#sorry for the rant I’m a health food freak

[larcenywrites]

How would young!Tony and older Tony react upon finding you curled up in a little ball in bed whimpering and crying because your period cramps hurt so fucking bad :(?

He would would be very concerned, and with good reason. He may not know much, but nothing should hurt that bad unless it requires a doctor or something, surely 😣 and may try to recommend it, though that doesn’t exactly help right now :/ tbh he’ll definitely cuddle up to you, and will probably want to just lay on top of you if you let him 🥺 he doesn’t know if it’ll help, but he is warm and cuddly and heavy so maybe it does a little 🥺 and he’ll play with your hair or wipe away/kiss the tears on your cheeks :( he’ll probably also do a lot of research on his own to see if he can do anything! But it’s kinda hard when you don’t know exactly how it feels :( so he may feel a little shorty and useless bc if it :((

But real talk rq, it’s normal to have annoying cramping a day or two of your period, but super bad cramps (especially consistently) is not, especially if it’s also accompanied by a really heavy and/or irregular flow! I recommended starting on a vitamin D supplement + an Omega-3 (provided you are not on any blood thinners, as omega supplements can interact negatively). Of course, I can’t recommend a dosage, as that depends on many different variables like age and weight and what not, so always do research! It is always smart to talk to a trusted doctor or medical provider about awful period symptoms if available, but often times they wanna prescribe birth control first, which is fine if you’re comfortable with it and believe that it’s right for you, and also be sure to do your research on it as well as talk with the doctor! But if BC isn’t an option, many of my friends that I have recommend those supplements to have seen improvements :) though, consistence is key, and it may take 4-6 weeks to start working. I would also recommend finding a good Women’s multi vitamin (I like Garden of Life’s Multivitamin Code:Women, it says 4 a day but I take 2!) as they are created with plenty of zinc and B vitamins, which greatly nourishes the ovaries and zinc may also help suppress ovarian cyst development. I also recommend Peruvian red maca root (make sure it’s Peruvian and not the weaker Chinese version, and make sure it’s the red. I use The Maca Team company, via their website, and take 3 raw capsules a day), provided you don’t have any thyroid issues or sensitivities, but again, always be sure to do your own research and/or talk with a medical provider, and to talk with them if you have any medications or medical conditions. Maca root may be too expensive, however (especially when you’re buying it with other supplements), and multivitamins (especially the brand I use) and omega-3s can also get pricey depending on your dosage and preferred brands and where you live, but Vitamin D is often cheap and easily available, and is the best place to start, as it greatly benefits every part of the body! Another great habit to get into is making sure to work avocado, blueberries/strawberries/raspberries, spinach, and/or sweet potato into at least one meal a day, as those are considered superfoods as well as hormone balancing foods! Chicken, eggs, turkey, and low mercury fish are also very good for that, provided you are able to eat meat. Frozen and canned works just as good, as long as they don’t have too much sodium or added sugar! However, I am aware that this can be an expensive option, especially if buying with supplements. If you’ve had your blood work recently and know that the issue isn’t low levels of any vitamins or minerals, be sure to talk with the doctor, as there are some cases where BC is really your only option, but that doesn’t mean you have to take it of course. It just depends on your level of comfort with your period or with taking BC, if anything at all seems to help in any way (such as Tylenol, heat pads, etc), and whether or not you have any specific medications or known medical conditions. I also recommend non-carbonated kombucha for the bloating (among other things) 😘 provided you don’t have IBS or similar digestive distress issues, and aren’t sensitive to oxalates (in particular, getting kidney stones due to high oxalate levels). But if you’re a first timer, don’t drink more than like half a measuring cup or a single measuring cup, and don’t drink it really fast 😅 And keep in mind that while it is vegan and gluten free, there are low but existing alcohol levels, should that be an issue! And no, not enough to require an ID or to get drunk lol. Again, if you have any medications or medical conditions, always be sure to do research and/or talk with your medical care provider! And overall, be sure to stay hydrated on your period (and all the time really)! It can help with headaches and cramps, and is overall important.

I hope everyone here is 18+, but in case you aren’t, you should definitely ask a doctor before following any of this advice and also do research. Also, often times periods are most painful within the first 3-5 years of getting it, as hormones are new and constantly changing with a growing body. I also recommend you not be on this blog if this is the case 😅

I was once in a rough spot with horrible cramps to where I’d was crying or on a few occasions sick and a very heavy flow, and absent periods for up to 80 days even. It’s unfortunate how little info or care is provided to us, even by doctors :( I suffered for years until I kinda just started doing my own research and it took a good few years to get into a good spot and figure out what I needed and what I didn’t. I wish you all good health and hope you can all find the best routine and supplementation for your bodies and cycles :)

#anon #anonymous #answered #larstalks #sorry for the rant I’m a health food freak #I used to have horrible period pain until I figured out what my body needed #and so I hate to see others go through it when there may be a way to fix it :( #especially if it can be fixed a little more naturally than medications #and no I’m not some all natural freak dw I believe in meds and vaccines and all aspects of women’s health care 😭 #but I do think it’s important to cut back on chemicals and processed things as much as possible!

[myhalloweendreams]

I’m feeling bad about myself so I guess I’ll get in a pity time rant... sorry about that and please ignore this post

This is just me letting out some of my sorrows... I guess missing my therapy this week bc I was too focused on work didn’t help at all so I’ve to let it out

Well I’m feeling like shit bc I cant afford to live... Yay!! (life is hell too, but mostly bc of money and tiredness)

Get in the line, right?

So many people are going through this, I should stop mopping about it... I truly feel bad about being like that

like yeah u’re fucked, but if this is all u think about, will it solve anything? It ain’t, right? and I know that, i do, but still I’m always so terrified and concerned about everything and what the fuck i’m gonna do

I feel like a freaking burden and an incompetent adult... like this job doesnt pay me enough for surviving, but it isnt even a minimum age job and I really cant get anything better, I dont have enough qualifications or experience for getting anything else even in the same payment range

I work a lot, I don’t get paid enough and to help all that I have no day for receiving my payment ... it’s already the 11th day of the month and I didn’t get my payment yet, last month I receiveid my payment at the 27th of the month so I’m always stressed about if i’ll have money to pay my bills before their due date

I’m also always stressed that I’ll lose this job too... I’ve no way to surviving without it...Yay!!! How fun!!!

I eat awlfully bad and basically every single person in my life is concerned about it, but 1 i dont know how to cook and yes i know that i could look it up recipes in the internet and try until I get it right, but that get me to my second problem:

I dont have enough energy to try... I literally live all my days without energy

stress + an anxiety disorder + depression + bad eating habits + not being in the sun ever + no exercising + terrible sleeping quality = me feeling like shit and always tired as fuck every single day of my life

what gets me to not having energy even for the most simple tasks, including cooking, showering, brushing my teeth, etc.... I cant be trust even to eat, sometimes i dont even have enough energy to freaking eat

I’m always concerned about not having enough money to pay my bills + my meds + food + the least of my cat’s necessities + the house things i have to buy interchangeably with my roommates... and i dread having to ask for help of my family bc it feels like a certification of failure

I’m so out of it that I’ve medical exams requests pilling up, bc even tho my aunt decided pay a health insurance for me (god bless her soul), bc she was concerned about me, doing the exams mean that I’ve to pay for go there and comeback + whatever meds or wtv they ask for wtv they find wrong.... so i dont go + I’ve little to no energy to deal with it

I mean i have a pain in my jaw, that I’m pretty sure that i displaced, for more than 4 weeks and i didnt go to look it up bc i know i cant afford wtv they ask me to do  about it... I literally am in pay all day, every day at least an mild way, in a good day and eating and opening my mouth hurts like hell, but here i am just pretending nothing is happening, bc u know, poor people cant afford getting hurt

Dude, I was even like “I’ll go to a nutritionist to learn how to drink less milk so I can save money” but then i learned that i cant just get an appointment with one, i’ve to go to another doctor and this doctor has to give me an referral to go to them... I dont have enough energy for that... common help a bitch out

How much I’m trying to save up? 

I avoid to take meds so I dont finish them and have to buy more... headaches, flu, stomachache, diarrhea or wtv only gets to be treated with meds if it doesnt go away by itself

I count my meds so i can make my psychiatrist  appointment when it’s about to end so I dont have to buy different meds and waste the ones I already bought bc he changed them for others... are the actual ones working perfectly? probably not, but at least I wont lose money with that

(they change my meds a lot bc everything seems to stop making effects on me or at very least not making enough effects T-T )

My family wants me to buy hair supplements bc I’m getting more and more bald... i dont have money for that sweeties lol

like genetically i’m supposed to have not that much hair, but u add the stress, the anxiety and the depression to it and u get me losing more and more hair, to the point i have some bald spots and need to get my hair in some specifc ways so they dont show... Yay me³ !!

(for my family: please sweeties stop caring, i cant afford shit)

Ohh I forgot to metion, my job (home office) that doesnt pay me enough to survive normally now wants me to go to the office for meetings so lets add more travel fees to the already overpast budget

since i’ve all that going on my skin is terrible bc u know it doesnt really answers well to all that... so I’ve bad hair, bad skin, not enough money to surviving (what is leisure? I’ve no idea of what it’s to do anything for fun... i cant afford such a thing lol), enough stress, anxiety e depression to make be in the very edge + u know all the health stuff not being look up and no energy

i dont know whats peace of mind for so long now that I’m losing it, but at least I’m doing it with a smile in my face so at least my family doesnt feel burdened lol

so I guess i’m doing peachy and everything is okay lol

Well at very least I’ve my Agatha... she’s the bright side of my life

the little meow meow keeps me haging there, my baby girl is an angel and i love her with all my heart

*Me having a hard time at working*: look at my cat and go “well, I’ve to pay ur food sweetie potato... so let’s keep going”

*me not wanting to get out of bed*: remembers I’ve to feed my baby and attend to it and get up graciously as a freaking zoombie but i do

and so on

-----------------------------------------

Well, well, well... now that I started to talk about Agatha, let it out and I cried a river I’m felling a little better

So since I’m using this as a adjunct therapy or somenthing I guess I feel like doing smt every therapist told me to do but I didnt do bc I felt like it would just make me feel worse, bc I cant have it... making a list of things I would want

I guess the first thing would be: be capable to pay all my things without problems. U know? not having to get worried about money 

the second would be: be able to upgrade the things I use in my daily life

the third: be able to give Agatha all the things I think she would like... treats, the best cat food, environmental enrichment and anything and everything she shows interested in

fourth would be: probably buy the things I like or want just bc I want to , without worrying about expending money... what totally includes buying things for all the people that I care about to my hearts content and giving them (or sending them) all the things that make me think of them and giving money to all the people that i cross asking for it or working in the crossroad

- maybe taking care of the health things that have to be taken care of (it should be somewhere in the list i guess) lol

- do things for fun

- learn things for pleasure

- buy things for and do diy things ( i love to create and to do new things)

- learn new languages... like a new one every time I finish the last one

- relearn Interior Design stuff and learn Graphic Design (i love do things in the computer)

- have a job that I like... I mean I really like (and I know that even like what u do u dont like it every day but still can u imagine working in something that makes u want to get up in the morning happily)

- retrieve my reading ability and read a lot (buy all the books that catch my eyes *---* )

- getting to know more awesome people

- learning physical things that I find cool (like i dont have any affinity with anything physical, I have no strenght either, I also have labyrinthitis what makes me give every time I try)

- buy my mom and my mom a house and give them enough money that they dont need to be worried about bills anymore (well this is probably higher in the list but since is a bigger thing I only thought about it now lol )

- taking care of my apparence I guess... I mean I would love to be able to dress in a way that i like and really be able to try things and find my own style but it would be cool to try to take care of own self too i guess... I’m not much but I guess with money and effort even I could get better, I mean my best can not be the best but still my best

- living in nice place that i’m not scared of being thrown out at any minute (renting a room in a strangers place is very worrisome) 

- OMG!! I just thought it: Go visit my international friends !!!! *----* (this one is hella important)

- do something praise worth

- have a little waterproof portable speaker so i can hear music while showering 

edit: somewhere in the begginig would be not being tired and not feeling miserable all the time, getting over my social phobia, stop having panic attacks, not driving myself insane with anxiety and intrusive thoughts, having my attention spam back, get over my body dysmorphia ... I went all for material things and forgot some pretty important stuff

This list didnt get not even close of the right order lol

it just went in the i just thought about it order lol

I guess I cant think of anything anymore... I’m already tired of dreaming of things I cant have lol 

but it was kind of fun think about nice things

#ranting #bullshiting #ignore this #i had forgotten the read more thing #i should be using it in every personal post #lol #nothing to see here folks #how do u spend ur weekend night? #crying my ass off #while taking stuff out of my chest for no one to see #i guess letting all out is hard but at least it feels a little less burdening #not wanting to let anyone see this side of u is hard bc u dont have anyone to talk about it #but i prefer to not burden anyone just bc i feel bad #but rn thinking about it I guess I would like the people i love to tell me if they are having a hard time #even if i couldnt help i would like to at least listening to them #what a hipocrite #maybe i should talk with someone #maybe #maybe someone would not feel the same #idk #well i just took way too much time writing all this #now ill just let it go #bc im really tired and emotionally exhausted

[yenforfairytales]

Taking a small hiatus...

--

I'm sorry I went MIA, I don't mean to ignore messages, but I'm dealing with a strange health problem(nothing super serious), and it makes it difficult to concentrate... I'm hoping to resolve it soon.

I still have several wonderful and amazing asks I need to answer and I haven't forgotten about you❤

Thank you guys, I love you. Putting my issues under a cut in case people don't want to read that bit.

So, this past Monday I started having difficulty swallowing, which led to difficulty breathing, and it got so bad Tuesday night that I went to Urgent Care. The doctor there kind of laughed at me and said it was just anxiety. But before she was about to leave to prescribe me some anxiety meds, she decided to look down my throat one more time.

That's when she started freaking out and said my epiglottis was swollen(she was wrong) and that I needed to go to the ER right away. She said you're not supposed to be able to see people's epiglottis with the naked eye. The ER doctor later told me that's not true.

(the epiglottis is the little flap in your esophagus that makes sure air and food go in the right direction)

Anyway. I spend about 6hrs in the ER doing almost every test you can imagine, and they all come back NORMAL. I am a paragon of health. At least from what they can tell. They tell me to go home. Which was extremely upsetting because I was sitting there struggling to breathe, unable to swallow my own saliva like 'don't tell me nothing's wrong!'

I can swallow liquids, but it feels like there's something in there that won't go down. Or like the muscle won't swallow all the way. I can't explain it. And my chest is tight, and I'm often short of breath.

The ER doctor assured me I'm getting enough oxygen, and not to worry. She gave me antibiotics in case I have an infection, but I can tell they're not working. She wants me to see an ENT(ear, nose, throat specialist) so they can stick a camera down my throat and see what's going on. I'm in the middle of working on that now.

So, my thinking is either I have really bad anxiety/stress that manifested physically, or I have a stomach acid issue. I don't know. I just want relief.

If they tell me nothing is wrong again I don't know what I will do. I keep having panic attacks about not being able to swallow which obviously makes breathing more difficult. 😞

Hoping to see more doctors and specialists in the coming weeks. Trying to stay sane while I wait. I'm sorry, thank you for letting me rant.

I'll probably still lurk the tags to cheer me up but even that sometimes is hard for me to focus on.

If you are still reading, thank you, hugs, I'll be back soon

💙☯️❤

#personal #health tw #my post

[justsomevoltronstuff]

hc's of the paladins seeing their s/o lose a limb in battle?

sorry for the wait! hope you enjoy :)

(I did Allura as well cause she’s technically a Paladin too)

As the battle raged, they tried to keep you in their sights, but the battlefield was never a good place and now was no exception. You always make them promise not to worry about you in the midst of life and death, but they never listened. Likewise, they always told you to stay by their side if you weren’t in the castle or a lion, so that they could protect you, and you never listened.

You always get so caught up in the battle that you lose track of your team, you wander off and end up fighting for yourself with no hope of aid.

They saw you from across the battlefield, annoyed that you didn’t stay with the group but too preoccupied to dwell on it for too long. You were left mostly to your own devices as they knew you were a well seasoned fighter and could hold your own, but when you started getting outnumbered, they started to worry some. It seemed as though anytime you’d catch a break, several more would appear.

You wear drowning in enemies and exhaustion was bound to override adrenaline eventually. They started making their way toward you, telling themselves that you were a comrade in need and that they weren’t just an overprotective significant other.

Then it happened. You lost your weapon after a particularly harsh blow, and the enemy was coming right down on your head. Out of pure survival instinct, you lifted an arm to protect yourself at the last moment, and then pain seared through your limbs.

You dropped to your knees, screaming, and they rushed to get over to you. The battle was mostly over, and with everyone's attention on you, the remaining enemies were quickly dealt with.

Shiro

he does not handle it well by any means

he lost his own arm and never wanted you to have to go through anything like it

is likely the reason the battle didn’t last much longer because, lets face it, homie went off on some enemies after seeing you get injured

definitely scooped you up and carried you back to the castle himself

everyone else offering to help, but he just needed the reassurance that you were at least still alive

waits outside your cryo pod waiting for you to heal

blames himself for not staying by your side

after your healed he helps you get accustomed to lacking a limb

if/when you get a prosthetic arm he helps you learn out to fight with it and move with it as naturally as possible

cute bonding moments of a shared understanding of being an amputee

Prosthetic Parents™

Lance

you handle it better than he does

he’s absolutely losing his shit while you just calmly pick up your weapon and keep on fighting until you pass out from pain or finish the battle

he paces outside your pod the whole time you’re healing

mumbling to himself about what he could've done and how he should've been by your side

the others are all completely done with him by the time you emerge

“He’s been like this since you went in,” Pidge comments tiredly while working on your new prosthetic

comforting him and letting him know that you’re okay

him worrying that you’re just putting up a front so that you don’t cause anyone to worry about you

you having to comfort and assure him everythings going to be okay

in the days of Pidge still perfecting your permanent prosthetic you have an easily removable one to get used to having one

and sometimes you just pull it off and smack Lance with it when he starts getting too wild

Hunk

definitely cried

like not on the battlefield in the middle of a literal life and death situation

but ohhohoho the moment the field was cleared baby boy was sobbing for you

bakes you cookies and all your favorite comfort foods while waiting for you to get better

is so sweet and gentle while helping you get used to your new lifestyle

helps Pidge engineer your prosthetic

helps you through physical therapy and rehabilitation

honestly is just the most patient and understanding boyfriend

he’s always hyper-aware of you and your emotions and knows when you could use a nice bowl of ice cream or something to hit

makes certain you know you can talk to him

he may still gave all his limbs intact and not know exactly what you’re going through, but would rather be confused than leave you to cope alone

is absolutely devastated on your behalf and is not above crying with you, but also won’t dwell on it if you just wanna move on like normal

is a total sweetheart, no cap

Keith

when he first sees you, he’s so angry

why?! why couldn’t you just do what he asks of you one time and stay by his side?! why wouldn’t you just let him protect and cover you?!

tries to stay calm as to not freak you out on the way to the pod

but the second you’re in and under to start healing?? homie is storming to the training room ready to fight a whole nother battle all by himself

the other paladins just let him go knowing it’s better to let him cool off alone

he comes back and leans against your pod once he calms down

probably pulls his knees to his chest and starts crying

once you’re out you want nothing more than to have him hold you for a while

but he’s avoiding you like the plague

eventually you get tired of it and go to your best friend Lance to rant

“It’s ridiculous Lance! You’d think I cheated on him the way he’s acting!”

hands in the air, pacing, running your hands through your hair every now and then, the whole nine yards

“To be fair, Y/n, you almost died out there. I’m shaken up too, but we all know how Mullet handles things. He probably just needs to think.”

you being so fed up with him, and now Lance too for not taking your side

you just want your boyfriend to cuddle you, damnit

spending hours alone in the training room

half to start working out and getting accustomed to not having an arm and half knowing it was Keith’s go to spot so he’d be forced to face you

once he finally acknowledges you it's completely him trying not to break down into full on sobs while telling you how scared he was

baeby honestly (also sorry, did not mean to make this so long)

Pidge

Pidge.EXE has stopped functioning.

Pidge has experienced loss before, so watching you go down in the midst of a battle, fear and sorrow were the only emotions felt, thought you died

realizes you didn’t die and that you just lost your arm

oh is that all

instead of wasting time outside of your cryo pod just waiting for you to inevitably wake up, decides to get to work on something actually useful

and thus quite possibly the best prototype prosthetic arm in the galaxy is born before you even come out of healing

Pidge is constantly upgrading your prosthetic, determined to give you only the best of the best

struggles to find any other way to cope with this new reality

worries about your mental and physical health

just wants to be there for you and be as helpful as possible in this unforeseen time

thinks you look super hot and badass with a prosthetic arm

Allura

assumes it will grow back

panics when it does indeed not grow back

questions the others on how to best handle the situation

it's a learning experience for both of you

tries to incorporate some Altean gear into your new arm

honestly does not know how to go about helping you but tries her hardest to

offers cuddles, a shoulder to cry on, and someone to talk to if you need it

just wants you to know you can always talk to her

has coffee with Shiro and asks him to tell her everything she needs to know about amputation

is just very loving and concerned and curious and wants to be there for you

~Admin Rori💜

#voltron imagines #voltron preferences #voltron #voltron x reader #keith kogane #lance mcclain #takashi shirogane #hunk garrett #pidge gunderson #allura #shiro x reader #lance x reader #hunk x reader #keith x reader #pidge x reader #allura x reader #voltron legendary defender #admin rori #vld headcanons

[hoodoobarbie]

This is my application for a POC femme lesbian wife. Here is everything you need to know about me, pros & cons - good n bad.

I have a full time job, that allows me to live comfortably. For 3-4 days out of the week, you will only see me in the mornings as I smash a breakfast and rush off to work.

I work a lot, so fancy food is nice for dates but can we also make getting all day massages and laying by the pool and having a drink served to us the norm too. I work at a desk job 12 hrs a day so sometimes I don’t want to be cramped over a table looking at your beautiful face, all the time.

I’m a spa whore. Please become a spa whore with me, thank you. Let’s make going to the spa for a date acceptable. I have been to every 5 star restaurant in the state. I am very bored of them all. I’m also allergic to literally everything so I will mostly be staring at you while you eat. I eat mostly organic, farm to table and working on growing my own food. Even though I do look like the bastion of health, my health revolves around my diet. Likely you will be able to eat everything while I sip on a smoothie, so I don’t literally die. I do have cheat days twice a month.

I party during the summer and once every other month during the off months. I spend my weekends making candles, cooking, studying magick, doing self care, playing video games or gardening. Occasionally I go the arcade dressed in cosplay to tease the straights, then head to the lesbian bar next door.

I like to travel to exotic locations. I love going to Mexico. You must prepare to go to Mexico once a year. I love Mexico, so that’s like non negotiable. We will go to Puerto Vallarta aka Gayville to party with my brother and his problematic white gentrifying husband and get shit wrecked or go to Tulum. These are non negotiable family activities.

My brother is colorist and white washed, so you will have to deal with our constant fighting and me trying to attack him when he bullies me. This happens three times a year, we stop talking for a few months and then rebond again. It’s a toxic cycle but I cannot abandon my brother, unlike the rest of my family. I’m sorry but I know I can change him.

I enjoy giving small or extravagant gifts. I am a Pisces, I love luxury - I express my love through gift giving. You will be gifted a lot of plants, jewelry and other various trinkets.

I also have a memory of a goldfish.

I have ADHD.

I am a neat freak.

I have a praise kink.

I have a small cat named White Person. She is a hairless pink sphinx who wears non comodogenic sunscreen and eats a fully raw organic diet. She has her own collection of UV protective t-shirts and hats. She bathes once a week in powdered donkey milk so she doesn’t get eczema or pimples. Her name was Emily but everyone in my family kept making fun of her naked ass and now she only responds to White Person. So that’s her name now. Sometimes I also call her Whitey. Sometimes she will come to Mexico with us.

I am terrified of masculinity. This is why I am hyper femme. There will be occasional manic rants and literally occasions where I wake up in the middle of the night screaming men are evil. I have trauma and ptsd. So there is that & this also is probably why I hyper feminize. I’m very meticulous and passionate about skin care. If you are my partner, I will also groom you. I think nails, facials and spa days are like very important. Aesthetics are very important to me, so I work hard to have beautiful clean surroundings. Does this stem from a deeply rooted trauma response ? Yes. Am I terrified of dirt and grime ? Yes. I’m hoping I find someone patient enough to deal with that.

I have a therapist, a psychiatrist and a adhd coach. I have a full mental health team, behind me. I’m very passionate about that because of the things that have happened to me in my life.

I’m very social, when I do go out. I will want to get to know everyone. I will be buzzing around because I find people and their little brains interesting. I find all my friends and associates fascinating.

I’m asexual but non sex repulsed. I enjoy having sex and think of it as a way to bond with my partner. I occasionally have libido and function as a sadist but mostly towards cis hetero males. Speaking of which, you should also know I have a weird army of men who function as my subs. I call them my thralls. They just do what I ask. One of them is collared and has a monthly session with me. He is pretty, obedient and is like a servant/assistant part time, he also does great investments for retirement. So there is that too.

Hmmm 🤔 all of this is very discombobulated.

Maybe I will reformat this later.

My requirements for you:

Honestly ... I have no type. Just be aware I am a Pisces. Thank you. If you have some kind of weird hobby that makes no sense, that is very attractive.

#black lesbians #femme bipoc #bipoc lgbtq #lgbtqia of color #black bisexuals

[kinokomynx]

SOME TRIGGER WARNINGS, TALK ABOUT SUICIDE AND PORN

Hi um!

So, little ramble note.

I have a little sister, who is around 15 and is still experiencing her sexuality, pronouns, and how she wants to live life.

She called me crying at 2:42 in the morning, which was an hour ago. I was sleeping, knocked out from the 3 ibuprofen I take because of my insomnia but, I see my phone ringing. Like continuously, so I answer and it's my sister. She rarely ever calls but texts, but I hear her crying with banging along with yelling in the backround. So, of course, I'm up and ready to see tf is up. My sister whispered to me through the phone, I could barely hear:

"Mom is screaming at me and is still screaming at me. Can you pick me up? I'm locked in my room, and she's saying mean things. Please come pick me up, I'm scared" While crying and I could tell by her voice, she was terrified.

I, of course, tell her to stay in her room till I get there and I will make sure things are okay. I get there, my mom is irritated and is sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette and drinking whiskey.

I pick her up and don't question what's up till I get back to my apartment. We get inside, I cook her food and make her drink water because she looked like she hasn't slept in days and looks highly dehydrated. I then ask her what happened.

She explained that she was watching porn, which is normal. And it was Lesbain porn, which in case. She's still trying to figure out her sexuality. My mother soon found out, and was threatening to take her phone away, and was also threatening to kick her out.

She was saying: "How disgusting watching porn was and how she should be ashamed." My sister was utterly embarrassed and was upset. I would too, I mean. Porn is normal, my sister even commented that she was screaming like bloody murder.

I don't have to greatest relationship with mom. My mom has always been the type of person to judge immediately after meeting you and getting nto people's business even if it's not her problem. She's been like this her entire life. I mostly had go lie and keep things secret from her, like cash or my phone. I even had to buy my own phone, because she was soooo up in my business.

I never got along with my Mother while growing up, she was mentally and verbally abusive and mostly caused my PTSD problems and triggers. She's not the greatest person, but. I don't cut her off because of my sister.

My sister is my life and she brings so much joy to me. She's the silliest and cutest person ever. She's the reason why I'm still here and haven't committed suicide and gotten the help I need. She brings me so much joy, that's unbelievable. If it wouldn't be my sister, I wouldn't be here. (Please don't take this offensive, I love you guys and am thankful for the support, but my sister is more important to me. Sorry)

Well, I just got off the phone with my mom like 30 minutes ago and asked her why she was screaming to my sister and I even had to acknowledge that porn was normal to watch. Since it's a way to learn and coop with masturbation.

She dared to say: "Look, I may not know what Pornhub is or what. But, it's disgusting and disappointing. She shouldn't be looking up porn, and especially Lesbain porn? Like, come on! Nobody does that and it's embarrassing. I don't want my daughter to become a freak. Especially one like you. I'm also kicking her out. She can get her stuff this week, or I'm selling it."

I- WHAT?

First off, watching porn is normal. Yes, it may be embarrassing but it's expressing a type of masturbation. Watching it weekly or every day, then yes. That's not normal, that's called a Porn Addict. But, parents need to learn that masturbation is normal and everyone does it, teenagers to it, adults. Even myself does it! Maybe talking to you're children and saying that if you're experiencing some questionable things, like what sex and what body parts mean. You should talk to them, but taking their phone away and threatening them?! No!! That's not the way to parent at all.

Second of all, kicking them out over porn and trying to experience who they are?! Don't you think that's a bit dramatic? My god!!!!! I may love my mother but I will not be in the same room with her because all she does is speak ignorance and awful things.

So story short, my sister will be living with me and I will be helping her to save up a new phone, because the one she has is connected to my mom's. What I mean is that, my sisters phone has a time limit and my mom is able to see and acknowledge what she can do to her phone.

Sorry for the rant, I just had to get this off my chest. Please, PLEASE teach you're children that it's okay to watch porn and people should normalize it. But, please seek professional help if you watch porn 24/7. As a gate away form society, this is bad for you're mental and physical health if you do it a lot.

[commodorecliche]

not to get hella personal on main but i gotta rant... so... putting it under the readmore cause it’s... a lot of drama.

having my in-laws living for 6+ months rent fucking free in my house, the house that i OWN, is decimating my mood... like, my home is no longer a place of solace for me, and it’s driving me insane. there is nowhere in my OWN HOME that i feel like i have sufficient privacy. my mother in law is home all day, and she cleans, which sounds nice, except she goes into my bedroom and bathroom EVERY GODDAMN DAY and rearranges all my shit, moves all my meds around, and god knows what else. i have shit in the drawers i don’t want her seeing. i do not need her going through my fucking MEDS. plus, i have freaking ADHD. i have PLACES for everything, and if something isn’t where i EXPECT it to be, it’s like it doesn’t exist. i’ve forgotten to take my meds more times than i ever have before since they moved in.

i haven’t had the chance to COOK in my OWN KITCHEN in MONTHS because she insists on cooking every single night, and all of it is food that is way too heavy for me (lots of butter, grease, lots of red meat; i eat VERY little red meat usually...) but i don’t say anything because i’m too fucking conflict avoidant to create drama. 

there is ZERO room in my OWN FRIDGE because they go grocery shopping TWICE A WEEK and pack the damn thing through. i went to the store today to buy some stuff for me and my husband, and i bought TEN things, only five of which had to go in the freezer and fridge, and I had to spend 20 minutes rearranging both just to CREATE room for MY shit in MY fridge.

our bills have gone up dramatically - our power bill is up by over $100 every single month. our water is up almost $100 every month. and they don’t pay us. once in a while they’ll toss a little money at us, but for the most part, they never do. they’ve been here for 6+ months and they’ve given us a total of maybe $400. we didn’t want to ask them for money, because the expectation was that they would be saving to get their OWN place ASAP. but there is ZERO talk of them getting their own place. if we ask, we get a vague “oh we looked at an apartment”. i tried setting up a tour for an apartment complex I used to live at, and they just didn’t go.

if they aren’t at the house, i’m stuck babysitting their dog, who literally cannot be left alone in the house, because if my MIL isn’t there, she will constantly poop and pee all over the house. i don’t know how to fix that.. she isn’t my dog, so i don’t know what to do. it’s a serious separation anxiety this poor dog has, and i have no idea how to fix it, because i’m not her human. plus, it’s not my responsibility to train THEIR dog. if i keep the dog in the backyard, she gets lonely and barks constantly, if i put her in her kennel, she barks. i have to make sure that dog is GLUED to my side at all times if my MIL isn’t home so she doesn’t freak out and so she doesn’t use the bathroom all over my house.

fuck man, i had to BEG my in-laws to take their dog to the fucking vet to get some prescription flea medication for her, because my MIL would just “comb out all the fleas” before coming inside, which, we all know doesn’t work. and the dog was giving my cats fleas! my indoor cats, who haven’t had a single flea on them in over 5 years!

and all that is just the tip of the iceberg.

i can hardly get my husband to talk to them, because he knows they’ll freak out if he makes even the simplest of requests. and it’s just not my PLACE to talk to them about this stuff, because they’re HIS parents, not mine. and i understand why he’s scared to talk to them, but i’m starting to feel so resentful that he won’t just... stand up for me to them. on top of that, having them around is super detrimental to his mental health too, so we’ve been arguing more than we EVER have before, because there’s just so much stress in our own home. we hardly EVER used to argue, now it feels like we’re just... snapping at each other, and short with each other, and constantly tense.

i feel like there is no peace or solace or respite in my own home. i’m starting to hate coming home because i know that i’m not going to have any time to myself, and i know all my meds are going to moved around or hidden in new places. while i’m always excited to see my husband, because i adore him, i’m also hesitant to come home because i’m worried we’ll bicker and it’ll just drive my mood down more. my house doesn’t feel like mine anymore, even though i pay the damn mortgage. there’s nowhere i can feel creative and on my own - i have barely written or drawn or painted since they moved here. it has put a HUGE damper on my creativity and it’s killing me. i feel like i’m spiraling.

we did start seeing a couple’s therapist so that we can deal with this as a team... but this shit is killing me... 

sorry, i know this was long, and super personal, but this is literally the only place i can get these thoughts out...

#text #personal #shut up lindsey

[harrywritingsbyme]

Rn i feel lonely like i cant really talk to anyone like my parents i think know my mental health is shit but i guess they dont really know how to deal with it because when some shit happens with some other person they freak out and get mad like you dont talk and make me feel bad for not feeling great like im sorry if i could be happy i would and its the same with like eating they will be like you are getting a bit big you know watch what your eating go walk blabla bla but when i say my relationship with food is shit bc of you they get offended and make me back out and be like no im fine with food and the shitty thing is i cant leave because im too young and moving out is to expensive like broo i hate it but i guess they are concerned right?

And i hate the fact that i dont really go outside and do nice things because of the pandemic so now im just stuck with them for the last year and dont really have friends to rant to or even a bf because now i think im just this horrible person that nobody likes and deserves all the bad thing but now and then i think now im great interesting and deserve good things but i just never hold on too that thought wich sucks like i confuse myself i thought i was awfull dont think anything positive about yourself and i feel so stupid

Bbyyyyy🥺🥺🥺I’m so sorry you’re going through that with your parents!! I know how hard it can be to live with the people who don’t understand or listen to you. And that’s only intensified by not having anyone else to talk to. So I’m rlly sorry you’re going through your struggle with food and your mental health all alone. And you’re not this horrible person that nobody likes and deserves all the bad things...you deserve the absolute best babes and you just haven’t found your people yet, that’s all. But once you do, everything will fall in line and it’ll be great for you. and it can definitely be hard to stay positive, especially about yourself. I’d suggest maybe self affirmations in the morning and throughout the day to keep those positive ideas about yourself fresh in your mind so that you can feel good, even if it’s a little bit babes. But ilysm and if you ever need to talk my messages are open🥺❤️

#asks

[givemequeen]

the beatles x reader

request: oop! i mean medication refill like anti-depressives and yes, i mean like upbeat when i say happy go lucky! Sorry about the confusion! :-) a/n:  guys im so sorry, i want to upload more but i dont have time to write :( pairing: beatles x reader (platonic) summary: the reader, who is normally happy, is really sad because her anti-depressive meds aren’t coming warnings: depression? word count: 771

Fuck why was it taking so long? The refill should have been here two days ago but each time you went to collect it they said it wasn’t here yet. This shouldn’t be allowed to happen. If they say they are going to give you something for your mental health they should. The effects of the medication you were taking were starting to wear off and you seriously needed the medication now more than ever.

The guys would notice soon and then you would have to explain everything to them. What if they didn’t want to be your friend anymore? What if they didn’t want to keep up with all your luggage? What if you were too much for them to handle and they just dropped you? These negative thoughts were getting the better of you and you hadn’t left your room in days.

John, Paul, Ringo and George noticed your absence in the studio. You worked for them as their personal assistant and they missed you. They didn’t mind not having an assistant since they never really ordered you around, they missed having you. Without your laugh, your jokes and your smile the studio was much duller and it was having an impact on them.

So after the third day of not having you, they went over to your place. When you didn’t come to the door they used their own key to come in. Your flat was dark, all the curtains closed and they could hear your faint crying coming from your room. They stopped halfway down the hallway when they heard the noises that emerged from your room.

“I’ll go in there with Ringo.” Paul quickly whispered. “George and John, you two clean this up, open the windows and try to make some food.” John and George nodded and went to work while Paul and Ringo quietly made their way to your room.

They softly knocked on your door and opened it slowly. You were crawled up on the bed, blankets around you and the curtains shut close matching the rest of the flat. Paul slowly shook his head and went to your side to kneel next to you. You looked up to him and cried out again. They found out, and know he was going to yell at you. First, he was going to tell you off for not telling them and then he was going to fire you and they were all going to hate you and you won’t have friends or a job or a flat and you were going to die.

“yn?” Paul sweetly asked as he stroked your hair out of your face. You made eye contact with him, your lower lip quivering.

“Yes?” you asked.

“What’s wrong, love?” Ringo asked from behind you, you turned slightly and saw him standing next to Paul.

“N-nothing.” you lied looking down.

“Come on yn, you can tell us,” Paul assured you, he cupped your face gently making you look up to him. You sniffled and slowly sat up. The two boys sat on either side of you, you leaned on Paul's shoulder and his arm went around you. Ringo’s arm went around your shoulders and he leaned on you. 

“I’m so sorry please don’t fire me or hate me.” you cried out.

“F-fire you?” George stuttered, you hadn’t even heard him come in. He kneeled in front of you and John was standing awkwardly behind him.

“I’m so sorry,” you repeated as Paul rubbed your sides. 

“You don’t have to be.” John added, his voice sweet and low.

“What’s wrong?” George whispered looking into your eyes. You looked around at the four boys, you couldn’t lie to them.

“I-” you took a deep breath in. “I have depression.” you breathed out, there, it was out. “And my medication was taking long to get here and I just freaked because you guys would find out and fire and hate me because I’m too much-”

“yn.” Ringo said cutting off your ranting.

“Yes?” you turned your head to look at him, he smiled gently and shook his head.

“We could never fire you or hate you, how could we? We wouldn’t be able to function without you.” Paul said from your other side. You giggled slightly at his comment.

“yn yln, the backbone of The Beatles.” John announced with a fake posh tone. You laughed a little louder at his joke, the four boys joining in.

“Now, lets get you and this flat cleaned up and lets get your meds, okay?” you nodded and rubbed your nose slightly. 

These boys were all you care about.

tag list;

@thebeatleswritings  @beatlevmania  @i-love-queen-3000  @brians-metaphor26  @honimello  @maccafied  @julessworldd @lovemybrowneyedboy @storiesfrommirkwood  @beatles-babee  @geostarr @rockstarsandfilmstars @thiccjelly17 @crab-king-69  

#the beatles x reader #the beatles fluff #the beatles imagine #the beatles one shot #the beatles

[keepcalm-and-beyou]

Machine Gun Kelly(Colson Baker)

Telling Rook The News (PART2 being rooks ex & Pregnant with Kells baby):

Part 1 here

It sucks. All I could manage to think first thing this morning. Sitting on my bed feeling anxious repeating words in my head it sucks. It sucks I had to wake up, it sucks I am in this situation, it sucks I have to leave my house, it sucks I have to tell Rook. What doesn’t suck is Colson will be there with me to tell him. I honestly doubt I’d be able to do it my self but like Colson said he’d help with this former issue we called it but now simply it is our Baby, So he will be there for this dreadful conversation to come. I don’t want to hurt Rook but it’s not like we can hide it. Pretty classy I feel best friend of the boyfriend we’ll EX boyfriend. I’m hoping Colson takes charge on the topic while I try not to die of embarrassment and stress.

I definitely gotta try not to stress so much Colson is right it’s not good for the baby and first three months are most critical for miscarrying. I don’t want that to happen I may be freaked about the Rook part of the situation but other than that I’m happy I’ll be a mother with the most beautiful baby sense Colson is the father and how excited Casie will be just melts my heart. Casie will be the best big sister anyone could ask for, she’s so kind, helpful, independent and crazy smart for her age. Mine and Colson baby boy or girl can learn a lot from her as they grow.

Colson is such a great Dad no matter what the public sees of him in his party pictures and smoking dope. He truly is a great dad to his daughter and no doubt with our baby. I feel a little better now thinking of Casie and Colson it turns plenty stress into positivity.

It’s decently early doubt the boys have had breakfast or even coffee heck doubt any are awake right now knowing those crazy boys. But Colson better be up I don’t wanna show up having to wake Colson and Rook up. To be nice and ease the blow I shall pick up breakfast for everyone. So that’s what I’m doing as of now driving to Denny’s grabbing food and coffee. I decide to play the radio game while driving to the guys house. I ask the radio a question “how will today go?” I speak out loud. And turn the station to whatever hearing the song Everything Sucks playing. Oh how ironic. My nerves slightly climb back up as I near the guys house, I sigh as I stop my car in front of the house.

(Kells P.O.V)

I sat hands together alsmot like I was praying for this shit to go smooth. How the actual fuck will this go smooth though! If it was me dining this shit out what Rook is about to today I’d be flipping shit. I haven’t even slept much yo this all been keeping me up worrying about losing my bro and band mate, not like I can replace him so easily fuck.

I need to get high like right now I can’t deal with everything sober. Few puffs of my joint and I’m feeling better for now. I put out the roach of my joint in time to see Y/N outside looking like she grabbing some shit out her car. I hurried to the door basically running to her to help grab what apparently is take out food and oh fuck yes coffee. “Hey” she spoke slightly dragging it out. I broke a small smile at her “Hey yo thanks for bringing coffee girl” she shut her car door and said “of course how can I not die the coffee lover” she smiles.

Ah that smile is helping for sure with my nerves. We walked quietly into my house and straight for the kitchen where I sat down the food and drinks. “Is he up?” Y/N asked me speaking in a whispering tone clear as day nervous and looked around. “I don’t think so” i shrug. She let out a big fucking sigh and part of me hurt formher having to do this to deal with this but fuck what else we gonna do right. “Hey girl it’s going to be okay I gotchu” I told her and wrapped my arms around her shirt figure. It almost felt hella awkward until she put her arms around me to. I rested my chin on to her head for a moment then pulled away. “Let’s eat just us we’ll wake Rook after if we have to” i Nodded to the food starting to pull items out of the bags. “I don’t know if I can eat right now Kells” Y/N admitted. But I wasn’t gonna listen to that “yo you need to eat ain’t starving my kid” i whisper to her. “Your right I’m sorry I gotta focus on the whole me and baby’s health” she nodded at her own words. “And you unfortunately shouldn’t drink coffee” I spoke up in facts which I learnt many when Casie wasn’t born yet. Her eyes went wide it was adorable “aw just this last cup and I’ll switch to herbal teas” she chuckled. “Ight deal” I handed her a coffee.

“So as his best friend and band mate you should take the lead on telling him” she smiles widely to me. That girls smile gonna be the death of me. “Oh I see just throw me under the bus first” I laugh. And then take a bite of my food watching her do the same. “you said don’t stress and talking lots might meake me stressed” again she smiles at me. Fucking chick. “Yaya I gotcha girl, always will” I assured her taking her much smaller hand in mine.

We cleaned up our little mess and sat on one of the couches in the living room. “I guess we should wake him up” Y/N tells me. I turn my head to her “Wake who up me?” Rooks voice comes from behind us both our heads snap to him. “Hey dude morning” I greet him. “Morning. Hey Y/N what you doing here?” Rook asks her. “Just visiting I brought breakfast and coffee, go eat we’ll catch up when your done” Y/N tried her best to be cool I can see it in her eyes being this close to her on the couch she’s feeling freaked.

We all sat at the kitchen table Rook just finishing his food and sipping on his coffee. “Thanks for the food Y/N” Rook smiles to her. “It’s the least I could do” Y/N spoke softly to him. Then gave me a sad look. “So your here to visit me?” Rook asks her “and to talk” she adds quickly. “About what?” “Oh okay right um well I love you and care about you” Y/N starts off “why does it sound like your dumping me in front of Colson?” Rook looked worried and Y/N looked panicked. “Dude it’s kinda important I’m here for this convo” I told him. “Why bro what’s going on?”. “Please listen best as you can and calmly as you can to us” Y/N spoke up. “Okay what the fuck” he responds. “When we broke up” Y/N began but Rook cut her off “when we broke up what?!” He angrily asked looking between her and I. Y/N looked defeated and like she was going to cry. “Look dude I’m fucking sorry for this you know I care about her and you man, we got shitfaced like the whole fucking weekend and ya know shit happens” I told him. “What what shit happened?!” He demands and bits his bottom lip.

“Please clam down” Y/N says calmly and out her hand on his clenched fist. But he abruptly moves pushing her hand away aggressively. “Hey man clam down!” I told him strongly. “Just tell me what happened” Rook demands again. “I was upset and Kells was there for me like always he’s a good friend. Don’t forget that don’t forget his love for you no matter” Y/N tried to speak as calmly as she can like rooks a bomb gonna go off which I can see that happening. “No matter what?” He yells causing Y/N to jump frightened. “We hooked up when you broke up” I finally admitted to him.

Rook stands up enraged which makes Y/N stand fast moving to my side as rook now is coming closer to me. “Yo dude chill just hold up” I spoke hands up not wanting to fight my bro. But he swung and doing so I moved Y/N out of the way best I could. Lucky he missed but grabbed my shirt and swung again hitting me near my right eye. We bumped into Y/N knocking her over on to the floor. “Dude wait stop!” I shrieked. And helped y/n off the floor isntslty my hand hands on her face holding her head looking at her as if she was injured “you okay” i ask her worriedly. “Yes I’m fine” she assures me. “Awe look at the love birds” Rook snarks To us. “Dude I love you bro I’m sorry Kay like fuck y’all were broken up I’d never go there if that was the case” “that doesn’t make it much better” Rook says now less mad and sounding hurt. “Rook I’m sorry nothing was intended I know we were trying to work on us but that’s over and wasn’t going anywhere it seeemd and also the fact is to that I’m Pregnant” Y/n spoke moving closer to him.

Rook looked almost confused. “It’s mine if it wasn’t obvious man we having a baby, we are not a couple, we are focusing on Y/N and the babies health and needs” rook stood silent maybe in ducking shock. “And I’m not gonna lie I do have feelings for her dude always felt something so if by chance we also become in a relationship other than parents to our child, I hope you don’t hate me for it if it happens and hate me now for what is going on but I wish you wouldn’t bro fuck I need you man not only as a fucking awesome band mate but as my brother and future uncle to my kid yo ya know if you wanted to be” I rant out to my best friend.

“You guys should talk this through I’ll go I’m so sorry Rook, I wish you this best in love and life” Y/N said to rook with a weak smile. “No no stay I don’t care, I need time to like think about shit, like a part of me wanna say congrats on the baby yet that seems fucked yo cuz I’m hurt, I lose my girl or ex whatever fuck, I can see it now to though y/n was right us working through shit wasn’t going as it was suppose to. I just gotta get out this house” Rook shares with us and walks towards the stairs. “but bro you coming back right?” I ask in high hopes as he takes a step up the stairs Y/N standing beside me. “Yeah man I’ll be back later” and with that he was upstairs.

“That didn’t go to terrible” Y/N tires to sound positive and puts her hand on my shoulder. “Yeah I guess he could of really beat the fuck outta me if I let him and not stop” we both smile lightly to each other. “I think I should go to, let us all have alone time we need” she says to me. I grab her hand “What if I don’t want you to go?” I ask her more of a statement though. She shakes her head “no it’s what’s best trust me and I need a nap” she chuckles. “Okay only cuz a nap would do you both good” i smile at her not showing stomach. “You really are gonna be an amazing dad to our baby, heck Kells you already are” Y/N smiles big. That big beautiful smile. That smile that makes me wanna smile, the smile that will make me fucking do anything for her, and now I’ll do anything for our baby, our future family.

#machine gun kelly x reader #machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly #colson baker #colson baker imagine #colson baker x reader #pregnant reader x colson baker #rook #est19xx #imagine #preferences #love #relationship #love triangle

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Episode 17: Stranger Beside You

SPOILERS and thoughts ahead.

0:13 - How freaking creepy is this? She just pops up from the floor. Did Malcolm not see her there as he was approaching? Why didn’t he acknowledge her presence as he approached? ALSO - he’s excited about muffins? Does that mean muffins are one of the only foods he eats? I find this surprising. ALSO - last episode we learned that Malcolm can’t cook…why does he have a muffin tin? I know this is a dream but still.

0:45 - Ok. Story time. I watched this episode when it premiered. It was the first week I had moved home from university since the whole COVID-19 stuff. My younger brother (20) and my mom (45) who have never seen this show decided to watch it with me. Ugh. Our family dynamic is generally a lot of sarcasm and teasing. I’m the only one in the family interested in crime shows/whump. When Malcolm said “This is when the scary thing usually happens.” both of my family members started cackling like buffoons. For the next week my brother quoted that line to me. They both now tease me for loving this show so much…so that happened.

1:18 - This is kind of sweet. I don’t like Eve but I like seeing Malcolm this happy.

1:56 - This is such a good sibling conversation. Ainsley is setting Malcolm straight. I know Malcolm is right but honestly - Ainsley has a point. Malcolm has a tendency to accidentally sabotage his own relationships because he can’t trust people and he doesn’t believe that he’s worthy of love.

3:15 - Look at this. Just. Look. JT is happy to see Malcolm. They’re bantering like brothers. This relationship has blossomed and I’m so happy…also I google “sip and see” because I really wanted them to be fake. They sound ridiculous, but they’re real. IDK. I don’t have kids but it seems crazy to organize a big fancy party right after you give birth. Invite friends and family over - sure. Order a pizza and a cake. But hang out in something comfy and keep it casual. Maybe that’s just me. IDK.

3:42 - Malcolm’s projecting again. “Perfect can be an allusion.” Honestly. Is he even aware that he does this?! Also, is he projecting about his childhood or his relationship with Eve. Either way, I’m concerned for him….though I do like how happy he’s looking right now.

3:47 - hahaha OMG. “With the stiff!” Gil is so done.

4:30 - I thought this was interesting. 1) Do dead bodies actually do that? Compress? Huh. Cool. 2) I like the way that Edrisa and Malcolm are so totally absorbed in how cool/weird the cause of death was that neither of them notice Edrisa’s hand on Malcolm’s chest. 3) Gil pointing out Edrisa’s hand makes things a little awkward - but honestly I see it as a gentle warning. He knows that Edrisa is socially awkward. She’s not in trouble and he’s not mad. He’s just reminding her that stuff like that isn’t appropriate.

5:04 - Watching this after realizing that Tally is pregnant brings a whole new weight to all of JT’s comments. Every time he mentions babies, baby swag, moms - he looks either scared, stressed (because money), or excited. It’s freaking precious.

6:15 - “It’s a cloud of love. Nothing to be ashamed of.” Again. More proof that Malcolm is an A+ adult male. Who speaks like that?

7:05 - Do I need to be scared about Dani now too? I do not like the way that Martin says her name. Wait. Is Martin going to go after every person that takes Malcolm’s time away from visiting him? I can totally see it. Martin escaping - killing Gil for replacing him as Malcolm’s Dad. Killing Jessica for trying to keep Malcolm from him. Killing JT, Dani, and Edrisa for being his friends. Can’t decide if he’d kill Ainsley…

7:41 - HOW is this show so dark and yet so funny?!?!

8:20 - I know that Malcolm knows that Tally is pregnant…but after the pizza roll comment there’s no way Gil and Dani don’t suspect. Look at their faces!!! And the way JT looks down way too quickly. He’s clearly hiding something.

8:55 - Look at Gil’s face. He’s concerned and a little scared. I am too. What the hell does Malcolm mean by “Mom’s love me”?!?! Is this some weird sex thing?

9:05 - Dani is a queen. We stan. She is the friend Malcolm deserves. I especially love the fact that later we find out that she told JT about this conversation. As though she thought Malcolm needed “guy advice”.

10:00 - Yo. People like this shouldn’t be allowed to have children. Kids are not a fashion statement - they are human beings who need to be nurtured and loved.

11:10 - So, I don’t usually like it when Ainsley snoops around for a story and gets all determined - but this time I do.

12:00 -  Does Ainsley really not understand that what she did was a total invasion of privacy?!? She doesn’t look sorry. At all. The fact that Ainsley actually talks to Eve about it is kind of awful too? Like it’s one thing to do a background check on someone - it’s another thing to talk to them, unprovoked, about what you found. 

12:12 - Poor Jessica. She looks upset. Between her two “socially bizarre” children ( lol ) she really has a hard time making friends. Although…..I will admit. It’s a little weird that Jessica is making friends with a woman young enough to date her son. 

 12:32 - Soooo this means that Malcolm has an instagram account (at least a fake one for work anyways). I feel like Malcolm is one of the people who don’t have a personal instagram account. Because a) he has like 3 friends and b) he doesn’t strike me as the type of person to take pictures of food, people, events, or himself. 

 12:40 - So Malcolm’s sitting at that desk again…..forget about the gitb… I want to solve the desk mystery (and the mystery of JT’s name). 

12:57 - Damn it JT! We were about to get a super awesome father/son moment. Ugh. When I said I wanted the writers to give JT more screen time I didn’t mean this. 

13:13 - Aww…look at how proud Dani is of herself. Girl made a cool discovery and she’s proud/excited about it. <3 

13:22 - ARE YOU KIDDING ME. We finally get a good look at the desk from the front. No name plate in view?!? UGH. This is killing me. 

13:33 - hahaha look at these faces! JT looks confused/freaked out that Malcolm knows so much about babies feeding habits. Dani looks so annoyed that she’s been put on Malcolm babysitting duty again. I don’t blame her. Gil is always making her babysit Malcolm. JT never has to take a turn. 

 13:55 - The most annoying thing about this episode is that we never find out how Alessa cut her arm. It’s a weird place on your arm to get a cut and I’m curious about it. 

 14:35 - I respect Malcolm a LOT in this scene. He’s asking some tough (but necessary) questions. He’s calm, kind, and respectful. He’s not minimizing Alessa’s stress, her loss, or her devotion to her daughter.

16:30 - Soooo if Christine’s (ex) husband lives in Canada - does that mean he’s Canadian (or dual citizen)? Or does he just have a work permit? I’m curious about what that means for Christine’s citizen status. I find this odd though - even if Christine isn’t Canadian - if she was last seen in Canada and her husband reported her missing - the RCMP would’ve been looking for her. They NYPD would know that. Although - she is using a fake name. Huh. There’s a reason I’m not in law enforcement. People are too crafty. I’ll stick to math. 

 17:55 - Look how mad JT looks that Christine tried to abduct Nina….he’s going to be such an overprotective, good dad. <3 

18:25 - This is a really cool moment. This scene is the first since 1x9 when JT and Malcolm have a heart-to-heart. JT also gives Malcolm some really good relationship advice. Damn. No wonder JT’s been married for 7 years. He gets it. 

 18:55 - I love how manic Malcolm looks and how concerned JT looks when Malcolm goes off on his little rant about being a suspicious person. I wonder if JT is wondering why Malcolm trusts Gil, Dani, Edrisa, and himself? They are, by all means, good things in Malcolm’s life. Is he suspicious of them? 

19:25 - Does Martin know about Malcolm’s sensitive stomach? I’m really curious. 

 19:44 - This scene is awesome. Malcolm is sad, upset, a little anxious, and angry (at Martin) throughout the scene. Martin, even though he is a crazy serial killer, actually gives Malcolm some good relationship advice. I guess it makes sense. Martin could never have tricked Jessica into marrying him unless he acted like a perfect, good dude with good relationship skills. 

20:04 - Martin actually believes he was a perfect father? Nope. I can’t. Any parent who genuinely believes that should have a psych eval. No one is perfect. Parents aren’t excluded from this rule. 

 20:56 - This is such a powerful moment. You can see how pleased Martin is because he got through the Malcolm. You can see how desperately Malcolm wants to love his father and how painfully aware Malcolm is of who his father is and how much he despises it. Malcolm shouldn’t have to remind himself to hate his father. No one should. Watching Malcolm grapple with that (through his facial expressions) is heart-wrenching. He actually looks close to tears for a moment. ALSO screw Martin for still trying to manipulate Malcolm into loving him. 

 22:10 - I’ll just say it. We’re all thinking it anyways. Malcolm’s soft voice when he’s confused is so freaking cute. 

23:08 - Look at JT’s face during this scene. He just about had a freaking heart attack. I feel soooo bad for him. I can only imagine how bad he feels. Gil gave him one (1) job: protect the baby. JT’s probably thinking, “If I can’t even protect this stranger’s baby - how will I ever protect my baby? Will I be a bad father?” Someone give this man a hug for me.

23:25 - Look at the way JT touches the infant to make sure she’s real. That is a man who is on the verge of a panic attack. 

 24:00 - AND now JT is worrying about Tally’s health throughout her impending pregnancy. Good Lord. What a rollercoaster he’s on tonight.

25:25 - Concerned!Gil for the win! Gil hasn’t been around Malcolm much this episode. Yes - Malcolm is obviously upset right now, but it makes me wonder if Jessica and/or Ainsley have called Gil because they’re concerned about Malcolm right now. Did they call Gil and ask him to send Malcolm home? 

 26:25 - Look at that. Malcolm looks crushed. Not surprised just disappointed. He truly believes that he’s not worthy of love. Eve just confirmed it for him. I honestly don’t know how this dude will ever trust any romantic partner ever again. My heart is shattered. 

26:43 - Look at how brave he’s being. He’s trying to mask his pain with a smile and a self-deprecating joke as usual. Problem is - his eyes look tortured and he’s trying to lie to the two women who know him best. They see through his mask and they’re concerned for him. 

27:00 - Ainsley is such a strange character to me. Right now as she tells Malcolm about Eve, she is looking at Malcolm with dread, concern, and determination. In 1x7/1x10 she publicly embarrassed him and revealed his personal, private details with the world - without remorse. I know that Ainsley is really obsessed with the progression of her career. However, it shouldn’t blind her to the emotions of her big brother. Ainsley needs therapy. 

 27:08 - soooo Eve has a key to Malcolm’s place? After two(ish) weeks? For a dude who doesn’t trust easily this seems like a stretch. I’m choosing to believe that Malcolm left the door open when he saw Ainsley and Jessica. 

 27:15 - THIS is so important. Jessica’s “How could you?”. See her face? She’s devastated. The first female friend she’s had in probably 20 years just stabbed her in the back. To make matters worse, this woman also just broke the heart of Jessica’s very emotionally vulnerable son - thereby also breaking Jessica’s heart. Furthermore - Jessica is definitely already paying rent in the self-loathing hotel because she traumatized her children because she married a serial killer. NOW she’s also dealing with the guilt of knowing that she’s the one who brought Eve into Malcolm’s life. That look hurt or devastation on Jessica’s face which later transforms into rage and hatred is haunting. Props to Bellamy Young. 

27:26 - This. Look at Malcolm’s face. Eve looks like she’s close to tears. Malcolm is looking at her with compassion. Yes - you can tell that Malcolm is devastated and hurt by Eve. However, he also clearly empathizes with her. Again. Malcolm. Bright. Is. An. A+. Dude. Fight me.

27:40 - Can we all just pause for a second and praise Tom Payne’s acting in this scene? He captured the raw emotion of a trauma induced panic attack perfectly. Look at how utterly broken Malcolm is. Hands shaking on his head. Tears in his eyes. Ragged breathing. Followed by a brief angry outburst which leads to more shaky, anxious breathing and eyes on the verge of tears. The end result is physical and emotional exhaustion. 

 27:45 - Ainsley looks shocked and a little scared by Malcolm’s outburst. Has she (HIS SISTER) never seen him have a panic attack? They grew up together. I refuse to believe it. Ainsley shouldn’t look shocked - she should look sad and resigned to it. 

 28:06 - This is heartbreaking. Malcolm genuinely thinks that there is something about him that makes him unlovable. I know he’s already in therapy - but they need to stop focusing on his trauma for a hot second and focus on his self-worth issues. I aM nOt OkAy. 

 28:22 - Can we all just take a minute to appreciate Dani Powell. She has been such a good friend to Malcolm. Probably the first true friend Malcolm’s had since he was 10 years old. Even in the midst of extreme emotional turmoil a work-related text from Dani makes Malcolm smile. Because Malcolm knows that Dani  - a woman who isn’t related to him and has no obvious crush on him - doesn’t hate him. In fact - she likes him enough to be his friend. Right now that’s enough. That’s a big comfort to Malcolm. 

 28:36 - This is sheer panic on Jessica’s part. Check out those eyes. She just saw pure self-loathing and anger in her son’s eyes. She’s terrified for him. Maybe this look is reminding her of a look he got as a teenager when he became suicidal (it’s my headcanon that Malcolm had a period of active suicidal ideation as a teenager)? 

 28:40 - “I can’t solve this.” Is Malcolm referring to himself here? I mean - he clearly thinks that he is the problem; despite the fact that Eve came into his family’s life with the intention of getting information on his serial killing father. Ugh. His sad eyes and messy hair (that tends to indicate Malcolm is in severe emotional distress) is breaking my heart. 

 28:54 - Ok. So - who is this woman? How did Christine find her? Why did Christine go to her? It doesn’t look like a women’s shelter - it looks like a random lady’s residential home. 

 29:00 - Again. Let’s all praise Queen Dani. The bestest friend this dude has ever had.  She just goes out and asks him what’s wrong. She’s concerned about him BECAUSE she knows he’s upset about something.

29:20 - I love that Malcolm is comfortable enough around Dani to be honest with her about the really hard stuff in his life. Look at how sad Malcolm looks here. Look at Dani’s reaction. She isn’t judging him or pitying him. She isn’t pushing him to talk. She’s just supporting him. She’s a little shocked, a lot upset on his behalf, but mostly she’s just concerned. She’s being a good friend and I love her for it. 

 29:36 - Lucas is a scum. Anyone who abuses a spouse, child, or family member has a special spot reserved in hell. 

 29:52 - Look at Dani as Christine tells her story. She’s sympathetic, respectful, and concerned. Either this isn’t the first time Dani’s been around a battered woman on the job or Dani has personal experience with abuse. Maybe a friend/family member was abused? Hell - maybe Dani had an abusive boyfriend or something? 

30:20 - I really respect Malcolm in this scene. He knows that women who are fresh out of an abusive relationship (or still in one) with a male are weary of men. Usually, when Malcolm gets this type of information about a case he starts speaking quickly, loudly, and intensely. He starts gesturing a lot with his hands. IN THIS SCENE - Malcolm reigns himself in. He stays relatively calm and still as he speaks. He knows that his usual hand-gesturing and loud voice would terrify a woman who was just beaten by a man who was supposed to love her. This. Is. A. Good. Dude.

31:10 - Malcolm just shows Dani his cracked phone screen. I’m curious - does she ever ask about it? I’d like to hear that conversation. 

33:05 - I LOVE THIS. Gil is terrified for a) Malcolm but b) Alessa and Nina too. This is a side of Gil I’d like to see more often. ALSO notice that the second that JT realizes that Gil is suffering from a parental panic attack he floors it. JT is going to be a good Dad. <3 He knows how to love and he has a big heart. That’s the most important thing. 

 34:34 - Again. Malcolm is currently displaying empathy and sympathy for a murderer. This dude has the biggest heart in the world. 

35:45 - Alessa is a badass. Nina is a lucky little girl. 

36:04 - I love this scene. Gil looks so relieved that Malcolm is in one (mostly unharmed) piece. He’s so proud of Malcolm for keeping Alessa and Nina safe. I’m certain that Jessica and/or Ainsley called Gil about Malcolm’s panic attack which exacerbated Gil’s worry over Malcolm.

37:07 - THE SCENE. The scene. This scene is easily my favourite of the episode. I love watching JT and Malcolm’s friendship in real time. Look right here this is two guys chatting about how cool someone is. <3 Look at how happy and proud JT is of a woman he just met. I promise you he’s thinking about how awesome and badass of a mother his wife is going to be. 

 37:28 - JT’s scared face coupled with his softly spoken “Dude.” stops my heart. It’s as though talking to someone other than his wife makes the baby seem like more of a scary, real responsibility. You can tell that he’s excited but still terrified about fatherhood. He’s not quite ready to tell people yet. 

37:37 - “The thing’s the size of a peanut.” - I googled it: Tally is about 9 weeks pregnant. ALSO how freaking cute is it that JT is so excited about his unborn child that he knows how big it is. <3 I can just see him panic researching about pregnancy and caring for infants in the middle of the night while Tally sleeps. <3 

 37:44 - He doesn’t want to jinx it? Does that mean he and Tally have had trouble getting pregnant in the past? Miscarriages? Infertility? Or is JT just scared from everything he’s been researching about pregnancy? Either way - if Tally looses this child I will riot. 

37:50 - “You don’t do happy.” - Malcolm’s face twists into a look of hurt and sadness. He genuinely believes JT’s words - even though JT meant them as a joke. JT sees that too because he immediately starts teasing Bright. JT is concerned about Malcolm. 

38:39 - So Eve does have a key. Nope. Not cool. Not in-line with Malcolm’s trust issues. I refuse to believe it. 

 39:11 - I hate watching Malcolm be this sad. Look at his nose. It’s just a little red - he’s been crying. His fragile ability to trust has been shattered again and Eve’s apology is quite honestly not very good. 

39:45 - Can we all just pause on Malcolm’s shirt? It looks like the orange sweater Gil wore in 1x13. Did they go shopping together? Did Malcolm buy the shirt because it reminded him of Gil? Does he only wear it when he feels sad because the fact that it reminds him of Gil comforts him

40:35 - What’s the story of Eve’s Dad? What’s his deal? 

41:40 - I’m really proud of Malcolm for being brave enough to face the truth and have this really difficult conversation with Eve. 

43:09 - Ok. I’ll say it. Malcolm is too nice. This woman shattered his heart last night and now he’s hugging her? Bro - you don’t have to do that. You’re allowed to be upset. You’re letting her walk all over you. 

Thanks for hanging out Prodigies. 

#prodigal son #jess-rewatches-prodigal #malcolm bright #whitly #ainsley whitly #jessica whitly #martin whitly #gil arroyo #jt tarmel #edrisa tanaka #dani powell #this show is almost perfect #i love this show #whump #malcolm needs a hug #so good #rewatch #spoilers #ps #stranger beside you #1x17 #e:17 #s1

[jeremiahgrey]

JEREMIAH GREY ##STATS&BIO

Basic Information

Full Name: jeremiah grey

Nickname(s): jay

Age: twenty-four

Date of Birth: march 23, 1995

Zodiac Sign: aries

Hometown: las vegas, nevada

Current Location: san francisco, california

Ethnicity: his mother is caucasian, his father is african american

Nationality: american

Gender: cis male

Pronouns: he/him

Orientation: heterosexual

Physical Appearance

Face Claim: justice smith

Hair Colour: dark brown

Eye Colour: dark brown

Height: 5′10″ (178 cm)

Weight: 149 lbs (68 kg)

Health

Physical Ailments: none

Neurological Conditions: borderline personality disorder

Allergies: none

Sleeping Habits: varies, depending on level of anxiety/current state of mind.

Eating Habits: varies. tends to snack frequently, rather than eat large meals.

Exercise Habits: goes for a run 1-2 times a day.

Emotional Stability: it varies, but overall about a 5 or 6.

Sociability: likes to be alone, or in the company of 1-5 other people. but he doesn’t fear public places or crowds and doesn’t have social anxiety (typically). just a preference.

Addictions: cigarettes, usually stress related.

Drug Use: none that he consumes habitually. he’s experimented with psychedelics and marijuana, but it’s just a once in while type thing.

Alcohol Use: about once or twice a week on average.

Personality

Positive Traits: adaptable, adventurous, amusing, charming, determined, quick witted, resourceful, tough

Negative Traits: detached, finicky, moody, obsessive, quick tempered, stubborn, unstable

Hobbies: swimming, running, conspiracy theories, hiking, visiting abandoned towns/buildings & old cemeteries, people watching

Habits: smoking, whistling, biting the skin around his nails, fiddling with objects or his clothing, tapping his foot

BIO:

TRIGGER WARNINGS: CHILDHOOD ABUSE, SELF HARM & SUICIDE IS BRIEFLY MENTIONED, MENTAL HEALTH

Jeremiah grew up in Las Vegas

His father left him and his mother when Jeremiah was 12. He had been verbally and physically abusive to both of them up until his departure.

The trauma stuck with Jeremiah and later led to him being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder

When he was in middle school he would have “episodes” of social and mental withdrawal. They would last a few hours typically, and without the clinical resources to diagnose it, he would always refer to it as being “trapped in himself”

Being trapped meant he was disassociating. He would basically just “blank out.” An inability to focus on one thing, just racing thoughts that he couldn’t keep track of or characterize. Often times he would have to physically escape as well, isolating from other people. A lot of the time he had urges to self harm, or even suicidal fantasies.

His personality for the most part was bubbly and charismatic, he was adventurous and always starting a new hobby or interest. And then he would become “trapped” in his mind.

His inability to characterize his mental illness, and his childhood trauma, culminated in a short temper.

He was suspended from school in his junior year for getting into a fist fight. He was sent to mandatory counseling sessions, where he was formally diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder.

For a few years he faded in and out, never quite having a quick fix or remedy when he felt trapped or angry. And he refused medication, or any forms of continued therapy.

His senior year of school he just couldn’t put up with it anymore. The bouts of aggression, being labelled a freak, the lost sense of loneliness that accompanied being “trapped.”

Every time he’d have an “episode” he would journal. An attempt at collecting and manifesting the racing thoughts. He would smoke a cigarette, hold his breath, count to ten, and write everything he possibly could. Then he would go for a run.

It worked, at least a little bit. It made him feel more in control. A way to cope. And whenever he feels it coming on, he has to get away, and chase that ability of control. He doesn’t always have to write, but he needs to do something. Go to the top of a building and yell his thoughts, or to a creek to throw rocks and count out his feelings. It’s not a one hundred percent fix, and he still has outbursts that mimic rage. But he can clench his fists and disappear and try to deal with it.

He moved to San Francisco when he was twenty one. Just to get out on his own, face the world. His mom had a new boyfriend, someone better than his father. And he felt okay leaving her, finding himself.

Today he’s still the same guy with borderline personality disorder, but it’s not a ghost that unwittingly haunts him. He just lets it happen, redefines it. Yeah, a bit unstable, but he doesn’t fear it anymore. Of course, he still has the traumatic threads of his pasts that still weave into his character from time to time. But he feels more free than he’s ever felt before. He has an apartment, and a job, and a different outlook on his mental health. It doesn’t feel like he’s trapped anymore, it’s just a burst of  inward thinking that he can channel into something recognizable and bearable.

Jeremiah works as a delivery guy for the businesses on Carroway Street.

FAST FACTS / HEADCANONS / PERSONALITY:

Goofy and lovable, unless he’s in a “mood.” Sometimes he may seem a bit odd or scatter-brained, jumping from topic to topic in conversation.

Likes memorizing random facts, and sprinkles them in when talking to people. He doesn’t naturally have a very good memory, so he tries to purposefully improve on that.

Often comes up with nicknames for people.

Sometimes he’ll just say some cryptic, vague shit. Something ominous or nonsensical. This is just him thinking out loud usually.

The way he interacts with people is usually pretty vibe based. If someones a dick, he’s a dick. If someones acting tough, he’ll probably try to get under their skin or irritate them a bit. He’s not afraid to say what’s on his mind, and usually the thought of “filtering” himself isn’t even present. It doesn’t feel controversial to him to say some of the things he says. He doesn’t think of himself as bold or brash, but he’s come to learn over his entire lifetime that it’s the reason he’s so often branded as a freak or a weirdo.

ALSO just because he doesn’t “filter” himself in conversations, doesn’t automatically mean he’s an asshole, or saying rude things constantly. A lot of the times he will say stupidly sweet things that the average person would find cringy or awkward to say to another human being so brazenly.

He’s also pretty good at reading people, just he’s not very good at acting accordingly and appropriately?? I guess? Like he can pick up on vibes, but that probably won’t change the fact that he’s gonna say what he’s going to say. 

And lastly (I promise this is the end and I’m sorry this got rambly oops) he’s kind of stubborn and can be bossy, like once he gets something in his head like THAT’S IT, he’s doing it and he wants you to do it. And you can call him bull-headed or balky but he’s just going to insist he’s passionate and determined. And it’s probably annoying to the people around him but he doesn’t really care honestly he’ll probably just rant and rave and somehow convince whoever he’s with because he has a sort of cheeky charm about him. but also he’s a pain in the ass sometimes i guess.

PLAYLIST:

coming soon

WANTED PLOTS/CONNECTIONS:

any of these can be platonic or romantic, depending on how we develop them!!!

a friend that he can just “shoot the shit” with. someone who will go on little adventures with and sit in the woods with or sit on the beach with and listen to music. they never pry about his mood swings and they give him space and stuff?

someone who works at jukebox records and doesn’t mind when he loiters around all day and recommends music to him, and sometimes they’ll sit at one of the listening booth things at the store and listen to each others recommendations together.

a drinking/karaoke buddy

someone he met when he first moved to san fran (3 years ago), and maybe he’s told them about his past and his mental illness and his coping mechanisms and they’re good at recognizing the signs and they kinda help him out and let him vent and they’re just supportive and understanding. but also respect when he just needs to be alone or escape, but checks up on him cause < 3 < 3

a neighbor (in his apartment, and im assuming he lives in the calloway apartments i guess) but they started off as enemies kinda? like maybe one of them would blast music and then the other would bang on the walls and be mad and leave little passive aggressive notes telling them to stop being annoying. but maybe the loud music stopped or something?? and then the other person was like “whoa are they okay?” so then they started leaving notes that were caring and supportive and maybe little gifts or knick knacks or food for them, or little scavenger hunts, and then they just kinda started hanging out one day. IDK, this can be discussed more in depth/particular in dm’s i guess. this would be cutesy i feel!!!

an ex girlfriend or ex fwb. but it didn’t work out because they couldn’t really deal with jeremiah’s mood swings or his need to disappear sometimes, and how vague he would be about it. or maybe they suggested he should go to therapy or a support group, and since he is such a stubborn little pain in the butt he just became distant and felt judged and went cold on them. maybe there’s still some lingering feelings there, either positive or negative. we can discuss the particulars in dm!!!

someone with mental health issues, that he met at a support group when he first came to san fran. but jeremiah stopped attending the meetings after only a few. this relationship could be a lot of different things! maybe it’s hostile/confrontational, because they have differing viewpoints on how to treat mental illness. it could be supportive. or maybe it’s like a secret?? like maybe this other person was at the support group for reasons that they’ve never told anyone, and like, jeremiah can be their trusted friend or confidante.

NOTE: if there are any connections that aren’t mentioned here, but you feel like would really suit my muse, please feel free to message me!!!!!! with anything!!!!!!!

#info #jukeboxintro

[nomanitas]

Its 2 am and I just really need to rant about some personal stuff and I just need to get it out somewhere so it will be under the read more. (Contains talk about wisdom teeth and gums as well as heart issues)

It’s been one thing after another since November and I’m sick and tired of it. I’m at a new job that I love, but I keep having all these health related things that keep happening and I can’t seem to catch a break. (And I’m aware that some of it is because of my own health decisions, I don’t exercise and my diet is shit).

So, my wisdom teeth have been an issue for the last couple of years. All four are in but my bottom 2 are the problem especially my bottom right where I had a flap of gum/skin covering the tooth slightly so food gets easily stuck back there. In November, I got sick a few days before Thanksgiving (this was right after I started my new job the week before). Not only was I sick, but then the flap of skin/gum covering my wisdom tooth got so inflamed (whether it was from a piece of food or because I was sick, I don’t know it was probably both) that I was basically biting down on it every time I chewed or bit down. It was so fucking painful. So I went to the dentist and they removed that flap and so for the next few days (Thanksgiving break) my mouth hurt a lot and I was living off of applesauce and yogurt and sometimes toast. It got better for a while.

Then after that I developed a bad skin irritation around my ankle from using wet cotton socks with wool socks (its something I’ve done since I was a kid whenever I’m sick. You get the socks wet with hot water and the put wool socks over them and drains the toxins). Anyway it irritated my skin so badly and I was constantly scratching at it, I’m still dealing with it now, but it’s a lot better.

Then in December over winter break I got pink eye while out of town over a weekend. This was more annoying then anything. But right after that it was christmas and I got sick again.

In January, shortly after returning back to work after break I started developing what I would l later be told is dyshydrosis (sp?) or water eczema on my hands. Its itchy and annoying and I’m still dealing with it, but I’ve almost made my peace with it.

Near the end of February I started noticing that when I would lay down to go to sleep I could hear and feel my heart beating and I had never really noticed it before. And it freaked me out and I couldn’t sleep. I only really noticed it at night but it felt like my heart was beating really fast. A week later I could feel it during the day at work and I called a nurse consulting line. Basically its hear palpitations. I mostly get it a night, but sometimes during the day. But it makes it hard to sleep. I went to the doctor and they did some tests and said everything looked normal.

In march I went on vacation with my family and I was still having trouble at night. Also the starting of school closures and sports postponing was happening as we were heading home. So I haven’t been working since and I’m already dealing with anxiety but add the coronavirus and my heart thing and I’m a mess.

Which leads me to now. I’m using a heart monitor for two weeks so my doctor can see if something is actually wrong. I mean it could be my anxiety making it worse. But to top it all off I’m having wisdom teeth issues again. Yesterday, I noticed that my gum was inflamed around there again, I’m not biting down on it which is good, but it still hurts and is uncomfortable. So that’s not helping. And then today I get a text from my dentist saying they are closing the office until may 18th. I had two appointments this month for a deep cleaning and I have my wisdom teeth removal appointment on the 21st. But now I don’t know if that’s going to be able to happen. If I’ll have to reschedule since it’s essentially an elective surgery, but I’m also in pain. I just want them out so badly, even thought I’m anxious and nervous about the procedure and for after the procedure and the pain I’ll be in.

Essentially, it’s been one thing after another and my anxiety can’t take it anymore and I’m so tired of all these things piling on. One things goes away and something else happens. I haven’t had a break since November.

Anyway, I just needed to get that out. So if you’re read this all the way through thanks. Sorry it was so long.

#selena rambles #please don't reblog #thanks if you read all this #i don't know if this is coherent or not #personal

[cindytingle-blog]

silk | spiderman.

two

summary: wouldn't everyone like to be taken in by THE tony stark? i mean, you get to hang out with the freaking avengers everyday right?

cindy moon begs to differ.

word count: 2,035

A/N: sorry it lowkey sucks, im not the best at writing fight scenes to be honest

–

"ELLA CAN WE go?" I groaned as I laid there on the bleachers, back against the cold metal as I watched her doing sprints across the track field. "If I don't get food in my stomach in the next twenty minutes, I will kill you."

She stops running in front of the bleachers, hands on her hips as she caught her breath.

"You're talking to the girl who eats like 2,000 calories in one sitting," she breathes out, letting out a breathy chuckle afterwards. I rolled my eyes as I sat up, fixing my hair as I did so.

"You've been running out here for like an hour and a half now, I literally finished my homework forty-five minutes ago. You should be tired," I complained as I stood up, grabbing her water bottle from her bag before tossing it over to her. "You don't wanna get a heat stroke do you?"

"Relax, I'm not gonna get a heat stroke," she assured as she took a big sip from her water. "Just five more minutes."

"And after five minutes you'll only have fifteen minutes to get food in my stomach before I murder you," I replied, groaning as I sat back down.

"I can work with that."

I once again watched as she practiced her sprinting drills, literally flying across the track. Meanwhile, I pulled out my phone from my pocket and scrolled through social media. I scrolled past the numerous posts about Iron Man and the Avengers, not interested in reading them at the moment.

I ended up finding a photo of Ned and Peter, posted on Ned's account, which showed them posing with a Lego tower. I snickered, scrolling past it before I see a pair of sneakers in front of me.

"You ready to go?" I looked up to see Ella standing there, a sweat towel pressed to her forehead before she let it drop on her shoulder.

"Finally," I groaned, grabbing my backpack before we walked down the bleachers, heading for downtown.

We walked into the cafe, quickly ordering before sitting down at our usual table by the window.

"You're lucky you got all that money, you buy like five hundred sandwiches," I laughed as we got situated.

"Listen, when you're a true athlete like me, you get hungry a lot," she explained as she grabbed her phone. "Whether it's protein or not."

I mean, I swing on webs and fight criminals after school, isn't that sort of the same?

"Yeah, okay," I chuckled as we hopped onto our phones.

"Did you see Liz's new hairstyle?" She questioned, which I replied with shaking my head. She pushed her phone into my face, showing me the picture of the senior girl Liz, posing in a picture with her best friend Betty, her hair now straighter with a slight wave.

"It looks good on her," I replied, not really caring about it that much. I zoned out right when Ella went on a rant about something irrelevant as I looked at my phone to see that the attempted robbery yesterday was actually on the news.

'He just pointed a gun at my head,' the cashier of the small convenience story, Emma Ferguson, explained. 'He forced me to give him the money from the cash register, and obviously I was like scared for my life so I did it. But then this like, superhero girl thing came and beat the crap out of him, it was crazy! She quickly bought something before running out of the store quickly'

"Oh god," I groaned under my breath, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Something wrong?" Ella questioned, trying to lean over the table to see what I was looking at. I was quick to shake my head, playing if off as nothing.

"It's nothing, just really hungry," I replied as I continued to read the article.

'Could you describe the girl's appearance?' We asked Ferguson.

'Well, she looked kind of young, but that's just from judging by her face above her nose. She wore a red mask thing on her nose which covered everything below it, and her suit it was like some sort of black, white, and red spandex suit,' Ferguson explained. 'The arms and legs were black meanwhile the torso part was white with a red like webbing pattern.'

My thoughts were interrupted by the employee setting our food down in front of us.

"There you go," he spoke, shooting a friendly smile down at us. "Is there anything I can grab you guys?"

"Nope, I think we're good," Ella replied, sending the guy off before she began stuffing her face once again. I sighed, locking my phone before placing it on the table besides my plate. "What were you so focused on?"

I looked up at her, sending her a questioning look.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what were you looking at on your phone?" She questioned through a full mouth. "You were like glaring down at it, was kinda creepy."

I rose my shoulders up in a shrug as I took a bite from my sandwich.

"Just reading something I found," I replied simply, hoping she would drop the subject. Fortunately, she just shrugged her shoulders and continued eating.

"So Cindy," she spoke up, dropping her third sandwich onto her plate. "What'd you get for number nine on our biology homework?"

I raised an eyebrow at her, shaking my head disappointedly.

"I thought we talked about this Ella," I sighed. "No more copying off my homework."

"But Cindy-"

"No buts Ella, do your own homework," I rolled my eyes, finally finishing my food. She groaned, throwing her head down as she stomped her feet.

"Come on!" She whined, grabbing my arm. "Please just one more time?"

"I thought I told you no," I scoffed, ripping my arm out from her grip. She pouted once again, crossing her arms as she leaned back in her chair.

"You just aren't being fair right now," she mumbled, eating the rest of her third sandwich.

"I'm being fa- are you being serious?" My eyes widened as I stared at her, watching her every movement.

"Yes, you aren't being fair," she stuck her tongue out afterwards as she took a bite from her pickle.

"Whatever."

___________________

After finishing up at the cafe, we began our walk to Ella's house, which thankfully wasn't very far at all.

"You don't think your foster mother will actually kill you right?" She questioned as she played with the straps of her backpack. I chuckled, elbowing her.

"I'll just have to run off before she can."

We both laughed, but it ended almost as soon as it started.

"Down on the ground!"

Our heads both snapped to our right to see a woman on the ground, her face pressed against the concrete while a man holding long, unusual looking gun pressed the gun to her temple.

"Holy shit," Ella muttered before grabbing my wrist. "Cindy, we have to go. Come on!"

She tried to drag me away, but while running I slipped away, digging into my backpack as I ran into an alleyway. I quickly stripped out of my clothes, changing into my suit before hiding my backpack under the dumpster. I pulled my mask on before running out from the alleyway, approaching the man and woman.

"Hey buddy!" I yelled to grab their attention, the man's eyes turning upwards to me.

"Who the hell are you?" He questioned, keeping his foot on the woman's head as he pointed his gun at me.

"I'm literally about to kick your ass, don't think my identity is really important right now," I spoke. He glared before firing a bullet, which I was quick to dodge before I shot a web towards his wrist, twisting it which caused him to yelp in pain and let go of the gun.

"For a criminal, you're kind of a dumbass," I commented before running towards him, swiping his feet out from under him. He grunted but got up back onto his feet, quickly going for his gun.

He began firing numerous bullets, which I jumped out of the way every bullet he shot before shooting another web, grabbing the gun from him.

"What the hell?" He yelled as the woman scrambled up, running away from the scene. Running up towards him, I swung the gun to his head, which seemed to have knocked him out of consciousness. I chuckled before spinning a web around his body, completely trapping him. "That was just too easy, I swear."

I pulled him up, shooting a web onto his mouth as well just to prevent hearing his voice if he were to wake up before we got to the police station. I quickly threw him over my shoulder before beginning to walk away from the scene.

As I walked, I was quick to notice that multiple people had been videoing the whole thing.

"Great," I mumbled under my breath, breaking out into a sprint towards the police station.

Quickly running inside, I toss the man over to the first cop I saw.

"Bad guy, tried to shoot me and someone else!" I informed before quickly running out of the station, back towards the alleyway where I left my backpack. "Oh, ew."

Cautiously going onto my knees, I dragged my backpack out from under the dumpster before quickly changing back into my regular clothes.

"Gross," I complained from touching the dirty dumpster, grabbing my hand sanitizer before squeezing some onto my hands and rubbing them together. "I really need to hide my backpack somewhere that's not a health hazard."

I sprinted across the street as I searched for Ella, only for her to not be found. Quickly grabbing my phone from my backpack, I was quick to notice all the missed calls from Ella. I sighed as I pressed the call button.

"Hel-"

"Cindy Moon, where the hell are you?" Her voice screeched into my ear, causing me to hold the phone away from my ear.

"Jesus Ella! You don't have to scream!" I grunted, shaking my head.

"Oh I'm sorry that I'm worried for your ass! You just disappeared while someone was about to get murdered right in front of us!" She yelled, panting afterwards. "Tell me where you are!"

"I'm like three blocks away from where they were," I mumbled, pressing my back against the building beside me.

"You're three blocks-" she scoffed. "Just stay there, I'll be there in a few minutes."

She hung up, causing me to let out a sigh of relief.

She was gonna kill me.

_____________________

"Olivia, I'm home!" I announced as I walked through the door.

"Cindy!"

The hair on the back of my neck stood straight up, causing me to quickly look to my left and catch the football before it could smack me in the face.

"Charlie what have I told you about this?" I scolded, throwing the football back. "Stop throwing balls at me when I get home."

He stuck his tongue out tauntingly, causing me to roll my eyes before heading towards the stairs. Before I could head up the staircase, the news quickly caught my attention.

"Witnesses say the masked figure was spider-like, shooting webs out from her fingers before tying the shooter up with the webs."

My eyes widened as a video played of me, fighting the man from earlier.

"Shit," I muttered.

"She looks so cool," I looked over to Charlie whom's eyes were glued to the television. "Wish I could shoot webs from my fingers. Pew!"

He then pretended to shoot webs at me, causing me roll my eyes before running up the stairs and into my room. I shut the door quickly, throwing my backpack down on the floor next to my bed before slipping my shoes off and throwing myself onto my bed.

I looked over to my open backpack to see my suit peeking out from the side. I sighed, turning onto my side as I stared at it.

If only I wasn't bitten by that stupid spider, I wouldn't have to risk my life everyday like this.

But I had no choice, I had to have gotten these powers for a reason.

#marvel #marvel fan fiction #spiderman #peter parker #tony stark #iron man #captain america #steve rogers #silk #cindy moon #guardians of the galaxy #bucky barnes #wanda maximoff #sam wilson #falcon #fan fiction #quill #antman #scott lang #ned #natasha romanoff #black widow #black panther #wakanda #shuri #gamora #mantis #drax #groot #rocket

[lostxsea]

Rant time (you can ignore)

Alright I would say sorry for ranting but let’s be realistic here, I rant all the fucking time so why would today be any different? 

This is the only place i can rant because my roommate is asleep. 

So let’s start off with Thursday shall we! 

-woke up kind of not feeling well, little spacey and hard to concentrate -try to read It struggles, struggles to watch tv, struggles to read over homework  -goes to hell class (2.0 and 1.0)  -writing for 1 hour straight (sucked but alright) -i have that lovely gift of the month and that day decided to be the fuck you day  -go over essay in Hell Class -get essay in Hell Class  -due to grammar got a D+ strictly due to grammar (I’m sorry are you the grammar police. i’m not kidding but i got dinged for having my ellipses like this ... rather than . . . and the fact i repeated a word three times on a page and that i didn’t use an ellipses at the beginning of my quotes (i was never taught that and it wasn’t even on the grammar sheet!)) -on walk home something falls miraculously from the sky: no not money and no not a miracle a straight up plop of dirt you know the only thing that would have made it worse is if it was poop -goes home and cries/panics (you know all fun things) -leaves to go to a 2 hour event for class (wow so interesting tell me more - almost fall asleep and has a headache (yay weird eye head migraine problem) -finally gets home and can eat dinner! throws on some Mac And Cheese (my Thursday hell day consolation prize) and demudify my hair.  -it’s not 9:30 at night. i’m clean, in pj’s, ready for Dance Moms and Mac and Cheese -i open the container and blam! solid powder. I pour it in praying to God and all the Gods to make the solid a powder -BUT NOPE. Even my roommate tried to muscle it but even she couldn’t fix it.  -SO it’s 9:40 at night. I’m starving and tired and just done with the day and in my PJ’s. My roommate is like let’s go get you some food because at this point i’m like i’ll just starve who needs food! -We run to Chipotle because it closes at 10 and i get my food yay but they don’t have CHIPS. I got a bowl so i could eat it with chips.  -So we run to Rite Aid. No chips. So i got to another Rite Aid and yay! chips! -Finally get back to the apartment and eat and watch the Prestige (my fave movie) -Then I saw i had a white spot on my tonsils and PANICed (also anxious and embarrassed about it) -Then FRIDAY, i wake up go to class go to student health center (just got a virus so nothing to worry about) go to a thing for class, go home, make food for work the next day, sleep  -Then SATURDAY, I worked for 8 hours and then shopped at Target, ate dinner, watched two movies and tried to do homework, slept -Then SUNDAY, i worked for five hours, shopped at another store, ate dinner, went back to school, unpacked, and did homework and watched Dance Moms with my roomie -Then today MONDAY, I go to class. It’s a good class so yay!  -Go to get help to understand grammar mistakes and feel a little better because like I was told that it’s my writing style and it’s breaking some grammar but it doesn’t break necessary grammar.  - BUT THEN i get home and maintenance unplugged the freaking fridge so like luckily my neighbors are practically my roommates and i could throw my BRAND NEW BAG OF CHICKEN (why is chicken so expensive) and my EXPENSIVE mickey ice cream bars in their freezer so that they weren’t ruined. I’m a broke college kid who doesn’t want to have to spend 30$ replacing them.  -and then i got all mad and then i feel bad for being mad and panicked 

#ugh #i'm done #please ignore #i'm at the point where it's fucking hilarious to me #but at the point in time when i started writing this I WAS LIVID #now i feel bad #not maintenance's fault but like ugh #im an anxious hot mess

[zicosmullet]

Bathing with Zico

- Part 7/7 of my Bathing with Block B Imagines.

- Warnings: Some NSFW stuff

- Notes: FINALLY finished this SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG. It’s difficult for me to write for my own bias asdfghjkl,,,,So I apologize in advance for this one!! I just got a bout of inspiration tonight after Zico’s US tour dates were announced. Oof,,,I hope I can see him perform live. <3333

We all know how hard Zico works and just how much he pushes his body to extremes when working, sometimes without even realizing it.

So a bath is EXACTLY what he needs.

But of course, he believes he DOESN’T need one.

When he’s seriously working on something, you know it's best to give him space. But you can’t help worrying about him and his health at the same time. So you mostly just check on him occasionally, sometimes bringing him food and drinks. Sometimes he’s grateful for them, and other times he’s completely absorbed in his work and says nothing.

When he gets REALLY fed up with something while working, he freaks out to himself for awhile before finally coming to you to complain about it. You can’t always give exact advice since you’re no expert on the music industry, but you’re always there to listen and help him calm down, offering whatever advice you can.

Even if he's ranting, you feel grateful for this time, because he rarely lets his walls completely down in front of other people so as to maintain his public image. But when he’s with you, he doesn’t have to worry about that. He can be himself and you feel so lucky that you get to experience this side of him.

So one day while he’s complaining to you about being stumped on a piece that he’s working on, you can tell that what he really needs is a break. He’s exhausted and frustrated at himself but doesn’t want to admit it. But you know what he really needs to do is just step back and collect his thoughts for a moment. Inspiration strikes at the most random times and he’s been working so hard lately that he’s probably used up all of his creative energy.

PLUS when was the last time that he properly bathed?? He could probably use a good soak lol.

So with MUCH persuasion, you finally get him into the tub. You can tell he’s annoyed because he doesn’t think he needs or deserves such an extensive break. But he can also tell that you're very adamant about this and he doesn’t want to fight about it for very long. So he gets in the bath you've drawn for him.

And WOW does it feel good like it’s been so long since he'd had a bath, the pleasant surprise really shows on his face.

Most of the time he just takes showers but this bath was much needed.

And you're just standing in the bathroom smiling because you KNEW this would help him, PLUS wow,,,he’s so beautiful,,,,his bare body,,,,and his tattoos,,,,and all this water and steam,,,,

He’s so ethereal,,,,God you're so lucky,,,,

But you don't stand there for too long because you want to give him some peace and quiet so he can relax and recollect his thoughts.

It's almost comical how fast this bath shut him up since he was complaining only minutes earlier. Again, not that you minded, but it was rather that the power of the tub was just so amusing to you.

While lying there with his eyes closed, Zico looks practically exhausted, so you make sure to casually check on him a few times to be sure he doesn't drown in case he happens to doze off, which he does ofc, but who could blame him with his horrendous sleep schedule and tendencies to overwork himself.

It's rlly cute,,,,because he looks so young for some reason like this,,,,with his mouth hanging open ever so slightly. It's TOO soft. Most people might see your man as scary or intimidating, but that's because none of them have ever seen your man when he’s like this.

Life OFC he’s sexy and stuff too, but that's just one side of him.

Anyways you decide to give him some space so he can properly relax. You go off to do your own thing while still discreetly checking up on him from time to time until you FINALLY hear him getting out of the bath.

Part of you wants to go coddle him since he's been having a rough night, but you ultimately decide to wait until he comes to you, leaving you to eagerly wait in the living room. Your heartbeat quickens at the thought of him coming into the living room in a moment and just laying his head in your lap while you pet his hair.

Like GEEZ you've been dating for a pretty long time at this point but you can't help it,,,,you just love him so much.

HOWEVER, you feel your heart practically plummet when you hear him exit the bathroom in the opposite direction, probably to get right back to work. You don't blame him of course, you know how important this is to him, but you can't help wanting to spend time with him too. At least he HOPEFULLY got some kind of inspiration out of this.

In the midst of it all, you end up falling asleep on the couch which COMPLETELY throws off your schedule for the next day. You end up waking up late and have to scramble to get ready for work on time, not to mention how you have an awful kink in your neck from sleeping in a weird position which makes getting ready ten times more annoying. And having your morning schedule thrown off just ALWAYS ends up muddling the rest of your day as well. Work seems to practically drag by and you can't seem to really get anything done right. You want nothing more than to get home and immediately crawl under the covers (in your actual bed this time).

So that's EXACTLY what you plan on doing as soon as you FINALLY make it home.

That is, until a certain someone sneaks up behind you and snakes his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder just as you were in the process of changing out of your work clothes.

“Oh, hey babe" you manage to say, trailing off a bit. You REALLY hoped your tone didn't make it sound like you were mad at him, because you weren't, you were just exhausted.

Regardless, he tightened his embrace in response.

“Baby…” he started, “I have a confession to make…”

WHICH just has you all “!?!?!?!?!?”

LIKE WHAT he could mean a thousand different things by that!?!?!?!?!?

You want to say something witty back so you don’t fear the worst, but you’re still too drained from work, so you stay silent until he starts to speak again.

“When I was in the tub yesterday...ughh this sounds so cheesy but...I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I know I can be difficult to put up with sometimes, but you always do. And you always know what's right for me, despite how stubborn I can be.” unexpectedly, he gives a slight laugh “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I really am pretty in love you.”

And hearing that makes your heart skip a beat. Because you never doubted his love before or anything, but hearing it out loud really makes all the difference. Your smile stretches so wide as you twist in his arms so you can connect your lips with his, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck.

When you separate, his expression looks a little concerned and you realize that you’ve actually started crying a bit. All your built up stress from the day was finally releasing itself. But you can’t help but chuckle a bit at how panicky Zico looks as he reaches to cup your face and brush away some of your tears. He really does care for you deeply.

He probably says something like “Hey, hey” in a hushed tone to make sure that you’re actually okay and not mad at him or something.

So you kinda decide to change the subject a bit by saying “Well, I hope you were at least able gain some inspiration after that bath.”

And his expression gets a little cocky as he says “I told you I couldn’t stop thinking about you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah??”

“Babe, you know you're my inspiration.”

And you kinda slap his chest then cover your face a bit with your hands like “Jiho PLEASE you’re TOO MUCH.” And he just smirks because it's true and he knows you know it too despite how flustered you’re acting.

Zico breaks the silence again when he says “Anyways, I wanted to return the favor so I went ahead and drew a bath for you too. And it's a good thing I did, because you look like you need the extra relaxation today.”

“You’re right, a bath does sound tempting.”

“Would it sound more tempting if I told you I would join you?”

And you’re like “Asdfghjkl stOP BEING SO GREASY but also,,,,yes,,,,”

SO THAT’S HOW YOU END UP IN THE BATHTUB WITH WOO JIHO.

And yeah, it's pretty great.

You’re the kind of couple the can spend comfortable silences together so relaxing together like this isn’t really awkward at all for you.

He gives you some space to relax for awhile but after a bit he gets eager to pamper you since he’s in the mood to make you feel loved. He wants to make sure you know just how important you are to him since he feels like he doesn’t always get the opportunity to tell you enough.

At some point, he coaxes you into his lap and insists on washing your hair for you, probably leaning down to whisper into your ear a few times.

Ends up kissing it and your jawline a bit too.

Even after he finishes washing your hair you don’t move from his lap.

One, because you don’t want to, and two, because he probably wouldn’t let you move even if you wanted to.

But just sitting there starts to become more and more unbearable as he whispers more and more to you.

And his whisperings get increasingly more romantic and,,,,dirty.

“You’re everything to me.”

“It must be fate that we even met.”

“Don’t you know how breathtaking you are?”

“God you’re just so gorgeous.”

“The things I want to do to you…”

His voice is just so raspy and obviously heavy with desire and it just does things to you.

And suddenly you’re kissing a lot. A WHOLE lot. And everything is desperate and slippery and pretty ungraceful, but you love how wild he drives you.

And you drive him equally as wild because he gets a little rough and he can’t help it.

He’s always been into your legs and thighs, but in the tub he has to grip them a little tighter and it’s kinda thrilling tbh.

And at this point you’re in a MUCH better mood than earlier, so when there's a pause you find yourself saying between pants “If I’d known you’d needed inspiration this bad, I would have helped you out last night too.”

His response is a cross between a slight, breathy laugh, and a huff, before he tightens his grip and pulls you closer.

As much as he enjoys using dirty talk on you, it's super effective when you use it on him as well.

So yes, you do fuck the first time you two bathe together.

You probably shower together more frequently than bathe together because you don’t always have enough time to dedicate to bathing together. This is mostly because when you do, you both like to spend A LOT of time in the tub.

And he quite frequently initiates sex in the tub or at least heated makeouts so that often prolongs the baths.

Because Zico actually has A LOT of stamina,,,

So you’ll be in there for awhile,,,

LOVES to have you in his lap, riding him, either facing him or with your back to him is fine.

Has more of a preference for you facing him though so he can kiss all over your chest. And so you can get your hands tangled in his hair.

Zico literally always has to be grabbing your thighs/legs/ass though, so having you face him is also optimal for this. I mean, he gets a better look at your ass if your back is to him, but he likes holding it better when you face him.

ALSO finds it thrilling to watch your facial expressions through it all, but has a habit of letting his eyes close during pleasure so eye contact isn’t a must or anything.

But looking at each other makes conversation easier and sometimes he can get pretty playful and tease you because he knows it gets you off.

One time you made a comment about trying to get him to stop sloshing so much water out of the tub, which just ended up leading to some sexual teasing and somehow even more water than ever being sloshed out of the tub.

So yeah, he really enjoys sex in the tub. Sometimes when working, he gets pretty isolated and touched starved so when you're just there in front of him like that, it's difficult for him to hold back.

But with that said, there are tame baths too.

Sometimes he’ll be too exhausted to really do anything so you’ll end up pampering him a bit instead.

Again, he likes when you’re in his lap or sitting between his legs because that's the optimal way for him to be close to you in the bath. His legs are long so other positions can be a bit cumbersome. But when he’s really exhausted, he likes to try to fit between your legs and use your chest as a pillow while you play with his hair and poke at his squishy face.

You two don’t usually get out of the bath right at the same exact time, but it's usually only a few minutes apart because once one person gets out it starts to feel a bit lonely.

He also probably has like really soft expensive Gucci towels or something for when you get out of the bath lmaoooo.

So yeah, you’d both be really into bathing with each other when given the opportunity.

Baths with Jiho would be so good y’all. :’)

#Zico #Block B #Zico x Reader #KPop #KPop Scenarios #Woo Jiho x Reader #Block B X Reader #Woo Jiho #Bathing with Zico #Bathing with Block B #Block B Imagines #Block B Scenarios #Zico Imagines #Zico Scenarios #Reader Insert #Reader Inserts #I'M SO HAPPY I FINALLY GOT TO WRITE FOR MY BIAS!!!!