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pagetwo · 1 year

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New York City: Feb. 14- Feb. 19

Friday, March 10, 2023

From February 14th-19th, I had the opportunity to go on a university class trip to New York City to meet with professionals in the Art History field and to explore the rich art scene of the city. This is the second trip of this sort that I have gone on with my school, but this trip was special because of the emphasis on meeting with art museum professionals- the field which I will be entering after graduation. During the week I was in the city, I visited the New York Public Library, the Morgan Library, MoMA, the MET, the Brooklyn Museum, and the Rubin Museum. We met with so many amazing professionals, including the chief curator of the Egyptian exhibit at the MET and one of the Egyptian artifact conservators who works at the MET as well.

On my first night in NYC, a couple of classmates and I explored the city in search of Anish Kapoor’s mini-bean under the jenga building. Visiting this newest iteration of Cloud Gate was a great way to start our art history trip- seeing this new piece of history that had recently been installed in the Big Apple. Visiting such an iconic piece of art, regardless of how one feels about Kapoor, was a grand way to kick off the trip!

On the 15th, after visiting some of the photo archives at the NYPL, our class attended a guided tour of the Morgan Library. We got to have such a surreal, humanizing, and unique experience during the tour when the docent pulled out a 5000 year old cylinder seal from ancient Mesopotamia and let us each hold it. My passion for art history was sparked when I first learned about ancient visual culture, so being able to hold this piece of history was a full-circle moment for me and my peers. It brought to life what we often can only view in photos or behind glass.

At the Morgan Library, we toured the exhibit “She Who Wrote: Enheduanna and Women of Mesopotamia, ca 3400-2000 BC.” It was all about the women of ancient Mesopotamia and how womanhood was understood during those times. We learned so many beautiful things about women deities who were bringers and takers of life, or wagers and enders of wars. A piece that really stood out to me was the costume for a Mesopotamian queen. The beading was gorgeous, featuring lapis lazuli- indicating the reliable trade the Mesopotamians would have had in what is considered modern-day Afghanistan. I noted that her headdress must have been an inspiration for Queen Amidala’s styling in the Star Wars franchise, calling back to the powerful women of our ancient civilizations.

After visiting the Morgan Library, we went to the MoMA. This being my second time at the museum in the last 10 months, I was comfortable visiting the pieces I missed the most- one of which being Matisse’s Dance. This painting always stuns me due to the grand scale of it and the use of vast fields of cool toned colors- green and blue.

On the 16th we spent the entire day at the MET. This was my second time at the MET as well, so I spent a majority of my time catching up where I left off last year- finally entering the wing of the Greek and Roman galleries where the cubiculi and mosaics are housed. The Chroma exhibit throughout the galleries was stunning to put it lightly! Classical sculpture is where my heart lies and finally I was seeing what the people I admire so much were seeing when these sculptures were at their prime. The Boxer sculpture has always been one of my favorites, so seeing it in such surreal detail was overwhelming and unforgettable. The Chroma exhibit had me imagining what my life would be like if I worked in the MET and got to study sculptures and look for remnants of pigment on them. It is groundbreaking research and I have such immense respect and appreciation for the brilliant art historians and scientists who are doing geeks like me this service.

Some things that were stunning and gripped me in tears for an hour were a mosaic of a woman in a wreath, coins depicting Trajan, and the vibrant cubiculi that I did not have a chance to visit last year. These are what it is all about for me. These are what my discipline mean to me! Seeing the mosaic mere inches from my face, as opposed to from around a roped-off corner as I did last year, allowed me to see all of the individual tesserae and imagine how it would have looked inside of a Roman villa. The coins with Trajan on them made me incredibly emotional, as I am somebody who studies Roman emperors. These were undeniable visual evidence that these subjects I devote so much of my studies to were real people! Real people who had real impacts on the world and who I only wish I could have met. The star of the show for me though were the cubiculi. I had been dying to finally enter one ever since I first studied Roman villas, particularly Pompeiian villas. As I stood inside of the cubiculum pictured, I took my time admiring all of the gorgeous frescoes. Frescoes I had only seen in textbooks and on powerpoint slides. There they were, right in front of my face. All the room needed was the proper furniture and I would have been exactly where my heart longs to be.

Lastly, on Friday the 17th, we visited the Brooklyn Museum as a class and later some of us visited the Rubin for a free guided experiential tour and DJ event. At the Brooklyn Museum, we got a tour from one of their museum educators of the Thiery Mugler exhibit. My goal is to be a museum educator, and to make museums enjoyable and understandable for every visitor. Our tour guide did exactly that for us. Part of our tour included ten minutes for us to go around the exhibit with provided paper and pencils, to draw any of the costumes we were drawn to and to think about the material or how the costume must have felt. She provided us with an activity that I definitely would have done if I were in the same position. That activity engaged our intrinsic motivation, allowing us to connect with a piece of our choosing, but it also encouraged us to think critically about the pieces in the exhibit. How would they have felt? Who would wear them? Why am I connecting to it? She showed me exactly how effective and necessary museum educators are in order to engage all visitors and to break down barriers of intimidation in museum spaces.

The Brooklyn Museum had a lounge area that I connected with during my individual expiration of the museum. Museum fatigue is real and can be a huge barrier to enjoyment for museum-goers. Not only was this room visually stunning, the ottomans were also art and welcomed visitors to be comfortable and relaxed. This is something that I am passionate about as I prepare for my future in museums. I know how important comfort is when people have so much going on in their days and lives. My respect for the Brooklyn Museum only went up that day, as I went down and laid on one of the ottomans.

At the end of the night, at the Rubin museum, I attended a guided tour of the galleries. The Rubin is a museum of Himalayan art and visual culture. The gallery is meant to be experienced rather than viewed. We explored our senses as we explored the galleries, we meditated, we transformed our energy into something beautiful. The whole design of the museum and tour were a unique take to museums and welcomed visitors into Himalayan Buddhist culture and practice. I think that this is a museum that everybody should visit if they have the opportunity to do so.

Overall, this trip did a lot to prepare and excite me mentally for my impending future. Soon I will be released into the world, no longer in school, no longer in a classroom. The professionals we met with during our trip provided a lot of insight into the many avenues and journeys one may endeavor to get to where they are going. My journey so far has had so many twists and turns, and it was comforting and affirming to hear their stories. I related to so many of them and I felt assured that at the end of the day, if I continue chasing my dream and my happiness, I will end up exactly where I belong. Being an art historian is so much more than being a student or being an academic. Art can be found anywhere: on the street, under buildings, in libraries, or in museums. Wherever there are people, there is art. Wherever there is art, there are art historians. Not everybody in the museum or art historical world comes from an art history background. The greatest thing I took away from this trip and the stories I heard at these various institutions is that achieving one's goals is all about accepting any and every opportunity for growth, as opposed to making some sort of five or ten-year plan and adhering strictly to it. I came out of the trip knowing that my path to being a museum educator is unclear but that I will get there as long as I continue chasing it.

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catboyfurina · 3 months

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One of the really irritating things about that 'oh QPR is just friendship, clearly you've never had friends, lmao loser' discourse is that (and there are many irritating things this is just one of them) even in QPRs that ARE just friendships with a new fancy label.... like...? There are many kinds of friendship that people just have because it's easier than not. And there are friendships that you think are going to be incredibly lasting, but then they date someone new and suddenly you're no longer a priority. The QPR label lets people attach an intentionality and priority to their friendship that really is not guaranteed..... like also not every QPR is this way etc etc but even when it is Just Friendship T M its still like entirely reasonable to want to use that label to signify that it isn't casual

#beeep #like this isnt to say casual friendships are BAD but for alloros its kinda like. there is a typical way to denote a relationship #is intended to be very lasting and very stable and it has its own special word and its normal to look for it etc etc and #like why are u begrudging aros the same thing. just cus they dont wanna kiss??? ridiculous #<-guy who was having Emotions about how boyfriend is a really nice label cus it lets me know its On Purpose and not just Convenient #but like yeah. idk if im arospec or not im kinda giving up on the having a solid orientation thing cus thats hard but... the knowledge that #your loved ones will move on and find someone they love the most and then in the future youre nobodys priority and u cant blame them but it #hurts. well thats really scary. like constant unrequited love but nobody understands because the unrequited love is friendship and they lov #you like a friend ! except they don't realize how different the intensities are anyway. this was a fear of mine when i was id'ing as aro an #it isnt an unreasonable one i think. also may have been somewhat sponsored by being the Convenient Friend and not ever a Best Friend but #yeah. in conclusion. even if a qpr is just another name for a friendship there is a REASON they want to use that term for it and its not #just lmao shitty losers. its because the world is really hard to navigate alone and people want to signify that commitment ! raaaaaaargh #anyway im probably not fully aro ive decided. like probably the cupio label is not correct like i previously thought. but i think that #people are ridiculously mean to aros and like. kinda treat them like they are stupid????? or childish??? anyway #turns out i may not be aro however i believe in their beliefs (i could elaborate more on that but i suspect im running out of tags)

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meloncalic · 2 years

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Control

warnings: stalking/casing, VERY brief mention of a rapist, violence/gore description, nothing explicit happens but is implied, knife mention

uh it’s basically POV you’re Murdock, so i feel like that’s a warning in and of itself??

800+ words

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There is a very integral part of human nature that separates us from beasts. Some say it’s reasoning, language, society as a whole. They’re all wrong.

The only thing keeping the primal instincts of our inner being masked is control. Human beings are savage creatures with control.

Control.

The voice in your head that keeps you from jumping off that railing. From strangling that co-worker. From speeding right through that red light.

Control is something that can also be trained, expanded to handle new issues. Perfected.

This is what Murdock has had to dedicate himself to. When the feeling comes, control is the only thing that can stop it. That feeling, that urge, it operates like clockwork.

It always originates as a sensation at the base of his skull, a sign that something is off. It spreads, days later, throughout the head, pounding with want and compulsion to just —

That’s when the research has to start. He’s a man who plans, who does things with intent, his talents would be wasted with anything else.

The newspaper of the city is always riddled with the day’s featured scumbags: the repeated killer here, the rapist there. Without fail, there’s multiple options to choose from. And plenty of time in the future.

But for now, one in particular stands out to Murdock, and the feeling nods its head in agreement. A serial kidnapper, determined to target the helpless. Pathetic. Do they really find themselves so high and mighty for beating someone who wasn’t even playing their game? The article about the criminal finds itself cut out, and plunged into the darkness of a coat pocket.

The point in the night when everything is so still it seems as if nothing’s alive, is his favorite he thinks. The calm, cool nocturne air would feel nice if not for the car surrounding him. That gentle buzz, that feeling in his skull, is building up to throbbing by now — right on schedule.

His car is parked with a perfect view into an abandoned warehouse, magnified through binoculars. Its metal creaking and concrete crumbling exterior a perfect potential spot for the kidnapper. He had narrowed down possible locations over the last couple of days, using the help of some informants and people with certain legal resources. Why the cops were getting lazier and lazier in this place, he couldn’t guess. Well maybe he could, as it’s well known that the current controlling power of organized crime in the area has their teeth in the Chief. But, that wasn’t going to stop him from using their assets.

The scene stays the same for what seems like hours, the only motion being the flickering of streetlamps in his view. All the while, the feeling had been starting to claw its way through the rest of his body, a buzz of something pumping through his veins. To say he’s starting to feel antsy is an understatement. Another especially strong wave hits.

Before he can try and shake it off, a clatter of metal catches his attention. Getting out of the car silently but quickly, he scans for the source of it, trying to concentrate through the rushing of blood in his ears. If it were a perfect world, now the kidnapper would come out and reveal themselves, unknowing that they have already met their end. He would slice the pathetic worm open, watch the fear in their eyes drain to nothingness. And the feeling would disappear again, if only for a couple days.

But it’s not a perfect world, the criminal is nowhere to be found and the urge is still there, growing. His handy knife feeling heavier and heavier by the second in its holster. He gets bad when he’s like this, he’s had enough experiences past this point to know you don’t want to be around him.

Practically trembling as he gets back in his car, white-knuckles gripping the steering wheel with his eyes squeezed shut.

In and out. Just breathe. In and out. Control.

And the rush calms, if for just a moment. The peace is welcomed, a brief pause of the roaring in his ears and adrenaline pumping in his veins is phenomenal. It doesn’t last long —

A man appears on the end of the street, head-to-toe in jogging gear with headphones on. Night runners, God have mercy. Are people really that dumb? Especially in an area like this?

The jogging man stops to catch his breath. Murdock feels the urge rear its ugly head again, electrifying and exponentially more powerful than before his little meditation session. He looks down and he’s holding his knife in his lap. He doesn’t remember removing it from its holster.

The jogger continues to lean on the building, breathing heavy. The man hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s probably got a wife, kids, a stressful job. This is probably the only time he ever gets to himself.

Murdock still finds himself getting out of his car, blade in hand. Every fiber of his being on fire, the urge is over-due, and it’s making that fact known. It doesn’t care who, just if.

#ok so like i can explain #no i cant i just #listen i know this isnt usually how fanfics are but im in the spooky scary mood and i just really wanted to flesh out my murdock a lil #i really just want him to be cool and edgy but also like he has this fatal flaw with control yaknow #anyways. goodbye this was an experience #i am NOT a writer dear god pls don't take this seriously and will probably change in the future #am i supposed to be drawing? why yes! yes i am!#we had a writing assignment in one of my classes today and this is a byproduct #calscribbles

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toytulini · 8 months

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not to shill for tumblr or be a mobile user on main but i do just wanna point out i think the response to the dashboard clown thing is a little disproportionate, all things considered

like if you just dont like the show thats fine but the way some of these posts are worded very weirdly and acting like its somehow way worse than.....literally any of the other ads? like yea tumblr is a company and not your friend, netflix is unethical and sucks. but like. are we pretending tumblr hasnt had ads for like. horrible fad diets and the fucking trump coin and god knows what else but like this really isnt worse than like. the fact that ppl with strobing triggers are constantly endangered by the ads on this site.

and maybe its super bad on desktop or something but so far this ad campaign has actually been one of the less obtrusive ones vs their other ads, imo. I dont think ive really seen them in between the posts on my dashboard? (hard to tell bc I try to automatically ignore those anyway) but like it feels like most of this ad campaign has been. a little fictional character at the top of the dashboard. and like. a separate dashboard "tab".....that i dont have to look at, and i dont. and its fine. i barely even noticed it. i probably wouldnt have thought twice about it if everyone hadnt started complaining about it. if tumblr wants to do more ads that are just dashboard tabs that I dont actually have to look at and arent interrupting my main dash i think im fine with that actually. like. obviously no advertisements are better than ads but like i dont have a particular problem with the structure or honestly even the content of this ad. its for a show that i might be intrigued to watch honestly. but its also not being targeted to me personally based on data harvesting its just blanket targeting to everyone.

again, id prefer no ads, but if we're going have them: i would actually prefer it be for things i might be interested in, but without the data harvesting to do it. if i HAVE to see ads, this is a way that i dont mind as much.

#toy txt post #sorry if you have a clown phobia ig. i hope one of the many posts with instructions on how to make the clown go away have been helpful for #you. i would like to point out that people can have phobias and triggers of Literally Anything so its not like there is anything that can be #advertised that is Fine For Everyone. i will admit clowns are a fairly common phobia but again i will point out the diet ads #and ask why we arent more incensed generally about the ubiquity of fatphobia in culture. and i will point out the unavoidable flashing ads #that have been a danger to ppl w strobing triggers. be that for migraines or epilepsy etc. both bad.#and i will point out. i dont THINK the clown has been strobing and i dont think the one piece ad campaign on tumblr dot com has been #particularly strobey? and i would just like to also say. its not even a scary clown. its not even like a horror ad. hes literally just like #a clown. its like walking past a spirit halloween. and tbh tis the season. sorry #idk. again. i think its fine to dislike the ads i think its fine to dislike clowns and one piece! but like #do you have to pretend its like The Virtuous Position of Righteous Outrage over an Ethical Transgression??? its literally fine #as far as my Problems With Tumblr Staff Go. Putting A Little Clown On The Dashboard As An Ad for a show is like #i dont. really give a shit. its fine. its cringe ig but what isnt. its fine to be cringe. its actually more cringe imo bc its an ad than the #the content itself being `cringey` bc u can cringe all day long at weeb nerd interests and for what? how dare genuine interest in media #i will say mixed bag of like. using ppls art within the ad campaign. not sure what the right thing to do there is tho #bc i think its honestly kind of a bad combo of tumblr trying to earnestly promote artists on the site #by reblogging and linking their work. but it is also. exploiting their art for advertisements without apparently asking or compensating them #WHICH. is still somehow a step above like hot topic and shit. bc tumblr is. i think? doing the bare minimum of linking to the artist? and #not presenting it as smth they made. perhaps in the future they could maintain the cool thing of trying to earnestly promote the work of #independent artists without it being as exploitative by like. asking permission to the artist to use their art and MAYBE even pay them #altho ig that can be tricky for things like this where its kind of fanart. but i do think they could work it out. like theyre clearly #already talking w netflix and shit so they could work a licensing deal w the artists or smth. but then that is also tricky rn specifically #bc of the strike. tumblr is a company that does not intend to join the unions. and generally i would probably prefer companies commission #independent artists in this way i think that would be cool. but in this situation specifically it would suck for the artist bc if they #approve it and get compensated for it instead of it just being fanart. now theyre Promoting A Struck Company Officially i think?#im not gonna pretend to know the details of what is and isnt allowed for influencers but if someone happens to like. be an artist who wants #to also get into sag aftra that might become a problem. idk! if nothing else. it definitely seems more complicated to navigate than tumblr #itself doing an ad campaign for netflix. which again. netflix sucks shit. but its not like Tumblr Ads(tm) are known for being only ethical #companies. i just saw like 5 ads for audible on my dash. you know. a company that i believe has had some shady shit w how it treats authors #and is owned by amazon.so like. idk. Advertising A Netflix Show is not high on my list of issues i have w staff or how theyre running things

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pizzapizzadickz · 1 year

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I feel a lil bit better today after getting some rest in. I always feel better when I can spend a day at home. I think tomorrow I'll wear my noise cancelling headphones or something so I can chill even more.

...funny how my way to chill is just trying to eliminate all external stimuli

(Pt 1 for description rant)

#diary #personal #i rly wanna book a therapy appointment but im having a rly hard time trying to get myself to do that bc i need to check i can vid call #cuz my computer monitor is broke and havent fixed it yetttt ugh.#i rly feel like researching autism again. idk. i saw a video about communication badges being used at furry conventions #and by god that sounds so fun ;-; like. i really struggle with interaction with others and talking is sometimes really hard.#mainly bc if theres a lot of noise i usually wanna block it out and if i gotta take my earbuds out to comunicate all the time its not fun #idk. i just wish i could go around writting shit out for ppl to read and thats that. no need to speak to clerks or crap.#bc imma be honest. i have a hard time hearing too. like in crowded places. its so overwhelming all the time.#its both a good and a bad thing that im giving myself the permission to be overwhelmed in situations #but its also making it much more difficult to actually be in those situations.#idk. i used to force myself through it. tell myself i like it or whatever. but by god everything just hurts nowadays #like. i dont like leaving my house mostly bc of the sensory overload.#i wonder how things'll change in the future. just how much more accepting will i and society be. i dont know.#but i hope i learn to cope more. bc life is really hard and imma be honest im struggling at best.#idk. i find it so hard to work lately. i love my thoughts. they are so fluid. and just. language doesnt keep up.#everything i say or write isnt quite right. and it bothers me. i sorta wished telepathy existed just soley so i could comunicate #idk maybe someday ill learn sign language. and maybe that could help. but it wouldnt help when im shut down. or having a meltdown #yknow. i find face to face human to human contacr really scary. i worry theyll want to do something and i wont #i worry i wont be able to get across my reasoning as to why. i worry that theyll see just how odd my behaviour can be.#and above all i just sorta worry they wont work with me to meet me halfway. like. im stuck with my family i dont want that with friends too #i hope if i visit them itll be okay. that like. i wont cause a problem or accidentally offend them or something?#idk. i wanna make friends n hang out. but as ive gotten older ive discovered just how much i hate that.#like i saw a rly cool tik tok about how they set up their home for all their autistic friends when they come over.#like. its established you can just stop talking and remove urself if you wanna. and theres stim toys n plushies n shit. and low lighting #and just. that sounds like heaven. i struggle so much in social situations. bc i eventually get tired.#and it makes me feel sorta burnt out/depressed. so itd be nice if i could just remove myself from a stituation whenever.#or just lay my head down on someones lap and silently observe.#i wish i knew what to do when i get overwhelmed in public. bc it happens a lot. and i freeze. and idk what to do.#and ill cry and get overwhelmed and shutdown or meltdown. and i start to aimlessly wander and its sorta dangerous tbh?

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n0b0dys-h3r3 · 2 years

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Having an active sui plan deadass kinda scary 😳

#its not really like i wouldve had much of a future anyways #id rather be dead at 18 than alive at 18 #1/7/26. i wont even graduate #isnt that scary ckjdsksn

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bbyquokka · 11 months

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oh god

pairing: kim seungmin x gender-neutral reader

genre: fluff (if you squint a lil), smut – MDNI

synopsis: you're seungmin's first

warnings: smut, established relationship, virgin seungmin, oral (m rec), protected sex, pet names, some nipple play

words: 2.8k ~ (2,899)

♡ m.list — ♡ you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

he wants to wait, wait for the right person and for when the time is right. everyone around him, his friends, mutuals, acquaintances, everyone he knew was out doing it and to him, he didn't see the point.

the point being, why give away something that's precious to a complete stranger. someone you don't plan on having a future with. nowadays, sex is seen as a competition instead of something that's valuable.

men cheer on their mates when they learn each others body counts, calling their dicks big and praising them whilst comparing and contrasting their past sexual partners, telling each other every explicate detail down to the T.

seungmin just isnt like that. the amount of times he has heard about another woman's breasts and nipples is beyond him. it puts him off sex even more.

he didn't really care about sex because he has seen and heard about it so many times that's he's become desensitized to it, but he is human after all. he has needs and sometimes, a lonely night with nothing but lube, his hand and a cheesy over the top porn video isn't cutting it for him any more.

then you came along. he didn't think it was possible to get an erection just from looking at someone but as soon as he saw your beauty, his cock twitched in an instant.

it started of slow. seungmin wanted and needed that emotional connection with you first before going any further with you. you spoke on the regular, facetime, text messages, sending each other silly memes and videos, the usual's one would say.

it wasn't until seungmin caught himself blushing and giggling at a simple text of “hi! i miss you, min! hope you're ok. 🥺🖤” did he realise that maybe, he liked you a lot more than he thought.

his heart thumped against his chest every time you touched him or looked at him. your beautiful smile and sweet voice causing his mind to go all mushy. if that wasn't enough of a sigh that he was falling for you, he would go home and masturbate for hours on end with you on the mind, your voice ringing in his ears, your face popping up in his mind. body doing all sorts of positions and poses–its almost like you're there.

he'd curse himself for being a virgin. he wanted a bit more experience in that department. scared that you would judge him for being inexperienced, he kept it a secret even after you both got together.

it didn't take long for you to notice that seungmin was hiding something from you. every time you tried to initiate something in the bedroom, he would make up an excuse, brush you off with a lie so you confronted him about it.

filled with so much guilt for making you doubt and question yourself as well as the relationship, did he blurt out:

“i'm a virgin!”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“yn” seungmin stutters as you kiss his neck. “w-wait.” you pull away from him, eyebrows furrowed together.

“everything ok, minnie?” seungmin's chest rising up and down at an uneven pace. his penis already hard just from a few neck kisses and making out with one another. he's sensitive to everything. his skin burning from the areas you have kisses and sucked. every time you drag your fingertips down his skin, it leaves behind a trail of fire.

“y-yeah. it's just, i'm just–” seungmin stutters, cheeks as red as a rose. you smile warmly at him, cupping and stroking his cheeks gently.

“hey, are you nervous?” your voice is sweet and soft. seungmin swallows thickly, nodding slowly. he's so sick with nerves, his body shaking due to the scary amount of pleasure and emotions he is feeling.

you notice his shaky hands as he reaches up to place his hand on top of yours. you remove your hand, holding it instead and stroking the back with the pad of your thumb.

“it's ok to be nervous, minnie.”

“is it though?”

“absolutely! it's new and scary. you're most likely feeling very overwhelmed with pleasure, nerves and anxiety but we take it slow, m'kay? we go at your pace.”

“does it not bother you? that i'm inexperienced.” he mumbles. you let out a soft chuckle, kissing his cheek gently.

“no, it doesn't bother me in the slightest. something like this is precious, it's precious to you so i respect that.”

“but what if i do something you don't like or–or i say something or–” he rambles. you lean in and peck his lips gently to calm him down of his nervous ramblings.

“we communicate. we're a unit, you and i. communication is the most important thing in a relationship, regardless of what type it is. if i do something to you or say something that makes you think, oh. i don't like this, it feels weird, then tell me.”

“but what if i hurt your feelings..” his voice is nothing but a whisper as he bites his bottom lip.

“my darling. you could never hurt my feelings. i won't know unless you tell me. i'd be more upset not knowing i was doing something to you that you disliked than you being straight and honest with me.”

“ok..” seungmin chews his lips nervously, his hands still trembling against your skin.

“hey.” you softly say, leaning in so your lips brush against his softly. he whimpers, closing his eyes slowly. “you'll be ok, i promise you.”

you kiss him softly being slow at first. you allow seungmin to slowly melt into the kiss, his lips moulding with yours and finding that perfect tempo. wanting to take the initiative and feeling a little more confident, he gently bites your bottom lip as a silent request for permission to open; to which you oblige.

parting your lips slowly, seungmin slowly slides his tongue past your lips. he whimpers a little at the feel of your tongues meeting in the middle, colliding and tangling together. saliva and breathy pants mix together.

with shaky hands, seungmin cautiously touches your exposed chest. he gingerly plays with your nipples, flicking and tugging on them gently before rolling them between his fingers. you let out a soft groan, pleasure tingling down to your fingertips and toes.

“fuck baby. keep doing that.” you whisper.

“you like that?”

“yes. it feels good.” you groan as you slide your hand down seungmin's exposed chest and torso to cup his erection through the material of his black boxer shorts. he involuntarily bucks his hips in your hand which causes him to flush pink.

you kiss his cheek, trailing your lips along his jawline to his ear. you lick and suck on his lobe as you palm his erection, rubbing and squeezing his length.

seungmin lets out shaky breathes, his body trembling as pleasure courses through his veins. he feels so good, he's on the verge of tears and all you're doing is palming him. he has yet to feel you. with every minute that passes by, his brain slowly turns to mush. sweat accumulates on his forehead and chest, his toes curling as his hands are now stationary against your chest.

“can i give you oral?” you ask, biting your lip gently. seungmin swallows, the question ringing in his ears and making him feel dizzy.

oh fuck. oh no. god oh god! can you? the person he loves, adores and cherishes the most. the person whom he finds so unbelievably attractive, give him oral?!

he mind and body screaming at him. he wants to yell “fuck yeah!” at you but instead, he whimpers and gives a small and shy nod.

you beam at him as you shuffle between his parted legs. he holds his breath as he watches you, watches his many fantasies and dreams come true right before his very eyes.

grabbing the waist band of his boxers shorts, you slowly pull them down his legs and discard them on the floor by the bed. a sudden wave of embarrassment and shyness washes over seungmin, shackling him to the mattress.

he instinctively covers his private area with his hands, his cheeks and tips of his ears red. you place your hands on top of his gently, removing them slowly as you make eye contact with seungmin. nothing but fear clouds over his pupils as he chews his bottom lip raw.

“hey, it's ok darling. it's just me.” your voice is so soft, so soothing to him that all the fear and nervousness washes away in an instant. he lets you remove his hands, showing you all he has to offer.

“that's my boy.” you coo as you kiss his hands. he lets them flop to the side as your eyes flicker down to his penis.

what he lacks in girth, he makes up for in size. his tip red, veins protruding along the sides and traveling to his tip. pre-cum beading and coating his skin making it glisten in the dim light with the occasionally twitch. you also notice how neatly trimmed his pubic area is.

“you have such a pretty cock, min.” you coo, watching seungmin stutter and become flustered. he never thought of his cock (or any cock for that matter) being pretty, he just thought of it as average. but hearing those words come from your mouth makes him so dizzy with lust and heat.

your hand wraps around his base. seungmin watches you with beady eyes, his chest heaving up and down in time with his laboured breaths. he bundles up the sheets in the palm of his hands as he watches you slowly stroke him.

it's slow and languid, something that normally wouldn't get seungmin off. however, it's you. it's your hand around his cock. it's your face that's so dangerously close to it. he makes a mental note of how small you look around him, his brain malfunctioning and failing to do the basic human things.

“fuck..” he mumbles as you slowly pick up the speed. you rotate your wrists at the tip, using your thumb to slowly rub it and smear the pre-cum. seungmin clenches his jaw, his body tingling and vibrating from excitement and pleasure.

and then it happens. your lips wrapping around his tip. the warmth from your mouth paired with the wetness makes seungmin lose the ability to speak. instead, he whimpers, reaching down and tangling his fingers in your hair as he watches his cock disappearing slowly in your mouth.

you hum around him, closing your eyes as you suck. you swirl your tongue around his tip, making sure your jaw is slack to get more of him. what you fail to reach, you compensate for by stroking him in time with your sucks.

“shit shit shit. fuck–ah!” seungmin pants, tugging and gripping your hair. his head falls to the side, his bangs falling over his half lidded eyes. sweat soaks his body as pleasure and lust swamp him. he wants to cum, he most definitely could cum at any minute but he doesn't want to.

he wants to hold because he wants so much more of you. he wants to feel you, hear you and taste you. he's hungry for you, despite the fact he didn't know it could be possible.

the more time he spends inside your mouth, the more he slowly loses it. his mind is nothing but mush. his body shaking due to the high level of lust and desire. he watches you suck his cock so perfectly. he wants to praise you, to tell you how good you're doing but he can't because if he dares opens his mouth once, he's scared of the sound that'll come out.

and then you swallow. a new, alien feeling shoots up his spine. the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. the tightness of your throat around his cock automatically causing him to let out a long and throaty groan.

you pull away with a smirk, licking your lips as you look at your fucked out lover.

“i see you found your voice.” you giggle.

“good..” seungmin mumbles. you laugh softly, shifting and straddling his lap. he looks up at you through his half lidded eyes. you push back his bangs, watching them automatically part and show more of his sweat coated forehead.

his pupils blown out with lust, beads of sweat rolling down his temples. his lips parted and dry. he's a beautiful sight to see, a sight you want to see over and over again.

“shall we?” you ask. seungmin nods his head fast, making himself dizzy. you smile warmly at him before grabbing a condom and rolling it on his length.

“are you sure?”

“yes”

“a hundred percent?”

“a million trillion percent. i want this, i'm ready.” you nod, giving the tip of his nose a gentle peck.

you hover over his cock, reaching behind and holding it at the base. seungmin holds your waist as he watches you lower yourself down on his condom clasped penis.

you groan softly, head kicking back as you feel yourself stretching out. seungmin grips your hips tightly. he thought the warmth from your mouth was good but this warmth is a feeling he cannot describe. it's so alien yet so so good to him, for him.

the warmth paired with the tightness is too much for his body to bare. he's melting into the mattress, his body uncomfortable hot and sweaty but comfortable high with lust, adrenaline and hormones.

“oh, god..” he says through gritted teeth as he watches you lower yourself down on him. you shakily pant, planting your hands firmly on his stomach to steady yourself.

“how do you feel?”

“strange. weird. but so fucking good. it's so amazing. i'm so.. it's so–” he digs his nails into your skin as you slowly bounce on him.

“feels good.” you moan. seungmin can't speak, only nod his head as he leans in. he buries his face into the crook of your neck, arms wrapping around your back firmly as you bounce on him at a steady pace.

he doesn't know what to do nor does he know what he is doing. his body is on autopilot, doing what he thinks and feels is best. his teeth sinking into the skin of your neck, lips trailing to your shoulder blade where he bites.

a string of moans and fucks leave his lips unwillingly. his voice increasing and decreasing. sometimes he is loud, moaning and groaning and not caring about the neighbours. other times, he is soft and whimpering, whispering your name over and over again.

he doesn't know what he is doing, that part is true. he doesn't recognise himself, the pleasure taking over his mind and body to the point where it feels like it isn't him anymore.

“god yn. so good, you feel so good. oh fuck me, please.” he begs. you hold onto his shoulders to steady yourself as you use your thighs to bounce faster. you kick your head back to expose your neck as you moan his name, seungmin taking full advantage of your exposed neck to kiss, lick and suck the skin.

moans and groans combined into one. seungmin's body shaking as the pit of his stomach burns. it's tight, his balls hurt and his cock twitches inside you.

“yn–”

“m-mhm?” you look at him, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes glossy. he's close to tears as he whimpers.

“hurts. close. fuck.”

“it's–it's ok. listen to your body baby.”

“what about you?”

“don't worry about me. it's all about you tonight baby.”

sinking his teeth into your shoulder blade, you give one finally bounce and seungmin is a sobbing, whimpering mess. he holds you close to his sweaty body, the heat from you both making you feel lightheaded. his muscles spasm as he empties into the condom, nothing but soft whispers of your name ringing over and over again in your ears.

once calm, you lift yourself up and off seungmin. he takes the condom off, tying it and discarding it in the trash before pinning you down on the mattress by surprise. your eyes widen before you swallow thickly.

something about him has changed, like a switch has been flipped suddenly. his eyes hold nothing but pure hunger for you, his cock failed to calm down. his body is buzzing and mind mushy. he's not thinking straight anymore, his actions being driven by the pure hunger he is feeling.

“s-seungmin?” you stutter. he licks his lips as he grabs another condom, rolling it on his length before teasing your entrance with his tip by rubbing it. you whimper as you watch him.

“more. i need more of you.” you both groan in unison, your body arching up off the bed as he slowly pushes his length inside. he wastes no time in thrusting. his cock stroking and caressing your insides. you grip onto the sheets, watching seungmin lose control of himself.

“sorry. i'm so sorry. i can't stop. so hungry. more, i need so much more. please yn, please give it to me.”

you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck to pull him down to you. he pants heavily against your lips as you smirk and wrap your legs around his waist, keeping him close.

“then don't stop. we have all night, so feel free to indulge.”

note: inspiration for this mess 😃 so uh, yeah. idk what else to say because my brain is mush rn. oh! i have also been working on a lil something so keep your eyes peeled for that! don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. curious as to what is next? here is my wips list! i hope you all enjoy! ‹3

tags (open): @sstarryoong ; @septicrebel ; @bbujiikseu ; @cixrosie ; @alyszaen ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer

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choccy-milky · 2 days

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Clora having an adorable mother and the world's most terrifying father makes so much sense. She's inquisitive, strong, brave and scary in her own right like her dad and yet she's small, adorable, sweet and a little naive like her mom, whom she looks just like. It makes sense.

Which means that Sebastian is in for it big time when they're older and it's time to ask for her hand. It's the 1800's, the late 1800's so technically he doesn't have to, Clora says, but Sebastian has met Clive and he knows that if he marries Clora and doesn't ask before hand for her fathers blessing that he might go mysteriously missing or be hit by a curse that causes erectile dysfunction. Which is so much worse.

Doesn't stop him from having a few nervous breakdowns, hyperventilating just a little bit, crying to Ominis that he thinks it's coming, the tea cup with the grimm truly was an omen and his time has come to die.

But, of course, when he asks Clive all he is met with is a long silent stare.

"My daughter has already informed me of your future nuptials. I don't understand why you're here."

Clive knows he doesn't need anyone asking for permission to marry his darling daughter, she's just like him she can definitely take care of herself. Also, I bet he's nicer than he lets on, his wife is the one to actually watch out for.

Sebastian: Your parents live on being contrary.

Clora: ???

He understands this, knows this and gets that his wife is exactly like her parents and that maybe he has bit off more than he could chew.

Ominis: You willingly married into this family. You've no one to blame but yourself.

Sebastian: I know. *puts down newspaper where his wife is on the front cover for taking out a ring of deadly dark wizards singlehandedly, proving just how dangerous Clora can be* I love her so much.

OMG???😭🥹💖💖I LOVED READING THIS!!! THANK YOU FOR WRITING AND SENDING ALL OF THAT AND PUTTING SO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THE CHARACTERS....😭you are so right, clora really is a combo of her parents just in different ways (and its also cracking me up, now that seb has met her dad, that he'll start to recognize clora's "clive mode" when she gets stubborn and serious and puts her foot down HAHA like omg...this is the same sort of feeling i get when her father stares me down...) AN ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION CURSE LMAOOO but youre also so right in that for as overprotective and 1890s as clive is and despite the way he tests seb, he also values clora + her judgement + her happiness, and as long as clora doesnt pick anyone who he actually deems to be a bad person, clive wouldnt feel the need to give his approval (even if seb THINKS he should get it/needs to get it) CLIVE IS A FEMINIST!!! and indeed also much nicer than he lets on🫠 (the only thing is that seb would have been WITH clora taking down that deadly ring of dark wizards. his overprotective ass may know shes capable but that doesnt change the fact that he protects her/treats her as if she isnt BAHHA he cant help it💕)

#seb also has clora-related ptsd from her always getting kidnapped/put in danger at this point LOL. poor seb dating the MC #he 100% even as adults still gets nightmares of when she was taken by ranrok/how she looked when he found her/if he hadnt found her #ask #also if that erectile dysfunction curse exists seb would 100% want to learn it for reasons LMFAOO #here clora wear this amulet #itll give every man (whos not me) erectile dysfunction when theyre near you LMFAOOO IM DEAD that would be so sane of him😍

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agendercreature · 5 months

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Alright so for anyone who cares: Today was a big day for me. I presented femme for the first time at work in front of people whove known me for months and sometimes years. And it went amazing. 99% of people didnt care. One of my coworkers said i look nice and the rest didnt acknowledge it. One of them laughed at me for a split second but i think he was sorry immediatly after. One customer said hes jealous of me because he wouldnt be able to wear that at work. So overall a great day :3. Maybe living my life the way i want to isnt such a fantasy after all. Its not nearly as scary as i thought itd be. AND I FELT CUTE AS HELL. We have so many mirrors at work and the rush of happiness i felt every time i accidentally looked at myself was amazing :3. I dont really mind wearing "boy" clothes but ive never felt so pretty in them as i do with "girl" clothes. Im definitely gonna be more open in the future :3

#196 #trans

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stevie-petey · 3 months

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How about Steve and bug talking about what they think their future is gonna be like? When he comes and visits her at work and they just talk about random stuff. He just says something off handedly like " I hope my kids read like you do, I want them to be booksmart like you." " Do you wanna have kids?"

" oh yeah definitely I want six."

"Six?! I could probably only handle three, if my kids are anything like me they'll be leash kids I'm serious."

And it's just sweet, them talking about how they hope their life to be, not knowing that they're each other's future.

oooo YES !!!

enjoy <3

"how many kids would you want? ya know, assuming you actually do want kids in the future."

steves question causes you to drop the change youd been counting at the register. "im sorry, what?"

"kids?" he sees your bewilderment and frowns. "what, youve never thought about your future?"

"i mean, sure? but i havent given any thought about kids. im sixteen, steve."

"and im seventeen and know for a fact that i want my kids to be booksmart like you." steve responds, not even paying that much attention to you as he busies himself with a comic.

you stare at him in shock. god, steve harrington really does just say the most bizarre things so casually. hes thought about his kids? and about how he wants them to be like you?

sometimes, you really hate that he does this. because then he just leaves you there, always standing in shock, as he goes about his day as if this is all normal.

you take a deep breath and shake your head, you have a job to do. dimes and nickels need to be attended to. "can i ask what sparked this insane thought?"

steve holds up the comic hes reading. "see, these i like. but those books about war and peace? no thanks. but... i dont know. guess theyd be good for my kids, seeing as they made you so smart."

you laugh. "im not the genius you think i am. i still think spider-man is real."

"youre like, the top of your class. shush."

"so sassy for a man who daydreams about having kids." you tease, but something shifts behind steves eyes.

"it is weird, isnt it?" he ducks his head down. "sorry."

well, now you feel bad. sighing, you drop the change in your hand and walk over to steve. sure, its a bit weird, but also incredibly sweet that he already seems to know how he'll raise his kids in the future.

you sit next to him and pluck the comic out of his hands. "so, tell me. how many kids we talking?"

a smile returns to steves face. "definitely, like, six."

"six?" you choke on your spit. "and who is birthing these six fucking children?"

a pause, then a frown. "hm. ya know, i never thought about that."

"bless you," you pat steves knee and he laughs. "i think id like three or so. maybe more, but definitely at least three. i love having a sibling, and i love taking care of dustin and his friends. ive already got years of experience."

"three? weak. do better, y/n." steve pokes your side.

you slap his hand away. "hey, i know im a handful. so is dustin. with my luck, my children will be little mini dustins and that... is a very scary thought."

"im an only child-"

"shocking!"

"anyways, its lonely. so im having as many kids as i possibly can. itd be fun, and id take them out to play baseball and go to parks and build forts and-"

"read them bedtime stories so they become booksmart?"

steve snaps his fingers and smiles. "exactly! you get me, y/n."

you giggle. "i try."

and for the last hour of your shift, you and steve debate the hypotheticals of your futures. steve remains adamant that he becomes a housewife, and you declare that if even one of your kids turns out like dustin, then youre sending them to live with him.

its a good day.

#ask #anon #come home blurb #m's writing #m speaks #set in between seasons 1 and 2 #i love u steve and bug

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suenitos · 8 months

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you ever think about how dnf have known each other most intimately with just their voices and still loved each other while separated by an ocean and there will come a time in the future when dnf will have known each other's bodies and voices for more time than just their voices and its not really making up for lost time per se but getting to know each other in a different way and isnt that all what commitment is really its just a promise to constantly explore loving each other in different ways and discovering new things and its exhilarating but scary but never boring even when you fall deeper into the comfort of being with another person physically emotionally and mentally

#sorry.

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fiyaa-xoxo · 2 years

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I love your child Riddle story, so I would like to request a child Malleus please.

Malleus has turned into a child , now y/n has to take care of him

Yay!! my very first request, tysm @jazzybug163 for requesting something! I gave this fanfic a little twist so i hope its alright ^^.And some things dont make any sense(i'm truly really sorry about that) This isnt my best work, my riddle one was better but i hope you guys like this one too. Also the fic is quite long so i hope its alright!

TW! Slipping something into someones drink, drgs dealing (it was mentioned as a joke)

Malleus Draconia

✧˚ · . You must be wondering how the future king of the valley of thorns, one of the most powerful mages in the world turned into a child. Well... he didn't really turned into a child, Lilia missed taking cared of child Malleus so he used a very very powerful potion with from the Queen of the valley of thorns (Malleus's grandmother). Lilia put the potion in a drink you made for Malleus.

✧˚ · .You and Malleus were talking and drinking a smoothie you made outside the gate of Ramshackle. While Malleus's 3 retainers were hiding in a bush near you for different reasons ( Sebek wanted to make sure you didn't they anything to his young master. Lilia wanted to see if the potion he put in Malleus's drink worked. And Silver wanted to check on his young master and he got dragged by Lilia to join) As Malleus took a sip of drink Green smoke surrounded and circled the Dragon fae. Out of panic you and Sebek ( who jumped out of the bush) shouted Malleus's name. As the smoke cleared the Dragon Fae was gone! Sebek, you, and now a fully awake Silver was panicking trying to find him

✧˚ · . You stoped panicking when you felt someone tug your sleeve. As you looked down you saw a small child that looked like Malleus. "The potion worked as a charm!" said the bat Fae floating " Wait what potion?" asked Silver "I added a potion into malleus's drink that turned someone young again. I missed young Malleus so i wanted to see his young self again" Lilia said. "WITH ALL DUE RESPECT MASTER LILIA, BUT THAT WASNT A VALID REASON TO MAKE THE FUTURE KING A KID AGAIN SIR" shouted Sebek "WHAT ABOUT IMPORTANT THE MEETING MALLEUS-SAMA WAS GOING TO ATTEND!?". Sebek and Silver talked Lilia into turning Malleus back and finally they did. Lilia and the 2 knights had to go to the Royale Palace back in Malleus kingdom so in the mean time your taking care of Him. ( Sebek didnt like that Idea at all but since it was Lilia's idea he didnt get a saying in it)

✧˚ · . Malleus got turned back into his 10 year old self . The whole time the 3 of them talked about turning Malleus back. He was next to you looking at his Retainers, Malleus for some reason remembers Sebek, Silver, Lilia, and you but anything else after turning 10 he dosent remember.

✧˚ · . Malleus is a very quiet, shy, and soft spoken child, he was quite shy when you were taking care of him. But soon after some time Child Malleus grew fond of you. He woulnd't let go of you, he'd get jealous if grim tried getting your affection or even just being near you. Lets just say malleus has gotten very attached to you (as you know dragons are very territorial when it comes to their treasures). The timed you spent with Malleus was short but you saw many things that Normal Malleus didn't show you. His cute and soft side, Malleus didnt look scary at all (well he never did to us but yk he looked more cute ig)

✧˚ · .When the 3 came back and got the potion to return him you kinda didn't want to turn Malleus back. But you know you had to or else the people of the valley of thorns have to wait another 10,000 years for a new ruler. When Malleus turned back he didn't know what happened. So you had to tell him everything, after you told him that was the first time you saw Malleus flustered. But he soon found it quite funny.

Bonus part:

✧˚ · . At the late hours of the night your were dressed in a long coat, a big hat and sun glasses hiding behind ramshackle like some drg dealer. Lilia approached you dressed in the same attire "Do you have what i need?" "yes i do Lilia" you said handing him a folder full of.... Malleus's pictures you took when he got turned into a child!! "Thank you very much Y/N i finally got more baby pictures of Malleus and black mail 😈" after he said that he disappeared

Requests are open!! ^^

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#disney twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst reader insert #twst x reader #twst #disney twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #sebek zigvolt #lilia vanrouge #silver twst #malleus x reader #twst imagines #twisted wonderland imagine #twst fanfic #malleus draconia fluff #malleus draconia imagine #twisted wonderland headcanons

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