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fetish-fiction · 6 months

Text

Something different again... funnel feeding leads to rapid wg.

You hop on to the bed wearing the oversized clothes I had made you put on. They were about 6 sizes too big, even your podgy body didn't come close to filling them out. The shirt was like one giant sheet of material hanging off you and the shorts were so large you needed to bunch them up at the sides and hold them to keep them from falling down. You could barely imagine the size someone would need to be to fit these things.

I had put some pillows down at the head of the bed to make you comfortable for what was to come. Lay down, I tell you, and you relax into the soft cushioning. Your lips are soon parted by the funnel I had ready and waiting. As soon as the first drops of smooth, creamy, fatty, chocolatey liquid passes your lips and slides down your throat you feel a gurgling and a pressure in your stomach.

As you continue to swallow your limbs start to feel all tingly. From where you're laying you can see past the funnel to notice the oversize shirt starting to shift a little where your belly is. You think it might be sticking up a little more there, but how? You've only had a few mouthfuls. By the time the funnel is empty your belly has definitely expanded significantly, and you arms and legs both feel more hefty too.

Just as soon as you catch your breath, more of that incredible liquid is being forced down your throat. Your weight gain seems to be progressing even faster now. The loose folds of the shirt are shifting, beginning to be taken up by your rapidly growing belly. And the shorts are quickly loosing what looseness they once had, your waistline becoming enormous.. you can feel your ass thickening and widening with fat underneath you, feel your hips ballooning outwards just as fast as your belly is. You feel so incredibly large and soft and only becoming more so. The feeling is ambrosial, you never want to stop sucking down this fattening elixer.

The next batch of slop is poured into the funnel straight away, your expansion unrelenting. You look down to see the clothes you once thought gigantic starting to be completely filled by your ever growing blimp of a body. Soon your fat is starting to strain against the fabric. The arms of the shirt are restricting your now fat flabby upper arms, the buttons almost ripping apart by your mountainous belly and massive tits. The waistband of the shorts has disappeared beneath your overflowing gut but you can feel it constricting your middle, and feel an enlarged fupa squished up against the crotch of the fabric, teasing you. The short legs can barely contain the huge thunderous rolls of cellulite that are now your thighs. The next glup sends you over the edge.

All at once the clothes give way. Buttons fly across the room as your corpulence floods out of its fabric container. Seams rip on the shorts, your lard is only covered now by tattered rags, barely hiding any of your massive mounds of flesh. You are now almost as wide as the bed and must weight at least 700lbs. A few slurps left and you've finally finished it. It's morphed you utterly.

The shirt that once was comically large is now ripped apart and dwarfed by your obesity, covering none of you. Your tits are now splayed as sacks of fat across and out to the sides, pushed apart by your belly that you have no chance of seeing over. If you could, you would see that it spreads over the bed like a pillow, drooping jiggly and soft over your body to the edges of the bed and over your massive fupa, between which is lodged the remnants of your shorts. In your morbidly obese state you have no hope of dislodging them by yourself....

#rapid weight gain #torn clothes #funnel feeding

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kaeyx · 7 months

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Seeing the talk about cat boys and the few mentions of Atsushi being a regular catboy is crazy because that man is already a tiger catboy and everyone is sleeping on the concept of a feral little catboy. he’s only sweet in personality even if he never intents to be mean or scary. Like I think he’s have sharp claws and sandpaper tongue and sharp yellow eyes that make people weary to approach him even if he tries his hardest to play nice and hide them. He chuffs (tigers can’t purr) and full body rubs against you when he’s happy and content and wants to show you he loves you. He doesn’t need to do anything but bare his teeth and claws (barely even hisses, it’s that effective) at someone else when they make either of you uncomfortable or he gets jealous that they’re getting to close. They do say tigers are solitary animals so perhaps he is happy with just you and a few other dear ones in his life. He naps most of the time under the sun or under the bed (warm places) but he loses all fatigue when he hears the door open and sees you walk in after a long day. Sometimes he scares the shit out of you when you look into a dark hallways and see bright yellow eyes glowing the dark.

He hates wearing clothes cause he’s so much more sensitive and the clothes are itchy so you buy him very very soft and often sheer clothes that do little to hide his cute, fat little peach and thick thighs, soft nipples poking through the fabric and pretty cock on display. I really can’t decide if I want him to be hung like a horse and more than capable of rearranging a few of your organs, or have a cute little cock (or a pretty little tdick!!!) that you can play with or slap or ignore when Fucking him with a huge monster strap with an equally huge knot at the base. Maybe a huge cock that you use to a replica dildo, telling him how he’s getting fucked by his own cock and asking him if he’s enjoying being bred like a bitch in heat. His heats are unbearable and he has a whole collection of toys he needs to make it easy on you. Tons of unrealistically huge toys he loves to fuck himself on (that you’re sure would kill someone if they weren’t atsushi) and plug himself with cause he hates being empty. Many princess fat princess plugs and vibrators and fleshlights to use when you’re too busy or when you’re too tired and need s break.

N knee ways, I think he’d be a monster in bed but too in love and too sweet to go loose fully. Or at least not for a long time. He loses himself once in a while when he’s too stressed and lost in the sauce, claws scraping and slicing against skin, fangs digging themselves anywhere they can, and cock bruising your insides from how hard he’s fucking you. It would be so so easy for him to crush and kill you if he’s not careful with it. You will be a walking bruise when he comes back to it and apologizes so much. Licks you up with his tongue and if you want, licks all his cum out of you. Body incredibly physically strong despite being deceptively slender or covered in soft muscle and fat. If he’s feeling bratty or needy he uses it against you—holding you down and laying on top of you or making you late to work. Will even fuck you hard enough you can’t walk the next few days. If you have a cock it will feel like it’s going to fall off. It’s hard to punish him though, he’s always trying to be so good and only does what he does as a last resort measure. Also because overstim is a reward (never ending stamina and stupidly small refractory period) and edging/denial doesn’t work for long when he hits you with those teary eyes and raspy whines.

Over all incredibly expensive, pretty dangerous, and difficult to own and have such a sweet sweet boy who loves you very much

Oh Anon I am obsessed with all of this.....thankyou.....

#asks.answered #atsushi.bsd #atsushi smut #atsushi x reader

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kitthepurplepotato · 1 year

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~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Chapter 2. Meet the Menace!

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New to the story? Start here! -> PART 1

About this chapter:

Genre: Comedy

Pairing: Platonic Kirishima x Reader (the main story is Bakugo x Reader!)

Warnings: Swear words, mentions of old injuries (not described)

Summary: Kirishima is an angel. His intentions were nothing but pure; to find his emotionally constipated bestie Katsuki a partner, but after meeting you on a job interview he decided that having someone entertain him and the team is more important than Bakugo’s well-being. Oh well, he really tried.

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Everyone loves Kirishima-kun.

Kirishima-kun is an angel.

He’s always the first one to arrive to the office, and he makes sure there is freshly brewed coffee ready for his grumpy ass colleagues, fresh cow milk and almond milk for them to choose from, and on his shopping days he always buys snackies for the staff room for everyone to munch on, even though he gets told off every time by Mr. Katsuki for making the fellow heroes “fat”.

Sometimes, Katsuki brings random veggies in and hides them between the cookies to make himself feel better about the massive amount of sugar in the room.

Needless to say, no one ever eats those veggies, mostly because they think it’s probably poisoned.

While it might look like Kirishima is nothing more than a fellow colleague in this massive office, he actually owns half of the agency.

It’s really hard to have any kind of power when your partner is Dynamight himself.

Katsuki is… a special kind of breed. Kirishima knows he shouldn’t be too harsh on his best friend but sometimes he thinks he’s not even a human.

If he is, he needs to get laid as soon as possible.

Katsuki is so emotionally constipated, it’s painful to watch. So Kirishima has a plan.

A really amazing, but slightly unprofessional plan.

Oh well, if he goes down, he wants to go down with style.

When Hanako-Chan came into his office to talk, Kirishima knew shit will go loose.

Hanako-Chan is the only person who never goes to Kirishima, as she is more than happy to consult with the grumpy one when it’s needed; for her to come to him meant nothing but trouble.

And oh boy, Kirishima can already see Katsuki’s tear-flooded eyes staring at him from his couch, the empty wine bottles around him all over the floor, spilling on his white, fluffy carpet. Katsuki might be emotionally constipated, but after a few big gulps of red wine he becomes an emotional, uncontrollable mess.

With that said, Katsuki is banned from drinking wine in front of anyone else but Kirishima.

It’s just… bad for the business.

Kirishima takes a deep breath and gets to work on his amazing plan; getting Katsuki the most badass assistant the world has ever seen.

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This is not what you wanted, but you will take what you get.

You are greeted by a lovely red haired man in his absolutely gorgeous hero costume, which is basically… well… his naked, toned upper body and some black trousers.

You might feel like it’s a tiny bit unprofessional, but who are you to tell your future boss what to do with his life?

You do you, Boo. - that’s your motto.

You sit down on the sofa in your fancy, super smart looking dress - you honestly can’t wait to go home and change into your favorite boots. You miss your comfy clothes and you really hope you’ll be able to wear whatever you want after you get hired.

Talking about getting hired…

“So let’s start this, shall we?” Says the red haired hero with a friendly smile on his cute face. You are not going to lie, while you understand why chicks (and dudes) love this guy so much, you are kinda sick of seeing his puppy face all over the place. He’s your best friend’s favorite, so there isn’t a single picture on the internet you haven’t seen.

He’s a nice chap though. You can always appreciate a man who doesn’t look at your cleavage, just because it’s visible. He is definitely a good bargain. You might need to do some meddling. You are kinda in a mood to go on a wedding anyway in a “I’m going to ruin your happiness because I’m lonely and sad” kinda way.

Hm, maybe ruining your best friend’s wedding isn’t the way to go though.

Wait, this is really not a good time to have this conversation with yourself. Red Riot is talking to you.

“So why did you choose our agency?”

No, saying “Number 1 Deku’s agency didn’t have a job available, neither did Number 3 Shouto who’s great to look at at least.” isn’t an answer.

Neither is “I’m bored”.

“My friend said a lot of nice things about this agency so I decided to give it a try.” You smile politely. It’s quite a vague answer but it’s still better than “my friend is obsessed with you so she made me apply.”

“Fair enough.” He smiles back at you. Even his eyes are smiling. He is definitely a cheesy romantic guy. Eww. “Your CV is amazing and I am really surprised to see you applying for the secretary job instead of being a side kick, or to be honest, you could just make your own agency with your experience. So what brings you here today, Y/N?”

Well. Time to rip that band-aid off. You don’t really like to talk about that terrible fight with a level S villain, but the truth is, you need to. You were known to be invincible as your quirk is basically being able to have any quirk you want for a certain amount of time and you can use multiple quirks at the same time if you really put your mind to it and concentrate. This is all nice and good but you are only a human and one mistake almost cost your life.

“I… I got seriously injured while trying to take down a group of villains back in my country.” You say, feeling so weak and pathetic already. “I’m not able to do hero work for at least a year as my body gets fed up after a few days of physical work, so I decided to move to Japan as it was always my dream to be here. My best friend is from Japan and I tend to visit her quite a lot anyway. She’s obsessed with the Japanese hero system, so obviously, I got curious about them too and what’s better that to work with them?”

You hope you sounded genuine, because to be honest… you were not.

Yes, you have all the respect for the heroes but you give zero F-cks about them. You hate how idolized these heroes are and while they are all good people to a certain degree; they save lives on a daily basis after all; being a hero and being a proper human being is two different things.

You are only here because you miss the adrenaline and you miss being able to help in one way or another. If you can’t do what you want to do, then do something for the people who can.

Goddamit, that sounds so dope, you should have said that in the first place!

You are so deep in your thoughts you don’t realize the frown on your face. Kirishima, the angel he is, clocks your uncomfortable mood right away.

Damn, you might not give this man to your bestie, he is a catch.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” Says the angel himself, remorse clearly written on his face.

“Oh, no, it’s absolutely not about that!” You say without hesitation. “I just made a really cool line in my head and I was furious I haven’t said it out loud.”

Jesus, you are such an idiot, it hurts.

“For the fuck’s sake, I didn’t mean to say that.”

Oh my god, please shut up.

“Oh fuck, sorry for swearing.”

This interview is definitely over.

“Aaaaaaand I just swore again. Great. I’m just…” You stand up from the sofa in the middle of your sentence. “I remember where the exit is, no need to escort me out. Thank you for your time and all that shit.”

For your absolute surprise, instead of the awkward silence you were expecting, loud laughter fills the room. The man is literally hyperventilating. Maybe you should call an ambulance, this man is having a seizure.

I mean, the situation is awkward enough to feel like you just want to die, so you can absolutely relate.

“Oh my god, you are absolutely hilarious.” Tears are falling from the man’s face, body scrunched up, he’s literally about loose his consciousness by the sound of his wheezing. “Is this your real self? Because if it is, you are hired. We will have so much fun having you around.” Says the crying redhead in front of you. This man has lost his marbles. “You two will be the funniest together, oh my god!”

His name shouldn’t be Red Riot.

RED FLAG suits him better. He is insane. You need to keep your bestie as far away as possible from this lunatic.

“Your sadistic thoughts are clearly written on your face Mister, behave yourself.” You giggle, shocking Mr. Kirishima with your pure honesty.

“Is it that obvious?” The readhead bites his lips to hide his cheeky smirk, unsuccessfully.

“If by obvious you mean it’s clear that you want your best friend to suffer miserably for your own entertainment, then yes, sir.”

“Well, first of all, it’s not just for MY entertainment. It’s for the team. And keep this a secret, will ya?” Your new boss winks at you with the biggest shit eating grin on his face.

“I’m more than happy to help. I’m a hero after all.” Comes your answer.

As you are about to leave with a new contract in your hand, your eyes find a big bowl of snackies on Kirishima’s desk. You don’t really understand the chocolate chip cookie x carrot sticks combo, but with a newly founded confidence you take a carrot out of the bowl and take a big bite out of it.

You have a fucking job. In Japan. Your boss is an absolute maniac, just like you.

This is definitely the best day of your life.

… Next Chapter

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Taglist: @ibkg @chuugarettes @lilmaimai

#bakugo x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #katsuki x reader #platonic kirishima x reader #kirishima x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x reader #bakugo x you #ShenanigansbyPurplePotato #mha x reader #bnha x reader

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donotpush · 1 year

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Birth Advent Calendar 22 - Day 6

Caio has always been on the fitness side of life. If there was something he took way much care of, it was his physique.

He was lucky, he was the prototype of a nice body: tall, naturally strong and always in shape despite the little effort.

So when he started gaining weight, all of sudden and apparently from nowhere, to say he was whining and huffing about it was an understatement.

It wasn't that noticeable at first; just his thighs becoming a little softer, his arms a bit more flappy instead of firm and toned, and then his abs slowly disappearing.

He wasn't even that mad about it at first, he still looked good with a few more kilograms than intended.

But then his stomach started to swell, even when he tried his hardest not to: he started a more than strict diet, worked out almost seven days a week and stopped drinking any kind of alcohol.

Still, that stubborn fat that now started to settle around his hips and stomach wasn't going away that easily.

And then the months went away, and the more he tried to get all that stubborn fat to go away, the more his body seemed to laugh at him and make it worse.

His clothes stopped fitting, and having to get new ones was the most embarrassing thing, and then the new ones stopped fitting and Caio simply lost it.

He could barely look down at his own feet without his belly getting in the way.

Sure, he maybe was eating a bit more, but not so much to make him look… almost pregnant.

His stomach, now so huge that it was barely covered by his usual shirts, rested usually naked in front of him.

At home, he was just shirtless. And when he had to go outside, he would try to wear loose shirts, big sweaters, anything that would hide the disaster his body became.

Too busy with all the dieting and all the exercise, not once did it cross his mind the night he spent with his co-worker eight months ago. A quick, raw meeting after work that had both of them too horny to care for protection.

Maybe the idea crossed his mind once or two, on this desperate journey of trying to get back in shape, but as soon as Caio thought about it, he pushed it far into the back of his mind.

He wasn't pregnant. And all that uncomfortable movement that came paired with the weight gain? Probably just some gas.

Caio lifted his leg on the couch with a groan, moving —as best as he could— to tie his shoes. Even the most simple of the task became almost impossible over the months with that unwanted belly.

Then the other foot. Once he was ready with both feet, he zipped up the only one of his Nike jackets that still fitted comfortably and made his way to the door.

He was stopped by one of those back pains that had been bothering him for the past few days.

"Fuck…" Caio groaned, his hand moving to massage his back when the cramp didn't go away.

He didn't feel like running today, in fact, he felt awful today.

His whole body ached, his feet were killing him and then there were the cramps and the back pain that had been bothering him so much these days.

But if there was something else Caio didn't lose in these months was his discipline. He wasn't one for skipping his days of workout, and he was gonna run today.

***

The run started to feel like a bad decision when his aching back and upset stomach had him bending over himself, stopping every few steps to catch his breath.

He felt like he was going to puke his guts any moment now.

He rushed to sit down on the first bench he saw, and he was glad that there was no one around to see him like that.

One of his hands moved to caress his tight stomach, trying to ease whatever that was going inside, and his free hand moved to massage his back. Another cramp.

Taking a deep breath, Caio leaned forward, his eyes closed while he waited for the pain to pass.

After a minute, when the pain subsided, he forced himself to stand again, trying to start jogging again.

His effort lasted little because soon, the feeling of something making its way down his pelvis made him stop dead in his tracks.

Something was trying to come out of him.

Panic gripped him. Did he need a bathroom?

Well, fuck off. There was no way anything was coming out of him right now.

Taking a shaky breath, Caio forced his legs to move again, trying to go as fast as he could back to his apartment, ignoring the growing discomfort in his middle.

Every step was harder than the last one, and Caio was unable to point out what was wrong.

When he reached the last street before his apartment, his body forced himself to stop when a particularly hard cramp took over his bloated stomach.

Leaning against a lamppost, Caio breathed deeply, closing his eyes while he massaged his stomach.

The moment he was ready to start walking again, another cramp hit. Caio let out a loud whimper.

A gush of water flooded between his legs, staining his new pair of pants and his new shoes, and Caio looked down in total awe.

"The fuck…?" he panicked, trying to look down past his stomach.

He didn't have a single moment to catch his breath, because soon something was coming out of him and his own body was pushing.

"Fuck!" the man cried, feeling how his body wasn't obeying his wishes of keeping inside whatever was inside of him.

With trembling legs, Caio forced himself to keep moving. He needed to reach home somehow.

The man walked-waddled his way home with an uncomfortable and unknown weight between his legs, trying to come out.

When he barely reached the door to his building, Caio stumbled inside, letting out a loud moan as soon as he was alone.

He cursed his landlord for not fixing the elevator yet, and with a quiet whimper, Caio fought his way to the stairs.

As soon as he tried to climb one step higher than a knee, he felt a burning sensation between his legs, and his body forced him down to a squat.

"My fucking God..!"

When the need to just let go and push was so overwhelming that he couldn't even crawl, he decided to give up.

As soon as he decided to cooperate with his body, allowing the pressure between his legs to start coming out, he let out another scream as the impossibly huge weight made its way out of his hole.

With desperate hands Caio reached to pull his pants down, reaching inside his underwear to find... a head?

A fucking baby's head?

Caio screamed out again when the head kept making his way out, and he reached to pull his legs back, giving into pushing.

"Fuck! Oh, fuck!" he cried, his voice breaking as he kept pushing.

He didn't even know where to begin to explain how a baby was crowning between his legs, but it was happening, and fast. With another push, the head came out of him with a gush of birth fluid.

Caio had to force his legs wide apart and keep pushing.

The rest of the body took him even more effort, but soon, he found himself staring at the crying baby in front of him.

The initial shock was soon replaced by a tiny happiness. He had some calls to make to let his co-fuckbuddy-worker know that he left some extra work with Caio.

#birth kink #pregnancy #labor #pregnancy fantasy #mpreg #public birth #pregnancy denial #labor denial #birthadventcalendar22 #asadfwrites

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wrathofrats · 4 months

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Feelin a little down ngl, could you write a pack appreciation scene for Cumulus? I love some good body worship for our Ghoulettes <3

Shoves this to the top of current ask pile

I’m so sorry you’re not feeling well, I hope everything’s alright

My DMs are open if you want to talk 🫶 open invite for all but, just making it known

I’m not sure if you wanted nsfw or not so I decided to air on the side of caution and make it pretty sfw/more tame than my usual stuff, but if you’d like something more spicy don’t hesitate to send another ask, I hope you feel better beloved!

Cumulus likes to wear her heart on her sleeve. Always one to not be afraid of her emotions and attempt to feel them as they come. Like a gentle breeze or the movement of the clouds on a warm spring day.

Something felt different about the tilt of her mirror. Or maybe it was smudged. She couldn’t put her finger on it but something was wrong, her skirt didn’t move the way she wanted it to, her belt looked wide and awkward around her hips and her sweater didn’t bunch the way she wanted it to.

Her perfume smells sickly sweet on her neck. No longer the fun tantalizing vanilla aroma she grew to love, it was something overbearing and fake, like the taste of bad fondant.

“Lus?”

Cirrus sat on the bed behind her and studied the way cumulus picked at the loose stitches of her sweater. It was more than evident in her posture that she was overthinking something, couldn’t get out of her own head. Cumulus tended to do this sometimes on bad days, go quiet and retreat from her usual bubbly self.

She sighs quietly to herself and unbuckles her belt.

“Lus what’s up?” Cirrus moves to place her hands over cumulus’, stopping her from completely undoing her outfit.

“It’s not right, I don’t know it’s just, I don’t like it today”

“That’s ok, let’s change alright?” Cirrus’ voice is soft as she brushes her thumb against the back of cumulus’s hands. It’s a permission cumulus appreciates, the thought that cirrus wants her to be comfortable, wants to help her be comfortable if at all possible.

Cumulus undoes the last of her belt, tossing it to the side while cirrus grabs a more comfortable outfit from their closet.

It’s hard not to watch her undress, she’s elegant in the way she moves, even if it’s just tearing off her sweater and skirt. The curve of her thighs and the fat that pools over the waistband of her underwear makes cirrus want to kiss her everywhere and stare at her all day.

She’s just more perfect to her than cirrus could ever describe.

Cumulus giggles a bit when she turns to see Cirrus admiring her. “What?”

“I just think you’re pretty”

Cirrus pulls the sweat shirt over cumulus’ head

“Shut up” she laughs again once her head peeks out.

The common room isn’t much different in terms of feeling strange. The light was too bright, the seams in her sweatpants brushed against her legs as a constant reminder she was wearing clothes and being perceived in them. Even the coffee smelled more like burnt dirt than anything else to her.

She jumps as Swiss’s arms snake around her waist.

“Whoa easy Lus, what’s up?”

Swiss spins her to look at him. She tries to cover up the sad look in her eye she knows she has but she’s never been able to hide herself, especially from him.

“Just having a day” she mumbles leaning as far back from him as she can. His grip releases in her clearly uncomfortable state.

“Can we do anything for you?” Swiss studies her face for any sign that something else may be wrong.

“No, just need time, I’ll be ok” she mumbles again.

Rain hands her a cup of tea when she walks into the kitchen as phantom stares at her giddily.

“What?” She smiles at him

“Swiss taught me how to put quintessence in it so you feel better” he shoots her a toothy smile

“He’s been so excited about it you don’t understand” Swiss laughs

A shadow looms over her before a hand reaches over her head to hand her a flower.

“We just got some hydrangea blooms in the garden, I know you love them” mountain places his other hand on her shoulder. Cumulus can’t help but smile and lean back into the embrace. They all know mountain simply used his powers to bloom one for her but she lets him believe that she took it at face value. It keeps the fun in everything for her.

Swiss leans back in to sandwich her between mountain and his chest, he loves to hear her giggle as he squeezes just a bit too tight.

“If you crush my flowers I’ll kill you” she wheezes

“Mountain can fix them it’s fine”

“If you crush her flowers I’ll kill you” mountain repeats

#me writing 500 words of lesbians before remembering to add everyone else in there #I’m sure it obvious I’m sorry I just love cumulus and cirrus #the band ghost #ghost #nameless ghouls #ghost bc #fanfic #wrath writes #swiss ghoul #cumulus ghoulette #cirrus ghoulette #mountain ghoul #phantom ghoul #rain ghoul

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luffyvace · 4 months

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Luffy x black reader♡

not a request or from my list i just wanted to do more luffy/ace and one piece content since it’s is what this acc mains:)

more of luffy and ace will come sooner or later so enjoy loves<3

not gonna specify gender bc there’s more for fem black reader i believe so i’ll leave up to you as to who you are☀︎

obviously luffy’s seen black people before

and i say that bc it’s not like in some anime’s where all the background characters are pale

some are tan, black, pale, whatever!

i like the diversity in one piece :)

anyway so yeah we’re starting with the hair

he likes the texture of it and will subconsciously play with your hair a lot

i feel like he does the same to usopp

your hair may or may not be longer than his tho

whoever has longer hair when he stretches it out is who’s hair he plays with more

you and usopp def relate and make inside jokes

he says “boing boing boing” while pulling on your hair and watching the recoil/shrinkage

LOLL

there’s a lot more males in one piece and the black ones usually have they’re hair in fro’s

especially since majority are pirates

but when he sees you braid your hair he thinks it’s cool and asks you to do the same to his

and you do but you tell him and won’t be the same

you explain that it’s a protective style that-

whats that? 🤨

he doesn’t get it 😐

🧍‍♀️

nevermind luffy..

likes to take baths with you and wash your hair for you

honestly he likes the whole process of you taking care of your hair

like the drying, the boing, what it looks like when it’s wet

everything

as far as AAVE

you either talk to usopp or loose your mind trying to explain it to him 😭

you and usopp could have a whole conversation and NO ONE is able to “decode” what your talking about

”what language is that?? what are you talking about?”

”are you hiding secrets?” teach me i wanna know!!”

if you do bother to try

after explaining all he says is ‘i don’t get it’

‘so you created your own language??”

”you know what luffy..yeah, that’s the best i can explain it to you anyway”

if y’all come across an adventure where a code needs to be cracked he’s gonna assume you know it 🤷‍♀️

YOUR FITS BE FIRE🔥🔥

but usopp gets it better than he does 😔

the rest of the crew too duh

but luffy…

my boy just don’t care about who’s wearing what and WHY

he doesn’t see a fancy rich lady because she’s wearing expensive clothes

he sees a lady.

likewise when he sees you, he sees…….YOU

duh..🤦‍♀️

sooo..yeah kinda disappointing 😭

at least you have usopp tho 🗣🗣

which reminds me to quickly mention if your chubby he pays it no mind

unless it’s affecting your mental health, then he does everything in his power to make you laugh

now i know he called alvida fat at first, BUT i feel if luffy likes you he’s less likely to insult you

usopp nose don’t count

due to that i’ll say he wouldn’t call you any mean names if you are chubby

in the same way he won’t mention or compliment you if you have curves/abs

even if you worked hard for them 😞

also thinks you rival sanji when it comes to cooking and seasonings

for the sake of the headcanons let’s say you can cook if you can’t

“MMMM _____ THIS IS SOO GOOD!!”

”YUMMYYYYY!!”

”did sanji teach you how to cook?! this is delicious!!”

TEACH HIM THE WORD BUSSIN/BANGIN IT’D BE SO FUNNY

”MMM ______ THIS MEAT BUSSIN!!”

IMAGINE THAT IN LUFFY’S VOICE

anyway🧍‍♀️

your mac and cheese>>🤤

sanji is certainly impressed by such skills

even more so when you say it’s been passed down through generations

he’s kind enough to let you prepare some dishes even!

only down slide is..now you have to cook for luffy

you and sanji gotta 2v1 this man in the middle of the night to keep him from raiding the fridge 😞😒

and you best bet this man will go back and forth between begging you and sanji to cook for him

depending on what type of person you are you’ll do it or not

and he’s STILL rushing you even when your BOTH working on cooking

ain’t fast enough 😐

my mans needs the food right in front of him 😭🤦‍♀️

you tell him all about your culture and he listens well and wants to try some stuff

he might want to try head wraps, food (obviously) and dances the most

you can tell he’s genuinely interested and it makes you happy

also another thing about your hair is he describes it as ticklish

”ticklish? luffy?”

“yeah! because when we go to sleep or cuddle and you turn around, your hair tickles my nose and i sneeze!”

😭😭

also wonders why your hair and skin is oily

will swipe some off your nose and rub it between his fingers

BRO PLEASE

after you explain to him that that’s naturally how you are and it’s to keep your hair and skin from going dry he’s like “oooooh.”

doesn’t question it much after that

two more things about the AAVE

one, after he hears you call your “language” AAVE he asks what it stands for/means and when you tell him

“it stands for ‘African American Vernacular English’ Luffy, basically it means how black people talk.”

OHHHHH HE THINKS HE GETS IT NOW!!

omg finally?!?!

that took so long but whatever 😭

”so is that why you talk like that?”

”i should slap the taste outta your mouth” 😒

”WHAT?! that’s sounds like it’ll hurt!! don’t do that _____ i won’t be able to taste food anymore!!” ☹️

your conversations consist of :

”WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! I DON’T GET IT?! EXPLAIN!!”

“JUST FORGET IT!!”

have fun explaining your every sentence to this man :)

yippie i finally did more luffy hcs! i’ve been wanting to for a long time but worked on other drafts instead and never got around to it. anyway, hopefully you enjoyed loves!! <3

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hdowfj2-0 · 3 months

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TIPS ANA AND MIA

○ Listen to music as it stimulates the same point as food.

● Try to eat less than 500 calories a day, occasionally eat more so your body doesn't get used to it.

○ If you're Mia, brush your teeth with baking soda after vomiting to protect them.

● You say you go to places not to eat and when you arrive you say you ate on the way out.

○ Hide a zipper bag in your room; At mealtime ask for food to be brought to your room, saying that you have to do homework, then put all the food in the bag.

● If they see you thinner, just say that it is true, and that you will eat more. Clearly you won't do it, it's just to mislead.

○ Fast for 28 days, the muscle will lose body and you will not have to worry about weight anymore, it will just be a matter of continuing to fast and the muscle contour will not increase without the need to exercise.

● Eat some strong spices to make your body more likely to burn calories faster.

○ When you are at home, wear loose clothing so your weight loss is not noticeable

● Use makeup to avoid dark circles and paleness.

○ Eat diet gelatin, it has very few calories.

● Starting at 6 in the afternoon, try to eat less, try to avoid fats and sugars, from that time on your metabolism changes, as it prepares to sleep and that is when it tries to accumulate more fat.

○ If you chew your food very well, you stay satisfied sooner and gain less weight because digestion takes place better.

● Always put very small amounts of food in your mouth and chew it well, this way you will feel full sooner and eat less.

○ Before eating something you really want, such as chocolate ice cream or a bag of chips, take a deep breath and count to 100; Most likely, long before you have reached 100, you will have convinced yourself that you should not eat it.

● When eating with other people, try the opaque glass trick: "Pretend to eat and spit your food into the glass when it looks like you're drinking."

○ Convince yourself that you don't like foods that contain a lot of fat or calories and don't eat them.

● Always wait 3 hours before going to sleep when you have eaten.

○ If you drink coffee on an empty stomach, hunger will go away and you will burn calories thanks to caffeine.

● If you have to have blood tests, these tricks can help you try to pretend that you are fine: drink a lot of water and drink juice and eat a little yogurt and a few hours before, drink isotonic drinks to increase the level of electrolytes.

○ Drink water, lots of water, the colder it is, the more calories you will burn. In addition, it makes you feel full, purifies you from the inside, eliminates fluids and takes away your hunger.

● When you are hungry, brush your teeth, take a shower, beautify yourself.

○ If you can't avoid temptation, take the food you crave, chew it very, very slowly and spit it out. Repeat this several times to calm anxiety. Between bites, try to drink water.

● Eat sugar-free gum, they fill your stomach, they are good and when you chew them you burn more calories than they

○ Eat when there are people in front of you. This way they won't be able to say that you don't eat. If you know you will have to eat with people, try not to eat anything the day before, or eat only fruit and soups, so you can eat something else the next day.

● Read as many books about Anas as you can. They inspire a lot. Of course, try not to let your friends or family see you with them.

○ Look how fat people eat. Do you want to get like this?

● Sleep at least 6 hours. Sleeping less increases hunger. Try eating on a dessert plate. It looks like you've eaten more.

○ Chew ice. That will take away your hunger a little.

● Mints are excellent for satisfying hunger.

○ Eat slowly. The stomach requires 20 minutes to feel satisfied.

● Don't dress warmly, when you are cold your body consumes a greater amount of calories.

#anadiet #tw ed diet #ana trigger #anatumblr #ana bllog #tw ana diary #tw mia

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crybaby-bkg · 2 years

Text

Week Two, Day Four of Kinktober 2022

Crush Kink: Jujutsu Kaisen: Nanami Kento

Word Count: 1.1K

Tags: crush fetish, being stepped on kink, shoe/high heel fetish, degrading (m!receiving), slight humiliation (m!receiving), ejaculation in pants, dom reader, premature ejaculation

“Beg for it, Mr. Nanami.” You sneer down to the blond haired, boring looking professor. He’s not as he seems though, with his tight face and even tighter tied tie. He looks strict, uptight, snooty you could even dare call him, but really, the man is everything but in his spare time. His spare time being paying you to step on him in unusually high heels for an hour every Thursday night in his decked out penthouse.

It’s not a job you ever imagined you’d have, but it pays good money. You don’t have penetrative sex with anyone, just fulfill unusual and taboo kinks, of course with hard limits. Most are usually just that—unusual, but not necessarily weird or off putting. Sometimes it gives you a rush of power, even if it’s something you’re not typically into.

“You know I don’t beg.” The blond male says firmly, as firm as he can in the position he’s in. He kneels before you in front of his bed, thick thighs spread in his uniformed tan slacks, blue button up popped with a few unbuttoned pieces, tie loose around his neck, those infamous glasses he always wears forgotten, hair disheveled. It was a pleasure watching him come in from work and try to get out of his clothes, surprised to see you already sat in his bed, despite leaving the door unlocked specifically for you this morning.

But it’s even better to watch the pristine man beg.

“Aww, cmon,” you pout at him, crossing one leg over the over, watching how Kento watches you closely. He swallows when your foot flexes in your shoe, ankle dangling a little when you sigh again.

“You think I’m just gonna give it to you without you asking for it like a good boy?” You tease, head tilting, smile widening. Kento frowns at you the best he can with how shallow his breath has become, his fringe hiding soft and desperate eyes. You won’t crack though, and level him off with a stare until he huffs and breaks down.

“Please, step on me.” Kento mutters, eyes casted low before he looks at you again. He’s trying so hard to act so nonchalant about the entire thing, but you can see the strain in his slacks, can see the bulge begging to be freed from its confinements. You smile at him, merciful, placing the tip of your heeled shoe under his chin to lift it and smile even wider when he gives you an entire body shiver.

“Knew you had it in you.” You praise, leaning forward to rake a hand through his hair before you pull back and finally give him what he wants. Kento told you early on that he wasn’t a fan of the teasing, the foreplay. Just wanted to get this whole thing done and over with so that the shame of it all couldn’t catch up to him fast enough. It saddens you a little, but it’s also sweet as hell to watch a grown man crumble so fast just from stepping on his cock.

And that’s what you do, without hesitation, without a moments pause. Kento groans and buckles over at your swiftness, at the feeling of the ball of your foot pressed so heavily on the shaft of his cock. You lean back on your hands, head rested on your shoulder as you look down on him from your nose.

“Such a perv, Mr. Nanami,” you poke at the older man, knowing he’s not as sharp tongued or witted when you’ve got your foot on his cock, knows he’s prone to short responses and breathy stutters. It does more to you than it honestly should, makes your cunt drip in your underwear, to watch such a powerful and sturdy and self gathered man crumble so easily at your, well, foot.

“Do your students know about your little fetish? How you like it when I step on your fat cock?” He gasps under his breath at that, head tucked into his strong chest as he keeps his balled fists on his thighs like the obedient man he is. He knows not to touch unless given specific directions, but you can tell it kills him, can tell he wants to grab at your shin and rut his cock against the underside of your shoes. But he’s so, so good, and he sits there and takes it, takes it all.

“They don’t know,” Kento answers you with a gasp, completely buckled over now, hands splayed on the ground in front of him as you start rubbing a little harder where you feel his tip lays. Still answers you, even though he’s so quick to cum already. What a shame, you think, frowning, as you slide your foot up until the pointy part of your sharp and high heels digs slightly into the fatness of the man’s cock. Kento groans loud, body shuddering and bucking, as he starts rocking his hips against your shoe.

“Can’t believe you pay me so much money to step on such a pretty cock, only for you to cum in under five minutes. Such a shame.” You sigh, leaning back fully on his bed until you rest on your elbows. One foot rests on Kento’s cock, letting him do all the work to get himself off, the other propped up on his thigh, heel digging into the meat of it but he doesn’t complain. Only gasps a little louder, groans a little harder, his head finally throwing itself back so that he can look at you. He always does this whenever he’s about to cum, like he needs to see your mean sneer and disapproving glare to finally reach orgasm.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, eyes screwed shut before he forces them open again, hips still rocking against your shoe. “I’ll try to last longer next time.”

“Like you don’t say that every time.” You roll your eyes at him, pouting, putting more pressure on his cock until you’re sure it hurts. Kento seems to love it though, as his hips buck erratically like he’s seconds away from coming.

“Just hurry up and cum so I can blow your money on a new pair of heels. Bet you’ll like that though, you perverted freak.” You smile at him, wide and mean, and that’s what finally sends the blond man over the edge. Kento groans, rough and low in his throat, head tucked into his chest again as you feel his cock tensing and jerking underneath your heel from how hard you’re pressing on him.

You wait until he finally catches his breath to remove your foot and sit up. Kento huffs one last time before he throws his head back to look at you, still fully dressed but more disheveled than ever. You look down and catch the growing wet spot on his slacks, thinking to yourself, that maybe there’s no harm in breaking that no touching rule if it’s with your favorite customer.

#crybaby.bkg.kinktober #Nanami treats! 🍬#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#cw: humiliation #cw: degradation

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ghastlygirl71 · 1 year

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a fat girls valentines day

ed imagine (๑•ૅㅁ•๑)

you wake up to your phone’ s alarm faintly screaming underneath your pillow. turning it off, you roll to the side as your fat stomach flops down on soft blankets. its 7 am and youre supposed to get ready for school. your friends want to match outfits , but theres nothing you can really wear and pull off. everything hugs you a little too tightly in the wrong places , making the imperfections on your body more prominent. dresses make you look pathetic, like a tub of lard — jeans make your front “butt” obvious from any angle. tight shirts look gross, and loose hoodies make you look sloppy. fat is the worst accessory.

rolling out of bed , your feet slam into the carpet causing an audible thud; something youve been insecure about ever since you gained so much weight. months of constant bingeing build up on your body , no matter how much you tried to hide it. your friends try to be polite but everyone’s concerned for you. walking towards your beatdown dresser , you pull out a soft pink sweater and jean shorts. these shorts are just loose enough that you can hide your large belly.

after you shove the clothes on , you rush to the kitchen and grab yourself a large serving of strawberry waffles, honey sausage and scrambled eggs. you cover breakfast in whipped cream and syrup and shovel food down your throat. syrup drips onto your new sweater, staining it. no matter what you eat when youre fat you always look like a pig. just as your scrapping your plate for the last bites your mom walks into the kitchen. shes always been your ideal, a thin figure with a slim waist and healthy hair. its been your dream to get prettier than her , after all the comments on what you eat, your body and the way you look, but you couldnt do it. i guess food was just too important.

“good morning honey! is that what youre wearing to school?” she smiles and glares at the sticky brown stains covering your top. “yeah.. i wanted to wear pink for valentines day.” pushing your plate away you go to brush your hair and wash up. its a disappointment to see your body in the mirror, so you brush your hair on your bed. afterwards you cram your fat feet into black converse , and you grab your tote bag, ( which looks significantly small compared to your large build) and rush out the door . your stepdad is waiting in the car and he glares at you as you force yourself in the backseat. he doesnt bother speaking to you on the ride to school, hes never liked big people and has made that clear.

by the time you get to school you want to cry . cold air slaps your face and wind pushes against you as you walk across campus, ignoring lingering eyes. every snicker convinces you people are talking about you. you push damaged hair out of your face as you look for your friend , gabby. she departs from the crowd and runs towards you, her face distorting as she looks you up and down.

“ y/n! happy valentines day..!” she gives a vague smile while standing a few feet away. hopefully she doesnt have a specific reason for this, but youre pretty sure its because of your vulgar looks. nobody wants to be seen with the whale. “happy valentines! you look so pretty, i love the dress.” a pink silk dress grabs at her small waist and compliments her figure perfectly. she paired it with white pearls and lace stockings, you’ve never been so jealous. if only you were smaller, you could wear whatever. you’d have the best fashion taste if you were just 30lbs less. thats what you think. “thanks. lets walk to class.” she grabs your arm and leads you down the hall. you feel so out of place in the neatly decorated school, with all the prettiest girls. you feel inferior.

during class time you sit in the back , making few noises as to not attract any attention. you shrink into yourself and try not to bother the boys sitting next to you. they’ve always bullied you because you were not only a girl; but an unattractive girl. i guess nobody sees you as an actual person? you look down at your lap to see thighs that spill over the small chair. you wish you wore sweatpants instead. gabby sits in the front of class, and even though she doesn’t participate either , nobody cares. by the time the bell rings for lunch you are halfway out the door, your stomach rumbling. you haven’t eaten in four hours!

your grubby hands reach for the dry chicken sandwiches in the lunch line, along with two servings of fries, a mandatory apple and a small raisin cookie you bought. you don ‘t even like raisins, but you need something sweet. you sit down next to the large trashcans and doorway, gorging yourself on mediocre school food. gabby doesnt pay any attention to you as she walks past , going to sit with some skinny sluts. if you got to know them they wouldn’t be that bad of people, but you cant help being jealous. once you finish your lunch, you toss the disposable tray and walk towards the vending machines. what will you get today? theres sour candy, reeses, even honeybuns! you purchase a large honeybun, chocolate rice krispie, and a funsize bag of potato chips. you dont have enough lunchtime to finish these snacks, but you need to binge. theres a large lump in your throat and you feel dizzy as you rush to the school bathroom, deciding to skip gym in favor of gobbling down sweet snacks.

once you finish eating, you start to cry. you’ve basically forgotten its valentines day. while everyone else is delivered flowers and lollipops from secret admirers, you sit in a bathroom stall to small for your large body and sob. why is life so unfair? you try so hard, but nothing ever works. except you dont. you have no self control when it comes to food, you just eat whatever. maybe if you ate healthier, worked out more, and ate in a calorie deficit. then maybe you’d be normal .

when school ends, you decide to walk home instead of taking the bus. you cant stand to sit next to all those judging eyes. now is the time, you’ve decided, to get rid of this disgusting body. all this lard will be gone after a few months of dedication. when you get home, you flop into bed and sleep for the next 7 hours.

its fine though, you’ ll start tomorrow!

#ana imagine #th1n$po #th1nsp1r4t10n #th11n$p0 #4n4m14 #th1nsp0 imagine

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autstrology · 9 months

Text

CHIRON, FASHION & SHAME (in the Natal Chart)

I can talk about fashion astrology all day, but there are some key points that I must address as a stylist.

Shame is one of the things that alters our style.

Whether we want it to or not, shame holds us back from being in alignment with self. It makes us feel unworthy, it makes us feel guilty for being present, and it starts to separate us from our spirit.

It’s unfortunate, that shame is something that usually stems from childhood. Whether it be direct trauma, abuse, body dysmorphia, bullying, etc. Anything can detach us from our spirit, and that unwanted feeling grows the longer that we are detached from it.

Shame then becomes relief, that turns into confidence.

Shame can leave, you can grow from shame, you can heal.

Let’s start.

This person is a Pisces sun, Cancer Moon, Gemini Ascendant.

Their Venus is in Pisces, and Mars in Aquarius.

They have Chiron in Leo, sitting right in their 3H.

The depositor of Chiron is the Sun, which is sitting in the 11H in Pisces, this persons livelihood and confidence may have been largely influenced by the thoughts and inputs of others.

The moon is in its home sign of Cancer, but it's also sitting in the 3H close to Chiron. There may have been attacks on their self esteem and psyche through their parents, focused on their intelligence. This person could have experienced extreme comparison to their siblings or people in close vicinity. These attacks directly effected how they think of themselves, as the moon is trine the sun.

The moon also has a loose trine with Pluto, which may indicate the closer parent having a direct impact on this persons self esteem. I would say that this parent is most likely the mother. With that moon sitting in the 3H, there is a direct tie to the arms and shoulders, and having the moon there, this could indicate a weight fluctuation of those body parts. AKA having excessive fat in the arms/armpit.

Saturn is in the 9H.

This person may have issues attached to their beliefs, and may have conservative thoughts about fashion. Thinking that we should only dress modestly, or think that forward/out of the norm fashion is just “too much” or “attention driven.”

There is more to this, but because of this, this person may be scared to even go out of the norm, may even wear baggier clothes to hide their figure, and be the most comfortable in a hoodie/sweatshirt. They hide what's best about themselves, so that others will not talk down on them.

I could also see this person being more about the top fashion houses, and only speaking on their influence in fashion; leaving out trend starters and minority groups.

They may be a "comfort is more important than looking good and dressing up" kind of person. (And this is NO SHADE to people who are like that) But having the chart ruler sitting high in the 11H, they are really vocal about this and you can't change their mind.

Healing this will take time, and repetition. It will take a driving force to get this through their head, as no one can change their mindset but them. This will take constant replacing of those disruptive, shameful and intrusive thoughts with counter positives. This will need to be done through spoken words and face to face experiences. The positive counters will need to be thought provoking to challenge that 9H Saturn. They can heal through reading about and visually seeing others being confident with themselves. That includes their wardrobe. A closet cleanse/wardrobe revamp could be a key part to their healing...

AND THAT'S IT FOR PART ONE! Please let me know if you like this, want more and what you'd like to see in blog form from me!

Thank you so much for reading!

Please like, share and follow! See you soon!

As always, you can find me @ Autstrology on everything!

#astrology #fashion #fashion astrology #autstrology #chiron #saturn #moon #shame

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fatfatttyfat · 2 months

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As a first post i wanted to do a... ¿what will I experience if i don't loose all this mf weight?

(being really mean)

you'll always be the FAT FRIEND (yes, you're the fat friend, as i am, as all we are here).

you'll NEVER be with the boys/girls you like, bc they won't want to be with a fatty.

you won't be able to borrow your friends' clothes, how embarrassing ¿don't you think?

you'll be always crying over your weight, you won't be happy.

you won't be able to wear a bikini w/o embarrassing yourself.

you’ll look greedy every time you eat just because you’re fat

everyone will remember you as the fat person, bc every time they see you again you kept being a fatty.

you look like you don't have self control or self respect just bc you're fat.

you’ll have to hide your stomach when you sit

you won't be able of enjoying the summer at 100% bc of the clothes you'll wear.

you'll need to get the bigger size every time you go shopping, and that's disgusting.

you'll feel bad when you're in a sleepover bc you snore bc of the fat you're.

you'll feel all you can do is k1ll yourself.

and the most important thing, YOU WON'T BE PRETTY.

#anorexla #anor3c1a #skiny girl #suic1de #bulim14

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hee-blee-art · 1 year

Photo

“vulnerability” ft. sandman and b.g. (part 1)

[link to part 2] [link to full comic]

[image ID: a comic sketched in blue featuring sandman (he/him), a short fat humanoid creature with long tail, a large wizard hat, and a star design on his chest; and b.g. (any pronouns), a tall buff humanoid shapeshifter with a skeletal face, dark hair, and black sclera.

transcription:

sandman: [looking shocked] b.g.! b.g.: [from out of frame] what? sandman: where are your clothes?! b.g.: I’m changing them. sandman: right here?? b.g.: you literally never wear clothes, sugarplum. sandman: [looking away and hiding in his face in his hat] not true! my cloak is my clothes, plus my hat. [a dark garment is tossed on the floor beside sandman] b.g.: [as she changes her clothes] are you serious? sandman: yes! b.g.: tsh. well that hardly seems fair. sandman: what are you talking about? b.g. you’ve seen me naked plenty of times; I’ve never seen you naked. sandman: [stammering] it-it’s not like that’s my fault! b.g.: [buttoning up a new shirt] really? ‘cause it seems like you could even this all out by just getting naked right now. sandman: [yelling] absolutely not! sandman: [still hiding, blushing] ...why do you care so much, anyway? b.g.: well you and I are supposed to be all about balancing each other, right? sandman: oh, spare me. you’re just pulling my strings because you like to see me squirm, aren’t you? b.g.: [now fully dressed, looming over a startled sandman with her face morphed into a scary smile] hm, perhaps, heh heh heh.

[scene break]

b.g.: [from out of frame] you’ve got to be more careful, you idiot. sandman: [inspecting a scratch on his arm that reveals some sand underneath his form-fitted burlap clothes] I’m fine, it’s just a scratch. it takes a lot more than that to really hurt me. b.g.: you got lucky, sugarplum. [b.g., whose hair is now longer and in a ponytail, pulls a loose string from his ripped t-shirt and bites it loose with his teeth] b.g.: [crouching down to sandman’s level and holding out his hand] give me your stupid arm. sandman: [looking confused] what? why? b.g.: [annoyed] so I can sew you up, sand-for-brains. sandman: [reaching to pull a wand out from his hat] you know I can just fix it with magic, right? b.g.: [yelling, losing some of his form’s composure and becoming slightly more monstrous] what, you think I can’t handle a simple bit of stitching?! sandman: I wish you’d quit being so dramatic. it’s really not a big deal. [sandman uses his wand to control some of the sand from his wound and uses the sand as thread to patch up his scratch, as if sewing. b.g. sits down next to sandman on the ground] b.g.: so sandman is pretty literal then, huh? you’re all sand under there? sandman: [slightly annoyed] for moon’s sake, sigh, if you must know, yes. b.g.: is it the same sand you cast with? sandman: er, no, not exactly. the sand I cast with doesn’t have feeling. b.g.: and the burlap isn’t actually a part of you? sandman: my cloak? not quite. it’s more like... enchanted armour. b.g.: and you don’t ever take it off? sandman: [clicking his tongue] tsk, this again? I can, I just usually don’t have any reason to. b.g.: what about for... well, you know. sandman: [distracting by his magic sewing] know what? b.g.: [glancing away and blushing slightly] ehh... nevermind.

end transcription and end ID.]

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wcdonaldo · 7 months

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anyway I think I've solved the riddle

it seems the answer i've landed on for the cause of my current mental state can be summed up as "I'm not presenting my gender the way I want to and I'm not interacting with enough trans people IRL"

which are two problems that, while not entirely unrelated, have very different solutions

the first problem is relatively easy to solve, though kind of expensive (and made more difficult due to my body type). simply put i need to find more femme ways to dress casually so that i don't feel as gross. part of me wants to dye my hair a little, though I think step one before I go there is to figure out a new hairstyle - I usually just part it in the middle (where it parts very easily but the hair gets kinda thin there) and then loosely tie it back, and then use leave-in conditioner to make sure the hair stays down near my ears. here's a picture as an example, though the hair's kinda messy cause I'm laying in bed at the end of the day

aside from hair (which I'll work on but am probably gonna have to sort out with a hair stylist) i have to figure out two other major concerns with my appearance, which are the red blotches on my face and my clothes. the red blotches are either acne or rosacea (though I'm kinda young for rosacea) but tbqh I need to see a dermatologist about it. again if anybody knows any trans-friendly dermatologists in the chicago area I'd jump at the chance, but it's not priority until i can get that sorted because it's not something I can handle or even diagnose without medical help or knowledge. I kinda want to learn a little more about makeup to help hide it, but even then I want to see if I can reduce the symptoms a bit first.

clothing wise is where gender presentation runs into some money and anxiety issues because what it boils down to is that I actually rather like the stereotypical "programmer socks" and own a couple pairs, but they 1. don't stay up unless I use fashion glue due to my fat thighs and 2. get nervous at the notion of wearing them in public or even around my apartment. i have two roommates, one of whom i would be upset if he called me cringe for wearing these in my mid-20s (the other roommate i do not particularly care for their opinion, he regularly seems to "forget" I'm a girl), so i think i might pull him aside and talk to him tomorrow to tell him not to judge me openly. even then there's a lot of anxiety about wearing it in public, or even other thigh high socks, though that can be hopefully changed if I start hanging out with crowds that also dress that way. aside from that my other issue is frankly that I don't have any outfits to wear socks or tights with; I have one dress that they might maybe work with, but even then I don't have anything short enough that I can casually throw it on without covering the top of the socks (they go up really high, like almost all the way to the corners of the crotch. they might actually be a little too tall but idk enough to say). i don't even know where i would start looking, considering that whatever I'd find would have to have at least like a 46" inch waist. to be honest ultimate goals would be wearing an outfit like that with a hoodie or a sweater? neither of which i own (more money...) but that can be fixed. I don't know what else i'd wear as a top and again I'm not suuuuuper sure where to start looking, but i think the hoodie would be a step in the right direction.

and to be clear here the clothing thing is entirely me just aping the way I see other trans girls dress online, and while i like the way it looks and understand the general style I've never quite understood any decisions that went into it aside from "it looks good"-- the biggest mystery of my life has been watching other trans women give clothing advice and always talking about "framing the shoulders," which is a phrase on par with wizardry to me. i simply have no idea what that means and it's never really been explained to me in a way that makes sense. all i really know is that the way I've dressed since I transitioned has mostly mirrored the way I dressed before I transitioned. this picture of me where I felt relatively confident looks like a somewhat more femme version of the way I dressed in high school and freshman year college

this is more or less how I've dressed all my life, except before this year I didn't own any camisoles at all and all my bras were sports bras (for convenience) so i just had whatever shitty tshirt I could find with kinda small breasts. it's very casual and practical and doesn't deviate a whole lot from what i already know, but what i already know isn't good enough. it doesnt feel right when I look in the mirror, it doesn't make my heart race. it makes me feel allergic to my own clothing. in summary i need to change or die trying, which hopefully can be done on a budget and with some help from some friends

the other major issue, frankly, is the same as always - i need to surround myself with people a little more like me. going to support groups hasn't really panned out, and has involved me meeting other trans people that I would define as "normie" - not to mention the one time I went down to boystown and took a breather in the center on halsted, and the security guard there gave me the stinkeye the entire time. i really don't like the word "normie" but frankly it's the word in my vocabulary that fits the best - these were people who I would define as my brothers, sisters, and siblings, and yet we shared no other commonalities, no interests at all. people where aside from being trans, felt like they were entirely culturally different than me. this issue is a hell of a lot harder to solve than buying clothes (though it ties into relieving the anxiety of how I dress in public by having other people who dress similarly) and frankly i'm not sure where to even start on trying to solve this one. i'm planning on taking chances on anime conventions and hoping to find other people there, but who knows what luck I'll have with that; i've made maybe two friends that i actively talk to since high school, and my social skills have kind of atrophied as a result. it helps to have other people along to push me into social situations, but i can't always have people i know there (especially since everybody i know who'd be willing to go with is eternally busy).

I think some of this also ties into trust issues in my romantic life (implying that I have one) and general feelings of loneliness, but logically I think before I can really handle being in any kind of relationship I need to get myself in a mental state where I can actually believe that somebody would feel something for me other than revulsion or mild annoyance

so yeah I think that sorts out my issues, and maybe (hopefully) gives me a place to start getting shit figured out again, and get to a better mental state. thank y'all for not unfollowing me during my monthlong mental breakdown lmao. maybe i'll email this post to my therapist

#under the cut due to length #this is less a post asking for help and more me just trying to sort my thoughts #but advice and help is always appreciated #this also might be slightly tmi but w/e

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the-things-left-unsaid · 11 months

Text

Something I wrote about myself

In my head

It sucks knowing that everyone thinks of you highly

Thinks of you as pretty

Thinks of you as skinny

But every time you look in the mirror

All you see is the things they said

“You should loose some weight”

“You’d be more attractive if you went to the gym more”

“I hate your clothes, you look fat in them”

All from the mouths of people who supposedly loved you

“You’ll embarrass me in front of my friends”

“You’ve gained weight since we met”

And the best one

“I’m not attracted to you”

Right before they fuck you

It lingers, in your brain

Longer than you would have thought

At this rate, probably forever

And you could say they’re just awful guys

You could say they’re wrong

You could say I’m perfect just how I am

But I won’t believe you

Every time I try to wear something different

All I see is the little stomach I have

Jutting out for everyone to see

My hip dips pronounced by my jeans

They’ve ruined me

I’m no longer pretty

I’m no longer skinny

I’m no longer happy

And I know it’s all in my head

But every time I talk to someone new

All I can imagine is them seeing me naked

And being disgusted by what they see

Because of what you said

Because of what you did

“Try out this diet with me”

“Why don’t you go to the gym with me?”

“Why can’t you just eat what I tell you to?”

“Why can’t you enjoy the gym like I do?”

You never made me feel pretty

Never made me feel wanted

And I was too in love to see

Too in love to leave

Too in love

Now look at me

Wanting to love again

But unable to get those words out of my head

Uncomfortable in my own skin

Uncomfortable being seen

Uncomfortable being me

Always taking pictures neck up

Always wearing clothes that hide what I don’t want seen

Wanting to feel beautiful

But never to be achieved

I’m ugly

Just like you told me

#self loathing #relationship trauma #ugly #fuck my ex #personal thoughts #body dismorphia #in my head #written by me

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