#sometimes i honestly feel like i'm stuck doing this thing no one ever encouraged me to do in the first place

[inklore]

— CELEBRATING TWO YEARS OF LOVE.

let's pretend that i posted this on the real anniversary date (july 18th) and not a few weeks late ok. but i'm still shell shocked i honestly stayed around on here for this long, seeing as how i've been on this hellsite for over ten years maybe even longer, have left many blogs and sideblogs behind, but have stayed put on here for longer than it feels. even through all the craziness and friends gained and lost. i have not grown sick of this place and i know it's all because of my mutuals (and followers) aka the most beautiful, hilarious, talented souls anyone could ask to have on their side.

whether we are friends or have never spoken i love you, i adore you. thank you for making my time spent on here worth it even when times get tough and this little hobby of ours seems more like a stressful nine to five.

@deathmotif, @authurials, @theauthorvt, +annie — hey remember when we all met on wp and i started that silly little michael langdon gc on kik and it was a dozen of us in there but then it soon dwindled down to us five and kik was on the verge of imploding and we all moved over to snap and now we literally all talk every day, if not every other??! my day isn't complete without seeing one of you sending an unhinged video in the gc. IT'S BEEN SIX YEARS with you guys in my life and you know me better than anyone. i can tell you my darkest secrets, traumas, thoughts, and there's no judgment. it's literally the most healthy friend group ever. i'm forcing ya'll to dress up as barbie's for my bachelorette party, like you're stuck with me. barbie is serious. just as serious as my love is for each and every one of you. when i think about my life and future you guys are always in it. idk if we should thank cody fern or the antichrist or both. but whoever brought us together in this life i hope they do it in the next because life without y'all would suck.

@psychedelic-ink — you should already know how much i love you, but let me remind you, let me go on for ever and tell you how special you are to me ok. when i was balling my eyes out on the phone/discord you were there to listen to me be a blubbering mess, you were there to talk me down, to listen, to validate my feelings. when i need someone to be motivating and get shit done with me you're there. when i need to rant about something horny you're there to encourage the unhinged. our discord sleepovers are my favorite thing in the world. i'm still shocked when i think back to our casual messages on here turning into a friendship so close and tight that my man spent over $100 to send you a magazine (without question) because he knows how much you mean to me. you have my heart always!

@pedrito-friskito — i have the most vivid memory of me and sil talking about you on discord and how great you were and i was like um?? i wanna be friends with kay! so after we got off of the phone i messaged you and then before i knew it me, you, and sil were in a gc together and the rest is history. i love that you and i like to disappear without a word sometimes but always come back like lol sorry but here's this love and support and encouragement and let me just life update you but also make you horny with this thought, and sil just puts up with us and i love it. ily. i'm forever forcing you to write and publish every story you write because you're going to put sjm to shame with the beauty your brain comes up with.

@tom-whore-dleston — i know i'm the worst at replying but you never make me feel bad for it. you're like 'oh yeah her adhd brain will get back to this text in 2 to 3 business weeks it's ok', and i love you for it. but no seriously ily so much. you're the first person i think of when all i can think about is dick because i know you're thinking the same thing. i know you'll understand. every time i see you post on social media i'm like wtf?? why am i halfway across the states and not with the loml right now?? it's truly unfair because i know if we were together we'd be the most chaotic, loud, sluttiest duo ever. your talent always amazes me, your beauty makes me jealous. both of our partners better watch out because i'ma run away with you one day i swear!

@chaseadrian — the fact that we grew close in a fandom that i despise now and is more toxic than not and a beautiful friendship came out of it?? iconic. every time i think about you all i can think is 'they just seems like they have everything all together, their ideas, their graphics, their mind, the way they speak is like talking to that really cool english teacher' like lmao i cannot explain how much i want your vibe. i adore your vibe. i ADORE YOU.

@greenorangevioletgrass — as one of my first friends on this little blog of mine i feel like i need to do more than put into words how much i adore you, how grateful i am to call you a friend, to be a part of your presence on here. hearing your ideas, your living breathing fic-like life is serotonin to me. like please share in the sexy wealth bestie!

@sapphireplums — when i see you in my inbox i literally get this overjoyed feeling inside me like charity thought about me today?? took time out of her day to send me something?? i'm blessed. i hope you and your beautiful mind are thriving bestie because you're literally one of the nicest, softest, people i've met on here and i'm in your corner if you ever need me. to show you love and support. to continue to convince you that your themes will always be more superior than mine!!

@rae-gar-targaryen — if success and talent and beautiful prose (and face) was an olympic sport you would have won by now. you HAVE won. we may not talk as much as we used to but just know that i always am thinking about how you are, waiting patiently for you to bless us with more of your fics (even if it's a crumb i'm like a little mouse savoring it because hello?? emily henry who? she got nothing on you). as my lawyer i love knowing if i needed you you'd be there with a simple text, as my bestie, as someone i look up to, as someone who radiates elegance and something else i can't even put into words because that's literally how you leave me, speechless: never change and know i'm always here for you.

@allaboardthereadingrailroad, @littledemondani, @wroteclassicaly — the three of you were those 'big' accounts that always intimated me. i stood in the background reading your stuff and being like ok they're going to put me out of business and then being absolutely shook when you followed me, i felt like i made it. like this was what being on here was all about having the accounts you find the most talented and amazing, and who have wrote some of your fav fics, follow you. and we may not talk a lot but i cherish you guys so so very much. like even before i made this account, on my old accounts, i've always been your #1 fans!!

@kittyofalltrades, @namorwife, @yoditopascal — i may have all but died out and disappeared from the discord server, and we may not talk anymore, but some of my best memories are with you guys. the unhinged, the thirst, the games, the rantings, i've never been more entertained and chaotic and rowdy than i was with ya'll and i love it. i miss it. ya'll are still my favorite people, my loves, my besties. one day i will be horny over the same characters as ya'll again and you'll be annoyed with my thirst again.

@eupheme, @tripleyeeet, @wint3r-h3art, @ohcaptains, @celestianstars, @flordeamatista — if there were ever a group of beautiful people i constantly compare myself to because the way they write, the way their themes look, the way their fic layouts / set ups look, their graphics, their vibes, their talent, their so many damn things: it would be ya'll. like i'm constantly like how do i get on their level? like i know there's not levels on here and everyone is so uniquely special and amazing at what they write and do and make, but i'm always in the trenches of devoting and heart eyes over EVERYTHING ya'll post. ya'll are the cool art kids i want to hangout with but instead i'm screaming in cheer in the silent museum where your creations should be showcased.

@mothdruid, @moonlight-prose, @moondirti, @angrythingstarlight, @amywritesthings, @oncasette, @withahappyrefrain, @navybrat817, @bakerstreethound, @villenelle, @refined-by-fire, @ladylannisterxo, @emerald-chaos, @mxgyver, @foli-vora, @jettia, @moreofem, @bits-and-babs, @woodlandmouth, @fluffyprettykitty, @cocoamoonmalfoy, @galatially, @ladylannisterxo, @saintlike78, @buckys-estrella, @ghostlyfleur, @arctvrvs — through the two years of me being on here i have had the pleasure, the joy, of talking to each of you. whether that be screaming in asks, inboxs, discords, pms, where we were hyping each other up, sharing ideas, support, check ups, screaming over each others fics, whatever it may be. there has been love and support and every time i see ya'll in my notfis, reading my stuff, your thirst posts or rant posts or your rbs, i'm always grateful to see it. for it. to be a part of it. but most importantly i'm like: hello why are we not closer?? why do i not bombard them with my love?? annoy them with it so much so that they have no choice but to be my bestie and feel all the doormat love and support that i'm constantly feeling when i see their little icons and usernames. so this is me both saying i adore you, ily, we may not talk as much as i wished but i'm here supporting and loving everything you do and beware that i will annoy you with my love when you least expect it and soon you'll be wishing for me to get out of your pms. you have a friend in me, a supporter, a hyper, seriously i got lucky with y'all being my mutuals <3.

there's so many other babes that i'm missing but tumblr has a tag limit so i couldn't get everyone on this list but just know ily ily literally every single one of my mutuals is a gift from god to me. you put up with my posts and insanity, i have no choice but to give ya'll my whole ass heart!!!!

#two year celebration #forever hating tumblr for not letting me add all 227 of you ilysm

[light-lanterne]

no one asked me but i don't care >:(

please, if i may, allow me to share some words about some of my favourite people this year. i must forewarn you, i most certainly forgot someone x.x i am feverish and have the memory of a goldfish, so please forgive me.

anyway, in no particular order:

@bottomlessabyssposts

hello, dearest nico! i'm,,, talking to you as i write this so this is a little awkward x.x anyway, thank you so much for letting me ramble for hours on end ! i'm sure it must get a little overwhelming at times, so i'm genuinely thankful for your endless patience and kindness. let it be known that you're an amazing writer and i can't wait for your next projects~ i'm a little angry at you though >:( that nier song you sent me is now stuck in my head and i can't get it out u.u anyway, thank you for letting me share my bad poetry attempts with you, and for helping me give shape to ideas that would otherwise be discarded simply because i don't know what to do with them. you're a great friend :] thank you for letting me talk to you

@smoosnoom

moon! there is much i could say about your writing but it'd probably take a lot of space so i'll just go ahead and expose myself: it is i, a friend-shaped krampus !! >.< i was too shy to talk to you then, but you're just so lovely and easy to talk to so thank you for being so welcoming and sweet :( i wasn't kidding back then, your writing is nothing short of impressive and all your stories leave me feeling like i just got a nice, warm hug :] as i'm sure it's become evident, i have too many words and this post is going to end up being huge so i'll leave it here. thank you again for being so friendly and for making such nice, beautiful stories~

@paladibun

jace ! it's been a bit, i hope things are going well for you~ so, i've actually been writing for quite a few years (for different fandoms) and never had someone made artwork for any of my stories. there will never be enough words to express how much that meant to me, and your continued support and encouragement are big reasons i didn't drop tde after the third chapter (i must go back to writing it x.x i promise i'm almost done with the next chapter). anyway, thank you so much for being so amazing to me, and thank you so much for sharing your beautiful art with us all. you're insanely talented, and every piece you produce is ridiculously unique and jaw-dropping <3

@ghoulsanderson

well, well, well. would you look who it is? if it isn't the person who inspired me to start writing after a two-year-long writer's block,,, no, but seriously, thank you so much for sharing your pretty stories with us! i adore your writing style and the way you get into mike's head is outstanding~ each of your works leaves me craving for more and each of them is even more enthralling than the last :] hope you've been feeling better ! and i hope we all get more vecna'd mike stories because, like you, i am feeling a slight withdrawal x.x

@lilacline001

lilac! hello! it's also been a bit since i saw you here on tumblr; i hope you've had excellent holidays! when i started making graphics, i had absolutely no idea what i was doing until i made the one for nocturne. it was an epiphany! a defining moment where i went from getting frustrated over never "getting it right", to having fun making stuff! so thank you for that :] your story motivated me in all the right ways~ speaking of,,, what an amazing tale! the way you write is heart-wrenching and endearing to no ends and the intrigue surrounding the universe you've created has me thoroughly hooked :] thank you for writing one of my favourite stories,,, ever, honestly,,, and i can't wait to see what happens next!

@bookinit02

haven! another one of my favourite authors! i started reading byler fanfics sometime in july and your works were some of the first that really got me into this little hyperfixation of mine~ (,,,should i be thanking you for that? x.x the brainrot is real and you're the one to blame /lh) anyway, yeah! your stories are amazing and unique and inspiring! i love the way you blend sweet fluff and soul-crushing angst so effortlessly. it hurts, but i love it ;-; i shall eagerly await for the next chapter of your retelling~ thank you for your incredible work, and for being so nice every time we've interacted !

@itsromeowrites

aha! another individual who's responsible for my hyperfixation! i don't have any evidence because ao3 decided to eat all of my bookmarks (what's up with that, anyway?), but 'a game of truths' was one of my first favourite fics x.x anyway, thank you so much for the amazing stories you write! just earlier i read 'playing pretend never felt so real' and i am not ashamed to confess that it had me giggling and smiling like a fool all the way through. you have a beautiful way of conveying the intricacies of your character's emotions and i can only aspire to be a tenth as good as you are in the future. thanks for the stories and for the sweetness ! i saw your post from yesterday (?) and it made me so happy ;-; thank youu

@astrobei

hello suni :] i've got a confession: i don't know why, but for a few months of my byler-spiral i,,, didn't read your works x.x no reason, i just,,, didn't. but everything changed (when the fire nation attacked yes, i know i'm not funny) and now they've become a great comfort for me! just recently i was having a really bad day and rereading some of your work really lifted my mood! the way you portray domesticity and feelings is incredibly realistic and endearing, and the introspective sections you write are so eloquent and descriptive~ thank you for the amazing works :D

@andiwriteordie

ahoy, oh wondrous andi! we haven't interacted much tbh, but every time we do you're incredibly kind and you make me smile a lot so thank you for that :] likewise, thank you for the astronomical amount of stories you share with all of us! there was this one post that went around the other day, about how some writers just seem to be made of stories. i believe there's no better way to describe you than that! every day, you share some beauty with everyone and it's downright scary how good everything is all the time :S more than that, however, it is inspiring to see so much creativity and you're constantly the reason new ideas pop into my head~

@perexcri

hello percy ! :] out of everyone on this ridiculously long list, i think your story, 'to hell and back again', is the one that had me laughing the hardest. my tummy even hurt at some points >.< it takes a lot of talent to create such an engaging story that seems to have the perfect combination of alluded-angst, humour and fluff~ i've read a handful of your other works since, and they're just as good, just as entertaining and heart-warming! you really are amazing and i can't wait to have some free time to read a few more of your stories hehe thank you for being so amazing, and for the huge honour that is making one of my graphics into an actual physical object! your friend (don't know if i should namedrop them) is amazing and it still baffles me to imagine something i designed being made into a physical thingy. thank you to both of you~

@byleresque

hi kat! i've only recently read one of your stories and i have already put your other two on my "to-read list" because your style is so nice and funny and charming :] it did ache a little though, but it was the best type of ache so i'm sure i'll enjoy everything else you put out~ thank you so much for the cuteness and the giggles, and for being so supportive and sweet ;-; good luck with writing your book! i'm sure it'll be wonderful~

@untitled-byler-blog

lilly! hi ! :D hope you're having a nice day! i'm,,, very quiet and awkward so i don't typically comment on your stuff, but lately i've been seeing a lot of sad posts from you :( and i just want you to know that you're amazing! your stories might be short, but it honestly makes me think of fairy tales and that's lovely~ i am incapable of brevity (clearly x.x) so it's confounding to see how someone can fit so much stuff in such few words no, seriously, how can you paint such a clear picture in the space it takes me to describe a singular hug? x.x it's impressive and requires a lot of talent (which i evidently lack) and i wish more people gave it a shot because each of your fics is a lovely nice ride~ anyway, all this is to say that you're awesome! i hope you feel better about this all soon and please remember you can send me any of your stories so i can share them and maybe help a little, okei? i'm cheering you on !

@rotisserie5107

helloo! so, we've never talked, i don't think. or maybe we have, i do have the memory of a goldfish so please forgive me if i've forgotten x.x anyway, hi~ just wanted to thank you for always being so nice and supportive of my stuff! your little comments always make me smile a lot :] that's all i wanted to say hehe

@souppiemousse

hi hii! may i call you souppie? or is there another name you'd prefer? :S we've never interacted, so i apologise if this is random :( just wanted to tell you that i adore your art~ it makes me super happy to see it and it has inspired me a lot lately when i'm writing~ so yeah, i just wanted to thank you for sharing your adorable art :] (okei, i'll stop being a weirdo now u.u again, sorry if this is icky)

okei, that's it! that's all the people who come to mind for now :S sorry if i missed anyone, i'm just tired and sick :( happy new year to everyone! i hope you accomplish anything you put your minds to, and i hope you smile and are happy today and every day this year :]

(i'm gonna take a nap now, this was supposed to be short x.x)

#🌙 #💗 #🧸

[broodsys]

got tagged by @plisuu, thank you again! this'll be fun >)

tagging hmmm lemme see... @jazzmckay | @streganicha | @jellydishes but as ever no pressure uwu also trying to not tag Everyone i know so other ppl can continue to pass it around lmao

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

55!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

299,998. okay that's amusing i'm glad i looked. i'm two words away from 300k lmfao

3. What fandoms do you write for?

99% dai, with a tinyyy bit of da2. also one fic (that has totally fucked up my stats page bc it's a much more popular fandom) for pkmn: sun and moon (anime) and one for cagaster of an insect cage (anime). my old deleted ao3 had more fandoms, the other big ones being les mis (movie) and inception

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

we're the last to know (pkmn sumo, little cutesy ash/kiawe thing)

sleep just a little longer (solavellan somno smut lmao)

the hidden mage (fenders during dai timeline)

domitable (solavellan smut with solas domming for once)

a matter of taste (solavellan smut where solas is encouraged to figure out his own interests)

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes! sometimes it takes me a bit but i always reply. if it's a long/thoughtful/specific comment i also try to address a bit of what the commenter brings up :')

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh that's maybe a day to die for sure. wrote that back in my first dai hyperfix period after it had come out, this is a bad end au where they get stuck in the magic future

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

my longing series comes to mind. nessa lavellan/solas. it was also my first venture back into seriously writing fic and my first dai fic ever since i got back into my hyperfix :')

8. Do you get hate on fics?

none yet, luckily

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

lmao yes i write so much smut. um... what kind indeed? i'll just say it's very character-driven - not always stuff i'm personally interested in, but hey, if it works for them, good. i shall write the thing. i write a lot of different kinks

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

none i can think of... although i do have an outline for a dragon age characters in the star trek universe fic lmao

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge, but i don't go looking, either

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

one, yes!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no. considered it at times, but it seems kinda awkward

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

all time....? well i'll say that the ship i've sailed the longest has been fenders fr

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

the fucking. cagaster of an insect cage one. god. i keep thinking about it and fanfic is nonexistent so i feel extra compelled to finish my fic for them but i just have like 0 interest. da took my entire brain over (again)

16. What are your writing strengths?

hmm... your boy can sure write some character introspection!!! honestly tho, one of the things i'm proudest about in my writing is my ability to match the tone to the fic or character pov

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

action scenes, especially fight scenes :x i can do them but they take soooo much longer than anything else and it's an uphill battle (heh) the whole way

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

while i wouldn't write another real language in fic, if it's a fan language (like project elvhen) then i sometimes include short pieces if they're different from what would normally be spoken. so like... arlathan era fic, no, i'm not going to include stuff from project elvhen bc everyone's speaking elvhen all the time. but if it's during dai era or smth and they're speaking common with the occasional elvhen word/phrase thrown in, then i'd add the word/phrase and define it at the bottom

19. First fandom you wrote for?

da2!

20. Favorite fic you've written?

that's gotta be from my bigfic series, antiquation :') specifically i think part 5, paradigm shift, is my favorite of the whole series uwu

template under the cut!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favorite fic you've written?

#tag meme

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hi! not so much a mental health ask but more advice? I recently watched Where The Crawdads Sing on Netflix : I personally thought the movie was really beautiful and as someone who experienced abuse similar ( not to the extent of her but it definitely resonated even if in a small way) to Kya I just was really focused on the film.

I started to reblog the movie because I also liked the main couple and I was surprised the movie wasn't talked about more. Out of curiosity I did some digging and found a huge amount of controversy and I'm kind of upset with myself for liking it. I don't have social media outside tumblr and even then I make an effort not to be online too much. When I watched it I just put it on because it was in my recommendation on Netflix. I genuinely had no clue how controversial it was.

Watching this movie in a weird way pulled me out of my depression and played a huge part in my recovery just with the stunning visuals, the music, and the friendship between tate and kya and now I'm just ashamed I didn't see that this movie was bad.

Hi Anon,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing how the movie impacted you in healing ways, in fact I’m glad that it was something that helped along your journey. 

Media consumption, fandom spaces, and even how one movie resonates with someone is such a personal experience - at any given time we are the sum of our experiences, and carry a wide range of biases, potential trauma, and even cultural and social expectations that (for better or for worse) we can sometimes project onto our viewing choices - and frankly there is no one movie that’s going to register with a group of people in the same way and that simply speaks to our individuality among the audience.  That’s actually a good thing.

Which is why I’d like to assure you that I don’t think the “shame” is for you to carry for not seeing the movie through the same lens others did.  And honestly it depends on what you’re referring to when you say “bad” - are we talking about stumbling across posts where perhaps concerns about racist undertones, regional biases, and/or problematic character behavior were raised that some did not feel were addressed in the movie?  Or are we talking about discourse where people are sharing their opinions about characters?  Sometimes how we feel internally when we read these educational posts, or even character analysis posts, can be powerful insight into where we want to work on ourselves, or how we ourselves relate to the characters.  It can feel personal to enjoy a character, only to find someone else doesn’t like them - we can sometimes get stuck on a narrative that it means they wouldn’t like us as people either.  Not suggesting that’s exactly how you feel here, I just mean to say that it’s understandable if seeing these posts brought up something more personal, but I’d also like to encourage you to push past the “shame” portion and dig a little deeper into the why.

However, regardless of what you choose to do next, I think media consumption/discussion/and even discourse can be done in ways that honor all participants with the inherent dignity we are all born with.  And one of the ways to do so is by curating your online experiences to tailor it to your personal needs.  We all have different boundaries, but there’s lots of resources out there to ensure that you can filter out certain posts and hopefully bask in ones that spark joy. And lastly, I hope you rest in the feelings the movie first stirred within you, ones that helped you feel seen, and heard - and know that there is nothing ever wrong with that.

- Mod Kat

#trauma talks #media consumption #media discourse #fandom discourse #curating your online experience

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here bestie and, well, I'm sure you've heard the news. Not sure it comes as a surprise, RNM really only ever had one, maybe two, reasons to watch and neither of those was the writing. Honestly I've got mixed feelings on this one, on the one hand I can stop hoping despite all evidence to the contrary that this show won't disappoint me, which is a relief. On the other, the only reason I still bother having hope for it is of course Malex and the incredible Vlamburn chemistry that carried

most of us through the horrors of S2 even (honestly with any other actors in those roles, I'd have been done by 2x02 with no regrets). Also there's the sentimental value in Malex being what kicked off our SaL based screaming in the void. Curious to know your thoughts on this my friend when your up for discussing it but would totally get it if you wanted to put this off till 911 is officially on hiatus. Take care 😗😗.

Hi bestie! I got your first ask about the promo but had to be in the office working all day for the rest of the week covering for someone (and our new boss wants us back in the office full time soon 🙄) so I didn’t get to it right away, and then the cancellation notice came in so I figured it would be in poor taste to drag the show that day, so I was holding on to it.

I also have mixed feelings. I’ve been out of touch with the show since season 3 ended and didn’t keep up with any of the news about season 4 until the promo poster (for ANTS!) dropped the other day with the season synopsis which was...not particularly encouraging (another season of Malex being separated and doing different things? whyyyyyy are they wasting the best dynamic and scene partner chemistry?! WHY?!). I’m with you in that I can finally stop having some hope that the show is going to live up to it’s potential and focus on the actually interesting dynamics and storylines and give characters scenes together that actually make sense. 

But also on the other hand, Malex. What a phenomenally heartbreaking and beautiful love story, with actors that actually pull it off! I still see gifsets from season 1 that feel like a gut punch, and moments between them where I feel like I should look away because it’s so intimate. The wealth of amazing fanfic that came out of that love story immediately after the show started is a testament to how magical it was, and even when the writing let them down again and again, Tyler and Vlamis always managed to hold on to that magic. Sometimes it was just by the skin of their teeth, but they kept that flame alive through some pretty horrendous choices on the show’s part. 

It’s frustrating and disappointing that a show that truly had the potential to be incredible and interesting and heartfelt was helmed by people and a network more concerned with teen soap drama. It’s frustrating and disappointing that a pretty stellar all around cast with the chops to pull off some ambitious things (that DID pull off some ambitious things!) got stuck with a network and writing better suited for a teen drama. I wish I could say I’m surprised by the cancellation news but honestly after what we got in season 3, I’m not. They wasted the whole first half of the show on a plot that went nowhere and was not needed! The writing for Echo and Malex was all over the place! Malex got together in a very confusing way given the animosity all season until suddenly it was gone. Kyle disappeared for several episodes and no one even mentioned him! Alex wasn’t in most of the finale OR in the big showdowns! The love of his life nearly died and we are TOLD they saw each other but don’t get to see it?! And don’t even get me started on the amount of time and dialog wasted on certain characters that didn’t end up serving any purpose the entire season. It’s frustrating, and sad, knowing what could have been. Knowing that they won’t ever really get a chance to try and fix things and that these characters that deserved so much better won’t ever get it. 

And it’s sad because Malex is what brought us together! Ryan and his music could have been written about Alex and Michael and it’s going to be bittersweet to let that go, especially since our alternate 911 is being Like That right now. But no matter what, no matter the missteps the show made, Malex will ALWAYS be special. There are so many stories and avenues to be explored with them that will keep fic writers busy for a long time to come, I’m sure. Vlamburn sparked something so beautiful that shows will be trying to capture and re-create forever. I’m sure in 10 years some cable show looking back on shows and couples from the past will be talking about Malex and what should have been and we all know Vlammy won’t ever shut up about his love for Michael, Alex, Malex, and Tyler.

And, we still have one more season to go! One more season of Malex, one more season of songs to flail over. The feelings about the show may be mixed, but my excitement about your asks will never fail. Cheers to us, bestie, and cheers to our woo wee woo show and the fandom that always came through to fill in the gaps, rewrite/expand the stories, create stunningly beautiful AUs, and magical fanart. That deserves to be celebrated! 

#my sweet nonnie friends #sleeping at last anon #roswell nm

[scary-senpai]

hi dear, Weird Questions for Writers - 26, please??

Hello, wonderful Anon! Thank you so much for your ask—I love talking about characterization. It’s probably the thing I love the most about writing, aside from making jokes.

(Weird Writing Asks is still open--so feel free to drop me a question if you are so inspired! Seriously, it is my love language.)

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

I like to think of myself as a theater kid, even though I don't have any professional training and the bulk of my experience was in high school (although I started taking classes again recently), but I tend to approach written characterization the same way I would if I were putting on a play: I'll revisit the source material, identify and analyze the scenes that the character appears in (as well as other scenes/events influencing those ones), and then work out any gaps in my knowledge and how to fill them.

I don't think of myself actually being the characters, though. I think of myself as a director coaching/negotiating with actors, and these actors sometimes vehemently disagree on how the scene should play out. In writer's rooms, when you're working with a team of people to develop a sitcom or something, it's not unusual to incorporate role-play as part of the brainstorming process (even if it's just the writing team and not the actors who play those characters), especially if the room is deadlocked on how a scene should go.

I have a little bit of experience directing, normally my own pieces written for specific IRL friends, so I guess it follows that I would do something similar with my beloved imaginary friends/fiends. All of my editing notes are written as if I'm working on a team, even though it's honestly just by me, for me. ^_^

Sometimes as a warm up, I'll write a dialogue between myself and the character where I'm asking questions about the choices they've made (usually in canon), and how they feel about them, what the implications are for this that I'm writing scene, etc. Part of this became a very silly fanfic, although occasionally it gets incorporated into the actual work in a more serious way--as actual dialogue, for example.

If I'm stuck on something, I'll go through this exercise a lot. A good example is Collateral Damage--I was having a difficult time getting Charanko and Garou to talk together, but I needed them to have A Moment (TM). So my editing process looked a bit like I was giving rehearsal notes to petulant performers:

Me: okay, so the heart-to-heart scene between you two feels forced and a little stilted. Garou: that's because it is forced and stilted.

Charanko: I'd never cry in front of Garou

Garou: he'd never get the opportunity, because I'd just leave.

Me: hm.... okay, so what if... Garou finds Charanko sobbing alone in the pantry, except this time, Charanko, you immediately hold your breath.

Charanko: why?

Me: because like you just said, you don't want Garou to see you cry, and you can't cry if you're not breathing. Garou is so intrigued by your stupidity that he forgets to be uncomfortable

Garou: I guess that checks.

Charanko: how long do I hold my breath for?

Me: until you pass out. that way, Garou has to catch you--so he just, like, leaves you against the wall and continues doing whatever he was doing in the pantry. and then Charanko wakes up and Garou talks to him--

Garou: nope.

Me: but feel a little bad for him, deep down, and you want to encourage him somehow.

Garou: yeah, but not out loud.

Me: what if... you draw a smiley face on a can of soup and hand it to him?

Garou: what if I throw a potato at his stupid face?

Me: we can work that into act 3. but there's no act 3 if you walk on Charanko, the scene just ends.

Garou: deal.

So I don't really ever fully enter a character's head, because I'm always thinking of them as a separate entity. I do often feel like they're with me, and that impacts how I experience the world--like I'll buy a lot of bananas if I'm thinking about Saitama and Genos, when I was writing the Genos Builds A Gingerbread House part of Holiday Hijinks, I dragged my partner to a baking exhibit, writing scenes with Garou makes me want to practice yoga because it's similar to martial arts, etc. Writing--particularly writing fic--is an escape and a joy for me, so the experience is usually lighthearted and fun.

On very rare occasions, I do get sad--like when I think about Garou's parents, who are my OCs... I think that was the only time I ever made myself cry as I was hashing out a scene. I tend to juggle a couple different projects and if one is bringing me down or putting me in a weird headspace, I'll cycle to a different one.

#ask games #asks #answers #kind anons #my writing

[pop-punklouis]

Hi Hopeee 💗

Sorry I missed a couple days (oops) been really busy!! Oooh I wanna say I wish I were you (like doing things WAYYY in advance instead of at the last minute) but I can also see how stressful and annoying that tendency can be. Both the extremes suck 😩

Re: shows, I mean, I just think it's ways of trying to cram our brains with content so you have something to do, y'know? And as for stranger things, I see your point about they should've stuck to original lore but I also kinda like all the stuff they brought in, it was a little messy but it also felt huge and in some ways it seemed to tie up with the rest of the lore for me so I quite liked it. Even if it's a little bit of an extreme leap. I need them to make more black mirror and I'll deffo get back to you when I watch midnight mass AND 1899.

Re pasta: I like all kinds of pasta dishes. We make a lot of creamy garlic penne pasta with chicken. We also kinda just modify it a lot sometimes to fit our own cultural tastes and make it spicy. It's just good no matter what.

Masters in film and media sounds so cool! And it's totally okay and valid to not have any really future plans rn, I've been there tons and I still don't really know what I actually wanna do. You deserve a couple months rest! I'm sure you'll find the right fields in it's own time and I hope you find all the opportunities you desire! There's time, and you'll get there 💗 working in an antique sounds like THE life tbh. A small, simple life.

My weeks been okay! Busy with work and other events but also yes, definitely been Christmas shopping and stressing over gifts and them getting here in time rip I should've done this earlier 😩 we did however have our tree decorated since Dec 1st I think? Maybe earlier? Dunno. Hope you've been having a good couple days!

For today's question: if you could pick a color palette (or a bunch of colors) that you feel captures you/your vibe, what would they be? Feel free to include pictures of the colors if you want!

Sending you much love and the bestest vibes 💫

~🌱

no worries bb!!! it’s been such a busy time for me too so i’m just tryna find time relax in the middle of all the holiday season 🤧

re: shows. i think i just really fucking hate the vecna character as a villian he’s so lame and i wish they didn’t try and make it where he was the main dude of the upside down and created all of the monsters we’ve come to know throughout the seasons like mind flayer baby i’m SO sorry they did this to you :/ in my mind stranger things canonically ended after season 2 and these are just bonus seasons for fun fjfkfkfk but yes please can’t wait for you to watch those shows 👐🏼

re: pasta. oooo that sounds super good honestly. i love any kind of pasta that throws chicken in fr i just love chicken. i need to start cooking more. i baked a lot during the pandemic but got away from that too rip

re: degree. yeahhhhh i’ve done so much in my field and nothing has really jumped out at me but i’m a big believer in trusting your own timeline and just trying not to stress too much about the unknown (even though as a capricorn that’s so hard 💀) one day i aspire to be a mountain mama who owns an antique store. truly the only life i want at this point i’m tired of the rest rip but thank you for the words of encouragement it’s very kind of you 💕

godddd christmas shopping is gonna kill me i think lol my whole family just thought we had more time and all of a sudden it’s the week before christmas and we were scrambling to get gifts and paying for expedited shipping so they arrive on time 💀 i feel like the family on home alone the day they leave for vacation but instead. it’s just us trying to christmas shop. and i love that about the tree! do you guys have a fake or real one? this is the first year i’ve ever known us to have a fake one. the real ones were just super expensive this year which made me sad :/ christmas never feels the same if we don’t have the smell of a real tree in our living room 🤧

and oooo i think earthy colors are a big one for me. olive greens. burnt sienna. browns. taupe. but also i love pastels like lavender or powder pink or jade green etc. it’s definitely depending on mood i think lol how about you? ✨👁

and i hope you have a great day yourself babe!! x

#grey #holiday pal 1

[screaming--agony]

i feel like we have very similar ..ahem.. issues. I am tired of it and as a last resort was thinking of therapy. Can you maybe possibly tell me why it didnt help? Is it on the therapist or on you?

lets hope the see another day right

Trigger warning:

I highly encourage therapy! And I'm really glad you're considering it

I started therapy at a young age after my parents divorced, those-therapists were more on my dad's side rather than helping me. And when I did find someone who was helping my dad pulled me away. I don't think I ever received proper care growing up. Used to live in a different state and I only had me. I did research on therapists. Vetted the ones that peaked my interest. Their forms of strategy, the diagnosis' they handle. Especially, look to see if they offer and cover other symptoms I was struggling with, even if I wasn't diagnosed with it because they have knowledge with it. Sometimes, out of 20 you can knock the list down to singular digits. That means you dodged several duds by just research. You only have you to look out for yourself. I ended up finding a really amazing therapist and psychiatrist that, upon later research, had dogs roaming around the office for Emotional support animals. It was such a vibe environment. They were absolutely amazing. But my situation flipped and I had to leave. Life threw me into a situation where I don't have options, I am stuck with the therapist I have because I don't have the resources to drive over an hour away. There are some therapists who make all the difference in healing and helping you grow into whoever you want to be, they are not counterproductive. I continue therapy to this day, my current therapist sucks. I answer the questions brutally honest, self harm, anxiety, withdrawing, eating habits, suicidal ideation... and nothing happens with my therapist, it's on to the next question. I may not be getting the right help with mine, but at the end of the day I can say that I didn't bottle it up, I was honest. All I have is me and my want to learn more by books and internet.

Just because my experiences with therapists didn't help me, does not mean it would be the same for you. Some therapists are so dope at their job, on top of everything, asking questions, making you think about things you overlooked, giving resources. Some therapists care. Other therapists look at someone as a paycheck. Every person is different. If you have the option for you to choose which therapist, vet them out. It doesn't hurt to do some research on the person you are trusting to help you with you.

I'm really proud of you for seeking help, it's a big step, very brave. I honestly hope you the best. If you ever want to talk or vent or ask anything, my inbox is open!

#anon asks #trigger warning #self harm #therapy #depression #dark thoughts #heart vs mind #every person is different #don't be afraid to ask questions #not alone #family dysfunction #ptsd #trauma #do what's best for you #trying to heal #one in a million #dear diary #social anxiety #i'm proud of you

[britneyshakespeare]

i hate writing poetry & i hate sharing it. hate all of it. it is a curse on my life.

#sometimes i honestly feel like i'm stuck doing this thing no one ever encouraged me to do in the first place #like i was always intrinsically motivated and i love the art!!!! but now that it's a somewhat significant part of my #sense of self for many years now... what do???? i do????? #so much to show and yet i feel like i have nothing to show *for it* #tales from diana #it doesn't really matter it's just perplexing to me sometimes to think about how much time and paper i've... i don't wanna say wasted #used up #in the pursuit of a craft i'm not even sure i fully appreciate #or at least i rarely appreciate #i have moments. i have times where i feel i have written something good and i bask in it for a day or so. #(not even a day more like a couple of hours) #and then i show it to a couple of people and receive positive feedback and well that's just it #and i post maybe 1 in 4 ish poems i actually write on my poetry blog. if i feel like it. #i mostly just have that as an archive for myself i don't actually give a fuck if anyone reads it but it's nice to *have* there #for reference #to keep track of things i've written but i don't even post... everything i LIKE on there because i save a lot #for potentially publishing #(ha) #(publication is the auction of the mind of man) #(poverty--be justifying/for so foul a thing) #and a lot of things i post on there i don't like #but then most of what i don't post i don't like either #like i've written like every day in the last week (i write usually about every day anyway) and i've not been posting much at all really #it's exhausting. like i don't even care anymore. #and my exhaustion is not about any insecurity in my skill or whatever--i'm fine at the physical craft. i can wield a rhyme and a metaphor #i know that. ive known that for a really long time #i need to stop writing so much poetry. i need to go back to reading more poetry and fall in love w other ppl's words again #i haven't had so much time to read in the past few months now that i've somewhat got a social life and it kinda burns me out #i love my friends but i miss my....... *gestures at my bookshelf* other friends #the ones in my head on the paper. i miss those ones i love them a lot.

[ticketstomydaydreams]

HOME

(All We Have: Part One)

Part Two

Colson x Female Reader

Summary: You and Colson are close friends and he invites you to move in to his house while you work on his record together

Word count: 1,580

Feels: Friendship Fluff for now

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, cursing, mentions of feeling depressed

Companion playlist:

Machine Gun Kelly - Home

Sia - Dressed in Black 

The Beatles - With a Little Help from My Friends

A/N: Throughout the series there will be changes to the timing of real life events like the pandemic, the release of certain songs etc. There's certain things I want to incorporate into the series, like particular events in MGKs life and lyrics from songs, so some stuff will get moved around to fit in to the story ✌️

______

It had been a long evening working in Colson’s home studio, The Boulevard, with him and the gang on the upcoming Tickets to my Downfall album. To say your schedule was busy was an understatement, but Colson had insisted you get involved with the new material after the success of your work together on Hotel Diablo.

Composing music was your main gig, you had an ear for melody and your passion for writing meant you always had lyrics swirling around your head. You had a penchant for dark and melancholy lyrics, finding music to be a source of therapy for you. It was something you and Colson had instantly bonded over. He'd bugged you to list some of the stuff you'd written that he'd know and you had gained his professional respect immediately.

He always kept a close eye on your work, ever the supportive friend and had laid claim to your piece ‘Glass House’ as soon as he'd heard it.

______

2019

You were sitting crossed legged on the sofa in your lounge, gently strumming your guitar and gazing off into space and mumbling to yourself, as you worked out some lyrics in your head. Colson was lying on the floor by your feet, scrolling through his phone with earphones in, a blunt in his hand that he occasionally passed up to you. This was a common set up, you found it easier to write in the peace and quiet and Colson has gradually started hanging out at your place more when he needed to focus on his own writing.

"All alone in the glass house, lie awake til the sun's out, pink sky when you come down…"

"Throw me in the damn flames, Bury me in gold chains, throw me in the damn flames…"

You'd started singing out loud, occasionally stopping to scribble down lyrics and make adjustments, not noticing that Colson had removed his earbuds to listen to you

" Dude, that's hard, like, beautiful… " His comment made you jump slightly, you hadn't seen him propping himself up on his elbows, watching you intently "Sing that last bit again"

You blushed slightly, his opinion was always important to you, and started singing. He muttered to himself as you did, then pointed at you "Again!"

Letting out a little laugh and rolling your eyes, you sang again

"Throw me in the damn flames, bury me in gold chains, throw me in the damn flames"

Colson's voice met yours at the end of the line, rapping softly "I'm waiting on the rain to come and wash it all away"

You locked eyes, smiling and he sat upright. "Dude, Im'a need that hook! That spoke to me right there, I've think got something for it that I've been stuck on"

He looked so excited, your heart did a little flip. You'd seen that writing this album had taken it out of him, he'd been digging deep and really going through it emotionally. You could tell it was going to be raw and special from what you'd heard already.

He sat forward and moved the guitar from your lap so he could lean his arms on your knees and looked up at you shooting you puppy dog eyes with those baby blues "Pretty please Y/N"

You laughed and ruffled his hair, "Anything for you Col" Honestly, it'd be an honour to be part of such a personal project, you thought

He wrapped his arms round you and squeezed,

"You're a legend, kid. Get a sample recorded and send it to me!" He grabbed your guitar off the sofa and whipped back around, strumming a few chords as he carried on talking with his back to you, leaning against the sofa "This is gonna be fire, you always just hit the nail on the head, I swear it's like you're in my head sometimes"

You smiled, seeing the wave of motivation that had struck your friend. You felt so lucky to have a friend who was not only so inspiring, but one who 'got it', who understood that music was a form of release. Someone who recognised that it was important to feel these things, rather than encourage you to push dark thoughts away with toxic positivity.

He’d pushed to use your original samples on his record, but as much as you loved writing and singing, you were a behind the scenes kind of gal which had always suited you just fine. Naomi, a mutual friend of you both, came onboard to record them with him. A decision that turned out to be golden… 'Death in my Pocket' would be born not long after, with Naomi doing your lyrics such beautiful justice yet again, perfectly pairing with Colson's emotional rapping.

______

From then on Colson had kept you close to his recording. You'd been helping here and there with composition and notation, but your production skills were what was taking centre stage during the most recent sessions. You had a long list of projects you were working through, leaving you chained to your equipment most days and nights anyway so throwing more music into your workload didn't seem like much of a big deal. In all honesty, the chaos of Colson’s studio and the revolving door of personalities that were in and out constantly, made it one of the most fun places to be. You loved what you did for a living and it never really felt like work Even though the guys were a real handful at times, you kind of enjoyed being the studio 'Mami' as they often affectionately referred to you

Everything had wrapped up for the evening and the guys had migrated back into the house. You could hear from the raucous that the drinks must have started flowing freely. You were saving your work and packing up your stuff when Colson bursts back into the studio and throws himself in a chair, spinning it around with his arms in the air.

"You staying for drinks Y/N?" he grins at you, clearly hyper and in party mode

You let out a big sigh "Urgh, I'd love to but I have an early start tomorrow. I finally managed to get an apartment viewing. I swear I've looked at a hundred places now, they get snapped up so quickly.. I've only got a few weeks left on my lease as well"

“Ah, that sucks kid” Colson empathises, spinning his chair again before an idea strikes him “Wait! Why don’t you move in here for a bit until you find a place? The guest room is pretty much your room anyway, the amount you crash here”

You laugh “This is true, that mattress is so much better than mine! Aw Col, that would honestly be so helpful, the stress of finding a place when I’m this busy is killing me. I don't know… You sure the guys won’t mind?”

Colson scoffs “Why would they mind? You practically live here anyway” he teases “I’m sure they’ll be just as stoked as I am at the thought of you joining the madhouse for a while”

Before you have a chance to respond, he stands up and throws his arms around you, squashing you into him tightly “That’s it decided Roomie. Another song in the bag and a new housemate, plenty to celebrate tonight!”

Wriggling out of his tight grasp, you laugh and in a deep voice shout “let’s goooooo” mocking his signature catchphrase. He flips you his middle finger and says “Kitchen, now”

Once you’re in the kitchen, Colson heads to get you a drink and grabs one himself. Appearing back at your side, he passes you your beer and then shouts out to the rest of the group,

“YO, meet our latest housemate, Y/N is moving in. LET’S FUCKING GOOOOO”

Everyone in the kitchen lets out a big cheer, clearly pleased as he said they would be. Colson bends down and picks you up, swinging you around in a circle, spilling your drinks all over the both of you as you shout his name in mock annoyance, between giggles.

“I hope you know what you’re letting yourself in for” Rook laughs, clinking his drink against your now empty beer bottle once your feet are back on the floor

“It’ll be good to have another pair of hands around here, looking after you lot” Ashleigh chimes in, laughing and slapping Slim away as he pulls her hood up over her head, covering her eyes

It had been 5 years since you'd made the decision to move to LA, barely knowing a soul. You'd worked several jobs, jumped from place to place, worked your ass off to catch your break in the music business, sometimes feeling like the grind would never get you anywhere.

There had been times where you felt like you couldn't carry on, aching from trying to keep pace. The dream had felt like it was turning into a nightmare, as you tried to make ends meet, feeling so lonely in this enormous city.. but eventually you'd made these amazing friends who made you feel so safe and loved.

Now, there were times you had to pinch yourself just to make sure it was all real.

As you shake off some of the beer that's dripping from your hands, you look around the kitchen. Taking in the crazy, loveable bunch before you, your new housemates, you are filled with gratitude. You finally felt like you were exactly where you were supposed to be…

Home.

______

❌❌ Lace up!

#mgk fluff #colson baker x reader #mgk imagine #mgk x reader #machine gun kelly imagine #colson baker imagine #machine gun kelly x reader #colson x reader #mgk fic #machine gun kelly #fandom #fanfic #fanfiction #mgk fanfiction #colson baker

[itsclydebitches]

About Bakugo, I actually think his original characterization is partly why his arc doesn't work for me: it seems like his contempt for others and desire to hurt them is innate, because he was already insulting and humiliating Deku for fun when they were in kindergarden, and at this age I'm not sure it makes sense to blame the adults around him for this behavior. This is also why I don't buy the "childhood friends" narrative, even before the infamous river scene Bakugo was toxic to Deku.

Hard agree, anon. I'm willing to give some wiggle room to the "Bakugo had a messy childhood and that's why he's like this" argument just because I'm not caught up (and thus might be missing some flashbacks/revelations), no one's life is ever perfect, and there's a subjective line between what we read as innocuous tropes vs. realistic traumas (example: is his mom hitting him something we take seriously, or just classic anime "comedy"?), but honestly I'm... not persuaded by that stance. Largely due to what you've said about this contempt being around since the very beginning. Bakugo's cruelty is the introduction to the entire series, the very first thing we see:

First, they're young here. Maybe not kindergarten young, but as we see in the above narration, it's at age four that Bakugo acquired his "I'm the best" thinking (more on that in a second). They're kids. This is not something that developed slowly over the years until Bakugo crossed some kind of line, he's been like this since the very start. Since a kid is capable of forming thoughts, opinions, and making decisions: like attacking another. In what way does this establish them as friends? Izuku literally shaking as he tries to protect another kid Bakugo is has hurt? Bakugo calling him worthless? Gleefully attacking and punching Izuku in the face? They were never friends! Izuku followed Bakugo around because he was paid some kind of attention by him and Bakugo poisoned the well — no one else in class will befriend Izuku. We see this both by the two willing to help beat him up here and, later, when Izuku says he wants to got to U.A. the entire class laughs at both the idea and Bakugo blowing up his desk in response. The bullying is the only kind of "friendship" Izuku has, so he embraces it with a smile and a nickname. Meanwhile, Bakugo allows Izuku to tag along because he makes him feel good in comparison. All Bakugo needs for an ego boost is to look at Izuku. He's the useless, quirkless nobody whose name can be read as "Deku." What's not to like? Izuku makes Bakugo feel good because Bakugo will always come out on top — always win — when pit against him. Did they have a few good moments gushing over All Might? Yeah, but anyone who has been bullied knows that it's not a clear cut "They were consistently awful every second of every day." Sometimes, those moments of pretend or conditional friendship make everything worse.

(As a side note, I keep hearing the more intense fans of Bakugo saying that those who criticize him identify with Izuku "too much" and it's like... yes? He's the protagonist. You're supposed to identify with him. To say nothing of the question of why you'd include such an explicit bullying subplot — arguably at the heart of the narrative in regards to characterization — if you didn't want readers who had experienced bullying to relate to this story. So it's all about victims like Izuku, you're allowed to care, just don't care in a way that holds Bakugo responsible?)

"But Izuku cares about Bakugo. He tried to help him out of the river." Yeah, because Izuku cares about everyone. Overlooking his warped idea of what friendship is due to having no one but Bakugo, Izuku is the kind of person who is going to extend his hand to anyone who needs it, just like All Might would. His extreme compassion and lack of other friends is not good proof that he cares for Bakugo in any true, healthy fashion, let alone that Bakugo cares for him.

As for when this all started, yeah, it was when they were even younger than in the scene above. Toddlers when Bakugo realized he had a strong quirk and Izuku was told he had none. Bakugo's reaction to these events — deciding he's better than everyone else and that justifies harming those "lesser" than him — is instantaneous. That desire was there all along. He just needed an excuse to act on it. After the conversations about the adults' influence on him, I went back to the anime scenes of Bakugo showing his quirk to his class and it's... pretty normal? I mean yes, there's praise, but in what world wouldn't there be praise? A bunch of other kids are going to ooh and ahh over mini explosions and the two teachers, unless they're entirely heartless, are going to tell this kid that he'll indeed make a wonderful hero someday. Those are standard responses for very young kids who aren't going to understand something like, "That is a powerful quirk and you could be a great hero... just don't let that potential go to your head!" There's nothing in those scenes that imply an excess of praise, at least so much that it would totally warp a kid's perspective of others to the extent Bakugo has going on. If I recall correctly, Bakugo's parents are quite disappointed in his behavior, but that never had an impact on him. And as I mentioned previously, we have incredibly talented characters like Momo (getting into U.A. on recommendation), people like Ida who come from families with other heroes they want to impress, Todoroki dealing with a crazy legacy to live up to, tied up in his abuse... yet none of them turned out like Bakugo. All of that didn't kill their compassion, but adults telling Bakugo he has a strong quirk made him into this person? Bakugo wanted to be that person, right from the start.

Honestly, I think a lot of fans latched onto Bakugo — which is awesome! — but didn't want to admit how horrible he actually is. So they took moments largely out of context and repeated them enough until they became fandom staples. Bakugo and Izuku were close childhood friends who just had a falling out they need to come back from. Bakugo was only like this because the adults in his life drove him to that behavior. Izuku loves Bakugo because he can see how good he is, deep down inside, and definitely not because he's been stuck with him since they were toddlers, unable to escape him even at U.A. It's a very sanitized look at their relationship, embraced because fans want them to be friends or lovers. Which is fine! God knows I'm into a ton of "problematic" ships, I just like acknowledging that they're problematic, not trying to sweeten the situation because fandoms have made others feel guilty for liking anything that's not squeaky clean and pure. Bakugo tormented Izuku for their entire childhood. He encouraged him to commit suicide. He tried to keep him from achieving his dream, both by undermining his confidence and outright threatening him (remember burning his shoulder?). He then reworked that obsession when they both got into U.A., trying to prove Izuku's uselessness, failing, and continually struggling with the thought that he's actually a great hero. And it's like... why do I care? This guy is a horrible person, he's been a horrible person since he was a kid, and his greatest challenge for more than half the story is acknowledging that other people aren't worthless trash. His improvement still hasn't gotten him to the standard of an average person, let alone a hero. If Bakugo were a villain, great, or if the story was going to really highlight the corruption of the hero career as a whole (we take anyone with powerful quirks, no matter how awful they are), great, but as a main character hero whose behavior is supposedly just a cover for a fantastic guy, please overlook everything he does and assume he's worthy of your respect anyway? Ehhh. Why do I care about him as a good guy when there are characters like Ida and Uraraka I could stan? To be clear, I'm not saying other fans can't enjoy whatever characters they enjoy, just that from a storytelling perspective I think it's a failure to introduce Bakugo as such an extreme, make him one of the heroes, give him such a selfish struggle, and then expect a lot of the audience to care. Bakugo either needed to be more balanced from the start — regular flaws instead of such an intense adoration for cruelty from the age of four — or the story needed to unpack his behavior in a way it never bothered to.

#BNHA #My Hero Academia #anti bakugo #mymetas

[najatheangel]

𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐞

pairing: Lee donghyuck x reader (ft. nct members)

genre: fluff, angst, comedy and spice.

inspired song: Bestie by Lloyd.

summary: donghyuck’s and his s/o memories as best friends leading up to becoming lovers. (btw this one’s a little longer than the ones i usually write so beware loves.)

Haechan’s POV: June, 24th, 2018. “Today’s the day where I finally tell her how I feel. After 7 years of my friendship, growing up together and holding back my feelings for so long, Today is the day where things change. I’m tired of being stuck in the friend zone this is my one and only chance before she moves away. Now or Never Hyuck...”

“She's a bad one not a fast one. Every time we get together we have fun”

Growing up, me and y/n always were always bound to be apart of each other’s lives. We’ve grew up in the same neighborhood, our parents met each other in school, our friends are dating each other and we even go to the same school together. Sounds very corny right? It’s true though.

Our thing was always playing horror games together every night after we finish doing homework together. She was always the procrastinator so I had to give her some motivation. Not only that, we always play around the swing sets in the park that’s right in front of our houses to talk about anything and everything that was going on in our life’s.

This one time she got so drunk after Mark’s birthday party and was trying to swing so high and flew off the swing set thinking she was super man. Heh, she can be such a idiot at times. She may be one of the goofiest, bubbly and sweetest people I know. She can also be caring, overprotective and keep me calm whenever I’m always acting crazy.

I don’t remember what exact moment I feel in love with you, but I do remember feeling like as time went by, my love for you stared to grow much stronger. Everyone around us was starting to suspect how we felt about it each other especially my mom she adored you so much and loved the idea of us being together.

She would always ask “Where’s your girlfriend y/n?” Or “Aren’t you supposed to be with your girlfriend right now?” Ah girlfriend, I love the sound of that. Anyways I was grossed out at the idea at first because I only saw you as my sister once before and not to mention I was immature.

She would always ask “Where’s your girlfriend y/n?” Or “Aren’t you supposed to be with your girlfriend right now?” Ah girlfriend, I love the sound of that. Anyways I was grossed out at the idea at first because I only saw you as my sister once before and not to mention I was immature.

She would always ask “Where’s your girlfriend y/n?” Or “Aren’t you supposed to be with your girlfriend right now?” Ah girlfriend, I love the sound of that. Anyways I was grossed out at the idea at first because I only saw you as my sister once before and not to mention I was immature.

She would always ask “Where’s your girlfriend y/n?” Or “Aren’t you supposed to be with your girlfriend right now?” Ah girlfriend, I love the sound of that. Anyways I was grossed out at the idea at first because I only saw you as my sister once before and not to mention I was immature.

Once we’ve started getting much older I've tried dating other girls but none of them just didn’t compare to you. I’ve tried to joke around with them, they wouldn’t take me seriously. When I try to ask them out on dates, they would ditch me for someone else. When I try to be affectionate, they reject and always want to stay friends. I normally had luck keeping girls around, but only for a short amount of time. It seemed like every week I had a new girlfriend.

I knew y/n was always frustrated at me trying to tell me there’s other fish in the sea, but hell I want to my little mermaid and that’s y/n-ie. I even teased her about it, but she didn’t seem to take a hint.

“You know y/n... we should honestly just date. We would be the next Hyuna and Edawn in the school. They would have nothing on us.” I even nudged her on the shoulder to get her smiling.

“Hmm? Are you insane that would be too weird. We’re like brother and sister.” I could tell she was flustered, but she wasn’t exactly to thrilled with the idea. “Plus you know how I feel about Mark already. I’ve got to really wow him at this game tonight.” Oh yeah I forgot to mention she had a crush on my other best friend Mark Lee at the time.

“I know she should just be my friend Yet I'm hoping, I'm hoping that maybe it will lead In love happy end.”

It would work my nerves every time she would talk about him and always would ask advice on what to do, but I was very hopeful and believed I still had to chance to win her heart. I gush to everyone including the boys everyday about how madly in love I was with y/n without even realizing.

I would tell everyone, well except her of course. Johnny almost told my secret to everyone at Jaehyun’s house party when we were all playing strip uno. It was shut down real quickly because Doyoung gave him a long hard talk after awhile.

That night was also the worst for me because that was the same days the homecoming game where you confessed your feelings to Mark and became officially a couple. In my mind I wanted to be happy for the two of you as I watched you two kissed each other in front of everyone.

After that day, I avoided you for a while and couldn’t accept the fact that I couldn’t have you at that very moment. I couldn’t spend more time with you, hold you, kiss you, brag to everyone how much I loved you.

Although I was torn and felt defeated when you started dating Mark, I still felt a tiny bit of hope that someday I would still have a chance to make you mine and have our happy ending.

Y/N POV: June 24th, 2018. The day that I say farewell to my best friend Lee Donghyuck before going leaving to go to Harvard. I can’t believe this day has finally come we haven’t had the chance to hang out throughout our entire senior year so I want to make this count. I also want to tell him how I’ve felt about him. Let’s see where do I even start....

“We were children when we met. Just playing house and drinking sodas at the corner store.”

I remember having a hard time making friends my family moves from city to city because of my dad career as a entrepreneur for multiple companies and my mom working as a travel nurse. I was bullied for my struggling with my weight and for being an outcast which caused a lot of depression for me.

One day I remember running away from these girls in my school because they were trying to throwing apples at me. It was they’re way of trying to help me “eat healthy.” Jokes on them I was the top runner in the track team hehe.

Anyways, I lost them for a good second until I was trapped surrounded by them at the market by my house. I almost felt at lost against the 4 girls, until this crazy guy Lee Donghyuck comes out of no where scaring them away with his Freddy Kruger mask threatening them to leave me alone or he’ll haunt them in their sleep.

I felt bad for laughing, but it was one of the most nicest thing anyone has ever done for me ever since I’ve moved to Korea. He randomly introduces himself to me and offers me to play with him for an exchange of saving my life from those bullies.

“Hey my name is Donghyuck. Those girls always find their next target to pick on, but no worries princess I’m here to protect you. Let me introduce you to my other friends.”

He reached his hand on to me and ever since I was always dragged on to his crazy adventures.

“Like a brother from another. Didn't notice all the other girls they wanted more.”

Donghyuck was pretty popular when it came to having lots of guy friends and dating even when we were kids. In 5th grade on Valentine’s I remembered his desk being flooded with chocolates and anonymous love letters stuffed in backpack.

The idea didn’t bother me at first because I saw Hyuck as my older protective brother. I even slid some letters in my self saying “Happy Valentine’s Day loser. Enjoy those kits kats!” We tend to tease each other a lot, but that’s how we showed our love to each other.

People in our class including the boys Jaemin, Chenle and Yang Yang were encouraging us to date, but we just never seemed thrilled with the idea.

“Awhh c’mon you guys would be so cute together. You guys have kissed once before anyways it’s a sign.” I remember the boys would always poke fun at us, but we both would scream.

“Ew no way! Plus that kiss didn’t count it was for a school play.”

Yet every time a guy would try to ask me out, Donghyuck would scare them away because he claims that I’m still too young to date. Smh, yeah I should’ve known that it was actually because you were jealous.

“But now look at the glow up. You're the finest thing I ever seen, but you never been more than a friend to me.”

As much as I hate to admit it, but god sometimes Donghyuck can be hot...sexy...hell good looking when he wants to be. It doesn’t help that he’s teasing me about it either.

There was this one time when we were playing Mario Karts in his room and it was on a hot summer day at the time. This guy had the nerve to take his shirt off in front of me with sweat dripping on his abs, hair slightly messy to the side, and leans back with his grey sweat pants on.

GREY SWEATS!! Like cmon. I could barely concentrate on the game after awhile admiring how painly handsome. I felt very guilty because I was still dating Mark at the time, but my mind was going 2 different directions.

“Hey y/n if your hot you can take your shirt off too. I thought my mom had the mechanic fixed the ac by now so sorry about that.” There he goes sticking his tongue out like that again. Does he have no shame.

“Umm, Hyuck I just remembered I have a test on Friday to study for. Tootles!” I knew if I would’ve stayed in his room much longer I would’ve either passed out or sink deep into his tempting body leaning against mine. It was not only the heat in the room that was driving me crazy, but my beating heart that was burning my chest.

Before I tried to leave he shut the door and pushed me against the wall staring deep into my eyes. “You know princess, we don’t have a math test Friday right? I’m in the same class as you.”

This man uggh, next he proceeds to make me look at him in the eye by lifting my chin up. “D-did I say math test, silly me. I meant biology test.” After laughing awkwardly for a while I realized he wasn’t laughing with me like he usually does. It was like the vibe changed in a matter of 5 sec.

“Listen y/n...I know your dating Mark and all, but would it be wrong to just let me hold you one last time.” Yeah it would be awful, especially when your still technically half naked in front of me.

I’ve never even gotten close to kissing Mark before, yet my friend of 6 years is going to do it. So I had to run out of there before things got worse. “I-I can’t do that Hyuck. You know that wouldn’t be right. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

“I'm thinking that one day you'll be mine. And I don't wanna lose you.”

I ran home as fast as I can hyperventilating before I let myself caught any feelings. The truth was for awhile I only wanted to date Mark to try to forget about Hyuck, but after that night I’ve started to realize that I can’t escape my feelings that I have for him it’s impossible.

I love him more than anyone in this world. The thought of that saying had me laughing and crying that night.

June 26th, the day Donghyuck will have one last chance to confess his feelings before his princess y/n leaves off to go to school. Y/N and Donghyuck both run out of each other’s house and decided to meet up at the swing set after 6 years.

They both sit down sighing looking up at the orange sunset sky that’s shinning throughout the area. The two of them slowly swing looking down at the ground waiting for the other person to speak up first.

“So...I bet you probably heard the news already huh? I’ve finally got accept to Harvard. So tomorrow I’ll be going back to my hometown to begin my semester in fall.” Donghyuck responds back by saying.

“I know, I heard from my mom. She nearly cried. You know it would’ve been nice to hear from you. I haven’t seen you since last week.” Y/n finally looks up at him with tears falling down her face.

“Hyuck I’ve been going through so much this past week. I’ve broken up with Mark, my brother was stuck in the hospital and I almost had to repeat senior year if I didn’t pass that state test. So I’m sorry I didn’t contact you lately.”

Hyuck quickly stands up and hugs y/n gently by stroking her hair. “It would’ve been nice to hear your voice. I miss you and I love you.”

They both freeze up at the words he just said “Y-you what now?” Hyuck gulps at first, but then he snaps out of it ready to pour his heart out.”

“LISTEN PRINCESS I LOVE YOU OKAY?? Not just as a friend either. This whole year I never got to hang out with you and I don't know how to pretend, I hate falling in love with my best friend. That night you left my room I almost gave up on us, but I knew I had to tell you before you walk out of my life. Talk about bad timing right?”

Y/N starts giggling wiping her tears for a split second but then smiles by saying.

“I love you too Donghyuck. I have for a long time actually I just didn’t want to ruin my one and only specially friendship I had with you. I was even thinking that trying to move on by dating someone else would work, but it didn’t. Without you in my life, I am blue as the sky.”

The two of you of crack up laughing again at your embarrassing thoughts of each other, but immediately stop trying to think of what should happen next.

“We’re truly some idiots. Now we only have a few hours left of being a couple before you leave. So what happens next y/n?”

Y/n sits on Hyuck’s lap hugging him tightly and leans into his face by saying. “No worries we’ll figure this out once I move. For right now let’s just enjoy our last few hours together as a couple.”

Hyuck wraps arms around y/n waist and feels his heart skipping a beat once she starts kissing him softly in his ear. “Princess you know I’m very ticklish right there.” Ignoring his comments y/n proceeds to kiss his ear again, but then starts trailing down to his neck.

“My B-E-S-T, a true friend to me. Give me love and energy, that is what you send to me”

“Mmm keep calling me princess and I promise you I won’t be able to hold back.” He wiggles his eyebrows at your bold response and smirks by saying...

“Well what’s stoping you? We can do it right here right now on these swing sets.” He starts sliding your hands in your thighs while finally kissing you on your lips.

All that built up passion and emotion was easily displayed as you were kissing him. Not to mention the fact that he’s sliding his hand in your jeans which is making it hard for you to keep your voice down.

“Ahh keep it down y/n...Do you want the neighbors to hear you?” He teases you more by moving your hand in his jeans. “Do it for me too.”

“Lee Donghyuck, are you crazy?? Why don’t we just do this in your room. We will get caught for sure.” He pouts for a second and says

“Yes I’m crazy for you. You already know this though. How about this, we can finish this in my room and we can just tell my mom we stayed up playing games again all night long. Deal?”

“Deal!” You give him one last peck on the lips and grab him by running into his house like there’s no tomorrow. “Slow down princess!” The two of you slammed the door in his room and for the whole night you never dared to leave his side for a split second.

“It's what you do to me.”

The morning after ended up becoming very emotional for the both of you, because this is the last the you’ll be seeing each other face to face until the both of you are done with school. While he’s off becoming a singer, you’ll be on your way becoming a lawyer.

Out of all the places you could possibly move away from again your home next to Donghyuck and his family was the hardest to leave from. You made so many memories here and would cherish it for the rest of your life.

Before heading the road you give your best friend and now boyfriend one last hug and kiss on the forehead before putting your last luggage in the trunk and hitting the road to start your journey.

Although your both moving on to different paths of life career wise, you both will always have your history together and promised to reunite as a couple again when the time is right.

Thanks so much for reading this far you guys and feedback would be much appreciated. ✨

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 🏷 : @himitsu-luna @starrdustville @xxminmixx @dundun-baby @purplepsycho03 @kpopsnowball

Send an ask if you want to be added or removed from the tag list. 💫💫💫

#kpop scenarios #kpop fanfic #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #nct 127 smut #nct 127 angst #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 reactions #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #nct dream smut #nct dream angst #nct haechan #haechan #haechan fluff #haechan smut #haechan angst #haechan imagines #haechan fanfic #haechan scenarios #nct 127 fanfic #nct dream fanfic

[0606-hyuck]

BOYFRIEND!TEN

includes:

♡ before the relationship

♡ becoming comfortable/humour

♡ relationships with other members

♡ jealousy/pda/flirting

♡ disagreements

♡ dates/texting/social media

♡ languages/"i love you"

masterlist

enjoy!

wc: 1.5k

♡ before the relationship ♡

you'd been friends with ten for ages before you actually started dating

you were both in each others social circles and because you saw each other so much you ended up being really close friends

ten was always so random and fun to be around

like he was always encouraging you to do wild stuff and embarrass yourself with him

or like sit and gossip about people you knew

and eventually you started getting feelings for him

you don't even know why and you were cursing yourself for having a crush on your weird-ass best friend

one day you were at his for a sleepover and he asked you whether you had a crush and you simply said it was him

you knew that ten was really easygoing and if he didn't like you back then sure, things might be awkward for a little while, but you'd go back to acting like nothing happened pretty quickly

he was surprised but didn't really show it, instead he confessed that he'd liked you for ages as well

"omg wow thats so cool that we both like each other, who knew"

"does that mean we're dating now?"

lmao and just like that you started dating

♡ becoming comfortable/humour ♡

the way ten treated you when you started dating didn't change much

he clowned you and teased you as much as possible

but he was also more affectionate with you

like you'd had a comfortable relationship before and would cuddle together

but now he felt really proud and confident about doing stuff like that

is just so smug that he gets to call himself your boyfriend

a LOT of teasing in your relationship

to the point where everyone is like "do y'all actually like each other or are the jokes about ten's tiny pp just for lolz"

also play-fighting where you'll both end up in a heap of giggles

and it literally comes out of nowhere too

you just be chilling and oop suddenly you're wresting with your boyfriend

you know he's getting a lil too comfortable when he will just fall asleep on you

literally no matter what you're doing, if he's feeling tired he'll just flop on you

lowkey crushing you but it's fine, he's comfortable

"babe, i need to finish this thing"

"i know, lemme just have a quick nap here"

and you'll end up not being able to move because he's fully fallen asleep on you

on the topic of sleeping/cuddling, ten doesn't really mind how you sleep together

he's totally fine being the big spoon

but also he won't say no to sleeping in your arms if you want to be the big spoon

lots of random whispers into your ear to try make you laugh

you're lying there like "??? what is this boy even talking about" but it's entertaining

he'd also randomly poke you in the sides as you're trying to sleep and make you squirm

maybe even tickle you just for fun lol

you two will lie together anywhere

okay so since you're dating ten, you're stuck with yangyang for life

i'm talking in his bed, the couch in the wayv dorm, the subway, everywhere

♡ relationships with other members ♡

since ten is such an older brother figure for him, you automatically become an important person in yangyang's life too bc you're always with ten

but don't be mistaken, yangyang now has another source of material to tease ten with

yangyang loves to pretend that seeing you and ten be affectionate together is physically sickening, and will sometimes bring hendery in on the teasing

likes to tease ten that you're only with him because you're actually secretly blind

but you know that yangyang is really happy for you and ten

likewise, the other members all accept you really fast

probably because you're always at their dorm with ten lol

they all like to tease him and say "omg this must be the end of the earth because ten is dating someone!" but they would be really disappointed if you guys broke up

♡ jealousy/pda/flirting ♡

ten is sooooo greasy with his flirting

he's always pulling really cringey lines out of nowhere

and he KNOWS they're cringey, that's why he says them

also he's really cocky with it too lol

but the second you flirt back he's like "oh my god" and doesn't know how to act

ten absolutely loves showing you off

loves giving you kisses in public, holding your hand, just generally showing the world that you're taken

i reckon it would come from a slightly possessive part of him

like "this is my partner and no one else gets to have them" type beat

but obviously not to the point when it gets abusive lol

he just wants everyone to know you chose him and he's with you

i get the feeling that ten would get jealous if he saw people getting too friendly with you

if he saw someone flirting with you he'd stop it right away

he wouldn't confront the person about it, in fact he probably wouldn't even acknowledge them

he'd just walk over and get your attention and drag you away

♡ disagreements? ♡

honestly i could see his jealousy causing disagreements/arguments sometimes

ten would joke about how you're trying to ditch him for someone else, but you know it's coming from a place of insecurity

he could feel insecure that he's going to lose you

because GAWD DAMN you're so wonderful and you chose him out of everyone??

so he's always worried that you might be looking for other options even when you're just having a friendly conversation with someone

initially you'd tell him to give you space and not be so jealous all the time

but when you actually realise where the jealousy is coming from, you'd feel bad

it would hurt your feelings that ten would think you'd ever cheat on him or flirt while you were dating him

and it would probably take a while for you to understand where each other are coming from

but after awhile and a lot of honest conversations he'd relax and you'd have a better understanding of his insecurities

♡ dates/texting/social media ♡

your dates are always very unplanned and spontaneous

he will just text you something like "meet me down at the store in 15 mins, we're having a picnic at the park"

or you'll go shopping together and pick ugly outfits out for each other

ten is really good at texting you regularly

the texts are...all over the place sometimes, but at least they're consistent

likes to send you pictures of funny things he's seen that day

like maybe a funny hat someone's wearing or a dog with a colourful vest on

also writes really long paragraphs about embarrassing things he's done today

you never get a good morning text

it's always something like "i tripped and accidentally pushed a pregnant lady down the subway stairs and then ran away because i didn't know what to do"

but always very entertaining

around 40% of his social media is pictures of you two together

like don't get me wrong, he loves showing you off, but he also likes showing himself off too LMAOO

he takes really good selfies of you two together though

and they're always really aesthetic with good lighting

likes to do homemade photoshoots with you where you get all dressed up and take pics for insta

even if you don't want to be in a photo yourself, he's making you be his personal photographer

throughout the course of your relationship your photo taking skills have increased tenfold due to the amount of photos he gets you to take of him

but it's always heaps of fun

♡ languages/"i love you" ♡

i think ten would probably prefer to speak with you in english or korean, simply because i feel like he is the most comfortable with them

if your native language was something other than that, i feel it could go one of two ways

either he'd just say "fuck it, what's adding another language to my collection" and learn it really quick

orrrr he would try his best for a little while but be too tired from speaking literally four other languages and just kinda eventually give up lol

it's not because he doesn't want to, it's because he can talk to you in a language you both already know and so he's not worried about a language barrier

ten would be the first one to say "i love you"

you wouldn't be doing anything exciting or unusual when he said it

you'd just be cuddled up on the couch and he'd just say it out of nowhere

mind you this dude is hella whipped for you, so you're not really surprised lol

it would be such a peaceful moment and you'd say it back

and neither of you would make a big deal out of it but you'd both feel really content afterwards

ugh anyways this is cute, stan wayv pls

other members: kun | winwin | lucas | xiaojun | hendery | yangyang

© 0606-hyuck 2021. All Rights Reserved.

#neowritingsnet #nct #nct 2020 #nct imagine #nct scenario #nct ten #ten nct #wayv #wayv imagine #wayv scenario #wayv ten #ten wayv #ten #ten lee #hellabts

[spnfanficpond]

Pond Diving - Imagineteamfreewill

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

“Don’t Be Koi About It” - All About You

Name: Meg

Age: 20s

Location: United States

URL: @imagineteamfreewill

Why did you choose your URL: I first started out structuring my stories as imagines, and the “Team Free Will” part was pretty obvious.

What inspired you to become a writer: Reading Supernatural fanfiction inspired me to get back into writing, but I’ve always enjoyed it. My mom likes to talk about how when I was in Kindergarten, I drew a picture about how I wanted to be an author and now I write in my free time.

How long have you been writing: According to tumblr, I’ve been writing fanfiction since 2014, but I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember.

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc? I’m a music teacher, so I sing and play piano, and I’ve played a bit of cello and tenor saxophone as well. I love movies, baking, sleeping, and a few video games.

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom? I joined sometime around Season 8 or 9, I think. I don’t really remember!

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? I really enjoy Marvel and I’ve read a lot of Marvel fics, but I don’t write for them. I like a lot of TV shows (New Girl, Parks and Rec, The Good Place, Outlander, etc), but I wouldn’t consider myself part of the fandom.

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? I love to write poetry. I had a poetry blog at truenorth-ink a while ago, but I haven’t updated it recently at all. Most of my poems aren’t published or posted anywhere.

Favorite published author: I love some of the early series by Rick Riordan and I also really enjoy poetry by Nikita Gill and Atticus. Lately, I've really been getting into Leigh Bardugo's books.

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?: I think "East" by Edith Pattou really affected me! I read it when I was in 6th-8th grade and I think about it often. I think it's something that really stuck with me and got me interested in fantasy books so much. I read it at least once a year.

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc): I love angsty stuff, and most of the time I prefer it when it has some fluff mixed in. Straight fluff is often hard for me to read because I need something that’s more realistic for my own life and point of view. I also really like whump, but that can be a lot sometimes so it depends on my mood.

Favorite piece of your own writing: I don’t know if I have a favorite, but I loved writing Back to the Start (my mermaid series) and The Switch (a canon-divergent apocalyptic Reader x Sam series). Right now, I'm really enjoying my Consort series (a Goddess!Reader x Dean series). Creating my own rules in my own little universes is one of my favorite things to do, especially since I can’t always do whatever I want in real life.

Most underrated fic you have written: Empire. I loved getting to write Boyking!Sam because it was so different from my normal Sam stories and I did a lot of research for it. I’m pretty proud that the story never got too bloody or gory, too, so if you want some Boyking!Sam that’s not drenched in blood (for lack of a better term), I’m your girl!

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show: Probably Back to the Start or The Switch. I think those two series would be amazing to see with J2, the rest of the cast/characters I included, and special effects! There’s so much I’d want to explore with both of them that I didn’t put into the series.

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s): @luci-in-trenchcoats, @sunlightdances, @supernaturalfreewill, @lipstickandwhiskey, @smol-and-grumpy, @percywinchester27, and @kaz2y5-imagines

Favorite fic from another writer:  I don’t think I could pick just one, but I’ve read all of @sunlightdances Dean fics multiple times. Her works got me through some pretty sucky times in my life and I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of her writing! I’ve also been reading her Bucky fics recently and it’s made me love Marvel fics even more than before!​

Favorite character to write: Sam Winchester

Favorite Pairing to write: Reader x Sam (Reader x Dean is a close second)

Least favorite character to write (and why): I don’t like to write for Crowley or Gabriel. Gadreel is hard for me even though I can do it, but I don’t understand Crowley or Gabriel’s personalities at all because they’re literally so far away from mine.

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor? No, although @lipstickandwhiskey and @kaz2y5-imagines really encouraged me in my writing!​

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing? I would love to write a non-Supernatural work of fiction to publish, but that’s a long way off.

How many work-in-progress stories do you have: Oh Lord, I have so many! I have at least four series and two one shots in the works right now. I've also got over 100 one shots/series plotlines written out in the notes on my phone and various Google Docs.

What are you currently working on? I’m currently working on a Cinderella series, my Underworld series, my Puer Rex series, my Consort series, an Author!Sam fic, and an Author!Dean fic. I also write stories for my Words series now and again.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing? Reading other people’s work. The intense storylines of @luci-in-trenchcoats ’s fics have gotten me to be more bold with my writing and the emotions and description in @supernaturalfreewill’s works have inspired me to let my work have more feeling.

Best writing advice you've been given: Not necessarily writing advice, but I was once told that anything worth doing is worth doing at least a little bit every day. Think about it—if you wrote even just five minutes a day, how much better will you get over the course of a month? A year?

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing: Repetition of words and commas. So many commas and so many uses of the same word over and over again. It’s a hard balance between using the word and using synonyms without sounding like I’m sitting there googling synonyms for “said”. I also tend to spend a lot of time on things that I think are super important but aren’t really important in the long run. I’m wordy as hell and my writing would be dull if I didn’t edit it as thoroughly as I do.

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction? A lot of times I have these ideas that I think would make a great series but I don’t think through them, so planning out the plot of a series (or even a standalone fic) beforehand is something I struggle with.

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why): I would love to write more fics that have the characters dealing with severe mental disorders or that take place in a mental hospital, but I’m afraid that I’ll portray something wrong and solidify harmful stereotypes about what it’s like to deal with those things.

What inspires/motivates you to write: Honestly, just wanting to write things that I enjoy. Sometimes I get sick of reading other peoples’ stuff since it’s not exactly what I want, so I just write my own!

How do you deal with self doubt: Understand that sometimes it happens. You’ll doubt yourself—everybody does. If I’m doubting myself or my writing, I’ll take a break until I remember why I write. Then I’ll remember that yeah, writing for an audience is fun, but I write because I have cool ideas I want to explore, not because I need the attention or love of strangers. Lastly, I’ll reread my old fics, especially the ones I love, and then I’ll go back and edit old fics that I haven’t looked at in a while. That way I can see how I’ve improved and I don’t feel so terrible anymore! Reading my own fics is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine, and I’ll read through my masterlists every once a while just to remind myself of the things I’ve loved, where I’ve been, and where I’m going.

How do you deal with writer's block: Like I said, I reread old fics and edit old fics that I haven’t looked at in a while. Seeing the things I’ve done before always helps to focus me. I’ll also read other people’s stuff or talk about headcanons with some friends to try and find some inspiration.

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: Lately I have been, but only because my periods of intense inspiration and productivity are getting farther and farther apart because of my job. I’ve found planning it out to be more and more helpful, especially for my series. A lot of times if I get a great idea, I’ll outline the whole plot or any significant details I want to put in that one shot/series so that I can come back to it whenever I have the time or I’m inspired for it again.

Do you have any weird writing habits: I write best in places that are unfamiliar to me or in places/times where I shouldn’t be writing. Class? Writing. Airport terminal? Writing. 4am when I have to be up at 6? Writing.

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it? Not that I remember! I feel like there’s probably been one or two over the years, but I probably just got upset about it with my friends for a while and then got over it.

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic? A long time ago, when I was writing Back to the Start, I had one person who sent me asks for every single series update. I screenshotted them and saved them on my laptop. There’s one particular one where they say that they’re happier because of my writing and honestly, isn’t that what we all strive for? That people’s lives are better because of our stories? I’ve also had some pretty great friends recently who’ve made it a point to reblog and send asks/messages on all my works, which has been so meaningful that I never replied to the asks. They’re sitting in my inbox and I go through and reread them sometimes when I’m feeling down.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be?  ​Write down everything. If you come up with an amazing piece of dialogue, even if it’s just one sentence or one person talking, or if you come up with something you’d think would be a great title… WRITE IT DOWN. It doesn’t matter if it fits into whatever you’re currently writing or not, it’ll come in handy! I don’t know how many times I’ve gone through my idea list and found really obscure lines/titles/inspiration that didn’t make sense when I wrote them down, but are now exactly what I need to finish a fic. Even if you don’t end up using it, jotting down your ideas is still writing, and that’s good practice!

#pond diving #spnfanficpond

[gifted-burnout-archive]

Jim’s Best Friend

Part Nine - Stamford Bound

Word Count: 2066

Author’s Note: I decided that Jim and Y/N need a tradition. So, have a nice little chapter with fabricated backstory!

WARNING: none.

April, 2006.

"Am I proud of myself?" Jim repeated the question, a smile erupting onto his face. "Honestly, kinda. Nice knowing I made Patrick and Y/N happen, and even though it's only been two months... I feel good about it." He looked to the producer.

"Oh... You meant about the whole Stamford thing..." Jim's face fell. "I, uh, yeah... It's a step up isn't it? Not like I have reason to stay here anyway."

—

Ever since January, Jim had been doing whatever he could to forget about his feelings for Pam: he booked a trip to Australia, he interviewed for the Stamford job, he had even gone out on a few double dates with you and Patrick. But, seeing both of his best friends so happy with their relationships and jobs, he couldn't help but feel left out of the loop. He had even complained to HR about Pam planning her wedding in the office, though the two patched things up quite quickly.

Both you and Pam had been in full blown wedding mode, and as her in-office bridesmaid, she asked at the end of February, you were helping with Save the Dates, dress colours, flower arrangements, everything. And you enjoyed it, being swept up in the whirlwind of love that filled the air.

You and Patrick had been dating as official boyfriend and girlfriend for about a month and a half, and you couldn't remember a relationship that made you happier. You even moved The Notebook from your handbag into a drawer in your apartment, since you were fully commited to an exclusive relationship now. Poker at Jim's was the best thing that had happened to you in a while, and the whole office knew it.

You were even more bubbly than the bride-to-be, managing to keep a smile on your face through all of Dwight's bullshit, and you were making more sales than ever before. And despite you and Patrick deciding to take things slow, more for your sake than anything, the bi-weekly date nights had added colour and purpose into life again. You hadn't felt so good in a relationship, and in general, for years.

As you finished up on another big sale, an email pinged up on your screen from Jim. You glanced over, but he was pretending to be busy so that Dwight wouldn't bother him, and you instead focused on the email.

Do you think I could talk to you before the casino tomorrow? In private? Need your advice on something. - J xx

You pulled out your keyboard and quickly began typing back, sending the message over quickly before your phone rang again. Jim opened the reply email as soon as he received it, scanning over the computer screen.

Of course, why don't we go to the park after work? Just us two. Get hot dogs for dinner, my treat? - Y/N/N xx

Jim smiled at the message, trying to remember the last time you had both gone for a Hot Dog Date, or HDD. It would have had to be before you went to Spain the year before. It first occurred the year Jim arrived at the office, you had only been in sales for a few months yourself, promoted from the warehouse. It was a Friday, and you were complaining about having to go shopping straight after work. Pam was taking a sick day, and Jim offered to buy you dinner. It wasn't a date or anything, and when you both decided that hot dogs couldn't be topped, a tradition begun.

Anytime either of you were too stressed or tired or simply needing a chat, a HDD took place. A walk in the nearby park, followed by Hank's Hotdogs on your favourite park bench overlooking the pond, and then the pair of you just talked. For hours. The only way you left that bench was when the rain came down too hard for your umbrella to bear, or the night enveloped you in a cold that threatened catching the flu. That first time, Jim told you about college, about feeling stuck at Dunder Mifflin, about not knowing what to do with his life, and you shared the real reasons you never ended up in college: how you started working full time in the warehouse when your mom got sick, how Michael took you under his wing and got you into the sales position.

A thousand times yes.

He responded, and the pair of you got back to work, only stopping for coffee breaks with Pam and another one of Michael's meetings.

—

"So..." Jim started as you sat down beside him on your bench, handing him a hot dog and setting down two cans of soda on the bench between you. "How's Patrick?" He asked, and you sat back.

"Not a chance, Halpert. You called for the HDD, you share first. Them's the rules." You said, biting into your hotdog with enthusiasm. You had been eating healthy with Patrick, and as much as you loved the whole 'eat good, feel good' thing, you missed junk food. He sighed, and looked out at the pond, his eyes following the ducks that swam around for a few minutes, chewing on his hot dog as he thought. You stayed quiet, letting him think through it all, he usually did this. Sometimes, it would be twenty minutes before either of you spoke, but the silence was warm and relaxed. There was no expectation.

"I think I'm going to transfer to the Stamford branch." Jim said finally, and you looked over at him. Before you could ask, he continued. "There's an opening for Assistant Regional Manager, the money's better... It's only a few hours drive away. And I already interviewed..."

"So the other day, when you were at a doctor's appointment..." You trailed off, and Jim nodded.

"Dwight gave me the idea, if you could believe it... And I need to go somewhere new Y/N. It's not like I'll move up in Scranton... Not like I'll move on." He sighed out, and took the last bite of his hot dog, washing it down with some grape soda.

"I..." You stopped, taking a sip of your own beverage. "I get it. And while Michael's speech on the boat was motivational, it wasn't exactly realistic." You shrugged, leaning forward on your knees. "Pam loves you, but Roy is her fiancé. She loves him more."

"You... You heard what Michael said?" Jim asked, and you looked over with a smile.

"Yeah... Came looking for him, found you both deep in the throws of success speeches." You giggled, and Jim smiled back a little. "Can't believe he thought we would get together." You added, and Jim nodded.

"Could you imagine? The anarchy would be neverending." He chuckled, and you were glad you could cheer him up a little. It was shit, being in a situation where no-one was wrong. Roy was good to Pam, Pam was a wonderful woman, and Jim couldn't help being in love with her. He sat up straight, and stood up, offering you a hand to get up. You took it, rising to your feet and looking up at him with a raised eyebrow. "So, what about you?" Jim asked, the pair of you beginning a stroll around the pond, the lamps overhead slowly turning on as the sun set, painting the rolling clouds in colour.

"I think I'm in love." You said decidedly, and Jim stopped in place.

"Really?" He asked, his eyes lighting up with joy, and you let out a soft laugh.

"Oh, it's too early to say anything but... I don't know, Patrick has agreed to take things slower than he's used to, and he just... He makes me happy?" You went pink. To think that only months ago, you were still with Brian. Jim pulled you into a hug, picking you up and spinning you round. You squeaked in response, the pair of you sharing a laugh as he put you down.

"You deserve it, Y/N. I expect to be you maid of honour." He teased you a litte, and you elbowed his side playfully.

"Don't get too ahead of yourself. I just, I'd like it to last." you shrugged, continuing to walk.

"I'm glad he's over Jennifer." Jim made the offhand comment after a few minutes of strolling, and you glanced over.

"Jennifer as in Jennifer Young?" You asked, and Jim nodded, frowning when you did.

"What's up?"

"He's out with her tonight... Some other friends from work too, of course. I just didn't realise she was the ex girlfriend." You said slowly. Patrick had talked about her an awful lot during the last two months, but you just thought she was a friend to him like Jim was to you.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about it Y/N. They ended in January, amicably. Maybe they just lost the romantic spark, cut it off?" Jim suggested, and you nodded in agreement. There was never any point in overthinking friendships, it would only make you feel worse.

"You're right... Oh! I'm bringing him along to the casino night tomorrow, he can finally meet the office. Meet Pam!" You said with a smile, slowing down as you spotted an ice cream shop across the street. "Do you want ice cream?" You asked suddenly, and Jim grinned, throwing an arm over your shoulder.

"You are adorable." Jim said, and you looked up at him, still waiting for an answer. "Yes, of course I want ice cream." He rolled his eyes, and you exited the park together, crossing the street and walking up to the store counter.

"You know, there's rumours going around about Dunder Mifflin going international..." You said after ordering a strawberry ice cream and sprinkle cone. "Overheard Jan talking about it on the phone at the Women in the Workplace meeting."

"Where would the office be based?" Jim asked, getting two scoops of cookie dough flavour in a cup. You paid and walked back towards the park, Jim digging into his dessert by your side.

"Either Madrid or Vienna... I thought I would talk to her next time I see her, see if it's still happening. I don't know now though, since Rick and I..." You said, licking the ice cream slowly. The idea of Jim leaving suggested that maybe you should try something new too. You had been at the Scranton branch three years more than he had.

"They could use you! Your Spanish is... Well, I don't know Spanish, so I can't be sure, but I bet your Spanish is great." Jim encouraged it, and you smiled, letting out a breath. The pair of you slowed down, walking along the rickety wooden dock and taking a seat at the end, the half moon shining down onto the midnight blue water.

"Is this it then?" You asked, looking up, taking another lick of your ice cream, catching a drip before it hit your hand. "The end of an era? The three musketeers, no more." You said, and Jim shook his head.

"Not a chance... But, maybe... Maybe it's the mid season break? A chance for all of us to take a breather, reunite for the thrilling finale, end with a bang." He said with a grin.

"There's nothing thrilling about office work, Halpert." You reminded him with a giggle.

"On the contrary, Y/L/N. Because, while my time left at Scranton may be short, I can say with complete honesty." He stopped, taking your free hand in a gesture of faux affection. "For a day to be thrilling at the office, there simply has to be you and I... And Dwight so we can slowly torture him to insanity." He smirked, and you burst into laughter. Once it died down, you and Jim fell into that comfortable silence once more, finishing your ice creams.

The walk to his car was short, the car ride home quick, and you gave his hand a squeeze as you got out in front of your apartment.

"I do not know what in the world I would do without you, Jim." You said honestly, a smile on your face. "So if you leave, I have to get at least one email a day."

"No matter how many times you make me watch it, Y/N, I will never, ever be Ryan Gosling." Jim pouted, and you rolled your eyes.

"Night, Jim."

"Night, Y/N."

--

Tags: @imsuperawkward​

#au #jim halpert #michael scott #pam beesly #dwight schrute #the office #jim halpert x reader #jim x reader #office au #reader #reader insert #reader is female #romance #friendship #pam and jim #jim and pam #slow burn #from season 1 #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #john krasinski #steve carell #jenna fischer #rainn wilson #jackryanplz #part nine

[dangan-happy]

give me back my glitter, monomi!!!

hi mods, i hope things are doing well for all of you.. i don't usually do things like this, but I'm desperate, i guess. i don't really have anyone to go to. i DO have online friends, but they're already busy with their own problems and i don't want to make it worse.

since lockdown and online school started, my executive dysfunction is getting worse. i keep submit my assignments past due date. it's so hard for me to start working for some reason... especially past the due dates. i usually had my energy and motivation in this kind of stuff after some time recovering (even though it took months...), but after almost a year, i just can't seem to grasp that energy and motivation anymore. the feeling of overwhelm and fear keeps holding me back.

my parents don't help either. they keep me up until 12 or 1 am almost every nights doing extra chores. I'm more focused at nights, so i feel exhausted and passed out the whole day most of the time. if i tell them i have assignments to do, no matter how important it is, they would get angry and threaten to punish me by taking my devices away (which is not good bc i need them for school).

i did ask for help in a server i used to be in, they said sleeping, showering, and taking walks would help. but I'm not allowed to go outside, and if I *do* sleep, I don't have much time for assignments except for chores given by my parents. showering and pacing around my room wont help either. and if i DO get time to do my assignments, i would be scared and doubting to do it and find myself staring blankly at the wall for a long time.

i can't even do my own hobbies like drawing and reading novels because i keep worrying about my assignments!!!! but like i said before.. it's so hard to start working and stay focused. i tried so hard, but i keep blanking out.. and my hands refused to work. i swear, i really tried and i HATE being not able to work like any other normal students.

I'm scared for my future. my grades decide for my future and my family depend on it. I'm very close on graduating highschool. I'm the oldest child of two, yet I'm not showing a good example infront of my younger brother (who is 7 btw). I swear I'm trying to be a better person, not just for my family but also for myself.... I want to work hard, I want to be a good student like I used to be but I find it very difficult. I feel so alone.

that's all i could remember in my mind. thinking about it in more details make me feel horrible. i wouldn't ask for advices because i doubt they could help me anymore (although the efforts would be appreciated), but may i ask for encouragement from komaeda, rantaro and/or taichi fujisaki? (if all three can't make it, then I'll ask for taichi only instead if that's no trouble) i keep feeling about giving up and i don't want that. maybe a little push? my English isnt my main language, i hope i make sense. thaank you and have a nice day!

H-Holy moly with a side of macaroni, kiddo. That’s a huge plateful right there; you truly have been going through a lot, huh? Don’t worry about your English, by the way; for it not being your main language, you did a great job! Phew, for a moment there, I was almost ready to program some advice. Heh, see what I did there, kiddo? A-Anyway, I’m just glad you spoke up about just wanting some encouragement and a bit of a push instead. I hope a average programmer like myself can do just that.

Kiddo, I acknowledge that things are really rough for you right now. I-It probably feels like you’re up against this huge computer virus that you can’t seem to destroy or shake off. O-Okay, that was sort of a bad, bias metaphor, so I’ll say something else. It... I-It probably feels like despair; despair that might feel too overwhelming for you. But while I may know more about programming than anything else first, I do know something else that isn’t related to programming, and that is: You can and will get through this. I-I believe in the power of hope, and you should, too! I have hope in you, kiddo, and I mean that. I have hope that you’ll be able to fix your academic issues; hope that you’ll continue to work hard and better yourself as a individual; hope that you’ll succeed and show others just how talented you truly are. Of course, I know you didn’t ask for advice, b-but just keep in mind that if you ever need to confide in someone, please confide in someone. Don’t hold it all in. Whether it be me, someone else on this blog, or someone else entirely in your life, just try not to bottle it all up, o-okay?

I see a bright, hopeful future for you, kiddo. I-I’m serious! I’m more serious than when I finished my most recent programming project last minute, and that project was... a rather important, huge one. L-Like I said, things are rough right now, but that doesn’t determine your future. As long as you try your best, th-then what more can anyone ask for? I-I only ask for the best from my child, and so, the same goes for you, too, kiddo. J-Just do your best to stay on the side of hope, and keep your head held up high. I’ll even help you with gaining some hope of your own, if you want.

I-I know you didn’t ask for one, but if hugs count as giving you a little push, then mind if I give you one, kiddo? Y-You deserve it for having to deal with this much despair and fighting back against it. I hope some of this made you feel better and gave you what you wanted. I’ll be on my computer if I’m needed again, kiddo.

-

Hey there anon, don't worry about it. I'm happy to help out. Things are going pretty well for me, thanks for asking, but let's focus on you now. I'm real sorry you're so desperate. Yeah, this whole blog thing is an interesting way to do things, but I'm glad we can be an outlet for you, at least for now. That's a real nice thing for you to do, worrying about your friends like that. Just know that you don't have to keep things like this in. You're not a burden, and you don't have to stay quiet. I can't say I know too much about executive dysfunction, at least at a personal experience level, but I do have a general idea of what it is. Times are freaking crazy. It makes sense that you're relapsing, as crappy as that is. You said that fear is holding you back, and is there something specific that makes you afraid? Maybe exploring that will help you out a little.

Yeah, it doesn't sound like your parents are any help at all! What chore is important enough for you to stay up past midnight? That seems more than a little crazy in my book, and I think that's probably a big thing that's holding you back from getting stuff done. You've obviously heard this before, but sleep is important. With the chores thing and device thing combined, yeah, they're a huge roadblock. Yeah, that is some pretty good general advice you got from the other server, but yeah, I don't think that's gonna be too helpful for your specific situation. Is there any way you could motivate yourself? That's another thing that doesn't help in all situations, but it's something to keep in mind. Hey, you can't help the fact that you don't work like other students, you can't control your feelings all the time, and that's ok. It sounds like you're stuck in a cycle of chores, minimal sleep and stress over assignments, and that would take a toll on anyone. Could you use your hobbies as a way to motivate yourself? Maybe work for five minutes, then read or draw for five minutes?

Hey, you're almost graduating, and I think that's awesome! Even if you're struggling a little now, you've come a long way. Honestly, I don't think you should feel too guilty about not being a good example. Honestly, I don't think you're a bad example at all. The odds are kind of against you, and you got things and people actively making it harder. I can tell how hard you're working, and that's seriously amazing. You've sure as hell earned my respect. I think you're actively fighting to be the person you want to be, and I'm so proud of you for that. You're not alone, that's for sure. I'm no stellar student myself, and I've seen a whole lot of people give up way faster than you have. It's ok, you got your point across, and you don't gotta think about it anymore if you don't want to. Honestly, yeah I don't think I have a whole lot of advice aside for this. I think you wanna talk to teachers, or a counselor, or any other professional who can get you some extra help. There's not a lot I or any non professional can do on our ends, and I think the extra help would really help you out. Yeah, you sure as hell shouldn't give up. You're so close, and you're not as hopeless as you think you are. I can tell you're fighting for this, and I know you can make it all the way through. It might take a little bit of extra work, but I know you're tough and resourceful enough to see this through to the end. You're already a good person, and continuing to want to be better is really impressive. You're an amazing person, and you can handle this ok? Try to have a little faith in yourself. Honestly, your English seems fine to me, I never would have guessed it wasn't your first language. Anyways, I really hope this helped, I wish I could do more for you. You can do this, I know you can. I hope you have a nice day too!

My my Anon, your Luck seems to be all over the place. Truly Despair is trying to sink it’s disgusting claws into your life. Your English was fine Anon. You did a good job if I do say so myself, hehe. I’m glad you were able to calm and talk to us! I may not be the best but I shall try everything in my power to raise your Hope.

For starters, friends are supposed to help each other, it’s what makes you friends after all! If they are uncomfortable with you venting or that’s what you think, try asking them first before doing so, sometimes people aren’t ready to handle emotions like that. This pandemic has done a number on many of people. I’m sorry that it’s been going worse for you. Turning in assignments on time must be hard as well. But in my opinion, turning them in is better than not turning them in at all. Doing your work is also very important. I’m glad that even if you do have little energy, you try to use it to do your work. Trying to get energy to do anything is hard as well. I’d consider that burn out. Sometimes you just need time for your brain to heal, to process things that are happening in your life. I’m sure it’s quite overwhelming, how school has to take extra precautions and be online, or a hybrid class. It must all be very difficult to grasp.

Your parents seem to be a bit...strict? Having you up and doing chores for that long and that late isn’t good for anyone. It seems you tried explaining to them beforehand, but I’d like to see if you could try one more time. If that doesn’t help, maybe talk to a family member to help you out in some way? Maybe they help make your parents listen to you.

Hehe sorry, I’ve just been giving you advice this entire time! My bad, can’t help trying to help people, even if I’m garbage. Anon, I applaud you for coming this far, through all this crap and Despair, you’ve been trying your best to push on! Even through the darkness you’re still trying to be a good student and do your work! I’m so proud of you! I’m glad that you’re trying to take steps to help improve your energy as well, taking care of yourself is very important in any situation, no matter how little energy that you have! Once you graduate you won’t have to worry about this stuff for a while, and maybe things will get easier! I know your brother knows you’re trying your best, he can see it I’m sure! I hope you don’t mind I give you a hug! Hopefully it’ll help take the weight of your shoulders and give you some Hope.

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