#seeking approval from people who never approved themselves

[mrs-han]

Hello, my lovelies!!

Thank you all so much for your submissions and interactions — it is so wonderful to be back in the company of truly wonderful people!!

I’ve been gifted with an abundance of happiness and strength that I simply needed to boast about it. Just a little! >w<

I’ll absolutely get back to your creative requests right after this! 🥹

V’s newly adopted daughter brought about a profoundly positive change in him, one both you and Jumin encouraged wholeheartedly. Jumin seemed giddier and far more optimistic now that his best friend was talking with him and inviting him over regularly.

And you felt a magnetic pull from Jumin as he expressed a playful and childlike side of himself, a side he didn’t show very often. Reason one billion, seven hundred and ninety-nine of why you loved your Jumin Han.

You played with a vivacious Lucy on the floor, bouncing your little doll against the floor of a Victorian dollhouse gifted to her by none other than her rich uncle. “The Prince is waiting for us! We must hurry!”

“I’m getting dressed!” Lucy opened an elegant dresser stuffed with little pieces of crocheted clothes done by your dear husband. “Oh, what shall I wear!”

Jumin’s chuckle distracted you. You spun to look at him; he raised his teacup towards you and continued speaking to V while still staring at you.

“Auntie, your turn to talk!!”

“Oh, uh —” you bounced your doll animatedly. “Put on the dress you bought last week!”

Lucy reached into the dollhouse; a loud crash suddenly alerted everyone in the room.

“Sweetheart?!” V sped towards his daughter, pulling her into his arms and searching her body for injuries. “Are you hurt? Sweetheart, look at me. Are you hurt?”

Lucy’s lower lip wobbled and tears flowed from her large blue eyes within seconds. “I… I broke the floor…”

After checking you over for any injuries, Jumin angrily reached for his phone. “This is completely unacceptable. I’m calling the manufacturer right now.”

“N-No,” Lucy stammered, wiping her tears with her tiny hands. “It’s my fault… I pushed… I pushed on it, and… p-please don’t be mad…”

You crawled to her, crooking a finger and lifting her chin. “Sweetie, accidents happen…! There could have been rot in the wood, so that’s why it needed to be knocked down! You performed a major service, you see!”

Lucy sniffed, unconvinced.

“Tell you what. Let’s give that room a brand new makeover!”

“C… Can we do that?” Lucy’s eyes pleaded with you.

“We’re gonna do our very best! It isn’t gonna be perfect, but it will be the best room by far because we recreated it!”

And you stuck to your word. Refusing pre-made models from your husband, you created miniature floorboards and light fixtures… after receiving a few minor shocks. Lucy carved furniture, painted her own art over the droll wallpaper, and knit a few new clothes with her Uncle Jumin.

And V helped dress each doll with their very own handmade dress. Or shirt. Or sweater.

After two weeks of working, the room was complete. It certainly contrasted the rest of the Victorian vibe, with its vibrant colors and bulky furniture, but none of you cared. Especially Lucy.

She tugged your sleeve, a proud sparkle in her eyes. “Auntie, auntie! Now that we’re finished, we can play in it!”

You smiled gently, running your fingers through her sandy brown hair. Jumin stepped in, shaking his head and producing a fairly stern tone. “Lucille, dove. Your aunt needs to rest.

“Aw… okay!!” Lucy spun towards her father, tugging his arm eagerly while begging for a yes to her question.

“Thank you,” you whispered, resting your weary head on Jumin’s chest. “My fingers are battered and my back is sore.”

Strong and capable arms holding you up, Jumin swayed slightly with you. “You know better than any of us how time consuming and rewarding construction is.”

You realized what he was talking about — how the walls and windows of your inner sanctum had been bashed in, leaving glass and dirt and other extremities everywhere.

It took you a grueling amount of time — weeks, months, years — making repairs and throwing out those who didn’t contribute to your greater good.

Including Jumin.

Your eyes flickered — Jumin lightly kissed your forehead. “You‘ve grown so much, my love. But if you start self-sabotaging by spending more time in someone else’s domain, then I’m afraid I’ll have to take necessary action.”

“Necessary action?”

“Break their door and carry you home, of course.” His brows shot up. “Or perhaps throw a rock at a window?”

“You shouldn’t damage property, Jumin.”

“I can if your host begins boarding you in.”

“No, I mean, you shouldn’t because I’ll have already bulldozed my way out.”

Your retort assuaged Jumin’s hardening gaze. “Haah… so it is true. From the ashes rises the Phoenix.”

Lifting you into his arms, you sank into Jumin’s embrace with ease, closing your eyes and pressing near. “I’m a hell of a Phoenix, too.”

Jumin chuckled gently. “Yes. You are.”

#mystic messenger #jumin han #mein schatz #jumin x reader #jumin x mc #ya’ll. #I put myself through SO MUCH HELL? 😂 #seeking approval from people who never approved themselves #always asking ‘what can I do’ ‘what can I do’ #always looking to serve them before serving myself #and I behaved so childishly and toxic myself because I never felt fulfilled #but damn was I doing it all wrong. #When I banished negative energies — when I realized that I needed to show myself the kindness I wasn’t shown #everything changed. #unfortunately Jumin was embedded into those painful experiences #but I stripped him of the ideologies others engrained into him #So many GOOD things are happening to me now #All of that work and all of those tears meant something. i didn’t waste any time like I thought I did when I hit the anger process of grief. #I’ve attracted or been attracted to souls who vibe high and who mean well. #i take shit from no one. #i can defend myself and my honor without a tremble in my voice. #my freedom and peace mean more than your feelings. #I’m genuinely Happy. #and I’m gonna bask in my blessings now because I DESERVE to. #on that note ~! #i have a date tonight >w< #SoundCloud #Spotify

[fdelopera]

JVP Explained

So, I've been seeing WAY too many gentiles ignorantly uplifting an American "Jewish" group called JVP this past month.

Members of JVP have been very loud this past month, pretending that they speak for Jewish people. They do not.

As a Jew, I'm here to help you understand who this group is, why they act in the blatantly antisemitic ways they do, and why they are dangerous to Jewish people around the world.

And, as an ACTUAL Jewish voice, I am here to tell gentiles to STOP uplifting them.

If you have never heard of "Jewish Voice for Peace" (JVP), or even if you have, I want to give you an analogy that will help you understand this group:

JVP are to Jewish people what Blaire White, Kalvin Garrah, and Caitlyn Jenner are to trans people.

And it's worse, because JVP have gentiles (non-Jews) in their membership. (At least Blaire, Kalvin, and Caitlyn are actually trans.) So for JVP to even call themselves a "Jewish voice" is a lie.

Like Blaire, Kalvin, and Caitlyn, JVP's Jewish membership desperately want to be seen as "the good ones" by bigots, and they are willing to throw vulnerable people in their own community under the bus just for a chance to be accepted by those bigots.

JVP has been called out REPEATEDLY by the Anti-Defamation League for harassing observant Jews at synagogue, harassing queer observant Jews, invoking the antisemitic blood libel canard against Jewish people, and most recently, cheering on and uplifting Hamas after their pogrom on October 7. Among many, many other antisemitic offenses.

There are LEGITIMATE and VALID ways to protest the atrocities and war crimes of the Israeli government.

Let me say that again.

There are LEGITIMATE and VALID ways to protest the atrocities and war crimes of the Israeli government!

But JVP doesn't do that.

Instead, JVP chooses to amplify Neo-Nazi dogwhistles, harass American Jewish people at shul, and uplift Hamas — an antisemitic terrorist organization.

You DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT!! get to call yourself a "Jewish voice for peace" and then use BLOOD LIBEL, UPLIFTING ANTISEMITIC TERRORISTS, and HARASSING OBSERVANT JEWS as a way to "criticize" the Israeli government.

You are not a "freedom fighter." You are just a Jew who is a self-loathing, Jew-hating antisemite.

Now, if you're queer like me (nonbinary, genderfluid Jew here, hi!), you're likely aware of how Blaire, Kalvin, and Caitlyn have harassed countless other trans people, especially nonbinary people, for not being trans in the "right way." They do this because they are desperate for approval from right-wingers. Why? Because they, and trans people like them, have a deep sense of self-loathing, shame, and guilt about being trans. They think that if they harass other trans people, right-wingers will accept them. All they want is for right-wingers to tell them, "It's okay, we know you're not like those cringy trans people over there. You're some of the good ones."

Right-wingers then benefit from this "relationship" because they can deny that they are transphobic bigots. Right-wingers can say things like, "I don't hate all trans people. I watched a couple of Blaire White's YouTube videos, and she's alright." So by seeking out right-wing approval, people like Blaire are making it more difficult for other trans people to fight back against anti-trans bigotry. But Blaire doesn't care, so long as Republicans will pat her on the head and tell her she's "one of the good ones."

JVP are very similar to this, except that they are seeking approval from extreme left-wing groups. Jews in JVP may be on the opposite end of the political spectrum, but they are behaving in the exact same way as Blaire, Kalvin, and Caitlyn. They are members of a marginalized group who are seeking approval from bigots, and they're throwing their community under the bus in the process.

JVP's Jewish membership desperately want to be seen as "Good Jews."

(JVP's gentile membership, of course, are just leftist antisemites and are there to harass Jewish people they deem to be "Bad Jews.")

Why? Why do Jews in JVP want to be seen as "the good ones"?

Because Jews in JVP have a deep feeling of self-loathing, shame, and guilt about being Jewish, and they think if leftist groups tell them, "It's okay, you're some of the good ones," that this will somehow assuage their guilt for being Jewish.

This self-loathing, shame, and guilt goes far beyond the current Israel/Palestine conflict. That's just how it is manifesting right now. There have always been Jews who have wanted to assimilate into gentile spaces and be told that they're "the good ones." There have always been Jews who are ashamed of being Jewish.

Jews in JVP consider spreading antisemitic Neo-Nazi conspiracy theories, uplifting Hamas, and further marginalizing other Jewish people to be a small price to pay if it means that they are provisionally "accepted" by certain antisemitic gentiles. Even though these antisemitic gentiles will discard the Jews in JVP as soon as it is expedient to do so.

And of course, just like Blaire, Kalvin, and Caitlyn do with right-wingers, the Jews in JVP sanction left-wing antisemites to say: "I don't hate all Jews. I'm not antisemitic. I just hate Israeli Jews 'Bad Jews.' I just want those 7 million Israeli Jews 'Bad Jews' to be exterminated."

Sure, Jan. Sure, you're not antisemitic. You just want 7 million Jews mass murdered. In case you didn't know, you absolute ghoul, that's the very definition of antisemitic.

Oh, and Gentiles, many of you have gone mask-off enough with your Jew-hatred this month for us Jews to know that when you say "Israelis," "Zionists," "Zios," "Zio scum," "Zio rats," and every other permutation of those words, you really mean "those dirty Jews I'm allowed to hate publicly now."

But the Jews in JVP haven't studied their Holocaust history. The Jews in JVP don't care to remember that the Nazis, too, rounded us up into groups of "Bad Jews" and "Good Jews" — or, really, "Bad Jews" and "Useful Jews." Then the Nazis used the "Useful Jews" to attack the "Bad Jews." Finally, they shoved ALL the Jews that they could get their hands on into the gas chambers and tried to kill every last one of us.

And what I know from studying Holocaust history is that as soon as Jews start getting sorted into camps of "Good Jews" and "Bad Jews," you had better say, "Fuck no, I'm not being a Good Jew!"

You had better get into the "BAD JEW" camp as FAST as you can and start SPEAKING OUT, and uplifting the Jewish community, and supporting as many other Jews as you can.

If you try to be a "Good Jew," antisemites will just use you as a useful idiot and a pawn against other Jews. Then within a short period of time, you will find that EVERY Jew is lumped into the "Bad Jew" camp. And EVERY Jew is now in danger. Including you, O "Good Jew" who tried so hard to convince antisemites that you were "one of the good ones."

If JVP studied Holocaust history, they would see that they are being useful idiots for Neo-Nazis, Hamas, and other antisemitic groups that want Jews around the world to be eradicated. (You should read Hamas' excruciatingly antisemitic charter sometime. I have. The group is literally founded on Jew-hatred.)

But the Jews in JVP do not study Jewish history, or Holocaust history.

The Jews in JVP don't want to acknowledge the truth:

In siding with the Neo-Nazis, the Hamas supporters, and the other antisemitic groups that are co-opting the Free Palestine movement and turning it into a movement of Jew-hatred, the Jews in JVP are signing their own death warrant, too.

It's only a matter of time, O "Good Jews," before you are rounded up with us "Bad Jews." Because to antisemites, we're all just "dirty Jews who deserve to die."

#jumblr #judaism #jewblr #jewish #jewish history #jvp does not speak for jewish people #NOTE: I report and block antisemities. If any antisemites comment on this post you will be reported and blocked. You have been warned #antisemitism tw

[kosher-martian]

I'm making this post with full recognition that it might result in a bunch of hateful comments or asks, but I think it has to be said.

This morning I saw two completely unrelated posts (one on reddit and one on tumblr) that referred to Jews as "Jews of Conscience / Jewish People of Conscience" so as to draw contrast between the Jews being discussed and other Jews, based solely on their beliefs and attitudes concerning the Israel-Hamas War.

We really are just doing the whole "one of the good ones" schtick aren't we?

Why do we have to make these performative declarations of our beliefs to remain in the good graces of the self-appointed "good people"? What does that say about the "good people" and their "good politics"? And what does it say about us if we seek their approval?

This is the inevitable outcome of both purity politics and hyper-regimented discourse, which themselves are the consequence of deriving the entirety of one's political litmus test from maximalist sloganeering echo chambers.

This method of forming "good politics" reduces the complexity of the human experience into a simple "us vs them" dynamic, where the dividing line between the two is whether you upvoted or downvoted a screenshot of a pithy tweet.

It frames the world as one with "good people" and "bad people", where those on the side of "good" are scene as virtuous and well-intentioned whereas those on the side of "bad" are at best misinformed and at worst malevolent, sinful monsters. As someone whose virtue has not yet been determined, one who has not declared their affiliation is to be distrusted until they either:

Profess the beliefs of the "good people" without exemption, adopting them whole cloth and never questioning by whom those beliefs were made or whom those beliefs serve.

"Out" yourself as a "bad person".

I want to specifically call attention to that second option. It is always framed as a revelation. Not a sudden change of heart. Not a slow alienation. Not changing material conditions that alter the way someone perceives the world. All "good people" are actually "bad people" (except you, the only true "good person") and it's only a matter of time until someone "reveals who they really are". Everyone is lying about what they actually believe. It's a low-trust environment where every alliance (social, political, etc.) is one of convenience, to be continued until your ally inevitably betrays you for the other side.

To me, the only thing being revealed is the intellectual dishonesty of it all. It's no wonder that you suspect everyone else of lying, because it's exactly what you do. If the only reason you believe something is for the treats and status that believing it gains you, you don't actually believe it. The thing you actually believe is saying whatever is necessary for the treat dispensing machine to dispense your treats.

And so we circle back to the phrase "Jews of Conscience" and what that really means: It means (for the Nth time in Jewish History) Jews are not to be trusted until we "prove" our allegiance to the "good side" or "reveal" our allegiance the "bad side".

#judaism #jumblr #antisemitism

[yyawnjun]

BUTTONS

seventeen!BSSline × reader (separately)

summary: according to an ancient story, the greatest way to confess to the girl you love is to give her the top button of your uniform. Knowing this tradition, here's how I think Seungkwan, Seokmin, and Hoshi would confess their love.

comments, likes, and reblogs are always greatly appreciated. I hope y'all will like it ♡

part1 ; high school romance ; fluff!! ; 3k wc; @kflixnet

the biggest thank you goes again to my fav girl and proofreader ( @sobun1est ‼️) and to the sweetest anon who requested this<3

BOO SEUNGKWAN [ 부승관 ]

None could ever understand how much you feared that guy. Boo Seungkwan. That boy with hazel eyes and dyed platinum-blond hair, walking around proudly and always with a smile on his face, was the most dangerous threat to you. 

He excelled in all subjects, and was always ready to answer questions - often saving the distracted part of the class - always punctual and attending class... 

You had begun to bond with him after you were assigned as a partner in a project. Before that moment you had never been interested in that boy who seemed only to adore attention and seek approval; but since that biology project, you've become fond of him and begun to know him for who he truly was.

He turned out to be a hardworking boy who secretly cared deeply for his close friends. He was caring, intelligent, and constantly prepared with practical solutions. You noticed how Seungkwan hid his deep insecurity by boasting about himself, yet at the slightest compliment, he would turn away to hide his shy smile. 

At the same time, he was able to express his affection through gestures, and often he surprised you with how much he remembered about you. Things you might have mentioned only once were indelibly marked in his heart. 

Since you two became friends, he smiled at you more and regularly invited you to participate in class discussions, encouraging you to raise your hand when he was sure you knew the answer. 

You had become more interested in classes as a result of his reassurance, and you would always gaze at the person who had encouraged you to raise your hand, still with a bit of anxiety. But he would gaze at you proudly, nodding and lowering his hand to allow you to speak.

Still, you feared that gaze from him because of his power over you. He had been like a burst of self-confidence that had unexpectedly disturbed your life. Time passed, and you decided, for your own and your friendship's sake, to ignore all of the strange emotions that were beginning to bloom…

At school, he was not really well-liked because everyone stopped at his arrogant appearance and few tried to get to know him. Few others observed his intriguing personality; and you were the only one there as much as he sighed with glazed eyes, wondering why he was getting the disliked stares in school. All you could do was sit with him and reassure him with gentle words, that entirely melted the character he had worked so hard to perfect in the sight of others. This friendship quickly developed into a different feeling. 

And after a beautiful love confession, you two started dating.

Everyone still viewed you as two close friends... but only you two and a few careful observers noticed your joined hands, brief kisses, and sweet glances which had shown themselves throughout time.

As you became more active in class, many of your classmates showed interest in you. Many people wanted to be your friend, and many boys admired your brilliance and beauty while unintentionally ignoring the horrible stares directed at them by your boyfriend. It had never occurred to you to think about other people's love confessions for you; but on the other hand, your lover had finally revealed his jealousy, which he kept to a minimum so as not to burden you. 

On February 14th, it was decided that he would tell the world about the two of you - if you were okay with it. Because you were cool with it - for you, being with an amazing person like him was more than enough - he decided to confess in the final days of the year. 

Most romantically, he knew by giving you the first button on his uniform. You had no idea this was part of his plan, so you went to school silently on a hot summer Friday. You entered the classroom and sat at your desk while waiting for your boyfriend to come and your class to start. Like a ray of sunshine, he entered and immediately turned to you, smiling. 

He walked up to your desk and after a very quick touch, he at in his seat behind you. You turned to talk to him, but the teacher entered the classroom and interrupted you at the start of class. While the time for you seemed endless, your partner at the back desk was starting to break out in a cold sweat, wondering if his choice to confess to you in front of everyone was a good idea. The next hour, your class had planned a class reunion to say final goodbyes before leaving school. When the teacher walked away, you turned to your boyfriend. Only to find him standing there, his hand clenched in a fist, reaching out to you.

"With that, I promise my love and devotion to you, Yn, thank you for this year together, thank you for letting me be your boyfriend, thank you for taking care of me and letting me take care of you, thank you for letting me know you and for getting to know me, thank-" but before he could finish, you interrupted him with a quick kiss. Your hand had been linked with his, and the button was handed to you. You smiled as you hugged the boy, whose sparkling eyes were now lined with tears due to the anxiety. 

The class burst into applause, divided between those who celebrated love, those who saw confirmation of their theories about your relationship, and those who shivered at having lost all chance of high school love on that beautiful last day of school.

LEE SEOKMIN [ 이석민 ]

Lee Seokmin, the theater kid. You and Seokmin loved being actors during the high school years. In the first year, you chose the drama class and from there continued to pursue your passion. It was what brought you closer together, and you had learned to always set aside time in the afternoons to read over the scripts for the show you needed to prepare. Sometimes you two would go over the parts in the park, sometimes at each other's houses, and sometimes even hang out in some corner of a random bar where you would silently act out their assigned parts. You soon become a duo, two friends forever connected by their passion for acting. 

Indeed you and Seokmin had both shown skills in acting!

You had at first entered into a friendship competition, but as you grew more mature, you abandoned this useless impression and began to be friends.

Everyone thought you were an inseparable duo now. Teachers were always putting you in roles that showed your collaboration and energy. Your roles varied extensively; most of the time, you were the lead friends or a minor duo.

All this stayed the same until the final play of last year.

This play was based on a text written entirely by your drama teacher. She had admitted that it was an unpublished piece she had written during her high school years, and had never dared to put it on stage. It was based on her personal experience, and in particular on her love story (with the drama teacher!) during her high school years. 

As a goodbye to your class and a homage to her past years, she proposed a staged performance of that romantic comedy. 

At the revelation of what it was, all of you burst into exultant applause that was soon replaced by silence and some laughter as she began to choose the roles. 

Dk was proposed to be the male lead, everyone cheered, and he happily agreed. You expected to have the best friend role, as it had always been. But the silence fell, and your cheeks-along with Seokmin's blushed when it was announced that you would be the female lead. 

You smiled and nodded awkwardly as you looked at your dear friend. 

So this is how you found yourself, lying on the grass in a park, rehearsing the script with your friend.  The show was just a few days away, and you always got to the last scene where he removed the button from his uniform and handed it to you to declare his love. Right after that, there was a simple hug, but, during rehearsal, in that hug, you both lost yourselves a little more than expected - that's why you found yourself repeating that specific scene almost a hundred times.

He would pretend to undo the button on his shirt, and when he handed it to you, there would be silence, and you would approach timidly for a hug. There had never been any awkwardness about physical contact in your friendship, so why was it so difficult to hug your friend without your heart racing and hyperventilating?

Rehearsals soon ended, and you found yourselves on the last day of school ready to perform the entire play. The final scene aside, you had gotten along very well in your assigned roles. You had found that you were very similar to the characters you were to play and very comfortable in your acting. The performance began for the best. A few breathing exercises but soon you were leaving confident and ready. About an hour passed so smoothly, and the time came for the final scene. 

When you were alone on stage, the lights were focused only on you, and the room filled with people fell silent.

Dk looked into your eyes and moved slowly towards your face. A knot formed in your throat, and for a brief time, you believed you saw genuine sparkles of love in his eyes. He looked perfect as he removed the first button of his uniform and handed it to you. Without saying anything, you took that button and linked your hands. 

He approached and gently pulled you into his arms. You wished that hug could last forever, and hoped to melt with him forever in that moment. 

Without you having any more control of your mouth, and without anyone hearing you whisper to him: "Dk, I think I love you." But before he could answer or even acknowledge it, an outburst of applause brought you back to reality. 

Yet before you had any regrets, he grabbed your face in his hands and kissed you. 

Everyone in the theater class was taken aback; the kiss was not in the script…Was he still acting or actually confessing!? 

After only a few seconds, everyone realized he had done what your drama teacher regretted not doing at the time. Your heart began to race, and the audience continued to cheer for the success of your performance. After a few moments, you separated, but you could both focus just on the sensation of the kiss. You blinked many times to ensure that you were not dreaming. And no, you were not dreaming. 

You had the most stunning smile you'd ever seen in front of you, and it could warm your heart even in the coldest conditions. And that cheerful and loving smile was dedicated exclusively to you, the one who had always managed to make it possible.

KWON SOONYOUNG [ 권순영 ]

Kwon Soonyoung was the most chaotic and unintentionally funny boy in your class. 

He was constantly the center of attention for teachers and pupils due to his too-loud comments, daily naps, and constant delay. He never seemed worried about the tests, so you could only overcome your worry and finish the test with a lot of effort. He did not excel in all subjects, but his calm and cheerful temperament was enough to attract your attention. 

You admired him as he laughed heartily about who knows what with his friends. He wasn't rude, and everyone at school loved him. And despite his popularity, he had never become arrogant; Hoshi was still the same funny boy. You had known him for years, since you were neighbors, and you were very close as children; then fate would have it that as you grew up you grew apart a bit and ended up just being friends in the same class in senior year.

Sometimes he would come to talk to you; and occasionally, you would go home together, but he would frequently stay out to hang out with his groups while you were out with some of your friends.

After a hectic week filled with tests, and school projects, you both found yourself rushing to catch the bus to school. Both of you were exhausted for different reasons, and you two found yourself watching the bus pass by, breathless and still tired from the previous days.

You hadn't talked to each other all week because you were both so busy with your duties, and on that Friday, you looked at each other defeated, but you didn't say anything. You two just started to laugh.

Nobody knows why you laughed at your misfortunes, but you both did so passionately after looking into each other's eyes.

"Yn...what if we skipped school?" He suddenly proposed.

You were not unfamiliar with him at times skipping school, but he had never offered it to you.

Just now his eyes sparkled with the excitement that he might convince you, as you hadn't yet declined the offer.

"We can go to the beach, and I will buy you breakfast!" 

And, let's be honest, it wasn't that that changed your mind... it was his lovely puppy eyes that would have convinced anyone.

You nodded, and he quickly directed you to a bus that would take you to a beach you used to visit as children.

The simple fact that he remembered that beach you loved so much made your heart melt.

You went to pick up tickets at the station's ticket booth. 

Your heart was racing from the anxiety of what you were doing, and a smile gradually appeared on your face because you would be doing it alone with Hoshi. A thousand tremors silently flooded your body at that instant, but the decision had already been made, and you had to stick to it. Trying not to let your fear overwhelm you, you chose to concentrate on Hoshi as he checked the bus timetable. You only noticed then that he wasn't wearing a uniform, but rather a white tank top with a baggy blue shirt over it and long black slacks; he probably hadn't planned to attend school that day.

You also observed his slightly tired eyes, emphasized black circles, slightly cracked lips, and tiring face. He rapidly moved his finger to check the timetable, keeping his eyes half-closed so he could read the fine print.

Your bus would have passed by in two minutes, leaving you waiting for him on the bench at the bus stop. You wanted to ask him how he was doing, as you were concerned about his appearance. But you observed his blank expression and slight smile, so you decided to find a way to cheer him up.

Soon, you were able to start the conversation, and as you did, his eyes brightened and his smile returned, along with a flush on his cheeks. The bus soon arrived, and you got quietly, excited about the experience. Naturally, you sat close to one other, and he handed you the earphones through which you shared music during the entire trip. 

You were willing to speak with him, but before you knew it, he was fast asleep; and since you let his head rest on your shoulder, he was eternally grateful for those thirty minutes of sleep.

You quickly found yourself at the beach bar, watching the waves crash on the beach and the sun gleaming in the sky mirrored in the sea. Meanwhile, Hoshi, holding your breakfast, stood mesmerized, staring at you. 

He smiled and looked at you as if he were a painter admiring his muse.

Time went between nostalgic conversations and strolls along the waterfront.

And the more you talked, the more Hoshi accepted his feelings, which he had before resisted to the point of tears. 

Hoshi loved you.

He'd had this sensation for a while now, and as you watched him, he couldn't help but do the same. He would watch you laugh with others, and constantly talk about you to everyone. He would talk about your past friendship, how much he wanted to be close to you again, and how amazing you were both inside and out. 

Hoshi admired your beauty, kindness, and intelligence. He admired you from a distance and gave you quiet glances when he couldn't speak with you. He kept an eye on you from a distance and made sure you were safe. 

He made sure you were never alone, and that even when you were exhausted, you didn't let school get to you. 

He liked you from afar. 

But he didn't realize he was in love (his friends (especially seungkwan) had been telling him every day for at least two months) until he heard you mention your “future partner”.

You were sitting on the coast, gazing fixedly at the horizon and chatting about your future. And he had at last understood that he was the one he wanted to hear about in that way from you.

He wanted to be the one to be looked at by your beautiful eyes like that.

Hoshi was lost in thought. All he wanted to do was let you that he liked you. But why? How? When?

At that moment the impulse took over and...he randomly tore off the button of the shirt he was wearing.  It was unexpected; in the meantime, he only managed to say your name, so you looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"Here," he said, handing you some buttons taken from his shirt. (He intended to remove only one button, but ended up removing at least three.)

You gazed at him, confused as ever, as you took the three buttons he handed you.

"Let me be the one to stand by your side - he said, staring at you genuinely with his dark brown eyes …pretty, please? "  

Words were not enough to express how confused you were. You smiled and water reflected in your eyes, whilst his were lit by the sun. At that moment, no artwork could have captured the intensity of your emotions.

You instinctively nodded, and the whole boy's body relaxed; his gaze softened, and he nearly fainted when you gave him a short kiss on the cheek in answer to his buttons.

#k-labels #k labels #seventeen #seventeen x reader #bss x reader #hoshi x reader #hoshi scenario #seventeen hoshi #kwon soonyoung fluff #kwon soonyoung x reader #kwon soonyoung #dk x reader #lee seokmin #lee seokmin x reader #svt #svt x you #svt fluff #seventeen x y/n #seventeen scenario #boo seungkwan scenarios #boo seungkwan #seungkwan x reader #seungkwan fluff #seventeen fluff

[secular-jew]

Please share and help stop propaganda and educate people.

I was born to hate jews. By Kaseem Hafiz

It was part of my life. I never questioned that. I was not born in Iran or Syria. I was born in England. My parents moved there from Pakistan. Theirs was the typical immigrant story: Move to the West hoping to create a better life for themselves and their children.

We were a devoted Muslim family, but not extremists or radicals in any way. We only wanted the best for everyone - everyone except the Jews. The Jews, we thought, were aliens living in stolen Muslim land, occupiers involved in a genocide against the Palestinian people. Our hatred was therefore justified and just. And it left me and my friends vulnerable to radical extremist arguments. If the Jews were as evil as we've always believed, shouldn't those who support them - Christians, Americans and others in the West - be just as evil?

All of this had its desired effect. At least it did on me. It changed the way I looked at the world. I began to look at the suffering of Muslims, including in Britain, as the fault of Western imperialism. The west was at war with us, and the Jews controlled the west. My experience at the university in the UK only reinforced my increasingly radical conviction. Hating Israel was a badge of honor. Set up an anti-Israel, pro-Palestinian rally, and you were sure to attract a huge, approver

While in uni, I decided that the protests and propaganda against Israel were not enough. Real jihad requires violence. So I made plans to join the real fight. I want to drop out of college and join terrorist training camp in Pakistan. But, fortunately for me, fate intervened - in a bookstore.

I came across a book called The Case for Israel by Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz. The case for Israel? Which case could that be? The title itself infuriated me, and I started reading the pages almost like a travesty. How ill-informed, how stupid, can this guy be to defend the defenseless? Well, he was a Jew. That must have been the answer

👉Still I am reading. And what I read challenged all my dogmas about Israel and the Jews: I read that it was not Israel who created the Palestinian refugee crisis, it was the Arab countries, the UN and the corrupt Palestinian leadership. I read that Jews did not exploit the Holocaust to create the state of Israel; the movement to create a modern Jewish state dating back to the 19th. century, and eventually to the beginning of the Jewish people almost 4000 years ago. And I read that Israel is not engaged in genocide against the Palestinians. On the contrary, the Palestinian population has actually doubled in just twenty years.

👉What I saw with my own eyes was even more challenging than what Dershowitz had written. Instead of apartheid I saw Muslims, Christians and Jews coexisting. Instead of hate, I saw acceptance, even compassion. I saw a violent, modern, liberal democracy, full of flaws, for sure, but fundamentally decent. I saw a country that wanted nothing but to live in peace with its neighbors. I watched my hate melt before my eyes. I knew just then what I had to do.

Too many people on this planet are consumed by the same hate that consumed me. They have been taught to despise the Jewish state - many Muslims through their religion, many others by their university professors or student groups.

So here's my challenge to anyone who feels this way: do what I did - seek the truth for yourself. If the truth can change me, it can change anyone.

I am Kasim Hafeez from Prager University.

[suninyourmoon]

ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS (2)

🗣 Not professional astrologer! It’s only based on my own experience, people that i know, and self-observation. So please take with grain of salt! :D

Venus in Libra peeps could be those who keep nagging about how they want a relationship so bad. (i know a few people in my life with this placement and they can't stop complaining about how single they are help)

Leo moon are lying to themselves if they say they don't like attention. (perhaps don't realize it yet?)

A lot of Venus in Virgo people that i know at some point in their life will questioning whether they really want a marriage or not. (yeah me too)

Someone said "i can't see myself getting married. I don't know, it seems unrealistic to me" yeah you are Virgo Venus in 12th house retrograde.

I mean, Venus in Virgo itself already make this person picky when it comes to love, and then the confusion and unrealistic idea they had because of the neptune influence. And in retrograde? jeez. i believe they have been in a relationship but then the relationship they had never meet their expentation because this people have a hopeless romantic idea of what romance is.

Venus in Sagittarius / 9th need a lot of freedom. Have a special place for foreigner in ther heart. Love someone who can keep up with their wild energy. Love people who is aware of society problem. Might also into smart people. Probably like to joke around with people close to their heart as well. (or people in general)

Moon in 7th house / Moon in Libra find comfort from being around people.

or they might feel the need to be in a relationship so that they won't feel lonely. Might dealing with co-dependency. (i know it's not your fault but please seek theraphy)

Friend of mine have 7th stellium (5 planet) and i swear to god, the attachment issues they have with is not a joke. They struggle with being on their own and need someone approval in every aspect of their life. Feel like they are incomplete if they're single. Too selfless, too giving. Later in life, people with this placement might have to realize that they should learn to stand on their on feet.

Neptune in 3rd house might having a hard time to communicate what they want to say. They also might say something they don't mean.

Uranus in 3rd house saying something in such a random way. i can't understand you sometimes,,,,,,

Chiron in 2nd house peeps could deal with feeling unworthy and feel unsave. They could feel guilty if they spend money on themselves. My Friend with this placement struggle with fear of end up lacking money all the time.

TW : ED!

i've met a few people with Chiron in 1st house, all of them stuggle with self-image and body dysmorphia, and also struggling with Eating Disorder. :(

END OF WARNING

Those with Jupiter and Saturn together in 8th House will likely to be extremely wealthy. They are hardworking and blessed with money.

They might also are curious about the deeper things in live, spirituality and the theme around 8th house but at the same times fear of the unknown and uncertainty. They might be those people who want to dive deeper into sex (or just have high energy on that) and desire devoted relatonship but hold themselves back and blocking themself from intimate relationship because a deep fear of commitment. It's very frustasing when jupiter and saturn are in the same house.

this is actually synasty thingy but i felt like i need to mention this, DO NOT MESS AROUND WITH SOMEONE YOU HAVE 8TH HOUSE SYNASTRY WITH WHEN YOU’RE NOT READY AT ALL🩸👄🩸 i have my experience with someone who my planets fall into their 8th house (stellium), and they are OBSESSES. I help bring their true and darker side of them so now they’re attach on me, it’s sorta my fault for trying to fix them tho that’s why i’m telling you stop messing around with this synastry if you’re not ready.

8th house placement… did astrology became your free therapy because they can validate ur emotion and understand you so damn well? Same👍🏻

Mercury-Saturn aspect, i know it’s a good thing to be careful with ur words but please say something if you really want to say it. You literally limiting ur self sometimes and overthinks a lot

There someone i know said that they don't know how to get mad and have Mars-Saturn aspect. These people (Could be Saturn in 8th house as well) might been told during their childhood that it's wrong let their temper loose so then growing up they feel guilty to express their anger and try to burry those temper.

They also could be those who struggle with supressed sexuality.

idk but my mom have Scorpio Mars and used to make a lot of sexual jokes during my childhood. (please don't do that)

Sagittarius Asc peeps i knew in the first impression look so innocently religious and calm, and they always turns out to be not. Like, literally

Thats it✨ thankyou sm and you can give me a feedback 💥 cheers peeps🫶

#venus in libra #astro notes #venus in virgo #venus in 12th house #venus retrograde #venus in sagittarius #venus in 9th house #moon in 7th house #moon in libra #7th stellium #neptune 3rd house #uranus 3rd house #chiron 2nd house #chiron 1st house #8th house #mercury saturn aspect #mars saturn aspect #saturn in 8th house #mars in 8th house #scorpio mars #sagittarius asc

[unhelpfulfemme]

Damen's also a victim of gaslighting if you think about it, and it explains so many things about him.

Kastor seems to have taken care of him a lot while he was growing up (based on the amount of childhood memories that Damen has with him) and Kastor also fucking hated him. A child in that situation will sort of self-gaslight, they'll convince themselves that they don't see what they do so they can maintain a fundamental sense of safety despite their objectively unsafe environment. The end result is exactly what Damen is - someone who's pretty bad at telling apart those who love him from those who mean him harm.

If Kastor treats him like shit - Kastor fucking stabbed the barely teen-aged heir to the throne in the guts, mind - that's because Kastor is treating him like a man, he's giving him tough love and not coddling him because a prince doesn't need coddling, he needs tempering and seasoning instead. Damen is lucky to have a brother who'll stab him in the guts so he can become a better man and ruler, unlike those arrogant, spoiled other princes who get *checks notes* affectionate relatives.

And if Kastor is treating him like a man that's because Damen's earned it - Damen has a particular fixation about "earning it", whatever "it" is in a particular situation, because the main issue of contention between him and Kastor is that Damen gets the throne by default, regardless of who deserves it more, and therefore (in Kastor's view) Damen is a Bad Person who's screwing him over by his very existence. Damen's answer to this is to make sure that he works hard and is the best at everything (and working hard for things is actually a genuinely good value to have, mind), because this way he DID earn it, he DOES deserve it more, the better man has the throne, so peace on planet Earth, right? But he doesn't understand how this just further humiliates and angers Kastor, who then vengefully retaliates, the truth of which Damen, who loves Kastor and seeks his approval, can't handle emotionally, necessitating the "this is tough love, because I'm a strong man" mental defense.

I think this is interesting because it really spills over into Damen's incorrect conclusions about Laurent, sometimes in kinda embarrassingly stupid ways - because Veretians are Bad and being a spoiled cunt who's never had to work hard for anything is also Bad (in a very visceral way, because it's what Damen is desperately trying to avoid being), the Veretian prince must be both, concludes Damen after a 0.5 second glance at Laurent's resting bitch face. "A prince doesn't need to be coddled, he needs to be seasoned," says Damen to Paschal about Laurent, even though he's only in the position to have this conversation in the first place because Laurent's entire family died by the time he was 13 and he is currently being hunted down like a dog by his only remaining relative.

I also think that this is the foundation on which Damen's attitudes about slavery are able to change and develop - if his idea of someone deserving something is based in whether he's earned it (as opposed to birthright), becoming a slave is an easy way to disprove his current worldview about how much "earning it" matters in a fundamentally unjust society: first of all, Damen can't earn anything if Laurent doesn't allow him the opportunity to. Once Laurent does allow it, no matter how competent Damen shows himself to be, no matter how much Laurent treats him as an equal, no matter how much Damen earns Laurent's respect, this is all still happening at Laurent's whim and Laurent can turn around and treat Damen like a servant again, praise his military prowess with one breath and threaten him with a whipping with the next, and there's very little Damen can do about it. Damen goes from a privileged man's idea of meritocracy (I worked hard for it so I deserve it) to a more 360 degree one (some people can never have what I have no matter how hard they work, because I am fundamentally privileged).

Finally, it's really obvious that Damen also loves working for it in his romantic relationships, which probably stems from the same roots as all of the above, but it's a particularly interesting framework for drawing parallels between Laurent and the rest of Damen's life. Not only is Laurent the undisputed champion of Being Hard to Get, Laurent also hates Damen because Damen unthinkingly took something precious away from him (just like someone else!), and Laurent is also very punishing towards Damen over it (just like someone else!). But this time, Damen is actually capable of earning Laurent's respect (because facts will always take precedence over pettiness for hyperrational Laurent), and then his love, because Laurent is willing to see Damen as a person with feelings- as a man who loves him and cares about pleasing him - and not just as his role in the tragedy of Laurent's life.

I just think it's interesting to think about, is all, because I feel like the knee-jerk instinct is to analyze Laurent's more overt fuckedupness while not thinking about how Damen needs to also be kinda fucked up to find the thornbush pleasing to the extent that he does.

#captive prince #damianos of akielos #these books had such a visceral grasp on me that for a while I didn't trust myself to engage with other people's opinions on them #but now I am slowly easing into it and sometimes I see the usual reaction that you typically get in competence-porn-driven stories #where a character acting in stupid ways because of emotional hangups is #Bad Characterization #and I just felt like writing this I dunno hope someone finds it useful

[triluvial]

There are whispers, stirrings.

There are rumours that Arrakis' control - for so long solidified in the pearlescent hands of the Harkonnen family - was wavering. That the emperor was already seeking out a replacement family.

Their first hint of this was Duke Leto reaching out and flat out telling them that the emperor had offered his family control over Arrakis and the entire imperial spice trade. While the Baron pretended very, very hard that this wasn't information that was blindsiding the entire family, Leto went onto explain that he didn't want to move off of safe, plentiful Caladan while the mother of his children was so, profoundly pregnant. Duke Leto doesn't want to start any shit with the Harkonnens either, so he wants them to hear the truth from him even though "I'm sure you're up to your ears in reports from your network of spies."

There was no network of spies. Who tf would risk their lives for a house that would be twice as likely to kill them themselves? Baron Vladimir successfully pretends otherwise for the rest of the video call.

However, that gives the Baron an idea of how to proceed. They can't trust the Atreides on their words, but they cannot ignore such a serious warning.

However, it would all be too suspicious - if the risk of losing the control of spice was real - for random Geidi Prime natives to show up at the Emperors home. He had a truthsayer, and they couldn't exactly blend into a crowd. But there was a better plan, they would join with a different house, one friendly with the Emperor and be invited alongside them to the Emperor's side. It would be an insult for the Bene Gesserit assistant to the crown to start questioning the staff of a beloved guest.

So Feyd joined a small battalion. Not even as the leader, though he could hear the other men shifting in anxiety whenever he sighed in a specific way over the general's decisions. And they were sent to bring that month's trading products from Pallosan III to Geidi Prime.

Feyd and his team arrive late on purpose. The ruling family had no choice but to offer to let them stay the night. They humbly accept, feigning the quiet servitude that Harkonnen servants are famous for.

Under the cover of darkness, they fake a break in. They fake an assassination attempt. Then the eight, perfectly normal Harkonnen servants fight off the attackers before the citadel's alarms are even raised.

Reader's family is overjoyed. Baron Harkonnen is even more overjoyed to receive and approve their request for the eight 'heroes' to stay on Pallosan Three until the reason and origin of the assassination attempt is found and eliminated. Vladimir is so glad that his people could be of use to such dear, treasured allies, and if his heir had been there Feyd could have probably fought off the assassins single handedly, but it's good that the relatively unskilled fighters managed on their own.

This bolsters the Harkonnen reputation, not only is their noble family incredibly dangerous but even normal servants sent to transport food are more skilled than most family's trained guards.

Feyd knew this would be a long mission. He'd never done anything like this, but a Harkonnen had to be present to make hard decisions and he was the least-recognisable of the three ruling members of the family.

Three weeks later there's a real break in. It probably wasn't an assassination attempt but as he is the only one alive when the guards and royal family come running in after the alarms go off, Feyd can tell whatever story he wants.

Later that day, the youngest princess comes and brings Feyd a drawing of him in thanks. He's monstrously tall, towering over a terrible depiction of the citadel. The sun is black, apparently the only thing the child knew about Geidi Prime.

Feyd looks over the shoulder of the child at where her older sister was standing. Then he feigns being moved by the drawing. He's rewarded by two smiles, one gap-toothed and the other as beautiful as the dawn. He feels his stomach flip awkwardly. He folds up the drawing and puts it inside his armour.

"You made her day, you know." Princess Irulan's closest friend says, sitting next to Feyd as he sharpens his sword later that afternoon. "She's right now bugging our captain of the guards so that he'll teach her swords so she can be a Harkonnen when she grows up."

"Uh..." Feyd manages.

"Of course, that's not how it works, but she's young." She allows, and she's sitting close enough that Feyd can tell her dress isn't just solid blue but actually embroidered in the same colour with shiny silk thread. "You're an amazing warrior, the Baron said only his na-Baron was skilled enough to fight an assassination team alone but you were barely sweating."

Reader runs a hand down his bare arm, as if to demonstrate where the sweat would be. Feyd has had sex with his harpies on his balcony, where any citizen could look up at them. Yet, somehow this makes him feel more exposed.

"I have to leave the citadel tomorrow and I know it's during the time that you normally train but I wanted to ask if you, or some of your friends would accompany me for safety. I cannot order you as you are all just guests here, but with two attempts on my life I am a little frightened." Reader either smooths her dress down, or wipes her sweaty palms on her skirt - Feyd isn't sure which.

"You know my training schedule?" Feyd asks, a grin on his face. He'd never seen her watching him train with his men but from the maroon flush on her cheeks he was now sure that she had.

Reader looks down, embarrassed. And that's when Feyd remembers he is not the Harkonnen heir right now, able to flirt and propose to any highborn woman he sets his heart on. He's a lowly servant and may as well be an earthworm pining after Shai-Hulud.

This is going to end in tears.

He agrees to go.

Ok this was supposed to be a quick idea where Feyd had to pretend to be a commoner while spying on Reader and her family, and Princess Reader fell for him while thinking they could never be together but the uhhhh political thriller explanation for why he was spying got a little out of hand. That's my bad. (also Political powerhouse Reader is maybe my fave trope atm as evidenced by 1, 2, 3 and now 4)

#Pallosan 3 is in fact named after my favourite pokemon the sandcastle one #feyd rautha harkonnen #feyd x reader #feyd x you #original #political powerhouse reader

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Cultivate Self-Love & Boost Self-Esteem

Acknowledging these two truths is essential: 

You have inherent worth. No one can deprive or deplete you of this value – except yourself. 

Only you can be the hero of your own life. It's no one's obligation to be your personal cheerleader – except you. 

Understanding that only you are responsible and able to generate your sense of happiness and fulfillment sets you free. 

How To Practice Self-Love: 

Discover and live by your values: Unapologetically! Some of the best advice I ever got when I was in high school (the OG Tumblr era lol) was this sentiment that I still live by: It’s important to live your life with respect and consideration for others but to never live for others. Your life is for YOU, not THEM. Remember: Self-neglect has a domino effect. You don't know how to provide others with the proper emotional space and validation until you first give it yourself. 

Find what gives you energy: What activities, habits, and people in your life help you feel alive and most connected? Lean into these routines. Make it a priority to spend time with these valuable people who earned a place in your inner circle. Give yourself the gift of ease whenever possible. Life is hard enough just by virtue of existing and having to engage with society daily. 

How To Build Self-Esteem: 

Gain confidence in your areas of mastery: Affirm your strengths. These can be character traits, skillsets, accomplishments, etc. Any truths about your personality and achievements that you can use to hype yourself up. While being delusional has its place when setting goals, I’ve found it easier to internalize naturally healthy levels of confidence and self-esteem when I can back it up with facts or experiences grounded in reality. 

Perceive your past mistakes as life lessons: Understand that every decision can serve as a data point. Every action has a certain outcome – whether that’s positive or negative. Seek to understand how your behavior, actions, and reactions shaped either outcome. Lean into the patterns that created positive results and adjust those that led to negative results when encountering similar situations in the future. 

Release the desire for revenge: Stop giving away your power to others. Stay in your own lane, unbothered. The ultimate revenge is personal success and fulfillment. 

Acknowledge what’s outside of your control: Don’t internalize outcomes that occurred due to external factors outside of your control. Other people’s actions, reactions, mannerisms, criticisms, and praise are most often (if not always) a reflection of how they perceive themselves. Detach yourself from the outcome or approval of others. Once you gain an understanding of yourself, your values, how you want to show up in the world, and ways to feel secure in your own skin, it's easier to stay objective when dealing with a high-stakes situation, conversation, or conflict. Once you cultivate a sense of self-respect and integrity, you can be objective and have the energy to listen to and validate others as needed. 

Focus on your goals and priorities: Remain laser focused on achieving your career, personal growth, health, relational, and other life goals. Make your fundamental habits and most valuable relationships in your life your utmost priority. Everything else is an outside indulgence or distraction. Choose to give into your temptations wisely. Prioritize your life to ensure you make room for pleasure, love, abundance, and joy. You have the ability to give to others freely once you’ve already filled up your own cup. 

Remember everything takes time and experience: No one has it all figured out. It’s okay if you’re not where you expected to be or desire to be at this stage of your life. Stop comparing yourself – we all have our own paths. Choose to do one small thing every day to make your life better – either a step towards reaching a goal or indulging in a deep desire. Ensure there's a healthy (not necessarily equal) balance between the two. Leave your future self better than you found your past self. Express compassion towards yourself and acknowledge that you’re doing your best. Everything starts to make considerably more sense in hindsight. 

#femme fatale #dark femininity #dark feminine energy #high value mindset #hypergamy #the feminine urge #high value woman #it girl #confidence #self respect #self improvement #life advice #advice #boundaries #self confidence #self love #self esteem #success mindset #affirmations #mindset #mindfulness #female excellence #female empowerment #female power #level up #level up journey #femmefatalevibe #feminism #self concept #higher self

[drdemonprince]

The Dawn of Everything is a book about the history of human inequality, and of the concept of states — that is, governments that reign over an entire body of land and the people upon it, using information, violence, and propagandistic charm in order to so. Though today state governments touch basically every corner of the planet, laws dictate how we must behave, and a sharp divide separates the wealthy and powerful from the poor and humble, there is no reason to believe humans were always going to wind up living this way, or that we should continue to.  It turns out that most gatherings of humans that have existed in history were not ruled by states. States are a recent invention, really, dating back only a couple hundred years at most — and before the entire world became covered in seemingly all-powerful state governments, leaders didn’t possess ultimate control over their subjects. In fact, subjects had a degree of choice over whether to remain subjects at all.  Henry VIII certainly wouldn’t have thought of himself as leading a state called England, for example, though we might talk about him as if he were a state leader now. Even with whatever military might, wealth, and charm he might have possessed, he could never ensure that a representative sent on his behalf would actually follow his orders. It was difficult to punish a treasonous or dishonest courtier once they were out of the king’s immediate physical grasp. Wengrow & Graeber state that in fact, this is true of most monarchs and rulers throughout human history.  To take an example from a completely different realm of the world, the societies of the Incas and Aztecs were also quite permeable; though they engaged in warfare, war games, and ritualistic killings, these and many other Indigenous American peoples couldn’t restrict the movement of all that lived within what we now call their “empire”. In fact, they didn’t really have empires in the way we typically mean that word. Individuals moved in and out of these societies quite freely at all times. There was no citizenship, there were no borders, and there usually was no standing military. Kings and chiefs had very little oversight over what was happening in their kingdoms, and people frequently left of their own accord. 

It’s difficult for modern people to imagine a life of such unbridled liberty and unauthoredness. Today, our names and histories follow us everywhere that we go. Knowledge about who we are, where we’ve lived, the kinds of jobs we’ve labored in, and even the medical issues we’ve endured can follow us everywhere we go. Even if we travel to far-away lands with different languages and cultures, we have to seek approval from multiple governments in order to do so, and we can’t be freed of our old associations if we do.  But in the past, humans could cast off their names and histories, or even have their names changed by a new culture they’d joined. Entire societies of people split off from existing cultures, and then chose to distinguish themselves from those old cultures as much as humanly possible, with hunters & raiders sometimes becoming peaceful foragers and vice versa. 

Throughout most of human history, state rule was not supreme, social rules were not inviolable, and people did have some say over the rules of the societies in which they lived. In their book, Wengrow and Graeber argue that most of humanity enjoyed three fundamental freedoms — and that the loss of these three freedoms is why we now live with deeply entrenched inequality that can’t seem to be moved.  The three freedoms that most of our ancestors enjoyed, but which most modern humans lack are:  The freedom to leave. The freedom to disobey an order. The freedom to create new ways of relating to one another.  In the remainder of this essay, I will break each of these freedoms down, provide some historical and anthropological evidence for their widespread existence in human history, and explain what the loss of them means for us today. Consider this a supercharged Spark Notes of Graeber and Wengrow’s Dawn of Everything, and a reflective review sharing some of the book’s most important take-aways. 

The rest of this essay is free to read or listen to on my substack!

[hopepetal]

This is something I wrote a couple months back, but never did anything with the au after.

Writing Masterlist

--

“Hey, G-man?”

Scar’s calling for him again, in the same way he’s always done. Grian can’t blame him– they’re soulbound, after all, and that man seeks approval and attention in a way that makes Grian almost want to picture him with floppy ears and a wagging tail. Almost, but not quite, because Scar is already so perfectly Scar that it infuriates Grian. 

Scar pokes his head into the keep, and Grian tries to hold back a sigh as he shuts the chest he was rummaging through. “Hey, G-man, I was just wondering–”

Grian interrupts him. “Scar, if this is about the pandas again, I’m not going to be very happy.” He tries not to wince when he shuts the poor man down. He doesn’t want to be cruel, and it pains him every time he sees Scar’s face fall, but Grian has long been unable to afford the luxury of friends.

It wasn’t always this way, of course it wasn’t. What kind of story starts out with a character who’s already sad? Clearly not an entertaining one, not to the omnipresent beings that decided they’d have a hand in controlling Grian’s own. No, a story had to start out with something precious, something fragile. Something like flowers, like friends and an oath, or a loyal companion as your only friend.

And then, just when you think you’ve finally won, that precious thing is taken from you and destroyed, and you are never the same and that’s what makes a story interesting. 

In Grian’s opinion, a person’s life isn’t a story that can be erased and rewritten when it doesn’t suit your taste, but who is he to challenge the narrative gods who call themselves the Watchers? Sure, he once swore he’d never bow to authority and be a force of pure chaos and revolution, but those values tend to falter after being forced to kill the one person outside his family that he’d allowed to touch his wings. So sue him.

Scar laughs, but it’s not the kind of laugh Grian’s used to hearing. It’s the kind of laugh that comes from nerves, along with shaking hands and jumbled thoughts and fear that you’re going to screw everything up. “Nah, I just wanted… I still want to, I just, you know, I wanted to check in! See how my partner is doing! Normal things that allies do, because they can!”

Grian tenses up the moment the word ‘partner’ leaves Scar’s mouth. It’s familiar in the same way the desert sun is. It’s bitter in the way it feels so familiar, but so strange at the same time. Scar hasn’t called them “partners” since third life. It’s only ever been “soulmates” or “soulbounds”, because that’s all they were. Two people who had their souls randomly bound together by fate, against their will. They were not partners. They were allies, sure, but it’s only reasonable to ally with the person who shares your life.

Grian stands up, sighs, and slowly turns to face Scar. “What do you want…” The words get stuck in his throat as he realizes what Scar’s holding.

Scar looks up at Grian, and offers him a bouquet of lilacs and poppies. “Can we… can we still be friends?”

And Grian feels...

He feels. 

For the first time since the desert, since the harsh sun shone down on tanned skin, bruised and bleeding. For the first time since he beat his best friend to death and jumped to his own, Grian feels a crack in the numb, emotionless barrier he’s built like fortress walls around his heart. 

It’s all he can do to keep from letting those carefully crafted walls crumble as he stares at the lilacs and poppies held in his soulmate’s hands. Flowers given to him once by his partner, with skin as grey and lifeless as steel, were now being offered to him by the very same hands Grian remembers desperately clinging to after death. 

“What is this, Scar?” he asks, and he tries to keep his tone as cold as the icy fear that slowly grips his heart. 

Grian still remembers the confusion in Scar’s eyes. He could never forget how Scar patiently waited for him to finish sobbing out desperate apologies and pleas for forgiveness, before taking his hands and telling him “it’ll be alright, Grian. That sounds like some awful nightmare.”

And no matter who he asked, it was always the same thing. Slight confusion, a furrowed brow, and a gentle “are you alright?” as if they hadn’t lived and died by the sword for months on end.

He’d been half-convinced he was making it all up in his head before Scott came to him after last life and told Grian what he knew. It had been comforting, at the very least, to know that there was someone else who understood.

But as for the rest of the players...

It was only natural Grian began to drift away. It was only natural that he closed off his heart to the world. They wouldn't understand– couldn't, because to them, the death games were nothing but particularly bad nightmares Grian had, despite the carefully practiced insistence that they did believe him, he just had to take a deep breath and they’d talk about it and–

The look in Scar’s eyes, so jarringly green and bright, is something Grian only saw when those very same eyes were red. 

Scar chuckles awkwardly, looking away. “Look, Grian, I... I know I’m not exactly the smartest guy around, but I can tell when something’s up. Not only that, but I…” He pauses for a moment, trying to think his way through his words. “Grian, I’m going to be completely honest with you here. I died. And then, all of a sudden, bam! I wake up, and I’m here! And, woah, what are the odds, you’re here too! And at first, I was overjoyed, but then I realized…” Scar’s voice saddens, and he looks back up at Grian. “I realized that something was wrong. And, y’know, you’d think a man would know that somethin’s wrong when he wakes up from death, I mean, that’s the one thing you don’t wake up from, but like I said, I’m not the brightest fella!”

Grian knows that’s a lie. Scar is brilliant, in his own sort of way, and that was proven by how he’d convinced everyone that he was anything but that. Grian had seen him in action, when he swindled people out of their diamonds, armor, and weapons during third life. Grian knows that Scar is one of the smartest people he’s ever met, and yet he can’t find the way to say that.

He can’t find the way to say anything, apparently, because he’s in shock. Probably. Is that how this worked? Whatever it was, he was sure it made him look positively stupid, standing there completely unresponsive like a zombie.

However it makes him look, it clearly worries Scar. “...heyyyy. Earth to G-man. Hello, Grian? Don’t die on me now, that would be bad. That’s– that’s my thing, remember? C’mon, G, wakey wakey!”

Grian snaps out of whatever daze he was in, and tries to keep his voice from shaking when he speaks. “...do you really… remember…?” He sounds quite a bit like a lost child, and feels like one too. “The desert…?”

Scar’s expression softens. He holds out the flowers with a hesitant smile. “I don’t really know what’s going on,” he admits, “but–”

Grian throws his arms around Scar, tears streaking down his face. The bouquet of flowers falls to the ground as Scar gasps, before he hesitantly hugs Grian back. 

The carefully crafted walls around Grian’s heart collapse.

#my writing #goodtimeswithscar #grian #desertduo #double life #life series fanfic

[azrielgreen]

Do you ever worry that writing dead dove fic could negatively impact your writing career in the future? I'm kind of struggling with this, I've seen so many authors careers ruined by doing much less "problematic" things than writing non-con in a fic. I'd be devastated if by some miracle I managed to write a book that actually got popular just to be canceled by someone digging up my fanfic. From what I've seen the book community is even more harsh than fandom, there's no nuance or room for discussion whatsoever, when the hammer falls that's it and no one wants to be seen as being on the wrong side so they won't read your book. I don't want to limit myself creatively or have to be secretive and paranoid, I'm here to make friends, but I also don't want to shoot myself in the foot. I'm just curious if you've thought about how you'd handle a situation like that.

This is a really sad way of looking at things and I'm really sorry that the absolute state of fandom has people feeling so down and so heavily policed.

I don't ever worry about this.

One of the first messages I ever got about 'You're Divine' was someone telling me that it meant so much to them that I was open about who I am and upfront about writing fic because it made them believe one day a fanfic writer might break into the publishing industry.

There are THOUSANDS of professional writers who also write fanfic, many who are very open about it. I will be one of them.

This Dead Dove "Panic" isn't new, it comes and goes. This discourse is old as shit and just about as interesting to anyone except the people who are eagerly learning puritanical ways to bully and harass.

I always write for myself. I write what I want, how i want and I will share that with the people who want to read for it for as long as I can. I will content warn and create as many safe barriers for readers as I can. I will always write with empathy and nuance and authentic curiosity and i will always stay open to the changes i can make to be more open minded, more inclusive, to broaden my horizons and explore with an open heart.

I will not censor myself.

I will not stand on a pedestal and loudly decry others to detract attention from myself and my own works.

I will not stand for bullying and I will NOT quieten my literary voice because there are those who think that depicting rape is endorsing rape. I won't bow to those who seek to remove the context every single time and I will never bow to purity culture.

If I sell 10 books in my life, I'll know that's 10 people who really wanted to read my work and they did. That's amazing to me.

I have nothing but respect for those who choose to shield their identity, who write with pseuds, who protect themselves.

But if I can make one fucking person feel better about themselves and their interests, about writing darker material... if i can make ONE person feel unashamed and confident enough to write what they want to, then that'll be worth everything.

I'm always going to write what I want and publishing will be the same. I have no intention of watering myself down for mainstream approval.

The literary world cannot be made up of only ONE type of story. It cannot be censored. It must not be purified and sanctified. Some stories are ugly. Shocking. Horrifying. Brutal. Provocative. The expanse of human emotion of vast and complex. As humans, we sometimes have a need to experience complex, ugly emotions within a framed narrative of safety. We read and we write for so much MORE than moral virtue signalling. It's tiring to see some of the most important stories being blanket labelled as "problematic" just for existing. To see people ignore warnings and context and thoughtlessly embodying the modern puritan.

I'll never stop being who I am and writing for myself. Everything else is secondary. Once you start writing for other people, bowing to purity culture, diluting yourself... it's already over.

Fuck that.

Love, Az.

💜💜💜

#askaz

[okaylorrainee]

her way of water finale

characters. neteyam & female reader. sully family. tsireya.

synopsis. neteyam and his family left their clan to seek uturu from yours. on their first night, neteyam wanders by the shore to clear his mind. he finds himself away from everyone’s marui pods and comes across you as you bathed - he couldn’t get you out of his mind since then.

contains. timeskips. skinny dipping. kissing. all sfw, nothing wild.

note. thank you all for reading this story! had lots of fun while writing this. this fic is officially the first one i’ve finished in my years of writing fanfics. see you in my next avatar story! (lo’ak or tsu’tey x reader) <3

taglist. @rainbowsocks @mashiromochi @anm3mi @fanboyluvr @anxietydrogz @sakura-onesan @amortencjja @kaealowri @jkeluv @xxlaynaxx @mirikusashes @strangerdangerwrites @hafutoru @inluvwithneteyam @jjkclub @lovergirl-3000 @papadragun

Ch 07 [ previous . masterlist ]

flying with neteyam was an experience you knew you would never forget, and the same could be said for him. the few minutes you’ve asked from kiri became hours because every moment was wonderful that you’ve lost track of the time. you watched the ocean together and got to know each other more as the conversation went on, you didn’t want this to end; neteyam was genuinely so fun to be with.

just like that, days went on and it’s been weeks since that moment. from there on, spending time with each other became normal for you both. every day would either be him joining you to hunt or you just hanging out somewhere on the island talking and training until eclipse came. eventually, you even felt comfortable around him enough for you to let him come with you every night when you ventured to the other side of the island to do whatever it was you were doing. neteyam never joined you in the water though, he would only sit quietly on a tree branch, looking somewhere else as he enjoyed listening to you sing the songs he later figured out were your parents’ life stories.

this connection you were forming with neteyam didn’t come unnoticed by everyone around you. after all, many of the people knew you as someone who was too busy to socialize. even your peers struggled to keep to themselves when you seemed inseparable as days went on. not a day goes by that neteyam wasn’t seen with you. he had even given you one of those extra throat comms their family brought with them to awa’atlu just so you could call him anywhere if you were in trouble; jake became interested in meeting you when his son asked.

when the tulkuns came back, it meant that it was another time for the metkayina coming-of-age rituals. you had mentioned this to neteyam before, and he asked you to help him prepare; he seemed eager to be recognized as a warrior. perhaps he grew tired of the limits and being treated like a child when he was already a skilled warrior back in his clan, or perhaps he couldn’t wait to ride through the oceans with you in your skimwings, just like you promised. 

when you introduced him to your spirit sister, aweä, he felt even more encouraged to overcome the tests of the coming-of-age rituals. aweä was very fond of neteyam. because of your spiritual connection with her, it wasn’t difficult for her to notice the feelings you had for the man. she expressed how she supported you and wished for your success, and how she approved of him becoming your mate. you simply laughed at her, saying, “he has to succeed in the trials first.”

and succeed he did. neteyam easily prevailed in taming a skimwing. you watched from afar when neteyam swam and dove with his new partner, a proud grin on your face as his siblings cheered beside you. everyone saw how he flew with his skimwing while raising his spear with both hands, yelling his own victory cheer as he locked eyes with you. tsireya teased you all day about it.

neteyam, unsurprisingly, proved successful for the tulkun trials as well. when he came back with the more experienced hunters with a huge grin on his face, everyone already knew. you immediately went and threw yourself at him, arms around his neck as he laughed and returned the embrace. the people cheered as you guided him to the hut where tonowari, jake, and the other hunters were waiting. you sat beside him, smiling the entire time he was given his first tattoo. neteyam would wince from the pain every now and then, but you held his hand to encourage him, such a sweet act was smiled upon by his parents and the adults who acted as yours.

the next few days were wonderful. with neteyam now officially recognized as a warrior in the clan, your promise to ride with him was soon to be fulfilled. all that was left was for you to call for your skimwing and connect with her again. neteyam placed his hands on your shoulders to help ease your anxiety, a gesture to let you know he was here. “you can do it. she will be fine.”

you put your fingers on top of his hand, inhaling deeply before calling for your skimwing. the water was pushing and pulling beneath you, and it takes a while before the creature shows up. neteyam gently squeezed your shoulders, urging you to approach the animal. “go.”

you took slow steps to come closer to your companion and neteyam watched you from the shore. breaking away from your shared gaze, you drew your attention back to the skimwing and began to pet it carefully. “kaltxì, kaltxì. i have missed you. will you accept me as your rider again?”

the skimwing opened its mouth and puffed out a deep breath, as if it was replying to you. you took your queue whilst you observed the animal, gently connecting yours with it. a sudden wave of emotions gushed through your body when you felt the skimwing’s entire being. her breath, her heart, and her mind - showing you the fond memories you had together that she kept, it all overwhelmed you so much. you truly missed your partner. 

you began tearing up as you moved to mount the skimwing, whispering an apology to her over and over because of how much you neglected her. you hadn’t even thought that she was missing you too. 

neteyam smiled at you affectionately as he watched. your connection with your partner warmed his heart, he was so proud and happy for you. from that day on, you rode your skimwings together almost every day, exploring the ocean and hunting together, discovering more about the beauty of the ocean with you by his side.

everything was perfect. you hadn’t felt so content and happy with your life in such a long time. it was like the deep hole in your heart had disappeared, and the one who filled it was neteyam. 

neteyam who took you flying for the first time and continued to do so every now and then because you loved it so much. neteyam who offered almost all of his hunt to you everytime he got back, that the people now assumed you were courting each other. neteyam who treats you with so much care he would run to your side whenever you called him using the throat comms. and neteyam, whom you spend every night with when you hide away from the village, the same place where he first found you and thought you were beautiful.

you smiled as you closed your eyes, thoughts of him clouding your mind as you reminisced the past few months you’ve spent together. finally, you’ve embraced the feelings you’ve developed for him. your heart was so full, aching for this man. there was no one you’d want more.

you curled your toes on the sand beneath you as you relaxed on the water again. the moment you opened your eyes, you were met with the same view you saw every night when you swam. of course, you were here again, and neteyam was with you too, up on a tree, overlooking the ocean and your back that was turned to him, body submerged in the water. 

you weren’t speaking and neither was he, only the waves and the tree leaves that rustled from the breeze created sounds. but that was until he spoke. “why are you keeping this affair of yours a secret?” he has been with you here for so many nights, and yet he only asked now. 

“it is not a secret. nobody else has simply noticed to ask.” you explained as you fixed the strands of your hair from behind you. you paused for a few seconds before continuing, “water is around us and within us. every night i come here to be one with the water. because as the tulkun and fishes swim bare, i believe we should too. at least, every now and then.” you smiled. “it is what my mother has taught me, her way of water.” 

neteyam didn’t reply, absorbing what you said.

a few seconds of silence went by, and you suddenly turned around to face him. neteyam’s eyes shifted to you in surprise. usually when you were finished, you would tell him first to turn around before you faced him and went out of the water. neteyam wanted to look away, but your gaze on him was too steady, he couldn’t bring himself to. 

“neteyam, why don’t you join me in the water?” you invited him, combing your hair to your front and letting them fall to hide your upper body.

he felt his eyes widen, and he tried not to stutter. “... are you sure?”

a gentle smile appeared on your lips. “i have told you now why i come here every night. do you not agree with my belief?”

he exhaled from his mouth and jumped down from the tree branch. “i do. i think it is very meaningful. your mother’s teaching has helped you form a very beautiful mindset.”

you smiled again before turning your back to him, saying nothing else. you watched the glowing ocean floor, deep in thought. you didn’t notice neteyam approaching behind you.

“should i take off everything as well?” he asked in a low voice.

“if that is what you are comfortable with.”

you hear him moving from behind you. you feel the ripples of the waves move against your skin as he enters the water, but you didn’t say anything and continued to look at the vast ocean in front of you. 

neteyam finds your arm when he closes the gap between you. he’s standing right behind you, breath hitched and hesitating on what to do next. his hand is cold, but his presence was warm on your rear. you smiled even if he couldn’t see, grabbing his arm and pulling him gently to let him embrace you. you rested your head back on his shoulder and your hands on his arms that were around your waist. “how are you feeling?” you asked him.

his warm breath blew on your skin as he answered, “to be honest, i do not feel any different.” ignoring his nervousness from this skin-to-skin contact, that is.

you chuckled at his response and turned around to face him. again, he is startled, and he tries hard not to look anywhere else but your eyes. you cupped his cheeks with your palms, and you noticed how warm they had become - he was blushing. “come, let us do something fun.” you slightly grinned, tugging his arm gently as you dragged him to the deeper part of the ocean.

“what are we going to do?” he allowed himself to be dragged by you.

“breathing training.” 

he paused for a while. “are you serious?”

you laughed again. “yes.”

as your bodies fully submerged in the water, you focused on nothing but each other. you were both kicking your feet and swaying your arms, trying to keep yourselves in your position. you could see his entire self, and he could see you. the way your eyes were drawing him in made it easy for him to concentrate on returning your stare, even as your hair would float away from hiding your skin. you were so so beautiful in his eyes. not even the glowing fishes nor plants surrounding you could make him look away.

minutes underwater go by like seconds, neteyam was enjoying whatever this is you were doing to notice the time - he could stay here forever, he thought. only when he felt his insides cramp did he realize he was about to lose his breath soon. and that was the only time he broke away from you - his face couldn’t help but to crumple.

you smiled watching him, like the first time you dragged him into the water with you for breathing exercise when you were upset with him. back then, you didn’t do anything but observe him catch his breath. but now, it is different. you swam closer to him, lifting your hands to catch his cheeks. neteyam couldn’t even find the time to react when you pulled him closer, bringing your lips to his. his eyes gaped when he felt air coming into his mouth.

you felt him pull you closer in an attempt to deepen the kiss. you brought your arms around his neck, and you stayed like that for a while. neteyam could feel how his heart was about to explode.

when you withdrew from the kiss, he wasted no time in pulling you with him as he floated to the surface. he hugged you tightly before drawing back to kiss you again. he leaves slow and gentle kisses from your forehead to your eyes, your cheek, your jawline, and then your neck - you were giggling the entire time. 

with your palms on his pectorals, you look at him adoringly. neteyam felt the love in them, but he couldn’t believe it not until he heard you say it yourself. and so, he asked, “does this mean you have feelings for me?” 

you smiled again, sliding one hand up to his neck to kiss his lips. “i do.” you whispered to him as you caressed his hair. “my heart is yours, neteyam.” and that was all he needed to hear before taking your lips once again.

on that night, you shared nothing but love to each other, and it has been many years since your confession. many years since you have both announced your choice of mate, many years since you’ve tied your souls together in a ceremony in front of eywa.

the people were overjoyed for the both of you, your closest friends and family especially. tuk was happy to have another older sister especially because that sister was you, kiri could finally stop her worrying about her brother, and lo’ak was just very happy for you and for his older brother. among your peers, tsireya was the most excited one of all. after all, she witnessed your love from the beginning, and she was the friend that helped bring you two together. it took her long enough to realize that you, her friend, were the metkayina woman neteyam was talking about from before - she feigned being upset for a whole day when she figured it out because you didn’t tell her. but you and neteyam made it up to her by setting her and lo’ak up on a little date.

jake sully and his mate, neytiri, welcomed you into the family with warm hugs. at first neytiri was worried about her eldest son - he was a mama’s boy, but as she got to know you, she knew her worries were not necessary. you were a sweet and kind girl, and a strong and capable huntress too. she and jake knew you were perfect for neteyam. 

your acting father, inäin, wasn’t as affectionate to neteyam as his family was to you. you remembered it as clear as day when he challenged your mate to a duel. he was quite the overprotective one, declaring how he would never give you up until neteyam proved to him that he was able to protect you. in the end when he lost, he softened up and admitted that he was only worried for you, his ‘daughter’, because you had lost your parents once, but what if it was his time to leave, what would happen to you then? 

you watched as neteyam firmly held inäin’s hand, proclaiming, “i will protect her with my life. even when the stars fall, she is my priority. don’t worry, sir, we will form a loving family together, and i will make her the happiest woman in pandora.”

neteyam was really a man of his words. you recalled how his sincerity impressed you once before back when you were young adults, he truly has not changed in these many years that have passed. currently, you are in your thirties, still in awa’atlu with all your families and friends, except there was an addition to your loving circle, and another one on the way.

you placed a hand on your growing stomach as you watched your daughter feeding a young ilu with her father, the love of your life, neteyam. 

a smile formed on your lips as you raised your hand to wave to them, “ma’yawne, it is time to go back. the others are waiting for us.”

neteyam lifted his head to smile at you before carrying your daughter in his arms. she giggled in his neck, hiding herself in there playfully as neteyam jogged to your side.

you tucked strands of your daughter’s hair behind her ear as soon as neteyam stood in front of you, and this made her turn to you with a grin. on her neck was an ornament you made weeks before you gave birth to her - a pretty necklace with a pearl in the center, the same one you obtained with neteyam years ago on your first trip together. the pearl sat right on her chest where her heart was, and it was like you and neteyam’s love was closest to hers - thinking about it made you smile. 

neteyam is the best thing that happened in your life, and you are his. you hadn’t loved like this before, and you were sure you would never love another like this in your life. 

©️ okaylorrainee 2023. please do not re-upload, translate my content anywhere without permission.

Ch 07 [ previous . masterlist ]

#loreraine #neteyam x reader #neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam x you #neteyam sully x reader #avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar twow #avatar 2 #atwow neteyam #atwow fluff #neteyam x metkayina!reader #herwayofwater

[unimatrix-581]

We can draw parallels to the dynamic between House and Wilson versus House and Cameron. Wilson and Cameron are both massive people-pleasers, and self-sacrificial, as demonstrated by Wilson very early on, where he defies Vogler by voting no on firing House. Vogler gives him the option to resign, and Wilson takes it, even though 3-4 other members on the board have backed him up. Wilson is visibly upset as House waltzes in to ask for a file (about an experimental drug). Their friendship is being tested for the second time (first one being House in withdrawal), but Wilson reserves judgment, knowing what he has signed himself up to from the day they became friends, just that, ‘my marriage sucks, but hey, at least I have you by my side… it’s pathetic… is it?’ and House responds by saying (looking exactly like a kicked puppy), ‘no, you matter, always have, end of story… even though I’ll do it all over again…’ Those aren’t the exact quotes btw, but, that’s the basic gist of the unspoken love they have demonstrated for one another, time and time again. Very affectionate.

Cameron, on the other hand, resigns from her post to save everyone else on the team (from getting fired), but the motive revolves around House’s wellbeing, his feeling of the matter. He doesn’t show it, but he adores the ducklings. Sticking it to the man backfires on him, spectacularly, and now he has to face the consequences of his action. It’s his pathology, he can’t help it. He’s torn over who he has to let go, even though he does toy around with the idea (coping mechanism perhaps?) to weed out the whistleblower, to try to deal with the situation by being rational about it. As expected, the decision on the ‘who’ drags on. We know Cameron crushes on House, hard, signalling a potential love match between the two but the idea is never fully realised. She goes, and we spend two episodes max without her.

At this point, Vogler is no longer in the picture, or in House’s words, ‘Vogler (the concept) is dead.’, but Cameron is reluctant to return to her post, rather, she has one condition… for House to take her out on a date (reverse power harassment?? hello???)

Okay, so, the parallels aren’t really, paralleling, because Wilson’s motive for protecting House is ambiguous. It could be his pathological need to seek out House’s approval by standing up to Vogler, but his reasoning has never been set in stone. Just, ‘people-pleaser, i.e. protect friend.’ I know that Wilson and Cameron are often compared with one another due to their shared traits, that being: 1. Kind. In epic proportions. To a worrying amount.

2. “They have so much love to give.” but they end up hurting them (or themselves) in return.

They treat House as a ‘charity case’, with varying degrees of dignity to the recipient. As an unwavering aroace heterosexual, I can’t help but think that House/Cameron is inevitable, or organic, because my assumption is grounded in the sociological expectation of ‘boy meets girl…’, and the fact that House is somewhat reciprocating. However, we see a similar progression with House and Wilson, except, the furthest they’ve gone to admitting their feelings for one another is either:

Wilson’s ‘why not DATE you?’ moment in S4.

The S8 car scene. (Ow, my heart.)

Wilson: I need you to tell me… that you love me. (uhhh)

They don’t fit into the mould of the stereotypical dudebros of the time, allowing for implicit affection to seep into the dialogue. It gives us room to assume that, hey, maybe what they have is not exactly platonic… because, as stated earlier, Wilson goes far and beyond to prevent House from getting fired. Wilson’s unrelenting pursuit to play protectorate for his goofy boy best friend over the years is always a topic of discussion.

IN CONCLUSION!!... House/Wilson? Keep it coming.

#wrote this while i was having a meltdown #you're welcome #or not #sorry #im not much of an analyst #house md #james wilson #allison cameron #greg house #hilson #hatecrimes md #gays anatomy #robert sean leonard #rsl #hugh laurie #mine

[lansplaining]

Why do people stan JC and JGY?

We're all older/est siblings, and thus all live in a constant state of barely-suppressed rage and misdirected parental instincts. This means when we see a younger sibling like Jiang Cheng or Jin Guangyao driving their life into the ground like a malfunctioning bumper car, we have an innate need to watch this happen and both gloat about it and want to help. It's actually birth order science.

I'm very pro-torture? I think I speak for all of us when I say that when I'm experiencing media, I seek out characters who undertake actions I fully morally approve of first of all, and a big one for me is torture. Obviously Wei Wuxian also qualifies here, but he's sort of a fake torture fan lol like he does it the one time and never seems to go back to it? But there's so much space to imagine how both Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao spent years innovating on their torture techniques. It's practically its own form of cultivation, if you think about it! Inspiring.

This one's more personal, but as you can probably guess from my username, I am a deeply pedantic and irritating person (note: this is true). So obviously I'm very drawn to both characters' "why will no one listen to me!!!!" energy. Again, when I'm watching shows, I try to find the character whose personality seems closest to mine in ways that make me feel soothed and reflected in unchallenging ways so that I can project myself into the narrative and imagine how I'd handle things better than they would, and that's definitely something both of them provide to us humorless scolds of the world.

Maybe this one should have been first lol but I felt guilty nitpicking your premise-- we're not people? we're actually all bots haha no actual person would ever like Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao, who would do that to themselves

#ask answered #...if... if you don't get that this is a joke then #i don't know what to do #i will happily write a post about why i love these two but not for an anon who isn't even going to see it lol

[neptunes-sol-angel]

"You believe you are unworthy, but I know you are so much more. Sometimes the world doesn't need a white knight, sometimes it needs something darker, so you have two choices: you could either become the destroyer of this world, or you could be its savior." - Dr. Fate (Black Adam 2022)

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Pile One👤

The backbone of your shadow relates to manipulation and the desperation to be known and seen, even if it means being acknowledged for notorious deeds. You're savvy when it comes to being charismatic and having your way with others, as well as getting on another person's good side. You have this cheeekiness about you that's both your strength and your downfall, it's charming and useful for networking but is also a gateway for making enemies that don't find your wittiness to be amusing or convincing. You could see another person's trust as something that you should take, from finding their weaknesses and exploiting them through soft lies or willingly dousing the person with what it is that they seek, even if it's you, in particular, because I'm seeing a lot of puppetry/pinnochio themes, you could be the type to be a couple of steps ahead of people that want to manipulate you by allowing them to think that they have power over you, but it ends up being you with most of the control in the situation. On the other side of your shadow, is acceptance that everyone will not like you and it's not your responsibility to win over their approval and letting go of thinking that everything needs force. Coexisting with your shadow, is understanding that recognition is yours by not overcompensating and and overexposing yourself to multiple people and causes. Allowing things about yourself and your life to remain a taboo, is what makes you harmonize with your shadow side while still being able to shine.  Why the world needs this, is because you teach others that lust or desire for something that someone has, isn't a valid admission or reason to give away your trust. I feel like this has a lot to do with independence, and valuing self-importance, with not just the people that learn from you, but also yourself. You could be likely to come across someone who's prone to reconciling with another person out of longing or to acquire something about them that they feel that they don't have within themselves (confidence, love, strength, etc), feeling that they need to look or be a certain way to be attractive (maybe even cling to something that they consider an enhancement that they need), or any other situation that relates to seeking power that they feel that they don't have. Your shadow mostly teaches others to find their own strengths so that they don't feel like power is something that they need to consume or force out of a person through manipulation, but I also get that the benefit of being around your shadow relates to beauty as well—it enlightens a person to know that feeling inadequate about their looks doesn't mean to do more, there's a physical appeal in what they keep as a mystery or the unparalleled allure that comes from remaining unfiltered.

Pile Two👤

I'm getting that the people who are drawn to this pile are highly in tune and developed with what the traits of their shadow side are, you guys could be rebels and skeptics instead of blindly conforming to anything, but besides having your own thoughts and beliefs, there could be something different about you that you can't exactly pinpoint on why you don't feel like you can relate to anyone in this world or what makes people likely to alienate you in some way, I feel like at some point in your life, you thought that mimicking your surroundings instead of expressing the authentic parts about yourself would make you feel more included or at home, but it never really changed anything in regards to how people treat you besides making you feel even more alone inside. This could be something that you struggled with before growing more confident with yourself, but your message about your shadow, is that the only thing about it that's holding you back, is the way that you choose to go about accepting it. Your message reminds me of the movie Megamind. Don't allow your loneliness or another person's poor reaction to you, interpret your differences as a weapon. Being unique or misunderstood shouldn't conclude you as someone who's an enemy to the world or someone to be feared. Furthermore, just because you're different, doesn't mean that you don't have anything useful to contribute to the world. Change is the only constant, and what's more useful to change than something new and what isn't common? Accepting yourself doesn't mean reducing yourself to what other people call you, nor does it reflect on how much you appear to not care on the outside. It takes grit to walk freely without anyone's validation, but don't let the hardness from your surroundings, harden you inside, or make you believe that just because the world isn't showing you care for your feelings, that you aren't deserving to express and receive sensitivity. Why the world needs your shadow side, is because that there's a truth that needs to be exposed within humanity—there isn't anything normal about it. You help others take a step closer to loving and appreciating who they are by helping them let go of trying to get others to normalize the things that aren't, and to instead, just normalize their selves. Co-existing doesn't come from fighting all of the time, or trying to get people to agree with you, co-existing starts with just being.

Pile Three👤

(specifically 1:36)

What I'm picking up about your shadow side, is that it relates to possessiveness and smothering. You guys could be very powerful visionaries because of how much they're derived from pent up emotions that you could have been taught to keep in or a lot to do with love that wasn't reciprocated, the ace of cups isn't in your spread, but I'm just getting this image of this huge cup being overfilled your feelings and dreams. When I think of the people in the pile, I think of Georgia from the show 'Ginny and Georgia' on Netflix. You guys have a huge heart, and you mean well, but how you direct and show your love can be depicted with the worst parts of your shadow, it doesn't mean that you're a bad person at all, this is just about not particularly making the best choices when you react emotionally. What makes your shadow side combust, is not having any boundaries with the real world and what you envision for yourself, in a way that makes you inconsiderate, but also prone to heartbreak, like you could treat others as if this is just your world and they're the props. This could also look like not having boundaries with others or trying absorb another person's space. I keep picking up these specific scenarios, or should I say messages? To be careful with assuming that your love language should be something that another person should accept. I'm seeing someone growing up to be a parent, who loves their child to pieces, but shows it in a way that's self absorbed and suffocates the child in the end by wanting to give them a life that you didn't have but you don't realize that you're restricting them from their growth or identity. I'm also seeing someone having a specific dream about their life that they want for themselves, but are wanting specific people to fill in roles without realizing that everyone has free will and it's their right to have it. These themes are about making other people your happiness and in some way, robbing them of their right to make decisions in however way that this applies to your life, this isn't at all to say that this makes you bad, to make you aware. Similarly to pile one, your shadow side is needed for both the world and yourself, your message is also like life and death. You could have had a lot of endings, and are having trouble letting people or things go because of fear over it possibly being literal, as if your life ends if you can't have this specific person or achieve these specific goals, or that the only way to continue on is by living through another person, but it's not true. I feel that the cup I was thinking about earlier is actually supposed to symbolize the fountain of youth, you are the source for what makes your life lively, it isn't to be measured by the things that don't work out, create more dreams, goals, interests, but most importantly, see the next day as a reason not to attach to whoever or whatever isn't meeting you half way.

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