#rambling about casual friendships/relationships in fiction
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Shout-out to the ships and character dynamics that AREN’T big, dramatic One-True-Pairings that have to be a ‘Big Deal’ and this huge defining aspects of the characters, yet are interesting in their own way. The fake-relationships that really are fake, the casual flings and one-night-stands that don’t become something more, the friendships that aren’t pre-romance or even some intensely close, emotionally intimate, platonic-life-partners or found-family thing.
Just as an example I’ve been thinking about lately; take your standard casanova/manwhore character who’s always having flings/sleeping around with lots of women and/or men who then has this incredible one-night-stand with someone that they just can’t stop thinking about afterwards. After so many casual hook-ups they have finally caught feelings for someone else. Basically your standard ‘Ladykiller in Love’ plot.
But, when this character starts spending time with this person they’re falling hard for and try to make their feelings known, it becomes clear that she/he/they simply doesn’t feel the same way. Sure, they like this character, perhaps think they’re fun to have around and even might enjoy having more occasional hook-ups with them. But they simply aren’t interested in some serious, committed, monogamous relationship with them, and it’s clear they never will be. More than that, this character also quickly learns that there are a fair few other people this person is MUCH closer with and perhaps even sleeps around with too in a full-on polyamorous sense.
Basically, this isn’t just ‘Ladykiller falls in love’. This is ‘Ladykiller falls in love with a Harem Protagonist and also realizes they aren’t even going to be that high-ranked in the harem’.
And I just think that’s rather interesting as a character dynamic. A relationship that isn’t just casual, but is outright predicated on BEING casual and is simply not capable of being more than that. One party might like it to be more than that, but the other pointedly DOESN’T. And it’s clear that any serious attempt by the former to make the relationship more than that would simply END the relationship.
Is this simply too much of an ask for the former party and they have to end things? Do they actually TRY to force it and destroy the relationship in the process? Or do they find that they’re actually alright with this arrangement?
For another, more specific example from a fandom, in this case The Owl House, of the ‘not EVERYONE has to be part of the adopted/found-family’ point; I’ve found more and more that I am simply not a fan of the whole ‘Hunter-is-a-Noceda/Luz-and-Hunter-are-adopted-siblings’ idea that much of the fandom gravitated towards.
Luz and Hunter are certainly close friends to be sure, I just feel that treating them as full-blown adopted siblings is a bit much. I feel like Luz’s friendship with Hunter is really more comparable to her friendships with Willow and Gus. Like they’re all super close ‘ride-or-die’ best friends, but we don’t exactly treat Willow and Gus as being Luz’s adopted siblings either.
And I think one big advantage of treating Luz and Hunter as a simple ‘close friendship’ is that it serves to better highlight the closer and more consequential relationships they have with OTHERS. In Hunter’s case, his own friendships with Willow and Gus.
I’ve already discussed this in other posts, but I feel that the fandom fixating so hard to Hunter’s friendship with Luz has kind of detracted from the fact that his friendship with Willow and Gus is both closer and more consequential to his character. Namely in that Hunter became friends with Willow and Gus BEFORE really becoming friends with Luz, and that is was his friendship with them which really served to break Hunter’s indoctrination to Belos. Note that despite the multiple encounters Hunter has with Luz over the course of Season 2, it’s pointedly not until Any Sport in a Storm where he befriends Willow and Gus, plus the rest of the Emerald Entrails, that Hunter really starts to seriously doubt Belos.
Likewise, it’s equally notable that after Hunter has his big breakdown following Hollow Mind, it’s NOT Luz but again Willow and especially Gus who end up helping him through his trauma in Labyrinth Runners. Speaking personally, this episode solidified Gus as an ‘adopted younger sibling’ to Hunter more than Luz ever would be.
Not to mention I feel like that’s a pretty cool twist that the show did here. Instead of the main heroine facilitating the resident edgy, traumatized bad boy’s redemption arc and become super-close besties in the process, it’s actually the heroine’s two best friends who get that role.
Plus, I’d argue not treating Luz and Hunter as siblings also better highlight’s Hunter’s relationship with his ACTUAL adopted father-figure, Darius.
And on the flipside, I’d argue this also likewise serves to better highlight Luz’s bond with her actual adopted siblings, King and Vee.
This is where I think the real value comes in recognizing and valuing more casual relationships/friendships between characters: It helps to vary and diversify the various dynamics between a group and show more unique connections rather than just lumping people into a ‘found family’ and calling it a day.
I mean, consider this: Luz’s and Hunter’s bonding during Thanks To Them over their respective doubts and trauma is specifically BECAUSE they aren’t as close with each other as they are with Amity and Willow/Gus respectively. Ie; both felt like they couldn’t talk about their problems to the people they were really close to, so they talked about them to someone they weren’t as close to. That’s a character dynamic that isn’t just between two characters who aren’t as close as they are with others, but one PREDICATED on these two not being as close as they are with others.
All in all, I think it’s really worth recognizing when certain character relationships and dynamics AREN’T these super close, intimate, ‘big-deal’ bonds, but are simply more low-key and casual than others. And that this doesn’t devalue what this relationship may represent but rather makes it interesting in its own way.
#rambling#rambling about character dynamics#toh#luz noceda#toh hunter#rambling about casual friendships/relationships in fiction
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okay more thoughts on pride and prejudice as i begin chapter 39
1 i want to see lady catherine, mrs. bennet, and miss bingley in the same room together on a podcast panel debating things like marriage and childrearing etc but i dont think the world would be able to handle it
2 i’m interpreting mr. darcy as either being neurodivergent (possibly autistic) and/or having severe social anxiety — and this is really informing my entire perspective of his character (as a core theme to his character is being socially understood/misunderstood). however, i know its still very controversial to “diagnose” fictional characters and i don’t want to come off that way — but historical complications aside (the field of psychology didn’t exist back then how it does now) it’s really obvious to see that he’s not neurotypical, although i don’t know if this is an accepted thing in the austen world though!
3 i’m not buying that mr. darcy’s letter was only 2 pages long. 3 pages minimum with tiny handwriting maybe.
4 this entire novel really highlights the importance of social communication more than anything imo
5 mr. collins is fucking hilarious and his interactions with elizabeth are so accurate/relatable of what it’s like to deal with oblivious men as a female, esp. men who dont know how to take a hint — i was actually laughing out loud through his entire proposal sequence, especially at the line where it says elizabeth is trying hard not to laugh too. so familiar.
6 i wish we could see more of charles i actually like him — i also like colonel fitzwilliam and kind of wanted him to marry elizabeth - its kind of hilarious how casual the topic of marriage is with people you’ve just met & i really want to read more about regency history on marriage specifically now to figure out how much is embellished for satire purposes & how much is true to life
7 i have many thoughts on wickham but thats for a separate post
8 from what little i’ve read about p&p analysis/consensus so far, it seems mrs bennet and some other characters have already been torn to shreds over lit history to the point that its become more common to defend them & mrs bennet in particular, which i understand bc she’s supposed to be a satire on women of the time period but of course her concerns are valid and there are real economic reasons for her actions and societal norms that pertain to them. i’ve also read that it’s common for people to prefer mr bennet over his wife and to pit them against each other which can lead into misogyny & i can see this. however (im sure the bennet family ends up happy at the end, but at this point in the story) i think there are valid reasons for these interpretations which lead people to like mr bennet more than mrs bennet. after the ordeal with collins i really lost respect for mrs bennet for threatening to disown eliza & treating her so harshly, and i gained respect for mr bennet for sticking by eliza. i continuously defended mrs bennet and her behavior up until the collins proposal. i understand she’s desperate for eliza to marry so that she doesn’t become destitute etc. but mr collins simply isnt an ideal husband
9 eliza’s feelings on her friend marrying collins are so sad and relatable of how all of us feel when we watch a friend or loved one enter a shitty relationship and/or betray themselves or lose a part of their personality + the idea of having to mourn your friend especially upon growing up etc. but particularly as it relates to the lonely woman’s experience of finding one’s friends starting to center males & prioritize romance over friendship the older you get.
hope some of this is semi-intelligible - i save the grammar for my real essays - but felt like rambling
i think in my last post i was spelling “bennet” as “bennett” so i apologize for that lol - pls dont kill me janeites, i’m new here!!!
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in all sincerity, kim dokja makes me happy and he deserves to be so too :^(
incoherent yelling and sobbing under the cut. these fEELINGS will not be contained aaauuunnghhh.
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anyway i binge-read all 500+ chapters of ORV this week and i honest to god feel bad for this -- completely! fictional! aghhhh -- guy. in case you haven’t figured it out, the following is some spoilerly shit
i went in expecting a fun, brainless power trip fantasy for dudes with an isekai addiction. instead, it turns out ORV is actually a gigantic, self-deprecating prank on the entire genre itself. kdj plays more into the sad -- if high-functioning-- clown trope than the sexy, edgy, chuuni bastard type i was prepared to laugh at. there were -- gasp! -- female characters with personalities! parents (aka ADULTS who act like ADULTS) who actually survive and feature prominently! adorable children! a real sexy, edgy bastard! a power trio with amazing fashion! sexual tension and bickering! friendship! life and death bonding!
*breathes in deeply* fouND FAMILYYYYYYY.
like, yeah, the plot around the first few arcs seems a little aimless, but the buildup is worth. the world-building is pretty decent. there’s discernible effort put into the fight scenes, and i can appreciate that. but -- but! what i stayed for were the characters -- namely, the fantastic OT3 of KDJ, HSY, and YJH -- who come together despite their initial rivalries and end up saving each other’s asses, like, every other day. granted, the other characters don’t get as much focus, and they do fall into certain character tropes..
but a trope done well is nothing i would gripe about. every significant character in ORV has a coherent, and more importantly, respectful take on their respective trope. maybe it’s because sing-shong is actually a married couple, but all the interactions between even minor characters are a convincing blend of awkward rambling, suggestive humor, sharp remarks, and casual banter. in other words, this cast of mostly working adults (plus a teen and two kids) talks like working adults. the relationships built throughout the story are, frankly, some of most realistic of its genre. sing-shong has managed to craft a dynamic that undoubtedly brims with fluffy fondness all around, but also drips with sarcastic tension, with unspoken urgency, with a wariness that softens into sincerity over the course of many, many chapters. it’s the kind of progression that makes even stock characters read like more than just the 2-bit villain or comrade or love interest. here, we have relationships both straightforward and not, strained or otherwise, romantically-oriented as well as decidedly the opposite -- and then numerous others scattered along the spectrum with the freedom to shift either way.
it’s also an interesting point of note that our MC kdj actually does not end up with a stated romantic partner, much less a conventional heteroromantic harem. he gets teased about that fact from time to time, but it’s with less of the sleazy shonen locker room humor one would expect and more of the good-natured ribbing you’d find among friends or that one especially nosy auntie at the yearly family reunion. kdj is a grown ass man. in the background, i applaud his maturity, and he handles all the prodding like a champ.
so instead of finding and fulfilling his horny, he builds himself a wealth of loving family. yeah, there are beautiful men and women around him. yeah, they unequivocally adore him. but they’re also adults, and they have priorities, too -- which are not so much finding a way to bang kdj’s brains out and more so simply keeping the damn guy alive. this is truly not ‘oblivious mc with his thirsty, sex kitten harem’. it just so happens that a guy proves himself to be unflinchingly gentle and capable in an apocalyptic setting despite his broken self-esteem, and lots of people find that attractive, romantically and platonically.
it.. kinda makes sense? he’s a hard worker, thoughtful, and good with kids. kdj is the kind of guy you know would make a reliable partner, and anybody with eyes can plainly see and appreciate that.
and it’s not that our MC’s a total brick wall. in fact, it’s likely the opposite, and he’s just too darned repressed to admit it. from what has been implied, kdj does indeed recognize and accept love, or at least a primitive concept of it. i like to imagine that the kind of love that he ends up seeking out simply manifests itself more easily as acceptance and safety, as warmth and a home of people to return to every day. even better, the people who surround him know this, and they give him exactly that. it’s refreshing, and honestly, really sweet.
(as a side note, i really, really do appreciate the cosmic bi energy radiating off of kdj, who canonically earns the title of being loved by all and is all but in name married to yjh and hsy. he also respects women and small children and honestly anyone who isn’t total scum to him or his family. i respect that.)
but the happy stuff aside, you know it it just ain’t ORV without the generous screaming dollop of angst. admittedly, there’s self-sacrifice, injury, lonesome wandering, more sacrifice, some epic fighting, reunion and confrontation. all of it is a lot to digest, sure, but never does it feel entirely hopeless, or truly, truly heart-clenching. ORV, up until the final act, is a mostly light read. you relax in your chair, thinking that nothing beyond this point can disturb you.
yeah fucking right.
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and then the beginning of the end arrives. when the squad finally break through to their ‘ending’, the scene that kind of breaks me is the reveal of the Most Ancient Dream. it ties so much thematically into the little tidbits that we get of kdj’s past, and it though it feels like almost a joke that the source of the goddamn apocalypse is a kid with bruises smeared across his skinny ass body -- it’s such a pathetic picture that it’s kinda poetic, actually. you’re left mystified but somewhat convinced, like a math problem explained halfway through. this.. child.. is a villain somehow, isn’t he?
and then 999th turn uriel speaks up, and she. just. hugs him.
[[You are this universe’s most powerless existence, aren’t you.]]
that. that gets me. kdj’s reaction immediately upon this revelation? absolute murder. seeing him essentially self-destruct upon realizing that all these people he’s surrounded himself with -- some who continuously proclaim their loyalty and affection for him throughout their journey, some who suffered eons of war and loss and trauma because of his existence -- not only forgive his younger self but smother him with unconditional acceptance and love is stifling, is too vulnerable and exposed and he simply can’t cope -- it’s so telling of his true mentality, of his crippling insecurity and crumpled sense of self-worth. kim dokja is a liar, through and through, so much that he fails, or perhaps refuses, to comprehend the veracity of others’ kindness and love towards himself.
by some miracle, the events at the end of the world somehow resolve.. or so it seems. there is a departing train, a liberated team of ex-gods, and a child rousing from his slumber. in the aftermath, i am left shaking. somehow, despite the ending having been (happily?) reached, there’s still another chapter ahead. what is this witchcraft?
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and then ah, yes -- the epilogue arc. i teetered on the edge of being critical for a little bit there -- is that display of deus ex machina, of sad, self-sacrificing nobility a bit too egregious to be acceptable? is this some wild last let-me-yank-this-outta-my-ass plot twist to drag out the chapter count? i sincerely thought that the arc before it would have been the finale. i was wrong. thank god.
anyways, as an answer to the above: no, and no. i stake my firm claim on the belief that the epilogue arc was meticulously planned out well in advance of its release, confusing and time-warpy as it is. i liked it. tremendously. even if it entirely invalidates all of kdj’s supposed development (”haha lol yeah sure i won’t sacrifice myself or anything anymore guys don’t worry about me” -- KDJ, at some point because he’s a lying rat bastard). actually, our beloved MC disappears for a large chunk of this arc, and i think it’s great. in his absence, the other characters not only go absolutely fucking nuts, but they have to figure out this new problem on their own, even if the lure of peaceful complacency in the newly saved Korea might convince them otherwise.
and then the whole time paradox thing comes around. yjh goes to space, hsy saves the only life she can, and kdj grows up. the crew waits, holding onto their hope even if it bleeds them dry. sing-shong does a damn good job of illustrating their fraying calm, their lurking madness, the unseen but pervasive depression that seeps in from kdj’s absence. the kids lose their father, lhs and jhw lose their reliable leader figure, ysa loses a best friend and confidant, lsk -- as distant as she pretends to be from her son -- loses her only child. and then there’s hsy and yjh , who are essentially bereft of the other half of their existences. their pain is palpable, is grounded in the hopeless, gnawing frustration of an utterly meaningless victory. emotionally, ORV hits all the right -- if agonizing -- beats.
however, a story can’t sustain itself just through its pathos. i’m happy to say that ORV doesn’t drop the ball after the first milestone, and after all the hurt, the characters do leap straight back into action. even better, the plot holes actually do get patches, and the poetic cycle of writer, protagonist, and reader comes full circle by making use of all those supposedly throwaway characters from the myriad world lines.
at the end of the road, there is a distinct sense of unity, of a delicate but undeniable cohesion to the world lines and their origins. sing-shong lets us guess a little here at the finish, but there’s just enough information to feel hopeful. maybe there never had been a definite start -- or finish -- to the story of kdj company, and... that’s okay. everybody ends up where they were meant to be, where they fought and struggled to reach. it’s.. almost like a happily ever after, if we’re allowed to dream of that.
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now, i realize, this was all an orchestrated maneuver.
i’ll take it.
to me, all of this work sounds like someone put some serious thought into this behemoth of a plot. it cements the entire original premise of the story. it suggests -- but never explicitly confirms! -- the possibility that breaking free of the cycle is possible through the exact same system that sustains it. it’s terribly interesting -- and inspirational! with all the dramatic revelations and life-threatening scenarios and the cast’s resigned acceptance of them that essentially make up ORV’s entire mood, there’s still that last hint of rebellious and righteous anger that lights up the whole damn nebula. it’s like the kdj company blasting away at the heavens just to yell into the nether: we’re not looking for the happy end, but the free one. stay alive.
it’s subtle, and yet it’s such an emotional gut punch. i came away with the most ruinous, frustrating, bittersweet sense of longing in ages. i pined. for these fictional darlings. god, i am weak.
so. yeah. ORV is pretty good. flawed, but ambitious and impressively thought out. i’m stoked that the webtoon is making pretty good progress, even if it’ll take an eternity and a half to meet that monstrous chapter count. i’m still gonna follow it. hell yeah.
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(by the way the idea that secretive plotter and co are literally gonna take care of and raise baby kdj and spoil him and be the best friggin family a kid could ever want does things to me. protect him. he’s suffered too much. let at least one worldline’s version of him know happiness. and actually, aLL OF THEM DESERVE DOMESTIC BLISS TOGETHER IN A BIG OL MANSION WITH SUN AND FRESH AIR AND TENDER FAMILY MOMENTS UGH)
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and there you have it, folks. you made it to the end. in the far, far distance, i’m cheering you on and crying my eyes out in gratitude. thanks for tuning in!
#omniscient reader#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#kim dokja#fanart#kdj happiness rights!#protect him!#let! him! have his big house! with everyone! he loves!#please!#long ass emotional screeching#look i can't do him justice with drawing but hell can i yell out my love for him :'^DD
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The Farmhouse (m)
Pairing: Wooyoung x reader, San x reader, Yeosang x reader + multiple Ateez members x OC characters + boy x boy action
Word count: 14.9k
Warning: sex (though mostly foreplay), threesome, mentions of sex, alcohol use, some Ateez members are gay
disclaimer:
I am not trying to assume anyone’s sexuality with this story, that was not what this was meant for! This is all a work of fiction and what I write in this story doesn’t necessarily reflect my thoughts in real life.
A/N: I had originally planned for this story to end up very, very differently but I like to write wherever my mind goes. That’s why I had originally planned to split this up into four parts, with a different ending in my mind. You’ll find out part of what that different ending was in the extra scene at the end n.n
Day 1
On a trip, the last mile is always the longest - it’s not so much the truth as the truth of a feeling. Yunho made sure the last mile wouldn’t come for a while. Even though he had proclaimed himself to be an excellent driver, perfectly capable of following up instructions while driving safely, he hadn’t been too successful in making that statement come true. With Jongho screaming different directions at him, increasingly getting more frustrated with Yunho’s inability to follow these, Yechan from the back attempting to give directions without really knowing where all of you were, you were more so focused on what was outside of the car. Over the course of your journey to the countryside, the landscape had gradually changed; from the tall buildings of the busy city, you got closer and closer to the national park, where you would be staying nearby.
“This must be it!” Daemi said excitedly. She had been quiet while the others had been arguing, but when you looked out of the front window, you noticed she was right. The building, a large two-storey farmhouse, concealing an even bigger backyard, with a vineyard next to it, matched the AirBnB advertisement perfectly.
“Oh, that’s Seonghwa’s car,” Yunho said, unable to keep the relief out of his voice. He steered the car onto the driveway and parked it right next to Seonghwa’s.
When you got out of the car, you were instantly greeted by a voice from higher up: “Hey, look up!” You shielded your eyes from the sun as you looked up to find a half-naked Wooyoung hanging out of an open window. “You’re the last ones to arrive.”
“It’s because Yunho can’t drive,” Jongho said, at the same time Daemi said: “It’s because Jongho doesn’t know how to read a map.”
“Well, you’d better come up and get yourselves a room,” Wooyoung said. “The others have already started drinking and none of the groceries have been done yet.”
To that, everyone nearly fell over each other to collect their bags from the trunk of the car. The house had enough rooms to accommodate 16 people, but because of some being less comfortable sleeping in rooms with certain others, everyone had more or less divided up the rooms beforehand, and mattresses were dragged around to make sure everyone had a bed to sleep in at night. Or during the day, considering the objective of this trip was not to have a wholesome trip to escape from your usual busy lives in the city. Of course it was that too, but there was also the idea that you would just get away to party and get drunk, the way you couldn’t so easily in the city, where there was always some authority to monitor you.
You shared a room with Daemi and Yechan, your best girl friends. To accommodate Yechan, you got an extra mattress from the room opposite yours, which was one with an in-room shower. “…so that’s our bathroom,” Yechan concluded as she flopped down onto her unmade mattress and closed her eyes. “I’m going to take a nap.”
“A nap? We have to make our beds first. And the groceries still need to be done,” Daemi said.
“Why didn’t anybody else go while we were gone?” you sighed.
“Well, if Wooyoung’s right and they already started drinking…” Daemi shrugged. “Maybe we should do the groceries. Before everyone gets too drunk.”
When you got downstairs, you saw that Daemi had been right; a lot of people were already quite drunk. Seonghwa was one of them, pressing his car keys into your hands, despite you not having a drivers’ license. “Take them,” he said. “Take them. Take more beer with you too. The good ones.”
“Hwa, I don’t drink beer-“ you started, but Seonghwa kept rambling about the beer you needed to get.
“I’ll come with you,” San said, jumping up from his seat next to Alice and pushing Seonghwa into it. “I know which brand of beer he likes.” He smiled at you and you smiled back thankfully. You were glad to find that it wasn’t just going to be you and San doing the groceries – as he had been drinking and you didn’t have your license, there was no one who could even legally drive the car off the property if you had wanted to. You were glad to find it wasn’t just going to be the two of you. That would’ve probably made for some awkward moments between you. You had been alone with just San before, and it had been normal, until it wasn’t anymore. Something snuck into your relationship that could only be described as attraction. Perhaps it was just plain physical attraction, as your heart always beat slightly quicker when you saw him, or perhaps it ran deeper, but what you did know was that your friendship was good and you didn’t want to ruin it with a crush.
The dynamic in the friend group had always been amazing. The traditional idea about boys and girls not being able to be friends without romantic feelings involved, was completely destroyed by you guys’ friendships. Only Seonghwa and Sooyoung were officially dating, following a set-up Hongjoong had cooked up by himself. Sooyoung had never been part of the friend group before, and the same went for Soojin, her best friend. The friend group dynamics had actually improved upon Sooyoung and Soojin’s introductions to the group nearly two years ago.
It was for that reason you didn’t feel uncomfortable while in the car with only boys: Yunho drove again, Jongho navigating once more. You were squished in between Hongjoong and San in the backseat of Yunho’s car, which was roomier than Seonghwa’s, with the latter’s car keys pressing into your leg through your jeans. While Jongho and Yunho already started arguing about which way to go and which supermarket to choose, you turned to Hongjoong as he talked about the plans for the next couple of days: “…sauna, so maybe we can hop in there tonight. And tomorrow Anna and I want to do a barbecue by the lakeside. It’s not that far a drive but if we want to take beer there, we can walk too.”
“Of course we’ll want to take beer,” San said. “Maybe even wine and stuff. Hey, Y/N, we have your favourite drink too. It’s cheaper in cities than in the countryside, we figured out.”
“My favourite drink?” you turned to him.
“That soju-yogurt cocktail you like so much. Wooyoung and Yeosang made it for you.”
You felt your heart swell at San remembering you liking soju-yogurt cocktails. It had been a while since you told him about loving it the first time you tried it and it becoming your signature drink when going out. You weren’t big on alcohol the way other people could be, but sometimes you found yourself casually wanting to make your own soju-yogurt cocktail at home. “I hope there’s still left when we get back.”
Once at the grocery store – which was tucked away behind a scary-looking church that, according to Yunho’s limited amount of information about the surrounding area, once belonged to a cult – Hongjoong was in charge of listing off the grocery list and checking the boxes corresponding with what the others put into the cart. You were staying close to San’s side, as you always did when he was around. Yes, you found him physically attractive, which made you want to look at him all the time, but there was also something absolutely magnetic about his personality that made you want to be talking to him always. And it seemed like San was really into your conversation as you wandered off from Hongjoong and Jongho to find a certain brand of pasta sauce. Despite the simplicity of the topics you were talking about, which ranged from Yunho not being able to drive and Yechan karate chopping you in the head when she saw a mosquito flying past that she wanted to kill, you felt a little nervous around San. Once you had told Daemi about it, hoping she would come with valuable advice, but instead she had laughed at you and just declared you were crushing on San, hard. And perhaps she was right.
When you got back to the farmhouse, needless to say, the soju-yogurt cocktail was gone. Feeling robbed of the one thing you were looking forward to about returning, you opted to drink water instead. You’d start drinking alcohol after dinner, you told yourself, so you wouldn’t get sick. Finally, when it was clear there were little to no sober people you could strike up conversation with, you excused yourself to go upstairs and shower.
The summer heat made everything hot and sticky, including your body. You grabbed a towel and some clean clothes as well as your toiletry bag before going to the single room with the shower. The room was small and simple, with a window overlooking the backyard and the mountains in the distance. You cracked the window open, quickly glancing down to see the back patio, only accessible through the kitchen. As you put on the shower, you enjoyed the smell of freshly cut grass and summer drafting in through the window, as well as the sound of the water cascading on your body mixing with the sounds of a chirping bird outside and the sounds of cows in the distance. Until your attention was caught by a sudden yelp: “Wooyoung!”
Your eyes shot wide open when you recognized that voice. Rose. Along with Alice and Anna, they were in your friend group because Daemi liked them a lot. Your personality didn’t match well with Rose and although you didn’t hate each other or anything, you weren’t very fond of Rose and you were sure the sentiment was shared by her. As far as you knew, Wooyoung, however, thought she was amazing.
“Don’t tell me you don’t like it,” Wooyoung’s voice sounded, loud, as if he was right there in the room with you. It immediately gave you goose bumps.
“Hm, I like it,” Rose’s voice came again. You could just about imagine her shaking her blonde hair out of her face, over her shoulder… You had always thought she looked closest to an angel as was humanly possible. Perhaps your dislike of her had something to do with how you were jealous of her always getting the guys she wanted, how she managed to get every single boy to ever lay eyes on her to fall in love with her and how she could effortlessly keep and make friends… “You like this?”
“Hm, Rose…” That was a groan. A groan from Wooyoung. You had never heard something so utterly sexual. You shivered. Saying you were feeling increasingly uncomfortable was nearly an understatement. They continued to make sounds that made you want to throw up in your mouth. Had they been drinking this much already? Or were they just that into each other that it didn’t bother them it was broad daylight outside? Did they not hear your shower running too? Or were they not aware how perfectly audible they were? You felt like you weren’t supposed to be naked while you could hear them so clearly; it felt weird.
You quickly turned off the shower and wrapped your towel around yourself. Even though you had taken your clothes and toiletry bag into the single room, you didn’t want to hear a single sound anymore, so you made your way back to your room where you took your time getting ready, trying to shake off the nasty feeling Wooyoung and Rose’s acts had left behind.
While putting on clothes and jewellery and smearing light makeup on your face, you felt the urge to dress the best you could, despite the fact you were just going to be cooking and eating and drinking with your group of best friends. There was something inside of you screaming that you wanted to prove to everyone that you, too, were worthy of getting fingered and giving handjobs on the patio as well – there was no other explanation for what they had been doing and no need to lie to yourself about it. More importantly, you felt the need to prove to specifically Wooyoung you could handle whatever he would give you on that patio. More so than Rose. But that was ridiculous. You wouldn’t really want Wooyoung to touch you like that.
As you finished the perfect winged eyeliner, you decided that was enough makeup. You made your way downstairs, collecting Anna, Daemi and Hongjoong for dinner. “Let’s get going,” you said.
“Seems like you already got going,” Daemi chuckled, following you closely into the kitchen. “Who is that outfit for?”
“For you, of course.” You sent her a wink.
“San is one lucky boy,” Daemi said quietly, so no one else could hear, before getting to work on cutting up onions. If only she knew, you thought to yourself, taking it upon yourself to cut up the potatoes.
It took a surprisingly long time to cook for 16 people, despite the extra hands pitching in to slice up vegetables and do the washing up. You realized how much you’d been underappreciating the restaurant people who churn out dishes at an insane speed, compared to how you’re cooking a relatively simple dish with little ingredients while needing all the help you can get.
“Ah,” you hear a voice, “can I taste?” Before getting confirmation, the spoon is already in the pasta sauce and before you can scold him, the spoon is already in his mouth. “Hm, needs a little more spice, I think.”
“Yeah? Well, you think wrong.”
“What? You haven’t even tasted yet,” Wooyoung said, putting the spoon back on the counter. There’s a smirk on his face that your hands are itching to wipe off with a slap, and a blush on his cheeks that you know is not the effect of the hot weather.
“The recipe doesn’t call for extra spices, thank you very much.”
“What’s got you all upset?”
“I’m not upset,” you bite back, proving the opposite.
“Ah, it must be the period,” Wooyoung said, with an air of superiority.
“Fuck you, Wooyoung.” You threw your own wooden spoon down into the pasta mixture, splattering both yourself and Wooyoung with the red sauce, before storming out onto the patio – only to find Rose standing, a gleeful smile on her face and a cigarette between her lips.
She looked up instantly. “You look a little upset.” Her smile faded away as she stuck out her hand to you. “Need a drag?”
You didn’t even bother responding, instead dealing with the embarrassment of having to go back through the kitchen to escape. When dinner is served, you can’t even muster up the faintest of smiles or feign happiness. At least what got you so upset wasn’t your period. And quite frankly, you were even angrier that Wooyoung thought it was okay to make such a joke, whilst normally being so attuned to girls’ feelings, especially yours.
You hated the pasta, but you ate it anyway. You glanced over to where Wooyoung was seated, chatting excitedly to Seonghwa and Mingi, the left-overs of the splattered sauce staining his white shirt. You didn’t even feel remotely guilty.
You were glad when dinner was finished, so you could commit yourself to working on another batch of soju-yogurt cocktail, this time without Wooyoung, since he was too busy in the sauna. Probably flirting with Rose, you thought to yourself as you grumpily got to work on the ingredients. San and Yeosang were right there with you; Yeosang because he knew how to make it and San because he evidently wanted to cheer you up. He kept saying cheesy jokes and poking your cheeks and then his own ‘to see if he could give you his dimples’. Every time you gave him an annoyed look, his smile made your heart flutter and your mouth shut.
As the night progressed, you were aware you were drinking a bit too much of the mixture. Maybe a bit too much of any liquor, really, because by the time the clock struck 11 o’clock, you were already very close to quitting alcohol for the night, while Soojin was only on her second drink of the evening.
“I’m going to get some air,” you said to no one in particular, before getting up and stepping outside, sliding the door closed behind you. Away from the stifling heat inside, the cool mountain air managed to cool you down enough to not sway on your feet as you threw your head back to look at the night sky. It was dotted with stars, only visible because you were so far away from cities and their light pollution. You were in the middle of deep contemplations about the universe, when you heard a noise. Oh no, not again, you thought to yourself, your head snapping down to look over the balustrade, down at the swimming pool.
On the edge of it you could see two figures, barely visible in the darkness. But from what little light the porchlight shone on them, you could make out that it’s San – it’s unmistakably him. But who is with him? It takes a little more squinting and a moan before you make yourself rip away from the sight, stomping back into the house. You don’t even tell anyone that you’re heading up to bed.
Only when you’re finally underneath the covers, you allow yourself to think about what you saw. Your long-time crush, Choi San, shoving his tongue down the throat of Kim Alice, someone you had always figured was rather harmless a person to have around. She didn’t speak much in big groups – kind of like you – but when she did, she was funny. She was a joy to be around, seemed to have a life devoid of problems, she was conventionally attractive… With a sigh you turned on your side, closing your eyes, willing yourself to fall asleep. But all you saw with eyes closed was San and Alice, kissing as if their lives depended on it.
Day 2
After you and Anna had put away the dirty plates and cutlery into the dishwasher and turned it on, everyone was about ready to leave for the lake. The morning had been off to a slow start but with the sun beaming down on everyone, scorching hot, they were all suddenly up and running. Their sudden energy was not the reason you left the cars at the house and instead walked through the significantly cooler forest to get to the lake. After all, according to Hongjoong, it’s not a far walk. The reason was solely to be able to drink.
Jongho and Yeosang carried the cool box filled to the brim with drinks and meat, which was undoubtedly the heaviest thing to carry, while Daemi and Alice offered to carry the blankets to sit on. Everyone else was assigned their own towels and clothes to carry. You stayed at the back of the group with Mingi, who was positively hungover from the night before and had to stop every few minutes or so to clutch at his stomach and complain about how nauseous he felt. Needless to say, the two of you arrived only when Seonghwa had already started to set up ‘camp’, as he called it, and the others were already half-undressed and in the water.
Soojin was in the midst of stripping off her sundress, convincing Alice to do the same. Both were trying to get Yunho to abandon his duties of helping Seonghwa lay down the blankets, for him to come swimming with them. Jongho and Yeosang, who had been in the front with Hongjoong, setting the pace and navigating, had already put the cool box down, Jongho in the process of taking off his pants.
“Y/N,” Sooyoung appeared in front of you suddenly. “Do you want to come with us to the village? It’s just a ten minute walk, Hongjoong said, and it’s apparently really pretty. Maybe you can take some photos.” She gestured toward your film camera, a gift from Wooyoung for your last birthday. You had taken it with you to the lake, thinking you could get a lot of use out of it to capture the memories of the trip.
“Sure, seems like fun,” you said. “Who’s coming?” You felt torn as Sooyoung told you it was just going to be you, Seonghwa, Hongjoong and Yeosang. On the one hand you were glad that San and Wooyoung were staying behind, as you weren’t sure you could handle having to deal with them for too long. On the other hand, you were a little torn on leaving them behind with Alice and Rose. You had to remind yourself they were nothing to you but your friends as you shrugged your heavy backpack off and gave Mingi a pat on the head before he threw himself down on the blankets. Even though he was groaning and being apologetic, no one believed he found it really terrible he could not come with.
Hongjoong and Seonghwa were completely attached to Sooyoung, which caused you to stay with Yeosang. He was typically a very observant but quiet person; he noticed a lot but never said a thing about it. Imagine your surprise when he asked: “So, you were not having a great time last night?”
“Was it that obvious?” you groaned.
“Wooyoung told me you cursed at him. You know, he was joking about the period thing.”
“I know. Doesn’t make it okay.”
Yeosang turned semi-serious. “He hates it when you two fight.”
“Has he told you that as well?” You were starting to lose your temper, which you did not want. After all, Yeosang had nothing to say about what Wooyoung was feeling, saying or doing.
“No,” Yeosang said. “I just know. You’re his best friend, even though it might not seem like it sometimes. What were you mad about anyway?”
You gnawed at your lip. The fact was, you weren’t entirely sure what you were particularly mad about. That he was fingering Rose on the patio while everyone could notice? That he was fingering Rose on the patio of all places? That he was fingering Rose to begin with? That it was Rose, of all people? And what reason did you have anyway to care about what Wooyoung was doing romantically or sexually? You were only friends.
But if there was someone you could talk to this about, it would surely be Yeosang, right? Apart from you, he had known Wooyoung the longest. Before it was you and Yechan and Daemi, it had been you and Wooyoung and Yeosang. And even before that, it had been Wooyoung and Yeosang. That was before San had come in and essentially stolen Wooyoung away. It was before a lot of things.
You sighed. “Well, when I was showering last night? Before dinner?” You mentally cringed at what you were about to say: “I heard some noises outside. I’m pretty sure – No, I’m 100 percent confident that it was Wooyoung and Rose going at it. If you know what I mean.”
“I can guess,” Yeosang said. “And that bothered you, why?”
“I never said it bothered me,” you said. Too defensive. “I don’t like Rose,” you admitted, knowing damn well it was not just that. From the look on Yeosang’s face, you could see he was thinking the same thing. And there was something else too... You were grateful and relieved when he left it at that, though. Instead, Hongjoong pointed you to a small café.
Although it might be small, it was not characterless. There were few people inside that afternoon, leaving a lot of different cakes and pies for you and your friends to try out. As you waited for your order, you glanced around the café. It was covered in pink flowers, even the walls were painted pink. You saw what Hongjoong liked about it – it had a certain charm. One that apparently made Sooyoung feel like she had to excessively comment on everything in a squealy voice. You liked her, but her excitement was giving you headaches. Honestly, you were still feeling kind of miserable and sorry for yourself.
Yeosang cheered you up by sharing the remainder of his chocolate-cherry cake with you when you had finished your own, knowing the best remedy for what you were feeling was food. While on your way back to the lakeside, Yeosang kept to your side, purposefully bringing up things you had done together where Wooyoung hadn’t been involved. The happy memories you had shared with Yeosang were plenty enough to make you smile again and by the time you arrived back to camp, you were genuinely in a good mood.
“Y/N!” Yechan exclaimed as she saw you. “Come jump in! The water’s so good.”
“Gotta set up the barbecue,” you said. “Sorry!” All of that was a lie. After all, you didn’t really have to set up the barbecue and there was Hongjoong already getting started on it. In all honesty, you just didn’t feel like joining the happy couples in the water. As soon as Seonghwa and Sooyoung had raced each other to the campsite, they had discarded their clothes and jumped in the water, engaging in a splash war against Jongho and Soojin. Alice was seated on San’s shoulders, battling Rose, who was on Wooyoung’s shoulders. You didn’t want anything to do with them.
Instead you chose a soft spot on the blankets next to Mingi, who was sound asleep, Rose’s straw sunhat shading his eyes from the sun, relentlessly beating down. Yunho and Daemi were on his other side, playing a game of cards that Yeosang immediately joined, claiming it as his favourite game, although he then proceeded to ask what the rules were.
You watched Hongjoong struggle with the barbecue for a while until you decided it was time to help him out of his misery. As he noticed you helping him, his face immediately brightened up. “What did you think? Of the café?”
“It was great, Joongie,” you said, giving him your brightest smile. You actually meant it. “Thanks for taking us.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” he said. “I just wanted you to have some fun.”
With a sigh you leaned back to sit. “Is everyone just a mind reader now?”
“No, I just overheard your conversation with Yeo on the way to town. Sorry about that. If you allow me to give you some advice – I think you should just be having fun and not letting something like that bother you. And anyway, I always thought you had a crush on San, not Wooyoung.”
You looked at him, shocked. “What?”
“You heard what I said. Hand me the coals, please.”
You did as he said. “What do you mean I have a crush on San?”
Joong shrugged. “It’s pretty clear from the way you behave around him that you do. Or maybe did?” He winked at you playfully. “I mean, why else would you be angry at Wooyoung for finally approaching Rose? You know he’s been talking about her for years now.”
You didn’t know. Perhaps your friendship with Wooyoung was not as unconditional and carefree and honest as you always thought it had been. “Joongie, you’re not making me feel any better right now,” you said, your mind wandering off to his previous comment about you crushing on San. It was true that you liked him, there was nearly no denying it. But if Hongjoong knew, then did the others as well?
“I don’t know, Y/N. I think you should just let loose and have some fun.”
When the fire beneath the barbecue was finally going and Daemi took your place at it to grill chicken satay, you took her place at the card game. When the first batch of food was served, you woke Mingi to call for the others, still in the water. They were quick to join at the mention of food.
Everyone gathered in a circle, smiling and laughing, but all you could do was stab at your food as you looked around the group, wondering who out of all of them knew of your crush on San, who, by the way, looked absolutely stunning with the water droplets on his naked chest glimmering in the afternoon sunlight, like little diamonds. You hated it.
“Say ‘ah’.” You turned to look at Wooyoung, an apologetic smile on his face.
“Ah?”
“No, like this.” He widened his mouth and stuck out his tongue a little, dragging out the ‘ah’ longer. You rolled your eyes but followed his example, which was followed by Wooyoung putting a piece of meat on your tongue. You chewed on it, watching him as he sat down next to you. “Here. Have some more.”
“My favourite,” you said, grabbing the plate from him. “Is this your version of a white flag?”
“Yes,” Wooyoung said. “I’m sorry about the joke I made. Yeosang might have mentioned you really didn’t like it and I guess it’s a pretty assholey thing to say anyway. I don’t want to fight with you.”
“I guess I have to apologize as well,” you said. “I’m not in the best mood and I’m taking it out on you. Among others.” You glanced over at San before focusing back on Woo. “I don’t want to fight with you either.”
“Good.” Wooyoung stuck out his pinkie finger to you, as if you were kindergartners still. “Promise me that we won’t fight during this trip again.”
“Just this trip?” you joked, curling your own pinkie around his. You’re just about to say something else, when a girl plops down on Wooyoung’s other side. You would recognize that blonde hair anywhere.
“Got you pork belly, like you asked.” Rose handed a new plate to Wooyoung. “Hi, Y/N. Why didn’t you go swimming?”
“I might swim after dinner,” you said, surprised she even talked to you. You were not so surprised to find out this was the only thing she was going to say to you, instead looking at Wooyoung, totally transfixed by him. You sighed, going back to stabbing at your food. At least there was no fighting with your best friend now.
You’re glad when the drinking begins and you have an excuse to chug down liquor. You even go swimming for a bit, hanging around Yechan and Yeosang the most. It’s not long after evening falls that Soojin calls out for everyone to return to the farmhouse. You’re clinging onto your beer bottle on the way back, walking next to Yeosang, your arm linked through his. After all, he managed to majorly cheer you up and perhaps he could perform that same magic trick again.
Back at the farmhouse, Mingi perked up enough from his massive hangover to call everyone to him for a beer pong match. With a little help of Anna, he set up teams of two to compete against each other. “Y/N and Yeosang, you begin! Against Yechan and Daemi.”
As you took your place next to Yeosang, you realized it was obvious either Mingi or Anna had picked up on the tension in the house. You kind of wanted to convince Yeosang to cheat and purposefully lose the game, but when you saw his fanatism at landing the first ball in Daemi’s cup, you didn’t have the heart to tell him you didn’t want to play. He was just so smiley and happy… You convinced yourself that a) you wanted to win this game just as badly as he did and b) that you’re not absolutely shit at beer pong.
The first opponents were luckily nearly as bad as you are at the game. Although the ball takes awfully long to land in the last cup, you and Yeosang still manage to defeat Yechan and Daemi. While the two of you are not up against anyone yet, you vow to yourself to get even more tipsy. It won’t help with aim but you were sure it would help your mood. It’s a fine line between tipsy and drunk and you were walking it with little care in the world.
Your next opponents were Hongjoong and Jongho, who already proclaimed themselves Kings of Beer Pong. Only to be beat by you and Yeosang; turns out Hongjoong just had extreme luck playing against Seonghwa and Sooyoung, for his aim is honestly worse than yours, and Jongho can’t keep up against Yeosang, who deserves to officially be crowned King of Beer Pong.
Yeosang’s so surprisingly good at the game that you’re not surprised when you win the finale round against Wooyoung and San. Overcome with emotions that you can’t properly explain and do not want to face and will probably never address ever again, you reached for Yeosang’s face, cupping it in your hands and pressing your lips against his. You felt a shock of surprise run through his body, but his hands effortlessly found your hips to steady you and kiss back.
Despite the absence of butterflies or fireworks or any of the sorts, you become aware of how unaware you are of the sounds around you two. The only sound that’s coming through is Yeosang’s small moans and the sounds kisses tend to make. It doesn’t help that you’re both using an obscene amount of tongue, but you might be drunk and you don’t care – especially not that anyone or everyone is watching and cheering.
When you pull away, you smile at Yeosang, who looks a little stunned but not unhappy about your actions. “Congratulations, King of Beer Pong,” you tell him.
“Thanks, Queen.” He even has the liberty of squeezing your ass, earning him a yelp that broadens his smile. Take that, Woosan, you think to yourself. “Let’s get you another drink.” With his arm still around you, Yeosang guides you to the kitchen, away from prying eyes, both unaware that Mingi was ready to crown you both winners and offer you a prize. You couldn’t care less about what the prize was.
The kitchen is completely empty except for a collection of trash and dirty plates and glasses. After clearing a space on the countertop, Yeosang picked you up with a surprising amount of strength and sat you down on it, then going to fix you a glass of water. “There you go.”
“Water?” you complain. “Yeo-“
“No, you need to sober up a little,” he spoke in a tone of amusement. “I think you’re an amazing kisser and I really enjoyed that, but I also know that kiss wasn’t meant for me.”
“Oh, are you going to tell me who the kiss was meant for then? Because, last I checked, my lips were on yours and not on anyone else’s. I think that was meant for you, Yeosang.”
“Maybe,” he said, “but then with the intent of hurting someone else. Or whatever you thought you were doing back there. You’re not attracted to me.”
“Says who?” you pull Yeosang closer to you by his shirt collar, capturing him between your legs. He looks profoundly comfortable in between them, but you know what he means when he says: “I do. You do, with your body language.”
You rolled your eyes at him, setting the glass of water down next to you. “I’m not going to endure another talk about how in love I am with San and how everyone can tell.”
“I wasn’t going to say you’re in love with San.”
“Okay, Wooyoung then. Only because I was jealous he fingered Rose on the patio. The patio! That one over there!” You pointed at it for emphasis. “All of those feelings are not yours to comment on, Yeosang. Hongjoong.” You narrowed your eyes at him as he entered the kitchen rather innocently.
“Wh-“ Hongjoong locked eyes with Yeosang and immediately his eyes widened. “I’m out of here right now. Sorry.”
“Drink your water,” Yeosang said, giving you a little pat on the knee before following Hongjoong out of the kitchen. You sighed in frustration, grabbing the glass and bringing it to your lips. It actually tasted pretty nice to be drinking something as pure as water after all of the alcohol you had been consuming. Perhaps Yeosang was right and the kiss hadn’t been meant for him at all, not even a little bit. Perhaps you were just trying to make him jealous. And you weren’t quite sure which him you meant with that.
Perhaps the him that came walking into the kitchen right at that moment, empty bottle of beer in hand. “Oh, have you come to lecture me too?” you said before he could even open his mouth – just one look was enough. “I’m sick of it.”
“Well,” San said, “now that you mention it. Why did you kiss Yeosang?”
“Why wouldn’t I? You have been all over Alice too, haven’t you?”
“You really don’t understand, do you?”
“Understand what?” There was a viciousness to your voice that made San shake his head. “I’m not going to argue with you while you’re still drunk.”
“Yeah? Well-“ But you didn’t get a chance to say anything hurtful to him as he had already left the kitchen. With a sigh you chugged down the water, slid off the countertop and walked to your room. You could faintly hear all the noises in the living room, the partiers, but you were glad you weren’t there with them. This was not the fun trip you had planned for it to be.
Day 3
Even though Anna had planned something to do the day after, everyone was so hungover that no one really felt like going anywhere. You woke up first, quietly stepping over a snoring Yechan and trying not to wake a sleep-talking Daemi as you went to the single room across the floor to have a shower. This time without opening the window, even though you knew it was highly unlikely you would hear Wooyoung and Rose again. You went downstairs, made yourself breakfast, and by the time you had finished, the first people started coming down. The first was Jongho, followed by Soojin and Anna. Soon thereafter, Yunho and Daemi appeared as well, looking different states of dishevelled. There was still dried up spit in the corner of Yunho’s mouth. “Who’s up for a walk?” he excitedly said.
No one felt like going, but you jumped up at the opportunity to be away from the farmhouse for a bit. Accompanying Yunho on his walk was quite peaceful. You never had a really close relationship with him as you did Wooyoung or Yeosang, but you were happy to be around him. It certainly helped that your surroundings were breath-taking, with views you could barely get enough of. It was so vastly different from what you were used to living in the city, that being at the farmhouse felt all the more special. You were reminded that this was partially why you had agreed to come on this trip; to see the beauty of the nature park. Not to get wound up in drama you yourself created by being… Well, was there a word for the way you were feeling? The way you were acting?
It gave you some peace of mind walking with Yunho and realizing that he wasn’t going to break out in a lecture about not kissing Yeosang if you don’t like him, your everlasting crush on San, or whatever was going on with your friendship with Wooyoung. You had no desire to talk about any of that, but as you walked alongside Yunho, basking in the warm morning sunlight, it was the only thing you were thinking about.
By the time you guys circled back to the farmhouse, the others were up already. Most were still yawning and staring at their untouched plates of eggs and bacon with sleep in their eyes, but Yeosang perked up as you came in. He nodded with his head to get you outside on the patio from which you had seen San and Alice kissing the first night.
“I think I know what this is about,” you started. “Yeo, I was very drunk. It didn’t mean anything between us, at least not to me. I hope you understand.”
“I-“ Yeosang started, but he was interrupted by someone you really didn’t want to see at this particular moment.
“If you don’t like him, then why would you kiss him?” Wooyoung said, his arms crossing over one another in front of his chest. He stood leaning against the closed sliding door, obviously not understanding that this was a private conversation. Obviously not understanding that this was the last straw.
“Okay, I’m done with this,” you said. “Normally I feel like I can be honest with you both but for the past few days-“ You sighed, not fully comfortable with sharing every thought you had, the things that had drove you to go bed so early in the night to mull over by yourself. “You know, I did it because I had something to prove. And besides, why is everyone so upset over this? San is always face sucking Alice whenever he can and you!” You had subconsciously moved closer to Wooyoung, now pricking his chest with your finger. “You did whatever with Rose out there and you didn’t even know that everything you did, I could perfectly hear. You’re both having so much fun with the girls here, but are so quick to scold me for wanting to do the same with Yeosang?”
“That’s really not the same thing,” Wooyoung started.
“Oh, and what makes it different?”
“You’ve known Yeosang for years!”
“You’ve known Rose for years. San has known Alice for years.”
“It’s all not the same thing.”
“Do I get a say in this?” Yeosang said, finally intercepting. Perhaps he had got quite uncomfortable with seeing Wooyoung and you so close to each other, staring each other down.
You both broke away from each others’ gaze at the same time and spoke simultaneously: “No!”
There was a silence and finally a sigh from Wooyoung. “Come find me when you think you can talk like a grown-up, yeah?” He didn’t even really sound mad, perhaps somewhere between defeated and disappointed. He tugged open the door and slammed it shut behind him. You waited for a second, not daring to look at Yeosang, before you followed Wooyoung inside. Instead of heading up the stairs behind him, you went into the kitchen and out onto the patio.
There was no one out. You hoped for Yeosang that he was inside, since clouds had gathered above and there was a light drizzle coming down now. You let it cool your temper as well as your skin, thinking of the trip. You had looked forward to it for so long but it really wasn’t going as you had planned. Yes, you had joked with Daemi and Yechan that some crazy things would happen, claiming that Mingi would be the first one to throw up because of all of the alcohol (you were right about that) and that someone would accidentally throw someone in the pool while they still had their phones on them (hadn’t happened yet, but the trip wasn’t over). Daemi had bet that she would get into an argument with Yechan, Yechan had bet that she would catch Seonghwa and Sooyoung in a compromising position.
The bet made about yourself had been that you would drunkenly act upon your crush on San. You had known when placing the bets with your friends that there was a very slim chance you would ever dare to approach San in that way and as you stood outside, overlooking the mountain area, you realised you didn’t want San anymore. Not the way you had always wanted him, at least.
You used to think San was relationship material, the only guy you wanted to fulfil the need of having a boyfriend. But he wasn’t. He was perhaps too flirty, perhaps too much a person you could only look at from a distance and admire. He wasn’t boyfriend material. Just a friend.
So what about Yeosang? Was that you drunkenly acting upon your hidden crush for him? Was that kiss because you liked him? Was he even boyfriend material to you? No. The answer was simple and clear, you didn’t even have to think about it. Yeosang was just one of your closest friends. He was sweet, really, and you would be lying if you said you had never thought about how it would have been if you were to date him. You were sure he harboured fond feelings for you as well, but those were probably along the same line as what you felt for him. Nothing romantic. After all, it was Yeosang, and you two had known each other for forever. You’d seen each others’ good and bad sides and you thought you knew what he would be like in a relationship. You’d seen his failed relationships play out in the past. You thought you had that figured out.
So then that kiss… Who were you trying to prove something to? What were you even trying to prove? It was true what you had said, however. You were trying to prove to yourself that... Your mind flicked to the first night, when you had heard Wooyoung and Rose’s escapades. You were bothered about it, in a different way than what you had felt when you caught San and Alice.
You replayed the fight you just had with Wooyoung in your head. What did he care what you were up to? You sat down on the small bench. It was wet now, washed clean by the rain; there was no way you otherwise would have sat down on it, considering what had happened a few days before. You rested your head against the wall of the farmhouse. Closing your eyes, you saw the look in Wooyoung’s eyes. You felt how close you had been standing to him.
A knock on the patio door startled you. When you opened your eyes you saw Yeosang, eyes big and with two mugs on a tray. “Hey, Y/N… Can we talk? I brought hot chocolate.”
“Sure,” you said, patting the spot next to you. Yeosang came outside, handing you the tray as he closed the door behind him. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Well… I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. About anything.” This was clearly something that had been bothering him for a while, longer than everything that has gone on in the farmhouse. “Yesterday when you kissed me… I know why you did it and I know why you’ve been so upset these past couple of days. But I just wanted to clear things up so there’s no misunderstandings between us. And besides, I feel like I have lied to you all these years I’ve known you.” He took a deep breath, his hands wrapping around the mug. You saw he was shaking and his nails were bitten down. Maybe you hadn’t paid enough attention to his feelings, instead only rambling on about yours. “I guess I got a little upset this morning too. I hate seeing you and Wooyoung fight, for many reasons. But also because… because I am in love with Wooyoung.”
“W-what?”
“I like Wooyoung. Y/N… I’m gay.”
“But, Yeo…” You bit your lip, wrapping your own hands around the mug. From everything he could’ve said, this was the least of what you had expected. “Wooyoung is… straight.”
“I know, I know!” Yeosang quickly said. “I’ve always known I don’t have a chance with him. Not romantically. I’m fine being his friend, just his friend. You have to believe me.” He was still shaking however. “I also know that no matter what, I want to see him happy. And knowing what I know, you would realize that the Wooyoung he is around Rose? That’s not him being truly happy.”
You frowned. “What are you trying to say?”
“I mean that he’s more into you than he’s into Rose.”
“What?” You shook your head. “Yeo, that’s not right. Wooyoung doesn’t like me like that. I mean, it’s pretty clear-“
“Why do you think that everyone is so upset with you kissing me?” Yeosang chuckled. “They might’ve thought you were into San, or now that you’re into me. But they know for sure that Wooyoung is into you. He’s told San and I that much before. And I think you like him back.”
“How does everyone know that better than I do myself?”
He shrugged. “I can’t speak for everyone, but… All these years of being in love with Wooyoung means I look at him more or less the same way he looks at you. And when you look at him? I see the same thing. You two are just oblivious to each other.”
You finally took a sip of the hot chocolate, your thoughts aligning in your head to form a question: “So what does this thing with Rose mean? Why did he… finger her?” You realized how pathetic it sounded to ask.
“I don’t know. That’s something you have to ask him yourself.”
You nodded and then you turned to Yeosang again. “Yeo, thanks for telling me. I appreciate knowing that you trust me enough to.” You put your arm around him, pulling him into a side-hug like you used to do when you two were younger. “Who else knows?”
“Only Hongjoong does.”
“Of course,” you said. Joong had come out of the closet as bisexual about two years ago. It made sense Yeosang would want to go to him, knowing Hongjoong wouldn’t judge him. “Nothing changes, Yeo.”
You hope Yeosang feels relieved, finally having that burden off his shoulders. You talk a little about how long he’s known and eventually Yeosang asks to leave the subject alone for now and go swimming instead. You are not one to deny him, so you head upstairs to get changed and meet him at the swimming pool. It’s empty except for Yechan and Seonghwa. Sooyoung and Soojin are on sunbeds on the side, but it’s clear the girls were fast asleep. The drizzle of before has stopped but the clouds have remained, however the temperature is climbing upwards as you’re in the pool.
When you and Yeosang join, it breaks up the conversation between Yechan and Seonghwa, the latter of them suggesting to play a game instead. You team up with Seonghwa to even out the playing field and through multiple rounds of a handball-resembling game, you realise that it was futile because you and Seonghwa were bound to lose the second you agreed to teaming up together.
The sun started going down while you were still hanging by the pool, wrinkled out like a raisin but enjoying the contrast between the cool water of the pool and the stifling heat of the overcast summer weather. You and Yeosang didn’t get out of the pool until Anna came to collect everyone for dinnertime. You’re happy sitting in between Yeosang and Mingi – who had remained in his room for the better part of the day, insanely hungover again and having emptied his stomach multiple times – as they talk over your head about this TV show they figured out they both had been watching.
Having not changed out of your bikini for dinner, you are the first to get back into the water afterwards. It’s still warm outside, although it’s pretty much pitch black except for the porchlight. It’s bound to rain and you guess there will probably be thunder and lightning involved. After a moment, you’re joined in the water with Daemi and Yechan, and then Yunho and Mingi, and then San and Alice. As you float around, trying to avoid getting caught in the middle of Daemi-Mingi against Yechan-Yunho, you glance over at San and Alice. They were laughing at whatever joke they told each other, genuine happiness in their eyes, and you knew it didn’t matter that you thought you had a crush on San. He was obviously very happy with Alice. It didn’t matter.
That feeling was amplified when you noticed Wooyoung, just a small distance behind San and Alice, kicking around a ball with Jongho. You were about to look away when you saw him glance over and shoot you a smile. Despite your fight, you smiled back. Maybe this was the right time to make up. You nodded your head in the direction of the trampoline, farther our into the field behind the farmhouse. It was too dark to see out by the trampoline, even with the porchlight, so no one went there at night. It was the perfect spot.
Wooyoung nodded, kicked the ball back to Jongho and said: “I’ll be right back. Go annoy Hongjoong, he looks bored.”
You both laid down on the trampoline in silence, staring up at the sky. Clouds were chasing each other and there was a low rumble in the distance. Thunder. “I’m sorry about how I reacted,” you said, knowing to speed this up. You had known Wooyoung since you two were little and he was still scared of thunder and lightning. By now he had grown up more and also matured – he had told you he still was a little scared, but at least he saw the beauty in the violence of Mother Nature.
“Me too.”
“I just didn’t want to see Yeosang get hurt.”
You were hit suddenly with the realisation that Wooyoung had no idea about Yeosang’s sexuality, or his crush on him. You wouldn’t tell him, because it was up to Yeosang to tell, and that meant that you couldn’t say that it didn’t matter you had kissed Yeosang, because of obvious reasons. Instead you said: “Yeo and I discussed it earlier today. We’re not mad at each other or anything. And I figured this was the best possible time to be honest with you.”
“About what?”
“About…” you sighed lightly. “About that I might… like you?”
“You like me?” Wooyoung sounded no longer like himself, but a little more choked up, his tone of voice very serious. Was he angry at you for sharing this? For fucking up your friendship? You hadn’t even considered the consequences to your friendship, or what any of this would do to your dynamic between you two and Yeosang.
“I guess?”
“You guess or you know?”
“I don’t know. I think I do. Everyone tells me I do.”
“Well, if you don’t know, then I cannot tell you that I like you too.”
Now it was your turn to feel stunned. “What?” You had been told by Yeosang, of course, but that was different. Now you heard it right from the source, from Wooyoung himself.
“I like you too.”
“But I thought you were more into Rose,” you said. “I mean, you two… out on the patio… I thought you were more into her.”
Wooyoung shrugged, making the whole trampoline wiggle. “She’s pretty. I- Okay, I have shared so much with you before but it feels so weird saying it now.” He let out an awkward laugh before he said: “I just felt horny. You know? And Rose was there and she was horny too and she’s not a sight for sore eyes, so I thought: what’s so bad about this? I didn’t know you were showering right above us, or that you had the window open. Otherwise I would’ve probably taken her somewhere else. Or not done it at all.”
“You were just horny?” you repeated. Wooyoung nodded, the trampoline shaking again. “So no feelings for Rose then?”
“Nope,” he said, letting the p pop. “Nothing serious. Not like the way I feel for you.”
You moved over closer to him, shakily reaching out for his hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise it sooner. Then we wouldn’t have had to fight.”
“I should’ve told you the second I knew,” he said, taking your hand in his and squeezing it lightly. “So what made you realise? I knew you liked San-“
You blushed, which fortunately, he could not see. “Can we not talk about San right now? I mean, yes, I had a crush on him, but it was silly. I mean, I liked him when we were still in high school, you know? He was the guy every girl had a crush on and I guess I just jumped on the bandwagon. And I always thought it would be easier to hook up with him because we were already friends, but that just makes it more difficult. And I don’t know him as well as I know you. I just don’t feel what I think you’re supposed to feel when you’re in love – with him. I never noticed the way I feel about you, though, until I compared my feelings for you to what I feel for San or Yeosang.”
“Well, you’d best believe it was torture to see you kissing Yeosang, not knowing what you were truly feeling.”
“Would it be better if I kissed you instead?” And with no further words, you bridged the distance between the two of you, softly kissing his lips. Where your kiss with Yeosang had primarily taken place because you were drunk and trying to make whoever else jealous, the way you had been jealous all throughout the trip, this kiss served an entirely different purpose. It was strange too, kissing Wooyoung, whom you had known for so long and never imagined you would harbour romantic feelings for. But there was a spark, a spark that caught and ignited a flame inside of you. A flame that apparently burned inside of Wooyoung as well, for he pulled you infinitely closer, until you were on his lap.
It was very uncomfortable on that trampoline, and you were glad when a dizzyingly bright flash of lightning followed by deafening thunder caused Wooyoung to yelp. “Let’s go inside,” you said, hopping off the trampoline and pulling Wooyoung with you.
As you walked back, your hand in his, he bent down a little to whisper in your ear: “Come to my room tonight, yeah? Take your film camera.”
And so you did. After everyone had gone to bed, you sneaked out of yours to cross the floor to the room Wooyoung shared with San.
Day 4
The room smelled of boy. And not just any boy. You glanced around in the darkness, the first thing that stuck out to you being Shiber. San had brought his cuddle toy to this trip? You wondered for a second what Alice would think of her having to share the bed and San with Shiber, until you realized that she wasn’t there. You shut the door after yourself, blocking out the light from the hallway to prevent San from waking up, instead going over to Wooyoung. You set your film camera down on the night stand and when you turned to look at Woo, he was already sitting up in the bed.
“There you are,” he said. He sounded surprisingly relieved.
“Did you think I wasn’t going to show up?”
Wooyoung didn’t answer but instead pulled you onto the bed, blindly placing his hands on your cheeks and pulling you in for a kiss. Instantly, it clouded your mind with desire for him. Your head spun as he pulled you on top of him. You gasped as he let himself fall backwards onto the bed, allowing him to slip his tongue inside of your mouth. It was almost obscene – how good of a kisser Wooyoung was, how his tongue softly tapped against yours, how his hands slid down from your face to the hem of your pyjama shorts, slipping his hands under the fabric and onto your ass.
You groaned into his mouth as his hands knead your ass, pulling you closer to him. Wooyoung pulled back only a little bit, but you hated the moment, his voice slightly breathless as he said: “Don’t be too loud. San might wake.”
You glanced over to the other bed and yelped to find San already sitting upright, Shiber wrapped in his arms, just staring at you. “What the fuck!” you exclaimed.
“I’m already awake,” San said.
Wooyoung pushed himself up on his elbows. “Have you just been… listening to us? Watching us? The whole time?”
San shrugged. “It was kind of hot. Maybe next time you’ll allow me to join in.”
You looked at Wooyoung for a second, exchanging a glance. There was an unspoken conversation within that glance, a result of many years of friendship in which you had been a unit, had had an unbreakable bond. And now all of that was transforming into whatever this was, and someone was asking to partake in this same adventure with you? You gulped as you realized what you were seeing in Wooyoung’s eyes. “Fuck,” you muttered. And you nodded.
“San, come here,” Wooyoung said, his voice an octave deeper. San was quick to throw Shiber aside and make his way over to you. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him move this fast, although he was as quick to come to a halt at the side of the bed. You felt your breath hitch as Wooyoung grabbed San’s shirt in his hand and pulled him closer, essentially making San topple over on the bed as he lost his balance. “I think Y/N hasn’t had enough love this trip. If you know what I mean.”
You gulped, not entirely knowing what to say. The boy you were currently into and the boy you had always been harbouring a crush on were on the bed together with you and it was pretty clear what was going to happen now. You felt a familiar wetness, synchronic with San nodding to Wooyoung’s statement. “I think we should give her whatever she wants, don’t you agree?” San nodded again. Wooyoung then turned to you: “Tell us what you want us to do.”
For a moment you were about to ask for what you had always lusted after, which was a filthy, intense make out session with San. But right now, looking at him – his shirt crumpled in the place Wooyoung had pulled him in, his hair messy from having been in bed earlier, his plump lips slightly parted and with a small tent visible through his pyjama pants – you knew what you wanted to see. And still it even surprised you a little when you said: “Kiss each other.”
San’s head shot around to look at Wooyoung, physically below the both of you but in some other way he was dominating you both. “Is that okay?”
Wooyoung leaned up only a little bit to put his hand on the back of San’s head and pull him in, their lips locking. Right off the bat there was tongue involved. You were well aware that you were staring, and well aware that there was no one to catch you staring as San increasingly got more comfortable and seemed more into the kiss. “Slowly,” you instructed. “Slowly.” They listened as if they were puppets, entirely under your control.
The kiss was somehow more heated now that they weren’t hungrily clawing at each other. You thought to yourself how this couldn’t be real life. Just a couple of days ago you had been wanting San as badly as ever, then you had thought him to belong to Alice, and now he was here. Let alone the entire situation with Wooyoung – how just a few hours ago you had still been angry with him for fingering Rose on the patio. But that was something you didn’t want to think about at that moment. “Woo, strip San for me, please.”
Wooyoung listened well – he helped San lift his arms above his head and proceeded to take off his shirt for him, tossing it aside. Next were San’s pants. It took a bit more effort to strip those and then get rid of his boxers too. “San, your turn,” you said. There was no shame visible in Wooyoung, who seemed utterly comfortable with stripping as well. They were still kissing, albeit a little bit more clumsy now San was trying to take Wooyoung’s pyjama’s off. It had never occurred to you that perhaps San wasn’t all that confident and experienced as you had taken him to be. Perhaps he had only been truly intimate with a handful of people. Perhaps this was a first for him – the first time he had a threesome. You couldn’t say you had any experience in this department either.
“Woo-“ you started, but the instructions you were about to give him stuck in your throat as Wooyoung ripped himself free off San and said: “Aren’t you going to get undressed, baby?”
Your mouth almost fell open in an o-shape at the pet name. You had never heard Wooyoung call anyone by a pet name. Let alone be the one to be called one by him. “Sorry.” You felt like you had to say sorry. Why? You weren’t sure. “San?”
San, who visibly wasn’t entirely sure what was going on but was along for the ride regardless, scooted over so he could reach for you. He was less clumsy with you, but you weren’t sure if you had to attribute that to past experiences with girls or to not being engaged in a wild make out session with you. Which quickly changed as your lips smashed together.
Now the three of you were all fully naked, everything that was uncomfortable or awkward about the situation seemed to ebb away. You wrapped your arms around San’s neck, pulling yourself up a little bit so you could rub yourself on him. You couldn’t remember how long it had been since you had started crushing on him, but you had had some fantasies and wet dreams about San before. Admittedly, you’d had them about Wooyoung too. You felt his hands sneak in between San and you and jumped a little from the sudden sensation of Wooyoung’s thumb against your clit. You were sure his other hand was wrapped around San’s shaft – there was no other explanation for the sudden noise that erupted from the boy, your kiss temporaily stopping.
“What do you want me to do, baby?” Wooyoung’s soft voice sounded.
“Hm-“ You didn’t trust yourself to be able to properly tell him what you wanted, so instead you let go of San to kiss Wooyoung instead. San chased after you, attaching his lips to your neck. The confidence he gained made you groan into Wooyoung’s mouth as San nibbled and licked and sucked, sure to leave marks behind. There were noises from San as well, noises that were only explainable by Wooyoung moving his hand on San.
It occurred to you that this was every girls’ dirtiest fantasy and you weren’t taking one second for granted. You let Wooyoung push you back onto the bed, which was in no way able to fit three people in it, but you somehow made it work. You were glad Wooyoung didn’t need any verbal instructions; softly pushing his head down, in the direction of where you needed him most, was enough. He went to work, expertly licking and sucking. It nearly made you fold in on yourself from the sheer pleasure he was giving you, but you were too busy tending to San’s proud erection, oozing precum from Wooyoung’s earlier ministrations.
You wrapped your lips around him, working your mouth in a way that was sure to earn San’s approval – it was audible in his moans and groans, ones you gave back to him from Wooyoung’s actions. San was the first to succumb. The pleasure rendered him nearly unable to speak, but you understood the little taps on your cheek well enough. You didn’t pull away however, allowing San’s cum to fill your mouth. And you swallowed.
San seemed just about spent, but he didn’t leave you hanging. Instead, he went to work on your neck again, his hands coming up to cup your boobs. San didn’t have to do much for Wooyoung had done most of the work on getting you to your high. You came with a high-pitched moan; there was a certain shyness overtaking you at the sound you hadn’t previously thought you could make. You were panting, admiring Wooyoung and your glistening juices on his lips as he came up. There was very little to no talking as you motioned for him to come closer. The sudden urge overcame you – you couldn’t explain what had triggered it. You pushed yourself up just a little bit, in a way that wouldn’t disturb San, as you pulled Wooyoung just a little bit closer, your tongue darting out to lick Wooyoung’s lips, getting a taste of yourself.
“What about you?” you asked tracing your hand down Wooyoung’s chest, down his happy trail, to his cock. “What do you want? Tell me.”
“San-ie,” he said. San looked up from his work on your neck, his eyes slightly hazy. “I want you… to suck me.” That was the first time you saw Wooyoung seem even just a little bit fazed by the situation, instead of looking like he had everything under control. “And Y/N, baby… kiss me.”
You gave San a quick kiss on his lips before coming up onto your knees so you could reach Wooyoung better. There was equal part of kissing and moaning from Wooyoung’s side – he was a lot more vocal than you had expected. The part of Wooyoung that was moaning mirrored the part of you that wanted him inside of you, but tonight was not the night. Instead, tonight was the night Wooyoung grabbed your film camera from his night stand and, in the dark, figured out how to take photos of you and San, coated in Woo’s cum. Yes, tonight was the night Wooyoung coated both you and San in cum – and then went to clean it up himself with San’s T-shirt from the floor.
“Woo,” San complained, but you both heard quite clearly that his heart wasn’t in it.
“Ssh.” Wooyoung pressed a kiss against San’s forehead and then to yours. “Let’s go to sleep.”
The bed really was too small for three people. You had thought it the night before and you were proven right the next morning, when you woke up to a yelp from a distraught San – he had fallen off the bed. He was disgustingly handsome, but your heart didn’t flutter the way it had before. What had remained the same, however, was the heat in your cheeks at the memory of what you got up to the night before, the evidence right there on San’s T-shirt, which he had picked up off the floor with a disgusted expression. “I probably won’t be able to wear this ever again. Damn you, Wooyoung.”
You were surprised to find Wooyoung awake already too, one of his arms folded behind his head. His eyes had been closed before, which lead you to believe he was still asleep, but the smile that played on his lips was unmistakably one of someone who was awake and heard every word of what San had just said.
You watched as San strode across the room and threw his T-shirt in the trash can behind the door. “I’m taking a shower,” he announced, leaving you and Wooyoung in the bed by yourselves as he closed the door behind him.
Wooyoung’s eyes stayed closed, his smile having slightly faded. You pushed yourself up on one elbow and looked at Wooyoung, really looked at him. You had known him for so many years, had gone on so many adventures with him… This was the next big adventure. You reached out, doing something you had always thought of doing but never felt confident enough to. You traced his finely shaped eyebrows, the curve of his eyes… You trailed your finger down his cheeks to rest at the corner of his lips. You were about to carefully trace his lips, full and relaxed, when Wooyoung suddenly snapped his teeth at your finger.
“Woo!” you complained, pouting at him. His eyes were open now, the brown highlighted to several shades of gold in the narrow stroke of sunlight from the window. By the way the sun shone into the room, you could see it was nearing noon. Although in that case, it wasn’t exactly morning anymore, this was by far the best morning you had spent at the farmhouse. “Why did you do that?” You let your finger fall back to his lips and this time he let you trace them, his warm breath hitting your skin. When you let his lips alone, opting to crawl into his embrace instead, you said: “San joined us last night…” Stating the obvious. Great.
“Was it good?” Wooyoung asked, his hand coming up to play with your hair.
“Yeah. I liked it.”
“Me too.” You could hear from his tone of voice – delicious, delicious morning voice – that he was smiling. “I hope San had a good time too. But next time I want you all to myself.”
You felt your heart flutter at his words. There was a next time and that next time would consist of you and Wooyoung exploring each other. You were absolutely certain that this was the best morning at the farmhouse – you felt like the happiest girl on earth. You didn’t know what to say, so instead you just hummed in agreement.
“Would you like me to bring you breakfast?” Wooyoung asked after a while.
“Eggs and sausages,” you said.
“Ooh, making demands now? Actually using your words?” He chuckled and tapped your shoulder, signalling you to get up so he could move. You pushed yourself up and watched as Wooyoung got out of bed. With his back toward you, you saw his muscles stand out as he bend to pick up his shirt off the floor. The room was a mess. “Any preferences for your breakfast beverage, milady?”
You grinned. “The finest tea you serve, milord.”
“Of course.” He bowed before making his way out of the room.
As you were left alone in Wooyoung’s bed you tried to wrap your head around the events of the night before. Coming to the farmhouse you had never expected that this was the way you would end the trip. You hadn’t even suspected anything remotely like this would happen. You got out of bed, dressing yourself in the clothes from the night before, before crossing the room to open up the window.
You had just crawled back into bed, sitting up with your back against the wall, when San came back, his hair wet and a towel hung lowly around his waist. He closed the door behind him and got to getting dressed as you watched him. The silence between the two of you was palpable but nonetheless quite comfortable. You wouldn’t know what to say anyway.
“I didn’t mean to insert myself,” San suddenly spoke up, sitting down on the edge of his bed, clutching Shiber to his chest, “in between you and Woo. I know it was all quite new to you both.”
You shrugged, leaning your head against the wall. “We both wanted it. You didn’t insert yourself in at all. Was it good?” you couldn’t help yourself asking.
San nodded, his cheeks turning pink. “I hadn’t expected it.”
“Believe me, me neither.” You looked at the way San was playing with Shiber’s tail. “It was really new to us,” you then said, surprising the both of you. “I mean, we were friends. And now we’re more.”
“I think everyone saw it coming.”
“I don’t think so,” you said, shaking your head. “You know, I was always crushing on you.”
“You were?” San looked up, stopping his playful antics with Shiber. “I didn’t notice.”
You nodded. “It was a long time crush. But there’s a difference between crushing on someone and loving someone. I realised that because I watched you and Alice.”
There was no response to the mention of Alice. You found you didn’t really care. San resumed playing with Shiber, but his eyes stayed trained on you. “So why Yeosang?”
“Vengeance.” You knew how terrible that sounded but there was no other word for it. “He was… there. I know it’s wrong. But I needed to know why I felt so jealous of Rose.” With a sigh you let yourself fall sideways onto the bed. “Now I do. And now I know why I don’t love you. Not in that way.”
The door opened to reveal Wooyoung carrying a tray, a literal mountain of food on the plate that he carried, a tea pot and three cups next to it. “Breakfast!” He set the tray down on the floor, and despite the mess that was the room, the three of you crowded around the tray to eat the breakfast Wooyoung had prepared.
The idyllic bubble of Woosan’s room had to be broken some time. You regretted stepping foot out of the room the second you did it, but you felt dirty so you wanted to shower, and besides that, you had to pack up the rest of your belongings to return home. You got into the shower, the same one you had been in the first day. The window was cracked open, letting in the sounds of nature and summer. You shut your eyes, enjoying the feeling of the water scorching your body.
Yechan was waiting for you in your bedroom when you got back to pack up. “I know where you went last night. I’m glad I didn’t have to hear it. I know Seonghwa and Sooyoung had a front row seat though.” She smiled. “So, you have to tell me all the details. How was your first threesome?”
“Yechan!” you covered your face with your hands. “I’m not going to talk about this with you.”
“Okay, maybe without details, then,” she said. “At least tell me you had a good time.”
You lowered your hands a little bit to look at her. Your best friend, with you through everything… “It was really good.” You bit your lip at the excitement that erupted from Yechan. Her happiness rubbed off on you, though, and soon enough you were, despite yourself, telling her just a few details. Like San having to throw out his shirt afterwards. You left out the pictures Wooyoung took of you and San. Those were private.
“Are you in a polyamorous relationship now?” she asked, her eyes wide and genuine.
You shook your head. “I don’t think so. I think it’s just me and Woo.”
Yechan nodded. “That’s good too.” She took your hand and softly squeezed, her smile saying more than words ever could.
The next person you had to talk to was Yeosang. You were carrying your bags out to the car when he popped up beside you. “Let’s go on the trampoline,” he said. You nodded, following him across the backyard to the trampoline, overlooking the vineyard. It was better in the day than it was last night.
The little kids in you jumped out by the way you nearly toppled over each other to get onto the trampoline, performing tricks as you jumped. After a bit you let yourself fall down, out of breath. “Yeo, I need to tell you something,” you said and he stopped jumping as well. “I had s-“
“Sex with Wooyoung. I know,” he said.
“You do?” Okay, perhaps you weren’t right to be surprised he knew. If you had to believe Yechan, the three of you hadn’t been very quiet. “I mean- San was there with us too.”
“I know. I heard everything,” Yeosang sat down on the trampoline now too. “The walls are pretty thin, you know.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry that I heard?”
You chuckled. “Yes, that too. But also that I did that. Now that I know you like him-“
“It doesn’t matter,” Yeosang said, turning his head to look up at the sky, shielding his eyes from the sun with his hand. “He’s not into guys anyway and I know how much you two like each other. I haven’t been completely blind over the last couple of years, you know? I’ll find someone that likes me like that and that I’ll like back. I’m fine with what happened. Don’t worry about me.”
“If you’re so sure,” you said, looking up at the sky too. “I just feel guilty.”
“Don’t.” Yeosang reached over and grabbed your hand in his, giving it a squeeze. “Just know that Rose also heard and she’s crazy upset with you two.”
You sat up, looking over at him. “Just about how many people have heard every single second of last night?”
“How many people are with us on the trip?” Yeosang started counting on his fingers. “So 13. Except maybe Mingi. He was out cold. That makes 12.”
“Jesus Christ,” you swear. And you do so again when you return to the farmhouse to find Rose already storming out to find you. Apparently someone had told her you and Yeosang were hanging out on the trampoline. There’s a look in her eyes that you’re not sure you ever want to see in anyone’s eyes ever again. It speaks of all-consuming anger. “Rose-“ you start. And that’s also where you end. She didn’t even take the time or effort to talk it out. Her first reaction was violence.
You had always jealously compared Rose’s visuals to that of an angel, but the way she lashed out at you proved she was all but that. “You slut!” she shrieked, her nails finding a hold in your skin. You barely felt the pain as she raked her nails down your face. You had never thought of yourself as a violent person, but you also weren’t the person to back down from someone attacking you like this. Your pent up frustrations were threatening to spill out of you in a violent manner, but before you could do much damage to her, Mingi’s strong arms wrapped around you, picking you up as if you weighed absolutely nothing, carrying you away as Jongho did the same to Rose, who was now clawing at him.
Mingi set you down on the countertop of the downstairs bathroom, checking you for injuries like the worried big brother he always acts like towards you. “You’re bleeding.” He grabbed tissues for you to hold against the wound, as if that would help much. Silly, hungover Mingi.
“She has sharp nails,” you said, wincing as you pressed the tissues against the marks.
Wooyoung came storming in, carrying a white box with a red cross on it. “First aid!” he said, to which Mingi nodded and left. You bet he knew why Rose had got violent with you too. “I didn’t know she was going to do that,” Wooyoung said, opening up the first aid kit.
“It’s fine,” you said. “Did I at least fight her off a little bit?”
He laughed. “God, that that’s the first thing you’re thinking about… Here, you’re bleeding.” He got to work, cleaning up the scratches Rose’s nails left behind on your face and arm. His fingers were soft on your skin, leaving behind a trail of heat. Even though you hadn’t known him to be very skilled with cleaning up wounds and bandaging up injuries, he was doing quite a good job. Better than Mingi would have done, had this been his job to do. “And the way you stood your ground was pretty hot, Y/N.”
You chuckled. “You’re just saying that.” You looked at Wooyoung as he took expert care of you, the tip of his tongue sticking out of his mouth in concentration, a habit you had always loved about him. You realized suddenly how blind you had been all along not to notice him, or his love for you. You had never actively fantasized about Wooyoung in a sexual way, although you had sometimes wondered what it would be like to have a romantic relationship with him. In your mind it had never worked out, whereas a relationship with San would seem the most plausible. He had always been the one boy you thought you would end up with, if it was going to be anyone out of the friend group. Everyone had known each other for varying lengths and with different intensities, something which had never lead you to believe that you and Wooyoung would be a good match.
“What are you looking at?” Wooyoung asked, chuckling, throwing away the stuff he had used to clean and bandage your wound.
“You,” you said, no trace of shyness.
“Like what you see?” Wooyoung wiggled his eyebrows, his classic playfulness erasing what you had felt over the past couple of days, leaving only behind what you had always thought to be simple, platonic feelings for your best friend. But now you knew it was more.
You shrugged. “I think you could do better, but this’ll have to do.” You stuck out your feet, wrapping your legs around him and pulling him closer. “Thanks for stitching me up.”
“I’m sorry about Rose,” he said, his arms coming to rest around your waist. “Take the same car as me back?”
“So you can finger me in the backseat while no one notices?” You chuckled at the surprise on his face. Must be due to your sudden dirty mouth. “No, thanks. I’ll ride with Yunho and Jongho. But maybe we can see each other when we get back? Get lunch, or dinner… Go out on a real date…”
“A real date.” Wooyoung nodded. “Sounds wonderful.”
Alternative scene
How the ‘morning after’ would have had gone, had I decided to stick with the shower Woosan x reader threesome I had originally planned to happen after the initial Wooyoung x reader sex scene
The room smells. Of what you’re not entirely sure, but it’s sour and makes your nose crunch up as you slowly open your eyes, only to find Wooyoung next to you. His dark brown hair was curling up at the ends and his mouth was slightly open, his chest bare. You had managed to wrap most of the blankets around yourself, leaving Wooyoung uncovered. Not just his chest was bare. You draped the blankets over him and in the process, noticed you were only wearing a T-shirt. That’s it. Just a T-shirt. When you glance underneath the covers, you see it’s Woo’s, one you got together while he was shopping for his First Date T-Shirt, nearly 4 years ago now. You smiled to yourself at the memory and turned onto your back.
That’s when you realize that it wasn’t just you and Wooyoung in the room. “San!” You pull up the covers again to cover yourself, even though there’s no bit of you left uncovered. He’s casually resting on his bed, eyes trained on you and Wooyoung in the bed.
“Good morning. What a coincidence I catch you here. Morning, Woo.”
“San,” Wooyoung groans out from next to you. He seems utterly unfazed to see you laying next to him. He must know you’re wearing nothing but his T-shirt. You also reckon San must know what has happened between you and Wooyoung. “Aren’t you supposed to complain about your headache?”
“I think throwing up prevented my headache,” San said, pointing at a bucket at his side of the room, standing half under half next to his bed. You guessed that was what the sour smell was all about. “Aren’t you two supposed to be even a little bit ashamed that you two had steamy, hot sex while I was literally in the same room with you?”
“I just seized the opportunity,” Wooyoung said, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you against him. “And you were asleep.”
“Apparently not,” San said. “I was miserable, though. Maybe next time you decide to fuck each other again, you could invite me.”
“Oh, shut up,” you said, hiding your face in Woo’s chest. This is really just way worse than seeing San and Alice kissing on the edge of the swimming pool or Wooyoung fingering Rose while you’re in the shower. This is humiliation of a different kind.
“Why were you actually listening to us?” Wooyoung said.
San shrugged. “Like I said, I was miserable. Couldn’t sleep, especially not with those sounds. Disgusting. What would Rose say?” That remark landed him with Wooyoung’s pillow in his face. “Okay, yes, that was slightly mean. Sorry. Will it make you feel better if I say it was kind of hot though? Like, I don’t know what you did that made Y/N go like-“ He made a noise that landed him with your pillow in his face. “Okay, yes, shouldn’t have said that. But! Promise me next time you won’t let me get so drunk I won’t be able to join in, yeah?”
“Would you actually want to join?” you said. You weren’t sure if you were completely disgusted by this morning conversation with San, or if you were getting turned on again. You also weren’t entirely sure if you would have had Wooyoung pin you down underneath him if you had known San was in the bed opposite.
“Could be hot,” Woo said.
“Honestly, it’s been on my to-do list,” San said. “A threesome with someone who claims himself to be a sex god and also the hottest girl from high school? I wouldn’t say no to that.”
“You tell others you’re a sex god?” you laughed at Wooyoung who turned a suspicious shade of pink.
#wooyoung x reader#wooyoung imagine#wooyoung smut#yeosang x reader#yeosang imagine#yeosang smut#san x reader#san imagine#san smut#kpop x reader#kpop imagine#kpop smut#ateez x reader#ateez imagine#ateez smut#my writing
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ok ok alriiiight ok so the plot of ATDAO
this post is not, like........... well, it’s not gonna be a blurb or a summary or a nice neat synopsis, this is not Professional Writeblr Business, this is, this is, uhhhh
this is like drunk house party logan rambles
works best if you imagine ur just like “hey man how’s it going” super casual and I grasp you firmly by the shoulders and look you dead in the eye and just ramble all of this without taking a single breath
could I have explained in a nice neat concise "elevator pitch" sort of way? probably. mind ur business. that’s not how we do things here at albatris.org
anyway the purpose of this post is “hey people seem to know a lot about the characters and the worldbuilding and the premise but have no clue what happens in the actual story” so I’m not going to be talking about said characters and worldbuilding and premise in depth
in terms of rambles, that stuff’s been covered! this post assumes you know what Ports are, n what the nature of the ATDAO apocalypse is, vaguely what the MCs are like as people......... though I can fetch this info for you if you like
but yeah if you are coming into this post with zero prior ATDAO knowledge........... deeply deeply from the bottom of my heart: sorry
also if this is your first time experiencing One Of These Rambles
also @safe-in-the-steep-cliffs and @siarven I am tagging you because you said you would like to be tagged and also hi and also I hope y’all knew what you were in for
anyway without further ado
(visual representation of my approach to this rant, not of how complicated my plot actually is)
(my plot is not that complicated)
ALRIGHT
there are two viewpoint characters! and two plotlines which converge near the end of the story, but honestly there’s a very real possibility I will decide these are two separate books meant as companion stories to each other because I love making things difficult for myself yeehaw
ATDAO’s co-protags are Tris and Noa, best buds four years and counting. their friendship is one of the single most important aspects of the story, n the ongoing love and trust they have for each other despite the way unfolding events force their relationship to change is integral to the themes and making the heart of the story what it is. I will now proceed to not mention this friendship for the entire remainder of this post. they’re bros. that’s all u need to know. listen. listen. I have a lot to cover
so yeah, ur first key player is Tris Greer, whose parents are dicks but whose siblings are chill. most notably of said siblings there is Jacob, older brother by thirteen years, whom Tris believes is just about the coolest person on the entire planet. this plotline kicks off when Jacob gets caught in the midst of a freak car accident that kills a dude and wrecks a street corner and also somehow causes Jacob to just kind of................. blip out of existence entirely and without a trace?
n Tris is understandably horrified and distressed by Very Much All Of This, but hey, at least there are responsible adults who can look into this obviously Port-related weird disappearance and figure this mess out, right?
INCORRECT
the relevant interdimensional authorities are brought in to suss out the situation and these authorities are kind of like “hmmmm idk about this” but are all set to take Tris at least somewhat seriously until they learn the following:
that Jacob had already been reported missing to police in his home state three days earlier
that Jacob was in the midst of several ongoing personal crises and at least one nervous breakdown
that Jacob was allegedly tangled up in some real weird shit that would more than account for a disappearance under suspicious circumstances
that Tris is schizophrenic, prone to hallucinations, confusion, memory issues and quote unquote “letting his imagination and anxiety get the better of him”, and precisely zero people can actually corroborate his story that Jacob was even there are the time of the accident to begin with
and after some back-and-forth and Looking Into The Evidence pretty much everyone in any position of authority comes to the conclusion that this is just Ordinary Regular People Crimes and whatever happened to Jacob had nothing to do with weird apocalyptic energies, and that Tris is (at best) stressed out and delusional or (at worst) lying through his teeth because he knows more than he’s letting on
so Tris is forced to hop pretty quick from “I’m sure someone will handle this” to “no one believes me but I’m sure if I can find some concrete proof they’ll listen and someone will handle it” to Well Fuck I Guess That Someone Is Me
cue bizarre reality-hopping fantasy quest, which is ten times easier said than done when most of the time Tris is terrified enough just, like, going to the supermarket
he enlists the help of his new classmate Shara, amateur paranormal investigator and professional weird-bullshit enthusiast, who agrees to help him puzzle out what the fuck happened to Jacob in exchange for his assistance in mapping out Adelaide’s interdimensional “fault lines” as part of her ongoing quest to track down the source of the apocalypse
she’s got big fuckin dreams, ok, go hard or go home
slso worth noting at this point that there HAS been an uptick in Ports and their related reality-bending strangeness in Adelaide recently which is why this is of particular interest to her currently. gotta find out What Makes The Weirdness Tick, gotta find out Why The Sudden Extra Weirdness
..........and also Kai is there
Kai has no nice neat reason to get involved with the plot, Kai just likes drama and being all up in people’s personal business. Tris brings them on board for one single afternoon like “hey I will pay you some money to come to my house and fix my fucked up phone so I can listen to an interdimensional voicemail” but forgot the apparently key addendum “and then leave”
their first three chapters of knowing each other is basically Tris being like “stop inviting yourself into my house we are not friends” and Kai being like “that’s a rude thing to say to your friend. also your sister gave me the netflix password and I used your kitchen to bake pastries feel free to help yourself”
but yeah so Tris’s story mostly focuses on his quest to figure out where Jacob got yeeted to and how to get him safely home (y’all probably know a bit about The Unreality already maybe?), whilst also dealing with rising family tensions, whatever shifty stuff Jacob was involved with prior to his disappearance, and his own creeping doubts about his perceptions of reality
n I’m also saying flat out it’s not a plot that’s going the “oh the whole thing was just a delusion all along” route because ew
his psychosis is a fairly involved part of his character but the explorations around it are more to do with, like......... the difficulties he has in trusting himself and whether he has the luxury of letting himself get swept into some Big Weird Implausible Adventure when this has extremely different implications for him than it would someone else. n eventually to how his success and survival is not ~in spite of~ but specifically because of the different way he understands and interprets the world and the skills he’s developed
THAT TANGENT WAS A PERSONAL RANT IT WAS NOT RELEVANT I just have words to say on the subject of how psychosis is treated in fiction and didn’t want people jumping to the “none of it is real” conclusion anyway ok moving on
ur SECOND key player is Noa Yun, who has rather a lot on her plate right now. she’s broke as fuck and her mum is sick and her car is making Noises and she’s not getting enough hours at her job at Not-IKEA and everyone is on her back about her failing studies as if that’s a thing she has the energy to care about. feeling rather backed into a corner by life’s bullshit and her financial situation, she blatantly lies her way into a field job at the Department of Interdimensional Instabilities, because A) surely it can’t be THAT bad, and B) what does she have to lose?
so more or less what she’s doing is the equivalent of emergency services for Port-related weirdness, it’s going out and dealing with highly unstable otherworldly energies head on, navigating Weird Phenomena and bendy patches in reality......... it is, among other things, a job that’s relatively easy to get into because no one wants to touch it with a ten foot pole unless they absolutely have to
n the DII is a whole other post, this shit has lots of different functions and levels and branches and corruption and secrets and a tendency to view workers who have to go out and deal with the brunt of the apocalypse head-on as vaguely expendable and I’ve talked about it a bit before and in more Serious Words
things kinda kick off for her when in true Noa fashion she hurls herself into a dangerous situation to help out a coworker, n enters a pretty standard issue “overlap” where the barriers between universes are a little fucky, but hey, she seems to come out of it with nary a scratch, so it’s reasonable to assume everything is fine, right?
INCORRECT AGAIN
she basically gets some whacked-out otherworldly energies latched onto her that are now following her through her everyday life, and it turns out she’s starting to bend the reality around her the way certain types of Ports do, which is! obviously not ideal! she’s not exactly a Port herself, because she’s pretty sure that’s impossible, but it’s clear capital s Something happened to her in that overlap, and she doubts it’s good news. and to make matters even more disconcerting, she’s now being dogged at every step by strange visions of a child who speaks in an unfamiliar language and who seems Real Fuckin Pissed at her
so her thing is basically “I acquired fucked up reality-bending powers against my will and they might be lowkey killing me ‘cause Ports are notoriously unstable like that and also I’m haunted for some godforsaken reason” which all somehow ended up being, like, the least interesting part of her plotline for me lmao
oh and Noa also enlists the help of Shara, Because Ghosts
anyway yeah so her search to find out what’s happening to her re: Weird Children, being a Port-adjacent something-or-other, and whether there’s a way to stop her own unravelling leads her to (rogue computer programmer? mad scientist? general shifty bastard?) Laurence Marrick Thiele, who claims to have suffered a similar affliction in the past and now does some real interesting research on the subject. n this guy. well. he’s got some fuckin stuff going on
he definitely knows more about the nature of Ports than he should. also is he actually researching what he says he’s researching? also what’s with all the weird tech? also did he just straight up murder that guy Avery? all will be revealed later, maybe, if I feel like it
but yeah at about the same time as Noa goes “actually fuck this you’re shady as hell I’m out” she stumbles into, like, The Actual Reality of what Marrick is up to re: manipulating Ports and interdimensional doorways for his own gain, and the various ways this spells bad news not only for her but potentially for the entire city and anyone unfortunate enough to get caught in the crossfire, and she shifts gear to “actually you know what I’m gonna kick your ass”
there are various reasons for this, but first and foremosterly you have to understand that Noa’s got a fuckload of pent-up rage and she will bring it in full force the moment you say some stupid shit like “some people are expendable” or “it’s inevitable for the greater good”
(there’s also a fun ongoing subplot with her work at the DII where she and her team are investigating a string of strange illnesses with bizarre symptoms that appear to be spreading via obscure radio stations so that’s. happening. I guess?)
but yeah the main story here mostly follows Noa’s attempts to undermine Marrick, bastard supreme, and find a way to fuck him up before he goes, like, Full Cartoon Supervillain, n also like........... her attempts to keep up her work at the DII despite her rising paranoia that the teammates she’s growing to care about will notice her increasingly unstable state and the fact that she’s all tangled up with the very forces they’re meant to be thwarting. n along the way discovering the reality of what happened to her in The Aforementioned Overlap Incident and about her visions and such
so that’s all that. did that make sense
n she’s got a whole arc going on about trust and learning to lean on others, like, she comes into this story as a very standoffish person with lots of paranoia, she’s spent much of her life feeling like she can only rely on herself, n she’s. well. yeah, like I said, she’s got a lot of anger at the world and at the various systems that have failed her and her loved ones, n the story puts her in a position to become even more isolated
and her plotline isn’t so much “you have no reason to be angry or afraid” or her learning to Not Be, It’s more, like........... yeah you have every fucking right to be furious and of course you’re afraid! but there are people around you who love you and who will jump at the chance to defend you and who will help you carry the weight of your anger and grief and none of this needs to be yours to bear alone which is extremely cheesy
which applies to both her Weird Supernatural Goings-On as well as her regular ordinary life goings-on
I feel like Alice and Jet deserve a mention for Noa’s plotline but also this went on and on too long already so. well. Alice and Jet exist! yep. they work with Noa at the DII. I have things to say about them. I will not be saying them today
and uhhhhhh
in general, for Tris, his plotline, you wanna think, like, fantasy/adventure vibes which veer pretty sharply into horror, and for Noa you wanna think...... kinda, sci-fi mystery conspiracy vibes with a dash of some superhero bullshit maybe except not really
and that
pretty much is it I think
also the fact that Kai just invites themself into the plot for funsies and then is dragged kicking and screaming into caring about themself and making positive changes in their life means there was no convenient place in this post to be like
"oh there's also a whole major subplot about a time loop"
but there's also a whole major subplot about a time loop
goodnight! thanks for coming to....................... whatever this was! have a nice saturday everyone
#alcohol mention#just in the first little intro bit#being concise is not my strong suit! this should be apparent perhaps#tl;dr#tris's brother jacob gets lost down the back of an interdimensional sofa and tris has gotta go get him back even though#he's terrified enough just leaving the house let alone leaving this entire reality on a stupid convoluted mystery quest#and noa has a run in with some interdimensional bullshit and acquires Powers and A Ghost neither of which she wants#and then accidentally uncovers the schemes of literal cartoon supervillain marrick and is like#''oh sick i was looking for a reason to go absolutely fuckin ballistic and fuck someone's shit up''#And Both Of Them Make Nice Friends And Learn To Love Themselves :)#atdao#i constantly walk the very fine line between not wanting to be Too Vague about noa's plotline vs not wanting to be Too Spoilery about it#like............... the stuff about the kid and about marrick's endgame i'm never quite sure how much to delve into hahahaha#but yeah anyway#imo i only went on ONE mildly unrelated tangent which should have been cut but i decided to indulge it instead#which is the couple paragraphs about noa's character arc#character arcs not important for this post!!!!!! but also. dfkhgkdfjshg. try and stop me#(i mean i did pretty ok staying on track for the most part i think)#(still a rambly post though)
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(Disclaimer: this contains spoilers for the Fruits Basket and Fruits Basket: Another manga, as well as taking into consideration tidbits from Takaya’s twitter.)
So, okay, first of all we have to address the YMMV aspect: Some people don’t like this ship. As long as they’re respectful, I have no beef with that. I’m well aware that some people cannot/choose not to make the distinction between “real life” and “fiction”— I have the luxury of this choice, so some of the “problematic” ships/character aspects within Furuba don’t bother me (for the most part). It’s fiction, and I’m aware of this.
Again, some people cannot/do not make this distinction, and that’s none of my business because that’s their personal life. I’m aware that people dislike aspects of Akigure, and that’s fine.
Personally? I’ve been reading Furuba since like, basically the dawn of time. I was reading scans on, like, MSN groups. I remember a friend at church (of all places) telling me about the Akito reveal because I was behind on updates. It’s literally engrained upon my shipping heart at this point.
(Headcanons ahoy! Like literally, this is all headcanon/my perspective on the series as a whole. YMMV/YKINMK/Dead Dove, the whole works, if you know you know
YES I wrote it like it’s an actual research paper because I have No Chill At All, please forgive me. It’s long and pretty rambling.)
Addressing the first elephant in the room: Given my limited interactions with the fandom, my impression of Akigure from a generalized fan POV is that it’s pretty divisive. Every episode she comes up there are “I hate this kid” comments and I cry
Akito is a favorite of mine, and it’s impossible for anime-only’s to make a deep, informed call on her character. On the other hand, a lot of manga-readers dislike her too.
So, why am I talking about whether or not people like Akito as a character?
I’m of the opinion that it impacts people’s ability to view her character arc as one that deserves a happy ending. That she doesn’t deserve to have love, happiness, or forgiveness, all of which are given to her when she and Shigure finally end up together on equal footing.
(Do I think the way it’s rushed in the original Furuba ending? Yeah, but hey. Sensei had like a huge ensemble cast to wrap ends on. Now there’s Furubana to look to and it’s just chef’s kiss.)
There’s a mental aspect in this, involving the dichotomy between “reality” and “fiction”.
There is absolutely zero argument that are a lot of things that Akito does that uh, listen, if it was IRL she’d be in jail! Jail for terror baby! Jail for life!
Fortunately, Fruits Basket is a work of fiction. These characters aren’t real, they’re idealized brushstrokes of human nature created to move a plot and a message along.
That’s why Akito and Shigure work as a couple and as characters:
They’re both incredibly deep characters that get passed off as one-dimensional by a lot of people (and the original anime, woof). Some of it is again, because anime-only fans just don’t have the whole story, since Akito’s arc is one that builds gradually until it hits a point where all hell breaks loose, which we are a ways away from.
So what’s the message that their relationship and characters are supposed to pass on?
Well, it breaks down into two categories: world building and thematic arcs. The latter is more important and what I’ll be focusing on, while the former is just a little spice that I, personally enjoy, and won’t really talk about in depth. (It’s that the magical realism in Furuba sets up the idea of soulmates, it’s just…. Something I enjoy and it’s really heacanony, so I can’t really justify spending more words on it!)
When discussing Fruits Baskets in any capacity, I feel like we must first keep in mind the thematic “lessons” of the series:
There is an inherent loneliness in living as a human being, since loss, grief, and hurt are indelible parts of the human experience, and learning to cope with these feelings in a compassionate manner is a life-long lesson
People react differently to the loneliness of existence, and their reactions are based upon their personalities, their upbringings, and their own choices
Everyone is capable of change and learning, if they choose to do so, however:
Personal agency is taught, but in the vacuum of positive reinforcement, the ability of a person to choose to be compassionate is stifled or outright inaccessible
Therefore, if you are not taught to deal with your grief and existence outside of others, your ability to connect may become warped, manipulative, or abusive, and this is not the fault of the child but instead the parental figure
Eventually, you will be aware of your actions, and then it is your burden to choose—some people do not take this choice (the head maid, Ren, Kyo’s bio dad, Rin’s parents, Sawa’s mother in Furubana)
Abuse has long lasting effects on the psyche and can be physical, emotional, and/or mental in nature and must be dealt with in order to grow as a person
“Dealt with” does not mean that it goes away, but that it is acknowledged and given a positive outlet (Yuki’s garden, Aaya’s shop, Rin’s art, Momiji’s violin playing)
Forgiveness is not linear
Forgiving yourself is a long and arduous process, and happens independent of other people’s forgiveness
This is really brought to the forefront in Fruits Basket: Another, when Shiki talks about how his mother interacts with the rest of the Sohma family. It’s shown she’s done what she can to make amends, but recognizes that while she can individually hold relationships with certain family members, as a whole, it's best if she allows them to be away from her.
This is a whole tangent on its own, but there’s a certain blanket of casual forgiveness given to Akito by the entirety of the shown Zodiac in Furubana, in that they trust that she’s raised a kind and thoughtful son and allow him the grace of his own family.
Again, in Takaya’s tweets post-series that acknowledges that Akito’s friends with Uo-chan, despite her relationship with Kureno (and it shows a depth of awareness on Kureno’s part that he stays away
People flourish in environments where love and positive reinforcement is given freely, even when people are in the wrong
This doesn’t mean that no one is ever scolded: see Komaki and Kakeru, Kisa and Hiro, Hatori chews out Shigure all the time, but never ceases being his confidant
So okay, that’s A Lot. But every single character in Furuba follows these themes in their own manner, because the series is about healing and learning how to heal from abuse, neglect, and isolation. Someone’s gonna have to be doing it. Point blank, the end, to tell a story there must be conflict, and boy howdy, there’s a lot of conflict in Furuba. Every personal thematic arc in the series ends up tying into a romantic one, because Furuba is a romcom drama.
There’s a loop that goes “personal betterment”->”crush”/”friendship”->”conflict”->”personal growth”/”relationship growth” in the series for every character. That’s the bread and butter of Furuba.
But anyway. To the question:
I love them because they work, they’re both their own people with their own narrative focuses, motivations, conflicts, and flaws. Both Shigure and Akito are believable in their own right in the context of Furuba, and I think Takaya did wonderfully in crafting a story where their personalities mesh well and give each other reasons to better themselves.
To talk about them together, you have to talk about them separately.
I’m gonna start with Shigure because, truthfully?
I just want to lament about how often he’s simply passed off as either comic relief or absolute trash. He’s so underestimated!
“He’s a joke of a grown man… He is reliable and I trust him.” (Another, v. 3)
He’s incredibly intelligent when it comes to interpersonal relationships, which is why he’s able to do what he does. He’s also incredibly kind—no one made him take in Yuki or Kyo or Tohru. He could have just went “ah, I’d prefer not to” and moved on. But he didn’t, made up some bullshit so Haru would feel like taking in Yuki was a transaction, and let me just tell you, I am the same age as Shigure and if you gave ME three teenagers to be the guardian of?! It would be a full on disaster.
He’s actually incredibly trustworthy (if he wants to be), insightful, and a genuinely good guardian despite his jokes and wisecracking.
He forced Kyo to go back to school, knowing full well it would be good for him. He lets a whole host of children run rampant through his home. Kids who actually enjoy his presence. He’s shown as having a good familial relationship with Rin (who tries to warp that for her own means), Kisa, Haru, and Momiji. His advice to Tohru is genuine, insightful, and ridiculously helpful.
Shigure is good with people. He gets up at the crack of dawn to drive Shiki to see Sawa in Furubana. He’s who Mutsuki and Hajime immediately go “holy shit you need to do something about this” to when they find out Shiki’s getting nasty notes about Akito. He’s who Shiki goes to when Sawa fell down the stairs as a child. As much as Shiki and the others make fun of Shigure, he’s obviously someone who’s trustworthy. And that’s not some new development, he’s always been trustworthy in regards to those he loves. No one asked him to show up to Tohru’s teacher conference, he volunteered. Like this dude loves people, he’s the dog spirit after all, and rightly so.
Does he have his own motivations? Of course! But so does everyone else in Furuba. He’s a complex character, man!
He laughs and jokes a lot because he’s projecting this image of a laid back, doofus. When you think about who he’s friends with, the whole middling goofball act makes a lot of sense. Just like some of Ayame’s over the top behavior is a defense mechanism, I believe that Shigure casts himself as a generally unappealing man to keep himself safe from advances when he was in school, but also to temper the wildly unequal personalities of his other two friends. He’s the sort of person who would just go “eh, whatever makes it easy”, and that’s just how he is.
He doesn’t mean the creepy school girl thing, it’s a bit and I think the only people who don’t realize he’s running a bit are Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru who are absolutely too stupid to realize he’s playing them for reactions. He thinks it’s funny.
Anyway:
When the older Zodiac had the dream of Shigure, Shigure is the only one who made the active choice to seek out that feeling. His soul was touched, and he decided that he wanted that and only that. This doesn’t necessarily mean he went full Jacob from Breaking Dawn, but it does mean he acknowledged there was a bond, and he wanted it.
When you get into the technicalities of the curse, it’s mentioned that their Zodiac spirits influence how they interact with Akito, and that going against her can cause physical and emotional pain. Yuki cries when meeting her, and it’s mentioned that that’s just the normal reaction for the Zodiacs.
It’s hard to say how much of their early interactions are influenced by the curse, but it’s obvious that Shigure has genuine fondness for her. She wasn’t always absolutely broken, as shown in Yuki’s backstory, and was a precocious child, one who sought affection openly.
Shigure has an indulgent personality, and is shown to love being adored. Guess who loves him! Akito! Guess who wants lots and lots of affection! Akito!
Their personalities are very well matched as they get older: They’re both intelligent and coy. They both have fairly sharp tongues when needed, and have no qualms about doing whatever it takes to get what they want.
Shigure wants Akito to be independent from the curse. He’s made it clear to her he doesn’t want to be her father, he doesn’t want to be her friend, he wants to be her lover. Those are boundaries that Akito’s never been given before, and his frankness with her and his jealousy with Kureno is something she agonizes over, simply because she’s never been given any sort of serious interpersonal boundaries, or repercussions for her actions. He’s always kept himself separate from her, because of those boundaries, even when they were children.
That’s important. It opens the door to the idea that her actions have consequences, and is a persistent nagging in the back of her mind.
“Even though you hadn’t realized it, I was waiting for that day.” (ch 101)
For the bulk of the series, the only person who sees Akito as a person separate from the curse, and sees a future where she can grow is Akito. He has an extraordinary amount of patience for her, and forgives her for a lot.
There are only two incidents that Shigure cannot forgive: Her sleeping with Kureno, and at the very end of the series, I’m of the full opinion that if Akito had pushed Tohru off the cliff, Shigure would have been done with her. Look at that expression, that is the look of someone who is toeing the line of throwing away all his hopes and dreams. If she really had pushed Tohru, I just...... The series would have taken a much darker tone.
OKAY that’s enough about our favorite terrible author! (Okay, an aside, Shigure, please share your work ethic, you goof off so much but you’ve published so many things…how…)
ONTO AKITO!
“I’ve finally realized… she hated her own shallowness all this time, from the very start.” // “It’s frightening because you have no choices.” (ch 121)
A lot of people dislike Akito because she, for the bulk of the manga, is violent, manipulative and just downright unpleasant. And that’s fine, but it’s not the point of her arc or the themes of the manga. (It is, however, the point of Rin’s: you don’t have to forgive everyone.)
She’s not the only violent person in the series. If we as readers can forgive Uo-chan and Kyoko, or even Hana-chan for her moment of violence, why can we not extend the same grace to Akito?
Violence is often shown as a knee-jerk reaction to fear and sadness: Kyoko, Uo, Hana, Kyo, Rin, and Akito all react violently to negative situations and feelings. Even Kisa reacts violently when she’s at her worst, biting both Haru and Tohru when she’s in her tiger form, which is shown to actually cause pain like a real tiger would. (It’s played for laughs, but has anyone been bitten for realsies by a house cat? That hurts! How much more would a house-cat sized tiger hurt!!!)
Out of all of them, Hanajima and Kisa are the only characters to show immediate remorse, because they have what the others don’t: A positive support system. Once positive role models and support systems are in place, all of the others begin to learn how to react differently and ease out of the knee-jerk reactions that were ingrained in them.
It’s made explicit in the manga that you have to be taught how to react positively, you have to learn and choose to be good, to be friendly, to love yourself outside of others’ perceptions of yourself. Look at Yuki’s arc. Look at Uo-chan’s. Kyoko’s.
Yuki sums it up nicely in the last chapter of the manga, where he tells Tohru that she taught the Zodiac how to become human. She allows them to grow into people who can make the choice to be loving, compassionate individuals.
Just because Akito doesn’t interact positively with Tohru for the bulk of the manga, it doesn’t make it any less true:
Akito is kept in a juvenile state of being: No one teaches her to suck it up, that the world exists outside of herself, that other people are people and not things. In fact, she’s actively encouraged to act the way she does. She’s incredibly broken, between the maids of the Sohma estate just… allowing her to do whatever the fuck she wants and her absolutely jacked up relationship with Ren and Akira. She has no moral compass at all. No one bothers to teach her that her actions have serious consequences.
She knows, in a roundabout way that hey, these people don’t like me. There’s a serious mental dissonance between what she latently knows—these are all people with no connection to her other than the bond of the curse. This is why Tohru is able to break through to her at the climax of the manga:
She knows she’s wrong, but no one has ever told her she’s wrong but understood why she’s doing it. Akito just didn’t have the words to explain herself. What do children do when they cannot communicate? They lash out. Kids will bite, scratch, yell, kick, fall to the floor and have screaming tantrums out of frustration. Eventually, most kids learn that there are other ways to express frustration, and move along. (Not all, though, but most.)
Akito was taught that this is acceptable, allowable, and is her right as god. She is actively broken and kept that way through the neglect of the Sohma family maids, Ren’s abuse, and how Akira framed her role in the Zodiac.
I can go on and on and on and on why the way Akito was treated for her role in the Zodiac by her parents and the rest of the Sohma estate was just awful. I hate it, it’s terrible, she never had a chance to learn and grow and be the genuinely thoughtful woman we know she grows into.
She doesn’t force her path of forgiveness onto others and is fully cognizant of what she did, the repercussions of her actions, and lives her entire life after the curse breaks trying to right what she did wrong.
“Even if she gets hurt, she says she deserves it. She tells me not to let it bother me, but… I’ve always, always loved her so much.” (Another, ch. 13)
Tohru opens the door for Akito. She extends her hand, offers her friendship despite having seen the absolute worst of Akito. She tells Akito that everyone is lonely, everyone wants bonds, and acknowledges Akito’s worst fears, that Akito herself is selfish and dirty for wanting something assured and unending because she, Tohru, herself is dirty and selfish. Tohru knows what Akito has done, knows she’s injured some of her beloved friends, had plans to lock up Kyo, hurt Hatori.
Tohru still forgives her. One of Tohru’s striking traits in the manga is that she is suffering, every day, she struggles with the grief of losing her mother and the fear of being alone in the world. Through nothing but her own empathy and realization that loneliness is universal, she’s able to forgive people. She forgives Akito and cares for her, and through Tohru, Akito is introduced to the realization that she’s been wrong and that maybe, she shouldn’t be forgiven.
Shigure also forgives her, and this is the crux of their ship.
To me, that itself is wildly important.
They’ve always circled around each other, and Shigure has always been waiting for Akito to be able to come to him again, in full control of her life and choices. He wants Akito the woman, not Akito the god.
He’s been waiting for the day Akito can meet him as an equal. Akito wants it too, and has wanted him to turn and see her for a very very long time. But she’s been terrified, the entire time, that when he does see her as herself, Shigure won’t like what he sees, and will leave. She’s aware of what she’s done post-curse, she’s aware of the impacts it will have on the former Zodiac members, and she’s aware that once the “bonds” of god and the animals is gone, there may not be anyone left for her.
Neither of them are under any illusions at the end of the series: Akito knows she has to atone for what she did, Shigure knows she has to learn to grow into a person who can function alone. They both know that there are people who are against them changing the oppressive structure of the Sohma family.
Neither of them care. There are things that they want, together, and it’s enough. There’s a whole new world for them to explore and learn about. And in Furubana, this is shown to be a lifelong effort on their parts:
“She said after meeting me, she learned so many things for the first time. She smiled happily as she said it.” (Another, #13)
To close, I’d like to take a moment to talk about the curse and Shigure, and how he set things in motion.
Without Shigure, the curse would have devolved on its own, yes, but the circumstances would not have allowed for the freedom the Zodiac had at the end of the manga. It would not have ended with Akito being able to learn and live freely. Allowing Tohru into the Sohma family cracked open a door to compassion and kindness none of them had ever experienced before, because the Sohma family seems to exist in a vacuum of stability and love.
It wasn’t that Shigure knew instantly that Tohru was kind and loving and thoughtful, if anything, his read on her was “completely normal, albeit strange, teenage girl who obviously has a rough life”. But she was normal, she was from outside the Sohmas, and he knew that was enough. No one in the family was stepping up to change the status quo and how stifling and abusive it was, so he did it himself.
He did it because he loved Akito.
Not because he felt bad for himself, or Hatori, or any of the others, but merely because he loved her to the point of manipulation. It backfired in his face, because he got a big ol’ dose of “loving and respecting” juice from Tohru, but he still got the end he wanted.
What I mean to say is best summarized in chapter 123:
“It would be nice to live in a kind world, without any troubles, without any fear, without hurting anybody, without ever being hurt, only doing the right thing. I wish I could reach this kind world by the shortest path possible. … “That’s wrong”, or “that’s stupid”: If it’s someone else’s life it’s so easy to make such irresponsible comments. ...It would be great, but it doesn’t exist. … Little by little, walking one step at a time, is all you can do.”
We get to experience the roughest part of the path with Akito and Shigure, we got to watch them be terrible people who were lonely and in want of love struggle and learn how to get up and move on.
They tease each other, Shigure is thoughtful of the distinction between “the person Akito was raised to be” and “the person who Akito is”. He’s seen her at her messiest, and she’s seen him at his most jealous. They still chose each other, despite the hurt they caused each other, and others. They make up for it, reflect, and live a life that demonstrates that they have learned. They have friends who are thoughtful and loving and would not hesitate to drop everything and help them, lend an ear when they’re frustrated, help them not to make the same mistakes.
And then we get to see them be wonderful, kind, thoughtful, loving parents in Furubana.
We got to see their adorable, kind, compassionate child be friends with the children of the people Akito hurt, because everyone in the former Zodiac’s family collectively decided “never again, no”.
Their child adores them. Shiki in Furubana #13 radiates love for Akito and Shigure the same way Mutsuki and Hajime do.
They are genuinely good parents, even when they tease Shiki, and I think that is testament for how good they are for each other and how much they’ve changed as adults.
I think that’s enough of a reason to ship them, don’t you?
#Mitkun writes stuff#fruits basket manga spoilers#fruits basket another#fruits basket spoilers#akigure#fruits basket akito#fruits basket shigure
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TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 10 of 26
Title: The Picture of Dorian Gray (1890)
Author: Oscar Wilde
Genre/Tags: Fiction, Gothic Horror, Third-Person, LGBT Protagonist (I... guess)
Rating: 8/10
Date Began: 4/13/2021
Date Finished: 4/20/2021
When artist Basil Hallward paints a picture of the beautiful and innocent Dorian Gray, he believes he’s created his masterpiece. Seeing himself on the canvas, Dorian wishes to remain forever young and beautiful while the portrait ages in his stead. The bargain comes true. While Dorian grows older and descends a path of hedonism and moral corruption, his portrait changes to reflect his true nature while his physical body remains eternally youthful. As his debauchery grows worse, and the portrait warps to reflect his corruption, Dorian’s past begins to catch up to him.
Perhaps one never seems so much at one’s ease as when one has to play a part. Certainly no one looking at Dorian Gray that night could have believed that he had passed through a tragedy as horrible as any tragedy of our age. Those finely-shaped fingers could never have clutched a knife for sin, nor those smiling lips have cried out on God and goodness. He himself could not help wondering at the calm of his demeanour, and for a moment felt keenly the terrible pleasure of a double life.
Full review, some spoilers, and content warnings under the cut.
Content warnings for the book: Misogyny (mostly satirical). Racism and antisemitism (not so much). Emotional manipulation, blackmail, suicide, graphic murder, and death. Recreational drug use.
Reviewing a classic novel through a modern lens is always going to be a challenge for me. The world seems to change a lot every decade, let alone every century—whether some canonized classic holds up today is pretty hit or miss (sorry, English degree). And considering the sheer amount of academic focus on classic texts, it’s not like I’m going to have a “fresh take” on one for a casual review. I read and reviewed The Count of Monte Cristo last year, and thought it aged remarkably well over 170+ years.
Somehow I never read Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray for school. I tried reading it independently in my late teens/early twenties, and honestly think I was just too stupid for it. Needing a shorter read before the next Murderbot book releases at the end of the month, I grabbed Dorian Gray off the shelf and decided to give it another shot. By the end, I was pleasantly surprised how much I liked the book.
I’m actually going to discuss my pain points before I get into what worked for me. The first half of the book is very slow-paced. The Picture of Dorian Gray is famous for… well… the picture. But it isn’t relevant until the halfway point of the novel, when Dorian does something truly reprehensible and finds his image in the picture has changed. There’s a lot of setup before this discovery. The first half of the book has a lot of fluff, with characters talking about stuff that happened off screen, discussing various philosophies, and so on without progressing the story. Some of this is fine, as it establishes Dorian’s initial character so the contrast later is all the more striking. I just think it could have been shorter. I realize this comes down to personal taste.
I’m also torn on the Wilde’s writing style. He’s very clever, and there are many philosophical ideas in his writing that did genuinely made me stop and think. The prose is also beautiful and descriptive; this is especially useful when it contrasts the horror elements of the story. However, there’s a lot of unnatural, long monologue in the story. Not sure if it’s the time period, Wilde’s background as a playwright, or just his writing style in general (maybe all three), but the characters ramble a LOT. My favorite game was trying to imagine how other characters were reacting to a literal wall of text.
I also feel the need to mention this book has some bigoted content, as implied in my content warnings. The misogyny in the story is satirical; it’s spouted by the biggest tool in the book, Lord Henry, whose whole shtick is being paradoxical. You just need basic critical thought to figure that out. However, some things don’t have that excuse. A minor character in the first half is an obvious anti-Semitic caricature. There’s also some pretty racist content, particularly when Wilde describes Gray’s musical instrument collection. While these are small parts of the book, it’d be disingenuous not to acknowledge them.
All that being said, there were many aspects of the book I enjoyed, particularly in the second half. Wilde does a great job characterizing terrible people who fully believe what they say. Lord Henry is an obvious example, and Dorian follows his lead as the story progresses. One of my favorite bits was after Sibyl’s suicide (which Dorian instigated by being a piece of shit). Dorian is initially shocked, but as he and Lord Henry discuss it, they come to the conclusion that her suicide was a good thing because it had thematic merit. It’s just such a brazen, horrible way to alleviate one’s guilt.
Dorian also goes to significant lengths to justify his actions. At one point, he murders Basil to keep the portrait a secret. While he briefly feels guilty about this, Dorian grows angry at the inconvenience of having killed this man, supposedly an old friend. He even separates himself from the situation, expressing that Basil died in such a horrible way. Bro, you killed him! It was you! The cognitive dissonance is just stunning.
It’s also viscerally satisfying to read about Dorian’s downfall as his awful choices catch up to him. Dorian becoming tormented by the portrait is just... *chef’s kiss*. Is it surprising? No, it’s pretty standard Gothic horror fare. But there’s something to be said about seeing a genuinely horrible man finally pay for what he’s done after getting away with it for so long. I wish real life worked that way.
There’s the picture itself, too. I know it’s The Thing most people know about this novel -- but I just think it’s a cool concept. I like the idea of someone’s likeness reflecting their true self, and the psychological effect it has on the subject. Most of the novel is fiction with realistic horror elements, but I like that there’s a touch of the supernatural thanks to Dorian’s picture. It’s an element I wouldn’t mind seeing in more works.
It's sad to read Dorian Gray with the context of what happened to Wilde. The homoeroticism in the novel is obvious, but tame compared to works today. Wilde and this book are a depressing case study in how queer people are simultaneously erased and reviled in recent history. Wilde was tortured for his homosexuality (and died from resulting health complications) over 100 years ago, yet the 1994 edition of Dorian Gray I read refers to his real homosexual relationship as a "close friendship". It's an infuriating and tragic paradox. Things have improved by inches, but we still have so far to go.
As I grow older I find I appreciate classic works more than when I was forced to read them for school. The Picture of Dorian Gray is a gripping Gothic horror story. Some aspects didn't age particularly well, but that's true for almost anything over time. If you're in the market for this kind of book, I do recommend it.
#this review is late but in my defense the nier remake came out#taylor reads#2021 reading challenge#8/10
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The first thing is to do with Amira’s outing of Kasim. I don’t blame Amira for this - I blame the writers. The second is the delicate situation that Amira and Dani find themselves in. Tons of rambling, again.
Is there a realistic, plausible circumstance where she might have outed Kasim in some fashion? Perhaps. I generally tend to thing it’s a bit out of character, but let’s say it could happen. People make mistakes, and that is indeed a Big Mistake. My issue is with the way it was framed.
As many people have pointed out, the moment of her decision to implore Dounia to check on Kasim while he was at home with Lucas was basically tension-free. Dounia wasn’t being angry or wrathful, and her gist of the situation was basically accurate. What did Amira have to gain in that moment by choosing to STILL push Dounia to find Kasim, at that exact time? I mean, by that point Dounia was accepting of Dani and Amira and the tone was mostly conciliatory. Amira could have let bygones be bygones for the sake of the friendship. Case CLOSED.
Instead, Amira’s actions came across as quite vengeful and calculating. Maybe if it had been in the middle of a heated argument - we’ve seen her lose her temper before - and she blurts out more than she should have. She could insist on Dounia confronting Kasim immediately (she’s sick and tired of being used and blamed), and he might be outed as a consequence.
But how about as an unintended consequence of Amira lashing out in anger, instead of totally on purpose? Where Amira thinks again and instantly regrets what she’s done, once she realizes? Not to mention completely neglects to mention Lucas or Kasim in her prayers...don’t even know what that’s about.
Plus, this is after Amira specifically told Lucas he could trust and confide in her. After knowing what Cris went through. I’m just baffled at this choice. I can’t really make it make sense, so I’ll just...ignore it I guess.
Now with Dani and Amira’s relationship. After the conversation she had in the library with Viri and Eva, I was wondering what direction things might take. Amira mentions struggling herself, and that she can’t imagine how bad it is for Dani. She mentions her desire to not ‘pick and choose’ from the rules. Eva emphasizes how big a Sacrifice this must be for Dani, because no guy would bother to do the same for her.
With this things in mind, I thought perhaps Amira might go to one of two extremes. One, she might feel guilty about what Dani is ‘giving up’ to be with her and as a result push herself beyond her established boundaries in terms of physical interaction. I didn’t want that to happen because it’s cliche and reiterates the implication that Amira - just Amira, as Dani himself wrote - isn’t enough. Chaos ensues, and she appears weak in her faith.
Or, she might do the opposite and cut Dani out of things unceremoniously (sort of like what OG Sana did when she found out Yousef was atheist). She wants to stick to the rules she chose, why involve Dani at all? She doesn’t want to be this great temptation or struggle for anyone, so maybe they should quit while they are ahead and keep their own separate paths. Given the friendship that Dani and Amira are supposed to share above all else (this is pointed out in the few interviews I’ve read), this makes her seem cold and uncompromising, that she doesn’t believe Viri’s ‘love can conquer all.’ I’m not interested in that ‘hard, fierce, independent’ stereotype for a WOC character.
Now, after the context of their almost kiss and Amira’s conversation with Nora about the situation, it seems like they’re walking on thin ice with option number one.
The almost kiss itself, I didn’t really have a problem with. They are attracted to each other, things are still new. It will be something they need to focus and work on, if they want a future together - there will be times of uncertainty or weakness. Communication will still be the key. I appreciate that Dani did try to break the tension afterward. I can’t say I fault him for following Amira’s lead in that moment. But he didn’t pursue it or pressure her, or act passive aggressive or disappointed. I can’t take such things for granted.
And, others might disagree with me here, but I don’t know if I’d like him being the one to ‘correct’ Amira in that sense. Like, if she had leaned in and he responded by reminding her of the rules they agreed to or turning away or something. In real life, I think it would be fine for him to do so - if they were in a serious, mature relationship. It’s always important to support your partner and encourage them to be true to themselves, or not to do something they might regret.
But on SKAM (a fictional show about a bunch of kids), I think it would irritate me if Dani was suddenly the morality police who had to chastely rebuff Amira’s advances. To me it would read like Amira lacks conviction or agency or both, or that she’s toying with this poor white boy’s heart. Or it would make him seem like the pure damsel to Amira’s lustful villain lol - IDK, just bad optics.
But, Amira’s conversation with Nora? I didn’t care for it, honestly. I didn’t really understand it. When Amira was talking about her decision to wear the hijab to her mom, it was made very clear that it was just that - her decision. It made sense to her and was right for her. But the way she talked about her relationship with Dani, makes it seem completely different. As though she herself wants the same type of relationship her friends have, and doesn’t see why it might not be the best decision for her personally. I mean, if it was her parents who just forbid it - ‘no kissing boys’ - then her complaints would sound normal, that she would feel it isn’t fair. Because your parents have a lot of control and can enforce seemingly arbitrary rules that you disagree with.
Here, that’s not exactly the situation. Amira told Dani she eventually wants to raise Muslim kids, and her education is her primary focus right now. She genuinely didn’t seem interested, or like she would derive much from, a casual relationship. I’m sure she would like to be physically affectionate with him; I’m not questioning that. But the way she spoke to Nora made it seem like she wasn’t choosing to abstain, like she didn’t agree with it and didn’t understand it.
‘You can do it and I can’t, that’s not fair.’ I mean, anyone can do anything. Isn’t that the point? You’re just trying to be honest with yourself in your own soul when you make your choices. So when Amira says she wonders if it’s all worth it, what does she mean? Not worth dating if you can’t do anything physical? Or not worth refraining from contact if you are dating? If she genuinely sees no harm in kissing Dani, or can do so while having a clean conscience, then what’s stopping her? Is it really just boiling down to ‘rules are rules’ for her?
It’s not that she wouldn’t have doubts, all people do. Just the wording, I don’t know. It didn’t sound so much like Amira as it did someone who follows religion merely by rote, with no thought or heart in it. Then why do it at all? I’m not a very good Muslim by any means, but in my view that is not sustainable.
My wish is that the Dani and Amira relationship succeeds to show that being ‘different’ is still valid, and you can choose to express your feelings with your partner in the right way for you. It doesn’t make it any ‘less’ than anyone else’s relationship and it isn’t wrong or dysfunctional. I don’t think the execution is that great, but I still have hope in the message. I’ve seen more than enough Nadia/Guzman types to last a million lifetimes - for once, can we please have the Muslim character worthy of devotion and romance without changing a thing?
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The Lies We Tell Ourselves, Chapter 3
Fandom: Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist
Title: The Lies We Tell Ourselves
Rating: PG (I’m assuming it’ll stay there?)
Pairing: Zoey/Max
Synopsis: Max would do anything for Zoey. Including posing as her fake boyfriend to give her father one last “big moment” to celebrate with her. Nothing could possibly go wrong. After all, it’s only his heart that stands to be broken. Right?
Chapter: 3/?
Author’s Notes: Takes place after Zoey’s Extraordinary Glitch.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
What would she do without Max? It was a question she’d asked herself several times over the years, but never as often or with as much heartfelt gratitude as over the last few days. He couldn’t heal her father or take away her pain, but he had made her laugh over dinner and offered her silent support and unrelenting strength for the conversation that followed. And when she told him she wanted to spend the weekend alone in her apartment, processing her grief, he didn’t try to convince her to go out and be social. Instead, he spent the weekend sending her ridiculous memes and corny jokes that made her laugh and, for a few minutes at least, took her mind off her sorrow.
She was stepping out of the café, fortifying cup of coffee and lemon poppyseed muffin in hand, when her phone beeped to notify her of an incoming text. Zoey was smiling before she even grabbed her phone, already knowing who it would be. Her smile turned into a snort of laughter when she saw Max pick up their conversation from where they’d left it off the night before.
“I think we really need to get everyone at work in on this because it’s really important to me that you accept that you’re wrong. In fact, you’re so wrong, I’m a little worried about how you could think you were right about this.”
“You’re out of your mind! I’m totally right about this!” she wrote back quickly. “A T-Rex would totally take the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!”
Three ellipses appeared at the bottom of the screen, followed by Max’s response. “A T-Rex is 20 feet tall. Tops. Mr. Stay Puft was 112.5 feet. There’s no competition! One step and it’s over!”
Zoey had to veer to the edge of the sidewalk to perch on a concrete barrier was she typed out her reply. “Did you honestly just Google that?”
She didn’t have to wait long for his response. “Of course I did! This is serious business!”
“Dork.”
A few ellipses briefly showed up at the bottom of the screen, but when they disappeared, no message followed. She continued, “You’re forgetting that, according to Jurassic Park, the T-Rex is so much faster than the marshmallow man. AND he was a finely honed murderbeast. He gets a few lucky bites in on the legs, and it’s over!”
“T-Rex may be faster, but how wide is Stay Puft’s gait?”
She shook her head, looking around to make sure nobody saw the goofy smile on her face as she teased him over text, “I’m surprised you didn’t Google it.”
His response made her laugh out loud. “I tried, but I couldn’t find anything. The geeks of the Internet have really let me down.”
Zoey shot off one last quick text before picking up her coffee and muffin and resuming her walk to work. She was going to be late if she didn’t hurry. “Is this really what you think about in the morning when you’re getting ready for work? It’s a wonder you aren’t late more often.”
“I multitask.” A few minutes later, her phone chirped again. She paused long enough to throw her empty muffin bag into the trash and then read the message on the screen. “Can we at least agree that Godzilla could take both of them?”
“How tall is Godzilla?” she asked, absolutely certain he’d already looked it up.
“164 feet originally. The new Godzilla is about 984 feet tall. And, let’s face it. That’s ridiculous.” He was such an adorable dork.
“Oh, yeah. Totally. And Godzilla would toast them both.”
“Was that a pun? Did you actually just text me a pun??? If we weren’t already fake-dating, I’d fake-ask you out just for that.”
“I couldn’t help myself!”
Her self-satisfied smile morphed into a soft “aww” when she received his next text, with an attached photo. “Also, I saw puppy yesterday and thought of you. It’s in boots. BOOTS!”
Zoey was so distracted by Max’s texts that she was stepping on the elevator leading up to the SPRQ Point offices before she realized she hadn’t thought about her dad’s condition once that morning. She had absolutely no doubt that had been his purpose all along, but he was once again touched by his quiet thoughtfulness.
She was trying to think of the words to text him to express her gratitude when the elevator doors started to slide closed. At the last second, Simon darted through the opening and joined her on the elevator. “Hey,” he greeted her warmly, meeting her eyes briefly before their gazes darted away. “Listen, I was hoping that the two of us could talk. About what happened in my office the other day.”
She shifted her weight, edging away from him as she looked down at her feet and slipped her phone back into her pocket. “Yeah, I know. Look, I know that I made things complicated when I sang to you. I wish I could explain what happened to me that day, but I can’t.” She’d briefly considered telling him about her powers, but she doubted that would help the situation much. If anything, telling him their friendship started after she heard him singing about his sorrow when he was alone in the office would only complicate things. More than she had already. “I know this is going to be hard to believe, particularly given my behavior the other day. But I’m not trying to get between you and Jessica.”
He nodded slowly. “I know, and I appreciate that. I hope I haven’t given you the wrong impression. Ever since I lost my dad, it’s been nice to have someone to talk to who understands what I’ve been going through. You’re a good friend, Zoey. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t,” she reassured him with a smile. “I will always be your friend, Simon. I think we just need time, you know?” Before he could point out the obvious, she winced and let out an apologetic little laugh, trying to cover her embarrassment with a joke. “Okay, I know I said that before, but this time, lap dances are totally off the table. I promise.”
He grinned over at her. “So that’s not something you do with all your friends? That’s a shame.”
“Not really. I was trying something new. I wouldn’t recommend it.” The elevator doors slid open, and she stepped through, expecting that Simon would turn immediately towards his office. Instead, he followed her.
“Can I ask you a question? You and Max. Are the two of you…?”
She hesitated, looking around to make sure they weren’t being overheard. In all honesty, she wasn’t entirely sure what to say. They’d talked about maintaining the fiction for her family, but they’d failed to address whether their lie would carry over into work. Or maybe they’d deliberately avoided it. Either way, she wasn’t sure what she should tell Simon now. She wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted to tell him. “Me and Max?” She glanced around the office, but it appeared she’d beaten Max to the office.
At a loss, she shook her head. “No, we’re friends. Just friends.” But even though she knew it was the truth, the words tasted like a lie. Or a betrayal. She was Max’s boss, so it was entirely possible that their unusual arrangement could cause problems for them at work. It was possible he would prefer to keep it between them. On the other hand, if he didn’t, it would undoubtedly hurt him to know she was denying it – particularly to Simon. “Well, I mean…I guess we’re kind of dating. Maybe?”
His eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Maybe kind of dating? What does that mean?”
Heaving a heavy sigh, she mumbled, “It means…it’s complicated?” If her life was going to continue being so convoluted, she was going to have to find different ways to describe it or quantify it on a sliding scale of difficulty or something. She should buy a thesaurus, at the very least. “The thing is, we haven’t been dating for very long, I guess? And I’m not even sure if that’s how we would describe it! Or that Max would describe it that way. As dating, I mean.” Did it sound too much like she assumed he wouldn’t want to admit it, like she thought he’d be embarrassed by their relationship? She scrambled to recover. Waving one hand helplessly in the air, she blurted, “Or maybe he would! You should ask him.” Wait. What if Simon asked him before she’d had a chance to warn him, and Max panicked and said the wrong thing? “Later. Or not!” For crying out loud, this was getting ridiculous. She had to stop. She was only making it worse.
Simon didn’t seem put off by her ridiculous rambling. “Well, whatever’s going on with you two, he’s a very lucky guy.”
“Thanks,” she told his retreating back as he headed toward his office. She couldn’t waste time reliving her conversation with Simon, picking apart every sentence to torture herself with thoughts of what she should have done differently. She had to catch Max before anything else happened.
She tried to find reasons to casually lurk near the elevators. She was pretending to examine some chipped paint near the baseboard when she saw him enter. “Max!” she hissed, jumping to her feet.
He let out a small yelp of surprise, spinning around to face her. “Zoey! You almost gave me a heart attack!”
She didn’t wait for him to catch his breath. “I need to talk to you. Meet me in the meditation room in five minutes. Act natural! Oh, and don’t talk to anyone.” Without waiting for him to respond, she walked back to her desk, projecting such a forced air of nonchalance that she felt she might as well hold up a neon sign saying she was up to no good.
Still, when she snuck into the meditation room a few minutes later, she found him already waiting for her there. He rushed up to her, framing her shoulders in his hands. “Zoey, what’s going on? Is everything okay?”
“It’s funny you ask me that, because you’re going to have to tell me. The thing is – and I know I should have talk to you about this first – but we have to pretend to be dating here. At work.”
Whatever he’d expected, she could tell by the expression on his face it hadn’t been that. “Okay. I guess that’s…okay.” She saw a line form between his brows as he tried to process the ramifications of what she was saying. “Why? What happened?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and stepped out of his reach, burning off some nervous energy by pacing back and forth. “I kind of panicked when I was talking to Simon this morning.”
“Simon? You told Simon? Why – how did it come up?”
She didn’t even need to look at him to hear the astonishment in his voice. In fact, not looking at him was easier. “He sort of…asked me if there was something going on between us, and I said we were maybe kind of dating.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Max shake his head, as though trying to clear away some mental cobwebs. “Simon asked you if there was something between us. And you told him – Simon – that we were dating,” he reiterated.
Rolling her eyes, Zoey turned on him. “Are you planning on repeating everything I say? Because we don’t have a lot of time before people realize we’re hiding out in here and get suspicious!”
“I seriously doubt anyone has noticed we’re missing,” he reassured her. “And, no, I won’t repeat everything you say. I’m just…processing. Making sure I’m clear about what happened. You know, to make sure I have our story straight.” But he didn’t look like he was overly concerned with nailing down the details. In fact, he looked overjoyed. If she didn’t know any better, she’d swear he was practically glowing from the grin on his face.
Her eyes narrowing in suspicion, she said, “I hope you’re not getting the wrong idea. This doesn’t really change anything.” She remembered how he’d reacted when she’d unwillingly sung him a love song, and she didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. Again.
“I know,” he agreed, a little too readily.
“And you’re okay with keeping up our act here at work? It might cause some problems with Joan.”
His smile didn’t so much as falter. “I can honestly say, whatever happens with Joan, I’m totally fine with it.”
Zoey stared at Max for a long moment, wondering if she should ask why he wasn’t upset that their personal fiction was going to interfere with their professional lives. He seemed to be in an inordinately good mood, given she’d just lobbed a bomb at him. But maybe it was a better idea to leave well enough alone. From his texts throughout the morning, he’d seemed to be in a good mood. Maybe she was just being paranoid.
While she wrestled with whether or not to press him on the issue, he rubbed his hand together and said, “Anyway, I should probably get back to work before I get in trouble with The Boss for goofing off.”
Somewhat reassured that he’d taken the decision out of her hands, she gestured toward the door. “Oh, yeah. We wouldn’t want that! I hear your boss is a real task master!”
“She can be,” he agreed, and though he’d been the one to suggest he take his leave, he lingered by her side. “But I have a soft spot for her anyway.”
He leaned down, and for a second, she could have sworn he was about to kiss her. Her breath caught in her throat and she froze, staring at him with wide eyes as she waited to see what he would do. After a moment’s hesitation, he turned his head and brushed his lips across her cheek. Bewildered by an unexpected sense of disappointment, Zoey didn’t move and found herself entirely unable to speak as she watched him leave, humming merrily to himself as he walked out the door.
She had told Simon about their fake-relationship. She had told Simon about their fake-relationship! Of all people, she had told Simon about their fake-relationship!
Barely able to believe it, he kept repeating the words to himself, over and over. Of course, he knew it didn’t really matter. It certainly didn’t mean anything. It didn’t mean that she might have decided that she wanted to choose love over attraction, after all. It didn’t mean that she would want to pursue a relationship with him at some point. It didn’t even mean that she’d made a decision about what she really wanted. It didn’t mean anything.
But it felt like it meant something – or like it could mean something, at least. It felt like it could mean a lot.
It didn’t matter what happened with the rest of his day. He doubted his mood would be brought down, even if Joan fired him for his supposed relationship. Simon had asked Zoey what was going on between the two of them – and Max would love to know what had prompted that question – and she could have said anything. She could have denied it. She could have evaded the question. She could have even told him the truth, that it was all pretend. Instead, she’d told him they were dating.
Nope. Nothing could possibly bring down his day. He was in such a good mood, he found himself singing softly as he headed back to his desk. In fact, he was having a hard time resisting the urge to break out into an impromptu dance. “I used to think maybe you loved me, now baby I’m sure. And I just can’t wait ‘til the day when you knock on my door. Now every time I go to the mailbox, gotta hold myself down. Cause I just can’t wait ‘til you write me you’re coming around.
“I’m walking on sunshine, whoa! I’m walking on sunshine, whoa! I’m walking on sunshine, whoa! And don’t it feel good?”
#zoey's extraordinary playlist#zep#zoey clarke#max richman#fanfiction#my fanfiction#max x zoey#zoey x max#clarkeman#zomax#zax#the lies we tell ourselves
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Worth It
Anon: “love your writing! can i request reader being in love with brie for years now and she’s been there for her in every relationship and heartbreak that she goes through but now that they’re both single, reader takes a chance ☺️“
Just to remind you, this is all fictional. I just made everything up.
Warning: mentions of homophobia
Word count: 3,318
Being an internet celebrity, Y/n thought that life might be just a bit easier for her. She started as a youtuber, creating covers and visiting random places before she started going on tours and the number of her fans skyrocketed over the years.
Her connections to people, along with her talents, became the door she needed before people from big industries started contacting her. She showed up in a few shows and movies before she gradually made a name for herself in acting. She still kept her channel updated, but it was never really the same anymore due to her schedules.
But that was how she met Brie. After they were both introduced to each other, the pair instantly hit it off and basically became attached to the hip. Brie was very much thrilled to have met Y/n after she watched some of her videos, stating that she was a fan and Y/n ended up laughing as she admitted that she was a fan of Brie’s.
Since then, they were texting and calling almost everyday.
Breaks on set? Either one of them would be on the phone if they weren’t together.
Free day? People would see them together in some restaurant, carnival, movie, or anywhere they had planned to hang out.
They told each other everything, talking about crushes, their jobs, everything.
But one thing Y/n has yet to tell her best friend was her sexuality and the fact that she had started to fall in love with her.
The first time she had started to feel differently was during one of their sleepovers. They were both just laying in bed, talking about the most random things and she found herself just watching the blonde as she rambled about her dreams.
At first, she shook it off, thinking that it was plain admiration toward the other, but as time passed by, she figured that it wasn’t the case.
The first time she realizes that she does, in fact, have a crush on Brie, was when the blonde went to surprise her while she was busy filming for a movie.
She was so surprised at the sudden appearance of her friend that she ended up feeling flustered and tumbled over her lines. The director dismissed it with a laugh, allowing them to take a break and Y/n walked up to her.
“What the hell are you doing here?” She asked and Brie gave her a small pout. “Aww, come on. Am I not allowed to see my best friend?” She teased and Y/n rolled her eyes as she finished drinking from her water bottle.
“A little heads up would have sufficed.” She stuck her tongue out and Brie laughed at her before hugging her tight. “I’m sorry. It’s just been a week but I really missed you.” She admitted and it was enough to make Y/n’s heart skip a beat.
“You are so clingy. I wonder how you even survive without me.”
“That’s the thing. I can’t because I need you.”
She ignored the way her heart fluttered and just laughed it off before she went back to do her work.
The first time Y/n realizes that she was in love was when Brie had introduced her to a man named Patrick. He seemed nice, but for some reason, it made Y/n’s stomach churn when she found out they were dating but she forced herself to be happy for her best friend.
“Come on, Y/n! I want you to meet someone.” Brie exclaimed as they weaved through the sea of people.
“I’m not going anywhere. What’s your hurry?” She laughed before they finally stopped and her eyes soon fell on the guy.
“This is my best friend, Y/n. Y/n, this is Patrick, my boyfriend.” As soon as the words escaped her mouth Y/n’s heart sank, but she was able to brush it off and smiled. “It’s nice to meet you!” She told him.
It took a while for her to adjust. Brie had started to spend less time with her a few weeks after that. Of course, she didn’t want to think about it, but then she had come to terms that it just wouldn’t happen.
Brie was straight, and Y/n had just fully accepted her sexuality, so she decides to take her time in exploring it.
But when her best friend came to her one night, face covered in tears, she didn’t hesitate in pulling her into her home and secured her into her arms, soothing her and letting her speak until she had nothing left to say.
By the end of the night, Brie had fallen asleep in Y/n’s embrace and she could only wonder when those feelings of hers would just go away.
As it turns out, it didn’t.
Even as years passed, Y/n had only grown deeper in love with the blonde and she’s terrified that it won’t ever go away. She watched as Brie went into relationships with all these guys. She would befriend them for the sake of her best friend.
But as soon as they break up, Y/n is gathering Brie into her arms, spending weeks and months to help pick up the pieces of her heart until Brie is back to herself and the cycle continues.
Only this time, it was different. Brie’s current boyfriend, Alex, had gone to Y/n for help and as soon as he asks, Y/n is stood frozen while the male explains his plans of marrying Brie.
“Do you think this will be okay?” He questioned her and Y/n had to take in a deep breath before she had plastered on her best smile and nodded. “I’m absolutely sure. She loves you a lot, and I can see that you do, too.”
Alex grinned widely at her before hugging her tight. “Thank you so much. I’m glad Brie has you as her best friend.” He told her before Y/n watched him leave her house and drive off.
It didn’t take that long before the whole world found out about their engagement and Y/n felt her heart break, but she held on, smiling as she went out in public, but crying as soon as she was in the safety of her own home.
It was a year after the engagement and Y/n turned back to her channel, smiling yet nervous as she took in a deep breath.
“How is everyone doing today?”
When the following day, her phone had been ringing endlessly and when she saw the messages on her phone, she saw the amount of people that have been talking about her latest video.
She was about to check it out, but there was an urgent knocking on her door and she wonders who it was, not expecting to have visitors. Quickly, she made herself seem presentable before the door opened and Brie came bursting in, eyes wide as she looked at her best friend.
“Brie? What are you do-”
“You’re gay?”
Y/n blinked dumbly at her and slowly nodded her head. “I, yeah. Why?” Even though she was internally panicking, she was calm on the outside, unsure with how the other would react.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Brie asked, sounding hurt as Y/n rubbed her head. “Well, you see, it isn’t really that easy.” She muttered with a sigh before Brie pulled her in a bone crushing hug.
“You could have told me, Y/n. But, god, I’m so proud of you.” She told her and Y/n smiled before hugging her back. “Thank you.” She whispered, and though she knew she could never have her the way she wanted, she was happy knowing that she had her as her best friend.
Though another year passed and Y/n was confused when Brie had asked her to come over. The text was plain and simple and it worried Y/n to no end that she almost ran out of the venue of her shoot when they were done just to get to the other.
As soon as she arrived, she was panting after running from her car and up the steps to Brie’s door. “I’m here!” She huffed, hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath that Brie ended up laughing when she pulled her inside.
“What’s the problem? Who do I have to beat up?” Y/n asked as she finally stood straight and Brie rolled her eyes at her dramatics before she gestured for her to sit down
“The wedding is off.”
Those four words caused Y/n to blink repeatedly at the blonde. She looked so calm and casual about it. Why though when she seemed so excited about it the two years prior?
“I’m sorry, what?” She asked incredulously and Brie bit her lip as she leaned back. “It’s just... I don’t know. Things were going great but then it started to become... forced?” It was more of a question and Y/n furrowed her brows. “Who called it off?” She asked carefully.
She didn’t even seem bothered by it as she spoke. “I did.”
Y/n ran her fingers through her hair, nodding as she tried to think of any possible reason for it when Brie suddenly spoke again. “He was insulting you. He kept telling me that he didn’t really want me to be too close to you anymore and even asked me if I was sure of inviting you to the wedding.”
Now that, she wasn’t expecting. Alex didn’t even seem to be the type and she thought that they had actually formed a nice friendship.
“I couldn’t just let him talk to you like that. We had a fight and then things just ended.” Brie went on and Y/n felt a bit bad. “You shouldn’t have done that, Brie.”
The blonde only stared at her in surprise. “What are you talking about?” She asked her and Y/n lifted her gaze from the ground. “Brie, you shouldn’t have called off the wedding. You guys were so happy.” She told her and the other scoffed.
“I’d rather use a photon blast on him if I could than to marry him. Y/n, I wouldn’t marry someone who talks about you like that!” Brie threw her hands in the air. “He was worried.” Y/n tried to say.
“He was narrow minded.” Brie shot back then shook her head. “I honestly couldn’t handle the way he would talk about you and everything else. So don’t try and convince me otherwise.” She stated and Y/n sighed in defeat before she shook her head. “Fine.”
And things were back to normal between them.
When Brie had to go and meet with the Avengers cast, she would often invite Y/n to come with her and they’d gotten closer. Sometimes people catch them and ask if they were together, but they were able to shoot those rumors down. Though Brie had gotten a bit upset because there were people that would be hating on Y/n simply because they think she’s stealing Brie from her boyfriends.
The person to figure out about Y/n’s feelings for the blonde happened to be Robert. He saw them the first time Y/n appeared with Brie and he was quick to pick up on the way she acted around the actress.
“So, are you two together?” Y/n looked confused as she tilted her head at the man. “What?” He gave her a knowing look then tipped his head in Brie’s direction. The actress’ face turned a bright red and she cleared her throat. “Um, no. We’re just really close.” She told him.
Robert wasn’t all too convinced as he hummed thoughtfully. “Well, you both do look like a great couple. But I’m guessing you’re afraid with the whole “she’s straight” thinking?”
Y/n seemed surprised but she nodded in response before looking down at her hands. “She’s only ever seen me as her best friend. Even if she ever did start liking girls, I’m not exactly the person she would be dating.” She explained and he scoffed lightly. “You look like the best partner for her.”
“I’ve seen bits of you two in articles and pictures. You treat her better than any guy should treat his girlfriend. You’re always there and honestly, I think you’re soulmates based on the information I know about you both.” He chuckled that it made Y/n crack a smile.
“Thank you.” She told him and he patted her back. “It’s nothing. Just something I’ve learned before. Sometimes the love of your life won’t be your soulmate, and that’s okay because you’ll be in for something greater.”
Y/n felt a little bit better after that and she was able to breathe without worrying about her feelings for the other.
Brie was able to notice the change. Y/n was happier, calmer, than before and she found herself smiling whenever she saw the woman and would then walk over to her. And being Y/n, she would instantly wrap her arms around her waist and pull her against herself. Whenever they went out, they were always holding hands and it all just felt so natural for them.
Though along the way, Brie finds herself thinking more about the other actress and she’d catch herself smiling for no particular reason. Whenever Y/n would be gone for long periods of time, she would end up missing her and start pestering her for video calls.
At first, Y/n was’t sure how to take it. But eventually, she allowed herself to simply love Brie no matter the fact that they wouldn’t be together.
When Y/n finally came back from Asia, Brie was waiting excitedly for her at the airport. When she saw her, she was running and jumping into her arms, not at all minding the paparazzi and fans that had crowded around them.
“I missed you so much!” She exclaimed and Y/n had to laugh as she rubbed her back. “Yes, I know. You wouldn’t stop asking me when I’d be home.” She reminded her as Brie took her hand and they started walking out of the airport.
“I can’t help it. Not having you around for six months?” The blonde huffed and made the other roll her eyes. “You’re honestly helpless without me.”
“At least you know that I need you.”
Y/n would just smile at the familiar words and shake her head as they finally made their way to her house and Brie would constantly ask her about her time away, finding it amusing as Y/n would tell her all about the fun things she did.
Y/n freshened up when they got to her house and Brie waited for her in her room. She’s not been there for a long while so she was able to see the news things Y/n had in her room.
She smiled at the pictures that were on the wall. Y/n loved collecting pictures, books, and vinyls. She ended up with a shelf for those but the pictures were everywhere on the walls and bedside table.
Though she did stop as she saw a picture of the two of them and she giggled at the memory. It was during their first movie together. Both had fallen asleep while waiting for their turn to film and one of their friends took a picture of them cuddling together.
After that, she just started to relive all the times they spent together until she just sat on the bed, holding up the most recent picture that they had. It was during the Endgame premier. Robert wanted to take a picture of them, pretending like he was one of the photographers. But she never really got the chance to see the picture and she didn’t know that Y/n had a copy of it.
It was simple, just the two of them, smiling at each other. She lightly traced it with her index finger and she wonders what Y/n must have been thinking because her smile on that picture just made her look so content and happy.
“You know, it’s bad to snoop.” Y/n voice reached her ears, but she just kept staring at the picture. “Since when have I been one to be nice?” She countered playfully as she heard Y/n approach the bed then looked at the picture as well, instantly bringing a smile to her face when she did.
“You look really happy here.” Brie commented when Y/n laid next to her. “I’m always happy with you.” Y/n mumbled as she cocked a brow and Brie set the photo down before she laid next to Y/n and faced her.
“What are you thinking about that makes you happy?” She couldn’t help but ask and Y/n stared back at her with a small smile on her face. “Well, there’s always you.” She murmured and Brie smiled slightly. “What about me?”
Though she was scared of how this would end up, Y/n thought back on what Robert told her before she bit her lip and started to say what she’d kept locked up in her mind and heart for so long. “Well, I think you’re really stupid.” She chuckled, earning a playful slap on the arm.
“You’re horrible.” Brie giggled and Y/n just laughed before she shook her head.
“You’re honestly the best person I’ve ever met. You’re kind, caring, beautiful, and smart. You’ve been my best friend for all these years and accepted me when I thought I would be shunned by the whole world.” She told her before licking her lips as she tried to think and Brie waited for her.
“You are at every high and low in my life and it terrifies me sometimes because it’s like I’m going to lose you one day.” She admitted. “But then again, it makes me happy, knowing you’re there for me when I need you. And with all that’s happened to us for all these years...”
She felt her heart start to race as she made up her mind. “You’ve made me unbelievably happy and just let me be comfortable as me. I’ve loved you so much and it just kept scaring me that once you find out, my fears are going to end up coming true.”
Brie was caught off guard by her confession. She didn’t really think that Y/n would have actually harbor feelings for her, but she did. And for some reason, hearing that caused her heart to skip a few beats.
“How long?” She whispered and Y/n looked her straight in the eyes. “When you told me about Patrick.” She answered firmly and Brie’s eyes softened before she lifted herself slightly, using her arm to support her head.
“Y/n that was...” Y/n smiled at her as she nodded her head. “I know.”
“And when Alex proposed...”
“I helped him.”
Hearing that made her feel bad all of a sudden. “If you did love me... then why?” That was the most vulnerable Brie has ever seen Y/n and she felt her eyes well up in tears.
“You loved him.” She said simply. “You were so happy together and you were both in love.” She murmured. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Y/n was quiet for a while, trying to think of what to say before she chuckled and looked at Brie with the most gentle gaze she’s ever seen.
“Because, I realized, you’re happiness will always be above mine.”
When she saw the tear that slipped from her eyes, Y/n lifted her hand and carefully wiped it away. And before she could pull back, Brie caught her hand and kept it there before she pressed their foreheads together.
“Alex was the love of my life.” She mumbled, her yes scanning Y/n’s. “But he turned into someone else that eventually I didn’t know him anymore.” She continued, squeezing Y/n’s hand before she released a shaky breath and Y/n remembers Robert’s words.
“Sometimes the love of your life isn’t going to be you soulmate.” She whispered and Brie smiled at her.
“I didn’t need the love of my life.” She told her.
“I needed my soulmate.”
#request#reader insert#x reader#avengers#mcu#marvel#captain marvel#captain marvel x reader#carol#carol danvers#carol x reader#carol danvers x reader#carol danvers x y/n#brie larson#brie larson x reader#wlw#robert downey jr#fanfic#avengers imagine#avengers fanfiction#marvel fanfiction
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I Was Once Part Of A Cult
I just want to clear a couple things up before I continue: one, this cult was not religious in nature; and two, this cult is not based around a MLM.
So, before the spring of 2018, I was a relatively normal shy girl who was focused on academics and developed a crush on Harry Styles the summer of 2014. The end of the story should have been that I’ve crushed on Harry ever since and never judged myself or anyone else for how they displayed their feelings for the man, but sadly that wasn’t the case.
Until I was 18, the only form of social media I had was something that’s basically dead now: Google+. How I got that account is a story for another day, but what’s relevant to this story is that Google+ was my first fan account of Harry Styles/One Direction, and hence was my first exposure to FreddieIsMyQueen and Larry Stylinson.
According to Wikipedia, the definition of a cult is “a social group that is defined by its unusual religious, spiritual, or philosophical beliefs, or by its common interest in a particular personality, object or goal”. I want to focus on the second part of this definition, although some might compare FreddieIsMyQueen to a religious figure of sorts by the amount of “worship” she’s received from others.
FreddieIsMyQueen first hit the scene with her YouTube videos that took clips from different One Direction moments revolving around Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson and made assumptions about the nature of their relationship and their individual sexualities. In other words, she invented the idea of Larry Stylinson.
Now, I’m not talking about enjoying the friendship of two different members of One Direction and casually “shipping” them. Niall Horan and Harry Styles (Narry) and Louis Tomlinson and Liam Payne (Lilo) are two examples of these type of ships that are for the most part harmless fun. FreddieIsMyQueen, however, saw the relationship that Louis and Harry had and went, “these boys aren’t just friends; no, they’re in a romantic relationship, and it’s my duty to expose it.”
Side note: if you believe two people are in a romantic relationship (even if they’re just really good friends), and they haven’t said or confirmed anything, DON’T MAKE VIDEOS “EXPOSING” THEIR RELATIONSHIP! If they were in a romantic relationship and wanting to keep things secret, then congratulations; you just took away their privacy, and they may never want to talk to you or each other ever again. If they weren’t, then you just wind up looking like an idiot, especially if you do it multiple times.
So, to summarize, FreddieIsMyQueen used YouTube to create a cult that centers around the idea that Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are in a secret relationship because their management/contract made them hide in the closet, and the goal of this cult is simple: get the two men out of this oppressive environment so that they can show the public that they are romantic partners. The name of the cult? For the purposes of this post, I’ll be calling it Larryland, and the followers of said cult are called Larries.
Obviously, to the average person, the whole thing sounds absurd, but cults aren’t based on the realities you or I live in. They’re on their own plane of existence that’s loosely tied to the rules of this universe.
What does this have to do with little ole me? Like I said, I was first exposed to Larryland on Google+. Around the same time, I was hanging around a couple of Larries at my high school during my lunch break. Before this point, I just really, REALLY liked Harry and thought that I would have a chance to be with him someday. I know, kinda silly, but I was 14/15 with my first celebrity crush, and my hormones were doing things. Anyway, originally I just kinda dismissed Larryland. I think it might have partially been due to the fact that I was writing a story with a friend named Erin on Google+ who also had a crush on Harry, and we wrote our story based on the fact that Zayn was with Perrie, Liam was with Sophia, and Louis was with Eleanor. Other than that, though, I don’t remember a single definitive moment where I reached the conclusion that Louis and Harry were just friends; it just sort of happened, I guess.
Now, the first cracks began forming when I listened to the Larries at my school a little too long. There was one day during lunch where I was weirdly rambling about Larry Stylinson, and it feels like a fever dream fueled by drugs now that I look back on it, but I was not under the influence of anything at the time, so I have no idea what I was thinking. Then, I started watching a couple of FreddieIsMyQueen’s videos about Larry Stylinson (I think they would be considered the induction videos), and you could say things started going downhill from there. It was gradual, but my belief shifted a bit from “Harry and Louis are just friends and will always be friends” to “Harry and Louis might have been in a romantic relationship when One Direction was first forming, but then Louis found Eleanor and they’ve been happily together ever since”. If my experience is like a movie, this would be the point where you would be yelling at the TV because you know that the character on screen is acting stupid as hell.
Instagram changed everything. At this point, I had been 18 years old for a few months and moved from Facebook to Instagram for the sole purposes of trying to talk to a really cute boy. One day, I was just minding my own business on Instagram when I came across a post by a user called haroldslemons on the explore page. Now, haroldslemons was a Larrie, and her post was (obviously) based around Larry Stylinson. We talked for a bit in her comments section, and we kept things civil because I have a tendency to want to know both sides of a story before I jump to any conclusions. Sometimes, this is a strength of mine, but in this case, it was a weakness. We moved from the comments section to the DMs, and over the course of a few days, I had went from someone who was simply wanting to understand why haroldslemons was thinking the way she does to thinking just like her. Ladies, gentlemen, and nonbinary folks, I had become a Larrie. I was suckered into Larryland.
The events of the interaction that had led to this moment happened in May of 2018, and I never questioned anything about Larryland until that September. That’s four months, and while that’s a relatively short time compared to other Larries in Larryland, that’s still four months that I’ll never get back. I went to Harry’s concert in Indianapolis while I was in Larryland. I followed the biggest Larrie accounts on Instagram and even created my own based around the fictional life of Mr. Smiley, which was just a smiley face taken from a picture I took of a bowling alley plastered on different pictures of Harry. It may have only been four months, but I was deep in Larryland for those four months.
If it weren’t for the Instagram Larries dragging a Twitter Harrie calling Louis Tomlinson thick (thick as in dumb, not thick as in fat: this Twitter Harrie was British), I would probably still be a Larrie today. You see, my tendency to want to know both sides of the story led me to creating a Twitter account for the sole purpose of confronting this Twitter Harrie. Today, she’s known as styles_sublime, and she is now one of my best internet friends. Back then, she was under a different account that has since been suspended indefinitely.
Anyway, she originally dismissed me because she thought I was just like all the other Larries, wanting to come after her. She would have blocked me if it weren’t for my decent written grammar and the fact that I was thinking quick on my feet and trying to get her on my good side. These things must have charmed her enough to keep talking to me, and we slowly became online friends.
Now, the fact that we were friendly with each other didn’t mean that I suddenly was no longer a Larrie. Remember how I mentioned that I was in Larryland for four months? Well, it took just as long (if not longer) for me to leave Larryland for good, and it took just about a full year since my first interaction with styles_sublime for me to: a, acknowledge that I had any sexual interest towards Harry; and b, accept and embrace those emotions.
So, that’s the story about how I was once in a cult.
#harrystyles#louistomlinson#onedirection#larrystylinson#larrie#larries#cult#conspiracy#conspiracytheory#freddieismyqueen#FIMQ
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some random joe headcannons I have!
these were originally on my twitter, but i thought i’d post them here too! reminder that these are all just my own personal headcannons for joe, so feel free to disagree with anything or tell me your own headcannons! also these are a bit rambly i’m sorry but i still hope u enjoy!!
- the yttd manga mentions that joe comes from a fairly poor family, so i pictured him living above the town's local grocery store, which his family owns and runs! they don't have a lot, but they're still happy, and that's what counts.
- joe lives with his dads and his two younger siblings. his younger siblings are twins, and are around 9 years old. they both look up to joe and think he's the coolest! joe loves to play games with them, take them out and just generally dote on them because he is a Soft Big Bro™!
- joe's dads adopted him and his siblings! joe lived in an orphanage for the first couple years of his life, but since he was so young he barely remembers it. his dads are fairly chill, but can also be Classic Dad Embarrassing. so many dad jokes. that's where joe gets them from.
- sara is around at joe's place so often that she's basically become an Honorary Tazuna Sibling. joe's dads are almost embarrassingly fond of her, as are his younger siblings. they call her "big sis sara" (like gin!!) and sara enjoys that deep down as she herself is an only child!
- joe creates the impression that he's fairly extroverted, and many would say he is, however he has mild social anxiety and his insecurities often hold him back from making new friends or other opportunities. however, sara can see when joe gets uncomfortable and always helps lighten the load in social situations for him. that's one of the things that joe is most grateful for in sara.
- if you couldn't tell, joe is obsessed with dogs!! if he sees one in the streets he just stops and goes on a tangent about how adorable and soft it is and how he wants to feed and love and pet it and sara's just there like k dude lemme know when ur done. he sadly can't get a dog himself because of his living/financial situation, but he has a bed full of dog plushies at home to make up for it.
- joe's other Big Love is sports, his favourites being softball, basketball and swimming! he has a Lot of energy (like he never seems to tire out. Ever) and is known by a lot of the school for his athletic ability.
- joe is a literal Meme God. sara cannot go a single day without receiving a text from him that's some surreal, dead, wholesome or uncannily recent meme. it's a gamble which it'll be, or whether she'll understand it. joe also has an ifunny account purely for the irony.
- joe actually has a small interest in fashion!! the clothes he wears alway seem to have some sort of colourful, quirky, messy, Classic Joe look to them. ultimately, they help him express himself! hence also why he wears his uniform Like That and his hair is Like That. if they weren’t, it just wouldn’t be joe!
- joe's first proper interaction with sara was when they were walking home from their first day of high school on opposite sides of the street, and joe saw sara accidentally walk into a lamppost. joe couldn't help but laugh, which embarrassed sara, but he crossed the street and asked if she was ok. they went their separate ways after that, but whenever joe spotted sara in any of his classes he would be like "hey lamppost girl!!" and thus a beautiful friendship blossomed from awkward little daily interactions like that, especially since the rest of their class had already formed friendships around them and they were kind of the odd ones out. talking to joe helped sara come out of her shell more, and helped joe ease into conversations better.
- joe is trans!! he goes by he/him pronouns mostly, but also sometimes they/them. he actually met sara as he was just figuring his identity out, and she was a big help and support to him while he transitioned in the next couple of years! when he was picking a new name for himself he couldn't decide between "jou" and "joe" but then sara was like Why Not Both. his athletic build and natural broad-shoulderedness meant that he didn't feel too dysphoric, however he can have days where he feels more body-conscious, and hates people misunderstanding him or his looks.
- he's also a chaotic bisexual! the amount of silly one-day crushes joe has gotten and sara has had to listen about are staggering. anyway joe tazuna carries the entire lgbt+ community on his shoulders in this essay i will
- he's a closet weeb. he loves magical girl anime, idol anime and anything else with an action/fantasy edge! it all started when he saw his little sister watching sailor moon one day. that was his Weeb Awakening. he also unironically listens to vocaloid! the only plushies on his bed that are not dogs are a len kagamine plush and a subaru akehoshi plush.
- he drinks respecting women juice, on the daily, no he Chugs it. but we all know this
- he's very emotional! he cries very easily, is deeply empathetic to those he cares about and physically cannot bear to watch any movies where the dog dies. one time he accidentally saw a dog die on tv as a kid and it scarred him so deeply that he cried his eyes out for a full day and later held a small memorial service for this fictional dog.
- unfortunately because of him being more of a sensitive type, as well as being adopted, he was often bullied as a child. back then he couldn’t stand up for himself, so there was little he could do. but with advice from his dads, and eventually meeting sara, he learned to be stronger and overcome it.
- he’s very innocent! sara Physically Cannot explain what “f*ck” means to him. she just Can’t
- when he was introduced to ryoko by sara, he went positively scarlet and couldn’t form a proper sentence around her for a week. however, as he got more comfortable with her, and she warmed up to him, their ✨ budding romance ✨ began to bloom. although they only recently started dating, and they still have a long way to go, they’re happy and comfortable with the casual relationship they have, and sara is super supportive of them!
- the fact that joe and ryoko are dating doesn’t upset the friendship between the three of them, everything is just pretty chill! after all, ryoko and sara are joe’s two favourite girls in the world, and nothing will ever change that. 💙
#might reblog and add more if i think of anything fjdgsjd#yttd#kimi ga shine#your turn to die#キミガシネ#joe tazuna#sara chidouin#ryoko hirose
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The Position is Filled
Day 2 @nalu-week Stranger prompt
*Gomen. I got nothing against Sting, just needed a bad guy for this story, and it’s a bit rushed to get it done in time.
Lucy scans over the ad for the tenth time maybe, who was counting. It wasn’t like anyone she knew would know she had placed it because a fictional name and generic email contact address should keep it on the low.
Looking for single hetero male, toned and fit body, clean cut, preferably charismatic, charming business type, fresh faced cute with positive disposition to take to an event. Must provide a picture taken within the last month, stats (height, weight), and a job resume in your response.
She takes one last deep breath and closes her eyes as she clicks the send button. Desperate times lead to desperate measures, and this was one of those times no matter how crazy the idea was.
Her 10-year high school reunion was coming up in just two months and according to gossip, her ex-boyfriend would be attending with a plus one. The bastard. Sting Eucliffe had been her high school sweetheart, but after twelve years together, she caught him cheating. Lucy was devastated. Well now she knew why he always changed the subject when the idea of marriage came up. But that didn’t mean she wanted him back, oh no. What Lucy wanted, was to make him jealous and to show Sting she had moved on. Unfortunately, she hadn’t found anyone worth dating, hence the need to fake it.
The first few hits looked promising, but each one had something she didn’t like. Not fond of the hair, no blonde guys. Too short. Visible tattoos, not that she really cared, but it wasn’t part of this vision, and problems with something on their resume. After a week, the responses had petered down to a trickle and Lucy was starting to lose hope. Maybe this idea wasn’t going to work after all.
She was almost ready to give up by the end of the second week when she heard the ding on her phone, signaling a new email. ‘Please, please be decent,’Lucy chants in her head as she opens the message. Natsu Dragneel. Her eyes widen to the selfie photo. Cute smile, pretty green eyes, nice height. Lucy bites her lip, he had a verynice body. So far so good. One year older, works at a brokerage firm Dreyar & Dreyar as a junior broker. ‘Hot dayum!’ If the BMW M5 parked behind him was his car…
“Wait a minute.” She pauses, a bit confused. What was a guy like this doing answering a dating ad?! He was hot and looked like he had some money, how was he still single? Was there some major flaw hidden behind the perfect features and pristine resume? Oh, what the hell, her curiosity was peaked, and besides, he was the only candidate so far that looked good for the part. Lucy sends off her reply to meet for coffee and tosses the phone back on the couch beside her.
Ding.
‘That was quick,’she glances over and picks the phone back up.
Tomorrow, 11am at Fairies Cafe? Lunch my treat ;)
Lucy fires off a response. See you then!
Nervous was an understatement when Lucy walked up to the cafe. She’d worn a casual summer dress, nothing fancy, but she had taken an hour just to settle on wearing it. Her make-up was redone a couple of times, too heavy at first, now lighter to match the outfit. Flats and hair done in a simple ponytail, completed her look.
She scans the room and almost immediately notices a pink head of hair in one of the booths. It’s been a while since she’s patronized Fairies and the place looked exactly the same as she remembered it, cozy. To her Starbucks felt more hectic whereas this coffee shop still had a homey feel thanks to the owner Mira.
“Hi,” Lucy walks up to the booth, holding her hand out in a gesture. “I’m Lucy, are you Natsu?”
“That’s me,” he shakes her hand but runs his other through his hair.
It was obvious the man was a little nervous too, but his smile looked genuine. She sits down across from him.
“Order whatever you want,” Natsu pushes the menu closer to Lucy. “I already know what I’m gonna get.”
Lucy opens the menu scanning its contents. “Have you been here long?” She hopes she hadn’t kept him waiting.
“Oh no, I got here a few minutes before you. I kind of come here often since it’s close to work.”
Once their orders are placed. Lucy gets right to it, starting with the one question that plagued her. There’d be no point in staying long if she didn’t like the answer. “To be honest I was surprised to get your response. Tell me the truth Natsu. You’re cute and have a good job, how is someone like you still single?
Natsu blushes, and there goes the head scratching again. “Well would you believe I wasn’t the one who sent the response?”
“Come again?! What do you mean?!”
“I was with my buddy and he took my phone when I wasn’t looking and found your ad. I’m really sorry, he’s been trying to get me to date cause I’ve just been so focused on work, so at first, I was pissed and was gonna apologize and renege but then I thought what the hell, why not. He’s right I do need to get out more. Then when I saw you, I’m glad I agreed to come here cause you are smokinghot!” He hangs his head. “I’m sorry, I’m rambling. Truth is I’m still single cause I get flustered with girls. It’s okay if after learning that you wanna change your mind…”
Lucy’s soft laughter stops his blubbering cold, and he looks up wide-eyed at the giggling blonde. He was sure he was bright red by now because he swore the temperature in the cafe had doubled.
“You’re so cute!” Lucy chuckles. “It’s quite endearing to me. I was so nervous that you’d end up being some stuck-up playboy just looking for a one-night-stand or something, that to see you all flustered makes me feel better.”
“Um, thanks,” he cocks his head with a silly grin, “I think?”
She chuckles again. “Let’s start over, shall we?”
Over lunch Lucy tells Natsu that she was hoping to find someone to accompany her to her high school reunion, leaving out the part about Sting. Of course, he asked her why find a stranger as a date, to which she replied, since she’s still single, she just wanted someone no one would know.
“So basically,” Lucy blushes lightly, “I was hoping we could pretend we’ve been dating for a while already.”
“Oh, so I’m gonna play like a fake boyfriend?”
“Yeah… if that’s something you’d be okay with.”
Natsu hunches his shoulders, “Yeah, why not.”
Over the next upcoming weeks, Lucy and Natsu spend as much time as they can in order to learn about each other. The plan wouldn’t work if they messed up on simple questions, especially if cornered by anyone that knows Lucy’s past. Family history to when they met, how long they’ve been dating all needed to be memorized. As a writer that works from home, her schedule was open, so they mainly worked around Natsu’s, sometimes at her apartment, sometimes at his.
Once their nerves had calmed the friendship bloomed. Natsu was a real sweet-hearted goof and Lucy loved spending time with him. It was definitely a little awkward at first since Sting had been her only boyfriend since high school, leaving Lucy with very little experiences to draw from before or after. But frankly, Lucy was also a bit surprised how natural their friendship was coming along, and by the fifth week she’d almost forgotten this was supposed to be a fake relationship. She didn’t want to admit it, but the stock broker from Dreyar & Dreyar was really growing on her.
She fidgets on the couch one evening. “I think we should practice um,” Lucy cheeks darken as she tries to get the words out, “you know k-kissing.” They were only two weeks from the reunion and while they’d done things like holding hands, first base had not been attempted yet.
Natsu gulps and nods. This was something he’d been dreading for a while, now that his feelings for the pretty blonde had steadily grown. He knew this was only supposed to be a faux situation, but in the back of his mind, he hoped it would turn into something more.
They awkwardly shift their bodies closer until their legs are touching. Despite his trepidation, he’s dreamt of this moment for the last couple of weeks and the only way it could work was, to give in. Natsu reaches out to cradle Lucy’s face in his hand, sweeping his thumb along her milky skin. It was so soft under his touch! He lets his eyes drift over the lips he needed to claim next. Would it be everything he’d imagined? With a pause and coquette nod by the blonde, Natsu leans in coveting Lucy’s ruby lips. Slow and gentle, he applies pressure to the kiss allowing the blonde to tell him how far to push things. But she never pulls away, rather adds to the mix with a nibble to his bottom lip. He swore his heart jumped into his throat by her actions and a light groan slips out.
Emboldened by his response, Lucy runs the tip of her tongue against the seam of his lips. Natsu relents and allows her to slip through. She hums her pleasure and savors what this man was providing her. The fears of allowing someone else to get close again seemed lost in this moment they were sharing. A simple kiss that set off fireworks in her brain. It was amazing, and something she hadn’t felt in so long. Her fingers weave into his hair, threading through, gripping tightly as he suckles and cavorts with her tongue. Oh wow, Lucy moans, this man was really good at finding hidden buttons she didn’t even know had existed till now.
She was almost saddened by the loss of contact when Natsu slowly pulled away out of breath. It was probably for the best that they slowed things down anyways. Her goal was supposed to be, just get through the reunion, not fall in love with the next guy that came her way. But as he rested his forehead against hers, and she felt his hands gently resting above her hip, a crack appeared in Lucy’s resolve. Natsu was so sweet, so attentive compared to how Sting had treated her. How had she not known that men like the ones in her stories may actually exist.
Needless to say, sleep didn’t come so easily for either of them that night as they replayed the kiss they had shared on her couch. Natsu knew he was hopelessly in love, but Lucy was more torn than ever.
The night of the reunion came swiftly enough and they both were not truly ready for it emotionally. They were dressed to impress, having pulled out all the stops with a custom fit Armani suit for Natsu, and an elegant red gown for Lucy that accented all of her assets. Her plan was to make Sting jealous, but Natsu was still unaware of this secondary reason. Lucy had toyed with the idea of telling him the truth, but every time she built up the courage to do so, she balked and now it was too late.
And low and behold, as they pull up to the valet station in Natsu’s M5, who but Sting and his date are exiting another vehicle. Lucy takes a deep breath, willing herself to calm down. She couldn’t believe it! Yukino Aguria was his date! The cheerleading captain and the football quarter back from their high school years. Oh, how cliché could this be?!
“Are you okay,” Natsu had taken her hand when he’d noticed her jaw clench. “Is that someone you know?”
“Yeah,” Lucy exhales, “they’re here for the reunion too.” Like hell she was going to tell Natsu now, that they were the reason she’d brought him in the first place. She turns on the fake smile, “let’s get this over with.”
It wasn’t all that bad Lucy realizes an hour into the event. A few of her old friends, some she hadn’t spoken to in years were in attendance and it was nice catching up with them. So far Natsu was playing his role perfectly, holding her hand or keeping his arm around her waist, making small talk with people, and doing what any old boyfriend would do. But every so often, her eyes drift over to wherever Sting was hanging out. As she suspected, he and Yukino was mainly around their former teammates. Well it did make sense. Theymade more sense. Lucy hadn’t been part of that crowd to begin with because cheer just wasn’t of interest to her. It still didn’t make her feel any better, only wonder if she’d been the one played their entire relationship.
She didn’t wanna see much more of it and excuses herself to the restroom to calm her nerves.
After freshening up and composing herself, Lucy exists the lady’s room and is startled to find Sting waiting right outside, alone, leaning against the wall.
“Didn’t think you’d come,” he smirks at her, “I knew you wanted to see me again.”
“Oh please,” Lucy tries to get around him, but he blocks her. “Sting, move.”
“You thought you could just break up with me and I’d let you go so easily?” Sting corners Lucy against a wall with his arms braced on either side of her. “That ain’t happening baby.”
Lucy seethes. “Y-You’re the one who was doing the cheating Sting! I wasted 12 years of my life on you and I’m glad to have found someone new.”
“Who, Armani boy out there.” He scoffs, “think I don’t know you only met the guy two months ago on some dating site.” When he sees Lucy’s eyes widen, he taunts her more. “Yeah…” Sting trails a finger along her jaw and down her neck, “that’s right, I found out from Minerva cause she works at that company checking through profiles. Couldn’t land a guy so you dug one up. Cute baby, real cute, but you’re not gonna replace me so easily.”
“Y-You have Yukino,” Lucy spat back. “Why are you still bothering me…”
Sting grabs Lucy’s jaw hard.
“You’re hurting me Sting, stop it!”
He narrows his eyes, “I just don’t like losing what’s mine.”
Natsu had grown worried at how long Lucy was taking and went to investigate. As he rounds the corner of the hallway, he sees the same man from earlier pinning her to the wall. Furious, he runs as fast as he can, cold cocking him before he even knew what hit him. Sting flies a few feet away but quickly scrambles to his feet. “Back off pretty boy. This is between me and my ex!”
Ex? Natsu glances at Lucy confused.
“Oh, I see,” Sting snickers, “she never told you.”
But Natsu didn’t care. No woman deserved to be treated the way this bastard was hurting Lucy. “Last chance,” he narrows his eyes, brows furrowing in a death glare. “Walk away and don’t ever come near her again or I’ll lay you out right here right now Eucliffe!” Sting’s eyes widen a tad, that this guy knew who he was. “Yeah I know who you are. Quarterback of Crocus High. I recognized Cheney too from the times we whipped your asses on the field.”
Sting does a double take. “Magnolia.”
“Exactly. You stuck up rich kids always looked down on us, but on the field, we owned you. Now walk away or I’ll refresh your memory.”
By that moment, other partygoers had flooded into the hallway. Rogue grabs Sting telling him it ain’t worth it and to just come with them.
“Fine,” Sting spat back, “you can have her cause she ain’t worth it. I’m outta here!”
“Are you okay?” Natsu grabs Lucy and pulls her to him.
She collapses against his chest, sobbing. “I’m sorry Natsu. I should have warned you…”
“It doesn’t matter if he’s you ex, that doesn’t give him the right to put his hands on you. But tell me the truth Lucy, is he the reason you wanted to come here tonight?”
Lucy hesitates a moment but nods and hangs her head. “I’m sorry Natsu…. When I’d heard he had a new girlfriend, I just wanted him to think I’d moved on too. Just never thought he’d do something like this.”
Natsu exhales and kisses the top of her head. Speaking in a soft tone, “I know I was supposed to just play a role but, after spending the last few weeks with you, I don’t… I don’t want things to end between us.”
“You don’t?” She looks up. “Even after all this?”
He shakes his head and smiles, cupping her cheek gently, “permission to kiss my new… girlfriend?”
She smiles and pulls him in for a kiss, “permission no longer required…”
#naluweek#nalu week 2019#day 2 stranger prompt#nalu#Natsu dragneel#Lucy heartfilia#Au story#nalu fanfic
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Since you mentioned being in the mood for asks: I think I like my best friend. She knows I'm not straight. But has never actually said she's not straight but has discussed possibility of her sexuality being fluid? She doesn't open up to anyone. And so it's really hard to understand her feelings and I am always afraid of crossing the line by asking her too many questions? So I just avoid asking a question twice. I know our friendship will be ruined if I let her know about my feelings ( 1/2 )
But idk what to do with all these pent up feelings :( she gets close to me but then seems to be very distant after a while. Back and forth. Idk what to do. Especially with all this time in my hand during quarantine all I do is overthink about everything in my life including her. Oh no I'm ranting. Sorry have a great day !!! Love you Katie !!! 🖤🖤🖤 :) ( 2/2 )
hello dear!! 💜💜💜 okay first and foremost never never feel like you have to apologize for sending long/multi-part asks/rambling/etc i adore getting asks and it is never something you should feel bad about!!
now, onto advice here...there are a lot of different options ofc for what you could do, and i won’t say that there’s one right answer or one thing that’s better than another. i am and always will be an advocate for communication and honesty in relationships/friendships/etc, but i think the first thing that needs to happen is you need to decide what route you want to go
the kind of key directions would ofc be to 1. explain your feelings and see if she feels the same 2. decide that you do Not want your current friendship with her to change and that you would rather move on from being interested in her without mentioning that you have feelings or 3. keep on the same path you’re currently on and sort of just...wait it out
uhhh i will say that option 3 is usually...one to avoid, if you can. specifically bc this will probably leave you feeling Bad and that’d be something that’s uhhh not good lmao
so say you want to try telling her how you feel, naturally this comes with the risk (as you mentioned) that she might not feel the same/that you might ruin the friendship by saying something about it, but unfortunately...there’s not really much of a way around that risk. that said, and keeping in mind that idk her or how she tends to act/react to certain situations, there are probably ways to go about this that mitigate some of the risks
if i were in your shoes and decided i wanted to go this route, i might genuinely try to keep it as lowkey and casual as possible, and try to avoid making it some Big Thing™. i’d probs just say smth like ‘hey y’know i think i might have feelings for u beyond just friendship, i wanted to just let you know in case you felt the same, but if not, no worries! it doesn’t change that i still want to be friends with you, and i obviously am not gonna act any differently toward you if you don’t feel the same.’ like. i would try to make it clear that 1. i wouldn’t want anything to change if she didn’t feel the same and 2. that i have no expectations of her
especially since it sounds like she’s still figuring out who she might be into, i might also add something like ‘i totally understand you’re still figuring stuff out, i don’t want you to feel any added pressure, just wanted to be open and honest with you’ (sometimes being open can help others open up too!)
now, that said, it sounds like you might be erring more on the side of wanting to move on and get over your feelings for her - which is totally valid! or, ofc, if you tell her and she’s like ‘yeah man sorry i’m just not into you!’ then u would naturally want to move on without making things uncomfy. in that event, i have one very major recommendation: distractions
i get it! it’s hard with quarantine to keep your mind occupied with other things/people/etc, but unfortunately, moving on isn’t something that can just be done, it requires practice and patience and time
one thing you can try is choosing something you already enjoy and finding an aspect of that to dive deeper into. for example, fan of a show/book? go search for fanart or fanfic if you’re into that! come up with an oc just for fun in whatever universe that piece of media is in, even if u never show it to anyone. pick a few blogs you’ve seen who post a lot and check them out, maybe follow if they seem cool! write fic or draw art, whether it be of an oc or existing characters or even just scenes or something! especially try this out even if you’ve never done either of those things before - and don’t get discouraged if those things aren’t perfect, just give them a shot and you might find something you really enjoy! grab a character or ship you usually don’t give much attention to/haven’t seen before and go check out their tag!
along this route, i speak a lot about fandom/fictional media bc that is what i personally use as an escape, but the same goes for activism/politics/languages/animals/other subjects/literally anything that is of interest to you! there is almost always an unexplored aspect of something that you can dive into. but! in the event that you can’t or don’t find anything interesting...
another thing is to find something new! a show you’ve heard about but never watched (or a show you’ve literally never heard of before but like just keeps popping up on ur netflix page), a book you’ve been putting off reading, a youtuber that seems p cool, a skill or language or craft or really, literally anything you haven’t done, and trying it. invest a bit of time and energy and just see where it takes you, let yourself think about this new thing and follow your line of curiosity. some of the best (and worst/dumbest/most cursed) ideas i’ve ever had came from just. randomly following the line of curiosity in my head and seeing where it takes me. hell, that’s what led to me writing fic in the first place!
and be forgiving of yourself too, don’t associate thoughts about this person with any kind of ‘oh shit i’m not supposed to be thinking about her’ kind of reactions, just gently redirect your thoughts to that one episode you just watched, or the question you have about the universe it exists in, or what crocheting pattern you want to try out first, etc etc etc. again, this kind of thing takes time and patience and won’t happen overnight, but you absolutely can get there!
the last ‘distraction’ i tend to go for is revisiting old interests! that fic or book you read a long time ago but still have/still have bookmarked as a fave? pick it back up and give it a reread - the cool thing about stories is that, over time, our perspectives change, and the way we experience the story and the emotions we feel over it change as well. same goes for old shows, esp if it’s been a minute! you can even do this in tandem with the first distraction type and dig back into fandoms you haven’t seen in a while!
it can be hard to remember sometimes - esp while we’re in quarantine! - that worlds exist outside our current interests and spheres of influence. whatever you decide to do, dear, just remember that things will be okay in the end (even if they’re not okay at first) so long as you try to do what’s right for you and be thoughtful and caring along the way. i hope this helped at least a little!
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is there romance in atdao or is it all just found famiy vibes? if there is romance im real curious about how peeps would express those kinda feelings
hello hi hello this took me AGES I’m very sorry I kept getting distracted by things such as being asleep
anyway yes thank you for the question! romance? yes, we’ve got some of this going on, sure, though I would count the romance as within the found family c:
I don’t know if you wanted a Ramble™ but this is a topic I can ramble about and I’m in a bit of a rambling mood so you can have a ramble, free of charge, just take it up to the register and have them enter the code “logan this is not what I ordered”
but yeah, your question? about eight vaguely relevant tangents immediately spring to mind! also spoilers?? spoilers after the cut
I really should have formatted this response in a way that puts the super spoiler heavy part at the end but since when have I ever ever in my life made things easy for my dear sweet followers
y’all know what I’m like with spoilers by now
but yeah, to set the scene, there’s two main romantic......................... situations going on in the story, the first being between Noa and Alice, and the second being between Kai, Tris and Shara. so, the former I would describe as “a legitimate romantic subplot” and the latter I would describe as a character tripping and falling into it by sheer chance and just being like “oh whoops well I guess this is what I’m doing now” which is also extremely valid
Noa and Alice end up not being, like, Confirmed Endgame by the end of the story even though much of the plot looks like it’s heading in that direction, and like...... yeah, in my head, they do end up in a romantic relationship at some point post-story, but I’m not sure on what sort of timeline
during the story itself, it’s established that they do share mutual feelings for each other and this is likely heading towards a romantic relationship, but I think since much of the story sees Noa still trying to find her feet in just, like....... having friends at all, and trusting those friends, and knowing who she is in relation to others on any sort of level, I think near the end of the story she decides that she’s not at a place where she wants to try and figure out a romantic relationship just yet
it’s not a hard no, it’s just a “hey not right now” and a “let’s see what happens later down the track, for now it’s just nice to be around friends” ‘cause even that is just super new territory for her
which I worry will make people feel cheated, but also, I think it’s the ending for this subplot that would make the most sense for where the characters are at and would be the most fitting c:
and secondly there’s like
hm. ok
well, there WAS a vaguely jokey post I made yonks back where I pitched the idea of an ATDAO polyamory ending being just like. Alice who’s dating Noa who’s dating Shara who’s dating Kai who’s dating Tris. and I stand by this being solid as hell. but also, given the ending to Noa’s subplot with Alice, it doesn’t really work in the story canon, n though I think Noa and Shara is a dynamic I really enjoy, it would likely not actually play out in reality :P
which leaves the trio of Shara, Kai and Tris, a trio I’ve always vibed with and had vaguely on my radar as a valid poly ending but for some reason didn’t twig that I could just, like, make it canon and no one can stop me LMAO
but yeah, this one, like I said, it’s not so much aHD whole big subplot, it’s just something that falls into place super casually and is never really brought up beyond “oh is this a thing that’s happening?” “yeah” “cool ok”
I think there’s a brief window as a reader where you might be like “ugh this is gonna be a stupid love triangle or some weird jealousy thing” but then it just ends up being a complete non-issue. there’s basically zero romantic drama for this plotline, Tris and Shara are bros and Kai is dating both of them
n as for your question itself, it depends on whether you mean, like.......... how they would go about expressing to someone else that they have romantic feelings or, like, how they express their affections in a romantic scenario
‘cause for the former, the answer for both Tris and Noa is just.... they don’t
Noa because at the start of the story she views her crush on Alice as a huge fucking inconvenience that’s going to make things messy and complicated, so she just tries to ignore her romantic feelings as hard as she can (obviously this doesn’t last hahaha). but yeah, she’s just very pissed off that she has a crush and doesn’t want to acknowledge it :P she also has no idea how to respond when Alice expresses romantic interest in her, this is all extremely new territory
and Tris because he doesn’t realise he’s even experiencing romantic feelings in the first place?? like. the boy has so much baseline anxiety jitteriness that stuff like, idk, feeling your heart pick up pace, butterflies in the stomach, any kinda social nerves you get around the people you like, etc, he experiences this with Kai and is automatically just like “great now you’re here and I’m having a panic attack can you please leave”
just slaps a label of Bad Vibes onto it then later is like Wait A Minute
but yeah, I think neither of them would be super comfy actually expressing their feelings out loud or making that first move, Noa because she’s super fuckin petty and stubborn and Tris because he’s waaaaaaaay too fuckin socially anxious for that shit are you kidding
in terms of how they express their affections though??
so like. I have to reiterate that I’m aro and ace and I have a lot of difficulty in articulating what makes a romance A Romance, like??? I have relationships that are friendships and relationships that are romantic, but I myself don’t really experience romantic attraction in the way other people do
as such, the way I write characters in their romantic expressions tends to be just an extension of how they act in their friendships? which I think is a pretty ok thing to base a romance off anyway, but like, yeah, romance, this is a mystery to me for the most part, do I look like I know what a romance is
anyway I think once Alice and Noa get a little closer there’s a lot of good-natured ribbing and friendly insults, n since they already had a bit of a rivalry going on beforehand I would imagine this competitive streak doesn’t disappear :P Noa is generally uncomfy with being Openly affectionate and soft with others, so I think there would be a lot of more “indirect” ways she shows this care. I think they have the kind of relationship where from an outside perspective you don’t really get how it’s warm and affectionate, but it’s just ‘cause you don’t know the lingo, right
Tris is just the cheerleader type in all friendly relationships I think, lots of encouragement and hype and compliments and enthusiasm, he’s very excitable and very easily impressed hahahaha. though I think it takes people a while to click that he’s legitimately being 100% earnest and genuine, the constant deadpan does not work super well in his favour
anyway I’m gonna hop back up for a sec so I can cover Shara and Kai real quick
these two are............ a bit more direct with actually verbalising their feelings to people? Shara is a socially anxious type, but also not someone who enjoys beating around the bush, n she generally likes to just speak what’s on her mind and be direct with others whenever she can. Kai just kinda........ I mean, I don’t think they consider romantic affections to be a super big deal? at least in theory? I say in theory ‘cause, like, I think they give the impression that this kind of conversation is just super smooth and easy for them, and on the inside they’re like “it’s really not a big deal it’s just feelings it’s whatever” but they’re still anxious about it and had to hype themself up for like a week before going through with it lmao
but ye, in terms of how they express their affections, they’re both fairly similar. you suddenly will just Not Be Able To Get Rid Of Them, they’ll constantly be hanging around in the same space or dragging you into whatever shenanigans they’ve got going on, I think for both of them their favourite expression of love is just sharing in experiences or sharing the same space, just Being Involved And Around
a “hey come help me run errands” type or a “I’m gonna hang off the back of your sofa while you’re studying and sometimes slingshot balls of paper at you with a rubber band” type :P
and now I have to go on Another Tangent just ‘cause the subject matter is vaguely relevant and idk where else I’m gonna go on this tangent
there is definitely some part of me that’s still super super fond of the idea of Kai being aro??? and I initially did write them as such, but for the moment this is not something that’s remained canon in text ‘cause I’m a little bitch ‘cause like
Kai would be aro in very much the same way I am, which is to say, they’re a person who is extremely full of love and who has difficulty in differentiating what the step is supposed to be between friendship feelings and romantic feelings, so, someone who may not necessarily “get” what makes a romance a romance or experience any feelings different from a strong friendship, but who is still open to being in a romantic relationship
(the difference between us being that Kai Really Really Likes People and enjoys being close with others as much as possible, where I’m more the awkward standoffish hermit type lmao)
but yeah, I was kinda like. well. despite being a perfectly valid aro person in a romantic relationship myself, if I were a fictional character people would probably call me bad rep HAHAHA. like “yeah they’re apparently aro but they don’t really ACT aro and the author put them in a romantic relationship ://”
and while I think there’s value to be had in fiction in exploring the different ways a person can be aro, I just, like................... thought about the hypothetical future discourse and was just like UGH. I cannot be fucking BOTHERED
I get enough people in real life being like “ok but you’re not REALLY aro like why do you even bother having that label it’s not like it matters in your context” even though I’m the goddamn expert on my own experiences you bastards
lmao
but yeah I think aro Kai is canon in my heart hahahaha. and they may end up articulating some of the same feelings, maybe just not with the label applied, who knows
anyway that’s my rambles done I think! thanks for reading n have a nice night c:
#Anonymous#i started to ramble then i was like#oh man i better keep this short actually and try and get through this quick and then by the end of it i was#back to rambling#it's fine#i would go into more detail abt the relationships themselves but i think. this reply is super lengthy as is :')#i think i have been on some rambles abt shara and kai in the past?? but idk if i could find those to link them lmao#atdao#there's an only tangentially relevant ramble about being aro right at the end#cuz its like. im aro and i feel this in my heart but also#*gestures vaguely*#anyway g'night team
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10 and 55 for the relationship ask thingy??
Thanks! 😍❤️
10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I already answered this one, but it's buried in reblogs, so I'll answer again:
Nope! I don't believe in love at first sight outside of fiction (although I love me some cheesy tropes in fanfic and movies), and I am, in fact, very opposed to the idea because of real life experiences with a very toxic person (read: my abuser) who did believe in love at first sight and soulmates and made some BAD decisions because of it that affected me growing up.
I do believe in crushes at first sight, though! I don't have to know anything about a person to feel attracted to their looks, or voice, or way of talking, or smile, or whatever 😂
Although, I did ramble a while ago about how we as a society consider crushes, friendships, and family love inferior to True, Romantic LoveTM, which is the one I interpret the question to be asking about. So if we include crushes in the category of love, then you could say I do believe that a form of love can happen at first sight. Just...not the love you feel for a partner or a friend, because that takes time, trust, communication and commitment!
55. Share a relationship story.
This one's silly, but in relation to the previous ask...
A few months ago, @paoak and I were casually eating cherries in her kitchen and we had the following conversation out of the blue:
“What cherries do you prefer?”
“The lighter ones, and you?”
“The darker ones”
“Yay, we're soulmates!” *high five*
😂 I love sharing relationship stories, sorry about the shortness of this one!
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