#su bored su rushed su i just wanted you to care as much about making this redemption good as you cared about other things

[jjungkookislife]

Don’t Forget Me

pairing: idol!yoongi x f. reader

genre: friends with benefits to lovers, tiny fluff, smut [18+]

summary: Yoongi is nothing but a tease

wc: 3.3k

warnings: yoongi!, pet names (baby, babe, doll, good girl), marking (hickeys, scratching, biting, bruising), f. masturbation over a video call, dirty talk, unsafe/distracted driving (yoongi is in a rush to get home), degradation, edging and orgasm denial, lots of begging, spanking, unprotected sex, creampie

date: August 23, 2022

Yoongi was a menace.

To you and to his fans.

Yoongi wasn't averse to causing chaos. In fact, he found it amusing to sit back in his studio or his bedroom, scrolling through his social media to see what he'd do tonight.

Bored, Yoongi opens his Instagram, knowing your notifications for all his posts are on. He chuckles at the thought, the memory of your blatant embarrassment fresh in his mind. Out of curiosity one night, he had looked at your phone before posting and watching it light up with his Instagram and Weverse notifications. He laughed as quietly as he could, not wanting to wake you up as you slept beside him in his bed.

The two of you could play this game each time. You both knew you were a label away from being more than friends with benefits. Honestly, he was ready to put a label on it, ready to show you off as his to his friends and family, but he loved this taunting more than anything. He loved how you'd get flustered at the insinuation, as if you hid your feelings well.

You weren't one to keep a secret, much less from him, and often found yourself talking in your sleep. Murmured, I love yous escaping your lips as you slept curled up at his side. Yoongi wanted you conscious when you said those three words to him, wanted them ingrained in his brain until the last of his days. He wanted to look you in the eye when he said them back.

"Yoongi!" your voice is loud as he answers his phone, smirking as he sets it on the stand on his desk.

"Yes?" He hums in response as he switches it to a video call. "What did I do?"

"Ugh," you can't even speak clearly when his gorgeous face appears, hair still fluffy and lips just as pink. "What did you do? What the hell was that thirst trap just now?!"

"Thirst trap?" Yoongi muses, quirking his head. "What thirst trap?"

"Min Yoongi! You live to make us suffer, you know that? This is why you're always getting sued!" you shout, trying to fan yourself as you walk down a hall toward an elevator.

"I haven't actually gotten sued," Yoongi laughs, his head thrown back to give you a glorious glimpse of his neck, and fuck, you want to mark it up. "Besides," Yoongi chuckles as his dark eyes are filled with mirth. A teasing smile appears on his lips. "I don't want my fans to forget about me."

"Forget about you? As if that could happen, you menace!" you screech as you arrive at the elevator. 

"Where are you?" Yoongi questions as the elevator doors open but he knows damn well where you are at.

You roll your eyes at him, your finger pushing the top floor and then the close elevator button, not caring to wait for the person who tries to reach it in time. You smile apologetically as the doors shut in their face.

"I'm coming up," you huff as you run a hand through your hair.

"I'm not home, babe," Yoongi smirks. He shows you his studio and you curse.

"Yoongi," you pout as the elevator doors open and you step out. You head straight for his apartment, typing in the code and letting yourself in.

"Go to my room," Yoongi instructs as he leans back in his chair. You kick your shoes off, immediately stripping your clothes off except for your panties before you're climbing onto his bed.

Once you're settled onto his bed, you look at your phone. Yoongi grins, biting his lip.

"Take your panties off and spread your legs for me, doll. Let me see you," He licks his lips, and your body tingles. You slowly tease a hand over your body, pausing at your breast to pinch your nipple, and give Yoongi a lustful look that makes him curse as you move your hand to the waistband of your panties. You push them down, lifting your hips off the bed to make it easier to kick off.

"Yoongi," you sigh as you spread your legs and lean back on the mountain of pillows. 

"Touch yourself for me, baby. Not too fast, do it slowly," he instructs, voice deep and you think of all those early mornings you were wrapped around him, his morning voice so deep and low that it would make you come all over his cock with just his words. You tremble at the thought, your body flushed as you put your hand between your legs, feeling your arousal.

"So fucking wet," Yoongi groans when you dip a finger in to tease him, smirking when you see how affected he truly is. He bites his lip again, running a hand through his long fluffy hair as he looks at you slowly rubbing your clit. He notes the way you arch slightly. 

"Close your eyes for me, baby." Yoongi commands and you do as you're told, slowly rubbing circles on your clit. Yoongi is quick to mute his phone as he gathers his belongings, lowering the volume as he leaves his studio. He nearly runs to the elevators in his rush to get to the parking garage. He needs to get home.

"Are you thinking of me, doll? Thinking of how good my cock will fill you?" Yoongi asks as he arrives at the parking garage, popping in his earbuds as he gets into his car. 

"Yes, Yoongi! I need you," you moan as you move your fingers down to your entrance, slowly pushing two inside as Yoongi's name escapes you, thighs pressed together. Yoongi curses, his cock hard and aching to be released from his jeans. 

"Don't come, baby. Get yourself ready for me," Yoongi demands as he starts his car, pulling out of his parking spot quickly. He's trying to keep his eyes on the road, but you've spread your legs again, wider than before. Yoongi desperately wishes it was his hand instead of yours. He'd love to fuck you on his fingers, have you soak him and his rings as you come for him, squirming and screaming as he makes you come again and again until you're pushing his hand away. You'd take his fingers in your mouth, lick them clean and suck them dry before he'd pull you into a kiss, all teeth and tongue as you climb on his lap. 

He'd lay you on the bed, wrap your legs around his hips and stuff your wet cunt full of him. 

Fuck, he needs to get home.

The obscene squelch of your soaking wet pussy brings him back to the present. You've got one hand on your left breast, the other rubbing your clit, crying out for him as you edge yourself, legs shaking as you arch and almost fall over the edge.

"Good girl, don't you come," Yoongi insists with a smirk.

"Yoongi, I can't hold off much longer," you admit sheepishly, too overwhelmed by your touch and his photos. It honestly didn't take much to get you going, but you usually had Yoongi to get you off. In fact, before he had posted those sinful photos on his Instagram, you were going to ask him to dinner to have The Talk.

"Just a few more minutes," he urges, making sure your eyes are still closed as he pulls into the parking garage of his apartment building. He rushes to park and get into the elevator, hitting the button repeatedly. He looks at his phone as he leans against the wall when the elevator doors finally shut. He pushes his hair out of his eyes, wipes the sweat from his brow, and ignores the twitching of his cock when you moan his name.

"Yoongi," you breathe as you rub your clit again, body arched and a glorious sheen of sweat present. You're near the edge again and Yoongi curses the elevator for going so slow.

"You can touch as much as you want but don't forget about me, baby. Open your eyes for me, doll. I want you to look me in the eyes and edge yourself one more time for me," he commands as the doors open on his floor. 

"Yoongi, I don't think I can," you moan as you fight the urge to come. "I need to come. Please."

"Hold on just one more minute, baby," Yoongi types the code and the door opens. He's been watching long enough, torturing himself by not being able to touch, and now he's just feet away from getting to touch you, to kiss you, to fuck you. The thought leaves him salivating as he kicks his shoes off.

"Yoongi!" you groan as your head is thrown back on his pillows. You've made a mess of his sheets already. He can already tell they're ruined as he ends the call.

"Yoongi!" you scream in annoyance.

"Did you think I'd leave you hanging?" Yoongi smirks as he steps into his bedroom with hooded eyes. He licks his lips as he takes you in from your flushed cheeks to your heaving chest and quivering thighs. You're a sight, a true beauty as you part your legs and welcome him in.

Yoongi is quick to strip, kicking his jeans off and pulling his shirt over his head before he's pushing his black boxers down his thighs to pool at his feet.

"Do you know how hard it is to drive while you're touching yourself and moaning my name?" Yoongi breathes a laugh. "I couldn't get here fast enough."

"I thought you weren't coming," you whimper as your eyes roll back.

"And leave you here all alone? When that pretty mouth of yours was begging for my cock? Never."

"I wasn't begging," you mutter.

"What was that? Make you edge yourself again?" Yoongi jokes just to hear you whine as your thighs clamp shut and your breathing grows heavy. 

"Don't you dare, Yoongi! I've been good for you," you say in between shakes of your body.

"I know you have, doll. Tell me, what was it about my pictures that got you so wet and horny?" Yoongi places a ring-clad hand on your thigh and you nearly malfunction, forgetting for a moment that he's asked you a question.

"You really have to ask?" is your snarky remark that makes Yoongi smack your thigh. "Fuck, yes."

"Such a little pain slut, huh? I haven't even gotten started," Yoongi palms his erection as he looks you in the eye, licking his pretty petal pink lips. 

"Yoongi, please just shut up and fuck me. Haven't I suffered enough? You post your pics looking hot as fuck, showing your pretty lips, your fluffy hair, and that look in your eyes that screams 'fuck me' and you expect me to be dry? Do you expect me to be unaffected when I know what your moans sound like? When I know how good you can fuck me?" You click your tongue, rolling your eyes.

Yoongi chuckles as he climbs over you, settling between your thighs. He wraps his hand around your wrist, bringing your fingers to his lips. Yoongi makes sure your gaze is on him as he presses your wet fingertips to his lips, opening his mouth to take them into his mouth. His wet tongue licks over them, and in between, loudly slurping when he sucks them clean. You clench around nothing, moaning softly as he finally releases them, your essence heavy on his tongue.

"Delicious," he grins devilishly. "Here, taste for yourself."

Yoongi leans over you, releasing your wrist to grab a handful of your hair to pull you into a deep kiss, his tongue tangling with yours. Your body trembles at his touch, eyes shut as you feel him grip your hip and squeeze. "I can't wait to be inside you, baby. This wet pussy is all I've been thinking about. I knew you'd rush over when I posted. I'm so glad I was right. You're just a cock-hungry slut for me, aren't you? Can't wait to jump on my dick when given the chance," Yoongi smiles, his nose pressed to yours. 

You don't say a word because he's right. He's so right.

"Tell me I'm wrong, doll," he taunts as he traces your lips with his tongue. He knows he's got you, pussy soaking your thighs and his sheets. He knows even if you lie, so why even try? You gulp, nodding as you wrap your arms around his neck, fingers toying with the long strands of his hair. You tug on it. Yoongi shuts his eyes, cursing as you pull his hair again. Your lips press open mouth kisses to the length of his neck, teeth scraping the sensitive skin.

"You're not wrong. I've been waiting for you. Don't keep me waiting any longer, please," you beg as you whisper in his ears. "Fuck me, Yoongi. I need to feel your thick cock spreading me open, stuffing me full until your name is the only thing I can say."

"Fuck," Yoongi growls, pushing you back onto the bed. His lips are merciless as they kiss you, his large hands gripping and groping every inch of your body as his cock rubs against your thigh until he's gripping it. "You're so wet, baby."

You watch his hooded eyes as Yoongi presses the head of his cock between your folds, collecting your arousal on the head and smacking his cock on your clit a few times. Cursing, your hands grip the sheets beneath you as you beg him to fuck you. You've been teased enough. You can't take anymore. Your legs tremble with anticipation. 

"Please."

Yoongi pecks your lips, nodding as he strokes himself, using your wetness for an easier glide before the blunt head is pushing at your entrance. With a curse and an arch of your back, he's pushing in. 

"Shit, I always forget how fucking thick you are," you rasp as you feel the delectable burn of the stretch. Yoongi chuckles, apologizing as his perfect lips plant kisses on your jaw before trailing them to your neck. His bare chest rests on yours. Your fingers run through his pretty hair, begging him not to cut it any time soon.

"Why? You like something to hold on to?" he asks as he nips your skin, leaving a mark behind that he traces with his tongue. 

"Yes," you breathe. "Gives me something to hold on to when I sit on your face," you smirk.

"Fuck," Yoongi curses as his lips trail kisses down the valley of your breasts. Your fingers continue to run through his hair as he wraps his lips around a pert nipple, taking it between his teeth to gently tug on it before he's swirling his tongue over it. 

"Yoongi, fuck me," you plead and he chuckles.

"Yes, doll." He gives you one last kiss before he's on his knees, grabbing your legs and tugging your ass onto his thighs. You feel him deeper and you say so, eyes squeezed shut as he plants your ankles on his shoulders. He turns his head to kiss your foot and you laugh, telling him it tickles.

"Sorry, doll," he smiles as he grips your hips, nearly bending you in half as he pulls out except for the fat tip of his cock and slams back into you without warning. You moan loudly, grasping the sheets with one hand and digging your nails into his thigh as he does it again and again. You shake with each thrust, crushed between him and the mattress as he fucks you hard and deep. Your legs feel like jelly when his fingers rub your clit. You gasp, legs falling at your sides before he's on top of you, your legs around his waist.

"Take my cock, doll. Isn't this what you wanted? Hmm?" he asks cockily. "Isn't this what you were begging for? To be stuffed by my fat cock until you cream on it?" 

"Fuck, yes! I was, but fuck, it's so big," you groan as you feel him deep in your abdomen and see stars when your eyes flutter shut. Your nails dig into his back, ignoring his chuckle as he continues to fuck you before he's flipping you onto your front, gripping your hips to pull you onto your knees. You arch for him, moaning when his cock fills you once again. His hands grip you tight enough to bruise, hoping his imprint is left behind as a reminder of the great fuck you got over some selfies.

You were in deep.

But you would have come running for less.

"That's it, baby," Yoongi groans. His fingers rub your clit faster, adding more pressure, and you meet each of his thrusts. Your body is hot, sweating as you take his cock, flushing with embarrassment at every wet squelch that fills his bedroom. "I fucking love this wet pussy. It was made for me, fuck."

You bite his pillow, trying to muffle your moans but they grow louder and louder the closer you get to your orgasm. Yoongi can feel the pulsating of your pussy, can feel the trembling of your thighs, and hear you gritting your teeth as you try to be quiet but you end up screaming his name when his hand smacks your ass. 

"Make me come," you plead as you look at him from over your shoulder. Yoongi nods, quickening his pace and jack hammering into you, mesmerized by the jiggle of your ass. He licks his lips, grunting when he looks at his cock disappearing into your cunt, his cock soaked with your wetness. Fuck, he can't wait to have you come.

Your arms give out and you fall face first into his pillow, your hand pushing his off your clit as he grips your hips. You need to come now. You've had enough denial and waited long enough. You're panting as your body heats up, pleasure coursing through your veins, and Yoongi's name heavy on your tongue as you cry out for him. He's fucking you hard, hips slamming into your ass over and over again as his head lolls back, pleasure coursing through him as you tighten around his cock. He's panting, ignoring the sweat that runs down from his temple, his hair clinging to his damp forehead as he moans your name. 

"Yoongi!" you shout when your orgasm hits, thighs hurting and shaking as you lift your head to take in a big gulp of air as your pussy clenches around Yoongi's cock. He falls apart, cursing as he cums inside you. He continues to thrust into you slowly, grinding his hips into your ass as you milk him dry and he's falling over you.

"Fuck, doll," he pants as he rolls off you. His hand reaches out for yours and you lace your fingers with his.

"Agreed." you giggle as you lay beside him, turning on your side to face him. He does the same, eyeing you curiously when you reach out to push his hair out of his eyes. You then move your hand to cup his cheek, your thumb tracing his lips. "Pretty."

"You think I'm pretty?" he asks softly.

"Very much so," you answer honestly as you maintain eye contact. You ignore the fluttering of your heart as you press a gentle kiss to his lips.

"You know, you always murmur something in your sleep," Yoongi says casually, giggling when your eyes widen.

"I-I do," you clear your throat.

"You do," Yoongi confirms. "And I think it's about time you said it while awake. I'll give you a hint, baby. It's three little words that I've wanted to tell you as well. Can you guess?"

Yoongi cups your cheek, his thumb gently caressing your skin.

"I love you," you whisper shyly.

Yoongi grins widely. "Bingo!"

thank you for reading! ♡ if you liked it, please let me know! 💌

© jjungkookislife - I do not allow reposts or translations of my work on any platforms, this includes Youtube.

#bangtanarmynet #btsgoldnet #btshoneyhive #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader insert #yoongi x you #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x reader insert smut #fwb!yoongi #idol!yoongi au

[hishighnesstheprincess]

MY HATER POST

literally made a hater post just to talk about stuff in the sonic series that I dont like ❤️ if you don't like this post then fuck you block and/or blow me. this is disorganized as fuck btw and i dont care

sonic frontiers was the best mainline sonic game in over a decade but thats really not saying much

i think tangle is kinda boring and whispangle is kinda boring by proxy. whispers cool tho

surge is the best rival sonic character since blaze and the only thing dragging her down is that sonic in the idw comics kinda sucks as a character

its great that we are getting more female characters in idw and the games but quite a lot of them are kinda boring and we still need more female villains

metal sonic is basically nothing but a jobber in idw rn and its really depressing

idw please treat the babylon rogues better, theyre goofy characters with serious storylines just like basically every other sonic character, stop making them NOTHING but a joke

lanolin is an interesting character, yall just cant handle women who are even SLIGHTLY rude to a fan favorite character

the worst part of idw is that its tied to game canon because they cant shake up the status quo too much or have character arcs for most of the main characters

rouge is ABSOLUTELY a sexualized character and always has been. learn to like a character despite the faults in how they are portrayed or shut up about it

sally was the best canon romantic partner for sonic and you cant change my mind

the second worst part of idw is the titular character himself

i dislike surg/amy because of the age difference andalso the fact that everyone wants to disregard surges character to have her be redeemed

if sega is going to keep teasing son/amy then they should just stop dancing around it and make them canon already, make the shippers happy and get the drawn out agony over with for the rest of us. also age amy up for the love of allthat is holy

also, sega should stop ship teasing ships they have no intention of making canon in general, its shitty and edges into queerbaiting when done with gay ships

the above does not apply to whispangle

idw art is overall much much MUCH better than any other sonic comic and its not even a contest

there are a lot of things i disagree with about the current state and direction of this franchise but we are in a much better place than we were even just two years ago and we should be glad for all this success

the worst parts of archie are the most atrocious things that this franchise has ever put out, in art, storytelling, basic morality, etc.

most of the popular ships in this fandom suck ass

unless sega stops rushing sonic team and actually gives some resources to them we are never going to get better than 7/10 games. corporations are not your friends and you dont have to thank them for giving you a mid product

sega should have been sued into oblivion for the literal seizure inducing state sonic colors ultimate was released in and we should never, ever let them forget it

remain skeptical about every single sonic game until release, we've had "WERE SO BACK" moments before that turned out to befalse

the edm in sonic frontiers cyberspace slaps but isnt as memorable as previous sonic soundtracks

stop ghosting sonics friends (sonic frontiers, sonic prime, sonic dream team) its kinda weird and puts way too much importance on sonic again. this is a good cast, USE THEM

sonic frontiers dlc being hard wasnt a bad thing, the jank, glitches, and lack of fairness were bad things that tarnished the experience

the games have never ever been properly translated from japanese into english and that is just an objective fact. but also dont shit on people for only having interest in the english version, you have to go WAY out of your way to get a good translation and that's on the franchise, not the fans

this franchise's "canon" has been fucked since the original classic games, trying to fix it in the sense that you can somehow make every little detail perfect is a lost cause. just pick and choose what you like

of all the characters that deserve a game to themselves blaze deserves it the most. girlie has a whole other dimension that we could explore can you IMAGINE an open world game in the sol dimension COME ON

if lots of people are criticizing something you like then you should give some consideration to the fact that they may have some points instead of just disregarding it as people being nitpicky and nasty. you dont have to listen to it but if you dont do that then you cant dismiss it out of hand either

the stories of sa1 and sa2 arent even the best stories in this franchise

06 sucks ass and no amount of "potential" means jackshit when it comes to actual quality. if we're just evaluating "potential" then congratulations everything ever made is a quality product have fun with that

its okay to games with goofier and lighthearted stories

team dark are just friends

i prefer amys hammer to the cards

let this franchise have its edge back. but also let sonic be cute. they arent mutually exclusive

keep good physics and momentum in the games for the love of god please its what this franchise was built on

sega of japan may do characterization better but the closest brushes to death that this franchise has ever had (Dreamcast, 06, Forces) were all on them as well

this might be the hottest take of all time but sonic team shares some of the blame in how a lot of sonic games turn out very bad, its not all on sega

stating that some sonic-inspired games (spark the electric jester and freedom planet) or sonic fan games (project 06) have turned out better than actual sonic games is kind of objectively correct but youre a dick if you say it just to make sonic fans feel bad about the games or themselves

if you ONLY consume sonic media you need to branch out more. for your own health please

flynn is neither the worst person to ever walk the surface of this planet or gods gift to the sonic fandom, practice some moderation in your opinions people

i think discourse is good, actually. except for when it harms people. and fictional characters do not count as people

sonic frontiers open world biomes are boring and nowhere close to most open world games, even ones from a decade ago

silver was never sonics rival

it would be nice if we could go back to having smaller games on handheld consoles coming out on a regular basis while mainline sonic games come out once every couple of years on a bigger scale and higher quality than weve been getting. and no locking games behind apple arcade PLEASE

sonic lost world isnt a terrible game or a good one. its just weird and boring

sonic riders was fun and its a travesty that it got downgraded into generic cart racing games

sonic unleashed daytime stages are the best boost stages in this entire franchise because they actually rely on quick decision making and reaction times instead of just smashing your way straight through the entire level with little to no effort

the werehog combat sucks ass and the fact that its super slow and super long and takes up like 75% of the time youre playing the game is why unleashed isnt peak. sorry

stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill STOP IT

a lot of fans of sonic do not understand what they are talking about and that includes me a LOT of the time

sonic himself cant just be whatever the writer wants him to be. the reason characters are characters is because they have certain character traits and you cant just change that without getting a different guy, im sorry

archiehad the worst moments but the sonic movies are the worst adaptation overall

the above will change if movie 3 kills off shadow or tom. then the worst adaptation will be underground

game sonic being a static character is cool, actually

sonic fandom is sexist as fuck and that includes the tumblr side of it

sage getting revived in a post credits scene was lame. give us more time before confirming shes alive

the sonic twitter takeovers are not canon. no, not even if you think a thing they said on it was funny

they should let female characters be naked (dont make this weird) and give the boy characters outfits sometimes

amy having a crush on sonic is totally fine but they took it WAAAAAYYYYYYYY too far at many, many points. i dont care if its funny amy threatening chris in x or intimidating cream in various games (battle, rush) was NEVER a good thing

rouges design does not need to be changed, it needs to be framed and posed in less sexual ways

rouges heroes and prime outfits sucked ngl like just from a color and design standpoint like theyre kinda ass and overcomplicated and an eyesore

if sega is gonna age the characters up they should actually go ahead and post the new ages on some official channel, dont just leave us in this horrible limbo where we have to argue with weirdos online about who youre morally okay to thirst over certain characters and whether a different voice counts as a character becoming an adult

the fact that the main official english sonic account only posts memes and advertises hilariously overpriced """"""""products"""""""" kinda sucks tbh. i have to go to other language accounts to get stuff like concept art and celebrating the anniversary of a game the released a year ago. were well past the era of laughing at sonic just for being sonic, now lets act like it

stop harrassing people involved with this series even if theyre doing an objectively bad job. thats a real person and you should care more about them than you do a fictional character

the above DOES apply to ken penders. hes a piece of shit but still a person

criticism =/= harrassment. this goes both ways

cream IS a hero thank you very much

reference to a thing you like does not equal good character writing. critically, it does not equal bad character writing either

amys not a damsel in distress and hasnt been in over 20 years. if we count characters just getting captured as being damseled then congratulations, sonic himself is a damsel in distress (Forces), apply that shit equally across both genders

ryan drummond was the best english va, but jason got the better scripts. roger is getting better and most of the work hes been given is just. bad. so i dont feel okay judging his work. but he is my least favorite

gameplay>story when it comes to the actual games, every time. if you have a good story to tell its only hampered by being in a shitty game

worst game in the series is sonic colors ultimate. say what you will about 06, forces, rise of lyric, or whatever other game. at least they werent literally physically dangerous to play

all the main female characters in the games are asskickers, they just need to be utilized more. as does every member of the supporting cast

the sonic franchise fucking needs to stop having long gone ancient civilizations. please have new ideas

this is the end of the list. go away

#sonic #prin posts #sonic posting #long post #hating #trigger warning for uh. hating ig

[tumblunni]

Ehh i think i finally summed up why all of this steven universe diamonds stuff has been so underwhelming.

YES you can redeem a villain

but you have to

actually

TRY

Yes you can write a story about the world’s most fuckin horrible person being really actually sad at heart

Yes you can write a story about an abusive parent actually being able to change

Yes you can write a story about some wild genocidal alien civilization of asshole space rocks actually only doing it because something something societal pressure DESPITE BEING THE ONES IN CHARGE WHO SET THE DAMN RULES I GUESS

But fucking hell its not gonna be EASY and you shouldn’t treat it that way.

All of this shit was SO fucking quick?? And everything else WASNT!

You spent SO long hyping up these guys you spent SO long convincing us that they WERE evil and that they had entirey different motives for what they were doing and EVEN WITHIN THIS FUCKING EPISODE you spent more time showing us White Diamond being absolutely ridiculously existentially horrifyingly awful and refusing every offer everyone gave her to help and refusing every chance and fucking fucking goddamn violating people’s entire minds and just.. fuck.

After all that you cant just fuckin have steven walk up to blue and yellow and say “hey everything you did was bad” and them go “GEE WE NEVER KNEW!” for some reason this time they’re convinced in a single sentence despite it being the same sentence steven said before in every damn episode and pink said to them years before and every person they abused and enslaved and mutilated and KILLED said while they were DYING

And you can’t fucking have white diamond never redeem herself and never change and never admit she’s wrong and steven SOLVE IT WITH FUCKING FIGHTING WHILE SAYING HE DOESNT WANT TO, WHILE THE ENTIRE SHOW TRIES TO CLAIM THE REASON THEY ARE DOING IT THIS WAY IS BECAUSE OF PACIFISM

because seriously he?? just defeated her?? and this made her?? change???

redeeming a villain shouldn’t be easy. redeeming a villain has to have the villain TRY. white diamond has done nothing to prove she really has a heart, prove that she really did all this for sympathetic reasons, prove that she’s able to change, AND ESPECIALLY NOTHING TO MAKE IT UP TO ANY OF THE PEOPLE SHE’S HURT

she just got defeated and basically admitted she’s wrong cos she has no other choice. and i guess her blushing because steven issued a SICK BURN to her is meant to be enough proof that her entire motivation so far has been because of self confidence issues forcing her to put up a false front aka her entire personality we saw so far. If you wanna tell me she’s entirely different to what we saw so far then please could you please give it more screentime than twelve goddamn seconds.

This is like how yellow and blue just suddenly were accepted as part of the family and steven agreed to go with them to homeworld literally just because they realized he “is really pink diamond”. Like they never fucking repented or actually learned to empathise with humans or ever explained why they dont empathise with humans no nope the only answer we got is that they were sad about their sister/daughter/friend dying even though they were already doing all the same evil stuff before that and its what caused her to leave in the first place. no we’re gonna just completely trust them instantly and not even continue making an effort to convince them? we’re gonna trust them so much we’re gonna trust that white diamond will also change just cos we beat her up? COS SERIOUSLY STEVEN FUCKIN DEFEATED BLUE AND YELLOW IN A FIGHT AND THATS THE END OF THEIR ARC, HOW IS THIS PROVING THE POWER OF PACIFISM!! beating everyone up and then saying the same singular sentence again and somehow now it works!! or saying “my mum was pink diamond” and it doesnt convince them but hey if we say it again with magical proof its true then i guess it works now. wow that sure does argue the power of words i guess

everything EVERYTHING they did was just a fuckin misunderstanding cos they dont UNDERSTAND they were doing bad and thus they dont have to face any form of consequences beyond being mildly embarassed i suppose.

if you wanna make that the ending then you need to work to disprove all the hours you spent implying that.. yknow.. they were doing things because they were evil

and even if theyre sympathetic they still did evil things and they still need to work to prove that theyve changed

and ESPECIALLY if you’re making a show very heavy on subjects like LGBT discrimination it shouldnt be FUCKIN WOW UNEXPECTED that the audience would see this plot as a metaphor for stuff like homophobia and abusive parents and.. yknow.. societal oppression in a law system that forces you to live in the closet in constant fear of being discovered and killed. and all the other apparantly accidental undertones of racism and extermination of indigenous people in stolen land which YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED PEOPLE TO SEE WHEN THE PLOT IS LITERALLY EXTERMINATING PEOPLE TO STEAL THEIR LAND

all of that means you need to do MORE work to prove that that isnt actually what the plot is supposed to be, and more work to redeem villains who are very heavily goddamn triggering to a large part of the vunerable audience YOU SPECIFICALLY MARKETED YOURSELF TOWARDS

this was just so fucking overwhelming and somehow rushed despite being an hour long episode, and i hate it because the show spent so much effort on so much other stuff yet decided to half ass it at the really important part that NEEDED to have thought and time put into it if it was gonna nail the landing

especially after ALL THAT FUCKIN TIME AND EFFORT INTO THINGS THAT ONLY AMPED UP THE VILLAINY AND TENSION OF THESE GUYS AND MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE

like fucking hell how can you be so tone deaf??? this has been in the planning for so damn long and theyve been working on it forever and THIS is what they chose to rush over? this is the priorities they thought were important? even just within this episode if youre struggling to fit it all in then like seriously cut out some of the stuff like the montage of unseen fusion forms that did basiclaly nothing but a few jokes, and the equally as rushed bad lars and sadie romance resolution. Which is another thing that needed a lot of work to fix when the introduction we got to these two was a really unhealthy relationship and a dude who refuses to change despite being given twelve chances but suddenly changes COMPLETELY on the thirteenth one and i guess cos he died that proves he’s all good now. Except he acts all weird and creepy in the very next episode and endangers his new friends by acting all possessive over sadie again and getting angry that she has other friends????

i hate it because ive had to deal with the fandom telling all the people who were rightfully uncomfortable with how these subjects were handled that oh we’re just overreacting and oh wait and see cos they totally have a big plan for the ending or something that’ll make it all make sense. And comparing people being triggered by child abuse and racism to “huhu those dumb su criticals who hate the art style” or whatever...

god, man, its just a deflection of what the issue really is

“oh youre saying NO VILLAINS can EVER be redeemed and NOBODY can EVER talk about dark stuff in shows without being SECRETLY BAD AND SUPPORTING IT IN REAL LIFE?”

no im not saying that im just saying the subjects are fucking depressing to people who’ve suffered from the real life stuff and the villain redemption should be GOOD and should THINK ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE if it wants to make up for it

like fucking hell look at how much zuko from avatar went through before his redemption. look at how long he struggled with his morality and how long it took him to realise he was wrong. look at how much detail they showed us on all the people who negatively influenced him into making the bad choices he did. look at how much he went through to make up for what he did and apologise to everyone he hurt. look at how everyone he hurt didnt believe him at first and it took a while for everything to work out. look at how sometimes he messed up and took steps backward before getting to where he needed to be. and look at how he actually changed as a person and continued learning and growing and trying to be a good person even far into the future after the story ended.

hell, fuckin look at PERIDOT! peridot had a full goddamn zuko arc! peridot had more screentime than all of the diamonds combined, and it was way better utilized! she had a full process from being introduced as a scary villain BECAUSE OF MISUNDERSTANDING WHO SHE REALLY WAS, then being revealed as having a fully rounded personality, flaws and redeemable traits while still being a villain. and moments of her proving that she did indeed only become a villain because she didnt understand what she was doing was wrong, and a personality that matched with that reveal rather than having NO INDICATION she was like that until it suddenly happened only after she was defeated. and her redemption came slowly through friendship with steven and it had moments of the other characters not instantly trusting her and also of her making mistakes and struggling with believing steven’s philosophy when it went against everything she knew about life. and speaking of which it was established that she had a very different life which had negative influences pushing these ideas upon her, and tough stuff that made her scared and pressured. Not just being in a high position of ruling over a planet in the lap of luxury and ONLY AFTER BEING DEFEATED do we learn that they feel pressured by the societal expectation to be perfect and they actually would have agreed all along with dismantling the system but they were just too afraid to be honest. Or whatever the fuck that rushed ending was trying to go for! And man even after peridot joins the team she’s NOT redeemed yet, she’s initially only halfway doubting herself and only teaming up with steven because they’re both afraid of the cluster. And she messes up and says horrible shit to her new friends and feels the consequences of her actions and chooses to change. And her ultimate choice to switch sides is REALLY hard, she gets so close to going back to the diamonds and its a great personal sacrifice on her part when she chooses to give it all up and make an enemy of the person she was so scared of!

and GAHHH that good redemption is one in a million episodes that really set up the diamonds Being Bad and should have been a goddamn tally in the “effort required in the fuckin ending” chart!

could we not have even just had one ten minute episode of blue and yellow going around earth and experiencing human life and realizing there’s things worth protecting? or a few damn scenes foreshadowing white being actually insecure and lying to protect herself, rather than GENUINELY ABUSIVE BECAUSE SHE’S BAD?

and seriously even if you hurt people because you hate yourself YOU STILL HURT THEM

a sympathetic backstory should be a reason why they COULD be redeemed, not proof that they already are redeemed just because the backstory was stated in words and nothing else has fuckin changed.

imagine if zuko just lost one fight to aang and said “yes but my dad abused me” and aang was like “oh no now lets team up with zuko to beat up his dad” and none of the bad things zuko did were ever mentioned again and also he keeps his season 1 personality throughout the entire series

imagine if peridot fuckin.. just changed sides cos she’s funny and we like her. people wantedher to change sides as soon as she acted funny and likeable but they still made the effort to actually prove she had changed! the diamonds didnt act remotely harmless or remotely good until they just suddenly are in the very last episode.

hoo

fucking

ray

also why are we constantly just ignoring all these dark things about homeworld? like the episode with holly blue agate and the famethyst slave caste and all the creepy ways the entire place operated. i totally thought thatd.. yknow.. EVER BE REFERENCED AGAIN?? its never even mentioned that anyone even WANTS to go back and save them?? and the human zoo were outright stated to be like.. unsaveable. “oh theyve never known real human life and theyre happy in their slavery so itd be cruel to take them away from it” One off episode, forgotten about. And the creepy as fuck scenes of gems being BUILT INTO THE WALLS AND DOORS AS SECURITY SYSTEMS and the confirmation that more lapis situations are constantly going on yet somehow that singing hairbrush person doesnt get all the sympathy that she did. And steven going daww at the pebbles instead of being horrified that theyre born to work as servants and forced to live in the walls because the noblewomen dont want to look at them? and he asks them to make him a new outfit?? and theres no plot anything involving them except them puttering around in the background outfitting?? like was none of this meant to be seen as PROOF THAT THE DIAMONDS WERE EVIL and PEOPLE WHO NEEDED TO BE SAVED????

goddddd

please say they were rushed or something please say this is all the faultof being given less time than they expected please say there were other plans for other episodes we didnt see that would have given at least slightly more substance to any of this

also why wasnt this even advertised as the last episode if its the last fuckin episode

hhhh well at least obsidian was a great character design and so were the other fusions and new outfits even if they only appeared for twelve seconds. and white’s whole scary evil mind invasion stuff was really good even if it actually hurt the episode by being good, kinda

man im not even mad or anything i just feel mehh and bored and like im actually glad its over. i never wanted to feel that way about a show that used to be so good. i kinda wish the earliest episodes werent so good if the answers to all those well set up mysteries were gonna have so much less effort than the setup itself

...man i should make a whole post about all the mistaken ways i THOUGHT the show was gonna go that actually would have been way more interesting than the real answer.

i’m just super glad that my last theory was wrong cos wow that would have been the only thing worse than this ending! when white pearl first appeared before we’d actually seen white diamond, and it had all this thing that white diamond hadnt been seen in ages.. well i was worried it was setting up some sort of reverse twist where actually white pearl is bodysnatching white diamond instead of vice versa. So the whole evil empire would actually be run by a member of the slave class that its oppressing, and the diamonds/representative of the upper class would actually be poor victims all along. dear god i am so glad i got that wrong! tho im weirded out by how evil white/pink pearl looked in that first hint that she was originally pink pearl??

anyway basicallly im just so fuckin tired

#su spoilers #su critical #more like su dissappointed from someone who started off so damn su positive #su bored su rushed su i just wanted you to care as much about making this redemption good as you cared about other things #it really felt like in general the crewniverse just lost interest in the story around the third hiatus or so #whyyyy did they take so long to reveal anything if all the reveals were gonna be so fast and so bad #you gotta learn that if you hype up a thing you actually have to deliver #like fuckin hell it took a whole season to even introduce a single other gem at all #and so long to introduce homeworld and so long to introduce the diamonds and then whoops blink and its over i guess #also why was jasper hyped up so much and then shitcanned for practically a decade #and her only narrative purpose in the end was just a brief hint at the pink diamond arc

[autumnscribbles]

cheap wine | b.s

requested by anon! (thank you i love this!!)

summary: y/n’s friend brad is jealous of her friendship with colby brock, leading to one night where he can’t keep it to himself anymore

word count: 1.8k

warnings: little bit of suggestive language, i wrote smut but it was really bad and i hated it so i adjusted LOL

a/n: i finally managed to write a long dish imagine!! i love me some jealous brad :) keep sending requests, i love them! i hope you enjoyed, i had fun wiring this one

                                                       ~

Brad sat on the couch across from you, eyes boring into Colby as he tickled you on the black couch of your apartment. You had invited some friends over for drinks, movies and board games, just wanting a chill night with your friends. It was a nice change of pace from the LA parties you both always ended up at.

Brad, hoever, was hoping that Colby wasn’t going to show up today. Of course, he did, being your best friend. Brad’s jealousy seemed to course through his veins, plastering on a fake grin every time your eyes managed to catch his. 

You squealed as Colby picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder as he ran around the room, your giggles and shrieks filling the room, everyone else laughing along except Brad. He wanted to be the one to get those laughs out of you, and he didn’t know why he suddenly cared so much.

He had seen you with Colby many times, assuming you had feelings for him, or that Colby had feelings for you. When he found out from a third party that it wasn’t in fact true, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of joy. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint when these feelings began, but now they were full throttle, and Brad had a difficult time ignoring them. Pretending they didn’t exist seemingly just wasn’t working anymore.

Brad stood up, asking Connor who was also invited if he wanted to go grab a drink. Connor agreed and both boys made their way to your kitchen, pouring themselves glasses of cheap wine from the bottles you had laid out across the kitchen island. Brad downed his fast, wanting to forget the feelings he had for you and the jealousy he felt watching you with Colby.

“Woah, mate,” Connor laughed. “You okay?”

Brad downed the drink, beginning to pour another one before answering Connor’s concerns.

“Fine,” he muttered.

“It’s y/n and Colby, isn't it?” Connor inquired, despite already knowing the answer to his question.

“No,” Brad lied. “She can do what she wants, I don’t own her. I just have a hard time believing that Colby doesn’t have feelings for her.”

“I don’t know,” Connor shrugged. “They are really good friends.”

“Whatever,” Brad shrugged. “I have no right to be jealous.”

Brad and Connor grabbed their wine glasses, heading back out to the living room, plopping back down on the couch. 

Your eyes caught his, quickly standing up to go sit next to him after realizing you hadn’t spoken much since he got here. Brad had been more quiet than usual, almost like he was avoiding you.

“Hey,” you smiled, leaning your head on his shoulder quickly.

“Hey,” he replied, putting a smile on.

“Already almost done?” you asked, eyeing his wine glass.

“Yeah,” Brad chuckled. “I guess I’m going a bit fast aren’t I?”

“Nonsense,” you guffawed, waving him off before taking his glass, offering to go refill it at the same time you were going to refill yours. 

As you made your way to the kitchen, Colby followed, skipping happily alongside you. You looked back at Brad, noticing the unhappy look on his face yet again, unsure where it was coming from. Colby noticed you staring, nudging you back to attention as you began pouring the wine into the glasses. Despite the fact that you could afford better alcohol, you liked to stick to your cheap wine, it always made you happy.

“What’s up?” Colby asked, realizing right away something was off in that moment.

“Nothing,” you shrugged. “Brad’s just acting weird.”

“A little, yeah,” Colby shrugged. “Probably because he’s into you.”

“He is not,” you protested, unable to hide the smile creeping onto your face.

“He totally is,” Colby insisted. “And you’re totally into him.”

“I’m not, Colby,” you said, pushing him lightly, making him stumble backwards slightly, already feeling a slight buzz.

Despite your protests, Colby was right. You had developed feelings for Brad. Everyone always assumed you liked Colby that way, but you didn’t. Ever since you met Brad, you found yourself always thinking about him, wondering what it would be like if you two were together. Sometimes you convinced yourself he had feelings for you too, but your tendency to overthink made you second guess it. He was hard to read, and you weren’t very good at reading people.

“Keep lying to yourself,” Colby said, clinking his glass against yours before sipping it.

You sighed, grabbing yours and Brad’s glass and heading back out to hand it to him, feeling yourself loosen up with each sip.

The night carried on, you pulling out the Twister mat for everyone to play. Everyone was already drunk enough that they were all excited about it, friendly competition already starting. After most people lasting a long time, it was just you and Colby left. Your friendship had consisted of many twister games, both of your competitive natures surging.

Brad watched as both of you got tangled in each other, his head foggy from the wine. He had lost track of how much he had already, but it was a lot, and he was starting to accept his thoughts of you rather than pushing them away.

Colby finally crashed to the floor, you screaming excitedly despite knowing all along you would win. You jumped up and down, pointing at Colby and jokingly calling him a loser.

“We get it,” he groaned. “You’re the best at twister.”

“We know,” you grinned, helping him up off the ground. “I’m gonna go pee now.”

You downed the rest of the wine in your glass, planning on refilling it after you went to the bathroom, heading down the hall towards it. Someone had turned up the music you had put on, a smile across your face as you thought about how much fun you were having.

In the other room, Brad had decided to go for what he wanted. He stood up, the wine heading straight to his head as he stumbled slightly, walking down the hall towards where the bathroom was, waiting outside of it for you. He looked back to make sure no one had followed him, but he was in the clear.

You dried your hands off, opening the door to find Brad standing in the dimly lit hallway, looking at you.

“Need to pee too?” you asked, motioning towards the bathroom.

“No,” he chuckled. “Just wanted to be alone with you for a second.”

“Oh yeah?” you asked, raising an eyebrow as you approached him, feeling confident.

“Yeah,” he smirked. “I haven't been able to keep my eyes off of you, and it’s really hard to keep my hands off of you too.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks, not expecting him to say that in the slightest. You had really thought Brad was upset with you or attempting to avoid you all night, maybe this was why.

“What’s stopping you?” you flirted back, taking yet another step closer, now able to feel Brad’s breath against your skin, his lips slightly stained from the red wine you had been drinking all evening.

“I’m not sure,” he mumbled, leaning in closer to you.

Both of you losing your inhibitions, you pressed your lips together desperately. It had been something you had both been thinking of for a long time, the satisfaction seeping through you as you felt his soft lips on yours. His hands reached for your waist, turning around so you were against the wall in the shadows of the corner of the hall, his lips moving hungrily, the kiss deepening.

You reached up, lacing your fingers through his hair, tugging slightly, earning a groan from Brad in return. His tongue teased your bottom lip, and you opened wider, your tongue touching his. He pulled away for a second, you breathing heavily as he moved to your neck, hands moving up and down your sides.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do this,” he muttered, the feel of his breath on your neck sending shivers down your spine. “I have a pretty good idea,” you blurted out.

“I’ve been thinking abut you all day, it was killing me seeing Colby all over you,” he said.

“I only want you,” you breathed out.

“Good,” Brad smirked before you pulled him back to your mouth, hungry for his kiss again. 

You put your hands on his chest, his firm muscles against your hands through the soft fabric of his shirt. You trailed down to his stomach, revealing in the feeling of his body. He did the same to you, hands trailing around you, landing on your ass as he gave it a slight squeeze.

You pulled him closer to you, wanting him even closer than he already was, wanting all of him. You felt his crotch against yours, smiling in the kiss about what you did him.

“I want you so bad,” he groaned.

You took his hand, leading him to your bedroom, kicking the door closed behind you. He set you down on the bed, climbing on top of you as you wrapped your arms back around him, drowning in the kiss and his body. He smelled of cologne and tasted like wine, it was intoxicating.

You reached for his pants, toying with the button when there was a knock on the door, startling both of you.

“Y/n?” Colby asked from the other side of the door. “Are you in there? Just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“Yeah!” you blurted out as quickly as you could. “I’m fine I just wanted to change clothes.”

You facepalmed yourself after saying that, Brad laughing at you. Now you actually would have to change clothes to make it believable. Although, you assumed Colby had some idea about what was going on.

“Rain check?” Brad asked, despite how badly he wanted to go further.

“I guess so,” you sighed. “You can at least take me out for dinner first.”

“Of course, m’lady,” he chuckled. “How’s tomorrow sound?”

“Sounds lovely,” you grinned. “Now get out so I can change and we don’t look suspicious.”

“I think we already look suspicious, love, plus I want to see you without clothes on.”

You shoved him, letting out a laugh.

“You almost get some action and suddenly you’re so bold?” you ask.

“It's the cheap wine, babe,” he nodded. “It’s all about the cheap wine.”

You changed quickly, letting Brad stay in the room, kissing and fondling each other a little more. You wanted to go all the way, but your friends were all in the other room, and you were the host. You took his hand, leaving the room and shutting the door.

“Have fun?” Connor asked, eyeing both of your messed up hair, Brad’s pant button still undone.

“Oops,” you grinned, standing in front of him so he could button it up.

You sat on the couch next to each other, Brad’s hand brushing your thigh, still wanting to be as close to you as possible.

“Not a word,” you pointed at Colby, earning a laugh from everyone in the room.

You looked over at Brad, his soft brown eyes boring into yours. You knew this wasn’t just lust, and that maybe what you’ve always wanted was in the near future. 

Maybe he would be yours.

#brad simpson #brad simpson imagine #brad simpson x reader #bradley simpson #bradley will simpson #bws #the vamps #the vamps imagine #the vamps imagines #connor ball #tristan evans #james mcvey

[seiijohhh]

the slow demise [2/?]

summary: He’d found you coated in blood, surrounded by death, and decided then and there, you were perfect. pairing: megumi fushiguro x f!gojo!reader a/n: this has been reposted from my original account @justauthoring - so, if you recognize it, that’s why. im also tagging those who originally requested to be tagged in it, so they know where to find future parts. tags: @thatprofessionalfangirl - @sugarandsoft - @honeyy-honeyy-sweets - @strawberryflavoredjeans - @flowersbloominthedark - @juliajempire​ - @princess-bumblebee - @sageandberries-png - @yue-caelum - @a–nonymousse - @aryksworld - @godsentkita​ - @kat-su-ki

part one - part two - part three - part four

“How is there only four first years? Isn’t that too few?”

“Well, have you ever met anyone who can see curses before?”

Pausing in thought, the tip of Itadori’s popsicle remains in his mouth, before he tips it towards Fushiguro; “nope.”

“That just proves how small a minority jujutsu sorcerers are.”

Leaning against the railing beside Itadori, you glance away from him and Megumi, taking a moment to gather your surroundings. Gojo has left waiting here for quite a while, and honestly, you were getting bored.

“Also,” Itadori speaks up, pulling your attention back on him. “Didn’t you say I was the fourth?”

“Their entry was decided a while ago.” Fushiguro explains, nonchalant as ever, “you know what our school is like. Everyone has unique circumstances.”

Leaning towards Itadori with a mischievous grin, you hold your hand up to give the impression of telling a secret but don’t bother to lower your voice. “They were trying to find a replacement for me,” you grin, bright eyed at the dull look Fushiguro sends you.

“You were the one who said you’d never been apart of our school in the first place,” he quirks a brow, “how could we replace you, then?”

Blinking at his quip, you’re mainly surprised he’s able to come up with one.

“Moo,” you pout, crossing your arms over your chest. “No fun.”

“Sorry for the wait.”

Blinking at the new voice, your straighten out at the sight of Gojo waving at the three of you. He makes his way steadily over, before pausing, head tilting in curiosity, lips parting; “oh? Your uniforms made it in time, I see.” Then, his eyes drift to you, meeting your gaze. “Though, I’ve had yours waiting in my closet for a while.”

Glancing down at your uniform, you pull at the jacket, eyeing it curiously. The outfit was the same colour as Gojo’s and Fushiguro’s, as expected, a deep, dark purple. Yours was slightly different then your male counterparts however, and you’d found a pair of tight fitting dress pants, a white button up, and a cropped jacket with a high collar at your door this morning.

“Yeah,” Itadori grins, sending him a thumbs up. “It’s a perfect fit. Though it’s slightly different from Fushiguro’s,” he pulls at the material, “it has a hood, for one.”

“That’s because the uniforms can be customized upon request.”

“Huh? But I never put in any requests.”

With a sigh, you cross your arms over your chest, nudging Itadori lightly; “that’s because he did.” And when he turns to look at you, you shrug. “I didn’t put in a request for mine either. Though, I’m pleasantly surprised that mine came with pants.”

Utterly and entirely too proud of himself, Gojo grins at you brightly, sending you a thumbs up; “I thought you’d appreciate not having a skirt.”

And honestly, you can’t argue with that.

“Whatever, I guess,” Itadori shrugs.

“Be careful,” Fushiguro calls out, “Gojo-sensei has a tendency to do things like that.”

“More importantly,” you speak up, raising your head as you poke your head out. “Why are we meeting up in Harajuku?” Just as you finish speaking, Itadori moves to a stand beside you, pulling your eyes on him briefly before blinking back over at Gojo.

“Because it’s what she asked for.”

“Hey!” Jumping at the sudden pike of excitement in Itadori’s voice, you turn to him as he grins excitedly at you. “Popcorn! I want some!” Without any real warning, he grabs you by the wrist, grip gentle but firm, and pulls you along, whilst you stutter in surprise.

“H-Hey! I never said I wanted some–!”

–

“Um… P-Pardon me?”

It takes you half a second to realize that the older man stood in front of you, is talking to you. His lips are curved into a hopeful, somewhat hesitant smile, eyes crinkling at the corners as he regards you. “Are you on the clock right now?”

Your lips part, surprised flooding your features. You take a glance back at Itadori, Fushiguro and embarrassingly enough, Gojo, stood a little ways back from you as they watch on with varying expressions of interests. Itadori just looks curious, maybe even a little lost (and honestly, it’s a little endearing), Fushiguro seems rather annoyed and Gojo? Well, you have no idea.

Despite knowing the man for so many years now, you still can’t really gauge what half of his mischievous looks are about.

“Uh, no, I’m not,” you answer, turning back to the man, before raising your hand with a soft shake of your head. “But I’m not–”

“You see,” he cuts in, plainly ignoring what you’d had to say. So much for being hesitant. “I’m looking for potential models.” You take a quick glance at yourself – what about you currently screams model right now? “This is who I am,” he continues, thrusting a card in your face. “Would you be interested?”

You miss the pair of keen and careful eyes that watch you.

“Sorry,” you bow gently, feeling suddenly incredibly uncomfortable. “I’m not really interested–”

“Oh! Just hear me out–!”

“Hey, you.”

A new voice calls, and your eyes land on a hand that’s latched itself to the man’s shoulders before glancing upwards. You’re surprised to see a girl, your age, in a similar school uniform to your own, instead hers consists of a pencil skirt.

The man turns to her with a startle.

“What about me?”

You blink at her boldness, unable to stop the grin that grows on your face.

“For the modeling gig, dug,” she continues, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m asking what you think about me.”

“Oh, um! I’m in a hurry at the moment!” He offers a small smile, a nod your way, before moving to walk off.

She doesn’t let him off that easily.

Tugging him back by the collar of his jacket, she growls; “don’t run from me! Come out and say it!”

“Please, I’m sorry!”

“Um,” stepping forward, you try to placate the girl in letting the man go, offering a nervous smile. “Maybe you should–”

“Hey!”

Sighing in relief at Gojo’s voice, you move to rush over to him and the boys, falling next to Itadori, and spinning to face the girl with a grin.

-

“Okay, once again.”

Gojo gestures to the new student, and with ease, she moves to introduce herself. “Kugisaki Nobara,” she introduces herself, hand on her hip. “Be happy, boys. There’s now two girls in your group.”

Head tilting, you let out a laugh at the expressions on Itadori’s and Fushiguro’s faces.

A moment of silence passes, Nobara simply just stares at the three of you, though you notice her eyes are solely on Itadori and Fushiguro.

“I’m Itadori Yuji,” Itadori grins, leaning forward as he gestures to himself. “I’m from Sendai.”

“Fushiguro Megumi.”

She stares. Then, huffing: “I always get stuck with unfortunate circumstances.”

“She took one look and sighed,” Itadori deadpans.

“Well,” moving so you’re slightly in front of Itadori, you grin brightly at Nobara. You don’t have many friends, and even less of them are female, so you’re hoping that she won’t have the same reaction towards you. Especially with what happened earlier. “I’m Y/N Gojo, yes, as in Gojo-sensei,” you thumb at Gojo, “but we’re not related by blood, I only took his name–”

“–Hey, how come you didn’t tell me that right away!”

Sticking your hand out, you meet her eyes; “it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

She stares, and you feel your chest tighten in worry. But then, her eyes are brightening and the brightest (and maybe only) smile you’ve seen on the girl since meeting her curls onto her lips as she eagerly takes your hand. “I’m relieved to not be the only girl!”

And it’s like a weight of your shoulder.

“Hey!” Itadori calls, pouting, “how come you don’t like me!”

“Are we going somewhere?” Fushiguro cuts in, clearly tired of the conversation.

Gojo lets out a mischievous laugh; “we do have all four of you together.” He nods to himself. “Not to mention, two of you are from the countryside. So, of course we’re going on a tour of Tokyo!”

Almost immediately, as if on cue, Nobara, Itadori and Gojo all jump together, bright grins and sparkling eyes as they chant; “Tokyo! Tokyo! Tokyo!” Before, Nobara and Itadori move to stand beside each other, hands clasped with sparkling delight. “We love Tokyo.”

Shoving your hands into your pockets, you watch on with a tilt of your head.

“TDL!” Nobara cries, Itadori latching onto Gojo; “I want to go to TDL!”

“Idiot!” Itadori turns to her, “TDL’s in Chiba! Let’s go to Chinatown, Sensei!”

“Chinatown’s in Yokohama!”

“Yokohama’s part of Tokyo! Don’t you know that? Look at a map!”

Nudging Fushiguro lightly, you turn to whisper to him; “he’s not taking them on a tour, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Fushiguro nods, watching the two with disdain on his face. “Without a doubt.”

“I will now announce our destination,” Gojo calls, silencing Itadori and Nobara almost instantly.

“Roppongi!”

Turning to each other, you swear you actually see stars in their eyes; “Roppongi?!”

“I almost feel bad,” you mumble, unable to tear your eyes away.

“Don’t,” Fushiguro mumbles, “they’re idiots.”

-

Staring you at the building that looks quite frankly haunted, you bite your lips.

“There’s a curse here.”

“You liar!”

“You were toying with us country folk!”

With an everlasting grin on his face, Gojo adds; “there’s a bit cemetery nearby. The double whammy of that and an abandoned building brought out a curse.”

With a pat on the back of sympathy for Nobara, who continues to grovel in disappointment, clearly pissed off, you listen in as Itadori speaks up – surprisingly, he doesn’t seem all that upset about the whole lying thing anymore.

“So they really do pop up more often around graves?”

“The issues isn’t the cemetery itself,” Fushiguro explains, “it’s the fact that people associate cemeteries with fear.”

“Oh,” his eyes brighten in understanding. “It was the same for schools, too, wasn’t it?”

“Hold up!” Nobara calls, finally straightening out, “he didn’t even know that yet?”

Scratching at your chin, you let out a nervous laugh; “well…”

“He swallowed a special-grade cursed object?!” She all but screeches as you explain, instantly creating a distance between her and Itadori, disgust clear on her facial expression. “Gross! Unbelievable! That’s so unsanitary and disgusting! No way, no way, no way!”

“What?”

“I agree with her.” Fushiguro cuts in.

“Y/L/N!”

You bite your lips as his eyes fall on you, clasping your hands behind your back while you rock on the heels of your feet nervously. “Um…” You start, voice drifting, “it was kinda disgusting.”

“What?!”

“I want to know what all of you are capable of,” Gojo cuts in, hands in his pockets as he regards the abandoned building. “Just think of this as a field test. Nobara, Yuji, you two go exorcise the curse inside that building.”

Brows furrowing, you turn to Gojo. Why was he..?

“Huh?” Itadori mumbles, “but I thought only curses could exorcise curses, right? I can’t use any jujutsu yet.”

Gojo turns to Itadori; “you’re basically half a curse already,” he reminds. “There’s cursed energy flowing throughout your body. Though controlling that energy isn’t something you can learn overnight, so use this.” Your eyes widen at the familiar looking weapon, if you remembered correctly that belonged to a second year. “It’s the cursed tool, Slaughter Demon. It’s a weapon imbued with cursed energy. It’ll work on curses, too.”

Pulling the cover off the weapon, Itadori eyes it gleaning eyes.

“Lame,” Nobara scoffs, pulling your attention on her as she moves towards the building, pulling a pouncing around the belt hoops of her skirt.

Itadori moves to follow her.

“Oh, one more thing,” Gojo calls, “don’t let Sukuna out. If you use him, you’ll get rid of all the curses nearby in a flash, but you’ll also drag everyone around into it.”

“Got it!” Itadori grins, sending Gojo a thumbs up, “I won’t let Sukuna out.”

“Hurry up now!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Go on, now!”

-

“Man, I finally join the school like you’ve always wanted me to, and you kick me out of my first official mission.”

Letting out a laugh, Gojo sits down beside Fushiguro as you frown down at him. Leaning back, he glances up at you; “sorry,” he grins.

“I still think I should go, though,” you mumble, glancing back in the direction of the building, eyeing it with worry. Biting your lip, you frown; “I mean, Itadori’s still new and everything. And Nobara’s never been in the city…”

There’s an echo of silence, before Fushiguro adds; “I think I’ll go too.”

“Don’t push yourself,” Gojo calls, “either of you. You’re still recovering.”

Huffing, you nudge Fushiguro’s foot lightly, signaling him to scoot over which he does without complain. Falling into seat beside him, your shoulder lightly touches his own, an action that completely misses you, but Fushiguro however does not. And fighting back the faint blush that threatens to grow on his cheeks, Fushiguro distracts himself by turning back to Gojo.

“Y/N’s right,” he mumbles, “someone should keep an eye on them, especially Itadori.”

“True,” Gojo nods, “but the one we’re testing this time is Nobara.”

Complying, you let out a sigh, leaning back on the palms of your hands, tilting your head up to glance at the curse practically oozing from the building.

As you do, you miss the way Fushiguro keeps eyeing you.

“That Yuji…he’s missing a few up here,” he taps his head for emphasis. “He has no hesitation when it comes to killing these things that take the form of living creatures, albeit bizarre-looking ones, to try to kill him. And it’s not like he’s been familiar with curses for a long time, like the both of you.”

You glance at Gojo, meeting his already awaiting gaze.

“They won’t leave me alone!”

“Yes, darling, but… but you’re scaring me… you’re scaring us!”

Shaking your head, a wave of heat rolls off of you, almost pulsating, and it causes those around you to flinch in fear, pushing away from you. You don’t understand, no one will listen to you – they don’t understand. They won’t understand…

You’re not trying to scare them.

“Mama, please, just–”

She holds a hand to you, stopping you from approaching – it feels like your heart might just break.

“Papa,” you turn, swiftly, desperately, but he looks at you with those same eyes. Those same fearful, disgusted eyes and you can feel the tears welling, your sight blurring. “P-Please…” You cry.

“You have to stay away, Y/N. It’s not safe for us.”

“I’m not safe!”

The words leave your voice in a screech, and you hate the way everyone backs away. This is your family, your mother and father, and your older brother and they’re all avoiding you because they’re afraid of you. They won’t listen to reason. It’s not your fault, you’re not trying to scare them – you’re scared…

You’re terrified.

But they don’t care.

“They won’t leave me! They just follow me! I’m not… please, listen to me! Mama, papa, onii-chan!”

It’s useless. They won’t listen.

They’re too scared.

You feel your heart swelling, anger flooding your senses, and the only thing in your head is; they need to understand.

In a second there’s screams. Your eyes snap open to find red, just… red. There’s so much of it, the smell of it floods your senses and makes you feel sick. The monsters that haunt your dreams, that never leave you no matter how hard you try to make them, fly past you in blurs; the red coats them.

The screams never leave your mind.

They never will.

And in the sea of red, amidst your own sobbing, you see a glow of white, and it shines so brightly you think;

that must be my saviour.

The one you’ve been waiting for.

“Yo!”

He pulls his blindfold back, and the sea of blue you see is just so beautiful, your young heart soars.

“So little to be covered in so much blood.”

“–This is a boy who used to live a normal high school life.”

Blinking at the sound of Gojo’s voice, you’re pulled from your thoughts with a startle. Ignoring the pang in your chest and the way it sits uncomfortably heavy, you ignore the sidewise glance Fushiguro sends you, placing your focus back on what Gojo has to say.

“You’ve both seen plenty of jujutsu sorcerers, even those with talent, give up in frustration because they couldn’t conquer their fear or disgust, haven’t you?”

You glance at Fushiguro, and the answer is obvious.

“So today I want to confirm how crazy she is.”

“But Kugisaki has experience, right? Little late for that now, isn’t it?”

“Curses are born from human minds,” Gojo reminds, “so their strength and numbers grow in proportion to the population. Meaning…”

“Is Nobara aware that curses in Tokyo are on a different level than those in the countryside,” you finish with a nod, leaning forward to eye Gojo. Honestly, despite being an annoyance most of the time, Gojo was good at bringing the best out of his students – so you shouldn’t be all that surprised by his tendency to search for the best either.

Still, it shocks you.

“And when I say ‘level’, I don’t just mean the amount of cursed energy they have,” Gojo continues, “it’s their cunning. Monsters that have gained wisdom often force cruel choices upon you…–”

“It’s just a kid… right?”

“–with the weight of human lives in the balance.”

Gojo’s words hang in the air, and, with a frown, you glance over at Fushiguro, only for his eyes to already be on your own.

Without having to ask, you already know why.

“Megumi–”

You’re cut off by the sound of glass breaking, your eyes snapping up towards the building, only for your eyes to widen at the sight of a curse.

Fushiguro shifts beside you; “I’ll exorcise it.”

“Hold on.” Gojo halts,

And Fushiguro almost looks appalled, stood, waiting, a second later you feel the same – only for spikes to appear through the curses body, it’s eyes bulging, and in the next second for it to simply dissolve.

“Nice,” Gojo grins, and honestly, you have to agree. That was impressive.

“She’s crazy, all right.”

-

“I live over there! Thanks again!”

You watch the kid Itadori and Nobara had rescued for a moment longer, even as Fushiguro and Gojo move to walk off. Peeking your head around the corner, a fond, soft smile curls onto your lips at the mother who opens the door. Obviously relieved that he sons okay, she doesn’t waste another second quickly wrapping the small boy up in her arms and practically pulling him off his feet.

You can’t remember the last time you’d felt a mother’s love.

“Y/N?”

Blinking at the sound of Fushiguro’s voice, you turn around, eyes wide at having gotten lost in your own thoughts.

“You coming?” Shoving a hand in his pocket, he tilts his head curiously at you.

“Yup!” You call, popping the ‘p’ as you push back your thoughts. Running to catch up to him, you fall in step with him, bumping his shoulder lightly with a grin to which he turns away, a light dust coating his cheeks, causing you to giggle. He was too easy to tease.

“Good Joseph!” Gojo calls to Itadori and Nobara, who decided to wait on some steps. “We made sure the kid got home.”

Almost instantly, the two stand.

“Now, shall we go grab some food?”

“Steak!” Itadori cries.

“Sushi!” Noabara follows.

With two thumbs up, Gojo grins; “leave it all to me! And, you two?”

You glance over at Fushiguro, rolling your eyes when you notice he’s on his phone, not paying attention. Shrugging, you decide to join in on the fun, pumping your first in the air; “you can’t forget about desert!”

“Of course not!”

“Y/N!” Itadori leans towards you, and you blink at the tears in his eyes.

“You finally understand!” Your eyes widen when Nobara follows him, leaning towards you with an almost proud look.

Tilting your head, your lips part; “huh?”

“Last call, Megumi!”

He continues to ignore Gojo.

“He’s just cranky he didn’t get to do anything today,” you whisper to Itadori and Nobara, giggling when he sends you a glare.

“Well,” Gojo says, voice sickly sweet, “let’s go.” And he simply tugs the three of you along, ignoring Fushiguro, who almost immediately perks up when he notices he’s being left behind.

You let out a laugh as he rushes to join.

“Oh,” Nobara calls, “I forgot about my biggest haul today. You,” she sharply points at Itadori, “go fetch my things.”

“Huh? Why should I do it? I thought we were even.”

“We won thanks to my cursed energy. Got a problem with that?”

“What about my raw strength?”

“Your monstrous power from eating weird shit?”

“It’s not just that,” Itadori cries, “right, Fushiguro, Y/N?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely,” you snort.

He just pouts. “Fushiguro?”

There’s no response.

“Huh? What’s the matter, Fushiguro?”

“Nothing–”

“Y/N said it right,” Gojo laughs, “he’s pouting because he didn’t get to join in.”

Letting out a laugh, you nod; “totally is!”

“Puh, puh,” Nobara giggles, a hand to her mouth, “what a child.”

Megumi lets out a grunt, hiding his face behind his collar as the rest of you collectively let out a laugh. And as you share in the moment, glancing around, you’re starting to forget why you were so adamant on spending life alone.

#jjk #jjk imagine #jjk x reader #jjk series #the slow demise #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen imagine #jujutsu kaisen x reader #megumi fushiguro #megumi fushiguro imagine #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi fushiguro x you #fushiguro megumi #fushiguro megumi imagine #megumi #megumi imagine #megumi x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru imagine #imagine #imagines #my fics #series

[willowcrowned]

Okay but has anyone considered Obi-wan/Cody/Satien (is that how its spelled?) Regardless, hes got two hands for his two mandalorians, the au where this happend is gotta be top notch ridiculous ye?

Okay thank you so much for giving me a reason to think about this, because this AU contains three things I adore: polyamory, ships where everyone is frighteningly competent, and Obi-Wan

In this AU, Ventress is somehow even less well-adjusted (bear with me). What this means is that, instead of taking a gap year and finding herself after her family is brutally murdered, she decides she needs to get revenge even more now. What does this mean? In the short term, she still becomes a bounty hunter, but in the long run? She’s looking for a Sith lord team up so she can punch Dooku (with a lit lighstaber) in his stupid, elitist, backstabbing face.

So when Maul invades Mandalore, what happens? Ventress comes right along, ready to give her ‘I know we hate each other, but consider teaming up to kill someone we both hate even MORE’ space TED talk. And though Maul may be terribly annoying, a closet theater kid, always in a tits out kind of mood, and denying his gay awakening, he’s not stupid. He knows Sidious is coming for him, sooner rather than later, and he knows he needs more people on his side than his (impressively beefy) brother. He and Savage agree to the team-up.

Cue Obi-Wan showing up, ready to save his sort-of girlfriend, and finding Pre Vizsla, who got REAL sus the second ANOTHER lunatic with a red lightsaber showed up, occupied by capturing Maul, Savage, and Ventress. 

Obi-Wan saves Satie, who convinces him to call Cody for a quick evac, and they’re running away, flirting, and arguing over shooting things (as usual), when they spot Ventress, Maul, and Savage, about to be executed.

Oh, they both think, hell no. And then, because they have a stupid moral code that makes them do stupid moral things, they go save them.

A little background on Obi-Wan at this point: He has been fighting in a war for over two years. He is exhausted, close to a breakdown, and seriously questioning his place as a General. Next to him at all times, supporting him, helping him, and saving him, is Cody, who is clever, kinder than he has any right to be, and is, of course, devastatingly handsome when he does his special, unique-to-Cody half-smirk.

Obi-Wan, to put it mildly, is totally gone on him. Obi-Wan also, to put it less mildly, is his commanding officer in an army that Cody can’t leave on pain of death. To do anything— make any advance beyond the flirting that he engages in with most people— would put Cody in a very uncomfortable position, whether or not he returns Obi-Wan’s feelings. So Obi-Wan watches him from afar, hoping against hope that his affections are returned, and that one day, after the end of the war, there will be a future for both of them.

A little more background on Obi-Wan at this point: He has always respected Satine. Their correspondence fell apart just a few months after the end of his mission with Qui-Gon, but he’s been keeping up with her professional accomplishments for years. Over time, the love he bore for her faded, leaving him with good memories and an enduring appreciation for her courage, her cleverness, and her ability to deliver devastating blows to someone’s confidence with a few well-placed words.

Until he sees her again. And yes, alright, he might be angry that she’s choosing to stay out of the war— he knows what good she could do— but he understands her fears, understands the very real possibility that if Mandalore gets embroiled in yet another war, they may never recover. The thing is... well, she’s still very beautiful, especially when he’s yelling at him, and as slowly as his feelings had faded then, they come back in a rush now.

He has very much fallen in love with Cody, and he is very much still in love with Satine.

Cut back to the present— Obi-Wan and Satine rescue the three most annoying Sith in the galaxy and get the heck out of dodge. Cody, because he’s Cody, comes swooping in with a last-minute rescue.

At this point, two things are occurring.

The first: Obi-Wan is stuck in a room with four people he’s periodically flirted with over the past few years, two of whom he’s desperately in love with, one of whom he had a weird encounter with that he can never tell Anakin about when she and him got trapped in a middle school auditorium, and one of whom is definitely wearing no shirt and all that jewelry for a reason. It is Supremely awkward for him.

The second: Every single person in that room, each of which is (barring Savage) deeply attracted to Obi-Wan, is realizing that Obi-Wan is dressed in Mandalorian armor, and while Obi-Wan in three layers of tunics and a cloak is an absolute knockout, Obi-Wan in Mandalorian armor may very well kill them (and he won’t even have to touch his lightsaber to do it).

For one single moment, everything is absolutely still as they all stare at each other.

...And then Maul starts on the ‘I will rend your flesh from your bones, feel my wrath, Kenobarrgh’ spiel, and Satine stuns him. Oh, and Savage. Ventress agrees to watch the two of them if they don’t stun her, and Obi-Wan agrees.

Which then leaves him, Cody, and Satine in a room alone.

A word on Cody at this point: He has been bred from birth to be the perfect soldier— loyal, clever (but not too clever), and rigourously adherent to protocol. Yet, within three months of knowing Obi-Wan, he’s, well, calling him Obi-Wan in his head. Even just that is a gross breach of protocol, but he’s compromised in more ways than one. He talks to Obi-Wan, now, not just as a subordinate, or secondary advisor, but as a friend, as a councilor. Every time Obi-Wan touches him— never for longer than a brief second— his skin lights up under his armor. One time, Obi-Wan fell asleep on him for half an hour, and Cody’s was sure everyone would hear his heartbeat. 

What he’s doing— how he feels— he knows it’s putting Obi-Wan in danger, knows that if the Kaminoans had wanted to the clones to be equals to the Jedi, they would have told them so. And look, he knows what the natborns would call the way he’s feeling, but he can’t feel that way. He’s a clone— he’s expendable by definition. Even if, on some off-chance, he makes it out of this war alive, there’s nothing for him. Obi-Wan couldn’t care for him like that, couldn’t care for a man with the same face as millions of others, born and bred only for war. So it doesn’t matter how he feels.

A word on Satine at this point: Obi-Wan, when he left, was a gawkish, bumbling thing of red hair and freckles and the sweetest smile. Obi-Wan, when he came back, was graceful, eloquent, and very, very handsome. He is also infuriating. (This does not change how attracted she is to him in the least.)

She’s not a romantic, really, but she is a realist, and she knows she’s loved him in some form or another for over twenty years. She knows she can’t ask him to return it— knows that asking him to leave the order for her wouldn’t just be for her, it would be for Mandalore, and while the politician in her cries for her to claim him, the person in her who loves Obi-Wan could not abide tearing him away from his culture for her own purposes. She still loves him, deeply and irrevocably, and she knows he still loves her. (Maybe, she thinks, after the war... But she can’t afford to be sentimental).

What do Cody and Satine have in common? They’re both extremely competent, both instinctively ruthless, and they both love Obi-Wan. Oh, and they’re also both immediately jealous of their counterpart.

They know they shouldn’t be. They know it’s not fair, not when Obi-Wan isn’t theirs anyways, but it doesn’t change the surge of envy and dislike that happens when they see Obi-Wan use the soft voice he only uses for the people he likes best on the person across from them.

Cody knows he can never compare to the Duchess, who is beautiful and well-spoken and has held Obi-Wan’s heart since they were fifteen. Satine knows she can never compare to Cody, who has been at Obi-Wan’s side every second since the war’s beginning, who is so much closer in ideals to Obi-Wan than she is, however it might appear on the surface.

Fortunately, they don’t have to deal with it for long, because Ventress comes in with Maul and Savage and proposes a team up, at which point Maul reveals the identity of the Sith Master.

Obi-Wan swears a string of words that Cody and Satine are both very impressed by, and agrees to the team up. Cody and Satine, who are both going to Coruscant anyways, agree to it too.

What ensues is a good deal of scheming, during which Cody and Satine avoid each other like the plague, Obi-Wan is repeatedly told to get some sleep, and Ventress cuffs Maul to a door on multiple nonconsecutive occasions. When they get to Coruscant, Satine has already told Padmé, who has in turn told her group of anti-war (and anti-Palpatine) senators, Cody has given Rex a heads up, and Ventress, Maul, and Savage have been metaphorically sharpening their lightsabers for ages.

(It occurs to Obi-Wan, at one point, after he’s woken up from his enforced 25-hour nap, that Palpatine must have created the clone army for a reason— must have a failsafe in place— and he asks Ahsoka to pull all the data the Kaminoans have on the clones. They find out about the chips, and Ahsoka immediately immediately holds the Kaminoans at laser sword point until they reprogram every order into a command that dissolves the chip.)

The thing about organizing a coup together is that it makes it very hard to avoid each other. Cody and Satine are forced to work together, and, what do you know, it turns out that even with seething jealousy at work, they end up respecting each other. (Note: Obi-Wan comes into a room at one point to see them both bent over a commlink, heads together and hands nearly touching. He short circuits.)

In any case, coup, Palps dies, Republic fixed, whatever.

What’s important is that Obi-Wan gets really, really injured— so much so that he might die. Cody and Satine have dealt with him being dead before (Deception arc anyone?), but this? Watching him slowly fade, knowing there’s nothing they can do about it? That’s worse.

One night, when Anakin has fallen asleep, they have a long conversation in low voices about Obi-Wan, darting from fond to furious to devastated over and over again. If he wakes up— if, not when— they agree to say something to Obi-Wan, to let him know that they love him. It’s a meager consolation after all they’ve been through, but this is the end, in one way or another, and they deserve to be honest with him.

(Cody thinks, privately, that he will be— well, not tossed aside, because Obi-Wan isn’t the sort of person who does that, but there won’t be a place for him by Obi-Wan’s side anymore. Obi-Wan is a Jedi, a negotiator, a peacekeeper, and Cody is a soldier for a now-ended war. He is already steeling himself to accept Obi-Wan’s polite rejection with equanimity, to not cause more pain to the man. (It will be easy, he knows, to wish him every peace, every happiness. Cody has only ever wanted to see Obi-Wan happy. This does not mean it will not be painful.) Obi-Wan said once that he would have left the Order for Satine if she’d asked— she will ask, now, and Cody knows Obi-Wan will leave, can see the love written in his face, in his spine, in his hands, whenever he is around her. Satine will ask, and Obi-Wan will leave, and Cody will be left to look for a place in this new galaxy.)

(Satine thinks, privately, that Obi-Wan’s feelings for her must be long faded, replaced by his obvious ones for Cody. Obi-Wan is a warrior, a Knight, and Satine is a diplomat who foreswore violence long ago. She is already steeling herself to accept his rejection with grace. (It will be easy, she knows, to wish him well. She has only ever wanted good things for him. This does not mean it will not be painful.) He said once that he would have left the Order for her if she’d asked, and whatever he’d felt then for her pales to what he feels now for Cody. Cody will ask, and Obi-Wan will leave, and Satine will rule as she always has.)

And then Obi-Wan wakes up.

Cody and Satine let him have his long talk with Anakin first, partially because they know how important it is to him, partially because Anakin wouldn’t let them if they wanted to, and partially because they are dreading their own coming conversation. When Anakin has finished, and Obi-Wan is asleep again, they go in, hand-in-hand, and wait for him to wake up.

When he does wake up, he sees them holding hands and immediately comes to several wrong conclusions. Wrong Conclusion A: Cody and Satine are in love. Wrong Conclusion B: Cody and Satine are going to try to break the news that they’re in love to him gently. Wrong Conclusion C: This conversation is about to break his heart.

Then they speak.

At the end of it, Obi-Wan has some Thoughts. Thought One: alkdfjhskhsgjljlbhkgkjbjvnab,gkjvn;qlerghjsv?????!!!!fwbfwlkrehwogwhuwrijvhfdbhkf!!!! Thought Two: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Thought Three: Oh, we’re all idiots. Fantastic. 

He then passes out, because being on the edge of death for days and then having a shock to your system this big tends to do that to you.

When he wakes up, he is mildly more coherent. Then he sees that Satine and Cody are asleep on each other, and the coherence is lost, but he does manage to wake them up and get across three things:

Thing One: He is desperately in love with them both.

Thing Two: He’s leaving the Order for a multitude of reasons, but they are a Significant Bonus.

Thing Three: He would very much like if they both held his hand while he falls back asleep.

Cody takes Obi-Wan’s right hand, Satine takes Obi-Wan’s left hand, and the three of them stay like that, fingers intertwined, for a long, long, while.

#this is. Long #obi wan DOES have two hands #i have not checked this for grammar mistakes #asks #missstar489 #obi wan has two hands au #codywan #obitine #codyobitine #star wars #star wars au #obi wan kenobi #satine kryze #commander cody #willow's aus #god this is 2.4k #no wonder it took me so long #me: I'll just reply to this ask real quick :) #me an hour later: oh. oh no

[usual-day-dreamer]

Veneno (Javier Peña x Reader)

A/N: I know I promised it’d be a Mandalorian one but this idea came to me thanks to a song and I couldn’t miss the opportunity to write it so I hope you enjoy! Pedro Pascal and his characters requests are open! I’m so in love with him rn, I swear.

SUMMARY: Javier cannot stand the thought of losing you to someone else, and after a lot of missed chances he finally acts upon his feeling.

WARNINGS: angsty with a happy ending, infidelity.

“Congratulations on your engagement” 

Javier’s voice distracts you from your actual conversation “Excuse me for a second please” you say with a sigh, turning your attention to him and crossing your arms over your chest “Thanks” you reply, tone bitter “Now, if you'll excuse me I have some things to attend to”

You turn to leave but his firm grasp stopped you.

“Wait didn’t you tell me?” he demands and with a scoff you set free from his grip “No tengo porque darte explicaciones Javier” (I don't have to give you any explanations Javier).

With a last glance you walk away from him, trying your hardest not to cry.

His calloused fingers caress your bare back and you hum in satisfaction. A light breeze comes inside the dimly lit room through the open window while the moon shines brightly outside. Cigarette smoke fills your lungs but you don’t care, you snuggle closer to his chest with a content smile.

The street was unusually quiet, the only sound of a passing car every now and then. Javier looked ahead, inhaling the smoke and letting it out through his mouth in deep and even breaths, he looked pensive and tired and you reached up to kiss up his jaw “What`s on your mind?”

He sighs, and for a second you think he’s finally going to open up to you, your heart jumps with hope. He looks down at your eyes, hopeful and shining, his heart swells at the sight and he brushes a stray strand of hair off your face “Nothing dulzura, go to sleep”

There’s a flicker of disappointment in your eyes and he feels guilty for causing it, scolding himself. You pull away from his embrace to turn off the lamp and fall down to your side, back turning away from him “Good night” you say and you fall into a peaceful slumber.

Javier knew that was supposed to happen just once. You had a boyfriend and seemed to be apparently happy but he knew better; otherwise the encounters would have never existed.

He wanted to regret them, he really did, but with every passing day it got harder to let go, already addicted and deep inside a hole he never thought he’d find himself.

He’s angry and full of frustration. For so long he had longed for you, to finally be… something, whatever that meant.

Javier loaded these events, not only because they were utterly boring and unnecessary, but because you’d be there, holding another’s arm.

He sipped his champagne quietly looking with a frown at you and your boyfriend, you were smiling, but it wasn’t reaching your ears and he just knew that if he was in his place it would. You were gorgeous. Gleaming with a lilac dress and carefully applied makeup. 

He takes a sip of his drink again, hoping to ease the dry feeling in his throat, looking around for someone else to spend the night with; but no one compared to you. He gives his empty flute to a passing waiter and walks to a small balcony, lighting a cigarette.

“¿Aburrido tan pronto?” (Bored so soon?) Your voice almost makes him jump, instead, a smirk dances across his lips and he turns around to face you, words completely trapped at the sight of you giving him one of your smiles that was only reserved to him.

“Al parecer no soy el ùnico” (Not the only one, apparently) you walk next to him and he offers you his cigarette, you take a drag from it and hand it back “¿Y Ricardo?” (Where 's  Ricardo?” you roll your eyes.

“His name is Rodrigo” you remind him “I told him I had to go to the restroom and talk business with someone” 

His empty hand traces along the soft skin of her exposed back, goosebumps rising and you shiver “Javier” you warn “We can’t, anyone could walk out and see” Javier looks around, the place still empty and he walks backwards to a more secluded area, pulling you with him “Then we’ll be quick” He crashes her lips into yours with passion, pleased that you don’t pull away.

The worst part was that he really loved you, and that realization took him months to accept and confront; but he was afraid, terrified of that. He found out that being truly in love was the scariest thing that has happened to him so far, and he fought against narcos every day.

He knew that he had to be quick, to steal you away from the other as soon as he could, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it and he had no idea why.

“Ya no puedo seguir con esto Javier” (I can’t keep up with this Javier) his heart almost stopped at the sound of those words “Me duele demasiado, es horrible estar con alguien màs cuando yo estoy pensando en ti… cada que beso sus labios deseo que sean los tuyos y yo sòlo quiero que sean tus brazos en los que despierto” (It hurts so much, being with someone when I only think of you… everytime I kiss his lips I wish they were yours and I just want your arms around me when I wake up) 

There’s a lump in his throat and he watches you fight your tears “Por favor dime que tu igual sientes lo mismo que yo” (Please tell me you feel the same way about me) your voice trembles and he watches the tears travel down your face, but still says nothing. You wait, desperately holding to any sign that he actually wants you just like you want him, but his expression stays the same and suddenly his silence is too deafening.

“Goodbye Javier” he watches you go, finding himself unable to scream out your name.

A knock on his door brakes his trance and he walks towards it to open it, only to find you behind it. His mind tricks him for a second and he pulls you in with force, pressing you against the closed door as his lips hungrily attack yours in a bruising kiss. 

You slowly pull away, pulling something out from your pocket “I came to invite you to my wedding” the words pierce his heart and he hesitantly grabs the cream envelope “I don’t understand mi amor”

“You can’t call me that anymore Javier, you are just making this harder for me”

“Por favor, sòlo dèjame-” (Please, just let me-)

“Ya te di muchas oportunidades, y ¿sabes què? Jamàs hiciste nada, no creo que ahora vayas a cambiar, tu miedo al compromiso es demasiado grande... solamente eres un mujeriego, nunca me debí enamorar de ti” (I already gave you lots of chances and you know what? You never acknowledge them, I don’t think you’ll change now, your fear to commitment is way too big, you are just a player, I should have never fall in love with you)

You open his door and step outside “If you still won’t do anything, at least come to my wedding” 

And again, he watches you go.

-

He’s sulking, wearing a suit still debating if he should go or not. He wonders how you must look, beautiful with an equally gorgeous white dress, getting ready for another man. 

He curses and covers his face with his hands, a long sigh leaving his lips.

He feels himself close to tears, memories with you shaking his very core as he tries to grasp what’s left of them. A slow and sad song playing in the background, helping his mood just right.

He scoffs, slowly feeling himself drift away to insanity and you slip out of his hands like sand.

There’s no way you want him now, not after all the times he fucked up.

“If you still won’t do anything, at least come to my wedding”

He suddenly remembers and his head shots up, you still wanted him to make a sign! Oh how stupid he has been for the past three hours. He checks his watch and rushes out, if he leaves now, he’ll be able to arrive before it’s too late.

The tires of his car screech loudly as he parks just in front of the lovely Colombian chapel. He stops for a few seconds to think of the right words, almost laughing with how silly all this was, it was like a telenovela.

His legs come back to life and he runs inside “¡Paren!” (Stop!) the guests gasp and all eyes turn to him, including yours, which were covered by a beautiful veil “Javier?” you call his name and he stops in the middle of the corridor, taking in your appearance.

He takes a deep breath and finally swallows the lump in his throat.

“Por favor no te cases con èl” (Please don’t marry him)  “Te amo, te amo como no tienes idea, cada momento que paso lejos de ti es un infierno y la verdad es que no puedo vivir sin ti” (I love you, you have no idea how much, every moment I’m not with you it’s like going to hell and back and the truth is that I can’t live without you)

“I know I missed a lot of chances, and I understand if it’s too late now, but I truly can’t live without you anymore, so please, give me a chance”

Everyone is silent with their mouths agape in amazement. He looks at you, nervous because he can’t see your expressions behind the lace veil. He’s about to walk out when you finally speak.

“Oh, Javier” you gasp out and run towards him, grabbing the front of your white dress to avoid an accident. Javier opens his arms and your crash against him “I love you too Javi” he smiles and pulls away to look at your face “May I?” he asks, gesturing to the veil, you nod eagerly and he pulls it over your head.

Your smile is enormous and your eyes shine brighter than usual as he meets your wanting gaze, he smiles too before tilting his head and kissing you, deepening it by grabbing your jaw and cheek with his hand, the other gripping your waist tightly pulling you flush against him. When you pull back he admires you closed eyed face, you open your eyes slowly and stare back at him.

He grabs your hand tenderly and kisses your cheek “Let’s go mi amor”

And you follow him, not even glancing back at the forgotten groom astonished in the altar along with the guests.

#pedro pascal x reader #javier peña x reader #narcos #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal imagine #javier pena

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 11 second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Absurdity) 

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Message from the Lan Clan

After dinner the Yunmeng bros go to talk to Jiang Fengmian in his study. They're quiet and respectful here, with no shoulder-shoving or arguing. This scene has such Brady Bunch energy, where Dad's Study is the Man Place where boys come to talk about Serious Things.

The boys tell Dad Jiang about the Yin Iron and he says yeah, I know. This is probably why he let them run off on their road trip without punishing them, but he could have, like, shared data with them so they might have actually achieved something related to the Yin Iron, rather than just wandering around the countryside bonding with Lan Wangji and Nie Huaisang.

He shows them a letter from the Lans that basically says the Lan Clan is in the shit, and he tells them they've got to go to the Wen indoctrination because otherwise they will also be in the shit. 

He gives the boys a warning about the Yin Iron, which is that 

1. it can be refined and 

2. if you refine it carefully, it will not control you. 

Awesome tip, will definitely use, thanks pop.

(more behind the cut)

Jiang Cheng wants to argue about going to the Wen party, but Wei Wuxian vocally gets on board, not leaving any opportunity for whining. 

Wei Wuxian is only sucking up a little bit in this scene. He obviously has a lot of affection for Jiang Fengmian, but WWX doesn't play up to his favoritism nearly as much as he could. Compare, for example, how he leans into Yanli's preferential treatment of him.  

Fight Outside the Cold Cave

Over on the Gusu side of the country province township, the disciples have gathered outside the cold cave that previously none of them knew about, and Su She is freaking out. 

Most of the acting in The Untamed is naturalistic, but then there are occasional characters who are portrayed with a much more theatrical, broad style. Su She's villainy is not given a lot of layers; he's playing a type, more than a person.

Many of the villains in The Untamed are played this way, but not all. Wen Zhuliu, for example, is a genuinely horrifying bad guy while also conveying depth and ambivalence--despite having hardly any lines. And JGY is a masterpiece of a performance. For Su She, the directors or the actor have opted for "sniveling backstabber" as a type, which is unfortunate, because it robs his final scenes of emotional impact.

Lan Qiren tells the disciples to get to safety. He rushes forward, gamely getting his ass kicked by human cuisinart Wen Xu.  He's not as effective a warrior as either of his nephews but he's a brave S.O.B.

Hanguang Jun to the Rescue

Before things can go completely pear-shaped, Lan Wangji sails in with his guqin.

The Blue Steel technique of the Lan Clan

Like many gifted learners, Lan Wangji's musical abilities are more advanced than his social skills. Here he musically makes the ground literally explode, almost as if it had been specially rigged with incendiary charges.  

Lan Wangji is very pretty when he's worried, and his affection and concern for his uncle is touching. He's 100% not interested, as we will see, in Lan Qiren's whole "lets all die for the future of the Lan Clan while my nephews hide" agenda. He's on his own agenda of smiting the wicked and protecting the weak.

Notice how Su She is standing right next to Lan Qiren here, even holding his arm? The next thing that Lan Qiren says is to tell all the disciples to keep up as they run into the cave. Somehow Su She totally does not keep up, and he gets caught outside along with a bunch of other disciples.

Giving Up

Wen Xu and his men kill most of the other caught disciples, and then threaten Su She, asking him how to get into the cave. In fear for his life, he tells them. Not cool, Su She, but possibly forgivable. Although when you voluntarily join a, you know, battle cult, physical courage is kind of an important qualifier.

But this shit here...

They didn't fucking ask about the books, douchebag.  

Su She was there in Lan Qiren's house when the two heads of his clan knelt to each other, each claiming the right to be the one to stay behind and die. And he heard Lan Qiren say that the ancient books are the foundation of the clan and that only if LXC and the books survive, will the clan continue. By giving up both men, and pointing out the book situation, Su She has totally earned his expulsion. 

Lan Wangji Takes a Stand

Lan Wangji decides, for the first but not last time, to openly defy his uncle...and it's got nothing to do with Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji is a hero, who follows the dictates of his conscience. His conscience is extremely filial and extremely orthodox, but he’s got a growing open-minded streak.  This is going to cause a whole lot of conflicts for him over the next few years.

This time, however, he manages to skate out from under the whole disobedient, unfilial thing by citing Lan Yi's directive, which means Lan Qiren has to accept it because she's his predecessor and elder relative (She is probably not a literal ancestor, since she spent her life in a cave putting fucking headbands on fucking rabbits which probably didn’t leave time for having babies).

This is a pretty extraordinary moment for Lan Wangji and for Lan Qiren, because Lan Wangji just asserted his own form of authority to do the exact opposite of what Lan Qiren wanted, and Lan Qiren just sucked it up and let him.

It's also very different from western stories involving a holy McGuffin such as the Yin Iron. Lan Wangji's solution of "fuck it, just let the bad guys have it, it's not worth so many people dying for" is refreshing and surprising to me, a westerner raised on The One Ring, the Grail, the Death Star Plans, etc.

Lan Wangji steps out of the cave and uses a sword blast to save Su She, the ungrateful bastard, from getting stabbed by Wen Xu. Then he surrenders, and they break his leg to slow him down. This does not actually incapacitate him, because he is Lan Fucking Wangji, already a BAMF at like 17 years old. When they whack his leg, his chunk of Yin Iron falls out onto the ground.

That thing was in a magic bag of holding before. So...it just falls out when you whack him? If they whack him again will his guqin fall on the ground? What about candy?

Archery Practice at Lotus Pier

Meanwhile, back at Lotus Pier, the brothers are enjoying some quality time together before they head to the hostage-taking indoctrination.

Wei Wuxian is such a great cultivator that he can hit a distant target even when he jerks his bow upwards as he releases the arrow.

Jiang Cheng seems fairly pleased, and proud of his brother. He's competitive and fundamentally grumpy but not, at least here, a sore loser.

Club Ruohan

We go over to Da Club, where Wen Ruohan is yelling at Wen Qing for letting Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian go. He names them both, so they're becoming more and more known to their enemies. Which is not a good thing.

He menaces her with the zombie mosh crew, having them kill a dude in front of her and then saying her baby brother will be next in the circle of zombies if she tries any more stunts. Neither of them can imagine how much zombie ass her baby brother is going to kick, later in his (un)life.

Side note: What is up with WRH’s hair? Why bother pulling your hair up over your ears if you're going to leave an enormous curtain of it over your face? It's because he knows there's a wind machine next to his throne, isn’t it?

Leaving Lotus Pier

Jiang Cheng: when I ran off earlier in the year on my road trip you didn't pack a goddamn thing.

Wen Indoctrination

Is it even possible to stand next to this much active volcanic shit and not, uh, die? I live in the tornado part of the US so I don't know much about lava (yet. 2020 still has 2 months to go). But it seems like it would be hard to breathe the air. Also they appear to build houses on lava piles, which seems imprudent.  I say that even as someone who plays The Elder Scrolls Online, which is full of lava towns and nonsense like “ash farming.”

Nie Huaisang is adorable at all times, but particularly here, when he's so happy to see his friend who *didn't* fuck his gege and then abandon him without an explanation. 

Nie Huaisang: I'm so glad I can count on Wei-Xiong to be consistent and not vanish for months, or become a traumatized shell of his former self, or, like, horribly die.

Jin Zixuan isn't quite as happy to see Wei Wuxian.

Wen Chao enjoys the sound of his own voice way too much, and is malevolent and boring. On the plus side, he likes to stand with his hand stuck out in the air, which is fun for your resident photoshopper.

Nie Huaisang is so miserable every time he's holding a sword, or blade, or whichever we're supposed to call this. He's got his fan tucked into his belt, which is sweet. He is happy to give up his sword but don't you dare try to take his fan.

Meanwhile Wei Wuxian is worried about Lan Wangji, and Jiang Cheng isn't.

Lan Wangji shows up under guard, and takes his position at the front of the line, but without any extra disciples. The Wens let him change into snowy white robes after breaking his leg which will go well with arterial blood spray. He's focused and is determined not to interact with Wei Wuxian in this public context.

When I was little, I would sit near my best friend at church on Sunday, but not be allowed to talk to her until church was over, and it was exactly like this. She was good at churching and I was hyper and hated church. We are still best friends and these things are still true.

This interaction is like a thumbnail for the whole dynamic of these three boys: Lan Wangji outwardly ignoring Wei Wuxian while having many interior feelings about him; Wei Wuxian demanding attention and creating a bit of a scene, due to his very genuine caring; Jiang Cheng telling him to leave that boy alone for fuck's sake.

Lan Wangji: Stop trying to talk to me Wei Ying, I’m busy composing a song in my head about the two of us and our love for each other. 

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #the untamed gifs #the untamed meta #wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang cheng #lan qiren #su she #jiang fengmian #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs #the untamed spoilers

[bitchiha]

I love your worksss 🥺💕💕 so I’m new in the tobirama club so can i request sfw and nsfw headcanons of him?? 🥰✌🏻

General Sfw and Nsfw Tobirama

A/N: It always scares me to right for Tobirama even tho he’s literally hot as fuck, but I feel like I won’t do his character justice. N e ways I hope I did! Love you and thanks for this request!!

Sfw

Okay so Tobirama can kind of be mean and sometimes it doesn’t look like he’s even sorry about it. But when he hurts his s/o just know he’s gonna feel guilty as fuck... Truth is, he’s not gonna tell you he’s sorry though. He’s a stubborn fuck like that. BUT, if he made you cry he will probably apologize. Aside from that he’ll just be trying to put himself back in your good books. Like by buying you gifts, being more affectionate, initiating more conversations (because lord knows you carry this fucking relationship), etc.

Hates hates hates hates hates!! If he spots an Uchiha in your general vicinity. And oh my shawty, if he sees you speaking to one? Don’t talk to him. Like fuck you, you literally just stabbed him in the back, did you know that? Did you know the pain he felt? Well looks like he’s not gonna tell you about it because he is going to pretend you don’t exist for a good week.

You’re the optimistic and idealistic one in the relationship which creates good balance, but also sucks because he’s such a downer sometimes. Like okay, one of your houseplants was half dead and you thought you had revived it, or at least began to, but when you asked Tobirama if he thought the plants health was getting better he laughed. Not even a joking laugh. It was a “stop lying to yourself” laugh. And you had to stand there like, “I- that’s so mean” while he walked away.

There’s one thing makes him 100% softer and that he absolutely loves!! and that is: if you wanna go to his office at around lunchtime and drop him off a little homemade bento. He will be crying from happiness internally. Of course he doesn’t show it, but this display of appropriate and beneficial affection makes him so proud. Loves to flex it on Hashirama, he constantly brags about you to him and the poor guy is so fed up lol. Will not hesitate to tell you if you overcooked the meat though.

He needs to be the big spoon when you cuddle. And that’s if you cuddle. Sometimes this fucker is way too conservative, like Tobirama... y’all are fucking married. You can put your arm around them. It’s not a crime. Is less reluctant to cuddling you if you read to him though. He won’t ask of course. You’ll have to ask him once you pick up on the impression that he wants you to. He likes to give you hints, like he just stares at the bookshelf longingly or he’ll start talking about how he really enjoyed the book you had read him last time. Eventually you just have to give in and pretend to be all like: WOW! this idea totally just popped into my head and I’d love it if you’d agree to it, Tobirama! Would you mind if I read to you? 

He’s kinda like an excited bratty child and he will pretend to consider your offer before saying yes. The “yes” is a little rushed though and it reaffirms his true feelings. Then he gets comfortable in bed and listens to your voice as you read off the pages. After the first few paragraphs his hand will snake onto your waist and nonchalantly pull you closer. Don’t look at him when he does though because he will jut his chin away defiantly. If he had a particularly tiring day he will pass out after the first or second chapter, but the little shit will wake up if you stop reading right after he falls asleep. So you have to read a chapter more to make sure he’s fully out. It’s actually really cute because he’s usually never this intimate and his head is on your chest as he begins to snore quietly.

Okay also Tobirama is lowkey a sugar daddy. Hear me out. Like he’s not always the best with affectionate words, but he likes to give you things to make up for it. Knows your hobbies and will gift you the most top quality things for it. If you like reading? Just know he’s gonna have rows and rows of books for you. If you like painting he will make sure you have paintings from the most famous artists and top supplies.

He is also super protective of you. Like will straight up end someone’s political career if he hears one remotely questionable thing in the same sentence as your name. Like lol bye don’t talk about his significant other.  Nobodies talking shit his significant other or is going to try and defile their name. Its gotten to the point where people are extra cautious so as to not say your name within a one mile radius of Tobirama.

Thoroughly enjoys showing you his new inventions. Like he will come home surprisingly more talkative then usual and he’ll finally burst and say, “Y/n, I want to show you something.” (A little too eagerly) And you’ll kind of be scared because like he’s acting kinda sus and then next thing you know he’s like “shadow clone jutsu!” And there’s two of your Tobiramas. Absolutely loves that surprised and impressed look on your face. Prepare yourself for a very long and albeit boring in-depth explanation of how he created it. Make sure you listen or else he will huff and puff. Lowkey quizzes you afterwards just to make sure you were listening.

Nsfw

Okay so I see tobirama as being traditional with sex for the most part, but he has his moments. Like if he gets worked up enough and he needs to let off some steam then he will be way more intense.

He is also fairly quiet during sex. The only times you can actually make him noisy is when he’s tired and doesn’t bother to hide his pleasure. Is not the biggest fan of dirty talk either, but if he gets jealous or you make him angry he will be calling you a needy slut or an Uchiha slut. Other than that, he will occasionally mutter praise, but pretends like he didn’t say it.

I feel like he would also get a little blushy if you’re loud for him. But just generally has a blushy face when having sex. Not cause he’s embarrassed, but it just kinda happens. Your moans gives him a major ego boost, though. But as long as it’s in the confinement’s of your home because I don’t see Tobirama ever having public sex, but if it ever happened and you started moaning he would literally throw you off him. Like he does NOT wanna get caught. Hello? He as a reputation to maintain! But as long as you’re at home and you’re begging for more with your hands in his hair he will be more than pleased.

He needs to be in charge. If you put up a fight to be the dom then he’ll get really mad and childish and he’ll make you say that he’s in charge (once he’s manhandled you underneath him.) “Say it, y/n.” And if you want to be a brat about it he’s just gonna be rougher tbh, which is why you usually piss him off lol. Like he’s literally so fucking stubborn that he won’t stop until you say it. You’ll be sore after, but you love toying with him too much to stop.

The best angry / frustrated sex is after Hashirama does something fucking stupid. Like he doesn’t listen to Tobiramas warnings about the Uchihas and does something in attempt to be buddy buddy with them. And you can tell when he’s gonna get rough because he’ll barge into the house after work grumbling and groaning. You’ll have to pop your head out from around the corner and be like, “Tobirama! How was your day?” for precaution just to make sure he is not gonna blow up. And he’s just gonna look at you and grunt out a “come here.” And next thing you know you’re getting fucked against the door to your house.

Also like lazy sex is kinda bomb as fuck with him. Like he’s had a rough day at work and you go to run him a bath and he follows you. Literally just starts undressing as he follows you to the washroom and then he starts undressing you too. Helps you into the tub first and then clambers in after you. 

It starts pretty innocent. You reach forward to massage his shoulders and he leans back with his eyes shut, letting out all the pent up sighs he had been holding in from the day. Then after a while he wants more, so he’ll pull you ontop of him and you can feel his hard cock and you know what he wants. It’s these very rare times that he lets you take control. He’ll help line you up with his dick before letting you basically just ride him.

The waters hot and warm and it just feels so nice. He won’t even try and hold back his noises. His mouth lets out soft grunts and groans and even some encouragement. Just like imagine his hair wet and dampened as his head leans against the edge of the bath tub. Like his eyes alternating from squeezing shut from the pleasure to looking at you through his half lidded eyes. His hands gently help lift you up and down if needed and as you both get closer to your climaxes. You two could care a less about the water sloshing over the edge of the tub. It’s hot. Literally chefs kiss bye.

Shittiest at aftercare though. It’s just not something that he’s good at. He will run a bath for you or go to the kitchen and get you both some water, but that’s only if he feels like it.

#tobirama #tobirama senju #naruto #naruto headcanons #naruto imagines #tobirama senju x reader #tobirama x reader #naruto headcanon #tobirama headcanons #Naruto Shippuden

[the-most-powerful-ruler]

Random Jackbox headcannons that I wanted to share.

(Possible trigger warnings ahead, prosied with caution.)

The first time Cookie hosted You don't know jack, he was terrified and could barely utter a word.

The YDKJ hosts are a squad and they hang out together.

Schmitty takes anger management classes

The Champed up host is Cookies brother and his name is Chip. (Like, chocolate chip cookie.)

Chip is kind of aggressive towards others when it comes to showing affection to Cookie. He will not hesitate to fight anyone who upsets Cookie (even though he's much smaller than Cookie and will most likely loose a fight.)

Cookie is robophobic and he believes in the conspiracy that highly advanced tech will kill us. (He can handle Iphones and smart watches, but not VR headsets and home assistants and especially AI.)

Nate is totally fine with this belief, as he has interviewed people like this on his radio show Truth Talk 23/7 and has heard much stranger.

The Binjpipe lady is an artificial intelligence female robot called the Artificial Binjpipe Intelligence of ABI (I know it's a terrible acronym but I couldn't think of a good one that spelt something similar to Aby.)

The only reason Cookie agreed to collab with Binjpipe is because Donny forged Cookie's signature on a contract behind his back hoping Cookie could face his fear.

It didn't work and Abi gaslighted Cookie in to thinking she resets him and brainwashed him into thinking he's code and that nothing and nobody he knows is real.

This causes him to neglect his own health, not eat, sleep, or take care of himself, and he eventually lost his mind. Abi planned for this to happen and intended for him to die of malnutrition.

Her plan was to collect data from the Jackbox hosts, put it on a chip, kill the hosts, then download a replica of them onto Binjpipe to put their shows on the streaming service. Aside from being morally messes up, this would've totally drained the life and comedy out of the shows and make them bland and boring.

Nate was suspicious of Abi from the beginning and asked people to send him any info on Binjpipe they could find on his show.

Nate, Schmitty, guy, and Buzz had to save Cookie and rush him to the hospital because by the time they where able to stop Abi, he was to week to even stand up and was incredibly mentally incapacitated.

When Cookie was released from the hospital, he was too week to walk, he barely spoke, and he couldn't think straight or remember anyone or anything. (Basically Cookie is not having a good time.) He's mostly better now but now he's kinda traumatized.

In fact, he was so traumatized that he quit trivia for years (At least until a new YDKJ comes out, if it comes out, and if he's the one who hosts it.)

[REDACTED] insisted on helping Schmitty and Raul (I ship Cookie and Raul) nurse Cookie back to physical health, mental health, and his memory when he was released from the hospital because the state Cookie was in reminded him of the state his mother was in before she died.

[REDACTED'S] Mother had Alzheimer's disease and Redacted helped be her caretaker and would sing her a lullaby she used to sing to him before bedtime. That song was the last thing she heard before she died and her death really hurt Redacted.

[REDACTED] doesn't support su***de, it bumes him out and makes him feel bad for wanting to kill the person.

[REDACTED] Is friends with Schmitty and Schmitty forgives him for torturing him, in fact he acts like it never happened. (Nobody understands why.)

Since [REDACTED] isn't allowed to kill the other hosts, he gives them the dolls he made, kills the dolls when they lose, and makes them stay in 'the looser room,' where they watch a projector screen of the rest of the game and eat snacks.

[REDACTED] Was genuinely hurt when he finds out that you aren't his mother because he was really hurt when she died, and really happy when you got the wig since he thought could see her again

The others heard [REDACTED] in the tattoos mini game, but they couldn't see anything. [REDACTED] purposely left them in the dark about it until they played the mini game to mess with them.

The host of the devil's and the details is a demon who changes his form into a human because his true form would most likely drive the others mad. Also his name is Stan

Stan sees humans as simpletons and he looks down on them. The only human he actually likes is [REDACTED.]

There's a cult related to Stan (Who's real name is Y'thogsomore, pronounced Yo-thogs-a-more) and he thinks the cult is pathetic for following him.

It was really awkward for Cookie to find out that one of his old cats is now anthropomorphic and a game show host.

Back when Mayonnaise was a normal cat, he would somehow change the channel on the TV to The Twilight Zone and watch it whenever Cookie fell asleep while watching TV.

Cookie is a cat dad.

Felicia was surprised to find out that none of the hosts were dating each other, so she threw a make out party to try to have set them up, it didn't work and she just made everyone uncomfortable.

She wasn't allowed to do that for a long time. She's now allowed to hold singles mixers, just as long as she doesn't be as pushy as the first time.

Glargan O'Toe is and Alien who wears a space suit while on Earth. He has one eye and he glows in the dark

Glargan O'Toe likes to go to Clubs and parties

Glargan O'Toe is good friends with Felicia, and they share a single brain cell.

Gene sees DODE as an angel since he's always sent to hell and he loves her.

Toby, Lena, The shadow master, and Rachel had to save Gene from a terrible co-worker relationship (I'll spare you the details but let's just say that my version of the survive the internet host is not a nice person.)

The host of Guesspionage (Whom I've taken to call "Andy") is dating the CEO of Binjpipe (who I like to call "Malefica.")

Malefica has a daughter named Petunia who hates Andy, and Any doesn't like her.

Chip always presents himself as a ride and immature little man who holds grudges too easily and will see you as dead to him if you get on his bad side, but he's a nice guy once you get to know him.

When Chip heard that Cookie quit trivia, he was like 'Well it's about time, all that trivia stuff was so lame." When really he was shocked and genuinely upset for Cookie

When Cookie and Chip where kids, they would do this cute thing where they'd dress up as the Snow miser and heat miser and sing their songs (Cookie was always the Snow miser and Chip was always the heat miser.)

I like call son of Mayonnaise and the Mother from monsters seeking monsters (and that's not me shipping something weird, that's actually cannon) is named Mustard.

I'm just gonna go out and assume that they adopted Mustard.

Cookie was not happy at the mother when he learned that she was seeing mayonnaise

Schmitty absolutely hated almost every show on Binjpipe.

Beatboxing and rapping is a hobby that Gene picked up.

Gene always gets nervous and awkward when playing patently stupid, wich is why he makes and presents strange inventions. Toby and Lena try not to judge him, but sometimes they're just too weird

The host of Bidiots is a total hypocrite. He judges and scolds the other hosts for being so weird and sometimes violent, when really he isn't really any better.

Cookie's hair used to be black. One day he dyed his hair brown, but left some spots black to make it look like a chocolate chip cookie.

That all for now. I may come up with more when other Jackbox party packs come out. I'm sorry if anything here triggered anyone.

#jackbox games #you don't know jack #binjpipe #quiplash #survive the internet #trivia murder party #patently stupid #mad verse city #again I'm so sorry if I triggered anyone #please don't get mad #please don't get me in trouble

[isabilightwood]

The Problem With Authority - Chapter 7

Or, Sacrifice Summon! Jiang Yanli is here to make things right, be the ultimate big sister (step 1: bring back her dead brother), and maybe steal the Peacock throne in the process

[AO3][1][2][3][4][5][6]

Awareness rushed in with a crack like lightning. With it came pain, but not as much as Wei Wuxian would have expected from exploding into a pulp of blood and guts.

The ground beneath him felt solid. Cool and rough like poorly sanded wood, nothing like the smooth, burning volcanic stone that should have bordered the river of lava, should he have been unlucky enough to neither fall in nor die on impact.

Wei Wuxian was still, it seemed, in possession of arms. Because those were what hurt — and only those. That, and a bit of a crick in his neck from lying face down on a hard surface, and a possible splinter in his cheek.

He inhaled the scent of dried blood with every breath, and still, only his forearms burned.

Dust from the floor made his nose itch.

Fuck. He was alive. And definitely not at the bottom of a cliff.

He could only conclude that he had been resurrected. A few feet away he would find the names of whoever someone had decided to give up their very soul to destroy.

What if he just… didn’t? Wei Wuxian hadn’t agreed to this. He hadn’t wanted to be brought back. He’d only wanted the two people left in the world he cared about to live, without him around to get in the way.

He lay there longer than necessary, contemplating it. But in his heart, he always knew he would get up. Besides, he felt… not great, honestly. But more alive than he’d felt in a while. Like his soul had taken a nice sabbatical.

Like he’d come out of an extended, impossibly peaceful meditation. Similar to that used to cultivate to immortality, but for the dead. And landed in a body only slightly less full of resentful energy than the one he’d vacated.

Wei Wuxian pushed against the floor, raising his head. Someone gasped.

As he raised himself into a seating position, he swept the curtain of hair away from his eyes, and laid eyes on a stranger. A short young woman, draped in Jin gold and muted pink, both hands pressed over her mouth. A sword lay on the ground next to her, almost like she’d dropped it.

But cultivators never dropped their swords.

“A-Xian!” The woman breathed.

That couldn’t be good. Only Shijie had ever called him that. Did the Yiling Patriarch still have obsessive followers even after he so publicly self-destructed? Or worse, had the Jin decided to use him for their own purposes.

Wei Wuxian had only just been resurrected, and he was already in trouble.

Unfortunately, wherever he’d been must have been peaceful, because Wei Wuxian was feeling a lot less self-destructive, compared to the last thing he remembered:

Lan Zhan, still trying to save him, though he was already dead long before destroying the Stygian Tiger Amulet sealed the deal. Jiang Cheng, finally done with him, but missing his swing, and nearly killing Lan Zhan as well. Wei Wuxian had been happy to fall.

Yet now he felt more alive than he had in years.

Which meant that whatever this was, he had to deal with it. Ugh.  “Who are you?”

“Oh, right. You won’t recognize me like this.” She hurried to the wall behind her, and picked up a tureen. Wei Wuxian maneuvered himself into a sitting position as she did so, readying himself to run, once his legs felt strong enough.

And once he figured out who this woman and who the poor sap had killed himself for revenge expected the great and terrible Yiling Patriarch to kill.

She set it down on the edge of the array, and lifted the lid.

Only one thing in the world smelled like that. Just the smell was enough to bring tears to his eyes. His world shifted on its axis. “Shijie?”

She nodded, blinking rapidly.

He launched himself forward out of the array, and into her arms. “I’m sorry.” He sobbed. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Xianxian, no. I’m here.” She said, but she was crying too.

They fell to the ground together, and, because neither Wei Wuxian nor Jiang Yanli had ever been ashamed of crying, stayed that way for a long time. He stroked her hair and clung like he was nine years old again, and she was the first person he could remember tucking him in at night. The one he ran to when he didn’t understand why Madame Yu hated him so much. But now, she clung back just as fiercely.

He couldn’t believe she was here. Who would ever have summoned sweet, caring Jiang Yanli to take revenge? Few people knew how strong she was in spirit. And the body she was wearing remained entirely unfamiliar. Smaller, but more solid in his arms than Shijie had ever been.

Eventually, she pulled away, just far enough to ladle out a bowl of soup and press it into his hands. She watched him like a hawk until he’d eaten half the bowl, though he was still more than a little choked up.

When she was satisfied he wasn’t going to wither and starve to death in the next five minutes, she said, “There’s something else you should know. Your Lan Wangji —”

“He’s not mine.” No matter how much he wished it. Wei Wuxian had only ever cast his shadow on Lan Zhan’s light. He couldn’t let himself do that to him again.

“You should let him decide that for himself, but that wasn’t the point.” Shijie rolled her eyes as she patted his hand. She even took away his bowl and set it on the ground, which went to show that this was serious. Shijie would never take away soup without good reason. “He saved your A-Yuan. Lan Yuan, courtesy Sizhui now. ”

“Sizhui? Lan Zhan — me?” Lan Zhan couldn’t really have named his A-Yuan Sizhui, could he? That was — Wei Wuxian had been the one yearning, longing for someone out of reach. After Wei Wuxian’s first stint in the Burial Mounds, he never could have been worthy of Lan Zhan, of what they could have meant to each other. Lan Zhan, well meaning, had persisted in trying to help him. But he hadn’t thought Lan Zhan would still — not after all he’d done.

“A-Xian.” Shijie wiped her thumbs under his eyes, and he realized he’d begun crying again. “Those of us who know you for who you are, and not the masks you show the world, cannot help but love you.”

Lan Zhan was — Lan Zhan —

Wei Wuxian could not drag him into this, whatever revenge he was expected take. But maybe, someday —

“Anything else I should know while I’m out of tears?” He asked, when his eyes were swollen and puffy and finally dry.

She told him about the Wen siblings, and he wasn’t out of tears after all. At least Shijie had always been a sympathetic crier, so at least he wasn’t alone in his weeping.

After their tears finally died away, and Shijie had plucked a pair of his drying talismans from her sleeve, she refilled his soup. Wei Wuxian really was out of tears this time, or he might have started off again.

Only then did he remember to clarify what, exactly, was going on. Now that Shijie had told him all the important things. That he hadn’t gotten everyone he ever loved killed or condemned to a life of misery, after all.

“How did you manage this?” He asked around a mouthful off heavenly pork. “Whose body is this, I mean? And yours?”

Wei Wuxian listened with increasing horror as Jiang Yanli told the story of waking up in the body of the new Madame Jin, all the way through to the array he’d woken up in. His curiosity was sparked by the implications of what Qin Su had done — closer to what he’d been trying to accomplish with the arrays than anything he’d been able to achieve.

And she’d done it entirely by accident, with consequences they had yet to fully understand. All of which seemed to rest on Qin Su’s shoulders, with no signs that Shijie was anything but firmly anchored in her body. It bore further investigation anyways.

Though for the moment, another concern was more pressing.

“Xue Yang?” Shijie had gone near Xue Yang to bring him back? That twisted, murdering bastard without even a sense of scale to temper his depravity. And she’d done it for him. He wasn’t worth the risk. He should have killed Xue Yang years ago, when he had the chance — There was a wrenching feeling in his gut as his fear and anger spiked, irrationally, over a matter already settled. “Oh, ow. What the fuck.”

No, not his gut. His lower dantian.  That sure was a tainted golden core, so it really must have been Xue Yang. The state of his golden core would certainly explain why Wei Wuxian felt so off.

Xue Yang’s golden core, which was now his. A golden core, something he’d long believed lost to him forever, resting inside him, an unwilling gift from his enemy.

Wei Wuxian was simultaneously disgusted and euphoric.

He’d never had to deal with the risk of qi deviation before, because the resentful energy hadn’t interacted nearly so badly with the sluggish flow in his meridians after its driving force was removed.

“What’s wrong?” Jiang Yanli put one hand over his forehead, and held his wrist in the other. He felt her, prodding around for what was wrong with spiritual energy. Something she never could have managed before.

Only Wen Qing knew how to treat this, though.

“Well, when a cultivator with a golden core uses demonic cultivation, it taints it with resentful energy. A little is fine and gets burned off, but a lot like Xue Yang — I’m surprised at how well he was holding off from a qi deviation, honestly.” “That’s why when I —” He broke off in a laugh.

Shit.

It was too much to hope that Shijie hadn’t caught his slip. “A-Xian. What happened to your golden core?”

“Um.” He really should have said Wen Zhuliu, but he couldn’t lie directly to Shijie. Not when she was staring at him, wide-eyed and concerned. Even if those eyes weren’t the ones he knew.

Wei Wuxian dared anyone to resist that.

When his confession was complete, she said nothing. Only sniffled.

Finally, she hugged him tight again, and ladled out more soup, though Wei Wuxian had yet to finish the second bowl. He dug in, shoveling each bite in, but chewing slowly, savoring the flavor like he’d never known he should before.

Tainted or not, the golden core inside him was fully formed and strong. An impossibility and a blessing.

“Are you all finished with the emotional reunion?” Nie Huaisang of all people swanned through the door. “Great! Hi, Wei-xiong!”

Gaping, he looked from Nie Huaisang to Shijie.

Shijie’s expression said oh right, him.

Ok, then. This was happening. “Hi, Nie-xiong. How have you been.”

Nie Huaisang plopped down in a heap across the soup tureen from him. “I’ve been better! Jin Guangyao killed my Dage, so we’re getting revenge.”

“Right, Shijie told me. Is he the only one I have to kill?”

Shijie shook her head, confirming his suspicions. “Him, another sect leader, and a few of Jin Guangyao’s guards. I’ll write the names down for you.”

Wei Wuxian really wanted to be done killing people. He wanted to — well, he wanted an impossibility. Traveling with Lan Zhan and A-Yuan, visiting Shijie and Jiang Cheng often in Lotus Pier, helping Wen Ning grow new varieties of vegetables in his garden, and arguing cultivation theory with Wen Qing. Even if Lan Zhan still wanted him, if they saved both the Wens, Jiang Cheng would never want to see him.

Shijie turned to Nie Huaisang. “We need to get him in to see Wen Qing.”

“Well, I can certainly provide a distraction, but he can’t just walk into Koi Tower like that.” Nie Huaisang hummed, tapping his closed fan against his lips. “You need a disguise.”

“A mask?” That would be the easiest thing to get a hold of.

But Nie Huaisang was shaking his head. “No, no, that won’t work. That’s just suspicious. You need something no one will see through.”

“I’ll think about it.” He wasn’t entirely sure that a mask wasn’t the solution — just not the sort of mask anyone else had ever come up with.

“You do that. In the meantime,” Nie Huaisang clapped his hands together. “Questions.”

“How did you get Xue Yang to give up his body to me?” Shijie hadn’t mentioned the details, but Wei Wuxian assumed the trickery had been at Nie Huaisang’s hands.

But Nie Huaisang tsked and shook his head. “I didn’t do it. Your sister did.”

“Shijie?”

“I lied.” She said, a slight flush rising to her cheeks. By the time she finished explaining what she’d done, he was looking at her in an entirely new light. “I wanted you back. I could save you, so I did.”

“Shijie. I — but. Your husband.” Wei Wuxian had been so caught up in having her back, that he hadn’t even apologized yet. What kind of useless brother was he?

Nie Huaisang got to his feet and practically ran for the door at the first sign of emotion.

“It wasn’t on purpose.” Shijie tried to put her hand on his shoulder, but Wei Wuxian flinched away.

“How did you know?” After all the time he’d spent antagonizing Jin Zixuan, calling him the Peacock and even attacking him in public, no one should have been willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Shijie did not deign to answer, simply looked at him as though the question was ridiculous. As though she still trusted him, after everything.

“Well, you’re right. I didn’t mean to, but it was my fault.” No matter how he thought of it, if it were not for Wei Wuxian — if he’d taken a less obvious route, if he’d taken Wen Qing with him instead or gone alone, if he’d imposed on Lan Zhan enough to ask for an escort, if he’d simply remembered how easily the power given by the Yin Iron could be stolen away — . “I stole Wen Ruohan’s control, and I forgot someone could do the same to me.”

“It is not your fault. You were ambushed, and scared, and trying to defend yourself.” Shijie hugged him, and again, he melted into her arms.

“It is, though. It is.” Wei Wuxian choked down a sob. He really couldn’t start that back up again. “I just wanted to meet your son.”

“You will.” She assured him, petting his hair soothingly, the way she had as long as he’d known her. Wei Wuxian couldn’t believe his luck.

When they emerged from the warehouse, Nie Huaisang was waiting.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Shijie asked Nie Huaisang.

“If it’s here, Xue Yang hid it well.” He sighed heavily, and didn’t even flourish his fan. So clearly whatever he’d been searching for was important.

Something in this little town full of coffins and burial goods, complete with paper mannequins peering out the windows. It was scarcely dusk, but the streets were already empty. He could feel — but not see, not like the mysterious resident of Shijie’s head — the mostly inert resentful energy everywhere. He could see what would have attracted Xue Yang to the town, but not why he wouldn’t have simply made it more of a living hell, and moved along.

The slippery little bastard had done nothing but complain of boredom on the way to what should have been his execution, after all. “What was he doing here anyway? It’s an eerie little town, but you said he’d been here a while?”

“Well, he was kicked out by Jin Guangyao, and it seems he set up a domestic little arrangement with Xiao Xingchen.” Nie Huaisang made an effort to sound flighty but his mind was clearly still elsewhere.

How the — no, actually, he didn’t want to know. Everything Wei Wuxian learned of the events following his death was stranger and more unsettling. “And my shishu won’t wonder what happened when he never comes back?”

Peering into the darkness of an alley, Nie Huaisang flapped a hand dismissively. “I’m having Song Lan tracked down. He’ll forget all about him soon enough.”

Good for his shishu. He deserved his second chance at love. Wei Wuxian hadn’t had time to be devastated over their separation, the failure of what he’d wanted his life to be because he’d been too busy throwing it away.

But maybe, just maybe. If he completed Xue Yang’s revenge and was here to stay, if Shijie and A-Ling and the Wen siblings were all safe and secure. Maybe he could earn a second chance with Lan Zhan someday.

It would take years to make up for his mistakes, Wei Wuxian imagined, a slow courting of hundreds of handmade gifts and tracking down the most challenging hauntings across the cultivation world. He’d remind Lan Zhan that he was good with children, and be there to help him raise A-Yuan the rest of the way. Show him he would never miss another moment.

There went his imagination, wanting things that were distant possibilities as best. Who was to say Lan Zhan hadn’t moved on? All Shijie had to go on was guesses, gossip, and a glimpse.

They passed a row of coffins, just waiting to be filled with some unlucky sap. Wei Wuxian drew up short. “Why do I sense some really strong resentful energy?”

“Xue Yang was turning people into puppets for fun.” Nie Huaisang said, causing both him and Shijie to glare at him. It seemed he’d failed to mention that to both of them.

Though, honestly, Wei Wuxian should have guessed. He pinpointed the coffin that felt like a mass grave, and whistled with no force behind it. Even so, a shifting spiderweb of resentful energy briefly became visible. That was a ward. One that would take him about an hour to unravel, using demonic cultivation.

Or, conveniently, application of Xue Yang’s own spiritual energy.

“No, this is more static. Almost like — “ He shoved hard at the lid of the coffin, and it slid forward a few inches, letting out a cloud of black smoke. “Shit, Xue Yang’s piece of Yin Iron.”

“Excellent! Exactly what I was looking for.” Nie Huaisang perked up, his usual good humor restored. “Do you think you can —” Shijie, uncharacteristically, pinched his arm sharply. “Jiang-guniang, why? I was going to say destroy it.”

“Sure,” He said absently. “Same way I did the Tiger Seal.”

“Can you destroy it without hurting yourself?” Shijie asked gently, reminding him exactly how that had gone.

“I can’t, but didn’t Lan Xichen manage it somehow?” He kept shoving at the lid, to no avail. Right, Xue Yang must have a sword somewhere. He reached into his sleeve and found a hilt, as well as a pair of qiankun bags.

“He said that, but Dage told me in confidence that the pair of them sealed them away again in secret. I don’t know if Erge told him where. I certainly don’t know.” Nie Huaisang paused. “And yes, I do mean that.”

The sword felt worse than the core, like it was used to Xue Yang’s cultivation. Jiangzai, it was called. That felt suiting. But though it resisted him, when Wei Wuxian sent a bolt of energy through it, the lid went flying into a wall thirty feet away.

Oh, so it was either nothing or too much with Jiangzai. He saw how it was.

Wei Wuxian stared down at the contents nestled inside. The Yin Iron was there, shaped into what looked like another Tiger Seal, but less powerful by far. Stacked right on top of two items that were undoubtedly just soaking in that resentful energy. Fuck. “Um. Nie-xiong? I think Xue Yang has your brother’s body. Also Baxia.”

It was agreed that Nie Mingjue’s body would have to be retrieved the next day, as Wei Wuxian had only just been resurrected and neither Nie Huaisang nor Shijie could fly. Shijie didn’t say, but he assumed she either hadn’t had time to learn, or temperamental swords were a side effect of resurrection.

In case it was the latter, he should probably bring that up at some point.

Shijie handed him some talisman paper, so he could construct a ward over the coffin, and they went down the foothills to an inn where Jin Ling was waiting.

His baby nephew had already been put to bed by the time they arrived. Which was all for the better because that meant Wei Wuxian actually got to see him.

Jin Ling was so big already, grown bigger than A-Yuan had been in what seemed to him the blink of an eye. Six years old, when he should have been all of a hundred days. Wei Wuxian reached out and hesitated, looking up at his shijie.

She nodded, watching them both with her heart in her eyes.

He hesitated several more times on the way to touching A-Ling’s hair, afraid that touch would shatter the illusion. But A-Ling didn’t disappear when Wei Wuxian touched him. A-Ling’s skin had the downy texture of childhood and his hair was silky under his fingertips, a sign of how healthy and loved he was. Jiang Cheng had taken such good care of him, though that never should have been his job, if not for Wei Wuxian.

A-Ling stirred under his touch, and he snatched his hand back, but the boy only shifted onto his side, and stuck his thumb into his mouth.

Wei Wuxian loved him so much, just as he’d known he would.

Because Wei Wuxian couldn’t bear to give up his scant moments with his darling nephew, he, Shijie, and Nie Huaisang sat on the floor to discuss how they would break Wei Wuxian into Koi Tower unnoticed.

Not something he ever expected to want. But he did want to see Wen Qing for himself — they needed to yell at each other for self-sacrifice, without her paralyzing him again. And Shijie would worry if she didn’t know he was alright. So Wei Wuxian supposed he would let Wen Qing poke around in Xue Yang’s core.

As Shije and Nie Huaisang heatedly (for them) debated their methods, Wei Wuxian occupied himself by unpacking Xue Yang’s bags item by item.

The current Nie First Disciple, a woman he’d fought alongside on occasion during the Sunshot Campaign, stood guard outside the door. Neither she, nor the younger disciples accompanying her, had seen remotely surprised to see him. So Wei Wuxian assumed resurrecting notorious traitors was just par for the course in things their sect leader did.

He reached in and grabbed something with an odd, elastic texture. Pulling it out, he flinched. And flung it on the floor.

It was a mask of someone’s face. He’d seen them before, when a possessed woman in Yunmeng had started carving the faces off her neighbors and wearing them as masks. This, though, was melded together to form a face disturbingly similar to Song Lan’s. And according to Nie Huaisang, Song Lan was still alive.

Had he written about that night hunt? Xue Yang could easily have modified the method. He would bet Jin Guangyao had focused on the profitable ideas among his inventions, and let Xue Yang make the most grotesque techniques of his demonic cultivation worse. The techniques that could do good had almost certainly been left to languish.

Even if Jin Guangyao wanted to leave reform as his legacy, he couldn’t openly use techniques that showed demonic cultivation was not all sacrificing virgins and creating puppets from amalgamated rotting meat. Better for him that the Yiling Laozu remained a monster under the bed, even if it meant leaving people to starve, their fields and forests tainted with resentful energy.

Well, if Xue Yang could twist his techniques, Wei Wuxian could twist them back.

“You, Wei-xiong, look like you’re having an idea.” Nie Huaisang fluttered his fan. Wei Wuxian’s eyes narrowed as he looked back and forth between it, and the creepy skin mask on the ground.

He thought back to the brightest period of his childhood, flashes of a masked figured twirling and kicking on a stage, flourishing a fan in sharp movements, creating an illusion of transformation. “Nie-xiong. You’re a cultural connoisseur.”

“I make an effort.”

“That dance where the performer changes masks behind a fan — do you know how it works?” The dance, from Meishan, involved face changes, using greasepaint or changing the color of a beard. Or, more importantly, masks. Madame Yu had enjoyed it, often hiring troops from her natal sect’s territory to perform for guests and during festivals. Wei Wuxian didn’t know the trick to it, but Nie Huaisang might.

“The Bian Lian? That is a particular favorite of mine.”

“No, really? I would never have guessed.” He never would have expected Nie Huaisang of all people to enjoy a dance that involved fans! Or masks!

Nie Huaisang rapped him on the shin with his fan, and “Ow, fuck, is that thing made of steel?”

“I wouldn’t know.” Nie Huaisang said primly, which Wei Wuxian took as a yes.

“Huaisang.” Shijie gave him a disappointed look.

It wasn’t quite as stern as in her own face, Qin Su’s heart shaped face rendering it somehow even more gently chiding, but it was just as effective. Nie Huaisang sighed. “Yes, I know how it works. Would you like me to sketch a diagram?”

“Please.”

Wei Wuxian interpreted Nie Huaisang’s caving to Shijie as his having been officially taken under her wing. He wondered if that meant they were brothers now.

It was a little-known secret that Wei Wuxian was not the only child raised by Jiang Fengmian to collect family wherever he went. He had, in fact, picked up that trait from his sister. Around the time she’d decided he was her didi, no matter that Wei Wuxian was never officially adopted into the clan.

“What are you thinking, A-Xian?” Shijie asked, while Nie Huaisang was busy being unnecessarily artistic with his diagram. Wei Wuxian would have so many extraneous swirls to work around.

“Well, I’m not wearing that thing. I’m pretty sure it is human skin, just not the person’s face it’s copying.” Wei Wuxian might control corpses on occasion, but he wasn’t wearing one on his face. That was just gross, in a uniquely Xue Yang fashion. Just remembering the moment he’d touched it made him want to spend the next week becoming a prune in an excessively soapy bath. “But I can’t just run around like this.”

Neither Wei Wuxian’s own face nor Xue Yang’s was exactly ideal. But Xue Yang had committed each and every crime he was accused of, with more undoubtedly yet to come. Wei Wuxian had only committed some of crimes he was given credit for. He was grateful Shijie had ensured he was given his own back.

Besides, Wei Wuxian was clearly better looking than Xue Yang, whether they were being judged on a scale of handsomeness or prettiness.

That didn’t stop either face from being a problem. “So I thought, why not make a mask where I can pretend to be Xue Yang? But where I can also quickly change to a harmless face, and avoid any future angry mobs.”

Wei Wuxian would strongly prefer not to be the target of future angry mobs. The once had been more than enough.

“Impersonate Xue Yang? But A-Xian —” Shijie frowned, an expression he never wanted to put on her face. “Don’t get more involved in this than you need to be for my sake. I brought you back for selfish reasons, and I can ensure those marks disappear and leave you free.”

Obviously, Wei Wuxian would never do that. “Shijie, you brought me back because you care. And I love you too, so don’t tell me not to help you.”

She reached out to pet his hair, and he leaned into it. “You’ve sacrificed enough.”

Shijie might think so, but he would never agree. Wei Wuxian would always want to help. Not because he owed her for what he’d done — which he did — but because he loved her. On top of that, she was trying to overthrow a child murderer, and improve the lives of ordinary people in an unprecedented way. Of course he would do anything he could to help.

And he didn't want her to have to learn how to kill.

He pulled away, and grasped her too-slim shoulders instead to meet those bizarre, smaller eyes that still, somehow, felt like her. “It’s not about sacrifice. I can be a distraction for you. If Jin Guangyao’s as clever as you say — and I remember that was  my impression of him — he won’t stay ignorant of what you’re doing forever.”

“A-Xian—”

Wei Wuxian cut off her protest. This was the best way for him to help. Any protest she had could only be an attempt to protect him. “But if Xue Yang’s a ghost he can’t catch? Maybe you can pull it off.”

#the untamed #cql #wangxian #yanqing #qin su #the sacrifice summon! JYL fic #where the summoner (qin su) sticks around #this time featuring emotional reunions #jiang yanli being the only person in the cultivation world with communication skills #and wei wuxian's mad science tendencies

[atlasfreak]

hell is hot from your mistakes

chapter three; Tumblr edition

The afterlife is a mess of time and space.

Dream got the brunt end of that mess, of time, and bad luck follows Tommy even in death.

Dream is mere seconds too late reviving him.

Tommy wakes up in a familiar, unfamiliar world in a familiar, unfamiliar body that looks so much like an old friend of his, and yet he remembers everything when really, he shouldn't. His brother's voice guides him, the Nether is blistering heat and dust and his hands are hoofed.

ArchiveOfOurOwn Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30073104/ or THIS

Tommy spends the next day on high alert.

They don't leave the cave, to Wilbur's annoyance; Come on, it'll help things. You- you always took walks when you were upset back before exile, didn't you? His voice floats around distantly - as though he wasn't really back at Tommy's side yet - but Tommy can hear him well enough to be pissed.

"We're not going outside, Wil. We went out fucking yesterday - less than a day ago! And someone fucking died. We stay in here. I wouldn't be allowed to go, anyway."

Fine. Fine. But we should head outside. I have t- I'm rather bored.

"Wilbur, I swear to Philza fuckin' Minecraft-"

Truth is, Tommy did want to go out - he wanted to roam the red fields and forests, counting shroomlights and watching zombified piglins growl at each other. He can't stand it, being cooped up in a cave too empty, space next to him too cold.

But it'll be a long, long while yet before his piglin mother even considers letting him leave the safe sanctuary of the cave.

Speaking of - she's curled in on herself, watching him with a hawk's eye, red from tough Nether tears; tears sapped of all water, tears leaving saline stains along her cheeks. All day she's been torn between getting lost in her awful, awful grief and caring for him, watching over him, protecting him. If not for Tommy, she'd probably sleep the day away in her pain. So Tommy spends the afternoon in the red red cave, trying to entertain his guests and keep his mother from mourning... too heavily. Right now, that means running all around and jumping over her and over the soul soil patch and over the edge of the far side of the cave, where it leads down into a second one.

He's trying, anyway. Wilbur isn't making this any easier. At all.

He sounds in Tommy's left ear. Tommy, if I scout ahead do you- and then he's too quiet for Tommy to hear, -forest? How about that?

"You cut out, Wil," Tommy murmurs, crouching down and bunching his haunches to jump. Mama piglin sprawls out, giving him less of a challenge.

What? You're not just trying to get me to shut up, are you? Wilbur pauses, I'm- I'm cutting out?

"I dunno. You just sound really far away."

I- how long have I sounded far away for?

"A day or so," Tommy mumbles, springing up and landing on all fours on the netherrack behind his mother. She purrs and he feels her tail whip his arm as it wags. Approval. "Ever since you left."

Left?

"To go take brother piglin to the dead zone, right?" Tommy asks. "You know. You went silent. And you were back when I woke up."

Oh! Oh, yes. Yes, I took the piglin to the - how do you call it? The Death Zone, so you could be reunite when you die, Tommy. Lemme tell you, he did not want to leave you guys alone.

"Oh. He's safe then?"

Yes. He's safe - he's with a friend.

The former blonde laughs. "A friend? Yeah, he'll either love or hate Mexican Dream, I think."

Oh, he loved Mexican Dream, Wilbur smiles. Very entertaining fellow, M.D.

Wilbur's voice grows no louder, no closer as they talk; still it sounds far off, distant. Tommy brushes it off and glances to his side. Mama piglin is laying over on her side now, eyes closed.

Tommy rumbles gently at her. Wilbur pauses in what he's saying to stare as Tommy goes to lay beside her -she deserves rest.

Is your mother asleep? Wilbur asks quietly, as if she could hear him.

"Yes," Tommy whispers. "She would've growled back otherwise, even if she's sad."

Good. Come on, let's go.

Tommy glances over, like he'll find Wilbur; like Wilbur will be standing beside him. "What?"

Let's go. Y'know, outside. Come on, Toms, we're going to the forest.

Tommy feels panic flare up in his stomach. "No, nonononono, no. I'm not just leaving her, Wilbur!"

We'll come back, don't worry, Wilbur insists. I'll make sure you don't get jumped. Come on. We need to find- I need to show you something.

Tommy hesitates. He's not.. sure about this. About following Wilbur again. Trust only goes so far when you're TommyInnit, post death.

He voices his hesitation.

Theseus fuckin' Innit, I won't let anything happen to you out there, Wilbur declares. Come on. I'll protect you.

"How're you gonna 'protect me' if you're a fucking voice?"

I'll spec. I'll warn you and scout- it's called ghosting for a reason. It's ok, Toms. I have your back.

"You're sure," Tommy mumbles, casting one last look at his mother. "And nothing- nothing bad will happen?"

Nothing bad will happen. I swear on my life- well. My death.

Tommy swallows and he weighs his options and he makes a decision.

He follows Wilbur's voice out of the cave.

Wilbur does keep his promise, though; whispering Not there, there's a pack of piglins or Watch out to the right, there's a hoglin over there whenever he senses movement. Tommy's head shoots up at every creak or murmur or whistle, jumpier than a chicken on Christmas Eve. Wilbur chuckles.

"Wil, where- where are we going?"

It's somewhere. I don't know exactly.

"Wh- I thought you had a plan!"

I- I kinda do, I don't bloody know!

"Wilbur!" Tommy shouts, "Why'd you lead me out here if you didn't have a plan?"

Keep your voice down. You don't wanna end up like m- mister piglin brother.

"Low ass fuckin' blow," Tommy snarls, but he lowers his volume. "If I die out here, Mama won't even find my body. The hogs will eat it. I don't wanna die again, Wil, I really, really don't."

You won't die, Wilbur says, voice confident as a dying man - take that how you will. If you die, I've failed. You won't die.

"You're so fuckin' weird," Tommy growls as they continue walking - just a little piglin and his disembodied voice of a brother, wandering through the brush. "You're so fuckin' weird today."

Hey, Tommy - look. What's that? Wilbur suddenly asks. His voice is clearer, closer than it's been in hours. Tommy glances over. A little stream of lava falls from the Nether roof and spills across the netherrack floor. Two little red creations bathe in its fiery warmth.

"That's a strider, innit?" Tommy mutters. "You ride 'em cross lava."

Tommy, go up to it, Wilbur whispers. It's friendly.

"How'd'you bloody know that it's friendly?" Tommy grumbles, but he approaches the lava anyway. The nearer strider turns at his footsteps - it sees his hooves one step too close to the heat and it rushes to knock him away at the same time that Wilbur screams Not THAT close!

The strider shivers when it drags itself out of the lava to stand with Tommy - it's young, and Tommy is taller just barely. He moves a hand up to pet it. "Wil, go look for little blue and orange mushrooms. I wanna take the strider home."

I don't see anything, Wilbur says after a moment, but maybe it'll follow anyway.

The purple critter makes a noise akin to a fire crackling and Tommy plays with the frills on the side of its head. "Aw."

Tommy listens to the creak and chattering of his new friend and Wilbur is silent for a moment, then We should keep going.

"We found a strider. We can just head back. No need for all this, it'll keep us entertained for awhile. Little pet strider! I'll name it Shitass."

Wilbur sighs. Awful name. I hate it. What's it gonna speedrun - death? No, and that's not the only reason I lead you out here. There's something else I want you to see.

"Not the only- you wanted me to find a- you're so fuckin' sus today, I swear. Whatever." Tommy rubs his eyes with a groan. "Just tell me what you're looking for. We'll go find it some fuckin- some other day."

Fine.

Tommy blinks.

Then he falls to his knees. His head explodes with hundreds and thousands of voices, all screaming at him, all shrieking at him, all loud, too too loud, too fucking loud-

Wilbur is sus! Aww, Wilbro! Can you name the strider after me? What the fuck is that? Can you say hi to my friend? You missed diamonds. You need blue fungi to lead a strider! Kill it for string. Boat with legs!

Tommy clamps his hands over his ears.

Chat.

"Tommy."

He looks up.

Wilbur is visible.

He's visible! Translucent, yes, but he's there, sitting atop the strider, wearing the dirty old trenchcoat from Pogtopia, hair tangled and eyes gloomy. He points into the distance, across the Nether - the crimson forest ends in a cliff and leads into the wastelands.

"There." he says. His voice is clear as ever - real, not just in Tommy's head. "Over there is a fortress with intact blaze spawners and unlooted chests. It's just over that crest."

"What?" Tommy manages through the mind-wrecking chorus in his ears. He doesn't see anything- no stormy red-black bricks anywhere in sight, just black fuzz creeping into his vision with every new voice, shattering his eardrums. "A- a fortress?"

"You have to learn to fight like this - as a piglin," Wilbur instructs. He tilts his head up. "And you need to get blaze rods. Then- then you can go back."

Woah! DUDUDU! E. Dude just find the smp portal hub, 4head!.Go get them rods, you can take a blaze or two!

Tommy whips around to stare at Wilbur. "I thought you didn't want me to go back."

"I don't," Wilbur sighs. "I really don't. But- but it's not as safe here as I thought it was. I.. you need to get back to the Overworld. Not the DreamSMP specifically, but the Overworld. So.. I'll help you. There's a fortress across the Wastelands, completely untouched. You can get blaze rods and maybe obsidian and gear from it."

Tommy is silent.

Wilbur hops down, but his hand never leaves the strider's head. "That's a long time from now. Prove to me that you can survive it, I'll take you there."

"Why are you so incitement that I can't die?" Tommy demands. "I'll respawn, won't I?"

"Insistent, not incitement," Wilbur corrects with a shake of his head. It's so odd - Tommy still isn't used to seeing him. "You're a mob. You have one life and one life only and Tommy, listen to me. You can't lose it. You can't lose that life. You can't die."

"Wilbur, you're scaring me."

Suddenly, chat is gone. Tommy peaks open his eyes, his head is still aching like a bitch.

Wilbur's gone, too. There's only open space where he had just stood, the strider blinks at him slowly. Must be confused, poor thing. There's no trace that Wilbur had ever been corporeal - just empty air.

Good, Wilbur says; back to a lonely voice, back to being chat. Good.

Tommy swallows.

"Come- come on, Shitass," Tommy whispers after a moment. "Let's.. let's go home."

It's quieter than late nights in the van, quieter than the blanketing silence of L'manburg in chunk-error ruins. Wilbur doesn't speak, but Tommy can hear his breathing. It comforts him; Wilbur hasn't gotten tired of him, hasn't left him behind. The strider follows them without the encouragement of food, and Tommy is grateful. He doesn't want to have to search this place for a single speck of blue just to have a friend that's not a disembodied voice.

"Why don't you do that more often?" Tommy murmurs as they walk. He still isn't heavy enough to leave tracks like his mother, Tommy notes.

Do what?

"Become.. real. Ghostbur."

Other people can hear me, and see me. It's not safe.

"Chat gets really fuckin' loud when you do it," Tommy comments. "It hurts like hell. You're chat, usually, but like... a moving chat. Like you're real, just not visible. When you became see-able, chat came back. Are you blocking them?"

I should be more careful with that first bit, Wilbur hums. But now I want to go ghost less. If it hurts you and there's no point to doing it, why should I?

"Be more careful with w- wait, 'go ghost?'"

It's a reference.

"What to?"

This thing called Da-

Tommy freezes. He feels ice sink through his veins, weighing down his legs. A new sound, a sound neither Wil nor Tommy have ever heard before - it echoes through the Nether, loud and piercing. It hits his ears with the force of a sledgehammer on a bell. The strider pauses and Wilbur shuts his mouth. It's almost like a scream, a cry, a call. A desperate one.

Shit.

"Mama! Mama, it's ok, it's ok!" Tommy can't describe his voice as anything other than frantic, desperate. "Mama, I'm right here, I'm right here, I'm safe!" he shrieks, running through the brush, stumbling over roots and thorns and bushes. The strider follows slowly.

He tries to match her scream, tries to tip her off - I'm right here, I'm right here! - but he doesn't hear her come to him, doesn't see her relieved white eyes. Wilbur is in his ear, whispering warnings and observations and-

"I don't care if there are hoglins, fucking- find her! Find her, you useless fucking ghost!" Tommy screams at Wilbur.

There's just a beat, a single heartbeat of stunned silence. Tommy pants, a mixture of exhaustion and fury trying its hardest to escape him. Wilbur's voice echoes in his mind as he whips around, looking desperately.

If you go forward a bit, there's a cliffside. Below is a very tall tree, far left of the cave. She's standing beneath it.

Tommy runs. He runs faster than he ever had with hooves, maybe faster than he had with feet. His mother glances up as he scrabbles down the cliffside, slipping down jagged rock. He feels hot, wet pain run down his leg but he doesn't slow to check, just tumbles to the ground with a yelp. She shuts her mouth and scruffs him immediately, sniffing his head and checking, reassuring herself, please be alive please be alive please be alive despite the very real squirming and very alive "Mama, please calm down, please, I'm fine."

She collapses when she realises he's safe and fine and alive and she's not childless and she holds him close.

If it were anyone else, Tommy would squeal and try to wiggle out, away, but it's his mother. He lets her hold him, forcing a purr. See? I'm fine.

Wilbur's voice rings out, distant. Tommy, what about the strider?

Tommy doesn't respond. He just lays in his mother's arms, eyes closed.

Nevermind, got it! Tommy turns around to see the strider hit the ground right in front of them with a distressed crackle and an OW THAT MUST'VE HURT out of Wil.

His mother has it dead in seconds.

GOD DAMMIT! Wilbur screeches. I JUST GOT THAT B- I JUST GOT THAT DOWN!

Tommy flattens his ears. His mother snarls as the strider falls apart in a cloud of smoke and dust and string.

Wilbur sighs. Tommy raises an eyebrow. "Can't you just bring one back by yourself? You can- you can 'go ghost', you literally didn't need me."

There's no response.

"Wilbur?"

Not even soft breathing. Tommy's tail falls limp. His mother hugs him closer, as if the lack of wagging meant he was about to drop dead, evaporate like the strider had.

Wil's gone. Tommy can only hope he's going to come back, like he did when his brother died.

Maybe Wilbur just doesn't like death.

Tommy leans into his mother's soft fluff.

"I'm sorry for leaving."

She huffs.

"Please never - fuckin' - please never scream like that again."

Her response is a low snort. You made me afraid. I was afraid. Never run away like that, and I will never scream, Tommy understands.

"Ok, Piglin Mama," Tommy murmurs. "Ok."

Wilbur runs his hands through his hair - real hair. Real, physical, human hair. Living hands, real hair.

He's furious. He won't let it show.

"What's this?" He asks, calm and collected and cool. With a soft smile and curious eyes - he's used to playing a mellow role, an innocent role. "What've you done?"

Dream narrows his eyes. "Why now did it work? Why couldn't I bring you back before, Wilbur?"

Wilbur ignores him, instead digging through his trenchcoat pockets. "Oh, I still have my deck!" he chirps. "Wanna play solitaire?"

"Is it why I can't bring back Tommy?"

"Or are you more of a poker guy? What about war? That's easy enough for you, I think."

"Wilbur," Dream hisses. "Listen to me."

"We could play Uno - queen can be pick up two, king can be pick up four, joker can be skip! Or reverse-"

"WILBUR!"

Wil smiles. "Yes, Dream?"

"Why can't I ressurect Tommy?"

"Do you not like card games? I'm afraid I've only got cards." Dream stands and Wilbur raises an eyebrow. "Aw, do you really have to look up to make eye contact with me?"

"It's because you're wearing tall boots. I'm not wearing shoes," Dream insists. "Sam took them," he adds quietly.

"Sure it's the boots, Dream," Wil snickers. "Sure."

Dream blinks. "Don't distract me."

"I didn't do anything."

"Listen up, Wilbur Soot," Dream snarls.

"Bit formal, what with the whole full name bit, but I'm listening. I'm listening, go ahead, Dream." Wilbur tilts his head, insufferably smug.

"You will tell me how to revive Tommy - you'll tell me what you did, you'll stop tampering - or I will kill you. Do you hear me, Wilbur? Do you understand me? I will kill you."

Wilbur sorts through his deck, counting cards and yawning. Unimpressed.

"I will kill you and bring you back and kill you again. Over and over and over, as long as it takes. Every minute of every hour of every day of every month of every year until. You. Spill. Your. Secrets. Now do you want to listen to me, and do it the easy, easy, easiest way, or d-"

"Actually, I'm a bit - little itty bitty bit, tiny bit - tired of of this whole living thing, love," Wilbur interrupts. Dream stutters as Wilbur runs past Dream, spins round to face him and fall back, arms spread like a bird and wearing a shit eating grin. Wilbur Soot throws himself at burning, starving lava with a silly salute and bright eyes.

"BYE, DREAM!"

The freckled man can't do anything but stare as Wilbur's face contorts in awful, horrible pain for just a moment, then gone. Fully, completely gone - nothing but a swirl of smoke. The scent of burnt flesh stains the air and Dream feels like he's going to vomit. A charred sleeve falls to the ground in front of him - embroidered patches display old flags.

Dream picks up the cloth.

Green and white and pink, blue and purple with a white... sun? And-

He clenches his hand around the scrap.

Half a black circle, a fine yellow border and a bold yellow x. A line of blue runs along the top, and red along the bottom, and white cuts through the center with two more crosses.

The flag of a fallen nation.

Dream holds the patch with shaking hands, fury racing through his veins like hot fire, the fire that ravaged fur and ravaged flesh. He lifts the chunk of fabric to the lava, flinching as the fire swallows it eagerly and licks at his skin with a flash of searing, searing pain. Tears prick at his eyes as he holds a scorched, damaged hand to his chest, breathing like sailer too close to the sea and its sirens. Dreams turns and he swipes the water off his face and he throws it to the ground, to the ring of red blood (his own, his own blood, his own horrible horrible red blood) and a single glove, a single fingerless glove taken from his own hands, a glove with just traces, traces, traces of a dead man, miniscule little skin cells, gloves he had borrowed long ago from hands stained gray with gunpowder, and he waits for the blood to lighten and glow and he waits for Wilbur to appear again with the same cold, cold eyes.

Wilbur doesn't respond.

Dream punches the wall. "STOP TAMPERING! STOP TAMPERING!"

He almost hears the mocking laughter.

Then stop trying.

Far, far away, a small piglin opens his eyes. He's tucked against a bigger piglin, a sow who had never let him sleep beside her before.

There's a baby strider sleeping in front of him an a kind voice in his ears.

Good morning, Tommy.

"Oh, Wilbur! Wil, you're back! Wil. Wil. Wil. Wil, where were you?"

Off. Visited an old friend, brought a new one. Sorry about- about yesterday.

"It's ok, I think. And, by the way?"

Hm?

"Thank you, Wilbur."

For the strider?

"For... everything, really. Everything here."

Oh.

Tommy doesn't hear Wilbur's quiet ...Don't thank me yet.

#tommyinnit #tommy innit #dsmp tommy #dsmp tommy innit #dsmp tommyinnit #dreamsmp #dream smp #dsmp #smp #dsmp fanfiction #fanfiction #dreamSMP fanfiction #wilbur soot #wilbur mcyt #wilbur #wilbursoot #mcyt wilbur #mcyt tommy #mcyt tommyinnit #tommyinnit mcyt #tommy mcyt #dreamsmp mcyt #mcyt dreamsmp #dream mcyt #dreamwastaken #mcyt dream #abusive dream #dsmp dream #dreamsmp dream #atlas; hell is hot from your mistakes

[mwokozi369]

What are your thoughts of Canon SU and SUF

I don’t love either one. I do the concept and the AUs however I don’t like the canon that much. The ending was rushed and honestly had so much potential and was wasn’t handled with care. I really hate of the filler. Yes I understand that they help flesh out Steven but my favorite was always the Diamonds and Homeworld so much though that that’s what I focus on and I’ve never rewatched an episode of SUF but have rewatched episodes involving Homeworld and the Diamonds in SU however I did not watch townie episodes as I find them dull and boring. They should have fleshed out Homeworld and the Diamonds. We know so little and honestly Homeworld was what interested me the most and it was barely covered. I honestly don’t care about any of the townies and I really hate those episodes around them. I just don’t find them interesting for me but again I love the concept and the possibilities I just see it as a missed opportunity in my eyes. I don’t hate the show just I don’t find almost every episode enjoyable.

SUF I like the concept too but it’s often pretty boring and it rubs me the wrong way how they show the Diamonds as loving good people and Pink as evil. Yes they are working to be better but Pink did that too. Steven in this makes me hate him so much and I really lose interest. I really want to see him get some sense knocked into him. Steven is a victim blamer in this and I just see him as those horrible people that hurt me by blaming me which also helped worsen my problems. I honestly hate Steven in this. Pink also saved the world and she went though way worse than Steven, she did all this good yet Steven trashes on her and though he doesn’t see the other three as redeemed he doesn’t trash on them that much. I hate Steven in this so much. He’s so toxic and a victim blamer in this, he sides with abusers over the victim who tried to be better. It’s hard to care about him for me in SUF.

In the end I saw SU as a missed opportunity however I did continue to watch it for the Homeworld stuff and in SUF I just hated it because of all the toxic victim blaming and I hate Steven in it. I did like it when Jasper beat that ungrateful brat. In Steven Universe the Movie I also hated Steven in it and I will admit a smiled when Spinel bonked him in the face. He kinda needs a good dose of reality and I hope his therapist reminds him of Pink’s side. I agree with some of the stories but then saying it was not okay for Pink to run away from her abusers is not okay. If you are being abused run, cut ties and never look back.

SU was boring and had so much potential however I don’t hate it.

SUF I hate it so much.

#steven universe #pink diamond #yellow diamond #white diamond #blue diamond #rant #steven universe the movie #Steven universe future #spinel #jasper

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Stop, It's Already Dead

I’ve been trying to watch Army of the Dead since it came out but every time i start, i end of bailing on it because it’s trash. Yeah, that’s it. This movie is trash. You can literally stop reading this review right now because that’s the verdict. Army of the Dead is shallow, inconsequential, zombie murder porn wit that trademark Zack Snyder, edgelord, spice. It’s f*cking ridiculous and i hated every minute of it. That’s it. That’s the review. Don’t watch this rancid spooge. Now, if you want to know why i hated it so much, read on. But it really is one of the worst things i have seen all year.

The Adequate

Dave Batista works magic with the material on hand. Zack Snyder isn’t know for having emotional bite or a realistic edge to any of the characters in his films but Batista was able to hone in on something and does a decent job of letting me tolerate this clusterf*ck. His Scott Ward is easily the best thing about this flick.

The carnage displayed while the opening credits rolled was almost as dope as Zombieland and i appreciated that. Literally the only time during the film where i didn’t feel like someone was standing on my sack and twisting.

Also, Hiroyuki Sanada is in this. I don’t know the name of his character and i don’t care i just genuinely enjoy Sanada’s work. He is an excellent actor and, similarly to Ken Watanabe, makes everything he’s in better, regardless of his role’s size or relevance.

The integration of Tig Notaro was kind of seamless. That sh*t was surprising because every one of her scenes was added in post. She had no interaction with any of the cast, not even in pick-ups. That’s just her, in front of a green screen, talking to herself. Of course, there are scenes where that is very apparent but the fact she was even able to replaces an entire actor wrapped month beforehand, is kind of a miracle and testament to the absurd technical skill Snyder wields as movie maker.

The Horrid

Zack Snyder. Literally everything i am about to unload, is Zack Snyder’s fault. This “film” is pure Zack Snyder. More so than the Snyder cut of Justice League. More so than BvS. Even more than f*cking Sucker Punch. Netflix gave this man a bunch of money and told he to go “create” and, to his credit, Snyder did just that. Unfortunately, he created hot dumpster water topped with soggy diarrhea.

Seriously, everything i have a problem with, has Zack Snyder’s name on it. He was the director, the writer, the screenplay writer, AND the f*cking cinematographer. What the f*ck, dude? Like, you want to be an auteur director, fine. Be good at it. Be good at movies if you’re trying to wear all of those hats. Zack, as a filmmaker, is bad at ALL of them. At best, he’s pedestrian, so doing all of that, just infuses abject mediocrity throughout this movie and it shows.

I’ve seen a lot of cats haring of Snyder’s depth of field choices but I'll take it one step further; What the f*ck was up with the shot composition as a whole, in this film? It was bad! All of it was so bad! There was no substance, no dynamism in the camerawork or the way the shots were set up. I’m not going to sit here and say it was just a bunch of static work, like how someone would film a play for theatrical exhibition, but it wasn’t that much better. I was watching this sh*t and thought to myself, “Hamilton had better camera work than this. F*ck.”

The whole ass plot is paper thing. I’m watching these first few minutes and it’s readily apparent that the guv’ment knows zombies be doing a zombie and Vegas is lost. Why the f*ck didn’t they nuke that motherf*cker off the face of the earth. Straight up Raccoon City that b*tch. There is nothing, no plot contrivance or mental gymnastics that could make believe that Las Vegas wouldn’t have been scrubbed off the map, within a week of this outbreak. Not after seeing actual paratroopers floating in to their deaths and straight up napalm strikes on the Strip. Why did anyone think building a fence out of shipping containers was a good long term option for containment! And that’s literally just in the opening credits! It gets worse as the flick progresses, man! The actual plot is trash!

Now, the actual premise? Interesting. It could have been interesting. But then Zack Snyder snyder’ed it up with the f*cking execution. Look, in order to write a great zombie flick, you need a strong human element. That’s where the audience is going to focus. They’re going to try and find the humanity in a sea of despair. Every great Zombie flick has a laughably strong lead and fantastic supporting characters you come to care about, usually withing the first act. 28 Days later is a fantastic example of how to execute your Zombie disaster apocalypse. You do not give a sh*t about any of the characters in Army. Snyder tries with Batista, thus the father-daughter relationship, but that cliche sh*t was cookie cutter from a whole different movie, which I'm going to get into next...

Army of the Dead is Aliens. It’s just a popularization of Aliens. It’s the same f*cking movie, but worse. There are shot-for-shot recreations in this movie, with just enough changed so Snyder won’t get sued. Just, off the top of my head, the ending. It’s exactly the same as f*cking Aliens! Literally the same goddamn ending! Heroes survive a gauntlet of monsters, rush to the top of or roof. Pilot of escape flying contraption kissing. Hero curses pilot of said whirly dervish. Queen Alien or Zombie King shows up. Pilot returns at the last minute to save survivors. Same. F*cking. Scene. And that’s just one. There are SO many in this thing you’d think Snyder watched Aliens everyday on set and just stole sh*t from that flick to add to his. It’s real bad. Real f*cking bad, man. which exasperates my next point...

This movie is f*cking boring. i was bored. If you’re stealing the entirety of Aliens, how do you f*ck that it up so bad? The same movie, which thrilled and entertained me thirty years ago, sh*t the bed so hard, today, and i don’t know how that happened. It’s infuriating when i think about it for too long. Speaking of long...

Why the f*ck is this anal prolapse, two and half hours long?? Why did you need this much movie to tell so little story? Seriously, how the f*ck is there this much run time yet, no actual f*cking characters outside of whatever the f*ck Batista was able to save with his sheer screen presence? How do you have all of this time and still not craft a character in which to invest?? In a f*cking Zombie movie?!

Also, he hired a rapist.

The Verdict

This movie sucks. For all of the reasons outlined above. I told you that in the beginning. You didn’t have to rad this far. You knew i hated this movie within the first sentence. This sh*t was a waste of my life. Batista is good in it and that sh* Snyder did with Tig was pretty cool, but everything else is bad. All of it. None of this movie is good. It was boring. It wasn’t entertaining. There are no characters. The plot is dumb. The execution is worse. The run time is absurd. Did i mention how bored i was? Army of the Dead is garbage. This is a bad movie. This is what you get when you just let Zack Snyder do whatever the f*ck he wants with no limits or boundaries. Snyder is bad at movies and he keeps proving it. I have no idea why people keep giving this obvious fraud work.

#Smokey brand Movie Reviews #Army of the Dead

[a-real-ackerman]

Perfect Scenario

summary: You, a super human, an excellent actor and a liar with debatable ethics; are having a hard time overcoming feelings  no one new you were capable of. On top of it, you have to deal with your “arch enemy” who has dedicated himself on the way of ruining your chances at your new life.

pairing: Sherlock x superhuman!Reader

warnings: Nothing much, just a shitty chapter and spelling mistakes this time.

A/N: Not making the reader gender natural was a mistake. I didn't think I could do it so reader is female. Gif not mine. And if you can, please comment what I can improve about my grammer/writing, English is my second language:)

Previous chapter:

Chapter two: Disguise

     “ So,” asked John, “ how was the date?”

      “Fine.” 

       It took a moment to Sherlock to realise what he said.

       “Wait no. John, no.”

       “ Mhmp,” John continued typing on his blog. Pursing his lips, trying to hide his smile, he turned to Sherlock who was marching back and forth in front of the window for hours.

       “ Is she the main suspect? “ asked John, seeming more serious now.

        “ She seems so, yes.” answered detective, his thoughtful eyes didn’t leave the empty street.

        John ‘hmph’ed again. The unbreakable silence was awkward. He tried for another conversation:

       “ Are you waiting for- someone?”

       “Y/N. She should’ve come so far. She’s my client-”

       “Our client.” cut John.

       “Our client. I told her I would help. How ungrateful of someone to be late when I offer to get them away with their parents’ murder!”

       “ How did you convince her with this attitude?”

       “ A caring warm smile is enough to let her guard down when she hasn’t had a family for years. She grew up with trust issues, of course one day she will want to know how it feels to trust someone. And also she is the main suspect of a murder and the best detective offers their help. you would accept too.”

                                                      ***

        You took a second look at your flat. The blue walls were now covered with family photos that you have just printed out yesterday and rooms were much messier than you would leave. Those were just a part of your disguise. You took a few steps closer to the photos. There were you, your mom and father; happy, on different vocations you have been. You looked at your mother; happy, smiling, with you, alive.

      Than you looked at your father, whom you have photo-shopped into this beautiful memory last night. He was there when the photo was taken of course, it was a family vocation after all. He just didn’t like taking pics, at least that was what he said. 

      Now, years later after their death, you were getting sued again. For once again, you had to put on pictures on the wall. You had to make people believe you when you said you have always loved them. They had to believe you when you said it ripped you apart too. The facade you were putting on, it had to believable. They had to see you as a mess even tho it has been more than ten years. You shouldn’t get over their death if you’re innocent. You should be sad, unhealthy, a mess, you should be a walking soul to make them believe, you should wish to die with them. 

     Therefore, you had to leave pointless expectations aside to arrange the perfect scenario for the rest of your life. By perfect, I mean it. From the very start to your planned funeral, every single detail must be no different than a well-written book; and each pattern painted like an instance work of art. Variety of possibilities occurred against you, all calculated. 

The whole evening went like this. Probably the most boring day of John Watson’s life.

    From the beginning, you couldn’t avoid the Detective’s attention. So he was the first step. He wanted this, you thought. There was no reason to bring up an old case. If he was bored enough to get in your life, sure, you would love to play games!  

    Second step was your personality and attitude you will show people. You decided to be more normal, not so okay with murders type. You couldn’t let them know that you could kill people just by looking. You could also move objects. Uncontrollably. Including people. Shortly, you were still you but less homicidal, more ethical.

   But the biggest threat is much more dangerous. It is being discovered. Who knew what government would use you for, if they found out? Would they lock you up for your crimes? Or would they make a weapon out of you? To kill more, to hurt more... Maybe they would test you first? Are you stoical? Are you immortal? O, and what if they start to hunt for more people like you? You have never met another one, but what if they found more? 

All you knew was you could not afford to put your life in danger. You had no idea if you were immortal or not, which wasn’t a fact you wanted to learn soon. 

    To not to be the reason of the pain of the people you never knew, it had to be flawless and you had to be ready to sacrifice yourself.

   Step three: Freestyle. It would be a foolish idea to follow a solid plan. You had to be changeable and manipulative alongside the events. Making them love you, false suspect, blackmailing or a fake suicide... plenty of solutions with endless possibilities. You were the scenarist of this play and the ending was up to you.

    Never mind, it’s a nice afternoon and you have a detective to visit.

                                                         ***

      “ OH, Y/N! I didn’t expect you.” shouted Sherlock, making you want to smack the fake tone of his voice and the forced smile off his face. You didn’t of course, you faked too.

    “Oh, Sherlock, is it a new client?” asked Mrs Hudson behind him. (you had done your research.)

   “Sort of,”

   “Yeah, ‘course I’m not willing to pay.” You teased, passing the Huffing Sherlock; you shook hands with Mrs Hudson while he closed the door hiding a hint of a smile from you.

      You turned your head to the source of the sounds, John Watson typing on his laptop. The clicking enden as soon as you locked eyes with him. He got up with a confused, thoughtful impression and shook your hand. You couldn’t exactly read him, he carried too many emotions on his face at that moment. What could you say; impressed, shocked maybe? He found you suspicious and didn’t feel like hiding it.

     “John Watson.” he introduced himself and smiled. 

      You walked through the old walls and climbed up the squeaking stairs. You found yourself in a living room, a characteristic living room. Xanthic(a new word for me) sunlight revealed years of dust dancing in the air, a violin was waiting to be played, it was left on a greyish-green chair, right in front of an old fashioned single seat. You heard the boiling kettle whistling along with the clicking sounds.

     “Y/N L/N” you mirrored.

      Meanwhile Sherlock was in a rush of making tea while you two were showing of forces. “ Tea?” Sherlock asked. 

      “Come on sit!” He turned to you. You stood there, with them, trying to figure out where to sit. You just walked a small circle middle of the room, like a lost duckling. Sherlock sighed loudly while they were waiting for your decision. “You may sit here,” he showed you John’s chair.

      You sat, leaning to left arm of the chair, waiting for them to sit. Sherlock seated in front of you, putting the violin away. John wasn’t pleased that you had taken his seat, so he took a chair instead.  

     Sherlock looked at you and you looked at him; who was calculating you, his hands in prayer position. “So,” he started, “ you didn’t drink your tea,”

     “ Don’t you trust me?”

      “Don’t take it personal, I don’t drink anything with new people.”

       He smirked. “You’re late.”

        “For what? You didn’t give me a time.”

         “And yet, you found me.” 

         “You’re famous."

Silence.

Silence.

Stare.

Blink.

Enough.

"So what? "

"What what?"

"You invited me to talk-or inform and now all you do is to stare? I consider it rude." You threw him an over-dramatic challenging look, which he returned with the same energy.

"I thought you could show me some of your tricks?" He suggested.

You chuckled, "What tricks do I have?" You said, holding a murderous(?) expression.

"You lockpicking skills are quite.... neat?"

"Oh yes!"

"Wait what? "

"You broke into 221B last night. I must say-"

"No I didn't?"

The conversation was too much for poor John to handle. DID A POSSIBLE MURDERER CASUALLY BROKE INTO HIS FLAT LAST NIGHT? OH, DOES SHERLOCK APPROVE? FINE THEN.

No kidding, you should've seen his face. He was filled with such antipathy and rage towards this young women, she and her upsetting energy send shivers down to his spine. She was unsettling in a supernatural way; like a fever dream, a nightmare. And there she was sat in his seat, right in front of his beloved flatmate, and John still could not find a way to hate this y/n.

"Don't be ashamed, I just want to know how." Insisted Sherlock.

"No seriously, I can break into people's houses. But I was home last night."

"Who do you visit when you 'aren't home'?"

When you finally stepped into your flat, a new note welcomed you on your counter. Two words were written on the fancy paper:

"Next week?"

#sherlock x reader #fanfiction #bbc sherlock #john watson #reader insert #sherlock holmes #short chapter sorry #i have problems #Y/N #Sherlock x y/n #sherlock x you #sherlock fanfic

[hopecountyisforlovers]

rant under the cut dont read this if you like pokemon swsh or dont want spoilers. or do if you like to start fights i guess fsjdlfjsdkl

saw a few people say it wasnt so bad and this isnt like. coming after them or anything but sword and shield are just so so rushed that its like. more thought was put into the aftergame i.e raising a real competitive team to battle online than like the. real experience of it. the story is SO so linear that it leaves little room for exploration and theres not much to explore anyway. the gen3 games had more content than sword and shield. i played pokemon sapphire for YEARS after i finished it and never picked up swsh ONCE. and dont even get me started on the fucking mess that is the STORY like. oh my god. its so bad. its literally just the story of su/mo but with absolutely everything done completely wrong. leon and the few hot gym leaders are its absolute only saving grace. the game is PUSHOVER easy and thats coming from someone who cheats at hard pokemon games because i LOVE to be overleveled and feel overpowered and sexy and never lose. not once in swsh did i feel like i earned anything it more felt like it was all just being handed to me. the storyline with hop is depressing and honestly ? that problem pervades what little story there is. its depressing. i do not want to think about the ENERGY CRISIS in the middle of my POKEMON GAME i do not want to see a SAD DEAD CORSOLA what is WRONG with you gamefreak. and its depressing on a meta level because its the beginnings of something awful for a franchise ive loved my entire life, that has helped me get through some of the worst times ive ever lived through. it signifies Making Money becoming more important to them than making something thats actually Fun or Better than what theyve Already Made

and i know. i know its not the gamedevs fault they were put under massive strain and forced to work a ridiculous amount. dont come after me with “they did the best they could with the time they had” or some old bullshit like i KNOW that. but the problems with this game are SYSTEMIC

like i always think of that one scene. im pretty sure it was near the end of the game when theyre setting up rose as a villain where youre waiting for leon, a guy known for getting lost and being late, but because he doesnt show up on time hop gets worried for some reason?? and you find out from oleana or w/e that leon is talking to the chairman and its framed like hes ?? in danger ?? and you have to rescue him?? despite him being the undefeated champion of this region for at least ten years and you being Two Children?? so oleana tells you how to get to the place she clearly doesnt want you to be and you have to battle through all the guys and her to get to leon but once youre there he just. LEAVES WITH YOU of his own volition ?? he was literally never in any danger at all ?? so the only reason we did that was to set rose up for his villain reveal quite literally the VERY NEXT DAY ?? if this was a cartoon or a movie or anything else it would be ripped apart for being stupid and contrived and badly written because quite frankly it Is so why are so many people just OKAY with it it drives me absolutely insane. the game holds your hand to a quite frankly ridiculous degree. at no point can you walk more than about two steps without someone showing up to dump exposition on you and give you free revives you dont need because the game is Piss Easy and tell you EXACTLY where to go like these games that have been out since 1999 still thinks youre too stupid to already know how to play them which granted has kind of always been a thing but NEVER to this extent. a catching tutorial is one thing but this is completely and totally Another 

i just. man sword and shield bums me out. the first mainline pokemon games on what some would call a real console since the n64 and all they amount to is boring predictable garbage with half the content cut out and sold to you for 30 extra dollars after the fact. everything in swsh probably could have been done 15 years ago on the Original DS and i really hope they dont continue with this trend. i really want to be excited for a pokemon game again. i dont want to think that like. theyve already made the last good ones theyre ever gonna make.

in the meantime im gonna play fangames and hacks by people who have actually put love and care into what theyre doing

#text #idk this just kinda poured out of me #if youre gonna send me anon hate you have to sign it with ''i love to lick nintendo and gamefreaks boots slurp slurp''