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temis-de-leon · 2 months

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Pick me girls and Dateables - Part 3

Characters: Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon and Simeon (x reader, separately)

Part 1 - Lucifer, Mammon and Levi (x reader, separately)

Part 2 - Satan, Asmo, Beel and Belphie (x reader, separately)

Masterlist

CW: pick me girl behavior, suggestive, mentions of sex, mentions of violence and threats, mentions of concubines (no concubines, tho), implied marriage (??), jealous mc, some fluff, some hurt, some comfort, the most ooc out of every part of the series, Barbatos's part is based on one of his chats (A patissier's suffering?)

A/N at the end.

Diavolo

So the Devildom had concubines, what about it? It's not like Diavolo had any concubines. You were his only partner and, apparently, the first one in a long while. You had nothing to worry about.

Still, it was impossible not to feel so dejected when every single one of the demons in his court buttered him up so blatantly, not caring that you were next to him, arms linked and fingers intertwined.

And he smiled. Of course, what else could he do but smile? He had a duty to fulfill and that probably meant keeping certain people happy, right?

At least, that was the mantra in your head. Your heart kept hurting itself, but having a reason made it manageable.

"Well? Have you thought about it?"

You turned to your side and stared at the demoness beside you. She was mesmerizing and looking at her directly made you lose focus.

Have I thought about it? I haven't stop thinking about it.

"Remember that I'm acting on behalf of his wellbeing" she said sweetly, caressing your wrist like she wanted to flirt with you "And I guess I could make you happy too"

That made you laugh without an ounce of humor. Both of you knew she wasn't being serious about that one and you wondered why she said it in the first place. Making her Diavolo's concubine would make her his wife in everything but paper. Did she expect giving you orgasms would make you happier about it?

"Leave me alone" you whispered against your drink, not trusting your voice to act decently.

"How can you be so selfish?" she spat, leaving you speechless "This is for his own good. How long will you live, human? Do you expect him to be alone after your death? My only wish is to keep him company once you're gone and starting now would make the transition easier. He'll still love you, sure, but this way he could be happier. How can you not understand something so simple?"

A demon she was, you remembered. Had you been a regular human, you would've believed her concerned face, but to you it was obvious how impatient she was and how much she wanted to leave you there, alone and breaking, so she could finally speak to Diavolo.

"MC"

Both of you jumped, turning around just to see Barbatos's unfazed smile.

"Lord Diavolo asks for you" he informed when you didn't answer, too surprised to react. "Follow me if you please"

"If I may" intervened your companion, close to giving you a heart attack "I must speak to Prince Diavolo. It's an urgent matter"

The butler looked at you, asking for your permission, but you didn't know how to react. It seemed your throat decided to stop working at that exact moment.

"Very well, then"

The demoness eagerly jumped at his words, not wasting a second in leaving the corner you were occupying to look for the prince, who had finally stopped talking to his subjects and was sitting alone in his throne.

Barbatos stared at her before offering you his arm.

"You have nothing to worry about"

He seemed confident, so you believed him. However, the distance you walked towards the throne felt longer than ever.

Your boyfriend looked unnaturally serious at your arrival, an expression his face was not made for. It softened when he saw you, but, still, he didn't fully smile.

"My love, come here" he palmed his thigh and not in a million years would you reject that offer.

Diavolo smiled at the speed you moved, barely restraining himself from kissing you. Instead, he turned to the demoness and presented her to you.

"I believe you've met her already, MC. Did you know about her offer? Did you know she wishes to serve me?"

He patiently waited for your answer, holding you against his chest and caressing your hip bones with the pad of his fingers and the tip of his nails, making you shiver.

Serve? That's the word she decided to use? She wasn't lying, sure, but it was far from the intention she actually had.

"We talked about it" you said in the end.

There was silence for a few seconds, broken only by the sounds of people still drinking and dancing. Diavolo and Barbatos looked at each other, having a conversation no one else could hear.

"I take it you rejected her proposition?"

Obviously.

You nodded and he cupped your face with a sad frown. Your heart skipped a beat.

"That's a pity, my love"

For a moment you moved away from him, too lost in your incredulity to answer or even acknowledge the crazy smile on the demoness's face, but, not even a second later, Diavolo brought you back to him and continued.

"She would've make a wonderful lady in waiting"

Huh?

"Wait, what?"

Both of you ignored the woman, who looked like she'd been slapped in the face with something rotten, which, in her mind, was probably accurate.

"I asked to serve you, my Lord, not the human..."

"Beware your words" interrupted Barbatos, his tail swishing behind him like a whip.

She stopped talking then, very obviously swallowing her opinions. Diavolo speaked again.

"By serving you, she'll serve me. Give her an opportunity to make you happy and, if she fails, we'll get rid of her"

What did he mean, get rid of her? You opened your mouth to ask, but he jerked his leg, making you jump. His smile was wide, but his eyes held a warning.

You decided to let it go.

"Okay"

Diavolo laughed as loud as he usually did, finally hugging you and ignoring both Barbatos's reprimanding glance and the demoness's sour expression.

But wait.

Wait.

He said 'lady in waiting'. Like... Uh...

Were you getting married?

Barbatos

'I'll be waiting in the classroom'

That's what his last message said.

And you'd never be dumb enough to reject that invitation. ¿Spending time with your boyfriend and eating his homemade cookies? Hell yeah!

You just had to be careful not to catch Beel's attention, avoiding the main hallways and hiding between the taller students, which were almost everyone.

By the time you finally arrived to the classroom (you got lost, but you'd never admit that to anyone), you were fairly sure all of your classmates had already gone home.

Alas, you were wrong.

Barbatos's figure was as composed as ever, but you knew him just enough to know how irritated he actually was. Were you this late? It was never your intention!

But no, no, that wasn't the root of the problem.

You knew her, kinda. Not personally, but you'd seen her a lot of times in the castle, cleaning plates in the kitchen or clearing up the table after one of Diavolo's dinner parties. She looked weird in the school's uniform instead of the one the maids used, but you guessed they too had to go to RAD, just like the brothers did.

So why did Barbatos look so uncomfortable?

Both of them stared at you when you entered, walking towards him while staring at her in search of an explanation.

"MC! You're finally here"

He smiled at you with candid eyes, discreetly holding your hand and restraining himself from kissing you in front of the girl, who cleared her throat to break the moment and grinned at Barbatos like you weren't there at all.

Foolish mistake if you'd ever seen one.

Your boyfriend frowned before turning in her direction, clearly giving her one last oportunity before kicking her out of there and reclaiming his alone time with you.

The girl purposely made herself meek, lowering her gaze as if making visual contact with him was too much, something you could totally understand.

"Master Barbatos, please, I'm begging you. I just wish to learn"

You raised your eyebrows and waited for his answer. Instead, she kept talking.

"I'll follow every one of your orders, sir, I promise" arms behind her back and body slightly swaying, you now understood why he was in the edge of snapping "The others don't appreciate you as much as I do. I'll be your best student"

He stared at her, you stared at her, she stared at him, batting her lashes with a weirdly fake innocent smile.

Her demeanor vanished when the Royal Butler spoke.

"I recomend you stop this nonsense at once" he finally said, breaking the uncomfortable silence "You're embarrassing yourself and Lord Diavolo's service's good reputation"

The poor maid gaped like a fish, although you weren't feeling bad for her.

You stayed behind him, closing the distance as much as possible while staring at her over his shoulder. If you ate a cookie now, would it be too much? He'd probably forgive you, but you'd rather not risk your chances.

"You will stay on cleaning duty as long as I say and you will stop the rumors that I know have been traveling all around the castle"

She lowered her gaze again, this time in submission and humiliation. His voice sounded venomous and you could swear the room's temperature dropped a few degrees. The air was still and smelled damped and rottening.

"If the gossip hasn't disappear by midnight, rest assured, I will make sure you keep your mouth fully shut"

The threat was clear in his words, something that shouldn't, but still surprised you. The maid trembled in response before bowing and running out the classroom.

You stared at the door in surprise, not turning around until he talked again.

"Do forgive me, my dear, but you know how much I dispise rats"

He sounded scarier than ever, letting his forked tongue slip between his teeth before he searched around the room, like he was trying to find more pests.

Then, he turned to you and smiled like nothing happened, holding a cookie to your mouth as the tips of his gloved fingers caressed your jaw.

"Let's forget about this ordeal, MC. After all, I saved these just for you"

Solomon

If there was something worse than feeling jealous, it was Solomon knowing you were jealous.

You thought you could catch a break, uh? Well, you couldn't be more wrong: your boyfriend knew the moment he saw you staring at that witch.

She was cute, you guessed? Nothing exceptional, but not hideous either. You wouldn't mind at all if not for the fact that she used her appearance like a nuclear weapon.

"Oh, you're so cute!" she'd told you once "I wish I was as cute as you!"

And at first you thought nothing of it. She was just being nice! A little weird about it, sure, but who wasn't weird in RAD?

Except, she wasn't looking at you when she said that, but, instead, at your boyfriend.

Of course, Solomon, unbothered as ever, was too engrossed in the cooking book he'd borrowed from the library to pay attention.

(Later that night you had to order takeout, but you were already counting on that).

The point was: she was trying too hard. You couldn't blame her, really, you dated Solomon for a reason; but still. She was getting on your nerves.

"I'm so dumb... I'll never get it! Solomon, can you help me with this?"

Opening a door with magic? Difficult? Yeah, right.

"I've never dated a human before... How is it, MC? I bet Solomon is a great boyfriend"

He has his moments.

"Solomon! Sit with me, I saved you a seat! Why? Oh, I concentrate better when you're here!"

Shit, could she concentrate at all?

"You're so powerful! You'll have to let me have him for a night, MC! He could teach me a couple of things..."

You closed your fist, staring at her with a frown while talking yourself out of mauling her across the table. You didn't need Lucifer's rants about impropriety and self restraint on top of all of this.

"MC and I have a lesson tonight" the sorcerer said with a polite smile, unusually kind eyes and an unreadable expression "Would you like to tag along?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes, lowering her gaze in embarrassment, although you weren't sure if she was really embarrassed.

"Could we hang out alone, tho? I don't want MC to see how dumb I am. They're so much better than me! I bet I need you more than they do!"

Well, you didn't need to study with her to know she was dumb as bricks.

You looked at Solomon, opening your eyes so much in bewilderment that even the insides of your cornea were getting dry. Not a second later he turned to you, smiling with mischief, and then you remembered who were you actually dating.

"It's either this or nothing. Be in Purgatory Hall at 6, we won't be waiting for you"

The witch quickly looked at you, frustrated at his words. It wasn't ideal, you knew, thirdwheeling your crush and his partner in a study date, but what else did she expect? Every other option was plain stupid.

"Okay"

She snorted, trying to hide the disgust and disappoinment without much success. Once she left you alone, swaying her hips and her ponytail, you punched Solomon in the arm and reveled in his pain.

"MC!! Relax!"

"Don't tell me to relax!"

You tried to choke him, but he hid his neck under his shoulders before you could lift yourself to reach him better. He knew you too well.

"MC, I have an idea! You'll like it, believe me!"

"Oh, really?"

"I swear!"

Once free from your attacks, Solomon avoided your eyes and stared at his hands. It took him a couple of seconds before he could look at you again, cheeks red, while he spoke from his heart.

"I couldn't care less about her attempts, MC, but she's obviously making you uncomfortable. I won't let this keep going if I can do something about it"

"But why did you invite her to our lesson, then?"

He laughed in a carefree manner, still blushing while he took your hands in his, looking at you like he was about to uncover a precious secret.

"As your teacher, I want you to explore your potential to the maximum"

His voice lowered to a whisper and you got closer to him, letting your body shiver when his breath caressed the skin of your neck.

"Say, MC, wouldn't you like to have your very own training dummy?"

Simeon

Oh, the privileges of being friends with the most powerful demons in the Devildom.

All you had to do was pout a little and act like you were miserable, missing the warmth of the sun and the familiar scenery of the human world. Of course, all of them knew you were exaggerating, but none would take the risk of actually making you sad.

So there you were, waiting for your drinks while Simeon sunbathed outside, sitting in one of those ornate metal chairs and writing some loose ideas for his next book in a napkin. After all, you'd be crazy if you ever went to the human realm without using the opportunity to have a date with your sweetheart of a boyfriend.

If not for the brightness of his suit, he would look like a college student from an old movie, all dreamy and focused in his own world.

And, apparently, you weren't the only one thinking that.

There were a group of girls outside the cafe, all of them young, maybe even fresh out of high school, staring at Simeon like he was some kind of celebrity. Maybe it was his angelic charisma? Maybe it was just his good looks? Whatever the reason, the girls seemed ready enough to conquer the world and they wanted to start with your boyfriend.

You studied your surroundings, realizing with an uncomfortable weigh in your chest just how busy the place was. There was no way you were getting your order in less than five minutes, even being the first in line, so the only thing you could do was wait and hope the girls wouldn't bother Simeon too much.

They stayed in a closed circle for a few moments until one of them finally dared to go and talk to him. She tried to sit in the second chair, but Simeon stopped her with a quick movement of his hand, probably saying he was saving it for you.

That made you laugh, but you were starting to get second hand embarrassment. You could tell she was trying hard to catch his attention, twirling her hair around her finger and hugging her waist to make her breasts look bigger.

You couldn't see Simeon's face, but, by the way he was scratching the paper, it was obvious he was losing focus on whatever he was previously writing, which would only make him irritated.

Fortunately, and rather rudely, the waitress finally gave you the styrofoam cups and immediately ignored you again, but you couldn't care less. The girl returned to her friends just as you stepped out of the cafe, letting you know part of what happened.

"He said he didn't know what part of him made him look interested in me" she snarled with a hint of hurt in her voice, trying to hide it with offense "That I should find someone that actually finds me entertaining"

Her friends gasped and you had to stop yourself from laughing. He wasn't usually that snappy, but she did interrupt his daydreaming.

"I don't even care what he thinks, he's just some dude! I can catch anyone I want, you know?"

Anyone but him, apparently, but the only thing her friends could do was agree.

Shaking your head and holding one drink in each hand, you stopped the eavesdropping and hurried towards him, leaning over his shoulder to kiss his cheek and smiling softly when he raised his hands to stroke your hair. He was warm from the sun, but he still curled close to you even after letting you sit next to him.

The girls audibly gasped at your actions, clearly offended by your presence as if Simeon would change his mind if they waited enough.

You couldn't bring yourself to pay them attention. Not when he was caressing your knuckles with such love in his touch and a feeling so deep in his eyes that it made your heart violently stop.

"So what were you writing?"

He smiled and eagerly showed you the napkin. By the time you turned around, the girls were already gone.

Tagging the party: @hello-gloomy @the-sassiest-toaster @hero-nii-blog @yourlocalyin @elaemae @eliciria @darkflowerav

Author's note:

Simeon's part sucked the soul out of me (not in the good way), but at least it's well-written. Also, this will be the last part for now: I don't know Mephisto, Raphael or Thirteen enough, so they won't be in any of my posts (for now)

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sumoattack-gooddog · 8 days

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Here’s the thing about WatcherTV,

Let’s talk about what’s being offered —

Let’s talk the financial —

Let’s talk the unanswered —

Let’s talk the solution —

Cumulatively since they began — trailers included — Watcher has 377 videos available for view. Netflix has 17,000 titles. Episodes, movies, and most recently games. If the minimum price of Netflix at $6.99/month provides that, how can one justify $6/month for WatcherTV? 2.2% of Netflix’s size is what Watcher is offering — all of which are currently free on YouTube.

The closer similarity, of course, would not be Netflix but Dropout. The prices of their subscriptions are equivalent, but again, what isn’t, is the amount of content. There is already a significant backlog of videos that can be consumed for new subscribers AND three different shows which post weekly. Had the company come forward with a backlog of new media at the ready to be watched, people would have been far more receptive to this proposal.

I understand that, as a creative, you have certain aspirations for making the best version of your idea. You want what you put out in the world to be as close to the image in your head as possible. Sometimes there are constraints due to time, due to money, due to manpower — so on and so forth. I recognize that. I, myself, have worked professionally, academically, and privately in film/media production. I Understand.

What I do not understand is the decision to ostracize a larger portion of your audience. Not everyone can afford a new streaming service — especially one that offers such little in return for the cost. But beyond the American-centric perspective of it. This platform isolates the majority of foreign fans, especially those who are subject to exchange rates. What I have seen some refer to as “the price of a single coffee,” for others is a week’s worth of food.

This community was beautiful and passionate and diverse as a result of its ability to be easily and freely consumed. That will be lost without change.

Furthermore, we see issue derived from the lack of transparency as to what is being offered. We are being promised “bigger and better,” new things, and the return of collapsed things. However, there is a significant lack of clarity and it is felt. Beyond Travel Season and its upcoming May time release, there is no clarity as to what (beyond the old content) people are getting. Yes, there is the vague promise of future seasons of the fan favorites, but there is no clear time as to when. If people subscribe now, how long will they be waiting for content that isn’t already free?

How can this be fixed? Frankly, good fucking question. Perusing through the comments, it’s pretty clear that a majority of fans feel blindsided and lied to. Watcher has consistently denounced capitalism and condemned corporate greed, and to what extent this behavior falls into it definitely raises some questions. I think it is worth acknowledging, they are a company that has grown to put out content. That means they are responsible for 27 (I believe) paychecks, beyond their own. But that is not the only explanation for why they’re doing this. Or their most prominent one — I’ve already acknowledged their bigger and better mindset, but their other reasoning was that they are at the mercy of advertisements. And that this will stop those.

Well, what if it didn’t? The most obvious compromise, in my mind, would be something like Peacock’s cheapest streaming option of roughly $1/month which includes ads to make up the subscription cost disparity from their ad free option. That is far more manageable for most, even with exchange rates, than $6. It would still be a luxury beyond free, but most people would be able to justify a 1 USD splurge especially while waiting for content backlogs to actually come out.

I don’t hate the Watcher company after this, but I am frustrated and disappointed by their announcement. I am sure it was not done without thought, but it does not feel like it given what they have to actually show for this decision. I have been a consumer of their content for 10yrs, and it is what helps me during troubling times — Just as Shane acknowledged caring about. I would hate to lose the connection to this wonderful community because of a narrow minded perspective on the future. I urge @wearewatcher to consider this moving forward.

#watcher #watcher tv #watcher entertainment #ryan bergara #shane madej #steven lim

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rageprufrock · 7 months

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can you please share with us more about your experiences relating to your response to the post “if you wouldn’t go to someone for advice, don’t take their criticism either” ?

(asking for a friend who’s struggling at work re: wanting validation and receiving criticism instead)

Unfortunately, very different situation for me. I had a work colleague-semi-mentor who I'd known for a long time, so it took a long time before I could really reconcile that their behavior was completely unacceptable and manipulative. It was a necessary period at the end of an increasingly toxic sentence.

As for your friend re: wanting validation and getting criticism, I do have some generalized insight on that.

One of the most difficult things about a professional career is not having clarity on your performance. Most managers aren't trained on how to manage people, which feels counterintuitive and insane, until you think about how organizations are structured: we usually progress into management after exceling as subject matter experts, which makes sense in some dimensions of work, but is cosmically cursed in so, so many other dimensions of work.

With the caveat that I can only speak to a certain species of Western aligned office for a certain phylum of profit generating organization: something I talk about with a lot of my earlier career employees and colleagues is the deep frustration of feedback, because it's multifaceted.

For a lot of folks it's the frustration and hurt of your manager never providing positive feedback for good work, because the de facto behavior in a lot of workplace environments is that silence is the positive review. It can leave you toiling away without knowing if you did well, or, knowing that you did well and not getting any acknowledgement for it.

This isn't great! A better trained and better prepared manager is as forthcoming with praise and encouragement as they are with constructive feedback. But that's an idealized workplace that doesn't exist in reality, and I think the most important thing to take away from this is that you're not in school anymore, and you can't get your validation from work. Unless you're one of the lucky ones and you work for an organization that's really invested in leadership training, you're likely to have to learn how to cope with this on your own.

You cannot and should not rely on your job for prestige or emotional validation, you shouldn't be looking to build great friendships there, to fall in love there. To be clear: all of these things are possible to gain through work, but none of them are guaranteed or even likely, and no one should expect them. Your job is the thing you do for money, so that you can do other things in life that will validate you emotionally and bring you joy--the job cannot be the thing itself. We all know people whose jobs are their entire personality, and not only is it terminally miserable sitting next to them at dinner parties, it is also not great for the person inflicting it upon you! No job will ever love you back, and you cannot, under any circumstances, let it become the whole of you, or to rely upon it for your sense of worth.

That's a long and intense way of saying: depending on the type of manager and the type of work your friend has, they may never get any validation, and they have to find a way to be okay with that.

But they also need to be honest with themselves, because is it that they're not getting positive feedback when they're delivering great work, or is it the "I turned around this 50 page presentation deck to you in two days and all you did was say that there were typos on four slides" experience?

Given the way you described it in the ask, my guess, and this is a rough one, because there isn't a lot of context here, is that they're doing work they think is good and only getting feedback that focuses on the smaller things that are wrong with it.

Firstly: hell yeah dude that fucking sucks.

Secondly: that said, you did have typos on four slides.

One of the other most significant transitions you make that nobody talks about when you move into the professional sphere is that you're no longer evaluated for effort. That can be a great or terrible thing.

That you spent 100 hours killing yourself to put this project together doesn't really matter if there's something embarrassing and dumb on page 16 that makes your boss look like an idiot in a meeting in front of the clients. As far as they're concerned, you weren't being paid for the 100 hours of effort, you were being paid for delivering something that would make them look smart in that presentation.

By that same token, if you can do that same backbreaking work in 15 minutes with a bunch of Excel macros and fuck around the rest of the day? Who cares--it's getting done, and if it's getting done well, great. Jobs are not forcing you to show your work.

But that doesn't change the sting of how much it sucks when you've worked so hard on something, and at the end of the day, the feedback you get is over something that you perceive to be petty.

Now there are a lot of different influences here: you could have a shitty manager who is just an asshole, you could be working with a fucking weirdo who needed to be shoved into more lockers as a teenager, you could be working for a sociopath--these are all possible.

But what's more likely, from what I have experienced professionally, is that you're likely working for someone who is busy, who hired you to take on something and own it, end to end, and who wants--desperately--to be able to give you work, and never have to think twice about its quality and to trust it absolutely, because it would simplify their life in some way. I'm saying this from personal experience. This is what I want--desperately--from my team, even though I know it is not realistic, and it's almost never possible in a seamless way.

So this is where it's really important that your friend be honest with themselves and evaluate whether those criticisms are--however frustrating--legitimate. Were there issues with the deliverable? Should they have done something different? Should they have communicated better? And if there's smoke there, try to work on gritting your teeth through the knee jerk emotional response and put out the fire, however small, because that's the grit that's going to help propel you through your very long professional career.

It's so, so, so frequently the little things, the rough edges, that feel so unfair to have called out. The typo on page 76. The weird formatting. That one image that uses the wrong hex code for red so it's cool instead of warm tone and that's bugging your leadership team.

But also these small things stand out in the face of an otherwise well-done deliverable. They mar the final work. I'm not saying the weight that they're given is entirely fair--it's not. But don't undercut your own hard work by letting yourself get sloppy as you're dragging across the finish line. You've worked way too fucking hard not to get the credit you deserve for all the work you did to get here. Of course it sucks that this is what anyone is going to notice instead of the broader value, but you can't control that--what you can control is building in time for a last review. Using your network of colleagues to help you give things a proof. Ensuring that you're communicating clearly with your team and manager. Fully take ownership of the stuff you can control, because that's how you're going to get your work taken seriously.

If you can do that, and you can be self-reflective and also detached enough not to let your work performance be an analog for your value, that's going to be an incredible asset as you continue to grow in your career. People say unhinged things to me all the time, and I'm not going to lie and tell you that it doesn't bother me at all anymore, but I'm really good at giving myself the beat, taking five, and then coming back with less immediately murderous reactivity to evaluate things on their actual merits. It means people aren't afraid to be honest with me when there are issues, and it means that I learn about them early enough that I can remediate them and stay a trusted partner and advisor in the workplace.

(And then I go to training and pretend the fucking 20 pound ball filled with sand is my manager and I throw him into walls yelling, "FUCK YOU DUDE," because that anger still has to go somewhere.)

I know it's probably not the answer you or your friend would want to hear, but it's the truth. I try my best to gas up my people by shouting from the rooftops when they do good work, but God knows I also make them crazy when they've spent a long time working on something only for me to tear it to shreds in editing or say, "thanks but this needs another proofing pass," and I'm sure they're plotting my death in bars about it.

#professional advice #advice

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kanmom51 · 1 year

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Firstly, I wanted to say I love your page and appreciate your honest perspective when it comes to BTS and jikook in particular. I am an “older” Army and can appreciate the viewpoint of someone who’s lived life a little and has seen many types of relationships. It’s very hard to not realize there’s something between JK and Jimin when you’ve seen examples of it time and time again in your own life or those around you. So thank you for making me feel less crazy!

I haven’t followed your page for very long and realize you may have touched on this in the past, but I was wondering what your thoughts are on this: Could V sometimes bringing up Jungkook/Jimin together or separately (usually Jungkook…let’s be real) and mentioning that they’ve hung out with him or seemingly being “encouraging” of a certain ship, possibly be his odd way of trying to distract from the real relationship he knows exists between jikook? Like in his own special Teahyung way be trying to help? For a long time, there has always been something that didn’t quite sit right with me when it came to V. I think it was his constant need for attention….don’t get me wrong, I love many things about him as well and know he can’t be very sweet and thoughtful and funny and endearing. I love them all very much. But am wondering what you think about V sounding like he sometimes encourages a taekook ship (ie, the last surprise live at JKs house or the live where he mentioned gaming with JK) because maybe in his own special way, he’s trying to protect? He does tend to do things in a very unique way. I don’t know! Let me know what you think!

Hey @sweetbslm108, welcome and thank you.

And hi @nut2019 😊

Now, I know both of these asks are kind of on the different sides of the spectrum, but I kind of felt like they can be answered together, because of the one communality, and that's, but of course, Tae THE MAN.

Also, before starting I need to say this is all my opinion. Take it or leave it.

I think I kinda talked about this here a bit too:

Let me just clarify what Tae shared in his IG story yesterday @nut 2019. It was a photo and a clip taken on the night after the movie premiere that JK and Tae went to, which was the 24-25 April 2023 - which as of today is 3 weeks ago. It's clearly that night and it's also clear it's not a date or an outing of the two alone, but a group outing with Tae and his friends (a couple from the Wooga squad and a couple I personally do not recognize). Yes, he posted it on Yellow day, but clearly has zero to do with that day.

I don't think Tae is encouraging the ship, but as an agent of chaos, he might be enjoying the aftermath of his handy work, maybe a little too much, lol.

Look, let's get serious here for a sec.

I love Tae to bits. I think it was even in one of the comments to the post I linked that someone mentioned thinking he's neuro divergent, and I was going "YES, FINALLY", because I've been saying this since forever. I'm no psychiatrist, so obviously I won't be handing out a diagnosis here, but, that said, his behavior, his quirkiness, his lack of understanding social queues and others emotions at times. The way he just says what pops to head, no matter if it has anything to do with the subject, and no matter what the consequences might be (take his 2015 radio interview fiasco literally outing JM on live air).

Tae is who he is. Always has been. And we all need to remember that the others all love him. All of them (including those we tend to champion). They might be frustrated with him at times. Angry with him. Might want to end him at times (from what JK spilled about the dumpling fight I kind of feel that was one of those times, lol), but you know, we all have those days with our loved ones too, so yeah.

In any case, whatever it may be, since the hiatus Tae has started to move in a certain recognized pattern that many Jikookers aren't happy with.

I understand the frustration that not only Jikookers have with him when it comes to that (and I'm saying that Tae stans are also feeling it). It feels like he lacks the energy to give to the fandom, interact with them, and maybe he feels that by dropping JK's name or posting a pic or clip with him he's making them happy (obviously aware of how much JK is loved), all while he obviously also is well aware of the chaos he's creating by doing so (claiming that he doesn't is a little naïve). It's kind of a minimum work maximum impact situation.

You are right @sweetbslm108 about Tae's mind being different to ours, it feels like his thought process is on a different parallel level. It's not by chance that JM called him his alien, lol. But saying that, I really don't think that this is his twisted way of going about protecting Jikook. I, personally, have no issues with him mentioning JK if it's part of the natural development of the conversation, kind of like he did during his live a few weeks back in the car. Doing so while talking about this and that, maybe also mentioning the others. They are good friends and clearly have gotten closer over the last few months (I'd say them being left for last and JM being MIA for JK did that), and it's natural they spend time together and it's great if he let's us know about it. But why only JK lately? That's what I keep asking myself, because he's not the only member he's in touch with or spent time with in the past few months. And coming live for a few minutes and dropping JK's name for what seems so purposeful, so much so that I've seen several Tae stans complaining about it. Because it doesn't feel natural. It doesn't feel like he's coming to talk to army or update them.

And I feel like it's ok to criticize him, criticize his behavior.

JK himself (there I go name dropping) said they are only human, which they are.

I keep saying it too, human beings with feelings and wants and needs, not 2 dimensional characters like many fans see them as.

And as such, they are not infallible. And they are definitely not beyond reproach.

And saying out loud, sounding said criticism, it doesn't make you a hater.

We criticize our loved ones, reprimand them when we feel they are doing wrong, and we do it out of love. So what's the difference here?

It should be part of the open discussion. Those who think it's wrong, those who don't, all respectful, no hate.

NO HATE!!

We don't do hate!!!

We love all 7 members.

We might feel more of an emotional connection with some rather than others, but we love them all, each in their own way.

And if I wasn't clear about it, then that includes Tae, even if sometimes he does things that might be infuriating.

My daughters can infuriate me at times, doesn't make me love them any less. Also doesn't stop me from letting them know I don't agree with their behavior.

I will end this by saying that we are all different people, we come from different backgrounds, different places in the world, different professions or schooling, different upbringings, different cultures, different life experiences, just different. All those are our baselines. The things that make us who we are, what we think, what we do.

And being different, all gathering here, voicing our opinions, talking to each other, hearing each other out, that will, at the end of the day make us better people. I do believe that. Being able to listen to one another and at times allow ourselves to be convinced one way or another, that makes us better.

Bottom line:

Tae is an agent of chaos. We love him, even when said chaos he is causing can be infuriating (and the thing is, all he's doing is mentioning his friend or posting a pic of them together, but it's what transpires from that due to mainly I-army that irks us so much).

We are also allowed to call him out on it.

No hate. Period.

Have a civil discussion.

You can voice your opinions here, as long as it's respectful and without hate. Not towards the members and not towards each other.

#ask

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tamelee · 10 days

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Hii tamelee! If I remember correctly, you’re studying storytelling, is that right? I wondered if you could explain in details what kind of school you’re going, or just what exactly you are doing in your studies? If it’s okay with you of course 😊

Have a good day :)

Hi~! Yeah, sure!

I did marketing, (communication and entertainment), but then finished audiovisual and graphic design because I liked that much better than learning about how manipulative the industries are tbh. Unfortunately, I found out quickly, that pretty much every job in that industry has been taken over by AI and that even me learning how to draw wasn’t going to help me with that anymore either 🥲. Then, I continued doing Storytelling in the communication sector (where, yet again I learned about all the ways people are being manipulated -.-) because it’s quite a new official study. And then, I was accepted to apply for the program that focusses more on fiction— and got in. Which I’m doing right now (though I’m almost done).

In short, what I learned about Storytelling in business is that organizations use the elements of fictional storytelling combined with science (both internally and externally) in order to influence and convince the attitude, knowledge and behavioral patterns for the right audiences that are targeted by a certain communication goal. That goes so far that even the science about our brains are dissected to figure out the best ways in which the organization can redirect your neurotransmitters and hormones to benefit the storyteller. Even if you know you’re being manipulated, (for example, through a commercial that’s shamelessly stomping on your morals through a guilt-trip, or a product in the store that’s obnoxiously being shoved in front of you), often it’s still about targeting your subconscious and trust me when I say that if you enjoy spending time on the internet, it happens to you all the time and you don’t even know it :D

And yes, companies like shueisha/VIZ are masters in this as well— hence me disappointingly complimenting that skill at times.

So, imagine my joy when I crossed the bridge toward fiction.

Fictional storytelling is where I dissect not the science of a human brain exactly, but the story that’s being told. I have to figure out all the elements and literary devices that are being used and what they mean in the story. Not what it means to me, but finding meaning through the Theme the author/creator has used, and why. It’s about how a story is structured and what impacts people on an emotional level for their benefit (mostly). Why a story works and keeps you up all night, why others are usually almost always forgotten quickly. It’s not as subjective as people may think. Interpretation doesn’t mean much unless there’s intentionally room for it. (And when something is intentional or when it’s not.) There’s also science in its logic, but that’s not something most authors/creators focus on. And they really shouldn’t have to imo. It’s also knowing about character arcs and how to implement symbolism and motifs effectively. I have to write essays on movies and books or even TED talks. It’s using knowledge to figure out the why, what and how.

I think it’s awesome as a study, but other than some creative writing lessons, it won’t help me with great prose. It’s hard for me to connect with my own emotions and body which is something a lot of great authors can do really well. Either naturally or having to have practiced the connection with their personal emotional intelligence in order to write their Truth in their own authentic way through their characters. I read many books outside of my study from scriptwriters as well which were helpful. None of it is any reassurance I’ll be able to write my own story effectively though. It’s more a guideline of sorts with knowledge and structure which a neurodivergent like me (yes, I’m diagnosed officially) really needs xD. I still have to practice a lot! ^^ Hope you have a good day as well 🌷!

#asktamelee #on storytelling #storytelling talk #personal

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wispsources · 5 months

Text

long have i seen folks in the writing community write and create DNIs on their rules for folks to abide from. which, in itself, is okay! however, people often mistake a DNI as being a boundary when the reality is that they are not.

DNIs are not boundaries, they are requests.

Please understand that what i am referring to here are DNIs that are more PERSONAL to an individual.

General DNIs that most people have the same or similar names for extremely valid and warranted reasons due to their obviously hostile, toxic, and harmful behaviors are NOT what i am talking about here.

While the reasons for personal DNIs are indeed VALID for individuals, what is discomforting for me about many that i have seen are the 'make or break' attitudes that often come with them.

i do truly believe that people should normalize making boundaries for themselves without forcing it upon others and creating ultimatums or asking for requests.

People are allowed to block folks who they do not vibe with. people are allowed to set up said boundaries. But, please DO NOT gatekeep people. i simply do not believe anybody is within their right to force people's hands without being toxic.

Remember, making a boundary is allowed but there is a difference between healthy boundaries and controlling behavior. By definition, a boundary is about YOUR own actions, not somebody else's. There is also a difference between setting a boundary, asking a request, and creating an ultimatum.

setting boundaries is fine. asking for a request is okay, sometimes. creating an ultimatum is not healthy.

A request is: i do not like this person, do not follow them. A boundary is: i do not like this person, if you follow them, then I will not follow you.

a DNI, which stands for 'Do Not Interact' is an explicit request for folks to NOT INTERACT with them if they write X or follow Y. DNIs are not always bad by themselves as they do often come with boundaries:

'dni if xyz because i will not engage in those subjects or want to be close to this person' (notice how the boundary given here is in bold.)

Please remember that DNIs alone are not boundaries though, they are requests. which, i cannot stress this enough, are not always bad. you are allowed to do whatever it is to create a safe place for yourself and curate your dashboard to your own liking.

you are allowed to have a personal DNI. it’s always okay to have them, and i am not saying that anybody shouldn't have them. ultimately, it is how you want to curate your space for yourself. folks are allowed to have their own social circles where they feel safe and comfortable and welcomed.

I also do believe that folks should be allowed to make decisions for themselves as well when it comes to personal relationships outside of social groups.

while you may not get along with a certain individual, that does not necessarily mean that it is the same for others. forcing another to 'pick' between you or another person is a very harmful mentality to have.

yes, you are allowed and you are so valid in whatever feelings you may have towards/about somebody, but that is YOUR relationship/opinion about that person alone, not anybody else's.

Folks really need to normalize that it is okay if their friends talk to somebody that they don't like on a personal level. its okay if your friend wants to remain a neutral party because they would rather not get involved. its something that shouldn't be and isn't going to be a subject of discussion for the two of you, and it should be respected by both parties.

you can have healthy relationships with boundaries without making ultimatums or requests from others that may put them in an awkward position, especially since personal DNIs are often just personal for yourself. at the end of the day, it is still up to you on what YOU want to do to curate your internet safe space, but please don't do it in a matter where it forces folks into a 'its me or them' decision. that is not fair and it can be controlling and uncomfortable.

i do believe people are allowed to feel safe, but they should not do it with a forced decision of another or make them feel like they have to make a choice between you or another.

#metal health.#therapy.#rp.#psa.#rpc psa #rpc advice #rpc help #healthy relationships #i really do want folks to understand that DNIs are truly not bad or evil #because they are not.#but people must understand that a DNI is a request #and they CAN be included with boundaries #but are not boundaries themselves #and if people do not want to follow through with said request #they should not feel forced to do so

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nanaminokanojo · 2 years

Text

Annoying

CHARACTERS: Kuroo Tetsurou X You | Kozume Kenma, Yaku Morisuke (mentioned)

CHAPTER COUNT: 1/1

WORD COUNT: 3,900

GENRE: enemies to lovers | university au | fluff?

CONTENT WARNING: profanity | strong/suggestive language | mentions of violent behavior (slight) and toxic home life

SPOILERS: n/a

collection masterlist

You pushed your tongue against your cheek. That's it. That's the last straw. A bitter grin etched itself across your lips as you stood up, averting your eyes from a certain insufferable raven head who was sitting across you. He was sporting that devil-may-care smirk as he watched your expressions morph from seeming disquietude to anger. He wasn't counting on the latter as was evident in the way his disposition suddenly dropped to alarm when you crushed the beer can you were holding with your hand and slammed it on the table.

He was especially annoying. That wasn't exactly right. Actually, he isn’t. If you were honest, it was just his usual chaff. He had been doing it for more than half your lives. Being cousins with Kenma was peaceful save for the fact that you shared a common friend group, and of course, the package came with one Kuroo Tetsurou – his best friend – who was hell-bent on making your life miserable by relentlessly plucking on your every last nerve. You tolerated his existence from the moment you knew of it because you loved Kenma to bits and you were glad someone relatively sane and has a sense of accountability was looking after him, but that came with consequences.

He seemed to get off of annoying the hell out of you, and it never changed now that you were both in university. You didn't think it would change anytime soon, and you didn't really bother to understand why he does it in the first place. He put in the effort, too, leveling his wisecracking to yours as if he actually thinks of them and rehearses them so he can execute them perfectly, timing and all, just to get a rise out of you.

From middle school to high school, your breakfast consisted of granola bars you eat on your way to school and him making a gag out of everything you did. You didn't walk with him to school anymore, but since he still belonged to your clique and you both went to the same university, there wasn't really any palpable change. He’s still the pain in the ass you came to know save for the seemingly sexually charged quips he seemed to have taken a liking to. He thinks he’s funny so you let him be.

It's a shame since you actually found him physically attractive with his slightly tanned skin and impressive physique. Damn those thighs and arms and whatever you see peeking through the wide holes of his tank tops or when he would stretch like a magnificent feline and his shirt would ride up. Great iliac crest? Check! He is one handsome guy and you found his unruly hair quite cute. He smirks all the time, but you've seen how tooth-rottingly sweet his rare smiles were.

It wasn’t just that. He’s generally a good person. Annoying, yes, but he was kind in his own right. He could be caring and thoughtful, too, and he is really responsible for most guys his age. And did you have to talk about how sexy his brain is on top of being physically so? He’s so smart, you can admit to that without a fight because he just is. So yes, you like him enough not to strangle him because it would be a waste of a perfectly great brain. And he was nice to look at. Well, until he opens his trap anyway.

You'd usually just shoot Kuroo down, returning the favor with equal fervor, but that day was different. It wasn't as if your fuse was short. You actually dealt with him quite well, either just laughing at what he says or posing barb in accordance to what you saw fit. But you didn't think you could deal with his shit at the moment. Your nerves were frayed after a spat you had with your parents at home after they found out that you weren't doing so well in one of your major subjects. That's double whammy since you were already upset enough even without them pointing out what a disappointment you were.

And he just had to take a jab at that, too. Yes, he knows where to hit where it hurts the most be that intentional or not. You’ve only seen him do it to someone else before, which you thought was funny, but it wasn’t the case when you were the receiving end.

“Kuroo Tetsurou, you’re a fucking asshole,” you hissed, the words coming out so visceral that your friends looked at you, stunned speechless. Everyone at a one-meter radius who heard you say it pretty much looked at you. Everyone knew of your seeming rivalry, but it never came to the point when you would actually cuss at each other or get violent in any manner, but you did those two things in one go.

“I –” Kuroo was just as stupefied at your rather threatening reaction, opening his mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out.

"Y/N…" Kenma was too surprised at your atypical behavior to say anything else so he held your hand, trying to placate you, but you demanded to be released with just your gaze and he did just that. He knew better than to hinder you when you were in such a mood. You heard him say something else along with your other friends calling you, but you walked away, weaving through the crowd of party-goers without a backward glance.

You found refuge in one of the upstairs rooms, sitting on the floor and leaning against the bed, chastising yourself for letting Kuroo get to you so early in the night when you should have been getting wasted, even dead drunk to temporarily forget your parents' words to you. It was one fucking subject and their reaction to your supposedly bad grade was too much.

However, your reprieve was short-lived when you realized just whose room you were in, the familiar smell of the bed covers you were leaning on registering in your head like a bolt of lightning. He was the one throwing the party after all, and you forgot that you were in his house to begin with.

Just then, the door suddenly opened to admit the owner of the room, his tall frame briefly silhouetted by the hallway lights before he shut the door behind him. No doubt the rest of your friends told him to go after you. And as he did, your frustration just overwhelmed you and tears started to fall.

Kuroo sank on the wall opposite the bed, sitting there in silence for a moment, the sounds around you only punctuated by the beat of the bass making the floor beneath you vibrate. Then he broke it by saying, "Did I do this to you?"

You paused from your quiet sobs, hands clenching into fists. Standing up, you motioned to walk away. You wanted to be alone, not talk to him. He wasn't the cause for your current mood per se, but he just had to push your buttons all the time. Hence, you wanted to be petty by letting him soak in not knowing. There's nothing he hated more than that, and you will give him a dose of his own medicine.

However, before you could pass him, he grabbed you by the wrist. It wasn't intentional, judging by the way his amber eyes widened when you suddenly stumbled, your weight causing his back to slam against the wall when you landed on his lap.

"Ow!"

He hasn't even recovered from the impact of your body against him when he half-smiled, half-winced, obviously about to say something which would exasperate you again. However, before he could utter anything, you started hitting him on the chest and shoulder with your first, your hits in sync with the rhythm of your words which you let out through clenched teeth and between heavy breaths.

"You really have to ask?!" you derided, your tears drying up as your emotions regarding your parents seemed to ebb away momentarily. "You've been doing this to me ever since we met. Why do you do that, huh? What did I ever do to you?"

“Y/N, I was just ki –”

“Kidding, right?”

Hit.

"Ouch!"

Hit.

"Serves you right!"

You raised a hand, about to swing at him, but he held your hand away. "Stop –” You hit him anyway with your other hand. “Y/N, that hurts!"

"You deserve it for always pissing me off!" You pushed him down on the floor and straddled him, heaving as you looked at his face in the semi-darkness, but it appeared as if you weren't even seeing him there but something else equally upsetting if not more.

Kuroo looked at you with concern and he knew that instant that you were just projecting. He couldn't have gone overboard with his provocations of you, could he? It took a lot to move you, even more to rouse your rage. Something else was wrong.

You continued to just smack him with your delicate hands, your momentum slowing down and he expected you to cry even more when you gripped him on the right shoulder, your fist lightly pounding on his chest. He just let you.

The idea of you crying was just ludicrous to him since you never showed any other emotion to him other than your usually happy disposition, your annoyance when he is around and your fluent sarcasm when you felt like being harsh. But he has never seen your tears, not even when he accidentally pushed you into a ditch and sprained your ankle as a result years ago.

A pang of fear and uncertainty surged through his chest when you suddenly just flopped down on him as if he was a mattress, your fingers fisting over his shirt. And then, like a dam, your tears started flowing out freely. The sight was painful to him. He might have thought in advance that you were gonna do just that but it didn’t make it any less distressing to see you in such a state.

"Y/N…baby, what's wrong?"

"I…” You paused at the pet name, but you ignored it. “Just let me do this," you told him in muffled tones, making a Kleenex out of his black shirt. "You owe me this much."

"Okay." His voice rumbled in his hard chest, and he adjusted your position on him, later soothing your back with one hand while he used the other to support his head. He stayed quiet, wincing once in a while when you would suddenly take deeper breaths in an attempt to calm down only to fail.

He couldn't believe the circumstances. He never anticipated that you would suddenly be open with your emotions in front of him. The two of you hadn't been the closest in your lot, and you almost always argued whenever you were in the same breathing space. He wished it wasn’t the case because he actually treasured you, not just as his best friend’s cousin, but more than that. But just that he couldn’t tell you properly, thus his knack for resorting to annoying you – anything to get your attention and keep it on him. And yet there you two were with no quantifiable distance between you, your warmth taking over his whole being as you continued to sob and he, in his way, comforted you.

You lay on top of him for what seemed like half an hour with Kuroo making sure you didn't fall off, until you raised your head which was seemingly pounding in sync with his heartbeat, the weight of your lower body pressing down on him when you did so. You were still sniffling, face puffy and flushed as you looked at him, surprised that he just did the same without saying a thing.

"You can laugh now," you mumbled quietly, feeling awkward all of a sudden, but he didn't do that and just continued to leisurely run his fingers lightly on the small of your back.

His brows scrunched up together. "Why would I do that, hmm?"

"Cause you're an ass?"

He scoffed, his chest jerking upwards at the action. "What do you take me for? There's obviously something serious bothering you, and you think I'll laugh at you?"

You frowned placing your head sideways against him, listening to the quick and heavy thudding of his heart. "That's what you do."

"Alright…"

To your surprise, he suddenly flipped the two of you over so you were underneath his body. Kuroo did so very swiftly that you couldn't even let out a yelp, thinking he was throwing you off him. He could easily do that considering what a hulking human being he is compared to you, but he was gentle in his actions, even cushioning your head with one of his hands.

Hovering over you, he stared directly in your eyes and you couldn't help but mimic his actions. You froze, staying as still as you could, swallowing hard when he leaned even closer, supporting his weight with his elbow just beside your head.

"How blind are you?" he asked softly, mostly saying it to himself than you.

You blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Or better yet, how unfeeling are you?"

Your face crumpled up into a scowl at his words. You just had a crying jag in front of him and he’s accusing you of being, of all thing, unfeeling. "What are you talking about?"

He sighed as if in long suffering, and flipping tables on you, he buried his face on the crook of your neck. "You're so annoying."

"Now I'm the annoying one?" You chuckled without humor. "Get off me, rooster head."

He clucked his tongue. "No. I let you do this earlier. It's your turn to let me."

"You're annoying."

Kuroo shifted his head slightly to the side so he was facing you. "Am I?"

You let your head loll to look at him. "You're asking?"

“I’m being a gentleman here trying to make you feel better even if you ruined my shirt and made a living mattress out of me, and I’m annoying?”

“You always are, idiot. You just have to breathe to annoy me.”

The two of you just looked at each other, his face breaking into a small smile, his eyes drooping down slightly as he regarded you. And for some odd reason, all you could think about was lifting your hand to trace the planes and slopes of his face. You did just that, your fingers running over his nose then the side of his face, lingering longer over his sharp jawline before they made their way to his chin, your thumb brushing over his lower lip.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked, voice hoarse and quiet as he wrapped his fingers around your wrist.

You looked away, withdrawing your hand as you stared up at the ceiling. "You're okay, I guess."

“Okay as in…?”

“Your face,” you grunted, clearly exasperated.

"Is that an insult? 'Okay'? Really, Y/N?" He snorted. "And here I was thinking you're really pretty up close. No…beautiful."

You finally cracked a smile, about to laugh when you felt his fingers latch onto your chin, and the next thing you knew, his lips were on yours. His touch was tentative, merely pressing his mouth against yours, his restraint evident in the way his veins popped in his jugular. While you were surprised, you couldn't brush the thought that it felt natural doing that with him as if you were meant to do just that.

He pulled away ever so slightly, his eyes opening a crack to watch your reaction. You immediately missed the contact, and in just a fraction of a second you were wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. You felt him smile as he kissed you with more fervor this time while you returned the gesture in kind.

Kuroo rose a bit without cutting the kiss, slotting himself between your legs and lifting you off of the floor and onto the bed where he laid your body whilst his hands dug into your hair, his tongue licking between your lips to seek entrance which you granted. He sought yours, the hot muscle mingling with yours and tasting you, making you moan, your breath snagging in your chest when you felt his hand feeling down your side, lightly squeezing just above your hip bone, his thumb brushing right under the waistband of your black sweatpants.

“What are we doing?” you asked when you managed to think enough to stop him, eyes closed as he smiled, looking drunk as he leaned his forehead against yours.

He kissed the tip of your nose then landed a swift one against your lips as his golden eyes opened to look at you. “I waited for this for too long.” He melded your mouths together again, deeper than his lithe kisses this time but just as brief, coming and going several times, driving you crazy.

“What do you mean?”

He laughed helplessly. “Why do I annoy you all the time – you asked me this earlier. Isn’t it obvious? We never really started off on the right foot, and before I knew it, I was grating through your nerves, and it just remained that way for god knows how long.”

“Oh.” Your brows furrowed in silent consideration of what he was saying, letting your brain mince through every word, then out of the blue, you remembered Kenma’s words to you before, particularly about the reason why Kuroo kept on being such a juvenile dipshit when he deals with you.

“He likes you,” your cousin said to you, something you shot down with scathing laughter that made him roll his eyes at you before returning to whatever he was doing. “Just saying.”

And your question then remained and tumbled out of your lips before you could help it. “Then why the hell do you keep on teasing me? It doesn’t make sense.”

Kuroo flashed you a pained look, thinking you still didn’t get it. “It’s the only way I know you would notice me cause otherwise, would you even look at me twice?”

"Uh…yes? You always tell me I stare too long at you or you ask me if I like what I see. And all this time, you think I wouldn't look at you twice?" You laughed heartily at him, causing him to pout. You rose slightly to reach his lips, pecking him. "Don't be upset now. It is funny, admit it."

Kuroo rolled on his back beside you before sitting up to remove his shoes. "That was stupid, huh?"

"I guess. So, you…uh…you like me? Is that what you're saying?" You smirked at his back.

"Don't get cocky on me now." He clucked his tongue, making a face at you over his shoulder as he removed your shoes as well. He then climbed over you, kissing you on the forehead before lying down properly on one side of the bed, patting the space beside him. "Come here."

You did as you were told, mulling things over as you plopped on the spot next to Kuroo, appreciating the smell of his pillows. "I mean, if you were crushing on me, why didn't you just show me." You glanced at him, feeling your cheeks burn when he draped an arm over your waist, fingering the hem of your shirt. He, too, was deep in thought.

"I tried…"

Your nose wrinkled. "Like how?"

"Remember when you wore those white pants and got your period for the first time?"

You glared at him. "Motherfucker, don't remind me." Of all the things to say, he had to bring up that unfortunate event.

"Hey now! I ran home to get you new pants and pads, in case you forgot!"

"Yeah, and teased me relentlessly about it after," you retorted.

Kuroo poked your cheek, baring his pearly whites in annoyance. "You didn't even say thanks and instead threatened me if I as much as breathed a word of it to anyone."

"I did not!"

"Did to."

You smacked him on the arm.

"Ow?" He shrugged. "I always bought you cheesecake in senior year."

That took you aback. "That was you?"

"As stingy as Yaku is, you think he'll buy you cheesecake every day?"

"Well, I just assumed…" You softened at that. "Makes sense. Thanks?"

He rolled his eyes then. "I told your parents I would watch over you when we go out just so they would allow you."

"Oh yeah, they like you as absurd as that is."

"Y/N!"

"Kidding…"

"And I might have punched the guy who tried to kiss you at that party freshmen year." He feigned hurt.

You shrugged. "Why didn't you tell me? You just had to be a pain, huh?"

"I didn't know how to, okay? And after everything, you still think I'm – how did you put it? – a 'fucking asshole'. Geez."

At that, you avoided his gaze and baited your breath. "Look, I didn't know. It's just not a good day and you just had to put the cherry on top of everything."

"I was kidding. I didn't mean to make you upset. What was bothering you anyway?"

"Same old crap at home." You sighed, eyes on your fidgeting hands and staying there for quite a few minutes before you looked at Kuroo. "I'm sorry I lashed out like that… and in front of the others, too."

Kuroo snickered, pinching your cheeks as he rolled on top of you. "Kiss me and I'll forget about it."

"How about you ask me out first?"

His eyes lit up with hope. "Are you gonna say yes?"

You scoffed. "You have to know for sure if I will say yes first? And if it's otherwise, we'll just go back to pissing each other off?"

He started kicking his legs out in frustration. "Y/N, sweetheart, that's not what I meant," he protested. "Will you go out with me?"

You distanced yourself as much as you can manage in your position, thinking of teasing the hell out of him. "I know you don't have a single romantic bone in your body, but I expected better. Hmm."

"Do you want me to get down on one knee?"

"Now you're just going overboard."

"I would if that's what you want." He eyed you in earnest, his unspoken emotions conveying themselves through his eyes. He looked at you with such tender affection you haven't seen in him that you found yourself melting when he said, "I really, really want you for myself, Y/N. You don't know what you do to me."

You flashed a brilliant smile but you couldn't help but pull his leg more. "I guess I have tiny bit of a crush on you, too."

But instead of being annoyed, he beamed at you. "I guess I can work on that for the time being." He brushed away some stray locks of hair from your face, your ears heating up when he lightly touched your cheek. "I'll make you fall for me deeper than just that minuscule crush."

You reached up to cup his cheek, smiling to yourself. "You can start now."

Kuroo didn't have to be told twice, and in the next second, he had your lips locked with his in a silent promise that he would do just as he said.

Somehow, when he moved his mouth against yours, he seemed less of the annoying being you knew him to be. And perhaps you liked him more than just "a tiny bit of a crush" that way.

-end-

Like I said, I'm hooked on enemies to lovers. Sue me.

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS

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the-force-awakens · 7 months

Note

Hey, Nym, are you okay? I'm so sorry someone was ableist with one of your (amazing) hcs 🥺 I'm here if you wanna talk about what happened. But no pressure ♡

I debated answering this one publicly. Debated answering this one at all. Because sure, for all my playful kvetching, my passionate rants about why the things I like are cool and people shouldn't be dicks about it, and my occasional relatable depression text post reblog, I don't get negative on here. It's kind of my thing, or at least I like to think it is. I love to think my brand on here is that weird, positive autistic girl who is completely obsessed with Poe Dameron, and I also like to think it's a well earned brand. You don't stay on this bullshit for three years if you're normal.

So yeah, debated answering it because I didn't want to post the honest answer, but honestly this is a shitty situation, and it's important, so I am: I'm not okay.

I won't go into details, because contrary to what some clowns may believe I don't vague post (oh, oops, guess I just did a little), or at least if I kind of do, it's usually vaguing behaviors I see spread across multiple parts of a fandom, but I will talk about what it's like to be disabled and in fandom. What it is like to be autistic and in fandom.

I'm on Tumblr because it's a space where I can have a little dragon hoard of my special interest. It's where I can infodump about it. It's a space where I don't have to mask (much). In 2020, I jumped feet first into a certain special interest because life was shit and it made me happy. For every shitty take, every negative opinion I was hit with, I threw out more positive creations. I wrote. I giffed. I meta-ed to my heart's content and I was so fucking happy.

Then it....became a thing. I don't mind, as previously mentioned, my brand being that girl weirdly obsessed with a fictional pilot who isn't that popular outside of his fanon ships from a trilogy that this website loathes with as many burning suns as I hate - I don't even know something I hate that much. Anyway, I didn't mind that. But suddenly I became a wikipedia search bar. And....for the first little while, I didn't mind. Because I got to infodump about him, and I don't get to infodump irl, and my friends had heard plenty. And besides, I liked helping people! I like pointing people in the right direction of things.

But like I said. It became a thing. People were comfortable dm-ing me questions, getting mad about the answers I had, and sending back their own headcanons to contradict them. I got praised a lot for....having a special interest and being passionate about that subject. It started to feel a little bit...weird. But then I started realizing that people mostly only talked to me when they needed information from me, and that felt. Awful. It made me feel used just a little bit, and I took a step back from fandom because of it and some other mental health issues I was having.

(apparently if you're autistic this means you're 'distant')

But I wanted to keep creating, because making stuff makes me happy, and I'm autistic and I want a space to be autistic, and don't always want to (I know it does not bother you, but still) bother my friends with it, because there's loads of other conversations to have.

Fandom is more isolated now, but I feel that more keenly as someone who is disabled and audhd. Characters I relate to are seen as villains and monsters in the fandom, or manipulators that pressure people into doing what they want, or arrogant assholes who really just need to be put in their place. I try my best to ignore it.

It's harder to ignore when a not-super popular headcanon you made out of comfort after dissing your abled a bit more and living through a fairly traumatic job experience (and ergo losing out on a job because no one believed you were disabled), gets taken and written in an explicitly ableist way that mimicks precisely the trauma you were seeking comfort from.

I don't know who fandom is for anymore, but it's certainly not for me.

#ask box #i-belong-to-the-stars #thank you love i appreciate the support.#negativity #fandom wank

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lilacartsmadsion · 1 year

Note

Am i a;lowed to ask for that scenario/ where cacao goes to therapy and uhh, yknow the stuff we said in dms

It doesnt go well

Therapist: So let’s start with something simple, How do you feel, like everyday before you, lose control?

Dark Cacao: Angry?…Frustrated…when something negative happens I suppose…usually anger…

Therapist: Any specific reasons for said anger issues?

Dark Cacao: It’s mostly triggered through annoyance, I can control it better, but if I’m annoyed enough I will…lose control…

Therapist: And…the other times…?

Dark Cacao:…

Dark Cacao: I was…angry at someone…someone I was arguing with, either I hated the way they were or just simply felt betrayed…

Dark Cacao: Sometimes it activates when someone I care about is hurt…and I feel this sudden rage fill my soul that I…lose control so easily…

Therapist: Have you told anyone about this?

Dark Cacao: Yes…

Therapist: I see…Does it always happen this way? Have you been trying to seek help for this crisis?

Dark Cacao: Usually…I always regarded it as a cursed defense mechanism…regardless its not going to go away unless I actually handle it.

Therapist: You’re dealing this on your own?

Dark Cacao: Why not? It’s…it’s not like the others can help, they don’t even understand how this works either! And at this point I’m the only one who can protect them!

Therapist: So you push them away? What about Espresso or Pure Vanilla? Aren’t they finding a cure?

Dark Cacao: There is no cure…I’ve accepted that…

Therapist:…

Therapist: Well it doesn’t hurt to at least let them help you.

Dark Cacao: I’ve survived worse on my own, I can handle myself.

Therapist: On your own? All by yourself?

Dark Cacao: I’ve fought two dragons and raised a kingdom from the ground up all by myself, in this snowy wasteland, given myself techniques and skills so that my subjects will thrive despite this harsh climate! So yes, all by myself!

Therapist: That was in your adolescence…it was recorded that you were much younger than the others when you founded your kingdom…

Therapist: But are you certain you were on your own? What about your friends? Didn’t they help you? Perhaps…your family? There must be a reason you constantly pursue things on your own…

Dark Cacao:…

Dark Cacao: I don’t want to talk about this.

Therapist: Your Majesty, please, if I am to make a correct decision on your state, I might as well learn what may be your weaknesses here, did your friends abandon you at some point? Did something happen that made you think that you had to do it all alone?

Dark Cacao: My kingdom was in the height of its prosperity when I met the others! There’s no way they would’ve started this!

Therapist: Then your family…tell me, did they abandon you? Left you to fend for yourself? Did they place a helping hand when you needed it the most?

Dark Cacao: Shut your mouth, I don’t want to talk about this!

Therapist: It couldn’t have been a brother or sister, such actions would’ve made you more of a people pleaser, but you seem so afraid to let people into your heart, my guess is that you’ve been shut out by someone.

Therapist: Not to mention your neglectful behavior towards your son, though understandable that you had a kingdom to run that suffered a lot with trade since your land is an icy wasteland compared to Hollyberry’s thriving kingdom that lives in the middle of an island, you also seem to purposefully distance yourself from him.

Dark Cacao: We are still getting used to each other.

Therapist: No no, I’m talking about, PRIOR to his banishment. Multiple cookies have reported that, though you love the Prince whole heartedly, there’s something in you that is hesitant to show him the proper love and care you want to give him, my guess is that…perhaps, you believe you wouldn’t be a good father for him?

Dark Cacao: ?!

Therapist: But for what reason? The only thing I believe is that you had a problem with your own father…

Dark Cacao:…

Therapist: And it seems I’m spot on…

Dark Cacao: I’m not listening to this.

Therapist: What did he do to you, Dark Cacao? Why is it your so hesitant to let others help you when they so desperately want to?

Dark Cacao: Stop!

Therapist: Why do you choose to hurt yourself just to protect others?!

Dark Cacao: SHUT IT!

Therapist: Your past has done something to you, you refuse to let others help you because the last time you begged for the help of someone else, he shunned you away and left you to fend for yourself!

Dark Cacao: I DON’T WANT TO REMEMBER THIS!

-Dark Cacao transforms into Berserk Cacao and in anger eats the Therapist-

#dark cacao cookie #I kept the backstory vague cause idk how Black Forest is in your au and if Dark Cacao has the same backstory as my ghosts of our pasts au

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redjadethewriter · 3 days

Text

"You're Brave To Choose 'Not' To Forgive"

While watching an ex-therapist discuss the concept of forgiveness, their perspective intrigued me. They argued that forgiveness can sometimes serve as a way to dissociate from our true feelings. It was a refreshing take, as we often hear phrases like “You need to find forgiveness in your perpetrator” or “You’re brave for being so forgiving.” However, I believe there is a distinction between apologizing for our actions and genuinely working on personal growth and emotional maturity.

Apologizing involves taking accountability for the harm we have caused and actively striving to become a better person. It requires self-reflection and understanding of the root causes of our destructive actions. It is not about seeking forgiveness solely to repair relationships or improve our image in the eyes of others.

In the past, I apologized with the expectation of forgiveness, without truly learning from my mistakes. I yearned to have that person back in my life or to enhance my reputation, rather than sincerely addressing the underlying issues that led to my harmful behavior. I now realize that I needed to take responsibility for my actions and focus on personal growth, rather than seeking forgiveness as a means to move on.

It is essential to delve into the reasons behind our uncontrollable emotions and the destructive actions they may trigger. By understanding the root of these issues, we can work towards genuine personal growth and emotional healing.

The guy spoke about his decision not to forgive his parents, explaining how it saved his life. This choice helped him grieve, reconnect with his emotions, and ultimately recover from his trauma. I can completely understand why he needed to do that, and it made me reflect on my own experiences. Why did we spend so many years constantly forgiving those who hurt us the most? In his case, he had to forgive his parents because he depended on them. He talked about feeling trapped, having nowhere else to go, lacking the financial means to leave, and being too inexperienced to navigate life on his own. It’s devastating when forgiveness becomes the only option, leading to dissociation and enduring constant issues, all while trying to cope with the trauma of being stuck with the very people who caused it.

I have spoken to many people in my life who describe feeling like orphans, despite having parents. These individuals have endured neglect, deficient parenting, and various forms of abuse. Some of them even argue that certain individuals should never become parents in the first place. I deeply admire those who openly admit that they do not want to have children to spare them from inheriting or experiencing trauma. It shows their recognition of the flaws within the current system.

Occasionally, my mother has expressed her wish that she had never been born when overwhelmed by life’s challenges. It’s an unsettling sentiment, but it’s a rare occasion where we find common ground. These conversations may not be healthy, but then again, mentally or emotionally healthy individuals did not raise us, nor did we grow up in a safe environment.

I even had to tell my mother that she doesn’t have to forgive anyone, but she should acknowledge that our entire bloodline is dysfunctional. This dysfunction stems from centuries of accumulated issues and challenges. However, it doesn’t mean that we must subject ourselves to toxicity any longer. Instead, let’s wish them well and distance ourselves from the negativity.

Of course, there are some individuals who choose to believe in forgiveness as a virtue and expose themselves to a lot of nonsense, even when they have the means to separate themselves from it. On the other hand, there are those of us who don’t have that luxury and must find a way to survive by any means necessary.

As for me, I cannot bring myself to forgive anyone for their actions. I simply acknowledge that we are all products of the accumulated nonsense that has plagued our bloodline and society. However, it is crucial that actions are held accountable and not excused.

I once had a friend who desired her parents to take responsibility for their actions. I had to explain to her it’s highly unlikely that she will ever receive that accountability from them, and the same may be true for the rest of us. The individuals who have caused harm would first have to acknowledge to themselves that they have done something truly terrible that has hurt us. Unfortunately, I doubt their ego will allow them to do so, as it would mean they would have to confront their own flaws and potentially view themselves as less than good people, especially if they hold that belief about themselves.

Hence, I concur that forgiveness may not be the most effective approach in life. As he remarked, “It’s courageous of you to choose not to forgive,” and I fully agree. This is true when you have been raised to believe that forgiveness is an empowering act, when in reality, I have never experienced a sense of empowerment or liberation when uttering the words, “I forgive you.” Instead, I would much prefer to witness individuals taking proactive steps to improve themselves as human beings, without expecting my forgiveness. Merely recognizing their struggles and acknowledging that they have personal issues to overcome would suffice.

Thank you!

#lgbt author #lgbtq community #life blogging #writers on tumblr #healing journey #healing from trauma #healing from abuse #bad parenting #generational trauma #family drama #walking away

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queen--of--maggots · 5 months

Text

About Rem’s feelings for Misa

@airsteelport Hi. It’s been a while, but here’s the promised explanation of why I don’t see Rem’s feelings for Misa necessarily as romantic.

For anyone else who may read this, I’m totally ok with people shipping Remisa. The same goes for people who want to see Rem’s feelings for Misa as romantic. This is only my opinion on the subject and not a personal attack on anyone. If you disagree with me, that’s fine. But please, just ignore this post and move on with your day.

My problem with seeing Rem’s feelings for Misa as romantic is mainly a narrative issue. Humans and Shinigami aren’t equal in DN, and the same goes, in my opinion, for the standards for establishing romantic feelings.

First, I want to explain what I mean when I say the two species aren’t equal. In stereotypical fantasy settings and often in sci-fi as well, the different species fill in the same role within their universes. They may look different and have different cultures, but they all have a similar degree of development and education, and their biology is often comparable. Even the cultural differences are usually superficial. It’s mostly “human culture” but shifted towards a certain aspect (“human culture”, but more nature loving, more into war, or more into science and so on). Seeing something drastically different is rare. Often, you could even exchange one species for another, apply minor adjustments, and you wouldn’t break the established rules of the universe.

With Shinigami, that’s not the case. Shinigami kill humans and add the remaining lifespan to their own. Humans are food, so to say, and the only true “food source” Shinigami have. The relationship between the two species is a predator-prey relationship. Giving a Death Note to a human doesn’t change much in this regard. With more direct interactions, humans just become something similar to livestock or pets. Maybe it’s not exactly the same since both species have a similar degree of intelligence. Still, they aren’t equal, humans stand far below Shinigami in the food chain. Ryuk’s behavior toward Light shows this well. He spends six years with him, plays with him, has fun with him, and in the end, he kills him without a second thought, even though Ryuk and Light keep better company than Misa and Rem throughout the story. In the Death Note universe, a Shinigami loving a human is basically the equivalent of a human loving a talking, intelligent animal. And to make this believable (for me), it needs a lot of effort in terms of writing than what we get in DN.

As for Gelus, I have less of a problem seeing it as romantic love since the narrative is different. Well, I wouldn’t say it’s pure love, more the distorted simp version. Anyway, we never see Gelus’ story, only its ending. The development happened off-screen before the story started. I’m willing to take this as an exposition. Rem does have this luxury. Her relationship with Misa develops during the events. She observes Misa for eight days and gives her the Death Note in March 2004. Then, a bit more than a month later, this scene happens,

and a few weeks later, this scene.

That’s a quick progression. The question is: what changed Rem’s mind? My problem is we never see any development between Misa and Rem, even though it should be there. Rem simply jumps from “I’m not dying for you” to “I must protect you” because it’s convenient for the plot. I can accept that Rem finds Misa fascinating, but I don’t even know why Rem should like Misa to begin with. If I should be convinced that Rem has romantic feelings for Misa, I first must see what makes her so special that Rem can see more in Misa than an interesting animal. Misa isn’t friendly to Rem, only polite. She’s even more friendly to Ryuk than to Rem. She doesn’t care about Rem and only wants Light’s attention. She tells Rem that she wants her dead. She promises not to tell anyone how you can kill a Shinigami, just to tell Light immediately. She expects Rem’s help with Higuchi but never expresses any kind of gratitude. Rem hates Higuchi’s selfishness, and yet Misa is equally selfish. Overall, Rem receives indifference to light hostility from Misa. Nothing about this is lovable, appealing, or elevates Misa above the rest of her species. Why should Rem fall in love with someone like that?

Ok, technically, you can fall for an asshole, for example, because one confuses physical or sexual attraction for romantic feelings. It could be a similar situation to the one we have with Misa and Light. I would be ok with that if not for the inequality of the species. If Rem would have been a human or if Shinigami were former humans and only became Shinigami after their death, then pure physical/sexual attraction would be a reasonable explanation. Or if at least Shinigami do not feed on human lifespans and there isn’t this huge power discrepancy, I would be somewhat ok with this as well since seeing humans as equal would be less of an issue. But Shinigami aren’t humans or former humans (manga canon). They aren’t even deities. They are a real alien lifeform in the DN universe.

The proof for this is here when Rem implies that Shinigami underwent an evolutional process at one point and adapted their eating habits.

If Shinigami are aliens, so to say, is Misa physically attractive to Rem? Questionable. Wouldn’t you be more attracted to something that fits the standards of your own species? OK, Shinigami don’t have a uniform look. Shinigami may exist, who look similar to Misa. And at least most seem to be humanoid, but not all. So, does someone’s look even matter to Shinigami? And if it doesn’t matter (that much), how likely is it that physical attraction alone is enough for Rem to fall in love? Also, in case one’s look doesn’t matter, wouldn’t there be other determining factors for attractiveness, like scent? I would be more or less neutral on this one, but there is also another factor, namely this rule:

“There are male and female Shinigami, but it is neither permitted nor possible for them to have sexual relations with humans. They also cannot have sex with each other.”

Shinigami can be male or female, but they don’t have reproductive organs. This could be the result of evolution as well. They likely went from only sexual or sexual and asexual reproduction to only asexual reproduction. They have to reproduce somehow. However, if a species only reproduces asexually, a partner is not necessary, and there is no evolutional advantage of romantic love being a thing anymore. We know it is possible for them to experience it, a relic from former times, maybe, but falling in love with someone would probably be harder for Shinigami than it is for humans.

The rule also states that sexual activities with humans that do not require sexual organs are taboo as well. It’s even punishable. Therefore, relationships between humans and Shinigami are likely considered something disgusting in the Shinigami society, even if they exist only on an emotional level. Would Rem just fall head over heels in love with Misa without any resistance? She’s probably several decades or even centuries old and not a hormone-controlled teenager. She should have some emotional control. Also, I don’t think you can get rid of the social norms you’ve followed for your entire life in a few weeks or months.

It also seems like Shinigami aren’t social beings. They live together but apparently have little interest in the well-being of other individuals. Rem has known Gelus for quite some time. They are either acquaintances or friends. Yet, she doesn’t even try to stop him from killing himself to save Misa. Furthermore, all interactions between Shinigami were nothing more than short conversations before they minded their own business again. Nothing implied that they share a deeper bond with others. Another point that probably makes it harder for Shinigami to develop meaningful feelings for someone else.

In conclusion, Rem isn’t a human, and from how the species is set up, I can’t just apply human standards in terms of love. Shinigami probably don’t fall in love easily to begin with. And falling in love with a human would require additional steps since they must see them as equals first. That’s why I’m not convinced that Rem has romantic feelings for Misa. Physical attraction could be possible, but I don’t find it very likely if that’s the only reason. You could convince me if there would be more (or any) commitment from Misa’s side, but there is none. Misa couldn’t care less about Rem.

I’m ok with Rem loving Misa in a non-romantic way, though. If we go by the human-animal analogy from the beginning, people love their pets, even the ones that aren’t affectionate, as friends, family members, or children. And there are also people who would risk their life for their pets. Add to this Rem’s fascination with selflessness. That is more reasonable to me than her seeing Misa as a potential partner. (I still think Rem mainly likes Misa because the plot requires it, but non-romantic love is less farfetched to me as an in-universe explanation than romantic love.)

I want to mention that I was (and still kinda am) a massive fan of the DN Shinigami and the Shinigami realm. From when I first saw DN, I sucked up everything about them, and I guess this shaped my view a lot. Most people in the fandom seem to have little interest in Shinigami as a species and only care about the interactions between Ryuk, Rem, and, to a lesser extent Sidoh, with the human characters. So if someone sees Shinigami only as humanoid monsters, then most things I mentioned here don’t really matter to them.

#death note #rem #misa amane #gelus

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blortch · 7 months

Note

Hi it's me again

I didn't plan on replying but then I saw you wrote several paragraphs in response and then so did I and then my phone crashed so here's a shorter version. (future me here: it was not shorter, it was longer and maybe a little more frustrated because I've been working for the last 14 hours on what was supposed to be my day off and I'm tired and I hope it doesn't come off mean spirited.)

I never made any assumptions about how much you watch them and I have no feelings about how you use Tumblr. I don't follow you and we don't know each other, but I hope your year at school goes well.

It comes off like you don't like them anymore because a lot of your criticisms aren't well thought out. They sometimes involve things they've been doing for literally over a decade (the long jokes thing, they did it in BOTW 21 and again way back in 2012 in a HITB) and if anything I think they're just continuing to do what they love doing and they don't care what anyone else thinks about it.

I don't have a problem with your criticisms inherently and I'm glad you feel like the community here is chill, but I also think it's fine if people like me disagree with you without you putting a bunch of words in my mouth. My one sentence about how it comes off like you don't like them didn't *really* warrant three paragraphs made up of stuff I never said nor implied.

The problem I *do* have with your criticisms is they come off as parasocial fan theories a lot and I feel like I'm reading YouTube comments where yet another person has done numerology theorycrafting on why they think THIS is the last RLM video for REAL THIS TIME. Or Reddit dreaming up that Jim and Colin aren't friends because they aren't constantly standing in the same room with each other.

I really think the Zoomers thing is *not serious* and it just makes Mike laugh. They've almost always had an adversarial relationship with their audience and I think he's fully aware that Gen Z is part of it.

And I never said you didn't care. I think you probably care too much. And that is informed by your regular habit of making assumptions about their personal lives (is Colin wearing a hat so important? He's done it before. Sometimes he wears hats. Sometimes he doesn't.) and their emotional and mental states and how that reflects in their videos. You may have issues with fandoms who treat their figures like idols, but you have a tenancy to represent the other side of that coin. I think that's unfair to the RLM crew when they are very clear about *not wanting* people to speculate about their personal lives.

Long jokes can get old, long jokes can be forced or done wrong, or at least be done wrong more frequently, there are Mike-tangents I tolerate better than others, the latest ones I have a hard time in finding them interesting. And this doesn't affect how i feel about the ones I liked and still like of theirs.

Your theory that Mike's Zoomer talk is just another version of earlier jabs he's made at fans since forever I think makes sense.

I think you have a point that although I try to discourage too much speculation about their personal lives, the second step I do after criticizing their choices in what they present publicly in their channel is to look for motive which certainly falls into speculating about their personal selves.

More generally, I think it can even be said that I do try a bit too hard in finding motive behind people's actions, I did so for your ask and I do so for RLMstuff because I see it as part of the whole game. I've seen certain behavior before so I connect the dots from there and assume RLM are doing of the sort, or I project stuff of mine onto them. I think this subjectivity of course comes with my claims and I've said before that because of it I don't like treating my own opinion as anything like "objective", "the absolute best" or even reasonable to make. I try to use language that hints towards this but probably more often than not I omit the "to me personally it came off like... [example:] Mike's just an asshole". and instead say the easily misunderstood shorter version "I think Mike's an asshole" or even "Mike's an asshole."

A lot of the times it's for the sake of discussion. There's nothing much I could say about an anon ask about a theory concerning Colin's hat that I never would've considered otherwise so I make up whatever on the spot to keep up the conversation.

You're explaining to me how you made an observation that I read too much into, where I assumed that you wrote me an ask in the vein of "why are you doing this when you could just. not". But like I just explained I took the ask as an excuse for me to just blab about. I apologize if it felt to you like I was putting words in your mouth but anon asks aren't conversations, I see them more as the template of a post because I approach them with the knowledge that there's no way for me to know who you are or what your intentions are with certainty, so any claim I make in response is inevitably going to be full of assumptions or not be the specific answer you wanted.

Anyway, I hope you get your well-deserved rest, 14 hours of work sound horrible

#blortchmod #hurm i hope i didnt leave out anything - i tried to answer your ask in its entirety

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