please".

After another 30/40 minutes i finally felt myself cooling down.

"Oh thank god! I think it passed"

"For now"

"Thanks!" I laughed "I've had a few hot flushes here and there but nothing like that... that was brutal!"

"Well I'm glad it passed, why don't you go take a shower and we'll go get some lunch, it will do you good to get some fresh air, we can even take Dodger"

"Sounds good to me".

Scott and i grabbed lunch at a small family run cafe that was kinda tucked away, not a lot of people actually knew about it which was the reason we chose this place when we'd have lunch....it also had a small outside seating area where we could sit with Dodger.

Once we were done with lunch we took Dodger for a walk in the park where he found a new friend, they ran around together for a good half an hour.

"Wow he's gonna be beat" Scott laughed as we sat on a bench watching the two dogs running around.

"Good! He has too much energy!"

I chuckled "i'll be wanting to sleep and he brings me his toys wanting to play its exhausting" i said exaggerating, truth was i loved that Dodger always wanted my attention.

"Well he's gonna have to learn to share you when my niece arrives"

"Do you think he'll be okay with the baby?"

"Im sure he will, Dodge is a good boy"

"The best, i just worry. I worry about everything lately though" i laugh rubbing my hand over my belly "you ready to head back?"

"Sure"

I whistle and call for Dodger and he comes running straight over allowing me to attach he's leash.

"Lets go home bubba" i scratched behind his ear before handing the leash to Scott.

We got back to the house and let Dodger out of the car, he ran straight towards the front door and started growling and scratching at the door.

"Hey stop!" Scott said quickly and Dodger turned to look at him before starting again this time barking loudly.

"Whats his problem?"

"I don't know....."

"Maybe Chris is home?"

"His car isn't here....." i opened the door and Dodger ran inside sniffing everywhere.

"Hey Chris you home?" Scott called out but i already knew he wasn't, this didn't feel right.....

"Scott, somethings wrong....."

"What do you mean?" He asked turning to me looking concerned.

"I don't know its just a feeling i have"

Dodger suddenly ran past us and up the stairs, we followed him up to find him sitting outside mine and Chris's bedroom scratching at the door.

"Chris....." Scott called again thinking Dodger just wanted to get to him but no answer, the house was silent.

Scott stepped forward and opened the door and we both gasped at the what we saw. The whole room was trashed.

"Scott..... what if someones still in the house?" I turned to him with wide eyes as panic set it.

"Stay in here with Dodger, I'm gonna check the house..."

"No! Just call the cops, stay in here with us!"

"I'll be fine! They're probably long gone, Dodger would be going crazy if they were still here...but i just wanna make sure".

"Please be careful! I'll call the cops"

"Okay lock the door behind me".

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes @bellamy-barnes @buchanansebba

Baby love tags @jennmurawski13 @mybabyboytony @ms-betsy-fangirl @vampgirl1997 @ajosieface @afuckingshituniverse @chmedic @esoltis280

@southerngracela @bethabear12 @letsdisneythings @sellulii @katiew1973 @princess-evans-addict

@deidrahouseofpain @siren-queen03 @shipatheart @little-dark-empress @xxloki81xx @lizzyclifford13-blog @booktease21 @lets--be-honest @thevelvetseries @farfromtommy @mery-be @drakelover78

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #reader insert #captain america #steve rogers #baby love

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triggerhappyimagines · 4 years

Text

THIS IS REALLY CUTE I LOVE THIS REAUEST SO MUCH ALso i had to rewrite this because it didnt save im angry because it was coming out really good and it just,, deleted and I started crying sorry if this sucks i lov you

-angry unmotivated mod ouma

Kokichi

It was around 3 or 4 in the morning that he woke up to the loud sound of the video game you had been playing, he was displeased to say the least.

He rubbed his eyes and yawned, grabbing his phone to check the time. He squinted at the sudden bright light and groaned as he saw the time.

How insane do you have to be to stay up until 4:30 in the morning playing some dumb video game?

He decided enough was enough and shoved the warm covers off of him, whining as he did. He jumped out of bed and put on his slippers, stomping over to the living room where you were hunched over on the couch playing your games.

He stood in front of the TV with crossed arms, scowling down at you. While it was certainly amusing to see his angry expression, you were in the middle of the game, so you groaned at your boyfriend's antics.

"Kokichi, I'm in the middle of a very important part. Can you please move out of the way?"

He absolutely did not budge, still standing there with the angriest expression.

"You promised you'd come to bed at 2! Do you even know what time it is? It's 4 in the morning! Can you pleasee just get to bed?"

He was whining by now, still not bothering to move from in front of the TV. You sighed and frowned at him.

"Kichi, please. Just this last part and I'll go to bed, yeah?"

Don't even bother, you're not getting your way with Kokichi. If you were stubborn, he was triple the amount of stubborn.

He whined and whined again, going as far as threatening to just unplug your game console without letting you save. Finally, you ended up giving in to his protesting.

"Okay, fine. Can I save at least?"

He slowly moved so he would stop blocking the TV, arms still crossed as he stared at you through narrowed eyes. He watched your every move, making sure you wouldn't pull anything to get him off of you.

Once he made sure you had saved and turned off the console and TV, he walked up to you and grabbed your arm, pulling you off the couch and dragging you back to your shared room.

"You owe me hugs."

You weren't really complaining, though.

Once you both layed down and settled yourself under your warm blankets, he snuggled against you and kissed your cheek, wrapping an arm around you.

"You better not make me get up at 4 in the morning again with your loud games, I'm not gonna be looking after you every 2 seconds! Stop sleeping so late, though."

He'd never admit it to you, or anyone for that matter, but he really worried and cared for you, he didn't like you staying up late and would gladly go force you to sleep if you did it again.

im so sorry if thjs was trash, ribbon babie:( i hope you enjoyed either way and i luv you!! as kokichi said, dont sleep so late and take care of yourself, let me know if youd like me to chanhe anything!! <33

-mod ouma

#danganronpa #danganronpa imagines #danganronpa headcanons #danganronpa scenarios #danganronpa ships #mod ouma #danganronpa x reader #drv3 #drv3 kokichi #kokichi headcanons #kokichi imagines #kokichi scenarios #kokichi ouma #kokichi x reader #drv3 scenarios

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descendantofthesparrow · 4 years

Text

Multipart Commission work - Harry Hook x Reader - Prince behind the Pirate - part 14 - break

*mild cursing*

You stared blankly at the seat in front of you, blocking out Leah’s rambling. You looked down at your heels, glaring at the pink skirt laying on your thighs.

Leah had forced you back into your “princess” outfits, chucking your precious pirate style pink and blue leather jacket into the trash. Thankfully your grandpa had dug it out and hid it back in a servants closet who was already delivering it back to your dorm.

“we've arrived” Leah muttered, pinching your arm and nodding to the castle “behave, and smile.” You gave a shallow nod and took a deep breath, straightening your back and exiting the car as the chauffeur opened your door.

“Queen Leah, princess (y/n), an honor to have you here!” Grimsby took a bow to you and Leah, stand up straight and gesturing to the castle “please, come in!”

Leah nodded and jerked her head to the castle at you, pressing her lips together in a smile. You grinned at Grimsby and nodded “yes, thank you for having us!” he smiled back and led you and Leah into the main hall.

“Ariel and Eric are just outback, Jordan is up in his room and will be joining us in a moment outback, now please follow me”

You followed after Leah, looking down at your shoes, letting your façade drop for a moment.

You felt tears burn at your eyes again, but you forced them down and took a deep shaky breath, looking up and putting on that cheerful princess mask.

You stepped outside, grinning brightly as Ariel stood from the edge of their pool, running over to hug you “(y/n)! oh hello dear! How are you doing?” she pulled back and her brows furrowed and her smile diminished a bit. You smiled and patted her hands on your shoulders.

“im doing great! You?” Ariel stared at you for e moment before shaking her head, grinning.

“amazing, now, there are some snacks over there, and Jordan will be down in a moment.” She pointed to the other side of the yard, a large circle table holding multiple snacks and sweets, ranging from watermelon to truffles.

“thank you” you nodded, separating from her and walking over to the table, grabbing your (fave sweet). You zoned out as you watched the ocean waves roll on the shore.

Something flashed in your mind, a picture of you and harry walking along the shore, hands interlocked as you just talked.

Your breath hitched and you quickly rubbed your face, forcing away the tears again.

“Jordan! Come come!” you turned, sighing as the red-haired teen stepped outside, looking around as he did.

“hey mom” he muttered, accepting her quick hug and looking to Leah. “queen Leah” he bowed, Leah nodded her head and glanced over at you.

“prince Jordan, I assume you know my granddaughter (y/n)?” Jordan's blue eyes locked with yours, and you gave a smile, swallowing down the scream that wanted out.

“I believe so” he nodded, raising his brows as his dad pushed him toward you.

“Why don’t you two get to know each other while the three of us talk” Jordon nodded, walking up to you and nodding towards the beach.

“would you walk with me?” you nodded slowly and looked to your grandmother, whos cold eyes peered into yours.

“yes, that sounds lovely” you smiled, turning and letting Jordan lead you away.

You scanned him up and down, brow-raising as you looked at his pants.

They were cuffed….his nails were painted too.

Huh...

It had been an awkward ten minutes of walking around, your arms swinging behind your back. But then you couldn’t keep it in anymore. “um, weird question” Jordon looked at you oddly, raising his brow “are you-?” you lifted your hand and flipped it down, tilting your head.

Jordan's eyes widened before he burst out into laughter, nodding “oh-oh hell yeah” a tear slipped down his face as he laughed “im-oh gosh, im so fucking gay you don’t even-fuck have you seen Jay?! That dude is fucking hot how could I not be gay!”

You sighed in relief and started to laugh with him, the tension you felt disappointing “oh god…wait do your par-“ Jordan winced and shook his head.

“no…they-I think they would support me but…im not ready yet” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck “Melody is the only one who knows…and Sebastian”

You hummed and nodded, looking off to the sea. “siblings find out as soon as they look at you” you giggled, Jordan snorting and nodded.

“yeah pretty much….Audrey?”

“bi as fuck” you snickered “shes gay as fuck for girls but shes bi” Jordan giggled and shook his head, crouching down and folding his arms, leaning his chin on them.

“oh boy, this is one big mess ain't it?” he sighed, you groaned and sat down next to me.

“tell me about it, I haven’t even told Harry about this” you ranted, hitting your chest to remove the lump.

Jordan perked up, raising his brows “Harry? Wait you have a boy?”

You gave him a sad smile and shrugged “had…..Leah blackmailed me, marry you and she signs the document allowing more vks including Harry, but I can never contact him again or, don’t marry you and she makes me leave him to rot on the isle” you couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, the hot liquid running down your cheeks and dropping into the sand.

“oh shit” Jordan muttered, pulling you into a hug “that-that fucking sucks” you sniffed and rubbed your cheek against his arm.

“i-wont ever see him again….god fuck” you gasped and squeezed your eyes shut.

“….were gonna figure something out, I promise” Jordan muttered, rubbing your head.

“…..” you sniffed, sighing and leaning your head back, feeling the sun on your face.

Harry paced around in the little dream world, (y/n) had yet to arrive. it was late, so why wouldn’t she be here?! She had a pretty good sleep schedule!?

“Harry” he spun around, a bright grin blooming on his face….before it dropped.

“(y/n)…are yeh alright?” he strode over to you, gathering you into his arms and pressing his forehead to yours “love yer shakin’ “

“Ha-arry” you broke, sobbing and pressing your face into his chest “im-im sorry- ‘m sorry” you let out a small sob-scream, Harry panicking and holding you tighter, carefully kneeling to the floor and pulling you into his lap.

“lass what are yeh sorry for?!” he cooed, running his hand through your hair and pulling it back from your face, some stray strands sticking to your cheeks “love?”

“i-im marrying someone” Harry's heart shattered, and he pulled away, standing and stumbling back, his horrified ocean blue eyes staring into your broken ones “I don’t want to Harry! My grandmother is forcing me to!” you pleaded, reaching out to Harry, hardly able to breathe through your sobs.

Harry's heart turned to dust as he listened to you, he dived back into your arms, pulling you to his chest and holding you tightly.

“my love I am so sorry” he whispered, “why is she-“

“If I do, she’ll let you off the isle, all of you, but if I don’t-“ your voice broke, more tears running down your face, soaking Harry's shoulder “the document will never be approved and she’ll make me leave you here to die and I cant-I can't I just can't do that!” you screeched, your body shaking intensely “but when you-when you come over, she said I can never see you again and-and if I- if she finds out we talk she’ll send you back and I can't have that I need you in Auradon and alive and-“ you couldn’t stop rambling, your eyes wide.

“(y/n), princess please, deep breathes” Harry cooed, pulling you away from him and cupping your cheeks “you’re hyperventilating”

“Harry im so sorry” Harry shushed you, kissing your forehead. “lass you had no control in her decision, well figure this out”

“im sorry, im sorry, im sorry” you muttered over and over, your fingers drifting through his jacket.

“love…(y/n) whats-(Y/N)?!?!” Harry grabbed for you, screaming as his arms drifted through you “NO whats- what are you?! (Y/N)?!”

“im sorry” you sobbed, laying your hands between your knees and pressing your face to them “im so sorry”

“(y/n)!” Harry reached out for you, crying out as his hand went through you and you disappeared, “NO!” the world around him started to crack, the cherry blossom tree above him turning grey, its blossoms dying and turning to ash. “noNonONO! PLEAse nO!” the mountains in the distance crumbled, the earth beneath him breaking, sending him into the abyss.

“(Y/N)!!!” he screamed.

Harry shot up in bed, tears streaming down his face…..” why” he croaked, falling back and letting out a heart-wrenching sob, tossing an arm over his eyes “why?”

-end of part 14-

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bitchiha · 4 years

Text

A/N: I accidentally posted the request before I finished LOL. So I don’t know much about Tsundere relationships, but I did some reading on it just before I started writing and I hope I did the request some justice! Also I’m literally Kankuros bitch <3

Ps, I’m sorry I didn’t put a keep reading thingy idk how to do it on mobile and my trash laptop is broken 😭😭

Also I didnt include tobirama bc I absolutely hated how his turned out and I had to delete it im sorry 😖

✎ Tsundere relationship! (Hidan, Kank, Naruto)

Kankurō

Ahh, where to start? I think you’ll meet on a mission co partnered with the Leaf...

You and Shikamaru are sent to assist the Sand on a mission. Now, we already know Kankurō is a bit of a sassy mf when it comes to the Leaf like I think he whole heartedly believes the Sand is superior and you also have those feelings about your own village... So there’s an instant dislike for one another. Kinda like an instant rivalry.

Literally the first thing you say to him is “So, the Sand can’t take care of their own missions?” And that sets Kankurō off, “What, how dare you- ack! Temari, that hurt! I’m not gonna let her walk all over us like that, I’ll fight you right now you Leaf Village bi- ow! Temari!” Shikamaru has to hold you back LMFAOO you’re ready to throw hands “Huh, what’s that? Sounds like you’re really determined for me to kick your ass?” He lowkey liked when you said that to him lol.

Anyways, the two of you are bickering the whole entire way to the missions destination. You’ll tease eachother about anything and everything you can. So, once you find out about his puppet master jutsu its only natural that you fall on the floor with laughter. Like full on tears and strangled breathing. Now this is something you can really tease him about.

“What! You still play with dolls? I bet you have little sleep over parties with them and do their hair-“

You’re cut off because he tries to trap you in the Ant. Temari has to strangle him and force him to let you out. You’re lucky he didn’t iron maiden your ass LMFAOO.

This is the kind of the energy you guys carry whenever you see eachother from now on. He’ll see you more often too because you carry out a lot of Leaf and Sand allied missions and duties. Rip to anyone who gets put on a mission with you two tbh.

But on one particularly hard mission it ends up down to the two of you fighting off like 10 enemies. He’s trying to focus on fighting them, but he can’t stop thinking about if you’re okay. His distractedness earns him a particularly hard blow.

You end up having to fight off the remaining enemies yourself, all the while protecting him. The last thing he remembers is you screaming his name when he gets hit and the fear that was in your eyes at seeming him like that. It slowly turns to anger and then you kick the bad guys asses. He’s like half conscious but is laying there like: whatta bad bitch. Then he passes out.

Starts to really admire you after that and his comments aren’t as snarky when he sees you next. It’s more like little jabs and teases because that’s how he shows his affection, but they were no longer the hardcore roasts he’d dish out before. You probably stop flaming his ass too because let’s be real here; you’ve both obviously been attracted to each other from the start you just didn’t want to admit it.

Like cmon, he didn’t wait for you at the gates every single time he knew you were visiting just to insult you first. No. He came there to see your cute ass first!!Same goes for you, like you didn’t take all the missions to the Sand for nothing. You came there to see your fav hot headed puppet master.

He’ll ask you out a few months later, when you end up at the Sand again. Probably takes you to dinner before going back to his place. I 100% see him showing you his puppets and this time you’ll actually show your interest and not just tease him lol. Probably ends up making out with you on his workbench. Ok that’s all.

Naruto

You meet eachother for the first time at Ichirakus. Second to Naruto, you actually bring in the most cash for the place. So it’s surprising you two had never met each other before.

Until now of course. He’s just gotten back from a long mission and he’s dying for some ramen. He strolls right in and orders a miso pork ramen, but the old man tells him there’s no more pork left.

Probably flips his shit like who tf ate it all?? Then the old man points at you. You’re sitting there chowing down you’re literal 15th bowl, the giant stack of empty bowls next to you proving it. You watch the blondie charge right at you while you eat the last miso pork bowl of ramen for the day.

You put the bowl down and wipe your face just as he stops right infront of you, very close to your face. You can see the anger in his eyes, but you are not giving up. Also, the guy looks sorta comical so you basically laugh in his face which gets him more worked up.

“What are you laughing about? You just ate all of old mans pork for the day!! That last bowl is mine, believe it!” Once again you laugh in his face because you just can’t help yourself. Probably end up fist fighting eachother on the spot. Neither of you win because one of you ends up smashing into the bowl, sending it flying right at the old man. He kicks you both out, right after you pay your tab of course.

This arises a competition of who will eat all the miso pork ramen first, it goes on for a good few months. Ichirakus is swimming in your money now. Until one day, when you two arrive at Ichirakus at the same time. You basically have a show down. Unfortunately both your wallets are cleaned out and you can’t even pay off your bills anymore so you’re now indebted to the ramen place.

Narutos mission money won’t even cut it anymore and you can’t pay your debt off either. So you both have to get a job doing Ichirakus dishes until you can pay your debt off.

At first you two wanna strangle each other everytime youre in each others line of sight. But slowly — veryyyy slowly, you start to bond over your love for ramen. Like you can probably sniff the bowls before you clean them and tell instantly what ramen was eaten out of it.

You discover you both have the same favourite instant ramen, the same favourite Ichirakus order, etc... Then before you know it you actually start dating. Nobody knows how it happened because you were rivals for a good couple of months, but now all the sudden your holding hands while and eating ramen together peacefully. Mind blown.

Hidan

You’re a brand new Akatsuki member and you’re cute. Really cute. Not only was Deidara drooling over you too, Kakuzu just asked to file your taxes. Do you even do taxes? You’re a rouge ninja. Anyways, Hidan is so sure that Jashin would love to have you.

You two start taking to eachother and actually getting along pretty well, until he mentions Jashin. You shut him down so quickly after that. Like you’re not interested in his fake God, no matter how cute he is.

From then on he tries to ignore you or is just super petty towards you all the time. Like you just got back from a failed mission with your Akatsuki partner and he’s at the hideout mocking you like “if you prayed to Jashin with me this wouldn’t have happened.”

Literally so fucking petty.

Anytime you suggest an idea to the Akatsuki he immediately tears it down. It doesn’t really matter when he does though because nobody really listens to Hidan anyways, it’s just annoying.

You two get put on a mission together one day because Kakuzu has some important money buisness to take care of. Hidans so pissy about it, “oh come on! Out of everybody you picked y/n? She doesn’t even respect my religion, how are we supposed to work together!?” Kakuzu just looks at him and is like “Hidan, I don’t care about Jashin either.”

Butthurt the whole journey. If you guys get bombarded or run into trouble he probably doesn’t even bother backing you up. If anything he tries to feed you to them LMFAOOO. Such a jerk.

Then, once he thinks that all the bad guys are gone he turns to you all confidently because you got your ass whooped and he’s like “see, I bet if you prayed to Jashin you wouldn’t be injured this bad-“

An enemy just stabbed him right through the chest and he watches the look of shock on your face. That’s when he gets an idea. He falls on the floor super fucking dramatically and you have to take the last guy down for him.

Then you kneel next to him and cradle his body because yes he was such a petty bitch but he actually started to grow on you. So you cry and in this distressed moment you probably even attempted to pray to Jashin because you’re desperate as fuck.

This bitch really makes his eyes flutter open and is like; “y/n?” Really fucking plays off that he was unconscious, “Jashin... Jashin saved me.”

Your ass just got clowned but I mean you believe it because like he just got stabbed right through the heart. Even immortal people should die if they were stabbed in the heart, right? It seemed like it was the case.

So yah he basically just emotionally manipulated you into being semi interested in his religion.

Then he stops being petty with you and probably asks you to sleep with him as an offering to Jashin. “It’s only fitting! He just saved my life afterall.”

Literal definition of a sleeze bag <3

#naruto shippuden #naruto #naruto headcanons #naruto imagines #naruto x reader #hidan x reader #kankuro #hidan headcanons #anime headcanons

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billhaderlovebot · 5 years

Text

beep beep (2) - richie tozier

okay, mentions of sex, weed, and as usual, language that would make my grandmother disown me. some horror-typical blood stuff. enjoy.

@the-star-above-you @ceruleanrainblues

had it not been for richie's incredible, rugged good looks and sex appeal, as he had so tactfully put it, you were sure you would have tried to fucking murder the guy at least once, because he was infuriating at the best of times.

you'd never actually made an attempt on his life, of course, but now, as he tried to peel away from you and get out of the bed that wasn't a single but not quite big enough for two people, you almost killed him, hissing at him to lay the fuck back down right now we might die today i haven't seen you for like half my life you asshole cuddle me right now, richard.

richie, of course, as he hadn't ever been able to say no to you, smirked and shifted to lay back down, resuming the earlier position in which your limbs had become not unlike that thing where your headphones get all knotted in your bag and you can't figure out how to separate them.

"that's what i thought." you huffed, leaning up to press a kiss to the underside of his jaw.

this was almost surreal. being back here, and with the same man you left behind. it was like, the whole time you'd been apart, you'd only been half a person. and now you were back and he was holding you and you were one whole, functioning person again because he was your other half.

"i was just thinking, yknow." richie voiced, pressing a kiss of his own to your temple. "about, uh, your husband."

"i fucking hope not. that's not good bedroom etiquette, tozier, bedding a girl and then fantasising about her husband."

"shut up," he laughed. "no, i mean, you're... married." he noticeably recoiled at the word, and you visualised the nose-scrunch, because he was definitely scrunching his nose right now. god, you loved him so much.

"i noticed."

"yeah, but, babe, this isn't a very married thing to be doing, is it?" richie gestured to the bedclothes, which you were both very naked underneath, and also his shirt, which had ended up hanging from the door handle. there was underwear strewn about the place, and you literally did not know where your pajamas had gone. oh well.

"rich, when i made the decision to come here, i made the decision to leave there." it was true. you may not have known it at the time, but the moment you left that house you were never to return.

your husband might have been calling, and you'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought about him. but any calls he made would have come through in a stream of bubbles and a faint gurgling sound, what with your phone still being back home in your bathtub. being back here just proved that this was where you were always supposed to be. with him. you slid off your wedding ring, pressing it into his palm, and it was as if a weight had been lifted.

"it's always been you, richie."

and that was enough for him.

---

bill raised his eyebrows at last night's dark purple and red hickeys that littered your throat, courtesy of a one richard tozier, before joining you where you sat in the common area. you hadn't thought to pack a turtleneck, or a scarf, at that, and so you'd have to avoid everyone's inquisitive looks and make do.

when richie emerged from the kitchen, a cup of coffee in his hand and a matching set of hickeys, bill sighed.

"th-thought so." he said.

"huh?"

"thin w-w-walls, guys."

"it's not her fault im the best she's ever had." remarked richie, winking at bill and falling onto the couch beside you. he slung an arm over your shoulders and pulled you into him, sipping his coffee.

you shrugged. "yeah, billy, and it's not his fault he hasn't had a good lay since i dumped his ass in derry."

"hey! you didn't mean to dump my ass."

"ah, but i did, nonetheless."

"fuck you." richie teased, setting his coffee down on the table so he could pretend to argue with you properly.

"no, fuck you." you shot back.

"fuck both of you." a voice, eddie's, whined from the kitchen where richie had come from and interrupted your pretend dispute. "i mean, you kept me up all fucking night, fucking each other absolutely senseless in the room next to mine, you inconsiderate assholes."

"they haven't changed, eddie." bill groaned, rolling his shoulders and leaning back on the couch.

"i know that," said eddie "but i don't think i can deal with it, they're all fucking over each other!"

you supposed eddie was right.

richie, now realising you were here and he was with you and you were both within kissing distance of each other again after over two decades, he took every opportunity to shove you against a wall or a door or a sink or on a bed and kiss you hard. a lot. a lot. seriously, he'd sprung at least four impromtu heavy makeout sessions (with tongue) on you so far and it was only your first day here.

it was like you were teenagers again.

god, if only.

"w-we need to put a plan together." bill said firmly, clasping his hands together. you had noticed his stutter had been worse since you'd left the restaurant. not as bad as when you were kids, but still there. "w-w-we need everyone here, t-together, which doesn't include you two s-sneaking off to suck face."

"but she's got such a nice face." richie whined.

"she won't if you don't get your shit together." you heard the voice of ben hanscom (or, handsome, as richie now referred to him.) as he trudged down the stairs and joined you all in the living room. "so shut up and listen in case IT decides to tear it off her."

now, that had really freaked richie out, so he shrugged in defeat and pulled you tighter to him, kissing your forehead and holding you to his chest.

"good morning to you too, ben." you yawned, circling an arm around richie's waist and allowing him to just hold you.

what? he was fucking warm, ok.

"are you guys gonna be like this the whole time?" ben queried, gratefully accepting the cup of coffee eddie had just brought out for him.

"i think it's sweet." beverly was the next to come in, ruffling the back of her hair and rubbing sleep out of her eyes.

"yeah guys, we all got hot or married, and richie got less and less familiar with his fucking shower. we should be impressed he got anywhere near her." eddie chided. a chorus of laughter arose, all of you sat around the coffee table on plush couches, and you could pretend, just for a moment, that this was all you were here for. a reunion. but you weren't.

"m-mike's meeting us later." bill explained. "we have.... stuff to do."

---

the clubhouse was almost exactly how you remembered it (save for the inch-thick layer of dust and the smell of rot and the slight water damage from what must have been 27 years of rain leaks). you'd damn near punched richie in the fucking face when he pulled that "you'll float too" bullshit. his impressions were always impeccable, but now was not the time. he'd rectified his mistake by kissing you soundly and offering one to everyone else, to which they all refused.

"reckon we could still fit?" richie echoed your own thoughts as you both stared in at the dusty old hammock you'd spent so many hours on as teenagers, nostalgia coming over you in waves.

"how much you betting, trash-mouth?" you grinned, your tongue poking out from between your teeth.

"five bucks says we can."

you looked over the stretch of fabric that ben had pinned up between the boards on the ceiling all those years ago. you could barely fit on it when you were teenagers, so there wasn't much change of it happening 20-or-so years on. "i say we can't, so, ten bucks."

"done." he said, with an air of finality, and stuck his hand out for you to shake.

"nah," you shook your head. extending your little finger instead."handshakes are for businessmen and drug dealers. pinky swear."

richie hooked his pinky around yours and flashed you his signature shit-eating grin. "get ready to cough up."

a great deal of struggling later, (richie almost bringing the fucking roof down) you were considerably warmer and ten dollars poorer. the rest of the losers stared on in disappointment because the two of you were still absolutely insane. but you had done it.

granted, you'd had to twist very close around each other to fit on, and your leg was sticking out at an odd angle, but neither of you were terribly bothered.

"ten bucks, babe."

"can't i just have sex with you?" you groaned. you hadn't brought much money with you in the first place, and you really needed a coffee and a therapeutic shop for stationary.

"how about you give me ten bucks and then i have sex with you." he suggested, wiggling his eyebrows.

"i think that consistutes prostitution, actually, babe." you pointed out, kissing his lips and reluctantly pressing two folded fives into his hand. "but i do expect something by way of a sexual favour later on, provided we don't die."

"guys? important stuff is going on. yknow, like, if-we-don't-do-this-we'll get-fucking-murdered stuff." you'd forgotten that the rest of them were there, and eddie had rather pulled you both out of the bubble you were existing in.

"lighten up, eds. i just got my girl back." for once, richie wasn't joking around, and the sincerity in his voice almost made you cry. eddie didn't say anything more.

but mike did. "we have to split up to find our artefacts." he chimed in, reminding you all exactly what you were there for. "we have stan's, and i have mine. you'll know what they are when you see them."

you couldn't help but feel sorry for mike. he knew so much and had everything so planned out, but at what cost? he had been waiting alone for years and years and years, knowing full well the rest of derry depended on him not giving up, even if they didn't know it themselves.

"w-we can't split." bill interjected. "it's t-too dangerous. what if one of us d-d-d-d..." he inhaled deeply, calming himself and allowing mike to put a hand on his shoulder. "what if something happens. i won't forgive myself."

"im not letting this one out of my fucking sight, mikey." richie concurred, absently drumming his fingers where they rested on your waist. "no fucking way."

"you have to do this alone. all of you." mike continued, and you knew he was right.

ben and beverly knew it, too, and had begun making their way out of the clubhouse, the maggot-eaten wood of the ladder groaning in protest underneath their feet.

"right. a-are you s-sure, mike? really?"

"positive. this is how it has to be."

------

"okay, so if you die, we can't fuck later, and i would rather like to, so, maybe don't die, please." richie was trying to make light of possibly the worst moment of his life, but it wasn't working so well, because his hands were shaking so hard that he could barely keep ahold of you.

"i'll be fine, rich." you assured him, leaning against his chest and inhaling the scent of home.

"you don't know that, y-y-you don't-- t-there's no way you can-- y-y-you're-"

you cut him off by firmly pressing your lips to his, and it did seem to calm him. the act of holding you close and feeling the rise and fall of your chest and knowing he could touch you and you were still here. you thread your fingers through the soft hair at the nape of his neck and allowed him to deepen the kiss, knowing he needed it.

he had always needed reassurance when you were kids, because he'd always been insecure or scared about something he couldn't remember. he always went to you first, because the whole vulnerable thing wasn't really his scene, and you were the only person who saw it. and his nightmares, god, the fucking nightmares. you hadn't seen him cry before until he woke up shaking in your bed, searching around for something to grab onto because he couldn't tell what was real or not. he cried for what seemed like hours in your arms and all you could do was hold him.

"you're stuttering worse than billy." you murmured, close enough so your lips just barely touched. "ill be fine."

his eyes searched yours desperately for any sort of truth, but he could tell that you weren't sure. that you were just as shit-scared as he was and you were holding it together for the both of you.

"fuck." was all he said.

"fuck." you agreed.

---

1994

---

"baby." richie's voice was practically ecstatic down the phone. you grinned and reached over to your shelf to turn your record player, and the cure, down.

"yes?"

"i have, like, the best idea ever."

"and what would that be?"

"so, yknow, i have like, a shit ton of pot."

"uh huh."

"and i haven't seen you in like, uh, like two days. which is, fuckin, two days too long, yknow."

"yeah, of course."

"so, what say you and me get really really stoned and wait for your grandmother to leave for bingo and have a lot, and i mean a lot, of high sex."

"trash-mouth tozier, i may just take you up on that." you smirked, twirling the bright red phone cord in between your fingers.

"oh, good, cause im already here."

richie's voice was now coming from your actual window.

you whirled round to see him perched on the fire escape like a fucking curly haired pigeon with a high libido.

"god, you do know how to make an entrance, rich, fuck me."

"ask, and ye shall receive." richie smirked, dropping his legs through your window. in two strides he was in front of you, pupils dilated and partly concealed by his dark curls. his glasses were almost falling off his nose.

the phone receiver dropped from your hand and clattered to the ground as you reached up to take them off, and-

oh, and then his tongue was inside your mouth, so the glasses fell and landed alongside the phone by your bare feet.

no matter how many times you kissed richie tozier, it never failed to surprise you just how fucking good he was at it. you found yourself rather at his mercy whenever his lips were on yours, his hands on your face or in your hair or your back trouser pockets. he'd always make a point of tugging your bottom lip between his teeth and oh my fucking god. wow.

"well i can't fucking see you now, can i?" he whined, pulling away and blinking hard in an attempt to adjust to you having taken his actual sight away.

you responded by reaching your hand around to his back pocket where you knew his silver zippo would be.

"and here i thought you loved me."

richie stuck his bottom lip out in mock sadness, but grinned about two seconds after, reaching into his other pocket and handing you a small zip-lock baggie.

"you know that i love you." you smiled, kissing his lips and edging round him to get to your bed.

"you do?" he asked.

"more than anything."

----

2016

----

the zippo lighter was much heavier than you remembered it, you thought, as you turned it over and over in your hands.

you flicked it open, but no flame arose. not as though you expected it to.

god, those years were the happiest of your life. after IT. when richie and yourself could be happy and in love and kids.

just two stupid kids in love.

and your heart ached now as you thought of all the lost years. all that time you could have spent with him, watching him grow, and growing alongside him.

but you were together again, and it was alright. it was alright, now.

"beep beep, richie's girl."

the voice that came from behind you caused your heart to plummet, and you swore it could have fallen out of your ass.

"oh, fuck no. you fuck right off, right fucking now." you steadied the shaking of your hands. you were not afraid. i mean, yes, you were, very much so. but you weren't letting It see you weak.

clenching your fists, you slowly turned to look at the space near the window from which the voice had come.

oh, fuck.

it was richie.

or it would have been, if it were normal for richie to have a huge slice across his throat and a considerable amount of his left arm missing.

blood poured like a fucking faucet from the slash, forming grotesque patterns where it fell across its shirt.

"help me, baby." it choked, hands coming up to the wound, trying desperately to hold it together. it fell to its knees before you and pleaded with you to fucking help me, please and then it was crying and in that moment it's eyes looked so fucking much like his that you almost threw up.

"no, fuck no." you were seriously, seriously about to vomit right now, but you weren't about to embarrass yourself in front of a supernatural evil entity.

"please." blood came spluttering from its mouth, and you had to commend it on its honest to god phenomenal acting. it wasn't a pretty sight, honestly, because richie in any form of pain was enough to make you want to tear out your eyes, even a fake richie. but this wasn't him.

"you got it wrong." you flipped the lighter open and closed absently, hoping to whatever god would listen that the shake in your voice wasn't noticeable.

the mock expression of fear disappeared from not-richie's face.

"m not fucking scared of you. you'll only hurt me if i let you, right?" you hoped to god that you were right, because it'd be pretty embarrassing if after all that, you were torn to shreds anyway.

and then it was gone. leaving behind, scrawled in fake richie's fake blood on the wall:

beep beep, richie's girl.

you had to admire the theatrics, really.

---

richie hadn't wanted to talk about his artefact, or where he had got it, and you knew better than to push him.

he looked so fucking tense, tears in his eyes, that you just wanted to hold him and never let go ever until the earth stopped spinning. but that wasn't an option, so:

"nap?" you suggested, reaching up to thread your fingers through his hair.

his eyes fluttered shut and he leaned into your touch.

"yeah. nap."

"rich?"

"yeah?"

"i love you."

"i love you more."

"fuck you."

"no, fuck you."

#richie tozier x reader #richie tozier #adult richie #it richie #it 2019 #it chapter 2

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wuvbug-kny · 4 years

Text

too late — kamado tanjirou

↬ tw!! suicidal thoughts

↬ tanjirou x fem!reader x inosuke

↬ genre: angst

“i-i really do like you..um, it wasnt easy to confess b-but..yeah..”

my body shook. my head ached. my anxiety was over the roof. what was i thinking, why would i confess to him?! oh god. im going insane. what was i thinking..

i felt tears in my eyes start to form as my body got hotter by the second. my fists were clenches togethee tightly, nails digging into my palms as my heart raced at an unsteady pace. i gulped. why wasnt he saying anything? why is he just standing there? oh no.. my eyes remained stuck onto the ground as the knot in my throat got tighter. the tears that had formed in my eyes began to fall to the ground, and out of embarassment i lowered my head even more hoping he wouldnt notice.

tanjirou, please dont break me more than i already am broken.

“(y/n)..”

“y-yes?”

“im sorry.

i cant reciprocate your feelings.”

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

i felt numb. i felt like complete, utter trash.

i felt worthless. i feel worthless.

of course it turned out that way.

why did i get my hopes up? why was i so dumb? to think someone like him would love such a lonely, miserable girl like me.

my heart ached. ever since i felt like the hole in my chest had gotten the biggest its ever been. it hurt, the pain was incredibly painful, i felt like i seeped even more into darkness than the darkness i was emorsed in before.

god, why am i so miserable? what is this life you’ve given me? what is my purpose?

sometimes, no, at all times i just want to disappear.

the knock on my door startled me, causing me to jump up from my laying position on my bed, in result of getting up too fast i had landed on my floor painfully. i grunted in pain as more tears began to spilled out from my eyes.

im miserable..

quickly sitting up, i wiped the tears from my tomato reddened face before sucking everything up as best as i could.

“y-yes?” i replied to the knocking coming from my door.

the knocking got even louder.

confused, i called out again. “y-yes??”

i jumped, shrieking slightly as the door was kicked open. am i under attack? but this is the butterfly estate! scrambling to my bed like the coward i was, i quickly pulled out my blade, pointing it towards the now beaten down door.

“w-who is it??” i shivered.

“(y/n), you bird brain! training has started and everyone is still waiting on you!!”

in came inosuke, wearing his boar mask as usual.

i lowered my blade and sighed shakily, before putting it away. “i-inosuke..you scared me. you could of just answered to me instead of kicking my door open..” i said, getting up from the bed.

“whatever! you should be at training! you’re holding everyone up, you stupid hag!” he huffed, crossing his arms.

i forcefully made myself laugh, even though i was in now way amused by his words.

hes right.

im a burden to everybody.

i shouldnt be here.

i should just die.

im so worthless.

everyone would be better off without me.

without realizing, i felt the warmness of my tears flowing down my face. i felt my heart ache so badly, my body shaking.

unable to hold my stance, i fall to the floor. sobbing.

because im so pathetic.

taking my bruised up hands, i quickly try to wipe the tears away but they just keep coming, and coming. i cant stop. i cant stop. my bubble has bursted, i have no more energy, i have no energy to keep it all in anymore, i cant control myself.

as i was too busy drowning in my negative, self killing thoughts, i was interrupted when my hands were pulled away from my face.

a little taken aback, but still having tears flowing down my face, i looked up.

inosuke..

“what are you, a baby? stop it.” he grumbled as he wiped my tears away with his thumb. his thumb glided across my cheek, flicking my tears away as gently as ever. for a moment i felt my heart warm. this is the first time ive ever been carressed so gently. i loved the feeling, but at the same time surprised as to who i was recieving it from.

“dont cry anymore. i dont like it.” his hands gently carressed my face now as his emerald eyes looked into mine. i felt my heart skip a beat, the empty deep feeling in my chest being forgotten at the very moment. i couldnt look away from his eyes.

for the first time ever, i felt like. i was okay.

i teared up again, but before i could let the tears spill i engulfed inosuke in a hug. an endearing, loving, grateful hug. i sobbed as i buried my face into his chest.

“t-thank you. thank you so much.”

i felt his arms wrap around my shaking figure gently, as he at the same time patted my head.

i was honestly surprised as to what was going on right now. out of all people, inosuke.

you’ve made me so happy. you’ve made me feel safe, okay, and wanted.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

two months had passed ever since tanjirou had turned me down.

honestly, i had nothing against tanjirou. i never expected him to like me, heck, love me back even. i never expected him to reciprocate my feelings. but at the same time, i felt like i still had a chance. i dont know what was going through my mind at the time.

i still loved tanjirou. maybe not as much as before, but i knew i still had the slightesy feelings for him. i try my best to talk to him as if nothing had ever happened. i really just want to move on from it.

as much as i hate myself for it, seeing him and talking to him makes me feel worthless. i hate myself for feeling that way. if i could go back in time and redo everything, i most certainly would.

what hurt me even more was to see how close he had gotten himself with kanao. it was no surprise to me, honestly. kanao is a very pretty girl, and she’s just way better than me in general in regards to demon slaying and skill wise.

no wonder tanjirou would take interest in her.

i was happy for him, i really was. i held no resent towards kanao at all. afterall, it would be petty and childish.

kanao was a dear friend to me and if they really did have chemistry between one another, i do really wish them the best.

i just cant help but pity myself.

“(y/n)!”

i squeaked in surprise as i was suddenly lifted off the ground by a pair of arms around my waste and twirled around. it took me a moment to realize that it was nobody but inosuke, before having a giggling fit.

“i-inosuke! put me down!” i laughed as he started to make plane noises. i felt myself blush as his eyes locked itself with mine, before averting my gaze to block him from noticing my face had turned into a tomato red.

ever since i broke down in front of inosuke and had him comfort me, we’ve gotten a lot closer. not much has changed between us personality wise, but he associated with me way more and always seemed ready whenever id ask him a favor, etc. he also now liked to pick me up and pretend to toss me, or making plane noises as he twirled me around.

he’s honestly like my best friend now. i can actually talk to him about how i feel deep down inside. he listens but doesnt really give much input on it, but i dont mind. its inosuke afterall, what can i expect? all im grateful for is that he listens.

inosuke grinned before setting me back down on the floor. he patted my hat before literally collapsing onto the grass covered ground, yawning and using his arms to rest his head on.

“im tired, (y/n). take a nap with me.” he grunted, patting the spot next to him. i smiled before laying down too, as i looked up at the sky.

“hey, inosu-“ i cut myself off after i had looked at him and noticed he was already out like a light. i giggled a bit. hes such a baby, honestly.

i stared at his face a bit more and noticed how pretty and feminine his features were. his eyelashes were curled and at a beautiful length, his lips slightly parted making him look angelic. his fair skin with no scars made him look like an angel.

jeez, god really do be picking favorites.

i sighed before laying back down on the grass, closing my eyes as i rested my head on inosuke’s chest. i felt myself sleeping into sleep and just let it happen.

this was one of the many times i felt at peace, always with inosuke.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

“im telling you, inosuke and (y/n) have a thing going on! have you seen how they are with each other?!” falling onto the floor, zenitsu started to sob. “why, out of all people, him?! a pretty girl like (y/n) deserves better! eUUugGNnN!!”

“what are you guys talking about?” tanjirou asked as he walked into the room, a smile worn on his face as he laughed at zenitsu obviously being overdramatic about whatever it was.

aoi and the other three girls sighed as they continued on eating their lunch.

“zenitsu thinks (y/n) and inosuke are dating and hes freaking out about it because he knows he’ll never get someone as pretty as (y/n).” aoi said, laughing at the last part.

tanjirou froze, before laughing nervously. “aaah, dont say that, im sure zenitsu will find someone one day!”

aoi shrugged, followed on by more giggles coming from sumi and the two others.

“are (y/n) and inosuke really dating?” tanjirou asked, sitting down.

“dont even mention it! agh!” zenitsu cried from his laying position on the ground, before burying his face in his arms again.

aoi rolled her eyes before moving onto answering tanjirou. “well..no, actually yeah, no, we dont know. i mean it looks like it. they’ve gotten a lot of closer and inosuke is always up on (y/n) now. i mean, they’d make a really cute couple! i see the way (y/n) lights up when shes around him.”

“a-ah. i see.” tanjirou said, letting out a slight laugh. “well, im gonna head out to train now. ill see you all at dinner.”

aoi and the three girls said goodbye to him as he made his exit.

tanjirou walked down the halls of the butterfly estate, before stumbling upon the garden. he sighed, walking out with the intention to take a look at the peaceful view of the garden meadow and for some fresh air.

his peace was interrupted, however, as his eyes locked upon two well known people cuddled up on the garden grass, taking a peaceful nap.

his fists clenched, and so did his teeth.

he felt jealousy over power him. he did not realize it, but it was there and he felt it. he just didnt know what it was.

but what he knew, was regret.

that he had let (y/n) slip past him.

#kny tanjirou #tanjirou x reader #demon slayer tanjirou #angst #kny x reader #demon slayer inosuke #inosuke x reader #inosuke kny #im back #:(( <3 #kimetsunoyaiba #demon slayer #fanfic #kny fanfic #kny fandom

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hayffiebird · 4 years

Text

Taste of Strawberries, Chap. 21

Hayffie Post-Mockingjay Multi-chapter, Rated M

I hope you like angst on your fanfic sandwish :) Leave a comment and tell me your thoughts!

Also: (spoiler not a spoiler) I included the Capitol anthem from the new THG book “The ballad of songbirds and snakes” but it doesn’t give away the story so it’s safe to read.

Chapter 21 The betrayal

*ring ring*

… What?

*swallows back a sob* Haymitch? Haymitch, it’s me.

Ah. There she is. Long time no princess. What can you want?

I’m sorry. I know I should have called you a long time ago.

Oh, I remember that voice. Effs Trinket needs a shoulder to cry on, huh? So she goes to good ol’ Haymitch. Course. *takes a mouthful of something* It’s too bad mine’re all the way down here then. Both of ‘em.

I can take the train. If I go now I ought to be…

Here in a day. Yeah. And I’m supposed to just welcome you with open arms?

Haymitch…

That’s my name.

I really must speak to you. It’s im…

What for? I’m a dead-end drunk, remember?

I’ve never called…

No, that’s right. Your words were much fancier.

I know you’re angry. This is not easy for me either but…

I’m fine, sweetheart. Just fine. Can’t ruin a life that’s already ruined, right? I s’pose you want all your crap back? Yeah, the kids have it. They think you’re gonna come back, you know. “When hell freezes over”, am I right? But you know Peeta. I’ll just tell ‘em to send it over straight away so you never have to set your foot here ever again. Great, huh?

You left me, Haymitch! I didn’t want you to go! I didn’t want it to end!

Could’ve fooled me. *twists the top of another bottle* And don’t you worry your pretty head, sweetheart. You’ll get over it. Trust me. Soon you’re gonna find some nice, wholesome guy who does exactly what he’s told. It’ll be all: “Yes, Euphemia. No, Euphemia. Whatever you say, Eu…”

Don’t call me that! Haymitch, please! Mrs. Q, she… she tried to… I need you! If you care about me at all…

Oh, I cared about you. A lot. More than a lot. Should’ve fucking known better. So why don’t you call Plutarch or Octavia or any other of your friends and just leave me alone. Cause I owe you nothing. Nothing at all.

*sobs* I’m so stupid.

Have a wonderful life, Eff. I’m sure you’re gonna be deliriously happy.

*toot toot*

xXx

There was still some broth left. Katniss slipped her flask into a jacket pocket and poured a second mug.

The storm had finally blown itself out, for now anyway, but one look through the window quelled all hope for a hunting day. No point roaming the woods for sustenance when the snow lay waist-deep.

She fed Buttercup her last piece of bacon and carried the mug into the living room.

“I’m going to the bakery.”

Nightmares had made Haymitch kick all the cushions off the couch again. He lay on his side with the knife cradled against his chest like some scary version of a teddy bear.

“There’re scrambled eggs if you want it,” Katniss said. “And some bacon. I left it on the stove.”

She couldn’t set the mug down. Wasn’t enough space on the coffee table and Haymitch grunted at the sound of glass against glass when she tossed the empties in the container by the door.

He muttered something she couldn’t make sense of and pulled his arm up over his eyes to ward off the light from the one lamp. “Drink the broth at least.” She placed the cup at arm’s reach and was gone.

It was almost a month now since Haymitch set up camp on their couch. One day mid-dinner he just staggered into their living room and he hadn’t left since.

He was decent enough to not completely trash the place but still, you didn’t want Haymitch Abernathy for a roommate. He was hard enough to deal with nextdoor.

Katniss couldn’t stand it being at home these days. Haymitch woke both her and Peeta almost every night with the agonized sounds he made in his sleep and daytime was no better.

Their mentor, hollow-eyed and shrunken on the couch – it all reminded her too much of her mother and Katniss fled when she couldn’t help. She kept to the woods as much as possible and if not the woods the bakery or the Hob or Hazelle’s.

Anywhere but home.

When they finally asked him if it wasn’t time he moved back to his own house, they cleaned it for him, Haymitch only shot them a long look, like a dog they had just mistreated and rolled over so he faced the couch.

“She’s there,” that’s all he muttered.

And what could they do? Not tie him up and dump him somewhere. He was their mentor and they already owed him more than they could ever repay.

They had known something was off the moment they got home, the day before Christmas Eve.

They walked up the old pathway, loaded with bags and the first thing they saw when they passed Haymitch’s house was the Christmas tree lying in the snow, still green and frosty and covered with ornaments. Like someone had just thrown it out the door.

And it wasn’t the only thing.

In the ever-growing light they saw the ground littered with items. Towels and bed sheets and bath robes lay in bundles, all frozen stiff. Soggy, old newspapers and magazines too, blown apart by the frisk wind.

Her clothes were everywhere, along with an endless number of bottles and jars and other beauty products half-buried in the snow. They found napkins and slippers, perfume bottles and pillows. Hairbrushes, tea cups, blankets, curtains, shower curtains, even anagrammed towel hangers attached to chunks of the bathroom wall.

The state of his house was even worse, like a twister had gone through it. They asked him about it but Haymitch was a closed book.

Then, of course they found Effie’s note on their kitchen table and it wasn’t hard to piece together what had happened in their short absence.

They wanted to help. Of course they did. Only, how? Wasn’t like they could change what had already happened or say anything to make it better.

Not that Peeta didn’t try to talk to him. Talk at him. Finally Katniss stepped up and said, not unkindly,

“Just leave him be.”

Haymitch had said next to nothing the whole time but when Katniss and Peeta turned to leave he stopped them in their tracks.

“Just so we’re clear,” he said and looked Peeta straight in the eye; a feat considering how intoxicated he was. “You don’t get any ideas ‘bout calling the Capitol, alright. I mean it, boy. This is my wreckage.”

Sun set early this time of year. For the remaining hours, Katniss and Peeta dug for treasures in Haymitch’s garden, until they had to squint in order to see. And even then some of Effie’s belongings would probably not be found until Spring.

They brought it all back to their house. Silently, Peeta filled the sink with hot water and suds and washed the plates and glasses and tea cups while Katniss stood at the ready with a towel, both of them deep in thought.

Back in District 4, when Peeta gathered her in bed, he had teased her about their cosy, up-coming Christmas. Painted her pictures of Effie plaguing both her and Haymitch with her bright holiday spirit and bringing them gifts – wrapped in regular wrappings so she didn’t technically break Haymitch’s rule of “no Christmas presents.”

Dinner at the Hob would follow where Effie would spend about two thirds of it clucking over Haymitch’s table manners and Haymitch stating he should just hire her voice to cut his turkey for him and “we’re not doing this again, that’s for sure”, all the while not quite able to keep his hands to himself.

“And then they’ll top the evening with a see-through excuse like ‘I’m gonna go get a bottle’ or ‘I am simply exhausted. Do you mind if we call it a night?’,” Peeta finished and grinned at Katniss who squirmed like a worm in hot ashes.

It just felt good to make fun of their mentor being happy for once. Happy with Effie.

Now, everything was in ruins and tomorrow would be just like any other day, with Haymitch drunk and getting drunker.

Not that Christmas had ever been a busy affair in the Victor’s Village. They had dinner and that was pretty much it. A slightly fancier one, perhaps, with about a 50% chance of Haymitch joining. He only ever showed up last New Year’s because of Effie.

Because of Effie. That phrase applied for many aspects of Haymitch’s life, didn’t it? He’d deny it but just the fact she got him to even consider drying out pretty much said everything.

“Maybe we should call her,” Peeta wondered, not sure himself.

“But you heard him,” Katniss said. “This is none of our business. And they’ll come around, eventually.”

They were both so used to their mentor and escort’s antics. Those stubborn, old fools were always at each other’s throat and through and through they found a way back to one other. Back at each other’s side.

This too would pass, surely? Sooner or later, one of them would swallow their pride and pick up the phone.

And while Katniss and Peeta waited for that call they stored Effie’s things for safe-keeping, well out of Haymitch’s sight and stopped asking questions.

But February rolled to a close with dark days and even darker nights. Life in Twelve was just one storm after another and people were forced to seek shelter at the Hob so as not to get lost in them. The vixen’s cry echoed in the night and Katniss and Peeta stored up on candle sticks for the blackouts.

March came with the deceiving breath of spring only to bury the district in a second winter. Hazelle’s kids put her on bed rest after a sprained ankle. Brooks gushed in plentiful streams under the ice and an apple-cheeked Katniss returned from the woods, game bag loaded with wild turkey.

April arrived with warmer weather. Tiny greens peeked in people’s gardens and the patches of last year’s grass grew bigger for each day. Water dropped down every icicle and town’s kids and Seam kids alike melted snow in water barrels to make the spring come faster.

Everyone kept busy. It was a time of change, of rebirth. Winter was finally over and it had a rejuvenating effect on everyone.

Well, almost everyone.

Effie’s name was never mentioned and yet she was ever present. If an outsider walked past and saw Haymitch on the couch he might think “same old, same old”. But Katniss and Peeta were family and they knew him better than that.

Haymitch had never been an easy person to deal with and definitely not a happy-go-lucky one. But every once in a while, if he had a couple hours of dreamless sleep it was like he got an energy boost.

That’s when he got up, checked on the geese, helped Peeta in the bakery, maybe just had a hot meal down at the Hob before he returned to his bottles.

Now, it was like he didn’t care about anything anymore. He just lay on the couch, drinking and God help the one who bothered him. He only ever left for the bathroom breaks or when his liquor ran out.

But even that came to an end.

It happened when Haymitch staggered into the Hob on a Sunday morning.

“Usual,” he slurred and tossed handfuls of money on Ripper’s bar counter.

“Sorry, Haymitch. You’re too early,” she said. “The train doesn’t arrive until Monday. We’re all out now.”

“Usual!” Haymitch repeated, louder this time like she was slow. Sighs rose from around the tables.

“It’s Sunday,” Ripper told him patiently. “Come back tomorrow and I’ll get your bottles. I can’t sell it to you now because we’re out.”

She couldn’t make him understand. Each time she tried Haymitch only got surlier. “Wha’s the problem?” he whined. “I have money. Wha’s the problem?”

He scared some of the little kids eating breakfast with their parents. The temperature in the diner seemed to have dropped twenty degrees and finally a gray-haired old man muttered, loud enough for Haymitch to hear it,

“Who’d have thought we’d ever wish for that fancy sow to come back?”

That’s when Haymitch wielded his knife. He was so drunk it was pathetic but for Ripper that was it! She kicked him out and told him either he left his knife at home or he would have to get someone else to buy him his liquor.

From then on, Katniss and Peeta stocked up his supplies and Haymitch found even fewer reasons to get up.

What for?

Maybe it would have been better, Katniss thought. Less cruel, if he never got those precious few months with Effie. Because losing her, losing her altogether and not just as a lover, seemed to have opened a crack in his rock bottom and pushed him down that hole as well.

And Effie, how was she doing?

xXx

May. God, he hated May. Ever since he turned twelve, the month right before the Hunger Games was nothing but a ticking clock. Even now, years after the war had ended, there were still times when he started awake, thinking,

Reaping day’s almost here!

He couldn’t sleep. While he marinated his liver a bug had detoured in to the house and was now buzzing about in the window.

The sound unnerved him because the bloody thing just wouldn’t give up! It bumped and thumped against the glass over and over again, yearning for freedom.

It was Peeta’s damn fault. He always opened a window when it rained.

Finally he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Alright, alright,” Haymitch growled and swung his legs off of the couch.

It was a wasp. Not the tracker jacker kind, just a regular one. It crawled along the window sill, flew into the glass once more and wiggled it’s antennae in irritation.

“Out with you now,” Haymitch muttered as he struggled with the window hooks. “Be free.” And watched the bug disappear.

The night air felt balmy against his skin. He took his time unscrewing the lid on the silver hip flask. The geese were quiet for a change but the mockingjays were still up, frisky and begging for company. He ran his hand through his wild beard and drank the flask dry. It didn’t take long.

He was just looking for something to fill it up with when he heard the sound. One even his soaked brain could place.

A phone. Ringing.

His mind jumped to Effie and he could’ve kicked himself for it. He resisted the desire to slam the window shut and closed it before he returned to the couch. The coffee table held nothing but empties. They clinked under his fingertips until he found one with some in it. He lifted it to his lips and greeted the burn with a sigh of relief.

Outside, the ringing continued. Even with the window closed, there was no escaping it.

It’s not her. Why’d she call now? No reason for her to call now.

After what felt like 10 years, the phone silenced. The knot in his stomach eased somewhat and after he promised himself to tear the phone out the wall as soon as the sun rose he walked over to the cabinet and peeked inside.

“Thank you, kids,” he mumbled at the welcomed sight. He grabbed same bottles at random and brought them back to the couch. But before he got the chance to flop down on his ass-print the phone went off again.

“Oh, fuck me,” he wheezed.

Who called him at three in the morning? No, strike that. Who called him, period?

Sweat trickled down his sides in never-ending streams. The sound played on his nerve strings like a violin. It was the wasp all over again because the caller, whoever it was, didn’t give up. Refused to stop until he did something about it.

A hundred whispered insults spilled over Haymitch’s lips as he pulled on his shoes.

He hadn’t seen the inside of his house in months. The last time he was here had been a fucking nightmare. Broken furniture, broken everything.

The long, hard signals cut through the stillness like a knife.

It’s not her.

He picked up the phone and the blare of music nearly ripped her ear drum. He held the thing a meter away.

“Hello?” someone called. “Helloo?”

He brought the phone closer.

“Who is this?”

“Well, hi to you too!” the person laughed. It was a woman’s voice. One he recognized, only he couldn’t quite place it. From the Capitol at least. “How’s the bachelor’s life treating you, Haycock?” the stranger woman asked. When he didn’t answer she went on, “It’s me, Gloria! Gloria Highgrass. We met at Octavia’s birthday party, remember? Yellow dress. Good-for-nothing cousin by my side.”

Haymitch drew a silent sigh. Of course.

“Where you’ve been hiding, hm?” she asked. ”Haven’t seen you in a while. Finally tired of your afternoon delight?”

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself.”

“Oh,” Gloria chuckled. “You kiss your bottle with that mouth? What would Effie said?”

Her words drew giggles. Clearly, they had an audience and he was just about to slam the phone down when she said,

“I just saw her, that little cock-warmer of yours. And between you and me: I don’t blame you for leaving. What a mess, haha! You screwed her up good, Haycock! She’s so unfuckable now! Well done, sir. Well done.”

And her brilliant laughter hammered his head.

“Do you know we all placed bets on how long the two of you would last? It’s true! You cost me a fortune, Haycock! You guys stuck it out way longer than I thought. And then my useless cousin told me about your little scene at the train station. ‘Get your shit together’ and all that. God, I wish I was there!”

She had a sip of something and then rallied on,

”You wanna know what I think? I think she planned the whole thing. So you’d never leave her. Too bad she forgot that district scum scurry off like cockroaches once the light’s on. Well, she’s paying for it now, isn’t she? How’d she tell you? Before or after you cleared out?”

It was a wonder the phone didn’t break in Haymitch’s fist. He could hardly breathe, that’s how furious he was. But he refused to give this woman the satisfaction of him losing his temper.

“Hey, lady,” he said, in a very measured voice. “If you know something about Effie, spit it out. Or else you can just stop wasting my time and go back to your pathetic little life.”

That finally silenced her. For about three seconds.

”You don’t know?” she said. “You kidding me? He doesn’t know!”

And everyone on the other end broke down in hysterical laughter. Gloria contained hers just long enough to say,

”Come back to the Capitol, Haycock! See for yourself!”

And she slammed the phone in his ear.

He couldn’t stand another second in this place. Her things may be gone but he still felt Effie’s presence in every corner of the house. Like fumes slowly killing you.

He didn’t realize how much his hands trembled until he was back on the couch. He balled them into fists.

The nerve of that woman! “Come see for yourself.” The hell’s that supposed to mean?

He needed a drink. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and tipped the first bottle he found in to his mouth, again and again until he came up choking.

The liquor numbed his worries like they numbed everything else.

“You screwed her up good.” Yeah, that’s likely. He didn’t fancy himself being important enough to lose even a minute’s sleep over.

Maybe so. But you’re not the only bad thing that’s happened to her. Remember?

“She’s fine,” he told the empty room. “Just fine.” Probably thrived now that she didn’t have to deal with him anymore. That low-life Gloria Highgrass was just fucking with his head. She wanted to cause a spectacle, get some gossip material, that’s all.

If Effie was in any kind of need all she had to do was pick up the phone and call him.

Besides, wasn’t like she kept in touch to see how he was fairing. It was damn clear she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. And if she didn’t care, why should he?

Yeah, he thought and reached for the next bottle. Let her deal with her own demons.

xXx

If Haymitch thought he was the only one up he was wrong. Katniss slept a deep slumber for once but all the creaks and groans coming from the floorboards downstairs finally wormed their way into Peeta’s dreams until he flinched awake.

The room burned with morning light. Peeta’s heart pounded in his chest but he remained still so as not to disturb Katniss while he listened to the sounds below.

It wasn’t the first time Haymitch “ghosted the halls”. Peeta remembered it especially well from their train rides together and back at the penthouse during the Games.

Sometimes it seemed like Haymitch just couldn’t stand to remain in the same place, locked inside his own head. And that’s when he stalked from room to room, aimlessly. Like a bear in a cage. Well, a bear with a bottle in its paw.

No, it wasn’t the first time but it was the first time in a while. And he used to go to bed with the sun so what was he still doing up?

At least with Haymitch on the couch, you knew where you had him. Finally Peeta carefully extracted himself from Katniss and slipped out of bed, just to check on him. That wouldn’t be a first either.

He reached the foot of the stairs just as Haymitch returned in to the living room, surprisingly sober. Sobered up. He sunk down on the couch, elbows on his knees. He never noticed Peeta. His eyes were squarely focused on something in his hands.

Peeta couldn’t tell what it was at first but then Haymitch shifted it over and the penny suddenly dropped.

It was a paper goose. The paper goose. He knew it well because it used to sit on the window sill back in his studio. Haymitch must have ventured inside and stumbled upon it by co-incidence.

Effie’s paper goose. Well, Haymitch’s really since she gave it to him.

Peeta remembered the day she made it. It was the summer Haymitch had brought her here after the over-dose.

She had one of her good days and joined them for breakfast in the studio. He painted, Katniss ate cheese buns, Haymitch doodled a horrible caricature of Effie and in exchange she made him this little origami creature.

A good day in an ocean of bad ones.

Shortly after, the night terrors sent her in a down-ward spiral again and just to keep her from clocking out Haymitch said he thought about getting some geese. What’d she think?

The idea probably originated from Chaff. Eleven’s victor loved everything made from the bird. Roast goose and buttered potatoes, corned goose hash, fried eggs with mushrooms.

Those were the dishes he ordered at the training centre before the third Quarter Quell and if memory didn’t deceive Peeta he even told Caesar Flickerman after he was crowned victor, that he liked to raise geese once he returned to District Eleven.

Now he never really got that idea off the table. Instead, Haymitch did. Well, sort of. None of his birds had ever wound up on a plate.

In any case, Peeta bet the whole ”let’s go to Eleven” adventure wasn’t motivated by some great desire to buy geese. That’s just what Haymitch had her believe. Because for whatever reason Effie lived up a little whenever she got to plan things. It gave her a sense of control.

It was slick how he played it. Made her think “This will be good for Haymitch” when really it was “good for Effie”. Something to keep her mind occupied. His own way to try and coax her out of her depression.

A hundred memories drenched up by one paper bird. That’s what Peeta witnessed this very moment. Haymitch could have crushed it easily. Just made a fist and tossed it on the fire. He tossed everything else that even vaguely reminded him of her.

He didn’t. The way he held it, you’d think it was one of his goslings and he had a look on his face that would not have been there, had he known someone was watching.

“Morning,” Katniss yawned as she walked in to the kitchen, hours later. Peeta stood by the stove, quietly pouring hot water through the tea leaves. She reached for the jug of orange juice to set it on the table. “Where’s Haymitch at? I didn’t see him.”

“On the train.”

Katniss stopped, eyebrows lifted.

“You sure?”

In answer, he pointed at the table and she discovered the note, jotted down on a scrap of paper.

I’m gonna go see Effie. Call her and tell her I’m coming, OK? Thanks.

“You talked to her? What’d she say? What?” she asked at the look on Peeta’s face.

“I tried, for about an hour,” he said. “I can’t get through. The phone’s disconnected.”

xXx

Gem of Panem Mighty city Through the ages, you shine anew

Intertwined with their laughter, the Capitol anthem echoed around the deserted city. Morning light stretched their shadows into four giants as they walked down the street, arm-in-arm. Their makeup was smeared, the flowers in their outfits drooping. All evidence of what a smash hit the night had been!

We humbly kneel To your ideal And pledge our love to you!

Coriana’s voice rose highest of them all, the only member in their quartet who could hit all the high notes, drunk or sober, but they all joined in just as merrily with the voice they had.

Gem of Panem Heart of justice Wisdom crowns your marble brow

It felt good, comforting, to chant the age old verses of their childhood. The real anthem of Panem. The politically correct atrocity Paylor whipped together didn’t hold a candle to it!

You give us light You reunite To you we make our vow

Tipsy to say the least, Priscilla wobbled dangerously in her sky-high heels but each time she careened to far to the left, they steered her right again with many giggles and “Oopsy-daisy!”

Gem of Panem Seat of power Strength in peacetime, shield in strife

“Oh, this is my favorite part!” warbled Imogen who couldn’t carry a tune with a gun to her head.

Protect our land With armored hand Our Capitol, our…

Lancer gasped, mid-through the final crescendo. Linked with the others he almost toppled them over at sudden halt.

“My gracious!” he said. “It’s Haymitch Abernathy!”

Up ahead, a man had just appeared round a corner. Ruffled clothes, hair hanging forward, everything about him completely out of place here. He paid them no attention but it was him, without a doubt. The drunken traitor of District 12.

“You heard about him and Effie Trinket, right?” Imogen asked in a loud whisper.

“Of course we heard,” said Coriana. “The whole town knows.”

“Ugh. Just look at him.” Priscilla wrinkled her nose. “At least on television he dressed decently. Disgusting!”

“She’s the one who’s disgusting,” Lancer said and pursed his lips. “He’s district. What did you expect? But a Capitolian really should know better.”

“I would jump off a cliff if it was me!”

“It could never be you, Imogen, the very thought!” said Coriana. “What’s he doing here again? Flaunting himself on our streets after what he did. What they did!”

If Haymitch heard them he didn’t show it and he didn’t change his course. When they remained shoulder to shoulder, gawking at him he sawed right through them like they were a flock of pigeons and they jumped apart with furious cries.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” Priscilla shouted to his back. “I really think you should!”

Those four weren’t the only ones who questioned what Haymitch was doing in the Capitol. Had there been one positive consequence of him and Effie breaking up it was that he would never have to see this place again.

Well, the joke’s on him.

She’s not back on pills, he told himself as he kicked a squashed ice cream cup far up the street. She promised she wouldn’t go down that road again.

The train ride was hell on earth. Throughout the long hours he failed to quiet his mind, to shake off his worries over Glorias’s words and why he couldn’t get a call through to Effie. Just thinking about their impending reunion made him sick, until he finally caved in to the bottles in his duffel.

Ironically, the one thing that stopped him from drinking himself completely senseless was the paper goose, now hitching a ride in his pocket. It helped him focus.

Walking the deserted avenues, through glitter and serpentines left from some party only reminded him of the first time he came here unannounced.

Little Ms. Hypocrite. She was one to talk about having someone almost die in your arms.

But she’s not back on pills.

The brightness of the sun reflected in the candy buildings, the lush public gardens alive with bird song, the bounty flowerbeds, the gushing fountains. It was like the Capitol mocked him with its splendor. Days like this were Effie’s favourites.

And there her building was. He saw it over the roof tops, windows reflecting bits of the blue sky. With a grimace, Haymitch slowed his steps like he’d run out of gas. Fuck it. He needed a drink. One more or less, what did it matter? He wasn’t going to stay here long anyway.

He was still struggling to close the zipper as he entered her street, her curb. He pulled the straps over his shoulder, about to give the door a knock.

And he just stared. Dumb-founded, for half a minute or more. Gaped at her front door, like the gaggle of fools he passed earlier.

No, no this can’t be right, he thought, unable to take in what his eyes were telling him. It’s gotta be a mistake.

The name plate on Effie’s door was gone. The window shutters were all closed. He turned the handle. It wouldn’t budge. He rang the bell. He knocked, pounded rather. No one opened. The place was completely dead.

But it made no sense! Effie had lived in this apartment almost all her life!

He walked over to the windows, shielded his eyes from the sunlight as he tried to peer through the shutters for any movements inside.

“Eff?”

He returned to the door, raised his hand for another knock.

“She’s not here,” a voice rung out.

He turned at the sound. On the other side of the road, just across from him, stood an old lady. The same dry twig of a woman he’d seen twice before. At least twice.

“Mr. Abernathy,” she said. The sun glinted off the gem stones in her wrinkled cheeks. Her mouth was pressed into a thin line. “Didn’t think I would ever see you here again.”

He crossed the road.

“The hell’s going on here? Where’s Effie?”

The woman’s pale green eyes pierced his. She had to lift her chin to do it. Just like Sae she barely cleared his shoulders but that’s where the similarities ended. Because this woman’s eyes held none of her warmth or gaiety.

And yet, behind the frost he noticed that same sadness he’d seen there before. Only not for him.

“I warned her”, she said. “I told her from the very beginning not to get involved with someone like you. A man who would give her nothing but heartache. But she never heeded my advice. She didn’t want to listen.”

“Here’s an idea,” Haymitch cut her off. “How ‘bout you quit playing games with me and tell me what you know.”

“I blame myself,” the woman continued, unfazed by the interruption. “I insisted she applied for an escortship. If she became an architect like she first wanted, she wouldn’t be where she is now. Maybe none of us would.”

“Who are you?” Haymitch demanded. “What’s your name?”

“Mrs. Quinlan.”

Quinlan? He had definitely heard that name before. Nothing Games related, at least he didn’t think so. No, Effie had mentioned her at some point. Yeah, at the hospital, after her rescue. She asked if she was still alive. If she was safe.

Mrs. Q.

“You’re Eff’s landlady.”

The woman shook her head.

“Not anymore.”

“Because you kicked her out.”

“She’s beyond my help,” Mrs. Quinlan said. “Euphemia was a good girl, Mr. Abernathy. A good daughter. I have wept blood for her sake but I never gave up on her. Even after the war. She got one last chance to make amends. To build up a life for herself that she could be proud of. And she went and threw it all away the moment she decided to keep your young.”

Haymitch heard the words, loud and clear, but it was like he couldn’t absorb them. Make sense of what she just said.

It was like when he was little and broke his arm, falling down a tree. They all saw it was broken but it didn’t hurt. Not straight away. Like the shock was so great nothing registered.

“’Keep my young?’ he rasped. Heat rose up his throat and face until it burned. “What do you mean ‘keep my young’?”

For the first time, a flicker of surprise registered on Mrs. Quinlan’s face.

“Where is she?” He didn’t think his voice would carry at all. Instead it echoed around the buildings. “If not here, where’s she staying?”

“Go home, Mr Abernathy,” she said. “You have done enough damage as it is.”

“If you don’t want me to wake the entire neighborhood, you tell me where she is!”

Sleepy heads already poked out windows at the commotion. There were murmurs, curious looks thrown their way. Mrs. Quinlan’s lips pressed into the same tight line.

“She moved in with Caesar Flickerman’s daughter. I assume I don’t have to tell you which one.”

xXx

The bearded dragon slumped on her favorite spot in the vivarium - a gnarled old tree root and basked in the warm rays slanting through the windows.

When they first got her she fitted in your pocket. Now they had to use both hands to carry her properly. Sandy yellow and with a look on her face like “you’re all beneath me” you’d think she was the distant cousin of a certain District 12 cat but it was only an illusion.

“Hey, you,” June said and slipped a hand inside the enclosure, knuckles down, fingers outstretched in an inviting gesture. The reptile crawled down the root and over to her. June gave her a soft scratch under the spiky chin and the animal climbed up her palm.

Annabel sat by the secretary desk, her tea long cold and forgotten, but when June passed, she took the time petting their dragon before she returned to her letter. She eyed what she’d just written, critically and gave a deep sigh.

“They won’t even…”

“They will,” said June. She had settled on the couch with the dragon on her lap. The animal closed her eyes under the soft strokes.

It had been a quiet, docile morning with just the occasional car passing by and the gentle scratch of pen against paper.

“The crates should arrive today,” said June and reached for her own cup of tea.

Right on cue the bell rang.

“Speaking of the devil,” said Annabel. She set the pen down and slowly and painfully flexed her fingers.

It rang again, on her way through the hallway.

“Coming!” She pulled her hair back in a hasty pony tail. A shadow moved behind the frosted glass. She took the chain off the door.

And came face to face with the victor of District 12.

”Mr. Abernathy,” she said, eyebrows lifted. “I…”

He didn’t let her finish.

”Effie,” he said. His face was a deep red. “She here?”

“Bel?” June’s voice fluttered in from the living room.

“Is she here?” Haymitch repeated, the fury behind the words only barely contained. “Never mind that. I know she is.”

“She’s here, Mr. Abernathy,” said Annabel.

That’s all he needed. He pushed past her.

“Eff?” he called as he stalked into the living room. June had risen, face white as paper. The dragon’s tail flailed between her cupped hands at the sudden alarm.

Annabel had followed inside and he turned on her again.

“I know all about it,” he spat. She could smell the hard liquor fumes on him. June quickly set the reptile back in the safety of the vivarium. “I know she’s pregnant so don’t try and lie to me!”

“I’m not lying to you.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s resting.”

“Well, go and wake her up!”

“Mr. Abernathy,” she said, voice suddenly firm. “You will not shout in my house.”

“I don’t care! She thought she can just have my kid and never tell me? Who the hell does she think she is!? I wanna talk to her. Give her a piece of my mind!”

“Not until you’ve calmed down!”

“The hell with you! I’ll go find her myself.”

He turned for the door but she was right at his heel.

“Stop it!” June cried when Haymitch shoved Annabel’s hand off of him. The tea cup knocked over and crashed against the floor. The dragon ran frantically around in its cage. “Stop!”

“Get your fucking hands off me!”

“Haymitch, what are you doing!?”

Her cry made them all turn. Flushed and out of breath from the rush and alarm Effie stood in the doorway, a robe carelessly thrown over her nightdress. Her eyes locked on his, for the first time in months and the words choked in his throat. It was like the rest of the room and everyone in it just disappeared. Everyone but Effie.

And through the blood pounding in his head he could make only one coherent thought.

What have I done to her?

xXx

“I’ll be in the back if you need anything,” Annabel said as she swept up the last of the broken cup. A spitting mad June had already retreated to their bedroom, carrying the dragon with her and now Annabel went as well, leaving Haymitch and Effie to talk in private.

Not that Haymitch looked like he’d ever speak again. He hunkered in the armchair with his arms crossed over his chest. Effie sat on the couch but they could just as well be light years apart.

“Who told you?” she asked in a hushed voice.

”Does it matter?” He wasn’t yelling now. Wouldn’t even look at her. He seemed to have aged ten years in the past half hour.

“No,” said Effie. “No, I suppose not.”

She had a blanket draped over herself. Like that was going to hide anything.

“I thought you were on the pill?”

“I was.”

“Time and money you could’ve saved, clearly,” he said through gritted teeth. “And the whole Capitol knows I’m the father?”

“Yes,” she said quietly. “I wanted to tell you.”

“So why didn’t you? If you have my kid rolling around in your tummy I deserve to know about it, don’t you think?”

When she didn’t answer straight away his eyes darted to her face. And his insides contracted all over again as cold panic flooded his limbs.

“What, Eff?”

”It’s...” Her voice faltered. “We’re not...”

“We’re what?”

He saw his own anxiety mirrored in her eyes. She placed her hand against her stomach and his throat closed up. Because he knew the truth before she said it.

No! No, I don’t wanna hear it!

”It’s two,” she said. “Haymitch, I’m so sorry you had to find out this way. I didn’t…”

But Haymitch had already heaved himself to his feet. He wanted to throw up. He would throw up.

“I can’t do this.”

”Wait,” she said but he didn’t look at her. Couldn’t look at her and her big stomach.

”I need some air.”

xXx

“Good afternoon, Mathilda,” Mr. Bumble smiled when he crossed her door. His elegant, twirled up mustache was dyed a dusk pink today, the same color as the lap dog, freezing at his feet.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Bumble,” Mrs. Quinlan said, hoping he would pick up on the very inappropriate use of her first name.

He didn’t.

“I’d stay and chat,” he said, “but Helga is waiting for us.” And he gave his bouquet of blue roses a little wave. “It’s our anniversary, you know! 25 years!”

“How wonderful. Give her my best,” Mrs. Quinlan said mechanically as he trotted off down the street. If Helga was home or even remembered what day it was, she would eat up her hat.

She dropped the key in to her handbag and crossed the road, mindful of any ice patches hidden under the fresh snow.

The door was locked but that she only expected. So she slipped her hand into her handbag and got out different set of keys. Normally she took pride in not using them but the girl had sounded very off on the phone. Sad.

“Euphemia?” she said as she stepped inside. The flat was dark but she turned the lights on as she went. She knew her way around this apartment, almost as well as her own. “Euphemia, where are you?”

She heard noises from the master bedroom. Retches that led her straight for the adjoined bathroom.

Effie’s nightgown clung to her with sweat. Slumped down on her knees, she clutched the toilet seat as she threw up. Tears and perspiration rolled down her face from the ordeal.

She didn’t hear anyone come in. That way she never saw the complete and utter shock on Mrs. Quinlan’s face. But she quickly composed herself again.

“Euphemia.”

Effie looked up, startled.

“Oh”, she groaned. She was pale as a sheet, her eyes wet and red. “Mrs. Q, now’s… not a good time.”

And she disappeared inside the bowl again as the next wave rolled in.

Mrs. Quinlan didn’t say anything. She just pulled up a stool and seated herself. She gathered Effie’s hair with one hand and held it back from her face until the worst was over.

When Effie grew still, head heavy against her arms, just heaving breaths of both exhaustion and relief Mrs. Quinlan reached for a towel.

“Here,” she said and soaked it under the faucet. “Clean yourself.”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Q,” Effie mumbled and dabbed her mouth with it. She felt Mrs. Quinlan’s eyes on her and tried to elude them by wiping the tears off her cheeks. “I am not quite myself today.”

“Euphemia.”

“Must be something I ate.”

“Euphemia, look at me, please.”

With an enormous effort, Effie lifted her head. She swallowed and swallowed. The color of her face had returned, from barely holding it together.

“Are you with child?”

Those words did it. It was like a dam broke. Effie buried her face against her babysitter’s lap and now they came. All those pent-up tears she hadn’t been able to shed since that awful day with Haymitch on the train station.

Mrs. Quinlan’s face was taut as a string.

”There now,” she murmured and stroked Effie’s hair. ”You will be alright. It’s going to be just fine.”

Effie soaked Mrs. Quinlan’s skirt with her sobs and it was like she was little again.

She’d been four or five and accidentally knocked over a vase. Everything in Mrs. Quinlan’s apartment was either ancient or valuable or both and little Effie stared in horror at the broken pierces. Finally she ran off and hid.

For the next half-hour Mrs. Quinlan had to go from room to room and from closet to closet, peer inside the cupboards and behind every thick curtain, calling her name. When she finally found her in the laundry basket Effie was so terror-struck she burst in to a wail of tears.

But Mrs. Q just scoped her up, pulled a dirty child sock off the side of her dress and carried her into the living room. With her skinny arms linked around Mrs. Q’s neck Effie sniveled and whimpered the entire time, her little body racked with sobs.

Mrs. Q. wrapped her in one of her own shawls that smelled of perfume and to the rhythm of the creaky old rocking chair, she hummed her to sleep with a Capitol lullaby.

She had never felt so safe.

“Why don’t you take a shower, Euphemia,” Mrs. Quinlan said once Effie’s sobs had subsided a little. She patted her hand between her own icy ones. “And then you and I will have a cup of nice, hot tea.”

“Oh, that is awfully sweet, mrs. Q, but I think I rather,” she started to object but Mrs. Quinlan only waved a finger in the air.

“It will do you some good,” she said. “Tea at my place, four o’clock.”

Effie had avoided Mrs. Quinlan’s flat for the past almost two years. She had spent a great deal of her childhood in the company of her landlady when mother and father couldn’t or wouldn’t take their daughter with them to one of their events.

But these days there was only one subject Mrs. Q wanted to discuss when they met and Effie found herself coming up with excuses. Because it didn’t matter how many times she tried to change the subject, Mrs. Q always steered the conversation back on the same sole topic.

Haymitch Abernathy.

Effie never talked about her and Haymitch’s relationship. Not with Mrs. Q or anyone else. But living just across the road, Mrs. Quinlan seemed to know everything anyway.

She didn’t approve. She never liked the gruff and unrefined victor of District 12 and nothing could change her mind.

She just didn’t understand. How could she? No one in the Capitol did.

“How far along are you?” she asked and poured them tea from the plump china pot. Effie tried to breathe through her nose. Just thinking about ingesting something made her queasy.

“Nine weeks.”

“Have you told him yet? Are you sure it’s his?”

“Mrs. Quinlan,” said Effie tiredly. “We’ve been through this. I’m sorry, but it’s private and really no one else’s business.”

“So, I take that as a yes,” she said mildly.

Exhausted, Effie’s eyes wandered longingly to the snow-specked window beyond Mrs. Q.

“He should have taken precautions,” the old woman said. “The situation he puts you in.”

”It wasn’t his fault,” said Effie. ”It just… happened.”

Mrs. Quinlan poured cream into her cup but Effie didn’t touch it. All she really wanted was to lie down.

There were cookies rounded up on the silvery cake stand. The frosting wasn’t like Peeta’s. Not nearly as nice but looking at them only reminded her of those lazy days in District 12 and Haymitch, teasing her for having such a sweet-tooth.

”Drink now,” said Mrs. Quinlan. “Add a little honey. Or would you rather I put some ginger in? It helps with the nausea.”

“No, it’s OK.”

Effie lifted the cup just to humor her. She was about to take a sip when the warm scent curled into her nose. A crease appeared between her eyebrows.

Mrs. Quinlan didn’t like surprises. Her routines had been virtually unchanged for the past decades. She washed her hands with the same kind of rose soap, combed her hair with the ivory comb that had survived two wars and she always drank jasmine tea.

This wasn’t jasmine tea. Effie should know. After all those tea parties at this very table, the flowery aroma was forever ingrained in her memory. She took another tentative sniff of the strange and unfamiliar fragrance.

It had a faint minty quality but not quite like the mint tea in District 12. She doubted she ever had it in the Capitol either. And yet the smell tugged at her, tried to tell her something.

Her eyes flitted to Mrs. Quinlan. The old woman stirred her own cup in slow, precise circles. The silver spoon rasped the bottom of the china. A cup she had yet to touch.

And a wave of dread flushed Effie’s face when the name surfaced.

”It’s pennyroyal.”

Mrs. Quinlan looked her in the eye. Her face was as hard and unyielding as the gems in her cheeks.

”You should never have let him into your bed.”

The beverage scalded Effie’s hands when she pushed back from the table. She stared at Mrs. Quinlan, eyes wide in terror.

”It’s for your own good, Euphemia. Nobody ever needs to know. It will be like it never happened.”

Effie didn’t stay to hear the rest. She fled the room, didn’t bother with her coat just bolted for the door. Her hands shook so badly she couldn’t work the locks and one terrible moment she thought herself trapped.

Footsteps approached or she imagined they did and a shriek escaped her lips. Then the door flew open and she staggered out into the sleet.

Blood pounded her ears as she locked her front door, fled into her bedroom and locked that door as well. She was shaking all over and slumped rather than sat down on the bed, hand clamped over her mouth.

I didn’t drink it. I never drank it.

Her vision was so blurred it took her three efforts to dial the right number. Her hand found her tummy and she tried to draw slow, deep breaths to calm the erratic beating of her heart.

”It’s OK,” she whispered to the unborn baby in her belly. ”It’s OK. You’re OK.”

So many signals just came and went, her hopes faltered with each one. Until,

“What?”

A sob slipped between her lips at the sound of his voice. She couldn’t help it. Her palm remained against her bump that wasn’t even a bump yet. Just a slight swelling beneath her dress. It made her feel stronger.

”Haymitch?” She fought to keep her voice steady. ”Haymitch, it’s me.”

“Ah, there she is,” he said with the nasty edge that sometimes crept into his voice when he drank, especially now under these circumstances. “Long time no princess. What can you want?”

“I’m sorry. I know I should have called you a long time ago.”

“Oh, I remember that voice. Effs Trinket needs a shoulder to cry on, huh? So she goes to good ol’ Haymitch. Course.” She heard him take a swig from a bottle. “It’s too bad mine’re all the way down here, then. Both of ‘em.”

“I can take the train.” Tears threatened to spill over her lashes but she held them back. Didn’t want to break down in to a blubbering mess. ”If I go now I ought to be…”

“Here in a day. Yeah. And I’m supposed to just welcome you with open arms?”

“Haymitch…”

“That’s my name.”

“I really must speak to you. It’s im…”

“What for?” he cut her off. “I’m a dead-end drunk, remember?”

“I’ve never called…”

“No, that’s right. Your words were much fancier.”

A wave of despair rose up within Effie. It was like a physical pain.

“I know you’re angry,” she said. ”This is not easy for me either but…”

“I’m fine, sweetheart. Just fine. Can’t ruin a life that’s already ruined, right? I s’pose you want all your crap back? Yeah, the kids have it. They think you’re gonna come back, you know. ‘When hell freezes over’, am I right? But you know Peeta. I’ll just tell ‘em to send it over straight away so you never have to set your foot here ever again. Great, huh?”

“You left me, Haymitch!” Effie cried and her voice broke. “I didn’t want you to go! I didn’t want it to end!”

“Could’ve fooled me.” He twisted the top of another bottle. “And don’t you worry your pretty head, sweetheart. You’ll get over it. Trust me. Soon you’re gonna find some nice, wholesome guy who does exactly what he’s told. It’ll be all: ‘Yes, Euphemia. No, Euphemia. Whatever you say, Eu…’”

“Don’t call me that!” she cried at the sound of Mrs. Quinlan’s name for her. “Haymitch, please!” She didn’t care that she begged now, hand clutched against her stomach like she could somehow protect it that way. ”Mrs. Q, she… she tried to… I need you! If you care about me at all…”

“Oh, I cared about you,” Haymitch said. “A lot. More than a lot. Should’ve fucking known better. So why don’t you call Plutarch or Octavia or any other of your friends and just leave me alone. Cause I owe you nothing. Nothing at all.”

Tears rolled down Effie’s face and she abandoned all efforts to try and stop them.

“I’m so stupid.”

“Have a wonderful life, Eff. I’m sure you’re gonna be deliriously happy.”

And she was left with just the flat audio tone.

Author’s note: I don’t know who I feel the most sorry for. Haymitch or Effie. How about you? And hayffie twins are on the way!

What did you think of Mathilda Quinlan? I face claim Geraldine Chaplin for her, the way she looked when she played Aurora in “The Orphanage”.

#hayffie #everlark #haymitch x effie #taste of strawberries fanfic #thg #post-mockingjay #haymitch abernathy #effie trinket #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #fanfiction #myfanfiction #district 12 #the capitol

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