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devilat-thedoor · 10 months

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Hands To Yourself Pt4

Lovers🤍🤍

I should probably plan out my posting better, but i’m just sending them out as they finish. This one hurt me. So sorry in advance for that. but i hope you still enjoy💖

Part 3

Word count: 10.3k

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Warnings: (TRIGGER WARNING! SA)18+ Minors DNI, Unprotected Mirror Sex😏, Alcohol Consumption, some angst, some fluff, and Sage being the absolute worst(i’m actually sorry. i hate her as much as you guys do🙃)

Sunday morning was a busy one. You and Jake had spent the evening prior getting the pool ready and cleaning the grill up. Now you stood in your kitchen, still in your pajamas, prepping food for the cookout later and trying to tidy up as best as you could. You were working overtime to keep your mind occupied, trying your damnedest to avoid thinking about that message and picture. Despite his best efforts to assure you that he wasn’t worried about it and that you shouldn’t be either, Jake still knew you were stressed. You were rushing past him through the patio doors, carrying a handful of towels outside, when he wrapped an arm around your waist. “Baby, slow down.” He took the stack of linens from you and placed them on the wooden bench next to the grill. “We have time to get everything done, you don’t need to rush.”

You took the opportunity to bring your arms around him and rest your head on his chest. “I know, I’m sorry.” You muttered the words as he kissed the top of your head. “My anxiety is just through the roof today. I don’t know what’s going on, I just have this weird feeling in my chest…” You closed your eyes, listening to the soft beat of Jake’s heart. A sound that always calms your nerves. “I can’t stop thinking about that picture, Jake. About who sent it.”

“I know, my love.” His hand rubbed small circles on your back. “I don’t want you to keep stressing about it. It’s probably just some weirdo trying to stir up problems for entertainment.”

Before you could respond, a voice echoed inside of the house from behind you. You both turned to look through the open back door to see Josh and Sam tromping through the kitchen. “We brought some booze!” Sam shouted, holding up a case of seltzer in one hand and a case of corona in the other.

“And tequilaaaa!” Josh called after, shaking 2 bottles of the clear liquid, one in each fist. “Where do you want this?”

You pointed towards the cooler sitting by the table without a word and moved past the two brothers standing in the doorway. Stepping back into the air conditioned kitchen, you pulled a knife from the block on the counter and placed it atop the wooden cutting board. You went to the fridge to retrieve the fruit Jake had picked out yesterday after you went to the car. When you closed the refrigerator door, Sammy was standing behind it, eliciting a gasp from you as you jumped. “Jesus, Sam. Don’t do that.” Your tone came out a little more harsh than you meant it and Sam took notice.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” His voice was quiet before he cleared his throat. “Are you okay? You’re not very bubbly today.” He took the strawberries from your hand and carried them to the sink to rinse them.

You let out a soft sigh, and followed him to the sink, standing beside him. “I don’t feel bubbly. I feel anxious.” He took the blueberries from you and handed back a bowl filled with the freshly cleaned strawberries. “Sammy…” You held the bowl, waiting for him to dump the blueberries into it.

He looked down at you as he turned the faucet off, “Yeah?” Your shaky voice caught him off guard, his own voice now laced with concern. “What’s wrong, Y/N?”

You moved to the island, setting the bowl of berries down and picking up the large watermelon to place on the cutting board. “Do you remember the morning after your birthday party?”

Sam was silent for a few seconds, deep in thought. “Ummm. Yeah, I think so.” He was drying his hands on a dish towel, “When somebody slashed your tire, right? I took you to get a new one and we changed it in front of Daniel’s house.”

“Wait, what?”

His brows creased in confusion, “Oh. Was that not what you were talking about?”

You picked your knife up, slicing into the melon, “No. I mean, yeah but- What makes you say somebody slashed my tire? I thought it was just flat. Like maybe I ran over a nail or something.” You would’ve known if the tire had been purposely sabotaged. Wouldn’t you?

Sam gathered his hair into a loose bun to help you cut the fruit, tossing into the giant bowl on the countertop. “The tip of a blade or razor or something was broken off in the tire, it fell out of the hole when we took it off.” After finishing the strawberries, he grabbed the pineapple that sat in front of him, twisting the head off. “Shit, I thought you saw it too. Why are you worried about this now, anyways? That was months ago.” He let out a chuckle, expecting you to laugh with him, but when he looked at you, your face was even more troubled than when he’d first come into the kitchen. “Y/N, what is it? Is Jake giving you shit about the tire or something?”

You dropped the knife to the board, turning to face him, “Sammy, somebody was watching us out there. Taking pictures of us. Of me.” You pointed your finger at yourself, the panic beginning to set in. “Jake almost had me believing that it was just someone trying to stir up drama, but I think I’m being stalked…” Your knees started to feel weak and you felt like you couldn’t catch your breath. “Who would want to do this?” The words were choked leaving your mouth, the crushing feeling in your chest becoming heavier with each inhale.

Sam tried to calm you down, keeping his voice soft as he held your arms in his hands, but you couldn’t hear him over the sound of blood rushing in your ears. When you sunk to the kitchen floor, holding your chest as you tried to even out your own breathing, Sammy began to panic as well. “Jake! Jake, you need to get in here!”

It was a split second before your boyfriend was kneeling in front of you, asking you what was wrong. When you couldn’t respond, he snapped to Sam, “What the fuck happened?” He listened as his brother gave a speedy rundown of your conversation. “Okay, Y/N, look at me. Breathe with me, baby.” He took a deep inhale, waiting for you to follow suit before letting the air go. He repeated it over and over until you were able to breathe normally again. “Why don’t we get you a hot shower, Me and the guys will finish up.” You allowed him to help you up from the floor and usher you out of the kitchen. He turned to his brothers, mouthing that he’d be back in a minute.

Once inside the bathroom, Jake closed the door behind him and watched as you stood in front of the mirror, raking your hands through your hair. “Jake, I feel like I’m going crazy. Tell me I’m not going fucking crazy.”

He came up behind you, his hands grabbing your hips and turning you around to face him, “You’re not crazy, love… But something strange is going on.” When he felt your body tense in his hold, he shook his head. “I’ll get to the bottom of this, Y/N. I promise you, I’ll figure it out. Will you just try to relax today?”

You let your head fall back, using Jake’s arms as leverage to keep you from tipping backwards, and stared at the ceiling. “I’m gonna need a lot of help if you want me to relax…” His hands traveled to your ass and you lifted your head to look at him, a slight raise to your eyebrow.

“What kind of help are you thinking of, love?” He gave your ass cheeks a squeeze over your shorts.

Pushing his hands from you, you turned to face the mirror again, “Not now, Jake.” You rolled your eyes at him, pulling your shirt off to prepare for your shower. When your shirt hit the floor, Jake’s hand wrapped around you again, landing flat on your stomach.

He stepped closer, his body pressed against yours, “I think I know just how to get you to relax.” His free hand dipped into the waistband of your shorts to find that you had no panties on. “Tell me to stop and I’ll leave this bathroom right now so you can shower in peace.” His breath was hot on your neck as he whispered to you. He dragged a finger through your folds, surprised at how wet you were.

You felt Jake’s teeth graze your shoulder as his fingers teased you. “Baby, your brothers…” The words tumbled out through a gasp when he added the slightest bit of pressure to your clit. Your head dropped to his shoulder as you gripped the marbled sink in front of you. “Jake…”

His lips were on your ear, “Do you want me to stop?” Jake’s hand traveled lower, his middle finger pushing into your soaked core, drawing a raspy moan from your throat. “Just say the word, love.” His voice was like quicksand, sucking you in and never letting go.

“Please don’t stop.” You breathed out, rolling your hips with the rhythm of his hand. He sunk a second finger into you, the heel of his palm keeping a delicious amount of pressure on your aching clit. “Oh fuuuuck, Jake…” Your words were drawn out, whimpers cascading from your mouth.

Jake was grinding into you from behind, trying to get a bit of relief for himself. “You make prettier sounds than my guitar when I play you, sweet girl.” He cooed in your ear and you could feel his smirk on your skin, “Look at how beautiful you are in my hands. Look at you.”

LIfting your head, you caught sight of yourself in the mirror. Jake’s chin rested on your shoulder and you let your eyes connect with his. Your mouth was hung open as your breath left in huffs. His gaze alone was leading you right to your tipping point. “Wanna feel you, baby.” You grabbed his wrist, stopping his hand from moving inside of you. “I wanna watch you make me cum.” Jake had successfully made sure that he was the only thought in your head.

He removed his hand from your shorts and yanked them down, letting them pool around your ankles. “Can’t be too loud, love.” He pushed you to bend over the sink then and pulled his pants down, freeing his cock. “You gonna be good and keep quiet for me?”

You could feel the head of his dick brushing through your wet folds. “Yes, Jake, I’ll be quiet, baby.” Just as your eyes met his in the mirror again, he buried himself into you. You bit down on your lip to stifle the groan that wanted to escape. Jake drew out of you, almost fully. His palm cracked over your ass, forcing a ripple across the plush flesh. He brought his hand up to grab your shoulder before filling you back up. His cock was hitting the perfect spot with every deep stroke and you couldn’t hold it together anymore. A long whine slipped through your lips, growing in octaves with each passing second.

Jake’s hand left your shoulder to clamp over your mouth. “Hush, pretty girl.” His index and middle finger hooked into your mouth, pressing on your tongue as you closed your lips on them, “Don’t want my brothers to hear you getting fucked like this. Bent over, taking my cock like the good girl you are.” His voice was a mere whisper as his other hand traveled from your hip to rub lazy swirls on your aching clit. You could tell he was fighting his release by the way he slowed his hips, trying to get you there first. You sucked hard on his fingers and when he hit you with an impossibly deep thrust, you squeezed your thighs together, unintentionally biting down on his fingers as your pussy clenched around him. “Ow! Fuck, Y/N.” He ripped his hand from your mouth, giving it a shake before grabbing you by your hair, yanking it until your back was flat against him. “We’re biting now?” You caught his reflection in the mirror, a devious glint in eye.

His hips snapped into you harshly and you were wound so tight, ready to burst at any moment. The hand that was tangled in your hair left, finding its way to your breast, pinching your nipple between his fingers. “Jesus, I- Shit. Jake, I’m gonna-.” Your eyes screwed shut so tight, you feared they may never open again. You faintly heard Jake mumble to open your eyes, but through the fog in your brain, you couldn’t comply. “Ahh.” You hissed out. Your eyes shot open at the sudden sting you felt radiate through your shoulder, to see Jake, his teeth latched onto your skin.

He chomped hard, you were sure the imprint would be there for days. His tongue darted out to soothe over the area. “I told you to open your eyes.” The arrogance in his voice coupled with the drag of his hot tongue over your bruising flesh is what did it for you. Jake’s eye met yours in the mirror, he could feel you tighten around him like a vice grip. “C’mon, love. Let me have it.” And you did. You gave him every bit of you as your pussy fluttered around him, soaking him in your release. “Shit…” His teeth were clenched, watching your jaw hang open with no sound coming out, your brows pulled together in pure ecstasy. “Such a good girl, so fucking beautiful.” His forehead dropped to your shoulder as he emptied inside of you, his shallow breaths fanning down your back. When he slipped himself out of you, your legs shook, threatening to fold beneath you. Jake’s arms wrapped around your waist, holding you steady while you regained some shred of composure. “You okay, baby?” His words were muffled against your skin.

You gave a quiet hum and a nod, “Better than okay.” Turning around, you draped your arms around his neck, bringing his lips to yours. “I love you so fucking much, Jacob Kiszka. You know that, right?” You looked at him, admiring all the details of his face that you don’t spend enough time appreciating. His big eyes, the color of fresh coffee, shrouded by his dark lashes. The strong, sharp angle of his jaw and the small divot at the point of his chin. Your fingertips brushed over his lips as his smile formed. That smile… Beaming and wide, a display of perfect white teeth, framed by the prominent cupid’s bow of his heart-shaped lips. It made the apples of his cheeks swell, his shallow dimples making their appearance. Your index finger moved to his nose, your favorite part of his face, tracing along the bridge of it.

Jake playfully nipped at your finger, causing a giggle to bubble from your mouth. “I love you so much more, my beautiful girl.” He cupped your face, pulling you in for another kiss. “Get a shower, I’m gonna go put the guys to work on getting everything ready.” He let go of you then, heading for the door. Just as he twisted the knob, he turned back to face you. “You know they probably heard you…” He had that devious smirk on his lips again, slipping through the door and closing it before you could say a thing.

________________________________________________________

You sat on the floor of your closet, a towel wrapped around your wet body. You were digging through your tote of bathing suits, trying to decide on which one to wear for the day. Jake’s voice called from the hallway outside of the bedroom, “Hey, babe. Are you dressed? Odessa is looking for you.” He came into view, standing in the closet doorway, watching you sift through the tote. “Wear this one, this is my favorite.” He picked up the plain black bikini top and quickly found the bottoms to match it. It was definitely one of the skimpier ones you owned. Thong bottoms and cups that left almost nothing to the imagination.

Snatching the garments from him, you threw them back into the bin. “I’m not wearing that in front of our guests, Jake.” You scolded him as he chuckled under his breath. “Go away, you’re no help.” You playfully shooed him with your hands, calling after he was exiting the bedroom, “And send Dess in here!”

A few minutes later, Odessa came into the room. “Y/N? You in here, hun?”

“In the closet!” You called back, “Come help me pick out a swimsuit!”

You greeted her with a bright smile as she entered the closet, but it faltered when you saw Sage standing behind her. You tried quickly to recover your smile, but Sage had already noticed. “Hey. I hope it’s okay that I came…” She twirled the ends of hair as though she was nervous. “Dess had mentioned that you guys were having a cookout today… So, I figured- I just thought-” You stared at her as she stammered through her words, “If I’m crashing, I can go…”

Odessa looked back and forth between you and Sage, trying to decipher what was going on. When she raised her eyebrows at you, a questioning look, you did everything you could to avoid having to answer it. “Uhh, no. No it’s fine, Sage.” You shook your head, looking up at her. “I just didn’t know you were coming. But you’re more than welcome to stay, we’re happy to have you.” There was an awkward tension between the two of you and you weren’t entirely sure if you were the only one that felt it. She gave a small smile and a nod, dropping her eyes to the floor.

“Okay, so you need a bikini!” Odessa clapped her hands, sitting on the floor beside you. “Who owns this many swimsuits???” She dug her hands into the tote, pulling out handfuls of the spandex material.

You laughed at her shocked expression, “Gotta have one for every occasion.” Pulling out a few options, you laid them out on the floor. Different colors and patterns adorning each one. “These are the safest bets.”

She looked over the display, “What do you mean safest bets?”

“The ones that cover the most, I suppose?” You shrugged, “Don’t wanna show my goodies off to the boys, yanno?”

“Oh, come on.” Odessa scoffed. “Screw the boys, you’re hot. Fucking flaunt it, babe!” Her eyes landed on something in the tote and she dug for it, finally pulling it out and holding it up. “Y/N, you have to wear this one!” She shoved it in your hands.

You held it up, examining it. It was an underwire bikini top with a black gingham print. The fabric of the cups stopped about two inches from where the wire met in between them. It still covered more than the one Jake had tried to choose, but not very much more. “I don’t know, Dess. If I remember correctly…” You paused, digging for the matching bottoms in the bin, yanking it free from the tangles of all the other articles. “Yep. There’s essentially no coverage for my ass.” You showcased the bottoms to her. Not quite a thong, but the way your hips and ass would fit into it, it may as well be.

She pushed your shoulder lightly, “Who cares? Sage, wouldn’t she look so good in this one?” She looked up at her friend who was still standing in the closet doorway.

“Definitely… You should wear that one, I’m sure Jake would love it…” She gave a forced smile, but you could hear the disinterest in her voice.

Looking back to Odessa, you gave in. “You know what, fuck it.” You stood up and pulled the bottoms on under your towel. Once they were situated comfortably, you pulled the towel off and slid the top on, adjusting the cups so your breasts fit inside of them. “Dess, can you tighten the straps a little?”

“Yeah, of course.” She stood up as well, moving behind you to carry out your request. She finished one side and you gathered your hair to move it so she could get the other side. “What the fuck…” Her finger grazed over a spot on your shoulder, “Babe, what kind shit are you and Jake into?”

When you turned to look at her, she was gawking in amusement. “What do you me-” You tried to tilt your head to see what she was referring to, catching a glimpse of the deep bite mark, still present in your skin. “Fuck…” Instinctively, your hand shot up to cover it, a bright pink tint creeping over your face. You could feel the indents under your fingertips. “I guess it can get a little out of hand sometimes.”

Odessa erupted into a fit of laughter, “You guys are kinky! I like it.” You couldn’t help but laugh with her, the both of you cackling in the small space. Once your laughter died down, you noticed that Sage was gone. “Where did she go?” Odessa asked, pointing behind her to where Sage had been standing moments prior.

“No idea.” You offered a shrug and turned to pull a pair of denim shorts from the shelf above your head. You slipped the shorts on and straightened up, “Let’s go, babe.” You grabbed her arm and hauled her out of the room with you, making your way through the house. You could hear everyone’s voices coming from out on the patio mixed with the notes of the guitar solo from Hotel California by the Eagles.

Odessa stepped out the backdoor before you, announcing her presence as she yelled, “Guys, Y/N and Jake have super kinky sex and bite each other!” Her laugh bubbling out before she even finished the sentence. “Look at her shoulder!”

“Odessa!” You covered your face with your hands as everyone’s eyes fell on you.

Josh piped up from his seat to your left, “Believe me, we heard already…”

Your eyes flashed to Jake over the grill, the arrogant smirk crossing his lips. “At least you know she’s always satiated.” He sent a wink at you and you rolled your eyes.

“Okay, Alright. Can we not talk about my sex life anymore?” You pleaded to nobody in particular.

Sam came through the door behind you, holding the bowl of fruit in one hand and a tray of corn on the cob in the other, joining in the conversation at your expense. “You thought that was bad, Josh? Try staying in the hotel room next to theirs.” He put the food down on the table, turning to face you with a grin, “I swear every time she visited on the last tour, I got no sleep.”

You held your middle finger up to him, pursing your lips, “Oh fuck you, Sammy.”

“Yeah wouldn’t you like to.” He wiggled his eyebrows, sticking his tongue out at you.

You shook your head at him with a chuckle and turned away, walking a few feet to Jake. He was standing over the grill, spatula in hand, and there was Sage. She was perched on the bench next to the grill in her bikini, already having shed her clothes. She was mid sentence in a conversation with your boyfriend when you walked up, his attention immediately finding you. “Woof.” His eyes raked down your body, lingering on the swell of your breasts, lifted high in the swim top. “How is this one better than the one I picked out?” His finger grazed the underwire that rested against your sternum.

“Hmmm.” You snaked your arms around his waist, “because this one covers more than just my nipples, Jacob.” He turned in your hold, draping an arm over your shoulder to hold you close while he flipped a couple of the burgers on the grill. “Smells good. How much longer?” Your stomach was beginning to grumble.

Jake kissed the top of your head, “first batch is almost done, go get a drink, love. I’ll make you a plate when the burgers are finished.” You pressed your lips to the corner of his mouth and caught Sage staring at you. At Jake. Like she was willing him to look at her. To give her his attention.

You pulled away from him, “I think I’m gonna get in the water.” You unbuttoned your shorts and slid the denim down your legs. When you turned your back to Jake, you felt his palm crack across your ass.

Before you could scold him, he turned to his twin, “You see the way it jiggles, man?” Jake pointed at the red handprint on you. Josh responded by shaking his head with a grin, sipping on his tequila.

“If you wanted me to make it jiggle, you could’ve just asked, baby.” You gave your hips a slight shake, your voice dripping with honey as you looked back at your boyfriend, a sly smirk on your lips.

Josh let out a loud whistle and a ‘Damn, mama!’ while Odessa hooted, “Shake it, baby!” She held her beer up, saluting you. You thought you heard Sage scoff behind you, but Odessa was already distracting you from it. “Are you getting in? Because if you are, I’m right there with you.” She pulled her cream colored, crochet halter dress over her head, revealing her lilac bandeau bikini.

“Hell yeah, come on!” You grabbed a white claw from the cooler and went to the corner of the pool that held the steps. The water was cool, coaxing you further into the pool and out of the unrelenting heat. Odessa was right behind you, trying to convince Danny to get in with her. You called out to him, “Danny, get in! The water feels great!” You popped the tab on your can, chugging half of it in a few gulps.

Odessa continued to beg, “Honey, would you just get in the water?” Her hazel-colored doe eyes pleading with him. “I just wanna swim with you for a bit…Do this for me and I’ll do you a favor later.” You chuckled at her suggestive tone and watched as she held her drink above the water that came up to her waist.

Danny finally stood from his chair, yanking his shirt over his head, “You know what those eyes do to me, Dess.” He came down the steps, sinking into the water and pulling Odessa into his arms. She leaned against him, connecting her lips with his.

Wanting to give them a private moment, you trudged over to the edge of the pool, closest to the grill. You opened your mouth to call out to Jake, but closed it when you noticed Sage at his side. He was speaking and she eyed him, sucked in deep to whatever he was saying. You saw a faint smile tug at his lips as he spoke and she broke out in a laugh. The sound was like grinding metal in your ears as you watched the scene before you. She said something to him, leaning in with a flirty chuckle to put her hand on his chest. You were frozen, unable to look away from whatever was unfolding in front of you. Jake took a step away from her to break the contact she’d made, her hand falling to her side. He kept a friendly smile as she continued to talk and giggle. You wanted to know what they were talking about. Are they reminiscing about the other night? Do they have some kind of connection that you don’t know about? Why is Sage suddenly getting under your skin so badly?

“She’s getting awfully cozy…” Josh’s voice brought you back to the present as he sat on the edge beside you, letting his feet dangle into the water. “I can see it all over your face, Y/N. You have nothing to worry about.” He turned to look at Jake and Sage before returning his gaze back to you, “Jake is head over heels for you, mama. No other woman could steal his attention.” His tone was soft and genuine and, as if on cue, Jake looked away from her, his eyes scanning over the area until they landed on you. He gave you that warm, familiar Jake smile and your nerves seem to ease at the look.

You held Jake’s eyes for a few seconds before looking back to his twin. “Deep down I know that, Josh…But there’s some insecurities buried in here.” You pointed to the center of your chest. “I trust Jake, I do. With my heart, my mind, my body. I trust him with everything.” You took a composing breath, “But why does she have to blatantly flirt with him, like shamelessly. As if I’m not even here.” You chugged the rest of your drink, placing the can on the cement, outside of the pool.

Josh leaned back, popping open the cooler to grab you another can. “Maybe she doesn’t see anything wrong with it… I mean, considering everything…” He cracked the tab to open it, handing it you.

“What do you mean?” You could feel the slight gape to your mouth as you stared at him. “What do you know, Josh?” You took the can from him, raising your eyebrows as you awaited an answer.

You could’ve sworn his grin grew three sizes bigger. “Probably a lot more than you’d like me to know.” He brought his index and middle fingers to his mouth, flicking his tongue between the two digits and forcing his eyes to roll back in his head. He shook with laughter at your shocked expression.

“Eat shit, Josh!” You splashed a heavy gush of water at him while he continued laughing, shielding his face. Of course Jake told him. They tell each other everything. You knew Josh wasn’t judging you, but you wished you would’ve known that he was clued in on your recent escapades. Did Jake tell Danny and Sam too? Did Odessa know? Your voice took on a solemn tone, “I think I fucked up, Josh…”

Before you could elaborate, Jake called out to everyone, “Foods all done, guys! Come eat.” Danny rushed out of the pool, dragging Odessa with him. Sam was already piling things onto his plate and Sage was standing back, her eyes never leaving Jake as he moved around the table, making a plate. “Baby, come eat. I got you a little of everything.” He looked at you and pointed to the plate in his hand.

Josh pulled his legs out of the water, standing up. “Come on, sweetheart.” He offered you his hands. You wrapped your hands around his wrists and he mimicked the gesture, hauling you up and out of the water. “Let’s grub, we’ll talk in a bit.” He gave you a soft smile before walking towards the covered patio.

You grabbed your drink and followed Josh’s path, ducking into the shaded area. Jake was at your side with a clean towel. “Here, my love.” He gave you a minute to pat your skin dry before ushering you into a seat, sliding into the chair next to you at the head of the table. Josh made his way to the seat on the other side of Jake, but Sage beat him to it, placing her almost empty plate on the table in front of the chair. Her fingertips grazed Jake’s arm that rested on the table as she sat down. You stabbed at a piece of pasta salad on your plate, not feeling very hungry anymore, and dropped the fork to down some of your white claw. Your boyfriend picked up on the shift in your body language and his hand found yours under the table. “Please eat, baby.”

Sammy took the open seat next to you. Josh shuffled into the seat across from him, beside Sage, mumbling something under his breath. Danny sat at the opposite end of the table from Jake, Odessa perched on his lap taking a large bite from her hot dog. You couldn’t help the smile that formed as you looked upon your small chosen family, giving Jake’s hand a light squeeze. His hand never left you while you ate. When you pulled your fingers from his, he let his hand rest on your leg. You shared conversation with everyone around the table for a while, catching Jake’s eyes every so often. The alcohol was flowing, and plates were emptying. You sat back in your chair, listening to Jake and Danny have an animated discussion across the table.

Sam nudged you with his elbow, gaining your attention, “Wanna shotgun a white claw?” He had a mischievous smirk on his face, one that you’d come to know very well over the years. You gave him an excited nod, tossing back the rest of whatever was in your current can. He pointed around the table, “You guys wanna shotgun with us?” Josh was the first to agree, followed by Odessa. You turned to Jake, waiting for him to give in. His lip curled slowly before he nodded at you. Sam didn’t give Danny a choice as he forced a can into his hand. “Sage?” He held a can out to her and you turned to look at her as she took it from him.

You all moved to stand in a huddle beside the pool, passing a knife around to pop holes in the cans. Once everyone had their can ready, you spoke, “Last one to finish takes a shot of tequila.” A grin spread over your cheeks, “First one to finish takes two. GO!” Everyone rushed to crack their cans open and chug the liquid. You locked eyes with Josh, knowing he’d finish first, as usual. And he did, but you were right behind him, only dropping your can a second after him. Jake finished after you, his chest rising and falling as he caught his breath. You looked up at Sam, waiting until he pulled the can away from his mouth and shoved him backwards, his arms flailing as he crashed into the water. Odessa sputtered out a laugh, spewing liquid from her mouth. Sam emerged, his hair clinging to his face as he blew water from his lips. Gasping through your own laughter, you turned just in time to see Jake tossing his shirt behind him and rushing you, an evil grin plastered on his face. “No… Jake, wait. Don’t-“ Your pleas were interrupted by Jake lifting you in a swift movement, effectively tackling you so that you were both plunging beneath the surface.

He came up before you, tugging your arm to pull you up with him. You brought your legs around his waist, forcing him to hold you while he pushed your soaked hair from your forehead. “I’m sorry, love. I couldn’t resist.” The water was at chest level on Jake. He locked one arm around your back as you cling to him and turned around to face everyone else, “You guys gonna get in?”

Danny took the opportunity to pick Odessa up, her petite frame fighting against his grasp in a fit of giggles, and effortlessly tossed her in, diving in right behind her. Sage shrugged and walked over to the steps to let herself in. You looked up at Josh as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. “Hey Josh.” He dropped his eyes to you. “Can you go get in the shed and grab my hot dog floatie?” You pouted your lip at him.

“You don’t gotta give me the puppy dog stare, sweetheart.” He shook his head, jogging to the small shed at the end of the pool. He returned with your float and tossed it in the water with a couple other ones he’d grabbed.

You broke away from Jake to climb up onto the hot dog, straddling it. “Thank you, Joshy!” He offered a sweet smile in return.

Sam, being himself, couldn’t stop the lewd remark that flowed from his mouth with a smirk, “Since you’re climbing on wieners today, can I be next Y/N?” You stared at him, eyes wide and mouth agape. Sage cackled behind you. Jake jumped in before you could respond, lunging at his little brother and dunking his head under the water. Sam came back up, pushing his brother in the chest as they began to wrestle, splashing you in the process.

They bumped into the float, toppling you over. The unexpected impact sent a flood of water down your throat. You came back up, choking and reaching for something to hold onto. Jake caught you, dragging your body against his. “Fuck, baby. I’m sorry.” Your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders as you coughed the water from your lungs. His hands found your kicking legs under the surface and guided them around his hips. “Are you okay?”

Your throat was on fire and all you could muster was a weak nod as your chest heaved. You turned your head to Sam, an apologetic tilt to his mouth, “You’re fucking in for it.” Your voice was a raspy whisper as you narrowed your eyes at him.

“What about him? It wasn’t just my fault!” Sam was defensive at your threat. “You play favorites…” He crossed his arms over his chest like a defiant child, complete with a pouty lip.

“He didn’t make the inappropriate comment, Samuel.” You cocked your eyebrow at him, lips pursed. “Besides, he’ll get his payback in private.”

Jake’s hands gripped your ass under the water, “And I’ll enjoy every second of it…” He mumbled for only you to hear, dropping his head to kiss the fading bite mark on your shoulder. You shivered at the contact. Your thighs instinctively tightened around him and you could feel the soft bulge in swim trunks, pressing against your covered pussy. You knew he could feel it too by the way his fingers dug further into the cushion of your ass cheeks. You shifted in his arms, using his shoulders for leverage, and dropped your hips lower, subtly grinding into him with the movement. “Don’t start, love.” His voice was barely a whisper. You wanted to do it again, but you were distracted by Odessa’s voice.

Looking in her direction, you found her sitting on Danny’s shoulders. “Guys, let's play chicken!” Her balance faltered and she grasped Danny’s face to keep from falling off of him, a crackling laugh leaving her throat.

“Ooooh lover, c’mon!” You broke away from him, standing on your own feet. “Get me up on your shoulders!” He gave you a playful smirk before dipping beneath the water. You felt his shoulders hit the back of your thighs as he began lifting you, his head snug between your legs. When he emerged, you looked down to see him facing the wrong way. His nose was practically brushing over your clit through your bikini bottoms, his hot breath fanning over you. Your hands shot to his hair out of habit as you giggled. “Jake!”

“I don’t think that's how you play the game, brother.” Josh was standing behind Jake, a tequila fed grin on his face. “At least not this game.” He clapped Jake on the back, causing him to stumble, dropping you back into the water.

You kicked over to Josh, latching yourself to his back as you looked at Jake, “How about you be my partner, Joshy? We can take down Danny and Dess.”

“Oh no way! You’re going down, babe!” Odessa challenged, pointing her finger at you.

Josh shook his head, “I don’t think I’m the best option here, mama.” He looked at you over his shoulder, “I’ve had a few too many.” He raised his drink to his mouth, taking a few gulps.

Jake laughed, “Come back to where you belong, baby.” He held his hand out to you, a cocky expression gracing his features. “You know where your place is, love.”

You gave him a sweet smile as you let go of Josh. Slipping your hand into his, he dipped down and had you on his shoulders again in seconds. He interlocked his finger with yours to keep you balanced as your legs hooked under his arms.

Danny called over to his best friend, “Sam, let Sage on your shoulders, you two are a good match”

You looked over to Sam who gave a shrug, turning to Sage. Her eyes flashed to you, or rather Jake beneath you, before she waded her way towards Sam. “Do you think you can handle me, Sammy?” Her flirty tone caught you off guard. She placed her hand on his shoulder, “Don’t get too handsy.” She leaned in close to him to speak, pushing him gently under the water. Sam took the hint, dunking below the surface to bring her up on his shoulders. When he rose out of the water, Sage perched atop of him, she gave a satisfied hum. “I’d say this is a perfect fit, wouldn’t you?” The question was directed at Sammy, but her eyes stayed on Jake as she twirled Sam’s wet hair between her fingers. What the fuck is this? Is she trying to make him jealous?

Josh caught your eyes, giving you a look of confusion. Sam’s cheeks had a light pink tint to them, “Uhhh yeah… Perfect.” His hands gripped her legs to hold her in place. “Who’s first?”

“If I recall, Dess, you said I’m going down?” You wiggled your finger, gesturing for her and Danny to move closer. “You ready to eat your words?” Jake stepped forward until he and Danny were a mere foot apart. Josh stood to the side, deciding to play referee as he rattled off a ridiculous set of rules.

Odessa gave you a challenging glare, spiked with amusement. “Bring it on, babe…” When Josh brought his hand down between the two boys, you and Odessa were going at each other, shoving and grabbing. She put up a good fight as the both of you struggled to keep steady through your cackling. You caught her with a particularly good push, knocking Danny off balance and sending her flying into water behind him. She let out a loud squeal as she went down, dragging her boyfriend with her.

“Hell yeah, baby!” Jake cheered, holding his hand up for a high five. You slapped his palm, feeling a rush of excitement. Odessa came up out of the water, gasping out her loud laugh that you adored. She gave you a thumbs up and climbed onto Danny’s back before offering Sage a ‘good luck’ as Sammy took his place in front of his brother. “You got this, Y/N. Light work.” Jake pressed his lips to the inside of your leg as he eyed his brother with a smirk.

You looked at Sage, a smile plastered on your face, “You ready, Sage?” She met your gaze, chewing on her cheek, and gave a nod as a sinister smile crept over her features. Your smile faltered for a moment before Josh was dropping his hand, initiating the battle. Sam moved forward, allowing Sage to reach for you. You ducked away from her first push and pressed your hands into her shoulders but she locked her legs tightly under Sam’s arms, staying in place. Jake worked in tune with your movements, knowing just when to step forward and when to pull you back. Just when you got a hold of Sage’s arm and gained enough leverage to push her again, her hand shot out and grabbed your hair, yanking hard and ripping you from Jake’s shoulders. Your scalp was stinging as you plummeted into the cool water.

When you came back up for a breath, Odessa was scolding Sage. “Girl, that was cheap! You cheated!”

You rubbed your hand over the sore spot on your head as Sage countered Odessa’s claim. “It was an accident!” She held her hands up, giving a half shrug. “My hand got tangled when I tried to push her, I swear.”

“It’s okay, guys! She won the game…” You don’t know what came over you when the next words slipped from your mouth with an unexpected venom, “But I still got the prize.” You cupped Jake’s face, pulling him in for a rough kiss, ending it with a soft bite to his bottom lip. Everyone gawked in silence as you turned back to Sage, now back in the water and off of Sam’s shoulders, and pursed your lips with a cocky tilt.

____________________________________________________

The day dwindled down, along with the alcohol. You and Sage had kept your distance from one another and everybody took notice. The sun was starting to set and taking the heat with it, leaving you with a chill on your skin. “Baby, I’m gonna go change, can you start a fire in the pit?” You asked Jake as you stood from his lap.

He grabbed your hand, brushing his lips over your knuckles before you walked away, “Of course, my love.” He had a slight slur to his words, having fallen victim to multiple beer pong losses against his brothers.

“Y/N, please tell me you have a change of clothes I can steal?” Odessa peeled herself from Danny’s side and followed you into the house.

Giving her a warm smile, you nodded. “I got you, Dess. But first…” You stopped in the kitchen, pulling a bottle of wine from the rack on the wall, “I’m sick of the seltzer, you want a glass?” She answered with an enthusiastic nod and you pulled two glasses from the cabinet, filling them with the red wine. “Here you go, babe.” You passed her a glass before leaving the kitchen to go to your bedroom. Once in the room, you padded to your dresser. “You want sweatpants or shorts?”

Odessa closed the door behind her and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “Sweatpants, please. It’s getting chilly.” You opened the drawer that held your sweats and tossed her a pair of plain gray ones. She let them land on the bed as she sipped her glass. “Hey, can we talk?” She watched you with a cautious look on her face, like you were an animal that she didn’t want to scare away.

You peeled your bikini top off and replaced it with an old, oversized hoodie that hung to your thighs. “Ummm. Yeah… Is everything okay?” You’d be lying if you said her tone didn’t make you nervous. You pulled a sweatshirt out for her, waiting for a response.

She took the shirt from you, placing her glass on Jake’s nightstand. “What is going on with you and Sage?”

You slid your bottoms down your legs, opting to play dumb, “What do you mean?” You dropped your eyes to the floor as you pulled on a pair of clean underwear. “Nothing is going on?”

Odessa cocked her eyebrow at you, knowing you were full of shit. “It’s clearly something…” She pulled the sweatpants on over her swimsuit bottoms, “There’s been nothing but hostility between you two all day, Y/N.” She unclasped her top and let it fall to the floor to put the sweatshirt on. “I thought you guys got along well. If you didn’t like her, you should’ve told me… I wouldn’t have invited her to come today.” Her expression was almost sad and you broke, spilling everything to her.

“No, Dess. That’s not it.” You started picking at your cuticles. “I do like Sage. Or I did. I don’t know… It’s complicated.” Sitting on the edge of the bed to avoid pacing the room, you pulled her down to sit beside you. You took a hefty gulp of your wine and gave her all the dirty details. “I liked her too much, I think. Me and Jake, we… Well, the three of us, we sort of had a-” You raked your hands through your hair, taking a composing breath. “We had a threesome, well, we kind of did it twice. But the second time, I don’t know, Dess… She was acting differently, almost like she just wanted Jake to herself. The way she would just stare at him, it didn’t sit right with me… She cuddled up to him, draped her body over him. It was weird.” Taking another drink, Odessa gave you a nod, waiting for you to continue. “And then today, I was caught off guard when she showed up. I hadn’t talked to her since that night and it felt a little awkward to be in the same room as her, but it was fine. Then she stood out there, blatantly flirting with Jake, touching him, laughing too hard at his jokes. Oh GOD and the longing stares?. It made me so fucking mad. Like she just didn’t give a fuck that I was even there. She was so shameless about it. And after that stunt she pulled playing chicken… Ugh, I just couldn’t take it anymore. It was like I needed to mark Jake as my territory so she would get the hint, yanno? And that’s not the kind of person I am, you know that. Me and Jake have never had to hang all over one another to feel secure in our relationship.” You finished your rant and Odessa took a minute to soak it all in.

Her brows knitted as a troubled expression crossed her face. “You should be careful with her, Y/N.” She didn’t elaborate and your anxiety bloomed in your chest.

“Be careful with her? What does that mean, Odessa?” Your tone was becoming frantic as she stayed quiet. “Dess, what the hell? I let her fuck my boyfriend! It’s a little too late to be careful now?!”

“Okay, just relax.” She put her hand on your arm in a soothing manner, “I just-” She broke off, searching for the right wording. “Alright, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this… She’s my best friend, but I love you and Jake and it would absolutely destroy me if something came between the two of you because of somebody I brought into your circle.” She took a breath and picked up her wine, emptying the glass with a few swallows. “She’s kind of developing a pattern of this… She sets her sights on someone she wants and spirals from there. Her ex left her because of a situation she got into.”

You cut her off, “Sage told me that her ex girlfriend was manipulative and abusive and that’s why she was the one that left.” The confusion on your face was only mimicked by Odessa.

She shook her head, “Ex girlfriend? No, her ex was a man… He was actually a really sweet guy, gave her everything she could ask for. But it still wasn’t enough.” The looming feeling in your chest began to grow as she went on, “Her ex had a friend, Sage was attracted to him, but she was clearly in a relationship and the friend had a girlfriend. She came up with the idea that they should try ‘swinging’?” Odessa brought her fingers up in air quotes. “So Sage essentially manipulates her ex into proposing the idea himself so it wasn’t obvious that she just wanted to sleep with his friend. But it happened and then Sage continued to sleep with the friend, sneaking around, lying to her ex. Well, him and the girlfriend eventually caught on to what was happening.”

You were sure you looked like a deer in headlights the way your eyes were bugging from your head. “Please tell me you’re lying…” You searched her face for any indication that she might just be messing with you.

She chewed on her lower lip, “I wish I was… Her ex left her and his friend didn’t want anything to do with her anymore, he wanted to fix the relationship he’d ruined. Sage was a mess for a bit, but then she just continued on, hooking up with random people, like nothing ever happened.”

You felt sick to your stomach, “Dess, she told me she never slept with a man before. I fell right into her fucking trap, didn’t I?” Now you were pacing the room, “She knew exactly what to fucking say to me.. Knew exactly how get what she wanted and I just fucking handed it to her on a god damn silver platter!”

Odessa gripped your shoulders, halting your movements. “Hey, Just cut it off now, Y/N. Jake is yours and she’ll never take him away from you.” You took a deep breath, letting her words soothe you. You were angry at yourself for letting her manipulate you into giving her just what she wanted from you. Jake. Your Jake. “You have the power here, just put an end to it, babe.”

She pulled you into a comforting hug as a knock sounded on the door, Danny’s voice calling from the other side. “Odessa? Are you guys coming back out? We got a good fire going.” She pulled away from you and asked if you were okay to go back out and join everyone. You gave a soft ‘yeah’ and she hooked her arm around yours, moving to open the door and greet her boyfriend. “Finally…” Danny threw his hands in the air, “Josh is singing preschool campfire songs, Jake is so drunk that Oliver Reed decided to make an appearance and Sage and Sam are flirting like awkward, prepubescent teenagers. Shit’s weird.” Odessa broke away from you, wrapping her arms around Danny’s waist as they walked down the hallway.

“Oh, Jake is gonna be a blast to try and get into bed tonight…” You chuckled through your sarcasm. You went into the living room to grab the blanket from the couch, then into the kitchen to refill your wine. When you stepped out onto the patio, Jake’s eyes immediately landed on you and he yelled your name in the thick, british accent. A smile tugged at your lips as you made your way to him, sitting in front of the fire on a cushioned wicker chair. “You feeling pretty good, Jakey?” You sunk onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He rested one of his hands on your legs that hung over his own and used the other to hold your back. “I feel fucking fantastic.” His eyes were glossy and hooded, telling you just how much he’d had to drink. You brushed his hair from his face before scanning over everyone else. Danny and Odessa sat tucked together on the wicker loveseat. Your eyes shot to Sam, hearing him let out a chuckle. Sage was draped over him on the chair he sat in, leaned in close as she whispered something in his ear. You watched as her lips brushed his neck, Sammy’s eyes fluttering at the contact. Feeling like an intruding presence, you quickly looked away, finding Josh. He was in the grass in front of the firepit, singing just as Danny had described.

You kissed Jake’s lips softly and slid off of him so go sit by Josh in the grass. You pulled the blanket around your shoulders and offered half to him. He took the opposite corner and tucked it around himself, scooting in closer to you. You laid your head on his shoulder, listening to him croon an acapella rendition of Stand By Me by Ben E. King. The heat of the flames warmed your face, leaving you relaxed and content as you sipped your wine. Closing your eyes, you hummed along with Josh, tuning out all the other sounds around you. When the song was finished, Josh nudged you, “You okay, mama?”

You lifted your head to look at him, “Yeah, why do you ask?”

His gaze flicked to Sam and Sage before he turned his attention back to the fire. “There was a lot of tension here for a while earlier…And I said we’d talk later” He picked up the bottle of water from the ground beside him, taking a slow drink. You watched as he wiped a drop from the corner of his mouth, realizing that he was almost completely sober. “I just wanna make sure you know that you have nothing to worry about when it comes to him. To your trust in him.” He gave your knee a pat the way your father would after a lecture and you smiled up at him as he continued. “Jake doesn’t have eyes for anybody but you, Y/N. Nothing will change that.”

You believed Josh. But just because you trusted Jake, that didn’t mean you could trust Sage. Your mind went back to what Odessa had shared with you and you let it all loose on Josh, giving him the full rundown. “And that’s where I fucked up, Josh.” You pulled at the blades of grass, shaking your head. “I gave her exactly what she wanted. Fuck. I’m so stupid.” You palmed your forehead, “There were so many red flags. So many gut feelings that I ignored. She fucking played me.”

Josh grabbed your hand, “You’re not stupid, sweetheart. You just always fight to see the best in people.” He bumped you with his shoulder, “You can’t beat yourself up for that.”

You laid your head on Josh’s shoulder again, his words filling you with a sense of comfort. You let your eyes wander over to Jake, but you only found his empty chair. Picking your head up, you looked around insearch of your boyfriend. When you looked at Sam, Sage was no longer in his lap and you felt the panic bubbling in your chest. “Where’s Jake?” Your voice came out a whisper and Josh looked up, his eyes searching as you had just done. You asked the question again, louder this time, “Where did Jake go?”

Danny spoke up, “I’m not sure, he got up and mumbled something and then went into the house.” He saw your face and drew his brows together, “What’s wrong?”

Your head whipped to Sammy as you threw the blanket from your body, stumbling as you stood up, “Where is she?” He gave you a puzzled look as though you were speaking in tongues. “Where the fuck is she, Sam?” You were half yelling now, causing Sam to jump a little.

He raised his hands in defense, “She said she had to use the bathroom, what’s your deal?” He was staring at you like you were crazy.

You turned to Odessa, giving her a look that only she could decipher and stalked through the yard to the house. Odessa was hot on your trail, scared at what you two might find when you got inside. When you crossed the threshold into the kitchen, your anger dissipated, replaced by a shooting pain in your chest. “Jake…” His name fell from your mouth in gasp. His eyes shot open, locking with yours, a look of shock mixed with confusion on his face.

Jake POV

You watched as she hummed along to the song your twin was singing. She looked heavenly with the glow of the flames dancing over her. How did you get so lucky? Your vision blurred slightly as you looked at her. You shouldn’t have drank that much… “I’m gonna get some water.” You mumbled to Danny, but you weren’t sure he heard you as he didn’t respond. Stumbling your way into the kitchen, you used the countertop to guide yourself to the fridge. The dark room illuminated a bit as you opened the refrigerator. Squinting through the too bright light, you dug around the shelves in search of a bottle of water. When you finally found one, you pulled it out, slamming the door shut and cracking the bottle open. You brought it to your lips, chugging it down. Suddenly a pair of hands were wrapping around you from behind, caressing your chest. It was her favorite way to hold you. You leaned into her touch, noticing that her scent didn’t feel as familiar as it should have. Chalking it up to the alcohol dulling your senses and the chlorine on her skin from the pool, you ignored it. All you could focus on was her hands traveling down your body, dipping below the waistband of your swim trunks, and her lips on your neck. You gripped the edge of the island counter as she began to stroke your hardening dick. The way her hand moved on you felt wrong, like she forgot how you liked to be touched. But you couldn’t bring yourself to stop her. To tell her that you weren’t enjoying it the way you wanted to. You didn’t want to hurt her feelings. That was the last thing you wanted. You loved her. She was yours. So soft and sweet. So beautiful, with the kindest heart. She always wanted to put you first, make sure you were taken care of. And so you let her. You allowed yourself to sink into her hold, letting your eyes fall shut. But then her voice came, barely a whisper. Your name slipping from her tongue, not behind you, but from the opposite side of the room. Your eyes snapped open, landing on her. For a moment, your brain couldn’t register the situation. If she was holding you… Then how was she over there? You stared at her, watching the tears form in her eyes, a look of betrayal on her face. And then it clicked…No.

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#jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka #greta van fleet #sammy kiszka #danny wagner #jake kiszka smut #josh kiszka #gvf fic #jake gvf #gvf #hands to yourself #sinsofstardust

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pink-sparkly-witch · 1 year

Text

The Widow - Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Summary: Sam and Y/N are happily married, but everything changes after a fatal car accident leaves her a widow. The Winchester motto: "Family Don't End with Blood," takes on a whole new meaning for Y/N as she navigates her new normal with the help of her brother-in-law, Dean. But what no one can tell her, is what happens when she falls in love again?

Pairing: Sam Winchester x F!Reader (past) | Dean Winchester x F!Reader (eventual)

Warnings: fluff, first date, kissing, angst, tears, language

Words: 3,236

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The leaves are starting to change colour now, you notice as you walk through the park on your way to have lunch with Dean. The year has seemed to have gone by in the blink of an eye, and it surprises you to think it’s been so long since Sam died. Christmas, Sam’s birthday and your wedding anniversary were tough days, but you got through them. The next big hurdle will be the anniversary of his death, but you’ll handle that as you’d handled everything so far, taking it a day at a time – or hour at a time, if you needed to.

Thursday has quickly become your favourite day. Dean insisted on these weekly lunches to check in and keep an eye on you. At first, you hated them, assuming he felt some kind of obligation to look after you, or because he didn’t think you could look after yourself. When the grief had lessened and you began to feel more like yourself again, you realised how wrong you were.

Yeah, he asked how you were doing and if you were taking care of yourself, but then the conversation would quickly become about work and how your week had been, and he had a genuine interest in you and your life. Whenever you smiled, his face would light up like a Christmas tree, and when you laughed (particularly if he’d been the one to make you do it), he would grin so wide you feared his cheeks would hurt.

In turn, you became somewhat of a confidante for Dean too. He’d opened up to you about his plans for the family business when John finally decided to hang his coveralls up. He wanted to expand and open another shop across town. He wanted to take in troubled kids and train them on how to be mechanics. He has such a big heart, and it didn’t surprise you that he wants to save kids from taking the wrong path. What was more of a shock, was Dean asking you to help him make it happen. Before you’d even opened your mouth to protest, he cut you off with a firm voice: “I know what you’re going to say, and it’s bull. You’re a part of this family, Y/N. Maybe not by blood, but you are a Winchester. Besides, family don’t end with blood, or even a name, sweetheart.”

It was then you knew the weekly lunches weren’t just to look after “Sammy’s girl” and Dean genuinely did care for you and considered you his family. It was humbling, and it helped you to heal because you’d been worried John and Dean would lose patience with you and eventually stop checking in or inviting you to Sunday dinner. The fact that Dean asked you to join the family business to oversee the expansion, even though you’d yet to give him an answer, meant the world to you.

The Impala is already in the car park when you arrive at the Roadhouse and as you pass her, you ghost your fingers over her hood in a wordless greeting before heading into the restaurant. Walking into the building, you smirk as you see Jo twirling her hair around her fingers and giggling at Dean who has a patient smile on his face, but his bouncing knee gives away how uncomfortable he is with the unwanted flirtation.

“Hey, Jo!” You smile at the blonde, and see Dean’s shoulders drop as he visibly exhales at your timely arrival. “How are you?”

“Good, thanks! Can I get you your usual drink?” The waitress asks.

“Please,” you answer as you slide into the seat across from Dean.

“Oh, and Gordon’s special today is chicken parm,” Jo grins at you, knowing it’s your favourite.

“You know me too well!” You laugh.

“Dean?” The blonde bats her lashes at him.

“A bacon cheeseburger with extra fries. She always steals mine,” he points at you with a smirk and you chuckle softly.

“Alright, I’ll go get those drinks and put your order through. If you need anything else, just shout,” with one last flip of her hair, Jo sashays away with an exaggerated sway of her hips.

“Are you ever going to tell her you’re not interested?” You smirk at Dean as he scratches the back of his neck.

“What? She’s not interested in me,” Dean protests and you laugh loudly.

“Oh, come on! It is so obvious she’s into you! And here I thought you were Lawrence’s answer to Casanova!” you cackle.

“Yeah, well… people change,” Dean defends weakly. “I haven’t done any of that since the night Sam died, you know that.”

“Still?” You try so hard not to show your shock, but according to Dean’s bitch face, you fail miserably. “I’m sorry, that was rude. And absolutely none of my business,” you backtrack, and relax as you see Dean’s jaw unclench and his shoulders lower.

“It’s just…” he trails off and takes a deep breath. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just… the last time I went home with someone from a bar, my brother was killed.”

“I get it, Dean. You don’t need to explain to me,” you smile softly, and the conversation dies away as Jo sets down your drinks.

“So, what about you?” Dean asks almost shyly once Jo has left again.

“What about me?” You frown, before taking a sip of your beverage.

“The guy from work that keeps flirting with you. Have you asked him out yet?”

“Okay, first of all, he’s not flirting with me, he knows that I lost my husband and he's just being friendly…”

“Ha!” Dean scoffs, “friendly my ass! He wants to see your ass, if you know what I mean!” He pumps his eyebrows lewdly at you.

“Second,” you say ignoring him completely, “even if he was flirting with me, I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship yet.”

“Who said anything about a relationship? I said ask the guy out,” Dean says softly. “Dress up, have a night out on the town, have a little fun. No one’s saying you need to marry the guy.”

“I just don’t think it’s the right time. And I don’t even know if it’s something I want again,” you admit.

“What? Y/N, come on sweetheart. You can’t seriously think you’re never gonna fall in love again, do you?” Dean doesn’t even glance at Jo as she puts his plate in front of him, he just stares at you in disbelief.

“All I know right now is that I’m still in love with Sam,” you shrug and twirl spaghetti around your fork.

“And you always will be. Whether we’re talking next week, next year, or next decade, you will always love him. But it doesn’t mean you won’t fall in love with someone else at some point. Look, I’m not trying to force you into anything you don’t wanna do, alright? I just thought it might be nice for you to be wined and dined by someone other than me for a change!” He winked at you and bit into his burger, humming in approval at the taste.

“Oh, so you’re fed up with me, is that it?” You smirk. “Trying to palm me off, make me someone else’s problem?”

“Never,” Dean reassures you, even though he knows you’re messing with him. “I just don’t want to be sitting here with you in ten years and you regret not taking a second chance at love, a family… a happy life. You have a big and pure heart, and it holds too much love for you not to share it.”

You smile at his compliment and ponder over what Dean said, both of you falling silent and enjoying your meal.

Dean’s words had no real effect on you until a few weeks later when you went for birthday drinks for someone in the office. That’s when you noticed that Jacob was indeed flirting with you.

You don’t know if it was flattery or the wine or even the two tequila shots you’d had when you first got to the bar, but here you are a week later, on a date you aren’t completely convinced you want to be on with the first guy who’s shown you that kind of attention since Sam.

Jacob is a nice guy. He’s handsome, charming, caring, and funny. He’s doing all the right things; things Sam would’ve done on a date like holding doors open for you, and pulling your chair out for you at the restaurant. He even stood from the table when you went to the restroom.

He’s made you laugh and listened intently to what you said, and his subtle flirtations have made you feel like a woman again. You’ve felt desirable and pretty and it’s felt so good to feel those things again. You feel good.

He’s even been considerate enough to ask a few times how you’re holding up with this being your first date since Sam had died. He hasn’t put a foot wrong, and you know this is what most people would call the perfect date with the perfect guy, but something’s missing and you can’t quite figure out what.

And that’s what’s led you to be standing with him at your front door. You know for sure you aren’t going to invite him into your home, but you also felt like you needed the extra time to try and figure out exactly how you feel about him. You’re both running out of reasons to stay out in the chill of the night, and you know figuring out what’s going on will need to wait.

“I had a nice time, Jacob,” you smile as you play with the keys in your hand. “Thank you for being so kind and patient with me.”

“I think it’s me who should be thanking you for letting me take you out tonight. I can’t imagine how difficult this must’ve been for you,” Jacob smiles softly and tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear as he takes a step closer. “I know this might be too soon, but I have to ask. Can I kiss you?”

You stare at him for a moment, not sure what to say. A million things are running through your mind all at once, and it’s hard to pick out just one to focus on. Suddenly, your mind clears and all you can think about is how much fun you’ve had tonight. And it’s just a kiss, right? And with a handsome man no less. So, you nod your head, making Jacob smile wide, showing perfect teeth before quickly swiping his tongue over his lips and leaning towards you.

He’s respectful, only gently placing his hands on your waist as his lips touch yours and it’s… different. It’s not awful by any means, just strange. His lips are a little dry and chapped, despite his efforts to soften them with his tongue, and his hands seem to be too hesitant on your hips. When his tongue swipes at your lips, you open your mouth inviting him in. Almost immediately, your eyes fly open and you realise you feel absolutely nothing, and that maybe you’re not ready for this after all.

Or maybe, you panic, whatever part of you that can love had left when Sam did.

You pull away and try to remain calm. The last thing you need is to freak the guy out, or freak yourself out even more. It’s been months since you last had a panic attack and now is not the time or place.

“I should go,” you manage to smile at him. “It’s late and cold, but I really did have a lovely night.” You have no idea how you say it without your voice shaking or tears filling your eyes, but you do and you’ll take that small victory right now.

“Me too. Maybe we could do this again soon?” He asks and your heart twists at the hopefulness in his voice, and you can’t bring yourself to tell him it isn’t a good idea.

“Maybe,” you smile. “Goodnight.” You turn and quickly unlock the door, smiling at him one last time as you turn to close it behind you.

Flicking the lights on, you make your way to the kitchen, open the fridge and pull a bottle of cold water out. Ripping the plastic cap off you take a few large gulps, hoping the coolness will help calm down your racing heart.

You use the breathing techniques all those meditation classes taught you, but still, you feel your heart try to thump its way out of your chest. Quickly, you grab your keys and subtly look out of the window to check Jacob’s car is gone.

Seeing the road empty, you leave the house making sure the door is locked behind you, and get in your car with only one destination in mind.

Dean.

“Wow! Don’t you look beautiful,” Dean grins as he opens the door, but it soon fades and he clenches his jaw in anger as the tears finally spill from your eyes. “What did he do? I’ll kill him!” He fumes and you shake your head and push him back into the house, following behind him.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on, sweetheart, or do I have to hunt the bastard down?” Dean asks once your tears have stopped, taking a seat on his couch and tapping the space next to him for you to join him.

“It wasn’t him… well it was, but it’s not what you think,” you say quickly as he shoots up from the couch and grabs his car keys. “Dean, please, just listen.”

“Alright,” he relents and sits on the edge of the sofa once more, his knee starting to bounce.

“The date was fine, he was the perfect gentleman,” you begin, and Dean frowns at you.

“I don’t understand. Then why are you crying?” he asks, and you laugh when you realise just how ridiculous this all is.

“I don’t know! I shouldn’t be! He’s handsome, and funny, and kind! You know he asked me if I was doing okay several times because he knew it was my first date since Sam? He did everything right. It was the perfect date.”

“You’re not making any sense, Y/N. If it was so perfect, why are you so upset?”

“Because he kissed me!” you yell frustrated. “He kissed me and it should’ve felt right, I should’ve felt something, but it just felt… I just felt numb,” you finally admit. “What if I’m broken? What if I was only ever meant to be with Sam?”

“Y/N…” Dean trails off, and you know he’s trying to think of something that will comfort you.

“I should’ve felt something, right? Like even if it was like a flutter in my stomach or my heart hammering, right? Or even just disinterest,” you don’t know if you’re asking or begging at this point.

“You really felt nothing?” Dean’s tone is sincere, holding none of the judgement you thought it would.

“Not a single thing,” you confirm and he raises his eyebrows as he thinks over what you’ve told him. “I’m broken, aren’t I?”

“No, sweetheart, you’re not broken. If it’s not there, it’s not there. Perfect date or not, you can’t force yourself to feel what you don’t feel,” he consoles you, and deep down you know he’s right.

“But how do I know for sure?” It slips out before you can stop it, “what if the same thing happens on the next date? And the next one, and the one after that.”

“Hey,” Dean stands up from the sofa and takes your hands in his. “Look at me. That’s my girl,” he whispers when you look up at him. “That won’t happen. The only reason it happened tonight is that, although Jacob may be perfect, he’s not perfect for you, alright?”

You know what he’s saying is right, and as his words sink in, you feel foolish that you drove across town at eleven on a Friday night to freak out over a meaningless kiss. Huffing a defeated sigh and standing up, you grab your keys to leave.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry for barging in so late with more drama. I’ll let you get back to your night,” you smile flatly and turn to the door.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, sweetheart,” Dean says as he gently grabs your wrist to stop you from leaving.

“It’s fine, Dean. I’m fine. I just want to go home,” you shrug him off.

“And do what? Sit there alone and overthink this?”

“Overthink it? Dean, it was a kiss with a guy I’m clearly not attracted to. You said so yourself,” you argue.

“It’s not about the kiss though, is it? Not really. It’s about more than that. It’s about you thinking your ability to love died with Sam.”

“Dean, don’t–” you insist, not wanting to hear it, but he’s quick to cut you off.

“Don’t what, Y/N? Don’t tell you the truth? Don’t try to make you see there’s nothing wrong with you. That you’re perfect, and Jacob just isn’t worthy of having you. That you’re beautiful and smart, and one day you will find the person who’s right for you.”

“Dean…” you say, but you don’t know how to follow it up, and so you shut up and stare at the floor.

“Do you trust me?” he questions.

“Yes.” There’s no hesitation from you and when you tear your eyes from the floor to look at him, you see him smile softly at your admission.

“Okay. Right or wrong, good or bad, promise me we’ll talk about this,” he pleads with you.

“Talk about what?” you frown.

“What I’m about to do. Please Y/N, promise me,” he begs once more.

“Alright, I promise.”

Dean steps closer to you and cups your cheeks in his large, calloused hands before leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. His lips are surprisingly soft, and the scent of everything that’s just Dean surrounds you and dazes you.

And then you feel it.

The butterflies that swarm in your stomach; the haze that descends over you, cutting off all thought except for him and his lips on yours. Without warning, a whine escapes your throat and you open your mouth to encourage Dean to really kiss you, moaning when he does.

It’s good. And you feel like you did all those years ago when Sam kissed you for the first time. Lifting your arms, you circle them around Dean’s shoulders and pull him flush with your body and deepen the kiss.

His hands ghost down your back and snake around your waist. The kiss begins to soften and when his lips part from yours, he chuckles as you chase after them with your own.

“Not broken?” he asks, resting his forehead on yours.

“Definitely not broken,” you respond breathlessly.

“Told you,” Dean chuckles and presses his lips to yours again, much softer and more innocent this time. You aren’t sure who makes the move, but before you fully comprehend what’s going on, your lips are on his again and you’re pushing the flannel from his shoulders. Dean picks you up and encourages you to wrap your legs around his waist and carries you to the bedroom.

Next Chapter>>

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