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#jily angst
petals2fish · 1 month
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The way Jily angst is so fucking entertaining…
I mean even if they’re in a dungeon, and both characters are bleeding out after torture, they still manage to flirt their way through the disaster. Bantering is their coping mechanism !!!!!!!
It’s so funny when one of them causally drops the, "Now seems like the best time to tell you this…" bombshell, prompting a curious raise of eyebrows.
"What?" the other responds, only to be met with, "it’s taken three months to admit this but…I ate your last blueberry scone."
A flabbergasted "You're the scone thief?!" follows, to which the first retorts, "I felt safe confessing it considering you're chained to the wall."
It typically concludes with a teasing "Wait till I'm unchained," met with a cheeky "Your bed or mine?"
I MEAN ITS JUST SO GOOD AND I EAT IT UP EVERY TIME
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tinyluminaryzombie · 2 months
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@jilymicrofics | March Prompt #27 - Satisfied | 316 words ~(angsty and a bit steamy)~
Tonight may be the most self-serving Lily’s ever been. 
She’s also sure it will lead to her ruin. 
Lily snaked her hand around James’s under the table two hours ago. She didn’t think to question why he squeezed her hand tight and started whispering jokes in her ear. 
Two hours ago it didn’t matter. Because their intertwined hands were resting on Lily’s leg. It was almost everything she wanted. The universe had fulfilled one-half of her wish and Lily was too afraid to shatter the moment to ask why. She didn’t ask for more, beg for complete satisfaction. No, instead, she took an incomplete dream and ran.
From peeling clothes off her skin to placing her head on a stack of two pillows, James has barely let go of her hand. His determination to always be touching makes Lily want to say things she shouldn’t. Things she’s thought about for way too long and things that could never be taken back. 
It’s on repeat in her brain, right next to the touch of his lips against hers. She’s in love with James. 
“Lils, you still good?” James asks, one finger pulling her lip from her teeth. 
She could change her mind right now and he’d stop in an instant. She knows that he’d be okay with anything she’d want to do. James Potter might not be in love with her, but he’d rather die than hurt anyone he cares about. 
Lily knows the reality of their (lack of) relationship will sting in the morning. She’ll probably cry and hide under the covers for the day. But, she wants this, with James, even if it’s only tonight. 
For once, she is reckless. 
James not loving her will be Future Lily’s problem. 
“Of course,” she breathes out, letting go of James’s hand to rest hers on his neck, pulling him closer. 
How could anything this good be bad?
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pandalilysavior · 9 months
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lookalike is very much jily looking down on sirius when he’s with harry
“when you look in his eyes do you think of mine” lily to sirius
“when you look at his smile do i cross your mind // i know in your head you see me instead // cause he looks a lot like i did back then” JAMES TO SIRIUS
losing my mind actually
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chaoticmultifandom28 · 6 months
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Jily angst prompt where they were each other’s second choice. Like they loved each other but they weren’t in love with each other. Regulus was James’ first choice but he joined the death eaters and then died. Pandora (or Mary, I love Marylily and Pandolily equally) was Lily’s first choice but she never confessed and Pandora married Xeno (or if it was Mary, it was too late, Mary started withdrawing from the wizarding world and Lily couldn’t do that). Jily know that they aren’t each other’s first choice but they give each other comfort because of that
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radiohead-spiderman · 4 months
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Lily had to have shown James muggle music right, so, in 1980, they’re at the height of the war, John Lennon drops ‘Double Fantasy’, Lily’s always been a fan of the Beatles, so, James gets it.
One night after that the couple get awoken by Harry’s crying, James yawns, “I got him,” he had said. After a few too many long minutes, Lily got up and sluggishly made her way to the baby room.
James swayed as he rocked Harry back and forth, as Lily tiredly strained to hear, catching the end of James’ soft voice,
“—beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.”
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jamesunderwater · 1 month
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Dead To Me || Read Chapter 13 on Ao3 || 15.4k Words || Rated M || playlist || tag
I saw a quote once that said: "How many times have I loved a thing, just because you loved it? Including me."
This story is about love, but is not to be confused with a love story. It's about the love we should have had. The love we don't think we deserve. The crooked love we settle for. It is about how, in letting others love us, we learn to love ourselves.
Chapter 13: Sun Bleached Flies
Lily didn’t know why she’d expected Petunia to be at King’s Cross, but when she saw her mother’s small frame standing on the platform alone, her face burned with embarrassment. She ducked her head as she headed in the lone woman’s direction, trying not to watch as fellow classmates reunited with their lively families.  Rose Evans was slender in every sense of the word, her long face dragging the corners of her mouth down, the tips of her clear blue eyes swooping sadly toward the ground. Whenever Rose looked at her, Lily got the feeling her mother’s gaze wasn’t fully focused, as though one or both of her eyes were staring at something just behind Lily’s head. She let Rose pull her into a one-armed hug and said, “Hi, Mum.” Though Rose said against her daughter’s cheek, “Oh, my girl, it’s so good to see you,” her words were hollowed out on the inside. They made their way back onto the muggle platforms and out to the car park without another word, though Rose turned around to look at Lily once, as if checking she was still there. The story of Orpheus and Eurydice came to mind, and with it a brand new wave of embarrassment flooded over Lily. A lump formed in her throat. The words echoed in her mind, No one would ever try that hard to save you. No one would ever worry enough to turn around.  It was pitiful. She was pitiful. Away from the safety of her friends for less than five minutes, and already crumbling.
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afinaldream · 1 year
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“This is the last time, James,” she warns him, even as she accepts his arms around her waist and raises her head, already searching for his lips.
James chuckles, mouth only brushing hers before sliding the curve of her neck. She smells like peaches. “That is what you said last time,” he notes.
She sighs, a blend of excitement and unhappiness. “I mean it, my—” A moan escapes her lips when he finds that spot she favours under her ear. “My—my father is going to announce my betrothal.”
“Marry me instead,” he suggests without losing a breath.
Her laugh is nervous now. “You know I cannot.”
“I would ask for your hand, very proper,” he says as his hand traces her dress, places her leg around his waist. Another moan. “I will tell him I cannot stop thinking about you.”
She pants, but manages to break away from his kiss this time; her green eyes, that shade of emerald that hasn't left his mind ever since he first contemplated her weeks ago at the other side of the ballroom, are sparkling with a touch of caution.
“We agreed this would stay between us.”
“And I respected it,” he assures her. He hasn’t told a soul about their meetings, not even his friends, but now the weight of the secrecy feels suddenly unbearable.
“This was just for innocent fun.”
He nods again, though with less certainty. Few things they had done had been innocent, and though it had started just for fun, indeed, James doubted it still remained so. There was something about Miss Lily Evans that drew him to her—and she to him, he knows it.
But this is not the moment to convince her of it, not yet.
“I will not do anything that might cause you any harm,” he promises, and he knows she will hear the sincerity in his words.
She does; relief floods her eyes, and then she is kissing him, lips demandingly with the urgency of someone who believes this is their last time indeed. James lets her; no matter what her father’s marriage plans are, he will talk to Mr. Evans, and with her betrothed if needed. James is a good match, after all, and Lily… he can’t lose her. He won’t.
This is the thought that keeps him sane when they depart, and later, when he meets her at the ball and her lips are still swollen; she bows to him, very respectful, refusing to acknowledge him. He watches her as she accepts a few dances, wondering who will be her betrothed, who will hold her hand in public, who will have her kisses in private—
His mood subdues as the night goes on. Lily refuses to look in his direction even when she walks close to him, following her father to the library, and his fingers brush over the skin of her arms; she shivers but doesn’t look back as the door closes behind her.
He is alone by the time she comes back at last, his friends having left him to brood alone; James can’t blame them. He was too miserable to be in good company, and not even Sirius, who looked just as tense that night, was enough to distract him.
Lily’s eyes finally meet his; there is sorrow in her eyes, and once again James knows she doesn’t want to marry whoever she is promised to. A duel, he thinks, I will duel for her—
But Lily turns away from him; her smile is dutiful as she offers her hand to her new fiance. And James can only look as Sirius takes her hand into his and kisses it gently.
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alejandraa6002 · 1 year
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The way the marauders fandom is fuck*ng insane??? We will finish a fanfic where all the characters end up dead just so we can start another one that will have the exact same end.
We really love suffering
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thecasualauthor · 5 months
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I wrote a small Jily one shot in a hunger games au! Summary:
"My name is Lily Evans," she whispers in the dead of night, when the only sounds are the distant hum of machinery and her own labored breaths. “My name is Lily Evans, and James will come for me.”
read on ao3!
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nodirectionhome-ao3 · 6 months
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Eclipse
Written for the @jilytoberfest prompt 31: "An Alternative ending for 31 October, 1981." This is also a @jilymicro-oops using the prompt words: Blip, Flip, Clip, Rip, and Trip.
Oh...also...this is definitely a sneaky prequel to Kindly Stopped for Me, but it can easily be read independently of that fic!
Summary: On 31 October, 1981, James faces his worst fear, Lily does the impossible, and one friend is left to pick up the pieces.
Read now on AO3
Snippet:
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tiffanytoms · 6 months
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Happy Halloween 👻
Obviously this is a very bittersweet (or maybe just tragic? Yeah, probably just tragic...) holiday for Jily fans, but I thought I'd post the epilogue from my story What Are You Doing to Me? which can also work as a traumatic one shot in honor of this night!
Enjoy! 😁🎃
Halloween Night, 1981
"Babe, we can't dress him up like a stag every year," Lily teased, flicking at her husband's fake antlers, currently perched lopsidedly atop his messy-as-always hair. They matched a tinier set that very adorably adorned her young son's head, making him even more of a carbon copy of his father than usual. It hadn't been all of five minutes after James had held his son for the first time, his eyes practically morphing into hearts, when a mischievous smirk had slid onto his face.
"What?" Lily had asked skeptically, utterly exhausted.
"Lils…"
"Yes?"
"Baby…"
"Yes?" Lily had been in no mood for banter.
He grinned down to Harry. "I knew I'd be right, but—" he held up Harry to face his mum, "— I didn't realize I'd be this right."
Lily had laughed, and then promptly yelled at James because laughing right now fucking hurt. 
Yeah, so it turned out their baby looked like James, but Lily was still holding out hope that perhaps he'd act more like her. Naturally, she ignored all contrary evidence — like that he seemed born ready to fly, already had infectious charm, a whole bunch of nerve, and, you know, the fact that there seemed to be a rather familiar swagger to his first little steps. But then again, Harry was just such a good, sweet baby; and sure, Lily hadn't been around for James' infancy, but there was no way that he could have been so well-behaved back then. (James had pointed out that she was the more likely out of the two of them to throw temper tantrums, but she ignored that too.)
"Why not?" James asked innocently with puppy eyes that rivaled Padfoot's. "They still fit him, and look how happy he is!"
"And they'll keep fitting him every year since you keep transforming them larger," Lily responded. However, she lacked any true opposition in her words, because Harry really did look so over the moon to be matching his dad, emerald eyes gleaming as he leaned back in his crib, clapping his hands. She couldn't help but gush over him.
James pulled out another pair of plushie adult antlers out of his back pocket and offered them to Lily. "Is someone perhaps jealous, and in need of her own pair?"
Lily shook her head, snatching the headband and jamming it over her hair. "When'd you make this?"
"Just now, on the couch."
She grabbed both of James' cheeks, smooshing his face before kissing him between every word. "You are such a dork."
James grinned as he wrapped his arms around his wife's hips, pulling her flush against him. "I'm pretty sure you meant adorkable."
Lily smiled as she tilted her head to the side and rested her forearms on his broad shoulders. She wasn't altogether too subtle about just how much she was checking him out in this sweater, but so what? James was her husband, and her husband was a whole damn meal.
"Pretty sure I meant I'm gonna need you to…" Lily leaned into his ear and whispered something that made him flush almost instantly.
James' jaw dropped, faux-scandalized as his fingers dug into her skin possessively. "Lily!" He shook his head and laughed. "Harry's first real sentence is going to be something filthy, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself."
Lily shrugged. "I don't know about that. We could always pin it on Padfoot."
James chuckled, leaning into her as his hands roamed her back and he swooped her down for a kiss. Lily giggled as he held her there for a moment, rubbing his nose against hers. "Mrs Potter, that is simply devious."
She gave him a fresh peck. "You love it."
"I do, oh, how I do…" Harry making strange gurgling noises had them come back to standing straight. "I know, Harry, I know." Harry continued making nonsensical squeaks that James pretended to understand perfectly. "Why yes, very astute observation, son. You should be wary of red-headed minxes trying to steal your heart."
"Oh hush, you," Lily reprimanded her husband as she took Harry in her arms. He immediately started playing with her hair as she cooed to him. "Happy Halloween, Harry, happy Halloween!" She tenderly pushed his wild hair off his forehead as she bounced him. "Next year we'll take you Trick-Or-Treating," she promised hollowly. Lily missed the sad look James gave them; after all, they'd never expected to spend a second Halloween in hiding. "Even if we have to do it from under your Dada's Invisibility Cloak." Lily looked up to James, who quickly cleared his face of melancholy. "Did Albus mention when he was bringing that back, by the way?"
James shook his head. "Nah, he didn't."
Lily balanced Harry on her hip and swayed them gently. "I still don't get it. I mean, I heard the man say he has the means to turn himself invisible with my own ears. So, why's he gotta take ours?"
James sighed. "I don't know, babe." The way he said it very much implied, 'When Albus Dumbledore asks you to do something, you just do it.' His eyes landed on the camera Padfoot had dropped off on his last visit, and he instantly jumped at the chance to brighten the mood. He picked it up and pointed it his family's way. "All right, my deers! Harry, Harry— look at Dada!" Harry tittered and did so. "Okay, on the count of three, we're gonna say 'Prongs,' okay? Okay Harry: one, two, three—"
"PWONGS!"
Lily gasped as James took the shot and then practically punched the air in excitement.
"Good job, Harry!" Lily encouraged.
"Yes, Harry, yes!" He stole Harry from Lily and made him fly across the room in his arms, one of his son's all-time favorite pastimes. Harry cheered and giggled as James continued to shout, "A genius! Babe! Our baby is a bloody genius!"
Lily watched the scene, heart melting with love, sweet, sweet love. She adored her family so friggin' much, and truly would do anything to protect it.
James flew Harry back to her and removed the bulky camera strap from off his neck, managing to one-handedly make it face them as he stood by Lily's side and clutched Harry to his chest. "Here, let's get one of the whole Pwongs family."
Lily laughed as she took Harry's tiny hand and leaned into her husband. He kissed her cheek right before the flash went off, completely taking her by surprise. "Sneak attack," he joked.
Lily couldn't wait to see how the photo developed. She thought it had the potential to be one for her nightstand.
Of course, she never found out.
Only a few seconds later, the sound of their front door being blasted apart downstairs echoed across the whole house. Lily and James both jumped, making three sets of plushie antlers and the camera fall to the floor, the lens cracking sounding like a death knoll.
Lily and James turned to each other and she saw her own sickening panic reflected right back at her. No, her brain short-circuited, it's rowdy trick-or-treaters. It's the neighbors. It's Tiger. It's not… it can't be…
But she knew who it was. She had always known who was coming for her, who was still fuming over her years of evading him, who was here. This time, she feared she wouldn't be able to get away. This time, she knew she was about to die.
James reanimated first, shoving Harry into Lily's arms as he pushed her to the window. She realized they both didn't have their wands. If she recalled correctly, hers was probably still on the kitchen counter, last having been used to clean up the mess of James' attempt to make shepherd's pie from scratch. "Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off—" Seeing his wife remain frozen, he opened the window himself, only to be greeted by a solid brick wall. He yelled out in frustration, punching it to see if it was really there. "Shit!"
Voldemort had magically trapped them inside, and they'd been having too precious of a moment to notice.
Downstairs, she heard Tiger let out an almighty hiss and Voldemort cry out as though he'd been brutally scratched. It was a small victory that ended too soon when she heard that horrid spell, followed immediately by a vivid green light making the carpet just below the nursery door glow. Tiger…
"No… no…" Lily cried, squeezing Harry to her chest.
James sunk to Lily's eye level, gripping her face right in front of his own. "Lils, baby, listen to me," he whispered urgently. "Listen to me." Her terrified darting eyes, frantically searching for a way out, any way out, finally focused on his. A small wave of completely unwarranted comfort washed over her, even though tears were fully streaming down her face. "You have to protect him. I know you can do it," he told her steadily.
What he was planning to do — go down and face Voldemort and buy her time to perform her shield magic — was slowly starting to sink in. "NO. No, James, don't go, please—" she pleaded, wildly gripping for his wrist. She was holding on to both her boys, her boys; why would anyone try to take them from her? Why? "Stay! I can protect you. I can protect both of you!"
Lily's vision was swimming, but she could still so clearly feel the pain in James' gaze. "We don't know that, Lils. It's never worked at protecting two people before." His hand quivered as his thumbs swiped at her cheeks. "Maybe the only reason it hasn't been activated yet is because I'm still here."
"No, baby, no…" Lily sobbed, leaning into his palm. She knew they were running out of time, but she couldn't lose him. Not like this. "Please, don't leave—"
James was holding back his own tears as he moved in to kiss her forehead and put his hand over her heart. "I'm right here. I'll always be right here." He bent to Harry and kissed the top of his head; their son, their precious little son, let out a little laugh with the action, truly having no idea what was going on. "Save Harry?" he asked determinedly as he stood tall.
Lily jutted out her chin, summoning every ounce of strength her body had left to answer him. Her husband needed her. Her son needed her. "Yes. I will." She felt her jaw twitching, but her conviction remained solid, I'll do whatever it takes. 
James shot her a wink. "That's my girl."
He turned to leave, but Lily wasn't ready. She wanted just one more moment, one more second with her man. That wink had brought her back to a time when the possibilities had been endless, and they weren't yet cursed — even if it had felt like they were at the time. She yanked James back to her and sunk her free hand into his silky hair, kissing him like they were 16 again and he'd just cornered her against a desk to try to get her to admit that she loved him back just as much as he loved her. Only now, they both already knew.
She could faintly hear the creak of the first step, alerting them to the fact that Voldemort had deduced that they were upstairs. They were out of time. She quickly tried to imprint the feel of James' lips into her mind forever, to memorize the love she felt with Harry sandwiched between them, delighted he was getting hugged by both his parents at once — but it was over too soon. "I love you, James Potter. I've always loved you." Her voice crackled and was water-logged, but he still understood.
Lily watched as a tear escaped from one of his gorgeous hazel eyes and rolled down his cheek, over his smattering of freckles, to where his dimple should have been, where it had been not minutes ago. He tried to smirk, but his lips didn't quite make it. "I know, Lily. I love you too. Until the very end."
He turned and walked out the door, and Lily knew it was the last time she'd ever see her husband again. She threw things in front of the door, barricading them in desperately, all while knowing it was no use. She just needed to do something with her hands to distract herself from James' suicide mission and the fact that she wasn't going after him. She was trying to find a way to not completely fall apart over the fact that she'd just let her heart walk out the door and she wasn't going to protect him — the man who had always been there for her was about to die, and she was doing nothing. 
Harry babbled at her chest, a string of Mamas and Dadas, and she looked down at him to try to stop from hyperventilating without James. He looked so very much like his father. "Mama loves you," she sobbed. "Dada loves you." Why wasn't the shield working yet? What more did she bloody need? She felt like she was losing her mind.
Then she heard it. After a few taunts from James and a high-pitched cackle, she heard the worst curse in the world and felt a body crumble to the floor, reverberating through her bones and sucking out her will to live.
She knew James was dead.
Lily screamed, feeling her heart ripping in two, or maybe it was her very soul; all she knew was that he was gone, her James was gone, and she didn't— no, she couldn't be here without him. Never again would she see his smile light up the hall when he waited for her after a class they didn't share. Never again would she wake up to his eager face, ready to tell her about all the games he and Harry had already played that morning. Never again would she feel his arms wrapped around her tightly when he inevitably fell asleep as they watched a Muggle movie together on the couch. Never again. 
But, Harry. Save Harry. Harry needs you. Since when had her inner monologue sounded like James? She looked at her son, emerald eyes wide and curious, wondering why his mum was screaming bloody murder. All she could see was love. This was her child, her baby with James, who looked just like him, who was a part of him — and she was going to save him.
She felt her heart pump out its final beats for herself before lurching and bursting forth its last protective bubble, straight into Harry who was still cradled against her chest. The filmy surface was a blood red, like the purest of love, but tinged with gold flecks, the same hue as those in his father's eyes. James is golden. James' love for his son would help to protect him too, even now.
When the bubble soaked into Harry's skin, he looked straight at Lily mesmerized. She knew that awe-inspired look. It was the same one he always gave her whenever she'd start singing him a lullaby before bed. After the attack at the talent show, Lily had never sang in public ever again, and James had never asked her to sing for him either, knowing how painful the memory was for her. But she still sang for Harry, if only to see the look he was giving her right now. She wondered if that's what her magic felt like to him — like his mum was softly rocking him to sleep whilst singing him the sweetest of songs.
(She never knew it, but James would have an almost identical look on his face whenever she sang, only he'd be on the other side of the nursery door, listening in. The Potter boys both just loved her voice that much.)
As her magic got absorbed, Lily let out a shaky sigh of relief. He'll be safe. She knew Harry would grow up, be the bravest kid in all the land just like both his parents before him, it just wouldn't be with them.
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P.S. I Still Wait for You
Chapter 2/4
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Ten days before the wedding and he comes home from training to find Marlene McKinnon sitting on the low wall outside his flat, smoking a cigarette. The door is open and there’s a muggle contraption inside making an infernal noise.
“S’ up?” she says, without moving. She is the epitome of cool – backcombed blonde hair, black leather trousers, black eyeliner, The Cure t-shirt, red Doc Martins.
He raises his brow.
“Do I want to know about…?” he waves his arm vaguely in the direction of his home.
She shrugs, chips at her black nail polish, takes a long drag of the short cigarette.
“I can explain.”
He snorts, sits down beside her on the wall, and waits in companionable silence. A muggle man emerges after a while, wearing navy overalls, pencil behind his ear.
“There you are, love, all sorted,” he says, grinning at the two of them, like he’s just done them a massive favour.
“Thanks Mr. Smith. How much do we owe you?” Marlene says, stubbing out the cigarette on the wall and rummaging in her black satchel.
She pays him and watches him leave, scanning the street, hand on the wand in her pocket, eyes narrowed.
“Still worried in case a Deater follows him?” James says.
“Yup,” she nods. “Force of habit. Can’t seem to stop. Even after three years.”
“Some things don’t change easily.”
He’s talking about something else entirely and Marlene knows it.
She takes a deep breath, turns and faces him head on.
“I got a telephone installed, line’s connected now. Lily wants to ring you. She’ll phone you before the weekend, after seven some time.”
It’s simultaneously the worst and best news he has heard since she left.
“Why?” he finally manages to say.
“Because.” Marlene shrugs again. “She wouldn’t say.”
He runs a hand down his face.
“What the actual fuck.”
She stands closer to him, grabbing both his shoulders.
“Just talk to her, yeah?” she says.
Like it’s perfectly easy.
“Please. She deserves one conversation.”
He can’t seem to answer so he doesn’t. He nods, brusque.
“You’ve gone quieter in your old age,” Marlene smiles back at him, then leans in and gives him a strong hug, suffocating.
He laughs then, smiles back at her, even if it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Yeah,” he agrees.
“I love you both,” she says. “You coming Friday to the local? Dorcas’ll be there. So will the lads. She got a promotion. Assistant Editor.”
“Holy shit! Congrats!” he gives a low whistle.
“Will we see you?”
“Probably,” he says, scuffing the toe of his shoe against the concrete.
It depends on the call. It depends on what Lily says.
***
 The phone rings on Friday night, at 7pm exactly. He’s been walking up and down the hall, repeatedly, for the past two hours. He picks up the receiver and finds he cannot speak.
“James? Hi, hello. It’s Lily… are you there?”
He laughs then, short and bitter. As if him not hanging on to every word she says was ever an option.
“James?”
“Lily.”
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
There is an awkward pause.
“Hi,” she repeats. “Thanks for taking my call.”
He doesn’t say anything.
“Hello?”
He takes a deep breath, looks up at the ceiling.
“What do you want, Lily?”
He didn’t want to sound like a pathetic looser. A weirdo who still thinks about her most days. He tries for polite, detached. He hears her swallowing.
“I was hoping we could have a brief talk.”
“Yes. Go ahead.”
“I, er, when I was, I was surprised to receive the invitation to Remus and Sirius’ wedding. I didn’t feel it was right to go. But they insisted. To the point of visiting me on a number of occasions. And they were my friends, are my friends. I don’t want to upset them. I’m so happy for them…” she pauses, and she sounds like she’s short of breath for some reason.
“Yes, I’m happy for them too. They both deserve to be happy.”
“They do. It’s… it’s just… difficult. I wanted to ask you a favour.”
“A favour?” he slides down the wall, until he’s hunched into the corner, on the floor, telephone cord in his left hand, twisting it repeatedly.
“If I come, I… I don’t want to talk to you. It would be too… difficult. Too hard. I couldn’t… I’ve told them. If I come, I’m not sitting at your table and I’m not talking to you.”
He makes a sound, so she knows he’s listening.
“I can’t do it.”
“I understand,” he says.
He hears her long exhale.
“Thank you, James.” She sounds relieved.
“Would you do it again?”
“Sorry?”
“Would you walk away, without saying a word? Would you do anything differently if you could go back?”
A heartbeat.
“No, I would do it again, every time.”
He’s glad she can’t see his face. His knuckles are white from how hard he grips the phone.
“I won’t talk to you, I won’t even look at you. You needn’t worry.”
“Thank you.”
“Goodbye Lily.”
“I hope you are alright.”
He’s perfectly fine. His heart isn’t breaking down this long-distance line tonight.
“I’m fine. I’m not missing you at all. I’ve moved on. Made new friends. Met new lovers.”
He sounds so plausible he can almost convince himself.
“Good. That’s good, James, I’m so glad to hear that.”
If she’s been feeling any remaining sliver of guilt about how she left him, he’s made it easy for that to evaporate.
“Yeah, so, you needn’t worry, I’ll leave you alone. It won’t be any problem.”
“Okay. Thank you, James.”
If she says James one more time he will scream or sob or punch something.
“Goodbye,” he says, formal, brisk.
“Good –"
He hangs up the phone, before she can say anything more hurtful. He’s struggling to understand how he was ever in love with her. Why he was ever in love with her.
@jilychallenge2023 this is from April, but I kept going… 🩷
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tinyluminaryzombie · 18 days
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Graceless
@jilymicrofics | May Prompt #7 - Seething | 686 words tw: mentions of violence and blood (not gorry/extreme) Read on AO3
Lily kept replaying the scene. Time was fuzzy but she remembered every detail of when Severus's pack of wannabe death eaters cornered her.
It was stupid, walking all alone in deserted hallways. She had just finished her head girl duties and she had convinced James to leave early after he was about to chug another black tea just to stay awake. Quidditch schedules weren’t for the weak. 
Lily thought she’d be fine. Ultimately, she supposed she was fine. At least, she was alive. Minutes ago, she arrived in the common room seething, tears from her eyes and blood from her hands mixing on her face. 
Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying! echoed in Lily’s head. Crying would be her admission of weakness, her final surrender. She didn’t know what made her weaker: being paralyzed by Severus’s violent betrayal or disgusted by her acts of self-defense. 
It had started with a gasp. A portrait clutched her chest, looking ill. As Lily opened her mouth, ready to whip her head around, the portrait fearfully shook her head in warning. She kept walking, relying on the portraits’s reactions and the frames’ reflections. It quickly became clear. Four masked figures were following her. Lily was outnumbered. She kept walking as long as she could, whispering protective charms. There was no way to attack all four at once without putting the whole castle in danger. She was trapped. 
“Lily! Lily!” a voice called out. 
She blinked twice, reminding herself she was back in the common room, sitting on the gold rug, feeling the cold stone on her back, smelling honey and lemon. She was safe, for now. James came into focus.
“Lily,” he said again. This time, it felt more like a deep whine. She hummed hallowly. “Oh my god. Where are you bleeding? Shit, shit, shit. Lily, we need to get you help, right now.”
“It’s not my blood,” Lily said, looking at golden threads instead of warm eyes. She held her hands up. “It’s not mine.” She crumpled into James’s arms, her head in his chest. She balled her hands up tight fists behind his back. 
“I’m here. I’m here. I love you. I love you. I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” James whispered through her hair. 
“He hesitated. I didn’t.” Lily said. 
“What do you mean?”
Lily let out a shaky laugh. “Severus, he hesitated. Three of his death eater friends pushed him to the front and ripped his mask off. Told him to do his worst. Sev–Severus grabbed my arm and then froze. I yelled one of the blood curses that we were banned from learning in class. As soon as it hit, I yanked my arm away and ran.” 
She heard James sniffle. 
“So it’s Severus’s?”
She nodded. “James?” He needed to understand. 
“Yeah?"
“I just used one of the vindictive and painful curses on someone who I used to call my best friend.”
“I know. I’m so sorry, Lil.” He head, holding her tighter.
“But– but how can you still hold me? How can you still love me? You’re the most loyal person I know. You would never purposely hurt a friend. You’d never use a spell half as bad on them. And your girlfriend just–,” she paused, not wanting to say it again. “I just did that! ” Lily started sobbing again. 
James tried to brush her tears away, his thumb damp from his own. 
“Lily, I have never been more grateful that you’re the top student. I have never been more grateful for vindictive and painful curses. I have never been more grateful that you’re alive .” She feels his lips on her head. “The boys would never hurt me—or you—like that. But he doesn’t understand loyalty, doesn’t warrant loyalty. Just because he hesitated doesn’t mean he deserves your mercy. That goddamn graceless asshole doesn’t deserve your grace.” 
James kissed her temple. “I love you, I love you.” Lily continued to cry as he whispered to her. She reached over to squeeze his hand. I love you. I love you , she thought. 
Maybe together, they could get through this.
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athenasparrow · 10 months
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A microfic series: all the times they touched...
Inspired by @jilymicrofics prompt list. This was originally going to be all smut, but someone seems to have swapped out my sprinkles! We will see where it takes us...
Lay All Your Love On Me on AO3 💜
Prompt: tender
Summary: The first time Lily kisses James, he doesn’t even know. 
The first time Lily kisses James, there is no dazzling display of fireworks or crackle of lighting. It’s fleeting and delicate: a glimmer of hope in a deep abyss of despair.  The Hospital Wing is often a place of healing and solace for the students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Today the impending struggle for life hangs heavy in the air, mixing with the taut anxiety that rolls off his friends gathered around his bed.  She can’t get past the Auror – and even if she could, she has no place – so she’s left to catch glimpses through the open door. Madam Pomfrey’s robes are a crisp, stark contrast to the green robes of the St. Mungo's healers. The sharp antiseptic potions mix with the soft herbal draughts, wafting up Lily’s nose. She’s too worried to itch. She's frozen. A symphony of spells echoes as the healers orchestrate a gentle weave of magic around him. Enchantments sing in harmony, the raw power drifting from the room and sizzling as it meets her icy cloak of fear. She steps forward and catches a glimpse of Sirius. Her normally boisterous classmate is still as a statue, face pale and haunted like he’s come face to face with a dementor. Maybe this is his worst fear. Remus grips his hand tightly – knuckles white – and Lily wonders if his nails are digging into Sirius enough to draw blood. When his parents arrive it’s with haste and sobs that break the silent vigil his friends are holding. Lily’s own heart aches alongside James’ mother as she cries out for her son. Jamie? Oh my darling, darling boy! His father sweeps soft fingers over the damp curls of his son’s hair before reaching for Sirius. The younger boy slumps into the older man and crumbles in a way Lily has never witnessed.  Those inside seek solace in each other. Lily is alone. She stays as long as she can – until the door clicks shut and she can’t see – then she soaks herself in the steam of a bath and resigns herself to a fitful slumber. In the early hours of the morning, Lily abandons all pretence of sleep and slips through the corridors in nothing but her dressing gown. She rounds the corner of the hospital wing at a run – expects to be met with a stern Auror, but there’s no soul in sight – then is met with the tell-tale tingle of a ward as she crosses the threshold. She can’t tell what it is exactly, so she freezes. Will an alarm go off? But the silence remains thick and unbroken as she pads softly towards him – holding her breath as she passes the boys sprawled on an enlarged bed – until he swims into her (blurry) vision. She gently traces up his neck – relief hits her like a Thestral stampede as she feels the strong pulse under his jaw – until she cups his jaw as fragile as his life had hung not long before. She leans forward, brushing her lips to his cheek in a tender press as the salty taste of a single tear mingles with the warmth of her lips. Please be okay she whispers into the stillness of the night.  The first time Lily kisses James, he doesn’t even know. 
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abihastastybeans · 9 months
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I see your face when I close my eyes
Summary: James Potter survives the night of 31st October, 1981. (1.3K words) Tags: Major character death, angst, like angsty angst, canon divergence, James lives AU, Funerals, etc,.
Written for @thegobletofweasleys' Jily Week 2023
Day 1: Fluff/Angst
James gathered a spoonful of cerelac and leaned forward to feed Harry. The toddler moved his face just as the spoon touched his lips, leaving behind a sticky streak across his cheek. He pushed the spoon away with a pudgy hand, wiggling around in his high chair.
“Harry,” James plastered a smile on his face, “This is yummy! Open your mouth-” Harry shook his head and James spilled the food on Harry’s bib. “What do you want, love?” he asked tiredly, already knowing what his baby wanted as watched Harry’s lower lip jut out.
“Mumma…” Harry says in a quiet voice, knocking out the breath from him.
(Continue reading on ao3)
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maraudersftw · 1 year
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Close Your Eyes
Words: 3.3K | Rating: T
Summary: “Really?” he whispered, voice tight, clearly hurt. “Do I really repulse you that much?”
@jilychallenge November 2022 submission | Trope: Enemies Friends to Lovers | Partner: @annabtg 💗
Read on: AO3 | FFN
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