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nameless-ken · 1 month

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Silent Confessions, Loud Masks - Billy Hargrove x Reader Series

(Please reblog!!!)

Happy reading! Comment below to be added to taglist.

Word Count: 3.7K

Warnings: lots of angst (what's new lol) & cursing

Masterlist

(song for this chapter <3)

Expressing feelings for someone is like navigating a minefield of emotions, each step filled with uncertainty and potential pitfalls. Why isn’t it easier to speak what’s inside our hearts instead of dancing around the truth until it’s too late?

Billy’s confession sent your mind into a tailspin, your heart pounding in your chest like a drumbeat. Yet, when the moment came, your voice failed you, as if some invisible force clamped your mouth shut.

Now, after a week and a half of silent contemplation, you've come to understand the tangled mess of emotions that kept you mute. Billy has morphed into an essential part of your life, straddling the line between friend and something more. Despite your unspoken desires, you've settled into a comfortable routine. You’re fine with being friends or whatever this situationship is because you’ve come to know a truth to it all. Never give more than you are willing to lose.

“I’m not understanding this chapter at all,” Billy's voice interrupts your thoughts, snapping you back to reality. “You okay?”

You nod, but your mind is elsewhere, lost in a whirlwind of worries. “This one does have some challenging plot points in it, but—”

“Can we stop with the bullshit?” Billy's tone is sharp, cutting through the air like a knife. “I know something’s been eating at you for like a week now.” He leans in, his eyes searching yours with intensity.

You pause, feeling the weight of his gaze, and finally, the floodgates open. “I’ve just been stressed lately,” you admit, meeting his eyes with a mix of relief and trepidation. “Between helping my dad with bills, failing two tests, and college applications looming, it’s been overwhelming.”

“You know you can always tell me what’s going on. If you need help, I’m always here.” He looks around quickly before sliding his hand across the table to grab yours, giving it a squeeze.

“I know and I’m sorry I haven’t been myself lately.”

“You don’t have to apologize for the hard shit.” Billy reassures you, his smile softening the edges of his words.

But before the moment can linger, Tommy and Carol intrude upon your private bubble. Billy withdraws his hand quickly and you feel a pang of disappointment, a silent plea for him to acknowledge what lies between you.

“Ready?” Tommy speaks up as he stands next to Billy’s chair, Carol’s arms wrapped around him. “This party tonight is going to be so wicked.”

Billy nods, standing up with a forced smile. “Yeah, let’s go.”

“See you around freak.” Tommy remarks to you and Carol snickers as they start walking off.

“I’ll call you later.” Billy whispers once the pair is out of earshot.

“I’m working late again so I won’t be home.” You cross your arms with a clear annoyed look on your face. Billy understands that look and nods.

“See you tomorrow.” He mutters and leaves. You sigh heavily and gather your books, slinging the bag over your shoulder to head home and get ready for work.

The exhaustion weighs heavily on you tonight, exacerbated by the bustling atmosphere of the restaurant. The dimly lit space is filled with the chatter of patrons, the clinking of silverware, and the occasional burst of laughter. The air is thick with the scent of sizzling food and brewed coffee, mingling with the faint aroma of cigarette smoke that lingers despite the no-smoking signs.

Amidst the crowd of diners, mostly comprised of older men, you navigate the maze of tables and booths, balancing trays laden with plates and cups. The ambiance is tainted by the persistent advances of these patrons, their leering gazes and suggestive remarks casting a shadow over your evening.

But amidst the chaos, there is Mary, a beacon of familiarity and comfort in the tumult of the restaurant. An older waitress with a kind smile and a knowing gaze, she always has your back. Having known your mother during her time at the restaurant, Mary often remarks on the striking resemblance between you and her.

Tonight, as you confide in Mary about Billy, she offers sage advice while handing you a plate and coffee cup to serve. The worn countertop serves as your refuge, a sanctuary amidst the chaos of the dining area.

“Do you really think he loves me?” You ask Mary as she hands you a plate and coffee cup to serve.

“All I know from working so long around drunk men is that their sober thoughts really aren’t that much different from their wasted ones, especially when it comes to love,” Mary advises, her words carrying the weight of experience.

You place the plate and cup down for the customer at the countertop with a smile before turning back to Mary. “I'm at a loss for how to approach him. Billy's a complex guy, and I'm worried that if I lay my feelings out, it might push him away.”

“Darling, most men aren't angels after a few drinks.”

“Oh, he's not always like that when he's had a few. Just before that, he was in a heated argument. I couldn't even catch what set it off, but he was clearly riled up about something some guy said, and—”

“Sweetie, I have a feeling that guy's words were aimed at you.”

“What? No, nobody knows about us. I can't see how that could be related,” you respond, puzzled by Mary's interpretation of Billy's behavior.

“Are you sure about that?” Mary points behind you and you turn, finding Billy standing near the countertop with flowers in hand. You can’t help the instant smile that appears.

“I thought there was a raging party going on tonight?” you tease, a playful glint in your eyes as Billy leans against the counter toward you.

“They’re all the same,” Billy responds with a chuckle, mirroring your stance as he leans closer. “Plus, there’s this girl who I’d rather spend my night with.”

Your heart skips a beat at his words, heat creeping onto your cheeks despite your best efforts to conceal it. The air between you crackles with anticipation, the din of the restaurant fading into the background as you share this intimate moment.

“These are for you,” He extends the droopy flowers. “I saw them on the way here and thought you’d like them.”

“Oh, I’ve never received flowers before,” You timidly grab the pink and yellow buds, placing them in one of your apron pockets. “Thank you. I don’t get off for another hour, if that’s okay.”

“I can wait.” Billy responds, pulling out a red stool at the counter and settling onto it. He reaches for the book you two have been reading together and flips it open.

You chuckle at the sight of him reading amidst the hustle and bustle of the restaurant. “Now that’s a sight to see.”

Billy grins, looking up from the book as you pour him a cup of coffee. “If you tell anyone, you’re dead,” he jokes, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

You laugh at his playful threat, enjoying the easy banter between you. As you continue your work, the presence of Billy nearby fills you with a sense of comfort and contentment.

“Go ahead sweetheart. I can close up the rest tonight.” Mary insists, practically pushing you out from behind the counter.

“Thanks Mary.” You look out the window, seeing Billy resting against his car with a cigarette dangling between his lips. You untie your apron, hanging it on your designated hook. “See you tomorrow.” You wave to Mary and rush toward the door, flowers in hand as you make your way toward Billy.

“Now that’s a sight.” You hear Billy mumble as you get closer. You glance at your feet as you stop in front of him. “Ready?” He quirks a brow, flicking his cigarette to the ground, stomping it with his boot. You nod and he helps you in the passenger side before getting in on his side.

Late-night drives hold a special place in your heart, especially when Billy is by your side. The tranquility of the night seems to envelop him, stirring a gentle flutter in your chest.

As you both pull up outside your house, breaking the silence, Billy inquires about your college plans. "Where are you considering applying?" he asks.

"Still figuring it out. I'll likely end up accruing debt, so I'm researching to minimize it," you reply as you head inside, Billy trailing behind with more questions.

Perching on your bed, Billy continues his curiosity. "What about your field of study?"

"I'm drawn to photography, but practicality dictates otherwise for now," you explain, absentmindedly untangling your hair.

Billy compliments your talent. "Your photos are amazing. Anywhere would be lucky to have you."

Turning the tables, you ask about his plans. "And you, Billy?"

He leans back, contemplating. "College doesn't feel right for me. I'll probably go into a trade."

"You underestimate yourself," you reassure him before excusing yourself to change.

As you return, Billy's already made himself comfortable, his boots are already off and jacket slung over your desk chair. You catch him admiring your belongings, his hand lingering over a blanket atop a basket.

"I could crochet one for you if you're interested," you offer, catching Billy off guard as he startles slightly, withdrawing his hand from the blanket, now standing tall.

"You made that?" His eyebrows arch with curiosity.

"Yeah, my mom taught me how to crochet. She made this one for my birthday before she passed away," you explain, reaching for the blanket she crafted, the one you always sleep with, as you settle onto your bed.

"It seems complicated and time-consuming," Billy remarks, joining you on the bed, leaning against the headboard.

"Not really, it's actually quite therapeutic," you reply.

"If you're ever in need of therapy, count me in for one," he quips, meeting your gaze.

You wonder if he senses the same charged atmosphere between you. His eyes draw you in like a magnet, his trademark smirk driving you wild every time he flashes it your way. His unruly curls framing his face perfectly, though never quite neat, drive you insane.

"Would you like to have dinner together tomorrow?" The question slips out unexpectedly, surprising even yourself, before you can second-guess whether it sounds like a date invitation.

"Sure, where should I meet you?" Billy responds, seemingly oblivious to any hidden implications in your question.

"How about here? I can cook something," you suggest, snuggling under your blanket, attempting to shield yourself from the awkwardness you feel.

"Sounds good to me," Billy agrees, his genuine smile lighting up his face. "You don't mind if I stay over tonight, right?"

"You're always welcome to stay."

With that, Billy slides under the blanket with you, and you don't resist the warmth that spreads through your body as he wraps his arm around your waist, your head finding its place against his chest.

"Goodnight, B," you murmur softly.

"Goodnight, little mouse," he replies, his lips curving into a smile against your head. You used to dislike that nickname, but now you've grown to love it. Just like him.

"Want to catch a movie tonight?" Robin suggests as you stroll together towards lunch.

"I can't, uh, I've got dinner plans," you reply, nudging open the cafeteria door, the cacophony of voices engulfing you.

"With who?" Robin probes as you join the line for food. Just then, Billy and his group pass by, your gaze lingering on him.

"Oh my god, you and Bi—" You quickly cover Robin's mouth, trying to hush her before she finishes his name.

"Shh! Not so loud," you whisper urgently.

"Ew! Have you kissed? No, wait, don't answer that!" Robin's eyes widen with excitement.

"Robin, seriously, it's not a big deal," you insist, leaning against the wall, stealing another glance at Billy. You see the way he plays with his food and the toothpick between his teeth, a habit he explained helps with his nicotine cravings during school. You even made sure to find flavored ones for him. He always keeps them in his jacket pocket. The memory brings a smile to your face.

"Um, it's a huge deal! You're going on a date with one of the most obnoxious guys in this school, whom, might I add, you confessed your love to, and he reciprocated, even though he conveniently seems to have forgotten, but that's beside the point. This is totally a date, and you know it," Robin insists.

"It's not a date," you protest, moving along the lunch line.

"It totally is," Robin persists, following you as you grab your lunch and head to your usual table, surrounded by fellow band members.

Your nerves start to jangle, the food suddenly less appetizing as you anticipate tonight. Your gaze drifts back to Billy, finding his eyes already on you. You offer him a small smile, which he returns. Tommy and Carol notice and start laughing like hyenas, causing you to turn away, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

Billy's irritation reaches its peak, prompting him to take an unexpected action. The cafeteria's ambient noise diminishes, and the occupants around your table fall into an uneasy silence. Confused, you glance around, only to pivot at the sound of heavy footsteps drawing near.

"Hey, Y/N. Are we still on for tonight?" His unexpected question leaves you dumbfounded, and you can only manage a nod. His sudden boldness astonishes you, quickening your heartbeat as he finally acknowledges you in public, breaking free from his usual concealment.

Leaning casually on the table beside you, he lowers his face to be level with yours, enveloping you both in a bubble of quiet amidst the hushed cafeteria.

"Great. I'll see you later, little mouse." With a wink and his trademark smirk, he ignites gasps from the surrounding girls as he saunters away, indifferent to the attention. You find yourself gazing after him, oblivious to the murmurs circulating the cafeteria.

Robin's tug on your arm snaps you out of your reverie. "Holy shit! It's definitely a date," her excitement mirroring your own astonishment.

You make an effort to tidy up as best you can, even though Billy has been over countless times and never seemed to mind the state of your home.

"Haven't seen this place so clean in a while," your dad remarks as he emerges from his room, already dressed for work.

"Just thought I'd spruce it up," you reply, wiping down the dining table, a piece of furniture seemingly frozen in time since your mom passed away.

"I'll be working late again," your dad mentions, tying his shoes as you turn to face him.

"Have you thought about Thanksgiving? Any word from Y/S/N?" you inquire, trying to maintain a semblance of normalcy despite the underlying sadness that always accompanies conversations with him.

"I'll have to put in longer hours that week. I'll give you some money for food," he responds, and you fight back tears that threaten to spill over, a familiar ache settling in your chest.

"Okay, no worries. Have a good night at work," you manage, turning away to hide the tear that betrays your composure. You wait for his acknowledgment, but only the sound of the front door closing signals his departure.

With a few hours to spare before Billy arrives, you retreat to your room, journal in hand, seeking solace in the pages.

Your relationship with your dad is a labyrinth of complexities, once filled with warmth and tenderness before your mom's passing stripped it away, leaving behind a void that seems impossible to bridge, especially during your teenage years.

You can't blame him or your absent sister, though the resentment lingers. The idea of leaving after graduation claws at your conscience, knowing it would only deepen your father’s sadness. No matter how many bad memories Hawkins has for you, this will always be home.

It’s where you were born and raised. It’s where your old house is with a huge driveway where your father taught you and your sister to ride bikes together. It’s where your mom would take you for ice cream after a bad day. It’s where your mom got sick, she spent most of her last days in the hospital. It’s where she’s buried up in East Hawkins, beside your grandparents. It’s where you saw your sister start to rebel and flee, to never return. It’s where you saw your father’s smile disappear completely. It’s where the quietness and loneliness grew inside you for the longest time.

Until you met Billy.

Billy has submerged himself so deep into your life now that every feeling is finally starting to rise to the top.

But it’s not the feeling of panic, it’s more of a relief. Every day or hour you spend with Billy, it feels like you’ve reached the top. He’s breathed a new life into you and you want to breathe that air for the rest of your life.

Closing your journal, you wipe away the tears, feeling a surge of intense emotions. With a few deep breaths, you compose yourself, stowing away your journal before returning to the kitchen. Amidst the flickering candlelight, you begin to cook, finding solace in the simple act to take your mind off of things.

You steal a glance at the clock on your wall for the third time, each passing minute feeling like a weight in the pit of your stomach.

With each tick, the realization settles in: Billy forgot.

Despite your anticipation for tonight, after his triumphant performance at school, he forgot.

Anger and heartache surge within you, compelling you to extinguish the candles and discard the food, the remnants of your dashed hopes and shattered expectations. You abandon the mess, retreating to your bed instead.

Curling up with your handmade blanket, tears stream down your cheeks as you gaze at the photograph of your mom on the bedside table.

"He didn't mean to, right? He's still good, isn't he?"

The next morning, you dial Robin for a ride to school, fully aware that you'd probably stay home if not for her.

"I'm going to give him a piece of my mind. When I lay eyes on him, he's done for!" Robin declares, slamming her hand on the steering wheel in frustration.

You sit beside her in silence, avoiding dwelling further on Billy's absence. She parks in an empty spot, and you instinctively scan the area for his blue Camaro, finding none. A sigh of relief escapes you as you step out of the car and follow Robin into school.

"I always knew he was still the biggest jerk in Hawkins," Robin continues her tirade about Billy.

"Can we just try to forget about it today?" you interject as you navigate through the bustling main hallway.

"Fine, but I can't guarantee what'll happen when I see his face," Robin replies, her tone still seething with anger.

Though you want to agree with her, you remain silent as you reach your locker. "I'll be right back," Robin says, heading to her own locker.

As you gather your books, you overhear snickers behind you. Turning around, you're confronted by a group of unfamiliar girls giggling and casting glances in your direction.

“No wonder he slept with Heather.”

"Yeah, like she’d actually ever have a chance with him."

“Do you think she knows he was at the party last night?”

"Probably not, otherwise she wouldn't dare show her face around here today."

“How humiliating, being stood up by Billy Hargrove and not knowing he slept with Heather instead.”

The words sting, and you feel a wave of humiliation wash over you. How could he do this to you?

You scan the surroundings, noticing the whispers of your name intertwined with Billy's and Heather's. The tightness in your chest and the shallowness of your breaths propel you outside, desperate to escape the humiliation suffocating you.

As you step into the open air, the familiar roar and screech of Billy's sports car pierce through, reigniting your panic. Frantically, you search for a hiding spot, cursing the town for its lack of concealment amidst the cornfields and vast open spaces.

Before you can flee, Billy rushes toward you, not caring who he bumps into on the way.

"Y/N! Damn it, I'm so sorry—" he begins, but you instinctively retreat, needing distance.

"Please don't," you interrupt, stepping away from him.

"Y/N, please, I feel terrible about last night. It was the worst and—" Billy attempts to explain, desperation coloring his voice.

“Apparently to everyone else, you had a great time last night.” you retort bitterly.

"What?" Billy's confusion is palpable as he tries to approach you, but you evade him once more.

"I guess you and Heather had a blast while I waited until 11," you accuse, moving to leave.

"Y/N, please, just let me explain," Billy implores, blocking your path and holding your shoulders. Reluctantly, you meet his gaze, fixating on his shirt.

"I got into a huge fight with my dad, got pissed, and went to a party. I only meant to stay for a bit, but I guess I lost track of time," he confesses.

"And ended up with Heather," you interject sharply.

"Y/N, I never meant to hurt you. I don't even remember anything from last night. I'm so sorry," Billy pleads, his anguish evident.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" you demand, your voice laced with hurt.

"Of course not. I just... I don't know. I'm just so sorry for not being there. I should've come to be with you after the fight with my dad," he admits, regret etched in his features.

"Yeah, you should've," you agree, turning away. Robin stands on the sidewalk, waiting for your signal to intervene.

“Y/N, what can I do? How can I make this better?” Billy pleas, watching you depart, a tear slipping down his cheek.

"Time," you respond, glancing back at him, feeling a pang of sorrow at his tear-streaked face. "I need time."

Your voice wavers as you walk away, leaving Billy standing alone. Robin opens her arms for you, sensing your pain and tears beginning to fall.

"Asshole!" Robin shouts at Billy as she guides you back to her car.

Inside the car, you steal a glance at Billy, witnessing his anguish as he covers his face with his hands.

In that moment, you realize you've never simultaneously hated and loved someone as intensely as you do right now.

Taglist: @msbillyhargrove @uselessbutinteresting @milestellergfs @ghostcastaway @missingbillyhargrove @lotionlamp @billys-pretty-babe @isimpfortoomanypeople @rosey96 @girlwifteef @miheartsedthings @empathyroad @notzoey @iletmytittiestitty-russ @the-ch0sen-on3

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my-own-walker · 1 year

Note

hi hi can u plz do an imagine of what aftercare is like with pre-death kyle spencer?? THANK U SM

+ "could u do some pre death kyle smut fem. like obv hes a sub before he died so some cute like first time in the relationship smut. YERP TY FOR READING 😎" - anon

Superposition

note: well of course, lovelies! i could do that for ya. giving you all a twofer with this!

warnings: (unprotected) sm*t, disgusting amounts of fluff, kyle's weird music taste (toto, really?) fem!reader

+++

I met Kyle in calc. I don't know what I was thinking when I signed up for a class of that caliber.

To be fair, calculus is easy for some. For me, an English major, not so much. I struggled horrendously in class. My mind was not oriented in the realm of math. With dozens of papers and other writing assignments due in my other classes, it was no wonder I couldn't wrap my head around derivatives and complex analysis.

You know how college is. No assigned seats. Just vibes. On the first day of class everyone sorta just...decides where they're gonna sit for the rest of the semester.

I chose my typical seat in the back of the room. I always sat in the back row nearest to the door in every class. It was a surefire way to make sure I could escape at the end of the lesson without having to interact with anyone.

Kyle Spencer, notorious campus fratboy, was in my class. The only reason I even knew of him was because of a stunt his fraternity pulled during a party I was at. I went for the alcohol and stayed for the insane blonde boy doing pushups in the corner the whole night as part of some dumbass hazing.

He was one who was willing to do anything to impress his frat brothers. He had apparently been a human coat rack at one party, and at another, he got so belligerently drunk that he ended up asleep in the fountain outside the library -- 2 miles from the party.

I wasn't one to engage in the school's Greek activities. I went to parties to get drunk and would be home by midnight. I wasn't particularly interested in paying to have friends, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

Kyle picked the seat next to me on the first day of the semester. Well actually, he didn't pick it. It was forced upon him by his tendency to be extremely late to class. The seat next to mine was literally the only one open when he arrived.

As it turns out, Kyle was impressively good at calculus. Like inhuman. Thank god he sat next to me because during tests I could just cheat off of him.

Well, that was until he caught me one day.

We'd had a quiz that I was hopelessly clueless on. I did my usual cheating routine, the stretch and look. But this time, Kyle's head snapped in my direction. He let out a laugh and covered his quiz with his hand.

Oh, so we're the perfect little suck-up now, are we, Spencer? I thought.

I struggled through the rest of the quiz, leaving about half of it blank before time was called. I shot a glare in Kyle's direction as I walked to the front to hand the damn thing in.

I slumped back in my seat with a huff and began to pack up my things. The class started to file out so I rushed to get out ahead of the crowd.

'Wait, wait,' Kyle called to me. I whipped around and stared him dead in the eyes, trying to set him on fire with my mind. Not only for making me fail the quiz but also now for making me late. 'If you need help on the quizzes I'll help you.'

'Yeah?' I said, attitude obvious in my tone.

'Yes. But you can't cheat,' he smirked. 'Let me tutor you.'

'What, as community service hours for your fraternity obligations?' I challenged.

'Well, yes. But also because I want to! I love math,' he grinned.

'Okay, what's my name, then? If you know it, you can tutor me,' I said, proud of myself for my attempt to stump him. There was no way he knew a nobody like me.

'Y/N,' he replied, still grinning. 'I know you.'

Begrudgingly I decided to meet him at the library that night to go over what I was confused about on the quiz. We went over everything and he actually broke it all down in such a helpful way. I don't think I had ever understood math clearly until Kyle explained it.

When he finished going over everything I started to pack up my things to leave.

'Whoa Y/N hold on, do you wanna go get coffee or something?' Kyle asserted, flashing his five-star smile.

'At...9 pm?' replied.

'Just, I mean like-' he stammered.

'No sure, I mean that's fine. I'll take a coffee,' I smiled.

He walked close to me through campus to the only little coffee shop that would be open at that hour. It was aptly called 'Sleepwalker Coffee Co.' They knew their audience well. College students need caffeine at all hours of the day, as we all know.

He bought. I swooned. A man who buys me coffee? A dream.

We nestled into a small booth in the corner of the place. It was unsurprisingly packed in there. Tons of students getting work done while fraying their nerves with cups of liquid energy. It was dark and plush in there. Velvet seating, dark looming bookshelves, royal purple drapes on the windows. It was my kind of place.

We talked for a while about people in our class. Just the oddballs who stood out to us. Like Turtleneck Guy, who without fail, even on the hottest days, wore a turtleneck sweater. Or Test Girl, the girl that was always first to finish any test and made a large point of running up to the front to hand it in.

'So Kyle,' I started, resolving to change the subject a bit. He looked up from his drink inquisitively. 'I have a question.'

'Go on,' he said, laughing nervously.

'You said you knew me. How?' It was the question that had been nagging at my mind all day. Ever since he made a point of saying that. I thought I was a mysterious unknown, just trying to get through college unscathed.

'Oh, damn, I don't know what I expected you to ask but it was not that. You scared me,' he laughed. 'I've known you since Freshman year. The dorms?'

'The dorms?' I asked, needing further clarification.

'Yeah, Clarence Hall? You lived on a different floor than me but I remember you. I'd always see you on Tuesdays. You'd walk in as I walked out at like...3 pm? I'd always wave,' he explained.

'I have to be so honest with you Kyle, I do not remember that,' I replied, laughing as I spoke. 'You have a really solid memory.'

'Nah, I just thought you were prett- uh- cool. Pretty cool, ya know? Made me take note of you in my mind,' he quipped, pointing to his temple.

'Oh, really?' I blushed. I was at a loss for something to say. As he looked at me with those dark brown puppy dog eyes I couldn't help but feel something I'd never felt toward him before.

It wasn't long before our study dates became a regular thing. Kyle helped me get a B on the next quiz, all on my own. No cheating involved. He was so proud of me, he wrapped me in a bear hug, picked me up, and spun me around.

Then, our study dates became actual dates not long after. Our first real date was at his fraternity's date party. I felt so stupid showing up in my dark makeup and knee-high Doc Martens to an event where all the girls had fake tans and tight body-con dresses. Nonetheless, he showed me off like a proud fisherman shows off his biggest catch. We danced all night long and afterward, he asked me to be his girlfriend. It was also the night of our first kiss.

Kyle kept things slow with me. I wasn't used to that in a partner. He never pressured me into anything. In fact, I was the one initiating intimate contact half the time. I didn't mind. We were happy.

We had just taken the final for our calc class. For once, I felt confident about the work I handed in. Kyle gave me a kiss on the cheek as I got back from handing it in. It was a good feeling. I was finally free of math. I only needed one math class for my degree and bam, I finished it. And I got a boyfriend out of it. Not too shabby, Y/N.

'We need to celebrate!' Kyle declared as we walked out of the classroom into the sunlight. 'You, my dear, are a calc class success story! My crowning achievement.' He pulled me into his side and kissed me on the head as we walked.

'Thank you, Spencer. I owe ya a million,' I replied.

'Thanks for sayin' yes to my tutoring offer,' he quipped back. 'Best idea I ever had.'

We walked back to my apartment, sharing headphones and listening to Stevie Wonder songs. One of his favorite artists. My apartment was the only place he and I could get any privacy. I had a flatmate, but our rooms were on opposite ends of the place.

Kyle, upon entering my room, immediately plugged his phone into the speaker I had on my dresser. He paused for a second to select his playlist and turned around to me dramatically as the beginning of ‘Hold The Line’ by Toto played.

'You are such a dork,' I giggled, sitting on my bed.

'Baby, it's a good song and you know it,' he said, dancing toward me. He was very corny, but I needed that in a partner.

He flopped down onto the bed next to me, crossing his legs at his ankles and resting his hands on his chest. He stared up at the ceiling as he hummed along to the song.

I locked my phone and threw it onto the windowsill next to me and looked down at my boyfriend. His beautiful eyes stared blankly into space. I couldn’t help but attack him with kisses.

He leaned into them, humming in content as we made out. I swung my leg over his torso, straddling his hips as the kissing got hotter. My hands moved up to the top of his plaid button-up shirt. I hovered over the buttons and separated myself from his mouth to ask ‘okay?’

He nodded and pulled me by the back of my neck back into kissing him. I unbuttoned his top, leaving his chest exposed. I kissed him down his neck and chest, leaving hickeys as I went. Marking my property, if you will.

He moaned with each new spot that I kissed. It was delicious. A moment I never wanted to end.

The song ended. ‘Hello It’s Me’ by Todd Rundgren began to play. Our song. It was as if the universe understood what was about to happen.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked, looking at him. He opened his eyes and nodded.

‘Yeah, Y/N, I’m great,’ he sighed blissfully.

‘Is this about to happen?’ I replied. I really wanted to make sure before I started to tear more of his clothes off.

‘Yeah, I think I’m ready,’ he breathed, a look I couldn’t quite read on his face.

I started at his jeans, struggling to pull them off. We both laughed awkwardly. Once they were off, I really drank in his appearance. His nearly naked form.

I started to take off my own clothes, once again straddling Kyles hips. Except this time with a prominent bulge underneath me. Something stirred inside of me.

Before I tugged off his underwear I stopped again.

‘Okay?’ I asked, fingers under the waistband of his boxers.

‘Mhm,’ he grunted.

He was completely naked. And so was I. A form we had never seen each other in before. He was…bigger…than I expected. Excitedly, I guided his cock into me.

‘Fuck,’ he moaned and gripped the sheets.

Gently, very gently, I began to ride him. His length seemed to go so far into me that it reached my limit. I moaned gutterally at the feeling of him. My hips moved instinctively. His hips bucked at the motion. He bit his bottom lip and grabbed my bare thighs tightly.

‘Can I?’ he breathed, beginning to sit up to switch positions.

‘Of course,’ I replied.

Still inside of me, Kyle took my place on top. He thrust even deeper into me. I almost couldn’t take it. I screwed my eyes shut and stifled a yelp. He pulled out at the sight of my discomfort, placing a hand on my cheek.

‘No, no, it’s fine,’ I panted.

‘I don’t wanna hurt you,’ he replied.

‘You won’t, I promise,’ I assured him.

He thrust into me again, with such force that I couldn’t help but yell out a bit. He kissed me as he fucked me senseless. I grabbed his shoulders to anchor myself, but accidentally raked down his back, leaving scratches with my nails.

He pulled out, panting loudly.

‘I think I’m gonna come,’ he said.

‘It’s okay, you can do it in me,’ I whispered, nodding assuringly.

He took a deep breath and entered me again. I was soaking wet. With a few more strokes he came, spilling his hot load into my cunt. He moaned loudly, throwing his head back in ecstasy.

Kyle fell back onto the bed next to me, breathing heavily. I moved my hair from my face, sweat making it stick to my forehead.

‘That- that was my first time,’ Kyle huffed. I shot up to a sitting position.

‘Wait, that was?!’ I exclaimed.

‘Yeah, oh my god,’ he sighed. ‘And it was so good.’

‘Kyle I’m sorry, I had no idea!’ I cried out, smacking his chest softly. ‘You should have told me!’

‘No I didn’t want to tell you,’ he laughed, ‘you worry too much. It wouldn’t be natural.’

‘My god Kyle, you were so good,’ I groaned, falling back onto my pillow.

‘You don’t have to say that to be nice, Y/N,’ he breathed.

‘No, I’m so serious Kyle.’

He sat up and drank me in, looking me up and down.

‘You are so beautiful,’ he said. He wrapped me up in a hug and pulled me into his chest. We intertwined our legs and he started stroking my hair. ‘Dear Prudence’ by The Beatles was playing. He starting singing along softly.

‘The sun is up, the sky is blue, it’s beautiful, and so are you,’ he sang, rocking me gently in his arms. ‘That’s really how I feel about you. You’re as beautiful as the bluest sky.’

My heart swelled. He was so forthright with his feelings. It was refreshing.

‘Do you wanna shower with me?’ he asked, breaking the silence. ‘I think we both need it now.’

‘Uh yeah, sure baby,’ I replied, giggling a bit. He got up and stood at the edge of the bed, holding out a hand to help me up. He followed me to the bathroom connected to my room, peppering kisses all over my shoulders as we walked. I started the water and we got in, embracing in the warmth of the water.

‘Lemme wash you,’ he mumbled, still kissing my neck and shoulders.

He massaged body wash into my skin as he continued to hum tunes to me. I looked up at him in awe. I had never been with someone so loving and caring.

We got out and changed into pajamas, nestling into my bed for the night.

‘I love you, Kyle,’ I murmured.

‘I love you more,’ he replied.

+++

I hope this was okay! I feel like I’m getting the hang of writing like this but I still need practice. Thank you both for your requests!

#evan peters #evan peters fic #evan peters x female reader #ahs #evan peters x reader #evan peters oneshot #kyle spencer #kyle spencer x reader #kyle spencer x y/n #ahs coven

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heda-in-the-clouds · 1 month

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How long before they 👌👈

It's been two weeks since Lexa first attended Clarke's self defense class. Class was now over and Clarke and Lexa openly flirted with each other as the other students left for the night. Usually, Anya interrupted their shameless flirting and dragged Lexa back home. However, Anya couldn't make it to class tonight which left Clarke and Lexa all the time in the world.

Nearly half an hour passed before either of them noticed they were the only ones left in the studio. Clarke apologized for keeping Lexa so late. Lexa smiled and said that she didn't mind it at all. She could spend all night talking with someone as charming as her.

At this point, Clarke noticed that Anya wasn't around to take Lexa back home. When she asked, Lexa told Clarke that she took an Uber to class so she'll just take one back home. Clarke offered to give Lexa a ride back home which she accepted.

Their flirting didn't stop during the car ride. In fact, Clarke had trouble keeping her eyes on the road when all she wanted was to stare at Lexa in her passenger seat. Meanwhile, Lexa kept her hand on Clarke's thigh inching closer to her crotch the closer they got to her place.

Once the car was parked, the realization dawned between them what would inevitably happen if Lexa invited Clarke inside her apartment. Lexa spoke first to break the tension and asked if Clarke would like to come upstairs. Clarke eagerly said yes.

As soon as Lexa closed her door, Clarke spun her around and kissed her hard. They moaned once they felt the warmth of each other's lips and bodies pressed tightly against each other. They deepened the kiss sensing the growing heat between their bodies. Suddenly, Clarke pulled away causing Lexa to whine the loss of her body against hers.

"Lexa wait!"

"Why'd you stop Clarke? Do you not want this?"

"God Lexa. I want you so damn much but I feel like I'm taking advantage of you."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm your instructor. I feel bad that you spent your money on my class just so you can flirt and sleep with me. I feel like I should give you your money back."

"I'm not that worried about money Clarke. I actually like your class and getting to flirt with you was always a bonus."

"Who's the charming one now?"

"Well, I learned from the best. Now, can we please get back to where we left things off?"

"Okay but I have a challenge first. You said you actually like my class. Well, I want you to prove it."

"Uh, prove it how?"

"Show me you actually learned something useful from all of my lessons. We're going to spar and I want you to pin me down for 5 seconds. Manage that and we'll get back to making out."

"Are you serious right now?"

"Yeah. This will make me feel better about myself."

"Fine. 5 seconds doesn't seem too long."

"And I won't be holding back. You'll actually have to use the techniques I taught you."

"Ugh come on Clarke! We could have been getting sweaty in my bed by now."

"Nope. I won't fall for that Lexa."

"Can't blame me for trying."

"Oh and one more thing Lexa. If you can't pin me down in 5 minutes, I'm leaving and you'll have to wait until next week's class."

"Really?!"

"Think of it as incentive. You'll get your reward if you beat me."

Despite Lexa's pouting, Clarke held firm in her stance. Lexa motioned them to move to her living room for more space. They stood on opposite corners, Clarke in a defensive stance while Lexa maintained an offensive position. Once Lexa moved forward, Clarke started her 5 minute timer.

At first, Lexa decided to test out if Clarke was actually serious. She lazily launched herself at Clarke who quickly countered and pushed Lexa away. Lexa tried again but met the same result as she was knocked down on her ass. Lexa realized that Clarke was actually taking this whole challenge seriously. No matter what Lexa did, Clarke easily blocked and deflected her moves.

As the timer ticked closer to zero, Lexa was getting frustrated that she hasn't been able to land a solid tackle on Clarke. She had to break Clarke's focus so she needed to find a way to distract her. A devious idea then popped into her head. Lexa knew she had to play dirty to win the challenge. She suddenly stripped out of her sports bra and shorts, leaving her fully naked in front of Clarke.

Clarke was frozen in disbelief that she's now face to face with a fully nude Lexa. She never envisioned her first time seeing Lexa naked would happen this way. Although she daydreamed Lexa naked multiple times during class, the actual sight of Lexa's nude body in front of her surpassed her expectations.

Seeing Clarke distracted and caught off guard, Lexa made her move and rushed towards her. She aimed low and drove her full strength towards Clarke's hips. She pushed Clarke off balance and tackled her to the ground. She quickly pinned her in a basic hold down and started counting.

"One. Two. Three. Four and Five! Fuck yeah! I did it! We get to fuck now!"

Lexa hopped off Clarke in triumph and started prancing around the room in excitement at her victory. Clarke was still in shock and left speechless that Lexa's dirty move actually worked. Clarke groaned as she watched Lexa bounce with excitement in front of her.

Lexa told Clarke to stop frowning because she won the challenge and she wants to claim her reward now. She tells Clarke that she'll be waiting for her in the bedroom. Lexa sauntered away putting an extra sway in her hips.

Finally snapping out of her daze, Clarke realized that she still wins in the end because she now gets to sleep with Lexa. Clarke quickly got off the floor and chased a cocky Lexa to her bedroom.

Once inside, she threw herself at Lexa and pushed her to her bed.

"Now that's a strong tackle."

"How about you show me a powerful thrust instead?"

#pinned down au #clexa #rory's fic #rory's response #lg-wifey4lifey #g!p clarke griffin

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teataglia · 2 years

Text

𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐇𝐢𝐦, 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝

pairing: cyno x f!reader

warnings: SMUT, established relationship, role playing (?) power dynamics, sir kink, slight dacryphilia, oral (f! and m! receiving), vaginal penetration, slight restraining, slight dubcon (just in case), praise + slight possessiveness, a very bad pun at the end

wc: 1.6k

tea’s note: in honor of cyno coming home in a few hours, and the demo coming out i decided to treat my king, ok i proofread it but half asleep so no promises it's perf <3 pls enjoy

“Get on your knees for me, pretty,” Cyno orders, leaning back in his office chair, hands clasped together in amusement. You quiver, unsure if this is a test. You had only just entered his office after receiving his summons from your post.

“Did I do something wrong, sir?” you ask hesitantly. Your legs weaken out of fear and maybe a little arousal as well.

Cyno doesn’t respond, only gestures to the ground in front of him, a small, pitiless smile adding to his wolfish expression. The hunger in his eyes is undeniable as you sink to your knees in front of him, obediently waiting for his next command.

“Please, sir, if I wronged you or the Akademiya in some way, please tell me. I’ll do anything I can to make it right,” you grasp at straws, mind racing at what you could have done to not only catch the attention but also cross your superior so much to warrant this punishment. Your brows furrow as you stare up at him with concern, your heart sinks as dread takes hold of you. But your face is inches away from a growing bulge that you can’t ignore which causes slick to pool in your panties. You subconsciously rub your thighs together, eager to get a taste of him as you catch your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Don’t look at me like that or I won’t be able to hold myself back,” Cyno’s voice deepens, the corner of his mouth twitching as his hooded gaze flickers between your eyes and your plump lips. He palms himself roughly through his shorts. “Fuck, you look so good down there, baby. You can help me out a little here, hmm?”

You nod immediately, eyes burning with desire as you lean forward and take his cock out, beads of pre already collecting at his tip. Cyno shudders when you lap at him lightly, almost sweetly.

“That’s it, pretty girl, now suck it,” his lids flutter shut as you comply. You kiss the head, savoring his taste before you take him into your mouth, sinking down so far that you feel him hit the back of your throat. You try to relax, but he’s too thick and you have to release him with a pop as you sputter and gasp for air. “Aww, is my baby choking already? Don’t worry, I’ll go slow.”

You don’t miss the taunting tone as you reassume your position, ready to try again. He taps his dick against your lips impatiently. “Open up, sweetheart.”

Again, you obey, taking him fully in, cheeks hollowing and tongue swiping up and down his shaft, tracing over the thick veins. When he meets the back of your throat, rather than giving you time to adjust like he promised, Cyno instead brings his hand to the back of your head to press you farther and farther down. You slacken your jaw completely, allowing him to force himself deeper. Tears slip past your screwed shut eyes as you struggle to take him in, but the groans and guttural praises that Cyno offers makes it all worth it. You bob up and down, spit dribbling down your chin. With one hand braced against his hips, the other slyly sneaks between your thighs, rubbing your clit as you fulfill the wish you’ve always dreamed of.

As soon as you fall into a rhythm, Cyno takes note and thrusts up to meet the bobs of your head half way. His head falls back as his cock drags in and out of your warm throat, getting lost in the way you treat him. He fucks your face mercilessly, reveling in the tears that stain your cheeks and the gagging noises that indicate you’ve entirely given yourself up to him. It’s only when he knows you’ve relinquished ownership of your body that he shoots his cum down so far down your throat you don’t even have to swallow.

He pries you off of him after catching his breath and lays you on your back on his desk, your mind already clouded and he hasn’t even touched you yet. He yanks your thighs towards him so you’re almost hanging off the edge, but your fogged brain trusts him enough to not drop you. Your thighs rest limply against his shoulders as he inhales your scent through your panties. You yelp as he licks a fat stripe up your covered slit, tasting a diluted version of you, craving more.

“Mmm, pretty girl tastes so good. And she’s all mine,” Cyno nips at your inner thighs as he pulls your panties off, pocketing them for later. He dives in, lips attaching to your cunt while his tongue swirls deliciously around your sensitive clit. With the taste of you hot on his tongue, he groans unabashedly, losing himself on the candied flavor of your nectar. Your hips buck against his face, essence coating his mouth and chin as you writhe from his relentless laps. All you can do is take it with the tight grip Cyno has on your hips, keeping you still for him as sweet whines fall from your parted lips.

His head ducks lower as his tongue runs through your folds, poking and prodding at your fluttering hole. He pushes past your walls, the intensity of his muscle overwhelms you. Cyno brings his thumb to rub tight circles over your throbbing bundle. You tremble in his hold, body arching as he drinks you in and slurps you up. His tongue plunges in and out of you, keeping your thoughts blurred. His breathing comes out ragged and he feels how your walls tighten around his tongue. He smirks ominously but your mind’s far too gone to feel it or recognize the implications. As he keeps drawing you towards the edge, the coil in your stomach tightens and right as it’s ready to snap, right as your moans build to a crescendo, Cyno pulls away. He stands up, leaning over your quivering body to stare down at the mess he made.

A sob tears from your raw throat, thoughts too muddled to care about how loud you’re being. “Let me come, please, sir, I’ve done everything you asked for, please let me cum, please!” Fat tears fall but Cyno’s thumb is right there, ready to catch and wipe them away.

“You’re right, you’ve been nothing but good for me. Which is why you get to cum on my cock rather than my tongue.” He cups your cheek tenderly, a far cry from how he just treated your body. “Now what do you say.”

“T-thank you,” you choke out between broken hiccups. Cyno pushes in to the hilt as soon as those innocent words are uttered. He loves how stupid and desperate you get for him, only ever for him. His hips snap against yours as he ruts shamelessly into you. The thick head of his cock nudges parts deep within you that have never been reached before and your back arches yet again. Cyno throws his head back as he feels your tight walls suck him in further, your hands desperately reaching out for him.

While Cyno loves watching your pathetic display, he doesn’t want to risk getting slapped. He collects your flailing hands in one of his calloused ones and holds them above your head, immobilizing you absolutely. The harshness of his thrusts never let up as he leans over to give you a chaste peck on the cheek. “Calm down, sweetheart. Just lie back and let me take care of you.”

He continues to pound away into you, the thick drag of his cock along your walls keeps you dumb as your hips jerk to meet his. You’re only full of him, thinking of him, dumb for him, just the way he likes you. His bulging cock veins brush a certain spot inside you and you seize up again, clamping and tensing around him like you’ll never let him go. “Shit, baby, I’m so close. Wait for me,” he barks harshly, another order.

You wrap your legs around his waist, linking your ankles together behind him as you pull him flush to you. He bottoms out, and the force of the push has him reaching deeper in you than before and has you both cumming on each other. You shudder in his hold, nails raking up his back, and crying out so loudly he has to clamp a hand over your mouth in order to keep you at bay. As you both come down, you hold onto each other, experiencing a shaky recovery together.

Cyno litters your face with kisses before pulling out and tucking himself away. “You okay, pretty girl? I didn’t get too rough?” Concern evident in his voice as he wipes you clean with a damp compress.

You kiss his nose, very much appreciating his softer side during times like these. “You were perfect.”

He slips your top back on, massaging sore muscles and liberally planting kisses all over your body. “Okay, well, if you’re fine, I have more work to do. I’ll cashew later.”

You stand up, stretching a bit before smacking him jovially on your way out. “You’re making your own dinner tonight.”

“Can’t wait.”

It’s not until you’ve already left the building that you remember Cyno still has your panties.

#｡⋆ʚ♡⃛ɞ ᴛᴇᴀ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇs #˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ᴛᴇᴀ ʟᴜsᴛs #cyno x reader #cyno x you #cyno x y/n #cyno smut #genshin x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin impact x y/n #genshin smut #genshin x you #genshin x y/n

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clumsiestgiantess · 2 months

Text

Part — what is this.. four of the ‘tiny in the cold’ story! (wow that’s a lot more than the oneshot I intended it to be; thanks for the support!) @entomolog-t it’s back!

[Alice’s pov]

My alarm clock buzzes obnoxiously to my left, but for once I’m not annoyed by it. I need to get up; it’s exam day. The exam starts… NOW! “What?! I- Oh my god, I set the alarm for the time I needed to be there! I’m going to be so late!” Dashing through the house, I shove a blueberry muffin into my mouth, throw my coat on, grab my bag, and speed out the door. Jabbing the elevator button every half a second, I practically pounce into the empty space once the doors open. Thank goodness there was no one in here. From the moment I step into the lobby, the rest of the trip is a blur.

My brain only finally starts working about a half-hour into testing. Miraculously, they made an exception and let me in. I’d blamed my lateness on the slick ice lining a few of the roads instead of my own confusion, and the proctor believed me. I mean, technically it is the truth. I was a bit slower coming here because of the ice, though not by much.

Thankfully, this is one of my easier exams. Even with my grogginess, I have extra time to look through — and redo — the parts I’d done in my half-asleep mind. I finish the edits with a mere minute to spare. There are a few quick celebrations between me and a few of my friends who were also taking it, then I head back home. One final down, four more to go.

My schedule from then on would be to rinse and repeat over the next few days — eat a meal, study, eat another meal, study, maybe sleep, then go back for another test. When I go to bed that night, I double check that I changed the alarm to give me some time to actually get up.

That next morning, I have enough time to eat breakfast and glance over my notes before heading back out to yet another exam. It had snowed overnight, and I hurriedly brushed it off the windshield before heading out. I actually made it here a bit early! Maybe I can go see if Terri-

“Wait!” I flinch. Who’s voice is that? “Please! I-” The strange voice stops as abruptly as it started speaking. Immediately, I turn in my seat, scanning the back for any sign of another person in here with me. A tiny-sounding whine directs me to the floor. “What the hell?” There’s.. a small.. thing moving around down there, halfway tucked inside a beanie that I’d lost a while back. “Am.. Am I hallucinating? I can’t!” I yelp suddenly, remembering where I am, “I have exams; I can’t be hallucinating during exams!” The little — very humanlike — thing collapses to the floor. I knew I should’ve gone to bed earlier. This isn’t real, right? That’s a palm-sized person on the floor. I rub a hand tiredly over my face and look again. They’re still there. “Holy shit. You’re.. real.”

Leaning down over the console of the car, I twist myself around so I can see them better. They’re shaking so badly. “Are you alright?” I ask, worry beginning to gnaw at my stomach. “How long have you been in my car? You must be freezing!” Their little head nods very slightly. “Are you another person?” They flinch, and I regret my last question. Of course they’re a person. They just spoke to me. Quietly, their voice rasps out, barely audible. “I’m a person. Please don’t leave me out here again. I- I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive this time.”

My stomach sinks horribly in my chest. How long has he been stuck out here in the cold? He’s so small; he’ll freeze so easily. “O- Of course, yes; I won’t leave you in here to freeze!” I gasp. “Do you mind if I.. umm.. pick you up?” I don’t have time to try to warm him where he is on the floor. I doubt he really needs the extra fright of me trying to handle him, especially because he already seems so desperate, but if I don’t leave soon, I’m going to be late twice in a row. One time I can get away with, but twice and I’ll probably get in trouble, or worse, kicked out.

A tiny head shake — no, he wouldn’t mind it. I let out a relieved breath. I honestly have no idea what I would’ve done if he’d refused. Leave him here? Out of the question. Pick him up anyway? That would be horrible of me. Give him the choice to either come with me or be left here? That just sounds like a threat. Thankfully he’s either willing enough — or desperate enough — to trust me.

Carefully, I reach down for him, sliding my fingers gently beneath him and guiding his tiny body into my hand. He squirms against me as I tighten my grip slightly in order to lift him. My heart skips a beat; his hands grip my finger tightly — shaking and icy cold. Poor thing. I wish I had more time to help you. I lift him upright and slide back into my seat slowly so I don’t jostle him. Hesitantly, he chances a glance up at me. “I’m gonna keep you in my pocket, ok?” I ask, though I know it’s more like telling him what I’ll do with him than actually asking. It hurts my heart in a strange way, recognizing that. “I.. really don’t have time to deal with this right now, but you’ll be plenty warm there. I’m so sorry, but I have to go.” A quick apology will have to suffice until later.

Lowering him into my pocket and dropping him carefully onto the bottom, I reach for the door handle. However, I flinch away from it as a cry tears through the car. “It’s ok; you’re alright! I’m not gonna-” “It’s too hot! I need something colder! Please! It burns!” His cries get louder and more pained. In an instant, I reach in to pull him out and he rushes for my fingers, clinging tightly to them. I freeze, unsure if I should move with him so close. “Th- Thank you,” I hear him gasp. Still, I’m frozen. What do I do if I can’t leave him in there? He’s shaking so awfully against me. His little body is almost drenched in sweat from struggling with the pain for so long. Will he be alright?

“You’re.. you’re ok now? Like that?” I ask worriedly. He nods, face nearly pressed against my palm. “Ok. Try not to yell like that anymore unless it’s an emergency. I don’t need to be kicked out of the testing room and searched. Who knows what the punishment is for sneaking a tiny guy into the room, or what they’ll do with you for that matter.” Now is really not the time to find a tiny person struggling for life, but I’ll do my best to help him. If that means leaving the testing room on account of some fake ‘emergency’ to help him, then so be it. I’d rather keep him alive over anything else.

Once I’m sure he’s comfortable, I step outside. Every single movement I make becomes calculated with him in my pocket. What if I walk too fast and hit him accidentally? What if I sit down and crush him? Did I put lotion on my hands this morning? He’s sitting tucked right against my palm. It would feel so cute if it wasn’t a literal tiny human sitting there. My hands are peeling from the cold; is that the one with the torn skin or is that- No, it’s this one. My worries just start to fade as testing time officially starts and I focus on the questions in front of me instead of the ones in my head.

However, about an hour later, I feel light pressing against my fingers. The tiny person’s hands shove at me until I move away. Confused and worried, I take my hand out of my pocket and inconspicuously glance down. His little face peers up at me and nods slightly, assuring me I’d done nothing wrong. Oh, he’s probably warmed all the way up by now! Returning to my work, I try not to dwell on anything. Still, relief floods my system knowing that I’d saved him from what might’ve been the end of him. He’ll be alright now.

Finishing the exam, I’m one of the first people out the door. Finally, I can talk to my tiny stowaway. Once I’m in the car again, I gently pull him out of my pocket and hold him out in the palm of my hand to get a good look at him. As soon as I unfurl my fingers, he tucks himself into a tight ball — his heavy frightened breaths press against my palm. “Hey, little guy? I’m sorry about basically ignoring you earlier. Finals are this week and I really need them to go well,” I try to explain. “Are you alright? You’re warmer than before; that’s good! I hope my pocket wasn’t too claustrophobic for you.”

In small hesitant movements he gets up from his fetal position and sits on his knees on my palm, staring up at me with wide eyes. It’s strange — his clothes seem to be hand-stitched — his hair mussed and tangled. Bringing him just a little closer, I can count at least two different scars by just glancing over him. How long has he been small for? Did he shrink, or is he just.. something else entirely?

My thoughts are interrupted by his voice. It’s much stronger now, and a lot clearer with him held up closer to my head. There’s still a strange smallness about it that makes goosebumps dash along my arms. “I- I’m ok,” he answers me. I exhale in relief, and become entirely conscious of how the single breath ruffles his hair like a slight breeze. “Thank goodness; I really hoped you weren’t beyond saving. You were super cold when I found you, barely moving. Speaking of which, why were you in my car to begin with? And how in the world did you manage to shrink?” Compared with his few words and tiny voice, I feel almost like I’m speaking over him talking so much, though it doesn’t seem like he has much to say. The guy’s probably stunned enough by the scale of everything.

I watch his brows furrow in deep thought, and for a moment I believe he’ll tell me he didn’t even shrink. Perhaps he was magic. But if he is, wouldn’t he have been able to save himself? “I.. don’t remember. I can’t remember what happened before I shrank, but I’m definitely a human. Just smaller.” Oh. Oh! Oh no, poor thing. He’s probably been stuck so small for so long because he doesn’t even know where he is! No memories, stuck small, freezing weather — no wonder he was desperate for help. And now he’s begging me just to see him as a fellow human.

“Of course you’re still human! Being smaller won’t change that!” I assure him, inadvertently cupping my hand a bit closer around him. “I promise I don’t mean you any harm; I just want to make sure you’re ok. Come on, I’ll take you back to my place — get you something to eat.” I reach to put him away, but pause. “Oh, I’m Alice, by the way. Do you.. remember your name?” He looks frightened for a moment. “I don’t really remember much.” That’s horrifying! Not even your own name? I don’t say that, though. He probably already knows. “I can try to help you remember it, but if you can’t, I guess you can try out a new one for the time being.” He nods, relief settling some of his features. Placing him down in the cupholder beside me, I head for home.

The drive is horribly silent — which I can’t stand. I know my little companion probably needs time to think through some things now that I’ve finally noticed him. Why haven’t I noticed him before? Has he been in my car for a while? Realization dawned on me that he’d really have to be an excellent climber to be able to get in. He’s so small that the space between the edge of the car door and the ground must be over twice his height.

“Soo..” I begin awkwardly, “I do have a question you might know the answer to.” The little guy looks up at me, seemingly startled out of thought. “How did you get in my car?” His face pales, and he looks.. frightened? “I.. I snuck in yesterday morning.” “You climbed up all the way into my car? Why?” He turns guilty away from me, like I caught him in a lie. But why would he lie about how he got in here? “Uhh.. it was cold outside. Your car was warmer.. at the time.” Is he just embarrassed that he got stuck in here? It must’ve been rather freezing when it snowed yesterday. He.. could’ve died in here — alone! I’d have found his body whenever I next went to clean out my car.

“Oh! I locked you in here and then everything froze last night! Poor thing! I’m so sorry! I wouldn’t have left you here like that if I’d known you were in the car!” I feel so awful for believing he was trying to lie. Poor little guy was probably just having a hard time talking about it. The thought of his near-death while I wasn’t even there just occurred to me now, but he’d actually experienced the bitter cold that had likely come close to killing him. Of course he’d be nervous thinking about it.

Trying to change the subject, I begin ranting about finals. It’s the next thing on my mind I can think to talk about. I make it all the way back to my apartment, then turn to my tiny passenger. Flattening out my hand, I leave it gently on the center console right beside the cupholder he’s sitting in. “Here, hop on and I’ll bring you inside,” I tell him, “Would you like something to eat?” He nods, climbing up and sliding slowly and hesitantly into my palm. Even if he’s been tiny for quite a while, getting picked up by someone so much bigger than you must be a crazy terrifying experience. I slip him in my pocket as I step outside. I can’t risk someone seeing him, it just.. feels wrong to flaunt him around in the open for people to ogle at. He probably doesn’t want the attention drawn to himself anyway.

I let him out again when we’re safely behind the closed door of my apartment. Gently, I set him on the counter by taking off my whole jacket and putting it down. He’d been so frightened when I’d plucked him out of my pocket earlier, and I didn’t want to frighten him again. Patiently, I wait for him to come out to the countertop. “What would you like?” I ask kindly. He glances around the room, then points to the pantry. “What do you have in there?” Shrugging, I wander over and peer in. “Well, let’s see.. we have soup crackers, some cheese puffs, popcorn, mac and cheese — but I’d have to cook it first, obviously. “Oh! But I think you’ll like- ” Glancing back at the counter to see if he was interested in any of it, I find that he’s disappeared from view.

“Hey, umm.. little guy? Where’d you go?” I ask, stepping around the counter to the other side. He’s not there, either. I lift up my coat, but he’s still not there. “Where- Where’d you go?! This isn’t funny! You can’t just disappear!” Unless… I gasp and quickly scan the floor. Please don’t tell me he fell off. I- If he fell… “Hey! Please come back! I- I’m not that scary, am I? Why’d you leave? I don’t-” I don’t understand; there’s not a trace of him on the floor or the counter. “Come back! Whatever it is you’re frightened of, I’ll change it! Please don’t run off and get hurt somewhere! If you want to take care of yourself, that’s fine! Just.. please let me know so I don’t think something happened to you!”

Hours tick by as I scour the floor and countertops, searching for my little missing guest. All the while I call out various comforting things, trying to convince him to at the very least let me know that he’s alive. Still nothing. I can’t find him, and something tells me he doesn’t want to be found. By 4:00 in the morning, there’s still no answer, and I go to bed without one. I try to go to sleep, but all I can do is lay down and stare at the ceiling trying to listen for the sounds of something small moving around. Only at about 6:00 in the morning do I finally fall asleep for a good two hours before my alarm startles me awake. At least I don’t have an exam today. I just have to study.

I trudge down the hall to the kitchen and freeze. He could still be on the floor somewhere. Continuing my trek with much more caution than before, I make a bowl of cereal and sit down numbly. I stare out at nothing in particular; thoughts jumble in my head. My lack of sleep and my severe rise in anxiety combined to cause an awful feeling in my head. My stomach also started to feel the effects, and I left the kitchen only a few spoonfuls of food fuller than I had when I walked in.

Studying didn’t help my mood much, but every time I took a break from it, my mind would wander back to the tiny person potentially wandering around my home, too scared to ask for help when he likely needed it. Lunchtime came and went — I wasn’t hungry. I tried studying again by watching a few videos my professor posted. Those didn’t seem to make sense to me, and my anxiousness morphed into an ugly frustrated anger. “No! What? How?! I used the same formula and everything! What the heck?!” Crumpling my paper in a messy ball, I can already feel an angry scream building in my throat.

As quickly as my anger emerges, however; it fizzes out. My scream comes out as a sob and I fall against my desk. Nothing had gone right for me. Finals week is the absolute worst week for my luck to run out. “I’m gonna fail,” I whisper, “I can’t do this. Why is everything going so wrong? I just wanted to help him; why’d he run away? I feel sick. What if he’s hurt somewhere and can’t call for help? What if he’s too scared to call for help?” Tears fall down my face and sobs wrench out of my throat in gasps. My empty stomach roils painfully as I cry.

“Alice! It’s ok, I-” At the sound of a voice too small to have come from any normal person, I whirl around in my seat, furiously rubbing my eyes so I could see through my tears. I can’t find him on the floor, just like the night before, but I know I heard the tiny person I’d rescued. “Hello?” I call into the seemingly empty room. A voice responds. “It’s.. It’s ok. It’s me, the ‘little guy’.” I gasp a relieved breath, then stand, peering around the room for where he might be. His voice is so small I can’t tell where it’s coming from. “You’re… alright?” There’s a long silence, then: “Yeah.”

“Oh thank god!” I breathe fully for what feels like the first time in days. “You made me so worried for you! Are you hungry still? I- I know you haven’t eaten in a while since you.. ran off when I tried to get something for you.” I myself felt like I was starving. I could only imagine what he might be feeling. I’m kept waiting for a long time — so long that I’m afraid he’ll leave if I don’t say something. Steadying my voice with another deep breath, I offer an apology. “Look, I’m sorry I scared you off… I don’t know what happened, but I’m willing to work with you to try and get your memories and your old life back. I can’t imagine how terrifying it is to suddenly be so small, not even knowing how you got that way-” “Stop.”

I do, though I’m scared of how hollow his voice sounds. “That’s.. a lie. I remember everything just fine.” Has he given up on finding a way back to normal? Does he remember something awful that he hasn’t told me? No wonder it felt like he was lying to me. “So.. you just didn’t want to tell me how you shrank?” I ask, a bit confused. “No.. Alice, I- I never shrank. I’ve always been this way.” My mind goes blank for a moment. “Y- Wh- H-” I stutter, only half-words forming on my tongue. “I’m not human, Alice.”

He’s… He’s what? Slowly, I approach the bookshelf in front of me — where I can hear his voice now that he’s spoken enough for me to locate it. Kneeling on the floor, I gently bend down to peer beneath it. I’d already checked all the shelves to no avail. There’s a small crack in the baseboard of the wall behind the shelf. “Is that why you left?” I ask softly, “I promised I wouldn’t hurt you.” His voice becomes a bit harsher. “You promised the tiny human me that you wouldn’t hurt me,” he corrects. I blink confusedly, slowly connecting the dots. “You thought I would go back on my word if I knew you were lying to me? Or you just.. thought that I wouldn’t care because you’re not human?”

But that’s awful! Does he really think I would do that? My distracted gaze flits back to the crack in the wall. He’s there — standing in a position like he’s ready to flee at any sign of aggression, but he’s there. “I promised you that I wouldn’t hurt you. You. No matter who or what you were.” His expression shifts guiltily, and he glances away from me. “I’m a bit upset you wanted to lie to me about… everything. But I can’t be mad at you for being scared of me. I won’t ask you to talk to me anymore if you don’t want to, but just know, I’m glad you’re alright.”

A small smile edges along his face as he turns back to me. Carefully, the little.. person steps out of his hiding place. “You- You really mean that?” He asks, “You don’t care that I’m not one of you?” I exhale a tiny laugh and shake my head. “Of course not, don’t be silly! You’re safe here, I promise. I understand if you want to go home, though. You probably have others of your kind to get back to, and I’ve accidentally trapped you in my house.” His steps falter and guilt briefly dashes across his face again. “Well, about that… I kind of.. live here.”

Do I know anything about you? As he relayed what really happened, it turns out I really don’t. The only thing I do know about him that’s correct is the fact that he can fit in the palm of my hand, and of course the fact that he’d been freezing to death when I found him. Beyond that, it’s like a whole new world just opened up to me. I guess that makes sense, though. He is an entirely different species, which is insane to think about. I always thought we’d find human-intelligent beings on another planet before we ever found it here again.

“I actually did remember my name,” the little being — he told me he’s a borrower — confesses after talking to me about his life beneath my floors. “It’s just.. not really a human-sounding one, so I couldn’t exactly give you it. My name’s Fennel, but I mostly just go by Fen.” “Fen?” I ask. Well, it certainly isn’t a human-sounding name. I offer Fen a bright smile. “Nice to finally really meet you! How long have you been living here.. with me?” His eyes trail off in thought, “I moved in after you were already here, but you were still unpacking things, so I don’t think it was very far off from when you moved in, too.” So we’ve been living here together the whole time?!

“Where were you living before?” Fen shrugs, “Eh, another apartment in this building. The new people were too loud, so I moved out.” Wow, I wish I could’ve done that in my last apartment. I had to wait for the lease to expire. “I wish I could just pack up and slip into a new home whenever I have problems with the neighbors,” I tell him, mind already wandering to what I would do at his size, with his freedom.

“It’s harder than it seems,” Fen sighs, “I have to rebuild a livable space for myself every time.” Oh, right. Maybe I wouldn’t want to be a borrower after all. I sit back upright and my back cracks loudly as I do. “Hey, if you don’t mind, can you maybe come out from beneath there?” I ask, “It hurts my back to try to bend all the way to the floor to look at you.”

He’s hesitant, but Fen slowly makes his way over to the edge of the bookshelf. When he finally steps out from beneath it, I gently lay my hand in front of him palm-up, like I had in the car when I took him inside. “Can I hold you? Please?” This feels like a dream. Did I even find you, or did I fall asleep trying to study? To my relief, he gives me a slight nod. I watch in awe as he climbs up onto my palm — hands and feet no bigger than a fingernail. With Fen safely in my palm, I slowly and carefully lift him up to my face to ensure I’m really awake.

Concern crunches my eyebrows together. He has an empty fearful look, staring blankly through me with tensed muscles. “Fen?” His hands dart to his head, ducking beneath them for a tiny bit of safety. “Are you ok?” I ask softly, “You look sick. If this makes you uncomfortable, I can put you back down. You didn’t have to get on.” I can hear him breathing hard, but he stammers: “I- I’m alright.” Shaking my head, I cup my other hand around him gently. “You aren’t, though. You’re shaking.” With all the caution l can muster, I lower the pad of my finger against his chest. Just as I thought, his breaths rise and fall heavily against my finger — even his heartbeat thunders rapidly against it. He’s so.. delicate. Sitting in my hand like that, I just can’t describe the feeling in any way besides tiny and fragile and alive.

My eyes water in a sudden rush of relief, and I gently bring him to my chest, hugging his tiny form the best I can without crushing him. I finally feel relieved for the first time that week. “It’s alright now,” I exhale. Holding him there, I can feel his breathing slow and he relaxes in my light grip. Guiding him out in front of me again, I watch him curl up sleepily in my palm. His back presses softly into my cupped fingers as he blearily looks up at me. Awww, why does he have to look so cute like that? I’m sure he’s exhausted.

Glancing around the room, I notice that one of the smaller blankets on my bed had fallen to the floor. I scoop it up and place Fen down on my desk. He stumbles off, and I have to quickly grab him and lower him down before he falls face-first on the wooden surface. I bundle up the blanket so it’s reminiscent of a little mattress and pillow, then place it in the corner of my desk. Fen sleepily trudges over and slides into it. Checking to make sure he wouldn’t fall over the edge of my desk by blocking off the side with a book, I settle down and begin re-working the math problem that had gotten me so worked up earlier. Just as I finish it, Fen rolls over in his makeshift bed and mumbles something quietly. Get some sleep little guy; goodness knows you need it. I need it too, but more than that, I need to eat. After checking the problem against the key — I’d solved it correctly that time — I snuck off to the kitchen to make myself a quick meal before returning to my work. With Fen sleeping on my desk, I had to plug in my headphones to listen to the videos, but that didn’t bother me much. I had to stop yelling so much to avoid waking him, but I needed to calm myself down anyway. It wasn’t long after finishing the worksheet that I fell asleep right there against my desk, with my tiny roommate sleeping soundly beside me.

#originally planned to post this for the size-swap prompt for GtWAC #unfortunately it was definitely not going to be ready by then #But here it is now!#g/t #giant/tiny

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littlemissagrafina · 1 year

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Tired Tony

Inspired by this post by @irondadmadlads

Read on AO3

"Hey Karen, can you ask Friday to open up one of the living room windows for me?" Peter asked the AI as he swung in a broad arc around a building, Stark Tower standing proudly before him as he shot off another web.

He flung himself forward, Karen's answer sounding in his ear. "Based on your trajectory, window number three on the living room floor will be opened, Peter."

"Thanks, K!"

The tower loomed closer, and Peter angled himself, aiming for the window.

"And Boss would like to remind you to slow down for your window entrances."

He soared through the open window, arms windmilling as he tried to slow down at the last minute. He miraculously landed on his feet and Peter almost breathed a sigh of relief until he realised that his moment meant he was still going forward.

"Shit!"

His right foot stuck on the edge of the running carpet, his legs slipping out from under him as he fell backwards with a yelp, all the while sliding across the smooth flooring.

He slid to a stop on his back, looking up directly into the eyes of none other than Mr Stark himself.

The man quirked an eyebrow, looking decidedly torn between amusement and concern.

"Peter."

"Mr Stark."

"How many times do I need to tell you to slow down before flinging yourself through windows?" Tony questioned, reaching down and pulling Peter to his feet.

The teenager grinned sheepishly, rolling his shoulders and stretching till he felt a satisfying crack, snickering at Tony’s wince. "Probably a few more times."

The man rolled his eyes but Peter could see the fondness in the action. He could see the tiredness, too, in the darker than usual bags under Tony’s eyes as well as the slight slouch in his frame.

Peter was used to seeing a tired Tony, but there was a different heaviness to it now. More exhausted than just tired from a lab binge, and Peter narrowed his eyes, thoughts spinning.

"Hey Mr Stark?" He asked, pulling his mask off.

"Yeah, Bud?" Tony reached up and ruffled Peter's hair, no doubt making his already messy curls even more messy.

Peter ducked out from under his hand, half heartedly protesting even as he laughed at the gesture. The moment soothed him, though. If Tony was still joking around and being affectionate, then it wasn't because of nightmares that he was so tired. Whenever he had a bad night as far as nightmares were concerned, Tony tended to withdraw and become even more self-deprecating than usual.

Peter let himself relax a bit, although he decided to go ahead with his scheme anyway.

"Can we skip the lab today?" He brought out the puppy eyes as he asked, knowing exactly how to weaken Tony's resolve. "I'm a little worn out mentally from tests this week so I thought it would be nice to just order take out and maybe watch a movie?" Peter continued, the excuse falling easily from his lips.

Tony hesitated, shifting slightly on his feet, and Peter refused to let his mentor go back to the lab when he was so visibly tired.

"It's okay if you have work you need to do, I can watch by myself or swing home?" He lowered his voice dejectedly towards the end of his sentence, all the whole smirking inwardly when Tony instantly crumbled.

The man sighed, but his mouth quirked slightly and the lines around his eyes softened. "As if I would do that. You think I'd work while you're here watching a movie and eating take out? If anything, you're giving me an excuse for Pepper, later."

"Now c'mon, lets go choose what to order and we can pick up where we left off in our movie list." Tony flung his arm around his shoulders and Peter stepped in closer to him. Although it wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind when he was swinging over, he knew he would enjoy a lazy afternoon with his dad mentor just as much as working together in the lab.

The elevator doors sliding open and clicking heels brought Peter's attention to the penthouse entrance.

"Ms Potts! Help me!" He groaned dramatically, curls flopping over his head as his gaze swung around to rest on the woman.

Pepper's lips curled into an amused smile, her eyes shining, no doubt taking in the way that Tony was fast asleep, Peter pinned between him and the corner of the couch.

Tony had fallen asleep even before they'd reached the fifteen minute mark in their movie, takeout containers littered on the coffee table in front of them.

"I'm stuck." Peter commented unnecessarily.

"I can see that. You know who else would like to see this? May, that's who." Pepper grinned, holding up her phone and snapping a picture, sending it off to Aunt May before Peter could breathe a protest.

She slipped her phone into her pant suit pocket, and walked over to the couch, toeing her heels off as she did. She ran a hand over Peter's hair, pressing a kiss to his forehead in greeting as she smiled down at him and Tony.

"You're incredible, Peter. Friday showed me your little ruse against Tony." Pepper smirked at him before her expression softened again. "Thank you. He's been running on empty and refused to rest. It wasn't even over anything important, he just got hyperfixated on his work and all logic left his mind. So thank you. I'm glad he listens to you."

Peter smiled sheepishly at her. "It's not a problem Ms Potts. He makes me rest so I thought it was unfair if he refused to do the same. I just had to be sneaky about it."

"He always forgets that you can be just as sneaky as he can. I can't wait to see his face when he realises that you tricked him. Rhodey and Happy will never let him live down falling for his own trick." The businesswoman laughed quietly, her eyes alight with fondness and mirth.

She petted his hair, glancing at her watch. "Do you mind staying trapped a little longer while I get changed into something comfy?"

Peter shook his head. He was comfortable and more than happy to be cuddled like a teddy bear. "Nah, I honestly might just take a nap too. It wasn't too bad, but last week's tests did actually leave me pretty tired."

"Okay, I'll be back in a bit." She stood before pausing and looking at Peter. "Thank you, Peter."

He knew it was more than just a thank you for this, that it was for all the other times that he and Tony had helped each other, had laughed, bonded. Become family.

So he nodded, and leant his head back down against Tony’s chest and shoulder, drifting off with the comfort of the irregular yet steady heartbeat under his head

#peter parker #tony stark #pepper potts #irondad #spiderson #fandiction #irondad fanfiction #tired tony stark #cuddling #sleep deprivation

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mangoshorthand · 4 months

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Arrow of Time- [Five Hargreeves x F Reader]. Chapter 2 (Hard Feelings Part 5)

SUMMARY: When the mother of all teenage tantrums causes time itself to fracture, Five has to travel back to 1831 to repair the damage. But will he be able to cope with what he finds there? On to Chapter 3 >> << Back to Chapter 1

Aoife cheats on her math test...with disastrous results.

Blue balls for Five ahead.

Chapter 2: The Bike Shorts

When you enter the bedroom, Five’s lying on top of the sheets, still in his cycling gear (minus the helmet).He looks almost entirely calm now, chest rising and falling only slightly harder than usual. He flashes you his most charming smile, however, patting the bed beside him.

“Aoife ok?” he asks.

“Fine. Back to rolling her eyes.”

“Good,” he grins up at you, “well that was a shitshow.”

You flop down next to him and melt into his embrace.

“What brought it on?”

“It was stupid. I rode past the Argyle Public Library.” he runs his fingers through his hair, “it’s been demolished.”

“Oh.”

You understand immediately. It had been his and Dolores’ home base, enough of the internal structure left standing to provide them with shelter to sleep. It had been the closest thing he’d had to a home for him for forty years: the longest he’d ever lived anywhere.

“Wanna know something funny? They must be halfway through: the way they pulled it down, it looked exactly the same. The same parts were left standing.” a bitter smile pulled at one corner of his mouth, “the more things change, the more they stay the same.”

You know his mind now almost as intimately as your own: he’s not just talking about the way the two timelines rhyme.

“It’s been ten years since I had a freakout like that,” he says, resentfully. “I been to therapy every two weeks minimum , I take the damn pills religiously and still I lose my ever-loving shit over a building.”

You ease his hand out of the fist he’s screwed it into. You take a breath to respond to him but he plows over you.

“And I know what you’re going to say: the state I was in when we got together, it’s amazing that I haven’t had a major freakout for ten years. Maybe if I weren’t taking the pills, I’d be losing my mind every damn day, and I know therapy isn’t a cure-all, it just helps you work with what you got but…”

He pauses for a second, frustration on hold as his conscious mind catches up with what he’s said. Then he gives a rough laugh.

“And you’d be right,” he rolls to face you, smiling genuinely now.

“You said it all for me,” you shrug, smiling back at him.

The realization seems to have bolstered him:

“So, all in all, I give myself five stars for that panic attack. Threw it off like a champ.”

“You did,” you smile, leaning over and kissing his lips gently.

He’s always thought you have the sweetest lips. Maddening, in fact.

Even after all these years, the lines of your body are still the delight of his eye, particularly the ones that have developed since you’ve been with him. Everything you’d tell yourself is imperfection is, for him, just another object of devotion. After all, the stretch marks, wrinkles and reduced elasticity are all products of the fifteen years you’ve given to him: sixteen Christmases; fifteen fourth of Julys; fifteen whole trips around the sun that you chose to spend with him when you should have run a mile right at the start.

He wants to celebrate that, wants to love you physically and worship your body with his.

The kiss you give him is only just beyond a peck, but he leans into your perfect mouth and works his way between your lips. You pull away before he’s half done.

Honestly…it’s been a while. He’s kept his frustration quiet: work has been troubling you. It’s fine: it’s just a matter of feeling stressed on top of getting a little older. He knows it’s not because you love him any less…academically, at least. He can take care of himself ok and even if you never had sex ever again that’s perfectly fine: he’s in this for the long haul, no matter what.

He’d cope…he’d adapt. He’d find a way to not ogle you, mouth dry, every time you get undressed. He’d spent most of his life having, (with all respect to his first long-term partner), sub-optimal sex. Now he’s had fifteen years of amazing sex, it’s almost unbearable to imagine having to just ‘make do’ again. But he will if he needs to.

He hates feeling needy. It’s a form of vulnerability he’s not yet able to reconcile in himself. It doesn’t feel so long ago but he remembers how you used to look up at him with needy eyes… Maybe tonight can break the dry spell.

“Say…how about you and I…”

You look at him with amusement, “Really, Five?”

“Come on….” he adjusts his body so he’s leant against the headboard and you can see his hand skimming down his body towards his crotch, “you know you like the bike shorts.”

“You’re seriously going straight from a major panic attack to horny?”

In answer, ghosts his fingers over his package. The shorts certainly are tight… Were you in the mood, something about them would make you want to reach in there and root around to see what you can find. They cling attractively in all the right places, stopping an inch or so above the knee. As if his bulge wasn’t enough, the way they sculpt themselves around his muscled thighs and perfectly peachy ass is…noticeable, to say the least.

“I’m a little tired.” you say, not wanting to burst his bubble but hoping he’ll take the hint.

“I can be quick,” he says, trying to keep the slight plea out of his voice, “you could call me daddy again, if you want. Aoife hasn’t called me that in years now.”

“Nice try, Five,” you smirk, “maybe next time.”

“Oh, I’m not trying,” he says, rising to a kneel, turning and straddling your thighs, “I’m succeeding.”

He’s half-joking but nevertheless trying his luck, deliberately raising a rock-hard tent beneath his hand. Then, he rises on the bed into a high kneel.

Even in your totally unaroused state, the look he fixes you with almost makes you feel like a hooked fish being reeled in. He looms over you, head tilted and arrogant smirk firmly in place. He looks down his long nose as he paws at his boner, circling his hips. The shorts really are obscene. They would only have to be one iota tighter for them to cling to every single vein on his fit-to-burst shaft. As it stands, the lycra outlines the bell-shaped tip of his cock in minute anatomical detail.

It's a beguiling sight, but not beguiling enough.

“You’re still one hot grandpa but I’m sorry, I’m really not feeling it.”

He gives a small smile of acceptance and kisses your forehead before he swings his leg over and gets off you, heading for the ensuite bathroom.

“I’ll take care of myself,” he says as he peels off his cycling gear.. Then, in a final bid, he adds, “guess I’ll have to take a shower, lather up real good, lean up against the tiles and whack myself off with the suds…”

“Yeah, guess you will.” you say, picking up your reading glasses and the book off your nightstand.

Five stifles a sigh and enters the bathroom; boner leading the way like a perky seeing-eye-dog. As he shuts and locks the door behind him, he leans against it. It looks like it’s another night of jacking himself off into the shower tray. He tries not to feel hurt, tries to keep in mind all the reasonable thoughts from before. The humiliation of trying so hard only to be rejected? Rejected kindly, lovingly, but still rejected. He’s not going to degrade himself so far as to beg for sex. He’ll never be that pathetic.

Thank god for his left hand: it’s been there for him for nearly 80 years now and it’s always in the mood whenever he is.

The Trevor Dalton school covers PreK through to 12th grade. You’d initially felt conflicted about sending Aoife to private school but, for Five, only the best education money could buy would do for his daughter, regardless of your ‘commie bullshit’. You couldn’t help but agree emotionally; she deserved the best.

Overall, you’d been pleased with her progress: she had a firm group of friends and she enjoyed her extracurriculars- particularly band. Despite this, her math scores worried you both. Though Five had taken to tutoring her himself, she was showing little improvement in school. You’d both been pleased, therefore, to see how much time Aoife had spent holed up in her room studying for an upcoming math test.

Aoife certainly has been studying for her math test…just not in the way you and Five might think. She’s been practicing religiously every night before sleep. Every time, her temporal jumps are getting longer and without the need for all that stupid math. Last night, she managed to reverse an entire hour without even turning a hair. She can do it quickly too- she doesn’t have to force herself through the seconds like her dad seems to: she can just do it. He won’t know what’s hit him when she shows him what she knows.

Were she to sit down and analyze her feelings, she’d be unsure precisely why she wants this so much, whether she wants to make him proud or piss him off. Most of all, she wants to prove that she’s not a baby. All she can do is imagine the look in his eyes when she jumps through time with him along for the ride.

The math test will be her first time using her skills in the real world. She never blinked at school, (she’d learned early on that letting too many people in on the fact you have superpowers doesn’t end well) but jumping through time was different: when you went backwards, you’d erase anyone’s memory that you’d done anything unusual.

The test was in-class, and Aoife had taken care to discover the format before the big day. Mr Douglas would put the questions up on the board, the class would have thirty minutes to answer the questions and then, at the end, they would pass their answers to another student to mark and he would reveal the answers.

Sitting at her desk now, she’s full to bursting with nervous excitement. She can barely concentrate during the test, (not that she needs to), but she fills in stuff anyway. When Mr Douglas calls time and reveals the answers, she’s trembling so much that she’s surprised nobody’s noticed.

She passes her piece of paper to Izzie seated behind her and takes Jack’s from up ahead. Ignoring his paper, she grabs a fresh sheet of her own and begins to write down the right answers. This is what she’ll hand in…now she just has to make sure that this piece of paper is the one she passes to Izzie.

Holding her correct answers in one hand to exempt it from the reversal of time, she reaches easily into the abyss. It’s second nature now; couldn’t be any easier. It’s cool to watch. Alone in her bedroom, it was hard to see the effects; it's different in a crowded classroom. Jack’s pen reverses, going from right to left; eventually, he turns and takes his test back from her desk while Izzie hands Aoife’s over her shoulder. This, Aoife screws into a ball and drops into her backpack. The answers on the smartboard disappear as Mr Douglas moonwalks into his chair and the booger Kevin Simmons flicked across the room returns to his finger and he places it back up his nose.

Aoife lets go. Only somebody watching her closely would notice her jolt.

“And that’s time,” said Mr Douglas, “pass your test to the lady or gentlemen behind you. Ladies and Gentlemen at the back, bring your tests to the front of your row.”

Grinning all over her face, Aoife passes her new answers to Izzie.

Five spent most of the day with Luther who, for once in his life, has had a brain wave.

They’d been in Five’s bedroom, using the huge dry-erase and a plethora of colored post-its to plot out his idea: a non profit focused on helping male survivors of sexual violence.

Five helped mainly out of solitarily with Luther: arranging support groups and having to break the ice with the story of his own rape wasn’t exactly appealing, but Luther’s bright blue eyes were so alight at the the possible scope of the idea (that he dubbed ‘The Umbrella Foundation’), that Five was willing to put his misgivings aside for now. He'd suck it up if he had to.

When Aoife gets home from school she barrels into the room when he and Luther still stand, contemplating the timelines and tenuous organizational structure they’ve drafted.

After a quick hug for Luther, she passes Five her test and smiles coyly at him.

“What’s this?” he says, smiling back.

“Unfold it and see!”

He does so and his eyes light up, even as he affects to look casual. He stands with one hand in his pants pocket and his hips loose

“An A+? Jeez, where was this the other day? And not a single wrong answer?”

“You’re surprised, right?” she smiles up at him

“Surprised? Proud is what I am.”

He grins and pulls her into a full hug which she, for once, reciprocates.

“Ben fatto, tesoro. Hai lavorato sodo.”

“ Grazie papa.”

She has worked hard for this. Maybe he wouldn’t think of it that way, but she has.

“Well done sweetheart.” smiles Luther, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“You see what you can do when you set your mind to it?” says Five, kissing her forehead and holdung her at arm’s length, “How about I take you out this weekend? Maybe we take Izzie too? What do thirteen-year-old girls do these days? The...mall or whatever?”

Aoife snorts laughter at this, “yeah sure Dad, we’ll go to the mall.”

“Well I don’t know what you guys like to do. You’re the first teen girl I’ve spoken to for fifty-five years!”

Five’s never sure why, but he never feels as old around anyone as he does his daughter. Despite speaking seven languages, Teen Girl is one he can’t get his head around.

When Aoife bounds out of the room again, Luther turns to Five with a significant look on his face.

“She just runs into your bedroom...without knocking?”

Five knows exactly what he’s referring to.

“Yes,” he says, testily before looking sidelong at Luther and lowering his voice, “not exactly much for her to walk in on these days.”

Luther gives him a sympathetic look and turns back to the dry erase.

When you arrive home, long after Luther’s drifted downstairs, you’re instantly more skeptical than Five. To go from a D+ average to an A+ with no steps between? You smell bullshit. Perhaps it’s a fluke…but something about the way Aoife shows you the test sets off warning bells in your head. You don’t want to accuse her if this really is the product of hard work, but you’re worried you’ll have to. While she practices the drums after dinner and you sit with Five on the couch, already feeling guilty about raining on his parade.

“This math test…pretty surprising, right?”

From the tone of your voice, he immediately realizes your implication. Fifteen years of a relationship has given you so many little shorthands and layers of implication that would be lost on others. The line between his eyebrows deepens as he considers.

“You think she cheated?”

“I don’t know, but it seems a bit too good to be true. When her homework’s been so poor and she could barely do simple algebra last week?”

His lips pull inwards. He’s by nature a rather cynical man, tending to believe the worst in people until they prove him wrong, but he has a blind spot the size of Jupiter when it comes to his daughter.

“She knows how important it is that she learns. She wouldn’t mislead me.”

Really Five? You raise your eyebrows at him incredulously.

“She’s a teen. Pushing boundaries and lying to their parents is what they do.”

His scowl deepens, “I still don’t think she’d lie about this.”

You sigh.

“Well, I’m going to go talk to her. You’re telling me she didn’t seem weird to you? Like she’s got a huge secret?”

He nods slowly, considering.

“Do you remember when she was six and stockpiling candy under her bed? She was pulling the exact same face.”

Reluctantly, Five follows you as you knock at her bedroom door. It’s amazing she hears you over her drumming, but she does. When you both walk into the room together, she stiffens and puts down her drumsticks

“Hey honey,” you say, Five at your shoulder but skulking slightly behind, “we just wanted to have a talk.”

“What about?” she says, too quickly. She’s immediately on the defense and even Five notices.

“Well, we were just talking, and we’re concerned.” you cross to the bed and sit down on it, trying to appear less threatening. Five remains standing, hands (as ever) in his pockets and head tilted. You catch his eye and prompt him.

“Did you cheat on that test?”

Great job Five. Subtle as a flying brick.

Immediately she looks panicked.

“No!”

“Just tell us the truth and we won’t be mad," you say, trying to keep your voice calm.

“I said I didn’t!” she snaps, firing up immediately.

You move to placate her: it suddenly strikes you how unjust this would be if she actually did earn her score.

“I know you’ve been studying this week and if you’ve got this score because you’ve worked your butt off then we couldn’t be more proud of you, it’s just…my Mom senses are tingling. I know when you’re hiding something.”

“I’m not!”

“Okay,” says Five, stepping forward and grabbing a notebook and pen from within his jacket pocket. He scribbles rapidly and then slaps both down on her dressing table.

“How about you prove it? Expand this.”

He looks more pissed than she’s ever seen him directed at her. Feeling a mixture of shame, anger and injustice Aoife stands and approaches looking down at the scrawled problem:

5(12c + 7) - (1 - 55c)

There it is. The familiar panic that sets in when she encounters numbers in almost any context. She picks up the pen. She knows where to start but when she tries to perform the expansion, it’s like her brain crashes. She tries to concentrate and can’t…especially with both of them staring down at her.

“That’s way too hard!” she whines, “I can’t do that one. The test was easier. You just make them way too complex because your brain is all weird about math.”

“Oh, well that's interesting.” Five’s voice is dangerous- almost a whisper. “Now I know you’re bullshitting me. Wanna take a quick guess how?”

She doesn’t answer, even when he jerks his head towards her.

“No answer, eh?” he turns from her to you, “Do you want to know how I know she’s bullshitting us, Mom?”

You frown in slight disapproval of this theater, but it’s about time Five stepped up to be the bad guy so you keep your mouth shut. He turns back to Aoife, teeth slightly bared,

“That was a question ON the test, genius.”

Her face heats up and eyes prickle. Five just gives a disdainful scoff, shakes his head and looks away from her.

“Tell us the truth, Aoife,” you say, sternly, trying to keep your own temper under control, “you cheated, didn’t you?”

She turns to you and stamps her foot in a way you haven’t seen since she was six, “Just shut up Mom!”

As Five gives a sharp reprimand for her speaking to you that way, you speak over him,

“First you cheat and then you keep denying it? You’re still lying. I’m so disappointed that you’d be this dishonest.You’ve not just cheated us, you’ve cheated your classmates and you’ve cheated yourself too!”

Suddenly, Five turns back to her, shoulders rolled and hunched in the awful posture he adopts when stressed or angry.

“You know, I couldn’t give a rat's ass that you cheated. I’m just still trying to get my head around the fact you lied to me about this !” he begins to pace distractedly, “you know how important it is that you UNDERSTAND basic mathematical principles. It’s a matter of life and death! ”

You turn to Five, angry with him now.

“So you don’t care that she lied at school, only to you?”

Five tosses his head and returns his gaze to his daughter standing between the pair of you. Hormonal rage courses through her. Right now, she’s as erratic as Five ever was in his prime.

“I don’t even need math to be able to use my powers! It’s not my fault your head’s so far up your own ass that you can’t jump a few minutes without filling a whole wall with equations!”

“Aoife!” you rebuke, shocked by this attitude towards her father, but she ignores you.

“I did cheat, okay? And you wanna know how I did it? I just wound back time-”

Five blinks at her, dumbstruck. He looks as if he’s been clubbed over the head.

“-and you know what, Dad? I’m still here. I didn’t end up years in the future and get stuck there like a dumbass! ”

You spring up from the bed, grab her shoulders and turn her to face you. Her eyes are wild with anger, face red and teeth bared even more than Five’s had been only a minute or so before.

“How can you speak to your Dad like that? How dare you? After-”

But the rage that’s been building in her bubbles over. All she wants is for you both to get out of her room. You think just because you’re her parents that you know better? You don’t: you especially don’t get it. Always so far up your own ass, judging her for every time she falls under your ridiculously high moral standards. Nothing short of sainthood is good enough for you.

She can feel full-body tingles growing as anger descends over her. It makes her grab your forearms. If she’d been less angry, she might have noticed the crackle of electricity or the feeling of polarity accessed in her mind…the feeling of the last jigsaw piece slipping into place…

“JUST GET AWAY FROM ME, MOM!”

…but the whole puzzle explodes as she pushes you abruptly. She only means to shove you in the direction of the door, but the portal that erupts swallows you whole, collapsing in on itself before you can even stumble.

Tag list: (please comment to be added or removed.) @dilfjohhny , @sunsunhe, @w4stedtr4sh, @nevbrooke-555, @theredvelvetbitch, @td-miley01, @five-hxrgreeves, @rorygi1more, @jamiebower88

On to Chapter 3 >> Masterpost

Alternatively, join me on A03. Here is a link to the whole series

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ashprompts · 10 months

Text

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃 (𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐔𝐒) — 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

a collection of sentence starters from the album by boygenius, "the record." feel free to alter pronouns/text as you see fit

"give me everything you've got, i'll take what i can get."

"i want to hear your story and be a part of it."

"who would i be without you?"

"speak to me until your history's no mystery to me."

"talk to me until the words run dry."

"i'll give everything i've got, please take what i can give."

"i want you to hear my story."

"it's a bad idea and i'm all about it."

"when you wake up, i'll be gone again."

"in another life we were arsonists."

"mama told me that it don't run on wishes, but that i should have fun."

"so many hills to die on."

"run out of gas, out of time, out of money."

"you're doing what you can, just making it run."

"take a break, make your escape."

"can you give me twenty dollars?"

"i know you have twenty dollars."

"she's asleep in the back seat looking peaceful enough to me."

"we're coming back from where no one lives."

"[name], i'm sorry."

"i just make it up as i go along."

"i can feel myself becoming someone only you could want."

"now i'm wide awake, spiraling."

"i'll get a real job, you'll go back to school."

"we can burn out in the freezing cold."

"you know how i get when i'm wrong."

"i can feel myself becoming somebody that i'm not."

"i'm 27 and i don't know who i am."

"you can't help but become the sun."

"when you don't know who you are, you fuck around and find out."

"it feels good to be known so well."

"i can't hide from you like i hide from myself."

"you already hurt my feelings in the way only you could."

"i remember who i am when i'm with you."

"your love is tough." / "your love is tried and true blue."

"you've never done me wrong, except for that one time."

"it doesn't matter anymore."

"who won the fight?"

"i don't know, we're not keeping score."

"i'm trying to be cool about it."

"wishing you were kind enough to be cruel about it."

"telling myself i can always do without it, knowing that it probably isn't true."

"it's impossible to pass your tests."

"i'm trying to forget about it."

"kindly get out of my head about it."

"once i took your medication to know what it's like." / "and now i have to act like i can't read your mind."

"i ask you how you're doing and i let you lie."

"we don't have to talk about it."

"i'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning."

"it's nice to see how good you're doing."

"we know it isn't true."

"it would only take the energy to fix it."

"i don't know why i am the way i am."

"not strong enough to be your man."

"i can't stop staring at the ceiling fan."

"spinning out about things that haven't happened."

"do you see us getting scraped up off the pavement?"

"i lied, i am just lowering your expectations."

"half a mind that keeps the other second guessing."

"always an angel, never a god."

"i think i've been having revelations."

"skip the exit to our old street and go home."

"go home alone."

"you live up in my head."

"i've been making music since you told me to do it."

"i just wanna know who broke your nose."

"figure out where they live, so i can kick their teeth in."

"if this isn't love then what the fuck is it?"

"i guess just let me pretend."

"i don't wanna die. that's a lie, but i'm afraid to get sick."

"if you're not enough, then i give up."

"i used to think if i'd just close my eyes, i will disappear."

"if you love me, you will listen to this song."

"i could tell that you were serious."

"it gave us more time to embarrass ourselves."

"i might like you less now that you know me so well."

"there's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."

"i am not an old man having an existential crisis."

"i never thought you'd happen to me."

"will you be a satanist with me?"

"mortgage off your soul to buy your dream vacation home in florida."

"tryin' to score some off-brand ecstasy."

"will you be an anarchist with me?"

"sleep in cars and kill the bourgeoisie."

"at least until you find out what a fake i am."

"spray paint my initials on an atm."

"i burn my cash and smash my old tv."

"will you be a nihilist with me?"

"if nothing matters, man, that's a relief."

"if nothing can be known, then stupidity is holy."

"if the void becomes a bore, we'll treat ourselves to some self-belief."

"oh, you know what i should do?"

"it's so hard to come back."

"you could absolutely break my heart."

"that's how i know that we're in love."

"i don't need the symbol of a scar."

"isn't it enough that we stripped down to our skin?"

"i feel crazy in ways i never say."

"will you still love me if it turns out i'm insane?"

"i know what you'll say, but it helps to hear you say it anyway."

"damn, that makes me sad." / "it doesn't have to be like that."

"if you rewrite your life, may i still play a part?"

"i can't imagine you without the same smile in your eyes."

"there is something about you that i will always recognize."

"if you don't remember, i will try to remind you."

"i will go on and on until it all comes back."

"i'm out of my depth at a public beach."

"i never listened, i had to see it for myself."

"making peace with my inevitable death."

"i guess i did alright, considering." / "tried to be a halfway decent friend."

"an honest fool with more bad habits than you can count."

"was anyone ever so young?"

"breaking curfew with illegal fireworks."

"unpacking god in the suburbs."

"you don't have to make it bad just cause you know how."

"writing the words to the worst love song you've ever heard."

"an incantation like an anti-curse."

"i think that you're special." / "you told me once that i'm selfish."

"you said my music is mellow, maybe i'm just exhausted."

"you think you're a good person because you won't punch me."

"i love you. i don't know why, i just do."

"you're not special, you're evil."

"you don't get to tell me to calm down."

"you made me feel like an equal, but i'm better than you and you should know that by now."

"it looked like it hurt and i wasn't sorry."

"i should have left you right there."

"you don't know me."

"i wanna be happy."

"i'm ready to walk into my room without looking for you."

"i'll go up to the top of our building."

"i can't feel it yet, but i am waiting."

#ask meme #sentence starters #rp sentence starters #rp meme #rp memes #sentence prompts #rp prompts #boygenius #the record #boygenius rp meme #boygenius prompts #inbox meme #inbox prompts #roleplay memes #me vs the sudden urge to finally actually make a meme on here i GUESS

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mlove44lh · 1 year

Text

For a lifetime part I - En/USA Version

part II here

warnings: +18. Childhood friends to lovers, angst, smut, fluff, original character.

Words: 9.033

Summary: Lewis and Angie met in their childhood and after a short time they were already inseparable, the relationship escalated and soon they became more than friends. But life happened to both and they ended up following different paths. Nine years later they meet again. Is all that love really gone?

Notes: English is not my first language. I did my best with the translation, but I know there are going to be many mistakes in the writing.

I decided to translate this fanfiction because I'm completely in love with these two, and I want this story to reach more people. Comments are always welcome. Hope you like it.

Some events are out of chronological order.

June 2002

-Mom, please, I can study at home. I promise to do better on the next tests. -I try one last time to convince her that I do not need this class. But I realize it will be in vain as I look at his usual impassive frown.

-No. None of that, I promised your father that you would take at least one class, and he paid a lot of money for that. Don't belittle your father like that, Angie. -My mom looked straight ahead cautiously on the road, even when there weren't any cars but her old Bentley. I still looked at her with the slightest bit of hope.

-Please, he'll never know I didn't come.

She looked at me in disbelief.

-No, but I'll know. Now come on, I don't have all day, I'm already late.

-All this because of a C. -I said to myself as I finally got out of the car.

-You can complain to your father tonight if you want, but I did my part. -I watched as she accelerated and left the parking lot, I thought about leaving, going to the park that I saw from the passenger seat a few blocks away, and spending the next three and a half hours doing nothing, but I was already there, and the heat was almost unbearable, so I decided to go inside and watch the review lesson I don't need.

Barely 30 minutes had passed and I couldn't take it anymore, I took minimal notes and tirelessly looked at the clock in search of redemption. I was looking outside the building when I heard the door being open.

-I'm so sorry teacher, I lost the track of time, I was racing and when I saw it, it was already two o'clock, please forgive me. -The boy was out of breath, putting words on top of words and begging for the teacher's forgiveness, it was almost impossible not to find the situation funny. The teacher in turn didn't give a damn, asked the boy to calm down, and invited him to sit down and pay attention in class.

The boy came towards me and for a moment I thought he was going to talk to me, but he just waved and sat down on the bench next to me, which was the only empty one in the room. The rest of the class passed in absolute silence, except for the teacher's voice and the sound of birds outside. From time to time I felt the boy restless, writing down unneeded things and trying to look at my notes. His nervousness started to make me nervous too.

-For the love of God, calm down. After class, I can help you with your notes, but please be quiet. You're making me nervous.

The boy smiled shyly at me, I could see the small gap between his front teeth and I thought it was adorable, he seemed like a nice person.

The class ended and as promised, I explained the content he had missed and helped him with his notes.

-You don't seem to have any difficulty with this topic. -He said as he finished writing. There was no one else in the room, the class had already ended at least 15 minutes ago. I know my mom is waiting for me in the parking lot but I don't mind keeping her waiting while I talk to him.

-I don't. My father is very strict with my education. I got a C in literature and he decided I needed tutoring.

-Oh, I see. Not a good way to spend a Saturday afternoon, but at least you're smart.

-Are you kidding? I love this place. I begged him to put me in this class, I couldn't think of a better way to spend my Saturday. - I say jokingly. Our laughter echoed through the room. -And you? Do you also like to spend your Saturdays in a tutoring class?

-Nah. I came because I had to, I'm not showing up to classes as I should, so they made me come. But I won't need that. -He gestures to his notebook. -My father and I are working hard for me to be a formula 1 driver someday.

-And how is this going? -There was no superiority in his speech, only hope and excitement.

-Very good. -His smile was gigantic. -Very well indeed. I can't wait to finish high school and race all over the world.

-Great. hope everything works out for you...-I gestured for him to tell me his name, which only then I realized I still didn't know.

-Lewis Hamilton.

-Lewis Hamilton. - I repeated to myself. -Nice to meet you. I'm Angie Woods.

November 2002

I could barely keep still, I was so excited, finally, I would see him racing in person.

I was in front of my house, waiting for the car that would come to pick me up. Lewis told me that his father would come by at 10 am to pick me up from home and then we would drive to the circuit where the last race of the karting season was taking place, where Lewis was doing exceptionally well.

Since we met months ago, we haven't let go of each other, Lewis ended up becoming a great friend to me, we see each other almost every day and he had already promised me that he would take me to a race a long time ago.

During these months of friendship, Lewis teaches me everything about Formula 1 and motorsport. I fell in love with the sport, we haven't lost a race since.

It didn't take me long to see the car coming to the entrance of my house, I ran inside and hoped my parents didn't see it, they had already made their displeasure with my new friendship clear. So I decided not to tell where I was going that morning.

I met his father, his stepmother, and his brother, Nicholas. Everyone welcomed me more than well, and in a short time I already felt almost like part of their family.

❀

I was almost voiceless from cheering for Lewis. His family and I were in the front row of the audience watching Lewis' every move. He was exceptional as a driver, even with older drivers on the grid and with a not-so-good car, he stood out a lot. I could then understand that there was no understatement in his father's speech when he said that Lewis would become a great Formula 1 champion. It was just a matter of time.

I was behind his family when he got out of the car, Lewis ran to his father and stepmother and hugged them, he had won another race, consequently becoming the best driver in his category, and the youngest to achieve this accomplishment. After hugging his family, Lewis jogged to me, I was close to being emotional, I was so happy for him. I hugged him back and we stayed like that for a good few seconds, his arms made me feel like I'd never felt in my life.

After the race we went to his house, it was getting dark but none of us wanted the day to be over. Lewis's father ordered pizza and we all ate together. Anthony, his father, told me all about Lewis's passion for motorsport and all the difficulties they had faced so far. I paid attention to every word and could only imagine the difficulties they had.

Anthony insisted on dropping me off at my place, it was already dark and the night was much colder than usual, so I made no objections, thanked him for the day, and said goodbye to his family.

Before leaving, Lewis ran down the stairs to me, I was ready to go meet his father, who was already waiting for me outside the house.

-Wait a second. I bought you something.

Lewis handed me a box, I opened it and found a delicate golden necklace, it had a pendant of a small "A". It was beautiful, I almost didn't react because I didn't expect such a gesture from him.

-I saw it in a store and I couldn't leave without buying it for you. There was silver too but I like your skin better with gold.

Lewis looked at me shyly, just like he looked at me in the first conversation we had months ago.

-It's beautiful, Lew. Thank you so much, I loved it. -I took the necklace out of the box and give it to him to put on me.

I pulled my hair up and waited for him to put the necklace on me, his hand passing lightly over my neck managed to make my skin shiver, I hoped that it had gone unnoticed by him. As soon as he closed the necklace I turned forward and hugged him.

-I'll never take it off. -I said low, in the middle of the hug, just for him to hear, as if we weren't alone in the room.

-I'm glad you liked it.

I pulled away from the hug and kissed his cheek, close enough to his mouth to make me blush with embarrassment, I said goodbye with a low "see you later" and left the house, going to meet his father, who was already waiting for me inside the car.

I walked away from his house seeing Lewis at the door watching as the car pulled away.

February 2003

-Lewis, this is not going to work. I better give up. Anyway, you can be my personal driver. -I said pulling the handbrake and turning off the car.

-None of that, come on, I said I was going to teach you how to drive and that's what we're going to do today.

-I changed my mind, I'm going to cancel the test. Look, I'm shaking and I haven't even walked 20 meters. -I was actually shaking, seeing people driving makes it look easy but in reality, it is far from it.

-Angie. -Lewis took his hand from his lap and placed it on top of mine, which was resting on the gearshift of his dad's Chevrolet. Physical contact with us is nothing new, and I can no longer imagine my life without his friendship. -Calm down, you'll make it, I'll teach you how to drive and you'll pass this test.

I sighed in defeat, I want that so much, and I have to take advantage of Lewis' free time and his kindness to teach me.

I started the car and released the handbrake.

-You know what to do. Step on the clutch and engage first gear. -I thanked the universe for Lewis being the calmest person I know, if it was any of my parents here I would already be crying. I did as he said. -Now release the clutch and accelerate slowly.

-That's the problem, Lew.

-Come on, after a while, this will be automatic for you.

I started to drive the car and this time it was better than the last, little by little I gained confidence and saw that it wasn't such a big deal. By the end of the day, I was able to stay calm and drive a few miles without freaking out.

❀

I thanked her for the ride and jumped out of my mother's car, barely able to contain my smile. I run to the front door of the house that became my second home, rang the bell, and waited patiently until the door opened. Luckily it was Lewis on the other side of the door.

-So? How it was? Did you pass? - His eyes were bigger than usual and he looked at me with a lot of curiosity.

I tried to keep my face serious for some suspense but I couldn't hold it for a second.

-Yes! Officially qualified. -I showed him my newest driver's license. Lewis pulled me into a long hug. -Thanks Lew, I couldn't have done it without you.

-Yes, you would. I knew you would do fine. -He pulled away from the hug and looked at me with affection. -Now I have someone to take me to the next race.

October 2003

-Are you sure I can go to this party?

Our hands were intertwined, which is new, but I have nothing to complain about it.

-Of course Ang, it's a party of a friend from school but it's not exclusive to those who study there, relax.

I could already hear the loud music coming from the house at the end of the street, I didn't know if I was shivering from the cold or anxiety. Maybe I shouldn't have chosen such a short dress for an evening party. It's my first time at a party this big, and Lewis looks as relaxed as ever.

-Angie, I can hear your thoughts from here. -Lewis chuckled and squeezed his hand in mine. -It's just a party, and if you don't like it, we can leave whenever you want, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. And I will always be around.

-Okay then. -Lewis is the only person who can calm me down with so little.

We entered the house, which was already full, and Lewis soon found his friends from school. He introduced me to everyone and I didn't take long to make friends, which was good, I didn't wanna hang around Lewis all night without letting him have fun with his friends. There was a lot of booze and I had one or two, I've been drinking alcohol for a while now, so I wasn't even close to drunk. Lewis came to check on me from time to time.

After some time talking and drinking I went up to the second floor to use the bathroom. The floor was empty, with all the doors closed except for one at the end of the hall. I thought I heard Lewis's voice coming from there so I went to the door and opened it all the way to enter. He was there, it was a room without any furniture, Lewis was leaning against the balcony, with his phone on his ear.

-Okay. Don't worry, I'll take care of everything at home. Alright, see you Sunday then dad. Bye.

Lewis hung up the phone and turned into the room, he didn't look surprised to see me standing by the door.

-Is everything okay?

I asked as I entered the room for good, I pushed the door but it didn't close completely. Lewis called me over and I went to him. He wrapped an arm around my neck and pulled me closer.

-Yes. My dad, Linda, and Nicholas are going to Linda's parent's house for the weekend so I have the whole house to myself now.

-That’s good. -My head was leaning on his chest and I had my eyes closed. Lewis's hand came to my chin and lifted my face, placing it just inches from his. Lewis sealed our lips calmly, and it didn't take long to deepen the kiss. It's not the first time that this happened, we've kissed before, but never like this. This time it's like there's something behind it like it's for real this time. And it's really, really good.

Soon I wrapped my arms around his neck and Lewis placed his hands on my waist, giving the area a light squeeze.

We kissed for a long time, and when I opened my eyes, I had to get used to the clarity coming from the street again.

Lewis hugged me and I felt like I could stay there forever.

-Are you going to crash at my place today?

I froze in his arms and hoped he hadn't noticed. I've slept over at Lewis's several times before, but I know what this question means right now. I know that Lewis has had some experience before, and I also know that I want to have my first time with him. But even though, it's impossible not to feel nervous.

-You know that nothing will happen if you are not 100% prepared for it, Angie.

-I know.

-And we don't even need to do anything, I just think you should sleep there because you told your parents you'd sleep at Annie's today and if you get home at one in the morning they won't like it one bit.

I smiled at his concern and nodded, still hugging him.

-It’s okay. I do want to sleep there anyway.

After that conversation we were absorbed in something else, so we didn't take much longer to leave the party.

Lewis' house was just a few blocks away, so we walked back together. We exchanged a few words now and then but I was too anxious to have any type of conversation.

❀

Lewis is lying next to me. I am nervous. I'm not naive, I know what's about to happen, we've talked about it before and I feel ready. But as much as I'm nervous I'm also very sure about it. I feel safe and desired by his side. I feel that now is the time and I don't want to wait for another second. But even though, I think fear is normal.

-Are you okay? -Lewis was leaning on his arm, facing me.

I was laying down, looking up. I nodded and moved my head to see him, he was very close to me. The room was dark but the moonlight outside was more than enough for me to see it perfectly. He looked beautiful, traces of the agitated evening at the party were on his skin that glowed even in the slightest light, he looked happy, he didn't seem to want to be anywhere else.

Lewis approached and sealed our lips very calmly. It didn't take long for me to try to deepen the kiss, which was immediately consented with a small laugh from him. Kissing has become my favorite thing to do with him, not that I have a lot of experience but his kiss is amazing.

The kiss was getting deeper and deeper, I was restless, searching for more, Lewis on the other hand was completely calm, and in no hurry at all. Eventually and finally his hand that wasn't supporting his head left his lap and found my waist, squeezing the place and bringing me closer to him, then moving down and going to my ass, where he stayed for a few moments.

I was hot, and I could feel my heart beating in my throat, I was nervous but more than right about my decision. I felt my intimacy hot and wet, I wanted him to touch me but I didn't know how I could ask for that. He was kissing me like never before, there was something else there that had never been explored inside of me.

-Angie. -Lewis cut the kiss and left his lips millimeters from mine, he was a little breathless and I think as nervous as I was. I looked at him and waited for the continuation, I wanted him to speak soon because I wanted to go back to kiss him. -Can I touch you?

My heart jumped, what I wanted was finally going to happen, and with the right person, the person who showed me what love is when I didn't even know it was possible to feel that kind of thing. I nodded at him.

- Honey, I need to hear you say.

-Yes Lewis. Please touch me

He didn't take long to put his hands between my legs, always very calmly and carefully. My dress was short so it had already gone up and the fabric rested on my belly. Lewis put my panties aside and I was exposed to him.

-Let me know if you want me to stop, okay?

-Okay.

Lewis touched me, it was like an electric current went through my whole body, I didn't know I wanted that contact so much until I had it. Both I and Lewis sighed. I leaned in and brought our lips together again. Now the kiss was awkward and almost disjointed, as our attentions were somewhere else. I wanted to be able to touch him too, but I could barely think about how I would do it. I had to keep myself from moaning and begging him to go faster. Lewis fingered my clit patiently, even with me rubbing in his hand he kept the same rhythm. I could feel him smiling during the kiss.

Lewis trailed his kisses to my neck, then to my collarbone, his hand still on me.

-I want to see all of you. -He said very close to my ear, which caused me more shivers than I thought it was possible.

-Please do. -I wanted to give him what he wanted, I wanted him to see me, kiss me, and tell me how beautiful I look to him.

Lewis then took his hand away from me, I moaned complaining and he laughed.

-Calm down darling. I'll be back to give you what you want.

Lewis pulled my dress up and I helped him to take it off, he watched me for a few seconds, I wasn't wearing a bra so I ended up totally exposed to his gaze. I didn't feel ashamed, I wanted him to look at me, so I just lay back down while looking at him.

Lewis, in turn, returned to kiss my collarbone, moving towards my breasts, where he stayed for a while.

-You are perfect. -His lips went down to my belly, and soon Lewis was already positioned between my legs. He pulled my panties off and got rid of them, throwing them somewhere in the room. He lay down between me and looked at me, waiting for another consent. I looked at him and nodded as if to tell him to go ahead and do it.

And he did it.

Oh yes he did it.

The moan I was trying to keep was released as soon as I felt his tongue touching me. It was the best sensation in the world, Lewis started slow but soon intensified, I moved under him trying to make the most of what he has given to me. One of his hands went from holding my waist to between my legs, where he slowly placed a finger inside me. That didn't hurt, it was the opposite, I almost screamed with pleasure. I was grateful that we were alone, I don't know if I could hold back my sound.

With one finger inside me, Lewis started to make a move and that sent me over the edge, my legs start shaking and I couldn't think straight, I just wanted him with me. He climbed up to me and kissed me with hunger, there was strength and it was almost instinctual. I took my hand to his shirt and helped him take it off. Soon after I took my hand and touched him over his pants, I could feel the exaggerated bulge, I had no idea how to do that but I wanted to be able to touch him.

Lewis got rid of his pants and underwear and positioned himself on top of me. I saw his size and for the first time that night, I felt a certain apprehension. What he seemed to realize.

-I'll go slowly, you tell me if you want me to take it off. But it will probably hurt a little in the begging. But I promise you I'll be careful.

-Okay.

Lewis kissed me before putting himself between my legs and slowly penetrating me. I pulled his face down to my neck, not wanting him to see the discomfort on my face. At first, it did hurt, but I knew it would be like this, and I didn't wanted to stop, I wanted him inside me. I mentally thanked the universe when I realized he was already all in, Lewis stayed there for a minute until I got used to his size. Gradually he began to move, which started very slowly and then gained more speed. The pain that was almost unbearable at first gave way to immense pleasure.

-You good? - He looked at me again. I nodded and pressed our lips together tightly. In a short time, we were already in a rhythm that was good for both of us, I moaned low in his ear and I could feel his breath on mine, it was much better than I imagined it would be. At one point Lewis accelerated and started moaning, I knew he was almost there. Only then did I realize that we did everything without any protection.

-Lew, take it off, we're not wearing a condom.

He didn't seem to hear it at first but ended up granting my request and came out of me, in my abdomen.

Lewis kissed me and stayed between my legs for a while. Then he got up and pulled me with him into the bathroom, we cleaned up and went back to bed. I pulled the blanket over us and snuggled into his lap, our clothes lying on the floor of his room with no intention of being picked.

-How do you feel? -He asked after a few minutes that we were lying down.

-Impure. - I felt Lewis laughing below me and I laughed with him. It wasn't true, I felt good, happy to have done this with the boy that I love. -I'm kidding. I feel great, it was much better than I imagined it would be. And I'm glad it was with you.

I lifted my head from his chest and looked at him, Lewis was beautiful in that light, I joined our lips again in a quick kiss and went back to lay on his chest, as much as I wanted to extend that night, the tiredness was already consuming me and I couldn't stand much more awake.

-I love you. -It was the last thing I heard that night before falling asleep.

December 2005

-You look beautiful in your graduation gown and cape.

We were sitting on the living room floor of my house, surrounded by pizza and beers. We came here after my graduation ceremony, where we knew we'd be alone since my parents went traveling. I used the money they left as an apology for not attending my graduation to buy us pizza and drinks.

-I don't ever want to take it off. I feel good in this. I feel important.

Lewis smiled and pulled me closer to him.

-Do you know what you're going to do now? -I relax in his lap and it took me a few seconds to answer him.

-I know what I want to do. I'm going to try to get into that college I told you about, I will apply for it next year. I love fashion design, and I want to do it in the city of my dreams, it would be perfect if I was accepted. But don't worry, until then I'll still live by your side.

Lewis remains in silence for a long time before answering me.

-This is in France, isn't it?

-Yes. In Paris. At least I took my French lessons seriously. -I chuckled and lifted my face to look at him. But Lewis wasn't smiling, on the opposite, his face was frowning.

-Is there a problem?

-There are great fashion colleges in London, where you would be closer. -Lewis took his hand from my waist, where it had been resting for some time. I pulled away from him, sitting down in front of him.

-I know. But Paris has always been a dream, you know that. And knowing that it's possible just made me even more excited.

Lewis didn't look happy at all, and that pissed me off.

-I don't think it's a good idea. Going to the other side of the continent alone and venturing out like that doesn't sound right.

-You're talking like my father. - I held myself back from rolling my eyes at that conversation.

-Maybe your father is right, Angie. Have you ever thought about it?

-No Lewis. He's not, he's never been right about anything.

I got up and went to the kitchen, I wanted to escape that conversation, I never thought that Lewis would react like that, I never thought that he would be upset that I wanted to follow my dream. I took off my cap and poured myself a glass of water, my mouth was dry.

-Angie, please. I'm just saying that things are more complicated than they appear. The world is not the way you think it is.

-And why don't you let me figure this out on my own?

He was standing in the kitchen doorway while I was leaning against the sink, facing him.

-Cause I care about you. I don't want you to regret doing something crazy like that.

I Laugh without humor.

-Look at you. You're running for formula 3. How many times have you been told it's crazy and you should give up? Now you come and tell me that?! Are you kidding me?!

-Angie listen...

-No Lewis! You listen. What you want is for me to be here waiting for you while you travel the world with your perfect driver's life.

I realized that my tone was higher than usual so I tried to calm down.

-There's nothing in this world I want more than that, Lew.

-Not even me?

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I looked at him in disbelief.

-You will not do this to me, Lewis. -I felt my eyes burning. -You would never stop running for me, don't make me abandon my dream to live yours.

Lewis fell silent, his frustrated expression replaced by a thoughtful one. He didn't look at me, I don't think he even paid attention to the environment.

-You're right. I can't create expectations about you waiting for me here. You have all the right to live your life and go after your dreams. -Lewis looked at me but he didn't even take a step toward me, he was nervous and I could deduce that just by looking at him. There's nothing worse for me than fighting with Lewis. -But do you think it will work? The two of us, when we leave here?

-I don't know.

February 2006

-I still can't believe it. - I couldn't get the smile off my face.

-Well, believe me, this is going to become routine now that you graduated and I have you free for me for a while.

We were walking through Monza airport, we came for the first stage of the formula 3 championship. The race will only be in 5 days, but Lewis managed to convince everyone that he needed to come earlier to "prepare", even if that preparation means eating a lot and drinking wine every night on his staff bill.

I couldn't help but snap pictures from the moment we walked out of the airport to our hotel check-in, where we were both trying not to look shocked by the size of it all.

-No fucking way! -I was discredited in that place. And Lewis didn't look any different. The hotel room was more like an apartment than a bedroom. -Lewis, there's a living room inside our hotel room.

At this point, I had already explored every corner of the place.

-I'll never get used to this. -Lewis was smiling from ear to ear.

It was at that moment that I stopped paying attention to the immensity of that room and looked at him. His smile managed to move me, the way Lewis was sincerely happy with how his life was unfolding made me more than proud to have seen it all happen up close. As much as he still has a lot of things to conquer, all of this already seems huge close to where he started. The realization of my privilege to be by his side at a time like this hit me and I couldn't help the emotion in my eyes, which he soon noticed.

-Honey, are you okay? -His smile faded a little at his concern.

-Yes, everything is perfect. -I walked over to him and snuggled into his arms. -I'm just happy. -I didn't tell him but part of the reason for the tears in my eyes was fear, fear of separating, fear of him forgetting me if I go to college, and fear of leaving him and then regretting it. My anxieties related to our future have been keeping me awake for a long time, and as much as I don't talk about it with him, I know he's not much different from me.

-I have an idea. -Lewis said after a few minutes that we were hugging in the middle of that giant room. He broke our embrace and went to the phone.

-What are you going to d...

-Hi, my wife and I wanted to order room service. Right. Can you bring a bottle of champagne? Yeah, anyone is fine. Actually, the best bottle you have. Yes. And we also want a portion of fries. That's all. this is charged to whoever booked the room right? Ah yes, so it will be two bottles then. Right, thanks.

When Lewis put the phone back down I was laughing so hard I could barely stand. He got up and walked over to me, giving me his hand.

-So I'm your wife? -I said with a smile on my lips.

-One day. And it's going to be huge the way you deserve it. But meanwhile, we pretend for a week that we're married and spending a few days in Italy, as usual. - I sealed our lips with a smile on my face and a lump in my throat.

October 2006

We looked at the telephone with a high expectation that it would ring at any second with the news we had been waiting for some time. The anxiety was so big that we couldn't even talk for more than a few minutes without stopping to pay attention to the yellow telephone in his house. Me, Linda, and Nicholas were in the living room waiting for Lewis and Anthony, who were in a meeting with McLaren, a meeting that would determine if the place as second driver in the team was going to be his for the next year.

From Stevenage to Woking it was just an hour trip, but I made lewis promise me that he would call with the answer of the team before he get home, whether it was good or bad news.

As much as we'd been waiting, when the phone finally rang, we jumped in alarmed. Linda didn't take a second to answer. I saw her face go from fear to pure happiness, and then we exploded in joy. Of course he made it. We started celebrating even before they got home. We spent hours celebrating, and for the first time I saw Lewis and Anthony really moved, I wanted to cry with them. After all the sacrifice he finally got the result he deserved.

Lewis would be a formula 1 driver. the best driver ever.

December 2006

I've already lost the track of time. We've been in this room for hours. I've watched night turn into day and still I refuse to fall asleep and stop noticing his presence and our contact. I've counted his heartbeats and his light breathing for what seemed like hours. We don't have anything to talk about it anymore. We ignore his father calling us to dinner because the feeling is that if someone moves, everything will be over faster. I don't want to leave, but I have to. And so does he.

The last few months were more than perfect, being by his side and accompanying him in his races was better than I imagined it would be, I got to know several countries and saw Lewis conquering and standing out more and more in his sport and that couldn't have made me more proud and happy for my love. But it came to an end as we knew it would one day. Since the fight, we haven't talked about our relationship and our future, we decided to talk about it later, but that “later” never came.

The letter from the college was there the day I returned from a trip with him and we opened it together. Lewis was happy for me, or at least he tried to be, but that hug felt more like an embrace of losst than one of pride and happiness.

So I left my bags packed, waiting for me at home, while I ran the blocks to his house at the end of the street and asked for a few minutes with him since I had to go back home soon because of my flight the next morning. But the minutes turned into hours, hours of talking but not about our future, hours of lovemaking, and now hours of absolute silence as we lay together.

-I have to go. -I didn't feel the words coming out of my mouth, it was like someone else was speaking for me. How dare you open your mouth and disturb a moment like this?!

-I know. -Lewis didn't move, his arms were still around my body.

-Lew...

Lewis finally let go of me, now he was looking at me, we were still lying down, so close together that we seemed to be one single being. I could see the shine in his eyes through the tears that threatened to fall, I opened my mouth to tell him that everything was going to be okay, but I knew that was a lie. Lewis sealed our lips painfully, our kiss soon deepened and there was a moment when I didn't know if the tears I felt on my face were mine or his.

We already were without any clothes from all the lovemaking moments before, but it didn't feel like enough, it would never feel like enough as we had our minds on what was going to come next. Lewis put himself inside me and we didn't break our kiss even for a second, few birds were singing outside, since it was only five in the morning, and the only sound in the room was our irregular breathing.

There was almost no rhythm in our movements, but that wasn't about pleasure, that was our inexplicable connection in the purest form there was, I wanted to be able to merge with him and not go anywhere, but I know that I’ll never forgive myself if don't leave this place to live my dream. Even though this place has become my private paradise. I can't believe that for a moment I thought Stevenage was a boring place, nothing is boring with him by my side, and it hurts so much to imagine what will be of “us”.

I don't know when it ended, but soon we were just holding each other, our naked chests pressed together, both breathless and trying to hold back the tears.

-I love you. -The whisper was so low that I almost didn't hear it even with the room completely silent. -I will not leave you. Never.

-I love you too. But you know that's not true. -Lewis wrinkled his eyebrows and opened his mouth to answer but I cut him off. -Please don't make this any harder than it already is. We both know what's going to happen, and I could never blame you for that Lew.

-We can see each other, I can go to Paris whenever I'm not running, and then you come to me when you have some time off.

-Lewis. Please. -I sat on his mattress and looked at him seriously, Lewis looked like a child begging me with his eyes so I wouldn't hurt his feelings. -You are going to be a great driver at McLaren, you know it, I know it, everybody knows it. And when that happens your life will change completely and I will only be a small part of your past. And it's okay. But please don't make me a promise that you know you won't keep.

-Let me have a chance to try.

I wanted to force myself to answer and say that there was no way, but I couldn't, I couldn't because deep down I wanted it to be true, I wanted him to find some way to make our relationship work even though he was so far away from me in the biggest part of the time. So I nodded. I agreed with the idea even though I knew that in the end, it would be even more difficult and painful for us. As it was.

Lewis left me at home, I lost count of how many times I tried to get away from his embrace and I couldn't, we only separated because I really needed to go to the airport. But not before confirming my new phone number with him at least 20 times. I promised that I would call him as soon as I got there and that we would have a talk about the future of our relationship.

❀

We have talked to each other every day since my arrival in Paris, in the first days we spent hours on the phone, but over time we had to reduce our daily conversations, due to all the commitments that surrounded us.

Lewis was training every day and I was getting ready for the start of classes, everything was very new and different and I was afraid of what would happen if I didn't know how to get used to everything. But at the same time, I was excited to find out.

March 2007

For a moment at the beginning of those days, I truly believed that his plan would work, this long-distance relationship thing. Lewis was willing to keep his promise and every day I believed more that it would work, since it was “just a little more time until we see each other again”. But things are not always as we imagine, we were innocent to believe that it would work for so long.

We didn't even know when we would see each other again, there was no going back, this is our life now, a life where the other doesn't fit anymore. I had to pretend to myself that I didn't care and understood when he didn't pick up, or when he spoke differently to me because he was clearly too busy to talk. I couldn't be this bitch who thinks it's bad that he doesn't have time for me when he was literally living his biggest dream. All of this is much bigger than us.

Eventually, I found out about his Formula 1 accomplishments on the internet, or through his stepmother who still called me every week to see how I was doing. Since most of the time, he forgot to talk to me or text me or whatever.

Lewis had not spoken to me for some time, I tried to call him but I always ended up in voicemail with a message from him shortly afterward apologizing and saying he would call me as soon as he could. But those calls didn't come as quickly as I wish. But every time his number called me, my heart still jumped and filled with joy at being able to hear his voice, even if in the end it ended up hurting me even more.

I knew what came would come eventually, I knew my fall would be a big one, but I didn't expect it to hurt so much, they say if you expect the worst you won't be disappointed, but that's bullshit.

I got on social media that day and came across the news that I knew would come sooner or later. He was with someone else. Comfortable next to her as if he did not doubt his feelings, as if he hadn't promised me at least to try. I thought to myself that I already knew this was going to happen, but I still felt really bad. I was still trying to assimilate what I was reading when his name jumped on my phone screen, the call I had been waiting for days, but this time my reaction wasn't happiness, I felt like I was going to throw up.

I ignored his call and went to my dorm, the conversation about us that never happened would happen now, and in the worst possible moment. I wanted to calm down to talk to him but Lewis insisted on talking to me right then and there. My phone kept vibrating as I sat on the small sofa in my room, trying to control my breathing so I wouldn't end up having a panic attack or something. He knew I knew, that's why he was calling me, to explain himself, or to end whatever kind of relationship we have, at this point I don't know anymore.

I took a deep breath before answering his fifth call. I accepted the call but didn't say anything, trying my best to postpone the conversation.

"Angie?"

"Hi." My voice came out almost in a whisper.

"Are you okay?" I could hear in the background that he was in a bustling place.

"Yes.”

"Good."

For a moment I thought he wasn't going to say anything else, maybe he was waiting for me to start the conversation, but I didn't even know where to start.

"Listen, I don't know if you saw it."

"Oh, I saw it."

"I just wanted to tell you that..."

"You don't have to tell me anything. I told you this would happen, didn't I?"

I could barely feel my body, the blood was running through my veins fast enough to make me tingle.

"Angie."

"We could have spared this if you'd listened to me. But you insisted, and you asked me to trust you. And I trusted you, Lewis."

"I told you we would try, and we are trying."

"I don't think what you're doing could be seen as trying."

He took a few seconds to respond, I could hear his breathing even over the background noise.

"We never talked about exclusivity."

"We never talked about anything, Lewis. You've always avoided that kind of conversation with me from the moment you found out we were going to split up."

"That's not true."

"You know it is. We were naive and you know it. And you know what's worst of all? I can't even blame you, Lewis. I can't as much as I want to and this is killing me right now”.

I had to take a deep breath before proceeding because of the tears that were already burning my eyes.

"I'll tell you what I should have said from the beginning, but I was stupid and I thought for a moment that this was going to work. Go ahead, go live your life. You know I don't fit in with this anymore. We have nothing to do with each other anymore. You took a path and I took another, things happen, what are we after all? Just childhood sweethearts and everyone knows that kind of thing doesn't go forward."

"’Just’? Are you going to sum up everything we've had into that?"

"It is what it is. I told you it was all going to end up being a small part of your past. We were kids, and we still are. And everything tends to be a lot more exciting when there's no prior experience."

"So that's it?"

"That's it, that's all it was and all it could have been. Do what you wanted to do from the beginning, focus on your career -I laugh humorlessly. -And your perfect new girl, while I'm going to focus on my life. But please, please, don't look for me anymore. Cause I won't be able to move on with you in my life like a ghost."

"Angie…" I could almost hear his thoughts. There was a lot said in that silence that I would never actually hear. But I didn't have to, I was also feeling the same thing as him, as usual.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay Lew."

We stayed on the line for a while without saying anything, just listening to our breaths, trying to stay together even if separated for a little longer, attaching to what was already gone. I don't know who had the initiative to hang up first, but eventually, it ended, what I had almost my whole life ended, what I never thought would end.

And that was it, the boy I fell in love with and promised I would have forever has gone, without questioning, after just a few minute's phone call.

I know I can get over it, I hope that in a short time he really just becomes a good memory of my past, but not for now. For now, I'm broken and have no idea how to get out of this room and move on with my life. I know this will have to happen one day, but not today.

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mayajadewrites · 4 months

Text

Levi Ackerman x Reader: Almost

Chapter Seven: Good Things

Chapter Summary: We got some more knowledge about reader and her past, and how she deals with relationships.

I'm gonna testing writing in a first person instead, writing "you" is starting to give me the ick LOL. Let me know what you think! It's still LEVI ACKERMAN X READER.

"I should get going." I stand up from the couch, the aftermath of the euphoria you just experienced taking up the space in my mind.

"If you want to." Levi didn't protest, wiping his lip with his thumb. "I'll drive you."

My legs were still shaking from Levi devouring your pussy, so you walked behind him so he couldn't see the embarrassment.

A man has never made me cum before. This man's dick has not even been inside me and he made me cum with his mouth and fingers. So many feelings swirled my thoughts, the first instinct I feel is to run.

My father is not the best example on what a man should be. He cheated on your mother multiple times, and he always told her he would change. Change never came.

He left when I were 14.

I witnessed my mother's heartbreak as she got rid of his things in my home, one by one.

"Why wasn't I enough?" I would hear your mom on the phone with her sister, gasping for air. "I gave that man a child, my entire life, and he threw it away like it didn't matter."

That conversation is burned into my brain.

People leave. Men leave. I know this.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Levi turned around, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. "You're never this quiet."

"I'm just tired." I briefly look into his eyes, leaning my cheek into his palm.

Levi accepted this answer and helped me into the car, studying my movements.

The car ride home was silent, but my mind was loud.

I don't deserve this.

He's gonna leave like your father did.

He doesn't want me.

Levi pulls up to my apartment, analyzing my face. He knows something is up, but he doesn't want to pry just yet.

"Thank you, I had a great time tonight." I look up into his eyes, feeling a genuine grin form on your face. Levi returned my grin with a slight smile, kissing my lips briefly.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He whispered, kissing my lips twice more.

I walk into your apartment and look back once to see Levi leaning against the Range Rover, with a half smirk on his face. I didn't have the energy to make a bratty remark, so I locked the door and listened to the sound of his car leaving.

I've never been able to regulate your emotions and address your trauma. I definitely have undiagnosed anxiety, depression, and possibly more.

To be fair, I've never had to address it. I've never felt this way about anyone. The reason I've only fucked men and not had feelings after the fact is because I wouldn't let myself. I am petrified of becoming your mother.

Levi doesn't deserve a woman like that. He's successful, wealthy, has women pining after him everywhere he goes.

What's so special about me?

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

Bzzzzz.

Levi: Sweet dreams.

Me: Goodnight Mr. Ackerman.

Levi: Brat.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

The next day I get up for your 6 AM shift, unsure if I'm ready to see Nina again after my drunken escapades. Nina is very understanding, but she likes to be... well, dramatic.

"Good morning sunshine!" Nina wrapped her apron around her waist. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling fine." I grab your apron off of the hook. "How are you?"

"I'm good! Ready for the day!" Nina smiled, clapping her hands together. "How was your morning after with Levi?"

"Morning after he took care of me and made sure I didn't throw up in my sleep, suffocate and die? It was good."

"Yikes, let me shut my big ass mouth." Nina giggled, leaving the back room.

The smell of coffee grounds lifted my spirits, temporarily helping me forget about all my feelings.

☕︎⋆˙⟡♡☕

I was on bar today, making everyones drink. The café was booming with people - students, blue collar workers, and everyone in between.

"Good morning, beautiful." A deep voice interrupted my thoughts. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up as my eyes met his.

"Good morning Levi." I smile, brewing his black tea. "How's your day looking today?"

"It's better now." He grabbed the cup from me, taking a sip immediately. "It would've been better if I woke up next to you, too."

A blush caressed my face as I shook my head. "I don't think you want to see me every morning as soon as I wake up. Sometimes my mouth is hanging open, I'm drooling -"

"Funny you think you weren't doing that the other night." Levi chuckled, his eyes scanning your face. "You don't look like you slept well."

Must be the bags under my eyes.

"You're so observant." I roll my eyes, beginning another coffee order. "I didn't really."

"I have to take this-" Levi held his phone in the air. "I'll talk to you soon. Have a good day, please."

"You too." I wave goodbye as Levi exits the café. I already missed him, but my anxiety subsided for a bit.

He can find someone better than I could ever be.

He probably wants a woman that can function every day, not like me who has to take depression days.

He wants a woman who's more fit than I am.

The negative thoughts spilled into my mind, taking over my positive ones. Negative self-talk is something I constantly suffer with - I seem to be my biggest hater.

I always ruin good things.

#levi #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fanfic #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman aot #levi ackerman attack on titan #levi fanfic #levi x reader #levi ackerman smut #levi smut

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posh--bee · 1 year

Text

freak like me || Eddie Munson

pairing → perv!Eddie Munson x bestfriend!Reader

summary → Eddie knows he is a pervert for having these thoughts about you that best friends definitely shouldn’t have about each other, for touching himself in your room when you were in the shower, for stealing your panties and now masturbating with them every night, and all the other shit you could never know about. But standing in front of his mirror and only wearing your lacy pink panties has to be a new low even for a freak like him. That is until you suddenly walk into his room and make him understand that the two of you are not so different after all.

warnings → smut (18+ only), fem!reader, sub!Eddie, slight softdom!Reader, male masturbation, dirty talk, handjob, mirror sex, cum eating, praise kink, a little hurt/comfort in the middle of it all, fluff and smut, best friends to lovers, no y/n used

author’s note → I just wanted to write something about perv!Eddie stealing his best friend’s panties and then wearing them. Other than that, I have nothing more to say for myself. I also have no idea how I feel about this fic anymore now that it’s finished, so let me know what you think about it!

word count → 5.8k

masterlist

It was a Friday night after a more than successful DnD session at the Hellfire Club and Eddie couldn’t wait to finally get home to have the trailer all to himself, listen to his music at what he thought was an acceptable volume without his uncle complaining about becoming deaf, opening a cold beer and just unwinding on the couch, probably smoking a joint as well for good measure.

Nodding approvingly at his own plans for the night, Eddie tapped his fingers against the steering wheel of his van to the song that was currently blearing out of his speakers, letting his mind wander freely, from how well the campaign was progressing, to the English test he was sure he hadn’t done half bad at, and finally landing on you, as always.

You, his incredible, breathtakingly beautiful, smart, funny, and extremely hot best friend. Eddie, like the rest of your peers, still wasn’t entirely sure how or why the two of you had ended up being friends, given that he was the school freak who was attempting to graduate for the third time now, a drug dealer and apparently also the leader of a satanic cult while you were among the most popular girls at Hawkins High, but he would be the last person to complain about it. You understood him and accepted him exactly as he was, never judging him for being different or liking things others considered weird or even abnormal.

But even you would start to judge him if you knew what thoughts he secretly had about you, jerking off every night to you in these short skirts and dresses you always insisted on wearing, the countless glimpses of your lacy panties he caught ever so often when you were bending over, or sitting cross-legged on his bed, or when it was just a little too windy outside.

Eddie groaned at the imagines his mind promptly provided him with of you, lying on his bed with only his Hellfire shirt on, the hem of it having ridden up your soft thighs to give him the perfect view of the cute underwear you were wearing. He imagined himself positioned between your open legs then, kissing and gently biting his way to your center, seeing the material of your panties damped by your arousal before pulling the fabric aside and running his tongue through your slick folds, greedily tasting you until your thighs would begin to shake on either side of his head, crying out his name when you would come undone for him.

He grabbed the steering wheel tight, trying to think about anything other than this, but it was already too late. He felt himself grow hard in his pants and he knew that his plans for the night would look a little different now from what he had originally thought.

He felt disgusted with himself for thinking of his best friend like this, for using you like this, shame and arousal settling heavily in his stomach until he couldn’t distinguish the one from the other anymore, his erection now straining painfully against his jeans, and he brought one hand down to palm himself to get at least a little relief until he reached the trailer park.

When he had finally arrived and parked his van in front of his home he practically sprinted the distance from the front door to his room, impatiently turning on his stereo, trusting that whatever tape he had last listened to was a good one (and of course being right about it) before ridding himself of his vest and leather jacket while also toeing off his beaten sneakers. His shirt, jeans, socks and underwear quickly followed the growing pile of clothes on the floor, and he let himself fall onto his bed with a desperate sigh, wrapping his hand around his hard cock and firmly stroking himself, a bead of precum already gathering at the tip.

God, you could never find out about any of this. That you were the only person Eddie could think about when he touched himself, having to jerk off every time you left his trailer after having come over to hang out. Even doing it in your room one time when you had invited him to your place, lying on your bed while you had taken a shower. He had never come faster in his life, and it had been a good thing that he did because he couldn’t even bear to think about losing you because of it, about the inevitable disgust at him clearly visible on your pretty face, screaming at him for ruining the friendship that you had by being a pervert who had no control over himself.

And these weren’t even his only offenses in the past few weeks. The last time he had been in your room to hang out with you he hadn’t been able to stop himself from stealing a pair of your panties and taking them home with him while you had been getting drinks for the both of you in the kitchen downstairs, having known exactly which drawer of your dresser you used your underwear.

Letting go of his arching cock, Eddie now reached for the handle of his unsteady bedside table, throwing the drawer open and searching blindly for the lacy piece of fabric among the random other things in it, triumphantly holding it up when his hand had finally found it.

After turning on the small lamp on the table, he brought your underwear close to his face, unfolding and admiring it, the pale pink color and little details of it, feeling the delicate texture of the lace between his fingers, playing with the adorable bow that adorned the front of it.

He could clearly picture you wearing the garment with a matching bra that hugged your tits perfectly and he knew this image would be enough to keep him from doing anything more stupid than he already was at this moment—at least for a little while longer.

He wrapped the panties around his hard dick and started to stroke himself again, his eyes fluttering closed in pure bliss and his mouth hanging open, only focusing on the overwhelming pleasure he was currently feeling, already dangerously close to the edge. He worked himself even faster, frantically chasing his release, but hastily throwing your panties to the side before coming undone, a strangled moan escaping him while thick ropes of cum painted his hand and stomach.

He didn’t stop until he was completely spent and too sensitive to stand his own touch any longer, slowly opening his eyes and becoming aware of himself and his surroundings again, only to stare at the ceiling of his bedroom for a few moments, trying to recover from his orgasm. His bare chest glistened with a thin layer of sweat, rising and falling from his previous exertion, his heart thrumming against his ribcage.

Without moving too much he started to clean himself up after a few more minutes, hating the feel of drying cum on his skin, using more tissues than he probably had needed before throwing them roughly in the direction of where he had last seen the garbage can in his room.

Eddie lied back again, humming along to the guitar solo at the end of the song that was currently playing, his head sluggishly rolling to the side to see your clean but wrinkled panties on the bed next to him. He reached for them, balling them up in a fist and bringing it to his chest, his knuckles drumming absentmindedly on his sternum.

He could never let himself soil something so pretty, especially because it belonged to you. His best friend, precious and pure, far too good for a freak and pervert like him.

He unfolded the lacy piece of clothing again, holding it up between his hands, stretching the elastic of the waistband a few times and then doing something that he had never done before, never even thought about doing before.

Sitting on the edge of his mattress, Eddie bent down, his long hair falling over his shoulders, holding the panties so he could carefully slide one foot and then the other in them, gradually pulling them up his claves, over his knees, to his thighs, higher and higher until he had to get up from the bed to bring them up completely.

His heart beat painfully fast in his chest and his cheeks grew hot as he looked down at himself. The first thing coming to his mind was that underwear like this was evidently not designed for someone with his anatomy. The second thing, however, was that despite this and the fact that wearing pale pink panties made from delicate lace and decorated with bows felt incredibly foreign to him, he didn’t dislike it.

Cautiously stepping in front of the mirror in his room, he studied his reflection with amazed curiosity, tilting his hips sideways and sliding his fingers underneath the lace parts of the garment that hugged his ass beautifully. His teeth sank into his bottom lip, trying and failing to suppress the flustered grin growing on his face, taking in his appearance wide-eyed and in awe. His messy hair, his accessories and tattoos, his whole being a stark contrast to the adorable pair of panties on his body.

And yet he felt right wearing them.

Eddie couldn’t tear his eyes away from his own reflection, one hand lightly stroking up his chest while the other one settled warmly on his stomach, fingers splayed out on his skin, when the world around him was suddenly dominated by silence, the heavy song from the stereo being cut off without warning.

“These look nice on you, Eddie.”

The voice sounding from behind him was sweet and horribly familiar.

It was his best friend’s voice—yours.

Time stood still for him at that moment, your words ringing loudly in his ears as he was rooted in front of his mirror, every muscle in his body tensing up.

This was it. This was how he would lose his best friend, the person that meant the world to him, forever. And he had no one to blame but himself.

The reality of it came crashing down on him, time mercilessly picking up speed again, and he couldn’t do anything to stop the broken sob that tore through his body, the first tears falling freely from his eyes.

He lowered his head in shame and waited for the inevitable, for you to scream at him in disgust, or laugh at him, or storm out of his trailer and life, breaking his heart, breaking him in the process. What he didn’t anticipate was the gentle touch of your hand on his naked shoulder, not having noticed your soft steps coming closer to him, and it startled him to his very core.

“It’s okay, Eddie. Don’t cry.”

He shook his head defiantly, his messy hair following the movement frantically, his eyes screwed shut now but the tears still wouldn’t stop staining his cheeks. How could you say something like this, your voice completely calm, soothing even, when you had just found out what an absolute freak you had been friends with, stealing your panties and now wearing them, not to mention all the things you didn’t know about. This was anything but okay!

“It is, I promise it is.”

Standing directly behind him, you placed both of your hands on his shoulders before rubbing up and down his arms, grounding and comforting him while he fought to regain even the semblance of composure, his body still shaking with sobs.

Why were you like this? Always so kind and understanding of him, never judging him for anything. But this was just too much now. He couldn’t stand your unwavering patience with him at this moment, it confused him and made him hate himself even more. He wanted you to yell at him, hit him even for what he had done. He didn’t deserve your kindness, didn’t deserve you, but still you stayed by his side, forever persistent in your affection for him.

Without warning your arms wrapped around his middle, warm fingers caressing his naked stomach, tickling him just slightly, before you pressed a kiss right to his spine and rested your head between his shoulder blades, your whole body now leaning against his.

Eddie let it happen, let your gentle presence calm him down enough so he finally felt like he could breathe again, his sobs quieting down and shoulders relaxing.

“That’s it, just like that, Eddie. No need to cry,” you encouraged him, your voice impossibly soft and for a moment he allowed himself to believe that he hadn’t scared you away yet.

He straightened up when you eventually let go of him, already missing your warmth against him and forced himself to open his eyes, timidly meeting yours in the mirror.

To you, he had never looked more beautiful than in this very moment, his big brown eyes still shining with unshed tears, gazing shyly at you from under his long lashes which clung together in damp little triangles, the bashful look on his face accentuated by the nice shade of pink of his cheeks, matching the only article of clothing on his body at the moment—the pair of your own lacy underwear.

“Look at you,” you cooed, gathering his messy curls and letting all of them fall over one shoulder, your eyes never leaving his in the reflection. “Looking so pretty in these cute little panties.”

Eddie’s breathing hitched delightfully at your words, and you even got rewarded with a surprised little moan from him when your soft lips connected to his now exposed neck, kissing your way up to his jaw, only just resisting the sweet temptation of completely marking him up as yours for all the world to see—or all of Hawkins at least.

“R-really? You think I’m pretty with them on?”

His voice was stained with the effort of forming a coherent sentence while you were still focusing on his neck, now torturing him with gentle bites along his sensitive skin.

You hummed in affirmation and pressed one final kiss to the spot behind his ear before placing your hands on his hips, your fingertips sneaking underneath the waistband of the panties.

“Yeah, you look so beautiful in them. You like wearing them?”

You already knew the answer to your question, but you wanted to hear him say it out loud. In the mirror you could clearly see his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallowed, preparing himself for his next words, his pretty eyes fixed on the ground while answering you in a small voice.

“Yes, I really like wearing your panties.”

Immediately, your mouth was on his neck again, mumbling against his skin.

“Such a fucking pervert, Eddie.”

You sucked harshly on one spot, intent on leaving a mark now, relishing in the pathetic whimper that slipped past his lips.

“But don’t worry,” you continued, admiring the perfect hickey that blossomed on his skin, already thinking about all the other places of his body you wanted to decorate with your adoration for this boy who was completely at your mercy. “I really like you wearing my panties as well. Guess I’m just a pervert like you.”

Brown eyes met yours in the reflection again, his persistent confusion and insecurities clearly visible in them. Still not able to believe that you were completely sincere, still scared of losing you when the only thing you could think about was finally finishing school and getting out of Hawkins with Eddie—and all the fun you would be having together.

“Let me show you,” you whispered into his ear, voice low and seductive, “how much I mean it.”

Without breaking eye contact with Eddie in the mirror, your dominant hand reached further down the lacy panties, wrapping your fingers around his growing erection, already half-hard because of all the previous attention you had paid him, and giving him a couple of experimental strokes, your grip light and teasing.

A surprised moan spilled past Eddie’s lips, his eyes wide in amazement as he watched your hand move up and down his length underneath the pink lace, his hips involuntarily chasing the sensation, wanting—needing more, but suddenly you stopped, just holding his now fully erect cock. You giggled at the needy noise he made, the sweet sound alluring but frustrating to his ears.

“Is this okay for you, Eddie?” you asked him with a gentle smile on your lips, not meaning to string him along at all although it certainly did feel like it to him.

Eddie nodded quickly, too impatient for words, his pink tongue poking out to trace his bottom lip, eager to take whatever you were willing to give him and to do whatever you asked of him for it.

“I need you to use your words, can you do that for me?”

Your other hand held his hips in place, calmly waiting for his answer which came out in a desperate rush of words.

“Yes—yes it’s okay. Feels so good.”

He groaned in delight when your fingers tightened around his arching cock and you started stroking him again, setting a slow but steady pace which he was grateful for, wanting to savor this as long as he’d last—which wouldn’t be very long with the way you were touching him, your body pressed against his back, both of you watching your shared reflection breathlessly.

“Such a good boy, listening to me so well,” you praised Eddie, not quite having anticipated the effect your words would have on him, the shuddering breath he took, the stuttering of his hips, his pupils dilating even further, swallowing his brown irises almost completely.

You couldn’t help but smirk widely at his reaction, even more enamored with your best friend than you had been before which you had thought impossible until this moment, excited to learn all the things he liked and help him discover even more things that turned him on.

You continued to stroke his dick, keeping up the leisurely rhythm you had set, your thumb brushing over the sensitive head, spreading the precum gathering there along his length. Entranced, you listened to every little sound you drew from Eddie with just your hand, every breathy moan and sweet whimper, every groan at the flick of your wrist, amused at how hard he tried to keep his voice down but failing adorably at it. The fingers of your unoccupied hand began to trace along the elastic waistband of your panties and, without warning, let it snap back against his skin with a satisfying sound, Eddie’s breath hitching in his throat at the sudden bite the elastic left behind.

“Tell me what you usually do with my panties,” you said to him, your voice light and teasing. “Just wearing them and being all pretty?”

Eddie’s eyebrows knitted together in concentration, struggling to form a coherent sentence when your hand was still gliding up and down his erection, too occupied with drowning in the pleasure you were giving him to answer you immediately.

“No, I—”

His ears and cheeks turned a darker shade of red when he thought about what he was about to confess, still worried about your reaction, worried that somehow, even after all you had said and done until now, this would be your breaking point, suddenly realizing that Eddie was too much for you after all.

“You can tell me, don’t worry, baby. I won’t be mad,” you promised him with a kind smile, kissing his burning cheek for emphasis. He swallowed thickly, his wide eyes fixed on your face in the mirror before gathering the courage to speak.

“No, I’ve never worn them before, but I—I’ve used them to jerk off with.”

A wide grin danced across your face which he chose to interpret as a good sign, trying his hardest to stay focused on your words and not only buck his hips mindlessly into the motion of your hand.

“And coming all over them, soaking them with your cum?” you nonchalantly added, the mental image of your own words making for a very appealing picture. You were all the more surprised at how vigorously Eddie shook his head, looking absolutely mortified by your suggestion.

“No, never!” he assured you hastily, brown eyes pleading in the reflection for you to believe him. “These are yours—I wouldn’t get something of yours dirty just because I’m such a pervert!”

The vehemence of his words was incredibly endearing to you and a soft chuckle pushed past your lips, nuzzling into the crook of his neck to muffle the noise.

“Such a sweet and considerate boy, Eddie,” you whispered into his ear, feeling him shudder against you. “But I don’t mind if you get them dirty. I want you to, want to see it.”

Eddie’s breath caught in his throat, still not used to the way you were talking to him at this moment, stuttering out a stunned reply.

“O-okay.”

He felt like a complete idiot, screwing his eyes shut in embarrassment and squirming in your hold, torn between the blissful state you were trapping him in with your soft hands and lips and sinful words, and being overwhelmed by this surreal situation. His best friend, the girl he had a crush on for longer than he could actually remember, currently had her hand wrapped around his dick, bringing him closer and closer to his second orgasm this night after catching him wearing only her pink lacy panties that he had stolen from her and had masturbated with every night since, leaving red and purple marks along his neck, whispering things into his ear that made even a pervert like him blush.

It was better than any fantasy he had ever had while getting himself off, and as unthinkable as all of this was—it was real.

He let himself get lost further in this paralyzing kind of pleasure, feeling his thighs shake and his stomach starting to tense when a soft moan reached his ears, blinking his eyes open and watching your reflection in the mirror with a dazed expression on his face. Your eyes were blown wide and your breathing heavy while you were solely focused on your hand stroking his cock, still partly covered by the pink lace which was now stained with his precum.

Eddie couldn’t tear his gaze away from this sight of you, how beautiful you looked at this moment, clearly enjoying all of it just as much as he did.

And only then did he fully understand that this popular girl, his best friend in this sorry excuse for a town, with her cute little skirts and sweet smiles, really did like him wearing her panties and having her hand firmly wrapped around his cock.

That you really were a freak just like him.

“What are you grinning about, pretty boy?”

Your voice startled him and he sheepishly met your eyes in the reflection again, his grin not faltering but growing even bigger at your affectionate expression, finally giving himself completely to you, not trying to keep his moans and whines quiet anymore, the feeling of shame and embarrassment he had hid behind vanishing all at once.

“You actually really like this.”

He sounded breathless, completely dumbstruck by what had been right in front of him this entire time, his voice strained with the effort of speaking when his hazy mind wanted nothing more than to reach this familiar edge you were steadily bringing him closer to and letting himself fall, knowing that you would be there to catch him.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time,” you said with a soft laugh, your tone gentle and sincere. “I like it. And I like you, Eddie. Have liked you for some time now.”

Eddie had to swallow around all the emotions welling up inside his chest and constricting his throat, and his vision started to blur again.

“I like you, too,” he then choked out, followed by a deep groan when you suddenly quickened the pace of your hand, your own pulse ringing in your ears, needing to finally see him come undone by your hand. He cursed under his breath, sweet moans spilling from his lips and his knees only moments away from giving out under him.

“I won’t—last much longer.”

His warning only encouraged you further, your lips pressed to his ear now, messy curls tickling your soft skin while your hand moved faster and faster, his hips now bucking into your fist carelessly and without rhythm.

“It’s okay, you can come. Come for me, Eddie.”

This was what it took for him to trip over the edge, his eyes rolling back in ecstasy and a loud moan tumbling from his lips while you helped him through his orgasm, his release coating your fingers and soaking the delicate fabric of the panties. You only stopped when his hoarse voice begged you to, letting go of his sensitive and now softened cock while your other hand held onto his hip for support.

You peppered his already bruised neck with tender kisses but all your attention was really only on the mess Eddie had of your hand, completely covered in his cum.

“Look at that,” you grinned, lifting up your hand and spreading your sticky fingers in amazement. “Be a good boy and help me clean up, yeah?”

You watched Eddie’s focus shift from your image in the mirror to the shameless display in front of him, almost going cross-eyed when your fingertips came up to touch his lips, opening them obediently. His tongue licked at your fingers experimentally, groaning in delight when he tasted his own release on your skin before he suddenly took hold of your wrist with his own hand, eagerly sucking two of your fingers into his mouth. He hummed around them in contentment, taking his time with cleaning you up, and only let go of you when your hand was spotless again.

“Good boy,” you whispered, watching another blush rise to his cheeks when you came to stand in front of him, his big brown eyes slightly unfocused and flickering between your eyes and your lips, unsure about what he was allowed to do now, unsure about what this significant change of your relationship really meant for the two of you.

You impatiently took pity on him, for your sake as much as for his, tangling one hand in his unruly curls and pulling him close, your lips meeting his in a desperate and passionate kiss. You swallowed Eddie’s whine when your tongue slipped inside his mouth, feeling his thundering heartbeat resonate in your own chest as your bodies melted against each other, a trembling hand resting on your waist and the other one sweetly cupping your face, his metal rings cool against your heated skin.

Too quickly you had to pull away again to catch your breath, huffing out an affectionate laugh when Eddie immediately swayed forward, eyes still closed, chasing the feeling of your soft lips against his chapped ones. You kissed him again, slowly and sweetly this time, getting lost in the sensation until he drew back, simply resting his forehead against yours, your breath mingling between your faces.

“You okay, baby?” you asked him quietly, not wanting to disturb the comforting calm that had settled in Eddie’s room, wrapping around the two of you like a soft blanket. He nodded faintly in reply, a sudden yawn overcoming him and you couldn’t help but chuckle in sympathy, your heart growing double in size at how adorable he looked at this moment.

“Let’s get you to bed, hm? We can cuddle a bit and then go to sleep, how’s that sound?”

You tucked some wayward strands of hair behind his ear and leaned forward to peck his nose, earning yourself a sleepy but happy smile and another nod, his still unfocused gaze wandering from your face to where you had taken his hand and interlaced your fingers, gently pulling him with you towards his bed. He followed you on unsteady legs, sitting down on the edge of his mattress when you told him to, sad puppy eyes looking up at you pitifully from under his lashes as you moved out of his embrace, his arms still reaching out for you.

You shook your head at him when you wanted nothing more than to hold him close and not let him go again until the first rays of sunlight would fall through the broken blinds of his room, instead going over to his closet and searching for some clean and comfortable clothes for him to wear, taking an old band shirt and a pair of dark sweatpants back to him. You helped him out of the now soiled pink panties, pressing a kiss to his temple when a big grin spread across his face at the sight of them but not being able to meet your eyes and throwing your underwear to the pile of his dirty clothes on the bedroom floor, fantasizing about all the other fun things you wanted to try and experience with Eddie.

But all of that had to wait for another time, Eddie’s tired expression pulling at your heartstrings, his eyes only moments away from falling closed. He obediently raised his arms above his head when you helped him slide on the shirt you had picked out, stealing another kiss from him as you freed his long hair that was still trapped under the collar.

He slowly put on the pair of sweatpants while you went over to his bedroom door and closed it. When you returned to him, Eddie had already slipped under his covers and held them up for you, but wordlessly demanding a kiss from you which you generously granted him before making more room for you. You quickly turned off the lamp on his bedside table, only the soft orange glow of the streetlight outside of the trailer illuminating the room now, before getting comfortable next to him. You turned towards him and he mirrored you, the bedsprings creaking slightly at the movements, your hand coming up to caress his cheek with your thumb. Eddie hummed happily at your innocent touch, leaning further into it and placing his own hand over yours.

The two of you stayed like this for a few more moments, enjoying this simple contact between you before Eddie’s arms sneaked around your body and pulled you close, his face hiding in the crook of your neck and his long hair tickling your skin. You closed your eyes with a sigh of contentment that quickly turned into a surprised giggle when Eddie’s lips ghosted up and down your sensitive neck, ending their attack with a kiss to the spot just behind your ear, making you shudder in delight.

“Sorry,” Eddie laughed quietly, his speech slightly slurred from how hard he tried to fight off sleep, not wanting to let this intimate moment between the two of you end just yet. “Couldn’t help myself. It’s just—I’m so happy right now.”

“Me too,” you whispered and pulled back from him just enough to meet his eyes in the orange-tinted darkness, a smirk forming on your lips. “And I’m also glad I had the brilliant idea of coming by tonight.”

Eddie, of course, was more than inclined to agree with you on this, pressing a fleeting kiss to your lips.

“Me too.”

The lovestruck smile on his face quickly turned into a big yawn, his eyes finally falling closed and remaining like this when one of your hands began to stroke up and down his back, his whole body relaxing against yours and his breathing beginning to even out. Just when you thought Eddie had fallen asleep in your arms, you on the verge of surrendering to the sweet temptation of sleep yourself, he mumbled something into your ear, the words causing a smug smile to spread on your lips.

“Can we do that again?”

“Of course, Eddie. We’re going to have so much fun together from now on, I promise.”

Rays of bright morning sunlight illuminated his room, shining through the broken blinds in front of the window and falling on you and Eddie cuddling on his bed. He was lying on his back, his head comfortably resting on his pillow while you were lazily draped over him, your lips tracing their way up and down his neck with little kisses, paying special attention to all the marks you had left the night before. The sensation sent a pleasant shiver down his spine and he hummed happily, feeling you smile against his skin before continuing with your delightful torture.

Even in the morning light, Eddie had a hard time believing any of this was real, the memories of the previous night playing again and again in his mind, a tiny part of him still not entirely convinced that all of it hadn’t just been a very detailed and realistic dream he had yet to wake up from. He couldn’t help but wonder what colossal thing he had done right in his life to deserve waking up next to you, being greeted by your beautiful face and sleepy smile when you had opened your eyes, and now your weight on top of him and all your kisses laced with the sweetest affection for him.

He kissed the crown of your head, one hand caressing the expanse of your back before hesitantly placing it on your thigh, his large palm warm against your naked skin, calloused fingers playing nervously with the hem of the short skirt you had worn since yesterday. When you didn’t protest his touch Eddie got a little braver, his hand slowly sneaking underneath the fabric, giddy excitement cursing through him and a boyish grin forming on his lips. He was thinking about gently squeezing your soft flesh when he suddenly stopped moving his hand, just lying on your bare ass, and you could feel his body tensing up beneath you.

You giggled quietly against his neck, wiggling your hips teasingly while you waited for Eddie to find his voice.

“Are you… wearing any underwear?”

“Nope,” you grinned, popping the ‘p’ playfully. “I wanted to surprise you yesterday and see what would happen when you noticed. But you kinda beat me to it.”

Eddie threw his head back and groaned in disbelief, lightly pinching your ass when you laughed, the sound of it rousing the butterflies in his stomach that he had tried and failed to ignore for years until yesterday night.

“God, you’ll be the death of me, you know that?”

You pushed yourself off his chest slightly, just so you could meet his brown eyes for a moment before kissing him filthily, grinding your hips against him at the same time.

“Oh, I’m planning on it, baby.”

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