#the fandoms change but the people don't

[darkangel0410]

As someone who's been through multiple iterations of people finding out about rpf and then immediately making life worse for those of us here, I have two pieces of advice for hockey fandom in the wake of the booktok stuff:

Lock your fic if you haven't already. Regular hockey media and fans are picking up on this now so it's only a matter of time before they stumble into rpf and most of them are not going to be kind about it. Expect lots of pearl clutching and screams of disgust, and they will pull copies of fics they find to use as examples of why rpf is disgusting and bad and morally wrong. They won't bother to censor the writer's name either.

Go download your favorite fics if you haven't already. Especially Kraken fics. People will delete their fics and profiles because of this and I don't even blame them.

#it's also going to end up being a misogynistic fucking mess before it's over #and make it even less safe for women/femme presenting people and queer fans #jfc what a mess #that's hockey baby #the fandoms change but the people don't

[anneapocalypse]

So, just curious how many writers and creators will have to be forcibly outed by relentless harassment before we acknowledge that "This queer characters was written by a cishet person and that's why they're bad" is not good criticism.

#yes i'm just going to come out and say it i'm talking about sera #not exclusively but i am talking about her #'but her writer actually iS A--' you don't know that! it doesn't matter! and i don't care! #just say that you do not like the character. #people will reblog posts about the latest actor or YA author or whatever getting forced out of the closet and be like #'wow. :( that's terrible.' #and then GO RIGHT BACK TO DOING IT #when are we going to learn #when are we going to stop doing this BEFORE somebody is forcibly outed #because in practical terms #that means you have to be okay with queer characters being written by straight people. #you have to stop weaponizing that against writers you don't like. #you have to be willing to critique the writing on its own merits #without using the writer's (assumed) identity to prop up your arguments #that's how it works #but who wants to actually change the way they talk about media #when tearing apart people's identities for clout is far more entertaining. #gwaren exports #fandom problems #fandom critical

[redysetdare]

All this aroace character shipcourse has proven to me that a majority of people that interact in fandom cannot actually interact with characters and media outside of shipping and genuinely I believe you need to learn how to interact with media outside of shipping.

#text #fandom #aro #ace #aroace #aromantic #asexual #this became extremely obvious with Encanto - where the main message of the movie was ignored #and people were so desperate for shipping they started shipping background characters or even the family members....eugh #like at some point you must understand your inability to interact with media outside of a narrow romantic scope is an actual problem #at some point you need to accept you don't ACTUALLY like the media you're interacting with #like genuinely can you say anything else that you like about a piece of media besides the fact you want two characters to kiss? #genuinely i do believe the way some of you interact with things needs to change because it's made fandom spaces literally unbearable #also it has severely limited some of your guy's critical thinking skills #if you want content based around shipping then look at the romance genre it's literally right there for this very reason #shipping just needs to stop dominating fandom discussions and interactions. shipping should not be the main focus of every genre ever ffs #that or y'all need to literally start tagging your shit so that people can actually block it out and find the posts that they want to see

[artlefty]

MMMMMMMMM GOOD THINGS ARE BEING SAID.

Martin consistently stutters, consistently allows himself to build up to a point where his frustrations have nowhere to go other than an abrupt spurt of anger that can almost seem out of character to him in the beginning but are, in fact, intrinsically linked to who he is as a person. He sidesteps his own comfort in favour of others' and expresses his feelings in providing for those he cares about. Simple gestures, like a cup of tea. And later (avoiding spoilers) Bigger Gestures.

Martin has convinced himself he does not matter and attempts to make himself small as a result. Be kind, be gentle and offer comfort to those around him in an attempt to convince them to let him stay. Historically he's been an emotional punching bag for others. His mother, then Jon- you can assume later Lukas too (though in a very different manner).

It's not until much later he starts expressing himself in more honest ways (i.e. post Lonely). He admits his faults and asks for things. Allows his anger and frustration to bubble up organically. Isn't as afraid to express these things as now he's confidant he won't be left in the dirt as a result of taking up space. "I am Martin Blackwood and I am not lonely anymore."

English tea is the most inoffensive thing to offer someone as a source of comfort. The smallest and most effective way to provide in a workspace that he has very little idea to what he's doing in thanks to fudging the records to get in in the first place. The mugs may as well have "Please keep me, I'm helping, see?" written on them. So yes. Yes and Thank you.

#my legacy is just going to be talking about tea in the tma fandom #i think it's the fact that it being simple black tea is IMPORTANT and people from other countries don't understand that messing -- #--with that simplicity changes the whole tone and point to what he's doing #icannotescape #tma #the magnus archives #martin blackwood

[ohhgingersnaps]

I'm seeing some frustration over fandom creatives expressing anger or distress over people feeding their work into ChatGPT. I'm not responding to OP directly because I don't want to derail their post (their intent was to provide perspective on how these models actually work, and reduce undue panic, which is all coming from a good place!), but reassurances that the addition of our work will have a negligible impact on the model (which is true at this point) does kind of miss the point? Speaking for myself, my distress is less about the practical ramifications of feeding my fic into ChatGPT, and more about the principle of someone taking my work and deliberately adding it to the dataset.

Like, I fully realize that my work is a drop in the bucket of ChatGPT's several-billion-token training set! It will not make a demonstrable practical difference in the output of the model! That doesn't change the fact that I do not want my work to be part of the set of data that the ChatGPT devs use for training.

According to their FAQ, ChatGPT can and will use user input to train itself. The terms and conditions explicitly state that they save your chats to help train and improve their models. (You can opt-out, but sharing is the default.) So if you're feeding a fic into ChatGPT, unless you've explicitly opted out, you are handing it to the ChatGPT team and giving them permission to use it for training, whether or not that was your intent.

Now, will one fic make a demonstrable difference in the output of the model? No! But as the person who spent a year and a handful of months laboring over my fic, it makes a difference to me whether my fic, specifically, is being used in the dataset. If authors are allowed to have a problem with the ChatGPT devs for scraping millions of fics without permission, they're also allowed to have a problem with folks handing their individual fics over via the chat interface.

I do want to add that if you've done this to a fic, please don't take this as me being upset with you personally! Folks are still learning new information and puzzling out what "good" vs. "bad" use is, from an ethical standpoint. (Heck, my own perspective on this is deeply based on my own subjective feelings!) And we certainly shouldn't act like one person feeding a fic into ChatGPT has the same practical negative impact, on a broad societal scale, as a team using a web crawler to scrape five billion pieces of artwork for Stable Diffusion.

The point is that fundamentally, an ethical dataset should be obtained with the consent of those providing the data. Just because it's normalized for our data to be scraped without consent doesn't make it ethical, and this is why ChatGPT gives users the option to not share data— there is actually a standardized way (robots.txt) for website servers to set policies for how bots/crawlers can interact with them, for exactly this reason— and I think fandom artists and authors are well within their rights to express a desire for opting out to be the socially-respected default within the fandom community.

#maybe this is an ice cold take but i've been meaning to go off about datasets for a while so here we are i guess #i can respect what op's frustrations were and what they were trying to get at! but also i do not want my fic in chatgpt's dataset #regardless of whether it will make a practical difference #and again i don't think the people doing this are necessarily bad actors or having a huge negative social impact #chatgpt #chat gpt #ai #fandom #negative #(possibly! i'm trying not to be!! especially because this is very feelings-based and there are many things i am not considering) #the model may not demonstrably change because of your fic. but it does have your fic now and that does matter maybe idk

[batcavescolony]

"I wish ao3 would let me-"

It probably does, you just gotta learn how to do it.

"I wanna see fics for only my opt"

Go to either fandom tag or your ships tag, (if you're doing fandom tag you have to add your ship in the 'relationship' section),go to fliters (mobile) or the right hand side (desktop), go to the 'search within results' area and put in otp:true just like that click 'sort and filter' And it'll pull up all fics with just your otp.

(EDIT: if you wanna do this but still have other parings try otp:false instead of otp:true)

"I wanna sort by _____ not 'Date updated'"

Go to 'filters' or right, theirs a drop down and you can change it to 'author' 'title' 'date posted' ect their are more options. Pick one, click 'sort and filter'

"I don't wanna see /reader"

Filter or Right, go to 'search within results' type in -/reader like that, click 'sort and filter'. No more /reader

"I don't want explicit works"

You know where we're going Right or filter. 'Exclude' section. 'Ratings' click the box that says 'explicit'

Obviously if people don't tag shit correctly it's not gonna work but yeah you just gotta learn how the tagging works. For better tutorials go to TikTok and search 'ao3 tutorials' you can do just about everything.

#ao3 #fanfic #like you can change 99% of the site to fit you. #i have ao3 link made into a icon on my phone that goes to a version of a fandom tag thats got all the ships and shit i dont like excluded #archive of our own #like the people who hate ao3s tagging system and the people who don't wanna learn ao3s tagging system is a circle #theirs a learning curve my friend and onece you have a bit of knowledge you can do anything #knowledge is power #fandom #fanfic readers #its 2am go be free use ao3 #you dont pop out the woomb with all knowledge you gotta learn sometime. same goes for this. go find a teacher (not me) to teach you. #you have leaned addition subtraction division grammer spelling and you can learn this too. go learn. #you can do dark mode. you can make the cite purple. you can add cows. you can change y/n to your name. you just gotta learn

[kastalani123]

There's something about the idea that gods change according to belief.

There's something about Aphrodite having to drop her sword and shield and pick up a makeup brush and mirror.

There's something about Zeus's Crown overtaking his hospitality.

There's something about Ares being scrubbed of his care with blood.

There's something about Hera's care being thrown in her face because of her cruelty.

There's something about Dionysus having his artistry and wildness ripped away from him due to his partying.

There's something about Hermes losing his chthonic connections in favour of his trickery.

There's something about Demeter surrendering her fierce, protective love and power over life and death to become a hysterical mother.

There's something about Athena's femininity and protectiveness fading to make her grip her spear and grasp her thoughts tighter.

There's something about Hephaestus forgetting his creations' finesse and intricacy to focus on pure function and efficiency.

There's something about Poseidon's earth-shaking rage that causes waves to rise above the tallest mountains being reduced to occasional vengefulness.

There's something about Apollo giving up his herds and truth and wisdom and plagues to speak the future and heal the wounded through song.

There's something about Artemis turning from children and childbirth to fixate on the wilderness.

There's something about the idea that gods change according to belief.

#pjo #rick riordan #hoo #pjo hoo toa #pjo aphrodite #pjo ares #pjo fandom #pjo hephaestus #pjo series #pjoverse #hera pjo #zeus pjo #pjo apollo #apollo pjo #artemis pjo #hermes pjo #dionysus pjo #demeter pjo #athena pjo #poseidon pjo #I mean this specifically in terms of pjo bc that's what I know #but ig it could probably work for general popular belief if you want it to #gods change constantly #especially gods that don't have a singular text they're meant to conform to #something something they can only change if the people will them to #pjo gods

[zarla-s]

#i have tons of fanart saved from all kinds of fandoms in tons of folders on my computer #am i alone in this? i'm curious #i've been doing it for as long as i can remember #i have fanart that disappeared like decades ago #buried in people's personal fansites that got swept away by the tides of time #i don't save fic so much though but i'm trying to change that #things disappear! save your own copies!

[revvethasmythh]

it's so funny to me that caleb and veth really did just trade off the job of intensely pining for the other at like the halfway point of the campaign. like, imo, nott in the early days did not behave in any real romantic or even romance-adjacent ways toward him--I imagine it would be very hard to even think in that way when you hate what you look like so much, have such low self-esteem, and are actively lying about your entire past, including a secret husband. caleb, on the other hand, is kind of diving directly back into the sort of relationship he had with astrid and eadwulf. very close, very intimate, we-huddled-for-warmth-together-and-oops-it-led-to-something-else sort of thing. he is the one who expresses that he's fine with it if people think he and nott are romantically together when they're talking to keg. nott is the one who pushes back on that. he calls her his life partner. unknowingly, he compares his feelings for nott to nott's feelings for yeza. his behavior only really starts to change after he finds out about veth's husband because suddenly all of that other stuff is rendered inappropriate in retrospect. but even then he compliments her to yeza over dinner in the most awkward of ways, he admits to being jealous, he calls yeza "a lucky man" to have her, he stares at veth and yeza closed bedroom door for far too long, he creates an entire arcane tower with room for her family just so she'll stay with him. in general, his behavior is not, um, totally and completely platonic about it, you know?

like, veth's feelings for caleb are canonical and therefore indisputable in their existence, but caleb in the early days was not that dissimilar to how veth was acting near the end of the campaign. it really paints a picture of "right person, wrong time" in the way things just didn't line up for them. or, as veth would say: "in another world, maybe"

#i am actually thinking about this because my widobrave 2 poll had so many moments on it that caleb initiated #and i often see it remarked that people think widobrave is entirely one-sided and caleb only treats her as platonic or familial #which. my real answer is that it's just complicated and i don't think he'd ever admit to any romantic feelings being there #but i also. uh. i wouldn't call it platonic or familial. there is some holy fourth dimension that this relationship exists in istg #impossible to explain but it is NOT entirely platonic nor all that familial imo as it stands in canon #this is like. ONE piece of the meta I was trying to figure out how to phrase earlier today. bottom line of it was: #I don't think the caleb/veth romance is entirely one-sided but also it is so so complicated #their relationship changes SO many times. SO much. that's why it's so frustrating that fandom is stuck in episode 13 re: their dynamic #SO MUCH ABOUT THE DYNAMIC CHANGES AFTER EPISODE 13 #even sam reigel himself on talks said there was no reason their relationship wouldn't change/evolve after that #and it did change! it really really did! #widobrave #the mighty nein #caleb widogast #veth brenatto #critical role #inaugurating the new url with a widobrave post. as it should be

[iwasbored777]

I think Branch has abandonment issues because of everything he went through and Poppy knows this.

Yes, both are true and I HAVE to talk about Poppy's behaviour in Trolls Band Together more cuz she doesn't get enough appreciation for her character development and for how much she loves her boyfriend.

At the beginning of the movie she wants him to give his brothers a second chance because she wants him to be with his family. He's not happy about it at first but later he is and she's super happy because she thinks everything is perfect just like he thought.

Until it wasn't. When they both learn at the same time that his brothers don't want to see each other again after rescuing Floyd he leaves and she realizes that this means to him way more than it means to them so she doesn't waste time arguing with them (Branch already did that) and she goes with Branch. She loves him, she doesn't need her favourite boy band to reunite anymore, her priority is making her boyfriend happy again and that can only be accomplished by saving Floyd. But when she finds Branch again he is cold because he's hurt and he doesn't want her help because he thinks that she will abandon him too just like they did. I can only imagine how much it hurt her when he said that, she thought that he believes her that she loves him because she really does. She was already betrayed by a guy she cared about in the past (remember Creek? Ugh I hate him). But instead of focusing on her feelings she's focusing on his because he needs reassurance now more than she does. She trusts Branch, she loves him, she knows he loves her and she tells him that she's with him and reminds him that they've always been there for each other.

She even put his feelings before her sister, when she had to choose. No one's saying that she would never come back to find Viva after the mission is done but she came here to help Branch and that's what she's gonna do above all.

Yes, Branch is an amazing boyfriend, and I'm so thankful that the writers made him this way. I'm not saying that he doesn't deserve the praise he gets, he really does. But I'm saying that Poppy deserves more praise in general. She's so amazing and so underrated.

#I see too many people criticise her when the entire point of the first movie was both poppy and branch learning to find the balance & change #and their characters just keep developing in every movie as they go #which is so great #you can spot so much character development #i mean i know female characters don't get that much sympathy or approval and every fandom is like this #but that's why im here im not shy when i love something or someone and love her so much #trolls poppy #trolls branch #poppy #branch #broppy #trolls band together #trolls 3 #movie analysis #character analysis #ask and answer

[somewhereincairparavel]

The fandom's bias and tendency to wanting to agressively associate EVERYTHING with Percy and getting upset when a character isn't associated with him really taints their view on actually significant relationships, and it ruins Percy's canon character tbh.

I came across a video edit appreciating Jason and Nico's friendship, and the comments were just filled with people raging on how Percy should've been included instead of Jason because he was "much closer friends" to Nico than Jason was. It's appalling how much ppl can turn to a blind eye when it comes to Jason.

People hate Jason SO much in this fandom that they literally refuse to admit that Nico canonically considered Jason as his first ever friend, not Percy (this is literally said in Tower of Nero, by the way)

My perspective on Percy and Nico is that, they were never really "close" to begin with and never ended up being close either, and that's okay. Percy tried his very best to be a brother to Nico, but they somehow always had tension with eachother because of Nico's internal turmoil of idolizing and crushing on Percy whilst simultaneously associating him with Bianca.

Sure, they talked it out a little in the end, but I'd like to think that some tension would always be there, because they started off at the wrong foot, and there was too much bitterness and resentment to come in their dynamic. And them never actually being close "brothers" makes their dynamic very significant and authentic. In the end, Nico acknowledged that Percy was a good person, and I like to think that's the farthest they've ever gone in their dynamic. They both are on amicable terms but the awkwardness still being there is very realistic, the weight of Bianca's death would always be associated with Percy to Nico, and it's neither of their faults.

Percy doesn't have to be close with everyone just because he's the main character, it really deprives him of actually meaningful connections. The fandom forcing him to be buddy buddy with everyone simply because they HAVE to associate Percy with anyone and everyone, and getting angry that Jason is closer to Nico than Percy is, is just really weird.

Why do people feel SO threatened about Jason all the time that they have to get all defensive and suppress his connections by dragging Percy into videos that doesn't even have to do anything with him? I swear y'all are creating this whole Jason/Percy rivalry thing because you cannot bear to see someone rival Percy, and you want Percy to be the only powerful/good person in the books.

Let other characters befriend eachother without trying to insert Percy in there all the time.

Percy and Nico would never be like Reyna and Nico, or Jason and Nico, and that's completely fine. I like them better that way. You can't be best friends with everyone. That's just how life works.

#I hope people don't come at me for this #Some parts of the Percy fanbase can be scarily defensive and aggressive so I won't be surprised if I get mean comments abt this lol #but I said what I said idc. Jason is canonically Nico's closest friend. You hating jason isn't going to change the fact that it's canon. #There's literally nothing wrong with Percy not being best friend with Nico #You can agree or disagree with me but pls be respectful #pjo #pjo fandom #percy jackson #jason grace #pjo hoo #pjo series #pjo hoo toa #annabeth chase #piper mclean #leo valdez #frank zhang #hazel levesque #nico di angelo #reyna avila ramirez arellano #reyna ramirez arellano #heroes of olympus

[darkangel0410]

this might be the best asks of all time bc our DMs are nothing but hater-nation and we are ultimately the correct ones. SOOOOO; 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 12, 16, 18, 19, 24 - i had to ask so many bc your opinions are my FAV lmaooooo but feel free to *not* answer any you dont want!

We ARE always the correct ones - eventually people will realize it 🙄

the character everyone gets wrong

Listen, I have a list of players I'm going to take away from fandom because of crimes of mischaracterization and the list includes, but is not limited to: Matthew (Tkachuk), Jack (Eichel), Trevor, Jamie. Sometimes I swear people haven't ever spoken to a real live boy when they write the convos these guys have in fic

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

I'll be strong and not turn this into an opportunity for my bottom!Jamie agenda, and instead say: Jack Eichel isn't a top - he wants to be fucked often and well, and would also like a few smacks on the ass before and after, thanks. He won't hesitate to tell whoever's fucking him what they're doing wrong, either.

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

THERE ARE SO MANY WRONG TAKES ON HERE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE???? but easily the worst take I see on any given day is every single take about Matt (Tkachuk) and how his dad hates him and how he needs a fake gf because his dad's is ASHAMED of him or whatever the fuck people have decided is the new hot trauma to put him through - they've turned Matt into the fandom crier and I hate it with every fiber of my being

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

for me, personally, it's any x reader/ yn or whatever writer who doesn't put their shit behind a read more (Also Nolan Moyle is not a dom, like come the fuck on people)

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Crosby, full stop. I cannot stand the way fandom is with him and I can't even watch him play hockey and enjoy it any more

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

The Knights. Just. The whole roster lmaooo

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Rule 63, full stop. I don't get why people write it, why they never put in any actual character work into it when they do, and it gives me homophobic vibes (like in general, as a trope, not a specific fic). Like you change everything about someone, and the way the world sees them, the way it interacts with them, and I'm supposed to believe that every single thing happens exactly the same???? Pull the other leg, it has bells on

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

Alex Turcotte, My Beloved - truly he's so pretty and sweet and plays good hockey and is just someone fandom needs to pay more attention to

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

I don't do shame, but I do find it kind of funny how much I love a/b/o now because I used to absolutely hate it when it first showed up lmaooo

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

Censorship, 1000% because besides being gross on it's own, it's always dragging purity wank in with it and I've seen so much of that shit, I hate it

*

Thanks for asking bestie!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ (choose violence ask game)

#q & a #hard4softthings #meme #that's hockey baby #the fandoms change but the people don't

[that-angry-noldo]

the comments under tma episodes annoy me so much sometimes ngl. "nobody trusts jon" "everybody hates jon for things he didn't do" "jon is trying to be better and everyone just cuts him off :(" yeah it's almost like the characters were put through extreme traumatic events, environment where they can die any minute to some horrible awful power, and have been methodically stripped of trust and safety. god damn why can't people treat basira and melanie with the same amount of empathy they treated jon back in season 2

#jonathan sims #basira hussain #melanie king #the magnus archives #tma #jon: has a traumatic event which leaves him paranoid and leads to him stalking people pushing people away etc #the fandom: oh no poor baby he needs therapy and a nap #melanie and basira: experience traumatic event that leads to them being angry and mistrusting and are changing in ways they don't want to #fandom: ew they're so mean someone needs to stand up to them

[littleolfandomblog]

when i started reading aftg fanfics, i was genuinely so startled that everyone wrote Aaron as homophobic. Like it had never even crossed my mind for him to be homophobic. I always interpreted Aaron as very younger-sibling-esque and he thought Andrew and Neil's relationship was gross bc

a) my brother is kissing someone?? Gross!!

b) neil isn't trustworthy and their relationship came on at a really vulnerable time for andrew

c) andrew so obviously loves neil and he's never loved me like that

#i'm so afraid that people are going to accuse me of being an aaron apologist #i didn't even know aaron apologists were a thing until i stated engaging with fandom culture #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg #andrew minyard #twinyards #aaron minyard #aaron apologist #fandom culture #kenzie's hc #please dont block me i have cool things to say and i really don't feel strongly about this at all #like please change my mind id love to hear you out :)

[is-the-fire-real]

Another bit on the pro-Pal fandom, this one axiomatic

Being a good person is not the same thing as pretending as though you believe you are a good person.

Being a good person takes work. You have to do stuff. Doing stuff is hard. Doing good stuff is harder, because you have to put thought into determining what you think is good beforehand. That requires self-reflection, honesty, a willingness to challenge oneself, and taking in information from other people to verify that your concept of "good" is, well, good.

The nice part is that once you evaluate what is good and start doing good things, it becomes easier. You gain inner calm, peace, and even joy.

("Good" is not always the same as "necessary". Necessary work can be a slog, or it can be horrific. But there can still be a calming satisfaction at the core, the security that this is necessary and therefore worthwhile.)

Pretending to believe you are a good person takes less immediate work. You don't have to do anything that positively impacts the real world, and you don't have to do any of that annoying, time-consuming self examination. But in the long run, it's more exhausting. By far.

You are insecure about whether or not you are a good person. You're pretending to believe you are good. You can't feel secure in something you pretend to believe. That insecurity gnaws at you, especially when you engage in bad behavior--harassment, doxxing, posting gore, swarming tags, encouraging and promoting suicide among your fellow "activists", telling your opponents to kill themselves, stalking, spamming unrelated content with literal Nazi propaganda.

None of those are good things good people do. And you understand that. You would think someone was bad if they did those things to you. The cognitive dissonance between who you want to be and who you really are, as determined by your actions, is scary. It's painful. It rears up every time someone you have labeled a Zio colonizer scumbag asks you to please just stop and you remember a time when you begged someone--an abuser, a troll online, a 4channer, your parents--to just stop please just leave me alone.

That must feel terrifying, and again, it makes you insecure. It makes you question if you're doing the right thing.

So you do the work to pretend to believe you are good. And that's far more work than goes into being good.

You recruit others, and all of you agree that you will pretend together. Tabletop gaming has taught us how powerful this imaginative play can be. You all reassure each other that you are good and you are right. But since you're all lying to each other, that means you must spend more, and more, and more time every day telling each other that you are good, chasing that high, that feeling that you are a good person and your actions are justified.

You tell each other that your "opponents" in this "battle" are not people, so anything you say or do to and about them is okay. You look at lists of "dehumanizing tactics" and instead of internalizing what those lists are teaching you, you go: "Ah, so if I don't use the word 'vermin', anything I say should be fine!" And then you say it.

You do not smile over good news. You only smile when one of your opponents logs off Tumblr because you made the site unusable and unsafe for them. (The expression you make there isn't really a smile, but we'll call it that, since the corners of your mouth do turn upward.) You tell yourself you're just attacking Zionists and pretend you do not see how you're really going after Jews.

No self-examination; that would mean admitting that you're lying to yourself and others. Instead, you traumatize and exhaust yourself until you're psychologically incapable of self-examination. You watch snuff films. You stare at mangled bodies until you're weeping and physically ill (certainly, you're too ill to check whether the video is real, or if it was taken from this conflict).

You force your beliefs into your fandom spaces so that others, the bad people, cannot escape their complicity in genocide.

But more importantly, you do that so you can't escape.

You cannot engage in any fandom but the pro-Pal fandom because that takes imaginative energy away from your biggest pretense--that you're a good person.

You are NOT hurting people because you are striking a blow for Palestinians. You are hurting people, including yourself, because you do not want to do the work of becoming a good person. You are afraid that self examination, at this point, will reveal to you that you are exactly the sort of person you believe you are fighting.

That fear, that insecurity, that dread, that restless sense that if you ever rest or stop or think for just a moment, you'll discover something awful? That's your conscience.

I do not ask you to change your mind about your political opponents. Your defenses are already on your lips and in your mind; a thousand How Dare Yous for me hinting that you look at other people as people. What I will ask you is to consider this.

I came to young adulthood just as Bush was elected, and the Iraq War post-9/11 was the first war I really followed as an adult. I did what you're doing now. I forced myself to look at photographs of destroyed bodies. I looked at photographs of torture perpetrated by US soldiers. I blogged about it obsessively.

I told myself that I was Doing My Part to end the war. But really, it's that the anxiety of being an American during the war made me insecure over whether or not I was responsible for all of this, and therefore, a bad person. If I pretended my looking at snuff photos was activism, and that it was good, then I could pretend to believe I was good and shout "Not in my name" at protests. I could deny my responsibility.

What I really did was traumatize myself. It's been almost twenty years. I can still see some of those torture pictures in my head. In the end, that is the extent of the impact of my online activism. The blogs are all long deleted, and nobody remembers them.

Only my trauma remains.

I do not want this for you. I want you to be wiser. There is still time. You can stop.

Stop hurting yourself and other people. Do the hard work. Examine yourself and your actions. Consider what your own heart is trying to tell you whenever you start to get the shakes and your throat gets tight. Do not take that feeling out on random people online because they have a Magen David in their pfp.

Once you have done the hard work, it gets easier. You will be able to advocate and work for whatever causes you believe in because you know they are good, not because you're joining your friends in cosplaying goodness. You will still be traumatized, and you will still be sad, and you'll definitely still get angry. You will have to face how you've acted exactly like your own past abusers, and that's a real tough row to hoe.

But at the end, you will be able to advocate and work because you want to, instead of feeling as though you must in order to keep up the masquerade.

#free gaza #free palestine #palestine #politics as fandom #suicide #torture #trauma #worse than slacktivism #abuse #is-the-fire-real original #g-d damn it you've got to be kind #i understand you won't listen to this. it's okay if you don't #i may have addressed “you” but i was soothing my own conscience #because i think it's a good thing to tell people to stop harming themselves and others #and it's not my responsibility to change your behavior #it's yours #i'm also not addressing your antisemitic actions #not because you aren't doing that #but because that is between you and your dark night of the soul

[spywhitney]

How I sleep knowing I'll never trust anyone that hates Sydney but worships Richie:

#the bear #the bear fx #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #richie jerimovich #jk kind of #well on days I don't see or think about Sydney haters #under every damn comment section in this fandom is someone saying Sydney didn't take accountability #like I know we all have our biases but yall are really shameless about it #Sydney scored A LOT of Ws for The Beef AND The Bear #but one time she makes a mistake and justifiably walks away from a toxic work environment she's the devil #Richie worked at The Beef for years and Sydney did more for it in what less than four months than he did #on top of being a prick to Sydney in particular because she was changing things he wanted to keep the same #to the detriment of the restaurant but also everyone #and overall being unpleasant to Carmy #Nat and anyone that didn't find him funny or interesting or like his bs #pre-Forks Richie reminds me of those types of people that only listen to people that like them #and I love that because it's realistic to some ppl #I do like Richie #it just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth knowing there are people that hate Sydney #ignore her accomplishments only to raise up Richie #in the same breath when the actual show is showing you what's up #like you'd think there were different versions of the show with how these two are perceived #I get this weird need to defend Sydney when people shit on her because I wonder how often said people treat the Sydneys of the world #but that aside #In Fishes Richie mentions something about wasting potential at the beef #In Ceres it's implied he called the popo on the dealers after Sydney deescalated a situation Richie previously dealt with #in an unorthodox manner #he recognised he needed to change but still was an arsehole to the one person who was facilitating that change effectively Sydney #this show is great but people denying what they're seeing on their own screens is crazy