#they both seem to have some family trauma but would never admit it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

toournextadventure · 5 months

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everyone but her pt.38

Summary: You invite everyone over for a dinner and get roped into going on a hunting trip with Yoko, set up by Enid and Divina, of course. It would be nice if something went as planned for once.

Word Count: 4.5k Warnings: swearing, injury, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of trauma, hunting (not graphic), murder Pairing: Wednesday Addams x Reader (everyone but her Masterlist)

Yoko would never admit it to anyone, but you were acting a bit odd, even for you.

She didn’t know what you had been doing the other weekend when you disappeared with Wednesday. Not that she cared all that much, you and Wednesday were both odd enough that the disappearance itself was… pretty on point, actually. Sure, she had checked with Enid to make sure it was normal, but when both Enid and Divina had given her a look that said “are you serious?” she gave in.

But after that, you had both acted a bit off. You weren’t quite as outgoing as usual; she had noticed it immediately after Nicky’s death, obviously, but you would go through swings and she thought you had been getting a bit better. She wasn’t so sure anymore. Instead of teasing her and everyone else, you seemed distant. Like you weren’t entirely present with everyone.

That didn’t even touch on the moments of panic you had when you thought no one would notice. Maybe most people didn’t; Yoko had no doubt that Wednesday noticed, obviously, but who knew about the others. All Yoko knew was that at the most random times, you would freeze. Just enough for her to notice. It only took a touch and some whispered words from Wednesday for you to come back to your senses, but she noticed.

Not that she was going to mention it to you. Yoko truly considered you her best friend. There were few people she cared about more than you, and that consisted of Enid and Divina. She loved you, and seeing you so distraught over something she didn’t know about was devastating. It made her dead heart ache.

Which was precisely why she took you up on your offer of a “family” dinner with everyone.

“Please hurry,” you said when Yoko, Enid, and Divina knocked on the apartment door. “Wednesday is trying to get Bianca to fence with her in the living room.”

“I’m on it,” Enid sighed before walking past you.

“The Ambiguously Gay Duo?” Divina asked.

“They snuck some weird looking bag into my room,” you mumbled.

“I’ll make sure they don’t have shrooms,” Divina said. “Again.”

“Thank you,” you said when she walked past you, leaving you with Yoko.

Who could very well see the bags under your eyes.

“You okay?” She asked as she stepped into the apartment, keeping her eyes on you as you closed the door. “You looked tired.”

“I’m not sleeping well,” you said. “Nightmares.”

Yoko… didn’t really know what to tell you. Honestly, she had expected you to lie to her like you had been for the past few months. You would usually tell her you were fine, or tired from work, and she would press a meagre two times before accepting that you wouldn’t tell her the truth. But this… was unexpected.

“What kind?” She dared to ask.

Your hand froze on the doorknob. “Later?” You turned to look at her with those big eyes that you used to have when you were far younger. “Please?”

“Of course,” Yoko said with the best smile she could muster.

She looked around to make sure Wednesday wasn’t coming around - she didn’t want to cause her to ask questions - before pulling you into a hug. You stiffened underneath her for only a moment. Her head was tucked into your neck - you still smelled lovely - when you relaxed, wrapping your arms around her waist and holding her just as tight.

It was no surprise that Wednesday wasn’t as physical in her affections, and everyone very much respected it. Sometimes Yoko wished she would show you a little more physical affection, but it wasn’t her place. But you were acting like you hadn’t even been touched in weeks. You clung to her as if she would disappear the moment you let go.

Underneath her fingers, she could feel the raised scars littering your back. She had never gotten to see Nicky’s scars from the accident, but she had seen yours. Rough, large, scattered scars that would always serve as a reminder of the worst day of your life. It had been a while since she had remembered them; it didn’t evade her that you had to live with them.

“Come on,” you said, finally pulling away. Reluctantly, Yoko noticed. “I don’t want dinner to burn.”

“Wednesday doesn’t help?” Yoko asked, leaving a hand on your shoulder.

“Don’t talk so loud,” you said quickly, waving your hands to shush her and peeking around the corner. “She might hear you.”

“Pussy,” Yoko said as she did her best to hide her smile.

Your hand rested on the small of her back while you guided her down the short hall to the rest of the apartment. “She helps, she just doesn’t need to.”

Yoko cackled. “She’s going to kill you.”

“She can’t cook, Yoke,” you whisper-shouted before you entered the kitchen. “It’s horrifying.”

“Like I said,” Yoko whispered back. “Pussy.”

Everyone was in the living room; she was even surprised to see Joel and Ash as well. Yes, she knew Ash was with Bianca, but she also knew you considered her a mortal enemy. She supposed she owed Divina $25. Enid didn’t get anything, she had figured you would keep at least Joel out of the apartment.

Yoko was so proud of you. That was growth.

Wednesday was still facing Bianca, who was similarly holding a foil at the ready. Enid was off to the side with her head in her hands; a clear sign of failure. Not that anyone was truly surprised, if Wednesday had done what Yoko thought she had, then there would be no way Bianca would turn down the challenge. Which, judging by the look on Bianca’s face, was exactly what had happened.

Everyone watched in awe as Wednesday and Bianca started their duel. Without suits. Or helmets. Yoko turned her head to see you still finishing up dinner. Thankfully. She could only imagine the fear on your face if you saw what was currently happening in your living room. How you didn’t hear it was beyond her.

On the other hand, Joel was watching Wednesday with the most impressed look Yoko had ever personally seen on someone’s face. That was another reason it was good you were too busy cooking. The poor boy would be dead before he had a chance to realise what he did wrong.

“Done!” You said as you turned around triumphantly.

And literally shrieked when you saw Bianca best Wednesday with a point to the chest.

“One day, Addams,” Bianca said with a smile.

“Your skills are still impressive,” Wednesday said in reply. “Though I believe I could do without you “humbling me,” as Y/N says.”

“That was amazing,” Joel said, eyes wide with wonder.

“Great job, babe,” Ash said with a smile and a quick kiss pressed to Bianca’s cheek.

Yoko swore the siren blushed.

“Crisis averted,” Divina said as she literally pulled Kent and Ajax into the room by their shirt collars. “It wasn’t shrooms.”

“Can we please sit down to eat?” You asked, your voice tense and high pitched.

It didn’t take long for everyone to mumble their agreement before sitting down in one of the many seats around the table. Yoko didn’t think she had ever seen it in the apartment before. No doubt it was new; Wednesday would never willingly agree to host a dinner party.

The apartment filled with talk and laughter as everyone started eating. Conversation came easily for everyone, whether it was about gossip from Nevermore, or something to do with classes, or complaining about family. Even Wednesday chimed in, offering her opinions and thoughts. Which, to everyone’s surprise, were almost… kind. She had definitely been spending too much time with you.

“How’s Thing?” Enid asked. “He hasn’t texted me in a while.”

“His phone was confiscated,” Wednesday answered simply. “An intervention was necessary.”

“He wouldn’t quit playing Among Us,” you explained.

“I was wondering why he disappeared,” Kent mumbled.

“He was a cheater anyway,” Ajax said just as quietly.

Everyone resumed their conversations, and Yoko didn’t bother keeping track of what everyone was saying. It was too difficult, with 10 people chiming in whenever they felt necessary. Instead, Yoko kept her eye on you. You and the way your smile fell slowly until it was little more than a grimace.

With her leg pressed up against yours, she felt you start to bounce rapidly. Your eyes were squeezed shut and your nostrils flared with short, quick breaths. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do; she knew your panic attacks, but it had been a while since she had done anything to help. Was it even her place? Or was it Wednesday’s? Surely it had to be someone, right?

It was. She did her best not to stare, but out of the corner of her eye she saw Wednesday lean closer. Not enough for everyone else to notice, especially if they weren’t paying attention. But she was close enough, and her lips were moving near your ear, and slowly your leg stopped bouncing and your eyes opened.

Yoko had vastly underestimated Wednesday. She was aware that the goth girl was good for you, there was no good in even trying to deny it. But she hadn’t thought Wednesday would ever truly learn what you needed or what was best for you. Not for lack of trying, but it wasn’t an easy thing to do. You had problems, you had trauma, you had so many things that worried and concerned you. As much as she loved you, she knew you weren’t easy to be with romantically.

And yet, there Wednesday was, easing you down from a panic attack and proving her wrong yet again. She had never been more pleasantly surprised to be wrong.

“Yoko, you’re hunting in a few nights, aren’t you?” Divina asked, pulling Yoko out of her thoughts.

“Yeah,” she said with a nod. “Why?”

“I’ll go with you,” you said as if you hadn’t just been pulled from a panic attack.

“You sure?” She asked.

“Yeah,” you shrugged. “I can get Alex and Grandpa a bit more too, they’re always running low.”

Yoko thought about it for a moment. It wouldn’t really be the worst thing in the world. She hadn’t hunted with you in years, probably since before the accident. You had always been rather good at it, probably better than she ever had been. Which was insulting, but she would keep her mouth shut.

“I guess it can’t hurt,” Yoko finally said.

Enid gave Divina a high-five. “Yay.”

She started to think her girlfriends had staged this hunting trip, the sneaky little bitches. Oh how she loved them.

—---

The night was perfect for a hunt, Yoko thought. She followed behind you as you stalked through the densely packed forest. The nearly full moon shone beautifully through the trees, illuminating the space around you. There was still plenty of time before the sun was supposed to rise, which left ample time to find what you had both ventured to find.

In a hilarious twist, you had borrowed Yoko’s sunglasses to keep the animals from spotting your bioluminescent eyes.

“How many tags do you have?” You asked; your voice would have been inaudible to anyone without heightened senses.

“Six left,” Yoko answered with the same volume. “Should last until the next replenish date.”

“Mind if I snag one for Alex?” You asked. “I’ll give you one of his after I visit them next.”

Yoko mumbled an agreement. Your love towards your siblings had grown more harsh since Nicky. Not in terms of you being mean to them, hell no. She was convinced you would die if you were ever mean to them. But you didn’t go about things as sweetly as you used to. Now it was “I have to do this” instead of “I want to do this.” Your love was cold, but it was still love, and you made sure everyone knew it.

The forest was quiet as you both continued to walk. Each step was taken with careful consideration, leaving as little space for detection as possible. Yoko absolutely loved hunting with you. Thanks to your time with your Grandpa, you knew how important silence was. And after plenty of practice, you were the perfect partner to go with.

“To the left,” you said, gesturing your head in the proper direction. “Yes or no?”

She looked where you were pointing to see a single buck standing in a small clearing. He wasn’t the biggest she had ever seen, but he wasn’t weak by any means. His antlers were fairly large, a bit unsymmetrical, but they would have taken a decent amount of blood to grow.

But was he really worth a tag?

“Keep going,” Yoko said after a bit of consideration. “We can find better.”

“Then let’s go,” you said.

You hoisted the gun higher up on your shoulder and kept trudging through the forest ahead. If it hadn’t been for the glasses, you would have looked like a professional. For the first time in a while - at least to Yoko’s knowledge - your wings were out and free. As free as the birds that nested above your heads.

“Can I ask you something?” You asked, not even bothering to turn around.

“Sure,” Yoko said. Your voices were still so quiet they didn’t even echo.

“Did Nicky ever tell you anything about Casey and Devan?” You asked.

Yoko nearly stumbled. “No,” she said, “at least not that I can remember.”

“Don’t you think that’s weird?” You asked. There was a lilt in your tone that she couldn’t quite pick up on.

“I wasn’t his keeper,” she said with a shrug that you didn’t see. “He didn’t tell me anything about them.”

“Isn’t that weird though?” You kept going. “Like, they’re supposedly his loves and no one knew about them?” The smallest twig broke under your feet. “Not you, not me, not anyone, as far as I can tell.”

Yoko kept quiet, pondering the train of thought you were verbalising. She supposed it was a bit unusual. Though, there hadn’t really been any occasion to talk about significant others during school. Nicky had always been more focused on you and trying to keep you from remembering the neglect. That was a full time job in and of itself. If he kept one little secret to himself, one source of happiness, she supposed she couldn’t blame him.

“To the right,” you said, pulling Yoko from her thoughts. “Yes?”

She barely had to see the oversized buck before mumbling a rushed “yes.” You nodded once before lifting the rifle that she hadn’t seen you pull from your shoulder. It was humiliating, but she turned her head before you pulled the trigger. She may have needed blood, but that didn’t mean she enjoyed the process.

“Perfect,” you said a little louder. Almost enough for a normal person to hear. “Excellent tag usage, Yoke.”

“Just get it over with,” she said. She refused to turn around until you were done.

“Pussy,” you said with a teasing tone.

She liked hearing you tease again, even if it was at her expense. You had gotten far too serious, and not in a good way. Yoko couldn’t even blame Wednesday for it, because she had even started to lighten up! It wasn’t your fault, anyone would have broken under all the stress of your life, but she didn’t like it.

“Done,” you said, popping up beside her. Thankfully, she kept her cool.

“Then let’s go,” she said, “I want to get this over with.”

“You make such a bad vampire,” you teased. You weren’t sneaking the way you had been earlier; it must have been a good buck. “How did you survive before me?”

“Easily,” she answered instantly.

You laughed lightly but kept walking. “We may as well head back,” you said.

“Why?” Yoko asked. “We only used one tag.”

“Anything nearby would’ve run at the sound,” you said. You turned around with a sheepish smile. “My bad.”

“It still works,” she said as she patted you on the shoulder and gave you a smile. “Let’s go.”

With no need to be quiet any longer, you both started walking normally. Which was wonderful, because sneaking was hard on the knees. She may not have been as old as most, but that didn’t mean her knees didn’t hurt. It was just part of growing up, everyone knew that-

-something creaked behind you both.

“Hang on,” Yoko said, reaching out to grab your shoulder. You nearly fell backwards as your feet kept moving but your top half stayed still.

“What?” You asked.

“Did you hear that?” She asked, her voice lowering again so only you could hear.

You straightened up and looked around, even daring to take your glasses off. The glow of your eyes would surely scare someone away; at least it usually did. Her ears were stilled trained for any sort of sound that would indicate something coming close.

Or someone, though she didn’t think that was possible. You were both deep in the woods, how was someone supposed to trek around and find you both? It was still deep in winter, and though there wasn’t snow on the ground, no one would even want to be out if they didn’t have to. Hunting season was over, holidays were over, and everyone should be nice and cosy in their beds at home.

Something loud thumped to the ground.

Again.

“Yoko?” You said. It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah?�� She answered. Her eyes zoned in on your paling knuckles as you tightened your grip on the rifle.

Another thud.

“Run.”

Yoko barely watched you lift the rifle before she turned around and started running. Oh Wednesday was going to kill her! A shot rang out behind her, and her hands flew to her head. Oh, Wednesday wasn’t going to kill her because something else was!

A soul shaking sound echoed around her.

Something hit Yoko’s back.

Everything had gone dark before she even hit the ground.

—---

Yoko’s eyes burned.

She tried to sit up and stopped. Scratch that; everything hurt. Her back felt like Enid had scratched the hell out of it, leaving it sore and stiff and throbbing. A spot above her eye burned nearly as bad as her eyes, which were still squeezed shut. And none of that even included the killer migraine that felt like someone was trying to claw their way out of her skull.

She was never going hunting with you ever again.

The sun was out; that much was clear. Without her glasses she wouldn’t be able to see hardly anything. Her hand lifted to shield her eyes, and though it still burned when she looked around, at least she could see. That was a start. A mediocre one, but she supposed beggars couldn’t be choosers.

“Y/N?” She called out, her voice raspy and painful. It was like she was looking through a haze. If you were anywhere near, she couldn’t see you.

A groan came from her right, and she didn’t even hesitate. She took off in that direction, taking long blinks to ease the burning as much as possible. Her back burned with each step, and even her knee started to throb, but she wouldn’t stop. If there was any chance you were nearby, she needed to find you.

“Fuck,” you mumbled, and Yoko finally got close enough to see you leaning against a tree, wings outstretched and… brown?

“Are you okay?” Yoko asked. She kneeled down beside you to check you over. Her glasses were still hanging from your shirt; she carefully took them back and put them on. It was like an instant flood of relief.

“I feel like I got run over by a truck,” you grumbled; you still hadn’t opened your eyes. “And I’ve got the worst hangover in the world.”

“Not a hangover,” she said. Thankfully, aside from some missing feathers and a swollen wrist, you seemed to be okay. “But you might be right about the truck.”

“Do I still have the blood?” You asked.

Yoko froze. “Your blood?”

“No, dumbass,” you said, finally opening your eyes. Slowly, but still. “The blood.” She didn’t answer. “The one thing we came here for.”

“Are you serious?” She asked as she stood up, leaving you leaning against the tree. “Wednesday is going to kill me and you’re worried about blood?”

You groaned as you pushed yourself up to your feet. “Yes, Yoko, because if I’m going to get hurt then at least it’s worth it.”

“I hate you so much,” she mumbled to herself.

You stretched your arms high above your head, and Yoko could hear the pops coming from your joints. The noise you let out was ungodly, and she wondered if Wednesday had heard it yet. Usually you kept your stretching noise reserved for private, but you did love Wednesday so. Maybe.

You two were so disgusting.

“We need to get back,” she said. “I can’t have Wednesday kill me for getting you hurt and kidnapping you.”

“So you admit this is your fault?” You asked.

She dignified your question with a slap to your stomach. You doubled over and mumbled a few “fucks,” but then stood back up as if nothing had happened. Good for you.

“Let’s go, bloodsucker,” you said. “If Wednesday will kill you, Enid and Divina will bury me.”

“Lead the way, bird brain,” Yoko shot back, entirely fed up with you already.

She wasn’t going to comment on the fact that you grabbed her hand and pulled her along with you. Especially when it meant she didn’t have to walk alone through the woods, going in a direction that might not guarantee getting back to the apartments.

And maybe it helped that she could use you to help ease the limp from her ever-increasing aching knee.

“What’s your problem?” You asked after a few minutes of walking.

“My knee hurts,” Yoko admitted.

She really shouldn’t have.

“Poor baby,” you teased, “want me to carry you?”

“Touch me and I’ll bite your head off,” she answered instantly.

You hesitated. “That’s kinda kinky.”

“Oh my god shut up,” Yoko sighed. “You’ve been spending too much time with Wednesday.”

“Well she is my girlfriend-”

“-Just get us out of here,” she cut you off, wanting nothing more than to just get back, take a shower, and take a long, long nap.

You were both still walking when the sun finally finished peaking above the horizon. That meant the air would start to heat up and Yoko could finally ease some warmth into her stiff fingers. She may not have had blood circulation but that didn’t mean she enjoyed the outside cold-

“-Holy shit.”

Yoko ran into your back - or rather, your wings - and sputtered a few feathers out of her mouth. She nearly scolded you, asking you why you were stopping when you were (hopefully) so close to civilization, but she followed your line of sight and froze. And not from the winter air.

“Oh fuck,” she whispered.

A mangled body was leaning against a tree, similar to how you had been when Yoko had found you. The only difference was, while your wings had been outstretched, his arms were stretched in the same way. His clothes were tattered and hanging off a decomposing frame.

And he was missing a foot.

“That’s Shaun,” you said softly.

Oh fuck.

“We should call the cops,” Yoko said when you either wouldn’t or couldn’t move.

“We can’t,” you said with a shake of your head.

“It’s a dead body, yes we-”

“-They already think I did it,” you interrupted her, finally turning your body to face her. There was a look on your face that she hadn’t seen since Nicky. A look of pure fear.

“Something happened to us too,” Yoko said, “maybe that’s reason enough to believe we’re innocent.”

You shook your head slowly and looked back at the body. “I can’t go to jail again,” you whispered.

Yoko stood there, looking between you and the body that she was starting to smell. She didn’t know what to do. On the one hand, the police needed to know there was a body in the woods. Especially one they had been looking for for a few weeks at that point.

On the other hand, she couldn’t bear to see you arrested again. Especially for something she knew you hadn’t ever done before.

“Did he have any family?” She finally asked.

You shook your head. “No.”

“Well,” she sighed, “then I guess it’ll die out.” You blinked, long and hard. “We can come back and bury him later.”

You still didn’t move, but at least you opened your eyes. If Yoko was to put a word to it, she would almost say you were the true definition of catatonic. She squeezed your hand once before pulling you with her, leading you in the (hopefully) right direction. The best thing to do would be to get home. Everything else could be discussed later.

There was nothing she could say to bring you out of your thoughts. You weren’t in the middle of a panic attack, you were just… gone. It was evident in the glazed over look in your eyes and the way your hand rested limply in hers. She couldn’t imagine what it must be like to be the subject of just near every nearby murder for the past two years.

Maybe she just needed to get you back to Wednesday; she would know what to do. The past four years had done nothing but prove her loyalty to you, even though Yoko had been worried about it at the start. But time and time again, she had been proven wrong, and she knew the Addams girl - and her family - would take good care of you if given the chance-

-Yoko froze.

She felt you bump into her back, almost the same situation as when you found your therapist. Except this time, you still gasped first. Pools of mostly-frozen blood littered the ground, looking like crystals in the morning sun. Following the trail, she felt her dead heart beat painfully in her chest.

“That’s Joel,” she said.

“And Ash,” you continued, dropping her hand instantly and rushing forward.

She was quick behind you, going to check on Joel while you practically fell to your knees next to Ash. Their blood smelled slightly bitter, indicating they had been out there for at least a few hours. The only good sign was she could still hear their pulses. Faintly, but they were present.

“Call 911,” Yoko said.

Your hands were still hovering over Ash, attempting to find the best place to put pressure. You finally settled on a gash on her shoulder, and you pressed down as hard as possible. The smallest whine fell from Ash’s dried and cracked lips. Another good sign, in a way.

But you still weren’t listening.

“Y/N.”

Your head snapped up. There were tears in your eyes and your bottom lip shook.

“I’m calling 911.”

You looked at her hard before looking back down at Ash.

You didn’t stop her from pulling out her phone and dialling the number.

#wednesday addams x reader #wednesday x reader #wednesday addams imagine #wednesday imagine #jenna ortega x reader #everyone but her au

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wardenparker · 6 months

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Vampire Waltz - ch 8

Max Phillips x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

A mysterious inheritance, sprawling mansion, eccentric roommates, friendly bat, and coven of New England witches are the newest chapter of your life after being unceremoniously dumped and kicked out by your boyfriend. For Max, the biggest change in his life is you, and what exactly he's going to do about the fact that he is stuck living with you as long as his sire continues to punish him for that incident at his last office...

Rating: E for Explicit! 18+ Word Count: 16.9k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this series: deceased parents, cursing, food, blood and blood drinking, depictions and references to abusive relationships. Anxiety and trauma responses. Self-worth issues.* Thigh grinding/frottage, dirty talk, content is sexy. Gaslighting, panic attack, meltdown, trauma responses, family secrets. Summary: While the night after your date is unexpectedly wonderful, an unexpected visitor ruins a lot more than just your morning. And from there things seem to be getting more complicated before they can get better. Notes: As usual, I apologize for any errors that I might have missed. There is a LOT happening in this chapter. Right from the top there is a lot to digest, and there are some big BIG things happening as the plot ramps up! This chapter, I present to you: the Green Salon 💚

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7

Your fingers grip his shoulder the moment his lips meet yours, with sparks igniting under your fingertips and behind your eyes as soon as they fall shut. It feels like the ultimate irony, as one seemingly small kiss from a vampire breathes life into you in a way you can't describe but has you pressing closer in his arms and silently begging for more.

Max kept it light on purpose, knowing that you might push him away after the first press of his lips, but he can’t help the warmth that spreads through his body. The flash of rioting sensations as the loud, hard pound of his heart seems to echo in his chest. A heartbeat. That seeming myth where his dormant muscle springs to life and makes him gasp into your mouth.

The sharp, unexpected reaction from him has you feeling backward and breaking the kiss, searching his face for what went wrong. “Are you—I mean, did you not—?” You ask, brow furrowed in concern. “Are you okay?”

Max’s eyes are wide, glazed over and nearly black with surprise and desire mixed together. “It’s true.” He rushes out, almost breathless even though he has no need to draw breath. “The myth, I felt it. Queenie, my heart thumped.” It’s hard to explain how that could feel to a vampire, but it was blissful. Like being reconnected to an old memory.

“I—it beat?” Your eyes flick down to his chest immediately as though you could see it but what you truly want is to feel it.

“It did.” He practically giggles the confirmation, feeling like he’s going to vibrate out of his skin. Do all soulmate kisses feel this way? “I thought it was bullshit, but it’s true.”

“Do you want to see if it will happen again?” As overjoyed as he is at the sensation, you will admit…maybe that heartbeat that he felt was the one that your heart skipped.

“If it happens again, I can see kissing you every chance I get.” He admits with a small grin.

“Then I hope it happens again.” Because you dearly want to kiss him again, feeling a wave of bliss and relaxation flood your body at the reality of your soulmate being the one to share these moments with you now.

“Let’s find out, shall we?” Max asks as he leans in again. Anticipating that thump and at the last second, he grabs your hand and puts it over his heart.

This time you’re the one who gasps, practically jumping out of the bed when you feel the startlingly solid pump of that long-disused muscle in Max’s chest.

He laughs when your lips break apart from his, eyes nearly sparkling with joy. “I never—” he laughs again. “I never thought I would ever feel that again.”

“That’s incredible.” Both of you are staring at each other with wide eyes, shocked to the point of nearly giggling. “That’s absolutely incredible!”

“I don’t know— I can’t believe it was true.” He reaches out and cups your cheek. “You’re amazing.” He gushes. “You literally make my heart pound.”

“That’s not me,” you remind him sheepishly, feeling the praise is far too much for little, lowly you. “That’s just the soulmate connection.”

“It is you.” He insists. “You are my soulmate, so it’s you doing this.”

“It’s both of us.” The last thing you want is for him to get upset for any reason, so you’ll give an inch rather than anyone having to go a mile. Besides, you would do anything to keep that smile on his face. “And it seems like…It happens every time?”

“I think it does.” Max admits, caressing your cheek. “It wouldn’t be a bad thing at all. Could get addicted to kissing you without that perk.”

“Yeah?” It would upset him to hear but you would have understood if that was the only reason he enjoyed kissing you. To hear that it’s not is almost a miracle.

“Yeah.” He brushes his nose against yours and barely brushes his lips against yours. The thud isn’t huge, but he feels his heart jolt slightly. “But I want to make sure you’re addicted too.”

“That really isn’t something you have to worry about.” The second he was pressed against you, you knew that you never wanted to be anywhere else again.

“Why is that?” He asks, deciding to kiss along your jaw to see if it has the same effect.

Whether or not it’s making his heart beat, yours is skittering out of time as his mouth makes its way across your skin. “Because—” You shiver when he presses a kiss over your pulse and swallow a ragged breath. “I already am.”

“Yeah?” He grins against your skin and growls slightly. “So glad to hear that, Queenie.”

“Gods—why is that so sexy?” Overwhelmed by the feeling of him half covering you and drowning in the sensations of desire and pleasure, the question just slips out with no filter at all. Your mind is far too concentrated on mapping the contours of his arms, back, and shoulders to even think about what you’re saying.

“Primal reaction.” He grunts, enjoying the way you are melting against him. “If I scrape my fangs over your pulse, you’ll shiver and your little pussy will clench in reactive fear that your body perceives as pleasure. Tickles that cavewoman instinct to be with the strongest.”

“I guess I’m a cavewoman, then.” You know he would never put you in danger. You’ve talked about it very seriously. He would never drink from you or anything like that without another long discussion and explicit, enthusiastic consent. But…he does have a point. The animalistic side of you knows that he is much stronger and much more capable than any human man.

“Rawr.” He teases playfully, grinning at you.

His playful side is so carefully hidden from the rest of the world that you can’t help the way it makes the smile spread wide on your face when he shows it to just you. As if you were as much a safe haven for him as he is becoming for you. “You’re…” One of your hands drifts along his shoulder, fingers stretching to glide over his jaw, and you giggle softly in the dim light of your room. “You’re amazing. I hope you know that.”

“Long as you think so.” He doesn’t think so, despite his outward personality. “All that matters.” His lips touch every bit of skin you show him. Careful not to go beneath your clothes but he maps every inch.

It feels worshipful, and Max never pushes. He never takes advantage of your clothes shifting or lets his hands wander anywhere salacious. He is the picture of a gentleman as the two of you lay side-by-side tasting and touching every visible inch of each other.

He’s never spent much time making out. Most of the time it progresses on to other things, but he wants to take his time. You trust him and he doesn’t want to betray that.

If you were even the least bit tired before, you certainly aren’t now. Right now you’re aching. Doing everything you can not to writhe beside him as your body clearly wants to take things further but your mind just isn’t ready for the utter vulnerability that is sex. You have been just as careful to keep your hands in respectable place as he has, but your breathing has gone shallow and your heart beat has sped up, setting your entire body on fire.

“It’s okay.” Max croons. “I know what you need. Just let me make you feel good.” He doesn’t do anything more than shift a knee between your legs, pressing it down into the mattress and lets it anchor you to him more. You can grind down on him if you want, or ignore it. It’s up to you as he slowly kisses at your pulse again and again.

The unholy whimper that that draws from you is so much louder than you had anticipated, and you would be embarrassed if you weren’t so distracted by how perfect the pressure now is. His broad, muscled body looms over you like living protective armor and your hands shift when he moves so that one of them slips under his shirt by accident. A breathless apology comes right before your thighs clench down on his leg, and you instinctually shiver again at how good it feels.

“You can touch me, sweetheart.” He promises, growling again at how hot your hand is on his skin. “You can do whatever you want to me, with me. You tell me what you want.” Max has never been this selfless, but there’s something about you that makes him want to protect you - even from himself - while simultaneously giving you everything that you need.

“Want to make you feel good.” Without the pressure of demand for your attention, there is nothing more that you want than to give it freely to someone who cares about you. Who is sweet to you. Who values who you are, not what you can provide to him.

“Feel amazing, so….mission accomplished.” He chuckles against your throat and bites at it playfully, making sure that his fangs aren’t exposed. “Never felt this good before.”

“Can I…?” The question drifts off even though your fingers fumble with the hem of his shirt eagerly.

“You want my shirt off, sweetheart?” He pulls back to look into your eyes. Wanting to see them. “Or do you just want to touch me under it?”

“Can I take it off?” Surprised at your own boldness, you swallow again and try to catch a deep breath. But that’s very hard to do with his knee pressed determinedly against your throbbing pussy.

“Of course you can.” His grin is positively wicked and he eagerly allows you to pull the worn, soft fabric up and over his head. Hovering over you as it drags down his arms, and he hooks it out of your hand and tosses it aside onto the floor to be forgotten.

For a few long seconds it feels like all you can do is stare. He is sculpted like a statue and you can’t imagine how soulmates are assigned but in this moment you’re absolutely certain that there must be some kind of rule about physical attractiveness. Otherwise you can’t possibly fathom how you got a soulmate who is so fucking hot. “Fuck…” Even just one word, breathed out in disbelief, perfectly encapsulates how you feel right now.

“Not tonight, sweetheart.” He teases you with a wink. “If I give it up too soon, you might not respect me.”

“S’not what I meant,” you grumble, tentatively running one hand down the length of his chest and torso, noting every muscle along the way and the softness that guards them beneath his skin. “Just…can’t believe you’re actually real.”

“I know.” He feels bad for teasing you, shuddering at the way your hand caresses him. “I’m real, Queenie. All yours too.”

“That’s the most unbelievable part.” But the reassurance flips some sort of switch inside you, and you surge up to kiss him again with such ferocity that it drives your core down against his leg and you moan as his tongue licks into your mouth with the open, panting kiss.

When you take charge of the kiss, his heart gallops in his chest. Seemingly knocking against his ribs as he gives it back, his tongue starting to map your mouth while your hands trace the lines of his back.

The overwhelming combination of sensations is going to make you short circuit before long, you can feel it. The angle his thigh is at between yours is pressing the seam of your yoga pants against your clit and probably making it completely obvious how wet you are for him, but you can’t bring yourself to even feel the least bit bad about it. This is exactly what you didn’t know you wanted tonight and you’re never going to forget a second of it.

“It’s so good, sweetheart.” He groans, kissing down your jaw again. “So damn sweet for me. So sweet. Rub that little pussy against my thigh, baby.”

“Gods.” Another moan escapes you, muted as you gulp down air in heavy gasps. “Should‘be known you’d have a filthy mouth.”

“Of course I have a filthy mouth.” He hums. “As long as you like it.”

“It’s—” With a mind of their own, your hips roll downward and make you gasp in pleasure. “It’s brand new to me,” you admit, fingers digging into his side to hold him close. “But I like it.”

“I say anything you don’t like, you just tell me, sweetheart.” He tells you.

“I promise.” For now your entire mind is focused on the blinding pleasure building between your legs and wondering if you should try to reciprocate during or after.

“Thought about how you would taste like.” He confess as his tongue pulls back from your pulse. “But you’re so much sweeter. Making me wonder how you taste everywhere.”

“You—” Feeling like a deer caught in particularly strong headlights when you reel back to look up at him in surprise. “You…like…doing that?”

He smirks, looking up and you with a salacious wink. “Sweetheart, pussy is raw.” He reminds you playfully. “Anytime, I’ll bury my tongue inside you. Especially during that time. Love it.”

“I never even thought of that.” And now you feel like an utter idiot for not having it occur to you right away.

“Why would you think like that?” He asks, leaning in and pressing his lips against yours again and pressing his thigh against your clit harder.

“Can’t think at all right now,” you admit, letting the next moan he rips out of you roll through your body like a tidal wave.

“Good.” He chuckles, the sound filthy. “You’re in good hands. I’ll take care of you.”

As much as you may have doubted plenty of other things in your life, you haven’t had any reason to doubt that, and you tip your head to one side to let him explore as far down your neck as he can. “I’ll return the favor,” you promise him readily, knowing that he’s been fully hard in those sweatpants for ages now.

“Don’t worry about that.” The last thing he wants is for you to feel pressured to reciprocate anything. This is about wanting to touch you, make you feel good. It’s not a tit for tat situation. He nibbles on your collarbone and rolls his leg forward again.

“But—” The rest of your thought get washed away on a gasp and your hands squeeze his sides again as you shiver. If he keeps that up, it really won’t take long at all before you fall apart.

“That’s it, that’s it, sweetheart.” He urges you, smirking when he can feel your entire body start to tense up. “Cum for me.”

Taking his encouragement as permission, your hips roll as if they have a mind of their own, and moments later you fingernails are digging into his shoulder blades while you desperately try to stifle what would otherwise be a very loud moan. You know your yoga pants are soaked the second you start to cum, and that he’ll be able to feel the sticky heat through his sweatpants as well, but you just can’t bring yourself to care. Not when he can make you feel this good without even using his hands.

Max is throbbing with need. Very aware that his cock has soaked the front of his sweats, but he ignores that. Too focused on the feeling of your entire body stiffening under him and the sound of your pulse pounding like your heart is going to beat out of your chest as you give him the sweetest cry.

“So I can start your heart, and you can stop mine,” you huff, working to get your breath back when the starbursts stop exploded behind your eyes and you can open them again to find him smiling down at you.

“Looks like.” He teases drolly, thoroughly amused by the breathless, blissful expression on your face. Dropping down to one elbow to press his lips to yours in the softest of kisses.

“And you’re sure you don’t want me to…?” You can feel him throb heavily against your hip, but you’re going to respect him like he respects you. No means no, if that is what he decides.

“I’m good, I promise.” He nudges his nose against yours too. “This was for you, sweetheart.” It’s not that he doesn’t want you to touch him, but he doesn’t want you to feel like you have to. “We’ll get there, I know we will.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Stealing a kiss from Max’s lips is just about the sweetest feeling in the world, and your hands graze softly over his back as you nuzzle into his side.

After he had rolled to his side, he had opened his arms for you to curl into him. Loving how easily you do. His arm folds around you and he hums with absolute pleasure as your chest presses to his bare one and he can feel your heartbeat on his body.

“I can’t believe you’re real.” You murmur again, this time at a whisper as you place a kiss over his heart.

“I can’t believe you are here.” He confesses softly, holding you securely against his body. The hour is late and he can feel the exhaustion starting to settle in your bones after the adrenaline starts to wear off. “Close your eyes, sweetheart. I’ll keep you safe while you sleep.”

******

Dreams are frequent and fast that night, though nothing unsettles or worries you. Not even an anxiety dream about Max not being there in the morning, as if even your unsteady subconscious could fathom the thought. There is no knock from Renee like usual, no tray brought up so you can laze through a formal breakfast with your undead housemates. What wakes you instead is the sun, and right afterward the soft brush of Max’s knuckles on your shoulder.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Even though he had not fallen asleep, his voice is still a little raspy from disuse. Watching you slowly start to rise from your slumber is a privilege and he wonders if you realize how gorgeous you are sleep tousled.

“Morning.” A small stretch doesn’t take you from his arms, which is good because that’s exactly where you want to stay. Instead you peak up at him from between your lashes and grin. He obviously hasn’t slept, but that doesn’t keep him from looking every bit as handsome as ever. Instead of saying that, though, you reach up to scratch at the base of his scalp and murmur, “Cutie,” as though it were the highest compliment on earth.

“Yeah?” He nearly purrs as he feels your fingers scratch against his scalp. “I try my best.”

“Did you watch me sleep for long?” There is no way he could have gotten out of bed and gotten back in this same position, so you can only assume that he watched you sleep or read one of the books on your side table.

“All night.” He admits with a grin, cracking one eye open at you. “Although we don’t sleep, we do rest. I feel like I’m the most well rested vampire on the planet.”

“I’m very glad to hear it.” Stretching again, you smother a yawn and make sure to keep your morning breath away from his keen sense of smell. “How long until you have to leave for work?”

“Decided to take the day off.” He admits with a less than guilty shrug. “I have PTO they’ve been wanting me to take.”

That makes you sit up, eyes widening in surprise. “You took a day off?” A perpetual workaholic, you’ve never see Max go a single day without putting in at least a few hours’ work. Even when it was just reading up on clients in the library at home.

“Should I not have?” He asks with a small frown. He had thought you would enjoy the gesture, but maybe you had plans.

“No, I’m just surprised.” Instinctively, you lean in to smooth the crease out of his forehead with a kiss. “I was going to have brunch with Allison today, but that was the only thing I had planned.”

“Go to brunch.” He insists immediately. “Don’t let me interrupt your plans. I don’t want to do that. I just—” Honestly he doesn’t know why he chose to take today off, but he felt like he should. Like something was compelling him to stay close.

“She was just going to come to the house,” you tell him quickly, not wanting him to feel like he made a bad decision by staying home. “For that matter, she’s probably still in Eddie’s room. We didn’t have any grand plans. Just Mrs. Taylor’s amazing cooking.”

“In your little tea house?” He smirks slightly, knowing how much you love that little room. Even though it might be a little chilly today, it would still be lovely. “I can start the fire if you want.” He offers. “Warm it up.”

“Setting a fire for me is very primal provider of you.” A small giggle escapes. You feel so relaxed this morning that you could practically fly. “Trying to scratch that cavewoman instinct again?”

“Trying to make sure my soulmate is nice and warm.” He hums, winking at you. “I like curling into your warmth, sweetheart.”

“Ah, so it’s a purely selfish gesture?” Teasing him this morning is so easy, and you laugh before leaning in again to kiss his cheek. “I’m sure you’ll be able to hear everything we say even from inside the house, but I will be giggling about last night the whole time.”

“You know…” he leans in and kisses your nose playfully. “I only want to hear good things. But I was thinking about your tea house.”

“What about it?” He knows how much you love spending time out there. And how you have adopted it as your own sort of outdoor sitting room. As soon as Eddie had helped you furnish it to your own taste, it became one of your favourite places.

“What if we have that stove taken out, and a fireplace put in?” He ask seriously, wondering what you think about that. “That way you could have a cozy fire, do witchy things if you wanted. Give it that…vibe.”

“Do you think that could even be done?” Not really knowing much about construction or how home improvements get done, it hadn’t occurred to you to remodel at any point. But the idea of a fireplace in your little hideaway sounds positively witchy and fantastic.

“Absolutely.” He has already run it by Mr. Taylor to be certain, and had been reassured that the modification could actually be done rather easily. “The wall with the stove could be a stone hearth. As big or as small as you could wish.” There’s already a fireplace in your bedroom and he nods towards it. “Something like that, or something from a medieval cottage with a bubbling cauldron.”

“I think medieval cottage with a cauldron is on the same spectrum as goth Disney Princess, isn’t it?” He is so utterly sweet, and so tentative, you burrow into his side again instead of getting up like you were starting to. “You really are wonderful, you know. Even if you don’t believe me yet.”

He doesn’t believe you, because he’s not wonderful. He’s selfish and a prick. “You wouldn’t think so if you had met me before.” He admits quietly. The Max he had been when he was trying to get revenge on Evan would have repulsed you, and he doesn’t even know if he would have cared back then. Eddie’s influence, being here, has changed him more than he had originally believed.

“Then maybe it’s okay that we didn’t meet until now.” The lives that you’ve led in the last ten years have made you into drastically different people than you were in college. You know that. He knows that, too. “Maybe the people we were then would have fallen in love just fine. But the people we are now…” Realizing what you just said, and how easily you said it, your mouth clamps shut out of fear and you sink back down under the mattress without another word or even sound coming out of your mouth. You definitely should not have phrased it like that…

“But the people we are now might have needed a little push?” He asks, completing the statement to what his own thoughts were. “I think you’re right, Queenie.”

“Right.” You were going to say that the people you are now seem to be doing just fine on your own, but he seems to think that it wasn’t as easy as all that, and you’re glad that you hit your big, stupid mouth in time. Don’t rush. No pressure. You remind yourself of the mantra in your head with an internal sigh. “I…um…I should shower.”

“Wait….” He can sense he said something wrong, or maybe you aren’t on the same page. “You don’t think so?” He asks quietly. “I think this has been a little push for us. Pushing us together in this house. He planned it. He had to have.”

“I still don’t really know who he is.” Everyone talks about Max’s sire like he’s some sort of mysterious Old God or something and you don’t know what to make of it. “I’m just glad you don’t hate me. Whatever else is going on, I’m glad we’re getting along and that…that last night was as wonderful as it was.”

“I don’t think I could ever hate you.” He frowns at the mere thought and his hold on you reflexively tightens on your body. “Never.”

“I don’t think I could ever hate you, either.” Despite whatever he might think.

“Good.” He will accept that. “Now, do you still want to shower?”

“I do. I mean…I should.” After all, you did fall asleep without cleaning yourself up last night. You’re sure you still smell like sex.

“Orrrrrr.” Max pokes his lower lip out and pouts slightly. “We could pretend it’s still dark outside.”

“Did you have something in mind?” His arms are tight around you and there isn’t necessarily any reason to get up yet. After all, the clock on the mantle only reads nine in the morning.

“Just….enjoying holding you. But you might be hungry.” He realizes. “Are you hungry?”

He looks so sweetly earnest this morning and your stomach isn’t rumbling yet, so you offer him a smile. “I could be persuaded to exist on kisses if you don’t mind letting me up to brush my teeth.”

“Do you want me to brush my teeth too?” He asks with a smirk as you cover your mouth as if the smell would offend him.

“Only if you want to.” As much as you duck out of sight, his smile makes you smile, too. “I know your sense of smell is stronger than mine. It doesn’t bother me at all but I thought it would bother you.”

“What, naaaaaahhhhhh.” He tuts, shaking his head. “That doesn’t bother me either. You don’t have to move a muscle if you don’t want to.”

“So…can I kiss you good morning, then?”

“Anytime you want.” Max promises, crossing an ‘X’ over his heart.

“Even at four in the afternoon?” Somehow you can’t resist teasing him today, even as you’re leaning in to softly press your lips to his.

“If that’s what time you want a good morning kiss.” He chuckles. “But then that means you are worn out from the night before.”

“Very worn out.” And after just what you got up to on your first night, you won’t be surprised at all when that time comes. The polite knock on your bedroom door interrupts what was about to be another giggling kiss, and you pause in confusion before realizing it must just be Renee coming to wake you up. “Come in.”

Mrs. Taylor is the one that opens the door, poking her head in with an annoyed frown on her face. “Ms. Dolly, I hate to interrupt, but there is a person at the door who is insisting to speak with you.”

“A person?” A part of you feels like you ought to spring away from Max’s side the second the door is opened, but you resist. This is both of your home, you’re consenting adults, and you’re soulmates for crying out loud. Besides which, the only clothing that came off last night was Max’s shirt, so you’re still perfectly decent. “Alright, um…I’ll only need a minute to get dressed.”

Max doesn’t like the unhappy look on the housekeeper’s face. “I’ll get dressed too.” He insists before he finally lets go of you. He had been too focused on you to hear any commotion but he was fairly certain she would send away any unexpected visitors, so if this person is insisting, it’s not good.

About to say that he doesn't need to trouble himself, you see the resolved expression on Max's face and nod. "We'll be down in a minute, Mrs. Taylor." You tell the housekeeper instead, figuring that whatever it is, it will be quick. It's probably someone about the masquerade, or asking donations for something. With a big, busy house like this, anybody would be right to assume that you have a bit of money to donate to a good cause. "I will show them to the Green Salon." Mrs. Taylor nods and shuts the door behind her, not liking the situation one bit.

The Green Salon. Max arches a brow, aware that the Green Salon was the most imposing of the day rooms. Meant to intimidate. Whoever this is, isn’t a friend.

"I feel like I should dress up and I don't really know why?" Something about Mrs. Taylor's tone makes you feel like this is a big deal. Or at least not casual.

“Sometimes what you wear is a defense mechanism.” Max understand that completely. That’s what his suits are. “Wear the outfit that makes you feel the most powerful, Queenie.” He urges you. “Live up to that nickname.”

"Go put on your favourite suit, then." If he wants you to play that part, you'll need him by your side for support. "I'll find something that you can be proud to have me stand next to you in."

“I’d be proud to stand beside you in what you’re in right now.” He promises. “Queen Beth wore a bathrobe, and did it royally.” He jokes, winking at you. “I’ll be back in a flash.”

It takes you just a few minutes to throw on a respectable sweater and pair of gray slacks and redo your makeup, and you're putting in your earrings on the way out to the hallway where Max is already standing. Of course he was ready before you, but you're grateful that he decided to wait for you to go down. "You said powerful," you remind him, when he eyes the pair of high heels you've put on. It was a favourite pair of your mother's from way back, and even though your feet are sore from last night, you had heeded his advice thoroughly.

“You look like the lady of the house.” He promises with a smirk as he holds out his arm for you to take. Wanting to escort you down. He had heard someone shuffling, snooping around and opening drawers in the desk there. Not that there is any paperwork to find, but it’s interesting. “Shall we?”

"Let's find out who this visitor is." You can't think of a single person who would come looking for you that Mrs. Taylor wouldn't have announced by name, so you're a bit in the dark about the whole thing as you and Max descend the stairs. Even the lawyer would have gotten a formal announcement. Knowing Mrs. Taylor, she would have come in with his business card on a silver tray.

“It should be interesting.” Max comments as he guides you down the stairs and towards the Green Salon with the confidence of a man who had no worries in the world, although he grips your hand on his arm tightly in reassurance.

“Whoever it is,” you shake your head and squeeze his hand back tightly at the bottom of the stairs as he leads you through the ballroom to the sitting room decorated entirely in green and white. “It can’t possibly be that—” The thought dies on your tongue, though, the moment you turn your head and see who is standing beside the desk just a few feet away. “…Derek?”

Max’s entire body stiffens at the tone of your voice. Assuming that this is your ex. The one that had so badly mistreated you. If he were an animal, his hackles would be raised and his fur standing up. Instantly becoming more predatory when the man’s gaze turns towards you.

“Wh—what are you doing here?” Instinctually keeping close to Max’s side, your shoulders round in that familiar and automatic way of making yourself small that your posture has perfected over the years.

Derek frowns slightly at the well-dressed man that you are clinging to before he pokes his lip out slightly and rushes forward. “Baby, I’ve been so worried.” He huffs. “You just disappeared, didn’t call, I didn’t know where you were.”

“You kicked me out.” Shrinking in on yourself a little more deeply makes your face scrunch in confusion along with it. “You broke up with me and you kicked me out.” Right? Isn’t that what happened? Suddenly your memory is foggy and your palms are sweating with nerves.

“What?” He gives you a look of utter confusion and shakes his head. “No, no baby, I went to the bar with friends, you had been upset about something but when I got home, you were gone.” He tries to keep his voice saccharine sweet.

"I was upset because you called me useless and cursed me out—" Doubting your own memory, you look up at Max desperately and then back at Derek. This house was your sanctuary until two minutes ago, now you feel like you'll never be safe again. "How did you find me?"

His eyes narrow for a moment and he almost calls you stupid but the pretty boy next to you makes him mind his manners. “The tracking app.” He explains. “You didn’t turn it off and I finally remembered the login.” It’s more like he had finally given a shit when the house was a wreck and he didn’t have money for beer, but acting like he had been trying to find you sounds better.

"It took you a month to remember my birthday?" Sure, it's a bad idea to use the same password for everything. You get that. But as stupid as you feel for not disconnecting your phone from every single way he could trace you, you feel less stupid about having just one password for everything.

“I thought you had changed it.” Some of the sweetness falls flat and Max can tell that he’s getting annoyed. Good. “But I’m here now, but—” he looks around the opulent room. “What are you doing here?”

"I live here now." While that should be abundantly obvious, you understand his confusion. It's not as though you ever had an abundance of spare funds before. There were times that you could barely make ends meet. "This is my house."

“Your house?” His brow arches up drastically and he looks around the house again with a more appraising eye.

"Yes. It's my house." The place you shared in Tennessee had been under his name but mostly paid for with your money, but this was different. Everything about this place is legally yours and the people you share it with are kind and caring toward you. "You...managed to track me down but not figure out anything else about where I'd gone?"

“Baby.” Derek doesn’t understand why you aren’t overjoyed to see him. You are always a pathetic little mouse, but you are devoted to him. “I just needed to get to you.” He doesn’t mention that his truck is full of his things, the landlord kicking him out when he blew all his money on booze. “I wasn’t trying to waste time looking up this town.”

"That—that's not—" Shuffling from one foot to another, the pounding of your heart must be deafening to the vampires in the house but to you it's just impeding your ability to swallow as you work to try to remember exactly what happened the night you left. Was the fight really not as bad as you made it out to be? "You broke up with me," you repeat determinedly, like you're trying to convince yourself that your memory isn't lying to you. "You don't get to call me that anymore."

“What are you talking about?” Again he shakes his head, looking wounded at your accusation. “I would never break up with the woman I love.” He tells you, wondering why this suited asshole hasn’t let you go yet. “I was looking at engagement rings.”

A wave of nausea washes over you along with the itching sting of an impending panic attack, and your head begins to shake of its own accord before you look up at Max, imploring him not to believe any of this. " N—no." Barely stammered out, the word is completely foreign and definitely not one you were ever allowed to say to Derek. "You're not—we aren't—" As the panic sets in the fear takes hold, squeezing your heart and making you blurt out your best defense as bluntly as possible. "You're not my soulmate."

For a split second, something dark and ugly crosses the other man’s features and as much as Max would love to see what comes out of his mouth, he doesn’t want you to panic for another second. “Hey pal.” Using his most condescending, office manager voice, Max extends his hand out to Derek. “Max Phillips.” He introduces himself. “You are?”

"Derek Scott." There is nearly a growl in the smaller man's voice, and while he means to shake the pompous suit's hand hard enough to make him flinch, the guy you're clinging to seems to be a brick wall. "What exactly are you doing in my girlfriend's house, pal?" Whoever this guy is, Derek needs him out of the way pronto. He wasn't expecting a roadblock when he found you and he doesn't like having his plans interrupted.

“Girlfriend?” Max scoffs slightly, not letting go of the man’s hand and squeezing just shy of making him wince. “Not the way I see it. Why are you here? Me? I’ve lived here for four years.”

"I'm here for my girl." The false confidence in Derek's voice almost waivers with the tight squeeze of his hand, but he manages to hold his shit together long enough to wrench his hand free and realize just how much bigger than him this fuckin' guy really is. "Or did you not hear the part about engagement rings?" Not that he ever would, but he needs this guy to buy the lie. And you, too, for that matter.

“Oh I heard it.” Max chuckles and looks over at you. “I just don’t believe it. Don’t think she does either.” He comments pithily. “Not that it matters anymore. You kicked her out, she just disappeared, who cares? She’s here now and that’s all that matters.”

"I would never have kicked her out." He lies, layering on the look of devotion as he looks over at you. He did. And frankly, he'd done it more than once. It's just that before this, you always came back. Usually in tears, promising to be better. It suited him just fine to always have someone at his beck and call. Especially since you could pay the bills. "But I still don't know why you are here." The guy said he lives here, but how the fuck does that work if this is your house?

“And you don’t need to know.” Max singsongs, grinning broadly. “It’s like having that Top Secret clearance in the government. If you were meant to know, you would.” Right now, he doesn’t want to divulge your soulmate status until he can talk to you, alone. Find out what this asshole wants. “Queenie—” he comments mildly, looking over at you with a wink. “My offer is still on the table.”

It takes you a second, the confusion that's settled over your mind making it hazy, but when you remember that Max has straight out offered to kill Derek for you, your eyebrows shoot up and you shake your head adamantly. "No. N-no. That's...um...that's not...that's not necessary." You insist, feeling like a terrified animal that's been cornered by a predator. "Would you just...let Eddie and Allison know that someone else is here? Please?" Eddie has probably already heard the commotion, but you know Allison would be mortified to wander downstairs in his bathrobe and run into a stranger.

“Are you sure, doll?” His eyes search yours seriously. He doesn’t want you to be alone with this prick, but he’s also not going to control you. When you give him a hesitant nod, he blows out a sigh for show. “Be right back.” He promises, letting go of your arm and cutting his eyes at Derek before he walks out of sight.

"You haven't talked about getting married in years," you murmur, arms crossed over your chest protectively the moment Max is out of sight. It was something that had been talked about on and off — in an abstract sort of way — at the beginning of your relationship with Derek but not since.

“I know, I’ve been….waiting until I could provide for you.” He lies, stepping closer and feeling more confident now that smarmy suit has left the room. “But I realized I don’t want to wait.”

"But..." He steps closer and you step back, trying to keep distance without being overtly rude or making him mad. Derek getting mad is never a good thing. "You...you were sleeping with that bartender." These are things you swore you knew to be true, but fear has muddled your memory. "What's her— Nikki. You were sleeping with Nikki!"

“No I wasn’t.” Derek shakes his head and sighs. “You always claimed I was cheating but I wasn’t. You let your jealousy cloud everything. I wasn’t cheating, I would never cheat.”

"She was in our house." It was about two weeks before he blew up and threw you out, but you know it happened. "She was in our house and you had lipstick on your mouth and—" Feeling the panic crash over you in another wave, you step back again and remind yourself to breath. "I'm not going back," you tell him with a surprising amount of vehemence. "I live here now."

“It’s a nice house.” Derek nods and looks around again. “Nice and big. Expensive.”

"It belonged to family." Saying it out loud is like a resolution, as if acknowledging it is a promise that you aren't going to leave.

“Funny you didn’t have family before.” The mask slips slightly, his frown deeper than before and he steps towards you again.

"It wasn't someone I knew." One step forward gets one step back, and you almost trip moving backward from the carpeted floor of the green room out to the waxed wooden floor of the ballroom. "She left me the house when she died."

He hums, not believing you, but it doesn’t really matter. Soon enough he will know exactly what was left to you and be able to turn it into cash. “Generous.”

"Yeah." A meek nod follows the whisper of the word and you plant your feet again so you won't slip. "Yeah, it—well—it's good. I needed a new start."

“You don’t need a new start.” Derek huffs. “You’re with me.”

"N-no." The shake in your voice is unmistakable. Maybe no one else in the world would know that tone as specifically as you do, but that's the tone that says you're going to be very sorry, very soon. "I-I'm with Max now."

“That guy?” Derek scoffs and shakes his head. “He’s not with you. There’s no way.”

"Why?" That stings so much more than you would have expected. Maybe because it hits home on the very fears that you've been ruminating over since you found out that Max is your soulmate. "Because he's too good for me? Trust me, I know that."

“Because you’re with me.” Derek reminds you. “He’s not your type, I am. I’m the only one who will ever love you like you need.”

"But—you—" Your chest heaves with the effort of holding in the panic that you have had a month's respite from, and the room seems to spin around you in a way that promises to be very bad news in a just a second's time. "You don't—" Breathe. You have to remember to breathe. You manage to snatch your hand away when he reaches for it. "I don't love you anymore."

Max had informed Eddie within two heartbeats of leaving this room, although he had to begrudgingly allow for the human time to walk upstairs and down. He’s been by the door, listening, and is proud of the way you are holding your own. “Listen-—”the douche bag ex starts to talk, but your soulmate decides this is the perfect time to interrupt. “And that concludes todays visitation.” He announces playfully, but has every intention of tearing this asshole apart if he argues. “We thank you for stopping by, but as you can see, Queenie is an extremely busy woman. Planning masquerades and all.” He sails through the door as if he owns the place, with all the grace and confidence this little slime-ball could never possess. Reaching your side and taking your hand again so Derek couldn’t reach for it. His eyes are flat and hard as they shift towards your abusive ex. “Good bye.”

“Don’t you think she oughta be the one to decide that, pal?” Derek’s temper is boiling just below the surface and he has never taken well to rejection. Not ever in his life. Which is why your sudden ability to grow a spine is so fucking disturbing. “This isn’t your house. It belongs to my girl.” He still doesn’t understand why the suited prick even lives here, but he’ll do some digging and find out. Drawing a shaky breath, Max’s hand in yours is grounding and bolstering all at once. “You should go.” You manage after another second, practically shaking apart on the spot from the anxiety of saying no to Derek in any way.

“You heard her, buddy.” The shallow grin that had been on Max’s face drops and for a split second he considers changing his features, really scaring the dogshit out of this dickhead. He doesn’t, out of respect for you. He squeezes your hand to reassure you that nothing will happen to you. “Have a nice day, life, whatever.”

“Baby.” He takes one advanced step, realizing that as long as your guard dog is here, you’re harder to break. What he needs to do is get you alone. “Let me take you out tonight, at least?” He’ll have to figure a couple of things out before then, but he’s been in worse spots before. “I don’t think so.” Shaking your head slightly while you cling to Max’s hand, your eyes hit the floor rather than Derek’s face. None of this is how you wanted to start your day, and you feel like you might crumble if you don’t have your soulmate’s sturdy frame to hold on to.

“It’s time for you to leave.” Max practically snarls it, pissed that this jerk off isn’t getting the hint. You say that he shouldn’t destroy this prick, but Max is about to do it for himself.

“I’ll be back.” Derek announces with vehemence, and you can see his anger tinging the surface as his eyes narrow down on you like they’ve done so many times before.

Max subtly steps in front of you, letting go of your hand. “Let me show you the door.” It’s not a suggestion. “So you don’t get lost.”

The front door is maybe fifteen feet away at most but you still watch Max walk Derek straight to it and push it open to let the smaller man out. They seem to stare challengingly at each other for just a minute before Derek looks past him and finds you staring, at which point he blows you a kiss — something he hasn’t done in years — and steps out into the morning sun. As soon as the door shuts behind him, your legs give out, leaving you in a crumpled pile of gasping sobs on the ballroom floor.

“Fuck.” In a flash, Max is next to you. Not pulling you up, but down on the floor with you and pulling you into his arms. “It’s okay, it’s alright sweetheart.” He murmurs softly. “Let it out,” he rubs your back and pats it gently like he would comfort an infant as they sobbed. He doesn’t want to make you stop, just wants you to know he’s there for you.

“I—I—forgot—” Stuttered out in stifled hiccups, you cling to Max tightly without fear of hurting him and try very hard not to get makeup or tears on his suit. “How could I be so stupid?”

“You are not stupid.” He grunts, making sure you know he doesn’t believe that shit. He holds you tight and wishes he knew how to make it better.

“I’d have to be, to forget about Find My Phone,” you gasp, the tears flowing thick and insistent as you try to hiccup breaths in between. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“What are you sorry about?” Max tries not to frown as he takes your face in his hands. “You have nothing to be sorry about. Nothing.” He doesn’t want to compel you to calm down, but he will if you continue to blame yourself and nearly make yourself sick.

“He’s dangerous.” Is all you can think to say, the insistent and nagging feeling of fear brewing in your gut.

For a second, Max is speechless. Shocked quiet by your words until he starts to chuckle. “Sweetheart, I’m more dangerous than he could ever imagine being.” He promises, tilting your head up and making you meet his eyes. “Do you want me to show you? I don’t look this pretty all the time. There’s- there’s another side to me.”

“I’ve seen your teeth,” you remind him quietly, not quite understanding and trying to get your breathing back to normal from nearly hyperventilating a moment ago.

“It’s not just teeth, sweetheart.” Max is glad he didn’t start calling you ‘baby’ since that was what Derek called you. “You can call it my monster face. You want to see it? See the real me?”

“I have seen the real you.” No matter what else there may be to him, you refuse to believe that the man he has been with you is t the real him — the person he wants to be at his core. “But show me the other side, too.” Puffing out a breath, you barely manage to shift against him. “It’s only fair. Since you’ve seen me falling apart.”

Max chuckles and shakes his head. “You don’t need to be worried about Derek.” He grumbles. “Not when your soulmate - who will never hurt you -“ he add, “looks like this.”

Any other time you might have been startled. You might have reeled back of stared or even been frightened of that way Max’s face transforms. Instead, you almost smile. The twitch at the corners of your mouth, at least are unmistakable. It isn’t fear you feel, but safety. “My guard dog,” you decide after Moment, reaching up to touch his transformed brow.

He growls in surprise at your touch, eyes fluttering closed as he leans into your touch like a guard dog would. He would fight the monsters for you, protect you, and then beg for love and attention from you. His fangs are on display when he smiles, looking like one of the vampires from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was amazing how they got them right. Rumor was one of the exec producers was a vamp himself. “Woof.” He teases.

The tease startles a small laugh out of you, which is steadily followed by a few last tears as your fingers trace the peaks and valleys of his cheek. “You’re not a monster,” you murmur, the recurring thought from his head bleeding into yours, but you refuse to yield to it. “He is.”

“He might be a monster, but me? I’m the thing nightmares are made of.” Max’s voice is deeper in this form, less human than before. “And I will use ever power I have to make sure he doesn’t hurt you.”

“I know you will.” Despite hiccups in the beginning — which there definitely were, you won’t deny that — that is something you believe right down to your core. Max will never intentionally hurt you. Not now. Not knowing who you are to him. Deflating once more, as though the last of the panic is being pushed out of you like a bellows, you lean in and press your forehead to his. “I don’t know what comes over me,” you admit, quiet enough for only him to hear. “It’s like a can’t think when he’s around. I can’t trust my own memory, or my mind at all.”

“Because the motherfucker is gaslighting you.” Max snorts, shifting back to his ‘normal’ form. “His heart speeds up half a beat when he lies. And it skips the every fifth beat while you’re melting down.”

“You should be a living lie detector.” Thinking about it for half a second after it comes out of your mouth, you huff. “An undead lie detector, technically. I guess.”

He chuckles. “I guess I should be. I’ll add it to my resume.”

“What a way to start the day.” It’s a miserable ruination of a perfectly good morning, and you sigh in Max’s arms.

“It just means the rest of our day will be on the upswing.” He murmurs, turning to press a kiss to your hair.

“We…” Looking around, you huff and look up, but your eyes only get as far as his chin. You’re too ashamed that he’s seen the power Derek apparently still holds over you to look him in the eyes like this. “We should get off the floor…”

“Only if you’re ready.” Max isn’t going to judge you for the way you reacted, he knows that the hold people have over someone is strong at times.

“You can’t be comfortable.” The automatic way you think of everyone else first is drilled into you so much that you don’t even realize you’re doing it most of the time. “And I promised Allison brunch. It wouldn’t be fair to have Mrs. Taylor do all that work and then not eat anything.”

“You can take a moment.” Max tuts softly, not wanting you to think that he’s admonishing you. He’s not. “I’m not going to die of a cramp. Brunch hours are still in full swing, and Mrs. Taylor thrives on making food for humans.”

“This is my moment. Right here.” Right here with him. This is the only way you could ever remotely be okay. “Normally encounters with that man leave me catatonic or privately inconsolable. The fact that I can even speak coherently right now is because of you.”

“Then I’m happy that I was here.” If he had been at work and this had happened, he would have been pissed.

"Pretty glad you decided to stay home," you admit, echoing his thoughts without knowing it.

“I am too, Queenie.” He hums softly and then gives a small chuckle. “Although you should never worry. Mrs. Taylor would have torn his head off if he had touched you. Everyone here really. We are protective of our human.”

"Then I feel very, very safe." Ironic, considering how many humans would fear for their lives in a house full of vampires, but you sit up in the middle of the ballroom floor and exhale slowly. "I just...I wonder how long he'll stay around. Or try to stay around, I guess."

He hums, knowing that the man had already sniffed out money. He wasn’t going away anytime soon. “I’m sure that he will move on soon, but for now, Eddie or I can run around town with you and Allison.”

"I can always take Mr. Taylor with me, too. If I need to." The older man looked far younger than his years, obviously, and having the strength of a vampire nearby could only be helpful in that department. "I'd hate to ask any of you to do it, though. To basically be my bodyguards until he's gone."

“You aren’t asking.” Max points out with a small smirk, dropping his hand to your and rubbing the back of it gently. “I know it might seem confining, like I’m punishing you, but I just want you to be safe.”

"Trust me, I know what being punished feels like." Shaking your head won't banish those particular memories, so you shift to your knees and start to stand. Slowly, of course. Since you've been crying and all. "This is the farthest thing from it."

Max frowns fiercely and opens his mouth to demand to know what you mean by that, but he doesn’t speak. He won’t push you to talk about things that you might not be coping with well. He helps you up and bites his lip as he brushes off your outfit, taking extra time on your ass.

"I can feel that, ya know." Teasing is good. It lightens the mood and it helps to break the tension of the last half hour.

“I would hope so.” He snickers, patting it once before dropping his hand.

“I should go up and apologize to Eddie and Allison.” You know that Eddie heard every word, and that Max was probably listening sharply every second he was out of the room. The only thing you want at this point is to alleviate any awkwardness that Derek’s unwelcome visit may have caused.

“You didn’t invite him here, sweetheart.” He doesn’t like your need to apologize for things beyond your control. “But I’ll go with you.”

“We’re right here.” Allison and Eddie stand at the bottom of the staircase, having waited until the sounds of argument and crying had stopped to come down from his room. “Honey.” With both arms outstretched, Allison hurries across the great hall to wrap you up in a hug. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

Max steps back, motioning Eddie off to the side while Allison comforts you. Pleased that Eddie’s witchy girlfriend was such a good friend to you. He knows the other vampire heard him but he wants to put Eddie’s unique skills to use. “I want you to find out where this motherfucker is staying.” Eddie’s damn handy with a computer. “And why he decided to come to Newport. She won’t let me kill him…yet.”

“On it.” Eddie promises him, glancing past Max to make sure you’re okay with Allison. “He isn’t gonna like her being threatened when he finds out.” There is no doubt in the older vampire’s mind that their sire will find out everything that’s happened. It’s only a matter of when.

“No he won’t, but I am more concerned with her right now.” Max confesses quietly. “She almost instantly went back to the shy mouse she was when she arrived. I don’t like it, I don’t like him being here, threatening her peace.”

“We’ll get him out of town as fast as he came.” Eddie promises, his head bowed and expression uncharacteristically serious. He doesn’t take it lightly when his family is threatened — and you’re family. More than just being related to Cookie, you’re Max’s soulmate. You are a part of his clan and that is that.

“Thanks.” He might give Eddie a bunch of shit, a lot of the time, but that’s just playing around with him. He cares about the other vampire tremendously and he knows that Eddie has a tender spot for you. “I’m going to try to work from home as much as possible.”

“We can get you a positive Covid test,” Eddie offers instantly, knowing that though Mr. Taylor looks like a fairly run of the mill, ordinary man, his resources run deep. He can get any kind of blood or DNA they need - even infected. Some vampires like it. They think it tastes spicy. “Two weeks off, per company rules. If I remember your griping correctly.”

Max smirks, lifting a brow at Eddie. “Been thinking about using that at school, haven’t you?”

“It’s just the dumbass math credits.” Eddie huffs and rolls his eyes. “I’m forty fucking years old and I’ve never used calculus once.”

“And you never will.” Max admits with a roll of his eyes. “My favorite thing was when the math teachers told me I would never just carry a calculator in my pocket. Jokes on them.”

The smirk and half-snort it earns him from Eddie in agreement makes both men laugh, and Eddie nods after a moment. “We’re gonna take care of her,” he promises. “Whatever it takes.”

“I know, I just-“ he shrugs helplessly. “I feel vulnerable now.”

“That’s fair.” There’s nothing that Eddie can particularly say to change that. Not in this moment anyway, but he nods. “We should get him here,” he concedes. “We can keep her safe, but that would guarantee the rat bastard never sees the light of day again.”

"Have you figured out how to call him?" Max asks in amusement. He had never quite learned what peaked his interests or even how he had come to be restored after being destroyed by Evan and his little girlfriend.

“Mrs. Taylor knows.” Of that, Eddie is certain. “I’m not above calling in the big guns, and I know she can do it.”

"He might tell us to take this problem on ourselves and solve it." He doubts that, but oftentimes his sire could be difficult just because he could be.

“Not on something as important as your soulmate.” There is nothing their sire takes more seriously than protecting a soulmate.

"If this guy becomes a problem, I will ask Mrs. Taylor to call him." Because of his promise, he doesn't tell Eddie that he is already here. He just pretends that he has no clue where their shared sire is.

“Good.” For now Eddie just nods, knowing that Max has to be the one to take the reins on this. “For now, I’m gonna sort out that Covid test to buy you some time off and you should go be with her. Just…I can’t imagine the kind of hell she’s in.”

"She's more concerned with being a problem than having a problem because of this douche bag." Max shakes his head. "I just wish she knew that she doesn't have to pretend with us."

“She hasn’t been away from him that long.” If there’s one thing Eddie knows, it’s how twisted relationships can get. He may not have been in a situation quite as bad as yours, but he does understand it. “She’s not pretending, this is just how she reacts to things now. It’s conditioning. And over time she’ll be able to unlearn it as she feels safer and more supported with us. But that takes a lot of time.”

“It’s a good think we’ve got plenty of it.” Max frowns as he imagines the hell you must have lived with and guilt settles over his shoulders. “This is all my fault.”

“How?” Eddie frowns, glancing passed Max to see Allison leading you into the dining room with a soothing hand on your back. When he refocuses on Max he shoves his hands in his pockets. “How is that piece of shit possibly your fault?”

“Because when I got kicked out of college, that night I forgot I had a blind date set up.” Max waits for a second to see if it clicks with Eddie but the other vampire just frowns again in confusion. “I was supposed to go on a date with Dolly. And instead of meeting her soulmate, she met fuckface.”

“Oh fuck.” Teasing ceases immediately when he realizes that it’s not just blame Max has put on his own shoulders, it’s guilt. “You couldn’t have known, man. Not in a million years.”

“No? I should have.” Max had been kind of a douche, but he had respected people. Hadn’t wasted their time. He had failed you. “I should have remembered, and now she’s dealing with all this.” He waves his hand towards the door.

“So maybe instead of wallowing in it and feeling bad about something you can’t change, this is the time to take care of her.” He can’t fault Max for feeling bad, or for connecting those dots in his mind that have already become a chain, but he doesn’t want it to overwhelm the other vampire. “And that’s not suggesting that you aren’t taking care of her right now. I’m just saying keep doing it. Protect her. Support her. And for fuck’s sake, let’s get rid of this asshole.”

“I’ve offered to kill him.” Max reveals. “I wouldn’t even eat him, he’s too rotten.” It says a lot about you that you still wouldn’t let him kill the asshole, but Max had to give up his humanity in that aspect when he became a creature that preyed on humans.

"I can't imagine that that went over very well with Dolly." although Eddie would be lying if he claimed that he didn't want to do the same.

“She thanked me, but said no.” He huffs, a little amused at your politeness at it. “I don’t like feeling helpless, Ed.”

"No one does." Eddie assures him. And after a moment adds: "Do you want to go have brunch with her? It might help you feel better just to keep an eye on her."

“I took today off, I had planned on it, but now it’s assured.” He nods. “She said Allison was joining her? Are you planning on being there too?”

“I was planning on asking if they wanted more company or if they wanted to girl talk,” Eddie admits with a soft grin. His night with Allison had been fantastic and he had planned on telling Max all about it today — but other things took precedence.

“Then I say we both join them and make it seem like it was our plan all along.” Max hums, feeling slightly better now that he knows that the vampires he is closest with agree with his view. This Derek needs to disappear.

******

You don’t hesitate when Allison comes into the ballroom with her arms open, accepting her embrace and doing your best to maintain any sort of composure. “Hell of a morning,” you huff into her shoulder, trying to make it seem much less drastic than it feels.

“And not a single bit of it is your fault.” Eddie had told her about the meeting, relaying the conversation as it happened, so she doesn’t even pretend she doesn’t know what’s going on.

“It feels like it is.” It feels like everything wrong in the world is your fault, and it’s all weighing down on your shoulders.

“You never would have allowed him to come here.” She shakes her head. “So no, don’t let him ruin your special day.” She hugs you again fiercely and pulls back to look into your eyes. “You have your soulmate, your health, a beautiful house, friends, a coven.” She snorts. “Want me to call them over? We’ll put hexes on him.”

“Do hexes even take when the person is evil to begin with?” You snort softly and shake your head. “It’s not worth it. I just…I was working really hard to put him in my past. And now he’s…very much present again.”

“He’s only present if you allow him to be.” She hums as she turns to wrap her arm around you and guide you out of the ballroom and towards the dining room. “He’s virtually a stranger to you now. You don’t owe him a hello.”

“It’s not quite as easy as that,” you tell her honestly, but don’t resist being led into the next room. Misery may love company but it’s stolen away your appetite, though that doesn’t mean Mrs. Taylor’s magical cooking won’t bring it back.

“Explain it to me, love.” She rubs your back to soothe you. She can’t claim to know that part of your life, despite the things that you have confided in her and the others, but she’s never lived it.

“It’s like…having a light switch in my back. It’s one that he put there and I don’t know to turn it off or take it out.” There is probably a far more eloquent way to describe the sensation, but it fully escapes you this morning. “The switch is just never off. And somehow, when he’s around? It finds another level. I have no fight or flight anymore. It’s just survival mode. I am constantly just clawing desperately at survival but that switch? The fact that it’s on takes up all of my energy. I can’t think, I definitely can’t fight back, I just…melt down.”

Her jaw tightens and if he were in front of her, Allison would punch that asshole dead in his mouth. It sounds like Derek has trained your reactions to fit his dark aura, feeding off of your panic. “You have had it rough.” She murmurs sympathetically, her heart breaking at the grief in your tone. “But, that is the past and now we will make sure that he regrets trying to come back into your life.”

“I just…want him to leave.” Everything was going so well, and you were starting to adjust. Things were looking up for the first time since…well, since your parents died. “I don’t even care what else happens to him. I just want him to go.”

“He can be barred from the estate.” She reminds you quietly. “You hold the power this time.”

“That would just make me terrified to leave the property.” While she might technically be correct, you know yourself. And you know that other problems would arise. "I’d develop agoraphobia in under a week.”

“Max or Eddie should be with you.” Allison immediately ventures. “Or even Mrs. Taylor or Renee. But I think that Derek would be more wary of another man.”

"He wouldn't even blink at me being out with you or one of the girls or Renee. Mrs. Taylor might give him pause, but only because he's kind of afraid of his mother. It would wear off quickly." It does occur to you, though, that Max really is a bit like your guard dog at the moment. And while some others might find it unsettling you find it to be the most comforting fact in the world. "I'll just work my schedule around Max's work schedule. We don't have a coven meeting this week anyway, and it's not as if Mrs. Taylor takes me grocery shopping with her."

“Don’t restrict yourself to the estate.” She urges quietly. “Go out, be seen with your soulmate.”

"There aren't too many places I even go." Over the last few weeks it's been expanding, but that number will surely shrink again in no time. "And Derek wouldn't even know what a dance studio looks like, let alone how to find one."

“Doesn’t matter if he will find you or not.” She shakes her head, guiding you to the table and pulling out a chair for you. There are four place settings, so she assumes that Eddie and Max will be joining you and she’s glad of it. “The point is you not isolating yourself.”

"I'm staying home today," you tell her firmly, not willing to bend on that point. "Anything beyond that...I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Does that count as compromise?"

“Perfect.” She can’t blame you, not at all, and she smiles softly. “I think today is a lovely day to stay in.”

"Tell me all about your night?" Places are set but there is no trace of Mrs. Taylor just yet, and you reach over the table to squeeze Allison's hand. "Please? It will distract me."

“I don’t know how to even describe it.” Allison can’t help but giggle at the mere mention of the night before, blushing furiously. “Magical? Incredible? We talked all night.”

"Just talked?" There is almost a smile on your lips, a half-hearted attempt at the expression tucking itself into the corner of your mouth like a smirk as you raise an eyebrow at her.

“Maybe not just talked.” She admits with a small sigh, looking positively dreamy.

"And you weren't even sure he liked you back." The absolute, pure happiness on your friend's face is the best balm you could ask for right now, reminding you that there are so many good things in the world to combat the bad.

“How was I supposed to know?” She cries out, even if she’s grinning, practically beaming.

“All that matters is you’re happy now.” They have both been such sweet friends to you that seeing them happy together is a marvel. It really feels like these two dear friends had been put in each other’s paths on purpose, it just took them a little while to inch slowly closer to each other on that path.

“And you?” She asks softly, arching a brow. “How did last night go?” She hopes that Max standing beside you is a good indication of the night, but she wants to hear it from you.

“It was…” Your cheeks warm again instantly, happy memories casting a glow over your features that even the events of the last half hour can’t mar. “Pretty perfect, honestly. Everything about it.”

“You were so nervous about dinner, how did you like the tavern?” Allison asks, grinning at the dreamy expression that’s taken over your face. It apparently went really well, and she wonders if you slept in Max’s arms like she did in Eddie’s last night.

“It was really fancy, but it was so romantic.” The entire meal had been like a dance, and as much as you had felt overwhelmingly out of place in the beginning, by the end you didn’t even notice anyone else was there. “And that dance studio invited us back. We were…We were talking about maybe doing a competition together in the future.”

“Really?” Her eyes light up, knowing how much you’ve loved dancing in the past. The fact that you are talking about doing it means that you probably will, since Max is more of a action kind of man than a talker.

“The whole thing was perfect.” You shrug slightly, the light in your eyes dimming a little when you do. “And then we got this, this morning.”

“Max isn’t upset at you, he’s not mad.” Allison reminds you. “He’s probably feeling pretty damn protective right now.”

“I can’t imagine why any of you even still want to spend time with me, knowing what I’m really like.” That mouse — that broken, beaten down, terrified version of yourself colours everything so deeply when it comes out that you can’t manage to see that the rest of who you are is still very much there. And it always has been. It’s just that you’ve been frightened into shutting her up into a small closet in the corner of your mind. It’s only since you got to Newport that you’ve even remembered how to open the door again.

“I see a strong woman.” Allison frowns at your description of yourself. “One who has survived things that I could never fully understand. I admire you, Dolly. You could be embittered, harsh and cold. But you are still amazing warm and compassionate, friendly and loving. Why wouldn’t I want to spend time with you? Me or anyone else?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see myself the way you seem to,” you admit softly. The way she defends you so fiercely, even to your yourself, is heartening. You just feel so tired from finding out that this fight — with him, for yourself and for your freedom — isn’t over yet.

“I think you will.” She tilts her head playfully. “When you realize that you have an immortal soulmate who would destroy to protect you, you’ll see how strong you are.”

“Maybe.” There’s no use arguing about it, of course, and anything is possible. Even if it isn’t likely. “Maybe one day I’ll find the edge of this shell and crack my way out of it. Until then, I’m just very glad to have people in my life who don’t mind a little bit of nuttiness.”

“Haven’t you noticed?” Allison laughs, wide eyed. “We’re all nuts here. It’s part of our charm.”

Her honest, full-throated laughter helps you relax just a touch more and you smile. “Maybe that’s why I’m so comfortable here after all.”

“Perhaps.” She teases, reaching out and buffing your shoulder slightly. “Otherwise, you would have run for the hills. A strange inheritance, vampires? It’s almost unbelievable.”

“It’s the three-volume gothic novel I always wanted,” you admit, a small and slightly guilty grin cracking your expression. “I just never thought I’d be in the story.”

“It’s much better than reading it, isn’t it?” She laughs. “I never thought I would have the supporting actress roll to a wonderful main character, and I love it.”

“You are second to no one, honey. Never. You are vibrant and loving and you are definitely leading lady material.” Nothing about Allison’s personality says anything but shining star, and you’ll tell her that every day.

“No, I like the supporting role.” She insists with a giggle. “It’s not bad at all. Plus, I’ve discovered a new best friend because of all this.

"And you finally got your man." Your smile quirks slightly, and you grin in amusement. "Well...vampire."

"Man enough." Allison snorts, grinning back at you and biting her lip. "Although we didn't do that. Yet."

"Neither did we." It would have been too much for the very first night together, and it would have made this morning all the more devastating to be interrupted the way that you were.

"Do you wish you had?" She asks curiously. "Since you had that unpleasant visitor?"

"Honestly I think it would have made this morning even worse," you admit, though you aren't sure if you'll follow your logic. "It would have been an even ruder interruption and I would have felt all the more exposed."

"I can appreciate that." She hums, biting her lip and reaching out to touch your hand. "I know that having a drink to calm your nerves isn't your style, is there something that does help?" She asks, wanting to help you move past your anxiety from your ex's visit.

"Tea." It seems like a funny thing to say out loud, or at least a thing that makes you sound like an old British lady, but it's true. "Max was talking about helping with some renovations on the teahouse. Taking out the stove and replacing it with a fireplace to make it a little more witchy and a little less mid-60s."

"Ohhhhhh." Her eyes widen and heart practically appear in their depths, falling in love with the idea. "That would be amazing, wouldn't it? What do you think? That's the most important question, of course."

"I think if he ever can't find me, the first place he needs to look is my little medieval witch teahouse paradise." The thought is just as dreamy to you as it seems to be to Allison and you're glad that it is one more thing that you will be able to share with your friend. "And I think we should take the chance to build a small altar in the teahouse, too. The bookshelf is just the right height to put it on top."

"I think that would be a good idea." She nods. "You should be able to take anything out of the tower you would want to make it more your own."

"If you had asked me when I got here, I would have said that I would never get used to living in a place like this, but it's become home so quickly."

"Cookie always said that this house was meant to be a home." Allison muses.

"And she was right about that." Eddie says from the doorway, flashing both you and Allison a warm smile before rounding the table to kiss Allison's cheek and sit down in the chair to her right.

“Awwww, how sweet.” Max is right behind him, doing the exactly same thing for you, even though he’s busting Eddie’s balls. “Are you okay, sweetheart?” He asks softly after bussing your cheek gently.

“I’m starting to feel a little better.” It’s a miracle that you are, since recovery was never exactly something you experienced when you were dealing with Derek on your own.

“We’ll have you feeling amazing by the end of brunch. Completely forgetting about this little interruption in our day.” Max reaches for your hand as soon as he sits down and kisses the back of it.

“I was just telling Alli about the tea house plans,” you tell him, already feeling that much safer with him beside you and reassuring you.

“You’ve decided you want to do it?” Max looks thrilled that you like the idea. “I can guarantee you will love it. And Mr. Taylor knows a crew that can have it done in days.”

“It doesn’t have to be rushed.” After all, besides you and Allison, everyone else has all the time is the world. “But I think it would be really nice. I can add a second altar on top of the bookshelf and have it be a little more casual than the altar space in the tower.

“It would be nice to have before the snows come.” Eddie agrees, nodding eagerly. “It can be even cozier and I bet a little bat would love to bask in front of the fire.”

Allison giggles at the image and you smile a little wider than you had been a moment ago. “I can see it now. A little bat window in the door instead of a cat door.” You muse, just imagining how silly that is as Mrs. Taylor comes in with a pot of tea and a carafe of warm blood.

Max rolls his eyes, still not aware that Allison knows he’s the bat in question, but he grins at you. “I think Cutie would like to hang out there with you.”

The soft, giggling laugh that Allison lets free is barely stifled, and you squeeze Max’s hand gently. “Apparently,” you murmur after thanking Mrs. Taylor for pouring your tea. “Cookie had told the coven a little while ago. About your…other form.”

Max’s eyes widen and he looks startled. For once looking like prey instead of a predator. “Oh.” He grunts. “So- you all knew it was me? That night?” He asks the other witch.

“We didn’t think it would be nice to tell your secret before you were ready to tell her yourself,” Allison confesses. “It just seemed very sweet to us. That you felt so attached and protective over Dolly so early on.”

“I couldn’t explain it at the time.” Max admits, knowing he’s told you the same thing. “I just needed to know she was safe.”

"I promise you." Her eyes move for Max over to you and back again. "Whenever she's with the coven, we'll keep her safe." She never could hae understood the real threat before, but now that she does? She is ready and willing to be on the front lines with you.

You welfare is the most important thing, so Max nods seriously. “Is there- I don’t know - some kind of protection spell you can do?”

“I’ve never been very good with spell work,” you murmur, always having felt like a bad witch for it. Your best strengths in witchcraft were when you were young, and you would routinely craft lucky charms for friends or loved ones. “Candace and Tracy and I are,” Allison offers. “We can teach you. Help you work on your spells if you want to. And if you don’t, we’ll just make sure the estate has a damn good protective barrier.” “There are supplies in the tower, should require specialized items.” Mrs. Taylor offers when she re-enters the room. Quiche, salad, fresh scones with jam and clotted cream, and a tray of arrayed meats that includes blood sausages all fill out the brunch table well.

“Mrs. Taylor would know.” Max muses. “Has the entire estate catalogued. Knows down to the number of spare toothbrushes in the cabinets for guests.”

“Seven.” Mrs. Taylor reports without flinching. She makes sure that everything is set out well and nods. Having learned that you like meal times but aren’t as formal as the last mistress of the house, she’s switched to serving meals family style. It seems to be going well. “There is dessert if you have room for it,” she tells you with a smile. “If not, it will be lovely with afternoon tea. But if you’ll excuse me, I will collect some things from the tower that Ms. Brown favored for protection spells.” And like that, she is gone again in the blink of an eye.

“Leave it to her.” Max wraps his arm around the back of your chair. “Most of the supplies will be in your tea house by the time you finish your first scone.”

“I don’t doubt it.” And you don’t think you ever would doubt Mrs. Taylor. Not when it comes to her ability to get things done.

“Everything looks so good.” Allison moans, looking over the table with astonishment. It was supposed to be a simple brunch, but the housekeeper had outdone herself.

“Dig in.” You encourage, nudging the silver carafe on the table toward Max first. A conversation with Mrs. Taylor the other day about blood consumption had lead to this particular idea and you wanted to know how he felt about it.

“This is new.” Max hums, looking over at you with a raised brow. “What made you decide to try this?”

“We’re trying out a slightly less formal way of doing things.” The meal all set out in the table and the slightly more formal China — at least, it isn’t the priceless one-of-a-kind French Limoges China set that Cookie had favoured — and now warm blood in coffee cups instead of wine glasses. It’s all a little more normal. Or at least as normal as this household might ever get. “Is it okay with you?” You look over at Eddie, who is helping Allison fill her plate. “I just thought everyone would be more comfortable without feeling like things had to be hidden.”

“Are you okay with it?” That’s what’s most important to him. While he’s consumed blood around you, you had never been aware of it. Teacups aren’t exactly inconspicuous.

“I want to be.” The best you can do is be honest with him, and this is your honest answer. “I want to do my best to understand, and to normalize blood in this house. Because you all deserve to exist as yourselves just as much as any of us do.”

“Vampire rights.” Max grins, finding it charming that you would be so concerned about it. “You are so damn sweet.”

“You’re my soulmate,” you remind him, though to your surprise it’s the first time that a different set of words has ardently risen to the top of your mind in their place. “I want you to be happy and comfortable.” Obviously, they all know now how little comfort and happiness there has really been in your life.

“And that’s my wish for you.” He counters. “So we’ll try this, but if it makes you queasy or uncomfortable, we won’t do it again.”

“Deal.” Of course you can’t blame him for being gentle with you. Not after this morning.

He grins, sending you a small wink before pulling his arm from around you. “Good, Dolly, let’s fix your plate.” He murmurs. “We worked up an appetite last night.”

“Dancing,” you clarify, knowing that Eddie has to have heard every second of what went on between you and Max last night and not knowing how much Max will have told him about yet. There’s still a smile in the corner of your mouth, though, and heat in your cheeks. You are know it was more than just dancing.

“Not that much dancing.” Max snorts. “Don’t get embarrassed sweetheart, we’re among friends.” He teases you. “Eddie wasn’t listening to your breathy moans because he was listening to Allison’s.”

Even though your ears burn immediately, Allison is the one who blushes furiously, and you both end up laughing. “That’s…that’s a fair point,” she admits. “I guess we’re all destined to a lot more breakfasts for four from now on.”

“And that will make Mrs. Taylor’s panties cream.” Max snorts, grinning devilishly.

“Nobody needs that image,” Eddie protests, practically cringing as he takes the carafe of blood from in front of Max to pour his own cup. He’s laughing though, underneath it, and Allison snorts and shakes her head.

“Mr. Taylor is very happy about that.” Despite being the less visible of the two, the vampire soulmate of the housekeeper was still desperate in love with his mate, despite the passage of time.

“They’re a very sweet pair.” Although both vampires do their utmost to be professional around you, you had seen them being affectionate more than once as you passed by the pair and they had always struck you as very much in love and like the unofficial parents of the rest of the staff.

“The stories they can tell.” Max tuts, rolling his eyes. “Never had so many ‘historical’ movies ruined in all my life.” It’s a joke, one meant to lighten the mood and turn it playful.

“I can’t wait to hear them all.” It sounds like the most heavenly pastime in the world to you, to sit and listen to all of those stories, and you can’t help the dreamy tone in your voice. “That sounds amazing.”

Eddie smirks at Max, having figured that you would enjoy that. “You know, one day, Mrs. Taylor should show you how to wear all the different styles of clothes. Have a little try on session.” He suggests.

“You love dress up, you know you do.” Allison smiles at the idea. She’s seen you with some of those dresses already and how you light up with historical fashion. “That…does sound like fun.” You have to admit that, as all four of you start your meal.

******

The rest of the day seemingly passed easy enough. You had slowly shed the unease that Derek’s visit had left under the guise of Max’s less than subtle flirting and teasing. Never anything that could be considered mean, all of it meant to make you feel good. When you had finally fallen asleep in his arms, Max sighs, tightening his hold on you as if to protect you in sleep.

It’s probably owing to having a protector that can and will sit up all night that you actually manage to fall asleep. The fear that lays deep in your bones hasn’t entirely dissipated over the course of the day and you’re reasonably assured to have nightmares about Derek breaking into your house or sneaking into your room to hurt you. Or, you would have. If you didn’t have a small army of very protective vampires to watch over you.

The door knob twists slowly, causing Max to snap his head towards the door. He hadn’t heard anyone approach so it must be him. Watching still as the door starts to swing open like a ghost, the darkness of the hallway concealing him before he steps into view. His eyes are fixed on the bed. Not on Max, but on you. Soft and yearning in a way that he had never seen on his sire’s face beyond when he was with Cookie. There’s a love there that Max can’t begin to understand and yet he realizes that you are so much more than just a random relative of the late witch.

He holds up one hand to indicate he will not be speaking and does not want Max to speak. Instead he focuses all of his attention solely on you, and steps closer to your side of the bed as he begins to filter through your thoughts and past the barrier of your dreams. From the haze of sleep, it is suddenly a crisp spring morning with birds singing outside the kitchen window of your childhood home. The smell of coffee and pancakes and something reminiscent of minerals and earth tickle your nose as you sit at the breakfast table with your father. And…two older people. You recognize them but can’t remember their names, though the part of your mind not engaged in Sleep insists this is Yayo and his wife. But you never made up a wife for Yayo. Did you? But you must have — or else how did she get into your dream…

It’s amazing that you are awake, but you’re not. Your eyes are open, but there is still the glaze of sleep in your eyes. It’s something that he knows vampires can do, but he’s never actually witnessed it before.

“But why can’t we go?” You ask, young and afraid of missing out on any opportunity for an adventure. Being denied a chance at going on a trip seems cruel to your little mind.

He smiles indulgently, careful to not reach for you since your mother was so wary of him being here. “Muñequita wishes to go, mija.” He urges, and his wife, beautiful and graceful, nods. “She will be at such a disadvantage in her destiny if you continue to shield her from her powers.” She hums. “By her age, you were already in control of your spells and you’ve barely taught her the basics!”

"She has her whole life ahead of her, Papa." You mother, hair perpetually tied back under a kerchief and long blouses always flowing over her jeans, doesn't take her eyes off the pancakes on the griddle in front of her even when your father gets up from the table to take things out of the oven. Bacon. The smell fills the kitchen and makes you grin happily, barely registering what the adults are talking about. "She doesn't need to be spending her summers surrounded by wizened old witches who want to poke and prod her or vampires who think they can experiment on her. She'll come into her powers just fine on her own if she really is what you think she is."

He hisses under his breath, a quick scowl to show his displeasure. “There has already been enough running from destiny in this family.” He reminds her, arching a brow and settling a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “We had once thought you would be the one to take this role.”

"I know you did." When she puts the last pancakes on the platter and sets it down in the middle of the table, your mother ruffles your hair affectionately and pours you a glass of orange juice before starting to serve breakfast to the assembled family. "But I chose a human life instead. And I will not apologize for being happy."

“I have a human life.” Your grandmother reminds her, the tone slightly sharp due to the insult she has just subtly given both her and her father. “And it has been a glorious one, as you might recall.”

"But I am not human." The quiet reminder from your mother isn't angry, but it is the point. "And I know that you aren't happy that I've chosen to live as one, but it is what I have chosen."

“But you are better than a human.” Yayo insists. “The best of both species and yet you squander your life.” He views this as a rejection of the life he has given her, could give you and it irks.

"I'm happy, Papa. I have a job that I love, my wonderful husband, and my baby. Would you be happier if I had never given you a granddaughter? If I had stayed in your house to be constantly miserable for as many more centuries as I'll live?" Life in that house had been so happy early on, that she hates that it is now a sticking point. Happiness is all she's ever wanted and she cannot see why her parents would not let her decide what that would mean.

“You could have been happy with Emanuel!” His voice dips down with sorrow and underlying fury. “That house was built for you and your mother. The first stone set the day I learned a miracle had occurred.”

The look exchanged between your father and mother at the mention of a name you don't know makes you uneasy, an acute pain twitching in the back of your mind even if you don't understand quite what it is. "I'll see your house one day, Yayo." You promise your grandfather brightly, as though that would smooth the entire argument over without further question. "But I'm not big enough for it yet."

“Of course you will, muñequita.” Instantly, his attention is back on you, his smile soft and reassuring, like it always is. “One day it will be yours.”

"One day." The devout love you have for your parents is different than the affection you have for your grandfather. Even at eight years old, he is your best friend and biggest fan. Phone calls, letters, gifts, and even flowers arriving to your front door born by big men with embroidered shirts always make it into your little hands with glee. "But not yet. Not until I'm bigger. But then I;ll be big enough to read all your books."

“No.” Your mild mannered, polite and always agreeable father snaps, slapping the pan he had been holding down on the counter. “No, you will not be reading anything that he has.”

"Daddy?" The moment startles everyone in the room, you most of all, and your mother stands up from the table immediately to move to her husband's side. Her eyes are still on her parents, though, and she takes a deep breath. "I think it's time for you both to go," she decides, her hand gently massaging her husband's arm to calm him. "It's been a nice weekend, but I think we should cut it short before there's any more arguing."

“Mija-“ Your grandfather reaches out to his daughter, nearly blanching at the idea of leaving but she shakes her head. Making him freeze when she growls. “Darling, your father is-“ your grandmother stands, nearly wringing her hands as she tries to diffuse the tension. “I’m tired of the excuses, the what ifs and the what should have beens.” Your father rants. “You cannot accept that your daughter wants the life that she lives, that she chose after living for over one hundred years, then you are no longer welcomed in it.” He turns to his wife and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, baby, I’ve kept quiet, I’ve tried to support you, but all they do is insist you have the life they choose. You told me that if they started up again, you were done. Well, here we are.”

******

The feeling of drowning reaches into your dream, pulling you out of it which such a violent rip that you find yourself gasping and sitting straight up in bed, clawing at the blankets that were tucked up around your neck and shoulders. Max is right beside you still, you feel him sit up next to you the split second you realize you're awake. But there is another figure in the room. Soft, dark curls. A round face with mysterious eyes. That proud smile tucked up in the corner of his mouth as he watches you just as carefully as he always has. It takes a second, but you know you're not dreaming anymore. And you've just had either the most vivid dream of your life, or somehow the explanation for how real that felt will be much, much stranger. "Y—Yayo?" Is he really standing in front of you? Flesh and blood and as real as the morning sun pushing back against the curtains drawn over your bedroom windows.

Pride swells in his chest, just like it did every time he had heard his ‘nickname’ fall from your lips. “Good morning, muñequita.” He hums quietly, eyes alight with happiness. “It is so good to see you again, granddaughter.”

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime

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My Masterlist!

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Max Phillips #Max Phillips x you #Max Phillips x reader #Max Phillips x female reader #Max Phillips x f!reader #Eddie BtVS #Bloodsucking Bastards #soulmate au #mysterious inheritance #tw abusive relationship #past abusive relationship #gaslighting #The Thief #Casillero del Diablo

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burningsuitfire · 1 year

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Essek and religious trauma

Saw this post from @balleater here and having been meaning to write a meta on the subject, theorizing about what we know.

Essek admits to being seriously traumatized when Caleb talks to him in the Grove.

(141) Caleb: Somewhat hypocritical coming from me, but try to be kind to yourself. Essek: You, more than anyone, showed me that trauma doesn't define you.

The simplest conclusion is religious trauma, along with neglect and abandonment.

In the wrap-up Matt puts serious emphasis on Essek's parents and family being "very deeply steeped" in the religious culture alongside how Essek has "very much eschewed" the religious culture, that no one has ever genuinely cared about Essek beyond his influence and talent, that his family didn't understand or support his focus on dunamantic research (or his career), and draws clear lines about the negative aspects of Dynasty's theocratic authoritarianism and uncompromising cultural zealotry, at points Mercer even compares it to evangelicalism and doomsday cults.

He also gives us hints that it's a bad situation for anyone who doesn't follow the official faith, like in Eiselcross when Caleb asks questions about the mandated religion and Kryn theories on the beacons:

(124) Essek: It is an interesting idea, though I would caution to keep it close to the chest. Such conversations might be considered sacrilege in some circles of the Dynasty.

Which as word of god tells us Essek had a very bad relationship with his powerful authoritarian den family that didn't understand him or his goals, and he grew up in the Bastion (which is a temple to the Luxon), when the Dynasty laws are founded on the faith and enforced by the military:

(EGtW) The laws of the dynasty, which stem from the faith of the Luxon, are enforced by a network of trusted Aurora Watch captains and soldiers

To the point where Matt emphasized how even petty criminals in the prison were systematically "beaten and emaciated", sacrilege could have ugly consequences, even growing up.

Especially considering that all we know of his father is that he seemed to have a temper to the point of extremely self-destructive tendencies, and that he was possibly military and thus law enforcement (warriors function as both in the Dynasty).

Even in the dinner conversation when he was being outstandingly open, Essek was very careful not to tell the nein anything that could allow other Kryn to question his faith:

Marisha: So his lying about it [consecution] was just about going along with the zealotry and not- Matt: Exactly, because he didn't want people to think that there was something up.

And then there's Essek's massive trust problems, which are specifically focused on the word "trust":

(131) Caleb: We feel we can trust you more than my old teacher. (You see, when you say the word "trust". It's simultaneously like seeing a small hit to the heart... and whatever icy bit that cracked melts away for a minute. There's a moment of him hearing the word and letting it wash over him.) Essek: I'm thankful for the trust you put in me. And I hope to make this up to you.

(124) Essek: I've never really been trusted and so I did not trust. When I- when you gave me trust, it gave me a perspective that was so agonizingly striking. So easy to see that I refused to acknowledge it at first, even. (135) Essek: The more I begin to see Beauregard, yourself return with these markings- I've only just recently learned to trust. It's hard to begin to mistrust so quickly.

Where there's a theory that it might stem from the Dynasty's training for echo knights and dunamancers (when we've heard Essek tell Caleb that the training is comparable to that of scourgers), and we even see the echo knight in Zadash react very strongly to the word "trust":

(13) Mollymauk: We just need to know who we can trust and who we can't. Thuron: You cannot trust anybody in this city. You cannot trust yourselves. Anyone who has not bound themselves. They are the enemy.

Other context and info gives us that consecution and worshipping the Luxon and following the umavi-written "system of pure faith" created from their interpretation of the beacons (as EGtW dictates the Luxon is canonically silent and unconscious) is required for people to hold Dynasty political/spiritual/military office and influence, to work for the theocratic government (comprised of the 12 noble religious den families), and that dunamancy and the Dynasty's dunamis research is only accessible to those working for the government.

And it seems like Essek hints at unattractive consequences to others discovering he's been lying about his faith (and/or the dangerous nature of his career):

(131) Essek: I just know that I've also survived this long, weaving the intricacies of deceit like I have, by knowing how best to keep myself out of the complications as best as I can.

Finally, we have Essek's relationship with punishment and pain, alongside the Dynasty's systematic religious corporal punishment:

(57) In the shadows there look to be multiple figures. Some human, some ogre-ish with more reinforced bars, drow. Emaciated, beaten. Not looking happy and healthy, but then again, what good Dungeon of Penance would?

(77) ...days of chosen sunlight in which the nightfall is dispelled and the people of Rosohna and Xhorhas bask in the sun. Even those who find pain and challenge in its presence, as it is part of the worship. (EGtW) The Kryn drow who emerged from the shadowed depths of the caverns beneath Xhorhas now endure periods of sunlight as part of their worship. Periods of days, sometimes weeks, will transpire in a state of perpetual evening, enabling the darkness-bound denizens to go about their work. Such periods briefly come to an end to usher in periods of scheduled, mass worship under the sunlight.

(99) Essek: I will take my leave for the night. Thank you for not throwing me into the water. (97) Essek: The pain is somewhat comforting because I am my own punishment. (91) Essek: I have seen those far older than you that have experienced maybe half the pain I see in your eyes. Age isn't everything. Experience is what hardens you, prepares you for the worst. (138) Beau: My essence will haunt you. Essek: And I would deserve it, like I deserve all of the things that haunt me. Jester: Aw, Essek... Essek: Don't- offer me any solace. (141) Essek: Maybe it's time I just found my way. Really began my penance. I've procrastinated long enough in dealing with my sins. I convinced myself I'd be alone for so much of my life. It's hard to say goodbye when I don't feel alone anymore, but… I understand. I understand and accept what I've done.

#essek #essek thelyss #kryn dynasty #kryn #egtw #cr meta #cw religious trauma #den thelyss #verin thelyss #critical role #c2 #campaign 2 #the mighty nein #mighty nein #shadowgast #caleb widogast

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gracieheartspedro · 9 months

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Cool About It

it's here. the third and final part!

joel miller x fem! reader

Description: it's been over a year with joel and some things have just fallen apart. you miss him, more than you'd like to admit. after some time apart, you find yourself at tommy's christmas party. your recent endeavours catch up with you, and joel doesn't like the way it's looking.

Part 3/3

Links for Part 1 Part 2

Word count: 6.8k

Warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, post!outbreak joel, very angsty, age gap, joel being very protective, use of homophobic slang, guy being creepy towards reader, very smutty, unprotected p in v, fingering, oral (f and m receiving), overstimulation, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, pet names

Author's Note: I'm so happy to bring this final part to you beautiful people. I've loved writing this series so much! Thank you for your patience and kindness. please leave feedback, I love hearing from you guys.

Once, I took your medication to know what it's like

And now I have to act like I can't read your mind

I ask you how you're doing and I let you lie

But we don't have to talk about it

I can walk you home and practice method acting

I'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning

Tellin' you it's nice to see how good you're doing

Even though we know it isn't true

“So are you and Joel going to work it out?”

It was a question bearing on your mind for months. You really didn’t want to hear it from Ellie.

You and Joel had officially been broken up for three months after seeing each other for over a year. It was never a concrete thing, the foundation of your relationship was cracked due to some unresolved trauma from both of your pasts. Joel was in the same boat as you when it came to not being able to cope with his grief. His daughter being taken from him so young, the horrors he went through trying to survive the end of the world, and of course the deep and complex relationship he had with Ellie. You had a lot of unsettled trauma from losing your entire family and being alone for most of your life. You also always had this sinking feeling that he was not telling you the full story about the last couple years. He seemed hesitant to discuss how he found Ellie in the first place. You could tell there was some awkward tension and unresolved issues between the two of them. You just wanted to help.

He started drinking a whole lot towards the tail end of the relationship and you weren’t sure why. He’d stumble back home drunk, not even able to kiss you goodnight.

It was getting complicated. He was terrible about communicating his feelings and you were too stubborn to accept you were ever wrong.

Of course, there were good times. Like all of the Saturday nights going out dancing with Tommy and Maria. The game nights with Ellie. Sitting outside on his front porch with nothing but his guitar, making you sing songs only your father would know.

You missed him terribly. But you knew it was for the better. It has to be for the better.

Ellie sits next to you at the annual Christmas party which was hosted by Maria and Tommy. They usually did it at their house, but with a toddler, it just didn’t seem realistic there anymore. So instead, they had it at the large food hall and invited all of Jackson.

You glance over at her, your eyes glazed over from all the alcohol you’d been consuming.

That was another thing. You couldn’t stop drinking, now. It was the only way you could get to sleep at night. You had even started going to the Tipsy Bison every night to get wasted and on some rare occasions, have a guy take you home.

You were almost positive Joel was sleeping with one of the other patrol leaders too, a girl named Kelly. She had made eyes at him before you two got together. You’d seen them around a couple times, just talking and getting close. The first time you saw them, you got wasted at the Bison and threw up your entire breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

It only made you want to get over him faster, so having those guys take you home was a distraction. But you’d never fully admit that.

“I don’t know, kid,” Is all you could think to say to Ellie. Your mind was muddled with stupid emotions and disgusting whiskey.

“He’s nicer when you’re around. Now, he’s just… angry.”

You felt bad. But you couldn’t fall back into that routine with Joel. Fight, makeup, fight again. There was an extreme disconnect in communication. It was exhausting.

You stand up on wobbly legs, “I’m gonna go grab ‘nother drink. You want somethin’?”

Ellie was technically underage but you knew she drank with her friends sometimes. She looked at you with a bit of contempt.

“No, thanks.”

You shrug, sauntering back over to the bar.

You notice a familiar silhouette at the end of the bar, but don’t bother glancing that direction. You knew he was watching you and Ellie talking a second ago, his eyes always trailing you. You didn’t want to look over and see Kelly beside him, so you act like he isn’t even there.

“Another whiskey, pleaseeee,” You beg the bartender standing nearby. He doesn’t look too happy about serving you more, but you had lost all sense of self control about an hour ago and he knew that by the look on your face. He pours you some more dark liquor and sends you on your way.

As soon as you turn to walk away, you spot another familiar face walking directly towards you.

Josh Hall.

He was one of the guys you slept with. He was a nice guy, kinda. He was a know it all, shallow, and a bit arrogant. So maybe not a nice guy.

You slept with him twice, both times when you were drunk. From what you could remember, he didn’t make you cum.

He was only a bit taller than you, blonde hair and blue eyes. He was cute enough to get into your pants. But every time you thought about any other man, you reminded yourself that it wasn’t Joel.

“Hey there,” You try not to slur, “How are ya?”

“Hi beautiful,” He grabs your hand, pulling you in for what you assume is a kiss. You wince, directing his lips to your cheek. He presses his chapped lips against your skin.

“What are you doing?” You ask, trying to avoid the gazes of the people around you. You could feel his eyes on you even from 50 feet away.

“Thought you’d wanna come dance with me,” He has his hand slipping around your waist. You feel a sinking feeling in your stomach. He knew you were drinking, your glass swaying right in front of his face.

Your red flags are raising quickly. Josh never approached you any other times of the day. Never during patrols, never just around town. He only showed interest when you had a glass of liquor in your hand.

“I am actually bringing this drink to someone, so please get off of me,” You lie, trying to get him away.

You had to be patient with a guy like Josh. He could be pushy sometimes, so you had to be firm but sweet. You wouldn’t want to start a stir at a party with a bunch of families, right?

But he wasn’t letting go.

His eyes were piercing into yours. You could tell he was drinking, his eyes a bit glassy like yours. You hadn’t even seen him come into the party. It’s like he just appeared to make you mad.

“Just have one dance with me,” His breath stunk of alcohol and unbrushed plaque. You wanted to vomit.

“No, I need to bring this drink to someone.”

His grip is getting progressively tighter and he’s walking you backward.

“Who? Who’s drink is it? New boyfriend?”

You swallow hard, not knowing who to say.

“It’s for Ellie.”

He smirks, “You givin’ an underage dyke a drink? Don’t think her daddy would like that.”

Something in you flips. Rage. Pure unadulterated rage. Your body doesn’t even give your brain a moment to mull over your next move. You throw the drink on the ground, the glass shattering all over the floor. You step back, finally breaking away from him.

“What did you just fuckin’ say?!”

He releases you, backing up. He had this offended look on his face, like you had kicked a puppy.

Liar.

It made you even more mad.

“What did you say, Josh?” You emphasize his name, never breaking eye contact, “You fuckin’ call her that again I’ll fucking kill you.”

You stomp forward, your hands reaching up to him. You had never snapped so quickly in your life. Something about him saying negative about Ellie made your protective maternal instinct go into overdrive. Ellie meant a lot to you, especially after spending the last year with her and Joel.

Your fingers wrap around his scrawny little throat. He was trying to back away, but a table stopped all his movements. He was pinned.

“You fuckin’ dare talk about her or anyone I fuckin’ know, I will make sure you never utter another wor-“ You feel hands around your waist, pulling you back from possibly choking him out. It almost takes the wind out of you. Your hands let go of his neck, but not without digging your fingernails into his skin.

You are so blindsided, you don’t even know who has a grip on you.

“Hey, hey, stop!” His voice is familiar. Almost Joel’s, but not.

No, because Joel is instead grabbing Josh from the spot you pinned him to. You look back and see Tommy, his face panicked and confused.

You watch as Joel grabs Josh by the shirt, throwing him towards the middle of the dance floor. A bunch of people are standing around watching Josh stumble, trying to gain his composure. The music completely stops, bringing the hall to complete silence. Joel doesn’t give him enough time to stand up straight. You try to push Tommy off of you, but he’s got an iron grip on you.

“What did he say?” Joel yells towards you, gesturing towards Josh. Everyone has completely stopped what they are doing to watch the scene unfold.

You look towards where Ellie is, her face twisted in horror. Jesse stands next to her, his face serious. You know this is probably embarrassing for her, so all the anger leaves your body, replaced with guilt and shame.

“Joel,” You warn, “Please.”

Joel was extremely protective when you two were together. Ever since you two split, he has tried his very hardest to not snap. Once he sees a man’s hands on you, though, he can’t help but let fury fill his entire being. Tonight was no exception except this time, you got violent before he could. Which only meant you had no other choice. You usually keep a calm exterior, trying not to step on anyone’s toes. When you drink, you’re actually sweeter and more complacent.

“What did he say?”

Instead of you saying anything, Maria steps in. She wedges herself between Joel and Josh, making sure neither one of them takes another step.

“Cool it!” She yells, her eyes flying over to you being held back by Tommy.

“He better get his ass out of this tow-“

“Shut it, Joel,” She warns, reaching out for his arm, “Let’s take a walk.”

“‘m not going anywhere,” His voice is booming which sends a chill down your spine, “Get this fucker out of here and away from her.”

He looks towards you, Tommy slowly loosening his grip on your upper body. You wiggle out, trying to steady your breathing. You didn’t even realize that you were panting like a dog.

You’ve completely sobered up. The dizziness you feel is just from adrenaline.

Maria guides Josh to the door, listening to him rant about his side of the story. You look back at Tommy, who’s obviously taken aback by the way you snapped. He’s never seen you so mad.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Tommy. He just said something about Ellie,” You whisper it, trying to ensure Joel didn’t hear. You know well enough that if he found out the words Josh uttered, he would have a pistol between the poor guy’s eyes.

“I think you need to go home and cool down,” Tommy suggests, “This is not the place for that.”

You felt horrible. Everyone’s eyes were still on you. You nod, understanding Tommy’s reasonings for practically kicking you out of the party. He gestures Joel over, grabbing him by the shoulder.

“I’m gonna have someone walk her home,” He nods to you, “Would you be willin’ to or should I ask Jesse?”

Joel shakes his head, “I’ll get her home.”

“I can get home myself,” You retort, trying to regain some sort of control over the situation. You didn’t want Jesse or Joel walking you home, it felt like a walk of shame times a million.

“Get her home safe, Joel,” Tommy remarks, tapping you on the shoulder. He wasn’t giving you an option.

You step over the shattered glass, while Joel guides you to the door. You felt so humiliated, not knowing what face to make at the people who were scowling you. So you keep your head down, grabbing your coat from the chair beside Ellie. Joel is trailing behind you. You look up for a second, meeting Ellie’s brown eyes.

“I’m sorry, kiddo,” You mumble, “For everything.”

She shakes her head, her lips thin, “It’s okay. Get home safe.”

Joel taps your shoulder, nodding his head towards the door. You put your winter coat on, pulling out your hair that’s stuck between it and your thermal.

It was snowing, soft pillows of white ice covering all of Jackson. You breathe out a loud sigh when you get outside, while Joel shuts the dinner hall door.

You didn’t know what to say to him, really. You felt like he shouldn’t have stepped in, but deep down you were glad he did because it probably put the fear of God into Josh. Maybe he won’t ever speak to you again.

When you start on your journey home, you and Joel are silent. You hadn’t spoken much since your separation. You two got into a huge blowout fight in which the both of you said some pretty terrible things to each other. It was the first and last time you yelled at Joel.

“Why can’t I just make my own decisions?”

“You almost got yourself killed! You almost got Ellie killed. How the fuck am I supposed to react? Just let you two back on patrol like nothin’ happened!? No fuckin’ way. You’re not going back out unless I’m with you.”

Your heart was going to beat out of your chest, “I had it under fucking control, Joel! You always find ways to blame me for something! I brought her home. I did. You weren’t fucking there because you were too fucked up to even get up this morning,” You knew that stung, the way his face twisted in disgust, “You’re the last person on Earth to make decisions for me or Ellie.”

You struck a nerve, you could tell by the deadly serious look on his face.

“You don’t know what’s good for, Ellie. Stop actin’ like you fuckin’ do. You have manipulated her to believe she knows what’s good for her. She doesn’t, okay?”

He couldn’t be serious.

“You’re not even her real father, Joel. She is going to remember all the times you shut her down and made her feel like she didn’t have a choice. Is it really worth your pride?”

He slams his fist on the table, “Get the fuck out!”

You accept that as the end of the conversation and the relationship.

You start to walk through the slush, knowing you had a good 15 minute walk home. You felt sick with anxiety.

“How have you been doin’?”

You laugh, “Fuckin’ fantastic, Joel.”

“Yeah me too,” He lies. He clears his throat before continuing, “So, what did he say?”

“Drop it Joel,” You warn, a hiccup coming up your throat, “Let’s just not talk about it ever again.”

“I’ll get it out of ya one day,” He comments, zipping up his jacket some more. You shake your head, chuckling a bit at the absurdity.

“You didn’t have to step in,” You add, “I had it handled. Like I always do.”

His pace picks up, matching yours.

“Wrapping your hands around ‘nother guys throat is not very you, darlin’,” He says, grabbing your arm to halt your next step, “He had to of said something pretty bad for you to throw your drink and choke him out in front of a bunch of people.”

You knew what he was trying to do. He wanted to lure it out of you, but you weren’t caving. He was good at making it seem like there was no choice other than tell him what happened.

“Guess you’ll never know, Miller,” You tug your arm away, “Tommy said you’d walk me home, not interrogate me.”

He huffs, “You are so stubborn.”

You stop mid step, turning to look him in the eye. You couldn’t believe your ears.

“You’re the one to talk, Joel.”

“And you need to quit the drinkin’. Makes you sloppy.”

His tone was condescending and for him to call you out on drinking? No fucking way.

“You sure were sloppy the last couple times I saw you drinkin’. Remember the four patrol shifts you had last summer you couldn’t get to cause you were too fucked up the night before? Or how about a couple weeks ago when you tried to fight that guy at the Bison?”

He takes note of your aggressive tone. You weren’t just going to cower your head and take his shit.

Maybe you were using the drinking to not think about the fact that you missed his stupid ass. Maybe it was to medicate the anxiety that rattled your bones every time he slipped your mind. Either way, he was such a hypocrite for trying to use that against you. Make it seem like he wasn’t doing that same thing when you were still together.

“I’ve quit all the drinkin’… and hey, he called you a name,” He mumbles, “Had to put him in his place.”

You furrow your eyebrows at his statement, “What do you mean he called me a name?”

He continues to walk, almost trying to physically dodge the question. But if he was going to be persistent, you were going to be, too.

“Joel-“

“Garrett said you were whoring yourself out to him and a couple of the other guys. Called you a slut,” He confesses, not looking towards you at all.

You felt sick to your stomach. Garrett was a guy you had patrolled with, a guy who seemed really nice to your face. The same guy Joel gave a black eye to.

“I’ve only slept with like, two other people.”

You could tell it rattled him a bit. It was a statement he couldn’t be mad at, really. He was a man with needs, too.

“Well, the word’s gettin’ around. He said you told him he had the best dick you’ve ever had,” He laughed as the words slipped his tongue, “God knows that’s ain’t true.”

You push your hands into your pockets, “I never slept with him. It’s only been Josh and…”

You stop yourself, instantly feeling sick to your stomach at the next name that almost came out your mouth. It was something you regretted so deeply in every fiber of your being. Something you tried to forget the very second the interaction.

“Who else?”

“No one,” You say, trying to steady your voice, “None of your business.”

“It was Jesse, wasn’t it?”

Caught.

You cough, clearing your throat. You never wanted to talk about this to anyone, let alone Joel. You were desperate and no other guys really made you feel appreciated.

The wind picks up, which causes the snow to billow towards your face and take your breath away.

“Can we just,” You shake your head, trying to get the hair out of your face, “Can we just discuss this when we get to my house?”

He leads the way, moving quickly. You follow close behind, almost using his body as a shield from the snowstorm. When you finally see your house through your frosted lashes, you feel some sense of relief.

Joel walks up to your front porch, gesturing to you to lead the way. You knew you’d have to light a fire in the living room and warm up the small abode, so once you open the door, you rush to your fireplace. You stack wood, not taking much mind to Joel who’s kicking off his shoes and removing his coat.

You didn’t want to do this with him. You didn’t want to discuss anything, explain yourself, or hash out any unresolved bullshit. After the night you had, you wanted to carry yourself straight to bed.

“Want help?”

You crouch down, flicking a match into the pit, igniting the old coals.

“No, I got it, Joel.”

He huffs, sitting down on your slouchy red couch. Nothing in your house was particularly nice, but you kept it clean and tidy. Everything had a spot, except for the man taking up space before you.

“So,” He slaps his hands on his knees, “You want to explain or?”

“No Joel,” You respond, “I don't feel like I owe you an explanation, truthfully. I honestly don’t wanna rehash all this shit with you.”

His lips tighten into a half smirk, “Okay, that’s fine.”

Silence fills the room again. You were shocked he didn’t press it further, but a bit relieved.

“Just wanna ask one thing,” He grumbles. You stand up straight, shimmying your coat down your arms.

“What?”

“Was his dick the best one you’ve ever had?”

You feel like all the air has left your body.

“What?”

“Jesse. Josh. Were they the best you’ve ever had?”

Hearing their names made you cringe. You knew your answer, but you wonder if you should indulge him in the truth.

He knew it already, but he wanted to hear it from your lips. The haze and exhaustion from the crazy evening makes the confession slip from your lips.

“Joel,” You whisper, “You know damn well they aren’t shit compared to you.”

It’s like you blinked and he’s on you. His hands slide up your waist, grabbing your hips and pulling you into a bruising kiss. You don’t pull away because this is what you’ve been wanting.

The sex with Joel was like nothing else. Maybe your relationship was rocky. Maybe you hated the way he spoke to you sometimes. Maybe you hated the way he tried to control every little thing.

But the sex made it all worth it.

The way his hands molded around your body. His lips trailing up and down from your neck to your calves. He knew your body better than you probably knew it yourself. He never walked away from an encounter without making you cum several times. He could play you like his guitar.

You two are falling all over your furniture to make it to the couch. He sits down, holding you close while you straddle his thighs. He’s not letting up, his kisses feverish and hurried.

You pull away to catch your breath. His pupils are huge and his lips are already swollen.

“What are we doing?” You whisper, using your thumb to brush across his pink lips.

“This is what we do, baby,” He grabs your ass, pulling you flush with his crouch, “We fight and fuck. That’s all we do.”

You lean up, grinding down on his growing bulge.

“I shouldn’t want to, but fuck,” You throw your head back, trying to ease the throbbing you feel, “I always want you, Joel.”

“I always want you too, sweetheart,” His hand finds the back of your neck, rubbing circles into the sides while you grind yourself on his lap, “I don’t want any other pussy but yours. No one else compares.”

You smile in sick pleasure, “We are so fuckin’ toxic, Joel Miller.”

He laughs, pulling your head forward. Your eyes meet his and it’s a sudden realization that you two are just actually insane. That after all the bullshit you put each other through, your horniness always wins. He wants you just as much as you want him, and yet you two can never figure out how to work problems out like actual adults.

“Tell me you don’t fuckin’ like it that way,” He trails a kiss up your neck to earlobe, “And I’ll stop right now. Leave you alone forever. Keep your dirty little secret that you like to fuck guys half your age.”

The rise Joel Miller can get out of you should be studied. He knows exactly how to push every button you’ve ever had, even the one’s you didn’t know existed. The idea of people knowing you fucked Jesse makes your stomach twist, especially since he was Ellie’s friend.

You and Joel’s age gap never really bothered you. Maybe it was because he was older than you, but he didn’t feel that much older than you. You felt ancient with Jesse and even Josh. Joel made you feel like you were on the same level with a man.

You stop grinding on him, grabbing a handful of his hair and pulling him back to meet your gaze. He’s smiling a shit eating grin, knowing you’re pissed.

“You’re the guy who’s fucking people half your age,” You lift yourself a bit, looking down at him with half lidded eyes, “And you flaunt it. You love having me as your little play thing. Y-”

“And you fuckin’ love it.”

“I’m talking,” You shush him, “You are going to let me talk.”

You grab his belt undoing it like you used to almost every night, “You’re going to sit back like a good boy, and let me remind you why this is the only pussy you want to fuck.”

Joel has never seen you like this. It’s like the distance between you two gave you time to gain more confidence. You tested him now, and he kind of liked it. He’d never say but he loved when you were bratty to him. Sure, before you were a little smart ass, but you were practically dominating him. It was a good change of pace.

“Talk ‘bout toxic, baby girl,” He groans, “You know I can’t sit back and be a good boy.”

You use one hand to reach into his pants and grab his hard on.

“You’re going to learn today,” You smile, “Because if you don’t, you’ll walk home with blue balls and you can call Kelly over to fuck you.”

He chuckles a bit, “Sounds like you’re jealous.”

You stop your actions, looking at his smug fucking face.

“You literally just interrogated me about how I fucked half of Jackson,” You spit, “I can continue adding to the tallies. Have you watch me whore myself out to all of your patrol partners.”

“You ain-”

“Maybe I’ll get even bolder,” You continue, “Maybe I’ll even try to fuck the other Miller boy.”

You were completely fibbing. You’d never cross that line. You loved Maria and you respected her more than any other person in Jackson. You just really wanted to get under Joel’s skin.

And you quickly realize you did.

He flips you on your back and cages you under his arms.

“You’re a fuckin’ dirty slut,” He is grabbing at your pants, yanking them down. Your jeans were skin tight and wet, but it took no time at all for him to tear them off your body, “You ain’t in charge here.”

“Let me up,” You demand, pushing at his chest. He wasn’t budging, he was on a mission. He tears off your underwear, exposing your wet slit. You didn’t even realize how dripping you were for him.

“Look at you,” He teases, “Fuckin’ pathetic. Tryin’ to say you’d fuck my brother?”

He shakes his head, using his fingers to trace up and down your slit. You wanted to scream out, but your mind goes blank. You were quaking with anticipation. You surrender to him pinning you against the couch. You’d get him back eventually.

“He’d never fuck a slut like you,” He continues, “No, he doesn’t know how to handle someone like you.”

“And you do?”

“I’ve been at it for awhile,” He sticks a single finger in you, making a squelching sound as he does, “Think ‘m gettin’ pretty good at ruinin’ you. Puttin’ you in your place.”

You finally moan out in pleasure, which makes his face twist in satisfaction.

“Fuckin’ Christ, I’ve missed how tight you are,” He groans, “Squeezin’ my fingers and cock so good.”

You’re practically soaking the couch with how wet you are already. All the build up and smack talk really put you in bind, his fingers driving you absolutely wild.

He eases out of you, tracing your body to begin lifting off your shirt. He throws your shirt across the room, noticing you were actually wearing a padded bra. You smile at his realization.

“Found one of these,” You gesture, toying with the straps, “Bet you’d never see the day.”

You had gotten used to never wearing a bra and Joel usually enjoyed it that way. You could never find a comfortable one and all your old ones were ragged and gross. On a recent patrol, you found a red bra in your size in an abandoned home. You stole it, tucking it carefully in your backpack to try on back home. Lucky enough, it fit and made your boobs sit better than they ever have.

“Jesus Christ,” He mutters, lining the bra with his fingers, “As pretty as it is, it needs to go.”

You reach around your back, undoing it without another word. As soon as it is off, his fingers make work at pebbling your nipples. He smacked one with a gentle open hand. You squeak at the impact, watching Joel’s eyes revel at your bare body. He loved seeing you like this, crumbling under his touch.

He props himself up on his knee which is wedged between your thighs. He pulls his shirt over his head, discarding it on the coffee table next to him. His buttons are already undone after you found yourself with your hands down his pants, earlier. He pulls those down too, letting them pool around his ankles.

“For being a brat,” He nudges you, making you move your legs and plant them on the ground. You sit up, his hand ripping you off of your spot on the couch. He positions you between his legs, his cock standing up waiting for you. You sit back on your heels, enjoying the view.

“You’re gonna try to be a good girl and suck me off.”

You smile eagerily, slowly running your hands up his thighs and to the base of his cock. Instead of getting straight to it, you bring the head of his cock to your lips and kiss it softly. You toy with the idea of completely ignoring his demands, but you come to the conclusion that you’d probably get nothing if you did that. And you wanted him so bad. You thought about this moment for so long.

“Stop playin’,” He groans, watching you with his arms laying across the back of your couch. He looked like one of those statues you saw in old textbooks when you were a teenager. The ones you’d see at an old art museum scuplted from marble. The ones with the small dicks. That’s truly the only thing that differentiated the two. Joel was massive.

“I’m not playing,” You disagree, “Shush.”

Before you can continue your tease, he grabs the top of your head. He is usually pretty assertive, but good God, he was not letting you get away with anything. You widen your lips, taking his cock into your mouth. Instead of progressing down his shaft slowly, he makes you take it fully down your throat. It causes you to gag a bit. You pull back, only for him to push you down again.

You grip onto his thighs, digging your nails in a bit. You knew you would probably leave marks with how hard you were pressing into his skin. He winces, but continues to practically face fuck you.

“You don’t tell me to shush, little girl,” He moans, watching your saliva drench his cock. He finally lets you pull up off him, holding your face in the process, “You hear me? You take this cock like a good girl.”

“Yes,” You manage to say, your throat already hurting from taking him in.

“Yes what?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good, now come sit on my face.”

You oblige, standing up to let him reposition himself.

You two have done this maybe twice. Each time you practically suffocated him, but he fucking loved every second of lapping you up. You knew that you were in for a ride with the way he was toying with you.

He lays on his back, his hands keen on pulling your legs up to his shoulders. Your ass is positioned on his chest, his face between your thighs. You look down at him, sitting up straight before you ease down, letting your pussy take up the bottom half of his face.

He dives in instantly, his mouth hungrily devouring your pussy. You scream out, letting your body relax against him. His facial hair brushes across your folds and inner thighs while his tongue begins tracing your insides. He stops at your clit, flattening his tongue and pressing forward. You couldn’t control yourself, sinking yourself down further onto him. His nose nudges your folds before he runs his mouth down your slit again, so his nose is now pressed against your clit. He moans into you, the vibrations sending you into ecstasy.

You cum, your juices flowing down his face and your legs. He is moaning so loud, mewling at the fact that you never warned him you were about to cum.

He taps your thighs, advising you to get off of him. You shakingly remove yourself from his face, standing up to look down at him. He was so hard and his lips and beard were soaked with your cum.

“You fuckin’ squirted on me,” He laughs, sitting up. You felt kind of embarrassed, like you couldn’t even contain yourself for more than 2 minutes. “I’ll forgive you since it was hot. No cummin’ without permission.”

“Okay, sorry.”

Even though you weren’t sorry.

Your legs were practically numb and still quaking from your orgasm. You’re breathing heavily, trying to regain your composure. He notices your quivering and starts pulling you into his lap. You widen your legs, mounting his thick thighs. You look down at his cock, it sliding so perfectly between your pussy lips. He was a fucking dream.

He doesn’t even say anything, just watching you try to catch your breath.

“Relax baby,” He mumbles, “We haven’t even gotten started, yet.”

He grabs his cock, stroking it a bit before having you lift off of his thighs. He eases you up and onto the head of his dick. He spits into his hand, coating his shaft with it.

One thing about Joel, is he’s still the biggest you’ve ever had. No one ever got close to him.

The stretch makes you moan out in pure euphoria. You missed it so much. It was something you craved almost every night.

“Fuck,” You whimper, “Never gets old.”

He laughs at your admission, “Likewise.”

He snaps his hips against yours, settling into a slower pace. He was dragging it out, letting your walls become accustomed to him again. After a minute of slow strokes, he picks up his pace. He repositions, kneeling with his one leg extended out to the floor. You’re lifted up in the air partially, grinding down as he meets your motions with his strokes. Your hands are wrapped around his neck, your fingers finding his hair. His hands and grappling at your sides while you two moan in unison.

You two were finally on the same page, not bickering, just fucking out your feelings. You felt the aggression, resentment, and fear dwindling away from you as you sweat out the brutal pace he’s bringing to the table.

“I don’t want anyone else,” He sighs in between his cock hitting you at the perfect angle, “I only want this.”

You don’t think to hard about it, whimpering your response.

“Please let me cum. Please.”

“So pretty when you beg.”

He’s drilling into you at this point, your tits bouncing right into his face. You lazily throw your head back, letting him take one of your nipples into his mouth. You’re so overly sensitive, you don’t know what to say other than beg him to let you release.

“Fuck Joel, I’m gonna cum. Please, let me cum.”

He releases your tit with a pop, “Cum for me, baby.”

After two more strokes, you’re falling apart in his arms. He wraps himself around you, fucking you through the second orgasm.

He’s a whimpering mess, chasing his own release.

“Fuck, baby, fuck.”

“Cum for me, Joel. Moan out for me.”

His deep and guttral moan sends shockwaves through your body. You could feel his cum release inside you, while his arms grow tighter around you. After he finishes, he lays you back onto the arm of the couch. His cock still rests inside you, twitching at every little movement your hips made.

He swipes his forehead for sweat, marveling at you. He looks so endearing, like he didn’t just fuck your brains out and call you a bunch of names. The thought makes you giggle.

“What?”

You shake your head, touching his chest with your fingers, “You’re just handsome.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

You swat him while he slowly eases out of you. You whine a bit, letting the heat from the fireplace warm your body as oppose to Joel’s body heat.

He stands up, abandoning you on the couch as he picks up his discarded clothes. You prop yourself up, trying to sit up but your body feels like jello.

Your really didn’t want to watch him go.

“You should stay.”

His back is turned away from you. He freezes as he grabs his shirt from the coffee table where it landed.

He clears his throat, “Why?”

“Because I don’t want you to leave.”

It was true. You wanted to figure it out. You wanted so badly for this to change everything. But it was just sex. Exactly how this trainwreck started.

He starts to get dressed. You didn’t want to take that as his answer, but deep down you knew this is how things worked. You’d been through it with Joel before. You just had to wait for Ellie to come in and call you his “lady friend” and have him demand you “go get dressed”. It was the same thing every time. You thought it meant something but it really didn’t.

Once he slips his shirt over his head, he walks back to sit next to your naked frame. He brings his hand up to trace your leg, which is perfectly nudged up against him.

You really don’t want to believe all the things running through your mind. You craved an explanation.

“You said you only wanted this, Joel,” You grab a blanket from the back of the couch to cover yourself. You could tell he was at war with his thoughts, “Why can’t we start again? Do I seriously not mean anything to you?”

He realizes you’re pleading with him. He felt so guilty and it was written all over his face.

“Of course you mean somethin’ to me,” He acknowledges, “But we can’t keep doin’ what we were doin’. We always end up screamin’ bout somethin’ stupid. I don’t want to make you unhappy. You deserve to be happy.”

You contemplate for a moment, unsure how to respond.

“If being with you means screamin’ about something stupid and fighting over patrols and drinking too much and bickering over Ellie’s future,” You huff out, trying to not let the hitch in your throat become obvious, “Then I want it. I want it all. All the shit, all the fights. I want it because it’s with you.”

He doesn’t say anything immediately. The silence was deafening.

“We can try,” He mutters, “But we gotta stop tryin’ to fix everythin’ with sex. We gotta like… talk about things.”

You laugh out loud, noting his seriousness. You two were seriously thinking the same things.

“Can we talk about our problems, like, during the sex?”

You were completely joking. You wait for his response, but it comes with him shaking his head. You wrap your arm around his shoulders, pulling him in. Your boobs press against his now clothed chest. You feel his hands slide up and down your sides. You groan in pleasure, his touch sending chills down your spine. You wanted it like this. Forever.

He clears his throat, “Well if I’m sticking around… round two?”

THE END.

taglist: @pedrotonin @mysingularitybts @harriedandharassed @paleidiot @misatoad @lottieellz101 @cool-iguana @bbyanarchist @am-3-thyst

#joel miller smut #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #the last of us #joel miller the last of us #cool about it #joel miller one shot #pedro pascal #joel miller tlou #tlou smut #tlou fanfiction #tlou x reader #the last of us smut

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imaginedanvrs · 3 months

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encrypted relations

part 10 l masterlist

summary: yelena belova x reader. when natasha takes you under her wing, she becomes like family, and the last thing you want is to lose that. but when you meet her younger sister who you know is off limits, you have to decide between what you really want and hope for minimal damage

word count: 4.5k

warnings: mentions of previous abusive relationship, physical and mental trauma recovery

a/n: happy valentines ig <3 thank you all for your comments and support, here's the final chapter :)

The steady beeps and flow of your breathing through a mask seemed loud in Yelena’s ears as she sat by your side. She had hardly moved in the days you had occupied the hospital bed, even pacing outside the operating theatres for the long hours you spent in there. The blonde had been told by nurses, doctors, Natasha and Kate that it would do her a lot of good to go home and get some rest, that you would be closely monitored when she wasn’t there. Yet Yelena couldn’t bring herself to so much as leave the ward.

“She’s stable, but right now our main concern is what her mobility will be like when she wakes up given the damage to her legs and back. It’s hard to predict at this time,” the doctor told Natasha as the pair stood outside of your room.

“When will she wake up?” The redhead asked as looked through the window to where Yelena had fallen asleep on the chair. Her neck would be sore when she woke up.

“Whenever she’s ready.”

“Okay, thank you,” Natasha nodded, understanding that there wasn’t much more they could do for you at that moment in time apart from administering the right medication. The rest was down to you.

Natasha winced as she watched her sister suddenly jolt awake from her brief sleep. She rubbed the side of her neck as she brought her chair slightly closer to your bed and examined the monitors for a few moments for anything different. The redhead had been trying to give Yelena some space in the previous days given that she wasn’t accepting anyone's company except for yours, but Natasha knew it wasn’t healthy to let her sister carry on alone.

She knocked on the door gently before she entered, giving Yelena a small smile she didn’t get back. Natasha pulled up the spare chair next to the blonde, sitting in silence for a few minutes as she took in your state. You were better, though the damage was still prominent.

“Kate wants to come and see her,” Natasha finally said.

“No one’s stopping her,” Yelena was quick to say.

“You don’t seem to like anyone else being in here,” the redhead commented. Yelena didn’t respond. It was somewhat true. “You can’t shut everyone out, Yelena.”

“Why did you not want us to be together?” The blonde asked as she watched the steady rise and fall of your chest. Natasha followed her eyeline, knowing Yelena was going to ask that question sooner or later.

“It’s not that I didn’t want it to happen, I just wanted you both to be careful,” Natasha sighed. “You’re new to relationships and y/n’s only seen the bad side to them. That doesn’t make you incompatible but I thought you both would’ve seen the sense in going slow instead of skipping straight to sex.” Yelena listened carefully to her sister, understanding her point. It made sense in hindsight, as most things did, though at the time there had been a part of both of you that knew it too.

“And besides, I thought you guys would tell me about something like that. I never expected you to think you had to sneak around and hide it from me. You should never have to keep something like that a secret, especially from your sister,” Natasha explained clearly as she looked at Yelena who nodded slowly.

“I wanted to tell you,” she whispered.

“I’m your sister but I’m her friend. I should’ve been looking out for both of you,” Natasha admitted.

“You’ll have the chance when she wakes up,” Yelena stated adamantly, not allowing anything to shake her belief that you would be okay.

“Yeah,” Natasha agreed.

“You recognised Ruslana,” Yelena started slowly. “But not from the red room and not by her name. Who was she to y/n?” She asked, the question had been weighing on her since their meeting.

“As much as I wish it wasn’t true, she’s who she said she was,” Natasha said honestly. “It wasn’t a healthy relationship by any means, she had y/n do the hacking for the red room - not that anyone knew that at the time,” she explained.

“She never told me that.”

“She never told anyone.”

“I am glad I killed her,” Yelena said after a steady sigh.

“I’m glad you did too,” Natasha admitted. “Even if it was reckless,” she added. Yelena rolled her eyes but her sister didn’t miss the smile that settled on her lips. “I’m going to get you some lunch,” Natasha told her as she stood up. “I’ll get enough for Kate too.” Yelena nodded and pulled out her phone to text the young archer.

“I miss you,” Yelena told your sleeping form. “I wish I knew about Rae, maybe it would have helped. But I understand why you didn’t tell me,” she said. You took several supported breaths. “I wish I was more honest as well,” she admitted. “But we’ll have time for all that when you’re awake,” she said adamantly, though the continuous beeps from the machines attached to you worked to dig doubt into Yelena’s mind.

“Please wake up,” she whispered, her voice breaking as her eyes clouded. “I missed you so much, please don’t stay away much longer.”

The light was the first thing your brain registered when you woke up. It was far too bright, a painful contrast to the blanket of darkness you had rested under for the past week. You kept your eyes squeezed shut as you allowed the rest of your senses to adjust and take in your surroundings, the steady beeping next to you being too loud for one thing. The bed you were on was far more comfortable than your last one and the room was pleasantly cool, as though someone knew that was your preferred sleeping conditions.

The pain was the next thing you experienced and it made the discomfort of the lights jump to the back of your mind in comparison. It was everywhere and seemed to extend right into the centre of your bones without pity. Your skin felt as though it was tearing with every slight movement and the whimper you gave only scratched at your dry throat as you grasped at the bedsheets and stumbled upon a warm hand resting on your bed. You forced your eyes open just as Yelena did, meeting the grey orbs that you had hardly left your mind in your time apart. Your breath hitched as her features brightened at you.

“Hi,” she said as an anxious smile flickered across her lips.

“Hi,” you whispered, your throat protesting. Yelena grabbed the jug next to your bed and poured a glass of water, not hesitating to bring it up to your lips to aid you to take the water with steady sips until you had enough to ease the ache in your throat. “Thank you,” you said, unsure of how to even start on everything else you wanted to say. “Have you been here long?”

“I haven’t left,” she told you.

“How long has it been?” You frowned. “You must be tired.”

“I’m sure it is nothing compared to you,” Yelena said, noticing your pain. You glanced down at your covered body, unsure if you wanted to see what lied beneath. “I will get a doctor,” she announced but the moment she stood up you reached out for her wrist and held it tightly.

“Wait,” you said, not wanting to wait any longer to fix the regrets you had become all too aware of during your last consciousness. “I’m sorry,” you started but Yelena cut you off as she sat back down.

“Don’t say that,” she insisted, though it sounded like a plea. “I know you didn’t mean what you said at the party.”

“I just want to explain,” you winced.

“I read the letter,” she told you.

“Oh?” You remembered that letter vividly. “Right,” you nodded, recalling how it had ended. You hadn’t written that letter with the intention of recalling it to the blonde word for word, it was meant to be a guide to help you navigate your mind. You hadn’t planned for Yelena to be on that journey with you. So where did that leave you?

“Can I take you out some time?” Yelena suddenly asked with an air of uncertainty that you weren’t ever going to be used to seeing on her. Despite the pain, you smiled.

“I would like that,” you told her and saw her shoulders instantly relax. She shifted her wrist so that she could hold your hand in hers, a gesture that hadn’t lost any of its perfection. “Where do people usually go on first dates?” You asked with an easy grin that Yelena mirrored.

“I was hoping you would know,” she countered knowingly.

“Maybe a cat rescue centre?” You suggested. Yelena rolled her eyes and dropped your hand with a huff.

“Screw you,” she said, though it was clear she was suppressing a smile. You chuckled at the sight and felt a bloom of pain arise in your chest. “Can I get someone now?” You nodded, letting her go under the certainty that she would return.

You rested your head back and tried to focus on anything but the increasing pain across your body, remembering all too vividly how you had come by your injuries. You didn’t want to think about Rae, especially now that Yelena’s role in your life was finally beginning to feel more concrete, but your past had caught up to you in a way you couldn’t have ever anticipated.

Rae was a widow and nothing you ever had was real. You were just a means to an end for her to use to support what Yelena and Natasha had suffered from. You frowned, refusing to let yourself fall into that spiral of guilt that never did any good for anyone. Sure, you had indirectly caused harm, but with S.H.I.E.L.D and Yelena, you had played a significant part in helping the heroes and the later acts had been your choice. That was enough.

“Miss, l/n,” a doctor greeted as she stepped into the room with Yelena close behind. “How are you feeling?” She asked with a genuine smile.

“Bruised,” you undermined slightly in the blonde’s presence, not wanting her to know how bad the pain really was.

“We’ll increase your dosage so that you can be more comfortable,” she told you as she read your vitals and the information written out on the board above you. “Your body’s been through a lot,” she informed as she began to explain the numerous operations you had gone through and how your body was expected to recover, given the chance and what condition it was in at that time. “Could I ask you to raise your left leg?” She asked. You felt Yelena shift next to you as you strained to lift the heavy limb and succeeded, after several moments' effort, to get it a few inches above the bed and repeated it with the other. You were unable to raise either of them as high as you could prior to your injuries, but you were well aware of how lucky you were to be able to move it at all.

“That’s good to see,” the doctor told you honestly, withholding from the fact there had been great apprehension as to whether or not you would be able to accomplish the movement. “Can you try and sit on the edge of the bed with your feet over?” She continued though that proved to be harder. Your back burned in protest as you twisted it and you had to use your hands to help drag your legs across the mattress until they fell over the edge and you suddenly felt very unsure of your ability to support yourself. You gripped onto the bed as tight as you could while Yelena stood by your side with her arms outstretched ready to catch you should you fall.

“Now when you’re ready, see if you can stand up.” You breathed out and peered over the side of the bed with some apprehension. You suddenly felt quite high up. Tentatively, you pulled yourself closer to the edge until your feet hovered just an inch from the floor.

“I’ve got you,” Yelena reassured. You smiled at her with little confidence and finally pushed yourself off with a soft pat on the floor. You didn’t let go of the bedrail as you steadied yourself, leaning the majority of your body weight on the bed instead of your own two feet until you let go. You stood for several seconds unsupported until the muscles in your legs gave out beneath you. True to her word, Yelena caught you just as you toppled, hooking her arms underneath yours and immediately guiding you back to the bed where you sat in defeat. The doctor mentioned something about physiotherapy, but you weren’t really listening. Your legs were numb again, but it proved difficult to be too disheartened when you felt Yelena rub soothing circles on your waist as she listened to the doctor intently.

“And we’ll monitor your progress to see if you need any additional support,” the doctor said, noticing that she didn’t have your full attention.

“Like what?” Yelena enquired.

“Leg braces can be of great help.” You nodded absently. You didn’t want a brace.

“Thank you,” you muttered towards the nurse, wanting the meeting to end. She seemed to take the cue and departed with a sympathetic smile. Once she closed the door behind her, you looked at the blonde and patted the space in the small bed behind you. A smile graced Yelena’s lips as she moved to the other side of the bed and you hauled your legs up again, settling on your side as she slipped in beside you. You didn’t waste a second in stretching your bandaged arms out around her as she did the same. It was easier to ignore the pain when it meant you were able to hold the blonde again and a small price to pay to feel her steady breathing above you.

“I will help you walk too,” Yelena told you with a certainty you always associated her with.

“Tomorrow,” you replied. “Let's just stay like this for now.” Though Yelena wanted to help you get better as quickly as possible, she couldn’t decline the offer to stay with you in the way she had been craving. Instead, she rested her chin on top of your head until you both fell into a peaceful slumber like you had numerous times before.

“Oh my god,” Kate rushed out once she stepped into the room.

“Hey,” you smiled at the sight of your best friend and sat up slightly.

“I can’t believe you did that!” She exclaimed. “That was so dumb!” She continued, giving you the same frantic look she did after drinking a dozen red bulls in order to get through a twenty four hour stake out. “That was so so dumb and I’m so mad at you,” she told you as she enveloped you in a tight hug and clambered onto the bed beside you. You chuckled with a wince you didn’t want the archer to see as her hands caught the edge of the strike on your back. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” she said as she held you tight.

“I won’t be if you keep squeezing the air out of me,” you told her with a grin. She pulled back with a start and gave you a sheepish smile.

“Sorry I just…you scared me,” she admitted. “I shouldn’t have left you alone. I’m so-”

“Don’t you dare,” you interrupted. “It was my choice to leave. It scared me when I thought they had you,” you pointed out, seeing the comfort Kate drew from your words. “Worthit though.”

“Really?” Kate frowned as she glanced at the different bandages across you.

“Yeah. The way I see it, I tried to save your ass so now you owe me so much pizza,” you shrugged and Kate began to grin.

“Except you didn’t really save either of us,” she said matter of factly.

“I still almost got turned into minced meat for you!” You huffed. Kate was beyond glad that you were still able to make light of something that could have destroyed other people. She knew you were still hurting, but it was good to see you hadn’t been entirely broken by what had happened.

“Not just me,” she smirked. “I heard Yelena’s been in here a lot.” You hummed simply, suppressing your smile.

“I sent her home to have a shower.” Kate chuckled at that.

“Are you guys good?” She asked except the way she was looking at you indicated that she already knew the answer.

“We’re going on a date,” you informed with a grin that Kate quickly mirrored and launched forwards to give you another, lighter hug.

“Finally,” she beamed.

“Yeah, yeah,” you dismissed with an eye roll as she pulled back.

“I’m happy for you,” she told you with a sincerity that made her eyes glimmer. “For you both,” she added.

“Thanks, Kate. For everything. I don’t know where I’d be without you,” you told your best friend.

“Somewhere really lame I bet,” she shrugged and pulled up a chair next to your bed to give you some space. “So I know you’re happy with Yelena and all that sappy stuff,” she began. “But you do realise that as best friends we’re obligated to discuss this latest addition to the whole crazy ex thing.” You knew that there was never any genuine pressure to discuss the most recent events that had unfolded with Rae, but you were done trying to pretend like anything to do with her never happened.

“Well for starters, she’s a widow,” you said.

“Dude, what the fuck?!”

“You’re doing well, y/n,” the therapist encouraged once she helped you up from the heap on the floor. You bite your tongue as you clung to the bar to prevent yourself from snipping that it didn’t feel that way. It didn’t feel like you were making much progress at all despite working your leg muscles as best you could in the past few days. “I think we should call it a day for this session and pick it up again tomorrow,” she suggested. You didn’t want to stop. You wanted to keep going but you knew the physiotherapist had a lot of other patients to attend to and you couldn’t take her attention away from them.

Yelena emerged from where she had been watching from the sidelines and brought your wheelchair with you to help you into it. You almost swatted her hand away to do it yourself, but you needed the support and you couldn’t brush her off. You went back to your ward in silence as Yelena commented on your progress, apparently sharing the belief that you were making good progress. You still couldn’t walk unsupported and you could only take several steps at a time before falling. Yelena and Kate were amazing for being so supportive, but it had always been Natasha who had taught you skills you needed the most. You hadn’t seen her since that night at the party and you were beginning to believe it would be a while until you would again.

“We don’t have to wait until you’re walking, we could go to a restaurant that is wheelchair accessible,” Yelena rambled as she helped you back into the bed.

“You’re not getting tired of waiting on me, are you Belova?” You quipped.

“I’ve been waiting a long time,” she muttered back with a fond smile. You hummed in agreement. “I’ve done some research to see which restaurants would be best,” she continued. Of course she has. “But I want to visit them myself to fact check,” she told you matter of factly. “Because sometimes it’s not as good as they say and-”

“I love you,” you said suddenly. Yelena’s eyes widened as she took in your words. “Sorry, you don’t have to say it back and I know you kind of already knew it because of the letter and if history has taught us anything I probably shouldn’t be moving so fast anyway but it just felt right to tell you because-”

“I love you too,” she cut you off confidently. “I think I have loved you for a long time,” she added. You pulled her forwards slightly and she took the cue to lean down and kiss you softly, cherishing the moment’s intimacy that you had both waited so long to display. It was new territory for you both, yet it felt like the most natural thing in the world. “And I would like to go on a date sooner rather than later,” she smiled.

“Just don’t stay away for too long,” you replied, still holding her hand as she pulled away.

“Never,” Yelena promised, leaving your room with a glowing feeling in her chest that she was allowed to embrace for the first time in her life. She owed that to you.

Similarly, you lay with a content grin on your lips for a while as you reflected on every moment you had with Yelena and couldn’t help but anticipate what was to come. Though if she was constantly willing to go the extra mile, you should be too. With that in mind, you dragged your feet over the side of the bed and braced against the sides as you raised yourself to your feet, unaware of the emerald eyes that watched you from the hallway.

You took a supported step as you clung to the bed, feeling your legs shake in protest but unwilling to back down just yet. You carried on regardless and successfully reached the end of your bed so you could set your target on the window just two steps away. Two steps was nothing, right? Wrong. The moment you advanced towards the window the numbness took over both legs in their entirety and you toppled to the floor without Yelena being there to help you up. Someone else was though.

“I thought you were only supposed to do that with a nurse around,” Natasha stated as she appeared by your side. You looked up at her with a badly concealed surprise as she held her hand out to you. You took it, knowing you were unable to get up on your own.

“As if you would follow that advice,” you muttered, uncomfortable at the tension that filled the room.

Natasha didn't reply to that. “They said you’re doing well,” she said instead as she helped you sit down. She didn’t pull up a chair, opting to hover by your side with her arms across her chest.

“Apparently,” you shrugged, glancing down at your lap. You had never found yourself struggling to make conversation with the redhead before, even though there was something you both needed to talk about.

“Yelena said you guys are gonna go out some time.” You kept your eyes glued to your lap as you swallowed a lump that had suddenly formed in your throat.

“Yeah, is that…yeah,” you said slowly, wanting to ask for her approval but too afraid to hear her reject it.

“I’m glad-” she began but you cut her off before you could take in what she was trying to say.

“I’m sorry, Nat. I know you told me not to date your sister and I never thought we would actually- I mean I didn’t expect that she would even want to- or that we would end up getting so-”

“Y/n,” Natasha cut off as she sat down next to you. “I had no right to ever tell you Yelena was off limits and honestly, if I had known how you felt about each other before I saw what you did with each other, I never would have stood in your way,” she said firmly. “I would have had some issues with the order you two were working in,” she continued and you finally let yourself smile in relief, “but that’s only because I want the best for both of you. Now I know what that is.” Without another word, Natasha tilted her head to rest against yours and you didn’t waste another second in leaning in to wrap your arms around her, feeling the immense safety that always came from being in such proximity to either Russian.

“I promise not to hurt her again,” you whispered.

“I’ll spare you the lecture,” she chuckled.

“I’ve heard enough of them,” you told her as you remembered the hours Rae had spent at your side.

“You’re safe now,” Natasha said with all the assurance you needed to hear. “I told you I’d find her.” You hummed faintly.

“I never doubted it. Now there’s nothing holding me back.”

Six months later

“Just a bit further,” Yelena encouraged as she gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. You glanced up at the last stretch of the hill, knowing it was going to be the hardest. It would be worth it though. “Do you want to stop for a bit?” Your girlfriend asked as she watched you struggle to persevere.

“I got it,” you told her even though your legs were burning, adamant on getting to the top without any assistance. Yelena stuck close to your side as Marty peered up at you from the other, giving a bark of encouragement too. “Thanks, bud,” you told him as the last few metres drew closer and you finally hauled yourself up to the top where you collapsed in an exhausted heap. Your burning legs were numb but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as you gazed out across the cliff.

“Are you okay?” Yelena asked, concern written over her features as she crouched down in front of you. You merely smiled up at her and placed your hand to her cheek, only needing a moment of that contact to ease her worries as she sat down next to you to admire the view and grab some water from her backpack for you all.

“It’s even better in the summer,” she commented as you sat up, resting your head on her shoulder. You hummed in agreement and craned your head slightly to gaze at Yelena.

“Beautiful,” you muttered.

“We should camp out here next time,” she said, too caught up in the view to notice your subtle admiration of her.

“I like that idea,” you told her, although what you really liked was the idea that there would be a next time and no doubt many more after. “I think they do too,” you added when you noticed Marty and Fanny looking at you both with great interest. Yelena chuckled and rested her own head on yours.

“You think you will be up for it?” The blonde enquired.

“I think so,” you said. “I hope so.”

“You’re doing well,” she told you, knowing how frustrated you had been over your slow healing progress at the start but how, despite the odds, you had made it back onto your feet.

“So are you,” you said. Yelena kissed your forehead softly, knowing what you meant.

“It’s easy loving you,” she said simply. You grinned, feeling your heart elevate in your chest as you wrapped your arms around your girlfriend and sat content under the knowledge that you never had to doubt it. “It always will be.”

The end.

#marvel #yelena belova imagine #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova #white widow #natasha romanoff #kate bishop #gxg marvel

87 notes · View notes

andreal831 · 4 months

Note

Do youn think Esther loved all of her children equally and how her relation with Elijah was?

I think Esther is a lot more of a complex character than people want her to be. It's easier if she can just be painted as an awful mother. But it is clear Esther did love her kids, all of them. Just differently. I don't think you can truly measure love in quantity, but she definitely had favorites and least favorites.

Esther loved Freya so much that losing Freya fundamentally changed who she was. She wanted to be a mother so badly that she was willing to do anything to make it happen. People often blame her more for trading Freya for the ability to have children, but don't blame Dahlia for making her own sister trade away her first child. Esther was young when she made that deal and didn't fully know what it meant. She also probably naively believed her sister wouldn't steal her child. But she loved Freya dearly.

Esther also loved Finn a great deal however their relationship grew twisted and toxic because of the loss they both shared. She essentially trauma bonded with her four year old child. Finn's trauma is rarely discussed but it is clear that his mother became his safety after losing Freya. He would do anything for her and Esther exploited this at times and even used him for emotional support. She did love Finn, but the trauma colored that love.

Elijah is her least favorite child. She basically admits it when she tells Klaus that he brought joy to their lives and made them a family again after losing Freya. She was heavily pregnant with Elijah when she lost Freya meaning Elijah's birth and multiple years of life did not bring their family joy or make them feel like a family. Although it's important to remember that while pregnant, she lost her child and moved across the ocean to a new land where she was alone with a volatile husband as this was also the period where Mikael starts becoming a bad/potentially abusive husband. I can't imagine she didn't experience some level of post-partum depression after having him. To top it off, Elijah favors Dahlia more than either of his parents. He likely reminded her of her sister and everything she had lost.

She views Elijah as more of a second parent. She expects him to always behave and keep his siblings in line. When the others step out of line, she has more sympathy for them. She offers Finn, Kol, Klaus, and Rebekah second chances in witch bodies but tortures Elijah, mocking him for what he is and that he is no longer her "noble son." We never see any exchanges between Elijah and Esther that have any type of warmth. This doesn't mean she didn't love him, but hey have a very strained/neglectful relationship.

Klaus is her favorite child. He was the only child she had with the man she truly loved. Even though Klaus seemed to get the brunt of Mikael's anger, he also gets the most protection from Esther. To the point that Finn is jealous of this attention. Klaus arguably did the absolute most vile deeds that should disgust Esther but she still showed love and compassion to him. He was the problematic child that could do no wrong.

Kol is pretty low on the ranks but still above Elijah simply because he had magic. Esther would have wanted to pass on her magic somewhere even is she wasn't truly practicing. She would have loved it but also feared it. Kol would have also driven her crazy because he was always so independent and often getting in trouble.

Rebekah has a special place in her mother's heart as the only daughter she had after losing Freya. It would have been painful at first as she looked so much like the child Esther lost, but she would have viewed it as a second chance. Rebekah always had a soft spot for Esther and losing her mother devastated her.

Henrik is pretty high at the top simply because he is the youngest. Henrik seemed to have a happy spirit from the few brief moments we see him. The baby of the family is always special. His death sent Esther into such a spiral that she created vampirism.

None of this means I think Esther is an awful mother. There are definitely terrible things she does, but at the end of it, she truly loved her children. Was she the best mother in the word, no. But we have to remember she was a young woman who was also a victim.

Thanks for the ask!

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herpartnerintime · 7 months

Text

Why I believe Max and Chloe are both lesbians

Max is a Lesbian

Chloe is a Lesbian

Max and Chloe have never had their sexualities confirmed in the games but many in the fandom headcanon Max as bisexual and Chloe as a lesbian (or less often bisexual) but there are many of us who see Max as a lesbian just like Chloe. Having played the games many times with my own lesbian eyes, I've realized that on the surface level Max's sexuality may seem clearly bisexual, but when you really pay attention, lesbian starts feeling closer to Max, as many of us picked up on Max experiencing comphet when it comes to boys. Inspired by my Before you say Chloe is a bad friend post I wanted to make another long post gathering details from Life is Strange, Before the Storm and Farewell in my long waffling way to help people better understand why many of us see lesbian as the sexuality that fits Max just as much as it fits Chloe, as we explore Max and Chloe's sexual awakenings paralleling each other. Grab some snacks, this will be a long one!

Let's start with Max! I'll start by saying I imagine Max even by the end of the game doesn't have a label for herself yet. It will take time after the storm, with all the trauma to come, but as she and Chloe heal I think Max will be able to reflect and come to understand herself and why lesbian feels right to her. Fans tend to go between Bisexual or Lesbian for Max's label, and I do see how bi can be possible. Max can after all, kiss Warren and she does think some skater boys are cute. But many of us have taken a deep dive into the game and the journal entries to piece together what many of us believe may be signs of comphet with Max (the way many of us assume ourselves as straight by default), and signs that point to a lesbian sexuality. I'll first start off with something critical to understand. Some players believe you can make Max gay, straight, or bisexual depending on if you romance Warren. This is false. Max cannot be straight, because her feelings for Chloe still exist regardless if you choose to go to the drive in with Warren or don't kiss Chloe. Regardless of what choice you make, Max and Chloe are still experiencing feelings for each other. They're still flirting, calling each other cute by the pool for example, and Max's journal shows she is very much catching feelings for her best friend no matter what choices you make. If you don't kiss Chloe, she still writes about regretting the kiss.

I would have, but I didn't like being dared like it was some big deal. Maybe I am scared. Of what? I think I'm too young for marriage. And Chloe and I might kill each other. Max says she would have and admits to being scared. She also wonders if she is to young for marriage. Why is her mind going right to marriage over a kiss? I think this Max who doesn't kiss Chloe wants too but was to scared to do so. To scared to be honest with herself about how she feels, trying to convince herself they would never work anyway. I've never been so glad to see Chloe in my life. The second I saw her blue hair and that beautiful pissed off face, I kind of regretted not kissing her when she double dared me. Maybe if she had double dog dared me... After she comes back from the alternate reality where she either watches Chloe die or leaves her in pain, Max writes how she regretted not kissing her when she double dared her. If Max had no feelings for Chloe, she would have written about how she wanted to say hug her forever or something platonic, not write about wanting to kiss her, and wishing Chloe had put more pressure on the kiss with a double dog dare.

Chloe will always be my best friend, but who knows how she really sees me? I know she wasn't mad I didn't kiss her... I feel like we're more family than couple... just a couple of dorky kids who grew up in a fucked up, amazing world... Maybe that's why I hated watching Chloe being so cruel in the nightmare, calling me names and trying to hurt me... I was surprised that it was like a physical pain in my heart. Is that the power of love... or friendship? I believe you're about to find out, Max Caulfield. I think something to remember in this entry is you didn't make Max brave enough to act on her feelings and as a result, you've made Max become in denial of her feelings, afraid to face them and what they might mean. She's aware they are there, these feelings, the fact she is questioning if this is the power of love or friendship says it all. Remember, she was writing about regretting the kiss earlier. And, the nightmare still has Chloe being flirted with and kissing others regardless of if you kiss Chloe or not and it still bothers Max. I think Max in this end ultimately buries her feelings for Chloe because you didn't make her brave enough to act on them. And deep down she thinks she's not good enough for Chloe anyway so writes Chloe off as "more family than couple'. I've seen some dismiss this as Max simply experimenting in this version of the story and realizing she didn't have feelings, but that can't be true, not when we know what happens in the story if you let Max act on her feelings. This isn't about experimentation, this is about you as the player choosing to keep Max in the closet or not when it comes to her sexuality and feelings for Chloe. That is your player choice, not whether you can make her gay or straight. Now that we've made it clear Max can't be straight and that her feelings for Chloe still exist even if you don't kiss her, I want to talk about Warren and the way she writes about him versus how she writes about Chloe. Once I gave Juliet the proof that Victoria was behind it all, I went to get Warren's flash drive from Dana. She was in a weird mood, but we said nasty things about Victoria and I think it definitely made her feel better. We talked about Warren and Dana implied he likes me. Ew. Agree to Movie Oh wait... I did say I would go to the drive-in with him. Hope he doesn't make a lame move on me... (Not that he would, egomaniac.) Warren and I do have a lot in common, but he's like a supercool geek brother... Anyway, I definitely need a movie escape.

Don't agree to Movie Oh wait. He did try and get me to go to the drive-in with him, and I refused. I'm not really in the mood this week, and I also don't want to lead him on... Kisses him in Episode 5 Considering how insane my life has been this week, kissing Warren in the middle of a deadly storm didn't seem to be that strange. It felt like we were flipping off the cruel universe... and if I was going to die, I wanted one kiss from a boy I cared about.

Now let's compare to how she writes about Chloe Kissed Chloe in Episode 3

So I did. She probably thought I'd wuss out. Why? It wasn't that big a deal. Though it was cute the way she was kind of embarrassed after and said she would tell Warren.

episode 4 I've never been so glad to see Chloe in my life. The second I saw her blue hair and that beautiful pissed off face I wanted to kiss her again.

Episode 5 I'm glad Warren is such a good friend. Considering how insane my life has been this week, kissing Chloe instead of him didn't seem that strange. It felt like Chloe and I were flipping off the cruel universe... and if I was going to die, I wanted one kiss from my best friend. How could this not be some kind of fate or destiny? Even though we're opposites in so many ways, we're also so alike. We'll always be pirates in spirit and we'll always want to take on the world... It sounds so stupid to say that she's my hero, but if not her, who else? Sometimes Chloe and I feel like yin and yang. Who knows? Maybe we're here to give each other strength... or more. Chloe is more than my best friend, but who knows how she really sees me? She did dare me to kiss her, but she seemed surprised that I actually did. I am too, but I don't regret it for a second. Maybe that's why I hated watching Chloe being so cruel in the nightmare, calling me names and flirting with all those people... I was surprised that it was like a physical pain in my heart. Is that the power of friendship... or love? I believe you're about to find out, Max Caulfield.

Have you noticed something about her journals on Warren and on Chloe? You'll notice Max has so much more to say about her feelings for Chloe. All she ever says about Warren in regards to possible feelings is 'he's a boy she cares about' when she can kiss him in episode 5. Other than that, her journals she writes about him in regards to liking him like that are writing ew and in another she writes how she sees him as a brother and hopes he doesn't make a move on her. She never writes like this about Chloe. I know people take the fact Max can kiss Warren in episode 5 as her being bisexual but I feel like Max was discovering herself in this game having never been in a relationship before or even having a first kiss before the kiss dare. I know she can think some boys are cute, like skater boys but Chloe was also a skater, which could explain Max having that attraction to skaters, but the comphet making her just focus on boys, like she's supposed too, unable to make the connection she associates skating with Chloe. "He's cute. I like skater boys. Too bad they don't like me." Max thinks this of Trevor in the hallway of Blackwell. Trevor also happens to be wearing a beanie. These may seem like small details, but it's hard to not notice that Max ends up catching feelings for her skater beanie wearing best friend. It's also worth noting one of the optional photos involves Trevor failing a skating trick and Max taking a photo while he is in pain. She seems to take notice of boys being cute, but otherwise can seem disinterested in them. Even when it comes to touch, she backs away from Warren's hug attempt in episode 1 when she goes to give him back the USB, aware he is catching feelings for her and showing her discomfort about it. Then you just look at Max and Chloe, and how comfortable Max is at all times with physical touch from Chloe, even though Chloe has begun flirting with her and showing clear interest, it doesn't appear to make Max uncomfortable like Warren's interest in her does. Max does accept some physical touch from Warren, such as being comforted after Kate or hugging him in the diner because as she says, she could use a hug after what she's been through. But you'll notice she can be avoidant or unresponsive otherwise, such as how she acts when he puts his arm around her outside the Vortex Club party. She seems very comfortable with physical touch from Chloe, but not so much with Warren. Both of them are making their feelings for her known, but it's only the boy who Max can seem uncomfortable with at times. There's more to say about Max and this topic, but first, let's talk about the texting now between Max and Chloe and Max and Warren. Do you ever notice how many texts Warren sends Max, and the timestamps? She's very slow responding to him, but responds in a minute/within minutes with Chloe. She flirts back with Chloe too in texts, where she doesn't do so with Warren. If you explore Max's texts to Chloe and Warren here you'll notice a pattern of Max taking a very long time to answer Warren, until she finally gets around to sending off a quick message to him, usually short and to the point. Here's an example of the texts you find in Max's phone when you start the game from Warren. Do u want to meet for coffee after school? I need an excuse to not study. 10/02 1:14 pm PLEASE. 10/02 1:14 pm Make sure you check out NEKRomantik on my flash drive. Mwahaha 10/03 5:42 pm HEY MAD MAX. LETS BUST SHIT UP. 10/05 3:06 pm Wait. I have to study for a physics test. So if we bust anything, we also have to measure its velocity. 10/05 3:06 pm Don't ignore this message. 10/05 3:07 pm Hi Mx, can you get my flash drive? I need some info. And space. 10/07 4:21 pm Hullo? 10/07 4:21 pm Srry. Running late. Insane day. 10/07 4:22 pm

You'll notice Warren has been texting Max for days with no response. She likely sees and talks to him in school, but she wasn't taking the time to respond to his texts, which seems a bit strange for a boy she is supposed to be interested in.

Warren even sends her a picture of himself bruised up after protecting her from Nathan, with Max herself not having asked if he was okay.

Earth to Max: Your white knight Warren here. I know you were worried about me 10/07 6:36 pm I owe u. Thanks for today. I'll call back later, k? I SWEAR. 10/07 6:37 pm Now it makes sense given what happened in her day she didn't text him to ask if he was okay, but she did leave Chloe's side to find tools to fix her camera, and he wasn't even on her thoughts. She actually wasn't worried about him, but more worried about her broken camera and how sad Chloe seemed, which again is a bit strange for her if this is a boy she is interested in. Max then tells him she'll call him later. This is a pattern. Max is always ending conversations short with him, and always telling him she'll talk later. With Chloe on the other hand, this text about sums them up... u there mad max 10/08 7:34 am Like I said. Always for you :) :) :) :) 10/08 7:34 am NO EMOJI!!! 10/08 7:35 am :( 10/08 7:35 am

She is not always there for Warren in the game. She frequently tells him she'll call later or doesn't, or tries to end conversations quickly. Even if she accepts the drive in date, Max doesn't respond to him when he texts.... I'll let you take care of the popcorn. In other words you can't back out now :) 10/09 8:14 am OK, it's officially sold out BUT 10/09 9:21 am I managed to get us both tickets Had to fight a dozen bullies off for 'em though Freaking nerds 10/09 9:21 am Now Max is of course as we the player know, kinda going through ALOT right now with the discovery of her Super Powers and everything else, but she always responds to Chloe so quickly, even if they are just joking around. She could have quickly texted Warren an "awesome thanks" or a "I can't wait to go to the drive in with you" but she sends nothing in return. With this said, there are some exchanges that happens where she does talk more about the drive in. We are so GOING APE! Newberg is 60 miles so we should leave around 5. I drive. 10/08 9:19 am

Hell yeah we will in your new ride. 10/08 9:19 am

We have to get supplies for the drive-in. Maybe we can have dinner first. 10/08 9:19 am

..... 10/08 9:20 am

Or whatever. Anyway. GO APE! 10/08 9:22 am

Too late! 10/08 9:22 am

:) 10/08 9:22 am

Warren is still doing much of the talking here, with Max not giving an answer about dinner first, just saying too late about dinner! If Max turns down the invite, he sends instead... No worries about not GOING APE with me. 10/08 9:19 am

Thought it would be cool to take a road trip in the new wheels. I'll just drive in circles around town. 10/08 9:19 am

I'm sorry, Warren. Hard week. 10/08 9:20 am

I still owe you. 10/08 9:20 am

Yes you do. 10/08 9:20 am

Let me know if you change your mind. 10/08 9:21 am

(-_*) 10/08 9:22 am

I still owe you. Max says and writes that a lot. We both looked at each other like WTF? Next thing I knew, I was in her truck as Warren earned his man card and tried to get Nathan off my ass. I owe Warren big-time. I owe u. Thanks for today. I'll call back later, k? I SWEAR.

I still owe you. 10/08 9:20 am Yes you do. 10/08 9:20 am This one is if you don't kiss Chloe and accepted his invite.

Yo yo Max. Your friend Chloe txtd me that you shot her down. True? 10/10 8:41 am Chloe actually texted you? 10/10 8:42 am I sure didn’t have her number. 10/10 8:42 am Oh God. 10/10 8:42 am I don’t want to embarrass you. 10/10 8:42 am Too late. 10/10 8:43 am She sounds cool. 10/10 8:43 am She’s a cool dork. 10/10 8:43 am Like me? 10/10 8:43 am No, you’re different. In a good way. 10/10 8:43 am So we’re still on to "Go Ape"? 10/10 8:44 am No damn dirty human can stop me. 10/10 8:44 am GO APE NOT HUMAN 10/10 8:44 am We shall see. 10/10 8:44 am Now I have to get back to reality. 10/10 8:45 am That sucks. 10/10 8:45 am Indeed. I’ll buzz you later. 10/10 8:45 am

So on the surface level, this might just look like Max turned down Chloe because she didn't have feelings for Chloe, but does for him. But we know from Max's interactions with Chloe and her journals about really regretting not kissing Chloe, more than once, Max is indeed very embarrassed, not just because Warren knows about it, but because she DOES have feelings for Chloe and suddenly someone knows about how Chloe dared her to kiss her.

For someone still figuring out their sexuality this can feel like being put on the spot, that comphet making you feel almost like you have to brush it off and act like it was nothing no I'm totally not gay. Max calls her a cool dork and then when Warren asks if she's still on to go ape, Max responds this time, unlike the way she ignored his texts about the drive in before and says "No damn dirty ape can stop me". My interpretation of this text exchange is Max is embarrassed and overwhelmed at the implication of Warren knowing Chloe was into her and that she herself possibly was into Chloe back (even if the kiss didn't even happen), and so she is trying to shake off that feeling, and focus on the drive in with Warren because she's totally not into girls or Chloe right? By making it clear she's still down for the drive in, she also keeps the topic off Chloe.

I want to again bring up her last journal if you didn't kiss Chloe, where her conclusion is she sees them as more friends than couple and how I concluded if you don't kiss Chloe, the story ends for Max in denial about her feelings for Chloe, and I feel like this text exchange is a show of that denial, as Max tries to push away her feelings for Chloe and possibly try and push herself to feel more feelings for a boy her journal suggested she was not having feelings for the way she was for a girl. Let's look for a moment at the text exchange if you kissed Chloe and didn't accept his invite. Yo yo Max. Your friend Chloe txtd me that I’m out of the loop now. She sounds hot so I get why. 10/10 8:41 am Chloe actually texted you? 10/10 8:42 am I sure didn't have her number. Now I get why you didn't want to "Go Ape" with me. You should go with Chloe. 10/10 8:42 am She looks cool enough for you. 10/10 8:42 am I have a lot of cool friends. Like you. 10/10 8:43 am Yes, you do. Just my luck. 10/10 8:43 And mine. I have to jet. TTYL. 10/10 8:43 am I hope so. 10/10 8:43 am Max shows she is shocked here Chloe texted him. She doesn't express embarrassment this time however, like she did when she said Oh God when she doesn't kiss Chloe. This to me shows Max was feeling more confident because she had kissed Chloe, she wasn't in denial about her feelings and starting to discover her sexuality and confidence. She therefore isn't embarrassed Warren knows about the kiss, she may not be ready to talk about it yet or with him, but she isn't embarrassed as she is if she turns down the kiss and there's this implication she may not be straight. The Max that doesn't kiss Chloe is trying to ignore/deny her feelings for Chloe and therefore, feels more uncomfortable at people being aware of it. I would also guess Max is experiencing a similar thrill from her expression as she did in the classroom if Chloe texts she wants to marry her, seeing Chloe is making it clear to someone she knows that likes her that Max is HERS. For the girl she likes to do that... Max is starting to realize more and more what she writes later in her journal, that they are more than friends now. Speaking of that text... a fan favourite if you 'shoot' Frank. max the boss with the gun marry me Illegal in Oregon. For now. fuq that shit elope Max opens this text right in class and then Jefferson calls her out and tells her to put her phone away before Max can say more. Max is very openly flirting back with Chloe in these texts, something we don't see her do with Warren. With all the journals we know will exist after this point, with Max realizing they were more than friends, these texts weren't just friends being silly but Max flirting back with Chloe and being exhilarated by it.

We also see Chloe sometimes messages Max several times in a row. The difference? Max doesn't seem to mind as she responds in the same minute.

max 10/08 8:08 am food 10/08 8:08 am two whales 10/08 8:08 am Don't hurt your fingers texting 10/08 8:08 am Yay breakfast! (^_^) 10/08 8:09 am NO EMOJI 10/08 8:09 am

Now let's talk about the way Max and Chloe talk about boys, to each other. Max: So... you never really told me if you had a serious boyfriend while I was away... Chloe: Not serious. Hella stupid, usually. I went through a "boy toy" phase. Among other things... Max: I can't see you with any of the guys around here... Chloe: Because you have a good eye. That's why I was so glad Rachel came along to rescue me. Max: Sounds like you totally crushed on Rachel. Chloe: You would have too. Smart, sexy and sassy... Like me, right?Max: Well, duh! Maybe Rachel would have fought over both of us. Chloe: You wish! Then again, maybe... you're a photographer and she wanted to be a model. Max: As Blackwell proves, boys are trouble. Chloe: And way fucking gross. As you'll discover soon enough. Max: Oh okay, Woman of the World. Please tell me what it's like to get that first magic kiss! Chloe: Sorry, sorry. Didn't mean to get you all worked up. I just don't think anybody is good enough for you... besides me. Notice how Max says well, duh, confirming she sees Chloe as smart, sexy and sassy and jokes even about Rachel fighting over both of them, showing how comfortable Max is at the idea of girls liking her, versus how she acts at the thought of boys liking her, like at the pool, as you will see below. Pool Scene Chloe: Dude, I'm not her groupie, okay? And I'm sure you have Blackwell bros all over you—like Warren... Gross! option Max: Ew! I don't want any Blackwell bros over me. There's a couple cute guys there but they probably think I'm a total nerd. Chloe: Uh, nerds are hot. You just don't have any confidence yet.

Max: Unfortunately, that didn't come with my rewind power... Warren is nice option

Max: Warren is nice...

Chloe: [chuckles] Nice? Ouch. That means "Friendzone."

Max: No, he's really cool. It was so sweet when he stood up to Nathan... But I haven't told him about my rewind power... You're the Bro Killer option

Max: You're the bro killer. Tats and 'tude... Chloe: You did not just say that. Plus I am not down with these Arcadia Bay hillbillies. Max: I don't blame you... Anyway, we have bigger fish to fry, right?

Now Max does say there are a couple of cute guys, and this indeed could indicate bisexuality, but lesbians can think boys are cute on the surface level. But here's something worth mentioning. While we can find boys cute on surface level, the moment things start moving beyond friendship, we start feeling uncomfortable and start avoiding, kind of like how Max puts off Warren's texts because she's come to realize he sees her as more than a friend, and she doesn't know what to do with that. This might explain the journal where she writes I never really found a groove with my classmates. (Or boys...) as the moment a boy she thinks is cute begins possibly having feelings for her, it may have made her uncomfortable, causing her to, 'not find a groove with boys' as a result and not fully understanding why. Even when discussing boys with Chloe, Max's options and responses are interesting. You can choose gross, and then Max says ew and that she doesn't want any Blackwell bros all over her, and Chloe had mentioned Warren as one of the Blackwell bros. She then says she finds some cute, which seems to me again like she's able to see boys on the surface level as cute, but does not like the idea of them actually being into her back. Her other options are to deflect to Chloe being the 'bro killer' and to 'friendzone' Warren. All she can say about boys is she finds some cute, but she never seems to go beyond that, almost as if she can't. I can speak from experience of being able to see men as cute or handsome but also experiencing discomfort at the idea of actually being liked back in that way, or realizing I was liked in that way. I also experienced discomfort when I would think about what intimacy with a man would involve and how uncomfortable that made me feel. I didn't experience this when thinking about women. I could picture intimacy, everything in detail with excitement and comfortability. I also want to make note of many of the fandom seeing Max as a demi lesbian, needing a close connection for romantic and sexual attraction. On top of the comphet, it's possible Max didn't realize her sexuality because she wasn't forming a close enough connection with any girls to feel that way about them. Demisexuality, which falls on the asexuality spectrum, differs from simply wanting to wait for a deep bond to form before having sex with someone; rather, it’s more akin to the experience of being asexual until that type of connection forms, at which point the sexual attraction extends only to that person. x This seems to fit Max, who had never kissed or dated or in fact, been at all interested in anyone until Chloe. Feelings had begun when they were tweens. Chloe: You look cute with your hair soaked in chemicals.

Max: Thanks, you would know... This little exchange at the pool echoes back old memories, of being 13 and 14 Max: Really cute, Chloe.

Chloe takes off the hat.

Chloe: You're not so bad yourself.

With a girl, with Chloe, it all seems to come naturally to Max, how to act, how to flirt, how to boldly go for a kiss when dared, or how she was the one, in the Bay end, to go for that last kiss, or to choose Chloe over everyone in the Bae end. With Chloe she can comfortably flirt back and forth in text or in person. Now Max can kiss Warren too. She as stated before, writes in her journal she wanted one last kiss from a boy she cared about if she was going to die. I think so much of the game is about Max exploring her sexuality. Chloe even encourages her to stop being afraid at the pool. She encourages her in the alternate reality too. Chloe: Oh, please. You can't be an artist unless you experience life... That includes boys, girls, whatever. I think if you say, kiss Chloe AND Warren for example, you have Max exploring herself with BOTH of them, and while this again could indicate bisexuality we must remember Chloe had sex with boys and realized she wasn't into them in the end.

Rewatching the Max and Warren kiss, Max says for luck, and the kiss is fast and quick, compared to the very long kiss she gives Chloe in the Bay ending. Her kiss dare with Chloe was short too - only because Chloe pulled away in shock, so we don't know how long she would have kissed Chloe if Chloe hadn't pulled back. If she doesn't kiss Chloe and does kiss Warren, Max is choosing to not explore her feelings for a girl but to explore them with a boy she cares about. One thing we do know for sure... she writes way more about the girl than she does the boy whatever your choices are. And she writes she realizes she loves the girl, for the boy she just writes she cares about him, not that she loves him.

Here's something else to think about. Max is an anxious person who becomes avoidant when she's uncomfortable or anxious, as she is with Chloe after the move and isn't there for her. In Before the Storm, while Life is Strange had said Max hadn't texted, Before the Storm Max did text back a little, but she was avoidant like she is with Warren, short responses, always saying she'll call or text later but doesn't. In the case of Chloe Max didn't know how to be there for her grieving friend after leaving her at the worst time, in the case of Warren it at times feels like Max is avoidant and slower to respond to him because she is uncomfortable knowing he has feelings for her, and she doesn't in the same way. It's not until episode 5 after going through the Dark Room, alternate realities and the storm to get to the diner does she kiss Warren for luck as she says, driven perhaps more from the emotion of everything she had just went through and as she put in her journal, just wanting to experience one kiss if she might fail to get back to Chloe and was going to die. Comparing the kiss dare with Chloe, where the emotion was coming from a place of flirting and swimming in the pool in their underwear and bras, and then falling asleep together side by side in bed, it felt like the way Max hurled herself at Chloe for that kiss was coming from a very different place than Max needing a kiss for luck. It felt like Max going for that kiss dare was from the buildup of electricity between them and her acting very naturally on it. You can feel the electricity in the air with her and Chloe, but not so much with her and Warren. Now let's switch to Chloe for a little bit. Chloe I think is an easy she's a lesbian character. Most of the fandom sees Chloe as a lesbian, and it's not hard to see why. Let me bring these up once more... Max: So... you never really told me if you had a serious boyfriend while I was away... Chloe: Not serious. Hella stupid, usually. I went through a "boy toy" phase. Among other things... Max: I can't see you with any of the guys around here... Chloe: Because you have a good eye. That's why I was so glad Rachel came along to rescue me. Max: Sounds like you totally crushed on Rachel. Chloe: You would have too. Smart, sexy and sassy... Like me, right?Max: Well, duh! Maybe Rachel would have fought over both of us. Chloe: You wish! Then again, maybe... you're a photographer and she wanted to be a model. Max: As Blackwell proves, boys are trouble. Chloe: And way fucking gross. As you'll discover soon enough. Max: Oh okay, Woman of the World. Please tell me what it's like to get that first magic kiss! Chloe: Sorry, sorry. Didn't mean to get you all worked up. I just don't think anybody is good enough for you... besides me. Chloe makes it very clear she is NOT into boys anymore to Max in these conversations. She also makes it clear she is into Max by saying she doesn't think anybody is good enough for Max but herself. Even when she's asking Max what bathroom she wants to go through to get to the pool she asks it as if she is asking way more than a simple question. Chloe: Boys or girls? Max: Girls, of course! Chloe: Girls? Ooh la-la...

vs Chloe: Boys or girls?

Max: Boys, of course!

Chloe: Figures. Perv. Let's also remember how Chloe reacts in Before the Storm at 16 when she almost walks into the boys changing tent. "Boys' changing tent. Thanks, but no thanks." Chloe from the way she asks and reacts to Max's response, was I think clearly trying in her way to figure Max out. She asks about boys and girls here and in the pool because she's trying to figure out if Max possibly could like girls or she only likes boys or likes both. Max giving the "boys of course' answer is something she'd expect from a girl who likes boys wanting to explore the boy's locker room (we the player know Max is also just nosy and wants to investigate it), but Max choosing girls over wanting to explore the boys has Chloe even more curious, and when Max can react with gross or deflection about boys in the pool... she is becoming more curious. Max: As long as you're there with me...

Chloe: Don't look so sad. I'm never leaving you...

Chloe: You look cute with your hair soaked in chemicals.

Max: Thanks, you would know...

And moments like this happening, all leads to the kiss in the bedroom with Max. Chloe: Stop second-guessing yourself, Max! Put this on and let your inner punk-rock girl come out! You can afford to take chances! Whenever and whatever you want to try... for example, I dare you to kiss me!

Max: What?

Chloe: I double dare you. Kiss me now. Chloe, now feeling more confident Max may like girls (and maybe her???), but not being totally sure, she dares Max to kiss her.

Chloe: Damn, you're hardcore, Max! Now I can text Warren and tell him he doesn't stand a chance... unless he's into girl-on-girl action.

Chloe returns to her bed.

Max: You are such a dork.

Max: (thinking) Oh man, that was priceless when I kissed Chloe. She didn't think I would... Chloe: You better not rewind and take that kiss back. You know I'm hotter than those Seattle art-holes, right? Chloe pulls back in sheer shock that not only does Max like girls, she wanted to kiss her. This excitement as we discussed above, leads her to text Warren about the kiss, as her way to say Max is mine, back off. Let me also share what is said if Max doesn't kiss Chloe.

Max: Sorry, not that easy. Chloe: Oh, like I am? Just admit that you already macked on me then used your rewind! Now I can text Warren that you're saving yourself all for him...

Chloe returns to her bed.

Max: I am so going to best unfriend you for that.

Max: (thinking) I love that Chloe is so fearless...

I think to me this is further example of your choice as the player being about not making Max act on her feelings, not being the one who decides if she has feelings or not. Max isn't uncomfortable at all, actually she admires how fearless Chloe is. As she wrote in her journal, I would have, but I didn't like being dared like it was some big deal. Maybe I am scared. Of what? I think I'm too young for marriage. And Chloe and I might kill each other. Max's feelings always exist for Chloe. And later, she writes, I kind of regretted not kissing her when she double dared me. Maybe if she had double dog dared me... the kiss she didn't give is on her mind a lot. "And you'd dare me to drive it like you dared me to kiss you..." But if you make Max brave enough to kiss Chloe, she is more bold about it.

Max: And you'd probably want me to kiss you again... Oh and how can we forget? Max's reaction to Chloe's phone wallpaper either being changed to her or kept to Chloe and Rachel! If Chloe puts Max on her phone wallpaper Max thinks, "Nice, Chloe put my pic on her phone.... I must have proved I was worthy again..." If Chloe keeps her phone with her and Rachel Max thinks, "I thought Chloe might put up a pic of me instead.... Can't compete with Rachel." Max's jealously of Rachel is something even Joyce notices.

Joyce: Max Caulfield, are you actually jealous of Rachel?

Max: Maybe. Rachel was so much cooler than me... Max when she sees the C and R bracelets That kinda hurts.... The CD "Rachel songs." I wonder if Chloe would ever make me a mixtape.

Max when she sees the photos of Chloe and Rachel They really were besties. That could have been me instead of Rachel... Max's jealously is note worthy because it isn't something we see toward Brooke's interest in Warren. While Max shows jealously towards Rachel, she isn't that interested in Brooke's interest in Warren. If Max really did have feelings for Warren, she should be just as jealous. But Max acts very indifferent much of the time, if anything trying to ignore the awkwardness of knowing Warren likes her and Brooke is mad about it, trying to act like she has no idea what Brooke's problem is. Brooke: I'm serious. Even meteorologists can't explain that snow. I bet Warren can. Did you talk to him yet? Max: No, not at all. He's my friend, not my mother. (or she will say I will later) Brooke: True. And Warren really loves to talk meteorology with me, since I'm one of the few who can talk back. Talk to you later, Max.

In conversations with Brooke, it feels like Max is trying to get it across she is just Warren's friend. She helps him with his experiment in class and tries to ignore Brooke's rude comments about him ignoring the experts. Max: I'm helping Warren with his latest experiment. Brooke: Oh. I guess he needed a neophyte assistant so he wouldn't be threatened. But you came to his rescue anyway.

Max: Apparently, it's my nature. Brooke: Yet Warren ignores the experts right in front of him. Not that he would ask me for help anyway...

Brooke: Ms. Grant finally gave up and let me fly her again. But you're going to the drive-in with Warren, so you don't have time to fly my drone.

Max: Really? I can't fly your drone because I'm going to see "Ape" movies with Warren?

Brooke: You are perceptive, Max. Now, excuse me. My drone needs me.

I do find it interesting Max doesn't say going on a date with Warren, but going to see Ape movies with Warren, suggesting to Max, as she wrote in her journal, she sees it as just a friend thing. Oh wait... I did say I would go to the drive-in with him. Hope he doesn't make a lame move on me... (Not that he would, egomaniac.) Warren and I do have a lot in common, but he's like a supercool geek brother... Anyway, I definitely need a movie escape.

To Max, this is just a movie escape, but to Brooke it's so much more than that. At the Vortex club party, if Max doesn't accept the invite Brooke: I will. He left already, but we're going to map out our drive-in date later. Warren wants to go to dinner first, so that'll be fun. Is that cool with you, Max?

Max: Yes, it's great. Brooke, I'm happy for you. And Warren. I'd like to see you happy instead of waiting.

Brooke: Thanks, Max. Though I feel selfish talking about a boy, considering Kate and the Arcadia Bay eco-meltdown... As we discussed previously, whether you kiss Chloe or not Max's feelings for Chloe are still written about and expressed. This should mean even if she turns down the movie date, she should be sad about Brooke going with Warren, but she's happy. I think almost relieved she doesn't have to worry about it anymore. If Max accepted the drive in

Max: Have you seen Warren tonight?

Brooke: Why? You're the one going out with him.

Max: Brooke, enough. I'm sorry Warren asked me to the movies, but you don't need to give me an attitude. I'd like to think I'm your friend.

Brooke: I know... I get salty when things don't go my way. I'm selfish, while you go on a roof to help save your friend Even here, Max vents her frustration at Brooke being mad Warren asked her to the movies. But she doesn't say much else. She is aware Warren likes her, as she proves when Chloe says

Chloe: Man, that guy is so fucking in love with you.

Max: I know...

She doesn't say she likes him back, is just aware he does and you can get the sense she doesn't know what in the world to do about that. His feelings for her have even been getting Brooke mad at her, and her classmates are all picking up on it too.

Max: That was so not cool. We need to plan, like, a tea shop tour of Portland.

Kate: Oh yes! And you could bring Warren along too... Noy boys allowed

Max: No boys allowed. Kate: You are funny, Max. And right. Warren

Max: What do you think of Warren? Kate: Oh, smart and silly... He's got such a good heart. And he's a cutie pie. You know he likes you... Max: I'm going to the drive-in with him, so we'll see... With everything that's going on, a date seems weird... Kate: No, you deserve that.

Max: Kate Marsh, matchmaker. I'm glad somebody is looking out for my love life. Kate: Even angels need angels, Max. Don't forget her journal to match this and revealing her true feelings Oh wait... I did say I would go to the drive-in with him. Hope he doesn't make a lame move on me... (Not that he would, egomaniac.) Warren and I do have a lot in common, but he's like a supercool geek brother... Anyway, I definitely need a movie escape.

turned down drive in Max: So I've heard. He asked me to go to the drive-in, but I turned him down. Kate: Awww, really? You guys would be a perfect couple... Oh wait. He did try and get me to go to the drive-in with him, and I refused. I'm not really in the mood this week, and I also don't want to lead him on...

Max never sounds that interested about the 'date' and when you compare her journal about her feelings for the drive in with Warren with her feelings for Chloe it's clear Max's mind is very much on someone else, whether Max kissed Chloe or not. In episode 3, Nathan throws this slur at her. Nathan: Right...Plus, you're an adult now. I can sue for dumb ass for libel. Thanks. Now fuck off, dyke! Max doesn't give a response to this so we don't know how she feels as she doesn't write about it either, but her confidence she's gained with Chloe seems to have helped her not be bothered if he thinks she likes girls. Max never seems to mind if people think she likes girls. But thinking she likes boys on the other hand...

Dana: Max, you're smart to be a loner here. Though Warren obviously likes hanging with you... he's a good guy

Max: He's a good guy. A geek like me.

Dana: You saw the files in his flash drive? Tons of crazy shit. Films I've never even heard of. And in a special folder called "Max"?

Max: Yeah, okay. I gotcha.

Dana: Are you blushing? Ha! Go ahead and grab the flash drive whenever...

what do you mean? Max: What do you mean?

Dana: Oh, nothing. When you opened the flash drive, didn't you see the special folder called "Max"?

Max: Yeah, okay. I gotcha.

Dana: Are you blushing? Ha! Go ahead and grab the flash drive whenever...

In each exchange, Max seems uncomfortable at what she is implying. She does blush - but I've also blushed when I've realized someone is telling me someone likes me I don't like that way. It makes you feel embarrassed and put on the spot. Especially when you're deep down confused as to why you don't like this boy who everything else thinks is perfect for you. Max still can't find a groove with boys. Is it because she just can't like them that way? That's how it feels. And don't forget Max writes about this exchange... We talked about Warren and Dana implied he likes me. Ew. Now, I can't ignore the fact Max can write Cu Te on his room slate, "Are you made of copper and tellurium because you're Cu Te" a nerdy little science pun. And thanks for leaving your mark on my door. I'll never erase it. 10/10 3:42 pm You better not. It's permanent! 10/10 3:42 pm

As she writes it she thinks, I can have a little fun with Warren for a change. He's the one who wants to "Go Ape"… x Her tone suggests it's more for him than for her, perhaps wanting to leave a nice message after seeing that Beta Phag Alert poster. And Max can again find him cute on the surface level. She knows she's supposed to like him like that, her classmates all think she should, and maybe she feels a little bad for her lack of attention since she's been busy with Chloe (and developing feelings for her) so she wants to leave him a nice message. I really do think this and the quick kiss with him in episode 5 were just Max exploring herself, because she does care for Warren as she said herself, but her feelings for a girl, for Chloe, go so much deeper than she can feel for him. Max's journal entries she wrote on the 7 and 8th expressed ew at the idea of someone thinking she liked Warren and writing how she hoped he didn't make a move on her at the drive in makes me think it's not likely her feelings for Warren would change so quickly when most of her time is spent with Chloe, but I think her becoming braver and bolder gave her the boldness to try and see what a kiss with a boy would feel like. But she never writes anything more than that. And I always go back to her reactions to the idea of boys liking her at the pool, versus her comfort at the idea of girls liking her that morning in Chloe's bedroom. I also think of her texts and journals about owing Warren. She says her kiss to him was for luck in her journal, maybe she also felt like she owed him something and felt like the kiss was giving that to him. Now let's talk about Before the Storm Chloe. In her journal, Chloe writes this about Elliot Similar to my class schedule, Eliot and I have history but no chemistry or drama. We hooked up a few times shortly after Dad died, but there wasn't really much to it. I think I was just bored. Or maybe a little lonely. Weird, I know. She also has this in her journal

PS Pris from Blade Runner popped into my head last time I rubbed one. I mean, at first I was thinking about Deckard and that smolder of his, but then Pris just totally stole the show. Probably nothing there. Think I just want her bangs.

She was starting to realize she didn't feel much for boys. She was able to see boys as surface level hot, which is why she first thought of Deckard and that smolder of his, led by her comphet, but it was Pris who as she says, stole the show as she rubbed one. Some may think bisexuality because she was first thinking of Deckard's smolder but again, comphet can make us lesbians focus on what we feel are we supposed too and then what we really like... girls... totally steals the show. While Before the Storm only shows her with Elliot, Life is Strange tells us from Joyce she had a bad boy phase, and Chloe calls it a boy toy phase, and she also tells Max that Rachel rescued her, suggesting Rachel had been her sexual awakening. We see this in Before the Storm too, as Chloe continues to understand who she really is, even if she can't say it out loud yet. Chloe: I mean...fuck. Are you actually going to make me say it? Rachel: Say what, exactly? Chloe: You know. Like, a friendship. But...more. Rachel: Ah... Chloe: I know. Weird, right? It's just, today was the best day I've had since...since my dad died. And when I almost ruined it just now, the way I ruin everything, it made me realize...whatever's going on between us is special. And later... Let's just say... she erased all doubts.

What, you need me to draw you a map? We made out. As awesome as you may imagine making out with Rachel Amber sounds, believe me, it was a bajillion times awesomer. Chloe sexual awakening! Speaking of sexually awakened, it's clear she would have awakened sooner if Max hadn't moved away and stopped talking to her, with journals like these... The worst part is that even though we haven't spoken in months, even though she habitually ignored my texts so much that I just stopped trying, even though I know, deep down, that she doesn't care about me anymore and that she probably has all new friends up in fucking Seattle... I still miss her. If she came back tomorrow and said "hey Chloe, want to dress up like pirates and be stupid together?", I would take her back in a heartbeat. In a heartbeat. Chloe also has a drawing of Max in her journal that says, put your thoughts into me - x and on that very same page with the picture she writes "Maybe one day, when you return home and apologize for having forgotten all about me and we kiss and make up, I'll show this to you and we can read it and laugh." There's also of course, the scene in Farewell mirroring the pool

Max: Really cute, Chloe.

Chloe takes off the hat.

Chloe: You're not so bad yourself.

The way Chloe and Max look at one another and talk to each other. The feelings they were feeling... they were close to discovering at 13 and 14 they were more than friends...

Chloe pulls Max into a hug and Max drops the ball.

Chloe: You're the frickin' best. That's all. Max: Damn right. About time you realized it.

Chloe: Tell anyone and I'll deny it.

Chloe bumps Max's shoulder with hers.

Max: You are one of a kind, Chloe Price.

Chloe: What?

Max: I'm lucky your my best friend, that's all.

Chloe: Damn right you are, you mushy weirdo! Did you find the amulet?

I think even their childhood predictions to each other are interesting. They each think they'll end up with boyfriends and we know how that ends for both of them - and yet they also correctly predict they'll be living together (Bae end). And then there's Chloe, if Max doesn't tell her about the move, trying to distract her, saying she wants to go to the beach at night with Max, something her parents did together, which would have been a romantic night at the beach and Chloe heard the story and wants the same kind of experience with Max, even if she doesn't herself realize that. Max: I bet that would be beautiful. One day I want to see glowing sand.

Chloe: Me too! My dad saw it once with my mom. He said their feet made blue florescent footprints!

Max: Oh, my god. I want to take a picture of that so bad.

Chloe: Oh, you have to. We can go every night to make sure we don't miss it.

Chloe: I'm so excited! We're gonna have the coolest pirate hangout ever, just like we always talked about.

Max: Yeah, and it would just be for us.

Chloe: Exactly. Our own little place.

But sadly, we know what happens next. Chloe's dad dies and Max moves, and torn apart both girls are left with the lingering feelings neither understood, not until they are reunited again five years later. Chloe has her sexual awakening with Rachel, but would later realize her first love was Max. Both girls would eventually understand the feelings they had for each other even as tweens. William: And always remember: the real treasure is—

Chloe: Friendship.

Max: Love. Max's journal 5 years later. I was surprised that it was like a physical pain in my heart. Is that the power of friendship... or love? I believe you're about to find out, Max Caulfield.

Back to Before the Storm and 16 year old Chloe. In the junkyard Chloe can find a porn magazine in episode 2 where a fully naked woman (boobs and vagina on full display x) is on the cover and Chloe thinks....

High intimacy with Rachel : "These magazines are so gross. Who would look at this? Okay, I'm still looking. But it's only because I'm so fixated by how weird it is." Low intimacy: "Pretty sure this isn't what Rachel meant when she talked about going to LA to be a model. Then again, it's probably not what this person meant, either." If you allow Chloe to explore her feelings for Rachel, just like if you let Max explore her feelings for Chloe, it helps Chloe come to a realization about herself. The reason why she can't feel chemistry for boys or why she feels so indifferent to Elliot or why she says there wasn't much to it when she had sex with Elliot and why Pris stole the show when she rubbed one out is because she isn't sexually attracted to boys and their bodies. You know I wonder if maybe there was a reason she liked punching dicks so much in the D&D games that even Mikey noticed, both from anger at David and Wells but also at her growing understanding of her sexuality and what she is not into. She is not into boys. She is not into dicks. She is into girls. She is very much attracted to girls. She couldn't take her eyes off that magazine of that naked woman. She is into girls. She's into everything about them... girls steal the show literally for Chloe Price. She and Max have parallel situations happening where they each have a boy very interested in them and are discovering who they are, with Chloe at 16 being in the midst of her sexual awakening as Max is starting her sexual awakening at 18. Chloe has Steph gently encouraging her about liking girls (and Chloe also had her to admire - another thing about Steph: she's into girls, and she doesn't give a shit what anyone else thinks about it) and Max has Chloe encouraging her to discover her sexuality too, and also Chloe showing she likes girls and doesn't care what anyone thinks, making Max comfortable to show her feelings in return and helping her confidence. Steph: I've been planning to make a move on Rachel, but not if you two were together.

Chloe: Make a move?

Steph: So, are you?

Chloe: Uh...

Steph: I mean, that's Rachel's business—or maybe yours and Rachel's business—but if you feel comfortable telling me... Chloe: You think we're...together? Steph: It looks to me like you've got a thing for her, and maybe she has a thing for you...and I wouldn't want to get in the way. Chloe: I'm...uh, I—I don't know. It's...it's confusing.

Steph: Yeah, I—I can imagine. You ever wanna talk to me, Chloe, you know you can, right? By the time Max meets Chloe again in 2013, Chloe's confidence in her sexuality is as strong as Steph's was here. Max at 18 had no sexual experience, dating experience, or even a first kiss. She is experiencing her own discovery of her sexuality in this game. Unlike Chloe's journal where she wrote about rubbing one out to a woman, Max's journal suggests she hasn't given much thought to her sexuality and only knows she hasn't been able to find a groove with boys for some reason. Max is so focused on her photography and her own little world it feels clear to me it wasn't until she reunited with Chloe that she began to experience feelings she had never felt before, except in the past with Chloe when she had been to young to realize what any of it meant, further indicating demi for her. I should also make note of the condom Max can find in Chloe's jacket pocket. Some of the fandom look at this and wonder if Chloe may actually be bisexual. I think that condom was likely a left over one from her 'boy toy' phase. Condoms can also be used by lesbians as dental dams during oral sex on the vagina, so there's that possibility too. Though I think it's far more likely Chloe just had lots of condoms during her Elliot/boy toy era and had some left over ones. One thing is for sure, she makes it very clear to Max in conversations she is OVER boys now. I do need to make note of something also that many have felt could indicate bisexuality in Max and Chloe. Max's journals To study photography under Mark Jefferson... SIGH. Insert hearts and flowers. He doesn't try to be too hip, just says what he thinks and expects us to as well. I think he's a genius. OMG I WANT TO MARRY HIM. Just joking. This one class is worth all the social dysfunction. Chloe's comments Chloe: Hot for teacher. Max: Gross! You are out of control. Chloe: Not yet. Just wait until the rager tonight... Max: Ugh, shut up. Chloe: Don't be jealous because Mark Jefferson thinks I'm cool... Max: I am so ignoring you.

I know these comments may again indicate bisexuality for some people, but for me I think of how as a lesbian myself we can see boys and men as cute/hot on a surface level way. We are not unaware of their attractiveness, it's just we have no interest or desire to go any further. It's interesting to me Max also used the words gross once again referring to a guy, though in this case it is also because he is a teacher. Max really admired Jefferson as a photographer, she writes he's been an inspiration for a long time, so having him teach at her school was very exciting for her, Jefferson is practically a celebrity in the Photography world and he's teaching at her school. Not only is Mark Jefferson one of the best photographers in the world, he's also my teacher. And one of the reasons I wanted to come to Blackwell. How often do you get to be mentored by one of your inspirations? I've always loved his deco and goth style and he's so versatile with all of his incredible print and advertising work Unlike her classmates, Max's fangirling seems to be coming from a place of admiration of an idol rather than her classmates, who seem to lust over him, such as Stella saying saying he was pretty hot for an older guy and if Victoria wasn't making a move on him, she would, Stella also comments she heard Rachel had sex with him (which we later learn was true from Rachel's letter). Max doesn't express feeling like this for Jefferson, even in her journal. As for Chloe, as discussed, has already made it clear before this how she feels about men, she is making an obvious observation I can acknowledge too - he IS hot for a teacher.

Chloe can see that. I think Chloe also wanted to tease Max, who she knew admired him and looked up to this teacher and loved seeing Max all flustered talking to a teacher she so admired - she also knew Max was flustered when she heard Max say Oh, hi, Mr. Jefferson. I'm okay. Um, and this is my...friend Chloe. Max hesitates a little to say friend, and we know from the journals we see Max write in the game she was aware they were starting to feel more than friends, so she even stumbles a little using the word friend, suggesting she had been close to considering saying girlfriend but stopped herself. Chloe: Me too. I'll be Max's date. You better dance with us at least once. Chloe also says this, so she was really trying to fluster Max, knowing the Max's date comment wasn't even really a joke with the feelings they had for each other but hadn't spoken out loud yet. So Chloe is having fun teasing Max a little with that and trying to embarrass her in front of the teacher she admires. We also need to discuss Max's Nightmare and one particular picture. First the picture. In episode 3, in Warren's locker, Max finds a picture of her and Warren. x The photo looks strange. Almost like he photoshopped himself into a picture of her. "Bet he developed that in Jefferson's class... but why?" In episode 1 he can say depending on your dialogue choices, Of course. I'd love to tweak one of your selfies with some cool graphics… And Max replies, "That might not suck. I'll let you know. She never lets him know to do it, and thus is a bit confused and uncomfortable sounding when she looks at the photo she finds in his locker.

Now Max's Nightmare. Max goes through so much in the game with no time to process, until she passes out and ends up trapped in her Nightmare. In the nightmare, you'll notice the light house is always in the distance, always a guide. Inside of her nightmare, she is chased and hounded only by men. Jefferson searches for her with a flashlight, soon joined by Frank and Nathan and David, men who have physically harmed her and those she loved or been aggressive and threatening to her. And another boy joins them. Warren. Warren walks the locker room and calls to her....

Warren: Max... Where are you? Max... Come out to play... Come out to play...! Warren: Ape, Ape, Ape... Who wants to "Go Ape"? Go Ape! Go Ape! Ape! Ape!!! Warren: You dig my wheels, Max? Get in the car, I'll take you for a ride... Get in the car! Warren: Brooke loves me, so why don’t you? Huh? What makes you so special? (determinant)Warren: Max, I know you're in here... You can run, but you can’t hide from your white knight... Give it up! Warren: What's up with you and that blue-haired loser? You need an alpha male, baby Warren: Did that get you hot when you saw me fuck up Nathan? I did. Warren: Max... imagine if we were in that Dark Room together... I have... Warren: I said, get in the car. Now. We'll cruise to the drive-in and you'll be close to me forever... and we'll... Go Ape, Ape, Ape!!!

Warren joining her nightmare is not insignificant. Max's Nightmare may be a very strange, scary and crumbling world but everything in her dream speaks to her very real fears and insecurities coming to life. We've talked about how avoidant Max can be with Warren, her journal entries expressing her discomfort on his feelings for her, her discomfort on that photoshopped photo she found. Nightmare Warren was a manifestation of her discomfort of the way he acted with her and his persistence. I want to next explore Max's Nightmare to help better understand the way her nightmare was Max's brain processing everything that had been happening to her and her feelings, so we can see how everything holds significance. The first part of her nightmare is in Jefferson's class, feeling trapped alone with him, forced to say horrible things against her will, like how he had her tied up against her will. All of his posters on his wall now have her on them, the models replaced with HER. x x To me highlighting how uncomfortable she is by his interest in her and the way men look at her. The next nightmare is trapped in the endless dorm hallway, where she meets Kate, who either is angry at her for not stopping her from jumping or angry at her for saving her because she didn't want to live. After she escapes this endless dorm hallway she ends up back in the school halls with everyone moving in reverse, with the doe guiding her through the bathroom door where she first saved Chloe. She then ends up in an art gallery being chased by Jefferson. Once she escapes him, she then ends up having to hide behind portraits from the searching light of Principal Wells making announcements such as saying she is wanted for the deaths of Chloe and Rachel, he even says "I regret to announce that one of your fellow classmates, Maxine Caulfield, has died under tragic circumstances that I promise to investigate after I get my drink on" showing how he hurt her too by the way he treated her when she walked out of the bathroom in episode 1 and was jumped on by him, whether she reports Nathan or not, she is treated like she did something wrong and doesn't feel like she can tell him what happened.

She then reaches the junkyard and is chased by Jefferson, Frank, Nathan, and David. Something very note worthy about the junkyard is how she is only safe from them in Chloe's junkyard sanctuary where she can have a moment of calm. "Max, sit down. You're taking a time-out no matter what. If this is my nightmare, let me have one sanctuary... Of course this is where Chloe... and Rachel... used to hide from the world... But I can't hide for long. Whatever reality I'm in... feels like a bad dream... Am I just not learning my lesson? Maybe your real lesson is to get out of this place... Just don't be afraid, Max. Let them be afraid of you." Soon she ends up in a maze of lockers, where she is once again chased by men, with Warren and Samuel joining them. But why? Starting with Samuel, him joining the dream may seem strange, until you consider the anxiety and distrust of men Max was experiencing. From Frank threatening her and Chloe, to David treating Chloe horribly (or possibly even hitting her) to Principal Wells not believing her or being willing to listen, to Nathan drugging Chloe and Kate, and Jefferson drugging her and Victoria and other girls, I think Samuel joining the dreams was a reflection of how Max was feeling distrustful of the men around her. She actually grows worried and concerned when she finds in Samuel's custodial room Rachel's photos and missing person posters and a silky scarf she knows doesn't belong to him. I think that's why he appears in her dream, as a manifestation of her distrust and anxiety of men after the events of the week. Now Warren, as I said, is also there in the nightmare for a reason. He is acting as a desperate lover, and I think Max felt that way about him in the game at times, judging by how she often ignored his texts or avoided him or wrote ew in her journal or how she sees him as a brother. She wasn't comfortable with his attraction to her, wasn't comfortable with the photo he appears to have photoshopped himself into. The dream version is obviously a more aggressive version of Warren, but it speaks to her inner fears about him and how uncomfortable she feels with his feelings for her. Perhaps because, she also isn't even into boys and is in the process of discovering that. In the nightmare, Max can also look into Warren's locker. And what she finds?

x She finds this. More photoshopping from Warren, with him photoshopping her face onto the bodies of women in sexy outfits taped all over his locker, with the words My Max written in his locker and a Max doll inside. You will also notice Max's selfie, the unedited version that Max finds in episode 3 in Warren's locker that he photoshopped her into. This is more indication on how uncomfortable Warren was making Max with his photoshopped photo she found and his behavior in general. It also feels like further fears of a lesbian uncomfortable with the male attraction and attention on her. She does not like it. She does not want it. To move forward with the dream, to further drive home the meaning put behind the things that happen in her dream, after Max escapes the men chasing her, she ends up sitting on the bench and ending up trapped in a snow globe as she watches her 13 year old self tear up the photo she used to save William. She then gets a text from William that says, "Hey Max, would you say hi to Chloe and Joyce? Don't forget to remind them that you let me die." The guilt of her failure to save William and letting him die again. She even gets a text from Joyce if she accepts Chloe's wish. "Max, we have surveillance video of you overdosing Chloe. You cannot escape now. There is no reality where you can hide now. Don't you dare underestimate me. You hear?

Max then ends up back in Mark Jefferson's dark room tied up, with him taking photos of her. Chloe is there too, and this time she's being quite mean to Max. But she's not being like Warren and acting creepy. Nightmare Chloe is voicing all of Max's insecurities in Chloe's voice.

Mr. Jefferson: I think you’d be perfect for my new photo series on retro-grunge... You have the same qualities that I loved in Rachel Amber... but not Max...

Chloe: Max is a fucking child...

Mr. Jefferson: Oh Christ, I know... and she never shuts up, does she?

Chloe: I’m so over her hipster bullshit.

Mr. Jefferson: I think everyone at Blackwell is over Max... Let’s prove it. Max kissed Chloe

Chloe: Booyah, Warren! I thought you were all over Max’s shit...

Warren: She's not all that... so who cares if she doesn't kiss me?

Chloe: You should have seen her make a move on me in my room... Hella lame.

Warren: Max should see me make a move on you... Come here...

Chloe kisses Warren. Max only kissed Warren

Chloe: Booyah, Warren! I thought you were all over Max’s shit...

Warren: Not after she kissed me... her breath was ass and no tongue...

Chloe: I hear that. I'm not into... nerds but you're pretty cute...

Warren: I'm not into Max, anyway. So let's bust a move...

Chloe kisses Warren. To note, Max very much looks like she gives Chloe tongue in their long kiss in Bay ending, unlike her very fast kiss with Warren. Having never kissed before until she does Chloe or Warren or both, she feels very insecure on if she is good at kissing.

Chloe: Holy shit, Warren! Max is trying to play us both!

Warren: I guess she's not as innocent as she acts...

Chloe: Not when she's trying to hook up with both of us...

Warren: I only want to go ape with you, Chloe... Come here...

Chloe: Booyah, Warren! I thought you were all over Max’s shit...

Warren: She's sure the hell not into me at all... who cares?

Chloe: I guess we're "not her type"... like Max has a fucking type?

Warren: But she does... She's into Mr. Jefferson... Now come here...

Chloe kisses Warren.

You'll notice whether Max kisses Chloe or not, this is all about Chloe flirting with a boy and taunting Max with what a loser she thinks she is, mirroring Max's own fears that she isn't cool or good enough for Chloe. She writes in her journal, I feel like a groupie when I talk to Chloe about our life experience... she has me so beat. I take pictures, she takes action. You might argue Warren was kissing Chloe too and that maybe she was experiencing some pain watching him flirt with others... but I don't think so. Max never admits to liking him back in the game. The most she says is in the alternate reality when Chloe asks if she's dating anyone at Blackwell. She says, "I was supposed to go out with this guy named Warren, but I don't think he's into me anymore..." or she says "This guy Warren asked me out, but I turned him down. Now he's with somebody else..." She doesn't say this boy I liked asked me out but now he's going with someone else, she just says she was 'supposed' to go out with him (because he asked about the drive in). With Chloe, she's straight up writing journals about seeing her as more than a friend. I don't think Max was experiencing pain and jealously because Warren was kissing Chloe, but because Chloe was kissing him. Her journal even confirms she wasn't upset about Warren kissing someone else, but upset Chloe was kissing someone other than her. Maybe that's why I hated watching Chloe being so cruel in the nightmare, calling me names and flirting with all those people... I was surprised that it was like a physical pain in my heart. Is that the power of friendship... or love? There is no mention of being in pain watching Warren kissing someone else.

Nathan: Goddamn, you are a sexy bitch! Why hang out with Max, huh? Chloe: Boredom. Plus she’s like my personal puppet. Nathan: I hear that. Do you... want to party? I got a drugstore in my room. Chloe: Oh shit! Look at Max spying on us... Take a fucking picture, bitch! Or take a selfie! Chloe stands on the couch in her underwear, dancing. Chloe: See, this is how you bust a move, Max... No mosh pit for you, shaka brah! Chloe: Damn, Victoria... You're a real woman... not a little girl like Max... Victoria: I fucking love your tats, Chloe. You're so hot. I can’t believe it took us so long to hook up... They begin to make out.

Chloe: Why did you get rewind powers? You don’t even know how to use them... Rachel’s dead and you’re still alive. Life is... so not fair. Chloe appears in front of Max and takes photos of her.

Chloe: I wish you would have never come back to Arcadia Bay... You’re the real storm. Chloe continues to voice Max's insecurities, she even voices Max's insecurities over being seen as a little girl. I always took this as Max insecure over her small chest, something smaller breasted girls often struggle with, making them almost feel like little girls. Nightmare Chloe is voicing every insecurity Max has that is making Max think Chloe wouldn't really want her. There is nothing like the sense of relief after waking up from a vivid nightmare. Despite all the terrible things that have been happening this past week, I felt so free and hopeful when I finally woke up. And my nightmare was so obvious... all my fears about being an artist, about my rewind power, and, of course, about my partner in crime and time, Chloe Price.

We've been through so much together and we might go through more, depending on how this all ends... either in Heaven or Hella... Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Max's journal continues to confirm the nightmare was about her fears, her rewind power and all about Chloe. Now the dream changes again, with Max trapped in the Two Whale Diner's bathroom with all these numbers written all over the room. Max is scared there may be no escape. But there's one number that shows in the mirror she can see. 0311. Chloe's birthday. Just like Chloe remembered her birthday, Max's sub conscious made Chloe's birthdate the number to save her from the room she was trapped in. Max then walks through the Two Whales Diner as everyone begs for her to save them. She soon encounters herself, Alternate Max, who challenges Max's choices and decisions. Alternate Max: Holy shit, are you cereal? I'm you, dumbass. Or I'm one of many Maxes you've left behind...

Alternate Max: Oh, so you want help? Thought you could control everybody and everything, huh? Twist time around your fingers

Alternate Max: No, you only wanted to be popular. And once you got these amazing powers, your big plan was to trick people into thinking you give a rat's ass. Alternate Max: By telling people what they want to hear? You were just looking for a shortcut, because you can't make friends on your own. Alternate Max: Please, stop playing innocent. You're a goddamn hypocrite. You've left a trail of death and suffering behind you. Max: This has to be my destiny to save her... I wouldn't be trapped in here if I didn't believe that... Alternate Max: No kidding. Chloe trapped you with her drama. Guns, drugs, Rachel... Even stealing money from the handicapped fund. She's just using you, dude./Alternate Max: No kidding. Chloe trapped you with her drama... guns, drugs, Rachel... She's just using you, dude.

Alternate Max: Like, she even asked you to end her life and do what she couldn't do by herself.

Max: Chloe does a better job of guilt-tripping me than you do.

Alternate Max: Because you let her bully you. It's called "Stockholm Syndrome." But you didn't do that homework... so you'll have to learn the hard way. Like Rachel...

Max: Just shut up. You're not scaring me anymore.

Alternate Max: I'd be more worried about Chloe killing us than Jefferson... Alternate Max: Max, do you really think she has any feelings for us? You're just another puppet...

Alternate Max brings up some true insecurities on how Max used her power and the choices she made, but Max boldly challenges this Alternate Max. Max isn't afraid anymore. This twisted nightmare version of herself is questioning all of Max's choices and also tries to turn her on Chloe, trying to suggest Chloe bullies her. I feel the need to give my Before you say Chloe is a bad friend post another poke - this Alternate Max is the darkest parts of Max trying to break her and Chloe apart, and Max, stronger and braver than ever is fighting back. She isn't scared anymore. And guess who finally shows up in the dream? Chloe. Right at the moment Alternate Max is questioning if Chloe really has feelings for her.

Chloe: Dude, do not even fuck with her head! She knows what we went through together this week and you don't! There's no way you can break up our team! This is reality! Chloe comes in and tells Alternate Max off. She calls her out, calls her out for lying and trying to mess with Max's head. Her anger at this Alternate Max drives Alternate Max out, and Max ends up in the final part of the nightmare, walking through a world of all their frozen memories in time.

Max relives everything, talking in Chloe's truck upon reuniting, Chloe gifting her William's camera, Chloe dancing on her bed as Max takes a picture, them on the cliff together discussing how it feels like destiny they're together again, them together at the Two Whales Diner, the junkyard, Max worrying her powers might not last forever and Chloe promising they will, forever. Them calling each other their partners in time and crime at Blackwell, swimming at the pool, calling each other cute, Max waking up next to Chloe in bed for a photo and Chloe photo bombing her, Chloe's kiss dare, the discovery in Frank's RV, when she goes back in time to save William FOR Chloe, she and Chloe at the beach talking about the golden hour, she and Chloe looking back on childhood memories and Chloe requesting her final memory be with Max... Max's excitement returning to Chloe again, the dark room discovery, Chloe crying as she finds Rachel.

And then Chloe's voice, calling out to Max.

Chloe: Come on Max, we’re almost there! Please wake up! Max, can you hear me? Hang on, Max, we can make it! Listen to me! Max! We’re near the lighthouse! Wake up! Dammit, Max, don't let me down!

Chloe: Max, come on now! Don't worry... we'll be okay. It is Chloe who saves Max from the nightmare. Chloe is the lighthouse. She is the guiding light. When Max awakens, Chloe has gotten them to safety. Max's love of Chloe leads her out of the nightmare. And now that we have gone over the dream in detail, you can see how Warren's role in the nightmare was that role for a reason. Everything in the dream had meaning. Max came out of that dream realizing they were more than friends. Questioning if it was the power of friendship or love? I think Chloe Price and Max Caulfield are both lesbians. By the end Life is Strange Before the Storm, Chloe has figured herself out. She likes girls and girls only. Max is on the path to figuring herself out in Life is Strange. Max may be able to kiss Warren in the game, but Chloe also kissed boys and had sex with them before she realized herself. I understand not everyone may agree, I understand the bisexual representation many see with Max is important but I also think it's important to not ignore what the game shows us and take that into consideration. Going back to the Cliff, where Max says to Chloe Max: Fuck that! No... no way! You are my number one priority now. You are all that matters to me. All she is thinking about on that cliff is Chloe, not Warren, but Chloe. Her love for Chloe outshines him or anyone else in the town. You can't not notice it is only Chloe with Max as the storm comes toward the town. She didn't get Warren to safety, she got Chloe there, Chloe got her there. She says these things to Chloe on the beach. Max: Oh, you're alive! You're alive, oh... Both of us! I did so much to bring you back, Chloe... and it worked. It actually worked. You're with me again. All she is thinking about is Chloe. Max: Maybe I willed it subconsciously, or something. I always wanted my life to be special... an adventure... but not without you. And it didn't happen until I moved back here, so... without you, my powers wouldn't even exist. On the cliff, Chloe: You... You could use that photo to change everything right back to when you took that picture... All that would take is for me to... to... [Chloe holds her face in her hands]

Max: Fuck that! No... no way! You are my number one priority now. You are all that matters to me.

Chloe: I know. You proved that over and over again... even though I don't deserve it. I'm so selfish... not like my mom... Look what she had to give up and live through... and she did. She deserves so much more than to be killed by a storm in a fucking diner. Even my step... father deserves her alive. There's so many more people in Arcadia Bay who should live... way more than me...

Max: Don't say that... I won't trade you. Chloe: You're not trading me. Maybe you've just been delaying my real destiny... Look at how many times I've almost died or actually died around you. Look at what's happened in Arcadia Bay ever since you first saved me. I know I've been selfish, but for once I think I should accept my fate... our fate...

Max: Chloe...

Chloe: Max, you finally came back to me this week, and... you did nothing but show me your love and friendship. You made me smile and laugh, like I haven't done in years. Wherever I end up after this... in whatever reality... all those moments between us were real, and they'll always be ours. No matter what you choose, I know you'll make the right decision.

In the end, Max can let Chloe convince her the right thing to do is save everyone, but it is important to note it is Chloe who has to give Max the idea, as Max cannot let her mind go there with Chloe as she loves her to much. If she chooses to let Chloe die, she gives Chloe a long, long kiss goodbye, full of her love and feelings. If she chooses to save her, Chloe promises her she'll always be with her and Max says Forever, showing her love for Chloe and that she wants to be with her... forever.

Oh and I almost forget to mention this special detail During the storm, Max finds this x about October road trips and drive ins. Max thinks "If we can make it out of this, Chloe..." She isn't thinking about Warren, she's thinking about wanting to go on a road trip or drive in with Chloe. There are also lots of unused audio x that really make things clear like this one. Max during the interactive Chloe and Max museum path in her nightmare: "Oh, my Chloe... It feels like we've lived a thousand lives this week. I'd do anything just to wake up next to you... Maybe if I get to the lighthouse, this will all finally end.. x In February 2016, Michel Koch confirmed that Max and Chloe is the ultimate pairing during a Twitch stream with Luc Baghadoust. When interviewers asked about romance (i.e. Max and Chloe's relationship), he replied: "Chloe et Max ne marchent qu'ensemble", which means they "only walked together" (as also in romantically attached to each other) as in they are a great pair and can only function with each other.

Another point I want to make as I near the end of this post, that Max and Chloe's love interests are women (Max with Chloe, Chloe with Rachel and Max) and they both express at times disgust towards the opposite sex and their supposed loved interests (Warren and Elliot) that feels very lesbian in nature, in contrast to Sean and Alex who are bisexual, who have equal sexual attraction shown to both sexes, with Sean having Cassidy and Finn and Alex having Steph and Ryan and being equally attracted and comfortable with them, versus how Max and Chloe behave with Warren and Elliot. Their love for the women in their lives outshines the men they feel discomfort in, as Max's nightmare even explores. I think if Max and Chloe were actually bisexual, they wouldn't spend all their screen time only able to see boys as surface level cute (or hot as Chloe put Jefferson) and otherwise be repulsed by boys. Having played this game many times, closely paying attention to the scenes, the dialogue, the journals, the texts... I truly think it was the intent of the creators that Max and Chloe are lesbians. But I think they as of yet have not confirmed anything because they feel it is important to allow players to discover on their own what their sexuality is, by piecing together details they so carefully crafted into the story. I still hope one day they confirm lesbian to us. I understand the bi label is important for many for Max, but playing the game so many times... lesbian just feels more Max. And for those of us who have taken notice, we want more people to see what we see. Thank you for reading, feel free to share around or send to people you want to better understand why some of us view Max and Chloe as lesbians - though I think most agree Chloe is a lesbian, it's more Max that has everyone divided! This is a post I wanted to write for my Max blog to share my headcanons around Max being exclusively same sex attracted along with Chloe and for others who feel the same about them being lesbians to have a post that covers lots of details that can be shared or quoted for those who wanted others to understand better why so many call Max a lesbian too!

#lesbian #life is strange #pricefield #max caulfield #chloe price

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plnkdemon · 6 months

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I HAVE HEARD IT SAID THAT LOVE TURNS PEOPLE SOFT BUT I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE BRUTAL.

satan x gn!mc (but this is personal venting, so written to express the trauma of repressed female rage)

cw/tw: nothing, mc’s inner thoughts could be read as self-critical, one implication of trauma from family

please let me know if i’ve missed anything

“i’m not interested in being easy on the eyes. i want them to flinch, think twice before they reach out their callous hands to bruise. i want to be a constant reminder to men that not everything is theirs for the taking.”

“you’re beautiful,” satan whispers through the seam in the door. in my head we’re both sat with our backs against the wood like our very own scene from a movie, iconographic and symbolic of two sides of the same coin or some other allegorical bullshit that would make reality seem more impactful to the audience. “i mean, you always are but you make wrath look so breathtaking. i’ve never felt that way about my sin until i saw it on you.”

the echo of my laughter sounds watery and defeated. “it’s a family heirloom,” i admit to the image in my head of him.

“generational trauma. i read an article about that.”

cautiously, i slide my hand across the tiles so that my fingertips brush against his that still peek out from beneath the door. unlike the movie screen in my mind, his hand feels warm and calloused and his index finger has a groove from a scar long since healed.

“satan?” i call out even though i know he’s still there.

“yes?” he answers dutifully.

“do you hate me?” the question itches my throat from the raw vulnerability, but his presence gives me hope that one day i’d be able to speak like this face to face without feeling like acid is burning me from the inside out.

“no — “ his fingers curl around my own. “ — even when i hate you, i don’t hate you. even when i get so angry i could kill you, i can’t bring myself to leave a scratch on you. i love you when it’s easy and when it’s unbearable. even when we both hate each other, i’m completely and unconditionally in love with you.”

my breath catches as a sob escapes me. for once i don’t second-guess my rationality or trustfulness. instead, i believe him and while i’m still alone in that tiny bathroom with chipped tiles and stained grout, it doesn’t feel like i have to be anymore. satan’s hand flounders for a second when i pull away — most likely anxious that he’s said the wrong thing or revealed too much — until i turn the handle and open the door, falling into his arms with no doubt that he’ll catch me.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me satan #obey me satan x reader #obey me satan x mc #satan x gn!mc #satan fluff #satan x mc #satan x reader #only a fictional man could empathize with the sort of anger that lives inside me

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deebris · 1 year

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Melancholy II

Kakashi Hatake x wife reader

Synopsis: To learn to overcome the loss of your child, you and Kakashi went through challenges, and it certainly wasn't easy at all. The tragedy harbored bad feelings in your family, and you two tried not to let it affect your sons. But now, with the discovery of a fourth pregnancy, things can change again - for better or worse

Warnings: trauma, mention of misscariage, mention of depression, labor pain, argment, intimacy, kiss.

Words: 5.3k

Observation: Happy ending - part I here

The hot summer breeze made your hair sway along with the loose leaves of the trees, revealing your serene and concentrated face. Kakashi admired the beauty you exuded while he was looking from afar, not having the courage to go up to you, at least not where you were now. If you were in any other environment, he would definitely meet you and give you all the praise you deserve. But he preferred to walk away.

You were kneeling in front of your child's grave with your youngest son Kenji, both clasping your hands in prayer as you meditated. The boy always insisted on accompanying you during your monthly visits to the cemetery, helping you put new flowers and clean the place.

He always finished his meditation first, but he didn't dare get up until you finished too. Sitting still was difficult for a child, you know, and so his effort to remain patient was all the sweeter in your eyes.

After a brief five minutes, you had no more prayers to say and opened your eyes to see him transfixed on the name written on the tombstone: Satoru.

That same year you lost the baby, Kakashi advised you not to find out the sex of the child, but you were stubborn and asked Sakura anyway. You weren't even sure if it would be possible to find that out, as you didn't know if your pregnancy was advanced enough to reveal such a thing. But asking doesn't cost anything, does it? And then she told you it was going to be another boy. It was even a little comical, it seemed like you were destined to be the mother of boys, and after that you couldn't help but name him. You imagined what his little face would look like, you dreamed about him, wishing he was more than a fantasy.

What would his personality be like? How would his voice sound? Will you finally have a child that looks like you? Your husband was lucky, both of your children were perfect copies of him. What's the use of carrying a baby for 9 months and being betrayed like that by genetics? How unfair. Maybe that's why they say not to name dead babies, to go on in the void and forget, but you didn't like the feeling. Forgetting felt wrong.

Kakashi didn't want you to get attached to a child you've never even met, he said it would only make you suffer further. And for a while it felt like it was all about you, and only you. But you weren't silly, he was ashamed to admit that he was afraid of suffering from that too, of getting attached. Your husband was afraid that he wouldn't be able to move on, that it would haunt you both forever. Time heals all, isn't that what people say? Didn't he once tell you that you guys would get over it? So why weren't you getting over it?

Of course, after a while the pain got easier to deal with, but it was still there. And you constantly missed something, someone. Your family seemed incomplete.

He didn't get mad when you went after finding out the sex of the child, and he didn't fight when you gave him a name, but he was furious when you said you wanted to make a grave.

Spring - 1 year and 8 months ago:

You were cleaning the kitchen with Katsuo when the argument with your husband started. There was tension after the two of you exchanged some dangerous words, nothing had really gotten serious yet, but your eldest decided to immediately drop the uncompleted work and leave the room. He didn't even bother to excuse himself, just wanting to leave as soon as possible.

"That's enough for me!" He got up from the table abruptly "I tried, at all times, to understand you. I also suffered from this!" You remembered the conversation you had with him the day you cried together in the hallway, the way you found him, totally in pieces. Like you. "And all I wanted was for you to try to understand me too!" he spoke in a serious tone, but never shouting "But you just decide you want to make a grave, when I've told you countless times to keep it anonymous!"

Even when angry, your husband was calm. He was obviously exhausted, but there were no signs of violence there. You wondered how anyone could be so passive. If anyone else saw how Kakashi treated his family and friends, they would never believe that he really is the ninja of rumors. The man who defeated Zabuza Momochi, who fought Obito Uchiha - the fearsome Copy Ninja.

"Do you really want to immortalize this suffering by carving it into a stone?!" you listened silently for the moment, having already set the dishes aside in the sink and getting the reaction you feared he would have before telling him your pitiful wish "I already have too many people to visit the cemetery, Y/n..." His voice cracked for a moment making you shiver "Please, don't give me another one."

Your heart broke into little pieces. That was what you needed to realize how much distress you were causing him, that you were acting like a monster with the man who had never done anything but be good to you. Because that's what you were being, isn't it? A monstrous one. But not in a thousand years would Kakashi see you that way, he wasn't able to read your thoughts to tell that you weren't a bad person like you thought. He couldn't compare his pain to yours, having closely followed your suffering beyond emotional, physical. He just didn't know how to deal with what you were asking him to do.

"You don't need to visit…" you spoke softly hoping that the situation would work out for the two of you. The last few months were the worst of your life, you felt a need all the time, a need to fill a void. You feared that you were slipping into depression, but you tried not to let yourself get bogged down in those emotions.

"Stop being selfish!" Kakashi finally exploded, in a tone you've never heard him speak, abandoning his calm posture. He regretted it as soon as he said the cruel words. His wife wasn't a selfish person, far from it, you were the most selfless person he has met.

You felt your throat close, as if you were going to choke, and your eyes burning with an imminent urge to cry. But you can't cry, if you cry, Kakashi will be destroyed.

"I-" you were interrupted by a whimper in the distance, feeling stupid for having forgotten that Katsuo and Kenji were at home, clearly hearing the argument. If making you cry was bad, making your kids cry would affect him twice as hard.

A very heavy aura hung over the residence, what the hell was going on with you two? You and your husband weren't a bickering couple, in fact, you were the complete opposite of that. It happened at times that you blurted out hostility in the presence of the children, and on those few occasions you noticed that small things were enough to frighten the boys, used to the fact that their parents rarely fought.

Only this time it was serious, and to top it all off, the one screaming was their father. How could they not be scared? Kakashi never raised his voice even to correct them, and now he looked very angry. From you?

You abandoned your discussion and left him alone in the kitchen to check which of the boys was crying, and when you arrived in the living room you discovered that it was Kenji.

"Mommy..." The child sobbed your name when he saw you and you took him to comfort. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and gripped the fabric of your clothing tightly - shivering.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." you rubbed your hand on his back, sliding it up and down in an attempt to soothe him. "It's going to be okay. Shh..."

You shivered as you saw the guilty look on Kakashi's face as he froze in the middle of the room. He must have followed you, and you felt so ashamed of having caused all this that you couldn't stand to stay there any longer, going up the stairs with Kenji in your arms to escape from his eyes.

Katsuo was already a little older, he understood what was going on between his parents, both you and your husband knew about it. From your shared room, even with your son still crying, you could hear a door slamming loudly in the hallway and Katsuo yelling at Kakashi.

You hated to fight, Katsuo hated to see you fight. But for some reason it kept repeating itself.

Kakashi entered the room after a few minutes, skittish as a cat and hearing Kenji sniffle clinging to you.

"Shh" You kept whispering in his ear while singing a lullaby, rocking him, and the boy called to you softly repeatedly, pleading.

You were surprised to notice that Kakashi was already right next to you at the end of the bed, he put his hand on your son's back to get his attention, but that made him cringe and bury his face even more in you.

"Kenji." Kakashi called after him, surprised that his son was trying to avoid him.

"Honey, daddy is talking." you tried to intervene.

"I don't want you to fight..." he said, suddenly crying loudly when he remembered the two of you arguing a few minutes ago.

"Let's not fight anymore" your husband smoothed his hair as he still refused to show his face to his father "I promise." Kakashi looked at his wife in anticipation that you would help him convince the child.

"It's true, little angel."

And really, you never fought again. But instead, uncomfortable moments of silence began to plague you and him too often, preferring to remain silent when you realized that the situation could lead to a fight. And this has affected your communication with your husband, making the two of you more distant.

Now it's been two years. After that day Kakashi made your son's grave without you even knowing, maybe trying to redeem himself for something that wasn't his fault. You had completely dropped the idea and didn't expect you guys to talk about it again.

You didn't know if surprise was the exact word you were looking for to describe what you felt, but it probably came closest. Imagine your amazement: you were at the Memorial Stone, getting ready to leave after visiting all the deceased relatives and friends on a Sunday, when he told you there was still one person missing. He showed you the way and you were moved to see the name written on the tombstone. That was the last time he was there, after which you never saw him there again. But Kakashi made sure to memorize your reaction that day, you looked amazed.

Breaking out of your thoughts, you smiled at Kenji who was still focused on the carved letters and gave his chubby cheek a kiss to get the youngster's attention.

"Let's visit Grandpa Sakumo's sepulcher." you took his hand, which was much smaller than yours, going to your father-in-law's tomb.

You didn't know Kakashi's father, but from the stories you heard your husband tell the boys, he was an honorable man. He never avoided telling his children about the shinobi's tragic end, as he thought it was important that they have a reference of strong values when they become ninja too.

Your eldest son was not so childish anymore, although he was still a child. But with only 10 he had already developed an unshakable sense of justice, which perhaps neither you or Kakashi could mold so easily anymore. He would certainly be a man of good character, just as you would expect Kenji to be too.

"Katsuo is here, Mom! Look." Kenji shook your hands together excitedly when he found his brother already meditating at Sakumo's grave, he probably visited the Memorial Stone with his father first and then came here. Kakashi could spend hours in that part of the cemetery, sometimes coming in the middle of the week, just to stare at the names of his two former companions - Obito and Rin.

"Be silent so as not to interrupt him." You said gently, motioning with your fingers for him to keep quiet and the three of you ended up going home without Kakashi.

"Thanks for the food, Mom." Katsuo thanked you as he removed his nearly full plate from the table.

"You bad ate."

You decided to start dinner when the clock showed that your husband was already 1 hour late, which was unusual, at least not without letting you know. You thought that something unforeseen arose in the Hokage's office. Things have been crazy lately, everyone running out of time to prepare for Naruto's inauguration ceremony as Nanadaime. But the news was encouraging, for you mainly because it meant he would be spending more time at home.

"I'm not hungry." he said in a despondent tone, going upstairs and locking the bedroom door. He always acted like this after visits, and the reason was you. He didn't want you to visit Satoru, interpreting that he was the reason you've been so bad these last few years. And no matter how many times you told him that it wasn't anyone's fault and that visiting the place didn't hurt you, he was still young to understand.

"Can I have his dango?" Kenji asked making you sigh, everything was going so well for a peaceful day.

You suddenly felt like throwing up, bile rising in your throat catching you off guard. You immediately ran to the bathroom and emptied everything into the toilet, nearly spilling your guts out. You sat down on the floor and took a breath, feeling more dizzy for having bent down so quickly, making you break out in a cold sweat.

"Mom, are you ok?" Kenji stopped at the entrance to the room.

"I just got sick all of a sudden, it'll pass." you both heard the front door open.

"Kakashi?" you shouted his name from the bathroom, finding it irregular that he didn't announce his arrival.

"It's me, I'm home." Kenji dashed off to meet him, completely forgetting about you. Daddy's boy, you thought jealously of his preference for the father.

"Daddy, you missed dinner." your child said as you brushed your teeth to get the bitter taste off tongue.

"Oh yeah? You didn't eat mine, you sweet tooth?" you heard your husband's muffled voice in the bathroom playing with him. If you hadn't experienced it three times before, you'd try to convince yourself that it was a bad thing caused by spoiled food, but there's no use denying it, you know the symptoms all too well.

When you felt that you were discouraged, you sought out Sakura as quickly as possible, trying to be more thorough. You only trusted her, knowing well how skilled the kunoichi was. Well, you wasn't sure how far along you were, although Sakura had tried to give you a more accurate diagnosis, even that you weren't tracking your cycles accurately either. But you'd venture to say it was the start of the second trimester.

You haven't imagined yourself pregnant again, in fact you haven't imagined yourself like this since you gave birth for the second time. You feared losing that child too, a fear you didn't feel with Katsuo and Kenji. You sure turned into a chicken.

You didn't even want to think about the impact this baby would have on you before and after birth, it could be negative or positive. Would this child fill your void? Would you be substituting one child for another? Would that be cruelty? You asked yourself so many questions, but you forced your brain to relax, reminding yourself to remain calm for the sake of the baby in your belly.

In your first two pregnancies, you only had positive thoughts. You weren't nervous about the birth, although some women in the village tried to scare you, and you were fascinated by the idea of becoming a mother. You and Kakashi were so happy, and now you would too. No matter the future, no matter the others, you would only have good thoughts and that new child would be born strong and healthy. This baby would be wanted, if only by you.

You've settled Kenji into his bed, adjusting the blankets so he doesn't feel hot at night. You said goodnight and closed the door to his room, leaving a gap for light from the hallway to enter the room. You knocked on Katsuo's door and tried to talk to him, but the boy just shouted good night to you, not bothering to come and open the door. Kakashi was still downstairs and it was late, so you took the opportunity to go talk to him. Night shifts were one of the only times you and your husband could talk alone.

"Everything is good?" you asked when you saw him sprawled on the couch. Most of the lights were already off, except for the hallway light and a few lightbulbs around the house.

"I thought you were already asleep." He said surprised to see you still walking around the house.

You walked further into the room and made a sign that you were going to join him on the couch, so Kakashi raised an arm to welcome you beside him. You laid back and rested your head on the ninja's chest, hugging his torso as he lowered his arm to rest on your waist.

After a while just smelling the fabric softener of his shirt that you washed, you moved and placed a kiss on his exposed neck, climbing into his lap to kiss his lips next.

Kakashi loved those moments with you, because they were rare, the main culprit being his work. So when it happened he felt like he was in heaven. Your mouth was soft, sweet and the man's lips fit yours like a glove, but he gently pulled you away before the kiss got deeper.

"Not here." Kakashi didn't like being so intimate with you outside the bedroom, embarrassed that the boys would catch you. Even an innocent kiss made him uncomfortable, and you respected his space even though you had no intention of taking things to another level right now.

And it was funny to see him feel uncomfortable with things like that, considering he's the biggest fan of an erotic book series. Once Katsuo almost got you in the bathroom and Kakashi spent the whole week avoiding touching you, even when you were alone, like it was some kind of crime.

"I need to talk to you." you said getting off him.

"About...?"

"I'm Pregnant." you said bluntly, feeling him tense up. His heartbeat skipped a beat, coming back slow and then speeding up a little.

"Do you think or-"

"I'm sure." you lifted your head to look into his eyes and realized he was staring at the floor in confusion. You placed a hand on his cheek, drawing your husband's attention to you.

"I don't know how long, but I think it's well underway." you two were silent for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity "Kakashi, I think I'm past the third month."

He felt more hopeful, knowing full well the importance of yout last sentence.

"Darling..." you were going to continue talking when you saw him gulping, but he grabbed you by wrapping both arms around his wife.

"I understood." he rested his lips in her hair, enjoying the comfort of the hug "When did you find out?"

"Last week." He immediately broke the hug.

"Why did you wait so long to tell me?"

"I was trying to work up the courage..." you were sincere "you want this child, don't you?"

"You shouldn't even consider thinking such a thing. Of course I want to." he said kind of scolding you "Why would you think I don't?"

That would be the conversation you probably would have had with him years ago, if you had the chance to sit down with him and tell about the pregnancy in those days.

"I don't know. I think it's because we never planned a third child." you moved from him to the other side of the couch to talk more seriously "With Kenji and Katsuo it was different."

"You shouldn't worry about me, you know I would never reject our child." he straightened up, coming out of the relaxed position he'd been in before, feeling a flicker of doubt about your trust in him "You know that, don't you?"

"I know you, I know the type of man you are..." you played with your hands trying to relax "But I can't help but get nervous, everything seems to scare me lately." He noticed your hands moving frantically and wrapped his in hers.

"You are my wife; you are the mother of my two children. We have been married for 11 years, I would never abandon you, or abandon a child just because it was not planned." he stopped talking, wondering if he should tell you the next part "Sometimes I think about Satoru, and I wish he were with us." He added and you widened your eyes, Kakashi had never called the baby by name. In fact, he never spoke to you about him unless necessary or in discussions. "Do you think I wished him dead?" Kakashi asked afraid of her answer.

But what? Kakashi thought so? You would never connect his desire to leave the baby incognito with something so cruel and obscure, you understood perfectly well why he didn't want to name him. You always understood.

"Never." you turned desperately to your husband stroking his hands. "I never thought that of you, Kakashi." You shed thick tears and sank your body into his, wanting to stay there forever. Safe and comfortable in his arms.

"Please, do not cry." he asked you "I'm going to take care of you; I'm going to take care of this baby. It's going to be okay."

You would venture to say that this was your smoothest pregnancy. You didn't have to deal with jealous of any of the boys, and Kakashi was more present, not being Hokage anymore. It was just wonderful, like a dream. You sometimes feared that everything would start to fall apart, because it was too good to be true. It was strange that after so long drowning in grief, things could be starting to turn around again. Your family was getting back to normal.

In the 8th month, your water broke. It was early for delivery and you just freaked out. What if something is wrong? Kakashi was calm, knowing that a baby being born at the 8th wasn't that dangerous, but you couldn't stay calm at all. When Sakura finally came to your rescue, you felt more relieved after she confirmed what Kakashi told you about you being on time, trusting her while you screamed in pain from the contractions.

"The boys were born a week late, remember?" your husband tried to strike up a conversation with you to distract you

If you said you remembered, it would be a lie. Kakashi kept that information for that long? How was it possible that he remembered and you didn't? But soon his thoughts were interrupted by another wave of pain, which made him feel sorry for you for having to go through this.

"Soon our baby will be here with us." He said wiping the sweat off your forehead "It'll pass soon"

No, I won't go soon. And you both knew it, but you let yourself be trusted by him.After an 11-hour delivery you heard a baby crying loudly. The burning sensation occurred in the child's body because pulling air into lungs for the first time made the kid scream, just like every baby when it is born. Those outside the hospital room heard it too, announcing that you had managed to bring your child into the world. You can finally rest, sweaty from the effort it took to push. Your body was all asleep, but you just wanted to hold your newborn right now.

Sakura handed the baby into Kakashi's arms after he cut the umbilical cord, and then brought him close to you.

"It's a girl, Kakashi-sama." you cried with happiness when you heard that. You were the mother of a little girl.

Kakashi carefully placed her in your arms, seeing that you were still weak and might not be able to support your weight. But he noticed that his daughter was so small and so light that even the wind could carry her.

"She is a very strong and healthy girl. Congratulations to you both!" Sakura said happy for you, finding the sight of you holding a baby comforting, reminding her of holding Sarada for the first time.

"Why is she so small?" Kakashi asked her as you admired the blurry features of the child in your arms.

"Oh, she just is." Sakura replied nonchalantly, making Kakashi relax "I'm sure she'll grow up as strong as her brothers. But I'll leave you alone now." The woman left the room after collecting some objects and finishing filling out a hospital form.

You had finally realized that she was very close with her father, yet another clone of Kakashi for your misfortune. But you couldn't wait for her hair to stay long, just to spend hours combing it. You wanted her to stay that way, a little baby forever, but at the same time you yearned for her to grow up. You would wait for the day when you could finally share secrets with her, gossip and try on clothes until you drop. You loved your two boys with all of your being, you'd die for either of them, but having a girl felt different. Maybe it was because you dreamed about it for a long time, you didn't know how to explain it, but you already felt the need to develop her from everything and everyone. She was so delicate and cute, you were afraid she would break like porcelain.

Kakashi noticed the expressions you made while admiring your daughter, you practically beamed with how happy you were, and he hasn't seen you like this in a long time.

"You want to meet your little brothers, hmm?" You asked your daughter who made typical baby noises, knowing she wasn't going to answer. Your husband took this as a cue to go get the boys who were under Hinata's watch in the hospital waiting room. She really helped you a lot, both in the past and now. You would make sure that you thank her properly and that you can repay all of her help one day.

"It's a girl." Kakashi told his friends who were in the waiting room a few minutes ago and everyone started to congratulate him. "Thanks for coming over here."

"When can we see her, Kakashi?" Guy asked his friend.

"Yes! Kakashi-sama, I want to see her too!" Ino begged excitedly to see the baby. She was passing by to see Sakura at the hospital when she heard you were here and couldn't resist waiting to see the baby when was born.

"I'll take the boys now, but soon you'll be able to see them, I promise."Kakashi told Ino and everyone else who was present. He put his hand behind his neck to ease the tension and tiredness and then he picked up the children who were half asleep from waiting so long. He thanked Hinata briefly, who told him that soon Naruto would come too, and headed to the bedroom with his sons. "When you enter, be quiet" he told both of them when they arrived at the door.

"Yes Daddy!" Kenji responded by rubbing his hand over his mouth as if he were zipping up.

"Let's go!" Katsuo pulled his father anxious to see his sister.

"Hey, calm down."

Upon opening the bedroom door, Kenji completely forgot to be silent and made a fuss, shouting excitedly to see you after so many hours. The baby started crying over the noise, and Kakashi scolded himself for being so sloppy with the youngest. But you didn't seem to care about the situation, in fact, the boy's enthusiasm rubbed off on you as you tried to get the baby calm again.

Kakashi took Kenji on his arms and carefully approached him by your side on the bed when he saw that he was trying to climb up, but he couldn't win due to his low height. Katsuo ran to stay on the other side and they both knew to admire their little sister.

"Why is her face so weird?" Kenji as usual had no filter.

"She was just born." you told him sympathetically and they expected to pepper you with questions about her, coming one after another like a train.

"Boys, slow down." he warned the boys "your mother is tired."

"Sorry, Mommy."

"All good." you looked at Katsuo who was sitting on the bed with you "Want to hold her?"Even though he was big, Kakashi didn't feel confident letting his son hold the baby.

"Y/n..." he was going to try to tell you that Katsuo was still too young to hold his sister.

"It's okay, Kakashi." you tried to reassure him "He won't put her down, kids younger than he babysit."

You pulled Katsuo closer to you, instructing him on what to do to hold the girl. You stayed alert and put an arm around the boy to prevent him from ending up knocking her over.

"I want to hold too."

"Not you, you little dwarf." Kakashi immediately intervened, leaving no chance for the 6 year old to consider holding the baby. You sighed at his attitude of not trusting boys.

"What is her name?" Katsuo asked you as soon as he held his sister.

"Do you want to name her?" you made an offer.

"Sayuri!" Kenji shouted, excited to be able to choose the baby's name

"What?! Where did you get that horrible name?" You see they were going to start arguing about which name to choose and immediately regretted it "It's going to be Misaki.

"You're just saying that because it's the name of the girl you like!" In fact, Kenji was quite the gossip. You didn't even know about this girl.

"The girl you like, is it?" Kakashi teased his son by ruffling his hair and making the boy blush.

"Kakashi!" You warned him to stop teasing a child. "How do you end up knowing so much stuff, you little brat?" You asked Kenji pulling his nose playfully, which made him laugh.

"What do you think of the name Rin?" Kakashi asked you suddenly, worried about your reaction.

"Rin? Like Daddy's friend?" Katsuo asked confused.

"If you don't mind, of course." He added to you expectantly

"Rin..." You repeated the name, testing how it sounded "Sounds good." you said smiling, knowing how much that meant to him. You know how much Kakashi feels guilty for her death, they were just kids at the time and they had to go through so much.

"I liked too." Kenji said taking you by surprise.

"Snow!" Katsuo said excitedly as he looked at the window behind

It messed you up, you lost your last baby on a winter night. And the season that already showed sadness, despite its built-in beauty, had become even sadder with the memory of your son. But now your little girl has come to give the season a new meaning, a good one.

You looked at the little girl again, taking her out of Katsuo's arms to let him run to the window with his brother to watch the first snowflakes fall. You let the baby girl play with your index finger, grabbing it with her chubby little hands.

Kakashi who came down beside you kissed his daughter's forehead and then your temple.

"I love you."

That was the first time in years he said he loved you verbally.

"You and they are the light of my life." He brushed a few strands of hair off your face, "I couldn't have asked for anything better."

"Thanks, Kakashi." If you were already crying rivers of joy at the birth of your daughter, he just made you cry an ocean. He didn't need you to say you loved him back, having heard you say it many times already.

Etiquetas: @ghostsfavhoe @bbkissme99

#kakashi x y/n #kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake #kakashi hatake x you #kakashi hatake x reader #hatake kakashi #naruto #naruto x reader #naruto shippuden #anime imagines #anime #imagine #oneshot #x reader #wife reader #one shot #kakashi x you #naruto uzumaki

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spiderrrling · 2 years

Text

The piece of advice Steve Harringon gave Eddie Munson about girls, and all the times he decided to ignore it

Summary - Exactly what the title says

Warnings - Absolutely none, just fluff and probably some spelling/continuity errors

A/N - Based on this post by @loveronlineee, Will this is for you, I apologize for the rambling, please be aware I'm very high on pain meds writing this

Masterlist - Taglist

Neither of them really knew exactly when it had happened, but Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington at one point became friends. It had happened sometime after their adventures in the upside down, all of that shared trauma worked really well for establishing a friendship.

Which now meant that now Eddie Munson could frequently be seen hanging around Family Video at any and all hours just to chat with Steve and Robbin, or Steve could be seen hanging out at the Munson trailer to share a beer.

Steve was clueless about a lot of things in life, but one of the few things that he really seemed to understand was girls, what they liked and how to properly ask one out.

He’d known you for a couple of months after you had started playing with the Hellfire Club, and ever since then you had completely occupied his mind every free and busy moment he had. And it was driving him absolutely crazy how much he was thinking about you, but whenever he talked to you he could never actually seem to tell you just how he was feeling.

Eddie would open his mouth, this big speech all planned out in his mind, where he would tell you how you feel but then there would be nothing.

“Eddie?” You asked when Eddie didn’t say anything

“Yeah?”

“You said you wanted to ask me something?”

“I was wondering if you could give me a copy of your character sheet? I kind of lost yours…”

“Again? Yeah, I’ll get one for you tomorrow-”

It was another night of Steve coming around after work for a beer and a chat, it wasn’t much but it was something they both enjoyed more than they cared to admit to the other person.

“Hey Steve… how do you like- get so many dates?” The words coming out of his mouth were almost unintelligible, and his eyes were dead focused on the lip of his beer can, refusing and unable to look over at Steve where he was sitting just next to him.

“Are you asking me girl advice Munson?” Steve on the other hand had no qualms about looking at Eddie, and Eddie could hear the deep grin that must have been plastered to Steve’s face. “Is there… someone? A girl?”

“I knew I should have asked Robbin,” Eddie mumbled beneath his breath and let his head fall back in frustration, a heavy sigh escaping from his parted lips. “Forget it I’ll figure it out-”

“So, there is a girl!” Steve scooted closer to Eddie so he could nudge him in the ribs with his elbow.

“It’s easy all right-” Steve said as he pretended to ignore the death glare Eddie was giving him, “all you have to do is pretend that you don’t care, it’ll drive her crazy.”

“That sounds like a horrible plan,”

“It works trust me,”

“I’m starting to think this was a mistake,”

But Steve made sure to list out his most carefully crafted piece of ‘fool proof’ Harrington dating advice

“Just pretend like she doesn’t exist dude, it’ll drive her crazy you’ll see-”

Now Eddie Munson was not one to really follow advice, even if he did technically ask for it, especially when it sounded like horrible advice. And after just a little bit of contemplation he decided to forgo just about everything Steve had told him.

The first time Eddie ignored Steve’s advice, he left a note in your locker for you to find. It hadn't even been a full twelve hours before he collectively defied everything Steve had said.

The note wasn’t much, simply just a scrap piece of paper with his almost unintelligible handwriting scribbled across it, due to the past couple of months in Hellfire you were able to decode the mess of graphite on paper.

I think that you look really pretty today

It wasn’t signed, but that didn’t matter. No one else had handwriting like Eddie’s, and you could have picked it out of a million if you were asked to.

That was the day Eddie officially asked you out, and much to his delight you actually said yes.

The second time Eddie ignored Steve’s advice, was when he got you flowers for your one-week anniversary. He didn’t buy them, mostly because he didn’t have the money to do so. But he did pick them, painstakingly by hand and wrapped them up in paper to give to you.

In fact, he went against Steve’s advice on every small anniversary or celebration, always insisting on making it a big deal where he could pull the dramatics up just a tad bit more.

“Where’d you get these Eds?” You would ask as you admired the bouquet of flowers you were holding in your hands.

“Ms. Harris’ garden, but they were so beautiful I couldn’t resist.” He’d reply, with the biggest grin you had ever seen plastered on his face as he asked you if you liked them.

The third time was when he knew you had a really bad day and decided to sneak into your room,

He had parked his van a couple of streets from your house and walked the last bit, collecting small pebbles and rocks as he made the trek to your house.

Standing below your window he tossed them up, careful not to break the window. Throwing one, two, then three rocks before you finally appeared in the frame of the window, the soft yellow glow of your room illuminating you from behind, and to him you looked like an angel.

“What are you doing- are you trying to break my window?!” you whisper screamed down at him.

“Wanted to see you s’all, mind if I come up?” But it wouldn’t have mattered what you answered because he was already climbing up to your window, careful not to be too loud knowing your parents were most likely home.

“You didn’t seem to be in the best mood today,” Eddie said when he had finally finished his climb into your room, his heavy boots kicked off by the window still. “I’m not,” you replied, with your hands crossed over your chest.

“We can’t have that now can we?” Eddie spent that entire night with you, keeping you company as you fell asleep against him and whispering sweet nothings to you while he carefully carded his fingers through your hair.

“You know, I think I might be the luckiest person in the universe, even when you’re in a bad mood you’re still the most beautiful person I have ever seen,” Eddie whispered just as you were falling asleep in his arms.

The fourth time he wrote you a song,

You were sitting next to him on his bed, in his messy bedroom in the tiny run down trailer, your legs touching slightly as he strummed away on his guitar and you were lost in your book.

“Hey-” Eddie grabbed the book from your hands, tossing it to the side with little care as you protested, “I have something for you to listen to.” And you quickly let your protests fall cold on your lips as Eddie started strumming away at his guitar.

His fingers working expertly across the strings, you always loved watching him play, his face scrunched up just enough with concentration as he worked. But what surprised you that day, was when he started singing.

With his soft and velvet like voice Eddie sang to you the words he had been racking his brain for what felt like forever to him, he wanted them to be perfect. And while afterwards he insisted it was nothing, it still made your heart soar.

The fifth time Eddie asked you to prom

Eddie never expected to go to prom, or to be allowed to due to his constantly slipping academic performance, which had barred him his first two senior years. But this year graduating was the only thing left on his mind because there was no way he was going to be staying another year in Hawkins while you left.

He didn’t have much experience in exactly how to ask someone to prom, or really why there was such a big deal made around them. But it was for you, and he was willing to do just about anything.

Spending the entire night painting on the biggest piece of poster board he could manage to find, four letters and a question mark, the letters were a little shaky, and not clean by anyone’s measure.

P R O M ?

Maybe in the grand scheme of things it wasn’t much. But it was something he had done for you, and he hoped that would be enough for you to say yes, and luckily it was.

Eddie climbed up on one of the cafeteria tables, sign in hand and lifted high above his head as you walked into the room, he didn’t say anything but as his eyes met yours and he saw your smile creep onto your cheeks he knew you would be saying yes.

“Sooo what do you say? Go to prom with me?” Eddie asked when you finally walked over to the table, and he had successfully climbed down.

“Like I could ever want to go with someone else,” you whispered to him and threw your hands around his neck as you pulled him in for a kiss. It turns out, Steve Harrington doesn’t give bad advice, as long as you don’t listen to it.

Mutuals - @uglypastels @catastrofhe @eddiemunsonbrxinrot @eddiemunsons-girl

Taglist - @pastel-abyss-x

@fayetheenthusiast

@obi-wanakenobi

@starbeambo

@chloebeansack

@a-villain-vying-for-attention

@meaganjm

@prettytoxix

@magicallovdrms

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@eddie-munsons-girlfriend

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caffeinewitchcraft · 1 year

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How did you find the courage to start posting online?

Finding courage is actually why I started this blog!

I’ve always loved writing. The first book I wrote was in high school (and very rarely sees the light of day) back in 2010. I gave short stories to my family for Christmas in 2011 and I did write a little bit of fanfic back then.

But I never tried to query my work and I never posted anything online. I felt like my work wasn’t good enough for a multitude of reasons - too short, too long, choppy dialogue, not interesting, wrong punctuation, etc

Then I went to college and I studied English/psychology/writing for a little bit. One of my writing professors really pushed me to consider publishing (at that point I was on track to get a psychology degree) and I realized that that’s what I wanted. I wanted to be a published writer

But I was too scared!

I was frozen for years. I would write all these stories for fun and never had anywhere to put them. After I left the cult (lol) I ended up not having many friends to read my work either. I had my sister and my best friend from high school (both of whom I owe a lot) and they lived in a different city for most of that time.

College was a really bad time for me all around. I don’t talk about it that much because I very dearly want to be someone who can heal from trauma. But my writing at that time was viciously angry. I felt like I couldn’t share it because it would show everyone how awful I was. So I didn’t post online then either!

I left school and became an EMT with this idea that I was going to be a writer but I still couldn’t bring myself to query. “I need to experience more of life to write,” I thought. “I’m not good enough yet. The things I write are all too depressing or too escapist. One day I’ll write something amazing and I’ll know it and go from there.”

It was during that time (around 2016) that I honestly got sick of myself. I had a lot of insecurities and life was very difficult. It’s hard to explain exactly where my head was at. See, up until the creation of this blog, I was putting writing as a low priority in my life. I was going to keep driving an ambulance. I was going to go back to school. I was going to only engage In The practical side of writing (copy writing) and do other Meaningful Work like driving ambulances or maybe going to law school

But I wanted to write. And I knew I was scared. And I knew that part of what was holding me back were all these expectations from my family and from myself that I needed to focus on finding a career rather than in what made me so happy

So I made this blog! “No one I know will see this,” I thought. “I don’t have to tell them. I can write whatever I’d like without having to worry about hurting anyones feelings or making anyone upset.”

Well, I did make people upset! Hahahah, for some reason 22 yo me wrote a prompt fill of God trying to set up Satan with a guy. A looooot of people (like 6 which seemed like a lot at the time!) sent me messages about how awful I was for writing that and how I needed to take it down

Instead of taking it down or stopping writing, I looked at why I wrote what I did. I’m Pagan. Wby did I feel driven to write a story about God?

The prompt used language I disagreed with (I believe it called satan “a homosexual” like those old anti gay propaganda films) and I wanted to write something that was more positive and nuanced. The story accepted the idea that, at one point, being gay was a sin (I was just coming out at that point as well.) But I also wrote a God that was flawed, who recognized their flaws, and admitted that they made a mistake by trying to control love like that. God apologized to Satan for making him feel he was wrong and that he couldn’t love who he wanted. That story meant something to me who, despite being from an amazingly supportive family, still worried about people being jerks when I went out in public with my girlfriend.

And after looking at all that, I stood by my story. That’s important to why I keep posting online. I stand by what I write. Even if nobody enjoys a story, I like it. And so it stays up.

(Though I will admit that some aspects I’ve had to improve myself on. I had one person point out that I only used Anglo-Saxon names for all my characters. Meaning I only wrote white characters. So, after a lot of googling and reading, I set out to diversify my work! I wrote Firebreather after that, starring Nadezh and I am so obsessed with her.)

I kept the God prompt up and started receiving positive comments on it! I started writing more prompt fills. I’d write after hard 12 hour shifts. I’d write while in the ambulance. I wrote a very popular story from my phone!

I’m very, very lucky! I’ve always received very positive feedback on my stories here. There are people who won’t ever know it but they supported me through very difficult times.

Why have I written all of this? I definitely haven’t shared everything about my writing journey, or my life journey, but these are the highlights. Why share such a long answer to a very straightforward question?

Because I want you to have the context for when I say that the courage to post online comes from a deep and unending love for writing. For your own writing. For the magic that writing helps you create, for the excitement of finishing a story, for the thrill of understanding yourself a little better.

For me, the creation of this blog was an act of self love. I’ve said that on here before. I took an amazing gamble and I won! By posting online, I forced myself to confront my writing head on. People were seeing it and commenting on it, good and bad, and it forced me to interact with my work in a way I hadn’t before.

I started being able to look at my writing from a distance. There were some warts, for sure. But I looked at it and loved it all the same.

I stopped being so ashamed and fearful. My whole family knows about my writing now (that’s actually how I came out as bi to a few of them lmao) and I’ve self-published my own work.

I will say, that I’ve been very lucky on Tumblr. My experience doesn’t seem to be very typical and my blog is a bit more popular than I ever intended! I’m very grateful and blown away by it still.

Courage comes from confidence. Fake it til you make it! I used anonymity as a shield until I gained enough confidence to own my work proudly.

Thanks for the ask and thanks for bearing with my long response. I’ll most likely talk about how posting online affected my mental state and career more at a later date :)

Tl;dr: Love your writing unconditionally. Accept its flaws and know that you have the ability to improve it.

#caffeine answers #long post

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lady-murderess · 5 months

Text

At the end of the day, there is a reason 10's face came back, and that is literally just to say goodbye to NuWho. The 15th Doctor is a complete reboot, RTD has said it himself. But coming from a character standpoint, there was reasoning for it. 14 still had all of 10's qualities. Now, he wasn't as cold as 10, he was more open and not afraid to be affectionate, but even then he still carried the same amount of shame on his shoulders and tortured himself with his trauma. To be honest, 14 seemed tired.

Bumbling about the internet, I have seen people bring up the Metacrisis Doctor when it comes to this finale, but the difference between this bi-generation and the metacrisis was the fact that the metacrisis was a two way thing. Donna became a Time Lord and the version of him that came from both Donna and 10's hand is completely human with quite a bit of her personality in him, and the bi-generation is literally just two of the exact same Time Lords. And that's it.

And to be honest, in some ways 10 wanted to have his cake and eat it. A part of him wanted to settle down and also be a Time Lord, because let's face it, he'd never be able to say goodbye to that life he's lived for all those many years, he even said that when Donna and 15 told him to let go and he was scared. And more proof of that was in series 2's School Reunion episode (which is one of my all time favourites) when Rose confronted him on why he never mentioned Sarah Jane, and then later on in the series finale of 4 where he and DoctorDonna leave the Metacrisis Doctor behind with Rose. He loved Rose, always had, but he knew it would break his heart to see her grow old and die, so really the Metacrisis Doctor got to have his happy end because he was human.

I think 15 was the part of the Doctor that still had the urge to keep going and wanted to be finally free from the pain of the past. Every Doctor has their own personalities and ways of coping with things, and I think 15 just wants to be carefree and happy and that's just what I get from the trailer for Christmas special where he is literally in a club dancing so freely... something we've never seen from the Doctor before.

I won't lie though, I don't understand the issue with it being Donna he gets to have that happy end with. He couldn't have it with Martha, she has Mickey and her family, Sarah Jane has been dead for a long time, he never got to truly know the Bannerman Road Gang, and Jack is out there doing things with Torchwood, so he couldn't have gone with any of them either, and the rest of the companions in NuWho are pretty much dead. So, why not Donna?

It's said by quite a few characters during the 10th Doctor era that he never stays, and he'll even admit multiple times he'll keep on running. And after losing Rose, we all saw how he just ran faster and grew darker. Martha gave him a phone so she could keep in contact with him, and what did he do? He denied the fact that he even had a phone when it rang and Donna asked questions about it. And let's face it, if the universe hadn't pulled him and Donna together for them to meet again, he would never have seen her again after the Racnoss. She offered him Christmas dinner with her and her family and he just didn't.

Overall, every companion of 10's all have their happy ends except for her. Yes, Donna has a family and she loves them dearly, but for those 15 years she felt that something was missing. So, she didn't really get a happy end because she had no closure and it plagued her and her family. But now here she is and 14 here is, happy because they both have closure. So, I don't know... It just seems rather fitting to me.

At the end of the day, this whole thing was just finally letting this face of the Doctor, this version of himself who's most damaged and tired, just be happy.

#i hate how this turned into an essay #i had thoughts and i wrote way more than i wanted to but this is truly how i see it #i was in tears watching it all unfold on the tv #they both deserve happiness and it was a nice end to an era #i cant wait to see what RTD brings to the table in the reboot #doctor who #doctor who spoilers #10th doctor #metacrisis doctor #14th doctor #15th doctor

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polarisbibliotheque · 2 years

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Dante gets drunk and confesses to his s/o that "everyone I love and who means something to me dies horribly" because he's a Son of Sparda. Next mission he comes back, emotionally drained and just depressed overall. Soon his s/o come over and after pampering with a warm bath, washing his hair, giving him love and the whole nine yards. He asks quietly, why? To which his s/o comments that whoever's gonna try to kill them, has gotta bring an army and tons of reinforcements. (1/2)

So, this one has been sitting on my asks for SO LONG, and now I finally got the time and inspiration to make it happen. This idea is so lovely to me, because I do believe some interesting things would happen with drunk Dante and Vergil - angsty ones and funny ones.

Therefore, this one will be the angsty. But do wait for the funny one, 'cause dear, now you inspired me to write drunk Dante and Vergil antics ;)

Thanks a lot for the ask and the ideas!! I hope you like how it turned out ^^

Dante & Vergil getting angsty drunk and their s/o comforting them

Pairings: Dante x Reader; Vergil x Reader

Summary: Drinking could bring either two things to the Spardas: fun or sudden visions that could open the Pandora's box inside their hearts. When that happened, you were the only one able to soothe the fear of losing their loved ones... Again.

WARNING: There's drinking as an unhealthy coping mechanism, the mention of the reader knowing someone who would turn to drinking and become completely different (not detailed) and in both stories, they have visions of their s/o, the reader, lifeless. It's stated exactly like that, but if this is something that bothers you or if you're sensitive to imagining that, I advise not reading this one. Next one will be more chill and upbeat!

Author's notes: I gotta say, I loved writing both of them. I picture their s/o a will powerhouse just like them, so there's a lot of that. Also, I listened to two songs in repeat while writing, I recommend listening to them! Never Fade Away (shdsky remix), by shdsky; and Burn, by The Cure.

They encapsule the heartwrenching feeling they have and I blame the angst and intensity from Vergil's on The Cure

Dante

Saying the Sparda family had no healthy way of expressing their feelings was a huge understatement.

Dante would constantly complain about Vergil – after all, most of their problems came from Vergil being extremely powerful and broken by the trauma of their past. If only he had gone to therapy, a lot would have been avoided – at least, that what Dante would say.

But it seemed like your red devil failed to see he himself needed therapy. You knew he was on a long path of healing – and a lot more healed than Vergil, who had just admitted he needed help and couldn’t be self-sufficient forever – but that didn’t mean Dante had already found a healthy way to cope with his inner demons.

Figuratively and literally.

When things got too bad, Dante drank to forget. But he also enjoyed drinking with you to have fun – he was all about keeping his mind occupied so he wouldn’t let the quietness settle in and let the demons come out from the dark, creeping towards him with their silent fingers and taking a hold of his heart.

That night, it had started for fun. He didn’t keep too much alcohol in the shop, but he always had an emergency bottle of whisky laying in his desk’s drawers.

“Well, well, have I ever told you how beautiful you are…?” His cheeks were flushed, and flirty Dante mode was on. He sat by your side on the couch, keeping one of his arms around your shoulders and his nose a little bit too close to your face.

You couldn’t stop yourself from giggling at that goof.

“A thousand times, Casanova.” You answered, trying to get a little distance in to look into his beautiful sky-blue eyes. Dante observed you with adoration and a sincere smile on his lips, as if every word you said sounded like the most crystalline and new music note he had ever heard. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are here?” As you asked, you touched his chest, above his heart. Dante’s adoration just seemed to grow, as if you had never touched him in your whole lives. “I love the entirety of you, but your soul… Your soul is brilliant, red devil.”

“Sheesh, babe, if ya keep talkin’ like that, I’ll get all flustered!” Despite his words, Dante leaned on your head, touching your forehead with his. He always got giggly and didn’t quite understand personal space when drunk.

Not that you cared – Vergil, in the other hand, always threatened to stab his inconvenient brother. Used to being around him, it wasn’t a nuisance to you.

“I don’t think you can ever get flustered, big guy!” You laughed back, rubbing your nose on his – that made Dante’s heart only beat faster. “But I mean it. Your soul is the kindest I’ve ever met. I love you endlessly, Dante.”

Your words met his ears in a whisper, still smiling as he kept his forehead leaned on yours. Dante’s heart, though, trembled with a thousand different feelings that, if he was sober, he’d know how to control.

As you left for a quick break to the bathroom, he poured himself another shot of whisky – seeing how the bottle was getting to an end. Dante lost count of how many days he drank bottles and bottles of whisky on his own, trying to forget his past, to let go of all the things that happened to him.

He didn’t see that kindness, that brilliant soul you saw in him.

You talked of him as if he was an angel, but Dante knew he was far from that – a literal half demon, bursting in anger with spiked wings and red fiery horns when he couldn’t restrain that animal inside him any longer. He had learnt to control it – and Dante controlled his demon with all his might, hating that part of himself.

Nevertheless, you saw something else. You saw the human in him, but you also loved the demon. And he couldn’t understand how – he knew it was the same way his mother fell for his father, but… Still. Dante couldn’t see all the beauty you saw.

His whole existence was cursed – a foul curse that ran in his veins, that came from his blood. The blood of Sparda. That was the reason for so much death, so much suffering. His father was a savior to humankind, the one who protected the world from demons and Mundus, but he had paid with cursing his name for eternity – bringing only pain and death to those who associated with it.

Eva died. Nell died. People who had relationships with him in whatever way died. He lost count of how many times he saw Vergil die – or even killed him with his own hands. Dante lost everything, over and over and over again. It was as if that night his house caught on fire and all he knew crumbled in flames and blood repeated itself every time Dante found his heart allowing himself to feel safe and welcomed – to feel a spark of hope that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t be cursed until he died.

But then, it would all drown in blood and dust.

As his lips got wet with the bitter taste of whisky, Dante saw something right in front of his eyes – too real, too dangerous.

The Devil May Cry in flames. Him sitting on the floor, blood all over his hands. Corpses of the demons you had slain together lying at his feet. You, laying between his legs, your head cradled on his chest, lifeless.

Once again, tears falling from his eyes as all he had built up until that moment burnt down until there was nothing left.

“Hey, Dante…? Dear, are you crying…?” Your voice snapped him out of it, making Dante shoot his glossy eyes back at you – barely noticing a tear running down his face.

It was the first time you saw him so terrified.

“What happened?” You immediately ran to him, sitting by his side on the couch and taking Dante’s calloused hands in yours. Whenever your mind got hazy with alcohol, you prioritized whatever your heart told you should be put first – and that usually was Dante. Just like him, the alcohol made it easier for your feelings to overflow.

“Hmmm nothin’, I… I just… Damn.” Dante sighed, shaking his head slightly and looking down. He was trying to get those images out of his mind – but the feeling of having you in his arms while both of you were engulfed in flames was too real for him to let go that easy. His hazy thoughts wouldn’t let it go – and his heart… Oh, his heart would scream in pain every time he saw a glimpse of losing you like that. Just like he lost everyone else. “I’m not… Shit…”

“Memories again?” You took one of your hands to lightly brush his face, finding his teary eyes under his white hair. You brushed his fringe away from the sky-blue sea that stared back at you, overflowing even more as your silky touch found the rough texture of his cheek – caressing him so carefully, as if Dante was but a precious, fragile crystal.

If you kept like that, you’d break his heart. Dante wasn’t sure whatever lied in his chest was strong enough to take all that gentleness – it could take violence, but it wasn’t used to such a loving touch.

“Yeah… Old and new, babe…” He allowed himself to rest his head on your hand, as you cradled him with nothing but care. He didn’t want to lose you. He couldn’t think about losing you. All those years, Dante had nothing and now… You were everything. This time, if he lost anyone he loved again, he wouldn’t survive. Dante was sure – it would be impossible for his heart to recover from you.

“New…? From what…?” Your brows furrowed as you kept on caressing his face. It wasn’t the first time you saw Dante like that: anxiety attacks and flashbacks were very common on your relationship and, by now, you knew how to deal with them whenever Dante fell into the abyss. You were the only hand holding him tightly and making sure to pull him back up – the only one to stay there and go through hell alongside him. “Was it that hunt we had the other day…?”

“No, no… I…” Dante sighed again, unable to explain. It was so easy for him to let other feelings out his chest: happiness, anger, complacency… But those? He had no words for it. No matter how much he tried, Dante couldn’t bring himself to let out that horrible scene for you… No matter how much alcohol. “I got… Kinda of a flashback… Of somethin’ that didn’t happen.”

“Hmmm… Was it of something that has happened, but with different people?” You tried, noticing how his sky-blue eyes, adorned with the redness of the tears, shot up at you.

It wasn’t the first time you noticed Dante worried about something happening to you. He had vivid nightmares sometimes and once, before waking him up, Dante was tossing and turning, screaming your name and holding his pillow as tightly as he could. He whispered something along the lines of don’t leave me, and you had an idea of what was going on. As you woke him up, Dante held you close in real life, as if that was going to keep you safe and sound.

“I… Damn, y/n…” Once again, he looked down, sighing heavily and shaking his head. Tears fell on your hands, but you didn’t let go of his. Dante had to understand you would be there, through hell and high water. “Everyone I love, everyone who means something to me, die horribly. It has been like that ever since I was a kid, remember?”

He pointed at the portrait of Eva he kept on his desk. It was a rhetorical question, you knew, but you wanted to say you would never forget. It was part of who Dante was, and, inevitably, it was part of your life too. The day you decided to stay with him, was the day your paths intertwined – and now, they couldn’t be separated, by any power of Heaven or Hell.

You wished he understood that.

“I’m not this knight in shiny armor you say I am, babe.” Dante’s eyes were tortured, and he had a melancholic smile that didn’t fit on his lips. “I’m no angel. I’m a demon who will burn everything on my path, spittin’ anger and blood. I’m no good for anyone… And hell, I don’t wanna lose you. Not you.”

“You won’t, Dante. I’m here. No matter what you saw, I’m here.” You took him into your arms as his tears found no resistance anymore. Crying on your shoulders, Dante held you strongly against him – as if that could keep any harm away from both of you. “And you gotta understand, you’re so much better than you give yourself credit for, dear. There’s no one else I could love in this world the way I love you.”

That would be a long night.

With his hair soaked in blood, the red veins flowed down Dante’s face like tears.

It hadn’t been a simple job, but it wasn’t a difficult one either. Dante had worse – but he also had better. He had been better. It seemed like the world had settled on his shoulders and it made his whole body heavier.

Good thing he didn’t have to carry Rebellion on his back anymore – or the walk back to the shop would have been a lot worse than it was.

His feet were practically dragging on the floor – not so much from his body being tired; the problem was his soul. Whenever those demons clutched his heart and mind, there wasn’t much Dante could do apart from going through it. Just like he did in Hell.

He couldn’t get that vision out of his head. The way you had felt in his arms as he cried with the fire engulfing both of you. Dante would have let himself be consumed by the flames – he wouldn’t fight anymore. Without you, he wouldn’t have the strength. Not this time.

Dante had always pushed through in his life – but now… Nero was around. He could protect humans in a much better way than he did. Lady and Trish could live quite well without him – Dante would argue even better than with him around. And Vergil… He had a lot to sort in his own heart. Dante believed without him, Vergil would turn to his demonic nature for good and never be seen again but…

He was tired.

Dante was tired of fighting. He had fought his whole life, tragedy after tragedy. It never seemed to get better, and he had to admit… He could only take so much. After so many years of holding his loved ones dead in his arms, Dante was getting to his limit.

If something happened to you, it would be the last straw. The last of his heart strings, breaking apart alongside with the string of your life.

Opening the door to the Devil May Cry, Dante managed to smile when he saw you sitting on his big chair, feet on the desk, magazine in your hands – just like him. He never thought his heart would grow so warm with something so trivial, but, like Eric Draven himself would say, nothing is trivial.

Losing y/n is just a matter of time.

That dreadful voice in the back of his head made sure to tell him that as you raised your eyes to Dante and smiled with a “hello babe”. Dante always lost everyone he loved. It was just a matter of time.

“Damn, you look like hell.”

“Yeah, those demons weren’t playin’ ‘round today.” Dante sighed back, lowering his head while kicking his boots off, in order to leave them by the door. They were covered in blood and dirt and that was rather annoying to clean – so you both created this rule of leaving shoes by the door.

“You need a shower.” As you left the magazine on the desk, you followed Dante with your smart eyes. He didn’t answer with his usual carefree voice – it was more of a strained tone. The tone of someone spiritually tired.

“Yeah, I know, babe…”

That was certainly out of character.

Without a word, you got up from your place and took Dante’s hand in yours. He stared at you, cluelessly for a while, before walking up the stairs alongside your steps.

He needed your help – and you’d be there for him.

“Babe… Don’t you think you spoiled me enough for today…?”

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Dante remained shirtless, his wet hair occasionally dripping on his pants while you kneeled behind him and massaged the tense muscles of his back. His neck felt like a piece of wood, and you noticed how he groaned every time you ran your hands under his shoulder blades.

It felt like Dante didn’t know what relaxing meant for years.

“Hmmm. It’s never enough when it comes to you, Dante.” You had a calm smile on your lips, maintaining a soft tone to get him to relax. As your hands found another sore spot close to his neck, Dante groaned once more, lowering his head.

He couldn’t understand you. Dante would always believe wholeheartedly you could choose whatever wonderful life you wanted to have, but instead, you decided to doom yourself with him. Stuck in the Devil May Cry, until, inevitably, fire and destruction came to take you away.

You knew that. You knew how dangerous it was, how cursed he was. And, instead of running like any other sane human being, you decided to stay.

Not only stay, but shower his human and his devil with love. Dante would always be amazed by that.

“Why…?” Dante’s voice was quiet, almost a whisper. He wanted to hear from you, but he was also a little scared to know the answer. What if you stayed for reasons other than him?

You stared at his wet white hair for a while, still running your warm hands on his muscly back. Dante seemed to be the most confident man in the whole world, but he wasn’t afraid to show you how insecure he actually was. How scared. Dante had many demons in his head, and it took a while for you to build enough trust until he started to be so open about his darkest feelings.

And you knew what was going on inside his head. How he didn’t let go of the vision he had that day while you were drinking.

“Because my soul chose yours, Dante. It’s that simple.” You shrugged, still massaging his sore, marble back. “I’m not afraid of whatever curse you think is attached to your blood. I’m not afraid of dying from being with you. Whatever comes to threaten me better bring an army and tons of reinforcements, ‘cause I’m not going down that easy. You taught me to always keep fighting, and that’s what I’m gonna do.” With those words, you leaned closer to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and resting your head close to his, feeling how your body seemed so small glued to his towering shape. Dante immediately held your hands close to his heart, tilting his head in your direction. “Those demons better know I’m human. I won’t stand down and I’m going to do everything in my power to live a great life by your side, babe. I am not going to die horribly in the hands of whatever creature who wants to hurt you, and if they attack me, I’m going to bring them all down. I chose to be with you and there’s no power in any world that can take me away from you now. That’s a promise, Dante.”

You couldn’t see how much his lips were smiling or how his eyes were tearing, but you could feel it by the way Dante held your hands as if they were the last lifeline connecting him to the human world. You nuzzled his neck, doing your best to cuddle his body against yours.

“I love you, y/n.” His voice was like a secret, even though the whole world knew that from his heart. “You know that, right?”

“Of course I do.” You hugged him tighter, making him chuckle, even if just a little. “I love you too, Dante. That’s a promise too.”

As he intertwined his fingers with yours, Dante smiled. You weren’t one to break your promises.

Vergil

“Thanks for the ride, Lady. I owe you one.”

Stepping out of the bike, you gave Lady her spare helmet back as she winked in return.

“No worries, y/n! I might just transfer your debt to Dante!” Lady shrugged in a playful manner, making you laugh as you opened the door.

“It’s not like he has enough debts already, huh?” You shot back, provoking a mischievous giggle on her in return.

“It’s not like I don’t have fun with it!” Her answer was in a sing-song tune, as she pointed back at you before finally leaving. “Take care of that, though. You got hurt pretty badly this time, I’m gonna be worried.”

“You don’t need to be. I already got the world’s most protective and worried man right here with me.” It was your turn to wink back at her. “Vergil isn’t going to leave me alone while I’m not 100% recovered.”

“Well, he had to have at least one quality.” She muttered back, adjusting her helmet. “Don’t forget to call me!”

“I won’t! Thanks again, Lady!” You waved as the red motorcycle made its way through the darkness of the night.

While closing the door, you couldn’t help but to smile. Lady was a good friend, and you would always be grateful for the way she cared about the very few people she loved. She wasn’t the mellow type, but, in her own walking arsenal sort of way, you would still consider her sweet.

Your thoughts came to a halt, though, when you found Vergil sitting by his desk with an empty bottle of whisky on it. He was slouching over the table – something he usually didn’t do – with one of his hands entangled on his hair, while the other held an almost empty glass. His eyes were closed, but the way his eyebrows furrowed told you how much his thoughts were troubling him.

“Vergil, love. Is everything alright?”

You question was immediate albeit careful. You knew whenever Vergil’s thoughts weren’t too controlled, he was prone to flashbacks and instinctive self-protection. Startling him could be a death sentence – although, you were more scared of his memories of Hell than being accidentally hurt by his hands.

Vergil slowly opened his silver eyes, resting them on your form for a couple of seconds. You waited until he let out a long sigh, closing his eyes once more.

“I can’t sleep.”

Oh.

It was one of those days.

“For how long?” You left your boots by the door, calmly approaching him. You weren’t careful in your steps – you didn’t need too – but you didn’t want to make sudden movements. He needed peace, not chaos thriving around him.

His whole life had already been chaotic. Vergil needed to learn how to live in a healthy environment.

“Three days.”

You got seriously injured during your job with Lady exactly three days ago. You and Vergil were already used to each other being badly hurt during a hunt, but that didn’t stop you both from worrying about the other.

Sometimes, though, a situation like that could trigger some things Vergil usually buried deep inside his chest and didn’t allow them to come out.

“You need to rest, my love.” You laid your hands on his shoulders, feeling them tense under your fingers for a few seconds before relaxing under your touch. You placed a kiss atop his white hair. “Is that why you’re drinking?”

Vergil didn’t answer, just groaned as a confirmation. You took the glass from his fingers, taking a sip of the bitter liquor, feeling the alcohol burn down your throat.

“What’s the matter, Verge? Why can’t you sleep?”

Vergil just dismissed your question with silence.

He wasn’t used to sharing his worries – he had always seen that as a weakness. Vergil had learnt to be self-sufficient, going by his life on his own and burying whatever insecurities and fears he had inside his chest – smothering them in the hopes of asphyxiating those feelings and never hearing of them again.

But that was just a temporary solution, one he did to survive. He had been a survivor his whole life, watching everything around him burn and die. Vergil cut ties and bridges to people in order to shield his heart from bleeding over and over again, from hurting him so much. He could take only so much and, if he kept being hurt and having his feelings dilacerated in front of him again and again, there would be a day he wouldn’t survive.

This time, your injury provoked a nightmare. While on your job, you got hurt by an Angelo, a creature so similar to what he once was when Mundus made him just a pawn on an endless chessboard.

In his dreams, Vergil saw himself as Nelo Angelo once again. His eyes glowing in red, hands holding a flaming blue sword, towering frame inside his hellish armor. You called him, you screamed his name – he heard you, but his body wouldn’t answer to his commands. The house around you was burning down in flames, demons terrorizing whoever tried to approach you.

With each heavy step of his iron boots, you begged and pleaded for him to listen. You said all the beautiful things your heart had for him, proffered your favorite poems for his ears, but Vergil’s mind was being held hostage in a body that wouldn’t answer.

It was only when your lifeless body was laying on his arms that Vergil snapped out of it.

By his sword. By his hands. He was covered in blood, your blood. Vergil tried to bring you back, but you were long gone. He kneeled on the floor, cradling your body and crying his heart out, screaming desperately for that pain in his chest to let him breathe – just like the day his mother perished in his flaming childhood home, years prior. But this time…

It was his fault.

You were doomed to die, whether by his unconscious hands or hands of demons, since the day your lips touched his. The day you and him decided to allow your hearts to intertwine your paths, was the day you received a death sentence.

No one who came in touch with the blood of Sparda survived. Vergil was aware of that.

With that image haunting his mind every time he closed his eyes, Vergil decided not to sleep. It wasn’t much of a choice, but a defeat: he couldn’t bring himself to dream of something else. He couldn’t convince himself you were safe, and nothing would happen to you – he couldn’t stop desperately cradling your body close to his heart as his eyes closed.

He couldn’t sleep.

“You do know drinking won’t make the nightmares go away. They will be back eventually.”

Vergil groaned again, sliding the glass away from him on the desk. It was a rare sight, but he looked defeated. You’d say you were the only one in all the worlds allowed to see him like that.

“I had someone who would compensate with drinking. Whenever he did, he’d turn worse than all devils I met.” You decided to leave the comment around, pulling a chair to sit close to Vergil. He watched you with attentive eyes, clearly processing in his head what you had just said.

“I hardly believe a human can be worse than me.” His answer was preceded by a defeated sigh while you watched him intently. Vergil referred to his demonic blood – or he wouldn’t have deliberately said the word ‘human’.

“I beg to differ.” Your reply was almost a whisper, leaning on the table just like him, but taking your time to adjust Vergil’s messy hair back to the state he always liked when he was sober. “You are not a mindless aggressive creature when in demon form, even if you’d like me to believe otherwise.”

“But I have been a mindless hellish creature once.”

There. You finally got to the main issue in Vergil’s thoughts – you could see it in the way he took his eyes away from yours, fixating back on the table. He never really told you the things he went through as Nelo Angelo, and you never forced him to tell you. Vergil would say what he was comfortable saying – and he would keep to himself the things he was not yet ready to tell.

But of all the things that crossed his complicated mind, you knew your safety caused the most worry to Vergil – your safety from him.

It wasn’t a secret he believed you both were a love story fated to destruction – just like it happened to his parents.

“Once.” You threaded your fingers carefully through his hair, as not to startle him. You always had to ease him into physical contact – and Vergil would always be starved for it, whenever he finally welcomed your touch. “And even so, you are so strong, you broke out of its dominion over you on your own. Dragging your crumbling body to the only thing that could be your salvation.”

“Dante killed Nelo Angelo. I did not do it on my own.” Vergil’s mutter was bitter as the alcohol on the table, his eyes closed as he enjoyed the way you fondled his hair.

“It was Vergil who broke out of Hell and saved himself, even if in the most extreme way he found to do so.” Your hands were gentle, but your voice was now a bit harsher – mirroring the strength of the Dark Slayer. “He was the one to know what he was doing was probably a road with no way home, but it was the only way to keep himself alive. He kept walking even if his body was tearing itself apart, he grasped the very last sliver of hope he had. Not looking for forgiveness, not looking for absolution, but looking for survival. Not Nelo Angelo, nor Dante or Nero, not even Sparda. Vergil.”

His silvery eyes stared back at you in confusion and glistening with sudden tears as you told him what you thought about all the things he did. You didn’t apologize his many mistakes, but you couldn’t bring yourself to judge – what would you have done if you were in his shoes? Could you make better decisions, could you do the right thing after so many years of suffering, trauma, and torture, after being stuck in survival mode for the most part of your life? The average person would have never done the things he did, but Vergil was never average.

“You did many wrong things in your life, Vergil. But you survived. Your willpower isn’t to be toyed with and the amount of admiration I have for you is endless, love. You have to know that.” With that, you used your thumb to wipe a tear that decided to run over his sharp cheek. Vergil remained still, not really knowing what to do with all that – he was used to be called names, to be berated, humiliated, and even hated. He didn’t know how to react with being admired like you did. He didn’t know what to do. “I don’t think someone with that kind of willpower would accept another they see as weaker – and love, my will is as strong as yours. I have fought, and I have survived as well. All the legions of Hell would have to march against me to take me away from your arms. And I won’t say this is a promise, because those can be broken or changed like the phases of the moon – it is a fact.”

“Love…” Vergil whispered, finally taking your hand in his and running your palm through his face, following the pattern of your fingers with the tip of his nose, until finally placing longing kisses on your fingertips. His silvery eyes opened once again, focusing on you; his lips barely away from your skin. “These violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die like fire and powder. The sweetest honey is loathsome in his own deliciousness.”*

Not knowing how to express his thoughts and feelings – all those he had been trying to kill, asphyxiated in his chest for so long – Vergil recurred to the best way he knew how: poetry. As always, he knew you would understand what he meant… And there was only one way to answer.

“The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss a dateless bargain to engrossing death.* I do not fear anyone who might come near me. They should fear me, love, for I will fight as bravely as you have – and there is no power enough to take me from you.” With those words, you pulled Vergil closer to you, looking deeply into his eyes – he would always be mesmerized how you wouldn’t be intimidated by them. Instead, you always welcomed Vergil’s sharp gaze, holding it with your own. “Thus, with a kiss, I die.”

You didn’t give him time to think – suddenly, your lips were on his, sealing your fate over and over again, every time you repeated that kind of affection with Vergil. Cradling your face gently with his hands, he soon retributed the kiss, trying to make you understand how much he admired your human strength and will – something he couldn’t put in words, but could try to express with actions, at least.

Vergil lived his whole life being feared in order to protect himself – whether by his name or reputation. Having you stand by his side not fearing neither, made him believe that maybe – just maybe – your love story wouldn’t go down in blood and flames like he was used to.

Maybe Vergil could finally know some peace… After all, you were strong enough for love.**

*Romeo and Juliet, by Shakespeare

**Ordinary Love, by U2

#devil may cry #devil may cry imagine #dmc #dmc imagine #dante x reader #vergil x reader #dante imagine #vergil imagine #dmc dante #dmc vergil #devil may cry fanfiction #dante sparda #vergil sparda #dante x you #vergil x you #and here we go with more Romeo and Juliet for Verge again #please give 'em hugs #they need it

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