#the second to last picture always gets me btw... the 'its weird to see (...) give people hope' why does it hurt so much

[jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav]

so since you're gonna do the avatar!mc au with the entities you think each brother would fear the most (SO excited for that btw, my friend can attest to the fact that i've basically been rambling about tma x om nonstop since the first post you made that put the two together), i'd love to hear your thoughts on which entity each brother would *be* an avatar of, if you're cool with sharing! personally i love the ideas of specifically vast!levi and dark!belphie but i'd love to hear your takes on the concept! <3

So because of how time works, despite receiving this ask on July 12, by the time you see this it’ll be August! So the entire Avatar!MC series should be out by now, which I hope you will/have enjoy/ed. I wholeheartedly agree with the concept of Vast! Levi, which I’ve talked about before (as you know ;) ), but I will happily ramble about it again!

These aren’t gonna be short fics though bc I do Yearn to save that energy for The Longfic, which is still in the planning stages because a) I can’t pick a timeline, and b) trying to match up the timelines of Obey Me and TMA is hard, especially when I tend to have a violent disrespect for actually paying attention to the timing of plot events in both. I already fucked up a part of the plotting because I forgot the order we get pacts with the brothers lmao

Content warnings: Mentions/allusions to tma-typical Spookies, yet another installation of my Cursed Crossover idea, lengthy debates about what makes someone choose to become an avatar of fear, spoilers for Lesson 16+ of Obey Me and S5 of TMA

What Entity Do I Think The Brothers Would Serve? (Cursed TMA x Obey Me Crossover)

Lucifer

So I put him as falling victim to the Eye/Beholding bc of his whole thing about Secrets and Pride being about wanting control over your own image

And he does have a creepy tendency in canon to always know when his brothers are up to some Dumb Shit

BUT! You know what we see in Lucifer’s character that we see in a certain Entity?

A simultaneous manipulation of others and submission to being manipulated by a higher power

That’s right, I think Luci would be a Web avatar

But Winter, Lucifer wouldn’t wanna take marching orders from someone/thing else! He’s too proud for that— You’re right! He doesn’t want to. But he will.

He willingly submitted himself and his family to Diavolo for eternity to get what he wanted (saving Lilith)

And from how much we see him work, it’s safe to say that he’s a pretty damn essential part of running the Devildom

If he really wanted to, he could probably successfully pull a coup on Diavolo

But he doesn’t, because he’s trapped himself by his own honour code

Thus, the sexual tension bromance we all know and love/insist is Deeply Problematic and blacklist (depending on how much you like/hate dialuci lol)

10/10, would fill with spiders again

Mammon

I put Mammon as falling victim to the Buried for pretty obvious reasons

But admittedly picking a fear he’d serve is trickier

I had to get a bit abstract with it, but I think the Hunt might suit him

Not necessarily the primal *cough* and police brutality *cough* parts of the Hunt tho

More like how Basira was considered an avatar of the Hunt in the fearpocalypse because of her mission/promise to Daisy

See, Greed can stem from fear

Fear of losing what you have, of no longer being able to support yourself, of being preyed upon by others

So people become greedy as a defense mechanism, to protect what they have

If they’re on the offensive, they won’t be targeted

Also, if you’re constantly pursuing more more more, there’s no time to think about anything else

Like consequences, or guilt, or Feelings

If Mammon let his little tough guy act go too far for too long, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say he could start heading down the path to avatarhood

After all, people pay big money for hitmen and bounty hunters…

Leviathan

As I said last time, I can see why people would associate Levi with the Lonely first: he’s a shut in, he acts like he wants nothing to do with people/would rather be alone, and I get it

BUT! All of that actually stems from the fact that Levi has terrible self-esteem and thinks he deserves to be this gross shut in loser

While envy can make you want to bring others down to your level, so to speak, Levi tends to just shun “normies”, not actively conspire to sabotage them

He actually does crave understanding and to have people in his life, he just doesn’t know how to go about it

Boy’s got Mega Social Anxiety is what I’m saying (funny how both the Lonely and the Eye can be real bad for that, huh)

But the Vast? Nihilism? Takes all the pressure off

If everyone is a small, insignificant speck in the face of an uncaring, unfathomably large cosmos, who cares what you do? Who cares what people think of you?

Yeah, you’d be kinda weird too if you stared into the infinite abyss of the ocean and realized it was just the maw of a gargantuan sea monster too, Karen, lay off

Plus aesthetically, the great Awful Deep most people fear in the ocean is a comfort to Levi

And again, THE VAST IS MORE THAN JUST THE SKY

I WENT ON A BOAT ONCE

LIKE REAL FAR OUT, SO I COULDN’T SEE LAND FOR DAYS

IT WAS JUST ENDLESS B L U E

AND I WAS ON A CRUISE IN THE CARIBBEAN

I SAW A FRACTION OF THE OCEAN’S S U R F A C E AND IT WAS I M M E N S E

Did you know we’ve only explored like 5% or whatever of our oceans? Think about that! Every Single Thing we know about what’s in there is just the tip of the iceberg!!! GOD KNOWS WHAT’S DOWN THERE!!! PROBABLY FUCKED UP FISH IS WHAT

*ahem* anyway, fishee

Satan

Another tricky boi

I marked him down as fearing the Desolation, as a reflection of what he fears most in himself

I probably could have also gone with Slaughter, but I’d say that’s more baby/early-Satan

Desolation is also about destruction of potential, and Satan has very carefully built himself into a non-rage-monster person

So tearing that all away from him is :)))

But what would Satan give himself over to?

Ceaseless Watcher, I want that twink OBLITERATED—

Satan clings to knowledge and erudition to distance himself from the rage he was born as

“Watch and learn” is literally how he became a person

I find it deeply funny that it could also easily be how he becomes a monster once again

Also if you think the avatar of Wrath wouldn’t have a use for supernatural blackmail you’re just straight up incorrect

Couple that with Satan’s various connections and he’d be a Force to Reckon With

Asmodeus

I put him as a victim of the Corruption bc I found it extremely fitting considering the duality of his romanticized image vs the “dirty” fluid-filled nature of Lust.

Lust can be really nasty, but as licentious as Asmo’s supposed to be, he’s surprisingly coy

(now part of that comes from the fact that Obey Me isn’t strictly 18+/full-on porn, but still)

There’s a lot of Interesting Ideas to unpack there with attitudes towards sex vs sensuality and idealisation vs reality

Now as for an avatar… I debated this for a very long time, tossing around Eye, Stranger, Spiral, even Web for like one second

But I think I’ve got it

Slaughter!

Specifically the musical/random outbursts of violence side (not so much the war side)

Why? Well for one, Biblical Asmodeus is said to “"transport men into fits of madness and desire [...] with the result that they commit sin, and fall into murderous deeds (Testament of Solomon, verse 23).”

But also, Obey Me Asmo’s affair with that portrait chick from the earlier lessons started a whole ass war

Like it or not, the boy is very good at instilling manic violence in people

They don’t call it bloodlust for nothing

Beelzebub

I paired Beel with an End avatar MC bc the boy fears losing his loved ones like he lost Lilith

You could argue that Desolation would fit there too but I liked how it fit Satan better

Now as for a Vibe…

I’m tied between Flesh and Corruption tbh

Though corruption is mostly bc buge :)

So I’ll talk about the Flesh

So uh, mass consumerism, meat is meat, cannibalism… see where I’m going?

Ignoring the Hans because that was super racist, the two Flesh avatars I remember best are Jared Hopworth and The Guy Who Stuck His Arm in a Spooky Meat Grinder To Feed His Buds

I think of Jared in relation to Beel not because of the gym thing, but because his very chill/apathetic attitude towards his patron is similar to how I’d picture Beel’s approach to all this

Like “well, guess I’m here now”

I love Beel as much as everyone else, but he’s not exactly apologetic about his… habits

Not to the degree that he’d actually try and change them anyway

So if he got started on the path to Flesh avatarhood, he’d be pretty fucked

Belphegor

I put Web for him as a fear almost entirely because of the concept of Uno Reverse Card, ngl

It does technically tie into his whole thing about being trapped in the attic, since he’d denied all agency and freedom in there, but… Uno Reverse

Dark!Belphie is an interesting concept, and MAG86 “Tucked In” is iconic, but tbh I don’t really… Get the Dark

Don’t get me wrong, put me in a dark place and I will be scared, I don’t like not seeing things, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around why one would become an avatar of the Dark

It’s not a very “primary” fear imo? Like, I’m scared of the dark bc I can’t see what’s there, ie. a threat could be there and I wouldn’t know, but intellectually I know it’s just the absence of light. That’s not really spooky on its own.

I guess what I’m saying is I can attribute spookier things related to the Dark better to other Entities, so I’m not sure what its draw is specifically

According to the Entity Sexiness Survey I did a while back, there’s apparently some Catholic stuff going on with the Dark so maybe that’s why i don’t get it lmao

Anyway I’d put Belphie down for Spiral

“What lies behind a smile” indeed cowboy

Apparently it’s getting choked

Is it because MC’s entire relationship with him is originally founded on a lie?

Is it because the Spiral deals with distortions in your perception, gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing, as well as foggy liminal mental spaces like between sleep and consciousness, death and life?

Is it because I think Belphie would absolutely delight in driving someone bananas by fucking with their dreams until it bleeds into their waking life?

Is it because being a person or consistent being at all is too much effort, consistent internal geography is hard, fuck it, just be an endless twisting series of hallways?

Yes :)

#obey me #tma #cursed tma x om crossover #obey me headcanons #tma the entities #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor

[the---hermit]

Tranquil's studying challenge 2022

Believe it or not I completly missed the post so I am starting this challenge after it has begun. In this post I will catch up with the first questions I have missed (from the 16th of February to the 18th, so yesterday), but then I will incorporate the challenge in my daily posts, as I normally do.

Today I am motivated.

Day One: The beginning of the challenge, woohoo you did it! A lot of the time starting is the hardest part. So, tell us a little bit about yourself! What are you studying currently, what where are you in your life right now? Are you happy with where you are right now? What are your goals in doing this challenge? (this is taken from the last challenge! I loved all the answers you guys gave for it so I’m bringing it back!)

Hello there! Lots of informations for this first question. I'm Cris, I'm an history university student, and I am currently studying for my last exam before the end of my degree. It's a huge exam on the philosophy of science, and I will have the test in April. After I'll be done with this I'll have to work on my thesis, and if everything goes well I'll graduate in the summer. It's kind of scary actually, so I try not to think about it too much. I am quite happy at the moment, although there's room for improvement as always. I don't really have a goal in doing this challenge, I simply had a lot of fun with the last one, and when I found out about this one I was super excited!

Day Two:  Tell us about an unforgettable adventure you’ve got to experience in your life. Bonus points if you share pictures to go along with it!

The Baggins in me has the perfect adventure story to talk about. When I graduated from high school in 2018 me and three of my friends had an interrail trip of two weeks to celebrate. It was absolutely amazing, we travelled with huge backpacks through the north of France, Denmark and Germany. The word adventure is perfect to describe this trip, not only because of all the travelling and exciting things that happened, but also because for me it was a turning point in my life. I don't talk about it much on here, but I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks quite badly, and although I was excited about the trip I freaked out before we left, I was ready to give up on everything. In the end I did it, and I had so much fun. I changed and learned so much in those two weeks. I have very fond memories of it. I also got a small tattoo during this holiday, so I think about it everytime I see that on my wrist. Here's two of the hundreds of photos we took in during those two weeks. The first one was made in our fisrt stop in Rouen, while the second one was taken in Copenaghen.

Day Three: What in your life has not gone as you planned it to go? Did it end up better or worse than you expected?

I'm sure many of things didn't go as planned, but I couldn't think of any. The first one that came to mind is this weird story. For some reason this story starts again in 2018 after I graduated from high school (there's a theme going on apparently). It was in my plans to get two tattoos to symbolize the end of a chapter of my life and the start of another. These two tattoos are an ouroborus (a snake biting its own tail, Jormungnadr for those who know a bit of norse mythology), and the other one a snake forming a spiral. These two symbols have many meanings, but the reason for which I wanted to do them at the time is that snakes symbolize regeneration and healing. I had a lot of bad stuff to let go of after high school, and a lot to heal from, so it felt like is was an accurate moment. The thing is, for a series of events, which I wouldn,'t even be able to explain, I ended up not getting them. Fast forward when I managed to get them at the end of 2019 (btw in doing so I found out my current tattoo artist, who is amazing, and it's already enough of a reason to say it was worth for things not to follow plans). A few months prior I had finally broken off a toxic friendship I had since high school. It was a major moment for me for many reasons, but after ending this frindship I felt like I was reborn, even though I still had a lot of healing to go through. You can see why the coincidence of the delay of these tattoos, has a big meaning for me. That was actually the right moment to get them, and I can say that I have done much healing since then, and I abolutely adore my two snakes.

#tranquil2022buddies #studying challenge #studyblr #studinspo #challenge #travelling #travel #places #monuments #landscape #travel memories #adventure #presentation #things that did not go as planned #life stories #cris speaks #the---hermit

[legionofpotatoes]

alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned

we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐

but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants

I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses

why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision

the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas

yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move

what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;

but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of

to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted

I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course

[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure

tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”

tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee

why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie

a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever

quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n

the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this

that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone

the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that

also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane

I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out

plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude

total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex

the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks

anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill

#text #long post #aotd spoilers #aotd critical

[need-a-new-hobby]

the descent into hell isn’t easy

s1 ep 2

so i got 2 notes on my last post so imma keep going

did simon just compare jace to mick jagger?!? HA!

did clary just say that she thinks jocelyn is at the center of their war?!? WhAt? look, i get that this girl wants to find her mom, but assuming that the entire shadowhunter race (also they call themselves a race) is fighting over her mom is just... idek what to call it? Arrogance? Naïveté?

also did noone think to bring the body inside?

i swear alec is so done with jace and his mundanes. his entire thing is just ‘another one?’

i’m sorry, i think my eyes just rolled down the back of my skull with the whole ‘best friends’ thing. 

can i just point out that matthew daddario is just watching isabell flirt with simon with such amusement? it’s adorable.

my god, i forgot that they torture their tutor to get info on the circle. i know hodge deserves this later, but seriously, how could clace do that?

‘i hate to make you suffer like this.’ are y’all serious? she’s borderline torturing this guy for info. somehow she makes me angrier by apologising. 

also this kinda thing is so classic. ofc none of them know their own violent history. did no-one bother to find out growing up? i hate to say this but if clary’s right about one thing, it’s the insanity behind not knowing their own history.

also, this scene is one of the first that made me sorta dislike clary. rewatching it just makes me angrier.

‘what is a g. i. joe?’ them not knowing clary and simon’s pop culture references is the funniest. refer to mick jagger above

also where the hell was she planning to go? and clary’s explanation of what a g.i. joe is is kinda off. i always assumed a g. i. joe was like an all-american hero (see steve rogers)

yikes! clary stepped on mom issues. i have no empathy/sympathy for her, she needs to calm down

‘in the shadow world, no training and no plan gets you killed’ - the first sane thing i’ve heard jace say all season.

kay, jace has got to be some kinda genius to go from ‘my memory’s blank’ to ‘your memory’s been wiped’. my memory goes blank all the time. i don’t remember what i had for dinner last night.

one more implausible thing, how doesn’t she know what a warlock is? i mean she’s 18, it’s 2016, has she not heard of Harry Potter, or LOTR for that matter? she’s simon’s best friend, she has to have come across it at some point in time.

kay, first of all, we all saw dot fall through a window about maybe 10 ft high, crack her neck on a fence and fall on the pavement. how is she still alive? 

also, i know luke’s meant to be a good guy and all, but he literally just treated dot like crap considering all she’s been through. and insinuating that she can’t be trusted when he himself was a circle member is just plain discrimination. 

also, she gets it. ‘if anyone can help, it’s magnus bane’. i get it, my baby is super powerful, but please don’t get him killed. i can already sense the magnus bane sass™️

izzy’s so pretty! and her hair is flawless. but the way she says ‘he’s the ultimate protector’, i just can’t

btw, love the inclusion of the ‘izzy can’t cook’ gag from the books. but kinda implausible that she can make porridge but completely burns toast. nvm, the porridge looks nasty (sorry, iz, i still love you though, bad porridge and all)

can i just ask that if jocelyn fray’s real name is fairchild, why would searching her pseudonym come up as restricted? also, hodge very conveniently forgot to tell them that jocelyn was married to valentine or that her real name was fairchild. that’s just sloppy.

also luke’s friendship with his boss is so pleasing to watch (terrible phrasing i know) i mean so often female captains are seen as these stoic, always angry and fierce officers with terrible relationships with their underlings. it’s nice to see her joking around with a colleague. 

clary’s uncomfortability with izzy’s clothing is canon, but she’s basically wearing a camisole. it’s a lot less revealing that izzy’s regular clothes. at least there’s no slutshaming! plus she’s gonna be wearing a jacket on top, but ofc everyone’s comfort levels are different.

I’m so glad that Clary and Izzy are both so positive towards each other. I mean compared to the books, not that bad

‘do you know how to fight demons?’ to ‘i’m an internet search away.’ simon’s the best. 😍😍

i mean, who in their right mind would approve the mission? sure, they’re not teenagers, but they’re messing with Valentine, for crying out loud. besides, we all know how much the clave prioritises down and out warlocks.

‘little girl’

‘clave thing,’ someone needs to educate this selfish matchstick. first of all, she can’t expect alec to turn his back on the clave, they need the clave’s resources to keep the institute running. second of all, she doesn’t really need to go. think about it, if alec, jace and izzy can track down a shapeshifter to a nightclub, they can handle a warlock. besides, she’d just be dead weight anyway. i just hate that clary doesn’t get better than this.

haha, alec’s salt kills me. ‘well, since you have all the answers...’ 

oh, so she’s not gonna explain the vision giving gemstone lolling around her neck? fuuun

‘you were kidding about the runes on the floor killing me right?’ alec’s smile aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. i love one grumpy cat smile so much. also this is like his first smile in the 2 eps

sorry, but magnus’s face when dot grabs his arm, just like ‘bitch who do you think you are?’ 

instant priorities people. see, magnus understands the concepts of ‘risk’, ‘danger’ and ‘consequences’, unlike one matchstick i won’t name. (“I’ve been busy trying to save our people from certain death”)

hahaha, the foreshadowing -> “are you really gonna risk your life for a shadowhunter?” - this is why magnus is my fave.

okay, couple really weird things i have to point out. first off, clary sucks at running. i get that running in heels is hard, i can’t even walk in them, but i can’t believe that the entire institute doesn’t have one good pair of sneakers. second, alec is just walking in the back, that’s how slow they’re going. third, are they seriously just following clary around the club on some strange whim instead of attacking the club strategically? 

but seriously, her running though. her arms are just waggling around. seriously, guys, sneakers.

kay, clary is way too hyper right now. alec never said they were giving up, just that it wasn’t safe and they had to get back to the institute. which is absolutely true, if circle members are after dot in pandemonium, they’re probably in the vicinity

im sorry, but watching alec and izzy know exactly what jace is planning with the silent brothers and in sync just going ‘jace, no’

‘a process that can also kill you, so there’s that.’ i mean, what’s the downside?

‘your bedside manner is abysmal’ - kay, i’m still kinda pissed off rn so that’s probably coming across here, but dude, you are both adults and she needs to know the risks involved. how tf was he supposed to say that...not abysmally? sorry, im a big alec defender. i think its an older sibling thing.

wait, 18 rules? damn, jace has to have like a record or something. i reckon 18′s probably exaggerating. i’d guess at 10, maybe 12.

hold up, he’s asking clary to decide whether she should get her memories wrenched out of her by the silent brothers w/o knowing the risks involved? not a sound decision.

why is she so fucking smug towards alec? it’s kinda hard to see at first, you have to replay it a couple times. maybe it’s just me cuz im writing this late at night but her attitude towards alec really gets under my skin.

also, i think satan is on simon’s van. that’s not at all disconcerting

also, why is this all happening at night? and wasn’t isabelle making breakfast before? 

‘are you kidding? i was born afraid.’ first of all, mood. second of all, proof why simon is my child.

tbh, i really wanted to see a better brotherhood between jace and alec. like, it is still better than in the books, where jace practically ignores alec’s existence until he gets injured by Abaddon. (a moment i wish was in the tv show, but too complicated, i understand.) but i think in this scene, where they discuss the steps they’re taking, you kind of see the chemistry between them. well, not really chemistry, maybe more just their relationship. 

first off, alec tries explaining to jace that even though clary’s made the decision, they’re responsible for her wellbeing, something that isn’t in the book. i really appreciate this bit, primarily because you see why alec is so fussy about missions. as the season progresses, you see the kind of pressures that are on him, something that makes me hate clary all the more

second, jace counters this by giving him the bigger picture. this is a step they need to take to find valentine. i think that’s something the books don’t give you either. you kinda start seeing that without jace, alec gets stuck on the minor details i.e. rules, stipulations etc. and without alec, jace wouldn’t be able to calculate the risks of each decision, which i think is key to understanding them as parabatai.

third, alec’s soft little ‘you were never a stray’ tugs at my heartstrings every time. jace really is family to them, a brother for them and i love that he sort of forces that down; that despite their last names, despite their bloodlines, they will always be brothers, a sentiment i absolutely adore

haha, jace c*ckblocking simon since 2016

i’m still not over the notion that valentine is holed up in chernobyl, of all places. i am really glad though that they didn’t follow the trope of the US being like the only country in the world, or New York being the only city on the planet.

did i mention how confused i am that dot is still alive?

yeah, did not miss jace’s arrogance

‘kay despite the fact that i hate everything about her, i have to commend clary on how much she loves her mom. i mean, i know a lot of people who wouldn’t do the same. and despite the fact that jocelyn lied to her for 12 years (based on what she tells magnus later on) she’s still willing to do whatever it takes.

‘you’re clary freaking fray, you can do anything.’ cue alec eye-rolling in the back. look, it’s not that i have anything against simon and clary being vocal about their bff status, it’s just that a) i would never talk to my best friend like that and b) it is thoroughly making me cringe

kay, i’ve rewatched this scene a dozen times and here’s what i noticed

‘i have seen every horror movie ever and the funny best friend who gets left behind...dead man’

cue isabelle laughing

jace: you’re not that funny

alec is just so done with these f*cking mundanes. “the rune energy will kill any mundane that dares to enter, so please.” motions for the mundie to keep going. 

kay, before i keep going, i’ve noticed this post is going on for a bit, and re-reading, i feel like i have to clarify why i dislike jace’s arrogance but not alec’s. i think it’s mainly because jace’s arrogance stems from a need to be superior to others, which is common with victims of child abuse, or so i’ve read. knowing this makes it a little harder to hate him, but this kind of behaviour, while is justifiable, often leads to them tearing down another person’s self-worth, which you can kind of see in the books. alec’s arrogance mainly stems from being exhausted from dealing with other people’s bullshit, which i can’t really dislike. i’m an older sibling myself, so i kinda know what he goes through dealing with siblings and such. you’ll see with the next point.

‘talk about sacrifice, i’m missing a financial analysis class.’ first off, what kind of class starts in the middle of the night? second, i’d rather be in the city of bones than in financial analysis. third, i feel alec’s exasperation.

‘yeah, i can’t be around this, so imma mind the perimeter.’ *gestures to simon’s entire body*

i dunno why clary’s hugging simon like that, it’s not like he’s the one going down there. i’m gonna move on before i overanalyse and come up with more ways why i don’t like clary

izzy keeps making simon uneasy and I LIVE FOR THESE MOMENTS

aight, imma keep it honest, i skipped the whole city of bones/clace section the first time cuz they’re so boring. but it’s pretty much just jace making stupid jokes and clary being kinda whiny.

‘looking better in black than the widows of our enemies.’ a line that lives rent-free in my head.

also, he keeps saying she’s a shadowhunter now, but she hasn’t done much shadowhunting. she doesn’t even know what the clave is

aand now they’re holding hands. great. very professional y’all.

silent brothers. looking creepy since the dawn of nephilim. but for my book stans, where’s brother smackariah?

imma be honest, i feel bad for the silent brothers. i mean, they’ve devoted themselves completely to the shadowhunter profession, mutilated themselves for the attainment of knowledge, and yet, the first thing that comes to mind is fear instead of admiration. yikers.

“if you are not strong enough, the soul sword will kill you.” this show needs to stop getting my hopes up

“it literally never stops talking.” i love alec with all my heart.

i know i shouldn’t but it’s so funny that they keep referring to simon as ‘it’

“my father is valentine.” cue matchstick running. 

alec is the only sane person on this team. how is he the only one that doubts clary’s loyalty? i mean, i’ll admit he could have phrased it better, but book!Alec is canon for being straightforward so i’m shrugging it off. jace should’ve been a leetle understanding and for once, i think clary’s reaction towards alec was justified. finding out she’d valentine’s daughter, and then being accused of espionage isn’t a fortunate series of events. but alec is correct in his own right. as head of the institute, he needs to make sure. again, he’s always mindful of the consequences behind his actions. even when simon is kidnapped, he doesn’t act rashly, even though no-one would blame him for sticking an arrow through Raphael for kidnapping Simon. (don’t get me wrong, i love raphael.) but he doesn’t, keeping the accords in mind. they’d all be screwed if they broke the law, and alec would be held responsible.

that’s all folks. tune in tomorrow for episode 3

#shadowhunters #the mortal instruments #anti clary fray #anti clary fairchild #anti clary #alec lightwood #Jace Herondale #jace wayland #jace #alec #izzy #simon lewis #isabelle lightwood #clary fairchild

[questionthebox]

How I really talk.

a few things, I want to make note of, 

1. the notion of life or existence being a simulation is meaningless, as the word “simulation” doesn’t mean the intent, of what we all think it means, just google the definition, if life were really a simulation,  no rules of “abstract reality/morality” alongside the fact that advanced science should already if this was true be able to understand it, and modify it, the way I put mods in my Skyrim, if life were truly a simulation, there would be by random chance, junk or glitches spread, no computer that I'm aware of, can simply run things this smoothly without glitches or crashes happening at points, if this was really being ran by a computer ? which is never specified when scientists speak of a simulation, they never specify what a simulation is machine wise, is it a super duper computer, or some sort of artificial intelligence, wouldn’t our super computers pick up mathematically if life was a simulation ? I'm just spitballing here, but I'll go back to that, if this was a simulation, why the inherent sense of morality and reality ? because I can mod my Skyrim so that I could kill anyone at will, and no one notices, lastly this notion of simulation, begs the ultimate question of why, perhaps our leading psychologists can answer this, but I don’t see why a “God” or “Gods” would do this to this extent, if we are indicative of the simulations, simulator, then that “God” presumably has the same sense of morality and reality that we do. my true feelings on life and its existence, is that of what the buddha said, of the unknowable questions, if anything, these questions will arise once different advance civs collaborate on them, if they the advance civs actually exist. 

2. I feel weird when the notion of experience is thrown around, but somehow I have a lot of it, don’t know why, but I guess I always put myself in the, well actually I do know why, some people chase thrills, I chase narratives, but there’s something ive been encountering, people in my generation that have no experience whatsoever, in particular Sexual, which confuses me, considering how overly sexual things are, I'll be frank here, in that ive heard from many their little pussy ass sob stories, on their “experiences” I'm going to do something controversial here, and blame the victim, you people are just fucking weird, I realized that, it has nothing to do with all these grandiose things, you’re just weirdos, and cowards, who are afraid of life, who won’t grow up, Sex is part of growing up, its not this thing done to you, or that you do onto others, Sex is about the freedom of adulthood, its about looking at oneself as adult, and putting aside the bullshit, that distracts, and because these people have no experience all they have, is friends who are bland, trivial things like, video games, or whatever media these weirdos consume, its almost as if they’ve totally bought into being a passive audience member, that consumes, they are the true definition of a consumer, I'll put it like this, you’re never going to get me to fully put myself into anything that isn’t SEX, like I'm never going to treat College as I would Sex, because College and the people in it, are muted, boring, anal, and that’s it, in repeat, ive personally figured out a way to operate within this system, without it, affecting or defining what I do in life, in life, I chase narratives and people, and experiences, in life, I'll spend a week at a beach, doing drugs, writing a book of poems, you’ll never hear me talk about “BABY YODA” . 

all that being said, its still weird to encounter, I'm 28 btw, people who have scarcely had SEX, and who want to have SEX with me, like no I'm not going to have sex with you, because your just a pussy ass spiritual asexual who wants to be a vampire and leech after my spirit, and trust me, there’s many of these people, 

which leads me to this, my generation is a true “LOST generation” 

from the totality still living with parents, of which I live with my dad, to all the things we are denied, to the unhealthy bullshit we have access to, and its even worse for the generation under us, those kids are dumb little weak pussies, and I mean piss dumb, they only know some fucking ghetto rapper, saying “yeah” over and over again, I fucking hate young people, I hate the attention paid to the young, I hate how they determine culture, just the way of perception, the young are weak, how many times have I told or tried to motivate people to do shit, how many times did I use to tell miss Agnes Varda, im a 29 year old writer woman, stuck writing romance novels, meanwhile I live with a ugly ass boring husband, she should write and make films, 

and this is what Jen wants to be “young” ha, 

over the past few years, ive found myself in an “entanglement” with a middle aged woman, who wants to be two things, an artist, and a young woman again, and I understand the first desire, and I know she is an artist, but the second one, I find to be utterly deranged, because the young of today offer nothing, who would want to be among them ? which reminds me, 

last Semester of college, I was in the gallery, at the desk, surrounded by my classmates, all young people, it was national coming out day, and there was this door, people were taking pictures with, like going through the door to represent “coming out” and they all sort of gathered around me, to discuss, their insular little realities, with one bitch saying she was ASEXUAL, which I have a funny story to tell about her, that girl, was plain, a real plain Jane, and if you know me, you know how warm and nice I am, and so I paid her a compliment one day about her hair, and the next day, she comes all jazzed up, hair long, showing stomach, the whole 9 yards basically, trying to get my attention, and its like bitch you just made a whole thing about being ASEXUAL, and her deal was honest to gods truth, she didn’t want to grow up, the bitch just spoke about anime and cartoons, like yuck... ok then there was the little gerble little rodent looking bitch, who went on this long winded polite thing about being pan sexual, and this person is the definition of those people you meet at college who only care about being some ass kissing do goober who does their work and goes beyond doing the work, they treat it like a lifestyle, I had to listen to that bitch claim she’s “Pansexual” which made me laugh, because your only saying that because your ugly as fuck, and can’t get no dick or pussy if you tried, then the other weak ass followers chimed in their little polite coming out stories, and I'll never forget this, this dude, taps me on my arm, and says “yeah who’s really straight now anyways” 

which leads me to this 

I AM motherfucker, and yeah ive had queer experiences when I was younger, but that was due to just being experimental and fun, but as a 28 year old man, baby you best believe I love VAGINA, I love DOGGY, but they wouldn’t understand that because they ain’t never had it, or had anything good, honest to gods truth ive had some fire ass women, because im a fire ass nigga, I once made a woman, during a love making session, that started in the early evening, and continued to the next day, cum according to her, like 20 times, NO CAP... and that was just me being completely entranced and let loose, because love making is a feast, ive been lucky and you know what ima speak as a MAN, I was lucky for the first two women I really had, and one in particular, to have had women with absolutely knockout bodies, I mean this woman had d cup breasts, nice hips, ass, long hair, she did modeling originally when she lived with her aunt, I mean god damn nigga, and to just be young and experience that, because it was levels to this shit, it wasn’t just fucking, it was lets give each other a bunch of orgasms, because were genuinely super fucking attracted to each other, it was shit where I would be going on my intellectual rants and she would just start randomly kissing a nigga passionately, I remember the first time she did that I was like WTF, and she was like well I ain’t never heard anyone talk like you before, its passionate, and that was just one woman, in these 10 years, from 2010, til now, do you know how many groovy women ive been lucky to experience life with,

you think I just say shit, you think I write poems about ELLY, I write poems about her, because I know there’s shit her and I will do, that's super far out, from witch pagan shit to all kinds of shit, like niggas don’t have any sense of romance and imagination, 

like its like people don’t care to know life as something beautiful in a collective sense, 

im a communist because I can see life as that, you get me, all the shit I complain about, is this the shit I see that makes life not worth it, im choosing to stand up at risk of total alienation and people hating me, to say look it can be more then this. 

MOTHERFUCKERS... 

#poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #my thoughts #prose writing #metaphysical #rant post

[familyagrestefanblog]

In continuity Behavior and Details of the Sentimonster and what we can take from it + The effect of Cataclysm

Has anyone noticed yet that the two Sentimonster we have seen up to date (Hawkmoths in "Mayura" and Baby Augusts in "Miraculer") show a very particular Behavior pattern which helps us to better understand these creatures? It actually kinda blew my mind when I noticed it, let me show you! :D

But let me warn you, this got long ^^

I'll start with Augusts Lollipop Sentimonster because it has more screen time. 

Same as always with Hawkmoth, Mayura sends out one of her corrupted feather after she spots the upset Baby August. In context of this episode, one has to remeber that this Sentimonsters attack actual purpose was to set Chloe up for getting akumatized, so going for the Baby here (even though its morally wrong as hell) was not a bad move at all.

(Behold the Lollipop-monster, that my medicine influenced 2 am gif making self lovingly called “Lollipopulus Giganticus”, the diabetis brother of Mothitus Giganticus but we will get to that later)

The design. is. on point! The “akumatized” (do we really not have a name for this yet??) person is a baby who hasnt developed any complex thoughts and hasnt quite adopted the weird human need to completely humanoid monsters yet. The Baby is simple minded = The Sentimonster has a simplistic design without actual features or anything. August just has a HUGE desire for Lollipops so thats what the monster is. Some big ass Lollipops. Love it. 10/10, would lick again

Also take note how the Sentimonster stands here. It appears right in front of the Baby and even though it has no features like a face or anything we can still adumbrate from the camera-angle and the placement of the head and the lower arms that it faces away from August. Like a protector ready to defend. Remember that the Peacocks power is to summon a protector for someone and the following moments will give us more insight on how these protectors behave in a special occation.

Right after the Lollipop monster appears as his protector we see this. August is so delighted to see gigantic Lollipops that his pacifier (is this how you call it in english? I only get weird words as results when I look it up) falls out of his mouth and thats the catalyst moment for the monsters behavior!

Cuz the feather is in the pacifier and in my theory the feather-akumatized object is how the feather-akumatized Person can control their protector. Which of course they should be able to. The Akuma victims are also free to use their powers to their own will and imo it would make very little sense to give someone a protector but only the (maybe very busy) miraculous holder has control over it. So I think as long as the feather-akumatized person is in possesion of the feather-object they alongside Mayura are the masters (with Mayura, as the miraculous holder, still having the upper hand like Hawkmoth being able to “dicipline” his free will Champions through pain (Which btw makes actually alot of sense even if or ESPECIALLY if the Miraculos are meant to be used for good. You dont wanna have a champion running around refusing orders/ or using their powers for a bad purpose without a way to keep them in check just in case. I think Mayura will have something like this too. That whoever right now posesses the feather-object can be “diciplint” by her for misusing the protector. But I digress)

But the thing is, August looses his pacifier the moment the monster appears, so the only one in control over it is Mayura at the moment but she...doesnt, the whole time. She just lets the monster do whatever on autopilot (Which makes sense concidering that the Sentimonster is only there for the sake of assembling the heros again and upsetting Chloe. Why commanding and controlling the monster when its not needed for the plan? Natalie saves her energie whICH IS PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA SINCE USING THE PEACOCK IS KILLING HER)

What? What I mean with on autopilot? Oh let me show you, its awesome!

Cuz the moment that August, the person the Lollipop PROTECTOR is supposed to PROTECT, looses his control over his Sentimonster it knows that its little human master has no way to command it in the needed ways to protect himself from danger anymore. And since the Peacock isnt giving it other commands the Monster follows its instinct

And what is this instinct?

This!

Right the moment its human master looses the control object, it turns around to check how and why this happened. Here it happened by sheer accident. August doesnt understand that its important that he keeps his pacifier but under normal circumstances the human master loosing the feather object would mean that they were attacked, hurt or otherwise in danger

And thats exactly what the Sentimonster is thinking, when it sees August being taken away by his mother. Because in the next shot with it

We see. it chasing. after. THE BABY! Oh my god kudos to you SentiSweety, you go protect your “kidnapped” little master!

This is such an awesome trait these Sentimonsters seem to have that the moment they fear their humans are in fundamental danger without being able to protect themselves with their help, their priority number 1 is chasing after them to save them. It makes so much sense that they would have this instinct but somehow it still blew my mind when i noticed it! :D

Okay next and last important Lollipopulus moment (I think i’ll keep that name. My loyal Diabetes son deserves a name and fight me on this however you want, but he looks like a “Lollipopulus” kind of guy to me. Look at that jaw-line, it demands an “ulus” ending”)

The Sentimonster isnt just attacking LB and CN for the heck of it. We know that it thinks its master got kidnapped and is in danger, so when it sees our heros here getting ready to fight IT, of course it would think that they are “bad” too. Probably for an Sentimonster whoever is against it and the master-to-protect will be seen as “allied evil” by it, especially in autopilot modus.

Also. When you fear your protégé is in mortal danger so you wanna save them at all cost and then someone attacks YOU, you fight back. HARD. Because when the attackers hinder or even defeat you, noone is there to save and protect your protégé. And for an Sentimonster, save and protecting their masters is their entire purose of existing. So yes, Lollipopulus here wont hesitate a second to fight LB and CN just so it can get to August.

Though I might add, that I still think Sentimonsters are resonable creatures when used by or for a good person. They only want the best for their masters. So lets say Mayura would have featherrupted Augusts mother instead but she still had lost the control-object. So while running away with August (and the Sentimonster running after her in autopilot) she had met one of her 3 men and they ended up cowerig somewhere trying to protect each other and the baby. When the monster had arrived and had seen that the unkown man is protecting her and that SHE is protecting HIM too, the Sentimonster wouldnt have done anything to the man. Obviously the man is no danger to its master and the master trusts the man.

When the master has the control-object this is even easier because then you can simply tell the monster that your friends, familie or whatever arent enemies. Then they will be under the Sentimonsters protection too. Of course this works the other way around too and is probably how the Sentimonsters will be used for evil. Give them an akuma victim as master and they can be one hell of a threat trying to protect them.

So coming back to the situation in the gif. I think if LB and CN had calmly talked to the Sentimonster, asking if its looking for its protégé and if they can help, the Lollipop monster would not have attacked at all. Like I said, the Monsters just want the best for their masters and to protect them. The way I see it, when a Sentimonster is on autopilot it decides for itself who's friend and who's foe. This could lead to interesting development in future because right now team miraculous still sees most everything very black-and-white, as seen above, they inmediadly went to attack when it probably wasn't needed at all. The fact that Chat Noirs family are literally the bad guys is gonna help alot to open up the grey area between black and white but smaller things like this, trying to understand and becoming allies with Sentimonster could also add another layer to their growth as well

Though Mayura was still in the picture here so she totally would have commanded the monster to attack the heros. Still you get my point.

Okay let's go over to Hawkmoths Sentimonster before I'll continue endlessly

With this one I'll kinda skip the beginning, I'll just go quickly over the most important factors and then focus more on the new and interesting stuff.

With Hawkmoth we saw that Mayura does the same as he does. She sends out something corrupted, it finds an object, she telepathically communicates with the person and we get MOTHITUS GIGANTICUS

Before I start let me quickly point out that just like Augusts Sentimonster the butterfly appears right before Hawkmoth, facing his foes and ready to defend its master. The behavior pattern is there and will mostly likely be continued is most of the Sentimonster cases.

Alright lets talk about the design!

When you concider that Mothitus’ purpose was to be the “teaser” Sentimonster and to gently be our introduction for Mayuras powers and for the bigger and grander Sentimonsters to come then this is one great design. Its obviously something we havent seen yet but it isnt completely out there either so that we dont understand at all what going on anymore literally 20 seconds before the end of the fight. That would have been a bad style choice for a (maybe) never returning Monster, so they definitly did the right thing with this butterfly.

The design in general is really gorgeous in my opinien. Look at the little details! The wings, the tail, the head! I also like that designers were able to create a model that can be both a butterfly and a moth at the same time. Yes they are simular, but they still look different enough that they totally could have created a model which just would have looked like either a butterfly OR a moth. They made it work with both and thats awesome!

Even if I know that Mothitus doesnt exactly count as a legit Sentimonster (since its practically more used as an lore and future teaser than an actual enemy) I still find the parallels between Hawkmoth and his butterfly monster and August and his Lollipop monster very interesting. Like I said above, August Lollipop monster was gigantic but simplistic in design since August is just a simple minded baby with a huge desire for Lollipops. Key words gigantic but simple. Hawkmoths Sentimonster on the other hand is alot smaller but much richer in detail because of his adult (and designer) mind. Beside that Gabriel also focused alot more on the monsters function than August (what a surprise I know). The butterflys wind are so strong that they can blow away all the heros and untangle Ladybugs yoyo net. Also with its wings and smaller body it would be able to quickly hunt the heros no problem. The Lollipop monster on the other hand was only good for crashing its Lolli arms into buildings, beside that it had no other useful qualities. Also It was too large to effectivly chase after the “kidnapped” August, not exactly well thought out August up your Monster game please.

In shorter Hawkmoth created a useful protector and August...well, his lollipop fever dream. Babies will be babies

Okay lets start with what is new though (or better said, what different this time).

For one the fact that August lost his control object but Hawkmoth never had it on him in the first place. This actually doesnt make a lot of difference in the Sentimonsters behavior, just that lollipopulus checked on his master what hapened that August lost his object and if he is in danger and Mothitus already knew that his Master was in grave danger and didnt had to check to know.

Then “Mayura” gave us the comfirmation straight away that Natalie can snap the Sentimonsters away like that

Also this shows us that Mayura is willing to strategically stop the Sentimonsters when she sees no use in them anymore. That is very different from Hawkmoth! She seems to really be here only to get results, not to make a show or take some kind of sadistic pleasure out of this or whatever. This move alone makes her seem like a scarily competent and level headed supervillain and honestly, its still one of my favorite things Mayura has done til now. Just this little snap speaks VOLUMES about her! :D

And then the BIGGEST difference is that after accepting the featherruption August was happy and healthy whereas Hawkmoth became weak and hurt.

Before “Miraculer” came out this is what I thought was what would normally happen to the featherrupted people. That because of the peacocks brokeness the people who Mayura powers up get hurt along side her (cuz before his featherruption Gabriel was completely fine) but, no, August is perfectly fine. This means there are two options here

That something happenes in “Reflektdoll” which makes Mayuras powers useable again so that the akuma victims wont get weakened from her giving them back-up (which is possible in my opinien, I could see this happening)

That something was different about this featherruption that normally wouldnt be the case. And I might have an idea even if I dont know if its really something the show would do. Would be totally awesome though if this were legit!

Okay, the one detail that DEFINITELY is different here from at least 90% of all the future featherruptions is that Hawkmoths control-object was CATACLYSMED!

To understand why I think the control-object being cataclysmed beforehand would have such an effect I need to clearify that even though I’m saying that Hawkmoth and Mayura “corrupt” their butterflies/akumas, feathers and the victims, its frankly nowhere true at all. I just like saying it like that. What they do is basically just filling the butterflies/feathers with power and let them find a fitting person so they can 1. build the connection between them and the chosen and 2. then manipulate the chosen people so they join them. There is no corruption going on here. Neither do they break or control either the butterflies/feathers nor the people themselves. They power up, thats what they do.

The cats power of destruction on the other hand is a whole different story here.

I’m planning on doing a whole post just about this at some point in future with alot more details, thoughts and ideas but I’ll try to do my best to explained it here without putting you guys through another 5000+ words of wildly digressing. (Me now 4 hours later: Yeah no I did it again, It got long xD)

Basically my point is that the Ladybug is capable of purifying the akumas and the feathers. “Purifying” IS the right word to use here because something doesnt have to be explicitly “corrupted” to be purifyied. As I said, Hawkmoth and Mayura power up, that means even if they dont corrupt them they still change the nature of the feather/butterfly and that is what the Ladybug reverses. So Ladybugs purifying (and the Miraculous Ladybug for that matter) is basically her taking back the changes other people did to something. Thats whats happening every episode and thats why shes the one again dealing with the feathers. She reverses what has been changed, no other power does that.

Back to Chat Noir

The show has explicitly told us that the Cat and the Ladybug are the most powerful miraculous in existence and that fact still stands even if Chat noir right now can not and doesnt WANT to use his powers or explore them to their limits in the current situation (speak, that they try to spread hope and safty in terror attacks which wreck the city almost on a daily basis. Not exactly the right time or space to use and try out new ways of using the boundless power of destruction). I dont think I have to explain that this is not how the situation will be forever, of course Adrien will actually use his powers to their limits later, the show forshadowed that to hell and back by now and “Chat Blanc” will VISUALLY introduce us to what CN actal powers look like (I'M SO EXCITED!!!) the same way they did it with queen bee/wasp (im not the only one who made the connection that they use the power up of the akumatization to show us or at least forshadow the Miraculouses future actual powers right? RIGHT???

Anyway, I DIGRESS

The Cat and the Ladybug are equals and since they are also Yin and Yang for each other it also means that not only do they as individuals and the nature of their miraculouses complete each other, their powers too complete the circle.

So when Ladybug can purify (again, meaning that she reverses every damage and everything that other people do to something) the Cat should be able to corrupt everything.

To keep this paragraph shorter (I will go into so much more detail in the post for this topic oh my god) lets just explain this with the example from the Heros day. The Cats destruction and “corruption” is showing itself here with something Chat Noir is doing all the time: He isnt completely pullverizing the akuma-object to dust, hes rather damaging and weakening it to the point were it cant be used for its original purpose anymore and is easily breakable/aleady falling apart. (This seems to be the default affect of Cataclysm) In this case it is Hawkmoths weapon, which is his cane/sword.

In my theory when Chat Noir uses Cataclysm on something he not only does the above, he also inflicts the still existing object with some kind of...lets call it a virus. Now you may ask yourself “Why? Why should destroying something so hard that it looses basically every usage it had + infecting it with an destructive virus but NOT actually destroying it out of existence be the default state of cataclysmed objects? Shouldnt the power of pure destruction rather basically wipe everything touched out of existence?”

And that is were we were wrong! And I am saying “we” because its almost 4am here and I just fucking noticed this and went back on my laptop oh my GOD I’m excited again! :D

The default of Cataclysm isnt “destroying it out of existence” because that is not what “Destruction” is. That is “Annihilation”! Destruction and annihilation are two very different concepts that shouldnt be mixed up but everybody is doing it because of how we use the word “destruction/destroy” in our daily vocabulary. That is why probably almost everybody of us at least once asked themselves why Chats cataclysm is portrayed so “oddly” in the show. “He’s not really destroying it, hes just fucking it up!” And thats exactly what hes doing because thats exactly what his power is! He’s destroying it so fucking hard that the cataclysmed object loosed every usage it could have. He’s not messing like Roi Singe either, the object is completely fucking worthless now! 100%. But what hes NOT doing is taking it out of existence because THAT is Annihiliation. Not the concept of his power. The only time you will see annihilation instead of destruction is when it concernes BODYS (Like Chats cataclysm death in “Catalyst” because by god they really can not show messed up human bodies slowly dying on the show. Only exception)

Now working with the actual “destruction” concept and not with the wrongly used “annihilation” one, the destructive “virus” in the destroyed object seems alot more plausible. Because when Chat Noir uses the power of pure destruction on something, really every usage it could possibly have needs to be effected by it and THAT also includes the possibility of it being used as an out of reach object for Akumatizations or featherruptions for example. Without the “Virus” Hawkmoths cane still would have had a consequence free use there but WITH the virus spreading through it the featherruption got corrupted by Chats destruction and hurt and weakened Hawkmoth so much that a limping Gabriel collapsed around somewhere still nearby and had to detransform out of exhaustion. And frankly, Mayura only powered up the cane for a really short amount of time. Imagine how Gabriel would have ended up if this had gone longer. He probably wouldnt have been able to recover so quickly afterwards

Alright guys this is really everything I have for this, let me know what you think ^^ And @letsescapismlife I hope i could partly show you why I love Miraculous so much. Dont get me wrong, I still have some other posts in work for your request but just the theorizing the whole night through and getting excited at 4am because you just noticed something, is one of the biggest joys I get out of this show ^^

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #ml theory #natalie sancoeur #gabriel agreste #adrien agreste #mayura #hawkmoth #le papillon #chat noir #cat noir #ml spoilers #miraculer #ml heros day #Chat Noirs powers of destruction #behavior of the Sentimonsters #Sentimonster #ml baby August #Mayuras peacock powers

[conchstellations]

watching the 1990 LOTF movie!! my reactions:

hello all!!!! i was bored at midnight again so here it is: me watchin the 1990 movie, for the first time, hell yeah!!!!! here we go!!! its got the other movie to live up to, so im excited for a comedy lmao!! tl;dr at end if u want!!! its kinda long btw lmao

- castle rock entertainment??? piggy u better watch out bro

- fuck is that the pilot???

- k this isnt a big thing but why are they in water? the plane left a scar in the earth, they were on land.

- okay, again, me nitpicking. but idk, to me, they dont look 12?? maybe its just cause theyre all dressed up n that but they dont look like 12 yr olds to me like the last movie

- why tf does ralph (?) have a glowstick lmaooooo

- why are they all together. where is my conch. wher are my stupid ass choir outfits. maybe im not there yet and they have them, but i want my stupid cloaks!!! jack would not stand for this!!!

- why TF is the pilot alive???

- am i supposed to know whos who by now?? did i just miss that?? which ones ralph? which ones jack?? wheres simon???

- conch??? the conchs main job is to bring them together, and here theyre already together so???

- piggy already makin me love him gosh piggy is child

- okay so im guessing brown hair kid is ralph

- piggy protecting conch rights

- i do like piggys sass... very iconic

- okay whAT??? is that blonde kid supposed to be jack?? first off, jack has red hair. second off, there is no way in hELL THAT MY basTARD child jack merridew would let ralph win the election just like that??? wheres my choir??? wheres my c sharp???

- okay jack would for sure call piggy shitbrain nvm

- mY CHOIR WOULD NOT ACCEPT THAT SINGING. 

- wheres simon????

- r they fuckin cookin lizards??? nvm look away simon pls dont be in this

- is thAT BITCH supposed to be Simon?? hes got a lot to look up to. also why the FUCK is the adult alive. taht ruins the whole purpose of the entire book

- was that a dream??? sorry im dumb af lmao

- alrght simon is kind of an adorable hild and he likes lizard maybe hes valid?

- idk.. for some reason this ralph isnt like, giving me ralph vibes?? hes just not bring like ralphish u know??

- now im getting a little bit more of our beloved lil bitch ralph..

- okay wtf is going on lmao

- “SHOVE THEIR DICK IN THE CONCH” had me laughing for a solid fucking 30 minutes. william golding who??? whoever wrote that line is the new icon

- ‘EAT SHIT AND DIE”  okay wtffff im so confused but also vv entertained

- for some reason jack’s character is like 100% off, but also somehow 100% on point “thats exactly what i meant” like holy shit. like idk hes not jack but just sometimes he radiates “jack if he was allowed to swear and was less of a lil bitch” energy

- ok simon and lizard?? valid

- i swear to FUCKING GOD i will kill that child!!!

- im gonna cry. wtf. why would you kill his lizard. even this movie’s jack seems like he thinks thats fucked up and hes a psychopath. also, lemme say, at this point, i think most of the book characters would beat the shit out of someone if they were mean to simon like that, bc the choir were his friends, and ralphs tribe respected him, sooooo

- why tf is it simons job to take care of the adult that shouldnt even be there? liek wtf hes grieving asshole

- no fucking duh hes scared of everyone but simon i would be too 

- honestly kinda glad they let ralph say fuck he deserved it

- “back off man im sick of ur shit and sos my gang” fuckin got em

- let me guess pilot dude is the new beast???

- honestly wtf is goin on lmao

- okay piggys actor actually made me sd when he was crying about his glasses so good job

- simon comin through with the glowstick. also, good job simon

- well at least the lord of the flies looks terrifying as always

- are samneric putting on warpaint this early?? bc i WILL NOT stand for that shit. i am a samneric STAN Ok??? they were two of the tHREE left when simon died who didnt become cowards and go savage. they wree LOYAL to ralph until they were LITERALLY tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then they helped ralph!!!! so fuck u. samneric are better than that.

- oh simon :(

- im glad they actually kind of (?) shwed simon like with the pig head bc last movei it was just ike them flipping the camera from pig to si so idkk

- ok that was a pretty ralph move to bring up the fire 24/7 lmao

- piggytits?? tf

- simon with hus fuckin glowstick lmao

- awe, simon

- okay HOLY SHIT. the sounds of what i assume to be them fucking stabbing simon are horrific. and then that cut to simon’s fucking mutiliated corpse?? holy SHIT. like as much as im complaining, thats the gruesome shit i expect from this book. i was expecting them to shy away from it bc its so awful, but im SO glad they didnt, bc that gave me fuckin chills. finally, something i can praise them on. thats the lord of the flies i expect. 

- i feel bad for ralph.. good job

- ok good. samneric came back. good job again.

- ok. nvm. the disrespect to my loyal children. alright.

- okay that child screaming as hes being whipped?? wtf.

- ok that line of piggy being scared that the russians will take them nad make them go into the olympics? gold. 

- piggys laugh is so pure

- why the fuCK are they finding instruments lmao

- poor piggy

- did roger just wolf whistle at ralph what the fuck is going on

- holy SHIt this movie does not hold back on the blood. but, wheres my conch explosion?? if ur gonna show him getting hit u gotta show the conch exploding. although, the conch means like nothing in this movie lmao

- okay wow piggys dead body cool cool cool

- ralph fucking YEETED that kid to the ground lmao

- okay, ralph crying?? good acting

tl;dr/conclusion/my thoughts: hooooo boy so i see why everyone likes 1960 one better. 

first, lets start with the obvious: why this isnt lord of the flies. because its not. if this wasnt telling me that its lord of the flies, i would think of it as that, really. first off, the conch. the conch represents civility, it brings them together. its important. when piggy dies, it dies, representing how all civility is now gone. i maybe saw the conch three times this movie. didnt do anything.

second, the pilot, captain whatever. the point of the beast to me is that they made it up. sure, the corpse was real, but it didnt pose a threat, it was simply a corpse. they made it into what it was, therefore proving that they are the beast. sure, the pilot here was harmless, but he grbbed a boy’s foot and was therefore making himself a possible threat. maybe its not a big deal i guess.

third, the characters. the point of lord of the flies is that they are rich kids who havent gone through anything. theyre the perfect, spoiled kids who havent done anything wrong. half of them are in choir. chOIR. in this movie, lets take jack for example. they said he stole  a car and got sent to military school. no. the point of jack is that he was a perfect kid. leader of choir. he was manipulitive and got even ADULTS to trust him. its part of hs character, showing that this perfect choir leader kid went fucking insane to prove how literally everyone can be evil. also samneric???? the direspect!! they were loyal to ralph until they were tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then, after roger like beat the shit out of them, they were STILL loyal. fuck you.

so those are the MAIN reasons why it wasnt lotf. 

now, what i liked i guess.

the swearing was NOT lotf, and it didnt fit with the story, but ill admit that i laughed, so i guess thats a plus.

second, i liked how they showed the gore, i guess? sounds weird, hear me out. lord of the flies is a gruesome, violent, awful book. theres descriptions of death in detail, and im so glad they showed it. when simon’s body was there, literally torn to shreds? the shock of it, the true savagery you see that these boys murdered him SO violently, is amazing, because thats the essence of lotf. simons death shows how theyve lost all their civility, and showing such a gruesome corpse really brings that through. so good job.

and now, of course, the obvious: thats not the characters i pictured when i read the story. simon doesnt look like that, ralph doesnt look like that, jack doesnt look like that.

 where did the choir go, too? forgot to mention that, and i think that also adds into the whole, theyre supposed to be perfect kids and then become savage thing. also, the choir was a group. they voted for jack and went with him for a reason. 

so yea, thats that. dont know why people would read this lmao but thats my thoughts!!!! i just need to keep myself busy when i watch movies and to make sure i focused, i figured id just write down my thoughts as i went. if u wanna watch for free, look up lord of the flies 1990 google drive. 

;)))) and yea im posting this at 230 am lmao why not

#lord of the flies #lotf #lotf 1990

[cleaduvalls]

i watched all 20 episodes of spy kids: mission critical in about a week and here are my thoughts (3/5)

1.9

i havent watched this in like 2 days i dont even remember what happened last time

why is everything in the desert the desert sucks

alsjhiajgdf i love tom kenny

listen i know hes like a superandroid or whatever but i really hope he and therese fall in love

wait hold up. i thought they already had midterms???? like the did that before scorpion went to her fashion shoot. AND they were kupkakkes midterms. whats up with this school

no drinking in class???? rude. let them hydrate

that seems imbalanced

aHh

thats only like 10

also that book is dummy thicc

its ok ace my nose whistles too

shut up carmen youre just jealous because shes pretty

there are no seasons its a desert

ok dude stop breathing so hard

he JUST said that

anywhere between an hour and umm... 11 months

you put it on one page why are all the pages back

me but with physics

thats literally the best line in the whole series

juni how do you not know that you were at a safe H O U S E

theyve been gone for like 2 hours are they not allowed to study?????

what even is AWOL???

absent without leave. neat

talon gives off some big draco energy

tick tock???? how dare you

slkdhfa she called sir awesome honey shes such a mom

dont make it obvious

oh look they made it obvious

roll credits

i was in cleveland when i watched this episode - well actually i left that day - and i was s h o o k e t h

also hes right. no spy would be in cleveland. theres 3 buildings

oh me too

right bc shes the only “I.A.”

ew

eW

this isnt HARRY POTTER. or maybe it is. talon is a hardcore draco

oh right bc swearing is for Men™

update tumblr decided to break AGAIN (im boutta cry btw) so we lost about 5 minutes from the end of 1.9 and 7 from the beginning of 1.10

1.10

its a DOORBELL do they not have those in the outback steakhouse

lots of people. doofenshmirtz, other people who i cant think of right now, etc

???? no it wont????

did your troop leader not give you The Talk??? you NEVER go in the customers house

ace no. youre allowed to not buy treats

theres a triforce on her vest, too

shes just gonna go to another house yall. shell be f i n e

oh my God shes holding hands with mauly im gonna c r y

yeah its called saliva

nope only scorpion lives in a castle

stop bringing up spy sense and tell him you saw her glare at you

HES ALLOWED TO LIKE FOOD

how do you know that he doesnt have his phone if YOU dont know where it is and HE cant tell you

i love how she says "floor. ceiling. more thumb"

haha i found the birth of venus

oh and the creation of adam

hes like squidward, which would make sense bc goldies voiced by tom kenny who voices spongebob

"sebastian oliver" "shadow operative" S.O. nice

why do you have a trailblazers badge. youre 4. i didnt get one til i was a cadette

also sebastian???? isnt that the toymakers first name????? you cant have 2 sebastians

also why do you have braces. youre still 4

"SIR MEANIE FACE" IF SOMEONE SAID THAT TO ME ID BE D E V A S T A T E D

SCORPION LET HER CRY SHES F O U R

so really, spy sense DID help

oooooh, sentry duty, thats gotta hurt

WHAT THE H E C K YOURE F O U R

she looks like frickin plushtrap

aCE NO YOURW GONNA D I E

oh trust me they hurt me more than you know

dude theyre so thin youre f i n e

eh, still worked

clicking her teeth together so hard must H U R T

i think she can get out of there. also shes concussed now

why was that so quiet. why did it get louder

thats not a y shape

no, they spy kids

oh shiitake mushrooms thats what THEY said

whenever they say pinnoquinoxx i always think of pinnochio

ahdhhsjak i miss pizza parties 😔

well now we ALL expect it

also, no one????? pick a cooler code name. your regular name was cool and now youve ruined it

2.1

oh theres finally a skip intro option. im not taking it

stop saying that its weird

EWWWWWW CRUSTY THATS SO G R O S S

haha shes shopping w the goon. love that

oh yeah i didnt get to tell yall yet but i absolutely h a t e gablet

a lot of people, juni

listen i know a jt (but he doesnt go by jt) and uhhhhhhh were not gonna go there

why are you happy. what about second semester makes you so happy

boi thats a tardis

the design on his hoverboard looks like the aperture science logo

i paused to read the Floops label and it says "fried corn and sugar loop shaped breakfast substitute, net wt. 13 oz" ITS NOT EVEN A CEREAL ITS A BREAKFAST SUBSTITUTE IM C R Y I N G

listen i know hes technically scorpions dad but i dont think he can legally be in the dorm rooms

aww, thats sweet

i dont think gablet has an attached printer

gablet always sounds like shes mocking people

oh dear God its dolores umbridge

haha nerd

awesome no im gonna die

whenever carmen yells she sounds like link

ok so i didnt find a reason why she sounds like link but i DID find that theyre making a wherea waldo tv series so uhhhh thats fun

why does the cat have a bandaid

GABLET S T O P

OH!!!!!! ON THE WALL!!!!!!! ITS THE TUMBLR POST WITH THE FORK AND KNIFE ETIQUETTE PICTURE!!!!! YOU KNOW THE ONE!!!!!

oh no fart jokes

its even the basic fart sound effect

BAHAHAH MY PHONE VIBRATED AT THE SAME TIME HE FARTED THAT WAS WEIRD

oh no i hate him

stop SLURPING

uh yeah???? you heard them yelling about it

how??? does that work??? you cant just like catch electricity in a cup.... can you???? i havent studied it since 4th grade

oh worm??

goldies such a boomer

worm??

psi shouldnt be at the drawing board right now. he also shouldnt be confused

what happened to the lasers

wait nvm we havent gotten to that episode yet

ace is valid, dark is Scary

im gonna punch gablet in the face

that doesnt sound realistic

do you not have stairs??????

dont you mean inside AND out??

that flashlight did NOTHING

how did it die so fast?????

who else would you be talking to??

isnt that bowser from the mario movie we dont speak of??

i havent gotten a chance to tell yall but i absolutely love clemp. hes such a mood

hes the greatest spy

does it use a mini transmooker???? ig it doesnt bc gablet works but thatd be lit

SEE SHES IMMORTAL

me when i see something interesting

ME WHEN IM NOT ON MY PHONE

i dont think you can legally say that

you killed her

me

wow nice promo

also just???? bring a charger????? like youre the tech girl why do you not have one at all times

how?????? did you go so fast

machete electric bubbles??? nice

just task manager him

mother of all boards sounds like it could be a cuss...mother of all fuckers

also throwback to 1.7 when she says "his ai firewalled his motherboard" i keep expecting her to say "his ai firewalled this motherfucker"

yes i said keep ive watched that episode too many times to count

worm??

why did you giggle and make a flirty pose. are yall supposed to get together???

did you????? kill him????????? holy shit

2.2

thats what my dad does. he loves hospital corners

idc what it is you have a bazooka

ok if it was a spider id get it, australia has some deadly ones, but does it have deadly ants too???? like is that a Thing????

also ants in your room are gross

was that just a cameo??? i dont remember what happens in this one

haha because he said grapevines and wine has dregs and wine is made of grapes

for the boys??? thats so cute

listen idc how evil you are EVERYONE should cry over otters

so one of the parents has a sister or sister in law named roxanna..... hmmm.......

if you dont use your turn signal h*ck u

hes gonna D I E

i just looked at my shoe and i think theres blood on it???? what the h*ck

suspicious??? about.... what???? having fears???? not being perfect?????

juni that was awful wording

JUNI WHAT DID YOU D O TO HIM

like i know what he DID but the way it plays out makes it seem like something significant

i thought his name was heavy meddle not.... deth metal???? thats how the subtitles spell it

hahah me

he sounds like bling bling boy

yeah ik im a fool thanks for reminding me

what are you gonna do??? kill juni????

POOR WORD CHOICE JUNI

oh he gives exactly 0 h*cks

a shoe doesnt make that sound

crack bugs?????

see thats why you dont mess with things

im a god among boys??????? what????

did you... kill them????????????

thats any australian person

theyre so stupid i love them

good i hate her

i thought the gunk just like... disappeared from the guitar but actually it shot off

he died... 😔

uhh.... yeah????? was it not obvious?????

me when i have 5 dollars

#spy kids #spy kids spoilers #spy kids mission critical #carmen cortez #juni cortez

[anuschkalova]

The Backup Plan (Chapter 1: The Approaching) Elliot x Reader

Summary: Elliot who suffers from weekly crying attacks finds comfort by chatting with a girl called Y/N that he met online. They have a real mutual understanding and grow close. Elliot enjoys the virtual connection, but is soon forced to step out of his comfort zone.  Pairing: Elliot Alderson x Reader Word count: 2.795 Part 2 HERE

If Elliot had to name one thing that he hated the most, it would be his loneliness.

He hated it whenever the silence overfilled his apartment, making him aware of the missing. He hated the overwhelming sadness that attacked his body, forcing him to curl up into a weeping ball and let it all out. He hated his own fucking blubbering; it was pathetic.  And he hated the fact that his morphine was out. 

Elliot squeezed the empty plastic can in his hand and threw it against the wall. „Fuck!“, he spat and pulled at his hair in frustration, walking in circles. Tonight was far worse than usual - his whole mind was intoxicated by the mixture of every single negative thought he had collected over the years, and this damn mental cocktail was hard to swallow. 

He needed something else to numb the pain, to turn his overheated system into sleep mode. What Elliot needed was a backup plan, a good one and preferentially in the next few seconds.

Flipper’s sudden barking made him slightly jump and Elliot stared at the little dog. She always did this during his crying sessions, probably because she sensed his anxiety. But the longer Elliot stared at the big round black eyes it seemed they fixed something behind him, so he turned and sighed. The computer.

„Of course…“ Elliot sat down and furiously tipped on the keyboard, bringing the monitor to life. Its harsh light illuminated his puffy face and the rest of the dimmed room. 

One klick and the browser opened, Elliot typed swiftly and the white page turned into his surrender: the blue version of his morphine - the most popular social media platform. He created an account, logged in and began searching. Looking for someone to write to, getting off his mind for the moment, exchanging nonsense and feeling normal for once. He went to ‚public groups‘ and thought about a topic, something that his future dialog partner would share with him; a common interest was essential for a fluent conversation. Elliot knew that, but only theoretical.  It was a group called Best movies of all time where he read Y/N’s comment about The Nightcrawler, discussing the two faces of society with three other members and without thinking twice his hands had already started a private conversation.

Elliot A., 12:43  What are your favorite movies?

He brought one hand to his mouth and bit at his knuckles impatiently. Shit, he was so desperate that he forgot a ‚Hey‘ or ‚How are you‘. She probably won’t answer him. One minute had passed and the loneliness was still there. Elliot moved the cursor to close the conversation, eager to find someone else, when a noise accompanied the new message he got.

Y/N, 12:45  I will tell you after a proper greeting.

Elliot A., 12:45  Hey.

He hesitated and typed more.

Elliot A., 12:45  Hey. I’m sorry.

God, why did he have to be that awkward? But nevertheless, he got an answer again.

Y/N, 12:46  Hey, don’t be. I was just messing with you ;-) I do like thriller movies like Shutter Island, Split and Hick. What about you?

Elliot felt his tensed shoulders relax as his eyes roamed over the letters. 

Elliot A., 12:46  Sounds interesting. I like any kind of movie as long as it’s good.

Y/N, 12:46  Haha, and what is ‚good‘?

Elliot A., 12:46  Back to the future is pretty good.

Y/N, 12:47  Yeah, I’ve seen it. So you like the sci-fi genre or just the imagination of traveling through time?

Elliot A., 12:47  Don’t we all wish to do that somehow?

Y/N, 12:47  In order to escape reality, yes. 

Elliot leaned closer to the monitor. He felt a weird sensation, as if somebody had put a cozy blanket over his back and rubbed the soft fabric on his skin while whispering I understand you. Did Y/N understand him?

Elliot A., 12:47  Do you wish to escape reality sometimes?

His heart pounded wildly in his chest as he awaited her answer. Elliot was so nervous that he didn’t register his burning eyes due to not blinking. His body however forced him to do so and after his eyes were set back to the monitor he had a new message.

Y/N, 12:48  Yes.

Her answer was short, but it revealed so much more. Elliot, intrigued by Y/N, clicked on her picture to visit her profile. It was set private, so he just stared at her smiling face. She looked so happy and open-minded, her messy bun had lost some strains of hair that framed her blushed cheeks. What story hid beneath those sparkling eyes? What made her wish to escape reality? Elliot’s fingers began to tingle, they always did before he hacked a person. He felt the urge to open her sealed book, reading the missing lines that would complete her story, the beginning and the ripped out pages - he wanted to know everything - every misery and every secret. 

The familiar annoying noise of another message interrupted his thoughts.

Y/N, 12:49  I don’t want to seem weird or anything, considering we chatted for only 5 minutes, but I’m glad you texted me, Elliot. 

Every word became more blurry as Elliot’s eyes teared up. He ran his hand over his face and took a deep breath. Her honesty unwrapped his true intention, so gently and careful not to rip the thin paper that covers his vulnerability. 

Elliot A., 12:49  I am the weird one. I know it must sound pathetic, but I needed someone to talk to.

Y/N, 12:49  Then you’re not alone. I need someone to talk as well. Idk why, but it’s so much easier with a stranger than a friend.

There it was. He read the sentence over and over like a mantra. You’re not alone. You’re not alone. You’re not alone. And then, the loneliness was gone. Elliot, who went to therapy for over two years now, started to understand Krista’s words. His therapist always urged him to tell his thoughts instead of bottling it all up inside. Now, the relief was overwhelming as the lid was removed, the inner pressure left his body in pleasant small waves. 

Elliot A., 12:49  I understand you. 

Y/N, 12:50  :-) Btw, I guess you’re a man? You have a unisex name, my sister’s name is Elliot as well. 

Elliot A., 12:50  You’re right. How do you know?

He had no profile picture and no information given to the site besides his name. Of course Elliot had used a fake e-mail account during the registration process. The internet was not trustworthy. 

Y/N, 12:50  The way you write gives it away. Or maybe I just traveled through time and got a glimpse of you.

She tried to lighten up the mood and Elliot appreciated it. His lips twitched into a quick smile before he typed his answer.

Elliot A., 12:51  I take option two. So how do I look?

It took a while for Y/N to answer, so he went over to Flipper’s bowl to fill it with fresh water. The little dog wagged its tail happily while drinking. The roll chair creaked when Elliot sat back to read her text.

Y/N, 12:55  You have bright eyes, blue or green, I couldn’t tell in the short time and you have natural curly hair, brunette and not too short. You wear glasses and a knitted oversized sweater with cats on it.

Elliot A., 12:56  I almost believed you. 

Y/N, 12:56  Was worth the try and hey, I don’t judge.

Elliot A., 12:56  I’m more a dog person. 

Y/N, 12:56  Cool. What’s his/her name?

Elliot A., 12:56 Flipper.

And so Elliot told Y/N the story of how he got Flipper, of course leaving out the hacking part, and they continued writing about this and that. He learned that she was addicted to coffee and long hot baths; that she enjoyed going to the cinema and secretly danced at home to 80’s music. Y/N on the other hand found out that Elliot worked for a cybersecurity company and that he had a sister as well. When Y/N excused herself for a moment, Elliot checked the time. It was 2:28 am and for the first time during this day he was calm. The anxiety had crawled back into the back door of his mind and Elliot won’t open it for the rest of the night. He decided to end the chat and go to sleep, work awaited him in 4.5 hours.

Elliot A., 02:28  I’ll go to bed now. It was nice talking to you, Y/N. 

Y/N, 02:29  Alright. Good night, Elliot. Keep the systems clean :-)

Elliot A., 02:29  I will.

Y/N, 02:29  See you soon.

___

That conversation took place on a Sunday night, and since then the two of them would chat every time Elliot suffered from his loneliness. He could go for a week, completely fine by himself, enduring the lack of human interactions in his life, just to break down within the safety of his apartment. But Elliot had his personal backup plan - Y/N. They wrote about nonsense and meaningful things, about deep emotions and opinions. She was the anchor when his anxiety washed over him like a giant wave, she would keep him on the surface and Elliot stopped panicking.

The routine was set like a clock:  Crying and writing to Y/N. One week past. Crying and writing to Y/N. One week past. Crying again and writing to Y/N.

It worked. She became an important part in Elliot’s life and so it was only natural for him to hack her. He had lasted two days before he gave in and followed his nature. Private messages with friends and family, bank and e-mail accounts, online-shopping activities and social media profiles were not safe from Elliot’s endless thirst for knowledge. He was more than glad to find out that she told him the truth. Then, something caught his attention in her browser’s history, a specific search.

>>Cybersecurity company New York Elliot<<

Y/N had tried to find him. Elliot leaned back in his chair and kept his eyes locked to his name. It was understandable, her wish to put a face to the person she spend hours and hours writing to. Elliot got it, but he still felt uneasy about the imagination showing her his face.  Their relationship would reach a new level of intimacy. He wouldn’t be a screen to her anymore, but a real human. A human she could meet in real life.

„Elliot?“ Krista’s soft voice addressed him, causing him to snap out of his thoughts.  Today was Thursday and Elliot sat on the large couch of his therapist’s office. She titled her head a little. „You are quieter than usual. What are you thinking about?“ Elliot refused to meet her eyes and instead looked down at his fumbling hands. He hadn’t told Krista about Y/N until now.

„I’ve met someone…“ Elliot could see from the corner of his eyes how the woman’s head lifted up, eyebrows raised. He got her full attention. „That’s great, Elliot. Tell me about him, her.“ „Her name is Y/N… We are writing a lot“, he said slowly and his face softened. It was the first time he said her name out loud and he liked the way it left his lips. Krista noticed the change of Elliot’s mimic and smiled in satisfaction. Seeing her patient like that really warmed her heart.

„So you haven’t met Y/N so far?“ Elliot’s head twitched slightly and he turned towards the window. „Elliot?“ „I’m afraid of showing her my face. What if she’ll be disappointed?“, he spoke quietly and Krista watched him swallowing hard, fighting against the upcoming tears.

„What if I won’t match her expectations? We live in a world where looks and status rule. Swiping left because the nose is too big or the eyes are too narrowed, the first impression is always crucial for a relationship.“ Elliot began to shake as the anger built up, his eyes darting across the room before he finally locked gazes with his therapist. Krista raised her hand and motioned him to calm down. He took a deep breath and clenched his hands. 

„You are talking about relationships. Do you feel something for Y/N and are afraid of her possible rejection?“ Elliot shrugged his shoulder and kept his eyes down. „But Elliot, she must be special if you write so much with her. Do you really believe that she’s superficial and will abandon you?“ Krista was right. Y/N wasn’t like the others, she was willing to write to a complete stranger who’s face she hadn’t seen. She had trusted him and what did Elliot do? Hacking and accusing her for being a hypocrite. 

„No…“, he mumbled and Krista nodded. „I know I tell you this every time, but real human interactions are important for you, Elliot.“

___

Y/N, 10:13  Hey, how are you? 

Elliot frowned at Y/N’s message. It had been three days since his last crying session and she was never the one who approached him first. Y/N always waited for him to start the conversation, because she probably knew not to push him.

Elliot A., 10:14  Hey, is everything okay?

She didn’t answer right away and it fed Elliot’s worry. He tipped his fingers against the wooden desk and his nervous tick made Flipper bark in response. „Sorry“, he said to the dog and finally he heard the noise of a new message.

Y/N, 10:17  I’m sorry it’s just… I feel so alone right now. My shithead of boyfriend broke up with me and I’m not sad about it, just really mad. I knew that he cheated on me and I planed on breaking up, it’s just that he accused me of destroying the relationship… He blamed me for everything and it’s just so frustrating.

Guilt laid heavily on Elliot’s shoulder as he recalled today’s therapy session. He also had blamed his anxiety on her and Elliot regretted it. He also regretted hacking her and therefore feeling the lack of surprise. He had read the chats of Y/N and her boyfriend, hacked his profiles and found out about his dirty secret named Samantha. Judging by the texts, he had cheated on Y/N for 1.5 years and Elliot was often tempted to blow his cover.

But he didn’t, because Y/N knew it. She wrote with her sister about his cheating and how she was going to break up with him. Or using her words ‚beating his ass up‘.

Elliot A., 10:18  Don’t be sorry. I would feel the same. He is more than a shithead if he gives up on such a smart and funny woman.

He hoped that his words eased her pain a little. God, he was so bad at this. How did Y/N just managed to safe him every time he was close to falling apart? He saw her typing, but then she paused a moment before she continued.

Y/N, 10:20  Thank you, Elliot. 

She was holding back something, he felt it.

Elliot A., 10:20  You can tell me anything, Y/N. Don’t hide.

Elliot scoffed at his own text. Don’t hide. He should be the last person telling her to not hide. But his words actually reached her and Elliot’s heart stopped beating when he saw her plead.

Y/N, 10:22  I just wish you could hold me in your arms. I’m sorry if it’s weird, but I trust you so much and I know you probably want to keep it this way and maybe it’s just because of my emotions, but I want to know you more.

Elliot could visualize her crying face - eyes red and cheeks glistening from her salty tears. She must be so desperate if she asked him for the one thing she knew he avoided all the time. Elliot’s backup plan was a real human with real emotions and a beating heart. Y/N had saved him so many times, so wasn’t it his turn to return the favor? His hands ghosted over the keyboards, waiting for his brain’s order. He wet his dry lips as he tipped his message to her.

Elliot A., 10:24  We can meet tomorrow if that’s okay.

To be continued… Part 2 HERE

#mr robot #mr robot imagine #Elliot Alderson #elliot x reader #elliot x you #rami malek #rami malek x reader

[nerdylittleshit]

Thoughts about Spn 14x03

SPOILERS AHEAD! BEWARE!

Soooooooooooooooo, another great episode. This week I think the balance between character focus and plot was more equal, after two very character driven episode. Though I do like the slow development of the plot so far. There are two minor things I want to complain about: first I wished we would have seen more of the Wayward Girls, aka Claire, Patience and Alex, instead of just mentioning them. Second: CAS AND JODY STILL HAVEN’T MET! How is that even possible? But maybe we should be careful for what we wish for, because we demanded for years for Cas and Charlie to meet and when they finally did Charlie died an episode later.

Anyway. There is a lot to unpack again, so as always, let’s take a closer look.

Angry AF

Hey, I didn't mean…  I didn't mean to be a dick.

So let’s start with the man of the hour: Dean. Oh how we missed you and your snark (btw I love Sam’s beard and so does Jody, and that is really all that matters). There is a whole lot of unanswered question concerning Michael and the episode doesn’t even try to answer them, because as for now they are not important. Important is Dean and what Michael did to him. Dean is, as other Kaia noted, scared, but to him fear translates into anger, because that is the only way he has learned to deal with it. He acts like a man possessed (oh the irony), and wants to skip to the end of the story where he kills Michael. Which is such an interesting meta commentary, because the show tells us that it will take some time until we get some answers, that both Dean and the audience have to muddle through what this possession made of him, until we get the big showdown. This is really just the start, and we can’t skip ahead to the end. And this makes me think we might get entire season that is more interested in its characters than the plot, than instead of the multiple story arcs we had in prior season we really just get one big story this season and that it takes some time to tell it. Which makes me really excited.

The most interesting part to me was Dean’s confrontation with the other Kaia. She noted the similarities between Dean and Michael, how they both run on threats and violence. And the episode before already asked us the question if the connection between angel and vessel isn’t just the bloodline, but a similarity in character as well. 14x02 left it open for interpretation if it was Nick who had killed his family, if he might have been a monster even before Lucifer made him one. This week we saw how very alike Dean and Michael are, at least from Kaia and other Kaia’s perspective. Kaia experienced Dean as a violent man, as someone she was afraid of. We do know that while Dean has a dark side that there is more to him, we do get the full picture, whereas Kaia only saw a glimpse. Is it possible than that (arch)angels feed on the worst version of their vessels? Or simply bring out the features similar to them? Michael and Lucifer then, sinister creatures, fed on both Nick and Michael’s dark side, whereas Cas, the angel with too much heart, was influenced by Jimmy’s kindness and his wish to do the right thing? I always found the relationship between vessels and angels very interesting and it seems this season will give us a few new insides on it.

The other thing that has changed is of course Dean’s home, the bunker. Naturally Dean will need some time to get used to all the people there, and that they see Sam as their leader. In contrast to that the scene where Dean commanded Cas to get in his head seemed almost intimate, just the core three of them. And speaking of Cas, it seemed to me that there was some sort of distance between Dean and Cas, despite Dean allowing Cas to get in his head. There was no reunion hug (Jack got one), and Dean was very quick to agree that Cas should look after Lora. It was like Dean tried to put some walls up, but then he did the same thing around Sam, so it might not be specific related to Cas. I’m curious to see how their next interaction will be.

There is also still the mystery of the spear, what it is exactly and why it could hurt Michael (and possibly kill him). Do Archangels exist in every universe and could that been an Archangel weapon? How did other Kaia got it? And what is her plan/motivation?

Also, the modified vampires knew that Dean was Dean again, and no longer Michael, so can monsters sense angels? (Was that mentioned at some point?)

We end the episode with Dean once again drowning in guilt, thinking it is his fault alone that Michael got the chance to hurt people. Guilty Dean is known for not always making the best choices, so we have to wait to see where this gets us.

Wayward AF

I just feel like I sort of already lost before I ever began.

As I mentioned before I wish we would have seen more of the Wayward Girls, because I love their interactions, both with Jody and each other, but I take what I can get. The Wayward story is now intervened with the Michael story through other Kaia and her weapon. I don’t think that was the original plan for Wayward Sisters, as they probably would have a myth-arc independent from Supernatural, but this way it means we are definitely going to see them again, and they will (hopefully) play a bigger role this season. And Jody and Cas might actually meet, though it seemed on the phone like they do know each other (though it is possible they only know each through phone conversations, because I do hope they didn’t had their first meeting off camera already).

One of the big things we can take away from this episode is that Dreamhunter has been confirmed canon. I think Bobo confirmed after 13x10 that Dreamhunter is definitely a thing, but still it is good it is canon now, especially as it wasn’t necessary for the plot to make them romantic. Claire’s guilt over Kaia could be still as intense without her having romantic feelings, but they still went there. Which I will use to talk briefly about Destiel, because we can’t talk about the one without the other. Or we could have if Wayward Sisters would have become its own show, because then Dreamhunter would have no longer be related to Destiel, as they would have both appeared on separate shows. And sure the CW has a thing for spin-offs or shows that share the same universe (Arrowverse) but those shows usually don’t parallel each other. But unfortunately Wayward Sisters isn’t its own show, but for now part of Supernatural, and because of that Dreamhunter do mirror Destiel. And Bobo knows that because he put in those parallels deliberate in 13x10, and Dabb knows it as well, so I take that as a win on the Destiel front.

I liked that we got to know other Kaia a bit better. She is not a monster, and she might even become an ally to the Winchesters and their fight against Michael. I wonder though why she wanted to kill Claire. She confirms that she and our Kaia were connected, because they were both Dreamwalkers. Does that mean she was aware of what our Kaia felt for Claire? And if so, why would she kill Claire? What is her goal? There are too many questions surrounding her character for her not to come back, and I do hope we will see Claire again and her reaction to other Kaia.

And lastly, that quote of Jody I put up there: in show Jody talks about her grief about losing Kaia before she even got to know her, but from outside this is Bobo talking about losing his show before it even started, about the characters he loves so much, and the meaningful stories they were meant to tell us. Those lines and Kim acting them so brilliantly was a huge F*ck You towards the CW, showing us the kind of depth Wayward Sisters could have had, and making me longing for this show even more. I hope they shove in as much of Wayward Sisters into the show as they can, but I’m still very bitter about everything we could have had and that we don’t get to see.

Nougat AF

Well what you did today, you just made me so proud.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww Jack (that is just my usual reaction whenever I see him). Seems like he didn’t listen at all when Cas told him last episode to find value in his own, but never mind, this week’s case will do the trick. Obviously Lora functioned as a Jack mirror in a not that subtle way. She ran away from home, because she was sick of being treated as a child, the same way Jack planed to leave, because of how Sam, Dean and Cas have treated him. So far the mirror works. But then Lora met a witch, a witch that was at first kind, but then she locked her up, and started to steal her youth, which then resulted in Lora’s (temporally) death. We know that Sam, Dean and Cas have been kind to Jack, have fed him, and also currently locked him up for his own safety. And in the end Jack starts to wither away in some way, the way Lora did. But it wouldn’t make a lot of sense if Sam, Dean and Cas would be the witch in this story, so who is? Someone we already met or someone in the future? Why is Jack’s health deteriorating? Is it a result of the spell the witch used on Lora? Does it have other origins? And how can we help him? Just after jack realized that he can help other people without his powers, that there are many ways to be useful, after Cas offered him a hunting trip. I can’t deal with Jack being sick, he is my sweet Nougat child.

Some other things:

Speaking of Jack, he referred to Cas as one of his dads, contracting the statement from last week that Kelly’s family is the only real family he has left. But also, from Lora’s perspective, who doesn’t know who or what Jack is and his relationship to the Winchesters, this sounds like Jack has two gay dads… which you know is actually true.

I love that the show didn’t forget about Sam’s weird obsession with serial killers.

They have a bottom drawer marked “gross stuff”. Of course they have.

Obviously Posh Spice is Michael’s favourite Spice Girl.

#supernatural #spn 14x03 #the scar #spn meta #spoilers #my meta

[honnus]

Uncharted: A Personal Story

I’ve been debating typing this all out for some time but never found the right medium, figured Tumblr would be the best shout since y’know, my Fakebook is mostly full of sarcastic, narcissistic asswipes haha so here goes...

(Oh no...not another Uncharted post I hear you say, but bear with me)

I freakin’ love the Uncharted game series (If you haven’t guessed!) the locales, the stories, the life or death run-for-your-damn-life set pieces, the gunfights, but mostly the characters. I think what mostly drew me to the character of Nate Drake was exactly what a friend of mine said when trying to debate that Tomb Raider is better; that Drake is just a guy. That’s the allure of his character. He has the one liners, the attitude, but really he’s just a guy. A guy who is constantly in way over his head, out for whatever he can get. We’ll not go into the whole climbing aspect of the games as even a diehard fan like myself knows that those sections are super far fetched haha.

The games all have a kind of historical and mythological element to them, with the exception of the final entry. The first game had us following in the footsteps of Sir Francis Drake while chasing the treasure of El Dorado, Among Thieves had Drake following clues from Marco Polo while searching for Shambhala in Nepal, While Uncharted 3 drew from the archaeology days of T.E. Lawrence and had players in search of Iram of the Pillars deep in the Rub’ al Khali desert. The Final game had Drake globe trotting to find Libertalia; the pirate sanctuary founded by Legendary pirates Henry Avery and Thomas Tew. So in a way, I guess you could say that the Uncharted games are educational too!

It’s not just Drake that’s the main draw to the games though. His mentor; Victor “Sully” Sullivan (voiced to perfection by Richard McGonagle btw!) is your classic grumpy, sleazy, cantankerous old geezer with a heart of platinum! While Elena Fisher - the love interest - is just too perfect. She’s the ying to Drake’s yang and despite playing second fiddle to Drake for the first three games, you always cared about her and more precisely; about her and Drake in a will they? won’t they? that spanned 3 games before they walked off into the sunset together at the end of ‘Drake’s Deception’ (or so we thought...) cue 2016 and along comes ‘A Thief’s End’, *quote* Nathan Drake’s Last Uncharted *unquote* and before the game has even come out there’s rumours flying left, right and centre - 

Drake dies...Elena dies...Sully dies! 

It was too much to take! Since 2007 we had gotten to know these characters so well, as fans it made us happy to think of them together and now they were making another game (which we definitely wanted!) but Drake’s final adventure just sounded so ominous! (Hell, even the title was ominous)

I'm going to go ahead right about now and say **SPOILERS** even though the game has been out for 3 years but y’know, some people might want to find out shit for themselves...

Thankfully, despite scenes of heartbreak that were beautifully acted with green room, motion capture and special effects, etc. (so lifelike!) the pair survived a pirate island and Nate’s white lies and truly got the happy ending they deserved. The final entry to the Uncharted series even got a little epilogue where you play as their 12 year old daughter (most sites say 11-13 year old, so hey) Cassie, at their perfect, dream beach house and she stumbles upon the keys to her dad’s (usually always) locked wardrobe which contains little treasures he picked up throughout his earlier adventures. The game ends with Nate and Elena heading off on a sailboat full of cold drinks and snacks, with Nathan starting to tell Cassie the story of the first Uncharted game (would bring a tear to a glass eye)

It was really - the perfect ending - these characters that you’d almost grown up with, saying their final goodbye to you. The softie in me pictures Cassie being blown away by all the crazy stories the pair would tell their daughter. Video games nowadays have just as much pull as that Netflix or Amazon show, it’s so easy to get attached to characters that you almost don’t want to let go, yet at the same time you don’t want them to be bled dry until all believability and all the ways you feel that you relate to them have faded and they’re reduced to a few key phrases...

So...what was the point in this post and what was to debate i hear you ask?

back in 2007 when the very first Uncharted was released, I was in a very dark place. I don’t really like talking about my depression and anxiety, not so much for the whole stigma around it but I usually find that once you open that door everybody starts walking on eggshells around you and treating you different. Maybe that’s just the anxiety playing up but I feel like things are different once you’ve told someone. Can’t really explain it well, even as I try to type it...

I didn’t leave the house except to go and come home from work, I found myself alienated from friends, even when they tried to get me to join their uni societies and such I just didn’t want to socialise with anyone at all really. I never told anybody at home how I was feeling as the whole I’ve had a good childhood train of thinking began. That and It’d be insulting to them. I kept to myself with many dark thoughts and didn’t do much at all. Then Uncharted came along. An exciting game with a great story and a confident main character. More and more I found myself coming out my shell the more I played. I guess you could say that I started channelling my inner Nathan Drake and before long my confidence returned and the D&A subsided...for a time...

   fast forward 2 years to 2009 and MUCH had changed! I got back in touch with an old school friend from primary that I had lost touch with, had my good friends Stuart and Alan round a lot for dvd/game nights and also a girl had joined our friend group, Jenny. I was confident, outgoing and full of cheer. Not even work bothered me! It was safe to say that Jenny was flavour of the month after we’d gotten a bit closer (nothing ended up coming of it other than friendship. We still talk nowadays but she lives in Australia, married with a son and I'm very happy for her) Was out every week at Karaoke after work and Uncharted 2 rolled around giving us more Drake, Sully and Elena but also introducing the sexy character of Chloe Frazer among other memorable baddies. With this game I was really in a good place and all it did was further my confidence. The more I played these games, the more healthy I was it seemed. Probably sounds a strange thing to say but I guess it’s like art - everybody interprets things different. 

Jump forward to November 2011 and Uncharted 3 comes out. Now I'm in a very different place altogether. Positively beaming with confidence (some might say overconfidence...I say to them, shaddap lol) and I have a girlfriend. My first girlfriend in 2 years (who would later become my now fiancée, Hannah) I still make time for my favourite game franchise because I'm in a distance relationship and every week my heart breaks and I cry floods of tears at having to leave my sweet girl to come home for work the next morning. Uncharted’s 3rd outing keeps me grounded, keeps me confident. I swear; Nathan Drake was my role model in young adulthood! Despite the feelings of loneliness I work, I play, I see Hannah, I play, I work, and so on. It doesn't seem as bad when I have something to distract me and that something was Uncharted. The fear that Sully was going to die in this game was very real and in points I was almost in tears. That “more or less” trustworthy old git we’d all come to love, he just couldn't die!

Jump on to 2016 and again different time, different place. Still with Hannah and now engaged, we’re saving up to buy a house. The friend’s dynamic has changed massively. I still see Stuart and Alan but now a blast from the past, Laura, came back into my life. We used to tear into each other in high school (mostly jokingly of course haha) but I always cared about her and when we reconnected we hit it off straight away like no time had passed! now she was getting married (still the best wedding I've been to!) me too - eventually - and we were and still are the best of confidantes to this day. I consider her one of my best friends in the whole world. Unfortunately in 2015 the darkness inside returned with the death of that friend i had gotten back in touch with back in 2009, Steven Borman. The thing is - we had chatted online a lot but in the 6 years we’d been back in touch we never got around to meeting up! Not once. In six years. Either he was working or I was, or I was at Hannah’s or he was at his girl’s...there was always something preventing us from meeting in person and then he died. I didn’t take it well...I have no shame in admitting that I went to a dark place; the darkest place if you catch my drift. It was so hard to process and deal with that there were a few days I didn’t go to work for fear of just exploding and taking my grief out on a member of the public. One of those days I wandered a graveyard and cried (how emo of me, right? haha)

I wouldn't say it passed. It still hurts to think about his loss and all the things that he won’t get to do but it dulled slightly over time. Thankfully a year later and Uncharted 4 was with us. It carried this theme of being bitter-sweet the whole way through (kind of like the end of Toy Story 3 if you know what I mean) and playing out that last, and somewhat more mature, outing though with its themes of love, loss, family and sacrifice, it really helped me find some perspective. I think it’s rare for a video game to do that, even in this day and age with such stories as Last of Us and Red Dead Redemption 2...

  Had to throw in a GiF of Cassie (How adorbs is she) but I digress.

Sounds kind of weird to say that Uncharted, what some people see as just another duck and cover, 3rd person shooter, action/adventure game series, I see as my rock and something that has got me through many, many hard times! I can honestly say I think it will stay with me forever. It’s already encouraged and brought out in me the love of world travel and boosted my confidence in so many ways, I don’t even know what else to say other than this - as my sort of closing statement - 

if you get pleasure from something, no matter the source, never be ashamed of it, never feel like you have to hide it. If something helps you then keep it close to your heart. For me, that is Uncharted. It has helped me through feelings of loneliness, isolation, depression and anxiety, through personal loss and the darkest of feelings, and though everything else in between.

Nathan Drake and his one liners, Sully’s sombre tones, Elena’s adorableness, Chloe’s...derrière (not even sorry...lol) and even Sam’s cynicism (Nate’s older brother, introduced in the last game) it’s kind of like having/being in a circle of friends that you always knew you could count on if that makes sense

Uncharted was always there for me and I hope someday, when I have kids, I can introduce them to the adventures of Drake and co. too.

Sic Parvis Magna, everybody! Sic Parvis Magna

(Greatness from small beginnings)

#uncharted: drake's fortune #uncharted 2: among thieves #uncharted 3: drake's deception #uncharted 4: a thief's end #uncharted: the lost legacy #uncharted #naughty dog #ps4 #franchise #nathan drake #elena fisher #victor sullivan #sam drake #nadine ross #chloe frazer #charlie cutter #personal #story #growth #depression #anxiety #gamer #gamer life #hard times #game #therapy #games help #playstation #personal growth #relatable

[summertime-children]

WIP Challenge

Tagged by @kikithedeceiver​ (thanks~)

Tagging: @starspatter​, @cookiehoodie​ and Meli if she ever sees this bc I want a snippet of all her unwritten knkd fics (?) (and if any writer out there needs a nudge to share their WIPs, feel tagged!)

Challenge: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

I’ll do what what Kiki did and post titles of my WIPs with comments and short fragments of them? I’ll share here only my kagepro WIPs (so basically kidokano/Kano ones lol). A little warning before we start: it’s going to be very long lol bc I can’t finish fics to save a live and I have... lots of ideas, plus I never get to talk about them >.> Also they’re going to be getting gradually worse bc I’ll go from newest to ancient-est. (Full disclosure tho, those aren’t raw quotes from my WIPs bc some had so visible grammar errors, I just had to fix them + I always put notes in my works, like every second word lol) Here we go.

Listen

Comment: This is the freshiest one, I was writing bits of it merely the day before, and because of that I still naively believe I will finish and post it soon, so I won’t say anything more about it.

”I want you to understand. You… need to know there’s so much to love about you!”

“Haha like what?” he laughed with bitter sounding laugh, something that must had slipped as it was followed by a face she had occasion to see only a few times- a face of regret. Regret of choosing wrong words, wrong mask to put on or forgetting to put her at all.

Different ways to say it

Comment: Just a short fluff where Kano’s snarky bottomness is showing lol

“You should’ve asked ‘Can you kiss me?’ instead.”

Kano is dumbfounded for a few seconds before he snorts.

“Right.” he begins with a playful grin “Let me fix that. Can you, Kido Tsubomi, the fierce leader of Mekakushi Dan, my girlfriend, my sun, my stars, the love of my life, the love of my thousands other lives, do me an absolute honor and light up my da-“

He didn’t even manage to finish before he felt the pair of soft lips landed on his, catching his words.

New chapter

Comment: Won’t say much about it because it’s supposed to be a gift for certain someone~ But here’s a little sneak peek 👀

That was weird. They never really talked about having any pets. They talked about having kids (as much as stating that they want to make a family together during several separate occasions counts), but the topic of having pets was never brought up and in a timespan of living together and even moreso of living alone together, they already had plenty of opportunities to get one. And yet Kano always knew that when Kido pictured their future family together there was also present a small ball of fur waving its tail and he could see it in her eyes at that moment more visibly than ever.

GrimReaper!Kido x Vampire!Kano

Comment: I was very disappointed with the knkd fanwork of that one Halloween art, so I decided to write something that would satisfy me (with no success so far rip).

The black figure that merged with the ubiquitous dark hanged up the big scythe they were holding on the wall, among the collection of similar but different in sizes scythes, proceeded to take off their shoes (but then put them quickly back on, changing their mind as soon as their feet met with the concrete) and pulled off the black hood of their cloak to reveal the long green hair, something that finally stood out in the darkness, before walking deeper into the room.

I can’t wait to fall in love with you

Comment: Inspired by well, that one sentence that is in the title and lowkey (?) by Meli’s lovely fic~ It’s the kind of fic that I myself call “(not) soulmates au”. It revolves around the idea that after so many timelines of falling in love with each other, they’re just bound to fall in love again... Even when they don’t remember their past lives...

“Oh man, I can’t wait to fall in love with you.” Kido turned her gaze towards the blond lying next to her on the couch. Her widened from being taken aback by his statement eyes met his golden, cat-like ones, tinted with the strange warm spark that she could feel she had yearn for a very long time. It lasted only a second though because soon her brows furrowed and her gaze dropped from those well-too-familiar (given the circumstances) eyes to her hands.

Two cats

Comment: Set in the sort of the au where they never died? On one winter day Kano takes stray cat to his house to take care of. It’s solely Kano fic btw.

Forgetting for a moment about his own advice (why he should had kept repeating it in his head) he looked over his shoulder to see if his stalker was still there and in that moment their gazes lock. “Crap.” He couldn’t help but think ‘curiosity killed the cat’ as a pair of similar eyes to his stared back at him.

hbd kido

Comment: Product of my procrastination. (As you may tell, I have a problem with it). One year I was slightly~ more productive and was kinda disappointed that I didn’t manage to write Christmas fic. So then I thought that I could save some time and write this fic where Kido has joint Birthday-NewYear party with Christmas decorations still lying around (including mistletoe *cough cough*) just in time for KidoKano Day killing not two, but even four birds with one stone. It’s sort of high school au btw.

“Hi.” The boy tried again. His face was embellished with wide grin and slightly flashed cheeks and in his hand she noticed a can of beer. Oh no.

“Hi, Kano.” She said with disinclination. It wasn’t like she didn’t like the guy. Even more, in the normal situation, like average day in the school, she would find a conversation with him a nice or refreshing thing. He was one of a few people that actually knew about her existence and despite her previous prejudice he turned out to be a pretty nice guy.

Christmas Event

Comment: I’m not sure what Christmas event that was for lol.

For Kano it was this time of a year when his Mother would stay home the whole day instead of going to work and she would be more kind to him. Though he wouldn’t call it exactly this way (it’s not like he felt she wasn’t kind to him normally after all), but she was definitely more forgiving.

Affectionate meme Requests

Comment: Requested for the writing meme in the year 2016. Keeps it as a reminder of how big loser I am (?) (just what this post manages to do so far lol) The prompt was “love bite” >.>

From her spot she couldn’t see him quite clear, due to the still turned off lights, so it was only up to her imagination to decide whether he recollected his mask or not. Maybe it was the second after all, because excluding two golden eyes that shone at her there were two bright spots that stood out in the dark, both marked on his skin.

M!KidoKano

Comment: It was supposed to be male!Kido x Kano fic and yeah... I’m emberassed about it tbh. Like, by the fact I wanted to write it itself. Idk now I find it rather weird to genderbend only one person from the pairing, especially in the fic and for that reason I won’t share fragment from it. Sadly it’s one of my better written pieces lol and going back to it I see I made male!Kido no differnt from the regular Kido... which makes it a good genderbend I guess, but also completely unnecessary.

Angsty Kano fic

Comment: I have no idea lol There’s almost nothing written there.

Even Greater Fear

Comment: Despite what title may suggest it’s more fluffy than angsty. KanoKido family fluff where Kano gets anxious about how happy he is now and that he might someday lose it too. Featuring my knkd fankids, Naoki and Reika.   

“Mom, dad is sad!” announced Reika with reproach. This she wasn’t expecting.

“What?” Tsubomi asked out of surprise and was followed by a low groan coming from behind the couch that could belong only to her beloved husband.  

“No, I’m not.”  She watched how the expressions of her children slowly changed from the ones of concern to the ones of disappointment and disgust.

“And he’s denying it.”

Inverted

Comment: Silly engagement scenario. If I ever finish that, it'll be my comedic genius’ peak I swear (?)  

He was clearly getting more nervous, the longer the searching wasn’t bringing any results. He let go of Kido’s hand and got his another one to help him search for whatever was supposed to be in that pocket. However, after a while his movements completely stopped and with some kind of dread in the eyes he whispered under his breath, “It’s gone.”

Time

Comment: Angsty setomary fic I wanted to write for SetoMary Spring (anyone remember that?) 

When she moved out to her new family the first thing she noticed was that time has significantly slowed down. Oddly, somehow it did accelerate at the same time. It was hard to explain and she herself couldn’t understand the feeling nor did she give it much consideration, but for the first period of living in that new world, new pace of that very activity- living- has struck her.

One in a million

Comment: An actual soulmates au (with the variation of the red thread concept). It’s way too ambitious for me lol (starting with the fact that it’s supposed to be multi-chapter story). I won’t share a fragment of it bc not much’s written and bc tbh there would be spoilers, in case I ever do post it. I could write about the concept in a seperate post though because I did a lot of world-building for it. (A lot for me, ok?)

Clear and present

Comment: Ghost AU. Baby Kano hides one time in the abandoned, partly burned mantion and that’s where he meets the ghost of (scary) green-haired teenage girl he befriends. Somehow got inspired by that anthology comic? Also I would listen to this song while attempting to write it lol. Not much was written though.

What I didn’t

Comment: This one’s rare. My only attempt at writing harutaka fanfic. (Funnily enough last safe was on kidokano day?... many years ago.)  In the manga Takane was pretty excited to give Haruka a present for his birthday, but he had an attack and was hospitalized so she didn’t and it wasn’t said (?) if she ever gave it to him later. So my idea for this fic was that she didn’t and how she was now trying to give it to him after three years. Took huge inspiration from this song: {x}

She didn’t have to wait long until there were heard slow, but at the same time hurried footsteps behind the door and soon it was followed by the sound of doors being unlocked. The doors before her opened revealing the light-brown-haired boy wearing excited smile and slightly oversized green sweater with embroidered reindeer. And one of these was just the warmest thing in this cold winter world.

Sneeze like a kitten

Comment: Inspired by one line from Gravity Falls lol It was just another thing I wanted to add to list of similarities between Kano and cats and I’m sure it would bring Kido joy too ;3 But as much as I still find this idea cute it is so awkwardly written lol. I kinda appreciate that it’s from Rin’s POV and that I tried using kinda fancier English for that reason (as fancy as I knew back then lol), but I guess first person fics will always sound weird. It’s set in a different route I guess where they sort of met before the orphanage.

Soon I noticed all her glances seemed to be directed at small boy with blond hair sitting alone on the bench, a little away from the playground. At first I was fairly surprised, not understanding why this particular boy had become her spot of interest, but giving more attentive look at the boy made me instantly realize reasons of her intent glances.

Connection

Comment: I have almost nothing written there and I barely remember it, but from what I can see it must be my original idea for the “formal event” prompt from the very first kanokido week. I... think it was sort of an au where they never died and they met at some sort of fancy party held by Kido’s parents where Kano was a waiter.

Oof that’s all (I mean all from the folder on my pc, but I won’t be getting into that). For a fair portion of it, I gotta objectively say there’s absolutely zero chance of me ever finishing them, but then (aside from the freshest ones that I still have on my mind) revisiting all those WIPs made me really want to revive some of them owo (some I would have to completely re-write tho OTL)

#my writing #writing meme #kidokano #kanokido #absolutely none of those are kanokido but wtv (?) #not sure if i should tag it with anything more #it's too long no one is gonna read it anyway lol #kikithedeceiver #starspatter #cookiehoodie #shuuyakido

[garyfuckingking]

My 10 pages long essay and Powerpoint on The World’s End and Gary King

(aka why The World’s End and Gary King are two of the most precious things that exist, aka why I love The World’s End and Gary King)

(Based on my own original idea and written after I read this post - @ineverhadadoubt thanks again for sending it to me-

Also please check out this amazing post about the pubs in the movie.)

(I thought I’d tag some people that seemed to agree with my original post and might be interested in reading this. It’s fine if you don’t btw: @smashing-anarchist-poet @jessefandomunited @shakespeareanmemes @jesusinanalcove @aknownlegend @snovyda @smuggsy @immortal-gamora @doodlerdoodle @zane-garrett @lady-dragonfruit @nogoatshere  @hum4n3rror @theforceawakcns @duskteeth - wasn’t gonna tag everyone, some I couldn’t even tag so that’ll do-)

Before I begin, I’d like for you to be aware of a few things. 

First off, this is gonna be a very very veeeeeery long post so bare with me if you can. I’m probably gonna keep apologizing for the lenght of it in between two things I’m talking about but I’m passionate, sorry.

It’s also a very big post because there’s pictures and a lot of gifs tbh. 

Like... i think like, don’t even try to read this on your phone? Idk what it will do to it. tumblr mobile ain’t that strong i think

There’s so much to be said about this movie.

TW: There’s going to be mentions of suicide, depression, addiction, ...

Also, I’m probably going to forget a lot of the points I’d like to illustrate and talk about, that’s one of the downsides of running on a three hours of sleep schedule. 

You can check the tags for some trivia on this whole post.

So if anyone wants to add something, feel free. I’d love for people to give me their opinion on the movie, etc. 

I’m also probably not gonna mention the direction of the movie too much. I love Edgar Wright with all my stone-cold heart but if I have to talk about how much of a fucking genius he is when it comes to comedy and his movies, we’re literally gonna be there all week, plus I’m not actually planning on writing a 10 pages long essay -or am I?-.

If you haven’t seen the movie, SPOILER ALERT. Seriously though. There’s some stuff in the movie you probably don’t want to know by reading this if you’re planning on watching it and I’m going to talk about everything so.

Finally, I’m going to talk about why I think the movie is not as popular as Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, and the rest will mostly be about Gary King and why he’s a great character but also why he’s an important one.

Well. Let’s go. This is gonna be a wild ride.

In this essay, I will...

Ok, in all seriousness.

So I guess there’s supposed to be an introduction here. This is very unprofessionnal, and I’ve learned how to write essays so shame on me. Oh, well. We’re here to talk about Gary Fucking King. It’s ok if it’s a mess, the guy’s a living mess on his own. So, when Simon Pegg comes to mind, the Cornetto Trilogy usually does as well. At least, the first movie that you probably think of is Shaun of the Dead. And often, Hot Fuzz is mentionned as well. But I never ever hear anything about the World’s End. God, even Stephen Colbert got the name wrong while talking to Simon, calling it “The End of the World”. Granted the movie wasn’t the subject, but... Why did it happen? Why is The World’s End seen as “the weakest one”, as “not as good as the first two”, is the one people don’t remember, and is assimilited to other weird claims of the sort? 

I personally feel like it’s because it’s more layered than the other two movies, actually, it’s a bit more complicated. I’m not saying here “if you didn’t get it you’re dumb” or “only smart people will get the message”. Not at all. I had to watch it a couple of times before I started to get a lot of things about Gary and the movie in general, and even today, when I watch it, I notice new things and tiny details that I never realized were there before. That happens with the whole trilogy because the three movies are amazingly well done, but I feel like it’s harder to grasp with The World’s End. But why? 

I think it’s because we directly know what Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz are about. The three movies are about more than an apocalyptic scenario or living surrounded by a cult made of murderers. There’s always a message behind the main themes. 

With Shaun of the Dead, it’s kind of a given, really. The little introduction of the environment shows you that it looks like the town is filled with z****es before they even actually arrive and just with that, the scene is set, we know what -behind the parody and other elements of the film- Simon and Edgar decided to criticize about society (it becomes deeper with Shaun’s character but I’ll get to that later, same with Angel).

In Hot Fuzz, the critic of society is a bit more subtle, but still there for people to see. That’s the point right? Send a message without making you feel like you’re “being thaught a lesson”, or something like that, and these movies do it brilliantly. Because that’s the thing. People watching the Cornetto Trilogy sit down in front of their screen to have a good time, have a laugh and go one with their day. But The World’s End is different. It’s still extremely funny, but it doesn’t give off the same vibe as SotD and HF. You feel like there’s something more, you feel that it’s actually a tragic movie. 

Yes, it still has the same kind of message, here with how much of a fuck up a human being can be, how humans are stubborn even if they make mistakes, but that it’s part of life and a word with “perfect beings” wouldn’t necessarily be better. It’s about growing up and accepting that you have to leave your childhood or teenage years at some point, and all that stuff surrounding these themes. You think it was the better part of your life, but often... it isn’t (again, I’ll come back to this later). It’s just harder to grasp because of the tone and maybe because people don’t like to hear this kind of things.

So the problem is, people often miss (or dismiss) the point. 

I don’t think you know about this but there’s this French website called Betaseries. 

On it, you can have an account and have a list with the tv shows you’re currently watching or the films you’ve watched or want to watch.

You can download subtitles for the new episodes you wanna watch if you need them, you can rate movies, comment to give your opinion, you can tick which episodes you’ve seen so that you can keep track of what you’re watching and not forget where you’re at, etc. Pretty useful website, I’m always on it.

So, I obviously went to see what people thought of The World’s End. It’s got a good enough rating, really, 3.62 out of 5 stars. It’s not a four or a five but only because of two users who didn’t like it all that much. So I read their reviews. One was a 2/5 and one was a 3/5: 

“To summarize the movie: the world is invaded by a pacifist extra-terrestrial entity that kills human to exchange them with clones but that accept to leave the planet if you ask (with insults, please!) ???

To use one of the movie’s favorite expression: WTF?????!!!!!

I liked the story of “Shaun of the Dead” better ^^”

“Having liked "Shaun of the Dead” and “Hot Fuzz”, I was impatient to see Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg’s new movie, unfortunately, it isn’t as “good” as the last two. Technically perfect, the story drags on and the mid-life crisis Simon Pegg’s character goes through becomes tedious after some time… but not everything’s good for the trash! The English humor is really present, the play-on-words, the references… you don’t mind watching it. I feel like you need to watch it a second time to appreciate its real worth.

Naturally, watching it in VO is absolutely necessary.”

The other people that commented had all 4 or 5 stars and were only saying that the movie was very funny, therefore enjoyable and good.

I think that’s the thing. When you think “Cornetto Trilogy”, you think “having a good time”. You watch it, you can see that there’s a message behind it, but you don’t spend your time focusing on it or looking for it, because it’s usually pretty simple to get. You pay more attention to the comedy, the references, etc.  

And that is where The World’s End becomes different. It’s not focused on the comedy or the references (well, yes it is and it’s still incredibly funny, it was meant to be), but you have to focus on what is actually going on with Gary King to get it all. That’s why the big meanie leaves “just because they asked”. Remember what it says before leaving (and destroying the world btw)?

That’s something that’s been said to Gary a few times throughout the movie, but here, it’s clearly aimed at the three of them, hence at the humans, because they’re speaking for their entire race. That’s why it leaves. Because the message is “it’s pointless arguing with humans, they’re going to do whatever they want anyway, you can’t change their mind, etc., they have to learn thanks to their own mistakes so you have to let them make them, not force them to be perfect.” This kind of things. 

But when you read the reviews above... These are the only two reviews where you can see that they really tried to get what was going on, but maybe missed it, and because of that, they didn’t like the movie all that much and rated it badly. Gary King isn’t just going through “a mid-life crisis”. He really isn’t. There is so much more to him that it drives me actually crazy that this movie isn’t as praised as the rest of the trilogy. Literally nuts.

With that being said, I think it’s time to really get into who Gary King is, why he is such an amazing character and why there’s more to him than a “mid-life crisis”. So I’m going to talk about him (obviously), about his effect on others, about his relationship with his friends, his addiction, etc., and why it just makes the plot so much better. I hope you’re still with me. And that it’s been understandable up to this point because I really can’t express my ideas the way I want to easily, sorry about that.

The Cornetto trilogy doesn’t just have these hidden messages, morals, … A common thing between these movies is that the characters played by Simon Pegg are all flawed. They’re just flawed human beings. And these characters have to work on themselves to become better. The plot is usually what makes them realize things and help them grow to become their best self.

In Shaun of the Dead, Shaun is going nowhere with his life, he’s stuck in a routine with a dead-end job and a relationship he’s screwing up because Liz is the only one working on it. It’s not that he hates his life, but he doesn’t do anything to make it better either, he doesn’t really see the point. . He’s just there so he does what he’s got to do, but he doesn’t get out of his way to do more. And like Pete says, Shaun needs to sort his life out and do something. Here, killing z****e is apparently the way to a healthy and more positive life. (and no, I will not say the z-word and you shouldn’t either)

In Hot Fuzz, Nicholas Angel puts his work before anything else. That’s why his very serious relationship ended, it even caused him to be disliked by his colleagues and superiors. Like Janine says, he won’t ever be able to turn off if he doesn’t find someone he cares about more than his job. And throughout the movie, you see how Nicholas becomes, but also how other characters become thanks to him. I could talk about this masterpiece, about the foreshadowing in it and especially about Danny Butterman for hours on end but I’m not here for that today.

Also, Shaun had Pete to tell him what was wrong with him. Nicholas had Janine to tell him what was wrong with him. Who does that for Gary King? Because again, Gary is a very flawed character who needs to change as well. But first, we have to ask ourselves one question:

Who is Gary King?

Let’s get some answers.

Well, I’d give you a lot of answers if I had them but… we don’t really know much about Gary King, do we? Well, what we know about his past is what he told the people in the rehabilitation session. That he was The King. But it’s only later on in the movie that we’re able to get new details about him that help us get a clearer idea of who he is. 

The King, the leader of their little group, the popular kid, is also selfish and self-centered. He’s injured his friends with his reckless behavior, he injured himself, he was already a heavy drinker and was using drugs. We don’t know much about his real past, about his family, or else. We know he hasn’t spoken to his mother in eight months when the movie takes place. He arrived in a psychiatric hospital after a suicide attempt but hasn’t told anyone, clearly. His mother doesn’t even know. He doesn’t like the way the hospital was “helping” him and after a quick decision, he got out of it to regroup his old friends and make an attempt at the Golden Mile again. 

We know he isn’t happy. He’s bitter and sad, clinging onto a past he thinks better than anything else he could ever have. Addicted for most of his life and depressed to the point where he tried to kill himself. In the movie, he clearly just tries to reassure himself about his life, always lying to himself and to others.

Whenever reality catches up to him, he shies away from it, he’s not even able to look at Andy anymore. And the problem is, his friends are the reality and he’s the lie. He’s convinced himself of things so much that he believes in them and he can’t hear another version of the events that have happened, he needs to keep his embellished memories intact because he’d rather believe in a lie than in what he is.

He desperately needs the attention, because he’s so alone. He needs to live in his lie, to relive that great night, that moment when he could seduce Oliver’s sister, when his friends would have followed him to the end of the world, to finally prove himself right. And like Andy says, he’s never wrong, is he? He’d rather lie about his mother dying than face rejection and where he’s at. He’d rather have people stay with him because they pity him than because they want to be with him.

He lies about it as a last attempt to convince Andy to come along to Newton Haven, after also giving him money he had been owning him. (I’ll talk about the rest of this scene later on, it’s a very important thing to mention.)

And then, when reality is thrown at his face by Andy again, he miserably tries to get his sympathy once more, despite Andy not having it:

Just after that scene and right before they find out the truth about his mother, Peter says “I can’t help but feel sorry for him”, what Gary intended to do. He manipulates and is upset that things don’t go his way, no matter for what reason he is actually manipulating them. He wouldn’t admit it’s because he’s lonely and unhappy and that because he needs them to feel better, he’s fine with hurting their feelings again.

When he leaves the table to go to the restroom, he looks at himself and finally lets some real emotion out, only to realize what he’s doing.

He’s not proud of it. His friends have changed, yes, but he hasn’t. He’s still the same impulsive and selfish young man he used to be, but now he realizes that’s not how life works. Life doesn’t just go his way like it used to, or like he thought it used to. Life happens to you, you're not in control, and he probably realized that months ago, as he tried to end it.

Still, when the teenager arrives in the restroom, he puts his walls back up again directly, tries to show off and to befriend the young man by impressing him. He sees himself in him, a young and free man who just enjoys his time with his friends. 

That’s why he was looking at them this way earlier in the pub:

Or when both groups crossed path outside in the afternoon. Yet, when the boy doesn’t respond and ignores him, he gets upset again and is ready to provoke a teenage boy for not paying attention to a drunk guy inviting him to drink with him and his friends. 

Yes, the alcohol and the built-up frustration of the evening made him provoke that boy, but it doesn’t mean he’s not aware of the gravity of his actions every time he does something. He’s clearly aware that he manipulates his friends, that he only thinks about himself. It’s always in very short moments that you see him look away or having a hard time processing everything, because he knows the way he acts and as much as he hates himself for it, he can’t help it. To the point where he uses the terrible situation of Newton Haven, no matter if they might die, to finish the pub crawl. Why? He doesn’t care if he dies. At all. It’d probably be easier for him. 

He can’t stand himself, but he can’t be someone else. He got upset at the boy’s silence, taking it as an insult, a way of being disrespectful towards him and in his head, no one should disrespect Gary King. There was a time when he loved being himself but like Sam rightfully says:

So with that in mind, what is Gary King? 

That, I believe, is one of the most exciting part of the character. He’s as much the villain as he is the hero of the movie. 

He’s a villain in his behavior, always has been. He liked being a “bad boy”, but he really did hurt his own friends and has been selfish for a long time. A lot of things that he did and still does make him a villain in this story. Yet, he doesn’t flinch in front of danger, he throws himself in battles the way he used to when Peter would get bullied. He fights for his life and stands his ground in front of the “big boss”, speaking on behalf of the entire human race so that the enemy would leave them be. He’s obnoxious, but he’s also very lovable. Again, like Sam said:

He wouldn’t be able to make someone else happy, or maybe for a while, but he probably wouldn’t be able to resist getting back to his old antics. He’s not meant to live a quiet life with a family, he needs his freedom, as he calls it, but deep down, he’s never actually been a Bad Person™ . He does care about his friends, in his own fucked up way, but he’s too damaged to do any good around him, it doesn’t matter if he’d like to or not.

That’s why he leaves again in the end. He can’t stay there and face everything that has happened. He saw his chance to start all over again and let his remaining friends be happy together, without getting in the way. He did the right thing by getting sober, but he regained his freedom, is still a rebel by staying with a bunch of blanks and not humans, and he’s with the version of his friends he’s always wanted to be with again. Maybe it’s a bit unhealthy for him to stay with these specific blanks, but it’s a better coping mechanism than alcohol and drugs. He’s his true self, but he’s sober and definitely feels better, like he belongs there.

Now, the time has come. Let’s really introduce his friends, talk about his relationship with them before talking about how he takes responsibility for his actions and how he deals with change. (yes I’m sorry this is endless)

All his friends have little stories to tell about his behavior during the movie. He injured all of them as well as he injured himself, and even if Oliver is the only one who didn’t receive a scar, he got his own birthmark removed because of the nickname they would always use. Gary was the only one using it still during the movie, despite being told off.

I’ll introduce them using Gary’s words in the beginning of the movie. It allows us to see the way he perceives them. Keep in mind that it’s the only way he could ever see them at that point, as he doesn’t know what they became and who they really are at that point in their lives. What we, as viewers, know, is that they seem to have all become pretty successful when it comes to their careers, and they just seem to have a good life in general, compared to Gary who is in that hospital and dealing with his addictions.

So, we’ve got Oliver Chamberlain. Gary introduces him by saying: “Ollie was funny, he fancied himself as a bit of a player, but really, he was all mouth. We called him O-man because he had a birthmark on his forehead that looked like a six. He loved it.”

He certainly did not love it. Like I said, he got the birthmark removed because it annoyed him so much to be called O-man. We don’t know much about Oliver, really. He manages a boutique estate agency in North London, he’s doing good, he’s always working. His sister is Sam Chamberlain, Steve has had a crush on her since high school and Gary had sex with her in the disabled. He’s in a sort of competition with Steve to win her over. We know Oliver was already acting like a business man in school. During their first attempt at the Golden Mile, he was out of commission after the 6th pub.

He’s also often mentioning Gary’s drug abuse throughout the movie. 

He was clearly uninterested in going back to Newton Haven, he was very reluctant at the idea, but Gary succeeded in tricking him to go back. During the movie, Gary says a couple of times that Oliver is doing really good, as he didn’t go that far in the crawl the first time. He obviously doesn’t know he has been replaced by a blank in the middle of the crawl but he does say that he likes the new Oliver, the one that seems to be fine with following him around, who is able to go on with the crawl and encourages the others to join the party.

Now, Peter Page. Gary says: “Pete was the baby of the group. He wasn’t the kind of kid we’d usually hang out with, but he was good for a laugh. And he was absolutely minted.”

The cool guy hanging out with the most bullied kid in school? He indicates there that his wealth was one of the reasons he was friend with Peter, despite saying that “he was good for a laugh.” You can see that they get along pretty well during the movie, once Peter is relaxed with the alcohol. They joke around and laugh together quite easily. During the first attempt at the Golden Mile, after smoking marijuana in The Smokehouse, he was left on a park bench while Gary, Steve and Andy kept on going. He still works with his father and became his business partner. He’s the one who sold The Beast to Gary back in the day.

The scar Gary gave him was when Peter let him drive his 50cc Suzuki. Gary rolled over his leg.

He clearly was looking up to Gary at the time, probably because he was defending him whenever he’d get bullied.

There are a few moments where you can also see how submissive Peter still is, traumatized by the extreme bullying he went through in high school. He hates confrontation. He hides behind his newspaper when his kids are “fighting” at the table. It’s impossible for him to say anything when he meets his bully in one of the pubs and whenever a fight explodes, he’s the first one to try and hide, not fight.

He was killed and replaced after finally standing up against the blank that replaced his bully.

Steven Prince. Gary doesn’t have much to say about him: “Steve was a pretty cool guy. We jammed together, chased the girls. I think he saw us as rivals. Sweet, really.”

Like Oliver, we don’t have many information about his life. He had his own construction company, and he was bought out in ’05. At the beginning of the movie, he’s going out with a 26-year-old fitness instructor but the person he truly loves is Oliver’s sister, Sam. Gary and Steve got along just fine, but with what Gary says, you can see he thought he was better than Steve in different ways (shocking, I know). Gary and he used to play music together but stopped when Gary sold Steve’s bass to buy drugs.

In 1987, so when they were around fourteen, while they were playing cricket, Gary accidentally pushed Steven onto a broken bottle and Steve was left with a scar… well, on his ass. Now, we don’t know the origin of the bottle, but you certainly don’t need it to play cricket, from what I know? We also don’t know what they were drinking, so maybe I’m reaching by saying it could have already been Gary’s if he was already drinking alcohol, but we wouldn’t know so again, I might just be reaching! not confirming anything. Still, Gary injured him as well.

He wasn’t really happy when he saw Gary again for the first time, but still ends up going back. During the first Golden Mile, Steve was still there at the end. Even if they didn’t finish it, he was with Andy and Gary on the hills at sunset. 

Now, Andy is the most important one, obviously. It wasn’t a surprise. Simon and Nick always play the two main characters and they always have a very strong bond. And Gary’s relationship with Andy is quite fascinating to say the least. For someone with as much pride as Gary King, talking about the way he feels is not all that easy. At least not without disguising it a little. Before we get into that part, here’s Andy’s introduction. This time, I’ll just explain who he is, and then show Gary’s words because I’ll talk about them more.  

So, from what we know, Andy used to play rugby when he was younger. When the film takes place, he’s a corporate lawyer, he’s married and has kids. He seems to be doing quite well, even though we learn he and his wife are separated at the moment and that he's trying to get her back.

During the first pub crawl, he made it to the end of the night with Gary and Steve, ending up on the hills at sunset and failing the Golden Mile. Back in ’86, Gary injured him as well when they reenacted the knife game from Alien. Gary accidentally stabbed him in the middle finger.

We know that he remained friends with Gary until December 1997. Gary overdosed and Andy, while being extremely drunk, attempted to drive him to the hospital. He crashed his car and he had to go through a life-saving surgery that lasted for 12 hours before getting arrested. At that point, Gary who had made a “miraculous fucking recovery”, as Andy puts it, had abandoned him on the scene of the crash. After these events, Andy stopped talking to Gary and also stopped drinking.

It seems that “the accident”, as it’s referred as in the movie, drove them amm apart. We at least know they were still talking to each other in ’92, two years after they left school, because that’s when they decided to stop calling him “Fearless Leader”.

So they probably kept hanging out until the accident. Gary was certainly the glue sticking the group together but finally took it too far.

Now, when talking about Andy, Gary says this: 

“And Andy. Andy was my wingman. The one guy I could rely on to back me up. He loved me, and I’m not being funny, but I loved him.”

Why would he be funny by saying that? Because admitting he loves his friend makes him less of a badass? No, he really liked his friends. But he loved Andy so much.

And I’m not talking as a shipper or anything. I’m really not. Actually, I’ve never shipped Gary with anyone if I have to be honest. Like Sam says, he’s not boyfriend material. I’m talking about platonic friendship. A very strong friendship that still existed despite “the accident”. That’s why Andrew keeps following Gary until they arrived at The World’s End, because he still cares, and he can’t watch him destroying himself like that. That’s why they all went back. Because in a way, they cared. They kept complaining but seeing everyone wasn’t that bad. They did laugh together, even with Gary, despite being pissed at him. They also weren’t expecting much of him, they know him:

But Gary’s relationship with Andy is special.

Andy is kind of the one who made everyone come back. They clearly didn’t go back for Gary. They went because of Gary, but each of them has asked if Andy would be there first. Probably because Andy’s presence would mean that if he could get past Gary’s mistakes, then maybe they could and should give it a try. And Andy went back with the hope that maybe Gary has changed, even just a little bit. When they are sitting outside while Gary’s playing Need for Speed (for someone who hasn’t seen it, this might sound like a weird as fuck movie), he says this:

Well, of course, he then learned he got money from the other three and gets mad, but you know. He did hope for a split second that he wasn’t exactly the same and that maybe, it was really because of what he told him in his office that Gary wanted to do that again. That’s also why he cuts him some slack at the beginning)

Speaking of the dialogue in his office! Remember I said I would come back to that scene at some point? Well, here we are. Yes, you might have forgotten because this post is very long and I ramble but if you’re still with me, well… it’s not almost the end but we’re getting there.  Anyway! So, Gary lies about his mom dying and that’s the following conversation:

Again, maybe I’m reaching, but he seems so honest that I wouldn’t be surprised if he was actually using his mom’s death as a metaphor for his own suicide attempt. It got him thinking about the old days. He never really stopped thinking about them. He still has The Beast, he still has the tape Steve made him and that he was still always listening to, but these last months were probably extremely rough for him and got him really thinking about all of this in a more depressing way than he ever did. His life had been going downhill since he got out of school, but he finally hit rock bottom really hard.

He says his mother has always really liked Andy, but he might as well be speaking about his own feelings. He even says that he likes the guys, but that Andy was the best friend he’s ever had (and probably the only one he ever felt this way for.)

He has a weird behavior around Andy. He’s always acting so confident, but throughout the movie, he keeps seeking some kind of reassurance from Andy. Either because he wants his approval but also because he wants to prove himself right, or because he wants to believe everything is fine between them.

He has a really hard time expressing his true feelings, probably because he’s used to hiding them all the time. Every time he does express them, we can see how miserable he is and why Simon calls him “a walking tragedy”.

This leads me to the three most powerful dialogues in this movie, I think. I mean, in my opinion, they are the most telling about Gary’s truth, even though the movie is sprinkled with hints on what’s going on, like with this very obvious line:

We clearly know that it was something that was told directly to him, we know where, despite him acting like it’s just some trivia.

So the first dialogue I have in mind is the one with Sam. Sorry, loads of gifs are coming your way:

I feel like for the first time in the movie, he’s kinf of done with his own behavior and he’s ready to have a serious talk and admit some important things. Like when he says Steve is better than him, because he knows he’s a fuck up but now he’s ready to admit it. And in a few lines, you see something else. No, it’s not all about that night, it never was. Life doesn’t have purpose for only one night in your life. Yes, maybe it was the happiest night that there ever was, if it even was, but it doesn’t mean shit, really. But Gary holds on to it like his life was depending on it. Well, in this scenario, it kind of is. Sam tells him that it doesn’t have to be all about that night, kind of letting him know he has the choice to leave it behind and finally move on. And she can see that he gets it. But then, if Gary can’t hold onto that night, he at least wants to keep some things from it, hence his questions about the disableds. Sam agrees, giving him at least that because either way, he’s losing against his own life. If at least he’s trying, she can let him hold onto that memory.

It makes me think of the moment Gary tells Andy that the Golden Mile is all he’s got. There could be so much more, but Gary feels like he’s got nothing else, unlike his friends who have “everything”, like he says. That’s wy he fights for it, because it’s what’s important to him, like Andy is fighting for his marriage.

The second dialogue would be this one: 

No, it wasn’t his fault that Andy crashed the car. He didn’t overdose on purpose, and Andy chose to drive him to the hospital while drunk and driving four times over the limit. But he did choose to flee the scene and leave Andy to die. And Andy wouldn’t be so angry and resentful if it hadn’t hurt him so much. It hurt him because he loved Gary. 

Remember, when introducing Andy, Gary himself says that Andy was the one guy he could rely on. You’d think it would be the same for Andy, but Gary betrayed him.

Before the third dialogue, I want to elaborate on this, on Gary taking responsibility, kind of? He doesn’t talk about his mistakes.

Every time someone points out one of his past mistake or how his behavior is inappropriate, he changes the subject or tries to get his way.

He doesn’t want to face the things he’s done because he knows he can only blame himself for these situations and he already hates himself enough, he doesn’t need to be reminded of these things again and again.

And it’s also because he wouldn’t like to see his friends discover the way he really feels. Whenever his suicide attempt could get discovered or whenever he thinks about it, he quickly tries to hide the truth.

At first, I’m pretty sure he thought that Andy knew about his attempt, because he’s so surprised when he asks to see his arm. Then, when Andy tells him what injury he wants to see, he’s in full defensive mode and changes the subject again, trying to prove he’s him thanks to his memory, and not a scar.

Andy was ready to bash his head right in if for one second he believed he was a blank, but even then, Gary won’t show his arm, because he can’t let them know he hit rock bottom.

It’s the same with Sam:

The same old gary. Gary doesn’t like change. He hates it. He hates to see that his friends have changed and he knows that in a way, he changed as well, no matter how hard he tries to remain the same old Gary, the one that was happy.

When he learns that there are robots and that it’s not them that have changed but the town, he’s ecstatic.

And finally, the third dialogue I was talking about:

Getting help put Gary in emotional pain, even worse than what he already had before, because of the way he was treated. He hated it, he felt so miserable. Feeling like he’s living a lie, like nothing is what it’s supposed to be, feeling like he has absolutely no control. He doesn’t, not on life, but he could decide to do better. He just doesn’t have the courage.

Andy was already caring, way before that. And he’s always known Gary needed help. At that moment:

Andy wants to finally put the limit. It’s true, it’s the last one. Then, Gary will have completed the Golden Mile. Then, what? That’s not the point but what would Gary have done after that? He would have no purpose and like he says, the Golden Mile is all he’s got. Still, Andy doesn’t let him have one more drink.

Back in the tenth pub, he seemed to happy that Gary was accepting to let it go, to have one last drink and put an end to the crawl. He was still hoping for change.

I feel like this scene just shows how hard it is to overcome addictions just by yourself. He tried, when he got in the hospital, and he ended up leaving. He was really drinking his last beer, at that moment, but he couldn’t resist, once again, and had to have the other two. He really wanted to try, but the temptation was so strong.

Andy follows him because like his marriage, Gary is important, and he fights for what’s important to him.

Maybe Andy was able to make it on his own after the accident, but Gary isn’t Andy. He knows that Gary can’t make it on his own. He was never able to. It doesn’t mean he isn’t strong. Andy knows how strong Gary is, living through his addictions for so long, seeing that he tried to kill himself. He knows he’s strong, but it doesn’t mean he can’t have some help from people who really care about him. Now, he knows that can’t happen unless you force him to. So if he has to actually physically fight Gary to stop him, he will, because he knows his friend wouldn’t be able to stop unless being actually knocked the fuck out. He could let him have the last pint of the Golden Mile, but it would mean he allows him to do what he wants one more time. He puts a stop to it because the Golden Mile doesn’t matter, Gary matters. If he has to shatter his last chance of completing the crawl, even if he’s so close he can almost feel the beer on his tongue, he will if that’s what it takes to make him come to his senses.

Besides, he knows that Gary regrets what he’s done, both in the past and that day. He doesn’t constantly mean to hurt his friends. He does it because he can’t help it, but like Sam says, he’s not a bad person.

By the way, I often wonder what would have happened if they had forced him to show his arm when checking everyone’s scars. If Andy, Peter and Steve had discovered about his suicide attempt at that point.

Would they have understood that Gary was on a suicide mission, at that moment?

And that it was only making it all the more exciting for him?

This is Gary King, everyone. 

Also, funnily and terribly enough, he relieved the night the same way he first lived it back in 1990. Some gifs and images as evidence:

Which begs the question; was the first night even that great to begin with?

I think I covered everything I had in mind (not bloody quite but well). I don’t even know. It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this but I’m glad it did, I got to ramble about my favorite trilogy for hours on end so. And also... I’m pretty sure I was trying to prove something with all this but my point is: I’m in love with Simon Pegg. 

No, ok. Again. Seriously. 

The World’s End is such an underrated movie. And Gary King is such an important character. The movie depicts human nature in the realest way, with all its flaws. And Gary King is depicting mental illness, was written by someone who went through this kind of things. The movie is very personal for both Simon and Edgar, actually. I don’t know much about Edgar, to be perfectly honest. I love his movies, he’s an genius, but I don’t know much about his personal life. I just do know this movie is important for him too. I do know that Simon has dealt with alcoholism, if I’m not mistaken he’s been sober since 2010, he knows what it’s like to battle addiction and depression.

The movie doesn’t romanticize these problems one bit. It shows how bad it can be, and how it can be perceived as by people not knowing much about these things. Remember that comment talking about the fact that the “mid-life crisis” Gary’s going through gets annoying after a while? Welp.

Could you imagine actually living in Gary King’s head for more than an hour. Unbearable. Especially since he’s aware of some of the fucked up things he’s doing and must hate himself for it. 

Yes, there’s the humor and the crazy robot stuff going on on the side, but that was my point at the beginning. That’s why the big weird entity that invaded earth isn’t the big villain of the movie.

I always say the same thing about villains. Take Thanos in the MCU for example. He’s the fucking worst and yet, his actions are justified. Careful. Not excusable, justifiable. You understand that there’s a point for him, that he firmly believes in what he’s doing, that he’s sure his actions are what’s supposed to be done to make Earth a better world, that what he does is right. Yet, because we’re rational and fucking decent, we know that’s not the way you solve problems. Here, the enemy believes it needs to replace humanity with perfect beings, to… make Earth perfect, or something. You know that it’s pointless, because like they show, only three humans in Newton Haven were spared. Earth is filled with flawed humans, you’d have to replace everyone to make it better. And yet, these actions are “justified” by a thought process. Doesn’t mean turning humans into compost is excusable. That creature’s definitely a villain, but not the main one in the movie.

The end of the world ain’t even a bad thing in the movie. On the contrary. A lot of people survived and Andy himself says things are simpler. They’re kind of back to the Dark Age and they realized that all their problems seemed very small in comparison to such events, and they’re happier.

Here, Gary is his friends’ enemy, he’s the blank leader’s enemy, and he is his own worst enemy. He hurts absolutely everyone, himself included. Because of his own addictions and depression. That’s what can really happen in real life and that’s something I really like about the movie.

And he ends up alone. He took the decision to leave but you don’t have a dumb female love interest that falls for the bad boy and make the worst decision she could by getting with him at the end so that we’d have a happy end and so would Gary. Sam’s very honest with him, she tells him how things are until he finally understands and agrees with her. He makes the right choice (“for once,” like he says) and makes her save herself and is fine with her ending up with Steve.

He’s always known the truth, but he had to accept it and he does. It’s difficult, but he does.

I don’t think Gary’s end’s a happy one. I have mixed feelings about Gary’s end because I don’t think he’s going to be satisfied on the long term and he does deserve some happiness at that point in his life. He excluded himself from everyone and is still stuck in that circle of not growing up. He’s definitely happier and he’s sober. But what is going to happen? He’s going to grow old and the blanks won’t change and then what? How is he going to feel about that? 

It’s a real ending, not a cheesy one. But at least he always has that option of coming back at some point. He did once. And he would be more welcomed, and he’d act the right way.

Like he told his teacher back in high school, all he ever wanted was to have a good time. With the four blanks, he’s traveling and having his own fun, he does what he wants, he has the freedom he always wanted to have, he kind of found his path. That’s all he ever wanted, he just found a new way to do so. At least, he’s got that, and he knows his friends have what they want as well. Earth is destroyed but Steven is with the love of his life, and Andy got back together with his wife and lives happily. 

Well. I think that’s about all I wanted to say. I hope. That was long enough. I just hope you guys are still reading, and that you “enjoyed” this thing that took me forever to write. I’d love your opinion. I’d love it if it made other people watch the movie or enjoy it more than they did at first. I just love this movie so much. And I just love Gary King so much. 

I rest my case. Lets’ Boo-Boo.

#i started writing this on wednesday but i had so much to do... well ok one activity was rewatching Spaced all over again but still #the world's end #gary king #simon pegg #edgar wright #the cornetto trilogy #shaun of the dead #long post #hot fuzz #nick frost #it's sometimes really hard to explain some stuff when it's not in your first language but i think i did ok #i've been procrasting a lot with this yes i wanted to post it ages ago but at least it's done #i can't even tell you how many times i've watched the movie to do this #actually i could i've been keeping counts of the number of times i've seen the three movies but anyway #when i thought i was done i watched the movie once again and noted everything that came to my mind while watching it #then i checked what i had already talked about and found myself adding a lot of stuff #this was a cool thing to do #i might do more but i'm not sure #i thought i'd actually do a post with the foreshadowing in hot fuzz #like showing what scene or line foreshadow what scene or line or whatever #or all the spaced references in shaun of the dead #stuff like that #so i'm tagging this post as 'my take on' so that if i do more stuff like that i have a tag for it #my take on #also um i love gary king #and this movie #that's about it #i think #oh yeah and making these gifs took me so fucking long i sure as fuck hope you can read them #and i've eaten i don't know how many cornettos while doing this but WHATEVER AM I RIGHT

[arethereanyoriginalusernames]

Zoophobia Rewrite #3

Disclaimer,

This is not a series meant to critique vivziepop herself as, not sure if you noticed, zoophobia is kinda old. I personally believe that if we find flaws in media we enjoy, it can help us find flaws in our own work, and improve. This series is also my sad attempt to entertain people.

Zoophobia belongs to Vivziepop.

I apologize for wasting your time, and I hope you enjoy.

- ATOUN

--------------------------------------------

We start off our arc with Cameron attempting to sneak into school without being noticed. This fails as she runs into Malcolm and Percy. After being subjected to their torturous chatter, Zech comes to the rescue, requesting that Cameron come with him for a little chat.

Once they're alone, Zech makes a proposition to Cam; for the next couple months, he wants her to spend one or more days with each of the teachers. This will help Cam become more familiar (thus more comfortable ) with the staff and students. Cameron hesitantly agrees, telling herself she'll have to get used to this place somehow.

Since she's already met her (and thinks she's a human ), Cameron decides to spend the day with Jackie.

Cut to the drama class. Kayla and Zill have their little song, and during it, we get reactions from Cam and Jackie indicating how good they are. Jackie also brags a bit about her two "star students " to Cameron. Cameron, however, is slightly creeped out by Zill. It bugs her to not be able to identify what he is, and she ends up looking around the room for something else to look at. She decides to get some assignment sheets for Jackie, under the guise of being a helpful little assistant. Jackie agrees, sending Cam to fetch some papers for her next class that are located in the back row of the auditorium.

Cam goes to search for the papers, but bumps into....*gasp* everyone's favorite witch, Sahara. Yes folks, we're giving her some sort of introduction. She is sitting beside the papers cam needs, and cam needs to reach over her to get them. Seeing that Sahara is preoccupied reading a spell book, Cam attempts to reach over her without being noticed. This fails, causing the two to make eye contact, which freaks Cam out. Cam instinctively demands to know what Sahara is. Sahara is annoyed by this and basically says;

"Lady, I'm a fucking human. Calm your god Damn tits. What, you gonna give me shit for being a human? "

Of course, Cam reacts with "Oh thank fuck, another human " and kinda hugs Sahara, causing an awkward moment between the two. Cam composes herself, apologises, and asks about Sahara's book to lighten the mood. Sahara coldly explains that she considers herself a witch. To Sahara's surprise, Cam tells her that she thinks magic is cool, and says she bets that Sahara is really good at it. Sahara does brush this off, saying that she isn't actually that good, but she still appreciates the compliment and is even beaming somewhat.

Cam retreaves the papers for Jackie just as the duet between Zill and Kayla wraps up. The couple stare deeply into each other's eyes, totally not making out mentally. Suddenly, Damian materializes on the piano.

Quick thing here. In the Rewrite, there's a bit of an ongoing gag with Damian where he just kinda materializes out of thin air, and disappears in the same manner. Where'd he come from? Where'd he go? Where'd he come from Cotton eyed joe? Nobody knows. Weather he teleports, stealthily levitates around, or is just that good at sneaking up on people is anyone's guess.

Damian makes his bad attempt at flirting with Kayla. Kayla panics and, like the good Christian girl she is, proceeds to yeet herself away from the sinful demon. Zill snaps at Dame, telling him to fuck off, but Dame decides to be a shit and go "Je ne peux pas parler anglais "( I can't speak English ). Zill goes to punch him, only for Damian to disappear into thin air. Zill sighs in frustration and goes off to find and comfort Kayla.

Backstage, Jack, Spam, and Vanex watch what goes down between nacho cheese grape juice and the sinnimon roll from hell. Spam laughs, thinking that Dame's antics are funny, Vanex doesn't even seem to care, and just comments that the singing was "passable". Jack is face palming, and excuses himself to go apologize for Dames behavior. He is suddenly intercepted by the little devil child himself, who, once again, materializes out of thin air. Jack tries to call Damian out on his shit, but Damian brushes it off with his "Christian girls always give into temptation" speech from the OG. Jack respondes by asking Damian why Kayla would ever go out with a weirdo like him. Jack's back is turned to Dame, so he doesn't notice Damian pause for a moment, clearly displeased at being called weird, but he recovers quickly. He asks Jack if Zill is really a good boyfriend, and brings up Zill's womanizing past. Jack tries to tell Damian that Zill is twice the guy Dame will ever be, only for Damian to go "Btw, how long has it been since something fell on you? " Right on cue, a curtain falls on top of Jack.

Sahara rushes out, apologizing, and saying that her magic melted the curtain rod. Here, we get banter between her and Dame. Unlike Jack, Sahara calls Damian out successfully, which doesn't faze Damian in the least. Their banter ultimately amounts to "LOL, I'm a little shit""Trust me bitch, I know ". Sahara drags Damian offstage while Spam and Vanex help Jack.

Zill and Kayla are cuddling in each other's arms a little off to the side. Kayla apologises and says she'd be able to stand up to Damian, but for some reason, he creeps her out. Part of it may be due to his apparent ability to teleport. Zill reassures her that nothing Damian does will affect their relationship.

Meanwhile, Cameron and Jackie are discussing the upcoming talent show. Jackie invites Cameron to come help, and Cameron accepts, saying humans should stick together. We get the same reveal of Jackie being a bird as in the original because I'm not gonna lie, I love that part. And of course, Carrie is watching from the door. The class ends same way it does in the OG

Instead of Cameron's meeting with Carrie taking place a week later, we're pushing it to right now. As Cameron leaves the class, a wild Carrie appears. Here, we get the same convo between the two of them from the OG, however, the excuse Cameron gives is that she has to clean up her office instead of helping with the talent show. Carrie invites her to her part of the school whenever Cameron wishes to come over. We also meet Fabian in the same way we do in the OG.

Now onto the power couple. We get our conversation between Zill and Kayla where they have this dumb misunderstanding where Zill thinks Kayla is taking about the talent show when she's really talking about their anniversary. We all know how this song and dance go, so skip to Kayla's conversation with Vanex. Hold onto your trousers, folks, we're giving Vanex LINES. We're also trying to give a reason as to how Jack appears to be the only one who can tell Zill about this anniversary. When Kayla starts going on about how Zill is so great he could be the real Slim Shady(, so will he please stand up, ) Vanex sighs, and asks Kayla if she's "going to do the same thing she did last year". See, last year, Kayla obsessed over her and zill's anniversary, telling everyone about it and never shutting up about it. This caused Zill to panic while planning that anniversary since he wanted to meet kayla's expectations. This serves as a reflection of both characters.

Kayla admits that Vanex is right, and decides she'll just wait for Zill to surprise her and not put any pressure on him.

Cut to Zill and Jack talking. Jack realizes what's going on here, and is about to tell Zill his mistake. Buuut, somebody materializes behind Jack and keeps his mouth shut. When Zill asks Jack what he forgot, Dame, of course, pretends its about the talent show. However, Zill actually gets a shot in at Dame here. He asks Dame if he really thinks he'd get in with a petty fiddle solo. Now, this was actually Zill making a joke, referencing "Devil Goes Down to Georgia". But of course, as we learn from the Son of 666 film, we know how this would strike a nerve with Damian. For a second, he's outraged at Zill's comment, but quickly recovers, stating that he could win, no matter what he did.

You guys have probably noticed that I'm having a lot of characters make pot shots at Damian in this rewrite. This is because I'm using these moments to build up to Dame's eventual breakdown in the next chapter.

So Zill wanders off, still unaware of his mistake. Jack starts yelling at Damian, and they get in a bit of an argument. Jack, understandably, is pissed, and calls Damian's actions selfish and uncaring. Damian, however thinks the entire thing would be hilarious. He tries to get Jack to go along with the joke, stating that if Kayla was out of the picture, Jack and Zill could go back to the way they were before. Jack asks Damian if he is so inhuman that he can't think of anyone but himself. The "inhuman " comment finally seems to make Damian snap, and he throws Jack into a locker, planning to have him stay locked in there for an entire week.

Later that day, Cameron decides to visit Carrie. This is a conscious decision she makes since she knows she'll have to eventually get used to the place. She mosies on over to Carrie's place, only to get almost killed by Carrie's pet unicorn, Brutus. Cam passes out. Carrie sighs, and begrudgingly carries Cam back home, praising Cam for her efforts under her breath.

Now, hop into your time machines, everyone! Onto next week.

Cameron is neurotic and is looking over her shoulder constantly, believing that Brutus will come after her. Walking into the try outs, we get the Gustav and Mackenzie scene. I'm making it so that Gustav is somewhat discriminatory towards humans (ch5 seems to imply that this sort of discrimination exists ). He greets Cameron rudely, and, of course, kicks Mackenzie off stage, referring to her as an it. Gustav is only discriminatory towards those who are fully human. Shapeshifters or wild Addisons do not count. Just clearing that up.

Nathan acts as the opposite to Gustav's ideas, and it's clear they have some history or relationship with each other, but Nathan is more of a marshmallow, so Gustav almost always gets his way around him.

After the Mackenzie scene, Cameron is introduced to Gustav and Nathan, and when their done, Gustav calls Next! but there is already someone on stage. Sahara is bored and leaning on her cauldron, texting. When she realizes that everyone is staring at her, she straight up sasses Gustav. She asks is she'll get kicked off for no reason as well by some over privileged snakey fucker who clearly has no fashion sense, and who clearly doesn't have the maturity to handle judging kids who just want to preform. Gustav is insulted, and Jackie cuts in, trying to diffuse the situation by having Sahara do her magic. Sahara asks them to hang on as two of her friends are texting her. Here, Addison is name dropped (and his name gets Gustav's attention ). He's apparently trying to ask Sahara where the fuck Damian went as he's been "acting wierd for the past week"

After Sahara's failure of a performance, Gustav make a snide comment about humans which Jackie reprimands him for. We get the convo between Zill and Sahara where Sahara reveals everything. But how does she know about the anniversary? Because of the other person she was texting. Damian.

See, Damian "just so happened to be passing by kayla's house " and he "just so happened to glance in the window and see Kayla sitting all alone by herself " and he felt "so sorry for her since it was her and her boyfriend's anniversary and he didn't seem to care." So when Sahara sees zill, her reaction is "WTF why are you not celebrating your anniversary with your girl?"

Zill realizes his mistake, but it's too late once he gets to Kayla's home. Kayla is suspicious and asks where he's been and Zill sheepishly confesses what happened. They have there breakup, and Zill walks home sadly.

The next morning we cut to Cameron standing in front of Carrie's door. She's hesitant to come in, and jumps when Carrie suddenly opens the door. Turns out Carrie saw Cameron outside her window and came down to let her in. She reassures Cam that she'd never eat her (she's waaaaaay to skinny to be nutritious) and invites her in, offering some whisky. Cameron declines, saying she doesn't drink, and Carrie asks about the talent show. Cameron actually found the entire thing to be terrifying because animals, but she tells Carrie that it was.... interesting. Carrie says "well at least you enjoyed it. Some people didn't seem to have the same reaction. "

Cue the classroom scene with unhappy go-unlucky boi, sad nacho cheese grape juice and the sinnimon roll from hell. Jack is concerned about Zill, but his comforting is interrupted by Damian's "Oh he's so broken "thing. However, Damian does this in more of a drama queen fashion, basically mocking Zill's attitude. Jack loses it and asks Dame what his problem is and if he is so devoid of empathy that he cares nothing about anyone but himself. Damian pretends to not know what Jack is talking about, and Jack ends up yelling at him in frustration that the next time Damian complains that not many people hang out with him, Jack will remind him of this. This causes the teacher to yell at them so now all three bois are unhappy. Jack however continues to comfort Zill, promising that Kayla will forgive him. Also, in this version, Zill is in the middle so Jack and Dame can be doing a wierd version of Angel on one shoulder, devil on the other.

Cut to fencing class. Kayla is clearly still upset and takes it out on people through fencing, but it isn't just because of the anniversary. Kayla wonders to herself if Zill had found someone better than her to replace her with.

You've all probably noticed that I've been bringing up Zill's past as a ladies man a lot. Since we've already learned in this version about it in the previous chapter, why not do something with it? Have it be something shady Zill regrets doing, but also something that bothers Kayla since it makes her fear that one day he'll find a girl better than her and go back to his old ways.

After class, Zill desperately tries to win back Kayla, but to no avail. Suddenly, everyone's favorite windy bird shows up. Horris demands a duel, but Zill tells him that he doesn't have time and that even if he beat him, no one would bow down and worship some crazy nutcase. Horris, however, persists in his demand and eventually, Zill snaps. Unfortunately, their fighting attracts the attention of Vagenza and Simon.

Meanwhile, Carrie and Cameron are walking outside, discussing some of the acts in the try outs, but are interrupted when Cameron looks up and freezes. Carrie asks what's wrong, but Cam faints. Looking up herself, while we don't see what's up there, Carrie does and picks up Cam and runs off to yell at the students to hide and to warn Zechariah.

Zill is to preoccupied with Horris to realize what's going on. It's only when Horris yelps and hides behind him that Zill looks up and he (and us, the audience ) see Vagenza standing (....flying? ) right in front of them.

Zill panics and zips towards the school to hide, only for Simon to pounce on him and hold him down. He also bites Zill on the arm. Vagenza is about to finish him off when da-duh-duh-DAAAA, it's Super Kayla to the rescue. Using her sword from fencing, she pokes Simon in the nose and distracts Vagenza. After Simon gets off him, Zill hurls a fire ball at Vagenza to keep her off of Kayla. Vagenza is about to attack, but is ambushed by Carrie, who ties her up. Fabian pounces on and holds down Simon. Vagenza manages to elbow Carrie in the face and escape. Simon almost ends up following his mistress to freedom, only for Zechariah to block his path, punch him, and knock him out.

Zech tells Kayla and Zill that the teachers have this under control, and that Kayla should get Zill to the nurse's office. While helping him up, Zill has this "you saved me" moment while Kayla says something along the lines of "well no shit Sherlock. You think I'd let someone kill you?" They stare at each other for a bit, and kiss, making up.

Some of the other students are emerging from hiding. Jack stumbles out of a locker, muttering "the fuck is it with me and lockers?" He looks for Dame, thinking "Oh shit, where's my bratty baby cousin, he was right beside me, this is not a good." Only for Damian to fall out of a trash can because he is secretly trash. They both see Kayla and Zill, and Jack turns triumphantly towards Damian like "haha! Your evil plan failed! " Damian looks disappointed for a moment, but, as usual, recovers quickly. He stands up and just casually says "gee, those two should get a room."

Jack is astonished that Dame can just act like nothing happened after everything. Damian walks off, and the chapter ends with a shocked and angry Jack staring after him.

------------------------

Sorry for the delay on this one. This took a while to write. Can you tell I typed some of this in the middle of the night? XD

Be sure to tell me what you guys think. Is there anything here in particular that you liked? Was any joke I made remotely funny? Or what did you not like or think I should add? Let me know your thoughts. Really, I appreciate it!

Thanks for reading.

....

Also, remember how I said to keep your pants on until I posted this and how once I did, we could all collectively rip our pants off?

Welp, y'all know what time it is!

3

2

1- wait, do shorts count as pants?

#zoophobia #zoophobia rewrite

[leggigoesabroad]

we’re only here on borrowed time

Sitting on a lovely, smooth, high-speed train from Nuremberg, Germany to Paris.  Yesterday was a day from hell which I'll lightly get into but not dwell on, but for now, I'm so happy.  I'd be remiss to not mention why!!  Part of the reason I decided to book the train instead of flying from Prague to Paris was for many uninterrupted hours to listen to this new book my doctor recommended for me, called "Stress Less, Accomplish More" but Emily Fletcher.  It obviously sounds like a typical self-help book, but I have a crush on my doctor and she really sold it for me.  (BTW she's no older than like, 32, is married with two kids, super pretty, and totally gets me.  She's very female-centric and one time said 'I'll never let you leave here without a prescription for more birth control, we will never let the system be the reason you're struggling with something' after asking if I had enough for the foreseeable future.  Joke's on her, I'm single AF, but it really spoke to me.)  She said it's a book about meditation and although I've tried meditating before, I am a little bit of a natural skeptic as to allllllllll of its listed benefits.  She said this super simple technique helps you sleep better, greatly reduces anxiety/depression, get sick less often, be more effective at work, eliminate jet lag, on and on.  She said she honestly can't say enough about it and it completely changed her life.  I took this as a way to be more like her and immediately bought it.  Also because I wanted her to like me.  Incidentally, she texted me a few days ago inviting me to a new women's group she's developing for people in my demographic who are going through the same things.  Because like of COURSE she did!! She also tells me to call her Casey instead of by "Doctor" and man I should stop now this is getting weird.

Anyway, this book is by an ex-Broadway performer who noticed she was going grey at age 28 (cough cough I am too) and was sick of all the medications she used to treat these symptoms and wanted to get more at the root.  She talks about how simple this meditation method is - 15 minutes twice a day - and how it is literally the best thing she's ever done for herself in her life.  After her course, she asks people how much money it would take to stop meditating.  They all say something between "500 million dollars" and "no amount of money in the world, because what would be the point without everything else meditation gives me?"  I booked the train so I could set aside several hours to listen to the book, especially on this trip, because we all know from the Thailand blog era that being far away in new countries is often what helps me make decisions in life and really self-reflect.  Yes, I hear how extra that sounds, but I'm fine with it.  I'm only on Chapter 5 and I keep intermittently crying!!  We haven't even gotten to the part where she tells me HOW to meditate!  Just her background on why it works and the entire theory behind it.  The author talks about one case in which a guy with advanced Parkinson's started her sessions and after literally the first one, his tremors disappeared during the entire 15 minutes and for 5 minutes after.  She said when they both opened their eyes he asked if she had noticed, and she said she did, and started crying because it was arguably the most profound moment of her career.  I'm crying typing this.  Ugh.  She doesn't claim that meditation will cure chronic illnesses of course, but rather that it's the best thing one can possibly do to supplement medical instruction and for some ailments, it can indeed end up replacing them.  She said after she started the practice, she didn't get sick again (cold, flu, anything) for EIGHT AND A HALF YEARS!!  Because when the body can use sleep at night to fully rest and not just as a band-aid for stress relief, your immune system can work at its intended level and not allow any of these small things to come into play.  You'd think I'd be getting paid for this post, but alas, I'm only 5 chapters in and get ready for me to be even more insufferable than usual when I get home.

Onward.  Last I left off I was in a cafe with Lizzy in Prague.  We stayed for a few hours and actually got a lot of work done!  Turns out my freelance deadlines don't disappear when I go to Europe, hmm.  We then walked to an area called Petrin, which from afar just looks like a tree-covered hill.  It's actually an uphill path in an expansive park that ultimately overlooks the entire city of Prague.  The more we went up, I kept thinking "we must be at the top by now" and then new buildings and castles and paths and orchards would appear.  It felt like a hidden fairyland with twists and turns and new beautiful sights along the way.  I posted a pic on the gram, but at one point we came to a clearing and there was a picture-perfect snapshot of the entire city through the trees.  With the red roofs and striking architecture I again almost felt like crying.  Also saw a bunch of couples making out in the orchards with no shame all, so that was something.  Good on 'em, ay.  We stopped for a glass of wine at the top (duh) and ended up chatting about work/management styles/feelings about jobs/etc.  Something great about Lizzy is that it turns out for everything I'm interested in, she's in grad school for.  I felt like she was the manifestation of all things fascinating to me.  Kinda like when you meet someone really smart who is able to vocalize all the things you feel about things, but better.  Like Hilary, but not my sister.  Like Jay Wong, but not my boss!  We talked about Kitty and her job search and then got into the concept of finding a job by figuring out what you love and what comes naturally to you, and then seeing how you can get paid for it.  She loved hearing about Kitty and SpotX and the proposal she had to do about team-building and customer engagement, and we chatted all about different marketable skills.  I remember crying to Hil many years ago (Hil if you read this, do you remember??) about how I *thought* I was smart but I hated studying/learning/school and my grades reflected that, and how I've squandered all my potential, I'm actually really dumb, etc.  BTW in retrospect I now see a lot of that as my undiagnosed ADHD and I wish I had understood it earlier to get ahead of it, but it's okay.  Hil at the time told me that she may have great grades and a good job, etc., but that she can't walk into a room and command attention or just become friends with everyone, and that skills come in all shapes and sizes and one isn't better than another.  I'M GETTING EMOTIONAL AGAIN.  Remember when my blogs used to be carefree and funny?  Me either.

After that, Lizzy and I walked all through the grounds of the Prague Castle and wound our way down the hill to the Charles Bridge, and stopped for another drink.  Then we got into a whole discussion about relationships and sexuality.  Later, when we were hanging out with her husband, Rob, I found myself saying over and over: "It's like what Lizzy and I were talking about earlier..." and he was like "how did you guys somehow talk about EVERYTHING today?!"  Females, man.  Eventually she went back to her place to shower and I checked into my Airbnb across the street.  Got SO EXHAUSTED and almost fell dead asleep while waiting for her before dinner, but rallied, and so glad I did.  We took the tram up the hill to a nice restaurant for dinner, then went to an Irish pub to watch the Liverpool/Barcelona game.  No one there remembered the epic call from 2010 World Cup that Ned and I quote all the time, but hey, we do and that's what counts. ("AND YOU COULD NOT WRITE... A STORY LIKE THIS.")  We got there at halftime and were ordering drinks at the bar when a guy sitting at the bar was a real dick and says to me and Lizzy, "just so you know, when the game's on again, you've gotta move.  I sat here on purpose for a good view, so make sure you move." Then turned to his partner and we could clearly hear him saying things like, "Fuckin' ridiculous they're standing right there during the game... I'm not going to let that happen... no fuckin' way" Um, a) it's half time. b) it's a bar and we're at the bar ordering drinks. c) WE KNOW. d) fuck off.  He kept talking about us after we moved and she and I briefly thought about starting shit but you know, foreign country and all that.  Luckily he was cheering for Liverpool and they got stomped in the second half to lose the game and we rejoiced. :)

Went to a weird, dark "Books" bar after that and we were almost the only people there.  There were condoms in the bathroom and I took one as a joke to show Rob and Lizzy, but now it's still in my bag and freaks me out every time I reach for my Chapstick.  We went back to their house afterwards and I kid you not, just watched Harry Styles videos.  Turns out they both love him, especially Rob, which is so rich to me.  He was like "this guy is just like coolness personified and he's so talented and he's weirdly attractive in kind of a feminine way but also masculine and he has such a nice voice and swagger...." you'd think I planted Rob to say this to me, but no.  We watched the entirety of his Carpool Karaoke as I told them all of my favorite parts ("I was back middle." "Why am I always Julia Roberts??" "I cry in like, a cool way.")  It's like when someone says to me, "you know, I'd love to know more about the meanings behind Taylor Swift's songs but I never learned, what are all of the albums about?" And I look around expecting that I'm being Punk'd.  Parted ways with them and thanked them for everything and told them I was very grateful for our summer camp relationship.  You know, the kind that is intensely strong, and very brief.  I may never see them again and yet we spent 15 hours straight together on Wednesday and I had one of the best days ever.  See you in another life, brotha.

A series of hiccups led to a very stressful morning on Thursday that I won't fully get into because my poor family already lived through it with me via WhatsApp... but it started with extreme random nausea, (the kind you have a serious internal talk with yourself about: "no.  you are okay.  take deep, slow breaths.  do not throw up here.  you are completely fine, this will pass.  breathe.  you're not sick.  this is just random.  you cannot throw up here.") and then I got on what was supposed to be a train from Prague to Nuremberg with a stop in Schwandorf, but there was a service interruption on the first leg and everyone knew but me.  Probably because everyone speaks Czech and I, ya know, do not.  BTW so far Czech is the least intuitive language I've ever come across.  I could read an entire book in it and wouldn't be able to give you even the slightest context, like you can with French/Spanish/German.  I know, romance languages and all that, but man I really underestimated how important it is to know some of the language when you're traveling through remote towns.  I notice everyone in Plzen has gotten off the train and I think "well that's weird, but maybe they're all local commuters."  A lady comes by and yells at me to get off, I say, "English?" She says, "NO.  Bus." and shoos me off.  In the panic I forget my suitcase from where I stored it - thank the heavens above, it was still there when I realized 15 minutes later and fought my way back on a closed train.  I have such PTSD today and can't fathom what would have happened if the train had left.  Imagine my suitcase just taking off on a train to the Czech countryside by itself.  Zero percent chance I get that back.  Work computer, my treasured leather jacket from Kathy that I swear I'd save in a fire, all of my toiletries and pills and prescriptions...ugh I can't even think about it.

No one spoke English except for a kind man at the info desk who spoke very little, and gave me directions ("directions" is a loose term here, I did a lot of critical thinking and problem solving to vaguely understand what I was supposed to be doing next) to take a bus in an hour that would take me to Stod, where I could then catch my train to Schwandorf and hopefully ultimately Nuremberg.  After a series of mishaps and incredible uncertainty, eventually all of that happened.  I walked into the hotel in Nuremberg and almost kissed the floor.  I had big plans to wake up early and explore, but alas, I'm embarrassed to admit that all I did in Nuremberg was buy some wine/chocolate/gummy bears and stay in all night and sleep late this morning.  Bodies need rest, y'all.  My audiobook author would tell me that my body is in recovery mode after releasing an unnatural amount of adrenaline and cortisol.  NEVERTHELESS SHE PERSISTED!

I'll be staying with rig friend Angie and her family in Paris, and seeing rig Aaron there too.  He messaged me yesterday and said, "so do you want to see museums and such? Or I can show you my favorite brasseries?" I said, "I've been to Paris, I'd just like to day drink honestly."  Luckily he is on board, shawoooooooo.  Oddly there's no WiFi on this train like they said there would be, but it's not that bad because it's so smooth and comfortable and I still have my audiobook.  Will post this blog sometime later when the WiFi shows up.  Cross your fingers that I get the romantic countryside train ride I pined for.  And happy weekend!!!

[lia-nikiforov]

Winter 2018 Anime Final Review

Why yes, pretty much all the Spring premieres are done (don’t even remind me haha I’m so far behind) and this is horribly late, I had a busy couple of weeks ;---; and am still struggling to catch up, but here’s my final rundown of this long slow winter! Worst to best, as always.

Dropped

Basilisk Ouka Ninpou Chou: Although I’d said I’d keep watching for the Nobunaga twist, given the onslaught of new stuff for Spring, it’s unsustainable to keep watching something so mediocre I don’t even find anything to say about it. Also Nobunaga hasn’t been mentioned in three episodes.

DUMPSTER FIRE

Darling in the Franxx: So we’re halfway through the show and still feels nothing of importance has happened, except we learned “lesbians are not viable, what a relief” and also KOKORO REALLY WANTS TO MAKE BABIES. The whole Kokoro business is very unsavory because on the one hand the writing is a dick to Walking Fat Joke Futoshi, but on the other hand Futoshi is an entitled Nice Guy who acts like Kokoro has some obligation to return his feelings, so basically everyone sucks lmao. Btw, does anyone know what happened with episode 13? I went to watch it but what I got instead was a Deadman Wonderland episode, complete with the story of Palurdo meeting Lab Experiment-turned-Beast Waifu as children and making a promise that would subsequently be forgotten until they meet again in their teenage years. Jesus, does Womenz are Beastz: The Anime have a single original idea?

How am I supposed to measure my own disinterest and contempt

This basically means I didn’t care for these shows. I don’t hate them but I was aggressively unengaged in them and I can’t really rank them from worst to best because that would imply me having any measurable emotional reaction to them

Violet Evergarden: I don’t think I have much to add about this one that I haven’t said before. Tryhard Sad Anime Girl stories rehashing old clichés with little novelty to them,  with a bonus of a super poorly explained and thought out child super soldier tragic backstory that still has me ?????? The final episode has the addendum of trying to redeem That One Asshole in a “he treats her bad because he’s sad about his brother dying sob sob sob he’s totally not a jerk” and i was very annoyed by that.

Koi wa Ameagari no You ni: It’s complicated to talk about this show. I really liked the first episode, hated the 4-6, then was mostly bored by the rest of it. The whole romance angle was completely dropped in the latter half, but I’m not even sure if that’s a good thing given how tastelessly it was being handled in some moments, or a bad one given how bland everything else was. It felt like Akira’s crush on Kondo turned out to be insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It also felt like Akira was profoundly underdeveloped, and it bothered me because Kondo was developed properly. His character felt more fully realized than hers. Like idk, I just cared so little for the last few episodes and it didn’t feel like Akira’s emotional progression was very connected with the first half of the show. 

Fate/Extra Last Encore: I don’t even have a screenshot. Apparently the reason the show started so late into the season is that it took a long time to produce, and apparently there are two more episodes that will be released at some point in July. But really, what matters is that I have no idea of what this show was trying to accomplish. The characters were a bunch of pieces of cardboard spouting pseudo nihilistic philosophical nonsense and I don’t even know how to describe the plot. It was generic in its Boss of the Week approach but the execution was often very flat. Definitely none of the fun from Apocrypha’s cool characters was to be had in this iteration of the franchise.

Too much iyashikei

This season we had too much iyashikei and I’m burned out. Here are the ones I didn’t hate but also wasn’t super in love with.

Miira no Kaikata: I think this show would’ve worked better as 3-minute vignettes. 20 minutes of it was a bit too much and I struggled to pay attention. I also felt the dragon and MukuMuku had very tangential roles. I don’t have a whole lot to say. It’s cute, if cute is your jam this show is for you. Connie is best smol monster.

Hakumei to Mikochi: Another cute show that gains extra points for its somewhat unique setting, beautiful color palette and picture book aesthetic and because the two main girls are great characters. I particularly liked the first and last episodes. It’s a relaxing, fun little show

Sanrio Danshi: The harbinger of feminism made into a toy commercial, while not quite iyashikei, is still a slice of life that just occassionally indulged in too much melodrama. It was nonetheless a fun little thing that managed to turn cynical consumerism into a positive message for boys: it’s okay to like non-traditionally-masculine things. One of the details I liked most was that none of the boys had to give up on their previous groups of friends even after “coming out”, Kouta’s friends and Shuu’s team were supportive of them and even participated in their dumbass musical play. Some may even read this show as a not-so-subtle allegory on homosexuality and while I don’t think this was Sanrio’s intent (their intent is to broaden their market, plain and simple) the fact that it works so well with that reading is honestly great. I had very minimal expectations for this show and I’m happy it turned out better than those.

Classicaloid 2: Classicaloid isn’t quite iyashikei either but it fits in the “didn’t love it, didn’t hate it” category. I’m a huge fan of season one, but unfortunately a big part of S2 failed to capture the magic. I think most of it was restored in the second cour, specially with brilliant episodes such as the one where Dovo-chan becomes a super-realistic painting of himself, and the last three episodes really captured what made Classicaloid great. I’ve really come to love this cast, so I wouldn’t complain if we got more seasons (please do Vivaldi!!!)

Shonen is a Good Genre, Actually

Shonen as a genre/demographic is much reviled for its repetitive clichés and childish stories, but I think we live at a time in which we can have well-executed shonen anime that, although falling for the same old clichés, have enough heart and sincerity that makes them enjoyable. This part also isn’t necessarily ranked, since my favorite one will change depending on which day you ask me

Nanatsu no Taizai: Imashime no Fukkatsu: As I have mentioned before, this second season seems to be the polar opposite of the first one’s rapid pace. It’s been a while since I read the manga, but I feel like it took a lot less to get to the mid-season cutoff point there than this anime would lead you to believe, especially the training part felt excruciatingly long. NanaTai has other various flaws including its 1000% not funny harrassment jokes and the dumb introduction of quantified “power levels” (why Suzuki), but characters like Diane, King and Ban give the show a unique flavor. And I’m not even gonna pretend to be unbiased, I just love everything involving Ban, even the weird and questionable choice of bringing Elaine back. I’m excited that we’re finally approaching Escanor’s arrival.

Yowapeda Glory Road: I also forgot to grab a screenshot lmao. Yowapeda is a very particular beast, and with its episode count already in the hundreds, it’s not something I’d reccommend unless you’re super into dragged out ridiculous sports anime. This second season of Onoda’s second year has not been without its flaws either, starting with the, imho absurd persistence in making Sohoku look like underdogs even though they’re reigning champions. It’s made a lot of the first two days of the Interhigh feel a lot grimmer than this cheerful show ought to. Kaburagi is still an insufferable character, and the fact that he drags the team down doesn’t help him either, and I just wish the writers would let Best Boy Teshima win anything. I hope the second day ends on a lighter note, because the gloom and doom is making this a less enjoyable watch than it should be

Mahoutsukai no Yome: I feel a little better about this one knowing the final was anime-original, but at the same time I’m beyond livid with how it was wrapped up. I loved the second half of the series because of how well-written and emotional Chise’s growth was, and everything up to her embracing of Cartaphilus’s curse was a beautiful display of her strength and will to live. What I’m not here for is that asspull wedding whatever that makes no sense in the context of the previous events, especially because after the fact, Elias’s attempt to kill Stella is swept under the rug. This could’ve been my favorite show of the season without that bullshit ending and while I don’t regret watching it, it leaves me with a sad feeling of what could have been

Best of the season

Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens: It had a slow start, but with its endearing cast and well-developed character relationships, HTR won me over, especially the last quarter. The animation was veeery barebones, but Lin and Bamba’s charisma and their organically developed relationship carried the show to be one of the most enjoyable of the season. I also really appreciate the fact that the series includes a gay couple with an adopted daughter and that Lin’s crossdressing is never used as a joke or treated as a character flaw or a “phase”. I love stories about found families and I’d love to see more of this gang fighting crime and doing shady business in their city of assassins.

Garo: Vanishing Line: This iteration of Garo had a somewhat slow start, but boy did it pick up steam in the second half. The action was great -the final fight against King had some incredible stylistic choices, the characters’ journeys felt complete and very human and the story was interesting and different enough from other Garo to not feel repetitive, yet with enough Garoisms that made it feel connected to everything else. Like I said, I love stories about found families, so the way Sophie found a home with Gina, Luke and Sword by the end was very touching. Watching Sophie’s journey has been a treat, and I’m immensely happy that this wasn’t a Guren no Tsuki disaster, but was more in line with the excellence of Honoo no Kokuin.

Gakuen Babysitters: This was the huge surprise of the season for me, I almost expected it to be pretty dull. Instead it turned out to be super cute and extremely heartwarming. It had a couple of duds here and there, mostly the not-actually-a-pedophile joke character and the early love triangle skits, but the former disappeared and the latter was vastly improved in the second half of the show. I wish Ryuichi’s grief had been dealt with a bit more, but I think what they did show was very well executed and empathetic. And the portrayal of the kids felt very realistic, including both children’s most adorable and most obnoxious behaviors. KIRIN IS BEST GIRL

Card Captor Sakura Clear Card arc: I have expressed some complaints and dissatisfactions with this sequel all through the season. Mostly in regards to the new cards and how the old ones seem to have been forgotten (also the lazy designs of the new cards). In spite of that, Sakura hasn’t lost any of its heart in these 20 years, the characters are still the kids we grew up with. It is an overwhelmingly cheerful and positive show, from Sakura and Syaoran’s shyly developing relationship, to the hopefulness of Sakura’s magic and just the simple day to day life of Sakura and her friends. In spite of all its flaws, Sakura is still my favorite show of the season and I’m happy we get to spend one more season with these characters. Just please give me more Yue??? 

Ooooof, finally I’m done with this! PLEASE LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT THE 20+ SHOWS I’M SAMPLING FOR SPRING AHAHAHAHA. There’s too much anime. Anime must be stopped, immediately. Don’t hesitate to send me your thoughts about the winter season, even if it seems I’m losing my mind a little Dx TOO MUCH ANIME

#winter anime #anime final impressions #darling in the franxx #violet evergarden #card captor sakura #gakuen babysitters #koi wa ameagari no you ni #fate extra last encore #garo vanishing line #hakata tonkotsu ramens #ancient magus bride #yowapeda glory line #nanatsu no taizai #classicaloid #sanrio danshi #hakumei to mikochi #miira no kaikata #100