#there is NO maliciousness in the show 'keeping' Cas away from the brothers

[elizabethrobertajones]

But its not the show being the show there is no problem with Jack moving in and going on hunts, its Cas specifically that the show doesnt want with the bros. And im sorry but the show is about Sam and Dean so I Cas to primarly (not only) with them. I want TFW to be a family but they wont if they never build a life together, and deancas will certainly never date this way either, they essentially only work together but go seperate ways privately. Maybe I really should stop watching I wont ever

I’m sorry, I know it sucks for some people, but this is literally the format the show has, and I know we can HOPE for more but I’ve always worked on the basis of give the show a cookie when it does something I like, but don’t expect it to magically just turn into a comfy sit com no matter how funny it has been to joke about it doing exactly that. (And I really hope the jokes haven’t hurt people with expectations, because no matter how much I blabber on about how hilarious it would be or aggressively reblog bunker fluff, to me the idea of the Bunker Family is definitely more of an endgame dream because I know the show needs its drama and tension from somewhere.)

And I do think if you take the show as ALREADY thinking it is doing the best it can and then realising it was wrong and it can try harder in season 11 and 12 you CAN see improvement, because I was bitter and miserable after season 10, thinking the show was getting so bad at including Cas and so on, but in season 11 they genuinely seemed to care about him in the narrative and season 12 was a season Cas’s story took a huge fair share of the stage on. I genuinely believe they’re doing at least a little better and trying to give Cas more relevance and time to the story, but they’re working within their own bounds and not rushing ahead into any sort of happy soft set up.

The show isn’t soft, and if Cas was happily nestled at the Bunker they would have to do something HORRIBLE to him. Jack is a disposable character to the story at this point and has a completely different relevance to the plot where he is not just magically family and he’s not just magically going to get all comfy with them, and there’s threat and a mcguffin for having him around. He’s not stealing Cas’s spot and he’s not muscling in getting to the good stuff about the domestic happy life. 

Cas is a friend and him staying at the Bunker resolves all their emotional problems.

Jack is an uncertain potential ally/timebomb they’re entrusted with/etc plot stuff about protecting him from people who’d misuse him, and having him at the Bunker is uneasy, and probably creates more problems for them as long as they have him around. Even in the peaceful/best version of the story where they shape him into a good man and can trust him, the first part of the season he’s difficult and problematical for them to have around. Probably, really, most or ALL of the season where they don’t know if this is good bad or the end of the world, and it all depends on Jack’s malleable character which has been placed in their hands.

They don’t compare at all and the show isn’t doing anything with Jack which will usurp Cas’s place. If he seems to be rushing ahead then that’s probably a feeling they WANT you to feel, to be uneasy and worried about his position in this new version of the family. 

If it’s stressful for you to watch while it unfolds, perhaps it would be better if you paid less attention to spoilers or only watched the episodes in chunks of like 5 or something so you’d be less stressed about the weight and the issues which seem MUCH worse waiting for episodes like “where is Cas” - when you speed watch any of the seasons, even season 10, which mis-used Cas the most, you still get to see him regularly and you get a sense of his ongoing story, thin as it was at that point. Season 11 even shows us Cas on average every 3 episodes while he is possessed by Lucifer and watching those all quickly in a row you get a much better sense of where he is as a person and how he’s doing, but watching it unfold real time that’s 4 months with like 10 minutes total Cas. ( @tatltaelfairies would have the screentime numbers for you :P)

I don’t know, this does seem to me like a self-made problem (not really you specifically but fandom in general who are upset about these things), that it’s hard to take the show for what it is but you’re fixating on the desired endgame and the need to see the characters doing situations far far far out of the reach or current intention of the show. If you scale right back you can see Cas being treated very well by the writers and Cas and Dean being soft and building an incredible relationship in front of our eyes, and the evolution just in the last couple of years of that has been very positive and heartwarming to me. But then I try to go into every episode and every season expecting same shit, different day, assume Buckleming is writing every episode, and just get surprised by everything they do that’s better than that. And the rest of the writers are all far better than that baseline and even with wonky main plots I can SEE the effort they put in to do good by Cas and flatter the Destiel relationship. 

But then I have always taken the show as is, casual-viewered it for years until season 9 so I had a good background in that, and I just don’t *need* them to make it all fluffy and soft and stop the bad things happening to be able to enjoy it. And I’m worried that for the people who DO, like you, it would be so much healthier and less-stressful for you to back off from canon, enjoy fluffy fanon, and engage cautiously with canon when you were in a good place or had heard enough good things to power on through. People who put off watching and then hear about, like the mixtape event, and then watch 18 episodes to get there, will have a less stressful time than someone who slogged through 18 episodes taking every cas-less episode as a sign of doom and every time Dean and Cas didn’t just step out on a date as a sign that the show was never doing anything with their relationship, and the gesture when you finally get there is small and not enough to satisfy the hole. 

I mean, I’m sorry, I don’t know how to advise you, just that my need for the fluff is so much smaller than yours that we are viewing the show in utterly different ways.

How about you watch Black Sails? I’m currently obsessed and it’s got excellent canon queer characters and also hilarious pirate shenanigans. Which also involve cannons sometimes.

Yes I did come back just to edit in that bad joke. :P

#Asks #there is NO maliciousness in the show 'keeping' Cas away from the brothers #it's for tension and drama #it's part of the unfolding story #I won't say just wait if waiting hurts you #but I am happy to wait #and this is why it doesn't hurt me #wank for ts

[i-make-fun-of-spn-characters]

I feel like you've given most spn related things some lil spice but I always love the spice on this : hot spicy take on the "Dean is the most horrible character and ruins everyone's life and Sam and Cas are poor little meow meows who only do bad things sometimes because tyran Dean farted in their direction" takes that are not really only said by anti-Dean peeps ? Obsessed with that incredible thesis and would love the added spice ❤

SPICY HOT HOT GHOST PEPPERS CAROLINA REAPERS HELP I'M BURNING

I really try to respect other people’s opinions, and I believe there are a wealth of ways to interpret a story, and I think that’s a deeply beautiful thing. This applies to interpretations I don't agree with and outright dislike as well. That said, some opinions are simply and objectively bad, dishonest, and/or demonstrably false, and I truly do not believe you can sit down and honestly watch through the show with an open mind about all the characters, truly pay attention to what they do, say, and believe, and come to the conclusion that this show is about an evil manipulative abusive man terrorizing his pure and sinless brother and friend. It is an interpretation built from cherry picking facts to suit an ugly, miserable theory, making Mount Everest out of a bunch of the tiny mole hills, making the worst possible presumptions of feelings and intentions, and holding characters to completely different standards in order to neatly divide them into "abused" and "abuser" in a way that, frankly, fetishizes the abused person. I despise this interpretation of the story with every fiber of my being, and I have absolutely no respect for the opinion of anyone who peddles it, regardless of who they cast as villain/victim (because people have also done this with the others—it’s just more “popular” to do it with Dean... I mean... does anyone else remember how people were shitting on Sam after his emotional reaction in 14.12? Calling him an evil abuser? Because I do).

The thing that always gets me about this take isn't just how dishonest, unfair, mean-spirited, and compassionless it is in its treatment of Dean’s feelings, circumstances, and intentions... but how deeply reductive and offensive it is toward Sam and Castiel, sucking away their identities to turn them into effigies to mourn for their sad, Stockholm syndrome-esque attachment to their "abuser". Further, it grips the heart of the show—the relationship between Sam and Dean, and then the relationship among TFW as a whole—in a tight, uncompromising fist and pulverizes it. It literally rips out the heart of the show (the RELATIONSHIPS) and replaces it with something unprepossessing of any merit: A miserable, 15 years long story about a malicious abuser getting away with terrorizing those closest to him for his entire life, while his poor abuse victims suffer through until they die for him/happy to be reunited with him because they “don’t know any better” and never ever learned better, I guess. What a stupid, sad sack of a story.

Castiel is a thousands of years old celestial being who has literally beaten Dean into the pavement under no form of mind control, and has shown over and over again that he will do whatever the hell he wants, regardless of whatever Dean thinks about being sidelined. If he thinks whatever he is doing is in Dean's best interest, he literally does not care how Dean feels about it. He will nod and smile and then fly off and swallow thousands of souls with Dean begging him not to, shove Dean out of the way to attack the big bad, leave Dean alone in Purgatory, refuse to come out of Purgatory so he can self-flagellate, fly off with the angel tablet, help Sam with the Book of the Damned, let Lucifer possess him without anyone's knowledge or agreement, come into Dean's room under the guise of apologizing for ghosting him so that he can steal The Colt out from under his pillow and murder someone, decide not to murder that person and still prevent Sam and Dean from helping by knocking them both unconscious, get himself killed, make a deal to trade his life for Jack's and never tell anyone, hide information and worries and ignore phone calls, ghost Sam and Dean, and bicker and fight with Dean as if they are a married couple. Love sickness and feelings of worthlessness (which Cas has a wealth of reasons to feel—many of which aren’t even related to Dean but to his heavenly family) are reinterpreted as the result of some sort of constant, terrorizing emotional abuse. Power and authority that Dean does not actually have is forced into his hands by these fans. Maybe listen when Cas says, “Hey—not everything is your fault.” Maybe listen when he says “I loved the whole world because of you”, calls Dean a role model, says he enjoys their conversations, offers to die with him and dies for him multiple times. Maybe treat these feelings as genuine and valid and HIS and not as the delusions of some poor manipulated baby. 

Sam is framed this way even more often than Cas, and it's a damn shame, because what I typically see is this: Sam’s development into a mediator and peacemaker is twisted and reinterpreted as coming from a place of weakness and/or fear. Rationality, maturity, wisdom, and compassion are not the traits of a scared, powerless child. They are the traits of a mature adult, who has been beaten down by life, and fought and raged against his circumstances, and somehow come out of it with more kindness and understanding and strength instead of less. He has made his own decisions whenever it was possible, within the set of circumstances doled out to him. From telling his dad to go fuck himself and going to college, to getting back into hunting to avenge Jess (NOT because of Dean—Dean took him home without complaint at the end of the woman in white case), to continuing to hunt after their father died because he wanted to feel close to him (Dean was actually weirded out and sort of disgusted by this), raging and fighting to save Dean from his deal against Dean’s wishes, continuing to hunt and working with Ruby (directly against Dean’s dying wish), drinking demon blood, jumping in the cage, leaving hunting to go be with Amelia, coming back to hunting to save Kevin, fighting with Dean over what he had with Amelia and threatening to leave if Dean didn't shut his mouth, leaving Amelia to go back to hunting (Dean ultimately suggests he go back to her—Sam chooses to stay), trying to kill Benny, demanding to be the one to do The Trials and saying he is going to SURVIVE them—that being the ENTIRE POINT, losing that resolve in a fit of depression but choosing to drop the knife, demanding space from Dean (and being given it), fighting to save Demon Dean who didn’t want to be found or saved, using the Book of the Damned against Dean’s wishes, telling Charlie that this is what he wants—that he used to want normal but now all he wants is to hunt with Dean and that he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he can’t have that, unleashing the Darkness in his desperation to keep Dean with him and even saying, “I would do it again” in the aftermath, saving the town being destroyed by Amara, getting into The Cage with Lucifer, leading a team against the British Men of Letters, nurturing Jack, punching Dean in the face when he was going to sacrifice himself, leading more hunters, wielding a gun against Chuck... and that’s just some highlights. Sam Fucking Winchester does not need your bullshit about him being some sad, scared, helpless baby lorded over by mean old Dean who has never let him do anything he wants. 

Yes, in the text itself, there is jealousy and resentment at times, and there is legitimate and righteous anger on Sam’s part on a few occasions. There is blame cast on Dean by Sam for some of these choices/circumstances. Some of those moments where Dean is blamed are legitimate, and some of them... frankly, are not. Within the framework of the fucked up dynamics of the way they were raised, Sam and some fans bristle when they feel Dean is casting himself as the parent he is not, but Sam also has been guilty in the past of trying to reframe himself as Dean’s child when things got tough. Neither of them is responsible for the origin of that dynamic, but they BOTH have responsibility to change it, and they both, ultimately, succeed in doing so. For Sam, his part comes in recognizing and learning to fully own his own choices. Recognizing that he is not a child, and he is certainly not Dean’s child, and it isn’t just “Mummy—loosen the grip”, but Sam has to too—not claim independence only to blame Dean for his choices when his own decisions have an ultimate outcome he is unhappy with. That is a legitimate arc that Sam goes through imo, but he comes out the other side of it, and he and Dean relate to each other much better as peers from then on—and I’d like to note that throughout the entire series, when they don’t relate as perfect peers and teammates, it isn’t always Dean “bossing Sam around”, but Sam also trying to sideline Dean and yes—boss him around. And when they lied and hurt each other and yes, even manipulated each other, Dean most certainly wasn't always the one doing the lying and hurting and manipulating. Always, always, ALWAYS, they both had an understandable point of view, and it was complex, and you could understand why they made the choices they did, even if you thought of those choices as being wrong ones. 

I also would like to point out (because this is basically what I see all of the time) that Dean being hurt by someone or simply voicing his feelings or opinion is in no way abusive or manipulative. Dean is certainly charismatic and loved and his returning love and respect is often deeply desired, but he is not an actual siren, who bends people to his will simply by speaking or being. People are, in fact, able to tell him “no”, and frequently FREQUENTLY do. Further more, no one is owed his affection, his unwavering loyalty, or his trust. He has a right to his boundaries, regardless of if it makes some poor sad sap feel deprived of the “wellspring of coveted love” while he works through things. He can be hurt and angry, and he can wear his heart on his sleeve at times, and he can be flawed, and broken. [Insert Castiel's speech from 15.18 here]. So can Sam. So can Cas. None of them are manipulating each other by virtue of getting angry, feeling hurt, being traumatized, needing space, or having differing opinions or feelings. Sam didn’t punch Dean in the face in 14.12 because he's a cruel, manipulative abuser trying to force Dean under his thumb. He didn’t work behind Dean’s back with Ruby, insist on doing The Trials, beg Dean to use Doc Benton’s alchemy, use the Book of the Damned to cure Dean, pump him full of blood to cure him of being a demon despite the fact that it might kill him, or scream at him and fight him for wanting to get in the Ma’lak box because he “doesn’t respect his autonomy” and “wants to control him” and “doesn’t respect his right to his own body”. He did it because he loves him desperately, and Dean could stand to fucking hate himself less, and he fiercely wanted Dean to live even when Dean didn’t want to or couldn’t picture what that could be like. He didn’t force Dean to do anything simply by opening his mouth to voice disagreement and swaying Dean when he did so. Now reverse that. 

Cas didn't beat Dean into the ground in season 5 because he wanted to terrorize him into never going against Castiel ever again. He didn’t go behind his back dozens of times, sideline him, go MIA, all because he wanted to manipulate and control Dean and punish him. He didn’t throw sassy remarks at him to shatter his self-esteem. Now reverse that. 

*Breathes*

Anyway, fuck "X is abusive” interpretations. 

#being serious for 5 seconds #RANTING RANTING RANTING #spicy spicy ghost pepper extract #mail

[calypsoff]

Ninety Six.

I am so unsure on how I should feel today, I am meeting my dad at the house I bought him. I really feel like turning around and saying to him I want my house back, but I won’t, I am not like that. I am just too kind for all that, I hate that I am always too kind for that, that I can’t just turn around and say give my home back. I should say that to him and give it to someone that is more worthy, but I will give him that gift I guess, I need to cut him off and never look back. I have been ever so happy here in Barbados, but this has been hanging over my head, something that I need to do. My dad thinks that I am ok with him, thinks I am ok with him forgetting my daughter, acting like I care for him and his new bitch, this is what gets to me then I just want to rip that home away from him but then I will look bad, he will come at me for this and I don’t have the patience to start going back and forth with him, I want to move on with my life, I want to move forward with the future I have that is so bright and waiting for me to just take with both hands, I can’t wait to be a boss bitch without having to sing on a stage “you look so stressed out” Chris said, looking up at him “you are just sat there staring in the mirror arguing with yourself” Chris made his way around me, he stood behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. He gently massaged my shoulders “I am just going through scenarios in my mind, things I want to do and say to him. The things I want to do is the main one, I want to just take the home back from him, he doesn’t deserve it but then he will bad mouth me” I shook my head “you want me to come with you” Chris keeps asking that “no, I will do this alone. This is me and him, I want to ask him why, he won’t let me ask why because he will be busy watching you and attacking you but thank you” Chris wrapped his arms around me, kissed the side of my face “I am here for you, you can do this. I know you got it, you need to close this chapter” I know what I have to do, but it’s just doing it.

I just love being in Barbados and seeing my whole family together, all the smiles and loving jokes. This is my peace, this is where I can come home and find myself “sis” Rorrey came up to me “can I sit” he asked pointing at the couch “of course” I pointed shuffling up on the couch, Rajad is also with him, my brothers look like they have been discussing some things “we know you are doing to see dad, we want to come too” Rajad just said it, I had to smile “everyone wants to come with me, maybe that was my issue. I needed to do it myself, I need to stop being protected. This is between me and dad, not you two also. You both don’t need to cut that off with him, I am not asking that from any of you. I am cutting him off on my side, I don’t want anything to do with him. I don’t want anyone to be there” Rorrey put his head down “but I hate that you have to be alone in this, we got you. We know how much dad has upset you” smiling lightly “I know, but you boys can always speak to him, just me, this is between me and him. He really hurt me by not asking about my daughter, Rylee didn’t deserve this at all. She needed the love and prayers in that moment, but Ronald gave me nothing, just that he is taking care of those two bitches” I don’t even know the girls and I hate them “sorry you have to go through this” my brothers are sweet, they try.

Staring at my mother, waiting for her to leave the kitchen. She is taking her sweet time, but she keeps talking to Clinton, I want to talk to Clinton, she needs to move “how are you Robbie?” my mother asked, smiling at her lightly “erm I am ok, nervous. I will be going soon though, don’t miss me too much” I joked “oh I won’t, you will be ok Robyn, I know my daughter will be ok. She is a strong girl” I just want my mother to go “oh Clinton don’t go I have to ask you something” he was about to walk off there “I am going to see to Rajad, he’s not well” nodding my head, my mother always takes her time doing things, like just go please “is everything ok?” Clinton asked turning to me, just checking that my mother has gone “erm can you come with me to see my father?” I asked, Clinton looked taken aback by what I asked, “I know that everyone wants to help and wants to come with me, but Chris is going to be on one, my mother doesn’t need to be there, and my brothers don’t either, I rather you come with me if you can?” I don’t want to put him on the spot so I will ask if he would like to come or not “I don’t mind at all, if you want me to come with you I will” he is so sweet “thank you, how are you going to get away from everyone? They are going to ask” Clinton paused to think “I will tell Joyce truth and then just say I am going to lay down for a while” that is a good plan “thank you so much, I think I just need a person that doesn’t have no opinion on anyone at all” Clinton’ smile is so warm, he is the best.

Clinton has already left and is waiting in the car for me “you sure you don’t want me to come with you? I promise I will be quiet, let me come with you” shaking my head “thank you poppa but I rather do this alone, I will be ok. Just take care of Rylee for me” Chris poked his lips out as he came into me and hugged me tight “I don’t want you to do this alone but what can I say, I love you so much. You are a very strong woman” Chris is being so sweet “I love you too Chris, I will be back before you know it, I am not going to waste too much time on him” moving back from the hug “you are so sexy” I sniggered “nigga, if you don’t do something cute for me while here I am not going to have sex with you” lightly hitting his chest “you can’t help but have sex with me, you literally always want it too!” side eyeing him as I walked off, Chris grabbed my hand and yanked me back “I want you so bad again” here he goes again “put her down” Joyce is always there, Chris groaned out “how do you always see this, you are so annoying!” Chris spat, he did let me go “I love you poppa” he got in trouble, good that he did “I love you rabbit” making my way out of the house, it’s about time I get this shit done with.

Staring out of the car window, I kind of regret my dad a home now. Maybe I should have listened to my husband, I Say to him that he should listen to me, but I should have listened to him in this, he was right “should we go in?” Clinton said, looking over at him “I really don’t want too now but let’s do this” opening the car door myself “I shall be back soon, I won’t be long” I said to the driver as I got out of the car, I just know that my dad has the fucking kids and his new girls just there waiting on me, like I just know it. I am not going to cry, knowing me I probably will because that is just me. I am an emotional mess, when it comes to my family I end up being this way, I just get emotional, but I will get through this. Looking behind me to make sure Clinton is there with me and he is, making my way to the home. You know what angers me the most, now thinking of it they are reaping the benefits of my fame, fuck this shit. Knocking on the door and stepping back “you are very nervous right now, just relax. You got this” everyone is saying the same thing to me, I got this. I know I got this, but can I contain my emotions “Robyn!” my dad half shouted as the door opened, I smiled at him “hey” I won’t say dad “come in, come” he stepped to the side, walking inside “you bought your bodyguard with you” furrowing my eyebrows “that is my father in law, show some respect. Come” I just had to check if my dad didn’t close the door on him “oh yes, sorry my eyesight” he is a fucking liar, his eyes are fine.

I just knew it; I knew this would happen. I knew they would using this home as a family home, look at this shit and these stupid people in my home “Hi Robyn” I know she didn’t call me Robyn “Rihanna, don’t call me Robyn. I don’t know you like that” my dad got in my eye view “please they have been so excited to meet you Robyn, say hi to them” I know he is lying “first of all I came to speak to you, I want you to get out of my face and get these people away from me before I get real nasty up in this place so I suggest you do it now” my dad knows I meant every word “then we can go to a different room” pulling a face of confusion “no, I am staying in this room. They move” walking by him, who he think he is. Asking me to move, he can fucking move them I am sick of being the fool. Sitting down on the couch, I am in a bad mood right now. Looking over at Clinton “come” waving him over, I can’t be angry at Clinton at all. He is so sweet “that is more like it” he said sitting down next to me “I am feeling extremely annoyed so yeah, we won’t be here for long” I said to him, I won’t be staying any longer than I should.

My dad finally sat down; he took his time coming back actually. Only good knows why but I think it’s those bitches in the other room complaining but honestly it’s got nothing to do with them what’s happened between me and my father, even though I would like to say it to them too. My dad is here smiling like he’s done something good “I am so happy Robyn, to see you” how can he even be happy to see me when I am staring at him like I hate him “what happened to checking on my daughter?” glaring at him in anger, I want fucking answers about that “I didn’t want to be there and another one making it hectic for you, I know all the family was there for you. You were too busy Robyn so I left it, I didn’t mean it in a malicious way at all, I promise you now I care so much about my grandchild” I can’t believe he is flipping this on me “no dad” shaking my head “this is on you, you do not care until you want something from me. I am not going to start going on a rant about how much of a liar you are because you know it, I know you know. You do not care about my daughter just like you don’t care about me” my dad is taken aback by what I said, I can tell on his face “don’t speak like that, I was so happy to have a daughter. I do care for you, it’s me that changed your diaper when you were a baby” he retorted “you were also the man that beat my mother up and used the money that was supposed to be for us when we needed food, that also happened” the room fell awfully silent, we are both just staring at each other.

My dad feels uncomfortable, I can tell he does but I am glad he does “throughout my life you have done nothing but hurt me, hurt my mother, hurt my brothers. You are a fucking hypocrite, and you want to call me and tell me you are taking care of some girls that aren’t yours! Playing happy family with some other children when you can’t even take care of the kids you got now! You want to act holy now!? You want to be in my fucking life now that I have money, use my name, sell stories about me. I was fighting with my own husband because I didn’t want to believe, I just wanted a father, I just wanted to be loved by you! I look at you now and I hate you, I really hate you. I could have lost my daughter, I needed you then. I needed you to be there, but no! I got a call about you wanting to marry some bitch! You think I care? You’re a loser dad, you’re a nasty loser that spent his daughter’ money, money we didn’t have on booze! Your past is still in your face no matter how much you run away from it Ronald, I cried. I mourned you! To me now, you’re gone. I don’t need you, I thought I did. I really did think it, but all I got was used” silence, that is all I am getting from my dad, I mean what can he say, there is nothing he can say “I am sorry Robyn, we all make mistakes. What I did in the past was a mistake” I sniggered shaking my head “hitting my mom was never a mistake it was a choice; I saw it all. Thank god Chris loves me because I don’t know how to love a man, thank god Chris is patient with me. Thank god I now have such a good male figures in my life because I was damaged goods and that is because of you!” I pointed “I don’t want nothing from you, I want you to delete my number. I don’t want you to ever speak on my name because I will fucking sue you so quick. You can keep this home, a leaving present from me, I can live without it. I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to hear you anymore” getting up from the couch “Robyn please don’t do this, I am so sorry!” he spat, this is what he does “your sorry doesn’t work anymore, just like my mom left you. I am too” he doesn’t deserve me.

I breathed out as soon as I got in the care, I didn’t breathe I don’t think. I was trying to keep my emotions so much inside of me that I just let out and now I can breathe, the car drove off and I didn’t look back at all. Flicking the tear that fell, I did it. My chapter with him is closed, I am done, I am over it “proud of you” looking away from the window and at Clinton “oh yeah, sorry I have been just zoning out but, he was still the same man that has been playing me, that has been not really caring for me. Did you see his attitude?” Clinton nodded his head “he doesn’t deserve a status of a father or even a man, I am sorry you had to see these things but it’s time you moved on and have a happier life, you deserve that. I think you took him by surprise because he is used to that weak Robyn, but he did it to your daughter so that pushed you, but we move, don’t we? You are better then that and it’s hard to close any chapter on a parent” he is right “thank you, just your aura being here really strengthened me. I just wish I had a better dad; you know but it’s life. I just can’t wait to go home and hold my daughter” I didn’t need this in my life, I didn’t need my dad being dragged behind me now I move on to a new era of my future.

Hey! The writer here. I just want to say thank you all for reading, it’s been a long journey with a lot of loyal readers. I have enjoyed writing this, I have. But sometimes you just need to stop and think it’s run its course, for me this has. This is the last chapter for this part of their life on my story, I know some may feel it’s over too quick but then when you think about it, when is there ever going to be a right time to stop this story but I have enjoyed it a lot, there has been lots of controversy with some anon comments and so on but besides that it’s been great, and again it wouldn’t been enjoyable without you readers so thank you x

#chrianna fanfiction #chrianna #chriannaff #chrianna ff #fanfic #fanfiction

[wormstacheangel]

Almost: Ch9 Epilogue

Summary: Castiel was moving on with his life. He is engaged to a man who loves him and has a semi-relationship with his family. Then his father dies and Cas has to go back to his hometown. It's fine. It's not like he would bump into the man he loved on his first day back and realize that - oh shit! He still loves him! Now what?

Note: This is all in Cas's POV so you will read some Cas/Mick stuff but don't worry it's still the happy ending we all wanted :)

Read the completed story on AO3 link (maybe leave a nice comment)

Word Count: 6063 More Under the Cut

Cas kicks the front door of his childhood home closed and drops back against it with a huff. He drops his head back and bangs his head against the hardwood for a few seconds before he hears steps walking towards him. He opens his eyes and sees it was Michael who was striding forward, a curious glare fixed upon him before he raised his eyebrows.

“Was that the hick’s car, Castiel?” Cas rolled his eyes as he pushed off the door and walked to shove the bags into Michael’s chest. He only laughed in response as he took the bags and ignored Cas’s shoulder shove. “You’ve only been here for one day and you’re already crawling back to those Winchester’s again.”

“I don’t see how that concerns you, Mike.” Cas didn’t look behind him as he walked up the stairs to his old bedroom. He needed to lie down.

“Well, Mick went out with Gabriel to go pick you up. Do you know Mick? The man you agreed to marry?”

Cas sighed as he gripped the stair banister before he turned to glare back at his older brother. “I know very well who I am engaged to. Thank you.”

Michael shrugged, a smirk on his face as he started to walk away. Cas tightens his hold on the banister as he fights his instinct to at least throw his shoe at his cocky brother. “Just didn’t want you to forget. Mick is a good man.”

“You mean because he comes from a good family?” Cas caught himself making air quotes again and quickly put his hands deep in his pockets.

“Exactly.” Michael disappeared around the corner and into the kitchen.

“You’re an ass! You know that!” The only response was a laugh and Cas stomped his way back up the stairs.

He’s almost 30! He should not be bullied by his older brothers but here he was. Slamming his bedroom door shut and quickly jumping into his old bed like good ol’ days. He laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling as he hugged a pillow to his chest.

Dean kissed him. He kissed Dean.

Cas’s fingers hovered over his lips as he sucked in a breath before he screamed into his pillow.

What the hell was he thinking kissing him? Fuck, it was good. It was so good. His heart hasn’t stopped racing since getting out of the car.

How many times has he just imagined being back in that car since he left? He hasn’t thought about it in a while but all those feelings just rushed him as soon as he saw Dean. In his stupid cute work overalls too! Messy hair and...No!

“Nope.” Cas sat up and patted his chest as if that would calm his heart up. “Stop. Stop.”

‘He’s already married, Castiel’ He thinks to himself before he pulls off his gloves to look upon his engagement ring.

They both moved on. Yeah. Yeah, so what if Dean says he loved him way back when? So what if Dean fucking Winchester just made out with him? Cas wasn’t going to break up a family just because he wants to kiss the guy.

‘Yeah! That’s it. It’s just the sexual tension.’ Cas tells himself as he lets out a shaky breath.

“Castiel?” Cas looks up as his door begins to open and Mick poked his head in. “Hey, sweetheart, did you actually walk all the way home?”

He closed the door behind him and walked to sit on the bed with Cas. His gentle fingers started to run through his hair and calm Cas’s mind. Yeah. he’s moved on. He shouldn't worry about it anymore. He has Mick now.

“Are you okay?” He hears Mick quietly ask before he leaves a small kiss on his temple. Cas melts into it.

“Yeah.” Cas sighed as he smiled at him. Thankfully Mick wasn’t the best at reading him so the guilt was easily hidden away. “I’m just tired.”

“You wanna head back to the hotel? You can nap there while I finish some work.”

Cas nodded a few times. Yeah, he shouldn't stay in his old room where most of the things in here were Dean’s. But there was something he had to do first.

Cas grabbed Mick’s face and kissed him. His fiance was shocked by the sudden kiss because that’s not who they are. Mick was so gentle with him. He was patient and waited for him even after two years of just being friends because Cas didn’t want to date anyone who was friends with his older brothers but Mick wasn’t anything like them. He was nice. He was kind.

And Cas hates himself for making excuses about why Dean’s kiss was better. It was because there was desperation. There was tension there. They haven't seen each other in years, of course, it’ll be hot but...this - with Mick - was nice .

When he pulled away Mick blinked at him a couple of times with blushed cheeks. “Wow. What was that for?”

Cas just shrugged. “I just missed you today. You’ve been with Gabriel all day.”

Mick nuzzled his nose against Cas’s own as he left a small peck on his lips. “Then I promise to be gone more often.”

“You better not.” Cas smiled and kissed the side of his mouth before he stood. “Come on. I wanna leave before Mike sends me another errand run.”

Mick wraps his arms around Cas’s waist as they start to walk out the door, his lips leaving little kisses at the back of his neck that did make his heart race. Cas loves him. There is no doubt about that or about Mick’s love for him so he shouldn’t think about Dean again.

He hasn’t done so in years! So it should be easy to push him deep into his mind again.

It’s not like those green eyes and cute little smirk has any effect on him. Nope.

They walked down the stairs and to the kitchen where all the noise was coming from. He walked in to see - with no surprise - Mike and Luci arguing about something that Raphael probably said. Judging by that sly leer he had across his face. Gabriel was in the middle trying to calm them down while Anna was nowhere to be found again.

“We’re leaving!” Castiel calls out over their screams. As soon as he had their attention he cleared his throat as he lowered his voice. “We will see you at the funeral tomorrow.”

“Wait. Castiel?” Cas froze - a damn chill went up his spine - when Michael called out for him. “Are you going to need a ride?”

Oh. He was being nice. “Um, no. Mick rented a car.”

“Oh good!” Michael walked over to him and there was a flash of something malicious on his face. Fuck, he fell into a trap. “I could have called Dean for you.”

Cas could feel his ears heat up. “That won’t be necessary.” He hissed between his teeth.

“You sure, Cassie?” Luci - of course piggybacking from Michael - walked to tower over him.

Cas turned towards Mick. “How about you go and warm up the car and I’ll be out in a few?”

Mick squeezed his hand but nodded. He wished everyone goodnight and it wasn’t until they all heard the front door slam closed that were all screaming at each other.

“I said mind your own fucking business, Michael! Just because you are divorced that does not mean you have to make all of us sad and single!” Castiel shoves at his brother.

Gabriel was quick to step between them when Mike lifted his arm to lay a punch on him. He instantly calmed down when Gabe pushed him back. “Okay! We’re stopping this! Do you think Dad would want us to show up to a public event bruised up?”

No. It wasn’t ‘Do you think Dad would want us fighting?’ because they were all always fighting. It was all his family did. It was all his father did.  As long as their image to the outside world is fine then they can cut each other’s throat all they want.

They all immediately backed away from each other.

“Fine.” Mike fixed his tie. “It’s not like we’re going to see that Winchester again.”

“He’s going to the funeral.” Cas turned to walk away not caring enough to see their expressions. “And you better not fucking bother him or his family tomorrow!” Cas opened the front door. “Goodbye!”

-

‘So we’re not going to be adults about this.’ Cas thought as he watched Dean and his family walk away.

He felt Mick kiss his cheek as he squeezed him closer. “So that’s Dean. He seems... nice .”

Cas heard something off in his voice and he felt that annoyance bubble in him but he cleared his throat, shaking his head, before letting it rest down on Mick’s shoulder. He knows he was just getting too protective of Dean, the same feeling he has always felt since meeting him at 14 years old.

“He is.” Cas can hear the stiffness in his voice. “Um, you go sit down. I’m gonna go look for Gabriel.”

“You sure?” Mick gently tilts his head so Cas had to look at him. “You look a little shaken up.”

Mick leans in to give him a kiss but Cas ducks his head. His lips pressing against his hair. “I’m fine. Nobody here really misses my Dad.” Cas chuckles, it was cold and that only made Mick look at him with rounder eyes. “Save me a seat, okay?”

Mick’s only response was a stiff nod while Cas leaves the entrance to walk to the back offices where his siblings have been hiding the whole time. None of them wanted to go speak to their extended family but instead, they found it more important to practice their speeches for when they had to go up and pretend to be a perfect child to the perfect father. Cas was quick to deny making a speech along with Gabriel.

“The place is as full as it could be.” Cas announced as he walked in, dropping a kiss on Anna’s cheek when he saw her. “Where have you been?”

“The further I am from all of you the more I feel like I keep my brain cells.” She quickly and easily answered.

“Fair enough.” Cas smiled back at her before he went to sit beside Gabriel.

“Not a dry eye in the house I assume.” Raphael comments and they all chuckled. It was dry and humorless. The air was still calm around them. Nobody has raised their voice all day. Maybe their father’s death hitting them differently. They weren’t sad. No. It almost felt like they were all disappointed.

Maybe all for different reasons.

Cas was sure disappointed that the man decided to die before they could work things out. But of course, Chuck’s anger would take a hold of his heart and end up killing him. Kinda left Cas feeling stupid for even caring about him but tears have not shed.

Not from the guest. Not from his siblings. Not from him.

Cas spent the rest of the funeral sitting beside Mick trying not to roll his eyes at the melodramatic way his siblings were all acting.

When the whole thing was over Cas sent Mick to their house because he wasn’t allowed to the burial per their father’s request. His siblings were already gone to wait in their cars but Cas stayed behind to make sure everything was running smoothly.

“We’re ready to take your father to the car.” A funeral service worker told him and Cas was ready to just nod and let him get on with it but something stopped him.

“Um, can you give me a few minutes?” Castiel asked him but didn’t wait for a response, not wanting to see the pity in his eyes cause that’s not what he deserved.

Cas walked over to the casket knowing he didn’t miss his father. No. He missed the father who he wished he had. A father who rarely showed himself to him. In birthday letters with money inside, even after he moved away and was cut off. In random books being delivered to his door all year round by someone unknown but knowing it was his father because the book was used with little notes written on the margins and the bookmark was still between the pages. A leaf or another piece of trash stuck between them.

He didn’t understand his father but he… but he really fucking wished he had more time to do so.

“Cas?” He heard his name being called and he turned just slightly to see who the faraway voice belonged to. Oh. Dean.

Next thing Cas knew, his face was being gently cradled in Dean’s big rough hands. Eyes soft and warm as he stared back at him. Cas thought that he was okay but then he heard Dean ask, “Hey. Hey, Cas, it’s okay.”

And that’s when Cas realized that it wasn’t. No. He wasn’t okay. This whole situation wasn’t okay.

And Dean let him cry. He let him cry and didn’t mock him for feeling anything but anger towards his father. Dean held him and heard him. He understood. Like he always has.

And he’s gonna see him later.

Before going back to face his siblings Cas quickly goes to the bathroom to splash water on his face. He can’t look like he was crying. His brothers will give him no mercy.

-

The house was filled to the brim but Sam was easy enough to spot. He was with Charlie and Balthazar in the backyard. There was a big group of them laughing over something but Cas didn’t see Dean in the crowd.

He didn’t know what switched in his head but as soon as the burial was over and Cas got in his car he couldn’t wait to go home. To see Dean. To be in his arms and just be held. He knows it’s wrong. He knows but a hug is nothing but innocent.

“Sam,” Cas pulls at Sam’s arm. “Where’s your brother?”

“Oh, um,” Sam looked over the crowd and was about to shrug with a small pout when Charlie grabbed his attention.

“He went upstairs. Said he wanted some peace and quiet.” She tells him and Cas smiles a thank you to them before quickly walking over.

He took the steps two at a time knowing where Dean would be. The only place Dean would feel comfortable in this entire house.

As soon as he opened his bedroom door and saw Dean - looking beautiful and bright - he felt relief crash over him like a beach wave.

“Dean.” He wasn’t sure if he said his name out loud but he could feel the tremble on his lower lip when he spoke it.

Cas could feel the heavyweight on his shoulders lift away just by the sight of his old best friend. He knew these were all dangerous feelings but if he made enough excuses for them then it was okay. It was okay if he felt like he was floating when he finally made his way to Dean and then their bodies were pressed against each other.

Cas clung to his warmth, breathing in his scent of motor oil and cologne that lingered on his skin. He heard a giggle that shook through his chest and realized it was his.

Wow. He really wanted this. Needed this. Dean.

“I didn’t think you were going to come.” He heard himself admit. And the truth hits him as well. He figured Dean would be angry with him. For him to be as dead to Dean as his father was but no. No, Dean was kind.

He said he loved Cas way back then. He kissed him back. Held him as he has always dreamt of being held by Dean but...but-

“Wow! Am I getting one of those hugs too, sweetheart?”

Mick .

Cas can feel his body stiffen and go cold because he has been caught. Oh, it’s gonna become a talk. He already knew it.  

What can he say this time?

That he couldn’t feel like he could breathe until he was in Dean’s arms? Wait - Cas turned to look at his fiance smiling at him. Yeah, he was a little mad. The strain in his eyes was clearly visible. Then Cas turned to look at Dean and before he could ask Dean answered his silent question.

Of course, he would understand.

Then before he said goodbye to Dean he had to give him his number. He dug through his drawers and ripped a piece from an old notebook to write his number. Then he drew a happy face to reassure Dean that he can call him. Text him. Just talk to him.

The kiss he left on Dean’s cheek was just as unexpected to him as it was to Dean. But his lips tingle the whole night.

Even when Mick lectured him about getting close with Dean again. He started to feel guilt eat at him when he kissed Mick to reassure him but his mind flew to Dean. And he knew - fuck he knew- he was screwed.

-

Dean sent a heart. A heart!

Cas's own heart threatened to leap out of his chest but before he could respond Mick walked back into the room. In nothing more than pajama bottoms and a towel over his head.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Mick crawled over to him and pressed a kiss at the base of his neck.

“Well, now I’m looking at just you.” Cas turned his phone off and wrapped his arms around his fiance. “You had a good shower?”

“Would have been better with you.” He kissed him and Cas laughed before kissing him back.

“Too tired.” Cas told him as he nuzzled his nose against Mick’s skin. “Distract me? A lot...a lot happened today.”

“Sure, sweetheart.”

And they got comfortable and talked all through the night. Passing out over the covers.

Cas’s last words before he fell asleep were, “You know I love you, right?”

“I know.” He kissed the top of Cas’s head.

Cas decided he’ll delete the conversation in the morning. That his dumb crush on Dean was not worth losing this. Losing Mick.

-

Cas didn’t think he would end up bruised and beaten by the hands of his brothers again. No. He figured the will reading will be as calm as the funeral and the burial but as soon as the lawyer told them that Dean was getting most of the money he should have known. He should have protected him better.

Dean dragged Cas to the bathroom after everything was over. Throughout the whole reading he kept fussing over him and as much as he loved Dean’s gentle touches - and he kept burning him with them - he was getting annoyed because his brothers kept glaring at them.

“You’re so stupid. You shouldn't have hit him back. You dumb fucking hothead.” Cas was leaning against the sink as Dean wiped his eye where it stung with blood. “Stand still!”

“No! It hurts, asshole!”

“Don’t be a baby.”

Cas rolled his eyes but tried not to twitch his face as Dean cleans him up.

“There you two are!” They heard Bobby call out to them and walk into the bathroom to give them a few bandaids and one ice pack. “You two head out. I’m gonna get a ride with Gabriel. Still got a few things to get through here and I don’t want your dramatic dumbasses getting me kicked out.”

So they left and Cas was too frustrated to do anything but listen to the familiar music. Feel the familiar vibration of the engine underneath him and just feel at peace once again. Feeling like finally - fucking finally - he was where he belonged.

So when the music started to end he got nervous. He didn’t want to leave this car just yet. He can’t handle the real world right now. Everything is different now. He had no money now. His siblings were mad at him for once again picking Dean over them. Because he always had.

Fuck, he was glad Mick wasn’t making him choose because he was afraid he'd know the answer.

If he can just have Dean next to him. Like this. As a friend and nothing more. Then he can live like that.

But now, one second he was laughing and the next Dean's face was practically on his. Heavy breaths mixing and their body heat warming the car even more.

He was gonna kiss him! Dean was going to kiss him again! No. No. He’s married! He has someone and Cas has someone! No. Fuck his stomach hurts but his eyes were closing.

Cas hummed in response to Dean calling his name. His head couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted Dean to just call his name from now on. Wanted Dean to be his. Wanted Dean.

But Dean won’t kiss him. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me!

He was holding him so desperately but Dean was still hesitant. And Cas wasn’t willing to close the gap because Dean kissing him was different than Cas kissing him. But he wanted him again.

“Dean.” Gosh, he sounded so pathetic. Like he was praying to him.

He moved a little closer and accidentally brushed their lips together and Cas knew he couldn’t wait any longer. His whole body heated up at the slight brush. Then Dean made a whimpering noise and Cas’s whole mind went blank.

Did...Did Dean sound like that? He wanted to hear more.

Cas couldn’t think of the damn consequences anymore. He didn’t care when he could have Dean right now. He was pathetic and crumbling right in front of Dean.

Then a loud bang flipped the switch back on in his head and made Cas jump away from Dean’s touch.

No. No. No.

Cas turned to see Mick standing outside the door and he didn’t think of Dean as he scrambled out of the car to see his fiance’s heartbroken expression. Anger was already there but then it faded to concern.

“Can we talk inside?” Cas could hear his shaking voice but Mick took his hand to lead him away from the car.

Away from the closest he has ever felt to home. Where he felt like he belonged. In that car. Sitting passenger side with Dean Winchester beside him.

Now Cas was sitting at the edge of his bed watching his fiance pace in front of him. Quietly fuming because Mick was nothing like Castiel.

Mick doesn’t yell. Mick doesn’t throw punches. Mick doesn’t fight. He’s patient and kind and that’s why Cas fell in love with him in the first place.

But right now Cas wished he would yell at him. Fight for them.

“So, what? Are you just going to...what?” Mick asked because of course, he wanted to know what Cas wanted. “Do you want to break up?”

Cas let the tears burn his eyes as he looked down at the ground with a heavy shrug. “I don’t deserve you, Mick. I always knew that.”

“That’s not what I’m asking.” Mick took Cas’s face in his hands and it was soft. “I’m asking you what you want. Do you want me?”

Cas nodded as he reached to grip Mick’s shirt with his bruised hands.

Then Mick sucked in a shaky breath before he said the most surprising thing. “Then that’s all I need to know.”

Cas blinked up at him. “But...but-”

“If you still want me then I’m here for you, Castiel.”

“Why? Why are you...Why are you being nice to me? You should be mad! Fuck, I’m mad!” Cas gripped at him and pulled him forward until Mick was sitting practically on Cas’s lap. “I almost kissed - I kissed someone else!”

“I knew it would be hard for you to see Dean again. You loved him. He’s the reason why you kept breaking up with me in the beginning. He was...he was your first love.”

“Stop being so nice.”

“No. You deserve nice.” Mick wrapped him in a hug as Cas hid his face into Mick’s shoulder. “I love you, Castiel. And I know you love me. Maybe...maybe tomorrow we can finish the paperwork and head home.”

Home . No, he’s not going home but it’s as close as he’ll get.

Cas doesn’t say another word. He only cries while Mick holds him.

-

“We can just leave. You don’t have to say goodbye to him, Castiel.” Mick brushed his fingers on Cas’s cheek to reassure him.

“I can’t do that to him again, Mick. But you’re right. I’m just gonna say goodbye and it’s gonna be a fresh start for us. No more Dean. He has a life and family to think about and I have mine.”

“Yes.”

“Don’t want to be a homewrecker.” Cas laughed, it was cold again.

“Castiel.”

“I’m fine. Let’s go.”

-

“Castiel,” Mick huffed as Sam finally dropped his arm around him. “Your friend wasn’t letting me through. Are you ready to go home?”

Home .

Cas twirled his engagement ring in his finger and he let out a shaky laugh because he was about to make the biggest mistake of his life. Again.

“I am home, Mick.” Cas sighed as he finally felt like he could say what he wanted. He was free, to be honest with himself and with everyone else. “I’m sorry.”

Mick’s face drops and Cas wants to take him in his arms but he stops himself.

“So,” Mick cleared his throat. Eyes watering as he looked Cas over. “You’re staying?”

Cas nodded before he slipped the ring off his finger and gave it back to him. Closing Mick’s palm over the beautiful metal ring.

“I love you.” Mick tells him, so quietly and broken that Cas's own heart calls out to him.

“Me too.”

“But it’s not enough?”

“I’m sorry. I just… I love him more. I always have.”

“I know.” He says it so quietly while he stuffs the ring in his pocket. He sniffles just a little and then Sam was patting Mick’s back.

“Um, Sam?” Sam turns to awkwardly look at Cas. “Take care of him? I’m just gonna go-”

“Sure, man.” Sam smiled with his lips pressed together.

“Don’t worry, McDreamy, we’ll take care of your um...Mick here!” Charlie winked at him and Cas thanked them before he quickly went back to Dean.

Went back home.

-

Cas knew this morning was different. He could feel it in his bones and by the way, his skin warmed against the rising sunbeams that shined through the window. Today was a new day. A new start.

Starting with the new person - old friend but new future - who was heavily draped on top of him. And not to mention drooling on his chest.

Cas rubbed his eyes, slowly moving as to not wake up the sleeping Dean, to admire his new - they haven’t gone through specifics but Cas would like to say - boyfriend. He won’t say it out loud. Not until Dean mentions it but he would think it.

Mick was never much of a cuddler. They slept on their side of the bed and that was always okay with Cas. Especially when he got a whole blanket to himself but with Dean, he really didn’t need a blanket. His body heat was enough to keep him warm through the night.

They must have fallen asleep talking last night - well they were doing more than talking but talking took priority - as they were still in their clothes from the day before. Cas just realized that he’ll have to face Mick to get his stuff from their apartment in California. He starts to make a list of things he wanted and if it was even worth the hassle or he could let Mick just throw it away.

But he wanted his books.

“A little higher.” Dean hummed in his sleep, nuzzling his face into Cas’s chest with a sleepy grin, and Cas looked down to realize that he absentmindedly started to rake his fingers through Dean’s hair. Cas did what he was told with a happy grin and watched as Dean threw a leg in between Cas’s own to cling tighter around him. “That’s the stuff.”

Cas couldn’t help the silent chuckle that shook through him and the blush that rose when Dean pressed a kiss to his chest.

“Are you awake now?” Cas used his free hand to run down Dean’s back. “I kinda wanna shower and change out of-”

“No.” Dean clung to him more. Like a stubborn child and man, how could Cas ever believe he could live without him. “Sleep still.”

“Dean, you have a meeting to go to. And I would like to pick up my inheritance as well.”

Dean sighed and pushed himself a little higher so he could look down at Cas with a grumpy pout. “Do you only want me for my money now?”

“Of course. I’m poor now and I need you to take care of me.” Cas grinned up at him as Dean rolled his eyes but slowly leaned down for a kiss. Almost as if checking to see if it was still okay. If it was the right thing to do but Cas stretched his neck up to close the gap between them.

Kissing Dean first thing in the morning is in Cas’s to-do list for the rest of his existence.

A few sleepy kisses, a lot of soft laughter, and an awkward toy left in the shower later they were finally dressed and ready for the day. Luckily, Charlie was kind enough to bring Cas’s suitcase back to him so he had some of his clothes at least.

“You look too nice, too fucking proper, to walk around with me.” Dean commented as they walked down to the car hand in hand. Maybe they were both blushing too but Cas is trying to ignore that part.

“I don’t even know what that means.” Cas rolled his eyes as he leaned into Dean’s shoulder. “I like what you’re wearing. You look...um shit - nice.”

“I look shit nice?” Dean raised an eyebrow at him as Cas cleared his throat.

“Well, if you must know I was thinking that you look hot as fuck, like a dumb lumberjack but I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to say that shit yet.” Cas didn’t dare turn to meet Dean’s grinning - stupidly teasing - expression.

“You think I’m dumb?” Dean teased and Cas had to fight back a groan because he knew what was coming out of his mouth next. “Cause If I remember correctly-”

“Dean.”

“I’m pretty sure I got the higher grades between the both of us.”

“Dean.”

“And the higher GPA!”

“I can’t believe I chose to deal with this for the rest of my life.” Dean stopped short and Cas looked at him confused. “What? Did you forget your keys?”

Dean’s expression softened as he carefully reached to cradle the back of Cas’s neck and leave a soft kiss. “I can’t wait to deal with you for the rest of my life too.”

“Oh.” Cas felt himself grin as his body shivered in anticipation for the next kiss Dean gave him. Yeah, he loved this man so much it ached.

Of course, dealing with his siblings wasn’t going to be easy. Especially when they were all pro-Mick and anti-Dean. Now more than ever. But Dean went with him to pick up his inheritance from the family house and even pack up his room because Michael got the house and he was sure he wanted everyone out.

“You sure you want to do this right now while everyone is home?” Dean asked as he followed behind Cas. “We couldn’t wait until like a week later?”

“No. I’m afraid they will destroy my books.” It’s all he had of his fucked up father and he wasn’t going to lose them.

Cas didn’t even bother knocking as he unlocked the door and marched right in. He was going to go straight to the study when he heard his name being called.

“Gabriel.” Cas sighed in relief. “I’m...I’m just here-”

“Mick called.” Gabriel started as he stopped a few steps away from them. Cas couldn’t read his brother's expression besides confusion but Cas was ready for whatever screaming match was about to happen. “He told us you ended things. What...What happened?”

Gabriel knew the answer already. Dean was standing right beside him, probably awkwardly scratching the back of his neck or twitching.

“I did.” Cas answered not saying anymore as he saw Gabriel’s anger slowly rise.

“Castiel! You can’t just-!”

“Gabriel, I didn’t come here to fight!”

“We are not fighting! We are discussing!” Gabriel turns his glare on Dean. “And what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Gabriel,” Cas warned.

“No! Tell me! Why does a married man want to ruin my little brother's life?! What the-the wife not doing it for you anymore?”

Dean shakes his head. “I’m not married.”

“What?” Gabriel blinks at him before looking at Cas for confirmation.

“Yeah, turns out he’s not actually married and Dad lied to me.”

“Shocker.” Dean and Cas both say at the same time.

Explaining to Gabriel was easy enough. Explaining it again when the rest of his siblings kept pouring in was...harder. Considering they are looking at the guy that took most of their Dad’s money. But in an odd turn of events, there was no yelling.

They talked. They asked questions and Cas learned that it wasn’t just him that lied to.

-

“Ah, there you are.” Cas looked up from where he was sitting in his father’s - nope now it was Michael’s - office and was greeted with a kiss. “You’re supposed to be packing.”

Cas held the book up at him. “I found another book where Dad left me notes to read.”

He closed the book with the same dried up lavender flowers that Chuck used.

“Can’t believe the books are all the old man left you.” Dean sat on Cas’s lap as soon as Cas put his book down. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and pressed his nose against Dean’s cheek before he kissed it.

“It’s the only thing we had in common. I’m not surprised.”

“Babe, you didn’t get the house. Didn’t get any money. Or the damn business. What did you get?”

“I got a rich boyfriend.” Cas grins at him and that makes his boyfriend laugh. Cas loves that laugh and relaxes at the sound of it. “And I get to read words my Dad never said out loud to me.”

“What did he say in this one?”

Cas spent a few minutes reading passages of his book to Dean with his father’s comments. Yes, they were both angry that his father lied to them and kept them apart but sometimes they just have to let the anger go. Chuck was gone. They were free now. They were together and they weren’t gonna waste another second with that ugly feeling.

Especially when he could make out with his boyfriend in his old office like a couple of sneaky teenagers.

“Hey!” They both quickly turned to the doorway to see Gabriel with Sam and Charlie grinning behind him. “I’m paying you to work! Not kiss!”

Sam looks down at Gabriel. “You’re paying them? What the hell, Gabriel?”

They walk away arguing while Cas turned to give Dean another kiss. “We should get back to work before Michael comes back. Just cause he likes you now doesn’t mean he will be any nicer.”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Dean got off of Cas’s lap and quickly helps him stand to pull Cas into his arms. “I love you.”

Cas holds him just as close. A smile on his lips as he stares at his beautiful boyfriend’s freckled face. In disbelief that he can finally say this. Finally, have this. Have him. “I love you.”

Dean kisses him softly before patting Cas’s ass - making Cas open his eyes mid-kiss and roll them - and pulling away. “Okay! Now let’s get your pretty books packed so we can head home!”

Yeah, Cas made the right decision.

#im sleepy so i won't edit thing...maybe read it on ao3 instead #thank you all for reading! #Destiel #Deancas #Supernatural #SPN #A More Profound OTP #My Writing #WormstacheWrites

[dontcare77ghj]

Warm & Cool

Bucky x reader x Loki

No-one knew how it happened. No-one on the team or in your personal lives knew how it happened. The best they could describe it was a series of events that ended with the three of you together.

You had been a part of the Avengers since the events of New York. Loki had been sent to Earth under Thor’s supervision as punishment. As the two of you got closer Steve caught news of Bucky not being dead and started his search for the man. It was in the early months of your relationship with the God, that Bucky was brought to the compound.

If it had taken a while for you to get closer to Loki, the man had invaded New York after all, it was an eternity before the two of you admitted your attraction to the one armed soldier to each other. And don’t even get either of you started on how long it took the two of you to invite Bucky out to dinner.

There were many bets that the three of you would not last. Many, many bets. But here you all were seven months later, still committed to this relationship and each other.

“I have never felt more sympathy for Steve than I do now.” You groaned, turning away from Bucky who let out another sigh. “Poor Stevie.”

“Stevie is a punk and could never take care of himself. I was being a good friend and helping him out. Please just let me take care of you, doll.” Bucky begged, running a hand down his face.

You were sick. It was all Clint’s fault. The ma who was basically your brother had begged you to look after your niece and nephews while your boyfriends were busy so he could go out with Laura. Because you love your niece and nephews you’d eagerly agreed to watch over the children.

What you weren’t happy about was the fact all three children had caught the flu and Clint had not mentioned this tid bit to you at all. Since Loki was back on Asgard with his brother, Bucky had taken it upon himself to ensure you got better.

“You’re trying to poison me!” You cried, pulling the blanket over your head.

“Doll, please. Just take the medicine. You’re not going to get well if you don’t take it.” He sighed.

“It’s disgusting Buck. It’ll make me throw up.” You whined, refusing to let Bucky pull the sheet off your body. “Loki would never treat me like this.”

“No, he’d use magic on you doll. And you remember how that makes you feel after.” He reminded you, making you groan.

You’d only ever been sick around your Asgardian boyfriend once. As his people never get sick, he’d been quite panicky at the sight of you laid up in bed, too ill to move. After witnessing how you were for an hour, he’d decided to use magick to cure you.

While the sickness faded quickly, the after effects had lasted longer than the sickness would have.

“It makes you feel like shit. Trust me Buck.” You said, popping your head out of the blanket. “Fine, give me the medication.” You sighed, holding your hand out in front of him. Bucky gave you a smug smile as he poured two pills out of the bottle.

“Here you go, doll.” He smiled as he passed them to you. “You’ll thank me for helping you get well soon.” He said as you took them dry.

“I hate pills.” You groaned, leaning back in bed. Bucky shifted so he was sitting next to you.

“Oh, my poor baby doll.” Bucky cooed, wrapping his metal arm around your small frame. “Has to take pills to get better.”

“Oh, that’s so nice.” You moaned as Bucky’s cool hand rested on your warm skin. “Don’t move your hand, James.”

“Doll, you’re burning up.” Bucky realized as he pressed his flesh hand to your forehead. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I was a bit busy trying not to get poisoned, James.” You murmured, leaning on his shoulder and pressing his hand onto your forehead. “Please don’t move your hand. It’s so nice.”

“I won’t move until you want me to, doll. I promise.” He assured you, running his flesh hand through your hair. “Go to sleep doll.” He told you several minutes later as your eyes began to flutter.

“Love you, Buck.” You murmured, pressing yourself further into his cool appendage.

“Love you too, Y/N.”

Summer. The time for the beach and for pools. The time for ice cream and cooling drinks of lemonade. Summer, the hottest time to be alive and the most uncomfortable time of the year.

Tony wasn’t sure what had happened but for whatever reason he couldn’t fix the tower’s A.C. system. He’d been working on it for the past two days and in those two days, the three of you hadn’t let your floor.

It was simply far too hot and, in an effort, to keep cool you and Bucky had been walking around in as little clothing as possible. Loki had found the whole situation amusing as you and Bucky sat in front of multiple fans in your undergarments, or less.

“I’m sweating like a pig.” Bucky complained, resting his metal arm in a cooler full of ice. “How are you walking around in all leather, babe?” He asked as Loki entered the room with a book in hand.

“Because it’s not hot.” He said, sitting next to you on the couch. “How are you today, my love?” Loki questioned you, resting his hand on your knee.

“I’m dying.” You groaned. “Sorry, hon, but it’s far too hot for skin to skin contact.” You said, brushing his hand off your knee.

“I don’t understand the two of you. I feel the heat much stronger than you both, yet I don’t think it to be warm in the slightest.” Loki shook his head opening the book in his hands.

“I would imagine your summers on Asgard are much hotter.” You commented. “But for us mortals, this is hot.”

“This is almost like a cool spring day to me.” Loki agreed.

“Back in my day it was never this hot.” Bucky grumbled, sounding much more like a man of his biological age.

“Yeah that’s because we ruined the planet since your day and age, Buck.” You said, rolling your eyes. “It’s called global warming, old man.”

“Loki is older than me.” Bucky pouted.

“At least I know how to adapt to the modern world at a relatively quick pace.” Loki said, making you smirk.

“You two are mean.” Bucky said, pulling his arm out of the melted ice and placing it on his chest. “That’s nice.” He sighed at the cool feeling.

“I’ll be nice until it burns you.” You pointed out.

“Well it’s not like there’s any other way to get cool right now.” Bucky said.

“If it makes the two of you stop complaining, I know a way to keep you cool.” Loki voiced without looking up from his book.

“If it keeps us cool, I’ll stop complaining.” Bucky agreed as you nodded.

“Very well then.” Loki said, closing his book. “Come here Bucky.” Loki said, shifting on the couch closer to you. He wrapped one arm around you and the other around Bucky once he sat and suddenly his skin turned a vivid shade of blue.

His skin was much cooler to the touch and you let out a content sigh as you pressed your face into his neck.

“This is perfect.” You smiled, pressing a kiss to his pulse point. “Thank you, darling.”

“Of course, my loves.” Loki said, leaning back on the couch with his book back in his hands. You and Bucky relaxed in his cooling grip, none of you saying anything as you cooled off and Loki read, before you and Bucky drifted off in his hold.

Non-reader POV

“We need more blankets.” Loki stated, getting out of bed and moving into the walk in.

“There are no more blankets, babe.” Bucky stated. “We have them all on the bed.” He added as Loki exited the closet with a scowl.

“How can we own so few blankets?” The God questioned the solider as he quickly got back into bed.

“There’s sixteen on the bed right now, Loki.” Bucky reminded him. “How many more blankets do you want?”

“Enough to make it bearable to sleep next to your frozen body.” Loki said, narrowing his eyes at his boyfriend. “How are you this cold?”

“Metal arm.” Bucky shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s winter Loki. It’s cold.”

“Far too cold.” Loki muttered under his breath.

“For a man who is part frost giant, you’d think you’d be able to handle a little chill.” Bucky teased, having heard him with his advanced hearing . 

"Only half of me is frost giant, the other half of me still feels the chill in the air, James." Loki said.

"I don't care if you're half vampire. I still love you." Bucky smiled, intertwining their fingers.

"I know." Loki smirked, though it was not a malicious smirk but a rather soft one.

"Did you just Han Solo him?" Y/N asked now standing in the doorway. Y/N had been on a mission with Steve and Natasha for several days now and though both men could see how exhausted she was, she still had a bright smiled plastered on her face.

"Neither of us know what that means love." Loki smiled, lifting back the many blankets as she stripped into her underwear.

"Remind me in the morning to add that to the last of movies you need to watch." You said, crawling into the offered space between the men.

"You're so warm, doll. We missed you." Bucky said, pressing his nose into your neck.

"I missed you too." You murmured, running your fingers through his hair.

"I never realised how warm you run, love." Loki commented, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"I run hot." You said, becoming drowsy because of the almost suffocating warmth.

"That you do." Bucky smiled, pulling both you and the God closer to him. The three of you continued an attempt at conversation but it eventually turned into indistinct murmurs.

After nearly a half hour of mindless mumbles and murmurs the three of you drifted off to sleep. And throughout the night the sixteen blankets became one and even that one was pushed to the end of the bed because it was no longer needed.

The boys weren't cold with your warmth next to them.

Taglist

@piper-koko-barnes-rogers @hopingforbarnes @skeletoresinthebasement @agent-barnes40 @rvgrsbrns @jelly-fishy-babie @smilexcaptainx @starlingelliot

Show me your support. Give it a like. Leave a comment. Share with your friends and reblog. Inbox/message me any comments, ideas, pairings, taglist requests, or whatever you wish.

Coming soon;

Dean x reader x Cas

Wanda x reader x Vision

Steve x reader x Wanda

Natasha x reader x Tony x Bucky

Natasha x reader x Wanda

Tony x reader x Steve

#Bucky Barnes #loki laufeyson #loki x reader #loki layfeyson x reader #Loki imagines #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagines #Winter Solider #winter soldier x reader #winter solider imagines #bucky x loki #avengers x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki odison x reader #james barnes #james barnes x reader #loki #avengers x fem!reader #avengers x y/n #bucky x fem reader #loki x female reader #poly avengers x reader #marvel x reader #marvel x you #avengers x reader fanfiction #bucky x reader x loki

[dotthings]

15.06. A great wrong has been righted. Hope is allowed in this narrative. I hope Chuck is brooding in his brooding dark castle somewhere, gnashing his teeth and cursing the heroes like a proper villain.

The Dean and Cas breakup and Rowena’s death are in the “Then” so I knew this was going to be a doozy.

Excuse me, random witch I don’t know STOP TOUCHING QUEEN ROWENA’S THINGS THIS INSTANT STOP THAT.

Back in the bunker, Sam is not looking good. Tired, a bit damp-eyed haggard, and randomly cruising weird lore and stuff on the internet, like he’s throwing spaghetti at the wall, any lead, any hunt, just something, that will help them or keep him from feeling helpless. Jared was so great in this ep, showing Sam’s anxiety about Chuck, his ongoing sadness about Rowena, but also hope and joy because of Eileen, and my heart just aches.

Dean’s still stress eating, shoving dry cereal in his mouth and pretending to be cheery and marathoning Scooby Doo (comfort watching). He turns down going with Sam on the milk run and is hanging around in his bathrobe. This is a lot like Dean in S14 after being possessed by AU Michael. Anyone still think Dean has been perfectly okay since 15.03? LOLOLOL. Nor is this just because of finding out Chuck is still out there. Dean’s been stress eating and day drinking and trying to hide behind food pranking before they found out Chuck was back. He’s still reeling and avoiding his Cas feelings, which were complicated by the nihilism Dean feels because of Chuck, and now on top of that, they know that Chuck isn’t actually gone.

While Cas’s coping mechanism is to go fishing, something he says he learned from a friend is a way to find some peace. So Cas is getting away from his feelings by emulating the person causing the feelings he’s trying to avoid right now. Also note, in S11 Cas dealt with trauma by turtling in his room marathoning tv shows, which is also a Dean method of coping with trauma. We get to see Cas standing on his own, an autonomous and competent hunter, and that’s important, but Dean’s impact on Cas, his link with him, their similarities, doesn’t go away.

I really like we get to see Sam jogging. It’s one of those things, like sparring, we’re told happens and don’t get to see. Cas goes fishing, Dean hides out in his bathrobe eating sugary cereal watching Scooby Doo, Sam goes jogging. Everyone’s got their way of coping.

EILEEN!!! EILEEN IS A GHOST IT IS GHOST EILEEN HI EILEEN HI HI!!!!

So she’s been trying to get them to see her and Sam finally does. Little bit of a parallel back to S8 and Dean haunted by seeing Cas everywhere and Cas turns out to be real.

So Eileen needs help getting her soul into Heaven. I’m disappointed she actually really was killed instead of my theories because the way she was killed irritated me so much but I’m really happy that despite that actual narrative mistake where spn mis-stepped, her story isn’t over, this hole in my heart is healing wow thanks spn.

Dean seems weirdly okay with the idea of Sam as heir to Rowena’s magical lore and I honestly expected him to be more resistant but a lot has happened, characters grow, Dean cared about and trusted Rowena. So that’s interesting. He’s for it.

Sam’s sad face is just getting to me all over this episode.

“I need to find my son.” Cas’s sad sad face listening to this distraught parent. Of course he’s going to help her find her son. Of course he is. Of course his fishing trip is over. A hunt found him and of course he can’t turn his back on a parent who wants to save her child. What we see in this ep is Cas enacting what Sam and Dean have been saying about why they do what they do, even if things are miserable and it seems hopeless, but if they help others, that makes things better for the world.

Sam empathizing with Eileen about having been in Hell. Oh, my poor babies.

All right, Columbo, I mean “Agent Worley” is on the case. And the local law enforcement wants to check with his supervisor OH GOD OH GOD THE PHONE IS RINGING IN THE BUNKER DEAN IS ANSWERING IT

“He wants to talk to you” OH THAT’S FINE MY HEART JUST DROPPED TO MY TOES THAT’S COOL COOL COOL

“Sam’s been trying to call you...check your damn messages” and Dean checking on Cas and warning him about Chuck. Listen, I am Cas in this scene, Cas is me. Cas just LOSES IT and so did I. Dean, wtf, my dude, my pet, my love, my dumbass, it was your idea to alienate him, and *now* you’re telling him not to be a stranger, and warning him about the big bad that is a threat to them all, oh Dean, oh honey, you really do suck at being done with Cas, and Cas sucks at being done with you.

So Cas has a smol nervous breakdown because DEAN and rubs his hand hard over his face and can’t hold character as Agent Worley then pulls it together to maintain his cover.

I know, Cas, I know. Dean can be A LOT.

Sam finding Rowena’s journeys has got me all thinking about how Sam goes from blood relative legacy of John’s journal that Sam didn’t really choose but eventually appreciated as legacy to found family legacy of Rowena’s journal, a bond and a legacy Sam chose.

Sam telling Eileen what happened to Rowena OH MY HEART. This episode is a lot.

Eileen trying to comfort Sam and her ghostly hand goes right through him...and at the end of the ep they can touch. I WILL BE SHOUTING ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE.

“Her magic. This is how she kept control.” Sam talks about how Rowena understood how the deck was stacked, Sam talks about Rowena in a way that shows how deeply he understood Rowena. *cries*

Sam wants to bring ghost Eileen back to flesh and blood life. *screaming internally*

Seeing Cas in researchy mode, helping others, giving others hope, being a competent autonomous hunter THIS IS SO GOOD.

Loved the way Sam and Eileen use sign in general. And Sam signing “my brother” to Eileen so she can get help for him as he’s captured by the witches.

Seems weirdly apt the actress who played Chuck’s publisher now plays one of the witches who kidnaps Sam.

We’ve often seen spn use toxic siblings as dark mirrors for Sam and Dean, cautionary notes and red flags. In this ep the toxic sibling mirror seems to allow to highlight the functionlity of Sam and Dean. The witch sister pranks that were malicious and harmful vs Winchester pranks that aren’t harmful, but done out of affection, and to lighten the strain they’re under from what they do.

Enjoyed these scenes with Melly and Cas as Melly talks about her son and how they fight but “we’ll get through.” Relevant familial stuff there, and applies for parents and kids, siblings, or, y’know, whatever pseudo-spousal thing Dean and Cas have going on. Cas also relates to Melly as someone who rejected their expected roles put on them by higher ups in the chain, and wanted something better. Free will.

Yes I so like that Cas gets a win in this ep. He finds the missing son, reunites a family. Melly and her son seem to take the whole supernatural being savior hero thing fairly calmly, considering. And this ep also reminds us, very clearly: Cas is a hero. Sam and Dean are not the only heroes of this story.

I enjoy badass Cas and Cas was an able hunter in this ep but he really is NOT okay. A simple clean kill would have been enough for this djinn, but the way he kept stabbing the monster over and over, splattered in blood that isn’t his own, he’s compensating or something. Cas looked anguished. Cas is dealing with a lot. Feeling rejected by Dean, losing the only family he has, and his anger at Chuck for messing with them all so severely. Cas went to the woods and the lake seeking peace and wound up covered in blood.

Hm, so Cas can heal the boy’s ankle but he struggles to use his grace, which seems to be spluttering like it’s low on fuel. Looks like those human Cas metas are still pointing in likely directions.

“If I stay nothing changes...it’s time for me to get back in the game.” Yes he could stay in the woods and the lake and fish and take the occasional hunt, and hide forever from the ones he still loves but doubts his place and hide from the urgent main fight. But he can’t. Back the game...is also coming home.

Ghost Eileen is a badass and saves Sam HELL YEAH. Rowena’s legacy, Dean racing in last minute, and ghost Eileen, all saved Sam in this ep.

“I learned from the best.” Sam using Rowena’s teaching to defeat the witches. There’s that legacy again.

The spell to restore ghost Eileen to flesh and blood involves a bath that seems ritualistic, with Sam performing the spell. I am NEVER getting over how Sam is shaking with emotion while he courteously keeps his back to her. Never ever ever. And then their hands...finally touching. Clasping each other. And Sam hugging damp Eileen. Sam’s FACE. Oh my god I’m never ever getting over this.

This is so hopeful and joyful and it still hurts, Sam has been through so much and he’s had so much pain, and since Eileen was introduced, she seemed to bring out a light in him that gave me a pang right here *taps chest*. We’re seeing it in this episode. OUCH OUCH MY HEART.

Eileen is a great character in her own right and I love her and disliked how she was killed off so so much and it helps so much that SPN did this and restored her, and Eileen and Sam together, just gets me. Right in the chest.

This last Sam and Dean scene. “I don’t know what’s God and what isn’t” says Dean. HELLO WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING AND SAYING ABOUT DEAN’S STATE OF MIND AND WHY HE’S ACTING THE WAY HE DID TOWARDS CAS.

“We’re the guys who break the rules.” WOW LOOK IT’S MY METAS ENACTED VIA DIALOGUE

Sam is basically taking my position—that while Chuck manipulates some events, he can’t control everything and they make their own choices and do the unpredictable things. While Dean is caught in the nihilism of believing everything was manipulated, almost nothing was real.

Just as I don’t think Chuck wanted Cas to come back in S13 and that was an unpredicted twist, I don’t think Eileen is back due to Chuck’s meddling. Eileen’s spirit sought out Sam and Dean, Rowena’s legacy, her unfinished spell for Mary, is what allows Sam to perform the ritual spell to restore Eileen. As Cas has been tied to Dean’s sense of hope, Eileen has been an immensely hopeful figure for Sam. I don’t think Chuck wants them to have this. Can’t be 100% sure, maybe he wants them to have their hope just so he can crush them even harder, but these relationships being part of breaking out of Chuck’s machine, to make their own rules, find hope despite those machinations, makes sense to me.

“I need my brother.” Yes, you do. You both do. Sam and Dean don’t just need only each other, but they are rule breakers and they do need each other. Team Free Will is essential to break Chuck’s machine, and Team Free Will is Sam & Dean, Dean & Cas, Sam & Cas, and all 3.

While the ice has broken a bit between Dean and Cas in this ep, they still aren’t talking about Cas. But their biggest wild card is on his way home and they are Team Free Rule Breakers, all three of them.

#supernatural #spn #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #eileen leahy #supernatural spoilers #saileen #destiel #sam and dean: a work in progress

[shirtlesssammy]

2x11: Playthings

Then:

These brother have seen some things

Now:

This episode starts off real comforting. Aside from the exposition of a family moving out of an old inn, we’re greeted to a room FULL of creepy old dolls. A show doesn’t even have to try when dolls are thrown in the mix. The room of dolls belongs to Tyler, one of the little girls in the house. She has a dollhouse --a replica of the inn-- that would have made a younger me faint with jealousy. 

The dolls in this dollhouse move around mysteriously though. One moment she places a doll in a rocking chair, and the next he’s sprawled on the floor in front of the stairs --head on backwards. 

She hears a scream and comes out to see her mom calling 911, and the moving guy near death on the floor in front of the stairs. 

(Sidenote: Anybody remember reading The Dollhouse Murders by Betty Ren Wright as a kid? I loved that book.) 

The brothers, meanwhile, are trying to find Ava. Typical Sam can’t just sit and spin his wheels, and wants to work a case about deaths at an inn in Connecticut. Dean wonders why Sam doesn’t want to wallow --”more angst and droopy music and staring out the rainy windows”. AND I HAVE TO STOP AND POINT OUT THAT DEAN HAS DONE ALL OF THIS WHEN HE’S THOUGHT CAS DEAD. Projection looks awful on you Dean. 

They get to the inn and Dean’s pumped about working a haunted house case ---possibly running into Fred and Daphne. Bby boy eventually DID run into Fred and Daphne and I have EMOTIONS. (But, like, real ones. Our little show got a crossover with Scooby-doo!? It’s still surreal to think about sometimes.) 

Sam notices a powerful charm warding off enemies outside the inn. 

The brothers check into the inn. Susan, the owner, tells them that the inn is closing and asks if they’re in the area “antiquing”. Dean readily agrees to go along with their cover. She then asks if they want a king sized bed. Sam corrects her and she apologizes, but poor, poor, repressed, stressed Dean can’t let it go and asks her, “What’d you mean we ‘looked the type’?” 

They get room 237 --and Dean, film buff and noted Stephen King fan-- has no reaction. Boo. 

Sam reviews the deaths so far: a realtor and mover. Someone doesn’t want this family to leave. Dean is more focused on the vibe he’s sending out to the world that makes them think he’s into dudes. Sam succinctly sums it up by saying, “Well, you are kinda butch. Probably think you're overcompensating.” Dean’s nervous reaction kills me every time. 

Walking around the inn later, Sam finds more hoodoo markings. They then go to talk with Susan. In order to talk with her more, Dean sees her collection of antique dolls and tells her that Sam’s a collector.

Sam checks out the dollhouse and notices the doll with the twisted head. Tyler comes in and Sam asks about it. She said that she found it like that. She says that neither Maggie or her would do that because Grandma Rose would be mad. These are all her toys. 

Grandma Rose is upstairs, in a wheelchair, and Sam is forbidden to talk to her about the doll collection. The brothers set to digging up dirt on the grandma. 

Susan learns that the new owners plan on demolishing the hotel. 

Tyler has a tea party while the visiting attorney sits on his bed. There’s a doll sitting on the dollhouse bed as well. Both the dollhouse door and real door to the attorney’s room open. Tyler looks over to the dollhouse and sees the doll hanging from the ceiling. 

The doll’s real life counterpart is likewise occupied. 

Sam watches as the guy is hauled away in a bodybag. Dean asks Susan about what happened. 

He then finds Sam, who is REALLY DRUNK. Sam’s upset he couldn’t save the guy --and Ava (lol, are you sure about that one Sam?). Sam’s deeply upset about Dean’s earlier confession about saving him or killing him. In a moment of clarity, Dean tells Sam that John should never have laid that on them. Sam gets a promise from Dean eventually though. 

Dean heads to the bar and finds Sherwin (the butler?). 

He asks Sherwin about the history of the hotel. Sherwin walks Dean around and shows him pictures of the family in “happier days.” Sherwin notes that Rose will have to live in a senior facility and the only home she’s ever known will be demolished. They look at old pictures, and Rose’s nanny also sported a hoodoo symbol on her pinafore. 

The next morning, Sam’s worshipping at the porcelain throne. Dean checks that Sam doesn’t remember his promise to kill him and then proceeds to tease him mercilessly, Big Brother Style ™. 

The Winchesters head up to talk to Rose, who lives in the attic not-at-all-creepily. (Note to self: live in the attic when I’m extremely old and infirm and invest in a good, old, creaky rocker.) Rose can’t talk, which seems to rule out hoodoo on her part (which requires motor and speech control).

Susan finds them and kicks them the hell out. 

Back inside, the two girls are playing together and not packing. Susan tells her daughter that her friend (!!!) is IMAGINARY!!! Yesssss creepy ghost child time, baby. 

Susan is 100% DONE with Tyler’s buddy Maggie and tells her she’s too old for an imaginary friend. (Somewhere, young Sam is shouting HOW DARE.)

Later, Tyler plays with her dollhouse when the swing on the swingset starts to move.

A cold breeze blows across Susan as she packs the car and she notices the swings moving on the real swingset outside. The teeter-totter starts to move and that’s DEFINITELY NOT THE WIND. While she’s distracted by the haunted playground, her car heads straight for her. It’s R-E-D-R-U-M time. 

Sam saves Susan just in time. They all head straight for the booze. Dean tells her their theories: they thought it was hoodoo but now their money’s on ghost. In response, Susan takes a big swig of liquor. #Relatable

Now their theory is that Grandma Rose was using hoodoo to ward off a malicious spirit, but couldn’t once she had a stroke. Sam tells Susan that she needs to clear the house, including her two daughters. RECORD SCRATCH. Susan only has ONE daughter! They race off to find Tyler and her imaginary friend.

Upstairs, Maggie confronts a terrified Rose. 

Maggie’s going to keep Tyler for herself. MuaHAHAHAHA. “We can have lots of tea parties. Forever and ever and ever….”

Upstairs, the adults are met with a horrifying scene of unbelievable carnage.

For Someone Had Fun with Eyeballs Science:

Susan remembers that her mother had a sister. Would you say a………..twisted sister? Maggie died in the pool and her ghost now haunts the place. 

Cut to Maggie and Tyler dangling from the balcony railing over the pool. Tyler’s scared, but Maggie promises that after she jumps they can be together forever. The adults arrive at the pool just in time to see Maggie hurl Tyler into the pool. Tyler gets tangled in the plastic pool cover (SHUDDER) and breaks free only for Maggie to duck her back underwater. 

Suddenly, Maggie hears another voice! It’s a young girl calling for “Margaret.” Maggie fades out. Sam breaks the glass at last and dives into the pool to save Tyler. 

He hauls Tyler out and to the edge of the pool. There’s a lot of slow motion sorrowful looks between the adults (instead of instant first aid smh) when Tyler spits out water! She’s alive! Tyler reports that Maggie’s gone from the pool. 

Up in the attic, Maggie talks to Rose. They’re striking some kind of deal in order for Maggie to let Susan and Tyler go. “You kept me away for so long,” Maggie says. “I thought you didn’t love me anymore.” She caresses Rose’s cheek.

A little while later, Susan screams from the attic room. Rose is dead! The paramedics declare it another stroke. (A stroke of MURDER.) After Tyler and Susan head out for their new not-at-all-traumatized life, the Winchesters head off as well.

(I planned to put in a caption where Dean comments on Sam getting some MILF action and then Dean just comes right out and SAYS it right in the goddamned script.)

At the Impala of Feelings, they talk about the good times: the case is solved! And...the bad times. Sam reminds Dean of his promise to kill him. 

Back in the house everything is super fine and extra great. Two girls play in the family apartments while Maggie’s doll looks on fondly. 

The Dollquote Murders:

Son of a bitch. … Maggie said it first!

I just figured after Ava there'd be, you know, more angst and droopy music and staring out the rainy windows…

You are kinda butch. Probably think you're overcompensating

You're bossy. And short

That car didn't try to run you down by itself, okay? I mean, I guess it did, technically

Think you could have hooked up some MILF action there, bud

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

#spn recap #spn rewatch #spn 2x11 #playthings #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural season 2

[seven-oomen]

Yay, I’m glad you’re feeling better!  I’ve still got some time before work, so have a few more thoughts.  :D

First, re: Laura’s age, I’m pretty sure that if she was allowed to legally take Derek (16 at best at the time) with her to NY (which I assume she was or I’m sure it would have been mentioned by either Stiles or Noah), she would have had to be at least 18, possibly 21 at the time (I think that might vary state to state, I know 18 is CA legal age for sex) that they left (and she wouldn’t have been able to access their money if she was wanted for kidnapping - leather jackets and Camaros don’t grow on trees).  Also, if there’s approx. 6 years between Cora and Derek, there’s no reason there couldn’t have been as many between Laura and Derek.  And even if she was young when they left, to leave him there alone for SIX YEARS?  Yeah, she’s definitely got some explaining to do.

And maybe the wolf only physically manifests when he’s by himself?  Or later on, only with pack mates he fully trusts?

And, omg, I LOVE the idea of the other dad being Noah this time (as long as Claudia was okay with it, though lbr, she probably actively encouraged it), if only for the look on Jackson’s face when he finds out both who his other parent is and who his half-sibling is.  XD

Not sure how I feel about Theo as a lost Hale.  I haven’t really seen any episodes with him, so most of what I know is through tumblr and fanfic.  The general impression I got was that in some ways he was the most genuinely amoral NE type character on the show (most of the others skewed much more chaotic to me), which could make for some REAL interesting drama.

Oh man, I can just see them all meeting up at like a library or maybe an empty classroom because they’ve been down to the vault, and they start talking about the evidence they have so far, and Peter just starts going off on a rant explaining everything he’s learned, and in the middle of it he notices that there’s a fish tank in the room and just grabs a fish out of it and swallows it whole mid-explanation.  Everyone is mildly freaked out and doesn’t quite know how to react until finally Noah and/or Chris go over to stand in front of the tank before he passes by again to keep him from reaching in again.  XD

I think that was all for now, I need to get ready for work either way.  Enjoy your game whenever it arrives!  I hope you keep feeling better!  *Hugs!*

18 seems to be the legal age for sibling guardianship in the US from what I could find in a quick Google search. So she would have to be at least that. Which would still make her a teenager herself but she could also have been older. I’m also not saying I agree with what Laura did just that I can see why, even if I think it’s shitty and that it’s absolutely cause for what Peter did in S1.

I honestly think that the only Hale that was acting out of malicious/ less than good intent was Talia herself and that the rest of the Hales were just unfortunate results of their circumstances. Laura abandoned her uncle to protect her brother and take him away, which is inexcusable but understandable in her situation, Derek had to go along with her because he was a minor. They also just both lost most of their family including both parents and (as far as they knew) their sister. Laura’s biggest flaw in this case was not returning to Beacon Hills for her Uncle when the situation was safe for her to do so. Which could have prevented a lot of blood shed. And honestly, I feel like she should atone for that. She messed up big time on that one.

I like the idea of the wolf only physically manifesting when Peter is alone, or later only around the rest of the pack. Bonus points if no one can figure out WHY it is happening. Was it the fire? Is it Peter’s way of becoming evolved? No one knows.

Jackson has a fucking aneurysm when he finds out. There’s a lot of yelling and bitching and whining and snapping. But eventually, when months pass and threats rise, Jackson is also the first to defend Stiles, Liam, and Noah whenever they’re threatened. Malia is far more the type of person to sit back and watch what happens and doesn’t really mind her newfound family too much. She’s still adjusting to not being a coyote.

Claudia definitely knew, actually, I like to think she was the one who pushed Noah to go ask that hot piece of ass out. And although she and Peter had no romantic feelings for one another their relationship eventually evolved into a more best friends with benefits territory where they’d keep each other warm in bed before Noah got home and took care of Stiles together after Stiles was born but they never dated or felt romantic love to one another. 

For this scenario I’m keeping Stiles’s canon birth date as April 8th and putting Jackson’s birthdate as Malia’s on Nov 28th. Because that way Peter got pregnant when Claudia was 8 months pregnant. By the time Peter found out he was pregnant six weeks would have passed, Stiles would have been born and not long after Peter would have been kept away by Talia. (How she kept him away I’m not sure yet, but I’m sure she broke Peter, Claudia, and Noah’s hearts in one fell swoop.)

I do have to admit that was more like an after thought, and I don’t have much with Theo other than; I like his visuals as in looks. So I just also might not do that and just keep it at that.

Honestly I just like writing family dramas with surprise kids, ahhahaha, idk why, it’s just my thing I guess.

And that visual is honestly *cheff’s kiss* Yes XD

The pure chaotic energy lol.

Can you imagine Stiles’s face? Can you imagine Liam’s? Or Jackson’s? Lol.

Malia is just staring at it like ‘yeah, that makes sense’ when you’re hungry you’re hungry. And they have a  hard time explaining to her that NO, You are not supposed to eat random animals like that, Malia. NO matter what Peter does.. 

Yes, he is your father, yes he gave birth to you, but that does not mean you should follow his example blindly.

Hahhahaha and now I see Peter just trying to cuddle after eating a fish or a squirrel but the others are too disturbed by him to let him. XD

poor peter

#B #ben says stuff #my convos with anon #venom verse #peter hale #submission

[satan-the-avatar-of-wrath]

A Worthy Life

This is a submitted story, writer wishes to remain Anonymous. Credit to the anon, this is not my work.   (A story with Satan)

Inspired by true events.

~A Worthy Life~

Satan never thought of humans as something special to him. He neither liked nor disliked them. He only regarded them as fragile beings that have shorter lifespan and more vulnerable than demons like him. However, his view changed after that encounter. It all started when Satan had to go to the human world again after he begrudgingly received another troublesome task from the asshole Lucifer.

As usual, after he finished the task, Satan chose to spend his remaining time by reading his book in the local park. He was still in the middle of reading when he heard a faint meowing sounds from the bushes behind him. “Hm? Oh, hey there kitty kitty~ are you alone? Come here, I won’t harm you,” Satan closed his book and reached out his hand to the kitten, but that only made the kitten more frightened and ran away from Satan. “Uh- hey wait!” Satan decided to chase after the kitten. He was concerned with how dirty and frail the kitten looked.

Satan didn’t even notice where he was going or which road he took while he was chasing the kitten, but in the end, he managed to catch the kitten. “Hey come on- stay still. I just want to check and treat you.” Satan said as he lifted the kitten to inspect for any wound.

“Let go of my cat! You evil ugly blondie head!” Satan was surprised to see a little boy standing in front of him. ‘Where did this brat sprout from?’ Satan wondered. “Were you talking to me cheeky brat?” Satan asked in an irritated tone.

“No, I was talking to the garbage can. Of course, I was talking to you panini head. Now give me back my cat!” the boy shouted and stomped on Satan’s foot. “YOU-“ Satan almost snap and go demon mode before a woman appeared from across the street; visibly looking panic. “Vian! Where have you been?! You know I was worried sick looking for you! You shouldn’t be out in your condition!”

Satan turned his attention to the woman. “Is this rude brat your kid? Or perhaps your little brother? Maybe teaching him some manners would help” Satan said as he put on his usual fake smile; trying to keep every last bit of his self-control. “I’m truly sorry! Please forgive him. He isn’t my son or my brother but I feel responsible for taking care of him.” The woman pleaded with teary eyes.

“Don’t be mean to missy! She is the only one who cares for me. And you! Give me back my ca-ugh” the boy suddenly doubled over and coughed violently. “Vian-“ the woman immediately carried the boy and excused herself; leaving Satan alone. Satan could only stare. Dumbfounded. ‘Tch, humans are so fragile’ was the only thought that crossed his mind.

He glanced down at the kitten and felt a bit responsible. The boy got agitated because of him after all and besides, he just realized that he…is kinda lost. He didn’t know his way back, he also wanted to return the cat so he decided to join them.

The woman thanked Satan once they settled into the woman’s house, “Thank you for returning the cat, Mr. Sam. And once again I offer you my sincerest apologies on his behalf. He…has a hard time trusting new people,” Satan could only listen to the woman while he stared at the little boy who was already asleep. Satan was still annoyed, but the boy looked pathetic in his eyes so he decided to just let bygones be bygones. He won’t go as far as avenging someone way weaker than him, especially not a puny defenseless little human.

“I bet he is really a handful for everyone isn’t he?” Satan noticed there was something wrong when the woman looked quite offended when he asked that. “This is quite a sensitive issue. Especially for Vian. Vian is actually a good boy. But everyone reject him, even his parents, because of his chronic disease. Most people still believe the disease he is suffering from is extremely the contagious one and should be avoided at all costs. That’s why he always put on a brave front because he immediately thinks that everyone hates him.”

Satan fell quiet with an unreadable expression and only then the woman realized she was spilling too much information to a stranger. “Ah, I’m sorry, I’m blabbering too much. Uh you previously said you need me to show you the way to train station right? I’ll guide you there.” Satan put on his trademark smile again. “Very well, thank you for your assistance.”

—

It was already a few days since Satan returned to the Devildom, but something was bugging his mind since then. ‘Ugh that brat. Maybe I’m still annoyed with him after all? Maybe I should avenge him? Wait, no. That time was different. I didn’t sense any malicious intent from him. In fact, I only sensed…fear? Sadness? Anger? Hurt?’

Meanwhile, Mammon who was counting stolen his money across from Satan could see it clearly how distraught Satan had become. “Yo! Is there somethin’ wrong? Ya have been puttin’ on serious scary face but ya seem stuck at the same page of your book.” Satan finally snapped and retorted back; venting his anger toward Mammon. “Uh- shut up. If you are looking for what’s ‘wrong’ then you can try putting your face in front of a mirror and you’ll see what’s wrong.”

“Geez calm that temper will ya? You’re more salty than usual that means there’s somethin’ up with you. Well, I don’t know and I don’t really care but if ya want to do somethin’ you should just act by what you really desire. You’re a demon and yet you think too much before even following your desir- oops that’s my cue to go, adieu!” Mammon immediately bolted out from the room as soon as Satan gave death-glare to him. “Damn it. I guess I’ll just go. I can check up on the cat. Yes, that’s the only valid reason,” Satan tried to reason to himself.

After he managed to get Lucifer’s permission, Satan came back to the human world. It was a good thing he still remembered the way to that boy’s house.

“Ah! You are the yellow-head catnapper from before!” the boy already jumped to his defensive mode as soon as he saw Satan in front of the house. “Vian, please be polite, I already told you he was only trying to tend to Bobby.” the woman lightly scolded the boy.

“Ahaha that’s right. You should listen to your missy, cheeky brat,” Satan plastered his usual fake smile, but he didn’t feel as annoyed as before.

“Don’t call me that! My name is Vian! Missy, you are wrong! That yellow-head is an absolute meanie!” Vian ran up behind the woman.

“You are calling me with weird names so why can’t I also call you with one too?” Satan smirked. He was satisfied. He felt like he won an argument.

“Come on Vian. You shouldn’t judge someone immediately like that. I’m sure he is a…nice gentleman. Although a little petty-minded?” The woman added the last words only in her thought. “As proof, he was trying to help Bobby right?” the woman tried to reassure Vian. “And Mr. Sam, is there something I can help you with?” the woman asked.

“Oh err right. This may sound out of the blue, but I came by just to make sure if the cat is all right. I’m quite confident in my knowledge about animal anatomy so I thought I can offer you some help since your cat looked a bit unwell the last time I saw it,” Satan said; trying to find a strong excuse. It’s partially true that he was concerned about the cat, but he felt like there is another thing he was more concerned about and Satan still wouldn’t admit that the boy was part of his concern.

“Oh, my. Really? Actually, you are quite right. I’ve been trying to tend to it but I think my effort alone is not enough so I’m grateful for your help. Please come in. Vian please wait here and keep Mr. Sam accompany while I go fetch Bobby, okay?” The woman said before she went off to another room; leaving Vian alone with Satan.

Now that they are alone, Satan could sense the nervousness and confusion emanated from the boy more clearly. “Why are you helping my cat? Or more like why do you still bother to come here?” The boy finally broke the silence with a low voice, almost as a whisper.

“Hmm? I see you still have the guts to talk. With how you look now I was sure you’ve turned into a stone, but I see you still want to talk and ask me before throwing anymore accusation at me again?” Satan showed his exasperation passive-aggressively with his smile. The boy instantly felt guilty. “I- I’m sorry.” The boy was on the verge of tears while saying that.

“Uh- okay, okay apology accepted. Anyway, why do you think it’s weird for someone to come here and offer help?” Satan quickly went back on the topic and decided not to intimidate the boy any longer. It would be troublesome for him to handle a crying child.

“Didn’t missy already told you? I- I’m different. I’m different from everyone. Everyone is healthy and I’m..not. Because of my disease, everyone around me never thinks of me as a worthy one. They only see me as something bad and they all avoid me. At least I still have missy who can still accept me.” The boy looked crushed when he explained it.

At that moment Satan felt like the boy would crumble into dust and gone at any given moment. There were also that sharp pangs tugging his heart. It was a very unfamiliar feeling for Satan. He gave it a moment, but he still couldn’t put a name into that new feeling.

Satan was speechless until the woman came back. “I’m sorry to make you wait. Here’s Bobby.” The woman said while holding the kitten. “Please lie it down in here. I’ll check it.” Satan began to dutifully check the kitten. It didn’t take long for Satan to pinpoint the problems. “Yes, your cat is sick. I have the remedy for the cat, but I need a few days to gather it. I’ll come back when it’s finished. Until then, please keep your cat hydrated, clean, and fed well. Luckily, I brought some special wet cat foods. You can feed it with these.” Satan said before leaving. Satan smile when the woman thanked him, however, his eyes were more focused on the boy who only kept silent.

—

Back in the Devildom Satan prepared the remedy faster than expected. Preparing it wasn’t a problem for him. What troubled him was the weird feeling he got that day. He wasn’t sure at first, but after he gave it more thought he got some idea. ‘Maybe, just maybe I can relate to that brat?’ Satan thought to himself. They are both very different. He is a demon, a high-ranked demon and that boy is a human, just a powerless little human. However, there was one thing in common and Satan only came to that conclusion after he was finally sure of what he sensed from the brat. It was mostly a feeling of insecurity.

Satan hates to admit it, but he is aware of his own insecurities. How he felt he needed to prove himself, his worth, so his existence won’t merely be seen as someone else’s shadow. While that boy, even if that boy struggles over a different thing, Satan could see the boy also wanted to be seen as someone worthy, as he really is, not as something else, especially not as a weakness.

Since he started to realize it, a new desire started to grow on Satan. Satan didn’t want to take Mammon’s word, but that time, he just followed on his desire. A desire to support that one little fleeting life.

Satan began to rummaged through his pile of books; trying to find any explanation and cure for the said disease. Satan was devastated when he found out there was still no cure that can completely heal the boy’s disease. “AARGH! Damn it! Can’t I really do something about it?! Satan threw his book away in frustration. Satan didn’t know what else to do. For the first time he felt powerless and his demon power won’t do any good. In the end he went to the human world again with a heavy heart.

—

“Welcome, Mr. Sam. Thank you for sparing your time to come here again.” The woman welcomed Satan as he arrived.

“I already promised that I would come here again so it’s only normal if I keep my words, right? And here, you can feed the cat with this medicine” Satan flashed his smile when he handed the medicine to the woman, but his eyes were busy scanning the room. “Is the boy not with you today?” The woman looked hesitated to answer when Satan asked her. “Ah, you mean Vian? He is resting in his room now. His condition is worsening again.”

The woman then looked at Satan with a pleading look. “Umm I know it would be rude of me to ask a request to someone I just know recently, but could I ask for your help to look after Vian for a while? There’s no one else I could ask for help and I need to go buy medicine and some supplies for Vian. Also I believe you are a good person, so, please?”

Satan gave it a thought. There’s no harm in helping her and he is also curious with the boy’s condition. “Sure, I’ll help. Don’t worry about it.” Satan said. The woman thanked Satan and showed Vian’s room, after that she went off to buy things.

Satan sat beside the bed where the boy sleep in. Satan could only look at the boy’s face in silence. ‘He looks paler than before. What could’ve happened to him while I was away?’ When Satan was lost in his thought, the boy suddenly shifted uncomfortably in his bed. He looked as if he was in agony. “O-oi! Brat?! What’s wrong? Wake up!” Satan gently nudge the boy, but panic was clear in his voice. He was afraid if the boy is in pain or having nightmare.

The boy’s eyes shot open, his breath was ragged. At first the boy didn’t notice Satan presence. It was Satan’s gentle voice and touch that brought the boy back to reality. “Are you ok now?” Satan asked; genuinely worried. He was never this worried over someone else before, not even to his brothers.

The boy couldn’t process anything. He only covered his face; trying to muffle his cries. “Oi, come on. You should tell me what’s wrong. I won’t know unless you tell me.” Satan kept urging the boy to speak; his hand rubbing the boy’s head in an attempt to soothe the boy.

“I-I’m s-sorry. I just had a-a bad dream.” The boy said with a hoarse voice. Satan handed the boy a glass of water and said, “here, drink this first, then tell me what was it about.”

There was only silence until the boy finally spoke. “I dreamt about it again. I was alone. Then I saw in the distance there were people. They were having fun and looked very happy. I wanted to get close to them to join them, but they immediately steered away from me. They only saw me with disgust. Then I heard they all talked badly about me. ‘He is different, he shouldn’t mingle with us.’ I always heard that same words.” A shed of tears streamed down the boy’s cheek as he retelling his dream.

Satan couldn’t take the heart-breaking sight. He brushed away the tears from the boy’s cheek gently with his finger; trying not to startle the boy. When he realized the worried look on Satan’s face, the boy quickly added, “umm sorry, please don’t worry about my silly dream. This is something I usually get when I feel down and sick.” The boy said. He tried to lighten up the mood and put up a smile.

But Satan won’t be fooled by something like that. “No, you shouldn’t say sorry. And about dreams, someone I know, well, my brother, once said that dreams are the manifestation of our subconscious mind. They are often influenced by our experiences and they reflect what we really feel about it and what we really want from it. So I wouldn’t think your dream as a silly one and you too, shouldn’t think of it as silly.” Satan held the boy’s hand in his. He put on a serious expression, but his touch was calming. The boy could feel the warmth from Satan’s touch and words. “You mentioned that you only got this dream when you feel down and sick. Care to tell me what happened? What triggered your dream?” Satan asked.

“Umm…so yesterday when I was strolling around with missy to take fresh air outside, there were some neighbors who shooed us away. They didn’t want us to get any closer to their house and said something about being ‘vile outcast or a ragtag bunch of misfit’. I don’t really understand what they meant, but missy wouldn’t explain it to me and she looked sad. So I think that must be something bad.” The boy was fiddling with his fingers as he told Satan what happened. Satan felt the anger inside him instantly rising up. He wanted to throw curse words and go hunt the culprit right there and then, but that time, he knew the boy needed him more.

Satan took a deep breath; trying to calm himself before he began to talk. “Listen, I won’t hide anything. I’ll be honest and tell you everything you need to know and hear. You are right. Those huma- I mean people are talking bad about you. BUT, those people are wrong. People who can only oppress the weaker and can’t try to understand the others are the real trash, not you or your missy.”

The boy looked like he was going to cry again. He thought only his missy can try to understand and give him the support he needed. He already gave up on his wish to be accepted by other people, but he knew deep down he still yearns to be accepted and recognized. And here he found another person who can understand and support him.

Seeing the boy started to cry again, Satan gave the boy a hug and patted his back. “I may only know you just recently and I may regard you as cheeky brat the first time I met you. But after knowing more about you I think you worth more than you ever think, more than other people think. Wait, scratch that. You are more worthy than those people who can’t see your worth. Those people have no place to decide your worth because you are the only one who can decide your worth. So, for now, you shouldn’t worry about being liked or not. Those who see you as you are and appreciate you will still like you and grow together with you. That means if you are doing something right they will support you and if you are doing something wrong they will help you to correct your way. You have your missy and Bobby that can support and help you. And now you also have uh…me at your side.” Satan said the last words with faint blush dusted on his cheeks.

“Ahem, do you understand it now, Vian?” Satan released Vian from his hug. Vian was moved by what Satan said so he eagerly nodded his head, he felt better after hearing that.

“Good.” Satan smiled. Satisfied with Vian’s reaction. He then ruffled Vian’s hair playfully until the Vian feels irritated. “Ughh…stop it!” Vian swatted Satan’s hand from his hand. Satan didn’t take Vian’s act as offensive at all. In fact, he was pleased. “There you go. I like it more when you show that fiery spirit. Remember, you don’t have to worry too much. You won’t know what the future has in store for you. I’m pretty sure you’ll find your own place to be happy and when you do find it remember your hard time as a lesson. That way you won’t fall into the same level as those trash people.” Satan smiled again, but that time it was a genuine smile.

His smile then shifted into a low key malicious one. “And if anyone dares to talk or do something awful to you, just tell me. I’ll make it certain that I will pay them a visit and give them a ‘lecture’ or two.”

Vian, who didn’t really understand the hidden meaning behind Satan’s choice of word with ‘lecture’ could only agree. “Um, okay! Pinky promise!” Vian said. He showed his pinky finger to Satan.

Satan was a bit confused at first, but then the boy showed Satan how it’s done. A new warm feeling began to spring inside Satan. It was different from the usual hot boiling sensation he felt whenever he is angry. This new feeling was very pleasant for Satan. “Ahahaha, you are really something aren’t you” Satan laughed. At that moment Satan had decided that keeping Vian’s life as a worthy one is something he can do. Meanwhile, Vian only tilted his head. Confused by what Satan meant or why Satan laughed.

“It’s a bit too late to ask, but umm since when you were here?” Vian asked Satan. He just realized his missy is not with him. “Oh, your missy is out to buy things and ask me to stay with you while she’s out.” Satan explained everything that happened before.

“Brat, do you want to hear some interesting stories?” Satan suddenly wanted to tell some stories. Satan was thinking about telling stories from some books he had read before, but maybe he can also use his brothers’ shenanigans as a bad example.

“Hey, stop calling me that, or do you want me to call you with weird names again?” Vian pouted. “Ahahah, sorry that name kinda stick with you. And actually, I don’t care anymore if you call me with anything weird. I know you don’t really mean it.” Satan said jokingly, but he really didn’t mind it since the boy is special to him now.

“Sorry, I’m late. Oh, you’re awake already Vian? Thank you for your help, Mr. Sam.” The woman said when she returned home. She noticed the cheerful look on Vian’s face and that was the first time he ever showed such look in front of someone else other than her and that also made her happy. “Missy, missy, come join us! Yello- I mean mister said he wants to tell us some stories.” Vian excitedly called her. They all gathered and enjoyed their precious moment.

END

Thank you to the individual who i can not name, for submitting this good read. 

To anyone who reads this, and is inspired to write, you too can submit to this blog if you wish to be Anonymous. It doesnt just have to be about Satan, it could be about anything.

Thank you x - Ty the Mun

Satan: .... Please kittens do submit, we enjoy reading all stories you write to us.

#anonymous #fanfic #inspired by true events #satan loves to read #mun too loves to read #we are here to use our blog to showcase your work as well #one love #story time #orphans #worthy life #relatable #obey me! #obey me! satan #obey me! shall we date?

[bamby0304]

Touched by an Angel

Summary: There’s nothing ‘normal’ about being loved by an angel.

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

A/N: Thank you @dean-winchesters-bacon for looking the fic over!!

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Fluff.

Bamby

Angels don’t feel like humans. They don’t experience things ‘normally’. Castiel is no different, but he is different.

Just like people, angels are individuals. Sure, it takes awhile to break through a millennia of walls intended to cage them in their role as an angel of the Lord, but after you chip away at them, you can find something beautiful.

Castiel, is beautiful. You met him when he was beginning to blossom and become his own self, and you fell in love in an instant. Not with his physique, but with him. The angel. The spirit. The essence of him.

He was curious, careful, and kind. He did his best to understand everything the Winchesters showed him. His intentions were pure, even when his actions were not. After breaking down his walls to reveal the true him, it was honestly surprising to see how human angels could be.

But angels do not feel like humans.

When Castiel caught you watching him for the millionth time, he confronted you. There was nothing malicious in the way he’d asked what you were doing. He’d simply been curious and confused.

Dean had beat you to the punch before you could scramble an excuse together.

“She likes you, Cas. The girl has a crush.”

The mortification you felt was astronomical. You’d honestly wanted the Earth to open right up, and swallow you whole.

Cas being Cas, he had no idea what that meant, and that only amused Dean further. Instead of explaining things out right, Dean then spent months teasing you as he gradually hinted at the meaning. Eventually, Castiel caught on.

You’d expected him to shut you down. You expected a speech on how it was forbidden for angels to fraternise with humans in an romantic or physical way. With the expectations of nothing good looming over your shoulders, you’d dashed out of the room before Dean could embarrass you more, or Castiel could break your heart.

That night, the angel had come to visit you. That night, the world did open up… but it did not swallow you whole.

“I like you, too… I just do not understand it. Your presence makes me happy, I enjoy your company… more than I enjoy Dean’s,” he’d admitted. “But I am not human, Y/N. I do not feel the way you do. I feel the way I do.”

From that night on, Castiel and you grew closer. He visited you more than he visited the brothers. He began to walk closer to you. While away on his own missions, he would check up on you regularly through messages and calls.

Angels don’t feel like humans, but they still feel… and Castiel had fallen in love with you.

…

Sitting in the library, nose buried in a book, you felt a familiar tingle run down your spin before a warmth spread through you. A smile tugged on your lips as you looked up, turning your attention to the curved staircase.

Dean, who was sitting across from you drinking a beer while fiddling with his phone, looked up. His brows furrowed in slight confusion before he heard the bunker door creak open, followed by footsteps descending down the stairs. Turning to the war room, he watched as Castiel walked down the stairs.

Castiel’s eyes were on you as a sweet smile curved the corners of his lips. “Hello, Y/N.”

Getting up, you met him by the steps of the library. He stayed one below you as you reached for his hands, squeezing them in yours.

“How long were you gone this time?” Dean started, leaning back in his chair and lifting his feet up onto the table. “Three weeks? You two must be dying for some alone time.” He grinned.

“I have missed you,” Castiel admitted, gazing at you.

To most people, he would simply look happy, if that. But you knew him. You understood how intense his feelings were, even though they weren’t expressed as such. Angels weren’t physical, they were spiritual beings, which meant they had a hard time showing their feelings.

Dean wolf whistled, before chuckling to himself. “Don’t let me keep you two. Go take care of your girl, Cas.”

His words caused Castiel to frown, suddenly confused and concerned. “Are you unwell?” he asked you, very serious and very worried. “You did not tell me when I called you earlier this morning.”

“I’m fine, Cas,” you assured him.

“But Dean just suggested I take care of you. What else could he mean?”

Dean’s feet dropped onto the ground heavily. “Wait…” Looking over your shoulder, you watched as his eyes darted from you, to Castiel, and then back. “He’s joking right? He’s just playing dumb… right?”

After almost a year of dating Castiel, you’d managed to avoid this conversation. You’d managed to keep the workings of your relationship to yourselves. But the constant close proximity with the Winchesters meant they were bound to pick up on the strangeness of what you and the angel had.

“Dean.” Sighing, you turned to face him, keeping one of Castiel’s hand in your grip. “He’s an angel.”

“And? You’re human. Come on, you know how it works, and where things go. You must’ve shown him the ropes by now.” When you didn’t respond, his jaw dropped. “Seriously?”

“Hey, Cas.” Sam, of course, chose that moment to jog into the room, moving to take a seat at the table. He looked from you and Castiel, to Dean. “What’s going on?”

“I’m pretty sure I just found out Y/N and Cas haven’t… you know…” Dean lifted his hands in front of himself and slapped them together like a drunk seal.

Sam raised an eyebrow at his brother. “Danced?”

“No!” Dean rolled his eyes at his brother. “How’d you get dancing out of this?” He repeated the clapping.

“What else is that supposed to be?”

“Sex!” Dean declared.

Eyes suddenly wide, Sam’s head spun in your direction. “But… you guys have been together for, what? Ten, eleven months?”

“Eleven months, two weeks, three days, nine hours, and forty-four minutes,” Castiel noted precisely, making you chuckle lightly. “What does that have to do with me taking care of Y/N? And why are you talking about sex?”

“Because you’ve been with Y/N for eleven months, two weeks, three days, nine hours, and forty-four minutes, and you haven’t done it yet. That’s just not normal,” Dean explained.

“Castiel isn’t normal,” you countered. “He’s an angel. This isn’t even his body. He doesn’t have a body. He doesn’t have physical needs.”

“But you do,” Sam started. “You’re human. You have needs, hungers. It’s basic instinct.”

“Not for everyone. I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but not everything is about sex. Just because I love Castiel, doesn’t mean I have to want to rip his clothes off. Yes, I am attracted to him, but it is about so much more than his body.”

“So you’re telling us that you don’t need sex?” Dean was clearly skeptical.

You shrugged. “I can get myself off all on my own. I don’t need someone else to do it for me.”

“And you don’t feel anything physical towards Y/N?” Sam asked. The tone of his voice made it clear he was now trying to understand, rather than poke the subject.

Castiel looked down at you, giving your hand a squeeze as he searched himself for this feeling the brothers seemed to think was so important. “I feel deeply for her… what more is there to feel?”

His answered made your heart swell.

“Castiel isn’t human, and I had to learn what it meant to be with someone who isn’t like me. It’s different. We’ve been together for eleven months, two weeks, three days, nine hours, and however many minutes, you don’t think I didn’t question the fact we hadn’t had sex? You didn’t think I thought it was because he just didn’t want it with me?” Castiel stepped up behind you, taking your hand as you went on, “I don’t feel the need to ask him to give me something that he’s not into. I don’t need him for that. I’m a hunter, I’ve learned how to please myself perfectly. But I still want to be with him. I’m not gonna give up what we have because of sex. How shallow would I be if I did something like that?”

Staring at the screen for a moment longer, Dean then pulled back to look up at you. “So… you two are in a relationship, and love each other, without getting naked?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

Leaning back into Castiel, you smiled and nodded. “Yes.” You looked up at your blue eyed angel. “Very.”

“Okay.” Dean nodded sharply, leaning back in his chair again.

“Okay?”

He shrugged at you. “I’m not gonna pretend I understand it, but I’m not gonna judge you guys. You’re both happy, you’re both my friends, you’re both comfortable with whatever the hell you’ve got going on. So, yeah, okay.”

Your smile grew as you looked from Sam and Dean, seeing the acceptance in their eyes. Considering they were the closest thing to family that you had, it meant a lot to know they weren’t going to judge what you and Castiel had.

“Okay then.” Tugging on Castiel’s hand, you began to lead him out of the library. “We’ll see you guys, later.”

“Where are you going?” Dean called.

“To my room,” you answered. “For alone time.”

“But you just said-” Before Dean could finish, you and Castiel had already disappeared down into the hallway that led to your room.

Once in your room, you closed your door and turned to the angel, smiling brightly. “I really missed you.”

Stepping closer, he raised his hand to caress your cheek. “I missed you.”

The brush of his lips against yours was light, but warm.

It had been weird for Castiel, at first. He really didn’t feel any need for anything physical, but just like the scenario you’d explained earlier, he got joy out of making you feel nice.

Sex really wasn’t something you thought to explore, but there were other experiences, other things, you and Cas enjoyed.

“Can I touch you, now?” he asked, barely pulling away from you.

Leaning in closer to him, you nodded. “Yes.”

It was both cool, and warm. You shuddered at the feel of his grace gliding along your skin delicately. It was like invisible tendrils were stroking you tenderly, carefully, lovingly. It made you feel light, like you were floating in the ocean, drifting off peacefully.

There was nothing sexual about the experience. It went further than that.

Castiel had once explained that touching you with his grace was the only way he could feel you completely. The only way he felt connected to you without the boundaries of his vessel.

“I love you,” he murmured against your lips as the flutter of his grace continued to surround you.

Angels don’t feel like humans, but they still feel.

Bamby

#castiel fanfiction #castiel fic #castiel x reader #castiel x you #castiel x y/n #touched by an angel

[minicoopdetat]

Hey is that [GREGG SULKIN]? No, that’s just [AUGUST COOPER]. They’re [TWENTY-THREE], and have spent [THREE MONTHS] in Dayton. I hear that they’re kind of [OPTIMISTIC], but also [OBNOXIOUS]. Did you hear their vices are [PARTYING & SEXTING]? Can’t wait to see [HE/HIM] at the next party! 

full name: august levi cooper 

nickname: cooper. mini coop. coop de tat

age: twenty-three

date of birth: april 2

place of birth: dayton, ca

zodiac: aries

gender: cis-male

nationality: american

sexual orientation: heterosexual

romantic orientation: heteromantic

relationship status: single *

PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES.

height: 5’10

weight: 166 lbs

hair color: brunette

eye color: hazel

need glasses/contacts? yes

tattoos: he has seven ‘dragon balls’ in various places ( 1:inner wrist, 2: inner wrist, 3: shoulder blade, 4: hip , 5: behind his ear, 6: back of neck 7:ass); nightwing symbol (ankle); squirtle squad shades ( coming soon )

distinguishing marks: scar on his right leg from crashing his moped 

BACKGROUND INFORMATION.

hometown: salinas, ca

current residence: dayton, ca

past residences: salinas, ca

living arrangement: family home; phaedra’s old place

spoken languages: english, japanese, vulgar words in various languages 

financial status: loaded by proxy

education level: high school, college ( BA biological science )

occupation: vet tech

FAMILIAL INFORMATION.

father: maxwell cooper

mother: elizabeth cooper

siblings: maxwell cooper jr (36), summer cooper (34; heartborn), dawn cooper (32), buzz cooper (30; heartborn), willow cooper (28), skye cooper (26; heartborn)

children: none

pets? Satoshi; “foster” dog

other: phaedra cooper; grandmother

PERSONALITY.

positive traits: loyal. optimistic. passionate. outgoing. confident

negative traits: loud. tactless. gullible. dramatic. reckless 

likes: nightwing, late nights. martial arts. dbz. music. animals ( all kinds ). parties. soccer. hockey. movies. sex. pokemon. learning new things. tarot. philosophy. sunny days. tiger king ( joe exotic ). social media. tik tok. family gatherings. sexting. 

dislikes: waiting. twitter. strategy games. opera. reading. bullies. people who go out of their way to make someone else feel stupid. injustice ( the video game...and the other thing he guesses ). seeing other people treated like shit. sad sacks. clutter. messy landscaping. carol fucking baskin. animal abuse. 

quirks: knows karate and aikido. Has a 3rd degree black belt and used to teach in college. owns and drives a moped. loves to record himself ( mtv cribs style ). is really great with kids. surprisingly organized, his place is pretty spotless. doesnt wear shoes unless absolutely necessary. has a skin care regiment. 

moral alignment: neutral good

THE RUN DOWN.

CHILDHOOD; 

Cooper was born August Levi Cooper to Elizabeth and Maxwell Cooper on April 2nd twenty-three years ago in Salinas, CA.

His siblings like to refer to him as the family’s April fools surprise.

One reason being is he was very much an accident. The plan was always 3 biological and 3 adopted children. A large loving family blended with those born from blood and those from the heart.

While Cooper was unexpected, he never felt it growing up. A family consisting of nine different personalities is bound to have disputes and there have been a lot over the years, but they’ve always loved each other deeply. Family was important, a top priority always, and Coop grew up surrounded by love.

As a kid, he was always going a mile a minute. Always jabbering on, always into something. His mother, Elizabeth, never seemed to mind. If anything she embraced it using a somewhat free range approach to raising her children. She let them do as they pleased as long as they practiced reflection and responsibility after. The consequences were theirs whatever decisions were made.

So if he wanted to take apart the toaster, fine. He had to put it back together. If not? He would be working to pay for a new one. Want to stay up all night watching anime? Fine. If he fell asleep and failed his quiz the next day? The tv was gone.

It was a process for Cooper, who multiple teachers recommended that he take some form of medication for his outbursts and inability to follow directions without being distracted or derailing the entire class. His mother refused, but she did begin to focus on helping him regulate and make better choices.

Did it work? Eh. But he managed to scrape by.

But where he lacked impulse control, Cooper made up in kindness. He always the first to volunteer to help, whether it involved the teacher or another student. He’d give away  his lunch money to someone he thought needed it or sit with the kids that seemed alone, talking their heads off about the latest thing he saw on late night tv. 

He was the kind of kid you dreaded and loved all at once and if you ask him, he’ll tell you his childhood was a wonderful thing.

Some highlights include, starting Karate at age 5. Martial arts was one, if not the only way, to really get Cooper to slow down and focus. It was and still is a passion for him. He earned his black belt by age 9, his second degree by 11, and his 3rd by 14, making him one of the youngest in the county to have a 3rd degree blackbelt.

Began learning Japanese at age seven. It started as self teaching, but eventually his parents brought in a tutor. 

ADOLESCENCE; 

As he hit his preteen years, Cooper began to play sports. Soccer was his poison of choice and he was good...but some of the other kids found him to be odd. He was the youngest of seven, so there were always jokes made about the rag tag crew or about how he spent more time talking about japanese cartoons, comics and superheroes than he did the sport or the usual topics. Small, he was picked at, but Cooper? He never really noticed.

He was the butt end of jokes, but always the first to laugh. He was confident, even then, that the things his ‘friends’ did were often in good fun and never to take advantage of him or be malicious. Even when his trips to the principal's office became more frequent and his detentions began to pile up, he insisted things were fine. He was loyal and they just had different ways of showing their friendship to him.

He was sixteen when a new kid moved to town and his friends turned their attention to him. Coop thought they were looking to welcome him into the fold, he was a bit quiet, always reading, kinda awkward, but the more time they spent with him, the more Cooper started to notice the shit way they were treating him. The jokes they had used on Cooper, they were funny to him, but this kid? Not so much. It didn’t take long before he began to see their relationship with this kid and their relationship with him? They weren’t harmless and in one very explosive day, Cooper not only stood up for the kid, but may have broken his best friend’s jaw.

He was ousted from the soccer team. Fine. He needed new friends. Fine. He had one and that was fine with him. He took it all in stride. Stayed confident and though he had a nasty mark on his record, his parents were proud he finally stood up for himself and someone else. In the end, his dad able to make it go away, but still.

That summer, on a mission to be his own man and less of a sheep, he began frequenting the local game shop. He’d play in the pokemon league, try out various boardgames and chill. It became a home away from home and where he met Callum ‘Goodie’ Goodrich, the closest person to a little brother he’s ever had. 

They started as rivals, which some might consider odd considering the age difference, but Coop respected the kid and his skill. It was never an angry or aggressive thing. Goodie had a sense of humor and Coop was too easy going and before long they were exchanging tips and just hanging out for the sake of hanging out.

When things began to get rough for Goodie, Cooper didn’t ask. It wasn’t his business, but he began to notice a change...so he began inviting Goodie home for dinners, hang out sessions, etc. His family didn’t mind, if anything they enjoyed having him around and soon Goodie became an honorary Cooper.

In the three years that followed, Cooper juggled a lot of different things. He began helping at his dojo as well as the local animal shelter and his partying streak started up.

At eighteen, he was granted access to the ‘family ranch’, his parents attempting to let their children get whatever they needed out of their system. Rather than sneak around and drink or smoke or fuck, the ranch was available. It was a risk, especially for his father, a judge, but as loving and great as his family was? Their moral code wasn’t quite in line with the rest of society. His father had no qualms as long as they had some common sense. Were there hiccups? Yes. But they managed. There were six before him, so by the time Cooper came around, they knew what guidelines to lay down.

It was wild year, definitely one of the most fun he’d ever had. His grades though? They suffered. School wasn’t exactly top priority and to him, that was fine. Why did a bunch of numbers have to dictate his life?

It wasn’t until he decided he wanted to help animals for a living did he realize good grades were probably a good thing. But by then it was too late to get in anywhere prestigious. Which was fine. He made his bed and he was quick to figure something else out.

He decided on taking a gap year so he doubled down on volunteering and started learning aikido while continuing his partying and hanging with Goodie.

Or at least until he disappeared. One day he just...stopped coming in. Cooper figured he was sick or just rough off, but when he couldn’t get in touch with him, he genuinely began to worry. He even went as far to check the news...and saw the headline. It hit him hard and his dad, despite being in the court system, had no info. That whole summer, he had to just, keep checking out the shop and hope he’d run into him. But as the days went on, it became clear his friend was gone… hopefully to some situation that was much better.

Cooper finished up the summer and went off to school the next August.

TWENTIES; 

Not that he went far. He spent four years at a college between his home town and Dayton, CA. Phaedra, his grandmother, and his grandfather helped him pay for his schooling so he began visiting Dayton during the summer. He spent most of it in Salinas but he’d spend a few weeks in Dayton.

His time in Dayton was mostly spent helping Phaedra or working at the local shelter. But by the time he hit 21, partying was added to that roster.

One bachelor’s degree and a certificate later and here he is. Vet school is something he’s thought about but his grandfather passed away last year and Phaedra needed some assistance with the house. 

So while she’s off jet setting to ease the pain, Cooper’s taking responsibility for the upkeep of her Dayton home. He has no clue about home repair, but he’s more than happy to squat, make sure she’s not robbed and start work in a town that’s always kept him hype.

#::|| bio ||:: #::|| headcanon ||:: #reallife.intro

[vinylackles]

14x18 destiel coda: reflexes

I am upsetti spaghetti... so here u go. CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR 14x18!!!

word count: 1.9k

Sam’s reaction was a reflex. He knew Dean better than anyone, and he knew how he got when he was upset. He lashed out, he yelled, he broke things, broke people. So when Cas felt him put a hand out, felt it hit his chest and stop him from crossing in front of the flames, he wasn’t angry. He knew Sam was just trying to protect him, like he always did. 

But Cas didn’t need protecting. Not from this. Not from Dean.

So he raised a hand, gently placing it over Sam’s. He squeezed Sam’s fingers slightly, a silent reassurance. Sam squeezed back, like a child might when they were uncertain, or scared. It pained Cas a bit to let him go, but he knew that Sam was processing. And he also knew that Dean was not. So he let go of Sam and moved in front of him, the heat from the flames of the pyre soaking through his coat as he started towards Dean.

The hunter’s gaze didn’t waver from the flames licking at the wood, though Cas knew he could see him approach. Dean’s body was set, his feet planted in a bit of a fighting position. It was subconscious, Cas was sure. He was preparing for battle - a battle against himself, and his greatest enemy. His grief. The angel had seen this progression before, when Dean experienced loss. First came the anger, then came what he called the shut down. No one was allowed in to help, and nothing was allowed out. Emotional expression was not a Winchester expertise after all. 

Then came vengeance. Cas tried not to think about it, think about how he knew Dean was already thinking of 10,000 ways to kill Jack, and that he could do any of them if he really wanted to. He shook the thoughts from his mind, moving to stand beside Dean.

He tested it, reached out to let his fingers brush against Dean’s, as they usually did before Dean’s scarred hand wrapped around his own and held it. The feeling of their skin together was familiar. They did this in the impala, one of Dean’s hands always resting on the empty leather between them, a silent offering. They did this in the middle of the night, after a nightmare. When Dean’s breathing had settled, and he’d moved from clinging to Cas back to his more comfortable sleeping position (on his tummy, face buried in a pillow), he’d always leave one hand intertwined with his lover’s. A reminder, that Cas was there, and if Cas was there that meant he was safe. They did this in diners, when they would roll through a more liberal town where two men holding hands didn’t turn so many heads - those towns were Cas’ favorite. They’d done this only a few weeks prior, watching the bodies of the slain hunters burn on pyres just like this one.

Caught in his memories, it took him a moment to process Dean’s movement. Their fingers had grazed, and Cas had grabbed, but all he caught was a finger. He released it as Dean jerked his hand away, stuffing it quickly into his jacket pocket.

That was something they never did.

Cas felt eyes on him and looked over to see Sam, a look of I told you so written on his face. It wasn’t malevolent; it was only filled with sadness. Dean had begun his shut down, so Cas took a deep breath and moved one step to the right, his dress shoes kicking up a bit of the ash that was raining down around them.

He didn’t reach for Dean’s hand again, though his fingers tingled with want. Instead, he moved just close enough to let his shoulder press up against Dean’s. A reminder that he was there, he would always be there. He assumed it was against his will when he felt the hunter relax, albeit slightly, against him. A reflex; his body remembering who Cas was, even if Dean didn’t want it to. 

So they stood there in silence, shoulder to shoulder, watching as the rest of Mary’s remains burned. The flames were still flickering when the sun began to set. Sam had been crying, a mixture of his grief and the ash that had taken over the air. He’d coughed through it, unwilling to leave his brother’s side.

Dean hadn’t showed a single sign of discomfort. Nothing. He was being strong, strong for his mother, like he always had been. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t waver. Not now. 

When the sky had given way to black, Dean had been the first to turn away from the embers. The day was done. There was nothing more they could do. Sam jumped when Dean touched his shoulder, turning him away from the pyre, guiding his baby brother back to the car, back home. Cas followed silently, sliding into the passenger seat without a word as the impala’s engine roared to life and Dean drove her, under the speed limit for once, back to the bunker. The car was silent besides the sniffles that Sam was trying to hide. 

Silence was one of the first lines of Winchester defense; Cas had learned that a long time ago. So he was unsurprised when they remained silent on the way into the bunker, and that they parted ways with no words shared. Cas knew where he would find Sam later when he checked on him. He’d been on his bed, with the pictures from his memory box either on the duvet or on the nightstand beside him. And he knew where he would find Dean as well - at the bottom of a bottle. 

He couldn’t let him do that, not tonight. He couldn’t let him shut it out. It would be too hard on him in the morning, when he had that one moment of thinking it was all some drunken dream. So when he saw Dean disappear down the hallway to their room, he followed him.

He didn’t say anything until the door shut behind them.

“Get out Cas.” His voice was scraggly, and Cas wasn’t sure if it was from the ash or from the tears he was holding back. 

“No.” His tone was neutral, but Dean still fumed back at him. Cas braced. 

“I’m not having this conversation right now. I’m not talking about it, I’m not gonna sit here and cry on your fucking shoulder, or whatever the hell it is you want from me. It’s not happening. Now get. Out.” 

He knew that anything he said would be twisted, turned back against him in a malicious way, so he stayed silent, waiting. 

“What the hell do you want from me?!” Dean yelled, anger bubbling. He saw the step, Dean’s tell, and he set his feet. 

One thing Dean loved about having an angel boyfriend was the fact that he was so solid. Cas could use his grace to make himself as light as a feather, but he could also use it to make himself sturdy, strong enough to hold Dean up, to hold Dean together, to become a ton of solid stone.

So when Dean strode across the room and shoved at Cas’ shoulders, he didn’t budge. Well, he flinched. But that was for two reasons. One, because no matter how much he loved him, no matter how much he trusted him, Dean Winchester coming at you angry was always something to be afraid of. He could put Cas down in a heartbeat if he wanted. But that was the other reason he flinched too. Because Dean’s shove wasn’t as hard as it could have been, as hard as it should have been. Even in his darkest time, his darkest moments, Dean never really wanted to hurt Cas. And that was enough. 

“I don’t want anything from you Dean,” said Cas, voice steady. “I just want you to let me be here with you.”

“I don’t want you here!” Dean yelled, roaring anger raising his voice. He knew Sam could hear it echoing in the bunker halls. 

“I know. But I love you, so I’m going to stay,” Cas said quietly, the pain on his lover’s face making his heart break. Dean was falling apart.

He roared again, and Cas couldn’t make out the words as the man lunged for him. He held his ground, feeling Dean’s fists beat against his chest, his shoulders. They would leave no bruises on him.

He tried to shove past, to get out of the room, but Cas caught him, finally shifting, pulling him into his arms. Dean fought it for a moment, but his yells turned to sobs that turned to whimpers as he collapsed, letting Cas hold all his weight as he lulled against his shoulder.

“She’s gone. I lost her. Again.” His voice was small. A boy’s. 

“I know honey. I know.”

The sobs continued, ragged ones that sounding like they were being pulled out with hooks. When Dean tried to compose himself enough to speak, Cas had to cup his face, run his thumbs along his freckled cheekbones to calm him enough to get a breath in.

“Stay. Please. I’m sorry for what I said.” Dean was pleading, and only then did Cas remember his words from earlier. You’re dead to me. They seemed like a distant memory.

“You were already forgiven. I love you. It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.” Cas would repeat that mantra forever if it always brought the look of relief to Dean’s face that followed. 

Dean only nodded, throat thick with tears. Cas kissed his temple, holding him still. He only moved when Dean’s knees started to shake, the exhaustion setting in. 

“Let’s get you to bed.”

Panic returned to Dean’s eyes, only for a moment. As Cas knew, nights after a death were always terrible for Dean. The nightmares were vicious, and inevitable. Dean looked so vulnerable, and it was so rare that Cas found it somewhat beautiful, even in the pain it caused him. 

“I’ll be right beside you. I’ll keep them away.” And he didn’t care how much grace it took, he would stay up all night with a finger pressed to Dean’s temple, bringing him peaceful dreams. 

After they got stripped down to boxers, never wavering more than a few inches from each other, they climbed into bed. Dean landed on top of Cas, pressing his body to him every where he could, physical reassurance trying to chase out his fears. 

“I love you” were the only words Cas could say, even though he knew they weren’t enough. Dean reached around, searching the sheets until he found Cas’ hand, holding it tightly in his own, anchoring himself as the toll of the day took over. 

And as he slept, Cas knew what he would show him. He wouldn’t create anything new - no, Dean had had enough change for the day. Instead, he would show him a memory, something he’d seen just the day before.

Mary Winchester’s heaven. He’d only seen it for a moment, but it had been enough. There had been a dinner table in the middle of the room, a grand meal set out. At one head was Sam, the other Jack, both of them laughing and carefree. Mary sat next to John on one side, beaming over their family.

And across from them, with wide smiles, were Cas and Dean, hands intertwined under the table.

#wow im uh #UPSET #but here u go #hope you like it #:) #destiel coda #coda 14x18 #destiel #supernatural #spn coda #supernatural coda #my writing #aintnonetwork

[vvivacious101]

Long Live The Queen

Okay, I have now watched this episode twice more and I have so many more thoughts.

On the Second Watch:

1. Maybe I'm not thinking this whole Dean and Cas thing, in Purgatory, through. They have to get a Leviathan Blossom, do they even know what it is? I think not, which indirectly means we are definitely going to be catching up with someone in the next episode. It could be a new character but given that this is the last season I am more inclined with the former view.

Also, there is something else in Purgatory that hates both Cas and Dean's guts, Leviathans which would make it extra special if Dick Roman makes it back on the show which is unlikely because I believe he is dead dead. But still cool thought. Anyhow, I can't wait for thirty-one flavours of bottom dwelling nasties.

2. I can't imagine I forgot to mention Lilith makes a reappearance on the show and Michael just dusts her, like how could we ever forgot how powerful archangels are. But the short second life of Lilith means that ie one player off the chess board.

3. This entire episode I couldn't shake the feeling that Eileen was going to die but somehow I still managed to not connect it with Chuck. I fear for Eileen's life. Fingers crossed. I hope I'm not right.

4. Do Sam and Dean have the power of God seems to be a subtly veiled question? After all what will it take to take down God.

5. I am still loving Donatello's performance in this one. He is so good.

What is it with you people? Can't anything you do be easy?

Donatello literally runs out of the bunker. God, was he always this funny. This guy is so good!!!

6. Can we also talk about the fact that team free will gets trounced by Demons who haven't even been scary since season 6.

Like Dean's “anyone of us winning” is a good indication of how increasingly Sam and Dean find themselves on the wrong sides of fight. In fact they seem to be consistently loosing on that front especially when they are going up against supernatural creatures. The one exception being Dean vs the MOTW last week which was an off screen battle but since Dean comes out of it uninjured it probably went really well considering Dean was tied up and had just managed to get loose when the creature set itself free. They lost against the witches in Golden Time and Eileen was the one who saved them that time. In Proverbs 17:3 they only managed to survive because Andy decided to kill his brother and himself. In Atomic Monsters there was no fight. There seems to be a trend here were fights seem to be turning uglier than usual for Sam and Dean even if it's just demons.

7. MVP of this episode is Donatello hands down.

8. Castiel and Michael are very interesting. So while rewatching season 1 I had this realisation that Sam leaving hurt Dean more than John purely because in a way the most consistent parental figure in Sam's life has been Dean. This dynamic can be extrapolated to Cas and Michael while Castiel's real father is God the most consistent fatherly figure that he has followed is Michael. I mean they weren't following God's orders in Season 4, they were following Michael's but this doesn't quite fit because Cas and Michael are not at all close. Yet he still answers Cas' prayer it has been a long time since he has been able to answer anybody's prayer but he chooses to answer Cas' which begs the question why? Why did Michael choose to answer the angel who he only seems to remember as the being who doomed him? Which brings the question that maybe Michael isn't so bad he has always had good intentions and they definitely paved his way to Hell but still the intent has never been purely malicious unlike AU Michael this one still hasn't lost his faith or maybe he just seems to have the right guide in Adam, who is ready to forgive Sam and Dean.

9. Sue Barrish is an interesting character especially as Chuck is basically moonlighting as her. I like how he gets Eileen to participate with the key words ‘do you have to ask for permission’ because prior to that part Eileen is maybe  thinking it’s not the right time considering they have a walking talking WMD in the bunker but that gets to her. Chuck at his manipulating best. Then he throws the cherry on top.

How did I not notice this the first time? Eileen sees that Sue is alright and she says “Thank God” which is exactly when Chuck breaks cover as Sue to come back with “Anytime”.

10. This is seriously not right. How can Michael open a rift between the Earth and Purgatory while the handcuffs still on. Exactly what do the handcuffs prevent, only him flying out, then he could just kill everyone, get the key and get out like that has got to be a major flaw right? Right?

I mean shaking the bunker I get he is distraught emotions seem to make them stronger like when Jack gets super jacked when he breaks out of the box at the end of Season 14 because he feels betrayed and he gets angry though how he can get angry without a soul is still subject to debate. But opening rifts that has got to be super specific and powerful magic which Michael can still perform with the handcuffs on, like how powerful is this guy and what does putting him in handcuffs truly achieve.

11. I loved how they didn't have Ruth's name in the beginning so that her return would be a total surprise because at times the actors names can give away plot points because I remember seeing Samantha's name in the beginning seasons and freaking out every time because I knew that met Sam and Dean were up for a tumultuous time.

12. So generally the mid season finale is the point where the characters are at there lowest like they make a gamble to defeat the big bad and it fails, like in Season 5 where the mideseaon finale is literally title “Abandon All Hope...” But this episode doesn't do that. Infact it isn't self contained at all from the ending we can tell that it is like the first three episodes which were like a self contained little arc but even they had endings. This episode really doesn't its got a big TBC at the end that they just forgot to put there. So they are not at there lowest which should mean that they have either already been there or this time the low point is going to come later in the season which is scary because the emotional burden of a low point near the end might kill me but they really seem to be going all out this season. They are going to rip us to shreds.

Then I watched it again:

a) Basically this episode begins with a subliminal message - Chuck always wins.

b) Okay I can't get over the fact that Rowena just tells Cas that no one ever gives you anything you have to take it. 😏

c) Let's talk about Sam and Dean's conversation it's basically a rehash of a similar convo in season 8 except with the roles of Sam and Dean reversed. I feel like I can read more into that but right now I am just cautiously optimistic. Dean also agrees he was in a bad place because of Cas and God and now Cas is back on the job and he atleast feels better. Dean being in a bad place is a loaded statement I'm actually surprised Sam doesn't want to talk more about it especially considering he picked up the earlier tension between Dean and Cas but that might just be about him respecting Dean's boundaries. Also I feel like in this particular conversation Sam feels put on the spot truly reversing their roles from season 8 he tries to say something to that effect but Dean interrupts. Right now I really want to know what's going on with Sam the last good look we had at Sam was in Atomic Monsters and I want another one.

d) Next up is Dean and Cas’ conversation which has to be the only conversation they have ever had where they don't make eye contact like at all. So I was thinking that some of Dean's dialogues could be interpreted as his own as compared to Michael's or maybe at this point he empathizes with him. But Cas repeating Michael's words was so epic.

“Leave. Go out. I want you dead.”

Kind of similar to what Dean said to Cas.

“We didn't bond.”

This episode just keeps on giving. I loved it!

#supernatural season 15 #our father who aren't in heaven #supernatural #spn 15x08 #spn #sam #dean #cas #chuck #lilith #rowena #eileen #donatello #michael #adam #myposts #more thoughts on this episode

[spootiliousrps]

Suspicious Nature Part 3

[Beginning] // [Previous] // [Next]

Dean nodded and followed the Omega, into the small room. He eyes kept on Castiel to ensure he didn’t wake up. “Gabriel is it? Will you do your King a favour and tell me where the Knight Commander’s private quarters are?” Dean asked, looking down upon the small Omega, who barely came up to his chest.

Gabriel shut the door behind them quickly, peering through the key hole to ensure the Alpha that had chased him continued on, chuckling to himself. It wasnt until Dean spoke that Gabriel's attention shifted, eyeing both him and Cas. "Honestly I rather do Cassie, here the solid and avoid you going anywhere near his rooms." The Omega replied, no hint of the usual groveling respect that commoners showed the King. "He told me all about you, ya know. Really screwed the pooch on that one, didnt ya Deano." Gabriel commented moving forward to obviously check that his friend was alright.

“Frankly, I don’t care about want you would rather do.” Dean stated. “What I do care about is how a common Omega managed to get into the private area, reserved for soldiers. You aren’t you, clearly. And even if you had managed to slip past all other officials, you contract is terminated immediately. So, take me to the Knight Commander’s room, or I will ensure you live to regret it.” Dean stated, keeping the sleeping Omega in his arms.

Gabriel's brow arched at that though he didnt seem angry or annoyed. "What, like throwing me in prison? From what Cassie told me you've already threatened that once. Besides I dont have a contract to terminate. I'm an Omega the only thing I'm allowed to do in this boring place is laundry and cooking. I'll pass thanks." He pointed out before giving a scoff. "Typical Alpha," He grumbled under his breath as he moved to poke his head out the door and glanced down the hall to make sure no one would see them. "Always throwing weight around... making threats." He huffed to himself before pushing open the door. "Well, come on then." He instructed the King. "I may not be afraid of you but if Cas finds out I did help I'll never hear the end of it."

“First you did break the law. You /should/ be in jail. And it’s not like I don’t have much weight to throw around. I am King. And you have no idea what we’re discussed or planning on doing today, Omega, so if I were you I would keep your trap shut on issues you don’t fully understand.” Dean stated. He walked past Gabriel and through the door, without looking at him.

Gabriel followed after without a moment's hesitation. "First off, I have a name and it's not Omega!" He snapped. "Secondly I havent broken any law that you can prove besides not groveling at you! I live here with Cas." He countered as they entered the small office before hurrying over to produce a key and unlocking the Knight Commander's quarters. The man in question, shifted as Gabriel's voice rose, curling into Dean a bit more allowing a small grumble to escape him.

“If you live with Castiel then there is proof you know his secret. You even admitted to talking about the consequences, /Omega/.” Dean said calmly. He looked down at Castiel in his arms As he moved and raised and eyebrow at the Omega. “I don’t he’s liking your tone of voice.” He stated simply.

Gabriel considered that a moment as pushed open the door, Castiel's heavy scent engulfing them as they entered. "You got me there Deano." He shrugged. "But how do you know Cassie just doesnt like /your/ tone?" He argued childishly moving to pull back the covers on the bed. "Let's just make one thing clear... King or not... you hurt my brother and I'll make you wish you were dead." He warned giving a feral warning growl which was a bit strange coming from such a small omega.

“I know it’s you, Omega, but you were talking when he flinched, you are the one arguing, whilst I am remaining calm, and he flinched towards me and away from you, not the other way around.” Dean explained calmly and softly. He laid the Commander down in his bed, both his and Castiel’s cloaks wrapped around him. “You can tell him whatever you wish, but I will have the guards sign that they didn’t see or hear me be malicious to either of you. The guards under his control.” Dean smiled.

Gabriel’s glare darkened. “I didn’t plan on claiming otherwise but I wasn’t talking about today.” Gabriel pointed out. “Sounds like you have a guilty conscious there Dean-o. Maybe you should get it in check.” The small man growled before kicking off his boots and making a show of him crawling into bed with the Omega. It was obvious he was trying to piss Dean off. A ‘Haha I can be in his bed but you can’t’ grin plastered on his face as he wrapped his arms around the larger Omega.

“I don’t have a guilty conscious, I just don’t trust you.” Dean stated softly. He left the room without another word and headed back to his office. To continue on with his workload.

“The feeling is mutual Asshole!” Gabriel called after him in a harsh whisper before getting a bit more comfortable in case the Alpha decided to come back. He really didn’t see why Cas was taken with the guy though it was obvious every time he spoke of him.

The next day, after not a lot of sleep, Dean sent a letter out to Castiel, asking for him to meet with him at the soonest available opportunity. He continued to work in his office, with a considerable less about of paperwork to get through than the day before. His mind kept reliving the past conversation with Gabriel, surely that hate and disrespect didn’t come from one night’s conversation with Castiel. Was it because he was an Alpha and Gabriel was an Omega, would that hate lessen, if he understood what legislation and laws he is wanting to put in place? Or was it another reason why Gabriel hated Dean.

Castiel slept late into the night, only waking when Gabriel brought in the usual over sized breakfast that Cas only picked at while the smaller Omega devoured the rest. A realization of what had transpired had the Knight Commander flushing with embarrassment, but he didn’t mention it to his brother or anyone else for that matter and as for Gabriel… He didn’t speak a word about the King, too curious to see how it would all pan out. So, Cas ate, washed and changed, still not donning the armor of the Knight Commander which would probably make the men worry but he supposed it was for the best. By the time the letter reached him, the Knight Commander was almost through his rounds. He dismissed his men and made a B line for the King’s office; this time, the Man in Waiting didn’t hesitate to push open the doors and announce his arrival.

“You wished to see me Sire?” Cas asked as he moved around the other man and into the room.

Dean nodded and looked up from the paperwork he was reading. “I thought we could find off that discussion we didn’t have yesterday.” He suggested, offering Castiel the seat he occupied yesterday. “I do hope your brother didn’t make up too many wildly incorrect stories about what happened whilst you slept.” Dean said softly as he dismissed the guard.

Castiel moved to the chair before pausing at the words, brows furrowing. “My brother?” He mumbled before realization his him and he tensed. “Gabriel…” He sighed. “I hadn’t realized the two of you met. However he acted… Whatever he said Sire… I assure you I will have a discussion with him. There is no need for any further worry. I will handle his punishment myself, I give you my word.” He rushed obviously worried that whatever the King planned was very severe and far too harsh.

“Oh no no. I believe that stopping him from annoying the other Alphas should do right.” Dean explained. “But I do have a question about him, if you’ll indulge me?” He asked, “his general... annoyance at me surely doesn’t just stem from your discussion the previous night, so I was curious as to why he acts like that.”

Cas seemed to relax a bit at that, though his brows furrowed as he considered the question. “I couldn’t say, Sire… Gabriel has always been a bit… brash towards Alphas… Unless he was sleeping with them.” He shrugged. “But he’s never been as hostile as if your words imply. Perhaps he is simply being over protective. He /has/ played the role as my Omega for quite some time now.” He shrugged, obviously at a loss for any real answer.  

Dean nodded, believing Castiel. “That’s fine. I understand.” He said softly. “I hope you did sleep well last night though, you did seem very... almost delirious before you fell asleep. Can you remember any of it?” He asked.

Castiel’s flush deepened In his embarrassment. “Some.” He acknowledged. “I apologize immensely for bring so improper, Your Majesty.” He rushed. “I can not believe I feel asleep in the middle of our discussion. It will not happen again I assure you.”

“Oh do not worry, Castiel, I have been tempted to do it before now, myself.” Dean smiled. “Do you remember what we were discussing, or will I need to go over it with you? I just do not wish to have your... knowledge lacking in any areas.” Dean explained softly. His hands resting on the table, where Castiel could see them as he leaned back in his chair.

"Yes of course, Sire." He nodded as he considered it a moment. "We were discussing proper attire and terms used during events and in private when becoming your Royal Aide." He offered simply.

Dean nodded and smiled. “You were so delirious I wondered if you had remembered.” Dean tapped his finger on his desk before laying out the files on the potential new Commanders. “Which ones would you say are the best for the role? I know I have ones that I would say are the best, but I wish for your opinions first.” Dean explained.

Cas gave another nod before stepping forward to glance down at the papers. “I would say that there are really only three that stand out more than the others. “Raphael is a strong soldier, he does very well when it comes to fortification and defensive tactics though his offensive strategies are above average, they still need improvements. I have been tutoring him for some time now and there are some improvements though he has a difficult time making sacrifices for tactical advantage. Then there is Azra’il whose battle tactics are a bit… aggressive but effective. The men respect him and he is loyal. He prefers to fight among his men rather than oversee them. It is not a traditional leadership but it strengths the bond between them and causes him to become more reserved when there is a potential of losing men. His tactics are sound and he is a hard worker. Finally, Zerachiel, my second in command he knows the men and the city backwards and forwards. In a simulated environment his tactics are flawless, he’s quick to come to decisions and is ruthless when solving a problem. It is possible he could make a fine Knight Commander he is young though and has never seen a real battle. I am unsure the seasoned soldiers would follow someone such as that… Not until they see how he faces bloodshed.” Cas explained. “That being said, any man on this list would make a fine replacement, Sire.”

“I was leaning to Zerachiel, but as you said, he’s never seen bloodshed. But I do like Azra’s leading style. It could improve the moral of the men, through the difficult adjustment period.” Dean added. “Though, as you know them to best, I will follow your better judgement between Zerachiel and Azra.”

“If I may, Sire…” Cas offered. “I would suggest promoting them both. Azra’il taking the title of Knight Commander whith Zerachiel as his advisor and second. Zerachiel may not be fond of the idea of remaining second but he would be satisfied with the notion that he still has power over the pieces on the board and can prove to be a heavy counterweight to Azra’il eagerness.” He explained. “It also allows Azra’il to free more time for training with the troops while Zerachiel focuses on the more scholarly aspects of the position; and gives Zerachiel a more aggressive counterpart to push him to earn the respect of his soldiers.” Cas explained.

Dean nodded and smiled. “I’ll have my brother draw up the contract for both men. I knew you would be wise enough to become my Aide. And the Aide you are replacing will be honoured to have such a wise man take up his mantle.” Dean smiled. “I will also have my brother draft up a contract for yourself first, to read and change as you see hit. I don’t believe there’s ever been an Omega Aide before, so some of it may be... uncomfortable or inapplicable to you.” Dean explained.

“I have been viewed as an Alpha for a long time, Sire; there is not much in the way of an Alpha’s role that is ‘uncomfortable’ to me any longer.” He replied before hesitating. “Though… I would like to address my men as soon as possible. Since I am no longer allowed the herbs I’ve been using to suppress my nature I fear that if we wait much longer there could be a few… unsavory issues. I know you are busy, Your Grace, but perhaps you could spare a bit of time this evening?”

“Of course I can.” Dean nodded. “Come by here when you are ready and I shall be waiting to go down with you. I know you feel like you don’t need a chaperone, but I know how Alphas will feel if they find out an Omega has been lying to them. That an Omega was in charge. The situation may become hostile... so I’ll use my presence to keep them from doing anything reckless.” Dean explained.

Cas pursed his lips obviously still not liking the idea, though for a different reason than before. It was his duty to protect the King and now he was the reason the man would be put in a potentially unfavorable situation. He supposed he would just have to station more guards in the King’s entourage. “Of course, Your Majesty.” He acknowledged with a small bow. “Do I have your permission to discuss the promotion with the two men in question? With the confusion that will no doubt be imminent I feel it may be necessary to warn them both of their new responsibilities. I, of course, will not provide any unnecessary information until after the address.” He offered, meaning there was no need for them to know of his status before the others, just that he was stepping down.  

“Of course you may, Castiel. At your addressing this evening, would you like to explain your replacements then or at a later date?” Dean asked, wanting to know the Omega’s thought process of the situations. It may make some angrier, but it’s also better to do it all in one go that twice.” Dean suggested.

“I would agree, Sire. Announcing the promotions would be wise.” He acknowledged. “At the very least it would give the two the authority needed to minimize the chaos.” He offered.

“Yes.” Dean agreed. “That settles it.” He puts the documents neatly away in a cabinet and turns back to Castiel, “is there anything else you would like to ask me? Maybe not as a friend, maybe not as your King, but as an acquaintance. Anything at all?” Dean asked

Castiel hesitated, obviously having something on his mind but not quite knowing how the King would respond. "Yes, Si-" He began before realizing he was using the man's title and stopping himself. "Dean." He corrected averting his gaze and flushing slightly. "A favor... About Gabriel... Please dont hold his behavior against him. It is my fault really for protecting him so thoroughly. He is a good man... who has been through a lot. I'm afraid he simply doesnt know better. I assure that I will ensure this is rectified before my transition to Royal Aide... I would like him to remain by my side if you would allow... As an aid of sorts."

“Castiel, He... threatened me. As the person I am, I didn’t take it seriously, but to him it was serious. I cannot trust him, with... the way he speaks, and behaves. He stole another Alpha’s clothes.” Dean explained. “I-” he shook his head as he thought. “He can still live with you, but he cannot know about the work you are doing. I am sorry, Castiel, but I have to think about the sensitive data you will be handling, I just can’t trust him with it.” He explained softly

Cas straightened looking shocked. "He threatened you?" He growled for once looking the part of an Alpha only briefly before he managed to reign himself in. Gabriel was lucky be was still alive after such treason. "O-of course, Sire. A wise decision in light of your interactions. Perhaps a simple role as a palace servant would be more appropriate? Maybe in the kitchens where he cant cause much trouble. He is quite a skilled Baker. As for the clothes... well there are a few Alphas in the barracks that are in a bit of a prank war with my brother... I assure you it's nothing to worry about. But if you would prefer I can put an end to it."

“That is a wise choice, Castiel. But no, if the pranking is consensual, then I see no reason to halt it.” Dean explained. “Plus if we put him to work in the kitchens, he may slow down on the pranking.” Dean hummed, and tapped his desk, in thought. “May I ask you a question?”

Cas blinked in surprise that the man would even bother with the request. "Of course, your majesty." He shrugged.

“I keep calling you, Castiel, but is there a name you prefer, I noticed your brother called you Cassie a lot. But then he was calling me Deano.” Dean asked. Trying not to let his annoyance creep into his voice. “Is there a name you prefer to be called?” Dean asked softly.

That was an… unusual question. No one had ever really bothered to ask him that question before. “No, Sire.” He admitted honestly. “You may call me whatever you wish. Though… I would prefer it isn’t ‘Cassie’.” He added, nose wrinkling in disgust.

Dean chuckles. “How about I call you Cas?” He asks. “I’ve always had an aversion to long names, unless it’s my brother Sammy.” He smiles. “Just one last question and then you can ask me anything you’d like. Have you given our arrangement for a date any more consideration?”

“That is acceptable, Your Majesty.” Cas offered with a small bow. With the second question however he seemed to pause in consideration. “I have… thought about it… However, to be honest I have been quite busy with the change of command. After the address this evening, however, I suppose I will have plenty of free time.” He offered.

“I understand, Cas. Tonight think about it and get some rest. I’ve asked for the rest of the week off so I won’t get any more paperwork, so until Sunday, I will be teaching you the role of the Royal Aide of the Cavalry, if that is suitable for you.” Dean explained. “And then on Sunday, I shall teach you... the rules of... eloquence, for the meal that evening where I shall introduce you as our newest Aide and the old one will officially step down.” Dean explained. “Is that suitable for you?”

“That is most gracious of you, Sire.” Cas acknowledged. “That is more than adequate time for the transition. I look forward to meeting everyone and learning of my duties. I hope to be as much of service as I have in the past.” He nodded before hesitating. “As well as spending more time with His Majesty.” He added, flushing slightly but managing to keep his expression even.

Dean raised an eyebrow at the Omega, but didn’t press. “Would you like to ask me anything else?” He asked. “About my policies I’m wishing to implement, or about my personal life. Anything at all.” He offered. “And remember not every Aide or Commander will get the opportunity to ask me anything so openly.”

“No, Sire; though I do appreciate the opportunity.” He acknowledged. “I’m sure there will be plenty of time to learn everything I’d need in the coming weeks.” He offered. “I fear that if we are to prepare for the address in time that I must being going shortly however.”

“Of course,” Dean nodded. “And if you wish to speak to another Omega about anything... Royal, then Sammy’s wife, Meg, is happy to discuss and help you.” He offered. “I know sometimes it’s just easier for an Omega to speak with another Omega.”

That had Cas hesitating once more. “Of course, Sire. Thank you.” He acknowledged with a bow. “If you’ll excuse me there is much to be done.” He mumbled before turning to go.

Dean nodded and watched the Omega go before preparing some material to help Cas transition into his new role. He thought about how much more calmer Cas was when around him today compared to yesterday. He tried to work out what he had done differently, but apart from being calmer and less forthright, he wasn’t sure.

Cas spent the rest of the day in meetings and managing paperwork to prepare for the transition; sending messengers out with orders and information about the address later in the evening. Everything seemed to be going well enough aside from the meeting with the two that were to be his successors. Naturally, they were upset with the news that Castiel would be stepping down from Command and had many questions but the Omega had some how managed to avoid answering them, ensuring them they would have their answers during the address. Soon enough, Cas stood in front of the King’s Office, dressed in his regal armor for the last time, helmet tucked under his arm as he waited for the Alpha.

[Beginning] // [Previous] // [Next]

#Destiel #destiel rp #roleplay #rp #dean winchester #castiel #castiel Novak #dean/cas #Dean Winchester/Castiel #supernatural #m/m #suspicious nature #abo #a/b/o/ #a/b/o #a/b/o rp #abo rp #Dean/Castiel

[ladylilithprime]

Sastiel Creations Challenge | @ladylilithprime

↳ Theme: One More | Prompt: Day

Fluff Bingo Square: Movie Night

=I Did Not Live Until Today=

Read on AO3

MOVIE NIGHT IN the Bunker had been originally instituted by Dean, and the insistence of Sam that everyone in the Bunker, especially a stressed out and overworked teenaged Prophet of the Lord, needed to take regular breaks to relax and unwind before the constant "go, go, go" made them all go crazy. Hunts would occasionally interrupt the ritual, postpone it for a couple of days, but none of them were allowed more than ten days without a mandatory Movie Night. Dean had insisted that Castiel join these movie nights whenever he was around, intent on "educating" the Angel in what he termed the "classics" of cinema. Castiel had confided privately to Sam that, upon viewing these so-called classics, he was gaining more of an understanding of Dean than he was of why the movies were classical, which Sam had assured him was normal.

Movie Night had been weird after the Trials, because Sam would start out watching the movie with Dean and whoever else was there, but suddenly it would be hours later and he wouldn't remember actually watching any of it despite not having moved. In the wake of Crowley showing up in Sam's head with the brothers' code word tripping off his tongue to warn him that he had an angelic passenger who had taken over the driver's seat, Sam figured he knew what had happened and maybe he felt a little tiny flicker of gratitude for Gadreel sparing him having to watch the monkey movies again, but that was drowned out by the overall feelings of shock and betrayal and rage because how could Dean do this to him?!

It was Sam's decision to continue Movie Night even though it was just him and Castiel in the Bunker now. The original purpose of enforcing a break on overworked humans was still valid, even though now the overworked human was only Sam, and the secondary purpose of introducing Castiel to human entertainment was also still in effect, perhaps even more so after Metatron had downloaded a huge selection of American pop culture into Castiel's head without much in the way of context. Without Dean to steer the selection towards action films and neither of them particularly interested in watching mindless violence and gore, plus Sam's increased aversion to psychological horror films, the movies they watched tended to veer more towards musicals. If Castiel suspected that this, too, might be a bit of Sam's rebellion against Dean's stubborn adherence to mullet rock as the only valid music to listen to, well, he didn't call Sam on it and Sam didn't choose to admit anything.

Tonight was another designated Movie Night, not because it had been too long since the last, but because Sam knew that after the failure of the tracking spell with Gadreel's extracted Grace he, at least, needed something where the fate of the world was less dependant on the outcome. In hindsight, queueing up Les Miserábles was probably not the best idea given the overall setting of the movie and the themes of melancholy and grief that pervaded it, but he suspected Castiel would appreciate the other themes of faith and sacrifice and second chances.

He probably should have expected Castiel's analysis of the story's themes to extend to their lives, but somehow it didn't even occur to him until Castiel blindsided him with an abrupt declaration that Jean Valjean reminded him of Sam.

"I'm sorry?" Sam blurted, not sure he had heard the Angel correctly.

"He is a good man who committed criminal acts for a good cause and was harshly punished for it even after his incarceration ended," Castiel explained, gesturing to the screen where Valjean's pay was docked in front of the other workers, who were openly hostile. "It does not matter to these people that his intentions were noble - to feed his family - or that the crime was relatively minor, all they see is the criminal record and discount the good heart of the man who committed it and is stained by that record in the eyes of the society he serves."

"Cas, that's not... I started the Apocalypse!" Sam said, shaking his head. "That's a good bit worse than stealing a loaf of bread and running."

"You killed a demon," Castiel disagreed. "A demon you had been told by everyone around you was responsible for breaking Seals and that killing her would stop things. You were deliberately not told that she was the final Seal and that killing her would release Lucifer because enough angels, myself included, believed that if you knew the truth then you would not have killed her. Yet you do not blame me for lying to you, or for changing my mind and breaking through my conditioning too late to send Dean in time to stop you. Nor do you blame Dean for breaking under Alistair and being the one to break the first Seal which set things in motion. Instead, you continue to allow people, including Dean who should really know better, to cast the blame for things beyond your control onto your shoulders and even take on blame and responsibility where there should be none, forgetting that any penance required for playing a part long ago set out for you has been more than served."

Sam looked away from Castiel's placid, deeply knowing expression, but found he couldn't focus on the screen until a flash of silver catching light drew his attention. "Look, I don't... whatever redemption I might have earned with jumping has to be cancelled out by the things I did after getting out again, especially all the crap I pulled without my soul--"

"Do you think yourself responsible for your soulless self's actions, even though your soul was still in the Cage being subjected to Michael and Lucifer's torments?" Sam frowned a little at the low notes of guilt and sorrow in the Angel's voice and looked over, but Castiel wouldn't meet his eyes, staring instead at the screen as the old priest backed up Valjean's lie of gifted silver and gave over the candlesticks as well. "Hm. Heaven has not treated you nearly so kindly as this priest does..."

"Castiel," Sam started to reach out, but found his courage falter and lowered his hand with a sigh. "I know you didn't leave my soul behind on purpose. I knew it then, too, even with you keeping secrets and never having mentioned it before that moment... sorry, too, about the holy fire."

"There is no apology necessary," Castiel refuted, though Sam thought he looked moderately grateful for it anyway. "You were right to be suspicious of my actions and motives at the time, if not for that specific reason."

"Still..."

"Sam, I assure you, I hold no ill will over your suspicion of me, nor for your actions to try and stop me. If anything, I am deeply grateful for your continued faith in me even after I had gone off the reservation and done you considerable harm." Castiel shook his head. "We are getting away from the main subject, which is that you are not responsible for the actions your body committed without your soul present."

"It was still my body," Sam argued. "My... impulses or whatever, stripped of my inhibitions--"

"Not true," Castiel interrupted. "Stripped of your higher empathic functions and natural moral compass that is your soul, your body behaved with logical precision not unlike how most Angels would act. While that behavior likely seemed heartless or 'dickish' at times, this was in part because of the contrast to your usual compassion and kindness, but you weren't actively malicious or uncontrolled. Everything, including the decision to go to Dean with the suspicion that something was wrong and to ask him to be your moral compass, was meticulously and logically thought out and reasoned for the most optimal outcome. Recall that your soulless self felt that it was for the best that your soul be retrieved and rejoined with your body, and only rejected the plan when the possibility that doing so would kill you was presented."

"Whereupon I promptly tried to kill Bobby! Cas--"

"Sam," Castiel turned fully to face him and glared at him in a way that reminded Sam forcefully of the fact that this was an Angel of the Lord. "You. Are. Not. To. Blame. Your soulless self attempted to kill a man who showed every sign of being ready to kill you by forcefully reuniting your damaged soul with your body. A soul, I must add, which did not deserve the torment inflicted upon it and to which we owed the continued existence of the human race."

"I was just--"

"Cleaning up your mess, so you've said." Castiel was beginning to look frustrated. "But the Apocalypse was not just your mess. It was Dean's, and mine, and Lucifer's, and Michael's, and every angel and demon and human servant of either side who worked towards setting it off earlier than my Father planned. I would even venture to say that it was my Father's fault for refusing to step in when, despite Raphael's delusions, we had very clear evidence from Joshua that He is still alive and close enough to be aware of the situation." The Angel reached forward then and covered the shell-shocked human's nearest hand with his own. "Your soulless self recognized that, and recognized the unfair imbalance, and quite rightly called us out on our lack of respect for you and your sacrifices. Since regaining your soul, Dean's insistence on leaving past transgressions in the past except when it suits him to drag them out as evidence of culpability and questionable judgement has driven your self-confidence down to the point where you have even allowed Dean to make you believe yourself at fault for not looking for a brother and non-human friend whom you had every reason to believe were dead and at peace.

"No more," Castiel said with a fire in his vessel's blue eyes that had nothing to do with his borrowed Grace. "Sam Winchester, you will listen to me and believe this if nothing else: You. Deserve. Respect. And for my part in allowing others to be negligent in giving you that respect, you have my apologies."

For a long moment, Sam could do nothing more than stare at Castiel, stunned speechless and feeling more than a few echoes of the old awe and wonder with which he had first viewed this Angel of the Lord who had saved his big brother from Hell. It seemed impossible to believe, even with Castiel staring into him and all but demanding that he do so. For all he knew, he had fallen asleep on the couch next to Castiel and all of this was somehow some sort of incredibly vivid dream like the ones he tried to pretend he didn't have about the Angel, because if anything stood a chance at making their current arrangement far more awkward than it ever needed to be....

Castiel must have seen something of his thoughts in his expression, because the intensity faded into sadness and then, before Sam could gather his wits enough to try and reassure him, turned to resolve. "I will remind you of this conversation later, so as to establish better credibility."

"Um..." Sam blinked. That was unexpected. "Okay? Thanks? I'll... work on believing you, Cas, I will, I just...."

"Have several years of conditioning for expecting the worst to work around, as well as the more recent problems with maintained perception of reality," Castiel nodded. "I will remind you as often as is necessary of your worth and worthiness."

Sam nodded, more for the lack of any other way to acknowledge Castiel's words than out of agreement or understanding, jumping a little when the music from the television screen picked up in volume. He turned back to the movie, flushing darkly when he realized that they'd completely missed Fantine's entire arc and Valjean's crisis of conscience, and reached for the remote. "Oh, hey, let me--"

"No, it's--" Castiel's grip on Sam's hand tightened, then released with enough abruptness that Sam found himself stopping anyway, turning questioning eyes on Castiel. "I confess that I have been, ah, 'cheating' with this film, as it is one of the stories that Metatron saw fit to share, though not this particular version."

"Should we put on something else?"

"If that is what you prefer. I am enjoying watching it with you regardless."

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask if that was because of Castiel's bizarre comparisons between Sam and Valjean, but he swallowed it back and instead forced himself to settle back into the couch beside Castiel to watch the introduction to the Thénardier family and Cosette. The silence stretched between them as the music played, until--

"Sam? Why is Thénardier's wife making that gesture when she sings that there is 'not much there'?"

Sam swallowed down the urge to choke or laugh, because of course Castiel would ask about that. He cut a sharp glance in the Angel's direction to check if he was being trolled, but Castiel's expression showed only genuine puzzlement. "Uh... Well, I mean, uh... some guys get kinda hung up on penis size, uh, taking the whole 'bigger is better' idea way too seriously and, uh, thinking that bigger size makes them better able to please their partners, which, uh, really isn't true across the board. And, uh, there are a lot of guys who think that having those, um, extra inches is all they need for it to be good for their partner, which also isn't true." He found himself looking at the screen in a gambit to not have to meet Castiel's eyes, and moments later he pointed. "See, she's saying the line again without the gesture. So, uh, the implication is Thénardier falls doubly short of the mark."

"I see," Castiel said, his tone meditative. With his eyes averted, Sam couldn't see the speculative look the Angel sent in his direction, though he definitely heard the pointedly dry tone when Castiel added, "Mrs Thénardier would do better to find a more skilled pizza man."

Sam jerked his head around to stare at Castiel again, but this time the Angel's expression was the same sort of bland that he used when trolling Dean, and so Sam managed to force out a chuckle for the joke before settling in to watch the dynamics between the Thénardiers and Cosette with its very Cinderella vibe. Castiel muttered something about "punching John Winchester again" that made no sense and Sam wasn't sure he wanted to know about anyway, and then made a brief comment about Cosette's dream being similar to many human interpretations of Heaven, but otherwise said nothing until Valjean told Cosette that he was now her father.

"Another parallel," he said. Sam, who had hoped Castiel had forgotten about his weird fixation by this point, blinked in confusion.

"Uh, Cas, I'm pretty sure I haven't gone and adopted any random kids," he pointed out. Really, that seemed more like something Dean would do than him, Dean actually really liked kids and liked the idea of being a dad while Sam... not so much.

"Random, no," Castiel agreed. "You are, however, extraordinarily compassionate. I suspect that, if presented with an orphaned child whose situation required more specialized guardianship than a more normal human fosterage system could provide, you would be an excellent parental figure." He was silent for a moment, pensive and troubled, and then said, softly, "I had never had Nephilim of my own, nor am I likely to do so in the future, but if I did and was unable to care for the child myself, I would ask you."

"Me?" Sam gaped at him. "I mean, why me? Why not Dean?"

"Dean has an unfortunate history of being less than tolerant of supernatural occurrences, of children with powers beyond most human capabilities," Castiel said, shooting an apologetic glance at Sam even before Sam was aware of wincing. "A Nephil would inevitably have powers, and I am a Seraph. Only an Archangel could overpower and suppress the Grace of a Nephil sired by me, and there are no more Archangels available to do so. You have powers of your own and training in using them, albeit with an enhancement method that I would not recommend using with a Nephil, and would be well suited to teaching."

"Cas, my powers--"

"Are yours and yours alone. Azazel may have forcefully activated them on his own schedule and attempted to corrupt them and, through them, you, but he - and Ruby - failed. Your soul is far too pure and good for their hooks to find permanent anchor."

"But... I mean, you... angels... you always warned me against using them...."

"Only because the method with which you were amplifying them - that is, drinking demon blood - was so dangerous to you and the people around you, and training them to full strength properly after first tearing down Azazel's blocks would have taken considerably more time and effort... and, I suspect, those of my superiors actively assisting in bringing about the Apocalypse did not want you learning to use your powers without the addictive crutch of demon blood that could be used to prime your rage and point you at Lilith when the time came."

"So why are you just now telling me this?"

"Well," Castiel glanced away, looking somewhat sheepish. "To be honest, I did not realize that you were unaware that your powers were innate and not actually demonic in origin until I overheard you speaking of them in past tense as if they no longer existed because you were no longer drinking demon blood rather than you simply not using them. Given my clumsy understanding of social nuances and the complex mix of negative emotions you associate with your powers, I erred on the side of caution and did not mention it until our current conversation provided an opening."

Well. That was fair. Even so, Sam couldn't help but stare at Castiel as he attempted to process everything he had learned in such a short amount of time. The fact that the majority of Angels hated him was not new, but the fact that Heaven had actively sabotaged his efforts to be better than the demon blood that tainted him was... also not new, exactly, but Sam had never expected to hear it put so bluntly in conjunction with reassurance that his powers - and, by extension, Sam himself - did not come from a source of evil.

Even more bewildering was the hypothetical child Castiel spoke of and his assertion that Sam, not Dean who had always longed to be a parent, but Sam who had barely ever had anything to do with children even when he had been one, was to be given custody of the hypothetical Nephil if Castiel was incapacitated. The way Castiel had talked about the subject made it clear that he had never had Nephilim himself, and Sam knew that the creation of Nephilim was outlawed, and yet the Angel was sitting there, calm as you please, declaring that if he did ever have a child with a human and needed another parent besides himself and, presumably, the mother, that he would pick Sam. Sam, who was uncomfortable around kids at the best of times, even if he could fake passable competence in an emergency. Sam, who wouldn't trust himself to look after a completely human baby, never mind one that had "phenomenal cosmic powers" at its disposal. Sam who, until earlier when Castiel had declared that "nothing is worth losing you", had thought that Castiel might possibly consider him a friend at best and tolerated him as a reasonably useful asset at worst. Mind-boggling just didn't cover it.

And that wasn't even touching the whole thing with Castiel sounding like he was defending the actions of his soulless self. The subject of Sam's time topside without his soul was something Dean had never hesitated shut down hard, but Castiel had sounded almost... complimentary. Which made no sense, Sam knew, because without his soul he had been a tactless jerk, not--

"Your soulless self recognized that... and quite rightly called us out on our lack of respect for you and your sacrifices."

Sam swallowed against the lump forming in his throat, and again when it refused to be dislodged. Everything he did to help people, to try and make up for the damage he had caused, it never felt like enough. All the centuries spent in the Cage with Michael and Lucifer systematically taking out their rage on him amounted to only a year and a half on Earth, and the tortures blurred together to the point where Sam had long since lost count of how many centuries it had really been, shoving it down and shoving it down, his shaky forays into meditation and reshuffling his mind only managing to build the flimsiest of fences between his conscious mind and that echoing chasm of memory and pain, bits and pieces escaping here and there to scratch along his dreams. Little reminders that he may be out, maybe, but he would never be truly free. It was a truth, cold and logical and inexorable, that Dean refused to acknowledge in either of them, touched by Hell as they both were in different ways, and neither of them coping nearly as well as they wanted the other to believe.

"Stripped of your higher empathic functions and natural moral compass that is your soul, your body behaved with logical precision not unlike how most Angels would act."

The irony of an Angel of the Lord comparing his soulless self to other Angels was not lost on Sam, nor was the way that comparison gave him mixed feelings. All the years of praying, of believing in God and His Angels, having faith that some higher power was watching out for Dean and his Dad when he couldn't, that there was real good in the world to counterbalance all the evil being shoved at him from all sides...

"Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood."

...no....

"Nothing is worth losing you."

...but why....

"Sam? Sam, did you hear me?"

"Hm?" Jolted from his contemplating, Sam shot a guilty look first at the screen - how had he missed that much of the movie?! - and then gave Castiel a sheepish smile. "Sorry, Cas. What were you saying?"

"I was asking about Marius's assertion that he is in love with Cosette, when he has only just met her and barely interacted with her at all," Castiel repeated himself after a moment of scrutiny for his friend. "It seems disingenuous, more like the 'love' of the pizza man and the babysitter."

"It's supposed to be love at first sight, Cas," Sam explained, scrubbing a hand down his face. "It's like... when two people who've never interacted before meet, and there's this... connection that forms between them, like they click on a level that is deeper than physical or emotional. A look, a touch of hands... you just know, looking at that person, that this is it. This is the one." He shrugged. "It's talked about in books and movies and stories and songs all the time as this big romantic ideal, a lot like soulmates... uh, cupid-type soulmates, not me and Dean type soulmates."

"Do you not believe in love at first sight?" Castiel asked, tilting his head to the side with that puzzled curiosity that Sam found endearingly familiar.

"I don't disbelieve in it," Sam said, choosing his words carefully. "I mean, being a hunter has taught me that every story has some root in a truth. I just don't necessarily think that it always happens the way the stories make it sound. Like maybe sometimes it's one-sided, or something gets in the way like they live too far apart or one is already married or..." Sam bit his lip before he could continue the thought with mention of angels and humans, because he knew from Castiel that most instances of humans and angels coupling were less about romance and love and more about lust and awkward power imbalances, and the last thing he wanted to bring up right now was the hypothetical Nephil again. "Besides, just because love usually happens more slowly than a couple of seconds doesn't make it any less deep or meaningful or special."

"I see," Castiel hummed, and then, "Sam? How do you know when you're in love?"

...Shit.

"Uh," Sam reached up to rub the back of his neck, only to force his hand back down again when he realised what he was doing. "It's different for everyone, Cas...."

"I am aware," and there was a definite note of impatience in the gravelled voice. "I am asking how you know when you are in love."

"Oh," Sam mumbled. He could feel his face heating up and very nearly prayed that the heat wasn't a visibly obvious blush before he stopped himself; Castiel would probably hear it if he did. "Uh, well... not to sound like a broken record, but it was different for everyone I was... I mean, I felt differently about different people, even though it's all still love."

Castiel made an encouraging noise, and when Sam chanced a look in his direction, the Angel was turned more towards him than the screen, clearly interested and wanting to hear more. Well, okay then. Sam leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes, reaching back into the depths of his memory for the times he was in love or thought he was, shying away from some of the memories like Madison or Sarah or Amelia, and focusing on the deeper ones, the ones that got under his skin and stayed there across the years, even just as scars. There was a pattern there, a set of feelings that overlapped each instance.

"Happiness," he began, because that was the obvious place to start. "When you see the person, you feel happy. Being around them, sitting next to them, holding hands, hugging... full of happiness and joy and peace. You feel happy when they're happy, sad when they're sad, hurt when they're in pain... You want to protect them, even when you know they can protect themselves. You would fight, kill, even die for them, not because they would ever ask it of you, but because losing them is... unthinkable. It's agony. And all the pain is worth it, because seeing them smile is... it's better than Heaven."

"Oh," Castiel breathed. "Yes, that... that makes so much sense now."

There was a shuffling sound, and the couch cushions dipped beneath shifting weight, and then Sam felt one of his hands being enfolded in Castiel's, the skitter of that unfamiliar Grace held tightly leashed beneath his skin tingling just at the edge of Sam's awareness. He opened his eyes and looked at Castiel, who was beaming at him now from much closer than he had been. "Cas...?"

"Sam," Castiel was still smiling, but it was warmer, softer than the brilliant joy of before, more comfortable and... "Thank you for sharing your feelings with me. I was never able to explain myself adequately to my brothers, and so they frequently drew incorrect conclusions that I lacked the necessary frame of reference to refute or correct. Perhaps now I can make them understand."

"Understand?"

"That I am in love with you, Sam Winchester," Castiel squeezed Sam's hand gently. "My world started the day I took your hand. And I would not have it any other way."

"Cas... I...." He couldn't say it. He wanted to, God, did he ever want to say it back, but the words caught in his throat, too used to being choked back after so many years. "Cas...."

"I know. Sam? Will you hold me again? I enjoyed that quite a lot."

"Sure, Cas," Sam shifted, shoving the whirling of his thoughts back and away, and opened his arms. Castiel released his hand and moved closer, pressing the length of his body against Sam's. He let out a soft sigh as Sam brought his arms up to curl around Castiel, settling in a loose embrace that still managed to fully encompass the Angel's smaller physical frame. Together, they turned to watch the movie, wrapped up in each other and the mutual assurance that their feelings, spoken or not, were returned.

"Tomorrow we'll discover what our God in Heaven has in store...."

=End=

#sastiel #sastielcc #sastiel creations challenge #spn fluff bingo #supernatural fic

[winchester-ofthe-lord]

What Doesn’t Kill You

Pairing: Castiel x Dean Winchester

Warnings: severely injured Dean, almost character death, mild gore, angst

Word Count: 1.666 (yes, I’m proud of that hellish number xD)

Challenge: Destiel Fresh Hits

Topic: Monster

Summary:  Cas was on his knees, cradling Dean’s head in both hands, forcefully shaking it. “Dean, you have to stay with me! You hear me? Stay with me!”

This couldn’t be happening. Dean couldn’t be dying.

Not now. Not today. Not like this.

read on ao3

“Dean! Dean!” Cas was on his knees, cradling Dean’s head in both hands, forcefully shaking it. “Dean, you have to stay with me! You hear me? Stay with me!” He was begging, his jaw clenched so hard it hurt, desperately trying to keep the barely conscious man in front of him awake. Blood oozed through his fingers holding tightly onto the limp head. Red fatality trickled across the back of his trembling hands, dripped onto the cold stone floor. “Please- Dean.” It was in vain. A futile attempt.

Cas’ head nodded forward, his chin met his own chest. His eyes pressed shut. Fought against the tears seething behind his eyelids.

This couldn’t be happening.

Not now. Not today. Not like this.

“What did you do to him?” he growled through gritted teeth, pulling Dean up, pressing him tightly against his chest. Cas soothingly rocked him in his arms.

Cas snapped his head towards the dark figure leaning languidly against the railing above them, the flashing of gloating, sharp white teeth being the only thing he could make out in the blackness.

“Oh Castiel,” the dark figure started and tsked disparagingly. “The question isn’t what I did to him, but rather why I did it.” The figure pushed itself back from the railing, spread its long arms and shrugged nonchalantly. “And the answer to that, before you ask, is very simple. Because I fucking can!” The laugh that followed was nothing but ugly.

Dean’s body went slack in Cas’ arms. “No! Please, no. Dean!” Trembling fingers searched for a pulse. It was low, barely there, shallow and erratic, but he was still alive...barely.

Cas carefully lowered the unconscious body back on the floor, tenderly stroking Dean’s scruffy cheek for a brief moment before he stood up again, drawing himself to his full height. Gazing blue eyes glared upwards to the still broadly smiling creature, as Castiel took a step forward.

“I don’t care about your unreasonable motives, you son of a bitch,” -an inevitable side-effect of living and spending a huge amount of time with Dean- “What did you do to him?” Cas repeated, bristling with rage. His angel blade materialized in his right hand, the pointy tip, gleaming silver, mirroring the flashing of the monster’s teeth.

“Oh c’mon, Castiel. What are you gonna do now, huh-” a malicious smirk- “Angel?”

Cas flinched painfully at the word. Fingers gripping tighter around the cold metal of his blade, knuckles turning white. This... thing couldn’t possibly know about his current state. It just couldn’t.

“What, no snarky response?” the dark figure sneered and disappeared from where it stood on the gallery on the mezzanine level.

Cas froze on the spot. Throwing frenzied looks in every direction, his panic mounted up sky-high, made every nerve ending in his body buzz with adrenaline. Where did that bastard go? He’s gotta be somewh-

“Lookin’ for me?”

Castiel wheeled around. Nothing. The little hairs in the back of his neck were still tingling from the hot breath the monster whispered against the shell of his ear.

Without his angel powers he had to rely solely on his very limited human senses.

His eyes were useless, however, as the large room was only dimly lit by the moonlight shining through a thin crack in one of the boarded up windows. A metallic tinge of Dean’s blood hung in the air, nothing else.

The man held his breath to focus on his hearing. But apart from his own pulse pounding in his ears and the ragged, agonized, raspy gasps of the love of his life on the floor he couldn’t hear a damn thing.

“What’s wrong, Angel?”

There was that word again. This time though, it resounded from above Cas’ head and his eyes roamed over the gallery once more. And again, he couldn’t see a thing. No figure. No teeth. Nothing.

It had been his own choice after all. He had decided to extract his grace. He had chosen to become human. He had wanted this. For himself. For Dean. For them. But if that meant that Dean was dying now, just because Castiel had been selfish and had wanted his happily ever after with his righteous man, he could never forgive himself.

“C’mon Castiel,” the voice hissed from the other side of the room, “This is getting boring.”

Anger was boiling in his stomach and spilled into a furious snarl as soon as Cas opened his mouth, “Oh yeah? How about you show yourself, you pathetic coward!” He quickly glanced at Dean who was still lying unconscious on the floor, blood trickling from his ears in a sluggish, nevertheless constant flow. The sight made Castiel’s heart wrench painfully.

Hang in there, Dean, he thought, sending silent prayers to a father who never listened, to brothers and sisters who abandoned him, I’m getting us out of here. Just hold on. Please, Dean. Just hold on.

“What is it, loverboy, you gonna try and kill me now?”

This time Castiel turned around, facing the direction the voice came from, he could make out a vague shape against the silvery moonlight. The figure was baring its pointy teeth again, girdled by leathery lips that merged into the scaly black skin of the monster’s face. A dark purple tongue, forked in the front, peeked through the white teeth, leaving a glistening shimmer on the lips.

“What are you?” Cas growled, angel blade still in his hand, as he glared into dark eyes.

The monster dissolved into thin air once again, but immediately reappeared right next to Dean’s limp body on the floor, his own angel blade still loosely held in his slack hand.

“Get away from him!” the former angel barked and dashed towards their direction, causing the creature to disappear again.

It materialized back on the mezzanine level, “Easy there, Castiel, he’ll be dead soon anyway...two minutes tops. I don’t need to hurt him any more. He’s already suffering more than you could ever imagine.” The monster’s chuckle sent shivers down Cas’ spine. Or maybe it were its words. At this point it didn’t matter anymore.

“I’m asking you again,” he started, voice indefinitely deep and menacing, nostrils quivering with pure rage, “What are you?”

“Why does that matter, Angel? You can’t kill me. You fool, you can’t even see me if I don’t let you.” The creature dissipated again.

Castiel was exasperated, desperate, exhausted. He had no idea what he was dealing with. No idea how to kill it. Or how he could save Dean. How to get out of this goddamn warehouse. He swallowed thickly. Scrubbed his left hand over his face. Took a deep breath.

“Let us go,” he demanded. It was worth a try.

“Oh, where’d be the fun in that, huh?” the monster cackled. “Nuh-uh, loverboy, I’m afraid I can’t do that. As soon as my venom has spread enough, your boyfriend here-” it teleported back next to Dean- “will finally die and then,” it crouched down, stepping into a pool of blood next to Dean’s less and less heaving chest in the process. “I will eat him. And there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Tears of anger and grief threatened to well up in Cas’ eyes as he watched the creature reach out a clawed hand towards Dean’s head.

I’m sorry, Dean, Castiel dropped down on his knees, only a few steps separating him from the love of his life. It could’ve been miles just as well. He wouldn’t have been able to reach him in time. Couldn’t have done anything to save him anyway. I’m so sorry, Dean. I’m sorry...I came too late... I love you, Dean... I’m sorry.

He watched the monster drag a long black finger across Dean’s neck, smearing through the trace of blood that was still seeping from his ear.

Cas couldn’t stop staring. I'm so sorry, Dean... I love you...

The creature brought its finger, now covered in Dean’s blood, up to its lips and sucked the syrupy liquid into its mouth, moaning abominably around it before it closed its eyes.

Cas stared at the monster. Then at Dean. Stared at Dean’s chest. It had stopped moving. Why wasn’t it moving? That would mean- No... No! He can’t be-

Cas’ lips mouthed a silent, defeated ‘Dean’.

I'm so sorry...

I came too late...

I love you...

Dean...

The bloodcurdling death cry of the black scaled thing ripped Castiel from his state of shock. He was still just staring, petrified, unable to move more than his eyelids. He blinked the blurriness from his eyes.

The first thing that came back to his focus was Dean’s back draped over the black monster. Dean’s slightly moving back. It was moving. He was breathing.

Dean was alive.

The monster, on the other hand, was not. Dean’s angel blade was buried to the hilt in the creature’s chest, purple blood trickling over the scale covered skin, mixing with Dean’s blood on the floor. The pool of mixed blood was glowing purple, smokey light slowly dissolved into thin air around the two bodies in front of Castiel’s eyes.

“Dean?” Cas whispered around the lump in his throat. He finally managed to regain control over his body and stumbled three staggering steps forward before he tumbled over again. He reached a shaking hand out and grabbed Dean by his shoulder, turning him over and off of the monster.

Glistening green eyes blinked tiredly at Castiel. “Dean,” he repeated, this time in relief, silent tears falling from his eyes onto Dean’s blood-soaked flannel. He took Dean’s face in both hands again, brought their lips together forcefully.

When their mouths parted after a kiss that said more than words ever could, Cas let his forehead rest against Dean’s and they just breathed in synch for a few minutes.

Dean stirred beneath him and the former angel lifted his head to look at the other man’s face.

A barely there smile greeted him, voice weak and grating. “Hiya Cas.”

#Destiel fanfic #destiel fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #supernatural #spn fic #spn fanfic #my fic #dean winchester #castiel