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#stress tends to trigger my depression
theintrovertbean · 2 months
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Nadia and physical touch + a little guide to comforting her from someone who also tends to withdraw
Here I am again, analyzing my favorite fictional wife.
In Nadia's world, genuine physical affection is a luxury. She might occasionally feel the touch of servants as they get her ready for the day, as they brush and wash her hair, as they dress her, but that's pretty much the only way she experiences human touch. It is meaningless, there's no care or feeling behind it, it's just people doing their jobs. She's a princess and a countess, so touching her is a privilege, something that many wouldn't even dare to do. It is partly why being with her feels so exciting, but I'm not going to elaborate on that right now.
The lack of physcial touch in Nadia's life creates a sense of isolation, it makes her depressed, stressed, and as a result, she finds it harder to trust others. It certainly contributes to her habit of withdrawing to her contemplation tower and as someone who does the same (except I don't have a whole tower to retreat to,) I can confidently say that whenever something triggers this need for withdrawal, being touched or approached by others only makes things worse. It only creates resentment and it's hard to believe that they're being genuine, that they actually care. Nadia was also quick to say that MC would leave her when Nasmira arrived because her sister's presence caused her to relapse into her withdrawal girlie era.
But with MC, she eventually wants them to pull her back from her isolation. Yeah, MC get special treatment because they're literally the love of her life. She might still withdraw, but when it hits, she's gonna be all sulky and grumpy, while secretly hoping that MC would show up and listen to her vent out her frustrations.
When that happens, be rational, but still supportive with her. Let her talk. Offer her a hug, but don't put any pressure on her if she refuses. Just converse with her. Allow her to say what's on her mind and then tell her what you think. At times, her own thoughts might be irrational. Help her see that. Just be there for her. When she's done, offer to hug her again. This time, she'll likely accept or maybe she'll ask for it herself. She might get very affectionate after all of this is done. (If you want to know more about all of this withdrawal stuff, I'm open to questions.)
Still, physical affection is something she deeply years for. When someone is important to her, Nadia is going to touch them. Maybe she'll put a hand on their back or their arm, but she'll find a subtle way to signal that she cares.
It's also a huge sign that Nadia has a crush on someone. This woman was trying to touch MC since day 1 and she wasn't hiding her attraction at all.
She's been quite lonely her entire life. Holding MC in her arms is possibly the most comforting thing to Nadia.
And, as always, she's wife.
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black-lake · 1 month
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2nd house profection year
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it’s my 2nd house profection year and I’m noticing some changes in my life. < my 2nd house is in cancer for ref.
~༯ I’m eating more this year than ever tbh. like I started having comfort food!!! eating whatever I want whenever and not holding myself back as much, which is very unlike me btw. I have a virgo moon and I’m not just nitpicky but also strict with my diet, even tho I have a fast metabolism (aries stellium).
~༯ usually when I’m stressed I tend to starve myself or get over caffeinated but this year I’m leaning more towards eating for comfort < yes taurus core.
~༯ I started going to the gym again but I’d slack off and become uninterested and bored, then find it interesting again, but that could just be my gem rising.
~༯ It seems like life is more abundant. things come easier! there's less resistance. I’m able to slow down and smell the roses.. 𓇢𓆸  I even feel a bit too comfortable or stuck in my comfort zone. everything seems like it’s too much and I just want to enjoy life. ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖
~༯ I started buying flowers, planting flowers, decorating my house a lot more, got more perfumes, more beautiful things. currently as we speaking I have like 10 different types of flowers in my house. I started cooking more, I even made up recipes that my family liked and started making them regularly.
~༯ I’m taking care of my skin, my body, and overall health. I'm investing more in skincare and health supplements. though sometimes I overdue it, like get fixated on one thing or another.
~༯ I'm someone that used to have high energy, I'd pull an all nighter or just wake up at 3am scroll non stop or put music on, it wasn’t energy it was ⋆˙⟡ anxiety ⟡⋆˙ , but I'm having more quality sleep this year! I'm in bed by 10 and maybe I just got older, but there's that.
~༯ giving my hair a well deserved break!! I used do dye my hair very often, this year I got a short haircut and I’m growing my natural hair back, I’ve only added a few subtle highlights and I don’t style it as often. I'm embracing more simplicity with my style, though could be that my ass got lazy 𐙚(ᵕ̤ᴗᵕ̤)
~༯ I'm planing more, working on my skills and hobbies, but not rushing or forcing things and not setting high expectations either. I don't feel like there's a rush like before. my values are changing significantly, I know what I like and don’t like and what I can put up with.
~༯ don't get too comfortable and not do anything about moving forward bcz you will be tempted to. remember to still challenge yourself!
~༯ I’m having a relatively comfortable year it got me having flashbacks of my 12th house profection year which was a fckin nightmare. It was all about the subconscious, mental health struggles, depression and overcoming these things. It really was about coming up with personified methods that help me deal with these internal conflict so I can move forward. It also was the year I became more spiritual.
~༯ my 1st house profection year wasn’t good either for me personally, it was super challenging and chaotic. it had me doing things outside my comfort zone. e.g. throwing myself in the ocean (i'm afraid of drowning). my individuality was constantly tested, my determination, my willingness to put myself first and not compromise my own needs and values.
~༯ there were instances where I felt like I'm compromising for the sake of keeping a friendship, which wasn’t reciprocated. I learned to not be afraid to walk away from ppl and places that don’t respect or value me. my cut off game wasn't particularly bad before, but I felt blinded, manipulated and pressured that year, I had to fully trust myself and only rely on myself. very much aries themes. 
~༯ If you're going thRU it with your 12th or 1st house profection, know that it will teach you valuable lessons that lead you to know yourself and love yourself more. you will understand your triggers, your strengths, know who your enemies and true friends are. it gets better! this feels like the perfect year to take a break from all the past challenges that I went through, I'm able to slow down, enjoy life and reflect until I see where the next tides takes me. 
stay blessed, much luv <333
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tatsumessy · 1 year
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3:27 am - {Nagi Seishiro}
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nagi tossed around in bed stretching his arms out trying to reach for your body so that he could pull you closer but to his surprise you weren’t there. he sat up and rubbed his eyes then started looking around the room trying to see if he could see your silhouette anywhere in the room. getting out the bed he dragged himself all throughout your apartment trying to find you but even after ten minutes he failed horribly.
“babeeee?” he called out hoping that this was some sick game of marco polo and that when he’d call for you, you’d answer. nope he was wrong again, no answer. he walked back into the living room noticing from a distance that the bathroom door was open and he knew something was off because you never left any doors open at night. once he got closer to the bathroom he could hear faint sobs coming from in the dark, he turned on the light and there you were. huddled on the floor cradling your knees to your chest, “babe? was calling you, didn’t you hear me?” he said scratching his neck waiting for your response but all he got was a small choked sob from you.
“y/n? what’s wrong?” he bent down rubbing the top of your head while trying to figure out the best way to comfort you. a few moments passed and you refused to move from that spot in the bathroom so nagi did what he thought was smart and situated himself behind you. his legs were on either side of your body and he wrapped his arms around your waist forcing your back to press against his chest. “talk t’me babe.” he whispered caressing your shaking arms, “i’m tired…” his movements halted hearing your croaky voice finally speak after ten minutes of him sitting here and suffering from hearing your cries. “I don’t understand..?” your hand gripped his arm slightly as you leaned your head into him.
“are you stressed? have I been making you feel more tired lately? is it your head? are you tired of your mind? are you feeling anxious? depressed? scared?” all of nagi’s questions had your mind racing a million miles a minute, “all of the above.” you responded hiccuping in between words trying to calm yourself down. “but it’s mostly my thoughts, when I don’t have something to distract me I tend to get in my head about a lot of things…” “like what?” nagi started moving pieces of your hair out of your face and peppering soothing kisses on your hair line. “us. my insecurities about our relationship.”
“did I do anything to trigger this?” he asked asking multiple questions in his head and quickly replaying yesterday in his mind to make sure he didn’t do anything to hurt you. “n-no you didn’t. I just don’t understand why I’m like this…why I always have these moments where I break down and cry and just doubt everything good in my life.” nagi sat there holding you and listening to you rant about how you’d been feeling, he knew what he was getting into when he proposed to you. he knew that you had some demons that you needed to fight and when you were ready he was here for you. it just hurts to see how much pain you’re in and he’s not able to help you.
“nothings wrong with you. everyone has doubts in their life, you don’t think I did when I asked you to marry me? I was scared shitless thinking you were going to say no because I’m a lazy soccer player who sits around the apartment all day playing video games like a kid. but I still did it, I overcame my fear because no matter what, I knew I had you. and that you love me for all of my faults and you’ve never judged me for it.” his hand pulled your chin up towards him so that he could get a good look at your face, tears were still rolling down your face but you looked like you calmed down a bit.
“angel, I’m not going to say you’re perfect but you are right in all the right ways. I love you.” “I-I love you sei.” you responded, “and if you ever start to feel like this again, wake me up. I don’t want you suffering by yourself anymore.” you nodded your head yes and cuddled yourself against his warmth, the two of you actually fell asleep on the bathroom floor and woke up with aching bones.
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carolina-star · 2 years
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Finally I have draw the moment where Anakin and Padmé meet.
Now some lore, information, I'm not sure of the term.
Warnings before anything; warning 1, I'm going to destroy the English language, and I'm so sorry for that. Really. Waring 2, I don't have any medical studies, so I could (and probably will) be wrong about this, and I'm going to apologize in advance. Please feel free to correct me. I don't want to offend anybody with my ignorance, never has been my intention. Waring 3, this contain heavy themes that may be hard for some people, please read with precautions.
And now, let's begin:
In this AU (and probably in the Canon too) Anakin has borderline personality disorder (BPD) which is linked to other things like anxiety and depression or PTSD. BPD is a mental illness that severely impacts a person’s ability to regulate their emotions, which mean that they may experience intense mood swings and also tend to view things in extremes. Like they can love some person to the moon and back in the morning and one hour later hate that person with all their bowels. They also may act impulsively or recklessly. Usually BPD is diagnosed in late adolescence or early adulthood and sometimes the professionals will struggle to find the diagnosis, they usually will go through discharge other mental illnesses.
So, coming back to the storyline, Shmi is engaged or about to married with Cliegg Lars, which trigger Anakin unknown BPD. This lead to a very dangerous and erratic behavior, which his love one and himself. He try to destroy his relationship at the same time that he clings desperately to them and start to do Impulsive and very dangerous behaviors. He's spinning out of control and Shmi and Obi-Wan are heartbroken because the don't know what's is happening or how help Anakin. All this stuff lead Anakin to a self harming behavior and a really stressful, delicate and agony time for everyone.
During this time is when Anakin is diagnosed with BPD. He has been struggling with this new knowledge but is starting to accept it. He's also trying to forgive himself for his last behaviors because he didn't want to hurt his mom or Obi-Wan, he really said bad words to them and he didn't want to said anything of that at all. So he's starting to accept the help for doctor Bant Eerin, Anakin is taking treatment and therapy. But everything is recent.
So where are in this delicate and fragile point where Anakin has been diagnosed and Shmi and Obi-Wan are sick of worry every time they don't know where Anakin is. That's the reason why Obi-Wan is at the edge of a nervous collapse, and the reason why they both looked so scruffy. So after pick up Anakin and Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan will explain everything to Qui-Gon, because he doesn't know anything yet about Anakin diagnosis.
In a brilliant note, because all this post is heavy, Anakin will do great in the future. And it's going to be really funny when Padmé discovered that she's in love with a 19 years old boy and have a panic attack. While Obi-Wan is relatively happy thinking that Anakin has falling in love with a girl a couple of years older that him, I mean, what are 3 or 4 years more? It's going to be funny when they discover it too. Anakin by the way don't care about the age difference, Padmé is the love of his life and point.
Modern AU Masterlist
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thelostgirl21 · 2 months
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OMFG! This came across my dash, and given that Jaskier is, like, the most ADHD coded character I've had the pleasure of watching on screen since Jake Peralta, first thing that came to mind was...
"But what if having sex actually is one of the ways that Jaskier has instinctively found to self-medicate, though?"
What if he tends to be able to think more clearly, feel calmer, and be a bit less restless and impulsive after sex?
What if, sometimes, for example, he tends to start a bunch of different new songs at the same time, while struggling with finishing them, and thus feels driven to have sex with someone to help himself focus and complete them?
People with ADHD actually do tend to gravitate towards hypersexuality and hyposexuality (it's not considered an official symptom of ADHD per say, more a co-occurence... Like, I think that among men seeking treatment for hypersexuality issues and problematic porn consumption, they discovered 67% of them had ADHD or something...), and Jaskier's very high sex drive - while not necessarily considered a disorder in itself - is still enough to put him into some serious trouble at times and generate drama in his interpersonal relationships.
I mean, I don't want to call him sexually hyperfixated, but his very first impulse - after the world around him froze and a copy of himself appeared before him - was trying to assess the fuckability of the situation and if he might be into having sex with himself even before asking if he was still alive!
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At the very least, it definitely seems that sex might be a coping strategy that he uses to relieve feelings of stress and anxiety.
We've already seen Jaskier go:
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to cope with his emotions.
But he just might have this very instinctive:
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coping response as well!
In a sense, maybe the way he reacted to Seanchai looking at him was a manifestation of that.
Anxiety going through the roof = Jaskier going:
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Poor bard is just going through his life, facing impossible odds, and regularly going:
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to manage the crazy levels of stress he's constantly being subjected to.
People think he's being promiscuous because he is irresponsible and immature or something, when the poor bard is just instinctively doing whatever he can to manage his blood pressure, and avoid dying young of some stress-related condition.
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Of course, the desired therapeutic effect might be a little offset by the fact that a bunch of nobles tend to want to kill him for having had sex with their spouses and/or relatives... Guess he'll just need to go find someone to sleep with to deal with that stress then... Wait.
Jaskier to Geralt: "I think we should go to Redania... Ciri would have an entire army at her back, and I'd have a really sexy Prince at mine providing me with a steady dopamine, endorphin and oxytocin supply. Seriously Geralt, I'm only human, and if this keeps going, at this rate I won't live past 50!"
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Radovid to his brother: "Look, I'm really shit at being a spymaster and a Prince, but years of being very bored and very gay at court have helped me develop a unique type of expertise. And now, I've just discovered there's this one thing - or rather person - that I can do, and do really well! And he's going through some apocalyptic-level stressful shit right now. So, you've got to let me go help him, alright?"
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It also would make sense that Jaskier would be so driven to have sex with people, regardless of sexual attraction, if sexual activity happens to be a coping mechanism for him, that can both act as a psychostimulant, and/or as something to help him relieve anxiety, stress, and even the occasional depressive feelings.
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In that case, it can also turn into a sort of cycle that becomes self-sustaining, i.e. :
People make him feel shame over his regular need for sex and "promiscuity" - - > it triggers his RSD and emotional insecurities over never being good enough for those he loves, or "too different" - - > he instinctively seeks sex to take his mind off those negative and painful feelings, feel wanted, connected to others, receive praise rather than harsh criticism, and flood his system with stress relieving and "feel good" hormones - - > people make him feel shame over his regular need for sex and "promiscuity" - - > it triggers...
And then, there's Radovid that never reacted negatively to the fact that Vespula was angry at Jaskier over the many, many different people he'd been sleeping with, openly called Geralt "his Witcher", wanted to help him find and rescue the rest of his family...
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He's not putting any pressure on Jaskier to stop loving other people or being intimate with them to also be loved and wanted by him.
There are so many ways that Prince/King can help our poor bard manage and relieve his anxiety, including not making him feel wrong or inadequate for having such a need for sex in the first place...
Ironically, the way Radovid's brain works apparently "turns Jaskier on"... but Radovid turning him on - while also making him fell like he is enough - might also help "turn Jaskier off" (as in, help him modulate his overall need for sex in general) if there's less of a need for him to turn to sex to cope with the way his own brain works, and the distress it might occasionally cause him.
As an ex-nurse clinician, it is thus my professional opinion that someone should really officially prescribe some Radovid to Jaskier, to be taken PRN - p.o., as a spoon, intrarectal or however he needs him - and as often as he personally needs him.
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It's not a want, it's a need. Someone needs to deliver some Radovid back to him ASAP.
Okay, and now I imagine Geralt just showing up with Jaskier at some point in Tretogor after Yennefer portals them both there, knocking on the castle door, and basically going:
Geralt: Yes, hi. Sorry to bother you. Things have been exceedingly stressful lately, and I have a bard that's been insisting on going back to see an ex-lover...
Jaskier: I'm telling you, it's fine!
Geralt: ...that's threatened to have him beheaded if she ever saw him on her lands again...
Jaskier: I'm sure she didn't mean it!
Geralt: ...and this idiot is willing to risk death...
Jaskier: She's actually really sweet once you get to know her!
Geralt: ...in the hopes that she'll agree to sleep with him.
Jaskier: I'm not even sure if she offered to cut off my head or give me head if she ever saw me again! You know how easy it is to confuse the two...
Geralt: No. No Jaskier, I do not.
Castle Guard: Ah... Yes, so um... what do you need us to do about -
Radovid: *Showing up out of breath, in a robe, with his crown hanging a bit sideways, after he took off running as fast as he could when he caught sight of Geralt and Jaskier approaching the castle from his private chambers' window.* Yeah... Hi... It's okay... *to the guards* I've ... I've... got this...
Jaskier: *Blushes and whines, leaning heavily against Geralt to avoid sliding to the floor at the sight.*
Radovid: *Concerned, to Geralt.* What happened? Is he okay? *Reaches out to Jaskier to hold him in his arms and help support him, looking for any sign of injuries.* Are you hurt?
Geralt: If you could just keep him with you and have sex with him for a few days, I'm sure he'll be perfectly fine!
Radovid: *Dumbstruck* You want me to do what now?
Jaskier: *Starting to kiss and nimble on Radovid's collarbone, insistently pressing himself against him.* Me. Do me. Now.
Radovid: Ah, alright, but we'll need to use the barracks. I'm not running all the way back upstairs!
Geralt: Don't think you'd even manage to make it to the first floor anyway.
Castle Guard: Ah, so, should we... give the order to empty the barracks your Majesty?
Jaskier: *Beginning to slide his hands under his robes.* They could stay and watch, or join in...
Radovid: I'm... not sure if that's the kind of support I'm entitled to expect or ask from the Redanian army, but if some of them want to stay, I guess... Why not?
Jaskier: *Briefly pulling back to look at him, realising he's not put off by, or disapproving of his behavior.* I love you.
Radovid: *Beams back at him.* I love you, too. Marry me?
Geralt: Boy, that escalated quickly!
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Platonic A/B/O
So, one of my first posts on this blog was my own take on the a/b/o / omegaverse au. However, after revisiting it, I really want to re-write it and fix it up a bit. Obviously, I still want to focus less on the whole romantic/sexual part of it and more on the pack dynamics it offers!
Second Gender / Group Dynamic
A second gender or group dynamic refers to whether a person is an Alpha, Beta, Omega, or Pup.
Alpha - The leader or second-in-command of a pack
Alphas typically have strong leadership qualities and are always doing the best to take care of their packmates. Some alphas are known to be a tad bit aggressive, but they're more commonly known for being caring and understanding. They are protective and will do what they can to attend to the needs of their pack or keep them safe.
Beta - The mediator of a pack
Betas are typically sympathetic, understanding which makes them great mediators. They are usually the ones ensuring their packmates are properly taking care of themselves whether that be by taking time to relax and unwind or distracting them with something fun. Even Betas that aren't known for being great mediators do well with keeping their packs together.
Omega - The caretaker or protector of a pack
Omegas are typically fierce and loyal or shy and anxious. Most omegas are very territorial and secretive and will only open up to their packmates or those they feel they can trust. Past their anxious or angry exterior, they're typically loving and kind. But on top of that, they will defend their pack with their lives and care for them just as fiercely.
Pup - The children of a pack
Pups are neutral and show no signs of their second gender/group dynamic until they reach the age of ten. Throughout their childhood, a pup will fluctuate between their second gender/group dynamic as they try to figure themselves out and find their place in the world. The second gender/group dynamic will settle into place when they turn eighteen, although in some cases it is known to happen earlier then that depending on the pups maturity or due to trauma.
Heats, Ruts, and Beta Flu
Heats, Ruts, and Beta flu are first experienced when a pup turns eighteen and will continue to be experienced by them up until old age. These events usually only last once a week every month and is just a way to ensure alphas, betas, and omegas get to rest and spend time with their packmates.
Heats - Experienced by omegas
During this time, omegas will become extremely anxious, frustrated, and touch-starved. They will lash out at anyone they don't feel comfortable with and hide away in a safe, secure place where they can make a nest. An omega will become sick and feverish if they remain without a packmate for long as their anxiety will trigger a stress response leading to this intriguing phenomena. Something about being close to a packmate keeps an omega calm and happy as they express trust in being cared for by their pack.
Ruts - Experienced by alphas
During this time, alphas will become clingy, stressed and aggressive. Only packmates are safe enough to be around an alpha when they're in a rut. They will make a nest in a place they feel safe and remain there for the remainder of their rut. They will become sick and depressed if they don't have their packmates around and this is sometimes known to lead to lasting affects on an alpha even after their rut. A rut is a time for an alpha to be surrounded by their packmates as it helps them feel comforted, appreciated and loved.
Beta Flu - Experienced by betas
During this time, betas become exhausted, sluggish, and pained. They will immediately throw together a nest to rest in and typically sleep through most of the week. They're aches and pains from the sickness they're experiencing tend to go away when they're packmates are there with them. This is a time where a beta just rests and trusts that their packmates will take care of them for the week.
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spiritboxxhoe · 10 months
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General Tips for people with EDs
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Water :
We absolutely must drink water to survive, and it has zero calories, so there's no excuse to not drink it. As we typically get much of our water content through foods, when we reduce food intake we begin to dehydrate ourselves, which is dangerous. Also, cold water chills the body and may raise metabolism to get warm again.
Reasons to drink water:
It lubricates the joints
It forms saliva and mucus
If delivers oxygen throughout your entire body
It boosts skin health and beauty
It cushions the brain, spinal cord, and other sensitive tissue
It regulates body temperature
Your digestive system depends on it
It flushes body waste
It maintains your blood pressure
Your airways need it
Prevents kidney damage
Weight loss
Finally, it reduces the chance of a hungover
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Vitamins and Minerals:
We must have these, too, to survive and so again there is no excuse to not take at least a basic daily multivitamin (which may help reduce some cravings as well). Vitamins are vital in keeping our bodies functioning and our skin / hair / teeth nice. Particularly be aware of electrolytes (potassium, magnesium, salt, along with water balance) and calcium.
Reasons to take to help with weightloss....
Vitamin C: it has been proven that people with low vitamin C status tend to burn less fat when exercising
Vitamin B12: Faster metabolism
Omega 3: Increases fat breakdown, decreases muscle inflammation, large amounts are usually taken by big time athletes
Ashwagandha: Increases muscle mass which results in a faster metabolism, improves sleeping patterns(Lack of sleep = High blood sugar = weight gain)
Vitamin B2: Helps your body break down fats, carbs, and proteins
Fenugreek: it’s an herb that works as an appetite supressant, just be careful with it and do research
Vitamin D: Helps with hairloss, dry skin, and depression
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Protein:
Protein is necessary, particularly if you're exercising. It maintains and repairs our muscles, including heart muscle, which is (last I heard) kind of a requisite for continued survival.
Reduces appetite and hunger levels
Increases muscle mass and strength
Good for your bones
Reduces cravings and late night binging
Boosts metabolism and increases fat burning
Lowers blood pressure
Helps maintain weight loss
Helps your body repair itself after injury
Helps you stay fit as you age
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Fat Intake:
Fat has, per gram, more calories than any other source of energy and is stored more easily. Switch to low fat everything, then progress to nonfat. Nonfat food tends to taste like crap (in my opinion) and you may end up eating less because of that.
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Caffeine:
While caffeine can be an appetite suppressant and can increase your metabolism, it will also act as a diuretic. Drink a glass of water for each cup of tea, coffee, or diet soda you have. Again, dehydration is a potentially serious problem.
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Tips:
Always read labels to avoid nasty surprises. This happens to me all the time and makes for some panicky stress-moments. Also, look up food charts and be aware of the caloric / nutritional content of everything you eat.
Understand yourself. Learn what you need, and when, and why. Everyone is unique and there are no hard-and-fast universally applicable laws. Our bodies are very good at telling us what we need, and knowing what you need gives control over how you choose to satisfy those needs.
Find your binge triggers, be they food or places or people or feelings. Avoid them at all costs. Figure out more acceptable ways of dealing with those triggers than stuffing yourself silly.
Learn when you tend to eat and why you eat then in particular. Plan to be doing something unrelated to food at those times. Many of us find night to be the hardest time to avoid food.
Get plenty of sleep. Steal naps whenever you can and rest when you need to rest. Sleep deprivation increases appetite and makes you age faster.
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The end! Thank you for reading <3
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myhealthtoday · 1 month
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The Impact of Psychological Health on Weight Loss Diet Success
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تأثير الصحة النفسية على نجاح النظام الغذائي لإنقاص الوزن
وإليك نظرة عامة:
Understanding the Connection Between Psychological Health and Weight Loss
The Role of Stress and Emotional Well-being in Dieting Success
Overcoming Psychological Barriers to Sustainable Weight Loss
Mindful Eating and Its Impact on Psychological Health and Weight Loss
The Influence of Self-esteem and Body Image on Diet Success
The Power of Positive Thinking in Achieving Weight Loss Goals
Addressing Emotional Eating and Stress-induced Food Cravings
Coping Strategies for Dealing with Emotional Challenges During Weight Loss Journey
Seeking Professional Help: The Importance of Mental Health Support in Weight Management
Incorporating Mind-Body Practices for Holistic Wellness and Successful Weight Loss
Understanding the Connection Between Psychological Health and Weight Loss
I believe that psychological health plays a crucial role in the success of weight loss diets. Here are some key points to consider:
Emotional Eating: Emotional well-being can impact eating habits. Stress, anxiety, or depression can lead to emotional eating, where food is used as a coping mechanism.
Motivation and Discipline: A positive mindset and strong mental health are vital for staying motivated and disciplined throughout a weight loss journey.
Self-image: How we perceive ourselves can affect our weight loss efforts. Positive self-image is linked to better adherence to healthy habits.
Stress Management: Effective stress management techniques can prevent emotional eating and promote healthier choices.
Support System: Surrounding yourself with a supportive network can enhance psychological well-being and increase weight loss success.
Understanding and addressing the connection between psychological health and weight loss is essential for achieving sustainable results.
The Role of Stress and Emotional Well-being in Dieting Success
I believe that managing stress is crucial for successful weight loss. When we are stressed, our bodies release cortisol, a hormone that can lead to weight gain, especially around the midsection. Stress can also trigger emotional eating, causing us to reach for comfort foods high in sugar and fat.
To improve emotional well-being while dieting, I suggest practicing mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. These activities can help reduce stress levels and prevent emotional eating episodes. Additionally, seeking support from a counselor or therapist can be beneficial in addressing underlying emotional issues that may contribute to unhealthy eating habits.
Overall, taking care of our emotional health is just as important as monitoring our food intake when it comes to achieving successful weight loss.
Overcoming Psychological Barriers to Sustainable Weight Loss
I believe that addressing psychological barriers is crucial for achieving long-term success in weight loss. To overcome these barriers, I focus on the following strategies:
Identifying Triggers: I pinpoint situations or emotions that lead to unhealthy eating habits.
Building Resilience: I work on developing coping mechanisms to deal with stress or negative emotions without turning to food.
Setting Realistic Goals: I set achievable targets to prevent feelings of failure that may hinder progress.
Practicing Mindfulness: I cultivate mindfulness to foster better awareness of my eating behaviors and emotions.
By actively working on these aspects, I can overcome psychological barriers and maintain sustainable weight loss successfully.
Mindful Eating and Its Impact on Psychological Health and Weight Loss
I have found that practicing mindful eating can have a significant impact on both psychological health and weight loss. When I am more mindful of my eating habits, I tend to regulate my emotions better and reduce stress levels. This, in turn, helps me make healthier food choices and control my portions. By focusing on the present moment and being aware of my hunger cues, I can prevent overeating and mindless snacking.
Incorporating mindfulness into my eating routine has also improved my relationship with food and my body. I no longer view certain foods as "good" or "bad," and instead, I savor each bite and appreciate the nourishment it provides. This shift in mindset has led to a more sustainable approach to weight loss, as I am more likely to stick to a balanced and nutritious diet.
The Influence of Self-esteem and Body Image on Diet Success
I firmly believe that self-esteem and body image play a significant role in the success of a weight loss diet. When individuals have high self-esteem and a positive body image, they are more likely to stick to their diet plan and make healthier choices. On the contrary, those with low self-esteem may struggle with motivation and may give in to unhealthy eating habits more easily. Improving self-esteem and body image through positive affirmations, self-care practices, and seeking support from loved ones can boost long-term diet success. It is crucial to address these psychological factors alongside dietary changes for sustainable weight loss.
The Power of Positive Thinking in Achieving Weight Loss Goals
I believe that adopting a positive mindset is crucial when it comes to achieving weight loss goals.
Positive thinking can help me stay motivated and focused on my journey to a healthier lifestyle.
Reminding myself of my progress and celebrating small victories can reinforce positive thinking.
Visualizing my end goal and believing in my ability to reach it can significantly impact my weight loss success.
Surrounding myself with supportive and encouraging people can also contribute to maintaining a positive outlook throughout my weight loss journey.
Addressing Emotional Eating and Stress-induced Food Cravings
I need to recognize triggers that lead to emotional eating and stress-induced food cravings. These triggers can include emotions like sadness, loneliness, or anxiety. By identifying these triggers, I can develop healthier coping mechanisms to deal with emotions instead of turning to food. Engaging in stress-reducing activities such as meditation, exercise, or deep breathing can be helpful in managing stress levels and reducing the urge to overeat. It's essential to build a support system to discuss emotions and stressors, preventing them from manifesting in unhealthy eating habits.
Coping Strategies for Dealing with Emotional Challenges During Weight Loss Journey
I have compiled some coping strategies that have helped me navigate emotional challenges during my weight loss journey:
Seek Support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, or a therapist to lean on when times get tough.
Practice Self-Care: Take time for yourself by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as meditation, reading, or taking a bath.
Set Realistic Goals: Break down your weight loss goals into smaller, achievable targets to prevent feeling overwhelmed.
Mindful Eating: Practice being present while eating to better recognize hunger and fullness cues, helping you avoid emotional eating triggers.
Celebrate Non-Scale Victories: Recognize and celebrate accomplishments beyond just the number on the scale, such as increased energy levels or improved mood.
Remember, it's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being alongside your physical health throughout your weight loss journey.
Seeking Professional Help: The Importance of Mental Health Support in Weight Management
I believe that seeking professional help is crucial when it comes to weight management and achieving long-term success. Here are some reasons why mental health support plays a significant role in this process:
Personalized Guidance: Working with a mental health professional can provide personalized guidance tailored to your individual needs and challenges.
Behavioral Changes: Addressing underlying psychological issues can help in making sustainable behavioral changes that support weight loss efforts.
Emotional Support: Dealing with weight-related issues can be emotionally challenging, and having a professional to talk to can provide much-needed emotional support.
Identifying Triggers: Mental health professionals can assist in identifying emotional triggers that may lead to overeating or unhealthy food choices.
Incorporating mental health support into your weight management journey can make a significant difference in your overall success.
Incorporating Mind-Body Practices for Holistic Wellness and Successful Weight Loss
I believe that integrating mind-body practices into your weight loss journey can lead to holistic wellness and improved success. Here are some effective strategies to consider:
Mindful Eating: Paying attention to hunger cues and savoring each bite can help prevent overeating and promote healthier food choices.
Yoga and Meditation: These practices can reduce stress levels, improve self-awareness, and enhance mindfulness, leading to better decision-making around food.
Breathing Exercises: Deep breathing can calm the mind, reduce stress, and improve focus, which can support adherence to a weight loss plan.
Positive Affirmations: Using affirmations can boost self-esteem and motivation, helping you stay committed to your weight loss goals.
By incorporating these mind-body practices, you can foster a healthy mindset and overall well-being while achieving successful weight loss.
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flock-talk · 8 months
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i think I may have already sent an ask about this before but I honestly can’t remember. My bird doesn’t seem to want to play or forage, just preen & be scritched. I just started a new job and am gone for a big chunk of the day and I’m worried about boredom/over preening due to boredom. How can I/what can I do to get my bird interested in playing or foraging at least for something to do while I’m at work?
You did send it, sorry it’s taken me a while to get back it just requires a bit more energy to answer this one than I’ve had as of late.
Birds can refuse to play for a variety of reasons: stress, not knowing how, lack of motivation, lack of UV, feeling unsafe when they’re alone, toy type, the list goes on.
One thing to keep in mind is that natural parrot behaviour tends to have them active first thing in the morning, largely resting and roosting during the day, then active again near sunset. So it’s not totally unusual for them to be less active during typical work/ school hours. Most healthy and stable birds will just use that time to nap, small bits of play, and preening.
First thing to assess when encouraging play would be toy variety and toy comfort. Are these toys different in texture, material, colour, size, do they do different things and offer different experiences. When they aren’t playing I first experiment with different toy types to see if they happen to be drawn towards a particular style of toy or a particular style of play (shredding, noise making, foraging, thrashing). Along with that we observe their behaviour around the toys: are they comfortable with them? Do they appear stressed or weary around them? Do they avoid them? As well as checking these same elements under parrot safe UV light. Since parrots see the UV spectrum it’s common for them to present depressive behaviours and be less interested in play as nothing seems as vibrant and interesting as it’s supposed to when the UV spectrum is lacking.
If all of that has been checked and there’s no interest being shown there’s two main strategies to take from here: modelling and classical conditioning.
With modelling you would play with the toy yourself and praise them for any interest in it. Gradually showing them that each toy is fun, showing them how it works and demonstrating how to play. Parrots are social learners in many cases and can pick up on new behaviours by observing others. Watching you have fun and play while enticing them to do so can elicit the play behaviours from them more naturally.
Classical conditioning is usually a much more lengthy process and is far more finicky. Classical conditioning is when you have a response that is triggered by a certain stimulus, you pair stimulus 1 with stimulus 2 so that the new stimulus will now trigger the response you were getting from stimulus 1. This is Pavlov’s dogs drooling to the bell: drooling is the response, food is stimulus 1 and the bell was stimulus 2 which was paired with the food enough where drooling would now happen at the presentation of the bell. You’ll do the exact same thing for toys and treats. You can offer a treat whenever they interact with a toy (starting at just a glance and working up to actual chewing) to shape a play behaviour, and from there every time they play a treat will follow. Over time the excitement and anticipation they feel when they eat a treat can begin to be elicited by the play itself. Eventually causing a self reinforcing behaviour since play now brings the happy exciting feelings on its own.
Foraging is an easy way to also ensure that behaviour remains reinforced. Making the prizes easy to find at first and gradually having less treats involved and harder to find. The excitement and thrill of locating the hidden treat can further drive and motivate the play to continue.
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kanona56 · 11 months
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Do you have any headcanons for Philip or any of the other killers/survivors?
Oh goodness, I have loads. I could go on and on really, but for this ask I'll stick with Philip. Let me know if you'd like to know about some others. ^^
I hc Philip as ethnically Igbo, which is one of the larger tribes of Nigeria and are mostly found in the southeast areas of the country. There's lots of evidence in his lore that points to this being the case, and I've made a Tumblr post about it before detailing how I came to this hc!
Adding onto my first hc, Philip's tome lore hints that he not only was there during the war, but was also a survivor of the Anti-Igbo progrom of 1966, in which a massacre was committed against the Igbo people, presumably from soldiers of the opposing Hausa-Fulani people and/or those native to Northern Nigeria who aligned with the growing hatred of the Igbo people during that time. I therefore like to hc that Philip is also a genocide survior.
His adoptive mother, Funanya, was born Igbo but married Hausa. When war broke out and she lost her husband, she tried to flee to the south with her children when she found Philip. Because it was extremely dangerous for an orphaned Igbo boy to be in the north where the war and killings took place, she taught him everything she could about the Hausa culture, including their muslim-based religion, language, and traditions. It's because of her that Philip was able to survive by pretending to be Hausa.
I'm sure I've made it obvious enough, but Philip has some severe and untreated C-PTSD. C, because his trauma spans over years of his life and cannot be considered one singular event. His symptoms tend to manifest as psychogenic tremors, prone to panic attacks, dissociation, heightened anxiety and vivid nightmares. Daytime flashbacks are rare for him, but if stressed out enough and exposed to a major trigger, they can and will happen to him as well. The smell of blood, the sound of gunfire and fire are his three biggest and most prevalent triggers.
Philip developed alcoholism as an unhealthy coping mechanism. He's an extremely emotional and depressed drunk, the kind of person who's pretty much the opposite of the fun party drinker. He's prone to very quickly losing control of his own emotions and crying instead. Drinking is the only way he knows how to knock himself out enough to avoid vivid, PTSD driven nightmares of Nigeria.
On a way less depressing note, Philip is lactose intolerant! But he'll 100% sacrifice his tummy every now and then for a good bowl of ice cream.
Philip is left-handed, but learned very early on to not use his left hand when interacting with others because it is considered rude and taboo in Nigerian culture (and generally in many other African cultures). His parents understood that his brain is just wired differently so they never forced or trained him into right-handedness, but they both kinda taught him early on to be mindful to use his right hand in public for things other than throwing or writing.
I hc Philip as a demisexual (possibly biromantic as well, but that's not something he's ever bothered to explore). He's the kind of person who definitely strikes me as ace, not ever having a sexual interest because he's such a lonely person and is just not immediately attracted to anyone at all. However, Philip is also a deeply emotional man and relies on them a lot, so it's only when he's developed a bond with someone that he'll start to develop that physical attraction. He quite literally NEEDS that emotional/romantic connection in order to be able to engage in sex, let alone enjoy it. Casual stuff is a total no for him. He tried it only one or two times as a troubled teenager and quickly found that he did NOT enjoy the experience. He just can't do it.
Philip's love language is both touch and undivided attention. He's the kind of person who is deeply devoted to his partner and, once he feels safe and secure in the relationship, will give you his whole heart. He's kind of terrible at speaking because he's such an introverted person, so he expresses his love through physical touch as well as almost always paying attention to his partner and their needs.
In terms of intimacy, Philip as an ace person isn't really all that excited about sex. He'll still definitely enjoy it with his special person, and he'll most definitely initiate it every now and then because he does find his partner physically attractive since he's deeply emotionally connected to them, but to him sex is a bonding experience and less of something to do just for fun. He's extremely romantic in bed - eye contact, kisses, little praises, holding hands, slower pace, you name it. His entire focus will be to please his partner and not himself. He doesn't need or care much about reaching climax, he'll be perfectly fulfilled with the experience knowing his partner feels good and is satisfied.
Since he'd moved to the US, Philip is a bit insecure of his accent because it really makes him stand out. Over time he's managed to tone it down significantly, but it's still there and still very noticeable, just perhaps easier to understand. When he'd first moved, he had a hyperfixation on touching up his English and sounding as well spoken as possible in hopes it would minimize his chances of being picked on as a black immigrant in the country. This was the 1970s, after all.
I'm sure this also goes without saying lol, but Philip is way more attractive than he gives himself credit for. Yes, half his face has been burned, but he'd been lucky enough to put himself out when it happened fairly quickly, so the damage didn't get too far deep into his skin. The burn scars haven't really disfigured his handsome features all that much, just changed the texture and color of his skin. Still, he often feels ugly because of how he looks.
Because Philip had nearly starved to death as a child in Nigeria a number of times, he kinda has an obsession with being as physically healthy as he can be. He runs a lot and does a decent amount of exercise to keep himself lean and in shape, because it feels good having a sense of control over his own body. He never EVER wants to feel malnourished again in his life.
Philip is a very tall man, like 6 feet and some inches and fairly broad in the shoulders. Despite his size, he's developed a natural talent for being extremely silent and light on his feet. When he wants to, Philip can move as quietly as a mouse and is pretty agile on top of that. It's a useful trait to have in the realm (in the context of OIN at least)- you'd think a big guy like him is an easy target to chase, but Philip has the impressive capacity to be deceivingly stealthy and hard to track.
Math (unsurprisingly) is his favorite subject, and Philip is also highly intelligent in this regard. He's a very quick analytical thinker and can do complex math problems in his head fairly well. It comes in handy with his job in Autohaven, to be able to make quick calculations and measurement conversions.
I definitely have more hcs but these are some of the big ones that I can articulate off the top of my head. Thanks for asking!
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lady-of-endless · 1 month
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It's me and I am so excited for KNY Matchup! I'm an adult, She/lady, Taurus, Demisexual.
165cm, I'm chubby, but that's purely because of my medication. I have shoulder-length light brown hair and my prettiest quality are my green eyes with dark rings called limbal rings around my iris.
I have depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and Asperger's Syndrome, so I'm pretty weird or I have weird habits. I'm a kind polite person and all I want to do is to please, help, and make people happy. I love receiving praise for a job well done and being spoiled. My dream is to be loving Housewife like Okusan and always be there for my loved ones.
I love slice-of-life series (Okusan) and writing, but I write out of reverence.
I'm a very sweet easy-going person, but I can stress and worry easily. I have a habit of apologizing for nearly everything, be it an apology or just me being polite. I tend to blame myself for many things that don't necessarily have anything to do with me.
I absolutely hate yelling, shouting, and arguments, they make me so upset and anxious, I try my best to prevent them. If the bad situation continues I may lose control over my feelings and take it out on myself in the form of pain. I don't want to worry or bother anyone.
I'm naughty, but I do have a small fear of touching due to a trauma, like hand-holding, hugging, and worst, kissing and such, but if I show affection first then I might be okay.
Thank you THOUSANDS TIMES, I hope this isn't too much info!
- Demon Slayer Matchup Trade -
Author's Note: Thank you again for the matchups you did for me, I'm still blown away by how amazing those were. I hope mine will make you smile at least for a moment! Have a lovely day! Hope you'll like it!
I match you with...Kyojuro Rengoku
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(lovely gif is not mine, please show appreciation to the OP)
- He will be drawn to you because of your kindness and softness at first. It triggers something in him that makes him want to protect you. In time, along with that protectiveness, a wish to keep you happy is added.
- Thinks that your will to help and please others is such an admirable strength. Out of all, he understands the most the power of a smile and a kind heart in this dark world.
- However, he starts wondering one day if the joy you give to others is ever reciprocated. Kyojuro will blurt out "But who makes you happy?" You'll notice a genuine frown on his face when he asks you this. You're always careful with others but who is careful with your needs?
- Kyojuro praises you all the time and he does it so naturally. Not because he knows you're worthy of praise but also because he noticed how much you enjoy it. He also wishes to set your confidence ablaze!
- He's going to be fascinated by those limbal rings you have, especially when the sun illuminates your irises. Don't get startled when he comes closer to you without saying a word, only to look at your eyes. If you stare back at his eyes, you'll always see admiration in them.
- Kyojuro won't mind your habits, he's curious about them. As much as he'd like to ask you about them, he won't, not wanting to be more intrusive than he already is sometimes. He just can't help himself, wanting to learn more about you.
- He cherishes you and the way you ground him. He can get a bit reckless so your care for him makes him take a step back and think a bit. His wake-up call was one time, he gets severely injured because of him rushing into a tough fight with a demon. When he woke up and saw you next to his bed, all worried, and crying, he promised to be careful next time, for you. From that point on, his motivation when going into battle is to always come back to you.
- Everyone knows he's loud, himself included, but his favorite moments with you will surprisingly be those silent ones. When you both lay down on a tatami, your head on his chest, the sun caressing your face, hair, eyes. The warm light makes you look like a deity of the sun and he can't take his eyes off you. There aren't many things that leave him speechless but the feeling of having you close and the image of the sun shining on your features are enough to have him silent.
- The only time when you won't see Kyojuro smiling is when someone tries to wrong you or yell at you. You'll feel his presence behind you immediately. His eyes are burning holes into the one in front of you and a hand resting on the handle of his katana. That's enough to scare anyone away. No one will ever hurt you.
- One time, his haori got torn in a battle but it was a small rip he didn't notice. But you did, so while he was training and not wearing his haori, you took it and started sewing it. When he looked for it, he found you sitting on the floor, humming to yourself as you were fixing his haori. This will melt his heart. He instantly thought "I'll make her my wife one day."
- If the relationship moved fast because there wasn't a second in which he kept his feelings for you inside or even neglected them, him opening up about his past and family will take so much longer. Have patience with him.
- Once you flinched a bit the first time he wanted to caress your cheek, he understood why right away. It broke his heart. Kyojuro wants to ask about it. If you decide to tell him, he'll have to suppress and hide the fact that he's devastated. He will be patient with you, careful.
- However, when you get more comfortable with him and even more playful, he's so excited. Watch him blush, get flustered so badly, at your playfulness, not expecting it. You're going to turn him into a mess.
- Training dates would be a thing from time to time. He is very good with positive reinforcement so you will enjoy those. He will also enjoy the way you push yourself and get a little sweaty. He might have to look away and take a little deep breath because you look so damn good when you're determined.
- He's going to present you to his younger brother after he told you about his family. Kyojuro would be so happy to see you two interact. Two of the most precious people getting along.
- It will be a challenge if you wish to keep the new relationship secret from the the other hashiras. He has a burning desire to show you off because he's so proud of meeting someone like you and being able to have you as his partner! Plus, your clothes will always smell like fire and the others will know why.
- The other hashiras will always have to listen to him boasting about how amazing and lovely you are. Some will be exasperated, some will be happy for him to find happiness.
Runner-up would be: Genya (aged up, of course) because he'd get similar feelings to Kyojuro, being attracted by the same characteristics you possess. However, he would be way more shy about it. He too would fall just as hard but unlike the flame hashira, Genya will bottle everything up and overthink it.
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angelwheat · 2 years
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Call of Duty Zombies; masterlist
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*note: some links within my masterlists tend to mess up and direct to the wrong post. i apologise in advance if you are directed to a potentially triggering post. do message me so that i can correct any links!
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- Entire Crew
1.0;Tall S/O
1.0 & 2.0; S/O Is Hurt
2.0; Shy S/O
1.0 & 2.0; S/O Is Upset
1.0; Sex {NSFW*}
1.0; S/O Is Depressed {TW*}
2.0; S/O Is Depressed {TW*}
1.0; Insecure S/O
1.0; Badass S/O
1.0 & 2.0; Plus-Size S/O
1.0 & 2.0; Sensitive S/O
1.0 & 2.0; First Meeting (Romantic Interest)
2.0; Suicidal S/O {TW*}
1.0 & 2.0; Celebrating Halloween
2.0; Youthful S/O
1.0; Youthful S/O
2.0; Irish S/O
1.0; Making Christmas Cookies
2.0; How You Sleep Together {suggestive*}
2.0; Marriage Proposals
2.0; Least Favourite Foods
1.0 & 2.0; Things They Do Subconsciously
1.0; Muscular S/O
1.0: S/O That Smokes
2.0; Sex {NSFW*}
1.0 & 2.0; Short S/O
1.0 & 2.0; S/O With Social Anxiety
1.0 & 2.0; S/O With Kids From A Past Relationship
2.0; Muscular S/O
2.0; Southern Belle S/O
2.0; Pregnant S/O
2.0; S/O Kissing Them When They're Panicked
2.0; Insecure S/O
1.0; Showing That They Care
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- "Tank" Dempsey
1.0 "Tank" Dempsey; bullied and self-conscious S/O
2.0 "Tank" Dempsey X Reader (One-Shot)
1.0 "Tank" Dempsey; His Life Before The Apocalypse
2.0 "Tank" Dempsey X Reader (One-Shot) #2
1.0 "Tank" Dempsey; Realising He Has A Crush (Hcs)
2.0 "Tank" Dempsey; Sex (Hcs) {NSFW*}
1.0 & 2.0, "Tank" Dempsey; Domestic Activities With His S/O
1.0 & 2.0, "Tank" Dempsey; Trying To Win Over Fem!French Reader
1.0 & 2.0, "Tank" Dempsey; His Crush Has An Overprotective Older Brother
2.0, "Tank" Dempsey; Random Headcanon
2.0, "Tank" Dempsey; Discovering A Love Letter From His S/O {imagine}
1.0 & 2.0, "Tank" Dempsey; Teaching His S/O How To Shoot a Gun
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- Edward Richtofen
1.0, Richtofen; Suicidal S/O (Imagine) {TW*}
1.0 & 2.0, Richtofen; S/O On A Sugar Rush
1.0, Richtofen; S/O Interested In His Past
2.0; Edward Richtofen X Reader (One-Shot)
2.0; Edward Richtofen & S/O; Comforting Each Other On Their Insecurities
1.0 & 2.0 Edward Richtofen; Affection
2.0; Edward Richtofen; Autumn Season With His S/O
2.0, Edward Richtofen; Comforting His S/O
2.0, Edward Richtofen; S/O Surpisingly Making Out With Him {suggestive*}
1.0 & 2.0; Fem. French S/O
2.0, Edward Richtofen; Random Headcanons
2.0, Edward Richtofen; Discovers Your Journal
2.0, Edward Richtofen X Reader (One-Shot)
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- Nikolai Belinski
2.0; Nikolai's Wife Headcanons
2.0, Nikolai Belinski; When You're Stressed
2.0, Nikolai Belinski; Random Headcanon #1
1.0 & 2.0, Nikolai Belinski; Fem!Asian S/O
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- Takeo Masaki
2.0, Takeo; Anxious S/O (Imagine)
2.0, Takeo; Jealousy (Imagine)
2.0, Takeo Masaki; Random Headcanon
1.0 & 2.0, Takeo Masaki; S/O Giving Them Provocative Hints
1.0, Takeo Masaki & S/O; Post-Apocalypse Nightmares
2.0, Takeo; Anxious S/O (Imagine)
2.0, Takeo; Jealousy (Imagine)
2.0, Takeo Masaki; Random Headcanon
1.0 & 2.0, Takeo Masaki; S/O Giving Them Provocative Hints
1.0, Takeo Masaki & S/O; Post-Apocalypse Nightmares
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- Misc.
2.0 Richtofen, 2.0 Nikolai, 1.0 Dempsey; S/O Comforting Them
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doodle-pops · 2 years
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Elves' General Headcanons on Having a S/O with DID
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Request: I'm torn between how the elves would react to a s/o with DID or the opinions on male x male relationships. - Anon
A/N: This is a very interesting question here anon. Now, I've stated that writing/addressing topics like mental illness makes me very wary because I do not want to insult someone through misinterpretations. I tried my best to not go into full on descriptions to get anything wrong.
Please do not engage in the act of faking mental illness for 'aesthetic' purposes. If you happen to be suffering symptoms of a certain illness, seek professional help, don't self-diagnosis. There are people out there with real mental illnesses and it's heartbreaking to them to see their condition be treated as a trend.
My sincerest apologies if I got something wrong.
Warnings: mentions of the words abuse, trauma, depression, and mental illnesses. If topics on mental illnesses make you uncomfortable, then do not engage with this post. You are responsible for your own media consumption.
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⇴ In today's world DID is still a very big mysterious mental illness that has similar symptoms to other illnesses which makes it difficult to identify.
⇴ You, their s/o who is very much aware of your condition would baffle a lot of them when you explain your illness.
⇴ Many will be shocked to learn about you being mentally ill. I think mental illness at their time wasn't given names or identified like the way we do now, so you would have to explain your symptoms.
⇴ Informing them that your condition was a rare case and it is uncommon among your folks would leave them worried.
⇴ Your lover would question you on all that you knew about your illness so they can provide as much assistance as possible and avoid worsening it.
⇴ Is there something that triggers it? Is there a way to reduce panic attacks and anxiety?
⇴ They would assist you with all that they can to ease the worry and stress, and if you're in the process of healing, they would be at your side step by step.
⇴ One common form of obtaining this condition is trauma or abuse from a young age. This is perhaps the most terrifying thing you could inform them of.
⇴ Their biggest thoughts would be on who was the cause of your abuse or trauma.
⇴ This would also further clarify their confusion as to why you appear depressed or moody from time to time.
⇴ The most common symptom of DID is the presence of two or more personalities/alters.
⇴ Alerting them of you having more than one alter within your mind would both fascinate them and confuse them, so a further explanation would be needed.
⇴ To calm them down, you do your best to reassure them, that as long as you are away from stressful or any traumatizing situations, they shouldn't have to worry about the switch.
⇴ If the switch does happen, it could be abrupt. One minute they were talking to you and the next minute, your other alter stepped in.
⇴ This happens when you're feeling anxious or depressed or sometimes the mentions of abusive topics, your alter would switch to help act as a coping mechanism.
⇴ The part that gets them the most is when the switch happens, they haven't the slightest clue because it could be so calmly. It's only until you started appearing confused mid conversation that they'll realize a switch happened.
⇴ Elves tend to love a lot stronger than us due to the fact that they connect with the fëa rather than the hroä.
⇴ So, your respective elven lover will stand by your side and learn all about your other alters and how to identify them should an appearance be made.
⇴ They would learn to love all the other alters that you have because to them, they are a part of you and they love all of you.
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Masterlist
Taglist: @spidergirla5 @givemaedhrosahug @eunoiaastralwings
If anyone wants to be tagged, click the link or request in the asks.
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blackforrestpunk · 3 months
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Hi friends. I'm currently editing the fan fiction parallel to the comic. I'm currently trying to concentrate on the english language. It annoys the hell out of me. My school english is terribly rusty, and as a teenager I didn't gave a shit about grammar. And to procrastinate a bit and to give a sign of life from me again, I'm going to babble a bit here. !!!!! Attention spoiler!!!!!! I'm reviewing almost the entire Fanfic here. But I've been asked a few times. You still have the option to cancel here. :-) Okay so, the main diagnoses are AuDHD, PTSD, Social Anxiety and Depression (which occasionally triggers an eating disorder)
However, I have to say explicitly about the eating disorder that it is linked to his feelings and also has a certain AuDHD component. Sometimes it happens that you simply forget to eat because other things seem more important to your brain. And sometimes you're so stressed or depressed that you can't eat. He would really like to, because he actually likes to eat. If it's food that he can eat. Taste and consistency are sometimes not so easy to manage here. That's why Nadir always gets the same dishes from the same snack bar. Per se, Erik doesn't know exactly what he has. As mentioned in the fanfic, he is often told his diagnosis. But he keeps forgetting because he doesn't really care. All he knows is that he doesn't fit in.
In the comic, for example, it also becomes clear that he sometimes has problems being touched and sometimes not. This is also due to the experiences he had as a child. His first caregiver often rejected him. So he finds it difficult to accept Valerie's friendly nature at first. By contrast, he has almost completely blocked out his stepfather. As a result, he follows Gustave without saying a word, but also allows himself to be touched because he unconsciously allows himself to be subjugated.
Erik and Raoul have a strange relationship. First Erik keeps forgetting Raoul's name because it's not important enough, then they tease each other and Erik doesn't really get it. He has no idea what this rivalry is all about, he just reacts to it. Then they beat each other up and make up. He doesn't like him, but that's more because Raoul is a kind of interference field. The connection between Erik and Christine is broken every time Raoul appears on the radar. However, Erik can't categorize this either and only reacts to it. Erik's specialty is music. He is particularly fond of stringed instruments. This is not just a hyper-fixation, it is his absolute specialty. He communicates through music. Music is his language for expressing emotions. Here in particular, I tried to link the emotions via the music lyrics or in the Spotify playlist. Sometimes it's very obvious, like in Chapter 13 - where he covers Everlong by the Foo Fighters. Then it's more subtle, when he just plays and the sounds adapt to his mood. In chapter 15, he talks to Christine about Raoul and how long he's staying away, where he strikes a low chord. He tries to ask it casually, but the situation actually worries him.
Erik's talent for languages and the pronunciation thing. Erik learns languages out of sheer boredom. He started with Farsi because he's a nosy little fucker whom Nadir likes to eavesdrop on. He only learned Swedish to impress Christine. He googled her surname. He had learned Italian for Jago, though Jago came from a Spanish family. Well, with ADHD you tend to mix up languages... Erik's pronunciation is usually very clear. He tries to speak clearly and loudly, due in part as a result of the mask. Also with the fact that music is his real language. As a teenager, he went to a speech therapist for years to overcome his stuttering and lisp. He is missing a tooth, which leaves plenty of room for slurred sibilant sounds. But he has learned to compensate it. If he is not emotionally balanced, the old habits still come out.
Erik is left-handed. I couldn't find anything in the books (Leroux and Kay), or I missed it. Well, my Erik is left-handed. Originally, at the very beginning of this story, his hands were supposed to be a testament to the abuse as well. Fingernails were missing, they were taped, and a fingertip was missing. This symbol became Erik's left-handedness, a short little finger and his skinpicking-coping mechanism (which I purposely didn't discuss in detail so as not to trigger myself :'D Fun fact: There were phases in my life when my hands looked like his...). However, he is "both" handed. He learned to use many instruments like a right-handed, because of the little finger problem. Kurt Cobain was left-handed, he has the guitar on the other side, for example. But not Erik. But his handwriting, as in the original, is just awful. He simply didn't learn it properly and was confused in elementary school about which hand to use.
My Erik is bisexual. But how can that be if he's never had a relationship apart from Christine nodnodnod Well, he's not making a big deal out of it. But he had a crush on a young punk from his "clique" in his teens. No, not Azzi and not Jago. Of course, nothing came of it because he was even more socially maladjusted back then, than in Christine's day. Nevertheless, he feels attracted to both sexes.
Erik and friendships. Oh, boy, that's such a thing. At some point in therapy, the therapist nails him down to the fact that he is very much "capable of relationships" because he obviously has friends of several years' standing. Sometimes we forget that. That we are capable, even if there is perhaps one constant person left among all the arguments and conflicts. And maybe it's also the case that we say "Nope, I don't have any friends" out of self-protection, simply to make it easier to cope with a possible loss. The concept of friendship is a mystery to Erik. He doesn't understand that he and Jago have been friends for a long time. It's clear to Jago, and to Nadir as well. In the late chapters, Jago also makes an appearance. The reason that Erik doesn't reject him is that Jago accepts the boy directly for who he is. He lets him be who he is. He doesn't force him. Through the subculture - punk - he gives him a place outside his room where he is accepted.
Speaking of Nadir. Why is a trained care worker sometimes so incredibly stupid, with Erik? Because he's only human. Nadir loves Erik as if he were his son. But at the same time, he sees the bias, the difficulty of communication and the constant lack of connection. This frustrates him. It disappoints him. He feels almost constantly helpless. But he has chosen Erik. This decision binds him for life. Nadir knows exactly what motivates Erik. But he always wants to challenge him. To take him one step further. To show him some normality - which begs the question, what is normal? He wants to show him what's going on in society. To prepare him step by step. Sometimes in a clumsy way. But he doesn't mean any harm. And Erik knows that too.
Erik and his mother. Oh boy, I'm still gnawing on that a bit, my brain is still spinning little stories about both of them. I didn't let her take up so much space on purpose, but I still wrote an entire chapter to her. His mother was damn young when this contraceptive accident with Charles (Erik's father) happened. One thing leads to another, Charles dies, she is alone. She comes from a dysfunctional family herself. She grieves during the pregnancy and after the birth. She loves her son. Don't get me wrong. She really loved him. But it still wasn't enough. What she did wasn't right. It wasn't enough. She didn't respond to his needs or his desire for attachment and security. She locked him away and didn't validate his emotions (which he couldn't categorize either). Because she couldn't. Because she was so busy with herself and her small, sad world. This insecure-ambivalent attachment still triggers massive problems and anxiety in Erik today. And sometimes her hand slipped. Due to excessive demands. Which is still no excuse. Never.
Erik and his stepfather. Ahhhh I'd like to leave that out. I was thinking about creating a kind of comeback. How the stepfather starts stalking Erik after his release and kidnaps Reza and crazy shit like that. But nope. That's too much for me. His stepfather was a violent asshole. An alcoholic and a narcissist. Unemployed. He often beat Erik up when he had a meltdown, or didn't do his homework, or had to go home early from school, or just because he breathed too loudly. His stepfather gave him the missing little finger, the burn scars, the missing nose and the silver stripes on his back. I dislike this person so much that he has neither a name nor a face. And it stays that way.
Erik, the night owl. At the beginning of the story, you keep reading that he sleeps a lot, that he goes to bed early and that he can get up early (to buy Christine's present). He's just pretending. He can indeed sleep anywhere. Whether on the couch, a mattress or the floor. But he doesn't sleep for long. In bad phases, he hardly sleeps at all. In good phases, he sometimes manages 3 hours at a time. He may appear calm on the outside, but on the inside he is restless and under constant pressure. Disordered thoughts, the urge to create and the fear of nightmares keeps him awake. And yes, the nightmare I described is the tip of the iceberg. Erik dreams a lot and is always restless. He only experiences a state similar to sleep paralysis during bad triggers or depressive phases.
Finally: Sasha. Sasha is a Shepard-Spaniel mix. She is not a therapy dog. But she is Erik's anchor. She is smart, eager to learn and affectionate. There was also a Sasha in Kay's book. Erik learned to walk with the dog there and was able to experience affection through her. Sasha, in my story, keeps Erik in this world. She is his constant. His connection to the outside world. She supports him when he's not feeling well. She is always by his side. He even takes her with him to the hospital. He smuggles her everywhere he goes. Even if it sometimes seems as if Erik is annoyed by her when she jumps up at Christine or doesn't want to get on the streetcar or goes crazy with big dogs. He loves her to death. He would do anything for her.
Thanks for reading. :-D The text was longer than expected... Any questions?
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7ndipity · 4 months
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Hiiii! Happy new year love! 💞 I hope your shipping game isn't over. So let me introduce myself. 🫶🏻
Sun - taurus
Moon - Pisces
Rising - Sagittarius
I tend to be very introverted, however if I meet someone who's also very introverted, I kind of take the lead and become very extroverted, especially in situations where someone has to take action about a certain thing.
I like to think I'm open-minded, trying to understand everyone's perspective no matter what. I only respect and appreciate people who respect me too!
I overthink a lot and I get pretty self-conscious about myself. Im also very stubborn. I wouldn't say I'm very ambitious considering that I get demoralized easily and I need someone to support me especially emotionally. As much as I try to keep calm, I lose my temper very easily, but I'll quickly get over it if I get a few minutes to spend alone and really process the situation. I get overwhelmed a lot and I'm in constant stress. I have severe trust and abandonment issues.
English is not my first language and I'm a polyglot. I speak my mother language (I don't want to say what language it is), English, French, German, mandarin, Italian, basic Latin (I had to learn it in school 😔) and I'm currently learning Korean. My major at uni is history and I'm living in the balkans. (Maybe the last part wasn't necessary 💀)
I love history and foreign languages and cultures, I also love writing, drawing, fashion and reading!
Since I was 14, I do many fashion sketches.
My love languages (that I like to give to my s/o) is drawing them, physical affection and words of affirmation.
I also would love to receive praise and physical affection but if my s/o isn't okay with that then it's alright. I can live without it as I've been doing until now.
I like to read non-fiction, history, thriller and fiction literature and you can ask me anything about history and I will tell everything you like I'm some voice narrator on a documentary 😭
I watch mostly just documentaries and thriller dramas.
So as I've said at first, I'm introverted, but if I'm comfortable I quickly am very loud and social, however my social battery dies fast so I will at some point become suddenly silent. I also have adhd and anxiety. I used to suffer from depression since I was a little kid. I've got plenty trauma 😊 and I'm very scared of the dark and insects, like spiders for example.
I don't like dancing and singing, mainly because I'm bad at those 💀 and I also don't like painting.
Usually I'm the therapist friend and I never share anything about my personal life to my friends, I keep my problems to myself.
I love cats and skincare and I listen to music constantly ever since I was a baby.
I'm not very fond of petnames that couples use. However if someone calls me "love" or "darling" I will simply die
I can get quite possessive and jealous, but I don't usually show that to my partner or do anything about it at all. Mostly because I know it's a toxic trait so I keep it to myself as I don't want to potentially hurt or make my s/o feel bad.
I'm very loyal and loving. When people yell, don't let me speak or interrupt me while I'm speaking I get either very pissed or i simply just cry 🫠 I can get very triggered when someone yells at me
When I'm hurt, affected or upset about something that someone did to me, I will isolate myself and not tell them what's wrong until it's too late.
I dont like people telling me what to do.
I'm sorry if this was very chaotic written and not organized at all, I just wrote whatever came to my mind about myself (watch me forget to mention some important details about myself 🤦🏻‍♀️) but yeah, basically this is me. 🫶🏻
I would ship you with Yoongi and Hobi!
You and Yoongi have super similar personalities imo, so I feel like you would understand each other really well! Like even the way you described sounding like a docu narrator reminded me of how Army joke that Yoongi’s a walking encyclopedia on so many topics!😭(also Pisces are really great matches for earth signs like Taurus)
Yoongi and Hobi both have very supportive, reassuring energies, and tend to be the therapist friends as well, so I think they would be good at helping you open up and making you feel safe. I also feel like they would lowkey be a bit protective over you.🥺
I also kinda feel that you and Hobi would be a pretty good match! You have several similarities, and he also has this ability of bringing out the best in people and making them feel really comfortable, so I feel like he would be your ultimate hype man!😊
Hope this was okay💜
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Anonymous asked:  What role does humor play in your life? How do you look at comedy and its role in culture? Do you think comedy today is more or less funny as woke culture has its itchy trigger finger at the ready to cancel anyone that mocks it? Is it harder for edgy comedians like Dave Chappelle to remain relevant in today’s toxic society? 
Your questions are quite wide and so I hope I can hone in on some of the issues you raised.
I don’t think I’m different from anyone in general in not only loving comedy but also having humour in one’s life. I’ve watched my fair share of comedian stand up sets at comedy clubs and shows (Eddie Izzard, Andy Parsons, Ross Noble, Jack Dee, Stewart Lee, Frankie Boyle and so on).
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I try to start my day by watching or reading something funny like an online clip or an article, essay or chapter (think Clive James or Anthony Lane or P.G. Wodehouse) - just to set the tone for the rest of the day. Because let’s face it, one look on the home page of any news media from the BBC or the Economist makes for depressing shitty reading.
Put another way, I’m like the girl who gets up one fine morning and wears a brand new white pair of shoes at school. You just know those white shoes are going to get battered around. They’ll get all kinds muddy shoe prints stomped on it and likely chewing gum and dog poo under it. But least you started the day clean. That’s how I feel about humour in my daily life.
I’m fortunate that I have a close circle of friends who make me laugh and that is precious. We text and send each other stuff throughout the working day. It’s light relief for a stressful day at work.
I try not watch comedy on a plane on my lap top. I think the air stewardess in my business class flight always think I need a sedative because I usually get a severe case of the giggles. I try so hard not to laugh out loud out of respect to the sleeping passengers near me. I just can’t help myself. I wet my knickers laughing so hard.
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My perspective on and indeed my insatiable need for comedy in my life can best be summed up by that 18th Century man of letters, Horace Walpole who wrote, “The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”
For me the best comedy is hilarious and humane but equally brutal and true. Like many people I grew in a home where humour was the life blood of our family especially around the dinner table and just generally goofing off. The jokes to point out our foibles or pratfalls acted like glue to bind us together more strongly. As times goes on and as one matures you also learn to lean into humour as a personal coping mechanism when dark clouds gather above. But it’s also a mark of maturity that you also become self aware of humour as a commentary on things that lie just beneath the thin skin of society.
Humour has been on the minds of thinkers for centuries. My eldest sister who is a neurosurgeon and is interested in humour as a side topic of interest gave me a book on the psychology of humour as a birthday gift. As Peter McGraw and Joel Warner explain in their insightful book, The Humor Code: A global search for what makes things funny, “Plato and Aristotle contemplated the meaning of comedy while laying the foundations of Western philosophy… Charles Darwin looked for the seeds of laughter in the joyful cries of tickled chimpanzees. Sigmund Freud sought the underlying motivations behind jokes in the nooks and crannies of our unconscious.” A good read.
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We tend to see comedy through the romantic lens of the one-off inspired comic whose unique view of the world is entertaining. But the focus on the individual witty voice misses the gigantic, political nature of the task of comedy. Comedy isn’t just a bit of fun. We don’t laugh at things unless they cause us very serious problems at other points in life. We can see this in the standard category of jokes: about relationships, family, sex, money, impotence, bowel movements, identity etc. We laugh most readily around things that in other ways are very distressing. A good joke invariably has a relationship with darkness, anxiety and pain.
I’ve always valued humour in people as a precious gift. I love having a laugh and even more if it’s at my expense. Perhaps that comes more readily to the British who appreciate the existential absurdity of life and don’t particularly make an effort to climb out of the hole they fell into…and if they do then we bring them down a peg or two.
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But Northern Europeans have an even drier sense of humour, yes, including the Germans (it’s there…somewhere) but in the Swiss it’s totally absent. Norwegians have perhaps the driest sense of humour in Europe and that partly stems from the fact of its social code of janteloven - the idea that you mustn’t think of yourself better than anyone else. Because of this I firmly believe humour should be an equal opportunity offender. Moreover what I love about enjoying a good joke is that one the singular properties of certain comedy when done well is the freedom to explore ideas in an unconventional or counterintuitive way, to subvert society’s norms.
No one does that better than a comedian in culture in flux. As the great George Carlin put it, “I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.“
I’ve always been naturally drawn to dark humour from an early age and I suspect that had a lot to do with being packed off to boarding school at a young age (for my peers it was as young as 7) and just learning to develop coping mechanisms in the face of parental abandonment (or it seemed that way).
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However I didn’t know the real importance of dark humour until I actually served in the British army and found humour as a form of therapy to deal with stress and situations of life and death with my army brothers and sisters. Our shared jokes were so off colour and un-PC that we would dare not repeat them in polite and respectable company. But that kind of shared humour served a crucial importance as any soldier will tell you. By mocking dangerous things or the situations you might find yourself with others, humour can embolden us. It helpfully paints what is potentially very frightening as deeply ridiculous. Joseph Heller’s ‘Catch-22’ captures the spirit of the absurdity of it all.
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The comic perspective fills a central need of every society; it enables us to cope much better with our own follies and disappointments, our troubles around work and love and our difficulties enduring ourselves. Comedy is waiting to be reframed as a central tool behind the creation of a better world.
Comedy offers us a way of having a better time around things which, otherwise, can feel pretty disastrous. Ideally, in the utopia, comedy and its therapeutic potential wouldn’t be left to chance. Humour would be deliberately cultivated as a benign response to a range of entrenched difficulties. Previously, certain countries had an elaborate carnival season devoted to enforced comic activities. For a brief time, the weak could boss around the powerful, priests and nuns were supposed to hold obscene rituals in their churches, serious people were required to get drunk and throw bags of flour over each other’s heads. Humour wasn’t just left to those who felt so inclined: it was a kind of duty.
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Black humour was a means of reducing anxiety of the awareness of death. Historians now know that one of the things that helped the persecuted Jewish community survive the demented Nazi persecution creeping into full blown genocide was humour, often of the darkest kind.
An example well-known joke went like this in Warsaw: "Moishe, why are you using soap with so much fragrance?" - "When they turn me into soap, at least I will smell good”. Jokes about soap were in response to rumours which started circulating in 1942 about soap produced from the fat of the Jews. Other jokes of this kind: "See you again on the same shelf!" or "Don't eat much: the Germans will have less soap!"
Indeed Jewish humour did not die in the Holocaust. In fact, Jews depended on humour to endure the period after liberation, both as a psychological weapon to grapple with what they had endured under Nazi persecution and as a source of coping with the displacement of the postwar period. After the war, humour was a poignant affirmation of mir zaynen do - we are (still) here - a declaration that the Jewish people had not disappeared and indeed could at times have the last laugh.
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Does comedy have something to teach us or can we use comedy to teach? That is an interesting question in itself.
When I discuss this with friends across the political and non-political spectrum, some have argued comedy can’t be didactic as its the ultimate contradiction in terms. It’s why they hate woke comedy that often pervades the BBC these days and even the comedy clubs. These friends and I would sometimes go to the Edinburgh Festival to see comedians live on stage. But they say none of what passes for comedy on stage is funny because of the politics of woke.
I would disagree. Not about woke comedy - which ranges from pedestrian to just awful. But I will say that some of the best comedy is didactic. That’s because the best comedy is about revealing hilarious truths.
The ancient biblical books of Jonah and Esther, for example, have comedic elements that are clearly didactic. William Shakespeare’s ‘Much Ado about Nothing’ is didactic. The Marx Brothers’ ‘Duck Soup’ and ‘A Night at the Opera’ are didactic. Mel Brook’s ‘The Producers’ (original only) and ‘Blazing Saddles’ are didactic.
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For us Brits, Monty Python is didactic, especially in its masterpiece, ‘Life of Brian.’ For Americans, ‘Seinfeld’ is didactic precisely because it’s about nothing. From ‘The Great Dictator’ to ‘Dr. Strangelove’ and ‘Blackadder series’ to ’South Park’, you will find that great comedy can be didactic.
The problem my friends identified is not that woke comedy is didactic, but rather that the woke side of the moon has no light of knowledge to impart. Woke ‘comedy’ tries to be didactic and fails because it has nothing profound or interesting to teach.
Comedy is not merely an event that produces laughter. A fart is not comedy (although it could be). The difference between comedy and tragedy is tonal. Both stem from the inflexibility of the ego.
This is why for example Shakespeare’s ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ is such a remarkable comedy. The two people who want to be viewed as most principled in their objection to romance are so easily pushed over into love, because their hearts are ultimately farcical. The hilarity stems from the disconnect between their inner and outer selves.
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While the ridiculous disconnect between the ego and reality makes us laugh here, it could just as easily make us weep if the situation were changed. The fundamental difference between Shakespeare’s comedies and his tragedies is the ending. Everyone gets married at the end of his comedies and everyone dies at the end of his tragedies. Yet Hamlet and Macbeth are still felled by their own inflexible egos, just as Benedict and Beatrice are made to be wonderful, humorous fools for love by the same principle of human nature.
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Comedy’s didactic nature is even clearer when we look to films like ‘Duck Soup’ or ‘Blazing Saddles.’ ‘Duck Soup’ is a scathing indictment of goose stepping fascism (of the real kind and not the lazy insults lobbed over these days) and arguably the Marx Brothers’ funniest film. ‘Blazing Saddles’ does the same for American racism. Neither is necessarily meant to be interpreted along propositional or pedagogic lines. Regardless, those films teach and they teach well. They expose the absurdities of reliance upon authoritarian government and identity politics to solve our problems.
The problem with woke comedy is that woke comics want to convince people to do the right thing, to hold the right view, in other words to moralise if we want to be considered good people - which we all do. But the politics behind woke politics is fundamentally ridiculous. That’s why it can be so easily used for comedy: their core concepts and assumptions (gender and biology in trans ideology or the darker you are on the colour spectrum, the greater your societal victimhood) are easy to mock.
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In ‘Life of Brian,’ the Pythons did not mock Jesus. They mocked institutionalised religion. When Jesus appears, it’s in the background, he only speaks scripture, and his portrayal is markedly respectful. Nothing else in the film is respectful - everything else is treated like a huge hilarity. John Cleese said the reason they didn’t try to make Jesus funny is that they didn’t think he would have been funny.
According to John Cleese, Jesus didn’t have an ego to bruise or be inflexible. Yet Jesus was a complete and humble person. If he slipped on a banana peel and fell, he would have found it just as funny as anyone else. That’s because Jesus was self-forgetful. You can’t mock someone who gets the joke. So you can’t turn Jesus into a joke, because he’s not threatened by jokes.
One of the most enduring theories of humour arrived courtesy of the philosopher Thomas Hobbes. It asserts that humour is ostensibly about mocking the weak and exerting superiority. While this is clearly the function of some comedy – anyone who has flinched at a comic’s lame attempt to poke fun at, for example, disability will attest to this – it’s a relentlessly bleak and far from complete explanation of the purpose of humour. It’s better for a comedian to punch up then down.
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So the real question today’s politically charged climate especially in the so-called culture wars (more visible in the Anglo-American world rather than in the rest of the world) is who is doing the punching up and who is punching down?
It depends as each side of the political divide claims the lower ground ie they are the weaker and therefore don’t deserve to be punched down upon but they can freely punch up.
Dave Chappelle’s comedy is the absurdity behind the so-called victim olympics that pervades behind woke culture. So making jokes about people of colour by white people is punching down but, as Chappelle alludes, people of colour can’t make jokes about white men in skirts ie trans because that’s now a greater sin and it would be punching down. In accepting the Mark Twain Prize for American Humour in 2019, Chappelle said a good joke is a finely crafted joke and one designed to offend regardless of one’s feelings or of one’s politics. Victimhood in terms of giving personal or political offence has no place in comedy.
I believe a joke is a joke. It doesn’t matter where it comes from so long as it’s funny. If you laugh, you own it.
I personally think much of our popular culture is overwhelmingly left - from Hollywood to the BBC - I don’t think that should be a controversial statement. It’s nearly always been that way as it attracts a certain kind of creative content maker whose values are liberal in the classical sense. There’s nothing wrong in that because this liberalism of the past didn’t necessarily inject itself into the art except in very benign ways but mainly it just told a damn good story or made us laugh because they told genuine funny jokes (from Python to Blackadder and Frasier to the Simpsons).
I think that’s changed now as woke ideology is increasingly the raison d’etat of a new generation of creative content makers. The message is more important than the craft itself.
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Anyway, I digress.
Punching down is a charge of course that has been levelled at Dave Chappelle for his many jokes about different groups who have invested a great deal in their identity and also exert their own social and political power. But does he really do that? I don’t think so.
The mainstream media critics publicly hated his comedy special, but the ordinary audience overwhelmingly loved it (if rotten tomatoes metric score of 96% approval is anything to go by). It’s clear that many in the mainstream media had not really watched the show or gave an accurate account. Indeed the mainstream cultural critics in the US and in the UK prevented its readers from knowing that a debate was even happening, let alone what it is really about. If the argument about gender theory is mentioned at all, it is dismissed as a bunch of “anti-trans” bigots - aka ‘TERFs’ - hurting a beleaguered and tiny minority, for some inconceivable, but surely awful, reason.
As one of my favourite conservative writers (and gay rights advocate) and as an authority on the conservative philosopher, Michael Oakeshott, Andrew Sullivan put it really well, as he always does:
“Chappelle’s final Netflix special, ‘The Closer,‘ is a classic. Far from being outdated, it’s slightly ahead of its time, as the pushback against wokeness gains traction. It is extremely funny, a bit meta, monumentally mischievous, and I sat with another homo through the whole thing, stoned, laughing our asses off - especially when he made fun of us. The way the elite media portrays us, you’d think every member of the BLT community is so fragile we cannot laugh at ourselves. It doesn’t occur to them that, for many of us, Chappelle is a breath of honest air, doing what every comic should do: take aim at every suffocating piety of the powers that be - including the increasingly weird 2SLGBTQQIA+ mafia - and detonating them all.
‘The Closer‘ is, in fact, a humanely brilliant indictment of elite culture at this moment in time: a brutal exposure of its identitarian monomania, its denial of reality, and its ruthless tactics of personal and public destruction. It marks a real moment: a punching up against the powerful, especially those who pretend they aren’t. Bigoted? Please. Anyone who can watch this special and think Chappelle is homophobic or transphobic is either stupendously dumb or a touchy fanatic. He is no more transphobic than J.K. Rowling, i.e. not at all, and the full set masterfully proves it to anyone with eyes and ears.“
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I would argue it’s hugely reassuring to see the ‘powerful’ laughing at themselves - in this case the LGBTQ+ community’s more shrill and self-righteous social justice warrior activists that brook no public criticism of their conduct against women and other critics who don’t have the power to fight back and are instead cancelled. It is a trusim to say that finding oneself comical is a token of maturity. It means being able to see one’s faults, without being too defensive about them. This, I argue, was one of the messages of Chappelle’s comedy show.
The thing that intimidates us isn’t actually power. It’s power that looks like it’s going to be inhumane: insensitive, unkind power. So we’re intently interested in things that reveal a mature, kindly sort of power.
Humour often provides a mechanism whereby the powerless (or at least the less powerful) can give constructive but pointed feedback to the powerful. Whether the powerful - in Chappelle’s view that would be the trans and social just warrior crowd - can take social commentary masked as a joke says a lot about their level of maturity.
Humour, as one neurosurgeon sister put it, is a form of psychological processing, a coping mechanism that helps people to deal with complex and contradictory messages, a response to conflict and confusion in our brain. Humour that is in bad taste or cruelly targeted at particular groups may generate conflict, but humour is also our way of working through difficult subjects or feelings. In this sense the comedian’s role is not validate our feelings but to make us think.
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In olden days, the idea of the court jester - an officially licensed and salaried comic  - was built on the importance of humour to the mental health of the powerful. Even if in the council room or around the dinner high table, the leading people didn’t feel much like joking, the jester was required to make barbed, witty and perhaps mocking remarks to deflate pomposity and restore sane perspective. The high table may not be occupied by the feudal elites anymore but by a more egalitarian society now.
Who can disagree with the fact that all of us - leftist, conservative, revolutionary, traditonalist, straight, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, different colours and many creeds - are not in need of our inflexible egos and the self-important pompous bubbles we inhabit from being burst open from time to time?
If we live in a world where everyone demands equality, in other words to sit at the same high table, then we also sign up to be equally ‘offended’ by the court jester, however fair or unfair it may feel.
The shrill of cancelling a comedian is not the answer if we find a joke offensive. We have the right to protest. We can protest by...not laughing. It really is that simple.
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Thanks for your question.
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