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#they spoil their own films like it’s their Job to. and they GET AWAY W/ IT...

ibijau · 3 years

Text

Counterfeit AU pt6 / On AO3

Meng Yao makes himself useful after losing his job, and discovers something unexpected

Names are funny things, Meng Yao thinks as he stares at the sheet of paper in his hand.

Funny things indeed.

After everything that went down in the Hanshi, it's Beastie that saves Meng Yao from himself.

Left to his own devices, he would have either wallowed in misery, or waste time proving to himself that everything that happened wasn't his fault, the way he knows he's done in other lives. But when he comes home after having his past lives thrown into his face and losing a job he loves, Beastie’s mother corners him just as he puts his key into his lock. Her daughter is on school holiday, she explains, and was supposed to be looked after by a friend with children of a similar age. But one of the children came down with something contagious, so the whole plan fell through, and the poor woman now desperately needs help finding someone to look after her daughter.

She’s not asking for Meng Yao to play the babysitter, but he knows so many people, he has so many connections, maybe he could pull a favour somewhere, help her out again.

“I can take care of her for a few days,” Meng Yao offers without thinking. “I’m jobless as of today.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry! What happened?”

“My employer died,” Meng Yao replies, which is close enough to the truth. He doesn’t think Nie Huaisang will continue using his Shanzi alias after this, and they’ll never meet again. He might as well be dead. “I don’t plan on looking for a new job right away, so I can babysit for a while, it’s no big deal.”

She tries to insist that he doesn’t need to be doing that, but quickly agrees after some reassurance that Meng Yao doesn’t mind. She looks so relieved she could cry as she says she’ll drop Beastie in the morning. Meng Yao smiles, certain that his mother would be proud of him for doing what’s right.

Having Beastie around is definitely the best choice he could have made. She’s a good kid, but she’s also high energy and needs to be entertained, which means he doesn’t get to think too much about how much he misses Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen.

They watch movies together, as they’ve always done when he picked her up after school. They go for walks to a nearby park, and once to a museum to look at old armours and swords. He buys Beastie a fake sword, though they agree to keep it at his place, since her mother already despairs that she so strongly favours boy’s toys. In fact, Meng Yao ends up just spoiling that little girl, the way he would have loved someone to do for him when he was her age. He even has Nie Huaisang’s console repaired so she can play on it, instead of selling it as he’d intended.

The video games are a big hit with her. She’s particularly in love with the same game Nie Huaisang spent too many hours on, that weird little terraforming thing which Meng Yao can’t see the appeal of. He liked that it made Nie Huaisang happy. He likes that it also makes Beastie happy, and that she’s very careful not to ruin the work previously put into it, focused instead on maintaining it and planting flowers

“It looks like home,” she explains when Meng Yao asks about that, and lifts the console for him to see.

It doesn’t look like a homely place, he thinks, and more like a military fortress right out of a wuxia drama. But Meng Yao doesn’t get to make that remark, because his phone vibrates, demanding his attention. Beastie, sitting crossed legs on some cushion on the floor, goes back to watering virtual flowers, while Meng Yao checks some news from his bank account. A lump sum has been sent to him, a good deal more than his usual salary, coming from an account registered under a name he doesn’t recognise.

It has been a week since he was fired.

Nie Huaisang kept his promise.

It really is over.

Not that Meng Yao really doubted it. Nie Huaisang has many faults but indecision has never been one, though he’s always been good at pretending otherwise. Once his choice is made he toys with expectations but rarely ever changes his mind.

Rarely, of course, isn’t never. Meng Yao, foolishly, hoped to be one of those few exceptions.

Those new zeroes on his bank account feel like a divorce, and he never even got a honeymoon.

That night, Meng Yao allows himself a few hours to wallow in misery, after Beastie went back to her mother. He is only human, and it does feel good to eat take-away in front of a cheesy romance. The film's hero doesn't get the girl, who was dead all along. Meng Yao cries, even though he's seen that movie before.

By morning, he's in control again, and takes Beastie to the park so she can run around in the sun, and scare pigeons with her sword.

Those holidays are all great fun, until Beastie’s mother reminds them that she has homework to do.

Beastie is a clever kid, there’s no doubt about it, but she doesn’t much like doing her homework, least of all when she feels she could be playing. It takes all of Meng Yao’s negotiation skills to get her to even look at her school books, and he almost resorts to bribery to make her pick up a pencil. But she works hard once she starts, and Meng Yao, wanting to encourage her, sits with her at the kitchen table to update his resume. Beastie will go back to class soon, and inactivity just isn’t in his temper.

When Beastie is done with her work, she gets permission to put on whatever movie she likes while Meng Yao checks what she’s done in case it needs correcting.

But when he picks up the sheet of simple maths she’s expected to give her teacher on monday, all Meng Yao sees is her name.

It’s really funny. He knows her name of course, though he hasn’t heard it in a while. Even her mother took up to calling her Beastie after he nicknamed her that. It just fits her so well, that active little girl who prefers trousers over dresses because they're easier to move in and always wants to play at fighting. She’s a real little monster, and Meng Yao loves her like that. She’s just Beastie.

But according to the homework she’s spent the afternoon on, she’s also Nie Mingjue.

It could just be a coincidence. Names are funny like that, they pop up in unexpected places, they get forgotten and reused. Perhaps in another life, Meng Yao would have just dismissed it as a random incident.

In another life, he wouldn’t have been called Meng Yao.

It’s the first time this happens since that first life they all shared. He’s Meng Yao again, Lan Xichen bears his old name too, and now he’s found a Nie Mingjue, hiding right under his nose. A Nie Mingjue who likes fighting, and claims that her toy sword is actually a sabre, and who always insists a lot on things being fair, even when Meng Yao tries to give her the biggest share of a food she likes.

It can’t be a coincidence.

Meng Yao needs to tell someone.

He needs to tell Nie Huaisang.

He tries, of course, and without surprise his former employer’s number has been terminated. He has the same luck trying to send an email. Nie Huaisang might as well never have existed. Meng Yao feels helpless, torn between tears and laughter. After spending centuries looking for his brother, Nie Huaisang just might have lost his chance due to being so damn dramatic. Serves him right, Meng Yao thinks, still bitter about being discarded so easily, and never getting a chance to see if things might work better in this life.

Bitterness doesn’t last. Meng Yao cares about Nie Huaisang, more than he should if he were a little smarter, and he knows how important finding his brother again would be for him. And if Nie Huaisang can’t be directly contacted, there’s always indirect ways.

It’s not that Meng Yao misses Lan Xichen, he tells himself that night, when Beastie is back with his mother and he starts writing a long text message on his phone. Well, it’s not just that, anyway. He does miss Lan Xichen, sweet and funny and so eager when talking about art. But more importantly, Lan Xichen probably has access to Lan Wangji, who clearly must know how to contact Nie Huaisang.

Texting Lan Xichen is a strategic choice.

The way Meng Yao's heart jumps inside his chest when Lan Xichen immediately replies is… it's strategic too. He's just glad that his plan is working.

How have you been? :)

I could have been worse. I've just realised something and I think it concerns you. I've told you about that kid I babysit, haven't I?

Little Beastie? Is she okay? D:

She's Nie Mingjue.

This time, the answer isn't immediate. Meng Yao stares nervously at his phone, wondering if Lan Xichen thinks he's lying, or planning something. Considering their first life, who could blame him?

But after a few minutes, his phone vibrates again.

Sorry, I dropped my phone and couldn't get it back from under the couch. Are you sure?? (⊙ˍ⊙)

It all fits. You could come meet her if you want. But it's him, I'm sure.

Did you tell Nie Huaisang???

I can't contact him. Are you in touch with Lan Wangji? Maybe he can warn him.

I have his number, I just texted him! I'll keep you updated! It's so wonderful if it's da-ge!! Can I really meet him? ╰(*°▽°*)╯

Her*?

I'll send you my address. If you can come tomorrow, she'll be there.

Are you sure? I don't think da-ge would still want me around. (≧﹏ ≦)

Meng Yao gives that question the consideration it deserves. It's not an unfair worry to have, and he'd be wondering the same if he hadn't known Beastie for so long.

I literally killed him, and he killed me. If she had to hate anyone it'd be me, but we get along great. We're no longer the same people we used to be. It's the same for her.

If you're sure, then I'll come! (❁´w`❁)

Meng Yao is very sure indeed.

So Lan Xichen comes.

It's odd to invite someone to his flat. It's a small place, a bit messy, full of trinkets and DVDs that Meng Yao would never admit to owning, not with the image he wants to create. He's always avoided guests. But having Lan Xichen over is as rewarding as it is terrifying. Lan Xichen brought some charming little cakes, as if he's visiting someone important, and he smiles at the sight of a movie poster on the wall, confessing he watched it so often as a teenager that the tape broke one day.

"It's my favourite too!" Beastie exclaims. "Meng-ge has it, you know! Can we watch it now?"

Normally, Meng Yao would point out that it's a little rude to ask that when they have a guest. But he can see that Lan Xichen is nervous and unsure how to act around Nie Mingjue, and maybe a movie will let them all relax.

In the end, they spend a pleasant afternoon, the three of them. Once Lan Xichen stops worrying that the Nie Mingjue of old will appear and shout at him for getting him killed, he starts chatting with Beastie about her favourite movies, what she's learning in school, what she wants to be when she grows up. She's very happy to answer, and very impressed when he explains he's a teacher, even though she's finding it hard to accept that most of his students are fully adult.

And when Beastie is back with her mother, Lan Xichen lingers for a while, tempted by the offer of Meng Yao's favourite takeaway.

“It’s amazing how much like him she is,” Lan Xichen says as they sit on the sofa to wait for the food to arrive. “It’s the first time he reincarnates, you know. At least, Wangji told me they’d never found any trace of him before.”

Guilt shoots through Meng Yao. It’s his fault if Nie Mingjue’s soul was so fractured it took him this long to be reborn. Or at least, it’s the fault of someone he was, once, which is nearly the same, and yet completely different. Meng Yao has learned from living and dying several times, and he’s lucky enough to live in a kinder world than Jin Guangyao did. It helps.

“She’s also different from him, though,” Lan Xichen continues, moving just a little closer, until they’re almost touching.

“We’ll, for starters she’s a kid,” Meng Yao points out, wondering if he should take the other man’s hand. If this had happened before the Hanshi, he would have, but he’s not sure where they stand now.

“It’s not just that. In that first life, I knew da-ge as a child too and he was…” Lan Xichen sighs and makes a vague hand gesture. “He was a lot. Way too serious sometimes. We all were, I suppose, but him most of all. The Nie tended to grow fast, to compensate for dying young. I’m… I’m glad that he gets to properly be a child this time. That she gets to be a child.”

“The world has changed,” Meng Yao says, finding the courage at last to brush his fingers against Lan Xichen’s. “Things aren’t always easy but they’re… easier, I suppose.”

Lan Xichen’s returns that touch, gentle and careful as always. This, too, is easier now than it was back then. It’s not easy, but there’s less pressure to conform, less demands to be good dutiful sons, and just a little more space to be their own people, to make their own choices.

Maybe in their next life they’ll meet again and it’ll be even easier to be like this. But even now, Meng Yao is ready to take the chances that his past self wouldn’t have dared to dream of. He leans toward Lan Xichen, hoping to kiss him, but a knock on the door interrupts them and he jumps to his feet to go get their food. The delivery man looks at him a little funny, but makes no comment. If Meng Yao is half as red as Lan Xichen, he deserves those odd looks.

Nothing happens again that night. The moment has passed, and after eating, Lan Xichen has to go home because he has engagements the day after that he can’t cancel.

It's not a date that night, no more than any of their previous encounters were.

It's not a date then, but next time, when Lan Xichen invites him to a restaurant, Meng Yao is informed in no unclear terms that this is, in fact, a date. They go see a movie after, and Meng Yao gets to kiss one of the two most handsome men in the world.

Life is good.

Life is really good, and yet Meng Yao wants more.

In spite of their efforts, Lan Xichen and him can't get in touch with Nie Huaisang to inform him that his brother has finally reincarnated. Even Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are getting worried. From what they told Lan Xichen they haven't had any contact with him since the day they picked him up at the Hanshi.

"They say he's done that before," Lan Xichen tells him. "They think he'll return in a decade or two, maybe a little longer. Time is hard for immortals, they lose track easily."

That's all very well for them, but Meng Yao doesn't have a few decades to waste, and neither does Nie Mingjue. They're not immortals. One bad illness, a reckless driver, just tripping in the stairs, and it's all over until they reincarnate again, and Meng Yao is done with missed chances.

If he can't directly get in touch with Nie Huaisang, Meng Yao can make a few discreet calls to former buyers, and advise them to get their purchase asserted again, just in case. He makes sure to only contact people who bought legitimate artworks of course. He wants to make a wave, not get in trouble. If Meng Yao knows Nie Huaisang even half as well as he thinks he does, then even in hiding Nie Huaisang will be checking what’s happening in the world of art collectors, and he’ll hear about some of his buyers suddenly becoming fearful of fakes.

It’s a little mean perhaps, when Nie Huaisang is so proud of his counterfeits, but kindness has never been Meng Yao’s greatest quality.

Besides, it works.

One afternoon, when Meng Yao is alone at home, checking a job offer that he’s probably going to reject because he deserves better, there’s a knock on the door. Meng Yao considers ignoring it, but some of his elderly neighbours have been coming to ask for help with their phones or whatever new fancy blender their kids got them to make life easier. Usually, five minutes of easy work means free homemade food for his next meal, which is always a great deal.

When he opens the door, there’s a very old man waiting in the corridor alright, but free food is probably out of the question.

“Well, I’m here,” Nie Huaisang says. “Whatever is going on, it’d better be important.”

#xisangyao #xiyao #sangyao #xisang #counterfeit au #lan xichen #jin guangyao #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #jau writes

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dramaqueeenamby · 3 years

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Waves: The Read

A/N: I am a shady bitch, and I regret nothing. Also, if ya’ll remember, Mercedes is Summer’s publicist/manager. I mentioned that in a few waves, so don’t get confused, friends!

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 2K

Masterlist

TAGS: @notacamelthatsmywife @babe-im-bi @liquorlaughslove @letsshamelessqueen-m @missyperle @valkryienymph @tashawar @mani-lifes @missdforever @hello-therree @toni9 @queenshikongo3

"How many solos has my sister had?"

The room grew quiet, all eyes on the speaker. They’d just finished a number, or rather, Finn and Rachel had just finished a number. The rest of the students served more as props than singers. Ad-libs only constituted so much.

Mr. Schue’s smile dimmed. Slightly. "W—what?"

Alexus shrugged, motioning around the room. "Or any of the kids whose names aren’t Flipper or Rachel?"

"It’s Finn."

"I don’t care," she dismissed, eyes still on the instructor. "I’ve been here a whole week, and not once have I seen someone other than Cher and Sonny score solos."

Mr. Schue scoffed, crossing his arms. "Now, hold on a second, I treat all my students fairly. Any student is allowed to audition for a solo—"

"And how many who have auditioned actually received one, other than your prized pupils?"

Mercedes stood up. "Alexus—"

"No." Alexus lifted her hand and looked over at her sister. "This isn’t right, and you’re too kind and understanding to say anything, so I will."

"You’re out of line, Alexus."

She laughed, looking back at him. "Out of line? I’m not one of your little students, and you’re not going to shut me down like you do them. I’m going to say what I want and need to say, and then I’ll leave, but you’re going to catch this read, first."

"And, cut!"

Summer broke from character and offered Matthew a fake smile before turning away and catching Amber’s gaze. They shared an unspoken exchange, one that caused Amber to laugh after Summer rolled her eyes.

Summer didn’t know why she was so weary about accepting this role. Only 10% of it was acting, the rest was her actually reading the problematic cast members, which was all but a handful. But, to fulfill her petty side and get paid?

It was a double win.

Summer noticed Ryan was speaking with Lea, which ignited another eye roll. She was the guest star, not that Barbara Streisand wannabe. Still, Summer counted her blessings, because she could only take Ryan in small doses. He wasn’t as bad as his prized actress, but it was the fact that he allowed her to treat everyone like shit that made her think less of him.

Perhaps she was spoiled in the sense that every other director she’d had the privilege of working for would never tolerate such behavior. She had to accept that Hollywood was a game, and the rules changed constantly.

"Someone was having fun," Mercedes, Summer’s assistant chimed, coming to walk beside her.

Summer feigned innocence. "I have no idea what you’re talking about."

Mercedes smirked. "Yeah, right. You weren’t acting. You were giving them all a piece of your mind."

Summer retained her smile as they reached her trailer, Summer opening the door so Mercedes could enter first. "Are you trying to insinuate that I was using my job to tell these people how I really feel?"

"I surely was."

As soon as the door closed, Summer confessed. "You know me so well."

The two laughed. "Girl, you know Lea is probably complaining to Ryan right now."

Summer sucked her teeth. "You know she is." Walking over to the kitchenette area, she turned on the Keruig and opened the drawer to select a pod. Her hand ghosted between the caramel and the dark magic, before she settled for caramel. "That black bitch—"

Mercedes snickered. "You sound just like her."

Summer frowned as she insert the pod and selected 8oz. "God, you’re right. I have to have to get out of here."

Smiling, Mercedes swiped down to refresh her emails. "Hey, look at it this way, you keep up this level of performance, and you’re a shoe-in for that Primetime Emmy.

The idea of adding another award to her resume was more than enough to keep Summer focused and dedicated. As a dark skinned black woman, she had to work ten times harder just to remain 20 steps behind. Anything she could do to push herself, she cherished.

Summer added creamer and sugar to her coffee, blowing before taking a sip. "After this, I need a quick break."

Mercedes hummed. "Umm, about that—"

"No."

"Summer—"

"No, Cedes, I’ve been working back to back since I scored 4AM, I think I’ve earned a little vacation time."

"I don’t disagree." Mercedes raised her hands in surrender.

"Thank you," Summer nodded, taking another sip of her coffee.

"But—"

"Here you go."

"I’m just saying, I’m hearing rumors about a potential role that’s gonna start casting in a couple of months."

Summer rolled her eyes and brought the mug to her mouth. "And?"

"And." Mercedes also rolled her eyes. "It’d be perfect for you."

"Mmmhmm."

"Summer," Mercedes lowered her voice. "It’s Storm."

Summer narrowed her eyes. "Storm?" Mercedes nodded. "You don’t mean—"

"X-Men Storm? I surely do."

Summer gasped and covered her mouth. "Bitch!"

"I know!" Mercedes giggled, shushing her client. "So do you see why I want you to keep your options open?"

Summer downed the remainder of her coffee and washed her mug in the sink all the while still stuck on the information she’d been told. "Do you really think I could be Storm?"

"Summer, please, you won an Oscar for your first Hollywood role. You’re a shoe-in."

"What about Shipp?"

"Shipp can skip her ass off somewhere."

The two women laughed when a knock on the trailer door prompted Summer to walk over, opening and smiling when she saw Amber. "Hey girl, come on in."

"I wish." Amber rolled her eyes. "Lea’s ready to start filming again. I mean, Ryan is ready to start filming again."

"You’ve got to be kidding me." Summer checked the watch on her wrist. "It hasn’t even been twenty minutes."

Amber sighed. "You know the saying. She says jump. We say—"

"Trip, bitch."

Amber laughed, as Summer looked back at Mercedes, pointing a finger. "This conversation isn’t over."

Mercedes winked at Summer, the two actresses sauntering back onto set.

Summer wondered if Lea had been listening outside her trailer, because it seemed as if Ms. Michele was purposely antagonizing Summer. Any scenes they had together, Lea would abruptly call cut and give Summer "pointers," all the while Ryan sat in his chair and said nothing.

Summer, forever the professional, managed to keep her composure, but there was only so much she could take.

Finally, when it came time for Summer to film her final scene, she saw an opportunity.

"Alright, and action!"

"I just want you to know that despite your distasteful behavior toward me, I hold no animosity and hope that one day you can release your unwarranted rage, and we can be cordial once I’m on Broadway."

Alexus turned to Rachel and tilted her head, crossing her arms. "I don’t like you. Never have, never will."

Rachel’s smile faltered. "Well, I-I’m sorry you feel that way, but--."

"Let me explain something to you, Berry. This is Lima, Ohio. The biggest thing we have going for us here is Breadstix, a restaurant chain that’s been on it’s last leg since that lawsuit filed by the kid who got two breadsticks stuck up her nostrils."

"I’m much better now."

Alexus ignored Britany and continued. "So, I’ll give you this, this small town notoriety and fame, because I know and you know, that once you actually make it out into the real world, reality is going to slap you so hard, you won’t need to have a nose job."

"Alexus—"

"Your stardom is limited to this pathetic town and its almost entirely pathetic population. And don’t get me wrong, you’re very good at manipulating and controlling individuals, because you can. For now. But, let’s be real, your voice isn’t anything I haven’t heard coming from street singers in NYC. Face it, you don’t have the talent nor the looks to make it into this big star you think you’re going to be. NYADA?" Alexus laughed. "Maybe you’ll make it, I doubt it, and even if you do, once you realize how utterly mediocre your narcissistic ass truly is compared to real talent, you’ll come crying back to Lima and spend the rest of your life working nights at Breadstix while watching reruns of Funny Girl on a goodwill VHS player." A beat. "Now, how’s that for raining on your parade?"

"And, cut!"

——

PRESENT TIME

"Christopher, stop!" Summer laughed as Chris came from behind and lifted her up against his solid frame. "I’m trying to do my makeup."

"You don’t need it," he murmured into her neck. "It’s going to end up all over the pillows anyw—"

"Sir!"

"Autumn."

"Would you please leave me alone?" Summer managed to wiggle herself free from her husband, flipping him off when he slapped her ass. "I am a human being."

"Allegedly."

"Alleged—lemme stop before I end up going to jail." She leaned over and examined her skin, feeling for the tackiness to see if her primer had settled. "This is why I can never do my makeup right. If it’s not him, it’s the twins."

We wanna see the babies!

I don’t get it. Why is she always so mean to him???

^^^^You must be new around here…

What makeup do you use?

Summer caught the last comment and grabbed her foundation and concealer, flashing them on the camera. "You know I have to support my girl, Ri. It’s Fenty Beauty all day everyday over here, ya’ll."

More comments came rolling in, Summer partially paying attention while she tried to do her makeup. Chris was taking her out on a date, the first they’d been on since the birth of the twins.

Summer was actually excited. She was in much need of alone time with her husband.

She grabbed the Snap shadow and blending brush when she noticed majority of the comments kept mentioning Lea Michele.

She didn’t even attempt to hide her distaste. "Why are ya’ll asking me about that girl? Did something happen?" Different stories were coming in prompting Summer to do her own research. "Baby, can I see your phone?"

Without hesitation, Christopher jogged into the bathroom, grabbing onto Summer’s hips while she typed Lea’s name into google.

Five minutes into reading, Summer slammed his phone onto the counter.

"Finally!"

"You’re paying for that," Chris muttered, grabbing his phone, thankful that it wasn’t cracked.

"Sorry, baby." She leaned up and kissed his cheek before looking into her phone. "Ya’ll, okay, most of you should remember I played Mercedes sister, Alexus, on Glee, right?" A wave of "yes" rolled in. "So, I’ve worked with the bitch, and I am not exaggerating when I say bitch. That heifer is literally the worst person I have ever had the displeasure of working with."

Summer pushed Christopher out the bathroom, in case her adding onto the Lea Michele drag train somehow ended up bad. "Now, I’d heard she was a nightmare, but I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt."

"But, literally the first time I walked onto set and introduced myself to her, she looked me up and down, turned up her nose, and walked away." Summer clapped and covered her mouth. "It took everything in me not to call her ass out, but it was my first day, and I didn’t want to cause a scene."

"Obviously, I was a recurring star on the show so I would make appearances throughout the series, and each time I was there, she treated me, and everyone around her, like trash."

"Okay, but here’s the real tea, you know that read Alexus gave Rachel in season 3? That wasn’t in the script." Summer laughed at the comments. Her fans were freaking out. "My line ended when I told her I didn’t like her or something, but it was my last day of filming, and I’d literally had enough of her."

Even more comments came rolling in of laughing, frog, and tea emojis. Summer sucked her teeth and placed her hand on her hip. "Ya’ll, her white ass thought she was gone’ be a thirty something Maria from West Side Story on broadway." A beat. "Somebody had to let her know!"

#chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth fanfiction #chris hemsworth fanfic #chris hemsworth x black!reader #chris hemsworth x reader #chris hemsworth x black!oc #fic: waves

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jamaisjoons · 5 years

Text

faded love | pjm

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 he doesn’t need to say it. because you can feel your husband, park jimin, falling out of love with you. 〞married couple au.

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: jimin x reader

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: angst (rip sorry) ⋆ fluff ⋆ smut

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 16k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: couples therapy (is that a warning?), cheating/infidelity, some swearing, soft mushy smut, oral (female receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, creampie, lots of kissing, this is just v soft mushy sex, like super light softcore romantic porn

➵ 𝑎/𝑛: W H A T I S U P D E M O N S! I’m back with another instalment of the mixtape series, i sincerely hope you all enjoy it!! almost everything is read through and edited except the smut because like,,, its 4am and the sun is coming up and i’m ill and tired

⇥ part of the mixtape series

⏤ unedited

The signs were there.

Your relationship with your husband, Park Jimin, was slowly fading; slowly dwindling into nothingness. You don’t really recall exactly why you’ve been drifting apart or what caused the start of the drift. All you knew, was that one day, two months ago, your husband had come home with a changed, indifferent air around him. Within that long agonising month, you had tried everything to garner his attention. You suggested bike riding down the Han River liked you used to when you began dating, trying to rekindle some of the love and passion in your relationship. However, Jimin had refuted the offer, claiming he had a busy day at work and he was tired. When you suggested a date night, something relaxing like a movie and dinner, Jimin had rebuked that too, not wanting to leave home. But when you’d suggested staying in and watching a film, he’d turned that down too; heading straight to bed instead.

For two months you tried whatever you could. From planned days in so that he could rest if he was tired, all the way to suggesting fun and exciting things like trips to museums or the park like you used to when you were dating. But each and every single idea was turned down with some excuse or another. At some point you began wondering if you had done something to annoy him or said something that caused him to begin pulling away from you. But no matter how much you racked your brain, you couldn’t pinpoint any thing. He was just no longer interested in spending time with you.

You let out a soft sigh, looking at the time before your shoulders droop in disappointment. You picked at your bowl, moving around the rice with your chopsticks before you sigh and place the wooden sticks down. Getting up, your grabbed the bowls and placed them on the kitchen counter before returning for the banchan dishes. Apathetically, you begin placing them in small tupperware containers. Tonight was another night that Jimin hadn’t come home in time for dinner. Another night he’d stayed later at the office.

You know he’s busy, being the CEO of a major company and everything but that didn’t mean that you didn’t miss him. It had been more than a few months since you’d even had dinner with him, let alone seen him. Before this weird slump in your relationship, Jimin would always make time for you. He’d leave work at six on the dot just so he could be home by seven to have dinner with you. You still remember it fondly.

[Flashback two and a half months ago]

You turned the stove off, before taking the steaks off of the pan, placing them on a plate to rest. Meanwhile, you pulled the potatoes out of the oven and plated them. Checking over the time, you let out a small smile. It was almost seven o’clock; which meant Jimin would be home soon. Tossing the salad, you moved the bowl to the dining table. It didn’t take you long to finish setting up the table, dimming the lights and lighting the candles for a little mood lighting.

Glancing at the clock once again, your stomach somersaults in anticipation. It was seven o’clock, which meant your beloved husband would be home at any moment now. You don’t have to wait long, in fact you’re barely waiting a few seconds, before you hear the telltale sound of keys jingling in the door. You spin on your heel, grinning with giddiness as your beautiful husband walks through the living room and into the dining room, one arm behind his back.

Jimin takes in the scene with a surprised gasp, his lush lips forming a perfect ‘o’, from the hot dinner laden on the table, to the candlelight, to your made up self. His face softens and he lets out a tender smile, walking up to you and taking you in his one free arm. The toned arm wraps around you, pulling you into him before he swoops down, crushing your lips between his plush ones.

You practically melted into his embrace, a soft sigh leaving your mouth as you taste him. Your hands move from your side to rest on his chest, pressing softly into the taut muscles before sliding up and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him down and closer to you. A couple moments later, he pulls away but only slightly, his lips still lingering next to yours. You slowly open your eyes, staring deeply into his as he peppers soft, lazy kisses on your lips.

“I missed you so much” Jimin whispers, his lips grazing yours from how close he is, voice slightly hoarse from your kiss. You let out a small smile, standing on your tip toes and kissing him once again. Suddenly, he’s moving the arm behind his bag, brandishing a beautiful bouquet of pale cream roses and white lilies. You gasp slightly, completely unsurprised, but loving the tender gesture anyway. You take the bouquet from him gently, deeply inhaling the strong musky scent of the lilies mixed with the sweet scent of roses.

“You hate the smell of lilies” You point out, turning and walking back into the kitchen to fetch a vase. Jimin lets out a small huff, following you like a puppy.

“I do” Jimin says, nose scrunched at the strong smell of the flowers.

“And you still buy them every week because?” You question, placing the bouquet in a vase filled with water as your finger traces a petal.

“Because you love lilies and I love you, even if I can’t stand the smell of them” Jimin replies, pressing his chest against your back and wrapping his arms around your waist before kissing the back of your shoulder tenderly. Your heart swells at his gesture, leaning back into his embrace.

“I love you” You whisper, Jimin’s arms tightening around you.

“I love you too. More than I thought it possible to love someone” Jimin replies, pressing another kiss onto your shoulder. You let out a small sigh before unwrapping his arms from around your waist and dragging him into the dining room. Jimin takes a seat at one end, you on the other. You reach over to serve him but he lightly smacks your hand away before entwining his fingers with yours, pulling your hand to his lips and kissing the spot he hit.

“You already cooked dinner; at least let me serve you” Jimin says and you bite your lip to try and stop your smile. You nod, taking a seat once again as Jimin serves you both a steak along with some salad and potatoes. The two of you fall into an easy silence, just the sound of cutlery scraping against the ceramic plates filling the room. Jimin takes a bite, plush lips slightly pouted and soft cheeks puffed as he chews. He closes his eyes and lets out a small groan, revelling in the taste.

“Gods, this steak is amazing. You really spoil me ____” Jimin says, relishing in the flavour. You chuckle slightly at his over exaggeration.

“I thought we could have something a bit different than our usual” You replied cheerily and Jimin nods, sending you a thumbs up.

“Definitely a good idea. Ten out of ten”

“So how was work?” You ask and Jimin lets out a small sigh before he begins speaking about how hard his day had been. You wince slightly when he tells you he had to fire a CFO for embezzling money and then had to spend the rest of the day sorting out the mess and the paperwork. You reach over and place your hand on his, offering him the little bit of comfort you could. You, yourself, could never understand stuffy office jobs. Instead, you owned your own little clothing company, from which you could work at home as you designed whatever came to mind.

“But enough of me. How was your day? Did you design anything brilliant?” Jimin questions, and you nod enthusiastically. You quickly get up run into your little design studio, grabbing your sketchbook and bringing it back to him. You flip open to the newest page, showing off your creation as you explain it to him. For the most of it, Jimin smiles and encourages you to continue, making small comments on what he thinks you could improve every now and then.

You spend the rest of dinner idly chatting, fingers lightly touching each other; just wanting to feel the other. And then, when dinner is done, Jimin drags you into your shared bedroom, proceeding to show you just exactly how much he missed you at work.

[End of flashback]

A small smile falls on your face as the fond memory ends. You glance back at the clock. It’s only a little past eight. Eyes flicking to the packed tupperware containers, you make a quick decision. Jimin had been working late far too much lately and you couldn’t fault him for that, being a CEO he was busy. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t head over to his company and take dinner to him. When was the last time you had done that? You can’t even remember. Determination floods you and you nod to yourself before packing up the containers into a bag.

Half an hour later, you find yourself at Jimin’s company. You walk through the large glass doors, heels clicking along the marble flooring. The reception greets you with a smile and bow, most of the company workers already knowing who you are. You enter the elevator, clicking the button that leads you to Jimin’s floor before standing in the middle, humming along to the elevator music, food in your hands.

A couple moments later and the elevator dings, doors opening. Jimin’s secretary is nowhere to be found, most likely already gone home for the day considering it’s already nine o’clock. You look towards the glass window, shoulders slumping as you realise he’s in with someone. Vaguely, she looks familiar to you. Her long hair flows down her back, dressed in a burgundy pant suit. Her face turns slightly and recognition fills you. If you remember correctly, her name was Cheon Yoojin and she was a CEO of a company Jimin was hoping to merge with. You had met her three months ago.

[Flashback three months ago]

“God I hate these parties” Jimin whines, his hand on your back as he leads you through the large gallery, smiling at various people as he passes them. You roll your eyes before elbowing him in the stomach lightly.

“It’s not like I enjoy being here either. We only do this because your company holds these parties and as the CEO you have to attend” You replied shortly, Jimin sighing.

“I know, I know! But that doesn’t mean I have to like it” Jimin whines before he pulls you closer, “it doesn’t help when you look as good as you do. I just want to take you home” Jimin whispers in your ear, voice low. You blush, face heating before you elbow him again.

“Jimin! You can’t do that here” You admonish, Jimin sighing before pouting again.

“Let’s just get this over and done with so we can leave” Jimin says and you giggle at his words before leaning in closer.

“You know… I’m not wearing any underwear” You whisper lowly in his ear. Jimin’s eyes widen, his gaze flicking towards your backside before groaning lowly.

“You can’t just tell me I’m not allowed to say I want to take you home and then tell me that” Jimin gripes. You send him a suggestive look before shrugging and walking away from his, a slight sway to your hips. Jimin groans, almost as if in pain, before following you quickly, hand once again on the small of your back.

“Just wait till we get home” Jimin growls and you bite your lip to suppress the small grin forming on your lips.

Jimin leads you to a small group of people. Most of them are men who are much older than your husband; all standing around talking about whatever business men spoke about. Their wives stand next to them, engaging in their own conversation about whatever gossip was running through the community. If you were being honest, you didn’t really care. Most of them were boring old men who cared far too much about money and having the best trophy wife. The wives were no better, most of them marrying rich with nothing better to do than to gossip about everyone else. However, amongst them, is one woman who looks about the same age as your husband, maybe slightly older.

“Gentleman. Ladies” Jimin greets with a small bow of respect towards his seniors. The men turn to him, smiling and nodding back.

“Ah! Jimin-ssi! It’s nice of you to finally join your own party. We were just talking about when you and your lovely wife would show up” one of the men says, practically leering at you with sparkling eyes as he rakes over your figure. You felt your stomach turn queasy, Jimin’s hold on you tightening. You smile tightly, knowing you had to be respectful, no matter how much you wanted to grab his wife’s drink and spill it in his face. What a pig!

“____-ssi, that’s a beautiful dress! Did you design it yourself?” One of the wives gushes, looking at your floor length gown. You turn to her, smiling politely as you nod.

“Oh it’s wonderful! You simply must design one for me” Another wife pipes in and you pull out a business card from your purse, handing it to her. She smiles brightly, taking it from your grasp. This was the only reason you even loathed to attend these parties. In fact, your biggest customer base was desperate housewives who had nothing better to do than spend their husband’s money. Custom made designer clothing was sought after throughout the entire community. Not just anyone could afford an entire wardrobe of hand tailored clothing after all.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met” the young woman says and you turn to her, blinking slightly. Up close she’s incredibly beautiful, from her sharp eyes and red lips all the way down to her elegant neckline. She’s built like a supermodel and you briefly wonder just whose wife she is.

“Yoojin-ssi, this is my wife ____. Yeobo, this is Cheon Yoojin. She’s the CEO of a company I’m hoping to merge with. Do you remember? I told you about it before” Jimin introduces and your eyes widen slightly. You reach out your hand, diamond wedding ring glinting in the light as you shake hands with Yoojin. You can’t help but admire and respect her; not only was she stunningly beautiful, she was also the CEO of a successful company at her young age. Not to mention she somehow had the respect of all the older men around her, who still only saw you as a piece of arm candy despite your own incredibly successful, albeit small, clothing business.

The two of you stand with the group for another ten minutes. Jimin engages in conversation with the men and Yoojin, trying to keep the conversation business related. However, for the most of it, the men only want to comment on the different women around, making slightly misogynistic comments every now and then that has you and Yoojin rolling your eyes. The wives don’t even bother paying attention to the conversation, instead trying to drag you into a conversation on your newest clothing line. You don’t divulge much, knowing that the added suspense and secrecy would undoubtedly ignite their curiosity and make them want to buy your clothing even more.

“Gentleman. Ladies. If you’ll excuse us, I would like to dance with my wife” Jimin says after a while, the women around him swooning and gushing as they watch Jimin lead you away.

“God that was awful. If I had to spend one more second there with those men ogling you, I was going to lose my mind” Jimin gripes, leading you towards the dancefloor. His arms wrap around your waist, pulling you close, your own arms wrapping around his neck automatically; fingers entangling in the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Yeah… try being the one they’re speaking about" You answer, rolling your eyes as you remember some of their words from before.

"Let's just forget them and enjoy ourselves, yeah?" Jimin says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You nod, tucking your head under his chin as he gentle sways you to the music.

You breathe him in deeply, taking in his deep citrus and musk cologne, letting the smell wash over you. Closing your eyes, you lose yourself in the feel of his presence wrapped around you, allowing him to slowly lead you around the dancefloor. Jimin removes one of your hands from around his neck, entangling your fingers together and kissing the pads of your fingertips before once again wrapping it around his neck. His cheek is pressed into your head as he sways you; one of his hands on the small of your back while the other sits loosely on the back of your hip.

"I hate these parties so much but..." Jimin whispers, his breath fanning the hairs on your head.

"But?"

"But they're slightly more bearable with you. I love you" Jimin whispers, his voice low in your ear and yet it rings louder than even the classical music from the orchestra.

"I love you too" you sigh, more than happy to just be in your husband’s arms.

[End of flashback]

You remember the night with a happy smile, gripping the bag of food even tighter as you think about finally spending time and having dinner with your husband once again. You needed him to stop pulling away from you because of work and spend some time with you because you missed him dearly. You turn back to his office, wondering if they were done.

And then your heart stops.

Because there is your husband, the love of your life, with his lips on Cheon Yoojin.

Your heart instantaneously drops to your stomach. You can hear the drumming of your heartbeat thunder in your ears, drowning out the sound of anything else. You can't look away from the scene. A small part of you waits for something to happen. For Jimin to push her off. For him to tell her he loves you. For him to stop kissing her.

But moments pass and he's still locked lips with her. A slight hope flares in your chest as he pulls away from her. You watch the scene, completely fixated in a sick, twisted way. But then, he steps closer to her, his eyes dark and filled with want. The way he looks at you. His hand grabs her chin and then he pulls her into another kiss. The small inkling of hope that ignited in your chest completely burns out and you're left with nothing but an aching, broken heart.

Your fist clenches around the hand of the bag carrying your now completely cold dinner. You close your eyes, finally breaking away from the scene. Spinning on your heel, you walk away, your heart breaking with every step.

Somehow, you manage to stop yourself from breaking down in the car ride home. Somehow, you hold yourself together right up until you enter your home. Home... what a strange word. This was definitely your home. But now, it didn't feel like it. You trudge through the apartment, breath shaky and tears welling in your eyes. But they still don't fall. You feel completely numb.

You walk into your room, completely catatonic and moving as if on auto pilot. You sit on your bed, staring at nothing in particular as you remember the way he kissed her. The scene plays in your mind over and over again. As if it were a broken record stuck on repeat. The moonlight streaming through your window catches a large photo frame hanging on one of the walls. Your eyes are unspeakably drawn to the glinting photo.

It's your wedding photo.

It's a candid shot. You and Jimin are staring at each other, smiling tenderly at one another. Jimin's arm is around your waist, his head slightly bent and leaned into yours, almost as if he's about to kiss you. The white of your dress is a stark contrast against his black suit, the pale pink bouquet of roses on the floor as you hold onto his arms. The sun is setting in the background, both your silhouettes set ablaze with a halo of sunlight.

You remember the day as if it were yesterday. It was the happiest day of your life. Jimin sang to you in that sweet voice of his. He danced with you. Held you close. He kissed you and told you he loved you. The memory of him reciting his wedding vows pops into your mind. Followed immediately by the memory of seeing him kiss Yoojin.

And then you can't help it. You break down, sobs wracking through your body as you cry into the dark, quiet of your room. Your body shakes with your cries, tears flowing freely. You feel the warmth of them run down your cheeks before disappearing into your shirt. You fall back onto the bed, curled into a ball as you weep out all your feelings, all the hurt and heartache you feel. Your husband was cheating on you.

Park Jimin was cheating on you.

You cry and cry until finally, you can't cry anymore. You're throat is raw, now only dry hiccuping as you somehow run out of tears. Your heart aches, your headaches and your eyes sting. You slowly close your eyes, still sobbing but tears refusing to fall. Your cries are quiet in the night, slowly dying until you finally fall asleep from exhaustion.

He doesn't come home that night.

You're not surprised.

When he comes home the next day, he apologises to you saying he had to work late. A part of you wants to call him out, to tell him that you know. But you can't bring yourself to say the words. You know that as soon as you do, there's no going back. The minute you tell him you know, your relationship with Park Jimin is over. But despite how much he's hurt you, you still love him with everything you have. Your heart still belongs to him. You still want and need him in your life.

A part of you thinks that perhaps you could just never mention it and try everything in your power to bring him back to you. So that's what you do. You try to appeal to him more, try to spend more time with him. You try your hardest to remind you why he fell in love with you and why he married you. But the harder you try, the more he pulls away. Bit by bit, he slips from your life. You can feel him fall out of love with you; see it in his eyes. He didn't buy you flowers every week anymore. He no longer kissed you goodbye. He no longer sent you little messages about how much he loved and missed you. The more you try to occupy his attention, the more he refutes you, and your heart just aches all over again, longing for him to come back to you.

Months pass like this. Every time he leaves for work, you wonder if he's going to meet her. You wonder if he's buying her flowers like he used to for you. You wonder if he's texting her photos of the cats he spots on his way to work. You wonder if he kisses her like he used to kiss you. You don’t want to, but you can’t help but wonder if he loves her the way he loved you.

You sit at your desk, staring at your blank art book. You haven't had the inspiration to design anything recently. Your eyes well up with tears and you try to blink them away, not wanting to cry anymore. There was something that you could still do to bring him back. Surely, you weren’t supposed to just watch your husband disappear.

You turn to one of the clothing racks in your design room, a piece of lingerie sticking out. It's a soft baby blue colour, made of satin and lace. You remember designing it with Jimin in mind; knowing that he'd love seeing you in it.

Suddenly, an idea pops in your head and you quickly grab the lingerie off the rack. You enter the bathroom, looking yourself over before grimacing. Your eyes were red and bloodshot, skin slightly pale and hair practically a rat’s nest. When was the last time you had even brushed it? You shake your head, stripping and getting in the shower. You spend the next hour or so shaving every part of your body, deep conditioning your hair and moisturising your body. When you're done in the bathroom, you walk to your vanity before dolling up yourself as much as you can. When you're finally done, your makeup is perfectly blended and light, highlighting your natural features, your still hair still slightly damp and dripping down your neck, drawing attention to your breasts in the lingerie.

You hear the front door open and your stomach churns with nerves. Your palms become sweaty but you shake of the anxious feeling. It shouldn't be hard to seduce your own husband. You had done so many times before, sometimes without even trying. You could do it once again. You'd show him how much you loved him and try and remind him how much he loved you.

The bedroom door opens and you stand up, facing him with your most sultry look. Jimin trudges into the room and you walk up to him, your hips swaying slightly. Jimin's jaw drops, his eyes raking your figure and excitement fills your entire being as you begin feeling giddy. He gulps slightly, his mouth slightly ajar as he takes in the powder blue lingerie against your skin. You place a hand on his chest and stare up at him through half lidded eyes, your bottom lip slightly poked out in a pout.

"I missed you" You whisper, voice deliberately husky, hand running down his chest. However, before you can reach the waistband of his trousers, Jimin's hand is shooting out, catching your hand in his. You startle slightly, eyes snapping towards his in shock. You search his eyes and your heart breaks at the obvious guilt flashing in them as well as the reluctance.

"I'm not... in the mood ___... I'm tired" Jimin says but you know it's an excuse. Suddenly, you spot a pink mark hidden behind his ear and you pull your hand away as if he's burned you. You stare at him in shock, your eyes scanning over his entire face, looking for any sign that would prove your hunch wrong. You find none.

His eyes are alight with guilt and nervousness, his hair slightly damp with sweat. The pink mark is unmistakably a hickey, and now that you weren't focused on seducing him, you can smell the faint scent of sex around him. You step away from him, eyes wide in disbelief.

You don't even wait for him to say anything, instead turning and walking away from him.

After that, you try less and less. If Jimin's noticed a change, he doesn't say anything. Instead, he's content to go along as if there isn't a huge rift amongst the two of you. You spend all your time throwing yourself into your work, designing and putting out clothing as if you were a machine. It helps take your mind off of things; helps you stop wondering where he is.

The day you dread comes six months after the first time you caught him cheating that night in his office. Jimin comes home early and the minute he steps into your home, you notice something is wrong. He's slightly nervous and fidgety, barely able to look you in the eyes. He calls you to the dining room and you join him, sitting across from him stoically as you watch him.

You both sit in silence for a few moments, neither of you saying anything. You open your mouth to ask him what this is about but before you can say anything, Jimin is pushing some papers across towards you. Your stare blankly at them before turning back to him, face scrunched in confusion. And then he says the words you've been dreading.

"Let's get a divorce."

The minute the words leave his mouth, you're heart is completely shattered, throat automatically closing up. You want to fight, you want to yell at him and ask him why. But you’re exhausted. And you know why. So instead, you reach out for the papers and passively stare at them. Jimin's brows furrow slightly and he shifts again, looking at you awkwardly. He waits for you to say something, waits for you to question why. But the words never come. Finally, when he's tired of squirming, he asks.

"Are you not going to ask why? I was expecting a fight. Or maybe some emotion" Jimin says but you're unresponsive, simply staring at the divorce papers.

"I know why" You finally managed to croak out.m Jimin stiffens in his seat, sucking in a sharp breath.

"What?" He asks, voice barely above a whisper and laced with alarm.

"I know you're cheating on me with Cheon Yoojin... I know you've slept with her" You say, swallowing thickly as the words finally leave your mouth.

"How?"

"I... I came by your office one night to have dinner with you. I saw you kiss her... and then that night... when you pulled away from me. I saw the hickey she left and you smelled like sex..." You whisper, barely audible. But he hears it, as clear as day. Jimin shifts again, swallowing thickly.

"I'm-" He begins and you shake your head, hair flying with it.

"Don't apologise. Don't say you're sorry. If you were, you would have ended it at the kiss" You say, finally looking up from the papers and towards him. Jimin sucks in a breath; your eyes are completely empty, exhausted of any emotion. You stare at him blankly, eyes flitting over his face as you count the faint lines on his forehead, commit the shape of his lips to your memory, the way his eyelashes kiss his cheeks every time he blinks. Was this the last time you’d be this close to him?

"I felt you slip away. I felt you pull away every day while I tried to hold on as much as I could... I felt you slowly fall out of love with me" You whisper unable to look away from him, eyes welling up once again.

"I... I don't know what to say" Jimin replies, completely at a loss for words.

"Tell me there's a way we can fix this... you loved me once. We could work this out. Please," you practically beg, your voice pleading.

"I don't know" Jimin says, uncertainty present in his voice.

"Please! Let's go to couple's therapy or marriage counselling" You suggest and Jimin shakes his head.

"I don't think it will work" he refutes and you bite your lip.

"Please! If it doesn't work, I'll sign the papers without a fight. I won't argue with you. Just let's try... you owe me this. Please,” you plead and Jimin finally sighs.

“For how long? How long are we going to try and make this work? What if it still doesn’t help?” Jimin asks and you bite your quivering lip.

“Three months. Just three months. And if it doesn’t work, I promise I’ll sign and leave you alone” You propose. Jimin closes his eyes before nodding.

"Okay. Because I owe you that much" Jimin relents and you nod, hope flaring in your chest for the first time in months.

The first therapy session, you both find yourselves seated in a councillor's office. Jimin sits on one side of the sofa, you on the other. The distance between the two of you is short and yet it feels as if he's oceans away. You fidget in the seat, your therapist, Mr. Kim, looking at both of you carefully. He's sat cross legged, a pen and a pad of paper resting on his knees.

"Welcome. I'm Kim Namjoon, I will be your therapist for the next three months" Namjoon introduces and you nod, smiling nervously at him. Jimin looks at him apathetically.

"What brings you here?" Namjoon asks. You look at Jimin, waiting for him to say something, but when he doesn't you let out a small sigh before turning back to Namjoon.

"We've run into some problems... Jimin wants to get a divorce but I was hoping we could work it out" You say, and Namjoon nods, turning to Jimin.

"If you don't mind me asking, why do you want a divorce?" He questioned the other man.

"Things have changed between us" Jimin says simply and you wince from his slightly callous tone. How could he be so blasé? Was his mind really already made up? It hurt. It hurt seeing how okay he was to simply end your relationship when you were so far from being anywhere close to alright.

Namjoon asks you both more questions, trying to get the both of you to open up and speak more about your relationship. You answer as honestly and earnestly as you can, trying to get to the root of your problem. However, Jimin barely partakes in the discussion, content to simply let you speak. Namjoon looks at him briefly, his face passive before taking down some more notes. It was clear to him that you wanted to hold on to this relationship more than Jimin.

“Is there someone else?” Namjoon asks, watching the way Jimin stiffens before looking away slightly. He watches the way your shoulders slump, your legs shifting uneasily. There’s no response from either of you but he doesn’t need one.

“I see. How did you meet?” Namjoon asks, turning to Jimin. Jimin glares at him, jaw clenching. He briefly glances over to you, eyes heavy with emotion. It’s incredibly brief. You don’t notice it, far too absorbed in staring at the carpet while you try to drown out the conversation. But Namjoon sees it.

“Through work” comes his clipped reply, eyes once again trained on Namjoon.

“And why did you want or choose to spend more time with her than your wife?” Namjoon follows up.

“We just spent more time together because of work” Jimin responds through grit teeth. Namjoon makes a noncommittal noise, writing something else down in his notepad.

“And when was the last time you spent time with your wife?” Namjoon asks, leveling his stare at Jimin. Jimin freezes, unsure of how to respond. He couldn’t even remember. His lips downturn slightly, looking away as he tries to remember.

“April 18th” comes your soft voice. Jimin’s head snaps towards you, looking at you in horror, almost agog. Had it really been that long? That was more than half a year ago. Jimin could remember that date clearly. In fact, that was the date he and Yoojin had seriously begun meeting about the merger of their companies. Namjoon’s notes the distress on Jimin’s face before crossing his legs and levelling his gaze at both of you.

“Well, let’s start with spending time together then. Perhaps, if you both set aside some time once a week to just spend some time together again for let’s say… an hour?” Namjoon suggests. You look unsure, shrugging lightly before turning to Jimin in hope. Jimin for the most of it was still frowning. Had it really been that long? And why did you remember the date clearly? Namjoon clears his throat, drawing Jimin’s attention once again. Jimin clears his throat, focusing back on the conversation.

“What?”

“I suggested spending time with your wife once a week” Namjoon replies, looking at him pointedly. Jimin sighs before nodding, mind still jumbled over how long it had been since he’d spent time with you. Surely, it hadn’t been that long. There was no way. He racked his mind, trying to think of a time recently he’d been with you. With remorseful surprise, he realises he can’t think of any recent time. He swallows thickly before nodding.

“Yeah. Sure” comes his reply, eyes flicking momentarily towards you again.

“Alright. Let’s meet in two weeks then” Namjoon says with finality, ending the session.

A week later, you find yourself sitting in an ice cream shop, waiting for Jimin to join you. You shift nervously, wondering whether you should buy something or not. Glancing at your watch you sigh, you were ten minutes early. You shuffle around, trying to find a comfortable position but no matter how much you try, you can’t seem to find one. Letting out a little sigh, you take a deep breath trying to calm your nerves. You really shouldn’t be this nervous to meet with your own husband. And yet, for some reason, it feels like you’ve been thrown back years into the past, waiting for your boyfriend on your first date.

Ten minutes pass agonisingly slow. Every time the doorbell jingles, you look up expectantly, hoping to see your husband. Each time however, you’re left crestfallen. Another five minutes pass and you sigh in disappointment. Your husband, as usual, was late. Another ten minutes pass and you begin to grow anxious. Twenty minutes later and it’s been more than half an hour that you’ve been waiting for your husband. You begin to wonder if he was even going to show up at this point. Perhaps he had forgotten, or was more occupied with Yoojin. Perhaps he thought there was no point even turning up.

You wait another fifteen minutes and finally, when you tire of waiting, you start gathering your things. More than ready to up and leave as frustrated tears well up in your eyes. Just as you get up however, the door opens and Jimin walks in. He quickly walks over to you, sitting down at your booth.

“Sorry I’m late” He says but there’s no real apology in his tone. You know your husband well. After all, you’ve spent a decade together. You know him well enough to know that he’s not really sorry. You want to ask him where he was, to let him know you only have less than ten minutes of this ‘date’ left over. But you can’t bring yourself to say the words.

Instead, the two of you sit in silence just staring at each other. The atmosphere is awkward. You open and close your mouth a few times, trying to think of something to say but nothing comes to mind. Jimin simply looks around, looking at anything but you.

“How was work?” You finally ask, gathering the courage to say something.

“Fine” comes his clipped answer. You slump slightly at his closed response.

“How’s the merger coming along?” You gulp, not really wanting to ask considering exactly who he was merging with.

“Good” Jimin replies curtly. His phone suddenly buzzes, drawing his attention. You watch as he answers his phone, a small smile on his face. Your chest aches, knowing exactly who is on the other end making him smile. You try to draw his attention back to you, but Jimin stays engrossed on his phone. The ice cream parlour is filled with people, all happily chatting as they eat their ice creams, some couples even sharing a sundae. And yet despite the amount of people around you, you’ve never felt more alone.

“It’s three o’clock. I believe we’re done here?” Jimin says, putting his phone down. Your eyes widen and you stutter, unsure of what to say.

“But you just got here” You point out, voice shaky.

“Yeah… but I have to get back to the office” Jimin excuses before he gets up.

“Jimin-” You call out and he turns to you.

“Do… do you even love me anymore?” You whisper, dread heavy in your bones as the question slips from your lips. Jimin’s eyes soften and you see the hesitation on his face as he contemplates whether he should answer you or simply walk away. Finally coming to a decision, Jimin stares directly in your eyes and you can almost feel the next words.

“I don’t know” he replies, the uncertainty reflected in his eyes before he walks away.

You watch him walk away from you, eyes trained on his back. As soon as he leaves the shop, he picks up his phone, a large smile on his face. You turn away, staring at the table. Was this all a waste of your time? Were you trying to fix your marriage in vain? Were you just drawing out your own pain until the inevitable happens and Jimin pulls the trigger on your relationship? Were you destined to watch your husband walk away from you and fall in love with someone else? You bite your lip and breathe in deeply, willing the tears away, ignoring the pitying looks of everyone around you.

Your next therapy session falls a week after the disaster that was your meeting. Jimin is once again late, barely greeting the two of you. Namjoon’s eyes follow Jimin’s figure before flicking between the both of you. He jots something down in his notepad before smiling. You return your own uneasy smile, although it comes out more like a grimace.

“So let’s start with speaking about your date. How was it?” Namjoon asks, smiling encouragingly at both of you. You let out another grimace, looking away from him, unable to meet his eyes or even bring yourself to speak about the disastrous meeting. Jimin shrugs his own response, not saying anything. Neither of you say anything, but just from the thick tension in the atmosphere, Namjoon can already surmise what most likely happened.

“Okay then. Do you want to speak about where both of you think your marriage started going wrong?” Namjoon asks and you nod shakily. You really aren’t sure where it started going wrong. You had always been in love with Jimin and you still were. Even now, when seven o’clock struck, you’d find yourself looking towards the door, hoping he’d surprise you by walking in. And each time you’re left disappointed and distraught. Jimin hadn’t come home since he’d asked for a divorce; leaving you far more alone than you’d ever been in your huge luxury apartment.

“Can we cut this meeting short? There’s an emergency at the office” Jimin suddenly says and you whip your head towards him.

“And only you’re the one who can sort out this emergency?” Namjoon asks, quirking an eyebrow at him. You both know it’s an excuse. You both know your husband wants to be anywhere but here at the moment. His entire demeanour is closed off, arms and legs crossed as he stares out the window.

“I’m the CEO” comes Jimin’s reply and Namjoon nods.

“An important role yes. But isn’t your marriage equally important? Surely there are other people who can take care of the emergency” Namjoon presses, Jimin rolling his eyes.

“No there aren’t” he grits out, his eyes almost challenging Namjoon to continue pressing him. His entire response has you reeling. You don’t miss the way he glosses over Namjoon’s question about the importance of your marriage. But your worst fears are confirmed through both his words and actions. He really didn’t think your marriage was worth saving.

“Okay. ____-ssi, are you fine with cutting this meeting short?” Namjoon asks and you nod, now wanting to be as far away from Jimin as you possibly could be. You quickly gather your stuff before bowing and walking out of the office. Jimin moves to follow you, but Namjoon calls out his name, stopping him.

“Jimin-ssi, a moment please” Namjoon says. Jimin sighs before turning to him, looking at him in question.

“What?” Jimin grunts.

“It seems that your wife is trying much harder to save this relationship than you are” Namjoon points out and Jimin scoffs.

“She wants to save this marriage more than I do” Jimin answers, as if the answer was obvious, Namjoon humming.

“Perhaps. But I believe there’s a part of you that also wants to try and save this marriage. A part much larger than you even know” Namjoon says sagely, Jimin snorting.

“And why do you think that?” He asks, tone mocking and arms crossed as he begins tapping his legs impatiently, looking down at Namjoon.

“Because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here” Namjoon says, staring back through his thick frames.

“That’s not why I’m here” Jimin splutters, Namjoon raising an eyebrow.

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I owe her that much for cheating on her and for asking for a divorce” Jimin replies, voice slightly quiet as he looks away, guilt emblazoned in his eyes.

“No” Namjoon says, Jimin’s head whipping to look at him in confusion, “you owe her nothing. You cheated on her and you want a divorce. If you really wanted that, you would have just walked away. Every time you speak of your affair there’s guilt in your eyes, which if I may point out, wouldn’t be there if you really wanted to leave. You act like you don’t want to be here and that these sessions are a chore and yet you still turn up every week despite being a busy CEO. I’ve counseled a lot of marriages and I’ve only seen these things happen when the person wanting to leave really wants to stay or is unsure about walking away. That guilt in your eyes, is something I only see in partners who still love their significant others. Tell me something, when was the last time you actually paid attention to your wife?” Namjoon asks and Jimin balks, unsure of what to say at Namjoon’s sudden tangent. More important, he doesn’t know the answer to Namjoon’s question.

“If you have nothing to say that’s fine. Just think about it. I believe our next session is in another two weeks. I want you to think about this relationship carefully. If you want to stay, then stay and work to try and fix your marriage. But if not, then just walk away. Don’t prolong this. Break it off and let your wife grieve and move on cause right now, you’re causing her more pain by giving her false hope. I hope you make a decision by our next session” Namjoon says, his tone final. Jimin quickly leaves the room, his mind in a jumble for the first time in a while.

Was Namjoon right? Was he subconsciously holding onto your relationship?

The next time you meet Jimin, it’s once again at the ice cream parlour. You hesitate for a bit, staring up at the neon sign as you wonder if there’s any real point to going in. Jimin was most likely going to be late anyway and when he finally did turn up, he probably wouldn’t even pay attention to you. Perhaps it was best if you walked away from the ice cream shop and consequently away from your marriage. It would save you a lot of heartache. And yet, no matter how much you want to walk away, you simply can’t bring yourself to do so.

Therefore, you find yourself opening the door. You trudge through the shop, deciding that this time, you’d at least order some ice cream. That way, you wouldn’t look like some sad sop just sitting waiting for a man who no longer wanted to be with her. You walk up to the counter, the staff recognising you with a small pitying smile. You ignore their looks and order the biggest sundae you could find before taking a seat in the same booth you had a fortnight ago.

The clock strikes two o’clock and you sigh, your husband still nowhere in sight. You dig into your melting ice cream, letting the cookie and cream flavour slowly comfort you. Ten minutes later, however, to your greatest surprise, your husband rushes in. Jimin briskly walks over and you greet him with a small nod before turning your eyes back to your ice cream.

“I’m sorry! I tried to leave but my meeting ran later than I thought it would” Jimin quickly excuses and you shrug, squashing the little bit of hope that flares at his apologetic tone. There’s no point in hoping or longing for Jimin to stay anymore, he had already made his decision in wanting to leave you.

For the first time in over half a year, Jimin watches you; pays attention to you. Your eyes are downcast, idly scooping ice cream into your mouth. You refuse to look at him, your eyes staying trained on your sundae. He takes the time to take in your figure, guilt practically drowning him at how small and hopeless you look. Your hair still shines the way it used to, skin still glowing. Your makeup is flawless and you still dress yourself the same, carrying yourself like the high end fashion designer you were; and yet your entire demeanour screams exhaustion, your eyes practically empty. The sudden realization that he did that to you makes his stomach churn, throat closing up. When did he become the type of person to hurt someone he cared about so deeply?

He sits up straighter, his phone buzzing and Yoojin’s name popping up on screen. But instead of paying attention, he turns his phone on silent and flips it over as an extra measure. He had said he’d at least try and no matter what feelings he had for Yoojin, he knew he had to stick to his words. He owed you that much at least for hurting you so deeply. Jimin swallows thickly, eyes scanning over your face and willing you to look at him. He wants to say something, but he doesn’t even know where to start. He frowns slightly at that. You’d been together for almost ten years, so why was it suddenly so hard to speak to you?

All of a sudden, the distance between you two hits JImin like a freight train. He can feel the huge rift between the two of you. He frowns slightly, wondering when it had gotten so big. Did you always feel this far away from him? Why did it feel like you were worlds away, almost unattainable? The two of you had always been close, always been able to speak about everything and anything. There were times when you’d both wake up in the early hours of the morning, still in bed and voice heavy with sleep and speak about the smallest, silliest of things like how blue the ceiling was or the amount of steps it would take to walk to the moon. But now here you were, sitting completely in silence, the atmosphere so thick you could almost cut it with a knife. He waits for you to say something, for you to ask him how his day was or how work was. But you don’t.

Frustration wells up inside of him, wondering if you had given up on trying to work on your relationship. He freezes abruptly. Why did he care so much? Surely, that was good for him. It meant that you could both walk away. So, why did those thoughts fill him with dismay instead of joy? Why was his throat closing up, his heart heavy with emotion at the thought of you giving up on him? He gulps slightly, Namjoon’s words ringing in his mind. Was he right? Did he really want to try and save this marriage?

“How was your day?” Jimin asks, the words spilling out of his mouth before he even had a chance to think of them. He watches the way you sit up suddenly, eyes flicking to his figure in confusion. Guilt bubbles in his veins at the sudden surprise in your eyes. Was it really so shocking for him to ask you about your day? Was it so surprising for him to take an interest in your day? You were married after all. ‘Not for long’ his mind taunts. Jimin shakes his inner thoughts off. He tries to ignore the momentary distress at the thought of his ending marriage, but he can’t.

“It was… fine” comes your stilted answer and Jimin visibly winces at how awkward your words are. Silence washes over the both of you once again and Jimin shifts uneasily, the tension almost suffocating.

“How… how about work? You mentioned there were some talks about Lotte sponsoring you and allowing you to open a store in their department” Jimin questions and you nod, looking away slightly.

“That was months ago… I’ve had my own store for about half a year now” you reply, your voice quiet. Jimin feels dismayed, unsure of how to respond. He gapes at you, opening and closing his mouth as words escape you. That was a huge deal for you. In fact, for as long as he could remember, it had been your biggest dream. You’d always said that getting to opening a store in Lotte would be your greatest accomplishment. Was he so detached from your life that you hadn’t even mentioned such a milestone in your career? An uneasy feeling settled in his stomach. You just seemed to be getting further and further away from him. But that was a good thing. Right? So why wasn’t he happy?

“Why… why didn’t you tell me?” He finally manages to stutter out and you look at him in surprise, lips forming a thin line but he can see the hurt in your eyes, as clear as day.

“I did. Or at least, I tried to… you were busy with your… merger” you reply, voice whispering the last word. Jimin’s throat closes from emotion and he can feel his bottom lip trembling. Had he really been so absorbed in Yoojin and his affair that he’d missed your biggest dream come true? He didn’t know what to do with the information. He gulps, ready to ask you more about the deal and whether it was running smoothly but suddenly you’re getting up. He looks at you in alarm, watching as you gather your stuff.

“Where are you going?” Jimin blurts out in a panic, a small part of him wanting you to stay.

“It’s three o’clock. I didn’t want to keep you longer than you wanted to be here” You replied, voice small. Jimin flips his phone over, eyes almost bugging as he realised it had been almost an hour. He’d forgotten how quickly time would fly when you were together.

“Well then. I’ll see you at the next session. Goodbye” You say, a small bow accompanying your farewell. Jimin’s brows furrow as he watches you walk away. Why were you suddenly so formal? You had spent close to a decade together; you knew each other like the back of each other’s hands. Jimin freezes slightly, one question running through his mind.

When had you stopped kissing each other goodbye?

Over the next month and a half Jimin takes more interest in you and your relationship than he had in months. Between the little dates and long therapy sessions, Jimin now actively participating, the awkward tension slowly fades away and you wonder if perhaps it’s getting better and that there may be a chance that you both manage to salvage your relationship. A part of you still holds back for fear of the disappointment if Jimin still leaves at the end of all your therapy sessions. But for now, things were getting - hopefully - slightly better.

You check over the address, a slight frown on your face as you ensure you’re waiting at the right place. Your husband had suggested a change of scenery from the ice cream parlour, especially as you both were becoming ‘the odd couple’ at the shop. This week, you find yourself outside a horticultural and botanical garden centre.

“____! Here” Jimin calls out. You turn to him in shock, pleasantly surprised by his presence.

“You’re… early” You say, almost dumbly. Jimin blushes slightly, rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah sorry, I was late a lot wasn’t I?” Jimin asks and you bite your lip, nodding before looking away as you were reminded of the other woman in Jimin’s life. Was he still seeing her? You had no idea. It had been weeks since you’d even heard any mention of her. You didn’t even want to ask for the fear of the answer. But a small part of you hoped that he was done with her.

“Why are we here?” You ask, trying to move the conversation along. Jimin grins before grabbing your hand, pulling you into the centre.

“You once told me you loved flowers because they give you inspiration for your designs. So here we are! The largest botanical garden in Seoul” He says cheerily, paying the lady at the reception the money before guiding you into the gardens.

You let him drag you through the garden, your eyes more trained on your joint hands. He’s more loose lipped now, speaking freely about anything and everything under the sun. You don’t really know what caused the change in him, but suddenly he feels like he’s the Park Jimin you fell in love with. Vaguely, you hear him reading the little description of the flowers you were looking at, but you’re still too focused on your joint hands. His hands fit perfectly within yours, his palm pressed against yours, your fingers interlocked together.

“Hey ____? You listening?” Jimin calls out and you break out of your reverie, looking at him slightly dazed.

“Are you okay?” Jimin follows up, looking at you worriedly.

“I’m fine! Sorry, I spaced out for a bit. What were you saying?” You say and Jimin shakes his head, smiling fondly before turning back to the flowers.

“I said those look really pretty don’t they?” He repeats, pointing towards some small succulents growing near the ground. You crouch down towards them, reaching out and feeling the squishy leaves under your fingertips. You take in the different colours and sizes, from vibrant greens to muted purples. Jimin crouches down next to you, leaning in closely before whispering.

“Do you think they’d notice if we just took some home?”

His tone is conspiratorial and hushed, as if he were planning the most covert operation. You turn to him, taking in his completely serious face before bursting into a fit of giggles at the ridiculousness of it all. You laugh to yourself, hand pressed against your mouth as you try to stifle your laughter, people watching the two of you. Jimin doesn’t care at their sudden audience. Instead, he’s focus on your face.

Your cheeks were lightly flushed, head slightly bent over into your knees and cheeks bulging under your eyes. But most importantly, your eyes were sparkling with emotion. They weren’t empty or defeated like he’d become accustomed to seeing them. Jimin’s breath hitches. Was this the first time he’d heard you laugh in over half a year? He’d forgotten how it sounded. His face softened slightly as he watched you pull yourself together. He’d forgotten how much he loved hearing you laugh. You couldn’t have always been this beautiful laughing, could you? Jimin muses to himself.

“I think we should go. We’re getting strange looks” You whisper, before taking Jimin’s hand in yours and dragging him away. The action comes simply to you, both of you slipping into the easiness you once had in your relationship.

Walking hand in hand, you both navigate through the gardens, stopping every now and then when either of you spot a flower or plant you both like. You’re almost at the end of the garden when Jimin suddenly stops, his nose scrunched up in distaste. You look at him in question, but Jimin points towards a field behind you. You turn, your heart thrumming in your chest as you suck in a breath.

You’re surrounded by a field of lilies. Blooms of every colour you could imagine growing along the grassland. Your heart soars and you let go of Jimin’s hand, running through the field, giddiness coursing through your veins. Jimin is startled by the sudden loss of your hand in his. For how long had you been holding hands? Jimin hadn’t even noticed. The action came so easy to him, almost as if it were in his nature to hold her. He flexes his hand, the sudden coldness of it making his stomach drop in disappointment.

How long had it been since he held your hand? He missed it. More than he thought it was possible. Had your hand always fit so perfectly within his? It had. It was something he had noticed during the early days of your relationship. He’d always known. He’d just forgotten. The more time he spends with you on these little ‘dates’ the more he remembers the little things. Things like how you hadn’t changed your perfume in years just because he loved the scent. Or how your eyes would crinkle in the corners every time you smiled at him. Or the warmth of your hand encasing his. He was slowly but easily remembering the things he had forgotten over the course of your marriage.

He turns from his hand to look at the way you run through the field of lilies, laughing with excitement. His throat closes up. The sun is low in the sky, hidden behind some of the large greenhouses; yet sunlight still streaming through the glass. You’re highlighted by the sunshine, your silhouette encased in a halo made of sun rays. You look more vibrant than you had in months, your hair flying in the wind behind you as you raced through the flowers. Jimin loses himself in you. His heart quickens as he watches you, his hands becoming clammy. It was like he was falling in love with you all over again.

As if on auto pilot, Jimin walks over to you; almost like he was magnetised by your presence. Before he knows it, he’s right beside you. You pant heavily, somewhat out of breath, giggling from the rush of running through the field, adrenaline pumping in your veins. He takes in your flushed appearance, face crumpling at the first signs of honest happiness on your face in a while. He scrunches his nose, slightly put off by the incredibly strong musky scent of lilies surrounding you both.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” You gush, spinning around to look at the lilies. Jimin nods, agreeing with you. But it’s not the lilies he’s looking at.

“I think this is the end of the gardens. Are you ready to go back? I’m sorry this took more than an hour” You say, shifting slightly as you realised exactly why you were here. The sudden wave of sadness that courses through you is completely juxtaposed by your previous feelings of happiness and joy. Jimin notices the slight dimming of your eyes as you’re both brought back to reality. He hates himself for what he’s done to you.

In a bid to make it better and keep the sparkle in your eyes, he’s bending over. His eyes scan over the lilies in his vicinity before his eyes are caught by a bright yellow one in full bloom. The petals are completely open, the outer petals a soft yellow before darkening to an electric orange in the centre. He plucks it from the ground, making you gasp before looking around, ensuring you’re both alone.

“Jimin! You can’t do that. You could get in trouble for destruction of property” You admonish but Jimin shrugs before presenting it to you. You gasp slightly, shyly taking the flower from his hand.

“They have thousands of them. I’m sure they won’t miss one. Besides, if I want to give my wife some flowers, I will give my wife some flowers” Jimin says. You suck in a breath at his words, your heart fluttering at his use of wife. You blush prettily, ducking your head and sniffing the flower, a soft smile on your lips. Jimin is suddenly struck by the familiarity of the situation. His heart swells at the situation and he simply can’t resist pulling you closer into him. Your eyes widen as you tumble into him, your husband catching you easily.

Before you can say anything, he swoops down, his head ducking and capturing your lips within his. Your eyes shoot open slightly before you find yourself melting into you, your eyes slipping shut. Jimin’s arms tighten around you, pulling you closer into him until there’s not even a hair’s breadth between your chests. Your lips practically meld together, your hands running up his chest and wrapping around his neck. Jimin moans into the kiss, pulling you as close as possible, one of his hands entangling in your hair.

Moments pass slowly, your heart thumping in your chest cavity. Finally, when the need for oxygen burns both your chests, you both pulled away. Jimin’s lips linger next to yours, both of you panting, breath fanning each other’s faces. Your eyes slowly open, meeting Jimin’s. He bumps his forehead against yours lightly, eyes twinkling with something you hadn’t seen for a long time. He peppers kisses against the corner of your mouth, holding you close the entire time. You close your eyes against, breathing in his scent as a large, barely suppressed smile breaks out on your face.

For the first time in almost a year, you finally feel loved by Park Jimin.

It’s the last week of your third month of trying to work things out with your husband.

Jimin sits in his office, flicking through the photos of your shop’s grand opening in Lotte Department Store. He smiles sadly, feeling incredibly maudlin and remorseful that he’d missed such an event. He scrolls through the photo album on Naver, stopping at a close up of you. You look almost as beautiful as the day he married you, dressed sophisticatedly and smiling at the press as cameras blindingly flash around you. You look perfect, completely poised and as if you were in your element. Which, of course, you were. His heart aches with emotion, both pride and shame swelling in his chest. He should have been there with you. He should have celebrated with you. He should have stood beside you, like you had with him when he’d opened his company.

He continues scrolling, eyes welling up at the one thing that takes away from the joyous occasion. In every single one of the photos, you have the most melancholic, somber smile on your face, your eyes reflecting a certain hopelessness. His throat closes up. He had done that to you. Tarnished and tainted a momentous milestone in your career with his selfishness.

He closes the article, unable to take the forlornness present in your entire demeanour. He lets out a little exhale, trying to collect himself. He didn’t have the right to feel guilty. He had done this to himself. Worked harder at his job than he needed to, started staying longer because of the merger. And by doing so, he had almost ruined his marriage. He’d slowly forgotten about you and the love he had for you, pulled away from you the months before he’d started his illicit affair.

There’s a sudden knock on his door, pulling him out of his musings. Jimin turns to the door, watching as Yoojin saunters in as if she owns the place. He frowns slightly as he takes her in. Now looking at her, he realised, she was completely different to his wife. She could easily pass for one of the women who modeled for you. She was incredibly beautiful, stunning even. But he was no longer attracted to her. There was no more allure surrounding her, nothing that made him want to pursue her. All in all, she wasn’t you.

“Where have you been?” Yoojin asks, taking a seat on one of his sofas.

“Right here, working. As you should be. Why are you here?” Jimin asks, quirking an eyebrow. Why had he even begun his affair with her? Just because he’d spent some time away from you? Because he needed the company and she was easy? Because they’d spent so much time in close proximity? None of these seemed like good enough reasons anymore. God, he really was a weak, feeble man, he scoffed to himself.

“Do I need a reason to see my boyfriend?” Yoojin asks and suddenly he feels sick at her words. He thinks back to the day Yoojin had kissed him in his office. He should have pulled away. He knew he should have, but before he even knew what he was doing, he was already pulling her in for another kiss. Something that you had, apparently witnessed. Suddenly, he feels even more nauseous.

“Besides, it’s been almost three months I’ve seen you. Your soon to be ex-wife has been monopolising your time lately. Should I be feeling jealous?” Yoojin continues, tone playful and cocky. The minute ‘ex-wife’ leaves her mouth, Jimin feels despair crash through him. No. He couldn’t lose you. Wouldn’t lose you. Not when he was just finding you again. He wouldn’t allow it. He couldn’t do this anymore. He had to end it.

“I’m not your boyfriend” Jimin says, voice slightly cold. Yoojin looks at him in surprise, a perfectly threaded eyebrows arched.

“Since when?” She asks.

“Since now. I can’t be with you” Jimin says curtly and Yoojin scoffs.

“What did your wife say? You’ve been spending so much time with her lately. Has she been putting thoughts in your head?” Yoojin asks suspiciously.

“No. She just reminded me how much I love her not you. She’s my wife and I don’t want to lose her” Jimin states and Yoojin glares at him.

“If I had known that bitch’s plan for you to try and save your marriage would have worked I never would have humoured it” Yoojin scoffs as she stands up. However, before she can even blink, Jimin is right in front of her, eyes boring holes into her. Yoojin lets out a small gasp, stumbling back at the rage in his eyes.

“That’s my wife you’re speaking about and you will respect her” Jimin seethes, unhappy with the way Yoojin had so casually insulted you.

“Yes, the wife you cheated on” Yoojin spits back, not one to back down. Her eyes were cold and calculating as she stared at him and Jimin reels. It was so completely different from the warmth yours radiated.

“Yeah. A mistake if I ever made one. One that somehow she is willing to overlook so she can save our marriage. She is a far better person than you and I could ever hope to be. But I love her and I want to save my marriage. So, this is it for us Cheon Yoojin-ssi” Jimin says, retreating back, his face turning passive and tone back to being polite. Yoojin looks affronted, grabbing her bag from the seat.

“Well then. Consider this the end of the merger too” Yoojin says haughtily, before stalking out of Jimin’s office. Jimin lets out a little sigh of relief, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulder. He didn’t care too much about the merger, especially considering all the pain and suffering it had wrought on his marriage. It was more trouble than it was worth.

He quickly glances over at the clock hanging on one of his office walls. His eyes widen. It was almost six. He quickly gathered his stuff, dismissing his secretary before rushing out of the office and into the elevator. His foot tapped impatiently, waiting for the elevator to take him to the basement of the building, where his car was parked. He had to get home to you, the urgent need to save his marriage overwhelming him. For the first time in months, his head was clear. He loved you and he couldn’t lose you.

Practically running through parking lot, he quickly located his car. Checking his watch, he let out a breath of relief. Six on the dot. Which means, he had more than enough time to get to you. Jimin drives through the busy roads of Seoul, humming to the radio and drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he navigates towards your shared home. He smiles softly, remembering the more frequent and prolonged visits with you. Passing by one familiar street, he finds himself double taking before slowing down as he drives past a familiar flower shop.

Before he can help himself, he finds himself turning down a road and parking the car in the spot he usually would. He swiftly gets out, briskly walking towards the familiar flower shop. He glances at his watch, almost running when he realises it’s almost closing time. He pushes the glass door with more force than he intended to, almost slamming it open. He’s suddenly hit with an onslaught of sweet, earth scents, the bell jingling violently to signal his arrival. The old lady that runs the shop, turns around in surprise, ready to send him away.

“We’re closing- oh! It’s you Park-ssi” The woman says with pleasant recognition.

“Hello halmeoni. Are you done for the day?” Jimin asks and the lady quickly shakes her head, walking up to him as quick as her old feet can take her before dragging him inside.

“For you? Never! It’s been so long since you’ve been here, I was starting to get worried” The old florist says and Jimin shifts on his feet, unable to look her in the eyes. It finally dawns on him why he stopped buying his wife flowers. He had stopped taking his usual route home.

Before, he used to drive the same way every day, passing by this flower shop only to be reminded of his wife. However, when he started meeting with Yoojin, he started taking a different route home. Guilt floods through him as he realises that he was, without a shadow of a doubt, completely responsible for your relationship falling apart.

“Is everything alright at home?” The woman asks kindly and Jimin is unsure how to respond. Was everything okay? Sure, things were definitely better, both you and him in a much better place in your relationship. But had you forgiven him for his affair? Would you be able to get over it? The three month period of you trying to save your relationship was slowly coming to an end. But Jimin didn’t want it to end.

Throughout the three months, you had somehow succeeded in saving your marriage. He had never wanted to be with you more than he did right now. He couldn’t believe he had almost lost you. But he now knew, that without a single doubt, he was completely in love with you. You were his entire world and he definitely wasn’t ready to throw away a ten year relationship.

“Everything… is fine. Sorry, I was just busy” Jimin finally replies lamely, not wanting to admit to the woman that he had almost destroyed his marriage with an affair. The lady smiles before slowly walking to a tub of flowers.

“That’s a shame. It was really sweet how you would drop by every Friday to buy flowers for your wife. Ah, such a sweet young love. It makes me miss my husband. Do you want the usual?” She asks, already assembling a large bouquet of roses and lilies. Jimin nods, feeling even more remorse at her words. It had been a sweet love. But he had almost lost it with his foolish decisions. He stands patiently, albeit slightly nervously as the woman puts the flowers together. Was this the right thing to do? It had been so long since he’d bought flowers home for you. Would you still be as reciprocating of them now, after everything he had done?

“There we go! Beautiful aren’t they? But I assume the woman receiving them is even more beautiful” The lady teases and Jimin blushes, nodding with a smile.

“The most beautiful of them all” Jimin says quietly and the lady grins at him, pushing the bouquet towards him.

“Well then, don’t let go of her! It’s so hard to find love these days. Couples are always breaking up and changing partners. And they’ve even stopped buying flowers” The lady tuts, Jimin feeling even guiltier. He had almost been one of those people.

“I will. I don’t think I ever want to let her go” Jimin says, determination lacing his voice. He grabs the bouquet, paying for the flowers and tipping handsomely before leaving the flower shop.

He rushes towards his car, not wanting to make you wait any longer. He glanced at his clock, grinning to himself as he realised he’d be home in time for seven o’clock. Starting the engine, he practically speeds home, his thoughts preoccupied with you. Pulling into the parking garage of your apartment complex, Jimin grabs the bouquet, antsy to get up towards you.

Long moments later, he’s finally at your door. Nerves build up in his stomach and he has to wipe his hands on the trousers or his suit from how clammy they were. Were you waiting for him? Or had you already had dinner? He wouldn’t blame you if you’d stopped waiting for him. It had been a long while since he’d made it back home at this time. He pulls his keys out of his pocket, hesitating for a short while, too tense to open the door. Was this okay? Was it okay for him to come home like this as if he hadn’t tried walking out three months ago?

Jimin takes in a deep breath before exhaling, trying to rid all his nerves. He had to do this. He couldn’t let himself walk away from you. Pushing the keys into the keyhole, Jimin enters the house. You walk through, surprise written on your face.

"What are you doing here?" You ask, heart quickening. Your eyes scan over his figure; he's still dressed in the suit from work, hair pushed back and exposing his forehead. Your eyes are immediately drawn to the hand behind his back. You suck in a breath, not wanting to get your hopes up. Was he doing what you think he was doing? Jimin shuffles from one foot to the other before slowly walking up to you, brandishing a beautiful bouquet of roses and lilies.

"Oh" You gasp out, swallowing thickly. You reach out with shaky hands, incredibly slowly, as if any sudden movements would spook him and cause him to disappear from your life again. You take them from him, bringing the bouquet up to your nose and inhaling deeply. The sweet, subtle scent of roses is almost drowned out by the strong, musky scent of lilies. You bite your lip before turning your gaze to him.

"You hate lilies" You say and Jimin's face crumples at the awful familiarity of everything. It had been so long since the two of you had done this.

"But I love you" Jimin croaks out, voice hoarse and heavy with emotion. You hiccup slightly, tears welling in your eyes. Jimin quickly walks up to you, taking you in his arms, one hand cupping your cheek. You sob, melting into his hand. Jimin traced his thumb along your cheek, wiping away the lone tear that managed to escape from your eye before brushing his thumb along your lips.

He leans down and captures your lips in his. You lean up, pressing harder into him. Jimin pulls away and you chase after his lips, not wanting to break away from him. He presses a short, tender kiss to your lip before completely pulling away, holding you at arm's length. He takes your hand in his and draws you to the dining table. You take a seat. The sight is all too familiar to you. It was awfully similar to the day he asked you for a divorce.

"Jimin?" You ask, unable to mask the worry in your voice. He shakes his head, taking your hand in his.

"Before we continue, I think we need to talk" Jimin says, despite the catch in his throat. This was going to be a hard conversation, but he knew he had to do it, so that you could both get passed this.

"Okay..." You say before quietening down. Jimin gathers every ounce of courage he can muster; taking in a deep breath he looks you straight in the eyes. You're almost floored by the amount of emotions in them. The long years of being with him had made you an expert in reading him. You could almost feel every single emotion that danced along his deep coffee eyes as if it were your own.

"I made a mistake. I shouldn't... I shouldn't have cheated on you. It was wrong of me. I started staying at the office later and later and slowly I forgot you and how much I loved you. That was wrong. It was even more wrong for me to look for those feelings in Yoojin" Jimin begins and you listen carefully, keeping your expression guarded despite the dread that sears through your veins.

"Jimin-" You begin, trying to cut him off but he shakes his head, gripping your hand tighter.

"Please. I know. I know you want to forget and you want to move on. But I can't move on without saying this, without apologising for how awful I've been to you these past months. You didn't deserve that" Jimin says, his words sincere. You nod and gripped his hand tighter, knowing that you'd both need the comfort each other offered. Jimin's face falls, wondering how you could offer him such comfort after all the hurt he caused you. He really didn't deserve you. Which only made this harder.

“I’m sorry for cheating on you. I’m sorry for hurting you like that when I promised that I would never hurt you like that. I broke our wedding vows and you should have left me the minute I asked you for a divorce. But you’re a far better person than I could ever be. I never imagined that you would ask me to stay and work things out. But I’m so glad you did” Jimin says, voice shuddering with emotion. Tears well up in both your eyes and you squeeze his hand, letting him know it was okay to keep going.

“These three months, despite how bad I was at the start, showed me how much I love you and how much it was my fault that we drifted. I can’t thank you enough for not giving up on me and for bringing me back. I love you. I love you so much. I’m sorry for hurting you and I know my words may mean next to nothing to you now, but just know that I will use the rest of our lives together to show you just how much you mean to me and how much I love you. Can… can you forgive me? Can you take me back? I want to come home to you” Jimin finally croaks out, tears falling down his cheeks.

“Can I ask for one thing?” You ask and Jimin is immediately nodding.

“Anything”

“Can we continue therapy? I think we need more sessions to work this out” You say and Jimin quickly nods, assenting instantaneously.

“If that’s what you want then yes. Just… please don’t leave me” Jimin begs. The shift of your roles are almost jarring.

You can’t deny how much he had hurt you in the past but if there was one thing you feared, it was losing your husband. You knew it would take much longer to get through this whole ordeal, but for now, you were just far too happy to have your husband back. You nod, instantly getting up from your seat and hugging him. Jimin’s shoulders slump as he feels your embrace around him. He pulls you into his lap, holding you close to his body.

Leaning down, you pull his lips into yours, pouring all the love you have for each other into the kiss. Jimin stands up, keeping your lips locked and guiding you towards your bedroom. He lays you down gently, taking in the way the moonlight floods through the window and illuminates your body, your hair fanned out on the pillow. He face softens as he once again leans down kissing along your jaw as he unbuttons your shirt-dress, before slipping it off your shoulder. His breath hitches, eyes trailing over your body, committing each nook and every contour of your body to memory.

“Fuck… I’d forgotten how beautiful you were” Jimin says, almost reverently as he continues taking in your body. You flush underneath him, almost wanting to hide. Jimin catches your hand, shaking his head.

“Don’t hide from me” Jimin says, crawling over you. He braces his arms on either side of you, muscles bulging in his shirt as he dips his head to pull you in for another kiss. Your hands roam over his chest, gripping his shirt and pulling him closer to you.

“I want to see you” You whisper against his lips, breaking the kiss. Jimin lets out a little smile before kneeling. You watch, unable to take your eyes off of him as his small fingers work the buttons of his shirt. Your breathing deepens as smooth, tan chest is slowly revealed to you, inch by inch.

“Strip for me Angel” Jimin orders as he begins unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his trousers. You break out of your trance, suddenly in a rush to undress. It had been so agonisingly long since you felt your husband that you couldn’t wait to have him inside of you once again.

When you’re both fully undressed, you both kneel on your bed, taking in each other. Your eyes trail over his body, longing to reach out and touch him. His cock twitches slightly, standing erect and hard, almost pulsing.. Jimin slowly shuffles towards you, laying you down once again. His hands move to your thighs, running along the skin, simply feeling you under him. You moan at his light touch, spreading your legs to accommodate him between your thighs. He peppers light, butterfly kisses along the column of your neck before brushing them against your collarbones. You arch at the touch, hands wrapping around his shoulder and nails pressing into his shoulders.

“Lemme make you feel good” Jimin says as he kisses down your chest. On his way, he lightly kisses each of your nipples before pressing a kiss to your sternum, between your breasts. Continuing his descent, he kisses and licks his way down your stomach. His tongue swirled into your belly button, making you gasp as his lips ghost over your skin.

He slowly spreads your legs, situating himself comfortably between them. His eyes trail over every inch of your nether lips, eyes automatically drawn to the slightly wet lips. He lips his lips before closing his eyes and pressing a soft kiss against your clit. You instantly gasp out, hands lacing into his locks. He peels your lips open before licking a swipe all the way from your dripping core to your clit. You shudder above him, letting him slowly, almost reverently eat you out. He pulled your thigh over his shoulder, giving himself better access. He pulled your clit between his plush lips, suckling on the bud. You moan throatily, rolling your hips into his mouth as your juices started coating his face.

“You’re so sweet. Fuck, I have missed you” Jimin moans against your pussy causing your eyes to roll back from the vibrations.

“Please! Jimin, I need-” You begin to beg, but Jimin knows your body better than anyone else. He moves one of his hands, slowly pressing a finger into you. You groan as you’re filled up, grinding into his ministrations. It had been so long since you’d had someone else giving you an orgam that you could feel your end already nearing, far too sensitive at everything.

Jimin feels the way your pussy pulsates around his finger, adding in a second one and stretching you out. You’d only had your own fingers to keep you company and even then you were usually too heartbroken and distraught to even think about sex or pleasure. That was until now. Jimin’s fingers were thicker than yours and you groan at the feeling, loving the slight twinge of pain from the stretch. Jimin laps at your clit, trying to push you closer to the edge, loving the way you taste on his lips.

His eyes are trained on your face, captivated by your beauty, heart twinging at how he almost lost you. He slowly thrusts his finger in and out, scissoring your weeping pussy as he tries to stretch you out. He almost groans by how tight you’ve become, knowing he’d need to take it slow. He feels your end approaching from the way your cunt gushes and the way your breath quickens. He speeds his fingers up ever so slightly, angling them to brush against the soft spot inside you. You almost scream at the sensation, fingers digging into his head.

You’re panting now, mewling out his name over and over as you roll your hips on top of his. He slowly nibbles your clit between his teeth, forcing you over the edge. Your orgasm ricochets through your, legs convulsing on either side of his head. Jimin takes in the way you bite your lip, your eyes half lidded, pupils rolled back into your skull and the way you flush. He doesn’t think he’s seen anything more beautiful. Your back arches off of the bed as you gush around him, releasing your cum all over his face while you moan his name.

Waves of pleasure continue rippling through you, Jimin’s lips and fingers guiding you through your orgasm. The smell of your orgasm permeates the air, driving Jimin wild. He has to be in you and he has to be in you now. His pupils dilated, darkening with lust and want as he watched you come down from your high. He pulls away from you but not before pressing a kiss against your clit. You whine slightly at the oversensitivity, watching through hazy eyes as he crawls back over you.

“I love you” Jimin mumbles as he kisses you, letting you taste yourself. You practically licked his mouth clean of your cum before he pulls away, pressing his nose into your head, pressing a tender kiss against the temple as he breathes in the scent of your shampoo.

“I love you too” You whisper back, heart soaring at his affirmation of your love. Jimin slowly rubs the head of his cock against your lips, coating it in a mixture of your cum and his precum. You whine, thighs quivering at the sensation. Your arms lazily wrap around his neck as he lines up with your centre.

He pulls you in for a kiss, slowly guiding his cock into you. You break the kiss, back arching of the bed as you gasp against his lips as he slowly stretches you open. Jimin moves incredibly slowly, filling you inch by inch and allowing you to get used to him. Once he’s buried as deep into you as he could go, he stills. Pressing a kiss onto your lips, he takes in a deep breath, focusing on not cumming from how hot and tight you are around him.

“Move” You mewl, rolling your hips against his. Jimin slowly pulls out before pushing back in, in one single stroke. You gasp, throwing your head back, arms automatically moving to his shoulders, pressing your fingertips into the flesh and leaving little crescent shaped marks.

“I love you” Jimin whispers again, punctuating his words with another thrust. You want to say it back, but you’re too lost in the haze of pleasure. Jimin continues slowly grinding and thrusting into you, One of his hands removes the hand from his shoulder, entwining your hands, fingers locked with each other.

“Open your eyes. I want to see you. All of you” Jimin mumbles and your eyes slowly slip open. You briefly wonder when they even shut. Jimin looks down at you from above, eyes focused on you, love and adoration emblazoned in his dark eyes. You gasp out, feeling closer to him than you ever had. He squeezes your hand, pushing into you once again. He keeps the pace slow, drawing soft moans from you with every thrust. His agonising ministrations causes the coil in your belly to tighten once again.

“Are you going to cum again Angel?” Jimin asks and you nod under him.

“Just hold on a little longer sweet, I’m almost there. Fuck… you’re so tight” Jimin groans out, breathing laboured. His chest leans down, your soft breasts pressed against his taught chest. His head moves to the crook of your neck, burying his face as he suckles light hickeys into your neck.

“I’m so close” You groan out, moving your hips against his faster, more urgently.

“Fuck. Okay. Cum for me baby” Jimin says, one hand moving between your legs to rub your clit, the other squeezing your hand in his. The fingers on your clit send you overboard, stomach clenching and unclenching as your orgasm washes over you. You groan against him, squeezing his hand as tight as you could.

“Fuck. I’m cumming. You’re so tight. That’s it my love. I love you. My angel. My wife” Jimin mutters, pressing kisses onto your lips between each of his words. You whimper, velvet walls rippling around him. Jimin buries himself to the hilt, cock pulsing before he groans, releasing his cum deep into you. You mewl as his heat fills you up, coating your walls with his thick cum. Jimin lightly thrusts into you, you walls milking him for all he was worth.

He almost collapses on top of you, just barely catching himself by bracing himself on his elbows. You slowly come down from the euphoria of your orgasm, eyes slowly focusing once again. Jimin’s face slowly comes into view and you smile, biting your lip. You let out a little giggle at his flushed face, swollen lips and panting figure. You lift one of your hands despite the exertion, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face. You lean up and kiss his nose, Jimin lazily smiling down at you.

“I love you” You whisper and Jimin nods. He slowly rolls off of you before pulling you towards his body, unbothered by your sweaty, hot figure against his. He kisses your temple, placing his chin above your head and tucking you into his chest.

“I love you too Angel” Jimin mumbles. You snuggle into his chest, letting his breathing and the rhythmic thumping of his heart slowly lull you to sleep.

The next morning, you’re awoken by your husband lightly pressing kisses into the back of your shoulder, his arm tightening around your waist. You lowly whine, still exhausted from the previous night. He giggles against your shoulder, softly pecking it again. You turn in his arms, facing him before sluggishly opening your eyes. The first thing you see is Jimin’s deep brown eyes, sparkling with nothing but love and affection, Your heart speeds up, eyes searching his face intently.

"Is this a dream?" You croakily whisper, almost afraid. Jimin’s heart grips at the fear lacing your voice. He shakes his head, pulling your hand up and kissing the pads of your fingertips before pulling you close.

"No. I'm yours. Now and forever"

a/n: high key this almost ended with reader and jimin getting that divorce but i grew TOO ATTACHED and could not end it like that, rip me... anyway!!!!! hope you enjoyed!!!!!!!

Mixtape Series | Masterlist

#btssmutclub #kpopwonderlandtag #kwritersworldnet #bangtanarmynet #btsguild #btsprotectnet #jimin x reader #park jimin x reader #bts jimin x reader #jimin smut #jimin angst #jimin fluff #park jimin angst #jimin au #bts jimin au #park jimin fluff #park jimin smut

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logical-little-lies · 4 years

Text

The Secret Surprise Playdate- Little Vlogs (Chapter Seven)

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated this in almost a month! The chapters in this fic are longer compared to the ones in my agere au, and even my oneshots are usually shorter! I love this series and I like surprising you guys with 3000+ word chapters! Hope you enjoy it, please leave comments (wattpad)/send asks w/reactions to my inbox (tumblr)!!

Chapter Summary: The four go on another "date", this time it's a picnic at the park. It's quickly revealed that its a surprise playdate, set up by Logan. Let's see how this turns out.

Okay, Logan was willing to admit that he may have specifically picked this spot for their "date" so that the littles could regress if they wanted to. And maybe, just maybe, he packed a bag of new little stuff in the car just in case that did happen. Maybe he planned to softly push them into littlespace with said items.

And he may have possibly chosen a nice, but tucked away playground so that they all felt comfortable being vulnerable if they did just so happen to regress. . But of course, none of the others knew of this plan.

Roman and Virgil stayed at Patton's house the night prior, just like every other weekend.

"Where are you taking us? Like, why can't you tell us?" Roman complained, brushing his teeth in the hallway bathroom. Logan came by the bathroom, pausing in front of the door.

"It's a surprise, princey. I suggest you don't dress up a ton, though. Just wear something cute." Logan spoke from the doorway.

"Trick question, I'm cute in everything." Roman set his toothbrush in a cup with the rest of theirs, kissing Logan quickly.

"That wasn't a question, but yes, that statement is true." Logan chuckled.

"I'm gonna go pick something out though. Do you mind if I steal your clothes?" Roman didn't actually let Logan reply before he spoke again. "No? Thank you, you're the best." he kissed Logan's cheek and ran off before the freckle-faced man could get a word in.

Roman laughed as he shut Logan's bedroom door behind him. Logan rolled his eyes, leaving him to it and going into Patton's little room, checking if Patton was in there. He found Virgil and Patton, sitting on the bed and talking.

"Hi Lo! I was letting Virgil borrow some of my jewelry, and I keep most of it in here." he explained. Virgil was dressed in a loose black tank top, and some grayish high-waisted shorts. He also wore a black belt, accessorizing it with his own chains, and some of Patton's bracelets.

"How do you manage to stay emo, even in the heat?" Logan teased the boy, who blushed a bit. Virgil glanced down, smiling shyly. Virgil wasn't soft, ever. But when one of the other three in his house teased him, or was flirty in any way, suddenly there were a few exceptions to that rule.

Logan came over to him, lifting his face by his chin before kissing him. "You look cute, don't worry."

Virgil smiled wider. "Thank you,Mr. Freckles. Can we know where you're taking us now?" he asked, shifting the subject.

"Nope, you simply can't." Logan gave a shrug, leaving Virgil to give a playful glare. He looked at Patton, who wore a pastel blue t-shirt, paired with black shorts similar to Virgil's. He had a colorful belt, and he wore some kandi bracelets. He also wore his round glasses instead of his usual ones.

"You look adorable too. The pastel shirt goes well with your hair," Logan complimented. Patton smiled immediately.

"Thank you!" Patton thanked him as he walked out of the room.

It was a little while after that that the four headed out in the car. "Okay so we are going on some sort of picnic, we know that much. But where?" Roman asked. It was Roman's turn to sit next to Logan in the passenger seat. He had spotted Logan putting food into a picnic basket in the kitchen as they were getting ready to leave.

"You'll see where, darling. Just be patient," Logan instructed, making sure to focus on the road.

"But I wanna know nowww," Roman whined, crossing his arms.

"You sound suspiciously like a child right now. Do you want me to put you in timeout when we get there, Roman?" Logan came to a stop at a stop sign on a corner of a street. Logan looked at him, raising his eyebrow. Logan was mostly teasing, but he really had picked up on the childish undertone in Roman's voice. Patton and Virgil watched from the backseat as if this was a teen drama show, Roman giving a slight pout.

"Um,no timeout please. Sorry," he went quiet, uncrossing his arms. Virgil was the only person to see Roman regress and he knew that's what was happening. He was a mixture of excited for what was planned, and also upset that Logan wouldn't tell him. It was two conflicting emotions, and mostly excitement was taking over. It was a positive trigger for his headspace and Logan had obviously been prepared for it.

"It's alright, Ro. You're aloud to be excited, but you don't need to whine when I don't ruin the surprise just because you want me too." Logan turned onto another street. Roman nodded a bit, looking out the window.

"I've never seen Roman little," Patton whispered to Virgil in the backseat.

"He doesn't regress a ton. He's almost completely involuntary when it comes to his headspace, he had negative and positive triggers. Being excited is a positive one," Virgil explained. Patton nodded.

"Logan is good at caring for me if I regress while we are out and about. If he know's it's a bad situation, or not the right place, he will guide me out of my headspace for the time being. It we are on a walk, or somewhere where I don't need to interact with other people, he might baby me a bit and let me act discreetly little. I'm sure he can do the same for Roman," Patton assured. Virgil agreed, and they continued talking for a bit.

Eventually, Logan turned onto a car path that led into a forest. It was a community park, with lakes, different playgrounds, and even running paths.

"You've taken me here before!" Patton looked out the window, glancing around. "We go on runs together sometimes, you can see some really pretty plants on the paths here." he told Virgil.

Logan used signs to navigate, confusing everyone when he drove away from where everyone else was. "I'm going to an area farther out, no one really goes there but it's nice, I promise."

Patton's eyes widened when they finally parked, looking at the playground. It was completely empty, and there were some lunch-table benches scattered about. It was sunny, and there were some flowers in the grass. "This is the playground we found when we were looking for a quiet spot to eat! I completely forgot about it," Patton seemed shocked with himself, but also happy he recalled it in the first place.

"I've been planning to bring you back here at some point, but it's a little farther out and there's been a lot going on. Then we met Roman and Virgil and I thought it'd be the perfect place to spend the day." Logan unbuckled himself, smiling at the boy in the back seat.

"It is kinda cute..." Virgil seemed to be eyeing the swingset, shrugging before unbuckling himself and climbing out of the car. Logan opened Patton's door, moving to help him unbuckle.

"I can do that myself! I was just distracted!" Patton whined, trying to push his hands away.

"Oh shush, let me help you." Logan instructed, finishing the job before Patton could say no. Roman was out of the car by the time Patton shut the door behind him.

"You two go pick out a table for us to eat at," Logan instructed to Virgil and Patton, looking to Roman, "You help me get the stuff out of the car."

They did as they were told, splitting up. "Why are you being so quiet, Roman?" Logan questioned as he opened the trunk of the car. Logan felt a little bad for immediately threatening timeout the moment Roman started whining about something in the car, but he knew he probably wasn't actually gonna punish the boy no matter what.

"I feel like a kid and I don't wanna embarrass myself," he admitted, biting at his lip.

"You shouldn't repress your headspace if it's avoidable. I don't see anyone here, do you?" Logan asked,pulling the picnic basket out of the car and handing it to him. Roman shook his head.

"Just us."

"Which means..." Logan trailed off, looking at him. Roman tilted his head.

"You can regress if you want. There just so happens to be a playground right here for you to play in...." Logan gave him a look, and Roman smiled. "I'll even push you on the swings, if you'd like. And if you don't feel comfortable regressing in public, even when no one is around, I respect and understand that. We can always eat and play some question games if you'd rather do that."

"If it's okay, playing on the playground sounds kinda fun." Roman looked at Logan hopefully as he pulled a small cooler from the car.

"Of course it's okay, darling. Now, let's go take these to the picnic table, hmm?"

Logan had gone back to grab the super-secret bag on little gear, closing the trunk of the car after he was done. While we was doing that, the others dug into the food.

"So, I have a second surprise for all of you." Logan announced as he sat back down.

"You're just spoiling us today, aren't you?"Virgil chuckled, popping a blueberry in his mouth.

"You guys deserve it. You two work shifts at the mall on weekdays, and Patton is constantly filming and working to improve his channel. You guys work a lot, and I decided to give you guys some rewards for working so hard, that's all."

The three of them waited for him to begin. "Now,before I start, I wanna say that basically all this stuff is meant for when you're little."

Roman seemed even more excited to see said items now, taking a bite from a strawberry as he waited for Logan to keep going. "Roman, we will start with you, buddy. Okay?" He started pulling things out of the bag, and Roman nodded.

"Here's a few sticker sheets. Some of them are disney princesses, and just disney-themed in general. Others are hearts, and cute stuff like that." Roman seemed content, going through the different sheets.

"Virgil, you got mostly Halloween themed stickers. Bats, pumpkins, stuff like that." He hand ed Virgil the stack of sticker sheets.

"Thank you. You didn't have to get me anything, though." He commented.

"It'd be a bit unfair if I only got Roman and Patton stuff, though. Wouldn't it?" he raised his eyebrow, and Virgil shrugged.

"Yo! You got me a Nightmare Before Christmas pack!" He was immediately distracted and occupied while Logan got Patton's stickers out.

"Yours is mostly pastel-colors. Hearts, and other cutesy things you like," Logan knew for a fact that pushing Patton into little space was one of the easiest things ever. He was pretty sure that by the time he got through the gifts, Patton would surely be referring to him as "Daddy" and asking him to play on the playground with him.

"Roman and Patton, you two got these." He gave them each those kiddy lipglosses, the ones that didn't do much but the containers were cute and kidish so littles tend to love them anyways. Virgil pouted a bit.

"Don't worry, baby. I got you something else I thought you'd like," Logan dug through the bag, pulling out some nail polishes. They were only a few, in shades of purple mostly. "We can combine those with the stuff we have at home, I figured we could have a nail-painting day. Doesn't that sound fun?"

Virgil nodded, setting them carefully back on the table. Logan continued to go through the bag,gifting them things. The stuff was small items that you could find easily in the toy section of any store, cheap items that he knew would appeal to each boy. He gave each of them bubbles, and boxes of crayons too.

"I didn't know how old you regressed to, so I got you a kid's water bottle and a sippy cup," He gave Roman two cups. Both of them were disney princess themed, and Roman immediately loved them.

"They're pink! Thank you Lo!" he cheered. He didn't quite know much about his regression yet either, so chances were,he'd try both and decide what he liked.

Logan gave Virgil a sippy cup with a skull on it, and Patton a carebears themed one. "One last thing for each of you, and then we are done with the gifts." All three of them waited in anticipation, already happy with what they got.

"Close your eyes and clear off a spot in front of you," he instructed. They did so, closing their eyes. A few seconds later, Logan spoke again. "Open!"

Patton immediately hugged the stuffed kitten in front of him. Roman looked at the little stuffed puppy in front of him, hugging it after a few seconds. It had dark brown fur, and it was the same size as Patton's black kitten. Virgil got a gray elephant stuffie, with really soft fur.

They all said their thank you's, hugging the stuffed animals. "None of them have names yet, we can come up with those later. Now, let's eat some food, and then we can go play."

At this point, they were all at least somewhat regressed, just on different levels. Logan put the majority of the stuff back in the bag, including the stuffed animals so that that didn't get dirty. The only thing he left out was the sippy cups.

He opened the cooler, taking Patton's cup and pouring apple juice into it. "Thank you, Daddy." he replied, swinging his legs under the table.

"Would you like me to put this in the sippy cup for you?" he spoke to Virgil softly, holding up a bottle of grape juice. "If you don't want to go into littlespace here, I understand that Vee."

"Wanna but m' scared," he mumbled, hugging himself because he didn't have the stuffed animal anymore.

"No one is here, it's just us. I won't force you, but if you're okay with it, I can take care of you?" he offered. Virgil sighed, biting his lip. He nodded, pushing the sippy cup across the table. Logan filled it up quickly, giving it back to him and looking to Roman.

Roman handed him the children's water bottle without another word, and Logan put orange juice in it. He knew Roman liked orange juice, he drank a glass almost every morning when he woke up at their house. He took the sippy cup and put it back in the back. All three of the boys were little, and they had a whole park to play on.

The rest of this day was gonna be really fun.

After the boys ate, the immediately wanted to go play on the playground. Logan had made them sandwiches, and let them each more of the fruit as they pleased. Once they all ate, he sent them to play while he packed up the food. They all drank up their sippy cups, so he threw them back in the bag, leaving the stuff neatly on the table.

Roman climbed every climbable contraption on the playground. The little rock wall, the metal dome, the rope webbed-bridge. He also liked the monkey bars. Patton went down the slides, and also talked to Virgil through the "telephones", giggling every two seconds.

Virgil stayed on the swings at first. "Baby boy, do you wanna go on the roundabout?" Logan asked as his swing slowed down. He pointed to the playground's simplified carousal, and Virgil hummed.

"Will you spin me on it?" he asked. Logan nodded. Virgil got off the swing, hesitantly moving offer to the spinny contraption. He climbed onto it.

"I'll spin you slow at first, okay?" Virgil nodded. Virgil was scared at first, but he realized that it was fun quickly. He didn't like being dizzy when he got off though.

"Daddy? Can I do the monkey bars?" Patton called out after going down a slide.

"Sure thing, go ahead." Logan nodded, helping Virgil off the roundabout. Patton went on the monkey bars, no problem. One thing about them not acutally being kids, is that there was no issue with them being to small physically to do things. They did look a bit big on the playground though.

They continued their games and shenanigans for a while before they got tired. They played hide and seek, tag, and they also went to the highest spot of the playground (that you could get to without climbing something that wasn't meant to be climbed.) It was the little tower that stood above everything else, with a yellow slide coming off of it.

Logan learned that Virgil gets nervous to do things a lot when little. He needs pushed to go down a slide, or even ask for help.

Roman likes to talk a lot, all about everything. He likes doing the "adventurous" things, while still finding a way to keep it kidish. Logan knew they weren't completely regressed because they were in a public space, but he did get to learn a bit about two littles he hoped he'd be allowed to call his own soon.

"You can go down the slides a few more times while I put the stuff in the car, okay babies?" he asked. Roman pouted a bit about leaving, but they all agreed. Logan smiled to himself a bit as he closed the trunk, happy with the outcome of today. They all had tons of fun.

He helped all three of them get buckled into the car. Virgil sat in the front seat this time.

They all seemed to slowly come out of their headspace as they drove home. "You evil genius, you planned a secret playdate, basically!" Roman huffed, figuring it out within a few moments of managing to pull himself out of his headspace.

"I wanted to give you guys the chance to regress around me for the first time in a fun, childish setting. I gave you all the option of not regressing if you didn't feel comfortable, but I'm glad you guys did, it was fun." Logan smiled.

"I've regressed around you before though," Virgil said.

"But that was when Patton was big, and he kinda took over. Today was the chance for me to learn more about Little Virgil, and Little Roman. And how you guys do when it comes to interacting with Little Patton." Logan explained.

"Today was fun, Logan. Thank you," Roman spoke from his place behind Virgil.

The other two thanked him as well, "You're welcome. We can go back to that park soon, okay?"

"yay! I can climb the metal dome again!" Roman cheered. Virgil rubbed at his eyes, yawning.

"Are you sleepy? You guys did play a lot." Virgil nodded a bit to Logan's statement.

"How does a movie night sound? You can take a nap, and do whatever you'd like while I make dinner, and then we can watch movies until we get tired again." Patton offered.

Once agreeing to this plan, their plan for the night was set. That day was an amazing one they'd all remember. The time Logan tricked them into turning what they thought was a date, into a littlespace playdate.

Logan did all that just to learn more about Roman and Virgil, and they appreciated it so much.

They could almost say they loved him for it.

Taglist: @stimmingsides @smollilsanderssides @novacloudcat @analogical-agere @fairyhuman2000 @aphandgflover@softastarlight @littlesapphygem @softflowerinmyheart @virgietheprincess @babeyalstar @b3an-spr0ut @babeyvoid @because-were-fam-ily @lonelysoul43-0 @lgbtqiaemo

please let me know if you’d like to be added/I forgot to add you!

#The Agere Channel Lamp AU #The Agere Channel AU #LAMP/CALM #ts agere #sanderssidesagere #sanders sides agere #little patton #little virgil #little roman #roman agere #virgil agere #patton agere #cglogan #cg logan #littlevirgil #littleroman #littlepatton

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adcres · 4 years

Text

howdy hey , pardnerrrs :> i’m rox ( she / her ) ‘n i’ll be playing yr residential sullen broodin’ boy , nico . i didn’t have the time to write out a whole new intro , given that i have back to back classes again today :-’( , so please forgive me for recycling his old intro akawodkgrsd ; . that being said , i did tweak around some tingz and i updated his wcs for him , so if yr down to clown around just hmu on my discord : 𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱 𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔫𝔦𝔞#2854 ! okie okie , i’ll shut da eff up now ♡

BASICS.

༉‧₊˚✧ kim taehyung , cis man , he / him / his — did you see that nicholas “nico” yoon was trending last night ? the twenty three year old street artist has been getting a lot of press lately . i think it’s due to them being so + quixotic & + free-spirited , but i always thought they seemed - withdrawn & - sybaritic . their fans always say they remind them of soft smoke rings spun in a dreamy haze , silver-ringed fingers rapping against polished oak , and waning light refracting against broken glass though . i wonder if they’ve found out about REDACTED yet … i guess we’ll have to wait and see . [ rox , 22 , pst , she / her , none ]

PINTEREST & PLAYLIST .

01 and 02 .

PERSONALITY .

at first glance , nico reads as this aloof , arrogant type that doesn’t like to associate w the common public . always keeping the majority of people at a comfortable distance , nico moves almost exclusively within his own social network , and doesn’t like to deviate from what he knows best .

not so much pretentious as he is lazy , making an effort to socialize with complete strangers is simply something that nico would never do . hehe ... he’s kind of shy like that .... ♡ though he’d literally never admit it ♡

despite giving the impression that he’s some intimidating and chronically indifferent kind of guy , nico is genuinely a sweet boy — ‏‏‎ one who’s in a constant state of confusion as to why people seem to be so scared of him . it always comes as a shock when close friends of his admit that they thought he absolutely hated their guts when they first met him .

b/c tho he’s p smart , nico is very oblivious at times , and he’s 100% the kind of guy who’ll walk away from a conversation thinking he did a rly rly good job trying to make a friend ... when in reality he prob said four words in the span of thirty minutes smh .

overall , nico’s a private person , especially with what he’s thinking ... and it’s really hard to get a clear read on what’s on his mind . sharing his feelings has never been one of nico’s interests b/c he just genuinely doesn’t think whatever he has to say is rly worth mentioning . so he usually just shuts da fuck up n lets other ppl talk so he can mentally gain the strength to continue socializing .

push nico’s buttons enough tho ‘n you’ll catch this mf speaking in full sentences .

lastly , it should b noted that nico is a romantic through n through ... this mf probably d*ed in the victorian era ‘n got reincarnated b/c he’s got that ‘ lets share furtive glances across the room but never say a thing to each other ‘ thing on lock . mr. darcy headass

and while nico might play the role of long-suffering , ever pining lover to a T , he’s more in love w / the idea of love than he is w / any single person . and he literally cannot hold down a relationship w/o fucking it up for himself in some shape or form .

kind of sarcastic ... v much the teasing type ....

can b very impulsive at times , loves to go on solo adventures at night , prefers his own company tbh ...

overview : melancholic , reticent , noncommittal , humble , mild-mannered , romantic .

a mix of : josh from clueless and j.d. from heathers

more here .

MORE AESTHETICS.

the chill of silver jewelry against flushed skin , forgotten graffiti on porcelain sinks , flickering motel lights , kisses sticky with vodka , eyes ringed with lavender , sleepless nights surrendered to the dull buzz of television , obscure art house films , sun-kissed cheeks , the surprise of summer rain , chest aching with lost loves , scattered baby’s breath and rosemary , and a shared smile between perfect strangers .

CHARACTER DISSERTATION.

nico was born on a brisk wintry morning in the fashion district of los angeles ( january 21st , 1997 ) to a family of six .

as the second youngest child , and the only male son to boot , nico grew up with his only inheritance being a generational kind of hunger , one that demanded for more than what his struggling parents could offer

the arts stole nico at an early age ... ushering him into a world of creation and freedom beyond the four bleak walls he daily occupied . from spending lonely summers tucked away in some forgotten corner in the library to practicing on a borrowed violin from dawn to dusk , nico knew that even with nothing at his disposal , there was always something to be made w/ the tools he’d been given

despite not having the money for private tutors to hone their son’s growing artistic talents , his parents did whatever they could to support his dreams , whether that meant working double shifts back to back or scrounging for loose change underneath the sofa cushions to pay for whatever materials nico needed .

it was in this strange way that nico grew up p spoiled . somehow having nothing while also having absolutely everything at the same time .

very much a family man , the first big purchase nico made once he broke out in hollywood was a house in beverly hills for his parents . now that he’s finally at a place where he can take care of his family , nico makes sure that his parents and sisters want for nothing

while he showers everyone else with generous gifts and obscene amounts of money , nico doesn’t particularly feel comfortable doing the same for himself . he’s a simple man through n through . one who’s content to spend his time walking his dog late at night , listening to a podcast on his airpods , instead of going out to a club w/ other well-known socialites .

a true artist at heart , nico refuses to conform to the current trends of hollywood , instead insisting on wearing thrifted clothes to important galas — ‏‏‎much to the frustration of his PR team and the chagrin of his stylists . but none of the choices nico makes seems to surprise anyone anymore . driving flashy cars and wearing designer clothes has never really been his style , after all . and it’s important to him that he remain authentically himself despite everything .

WANTED CONNECTS.

pr relationship ( open ) : someone that nico is contractually obligated to date ... i could totally see there being drama ‘n tension from having to pretend to actually like each other ... would b better if they rly did not like each other at all ...

fwb ( open ) : buddies who bump uglies sometimes ... they both agreed they’d never catch feelings for each other but we’ll see ...

frenemies ( open ) : someone that grinds nico’s gears but they’re a friend of his friend ... so they’re forced to keep it civil . i can see them exchanging hateful comments in the back of their friend’s car while simultaneously posting pics of each other on ig to keep up the rouse .

unrequited crush ( open ) : likely nico would not realize if yr muse had a crush on them ... but it’d be fun to play it out like a kdrama anyway heh heh

a close friend group ( open / any ) : i thought it’d b so cute if there was like a small group of friends , maybe 3-4 ppl , that do stupid shit like ditch going to celebrity after-parties to break into abandoned buildings , get real high , ask stupid ‘ would u rather ‘ questions , and do sum main character type shit ... yk what im puttin down ... ‘n nico is def the type to open up in the presence of extroverts so i think having a group of wild outsiders of diff bgs would b v inch resting ..

enemies / rivals ( open / any ) : tbh nico prob rubs ppl the wrong way since he has resting bitch face ‘n never wants to talk to anyone .. so im sure there r ppl who just do not like this mf ... and rest assured that the feeling is mutual ...

bad / good influence ( open / any ) : nico’s known to mount his high horse often ... mr morality over here ... so i just know he prob would butt heads w/ the residential troublemaker . tho nico’s artwork can be controversial and out of the box at times , his art style and his personality are at constant odds , and it’d b interesting to have that bad influence / good influence dynamic w/ someone .

family friend ( open ) : someone who grew up w/ nico in dtla ... couldve gone to the same public school as him ... or their families couldve gone to the same church ...

ok my intro post has become a fucking behemoth so im going to stop here ‘n just say i have so many more wcs in mind so if u wanna plot lets just talk hehe :>

#lavish.intro #okie gotta blast i have class in 5 min

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xxsanshinexx · 5 years

Text

The Definition of Love

Shoutout to @soulofatiny for inspiring this work

Characters: Wooyoung x Reader

Words: 5835

Summary: You only knew the textbook definition of love, but really, was that the same as the real thing?

Love was a thing you only knew the definition of. Categorized by the dictionary as a noun and occasionally a verb. In one sense, it was an intense feeling of deep affection. In another, it was a great interest and pleasure in something. In all these definitions though; they merely just gave love a general description, pushing the words off into another adjacent category like interest or affection. Never once did the definitions give you any insight into what love really was.

What it felt like.

It happened on your third month of eleventh grade. Students were rowdy. Teachers were starting to fully feel the nuisances that came with description of their jobs. The administration was struggling to adjust to the new characters littering the school grounds. And then there was you, avoiding all of the above as best you could. You swerved around gaggles of friends at lunch, doing your best not to get too involved with the little greetings here and there; truly you didn’t want to be bothered on your free period. There was only one place you wanted to be, the library, a place where you could truly do whatever you wanted with little restriction.

The librarian, an old woman by the name of Mrs. Yang, never seemed to pay you any mind as you sat in the back corner reading a book or dabbling on your laptop. You had gained her respect by being the only student who visited the place on the day free books were being handed out. Unlike the other students who came for the extra credit promised by their teachers, you had came for the sole purpose of getting free books. The words free and books delighted you separately and together? Well it was your absolute dream.

“Good afternoon Mrs. Yang,” You greeted as you stepped into the always cold library.

“Ah good afternoon Miss Y/n.” She smiled and turned back to the book that was splayed across her desk, “How are you today?”

“I’m good Mrs. Yang, and you?” Truly you didn’t mind talking to this woman. She was always kind and never dragged on like most of the other older people you had talked to before.

She smiled, not picking her head up from her book, “I am just splendid, dear.”

You nodded in response and began to walked to your corner, which had beanbags and books piled around it, “That’s good to here, Mrs.”

“I take it you’ll be where you always are?”

“I have nowhere else to go, Mrs. Yang.” You joked though there was a lingering pang in your heart as you flopped down onto the antique bean bag. Since the beginning of your high school experience, you had been mainly alone. Sure you knew everyone, had occasional chatter with those around you, but ultimately, it was you and your books. Everyone else was too caught up in the idea of highschool; the parties, the people, the sweetly sick love- and you just couldn’t be apart of it. It’s not as if those things didn’t interest you, or that you didn’t want to try them out at least once, it was more that those types of things never seemed to come your way. Acquaintances never invited you out, class parties never seemed to really include anyone outside of that circle, and you didn’t talk to enough people often to feel any sort of strong attachment to them.

The thoughts just made you sink a little further into the dust ridden seat. You had at least another hour until you had your next class, maybe you could catch up on homework or read a book or something. A small huff of internal annoyance left your lips as you reached into your backpack, pulling out your laptop and headphones- deciding that watching that movie for Lit would be the best option.

Who knew The Great Gatsby would be so dreadfully emotional. Having only watched barley forty minutes of the movie, you knew the rest of the film was going to do you no good. At least the entire thing was interesting, as you would later have to begin a report of the differences and similarities of the movie and book. A boring lesson that you had done a hundred times prior. You took in a deep breath and went to press play again, the eyes of DiCaprio beginning to haunt you on the screen, when a voice interrupted your actions.

“Um, excuse me?” The voice was timid and you furrowed your brows before you looked up. In front of you was a boy who made you wish you had taken a deeper breath as all the air left your lungs. You had never seen him before, you were sure of it as no one else in your grade had such angelic features and ashy hair.

You forced yourself to remember how to breathe, “I-um yeah.. Yes?”

He chuckled a little at your ragged response, the noise akin to music, “The librarian told me to come talk to you, said you had out the only copy of Billy Elliot left.”

Of course a book would be the only reason a good looking stranger would talk to you, “Oh um, yeah, sorry. Do you need it right now?”

He shrugged a little, eyes wandering over your lazy form squished into the bean bag, “Just soon. I need it by break so that I can do the assignment.”

“It’s no problem, you can have it.” You said, reaching forward into your backpack. Billy Elliot had been an interesting book, and while you hadn’t entirely finished it, you didn’t have the heart to deny him it, “I’m almost done anyways and the ending was already spoiled-”

“Keep it.” He suddenly said and you couldn’t help but frown.

“I’m sorry? I-I thought you wanted to read it-” He waved his hand and you stopped your words.

“I want to make a deal with you instead?” His voice sounded unsure at the proposal, like he was still sifting through its agreements.

“A… a deal?”

He nodded his head, as if he agreed with your words. “Yeah a deal, you keep the book but I get to hang out here with you while I read it.”

The proposition made your face grow red, and you fumbled to find the right words for a second. “What.. W-Why in the world would you want to hang out here? And you don’t even know my name.”

“Yeah I do, the librarian told me it’s Y/n.” The cocky smirk made you roll your eyes.

“Okay fine, I don’t know your name.”

“It’s Wooyoung, you could have just asked,” A small smile spread across his lips at how flustered you were, “So deal or no deal?”

“It’s a deal…”The words felt funny coming off of your lips, “i guess.”

“Sweet!” He cheered and flopped down in the bean bag adjacent to yours, his shoulder nudging against your own as he made himself comfortable. His proximity made a set of fresh nerves cloud your system. You hadn’t really been this close to anyone, much less a cute stranger, in a long time.

“Am i that exciting?” You turned your head slightly, just so you could see his head laying back lazily against the torn blue leather. The sight sent a weird, racing feeling into your stomach.

“You seem interesting Y/n, I mean your hanging out in a deserted library watching- is that Leonardo DiCaprio?” He eyes trailed from yours to Leo’s, the actor seeming to captivate the boy who couldn’t seem to keep his mind on track.

“You were saying, Wooyoung?” You smiled a little at his behavior. He was rather interesting.

He shook his head and forced himself to turn away from the screen, joyful eyes looking up to meet yours. “Oh yeah! You’re watching DiCaprio, slumped in a bean bag with literally no one around you. That makes you interesting to me.”

“Thanks.. I guess?” You laughed a little, having never been complimented as “interesting” by anyone before. It was all rather surreal and you couldn’t decide if you were dreaming; knowing how often you found yourself trapped between the world of books and ideas.

“It’s a compliment, I don’t find a lot of people interesting Y/n.” He smiled up at you and it seemed as though time stopped for a few seconds. An electric feeling coursed through you at the happiness he held in his toothy smile, especially since all of his emotions seemed directed towards you. That odd feeling in your stomach shocked you a little, leaving you tingling from head to toe. You were sure if you looked the hairs on your arms would have been standing straight up. It didn’t make sense, the feeling of excitement he gave you, it didn’t add up or match with any of the things you had read or learned. Maybe it wasn’t a thing you had learned yet, or seen in some book; no boyish smile could make your heart dance so fantastically.

And if it weren’t for the bell that snapped you from your thoughts, you might have realized what you felt was the beginning of the definition for love.

And damn, did that small kindle of love grow as you learned more about Wooyoung than just his name.

“Y/n!” The boy who made your heart race in funny ways yelled, bounding through the sea of students to get to your side. Ever since your initial meeting, you had noticed Wooyoung a lot more around campus and in your classes. Apparently you did have him in your history class as well as math; with him sitting in the back and you always in the front row. You had no idea how you had missed a boy like Wooyoung in your classes, but you just blamed it on the fact that you were never very observant of the people; focusing more on the material than anything.

Now though, you could never miss Wooyoung. In little less than a month of knowing him you could already spot his head in a crowd, his brash laughter amongst ceaseless chatter, and his voice in a loud room. It was odd how attached to him you were already, though the attachment was certainly not one sided.

“Hi Wooyoung,” You gave him a little smile as he slowed to a stop besides you, a giant grin on his face.

“Do you think you passed the math test?” His first words were breathless, but there was still that hint of enjoyment in eyes as nervousness seeped into his tone, “I sure don’t think I did. Might have to just pull some of my charms out on the teacher.”

You scoffed as you turned into the hallways that would lead to the main exit of the school, “You can’t seduce your math teacher to give you a better grade.”

“What? Don’t think a married man like Mr. Creed would like a fine ass person like myself?” He gestured to all of him and you rolled your eyes, fighting the stupid blush that always wanted to appear on your cheeks whenever he brought his features to the spotlight. Him and his dumb grin always made you feel such sparks across your skin.

“Truly his loss,” You sighed, playing into his fantasy, as you came to a stop on the main steps of your school, “but no, I don’t think you’ll be able to seduce a 60 year old man to change your C to a B.”

“Bummer, I really didn’t want to have to study.” He pouted and turned to you, smiling at the amusement that laced your eyes. Wooyoung was always just so fun to watch and listen to. You always found yourself giving him your full attention no matter the topic, for he always was just so animated in whatever he did.

You shook your head at his antics, “So what are you going to do instead of studying?”

“Ice cream.”

“Ice cream?”

“Yeah, ice cream.” He nodded and reached out to grab your wrist, the area exploding in a sensation of pricks and tingles, “How about it? I’ll even pay.”

You fought the feeling his light hold had on your hand, and mustered up a little smirk, “You had me at you’ll pay.”

“That’s the last thing I said!” He laughed but nonetheless began to tug you in the direction of whatever ice cream shop he dearly wanted. It wasn’t the first time Wooyoung had tried to drag you off on an after school adventure. The first time was only a week after you had met each other and he profusely whined that he had no one to go get pizza with, and you just couldn’t say no to his pout. You knew he had other friends, like the 12th grader Yunho and the 10th grader Jongho, yet he always made time for just you. A part of you wanted to feel touched that he always gave you the time of day and the other part told you that’s how friendships worked.

The shop was only a block from campus, it’s vibrant colors almost visible from the steps of school. You had only been here a few times before but you remembered how nice it was. The smell of sweets wafting through the interior and the pleasant songs reverberating against the walls. Wooyoung pulled you towards the door where a smiling ice cream cone was plastered against the glass.

“What kind of ice cream do you want?” He asked as he pulled you to stand in the little line that had formed. You were surprised this place wasn’t busier despite school being out.

“Um I don’t know?” You mumbled looking over the array of potential choices, “Everything looks good. Maybe just like vanilla or something though?”

“That’s pretty basic Y/n.”

“Oh I’m sorry what are you getting mr. exciting?”

“Strawberry but maybe cake batter, maybe both if I have enough money.” He grinned and pulled you in front of the case, to get your orders taken by the unhappy college student. You had ended up with something simple, mainly due to the fact that there was just too many flavors to choose from and you wanted more toppings than actual ice cream. Wooyoung, however, had gotten enough ice cream to feed a small family and enough toppings you weren’t sure what happened to all the dessert underneath it all.

“Don’t you think you went a little...overboard?” You pointed at the mountain of whip cream atop his dessert. You were sure you could see it swaying in the light breeze outside the shop.

Wooyoung chuckled a little and picked at the cream with his spoon, “Come on, they gave me a discount!”

“Cause you bought out half the supplies!” You argued, taking a bite of your own ice cream.

“Just means I’m a good customer,” He rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat.

“Just means you don’t know how to spend your money.”

“Are you jealous of all the stuff I got?” He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows up and down as he lifted up a spoon of pure whipped cream.

You huffed and looked down, swirling your plain vanilla with your spoon, “Nope, not at all.”

“Sounds like you are.”

“I am not-” You shook your head and looked up, only for a small handful of whip cream to come in contact with your eyes and nose. You let out a squeak at the sudden feeling and scrunched your face up at how cold it all was. And you knew your culprit immediately by the way his laugh resonated with your ears, “Wooyoung!”

He just continued laughing, loud and abashed, as you wiped away the mess from your eyes. You could see him, his head tilted back and his mouth wide open emitting a noise akin to music. There was such a light to him in that moment that you couldn’t help but begin to feel giddy as well. Usually you would have been pissed that someone had just thrown their food in your face, but you couldn’t be mad at Wooyoung. He was so happy about his harmless prank that it almost didn’t feel fair to take away the victory from him.

“Thanks a lot, Wooyoung,” You shook your head, fighting the smile on your face, as you tried to flick some of the whipped cream in his direction. And it worked, with the little cloud of white finding its mark on his nose and splattering across his cheeks. He let out a shrill shriek of surprise, no doubt startling others around you, as he stiffened up in his seat at the contact with the cold topping.

He pouted as he made contact with your sheepish eyes, “I guess I deserved that.”

“You think?” You laughed and he couldn’t help but mirror your actions until the both of you were but a mess of laughing teenagers, dessert toppings covering your face and happy tears leaking from the corner of your eyes. It had been awhile since you had laughed so heartily with someone, so purely, without a single care in the world.

Wooyoung was the first to settle down, “You’re a mess.”

You scoffed at his statement, “You’re not much better.” He grinned at the lazy retort and you felt time stop once again. The smile was radiant, like the sun above had kissed it with light. You knew Wooyoung had a pretty smile, you knew Wooyoung was pretty; but something about that moment felt so different. The way his lips twitched up in pure bliss, his eyes were alight with that life you yearned for, and his whole body seemed to exude a sense of joy that was hard to come by- it made you stop and wished you could have taken a picture. With the splatter of whipped cream coating his nose and cheeks, it was a moment of perfection and one that made your heart beat in unknown rhythm, made your stomach fumble with an emotion you weren’t sure of. All you knew was that you wanted to stay in this moment for a little longer.

Wooyoung’s smile softened a little as he stared at you, and he reached forward to hand you the array of napkins on the table, “Here.”

You gave him a faint smile as you took the napkins from him, to clean up the mess he had made of you externally, ignoring the tickling feeling that soared up your arms as you lightly made contact with his hand, “Thanks.”

But a couple of napkins couldn’t clean up the mess of your heart, your mind, your body- the mess of you he was making with his dumb smile, his pretty eyes, the life that surrounded him. The way he was making you feel so spectacular despite barley knowing him.

It wasn’t for a few more days that you got your answer to the feelings that seemed to only come out around him.

“Good morning class!” Mrs. Choi greeted as the bell rang and all the students shuffled into their seats. You had already been there minutes before the bell rang, glued to your seat in the back as you read through your previous lecture notes. Mrs. Choi was a great teacher yes, but Psychology was but a broad topic and you always had to review, “Today we will be switching gears from bad to good.”

“Bad to good?” A student from the front pipped up as Mrs. Choi flicked on the PowerPoint presentation, the colors on it a bright contrast to the rather monotone room.

“Yes from bad to good. We’ve been focusing on the negative reactions certain things have on the brain and body and I think we need to get into a little more light hearted topic before you all leave for break,” She reasoned and gestured to the display, which now read “positive emotions” in white bolded letters. “We’ve been talking a lot on how anger affects the body and how sadness can make you do incredible things-” She talked as she sat down on the table in the front, eyes scanning the room of students who were skillfully note taking, “-and now it’s time to talk about how good emotions affect the body, like happiness. Now, can anyone tell me something that would make them very happy?”

“Winning the lottery?”

“Money?”

“My family?”

Mrs Choi nodded along at the suggestions, “While some of your ideas of things that cause happiness are very.. Material, substantial things such as people or life achievements cause a great deal of happiness.”

“So like passing a test you studied for or coming in first for something?” Mrs. Choi gave a nod at the question.

“Yes, with things like that we are much more susceptible to long term happiness rather than with things such as the lottery or money. Could anyone give me a noun, and technically a verb, that many humans consider holding a lot of happiness?” You frowned at her crude question as well as the rest of the class. There were too many things that could cause a lot of happiness, and that would probably have to do with the perspective of the person in question as well.

“You all are looking at me like you’ve never experienced this!” She laughed and changed the slide, pointing to the one word in the center, “Love is what many consider to be the peak of happiness. I’m sure many of you have experienced such a thing once in your life.” Your eyebrows furrowed as her knowing smile. Sure, you knew you were loved and you were loved by some, but you weren’t sure you would have considered that peak happiness. You felt happier that day at the ice cream shop with Wooyoung, than you did when you were around your parents most of the time.

Mrs. Choi smiled at the students giving her funny looks, “I know what you all are thinking, I’m not incredibly happy with my parents? My siblings don’t give me that peak feeling of happiness? Mrs. Choi you’ve lost your mind!” She stood up from her spot on the table and began to walk around as she talked, “It’s good that your mind first went to your parents and family members; however, that’s not the type of love I was initially talking about. The Ancient Greeks had love separated by family, romance, friendship and the love for humans. We call these storge, eros, philia, and agape respectively. The one that tends to invoke the highest feeling of happiness is Eros, the feeling of romantic love.” Her words settled with you oddly as you wrote it down without question, “Eros is the feeling most of you will experience in full during your years here. How many of you have feelings you can’t explain when you’re around someone? That sinking in your stomach? The flutter of her heart? The joyous feeling you get when around that one person”

You couldn’t help but gulp when she spoke. She was asking all the questions you had been asking yourself. “These feelings have multiple meanings, yes, but they all have one distinct connection-” Your phone buzzed quietly on your desk, and you looked over to see Wooyoung’s silly contact picture hovering above the meme he had just sent you. A small smile made it’s way onto your face, and that fluttering feeling sank into your bones, as you turned back into your teachers words. “-They all have a distinct connection, and that connection is love.”

It was as if a jolt had gone through you, casted straight from the heavens above as her words went through your head. Love. It made your stomach sink… it made your heart flutter… it's what made you feel so giddy. The pieces seemed to fall into place as you looked down at the profile picture on your lockscreen, the name seeming to ring in your ears without even haven been spoken, and you swallowed thickly at the realization.

Wooyoung made you feel all the things connected to love.

You were in love with Wooyoung.

“Most of the time we do not realize it until odd, simple moments. Yet, such love has the greatest effect on our minds and bodies.” Mrs. Choi’s voice lingered in your head as you continued to gape down at your phone, heart now beating wildly at the realization that set your bones on fire, “Love is but a very funny thing.”

Love was but a funny thing indeed.

A thing that made your heart race and your breathing become erratic as the bell rang signalling lunch. Everyone in your class rushed to the door but you took your time to pack up, trying to calm yourself from the inside out. Now that you had a title for all the emotions and feelings, everything made so much more sense. You just didn’t think the realization of such a pure thing would make you have trouble breathing.

You stumbled out of the classroom door and let out a sigh of relief when you didn’t see Wooyoung right outside of the door. At least you were granted a few moments to get your heartbeat back to normal. You slowly began to walk towards the library, praying to whatever Gods above that the knots in your stomach would go away before you reached your little corner. There was no doubt in your mind that Wooyoung would already be there, with snacks for the both of you, sitting on the bean bags in the back corner that no one ever bothered.

And you were right, noticing as soon as you walked through the library’s doors, that Wooyoung was stretched out across to bean bags, his phone high in the air above him. No doubt he was scouting out the latest meme or TikTok, a thing he had failed to try and get you into. You walked over to him trying your best to project a facade of normality, especially as he turned and flashed you that bright smile you had come to adore.

“Y/n! Did you get that meme I sent you?” He said sitting up so that you could sit on the second chair that he was previously lounging on.

You took your spot with a small smile, doing your best to not show any other emotions except mild amusement, “Of course. It almost got me in trouble in Psyc.”

Wooyoung gave a little chuckle but there was a glint that came into his eyes at your words and it worried you, “Mrs. Choi didn’t take your phone?”

“She loves me too much to do that,” You rolled your eyes but at the mention of that damned word your heart sped up erratically again, your stomach knotted and your ears roared. The close proximity between you and Wooyoung became all too prominent and you flopped back into the seat, hoping maybe the jolt would shock your body enough to stop the feelings that had ahold of you.

Wooyoung raised an eye at your behavior as he sunk into the seat next you, head tilted so he could stare at your face. Even if the pair of you had only been close friends for a month, he could read you like an open book. He knew the second you walked into the library that something was bothering you; with the way your lips were in a tight line and your left hand was shaking uncharacteristically. He knew you were bad at hiding your emotions despite what you and others believed.

“I’m sure she did,” His voice dropped in volume and you closed your eyes to resist looking over at him, knowing that that intoxicating feeling would overtake you again. You hadn’t decided if you liked it, the tingling and the sparks, even if they always followed you around when you were with one of your favorite things. You just couldn’t really believe you had fallen in love and you didn’t know if you wanted any of the repercussions that came with it.

“Y/n.” Wooyoung’s voice finally registered in your mind and you nodded in acknowledgment.

“Yeah?”

“What’s wrong.” He said it like no question and you refrained from sighing. Of course Wooyoung would know something was up immediately.

“Nothing.”

He scoffed and turned on his side, giving you his full attention and you couldn’t help but glance over to his captivating eyes. They were entirely full of worry, “Don’t lie to me Y/n… just tell me what’s wrong.”

“I just… I learned something today,” You managed, tearing your eyes away from his as he cocked his head to the side. There was a roaring in your ears as you spoke and a sinking in your gut; but something wanted you to just tell him your epiphany. A part of you wanted to sing it to the world and it took every ounce of willpower not to just say it. You knew, internally, you just wanted to say it. Maybe than the dumb butterflies would leave your stomach.

“You seem pretty shook about it? What’d you learn about? A war or something?” He continually questioned and leaned his head down, hair brushing against your shoulder and your lips tightened into a straight line at the tingling contact.

“No… um it’s a.. It's something about myself.” You stuttered out, eyes wandering to your fingers in your lap, running your fingertips over your nails to try and ease your nervousness. You could feel your body tightening, in your back, in your arms and legs, all due to this odd stress that had been thrown upon your body as soon as Wooyoung laid his head against your shoulder.

“What is it than?” You could feel his breath against you shoulder as he pulled your hands away from one another, fearful you would somehow find a way to rip off your own finger. He had never seen you so fidgety, so nervous; and he had been with you the day you had a giant history presentation.

The way his fingers curled around you hand softly made your mind draw a blank, as your stupid heartbeat picked up into a sprint. You could only focus on the way his thumb softly drew circled on your knuckles, a thing you had told him you did to calm yourself down. You watched him, drawing shapes on the back of your hand gently, and spoke the first cohesive sentence you could form. “In psych they… we were talking about that feeling of butterflies... and electric jolts and such...and how… how i-it can mean your in love.”

He laughed a little and squeezed your hand in his own, that once unknown feeling encompassing your figure tenfold, as his words came out in a coy tone, “How’s that a bad thing?”

“Because I feel it all when i’m around you.”

You just had to say it. Maybe it was the way his tone made you jolt with energy or how carefully he caressed the skin of your hand. Maybe it was just the fact that with every second your mind kept screaming to tell him everything. It was the fact that all your nervousness seemed to fade, the stress that was weighing on your body, all faded into background noise at your words and you felt so much better.

Wooyoung’s quiet laughter made you furrow your brows in confusion, especially as he spoke in a light hearted tone, “Your confession was a lot more poetic than mine was going to be.”

“What?” You were thoroughly dumbstruck at his words and you could feel his smile grow against your shoulder.

“I was going to tell you today too, but it was going to be through some dumb meme… i’m glad i waited.”

“Wait.. you.. You...me?” You stuttered, getting frustrated with your brain as you tried to form an understandable sentence.

Wooyoung just laughed and lifted up a little, so you two could make eye contact as he spoke, a new seriousness in his gaze, “I get those same, stupid butterflies when I’m around you too, Y/n.”

You could only stare at him as you croaked out, wonder-struck by the whole situation, “When?”

He smiled at you, a whole other look of fondness on his face, “Our little ice cream date. Not just anyone will let me pelt them with dessert toppings and let me live.”

“Dumbass,” You mumbled but a little grin grew on your face, as well as a blush as you pulled up your hands to cover your face. Wooyoung reluctantly let go of your hand and instead watched as color rushed to your face, and he could tell it was due to excitement rather than embarrassment.

He reached out and cupped the side of your face, a new sense of confidence taking hold of him, and brushed down your hand so you could see his smiling face, “Yeah, but I want to be your dumbass.”

“My dumbass?” You voice was quiet and questioning, because you couldn’t believe the way his smile was making you giddy or how you really just wanted to reach out and hold his hand. Or the major fact that he wanted to be with you. You believe that was the real reason to why you could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

He laughed, hot breath fanning against your face, as he stroked your cheek with his thumb, “Yeah, your dumbass. So… is it gonna be a yes or no?”

A smile grew on your face, as his fingers trailed over your skin leaving a trail tingling sensations, “Yeah…. Yes you can be my dumbass.”

For once in your life, Wooyoung looked bashful at your acceptance. A timid smile grew on his lips as he retracted his hand from your face and moved it to encase your own, fingers intertwining almost like it was second nature for them. His voice was wavering a little as a spoke, “Can.. can we finish up that Billy Elliot movie?”

“That’s the question you ask next?” You laughed a little and leaned back into your seat, training your eyes to take in all that was Wooyoung. His ashy hair always styled neatly, a smile that left you feeling woozy, and eyes alight with a life that made you want to stare at them all day. Adding all of his physical features with his personality; one of childlike playfulness and a caring only found in the most compassionate people, it made sense. It was no surprise, you thought as you looked at him taking in the curve of his shy smile, that every little thing he did made your heart race, your stomach knot, and your bones alight with a newfound sensation. You smiled a little at his new timid nature and squeezed his hand a little tighter, enjoying the feeling, “But yeah… we definitely can.”

You now knew the definition of love.

And it was everything Wooyoung was.

209 notes · View notes

junjosekaimangalover · 5 years

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Loki (Loki Laufeyson) X Female! Reader

Marvel Imagines And Oneshots ( X Reader ): * Requests Are Open *

Marvel's Thor X Reader

Loki (Loki Laufeyson) X Female! Reader - A Night To Remember - * Lemon * - * Requested By Tori ( Or Silverdawn123 ) *

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I don't own the Marvel Comic Book/TV Shows/Movie series Thor nor do I own any of the characters from the franchise. I just own my writing skills and my very active imagination. I really hope you all enjoy this oneshot I made.

This is a Loki ( or Loki Laufeyson ) oneshot and this oneshot takes place during the film: Thor (2011). So if you don't know the story of Loki before all the stuff turned him evil (somewhat evil, misunderstood is all really) or if you haven't seen the movie then SPOILER ALERT: BEWARE!!

If you don't want to be spoiled then don't read this oneshot until you've watched it.

Other than that lovely note, enjoy this oneshot~!

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Your POV:

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I walked through the halls of the Asgard Palace when I came up to the treasure room and heard some loud voices shouting at each other.

" The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim on that day, now was it? " I heard one familiar voice say to the other. I noticed the door was a little bit open so I peeked in and watched the two figures chat.

" No it wasn't. In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the temple and I found a baby. Small for a Frost Giant's offspring, abandoned, suffering and left to die. Laufey's son. " The other voice said. I then realized that the two figures were Odin and Loki.

" Laufey's Son? " Loki said in confusion.

" Yes. " Odin nodded.

" Why? You were needed in Odin blood, why did you take me? " Loki questioned him. I begun to wonder the same thing.

" You were an innocent child. " Odin replied.

" No, you took me for a purpose so what was it? " Loki asked once more but Odin didn't reply.

" Tell Me!! " Loki shouted.

" I thought we could unite our kingdoms, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace....through you but those plans no longer matter. " Odin confessed. I was shocked beyond words, I couldn't believe my ears.

" So I am no more than an unearthed stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me? " Loki panted.

" Why do you twist my words? " Odin sighed.

" You could've told me what I was from the beginning, why didn't you? " Loki asked while his tone demanded an answer.

" You're my son, I only wanted to protect you from the truth. " Odin replied.

" W-Why? Because I'm the monster who parents tell their children to keep them awake at night? " Loki went on.

" No. " Odin sat down on the staircase.

" It all makes sense now, doesn't it? Why you favored Thor all these years, no matter how much you claim to love me you just can't have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard! " Loki said angrily.

Odin then passed out on the staircase and Loki was shocked and I could tell that his mind and heart were racing 100 miles per hour right now.

" Guards! Guards! " Loki called out and then a few guards who were walking down the hallways on patrol rushed to the treasure room to carry Odin to his chambers. Loki then walked out of the treasure room and was shocked to see me.

" (Y/N__ )? What are you doing here? " Loki asked me.

" I was passing by and I heard shouting and I happen to hear what the conversation was about. " I confessed.

" So then you knew about me being not one of them? " Loki asked while seeming to get even more angry.

" I swear I didn't and even if I did I would've told you in a heartbeat, something this important should have been told to you straight away. I promise I would've told had I known. " I said while grabbing both of his hands in mine and gripping them tightly.

" Alright, I believe you ( Y/N___ ). You are probably the only person I can really trust. " Loki admitted.

" Thank you Loki. " I said.

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* A Few Years Pass *

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I sighed as I walked around the gate back and forth. I then was greeted by Hemdall, he had a worried expression on his face.

" My Lady ( Y/N___ ), what ever is wrong? " Hemdall asked me.

" Thor isn't back with Loki yet and it's been 3 days. He promised me that he would bring Loki back and I'm afraid that not only is Loki not in Midgard but something might've happened to both of them. " I said while getting even more worried then Hemdall was about me.

" I see, trust me when I say that I know Thor and Loki are just fine. They can take care of themselves. " Hemdall smiled at me.

" Thank you Hemdall, your words mean good comfort to me. I just can't help but worry about them though. " I said while sighing once again. Hemdall could only stare at me and then he offered me his hand.

" Come Lady ( Y/N___ ), I've got something that bring you some comfort. " Hemdall said and as my mind grew curious, I then took his hand.

" What is it, Hemdall? " I asked.

" You'll see. " Hemdall then led towards the center of the Gate Room, there stood a crystal in the middle of the stand. I was confused as to what Hemdall wanted to show me.

" What am I looking at here? " I asked.

" Just be patient. " Hemdall took the crystal and turned it slightly to the left and then a big light shined above it. It was almost as if the crystal was projecting something.

" I usually don't use the power for anyone unless it's an emergency and seeing you so upset is an emergency case for me. So here is where Thor and Loki now and here is what they are doing. " Hemdall pointed up to the projection. I looked up at the projection to only see it becoming crystal clear.

The image was of Thor and Loki, they were both alright but they were fighting. Nothing new but I'm thinking that maybe it was about him coming back to Asgard. This argument seemed to be more heated than their previous ones. I had a feeling that they weren't just talking about Loki's fake death.

They....they were talking about me?

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Thor's POV:

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" Where is the tesseract? " I asked angrily, Loki only laughed in response.

" I've missed you too brother. "

" Do I look to be in a gaming mood. "

" Oh, you should thank me, with the Bifrost gone how much dark energy did the Allfather have to muster to conjure you here? Your precious Earth. " Loki asked. I grew angrier but every passing moment. I grabbed Loki by the collar of clothes and looked at him.

" I thought you dead. "

" Did you mourn? "

" We all did, Father did, Mother did and especially ( Y/N___). You have no idea what torture she went through. " I said and Loki looked at me dead straight with guilt and anger on his face.

" Don't you dare say her name in front of me. I can't bear it. Your father. He did tell you my true parentage, did he not? " Loki shaked off my grip.

" We were raised together, we played together, we fought together. Do you remember none of that? " I asked as I turned to him

" I remember a shadow, living in the shade of your greatness. I remember you tossing me into an abyss. I was and should be king! " Loki shouted at me.

" So you take the world I love as recompense for your imagined slights. No, the Earth is under my protection, Loki. " I stated.

" And you're doing a marvelous job with that. The humans slaughter each other in droves, while you idly threat. I mean to rule them. And why should I not? " Loki smiled.

" You think yourself above them? " I asked.

" Well, yes. " Loki replied.

" Then you miss the truth of ruling, brother. The throne would suit you ill. " I stated once again.

" I've seen worlds you've never known about! I have grown, Odinson, in my exile! I have seen the true power of the Tesseract, and when I wield it... " Loki climbed up the rock and turned to me with such a misunderstood intent of his powers.

" Who showed you this power? Who controls of the would-be-king? " I asked.

" I am king! " Loki shouted.

" Not here! You give up the Tesseract! You give up this poisonous dream! You come home brother. I've missed you, mothers misses you and ( Y/N___ ) is besides herself without you. " I said.

" I told you to not speak of her name! " Loki said while shaking me off once again.

" Why?! Why does the mere mention of Lady (Y/N___ )'s name shake you up so much? Hm? Oh, maybe it's because you abandoned her! The only woman who ever wanted to be with you forever, the girl who grew up with us, the fine young lady who would've done anything to become yours and would've given up who her own life for you. " I shouted at him.

" Stop it! I know I abandoned her but I had to! " Loki shouted back at me.

" Why!? What could've possibly been more important to you than her? " I asked.

" This! This is my true destiny! To be king and when I finally do become king then she will be right here by my side as queen, ruling with me like the queen she was always meant to become. " Loki panted as he stated.

" So, this poisonous dream of the lustful power is more important than anything or anyone else? Even Mother and Father, even me, even Asgard and especially her? " I pointed out by asking.

" Nothing is more important than Lady ( Y/N___ ). " Loki looked at me with angry intention.

" See, that's where you're wrong. "

" And how am I wrong Thor? " Loki asked.

" By coming here and doing all of this, she would be very ashamed of you but she would not leave you for anything. I can't say the same for you though. "

" No she wouldn't, she would be proud. " Loki replied while smiling.

" Oh, well let's find out. Now! " I said while grabbing Loki by the arm while a massive bright light hits the ground and absorbing us.

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Your POV:

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I stood there in disbelief to see that not only was Loki alive and well but he had did all of this on purpose. As the projection show ended, the gateway then opened up and I saw Loki and Thor step out from the portal. Thor then released Loki to the guards that then showed up.

" ( Y/N___ ), if you listen then- "

" We will talk later Loki, Thor and I both will talk to you later. " I said blankly.

The guards then walked off with Loki and he couldn't even bear to look at me after what I just said. I then looked at Thor with eternal gratitude in my eyes.

" Thank you Thor, I know that must have not been easy. " I said while taking his hand.

" Hey, I'd do anything for you both. " Thor replied while smiling. We then walked behind the guards who walked Loki to Asgard.

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* Later That Night *

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After the feast of Loki's return, Thor and I went down to the prisoners's chambers and searched for Loki. We finally found him and we approached his screen.

" Loki? " I said his name.

Loki was sitting on his bed and he then turned his head towards me and Thor. He sat up and began to make his way towards us.

" It's good to see you ( Y/N___ ), I've missed you. " Loki said while facing his eyes away from me.

" I've missed you even more Loki, we all did. " I replied back with a gentle smile.

" I bet. " He replied in a mocking tone while facing the other way.

" Loki, pay respect to the woman who was willing to talk to you after what you've done to her. " Thor demanded.

" I do respect her! More than anyone else here at Asgard! " Loki snapped back at Thor. He then turned his vicious gaze from Thor to me, his expression then got softer.

" I do respect you ( Y/N___ ), I hope you realize that. " Loki said gently.

" I do Loki, I've always known that. " I replied.

" What did you two want to talk to me about? "

" Well- " Thor started.

" Thor? Can I talk to you for a moment please? " I asked him to go with me in the far corner on the other side of the hallway.

" Of course Lady ( Y/N___ ). " Thor then escorted me towards the corner.

" Listen, I know there are many things you want to confront to him about right now but I need to talk to him about some.....special stuff and if I don't say it now then I will overwhelmed and destroyed by it. Is it possible that I can talk to him first tonight and then tomorrow afternoon you may have your time? " I asked.

" Of course ( Y/N___ ), please take your time. I will be right here if you need me. "

" Can you somehow open this so I can get in and talk to Loki from the inside? " I asked Thor.

" I think you will be much safer out here with me. " Thor stated.

" Thor, please. I can handle Loki and besides, he won't harm me. We both know that. " I said while resting a hand on his shoulder to reassure him.

" Alright but be careful. "

" I will. " I replied as Thor then gave permission for the guard to open the door and to which I entered the room. As I heard the door shut, Loki then walked up to me to embrace me but before he could do that I stopped him. Loki then frowned at me, displeased at my actions.

" Loki, before we do all that, I need you to do something. " I explained.

" What is it? Anything. " Loki stared deeply into my eyes, eagerly waiting my for my answer.

" I need you to create an illusion so that people don't know what we will be discussing or doing. " I said.

" Oh, alright then. " Loki then snapped his fingers and an illusion barrier was placed all around us.

" Thank you. " I said as I sat on the chair that was next to his bed.

" Yeah, no problem. " Loki then walked over and sat on his bed and stared at me deeply again.

" You know, I have a lot of emotions running through my mind and heart right now. I can't decide whether or not I want to slap you for just running away and faking your death or smothering with kisses in happiness that you're alive and back here. " I said to him while trying to think about my next move.

" Yeah, understandable. I would too if you would had done the same. " Loki replied while looking down onto the ground and away from me.

" I never would have done what you tried to pull off. "

" Thor said you would've been ashamed of me....I didn't believe him though. " Loki said to me.

" You should've. " I replied flatly.

" What? ( Y/N____)? You're ashamed of me? " Loki shot a look up towards me.

" I am not ashamed of who you are Loki, I could never be ashamed of you and all of your wonderfulness but what you pulled off here.....that is what I'm truly ashamed of. " I said while standing up and walking away from him.

" Wait a minute! ( Y/N____ ), hold on! " Loki stood up and grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him.

" What is it Loki? " I asked while biting my lip to keep from shedding my tears.

" I did those things for us! I wanted to show Asgard who was the best and mightiest out of all those idiot gods! I wanted there to be a world for us to rule, with no royalness and gods in the way and with you by my side only! " Loki turned me around and held me tightly.

" Loki, you said that I was all you needed in life. You didn't need to ascend to the throne like Thor. Did you change your mind? Am I not for you anymore? " As I said those words, my voice started to break.

" Oh Darling, don't you ever say something as foolish as that. Of course you are the only thing I need and want in this world. " Loki replied gently, this answer however did not satisfy me.

" Then why did you abandon me and Thor!? Huh?! You broke my heart and I seriously thought you were dead! When I heard Thor say that you CHOSE to let go of the scepter and die I thought ' Did he not care about me at all? What will happen to me? I can't live on without him. What does this mean for our relationship? I guess he didn't care about me as much as I did him. '. All of those things ran through my head and I was suffering so much without you! I was being tortured soooo much every single day from those questions and the heartache of losing you. " I confessed, screaming straight out while letting my tears flow on out.

" I uh.... " Loki was at a loss for words.

" ......I should just leave you right now but.....I can't find the strength anywhere inside of me to do that. I can't even hate you for what you did and I don't even know what to do about us... " I sniffled and I pushed Loki away from me.

" What do you mean? What's going to happen with us? " Loki asked and I could tell he started to panic.

" I don't know but all I know is that power means more to you than me and Thor so I know what worth we have in your eyes..... " I replied while wiping my tears away.

" ( Y/N___ ), power does not mean more to me than you two. " Loki said.

" Yes it does, you showed that to us by deceiving us and breaking our hearts. " I replied back while sighing.

" ( Y/N____ ) , please don't leave me! " Loki panicked even more.

" I'm going to go back to my chambers.... " I walked over to the door and placed a handle on the doorknob until I was suddenly pulled by my arm with such force that I think it might have left a bruise. He then pinned me to the wall and placed each of his strong arms on each side of my head.

" No, ( Y/N___ ) please. You are all I have, I'm begging you to please try to understand that I had good intentions for us. I had a wonderful future planned for all of us, I wanted you to be my queen, I wanted us to have a bright future, I wanted us to have a family together and I wanted to love you every day and every night for the rest of our lives together. Sure that maybe I acted out in the wrong ways but my intentions were always good at heart. Please, Please, Please don't give up on me....you have never done such a thing in the past and I don't want that to happen now. " Loki said that as he then switched me over to the bed and as I plopped down onto his bed, I was then met with a crying Loki.

" Are you crying? " I asked.

" Yes, you are the only person who can make me show my vunerable side. The only one in existence. " Loki said while his tears then fell onto my face.

" Oh Loki..... " I whispered his name while wiping his tears.

" So please, stay with me forever ( Y/N___)....I love you so much. " Loki kissed my forehead and gazed deeply into my eyes.

" I love you too Loki, I'll stay with you forever but please.....don't go breaking our hearts again. " I wrapped my arms around Loki's neck and pulled him close to me.

" I will never ( Y/N___ ), never again. " Loki then kissed me passionately and I moaned a little bit.

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( Author's Note: Here comes some smut so be aware! )

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Loki then roamed his hands around my entire body, I pulled his body even closer to my own and could practically feel his body heat radiate off of mine. We kissed over and over again and as we did that, one of his hand undid the tie of my dress. I stopped him and Loki then pulled away from our passionate kiss.

" What's wrong? " Loki asked me while frowning.

" Nothing it's just.....while we were together, I pictured this moment so many times that I wouldn't sleep for many nights because of it but now that we're actually doing it......it's just surreal. I believe that this is a dream that I might wake up from but I don't want this to be a dream that I might wake up from. " I admitted.

" Oh ( Y/N___ ), you have no idea how many times I've thought about this too. I'm going to make this a night to remeber for us. " Loki smiled at me and completely undid the sides of my dress/robe. I blushed hard.

" I hope I'm ready for this. " I said while my blush darkened.

" Don't worry Darling, we will experience new things together. " Loki then returned to kissing me passionately and I gave into his love.

Loki grinded his body on mine and I moaned out his name in response in our kiss. My body temperature was rising pretty fast, I felt Loki rip my dress off and I then covered myself in embarrassment and blushed the hardest I've ever been before. Loki then pulled my hands away from my body that I was covering and leaned into my left ear and whispered.

" Don't hide your beautiful Goddess-like body away from my eyes. This magnificent body is for my eyes to see only. " I felt my heart racing like crazy and removed my arms away willingly to let him see me.

" Okay, I will let you see me but can you be fair and take your clothes off as I well? " I asked timidly.

" Of course my love. " Loki then took off his uniform and showed me his bare fit chest. He then took his pants off and when I saw him, I couldn't believe my eyes on how fit and manly he was. I was wondering how I would be able to take him.

" Um.... " I stared at him.

" What's wrong? " Loki asked me with a smirk.

" Well.....I'm just wondering how you're gonna fit inside of me but I wanna do this anyway. Please be gentle though. " I admitted again.

" Oh don't worry, love. I'll be as gentle as possible but you will soon want me to get rough but small steps first. Plus, I'm really flattered that you think highly of me. " Loki purred in my ear once again. I felt the blood in my face just boiling like crazy.

" O-OKay... " I replied nervously.

After a while, two hours at the least I found myself to be at Loki's mercy.

" Hah.....Hah..... " I panted heavily as I laid my sweaty body/head on Loki's arm and passed out on his bed. He and I fell asleep together in each others arms while drifting into sweet dreamland.

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Five years into the future:

Your POV:

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" Weeeeh! Mommy! Daddy! Look at me! " I turned around to see my five year old son riding his Uncle Thor on his back like a horse.

" ( Y/S/N____ )! Be careful, I don't want you or Thor getting hurt! " I yelled out to the both of them.

" Oh let them have their fun darling, Thor and I were just like that when we were younger. " Loki chuckled while placing a hand gently on my right shoulder.

" I know but we made our son together, he grew inside of me, we made life together and he is our own flesh and blood. I know I maybe too overprotective but it's only because I love him. He actually reminds me of you honey. " I said while taking his hand from my shoulder and wrapping it around my waist and leaning into him.

" Does he? I thought he reminded me of you. " Loki rested his chin on my shoulder and tightened his grip on my waist.

" Well he is our child so he's probably a mixture of both of us. " I smiled.

" Yes he is. " Loki and I watched our son having a delightful piggyback ride on Thor, we laughed when Thor accidentaly ran into the wall and hit his head. We made sure he and our son was okay but we couldn't help laugh even more on how silly those two were.

Ah life in Asgard was interesting....

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Well, here is your request Tori.

I apologize for this oneshot for being super longer than my normal ones but I can't write a smutty/fluffy/lemon story without there being some story behind it. If you just want a regular lemon or smut than please check out some other stories on this subject and character.

I really hope you enjoyed on this request and I will get started on your other one.

Look forward to it~!

P.S - This is my work, so please don’t copy/paste and then steal this.

#loki x y/n #loki layfeyson x reader #romance #fanfic #smut #marvel #request

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jasntodds · 5 years

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1/3 I get where you’re coming from partly and you don’t sound rude at all. But things like suicide, rape, eating disorder, etc ARE NOT things that are common in horror movies. Viewers deserve to get the notice. (Agreeing with the anon you answered). blood/gore/violence are expected and assumed but not is depression and sexual assault. People deserve to be notified. ESPECIALLY if it could trigger them. “research” doesn’t do justice. I personally like to do research before I watch most things+

2/3 because that’s just me. But at the same time, not everyone is like that. For something I’m not triggered by like rape, doesn’t mean it’s not triggering/hurtful for someone else. And if you’re not triggered by suicide or depression, that’s good for you but it’s a VERY SENSITIVE and important topic for many. birdbox is based off of a book. But not everyone is assumed to have done research/read whatever that film/show came from. And they shouldn’t have to. The obvious such as violence and gore+ 3/3 gore in horror movies is expected and assumed. But people shouldn’t have to assume that something that hurts them, is in something they’re interested in seeing. Viewers deserve a notice. Like that anon said, it’s like a writer warning of death, smut and more, because the reader can avoid what could potentially trigger them, while still enjoying the rest of the story. Television watchers and movie goers deserve to know so too. Not everyone does their research and honestly movie directors+ 4/3 (I didn’t think it would be this long oop I estimated) producers and actors, have their own responsibility to get people to see whatever their project is. - BUT it doesn’t hurt to put in a potential trigger warning. If creators/performers want people to view their job, they should put out a notice/warning. Watchers deserve that. The obvious in horror movies again aren’t the same. Rape, molestation, suicide, self harm, aren’t things expected in horror movies. That’s not a part of the “genre”+ 5/3 a genre is simply stated as, “comedy”, “horror”, “drama”, “sci-fi”, “dramedy”, “action”, etc. comedy: pretty self explanatory. horror: the usual/assumed is gore and violence. But again w/ things like sexual assault, sexual harassment, depression, suicidal thoughts or actions, & eating disorders AREN’T a part of the “genre”, they don’t fall under any movie genre. There should be a notice. (This is the last part, again sorry for it being longer than I thought & again sorry if it sounds rude!)

No, no you’re fine!! I don’t think you’re being rude! We’re just having a discussion of different POVs!

Okay, I’m gonna explain why I don’t mention rape because that’s not a given. Rape scenes, in any genre, in any context, are POINTLESs. There is NO reason for them. Like, The Last House On The Left, for example, is it a good movie? HELL YEAH. But, as a rape victim, that rape scene did not sit well. It was too real and too graphic. If they wanted it, which it was fairly important to her parents finding out and such, they could have her underwear being partially torn off and then faded to black and then came back with her crying. Like that’s it. That’s how you show a rape happened. So, when I say that things in the horror/suspense/thriller genres don’t need trigger warnings, rape isn’t a part of that because there is absolutely no reason for a rape scene. None.

But when you get into suicide and eating disorders, 9/10 those things ARE mentioned in a review or even the description (Bird Box). Regardless, though, those themes are normal in horror/thriller/suspense films. I mean, the Nun has a suicide but it’s crucial to the plot. The Haunting Of Hill House, crucial to the plot but if you go out and you say “suicide” that’s a big spoiler.

That’s the entire point of these genres though. You SHOULD expect that these films WILL show something that makes you uncomfortable. It’s what they are supposed to do. To expect otherwise is discrediting the genres as a whole. Those genres are not made to warn you. They are not made to make sure you’re going to walk out a cinema perfectly fine, they wanna scar you. Eli Roth, that’s his literal goal. He wants to show you the most fucked up things he can because he can. That’s the genre. And he’s brilliant. But, if he told you “this film contains x,y,z” he won’t get that reaction. The whole of horror/thriller/suspense is SHOCK value. Making everyone as scared and uncomfortable as humanly possible while telling a story. They can’t do that by giving trigger warnings to every possible trigger because that just gives away the movie. Mental illness for example, if Oculus had told you that, the entire film would have been spoiled. Don’t Breathe, had the scene at the end where he tries to impregnate her through a turkey baster. That scene HAD to be there, it wasn’t graphic, just enough to give you the idea and she gets saved anyway. BUT, if there had been a trigger warning, that’s it. It’s spoiled.

I’m not saying everyone has to go read a book if the movie/show is based off the book, however, there is a book. There is a book which means there are reviews. There are people who have read it. It’s out there. People can do their research and if they’re people who get triggered by the horror/thriller/suspense genres, they should have to do their research before they see a film and then try to convince other people how shitty it is.

Why should people who like these genres have to deal with spoilers because people are lazy? That’s all it is. People are too lazy to look into a film before seeing it and because of that, people who genuinely LOVE the genres, should have to suffer? I don’t think that’s fair.

And trailers do exist and trailers are pretty indicators about where a film is going to go. Take Edge Of Winter for example. If you watch the trailer, it’s very obvious that there will be SOME form of child abuse. The dad is out of his fucking mind and traps his kids in the woods with him. But, people ARE STILL complaining that there wasn’t a warning. But, had they watched the trailer or done a simple search about the film, they would have known.

That’s not it though. Horror as the genre stands isn’t ABOUT the gore or the violence, it’s scaring you and making you uncomfortable. That’s why it’s called “horror” so everything goes. Everything SHOULD be expected. Child abuse, molestation, gore, violence, animal death, suicide, everything because everything can people uncomfortable. IF horror movies had to start labeling their triggers, they’d never get a person in the door to see the film because people would still be reading the ridiculously long list of unneeded trigger warnings.

Criminal Minds has never once had a trigger warning and they’ve dealt with everything I’ve just listed. Same goes for SVU. Why is that horror/thriller/suspense films/Netflix shows get backlash for “not having trigger warnings” but shows played on regular TV don’t? You know what you’re getting into with all of these. The information is all right there. You can easily access anything. If shows on regular cable don’t need trigger warnings, tv shows/films in the horror/thriller/suspense genres DEFINITELY don’t.

#holy shit that was long ksduhfusdj #tomshufflepuff #kaylee answers

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italicwatches · 6 years

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I Couldn’t Become a Hero, so I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job - Episode 01

I regret nothing. …Well, I say that now. I’m not entirely sure if this show will be any good, but it’s one whose title has had me curious for a while. Will it be silly and fun, or will it, I don’t know, turn super rapey or something? You never really know when you go down this road. So join me, won’t you? it’s I Couldn’t Become a Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job, episode 01! Here we GO!

-We begin with fire and brimstone. A volcano erupting! And then, to a temple ruins! It’s a scene right out of an incredibly anime version of Jason and the Argonauts, as our armored hero fights against a batch of skeleton w…knights, only for a harpy to come swinging in! He’s saved by a woman…in…

-Okay it’s one of these.

-Because that wouldn’t even qualify as Sexy Samurai in a decade-old shitpost video. So our hero, Raul Chaser, is willing to rely onYUP THERE GOES HER ARMOR. So she’s like Darkness but without the joke that she’s into this kind of treatment. A small army of skeletal archers pour on the arrows…When lightning comes down from the skies, brought by their other companions! Fight, war, and reach the giant leading this army! Strike him down, and they pass the exam! The woman races in, sprints up the giant’s arm, rams her fucking sword into his EYE…

-And Raul backs her up with his RAUL SLASH, carving deep through…

-Hard cut to the light of day. The hero school has been shut down. Demon Lord got defeated(probably by some fucker from another world), sooooo they don’t need to keep training brave heroes. They’re all fucked. They’re fuuuuuucked.

-Episode 01: I Couldn’t Be a Hero, so I’m Working the Register

-Hard cut to the Leon Magic Shop, where Raul has to sell suburban couples on enchanted washing machines. Magically guaranteed to remove even the most stubborn stains! But they’re not interested.

-TITTIES.

-Meet a perky bubbly young lady, Nova, who does not realize how sexualized she is. I’m sorry. Anyways, Raul is in a bit of a bind, too, since he hasn’t gotten a raise and his credit card bill is coming up this week…When a nerd comes in looking for some vintage cassette tapes. You’re in luck, they have some…! And suddenly the store is mobbed by vintage audio enthusiasts here to buy out the entire stock. Then they’re gone as fast as they came…

-And you know what, I don’t think those tapes are super vintage. I just spotted totally-not-Kodak film behind the counter. I think this is just set in the 80s-90s equivalent of this world. Plus, after a hoodie-clad blonde comes in, the CRT television in the corner plays Conveniently Timed News about how the cassette maker I-ONE has gone out of business! They just couldn’t hold their own against cheaper, ‘good enough’ cassettes and equipment from the competition while still making a profit. It’s a legitimate tragedy whenever that happens.

-And the blonde is getting mad and wants them to get the manager right now…Which is when Nova runs off to handle inventory. Escape, Nova, escape while you can! So Raul is forced to do it…Which is when the blonde slams a resume down. And is here for an interview. When the blonde forgets the resume…And so Raul’s able to read it, and holy shit.

-Raul bursts into the interview room with the resume, because you cannot seriously be thinking of hiring the demon lord’s child, right boss? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! You literally wrote it on your resume. W, Well, you’re supposed to tell the truth on those, aren’t you?! Anyways, busty lady boss has decided that Fino here will be joining the shop. It’ll be a good experience! Fino, Raul. Raul, Fino. Please get along.

-So soon Fino’s in the store, looking at all the stuff, and there’s some really cool things that humans have made. Like magicvision, and magic cassettes, and magic…You know what I’m just going to spoil it for you now. It’s 80s-90s level tech, made with magic. I’m not going to bother to specify anymore. It’s a fuckin’ TV, it’s cool that it works because of fairy dust or whatever but I’m calling it a TV. Anyways Fino never had a personal TV growing up in the Demon Castle, and is all oooooh and aaaah.

-Well, you know what else you didn’t have growing up in the Demon Castle? A broom. Get sweeping, rookie. …Yes sir! And then Convenient News comes back on to talk about the anniversary event for the demon lord’s defeat two years ago. Quick flashback, to how that day totally fucked Raul’s life. A young man, two steps away from a degree in a job that literally no longer existed overnight. His entire party was shattered. They’re stuck in dead-end jobs and with crushing college debt, and nothing to show for it except broken dreams and a bitter envy of those who actually benefitted from the changing order…

-…Damn. That’s…Damn.

-Eventually it’s later in the day, and Raul is continuing to struggle with getting Fino to, you know, work like a proper employee…Also shocking twist Fino has long lovely hair. And that’s when a rough, tough…Dirty old man comes in off his slick dragon-pulled hotrod. And he’s here to peek up Nova’s skirt and grope that ass. Fino immediately decides this shit has to be stopped…When the old man reveals he’s gonna be buying a lightbulb. One lightbulb. Every time. The perfect excuse. And now Fino is…Shall we say, confused. Are humans like dogs? Is butt stuff just part of the communication?

-Does Fino need to bend over? Fino stop bending over. FINO NO. FINO PUT YOUR BUTT AWAY. NOVA DON’T ENCOURAGE THIS.

-Lunch break, at last. Raul is able to sit down and have some food from the convenience store…A place with some old friends who worry about the dork, and look after each other.

-Back in the store, the boss is talking to her assistant manager, Viser, and trying to explain her disinterest in bringing in another company into the shop…When they spot Raul working with Fino at the register, over the security cameras. And cut down to the actual register, where Raul’s decided that the actual core of Fino’s problems is a lack of respect. Rethink everything. Back to zero. This job means they are lesser than the customer. Yeah it sucks. Deal with it.

-…Fino doesn’t know how to do that. Well try on Raul. Okay! …Fino you’re being demonic again. This isn’t a battle, you stupid dork. Are you a chuuni or just stupid?

-Fino is just trying to copy how Dad used to talk! Your dad was, literally, a demon king. THE demon king. There is, quite literally, no worse example you could mimic for this lesson! …You know what, start with the manual. But first, come on, to the repair room. They also do repair work.

-Oooh, what’s that? It’s a toaster oven. And that?! A humidifier. And…And Fino touches the humidifier, and causes a surge of water, electricity and magical energy that knocks the poor idiot into the far wall! Raul’s stuck carrying Fino into the break room to figure out a plan that doesn’t involve calling a doctor and getting into trouble, and oh, great, a note from literally everyone else who works today listing their reasons they’re not here right now. Awesome. Just awesome.

-Right, first step, get these ruined clothes off of Fino. …Fino was not wearing anything under that hoodie. And that’s how a pair of big, bountiful, ladylike breasts come wobbling out.

-And that’s when Fino wakes up.

-So.

-This isn’t great for either party. And both of them are having a freakout, until the actual events that happened get all laid out. …Please put some fresh clothes on, Fino.

-And eventually, it’s the tail end of Fino’s first day, and she gets to have a uniform! Now sweep the walkway. By hand. With this broom. Welcome to working life, kid. When a sweet old lady passes by praising her hard work, and Fino thanks her, and the kid might just do okay in this world. Maybe.

-Night comes, and Raul stops at the convenience store for dinner, having a brief chat…But as he walks by the shop on his way home, the lights are on?

-Because Fino is in the back, washing down by hand in the sink?! What are you DOING?! She’s got no house, so this is her house now. …That’s not…That isn’t…You can’t just…Do you have any idea how terrible dish soap is for hair and skin? I’d question focusing on that angle over all the other things Fino’s done wrong here, but at the same time, I mean, there comes a point where you just have to find the smallest bite of the elephant.

-And as Raul helps her dry and generally make herself presentable, they end up talking about their own pasts. Raul, who came from a tiny village only to see all the great marvels of modernity in the city, and Fino who lived an even less modern life in the castle…Despite everything, there is a connection of friendship there, and Fino’s starting to learn human society. She might just do okay here yet.

-Credits!

-Aftercredits! Fino touches the turbo button on the hair dryer and…Uh…It makes a biiiiig boom. She has a scary amount of magic in a world that runs on the stuff.

Hmmmm. Well, it’s not so bad that I’m gonna drop it, but man, the fan service in this one is dense…And a lot of it is pure camera-work, too, not actions actually willingly undertaken by characters. It’s honestly a shame. There’s a lot of interesting conceptual meat in this. It really didn’t need big bouncing tits and panty shots everywhere to be a good show.

Oh well. Sometimes I watch super amazing stuff and my job is just to show that amazingness to you. Sometimes, I watch not-so-great stuff and my job is to separate off the good stuff and bring it together into a better piece. If this one’s more the latter, that’s fine. We’ll just have to get a better vibe on it next time, in episode TWO of I Couldn’t … Job! Wait for it!

#where I watch #recap #anime #I Couldn’t Become a Hero So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job

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neuelib · 4 years

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MAY DAY POETRY PICKS

From the confines of a cramped rented room along the rhythms of machines growling. As statistics, as slaves, as ants, as lazy sloths. Our May Day Poetry Picks: poetry by and about the working class.

1. Ruminating life and death from a cramped rented room

Walking along the thin line separating life from death is Xu Lizhi’s poem titled “Rented Room”. Xu worked for Foxconn, a technology company based in Shezhen, China, one of the major producers of Apple’s iPhone. In 2014, the migrant worker took his life jumping out of his dorm window, one of the numerous suicide attempts by Chinese factory workers struggling with harsh workplace conditions while barely making ends meet.

The poem below was among those collected by his friends and published in the Shenzhen Evening News posthumously. It was translated through the Nào project.

出租屋 Rented Room

by Xu Lizhi

十平米左右的空间 A space of ten square meters

局促，潮湿，终年不见天日 Cramped and damp, no sunlight all year

我在这里吃饭，睡觉，拉屎，思考 Here I eat, sleep, shit, and think

咳嗽，偏头痛，生老，病不死 Cough, get headaches, grow old, get sick but still fail to die

昏黄的灯光下我一再发呆，傻笑 Under the dull yellow light again I stare blankly, chuckling like an idiot

来回踱步，低声唱歌，阅读，写诗 I pace back and forth, singing softly, reading, writing poems

每当我打开窗户或者柴门 Every time I open the window or the wicker gate

我都像一位死者 I seem like a dead man

把棺材盖，缓缓推开 Slowly pushing open the lid of a coffin.

2. Cutting the bullshit

Capturing the essential bullshit of all tedious, repetitive work, Jim Waters’ nihilistic take on the mundanity of work contains more numbness than anger. Statistics was originally published in Poems for Workers, an anthology showcasing poems for working class readers.

Statistics

by Jim Waters

I'm tired of listening to sun-shine talk, This pie-in-the-sky stuff, This travesty on patient toil;

Let the Jesus-screamers, The open-shop artists, And their ilk. . . Hook their fat necks over a flying emery wheel For. . . . eight. . . . long. . . . hours; And to the beat and whir of machinery,

Chant this:

"I work to get money to buy food to get strong, So I can work to get money to buy food and get strong.". . . Then, maybe, they will understand Why the church pews are empty, And men die for unionism.

3. Commuting from work in the rough hours

Ratri Ninditya’s poem “Ursula” is a raw, candid sensory journal of a coming-home-from-work trip any "poor, unfortunate soul” from and around Jakarta would deem familiar. We can almost feel the sweat dripping.

Read more from Ninin in her 2019 poetry book, Rusunothing.

Ursula

by Ratri Ninditya

di pinggir sudirman kau punguti kecoa-kecoa setengah matang. koyo berlubang sudah menempel di lehermu 1 minggu, dan kamu selalu tertidur di 76 dengan kepala tertempel di dada.

mau pergi ke mana, bu?

jalan raya beraroma minyak goreng, hujan asam, keringat sales unicef pantang menyerah. pernahkah tusuk gigi bekas siomay nyangkut di rambutmu karena dilempar orang dari atas jembatan? aku pernah. selokan itu tak pernah melaju lebih cepat. semacet malam jumat. mengalir di dalamnya wajah-wajah yang terlupakan, belum sempat diterimakasihkan.

mereka yang reyot sebelum kehidupannya sendiri dimulai. those poor unfortunate souls. this poor unfortunate soul. kita jadi tikus-tikus yang malu dengan jembrewi sendiri. makan, olah raga, makan lagi, lalu mati.

tubuhmu terbungkus botol plastik. transparan dan statik.

4. Marking inequalities and stark contrasts—with dignity

Contrasting one worker-related experience to another with prowess, Ernest Jones points at how workers are considered fitting for growing food and undeserving to eat them, how it is acceptable for them to make clothes and to not afford wearing them. This work is powerful as it captures Jones standing on his dignity through a declaration of his principles—”too low to vote the tax, too low to touch the spoil, but not to pay and kill the foe.” “The Song of the Classes” sings like a chant, emphasising on the burdens and expectations put upon workers with so much taken away from them to the point that they appear to deserve nothing.

Jones was a working-class male suffrage leader who was imprisoned in 1848 for his seditious speeches. This poem is also available in the Poems for Workers anthology.

The Song of the Classes

by Ernest Jones

We plough and sow—we're so very, very low That we delve in the dirty clay, Till we bless the plain—with the golden grain, And the vale with the fragrant hay. Our place we know—we're so very low. 'Tis down at the landlord's feet: We're not too low—the bread to grow, But too low the bread to eat.

Down, down we go—we're so very, very low, To the hell of the deep sunk mines, But we gather the proudest gems that glow Where the crown of a despot shines. And whenever he lacks,—upon our backs Fresh loads he deigns to lay: We're far too low to vote the tax, But not too low to pay.

We're low—we're low—mere rabble, we know, But at our plastic power The mould at the lordlings’ feet will grow Into palace and church and tower Then prostrate fall—in the rich man's hall, And cringe at the rich man's door: We're not too low to build the wall, But too low to tread the floor.

We're low—we're low—we're very, very low, Yet from our fingers glide The silken flow—and the robes that glow Round the limbs of the sons of pride. And what we get—and what we give— We know, and we know our share: We're not too low the cloth to weave, But too low the cloth to wear.

We're low—we're low—we're very, very low, And yet when the trumpets ring, The thrust of a poor man's arm will go Through the heart of the proudest king. We're low—we're low—our place we know We're only the rank and file, We're not too low to kill the foe, But too low to touch the spoil.

5. Confronting the pains of physical work in the intimate exchange between humans and machines

The ramifications of capitalist exploitation are real and most of the time physical. Through this poem, Xu Lizhi creates a narrative on work using the body—both workers’ and machines’—as a starting point.

On each line, as machines go to sleep, emotions disappear into dust, stomachs turn hard as iron, ore separating machines peel the skin, we witness a total, brutal, industrialist catastrophe involving the human body and machines, where it becomes hard to tell which from which.

最后的墓地 The Last Graveyard

by Xu Lizhi

机台的鸣叫也打着瞌睡 Even the machine is nodding off

密封的车间贮藏疾病的铁 Sealed workshops store diseased iron

薪资隐藏在窗帘后面 Wages concealed behind curtains

仿似年轻打工者深埋于心底的爱情 Like the love that young workers bury at the bottom of their hearts

没有时间开口，情感徒留灰尘 With no time for expression, emotion crumbles into dust

他们有着铁打的胃 They have stomachs forged of iron

盛满浓稠的硫酸，硝酸 Full of thick acid, sulfuric and nitric

工业向他们收缴来不及流出的泪 Industry captures their tears before they have the chance to fall

时辰走过，他们清醒全无 Time flows by, their heads lost in fog

产量压低了年龄，疼痛在日夜加班 Output weighs down their age, pain works overtime day and night

还未老去的头晕潜伏生命 In their lives, dizziness before their time is latent

皮肤被治具强迫褪去 The jig forces the skin to peel

顺手镀上一层铝合金 And while it's at it, plates on a layer of aluminum alloy

有人还在坚持着，有人含病离去 Some still endure, while others are taken by illness

我在他们中间打盹，留守青春的 I am dozing between them, guarding

最后一块墓地 The last graveyard of our youth.

6. Exploring surrealist cities (and selves)

Originally appeared in Subbed In, Bullen’s "City Exchange” set in Birraranga (Melbourne, Australia) is a surreal encounter with the city, without the self.

City Exchange

by Brianna Bullen

I order my eyes off Amazon, my spine off eBay and a cochlear implant straight from Coles. Falling apart in reverse has never been so seamless. We talk about moving to the city (permanently, in parenthesis: city as a homogenous w/hole because we can’t see the specific suburbs yet) but it’s crumbling in its own catharsis, a release from structure and history. I’m nostalgic, neurotic and in the process of learning semiotics, signifying nothing and searching for home and meaning in a postcard, the latest neurochemical upgrade and failed relationship. The advertisement on the high-rise for GMHBA glitches to a teaser trailer flickers to Coca-Cola: the duality of (hu)man. I take The Frankston line between Southern Cross and Flinders train rides my liminal stage where I can watch people yawn in the latest fashion and flick through a book page or two on the commute which won’t be remembered. I turn twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five Body machine the old biological clock running in analogue and cellular death. Not a teenager, or a young adult: am I a human yet? I now feel the cynicism I only used to perform now too apathetic to bother expressing the dissatisfaction in vogue. I flicker in industrial space, vague.

7. Condemning dreadful nine-to-five jobs

Disclaimer: It is never 9 to 5.

Letter to John Martin (1986)

by Charles Bukowski

August 12, 1986

Hello John:

Thanks for the good letter. I don’t think it hurts, sometimes, to remember where you came from. You know the places where I came from. Even the people who try to write about that or make films about it, they don’t get it right. They call it “9 to 5.” It’s never 9 to 5, there’s no free lunch break at those places, in fact, at many of them in order to keep your job you don’t take lunch. Then there’sovertime and the books never seem to get the overtime right and if you complain about that, there’s another sucker to take your place.

You know my old saying, “Slavery was never abolished, it was only extended to include all the colors.”

And what hurts is the steadily diminishing humanity of those fighting to hold jobs they don’t want but fear the alternative worse. People simply empty out. They are bodies with fearful and obedient minds. The color leaves the eye. The voice becomes ugly. And the body. The hair. The fingernails. The shoes. Everything does.

As a young man I could not believe that people could give their lives over to those conditions. As an old man, I still can’t believe it. What do they do it for? Sex? TV? An automobile on monthly payments? Or children? Children who are just going to do the same things that they did?

Early on, when I was quite young and going from job to job I was foolish enough to sometimes speak to my fellow workers: “Hey, the boss can come in here at any moment and lay all of us off, just like that, don’t you realize that?”

They would just look at me. I was posing something that they didn’t want to enter their minds.

Now in industry, there are vast layoffs (steel mills dead, technical changes in other factors of the work place). They are layed off by the hundreds of thousands and their faces are stunned:

“I put in 35 years…”

“It ain’t right…”

“I don’t know what to do…”

They never pay the slaves enough so they can get free, just enough so they can stay alive and come back to work. I could see all this. Why couldn’t they? I figured the park bench was just as good or being a barfly was just as good. Why not get there first before they put me there? Why wait?

I just wrote in disgust against it all, it was a relief to get the shit out of my system. And now that I’m here, a so-called professional writer, after giving the first 50 years away, I’ve found out that there are other disgusts beyond the system.

I remember once, working as a packer in this lighting fixture company, one of the packers suddenly said: “I’ll never be free!”

One of the bosses was walking by (his name was Morrie) and he let out this delicious cackle of a laugh, enjoying the fact that this fellow was trapped for life.

So, the luck I finally had in getting out of those places, no matter how long it took, has given me a kind of joy, the jolly joy of the miracle. I now write from an old mind and an old body, long beyond the time when most men would ever think of continuing such a thing, but since I started so late I owe it to myself to continue, and when the words begin to falter and I must be helped up stairways and I can no longer tell a bluebird from a paperclip, I still feel that something in me is going to remember (no matter how far I’m gone) how I’ve come through the murder and the mess and the moil, to at least a generous way to die.

To not to have entirely wasted one’s life seems to be a worthy accomplishment, if only for myself.

yr boy,

Hank

An audio version is available here.

8. Asking difficult working class questions

From one of our favorite poets Gratiagusti Chananya Rompas is this poem asking difficult, working class questions. Set at a metropolitan mall, Anya describes the whole consumerist brouhaha as she verbalises the personal terror of discomfort lurking in the everyday.

Berada di Sebuah Mall Pada Suatu Akhir Pekan

by Gratiagusti Chananya Rompas

kadang aku perlu beberapa detik untuk memutuskan eskalator berjalan atau berhenti aku tak mengerti orang orang di depan dan di belakangku ingin pergi ke mana mereka berbaris berseliweran mendorong bayi bayi mereka di dalam stroller atau mengejar anak anak mereka yang sudah pandai berlari aku menggandeng anakku tangannya kecil dan lembut menuntunku membelah lautan orang orang yang tak kukenal itu

kadang orang orang diam tetapi suara mereka tumpang tindih dengan suaraku sendiri kadang orang orang begitu banyak bicara tapi aku tak mengerti apa yang mereka katakan beli selusin donat dapat potongan setengah harga kalau beli selusin donat? siapa yang akan makan begitu banyak donat di rumah? beli satu set alat masak dapat diskon 25% kalau punya kartu kredit dari sebuah bank tapi aku hanya perlu centong? beli semangkuk nasi daging lengkap dengan minum bisa beli boneka seharga 75 ribu? apa hubungan antara makan siang dan boneka? beli frozen yogurt small dapat 1 topping, medium dapat 3 topping, tapi large dapat 3 topping juga? beli makanan dengan kartu anggota bisa dapat satu makanan gratis tapi harus top up dulu tidak bisa pisah bill? yang gratis bisa yang paling mahal mbak?

anakku sayang, tolong antar mama keluar dari sini

dan di dalam mobil dalam perjalanan pulang mobil ini bergabung dengan mobil mobil lain seperti gorong gorong yang mampat

aku harus berkedip dua kali karena aku merasa permukaan jalan di jalur sebelah yang masih kosong terlihat mengalir seperti sungai yang airnya hitam.

9. At last—embracing rage

What’s a May Day poetry list without the angry verses? In “Canned”, Jim Waters exclaims in great fury a slogan we can all relate with—to hell with you!

Canned

by Jim Waters

To hell with you!

You ain't the whole earth,

Not by a damn sight!

You sneak around shaking your fat paunch shouting: "I'm losing money . . . hurry-up . . . pull-out. . . "Step-on-it!" . . , and you "can" anybody that talks back. I've seen your kind before—always losing money—Riding in limousines, showing off on the golf links, And talking open shop at the Union Club.

On Sunday you go to church and tell everybody What a nice employer you are. . . On Monday you go blue in the face cursing your men.

You can't bull-doze me!

To hell with youl

You ain't the whole earth, Not by a damn sight!

Bonus poems

We’ve added four poems to this post that were not included on our Instagram version of May Day Poetry Picks. “Self Inquiry before the Job Interview” by Gary Soto, “Coal Deliveryman” by Ramón Cote Baraibar, and ultimately another work from Xu Lizhi, “I Swallowed An Iron Moon”, just because.

10. Self-Inquiry before the Job Interview

by Gary Soto

Did you sneeze? Yes, I rid myself of the imposter inside me. Did you iron your shirt? Yes, I used the steam of mother's hate. Did you wash your hands? Yes, I learned my hygiene from a raccoon. I prayed on my knees, and my knees answered with pain. I gargled. I polished my shoes until I saw who I was. I inflated my résumé by employing my middle name. I walked to my interview, early, The sun like a ring on an electric stove. I patted my hair when I entered the wind of a revolving door. The guard said, For a guy like you, it's the 19th floor. The economy was up. Flags whipped in every city plaza In America. This I saw for myself as I rode the elevator, Empty because everyone had a job but me. Did you clean your ears? Yes, I heard my fate in the drinking fountain's idiotic drivel. Did you slice a banana into your daily mush? I added a pinch of salt, two raisins to sweeten my breath. Did you remember your pen? I remembered my fingers when the elevator opened. I shook hands that dripped like a dirty sea. I found a chair and desk. My name tag said my name. Through the glass ceiling, I saw the heavy rumps of CEOs. Outside my window, the sun was a burning stove, All of us pushing papers To keep it going.

11. Coal Deliveryman

by Ramón Cote Baraibar

translated by Craig Arnold

Like finding a bar of aluminum wedged in a bull’s jaw. Like discovering in a sea chest a short obsidian head. Like looking through a padlock and seeing an undeserved dawn. As impossible as all these, as melancholy and lonely, was it to see the green truck that with the punctuality of a sacrament delivered the coal each month. On the slope its strained heart would announce itself vociferously, at the brink of death, and it would stop in front of the house as if to deliver the agonizing news of the fall of Troy. And then a man, wrapped in sacking, would pitch his cargo, resonant and angular, into an orange-painted crate.

Like opening a Bible and finding three leaves of laurel. Like lifting a stone and remembering someone’s name. Like finding the same snail again a hundred miles away. As impossible as all these, as melancholy and lonely, would it be to find, fifteen years later, the same coal deliveryman carrying on his trade, bent from the strain, determined to show the heavens that a man might do that job his entire life, that he scraped in the mines, that he stole thread from his wife to sew his sacking, that he dreamed of infinite excavations, of tunnels, and that they might forgive him for not having done more than that.

12. I Swallowed An Iron Moon

by Xu Lizhi

I swallowed an iron moon

they called it a screw

I swallowed industrial wastewater and unemployment forms

bent over machines, our youth died young

I swallowed labour, I swallowed poverty

swallowed pedestrian bridges, swallowed this rusted-out life

I can’t swallow any more

everything I’ve swallowed roils up in my throat

I spread across my country

a poem of shame

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anotherererifanshippingcorner · 7 years

Text

Actor AU - ereri week day #5

I’ll keep being late, but I really want to write OS with all the prompt for the ereri week. This is the Actor AU from yesterday -though, it’s already 3 in the morning here (so two days ago i’m an horrible person), and I’ll be out in less the four our for a two-days family trip with no pc, so I’ll try to work on the rest on paper. Now, I really need to sleep. (sorry, I don’t know where pining!Levi came from...)

Rating: General Audience

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin

Pairing: Eren Jaeger/Levi Ackerman

Word count: 1913

Additional tags: Alternative Universe - Modern Setting, Actor AU, Pining!Levi, Actor!Levi, Help director!Eren

Summary: One Shot for ereri summer week 2017, Actor AU

He wasn’t pining. He knew what the word meant – to miss or long for, as his generous friend and manager Erd liked to remember him. He had anything he had always longed for -a house that fit a man’s basic needs, a family, even if not blood related, a healthy condition and the job career of his childhood’s dreams-, so Levi rarely lost his patience when the guy started reprimanding him about not giving himself the chance to be happy. What did that mean, anyway? He was happy. He really didn’t need anything and wasn’t interested in nothing more than what he already owned. It wasn’t out of arrogance, an accuse that needed to be addressed since just being a well-know, successful actor seemed to qualify him as the perfectly stereotyped windbag. Levi was genuinely okay with himself. He had his good points and bad parts, as anyone, nothing more. The door opened, cutting short his mental soliloquy. “Good morning, Mr. Ackerman!” There. The help-director who has been assigned to him. Closing after him, Eren Jaeger walked toward Levi with his long, tight-black-jeans-hugged legs, combat boots, and a mouth-watering fitting olive green button down. His hands were full of take away cups and a bag from Levi’s favorite bakery shop. God, that deserved more than a simple “thank you”. “How many times do I have to tell you to call me Levi, you deaf brat?” Okay. Something went wrong during the brain-to-mouth part of the communication. “But sir-“ “No. Every day the exact same thing before we even get things started. Are you trying to offend me?” How was he so much more talented in screwing up all his not-work-related conversation than movie script? He may have accidentally terrified the kid -his big, clear, magnetic eyes were wide with concern and confusion. “NO! I would never dream of-“ “Then call me by my name as I asked you. We have been working together for months, no need for all this formality.” The look in his eyes gentled a little, his features softening with relief and a sweeter hint of affection. “It’s just hard to get unused to formalities, s- Levi.” “Mmh.” He wasn’t smiling, not really. “We’ll just have to get you used to it.” He didn’t mention the fact that they had more or less one last week of filming left, and Eren didn’t, either. He handed out one of the cups and then hesitated, fiddling with the paper bag. “Here is your tea. I, uhm, I was walking past the place you told me about on the way here, the one with fresh bagels and those awesome donuts we ate when your brought them here? I thought they’d make the day start better, since the filming process is getting pretty intense, plus you seemed a lot stressed last week, so… yeah.” Eren gave him the bag and Levi didn’t know if he should gaze in wonder at that or the boy sitting in front of him on the couch. He chose to check on the item in his hands, breathing in. Levi smelled the chocolate-praline coated bagel before seeing or touching it. “Careful, Eren, you’re spoiling me. I may ask you to abandon the movie making road and become my slave.” And that wasn’t meant to sound as sexual harassment. “W-well, I wouldn’t mind this little deviation to become a routine for the days to come, if you’re up for it. Bagel really seems to lighten your mood!” You lighten my mood. He put a hand on his mouth to not let that kind of bullshit escape him. They already talked about boot-licking behavior and how much Levi hated that shit. They barely knew each other when Levi reprimanded him about it, and even then Eren seemed sincere when he admitted how much he admired Levi and his movies and how he wanted to work hard to make sure he wasn’t going to be a burden for any of them. Levi still saw the same determination, though Eren was much more mellow and friendlier than in those first days. He liked that attitude. Soon, they found a rhythm -practicing lines on mornings in Levi’s dressing room until it was time to film. The perfect routine, one he fought to maintain when the director wanted to change filming times due to a not so important reason -Pixis thought Levi wasn’t sleeping enough, that he was giving a hard time to his make up and hair styling team, but that was stupid, he just wanted to be there in time every morning to review his lines with the boy. He started eating, looking over at Eren as he pulled out of his bag the script from today’s scenes and summed up them for Levi. His voice demanded to be listened to, rich and enthusiastic while articulating every word and sentence, and Levi couldn’t do anything but what he was supposed to do. Chocolate hair were brushed off by a strong looking hand, so delicate between between those locks, and Levi followed it until it disappeared, focusing instead on Eren’s eyes. Worse. He sighed and told Eren to hand him the script so he could refresh the lines in his head before they started to work seriously.

***

“You’re being ridiculous.” “I’ve already heard that.” “Because you are! This is your ultimate chance! My God, Levi, you’ve been-“ “-pining on the help-director for moths! Why the two of you always talk about the same thing?! Don’t you get bored?” Erd turned around on the barstool and regarded Hanji, one out of two script’s co-writer, with a disapproving look. “You’re not helping, you know that?” “I can’t not-help something that isn’t even there, now, can I?” Levi shot her a dark look, sipping his drink with a frown. “Don’t you have lines to create instead of spitting bullshit here?” “We finished filming, honey!” “Don’t call me that.” “Aww, come on! Everyone knows, okay? Just go with the flow and see what happens! You two should talk and keep it slow, or meet up and fuck all day. But this sexual tension you’re emitting has to stop. It’s becoming hard staying around you. Literally” “Good.” She whined in annoyance. “Hanji is right. Stop pining after him and do something, dude!” He was not pining, for god sake- “Levi!” He shot around at Eren’s voice and located him walking over from the table where the crew was celebrating for the occasion. His smile was as big as theirs, only ten times brighter and cuter and his eyes where fucking shining under the bar’s faint lights. He wanted to run his hands on his cheeks and jaw and chin and caress those lips that kept forming his name and kiss him and see if they tasted as good as they were inviting- Fuck. He was definitely drunk -ish. “Why are the three of you here alone?! Well, you are three, so you’re not alone, but- you should come over!” Eren was cute when he drank too much. “You drank too much.” Right. No filter. Hanji held her laugh back, looking anywhere but at them, and Erd silently slipped away from the boot, siding her. “What are you talking about?! We are partying!” He threw his arms up, almost losing his balance in the action, and Levi shot forward, steadying the boy. “Stop, brat, you want to sprawl all over the floor or what?” “I want to get sprawled under you…” Eren threw his arms around his neck, this time, and Hanji couldn’t contain herself anymore -she burst out laughing, making meny heads turn around to regard them curiously. “Oh, wow. Okay, that’s our clue to leave!” Erd excused them with those word and dragged Hanji after him, while the woman kept crying out and shout thing like: “good luck with that, man!” He sighed, trying to keep Eren on his feet with his hands on the boy’s hips and ignoring what he said. “Stop saying shit. Come on, I’ll call you a taxi.” “Nooo. The party is not over, I came here to call you, not a taxi!” Levi was tired and drank and grumpy and he wanted to go home, but Eren stayed there, dead-weighing on Levi’s shoulders and muttering unintelligible shit in his ear. He sighed again, his heart was not jumping in his chest. “I’ll ride with you, okay? Let’s go, this is not a place for you in this state.” “But the others-“ “You look like you’re going to drop any moment.” “That’s not true! Stop treating me like a kid!” Eren struggled against him when Levi started to shove him out of the bar, not looking over at the table for even a second. “As you’re right now, you should be in bed.” “You could keep me company.” Levi moaned in displeasure. “You’re such a pain in the ass.” He leaned down and with a swift movement, he grabbed Eren’s leg for support, made pressure on his belly with his shoulder and lifted him up with a grunt, adjusting his weigh and keeping him still with his arm before walking over the door. “Put me down!” “As if.” “I can walk!” “It didn’t look like you wanted to.” “I’m going to spank you right now!” “Be my guest.” They left the bar, one more willing than the other, and Levi called for the taxi and moved closer to the edge of the sidewalk, were a bench was. He threw Eren there, minding he didn’t land too hard, and then sat down next to him. Eren almost instantly attached himself to Levi octopus style, making the actor wonder where he found so much agility when he seemed such a sluggish drunk. “Eren.” “Mmmmh.” “Move.” “I hno wanto.” Levi barely understood him. “I don’t care want you want, move.” He wasn’t agitated. He was perfectly calm. Eren didn’t move. “Eren.” “Mmmh.” “Eren-“ “You’r s’ comfy.” Levi freezed. Eren tightened his hold, nuzzling his face against the juncture of his shoulder and neck, making him shiver. Jesus fuckin- “I like your neck, it’s soft.” He spoke more clearly, taking a deep breath, then another. He was sniffing Levi. His heartrate was okay. It was all fucking good. Levi suddenly felt teeth against his neck and he barely held back a real moan, shocked at how quickly he had relaxed on that bench next to Eren. “Eren, we are drunk. Stop.” “Bt you wan me.” “What?” “I know. People talk. And I saw… when you thought I wasn’t lookin…” Levi swallowed, his throat so dry it hurt a little. And he was sweating, fucking gross! Eren’s words were sluggish, but understandably occasionally. He didn’t move his head and kept hugging him, as if he was afraid of letting him go. Levi just wanted to run. Or stay right where he was. “Why re you always s’ jumpy? I barely know what to do with myself when you… you re so… uh.” Levi’s arm found home on Eren’s bended shoulders, and the tension he felt in the boy’s voice seemed to leave his body, at least. “Not now, brat. We can- we can talk in the morning. Alright?” “You’ll be there?” “Uhm-“ “Stay on the couch. Or in my bed. Whatever.” “You seem awfully awake, right now.” “Not my fault.” Levi nuzzled him back a little, and the two of them waited the taxi. Erd was right -he was pining. But little did they know -Eren was pining too.

#ererievents #ererisummer2017 #ereriauweek #actor au #ereri #my writing #pining!Levi #kind of funny #day 5 #drunk dorks #i want to keep writing but i'm so sleepy #3 a.m. work #sorry

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dweemeister · 7 years

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A Star Is Born (1937)

Hollywood fame and fortune and everything that goes with it has been a favorite topic of American movies since popular fan-driven culture around the art form has existed. Show People (1928), Sunset Boulevard (1950), and most recently La La Land (2016) have been crafted by Hollywood about Hollywood. One film about Hollywood that has been remade twice and, soon, thrice, is A Star Is Born – originally starring Janet Gaynor and Fredric March, directed by William A. Wellman, and produced by David O. Selznick. The 1954 version starred Judy Garland and James Mason; the 1976 version starred Barbra Streisand and Kris Kristofferson; the 2018 version will star Stefani Germanotta (Lady Gaga’s given name) and Bradley Cooper. I have not seen the 1976 A Star Is Born, and the 1954 remake is the subject of the first write-up I ever published on this blog (it’s short and embarrassing; I knew much less about writing on cinema than I do now... and I still don’t think I’m good at this).

Before A Star Is Born, Hollywood movies about Hollywood painted a rosy picture of the movie industry, where the greatest cinematic talents come to work and where success is no stranger to those to dedicate everything they have. Of course, that image is a sanitized one, and did not apply to countless ethnic and racial minorities, as well as advantaging men over women. Some things just have not changed, obviously (although the industry continues to make improvements), but A Star Is Born has never approached these inequalities from that angle. Nevertheless, it is still within this context that A Star Is Born frames a desire for stardom – the fantasy of what it looks like, the disappointment and personal tragedies that can occur.

Esther Victoria Blodgett (Gaynor) lives in an agricultural North Dakota town with her family. The local movie theater is one of her few means of escape, and she aspires to be the next Greta Garbo, Katharine Hepburn, or Mae West. Everyone in the family disparages those dreams, except Grandmother Lettie (May Robson). Grandmother Lettie lends Esther money for the train ride to and lodgings in Southern California. Esther begins living in a boarding house with other Hollywood hopefuls, like out-of-work assistant director Danny McGuire (Andy Devine), but is stonewalled when the casting agency refuses to accept any more applications for extra parts. Danny pulls some strings and gets Esther a job serving at a high-end Hollywood party. Actor Norman Maine (March) – whose career has been slowly declining – finds himself attracted to Esther, and convinces producer Oliver Niles (Adolphe Menjou) to allow her a screen test. She does well. In the tradition of the old Hollywood Studio System providing their newest contractees stage names, Esther is renamed “Vicki Lester”, and has a sensational debut film starring opposite Norman, her love. But as Norman’s career and mental health continue to tumble, Vicki Lester becomes the world’s darling.

As A Star Is Born was released to theaters, the career trajectories of Janet Gaynor and Fredric March were the reverse of the characters they played. Gaynor (1927′s 7th Heaven and Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans) became a premier box office draw for Fox Film Corporation (renamed “20th Century Fox” in 1935) in the later silent years, but her draw had waned by the mid-1930s, and she retired from the movies in 1939, at age thirty-three – her reason: to seek out other adventures and raise a family. For Fredric March, after years wallowing as an extra with Paramount, breakout leading roles came in Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1932) and this film. March sustained an excellent standard of work into a decades-spanning career with highlights such as The Best Years of Our Lives (1946) and Inherit the Wind (1960).

Though March sometimes outperforms his co-star, do not underestimate Gaynor’s ability to sell the small-town-girl to the audience. There is an awkwardness and innocence in her performance as this North Dakotan transplant to Southern California. As the initial wonderment fades into a grind of job searching, Esther finds herself within touching distance of Hollywood royalty, but with the financial comforts of cinematic success galaxies away. When she receives her big break, Esther is a natural at acting (her brief imitations of the most popular American actresses of the 1930s during the party she is waitressing at are a treasure). But when she is no longer in the soundstage shooting a scene, Gaynor believably makes the transition from artifice to reality. As meta as that sounds (movies about Tinseltown tend to be riddled with self-references, whether self-important or satirical), we notice that Esther Blodgett – Vicki Lester – has changed with experience and the long hours her work demands. Compared to Judy Garland’s interpretation of the same role, there is more sunny optimism in Gaynor’s performance compared to Garland’s anxiety and natural melancholy. The latter is the better actress and produces the better performance. Even then, Gaynor’s turn as Esther Blodgett is worthy of acclaim.

March, whose character of Norman Maine is on the descendancy, is heartbreaking. Here, he plays of a man weakened by personal exhaustion, professional disappointment, feelings of worthlessness. His attitude swings are remarkable – at times, displaying a lovely intimacy with Gaynor; other times, going through the motions of a fearsome, drunken rage that frightens onlookers and enthralls the sensationalized press.

Since five years ago after viewing the 1954 Judy Garland-James Mason remake for the first time and dealing with my own mental health problems, your reviewer has become more sensitive to the portrayal of mental illness in movies – I am no expert, nor are my problems perfectly transferable to a piece of fiction or to the lives of others. Both the original and the 1954 remake share an almost identical error: an inability to portray Norman Maine in a way that fully contextualizes his alcoholism and mental problems, as well as providing a more acceptable cause and justification for his fate. Without spoiling for those who have never seen any iteration of A Star Is Born, it is obvious that Norman cares for Esther/Vicki, that jealousy – if Norman has any directed towards his love – is not actively defining their relationship. It makes Norman’s decisions in the film’s final minutes feel so arbitrary, swift.

We know more about mental illness better today than screenwriters Wellman, Robert Carson, Dorothy Parker, and Alan Campbell could possibly have done so in 1937. Yet the screenwriters actively portray a variety of characters – central and peripheral – attempting to shield Norman from the stigma hurled by those who do not care to understand. Norman’s destructiveness is handled sensitively, and Esther/Vicki’s decision to help her beloved is one of the most positive portrayals of being an ally to combat an enemy unknowable to many, unseen to all. Of course, A Star Is Born is Esther’s story of creativity and tenacity in what was and still remains an unforgiving, cutthroat industry. But as her world intermingles with his and as she begins to accept that arrangement, the screenplay is looking for a flourish for its Hollywood ending. That ending, however, disrespects Norman’s self-loathing and Esther’s sadness that she alone can only be of so much help.

One character, press agent Matt Libby (Lionel Stander), is depicted as a publicity-ravenous individual who distastes privacy, and delights himself in manufactured, all-American narratives for the stars of Oliver Niles’ studio. A Star Is Born’s cynicism is contained within Libby, with shame and taste becoming irrelevant when there are movie stars to profit from and fans – suckers, really – ready to swoon at their favorite actors’ work. If anything, Hollywood is a talent and personality machine, ready to assemble the newest products and to declare an earlier, outdated figure obsolete. There is no regard to hurt feelings, loyalty, or friendship here. Such is the Hollywood Esther Blodgett and Norman Maine find themselves in.

Accusations of plagiarism also hounded Selznick International Pictures, as a similarly-written movie, What Price Hollywood? (1932), released by RKO, has an almost identical premise and similar plot twists, but with lesser-known stars (Constance Bennett and Lowell Sherman). David O. Selznick produced both What Price Hollywood? and A Star Is Born, and though RKO prepared their lawyers to sue Selznick International, they ultimately declined to pursue the lawsuit.

After its release, Selznick International sold the rights to A Star Is Born to Warner Bros., which allowed them to remake the film in 1954. But when Warner Bros. failed to renew the copyright to the 1937 original, it entered the United States’ public domain. The curse of some public domain movies is that, without that commercial value of the copyright protection, studios are loath to grant such a film a restoration. W. Howard Greene’s cinematography suffers, as 1937′s A Star Is Born was one of the first live-action feature films to use three-strip Technicolor (invented in 1932, Walt Disney negotiated an exclusive use of three-strip Technicolor until September 1935), instead of using the limited shades of greens and reds seen in two-strip Technicolor. In this collaboration and in the imperfect print that I watched on Turner Classic Movies (TCM), Greene and Wellman never allow the Technicolor to feature the range of its palette as much as they could.

Following the film’s release, speculation abounded whether or not A Star Is Born was based on a real-life example of a closely-knit Hollywood rise and decline. Some cite Barbara Stanwyck’s (1937′s Stella Dallas, 1944′s Double Indemnity) seven-year marriage to Frank Fay (primarily a stage actor, originated Elwood P. Dowd in Harvey) to be the primary influence, even if John Bowers (1921′s The Ace of Hearts and The Sky Pilot) has been noted as the actual inspiration for Norman Maine. For those better-versed in the private lives of Hollywood actors than yours truly, speculate away.

So what is so compelling about A Star Is Born that this story has been repeated three other times? That’s not even mentioning derivative – a word which is not here being used in a derisive fashion – films that followed decades later. For as much as many movie fans and those not as accustomed to American cinema as a whole might be repulsed by what fame in the entertainment industry brings, we continue to consume these stories. Something in there, among the affluent actors, is an aspect we recognize about ourselves, us ordinary moviegoers that can no longer imagine ourselves as headline movie stars.

It seems appropriate, then, to have Grandmother Lettie help bring this write-up to its end:

Esther, everyone in this world who has ever dreamed about better things has been laughed at, don't you know that? But there's a difference between dreaming and doing. The dreamers just sit around and moon about how wonderful it would be if only things were different. And the years roll on and, by and by, they grow and they forget everything, even about their dreams.

Esther Blodgett has sacrificed her time, energy, sanity, and well-being to be where she is. By personalizing Esther the way this film has, we cannot help but root for her success, that those who love her the most are able to see her triumphs for themselves. If they are unable to do so, we hope that their support for her continues to leave legacies after the thrill of parties and premieres has gone.

My rating: 8/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found here.

#A Star Is Born #William A. Wellman #David O. Selznick #Janet Gaynor #Fredric March #Adolphe Menjou #May Robson #Andy Devine #Lionel Stander #Owen Moore #Peggy Wood #Robert Carson #Dorothy Parker #Alan Campbell #Max Steiner #W. Howard Greene #TCM #My Movie Odyssey

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thrymr-writing · 7 years

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Get to know you Part One

My first RPF Fanfiction! I'm really nervous. This is going to be part one. It's about Tom Holland meeting a girl, Spencer, who is not the typical pretty girl like I've read it a thousand times. She's normal and a fangirl. There you go. There is another original Character named Catherine and Harrison is a wise old owl in this, helping Tom out. Well, we will see how it goes. (English is my second language and I know I have made a lot of mistakes. If somebody wants to be my beta reader, message me!) -————- She was still a shaking mess. She couldn't believe it. This wasn't real. This couldn't be real. She still had the letter in her hand. She stared at the words "acceptance" and "contract" and then her hands were shaking so much, her eyes were tearing up, that she couldn't read anything else. That's when her best friend came home, saw her on the floor crying, took the letter out of her hand and read what it said. Then both of them were crying. Because she got the job. Spencer was a normal girl in her twenties. She lived in England in a small town. But this normal life should change as soon as she would board the plane to Atlanta. She was still nervous, even though she got her acceptance letter and contract over a month ago. Today she would be starting a new job. And a new life. Her dream was, to be honest, to be a director. Making movies was her thing. She dreamt of it since she was a little girl. And now she got a job at one of the biggest film production companies in the world: Marvel. Her inner self still jumped up and down which made flying not a nice experience. She hoped that she could do something low key first, because she wasn't quite sure if she could tame her inner fangirl. Well, not exactly "inner". She was the biggest fangirl in her hometown. Hopefully this wouldn't be a problem. She would need to keep her mouth shut and just do her job. But this was a dream come true. Be a production assistant at a new Marvel Movie?! Hell yes! Maybe one day she could direct one of the new movies on her own... but this would be a long way. Obviously she didn't know what movie she would be working on until she got to Atlanta. Marvel was as secretive as ever, they didn't trust her enough yet. But Marvel didn't trust anyone at that point. After the plane landed she headed directly to the set to get all the information there. They were in the middle of shooting when they decided to give this little english girl a chance to prove herself in being a good assistant. The assistant director and one of the producers were waiting for her at the trailers. She couldn't glance at the other trailers, wouldn't want to spoil herself as to who was staying here right now and which movie was made. Of course she hoped for certain people, but she never dreamt of actually meeting any of the cast members. Just being here, breathing the same air was enough to almost make her hyperventilate. She got there safe though and was about the head to the production team trailer when something hit her head coming from behind. A small thing, a tennis ball she remembered later, was thrown at full speed and hit her. The pain shot inside her head instantly but then another pain was coming through. Her knee. /great/ she thought. /my first day and I'm already injured./ She was laying on the ground. The force of the ball had knocked her over. In the distance she heard voices yelling. "Oh shit! Fuck! Omygodfuck!" "I told you not to throw it that way! I'm standing over here!" Giggling. "Shut up, Haz! Fuck." The voices came closer. One was still giggling, the other voice rambling about. "Shoot, I'm so sorry, fuck does it hurt? Bloody hell, of course, I'm so terribly sorry..." Spencer still couldn't quite move, her head pounded like hell and her knee was feeling strange. She squinted against the (terribly hot) sun to see who the fuck knocked her out. There were hands trying to help her up and two lean figures, mere shadows against the sun. Spencer tried to concentrate, to recognize the voices, she heard a name before and... No! Nonononono! Her head was spinning, not just because of the tennisball wound. She couldn't just meet her favourite Marvel Actor and really embarrassing crush right now! At her first fucking day! With a wound at her head! Just coming from a plane! Looking terrible! Well, she always looked terrible. She had no real "style", wasn't quite the "girl" as you would expect. She wasn't quite that pretty either. Especially right now. "Harrison please stop laughing already! We almost killed that girl! Fuck. Man... Marvel will kill me." Now Harrison stopped and helped the boy beside him picking up Spencer. "Are you alright?" Tom asked. Spencer now could see them both clearer, but her vision was still not good enough. Her face must have been red like a tomato by now because she just got knocked out by Tom Holland, the boy of her dreams. Damn that fangirl in her. "Uh..." was all she could get out. What do you say to these famous people anyway? Damn, she should know. She wanted to work with them! "You knocked all the words out of her, mate. Good throw!" Tom elbowed Harrison. He had a really concerned look on his face. "I think I'm alright. Somebody should check the back of my head though, because it feels like the ball's still stuck in there, leaving a really big dent... fuck, and my knee..." Tom instantly jumped around her to check her head. "No ball in here and it didn't hit your humour, thank god." He jumped back in front of her. "I'm getting you some ice, well, Harrison will." He shot him a look. "Your knee is bleeding though. Dammit..." Harrison was trotting away with a grumble and the words "I get a medi pack then...". Tom looked around to find a safer spot to sit in. "Can you stand up? We need to move. Go in to the shadows, the sun will burn you." Spencer was still shaking because of the shook and the pain and the fact that Tom freaking Holland was helping her up. They settled into a shadow, cast by one of the trailers. Harrison was already back with an icepack, medics and water. "Here ya go." Tom treated her knee and Spencer held the ice pack at her head. "Ow!" "Shit, I'm sorry. God, I'm shaking. I'm so so so sorry. How can I make this alright again?" As he spoke the last word he looked right into Spencers eyes. The first time their eyes met. Her heart stopped. For a moment. Then it pounded with the doubled intensity. He was more beautiful in real life than in his movies. Damn this beautiful british boy. "Hey! You alright?" Someone was approaching. "Yes..." Spencer said slowly, a bit star strucked from the look in Tom's eyes. Harrison spoke for her. "Tom just threw a tennis ball into the back of her head, the little dumbass, and now we're here." "You are the new production assistant, right? Oh Tom, we just got her, please don't break her at the very first day. Well, please don't break her any time. We need her desperately." Turned out, the person rescuing Spencer from falling head over heels (again) for (or because of) Tom Holland, was one of the producers and a very pretty lady named Catherine. She helped Spencer up and inside the trailer. She made sure nothing bad had happened to her head and gave a water. As they approached the right trailer to go inside Tom shouted after them: "Hey british girl! I will make it up to you, promise!" He smiled but his expression still showed concern. Inside the trailer Spencer collapsed on a chair and she cried. Great first impression. Crying as a twenty-six year old in front of your new boss because your crush had just hurt you physically. Spencer made it to her third day without any other incidents or meeting cast members. Mostly because she had to do many paper work, reading the script and getting rid of the remaining headache Tom gave her. Catherine turned out to be like a guardian angel to her. She was kind and helped her with everything, making her feel at home. And giving her tips to talk to important people. Spencer could open up to her, almost confessing her love for Tom, but at the last minute she could resist. That was too much. She just said she was a big fan of everyone and really a nerd and fangirl. "Me too." Said Catherine smiling and winked at her. What an angel. On the fourth day Spencer decided that she could go on a stroll through the set and trailer. Now she knew who would be here and what movie they were shooting. She calmed herself. The worst was over, she thought. She met _him_ of all people and they even touched and looked at each other. She repeated his words in her head over and over again, but she couldn't believe them. She was nothing. Not pretty (like in all the fanfictions she read), not oblivious to Tom and his fame and talent and good looks and not that important. He would have forgotten her already, she was certain. She wandered around, looking for a place to cool her feet and to read. She knew somewhere around here should have been a pool for the cast. She hated hot weather because whe never knew what to wear. Nothing suited her with the extra pounds of fat on her body. She wished for a leaner body and for being able to wear boys clothes without being frowned upon. She wished for the rainy weather in England. She wore shorts, flip flops and one of her Harry Potter shirts (not just a Marvel nerd!). The wound on her knee needed air and it was way to hot for anything else. Even though she didn't like showing herself like this. She found the pool and a shadowy place to sit. She made herself comfortable and took her book out. She didn't recognize two figures at the other side of the pool which were looking at her. "Look, it's the british girl you almost killed! Good job, she's still alive." Harrison said pointing at Spencer. "Oh thank god! I was really worried..." Tom replied. "You were?" Harrisson asked but Tom didn't answer. He watched her. "Should I go to her and apologise again? I don't know how to repay her. I feel so guilty. She just started here and I ruined it." Harrison watched her as well and thought about it. "Mate, if you want to feel better, go over and be nice to her. I have a feeling not many people are nice to her..." "What do you mean?" Tom asked and looked at Haz who just shrugged. "Just a feeling. Because she has a look in her eyes. Like she is afraid of what others may think of her." "Did you stalk her or something? The last time you just laughed at her and didn't say a word..." Harrison looked down at the table. "Yes. I laughed. And then I saw how she looked at us and at you and I figured I shouldn't because somehow I got the feeling she was being laughed at enough." Tom didn't say anything at that. He was amazed by the wise words of his best friend. He was blinking at her. Undecisive. "Be nice to her." Haz repeated and waved him off. Spencer was deep inside her book, her feet dangling in the ice cold water, being refreshed and alone. Suddenly she felt a presence beside her and in the corner of her eyes she saw two feet joining hers in the water. The person was close. Too close to be just another human beeing at the pool so she sighed and looked up. Her eyes met a brightly smiling Tom Holland. Her heart stopped again. And it had to be visible in her face. Because Tom stopped smiling and looked concerned again. "Sorry, am I interrupting your reading time?" She couldn't say anything. Why on earth was he here right now? Not that she was complaining about the sight he gave her, in his shorts and with this tanktop... She still hadn't answered so Tom looked hurt. "Shit sorry. I'm not here to hurt you again. I wanted to apologise for... well you know for what. I'm such a dumbass, sorry." He looked at her with his puppy dog eyes and she cursed him for that. "No. No it's alright. Sorry. You startled me a bit here. And I still have a headache because of you. You're kinda in my head all the time now..." As she said it she regretted it. She cringed at her own words. Now he looked startled but then smiled. "Am I?" He teased. "Well good... I mean, no! Not that this was my intention!" He bubbled up. She had to laugh at him being all adorable and cute even though he wanted to be tough and flirty. Wait, what?! Was he flirting with her? Tom sighed beside her and gave her his hand. "I'll try again. Hi, I'm Tom. Nice to meet you!" She watched his hand and his smiling face and slowly took his hand. His hand! She was just holding his hand! As she realized that she didn't say anything and was holding his hand way too long she almost jumped back. Tom giggled. "Sorry." She said blushing. "No no, it's alright. But you still owe me your name." His smile was contagious. "Spencer. I mean, my name is Spencer. Nice to meet you too." /oh god/ she thought. /what am I doing here.../ "I have the feeling you already know who I am exactly." Tom said but was still smiling. "But... I want to make sure you're alright. Maybe you have a concussion? I really am damn sorry and I was so concerned about you. And don't tell me it's alright. I owe you something nice and you can decide what I should do for you. You should feel at home here. We are all family." "You don't have to do anything Tom. I know you're busy because I was allowed to read the script, so..." "That was really mean. And you just proved my point." Spencer was blushing again. "Don't blush. It's alright. You are family now and I don't care. I like it. And I want to do something! Please don't just let me get through with it. I was really careless and should learn my lesson." Spencer felt a ping in her heart. So that is why he was talking to her. It was like a punishment for him. Alright. Case solved. She was beginning to wonder what he wanted but now it was very clear. His smile faded as he saw her expression saddening. "Shit. I said something wrong, didn't I? Shoot, sorry." He was trying to apologise again but Spencer couldn't bear the embarrassement. She was sitting here with her crush, who was way younger than her by the way and much more attractive and for a split second she thought he could be really nice to hear because of her but she was wrong. She stood up and Tom was nervous. "Don't bother to apologise. You will learn your lesson I'm sure. But not with me." She didn't say anything else and stomped away, with pain in her knee, slightly limping, and went to hide in her trailer. Tom got back to Harrison who watched the whole scene. "Dude, what did you do? I told you to be nice!" Tom shrugged and looked really sad. He screwed up. Like always. He told Haz what he said and Harrison looked pained in the end. "You utter fool." He just said. Tom's look was puzzeled. "Please tell me what I did wrong." He whined. Harrison sighed. "You weren't nice. You tried to be but you weren't. Now she thinks you're just nice to her because you almost killed her and that you need redemption. She thinks you're using her to make you feel better about yourself. And judging by the things you told me, she knows exactly who you are and may even be a fan of yours. Well not anymore I think..." "Why would she think that so quickly? Just because I said that? But I can be nice because I like her, can't I?" Harrison watched him closely. "Tom, you are aware of how she looks, right?" After seeing the clueless look in Tom's face he continued. "She obviously doesn't think she is pretty enough to be liked by you. That is what I meant with the people in her life laughing about her. She was definately bullied some time in her life because of her looks." "What the fuck? What about her looks? She looks normal?" Tom was frustrated by about now. Harrison smiled a little smile. "You think she's pretty?" Tom looked over to where Spencer disappeared. He tried to picture her. But all he saw was she laying on the floor, with a bleeding knee, all because of him. Guilt struck him again. "I'm so sorry..." he whispered, more to himself. Harrison smiled a knowing smile. "You didn't notice at all. You are so oblivious. And so damn cute." Haz shook his head and stood up to go to their trailer, leaving a puzzled Tom behind. -- "You ever liked someone way out of your league?" Spencer asked her mentor and boss Catherine. "I'm not your therapist Spencer." She winked at her. "But yes. Everytime. You know why? Because of under-estimated self confidence and self worth. If you think nothing of yourself, even the smallest portion of confidence in another person makes him a lot better than you are. But let me tell you, this isn't true." "What if the person is a well-known actor loved by the whole world? And I am me?" Catherine looked at her. "Oh honey, no." Spencer just nodded and held back tears. "What did he do?" Spencer looked at her in shock, the tears almost falling out of her eyes. "You are crying and asking me that. It seems you have very low self esteem. You were in a better mood this morning. You just came back from the pool. You met him, and he did something to you." Spencer just nodded and let the tears go. Catherine hugged her close. -————-

#tom holland #harrison osterfield #fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland x oc

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spotlightsaga · 7 years

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Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... Rick and Morty (S03E02) Rickmancing The Stone Airdate: July 30, 2017 @adultswim Ratings: 2.859 Million :: 1.48 18-49 Demo Share Score: 8.5/10 @cartoonnetwork @danharmon TVTime/FB/Twitter/Tumblr/Path/Pinterest: @SpotlightSaga *********MINIMAL TO NO SPOILERS********* Change is fucking hard. When something as monumental as divorce goes down during your childhood, whether it be at a very young age to all the way through to your later teen years and even beyond, it's never an easy adjustment. While it's true that i don't have a father, biologically speaking (I do but he literally has NEVER contacted me - lines open, pussy, redemption is just a call away), I was lucky enough to see my mother stand by her husband, a man whose rightfully earned the title of 'Dad' in my life. Don't trip, I'm not getting mushy here, I know my cartoon audience! Parents fuck us up, then they nag, then they don't speak to you, then they smother you (sometimes with a pillow). It's a vicious cycle, really. Seeing my mother stand by a man who literally almost completely destroyed himself and nearly took everyone down the dark and treacherous rabbit hole of addiction with him was extremely confusing. I harbored feelings of anger and resentment at first, but after awhile he made spectacular & unexpected life changes for the better. Suddenly I realized he wasn't some shit sucking asshole, he was just human, something we're all guilty of in one way or another. People make mistakes, and they sometimes self-destruct for no reason at all, and most everyone's first 'Fight or Flight' reaction is to pack up your shit and fucking RUN. I'm so glad that my mother didn't do that, we have our differences, but my Dad is one of the few male role models I have, that actually taught me something real in this world and given things I can really use and apply to real life situations. Sometimes you have to step away from people for awhile, but if you really love them, you never give up. I'm not sure if 'Rick & Morty' is the best place to pull out my existential bucket of ooey-gooey fun, maybe sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't... That's the incredible thing about this series in general! Where a great toon like 'Mike Tyson Mysteries' is frankly all fun & games, 'Rick & Morty' is layered (like a fucking onion, y'all) and far more than just a slapstick cartoon for stoners. People are finding that not only is this series funny beyond all reason, it's also incredibly endearing and real. The series main character, chemical friendly & artist of intellect, Rick Sanchez (Justin Rowland), would never admit it, but underneath all the multi-dimensional murders and lowbrow side effects from his chemical hobbies is a regular, mad scientist type Grandpa with a big ol' heart. Don't get me wrong, Rick has every right to tell Jerry (Chris Parnell) to fuck off... The whole 'tiny planet' fiasco and selling Rick out just wasn't a good look, it was a pathetic disaster, a true low point, and it landed Jerry in a job where he's paid in pill supplements and is basically a cuckold to the invading alien race... Oh, and then there's that god-awful windbreaker. Most straight men have problems dressing themselves after a separation or divorce, but damn... Can't nobody tell Jerry 1992 has long since came and gone, even though I wish it hadn't!?! Beth (Sarah Chalke) and Jerry had already been on the outs for two seasons, so this whole divorce thing was a long time coming. As much as I hate Gary's new post-relationship windbreaker, I am so in love with this new, improved, 'no fucks given' Summer Smith (Spencer Grammer). I feel like the place that Summer is at in her life in this very moment is the exact same place I would be and the exact same something I would do if I had an evil/heartwarming genius Grandfather, like Rick, who could travel back in time & space and alternate dimensions... And spend extended time in another realm ala Turbo Kid (2015), Doomsday (2008), or Escape From New York (1981 - Prepare for more Post-Apocalyptic film references). Not all R&M fans are happy tho, but that's because the show is expanding and going deeper... We're seeing an important evolution of the show and like it or not, it's a road that's necessary for the series to take so that it may spread its wings, giving us something new every time. R&M isn't a show that just pops us often... It's sacred, there's nothing on tv like it. It's literally a revolutionary metamorphosis for the #animatedseries genre. It cannot keep giving you the same ol', same ol' and hitting that one note that caught our attention in the first place and still survive with integrity... There's so many goddamn different and unexpected notes that this show can and will hit, both in the near and distant future, that it's completely unfair to ask it to remain stagnant so that we can have our normal R&M laughs. Shit just doesn't work like that, bruh'. Morty is terrified of this new Summer... But I don't think it's purely 'genuine concern'. Sure, that's a part of it, but already in S3 we are seeing Summer kind of inch him out of his co-anchor or sidekick spot with his Grandad. It's never easy to share the attention and affection of the ones we love, especially when the 'one that's loved' in question can literally make the impossible completely and totally possible. Morty has his own shit he's dealing with though, hell even Rick is feeling the toxic effects of the biggest divorce ever broadcast on animated tv. Weird, but true. In 'Rickmancing The Stone', Morty, Summer, and Rick all head to a 'Mad Max', post apocalyptic, style universe where men wear buckets on their heads, killing is for sport, and ultimately a place where you have to fight for all the things you want, to the death... Basically the literal opposite of what Jerry is doing with Beth. It's all a fantastic juxtaposition of the very life back at their original 'Earth 1' that they are trying to escape from and it's incredible to see this 'Nihilistic Wasteland' through three different sets of eyes, each character gaining something different from the experience. Spotlight Saga's Cartoon Fans are incredibly strict when it comes to spoilers, so I'm not here to spoil the episode (Spoiler Free! Yayy). I know that there are many of you, outside of TVTime, that read these articles for the content and don't necessarily watch the show. I'd love to take you deeper on this one, but I simply can't. We can give you the rundown on the basic plot, but trust me, anything beyond that and Cartoon Purists will legit crucify all of us over here on a broken telephone pole. Besides, when we tell you that 'Rick & Morty' could possibly be the greatest American Animated Television Series of All Time... We fucking mean it. This isn't a show that you want to miss out on, so those that are avid readers (and yeah, we fucking love you for it), know that this is one of the special ones that you need to set your DVR, buy the season on #Vudu or wherever you can access it and give it a thorough once, twice, three or even more times over. I, myself, have personally watched this particular episode 4 times already, and it won't be the last. The series, as a whole, is still holding strong at #7 on #IMDB's user rated list of Top Rated TV Shows (of all time), holding a 9.3/10 with nearly 138,000 votes and counting. That's some seriously heavy shit for an Adult Swim cartoon to find itself smack dab in the middle of a comprehensive list of all the greats w/series like GOT, Breaking Bad, The Wire, and The Sopranos. It's seriously everything that everyone says it is and more. Really. Those that ARE watching and are a little taken aback by the show suddenly taking a new direction and tackling serious issues through brand new avenues, give it a chance. This show has done right by you so far, it's definitely not going to let you down. I rarely put my stamp on a series outside of praising a season, or certain episodes because you never know what kind of hard turn a show is going to take... But let me tell you... I believe in 'Rick & Morty', and wherever this fresh faced S3 is taking us, I want in on the fucked up, Science Fiction laced, blood soaked, LSD inspired shot storm of a road trip fully stocked with McDonald's Mulan Szchuan Sauce... ESPECIALLY since the show is clearly embracing a bit of #existentialism and stirring it up in its big bowl of psychedelic, 'what the fucks', never-ending, unpredictable journeys... All while continuing to turn old tropes into something that feels incredibly new and progressive. Wabba Lubba Dub Dub!

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thimblings · 7 years

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AHHH!! YES!! um. prepare your eyes, this is gonna be a long, rambly post because apparently i have A LOT OF FEELINGS and i can’t just list things like a normal person. and i also kept remembering podcasts and the list JUST KEPT GETTING LONGER. so. GIANT TEXT POST, i am so so so sorry. also, there are actually a few on this list that i’m not caught up with (some i’m like REALLY behind on) but i’m still gonna rec them...

Welcome to Night Vale is the one i’m sure most ppl know of (although! if you have not read the novel, i’d HIGHLY recommend getting the audio book version. Cecil Baldwin does a great job of reading, and the “Voice of Night Vale” sections actually feature guest stars. i really want Cecil to do more audio book recordings omg). but!! along that same theme (radio show in a strange town w/ supernatural themes), King Falls AM is spectacular (ben and sammy are just! a freakin delight i love them). IMO it starts off feeling like it’s trying to be like WTNV, but within a few episodes it finds itself and becomes something unique (i say this bc i was initially put off by the first episode for that reason, and later came back and gave it another shot and enjoyed it immensely). it’s funny, it made me cry a few times, and i reaallyyy really really need to catch up with it. sammy stevens also has….just….a really nice voice hahaaaa The Truth is a great one. it’s mostly one-off short stories, but they’re generally really high quality and the plot of most of the episodes is really thought-provoking or just interesting in general (there’s one ep about aliens who find the Voyager craft with its recording that’s just really charming to me). the tagline “movies for your ears” is really apt. a lot of the stories veer on the side of unsettling/creepy, and it’s great if you like horror stories. i’d also recommend The Black Tapes and its sister podcast, Tanis. i love horror and unsettling mysteries, so these are right up my alley (Tanis is definitely more in the sci-fi/horror genre, but i like how it also digs into real unsolved cases and events). these are relatively well known, at least in that my friends who don’t listen to podcasts have listened to TBT at least. but they’re still great to check out if you haven’t. Limetown is really good, but ends on a cliffhanger and as far as i know there’s no immediate plans for a season 2? (i remember reading something about them in talks for a TV show? which would be cool, but i’d miss the audio format of it). the first season is worth listening to, because it is really interesting and the audio production is pretty top notch - just be aware that a second season may or may not happen. what i’ve listened to of Hadron Gospel Hour so far is SUPER enjoyable, but i’ve only listened to the first few episodes. arsPARADOXICA is FANTASTIC (at least the first season and a half that i’ve listened to). sally grissom is a great character and a brilliant and scientist and i’m just really in love with her. this is a nice podcast because it has very capable women in it and the concept overall is really fascinating and handled really well. The Cleansed, set in a post-apocalyptic US, is well written and overall well produced (there’s one ep that still sits with me, because of a scene that truly unnerved me, just in the music and the atmosphere and the dialogue just ahh) and i’ve been meaning to pick it up again. In that same vein there’s We’re Alive, which is of the zombie variety. i’ve only juuuuust dipped into that one, but i’ve enjoyed what i’ve heard so far. this one has been around for a long time, like WTNV, so there’s a lot of episodes and a lot of content available. THE BRIGHT SESSIONS! i’m really really fond of this one and i just really love it, please listen. it’s about a psychologist who works with people who have “special” abilities, and all of the patients she helps are just so! precious!! i just love them a lot. Wooden Overcoats is a GREAT podcast that is pretty much the audio version of all my favorite British comedies that i watched growing up (think Fawlty Towers, Are You Being Served?, etc). it’s a comedy podcast about two competing funeral parlors (one of which is owned by the Funn’s). it’s exactly my kind of humor, and everyone involved just seems really great and kind. Antigone Funn has great lines and HONESTLY i’m surprised i haven’t seen more people quoting her and this podcast because it’s just! really great. and i don’t THINK this is a sister podcast to WO, but i always associate the two because they have some of the same people working on them but - Hector vs The Future is great. again, i haven’t listened to many episodes, but i’d still recommend it. it’s slightly different than other podcasts on this list because it’s actually filmed/recorded in front of a live audience. Homecoming is a short podcast (only 6 eps and the eps are pretty short) that i THINK is meant to be part of a larger, written universe (which i want to check out). it’s about soldiers with PTSD. this one actually has some well-known people involved - both Oscar Isaac and David Schwimmer voice characters and do a great job. The Darkest Night is another one with big names involved - Lee Pace is the narrator, which alone makes it worth checking out. overall, i’ve enjoyed it, but some episodes veer into areas i was kind of uncomfortable with (Tic-Tac-Toe is the one i’m stuck on and why i haven’t finished it yet ahh). AND OK i really really really like space and space stories and space adventures, so my favs all have that in common hahaha Wolf359 is kind of like. okay, it’s about three people and an AI on a space station, light years away from earth - and the communications officer records his reports by pretending he’s doing a radio show. it starts off fun and humorous and things are great and then before you know it, you are going to be driving from Wichita Falls to Dallas and have to pull off on the side of the road because you’ve started sobbing while listening to it in your car. this podcast is fantastic, with a great cast of characters and strong women and DOUG EIFFEL and just. it’s very good. (i am ashamed to admit that i’m actually SUPER behind on this one. p much, i’m at the point where kepler and crew are on board but i’m only a few eps into this storyline). THIS is actually the podcast that really got me on board with the whole audio drama scene and just like….SCOURING the internet for more that would captivate me in the same way. This one is actually ending with this last season, which i think is a good thing? it’s very plot and character focused and i’m glad that they’re telling a complete story and HONESTLY! i’m just really excited to see where everyone involved goes from here. EOS_10!!!!! similar to Wolf359, it’s about a space station. there are a LOT more people there though (it’s more like an intergalactic hub). it’s about a doctor, his recovering alcoholic doctor-boss who he’s trying to help, a nurse who is spunky and maybe a bit psychotic, a hypochondriac alien-former-prince, and a “alleged” “terrorist” living in the cargo bay. idk this podcast just makes me incredibly happy. the writing is witty and fun, the characters are lovable and flawed, and i’ve listened to the whole two seasons at least 3 times because it just fills me with joy (my favorite dynamic always: assholes who are friends and they love each other but they also just….insult each other constantly. and somehow they save the world? but they’re still assholes). the universe of this show is really interesting without ever feeling like an info dump, and the unfolding mystery is very intriguing. WARNING: this show has been on hiatus for awhile, so there are only two seasons right now. but honestly??? it’s completely worth it. (obvi i’m hoping a third season will eventually come, but i enjoyed the first two enough that i love it regardless haha). and, finally, my current obsession. The Penumbra Podcast. it’s pretty much everything i’ve ever wanted in a series ever - detective film noir, but in space (on Mars), and literally everyone is queer. there’s a main story line (”Juno Steel and the [blank]”) and then one shots between each Juno story. the one shots are fantastic and really show the strength of the writers - sometimes being creepy, other times just being entertaining. The Juno Steel stories are the main running plot, done in the style of old detective radio shows - but also kind of twisting and upgrading the genre to be more inclusive and diverse. Juno Steel is a canonically non-binary and bisexual private eye (also canonically grumpy, sad most of the time, and a huge nerd who laughs at his own awful jokes in HIS OWN MONOLOGUES), and is the type of character you want to punch for being frustrating but who you also want to just…be…happy and protect from the universe. the writing in this is fantastic and beautiful and all of the characters are captivating. even one-off characters have a ton of personality and just add to the diversity/representation of the show. the voice work is top-notch and just!!! it’s so good!!!!! i have so many feelings!!!! (Juno hits close to home for me, with his self-esteem issues and depression and just…yeah, so i gushed about him there. i have a lot of feelings about the other characters but i’ve seriously rambled so much already so I WILL REFRAIN. also? gushing TOO much about a certain someone spoils the enjoyment of getting to know them at the same time Juno does) i REALLY enjoy audio drama-type podcasts so that’s mostly what i listen to. i’m also really into true crime and weird theories and occult stuff, but i’m particular about the podcasts i listen to for that. basically, i get attached to a specific host(s) and it’s hard for me to listen to anyone else talk about similar things haha. so as far as that goes, i love The Last Podcast on the Left (haha i get a bit nervous rec’ing this one because it’s really offensive, mostly in the early eps, and is def not for everyone but honestly!! i just love these boys a lot, and they discuss p much everything i’d ever be interested in ever). this one also led me to listen to Page Seven, which is celebrity gossip but honestly just really enjoyable to me. Two of the hosts from that show (Marcus is a LPOTL host as well) also do another show called Sex and Other Human Activities, which i’ve listened to a bit and enjoyed and deals with a lot of different issues - like sex, but also delving into depression and different things the hosts and their friends have gone through. but as far as non-fiction podcasts go, that’s pretty much it? i’m still planning on checking out Radio Dispatch, but that’s honestly mostly because it’s Molly (from Page Seven) and her brother and like i said, i have a problem. other podcasts i know of and have been meaning to check out: Hello From the Magic Tavern, The Adventure Zone, Pleasuretown, Lesser Gods, Tales of THATTOWN..... and ok, probably others but this has gotten excessive i am so sorry friends (some of the links may accidentally be wrong and i am very sorry)

#thimble talk #text post #long post #anon #ask #podcast rec #if i had just straight up listed them this would have been much shorter but i feel like it's necessary to let everyone know #how much i love audio drama and express my love for the creators

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