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mammons-tax-returns · 3 years

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HDJXKDKFF I KNOW I HAVE REQUESTS BUT I NEEDED THIS PLEASE FORGIVE ME THIS WAS SO TIME CONSUMING AND FOR WHAT>> TO SATISFY MY DYSPHORIA/fA<>>A???

synapsis ; Satan and MC often discuss the plot lines of their favorite books, but this time, it’s a little bittersweet

✖️MALE MC✖️ comfort, kinda sad, fluff?

MC could practically feel the past few sleepless nights tugging at his limbs. He yawned into his hand. “I probably shouldn’t have pulled an all nighter last night, huh?” He chuckled a little to make light of the situation.

Satan sighed helplessly, brushing some of his hair out of his eyes. “I told you this would happen. You’d better watch yourself before I force you to get proper hours of sleep.” His emerald eyes never left the pages of his most recent favorite novel series. “Lucifer isn’t as worried for your grades considering you won’t be here for as long as us.”

“That’s true... But even still, I wouldn’t want to disappoint Luci.” MC rubbed his eyes a bit before responding.

There was only a scoff in response from the blonde, along with mutters definitely slandering his older brother.

“But never mind that. Wanna update me on your book?” MC grabbed his own book from the table to his side and took a seat on Satan’s bed. He has learned from experience that Satan read books far beyond his comprehension level-- far beyond the comprehension level of some of the smartest demons as well. But the plots are interesting enough that listening to Satan relay the insights to him has become a hobby.

“Well.... Amanthy ends up saving the prince from the monster right in the nick of time, but get this; the two of them don’t get married.” MC finally gets to see Satan’s eyes when he looks up in mild excitement. They’re blazing so brightly that it nearly burns him as he watches them. This normally happened when Satan was allowed to rant about a book.

“Amanthy calls off the marriage because he didn’t think that the prince was strong enough to be with him on his journey. I really recommend you reading this part at the very least. Now that you know what’s actually happening in it, you can focus on how incredibly this author deepens the understanding of Amanthy and his intents.”

Amanthy... Would you really end it all just like that? MC found himself wondering. It must have been the fact that MC projected him and Satan onto the two ex-love birds in the novel. Amanthy was clearly a sophisticated book-loving mage similarly to Satan, and the prince was a simple man in a foreign world trying to figure everything out. Just like MC being thrown into the Devildom. Together, the two fought and travelled together.

As childish as it is, MC was hopeful that they would end up together in the end, just because of his crush on Satan. And hearing the news about their wedding almost felt like a personal attack.

He can’t respond immediately. “Oh.” He breathes, “That’s surprising... I, uh. Did not expect that.” A small laugh. How was he supposed to answer?

“I feel the same. It was not hinted at in the slightest...” Satan held his chin between his thumb and index finger. “But I understand Amanthy. I mean, looking at it realistically... The prince had his sword, and even with the little magic he had, surely he could have fought the beast instead of waiting for it to kill him... Amanthy is a strong man, and I’m not sure how well he’d hold up being with someone like that.”

“Hmm. Interesting... This whole plot was just one turn after another. You really have an eye for good books... The beginning of that story was a bit slow.” MC tried to seem as invested as possible. But it was proving to be much more difficult than it seemed. Although he knew Satan can’t be held accountable for something like this... Does he really think that Amanthy was in the right?

There was a knot forming in the very bottom of his stomach. So then, would he do the same thing in that situation? Would he really drop me if he had to save me like that?

“The story certainly did pick up speed... Even I was impressed. But it truly added to the character development! Amanthy is a smart man for what he did, and he’s really selling it to me. I wonder if that shopkeeper from the last chapter will reappear...” He flipped several pages back as if to see if it was hinted at anywhere. “She looked like a better fit for our bookworm protagonist... Or maybe he’s better off on his own?”

MC’s mood just seemed to be going down a never ending decline. The shopkeeper? Who was literally everything that he wasn’t?

Satan continued before MC could comment, “The prince was always a bit of a dead weight, I can admit. There were times that I found myself criticizing him for little things, but never fully disliked him... Although there was much more to him than his exterior, I suppose.”

Okay, now this was a full blown call out post for MC. The prince getting called a dead weight for the protagonist? Suddenly, MC constantly having to be reminded by Satan to sleep seemed a little more daunting.

“So that’s how you look at it...” MC hummed and buried his face in his book, careful with his phrasing and hoping that the intuitive male in front of him couldn’t pick up on his hurt.

“Of course... How would you see it?” Satan leaned a little closer.

This man will be the end of me, and he won’t even know it.

MC cleared his throat and shifted a little out of discomfort. “I mean... I guess I sympathize with the prince a little. He hasn’t really gotten the chance to protect himself... A-And that’s the first time he’s been left with such a powerful beast, right? Just a few weeks ago, he was in his castle watching the knights spar, and now he’s here defending himself alone.” Don’t seem suspicious, MC. You got this. You can do this at the very least, can’t you? “Amanthy had a good connection with him. I can’t believe he’d just overlook that because the prince needs help understandably. I mean, isn’t that what a lover is for? To love and support?”

Satan’s lips tugged into a simple smile. “Ahh, so that’s how it is. I’m surprised you can pay so much attention right now when you’ve barely slept. You could barely keep your eyes open earlier.” He playfully ruffled MC’s hair.

His affectionate touch stung, and his words stabbed deep into MC’s core. He knew no harm was meant, and yet he couldn’t help but feel horrible. Why couldn’t he just listen to Satan’s nagging?

“But your opinion is just as strong as mine!” MC added quickly, hoping that Satan didn’t think he was disregarding him. “Maybe calling off the wedding was the right choice in the end... After all, the prince was kinda shady in the first few chapters right? Maybe he’ll prove to be the bad guy.”

Satan seemed to think it over for a moment. “ I suppose... But the prince is a bit more respectful than that, don’t you think?”

And now he’s defending the prince? Make up your mind already, MC silently thought.

“Y-Yeah, I guess so...” Am I as respectful as him, someone of literal royalty? MC breathed out slowly. Even if I am, what difference does that make, Satan?

Some time passed after that, and MC couldn’t get passed a single page in his book. His mind was a confusing jumble of thoughts. Some of them hoped that Satan would react differently if proposed the same situation. And some justified Amanthy’s decision in a sickening submission to his situation. His ‘situation’ is an inevitable unrequited love for Satan. And now he’s aware that Satan probably wouldn’t consider someone like him as a spouse even if given the chance. Great.

“MC? If you’re tired you should sleep.”

The (H/C) haired male jumped. He looked up to see Satan way too close for comfort at the moment. He felt himself flush. “I’m not! This story is too interesting for that.”

“You haven’t turned a single page. And you looked a little scary.” Satan chuckled. “Is it Lucifer? Is that rat stressing you for your grades?”

“Well, no... It’s just,” Phrase this properly, please. “I’m all hung up on that whole marriage situation. If... If you had to make that decision, would you call off the marriage too?”

Satan had a look of shock. “Hmm... I guess I hadn’t considered that.” He thought for a second. “I don’t think I would. I may have chosen Amanthy’s side, but I’m not him.”

Geez, that’s a big relief.

“But what about you? Would you do the same?”

Okay, now that was unexpected. MC blinked. “I definitely wouldn’t have. You heard my piece earlier. I wouldn’t leave someone just because they were incapable of things like that.”

... Was that too much information?

“Really... Interesting.” Satan leaned back into the cushions on the seat. “It’s almost spellbinding how similar you are to him, and yet you two have such different ideals.”

“Yeah...” MC answered subconsciously. “And it really--... Wait. Come again?”

How similar I am to Amanthy? No. I must have heard wrong. It just doesn’t make sense. There’s no way that he would compare me to someone as great as-

“I must have never mentioned it, but I tend to project the people I know onto storybook characters.” He seemed a little bashful, as he couldn’t quite make eye contact with MC. “Amanthy is a very selfless mage that happens to have a habit of staying up for days on end to finish his studies. He... He reminds me of you.” A small tinge of pink crawled onto his cheeks. “Sometimes, it also feels like you’re the protagonist of a great story, too.”

MC was flabbergasted. This conversation is hitting him harder than the actual plot of the book being discussed. “Th-Then, who do you see as the prince?” This wasn’t adding up. He couldn’t imagine who it could be if it wasn’t him.

“Me, of course.” Satan responded without missing a single beat. “I hate to admit it, but as the youngest brother, I tend to... Blow things out of proportion. And the others say it’s because I haven’t experienced the same things as them. I don’t quite understand it... But I guess I really don’t need to.” He looked lost in his own mind as he explained.

He continued as MC struggled to put everything together. “The prince was told many of the same things I have heard. But I think the reason I relate to him so largely is because I also feel little out of place, as many of his monologues describe my exact feelings so often.”

“Out of place..? Why is that?” MC’s words left his mouth before he could consider them. “Err, if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine.”

“No, It’s nice to get things like this off of my chest occasionally.” He paused briefly. “I guess I’m just not used to someone understanding me quite like you do. Don’t get me wrong, It’s not bad at all. It’s just a bit... Odd to me. Sometimes I wonder if I deserve it.”

“Satan... Of course you do. Otherwise I wouldn’t have taken the time and indulged in the same things as you.” MC felt his heart throb. Of course Satan would look into the story from a metaphorical stance rather than literal, like he did. He was the one actually reading the pages, after all. That’s just the type of person he is. There’s no real beast in this story in his eyes. The prince was just Satan stuck in his own thoughts.

“But... Surely, this doesn’t mean that you thought I would have made the same choice as Amanthy, right?”

Satan hummed. “You’ve got me unraveled under your fingertips, MC. But you’d be mistaken... I did. But even if something like that ever happened, I don’t think I’d let you go quite as easily as the prince did.” His smile had hints of mischief in it. “You’re stuck with me.”

MC’s eyes widened a little. There was so much information to take in at once. “Well... Rest assured, then?”

“Agreed.” Satan nodded. “I’m just hoping you won’t get fed up with having to constantly calm me down before a wreck a building.” He laughed, but it seemed sad, in a way.

Ahh... So that’s just it. Satan was insecure about something that I don’t mind helping him with a thousand times over. MC found himself smiling. Demons were much more similar to humans than he thought.

“That’s a bit cute, Satan.”

“What’re you on about?”

MC reached over and pat the top of his head in the way he knows he enjoys it. “I wouldn’t let you go so easily, either. I’m not Amanthy, and you’re not the prince. You’re gonna have to try a little harder to get rid of me.”

Satan was frozen in the spot. He suddenly understood what Levi’s shows would describe when they said, “time seemed to slow, and nothing else mattered other than him.”

“I don’t think I’d ever dream of it...”

For the first time ever, he felt as if he was receiving his very own happy ending in his own novel.

#obey me x male reader #obey me satan

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its-jijii · 4 years

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bsd character traits

howdy. idk how to start this. okay recently have been analyzing characters and,, i realized that most characters in bsd have traits (mainly one) that are blown rlly out of proportion. no spoilers below the cut i just don’t want to spam dashboards with longass posts 😩

so. a lot of bsd characters can be incredibly simplified and easy to explain. most characters that i can think of have a certain personality trait or something that makes up a lot of their character? for instance, i can say some of these traits and you’d be able to point to a certain character. childish and arrogant. happy and optimistic. obsessive and stalkerish.

ranpo, kenji, and higuchi. it’s like that for most characters, though. most of these traits are normal, or their causes are normal (such as higuchi’s “obsessive” behavior likely being a result of some mix of anxiety and idolization). anxiety and idolizing is okay and normal and moderation, but those traits are combined and amplified, which makes up a large portion of higuchi’s characterization. being optimistic is pretty normal,,, but kenji’s character is centered around being incredibly happy.

now this isn’t to say that this is a flaw in character design, or that it makes characters flat or boring. rather, i think it’s a pretty neat and interesting writing on asagiri’s part. y'know that post that’s like “if you can recognize a character by their outline, you know that it’s a good character design” or something like that,, yeah i think it's kinda like that but in writing instead of drawing? if you can write down a list of traits and think of certain bsd characters, then you’ve got a lot of the character covered already.

that isn’t to say that these traits are all that a character is, but mainly how they’re characterized and viewed. of course there is more to these characters, but if you were trying to summarize something, it’s very easy to simplify things to those traits. i think of this kind of like taking a character at face value.

looking at a character’s dominant trait(s) and mainly associating that with them seems like taking their (entire) character at face value. and i don’t think that’s necessarily always a bad thing! but i think it’s also important to look past those fronting traits and see smaller parts of the character, or the reason characters are that way. looking past dazai’s intense suicidal character and secrecy, you find that he can be manipulative. looking past alcott’s intense anxiety, you’ll see that she is actually very intelligent and capable, but those traits are mainly covered up by her “face value” trait.

then, there’s the matter of how strange or abnormal these traits are. honestly at first, tanizaki or kenji didn’t stand out as “extreme” anything,,, that i think is bc asagiri does a good job at making some things subtle and weave perfectly into their character. some stuff, like akutagawa’s intense desire for approval and determination, can’t really be missed. tanizaki may seem like an all over kind of moderate character, but i think that it just happens to be that his “extremes” are more normalized or hidden.

for instance, tanizaki seems pretty anxious. mainly noticed this in his first appearance where he was pretending to be a bomber- bouncing his leg, apologizing thoroughly afterwards and making sure atsushi was okay, etc. seemed like he was having some anxieties over the matter. this stuff is pretty normal given the situation, and in smaller amounts is normal. the situation definitely made those actions seem more situational and less like a part of tanizaki’s character.

there’s also tanizaki’s hidden extreme, which is his obsession and protectiveness of his sister (which i also wrote about a bit). again, loving and being protective of someone, especially a sibling, is pretty normal. but with bsd, it seems like these normal traits are just,, blown out of proportion? suddenly they’re very intense, very extreme, and you tend to associate those traits with the character afterwards.

kenji’s “extreme” would be his optimism and happiness, which again doesn’t seem like an extreme, likely cause it isn’t bad. unlike negative traits like possessiveness or being gloomy, happiness when amplified doesn’t stand out that much. extreme possessiveness or antisocial behavior definitely stands out more. kenji’s happiness is simply a part of his character, and it seems like it's more like “him” than an attribute he has. he doesn’t have happiness, he is happy. really fuckin happy. kind of alarmingly happy?? i’m scared of him but that’s for another post.

anyway uhhh now that i’ve kinda talked about the traits and why they do or don’t stand out, i’m gonna just. do a list thing. with everyone’s traits. yes. i’m sorry this is gonna be rlly fucking long,, this is everyone’s “extremes” and maybe why. also this order is coming straight off the wiki sorry in advance 🥳 not including smaller side characters (office assistants, elise, and herman melville)

ada

atsushi - he’s kind of complicated but atsushi seems like a mix of extreme anxiety, desire to prove himself/do good, and babey. he’s absolute babey. most of this is due to past abuse in the orphanage. some of his smaller traits include fear of pain/death, bravery, and kindness. sometimes these traits contradict each other which is why i say he’s complicated. while afraid of pain and death, his desire to prove himself pushes him into brave and risky acts. while he is generally kind and he wants to do good for others, that sometimes means being brutally honest or pushy. (see: interactions w/ aku, especially in cannibalism arc)

dazai - extremely suicidal and fake (fake happiness/outgoingness). mainly, though, is his over the top suicidal ideation. he is incredibly suicidal, and if asked to point out the most suicidal character in bsd, there’s a very clear answer: the suicide maniac. dazai is also one of the incredible geniuses in the series, which surfaces quite often. some of his smaller traits that i said earlier would be that he’s manipulative, a liar, and insensitive. personally i think these are some of his most intense traits, but it also seems like he’s one of the characters taken at “face value”, with these other traits overlooked due to his excessive suicidal ideation/being eccentric. i could ramble more but i will save my dazai shit-talking for my other analysis. oh and i say that his faking expressions is different from lying. one is purposefully being deceitful for personal gain, where faking an emotion/reaction is simply to hide one’s true feelings.

kunikida - extremely strict and idealistic. heavily imposes his standards on not just himself, but everyone around him. can make him easily angered. some of his less evident traits are fear of failure and sadness over not being able to save people. his fear of failure can be hidden by his strict and confident nature. he also tends to act very neutral and unaffected when discussing past failures (usually people dying), which gives off an uncaring attitude. contrary to that, though, kunikida cares a lot! while it’s somewhat unclear as to why kunikida is so set on his morals, it may be his way of dealing with perfectionism issues and fear of doing things incorrectly. if all that is supposed to be done and all of his beliefs are written in his notebook, it is easier to stay to a strict schedule.

ranpo - childish and arrogant. i could leave it at that because that's 90% of him but i won’t. ranpo’s inflated ego was likely born from some kind of entitlement (im sorry that sounds mean let me make amends). with him being a great detective and the ADA being founded for him likely contributed to him having a great feeling of importance and intelligence. honestly that’s understandable though, he is a respectable genius. underneath those domineering traits are strong desires for praise, to fit in, and some motivation issues. ranpo really wants to believe that he is gifted, as he would feel like the odd one out if he didn’t have one. he will do anything for fukuzawa’s praise, which is probably linked to some childhood issues. lastly, his motivation- it’s connected to his tendency to find everything boring, and if something is boring, it isn’t worth his time.

yosano - sadistic and dominant. this sounds like weird bedroom shit but i swear it isn’t. mainly, the sadism comes to light when she’s using her ability or when she’s fighting- both which include her using weapons on other people. her domineering personality is also not always evident, as she is able to talk with a calm front if the situation needs it, mainly in civilized ADA meetings. otherwise, yosano will get intense and competitive, with an underlying desire to win. to some degree i think this aggression comes from wanting to stay in her position in life- she worked to get there, and she won’t back down from anything that may challenge or disrupt that.

kenji - overly happy and trustworthy. this is pretty clear from looking at him, but again doesn’t stand out that much,, it’s an extreme, but it’s an extreme feeling rather than mindset/goal. his happiness also doesn’t hurt anyone, so it’s less noticeable when he’s working with others- it often won’t affect them, aside from perhaps encouraging them or cheering them up. kenji is also, as we have seen, too trusting. he believes that trusting others is a good thing that will always lead to a good outcome. since this is an extreme belief rather than a feeling, it’s projected on his surroundings a bit more. i can’t explain any of his underlying traits or causes as we don’t know a ton about him :<

fukuzawa - kinda tough to say, but i guess extremely calm and protective? i wanted to say emotionless but he definitely has emotions, he just conceals them very well. rather, he tends to stay calm in almost every situation, no matter how bad it looks. he is also very protective of the detective agency and yokohama as a whole. underneath the mask, fukuzawa is caring- he literally never shows it, but i’ve never seen him scold someone, get mad, or punish someone (except post-cannibalism, but that wasn’t bad). he often looks angry but isn’t really, nor is he super strict. his past is still a bit too unknown for me to guess at why he’s like this.

tanizaki - extremely..... protective......... i just wrote about this ik but yeah uh. tanizaki is protective to the point it’s scary and he’s a danger to others. aside from that, tanizaki often seems very anxious, though he’s usually quite subtle about it. like i said earlier, it usually blends into the situation- if he’s in danger, of course he’s anxious. but, it seems that even when the danger has passed, he has lingering worries about whatever just occurred (getting scared at the mention of yosano’s treatment, desperately trying to find a way around punishment for disobeying fukuzawa). i feel like there’s more but my mind is blanking sorry y’all 😰

kyouka - emotionless? again she definitely has emotions, but similar to fukuzawa, rarely ever shows them. mainly what i mean by this is that she has a very underwhelming reaction to everything. if in danger, she won’t hesitate to do whatever, even if it’s violent, all without an expression. when bad stuff happens, she also doesn’t react much, unless atsushi is in danger or smth. one underlying extreme fear she has is being “evil” i guess? or just fearing the mafia. she absolutely doesn’t want to go back to the mafia, would rather die than kill again, and often has openly fearful reactions when faced with mafia members. her lack of fear and blank expression is probably a result of being desensitized to violence and also bad trauma from the mafia B(

katai - tired and isolated. seeing as how katai literally works from his futon, it’s safe to say that he enjoys sleeping and to some degree is lazy. he doesn’t really do anything, which also is a part of his isolation. i wouldn’t say antisocial behaviors since he isn’t aggressive, but basically he avoids social interactions like the plague. he never leaves his house, is horrible at talking to people, and is completely fine being cooped up in a small space for a week with no human contact. i’m sure people enjoy their alone time and sitting in bed.... but uhhhh....... yeah literally living in bed for a week with the only human contact being having take out dropped off? kinda extreme. his less evident trait goes hand in hand with social isolation- anxiety, or more specifically, social anxiety. what we mainly see of katai is during the small pre-cannibalism arc, which also shows his social anxiety. had the chapter not included going outside and interacting with girls, it would likely be unnoticeable. he is comfortable at home and doesn’t have that much of an issue with facing people and talking to them. however, he was very awkward in his interactions with higuchi (talking to her and pointing another way), as well as not knowing how to confess his love for gin.

akutagawa - i’m so sorry in advance, akutagawa’s is rlly long bc he is kinda just. extreme. so uh, desire to get praise/prove himself, and few but extreme emotions. akutagawa’s most defining trait is his obsession with being acknowledged by dazai. unfortunately, it doesn’t end there- his very character extreme, a constant black and white fluctuation with no gray in between. there isn’t much of a spectrum with him, as it will be all or nothing. this applies to his view of others, view on the world, himself, his emotions, and actions.

his emotions have been stated to be none at all, or intense anger/hatred and deep respect. his view of others seems to also be on opposite ends of the spectrum. either he likes them & respects them deeply, or he despises them. i can’t think of anyone who is in a neutral zone with him,, maybe he’s indifferent about some people, but i believe the majority of people fall into those two categories. then there are his actions, which are overly brutal even in the mafia. he uses excessive force and slaughter, aiming for flashy crimes to get dazai’s attention.

his view on the world doesn’t fluctuate as much, instead seeming to be fixated in one view- the world is cruel and harsh, and there are weak people and strong people. to him, the natural order of things is that the weak must die to make way for the strong. he also applies himself to a similar belief- either he is stronger, better, and more capable than everyone else, or he is weak, a failure, and would rather die than face defeat. extreme!

mori - lack of impulse control and being an organized mess. by organized mess i mean that he thinks a lot, is smart, and leads the mafia,, buut he also seems not the best at some tasks (darts. professionalism. being a doctor?? didn’t he lose his medical license?) mori’s bad impulse control can be tied into his disarray kinda. this is hard to word but it’s kind of like when he’s presented with an issue, he immediately and casually defaults onto an extreme solution (three way war? okay let’s kill the president of the ada!) while i’m sure these things have been thought out beforehand, it’s his sheer wack presentation of things that make him look immature, irresponsible, and kinda bad at his job.

chuuya - loyalty and irritability/aggression. while i do not believe we have seen the extent of his loyalty, it is worth noting that even after four years he trusts dazai with his life, despite dazai being a dishonest and irresponsible bastard. not trustworthy imo, but chuuya’s lingering feelings of loyalty do hold out. though not full trust and likely expecting something to go wrong, he still ends up trusting dazai. otherwise, chuuya is shown to be very loyal to the mafia, going measures to make sure dazai wouldn’t frame him to get kicked out. then there’s his irritability and aggression,, he’s shown to easily get angry and start fights with little provocation. some underlying(?) traits are his confidence (and sometimes arrogance), and his uhh,, diplomatic abilities?? idk what to call it, but if needed, he will calm down and focus to talk things out and make deals. most of these traits i believe can be linked to his old gang and possibly how they treated him due to his status as a powerful ability user. some of these also don’t seem extreme- he’s not extremely diplomatic, after all. buut these traits strongly contrast each other to make the switch more evident and dramatic.

higuchi - obsessive and stalkerish behaviors. personally i believe that this behaviors are rooted in a mixture of anxiety, loyalty, and idolization. i don’t know that higuchi has explained her infatuation with akutagawa, but it’s likely that she just admires him a lot. she also is shown to have a crush on him, which leads to the ideas that she’s obsessive and stalkerish. while i don’t deny those behaviors, i think that they’re mainly loyalty and anxiety dependent on idolization- except blown out of proportion and so extreme that she seems like a stalker. as she is loyal and deeply respects akutagawa, she also cares for him and his well-being considerably, as shown by the many times she interjects when his health is at risk. she is very, very anxious about his health, which likely is the cause for some of her obsessive behaviors (following him everywhere, trying to assist him constantly even when he says no, risking her life for him, etc). however, some isn’t all, so some of her stalkerish behaviors are genuinely rooted in a crush. but again it seems like this crush is just rlly fuckin extreme which is why she’s so persistent and radical in her attempts to help him/win him over.

kajii - curiosity. idk that this one needs a lot of explaining? his main focuses of curiosity are of god and science, but alone i don’t believe those things are extreme obsessions- he isn’t shown to praise god religiously (haha) like a certain someone, and obsession with science is already a kind of fixation on learning and curiosity, even outside of bsd. the entire concept of science is the study of the unknown. curiosity is a necessity if you are to be interested in science; its basis is observing, creating hypotheses, designing experiments, and then testing said hypotheses several times before compiling results and data into a conclusion. kajii’s fascination with experimenting is rooted in his desire to observe what happens, gather results, and learn from the experience. he is inherently curious about many things, but yes, most notably science and god. as for why..... no clue tbh.

kouyou - it’s kind of a control thing, whether it be with controlling/leading people, or being in control of tasks/responsibilities. there’s also a protective nature displayed, most notably of kyouka. in that sense, kouyou demands an amount of control over people and situations to execute action. her appearance also gives the impression that she is very specific and selective with her attire and how she presents herself- choices she has made, not mandated by anyone else. kouyou holds the position of one of the mafia’s five executives, and there’s nothing really to suggest that she is a bad leader or that she abuses her power.

while sometimes misguided and blinded by her own experiences, kouyou’s intentions are often to protect, help, and teach, which are not bad at all. her execution of these could be worked on, but at heart she is trying to do good. currently this intense protective nature is fixed on kyouka, though it is alluded that there may have been a somewhat similar relationship with chuuya. as for why she is this way, she has already explained it with her past relationship in which her lover was killed while trying to escape with her. she doesn’t want that to happen again to those she loves.

q - he’s a mix of stuff, but mainly intense switches in mood/mindset and chaos. there’s also an underlying desire to be loved and to be not used, or “cursed”. q holds the belief that his ability is a curse that he never asked for (understandably), and has expressed that he wishes that he wasn’t forced to use his ability. paired with this wish to not be used is his wish for love- while never explicitly stated by him, he reacted very badly to being told that god is real but doesn’t love him. however, he probably wishes for more than just god’s love. q’s intense loneliness and wishing for someone to care for him can likely be attributed to the fact that he is only 14, has no friends, and seemingly spends all of his time locked up somewhere in the port mafia dungeons because he’s too dangerous.

on the more evident side, q has extreme mood switches; he can bounce back and forth in between not wanting to hurt anyone or use his ability and then hating everyone and cursing everyone. his expression of these emotions are usually extreme, too- crying, sobbing, and begging can morph quickly into screaming, howling, and cursing others. these mood swings and hatred for others can also be attributed to his status in the mafia. it’s only natural for him to hate people when he only sees himself being used. his ability also is on the extreme side. both in what it is (mind control) and how it’s triggered (someone hurting him) speaks lengths of exactly how extreme his ability is. another smaller extreme that just occurred to me is his pain tolerance. he can be seen joyously causing intense injuries to himself which indicates that smaller and self-inflicted injuries are completely manageable for him.

oda - oda is weirdly like the opposite of what this post is about. there’s nothing really extreme about oda, unless you want to say he’s extremely bland? (i’m sorry hear me out) the entire thing with oda is his lack of emotions or opinions, and while i’m certain he has them, he very rarely expresses them. fun fact but he literally never smiled the entire dark era?? even with the kids 😭 okay but other than his extreme... lack of expressing feelings and opinions.. i think he’s very protective/concerned for others. he of course cares extremely about the orphans in his care, and he also cares for ango and dazai. i think that it can be said that oda’s main extreme is his fucking uh,, adopting orphan children. cause if i’m not mistaken he adopts like 15 kids in beast. he’s a serial orphan adopter. as for why, i don’t rlly know. i can guess that his stoic nature is some mix of trust issues and desensitized reactions to death/killing. under all that he’s strongly dedicated to his goals and future (caring for the kids and writing his novel).

hirotsu - honestly. not sure. he’s actually not that extreme. but, to me, his “face value” traits would be that he’s uptight and overly dedicated to tasks, though not to the extent that kunikida is. he was shown to harp on tachihara for being a few minutes late, killed an entire warehouse of people for stealing from the mafia, and tended to take successfully playing dazai’s video game a bit too serious, as he very formally apologized to dazai for his failure. he also seems to be dedicated to the task of supporting yokohama as best as he can, as he stays loyal and productive in the mafia even at his age. i would say that he’s loyal for staying that long (and he is), but he’s not extremely loyal, as he is shown doing random favors for dazai. however, these favors are usually to help support yokohama, so i guess he’s extremely..... uh supportive and trusting?? idk man hirotsu is just not that intense. intensely mysterious and cryptic maybe.

gin - though not exactly a character trait, gin is selectively mute. selective mutism, though normally a childhood anxiety disorder, can persist in late teens and adulthood. most likely, gin is mute by choice- and selective mutism is on the more severe end of the anxiety spectrum. while normal anxiety could cause someone to be shy, anxiety around others that’s so intense that the person can’t speak? yeah. there are, of course, other causes, but based on her interactions with others, it can be inferred that she chooses to stay silent out of fear or anxiety. she is capable of talking in select situations, and she can talk normally to some people. otherwise, she stays silent mostly, which makes her most outstanding trait her muteness. otherwise we haven’t seen enough to say if she has any other extremes. i also don’t have a definitive reason for why she’s mute.

tachihara - tachihara is another character with not many extreme aspects. what stands out most to me is probably his punk and carefree attitude. while he does easily get angry and violent, he can be just as quick to dismiss it if the situation calls for it. he is shown to be a bit more relaxed than his fellow mafia members, and he seems more into having fun with his job than being proper about things. his appearance also gives off vibes of a punk kid with an attitude, probably a mixture of kinda-spiky light hair, loose shirt, and weird fluffy cropped jacket. his attitude and appearance screams laid back to me. plus he dual wields in a weirdly casual way? he doesn’t have two guns to make his shots count and take on more enemies, he has two guns because he’s trigger happy and doesn’t care how bad his aim is. with two guns you don’t need good aim, you’ll eventually hit your target 😎 not enough known about him to say why he’s like this.

ace - not a lot is known about him since he existed for like two chapters BUT. ace is shown to be very greedy and ambitious. he frequently lies and plots to backstab others. if he’s an “extreme” anything, he’s an extreme snake, liar, and manipulative bastard. he also has extremely slimy vibes but that’s probably just me associating all liars and manipulators into super slimy feels. as for why,, yeah no idea? he’s just extremely greedy and willing to step on whoever to get what he wants. that seems to be it though.

the guild

fitzgerald - extreme greed and determination. fitzgerald, while already wealthy, seems to seek more wealth at all times. even if it looks like he is bargaining, offering a large amount of money for something, or even randomly gifting people, he has an ulterior motive. fitzgerald is a businessman and would not strike deals unless they were ultimately profitable for him in the long run. his greed can sometimes be subtle or played off as something “good”, such as when he confronted that one businessman. the businessman admitted to the crime, attempted to pay off fitzgerald into silence, but was backstabbed in the end as fitzgerald provided evidence against him to the court despite the money given.

another one of fitzgerald’s biggest traits is his persistent and determined nature. he is shown to not give up on his goals, no matter what the cost is. he wants to revive his daughter and help his wife? then he has no issues invading a foreign country, waging a gifted war against their gifted organizations, and willingly cursed ⅕ of yokohama with q’s ability, despite the fact that they were all innocent bystanders. as he stated, he was willing to raze yokohama to the ground to get the book. when defeated, it took a bit to convince him to try again, but once he decided to go for success again, it was almost simple for him to regain his status and wealth.

as for why he is so greedy, that isn’t really touched on or explained. his determination and independence can be chalked up to his “rules of success” or whatever. some of his underlying extremities could be social incompetence/ignorance, which honestly kind of makes up a lot of his character? beneath the absolute rich boy is an absolute ignorant rich boy. he seemed to struggle to understand why nathaniel felt responsible for mitchell. he also talks to alcott very flippantly despite her nervous reactions to him (and frequently ignores her warning to not follow dangerous plans). he doesn’t know what it’s like being poor, seen when he just walked into another person’s room in a hotel, thinking that he also owned that room.

montgomery - extremely playful and eager. the eagerness and playfulness kind of go hand in hand, as she is very excitable and loves to use her ability to mess with people and play games. this is evident in how over the top her speech is and how emphasized her actions are (the creepy big smile, her gesturing & clapping, etc.) her eagerness is mainly focused on winning and catching people in her game. these actions tend to blend into her character more than an intensified trait. an underlying strong desire is her desperation to fit in and have a place to belong, which is tied into her over-eagerness to win and do well. this is a result of her upbringing in an orphanage where she was unwanted. having no place to call home, she has fixated on creating a place where she can stay and fit in with others; particularly with other ability users, as she was outcast for having an ability when no one else did.

steinbeck - though not as extreme as some other traits, steinbeck is above average in attributes like determination and a lack of empathy for strangers. his determination, for lack of a better word, will be used more as an umbrella term for his loyalty, thoroughness, and efficiency in his work. when needed, he will finish tasks assigned quickly and without skipping details. he is good at sticking to plans or an order and does his job well. despite disagreeing with fitzgerald’s ambitions and methods, he stays with the guild and even plans to lead it after its fall. his motivations are also rooted in his love and loyalty to his family. however, his intense thoroughness and determination also seems to lead to decreased empathy for others. he willingly went with the emergency plan, despite his ability causing q to curse ⅕ of innocent civilians in yokohama. he was also ready to sacrifice haruno and naomi for the purpose of fulfilling his mission. an underlying (and not as intense) trait is how laid back and casual he is. despite his jobs being cruel and sacrificing others, he does it easily and with a smile.

lovecraft - very very tired. being tired sometimes is normal if you didn’t sleep well, but lovecraft is constantly exhausted and on the verge of falling asleep. basically every scene with him includes him talking about how tired he is, or how much he wants to sleep. there were also instances of him briefly falling asleep in inappropriate scenes, such as when kunikida shot him and during the fight with dazai and chuuya. after the guild fell and his contract with fitzgerald expired, he immediately jumped into the ocean to sleep. aside from being incredibly tired, lovecraft has a few other feelings (though not as severe): being hungry and feeling anxious. hunger isn’t mentioned as much as being tired, nor is his anxiety; however, lovecraft has expressed that he feels anxious around people, as he never really interacts with them or goes out in public. before he was in japan with steinbeck, he apparently hadn’t been outside in four years. another extreme shut in! a bonus thing that we don’t know much about, but lovecraft seems to be bound to contracts he makes; even if he wants to do something else, he must “fulfill [his] contract”. assuming that he has no choice but to do what the contract requires, once he signs a contract, that’s a very powerful thing going on.

hawthorne - well uh. incredibly religious, and extremely dedicated/loyal. the religious part is arguably the biggest part of his character; he is a pastor, dresses like one, carries around a bible, and uses his rosary to activate his ability (which takes the form of verses from the bible). his purpose in life, and in the guild, is to pass on judgement to sinners and punish them. it is his strongest motivator, and he mainly spends his time speaking to god, reading the bible, and deciding how to use his ability to follow god’s will. all religion related- he’s incredibly dedicated. he is also loyal to margaret mitchell, to the point that it diverted him from god. his desire to save her and help restore her honor was also a big thing for him; eventually, this goal overtook following religion, which is a considerable achievement. i say that it overtook religion because he began working with fyodor in order to help mitchell- that was a mistake, as he currently is brainwashed into following fyodor’s orders without ever thinking on his own. he is no longer using his ability to follow his life’s work and to follow god. more underlying traits of his include arrogance and a lack of expressions. basically, doesn’t express much, though his tone tends to be arrogant a lot of the time.

mitchell - with much unknown about her and little screen time, it’s a bit difficult to peg any extremes she has; however, she does possess a lot of arrogance that affects several aspects of her life. first and foremost, this arrogance tends to interfere with her relationships. mitchell is quick to start fights over petty things, automatically placing herself above others and asserting it quite forcefully. secondly, her arrogance disrupts how she acts and perceives others. as stated before, she believes herself to be above everyone else. however, beyond simply stating that, mitchell complains about having to do work when she believes that she is above that, too. she thinks that everyone else should be doing the work, and was shown to get angry at hawthorne when he wasn’t giving orders on the ship. another instance of this arrogance is her severely underestimating enemies, and becoming in critical danger as a result. a less noticeable trait is her honor, sort of? though it seems similar to her arrogance and inflated ego, mitchell is obsessed with restoring honor to her family, to the point that she would risk her life for it.

poe - hoo boy. poe has a few extremes: severe social anxiety/isolation, competitiveness, and a self esteem issue (sort of). poe faced ranpo in a battle of wits some time in the past, and when defeated, apparently fell into a deep depression. normally, someone would accept their failure and move on, but poe instead gained a lot of self-doubt and negative emotions. to recover from that fall, he became obsessed with facing off with ranpo again and winning. he is extremely dedicated and competitive, as he prepared to face ranpo again for six fuckin years. he is stated to be reclusive and shy, talking quietly and hiding his face with his hair. his profile says he dislikes noisy crowds and “being invited to a party and ignored by the only person he knows”. in short, he is not one for socializing or being the center of attention.

some of his underlying traits are his mood swings or conflicting feelings about others. though they aren’t super severe, it is worth noting that it happens quite frequently- he was confident when facing ranpo, then switched to a very depressed and sullen mood when ranpo didn’t recognize him. he was happy when he believed he beat ranpo- again, quickly transformed to intense disappointment and feeling of defeat when he realized that he lost. his conflicting feelings of others is mainly evident in his weird relationship with ranpo. he appears excited and overjoyed to watch ranpo use super deduction, but when asked if he was a fan, replied that they were rivals. when he trapped chuuya and ranpo in the book, he laughed in delight at potentially trapping and winning against ranpo in this way. immediately after, he was struck with the possibility of ranpo actually dying in the book, to which he got quiet and a bit scared about.

twain - another character with a lot of arrogance? but also a lot of excited reactions and constantly looking to mess around and have fun. he is shown to be very laid back and casual about his job, not getting disappointed when faced with defeat; rather, he laughs in excitement about someone being talented enough to escape his sniping. most scenes with him include inappropriate bouts of jokes and requests to engage in silly activities. however, he dislikes being ignored or left behind, so he tends to go with the flow anyway. more regarding his arrogance; twain believes his ability and talent to be great. his last appearance includes him commenting on how he is going to go home and finish writing his autobiography. not much is known about him, so it’s unclear why he is significant enough to write a book about. plus, his likes list himself and praise as the first two. a less evident trait of his, referenced in his likes and dislikes, is what he likes to do. sniping, of course, seems to be his favorite- this is likely because he likes adventure (and probably dangerous tasks/jobs), and dislikes plain or boring work. he likely gets bored easily, similar to ranpo, and needs an engaging and interesting task to entertain him.

alcott - most obviously, alcott has severe anxiety, though mainly it’s related to the social aspects of her life. this timidness and fear of talking to others dominates most of her character, and when thinking of alcott, the first thought that comes to mind is “oh, that really anxious and shy tactician.” alcott, for an unknown reason, relies heavily on approval from others, mainly fitzgerald. she has low self esteem, which also contributes to her fear of talking to strangers; she will run and hide if other people confront her. she only seems to feel more comfortable with fitzgerald, her boss, and poe, her fellow shy writer friend. other than her anxiety, alcott is also incredibly intelligent. it’s overshadowed by her “face value” trait, but is still very prominent. her work as a tactician means that she plans, but even her plans are the epitome of intense. using her ability allows her to write packets of potential outcomes to situations she really has no way of predicting. she also writes what to do should certain problems arise, though her cautious nature appears again as she often strongly recommends that fitzgerald does nothing.

the rats/decay of angels

fyodor - fyodor is another kind of tough one, but i’d say that it’s a mix of intelligence and composed attitude. another character with a very limited range of emotions- iirc there was one time he looked surprised, occasionally looks annoyed or confused, sometimes smiles, but mostly has no expression at all. he has dulled reactions to external stimuli, similar to kyouka, and likely hides his reactions or feelings like fukuzawa. one thing that is known, however, is that he is one of the genius characters and that he is constantly plotting and thinking. while he may not react to things happening around them, i am sure he notices them, takes them into account, and sometimes incorporates them into his complex plans. his ability to predict things rivals alcott’s, to the point that he predicts what everyone will do, how to trick them, and how to exploit the mistakes they will make. unlike alcott, his ability does not allow him to maximize his genius and complex plotting; all of his thinking and planning is done in the moment or before his plans are set into action, which is still impressive on its own. as for why he is like this, completely unknown. he also has a god complex, different from kajii and hawthorne’s religious beliefs. not only is his entire motivation to “cleanse the world of sinners” (ability users), but he has called himself god before. his religious beliefs seem to go beyond simply believing in god or following god’s word; no, he is god, and his job is to kill all ability users.

goncharov - goncharov didn’t show up much, but from what we saw of him, his main extreme is his dedication and loyalty. specifically, goncharov is very dedicated to fyodor- he underwent surgery to have “[his] unhappiness removed”, which makes him appear constantly smiling and declaring how happy he became with fyodor’s help. he is almost obsessive in his loyalty to fyodor, calling him “master” and apparently having similar interests (likes classical music, implied to have tea with fyodor, etc.)

pushkin - again, didn’t show up much, but from what little we saw, he is very ambitious. he found joy in the way his ability was used in the cannibalism arc, stating later on that it was a genius technique and he would find it fun to do it again but with prominent world leaders. ambition is one thing and desiring to cause chaos similar to the cannibalism arc but with world leaders… yeah he must get really bored.

mushitarou - though not quite a character trait, mushitarou is extremely… clean? particular? just by looking at him, you get the impression that he is self absorbed, probably grooms himself a lot (look at his HAIR), and that he is confident. he is also shown to be very demanding, which is where his “particular” thing comes in. he requires everything to be done a certain way, with very specific and high standards. with his ability, he also believes himself to be unbeatable, though this cockiness may have led to him being caught by ranpo. fr if he’s sitting there yelling how he’s gonna get away with it, does he expect to still get away with it?? anyway. i don’t really know why he’s like this or other underlying traits, as our info on him is still pretty limited. i guess he cares about his friend a FUCK TON.

gogol - oh boy. gogol really likes freedom and being a clown. now, being a clown seems like a weird kind of extreme we’re talkin about… but i think that this trait is mainly just emphasized with how outgoing and excitable he is. he dresses like a clown, loves playing weird tricks and games, and frequently gives people “quizzes”. his body language also characterizes him as moving around excessively. overall just a mega clown. then there’s his love of freedom. his recently released character profile states that he dislikes “brainwashing, subordination, being unfree”. all his dislikes are tied into each other and definitely tied into his odd obsession with being free- hell, he even died saying, “this is a prison break! over the innate brainwashing known as morality, i choose the freedom of my soul!” basically, a reality where he must follow what others want is too confining and he would rather die to free his soul than continue living that way. pretty extreme!

sigma - uh my boy has only existed for like 7 chapters but. we’ll go with he’s extremely secretive and also babey. so, with the secrecy, it’s more like he has very bad amnesia and most information is unknown about him. real name, backstory, age, birthday, weight, height, ability name- none of that is clear, so he is either keeping it secret or doesn’t remember (possibly a combination of both.) from what we have seen of sigma, though, he is very kind and considerate of his customers and other people. he is formal and protective of not only his casino, but those staying at his casino. he has spent a lot of time memorizing everyone’s names and info about them for the sake of maximizing their safety and enjoyment. for being a member of a terrorist organization, sigma is a sweetheart. his kindness and innocence are more traits that blend into his character more, so it isn’t as evidently an “extreme”- but i do want to say that he has extreme memory issues and for being in a terrorist organization, he is incredibly sweet, which seems somewhat out of place.

others

ango - ango is very, very hardworking. another dedicated madlad. in dead apple, ango was shown to have willingly pulled several all nighters writing reports on the incident. when we were first introduced to him in the mafia, he was shown to be going above and beyond with his job; rather than writing a list of the people who died, ango wrote out a biography for each person, basically. he was uptight and against slacking in his job, attempting to refuse dazai and oda’s offer to go drinking, and very against being hugged by them when they stank of death. a bit of a clean freak with how uptight and orderly he was. he held a high ranking position in the mafia as an informant, where he handled much of their sensitive information and deals. his job also required him to work as a triple agent- initially in the special abilities department, then sent to infiltrate the mafia, and then in the mafia was sent to infiltrate mimic to work as a double agent. overall, his job(s) required a lot of him and he gladly overworked himself in all of them.

gide - he’s kinda weirdly obsessed with a specific goal? so less a personality trait or even mindset that is amplified, but a strange goal where he, as the leader of mimic, was determined to lead himself and his men into battle with worthy opponents who could kill them. their sheer determination to fight others with the goal of dying, basically a suicide mission, was what stood out. plus, gide was willing to go to horrifying extremes to provoke oda into fighting him. he believed oda to be the only one capable and worthy enough to kill him in battle, and once he realized oda refused to fight him, kidnapped and killed oda’s orphans, essentially angering oda into fighting and killing hm, also killing oda in the process. so still pretty extreme, but also extremely specific.

shibusawa - shibusawa’s extreme traits are boredom, intelligence, and collecting. intelligence is actually kind of dubious, as we don’t know to what extent his intellect is, but it is implied that he at least believes himself to be a genius and in some way or another, superior to everyone around him. he thinks of everyone else as boring, life as boring, and as such is constantly searching to cure his boredom. this boredom is probably his strongest motivator for most things, such as conducting the dragon’s head conflict. this boredom also might be an influence on his collector tendencies, as i believe they work in tandem in his ability use. bored of everything, he finds it interesting to collect things- his ability allows him to separate ability from ability user, so of course he finds it entertaining to watch people duel their abilities, his reward being another ability gem in his large collection. his collection is massive, and seeing as how all of his gems are from getting ability users to kill themselves with their abilities,,, yikes shibu that’s really intense and hardcore 😰

and with that, i think that’s about the end of this post (thank god). i decided against including the hunting dogs in this, as there is not enough known about them to determine what their extremes are and why. also its 5 am and im kinda lazy :( i wanna say that this post is also kind of like a spectrum. almost every character has a trait/goal/mindset/habit that’s intense and kind of characterizes a lot of the character; but, some characters are less extreme than others, particularly characters that don’t convey a lot of expressions. and like i tried to explain earlier, some traits don’t stand out that much and seem more like they’re a part of the character. not every “extreme” written here is the level of extreme that akutagawa’s obsession is, for instance.

a last note to end on is that i wanna talk about intelligence in bsd. it seems like a pretty all-or-nothing situation for the most part; either a character is of average intelligence or they’re a fucking genius. now, most “average” characters are still witty, innovative, and capable of basic detective skills, but there is still a large difference in say, kenji and fyodor. both are pretty dangerous and extreme in their own aspects, but in terms of intelligence, fyodor has kenji far outmatched. i’m gonna rank the different geniuses of bsd and their intelligence type. this is entirely personal opinion btw

ranpo- on top of having amazing intuition and deduction, ranpo is excellent at analyzing small details in a short amount of time. his sheer speed at completely solving impossible cases, even with little evidence, is what makes him so remarkable. he also is pretty good at being a tactician, though his strength mainly lies in solving mysteries.

a tie between dazai and fyodor. maybe fyodor a bit smarter tho. both are incredible tacticians, and their strengths lie in analyzing what their enemies are plotting. they are good at reading people and figuring out how to best use them, and lying/faking their way to get what they want. dazai is also a pretty good detective.

i am sad to place alcott at third bc tbh she might be a two or tied with ranpo. alcott is fucking brilliant as a tactician and her ability allows her to create complex and detailed plans, correctly able to plot out every possibility her enemies may take. she hasn’t been shown to have any particular skills in reading people or crime solving, which is why she is placed third.

the debatables: don’t actually know the extent of their genius, but they’re apparently pretty smart and capable. mori, shibusawa, and ango?? i feel like im bsing my way now im sorry LMAO

honorable mention: katai

alright that is all im out. thank u for reading this hell i didn’t mean for this to be 8,000 words but its fine. probably. originally was gonna do shorter explanations for everyone and then reblog with more in depth but fuck it, its all here.

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jess-the-vampire · 4 years

Note

Sometimes, people in social media can be more sensitive than in real life. If I often face those individuals, I would be very discouraged and just want to stay out of conversations from the internet. So, I really admire people like you can still stand your ground with reasonable opinions against something like that from time to time. Hope you have a good day! (Sent you an invisible hug. Please receive if you need!)

i know i shouldn’t be so bummed over it, especially since i had no malicious intent whatsoever.

I dunno, i don’t really enjoy being put in a position where i do something with no harmful intent and then everyone turns that into something completely different.

And i don’t like upsetting people either, especially people who admire or like me.

it gives me serious vibes from when i was super in the AT fandom, and that’s not a good thing.

if i had been asked to delete the post, i would’ve, but that’s not what happened.

i just reblogged a post i thought was funny, that was it, i was just looking for fun stuff to reblogg for some levity.

And i feel like i have every reason to be frustrated in this situation because it sounds to me the anger is more directed to the blog then to me because i didn’t reblogg it to promote any of these ideas and yet all the anger is directed towards me as if i was the one who ran it and had ill intentions.

like if the post is an issue and they think it says this and that then just ask me to remove it nicely cause it makes you uncomfortable, we didn’t need to get into accusing me of trying to defend this kinda content or liking the ship even though there’s nothing to base that much off of.

I was just kinda upset at being accused of something that wasn’t true and when i was trying to tell them they were basing this off very little they didn’t want to listen and then blocked me without really letting me explain.

i dunno, i just think it’s a stretch to accuse someone of promoting some kinda agenda just because on the og post there was a ship in the ship tag when the post itself has nothing directly related to it.

it’s like if i walked up to one of my friends who reblogged a conversation post between marco and hekapoo that was about them talking about toast, and then told them they promoted pedophilla, and they shouldn't ship it, because marcapoo was one of the tags used on the og post without any real idea why they actually reblogged it or consideration of how they actually felt on the ship itself.

I would’ve preferred to be allowed a proper conversation on it as adults, but not much i can do if someone would prefer to block me and never listen to anything i had to say.

look, if i did something wrong, i’ll own up to it, i just think it got way too blown out of proportion and was something that could’ve been wrapped up if i was even allowed to have an opinion on the situation.

if i had been doing what they were accusing me for, they’d have all the rights to be mad, but i feel like this is getting too accusatory over something very minor and very vague.

and between that and not even having the ages factually correct, i just don’t think it was necessary to go off on me like that.

I don’t like getting involved in this stuff honestly, but i at least want to be better when it happens and i’m involved if possible. Standing up for myself when i’m being put down for no good reason, i need to learn to do it better and more often when it happens.

I want to have a good day too, i need more lighter days honestly.

there’s already enough bad stuff going on with my life, i don’t want more.

thank you though, it’s sweet, i appreciate it.

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whelvenwings · 6 years

Text

Another Mango in the Fruit Bowl

Destiel, 1.6k.

If ye seek the cause of this fic, turn thine eyes to @crxstalcas.

*********

Do not rush to judge someone unless … [their] fruits reveal the truth.

- Israelmore Ayivor

What is the worst thing that you can imagine happening to you? No, worse than that. Worse, still, than that. Whatever you are picturing, it isn’t bad enough.

Picture now your body shifting… compacting. Compressing.

Sweetening.

You struggle, but it’s in vain. Your body isn’t under your control. You’re hollering and screaming and no sound is being made, no one can hear you. They walk past you as though everything were completely normal. They ignore you. To them, you might as well be another brick in the wall.

Another… mango in the fruit bowl.

Picture it now, if you can. Close your eyes. No, open them, you need to read. I’m telling you to reopen them but we both know you never closed them for any prolonged amount of time in the first place, you anarchist, you absolute legend.

Imagine waking up as your own worst enemy.

Imagine waking up yucky.

Imagine waking up… as a gross gross gross groooooooooooooooooooss fruit.

***

“Dean,” said Castiel, “the worst has happened.”

“Oh god,” said Dean, “I know.”

They sat in their beds - and just for a moment, they were silent, as though all that was wrong and terrible could be hushed to nothing if they only did not speak.

Light filtered in through the motel window, soft and willowy light. It brushed tender fingers over the scene, an ethereally careful touch that seemed to make miracles of the dust on top of the chip-screened television, the brown shabbiness of the carpet, the dismal pattern of the wallpaper.

The shiny, shiny skin of two fruits, sitting with their tops poking out of the blankets on two twin beds.

On the left, a mango.

On the right, a banana.

“Dean,” said Castiel once more.

“Yeah.”

“Should we do something about this.”

Dean, who was a banana, thought carefully.

“I hate bananas,” he said.

“Bananas are delicious and I envy the sweet, delicious, angelic body in which you have become enveloped while maintaining the full power of speech and rational thought (besides your hatred for bananas!) for reasons unbeknownst to us,” Castiel said. “While I… O TEMPORA, O MORES… have become IMPRISONED, nay SHACKLED, within a BEFOULMENT… WHAT IS THIS CREEPING DEATH I FEEL COME OVER ME… LO, I AM BROUGHT DOWN, THUS IS THE ANGEL CASTIEL ENDED.”

“Shhh,” Dean said mildly. “Mangoes are like my favourite?”

“They suck,” Castiel said shortly. Much more shortly than usual. He was like one twentieth of his normal size because he was a mango. Yeah, I actually went and looked that up, and that’s about accurate if the mango is a large one (and you know it’s large (; ). And the first result I got when I typed “Mango size guide” was details on the clothing brand Mango’s sizes of jeans. Why won’t Google immediately cater to something more relatable like needing to know what proportion of his usual size a man would be if he changed into a sentient, well-spoken, angry fruit. You want to know the best part? I guessed it would be one twentieth and I was RIGHT. HAVE I BEEN A MANGO MATHS SAVANT THIS ENTIRE TIME.

“Anyway, enough of that,” Dean said, getting this story back on track.

“I hate being a mango,” said Castiel.

“I hate being a banana,” Dean said. “They’re icky. I should be more worried than I am, though. I’m like surprisingly zen about this whole experience.”

“It’s because bananas are good,” Castiel said.

“No,” said Dean. “Not that.”

“It’s because the high levels of potassium are making you feel K.”

“...” said Dean.

“K is short for OK, as some hip teens use it,” Castiel said. “And it is also the chemical symbol for potassium, which is found in bananas.”

“I hate everything about this,” Dean said, “but I accept that punning is a necessary evil.”

They sat some more, and thought about life.

“Oh,” said Castiel, “I weep for my old vessel.”

“Me too,” Dean said. “I mean, for my own. Not for yours. Obviously.”

“Bit harsh,” Castiel said. “I did just lose that. Show a bit of compassion, you acolyte who worships at the altar of cruel honesty.”

“I’m trying to be tough and not show you that I have feelings about you,” Dean explained helpfully.

“You have FEELINGS about me?” Castiel gasped.

“What - oh - oh DARN - oh NO,” Dean said. “I have blown my cover.”

The sun set. It had been a long day of sitting and talking about being fruit and having feelings. They were very much mid-conversation really but you know how it is when you gotta nap more than you gotta discuss the way you feel. They were both very tired. They slept.

***

“Good morning,” said Castiel. “The worst has still happened.”

“It’s like ongoing,” Dean agreed.

They were both still in their hated fruity bodies.

“You know what it is,” Dean said. “I know why I’m so chill about being a banana even though I hate bananas. It’s because I hate being myself all the time. So like, what’s changed.”

“Dean,” Castiel said. “I didn’t… I’ve never heard you say that before.”

My goddamn laptop just died because I didn’t bother plugging it in, since I thought this would be a short piece of writing and it’s now close to one thousand words. I just had to reboot my laptop and watch the swirling loading screen for three solid minutes, all while knowing that what I was waiting for was the opportunity to finish a fic in which Castiel is a mango and Dean is a banana. Like it’s not hugely ridiculous until you think about all the other things I could possibly be doing. I could be messaging a friend. Walking a dog. Baking some cookies in a pleasantly-coloured apron. Sprucing up my herb garden by planting out some mint. Watching a bit of TV. Napping. And yet here I am, six years after I first binge-watched this one American genre TV show, writing a story in which two of its principle characters are botanical freaking wonders who are about to confess their love to each other in a meaningful way. Oh yeah, I’m going there. Give me STRENGTH.

“It - well,” Dean said. “I’m not - I don’t like, usually talk about it. I think being a banana is kinda making me a little more chatty. But, uh, yeah.”

“Why would you hate yourself?” Castiel said.

“I mean, look at me, man,” Dean said.

There was a pause.

“I mean, OK, not right now,” Dean said. “Picture me as a human man and then look at me. I’m just… a guy. I’m just a dude, I’m just - I’m just some asshole, you know? But I’m the one who has to decide on the fate of the freaking universe every other day. I’ve killed so many things and made so many crappy decisions and screwed up the way things were supposed to go and I had no right. I’ve never had a right. It’s always been way too much on me. Even when it was just Sam who was my responsibility, I screwed that up often enough. I’ve never been good enough at anything I do and somehow it’s always still me who’s gotta do it.”

He fell silent.

Castiel didn’t say anything, letting the words settle. He knew the rawness, the carved-outness Dean would be feeling.

“Dean,” he said eventually, “Dean, you - you don’t get it at all, do you?”

“What?” Dean sounded strangely young in that single word, that little moment. Like a green banana.

“You don’t get it. You’re a person who’s been put into impossible situations throughout the whole of your life, right from the beginning. You think you were old enough to take care of your brother safely? You think you were strong enough to avert the apocalypse a thousand times over with no fallout? You have been thrown into these scenarios over and over and over. You hate yourself for not winning in no-win situations.”

“But - Cas, look -”

“No. Stop telling me to look at you. You look at you. Look at yourself. Look at yourself. What do you have? You have a world that’s still spinning. You have a life, you have a future. You have your brother, a brother who cares about you. You have an angel,” Castiel said, “who has feelings for you.” He breathed out. He’s a mango. I don’t care. HE BREATHED OUT. “You shouldn’t hate yourself,” he said. “Please. Take my eyes. See yourself with them instead. You took every bullshit thing the world ever threw at you and you did everything you could. You’ve kept trying and you’re still trying after all this time. All while being... just some asshole. Don’t you see? You’re astounding, Dean.”

“Cas, I - I don’t know what to - you…” Dean said weakly. “You have - you have feelings for me?”

“Well,” Castiel said, “yes.”

“Like… good feelings?”

“Definitely,” Castiel said.

“Like… the ‘L’ word feelings?”

“Absolutely.”

Dean wanted him to say it. Castiel knew it. He could feel it in his pulp. Dean wanted him to say those words out loud.

“It’s strangely terrifying,” Castiel said, “to think about saying those three words.”

“Cas,” Dean said, “be brave.”

“Why don’t you do it, then?” Castiel said.

“Come on, Cas - are you a man, or are you a mango?”

“Well - are you a man, or are you a manana?” Castiel shot back.

There was a beat of silence.

Then, in a flash, they were both in their human bodies once more. They sat up on their beds, stretching their arms and wiggling their eyebrows to an excessive degree just because they could.

They looked at each other.

“I love you,” they said, at the same time.

And there was no explanation whatsoever for the fruit thing. And then they kissed.

The End.

#whelvenwingsfic #destiel #crxstalcas #thebloggerbloggerfun #destieldrabblesdaily #i'm tagging you two because well #fruit wars #crack #... with feelings?

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chocopvffz · 6 years

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This started off as a reply to a post but it got too long, and I didn’t want op to think I was coming for them.

Please read to the end.

Honestly I can see why people are pissed that they didn’t get the representation for lgbtq+ content, but I feel like alot are dissing the show for the wrong reasons. That I can agree with you on, but while vld is diverse, the story is good to a certain point. The progression of the story isn’t bad, but it’s execution and presentation is rather sloppy, out of place, or forced. At a purely entertainment standpoint, the show is just that ,entertaining. But when looking at it with critical lens on, the show doesn’t really hold up with the how it started.

The biggest perpetrator to the whole “execution being forced or sloppy” is how the show runners decided to handle “Keith getting to know his mom” situation. Inside the show, the crew decided to have Keith and his mom spend two years on a space whale, in an area where time is accelerated. Their bonding was only shown through flashbacks the characters didn’t even reflect upon (it was forced upon them by some magnetic force or whatever). And montages. The situation is okay on its own, but in the long run of the story so far it was pretty pointless. Keith never has any trouble readjusting to being away form his teams for two years, nor does he have to reconnect with his old teammates after being away from them for 2 years. Being away has no impact. And that is one big problem in this show, things just happen to happen. There is no reason behind a lot of the shit that goes on. And that is one of the worst ways to progress a story, because there is no consequence for anything extreme in the show. And that is how I can tell the crew didn’t plan the show out.

I can think of a more effective way to portray Keith and Krolia learning about each other while still allowing Keith to grow as a person.

Had the flashbacks been introduced through krolia explaining how she got to earth, and Keith explaining his life on earth, we would have gained two things. The first being the actual information, and the second being actual character development for Keith. While it may not be as extensive as the two year gap with him learning from his mom, we would have visually been able to see Keith confront is past, and learn more about himself while at the same time getting to know his long lost mother. The way the crew decided to execute that plot point was the laziest way I have seen any conclusion in the show. Instead of actually being effective, I believe the crew decided to take the easy way out.

This incident was the reason I really started to realize voltron’s storytelling is pretty bad.

Now to the big whammy, Adam. The man holding a lot of peoples dreams for good representation. We all know how that turned out and I won’t remind you. All I have to say is the crew could have taken that out and it would have changed nothing.

I see a lot of people say the fan base only dislikes the show no over what they did to Adam. While that is true, I just believe the Adam situation was what made most of the fandom realize that the show has bad storytelling. Adam was a background character, he wasn’t important to the plot. If the crew hadn’t have egged the fandom on with his importance to Shiro, the situation wouldn’t have been blown so far out of proportion.

The way his story was brought up and executed was out of place. If the crew really wanted to convey the whole “war has sacrifices” thing, they could have used a character we knew or someone we’ve heard of. Adam kinda happened out of the blue.

In S4, the death of all those rebels in the episodes leading up to naxela, and the finale at naxela, was way more impactful than Adam dying. Yeah y’all are trying to remember that one scene where half of the rebel forces got wiped out by that canon.

My point still stands. The sloppiness of vlds writing can be traced back to Keith’s attempted sacrifice in s4 but it doesn’t really become a huge problem until around s6 when things are just happening to happen.

So please don’t get mad at people being angry about Adam. Don’t use the whole “y’all are just angry a gay died, because vld’s story is actually good” argument, because from a structural standpoint the plot is a nightmare. And while you may think the story is good, that is you’re opinion. But it doesn’t change the fact that the story is told in an ineffective way. I just think those that cared about the representation finally saw that the way the story is told is bad.

TL;DR : vld has always been sloppy, we are just seeing it now. And all you ppl saying “stop whining over Adam, and representation, the story is really good” should maybe look at the way the other person may see it, and you might understand where they’re coming from.

I hope the next show the crew works on is something they plan all the way through.

#vld #voltron #voltron legendary defender #klance #vld keith #ill tag keith cuz i talk about him alot in this post #im tagging klance cuz i love klance #dont @ me #vld adam #adashi #shadam #vld has sloppy writing.#rant

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ncfan-1 · 5 years

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Gotham 05X01, ‘Year Zero’

[Tumblr is giving me issues regarding secure connections right now. I will let you know when I’m not having these issues anymore, but for right now, please direct any comments you have to the version of this post on my Dreamwidth account, or at least cross-post your comments to there. I have temporarily changed my settings to allow anyone to post comments, rather than just registered users.]

So, first episode of Season 5, which will most likely be the last season. The last time we were here, Gotham City underwent having its bridges blown up, which while a big problem, should not have been nearly as big a problem as the show made it out to be. Yeah, things are gonna be bad for the first couple of weeks, but if a proactive government takes charge, the city can get back on its feet eventually.

A bunch of criminals decided to carve up isolated, electricity-deprived, and largely depopulated Gotham City into their own personal fiefdoms for reasons that don’t make any sense upon slight scrutiny. Only with Oswald did this make sense, since Oswald has a strong emotional attachment to Gotham City, wouldn’t want to abandon it, and would want to establish his own rule to bring things under control (Things are probably fairly stable in his fiefdom. It’s the peace of the gun, obviously, but I assure you that the peace of the gun is worlds better than whatever the hell is going on in Jonathan’s neck of the woods.). With Barbara, it sort of makes sense, until you remember that this is a woman who likes her amenities like, oh, running water and air conditioning, and she wouldn’t want to be anywhere that doesn’t have these things. With the rest, they have no real attachment to this place and would definitely want to seek greener pastures. Especially Victor Fries, whose life literally depends on having working electricity, and who probably has his goons making constant runs looking for generators and ever-diminishing supplies of fuel for those generators.

Bruce Wayne decided that he could better serve Gotham City by trying to hunt down Jeremiah Valeska than, say, using his wealth and the clout of his family name to secure desperately needed resources for Gotham like getting the bridges repaired and repairing infrastructure enough to get the power turned back on.

I expect Season 5 to be a clusterfuck of epic proportions. I’m hoping that it will veer solidly into So Bad, It’s Good territory and stay there, though I’m not entirely optimistic. I just hope the apparent Jim x Babs tryst doesn’t happen in the first episode. I can’t handle that sort of brain-breaking badness in the first episode.

This? Is Gotham.

[CN/TW: Suicide, suicide ideation, suicide attempt]

- The recap automatically loses points with me by reminding me of Lee x Ed.

- No Man’s Land, Day 391. So, just to establish, this has been going on for over a year.

- We start with Ed, because of course he’s who everyone wants to see first. (Not.) Here’s someone else who really should have headed off seeking greener pastures first thing, because it’s not like he has an emotional attachment to the city.

- Seeing Oswald and Harvey was welcome, though. I love that Oswald has makeup staff, even in these dark times.

- Jim does not deserve the hero shot.

- Why is Ed teaming up with Jim, Harvey, and Oswald? Oswald, I can understand teaming up with the cops, because he’s all about order, but Ed knows no loyalty.

- And apparently Gotham is a full-blown warzone.

- We go back to Day 87, where Jim explains why people need to

- So Oswald repurposed a factory into a working manufacturer of ammunition. So someone’s gotten power up and running.

- And so has Barbara. And it turns out that her “No Men Allowed” policy isn’t nearly as strict as last season led us to believe. What a surprise. (The fact that she deals primarily in information does at least make sense for her character; she always makes the most sense to me as an information broker.)

- Where the fuck did Jonathan find an army of followers? Isn’t he a complete loner with no real charisma?

- This is the kind of situation where you bring in the national guard, not where you just declare the city off-limits and stick your head in the sand. Given how hawkish certain people in the highest level of government are, the men among these people would probably see advisement to stick their heads in the sand while criminal elements take over a city as an assault on their masculinity or something, given their personality types.

- Oh, god, poor Selina, they couldn’t even get her out of town. (At least Alfred seems to have stuck around to look after her while Bruce goes off on his revenge quests.) She looks so completely crushed by everything. She looks like she’s been crying off and on constantly for days; her eyes are so swollen. Poor kid.

- …Of course they couldn’t even go a full ten minutes before showing us the Greedy, Ungrateful Poor. Jesus.

- We find Ed sleeping on a rooftop couch, thoroughly disheveled. Apparently waking up somewhere with no idea how he got there has become a regular thing for him.

- More Bad Ed? Really? Can we just be done with this?

- Jim is right on the money when he says it’s easy for the government to ignore people suffering, though. They have a very easy time doing that.

- So Oswald wants a thousand pounds of steak from Babs in exchange for a thousand pounds of ammo. And Tabby is hung up on revenge for Butch (ugh) while Babs is actually thinking about needing to protect the women who come to her territory. What a surprise. (Well, Babs actually thinking about the need to protect people is a bit of a surprise. But Tabby not giving a damn about anyone but herself? That’s not a shock.)

- Jonathan’s… Yeah, this makes no sense. The fact that he was able to make himself into a power who could actually do anything in Gotham makes no sense. What would make more sense would be if he was (comparatively) small-fry who survived and made a name for himself by loaning out his services to the actual powers in the city.

- The power goes out at the hospital while Selina’s surgery is going on. Bad. The power comes back on, but there are people downstairs stealing the medicine. Worse.

- Jonathan confronts Jim. In a fight between these two, I’m always gonna be on Jonathan’s side, so… yeah, I kinda wanted to see him get dosed with fear toxin again. Not sorry.

- The Greedy, Ungrateful Poor are pissed that Scarecrow’s gang stole most of their food.

- As for the food situation: Bruce has a Plan. I really hope this plan actually works, and that it doesn’t backfire for grimdarkness.

- “After all the things I’ve done, what did me in was being your friend. I just wish Jeremiah killed me.” I’ll… leave this here. (I had suspected that Selina might be portrayed as suicidal. I’d hoped I’d be wrong.)

- And a nurse says Selina needs “the witch.” (Ivy, probably.)

- Oswald’s got a new leg brace, it looks like.

- Why is Oswald being portrayed like a Caligula knockoff (Or maybe a Nero knockoff, playing his fiddle—eating steak—while Rome burns)? This makes no sense. The man is practical enough to know that his workers need proper amounts of food in order to work.

- The dog’s named Edward. I don’t know whether or not to laugh.

- It’s so nice to have confirmation that Barbara will always be second-best in comparison with the man who threatened to rape her to Tabitha. And this after Barbara gave up godlike powers to save Tabitha’s life.

- The helicopter’s here. How much do you want to bet it’ll be shot down or hijacked?

- Shot down; wow, that took… all of five seconds. My bet right now is on Jeremiah as being responsible. He’s enough of a chaos agent to do something like that; Oswald or Barbara probably would have “confiscated” the contents instead.

- What’s Alfred’s game? (What’s Bruce’s game?)

- It was actually some two-bit thugs we’ve never heard of who shot down the helicopter. Of course.

- And Oswald has shown up to confiscate the contents of the helicopter. Only to be intercepted by Jim and his buddies.

- Or maybe it wasn’t the two-bit thugs, and maybe it was Jeremiah, after all.

- And someone with a bow and arrow is killing Oswald’s goons. It’s Tabitha. Of course.

- And Tabitha’s gun had bad bullets in it. And Oswald gets real revenge for his mother, and Barbara…

- Tragic Lesbians. Fuck you fuck you fuck you the first fucking episode fuck you fuck you fuck you

- Oswald has enough sense to run like hell once Barbara’s initial shock wears off.

- …Barbara was presumably there to try to talk Tabitha out of pursuing ruinous revenge. Jim? I really don’t want to see that hook up in the first episode, but could you at least pretend to be a decent human being and extend Barbara some sympathy?

(I suppose Bruce might extend her some sympathy, since he also has experience with the “watching people you love be murdered in front of you” thing. And because he puts more effort into being a decent person.)

- And poor Barbara gets shot while being a one-woman army.

- And Oswald, interestingly, doesn’t actually want to kill Barbara. Again, proving that he is not indiscriminately violent or vengeance-driven. And he doesn’t want to kill Jim either. Well, at least they remember part of Oswald’s personality.

- And Jim didn’t want to kill Oswald. Gobblepot revival?

- Please tell me they didn’t just leave Barbara unconscious and bleeding on the warehouse floor.

- Oh, look, it’s Ecco.

- There’s someone on the other side who got in contact with Jim to let him know there are people outside of Gotham who want to help. Meanwhile, Ecco has drawn a scary smile on the map. I am underwhelmed.

- Ed woke up in a dumpster this time. I laughed. Truly, a dumpster is his natural habitat.

- Barbara and Tabitha at the morgue. Excuse me, at Barbara’s club. Barbara’s ready to raise hell. She healed very quickly from that gunshot wound.

- Once Oswald’s calmed down a bit, he’ll probably decide he doesn’t want Jim dead after all.

- Selina’s looking at the scalpel. Selina, no. Her screams are heartbreaking. (Serious question, and I know this doesn’t always help—sometimes it just makes the suicide ideation worse—but is she on anti-depressants?)

- Please don’t start a round of applause for Jim Gordon.

- And a child has showed up wanting to talk to Jim. He walked all the way across town with this message: “They’re killing us.”

#ncfan watches Gotham #Tw suicide #Tw suicide ideation #Tw suicide attempt

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ashiftingworkshop · 6 years

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Ok wait but why did you have a deal with dark. I mean all I can think of is he threatened your life and then you did a deal with him so he won’t kill ya but you’re not defenseless. you could’ve just shape shifted to be bigger and possibly stronger than him right?. I mean I’m so confused!?

Hey hey, it’s all good, lemme see if I can’t explain it in detail… (and for those of you confused, this is in relation to my ask blog The Little Assistant, which I run here)

So first things first, I went to Dark’s place willingly, or at least, I knew I was gonna get into some deep shit. Either way, I knew I wasn’t gonna have the greatest of times. In the beginning at least.That’s were the deal came in. The deal, for clarity’s sake, being that he would be less aggressive and try to help keep my mood up, thus allowing me to work more efficiently around the house. So it’s not much so that he’d threaten to end me, but rather his frustration over my down days leading to him agreeing on a whim to work to be nicer, and you can see how that’s panning out hehe…

As for the shifting, while I generally do have a good grasp of the ability, my emotions tend to be the leading factor in determining my size. And if Dark were to come across me at any smaller a size than I already am early on… well, that would be bad. As for growing bigger than him? I could, but then that sort of defeats the purpose of gaining his trust. (mainly because it would freak him out not being in control of a situation, though of course I totally tease him after he finds out)

Also an semi-important side note: Writing and working on TLA has made me realize just how much of my own personal struggles I actually put into the story. (and to an extent Dark)I always do my best to be positive in the worst of situations, and the struggle to win Dark’s trust kind of represents that? Like how no matter how bad the situations in TLA get, I always bounce back, given time, much like real life. But just like real life, sometimes my problems get the better of me and suddenly everything’s blown out of proportion, making me go quiet or just want to disappear, and there are things here and there in TLA that reflect that too.

Nonetheless, I love making content for the story and it kinda helps me figure out/work through things like this while also having fun, so I’m happy I get to share it with all of you! ^^

#ask #shiraw #text #shop rambles #TLA #g/t talk #a little bit?#i hope this answers your questions #sorry I went on a bit of a tangent #I thought it would be nice for y'all to have a bit of insight about it #tbh the whole real world corralation was more incedently than anything #but it worked out nicely i think

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gallifreyanlibertea · 6 years

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Sweet (1/2)

a/n: I know JACK SHIT about baking and cooking shows so don’t come at me

click here for part two

also @mi-chan4649 gave me the name for the baking show LOL thanks for literally being my cheerleader

It wasn’t hard to place a bet on who would end up being the most loved this season.

“Hello, bakers!” Arthur came out from behind the main doors to the large kitchen, followed by gasps and applause from the contestants, and it wasn’t quite hard at all to find the one out of the eight bakers that would inevitably end up a viewer-favorite. The cameras would focus the most on that tanned skin, on that dimpled smile, on the baby blues behind the frames of those glasses.

Arthur would be expected to put him under the spotlight as well, he assumed, in the later episodes. With a face like that contestant had, dear god, what it would do to their ratings.

“I’m Arthur Kirkland,” Arthur had said, crossing his arms. “Welcome to The Next Sugar Daddy.”

His dialogue was followed by laughter, as it always was when he introduced the downright ridiculous name that Francis Bonnefoy had fought to title the show. “Ah, I see some potential sugar mummies and sugar-parents in this mix as well. How are you all today?”

And like he’d expected, the, er, attractive one was the first to speak. Arthur found it hard to maintain a distant composure when his attention was almost demanded by the man who seemed to radiate confidence as well as charm. It was so much so that the contestants had all flocked to the man within the first few minutes of filming the episode. They now stood around next him, like the loyal subjects to a King.

“It’s kinda hot in here, to be honest.” He’d made a show of flapping his shirt, and Arthur opened his mouth with a reply already in mind- a quip about Francis being too cheap to install air conditioners- before the man continued. “And you in that suit of yours isn’t helping either.”

Despite being a world-renowned host of successful T.V. food competitions, and being a part-time novel writer, Arthur forgot how to speak English.

“Ah- I, um…”

Francis seemed to find this funny, and the fact that his laughter came out as wheezes didn’t help Arthur’s situation one bit.

“I’d better go change my suit then.” Was the dialogue Arthur had decided on, red-faced. “Dreadfully sorry about that.”

Needless to say, they’d figured out the ‘game’ for this season’s show.

In the last season, it had been a contestant’s unhealthy obsession with the judge, Francis Bonnefoy, and Arthur and the cameramen had been instructed to amplify it. It bode well for the show’s statistics, and quite well with Arthur himself, seeing Francis as uncomfortable as he was.

That game had definitely been better than the one before it, when a contestant had insisted Francis and Arthur had been secretly in love, and the two had been forced to play along as a humorous appeal to their audience. It had come as a shock to them that apparently, more than one of their numerous viewers had come to that “in-love” conclusion as well.

It had been torture.

But now, it seemed, it was Arthur’s turn alone. If this contestant kept up with his apparent interest in Arthur, the production crew would do whatever it took to utilize it to their benefit.

And the contestant most definitely did.

“Round one- as you all know, your task is to introduce yourself so the judge can get to know you… but with a sweet twist.”

Arthur paused for effect, so the camera crew could get a good shot of the theatrical looks on the contestants’ faces. “You will be given ninety minutes to prepare a cupcake that represents you, and you will be graded on originality, taste, and presentation. Your time starts now.”

This was Arthur’s favorite part. It was to watch as the contestants hurried to their places, brows furrowed in thought. The first five minutes was a valuable time for the camera crew to get videos of panicked faces, and for Arthur to scan his handy sheet for names and quick notes he’d been given about the characters of the contestants.

“His name is Alfred Jones,” Francis whispered and Arthur ignored him, squinting down at the sheet in his hands as Francis peeked over his shoulder.

“Shouldn’t you be in your seat looking stoic?”

“They don’t turn the camera to us for a good ten minutes, Kirkland, now what else does it say about him?”

“Shut up, Francis.” He spared a small glance at Alfred’s workstation only to find the boy gazing intently back at him. Alfred grinned abashedly before turning back down to his work, and Arthur hoped to every god on earth that his pasty white skin wasn’t blushing on camera. “I think it’s some sort of tactic to win the show- to soften up the host, yeah?”

Francis shrugged.

A quick cue from a cameraman told Arthur it was time to walk about and get words out of the contestants.

“What’s going on here?” Arthur said with a smile, and contestant number one began to ramble on about the themes within his cupcakes. A quick glance at his sheet and Arthur looked back up, “So you own your own bakery?”

It wasn’t something Arthur was proud of, but he found that his interest level hadn’t nearly been as high with the others as it was the moment he stepped toward Alfred Jones’ workspace.

“What do we have here, Mr. Jones?”

And if what he saw wasn’t what he’d expected, Arthur didn’t know what would be.

Alfred had decided to display something patriotic, something American, with apple-pie sorts of flavoring in the frosting and red and blue sprinkles of edible glitter.

“I had initially wanted to go with a chocolate, protein-shake kinda thing,” Alfred said earnestly. He then let his lip quirk up in something of a smirk, “You know, since I work out a lot.”

“I see that,” Arthur said, and Alfred turned his attention back to his work with a laugh that had Arthur turning away from the cameras to wait out the red flush in his cheeks.

Get a bloody hold of yourself.

Then, Arthur was back at Francis’ side, aware of the cameras poised in their direction as Francis spoke. “I always look forward to this round because it’s quite interesting to see what they come up with.”

“It’s a good gauge of personality and skill.” Arthur said in response, “Not many people try their hardest on this round, on the basis that it’s only an introduction, which gives us a pretty good understanding of their base-level of expertise.”

Time went by slower when he wasn’t the one baking furiously to secure a place in the competition, Arthur found, yet it hadn’t gone by all too slowly for him either.

His job while the competitors baked was fairly easy. It was to pace around with an inquisitive look on his face and make conversation with Francis, as a sort of gossip about what desserts were being made.

Soon, Arthur was stepping right back to the front of the room, eyes glancing at the large clock mounted behind him, “Bakers, please step away from your creations!”

A pause for dramatic effect, for the cameras to catch the looks of relief and sometimes despair on sweaty, flour-streaked faces.

And then, the judging began.

“Mr. Anderson, please explain your cupcake,” Arthur said, with a smile he liked to call not here, nor there. It was a trick he’d picked up over his years of hosting competitions, a look on his face that served as a complete opposite to what he was meant to do- to comfort contestants.

Instead, this smile served to put them on edge. It served to elicit a look from their faces so priceless that it always made it into the final edit.

Francis would watch patiently as the man explained his creation, and he would break into it with his little fork, face as stony as he could manage.

It was funny considering the faces Francis liked to make when he ate. He was a proper food-whore, really.

“I find this to be a little soggy-” It was also a bit funny to watch a previously cocky contestant’s face melt into one of horror after a harsh critique.

Arthur was definitely bitter enough to enjoy something like this, and those who were close to him often wondered how he made it as a host, someone meant to be warm and friendly, when in fact, Arthur found himself having to hold back a smile as a man who’d been particularly rude to him walked back to his station with head hung low.

“Mr. Jones,” Arthur called, and Alfred seemed to brace himself. He held his chin up, rolled his shoulders back, and popped a quick smile on his face as he placed his plate on Francis’ table.

Arthur found himself rooting for the man.

“Here I have a-” Arthur tuned out Alfred’s long ingredient list and in turn, found himself gazing at the cupcake on the plate. It was rather colorful, with icing piped in red and blue, and what seemed to be a small flag on it.

“A rainbow flag.” Alfred explained with a grin, “I love men, all sizes, shapes, and colors, baby.”

“Amen to that,” Francis replied with a hearty chuckle that Arthur couldn’t help rolling his eyes at. “Well, Alfred, there’s no denying your presentation is very beautiful.”

Arthur steeled himself right alongside Alfred.

“And, I have to say, so are your flavors.”

Brilliant! The look on Alfred’s face brought a short-lived smile onto Arthur’s own. It was one that a cameraman had moved to capture- oh fuck, they were going to put that face on television, weren’t they, Arthur clenched his jaw back into a look of indifference.

Francis had pointed it out that evening, after the contestants went home to rest and the crew had been left to look at the footage. “Aw, look, how sweet!”

“Shut up, Francis.” Arthur had snapped. “Are we really going to focus on this?”

Francis hid a smile behind his hand, “There’s nothing an audience loves more to watch than a blooming romance in the midst of a competition. Haven’t you seen all the best-selling novels these days?”

This would be hell for the poor Jones boy, Arthur deduced.

It was only natural that a man like Alfred be used to flirting around for fun. He hadn’t meant anything of it, and now it would be blown out of proportion for the sake of show ratings.

Arthur supposed that’s how the world worked.

“Watch this,” Francis said one day, with what sounded like a giggle, and Arthur scooted in, peering over his shoulder.

What the audience never saw was the long breaks between each round, up to days of preparation time for the bakers while the production team met each day to watch footage and conduct interviews that could be pieced into the final edit.

“I don’t have a boyfriend back home,” Alfred said into the camera, teeth flashing in a big grin. “I never really had the time or the attraction.”

“And what are you usually attracted to?” The interviewer said. His prompt would later be cut out, so Alfred had to answer in full sentences.

“I usually like a good personality in a person, someone who enjoys my company as much as I enjoy theirs, and who doesn’t like good looks?”

“Does Arthur Kirkland fit into this at all?”

Arthur buried his face in his palms.

Alfred, on the laptop screen, paused. He then grinned, “Arthur Kirkland is definitely my type.”

#this was purely purely purely for myself #this is also a prime example of my deteriorating writing skill but I also don't give a fuck lololol #aph america #aph england #usuk #my fanfiction #I hope some of y'all will appreciate this au because Alfred as a baker is underappreciatedddd

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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

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January 21: Brutal Week

Today was really brutal. I can’t tell if it was more brutal than yesterday or if I was just less prepared. Or if today was like the aftermath... I don’t know.

I totally broke down during the staff meeting. I had no idea it was going to happen before I did. I was actually feeling pretty angry and was planning to rant and then I just broke down crying instead.

Every time I think about the situation, I get super Dramatic about it. That’s part of why I’m nervous to share any thoughts. I know if I start talking, I’m going to start with a specific suggestion and end with some hyperbolic, ridiculous statement that makes me look like a loon and that I can’t take back. I don’t want to be over the top here even though a lot of my feelings are over the top.

But then I also don’t know... This is an objectively big deal and I’m not saying it isn’t. But it’s also, like... I can’t let my job become everything I am. It’s just a job. It’s just a space. It’s shitty and it’s a downgrade and it’s insulting and nothing good is going to come of it but... it’s not my whole life so sometimes you just live with shitty things I guess.

What a demoralizing take but that’s literally what “optimism” looks like.

Me being Dramatic again.

I DO take all this very personally, probably way too personally, and so then it gets blown out of proportion and I can no longer tell what a reasonable response is.

The timing of it is really bad and I wonder if that’s contributing to my disproportionate reaction. I know I’m being weak and people deal with multiple things all the time but like... I really don’t feel like I can put this on top of feeling overwhelmed at work on top of not having a proper rest in a year (apparently winter break didn’t count...) on top of a global emergency on top of my potential health problems. I just can’t! I can’t!

It really does feel like being kicked when I’m down. Which is how I get to the ‘betrayal’ part. Like--these are your priorities? This is what you think is important to bother people with now? This is what it’s important to spend money on now?

I also feel like there are just too many projects going on right now and every time a new thing is piled on I just... can’t. I feel like I’ve gotten nowhere on anything since coming back from vacation. But now there’s this, potentially, and there’s that stupid committee I’m on (I KNOW I was nearly impossible and a complete pessimistic drag in that meeting today and I feel incredibly guilty about it... I hate the committee in general but meeting today was especially bad timing--I mean the puffiness in my eyes had barely gone down!), and this other project I’m having a meeting about tomorrow. That one is like... I was actually excited about it. But now I’m less excited because it just seems like yet another thing to worry about and stress over, and it’s something I can’t do myself so it involves interaction with other people and honestly... I’m either kinda low key mad at or otherwise mortified to be around pretty much all of them!! Like just don’t look at me please! Let me hide away in my apartment unseen!!!

Anyway it’s basically horrible. It’s going to be horrible next week too. Maaaaaaybe in February things will improve a tiny little bit. I already knew these weeks were going to be hard but it was because of all the health stuff... I haven’t been thinking about it actively today but it might actually be a bigger contributor than I’ve been acknowledging. I was all geared up to deal with these weeks. I knew it was going to be horrible and I was going to be scared all the time and I’d deal with by distracting myself and being nice to myself and trying to take care of myself--but I was already going to be at capacity. I was prepared to work through it, but like, normal work, not THIS. And so it’s not just “you threw this at us in a pandemic” (objectively completely unreasonable and dickish btw) but also “you threw this at me when I’d only budgeted enough emotional strength to maybe deal with threats to my actual physical body”??? No. I just truly, literally, cannot. And maybe this is a fair reaction. But explaining it to my coworkers is not something I feel I should have to do or even can do because it’s neither their business nor, like, something they should have to think about or know.

But then everyone has their own shit to deal with. So maybe I am just weak and pathetic.

#the year 2021 #2021: rl #cw personal shit #i can't believe i'm up at this hour thinking about this #i won't be able to get through tmrw #not sure what i'll do

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studiomugen · 6 years

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Kinda ranty

Don’t you just hate taking the flack because of someone else’s mistake? So I may lose my job over some guy and the manager essentially yelling at me instead of the guy who messed up. It’s okay Mr dickhead yell at the woman quietly doing her job like she’s supposed to and not the grown ass man who cant follow instructions who is the root cause of the situation.

Long story short I stood up for myself and it backfired. Full story under the cut.

There had been a commotion down the other end of the kitchen, I didn’t really pay much mind since the kitchen staff had been bickering most the time anyway and it was none of my business, I did not know at the time it was over my colleague so I had no clue what the issue was until after my row with the manager which could have been avoided if he spoke to me rationally and explained the issue.

He’d blown so much out of proportion and instead of calmly talking about what the issue was he immediately comes to yell at me, calls me a liar when i genuinely didn’t have my team leaders phone number and that he'd report me when i genuinely did not have his number on me. My team leader was on lunch at the time.

Hell he didn’t even tell me that it was over that 'difficult' colleague that had gotten in the way of one of the chefs carrying hot oil. he then yelled at me for something i didn’t know ~(again something that could have been explained calmly) I snapped and told him to stop talking to me as if I’m some cunt, I may be a cleaner but I should still be talked to like a human being. Then i told him he was a condescending arsehole and that Im not taking it again since every time hes talked to me on other shifts hes talked to me like shit and I’d let it roll off my back. Then he rants about a 1mm speck of soup/sauce on the wall that all he had you politely asked me to wipe, or he could have done so himself. then when i went to wipe it hes all like. 'I’ll do it myself' adds more shitty tone and general rudeness. I throw the gloves (which yeah I shouldn’t have done) , he says hes calling the police because I apparently slapped him. Sadly apparently from the CCTV it looks like I hit him even if shows me picking the gloves up to throw , did they not watch further to see the gloves fall to the floor and me picking them up in literal tears?

So essentially I’m getting in all the trouble for the act without the satisfaction of actually hitting him, which he deserved. I truly wished i could have slapped that condescending smirk off his twat face.

Now into why I reacted like I did.

It’s no secret that I suffer with very high anxiety and avoid confrontation when I can but when I genuinely feel threatened I will snap back because my flight or fight instinct kicks in and in these situations ‘fight’ seems to win.

While I know not all men are like this one of my biggest ‘triggers’ happen to be aggressive shouty men. I’ve grown up seeing my dad abuse my mum, aggressive physical male bullies to which one punched me in the face 3 times but got away with it because I slapped him for slapping my thigh repeatedly with a ruler. The teachers saw the whole thing but said i was in the wrong for slapping him in self defense. please note this ‘boy’ was already 6ft and there’s 5ft (at the time little ol’ me). Then there were years of the eldest of my brothers being shouty aggressive and hitting me with things, and lets not forget some of my mums awful exes while I was growing up too.

Now that i think about it there have been many times I’ve gotten in trouble for sticking up for myself or others because i know it’s wrong. So of course I’m at my core angry because the only one on my side in all this was always myself and I got fed up of taking it quietly and always having to be the ‘better person’. I hate when I get driven to having to fight back because I am a pacifist in nature and I can never understand why some people cant live by the simple rule of- Don’t be a dick to others. Yes that view sounds like an oversimplification but it’s a rule that’s so simple and could make everyone’s lives easier if we all were mindful.

Back on point about last night, everyone of those issues would have been sorted in less than 10 minutes had it been dealt with calmly instead it turned into a 30 minute shit storm and me potentially being out of a job if I’m unlucky.

Sorry for the negative post but I am so very tired of this essentially being case of me sticking up for myself and getting screwed.

#mugen rants #negative #im just so tired

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catfishofoldin99colours · 6 years

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I’ve seen a fair amount of critique in the fandom of the way lance is treated as a character, particularly with respect to the large fixation on la/ngst. A lot of these are well thought out and make a lot of good points that i agree with, but lately something just rubs me the wrong way about them.

recently i saw one which described lance as 'the everyman' character, as a way to explain why so many people love him - they relate to him, since he's probably one of the most normal and relatable of all the main characters. this makes a lot of sense to me - lance is very much a character that I personally relate to, and just observing the fandom will show that a lot of people also feel a similar way about him - and why wouldn't they? he's a student who's feeling just a little out of place with his whole situation, trying to make it through this crazy adventure he never expected himself to be in, all while missing his life and family and the normalcy of his home. he tries to cover things up sometimes with goofy jokes, and loves his friends and tries to be there for them no matter what. he's got worries about himself and what everyone thinks about him and his place in the universe, but gives everything he's got because damn if he's not gonna fight to the end. not to mention he's got an adorable sense of humour and the way he flirts with everyone like wow same

he's a relatable character, whether he was written to be that way or not. lots of people love him, I think, for just being such a marker of what an average teenager would be like in his situation, and being able to relate to that. maybe his expression isn't universal, but to a large extent I think that's primarily what lance and hunk are there for - to explore how teenagers from a very normal background, with almost no pre-existing ties to the situation they end up in, would be like, and develop that. also him and hunk are adorable so

he's a character a lot of people can see themselves in, aside from hunk, because he kind of brings a light to a very normal sense of inferiority that I think a lot of people feel in their everyday lives. in this age where more and more people can easily become famous on almost any social media platform in existence, and seemingly by chance, coupled with the growing access to the internet, and the worldwide connections that bring, it can be hard to feel like your existence has any impact on anyone or anything that will be largely recognized, especially if you're part of a large social identity group, like fandoms.

not to say that if you're not socially recognised you're not important - but I know from experience it can be very hard to convince yourself that you have worth and value when you feel like no one outside your IRL social circle knows who you are.

lance, I think, brings light to that in a way that hits home very clearly to anyone who feels this way, particularly people who are very expressively emotional, like he is shown to be.

think about it - he's an average guy living an average life with an average family (as far as we know). he's at a school for training space-pilots, which looks to be almost militaristic in nature and therefore hard to get into, yet he's not the top in his class - and yes he may be second-best, but there's a thing about being second-best that's just irritating at best, and downright esteem-destroying at worst. I know, I've lived it for the past two years (highly academic high school program with a cohort that all seemed to be smarter than me). he's probably the most unlikely person he'd ever pick to pilot a gigantic sentient spaceship from another goddamn planet - and then he is. out of seemingly nowhere, blue lion chooses him to be her pilot, and takes him on this amazingly wild ride into the far corners of outer space, further than he ever could have gone with the Garrison, where he gets tasked with an amazingly important mission that will have repercussions throughout the galaxy.

I know people have probably talked about this already, but I think it bears repeating: lance and his insecurities about himself are relatable, I think because they're something so many of us feel in this day and age. he's literally the most average guy in the world, and suddenly he's got to take up a huge mantle and hold a great responsibility, with a bunch of super-cool people who at first glance seem so much more qualified to do it than him. of course as time goes on we learn they're all just faking it till they make it one way or another, but at the beginning it's a very daunting prospect, and can lead to a lot of self-doubt about your own abilities, and self-confidence is a very hard thing to build up when you've got to adjust to a new situation quick.

so that's why people relate to lance, I think. but what about the fixation on la/ngst?

look, I get why it's annoying, and it frustrates me too. there's not much more that’s annoying than someone who victimizes themselves whenever trouble happens, and lance is by far not one of these people. it annoys me to see him being portrayed this way, not least because it reminds me of much weaker times when I wasn't doing so well mentally. also, making him suffer constantly? while I understand the reasons behind it (causing him pain so comfort can happen as a way of coping with emotional distress by projecting onto him), it gets to a point where it just becomes non-helpful to the person involved, especially if it focuses on not actually doing anything to heal or get better from that place of distress, or solve whatever problem was causing it.

all of this is annoying, and frustrating, especially for people who's already lived through this kind of emotional turmoil and don't want to see it again. but I also think there's a fixation on it because it allows for a kind of emotional exploration that the kind of people who relate heavily to lance might not find in their everyday lives. yes, that's basically projecting, but I know for me especially, fair amounts of la/ngst-based indulgences helped me work through several emotional issues I had. it by no means solved them, and I would never recommend just that to get through shit. but it certainly helped me understand myself a bit better, and figure out how to tackle the problem in a way that would actually solve it.

so maybe that's where a lot of la/ngst stems from. of course people in fandoms tend to fixate on things to a strangely obsessive degree, myself included, so things get blown out of proportion, and things like this happen - often we need to be reminded how the characters actually work and what they're actually like after our speculation gets a little wild. but I think everyone's guilty of it at some point.

in particular, something I saw about lance and fixating on him bugged me - namely how lance stans tend to give him positions from other characters, such as black paladin lance or focusing on Lance's idea of the galra Keith reveal (which to be fair was robbed from us completely in every respect). while demonizing the other characters to make lance seem better by comparison is not something I agree with ever, I can understand focusing on him in certain situations that are central to the plot - particularly the black paladin one. lance hasn't exactly been heavily focused on yet, not to the degree that we definitely know heaps about him. he's grown and has a firm character base that's easily recognizable, yes, but to a degree it feels like we've seen bits of his development from a far-off view, not exploring him a heck of a lot like we've done other characters. it feels a little bit like we've been cheated on him, and this adds to the feeling of normal inferiority he gives as a character. naturally, from this the desire to see him be focused on arises, and if that means putting him in situations where he'd have to drastically adapt and be in the spotlight of development, so be it. (if the show won't do it then we will, so to speak). so, black paladin Lance comes about. ideas about what lance thought of Keith being galra happen. this is nothing short of the normal character speculation I've seen in other fandoms - I just think it gets blown out of proportion, for a few reasons (one being lance stans tend to be rather loud in what we do XD).

it's not wrong or bad to want lance in the spotlight of the show. he's a very relatable character, and one we want to see develop more, on a more personal basis than what we have. he's already a good character, yes, that much is clear, and we already love him for everything he is - but because he strikes such a deep chord with so many people (and like I said, a lot of whom I think are emotionally expressive like him), we want to see him be focused on in a way that makes us feel satisfied and cared about, in relation to the show's writing.

look, la/ngst can be annoying and unhelpful to actual coping mechanisms for mental illness, and demonizing characters to make him better rather than focusing on what he's already got as a character is not good. but there's nothing wrong with wanting to give him a bit of a personal window, or putting him into a place where he has to grow and change or do something out of his comfort zone to manage (hell, Shiro and Keith have done that already, why can't lance manage it, being the guardian of water and being adatable and all that?). not to mention, angst isn't necessarily a bad thing to have in a story. too much just gets annoying and boring, but probably one of the biggest ways people grow is how they react to adversity. and with lance being such a people-oriented person, it kinda makes sense to relate to how he might change and adapt to bad situations, especially considering the very normal life he's led up till now. that, and people like different things in their stories. my friend loves putting angst in nearly everything she writes, and sometimes it drives me crazy how often she does it - but if by the end she's got a good set of well-developed, individual characters? who am I to say its a bad idea!

look, all of this is mostly emotional rambling and rather hypocritical - but I think it's important to remember that people like different things, especially in this fandom. it just happens to be that lance fans find a lot of commonalities amongst us, and we fixate on certain things because of that. I’m by no means trying to condone the unhelpful things fandom does, but sometimes it helps to remember that things happen as a way to explore ourselves. its a fine line but its possible to be a lance stan and not be the annoying pricks a lot of people know us for, i think???

#catfish speaks #lance #analysis #meta #long post #hfnjjfjlgfjefijjigd mostly this is for myself #i've had a long hard emotional day and this helped me feel better.#hhhhh that last bit sounded agreesive #*flips table* OH WELL #fjfnjfncd enjoy if you can get through all of it i guess #voltron

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