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just-jordie-things · 10 months

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[part six] to build a home - gojo satoru

word count: 5k warnings: !!manga spoilers!! swearing, jjk-verse style fighting series summary: when (y/n) (y/l/n) catches wind that the notorious sorcerer killer, toji fushiguro, has children, she makes it her personal mission to find them. the catch being she couldn't tell a soul about them- the risk of the zen'in clan learning about them was too great. keeping the secret isn't the hard part, it's lying to her friends, shoko ieiri, geto suguru, and of course gojo satoru, that she struggles with. especially when satoru has suddenly become so keen on keeping an eye on her lately.

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[part six] : "I Held On As Tightly As You Held Onto Me" ___

The day after her little excursion with Satoru, (y/n) wakes up bright and early to get off campus before anyone else awoke. The alarm that blares in her ear is harsh and unforgiving at nearly six in the morning, but she doesn’t waste a second getting herself ready and rushing out to the front gates to get to town as soon as she could.

To her surprise, she wasn’t the only one awake this early in the morning.

“Nanami,” (y/n) stops in her tracks as she sees the lone sorcerer jogging through the gates. He seems just as surprised to see her. “What’re you doing up this early on a day off?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” He stops just a few feet before her, his head tilted to the side. “You’ve spent quite a bit of time in Tokyo, huh?”

“You don’t know that’s where I'm off to” She replies, and it’s meant to be playful, teasing, but Nanami’s bullshit detector might rival Suguru’s.

He eyes her up and down.

“Looks to me like you are,” He says bluntly. “If you’re not, then where are you off to?”

(y/n) remains silent, unable to come up with even a half-decent lie.

“That’s what I thought,” He chuckled. “Don’t worry. I’m not one to spill other people’s business to those they’re hiding it from”

Taken aback, (y/n) scoffs, shaking her head awkwardly.

“I’m not- I’m not hiding anything from anyone”

“You’re a shitty liar,” Nanami replies, and it sounds harsh, but he’s just blunt with his words. “Lucky for you, I’m tired of Gojo sticking his nose in things that don’t involve me, let alone him. So I won’t tell him I saw you,”

She’s trying to keep up a clueless act, but the relief she feels at his words is obvious.

“But a little advice?” Nanami asks, and she nods her head in a small motion, eyes flickering over him. “He’s going to catch on sooner or later,” He tells her. “So whatever you’re doing, whoever you’re seeing…” He trails off, seemingly to find the right words. “You better get your shit figured out. I’ll keep this to myself, but I don’t need Six Eyes in my business the way he got into Yu’s just to protect you”

She nods again, slowly processing what he said.

“Thank you, Nanami,” Her voice is barely above a whisper when she finds it. “I wouldn’t ask any more of you. Thank you”

The blonde sorcerer is still and silent for a moment, lost in his thoughts. He doesn’t consider this an act of kindness, more so an act of self preservation. He knew better than to get involved in something that would inevitably have upset Gojo Satoru. Nanami may have subtly despised the older sorcerer, but he was smarter than to go out of his way to upset him.

After a long pause, he nods back at her, and turns to continue his jog. (y/n) reaches out before he can leave.

“Wait, Nanami,” She calls. “One more thing?”

Begrudgingly, he stops in his tracks, giving her his attention once more.

“You said Satoru was bothering Yu?”

“Bothering is an understatement,” Nanami scoffs. “Safe to say Yu’s terrified of him now. If he wasn’t already. But…”

(y/n) waits impatiently for him to continue, hanging on to every word he spoke. What business Satoru had scaring Yu, she wasn’t entirely sure. But she wondered if it had anything to do with the last time he’d brought up the younger sorcerer’s crush.

“... I suppose Yu knew he was signing up for such treatment when he decided to pursue someone that already had a claim on them”

(y/n) blinked, her mouth dropping open slightly, but no words came out. No words even came to mind. Nanami chuckled, smiling for maybe the first time she’s ever seen, before he gave her a small wave and jogged off. She was frozen in place for a minute, and even when she finally brought herself to go on her way, she wasn’t quite sure what to make of their whole interaction.

She decides to pack it away in her mind for now, and keep her focus on the rest of her day. She owed Megumi and Tsumiki big time for yesterday, and she planned to start the day off the right way- with apology donuts.

Last night (y/n) had called Tsumiki like she’d promised she would, and the little girl didn’t seem too bothered that she hadn’t made an appearance that day, but she’d said that Megumi wasn’t in the mood to talk. Leaving (y/n) to believe the young boy held a little more of a grudge.

Not that she could blame him. She’d dropped the ball by not holding to her promise. She hoped that some day, when they were older, they would understand why she had to keep them a secret. It was for their own good and she knew that now, but they weren’t quite old enough for her to explain.

She just hoped that they could forgive her, this time. And she hoped that she’d never have to go back on their word again. ___

Satoru strolled into the courtyard, finding his friends relaxed at a picnic table, their lunches and a pack of cigarettes between them. They were laughing at something he hadn’t heard before approaching, clearly sharing their food and a cig. There was just one thing missing.

“Hey,” The white haired sorcerer greeted, throwing one leg over the wooden bench, facing Suguru as he sat. “Where’s-”

“Before you ask, we don’t know,” Shoko cut him off, passing the cigarette back to the man across from her, and picking up a pair of chopsticks in exchange. “Went to ask her if she wanted to have lunch with us, but she wasn’t in her room. Again”

“Again?” Satoru asked, brows furrowing.

“(y/n’s) absent almost more than you are these days, Satoru” Suguru commented.

“With what? Tutoring?”

“Who knows,” Shoko hums. “But she’s not on campus”

Satoru gives her a hard stare from behind his dark shades. The girl throws her hands up defensively, before reaching in front of Suguru’s plate to snatch up a rice ball.

“She’s been off having her own little adventures for the last few weeks,” Suguru says. “We don’t know where she goes. She likes her privacy”

“So you don’t even know where she is-?”

“Satoru,” Shoko mumbles through a mouthful of rice ball. “You worry too much about her. If she was in trouble, she would tell us”

Suguru points a finger at her, silently agreeing with what she said.

“You’re both the worst” Satoru mutters, earning a laugh from his friends.

“You’re worried she’s with a guy?” Shoko muses, her eyes wandering over Suguru’s plate, trying to decide on what to steal next.

Suguru lets out a whistle, an amused smile on his face.

“Did she say something about a guy?” He asks before Satoru can.

“Maybe,” Shoko replies, eyeing a juicy looking piece of beef, and plucking it up before Suguru’s chopsticks can beat her to it. “Maybe not”

Satoru’s jaw is locked in place, and he feels his eye start to twitch like it had the day he approached Haibara. Meanwhile, Suguru is laughing, like he’s excited to hear such news.

“(y/n) with a non-sorcerer?” He thinks aloud. He’s laughing so much his shoulders are shaking. Satoru thinks about smacking him upside the head. “How fascinating”

“She’s not seeing a guy,” The white haired sorcerer snaps. “She would have said something”

Shoko scoffs.

“Not likely”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because she’s always been private about her romantic interests?” Her voice tilts as though asking a question, as though it was an obvious answer. “I swear I’ve had to pry it out of her”

“Oh do tell” Suguru purrs, leaning over the table curiously.

“Or don’t,” Satoru grumbles. “I’d like to keep my lunch inside of me, thank you”

“Don’t be such a jealous bore,” Suguru waves a dismissive hand towards his friend, before turning back to Shoko. “So, who has she been with? Because I would just love to hear about a few of those little underclassmen in the sack”

Shoko giggles, reaching over to snatch the cigarette that had been ignored in his fingers for far too long.

“I wouldn’t be a good friend if I told,” She winked. “You’ll just have to sleep with them to see for yourself”

“You’re both insufferable, you know that?”

“Speak for yourself” Suguru replies.

“I’m a little curious about Ijichi, though. What do you think?” Shoko ponders, to no one in particular.

Suguru hums thoughtfully.

“So you have no idea where (y/n) is, or what she’s been up to, but she’s been sneaking off for the last week?”

“We never said she was sneaking off” Suguru shrugs a shoulder.

“Oh, I would,” Shoko speaks up, blowing out a plume of smoke. “Saw her sneaking back in on Friday”

Suguru raises an intrigued brow.

“Late?” He presumes.

She nods, a small smirk on her lips.

“Almost midnight”

Suguru whistles again.

Satoru was getting tired of their gossip that led nowhere. They could both tell that he was annoyed, they just didn’t care enough to drop the topic. It was fun after all, getting him riled up. It was also fun to chat about what they thought she was up to.

“Definitely a booty call, then,” Suguru decides, snatching a piece of beef off his plate before Shoko could. “Why else would she be slinking around so late?” He ponders.

Satoru can’t wrap his head around (y/n) sneaking out to hook up with some nobody in Tokyo. How would she have even met this person? And she didn’t seem the type to have some meaningless fling. But perhaps that was all the more reason for her to have one? The secrecy of it all gnawed at him, made him queasy. He ran a hand through his hair stressfully.

“Come to think of it, a few weeks ago I also saw her get in pretty late. Not that late, but it was probably around ten o’clock” Suguru pursed his lips as he thought about it, knowing full well that she had in fact been sneaking around.

But he didn’t have to share that information just yet. Making Satoru squirm was far too entertaining.

Satoru suddenly stood from his seat. Both of his friends watched him curiously, wondering if he was going to blow up or just storm off.

He turns to walk off, but before he can get too far, Shoko speaks up.

“I wouldn’t go after her”

Satoru turns around, crossing his arms over his chest.

“And why shouldn’t I?”

“Tch, isn’t it obvious?” Suguru scoffs. “If you go after her now, and catch her in- well whatever or whoever she’s up to, she’ll be pissed”

Satoru grinds his teeth, not wanting to admit out loud that his friends were right. Even though they all knew it.

“You don’t want to piss her off,” Shoko chuckles, stumping the embers off the butt of her cigarette on the wood table. “(y/n’s) fiery when she’s angry,” She lets out a short chuckle as though she were recalling her own experience with upsetting the girl. “But, maybe you’d like that” She adds with a little smirk.

Suguru snickers across from her.

Satoru’s jaw finally relaxes. And then in a blink, he was no longer standing before them. They don’t know where he teleported off to, but their focus shifts right back to the lunch before them.

“You really think (y/n’s) got a hookup in town?” Suguru asks.

Shoko shrugs.

“Don’t have another explanation for it. You?”

“Yeah. Me neither,” He agrees. “You think Satoru’s gonna go track the poor fucker down?”

“Yep”

“Yeah. Me too” ___

In fact, Gojo Satoru hadn’t teleported himself into Tokyo. His friends had gotten too in his head for him to go searching for (y/n). No matter how much his curiosity was eating him alive wondering what she could be up to, he was more afraid of losing her in the long run if he stuck his nose in her business. He’d have to figure out some other way to get her to fess up.

He’d just gotten too annoyed with his friends, so he’d teleported himself into the school, and as soon as his feet touched ground, his fist was launching into the wall. The wood splintered and cracked, but luckily he hadn’t fully punched through it. Yaga would probably be upset.

Shaking out his now sore and bruised hand, he looked over, realizing he hadn’t chosen an empty hallway to punch out his frustrations.

Nanami Kento stood there, just a few feet away. His face expressionless, but still staring at the sight before him inquisitively.

“Something bothering you?” He asked, his voice monotone. Satoru sneered back at the sarcastic remark.

“Mind your business”

“You’re the one that showed up in front of me and started punching” Nanami scoffed.

Alright. That was true.

“Whatever” He muttered.

“Why would you punch something without your infinity up?” Nanami asks, his head nodding to the bloodied knuckles of Satoru’s hand. “Doesn’t that hurt?”

Satoru wants to repeat himself, tell him to mind his business, flip him the middle finger and storm off, but for some reason, he chuckles.

“Yeah, it does,” He answered. “Guess I was too angry”

The blonde sorcerer hummed, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“You’re going to leave Yu alone, right?” He changes the topic, taking a few steps forward.

Satoru looks him up and down, raising a brow curiously.

“What, you got a reason why I should?” He asks.

Honestly, Satoru had no intention of going after the younger sorcerer anymore than he already had. Even if by some landslide (y/n) decided he was her dream man, he would leave him alone. But Nanami’s question sparked an interest in him.

“Besides the fact that he hasn’t done anything wrong?” Nanami quips back, his voice never wavering above it’s steady tone.

Satoru chuckles, and shakes his head.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna kill your friend just cause he sticks his business where it doesn’t belong”

“Hypocrite” Nanami bites back.

“Me?” Satoru laughs again, but this time it’s humorless. Irritated. “I’m the hypocrite?”

“You’re the one that barged in on us, demanding him to tell you about his encounter with her. You’re the one that was acting like a dog marking it’s territory”

Satoru’s interest in this conversation was quickly turning to rage. He should have just told Nanami that he had no qualms with Haibara Yu, but now it was too late, and he was getting pissed off.

He takes a long stride forward, his eyes hardening.

“Are you calling her my territory?” He asks, voice losing it’s playful tone as it lowers.

Nanami knew that if they were to get into a fight right now, he was bound to lose in a mere second. But he was protective of his friend, and this conflict was pointless.

That said, Gojo Satoru was starting to get on his nerves, walking around like he could act however he wanted, treat people however he wanted, Haibara and (y/n) alike. Yu hadn’t crossed any lines, and despite how the Six Eyes user may feel, (y/n) wasn’t spoken for.

“I’m saying (y/n) isn’t spoken for,” Nanami voices his thoughts, even though deep down, the instinct in his blood told him to back off before this got ugly. “She doesn’t belong to anyone,”

Satoru is all but oozing his jealousy. He’s glaring at him, his chest puffed, his hands in fists at his sides. Nanami would have laughed had he not been completely serious.

“And if she were here, she’d probably tell you so” He finished.

They stand in silence for a minute.

One of them glaring, huffing in annoyance.

The other is calm, collected, unwavering in his stance.

The silence is long, and deafening. Until Nanami finally walks away, without a word, without a second glance back, he leaves Satoru alone in the hall. His work feels completed. Haibara Yu shouldn’t have any issue with the older, more experienced sorcerer again. He’s not sure if he’s solved any conflict for (y/n) (y/l/n) or made it worse, but he feels little to no care if he’s disturbed her relationship with Gojo Satoru.

However, as he leaves, there’s a slight nag in the back of his mind. A worry that he’d done her a disservice by speaking on her behalf. He tries to brush it off.

Suddenly he’s reminded of the way she’d thanked him that morning, for keeping a small secret for her. If he could even call it a secret, it’s not as though he’d known what she was up to at the crack of dawn, and he’s not even sure why he cared to keep that to himself now, even when he could have used it to get under Gojo’s skin. Something told him not to bring it up, for her sake.

Nanami Kento didn’t know (y/n) well, she was a year above him after all, so the only time he’d spent any time with her at all was during the Exchange Event with the Kyoto school. Even then, all he could gather on her was that she was a very skilled, very thoughtful fighter. It wasn’t like there was any spare time to get to know her better. So he doesn’t know why he’d chosen to keep her secret.

Perhaps Yu had spoken too fondly of her as of late, and it had gotten to his head. ___

(y/n) had spent all day chatting with Tsumiki, about anything and everything she’d wanted to talk about. They talked about school, what manga she was reading, what friends she had hung out with as of late, the conversation seemed to flow with ease. (y/n) was grateful that the young girl had forgiven her, seemingly easily, and she made sure to assure her that she would never go back on her word again.

They’re sitting on the couch in the living room together when (y/n) tells her this.

“I know, (y/n). It’s okay” Tsumiki had said.

“I know you say that,” (y/n) had spoken seriously, the light mood in the living room suddenly warping. “But I want you to know that I mean it. When I make a promise about something, I won’t ever go back on it. Not with you. Not again”

Tsumiki nods, giving her a small smile. She seems to understand how important it was for (y/n), so she decides to treat it with importance too.

“I think Megumi was a little upset,” She admits, quietly.

(y/n) nods in agreement. She’d already gotten that feeling, since he hadn’t left his room, even when she’d brought him a donut for breakfast. It had been hours since she’d arrived at the Fushiguro house, and he was still holed up in there.

“He didn’t say anything,” Tsumiki continues. “But he gets quiet when he’s upset. Even though he’s always quiet”

(y/n) chuckles softly.

“I don’t blame him for being upset with me,” She replies. “If he doesn’t want to talk to me, that’s alright. It won’t bother me”

It’s quiet. Tsumiki plays with the hem of her dress while (y/n) pensively glances out the window. She means what she said, but she hopes that Megumi would crawl out of his shell soon, so that she could properly apologize to him.

“(y/n)?”

The sorcerer hums, looking back over to the child.

“It’s been really nice… having you around,” Tsumiki says, so soft that she’s almost whispering. She’s still staring down at the skirt of her dress, held tightly in her small hands. “I’m really glad you found us”

Her heart swells with so much love that (y/n) can’t help but grin. She reaches out, tucking a loose strand of brown hair behind her ear, before smoothing her hand over the back of her head.

“I’m glad I found you too, Tsumiki,” She tells her. “I hope you know you can always ask me for anything. Whatever it is, I’ll do anything I can to do it for you. Okay?”

Tsumiki nods, her cheeks blossoming with pink as she smiles back at her.

“I should probably go bug your brother,” (y/n) sighs, dropping her hand and leaning back in her seat. “He’s not going to be happy with me, is he?”

Tsumiki giggles, shaking her head.

“If you hear me screaming for help, come save me?”

Still giggling, the nine year old nods this time, and (y/n) smiles playfully back at her, before standing from the sofa.

Making her way down the hall and to the front of Megumi’s closed door, she takes in a deep breath, knowing he will be harder to crack than his sister. Megumi had always been more reserved, even when he opened up to her it was always by handing out scraps. She wanted to make this right. He deserved that much.

She knocks gently on the wood.

“Megumi?” She calls, before knocking again. “Can I come in”

It’s quiet for a beat. Before she hears a small, “Fine”

Still, as she opens the door, she’s slow, and she doesn’t step inside right away.

Megumi is sitting on the floor with his back against his bed. He’s reading Charlotte’s Web again, the book propped open in his lap. (y/n) wonders how many times he’s read it now, and her heart weakens a little at the realization why he held such an attachment to it.

But she can’t cry for him, not right now. Right now he needed to see that she was strong, and she was here because she wanted to be strong for him, for both of them.

“What have you been up to today?” She asks, leaning against the doorframe.

The boy doesn’t answer aloud. He simply holds his book up, before placing it back in his lap.

“Reading?”

He blinks at her.

“That’s good. I was too much of a brat as a kid to enjoy reading. But it’s a good hobby. For smart kids”

“You’re saying you weren’t a smart kid?” He asks. (y/n) chuckles, shaking her head.

“Absolutely not,” She admits. “I was a troublemaker. I get the feeling you wouldn’t have liked me if you’d known me back then,” She tells him.

Young Megumi’s eyes are wide. He’s shocked to hear someone say such a thing. He’d never thought an adult would admit something so silly. Usually adults always acted like they were perfect, and they knew best.

He supposed he already knew (y/n) was different. She wasn’t like other adults, probably because she wasn’t quite yet a real adult herself.

“Not that I assume you like me now,” She continues, only half teasing. “But I think you would, if you got to know me better,”

Megumi drops his head, staring down at the pages of his book. He picks at the edge of it’s worn spine.

(y/n) tilts her head to the side, watching him thoughtfully for a moment, giving him a minute to take in everything she’d said before she continued.

Megumi and his sister were vastly different, for as close as they were. Tsumiki was bubbly, chatty, happy to get to know anyone and happy to let anyone get to know her. Megumi was quite the opposite. He wasn’t shy, but he was more reserved than any other eight year old (y/n) had met. He didn’t want to open up, seemingly ever, and he also didn’t show much interest in other people opening up either.

“Megumi, if I ask you something, do you think you could be honest with me?” Her question is carefully worded, hoping that he could see she was trying to present an olive branch.

He looks up at her, thinking for a moment, before nodding his head.

“Are you upset with me for not coming by yesterday?” She asks, tilting her towards her shoulder.

“You don’t owe us anything,” Megumi answers, dropping his eyes to his book again. “You don’t have to come here. You don’t know us” He pauses, his fingers tugging roughly at the spine of his book now.

(y/n) steps inside then, crossing the room to kneel down in front of him. Her hands gently wrapped around his, stopping him from damaging his book further.

Megumi freezes, but he doesn’t push her away, and doesn’t snap out of irritated protest. (y/n) realizes she’s never touched him before, and she wasn’t sure when the last time someone could have touched him gently, affectionately. His father surely wasn’t the type, and she didn’t know how long his mother had been out of the picture.

She wraps her hands around his small one more securely, pulling it away from the book. He’s staring at her hands as though it was his first time seeing them. When she looks at him, she can see his eyes have a gloss to them.

“That isn’t what I asked,” She reminds him. “It’s okay if you’re upset with me, you know. You’re allowed to be”

He looks at her now, his little eyebrows pinched together as he tries to figure out what he’s supposed to say.

And then he remembers that she asked him to be honest, and he supposes he has no reason not to be.

“I shouldn’t be upset,” He huffs. “You’re not our family. And I should have never expected you to stick around anyways. No one sticks around”

(y/n) shuffles to sit beside him, with her back pressed to his bed. She lets go of his hand to take his book away, marking the page before setting it down on the floor in front of them.

“You’re right,” She hums, thoughtfully. “I’m not your family, and I don’t need you to treat me as such,” She adds. “But Megumi, I want you to know, that I will always come back,”

He blinks at her, his eyes filling with more tears.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m sticking around whether you want me to or not. And I need you to believe me when I tell you that,”

(y/n) feels herself get choked up as well, but she clears her throat and wills her eyes to dry. This wasn’t about her.

“If only you knew how long I looked for you,” She confesses, placing a hand on his unruly head of hair, ruffling it playfully. “Once I knew you guys were out there somewhere, on your own, I didn’t stop. I never rested. And to be honest, I still don’t. I probably never will,”

Megumi sniffled, and wiped his eyes on his arm. (y/n) dropped her hand from his hair, smiling softly at him.

“You’re important to me,” She tells him. “Even when you’re being a little shit,” She adds in a teasing voice.

Megumi’s eyes widened at the curse word, in disbelief she would say such a thing to a kid, even if it was true. She chuckles at his reaction.

“I’m so sorry that I didn’t come yesterday,” She hums. “I should have been here. I told you I would be, and I should have. It’s not okay that I lied to you. And I will never lie to you again, alright?”

He nods his head in a small action. A tear slips down his cheek.

“I’m really proud of you for getting all of your schoolwork done,” She says. “I’m really proud of you for being so grown up, and taking care of yourselves all this time,” She adds. “You’re a brave kid, Megumi. Probably the toughest I’ve ever met,”

More tears pool out of his eyes, dripping off his eyelashes and splashing down his cheeks, staining his shirt. He’s sniffling as he cries, and he’s given up on trying to wipe away all of his tears. They’re falling too fast for him to catch them all.

“And I promise I’ll always be here for you,” (y/n) reaches a hand out, cupping his small face and wiping away his tears with the pad of her thumb. “Always. Okay? For anything you need. You understand?”

“Okay” Megumi’s voice cracks.

His eyes shut tight, and before (y/n) can reach her other hand out to dry his other cheek, he launches forward. His arms reach around her back, grabbing the back of her shirt as he hugs her tightly, crying into her sweater.

(y/n) looks down at him for a second, taken aback by the sudden action. But she snaps herself out of her surprise, wrapping her arms around his small frame, and hugging him closely. She held on as tightly as he held onto her.

He’s shaking slightly. She rubs his back in smooth, slow circles, resting her chin on the top of his head as she soothes him quietly.

It’s several minutes before he stops crying, but even still, he remains in her hold for a little longer. (y/n) doesn’t mind. She’d sit here with him for the rest of her day if she had to. She’d do anything to put him at ease.

She’d do anything to build a home for these kids. It dawns on her now, something Megumi had said about her not being family. Perhaps they weren’t by blood, but still her heart grew and ached for these kids. They were like family to her.

They spend the rest of the day together relaxing, watching funny movies and eating snacks. (y/n) makes them a big dinner, with plenty of leftovers for them to heat up throughout the next few days if she can't stop by. She makes them promise they’ll eat the vegetables even if she’s not around.

That night when she puts them to bed, Megumi crawls into Tsumiki’s bed, happily listening to (y/n) read the next chapter of Charlotte’s Web, even if he’d already read it countless times. He falls asleep in Tsumiki’s bed.

(y/n) brushes their hair from their foreheads so it wouldn’t tickle them in their sleep. She leaves the room silently. When she gets outside, she says the incantation to lower the protective curtain.

Her walk home feels more quiet than usual. Her thoughts aren’t buzzing with paranoia of getting back so late, or worry that she was overstepping in the Fushiguro’s lives.

She felt content. Calm. All she could hope was that her kids had a good night’s sleep, and that the next time she saw them they had nothing but good things to share with her. ___

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xoxo - jordie

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kadextra · 7 months

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I’m very not normal about the q!Tina & q!Bad conversation, it’s insane how they confided in each other so much.

q!Tina opened up about how horrible she feels, like she doesn’t belong... how nobody cares to tell her anything. how she feels so alone, not seen for who she really is or what she’s really capable of. Not trusted. she was actually crying in some moments.

and then q!Bad, notorious liar proved her wrong by shockingly allowing her see inside the guarded walls he had built. voice sobering as he dropped bombshell truths on her that he has told nobody else- like how he’s torturing himself (everyone watching was in shock at this admission) and revealing some details of his plans. talking about how he’s hurting so much from so so many different things…

They confided in each other about their mutual desire to be appreciated, bonded over wanting the eggs come back, and what they’d be willing to do in making those hopes come true. He tested her resolve, they learned a lot about the other, and all with no judgement- only understanding. “oh, here is someone who feels the same way I do!”

This was a decisive conversation that’s changed the future of these characters from here on out, now they’re closely intertwined as allies. trust is something that both feel strongly about, so they know full well that they must never betray the valuable trust they were given.

q!Bad has found someone to confide in so he doesn’t have to feel as lonely anymore. q!Tina has found someplace she belongs.

She is willing to be a part of his carefully calculated forest fire- even if it causes her to also be burned in the glorious blaze of destruction… because at least it feels warm. at least they’ll be sinking down to hell with company. hopefully they’ll arrive to a place where the grass is greener

#qsmp #qsmp tina #qsmp badboyhalo #i can’t move on from it 👍#she has been so concerned about her friend for a long time #they have spent a lot of time hanging out together in hours of the night #they argue with each other but they CARE so much #and finally. finally she was let in #Literally go watch it if you haven’t istg it was so good #text post

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smirkingkitten · 5 months

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Reading list November 2023

It's December and that doesn't just mean the Christmas season starts and it's the time for cozy evenings with candles, blankets and a hot chocolate, but also: it's time for another reading list.

It feels like it's been so long since Loki graced us with a new episode every week. I'm still not quite over the ending, although this interview did heal my poor heart a little, if only just a bit. I hope you're coping well with the ending. And now, happy reading.

✨And don't forget to reblog the storys you read to support all these lovely writers.✨

My other Reading lists can be found in my Fanfiction Bookshelf.

Series | Collections | Multi Parts

The Redbridge Hunts @fanficshiddles

8 Chapters (on going) | Vampire!Loki | fluff

prev. | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8

Summary: Claire moves to Demsdale to take up a new job as an assistant teacher for one Loki Laufeyson. She's also very intrigued with all of the rumours within the borough of Redbridge. However, as she starts to fall for Loki's charm and good looks, she also learns that all of the rumours might not just be rumours after all.

Double Cross @gigglingtiggerv2

12 chapters (on going) | Jaguar Villain!Tom | dark, smut

Summary: In Dante’s inferno, the Eighth Circle of Hell was reserved for liars, panderers, thieves and murderers. For the criminal underworld it is an opulent London club, representing neutral territory where deals can be made, grievances aired and scores settled.

For the owner, Thomas Cross, it is his own private kingdom, one where he makes the rules and wields absolute authority. Recently, however, that authority has come under threat. In order to maintain his standing and the Club’s ruthless reputation, it is imperative he find the perpetrator.

In this violent place, where lies are currency and everyone has their own agenda, who can he trust? Certainly not Verity Williams, the talented thief who has her own reasons for infiltrating his organisation.

Neither can deny the sparks that fly whenever they’re together, but if he’s not careful, will those sparks burn down everything he’s created?

Déchiré @ijuststareatstuffhereok89

7 chapters (on going) | Loki, Bucky, Captain America | smut

You are a HYDRA agent sent to infiltrate the notorious Avengers, to tear them apart in the worst way possible in order to make them vulnerable to attack. In the midst of the wild heat you generate, three suitors take your bait.

One Shots

Firestarter @delaber

4,2k | AvengersMovie!Loki | smut, hatefucking

Rule Number One @just-the-hiddles

medium | Jonathan Pine | smut, dom/sub, daddy, spanking

Gorgeous @ghostofskywalker

1,2k | Avenger!Loki | fluff

Heavy Petting @wheredafandomat

800 | Loki | smut

I gave your girlfriend cunnilingus on my couch @wheredafandomat

short | Loki | smut, oral (f reserving)

Aftercare @sarahscribbles

680 | Loki | fluff, spicy

If I was your best friend @wheredafandomat

medium | Loki | smut

Worshiped by a God @sarahscribbles

1,1k | Loki | fluff, smut

Best of Friends @just-the-hiddles

long | Actor!Tom Hiddleston | fluff, friends to lovers

Duty of Care @muddyorbsblr

1,9k | Jonathan Pine | smut, fluff

Winter Warmers: A Winters Night on Asgard @lokischambermaid

930 | Asgard!Loki | fluff

The Sandwich Incident @holdmytesseract

1,2k | Tom Hiddleston | fluff, humour

My Girl @lokisgoodgirl

1,8k | Avenger!Loki | smut, man-bun

Lactation @viviluvssmut

1k | Loki | smut, oral (f reserving)

Drabbles

Don't Move, Darling @sarahscribbles

1,1k | Loki | smut, teasing, edging

Time slipping @wheredafandomat

600 | TVA Loki | smut, hurt/comfort

praise kink, gagging, hickies @ragnarachael

short | Jonathan Pine | smut, daddy kink

Headcanons

Loki and the Watcher @benevolentgodloki

✨Happy reading 😊✨

Back to my Fanfiction Bookshelf

Many of the fanfictions are 18+, so if you're under 18, don't read them.

#tom hiddleston #hiddleston #fanfiction #multi chapter #one shot #drabble #headconon #loki #loki laufeyson #fluff #loki fluff #loki smut #smut #fic recs

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antikate · 7 months

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I genuinely think romance is a deeply underrated genre that is sneered upon because of its associations with femininity; I think it’s utopian and hopeful and worthwhile and I crave good romance stories. At the same time I hate most romance novels that I try to read.

I had Covid this week and for a few days was too sick to even look at a book or screen so I downloaded a bunch of audiobooks from the library and I gave up on every single one of them:

1. Notorious by Minerva Spencer. I noped out of this a few pages in when one character was described as delectable and luscious and another character’s eyes were described as orbs. The book also comes with a whole heaping of misogyny and Islamophobia apparently.

2. Georgie All Along by Kate Clayborn. The first ??? 20 ??? Or so pages of this book consist of the heroine back in her home town and going into a deli to order a coffee and not having enough money to pay for it because she left her wallet in the car. 20 pages!!! It’s humiliating and is literally like being stuck in the head of the most neurotic person you’ve ever met. Page after page of this woman ruminating about what a loser she is. Exhausting! And I say this as someone who can ruminate at the Olympic level.

3. Pretty Pretty Boys by Gregory Ashe. This one is an m/m series about two cops who fall in love and I had hopes that it might be solid but the characterization was basically “whatever the author felt like writing”. Also the cops act like cops as in they’re abusive to random people and spend a lot of time being horrible, which I don’t really need in a romance.

4. Not Your Average Hot Guy, Gwenda Bond. Idk this was just. A bit? Boring? Also everyone was just a bit too self consciously sassy. The heroine runs an escape room but one of her props turns out to be actually a demonic book. I think one of my issues with this book and so many other romance novels is that banter is a real skill and most people can’t write it. But everyone, regretfully, tries.

5. Liar City, Allie Therin. There’s this one audiobook narrator who has such a snotty voice that I just cannot. This book might have been great but the instant I started listening I knew it was that dude. Maybe I’ll try it as an actual book.

6. The Blacksmith Queen by GA Aiken. This is one of the worst books I’ve ever tried to read. Truly. The heroine is a blacksmith and the hero is a centaur, which I thought sounded fun (also I was wondering how they’d have sex because I’m like that) but it was … puerile? Astonishingly stupid?

7.Capture the Crown, Jennifer Estep. This is also an absolutely idiotic book. The hero has amethyst eyes and the heroine has some other gem coloured eyes and someone else has sapphire eyes and if you took a shot every time it someone’s eye colour was described as a jewel tone you’d be hospitalised for alcohol poisoning by about page four.

8. A taste of gold and iron, Alex Rowland. This is decently written - as in the prose is solid - but the plot is half baked, the characters are tedious, and the world building is intriguing but paper thin. I’d say it’s a much better book than most here, but I still couldn’t bring myself to finish.

Not everything I’d read lately has been terrible so here’s some romance or romance adjacent books I have actually enjoyed:

1. The Heart Principle by Helen Hoang: This book is not going to change your life but it does what sets out to do with a slight if entertaining love story.

2. The Secret Lives of County Gentlemen, KJ Charles: I think Charles is one of the best and smartest historical romance writers I’ve ever read. Her books are everything I want out of romance: the characters are interesting, idiosyncratic, and sympathetic; the details feel right; the stories work; and the sex scenes are both hot and do important plot and character work. Her books are swoony and emotional and feel very real while still being romantic. (The audio narrator of this let it down a little because he took a lot of odd pauses but I’m being super nitpicky.)

3. A Far Wilder Magic, Allison Saft: This is a sweet YA novel set in an interesting fantasy world - I really enjoyed the prickly heroine and her dog.

4. In Memoriam, Alice Winn: This beautiful, heart-rending novel is not exactly a romance - it’s set during WW1 and has very explicit and realistic scenes set in the trenches. The trauma and suffering of the war are achingly portrayed. But it is a love story between two young soldiers, even if it’s not necessarily one with an easy or simple ending. Highly recommend with the caveat that Winn does not shy away from the brutality and senselessness of WW1.

5. Thornhedge, by T Kingfisher: This is a brief but resonant Sleeping Beauty retelling. Not exactly a romance but also not unromantic. My only complaint is that I wanted more. I’m a big T Kingfisher fan, and I adore her practical, earthy characters (like Toadling).

6. We Could Be So Good, Cat Sebastian: I’m here for everything Sebastian writes. Her books are low stakes but still compelling, her characters are likeable and complex, I actually enjoy her banter, and she has a knack for capturing historical details and moments. Her conflicts never feel fake and the resolutions are always earned.

#book reviews #books #from the trenches of Covid #complaining about romance novels #the author is open to recommendations

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vinetae · 1 year

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Alice's Game

This is a game.

And you must win.

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙿𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕!𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛, 𝙲𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚜, 𝙼𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚛!𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚓𝚘𝚘𝚗, 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎!𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚜, 𝙿𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚝!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝟷𝟾+ 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚏𝚏. 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚜, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚎. 𝙲𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚋𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚖! (𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎), 𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚖𝚞𝚝, 𝙵𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚕𝚎𝚜, 𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜, 𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚌𝚛𝚞𝚍𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚜, 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚕 𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚐𝚎.

𝙰/𝚗: 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎, 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝙶𝙾𝙳; 𝙳𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚆𝙸𝙻𝙻 𝚐𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝙰𝙲𝚃𝚄𝙰𝙻 𝚓𝚊𝚒𝚕.

This was a request from a friend of mine, and so I decided to try my hand at yandere things and psycho-killer themes. She's not on Tumblr, but says Hi! <3

Heavily inspired by: @dovechim - Lost In The Funhouse

Go follow them, they're amazing!! <3

Comment if you'd like to be added to the taglist ☺

:readmore:

Drip

The black molded floor sinks in. The ropes snaked around tightly your limbs, a small tear slipped from your duct.

Drip

It was so perfect. Graduate college, work in the psych ward, settle down in a little town with two or three kids.

Nowhere in the planner had ‘get kidnapped by your own patient’ penned in.

Clicking on your red pumps echo through the long hallway. The stench of cigarettes, drugs, and something not so moral wash over your senses. Down the hall, several doors lock themselves tightly away from any human contact. Protecting the people outside of it, more so than what’s inside.

“Remember, no touching. You get 20 minutes, then you’ll hear the buzzer go off. He’ll be chained to the chair, so you don’t have anything to worry about. We’ve also installed cameras on the entire floor and rooms for the patients’ safety.

Yeah right. You think.

They only take these monsters away because they’re scared. You see, the most notorious, psychopaths and murderers have no fear. From the amount of childhood trauma and mental disorders swirling their brains distracts them from any fear they could have. Neurotypicals such as you had something they could only mirror. Never truly experienced.

Emotion.

The buzzer alarms. You walk inside the dark room, eyes adjusting to the bright fluorescent light hanging above a metal table. You look a little closer, gasping quietly at his appearance.

You dealt with plenty of psychos in your life. Your father had -unfortunately- been one of the many you came to study in your adult-age. Your mother, a narcissistic pathological liar, has been anything but helpful to your own past. As a child, you lived in constant fear. While kids your age had been going to the park to eat ice cream with their parents, yours had been hunting your innocence and soul both mentally and physically. At the ripe age of 9, you’d decided that you wouldn’t take their shit anymore.

Maturity didn’t make you grow up fast.

It was fear.

Fear of waking up with your father standing over your bed, knife in hand as blood trickled down the sheen of metal. Heavy grunts and heaves exile his chest. His crusted beard and shattered glasses hang his expressions.

Only, he had no emotion.

You figured that out very quickly on your 5th birthday. As curious children wander, you had two makeshift barbies in hand. Your colored two ponytails your half-sober mother had lazily put up when she had been in a good mood. The old wooden creaked open as you fell back on your behind.

Father had been yelling at your mother -as per usual- about something and something. Most of your childhood had been extremely vague. Later on, you found out from your psychology class that the brain subconscious avoids pain of any kind. Your brain had blocked the horrid memories. Only allowing you to remember certain things when it thought you could handle it.

That’s why you’d joked between your colleagues that your brain had been your parent.

The door creaked open, revealing the rotting stench of what had seemed to be deer and rabbits. You fell to the floor, silently crying out for the animals your father had mutilated.

That wasn’t even the worst part.

You glance over, sniffling as your child-like innocence sets itself on a blood-shot red table. Obviously the smell is emitting from that more than anything. You scooted a chair over to get a closer look, screaming as your eyes set on the mutilated, poked, prodded, and bloodied human limbs.

A head stares back at you, laid lifelessly on the table. The eyes had been gouged out, while flesh had been ripped off. A ear lays next to your arm. Stitched with some kind of black thread, then ripped apart once more. Anything you’d seen in your teen years on horror movies had nothing against this.

Boots clack against the old wooden floors.

“Doctor? Are you alright?” The guard’s firm but caring tone pulls you from the horrid thoughts. You nod, embarrassingly pushing your black frame glasses higher up to the bridge of your nose, preparing to get to the bottom of what made this man tick.

“Are you ready?” He asks, as you nod once more.

The buzzer sounds.

His dry grin creeps the corner of his lips.

“Well hello, pretty thing.”

You chuckle at the silly nickname, keeping your professional stance as you take a seat in the chair across from his. You take notice of his situation. A white straight jacket wraps his built figure. Black, greasy locks fall effortlessly in front of his intimidating eyes. The fluorescent light brightens up his skin even more, every freckle and mole visible on his porcelain like skin.

You’d seen a lot of mediocre good-looking patients but they had nothing on this man.

Pulling your professional mask back on, you flip through his papers, glancing between the two.

Cherry red lips..

“Kim Namjoon.” You read.

A well built frame. Muscles as big as your whole head-

“No need for formalities, darling.” he leans closer, staring you down through his luscious eyelashes.

“It’s just Namjoon, sweets.” He leans back, a bored expression plays on his face.

You chuckle, flipping through more of his paperwork they’d provided you days beforehand. Of course you’d skimmed through it, but you want to make this at least a bit more comfortable without having to look in his enticing chocolate irises.

_____________________________________________________________

Case #: 2918 Page: 9

Date: June 2nd, 2019.

Last Name: Kim First Name: Namjoon Middle: -none-

Race: Asian.

DOB: Sep 12th, 1994.

Details of case: Genocide, use of illegal drugs, Man slaughter, homicide.

Weapon(s) involved: C13H16CINO - Ketamine usage. Dimethoxyethane (DME) usage.

Habits of patient: Grinding teeth, untimely laughing fits, manipulation, gaslighting,-

_____________________________________________________________

One word has caught your attention.

Persuasion.

He chuckles at your facial expression. You cleared your throat, focusing your attention back onto the subject.

“You have quite the resume, Mr. Kim” He chuckles, leaning against the metal chair’s back end. A glimmer of curiosity peaks his irises.

“Only the best for you, Doc.” You chuckle, shaking your head softly at the teases. You reach into your pocket, sliding the recording device across the table to land between you two. You click your pen, glancing at his bored expression.

“Any time, Mister Kim.”

Once the session's finished, you start to pack your belongings, making sure the recording device is safely tucked beteen you leather breifcase pouch.

"See you later, Little Alice." He replies, watching as you pack more of your things into what small leather briefcase you'd been carrying around. You nod, still having a weird feeling in the pit of your stomache.

"Can I help you?" You ask quietly. He lets out a dark chuckle.

"More than you know, Doll." You roll your eyes, before turning back to face him.

"My name's not Alice, by the way." He hums, leaning against the back of his chair.

"I'm aware, Miss Y/n".

How'd he know your name? It's not like you wear a nametag.

He stands, stalking over to your figure.

He chuckles at your cuteness.

You stand your ground, fixing your posture to seem big.

It didn't work.

No amount of heels could ever make you feel equal to this man. Not only was he one of the most notorious serial killers, he was freakishly tall.

You words catch in the back of your throat.

"Why did you call me Alice, then?"

He smirks, doing a one-over on your whole body.

"Because," He steps closer. If it hadn't been for the straight jacket, he'd have you up against the wall, screaming for him to fuck you by now.

"You like sticking your nose where it doesn't belong."

You huff at his harsh tone.

"And why doesn't my nose belong here?"

He smirks, leaning to the side of your cheek, his hot breath dances lightly on the skin of your lobe.

"Because this is not a place for purity, darling."

You huff.

"I am not purity, Kim." He smiles, walking back over to the chair he'd originally been sat in.

"And I'm not a psycho-killer." He watches as the pink creeps up your face like a child trying to make it past their parents bedroom on Christmas day.

Grabbing the rest of your things, you both hear the buzzing of the door, watching as it opens to reveal two men here to escort you out.

"See you tomorrow." You call back, while making your way out of the room.

This, was going to be fun.

The buzzer sounds once more. The same routine you’d adjusted to for around a week now. Every day, you’d come into the asylum to check on Namjoon. Sadly, you had only gotten so far as learning what you’d already known. His name, family (or lack of), favorite ways to torture his victims, etc. You’d gotten nowhere, and your deadline was this month. You had to figure out some way of helping him open up.

Your white pencil skirt creeps up the length of your legs every step you take. Thankfully, you’d chosen to wear black shorts under the skirt as always. The black silk button-up you’d picked from a thrift store lays lazily against your risen bosom. The small accentuates of jewelry decorate your typical appearance.

You walk into the room you’d now referred to as being your ‘office’ mainly because of how many times you'd been here instead of actually being at corp. You noticing as they bring in Namjoon. The straight jacket still wound tightly around his figure. He plops down harshly on the metal chair, the straps lock his limbs down firmly. Once the guard shuts the door behind him, Namjoon glances through his thick eyebrows to your delicate looking figure. The simple gold necklace eases the hard look of your thick black glasses. A small chuckle escapes his chest.

“What are those for?” You motion to his forearm, noticing a large incision about the size of a pencil spayed heavily on the surface of his forearm. Dried blood clings to the wound.

“Why so many questions?” You mentally roll your eyes at his comment. You lean forward, the dip of your shirt peaking just enough to give him an accidental taste of what he couldn’t touch.

“Mister Kim, I’m trying to help you.” He scoffs, looking off into the distance to the corner behind you.

“Sweetheart, I don’t need your help.” You offer a small grin, to which he barely returns.

More, Y/n. Come on..

You lean forward some more, now giving him a full display of the dips of your laced breasts on full display for his viewing pleasure.

“Listen. You’re right. You don’t need my help. But,” Your so close to proximity, that you can feel both lines of breath starting to mix. A dangerous concoction indeed.

“You want it.”

To that, he chuckles at your ignorance.

“No, Alice, dear.” He leans forward to meet your own posture.

“You want it.” He leans back, enjoying the view you’re still providing.

“Sweet, innocent girl. So,” His lips are so close to yours. Your breath staggers in pitch at his closeness. You’re seducing a serial killer. How fucked up is that?

“Very,” His smirk plasters his face before banging his forehead into yours.

“Foolish.”

“Fuck!” You curse.

His words are harsh, you fall backwards, holding the bruised spot starting to welt. You pierce his gaze, a crazy look remains in his gleam.

The guards come rushing in to restrain him, as they escort you out. His voice rings through the dark room, reminding you of everything you tried to forget.

“Might as well just crawl back to daddy if you really wanna study a psychopath, darling!”

Jimin sighs, cleaning the gash around your forehead.

“That fucker” He mumbles, cursing under his breath as your mind’s too busy with reenacting the scene. Looking for something to use against him.

“I’m gunna fucking kill him!” He groans, lightly applying the bandage to your gash. You wince, but not from the pain. It had been nothing compared to what your father put you through.

“It’s fine, Jimin.” He scoffs at your obvious lie.

“Of course it’s not fine, Y/n! That piece of shit fucking gashed your head! You should be lucky he was in that straight jacket. Who knows what he could’ve done with his sick mind!?” You place your hand on his shoulder, hopping off the table to keep your balance.

“It’s okay, really. All in a job’s work.” He rolls his eyes, handing you a small cup of water. You take it from his grasp, immediately quenching your thirst. Throwing the cup into the garbage, you make your way back over to the cafeteria of the prison.

You’d been escorted to the main level. There were four floors.

1st held all of the common criminals. Pickpockets, thiefs, people with unpaid parking tickets, druggies and more.

Second level is for the more mediocre criminals along with the cafeteria and indoor gym for the workers.

Third, held people like small murderers and interogation rooms.

The fourth floor had batshit crazies, people with the same charges as Ted Bundy, Dhamer, Lopez, and Shipman.

Along with Kim.

You groan in frustration, throwing the papers across your small apartment’s space. The anger you felt had manifested from this case, along with the news that your father had escaped his death sentence, and broken out of the ward he’d been kept in; about 100 miles from where you had moved.

His laugh echoed through your head. Flashes from when he’d gashed you in that interrogation room earlier fills your senses. Screams, cries, yells reverberate off the walls of your mind.

A mix of Namjoon’s and your father’s voice screams in your head.

You’ll never be normal.

You’re not worthy.

You’re the product of a serial killer.

Shut up..

You know it’s true, Y/n. Deep down,

You always have.

“SHUT UP!!”

You pick up the glass bottle, throwing it against the wall. The blood-shot red liquid stains your creme white walls. Shards of glass fall to the oak wooden floors. Soaking in all of the pain. Frustration.

Emotion.

Day 13.

What an unlucky number. The bags under your eyes alert everyone around you of your restless night. You’d tossed and turned all through the night. Images of your father beating your mother, pictures you’d gone to therapy for 5 years to try to rid yourself of. His evil laugh rips through your fears.

Living in constant fear for your life is not the ideal thought to have right before you sleep.

In the end, you’d decide to google anything and everything about this ‘kim Namjoon’ person.

Six hours later, and you practically had been left at a dead end.

Family of four. Brother went hysterical, falling into the coping of drugs. Sentenced to sex years for sex trafficking and overdosing/torturing victims.

You laugh hysterically.

I guess torture runs in the family.

Mother - Neighbours said the family had always been weird. Hauling in animals left and right, even when it hadn’t been hunting season. Mother had always been cooking something in the backyard. Neighbors complained of ghastly and grotesque smells coming from Kim's estate. Police searched, but had come up empty handed. Soon, father went on a killing spree. A total of 16 lives were lost to the hands of Namjoon’s father.

Something had caught your eye.

When investigated, authorities found descriptive and eerie pictures of a disgusting family dinner. Authorities took 8 months to identify the victims. Finally, they had been concluded.

A total of 5 bodies - 4 girls and one boy - all around to be 16-21 - had been consumed.

Your body hunches forward, your lunch threatening to spill from your stomach. Bile comes creeping up your throat.

He had been a cannibal.

It was so much worse than you thought..

You make your way back into the room, a patient Namjoon is placed in his usual spot. His creeping smile repulses you. You take your seat, preparing the session.

This time, you were going to catch him.

The assignment you’d been hired for had been altered.

“Find some evidence good enough to put him on immediate death row.”

Seeing this bastard’s head chopped off gave you some sick kind of feeling in the pit of your stomach. Watching as it rolls around, after being freshly severed gives you a sense of relief.

And something that should not be there in a time like this…

His chocolate brown eyes swirl your figure.

“Good morning, Alice.” He fakes a smile, as do you.

This is a game.

And you must win.

A smile creeps his face. His black locks frame his face like framing of the Mona Lisa.

You had to admit, he was gorgeous.

“Good morning, Kim.” He faints a cheap taken back expression from your harsh words.

“Damn baby, thought after all these dates we’d already have first names in the vocabulary.” You chuckle, clicking your pen to write the date down on your spreadsheet.

“These aren’t dates.” He smiles, watching as you pen in the date and time.

“Mmm, You sure dress like it is.”

You glance down to your outfit. The Wine-stained two piece pantsuit accentuates your hips. The white blouse teasingly pops out between your cropped blazer. The gold necklace you’d previously worn, adorns the thin curves down the front of your chest.

You can hear his chest heave a short groan at your outfit choice.

You looked like absolute fucking sin.

“Mmm, You look good in red.” He leans forward, the straight jacket having been discarded for ‘good behavior’ from last week. Anything to get to touch your porcelain-soft looking features. To have you writhing under his touches. To corrupt your innocence you hide behind the insecurity like a masked confidence.

He could read you like a book.

A newspaper, even.

You’re filled with stories for him every day.

Your eyes follow his lead meeting in the middle. You notice the write cotton sweatpants wrapped around his thick thighs. The white-ish cream colored monochrome tones match his top. A long sleeve cotton shirt with lack of strings of any kind. Precautions of suicide, you learned in college.

“So, tell me.” You lean forward, resting your hands atop the desk, placing the point of your chin in the dips of your palms.

“Anything, Dear.” He flashes a genuine looking smile.

Impossible.

He’s just mirroring my own expressions.

Psychopaths can’t feel actual emotions.

So, why does it look genuine?

“Tell me about your family.” He chuckles.

He glances to the walls surrounding the two of you, sighing out of boredom.

“Well, it’s not like I’m going anywhere anyways.” He leans up, placing his forearms on the cool metal table, mimicking your stance.

“What’d you like to know, princess?”

You flip through your folder.

‘Wow I feel so special. My own folder~” You tilt his head to the side, trying to get a better look at your features to remember for later, but to anyone else it’d just seem like he’s in his own head, acting crazy.

Like he is.

“Tell me about the wonderful feasts you had.” His expression falls cold. He leans back, demeanor switching completely.

“Get out.” He torts, but you don’t budge.

“Come on. Why did yo-”

“I said get the fuck out!” He yells, as the two guards come rushing in, pulling you away from the metal table.

Once he sees that you’re gone, he quickly grabs the folder, stuffing it quickly into the belt area of his pants before being dragged out of the interrogation room.

Once back in his cell, it’d already been time to rest. His body lays against the cool mattress, shuffling around he finds a comfortable position. On the bright side of being in the top 10 notorious murderers, they deemed him too insane to share a room with anyone else.

He pulls the thin covers over his head, making sure the red light from the camera in the top corner of his room turns completely off, before the camera sinks back to it’s ‘off’ position. He only gets the non camera luxury because the past few years he’d built up somewhat good connections with the guards. They didn’t like him, but tolerated him more than some of the other inmates.

It also helped to be in the commission business here.

The guards always have to be checked for any type of drug or weapon that they could sneak into the facility, which meant taking away their pleasure supply. And to be working in a stuffy, cold, dark and -let’s face it- anything but clean place, it was hard to find the kind of things people were into. Thankfully, Marc, Namjoon’s neighboring door down had a plentiful supply of eroticisms that weren’t even allowed -outside- of the facility.

Namjoon flips through the papers, having a difficult time reading your chicken scratch. He scoffs at your poor penmanship.

“A three year old could write better than this.” He rolls his eyes, scanning over the meaningless words such as ‘The Kim family had always been strange and introverted.’ ‘Tied to their house’

Blah blah blah.

He already knows that.

He lived it.

One line caught his eye.

“Lee Y/n.”

He chuckles.

You’d left your profile in the case file.

He flips through the pages, studying over the content while biting into the apple he’d been given as a token for being a quote ‘good noodle’.

This good noodle was gonna rip out that guard’s small intestine and use it as a fucking belt if he ever said shit like that again.

He flips through the folder, watching as more information pops up to his enjoyment.

____________________________________________________________

Name: Lee Y/n

Age: 25

Occupation: Criminal Psychology and Justice Studies.

Level of Education: Dual-Enrolled all of highschool, Straight A student, Volunteered at psych clinics for 2+ years. Studied at Carnegy another 4 years.

Hobbies: Reading, History, Criminal studies, Karate, Ju-jitsu.

_____________________________________________________________

Another section of the folder catches his eye.

_____________________________________________________________

Background Screening Results - 2019

Relatives: No

Recommendations: 3+

Notes: Father convicted of 6 murders, one being his own 4 year old son, Grayson. Currently resides;

Westwood Mental Institution (2017).

Mother clinically diagnosed with DSM - Schizophrenia, Generalized anxiety, and depression. Currently resides and recovering in Livingston, Montana.

_____________________________________________________________

So crazy runs in your family too, huh?

Your low wedges plank across the hardened concrete floors. The off-white colored pencil dress you’d chosen to wear sways along with the sing songy tone of your hips.

“Morning, Miss Y/n!” Catherine calls from the front desk.

“Morning, Cathay!” You walk past the guards, already knowing the routine. They don’t even need to check you anymore. -Though, they sometimes still do-

You make your way to the room, laying your small briefcase on the metal table, preparing for today’s session. The cold walls block any kind of kind thoughts you have.

Something was off.

Soon, the thick mental door opens, revealing Namjoon.

By himself..

You stand, wondering where the guards had gone.

Sirens whirl off in the distance.

“Hello, My Alice.”

You’re confused. Had one of the prisoners tried to escape? It wasn’t until Namjoon grabs you by the arm, gripping tightly, making his way through the corridor. The guards stop him about 20 feet in front. Guns and flashlights shine and gleam on the both of you. Namjoon sighs, rolling his eyes before quickly pulling a gun to your head.

“Easy boys. Don’t want a lawsuit on your hands” Namjoon’s plastered smirk sends chills down your spine.

“Come on Namjoon, leave the girl alone.” One of the guards eases his way towards the both of you, still keeping a distance that Namjoon would prefer. He pretends to ponder for a moment, but a blood-curdling look smears his face.

“How about… No.” He aims the gun towards the guard, ducking down to save his own life.

“See? You don’t really care about her.” Namjoon’s eyes crane to look down at your motionless frame.

“Not like I do.”

Just then, a large explosion goes off in the distance. Namjoon’s grasp on your figure never seems to falter as he bends down, shielding you from the glass shards shattering through the air.

‘Perfect timing, my friend.” He claps his free hand toward a strange looking man, before hauling you up onto his shoulder, making his way out of the blown through wall.

‘You’re insane!” You yell. A harsh slap to your ass is applied, along with a shushed tone telling you to be quiet.

“No, No baby.” He sets your figure down, ripping a length of cloth from his shirt to tie snuggly around your hands.

“We both are.” He caresses the side of your cheek, before you hit his hand backwards, spitting on his face. The anger was clear as day upon his face.

“Wrong choice, baby.” He reaches into his pocket, revealing a plastic covered syringe.

No.

NO!!

“Namjoon please- Please just let me go and I can help you!” You beg, but it’s no use. He flicks the needle, before running a hand through your locks, shushing your shivering figure.

“Shh, Shhh. It’s okay baby.” His lips meet the crown of your forehead, kissing softly. The sounds of guns firing in the background doesn’t help one bit.

“Namjoon- Y-you don’t need to do this! Please!” you tried to scoot as far away from his as possible, but his strong biceps held you in place against the metal pole just outside the view of the asylum.

“This could’ve been different if you had just listened to me.” He sighs, nearing the needle towards the skin of your neck.

“Namjoon! Please!” you’re practically screaming this time. His free hand comes to cup the palm of his hand against your mouth.

“Shhh, darling. Be a good girl for me.” A sharp pain rips through your neck. Everything begins to fade in and out. The last thing you see is his disgusting face plastered with a clown-like grin.

Evil.

Pure, evil.

“My little Alice.”

#kim namjoon x you #bts #bts fanfic #bts fic #kim namjoon fic #bts yandere #yandere!namjoon #psychological bts thriller #kim namjoon #namjoon #Emotion #sweehearthighwritings #yandere #psycho killer #psycho!namjoon #bts imagines #bts angst

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lil-oreo-crumbles · 1 month

Note

Care to discuss Zarina?

HELL YEAH she’s my GIRLLL 👑

Princess Zarina Kardona of Septarsis, second hatched child of the former (now passed) Rulers of Septarsis, and unofficial second in charge of Septarsis after her older brother, the legendary Seth of Septarsis.

Gonna try and keep this brief-ish (this is not brief omfg I’m sorry this is so long)

Zarina spent all of her early childhood in Septarsis. She never travelled outside of it. Septarsis was all she ever knew.

Just like her brother, she’s seen the extent of the horrors of Mewmankind. She too was stolen from Septarsis and taken to the same place Seth was where they were both put under the worst circumstances for 89 years. (I’m intentionally being vague on the details of this)

Seth feels personally responsible to take care of his sister since he was 15 years older than her. Around the time they were taken there was a notable mental age difference (Zarina was 35 and Seth was 50, making them in Septarian aging the equivalent to 8 and 12 respectively), and even if the gap has been closed and they’re both basically the same mental age, he still carries with him that responsibility, even if she can take care of herself now.

^^^“Just don’t leave me alone wondering where you are” “I am stronger than you give me credit for”

Zarina in her current form had no chance to actually blossom until after those 89 years. She realized her identity and gave herself a new name in the middle of those 89 years, but due to their situation she was hard pressed to do anything about her physical appearance :(

Seth is endlessly supportive of his sister’s new name and her transition. He loves her to death.

She and Seth worked as a team (with the help of the other captured monster kids) to get out of their situation and eventually made it back to Septarsis, and she sobbed at the sight of her homeland in its dark age.

Because of the atrocities they both were subjected to, both Seth and Zarina have a close, almost unbreakable bond. Yes, they quarrel all the damn time and get on each other’s nerves, but they rarely keep anything from each other. If one of them did, let’s say the other would be crushed.

In situations where the siblings work together for a cause, Seth is the outspoken one who inspires crowds of people and gets everyone hyped. He can command an audience and be charismatic and win people over. Zarina, however, is a lot more introverted. She cares a lot more about interpersonal relationships. She’s the type to privately talk to people, ease their fears, and inspire hope individually. Seth will speak to the crowd, Zarina will speak to the person.

In those same situations they both work together on strategy, both offering their own unique perspectives but ultimately finding compromises.

Zarina was the one to give the final blow that killed the man who not only took over Septarsis and put their civilization into its dark age, but also orchestrated the murder of their parents. It was liberating.

Despite her calm, reserved, formal, and polite exterior, if you dare get on her bad side/make her angry she can get so much more threatening and violent than her brother. You do not want to piss this woman off.

Zarina is, to put it bluntly, sheltered as all hell to anything outside Septarsis and those 89 years. This makes her incredibly socially awkward. She carries with her a sense of grace and formality as the Princess of Septarsis, but that’s mainly because she doesn’t speak in front of people too much. If she’s confronted about anything she’ll freeze up and mutter something if she doesn’t know or otherwise. (This is why Seth was the chosen leader lol). Plus she’s also very introverted so she just prefers being alone or with a few close people in general.

Zarina is also, notoriously, a horrible liar. She may be able to keep a secret but finds it difficult to lie when confronted. This ties back to her social awkwardness. She could not lie to save her life, it’d be written all over her face.

She was the first person to actually hear Mylanie out about her peace ideology. She asked Mylanie privately to discuss her ideas. She put aside her own biases and experiences to listen deeply and intently to what Mylanie was trying to do, being one of the first people to realize how honest and earnest she really was about this whole thing. Zarina convinced Seth to hear her out too, sparking the friendship and bond between the three of them.

Zarina, despite her past, gains a nuanced opinion about the Mewman situation. This is when she withdrawals from firmly siding with her brother to something in the middle between him and Mylanie.

Zarina finds herself as the awkward middleman between her extroverted pessimistic brother and their extroverted optimistic friend, Mylanie, as the introverted realist who calms them down when things gets too heated. She’s kind of like the referee which I think is hilarious

Mylanie was the one to finally coax Zarina out of her shell, opening her mind to the various cultures amoungst the different Monsters and even Mewmans. Seth was a lot more well travelled as the Supreme Lord, so Mylanie got to be her personal guide to the outside world.

Being around Seth and Mylanie for so long finally influenced her to be more outspoken and develop her skills in leadership and delegation. They inspire her.

She hates the whole courting thing because she knows it disrespects Mylanie’s boundaries. She always angrily tells Seth to quit it.

Like Seth, Zarina similarly loves Torrence (aka Toffee) very much. She isn’t as outwardly affectionate because of how reserved she is, but shows her appreciation in little ways that mean a lot (she basically allows him free access to the Septarian library, for example)

When Mylanie passed away, just like Seth and Toffee, she was devastated. Seth avoided confronting his grief by piling himself into the war effort and Toffee had Eclipsa to lift his spirits, but Zarina had basically no one. She was alone in her grief and fell back into the cycle of isolation.

The first time she stepped outside after Mylanie’s passing was when she confronted Eclipsa and lost her arm. Rasticore created a prototype robotic arm (that was later improved by an actual engineer…) for her to use as a prosthetic that she greatly appreciates. And because of this Seth doesn’t let her go anywhere without a soldier by her side.

Zarina and her nephew are very close.

Zarina, unlike Seth, really values people’s boundaries. With that being said, she doesn’t put any extra pressure on Toffee after she and Seth take him in and leaves him be for the most part, but is always there with open arms if he needs her. She never refers to Toffee in any familial way— she knows how he responds to that *cough*Seth calling him son*cough*— even if he’s the closest thing to a son she’s ever had. She loves him with everything she has, but he’d never guess it since she rarely feels like she can express it.

Toffee’s bad boy phase gave her grey hairs she lost her temper with his attitude and cockiness so much.

Zarina offered to go as the representative for Septarsis when Comet sent out the banquet invitation before Toffee offered.

After the Comet situation and Toffee and Seth’s fight, Zarina tried to talk to him one on one. However, Toffee was far too angry that the two of them ended up having their own quarrel before he left.

I’ve alluded to this, but Zarina and Seth were both devastated when news of Toffee’s death finally reached them. Zarina uncharacteristically acted impulsively and wanted to send out the army to give Moon and Star a taste of real Septarian aggression for murdering one of their most prominent figures. Seth, on the other hand, despite being just as furious, had to seriously talk her down and explain that it’s not smart to rush into things and waste Septarsis’s resources. It took everything in her power to not take action against the Butterflies, but did back down.

I feel like there may be this underlying inferred inferiority complex, because of how well known Seth is and all of his accomplishments, but I wanna make it known that Zarina holds no animosity towards him. Sure, she’s a bit disappointed that no one really knows who she is, but also simultaneously relieved. Again, she’s not the outspoken type, so it works in her favor if she can chill in the shadows.

Sometimes though people do mistake her for Seth’s wife which… makes both of them fly off the handle with vocal disgust for fairly obvious reasons. That’s the hard part about not being known, but she manages.

WOWOWOW I loved talking about my girl Zarina she’s so fun I love her.

#svtfoe #star vs the forces of evil #septarsis dragonfly au #svtfoe oc #zarina kardona of septarsis #seth kardona of septarsis #Zarina is my girlie #I’ve been wanting to slightly redesign her #I might post a picture of her if I find motivation to draw her #Zarina is one of my favorite characters #THERES SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO SHARE #BUT I CANTTTTTTTTT #ARGHHHHHH #Evermore from Beauty and The Beast Female Cover vibes

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villain-enthusiast · 2 years

Note

Could you do a snippet with a dignified supervillain and a sarcastic civilian? Idk I just feel like it would make for a fun little short story lol

tw: captivity, restraints, mild death threats, suggestive dialogue

Civilian had to admit, Supervillain was less intimidating than they had initially imagined.

They were larger, taller in person, dressed in a sleek black costume with a billowing cape that seemed rather excessive. But as the infamous criminal shuffled through the contents of something near the back of the room, Civilian couldn’t help but think that they looked like a rip-off Batman.

“Hey, uh, don’t you think this whole ‘tied to a chair in a cell room’ shenanigan is rather cliché?” Civilian blurted out, shifting uncomfortably in their bonds. “I’m not really gonna go anywhere.”

Supervillain stopped their movement abruptly. Their head raised slowly.

Keep talking. Civilian cleared their throat, maintaining their composure. “I mean, really, I know it seems like I’m an expert escape artist, but the gods decided to trade out my smarts for a boatload of good looks.”

Supervillain turned around, one brow arched, arms folded across their chest. Their dry stare raked over Civilian, from head to toe.

Then they scoffed.

Civilian gasped in an artfully exaggerated fashion, taken aback. “You just don’t understand the meaning of true beauty.” They leaned their head back into their seat, fluttering their eyes.

“You’re a bold one,” Supervillain mused, approaching Civilian. “I’ve never caught a bold one before.”

“What am I, a fish?” Civilian smirked, but went still as Supervillain stopped in front of them.

A frown crossed Supervillain’s face. “You really don’t seem to understand your place of power here.”

Some kind of hysterical laughter bubbled up in Civilian’s throat, but they held it down. “Honey, I’m not your average-looking civilian. You’re a notorious outlaw who resembles the look of an emo teenager. I’d say we’re on even playing field here.”

Supervillain’s icy expression didn’t falter. They stepped closer, bearing over the bound Civilian.

Civilian, although intimidated, smirked up at Supervillain. “That’s right, take it all in. I’m just too good to be true.”

“I’ve seen better.”

“Liar,” Civilian huffed. “You must have bad taste. What’re you into, furries?“

“I really am getting fed up with you.” Supervillain fingered the knife at their belt. “I don’t need you alive for bait.”

Civilian ignored the shudder that raced down their spines “What is it with you and the fish analogies? Oh my gods, do you have a fish kink? Is that an actual thing—,”

They stopped talking at the cold bite of blade at their throat.

“Say one more dumbass thing and I’ll cut you,” Supervillain growled. “You think you can just stomp over my dignity like you’re not testing death? You’re like a damn mosquito. Annoying and unyielding until they’re squashed.”

Civilian swallowed around the knife. They were quiet for a moment, then they took a breath. “Hero’s gonna come find me.”

Supervillain removed the weapon from their skin, and Civilian slumped back down into the chair.

“I sure hope they do,” their captor muttered, re-sheathing the dagger.

“Aw, you don’t want me around?” Civilian cocked their head in mocking disbelief. “I think you’ll grow to like me.”

Supervillain, who had begun to stalk back to the corner of the cell, stopped in their tracks. They turned back around. “So you plan on staying a while?”

“Well that’s a rather stupid question.” Civilian tugged feebly on the ropes binding them to the chair. “One could say that I’m a bit tied up at the moment.” They smiled proudly at their own pun. “I’m not going anywhere until Hero swoops in and sweeps me off my feet like a dashing savior.”

Supervillain sighed. “It’s taking everything in me not to strangle you right now.”

Civilian winked. “Ah, choking kink. I’ll write it down.”

The flash of a smile ghosted over Supervillain’s face, but it was so brief Civilian could’ve sworn they just imagined it.

Walking to the cell door, Supervillain jangled the keys in their hand. “Make yourself comfortable…” they trailed off, raising their eyebrows expectantly at Civilian.

“The name’s Civilian.” Civilian grinned.

Supervillain nodded once. “Have fun talking to yourself for a couple of hours. I’ve got a Hero to take of.”

Civilian furrowed their brow. “Wait, I thought you said you wanted—,”

The cell door slammed shut, cutting Civilian off before they could finish their sentence.

Damn.

#hero #villain #civilian #hero and villain #villain and hero #villain/hero #hero/villain #villain/civilian #civilian/villain #flirty civilian #my writing #writing snippet #ask #villain-enthusiast #let’s play a game of #does supervillain like civilian or not?

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ultyso · 6 months

Text

Been seeing some say “I don’t get the appeal of Lawtsuda” around various places, so I thought I’d share why I personally enjoy it and how I explore it beyond what the canon displays. This’ll be a bit lengthy as I try to express my thoughts on this. This isn’t me trying to push a “why you should like it” but an explanation for why I personally find enjoyment in it and how I connect it with the canon content that makes it appealing for myself.

Firstly bare bones things is I just like the dynamic of what people consider the “grumpy x sunshine” trope. I enjoy the opposites attract with most of my pairings. I find them fairly complimentary as one character’s flaws are usually the other character’s strengths. So in Lawtsuda then: L definitely has a lot of strengths but Matsuda is more intuitive with the more emotional stuff, the thinking with heart more kinda vibe. Matsu is definitely not more on the logical side and is extremely spontaneous. I think bringing spontaneity and a completely different perspective on the world to L’s life would bring intrigue cause you never know what’ll come from Matsu, while for L bringing a more level headed place for Matsuda to learn to think before acting could help him. I just like pairings that have a give and take. (It’s also why I like Lawlight too) While yes in canon, L shows his disdain for Matsuda it has always been directly because of work. Take out work from the equation, and I feel like they would have gotten along earlier.

While in canon, yes L could gives zero shits about Matsuda since he annoys him, a lot of what he says also lines up a lot with the tsundere character type so it plays a heavy factor in why I just like it as him as to me he’s just being a silent admirer. He’s got this intense case he’s not gonna show intrigue cause that could put his own ass at risk too. Other things, at the start he did not pick on Matsuda. When did he start berating him? When Light came into focus. Just feels like self-preservation to me. Before that all the berating was coming from the other team members. I also think of when L had secret funds for the task force and their families should anything happen to them. Yes this is more a general thing but I think it shows further his care at least for everyone but he’s not gonna be vocal about it. It was because of Watari voicing out about it did everyone reconsider L before leaving him. So when I think of Lawtsuda, I see L having the same approach. Would he ever tell him? Probably not. Would he secretly do small gestures for Matsuda unbeknownst to him? More likely. Then there’s the whole Yotsuba stuff. Yes he helped probably due to 1. Mr. Yagami would not let it slide to just let him croak 2. It would give more info on the case to get the upper hand and 3. They already lost Ukita and didn’t want to lose another member as they’re already a small team. I feel like the case is the main factor though. Either way, he did help assist him. Though it is still perplexing to let him live as he would have gotten undeniable proof of Kira being amongst them if Matsuda ended up dead. Though he didn’t let it reach that. So I can’t help but feel there’s at least an ounce of care there. Then when it came to faking Matsuda’s death I just can’t stop thinking of how much he was trying to figure out a solution to get Yotsuba off him. Like he could have just cut his losses on Matsuda, but he still tried to figure out a way to save him. Coming up with that whole plan did lead to still being able to find a new route to finding the Yotsuba Kira so it was still beneficial to him in the end. I just like that he seemed to express an ounce of concern for Matsuda during this whole thing. The guy is also a notorious liar so take what he says with a grain of salt too. I notice how when he calls Matsuda an idiot he’s often touched his lips when saying that. Hmmmm. Also the fact that L will allow Matsu (other than Watari) get him coffee/tea? The trust is there at least knowing Matsuda would never poison him at all fhdhdjdjdj.

While in canon, the approval seeking that Matsuda displays is just wanting to be seen as valuable to the team, it’s the most centered around on wanting to be good enough in L’s eyes. Which is why I like it on his end. He strives so much to be good enough for him, wanting his praise. While other team members have acknowledged his work at certain points, his response to other members like for instance the one with Mr. Yagami’s praise to him seemed to hold less interest as he brushed it off. (This coming from the man who also heavily looks up to Mr. Yagami and wants his approval too.) Take the games with how little or much canon level as you want, but his reaction to having any validation from L brought him so much excitement and happiness I just can’t help but get all mushy at it 🥺 He does clearly admire L in some regards, rather you take it as platonic or romantic. I mentioned in a different post, but just how much he keeps himself around L too. If at the Task Force, Matsuda is almost always standing or sitting right by him. Guy is attachedddd. At this point it is beyond just people pleasing to me. Also the grief him and Aizawa have when the news is broke about L being confirmed dead. When it comes to Near, I personally see his frustrations with him (aside from Kira case stuff) as a reminder that L is gone and he’s still not fully coping with it. He got used to Light, he seems fond of him too, but he isn’t L so he doesn’t cause him distress. Near is so reminiscent I can’t help but feel it just causes a bunch more complications to him.

There’s a lot of similarities I see between Misa and Matsu that I’m not going to go into great lengths for. But I can see how it seems similar to Misa/Light for instance. One seeming devoted, while the other doesn’t give any shits. For me personally how I think it differs, is mentioned in my prev paragraphs that I personally just see as L as secretly admiring. That’s really all it is to it there.

Other minor things:

I just personally find it cute. Most content I see out there is fluff. I love fluff so I like it.

If ever in a relationship, I just think it would be playful, as in lots of teasing. Just being silly.

In doujins a lot of them tend to focus on sleeping, that L feels safe enough to sleep next to Matsuda. It just feels like a cute trend I see with them. Matsuda is pretty open book about everything, so I feel it’s easier to trust him. He’s spontaneous so he has his issues there but emotionally he’s pretty easy reading. L doesn’t sleep often as is, he tries his best not to but he can’t help it sometimes if he’s too exhausted. If he does find himself in that position, it has to be somewhere safe where he knows nothing bad will happen to him. With Lawtsuda stuff focusing on that often, it just feels so sweet. Like L is always protecting them with the case, and then here while he rests, Matsuda can keep him safe 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Why do I like it more than Lawlight then even tho I ship both? It really just comes down to I like L and Matsuda as characters alone. I’m not personally a fan of Light as much. So Lawtsuda just naturally feels better for me. That’s all there really is to it.

Also gives me similar vibes to InuKag (Inuyasha) and SoMa (Soul Eater) to which are pairings I also enjoy.

Thanks for reading my long nonsense! Feel free to disagree and still be like “Ulty, these reasons are dumb and Lawtsuda still sucks ass” cause at end of day, this is just my personal preference and everyone is free to have their own. We don’t have to all like the same pairings. ^^!

Feel free to ask anything if you want more info or other explanations for stuff or whatever chdjdjdkk

#Lawtsuda #L Lawliet #Touta Matsuda #About Ship #Death Note #Ulty Talks

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bokatan · 1 month

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Thematic Headcanons: 🤝 🤥 ⏳ 💉 for all

[ prompt ] @fuzzydreamin

hc + 🤝 for a headcanon about a connection with one of the receiver's mutual

Reed's insistence about calling people by their last names, combined with the fatal American need to shorten names and slap nicknames onto random people, has 100% resulted in him referring to Al as "Jeff" at least once.

Mercy would have some clinical interest in both Nora & Al- Nora since she's prewar and survived cryo, and Al because how the hell are they still alive. I don’t think she’d be weird about it with either of them, but just genuinely curious about them.

I think that Delta & Al would get along well, but would probably need some sort of supervision- Delta tends to enable impulsive behavior and they'd probably end up getting into some really stupid shenanigans together.

hc + 🤥 for a lie-themed headcanon

Reed sometimes does just make shit up to mess with people. He doesn’t do anything harmful or malicious with it, but bullshitting is fun sometimes.

Mercy’s top lies are about her identity and what she’s doing. She has a handful of aliases she typically goes by and pretty much never shares her prewar name.

Delta’s actually a pretty good liar, but they don’t really see any point in doing that.

hc + ⏳ for a time-themed headcanon

Postwar, Reed’s notoriously bad about showing up places on time. He had a heavily structured life for so long and he just doesn’t really know how to manage his time on his own. His pip-boy’s clock is off, too. thing’s super busted.

Mercy’s pretty much the opposite of Reed here- she’s too good at time management, to the point that it manifests as time anxiety, so she tends to show up much earlier than she’s actually supposed to.

Delta has no fucking idea what daylight savings time is and they wholeheartedly believe Reed's messing with them when it's eventually mentioned and explained.

hc + 💉 for a medical-themed headcanon

This one plays into some of my ghoulification headcanons + miscellaneous headcanons about the whole military-industrial complex and medical R&D going on at the time; Reed was exposed to a strain of FEV through an experimental vaccine at some point before the Great War. Otherwise, he just died from radiation poisoning post-Glowing Sea rather than ghoulifying- if he hadn’t already died in cryo or while recovering from it.

Mercy’s eye mutation makes her sensitive to bright light; she tends to avoid being out in mid-day when possible and frequently wears things like wide brimmed hats, sunglasses, etc etc to help with it. She also tends to be more active at night when she’s on her own, since she’s more adapted to it now.

Delta’s physically more in-line with gen. 2 synths than they are with current gen. 3 synths, so they’re not affected by things like chems & alcohol.

#thank you!💖#ask games #reed tag #mercy tag #delta tag

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i-did-not-mean-to · 2 years

Text

October 8th

Monsters

Ah, @melkors-big-tits...I don't even have the words to explain what your support has meant to me.

In my battle against indoctrination and shame, you've been more than just a help, you've made me laugh about things that used to make me cry...and that's invaluable.

This tiny snippet is dedicated to your beautiful art and to @thenookienostradamus's beautiful TRSB fic (Yeah, definitely go read that one, it's HILARIOUS and beautiful).

Thanks for everything ❤️‍🔥

Words: 653

Warning: a tad of sadness and references to NSFW things (but nothing happens)

Gothmog stared at the palms of what he would have confidently called his “hands” and sighed; he seldom ventured out of the fortress except on business – heavily armed and singularly determined – for a good reason.

It was ridiculous to take the throwaway comment of a wide-eyed brat and his sour-faced mother so to heart, but somehow, he couldn’t shake the gloom that had crept into the cracks in his tough skin. He should have killed them then and there, but, if he had given in to his most savage impulses, they would have been right and he couldn’t bear that idea.

“Monster!”

The very word echoed in his head even now and he shook it angrily, willing himself to dismiss the ungracious assessment as ignorance or uncalled-for fear.

“What is the matter?” Melkor padded in noiselessly; he had known that something was amiss the moment Gothmog had returned, whatever errand he had wanted to run seemingly forgotten, and had immediately retired to the most remote of chambers which was highly unusual for him.

“Nothing,” Gothmog replied gruffly, but he had to consider that, if anyone might understand his predicament, it would be Melkor – the Dark and Terrible – and so, he repeated the slur flung at him so mercilessly. The very word tasted like bile on his steaming tongue.

“Oh darling,” Melkor whispered, slinging his arms around the solid midriff of his devoted servant and trusted officer in an impulsive gesture of solidarity and comfort, “they didn’t mean it…and even if they did, they don’t know what they’re talking about. You’re wonderful.”

“I am a smouldering pile of evil,” Gothmog whined, aware that he was wallowing in self-pity but unable to claw himself out of the roiling pit of misery, “I am a heap of discarded shards of violence.”

“You are a marvel,” Melkor contradicted firmly even though his voice was warm and tender, “and I will not listen to you disparaging yourself so. You’re the best at what you do, and your appearance reflects your inner strength, is there anything more beautiful than that?”

“I guess,” Gothmog sniffled pitifully, but his master’s words had pierced the hardening shell of despondency and despair; it was true that Melkor himself scintillated and bulged with his glorious purpose and nobody would ever have dared question his exceptional even if unusual pulchritude.

“What would cheer you up?” Melkor asked when Gothmog’s face didn’t tilt up with new vigour immediately, “should we go find some stray Elves and make them praise your beauty?”

“It doesn’t count if you make them,” Gothmog objected petulantly; in the depth of his volcanic heart though, he knew that he’d forever be loyal to this whimsical and queer creature.

As monstruous as the Dark Lord might have been to his foes, he was known to be kind, supportive, and boundlessly entertaining to his own people which might explain why there was so little infighting under his rule. Could those who sought to smear his name and defile his legacy say the same about themselves? Gothmog thought that to be highly unlikely, but then again, the elves were notorious liars and cheaters…

“Make them? Me? I’d never,” Melkor swore with an exaggerated look of insulted innocence in his flashing eyes and – slinging his arm around Gothmog’s searing hot shoulders – he dragged the faithful Lord of Balrogs out of his hideout resolutely to take him out for a merry hunt.

Thankfully, his scouts had told him this very morning about a group of confused-looking, pointy-eared spies rummaging around in the underbrush like the scurrying, furtive critters they were.

A bit of fun would surely dispel Gothmog’s bad mood and if he’d have to drag the poor wretch down onto the steaming remnants of their enemies’ dismembered bodies to make him feel how beautiful he really was, Melkor would consider that part of his duties as the caring and hands-on regent he prided himself on being.

So, remember kids, it doesn't matter what you look like and "beautiful" is just a word. If you're loved the way Gotty is loved (by me and Melkor), what difference does it make that he looks funky?

@fellowshipofthefics: eh, a bit of monster-loving (no, not that other thing, not me, never me loool)

Lots of love from me

-> Masterlist

#fanfiction #writing #IDNMT writes #fotfics October challenge #fotfics fictober #ficlet run #1 scene per day #a different pairing every day #the silm #the silmarillion #gothmog #Melkor #Melkor x Gothmog #it's hard to look like that #soft moment #and murder #hehehe

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katarinas-redemption · 7 months

Text

NBC The Blacklist - The showrunners confirm they've always known the endgame - Jon Bokenkamp.

“When you know ultimately why he chose her, and why he decided to give us these cases, I think the story is ultimately over. But we will answer that, and we will get there, and we do have an answer that we’re working towards.” - Bokenkamp, Tv Insider

“The truth is that, once we know who Reddington is, and we know why he entered Liz’s life, then the story is over. Only then, is the story told.” - Bokencamp, Collider

Daniel Knauf: On the Blacklist, we are making up a lot of things as we go along but not the main thing. The core - the heart and soul of that show is the relationship between Red and Liz. Their trajectory has not changed one iota. It’s solid as a slot-car track.

Zee Hatley: Re: S5 Finale:

"My favorite line from the pilot paid off last night. Follow the breadcrumbs… " #TheBlacklistReveal

Daniel Cerone: The pieces will fit, but it’s a series journey with twists and turns. We know the end game.

BOKENKAMP: We did not pitch what the entire plan was to the network, but we have always had an endgame in mind. I come from writing features, and it’s hard to sit down and write a movie and just start on page one and go, “Well, we’ll see where we end.” It’s like a math problem. You have to know what you’re working toward. We have always had that bible in our heads, which makes it very difficult, at times, to write the show.

Jon Bokenkamp: “Obviously, we side-step and we improvise at times, but the deep core of the mythology of the show and who Reddington is, and all those big questions, are rooted in the inception of the show.”

Jon Bokenkamp: - along the way there are benchmark truths that we like to land on that are canon that might sound like they’re adrift or can be open to interpretation - and oftentimes they can be, and they should be. But that’s part of what’s fun about the show is trying to keep up with the mythology and unlock it. Ultimately I’m really proud, if you look back at the last six seasons that we’ve done, it adds up in a very clear way. We work very hard to do that.

Did you know from the beginning that James Spader’s character wasn’t really Reddington?

Jon Bokenkamp: Since day one. It’s almost impossible to not know the ending before you begin or at least a really strong sense of it. “it is something that we’ve been playing from the beginning, and James has been playing from the beginning that we’ve been working towards.”

This turn goes all the way back. It is something that we've talked about since the show was picked up [in 2013]," Bokenkamp tells ET of the game-changing revelation.

ET: What hints from the early seasons can you call out as clues that the Raymond Reddington we've gotten to know the past several years was an impostor?

Jon Bokenkamp: There are a number of them. In season one, Liz flat out asked Reddington over the payphone, "Are you my father?" and after a long pause, he said, "No." That is true and true since the beginning of the show. Now, Raymond Reddington is her father but this man is not the original Raymond Reddington. That's an example of how we have feathered storylines to point us toward this reveal. There are moments like that in each of the five seasons.

Jon Bokenkamp: The Imposter Theory can be traced all the way back to the first time Reddington met Elizabeth Keen and told her: 'I'm a criminal, criminals are notorious liars. Everything about me is a lie.'"

This trail of breadcrumbs has been five years in the making.

Jon Bokenkamp: It’s something we’ve talked about daily on the show. If we didn’t have a very clear answer to what we were doing, it would be very difficult. I hope now that people can look back at the five years of clues that have pointed us toward this and realize that this isn’t something we’re just pulling out of our pocket

How surprising is the reveal of Reddington’s true identity?

On a scale of one to 10, it would have to be an 11.

Eisendrath: We started the show seven years ago with one story that we knew we wanted to tell and we’re very happy about the fact that we’ve been given the chance to tell it over all these years,

Eisendrath: The audience, while wanting to know ultimately the truth, won’t get impatient—but will be given enough to enjoy the riddle of what the ultimate truth is.

Eisendrath: Just because we give the answer to one of the early questions that we deposit in the pilot, does not mean that there won’t be others that come from it. So, yes, we will answer some of the questions from the pilot, but those will just spin off other questions.

Eisendrath: We had an idea of what the story was from the beginning, and we haven’t really veered from it at all. That’s part of why, every year, we’ve been able to give genuine, legitimate answers that the audience has been able to enjoy.

The show has many mysteries and unanswered questions - for instance, what Red whispered to Kirk. Should fans expect all of them to be answered?

James Spader: There’s an intention from the writers, creators and mine to bring the audience with us during this journey and keep them until the end. And at the end the audience will be able to go back to the first episode and watch it all again and notice it all makes sense since the beginning.

James Spader: It may come as a surprise, but the truth is, that the directions that we’ve taken and the decisions that we’ve made in terms of the show are not arbitrary. They’re not. “- there has been a plan.”

James Spader: If it’s done the way we intend, once we reach the inevitable end of the series, you’ll look back and you’ll realize that there were things you found out along the way that you weren’t sure how to process and all of a sudden those things will connect.

Anthony Pepe: No doubt. It’s not even a question. We have given you the answers from practically the first episode. How much more do we have to force feed it? It’s Katarina Rostova. I mean it’s not even a question… - for lack of a better term I got that straight from the horses mouth. James told me himself, if you watch the show from the beginning, everything is right there. Now that you know what you know.

Lukas Reiter: One of the things that’s really special about this series is, unlike shows where you’re finding it as you go, we’ve always had that sequence and we’ve always known the central truth at the center of the series. And so it is pretty cool as a writer to be working on the same story for this amount of time cause I don’t think you see that that often.

#jon bokenkamp #john eisdendrath #zee hatley #james spader #lukas reiter #anthony pepe #daniel cerone #daniel knauf #redarina #redarina evidence #redarina discussions

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