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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years

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loud mouth colson baker(mgk) x reader

+++++++++ So I had a dream about him and it's all I've been thinking about all day so here ya go, this seems to be a theme lately lol

Song: aint talking bout love by van halen

tag list: @cynic-spirit +++++++++

"Wow you really know how to make a mess don't you."

My friend said, looking around at the room piled with clothes. I picked a shirt up and tossed it at him.

"Shut up, I told you I needed to clean out my closet."

He laughed at me, folding it and putting it in top of my desk.

"You're gonns need some serious help with this."

I began plucking clothing items off my bed and folding them.

"Yeah I know, colson's coming over later and so is Bree."

I watched John pick up another shirt and fold it.

"Lucky me for getting here early."

He joked. I sent him a knowing smile.

"Hey at least Id already started, everything is out of the closet and half of it I'm getting rid of."

I said proudly. He laughed a little at me.

"Okay, please tell me you are losing this one."

He said, hopeful, holding up a very old and worn out mgk shirt. I frowned and snatched it away from him.

"Of course not, colson gave me that the first time I ever went to one of his live shows."

John crossed his arms across his chest at me. Then there was a knock at my bedroom door, drawing our attention to colson standing in the doorway.

"I hope you don't mind I let myself in, the front door was unlocked."

He said with a smile. I dropped the shirt to the bed and went in for a hug.

"Of course not, I told you you can come in any time."

He held me with one hand as he fist bumped John, letting me go a second later.

"So, this looks a little crazy."

He said finally looking around the room. I let out a nervous laugh, going back to my spot at the end of the bed.

"I know it does now but once everything is sorted it'll be a breeze to put away."

He kind of looked at me like I was crazy before stepping over some clothes and making his way to me.

"Okay, where do you want me to start?"

I looked around for a second.

"Um, John's doing shirts, I'm doing this... Wanna start folding and stacking pants?"

I asked, pointing to them. He shrugged.

"Sure."

He walked to the pile and dropped to the ground, sitting with his legs crossed as he began pulling things out.

"So, what did I miss?"

He asked, John sending me a knowing look.

"Not a whole lot."

I said condescendingly, throwing the shirt back at John.

"She won't get rid of this."

He said holding it to his chest and looking down at it. Colson laughed a little bit.

"You still have that? That merch line hasn't been around for years."

He said in wonderment. I put my hands on my hips as he kept folding and stacking.

"You gave that to me, of course I kept it. Do you even remember that night?"

I asked pointedly. He thought for a second before shrugging.

"I don't know y/n I don't remember a lot of shit."

I rolled my eyes as I went back to folding and stacking too.

"It was the first of your live shows you invited me to. When it was over you asked if I was going to that party with you. of course I said I couldnt stay too long but you said I had to anyways. We were at that dude's house till, God, it must been like four in the morning."

We both laughed at the memory. He nodded his head.

"Yeah I remember now, you were so drunk. But that one chic spilled her entire glass of wine down the front of you and it's all I had when we got back to my place."

He laughed, John looking between us with a smirk on his face. I couldn't help but think fondly of that night, even if it did go quite awry.

"Sounds like quite a night."

John mentioned, sending me another knowing look.

"It really was."

Colson stood up and placed the stack of pants on the bed next to the one I was working on.

"If I remember correctly, that was also the first time you had drank yourself into a hangover. Literally."

I cringed.

"Yeah, I was so sick that next day, I was honestly just glad you were there."

I turned to John as he sat.

"I literally couldn't walk, I was violently sick the whole day, and the headache I had was like none I've ever had in my life."

Colson laughed a little bit, nudging my arm with his elbow.

"Lucky for you I'm a great hangover doctor."

°°°°°°°°° I looked to Bree as she handed me another hanger, the guys in the other room deciding on dinner. We had been at this most of the day and I was beginning to wonder who the hell let me do this to myself. There was a mountain of clothes by my door that was all stuff I had planned to get rid of. Part of me felt refreshed but I still had to finish putting away what was left.

"Aw I remember you telling me about this one."

She said picking up the shirt we had talked about earlier. I smiled to myself as I put it on the hanger.

"Ya know we had just finished talking about that night right before you got here."

She pouted.

"So I missed the best story about you two? No fair."

She protested, sulking down into her seat. I laughed a little bit.

"As if you don't know every detail anyway."

She perked back up as she handed me another shirt hanger.

"Well yeah but I still love hearing about it. That's when it all started."

She said winking at me and I waved the shirt in my hand at her.

"That's our secret ma'am."

I said through gritted teeth and she just laughed at me.

"They aren't in here what does it matter."

She said at me.

"You just love a man Willing to take you... Oops I meant take care of you."

My eyes went wide, my mouth dropping as I playfully gasped at her.

"Excuse you! He's just a friend."

I said matter of factly and she raised an unimpressed brow at me.

"Sure he is. It's not like you two don't flirt relentlessly at each other all the time or anything."

I rolled my eyes as I finished hanging the last few things up.

"What about it? Friends flirt with each other all the time."

"Really?"

She said flatly. Then John came in the room, colson hot on his heels.

"Pizza."

Was all he said. Bree and I looked between them.

"Okay?"

I asked and he held the phone out to me.

"Holy shit."

I said taking it from him.

"Do we really need all this food for just the four of us?"

Colson stepped to me and took the phone back.

"Come on y/n, if we're staying the night like you planned you know it's gonna get eaten."

I sighed.

"You buying?"

He grinned widely at me.

"Yes ma'am."

I caved.

"Fine."

"Yes!"

He said giving John a high five and finishing the order. I shook my head.

"You two are ridiculous."

Colson grinned widely at me.

"Yeah, ridiculously hungry."

I laughed.

"You should put that in a song loser."

He handed the phone back to John, him walking back out into the hallway.

"Ooo wait! Are you getting barbeque?!"

Bree yelled, following him quickly. I laughed to myself as I pushed my clothes around in the closet, making sure everything was in its right place. Colson draped his arm over my shoulder, admiring my work.

"I'm proud of us."

He said.

"We got a lot done today."

I nodded against him, bringing my arm around his waist.

"Yes we did, and thanks again, it really means a lot. I definitely needed the help."

I said smiling up at him. He was already staring down at me. I let out a nervous laugh.

"What?"

He grinned widely.

"I wasn't gonna say anything, but Bree is kind of loud..."

My mouth dropped open, taking my hand from his back and covering my face.

"No."

I groaned into my hands as he laughed, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head.

"Don't be shy baby."

He said, pulling my hands down. I couldn't help the mad blush making its way to my cheeks.

"What did you hear?"

I asked hesitantly, him snaking his arms around my waist.

"You like a man that can take you and take care of you."

He said proudly, a lazy smile playing across his lips. I held my breath and closed my eyes.

"Oh god."

I sighed out. He laughed again, rubbing his finger tips into my lower back.

"Hey, don't feel bad, we've been friends forever. Nothing I can't handle. Besides, I wouldn't flirt back if I wasnt a little interested."

My eyes went wide at his words.

"What are you saying?"

I asked skeptically. He smirked at me.

"Kiss me and find out."

He said lowly. I just stared at him. My brain couldn't comprehend what was happening. Before I knew it he was moving towards me and I couldn't breathe. A second later his lips were on mine and I was kissing him like my life depended on it. He dipped me down, holding me tightly to him. When he pulled away I inhaled sharply, needing as much air as I could get. Or at least that's what it felt like. My lungs burned and my brain was misfiring. He half smiled before pecking me on the lips again.

"God I should've done that ages ago."

He breathed out and I nodded.

"Agreed."

I said, pulling him back down to me and kissing him passionately.

"Yes!"

I heard Bree shout, making me smile against him. When he pulled away we both looked to the doorway, Bree dancing in place as John stood there with his mouth open.

"How long has that been a thing?!"

He said shocked. Bree punched his arm making him flinch away. She ran to us, giving us a collective hug.

"I love you guys."

She said looking between us and I couldn't help but blush again.

"Thanks Bree."

#wattpad #x reader #colson baker #mgk #machine gun kelly #imagines #one shots #260

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adlexegam · 4 years

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please tell me, am i in the wrong?

so basically i decided to join here cause i at least know my post wont get removed here. i tried posting my story on reddit’s AITA but my post kept getting removed because on their posts you cant post about abuse. so fuck it, here i am, hoping for someone other than my bf and myself to tell me im not wrong. context:i decided to invite my boyfriend over without telling my parents, i did it max 5 times. i was 16 at the time and he was 18. i got caught and my punishment was to get my phone taken away, my number cancelled, im no longer allowed to drive a car or get my license, im only allowed one friend, im not allowed my laptop anymore, im no longer allowed outside without constant supervision, cameras were installed in and out of the house, and just about every day since december of 2019 ive been getting told how disgusting i am for wanting to be with a n****r (my bf’s half puerto rican half white, i’m half hispanic and half white too), how if he was white he would have come to the front door and shook my parent’s hands and asked for permission to date their daughter, how im a dirty n****r lover who will get pregnant from him and have to slave away to take care of our half breed mistakes, how if i stay with him he’ll sell my body on the streets for money, how if i have sex with him ill get every std on the plant, all that 50′s bullshit. ive gotten pregnancy tested (im celibate), drug tested (mom claims she smelled weed in my room, so he’s a dirty n****r drug dealer apparently forcing me to do drugs, guess what i am against drugs since i know itll change my brain chemistry and i have weak lungs),and std tested (still celibate). for the first few months after they found out i was allowed my laptop at home to do homework, and only allowed my phone during school. one day i got home and i got greeted to the fact that i no longer have a laptop and now have to use the house computer to do all my work at home. of course i got mad because for months ive been doing everything they wanted, and suddenly im being punished for being suspiciously good? my mom got on top of me and fought me to take off my backpack to take my airpods too, left my phone on the kitchen table. i grabbed my phone and locked myself in my room. she found out i took my phone, and once i unlocked the door i held my phone above my head so we can just talk. instead she got on top of me and started scratching me and all over my arms to get to my phone. i dropped it from the pain of the scratches on my arms. earlier that same day i was getting ready for school with my laptop open, camera taped over, looking for any school assignments i missed. my mom unlocked my door and saw my nude body getting ready with my laptop open, and just went back to the kitchen table and told my dad how much of a slut i am and how im posting my nude body on the internet. i quickly put on clothes and came up to her yelling how im just getting ready for school and how theres tape over the camera. i even told her to look at the laptop, the only thing open was google classroom. my dad got up and started yelling at me for being a slut and for talking back. for once i finally got tired of being yelled at, i finally stood up for myself. he punched me in the face and when my mom got in between to defend me (she caused the whole situation), his swings went back in on her stomach. i screamed dont hit my mother and tried to push her off him, he used the oppurtunity to grab my shoulder by my uniform and punch me in the shoulder. everything was a blur after that. my mother drove me to school and yelled how i shouldnt have been a whore on the internet. i fought back. before i got to school i yelled “please, just fuck off”. this is important later, because she used me saying that as the excuse for her getting on top of me and scratching me and ripping my backpack off my back. because i swore at her. it was okay. but here’s the important part. he hit me in front of the camera. i knew the police would ignore the emotional abuse ive been getting for my entire life. i got my physical evidence. finally, after 16 years, i had my evidence. i told my boyfriend what happened, and we agreed to meet after school the next day and call the police. i wanted to be emancipated, since my parents adamantly agreed that i (apparently) only wanted to be emancipated because my ‘poor street rat n****r boyfriend’ was manipulating me into it. ive been dreaming of this day since i was 8, when i realized what ive been told wasnt normal. they showed up on the corner of where i called. i told the policemen what happened to me the day before. they asked if i had any scars or bruises. i said no, he didnt punch me hard enough to get a bruise the next day, and my mother didnt scratch me hard enough to get scars. they knew what would happen if they gave me physical evidence. after i said that, the policeman interrogating me asked me something that will stay with me until the day i die. “he never really hit you, did he?” i began crying and saying yes! yes he did! i have video footage to prove it! we have cameras in the house! it happened right in front of the cameras! more questions ensued, and i was brought to the police station while my boyfriend waited at a local coffeeshop for me to finally be free from the abuse. at first i was scared, but the cops calmed me down. i told them everything. all my memories spilled from my mouth like water from the niagra falls. everything came rushing out, my fears, my forgotten memories i forced into my box of never to be remembered, the times before i feared for my life, the times i knew something wasnt right. i told them everything from the bottom of my heart. they listened and asked all the right questions.(if you want to know what happened to me and what i told them, ill post them in a future post if anyone cares) one of the officers, the only one with melanin skin and a father to a beautiful girl, expressively felt sick from my stories, from my life. not even he could understand why, as a father, why any parent would find it right to do to me what they did. he was my favourite police officer, he was the kindest and the only one who really wanted me to feel comfortable. he talked to me on the level of a person, not a child. eventually cps came and he told me to tell her everything too. i did. she asked where i wanted to go if i got emancipated. i said to live with my boyfriend, his family is willing to take me in and once i get a job ill pay minimal rent so i can be free. she said ‘no, you cant live with a minor.’ i said he’s not a minor, he’s 18. she said ‘oh, then yeah you definetly cant live with him’ she said if i wanted to leave i would be put into a women’s shelter since i was too old to be adopted/put into foster care. she said i would be r*ped if i was put in there. she said i should just take it until im 18, then ill be fine. she said that there were no scars or bruises, so it wasnt that bad. (this part is blurry, the more i remember it the more the memories overlap, im sorry for any confusion) the police interrogated my parents. they believed every word they said. my mother used whitepages as a source to prove how my boyfriend lied about his name. my mother used our hours long calls to prove how im obviously being manipulated to lie. she said how im just a liar, as my father said, a pathological liar. they had no cause to me being a pathological liar, i was just born that way. i was lying to get into my manipulative boyfriend’s arms for my body to be used by him and his friends. i was obviously being manipulated, why would i want to leave my loving parents arms? i was obviously doing this just out of anger of getting my laptop and phone taken away, obviously. its not like they EVER did anything wrong to me, they were just teaching me to grow up a mature adult, ready for the world. they would never put their hands on me. the police never looked at the cameras. they never questioned me again. i was a liar. at home the child protective services lady said my room quote ‘ranked of weed’. i have never done weed. my boyfriend has never done weed in my room. at the station they said they couldnt find a record of my boyfriend. i later found out that, even after he gave them his social security number, they still questioned his existence. at the station they told my parents they couldnt find his record (he has none, hes never committed a crime). at home a therapist came. to my knowledge, my boyfriend was never real (no record) and i would still have to be at home. i wanted to die. the therapist said she wanted to take me to a mental hospital. my mom was there and consented. my dad later came home, yelled at me in front of the therapist. she said im suicidal, with his consent she would call her supervisor to take me to the local mental hospital. he consented. while she called her supervisor from across the kitchen, he said: “she wants to kill herself? fuck if i care, she can drown herself in a river for all i care” i sat there shocked. the mental hospital was a blur. once i got home i got my phone taken away too. my only communication would be from the 10+ year old computer we have in the kitchen. facing out so anyone that walks by can see what im doing. one of the cameras is watching me at all times, but is positioned so that it cant see what i am doing. once i got home i used our kindle fire. i logged into discord on incognito mode. i asked him to send me his birth certificate. was he even real? was i even real? was our late nights of cuddling nothing? were the walks in the park nothing? were the ‘i love you’s nothing? did meeting his family from an hour long train ride mean nothing? were the chinese food dates nothing? were the confessions of our embarassing secrets nothing? were the times we had non-vaginal sex and laughed in the middle from how silly we were being mean nothing? were the times we had tiffs and talked it out mean nothing? did he save me from my ex-abusive partner just to use me? were the times we layed down next to each other with the only covering being my blanket, staring at each other in wonder of how lucky each of us were, was that nothing? when we spent hours telling each other our entire life stories, was he lying? did the times he called my body the most beautiful thing he ever has seen, the times he’s said he didnt think he’d ever fall in love again from his ex, was that a lie? he sent his birth certificate. it was real. his birth date his name it was all real. he told me what happened to him. i told him what happened to me. he apologized for it going the way it did. i apologized for doubting him. child protective services sent a therapist me and my mother had to meet with weekly. 2 hours, 10 times. it lasted until the first weeks of quarantine. me and him are still in the same love we’ve has since before he found out how truly insane my parents are. the only reason we’ve ever gotten into fights is from how much he wants me to run away (before you say ‘ok maybe the parents were right, he sounds manipulative’, no, he only says that after every time something else happens at home and how he has to cope with the fact that im okay with being abused since its my normal. he wants me to run away from the abuse, not just so we can see each other again, so i wont be hurt anymore). he’s still the man i want to marry, the man i want to call mine and for him to call me his. we get scared the other might get tired of the waiting and just decide to leave for someone each other’s family would like. we talk through it. we know we can wait. i know i can take it until im 18. he knows he’ll be prepared to take me in once im 18. we know we can take the late nights awake, missing each other. we can take it because this isnt puppy love. this isnt purely passionate love. he wants me to be safe, and i want to finally be free. so you’re up to this point and you’re probably thinking one of three things: jesus christ can this lady capitalize anything?? or holy FUCK this is long it better be good or why did she title her post that? first of all, i do what a want nehenehenehneh second of all, whoever reads this needs the full context before i ask my question third of all, because of what happened a couple of days ago. a month ago my dad passed from covid-19. ive become the housewife while my mother has taken over the family business and my brother does the grass once a month. my mother still cooks, but i clean the dishes and fold laundry every day and vaccuum the whole house twice a week. a letter came in the other day stating how our child protective services case is now closed. they never found signs of physical abuse or neglect. my mother reminded me for the infinitieth time how stupid i am for getting manipulated. how much of a dirty n*****r lover i am. how i will never be anything without her. then she brought my father into this i started the situation, which made him depressed. he was depressed, so he couldnt fight off the virus. because he couldnt fight off the virus, he died. she blamed me for killing my father she blamed me for my father for deciding to go out every day without a mask for my father deciding to put in his eyedrops in an insanitary environment she blamed me it was my fault i knew i was leaving when im 18 i knew i wanted to tell my mother at least a month before i left that i was leaving but now theres no going back once im 18, im gone im never turning back i will never be treated like this or talked down like this ever again but who will clean? who will vaccuum? who will make sure the house is organized? do i stay? can i even go? i just dont know anymore should i go? and well, what i started this post with, please tell me, am i in the wrong? for planning on leaving when im 18? to finish this post, i just want to say a few things. dont tell me to call the police or child protective services.i already did. they believed my abusive parents and told them how they can protect themselves against me, since i was the one who started all this. plus, look at the fucking news. no fucking wonder they believed my parents. my boyfriend looks hispanic and i look white. no fucking wonder they believed my parents. fuck cops. not all cops are bad, but no cop should fucking gun down people for their race. no person should be judged from some racist person saying “oh im fearing for my life” and the person in question is black/a poc and is doing fucking nothing. they believed my fucking abusive parents because they threw my bf under the bus as bait and the police went for it. dont come after my family. all that will do is make everything worse for me. my mother can’t even look at a poc without claiming they’re related to my boyfriend and are going to follow her to kill her. dont do anything to me. just please answer my question. please just tell me if im in the right or if im in the wrong. i know this is abuse. i know whats happening to me is wrong. but i know i can take it. i know i can survive. i will survive and achieve my dream of becoming a doctor. i will be my own person. i am me

#numb #mental illness #abuse #trauma #sad #sadness #abusive #hurt #depression #acab #amitheasshole #aita #deep #emotionalabuse

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the-writing-dump-bin · 5 years

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“kiss me” Abba + Female S/O with some NSFW please?🥺💓

I'm so sorry this took a while! I had something written and then halfway through I got writers block and didn't like what I had so I redid it. I hope this is good and thank you for your request!

MILD NSFW 18+

[[MORE]]

When you first saw Abbacchio, it was your first day of work at the restaurant. You shadowed another waiter to get the feel of things and ended up waiting on the well known gang. You were nervous, having never really seen a mafia gang before, so you were quiet and observed from behind the waiter who was training you.

"You can carry these plates." The waiter said, passing you the order. You weren't used to carrying so much but you found a balance and followed him back to the table.

It was going alright until you tripped over your own feet, spilling salad all over the tall, silver-haired man. "Oh my God!" You panicked, grabbing a napkin and wiping as much of the food off of him.

Abbacchio tensed, not expecting to be touched by you. "What the hell?!"

Realizing what you were doing, you quickly backed up and apologized repeatedly. "I'm so sorry, sir! I didnt mean to spill it all over you! I'm sorry I tried to clean you up, I know I'm not supposed to touch the customers! Oh my God, I'm going to be fired on my first day!"

Sighing, Abbacchio held up a hand for you to stop. "Its fine. I'll just clean it myself." He got up and walked to the washroom.

You ended up finishing the day by just observing the other waiters; taking notes on how they carried plates and beverages and their mannerisms. Surprisingly, you were not fired. The waiter who was training you told you that the man you spilled the salad on talked to the manager and said that it was an honest accident and to keep you employed. You couldnt help but smile; that guy was very sweet, even if he didnt look it.

---

"You didnt have to walk me home, Abbacchio." You playfully shoved his arm as you walked side by side with him.

Over the past few months, you had gotten close with him and his friends. They even requested you to wait their table whenever you were working. Tonight, you had to close the resturaunt and Abbacchio was there, waiting outside for you and offered to walk you home.

"Its late. You never know who will be out at this time of night. A small, attractive woman like you could easily get attacked."

"Attractive?" You gave him another shove, teasing him. "You think I'm attractive?"

Abbacchio started to blush. He didn't mean to say that out loud. "Well, I-I mean, you know."

He was so cute when he was flustered. It would be a lie if you had said that you hadn't grown attracted to him. Since he saved your ass from being fired the first day you met him, a crush had developed and you looked forward to seeing him any time he would come in.

Daring, you subtly reached out to hold his hand. When he felt your fingers interlock with his, he looked down at you, his unique coloured eyes staring wide at you. "What are you-"

"For comfort." You said with a wink. "Since you scared me with the thought of being attacked on my way home."

Abbacchio blushed again, but held your hand tighter in his.

"Well, this is me." You pulled your keys out to unlock the door. "Thank you for walking me home. You're very sweet."

Abbacchio just grunted and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I'm just glad you got home safe."

Unable to not tease him, you said "So now youre glad I'm safe? Leone Abbacchio, are you hiding something from me?"

His eyes widened and he started stumbling over his words again. "What? No. I mean, yes. But not like-"

"Would you like to come inside, Abbacchio?"

He was silent for a moment and shuffled his feet. He did want to come in, but it was like he forgot his words. Why did you have this affect on him?

Grabbing his hand again, you pulled him inside your house. "Have a seat. I'll get us a drink." After a moment, you came into the living room with two glasses of wine and sat next to him.

After a glass each, the two of you felt more comfortable. Learning about each other's past, what your favourites are, what you don't like, etc. Just having a really good time.

Getting braver, you brought up your hand and played with the strings on Abbacchio's shirt, fingers brushing against his chest that was exposed from the 'V' cut down the middle.

He shivered under your touch and brought his own hand to rest on your thigh. Looks like he was getting a little more braver as well. "I think it's apparent now, that I like you..." He said, eyes half lidded as he confessed to you.

"I like you, too." You said, inching closer and mirroring his expression. Straddling his hips, your thumb traced over his lips, smearing the purple lipstick that was painted on them. "Kiss me, Abbacchio."

And he did.

His lips were soft, leaving purple stains over your mouth; tongue dancing with yours every so often to mix it up. His hands rested on your back, holding you close. Soon enough, your shirts were discarded and heavier touching ensued.

Breaking off the kiss for a moment, you stood up and took your pants and underwear off. Before climbing back on top of him, you unzipped his pants and pulled them down to his knees.

You started kissing again, hands placed on the sides of his face while you moved your wet centre over his cock, bringing out deep moans from him. "That feels so good..."

Swiftly, Abbacchio grabbed you and laid you on your back on the couch and lined himself up to your entrance. He took his time, inching himself inside you so he wouldn't hurt you as you adjusted around him. "Are you okay?" He asked, his beautiful eyes searching your face.

"I'm wonderful." After brushing his long hair behind an ear, you held on to him as he started a rhythm, fueling the fire that was lit in your core.

Abbacchio was an amazing lover. He knew just how to make you feel like you were the most important thing to him. You could feel the passion he gave you as he slowly thrusted in and out of you. He took his time, not wanting to rush things with you.

Getting closer to the edge, Abbacchio picked up his pace, hips becoming a little more erratic. Soon enough, you came around him, moaning his name while he spilled inside you; hips pressed together to keep the sensation going.

Coming down from your high, you stared at each other, adoration evident as you smiled. You've come a long way from being a clumsy waitress on your first day. Now look at you two.

"This is probably a stupid question... But would you like to stay the night?"

Abbacchio chuckled, it was a stupid question. But he was happy for the invite and kissed you lovingly to show his answer.

#jojo #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyō na bōken #jojo kimyou na bouken #leone abbacchio #n*sf*w #150 follower event #request #anonymous #anon #read more #abbacchio x reader

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cloudywithachanceofwatering · 4 years

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Plance au where it hurt

I warned you . I really warned you .

Also , the ending is rushed . Sorry , my patience is low . I truly am a failure .

Edit : maybe it wont hurt so bad

Plaance god tier au where pidge and lance hooked up in the club and pidge got preggers . Unfortunately , the child died under mysterious circumstances during the third trimester . Lance had been with her the whole time , so he tried his best to comfort her even when she pushed him away .

The next year , lance left to pursue his career in the garrison in hopes to forget his pain . Pidge had left to recooperate , unsucessfully . She ended up avoiding meds and fell into anxiety and depression . They avoided each others interactions because they felt like they were the reason the child died .

The following year , lance and pidge had met in the same club again . This time , they were drunk enough to hook up again for real sad sex . A lot of tears and love , but in the end it was a one night stand . The next morning , lance left the motel without telling her . He didnt want to hurt her any more than he already did .

After realizing she was pregnant after a month , pidge hit the road with little to nothing . All she had was ten thousand dollars from stashing money for her baby , most of which her parents and brother had given. Pidge decided to get a cheap van from the scrapyard , got a liscence for the car , ditched everything she had inside and with her little driving skills , went off to somewhere she didnt know . All she really had was a driving liscence to prove her identity . She hid it away .

In the end , she only had a five thousand left . Yes , this was a time where everything wasnt real . This is a fic . Do not take things too seriously .

She literally disappeared overnight - nobody really knew where she went . All they had was a bought cheap van to go off on . How far couldve she went , people asked . Shes just a child , everyone said , unable to find her within a twenty mile radius the next day .

Pidge had driven for days , trying to get to the rural countryside as fast as possible . She found a little village after being lost for hours on end on a obscure forest path - and decided she was going to stay .

The villagers immediately noticed her van . Soon , a crowd formed and when she stepped out of the van , they crowded around her like scavengers looking for prey . They spoke in french , oddly enough - a mix of it . Italian , french , spanish was what she heard all at once .

A red hair girl put up her fist , silencing the villagers . " Hello , " she spoke in french . " Can i have a house ? " " No , " the red haired girl said . " The only house left are in the fields . It is dilapitated . " " Then can i have it ? " The villagers thought about it , buzzing even louder for a while . " Yes . We can help you fix it , " pidge heard from a few people at the front . It seemed to be agreed .

The villagers buzzed around for a bit , discussing their next move . Eventually , they asked a old lady to take her in while they went to look for items to fix up the house with . The red haired girl , with a thick french accent , told her in english : " We will help you . Come with her , she will feed you . "

And oddly enough , it felt like home . Their hospitality - it mustve come from a lack of visitors and her odd way of entering , their curiousity - but pidge was too tired and hungry to be cautious . It was the best human interaction she had for days . The red haired girl proceeded to bring out her items for two guys to take int othe home of the old woman .

The old woman , she was called " old rosa , " had no name . So she took in the name old rosa . She could speak english fluently , although she tripped over her words a bit . " My dear , come and eat , the villagers will help bring in your items . I suppose theyll make your van a bit more hospitable for you . " " Where are you from ? You speak english quite well , " pidge had asked . " Britain , my dear . Although i dont know where . But i do have a postcard with a picture - me and my parents . Everyone says it is a place in Britain , the english folks did . It was a baby me . But now , i cannot remember for the life of me where i am from , my name , my everything . The villagers , they took me in . Incredibly kind of them , " old rosa told pidge fondly .

" Why have you come ? " she had asked pidge . " Because i am pregnant , and to run away , because my relatives will speak to me unkindly if they knew , and i did not want to disappoint my parents and everyone around me again , " pidge sighed . She crossed her arms , unsure if she made a good decision or not telling her . Old rosa simply smiled , wrinkles becoming even more prominent . " I have a child myself - she has a baby boy . She can help you , if you want . The doctor is her husband . They can help you , but they might get a bit too excited about a new baby , " old rosa laughed . Pidge giggled , despairingly remembering what lance said about her giggles and laughs . How cute and bell-tinkly they were .

Oh , how she wished he was here to help her , but only the crevices of her mind said . She had long pushed him away , for the sake of her sanity . Her eyes welled up a bit nonetheless , and she gently thumbed over her stomach . That day , she had woke up alone and cold - perhaos it was for the best . At least you didnt pay for the motel room , a tiny thought sparked . It didnt help much , but a shimmer of hope tugged at her heart . Maybe she could pull through , with or without lance .

Old rosa present a bowl of rice and two poached eggs inside . " I really couldnt do much - i just wanted to make something quick for you my dear . Besides , the resources man hasnt arrived yet . On sunday he will , and on sunday we can go visit him for food . Yes , we are self-sufficient , but the doctor needs items . The resources man is very kind . He gives us what we need for free . I think the government set aside money for us - very kind of them . "

Pidge quickly came to realize her chatter as she ate . She smiled , breaking the poached egg and deciding to mix it with her rice . Old rosa just kept smiling , talking on and on about everything . It felt so nice - like her brother and mother fussing over every little thing that happened to pidge every day .

Another flicker of sadness - how lonely she was . If only she had her family , her lance - no , not her lance . He was just a little crush . That is all . But homesickness struck - how far away was she from her family ? It was selfish of her to leave .

The red haired girl came back in . She spoke in their mixed language - " The van , we tried to make it more homely , rearranged items but kept in sight . You do not have much , so we gave you some blankets and a mattress and pillows and clothes . "

Yes , this wasnt home , but pidge could deal with it .

As the year went by , pidge quickly upholstered her van-home into a much homier place . She made a few good friends . Connor , the fabrics person , he was incredibly kind and sweet , came over often to check on her and drown her in soft wools and cashmeres of all colours . He felt oddly motherlike , perhaps because of his feminine preferances . Old rosa became increasingly motherlike too , taking more and more care of her . The red haired girl , osara , she made sure pidge had priority to make sire the baby would be safe , along with her .

Old rosas daughter , maybellina [ yes , maybelline the makeup brand however you spelled it played a part in this ] , was very kind and loving , like her mother . Her husband , tom , made sure she had checkups every now and then , sometimes popping over randomly to check on her .

Sometimes she would visit connor - he had a huge old castle as a house , his family hadi t for generations . Although he was lonely as the only one , it was fine by him . They were walking up a whole lot of stairs to his sewing and looming room thing , when he had abruptly asked : " Pidge , i was wondering , do you know someone called katie holt ? You come from somewhere else , right ? I have told you before , i study at the garrison . Someone called katie holt , she had disappeared . I heard her parents , her brother and his boyfriend , they have been searching endlessly . They do not know where to find her anymore , " connor said . Oops , yikers ! Haha , no good . Thats all pidges mind provided before shutting off .

So she just stared at him blankly , before connor being the huge softie he is , started blushing and buried his face into her hair , murmuring something along the lines of " im too soft for this . "

And that , my friends , is how the start of something more than a friendship begin . Perhaps pidges mind shutting off helped .

_______________________________________

Lance had firstly , freaked out after pidge went missing and secondly , spent his weekends trying to find clues of her anywhere . So when connor , the nice guy [ actually nice ] asked him what he was doing in the middle of class , he decided to just spill the beans for the sake of his sanity and his already sad heart . " She used to go by the name of pidge . Pidge gunderson . Shes the fu-ing cutest girl youll ever see , " lance had ended . Yes , he self censored himself . Connor was still pure .

Oddly enough , connors eyes seem to be interest at the name of pidge . And even more weirder , he asked lance to be his teammate for this science project on fabric tendancies . The garrison is weird , dont question it . So connor invited him to his home , which worked out well cause all weekend lance just went pidge mode . And he decided to pry more cause he seemed to know a bit .

So that weekend , he saw a girl with long hair that vaguely looked like katie holt . " This is a pidge i know , " connor said . And oh fuck , it clicked in his head - connor's brain shut off after realizing what he did .

Pidge had changed - her hair became longer , more fluffy . Lighter coloured too , from spending time outside . And the most prominent change - she had a baby . With curly blonde hair . And blue eyes .

In lances mind , he couldnt fathom why he had ever decided to leave the motel room anymore . And neither did pidge .

_________________________________________

In the end , everything ended with a flurry of kisses and love , before night struck , and the next morning lance had left again . He had to go to school , which was logical of him . So she didnt put it against him , just helped him get ready and said bye at the door , albeit sadly .

_________________________________________

The years went by . Her little dilapitated house was finally put together . What little she had , pidge tried to make the best of it . She slept with her two children to keep them warm .

Yep , child uno numbero two . I dont know spanish , sorry . I am trying my best on duolingo , though .

Connor still checked up on her , lance still asked about her . He was like the middleman . Poor guy had a affinity for both of them .

One day , lance showed up randomly with a nice suit and a sexy , sleek black car . " Pidge , your parents . They are trying to pry anything about you from me and connors cold , dead hands . Just go back to them , please . Im sorry i didnt have the heart to come visit . "

For whatever reason , it sounded so halfhearted for both of them . Maybe because lance didnt want to make her leave her home and talk to her about it . And they both knew it .

Pidge , she felt hostile .

So she made sure her children never spoke to him if he came .

The next time , he tried to coax her to leave with him to go home . Not happening .

The third time , lance got hella pissed , and started packing up their things . " Lance , why are you doing this ? I dont want to go back . "

And lance softened . " Because i want to take care of you . I finally found you , finally get to see my children , and i finally have money to take care of my family . "

Pidge dragged him out . " Ill consider it . "

_______________________________________

The next time he visited , pidge was ready to leave . " Ive said my goodbyes , said ill come visit . Dont let me down . "

The first thing they did was pack up her items . Put it in her old refurbished van , and while pidge drove his car , and lance drove her old van .

They went to the village , said one last goodbye , and with heavy hearts left . But something inside of pidge lightened . She was finally going home .

__________________________________________

Osara , old rosa , maybellina , tom , connor , they all came to visit pidge and lance when they got married . Their children - samantha for the older curly blonde and girasol for the younger straight black haired - were the little bridesmaids . How cute .

When matt and shiro got married , everyone came back again to celebrate .

Years went by . The village finally got internet , so lance and pidge got the occasional call , and called here and there . Connor and pidge and lance were still as close and cutesy as ever . They visited the village , watched it grow and expand . Helped pidges old friends out . They dragged connor out of a abusive marriage that firstly , left him with seven children , and secondly , a lot of freedom .

And life was nice . Even though pidges family were heavy pissed , they got over it within minutes and only had love left . Even when times got rough with connor when his family was slowly falling apart because of his wife , he managed to kick her out . Very nice .

And a lot nice things happened that lead them to a nice little marriage again , with a epic threesome . Yay for me wanting fluff ! Yay for connor , poor guy !

Fin

__________________________________________

I warned you , the ending was rushed .

Heres the original draft [ read for loss of braincells ] :

DURING HIGH SCHOOL LANCE AND PIDGE DID THE DEED , PIDGE GOT PREGGERS , LANCE SAID BYE AND SO PIDGE ENDED UP MOVING TO A RURAL AREA CAUSE SHE WAS SCARED HER FAM WOULD FYCKING HATE HER DUMBASS SO SHE PACKS UP AND GETS MONEY FROM WHEREVER SHE KNOWS OF AND THEN SHE JUST TAKES A BUS RIDE FAR FAR AWAY SOMEWHERE SO SHE COULD SAVE MONRY AND BE SELF SUFFICIENT IN A RURAL SHITHOLE AND ALL SO SHE LIVES IN A SHITTY DILAPITATED COTTAGE WITH HER KID WITH VIRTUALLY NOTHING LILE LITERALLY NOTHING ALL THE CLOTHES SHE HAS ITS FROM DUMPSTERS IN THE CITY AND THERES ONE FUCKING MATTRESS IN THE ONE ROOM AND LIKE A TABLE WITH TWO CHAIRS THATS IT BUT PIDGE SOMEHOW MANAGES TO WEASEL MONEY INTO HER FAMILY AND ALL AND ONE DAY LANCEP ULLS UP YEARS AFTER IN A FANCY FUCKING CAR AND SAYS HEY SORRY SHES LIKE NO FUCK YOU BUT LANCE COMES BACK THE SECOND TIME AND PIDGES LIKE KID DONT COME OUT IF THUS CUNT COMES BUT EVENT7ALLY THE THIRD TIME HE WRANGLES HER INTO HIS CAR BY LITERALLY TAKING THEIR SHIT AND SAYING YOURE MOVING AND HE ASKS HER KID TO FOLLOW HIM AND THE DUMBASS KIDS LIKE UH MOM LOL OK SO THEN PIDGES LIEK WHAT THE FUCK AND HE FORCES THEM TO HIS HOUSE SO THEY CAN LIVE A BETTER LIFE AND HIS KID WONT BE FUCKING UNEDUCATED AND UNVAXXED AND EVERYTHING AND HE CAN ACTUALLY MAKE IT UP TO PIDGE AND THAT PIDGE CAN GO HOME TO HER FAMILY SO PIDGES LIKE WHY AND HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND ME AND LANCE JUST SAYS HE SPENT FUCKING YEARS GOING FULL ON SHERLOCK HOLMES TO FIND HER DEADASS SO BECAUSE HER KID LIKES LANCE SHES LIKE FUCK OK SO EVENTUALLY THEY KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE BAM END YAAAAS

HWEN I SAID GOD AU I MEANT IT THIS HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR MO N T H A

ANYWAY ELABORATING ON KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE HE GETS THEM A EPIC NICE HOUSE AND NEW CLOTHES AND SHIT AND CHECKS ON PIDGE AND HER KID EVERY FIVE SECONDS TO MAKE SURE THEYRE OKAT AND HE PLAYS WITH PIDGES KID EVEN WHEN HE HAS LITERALLY NO TIME LIKE HES WEARING FANCY CLOTHES AND HAS A CONFERNECE AT 3PM BUT ITS 255 AND HES STILL PLAYING WITH HER KID NADP IDGE HAS TO FORCE HIS DUMBASD TO LEAVE AND DO THE MONRY MONEY SO PIDGES LIKE HEY KID DO YOU LIKE PLAYING WITH HIM HAHA HES YOUR FUCKING DAD AND SHES LIKE WOOOAAAHHHH CAUSE SHES A DUMBASS KID SO DUMB KID LOVES LANCE RVEN MORE AND PIDGES LIKE I TILD HER YOURE HER DAD OKAY ILL GO COOK POTATOES NOW AND LANCE IS HAPPY HAPPY SO AFTER THE HAPPY HAPPY LANCE GOES INTO THE GUEST ROOM TO TALK TO PISGE CAUSE THATS HER HOME NOW AND THEY JUST DECIDE TO PUT AWAY THEIR UNDERLYING ISSIES FOR THEIR KID AND BECAUSE SEX MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER THEY HAVE SEX AND WOW LOOK PIDGES PREGNANT AGAIN FOR FUCKS SAKE SO LANCE TAKES CARE OF PIDGE LEGIT NOW AND GETS PIDGE A FUTURE JOB AFTER SHES DONE WITH CHILD OUT AND ALL SO ITS ANOTHER DUMB KID WHOOPIE WOWOWOWOWWO WHO FUCKING KNEW SO NOW HER FIRST KIDS LIKE TWO YEARS OLD BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL KID THAT SHE AND LANCE FUCKED WAS DEAD YEAH IT DIED BUT SHE WENT TO A CLUB AND FUCKED DRUNK LANCE AGAIN AND LEFT OR SOMETHING GOD ONOWS WHAT HAPPENED CAUSE LANCE SURE AS HELL DOESNT SO NOW PIDGE IS LIKE OH MAYBE HE ISNT A SHITBAG AND LANCES LIKE HEY HOT MARRY ME AND SHES LIKE LOL OK SO THEY KISSED KISSED FALLED IN LOVED

#plance #pidgance #voltron pidge #voltron lance #voltron #vld pidge #vld lance #cloudyhadachanceofwatering

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universitykpop · 5 years

Text

Reputation; Series (Part 9)

Summary: Zhang Yixing was a typical jock. He had the looks, athleticism, and cockiness, all the makings of a football boy. Though he was popular and had people around him at all times, he didn’t talk much. There had to be another side to him, and you needed to find out.

PART 9

Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Angst, a rollercoaster of emotions

Member: Lay feat. the rest of ot12 (i think?)

Words: 1,221

A/N: Didn’t hit my word count minimum, but new year, new me, I’m posting this shit. The next part should be the final part.

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8

Pulling up to Joonmyeon’s home made you feel weird like something was going to happen tonight. You were slightly nervous now that the school’s supervision was no longer there. Fidgeting with the hem of your blouse, you followed Chanyeol into the house you first met him at.

After Joonmyeon and a cheerleader were announced as Homecoming King and Queen, the boys dispersed to get ready for the party. You had changed into a more comfortable outfit while riding in Chanyeol’s SUV, which he laughed at your struggle the whole time.

There were many familiar faces at the party. You could spot each of the football players, surrounded by friends and girls. Joonmyeon walked around in his crown with sheer cockiness. Chanyeol went straight for a foldout table with large speakers on top. His phone was plugged into a small electronic before his party music boomed through the room, drowning out the chatter that once lingered.

An arm landed around your shoulders, and you glanced to the side, coming face to face with Baekhyun.

“Hey, Hyejin just got here… She walked in with Kris.” He shouted over the song.

Chanyeol dropped his phone on the table, “Where is he?”

“Backyard.”

“Why does he keep trying to steal my girls?” Chanyeol growled as he stormed out the back door.

Your eyes strayed back to Baekhyun who was smirking like he just heard a juicy secret.

“I saw you dancing with Yixing.”

“It wasn’t a big deal. If anything, he felt sorry for me since I was by myself.” You internally rolled your eyes.

“He was pretty pissed about not having a date. I thought he wasn’t gonna go to the dance. But I saw him smile for the first time tonight while he was with you.” Baekhyun informed, raising his eyebrows challengingly.

“Maybe you weren’t paying attention hard enough. Speaking of dates. Where’s yours? Can’t you go annoy her?”

“She had a curfew… so I’m alone. Maybe Yixing will slow dance with me too.” Baekhyun sighed in false longing.

You laughed with tears forming in your eyes as Jongin and Sehun came into view, heading straight for you.

“I see you’ve lost your date, so now you’re stealing someone else’s.” Sehun chided jokingly, and you pushed at his shoulder.

“Sehun, you might want to shut up before she punches the shit out of you again.” Baekhyun warned with a grin and looked back to you, “Kyungsoo, the office aid, found the security footage of him getting his ass handed to him by you.”

“You really drive me to drink, you know that?” Sehun narrowed his eyes at Baekhyun.

“Oh, so you’re going to get one? Get us all drinks while you’re at it.”

“The fuck? Are your arms broke?” Sehun made a face before heading to the kitchen.

Baekhyun, Jongin, and you followed behind him, knowing full well he wasn’t going to bring you three anything.

Two vodka sodas later, you found yourself in the backyard swaying side to side with Hani to the music as you watched some guys chicken fight in the pool. Joonmyeon definitely went all out for this party. The pool lights turned into all the colors of the rainbow while fairy lights were strung above the water. All sorts of blow up toys were chilling in the hot tub ready for the taking. The outdoor speakers were connected to the music inside the house with the TV above the porch playing a professional football talk show on mute. Large letter balloons spelling out “HoCo” were taped to a backdrop for taking pictures.

As one of the guys were pushed off another’s shoulders in the pool, you noticed a familiar figure step through the back door, and a smile tugged at your lips. Yixing had changed into a plain tee and jeans, which could always make your heart beat a little faster.

You felt a foot nudge your leg from behind. Peering back, Minseok was looking at you from his chair.

“Go talk to him.” He nodded toward Yixing.

“Oh, my God! How many of you know?” You whined, and he laughed.

“Not many of us.”

“How did you find out?”

His eyes wandered to Hani, and she immediately went on the defense.

“It was an accident, I swear.”

“He’s coming this way,” Minseok warned.

You whipped around. Yixing’s gaze landed on you, and an innocent smile spread across his face. The amount of anxiety building up inside you was worrisome. This boy should not have this much power over you. He was rounding the hot tub and-

“Are you fucking serious?” Jongin snapped nearby, capturing the attention of the backyard. A red stain covered his shirt. The girl next to him was repeating her apologies.

“Jongin, just go grab one of Joonmyeon’s shirts,” Minseok suggested.

Jongin rolled his eyes and stomped over to you. “Can you help me wash this out?”

“I-I guess.” You allowed him to guide you by the arm up to Joonmyeon’s room.

It was large, like master bedroom large. The style was rustic and kind of messy. You would have guessed Joonmyeon to be cleaner.

“His bathroom is right there. Can you run water over the spill?” Jongin handed you the shirt once the bedroom door was shut.

“He has his own ensuite?” You mumbled to yourself in disbelief. You shouldn’t be surprised at this point.

You did as he asked, trying to rid the stain. While you massaged the fabric under the faucet, Jongin leaned against the frame, watching you. His gaze was heavy for some reason.

“What?” You glanced at him briefly.

“I saw you dancing with Yixing at Homecoming.”

“Why is everyone acting like that’s a big deal? He just felt sorry for me.”

“Why can’t you take these little interactions as wins? I do. You could still be in the background had I not invited you to that one party. Things may not have panned out how you wanted them to, but at least you have a relationship with him.”

You sighed, “Jongin-”

A loud static screech interrupted you from downstairs.

“Zhang Yixing, we have a little something to tell you since a certain someone has been too scared to confess.” A familiar voice announced through the sound system, and your heart stopped.

You took off straight to the source. As you rounded the corner at the end of the stairs, you found a large banner hanging from the banister looking over the living room. The words “Y/N LOVES YIXING” were in big red letters.

“There’s the special girl,” Kris said into the microphone next to the fold out table.

Your eyes started to burn with tears trying to drown them. The room was buzzing with laughter. You needed to get out. Before you could turn to run, Yixing called your name from the other side of the room. You couldn’t face him right then.

You fled from the scene, random people laughing and pointing at you as you managed to escape. Before making it out the door, a guy yelled something that stuck in your head.

Social climber.

Your legs carried you as fast and as far as possible away from Joonmyeon’s house. The embarrassment was twisting around in your stomach making you feel like you were going to vomit. How did they even find out? Unless…. Sehun.

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fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 5 years

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Happier (Taehyung x You ONESHOT)

A/N: This is one of the first requests in my inbox and im sorry it took this long to write this. I just got inspired last mightt. sorryy love youuu

A/N : And also, I’m trying a new thing here. if anyone here like my stories and want to give some support, why not buy me a coffee? ☕💜

MASTERLIST

Walking down 29th and Park I saw you in another’s arms You look happier

“Hey, woah slow down Tae. How many glass have you drank?” Jimin snatched his glass away and Taehyung smirked.

“Oh come on Chim. Its a party. A happy occassion! Shouldnt we be happy too? Let me drink!” He growls and tries to get his glass back but Jimin pull his hand away.

“How long are you going to be this way? Are you going to get drunk everytime you remember her? Everytime theres a couple? A wedding? An engagement? Anything thats reeks happiness or reminds you of love?!”

“Yeah. I am! So what?!” Taehyung growls and sneered at his friend, trying to find another glass.

“Get over her already Kim Taehyung!” Jimin yelled. “Get over Y/N!”

“I cant. Not when she looks so happy in another man’s arm. No one should be able to make her happy like that except for me Chim! No one!” Taehyung sighed and slumped down on the chair.

“But you are the one wbo blew it Tae. Its your own damn fault and you got no one to blame,” Jimim rubs his friend’s back. He knows how heart broken Taehyung is but theres realy no one else to blame but himself. “Now man up. Its a party and you wont ruined it just because you cant see anyone else happy and in love!” Jimin growls and shakes Taehyung’s shoulder. “Shes happier now and you should be happy for her, and thats that,”

Saw you walk inside a bar He said something to make you laugh I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours Yeah, you look happier, you do

Its only been a few months after their fateful breakup that Taehyung saw Y/N again. He saw her in her favorite scarf and beanie, fighting the cold weather, her nose and the tip of her ears slightly pink. Taehyung loves that look on her. He always teased her about it when they were together. Without realizing, his legs has taken him into her direction, wanting nothing more than to tap her shoulder and tell her how much he misses her, but Taehyung never get the opportunity when clumsy as she is, she bumped into someone the moment she walked into the bar, spilling the glasses of beer the man is holding. And before he knows it, the two of them are talking and laughing to the wee hours, the man’s friends forgotten and Taehyung sat alone by the corner, just staring at them.

His last memory of hers… her crying face, her eyes thats filled with pain.. now is replaced by the wide smile on her face, laughing at something the man said. If only Taehyund had walked faster. If only Taehyung grabbed her hand first before she enters the bar, if only she wasnt clumsy. So many ifs but everything is too late when all he can see now is Y/N’s big grin that matches the man as they exchanged phone numbers.

If only he could turn back time and treat her right.

Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain’t nobody love you like I do

Y/N and Taehyung has been together for almost 10 years. Well, they will be 10 in a few months and Y/N loves him like no other. Dating an idol was never easy. Especially if the said idol is extremely well known and good looking and she is just a normal girl. Its fate they met and fall in love. Y/N had refused his invitation for drinks multiple times when they first met, but Taehyung was relentless. He keeps showing up and asking her out, and who in the world could resist Kim Taehyung’s charms when he decides to put it to good use on someone. So, after months of persuading and convincing, Y/N finally said yes to a coffee date.

A simple coffee date turns to talking all day long. They laugh, they share their interests, they shared stories, and they even continued their coffee date to a night walk by the Han river which they ended up sitting and talking until the break of dawn. As Taehyung walks Y/N home, he finally finds the courage to ask for her phone number and one simple coffee date turns to lunches, movies, walk in the parks, dinners and on their 10th date, Taehyung finally asks her to officially become his, which Y/N said yes to without hesitation.

Taehyung and Y/N are madly in love, and eventhough they were not allowed to date in public, that didnt seem to stop them as their love for each other burns quite strongly. Y/N believes that no matter what happen, they can take it, just as long as Taehyung continues to love her.

Nine years they have been together. They are in love and happy and Taehyung couldnt have asked for more. Y/N is understanding, beautiful, smart, sweet and everything else he ever wanted in a girl, but Yerin came like a summer breeze in his comfortable winter with Y/N. Hr met when Yerin, a rookie idol, was casted as one of the model for their music video. She is fresh, young, charming and new and for some odd reason, out of the sevem boys, she seemed to be interested in him. Yerin didnt know at first, to the world Taehyung is a single man, and by the time she found out that Taehyung is in a long term serious relationship, she has already fallen too deep in love with him,amd a girlfriend wont stop her efforts in persuing Kim Taehyung.

Relentless and determined to make Taehyung hers, she become his dream girl, his one place to vent about work stress… or when he has fight with Y/N. Tiny unimportant arguments turns into bigger fights led Taehyung to not coming home for days. And Yerin swoop in to take the opportunity and on one drunken night at a bar listening to Taehyung vent about the fights led to sleepless night in her bed, doing things he shouldnt have. One night turns to many, once a week turns to almost everyday and soon enough Taehyung is convinced that he is in love with Yerin too.

So Y/N becomes a punch bag. A person to release his anger on when he got into a fight with Yerin. When he is jealous about Yerin’s intinate closeness with her co star. Smiles and sweet nothings are only whispered in Yerin’s ears and only harsh words of insults and yelling are left for Y/N.

Nine years theu have been together. Ten in a few months, and Y/N knkws something has changed in her relationship Taehyung. Is it her? Did she do something? Did she changed? Is that why Taehyung hates her so much?

Tears dripped down on the cold floor as she kneeled down to pick up the remains of the food that she worked so hard to cook as a surprise for him and scattered pieces of the broken plate that Taehyung threw on the floor earlier before storming out. Just because she asks him where he had been when she calls the dorm and the boys said he were not there. Just because of that one question, Taehyung pushed down everything on the table to the floor in rage before storming off, not coming home for the next three days. Dont even get her started on the harsh words Taehyung said to her every day, cancelling on date nights for no reason at all even when she is already fully dressed and pushing her away when she tries to kiss him. Y/N starts to keep to herself, crying herself to sleep whenever Taehyung stormed off or didnt make it home for the night, keeping quiet when he is around, afraid anything she said will set him off, all the while trying to think of the mistake she did that seems to make Taehyung to stop loving her.

But no matter how she tried, she doesnt know why. Y/N was almost convinced that maybe Taehyung’s love for her has expired. Maybe love does have an expired date after all. After all, they have been together for nearly 10 years, maybe he is bored of her already.

Then one fateful day, when she decides to come home early from work, she finally found out why.

The red stilletos placed neatly in front of the door is definitely not hers. But even with a panic rising in her chest, Y/N tries to reason with herself. Maybe one of the boys comes over to visit Taehyung and brought their girlfriend with them. Yes, that could be it. But the dim lighted house when she entered and the trail of clothes leading to their bedroom are making it hard to believe the reason she just came out with.

The noise she heard as she neared the room is making her thoughts came true and the sight she sees when she pushed open the door slightly confirmed everything.

Y/N covered her mouth with both of her hand as she stood there watching her boyfriend thrusting in and out of a woman she has never seen before. Their loud moans and being lost in pleasure distract them from seeing her there, and with tears running down her face, Y/N turned around and went out from the house, eliminating all traces that she has been there and witness the whole thing.

Maybe its a one time thing. She can forgive a one time thing right? Everyone make mistakes and Taehyung is only human. He loves her. Taehyung still loves her.

Atleast that is what she keeps tellimg herself as she comes home hours later, pretending like nothing happened.

Y/N’s hope and trust that its a one time thing broke into pieces when she starts to caught them multiple times, everywhere. Even worse when she caught Taehyung talking to the girl on the phone, and texting her. Her heart shattered into pieces when she finally heard it. Taehyung’s hush voice, under the blanket.

“I love you Yerin, goodnight angel,”

All this time Y/N pretended not to know that her boyfriend is sleeping with someone else, in her own house too. She pretended not to know, hoping its just a fling, something Taehyung needed to get out from his system. She knows she can forgive him, just as long as he tells her he still loves her.

But telling the other girl he loves her? Y/N knew then that their relationship is over. And she knows just the perfect gift she could give to the man she loves, one last time.

Sat on the corner of the room Everything’s reminding me of you Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you’re happier Aren’t you?

Why didnt he notice her smile that just didnt reached her eyes anymore? Or the way she goes to bed early? Or how she always refuses date night saying shes too exhausted? And her puffy and red eyes like she has been crying all night when she wakes him up for breakfast? Why didnt he see all that?

Taehyung took a swig from the already half empty bottle as he thinks about all the things he should have noticed. Things that showed Y/N already knows about his infidelity. Knows how he already broke her heart.Things he should have done. This is his usual routine whenever they dont have a schedule now, crawled into a corner at a nameless bar where no one would recognize him and drinks up one whole bottle or whatever bottle that he is sober enough to order next, thinking about his memories with Y/N. The good memories, the bad memories, and just memories of her. The way she walks, talks, laugh and smile. The way she always smell, of roses and vanilla, the way she needs to drink a cup of milk before she can fall asleep, the way she loves to dance in the rain. Every single thing reminds Taehyung of Y/N. So he drinks. He keeps on drinking until all theres left are hazy memories of her, and yet, when he wakes up after passing out at some alleyway the next morning, her face is always the first thing that appeared in his mind.

Taehyung shouldnt be this way. He shouldnt even feel this way. He shouldnt even be thinking about Y/N at all. Y/N has found someone new. Someone who can make her laugh better, smile wider, happier even, and she dont need him anymore. But why is it Taehyung needs her more than ever now?

Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain’t nobody need you like I do I know that there’s others that deserve you But my darling, I am still in love with you

“T-Taehyung?” Y/N’s sleepy eyes popped wide open when she realized who is at her door at 4 am in the morning, looking drunk as hell and disheveled.

“Baybeeeee,” Taehyung slurred as he stumbled into the door, trying to kiss her but Y/N avoided him.

“Tae go home. Its 4 am and you are drunk,”

“I-Im not drunkkk. I want to see my babybeee,” he giggles and stumbled into the couch.

“Tae…” Y/N sighed. “Just stay there. Ill make some coffee to help you sober up and then maybe you can go home,” Y/N make sure he is safe and comfortable on the couch before heading to the kitchen to make him the coffee and some snacks. By the time she came back, Taehyung is already fast asleep, drooling on her couch. She stood there in front of him, a steaming cup of coffee in one hand, looking at him sadly.

“I guess… we just have to talk tomorrow then. Sleep well Taehyung,”

/////

“Hey… how are you feeling?” Taehyung feels like he has woken up in heaven when the first thing he sees is Y/N’s face smiling in front of him if its not for the killer headache attacking his head right at that moment.

“Like dying,” he groans out. Y/N giggles at his answer and even then he feels his heart skipped a beat from the sound.

“I know. You are hangover. Drink this. It will help,” she pushes a glass of hot beverage in front of him and some pills. “And I made breakfast too. Eat up before you go okay,” the thought of Y/N making him breakfast sends his heart into a frenzy but then he remembers her next words, ‘before you go’ . Right. They are no longer together. He can no longer lounge and watch TV with her, legs tangling together after breakfast or his favorite, making sweet sweet love to her. Y/N belongs to someone else now. And he needs to go after he eats breakfast.

“Yeah.. thanks,” he takes a sip of the drink and swallow his pills. “I take it I was drunk and showed up at your house at late hours last night?”

“4 am to be exact,” she smiles.

“I’m really sorry Y/N,”

“Its okay Tae. It happens. I understand. Eat up and sober up okay? Your brothers must be worried about you,” she smiles again and start to get up but Taehyung stop her by pulling her hand.

“No. Theres no possible way that you can understand Y/N,” he looks at her straight in the eye. “You wont be able to understand how much I miss you, need you,”

“Taehyung, dont,” Y/N tries to shake her hand loose but to no avail.

“Please Y/N…”

“I-I dont know what you are asking from me. Taehyung we are over. I have met someone new now,” Y/N tries to shake her hand off again. “Tae… I’m happy with him,” Her words were like a blade to Taehyung’s heart. “You know I’m happy with him,”

“Y/N… I know you deserve to be happy. I know theres someone out there that deserves you more than me, that can treat you better, love you better…” he trailed off, hoping for a reaction.

Y/N just kept quiet, finally able to take her hand back after Taehyung let it go.

“But Y/N… give me a chance. You have loved me before. You can love me again. I will treat you the way you really deserve Y/N. Please…,” Taehyung begged, his eyes wide. “Y/N… I still love you. I am still so in love with you. I cant forget you. I cant move on from you,”

“Tae… please dont do this,” Y/N sniffles, tears threatening to fall down. “You know I love you before Tae. You are everything to me,” she cups his face. “But its over. You didnt choose me. So I chooses someone new Tae. And this breakup is the only gift I could give you,”

I could try to smile to hide the truth I know I was happier with you

“Happy anniversary Kim Taehyung. I cant believe its our 10th year together now,” Y/N smiles at him and Taehyung smiles back. God, he misses that smile. So beautiful. A smile that never fails to make all his bad days turns good again. That smile that never leave her face no matter how bad Taehyung treated her all this years. Abandoned her, keeping her a secret, yells at her, making her a punching bag, push her around, hurt her… everything bad he did, she only replied with that smile.

Why am I so stupid? Taehyung thought to himself. He already have the perfect angel bestowed upon him and all he do is take her for granted and hurt her. I’m never going to make her cry out of sadness ever again. Ever. I’m going to make it right this time. Who am I kidding? No one will ever be able to make as happy as she is. Y/N is the only one for me. Forever and always. I’m at my happiest only when I’m with her, and I’ll keep it that way.

Yerin was a mistake. He never loved her. He realized that now. Everything he did with her is out of lust, and blinded feelings. Y/N deserves better. Y/N is the only girl for him and he knows that now. Taehyung just hopes that he is not too late.

“Happy anniversary baby,” Taehyung closes the gap between them and hold her hand. He leans in to give her a kiss but Y/N titlted her head, avoiding it, making Taehyung confused. “Baby? Everything okay?”

“Everything is more than okay. Its great even,” Y/N smiles again, but her smile is sad this time. Taehyung furrowed her brows. Whats happening? He starts to panics when tears starts falling down her cheeks softly, but the smile still etched across her face.

“T-then why are you crying baby?”

“N-nothing. I’m just going to give you your present okay?”

“Okay. But wait!” Taehyung reached on the table and take the gift box that he had wrapped so carefully. “Open mine first. Its not much baby but I promise everything is changing starting now. That present is just the beginning,” he grins, knowing Y/N couldnt possibly understand what he is talking about.

“I…” Y/N looks down, not moving to take the box. “Just… I want to give you my present first okay Taehyung?”

“O-okay then baby. What is it?”

“I’m afraid its not something material,” she smiles. “But I know you will love it,”

“Really? What is it baby?” Taehyung smiles warmly at her. “Whatever it is you are giving me, I will like it anyway. Because it came from you,”

Y/N smiles and didnt say anything, moving closer to him and take his hand, her thumb carresing the back of his hand before the other carressed his cheeks. Her eyes look into his deeply, as if trying to remember his face one last time. Taehyung feels panic rising in his chest but keeps on smiling.

“My gift for you Taehyung, is a bit special. Since its our 10 years anniversary,” she looks down for a moment before lifting her eyes to look back into his, glazed with tears. “I’m giving you your freedom,”

“What do you mean? What freedom?”

“I’m breaking up with you Tae,” Y/N smiles softly, tears are again cascading down her cheeks.

“Breaking up?! What?! Baby no! I-”

“Listen to me!” Y/N raised her hand to stop him from talking. “I’m breaking up with you Tae, so you dont have to. I know about you and Yerin and I also know about how long it has been going on,” Taehyung felt all the blood is gone from his face as he tries to grab Y/N’s hand but she flinched away. “I’m giving you freedom from me Tae. So you dont have to cheat anymore. Go to her,”

“Baby no! I’m sorry!” Taehyung is also crying now. “Baby, I swear. Its a mistake. I-”

“Its not a mistake when it has been going on for more than a year Tae,” Y/N gave him a small smile. “I can see your face Tae. Your exhaustion whenever you are with me. How forced you feel when you have to come back to me when all you want is to be with her, right? Its alright. This is my final gift to you. You dont have to feel bad anymore. And I wont put this against you,” Y/N nods and pulls out something from behind the couch, her luggage that Taehyung recognized so well. He recognized because they bought it together. The stickers on it a reminder of all the places they have been together, creating memories, but now all torned up, leaving the surface if the luggage empty. Is she throwimg all their memories away?

“No. No! I’m not letting you go! Y/N, I’m sorry. I know. I know my mistake is too huge to be forgiven, but give me a chance to redeem myself. Just dont leave me, plesse baby,” he pleaded, begging desperately.

“I cant do that Tae. Every night when you didnt come home I cried in my bed, my head spinning, thinking if you are with her tonight. Thinking if you are doing the things you used to do with me. Are you happy with her? Are you sleeping soundly in her arms? I cant do that anymore Tae. I’m sorry but I cant,”

“I swear Y/N. Its over. Its really is over! Its you. You are the one I want. The one I love!” Taehyung tries to pull her back when she tries to wheel her luggage out the door.

“Tae.. I keep on thinking, wondering. Is there anything else that I could have done, that I should have do to prevented you from doing it… but I cant think of anything. I have given you my everything Tae bur its not enough,” Y/N sobs. “I realized it now. Im not enough. A-and this is the last thing I can give you to proof how much I love you,”

“If you love me, please dont go Y/N. Please dont. I will change. Ill do anything you want, please Y/N. I love you, I love you,” Taehyung is already on his knees, hugging her waist but she peeled off his hands that di wrapped around her.

“You dont love me Tae. If you do you wouldnt have done it. There must be something about her that makes you keep coming back… and I’m giving you the freedom to enjoy that with her. That is my last gift to you,” Y/N pushed his hands away and with tear stricken face turn to him one last time. “Happy anniversary Tae, you know I love you, but my love alone is not enough. You will be happier without me. Goodbye my love,”

And with that, Y/N walks out, never looking back.

Baby, you look happier, you do I knew one day you’d fall for someone new But if he breaks your heart like lovers do Just know that I’ll be waiting here for you

“Its been years Tae… you need to accept the fact that Y/N is happy and she is getting married okay?” Jimin sympathetically looks at his friend. “You want her to be happy dont you? And look at her Tae,” Jimin points to the front, where the main couple of the engagement party stood. “She looks so happy. Jungkook makes her happy, and you know that. He treats her right. She has been happy ever since she met Kookie at the bar,”

Taehyung look at the newly engaged couple in front of the room, Jungkook pulling Y/N, his now fiancee, in for a kiss as she blushes shyly and gave a weak smile towards Jimin.

“She doesnt just look happy Chim,” Taehyung said, making Jimin turned to him,curious as to what his friend is going to say. “She looks extremely happier. Happier than she ever did with me… and thats a good thing right?” Taehyung finishes off his glass in one gulp. “But I’ll be here Chim. I’ll be waiting for her here, forever. And if I ever be given the chance again, then I’ll make her even happier than that,”

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skywrestledabearonce · 4 years

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I'm tired of age barriers and people saying that age gals are wrong and gross, so let me rant now. For my entire life relationships were nonexistent for me. Not because I was bad at them or ugly or whatever but because I have a hard time finding honest people to spill my soul to and still be accepted.

I grew up with boys older than me and they never seemed to be more mature..man children. I went through relationships with girls and women alike, both more mature in general but still not what I was looking for. Girls were always too needy and women were always too caddy. I didnt find love there but I sure dove down the rabbit hole of passion. I went back and forth between male and female relationships in my age group for a long time and didnt get anywhere past meaningless sex.

I started to feel lost in my age, my experiences, and my lack of. It wasnt until I felt condemned to loneliness did I start to really consider something alternative and frowned upon. I started seeing older people. Now I'm not talking 65 year olds, no graverobbing for me, but older can also mean 25 if you are a 15yr old, so it's all relative. And that's the thought that captured my imagination. The fact that age is relative, a through the looking glass kind of lifestyle.

I started fast, I went to my local dive bar, had a few drinks, and played darts until some hot milf stumbled my way and called me cute. I'd usually go home with her. Eventually my place quickened and I'd snag older women and men, 2 at a time some times, from the bar to go eat eachother in the next door outdoor hotel hottub afterhours. This was thrilling for me, feeling praised just for my innocence and lack of crows feet! That soon faded to shame as I realized how desperate I must have been coming off. Waiting at the bar every night like a lost puppy dog waiting on its master.

I took some time off from the bar scene after that, settled into my job. At this point my job was kind of up in the air as well, I was working at festivals as hired security in my time off to try and get a foot in the production. I shrunk back into my own head with psychedelic experiences and tried not to push my sexual agenda on the world. That was awesome and a great learning experience but it still made me feel lonely. Only after I had let go of sexual expectation entirely did I happen to meet the man I stand with today. I didnt know it then of course.

2 years of festival work and I finally got myself a position on the roof building crew, my boss was firm, build strong,and at times, very aggressive. He really wasnt my type. He was older, 36 to my mere 21, but he seemed light at heart. We worked alongside eachother for 2 days, me subtly building up my interest and the confidence to flirt. I didnt know where my interest had spawned, he didnt even have any tattoos! But alas I couldn't shake my feelings and I wanted to make a move but couldnt. I had done so much selfloating recently that I couldn't find myself attractive and thus could not project sexuality of any sort toward this person I was developing feelings for.

The other 2 gentleman that had been on the crew for years saw a bit of my struggle and out of their own self interests, invited me out to go dancing that night. I of course, pregamed with a half a bottle of tequila and half drunkenly guilt tripped the boss into heading out with us. He did, and I proceeded to very drunkenly at this point, dance all over him in a bikini and a fur coat until 3am.

By the end of the night our coworkers had realized who I had eyes for and did an Irish goodbye before I could follow them back to camp. My boss offered I stay in his tent since mine was a mile or so walk back and given my outfit, I obliged. That night, he didnt take me as a begging little girl or a drunk horny women. He looked me in my eyes and very meaningfully asked me if he could kiss me.

It was the most amazing feeling, to not judge them for being themselves and to not be judged in return. I'm sure that night I came off trashy and needy but he asked my permission as if I had a crown atop my head and a flawless track record. At the time I didnt know his age, not he mine. It was a moment shared between two people who met somewhere they both enjoy, they went dancing, and the made whoopy under the stars.

The next day he woke up and left early to get me flowers and a drink. When I woke up I thought he was gone, he found me walking down the hill back to my camp. He dragged me to his favorite hammock spot and we watched the sunrise together, swinging in the wind. Somewhere in all of it I started feeling inexperienced in comforts like this is and I tried to tell him my age, trying to shorthand myself before I even knew it. He said he knew already and that I had seemed an old soul when we met, he didnt care. He tried to explain away his age, as if he knew it would ruin it for me. It didnt. We were just two people, of any age, of no age, that met and fell in love because of our similar interests.

It took me another 2 years to come to terms with telling my family and friends that I was seeing an older man. Some of my friends called me golddigger and never spoke to me again. Some chose to speak about me behind my back and sour my reputation around my hometown. My family did the same. He was also abandoned by his friends and family, some of whom left us voicemails detailing what a "homewrecking whore" I was and telling me to go back to daycare. We felt so alienated by the people in our age groups, our friends, the ones that were supposed to get us and have our backs. The only time I felt listened to was with this older man and finally I just gave up.

I said "fuck em". My prince charming and I got a house together, share a dog, and a life and I finally made new friends that let me be me. I look back on days where I felt so lost in the social context of love and relationships and I'm sad I was too wrapped up in "socially acceptable" to get it.

Age is relative, I know that now. It's not about finding someone your age you can get along with and have kids with. Its finding that one soul out there in earth that gets you and likes you anyway. World experience can come to a person quickly because of troubled pasts, like mine, or slowely because of a sheltered upbringing.

Age doesn't make you wise, it's the experience gained in that time, the acknowledgment of one own successes and failures over time and time again. That means that people mature at different rates, grow faster than others, discover areas of themselves years before or after others even dream of trying.

Now I'm 25 and I have been with the same man for 5 years and counting. It's amazing.

We are 14 years and 5 months apart in age but we understand and love eachother deeply. That's all that counts. We have each others backs.

For anyone that took the time to read this, I hope yall gleamed the point here, being

DONT LET "SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE" OR "POLITICALLY CORRECT" DISUADE YOU FROM TRYING NEW THINGS OR BEIN WITH THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE WITH.

FIND LOVE WHEREVER IT FINDS YOU AND DONT LOOK BACK AT THE HATERTOTS.

THERE IS NO SHAME IN BREAKING THE MOLD, THE ONLY SHAME IS IN BEING MOLDED.

Have a nice day, I feel better now. Time for cake.

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seventhtea · 7 years

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on this website, more of you guys make it seem like girls can do no wrong and every time a girl is mean it's justified.

well. I don't agree

When I was younger I was bullied. I used to come home from school and cry almost every day.

When I was in middle school, there was this group of girls that would talk about me like if I couldn’t hear them. At first, I thought maybe I’m being paranoid and they aren’t talking about me. They are just talking about someone else. It’s whatever. but no. I would hear them say things like “Bonnie is getting fatter than she was when school started.” or “one day Bonnie is going to get so fat she won't fit through the door” or “I can't imagine any one ever liking Bonnie because she's so ugly” after a while I started believing them. I hated myself before the school year was even half over. Around then was the first time I thought about suicide. Can you imagine? A middle schooler thinking about suicide? that's so fucked up. Well, it started to show in how I presented myself because around which made those girls and their boyfriends started calling me the emo girl. They stopped using my name and stopped calling me fat. But they called me emo and told me that maybe I should hurry up and kill myself already since I’m only taking up space that someone better could be having. It was almost impossible for me to get out of bed every day and I dreaded walking to the bus from my house.

By the time I got to high school, I thought this will be different. The first high school I went to was huge. I had a few friends in middle school and most of them went to the same high school as me. One of them was this girl that had a boyfriend for almost a year by the time we started high school and it was amazing. I thought it was so cool that she found someone so early in her life that she wanted to stay with. Unfortunately, the guy didn’t feel the same. I went to this party that the girl invited me to and even though I didn’t want to go, I figured it would be fine. Well, when I got to the party I found the girl and her boyfriend (We will call them Steven and Jasmine). At one point Jasmine told me to wait with Steven while she went to get something and Steven decided that would be the moment to feel me up. He grabbed my ass and I pushed his hand away but didn’t say anything. So he took that as a cue to stick his hand up my skirt. I fought him off for a while but he was bigger than me and she chose then to walk back over. She called me a slut. She believed him when he said I was trying to force him. She told everyone I knew that I tried sleeping with him and that I was ugly so he obviously rejected me. Everyone believed her.

Lucky for me, I moved away not too long after that. So I was only called a slut for a couple months. I moved to Colorado and I thought that since I was going to be in a different state, it will be better. I won't have to deal with the same mean people anymore. At my second high school, there was this girl that was really nice to me. She was the first person to talk to me at my new school and she invited me to sit with her and her friends at lunch. She introduced me to a bunch of new people and I felt like I could be happy there. After a while, she invited herself over to my house and I let her because I didn’t want to do anything to ruin this. so when she forced herself onto me I didn’t fight too much because I didn’t want to lose everything I was finally getting. After about the fifth time, I made her stop. I told her not to come over anymore if she was going to do that because I’m not into those kinds of things. She took it the wrong way. She would show up outside of my house and scream at me outside of my window. She would call my phone nonstop. she even said things like “if I can’t have you, no one can.” I remember being so scared constantly.

I had another “friend” at that school and much like jasmine, she thought I tried stealing her boyfriend. once she started telling people what a slut I was for flirting with her boyfriend, I decided I wouldn’t let it be like the last time. So I did start flirting with him. me and him got along really well after all. we even dated for a while after he broke up with her for being so mean to me without a real reason. so it wasnt just her being mean. I did steal her boyfriend after all. but i wouldn’t have even looked at him if she didn’t start calling me names and telling everyone that I was a dirty slut. I just wanted to do something to make her leave me alone.

Around senior year, I moved to another high school. It was all the way across town with all the rich kids. I only went there because my mom lost her job and we had to move in with my grandma. When I got there, the girls constantly pointed out how cheap all of my clothes were and how old my bags were and how I had to use the free food program because I was to poor to afford the school lunches that were only about 2 dollars a day. most of this I ignored. It was annoying but they werent telling me to kill myself so I was fine. they started doing things like throwing out my gym clothes because they knew I couldnt afford new ones. or they would throw my school bag into the pool. They would push me anytime they walked past me. but most of this I thought I could deal with. but one day, i couldn’t take it and I broke down. You see, me and my brother had this prepaid cell that we shared. We went to the same school and if we needed anything or had an emergency, we would have a way to call our mom. but one day, after gym where the teacher yelled at me in front of the whole class because once again i didn’t have my gym clothes, i went back to my locker and my backpack was spilled out and my phone was gone. This phone was my safety device. It was what I had that would remind me that if i really felt that bad, i could have my mom pick me up and i would be fine. and they took it. It was found later in the toilet of a bathroom two floors down. when i got home that day I cried for hours. I couldn’t understand what it was that I did to make these strangers hate me so much.

the last two stories is about girls from my mock trial club. see, this guy from one of my classes pulled me aside one day and was like hey i know why you look so sad all the time. and i gave him my most unimpressed look and he grins and goes its because you arent in this really cool club. it was so dumb and simple and it made me laugh and i thought i could really be apart of this club if he was in it. i joined the club and i spent hours and hours there and i loved being able to see his smile everyday and then he did something that made me realise he isnt that great. He told me that he really likes me but he also likes 2 other girls just as much and that if we want to be with him, we have to convice him that we are the better one. obviously i wasnt going to get involved. i thought it was ridiculous and i dont like anyone enough for that. but i do hate to lose. I hated the thought of it. so when one of the other girls started calling me names, and told me he would never choose me because i was ugly, i thought there is no way im going to lose to a girl like this. So i told him i really like you also karin is a bitch and when he chose me i felt happy for about two seconds before karin started reminding people that im poor and ugly and fat and that no one would ever love me so the reason i won is because the boy didnt want me to be embarrased or he felt bad for me or something along those lines and i started believing her. every time i was with that boy i would feel like maybe she is right. he doesn’t like me. No one had me as paranoid as she did.

and the last girl. in the club, we had these sort of roles. So, my friend was like the mom. she took care of everyone. she made sure everyone was fed and happy. There was this girl that was like the older sister that everyone went to for advice or to talk about love or whatever. and then there was me. I was the baby of the group. everyone called me baby. they said that i needed the most love and the most attention and that they always just felt like spoiling me. it was great and it was fun and there were days that i genuinely felt loved. But there was this girl. I dont even remember her role in the group, i just remember that she hated that i was the baby. She was constantly trying to convince everyone that i was just acting a certain way so they would think i needed attention. that i was just an attention whore. she convinced some of my “friends” that i was the reason that we wouldn’t make it to nationals and that i should just be kicked out. but the worst was when she convinced everyone that it was my fault that my friend had a break down in the middle of the clubroom. my friend was the third girl from the group above and instead of fighting with me, we ended up bonding over a mutual hatred for the other girl. so when he chose me, my friend was fine with it but she wasn’t ok. She loved him from before i had even met him and so she had a breakdown in the middle of the club and it was my fault. but this girl over here went and told everyone. she told them that i was talking shit about my friend and that i rubbed it in her face and all these other things and this time they all believed her. I tried to go talk to my friend and calm her down but this girl had some other club members block the doors and talk shit if i even walked past. she isolated my friend so instead of feeling better she felt like no one even cared enough to go check on her. she thought that i didn’t care about her enough to go see if she was ok or if she wanted me to walk her home or anything. She was in that room all alone thinking none of us cared because this girl was more concerned with making people hate me than trying to make sure my friend knew how loved she is.

these weren’t the only things that happened, they are just the things that stick out the most and that still fuck with me even though im 22 years old. I still think about these things constantly. I think about how i felt so powerless and so hated and i was still i child when i started wanting to kill myself. So when i see things on this website about how all girls are perfect and they can never do anything wrong and blah blah blah i get really annoyed. because girls can be really mean and really hateful and they can hurt people and you can’t excuse that just because they are girls.

#My Stuff #Text #about me #im exhausted #I don't know what made me think of this tiday #anyways

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