DO YOU KNOW HOW BADLY I WANNA FUCKING SUCK DICK BRO?????? GODDDDDD SOMEONE LET ME GIVE THEM SOME SLOPPY AND DRINK THEIR CUM BROOOO I HATE IT HERE
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this summer...
everyone's favorite knight...
is coming to the big screen
*cuts to Ganondorf voiced by Steve Carell* What a bummer!
*Ke$ha starts playing* WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE IM P DIDDY
*Link wakes up giddy for the moning as Zelda tells him he needs to help her save Hyrule, his alarm is still going off and he can't hear her, the camera pans to his bedroom that is decked out in posters of Korok clinging to a branch that say “hang in there” and assorted references, Zelda clears her throat loudly*
"I SAID… you are to assist me with saving Hyrule!"
Link, voiced by Jim Parsons "Well, EXCUUUSE ME Princess...”
one knight will find himself
Link "what?! the Triforce of Power?"
and maybe a Legendary Sword
Link "and that Ganondorf has it?”
but first he has to find his courage
Ganondorf: "It’s not a snuggie!"
*turns to a group of bokoblins* "does this cloak make my butt look big?”
*the bokoblins all shake their head in sync*
and the wisdom...
Zelda, voiced by Emma Roberts "all I want to do is seal Ganon but this GREEN DORK" *punches Link in the shoulder* "KEEPS GETTING DISTRACTED”
this summer is going to be
*montage of slap stick*
*Ganondorf twerking*
Link "aaawkward"
this summer is going to be...
*dance party ending montage that takes place in Castle Town and shows Ganondorf as a ghost sealed away in a cartoonist ghost cage*
*Impa doing the whip & nae nae*
"LIIIIIIIIT"
THIS SUMMER IS GOING TO BE...!
*montage of every time they say "legendary" in the movie*
LEGENDARY
The Legend of Zelda.
Link, off screen "heeey, why don't I get to be in the title?!"
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If I keep seeing people (largely Americans and Canadians, let’s be real) 1:1 compare the Israel-Palestine conflict to the colonialisation of Canada and America I might actually explode. As a First Nations woman with multiple history degrees and a law degree I can tell you with certainty that from every angle it is an utterly asinine and disingenuous comparison that doesn’t work, at all. The fact that people often cast Palestinians in the role of “poor oppressed colonised people” and Israel/Jews as a whole in the role “evil oppressive white coloniser” just makes it even worse, especially since Jews have lived in and occupied Israel before both Islam and Christianity even existed. So if you really want to play the “who was there first game” and boil everything down to that, I promise you, Jewish people will win that game, as they were there for thousands of years before the idea of Islam was even a glimmer in Muhammed’s eye.
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"you cant make out with a transmission tower what the fuck" keep suckig those megtal beamZFFZZTFZTVVZFZTZF⚡⚡⚡
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CAFFEINATED ☕️😵 ANIMATED 😼 REDSTONE INNOVATOR ⚙️✨ MY BEHAVIOR’S CRAZY 😜 🧍♂️ CAN’T FAZE ME ❌🤷♂️ IMPULSE IS NEVER LAZY 💤 TANGO WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME 😢🥺 NOW MY SCOPE 🔫 IS AIMING 💥 YOU BETTER RUN 🏃♂️ FOR COVER FROM ALL THE GHAST 👻 BALLS ⚽️ 🏈🏀 THAT I BE TAMING 😉😏 WITHOUT A SOUND 🔕🤫 WITHOUT NO HESITATION ❌ MY CREATIONS 🤖 ARE AMAZING 🤩 BETTER WATCH YOUR STEP 🪜 OR THE G-TEAM 🦜WILL WIND UP BLAZING 🥵 🔥🔥 WHO’S THE BETTER TEAM ⁉️🤨 THERE IS NO CONTROVERSY 🕴️BUT BEFORE ALL’S SAID AND DONE ✅ Y’ALL’LL BE BEGGING US FOR MERCY 😈😈😈
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JJJ: It's pride month Mr. Parker
Peter: What
Peter: Do you want me to take like
Peter: Gay pictures of Spider-Man
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can't believe the finale confirmed the greatest owl house theory ever. that hooty is the titan's tapeworm.
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Transcript:
Machine... Can I try... R-rizzing you up?
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEAASSE
*inhale*
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ᴾᴸᴱᴬˢᴱ ᴾᴸᴱᴬˢᴱ PLEAEAEAEAEASE
End transcription
Audio Source
This was requested by @blazeball THANK YOU 🫡
Also this bit at the end is foreshadowing for tomorrows post ;)
Transcript:
*gasp* HE'S PULLING HIS COCK OUT.
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