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christhopersturniolo · 2 months

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୨ PINKY PROMISE ୧

Summary: Y/n finally confronts her abusive dad, leading to a massive argument, where she leaves the house.

Warnings: Angst, daddy issues, violence, cussing.

Notes: English is not my first language, so I’m sorry about any mistake!

୨୧

Im on the living room couch since my dad left the house. My eyes blink slowly, struggling to stay open. I see on my phone, 2AM. The big yellow light only makes me drowsier at each second that goes by. As soon as my eyes close, I hear the door opening, automatically getting my attention.

I sit up, rubbing my eyes. I watch the old man walking through the living room with a bottle of beer in his hand. The familiar smell of alcohol fills the room. He looks in my direction, his eyes narrowing as they land on me. “What the hell are you doing still up?" He asks with a tone of accusation.

I hesitate before answering, finding the right words. “I.. I was just waiting for you, dad.” I reply. The tension in the room is big.

"Waiting for me? More like waiting to nag me, you little brat." He scoffs as he walks over to the kitchen, opening the fridge and getting another alcoholic drink.

I feel the rage burning inside me, but I push it down, knowing it will only make things worse. “I was worried about you” I say, my voice trembling slightly. “You were gone for hours, and..”

But before I can finish my sentence, he cuts me off with a bit of a laugh. “You are just like your mother, always putting your nose where you are not called” He takes another swig from the bottle. I put my phone in my pocket. I start getting up, maybe going to bed was actually the best idea, but it looks like he still has things to say. “You're the last person who should be worried about me, little bitch.”

All his words just remind me of how much I hate him. Since my mom died, nothing has been the same. He started getting into alcohol, drinking every day. I have bruises from all the times he had ever hit me. I hate when he mentions my mom, like he didn’t even loved her. I turn myself to him. “It’s not my fault you go out to drink like a fucking addicted, just because you can’t stand the idea of mom not being here anymore!” I say. “And I shouldn’t be worried?!”

“You are just like her” He looks at me with disgusted eyes. “Always running your mouth, just like your goddamn mother.” He gets closer, his breath hitting my face. “If she was here, she would be embarrassed of having you as a daughter, just like I am.” He pauses. “You are just a mistake. I wish I had used a condom that night. No one can fucking stand you.”

I shake my head. “That’s not true.” I try to convince myself. Some tears running down my face, I just can’t avoid them. I feel more and more angry.

He simply keeps talking. “And let me tell you,“ He points an accusing finger at me. “That shitty boyfriend of yours? He’s just with you out of pity.”

“You don’t know what you are talking about. You don’t know him, dad.” My breath gets heavier.

“He’s just using you, like everyone around you, piece of shit. You will see, as soon as he finds someone bett-“

Suddenly, before he could finish talking, I push him away from me, making him lose balance, almost getting him on the floor. “Stop! Just shut the fuck up already! Leave me the fuck alone!” I scream, tears blur my vision.

But my father’s rage only seems to intensify. He doesn’t give up. He comes back, his hand connects with my cheek, slapping me across the face, leaving a red mark. For some moments, I froze. “I hate you!” I yell "I hate being here! I hate every moment spent under this roof with you!"

“Ungrateful brat! That’s all you are!” He affirms, louder than me.

“I hate the way you treat me, the way you talk to me, the way you make me feel like I'm worthless! I’m out of here!” I use the same tone as him, but this time sobbing. And with that, I start walking towards the front door, I open it.

“Sure! get the fuck out of my house! And I don’t wanna see your ass back here when you realize the shit you’ve made!” He tells me. I take one last look at him before shutting the door.

I start crying uncontrollably as I walk through the dark streets. I don’t even have where to go, I just wanna get out of this place. The only thing I can think of is Chris. I need him. He’s the only one who will understand me.

The panic just builds up as I walk the fastest I can to his house. Each step that I take doesn’t feel real. How the fuck is this actually happening. After an eternity, I finally reach his house. I ring on the doorbell, nothing. It just makes me cry more and more. I ring again, still nothing. Until I finally see the door opening. His eyes half closed, shirtless only with his pajama pants on. He blinks in confusion.

“Y/n? What’s.. What’s wrong? What are you doing here?” He asks with his husky voice.

“Chris.. Im sorry.. I..” I try to speak but the words catch in my throat, I’m only able to cry. He pulls me into a hug, my head buries on the crook of his neck as I keep breaking down. He holds me tightly, as I cling to him, my tears soaking his bare skin.

He kisses the top of my head a few times “Shh it’s okay..” He whispers. “You don’t gotta say anything right now, I just need you to breathe, love. I’ve got you..” We stay like this for some moments, until I calm down a bit.

He pulls me back from the hug, making me look at him. “Why don’t you come in so we can talk better, huh?” He questions me calmly. Chris leads me to his room, always holding my hand. As we get there, he closes the door behind us.

“Let me get you something more comfortable to wear” He looks on his wardrobe. As soon as he finds it, he hands me an oversized hoodie and some fluffy pajama pants. Once I'm settled into the cozy clothes, my boyfriend guides me to his bed. We lay down, my head on his chest as a pillow. He strokes my hair gently. “I hate seeing you like this.. Do you talk about what happened?”

I sniff. “It’s just.. Everything with my dad..” My voice shakes as I talk. I start tearing up once again. ”We argued again, but this time.. I said I wasn’t coming back there, but I don’t even have anywhere to go..” I go back to crying.

“Listen to me, you do. You have me, you are staying here for how long you need to. I’m sorry I didn’t got you out of that house earlier.” He rubs my back.

I sigh. I look up at him with my watery eyes. “Can I make you a question?” I whisper.

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Do you ever.. Do you ever regret being with me? Do you ever wish you were with someone else?”

Chris's brows furrow with concern as he looks into my tear-filled eyes. “Hey, hey, hey.. Why are you asking me that?”

“I don’t know.. My dad is always telling me how you are going to leave me and.. I.. I don’t know..” I say insecure.

Chris cups my face with his hands. “Y/n listen to me, those are just lies. Im not going to leave you and I don’t regret being with you, I love you.”

“Do you promise me?” He wipes away my tears with his thumb.

He extends his pinky finger towards me. “Wanna make a pinky promise?” His sentence makes me chuckle a bit, like a little kid. Slowly, I reach out and intertwine my pinky finger with his. “I promise that I will always be here for you, Y/n.” He smiles. “Now can you promise me that you will never doubt about it?”

“I promise Chris.” He gives me a soft peck on my lips.

୨୧

omg this end was so shitty

taglist: @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @orangelala @annamcdonalds67 @lilo7sworld @soso-scarlettolivia @junnniiieee07

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gemmakesart · 1 month

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Gaz x TM!reader

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Transmasc reader

Summary: You explain to Gaz how you can never be a real man, and he proves to you that you are, at least in his eyes.

Note: Mentions of dysphoria, heavily implied psychological abuse in the past, scars, nudity, depression, non-violent self harm

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You couldn't remember how long you'd been sitting there, staring yourself down in the mirror. It's slanted frame was supposed to make you look better. Why wasn't it? Why could you just never be good enough to even think of yourself as a man? Your thoughts were running at a million mile per hour, mostly thoughts of hate, when the door to your apartment creaked open. You couldn't even afford a good apartment. That's how much of a failure you were. Your mother would be disappointed.

She'd say, "What happened to my little princess? Why did you do this to yourself? Did you even think about how I would feel, as a mother? You selfish, selfish devil daughter. Never even send me money."

Your thoughts were spiraling when you felt those hands on your shoulders. You whipped around, half expecting your mother's cold, sharp acrylics in your delusion. No. It was your boyfriend, Kyle.

"Love? Are you alright? You don't seem.. here." His voice was concerned as your cold gaze turned down. Couldn't even cry. He pulled you into his hold as he saw the way your eyes fell.

He'd been away for some time, out on deployment. You hadn't had an outlet for your hysterical thoughts, no one to tell you they were illogical. You'd spent most of your time, after the first few weeks that were good, crying. Curled into the sheets that barely smelled like him anymore, painful sobs racking through your body. If only you could do that now.

"Kyle." His name felt guilty on your tongue. "'M sorry. I-I was just... thinking. About my mum, and myself, and..." You trailed off into sadness, grateful for the way he pulled your hips into his lap, and hushed you gently. "I've been doing to much thinking. Haven't I?"

Kyle softly rubbed your back. "About what hon?" You had to force the words out. Your mouth was so tired.

"Stuff. How I won't ever really be a man, how- how I shouldn't even be here.. how my dad should've left before I could happen." You said all these like factual truths, testaments to your worthlessness. You could see the concern in Kyle's eyes.

"That's not true. You're a man to me, and you're a man to you. That's all that really matters, yeah? And if you weren't here, hell knows where I'd be right now." He ticked through, one by one, trying to make you see sense out of your mental echo chamber of negative thoughts. It hurt to think about. It stung you, that you had possibly hurt him by hurting yourself.

You curled your arms around your cold, starving, naked form. That's right. You hadn't even been able to get yourself out of bed to make food. Kyle placed his hands on your shoulders, seeming to notice your protective movements, and the littered scabs of vomit around your mouth. (You'd gotten sick from staying inside to much. The doctor had said a vitamin D deficit and lack of proper diet, and given you a concerned look.)

"Look, love. How about I make you dinner, and then we can talk. I think you'll feel better on a full stomach." You nodded. You knew that you needed food. You just didn't want to feel needy. He rubbed his thumb on your cheek. "Hell, I'll draw you a bath. You deserve it." You nodded again, the same tired, struggled movement.

With that, Kyle scooped you up, moving you into the bathroom. You laid against his form, trying to memorize every little change of his body as the bath slowly filled with warm water. You missed the sensation of him until you felt the warm water caress you, stinging at every raw patch you had scraped into yourself. You whined. Kyle carefully laid you down. "You know, you're still awfully handsome. You'd look more handsome with food in you and less pale, but you're handsome. I'll take care of you now." All you could do was nod along, finally being able to let out some of the tears that welled up in you.

You sunk as far into the bath as safety would allow. You were embarrassed at how dirty you were. But Kyle didn't seem to mind. He never minded. He grabbed the softest washcloth you two owned, wetting it in the bath water. "You need help washing up, yeah? I'll help you." He scrubbed gently, but with expert precision.

You couldn't help but want to cry as he went over your chest. You'd tried so many things before. You'd gotten top surgery, but it was slightly botched. You were uneven, and had to get a follow up because you'd gotten infected. You ached at even the memory. He worked farther down, and you winced as the washcloth went over the bumps that were your ribs. You'd lost almost all of the muscle and fat you had built up when Kyle was here. You were stick-thin now, and you hated it. He scrubbed your inner thighs, raw from rubbing together when you cried. Your knees that hurt from disuse, your feet that were nearly frozen off.

He dipped your head into the water, getting it thoroughly soaked before he scrubbed shampoo into it. His fingers traced across your scalp, feeling incredibly good as he rinsed the shampoo out. The water was still pretty hot, so he gave you a little kiss on the forehead, standing up.

"I'm gonna make dinner, yeah? I'm gonna make you the best food you've ever had. I promise you. You just sit here for a bit." With that, he walked away, and you curled into the hot water.

You could have sat in that water forever, but you liked when Kyle came back, not hesitating to wrap you up in a warm towel, which you burrowed yourself into. He helped you slip into your clothes, comfy ones, and dried your hair gently. You looked very fluffy by the end of it.

He led you out to the kitchen, murmuring about how you were doing "so good", and you just needed to keep it up. He sat you down on a chair around the coffee table (your apartment wasn't big enough for a full dining table), where there were two plates of food. Rice and beans and chicken. Filling, hearty foods.

"I- Thank you. 'M sorry that I upset you." You curled more into your sweatshirt. Kyle seemed very concerned at this. "I'm not mad at you. You should have this. Why don't you eat?" You just nodded lamely, forcing yourself to eat the food. It wasn't bad food. It was definitely good, but you just hadn't had food in so long it almost hurt to eat even just that plate. You wanted to cry.

You could only manage to eat about half of the food, before you groaned and leaned your head onto Kyle's shoulder. He quickly moved it down to his lap. You didn't mind that. You curled into his lap, enjoying the warmth. He combed his fingers through your hair, gently propping you up again. "I bet you're tired, huh?" You nodded weakly. You'd been in bed, but were ashamed to admit you hadn't slept much at all. You wouldn't mind getting some good sleep tonight.

He lifted you up, gently plopping you down on your bed. He snaked his arms around you, leaning into your neck. "I missed you." You murmured back, your tired eyes closing and sleep drifting into your mind. You slept relatively well, only waking up twice through the whole night. Safe to say, your life was much better when Kyle was there.

#mw2 #cod mwii #cod #cod mw2 #kyle gaz garrick #x reader #x m reader #x male reader

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an-angels-fury · 3 months

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🌟 You Are My Destiny 🌟 - A Caspeter Playlist

A small tribute to @equixen's new fanfic "Our Hands Are Tied" 🫶

True Love - P!nk

Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say / Sometimes I wanna slap you on your whole face / There's no one quite like you, you push all my buttons down / I know life would suck without you / At the same time I wanna hug you / I wanna wrap my hands around your neck / You're an asshole, but I love you / And you make me so mad, I ask myself / Why I'm still here? Or where could I go? / You're the only love I've ever known / But I hate you, I really hate you / So much I think it must be true love

I Found - Amber Run

And I'll use you as a warning sign / That if you talk enough sense, then you'll lose your mind / And I'll use you as a focal point / So I don't lose sight of what I want / Oh, and I found love where it wasn't supposed to be / Right in front of me / So talk some sense to me

Wicked Game (Cover) - Ursine Vulpine, Annaca

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you / It's strange what desire will make foolish people do / I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you / And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you / Oh I don't want to fall in love / Oh I don't want to fall in love with you

War of Hearts - Ruelle

I can't help but love you / Even though I try not to / I can't help but want you / I know that I would die without you

Neptune - Sleeping at Last

I'm only honest when it rains / If I time it right the thunder breaks / When I open my mouth / I wanna tell you but I don't know how / I'm only honest when it rains / An open book with a torn out page / And my inks run out / I wanna love you but I don't know how / I don't know how

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

So, before you go / Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? / If only I've known you had a storm to weather / So, before you go / Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? / It kills me how your mind could make you feel so worthless

The Great War - Taylor Swift

There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair / And we will never go back to that / Bloodshed, crimson clover / Uh-uh, the worst was over / My hand was the one you reached for / All throughout the Great War / Always remember, uh-uh / We're burned for better / I vowed I would always be yours / 'Cause we survived the Great War

Who Wants to Live Forever - Queen

There's no time for us / There's no place for us / What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us? / There's no chance for us / It's all decided for us / This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us

Arcade - Duncan Laurence

A broken heart is all that's left / I'm still fixing all the cracks / Lost a couple of pieces when / I carried it, carried it, carried home / I'm afraid of all I am / My mind feels like a foreign land / Silence ringin' inside my head / Please, carry me, carry me, carry me home / I've spent all of the love I saved / We were always a losing game / Small town boy in a big arcade / I got addicted to a losing game / Oh, all I know, all I know / Loving you is a losing game

In My Veins - Andrew Belle

Nothing goes as planned / Everything will break / People say goodbye, in their own special way / All that you rely on and all that you can fake / Will leave you in the morning but find you in the day / Oh, you're in my veins and I cannot get you out / Oh, you're all I taste at night inside of my mouth / Oh, you run away 'cause I am not what you found / Oh, you're in my veins and I cannot get you out

Dynasty - MIIA

The scar I can't reverse / The more it heals, the worse it hurts / Gave you every piece of me / No wonder it's missing / Don't know how to be so close to someone so distant / And all I gave is gone / Tumbled like it was stone / Thought we built a dynasty that Heaven couldn't shake / Thought we built a dynasty like nothing ever made / Thought we built a dynasty forever couldn't break up

All I Want - Kodaline

All I want is nothing more / To hear you knocking at my door / 'Cause if I could see your face once more / I could die a happy man, I'm sure / When you said your last goodbye / I died a little bit inside / I lay in tears in bed all night / Alone, without you by my side / But if you love me / Why would you leave me?

Rewrite the Stars - Zac Efron, Zendaya

How do we rewrite the stars? / Say you were made to be mine / Nothing can keep us apart / 'Cause you are the one I was meant to find / It's up to you, and it's up to me / No can say what we get to be / Why don't we rewrite the stars / Changing the world to be ours / You know I want you / It's not a secret I try to hide / But I can't have you / We're bound to break and my hands are tied

Fire on Fire - Sam Smith

When we fight, we fight like lions / But then we love and feel the truth / We lose our minds in a city of roses / We won't abide by any rules / I don't say a word / But still you take my breath and steal the things I know / There you go, saving me from out of the cold / Fire on fire, would normally kill us / But with this much desire, together, we're winners / They say that we're out of control and some say we're sinners / But don't let them ruin our beautiful rhythms / 'Cause when you unfold me and tell me you love me / And look in my eyes / You are perfection, my only direction / It's fire on fire

King and Lionheart - Of Monsters and Men

Howling ghosts, they reappear / In mountains that are stacked with fear / But you're a king and I'm a lionheart / And in the sea that's painted black / Creatures lurk below the deck / But you're a king and I'm a lionheart / As the world comes to an end / I'll be here to hold your hand / 'Cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart

Two Men in Love - The Irrepressibles

If I asked you now / Will you be my prince? / Will you lay down your armor / And be with me forever? / When you open me / All the power in me moves / How you want to see / All the depths of me real / When you open me / All the power in me moves / I feel real / I love you

Turning Page - Sleeping at Last

I've waited a hundred years / But I'd wait a million more for you / Nothing prepared me for / What the privilege of being yours would do / If I had only felt the warmth within your touch / If I had only seen how you smiled when you blushed / Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough / I would have known what I was living for all along / What I've been living for / Your love is my turning page / Only the sweetest words remain / Every kiss is a cursive line / Every touch is a redefined phrase

Saturn - Sleeping at Last

You taught me the courage of stars before you left / How light carries on endlessly even after death / With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite / How rare and beautiful it is to even exist / I couldn't help but ask / For you to say it all again / I tried to write it down / But I could never find a pen / I'd give anything to hear / You say it one more time / That the universe was made / Just to be seen by my eyes

You - Keaton Henson

If you must leave / Leave as though fire burns under your feet / If you must speak / Speak every word as though it were unique / If you must die, sweetheart / Die knowing your life was my life's best part / If you must die / Remember your life

A Time for Us - Barratt Waugh

A time for us someday there'll be / When chains are torn by courage born / Of love that's free / A time when dreams so long denied / Will flourish as we unveil / The love we now must hide / A time for us at last to see / A time worthwhile for you and me / And with our love through tears and thorns / We will endure as we pass surely / Through every storm / A time for us someday there'll be / A new world, a world of shining hope for you and me

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gingery-juniper · 5 months

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PERSONAL BLABBER TIME

-long personal ramble ahead-

I don't really post personal stuff here, but there's no other platform I feel safe sharing. I don't really share a lot personal stuff online anyway, but I'm really excited about this and I'm just dying to get it all out and share my excitement with someone.

Orange-cat zoomies excited.

🐈[nyoom]🐈

I've been afraid to open up and unmask for so long, but this is the one place I feel like I can be open about who I am. I don't care if anyone actually reads it, I just want to vent it out.

I'm about to start taking T (testosterone)!!!

I am AFAB and non-binary, and now trans-masc.

I've always hated the body I was born with since I was a kid, but never quite knew why. I was raised in a very conservative Christian household that strongly condemned anything outside the "norm". I was raised to be a "good submissive wife"

That never sat right with me, even as a religiously brainwashed kid. And now I understand why. Not just the creepy religious aspect (that's a whole 'nother deal), but that I was never supposed to be a woman.

I knew something was different about me ever since middle school, but I didn't have the experience or exposure to know why I felt wrong in my own body. I was a tomboy I guess, but it was more than that. I my autistic ass always hyperfixated on male fictional characters. Everyone always assumed I had a crush on them, but no, I wanted to BE those male characters.

I spent so many years thinking maybe if I was more perfectly feminine I'd be happy, starving myself to be ~pretty~ and accepted by my family and peers. That didn't do shit and just made me deeply and harmfully depressed and more confused.

I spent so many years "believing" gender and sexuality was a strict "good vs evil" thing. Even daring! to think of deviating from being cis or hetero (those terms are evil and "woke" btw /s) was an abomination. Anyone at all queer (definitely used as a slur by them) was going straight to hell.

I feel sick knowing I used to believe that.

Well, I didn't really believe it. It didn't make sense to me, but I was conditioned to think that way (for fear of punishment) so I went along with it. But it didn't make sense and confused me when I started to meet and make LGBTQ friends in high school and at my first job. They were such amazing people. I couldn't figure out how they were possibly "evil".

I'm so angry it took so long for me to finally break out of that brainwashed mindset and start thinking clearly for myself.

10 years later, after a long time away from my parents/family, it's all making sense. The egg has cracked.

I've since found the LGBTQA+ community and have never felt more accepted and understood. This is where I have always belonged and I'm so grateful to have made it this far to realize that.

I was making formal plans to off myself a few years ago (many factors involved), but seeing some of the things people posted here made me realize that I'm not broken and not worthless and helped inspire me to live.

Over the last few years (and yeah honestly tumblr has been an incredible learning and supportive community resource) I have come such a long way in my personal journey. I am learning who I am now.

I had top surgery earlier this year and it's the best decision I've ever made. I've never been happier in my life.

Somehow my family hasn't noticed.

Now I'm going to start T.

My family won't take kindly to this change. They are very homophobic and especially transphobic. But I'm no longer interested in being palatable to keep them comfortable. I am going to be me whether they like it or not.

For the first time in my life, that I can say with confidence, I want to live.

I am asexual.

I am aromantic.

I am non-binary.

I am trans.

I am queer.

#personal #lgbtqia #lgbtqa #lgbtq community #asexual #aromantic #nonbinary #transgender #queer #queer community #hrt #ftm hrt

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writerswho · 1 year

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Wednesday wakes up with a dry mouth, she tries to stand up, but her head is too heavy.

"Here," she hears someone say and feels something touch her lips. She drinks the water as if she's never done that before. "Easy, your stomach will complain." Wednesday recognizes that voice, but she can't tell from where.

Slowly, she opens her eyes, only to close them again because of the brightness. She hears footsteps and rustling of fabric, she opens her eyes again and sees a figure near the windows adjusting the curtains. Wednesday looks around and recognizes the infirmary.

"Better?" the figure asks, turning to face Wednesday, it is Weems.

"What are you doing here?" she asks dryly as always.

"Well, one of my students passed out in front of me, I had to make sure she was okay," Weems sits down in a chair next to the bed.

"I'm fine, you can go now."

"No."

"What?"

"We need to talk."

"We don't need anything, no, wait, I need you to forget I exist and stop upsetting me. You already did that once, it won't be hard to do again."

"Willa--"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Wednesday feels anger burn her from the inside out, she tries to get up in a dramatic act, but she doesn't have the strength to support herself and loses her balance, Weems catches her before she falls. "I told you not to touch me!" Her protests are ignored by Weems, who only releases her when she is back on the bed.

"I know you don't like me at the moment."

"I. Hate. You." she repeats, distilling venom.

"And I know where those feelings come from, and as much as it pains me to say it, they are valid."

"Thank you for acknowledging that my hatred is valid, I feel a lot better now."

"Wednesday, I'm sorry, for everything."

"Are you apologizing?" she laughed incredulously. "Sorry is just an empty word people say to appease their guilt. Apologies are worthless, your apologies are worthless."

"Maybe they really are worthless, but still, I want you to know that I didn't leave because of you."

"Stop."

"Your parents and I were having problems that we couldn't solve, and at the time I thought the best thing would be to stay away from them. I never meant to hurt you, Wednesday."

"I told you to stop! I don't care if you were having problems or not, if you hate each other or not, you walked away. One moment you were there and the next you were gone and all without even bothering to say bye. I called for you, I cried for you, I spent sleepless nights waiting for you to come back because I didn't want to believe that you were really gone. But you were, you left without saying goodbye, and for that I will never forgive you."

"Neither will I ever forgive myself."

"Good, because you don't deserve forgiveness."

[1] [2]

#it sucks but it's just for fun anyway #netflix wednesday #wednesday addams #larissa x morticia x gomez #larissa weems

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nanamishorecumslut · 4 months

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The other woman

description: You and nanami are in an arranged marriage, but he doesn't love you. As for you, you do love him. Love him so much that you let him cheat on you. After some years you are miserable and unhappy, all of this is just hell. But what can you do? You love so much.

warnings: cheating nanami x fem reader!, angst, sadness, broken heart, that bitch from the bakery, bad writing, delusion(maybe), from cuquett to emo, not proofread, lana lyrics, arranged marriage(?) (some are warning some are not okey?)

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reader pov

Some people say that finding love is like the lottery. If you get lucky you'll win. And even if you don't win there's going to be a price. That's just how life works, some people win, but at what cost? They find their person, that human that makes them feel like paradise and are overall loved in every way. Sometimes your person belongs to someone else and not you.

I remember like it was yesterday, the day my parents presented me to Nanami Kento. That day our arranged marriage began, flowers, different cake flavors, dresses and so many things only I could ever imagine. Through this process Nanami seems to be interested, excited even, but one day that would all change. I remember how he looked at the girl from the bakery, it was like love at first site. After that day Nanami insisted on going more. I didn't mind because my heart was throbbing with love. Love that has developed in a very short amount of time.

Some time after the wedding Nanami spent less time at home and when he was at home we didn't cross eyes. I later discovered that he was cheating, and the girl? Well it was the girl from the bakery. I was destroyed, heart broken. I love Nanami, but he did not love me. Every song I heard, the flower from the garden, even the strawberry reminded me of him. I can't leave him. I love him so much that it hurts, so what did I do? I never confronted the cheating which I regret.

For years the only thing Nanami ever did was leaving the house with a small good bye, and at night he'll come back just to eat and sleep. I tried making conversation but it was worthless. Our time in bed was as bad. The only time we ever had sex was on our wedding night. That was the only time we ever did such an act, and he made sure to let me know that it was the only time he'll do it. I asked him why and he told me that he didn't want to do it,not with me at least.

At some point Nanami didn't even bother to go home. I was there, lonely, with no one by my side. Maybe loving him was never enough. Today some paper was on my door, it was divorce paper. I knew this day was coming, so why am I so sad, heart broken. All of this hurt me so bad but why did it feel like true love? Nanami was never home so why did I love him so much?

Love can be tricky if you don't know how to love. I hate myself for wasting so many years. Maybe I didn't love Nanami, maybe I just love the fantasy I created in my own head about this marriage. Was I even married? If only I'd known about all of this, possibly my life wouldn't be this miserable.

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an: damn this is sad even for me likeeeee. Also I refuse to be aesthetic cuss Im not like other gorls. Okey no I just want some of my humor in my post ya know?. This is my second time writing something and I think Im getting the hang of it (no Im not but ig I'II learn or smth)

#nanami kento #heart been broke so many times #jjk #nanami x reader #sad #i love nanami but i was feeling angsti #sorry to the bakery girl for calling her a bitch #i love lana del rey #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu nanami #jjk nanami #dislexia #second post #this is bad #emo #humor

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whispersbelongingbird · 3 months

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Headcanons for Fuegoleon and Mereoleona’s reaction is Leopold was a traitor? You can include Yuno if you want to for extra angst

Well quite obviously Fuegoleon was devastated and in denial. His little brother who was practically the reincarnation of the sun, traitor? No way it was true.

When Fuegoleon finds out it is indeed true he would blame himself for what happened to Leo. Look back on how he could have made things work out. Wallow in the fact that he couldn’t be there for his little brother.

Mereoleona is pissed. She doesn’t know Leo is playing this prank on but it has to stop right now. Mereoleona will go out hunting for him until she finds Leo and sets things straight.

If Mereoleona does eventually find Leopold she won’t lash out as expected. Probably more calm and understanding. Once everything if fixed (if it ever will) then she will start yelling at him. She wouldn’t want Leopold to run off again without having a chance to talk to him about what led him to this.

After it was officially announced that Leopols had gone against the Clover kingdom. Fuegoleon tried his best to appear normal in front of his squad, he was always goof at concealing his emotions but lately it has all be slipping. Sometimes he’d just sit down and think about the good times, rich with smiles. Usually ends with a single tear rolling down his face until Mereoleona finds him.

Mereoleona’s relationship with Leopold was different than with Fuegoleon’s. She was more harsh on the kid and showed affection in weird ways but Leopold would always understand. He understood her and she understood him, but for once she thought Leopold was a complete stranger.

Mereoleona was never good with touchy feelings, always leaving that stuff for Fuegoleon. Though, sometimes she thinks she could have tried more. She could always tell when Leopold was upset even when it was a small thing. Whether it was a small little fight with Yuno or getting yelled at from his parents, she could tell. She just wishes she could have used that to her advantage.

Yuno was also in disbelief. He spent days searching for Leopold trying to look for answers, trying to get him back. The other day they were all over each other, smiling and laughing so what happened?

The boy got no sleep at all. William had given Yuno’s missions to others because he clearly wasn’t in the state to go anywhere or do anything. Langris took over his vice captain duties and all that paperwork. His squad were very soft on him and careful with their words. Mimosa, William and Klaus were the only ones able to talk to Yuno without him yelling at them to go away.

William tracked all of Yuno’s sleepless nights searching and all his missed meal’s. Day by day things only got worst and it was hard watching knowing there was nothing he could do to help.

A week passed and Yuno got a letter from Leopold.

‘Hi Yuno! This is kind of silly isn’t it? After all this time im writing everything down on a piece of paper, huh? Haha, how are you holding up? I hope you’re doing well. I know you’ve heard about the news and I know you’re our searching and worrying but please do not, that is the last thing I want. Yuno I love you, I really do. You will always have a special place in my heart and nothing will change that. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay by your side. But if I did i would have just felt worthless and hated myself. Selfish isn’t it? Please Yuno, forget about me, move on. Don’t blame yourself, don’t look back. You can achieve so much if you just keep going forward! I believe in you, I always will. Even if you hate me and you’re out for my head. Nothing in this world will ever change my undying love for you’

He read it and he cried. He cried so much. He didn’t tell anyone about the letter and he didn’t get rid if it. He put it in a box and placed it on his nightstand then went to sleep.

Im not the best at writing angst so I hope this is good enough!

#leopold vermillion #leopold #black clover #yuno grinberryall #yuno black clover #mereoleona vermillion #fuegoleon vermillion #black clover headcanons #yunoleo #yuno x leopold

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f1luver-95 · 4 months

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Fate Charles Leclerc Story…

…Chapter 1…

...January 2022...

Today was the day.... the day that I would be walking down the aisle to my future. It's scary to think that at 26 years old I will be someone's wife.

I can't help but smile as I remember the times when I was five years old dressing up in our mothers wedding dresses with my best friend Lucy. We would dream about how our lives would be as we grew up.

We would always say that no matter what or no matter where we were in the world we would always be there for each other through the good, the bad and the ugly. Lucy has always been my person, we were inseparable growing up, and too this day we are still inseparable. She is the only person besides my family that I can count on, she loves me unconditionally.

It's crazy how much has changed since the days when we would dress up in wedding dresses and plan our imaginary weddings.

Looking at myself in the mirror... my blue eyes starring back at me as I took a deep breath.

My long brown hair in a low bun with wisps of hair framing my face. My freckles hidden under the layers of makeup that I never usually wore, I looked unrecognizable.

The nerves of the wedding making me feel nauseous. I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and that I could throw up at any minute.

I could feel a small tear form at the corner of my eye as it slowly rolled down my cheek. I reached up and wiped it away as I contemplated my next move. I had watched enough romantic movies to know, I wasn't supposed to be feeling this way on my wedding day.

Was it cold feet or was it my body telling me that marrying him was not the right decision?

Before I met Jake I was a different person then the one staring back at me today.

But now that I'm staring at my reflection in the mirror, I'm starting to hate the person I have become. I have become someone who lets herself be manipulated, treated like crap and never stands up for herself, because I was scared to rock the boat.

I've become the women who begs to be loved by the person who is treating her horribly.

I have been so focused on making him happy that I have neglected myself, and what I needed to make myself happy.

Growing up my parents made sure that my sister and I always knew how strong and powerful we are. Somewhere along the way I lost that sense of empowerment, and all I wanted was to get that feeling back.

I used to love going on adventures. Lucy and I were constantly going on fun adventures, traveling the world and exploring different countries and cultures.

Heck I even spent my early 20's living in Australia and England, working as a live in nanny.

Working with children is one of the only things that truly made me feel happy and free. Like I can be 100 percent myself.... I feel confident and I'm not afraid of being judged when I am with children.

I could escape from my head, the part of me that is constantly worried about people judging me. So I made it my mission to make working with children my career.

Jake always hated that I chose to work with children as my career. I would always hear 'get a real job,' 'your job is so easy anyone could do it... I could even do it if I wanted too.'

Every single time he would make those comments he made me feel useless and worthless.

Did I really want to marry someone who made me feel this way?

If you asked me six years ago about my wedding day, I would have told you it would have been the best day of my life.

Things at the beginning were perfect, he swept me off my feet and made me feel so loved and like I was his priority.

Sadly things have been different ever since Jake proposed to me. His mom moved in with us when she divorced her fifth husband. The second that she told Jake she was getting a divorce she started making statements that she couldn't be on her own and that she needed her son to take care of her. The next day Jake packed up her stuff and she moved in with us... not that I had much say as I was the one to move in with Jake.

Over time it became evident that he was slowly choosing her over me, canceling our dates so that he could be there for his mom.

I absolutely hated it when I was alone with her because she would make comments like, 'why are you on birth control and using condoms? Your supposed to be giving me grand babies...' meaning that she went through our garbage can in our bedroom.

Every time I would tell Jake what she would say to me he would not believe me. After a while I wouldn't tell him, because what was the point if he wasn't going to believe me anyway.

It was almost like he had only proposed because his mom forced him. He was not interested in any part of the wedding planning and every time I mentioned it to him he would roll his eyes or not even look at me, to busy playing his video game.

Every time he would get mad at me he would tell me he loved me a little bit less each time. He would make comments that I was stupid or dumb when I didn't understand something.

I couldn't help but wonder if I was making the right decision by marrying him.

Did I truly love him, or did I love the idea of getting married and starting a family?

Everything was setup for the wedding. We had booked a hotel venue, that has a gorgeous event room that over looked the Miami waters.

I heard a knock on the door, breaking me from my thoughts.

I turned around in the chair I was sitting in and saw my little sister Katie and Lucy walk into the room, a nervous look on both their faces.

"What's wrong?" I questioned as I quickly jumped up from the seat I was sitting in and rushed over to them. Fearing that something had gone wrong with the venue set up.

Katie was in charge of making sure the tables were set just the way I had envisioned. And Lucy was the person the vendors were supposed to contact if there was something wrong.

"We are so worried about you, you have not seemed happy the couple of years but especially the last 6 months. You are supposed to be so happy leading up to your wedding." Lucy said as she pulled me into a big hug.

"Danielle, please don't be mad at us. We did it because we love you, and you deserve to do the things that make you happy." My little sister Katie said as she walked farther into the room I was occupying holding a small white envelope in her hands.

I looked at her, curious. "What are you talking about?"

"Just read the letter." Lucy said as she looked down, afraid to look me in my eyes.

My eyes glanced down at the letter that was now in my hands. I looked at the address that the letter came from and it came from Monaco, which confused me even more. I didn't know anyone from Monaco. I quickly opened the letter and began to read.

Dear Ms. Danielle Andersen,

Thank you so much for applying for the nanny position.

We are extremely impressed with your resume, and your experience as a live in nanny in both England and Australia. Your previous employers could not say enough good things about you.

We look forward to welcoming you into our home and into our busy lifestyle, we believe you are the perfect fit.

We look forward to getting to know you better,

Kelly Piquet and Max Verstappen

I looked up from the letter shocked, what has just happened? What had I just read?

Max Verstappen... wasn't he the formula 1 racer?

I didn't know much about the sport just that he was consistently winning races.

They wanted ME to be their nanny...

Just the thought of traveling to new places made my heart jump in excitement... Something that I hadn't felt in a while.

"Oh, Katie... Lucy" I started before pausing, trying to find the right words to say as a tear slowly started to roll down my cheek.

My head spinning as a million different thoughts ran though my head.

I thought about the letter I just read, and the marriage I was about to jump headfirst into... the marriage that seemed to be already falling apart at the seams.

"Elle, I have seen you suffering in silence for years. I've seen you slowly lose your light and your beautiful smile." Lucy said as she cupped my face between her hands, using one of her thumbs to gently brush away the tear that was slowly running down my face.

I could see her take a deep breath as Katie started speaking.

"We miss your smile; we miss your adventurous spirit. The moment you met Jake, you have been slowly but surely losing yourself to make him shine and be happy. When has he ever put you first? When has he ever established boundaries with his mom? You spent 4 years in a relationship where all you did was put them first. For gods sake you neglected your own happiness to provide and take care of them."

Katie took another deep breath as she pulled me into her arms for a big hug.

"Last week we were looking for nanny jobs overseas for you, and this one popped up. I quickly called Lucy and we decided that we should apply for you; we hoped you would get it. So, you could leave this place, and start over."

Tears welled in my eyes as I pulled both her and Lucy into a big group hug.

My wedding dress suddenly feeling a little bit tighter than when I put it on 10 minutes prior, as the nerves of what I was about to do started to get the better of me.

"Katie, you're supposed to be the little sister, when did you get so wise?" I said as I gave her a big hug, thankful for the comfort as tears started to roll down my face.

"I'm going to do it. I have been sacrificing my happiness for way too long. Traveling and being a nanny makes me happy. Now I just need to go tell Jake that I don't want to get married anymore."

"I love you big sis! Now go tell Jake, I'll go tell mom and dad that the wedding is cancelled." Katie said as she gave me a big hug. "I'm so proud of you for finally choosing you, for finally doing what is going to make you happy."

"I'll go tell the venue and the vendors that the wedding is cancelled." Added Lucy as she gave me another big hug, before making her way down to the event space.

I picked up the glass of champagne that was sitting of the table beside me and chugged it before making my way out of the room and down the hall was to where Jake was getting ready for our wedding.

'That's odd.' I thought as I noticed a pair of red heels right by the door of the suit, that the hotel wedding venue had given us.

With each step I took I could feel my heart beating faster and faster as I noticed things around the room.

Looking for any sign or signal that something was not right.

Every step I took, I could feel my heart sink as the realization started to sink in.

The further I stepped in the room the more I noticed, there were two glasses of half drank wine sitting beside a box of untouched chocolate covered strawberry, and an opened box of condoms.

'What the fuck?' I questioned. I could feel my body start to shake in anticipation of what I was about to see next.

When I got to the door of bathroom, I could hear the sound of the shower running, as well as the sounds of loud moans echoed through the room.

Instantly my heart dropped, 'how could he do this to me on our wedding day?' I could feel the tears weld up in my blue eyes.

I was not going to let him see me cry, I was not going to give him the satisfaction of letting him see me hurt.

I took a deep breath and mustered up all the courage I could, as I reached for the door handle.

"Elle" screamed Jake as soon as he saw me. Quickly trying to cover up the person he was having an affair with his body.

To my surprise, the person he was having sex was my childhood friend Alexis.

"YOU!" I screamed as I pointed at him, "How could you? And with my friend."

"Elle, let me explain" stuttered Jake as he frantically reached around for a towel as he stepped out of the shower.

I looked over towards Alexis and I could see her smirking at me. Just the sight of her smirking at me made my anger boiling inside of me come to a head.

"Elle, babe. It's not my fault that you couldn't satisfy Jake sexually. I'm only giving him what you couldn't." Alexis said as she twirled soaking wet blond hair around her ring finger, the biggest smirk on her face.

"Alexis, babe" I mimicked " a little word of advice, he's only with you because you made it easy for him. Do yourself a favour and get out now. You don't want to have to deal with him or his mother."

"And YOU, are you fucking kidding me... after everything I have put up with for you. You couldn't do the decent thing and tell me you wanted to end things instead of cheating on me with my friend. I dealt with the constant lies and manipulation from both you and your mother. I had to live with the controlling behaviours, afraid to stand up for myself. I put up with all of that for you because I loved you. I put your happiness before my own. I stopped doing the things I love because of you. I was losing myself to make you happy. And you didn't even notice, you were too busy fucking my best friend."

Quickly I slipped off the engagement ring that had been on my ring finger for the last for two years, throwing it on the ground as I walked out of the room, my head held high so that they did not have the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

When I got into my car the tears ran down my cheeks like a waterfall as I desperately tried to wipe them away.

"Fuck them." I screamed out in frustration as I put my car in dive. 'I deserve better than the way he treated me. I'm going to find someone who treats me better than Jake ever did'

I quickly turned onto the highway and made my way to the apartment I had been living in for the past 3 years.

In record time I packed up my belongings and put them into the trunk of my vehicle. Thankfully I didn't have much things at the apartment.

I drove to my parents house to drop off my belongings, as I only planned on bringing my carryon and one suitcase.

I was going to drive to the airport and hop on the first flight out to Monaco so I could start me new adventure. I was not going to let anything stop me from being myself and happy again.

I could see my parents standing at the door, waiting for me when I pulled into their driveway.

"Oh Elle," my mother said as she pulled me into a big hug as soon as I stepped out of the car. "I'm so proud of you, what you did takes a lot of courage and strength."

"Hey, it's my turn to hug her now." My dad teased as he pulled me from my mothers arms and gave me a big hug. I couldn't help but smile as a tear rolled down my cheek, there is something about a fathers embrace that makes you feel safe and loved. "I'm so proud of the women you are today. I will always be here to support you, no matter what."

"Hey! Is it my turn yet? Elle has a plane to catch" Katie whined as she pulled me into her arms for a big hug. "Love you big sister, amazing things are about to come your way. Please promise me something... If love comes knocking on your door, please don't be afraid to answer it. I have a feeling your person is on his way to you."

"I promise." I said giggling.

"Here's your plane ticket." Dad said as he handed me a plane ticket. "As soon as Katie told us about the job opportunity we booked your flight."

"But how did you know you I was going to take the job?"

"We had faith that you would finally see what we have been seeing for the last three years. You deserve the world Elle. Fight for what you want and don't settle just because your afraid of the unknown." My father said as he pulled me close for another hug.

"If you ever need us, please call and we will be on the first flight to you." My mother added as she gave me one last hug.

I waved goodbye to my sister and parents and hopped into a Uber making my way to the Miami airport to start my new adventure.

Once I got to the airport I thanked the driver and made my way inside the airport my carry one and suitcases wheeled behind me.

There was only a small crowd of people at the airport, so checking into the flight and going through security was effortless.

Before making my way to the gate, I stopped by the Starbucks and got myself a grande ice Carmel macchiato.

I was just about to start walking when I felt something knocking into me, causing the coffee I was holding in my arms to spill all over me.

"Oof" I gasped out, looking down at my now coffee stained white T-shirt.

"oh mon dieu." The handsome stranger said, as he looked down at my now stained t-shirt.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking."

His thick French accent catching my attention.

I looked up at the stranger who had bumped into my me and I couldn't help but get lost in his beautiful green eyes.

I could see a faint blush on his cheeks as he was embarrassed about knocking into me.

"Please don't worry, it was an accident. I also wasn't paying attention to where I was going." I said smiling at the stranger hoping to make him feel better about the whole situation.

"Anyways, I kind of like the new look. I know I usually drink my coffee not wearing it, but I think this could be a new fashion trend." I joked trying to make this beautiful stranger laugh.

It was music to my ears when his laugher filled the air.

"Here, please take my sweatshirt. It's the least I can do for ruining your shirt." He said as he pulled the hoodie over his head and held it out for me to take.

"Oh no, really it's okay." I said as I tried to hand back the hoodie that was now in my hands.

"Please." He begged, as he smiled at me.

"Fine," I huffed admitting defeat as I pulled the hoodie over my head, catching a whiff of the cologne he was wearing. Damn he smelled amazing. "Thank you."

"It's the least I could do, it looks better on you anyways." He said as he ran his fingers through his hair smiling. The movement, allowed me to see his bicep muscles that were peaking out from his white t-shirt.

"Calling passengers on flight 130 to Italy. The plane is ready for boarding. Calling all passengers in first class to board first" Rang through the speakers throughout the airport.

"That's me." The stranger sighed as he gave me a small smile. "Have a safe flight."

"You too." I said as I watched him walk towards his gate.

I couldn't help but giggle as I thought about what just happened, as I made my way to my gate. This kind of stuff happens in movies... not to normal people like me.

…Charles's POV…

As I rushed to reach my gate, my mind couldn't help but drift to the beautiful brown hair, blue eyed women.

I couldn't get the pictures of her wearing my hoodie out of my mind, the way it hung loosely on her petite body.

The images of her smiling face engraved into my mind the moment I bumped into her spilling all her coffee on her.

Thankfully she was drinking an ice coffee or the accident would have been more serious.

The sound of her laugh when she joked with me about me spilling her coffee all over her. I could tell that she was trying to make me feel better about the whole situation.

As I reached the gate, slightly out of breath I could see my little brother Arthur standing at the gate waiting for me to board.

"Bro, What took you so long?" He questioned as he saw me rush towards him a big smile on my face. "Dude, why are you smiling like that? And what the hell happened to your sweatshirt?"

"Bro, I think I just ran into my future wife." I sighed as her adorable smile pierced through my mind. "I just wish there was some way, I could find her again."

I quickly told him what happened as i handed the lady at the gate my passport, and boarding pass.

"Bro, if it's meant to be you will run into her again, hopefully not making a fool of your self this time." Arthur teased as we walked towards our seats.

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc fanfic #romance fanfiction #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #charles imagine #f1 imagine #racing fanfic #wattpad #fanfiction

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