#smash cut 2 hours later and i want to die

[greyangelpain]

PAIN. PAIN EVERYTIME I WATCH THIS MOVIE.

#shaun of the dead #cornetto trilogy #nick frost #the head touch is the most loving thing ive ever seen #kissing aint got nothing on it #it makes me cry every time #oooh yeah lets sit down and watch a fun comedy about zombies #smash cut 2 hours later and i want to die

[skyeet-the-writer]

The Love Among Us

Chapter 1-- I’d Never Snitch On Daddy

so i haven’t seen many corpse husband x reader stories on here, so i decided to upload one myself. i’ve been watching jacksepticeye’s among us videos and when i heard corpse talk for the first time, i was like, “hol up” and now i’ve been obsessed with him. also, go stream his music on spotify, it’s amazing. enjoy! x. 

 corpse husband x female!reader

summary: while playing among us, y/n watches corpse kill felix in o2. when his body is reported, however, she doesn’t tell who killed him. 

 word count: ~3.6k

warnings: swearing, mentions of death (not real death), mentions of murder (not real murder)

EDIT: before i wrote this and after i published it, i did not know that corpse did not like to be referred to as “daddy”. had i known this, i would have not even thought of posting this. and since i know now, i won’t refer to him as such in the future. thank you. (10/19/2020)

EDIT 2: this is the first part to my corpse x reader series. i will be adding chapters as we go!

next>

4 rounds before the incident

“I was in coms with PJ!” Sean exclaims. 

“He is doing the liar voice!” Felix shouts with a laugh. 

“I’m not,” Sean tries to say, but everyone talks over him and the voting time ends. Everyone left alive, though it was only four people, had all voted for him and he yells at them as he gets ejected. 

stinky was not the imposter

2 imposters remain

The round ends and everyone unmutes themselves. 

“Lizzie, you saw Felix kill me and you did nothing!” Roomie yells as soon as the round ends and the imposters are revealed. 

“Yeah, because I was the other imposter.”

“Oh. Okay, well that makes sense.”

Everyone laughs and Ken starts the round again. 

“Wait, can I invite y/n to play? She’s doing her twenty-four-hour stream and she just finished playing Monopoly with Mark, Bob, and Wade,” says Lizzie, looking down at her phone as they all appear back in the waiting room. 

“Yes,” Corpse blurts out and there are a few laughs and chuckles. 

“You were quick to answer, Corpse,” Sean teases. 

“Shut up,” Corpse mumbles and there are even more laughs. 

Lizzie smiles and taps into her phone. “I’m gonna invite her.”

~

“I can’t believe that you actually made that deal, y/n,” Wade is telling you after ending the second round of Monopoly that you’ve played with them. 

You smile and cross your legs on your chair. “Look, I was going bankrupt and it seemed good at the time. Besides, Mark was going to win anyway, he owned half of the board.” Your phone buzzes beside you on your desk and you pick it up. “Lizzie texted me.” There’s a sound effect that plays in your headset and you look up at your screen and smile. “Thanks to _lorieplays _for donating a hundred dollars, that means a lot. Thank you so much.”

“Do you want to play another round?” Marks asks. 

You shake your head, reading the text from your friend in England. “No, I don’t want to lose to you again.” You laugh. “Nah, Lizzie wants me to play Among Us with her and a few others. It was fun playing with you guys.”

“It was even though you took all of my money,” Bob snaps. 

You laugh. “Yeah, yeah. See you guys later.”

“Bye,” says Mark.

“See y--” Wade begins but you cut him off when you disconnect from the call. 

“Oops.” You put a hand over your mouth and laugh. “Sorry, Wade. Okay.” You straighten up and glance over everything, making sure it’s all working properly. “I have to pee and I think my roommate ordered pizza, so we’ll be back after this short break. Enjoy this live feed of my pet rats.” You giggle and switch the stream over to a view of your two rats in their cage where you have a camera set up. You take your headset off and head out of your recording room. 

Every two months, you have a twenty-four-hour livestream where you play games with your friends from all around the world. Despite being only twenty-five, your Youtube channel had grown exponentially in the past three years and you’ve had the chance to meet lots of other Youtubers like Markiplier, PewDiePie, and your close friend, LDShadowLady. 

Currently, you’re on hour twenty of twenty-four and you’re beginning to feel the effects of not sleeping for a whole day. You had been drinking coffee and energy drinks for the past four hours and that seemed to perk you up for two hours max. But your roommate had ordered pizza and that would hopefully wake you up. 

After going to the bathroom and grabbing an entire box of pizza, you return to your recording room and sit down. You put your headset back on and eat a slice of pizza before switching the views back to you. “And we’re back. I hope you guys enjoyed my rats because I don’t. They keep me up at night.”

You read a comment while loading up Among Us and laugh. “No, they’re not dead. They’re sleeping. They do that a lot when they’re not fighting.” 

When you finally get into the game and entire the code, you spawn in. You also quickly join the Discord chat and wince when nearly ten voices hit you at once. 

“y/n!” exclaims Lizzie and the other voices die down for a moment before rising to greet you. 

You wince again but laugh. “Jesus, you guys are loud. Hey, Lizzie.” You move your character to the customize tab and go to try and switch your color. But then you frown and realize that you’re stuck with being dark blue. “Damn, I wanted to be white.”

“Do you want to switch?” Corpse asks. 

Your eyes widen you your stomach flips. You hadn’t noticed Corpse was in this game. Immediately, your chat became flooded with keyboard smashing and lots of “omg my shipp” and “y/n rlly said ‘anna oop-’” 

“Uh, yeah, if you don’t mind,” you manage to stutter out and take a bite of pizza as Corpse’s player comes over and the white option becomes available. You select it and also select the goggles in the hats menu. 

“How’s your stream going?” asks Sean. 

You shrug. “Pretty good. I’m super tired, though. I literally almost fell asleep while playing Monopoly with Mark, Wade, and Bob.”

“You went to college, right?” You’re pretty sure that’s Roomie. 

“Yep,” you affirm with a nod even though they can’t see you. “You’d think that those all-nighters writing papers and studying for finals would make me able to do this.”

There’s a laugh in the group and the round starts.

3 rounds before the incident

You scratch your eyebrow and sigh in relief when you’re the crewmate. You mute yourself and slide up in your chair. 

“I like being the crewmate,” you say, heading towards admin as a habit. “It’s a lot less stressful than being imposter.”

After doing your tasks in admin and fueling the engines, you stumble across a dead body in the lower engine and a vent closing. 

“Oh,” you say, and press the report button. You unmute yourself and begin with, “So I saw a vent close but I didn’t see who went in.”

“Who died?” asks Lizzie. 

“Felix,” says Sean. 

You smirk. “It’s always yellow that dies first.”

“Where was the body?” Ken asks. 

“Lower engine,” you reply. 

“I was in medbay with Corpse doing the scan so it wasn’t him,” PJ says and Corpse makes a noise of confirmation. 

This makes your cheeks heat up and you smack a hand over your mouth. Your chat explodes again but you decide to ignore it. 

“And I was doing wires in cafeteria,” Lizzie says. 

“Sean, where were you?” 

“I was in reactor doing the simon says thing,” he answers. 

You sigh. “I hate that one. What about you, Ken?”

“I was with Roomie in electrical doing the power thing. You know, the one where you have to divert it somewhere else.”

“So do we skip then?” asks Lizzie. 

“No one is super sus, so I’m going to skip,” you answer. 

When no one is ejected, you mute yourself again. “I dunno why, but Sean seems pretty sus. Because I didn’t see him on the way down from upper engine. But I guess he could have gotten there in time.” You shrug and run over to the trash chute in the cafeteria. “RIP to Felix, though.”

After doing the trash there, you head down to storage, running into Corpse doing the wires in there. You wait there to clear him and once you do, you run a few circles around him to get his attention and he follows you over to the trash in storage and watches you do that. After that, the two of you head over to electric together and do wires there. 

Suddenly, there’s a body reported and you unmute yourself. 

“Sean just killed Lizzie in front of me!” exclaims PJ. 

“PJ killed Lizzie,” Sean retorts, flipping the blame. “I watched it, he didn’t realize I was there and murdered her.”

“I watched PJ do the scan in medbay, he’s cleared,” Corpse says and you find yourself smiling for no reason. “Sean, you killed Lizzie.”

“I knew he was sus,” you say, grabbing another piece of pizza. You look at the box and your eyes widen. Had you really already eaten half of it?

“Wait wait, how am I sus?” Sean asks. 

You take a moment to swallow. “Because when I was doing fuel earlier, I was running down from upper engine and didn’t see you in reactor. Sure, maybe you could have gotten there earlier, but it was super weird.” 

The discussion time ends and PJ immediately goes to vote for Sean as well as you, Corpse, and everyone else still alive. Sean ends up getting ejected. 

stinky was an imposter 

1 imposter remains

“You’re such a detective, y/n,” Sean says when he gets ejected. 

You laugh. “I just play this game too much.” You then mute yourself and smile. “I am a genius.” 

You end up finishing your tasks quickly after that and then stand in the cafeteria and eat another piece of pizza and read some of the chat. 

“’ What am I going to do after this?’ I don’t know. I might play some Minecraft. Should I have a poll on Twitter? I’m stuck between public Among Us games, Minecraft, and taking random quizzes on Buzzfeed.” You smile and hear another sound effect and something pops up on the screen. “Thank you to coochie man for donating a hundred dollars, that means a lot.” You laugh at their name. “I love your name, by the way.” 

There’s some rattling in the cage behind you and you turn around to see one of your rats drinking water. You turn back to the chat and read another comment. “’ Do you have a crush on Corpse?’” You blush and smile, biting your lip. “I mean, his voice is hot. I’ve never met him since he lives in San Diego and I live in h/t, but yeah, I guess I do. I’ve been listening to his music for the past few days and it’s really good, you guys should go check it out.”

You look up and unmute yourself when a body is reported. “Who died?” you ask. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Are you already done with your tasks, y/n?” Corpse asks. 

God, even the way he says your name is making you blush. “Yeah, I get them done quick.”

“She does that,” says Lizzie, “She always gets her tasks done quick.”

“Ken is dead by the way,” says Roomie and your snort, smacking a hand over your mouth. “I found him in the hallway by navigation. Where was everyone else?”

“I was in cafeteria doing nothing,” you say, leaning back in your chair and spinning around just a little. “I think I saw PJ downloading while I was in there, but I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Yeah, I was downloading,” says Ken. 

After more discussion, Corpse points out that Jaiden had been following him and it looked like she had been faking tasks. 

“No I haven’t,” she says. 

“That sounds like something the imposter would say,” you hum with a smirk. “That’s pretty sus, Jaiden.”

Everyone else agrees and you all end up voting Jaiden out. 

jaiden was the imposter

0 imposters remain

You cheer as the round ends and a blue victory screen pops up for the crewmates. “Good game, guys,” you say and play again, waiting for the host. 

~

1 round before the incident 

“Oh my god, I’m imposter again?” you groan and sigh when you spawn back in. “I was just imposter, I don’t want to be it again. I’m so bad at it,”

After another short round of you and Felix losing to the crewmates, you all agreed to play two more rounds before Sean had to leave. So you move your character to admin where PJ is and fake the card swipe before moving over to the admin security thing where you could see who was around where. Luckily, no one appeared to be near admin, so you quickly kill PJ and escape through the vent and come out through medbay. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” you whisper over and over, running down to storage. “That was clean.” You fake getting fuel and go back up to the upper engine. 

When PJ’s body is reported, you see that your fellow imposter, Sean, had reported it. You stay silent for most of the round and only say that you were in the fuel area when it was reported. 

“Yeah, I saw her run past electrical earlier,” Corpse says. You blush and glance at your exploding chat and shake your head. 

After everyone skips the round, you mute yourself once more and head towards navigation. “I hate this.” You drag the last syllable and watch Lizzie enter the room. You wait a moment before walking towards her and killing her, jumping into one of the vents. You let out a sigh and flex your fingers. “I’m so stressed.” You exit out of the vent into shields and your heart stops when you see someone else in there but you realize that it’s the other imposter, Sean, and you relax. 

You run past him and go to the trash compartments and pretend to unload those. And that’s how the rest of the round goes. You kill someone, someone reports it and you vote someone off. Eventually, you and Sean do a double kill and end up winning the round.

You unmute yourself. 

“Let’s go!” Sean exclaims and you smile. 

“I can’t believe you killed me, y/n!” shouts Lizzie. “I thought we were friends.”

You laugh. “There are no friends in this game. I’m not loyal to anyone in this game. You could be my best friend and I would fucking murder you.”

“That’s cold,” says Roomie as everyone else spawns back in. 

“Yeah,” you nod. 

“Wait, PJ disconnected,” says Sean, and you all end up waiting for him to rejoin. 

In that time, you look at your chat and say, “Hey, do you guys have any questions for who I’m playing with. I’m asking you, chat.”

“I swear if someone asks about my hands, I’m leaving,” Corpse says and everyone laughs. 

You laugh louder when you read a comment and read it aloud, “_Ironlady _says that you should be a hand model, Corpse.”

“Okay, I’m leaving,” you hear Corpse say over everyone laughing. 

“No, stay!” you exclaim, trying not to laugh. “C’mon, don’t leave.”

He sighs deeply and your brain goes fuzzy. “Fine. I’ll stay for you.”

You beam and your tummy turns. You ignore the whistles and remarks from everyone else and stand beside Corpse. You suddenly wish that the little bean characters could hold hands. 

When PJ joins the server again, Ken starts the round and you cross your fingers, hoping to get crewmate. 

0 rounds before the incident

You mute yourself and sigh when you’re a crewmate. “Thank god.” You let out a breath and go over to admin with everyone else. You swipe your card and go to the cafeteria to do some wires there. 

The game turns out to be rather uneventful. A few people die and two people are voted off before the game gets truly interesting. And that happens when you walk in on Corpse and Felix. 

“I’ve had this song stuck in my head for days,” you’re saying, walking from electrical over to O2. “And I can’t get it out of my head. Maybe singing it will help.” You hum the first part. “Don't go in there, you'll become one. Freaky creatures, monster party. Eyes of yellow, scales and feathers, tails in tethers. Turn the lights off. Bend the nightmare, you control it. Artful dodger, easy does it. Shut the closet, get under the covers. Snakes and lovers. Turn the lights off.” You do a little dance for a moment and continue hum the song, glancing at the chat as you go towards O2 after doing wires in storage. 

“Like, I know the song, it’s just been stuck in my head,” you explain. “And it kind of annoys me--”

But you stop as you enter O2 and watch Corpse murder Felix. Neither one of you move and you don’t know what to do. “Uhhh.” 

Then, without thinking, you turn straight around and make your way away from the scene of the murder. “I didn’t see anything!” you shout to no one. “I suddenly can’t see who murdered Felix.” You smack a hand over your mouth and stand in the middle of a hallway. “Oh my god, what do I do? I don’t want to snitch on Corpse, he’s hot.” You scratch the back of your neck and shrug, continuing on to reactor. “I didn’t see anything.”

You’re in the middle of doing the simon says in reactor when Felix’s body is reported. You unmute yourself and fidget with the sleeve of your hoodie. You know exactly who killed Felix. 

“--was in O2,” says Jaiden and you focus back into the conversation. “And I didn’t see anyone around.”

“I saw you heading that way, y/n, but I know it wasn’t you because I saw you do the trash in storage.”

You look at the screen when Sean talks to you and you chew your lip. “I know who killed Felix.”

“Who?” asks almost everyone at the same time. 

You close your eyes and swallow. It’s just a game, why are you taking this so seriously? Suddenly, a song lyric pops into your head and your stomach flips. You imagine yourself saying it and no one knows who you mean except for him. 

You open your eyes. “I’d never snitch on daddy.”

There’s a laugh in the chat and you blush fiercely, your livestream chat blowing up once again.

“I think we know who it is, then,” says Sean, laughing. 

“Yeah,” agrees Lizzie and your eyes widen. 

“Wait, what?” you ask, watching everyone vote almost as soon as the discussion time ends. “Wait, hang on, who--”

“We know who you’re talking about, y/n,” PJ tells you. 

You vote for yourself and your brain goes blank as you see that everyone voted for Corpse. He even voted for himself. They knew. They all _knew _about your feelings for Corpse. 

The round ends with Corpse being voted out and the crewmates win. There’s some talking, but you stay on the victory screen. You’re trying to decide if your mad or embarrassed or both. 

“I didn’t know you’d say that, y/n,” Corpse says, effectively breaking you out of your trance. “I thought you were gonna snitch on me.”

“You heard her,” teases Lizzie and you can tell she’s grinning. “She’d never snitch on you, Corpse.”

He laughs and you feel something in a certain place. “Oh my god, I’m gonna die of embarrassment.” You put your face in your hands, listening to your friends tease you in the chat. You suddenly want to jump out your window and run into traffic. 

“Don’t die,” comes Corpse’s voice through the onslaught of teasing. “I’ll be sad.”

“Fuck!” you shout and slam your hand on your desk, shaking your equipment and scaring your rats. “I’m so sorry, Corpse, that was really weird, I--”

“Stop.” He interrupts you and the chat goes silent and you look up at the screen even though you can’t see him. “It’s okay. It was funny.”

Your eyes widen and then narrow. Funny? He thought what you said was funny? How could he think it was funny?

But then he speaks again and he sounds oddly flustered. “Uh, I gotta go. Um, it was fun playing with you guys. Bye, y/n.”

“Bye Cor--” but then he disconnects and you’re left talking to no one. “--pse.”

There’s a long moment of silence until Felix breaks it. “I can’t believe you just watched me die and didn’t do anything about it.”

There are some laughs and you smile faintly, rejoining the game. “Yeah, uh, sorry about that.”

“Are you okay, y/n?” asks Lizzie. 

You blush and swallow. “I don’t know. God, I’m so weird.” You run a hand through your hair and adjust your headphones

“No, you’re not,” Roomie assures you. “He has a crush on you, too.”

Your eyes widen and you scoot up in your chair. “He does?”

“I mean, he called you pretty once during a game and said that he watches your videos a lot, so maybe.”

You groan and sink in your chair. “I’m gonna go, I need to run into traffic now.”

A few people laugh or chuckle and Lizzie asks you if you’re actually going to leave. 

“Yeah,” you tell her. “But not to run into traffic. I’m going to go play Minecraft to soothe myself.”

“Aw.” You can practically hear her frown. “Okay. Bye, y/n.”

“Good luck with your stream,” Ken tells you. 

You grin. “Okay, thanks, bye.”

When you exit the game and leave the chat, you scream. You actually scream and it’s loud. Your roommate even knocks on your door, asking if you’re okay. 

You look at them and nod. “Yeah, totally fine. Probably about to have a mental breakdown, but I’m fine.”

“Okay,” they say and lean on the doorframe. “But I’m not cutting bangs for you again.”

You laugh and nod. “Yeah, okay, fine.” They leave and you turn back to your stream, feeling like you’re about to cry. Corpse knows you have a crush on him. And it seems like he has one on you as well, but now you’re embarrassed because you called him ‘daddy’ on stream.

You rub your eyes. “Well, now I know what’ll be streaming on Twitter tonight,” you tell the chat. 

#corpse_husband #corpse husband #x reader #female reader #corpse husband x reader #corpse_husband x reader #jacksepticeye #among us #ldshadowlady #pewdiepie #fanfic

[thegeminisage]

okay i have another zelda ask for you. save for whenever you want a meaty ask. in my recent zelda youtubery people have been revisiting/laughing at that wacky animated series or whatever, like 'lol this was SO bad we will never get a zelda movie now'. which.. i'm not even sure if i want in the first place. but i did think, "well liz could write a good one". so if nintendo kidnapped you and forced you to write the zelda movie. what's your vision for the vibe/big plot points/character arcs? or like. what would it need to be good. just for fun! i hope you never get sick of me sending you random zelda asks. xoxoxo.

I WILL LITERALLY NEVER GET SICK OF THIS. i am literally SO flattered you think i could do it justice. you are gonna regret asking me though because the more time i had to think this over the more elaborate it got. so. (also, i have seen the animated series in its entirety. a long time ago now but i did. it sure was an experience; some of it i liked and some of it i really hated.) also sorry this took me so long to do i took a week’s break in the middle to read 1.3 million words of fanfiction. I BET YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT well i didnt. i have devoted so much brainpower to this. too much brainpower even

anyway. the first obvious and easy answer is that i would simply have them shoot ocarina of time. with only the most nuanced of performances, the most tasteful CGI, the best on-site locations for shooting, a score by koji kondo himself which is then of course performed LIVE exclusively by tokyo philharmonic. this is the movie of my dreams. or, hell, i’d have them shoot, in particular, the movie version of the fanfic i wrote when i was 14, adapting ocarina of time. this was my first ever fic so as you can imagine it was a complete bastardization full of OCs and character death and i will forever be sad it was lost to the sands of time. 

HOWEVER. that’s the short boring answer, and having adapted it myself i know that oot is a challenging game to put into a story that doesn’t involve audience interaction, because a great bulk of the game is spent inside dungeons where, strictly plotwise, Nothing Happens. also i don’t think that’s the movie nintendo would want to make, or allow me to make. i think nintendo would want a new story with a new link, just like they would for a new game, to make it accessible for people who have never touched a zelda game before. (i think, mistakenly, they would want to make the movie primarily for that audience, but more on that later.) i also think that with the major game movies lately there’s been a push for things to be Funny - detective pikachu and the sonic movies are all packed with jokes, and from the looks of it the mario movie, while hopefully less successful (chris pratt...die), will attempt to be too. i also know that nintendo has a habit of trying out really risky ideas that sound bad but then work out well in the execution (smash brothers, to name one humble example - the mario movie will be an exception to this). i ALSO know that the most popular zelda games by and far are oot and botw, so while this project would require a new story i (and hopefully this hypothetical nintendo) would want to draw from and reference those games the most.

so. here is the movie i think nintendo would make, or allow me to make, if they trusted me a lot and were willing to take a few risks with me. THIS IS SOOO LOOOONG LOL (i am not kidding this post is ~7500 words) unfortunately this has to behind a cut. nobody is obligated to read it, it’s fucking insane. it would never fit into a 2-hour movie experience without feeling rushed, but we can just pretend i’m a deft enough writer to make it happen and execute it perfectly. i am going to reiterate that NOBODY needs to read this, oh my god, but anyway, here goes nothing:

ZELDA THE MOVIE (LIZ EDITION)

does link talk?

FIRST THINGS FIRST. this is undoubtedly the biggest question in any zelda movie, right? link talking is weird and not who he is, but how can you have a movie where the main character does not speak? in old games it didn’t really matter that he didn’t talk, but i think botw did a great job in showing us he does talk a little, sometimes, when he has to, without us ever actually hearing him, and that he has Believable Reasons for usually choosing not to do so. so i’m gonna go with something like that - link CAN talk, but usually doesn’t, probably due to some backstory reasons. i think he could speak in the film, but maybe only once - 3 times max, and each time it’s only one sentence or phrase. VERY limited. words are a precious resource.

animated or live action?

i think the previous question’s answer actually takes care of this one. now i LOVE animation, 2D or cgi, so this is a really difficult one, but i think a true human performance will almost always be able to capture more nuance, and if you are going to have a protagonist that is mostly nonverbal, you NEED an actual actor to be making good informative faces. i could POSSIBLY accept an actor informing the animation of a virtual character, like they do for tlou and quantic dream games, but it’d have to be like, pre-rendered, and not generated “in-engine,” if that makes sense, just for quality purposes. i don’t want this movie to look like a video game, even a really nice looking video game - i want it to look like a movie. i think it makes it fresher for old fans and more accessible for new ones!

the score

for sure we need old zelda tunes for this; my biggest disappointment re: the sonic movies was that there wasn’t enough of that jammin’ sonic music in them. so for zelda i think it’d be fun to have someone from nintendo collab with someone from hollywood to make a mix of something that’s faithful to the games and evocative of decades of nostalgia but also FEELS like a movie score. like, koji kondo + hans zimmer or something. that soundtrack, assuming those stingy bastards ever sold it, would FLY off the metaphorical shelves. it’d be really fun too to maybe some really well-known, very skilled fan musicians put in a few of the covers! a video game movie is FOR the fans, so it makes perfect sense. like letting that one guy sing in the sega 30th anniversary concert. i’m not saying let seth evermann and toby fox and david erick ramos and brock hewitt and theophany have tracks in the movie, but like, let them have tracks in the movie?!?!

i also think mashups between modern and classic games would be fun. if you’ve never heard this one that combines the botw labyrinth/lost woods theme with zelda ii’s temple theme, you are missing out! please feel free to listen to it while you read this, because i would definitely use it or something very similar to it as a theme for a dungeon scene. for the opening titles we OF COURSE need oot's iconic title theme i will accept nothing less

slightly related, i think if we need to pick a particular direction for the soundtrack (the way botw’s was breathy and quiet and full of piano, or the way link’s awakening’s was quirky and cute), i’d pick a slight techno/edm direction, owing to the setting i have in mind (more on that in a minute), but something that could veer into the traditionally orchestrated as well. tbh the tron legacy soundtrack was sort of edm and orchestrated at the same time so maybe something like that??? now i’m just showing my bias LMAO

the cast + the audience

animated or live action, i actually have no idea who i’d cast - oot link was actually based off of leo dicaprio in titanic, but he’s way too old now and also that’d be weird. like i’m not the person to do fancasts bc i don’t follow any actors and the like (idris elba could make a great ganondorf though). but i think the smart thing to do for link and zelda would be to get someone extremely talented but largely unknown. so we look at them and see their characters, not their very famous actors who are bound to have the wrong connotation for SOMEBODY. that is very hard! but this is a fantasy, this is never going to happen, so we’ll assume nintendo, who still has me at gunpoint, will take my advice to spend their vast millions finding the perfect link and zelda. i know they are out there somewhere

“but what about attracting new audiences” WELL i touched on this earlier but maybe we need to chill with attempting to grub for new consumers! of course nintendo’s instinct is to get new butts in those seats and make them want to buy zelda games bc they have dollar signs in their eyes (yen signs?) and diehard fans will ALREADY keep buying every zelda ever made no matter what. i have paid for ocarina of time like 5 fucking times now and if they port the 3D version to switch i’ll fucking pay for it again and thank them while i do it! but that’s my point exactly. like, look at the sonic movies: they get mixed reviews from critics unfamiliar with the series but sonic FANS will go to war for them. the people who are gonna show up to midnight release and pay to see Theee Zelda Movie in theaters like 6 times before it releases to video/streaming are the people already fucking obsessed with zelda. i think for this project it would be crucial to strike a perfect, PERFECT balance. if the movie fucking sucks bc they were just trying to use it to sell games there won’t be a sequel. there won’t be rewatches. it’ll just go down as another lame cash cow. but if the movie doesn’t attract ANY new consumers there also...still won’t be a sequel, and it still won’t be regarded as a success. so.

i think we should make up the Fame Factor of the protagonists being nobodies by having the side characters voiced by some big names. if/when people like malon, impa, groose, the sages/champions/etc appear they could be played by famous people. i think it’d also be fun to get some cameos in there - have shigeru miyamoto, eiji aonuma, and charles martinet show up like stan lee in a marvel movie. zelda williams too if she’s comfortable with that! the more the merrier! get that star power in! make that $$$ so our corporate overlords allow us to make a sequel and also don’t fucking shoot me! and the biggest star of all should be...

the partner

if link is nonverbal, SOMEBODY in this joint needs to be delivering the dialogue. i know the lack of a partner was a big hit in botw, and it worked really well there, but while books and games can survive without dialogue it’s much harder for movies - that’s the main method of communicating information to your audience. a good nonverbal performance certainly helps with communicating information, as do clever camera shots and other techniques for dialogue-less storytelling, but in the end, for a mainstream movie, link would need SOMEONE to be his voice, that’s part of why he HAD partners for so many games. it’s an age-old technique in games with a voiceless protagonist to have other characters guess at or describe what they want to say to pass the idea along to us, so i think it could work very well in film too.

now i think nintendo would want to make a totally new partner, since there’s a new one for each of the games, and they would want to cast the Most famous person possible to get non zelda fans in those seats, but again, if i was in charge of this thing i would advise heavily against it. casting the most famous person they can afford is fine if it’s not chris pratt, but we need a character fans already know, and my gut instinct tells me it should either be navi or fi. 

now, hear me out, because i know BOTH are characters that kind of annoyed players initially due to frustrating gameplay mechanics, but the fanbase’s impression of their CHARACTERS in-universe has softened a good deal over time. i think how annoying they are could also be played for a little bit of comic relief/nostalgia, which is good since zelda is often quite serious in its plot, and this character would be onscreen nearly constantly, likely having the biggest speaking role, so you could drop that comic relief in whenever you liked. 

reasons it could be fi: connected to the master sword, has been with every iteration of link from the very beginning and can explain the reincarnation/cycle thing, good way to induce a call to action or whatever

reasons it could be navi: plays on the nostalgia of ocarina of time, the undisputed KING of “best zelda ever” until botw, she could be with link from BEFORE the movie starts and know him a little better, and even express desire to resist the call

being a 90s kid i am favorable to navi, but i think the plot could work with either of them. just not a new character!!!

the setting

i’m actually gonna take a little bit of risk with my setting here and suggest all those flirtations nintendo has had with adding urban elements and tech (and space invaders?!) to the legend of zelda become real. the sheikah tech in botw came VERY close, so it doesn’t seem like that much of a stretch to have link wandering around a tlou-like hyrule, one that used to resemble our own modern urban life, or maybe even something even more futuristic. 

and i say tlou-like because oh yeah i think this also needs to be post-apocalypse. this one is not at ALL a stretch - even before botw, we also had versions of hyrule that were destroyed and/or taken over by hostile forces in the original legend of zelda, a link to the past (dark world) & a link between worlds (lorule), oot (bad timeline), wind waker (got mcfucking flooded), minish cap (hostile takeover leaving statues behind), twilight princess (coup + twilight realm), not to mention majora’s mask being ABOUT an oncoming apocalypse, and of course we can’t forget koholint either. give settings like this or this or this or this some of that quirky hylian flare that only nintendo can do, add some monsters (more on this in a sec), and i think you’ve got a world that is both easily understandable by audiences unfamiliar with the series AND one that is both nostalgic and fresh for old fans - in the same way that botw’s hyrule was.

but i don’t think this is the ONLY hyrule we should see. this leads into (at last)...

the premise

i’m just gonna say it: time travel.

obviously not a stretch by any imagination, since THEEE zelda game of all time involved time travel and helped produce the finalized branching timeline as a result, but we don’t actually time travel too often outside of that...like i said, i want to draw a lot from oot! 

i also want to explore the cycle of reincarnation* introduced in skyward sword. skyward sword and botw are very exciting to me as a longtime fan because these are the first attempts we’ve seen at pulling the games all together and making an entire universe/connected story out of them instead of letting them just float around in the ether as a collection of stand-alones that sometimes have barely-connected sequels if they’re lucky. botw in a way felt like the first proper sequel we’ve ever REALLY had. 

*yes, it’s actually more complicated than simple reincarnation, since the zeldas are all technically separate people and ganondorf never dies, but i think it’s good shorthand and tbh i wouldn’t mind if we switched to “link and zelda are always reincarnated but ganondorf never dies” or “everybody is reincarnated” for the movie just to make it more digestible to the Masses - i feel like a relatively small portion of the main fanbase would complain, especially if the rest of the movie was good. using the same actress for zelda in every timeline is easy visual shorthand, similar to using the same actor for link, whether it’s animated or live-action. it’s just easier!! sorry, this may a bit unpopular to our hypothetical hardcore fans.

i’d also like to explore what it means to accept the call of destiny/call to action and to refuse it. i had an anon once (posts here, here, and here) who talked about playing botw as someone who’d never touched zelda before and they had a totally different experience than me and how they wanted to refuse to save the world, and there’s also this comic! and i think that's the craziest brainiest shit ever so of course i’d want it in my movie.

and finally, i know it’s partially because botw2 will never give us this, but i am chomping at the BIT for some good guy ganondorf content, especially since skyward sword basically told us he didn’t ask for it to be like this anymore than link and zelda did. a lot of fanon around botw2 rehydrated ganondorf has him having been really close friends with a link and zelda at some point before being overwhelmed by his curse, and i like that a lot. because then not only is he a formidable villain, but he’s also a villain with STAKES - we like him and we want him to be saved from himself, and the monster he becomes. 

anyway, what with multiple timelines/hyrules (termina and koholint etc are also fine, they’re still from link’s adventures), it would be cool if the “older” hyrules had more traditional music, and the tracks for modern hyrule were a little more slamming. that’s a little risky, though; might be better to just straight edm or orchestrate all of it without a split.

the plot

so, i’m not getting into the specifics of each scene or how it should go because at that point i’m outlining a fanfic i’ll never write, and i have at least three ideas for how any given major beat could play out anyway, so think of this as more of a general overview.

i thinking something like: link roams the urban apocalypse landscape on his lonesome (or with navi if that’s the partner character) hunting treasure in the ruins to sell and living off the land the way he does in botw. (maybe he has steampunk goggles lol.) he’s a friendly guy who tries to go out of his way to help people but he does not have a Purpose. i’m thinking an early scene where he tries to save some passerby from monsters** and lacks a proper weapon (his is rusted or gets broken), or maybe a bit where he gets caught by monsters while looking for treasure, and again his weapon breaks, and that can throw us into the action. then later he sells his treasure to a merchant, and the people around him can give exposition on why the world is like this (something to do with ganondorf, of course - i’m thinking similarly to botw, he fucked shit up bigtime before he got sealed away by zelda) and how hopeless everyone is that anything will ever get better. again, navi can be link’s voice during this part, if she is his partner - explaining he doesn’t talk much, answering questions on his behalf.

**i am very firm on this: we need either newly designed monsters for the movie (likely what nintendo would do) or a mix of the monsters from various games. i don’t want to ONLY use monsters from botw for example, because this isn’t the botw movie, it’s the zelda movie. (i’m already drawing SO much from botw i’d be reluctant to use any monsters from it at all that weren’t exclusive to that particular game.) so maybe the botw guardians, the oot redeads, the wind waker moblins, etc. i think a guardian would actually be a great first encounter because they’re fucking terrifying and the piano chime coming in would have an entire theater ready to jump right out of their seats!! anyway

i think link should maybe get a glimpse of the master sword during that adventure, or see it in a dream or whatever, and if fi is gonna be our partner she can lead him to it as she did before in the night, or he can go back looking for it, but either way the next thing he does is find the sword and pull it out of the stone. LEFT-HANDED. idgaf which hand the actor is dominant with. it’s a movie! act! i hate righty link >:( both the sword from the stone and the lefty link are CRUCIAL imagery.

ANYWAY, this is why i like navi being the partner character. i think fi could and would come out of the sword, and explain why the world is like this, and tell link what he must do to save it, and beckon link towards the call of adventure. but i also think that is a little bit boring and lacks narrative tension. i think it would be more fun to actually give navi a plotline where she wants to REFUSE the call, because it would conflict with link’s stubborn insistence on always doing the right thing.

let’s say this navi is THEEEEE same navi from ocarina of time, right? that she remembers all of that, and she remembers how ocarina of time is actually the saddest zelda game, and she had a good reason for leaving at the end. (the actual reason is that apparently she had romantic feelings towards link, but that’s weird and bad and i don’t like it, so i am ignoring it, since nintendo also won’t fess up to it on record.) and so now she just wants to hang out with link and keep him safe and happy or whatever. adventures are hard! they’re sad! link has to sacrifice and suffer every time he’s called to save the world! ganondorf is fine where he is, so why bother! (link would not know or remember any of this - obviously, he wouldn’t remember his past lives, but it’s very possible he doesn’t remember his own life before navi came to him either; maybe he was in whatever wrecked hyrule and slept for a hundred years like in botw, or maybe it was like this when he was born, but this is, crucially, all navi’s big secret to carry.)

fi could still come out of the sword as a minor character in this instance to argue with her, but eventually link would successfully be talked out of taking the sword and put it back in the pedestal - which makes the spirit of the sword, whether she is seen onscreen or not, rebel and send him back through time. i am undecided on whether it’s an illusion and he just goes back to relive his old memories or whether he actually for real time travels - there are pros and cons to both approaches! either way navi would go with him (unless fi is the partner character and then i suppose she could) because link does still need a voice!

this will now be a call to adventure more convincing than any possible sword spirit: a glimpse of what link’s missing. the hyrule he winds up in could be HIS hyrule with all the future-y stuff but before the apocalypse fucked it up. the sky is blue, the sun is out, there’s no monsters! i think it could have kind of a solarpunk vibe, honestly. familar landmarks we passed before are restored, people like the ones he maybe couldn’t save are walking around. but in order to get back home link has to find the master sword in this era and put it back in the pedestal of time (or something like that...details aren’t important), so he spends a little time here, and, most crucially, meets zelda.

zelda and ganondorf

i think this will probably be the most important 5 or 10 minutes of the movie. you know how at the beginning of “up” you’re like ready to start bawling from 10 minutes of content bc it was that good and meaningful? we gotta do it like that. i’m not sure what happens, if it should be like an actiony adventure scene or just them hanging out, but even if they span days or weeks or months in-universe we would have 10 minutes, i think, to make the audience absolutely fall head over heels in love with this girl. possibly this is the first time we hear link actually speak - the fact that he says three entire words in front of her is a sign she’s something really special. but our movie-goers need more than anything to really believe link would want to save her, that she’s not just some chick he’s saving because that’s what you do. i think the entire conflict of the movie would rest on this premise: navi representing the part of link that wants to refuse the call, and zelda representing the part of him that wants to answer it.

it might be a good idea to have link meet ganondorf here, too, but not see too much of him, because i also think it’s a good idea for him to witness the beginning of hyrule’s destruction. we’d be due for an action scene, and also it makes the instinct to jump in and fight stronger. but when link finds and touches the master sword again (or whatever) - bam. different time.

i am picturing a non-linear jump through multiple hyrules, in which link meets many familiar faces (this is where our cast can be star-studded if budget allows) and tours many familiar locations, all the while trying to solve the mystery of the disaster in his own time and how he can make it right. it’s even possible that he could flip back to his own hyrule here and there - it would depend on the logistics of the actual time traveling mechanic. what he finds out as he goes back and forth through these various hyrules is twofold: that he has prevented and healed great suffering, but also suffered deeply himself, which again adds to the long list of pros and cons of saving the world or letting it fend for itself.

in this section link also finds out about demise’s curse, and the cycle he and zelda and ganondorf are all trapped in. if the ten minute opener to Old Hyrule was meant to make our audience fall in love with zelda, i think this section should make them sympathize with ganondorf. i would like to show him doing good things and bad things - i want to see the half-feral freak from twilight princess and the remorseful noble antagonist from wind waker. i think it’d be really neat to have link thrown into a final battle at one point, since if ganondorf is a “good guy” it’s not likely it’ll happen any other way and i’d hate not to have one. and of course we’d also have to see demise - it’s important to show that ganondorf’s agency over his own actions was somewhat limited. it’s a gray area because he chose to do some of it but how much choice did he really have in any of it? a scene where he’s sort of fighting with himself would be really good, because in struggling to decide whether or not to enter back into the cycle and suffer to save the world AGAIN, link is struggling with himself too. or maybe something where he’s looking at the aftermath of what he’s done and is horrified and wants link to put him down? idk!! there’s so many ways it could go - even before demise’s curse was canon, wind waker ganondorf sort of painted a picture of a man who was backed into a corner by the unfairness of life, which is again something link and zelda are very familiar with.

and we definitely wouldn’t leave zelda out of these sections! the goddamn series is named after her. like i said, every zelda would be probably played by the same actress, and while it’s always nice to see her, it’s not the same as knowing the zelda we met first is safe and happy. we can get to know her and her own struggle with living up to her role of protecting the kingdom, we can see her interact with ganondorf, and she she can help link figure out how to get to the next hyrule and dodge enemies, but in the end, he always has to leave her behind, and he has yet to find out what happened to the first zelda he met, the one from “his” hyrule, before the apocalypse.

i think it is in this section that someone, zelda or ganondorf, expresses the hope that there’s a way to break demise’s curse so they can all rest. there should be some back and forth on this - it could be possible, it could be impossible - but i think there should be a glimmer of real hope beyond “surely there’s a way!” but no guarantee. i think the triforce would be a good way to accomplish this - its power is theoretically unlimited, but you’d have to unite it first, and the only one who usually does that is ganondorf, and because he’s cursed, it responds to his evil wishes with evil. so it’s theoretically possible but practically impossible, you know?

and okay, like, you’d think ganondorf would think it was pointless while zelda would hold out hope that it could still happen, but i think it’d be fun to actually subvert those expectations! i think for ganondorf, who arguably suffers the bleakest fate***, to have the most optimism, would endear him greatly to our hypothetical audience, and make them want to save him too.

***bro, at least link and zelda get to be heroes and people are glad to see them. ganondorf is hated and feared by all and he doesn’t even get to DIE. he always loses and even when he wins his reward is unchecked destruction. yikes.

the bad guy (not ganondorf!!)

i think in addition to needing to solve the puzzle of his and zelda’s and ganondorf’s incredibly complex histories, and the history of hyrule itself, link should also be running from something, to give the film urgency and action scenes. if ganondorf is the good guy, we need an antagonist and a threat. you know how in zelda ii, all the monsters want link’s blood because it could revive ganon? i think that would be a RAD callback, and also give a bad guy a reason to chase link through time - with his blood, they can unseal ganondorf. 

i have two candidates in mind for this. technically three, because the first candidate is twinrova/koume & kotake. they have the potential to be wickedly funny and pants-shittingly terrifying (they were both in ocarina of time, because they bicker but they also do scary mind control), they are ganondorf’s surrogate mothers, AND they have canonically tried to resurrect ganon(dorf) before. the other person it could be is dark link. dark link wouldn’t be as funny or as talkative as the witches, but he would be lots scarier and it would give link’s actor a chance to do a little vocal performance. (just because link doesn’t talk doesn’t mean his evil shadow can’t taunt him mercilessly.) these are both REALLY appealing to me, but if i had to choose, i’d go with dark link, because struggle with the self is a defining factor in this arc i am building. it’s also a good callback to zelda ii, where he first appeared, and where the “blood of link” plotline comes from. if we already have navi, i don’t think it’s fair to have another oot-specific character no matter how funny she/they would be.

so twinrova or dark link is heading up a monster posse chasing link through time, trying to draw his blood so they can go back to the present and unseal ganondorf. meanwhile link is hopping from era to era with navi trying to figure out what it is he’s supposed to see or know so he can get back home and maybe save everyone. i imagine he’s generally only one step ahead of the monsters, and i think it’d be fun if there was at least one early fight scene with dark link in which link gets his butt kicked and barely gets away, because it would be fun to have another one later where the results are reversed.

navi/the reveal

during the course of this adventure, i think it would be kind of fun if navi, like i said, KNEW what she needed to know, but kept trying to keep link from finding out, sabotaging his efforts to answer the call because she wants them to refuse it so badly. but it was never gonna work, because link can’t go home until he figures out how to go home. you know? 

so the very last hyrule link would go to is the much-beloved ocarina of time, where, unbeknownst to him, he and navi first met. we’ll say that maybe she left to figure out if there was a way to break the cycle, even though we never saw her find out about it in oot because it didn’t exist yet, and though she looked for thousands and thousands of years, she never found one, so eventually she decided to return to link. she was there the day the apocalypse started in “his” hyrule, and she saw that ganondorf went mad trying to resist what demise’s curse wanted him to do, and eventually snapped and idk torched everything. and that means she saw what happened after, and how he was sealed - zelda herself sealed him, just like she did in botw, and she’s stuck with him inside the remnants of hyrule castle. (is it still a castle if it’s all futuristic? maybe something like this or this or this except, you know, hylian.) she’s not conscious and suffering trying to hold him back the way she was in botw, i think they’re both just frozen in time or something, but nonetheless - the only way to free zelda is to also free ganondorf. 

and that would start the cycle anew, which is why navi tried so hard to let them just stay where they were. 

link learns other things about his life in oot’s hyrule, i think. this is veering into headcanon territory, but i always read oot’s link as an outcast; he’s stuck between two worlds, and in kokiri forest he was a bullied kid, and all but tossed out on his ass even after he saved them, and not recognized or welcomed upon his return because of how different he looked as an adult. and he also lacks a proper place in the world outside the forest; as a little kid, no one takes him seriously, and he has no family or adults to take care of him so that he might lead a normal life. people are usually glad to see link in oot after he becomes an adult because he’s rescuing them, but as a kid i feel like most of the time he’s told to buzz off and go play. 

anyway, since navi was a firsthand witness to this particular journey to save hyrule, i feel like you could definitely swing her reading of those events as “the world rejected link and only wanted him when they needed him.” i don’t think it’s true, and i don’t think link thinks it’s true, it’s obviously way more complex than that, but it’s a good way to show that in addition to link, zelda, & ganondorf suffering because of demise’s curse, the people who love them (navi, who in this case is standing in for us, the audience, who hopefully by now loves them very dearly) suffer along with them, and want to help ease their pain and regrets. “why would you want to save a world that doesn’t want you?” is a very good question, and it gets right to the heart of who link is as a person, in EVERY iteration: someone who cares deeply about others and wants to do the right thing.

and i think this might be the first break between link and navi’s partnership - he’d want to save zelda and hyrule, and she wouldn’t. and if she had told him about it honestly from the beginning it would have made a compelling argument, and part of him maybe wants to give it up just because he wants to spare her that pain, but the other part of him knows he can’t, and is hurt about being lied to and sabotaged, because he thought she was on his side. i think maybe they fight about it? inasmuch as you can fight with someone who doesn’t speak. (and see, if the partner character were fi, link would just have to be transported back to the apocalypse and watch zelda seal ganondorf herself. lame.)

the climax

BUT THEN. before they can finish fighting, before link can finish deciding what to do, dark link (or twinrova ig) & the monsters show up. i prefer dark link for this because he represents link’s struggle. link can’t save zelda and hyrule without going back into the cycle (and he’d have to fight ganondorf, who we like!). dark link also wants to restart the cycle but for the wrong reasons (he wants to bring back ganondorf with link’s blood). since he’s a bad guy, he makes navi’s suggestion of just leaving things as they are, which initially seems cold and selfish, look more reasonable by comparison.

so link and dark link would have to fight in oot’s hyrule (classic!), maybe in hyrule field with lots of rain, or the water temple, or perhaps an ever-shifting background like in final destination in smash bros yes i really said that. i think this is the “final boss battle” of this movie - this is an all-out fight with special effects and action and high stakes. it’s possible that link speaks in this battle because it’s a very important moment, possibly ironically to tell dark link to shut up. dark link could even put navi in a bottle or something, i don’t know. this is the reason i wanted an earlier fight with dark link (or again, possibly twinrova) where link got his ass beat, because it would establish him (them) as SCARY, and establish how badly things could go if link loses. 

i think for this fight, link would falter in the first half, not yet settled in what he wants to do, but eventually, navi would do something to help him out - warn him about a blow or take a blow or heal an injury - to show that she has finally accepted the call herself, she IS on his side no matter what that means, and that she’ll support whatever his decision is. when they fight together, they win handily, illustrating the newfound strength in their bond. 

the ending

finally, link goes back to his own hyrule, master sword in hand, free at last of dark link and his monsters (or who knows, maybe they are still chasing him and he only just got away again). navi could be with him, but if we wanted an awful cliffhanger, we could have her sacrifice herself to get link to where he needs to be, and now the enemy has her, and we don’t know if she’s okay. i think the ending scene might be more dramatic if link was alone, but it could go either way.

at this point i think fi could lead link back through the underground tunnels or wherever he is towards the ruins of the castle, similarly to how she may have led him to the sword - if fi isn’t in this at all, he could just have a feeling, a curiosity. but we see him walk through a cave much like the one in the botw2 trailer, and maybe some soundbytes from earlier in the movie play - lines about how there MUST be a way to stop the cycle break the curse, and lines about what a bad idea it would be to try. this is why i think navi might need to be absent here; link alone should make the choice, not influenced by anyone else, and soundbytes are a good way to show that he’s still struggling with this decision.

and he goes on and on, and the tunnels get darker and darker, more and more destroyed, and he has to shine a flashlight, and he looks just like he did at the start of the film when he was hunting treasure or whatever, but this time he’s alone. 

his flashlight beam maybe like falls across ganondorf’s snarling face, suspended in time, for a little jumpscare. a wider sweep reveals he’s found zelda too at last. the triforces on their hands are glowing, they’re locked in battle, it’s sad and scary. there is something like desperation in zelda’s eyes, but in ganondorf’s too. all three of them are all trapped in a moment in time, reliving it over and over, and they can’t get out. and link looks at them, and his little soundbytes play, and then he has to decide if one tiny impossible hope for breaking demise’s curse is worth accepting the risk of so much pain and suffering for all three of them, and more people besides.

close in on link’s bloody hand white-knuckling the sword. the triforce of courage is flickering to life on his own hand, because he is considering making the most courageous choice of all, to face down his fear of the oncoming suffering to fight for who he loves, for what is right. but he opens his hand, drops his weapon, and it flickers out. and you think, yeah, okay, he’s giving up navi asked him to, right?

then link lifts his hand, still bleeding, so close he could touch ganondorf and undo the seal at last, and the triforce blazes to life--

and we roll those motherfucking credits.

the midcredits scene/sequel hooks

zelda is such a complex series that it seems nearly impossible to sum up the entire thing in one movie. i’m sure in real life even the most skilled of editing couldn’t cut this concept down to an acceptable movie time without something feeling rushed. but we definitely don’t have time to set up the problem AND give it a satisfying resolution, hence the cliffhanger. 

after the initial animated cool credits, i think we’d need an epilogue scene. i am thinking something like, maybe we had a fakeout and thought navi and dark link were both dead and/or beyond link’s reach, but then we pan back to the battlefield and see that oh my god, navi’s okay! but whoops, so is dark link. he puts her back in a bottle or something and does a cool villain laugh and navi is like WHATS SO FUNNY and he’s like HAHAHAHAHA MY MASTER LIVES to confirm that link did indeed wake the slumbering beast

things the sequel would need to address: getting navi back (link looking for navi is a great callback to majora’s mask), fighting dark link again maybe, what happens when ganondorf, who has already gone evil this time, wakes up, how to save zelda from ganondorf, how to save hyrule, and of course, how to break the curse (whether or not it’s possible with the power of the triforce, and how it will go now that link got his piece). a sequel movie probably wouldn’t feature the same wide array of characters and settings as the first, but with the benefit of developed characters and plot that’s already been set up, it could tell a more satisfying story without having to rely on nostalgia and fight scenes for as much of its fun. it would also be a great chance to explore the futuristic hyrule which we wouldn’t have gotten to see as much of in movie #1

with all that potential, if i somehow managed to pull off that first movie, nintendo would SURELY greenlight a sequel in which link finally faces his greatest foe of all: not ganon, but destiny itself. not even the games have done that so it would be perhaps fucking AWESOME. but it's also quite likely that nintendo now regrets kidnapping me lmao

in conclusion/tl;dr

a perfect zelda movie needs classic zelda music, a nonverbal link + a funny partner, and lots of cameos. it has to strike a good balance with old and new fans and save the star-studded cast for the side-characters, not the main ones. it also needs to leave room for a sequel!! the most important plot point would be breaking link, zelda, and ganondorf out of their curse, because i am OBSESSED with that. obviously the games can never do it bc then there’s no more games, and nobody wants that, but if you’re going to change mediums, you can use that medium to what it is uniquely suited for - a showdown that is ultimate and final. there only need to be two zelda movies (MAYBE three if people just want a trilogy, but idk how you could possibly stretch it), which means they get to have something the games never could: an ending.

THANK YOU!!!! for coming to my motherfucking ted talk.

#liz answers asks #paty-ofarrell #liz makes stuff #liz's loz stuff #i guess #is this meta or fanfiction????? i'll use both #liz writes #liz's meta #loz posts #loz blogging #zelda movie tag #anyway seriously thank you so fucking much for the ask #it occupied my thoughts during every shower i had for like 2 weeks #if you couldn't tell lol. again: it's so long. nobody has to read it all #it's so funny because i was like haha i don't have opinions on this though! and then 6 hours later it was like being struck by lightning #and now i am sitting here like wow :( it's too bad nintendo will never make my highly specific and impossible dream movie :( #anyway i hope you like whichever parts you do read feel free to send more anytime. wow #sorry it took me three weeks LOL as you can see it's a massive answer!!! #i'm scheduling it to go up when actual people are awake. it took this long to answer whats the harm of a few more hours

[missblissy]

Hi!! I want some pain so the Hurt/comfort post, about Alastor x reader with 1, 2, 4, 12??

((Of course Nonny!! Sorry for such a wait!! I've got a lot of these to work on lol. REMEMBER!! REQUEST ARE CLOSED RIGHT NOW, EVERYONE!! IF YOU SEND ONE IN I WILL NOT DO IT! I've had a few other people send some in and I'm sorry to say I have to delete them. I do not have any more room to take any more prompt requests. Thank you everyone for understanding! NOW.... Enjoy the Modern!AU Angst >:D))

1: “We need to stop the bleeding – now!” 2: “I hate to see you hurt like this.” 4: “I want to help you, so please let me.” 12: “You’re normally the tough guy. Today, let me be tough for the both of us.”

Something about today had felt off. Ever since you woke up, it just felt... not right. As if your mind already knew what was going to happen before it actually did. But no one can really know that for sure. That's why it's called a gut feeling. And that feeling told you that today... You might just die.

You've tasted blood before. But for some reason this time it tasted sweet, rather than bitter, and full of iron. There wasn't much for you to focus on other than the lights from the ceiling flickering over your head. You faintly heard a doctor screaming, "We need to stop the bleeding! BP is dropping- Let's go! Now!"

How did you end up here again, violently broken and bleeding out? Oh, that's right... You were driving home after work. It was another late shift during the dead hours of the night. Drunk drivers were often out during these hours of the night. One just so happened to hit you, and now you're here in a hospital.

You just wanted to go home and sleep. You wanted to lay beside your husband and not have to worry about anything. That was not your case, however. And instead, you tried your best to speak. A nurse who was pushing you along the gurney said, "It's alright, we'll help you, you're safe now." But all you wanted to do was ask about your husband. For someone to tell him what was going on. You were sure he was at home, sleeping soundly and without a clue what had happened.

And Alastor wouldn't find out until the next morning. He'd wake up to several missed calls from dozens of people and some he didn't even know. This man didn't even get dressed. He ran out of the house still in his pajamas and floored it to the hospital. Along the way there, Alastor would throw a massive fit. He'd smash his hands on the steering wheel, beating himself up over not getting there sooner.

He'd curse and swear and honestly drive like a maniac. Every red light he got caught at only made him angrier with the world. His tires would spin and shoot smoke the second the light flickered green and off he rushed again.

Luckily, you were out of surgery long before Alastor got to the hospital. A nurse walked him to your room, and he found himself staring at a sight he'd never imagine. You were broken beyond belief. The nurse gave Alastor a sorry look, "Everything's stable, for now," The nurse said, "But...." She shook her head, "It was one of the worse car accidents we've ever seen. We did everything we could-"

"Coma..." Alastor said the single word, "Induced or?" The nurse shook her head.

"Brain damage, though there is still plenty of brain activity," That was good to hear. It meant you weren't brain dead... yet. The nurse gave him a sorry look, then with a nod of her head, she left him there. Alastor slowly walked into your room and closed the door behind him. He even turned all the blinds so no one could see in the little windows from the hallways. Everything felt wrong.

He stood at your bedside. Taking in everything. The tubes, the machines, the wires. Almost immediately he felt his eyes burn with the threat of tears. And when he placed a hand on your cheek he couldn't stop the waves of them rushing down his face.

The sheer pain of the situation made Alastor sob like a child for the first time in his adult life. He sat down beside you and grabbed your hand, "Dammit..." He squeezed tightly, "Dammit!" He let out a little shout and brought your hand to his cheek, "I hate this-" He let out a small cry, "I hate to see you like this, my poor dear-"

He couldn't stop the waves of tears sobbing from his eyes. He'd never let himself cry like this before, but he felt like if he didn't cry, he wouldn't have the chance to later. With anger, he ran a hand over his face, aggressively wiping his tears. He threw his glasses off his face and they clinked to the floor. Alastor's fingers ringed into his hair as he let out another sob and pushed his bangs out of his face. He had completely lost all of his composure. Every part of him was breaking down.

Alastor sat down in the chair by your bedside and buried his head in one of his hands. With his other hand, he still held firm to yours. His fingers dug into your skin as let out another sob, "Please-" He hiccuped, "Please...!" He looked up at your unconscious face with watery dark eyes, "Please be okay," He whispered the words out quickly as he brought your hand to his lips, "Please let me help you-" He spoke the words against your skin, "I want to help you- Please let me... Just!" He paused for another quick sob, "Please just give me a sign your still in there..."

He was never a man to pray to any kind of god. He didn't believe there was one, to begin with. But Alastor found himself praying, hoping that anything would happen. He couldn't lose you, and certainly not like this. You never sign any DNR papers or made it clear to your doctors that you didn't want to be resuscitated. But you did tell Alastor if there ever came a day that you needed machines to keep you alive, you had asked him to pull the plug.

With the weight of what was once just a silly conversation that had now come true, Alastor found himself drowning in misery. He rested his head on the back of your hand as sat in his chair. He looked at his glasses on the ground as tears splattered around them, "I don't want to kill you," He whispered with a cry, "I don't want to unplug you if there is a chance you'll come out of this."

The stone-cold silence lasted only a second between the beats of your heart monitor. A beep, then silence. Another beep, then silence again. Alastor found himself swelling with rage and anger, but mostly sadness. He shook his head slowly as he stared at the ground. This can't be happening... He thought This has to be a dream... This-

Something sounded off. The beeps were getting... faster? Alastor looked up and stared at the monitors. He didn't understand any of them, there were so many, but something was happening. He watched numbers flicker and change when suddenly he felt a tug at his hand.

You didn't make a sound or hardly move but you're squeezed his hand. Alastor had never been so hopeful for something so small. He shot out of his chair with enough force to tip it over behind him.

"Darling!?" Alastor firmly gripped your hand and leaned over you. He let his free hand brush your hair out of your face as he asked, "Darling, please, for the love of god- Can you hear me?"

He waited, and waited some more. Suddenly her felt your hand squeeze him again while he searched your face for any signs, "oh my god-" He whispered to himself as he watched your face twitch with pain before your eyes flickered open. With lightning speed Alastor ran to the door of your room and swung it open, "Someone get a nurse!" He shouted into the hallway, "Please!" He ignored most of the odd stares he was getting.

It wasn't a second later that a small team of nurses rushed in to check on you. You had certainly woken up and the tubes down your throat were not comfortable at all. The intubation tubes were removed, along with the feeding tubes, while others updated your stats. Alastor waited nervously in the corner of the room as he watched a team of people work over you. He felt so helpless that he couldn't watch for long. He'd leave the room and wait in the hallway, trying his best to ignore the painful coughs and groans as tubes were pulled out of your throat.

When the nurses left, Alastor quickly went back into the room and to your side. You had only just started breathing on your own again. It was much harder to breathe than ever before, but you still managed. You were still groggy, swore, and very much in pain. Despite this, you still let the smallest and weakest smile crawl along your lips, "Hey..." Was the first thing you said to your husband.

You watched as Alastor's eyes flickered all over your form. From the casts, the pins, the cuts, and bruises. He searched your face for serval minutes than began a weak laugh that sounded similar to a cry, "H-hey..." He said with a long sigh, he even tried to wear a smile that just didn't sit right on his face.

"Al..." You raised a weak and tired hand to his face. He immediately pressed his cheek into the palm of your hand and shook his head, "I'm sorry," You said. But you had nothing to be sorry for, you didn't cause this or intend for it to happen.

He couldn't say anything, Alastor was too caught up with his feelings. You watched him break down all over again as if he was still living with the fear that you might die, "Hey- hey," You raised your hand slightly and made him look at you, "I'm alright," It was hard to see him so broken down like this, "I'm okay, I'm here." You reassured him, "I'm not going anywhere."

Alastor shook his head quickly as if he didn't want to bother you with his feelings. He sucked in a quick gasp for air then sobbed out, "I'm not strong enough to deal with something like this- Ever-.... I can't lose you." He said quickly.

You couldn't really scoot over but thankfully the bed was rather large. You gave Alastor's arm a tug and he quickly climb in and curled up beside you. He was careful to stay clear of any broken bones as he made himself comfortable.

You stared at the ceiling while Alastor shut his eyes and buried himself into the crook of your neck, you used your free hand to comb his hair despite the pain it caused you to move, "That's alright," You finally told him, "No one is strong enough to deal with something like this. You're normally so tough and good at hiding your emotions. But you don't have to do that. I'm alive, I lived, I can be tough enough for the both of us, even if it's just for today."

Alastor curled himself as close as he could beside you. He wanted nothing more than to hide and forget about this day, he knew how impossible that was but he still wanted it. You could feel his tears running from his face and onto your skin. He couldn't stop crying when normally he never cried. He didn't even cry at his mother's funeral. Even though you were the one in the car accident, somehow you felt that Alastor was in the most pain.

"Please don't ever leave me," His voice was raspy and broken as he spoke against the skin of your neck.

With a sad and sorry look on your face, you did your best to pull him closer and wrap your arm around him. You pressed your forehead against his and you felt a set of tears drop from your eyes. You did your best to smile as you spoke, "I won't," You promised, "I'll never leave you, I'll always be here."

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #hotel #alastor x reader #alastor x you #alastor / reader #alastor / you #reader insert #x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #human!alastor #human!reader #modern!au #angst #angsty #not fluffy #not cute

[e-jaegerenthusiast]

how mikasa uses the red scarf on eren

nsfw eremika drabble <3 (part 2)

part 1 here

warnings/tw; smut, unprotected sex, teasing, edging, overstimulation, choking, slight bondage?, some fluff

•••••••••••••••••••••••

eren jaeger was always in control. almost.

mikasa had great strength, she always stood up for herself. never listening to others, she didn’t need anyone. except for eren.

she had devoted herself completely to him. mind, body, and soul. she loved him to bits and pieces. she would do anything for him, die for him, kill for him, live for him.

she would devote all of herself to him whenever he wanted. letting him fuck her until she was shaking, thighs sore and stomach slightly aching from where eren had been deep inside her.

it’s not like she wouldn’t like it. she loved the kind of pain eren inflicted on her. she knew he would never hurt her, could never bring himself to.

however, sometimes eren could be a bitch.

he would tease and edge her for hours.

abusing her so-called ackerman strength and patience.

mikasa knew he could go on for hours, even if she tried to touch him, he wouldn’t let her.

sometimes he wouldn’t tie her up, he would love looking down on her as she struggles to keep her hands above her head like he had instructed her to. would love to see her be at war with herself as she absentmindedly tries to decide between her never ending devotion to eren or her own pleasure.

he secretly wanted her to snap, wanted her to just growl and pounce on him. he wouldn’t ask, eren jaeger never asked for anything. he never asked her to pleasure him. she already knew all his desires, all his weak spots and all his breaking points.

well one time her patience did snap, it was when he was away from her for a week. a week was a lot for two people who can’t stop fucking every other night. he came back after a week of being away from her, and mikasa almost screamed when he demanded she don’t touch him.

he didn’t even let her hug him when he walked through the door. her brows furrowed and her eyes started tearing up. he merely had a small smirk on his face, standing infront of her and telling her it’ll be worth it, that he will pleasure her to no avail later on.

well eren was an asshole. he had prolonged all his activities in the day, taking too long to shower, eat, and just fucking about really.

only when mikasa stopped following him around the house like a lost puppy, sitting on their shared bed, arms crossed with a scowl on her features. only then, he started to move towards her. bastard didn’t even have a shirt on the whole day as he tried to hide his smirk when mikasa practically drooled over him.

he walked towards the bed, sweatpants hanging low on his waistline, hair in a messy bun with multiple strands fanning around his neck and his forhead. he looked godly.

he sat on the bed next to her, putting his large palm on her cheek. she shivered beneath his touch. she close her eyes, took a deep breath, and leaned into his palm. she thought he would finally give her what she wants. finally touch her, let her have him after a whole week and a day of not being able to touch him, to feel his touch.

she was wrong, he continued the torture, just this time on their bed, as he spread her legs wide open, demanding she keep her hands above her head. she squirmed and writhed beneath him, whining and begging. hiding her red cheeks in her scarf.

eren would chuckle menacingly. “look at you, love.”

he would lightly glide his fingers down her stomach, making her arch her back towards him. “got you so desperate, yeah?” she would whine at his deep voice, looking up at his lust-filled eyes, attempting a puppy-eyed look as eren had an amused expression on his face, “‘ren, please, please, let me touch you. I’ve missed you. I wanna touch you!” she would kick her legs like a child, as if she was deprived from sweet candy. she wanted him. she wanted him so bad it hurt, it hurt her insides. her hands hurt, aching to touch him. her lips and tongue hurt, wanting to be on his. her cunt hurt, clenching around nothing as eren’s hand would stop right above her clit.

but most of all, her head hurt. it ached. it was deafening. it was numbing all her other aches, everything fading away except eren’s teal eyes.

she looked up at him, his eyes filled with lust, as if a flick was switched in her, she grunted and pounced on him. pushing him into the bed, she straddled his lap, her wetness spreading on his own already-damp sweatpants as her legs were on either side of him.

he looked up at her with a shit-eating grin, he wanted this. he would let her control him, do anything she wants. it was turning him on more and more by the second. the feral look in the ackerman’s eyes alone could make him cum undone, her eyes glowing with determination. determined to pleasure herself.

she started unwrapping her scarf around herself, throwing it around eren’s neck, god he looked good in it. it had been years since she saw the red fabric around his slender neck.

she tugged on both ends, bringing eren’s face impossibly closer, making him clench his jaw and grunt as she looked down at him, the tip of their noses touching, his teal eyes switching between glancing at her eyes and her lips.

she planted a slow lick on his lips, with that, he groaned and smashed his lips against hers. mikasa’s grip on the scarf around his neck tightening as they swallowed eachother whole. their tongues sloppily playing with eachother, eren biting mikasa’s lower lip as she moans into his mouth.

mikasa held both ends of the scarf with one hand, her other hand going to tangle with the loose hairs around his neck as she started grinding on him. eren started meeting her thrusts, both of them dry humping eachother like some high school kids.

when they both ran out of breath and parted their lips from eachother, a string of saliva connecting them. mikasa’s hand in eren’s hair went to tug at the waistband of his grey sweatpants, his breaths coming out his swollen lips as pants.

she managed to bring down his sweats, now pooling around his knees, his cock finally being freed, smacking against his abs, too red and glistening with precum, begging to be touched as eren never would. eren sighed loudly, slightly thrusting upwards as mikasa’s folds glided against the side of his length.

they were both panting messes, at this point just teasing themselves. mikasa grabbed a hold of his shoulders as she buried her head into the scarf around his neck, lifting her hips, waiting for him to finally fill her up.

eren chuckled lowly, one hand around mikasa’s waist as the other grabbed a hold of his own cock, so hard he could swear he would explode. yet the bastard still went on about his teasing, hitting the tip of his dick on her cunt one, two, three times before she whined, he brought his other hand down to her ass, giving it a sharp slap. she moaned loudly into his neck, trying to calm herself with his smell.

eren’s patience ran thin, finally shoving his thick cock into her hole with a groan as he held her waist with both hands. mikasa moaned, eren’s cock wasn’t even halfway in, her wet cunt tightened around his tip, screaming as her legs shook, her head forced back as she came around his tip.

eren looked up at her, amused look on his face as he held himself back from cumming, being too good at that by now. as mikasa opened her eyes, she was met with eren smirking hazily, “you just came around my head, baby?” he questioned in a teasing tone, already knowing the answer.

mikasa furrowed her brows, grabbing both ends of the scarf as she lowered herself onto him in a flash, all of his length buried inside her to a hilt, his tip hitting her cervix, threatening to rip up her insides. she held back a wince, tears welling around her eyes but she swallowed the lump in her throat, she was determined. determined to wipe that shit-eating grin off his handsome face.

eren’s face scrunched up, his eyes shutting without his will, lips parted as he threw his head back with a growl. mikasa could feel thick, white ropes fill her up. her thighs slightly shaking around him from the overstimulating texture of his cum deep inside of her.

eren was a moaning mess beneath her, still cumming, he opened his eyes lazily, feeling mikasa wrap other end of the scarf around his neck and tug at the ends, the scarf cutting eren’s blood flow in the now prominent vein in his neck.

he gasped, holding a tight grip on mikasa’s waist as his slender fingers would most probably leave purple marks there for the next few days. he held her waist as he started thrusting up into her, cock still hard even though he just came.

his breaths came out ragged, turning into moans and groans halfway as mikasa had her mouth open, no noise leaving her mouth as she had a deathly grip on the scarf around his neck. eren’s previous cum was oozing out of her with each of his brain-damaging thrusts, leaking back down onto his dick and his thighs. it was messy, sloppy, hard. just like eren likes it.

eren groaned as mikasa kept clenching around his cock, more cum sliding in and out of her, his thrusts hard and bruising, “harder,” he choked out. mikasa has a confused look on her face as she looked down at him, “choke me,” he said between pants, mikasa clenching around him with his words, “choke me, mikasa. harder.”

he was demanding something from her. for once, asking her to do it, she moaned as she tightened her grip around the scarf, adding one of her hands into the mix as she pressed her fingers around his neck and onto his popping veins.

he whined. eren jaeger fucking whined.

it was too much, mikasa clenched harder around his cock if that was even possible, her thighs shaking and her holds on his neck and the scarf tightening involuntarily.

he grunted and moaned, throwing his had back as he kept thrusting in her, “fuck— fuck— m-mikasa, i love you, i love you, love yo-“ cumming inside her with a loud groan, as she panted his name like a prayer.

they stilled, both of them spent as they had each came twice, mikasa could feel another patch of cum oozing out of her and onto eren’s still-hard dick.

they both opened their eyes at the same time, looking at eachother as mikasa’s grip on the scarf loosened, eren smiled, turning into a chuckle as mikasa snorted.

both of them breaking down into laughs as they were high on eachother.

••••••••••••••••••••••

there we go! as i promised, the other one got 30 likes so :p

hope you guys enjoyed oml- this was a whole ass ride. literally.

i absolutely wanted to write sum where eren is a teasing mf, laughing at mikasa for coming too soon- but mikasa being the badass she is— shows him he ain’t shit either 🥴

not me tearing up at the end tho-

© all content belongs to e-jaegerenthusiast, do not repost or copy any of my work

#eren jaeger #eren x mikasa #eren smut #aot #eremika smut #eremika #mikasa ackerman #mikasa smut

[worstloki]

Top Forty Thor-Being-Thor Moments from Thor 1

just absolute dumb*ssery that this 7yr old kid’s life goal is to “hunt down the monsters and slay them all”. I’ll go easy on him here and let the Thor/Loki expressions do the talking because of “...just like you did Father” but seriously can his hands even fit around a sword handle??? this kid isn’t even punching the air right??? if there was a sword in his hand he would’ve cut his head with the way he’s moving???? pure tiny-himbo energy here just look at that >:o face he’s making. contrasts very nicely with Loki’s ‘,:|. 10/10. such a baby idiot.

“the jotuns must pay for what they have done! they broke into the weapons vault! if the frost giants had stolen even one of these relics!” thor. thor please. can you even name one of these relics. thor. hey thor. thor. shut up. “well, what would you do about this?” odin asks him. “march into jotunheim! like you once did! break their spirits! so they’ll never try anything like this again!” wow okay so we’ve fast-forwarded by like a thousand years and thor is still going on about genocide. huh. that’s funny, i thought loki was the genocidal one. hmm. i also just realized that the loki exclusive clip gives loki the same hairstyle thor has here so do what you will with that information.

0/10. horrible. terrible. i dont care how angy thor is about not getting to kill some jotuns or become king today this very instant, that is a tremendous waste of food. an absolute fool. how can he just remorselessly throw the bread to the floor. if loki stabbed him when he was 7 he would deserve it for this table flip alone. what a privileged white *ssh*le.

loki came skulking around a corner and suggested not to go to jotunheim and not only did thor not suspect anything but he also then went on to decide to go to jotunheim. 10/10 himbo material. 

if tumblr didn’t have a picture limit i would put every instance of thor smiling in this list because look at that stupid smile. he’s such an idiot. 11/10. this is the thor content i’m here for.

“I have no plans to die today” thor says with the stupidest open-mouthed smirking smile ever captured on film. right after he also told heimdall not to tell anyone they’re gone. he’s literally planned to strand them on jotunheim. thor’s grand plan was to strange themselves on jotunheim and also start a fight. i repeat: thor’s plan was to successfully slay all the frost giants and not need to return until they’re all gone. what an absolute d*mb*ss. this is getting ridiculous. this was originally a top-ten-thor moments list but i’m not even twenty minutes in so i’ll have to extend the list. thor. thor are you listening? thor, you’re such an idiot.

“HOW DID YOUR PEOPLE GET INTO ASGARD?!” thor you sweet sweet summer idiot, please, i am beggin,g you,, learn to rea,d , a room,, literally everyone else who came with you is regretting it, there is complete silence and only the rumble of the opposing king is meeting your “I AM THOR, SON OF ODIN”s, please, please take some notes from Loki, or, you know, literally anyone else in the room, since everyone is asking you to get out of this realm while you still can,

thor’s stupid smile makes an appearance after he gets called a princess and decides to fight a whole realm over it. you know what? thor is a princess. he’s the prettiest princess in all the lands. what’s thor gonna do about it? is he going to fight me too? I hope he does the stupid grin first. minus 15 points for the sexism. thor is a complete and utter sadistic fool who needs to get a hobby. seriously, he’s 1500 years old and still going on and on about slaying all the frost giants. boi, i hate to break it to you, but your dad is not the best or only example of greatness out there. i don’t think your dad even qualifies as an example of that. 

“THEN. GO!” 🥰 ahh yes, just thor thingz 🥰🥰 like when one friend has had his arm burnt 🥰 and another friend has been impaled and needs medical attention, 🥰🥰 and all the rest of your friends are yelling for you, 🥰 and your brother is telling you they must go, 🥰 and you decide to buy everyone time by laughing maniacally and killing more frosties because you care for them and dont find joy in destruction like a loon 🥰🥰🥰 

THIS is the iconic Thor moment that makes my day whenever I think about it. Just Thor, an absolute bumbering 6′6′’ giant boodlusting dummy sees Odin and just decides to yell “FATHAA!! WE’LL FINISH THEM TOGETHAAA!” as if the last thing Odin told him wasn’t “no, thor, we’re not going to do anything to the frost giants, do not go after them and try to kill them all.” 11/10 d*mb*assery right here folks, I couldn’t ask for Thor to be more of a fool. This is PEAK Thor energy. Look at that face. I feel like Thor spends half this movie with his nostrils flared. I love it.

okay i gotta give thor credit for rightfully calling odin “an old man and a fool” but also there was not even 1 frame of the scene where Thor had a decent face so now all i see is >:O >:| >:o >:[ when i watch that scene. yelling at odin was great, not yelling at odin after he HUAERGHed at loki was less great, but to be fair it’s thor and he is the definition of Peak D*mb*ss. 

thor literally GROWLS and starts yelling “HAMMAA?? HAMMER??” over and over. He was hit by a van, he fainted, he woke up and started growling. I don’t know what else there is to say about this.

“you dare threaten me? puny human?”. so. uhh. basically. Thor knew she was threatening him? He KNEW she had a weapon? instead he made a face and started yelling as he tried to walk his way closer????? thor you complete and utter dum dum. you frickin hairball-for-brains. im not even surprised darcy tasered him. with that kind of face, i’d taser him too.

when you wake up in an unknown place to a person smiling at you without a stupid smile, the first step is always to attack first and ask questions later 😌😌😌 (but seriously thor you imbecile why didn’t you ask where you were instead of throwing multiple people around the room and getting your butt needled. you clueless buffoon. you’ll remain a clueless buffoon if you don’t listen to anyone.)

just a quick recap but thor was knocked unconscious by a van and these people kidnapped him aboard and the next scene we see him in he’s checking himself out in  mirror after presumably changing right there in the open?????? these are the things that make thor thor. any other character and i’d question it so much, but this is thor, and i truly believe this is in-character for him. just change in the open because why not? thor is a beefcake and that’s his only redeeming quality and he knows it. 10/10 thor moment. 

I am now convinced that Thor saw Jane and “5k van-hitter to lover slow-burn height-difference himbo-scientist trope” flashed through his mind.

“but no more smashing!” Jane says, and then Thor proceeds to check her out and smile unlike an idiot and like a douche. was this his version of flirting???? i’m not one to decide, but yes, yes it was. He threw a cup to the ground and broke it, and she’s getting mad at him and berating him about it, and he’s liking it. y’all i’m sorry to break it to you like this, but thor has a canon fetish. i am so, so sorry.

im DYING. THAT ISN’T EVEN A KISS, HIS MOUTH IS OPEN. he SMUSHES his mouth around her knuckle???? WHY. I can’t keep noticing things like this. send help. please. Jane’s response makes so much more sense now; she’s laughs for a solid 3 seconds and shakes her head and is like “uhh, thank you? ahaha,” and then she keeps looking back longingly when walking away. they are doing this in PLAIN sight of EVERYONE. Darcy and Erik are standing RIGHT THERE, and Thor is doing weird things to her with his mouth. I’m out. I am done here. goodbye. 

return of the stupid smile AND the douche smile in quick succession through the entire trip. their entire dialogue is peppered with innuendo. “I’ve never done anything like this before. have you ever done anything like this before?” “many times, but you are brave to do it.” “I have nothing else to lose.” “ah but you are clever, far more clever than anyone else on this realm.” “realm? rEaLm?” “you think me strange?” “yes” “good strange or bad strange?” “I haven’t decided yet.” I AM DYING OVER THIS. plus, we get Return Of The Himbo with Jane asking after Einstein Rosen bridges and Thor is like “uh, actually, more like a rainbow bridge 😜🤪” i feel so sorry for jane here, didn’t know how much of a d*mb*ss Thor was when signing up for this van-trip and knuckle-sucking 😭😭😭 i also no longer have questions about how the trip that SHOULD HAVE BEEN A HALF-HOUR ONE turned into one that LASTED TILL THE SUN WENT FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY TO SETTING by the time they arrived. I have no questions. please. I don’t want to know what they were doing in that van. please no. don’t make me think about it.

thor’s plan had 3 steps and they were 1. give jane his jacket 2. walk in and get his hammer 3. fly out. that was literally his plan. he had the first “I have a plan. attack.” moment in the MCU. pure concentrated 0-brain-cells energy right here. how can you not stan this king of d*mb*ssery. look at him, flaunting his big boy muscles. he’s about get his hammer and fly out, like he just told jane with a trademark stupid-smile.

crop-top hair-mop thor is my favourite thor. the way the entire fight scene parallels a hamster in a maze only exemplifies the thor vibes for some inexplicable reason.

“you’re big. fought bigger.” + Thor douche-smile + subtext from earlier + rolling around passionately in the mud = not a happy me. 

I swear i’m not making up this romantic subtext but it’s barely even subtext. the entire scene leading up to Thor’s attempt at lifting the hammer is actually filmed erotically. I’m not kidding. First there’s a shot where Thor pulls aside a hamster-cage-wall blind which mirrors a shower-curtain, and THEN he walks around the hammer while smiling douche-ly at it, we get a few close-ups to his face which are shot from angles slightly lower than himself, giving him an aire of superiority, plus the music adds to this, he reaches out for the hammer’s handle with a mud-covered arm in the rain, in non-slow-motion slow-motion, and he wraps his arm around it, like, he fully twists his arm, unecessarily sexually, around it as he grabs the hammer. This is not okay. On the plus side, it makes the movie much more entertaining,, on the down side,,.

im not going to call Thor dumb for not knowing he’s not worthy. im not going to. because odin literally whispered the enchantment to mjolnir after he’d thrown thor to midgard. it is very funny watching thor grunt in frustration though. he starts yelling because he couldn’t lift the hammer and just lets himself get caught. like, dude, get a life, go buy a new weapon from the store, seriously. he mourns for the hammer on-screen longer than he does for loki. he also looks like he’s in far more pain here. he becomes catatonic and unresponsive after this, but when loki dies he’s already feasting the same afternoon. 10/10 dum dum thor material. never change thor, never change. (that’s code for please change, thor, please,)

thor trying to establish dominance wherever he goes is the funniest thing because at this point he’s being a complete asgardian *ss about it and it’s reaching points of pettiness never seen before. side note: he is possibly flirting with selvig too. maybe. i’m not saying anything happened, but Thor’s openning lines when bringing him home carried over his shoulder are “he’s fine, not injured at all,” followed with an apology to selvig, and an explanation to jane which consisted only of “we drank, we fought, he made his ancestors proud,” and then he puts the man to bed and before he falls asleep erik says “i still don’t believe you’re the g*d of th*nder, but you ought to be,” so... your choice, i guess...

thor’s got his trademark stupid smile and stupidly takes jane’s life’s work notebook and starts doodling in it about trees. the last time his father told him this story about Yggdrasil was when he was 5 and he clearly hasn’t payed attention to any lesson about anything since and it shows so so much. thank you thor. very insightful knowledge you’re passing on hear. ‘i come from a world where [science and magic] are one and the same,’ ok great, now elaborate on that please. oh, right, you can’t because you’re thor, my bad, 20/10 thor behaviour. he couldn’t even doodle nicely. all his lines are wobbly. epic art fail. i wouldn’t trust him near my sketchbook with a 2B pencil.

THIS is thor’s realization face. in case anyone was interested in what ‘dawning truth’ looked like on him. 😰😪 THIS is the face of a thinker, of a man betrayed by his own beloved brother for unprecedented reasons. look at the nuance in his expression. 😩😩😩 so many emotions, I can’t even count them all 😩💯😪

stupid smile and “do not worry my friends, i have a plan,” he says, “i’ll just try and abuse the fact that Loki’s super selfless and kind and has no self worth to my benefit as i have countless times before which is exactly what he’s rightfully angry about this time,” he doesn’t think to himself because that is NOT the smile of someone who is thinking... like, at all. +10000 points to gryffinthor. the d*mb*ssery really jumps out.

“im sorry bro for whatever i did and whatever you’re blaming me for as an excuse to do this, im sorry bro, but you’re disturbing innocents that i don’t really care about but you’re the one making a scene in front of them so why don’t you admit you won’t kill me and are just having a temper tantrum and we move on? hmm?” and then he proceeds to get slam dunked in the face with a metal arm like yEAAAA BOI that’s what you GET for going up against the SENTIENT LAVA-SPEWING metal-man ya absolute dunderhead clod. thunderhead clod? yeah, that. he’s just so dumb, your honour, please, you must understand, the victim pleads guilty on all charges of d*mb*ss and d*mb*ss alone.

I can NOT describe the emotions I feel knowing that Thor is suck-kissing Jane’s knuckles. Like, his mouth is literally jelly-ing it up against her hand. There is suction there and it shows when he is placing and removing his mouth. I promise that’s what is happening. I’m not any happier than you about this. I regret everything. This is why Loki should be what is focused on and not Thor; Thor’s going around trying to frick frack everything in sight even if it’s just Jane’s hand. He’s maintaining eye contact with Jane while he licks her fingers. Why did I decide to rewatch this movie. 

i’m only adding this in as a thor moment because of how desperately and badly they kiss. seriously. 2/10 kiss. im not surprised jane broke up with him. they look like two actual seals fighting over an actual grape. while i’m here i’m going to criticize every fic ever that decided thor is an experienced gentle lover. what were y’all on when watching this movie. thor can and will f*ck literally everything in sight and he won’t even do it well because he is the peakest of peak d*m d*m. look at this man. look at his face. that is the face of an absolute himbo idiot, and it’s the face of an absolute himbo idiot who knows it. he’s been stranded on earth for 2 days, max, and his flirt-count is at 69 people because his name is one letter away from thot. i bet his terrible use of a pen from early means he writes his ‘r’s like ‘t’s and he doesn’t even care. 1000/10 thor moment. doesn’t get much more romance-thor than two individuals smooshing their faces together after some finger sucking. that finger sucking is gonna leave jane simping for years. and that’s true love babey. <3

“I’ll handle my Brother!” Thor says, as if Loki didn’t send a metal-murder-bot that quite virtually killed him less than ten minutes ago asdfhkhsdgsdjf Thor, you horrific himbo you, Loki’s weapon of choice is literally throwing knives he will literally kill you before you enter the room if he’s on his game and wants you dead which he just proved he would do and you’re just gonna???????????? jog on over to him????? Thor??????????? bruH???????????? buddy??????? pal???????? you really wanna go 1v1 the brother you very clearly underestimate and know nothing about????????????????? im loving the confidence, but, no.

Loki: “you literally can’t stop this from here.” Thor, immediately: “i’m going to hit it with the hammer and see if that works” and then it does in fact work later... technically speaking, even if it ends up causing chaos destruction and death and loki falling off the bifrost 😔😔😔 but Big Brain Thor is the Biggest Brained Thor!!! The plan worked!! in a messy-Thor-ish way, but it did!!!

“you can’t kill an entire race!!!!” Thor yells, teeth gritted, as he faces his brother, his coward pacifist brother, who has suddenly decided he wants to join the age-old family tradition of realm-destroying, when this is supposed to be Thor’s dream, Thor’s, not Loki’s. How dare he, Thor thinks to himself, fist clenched around Mjolnir in anger, the pain of the handle pressing against his palm perhaps the only thing preventing him from lashing out at this thought, that’s my planet of monsters to slay, he should go get his own! Loki hits Thor across the face with the back-end of his spear. “Now fight me,” Loki says, but Thor, well, Thor cannot fight, as he remains stunned that of all things Loki would dare steal his life’s ambition, and he is sent sprawling backwards across the observatory, slowly but surely sliding to a stop despite his catatonic, very symbolic silence.

the elegance, the poise, i see your time on earth has made you no less graceful, Thor. the simple magnitude of this sprawl. the spread of the arms. the turn of the feet. this is not a dude, this is a man.

sometimes your brother starts vehemently talking about he’s gonna kill the race of monsters and about how he’s only ever wanted to be your equal and about how he’s not your brother and never was and sometimes you just have to say “this is madness” instead of addressing the issues or asking for any of the  deets 🔥 👊💯😩

Loki is whipping Thor’s butt. Both literally, and metaphorically, Loki is whooping Thor’s d*mb*ss. Earlier he knicked Thor’s face, now he’s just pushing Thor around, he uses the spear as a pole and later kicks Thor’s face by kicking vertically up, and Thor, bless him in all his blond golden muscled glory, doesn’t think anything is up with this, gosh he’s such an absolute utter idiot

sometimes your brother laughs way too much and also cries too much in a fight and there are also too many of him so you just need to blast lightning so you get a shot at all of them 😌😌😌 and then put your magical infinitely-heavy hammer on his chest 😌😌😌 but it’s okay because Thor left holes in Loki’s container 😌😌😌

now THIS is the meat to Thor’s funny bone, just the pure unadulterated humour that is Thor saying that there will never be a “wiser king” or a “better father” than Odin, it cracks me up every single time without fail, just the way he says it with a straight face and— what do you mean he wasn’t joking

look at Thor’s stupid smile as he asks Heimdall to spy on jane every single day while conveniently never asking after Loki ever. This is Thor’s face in mourning after he attended a feast after everyone was celebrating after Loki’s death. Look at his stupid smile. I love him your honour. He’s just,, he’s just so frickin stewpeed, just Thor being Thor, just the purest of d*mbest of *sses. 

#listen #if people can interpret loki and the grandmaster as a thing when loki spends the entire time looking uncomfortable about every situation #then i can interpret thor as flirting with people when there are actual canon questions which get solved when other explanations dont work #so #dont mind me here #in conclusion: thor is a dum dum idiot and it's *chef's kiss* #thank you for coming to my ted talk #ThisPostIsLongerThanMyLifeSpan #TPILTMLS #Language! #language #im one of those people who comments on things through movies but you can't be mad because it's worth it and i've got points #obviously writing means i can get the full gist of the comments out without summarizing #but #like #my family is simply underappreciative and i'm a genius

[haechanokeh]

I'm Right For You [pt.2 ]

[teaser/ prologue] [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ]

(you can play Die For You by The Weeknd while reading this 😌)

pairing: popular college! mark x average! reader

genre: romance, smut, angst, series.

warning (chapter): handjob, public, fingering,

warning: corruption, oral sex (both receiving and giving), cream pie, rough sex, anal sex, mention of religion, rough sex, self-esteem, psychology, public sex, sub! reader, sex toys. possessive mark two-faced mark

I think I'm right for you, babe. You know what I'm thinking, see it in your eyes. You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry. It ain't workin' 'cause you're perfect and I know that you're worth it I can't walk away. (Die for you by The Weeknd)

class ended and you're packing your things, and so your seatmate for today- mark.

"mark, do you want to eat with us?" your other classmates always invite mark.

"sure, wait. Do you want to eat with-"

you carry your bag and immediately left the room. he's the last person you want to be with, after what happened yesterday. mark confessed that he likes you and now you just can't talk to him.

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you're in the library trying to be "productive" and pretending to be "studious". you tied your hair, hyping yourself that you will study but 3 minutes after opening your thick pharmacology book, you took a nap.

mark entered the almost empty library. there's a lot of vacant tables and chairs but he's looking for the best spot, until he saw your sleeping face... from a far. mark has a keen eyes, especially when it comes to you. he walked towards your place and carefully sat beside you cautious in his movements to prevent waking you up. he put his bag on the vacant seat beside him and turned his head on you. you're squished side of your face against the table made him smile. lying at his classmates is worth it.

unaware of your surrounding, you didn't know mark was now sitting beside you. he saw your book was opened in diuretics chapter so he opened his own book at the same page as yours. he started writing notes, for you.

mark likes you but he's having a hard time to get close to you. not sure but he thinks that you're avoiding him, you immediately dismisses his presence when he's approaching you. you weren't rude when you do that though, you just speak very shortly with him. mark doesn't have a concrete reason why he likes you, but everytime he looks at your serine personally and your innocent face t brings him calmness. sometimes he just catching himself staring at you during class.

after he wrote the key points, he transferred all the sticky notes on the pad. he clicked the pen and look at you.

"you're still sleeping, wow." he whispered but with amusement. you're sleeping for 2 hours already. his eyes landed on your slightly parted plump lips.

dirty thoughts running in his head. he imagined your lips wrapped around his dick. yeah, the mark everyone look up to thinks like this towards you. he's not like this to anyone except you, he was also shock to on the effects you give him. mark was afraid you became an obsession, well too late for that.

he removed your specs, folded it and put it on the top of the table. he just watches you sleep, not caring whether other find it creepy.

suddenly your phone alarmed, you woke up immediately and to your panic you can't find your phone which was actually just infront of you, so mark was the one who off your alarm. you turn your head to look at him.

"thank you." you gave him an awkward smile. you look around and you saw from afar the librarian was glaring at you. you gave her an apologetic face and she returned to her seat.

he extended his arms and his thumb touched the side of your lips down to your chin. you felt a burning sensation from his thumb.

"welcome." he gave you his signature warm friendly smile.

you look down because you felt uncomfortable once again. your eyes caught a wet pool on the book, later you realize that mark wiped your drool. heat of embarrassment took over your face.

"let's eat?" he asked, lowering his face and moving it close to you. he wanted you to see his face, which you did. you're heart beating so fucking fast.

"i have to study." you said as an alibi.

"really?" he was unconvinced and playfully gave you a doubt look.

study my ass! I JUST WOKE UP!

"tomorrow is the case study, aren't we supposed to study together?" he sat up straight.

"we already did yes-" suddenly, his confession popped out from your head. "yesterday." you whispered, a ball of saliva almost stuck on your throat.

"really? i really don’t recall anything though.” he pretend to be naive. your eyes widen.

“you can’t remember anything? that’s impossible, you even confess to me... i mean...” shame crossed in you. please, swallow me my dear land. "mark, please let me study. i'm not like you."

he chuckled. "okay, but use my notes. here." he pushed towards you the notes he did while you were sleeping. your eyes gleamed like a sun.

"really?" you said excitedly.

"shhh!" you heard the librarian, you covered your mouth.

"really?" you asked again as confirmation. he giggled and nodded his head.

he admiringly stared at you goshing over his notes, he felt a weird sensation in his heart. mark was smiling like an idiot, this was his first time to see you smiling or happy when he’s around.

"thank you mark for saving me." you definitely forget the awkwardness between you. you looked at him sending him gratitude look.

without any words, you excitedly study his note. you're so oblivious that you didn't notice mark placed his hand on your thigh. horniness strike him.

your concentration broke when he squeezed your thigh. you turned your head to face him, there was uneasiness in your stomach when you face him again. the other mark that melt your knees.

he moved his face closer and whispered in your ears.

"y/n, i had a hard time sleeping last night. you know why?"

"why?" voice shaking and hands are sweaty while you're holding his notes.

"you never left my head, you kept on bothering me. i fantasize you last night, crying and begging to suck my dick with your small mouth and juicy lips." he huskily said and gripped your thigh tighter.

you squeezed your thighs together as you felt ache on your pussy. your breathing became ragged, chest rose heavily. you stare in those dark-lustful pair of eyes.

"i was horny last night, like what i'm feeling right now." his eyes glued in your lips.

he reached for your right hand and guided it to his hard cock. you gasped, and in surprise you take away your hand from his hardness but mark caught you and put it back.

"can you feel how hard i am right now? do you know how painful is it for me?" he grunted low. his lips touches your every time he speaks. "i need your help, y/n please." there was urgency in his voice.

"h-ow?" stuttering because of nervousness but with hidden excitement.

you heard a zipped sound. you look down and his hard flesh peeking through his boxers. he pulled it down revealing his standing cock. you almost drool, it's thick, veiny, and long. he planted a small kiss on your ears and folded your hands wrapping it around his dick. your lips parted letting out a breath.

his dick was hot, hard, and has a lot of texture- you can feel his vein. you don't believe that when a guy's hands are veiny, and so their cock... but mark is the living statement.

"move." he commanded. you pushed down your palm around his cock, and start pumping it slowly.

"like this?" you asked innocently.

mark saw your submissive look again, doll-like eyes shinning with innocence but full of lust.

"yes, baby. fuck faster, you're doing great." he complimented you, teeth gritting. he put his left arm across your shoulder and his other arm resting on the table.

both of you didn't care whether you're about to get caught or not. you enjoy the playful desires you share with each other. he smashed his lips to your soft lips. tongue caressing each other but careful not to produce noises. you're pumping him hard and fast, you felt cramp in your wrist but didn't stop. his hands formed into fist, knuckled getting white.

he moaned inside your mouth when he reach his climax. you felt the hot sticky liquid on your hands. you broke the kiss and look down to see what does it look like to have his cum on your hand. your eyes looked up and gaze into his eyes, he saw guilt, regret, and shame.

“what am i doing mark?” you bit your lower lip and your eyes watering. you know this is wrong, but when you’re with him all the rationality in you just evaporates. you became terrified of what you became and what you will have become. “what are you turning me into?”

mark was satisfied when he heard that coming out from your mouth, that means he has effect to you. he knew, because he felt the same from you.

“same goes to me, y/n. don’t you get it there’s something bet-” he was cut off when there were tiny voices. both of you turned your head towards the library entrance and there were bunch of seniors coming in. mark quickly zipped his pants and you wipe his cum on his black sweatshirt. you both looked at each other, you just realize what you did.

“i’m sorry.” you whispered and shoved your head against the book. he snickered on your cuteness and clumsiness.

“hey mark.” you froze when the girl seniors approached mark. you stay still, face against the book.

“oh, hi.” he greeted back, giving them a forced smile.

“i saw them on the pizza house, i thought you’re there? i was about to go. good thing you’re here.” she said and you heard some chairs being pulled out.

I need to go fudge, this is probably why i don’t like mark, he’s surrounded by people. knowing you, you’re allergic to people.

you stood up and gather your things.

“where are you going?” mark asked in curiosity and confusion while watching you.

“hmm?” you look at him and carried your back and book. the seniors were staring at you too. “oh, my mom said i have to go for groceries, heheeh empty fridge.” you LIED again. his brow rose.

he was looking at you but not in your face though and you have no time to pay attention to that.

“again? yesterday you went-” you did not let him finish.

“i have to go bye!”

“SHHH!” 

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you couldn't ignore your wetness beneath you. you were having a hard time walking because of the weird feeling and you felt discomfort on your abdomen part. obviously, you're horny and you knew that. you quickly turned to the right corner to use the girl's comfort room. you masturbate especially everytime you watch porn, and you badly need to masturbate right now without watching porn. you entered one of the cubicle and when you were about to close it, a hand appeared stopping the door.

mark?

he stepped inside the cubicle which made you step back , the behind of your knees touched the toilet seat. you heard and clicked sound, he closed the door.

“wait, weren’t you...” you were speechless as you point your finger outside but you were actually pertaining to the library.

why the hell is he everywhere? does he have roller blades on his feet?

"i can smell you." he said looking down, you were curious of what he was looking at but you were offended from his statement.

"excuse me?" you scoffed.

"you were standing infront of me before you leave me, too close and i'm not sure if that's the smell because it was my first time but..." he gaze straight into your eyes. he palmed your pussy which made you yelp. "it was sweet and erotic, are you horny right now?"

you gulped in embarrassment, you want to be swallowed whole by the soil. you were that wet from giving him a handjob!

"were you planning to masturbate?" his eyes switched into dark and dominating. you wonder, how can he guess everything right?

his palmed between your legs made it hard for you to control your desire. you grabbed his wrist.

"i need to cum." you gave him your pleading eyes.

your pleading sweet voice and eyes, and the way you say the word cum went straight into his dick. he never expected that word to come out from your mouth. when it did, he want to grant you.

"you're so special." he whispered. he unzipped your jeans and pulled it down above your knees which slightly made him annoyed because it was hard to pull it down. he gave your dump panty and glance because he can smell it, it wasn't a bad smell it was the opposite. it was sweet, very aromatic.

you just watch him while holding on his shoulder for balance. he stood up straight. you where biting your lips while staring at his handsome face through your lashes.

"mark..." you murmur as you were growing impatient. mark chuckled.

"okay, baby." he called you baby, and your heart lifted... and so as your right leg using his left arm. he hang your leg on his arm.

"what are you doing?" he didn't answer you.

he palmed your already sticky and wet pussy which made you bite your lower lip. he rubbed it in circular motion, you suppressed your moan because goodness it feels so good but you're afraid someone will hear you. he pulled your panty aside and rubbed your slit and clit, hard but slowly. your eyes were squeezing shut and enjoy the feeling. his lips pay attention on your jaw.

"mark, i want to cu- go. please." you whimpered.

he inserted his two finger and started to thrust it inside you while his thumb were flatly rubbing your clit.

"ah... hmmm" you couldn't suppress your moan anymore. "it feels so good." you cried and throw your head back gripping mark shoulder.

mark switched his attention from your jaw to your neck, licking and kissing it. he started to fasten the pace. your were producing a squelching sound.

"please, please, please i need to cum... oh f- yes yes." your eyes rolled back, you almost saw your brains. your legs felt tension causing your leg being lifted to flex straight, toes folded.

"are you cumming now, y/n? hmm?" he said against your neck. you nodded aggressively.

"i'm so close, so close" you were mewling. "ahh!" you clenched mark's fingers and produced a long cry when you finally reached your climax.

you became weak, your limbs became jelly. you were about to fall, good thing mark catched you before that happened. your arms have no energy to hold onto mark.

"are you okay?" mark genuinely asked. "did i overdo it?" growing concern feed him.

you shook your head, head empty, and catching your breath. you have low stamina, this already made you almost pass out? what more if he fuck you?

you shook your heard want to remove those perverted thoughts, and why the hell you thought of mark?

"seat down y/n." he made you seat on the toilet. suddenly, your phone rang. mark, without hesitation looked for your phone inside your bag. he looked at the name. "your mom." he cleared his throught and was about to answer but you quickly snatched it.

there's no way you want your mom to hear a male voice.

"mom?" you answered through your heavy breathing.

"y/n? why are you panting? are you okay?"

"ah, y-yes. i just ran from ahm nevermind i just ran that's it. why are you calling me?" mark intently watching you.

"oh, i forgot a file in our house, it's on top of my table, bring it here, okay?" she asked for your favor.

"yes." you sighed. your mom always forget something.

"okay, love you!" and she hang up.

you stood up. you look down as you felt your stickiness between your legs. you just pulled up your underware and pants.

"i need to go home, i'll go out first and make sure the coat is clear then you'll go out. okay?" you were still panting, catching your breath.

"i can drive you home." he said. there goes again, the warmth in his eyes. you were staring each other, mark looked so determined.

"promise me you will not do anything. i have no energy, mark." you sighed in defeat.

he laughed and pinched your cheek.

"sure." he said, smiling but deep inside he was disappointed. might not be visible because his sweatshirt was covering it, but he is painfully hard right now.

#nct 127 #mark lee fanfic #mark lee angst #mark lee imagines #mark lee nct #mark lee scenarios #nct #nct 127 smut #nct imagines #nct mark #mark nct #nct scenarios #nct dream #nct smut #nct dream angst #nct dream smut #nct dream imagines #mark lee smut #mark lee imagine #mark lee #mark lee scenario

[butwhyduh]

If you're doing the writing prompts then could you do a dick grayson x reader for 'Betrayal by a lover to the enemy' but it isn't actual betrayal and she's just going undercover?

Warning: cursing, alludes to sexual activity, angst.

You ran as fast as you could on the rafters of the building. If you could just get to the window, you could escape. If luck was on your side, you could leave before Dick ever saw you. Batman, Robin, and Nightwing were fighting thugs down low. Your legs and lungs burned as you moved.

But you weren’t lucky. Far from.

You were yards from the edge when you were yanked to the foot path on your stomach. You groaned and tried to scramble away. Instead you were roughly flipped. Nightwing pinned you down and you struggled to free yourself.

It was all but useless. His legs were on either side of your legs holding them down. Dick’s hands grabbed your wrists and pushed them above your head to the concrete floor. You yelped in pain and wiggled and strained.

“You can’t get away. You’ve been working for Deathstroke. It’s time you get put away,” he said shifting your hold both wrists in one hand. You gasped and shook your head as he moved his hand down to your domino mask.

“No,” you moaned, trying your best to shake him off. It was no use. He was much larger, stronger, and, frankly, madder than you were. You knew you were going to have bruises on your wrist from his tight grip. He was going to know your identity.

Dick peeled the mask off and gasped. He froze but his grip never lessened. His eyes widened and his brow creased in confusion followed by pain. Your lips parted to speak but nothing came out.

“You? No...,” he said completely shocked. “Can’t be. Why... why would you hurt me?”

You had cut him shallowly a few weeks earlier because he got too close. You hated yourself for it but he hadn’t needed any stitches or anything. But at this moment, he probably meant the other pain you had caused, betrayal.

You closed your eyes and looked away. You couldn’t tell him. There was too much on the line. This mission was too secret. Not even Batman knew.

Dick stroked the side of your face and you quickly turned to look at him. “I loved you and you hurt me,” he said and the grip on your wrists tightened. You whimpered.

“You’re hurting me,” you gasped. His grip loosened slightly.

“I can’t believe you. I loved you,” he said and you noted the past tense of his words. This job just lost you your boyfriend. You clenched your jaw to stop from crying. It wouldn’t help anything to speak when you couldn’t say the truth.

“I love you,” you couldn’t help but say. Dick turned away and his jaw clenched in anger. His fingers tightened enough to hurt around your wrist. You whimpered.

“Not when you’re working with him,” he said. Dick reached for his pockets and pulled out cuffs, meta cuffs, and cuffed your wrists to the metal bar on the rafter. The use of meta cuffs showed that he had no trust in you any more. You had never shown any powers.

“You don’t understand,” your voice cracked.

“Tell me,” he demanded.

“I- I can’t,” you said, feeling defeated. Dick nodded roughly.

“Enjoy prison. Blackgate is nice this time of year,” Dick said but his usual quip sounded more angry. There was malice and pain in his voice and his eyes looked at you through rage.

“No,” you whispered. You pulled on the cuffs but knew it wasn’t going to help. They could tie up Superman if they needed to.

Dick climbed off of you and stood above you. You could see why Nightwing was an imposing looking hero now. There was no love, no happiness in his face. You were never going to get that back. You yanked at the cuffs with tears coming down your face.

“Don’t bother. GCPD will take care of you,” Dick said coldly.

“Dick, please,” you whimpered. “Please let me go. Please.”

He stared at you with his jaw clenched and face screwed up for a second before flipping off the rafters. You breathed a quick “no” before feeling terribly alone.

It was about a half hour later that police made it up to arrest you. They roughly shoved you in a cop car and to jail. You were placed in general population for 2 hours before finally getting pulled out. You were brought into a private room with the head in charge of the mission.

“What the hell? You make me go to the warehouse and get arrested? You knew they were there. I was identified by Nightwing,” you said bitterly. The officer shrugged.

“Get better at hiding your identity. You made bail and got out,” he said with a shrug. “Your mission is fine. Complete it and you can go back to a normal life.”

“No. I quit. I could have died. What if it was Red Hood and not Nightwing? I could have been shot,” you said furious.

“Sure. Your information might accidentally get leaked to the press is the only issue. And that might get you killed. You know? By Deathstroke,” he said nastily. Your mouth gaped. You were being blackmailed by the police. You understood why people said the police were worse than criminals. You thought they were the same.

“That’s what I thought,” he said with a satisfied sneer. “Get the fuck to a safe house tonight. And get the information on Deathstroke or you might end up dead. Also.... don’t get arrested by a dude in tights. It’s a shit ton of paperwork. Get the fuck out.”

He motioned to the door and you left. It was useless to argue. You should have compromised the mission. Dick should know. You should have told him. But the police would definitely snitch and you’d be on Deathstroke’s kill list and he didn’t get that name for nothing.

You scampered to your safe house where you changed and cried in the shower. You noticed small little bruises around your wrist from Dick and the cuffs. You wanted to call him, tell him what happened but Dick would have found you that way. And you weren’t sure he would believe you and might arrest you again.

Over the next 48 hours, you saw very little. They were worried that you were a snitch since being arrest. But GCPD didn’t seem to care. You got an angry text.

If you don’t have anything new within 24 hours, count your protection as cancelled.

You gulped as you read it. You didn’t want in this anyways. You’d have to be more dangerous, take more risks. It was truly going to be bad.

“Can I come?” You blurted. Deathstroke looked you over and you shivered. His helmet gave away nothing of his thoughts.

“Why?”

“I- I want to learn more. How to be better,” you said.

“You have your training,” he said dismissively.

“But can I come?” You asked. You were wanting to die, hu? No one questioned him. He turned completely back to face you.

“Fine. Clean up duty,” Deathstroke said. You nodded quickly but your heart sank. Clean up duty was usually helping to cut up and burn the bodies and you had been lucky to stay far away from that.

And that’s how you ended up, once again, in the rafters of the same building you have been caught by Dick only 3 days before. You weren’t a superstitious person but this felt bad. Deathstroke was somewhere else waiting for his target. You were watching and reporting. To Deathstroke and GCPD.

You sighted the target. But another worker was with him so Deathstroke didn’t take a shot. This target was a nasty guy. His ex wife’s boyfriend put out the hit and from what you read, you couldn’t blame him. Harassed the wife, hit the kid, and had a domestic violence rap sheet that was long. This guy liked to hit women and children.

As you lay on your stomach on the rafter, you felt a slight movement.

“I guess you like your job?” Dick said. You slowly turned. Your taser was in your hand. “But you didn’t learn your lesson.”

“Are you going to arrest me again,” you said feeling frozen. His jaw clenched again before he shook his head no.

“I should. Why do you do it? Money?” Dick said walking closer. You scrambled to your feet. Your taser was held tight in hand and you slowly backed away with every step he made towards you.

“It’s complicated,” you answered.

“Uncomplicate it. I’d like to know why the woman who slept in my fucking bed was working for my enemy.” He was white hot with rage. Dick sometimes had anger issues he took out on the bad guys he took down. He’d never done anything like that to you. But you weren’t his sweet girlfriend anymore. And his face was terrifying.

“I-“ you wavered on your resolve to the mission. Maybe he could help you.

“You what?” Dick asked and you felt cold metal of the end of the rafters against your ass. Your breathing was erratic.

“I’m-“ you started before pulling out your comms and smashing it in the ground. Dick’s eyebrows rose. “GCPD is blackmailing me. If I don’t get info on Deathstroke, they’ll release my files. He’ll kill me,” you said hanging your head in shame.

Dick froze. Despite his rage, he still loved you. He searched your face for a sign of lying but found none. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you. Got you out. Goddamn it! I have so many connections. You didn’t trust me?” He finished with a realization. Dick looked over at you with a sad frown.

“I know your work is your life. I just... I just didn’t know. Dick, I fucked up,” you said miserably walking towards him. The distance felt so far away. He started backing away this time. “I love you.”

“Don’t,” Dick said and you stopped. Enough people had stolen his consent. You weren’t going to. “I can help you. But this,” he motioned between you both. “I don’t know.”

“Dick,” you whispered, half a second from crying. He shook his head and another step back. A week ago he looked at you so in love and now? He had a stony pained look. It broke your heart. You broke his heart.

——————————

One week ago

Dick lazily drew circles on your back as you laid on him. You both were nude, the air hot with your earlier activities despite being in the middle of a snow storm. You held his other hand in yours and you traced along scars and callouses. His palms had matching ones from swinging on a bar. He’d had those his whole life. The thumb had a ridge from training and using escrima sticks. An old divoted scar on the meat of his palm was from when he was a kid in the circus and tried to swing on an old swing set without checking it first. 7 stitches and weeks out of duty.

There was a healing cut along the backside of his hand that intersected multiple silvery healed scars. You touched along those, careful to avoid anything fresh. Dick looked down at you as you gently caressed his scars.

“What are you looking at, baby,” he said. His voice was rough with sleep. You were putting him to sleep.

“How much you’ve been through,” you said simply. He turned his head to look at your face better. “So rough but so kind.”

Dick smiled at that one and moved his hand to hold your cheek. He ran his thumb along your cheek and you leaned into his touch. “You’re thinking pretty deep, sweetheart. Penny for your thoughts?”

“I just love you,” you said, gazing into his eyes. Dick’s smile grew and he gave you a soft kiss.

“I love you too.”

It was soft, simple, kind. And to remind you that you were far from free, your phone rang. Only one person dared to call you at that hour. You climbed out of bed to answer it.

“Hello?”

“North Shore Docks. 2 hours,” came the rough voice before hanging up. You gulped before putting your phone down.

“What was that?” Dick asked.

“Wrong number. It’s nothing,” you said climbing back in bed. If you could get him to fall asleep, you could leave on time. He nodded before pulling you close. His heartbeat was slow and steady. He wasn’t nervous.

It was only 20 minutes later that he got a call. He hung up after a few minutes and turned to you with an apologetic look.

“Batman calls. I answer. I’m so sorry. I’ll make it up to you, okay?” He said. You felt guilt that you were relieved. You wouldn’t have to sneak out.

“What’s going on?”

“Down at the docks is supposed to be a meet up. Deathstroke. I’ve got to go. See if I can stop him. He’s got some new people working for him and maybe I can get some info from them,” Dick said climbing out of bed to pull on his suit. You nodded.

“Be safe. Stay warm,” you told him, knowing you were tipping Deathstroke off about the meeting so hopefully he’d call it off. He didn’t know you were dating Dick, neither did GCPD, but you could have gotten a tip from anywhere.

You stood in front of Dick without bothering to dress. He pulled your body flush against his and kissed you deeply. “I’m sorry, baby. Hopefully I’ll be back soon.”

You nodded and he flipped out of the top window of the loft. You waited 10 minutes before calling Deathstroke back.

“Batman has a tip off about the meeting. He’s coming and bringing friends,” you said. Deathstroke was silent on the phone.

“Meeting is next week. Same location. No batboys.” He hung up.

You peeled back a floorboard in your bedroom floor and pulled out a burner phone. You put the SIMs card in and turned it on. GCPD wanted a report and now was a good time. You called the only number on the phone.

“What?”

“The meeting is cancelled.”

“Why?”

“Deathstroke got spooked. That’s all I know,” you lied. Maybe you were getting too good at lying. He cursed.

“Anything else?”

“No. Not yet. I’ll call you,” you said.

“You fucking better,” he growled. You hung up and turned off the phone, taking out the SIM card and putting it back under the floorboard.

Dick came back 2 hours later. His nose was bright red and he shivered all over. You ran him a shower to warm up and he still cuddled close to you afterwards.

“Nothing. Dead lead,” he said. “Nothing but a fucking snow storm. Could have stayed in bed with my baby.” He pulled you tight to his body in a hug. Your heart clenched in guilt. You were a terrible girlfriend. The barely visible scar on his chest was glaring at you. At least Dick didn’t fight Deathstroke. “Thank god you aren’t in that life.”

You kissed his lips softly. Guilt. So fucking much. He pulled you on top of him and you had sex. You poured all of your love into it. You wanted him to feel loved because he deserved it, even if you didn’t. You kissed his scars and bruises. You fell asleep entangled with him until late morning as the snow fell all night.

———————————

A week and a 3 days later

Back at the warehouse

Dick didn’t offer any comfort. You had hurt him so badly. But he kept his word. He pretended to knock you out and arrest you. Batman and Deathstroke were fighting down below but both saw him carrying your unconscious cuffed body. Dick carried you to his bike where he placed you on and drove off. He didn’t take you back to your shared apartment. He had changed the locks already and you weren’t welcome there.

He took you to a safe house. Basic and non-descript. He didn’t uncuff you but sat you on a kitchen chair.

“Dick can you,” you asked pulling your arms cuffed behind your back.

“Not right now. Explain and I might,” he said pulling off your mask. He took off his own mask and sat both on the table.

“Dick,” you said softly but he ignored you to sit in a chair. Dick just glared at you. “I had no choice.”

“Besides me. Your boyfriend,” he reminded you.

“I didn’t know how you would react. They threatened me. They threatened you. I was scared. I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you. I know I did. I got in too deep,” you said hanging your head. Dick clenched his fists.

“GCPD threatened you?”

“They said they’d leak the press my secrets. It would be enough for Deathstroke to kill me. They’re right. He would. Kill you too if he thought I shared with you. He doesn’t know who you are. I never told him anything about you,” you said earnestly.

“So not full betrayal,” he said coldly with a dry smile.

“Dick,” you breathed.

“No. Don’t. You don’t get to act like that with me. You know,” he said roughly pulling his suit down his chest before running his finger along a silver mark. Your Mark. “You cut me and left a scar. I guess that’s why you always kiss my scars, hu? Because you helped to make them. I thought about marrying you. And you cut me.”

“Dick... I’m so so sorry. I didn’t want to. I hated it. But if I didn’t...” you said crying at this point. Your hands were starting to tingle from the cuffs.

“Deathstroke would know you weren’t loyal. Guess I’m lucky you didn’t cut my throat,” Dick said. You gasped and sobbed.

“I would never. I love you so much. I promise, it wasn’t what I wanted. Please understand,” you said wetly. He looked away clenching his jaw before sighing deeply.

“We’ll pay off Deathstroke and GCPD will loose all of your info. But I want you the hell out Gotham. I don’t want to see you ever again,” Dick said and you felt your world crumble.

“No,” you whimpered. “Please.”

“Do it or I won’t help you.”

You were shaking and sobbing uncontrollably at this point. Dick could barely look at you. You tried to control yourself before nodding. If you had known. If you had known that single kiss was your last. You would have changed everything.

“Dick. I love you so fucking much,” you pleaded and it was too much. He left the room. It was a full ten minutes before he came back. His face was stony but his nose and eyes were red. He didn’t look you in the eyes.

“Deathstroke won’t bother you. Bruce paid him. And it’s like you never existed in Gotham. Babs made sure of that,” Dick said and you winced. He had gone to his ex to help you. God, what had he told her?

“Thank you,” you said. Your voice was raw from crying and your hands were numb. You tried to move them around. Dick grabbed his keys and de-cuffed you. You moved your fingers and grimaced at the blood returning tingle.

“Stay here tonight and leave tomorrow. I’ll pack up your stuff. I know someone in metropolis that can get you a job and temporary place,” he said all business. You wanted to run into his arms, kiss his face, tell him that you love him. But that wasn’t an option any more.

“You’re a good guy. Helping me. I don’t deserve it but you’ve been nothing but good to me. I hope I can make it up to you someday,” you said quietly. He closed his eyes for a second before nodding. Dick had his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched, protecting himself.

“I’ve got to go. I can’t stay here,” he said after a minute. He couldn’t stand to be in the same room as you. A week ago, the look on your face would have had him doing anything to make it go away. Today he caused it. He couldn’t handle it.

“I’m sorry. Be careful in the weather,” you said unsure what to say. It was too late. Far too late.

————————————

The morning before Dick caught you

Your apartment

“Morning, baby,” you said, running a finger along the bridge of Dick’s nose. He mumbled and moved a little before opening his eyes with a smile. He caught your hand before you could touch his face again.

“What are you doing there, sweetheart,” he said and you giggled a little.

“Bothering my man. He’s too pretty to let sleep,” you said pulling him closer.

“Hmm, haven’t you heard of beauty sleep? We were up half the night and you want to wake me up. What if I’m tired,” Dick said. There was a glimmer in his eyes.

“I wore out Nightwing? That’s something to be quite proud of,” you said grinning. He chuckled.

“Well it isn’t every night that we do all that. Something got into you and I’m not complaining,” he said kissing your cheek.

“I think it was you. Four times,” you said with a smirk. He definitely chuckled at that. Dick looked over at the clock.

“Shit. I’m late. I guess it’s good you woke me. I should have been at work an hour ago. I’ll have to blame the storm,” he said trying to get up. You wrapped your legs around his waist.

“What if I won’t let you go?”

“I’d probably be fired and be a little sad,” Dick said playfully. He held your jaw and gave you a lingering kiss. “So I have to go. But I’ll make it up to you tonight.”

“Counting on it,” you said finally releasing him. He threw on his uniform and left. You stretched in bed, ready to lounge the day away when your phone rang. It could have been anyone but your heart clenched. You know who it was.

“North Shore Docks. Tonight. 2300. Be early,” Deathstroke said.

“I can’t,” you said. It was way too early. That was only 11 o’clock. Dick would definitely miss your presence.

“.... if you aren’t up to task then you can be replaced. Do you want to be replaced?” He asked. You had a nasty feeling replaced meant murdered.

“No.... I- I can make it,” you said.

“Good,” he said hanging up.

You wracked your brain with what to say. What to do. You couldn’t just leave at 10:30 at night. Dick would flip out. You had to lie to him again. A friend was in town.

“Hey Dickie,” you said giving him a call at work. He was always half distracted when you called him there.

“Hi sweetheart,” he answered and you heard a keyboard clacking.

“A friend came into town so I offered to take her out,” you said.

“It’s supposed to snow pretty bad. Just invite her over,” Dick said. Shit, that was a good point.

“She’s staying at the Grand Mariners Hotel. We’re just hitting the hotel bar and then her room,” you said. It was a nice hotel in the Diamond District that was plenty safe. “I’ll stay over with her if it’s bad enough.”

“Okay. Be safe. Call me if you need anything. Love you,” Dick said.

“Love you too,” you answered. You didn’t know it was the last thing you’d say before he found your betrayal. The last lie too.

2 years later

Metropolis

You thought about Dick Grayson all the time. You hadn’t come back to Gotham since. But you tried to move on. Even tried dating that failed horribly. Who could compare to Nightwing?

You walked downtown. You worked for the paper as an assistant. You got coffee and changed the printer paper. You’d made friends with the other office assistant who was a local of Metropolis.

Besides the fact you lost the love of your life, Metropolis was nice. Crime was much lower, it snowed and rained way less, and your apartment building had a pretty nice coffee shop across the street. Deathstroke and the Joker didn’t make news. No more Batman and Robin. People weren’t instantly distrustful. There were billboards with pictures of Superman saying things like “safest city in America” and “rated best family friendly city 3rd year in a row.” You had to change your attitude and walking habits because you were too scary for the friendly city. It was the Gotham way.

Today you were in a hurry. Your skirt whipped in the wind and a piece of hair stuck to your lip gloss. Your heels made obvious clacking sounds as you overtook others on the sidewalk. You got a lot of looks. Who runs like that? Especially with coffee in their hands?

You practically jumped out of the way as a dog got in your way. This pushed you right into a man walking the opposite way. Your coffee, thank god it was iced, smashed directly into the crisp white dress shirt on his firm chest.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you gasped. You tried to swipe off the icy pieces that clung to his shirt.

“It’s okay,” he said grabbing your wrist. You looked up and almost dropped your bag. It was Dick. He looked good. A little taller maybe, his hair a little longer. You gulped.

“Dick,” you said softly. You didn’t dare say anything else. He stared at you back. “What are you- what brings you to Metropolis?”

“I’ve got a job for Bruce. You look good. I didn’t expect you to stay here,” he said rambling. You didn’t know where to look. At his chest covered in coffee with a now see through shirt that clung to every defined muscle. Or his face that you weren’t sure even wanted to see you.

“Well, I liked the job,” you almost whispered. Your voice betrayed your fear. Dick smiled a little.

“Good. That’s good. We should talk,” he said and your eyebrows rose.

“We should?”

“Yeah. Can I buy you a drink later? Tonight?” Dick asked. You could only nod yes. You were terrified. Clearly you were still in love with him.

—————

You fretted with the hem of your skirt on the cab ride to meet him at his hotel bar. Wayne Enterprise owned half share of it. The last time you saw Dick he told you that he never wanted to see you again. He sat at a table in the corner with a great view of every door. You smiled shyly as you walked over.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” he said motioning to the open chair. You sat down and fiddled with your bag before looking up. You were stalling.

“How is Gotham,” you asked, regretting it instantly. It’s a shit hole.

“Bad. But not out of the ordinary. I thought about calling you. A lot,” Dick admitted. He gulped before continuing. “I overreacted. I shouldn’t have banished you. Hell, I shouldn’t have been allowed to. You were- you thought you were protecting me in your own weird fucked up way.”

“I was wrong. You were mad and you should have been....And Metropolis is nice. Low on assassins and freaks,” you said and he nodded in agreement. “I missed you though,” you blurted out. You probably shouldn’t have said that. Dick’s eyes softened and he looked at you.

“I missed you too. A lot. I- I wanted to see you. But I didn’t know how to talk to you and the Titans got busy,” he said.

“I heard. You guys did some good work,” you said, admitting you followed Nightwing’s career at the least. The truth was that you stalked his admittedly quiet Instagram and any Nightwing news despite yourself. You had to search it out. Metropolis had Superman and didn’t care much for the Titans doing work in another state.

“Thanks. Yeah. I- can I take you out? On a date?” He asked suddenly.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, why- what? Why are you smiling?” Dick asked feeling lost.

“Dick, we’re at a restaurant right now,” you teased. Your heart felt a little warm despite the fact that you should definitely be cautious.

“Right. I mean, a proper date. Or whatever,” he said. It was weird to see Dick look nervous.

“Of course. Always. But I’ve got to ask why,” you said and he grinned before registering your question. “I betrayed you, Dick.”

His smile fell a little. “I know. I know. But I’ve made some mistakes too. Let myself fall into the grey between black and white. I’d tell you about it some other time but I’ve come to learn that it’s not easy. Not always good and bad. And if I can’t get you out of my head 2 years later.... it must mean something, right?” He sounded a little desperate. Like he was holding on to this idea of love.

“I’d like to think so,” you answered quietly. He offered a shy smile.

“How about we start over? Can I hold your hand?” He asked and you nodded. His fingers slowly slid over to yours he softly gripped your hand and you both smiled.

You were both a little scared. Could this work? Things were not the same. But there could be 2 little broken birds holding hands full of hope. Maybe it could. Maybe it could work.

#fns #dick Grayson #dick Grayson x reader #dick grayson fluff #dick grayson smut #dick grayson angst #nightwing x reader #nightwing x y/n #nightwing #nightwing angst #batboys x reader #dc

[2-cute-4-school]

𝘕𝘊𝘛 𝘋𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 : 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴

M.list 

Genre : fluffy comedy

Trigger warning : swearing, suggestive teenage jokes??

Word count : 1.4K words

Mark Lee

swears for sure, loud and proud

“fUCK”

“Mark, there are kids around!”

chenji snickering in the background

“oh jeez, y/n, thank you for your worry, my dear, I’m fine it’s not like you left me without heirs”

“your watermelons are in the kitchen tho”

(╬ಠ益ಠ)

he sulks in a corner for the next half an hour until you come up to him and cuddle up to his side, nuzzling your head in his shoulder as you smile up at him with puppy eyes

“come on, baby, you know i didn’t mean to hurt you” (๑◕︵◕๑)

mark groans, knowing he couldn’t stand that cute face of yours

“it still hurt” that pout of his hURTS

your smile turns smug as you lay a teasing hand on his upper thigh

“want me to kiss it better?” (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

（＊〇□〇）…. ！

“Y/N NO-” *cultural shock*

he wouldn’t say no later after everyone else went to sleep oops ◑.◑

Huang Renjun

4 words

scared for your life

i mean he’s cute but he also wouldn’t hesitate to kill (҂⌣̀_⌣́)

so you take your chance while he’s still doubled over, covering his friend

“okay so it’s been a pleasure but now i gOTTA GO bYE-” (*/∇＼*)

you don’t even get to step outta the door

he locks you in a headlock quite gently since you’re still his baby and drags you back inside

“prepare a nice coffin” “hyuck you’re not helping-!!”

renjun just rolls his eyes and shoots haechan THAT look

haechan’s future grandchildren just felt a shiver run up their spines

n e way renjun just *leads* the way to his room and closes the door after you

and that’s the last anyone has ever seen of you (⌣_⌣”)

*jk jk* kinda

but as soon as he releases you, puppy eyes kick in as you turn around and cling onto his shirt, a pout painted on your already ⁞ ✪ ⌂ ✪ ⁞ face

but renjun just chuckles and ruffles your hair fondly

so you’re like “hUH, do i get to live another day?”

“you’re so cute, baby”

you let out a relieved breath, until his face darkens (╬☉д⊙)⊰⊹ฺ

“but if there’s a next time, I won’t hesitate to end you”

ゞ◎Д◎ヾ “yes sir”

Lee Jeno

you stare at him with wide eyes as he slides onto his knees, head bowed as he holds his private thingies

you sputter once you realize where your knee landed and extend your hands towards him shakily

“J-Jeno, are you alright... ?”

he raises his head and look you in the eyes with that sweet eye-smile of his that could melt anyone

“i’m gonna die” (　◠ ◡ ◠　)

“oh my God” ฅ=͟͟͞͞((꒪∆꒪;)ฅ

so now you’re left scrambling around like a headless chicken

and jeno just watched you somewhat amused, forgetting all about his pain until you grip your phone in your hand

“i’m calling for an ambulance”

“Y/N NO WAIT STOP” ( ꒪Д꒪)ノ

and now you’re wrestling over the phone as he tried to snatch it out of your hand and you try to take it back

“why the hell would you call the ambuance?!”

“you’re hurt!!”

“and what are you gonna tell them??”

“that i frickin smashed my boyfriend’s dick!!!”

cue jeno reddening more than it should be humanly possible (๑꒪⍘꒪๑)

“y/n that sounded so wrong, i’m never scaring you like this again”

Lee Haechan

so we all know he’s a drama queen

so he will surely dramatically fall to his knees and whine

ofc when you see his glistening eyes you crouch beside him and start fretting because come on, who can resist baby hyuck

but while you coddle him, you catch a glimpse of his smug smile

oh so you think you’re slick hyuck? think twice (stan twice)

so you muster the most innocent voice you can come up with

“oh no, baby, i’m so sorry!!”

“is this how you show your love for me?!?!” (ᗒᗩᗕ)՞

“i’m so so sorry, let me try that deep tissue massage i learned, maybe it’ll help” *deep tissue massages hurt like a bitch*

his face suddenly turns scared as it should-

“wait wait no-” (‘﹏*๑)

“we should ice it afterwards!!”

his soul surely left his body

“y/n wait please, i was just-”

“actually, mark taught me about that message so i should ask him to do it for you, right?....hyuck?”

soulless starring into a painfully embarrassing abyss of deep tissue massages and ice on his bruised di-

“i’d rather cut it off”

“it can be done” (￣ω￣)

Na Jaemin

he loves you

but he also loves his future children

who are crying right now  

“i know i said jisung is my child already, but i’d still like to have my own you know” (x_x☆

“i said i’m sorry, don’t be dramatic now”

*GASP* “YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT ME!!”

you rolled your eyes so far back that they greeted your lonely last braincell

“is it that obvious?”

*GASP*x2 “i knew it!! i have been raising a bunch of hooligans all this time!!!”

*cue dramatic crying*  (੭ ˃̣̣̥ ㅂ˂̣̣̥)੭ु

but since he’s just too cute for anyone to resist, you cuddle and spoil him for the rest of the day

he feels that it is only fair to receive hugs and kisses on demand since you ‘put him through so much suffering’ (his words not yours)

and because you love him too much for your own good you give him whatever he wants

that’s how you ended up curled on the couch, limbs entangled with Jaemin’s and him nuzzling lovingly into you

“give me a kiss”

you roll your eyes *smooch*

“tell me how much you love me”

you roll your eyes x2 “sooo much, jaemin, so much”

“only that much?”

“careful or my elbow might slip again” (;¬_¬)

“sorry sorry” (′ʘ⌄ʘ‵)

Zhong Chenle

he tries to play it off pt.1

because this baby is trying to seem less baby and show of his manly side to you ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ᕤ

but of course he’s still baby

so he straightens up as fast as he can and continues on with his business, trying to keep a straight face despite the obvious discomfort

“babe, i’m so sorry- “

“it’s alright, it didn’t even hurt”

you raised an eyebrow once you saw his clenched jaw, realizing what he was trying to do

“oh it didn’t?”

“nope, not at all”

“oh then next time i’ll make sure to not hold back”

“huh? next time?” ⊙﹏⊙

“well it’ll probably happen since i won’t have to be careful because it clearly doesn’t hurt”

he laughed awkwardly, turning to face you

“now now, y/n, let’s not get ahead of ourselves haha”

“come on, baby, hiding your hurt from me doesn’t make you any higher in my eyes. come here”

you cupped his face in your hands, squeezing his cheeks cutely as he stared in your eyes with a pout, his hands sneaking around your waist

“but i’m only your baby, alright?”

“that’s right, and the cutest one at that”

*beep* *cue wide eyed jisung giggling from behind his recording phone*

“yAH PARK JISUNG, YOU BRAT, COME HERE OR I’LL CUT OFF YOUR PINKY SIZED WILLY!!!”  (ﾉꐦ ⊙曲ఠ)ﾉ彡┻━┻

Park Jisung

he tries to play it off pt.2

but mostly because he’s embarrassed

so you trail after his retreating shaky form, face burning from the awkwardly loud shriek he let out once you accidentally hit him while you apologize continuously

“it’s okay, i’m fine, i’m pretty sure that hit numbed it”

“jisung, i’m not sure that’s how it works”

“oh my God, what if it’ll be numb forever? what if my supposedly future spawns are doomed?!” (๑⊙ﾛ⊙๑)

“okay first of all don’t call your future children ‘spawns’, that’s just weird”

“well, i’m sorry, but i think we have a much BIGGER problem right now”

“well, i wouldn’t necessarily say bigger, but- “

jisung.exe has unexpectedly shut down ~ restarting...

“Y/N, IT’S REALLY NOT THE TIME FOR THESE JOKES”

“sorry sorry”

you lay a gentle hand on his back, guiding him to the nearest chair, your eyes and voice as soft as they can get

“maybe you should sit down before you pass out, jisung”

“pass out? nah, no, i’m fine, it’s fine, we’re gonna be fine, i have faith in my buddy, everything’s gonna be JUST fine, oh my God, i think i’ll pass out”  ヽ(;ﾟ;∀;ﾟ; )ﾉ

he calmed down after some kisses and lots of reassurance that his future ‘spawns’ are safe

~requests are always open so don’t hesitate to hit me up with whatever you’d like, a little prompt list here to inspire you just in case~

#nct #nct dream #cznnet #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct angst #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct reactions #nct reader #nct dream reactions #nct imagines #nct dream imagines #nct mark #nct renjun #nct jeno #nct haechan #nct jaemin #nct chenle #nct jisung

[feanorianethicsdepartment]

the last of my thoughts on the homecoming au, the au where maedhros and maglor are taken back to tirion at the end of the war of wrath and proceed to be relentlessly abused by elves more interested in them being ‘normal’ than happy. it’s pretty much exactly as dark as you’d expect from that description, lots of medical/caretaker abuse towards the mentally ill, just a horrible situation in general. one last time, @sunflowersupremes wrote the original au this is an extrapolation from, and @outofangband listened to me blather on about this for ages and contributed lots of ideas of their own. part 1 is here, part 2 is here. this the last part, it isn’t quite as intense as part 2, but it’s a lot more hopeless. also there’s some off-screen torture

on the first post i made about this au, i got some comments to the effect of ‘oh this will only last until person x bails them out’

there were several suggestions - fingon, nerdanel, any of the ainur. it seems like there are a lot of people who’d want to get maedhros and maglor out of this nightmare

seems. these aren’t necessarily my usual interpretations of their characters, but for the purposes of this au i can easily imagine a finrod who already bore a grudge over the whole letting-their-younger-brothers-steal-his-kingdom incident and subsequently heard the version of the nirnaeth where the fëanorians left everyone else to die. he is the only other person in the palace who knew beleriand, and he loathes them so viciously he can barely stand to look at them. they’re lucky he doesn’t do worse

i can easily imagine a nerdanel who was already having trouble processing what her husband and sons did at alqualondë when eärendil and elwing told her every awful thing they’d done since in the span of half an hour. she smashed all their statues, burned all their gifts, and curled up sobbing in a ruined house, wondering why she was such a terrible mother her children grew into demons

and this isn’t long after that, that wound is still fresh. whatever vain hopes she held that the boys she loved were somewhere in there are shattered when she sees them, and they’re talking and laughing just like they did when they were young

like nothing had happened. like nothing had changed. like the monsters had always been waiting patiently for their chance to strike

(they just didn’t want her to see the things they’d become)

i can easily imagine a fingon who is blazingly furious with maedhros over the later kinslayings. he spends most of their only meeting railing at maedhros, and the apologia his caretakers offer up only makes him angrier

so does the fact that maedhros won’t defend himself, won’t even raise his voice. does none of this matter to him? did it ever?

(it does. but maedhros knows what will happen if he yells at his cousin, and he is just so exhausted)

fingon is eventually asked to leave. maedhros’ minders tell him that if he can’t keep his temper around their patient, they’re going to have to cut off contact until maedhros is in a better mental state. fingon snaps that that’s just fine by him, and storms off into the city, trying to hold back his tears

the ainur, now, the ainur would definitely drag them out of the palace and haul them up to the máhanaxar. finarfin’s managed to get as much out of eönwë

what would happen to them after that, eönwë refuses to say. finarfin suspects he doesn’t know, and none of the valar will until they’ve had a chance to actually, like, hold a trial

even so, it becomes pretty obvious to finarfin fairly early on that the noldor simply can’t give the brothers the help they need. it’s plain to see that they’re very unhappy and they’re recovering slowly if at all. whatever the valar decide to do with them, odds are good they’d end up in some permutation of elf afterlife therapy, with well-practiced carers and the family they’ve lost. for their sake, and the sake of the people around them, handing them over to the valar would clearly be the best option

except finarfin doesn’t. he keeps his nephews in his palace, where they break things and make messes and generally give their caretakers constant headaches. when asked why, he always talks about the soul-deep terror on maglor’s face when he asked him not to give them to the valar

he’s not lying about that. but he does have other motives

there’s lots of suppositions in finarfin’s reasoning. there’s every chance the valar would throw them into the deepest depths of mandos until the second music. there’s every chance maedhros would choose to disappear into the woods and never trouble court again

but if the valar do decide to send them to lórien with no limits on their movement, and if maedhros does still harbour nelyafinwë’s political ambitions...

the closest finarfin has gotten to admitting it, even to himself, is saying that the noldor have enough problems right now, they don’t need a succession crisis on top of everything else. sometimes he’ll joke about not wanting maedhros to set up another functionally autonomous military government out in the wilderness

but it’s hard to deny that a maedhros, free to act, with his head screwed on straight, could potentially be the single biggest threat to finarfin’s crown

not that he doesn’t want his nephews to get better! it’s heartrending to see the pain they’re in, he sincerely wants to see them happy

he’d just prefer them to be happy in a way that's... convenient

maedhros and maglor’s contact with the outside world is kept to a strict minimum and heavily monitored when it does happen. they’re only allowed to visit the public parts of the palace when their caretakers know exactly who’s going to be there and if they can be trusted to not make a fuss about the brothers’ presence

it’s all in the interest of keeping the peace, you understand. maedhros’ followers are difficult to handle at the best of times, if they somehow got it into their heads that the last of their lords were being held captive in the palace...

well, finarfin says over tea. maitimo can see the wisdom in not provoking a civil war, can he not?

(he will not bring death to the blessed realm again. not even if his last baby brother is rotting away to a shell, not even if he’s being smothered to death from the inside out. he will not, he must not)

(if he did, there would truly be nothing left but the monster)

and then, one day, maglor gets the chance to escape

his minders aren’t paying much attention to him, he’s been a lot quieter since they put the gag on him. he’s small and fast and good at sneaking around, by the time they notice he’s missing he’s already found a way out of the palace

he jumps out of a third-floor window, bites down the pain, and runs. he clears the grounds and disappears into the city

he makes for - he doesn’t know where. subconsciously, he navigates towards the craft guild districts, where his family’s staunchest supporters always were

except the city’s changed a lot since he was last loose in it, and before he knows it, he’s completely lost. he wanders the streets half in a daze, his raw nerves unused to the bustle and noise of it all. wherever he goes, people stop and start and turn away

finally someone calls him over. ‘hey, you want that collar off your neck?’

it’s a smith of some sort, he can tell that much. they’re smiling, welcomingly and without pity. he’s rushing over to them, nodding his head, before he can even think about

the trouble is, maglor doesn’t remember the faces of most of the people he saw in beleriand, but they all remember him

the trouble is, this smith was at sirion

back in the palace, who gets access to the brothers is very strictly controlled. which isn’t to say that nobody tries to hurt them; finrod tends to put the worst spin on things when he’s asked for advice, there’s all kinds of minor acts of sabotage, and they come across innocuous-seeming harmful objects more often than mere chance would seem to allow

but even their caretakers can tell that letting desperate revenge-seekers get near the brothers wouldn’t be particularly conducive to whatever recovery they’re hoping for. anyone who might randomly come across maedhros or maglor in a hallway is intensely vetted for ulterior motives, and while this process isn’t airtight it does filter out the most obviously malicious

and outside of that bubble, none of that applies. the smith does take maglor’s gag off, purely to hear him scream

soon enough, the palace guard tracks him down. they take him back to the palace, where he’s bandaged up and comforted and then, as a special treat, allowed to see his brother

(they’re kept apart more often than not these days. being around maglor makes maedhros agitated, being around maedhros makes maglor sullen. they’re just more cooperative when they’re alone)

maglor does the same thing he’s done every time he’s seen his brother for the past year, which is immediately bury his face in maedhros’ chest and shudder. it takes him a moment to remember he can speak now

‘we’re trapped’ he whispers. ‘we’re trapped’

because he was screaming for what felt like hours, and nobody came to help. as he was being carried back to the palace, he saw the scorn and the disgust in the passers-by’s eyes

there’s nobody who will shelter them outside the palace. there’s nowhere on this continent they can go

and that - that’s the end, in a way. maedhros remains stubborn and ill-tempered, never quite letting them forget he doesn’t want to be here and doesn’t like what they’re doing, but the fight goes out of him. he does what they tell him just as biddably as he did before they took his brother’s voice

maglor, surprisingly, takes a turn for the better. he starts acting cheerful again, doing everything that’s asked of him with a smile and a wink. he’s making excellent progress, his minders tell finarfin

(they don’t tell him what maglor looks like when the mask starts to crack)

finarfin is very pleased to hear that one of his nephews is finally starting to recover! it’s been a long, painful journey, but it looks like it’s all at long last working out

to celebrate, he decides to give maglor a gift he’s been holding onto for a while

he calls maglor into his office. the tension in his posture is a bit worrying, but his expression is all makalaurë, a casual, mildly disrespectful grin. he swans into the room, flounces into a chair, and asks what his uncle wants

finarfin praises him for all the progress he’s been making, and hands him a letter

it’s from elros

the first line is ‘how are you doing, you old bastard?’ it calls him a kinslayer six different ways in the first three paragraphs. it asks him how many people he’s stabbed since he got back. it closes off by wishing him some fun loud arguments with maedhros

finarfin was a little concerned maglor still not might be in the right emotional state for it, but the tightness bleeds out of his nephew’s frame as he reads. a couple of times he even bursts into snickering that sounds more genuine than any sound he makes in court

he finishes reading with a truly relaxed smile on his face. then he freezes, and looks up at finarfin

in a tiny, quiet voice, so unlike the way he talks nowadays, he asks, ‘may i write a reply?’

finarfin hates to take the wind out of his sails, but maglor deserves to know. ‘that letter is centuries old. i’ve been holding onto it until you were ready to read it.’ he shuts his eyes. ‘i’m afraid elros passed some time ago’

maglor’s head drops. the letter in his hands begins to shake. little whimpers escape his trembling body. finarfin walks over, places a hand on his shoulder. ‘i’m sorry, we -’

that’s not whimpering, finarfin realises. those are growls. his nephew’s head snaps up, face twisted with rage

maglor tries to tear finarfin’s face off -

and that’s all i have. these headcanons have been exhausting to write, i’ll clean them up and put them on ao3 in a bit, but not now, if for no other reason than it’s 3am. again. i hope these weren’t too incoherent. going to try to unbanjax my sleep schedule now

#homecoming au #maedhros #maglor #finarfin #fingon #abuse // #mental health issues /// #torture /// #my terrible fic #it is done. at last i am done #this is the most depressing thing i've ever written #i was kind of trying to get it all out in one go #or as close as i could get with how long it turned out #i wrote most of these at ass o'clock in the morning when i really should have been asleep #i'll try to make them less midnight ramble-y for ao3 #gah. i hope the characterisation is at least functional #these feel more disconnected than i'd like but this ain't a story it's a collection of headcanons #brain has nominated my maglor's wife oc for person who could actually get them out #kidnapping one's evil husband for fun and spite! #it's either that or elrond #or they fade first #or maglor attacking finarfin spells the end of everything #... if it does i don't want to write it right now #i've thought about this au too much #please come quick with the serotonin pokemon gold for the 3ds virtual console

[chalkrevelations]

OK, Word of Honor, Episode 9, and I know last time I got deep in the weeds about symbolism, but this week, I’m getting back to basics and rambling on (and on) about what this show is really about: Zhou Zishou and Wen Kexing and their relationship.

First, though, the usual warning: SPOILERS. Not just for this episode, but potentially for the entire show, so drive past and circle back around later if you want to watch all 36.5 eps unspoiled.

Bear with me on this one, because this ep spends a LOT of time on ZZS and WKX, and I think a lot of that time is ZZS making some Monumental Life Decisions, including how he’s going to proceed in this relationship and how he’s going to approach his life moving forward. But I’m finding myself needing to work through it chronologically, and it’s. A Lot. Also, let’s face it, ZZS has been my ride-or-die at least since he dropped to his knees and started disrobing in the middle of the throne room in Ep 1, so a chance to wallow in his emotional journey is a chance I’m gonna take.

So, we do have a brief opener when we find out Dead Guy who the Yueyang disciple was shrieking about at the end of the last ep is Fang Buzhi, AKA the Nine Clawed Fox, the guy who lifted WKX’s (Danyang) Glazed Armor (along with some replicas). He got got by mysterious somebodies in the previous episode, and we find out now that he has three tiny needles in his neck, which ZZS recognizes as a Tian Chuang technique. This leads ZZS to 1) assume it must have been Han Ying who did it, so the (Danyang) Glazed Armor is now in the hands of Tian Chuang, and 2) realize that maybe this is not the best place for the former leader of Tian Chuang to be hanging out right now, so he makes their excuses, because he knows that Gao Chong must be VERY BUSY now that he’s got this corpse on his hands, so they’ll just BE GOING, thanks so much. Gao Chong hopes to see them at the Hero’s Conference, and WKX responds in a Significant Tone that of course he’ll be at the Hero’s Conference, and now ZZS has his Thinky Face on again, because WKX is not nearly as subtle as he seems to think he is when he’s making Pronouncements.

The ZZS/WKX Show really starts kicking into gear that night, at the Getting Lucky Good Luck Inn, where we open on ZZS wandering contemplatively around his room, looking beautiful in the soft light of evening (your FACE, Zhang Zhehan) and ruminating on Prince Jin’s motives for wanting the Glazed Armor, like he’s never met this power-hungry asshole before. Also, he thinks to himself, wtf was that, with Gao Chong keeping anybody from seeing Chengling in the last ep? There’s a knock on the door, which momentarily confuses him - understandably, because as we’ll see, WKX doesn’t generally get the concept of announcing yourself and waiting to be invited in by knocking first, preferring to dramatically bust open doors (at least to ZZS’s bedroom) and grace you with his presence, whatever your thoughts on the matter are. He’s accompanied by waiters and dinner, and ZZS realizes his senses are going, presumably because he can’t smell this spread that WKX has procured in an attempt to prove what a good provider he is (what did I say about food and bonding? ZZS fed him in the market, and now it’s his turn to feed ZZS). WKX tells us that life is just three hots and a cot - which gives away more about your life than you would likely be comfortable with us knowing, Lao Wen, given how close to the vest you’re holding your cards – and that everything else can wait if you can have a meal with someone you like. :coff: (Also, remember this, it will come around again.)

Cut to dinner by flickering candlelight, the better for soft lighting to caress ZZH’s exquisite face, but ZZS isn’t into it at all, staring into space instead of eating WKX’s proffered Courtship Delicacies. This earns what’s possibly WKX’s most hypocritical and amusing comment yet, which is to ask ZZS, “What is it that you can’t tell me?” ZZS - apparently - is still feeling soft about WKX’s help against Tian Chuang’s Chengling-kidnapping attempt - or maybe he’s thinking that a little bit of opening up on his part will soften up WKX - because he hardly has to have a spoon dug into his ribs at all to admit that he’s wondering if it was a mistake to bring Chengling to Five Lakes Alliance. My dude, just steal him back, then. WKX laughs at him and tells him he’s got such a handsome face (true) along with a kind and innocent heart (false, he’s a former government spook and assassin, a part-time ill-tempered gremlin, and a whole-ass troll), and therefore girls will clearly go crazy for him (true, just ask me). ANYWAY, A-Xu, (WKX continues) now that the requisite random no-homo boilerplate is out of the way, are you really thinking of taking on Chengling as a disciple, because now is apparently not too soon to have the adoption conversation about Our Son. I almost expect him to pull out the adoption papers then and there. Instead, he pulls out a story - which is awkwardly placed and kind of clunky, actually, despite being thematically important - of a dog he had once, given to him by Someone Very Important, although of course he’s not going to say who that was (:facepalm:), and his mother warning him that he’d have to take care of it for life, and then he betrayed it.

So, there’s a lot going on here. We’ll eventually find out that ZZS gave Zhen Yan a puppy, so will this story of a gift dog jog ZZS’s memory into realizing that WKX is Zhen Yan without WKX actually telling him, so that WKX can tell his Bundle of Neuroses that it’s not reeeaaallly WKX’s fault ZZS figured it out? Also, WKX sees ZZS being like this about Chengling, and in the Chengling = Zhen Yan equation we’ve already established, is it possible this will prime ZZS to remember another disciple/young boy he took responsibility for, at one point? Of course, on ZZS’s side of things, it’s possible that hearing about this dog that WKX failed is likely to remind him of the way he failed his own responsibility to all the other disciples of Siji Manor, so, excellent way to take a stab at his heart, WKX! However, ZZS breaks the miserable tone we’ve become mired in by smacking WKX, chiding him for comparing their son to a dog, and getting them drinking. See, here, Chengling is the dog. Earlier, the two sisters A-Xiang rescued were the dog. Later, A-Xiang will be the dog. Unfortunately, WKX is going to have a blind spot and never quite realize that, in the Ghost Valley schema he’s set up, the Department of the Unfaithful is also the dog, but we’ll get to that in later eps. For now, cut to later that night: After dinner and a washup, ZZS sits on his bed, and we get some special effects to indicate that his hearing is also giving him problems, so he deploys his special Nightly Nails Torment meditation pose, and then we get the second instance of WKX playing the xiao to help him meditate and rest. (Junjun, your hands on that xiao …) ANYWAY, we get a gorgeous little bit of physical acting from ZZH here that could easily have been overplayed but is nicely restrained and subtle, with just the slightest smile when ZZS realizes WKX is playing, and then his whole body visibly relaxing as he allows himself to sink into WKX’s now-familiar musical embrace the meditation. It is :chef’s kiss:

Cut to next AM, when ZZS is now a very cranky boy, and I get this, because I also am exceedingly irritated when people bust into the room where I’m sleeping with an abundance of cheerfulness and try to get me to interact and do things without at least half an hour to creep my way out of bed, two cups of coffee, and an hour of silence before any attempts to converse like a reasonable human being (I’m looking at YOU, mom), and I don’t even have the excuse of seven Nails pinning me. Also, when WKX whips off the blankets, we learn that ZZH dresses to the right. :hands: I’m just making an observation. So, WKX wants to go to Yuefan Tower like some kind of wide-eyed tourist, and despite some smacking and scowling and death threats, we then smash-cut to the Tower, where ZZS has apparently come to the conclusion that the only way to deal with the ADHD gremlin crawling into his bed is to humor him about this daytrip. I think you could have come up with some more creative ideas that didn’t involve leaving bed, but I guess you’re not the fast one in this relationship, Zhou-ge. Srsly, though, I’m sure WKX would have been happy to do all the work, my dude. (I don’t always have strong top-bottom preferences, but you probably aren’t going to have much luck convincing me that ZZS is not a pillow princess who wants to just lay back and be spoiled. “Aren’t you a very capable man?” indeed. WKX has to do ALL THE WORK, god. I don’t know if I’m swimming against the current here – god knows I was in Inception fandom, where I felt the same way about Eames - but here we are.) Also, I can’t believe WKX didn’t just sit in the bedroom and creep on A-Xu’s beautiful sleeping profile for at least the amount of time it would have taken to drink a pot of tea, another viable option if it was me in this scenario. Tch. What kind of stalker are you, Lao Wen?

ANYWAY, at Yuefang Tower, ZZS tells us about the Four Sages of Anji, a senior-citizen polycule of soulmates who are, conveniently, at this very moment, on a boat in the lake beside the tower, playing music and sword-dancing. This is the first time they’ve been seen in 10+ years, after they put down their various swords and ran off together to live like hippies off-the-grid in the woods, probably skipping around naked, drinking “tea,” and having lots of sex. ZZS sighs wistfully while recounting this tale and calls them “a breath of fresh air.” There’s some discussion and poetry quoting and literary references to soulmates, and somewhere in here we get a shot of ZZS and WKX from behind which makes it super-obvious how hard they’re working the costumes to make Gong Jun look as broad as possible. He’s got the power shoulders on this set of robes, compared to Laopo ZZS’s soft, unstructured, flowing robes, and with those shoulders tapering down to the belted waist, they’ve got Junjun seriously working the Chris Evans Dorito silhouette. Meanwhile, focus back on their conversation: ZZS thinks that “the world is not important, finding a soulmate is,” giving some MAJOR FORESHADOWING for the end of the show (which we are accepting as “Ep” 37 because WE ARE), when we get that icy separation from the rest of the world but they have each other. WKX gives him a yearning look. ZZS looks back … there’s really no other way to put this … coyly, not meeting WKX’s gaze directly. This offers WKX and us a chance to admire his profile once again, thank you, Laopo. ZZS waits until WKX looks back out at the lake before looking at him directly, and his face journey, y’all. He’s thinking that it might not be bad to spend his remaining time with this soulmate, I think he’s starting to re-think the slow suicide, and he’s also thisclose to just letting WKX have him. Y’all, he seriously wants WKX so bad, here. It may be the first time we’ve seen this level of interest from him - it may be the first time, in all that we’ve seen of him, that he allows himself to even have that kind of interest. I think this is the next big step from Ep 6, when he allowed himself to enjoy being desired - now he’s allowing himself to desire, to want something again, other than a chance to drink himself to death in the gutter. This, right here, is a crucial point when he makes the decision to spend whatever time he’s got left living rather than just dying, and I’m flailing on the couch. This is the face of a man who’s ready to Make Some Declarations while getting railed within an inch of his life. SOMEONE IS GETTING SOME TONIGHT. Or he would if he wasn’t going to turn out to be such a fuckup. FFS, WKX.

But first, we cut to a scene of them back at the marketplace, wandering through as WKX mocks various sects in town for the conference – including the Mount Hua boys, who apparently look like virgins make their first trip to a brothel – and ZZS supplies background info on them. WKX asks if ZZS can tell what sect WKX is from, and ZZS calls him a messy bitch before asking if WKX can please stop making him play guessing games about everything and just tell him what WKX so clearly wants ZZS to know. (I know, right? But no, because then WKX might get what he wants, and he’s way too terrified for that, so you have to guess. That way, it’s not his fault when you figure out who he is and reject him, as anyone clearly will do because he’s unlovable and unforgiveable and not even really human, A-Xu.) WKX immediately changes the subject to ramble about the Hero’s Conference and how laughable all the sects are for wanting to be seen as heroes, blah blah blah, rinse and repeat. ZZS comments that only inexperienced people want to be heroes, that experienced people know “every character of the word hero is written in blood,” and yes, the character they’re using for hero, “ying,” is still the same character used in Han Ying’s name (which is not, by the way, the “ying” used in Wei Ying’s name, to cross streams for a moment). ZZS says he’s too old to be a hero (I and my knees feel you, my dude), now he’s just a wanderer, and he asks if WKX wants to be a hero or a wanderer, and WKX says that as a wanderer, all he needs is ZZS, and I’m telling you, someone absolutely would be getting some tonight if only he wasn’t such a fuckup, Lao Wen.

I’m’a try to wrap this up soon, because it’s gotten v. long, but we then cut to that night at the Getting Lucky Inn, ZZS drinking in his room, WKX busting in with his usual dramatic flair, with wine, inviting ZZS up to the roof to drink and look at the moon. He clearly has ulterior motives, but unfortunately for everyone, we’re going to discover they’re not the ulterior motives ZZS is expecting. As they lean back on the roof together, hands almost-but-not-quite touching, a romantic tune playing, WKX tells ZZS that he’s like, really happy! Just super happy! So happy! Ask me why I’m so happy, A-Xu! Spoiler alert: It is, unfortunately, not because he’s getting ready to get some from his laopo. This is particularly unfortunate, because ZZS chooses this moment to take another big step in this relationship, telling WKX that he’s not going to ask about things WKX doesn’t want to tell him, that he’ll wait for whatever WKX wants to tell him. On the surface, this comes off a little bit like, I’m done with asking when you’re not going to answer anyway, but in context – particularly on the back of the earlier scene when ZZS watched WKX turn on a dime and immediately change the subject to avoid exposing anything when ZZS asked WKX to stop making him guess everything – this is as good as a declaration of going all-in. ZZS is committing to this relationship on faith, without having all – or even most – of the answers about WKX, and his approach is going to be to wait until WKX is ready to reveal whatever information he feels safe and comfortable revealing. In practice, he’s going to end up being better or worse at this, depending on the day, but what it reminds me of, already, is that moment in the 20s (Ep 21? 22?) when A-Xiang and Cao Weining are arguing about her killing the beggar guy, he approaches her, she yells at him and points to the ground to indicate exactly how close he’s allowed to get to her, and his respect of that boundary she lays down is instantaneous and absolute. That’s what ZZS is saying he’s going to at least try to do, here. It also reminds me of the way he’s going to respect WKX’s decision on whether or not WKX is going to claim his place as a disciple of Siji Manor, without it affecting their relationship, so we really are starting as ZZS means to go on, here.

Unfortunately, we then find out that what WKX is actually so happy about is that his plan to burn down the jianghu is starting its next big step, and their romantic evening is interrupted by a bunch of dudes fighting and killing each other over a bunch of fake Glazed Armor. WKX mentions that he’s so happy the show’s started; he’s alternately amused, satisfied, and smug as they watch various fights; he seems to be expecting ZZS to also be amused; and I feel like the implication is that this was his real motive for inviting ZZS out onto the roof, to be able to watch this show with him. ZZS – who’s spent enough time standing ankle-deep in blood for six lifetimes and was working hard just a few weeks ago at drinking himself to death to try to forget what that feels like - is displeased and horrified, rather than very proud of what WKX has accomplished; he pushes WKX away from him when WKX approaches him to ask if he doesn’t think it’s all so very amusing; and he calls WKX crazy, then turns his back on him and walks away. To make things worse, the next morning, after WKX brings breakfast to ZZS’s room and actually knocks, only to find that ZZS has left in the middle of the night, WKX will witness an angry mob gathered outside the house in the woods where the Four Sages of Anji are staying for the Hero’s Conference, demanding a piece of the Glazed Armor the Sages are supposedly holding for Gao Chong, and eventually leading to the deaths of all four of these peaceful aging hippies whose commune in the woods was ZZS’s ultimate dream, leaving WKX horrified by the fact that his actions have consequences, including some that are going to make his boyfriend even more pissed off at him.

SO. All that happened. There were some other people in the episode, too:

We see A-Xiang and Cao Weining having lunch. She asks him why he’s not eating, calls him fat and cute, then proceeds to tell him about Ghoul, who likes to eat the faces of pretty boys. Her conversation skills could still use some work. Cao Weining vows to kill the ghosts of Ghost Valley who would do such awful things. A-Xiang actually ignores this slander about the evil of the residents of the Ghost Valley in a way that she doesn’t usually – usually she looks kind of unhappy when the Evilness of the Evil Inhabitants of the Evil Ghost Valley comes up, going all the way back to ZZS’s comments in Ep 2. Right now, she’s too busy pumping Pooh Bear for information, asking about why the Ghost Valley would have left a pile of heads on Yueyang’s doorstep if the Five Lakes Alliance is so great, so what is Five Lakes going to maybe, perhaps, do about this? Cao-dage is suspicious … that A-Xiang might be scared, but don’t worry, he’ll protect her. Oh, sweetheart. I could eat you up with a spoon, right along with Ghoul. Also, it finally registers that A-Xiang called him cute, but she has to step away for a quick confab with a henchwoman.

We also have to watch Chengling get bullied some more by a Yueyang shixiong who I think is Gao Shan, who we’ll later see bullying some prisoners in the Yueyang dungeon as he admits that he’s doing it to relieve his own frustrations and make himself feel better -  fantastic disciples you’ve got there, Gao Chong, I’m super-impressed by the morality and ethics you’re instilling as a sect. Once again, I have to consider WKX’s position on the jianghu as a hive of scum and villainy. Anyway, once Bullying Hour is over, Chengling runs into A-Xiang, and he can’t manage to prevent the waterworks as he confesses that he thought he’d never see any of them again and that ZZS didn’t want him. UGH. Zhou Zishu, come and get your child back. He’s at least somewhat mollified by Xiang-jie telling him she’s been sent to take care of him, and god knows she’s managed to keep WKX fed and clothed this long, so she has some experience as a minder, as counterintuitive as that seems.

We get a quick shot of Han Ying (My Beloved) with two identical pieces of Glazed Armor, apparently realizing that there are fakes out there.

Deng Kuan shows up, beaten and stumbling, and nearly gets turned away at the front gates of his own sect as a beggar – have I mentioned how unimpressed I am by the Yueyang disciples? Deng Kuan appears to be the only one of them worth anything – before they realize who he is. He is put to bed and tenderly nursed by Gao Xiaolian, who cries over him as he won’t wake up.

Finally, Gao Chong, Shen Shen and Zhao Jing (uh-huh) are horrified to discover that there’s fake Glazed Armor fk’n everywhere in town, making Five Lakes Alliance look ridiculous, which is just fabulous as the Hero’s Conference is coming up, guys. Shen Shen, because everything is a nail, vows to kill anyone who makes problems. Later, Hei Zi, who plays Gao Chong, has an utterly fantastic moment after the deaths of the Four Sages (wow, I did not remember that we wrapped up their entire storyline within a single ep), when he’s haranguing Beggar Gang Chief and is literally all, “You want the Glazed Armor? :pulls a piece out of his robe: HERE. You want some more? :pulls another piece out of his robe: TAKE IT.” It’s a great acting moment, his delivery is perfection.

#zhou zishu #wen kexing #zhang chengling #gu xiang #cao weining #han ying #deng kuan #gao chong #word of honor #word of honor episode reax

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 5 - 13

Honor Bound 5 - 13 (Kidnapping) @badthingshappenbingo​​​

Thank you to @ashintheairlikesnow​​​ for some of the ideas for this chapter... shared way back in July 2020.

~

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3, Honor Bound 4, and the prequel Vera.

AO3

Content warning: home invasion, brief implied non-sexual nudity, hanging and caning mention, intentional mis-naming, death threats, threat of dismemberment, forced to hurt a loved one

~

Gavin flinched awake to a hand clamped over his mouth. He blinked, casting his gaze around the dark room, feeling fuzzy and groggy and confused. Slowly, his eyes focused. His stomach lurched. A tall figure loomed over him, silhouetted by the nightlight. Gavin looked immediately to Isaac, and froze as terror struck him like a blow to the chest.

A man in dark clothing stood over Isaac, pointing a gun at Isaac’s head.

Gavin’s heart thundered in his chest as he realized Isaac was still sleeping soundly next to him, his eyes closed and his mouth open, breathing smoothly and slowly. Gavin looked back towards the man he could now see bending over him. He couldn’t quite make out the man’s face. The man held a finger to his lips and tilted his head at Isaac.

Gavin’s throat worked in a swallow, and he nodded desperately against the man’s hand. The man pulled his hand away from Gavin’s mouth. The other man kept the gun trained on Isaac.

The man standing at the side of Gavin’s bed held out what Gavin suddenly realized were his clothes. Gavin took them with shaking hands and slowly, carefully pulled on his pants under the blanket. He kept his eyes fixed on Isaac as he slid his arms into the sleeves of his t-shirt, praying that Isaac would stay asleep. He pulled the shirt on over his head and looked towards the man standing over him. The man beckoned towards the door with his head.

Tears sprung to Gavin’s eyes and he bit his lip as he looked back to Isaac. He felt as if freezing water had been dumped into his veins, and his hands shook so badly he could scarcely feel them. Still, as Gavin looked over at Isaac, he longed to kiss him, just to say goodbye before he was taken. Just to feel something good, before he disappeared into a car, or into a body bag.

Just to convince himself that, for a little while, Isaac had been his.

Gavin shoved down a sob as the man pointed at the door. He pushed himself out of bed, screaming silently in his own mind for Isaac to wake up and save him from being taken – and begging, just as loudly, just as silently, for Isaac to stay asleep. The first man roughly grabbed Gavin’s arm and pulled him towards the door, even as Gavin looked back at Isaac with tears running down his cheeks. The man with the gun kept his gun pointed at Isaac as he backed out of the room behind Gavin. Gavin caught one last glimpse of Isaac before the men shut the door behind him and pulled him towards the front door. Gavin could still smell Isaac, and he realized with a start that the man had given him Isaac’s shirt.

The men herded Gavin through the dark house. From the closet near the kitchen, Gavin could hear the soft hissing of the heater. He jumped as something brushed against his leg, cursing himself as he realized it was the cat, Nata. Nata meowed as he trotted beside Gavin, his reflective yellow eyes staring up at Gavin in the dark. Panicked, Gavin glanced around at the men, terrified that they would stop at the cat’s noise and turn back to kill Isaac. They both kept walking, one in front of Gavin, one behind.

When they reached the front door, the men paused to pull on their boots that they had left at the threshold. Gavin blinked as they opened the door and pushed him out into the moonlit night.

Gavin shivered in the chill as one man pulled his hands behind his back, and the other tightened a zip tie around his wrists. The cold, hard plastic of the restraint broke through Gavin’s panic for a moment as he cast about for why they would have waited to restrain him until he was outside.

The thought occurred to him a moment later: Isaac would have woken up at the sound of a zip tie tightening. One of the men pulled a cellphone out of his pocket and sent a quick text. The men began walking again, not pausing to let Gavin put on shoes of his own.

Gavin’s teeth chattered and his feet froze on the cold ground as the men turned to the west and began to walk him along the lane. Gavin thought he remembered the house being east of Burmingham, but he couldn’t be sure. The family had arrived at the house a month earlier in the dead of night, delirious with exhaustion. Underneath the constant, gripping cold and the sting of gravel beneath his feet, Gavin’s heart pounded in a frenzied, sickening thrum.

He glanced at both of the men. Their faces were lit by the full moon above them. Gavin didn’t recognize either of them. Neither of them spoke, just prodded Gavin forward. Their breath fogged in the cold air. Gavin’s tears cooled on his cheeks.

They could have been walking for ten minutes or an hour when Gavin thought he heard the sound of a car idling ahead. He turned his ear towards the sound and felt a deeper chill – definitely a car.

Everyone in the house would have woken up at the sound of a car coming in the middle of the night.

Gavin whimpered quietly and kept walking. His fingers felt numb.

The sound of the idling car grew louder until Gavin could hear it coming from just down a shallow embankment by the side of the road. One of the men tightened his hand on Gavin’s arm and dragged him to the side of the car. For a moment, Gavin wondered if perhaps his cousin Mark was in the car, here to drag Gavin back to the home he’d escaped.

The guard opened the door to the backseat. The overhead light switched on in the car, revealing another guard in the driver’s seat. Gavin’s heart sank in his chest. A pit opened inside him.

Daniel Schiester sat in the passenger seat.

I am not surviving this.

Gavin shivered at the mayor of Crayton’s cold blue eyes settling on him, and the colder smile that moved across the man’s face. Gavin flinched at the memory of the only time he’d ever met Schiester, where he’d had Gavin caned half to death and nearly hanged when he’d been discovered in the family’s midst. Schiester was the reason Gavin had had to remain under house arrest during the family’s time in Crayton; if Gavin was caught outside that house, and outside the family’s protection, their lives would be forfeit as well as Gavin’s.

That was before the family told Schiester that Gavin was dead.

Gavin’s throat worked, and more tears formed in his eyes. Please, please don’t kill them, too. It’s not their fault.

“Hello, Gavin Stormbeck,” Schiester said almost pleasantly.

Gavin licked his trembling lips. “My name is—” He doubled over with a cry as a fist smashed into his gut. One of the men holding him dragged him upright again. He gagged weakly in their grasp.

Schiester tilted his head. “Yes, Mx. Uriah mentioned you went by something else now.”

Gavin’s eyes widened and he gasped like he’d been dealt a second blow. “G-Gray—”

Schiester waved his hand dismissively. “No, they didn’t turn you in. They’d rather die, clearly, since that was the penalty I spelled out for harboring you.”

Gavin’s eyes streamed and he swallowed down the nausea roiling in his stomach. “P-please, don’t—”

Schiester held up his hand. “Quiet, Stormbeck,” he said lightly. “I won’t take their life tonight, nor the lives of anyone else in that family.” Schiester said the last word with a hint of an edge to his voice. “They serve their purpose, and are worth more to me alive than dead. They will, however,” Schiester said with a nod, “Almost certainly come after you once they discover you’re gone. At which point they will die.”

“N-no,” Gavin breathed. “Schiester, please…” The plea sounded broken to his own ears. Gavin shivered violently against the guards’ hands.

Schiester shrugged. “I’ll allow you to do your part in stopping them.” He nodded at the guards still standing outside the car with Gavin. “Get him inside, please.”

The two guards shoved Gavin forward and he fell roughly into the backseat, sobbing weakly.  “P-please,” he rasped, staring pleadingly at Schiester. “Schiester, please, please, don’t kill them, don’t k-kill…” He shuddered and pressed his lips together against the pain tearing through his chest. “It’s not their fault, please, please, please, please, no…”

Schiester watched Gavin evenly. “You care about them?” he said with a voice devoid of emotion.

Gavin nodded desperately. “Y-yes,” he gasped. “Please… Th-they shouldn’t d-die because, because of me, please…”

Schiester’s cold gaze moved over Gavin as he cried. “You understand that I am allowing you the chance to prevent them from coming after you. And that once you do this, I will take you to Crayton to be punished for your crimes. You’ve already been tried and convicted by private tribunal, of course.”

Gavin shivered and met Schiester’s eyes. “Please don’t kill them,” he whispered.

Schiester continued as if Gavin hadn’t said anything. “And you realize that, once you have suffered what I deem appropriate for your crimes, you will be put to death.”

Gavin swallowed hard. “But you won’t… you won’t hurt my… the family?”

Schiester’s gaze pierced through Gavin. He held Gavin’s gaze for a long moment. “No,” he said finally. “If you do your job and those people don’t come after you, they’ll have nothing more to fear from me.”

Gavin tasted his own tears on his lips. “Wh-what do you want me to do?” he breathed.

Schiester gestured at Gavin with his chin. “Liefeste,” he said flatly.

One of the guards still standing outside the car leaned in and pulled Gavin towards him. He drew a knife from his belt and cut the zip tie tying Gavin’s hands behind his back. Gavin rubbed at the chafed skin, staring at Schiester with hopeful terror.

Gavin flinched as Schiester reached into his coat pocket. Schiester withdrew his hand – but he was holding a piece of paper, not a gun. He set the paper on the center console and reached back into his pocket for a fountain pen that he laid across the paper.

Gavin’s throat ached as he swallowed. “What do you want me to—”

“You are going to write a letter,” Schiester said evenly. “To Isaac Moore, whom I can only assume is your lover based upon where you were found.” Schiester glanced at the guard who sent the text. “I refuse to speculate on the nature of that relationship. And I cannot pretend to know what makes the others tolerate your presence.” Schiester shrugged. “You will write anything you need to write in order to convince Isaac Moore not to come for you. Assuming he can read, of course.”

Gavin blinked away his tears. “He can—”

“Then write it,” Schiester said with a wave of his hand. “If not, Isaac dies. I’ll have Liefeste bring you back something to remember him by. A lock of his hair, perhaps. Or a finger. You have three minutes.” Schiester glanced at his watch.

All the air rushed out of Gavin’s chest. His fingers shook as he picked up the fountain pen and clumsily unscrewed the lid. He leaned forward over the center console and rested his hand on the paper. His mind was a ragged mess of fear. I can’t tell him not to come. I can’t tell him it’s too dangerous. There’s nothing I can say that will make him understand that he can’t save me from this. Anything I say will just make him fight harder.

Cold bitterness gripped his chest. There was only one thing he could think to write that would shatter Isaac so badly he’d never go after Gavin – something that would make him hate Gavin until the end of time. He gripped the pen tighter and prayed his hand wouldn’t shake too badly.

Isaac,

I’m sorry I’m telling you this way, but I just couldn’t say it to your face. I’m leaving. I need to be honest with myself: I love you, but you can’t keep anyone safe.

Sorry things had to go this way, but I got what I wanted. Hope you understand and there are no hard feelings.

Take care,

Gavin

Gavin let the pen fall from numb fingers. His chest ached as he forced down a broken sob. Schiester snatched up the letter and read it once, his eyes scanning it quickly before he smiled slightly and folded it. He glanced at Gavin before handing it to the guard – Liefeste.

“Put that somewhere conspicuous,” Schiester said flatly. Liefeste took the letter and jogged back towards the house with a grunt.

Gavin dissolved into messy tears. He pressed his face into his hands and wailed as his heart shattered in his chest. His lungs felt like they were being torn from his body.

The other guard climbed into the backseat with him and closed the door. The overhead light turned off, plunging Gavin into darkness. He sobbed as the guard pulled his hands behind his back and tied them again. Gavin barely felt the bite of thin plastic into his skin over the tearing feeling in his chest and the agony in his mind.

“I-Isaac, no, Isaac, Isaac, Isaac…”

“What me to shut him up, sir?” the guard asked.

“No, let the child cry it out,” came Schiester’s cold reply.

“Isaac,” Gavin moaned. Isaac’s smell was all around him, wafting off the shirt Gavin wore as he rocked back and forth, his voice rising nearly to a scream in his anguish. “He, he’ll think… No!”

“It was expertly written, I’ll admit,” Schiester said. “Clearly your penchant for cruelty hasn’t left you.”

“Isaac, Isaac, Isaac,” Gavin sobbed. “Isaac, Isaac, Isaac, I didn’t… Isaac, please, no…”

“Take comfort in the fact that you’re saving his life, if that means anything to you,” Schiester said in the dark.

Gavin’s head swam as he gasped for air. “Isaac,” he whispered brokenly. “Isaac…” Tears burned his cheeks.

He jumped as the car door opened and the overhead light came on. Liefeste stood in the door and looked past his partner at Gavin with disdain before he closed the door again, jogged to the other side, and got in beside Gavin. Gavin sobbed as Liefeste closed the door and extinguished the overhead light again. The car lurched onto the road, and the driver drove in darkness for a while before he finally switched on the headlights. The car reached Burmingham and turned south.

Gavin’s sobs faded away to whimpers, which faded away to silence. Anguish and dull dread gave way to numbness as Schiester and his men drove with Gavin through the dark towards Crayton, the moon lighting the hills around them.

Continued here

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#honor bound 5 #bad things happen bingo #kidnapping #my oc: Gavin #Gavin whump #it's happening!!! #home invasion #nudity tw #held at gunpoint #Nata the cat #restrained #hanging mention tw #caning #mis-naming tw #manhandling #begging #death threats tw #dismembering mention tw #forced to hurt someone #self-sacrifice #Isaac/Gavin

[up-to-some-good]

Part 6: ...and 1 time I did the opposite

I will warn you, this one is bad. If you want to save yourself some pain, don’t read below the cut.

Previous parts: 1 2 3 4 5

The Potters had been cooped up for over a year when they were finally given a break. It was Halloween, the anniversary of their first date, and Sirius and Remus offered to babysit Harry for one night so they could have some alone time. Dumbledore approved the idea and they couldn’t be more pleased. They loved their baby, but they needed a break.

“Don’t let him eat too many sweets,” Lily said, kissing Remus’s cheek.

“Lily,” he said calmly. “You’ve gone over the rules and routine about a hundred times and it’s pinned to the refrigerator. Go, have fun, stop worrying.”

She looked over at Harry, giggling from Sirius’s arms and sighed.

“I hate it when you’re right,” she said, joining James at the car. “I’ll see you three later.”

Remus waved and closed the door before turning back to his boyfriend, who was tickling his godson’s stomach and muttering nonsense at the giggling toddler. He would make a good dad, one day. Remus moved over to the pair and kissed Sirius’s forehead. Sirius handed the toddler over and turned to the kitchen.

“I’ll make us some dinner, you handle the baby,” he called as he walked away.

A few hours later, Remus finished drying the dishes and walked back to the living room where Sirius was with Harry. He was telling his godson about their first Halloween at Hogwarts, casting small pumpkins and bats out of sparks to illustrate the finer points of the story. Harry giggled and tugged at his hair, before swiping at the sparks and causing them to dissolve.

“Stop lurking, Moony,” Sirius said. “Come sit with us.”

He smirked before sitting with the two, joining in on the story telling until a clock somewhere in the house chimed eight times and both men gasped.

“It’s past your bedtime, Haz,” Sirius said, tickling his godson again. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“No!” Harry yelled, barely getting the word out through his giggles.

“Yes,” Sirius said. “Uncle Moony’s gonna take you and get you all snuggled up, okay?”

“Story?” Harry asked, now looking over at Remus earnestly.

“Of course,” Remus answered, dropping his wand on the coffee table.

He took the boy into his arms and started up the stairs. Halfway up, he heard Sirius’s footsteps clunking quickly into the entryway and his blood ran cold.

“Remus! Take Harry and run!” he yelled. “He’s here!”

He heard the front door opening as he entered Harry’s room and barricaded the door. His wand was downstairs on the coffee table. Dumbledore had the invisibility cloak and Sirius had the mirror. He was trapped.

He heard a muffled voice and a flash of green light refracted under the door. There was a loud thud.

“Sirius,” he whispered, falling to his knees. “No.”

He heard footsteps on the stairs, to quiet to come from Sirius’s heavy boots and moved to brace himself against the crib.

“Mooey?” Harry asked, too quietly.

“I’m here, Harry,” he said, barely holding back his tears. “It will be okay.”

The door was blasted off its hinges and Voldemort stepped into the room. Harry started crying. Remus didn’t turn to comfort him – he had to protect him first.

“Please, don’t,” Remus choked out.

Voldemort sighed.

“Black is dead,” he said mildly. “I could use a spare werewolf, Lupin. Step aside and you will be welcomed into my army.”

“I’d rather die,” he spat.

“As you wish.”

A flash of green light illuminated the room. Remus Lupin fell to the ground. Harry continued to cry as Voldemort turned his wand on the boy.

“Avada kedavra!”

The curse rebounded and the room exploded, leaving a crying toddler in the wreckage of his home, alone.

***

Lily was laughing as James drove home. It was the first time she had felt so calm in months. Her laughter died abruptly as they pulled up to their street and she saw flames. She grabbed James’s thigh and he sped up.

Their house was in flames, a hole in the left side where Harry’s room looked into the street. James was out of the car in a second, running to open the front door and falling to his knees as soon as he opened it. Lily was right behind him.

“Pads,” he choked out, sobbing.

Sirius was in the entrance hall, dead. His eyes were wide open, and his wand was nowhere around. Lily thought back to him at Hogwarts, laughing loudly with his arms around James’s shoulders, at their wedding, dancing with Remus, on the battlefield, eyes fierce and wand drawn. It was strange to see him so still.

A baby’s cry drew her attention. She squeezed James’s shoulder before turning to run up the stairs, shaking as she stepped over Sirius’s body.

She found Harry in his cot, the sole survivor in the house. Remus’s body was in front of his crib from where he had clearly tried to protect her son. She picked up the toddler and rocked him gently, willing herself not to collapse next to Remus and sob until she couldn’t breathe.

Remus, who had helped her with Care of Magical Creatures when she was struggling, missing a Hogsmeade weekend with the marauders, who had walked her down the aisle at her wedding, the first person she told she was pregnant, was dead.

She walked back downstairs to find James standing at the door, clutching the frame for support. He turned when he saw her and rushed to take Harry from her, wiping the blood off of his son’s forehead to reveal a curse scar.

“If I ever see Pettigrew again,” he muttered. “I’ll kill him.”

The funeral was a painful affair. Neither Sirius nor Remus had any family beside the Potters. The whole Order attended and praised them as heroes, but it didn’t dull the ache in James’s chest. Sirius, his brother, was killed. Remus, the love of Sirius’s life, had had to listen to his body crumple to the floor before he succumbed to the same fate. It was all Peter’s fault. They had trusted Peter with their lives, with Harry’s life, and he had betrayed them, for what? Power? He couldn’t make sense of it.

He tried to comfort himself that Lily was alive, that Harry was safe, but he couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if they had been home. He had lost almost everything and gotten so close to losing it all. It was unbearable.

Lily was quiet as they walked home. The house they were renting was empty. They had left Harry with Frank’s mother for the funeral and would pick him up later. For now, they needed a moment alone.

He knew something was wrong when he opened the door, year of war had given him instincts for that sort of thing. He didn’t have time to react before he and Lily were roughly tied up and brought to their knees, their wands taken.

Before them stood Bellatrix Lestrange, flanked by her husband and his brother. Behind them, a young boy stood quietly, thrumming with excitement. Bellatrix pointed her wand at James, one of the brothers pointed his at Lily. White hot pain rolled through James’s body, and he heard Lily cried out next to him. It stopped suddenly.

“The pain stops when you tell us where the Dark Lord is,” Bellatrix said.

Four wands now pointed at the Potters. No one would look for them for hours. They had no way out.

“We don’t know,” Lily panted out.

The pain started again.

James thought of Lily, laughing at Harry smashing the vase Petunia had given to them. He thought of Harry, mesmerised by his father’s animagus form. He thought about Sirius and Remus and his parents and everyone he had ever loved before he blacked out.

***  

Petunia Dursley did not like the wizarding hospital – St Muggo’s or whatever it was called. It smelled like a normal hospital, but off – something unidentifiable in the air. Her nephew clutched on to her shirt, especially quiet for a three-year-old. She didn’t like bringing him here, but the letter from Dumbledore had emphasised that she must, and she was rather afraid of the wizard. She couldn’t understand why the Potters were here in the first place, and why they didn’t ever seem to get better; no one had ever explained it to her, and she didn’t bother to ask. She had enough on her plate between Dudley and her nephew.

Lily Potter didn’t recognise them when they walked into the room. Her husband – Jack? – never even acknowledged them, staring out of the window and humming some inane tune. Both of them looked terrible, their skin sunken and grey, their hair dull with premature grey hairs. Both had lost the light in their eyes that Petunia had seen years ago.

Harry babbled at his mother while Petunia read a magazine. Her sister didn’t say a word and didn’t seem to hear her son either. Today, Lily’s husband seemed to be paying attention, his eyes flickering between Harry and Lily with what might be mistaken for interest if he weren’t completely insane

After half and hour she stood up to leave. She stalked into the corridor with Harry holding her hand. He was big enough to walk now, so she ensured he did whenever possible. A sound from behind her made her turn around.

Lily stood in the hallway and reached out to her son. Harry walked wearily over to her. She took his hand and placed and candy wrapper in his palm, squeezing his hand around it, before kissing his head and wondering back into her room, humming.

It was something, Petunia thought with a strange feeling of relief, something that looked like recovery.

#five times i fixed harry potter and one time i absolutely did not #harry potter fic #harry potter #harry potter angst #marauders fic #marauders #marauders angst #5+1 fic #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter #lily potter #i have nothing to say for myself #wolfstar angst #jily angst

[davidmann95]

How about those JL storyboards?

In case you haven’t heard, Zack Snyder is putting on display the ‘storyboards’ - i.e. a rough plot summary accompanied by some Jim Lee sketches - for what would have been Justice League 2 and 3, or as this puts it 2 and ‘2A’. You can see them here (I imagine better-quality versions will soon be released), and read a transcript here. This is evidently a very early version: this was apparently pitched prior to the release of BvS and Justice League being rewritten in the wake of it, with numerous plot details that now don’t line up with what we know about the Snyder Cut, plus it outright mentions it builds on the originally planned versions of the Batman and Flash movies. But it’s a broad outline of what was gonna go down, and while I initially thought it was Snyder throwing in the towel, the timing - paired with the ambiguity left by the necessity for changes, including that this doesn’t factor whatever that “massive cliffhanger” at the end of the Cut is - says to me he’s hoping this’ll be a force multiplier behind efforts to will sequel/s into existence. He’s probably right.

I’ll be discussing spoilers below, but in short: with this Zack Snyder has finally lived up to Alan Moore, in that like Twilight of the Superheroes I wouldn’t believe this was real as opposed to a shockingly on-point parody if not for direct, irrefutable evidence.

Doing some rapid-fire bullet points for this baby to kick us off:

* Folks who know the subject say a lot of this is a yet further continuation of Snyder doing Arthuriana fanfic with the League reskinned over those major players, and I’ll take their word for it.

* I don’t know whether I love or hate that in Justice League 2 the Justice League are only an extant thing for the first scene, and then it’s Snyder giving everybody their own mini-movies. It’s compressing the entire MCU “loosely interconnected solo stories leading to a single big movie later” strategy into a single movie!

*  Funniest line in the whole thing: "Even Lantern has heard of the Kryptonian, worried that he's under the control of Darkseid. He heard his spirit was unbreakable." Hal what fuckin' Superman movie did YOU watch? Second funniest being “IT WILL GIVE HIM POWER OVER ALL LIVING LIFE”

* 90% of the plot I have nothing to say about, it’s generic stage-setting crap. That to be clear is the ‘shocked it’s Snyder’ element, it feels so crassly commercial in a way I can’t believe is coming from the BvS guy.

* Most of what I have to say is unsurprisingly gonna be about a handful of characters but Cyborg’s happy ending being “he isn’t visibly disabled anymore!” is not great!

* The Goddess of War battle with Superman...never pays off? No clue why it’s there.

* What I’d originally heard was that the Codex in Superman’s blood was the last key to the Anti-Life Equation and that’s why Darkseid was coming to Earth. It’s not like all of this wouldn’t have already been averted by Kal-El’s pod smacking into an asteroid on the way to Earth so it’s not as if this makes it any more Superman’s fault, and it would have at least tied all this back to the beginning of the movies, but I suppose that was either fake or from a later draft.

* I have NO idea how this was reimagined without the ‘love triangle’, it’s the central character thing and the entire climax flows directly out of it!

* Darkseid’s kinda a chump in this, huh

Anonymous said: So: Does Zack Snyder hate Superman?

Look: the hilarity of this when Cuck Kent has been a go-to Snyder cult insult towards ‘inferior’ takes on Superman for years cannot be understated, yet at the same time I can almost wrap my brain around where Snyder’s coming from with that as the end for his take on the character. He talked in that Variety piece on how his interest in Superman is informed by having adopted children himself, and Deborah Snyder is the stepmother to his kids by previous relationships, so I can see where he’d be coming from, and I can even imagine how he’d see this as ‘rhyming’ in the sense of “the series begins with Kal-El being adopted by Earth, it ends with him adopting a child of Earth!” In the same way as MARTHA, I can envision how he would put these pieces together in his head thematically without registering or caring what the end result would actually look like. In this case, Superman raising the kid of the man who beat the shit out of him who Batman had with Clark’s wife, who earlier told Bruce she was staying with Clark because he ‘needed her’, suggesting if inadvertently that this really honest to god was a “she’s only staying with Superman out of pity, she really loved Batman more” thing.

But Clark is nothing in this. He’s sad and existential because of coming back from the dead I guess, then he’s corrupted, then time’s undone and he woo-rah rallies the collective armies of the world (interesting angle for the ‘anti-military/anti-establishment’ Superman he’s talked up as) as his big heroic moment in the finale, and then he stops being sad because he’s adopting a kid. So his big much-ballyhooed, extremely necessary five-movie character arc towards truly becoming Superman was:

Sad weird kid -> sad weird kid learns he’s an alien, is still weird and sad, maybe he shouldn’t save people because things could go really wrong? -> his dad is so convinced it could go wrong he lets himself die -> ????? -> Clark is saving people anyway -> learns his origin, gets an inspiring speech about being a bridge between worlds and a costume -> becomes superman (not Superman, that’s later) to save the world, albeit a very property-damagey version, rejects his heritage he just learned about and space dad’s bridge idea -> folks hate him being superman and that sucks though at least he’s got a girlfriend now -> things go so wrong he considers not being superman but his ghost dad reminds him shit always goes wrong so he should be good anyway, which sorta feels like it contradicts his previous advice -> immediate renewed goodness is out the window as he’s blackmailed into having to try and kill a dude but the dude happens to coincidentally have some things in common so they don’t kill each other after all -> big monster now but superman keeps supermaning at it because he loves his girlfriend and he dies -> he’s brought back, wears black which apparently means now he likes Krypton again? -> he has work friends now but he’s still sad because he was dead -> evil now! -> wait nevermind time travel -> rallies the troops -> his wife’s having a kid so he’s not sad anymore -> Superman! Who gives way to more Batman.

Do I think Zack Snyder is lying when he says he likes Superman? No. I think he sincerely finds much of the basic conceits and imagery engaging. But I don’t think he meaningfully gives shit about Clark as a character, just a vessel for Big Iconic Beats he wants to hit. Whereas while for instance he’s critical of Batman as an idea (at least up to a point), he’s much more passionately, directly enamored with him as a presence and personality. So while Superman may be the character whose ostensible myth cycle or arc or however it’s spun might be propelling a lot of events here, it’s a distant appreciation - of course the other guy takes over and subsumes him into his own narrative. Of course Batman is the savior, the past and the future (though if he’s supposed to be Batman’s kid raised by Superman there’s no excuse for him not to be Nightwing), the tragic martyr to our potential. Admittedly the implication here is also that Batman can apparently only REALLY with his whole heart be willing to sacrifice his life to save an innocent, for that matter apparently his great love, once said innocent is a receptacle for his Bat-brood, but he and Clark are both already irredeemable pieces of shit by the end of BvS so it’s not like this even registers by comparison.

Anonymous said: That “plan” Snyder had was utter dogshit. Picture proof that DC & WB hate Superman. Also I love how you’re like Jor-El: Every single idealistic take you had about Snyder, his fandom, and BvS was wrong. Snyder’s an edgy hack, his fanbase just wants to jerk off to their edgy self-insert Batgod as he screams FUCK while mowing people down with machine guns, and the idea that BvS said Superman was better than Bats was completely wrong. You know what comes next SuperMann: Either you die or I do.

In the final analysis, beyond that mother of god is there sure no conceivable excuse for the treatment of Lois in this? The temptation is to join that anon and say as I originally tweeted that these were “built entirely to disabuse every single redemptive reading of the previous work and any notion of these movies as nuanced, artistic, self-reflective, or meaningful”.

...

...

...yeah, okay, that’s mostly right. Zack Snyder’s vision really was the vision of an edgelord idiot with bad ideas who was never going to build up to anything that would reframe it all as a sensible whole. He’s a sincere edgelord genuinely trying really hard with his bad ideas who put some of them together quite cleverly! But they’re fucking bad and the endgame was never anything more than ramping up into smashing the action figures together as big as he could, the political overtones and moral sketchiness of BvS while trying to say something in that movie reverberated through the grand scheme of his pentalogy in no way beyond giving his boys a big sad pit to rise out of so when they kicked ass later it’d rule harder, and all the gods among men questions and horror and trappings were only that: trappings. Apparently he’s really pleasant and well-meaning in person, but at his core his art as embodied in a couple weeks in his 4-hour R-rated Justice League movie meant to be seen in black-and-white all comes down to that time he yelled at someone on Twitter that he couldn’t appreciate Snyder’s work because it’s for grown-ups. He made half-clever, occasionally exciting shit cape movies for a bunch of corny pseudo-intellectual douchebags, folks latching onto and justifying blockbusters that at least acknowledge how horrifying the world is right now even if the superheroes are basically useless in the face of it if not outright part of the problem until a convenient alien invasion shows up to justify them, and a handful of non-asshole smart people who vibe with it but...well. ‘Suckered’ is a harsh word, and definitely doesn’t apply to all of them re: what they’ve gotten out of it up to this point and would (somehow) get out of this. But it doesn’t apply to none of them, either.

#Justice League #Zack Snyder #Superman #Batman #DCEU #Opinion

[yellowcanna]

The ZhongXiao Alliance

Summary:

“You requested the bard to get you porn?” Diluc questioned with a skeptical look on his face.

“No!” Aether shouted, waving his hands frantically in front of him. “It’s for…for Paimon!”

“WHAT?!” Paimon screamed off the top of her lungs before spinning around to see the pair of crimson eyes narrowing at her while the blue one twinkled with amusement.

"So he says." Kaeya gestured to the Honourary Knight.

“No! Paimon would never read these kinds of things! It’s adeptus Xiao!!”

“An adeptus from Liyue want you two to get porn?” The disbelief in the tavern owner’s voice was clear.

“This is all for Morax’s sake!” Venti pipped up from behind Aether, as if that would make the situation any better.

“Oh? Morax?” The Cavalry Captain raised a brow. "So it is the Geo Archon that wanted the porn?”

Aether buried his face into his hands. He should have never taken up on Xiao's request. No, before that, he shouldn't have taken Zhongli's request.

This whole mess started when Zhongli confessed to Xiao in the wrong order, starting with sex.

Now, it's up to one traveller, one emergency food, and one bard to make things right...by getting Xiao a guide to sexual intercourse.

Rating: 18+

Genre: Mutual pining, comedy, miscommunication, romantic fluff, smut, yaoi

Pairing: Main Zhongli/Xiao, side Aether/Venti, hint of Kaeya/Diluc and Xingqiu/Chongyun

Story type: Multi-chapter

Beta’d by: Amberowl123

中文 Chinese Translation available by: Yejet

╔ ✦✧✦ ═════════════╗

Available on AO3!!

╚═════════════ ✦✧✦ ╝

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    CHAPTER 2 - ZhongXiao Alliance, Book!

  “Eleven…twelve…thirteen…” Aether counted, carefully plucking the Cecilias and adding them to the basket in his hand.

“Aether! I got five more!” Paimon waved, flying back with an armful of Cecilias.

“Thanks, Paimon!” Aether smiled, plucking two more Cecilias while Paimon added her flowers into the basket. “Perfect, that’s all the flowers!”

“Great! Let’s go back to Mondstadt! Maybe the tone-deaf bard got the thing already!”

“You’re pretty optimistic about that.” The blond raised a brow at her.

“Well…as long as it’s not us who need to find it! That tone-deaf bard seems oddly familiar with these things, don’t you think?”

Aether couldn’t argue Paimon there. Venti was strangely at ease—confident even—when he told them he’d get them the porn. Though Venti was over two thousand years old, and so was Xiao. Perhaps it was due to their long lifespan that they no longer feel embarrassed over things like that?

When the blond thought of it that way, he found himself to be quite immature. If he thought over a bit more, the book was—as Xiao had said—study materials, right? Maybe he and Paimon were the ones over exaggerating and over complicating things.

With that mindset, Aether and Paimon left Starsnatch Cliff. The journey back to Mondstadt took about two hours. By the time they arrived, the sun had already set and the city was quiet compared to the lively nights at Liyue Harbour.

The two headed straight for Angel’s Share where there were already customers seated around on the tables outside, gulping down their drinks. The blond and Paimon greeted some familiar faces before grabbing the door handle and stepping inside the tavern Venti had told them to meet him at.

The first thing the two were greeted with was the sight of Diluc’s irritated face, Kaeya’s amused look, and Venti who was grinning from ear to ear.

“Aha! You see? I’m not lying!” Venti announced, pointing towards Aether who was frozen at the doorway. The blond wondered if it was too late to close the door and pretended that he was never here.

“What’s going on?” Paimon asked, looking between the two men and the archon.

“You’ve joined us at the right time,” Kaeya waved his hand lightly for them to come over.

Having no choice, Aether walked over to them despite his instincts screaming at him to leave. “What happened?” He asked and he swore he saw Diluc’s brows twitched.

What in the world did Venti do this time?

Venti, receiving Aether’s questioning look, shrugged. “Well, Master Diluc, Sir Kaeya and I were just talking about… aesthetics.”

“We were discussing your questionable performance,” Diluc corrected. Even though his voice was even, Aether could tell the man was this close to tossing the bard outside.

“What part of my performance was questionable?” Venti argued back, clearly seeing no wrong in whatever he did. Worried a fight might break out, Aether hurried to step between them.

“The part where you requested the customers to pay you with porn.”

The blond tripped over his feet, his face smashing against the hard wooden floor and his body drawing a line between Venti and Diluc.

“Aether! Are you alright?” Paimon flew over to Aether who had a hand over his reddened nose.

“Hey, I was doing our Honorary Knight a favour! You wouldn’t want to deprive Mondstadt’s saviour his needs, would you?”

Both Diluc and Kaeya looked down at Aether—crimson and blue eyes staring at him skeptically.

“You requested the bard get you porn?” Diluc questioned with an unreadable look on his face.

“No!” Aether shouted, bouncing back onto his feet at the accusation while waving his hands frantically in front of him. “Well, I mean, yes, I did ask, but it’s not for me!”

“Then who is it?” Kaeya inquired with one hand resting on his hip.

The blond’s brain was a mess as he tried to think of what to say. There was no way he could tell them that it was Xiao who wanted the book! He was an adeptus, after all. He also couldn’t say it was for a friend since that would sound like a poor excuse! “It’s for…for Paimon!”

“WHAT?!!” Paimon shouted off the top of her lungs before spinning around to see Diluc raising a brow at her while Kaeya let out a small hum.

“I must say, I would never have expected that from you,” the knight commented with an odd smile on his lips.

“No! It’s not for Paimon!” Paimon shrieked. “Paimon would never read these kinds of things! It’s for Adeptus Xiao!!”

Aether covered his hands over his face, unable to watch the mess unfold.

“An adeptus from Liyue wanted you two to get porn?” The disbelief in Diluc’s voice was clear.

“This is all for Morax’s sake!” Venti piped up from behind Aether, as though that would make the situation any better.

“Morax?” Diluc frowned. “Didn’t the Geo Archon die?”

“Uh…!” Both Aether and Paimon paled.

“Are you suggesting that not only is the Geo Archon not dead, he asked you to get porn?” Kaeya pushed on.

“I…!” Aether looked between the two men, feeling completely trapped with no way out.

“This isn’t the place to talk,” Diluc gestured for them to follow and brought them to the basement where they stored the wine. He shot more than a couple of nasty glares when Venti’s hands wandered too close to some of the wine.

Once they were inside one of the storage rooms, Diluc slammed the door shut and turned to Aether with his arms crossed over his chest. “Explain.”

Having, no choice, Aether began to explain the mess they were dragged into—including the fact that the Geo Archon was very much alive. The blond knew he could trust both Kaeya and Diluc to keep it a secret…perhaps that was also why Venti casually revealed the Geo Archon being alive.

“So Rex Lapis is alive and he has fallen in love with one of the immortals of Liyue,” Kaeya muttered after hearing the full story. “Most interesting indeed.”

“And that adeptus requested you bring…research materials.” Diluc pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a quiet sigh. While he fully understood the situation, he didn’t look any happier than when Aether first saw him.

“Now that we've gotten this misunderstanding out of the way, can I get my books back?” Venti asked with his hands on his hips.

“So…what exactly happened?” Paimon asked again.

“As usual, the audiences loved performances and kindly gifted me their valuable collections, but they were all confiscated by Master Diluc here.”

“You should be glad I didn’t kick you out of the tavern.” Diluc retorted.

“Wait, so you really did get a book?!” Paimon turned to Venti in shock.

“Of course! I did promise I’ll help you guys find one, didn’t I?” Venti bragged and looked back to Diluc.

“What about Kaeya?” Aether turned to the Cavalry Captain. “Why were you here?”

“As one of the Knights of Favonius, it is my duty to oversee regulations. I can’t turn a blind eye to shady dealings now, can I?” Kaeya shrugged.

“How was any of that shady?!” Venti gasped in genuine shock.

“Even if you are lord Barbatos, there are still laws you have to follow.”

“Surely a book or two isn’t that big of a deal!”

“You are correct. A book or two is not a big deal, but…” Kaeya trailed off, his eye shifting to Diluc. Diluc spared a small glimpse at Kaeya before sharply turning away. He looked a little irritated, but stepped out of the storage room and returned a minute later carrying a large bundle wrapped in a tablecloth.

The moment the redhead set the bundle onto the floor, the cloth unwrapped, revealing stacks after stacks of books.

“Don’t tell me—!!” Aether’s jaw fell open at the mountain of porn.

“Did you rob the entire city?!” Paimon shouted.

“Of course not! These were all gifted to me by my faithful fans!”

“So now you see.” Kaeya bent down, picking up a blank cover book and waved it at Aether. “When a large quantity of these suddenly turned up at a tavern, that is something a knight cannot ignore.”

“We’re very sorry!” Aether apologized immediately. He was never so glad that it was Kaeya who caught Venti and not Jean, Lisa or Amber. Aether would never be able to face them again if they were to find out.

“Morax’s happiness is on the line here! Can’t you cut us some slack?” Venti tried to bargain.

“You say that you only need one book, didn’t you?” Diluc finally spoke up. “Take one and return the rest to wherever they came from. That should be fine, shouldn’t it, Knight of Favonius?”

“Certainly,” Kaeya easily agreed.

“Thank you so much, Diluc! Kaeya!” Aether and Paimon cheered while Venti looked disappointed.

“Aww, I have to give all of these back?” He looked at them with teary eyes.

“Were you planning on doing anything with them?” Diluc’s sharp gaze was immediately locked onto the Anemo god.

“Of course not!” Venti laughed before glancing down at the pile of books, then to Aether. “So…which one shall we take?”

“Wouldn’t any one of them work?” Aether asked in confusion.

“Hmm, take this for example!” Venti held out two books. “One is about a woman and a man, while the other is about two men. Which one does Xiao need?”

“O-of course it’s…!!” Aether stammered, taking a look at Diluc and Kaeya before quickly hissing out the last part. “That second one!”

“Then does he want a book with words, or pictures?”

“Huh?”

“Are there any specific positions they want to do it in?”

“T-that’s—!!”

“And what kind of kinks do they—”

“Just something educational!” Aether frantically shouted to stop Venti from talking. He felt like he was going to die from embarrassment at this rate.

When he turned to look at the other two men, he saw Diluc with one hand covering his face while Kaeya was smiling weirdly at him.

Someone let him die.

“Guess we have no choice but to look through them all!”

“How did you reach that conclusion?!” Aether’s shout was so high that his voice ended up cracking.

At this point, Diluc had finally had enough and headed for the door.

“Oh? Are you not going to help our Honorary Knight with his troubles?” Kaeya watched the Pyro user open the door.

“Unlike someone who has too much time on their hands, I have a business to run,” the redhead stated before disappearing into the hallway. The knight chuckled and followed after Diluc. On his way out, the knight grabbed Paimon by her scarf, plucking her off the air and bringing her with him.

“Hey!!” Paimon shouted, kicking and throwing her arms around, but her limbs were too short to reach the man.

“It would be best if you wait for them upstairs. Seems like they will take a while,” Kaeya said, giving the blond a wink and closed the door behind him.

Aether was blushing hard, but Venti was already ushering for him to sit down so they could start looking through the books together.

“Hey Aether, look at this one!” Venti cheerfully opened one of the illustrated Inazuma scrolls right in his face, giving the boy a clear picture of the indecent act being performed…with an octopus.

Aether had to use all of his will power not to scream.

Why was there an octopus?!

“It got an octopus in it!”

“I can see that?! You don’t need to show it to me!!” Aether cried, swatting the scroll away from his face.

“You have such a pure-hearted~” Venti giggled, rolling up the scroll and setting it aside. “Alright, I won’t tease you anymore. Let’s start looking for something you can give to Xiao.”

Aether nodded, still red in the face as he picked up the book closest to him. Since all of these covers were blank, it was hard to tell the contents without looking inside. The moment Aether opened the book, he immediately regretted it as it was a picture book.

Golden eyes rounded upon the sight of a man lying on the bed, his head thrown back with his mouth opened and eyes closed. The look on his face could only be described as ecstasy with spurts of white splattered over his body. With his legs pulled apart, Aether was given a clear view of another man’s appendage, going into the...

The blond frantically snapped the book shut, but the image was already engraved into his brain…

“There’s surprisingly a lot of novels here. Well, then again it might be not so surprising. Some nations have strict rules on the picture ones. This would be good since words can go into details of how it’s done!” Venti mumbled while scavenging through the books and oblivious to Aether’s inner terror.

“We should pick out the ones with males only and put them into a pile!”

“Uwah, this one is a bit extreme, but hey, surely that brute would be into it!”

“Hilichurl? Huh, people sure are imaginative these days.”

“Woah, a Regisvines? Wouldn’t you freeze to death? Wait…did Regisvines have tentacles like these? Oh, they’re roots…?”

“Hmm, as I thought, there’s not too many with only males—oh! Hey Aether! Look at this! This one’s from Fontaine!”

“Aha, here’s another one! Come now Aether, help me out here!”

“Aether? Are you listening?”

“Aether?”

“Aether!”

…They found a book thirteen hours later.

✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

“Are you sure you guys were finding a book and not gone off to fight monsters?” Paimon asked, hovering over Aether who was lying in the carriage with a folded cloth shielding his eyes from the morning light.

“Ehe, don’t mind him!” Venti smiled. “He’ll be fine after getting some sleep.”

“You two sure took your time! Paimon fell asleep waiting for you!”

“There were too many things to sort through. Besides,” the archon gestured to the carriage they were in. “If we didn’t take an entire night, how would we be able to hitch a ride on the Dawn Winery shipping cart that is heading to Liyue?”

“Why are you so proud when it’s Master Diluc who gave us the ride?” Paimon huffed before looking down at the book the two had taken an entire night to choose. Judging by the hardcover and the form of the book, it originated from Mondstadt. Since there wasn’t anything on the front or the back of the book, Paimon couldn’t tell what kind of content was inside.

“Soooo…” She looked up at Venti with a sly grin. “What book did you guys choose in the end?”

“Hmm, I would advise against reading it. It’s not something for the faint of heart~” Venti winked and began playing music on his lyre. Paimon puffed, but she floated down, sitting in the corner of the carriage and listened to the archon’s music.

The journey back to Liyue was peaceful. Even when there were nearby monster attacks, Diluc’s men were able to fend them off so there was no need for Venti or Aether to intervene. Because the Dawn Winery carriage was heading towards Qingce village, the three had to get off around Stone Gate and walk the rest of the way to Guili Plains.

This time, there was no need for Aether to call for Xiao. The moment they arrived at their destination, Xiao appeared in a flicker of green light.

“Lord Barbatos,” he greeted politely, nodding his head towards the Anemo Archon.

Aether and Paimon stared at Xiao, then to Venti who puffed out his chest with pride. Sometimes, they both forget that Barbatos was a huge deal due to the archon’s behaviour and the little respect the bard named Venti gets in Mondstadt…

“It’s been a long time, Xiao! Almost a millennia, I believe?” Venti greeted.

“Yes,” Xiao responded curtly. “What brought you to Liyue?”

“I ran into our dear traveller here back in Mondstadt and heard about Morax’s proposal to you, so I decided to come along!”

“I see.” The adeptus glanced to Aether. “I trust you’ve brought the items?”

“Yes, here they are.” Aether handed over the basket of Cecilias and the book.

“What are you planning on doing with those Cecilias?” Venti asked curiously.

“They are for the Cleansing pills.”

“Cleansing pills? What’s that?” Paimon inquired.

“Adepti do not indulge themselves in mortal desires,” Venti explained for the pair. “Stuff like alcohol, gambling, food, baths…things human usually need or do for pleasure! While older adepti don’t need to eat because their power is strong enough to sustain themselves, the same can’t be said for the younger ones. To prevent them from having worldly desires or cravings for things they shouldn’t, they created all kinds of special pills for convenience—like pills for hunger, pills for meditations and so on. The Cleansing pills are for when they want to wash their body. Toss one into the bathtub, dip in a viola! You’ll be clean and refreshed in no time! Pretty handy when you’re suffering from a hangover!”

“Wait, you mean they don’t need to eat at all? But Adeptus Xiao ate!” Paimon pointed at Xiao who crossed his arms over his chest and shifted his weight to his right foot.

“Eating is but a choice for us,” he said before narrowing his eyes at the wind god disapprovingly. “The Cleansing pill purifies the body and soul. It is not to be used to consume more alcohol.”

“You say the same thing as Morax,” Venti groaned. “But if I remember correctly, isn’t the Cleansing pill made with the herbs in Liyue? Why do you need Cecilias?”

“Many herbs have been lost in the flow of time and the changes within the formation of land,” Xiao replied rather patiently, to both Aether and Paimon’s surprise. “Madame Ping has informed me that the properties of Cecilia are similar to the herb I am missing.”

“Ah, Madame Ping! I haven’t seen her since I’ve last visited Liyue Harbour!” Venti nodded.

“If you’ll excuse me, I will take my leave.”

“Hey now! It’s been so long since we last spoke! Don’t be so eager to leave!” Venti hurriedly blocked Xiao’s path. “Even if you read that book, would you even know what you need to do?”

That made Xiao stop. For the first time, his emotionless mask cracked, revealing a lost look on his face as he stared at the book inside the basket of flowers.

“On the other hand, Aether and I had learned quite a lot! I’m sure we can help you with your studies!”

Aether’s head immediately snapped to Venti in disbelief. He opened his mouth to object, but Xiao beat him to it.

“I will humbly take you on your offer, lord Barbatos.”

“Wait, Adeptus Xiao, let’s not—”

“Perfect! In exchange, give us some of your Cleansing pills! Surely you’ll have extras once you are done!”

“I will only require a few. You may have the rest once I’ve refined them,” Xiao swiftly agreed.

“Wait—!”

With that, Aether was dragged away to Wangshu Inn by Venti with Xiao walking at the front and Paimon trailing behind. When the boss of Wangshu Inn saw the green-haired adeptus, she quickly organized the most luxurious room for them.

That was how Aether found himself locked within the room with one adeptus, one archon and one book between them. Paimon had slipped away at some point, no doubt stuffing her belly with food right now.

Aether was sitting there nervously, watching Xiao open the book to reveal the fine texts printed over the white pages. In the end, Aether and Venti picked out an erotic novel instead of illustrated ones. The blond had feared that the picture books would be too…too graphic for the adeptus to handle. At the very least, he couldn’t handle it, so they chose a novel instead with milder tastes.

“Start over here,” Venti told Xiao, flipping to the middle of the book where there was a red bookmark.

Xiao didn’t ask any questions and read from there. With the way those bright yellow eyes narrowed seriously and that pale hand covering his chin and mouth, Aether would think he was trying to decipher some sort of code rather than reading a sex scene.

“This doesn’t make sense,” Xiao said after only looking through the first page. “Why must you prepare the other person?”

“It’s called stretching! It’s so the person who tops could enter the person who bottoms easier!” Venti replied lightly.

“It’s muscles,” the adeptus deadpanned. “It should be the same if you relax.”

“Well, I suppose that makes sense, but it would be bad if anything tears, right?”

“Such insignificant wounds are hardly anything to mention.”

“But wouldn’t Morax mind even if there is a tiny bit of injury? He might feel responsible, you know?”

Xiao’s brow twitched, but he didn’t say anything about that anymore and moved to the next topic he couldn’t understand.

“What of this oil? What is the purpose of this?”

“It’s so your lord could go in easier and let him feel good, of course!”

Xiao nodded and went on to the next one.

Aether buried his face into his hands. After that first question, Venti has mastered the art of explaining things to Xiao—by telling him that everything was for Zhongli’s sake and how it could benefit Zhongli.

“Positions are an important part of sex!! You should let Morax see your face when you guys do it!”

“Why is that?”

“Well, surely he would want to know whether or not you are feeling good?”

“My pleasure matters not.”

“But it will to Morax! His pride will be hurt if you don’t feel good! That’s the same as saying he's bad lay!”

“A bad what?”

��It means you think he’s impotent~”

“…!!”

Aether’s golden eyes shifted to Xiao who looked as though he had swallowed a whole Electro slime, then to Venti who was smiling way too brightly than he should in such a situation. It was obvious that the archon was enjoying this way too much and Xiao was too clueless to see it.

The blond weighed the pros and cons of intervening before deciding to keep his mouth shut. While Aether never had any sexual experiences, reading porn and erotic novels for thirteen hours straight gave him some…insight to things. Even if Venti was seemingly playing around with Xiao, the Anemo Archon was in fact giving Xiao the best advice that could bring him and Zhongli closer together.

“There are also techniques you must master! You also need to know what Morax’s kinks are.”

“…Kinks?” Xiao frowned, clearly not understanding the definition of the word.

Aether’s mouth fell open, gawking at Venti like he had grown a second head.

And so, Venti began a list of every kink that was possible to mankind. Some of which Aether saw in the stacks of porn, but most he never even heard of and was certain the god was making this up as he went!

By the end of Venti’s long rambling, Aether’s jaw was pretty much touching the floor and Xiao…

Xiao was shaking with long bangs falling over his face. With his head dipped low, the blond couldn’t see what expression he has right now.

“I have no idea…that this requires so much skill…!!” Xiao whispered before promptly getting up. “I must request my lord to reconsider. As I am now, I can’t possibly be his partner.”

“Wait! Wait, Adeptus Xiao!” Aether jumped up—or at least, he tried. Distracted by Venti’s rambling, he didn’t even realize how numb his legs were and he ended up smacking into the floor with his hands grabbing onto Xiao’s ankle.

It was a good thing Xiao had stopped when he called out, otherwise Aether can’t imagine what would become of him if he made the adeptus fall flat on his face.

“You haven’t finished the book yet! Why don’t you look through the book first?”

Xiao considered the traveller’s words for a moment before he sat back down and picked up the book once more. Aether secretly let out a small breath of relief before shooting the god an accusing look. Venti responded with a guilty smile while scratching the back of his head, knowing he went overboard. Although the bard didn’t think he was wrong. Who knew what sort of weird kinks that old grandpa would develop after over two thousand years of yearning?

Now that he wasn’t asking questions every other sentence he encountered, Xiao’s reading speed increased a lot. In no time at all, he finished the sex scene and the milder contents inside calmed him greatly.

“I’m sure all those—erm, kinks that Venti mentioned don’t apply to Zhongli.” Aether made sure to shoot another look at Venti. “At least, I don’t think he would want to be tied up and lick your feet or make you lick his feet.”

“I have no issue if my lord asks me to lick his feet,” the Yaksha responded with absolute seriousness. “It’s…I cannot imagine making…making him…” The thought was so terrifying to Xiao that he couldn’t even finish the sentence.

“No, they are equally bad!” Aether wanted to crack open the adeptus’ skull to see what was inside that head of his!! In fact, he also wanted to crack open Venti’s! What in the world was the archon thinking trying to stuff these ideas to Xiao knowing he’ll take them seriously?!

“Calm down, Aether. You’re gonna burst a vein,” Venti laughed and Aether briefly entertained himself with the idea of throwing Wei—the stray cat at the front counter—at the cat-allergic god.

He can’t rely on Venti anymore, so he needed to do this by himself.

“Adeptus Xiao, has Zhongli ever given you anything?”

“The medicine you delivered to me was from him, was it not?” Xiao asked back.

“Well, yeah, but has he given anything that was…infused with his power?”

“…He has.”

“What was it?!” Aether’s reaction was a bit over the top, but he couldn’t help it. With so many things going on, he felt like he was going to die from a headache if he didn’t get one thing sorted out.

Instead of replying, Xiao held out his hand and his weapon materialized within his palm.

This was the first time Aether has seen Xiao's weapon, yet the moment he laid eyes upon it, he found himself thinking how there was no weapon in this world better suited for Xiao than this. The spear in Xiao's hand was by far the most beautiful spear Aether has ever seen. The weapon had an elegant emerald body with the bright green spearhead crafted from the finest jade. There were fix smaller jades—three on each side—spreading out like wings. Even without touching it, the blond could feel power radiating from the weapon much like its wielder.

“Ah, the Primordial Jade Winged-Spear!” Venti immediately recognized the weapon. He then turned to the clueless blond and explained, “it’s a weapon Morax made for Xiao. During the archon war, there was not a single god who did not know of Xiao and the spear he wielded. This close up, I can certainly feel Morax’s energy flowing within.”

“Aside from this, was there anything else Zhongli had given you?” Aether asked. A very bad feeling was creeping up on him, but he didn’t want to believe it…

“No,” the adeptus replied with absolute certainty, crushing what little hope Aether had left.

The last bit of energy left the blond, but he slammed his palms into the floor, stubbornly hanging onto his sanity.

One mystery was now solved.

The gift Zhongli mentioned…it was definitely this Primordial Jade Winged-Spear.

The courting gift Zhongli had given Xiao was a weapon…and of all times he gave it to him, it had to be during a war?!

How could anyone not misunderstand?!

“T-then did Zhongli say anything when he gave that to you?” Aether asked in his last attempt of struggle.

“He said he hoped I would accept,” Xiao’s gaze was distant as he remembered the past. “That was the day, I devoted myself to serving him.”

THUD

“…What are you doing?” Xiao frowned at the human lying on the floor.

“Eh…his legs must be numbed. Humans tend to have this issue when they sit too long, don’t mind him!” Venti waved and picked up the erotic novel. “Let’s continue!”

Xiao nodded and the two went back to discussing the book, ignoring the worldly-outlander slowly withering away on the floor.

✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

“Hold on…you’re saying that the gift Zhongli gave Adeptus Xiao was his weapon and when he said he hoped Adeptus Xiao would accept…Adeptus Xiao misunderstood it as Zhongli asking if he would serve under him?!”

Aether hid his face behind his hands. Hearing Paimon repeated everything in his head out loud made the situation even more ridiculous.

After getting down the basics of how intercourse works, Xiao needed to work on making the Cleansing pills and left the inn, telling them to come back after three days to give them their portion of the pills.

So now they were back at Liyue Harbour, strolling around the streets since the last time Venti visited Liyue was centuries ago. The archon was running around the street, taking in the sights of the city while Aether explained the situation to Paimon.

“As I thought, this is all Morax’s fault,” Venti sighed all too happily, coming back with a steam bun in hand. “I figured that blundering buffoon couldn’t do a proper confession, but to think it would be to this extent.”

“Where did you get that steam bun?” Paimon asked, knowing full well the archon had no Mora on him.

“The old lady at the stall was nice enough to give me one after listening to one of my stories!” Venti took a bite into the hot bun and let out a satisfied hum. “Hmm! It’s been so long since I’ve tasted Liyue’s delicacies.”

Seeing the joy on the god’s face, Aether couldn’t help but smile and said, “let’s go to Wanmin Restaurant. We can talk while we eat there.”

“Now you’re talking Paimon’s language!” Paimon cheered. “Maybe Xiangling would be there!”

“Oho, I have heard of the name Xiangling. She is quite famous!” Venti nodded, taking another bite of his bun. “Ah, by the way…does this restaurant have any alcohol?”

“I’m sure they do, but…” Aether wanted to point out how none of them looked to be of legal drinking age, but Venti waved him off.

“Come on, you need to learn to live a little or you’ll end up becoming one of those block of rocks that can’t—”

“Oh? That can’t what?” A deep voice came from behind them, causing Venti to turn into the very stone he was mocking.

“Zhongli!” Aether turned to see Zhongli standing behind them with his arms crossed over his chest and those Cor Lapis coloured eyes glaring down at a certain archon.

“Aah, if it isn’t my dear old friend!!” Venti’s tune immediately changed as he spun on his heels and greeted his old friend. “I heard you’re going by the name of Zhongli now, yes? How is the life of retirement fairing for you?”

“How about we talk somewhere less conspicuous?” Zhongli suggested, though he wasn’t talking to Venti, but at Aether and Paimon.

They ended up booking a private room at the Liuli Pavilion with Venti and Zhongli listing out their orders to the waitress. Aether could already hear the sound of Mora leaving his wallet because there was no way these two broke gods would be able to afford any of it.

Once their meals were brought up, the waitresses closed the door on their way out, giving them full privacy. Finally, Aether found the opportunity to speak. He decided to start by telling Zhongli about Xiao asking for him to wait a week—or if he was to count the days that were already lost, to wait for five more days.

“I see,” Zhongli said with a small smile on his lips. “You have my thanks.”

“No, we uh, still haven’t figured out what he likes yet,” Aether said guiltily. To be honest, he had completely forgotten about that part with the porn and everything else going on.

“Wouldn’t anything be fine? That child is blindly devoted to you,” Venti chipped in from the sideline, but was ignored by Zhongli completely.

“It’s alright if you cannot find out. I know that it is difficult to get him to talk about himself.” Zhongli said with a soft sigh. “I have tried in the past, but he never gives me his opinion and only agrees with everything I say…”

“So that’s why you wanted us to ask!” Paimon gasped, finally understanding.

“What did I say? Blind devotion,” Venti lamented.

It was then that Zhongli finally spared some of his time to the other god. “Barbatos, why are you here?”

“Can’t I visit an old friend?” The Anemo Archon blinked those large, forest green eyes innocently.

“Venti was helping us gather some materials for Adeptus Xiao.” Aether quickly explained, not wanting Zhongli to think Venti was here to meddle.

“Materials?”

“Your little Xiao is refining some Cleansing pills so he asked our dear friend here to get some from Mondstadt.”

“Then he must have needed the Cecilias,” Zhongli nodded in understanding. “I should have told him I have already prepared the Cleansing pills. That is an oversight on my part.”

“He just started. We can tell him that you already have it prepared?” Aether offered.

“No, that’s alright.” Zhongli shook his head lightly. “I am happy that Xiao is taking the initiative. Traditionally, it is the one that proposed the courting be responsible for the preparations.”

That’s because he had no idea he was being courted—Aether wanted to say, but held himself back.

“What kind of preparations?” Paimon questioned with a tilt of her head.

“You know how male birds attract female birds by being pretty and all?” Venti cut in when Zhongli parted his lips to respond. “They must also build a nest and prepare the food. If the female likes the home they made, they stay with the male!”

“Barbatos,” Zhongli’s tone dropped and he glared at the other god. “Do not compare the courtship of adepti to that of animals.”

“Aren’t you all closer to animals than humans anyway? And besides, Xiao’s technically a bird.”

“Comparing Xiao to a bird is a grave insult. You say this knowing I am in the middle of courtship with him. Are you testing my patience?”

“I would never! I simply thought our friends here would understand better if I explain it that way!” Venti countered.

“Do not believe in this bard’s nonsense,” Zhongli said to Aether and Paimon. “The act of intimacy is important within our courting traditions. It is the first exchange of our adeptial powers, one cannot take it lightly. Therefore, it must be located in a place where we cannot be disturbed.”

“So…like a vacation home?” Paimon summarized.

“Yes, you can say that.”

“A vacation home…” Aether perked up when an idea popped into his head. “Zhongli, do you already have a place prepared?”

“Yes, I am thinking of Jueyun Karst. It is the only place with few mortals thus we would not be disturbed. I have already informed the adepti living there of this matter.” Zhongli paused when he saw the disappointment on Aether’s face. “Do you perhaps have an idea?”

“Oh no, if you already prepared it then it’s alright!”

“Plans can always change. I want to hear your thoughts on the matter.”

“Well, it didn’t seem like Adeptus Xiao have a home like the other adepti. Even when we sit down to talk, it’s at Wangshu Inn. I thought it would be nice if he could have his own place.” The blond said, scratching his cheeks. When he looked up to Zhongli, the archon was sitting there, staring at him with his eyes wide.

“Yes…that is…” Zhongli mumbled to himself before bringing a hand up to cover his mouth. “It has been a long time since…perhaps now…”

“Uh, Zhongli?” Aether called, successfully snapping Zhongli back to reality.

“My apologies,” the man heaved out a deep breath. “It is only natural you do not know of this, but the Wangshu Inn is established for the purpose of supporting Xiao.”

“Eh?! What do you mean?” Paimon flew up from her seat.

“The Wangshu Inn is created by a secret organization within the Qixing. To be precise, it started with an agent, but it grew and expanded into an organization over time.”

“Then the boss of the Wangshu Inn…” Aether trailed off, remembering the woman always sitting behind the front counter. Now that he thought about it, there was always something strange about her…like how casual she was when mentioning Xiao and even took in ghosts that Xiao brought over.

“If you are referring to Verr Goldet, her real allegiance is to that organization within the Qixing.”

“And the Almond Tofu that Adeptus Xiao loves to eat?!” Paimon gasped.

“The Almond Tofu is also created for Xiao,” Zhongli answered.

“Let me guess, that agent that started the whole thing was you, Morax?” Although it was a question, there was a knowing look on Venti’s face as he grinned at his fellow archon.

“I will not deny my involvement, but the Wangshu Inn is the result of the people’s gratitude towards Xiao.”

“And of course, Xiao is oblivious to all that~” The Anemo Archon sighed wistfully.

“He doesn’t know?!” Paimon stared at Zhongli with wide eyes.

“If he finds out the truth behind Wangshu Inn, he will not go there anymore.” The Geo Archon had a troubled look on his face. “He is a stubborn one and does not easily accept help from others. That is why you must keep this a secret.”

“Of course! Paimon will never tell anyone!”

“Your secret’s safe with us.” Aether nodded.

Then, the two turned towards Venti who straightened under their gaze. “Why are you two looking at me like that? You think I would tattle?”

“True…the tone-deaf bard may be annoying at times, but he can keep a secret!”

“Thank you for your compliments,” the god chuckled.

“Since he got a place already, I guess there’s no need for a home, huh?” Aether laughed lightly.

“Not necessarily. You have given me a better idea.” Zhongli looked at the blond gratefully. “I cannot thank you enough.”

“Oh…I’m glad I could help?”

“I have one more favour to ask of you.”

“What is it?” Aether asked rather cautiously. He couldn’t help it, not after what Xiao asked them to do…

“You say that Xiao is refining the Cleansing pills right now?”

“Yeah, he told us to come back in three days and he’ll give some to us!” Paimon beamed. Even if it wasn’t Mora, it was still a reward for their efforts. Besides, if it was something made by an adeptus, surely it would sell for a hefty price!

“Three days…that leaves two,” Zhongli muttered. “That is plenty enough time. I want to ask you to lure Xiao away from Guili Plains for the remainder of those two days. Preferably somewhere up north—around Qingce village. ”

“But…would he leave with us?” Aether frowned. The whole reason Xiao spoke to them in the first place was because they were delivering his medicine and that he needed their help. As for their time at Wangshu Inn…that was because of Venti. If not for the Anemo Archon, Aether doubted that he would be able to convince the Yaksha to go anywhere with him.

Zhongli was conflicted as well. He knew that his request this time was too much to ask of the traveller. Even he couldn’t think of any convincing ways for them to get Xiao to leave the plains he dwelled upon for so long.

“Ahem!” Venti cleared his throat, letting his presence be remembered. “Might I offer a solution to that? Of course, it will come with a small price~”

“I will give you three gallons of the finest Osmanthus wine in Liyue.” Zhongli was quick to take up the bard’s offer. Putting their many disagreements aside, Venti was still an archon and the one who gave Xiao his Vision. The younger god may be childish, a drunkard, slacks off from his duties and overall a disgrace to the arts…but he was an old friend Zhongli could rely on when push comes to shove.

“Deal!” Venti chirped, snatching up a Lotus Flower Crisp and bit off the fluffy pastry petal.

Aether smiled and raised his chopsticks. “Well then, let’s eat before the food gets cold.”

“Finally!” Paimon let out an exaggerated sigh, picking up her plate and chopsticks with her eyes sparkling as she gazed upon the food. Zhongli let out a small chuckle and joined in as well.

At that time, Aether had no idea what sort of disaster his innocent suggestion was about to bring to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, the adepti and the Treasure Hoarders located in Guili Plains.

Likewise, he was also oblivious to the new hell that awaited him at Qingce village…

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#zhongli #xiao #genshin impact #genshin xiao #aether x venti #xiao x zhongli #genshin fanfic #Genshin Impact fanfiction

[windhamsrotunda]

Edge (Adam Copeland) x Female Reader! - Tongue Tied {PT 1}.

Pairing(s) - Edge (Adam) x Female Reader! (Y/N)

Category - FLUFF AND SMUT.

Summary - Edge and Y/N are in a long distance relationship, they have known each other for over 2 years. One day, Edge and Y/N finally meet; And so on.

Requested By - N/A

Warning(s) - Strong Language, Smut and FLUFF.

Word Count - 1k+

Tagging(s) - @theonelazywolf, @hplightoutlander, @mackenzie2597, @lghockey , @hungmanhorsecarriage, @heelstylerollins , @enigmaticandunstable, @ava-valerie, @snarkandsarcasmftw, @rosyredapples, @ringer04, @junglecassidy 💓

It all started with a "Hello?" over the video call from Adam: "Hey! It's Edge. How are you doing lovely?" He asked Y/N, his online best friend of two years. "I'm doing good actually since you've called! Thank you for asking!" A smile crept on the face of Edge, his smile was brighter than ever. "So, anything new with you, Edge?" She asked over the video call, smiling back at him. "Other than working out and taking care of life; I've recently won the Royal Rumble." Edge said proudly, proud of what he accomplished. 

"I've saw! I was so damn excited for you! What championship are you going after?" Inquired Y/N. Edge had to think long and hard - Then came up with: "I've never held the NXT Championship." "Well, I think per say if you do go after the NXT Champion, you'll do just fine!" She smiled. Edge and Y/N spent over 2 hours on the phone. "Can I ask you something that has been on my mind for a really long time?" Asks Y/N bravely, trying not to mess this conversation up. "Of course, give me something."

"I was wondering… Can we meet in real life sometime?" She covered her face, "No no… I think it's too soon---" Edge cut her off nicely, "No! Never too soon or too early to meet! Sure! What's the day and time so that I know what my schedule will look like?" She was in utter shock that her best friend of 2 years online had even said yes: "Umm. Whenever you're ready. I know you're a real busy person; So am I. But let me know when you're free okay?" "Okay, will do." "Thanks, I gotta go; It was nice talking to you over the phone again Edge!" She smiled once again, watching him wave bye before they hung up. And so, she hung up. "Shit. This is it." She thought. "This is going to be the end of me."

Well, a nice "end of her". Not a detrimental one. Laying in bed, she glanced over the clock: "Damn. 10pm? Can't be that late." She always thought whether 10 or 11 at night was late: Thoughts traced back to the first conversation on Instagram Edge and Y/N had begun. The time where he supported Y/N throughout the whole 2 years; Through it all: The good times, and the bad times. "I'm so tired, I might as well go to sleep." She groans, but Edge was on her mind. Rethinking about how they're going to meet, how they're going to hug. How they're actually going to start a real life conversation.

***AT THE AIRPORT***

As Edge was ready to fly off to Oxford, PA; Where Y/N had lived, He texted her: "I am on my way to Oxford, Pennsylvania. :)" Less than a minute later, Y/N responded back quickly. "Can't wait to meet you, Edge!" He read the text and smiled to himself. Pushing his phone into his back pocket, he put his mask on over his face - Due to this COVID-19 Pandemic, he had to sit by himself, socially distant. It was an 8 hour airplane fly; He found himself trying to bring up the courage to say he liked her more than a best friend. Inserting his headphones in his ears, he listened to Foo Fighters "Times Like These". Soon after that, he fell right asleep on the plane, knowing it was going to be a long airplane ride.

***8 HOURS LATER***

"Arrived." Edge's phone had said vocally as if it was Siri. "Here I am. Now, off to Y/N's house." He thinks, very confidently. He grabbed his luggage, and headed his way to a Taxi. Getting in, he sat down, until the guy who was driving the Taxi asked dumbfounded: "Are… Are you Edge!?" Edge responded with: "You think you know me?" Jokingly, then said: "Yes I am." "Where are we off to, Edge?" The Taxi driver inquires. "*insert random address here*" He told the driver, the driver nodded and drove to that exact location. While waiting on his arrival, he tapped his foot on the taxi flooring nervously; "This is it. This is going to be the end of me." Swallowing hard, a lump in his throat had made its way in. You could tell Edge was extremely nervous, his hands were sweating, a bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face - Doing this for Y/N meant more than anything in the world - He wanted to make her happy, and himself happy.

 "Remember, don't fuck this up." Thinking to himself, Edge arrived at Y/N's house. Taking deep breaths, he stepped out of the Taxi and watched the Taxi driver smile at him, then pull out of the driveway and sped off. He wanted to make this a surprise ---

Stepping up on Y/N's doorstep, he knocked on the door. Waiting for an answer for at least a good 30 seconds, she answered. Then, stopped dead in her tracks. "E-Edge?" Her mouth flung open, "I…. I didn't know you arrived or anything--" He cut her off with a huge sudden hug. She began to cry on his shoulder, sobbing. "I'm so glad I'm here." Edge whispered in her ear, stroking her back. "I'm glad too." Stepping inside, still attached to each other in an embrace, he kicked the door closed with his foot. "God I love you." He announced aloud, Y/N's face was a shocked facial expression. "I love you too…. Edge." She slowly said, with no questioning behind his secret love for her.

"You know, I wanted to tell you this. My gut in my stomach was making me want to tell you this for a  long time." He continued on: "I'm in love with you. I always dreamt of being with you, and… And holy shit, is this real." He laughed, turning his attention all on Y/N. "Y/N, I want to love you as much as I can. Physically, Spiritually. You know." Y/N was lost for words, he ran his fingers through his best friend's hair: "Y/N L/N, I fucking love you. Lots." She was in her own feelings, her cheeks heated; Blushing madly like a mad woman, Y/N stopped Edge's rambling and kissed him. Edge kissed her, no hesitant reaction. Holding her into place, they made out. Fireworks spurted through both of the stomachs of Y/N and him, "I love you I love you." He muttered in between those breaths he shared with his best friend.

Y/N smiled, "I love you more." Hands calloused against the face of Edge, she slid the cardigan off of his shoulders and dropped it to the floor. He pulled away, "Wait. Are you sure you want to do this?" He looked in the eyes of Y/N dead serious, "Yes." Was what she said. Silence broke between the two, he undid his bun that was perfectly fit into his hair - "You wanna go first?" He asked, not wanting to force anything on her. "You haven't seen me naked before…" "Can I go first?" A gentle smile appeared on the face of Edge, slowly taking his shirt off. Revealing his 6 pack and biceps, he looked at his shirt in his hand, looked at Y/N who was staring at him. A dark smirk appeared on his face - "Are you lost, baby girl?" His eyes eager, Y/N kicked her heels off, and approached him. "I'm lost with you." She smirked back.

A tease. Thought Y/N in her head, kissing the neck of Edge, he softly moaned in her ear. "Mhm." He placed a hand behind her neck, pulling her close. "I want you, damn all of you." She growled, Edge accepted the invitation, grasped her thighs, pulled her up to his level and smashed his lips against hers once more. Feeling pretty sure and confident of herself, she slowly undid her blouse. As Edge watched on, she undid herself faster. Dropping it to the hardwood floor, Y/N felt her heart hit through the floor; When she saw his bulge in his pants get bigger. "Such a good girl." The Rated R Superstar spoke softly, in a teasing tone. His eyes glanced up at his best friend, then down at his belt buckle. Undoing it, Edge pulled his pants down to his ankles and kicked them off. A. Tease. Thinks Y/N more, liking what she saw.

Edge was now on top of her, face buried in the arch of her neck, moaning hot breaths and plunging deep down. They shared moans, Y/N grabbed a fistful of his hair and screamed when he hit that spot. "I love you, I love you so fucking much." Was Edge's words before collapsing down on her, knees weak and body in pleasure. Panting, she rolled herself over on the other side. "Edge… I want you to know this: I'll love you til' the day I die. Alright?" Panting, he kissed her on the forehead. "I'll take your promise - And I guarantee you will. I will do the same in honor." Stroking her hair, they fell asleep together after a long night of love making.

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