#people. looking at me when im in the bathroom stall and that kind of thing. handing me my T and calling me 'she' to the other pharmacists. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eggcompany · 2 months

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Timmy the Bear

Ziva finds Tony regressed in the bathroom and calls McGee for help. Tony likes Timothy, a lot. Tony unhappily lets Ziva and Tim take him home but by the time they get there he's already fully regressed! Tim's caregiver instincts take over and he takes care of Tony. Very fluffy and sweet!

“Oh no. No no no.” Is all Ziva heard before she opened the door to an empty bathroom.

“DiNozzo, what’s wrong?” The woman asked as she turned and looked for the senior agent. She heard some shuffling and she ducked to look under the stalls. She saw one foot struggling to not slip off the edge of the toilet and onto the floor. She heard a sniffle and then a swallow.

“Tony?” She said and stood in front of the stall and knocked.

“Z-Ziva... go away. Go away.” Tony said and cleared his throat. His voice sounded lower, like it was forced. Ziva’s eyebrows scrunched together.

“Tony, are you alright? Abby found a fingerprint. Why have you been in here for so long?” Ziva said and looked in the cracks of the door. She saw Tony wiping at his face and looked scattered.

“I’m fine! Go away! I don’t need help, go away!” Tony said before looking up and locking eyes with Ziva. He turned forty shades of red. Tony almost let out a whine but he flipped the lock open on the door.

“Tony what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Ziva asked as she pushed open the door. She could tell something was wrong but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

“Nothing... I’m fine.” Tony said and stood up and fixed his shirt and trousers. He pushed Ziva out of the way and washed his hands. Ziva watched him closely for a moment. But when Tony turned the water on without pulling up his sleeves Ziva knew that there was an issue.

Tony threw his hands up in the air and let out a whine. He looked so upset.

“I can’t do anything right! I give up!” Tony said and tears started to flow again. He sunk down onto the floor, head in his hands. Ziva walked over and crouched down in front of him.

“What’s got you so upset? Is this- is this a classification thing? Do you need something? I’m calling Gibbs and taking you home. You cannot work like this DiNozzo.” Ziva said and pulled out her phone. Tony didn’t even argue. He had been fighting headspace all day and he was so tired and he just wanted to go home and sleep with his bear.

“‘Kay...” was all Tony said as he pulled his knees to his chin and cried. He was uncomfortable and hot and his sleeves were wet and he was tired and life was just against him today. He had paid days off for this kind of thing, for the days he struggles to stay afloat.

He heard Ziva speaking distantly but didn’t pay attention. He just sat on the icky bathroom floor and cried, drowning in his own self pity.

“Tony? McGee is coming to help get you to my car.” Ziva said and rubbed at the top of Tony’s back. Tony nodded but then froze McGee

“No! No, keep McGee away! I can... I can make it to a car by myself! I don’t need Tim. I don’t want him!” Tony said quickly as he stood, wobbling. Ziva stood and grabbed a hold onto his elbow.

“Why? Tony, why don’t you want Timothy’s help? He won’t judge you, we know you are just having an off day. Tim’s your friend, let him help.” Ziva asked and looked very confused. Tony and McGee always joke around with each other. Why was Tony being so... off?

“Don’t wan ‘im to see me! No no no!” Tony said and pulled his arms around himself. Ziva shushed him and nodded.

“Okay, okay. Well if you think you can walk past everyone and make it through the parking lot to my car then you are free to do so. I’ll call McGee and tell him you don’t want him. One moment.” Ziva said and pulled out her phone. Tony stomped his feet out of frustration.

“Noooo I like McGee but I don wan ‘im see me all... ugly faced.” Tony said and looked at himself in the mirror. His face was all splotchy and snotty and icky from crying. He felt ugly.

Tony always had that problem. Thinking people seen him as ugly or undesirable since few people actually liked him and not just wanted to fuck him.

Ziva sighed. Tony’s anxiety. Of course it worsened when he was regressed.

“I’m almost there, Ziva. One sec.” came through the phone before the ex-Mossad agent could say anything else. She looked back at Tony who had his arms wrapped around himself swaying.

“Tony, McGee is alright here so just let him help you and let’s get you to the car. Come on.” Ziva said and tried to usher the man to the door. However Tony wasn’t budging toward the door.

“No! No! No Timmy, no no no!” Tony said in a panic and tried to get back to the corner stall where he had first been hiding. Ziva followed him and blocked the door so it wouldn’t close but Tony was able to curl up on the toilet so nothing could've been seen.

“Tony, you are acting out! Timothy is only trying to help you. I do not see a reason you’re not letting him help y-“ Ziva was saying in a fussing tone. She was cut short by the door being flung open.

“Ziva? Where’s Tony? What’s going on... Tony, what’re you doing?” McGee rushed into the bathroom. All Ziva had said was “somethings wrong with Tony. Come to the bathroom, now”. Tim didn’t know what to expect. Well he definitely didn’t expect to see the senior agent crying curled up on the toilet lid.

Tony buried his face into his hands and tried to squeeze himself into a ball. Ziva just gestured toward the regressor.

“He said he liked you but he didn’t want you to see him but I can not handle him. He’s too big and too far gone for me to get him to my vehicle. Gibbs already gave us an okay for the day.” Ziva said and Tim watched the other man cry.

“Tony? Anthony, are you alright? Do you need to go home to bed? You know me and Ziva can take care of you. Why don’t you just let me carry you out to the car? Would that be alright? I’ll take the back way so no one can see. Tony, are you already under?” Timothy said in a soft, kind voice. It stroked something in Tony. It always did when he spoke like that. So caring and soft. Caregiver voice. Daddy voice.

Tony whined and wiggled a bit. He slipped just further. Almost to his deepest regression. Almost to the point of him needing a bottle. Almost to the point of him having... those urges. He barely even heard when Ziva snapped at an agent for entering the restroom.

“Tony, please. Just let me drive you home. I just need to know you got there safe. On the way maybe you could tell me what got you so upset?” Tim asked. He was really concerned. Tony never acted like this. When he was having a day where he kept slipping he usually would just have Gibbs drive him home. Tony never has had an... outburst, like this before.

“nonononono da-um Timmy can't see my house. Nonono. Ziva cam see house. I wanna go home!” Tony whined. He felt too much. Too much bad. He liked the younger agent, liked him a whole lot. He knew it was okay to like caregivers that were younger but still... The urge to call him daddy and depend on him made Tony feel... gross. Wrong. Everything felt wrong right then. Tony felt like his world was crumbling around him and all he wanted was his bear.

Tony bought the bear himself. He told the cashier that it was for his nephew but no. It was a nice big brown teddy bear made from a soft polar fleece. He wanted a small lowkey toy but... it just made him feel big and awkward. Seeing the small toys in his big hands wretched him from littlespace. Plus when he saw the bear he couldn’t leave it alone.

Now the bear sits on his bed and gets cuddled every night when he’s home. At first he didn’t have a name for it until he kinda fell for the probbie officer. So he’s Timmy the Bear. And he’s the only source of comfort in Tony’s crazy life. Timmy the bear is a constant.

The caregiver tried to convince Ziva to just let Tony cool down before taking him home but Ziva refused. Tony needed a safe environment. A safe clean environment is what she said after McGee suggested just locking the bathroom door.

“He’s scared, McGee. Massad took all my instincts away. You comfort him. You’re the one he likes. Has for the entire time I’ve been here. Just hold him, or something.” Ziva said frustrated and shoved McGee into the bathroom stall.

Timothy sank to his knees in front of the regressed agent. He pulled Tony’s ankles till his legs were down. He placed his hands on Tony’s knees.

“Tony... are you scared of me seeing your house?” Tim asked quietly in the gentle loving tone. Tony whimpered and looked up from under his eyelashes. He shook his head after a moment.

“Okay... are you uncomfortable with me coming to your house?” Tony shook his head again and looked away.

“Alright, good job, are you uncomfortable with me touching you?” Tony waited a moment before turning a bright red and shook his head, he never looked at McGee.

“Can you tell me why you don’t want me to help you home?” Tony whined and wiggled. He flipped his toes over each other and sniffled.

“don’ wanna slip and say somefing bad.” Tony mumbled into his hand that held his face. He just flashed his eyes up. Tim nodded.

“Can you tell Ziva what you don’t want to say? Then maybe you won’t say it if you slip.” McGee suggested. He was hatching a plan. Tony nodded and looked up.

Ziva stepped up and Tim went and stood by the door. He would be able to hear what Tony says.

Ziva bent down so her ear was close to Tony’s face. Tony scooted forward and whispered rather loudly.

“I don ‘anna um call Timmy Daddy on accident. I fink if I slip I’ll do it... don’t wan him think ‘m gross cause ‘m older den him.” Tony said and started to tear up again. He sniffled and rubbed his face with his sleeves.

“That’s not gross Tony, lots of people have relationships where the Caregiver is younger. Why don’t you just let McGee take you home and if you slip he can help you. Okay?” Ziva said and looked over at McGee. Tony sniffled again and whimpered.

“You sure he won kick me out on woad? Cam’t walk home.” Tony said and Timothy’s heart hurt. Poor baby. Ziva shook her head.

“Timothy would never. Just let us get you home. Come now. Up.” Ziva said and Tim made his way over.

Tony was pliant enough. He let McGee hold his hand and guide him out to the back walkways. He let McGee hold his hand the whole time they walked to Ziva’s car.

While Tim sat in the back with Tony he let the little rest his head on his shoulder. Tony almost fell asleep. Today had been so stressful! Tony was almost asleep by the time they came up to his apartment. The car had rocked him gently into his full headspace.

“Tony, I’m going to pick you up. You can sleep as long as you need. I’ll stay until you wake up.” Tim whispered as he pulled the barley awake agent up into his arms. Tim lifted him up like a princess or a bride. Tony tucked his arms in and nuzzled into Tim’s shirt.

‘ Smells nice so warm so nice so gentle mine he’s mine now he takes care of me daddy daddy dada daddy ’ floated around Tony’s sleep muddled little brain. Tony hummed and smiled. He was too far gone to even register that his pockets were being ransacked by Ziva or that he was being laid down.

He did let out a loud whine when he was pulled away from daddy though, when he was pulled away from Tim.

He opened his eyes to look around but he just saw Tim smiling down at him. Tim and Ziva worked to quickly get him out of his shoes and jacket and slacks and button up. Soon he was left in his undershirt and his cute blue briefs that had little flowers on them. He never wore anything that outwardly showed off his classification but he did enjoy his cute little underwears.

“Look at him. He’s so... cute. Strangely cute. Like a baby bear. I’ll scavenge for some clothes, you keep him company.” Ziva said as she put the clothes Tony had on into a basket that had other clothes in it.

Tim nodded and looked down at the tan man on the bed. He did kind of feel the need to hold him. And wrap him up in a blanket and rock him and watch him fall asleep and kiss his head and tickle his tummy and watch him laugh.

“Hi” Tim said and moved so he could stroke through Tony’s hair. Tony smiled and rubbed his head up against the warm hand that moved to hold his jaw and rub across his cheekbone.

“Daddy!” Tony said and reached up and grabbed Timothy’s jacket collar. Even feeling so small he was still very strong. McGee could barely stop himself from being pulled onto the little. He ended up leaned over the little with one knee on the bed and his other foot on the floor, caging Tony in with his arms. His hands splayed out near the sides of his head.

Tim smiled at the name. He didn’t expect Tony to just say it. Then again Tony was fully regressed...

“Woah, Tony! Be careful. I’m heavy. Do you want me to hold you or something?” Tim promoted. He needed Anthony to say it. Tony smiled and hugged him around the shoulders. DiNozzo shoved his face into Tim’s neck.

“I ant nap. An my bear! Where bear go? Hims not on my beb?” Tony said and started to look frantic as he whipped around to look for his bear. Timmy bear always sat on his bed! McGee sat up on his knee and looked around. Ziva had tossed the bear off the bed by accident. Tim grabbed it and held it up.

“This bear?” Is all he said and Tony grabbed the big soft toy and snuggled it close to his face.

“Timmy Bear!” Tony called out when he brought his legs up to cage in the toy. It was big enough to cover his entire torso.

Tim blushed. What had Tony just called this bear?

“Uh Tony, what’s your bear’s name?” Timothy asked and moved so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. Tony smiled and rubbed his hands up and down the bear's stomach.

“His name Timmy Bear after you cause I gets to sleep wif Timmy Bear but not you so hims makes up for it.” Tony said and smiled. Tony then breathed deeply and yawned.

Tim didn’t respond for a moment. Tony had actually went and bought a bear just to name it after him to cuddle it? That’s… that’s such a little thing to do. That’s something a little would do.

It then finally really dawned on Timothy that Anthony DiNozzo was in fact a little. A regressor. And that not only was Tony a little but had affixed himself to Tim so much to go out and buy what seemed like the only stuffed animal he had.

“Can I get ma blankies? ‘M awful cold.” Snapped Tim out of his. Tony shivered a bit. The younger man pulled back and noticed that the blankets Tony was laying didn’t look too… Well like something a little would want to snuggle up with.

“Do you have any other blankets? Softer ones maybe?” Tim asked and Tony yawned again and pointed toward a box that was sitting hidden by his desk. Tim nodded and walked over to it.

The box was actually just a cheap plastic bin that was about two and a half feet tall, a foot wide, and a foot and a half deep. It was pretty well hidden between the wooden desk and the wall. Tim popped open the lid, he sighed. Of course Tony hid everything like this.

The probational officer pulled out the two soft black blankets, the brown teddy bear hoodie, but left the small box that sat in the bottom which seemed to hold more… babyish supplies.

Tim brought down the three items back to the bed where Tony was still laying sleepily holding his bear. Ziva walked back holding a pair of sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt.

“I think this is the visitor bedroom. All his clothes are in the other room and it is much more… DiNozzo-ed. Do you think he would like it better there?” Ziva said as she looked at Tony but spoke to McGee. Tony frowned.

“I ‘anna sleep here wif daddy. ‘M too tired. Don’t ‘anna be big boy.” Tony grumbled and whined. He looked up at Timothy.

“Well Ziva I think I can manage. You can go back to the office. I’ll probably come in tonight and do paperwork. Tony seems… like he just needs me. Not that you didn’t help! You helped a lot!” Tim said and tried not to smile as he looked down at the regressed man. It sparked something in his chest to be wanted.

“Okay. He obviously only cares about you anyway.” Ziva said and marched back to her car.

Tim sighed and looked at the clothes. Just the hoodie and sweatpants would probably be okay. He took off his shoes and slipped off his jacket. He sat down next to Tony’s chest and grabbed the hoodie.

“Tony, sit up so I can get this over you. Move your bear.” Tim said and patted Tony’s shoulder. Tony whined and sat up.

“No you lays down too. You need to just pull the blankies up.” Tony explained and pointed to the blankets that were left at the end of the bed. Tim laughed a bit.

“Tony, you have to put clothes on and then you can go to sleep. You can put on your hoodie and then you can have the blankies. Now come on pants too.” Tim explained as he slipped the hoodie over Tony’s strong chest. Tony whined and pouted and looked up at Tim through his eyelashes.

“Fine” is all Tim said before he sat down over Tony’s feet. He grabbed the little’s ankles and made it so his knees were bent and his feet were flat on the bed. Tim grabbed the pants and scrunched them up. He slipped each of Tony’s feet through the rings of elastic.

He then pulled Tony’s legs straight and flat and pulled the pants up until they were to his tan thighs. Tony smiled and looked up at him. Tim then realized that he was leaning over the senior agent in a rather intimate way. Tim blushed and continued.

He stood on his knees and grabbed both of Tony’s knees and pulled them up to sit on his shoulder so he could slip the pants up over his butt. Tim got the elastic waistband to sit at Tony’s hips and let his legs back down.

Tony giggled and pulled his bear back to his chest. Tim just shook his head and pulled the blankets up.

Tim turned to go sit in the bedroom until Anthony woke up again but he was stopped by a sniffle and whine. When he turned Tony was crying and squeezing the bear close to his chest.

“Tony? What’s wrong? Too hot?” Tim asked as he looked around. The curtains blacked out the sunlight and the room wasn’t too too warm. Tony sniffled again and shoved his face into the bear and murmured something. Tim walked closer to him.

“What?” He said in a light gentle tone. Tony looked at him again and stuttered as he spoke.

“I knew daddy didn’t love me back. They always leave. Always.” Tony started to get choked up and cried harder. Tim’s heart broke for him. ‘ They always leave’ there had been others. Tony had other people leave him. Tim wasn’t leaving. Nope. Couldn’t.

“I’m not leaving. I’m not. Here let me, let me in.” Tim said and scooted his way so he was laying beside Tony who smiled. Tony climbed onto him so the little’s head was on Tim’s chest and his chest was resting against Tim’s stomach and Tony could wrap his arms around Tim.

The younger man stroked through Tony’s hair.

“Daddy loves me back! Now can… Will dada hold me to sleep?” Tony said and looked up nervously at Tim. Tim smiled and pulled Tony so their legs were twisted together and they were chest to chest and Tony’s head was over Tim’s shoulder.

“Is that okay? Are you okay to sleep now?” Tim whispered and pulled the blanket up to the little’s shoulders. Tony hummed and melted into Tim. Soon enough he was snoring and breathing deeply.

Tim didn’t mind. He didn’t mind when Tony woke up and gruffly asked for oatmeal and some ‘ fucking ibuprofen’ . He didn’t mind Tony awkwardly thanking him. And he didn’t mind Tony emailing him much later if he was okay with maybe sometime helping him again sometime.

#egg_company #fanfic #ncis #ncis fanfiction #anthony dinozzo #timothy mcgee #ziva david

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lost-jams · 10 months

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Hello there

pairing — jimin x female reader

genre — fluff (with a bit of sexual stuffs huhu)

::If I was given the choice to re-live my life, well I dont think I would make any choices that would differ from the previous ones...because all of them led me to you::

I look myself over one more time in the mirror. I used to wear my hair above the shoulders with edgy bangs, but it's grown a lot in the last couple of years. And not without reason. I brush my fingers through the long, dark strands of hair that I've trained to cover most of the left side of my face. I pull the sleeve of my left arm down to my wrist and then pull the collar up to cover most of my neck. The scars are barely visible like this, and I can actually stomach looking at myself in the mirror. I used to think I was pretty. But hair and clothes can only cover up so much now. I hear a toilet flush, so I turn quickly and make my way to the door before the woman can exit the stall. I do what I can to avoid people most of the time, and not because I'm afraid they'll stare at my scars. I avoid them because they don't stare.

The second people notice me, they look away just as fast, because they're afraid to appear rude or judgmental. Just once it would be nice if someone looked me in the eyes and held my stare. It's been so long since that's happened. I hate to admit that I miss the attention I used to get, but I do. I exit the bathroom and head back toward the booth, disappointed to still see the back of my father's head. I was hoping he would have had some kind of emergency and been required to leave while I was in the restroom. It's sad that I'd rather be greeted by an empty booth than by my own father. The thought almost makes me frown, but I'm suddenly sidetracked by the guy seated in the booth I'm about to walk past. I don't usually notice people, considering they do everything in their power to avoid eye contact with me. However, this guy's eyes are intense, curious and staring straight at me. My first thought when I see him is, "If only... this were two years ago."

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Its happening again...they are fighting again sighing i look at my mirror "ugh...i need a hair cut" grabbing my car keys I jogged towards the front door, silence...perhaps they finally noticed me "I'll be back in awhile" i told them while putting on my shoes. " Eat something before heading out, come" i finally looked towards my mother, her eyes they are red...so was my fathers, Are they finally letting themselves go? maybe. "No im not hungry" i opened the door.

Would my present be different if i lisened to my mother? Do i want things to be different?

________________________________________________________________________________

I want to break out in a sprintin order to get his eyes off me, or if I should walk in slowmotion so I can soak up the attention.His body shifts as I begin to pass him, and his stare becomestoo much all of a sudden. Too invasive. I feel my cheeks flushand my skin tingle, so I look down at my feet and allow myhair to fall in front of my face. I even pull a strand of it intomy mouth in order to block more of his view.

Just a fewmoments ago, I was thinking about how much I miss beingstared at, but now that it's happening, I just want him to lookaway.Right before he's out of my peripheral vision, I cut my eyesin his direction and catch a ghost of a smile. Maybe he didnt see my scars...

It annoys me that I even think this way. I used to notbe this girl. I used to be confident, but i guess the accident broke every ounce of my self-esteem. I've tried getting it back, butit's hard to believe someone could ever find me attractivewhen I can't even look at myself in the mirror. Ugh.

"As i was saying, I think u should organise a fan meet and stop being an annonymous writer, people want to see u" i tear my eyes from my father to the coffee sitting on my table untouched. "I'm not ready" i heard a sigh. "it has been two years" i shiffted on my sit uncomfortable...my fathers hand reached out to me grabbing the sides of my face, they were so warm. "take as much time u need...im here" nodding m head i smiled but i dont know why i felt so heavy in my heart...it was so heavy. "i think i have an idea for my new poetry" believe me or not but the only good thing after the accident happening to me was me becoming a writer, I didnt know what came in me one day i decided to write a poetry and publish it and it became a best seller.

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I should've slept last night i cant think straight, was this always the road i took, God i swear sleep-deprived driving is far worse then drunk driving, I feel my eyes closing...I try to keep them open I see a little girl crossing the road and........CRASH............

blood...everywhere whats going on?

HELP I CANT MOVE...SOMEONE HELP

i want to scream but nothing comes out is it the end

i hear footsteps with sirens...am i getting help?

please help me...I want to live

i feel someone pulling me out of the car, i feel his hand on my neck, he was slapping my cheeks....i wanted to open my eyes to make sure the girl was ok, was she ok? is she alive? what happened i dont remember....

beep......beeep...beep....

My eyelids feel so heavy, i wanna sleep if i open my eyes i have to face the consequences im not ready but i dont wanna die away...Looking arround i see my father on the right side of my bed, Why cant i open my left eye, i try to get up...im covered in bandages, funny i cant feel any pain, im glad im alive.

"Dad" whisperring i poke his hand, he jolts up. Did he not sleep for a week? "U look terrible" he looks like he'll cry any moment now. "You should look at yourself first" how bad can it be?

A week passed by there was no sign of my mother, I was told i hit a pole and the girl lived, i remember her face, she was preety cute. My father says my mother left, i didnt expect much from her but a visit wouldnt hurt right? I just hope my wounds heal faster its super itchy...

A month passed by, its just me and my father we are on our way to my physical therapist so that i can walk again and i dont have to use this stupid wheelchair

We were in the waiting room...whispers...they were whispering about me, poor girl she must be on so much pain. The left side looks so bad. Can't these people tell i can hear them, i opened my ponytail heaving a sigh. i feel heavy...

My therapist told me i should write down my feeling, so....

Whenever the clouds of pain and sadness loomed.

Whenever tears came till the eyelashes,

Whenever this lonely heart got scared,I told my heart, Oh Heart, why do you cry?This is what happens in this world

This deep silence the world has distributed it to everyone, Some sadness is a part of everyone's life, Some sunshine is a part of everyone's life, Your eyes are wet without any reason, Every second is a new season Why do you let go of such priceless moments? Oh Heart, why do you cry?

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"Anyways, we have a meeting with our illustrator this friday be ready" i hum while finishing my coffee. "we should head back" my father said grabbing his things. I hurriedly looked for the guy...just a last glance...he was gone.

Friday came, he is late I took his profile out, Park Jimin....it baffles me that my supposed illustrator gave no picture how will I even recognise him, good thing my father knows this guy, sighing I put my head down...i hate headaches so much...

"Sorry im late" I hear nervous chuckles "you know morning traffics" I look up ITS HIM...THE GUY...ITS HIM... I see the corner of his lips turn upwards, was it me or he was smirking...My father went straight into buisness, everything was so blur, i was just staring at his face, he is beautiful.

He says he has been an illustrator for five years straight, my father seems preety convinced by him, so am i.. If i were to compare the beauty of him and his work, his work wins scoring a homerun for sure. It speaks with such depth that you want to drown in it.

He shook hands with my father, coming right infront of me he offers me his hand...i take it, I feel his thumb brushing against the surface of my skin. Will it be weird to say that i felt excited? I didnt know i was hold my breath till I was inside the car. "I like him" my father utters "Same" I feel my cheeks flushing. I think i might have been single for a while now...

"Are you always like this, flirting with whoever u want?" Jimin snapped his head back to u "I saw u, winking at the waitress" He bit his lower lip...i want to bite it too..his eyes threw a mischivious smile at me, there is something about his eyes, I cant put a finger on it. " Why...you jealous?" i scoffed at that, yes..."why would i be jealous?" chuckling he put his hand on his chest " ouch...i wanted u to be" why would he? "Girls like you are not made for flirting ... they are made for love"

Days passed I was struggling to write, there was something bugging me and the fact that Im alone right now is more depressing, AAAAAA I want to scream, will i have my periods soon? maybe but why am I tearing up there is no reason, God i hate mood swings.

Alchohol...this thing is a fools gold, you know its bad for u but u cant help but have it...and it also turns u into a fool. Why u ask? because only a fool will ask someone to drop by to their house in the middle of the night. With what reason? because they feel lonely. And here i was contemplating what i should say to the person infront of me.

"Would u like a drink?" he narrows his eyes at me "you are lonely" fuck...i dont look a him in the eye. i clear my throat " I just wanted to discuss about..uhh" he puts his head on his hands which is supported by the table as he leans in " Wanna go out?" One look from me was enough for him to take a hold of my hand and drag me outside. Was he always taller then me? I pulled him back "Its late" i smiled at him. "Do u paint?"

And here we are infront of his house, because he thought it'll be great to have a painting date in the middle of the night. Was it a date though? It felt like it. I was sitting infront of a canvas processing what was happening. His Art room reminds me a art museum, paintings everywhere, i dont know what an art museum looks like but i think i got a gist of it. "May i paint u?" Shock was written on my face, insecurities filling me in "I-"

He puts one finger on my lips and he pushes the hair away from my forehead, running hisfingers through it until it's no longer hanging in my face. "Youwear your hair like you do because you don't want people tosee too much of you. You wear long sleeves and collared shirtsbecause you think it helps. But it doesn't." I feel like i might cry. I feel his fingertips graze my jaw and I flinch. "You havethe most incredible bone structure, and I know that's a weirdcompliment, but it's true." His fingers leave my jaw and trailup my chin until he's touching my mouth. "And your lips.Men stare at them because they want to know what they tastelike, and women stare at them out of jealousy because if theyhad lips the color of yours, they'd never have to buy lipstickagain."

His forehead is resting against mine, and I can feel hisbreath crashing against my lips. Jimin steps forward and wraps his arms around me.Everything about him is comforting and warm and I have noidea how to respond. One of his hands meets the back of myhead and he presses my face against his chest.

few days passed by since that day, I decided to put my hair up in a ponytail. My neck it looks nice, i like how it looks...i love it. I get down for breakfast, i smelled pancakes my father turns arround with a plate delight crosses his face when he saw me. "you look good" I didnt know what was this feeling but it surely feels very light, exciting and comforting . I think I know what to write...

The moment seems to flow like a molten sapphire and there's deep blue silence, Neither there is earth below, nor sky above, The rustling branches, leaves are saying that only you are here, Only me, my breath and my heartbeat, Such deepness, such loneliness and me...only me, It all makes me believe in my existence.

There was a girl drowning, but she had a smile on her face, the illustration did match my writing. neighther there is earth below, nor the sky above. smart move Mr Park. My poem got selected for the top ten poems of the year. There were incoming calls of congratutions but I was waiting for a certain person. Without wasting another second i called him "Hello?" i sucked in a long breath "you can paint me"

Fuck....fuck...FUCKKKKK, I am crazy very very very crazy WHO SAYS THAT, YOU CAN PAINT ME WTFFFFFFF. Standing infront of his building i was rethinking my decision, but it was too late UGHHHHHH i rang the door bell.

His stares, i remember them, so intense I wonder why, is it because of his profession? his eye shape? or is it just him? "I like you" shit...he stands up which makes me stand up he takestwo quick steps toward me until his hands are in my hair andhis mouth is on mine. He backs me against the wall and his hands and chest andlips are pressed hungrily against mine. He's gripping my facelike he's afraid to let go and I'm fighting for breath becauseit's been so long since I've kissed anyone, I think I may haveforgotten how to do it right. As soon as a whimper leaves my mouth, he's pressing meharder against the wall. His left hand is caressing my cheekand his right hand is gripping me by the waist, pulling meagainst him.

I feel Jimin's arms wrap around me . He rests hischin on my shoulder. "You having second thoughts?"I shake my head. I'm nervous, but I'm definitely not havingsecond thoughts. Yet."Good "

"Im leaving for the airport in two hours, i agreed for the fan meet" i pause to look at him, he is smiling, im happy that he is smiling, " do you want me to drive u?" oh no...my dad he is driving me ." Uhh my dad...he-''. Dissapointment runs across is face, and i needed to leave now, I DONT WANNA GOOOO. He looked so precious looking like a sad puppy, did i ever mention anything about his chubby cheeks THEY LOOK SO FLUFFY NOW THAT MAKE ME WANT TO BITE INTO IT. control..y/n...control.

He stepsback, releasing me. "I should have taken you to the airport andthen as soon as you got to security, I could have dramaticallycalled out your name and run toward you in slow motion." Hemimics the scene in slow motion, moving in place as hereaches an arm out toward me. "Y/NNNNNNNNNNNN," he says in along, drawn-out voice. "Dooon't Leeeave Meeeee!"I'mlaughing hard when he stops acting out the scene and wrapshis arms around my waist again. "I need to go now"

My father grabs our suitcases and head inside withnot much time to spare before our flight. The airport is stillbuzzing despite it being so late at night. we print my boarding pass,check our luggage, and make our way to security.I try not to think about what I'm doing. How am I going to talk to people I dont know with my amazing social skills. The thought of it makes me want tocall a cab and go straight back to my apartment, but I can't.I have to do this.

"Y/NNNNNNNNNN"

My eyes flick open.I turn around and Jimin is standing at the revolving door. Hebegins running toward me.In slow motion.I cover my mouth with my hand and try not to laugh as heslowly stretches out an arm like he's reaching out for me. He'syelling, "Doooon't goooo yeeeet!" as he moves slowlythrough the crowd of people.People from all directions stop to see what the commotion isall about. I want to dig myself a hole and hide but I'mlaughing too hard to care about how embarrassing this is.What in the world is he doing?When he finally reaches me after what seems like forever, ahuge grin spreads across his face soon he presses his lips with mine.

I looked at my father, he's too surprised to even react. The room feels like it's spinning, so I suck in a huge rush ofair and try not to sway. "I forgot to say I like u too" with that he begins to walk backward and I'm aware of everyone in ourvicinity staring at us, but I can't help but not give a shit. Rightbefore he reaches the revolving door, he cups his hands aroundhis mouth and yells "YOU BETTER NOT GHOST ME AFTER U COME BACK"

I don't think I've ever smiled so big. I lift a hand and wavegoodbye as he disappears. "I like him" I look towards my father. "So do I". Going back to the question that i asked myself Would my present be different if i lisened to my mother? Do i want things to be different? I think i like it this way, Everything happens for a reason, you just need to give it a little time for it to fall on the right track anyways I am loving it for now and im living it aswell...

If you have eagerness in your heart, it means you are alive, If your eyes are filled with dreams, it means you are alive Learn to be free like the wind, Learn to flow freely like the river, Embrace every moment with open arms, See a new horizon every time with your eyes, If you carry surprise in your eyes, it means you are alive, If you have eagerness in your heart, it means you are alive.

And the story continies....

Heyyy I hope you liked the story, feel free to give your opinion on it, this story was inspired by a novel I read on my early teen days, kinda didnt like the way it ended so I made up my own version of it,

Happy reading.

ps: its kinda my first time [HELP (T_T) ]

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cleetus42 · 4 months

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told myself i didnt want to go to school today. i ended up forcing myself to. form was like everything just bubbling. chemistry happened and i looked at what i had been assigned and i just. cried. like i put my headphones on and stayed quiet. wrote some things down. i didnt want to bring attention to myself. i got up to go to the bathroom. dried my tears. came back. they still kept falling. went back in the bathroom. stayed there for who knows how long. i was sad. i think. i considered hanging myself from the little beams above the bathroom stalls. but. i didnt want to traumatize anyone. i stood there. still. in the dark.

A came in briefly but assumed i wasnt in there and left. i could see her silhouette.

W came in and asked if i wanted to talk. i told her i was okay. she said my drawing was cute and she knew i drew it. i smiled. she left after washing her hands.

i stayed there. M asked if i was there. he asked me to step out. i did. told me he'd been around the school looking for me. etc.

i guess i came in because i thought id feel better with like. human interaction. but like. i didnt. i think this whole stop feeling sorry for yourself, look how many people are suffering etc thing doesnt work on me. it makes me foster self-hatred. id rather feel bad for myself to be honest.

i dont really want to think about the rest. i just remember when i got home i kind of just. felt like i was insane. like i needed to be put on some anti-psychotics or something. i dont know. like. cutting my hair made sense to me. going to school and hiding in the bathroom made sense to me. i know on the outside it looked. unhealthy. erratic. but. it made sense to me.

i thought thats all that mattered. i watched beautiful boy. i skipped the shower scene. cried at the end when that woman talked about her daughter who overdosed.

4pm i think i watched waking life. i thought maybe because it had wiley in it it would cheer me up. i liked it. the stuff about free will. dreaming etc. it made me feel like. i dont know. heard? my parents dont really want to hear about any philosophical things i say. my siblings dont really care. i dont have online friends who want to think that deep.

i know im loved. i know that. i just dont know if im seen. like. i long to be understood. i long to not have to mold myself around others. i just want to speak with no filter. say whatever pops into my mind. and have a meaningful discussion about it.

fuck. i feel like nothing i just wrote really spoke from how i actually felt.

why cant i claw out my heart and write with my own blood.

#clee's log ♡

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thefairyquill · 4 months

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this is going to be potentially long and personal, but im going to write it here because there is no space for it elsewhere.

I'm nonbinary. It's a decision I've come to (or, more like, something I've discovered?) a while ago. It took longer than figuring out my sexuality or romantic endeavours (perhaps because those typically involve someone else, and that person can be asked things. I do not have many friends, and of those, all except one are cis).

I didn't know how to tell anyone. I did, in a kind of vague, unsure, mumbley way. The responses were varied. Some just ignored it, some made unsavoury jokes, my one similarly nonbinaried friend gifted me a trans pin, and years later, a nonbinary flag. I keep it hidden, but I do take it out to look at it sometimes. To feel it, and to try not to feel like it's not mine.

I do not like the way I present some days. I wish I could change some things. I wear what I can to flatten my chest. I cut my hair. I practised taking up space when sitting, dropping my voice when I could. I can't use the nonbinary bathrooms at college, because they consist of one separate stall that also happens to be the single wheelchair accessible toilet. Multiple wheelchair users have complained about 'getting lumped in with the gays'. I get double takes in the women's bathrooms.

I tried to go to events with trans people. I was met with a white group of twenty somethings that went to the most prestigious university in the country, majoring in English and History, worrying about clubs and societies and not how they would eat near the end of the month. They passed around a dictionary of gender identities and neopronouns, laughing, chortling about taking internet jokes too far. They invited me to drop in again next Saturday. I had a 10 hour shift that day.

On holiday with a friend, I bought a bright orange 'they/them' enamel pin. I wore it to a different job, on the induction day. After having it go ignored, I took it off. Near the end of my temporary position three months later, I was called into an office with HR and asked about how they could make the construction site and surrounding engineering offices more friendly to nonbinary people. I told them it's an antithesis to the construction site.

I didn't change my name or my pronouns. My name is not English, and all names in the language are gendered- new, gender neutral and anglicised names feel cheap and plastic next to my surname. It's not like either would make a difference, because no one in my circles would use them, and half would make fun. I pretend it doesn't bother me because it's my friends and not malicious strangers on the street. My parents don't and will not know.

Today, meeting up with my friends, one approached me, nervous and anticipatory. He said he wasn't sure when we would meet up again, if it were to be before Christmas, or if it were to be after New Years, or before my birthday in January, and he wasn't sure what to get me- he got a job in his career, he had money now!- but he saw This and was sure it was right.

I opened it later, at a dining table in a restaurant. My friend was worried I wouldn't like it. I said it was a gift from him, so I'd cherish it regardless. A cube of a box, with a bulbously headed figure inside, complete with large, dull black eyes. Haruhi Fujioka, Ouran High School Host Club. It was a surprise, but my eyes panned down to focus on the pale yellow dress the figure was wearing, tied off with a pink ribbon. A special edition without the uniform that made Haruhi look more... like Haruhi. The table was alight with choruses of how much it looked like me, and of my friend proudly explaining that he thought so as well and knew for it to be the correct choice. I couldn't explain the hollow feeling inside my stomach, that seemed somehow both shallower and deeper than the lunchtime hunger.

So this goes here, where they cannot read it, and where maybe someone else will, and will understand.

#quill rambles #im so...#i want to feel seen by this. i really want to. i want it to be an acknowledgement of me.#i like dresses. ive been trying to wear them more now that my hair is short and the dysphoria doesnt bite as meanly #yellow is one of my favourite colours #i like haruhi. i like how she fits into the host club and looks the way i want to #im just....... i dont know anymore. ive given up i think.

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only-lonely-lovers · 4 months

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07.24.2022

tags: dubcon, peeing during sex

notes: it is time to discuss hanako-san of the bathroom

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

あ：Do you-- like do you think that Nene has to repress the fact that she's ever used this bathroom & do you think she decidedly uses bathrooms like on the other side of the school or something

つ：i think she considers asking him about if he's seen her before or remembers her when she started at this school but she has to be like. i cant handle the answer to that actually

あ：Your brain instantly takes you to a day you took a bad dump or something and cried

つ：i do think its a, don't play where you work, situation. I must use different bathroom. we need to maintain an illusion of some kind.

あ：Can't like pee and talk to Hanako during breaks or anything. which is a shame

つ：LIKE SHE CAN'T BE THINKING ABOUT EVERY HUMILIATING BATHROOM TIME girls be eating they lunches in there and like crying and stuff, you know. she be dealing with her first period and trying to scrub blood off her dress…

hanako im sure watches her tawddle off to pee and is like, such a prude nene is….

あ：If that's how it's going to be……………………….. [acts wounded]

つ：I would be fascinated if Hanako had any sort of memory of Nene, but I think he did see people as indistinct blurrs. but all themore reason to just casually perv? I do think its been distilled to like [spaces out, smacks lips] oh this girl's shaved a shape in…. I wouldn't expect that.

[half-lidded] wow, nobody at this school knows this girl is like that. damn those panties are wet. she must have been fantasizing all day. [expressionless]

あ：I have always gotten the impression Hanako is uhhh so not valuing people as individuals its totally possible he has seen Nene before. I mean even when he was getting to know her I think he really saw her as little more than. well like idk her pea eyed fish form. spiritually My respect for you. as if you were just this 🎣

The fact is even a nice memory with Nene in the past is just soo long ago and a blip, only 1 night at tanabata, and he can't retain. i think seeing her at school is like nothing the uniform is a blur At most later he'd be like fuck…. wait that day. when i was looking at a stall and noticed a girls fat ankles

つ：the girls become just a sort of fetish concept. thisis the 1 thing about nene like looking at pussies and panties… nene's got some sort of skull and bones panties. its like oh… funny. uh huh… jesus her legs

あ：[just perched here like a gargoyle seeing]

つ：you can only hope that once or twice he did some kind of spectral thing if he were able, like spookily blow a door a little or some crap. [makes your pee stop] i do this

あ：Not me processing that earlier today i was thinking about Nene peeing during sex

つ：hmmmmmm

あ：today had a theme. FUCK I was the pee pervert

つ：it'd be so easy for nene to be so like WAIT, STOP… HANAKO-KUN and him to be like mmmnooooo no chance. sorryyyyyy. and

あ：Right. This is the thing. no stop doesnt mean anything wjrhgf and she couldn't be like I'M GOING TO. I think it's like frog in throat. but like crying. CMONGH DFJLGH

つ：no way could she say it distinctly. no way

あ：but then it happens and. I mean it's kind of your worst nightmare because he's gonna be like Ohhh……… if he was fingering you its like [spreads your pussy with other fingers]

つ：so thats why… this isn't a good reason to stop.

あ：It's the sort of thing where only later will Nene have to be like. I fucking guess i am fuckign with. hanako of the bathroom.

つ：if anything, psychologically very nice to see Nene's pee sink into the slats of wood and run down the floor. It is my domain and this is my girl

あ：You knowww that's what I wanna see

So often it is Hanako being like ugh sigh rolls eyes… at things Nene and Tsukasa wants, I think it ought to flip for a sec where Nene is like. ofmg. pee pervert hanako-kun!!!!!

つ：it would dawn on her quickly and feel like. donk

あ：sheesh!!!!

つ：BATHROOM…!!! he's so openly like. I succumbed to lust. he's fine with being seen as pee guy

あ：Lol yes In that way its basically canon

つ：he's so far from being like, ew don't be like that.. instead he's like oh you know

あ：tfw. if tsukasa was also there it'd just be two stupid boys being like oh nice

つ：never seen it come out so close before and so open

あ：The objectification. That hanako puts a girl through. where if he was like penetrating he would pull out but hold her by the hips and keep her hovered above, want to feel it drip down over cock. mm yes…. now this i like.

I will teach Tsukasa the opposite of respecting women What Hanako doesn't know is it's like his karma to be the one to pee self in any instances of past shennanies

つ：mmmmmmm pee… if she attempted to stop/freeze at doing it once she fully grasped what was going on, he'd just shove at her and get insistent. Poor nene, it's a gauntlet….

あ：goes. oh cmonnn…. yashiro. [rubs pussy] i'm sorry it is a gauntlet. the way this is a one-sided affair Your mortal body so novel

つ：sadly very vital that Hanako have ego trips of embarrassing her for his pleasure… but he takes joy in the aftercare, too. its the condescension yet care he can lay on thick…. and his willingness to lean into being your sick pervert boy

like ah, you think this isn't what I would want…? Why would you be embarrassed…. I want to see it. It feels good. Nobody else will ever see you like this.

あ：Uhuhm… Bullyish but also cooing excessively, petting… Purring voice talking you through this, but also not stopping anything. ah… you know. I wish Nene could think to compare him to Tsukasa when he's like this… when you get all❤

つ：they are extremely similar when soothing another!

あ：Boys who will creepily run their hands all over you

I do think Hanako just as much likes to watch her cry and then comfort her after… you like inducing all the emotions

#22 #ghosties #chisai

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discotenny · 2 years

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Hallway Breakdown (GI)

<Albedo, Scaramouche> <modern au>

When you have a panic attack in school

Warnings: description of panic attacks, insecurity, implied fem coded reader in Scaramouche’s, shoddy writing im kinda going through something rn lmao

Kind of OOC for both. I just wanted to write some comfort for myself rn. Not edited or read back. Kind of all over the place

Albedo

You can’t focus. You can’t concentrate

Your thoughts are running through your head like countless miles each second. All noise is amplified to an unbearable amount. Each slight physical contact feels like pricks onto your skin

The teacher is giving a lecture, his words pounding in your ears but you cannot understand what he’s trying to say. The breeze from the open window behind you spreads horrible goosebumps along your body. Your vision starts to blur

You grip your pencil tightly, staring down at your paper as you try to stop the tears from coming

You try to be subtle- to try to avoid attention your way- but the boy beside you notices

Albedo sensed something was wrong the very moment you zoned out. Being your seat mate and (what he considered) friend, he wanted to help

It was only the right thing to do. After all, he’s been in your position countless times.

A light tap was heard from your desk, the click of a pen. You saw an object slide into view and after wiping your eyes a bit you realized it was a piece of paper. A note

“Are you okay?”

Albedo watches as you meekly reach towards it, never looking his way. He watches as you contemplate replying. He watches as you scribble words down and quickly pass to back to his desk

“No. I’m not.”

His mouth turns into a frown as he looks to you once more. You’re turned away from him completely, possibly in an attempt to draw away his concern

The click of a pen turns you back a little.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong if you don’t want to. But I hope things get better. I care about you”

You start to tear up at the last sentence, almost reaching your breaking point. It was hard to think that anyone would care. It was surprising to think that anyone actually did

You sit for a while staring at his words, fiddling with the torn corners of the note. Albedo doesn’t push it any further, instead choosing to keep a comforting hand on the side of your desk

The bell rings shortly after and the students disperse from the room. As Albedo packs up his belongings a tug from his sleeve grabs his attention and he looks towards you

You’re wiping your face as you say it, a smile- genuine yet strained- appears on you.

“Thank you… it means a lot that you care”

Scaramouche

You stand in the cramped stall of an empty bathroom. Hiccuping, you try to stifle your sobs by placing a hand over your mouth. Your head is pounding as you’ve just cried out every internal issue plaguing your mind

Even without a mirror you can tell that you’re in no condition to return to class. Your eyes are swollen and your face runs wet with tears

You check the time, 12:32. It’s been 20 minutes since you’ve asked to be excused and people were probably wondering where you were. If they even cared

Scaramouche doesn’t know why he’s doing this (a lie, he just doesn’t want to admit the truth). He called for a bathroom pass a while ago and was now knocking on every bathroom, hoping for a response from you

Sometimes he’d get shooed away by the people inside. Sometimes he’s walk away disheartened as there would be no you inside

You’re swiping at your eyes with crappy 1-ply toilet paper in an attempt to dry them. A harsh pound of the door knocks you out of your daze and you let out a loud “eep!”

From the other side, Scaramouche sighs against the wooden frame and closes his eyes before pushing through

“Y/n?”

You freeze at the sound of his voice. Your best friend- he was the last person who you wanted to see you in this state. An asshole who you know would make fun of you

“I can tell it’s you, you’re the only one who wears shoes like those.”

You stay silent and he deadpans, sighing.

“If you think I’m going to make fun of you I won’t. I almost got slapped in other bathrooms trying to find you here. So please, come out do we can talk.”

His tone is laced with a front of annoyance, hiding away his deep concern. You unlock the stall and meet his eyes. Scaramouche can feel his heart clench at the sight of your distressed state

Your swollen red eyes, your tear stained cheeks, the pain written all over your face. He doesn’t know what to say as the two of you stare at each other

Just knowing someone is looking at you makes you want to cry. But while it normally would’ve been out of embarrassment, you’re desperate for comfort from a familiar face. You’re desperate for something to keep you steady

You take a few steps and Scaramouche is hesitant to reciprocate, but one more look at you and all resolve goes away. He pulls you into a hug, rubbing circles into your form as you wrap around him tightly- sobbing into his shoulder

He lets you stay like that without speaking. He holds you tighter at certain points, primarily when he wants you to really feel like he cares- because he does

Once you’ve settled down a bit, Scaramouche let’s go to look at your eyes. He wipes a thumb on your cheek before speaking

“You mean a lot to me, stupid. If you ever need to talk to someone please come to me. I… I can’t stand seeing you cry”

Bonus

Once he sees you, Thoma hugs you immediately. His warmth envelops you comfortingly. His words share the same energy, saying that you can cry as much as you need to and he’ll still be there

Diluc sits next to you and wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to him. He rests his head onto yours and closes his eyes, trying to think of what to say. No matter what words come out though they all mean the same thing, you aren’t alone

Seeing you cry makes Gorou want to do so himself. He hates seeing you upset and immediately wants to make things right. When you say all you need is comfort, he’s happy to oblige and will lend an ear to your issues and troubles. His touches are soft as he assures you of your worth and meaning to him

Ayato sees your demeanor and frowns. He’s not the most genuine with words but he’s an excellent ear and is willing to listen to anything you say. He’ll offer his hand, asking if you’d like to go somewhere to talk. The smile on his face makes it hard to say no

Yeah idk what I’m doing writing this right now. I just needed a distraction. Sorry if it’s bad lol

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin Scaramouche #genshin Albedo #albedo x reader #scaramouche x reader #diluc x reader #thoma x reader #gorou x reader #ayato x reader

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starbuckie · 3 years

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𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠

pairing(s): college!peter parker x reader, dark!steve rogers x reader, dark!sam wilson x reader, dark!bucky barnes x reader

words: 8.1k words

warnings: DARK!FIC, SMUT 18+ (unprotected sex, foursome turned fivesome, gangbang, non-con/dub-con, daddy kink, oral M and F-receiving, spit kink, degredation kink, praise kink, creampie), age-gap (reader is in her early 20s), cheating, angst, there’s like zero fluff

summary: peter should’ve made it back to the tower for date night on time, or maybe just before he found his girlfriend being fucked by three other superheroes.

a/n: eee my first dark fic! im so so happy with the way this turned out, and even though it was a pain in my ass for nearly three months, im so hapy to share it with y’all. this idea was brought up by an anon from @mypoisonedvine’s saturday sleepover a few months back, but i switched up tony and sam bc i didn’t like the tony and peter stuff. hopefully my smut has improved from the first time i wrote it in january, and just a reminder that in no way, shape, or form do i condone rape of any kind. there’s a large difference from the page and the real world. i try to put all tw’s in the tags and warnings, but if there was something i missed please tell me. thank you to my lovely bestie @mermaidxatxheart for beta-reading(i have no fucking clue what i’d do without your help). feel free to leave a comment or two and reblog, but don’t repost anywhere or i will hunt down your ass. thank you again and please please enjoy <3

main masterlist || mcu masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist

Bucky wasn’t planning to fuck Y/N as soon as he saw her.

It started with a faint mention, something Tony had thrown around along the lines of, “Parker’s bringing his girl down here tomorrow, don’t be an asshole”. He didn’t give a damn what Tony said or how he acted around Peter’s girl. Years of being thrown between gruesome mind-wiping and being half-dead, asleep in a freezer would do that to a man.

So the next day when Peter brought his girlfriend in, he was scratching his ass like a fucking ape and downing a beer with a messy bun at the nape of his neck, until he actually saw her. Neat hair, even neater laces with a sweet smile but a body that could kill. Didn’t matter that she was bundled under Parker’s hoodie and a pair of jeans- he could always admire a pretty dame, but Bucky could see that she was beyond that. It was as if God had intentionally made the one being, the one ethereal creature beautiful and angelic enough to be a sin away from him, so that he couldn’t touch her. Because she was young, and in her twenties, and that shouldn’t have even been the first two things that popped up in his mind because she was also Peter’s girlfriend.

But then she had the audacity to stick her hand out, a shy grin and twinkle in her eyes as she gave her name. It sounded so pretty rolling off of her tongue, and he wondered what it would sound like while he groaned it into her cunt.

Y/N.

So, yeah, maybe Bucky wasn’t planning to fuck her as soon as he met her, but it was pretty damn close after.

Steve Rogers was one of very few men who said they had the pleasure of banging nearly every woman on the north side of Manhattan. Bucky indulged in the fact that the man who had once been too shy to do so much as meet a gal’s gaze was now “a dollar whore”, but he was more than happy to keep that title if it meant he could continue to get off in the nearest woman’s mouth everyday.

Every time he walked down the streets of New York with just a simple ball cap and jeans, he could feel stares on his back from what seemed like miles away, girls on every street corner just waiting for him to take her into the nearest public bathroom and fuck them dirty. CEOs, baristas, girls fresh out of getting master’s degrees with stars in their eyes and big dreams, until he shattered them by making them gag on his cock and scream his name into bedsheets. Or tile floors. He didn’t care as long as they were screaming. The girls of this century were just too delectable to turn down. He didn’t discriminate. His dick had been in women of every height, stature, hair color, and he had quite the variety throwing themselves at him as well.

And then Tony ruined it all and sat him down with a simple explanation that the image of Captain America was being tainted with disturbing stories of girls being fucked in the ass and thrown on their knees in dirty bathroom stalls. The blond was beyond pissed when the billionaire told him to stop dicking around, but he couldn’t do anything else if he wanted to keep his title and job. In a new century, even if he’d had a few years to adjust, he was still absolutely oblivious when it came to anything outside of aliens and sex. There was nothing left for him outside of being an Avenger, so reluctantly he agreed to keep his number of conquests to a minimum, and most definitely inside of the tower rather than out on the street.

However, inside of the tower seemed to be no problem at all when Peter brought his girlfriend over, all smiles and straight A’s, and that’s when Steve realized that he’d yet to fuck a bright, little college student. He could see himself stripping her from the innocence in her eyes, loosening up her pussy with his thick cock against the wall in his room.

Surely Tony couldn’t reprimand him for spending a little time trying to bond with Peter’s new girl, right?

Sam Wilson was a simple man. He had a job, a well-paid one at that, somewhere to live, a girlfriend, or a woman to keep him company, that’s for sure- but for once in his life he was seeking out something other than missions, something that would keep him busy when he was feeling bored, something like-

Pleasure, and he knew that he’d finally found what he was looking for the moment Peter brought his girlfriend through the elevator doors on the fifty-sixth level of the Avengers tower. She’d shaken his hand so daintily and spoke so politely that if he were to see her without any backstory, he’d think she was another innocent, dim-witted college student, breaking her bank account every Saturday morning and naively believing that her relationship would last longer than a few months. But by the things Parker had told him, she was much more than that.

Was it shitty of Peter to tell his teammates, the people he worked with, how Y/N was in bed? By the majority’s vote, probably, and by Sam’s strict conduct of his own morals, definitely, but when Peter’s girl looked like that and he was so incredibly bored with his routine?

Well, fuck, Sam had never been happier that the Spider-kid had told everyone how his girl gave head.

Peter brought his girlfriend in daily after that, and every one of her visits, she grew less shy and more friendly, and the Falcon saw each of his friends gape at her growing comfortability with a wolfish demeanor. It started with the water incident with Steve in the kitchen, where he so clearly spilled water on her already thin, white camisole with intention. Sam couldn’t say he was upset though, after all Steve had offered him and the rest of the Avengers quite a show when he tried to clean up her shirt, taking his sweet, sweet time to fondle her tits as subtly as he could, his eyes staring at her pebbled nipples poking through the material. He could see Bucky hiding his boner under his cereal bowl on the couch that day.

Then of course, he’d been no better than America’s sweetheart himself when he greeted Y/N with a hug that in hindsight, was a little too enthusiastic. His large hands squeezed into the pockets of her back pocket, and if the college student found anything weird with it, she didn’t say so, but Sam graciously palmed the round globes of her ass in his hands, feeling the muscle clench under his fingers. Oh, how he’d never hugged someone that tight ever before in his life. Maybe he would’ve gotten a bit further than squeezing her ass had it not been for his own girlfriend standing behind him, ready to introduce herself to Y/N.

Bucky, well, Sam could admit that Bucky had the most guts out of all of them. Though the super-soldier was normally well-reserved and polite, the dark glint in his eyes the day he met Y/N let him in on the secret that he had a much dirtier mind than most thought. It had been movie night that time, and he barely even tried to cover up how much he wanted the girl, his hands resting all over her as they watched Inception. Hardly a movie to get so riled up over, yet Bucky’s hand still inched its way up her thigh, his rough fingers gently carressing the flesh until they started to lightly trace the apex of her thighs.

If she noticed anything then, she didn’t comment on it, doe-like eyes just marvelling at the screen in great intrigue. It was only when Peter’s arms wrapped around her a bit tighter did she scooch away from Bucky’s touch, with a small apology and shy grin.

That only made his dick harder.

On the other side of Bucky, his super-soldier counterpart tapped his knee gently, forcing their blue eyes to meet each other. No words had to be said between the two, three men when they looked over to Sam, because they all recognized that look they saw in each other's eyes; predatory, dark, nearly voracious in the way they all wanted to be balls deep inside of Y/N.

And they would get there. No matter how long it took, they knew that the ultimate prize of tearing their prey apart would be more than worth the wait.

“Hey, babe, I’m gonna be a little late. Ned and I got stuck back in the lab, so we’re gonna need to stay until eight or nine. Can you make it to the tower by yourself alright?”

Peter’s concerned voice made Y/N smile gently as she trudged along the rainy streets of New York. He always loved to worry about her, especially when it was dark and gloomy out, but she could handle herself pretty okay. By pretty okay, of course meant she could kick ass like no other twenty-something year-old, but she wasn’t one to brag. Y/N readjusted the Kate Spade purse on her shoulder with her right hand, attempting to keep her umbrella over her head with the other. “I’ll be fine, Pete, just go finish up and get back to me. I’m gonna be waiting in your room at the tower before you go off on that mission this weekend.”

A small sigh came through the speaker, “Okay, I’ll try to get back to you soon. I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Pete.”

“Oh,” she could hear the shy but no less mischievous smile that was taking over his face, “I left you a little present on the bed, make sure you open it before I get back.”

Y/N’s face heated at the implication. “Peter Parker, you dirty little-” He ended the call with a laugh, and she huffed out a small chuckle at his childish antics.

The walk to the Avengers tower would have been nice, had it not been for the downfall of rain, making everything mushy, socks being absolutely soaked through her sneakers by the time she arrived. The receptionist at the front desk, Jenny, if Y/N remembered correctly, stared at her a little oddly, probably not expecting to see the young college girl in such a state of disorder, but it didn’t affect her at all. She confidently strutted up to the elevator, pressing in the floor number where all the rooms were located. Y/N scrolled through her Twitter feed on her phone while classic rock blared through the elevator with the constant shuffling of people moving in and out. Seven minutes and thirty-two seconds later she was sprinting down the halls with soggy shoes and damp hair, her cold body screaming for warmth.

Peter’s room was the farthest down the hall, and the room was fairly empty. He rarely stayed at his room in the tower, preferring to stay with his Aunt May or keep Y/N company in Brooklyn. When she entered the room, she saw a plain white shirt and a pair of socks strewn upon the carpeted floor, but what really caught her eye was the red box wrapped in a pink bow on the bed. Deciding it would add more suspense if she opened it later, she quickly hopped in the shower, letting the hot water warm her freezing, rigid muscles under the spray.

Peter didn’t have all the products she’d usually use before she knew they were going to have sex, so she had to make do with the half-used bar of Irish Spring and his small travel-sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner, promising the fresh, breezy smell of citrus and mint. It was a quick process; two squeezes of shampoo, shaving with the green soap as best as she could without cutting herself, one squeeze of conditioner. A fuzzy towel sat waiting for Y/N on the rack, with the Spiderman symbol as a prank gift from her to her lovely boyfriend, and without a second to let the heat leave her damp skin, she wrapped herself in it, quickly hopping out to the bedroom again.

The lingerie she set out on the bed was a deep set burgundy color, with lace decorating the delicate corset and the trim of the satin panties. The packaging really did not do it justice. Y/N grinned at the new set, one that she knew would happily be torn from her body later. A shiver ran through her as she let the cold air fall over her skin, carefully slipping the lingerie on. It was a damn shame, really; the set was quite nice, and she reminded herself to buy more of the nicely suiting color for their nights together.

Click.

Y/N’s heart thumped with anticipation as she heard the door open and she took a quick moment to ready herself. Hair in perfect style, legs stretched along the length of the bed to make herself look as seductive as possible, a small smirk thrown on her pouty lips.

But in the darkened room, it wasn’t Peter’s shadow that appeared. Three men, three tall, bulkier men’s shadows appeared at the foot of the bed, and horror washed over her as she realized who they were. “Goddamn, dolly, I’ve imagined what you would’ve looked like under those sweaters, but this is much sweeter than I expected.”

The sinister face of Bucky Barnes came into her view, just a sliver of moonlight lighting up his pale skin. His eyes raked over Y/N’s uncovered skin, and goosebumps appeared as she tried to cover herself up under his predatory gaze.

“W-what are you doing here?” She whispered worriedly. Sam and Steve flanked the bed on either side of her, plastered sickly sweet smiles on their faces, providing her with a false sense of security that made her heart scream in fear. Though she wasn't making any noise, her lungs felt like they were going to give out, her throat closing up like an allergic reaction.

Her head whipped every which way in robotic movement, her brain seeming to fail her as she scanned the room for an exit. Several moments of shortened breaths, cold air chilling her body, before she came out of her freezing shock to realization.

“Why are you here? Please, get out, just g-get out!”

A calloused hand pushed away Y/N’s left arm that covered her tits, and Steve groaned at the sight of her pebbled nipples. “God, baby, they’re as pretty as I thought they’d be. Been trying to feel them up all week, but you knew that, didn’t you?”

Saturday the week before at lunch when he’d spilled water over chest and tried to clean her up. Sam’s friendly hug that became a bit less friendly when his hands slipped into the back pockets of her jeans. The movie night on Monday when Bucky’s hand caressed her thigh a little too close to her core. All of their touches began to make more sense, and her eyes filled with tears at the realization.

“Please,” she begged, tears blocking her vision, “I promise I won’t tell anyone, not even Pete, but please just go.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Steve asked. He grasped her chin roughly, his face close enough to hers so that she could feel his fiery breath on her lips. “We’re not leaving, sweetheart. You’re gonna let all three of us play with your pretty little body, and you’re gonna make the prettiest sounds for us, alright?”

Y/N shook her head violently, too afraid to make noise, but also bold enough to make one last attempt at freedom. The hand that held her chin quickly moved to slap her cheek, and she hated the way the sting made heat stir in her lower belly. She tried to shy away from their touch again, but Bucky’s face simply held the same smirk as he trailed his vibranium fingers up and down her leg.

“Oh, come on, Y/N, don’t act all shy now. Peter has been telling us how good you’ve been to him and don’t think he hasn’t told us about your little childhood crush on little ol’ me. Been wanting to fuck you ever since.” Bucky’s hand quickly left her body, instead moving to palm over the bulge in his pants. “Fuck, sweetheart, got me real hard just thinking ‘bout your pussy swallowing my cock. Bet you’re gonna be a sweet, obedient girl for me, right?”

Fire started to course through Y/N’s veins, and with all the power she tried to dampen it down with, it seemed to push through her body that much more dangerously. She despised the fact that she could feel herself growing wet for the three older men, but God, she had never felt the need to be filled up as badly as she did in that moment.

“You’re a bit of a slut, don’t you think?” Sam mocked. He kneeled on her right, his eyes fixated on her panty-clad pussy, a wet patch already forming on the soft satin. It really didn’t help that three of her teen celebrity crushes were eyeing her nearly naked body like a piece of meat. “I mean, look at you, already growing wet and needy for three cocks. Is that what you want, honey? Parker not treating you good enough?”

She hesitated. Goosebumps rose across her skin at the sinister tone of his voice, like he already knew it was true. And it was true and she hated that Sam was right, but as amazing as Peter was a boyfriend, it was clear from the vibrator hiding in his apartment’s bathroom that he was not amazing in the sheets. Every time, she held hope that it would be better, that she would finally get to stop faking an orgasm before he rolled out of the bed with a filled up condom, but she knew deep down inside of her that it wasn’t happening anytime soon. Y/N forced herself to nod weakly at Sam’s questions, and Bucky chuckled. “Oh, you poor dolly, we’re gonna have so much fun with you. Treat you better than that little boy ever could.”

All it took was a whimper, a nearly audible, deadly silent whimper that managed to squeak its way past Y/N’s throat, and the three men took it as permission to ravage her body however they pleased.

Steve made quick work of his pants as Sam lifted her chin to kiss him, his tongue hot and heavy against her mouth, coaxing her lips open. The sound of belt buckles hitting the floor shamefully turned on Y/N even more. Panic coursed through her senses, her mind wanting to scream for them to stop, but her body knew her too well as she felt a wave of slick run down her thighs. Cold metal digits slipped under the waistband of her panties, moving to her wet folds, and she whimpered into Sam’s mouth at the touch.

“You look so nice, baby, so pretty all laid out for us like this.” Bucky’s hands pulled down her panties as Steve pinched her peaked nipple through the lace, laying lavish, open-mouthed kisses down her torso. The cool air hit her pussy when Bucky’s hands pulled her legs wide open, fully exposed to the three men ready to use her against her will. “Knew you’d be so wet for us, sweetheart, just look at you. Dripping all for your daddies,” Steve murmured against her skin.

Hot breath fanned over her cunt before they rolled her over on her stomach, someone’s hands forcing her up onto her knees with her face smashed into the cotton pillows. She could feel two rough human hands pulling her ass cheeks apart, spreading her ever wider for their view. “Would you look at that, boys, look how fucking hot she is for us.”

Sam’s thick finger ran through her folds, the calloused pad of his finger just teasing her clit before landing a harsh smack to the inside of her thigh. Her moan was muffled through the mattress and she prayed they wouldn’t hear how being treated like whore made her wet like nothing else.

Hot slick dripped down her thighs, a pool of it staining the pristine sheets by each knee. It was quite a sight, Steve, kneeled by the bed as his face hovered next to her ear, whispering filthy things into her ear as Bucky stroked his hard, leaking cock right next to him. Sam’s lips were making their way up the inside of her right thigh, cracked skin gliding across her sticky flesh. “Oh, baby,” he purred, “you smell so good. Bet you taste even better, don’t you, little girl?”

His tongue reached the apex of her thighs, finally licking a stipe up her center with no warning. Y/N sobbed into the comforter below her, mascara stained tears marking up her face. Two fingers edged their way between the bed and her face, forcing her head upwards and arching her back. Steve’s face was caught in a dirty smirk above hers, lip pulled taut between his teeth, until he saw the tears trailing down her face. “Oh, sweetheart, you look so desperate like this.” His fingers traced her smeared lip gloss around her lips, before opening her lips harshly. “Open up, you dumb baby.”

Y/N forced her jaw open wider, just enough to watch a string of Steve’s saliva drip into her mouth. The thick spit pooled on her tongue and she tried hard not to grimace in front of him, in hopes that he wouldn’t make her-

“Swallow it, sweetheart.” He saw the hesitation in her eyes, how her lower lip trembled at his words, but he just laughed at her. “Now.”

The warm saliva slid down her tongue and more black tears ran down her face as she obliged his orders, finally gulping it and cringing at the taste. Steve loved the way her face screwed up in displeasure, how she still had the audacity to pretend she hated what they were doing though she was moaning and whimpering with Sam’s tongue attacking her entrance.

“What do you want, sweetheart? We might give it to you as long as you use your words.” Bucky taunted lightly.

Y/N stared up at the brunette, staring menacingly down at her with his cock in hand. “Please,” she whimpered.

The three found it woeful, the way she could barely get a full sentence out as Sam went to town with his skilled tongue, but even with that onslaught, a simple please wasn’t enough for them.

“Please what, honey,” Sam moaned from between her legs, “you gotta use your big words or we’ll never know what you want from us.”

Steve and Bucky nodded in fake-agreement even though they all knew exactly what she wanted and where.

“I don’t-” her widened eyes glanced into Steve’s, blown-out and teary. “I don’t want anything, not from you.” She lied through her teeth harshly.

Sam removed his head from between her thighs and Y/N immediately whined at the loss of contact almost hilariously. “You don’t want anything, little girl?”

The air felt static, every hair on her neck rising in the pressured silence. The angel and the devil clawed at her heart, each trying to show her what was right. And she wanted to sin, God knew that she would love nothing more than to let that little greedy part of her take over, but she’d already cheated on Peter and that damn good part of her conscience stole the wheels of her brain.

Slowly and shamefully, she shook her head, though the downright dirty monster inside of her wanted the men to ignore her words and keep assaulting her body.

“That’s a shame, baby, I thought we were having fun.” Sam sighed. He met Bucky’s gaze on the side, and though they seemed to be in resignation with her wishes, their eyes twinkled devilishly. He positioned his body over Y/N’s kneeled over form, his bare chest glued to her sweating back as his hands ran up the sides of her ribcage and to her front, just barely grazing over her sensitive nipples. “You mean, you don’t want me to touch you here?”

He pinched the darkened buds and she had to use every ounce of self-restraint to not collapse at the sensation. His calloused hands moved back even further, tracing down to the stretch of skin just above her mound, swiping a finger across the skin delicately. “How about here? Or even,” he brought three fingers around her body, over her ass, and into her glistening cunt again, just rubbing along her entrance, not daring to go further in. Y/N couldn’t hold in her reaction to his prodding anymore, his teasing chipping away all of her dignity and pride in a few simple touches.

“Yes, please, please, use your fingers,” she blurted against her will. Where shame should have washed over her, there was only lust, raging red and coursing through her body so forcefully that she felt braindead. “Put your fingers in me, daddy, please.”

The pet name rolled off of her tongue so easily and she was barely ashamed of how it made her feel. The name especially shocked the three men, who smiled even wider with their cocks harder than before at the little slip up. “That was all you had to say, dolly, gonna have your daddies make you feel real good,” Bucky laughed.

Sam finally plunged his thick fingers knuckle-deep into her cunt as Steve’s mouth captured hers, effectively swallowing her scream with ferocity. The long digits scissored and swirled inside of her, pressing against new unexplored areas that she’d never even gotten to with her own fingers. White dots danced along the front line of her vision as teeth clashed against hers and though it’d been mere minutes she already knew she was close and the men did as well.

“I can feel you clamping around my fingers, honey,” Sam taunted. His lips were moving sinfully around her ass, planting sloppy kisses and drooling all over her skin while he fingered her deep. “Are you gonna come soon, baby?”

“Yes, daddy, I’m so- fuck,” Y/N panted into Steve’s mouth, “m’ so c-close.” The blond bit her tongue hard enough for her to taste blood and she yelped as she heard Sam and Bucky laugh.

“Watch your language, dolly,” Bucky sneered from the side of the bed. His hand was rapidly moving around his cock, corkscrew motions edging him towards the brink of pleasure.

“Little girls like you don’t get to use big swear words,” Sam’s face was still buried between her legs, his soaked fingers pulling out of her cunt only to rub at her little pearl of nerves in circles. His tongue still lapped at her dripping entrance and he could feel her tight hole start to pulse as her breathing picked up. “Oh, baby, you’re getting close, aren’t you?”

Y/N was hesitant to answer at first, the sweat on her body seeming to cool immediately in fear of what would happen if she messed up. But after five seconds Steve stopped kissing her, gripping her chin and staring into her eyes deeply. He looked as debauched as she felt, with his rosy lips swollen with spit and cheeks tinged with pink. “Are you gonna answer daddy, sweetheart?”

That knocked her into shape real fast.

“Yes, daddy, I’m so close. P-please let me come,” she whimpered. The whine in her voice pleased the two men, and Steve went back to exploring her mouth before she felt something poking against her asshole.

“Gonna let daddy put his cock in you, little girl?” Sam asked gently. His words had panic coursing through her system, a chilling realization like water being poured on her head and she began to wiggle around, trying to free Sam’s hand from her hip. Her arms weakly pushed at Steve’s chest, trying to push him as far away as he could, but the men only laughed at her flailing limbs. Y/N wanted to scream no to them, and despite her contrasting love-hate relationship with Sam’s fingers inside her cunt she knew it was time to go. It was laughable how much she would continue to say that to herself for the rest of the night.

But Sam managed to sense her panic, knowing exactly what the issue was before harshly spanking her and effectively stopping her struggle. ��Don’t worry, baby, I won’t come inside of you. I’m not risking knocking up a whore with my kids, I’ve got more dignity than that.”

He led the leaking tip of his dick down her crack, rubbing it along her slick entrance before pushing in with a groan. “Oh my fucking God, that is so hot.” Bucky admonished from the side. “Gotta get in on that soon.”

Steve chuckled against Y/N’s lips, pulling away with a strand of saliva connecting them. He adjusted himself up so his dick was centimeters from her face, a knee propped up on the bed for balance. “Gotta wait your turn, Buck, we all want a piece of her.” He noticed the way Y/N’s eyes were transfixed on his cock, the red mushroom head smeared with precome along the slit, nearly purplish veins standing out prominently on his shaft. Yeah, he couldn’t even deny that he was big because he already knew how many girls had dropped down on their knees for him. “Go ahead, sweetheart, open up those pretty lips for me.”

Almost too excitedly, she dropped her jaw, allowing him to slide his cock into the silky warmth of her mouth. As his hips started to thrust into her mouth, Sam’s started to do the same into her cunt. Both men moaned in tandem with their movements as Y/N’s worries faded away to the back of her mind as they stuffed her to the brim.

“You can come now, baby,” Sam nearly ordered, “go and cream on daddy’s cock- fuck, I know you’ve been waiting.”

It was a harsh bump of his head against her G-spot that sent her over the edge, walls clamping down with ferocity and milking him for all she was worth. Y/N reeled in the sunlight infested warmth that coursed through her body as she finally let go, whining around Steve’s dick as he continued to abuse her throat with long, deep thrusts.

Bucky was still holding his orgasm off, fondling with his tight, heavy sac while his dick remained a painfully hard mess, glistening with precome. “I’m so glad I got to see you come, dolly, look so fucking pretty when you do.”

She couldn’t deny the little skip of her heart at the praise, just a few simple words that made her feel like a good little girl. But no, God-fucking no, she wasn’t supposed to let them make her feel this way. Guilt washed away that warmth in her chest just as quickly, knowing that her boyfriend was just waiting to come back to see her, finishing up his studies so that they could live their lives out together after college while she was getting her pussy and mouth absolutely wrecked by his co-workers.

As soon as Y/N got her brain thinking straight again, Sam started moving inside of her again and she garbled out a strangled cry. “If you thought we were done here, baby,” Sam laughed, “you’ve got a lot left ahead of you.”

“We’re not leaving until all of us have come, brat.” Steve’s palm gripped the back of her skull roughly, pushing her head so far down on his dick that her nose was squished against his abdomen. “Greedy little bitch.”

Both men started to thrust into her again, and just like that she was back to being absolutely lost in desire and lust like the bitch in heat she was until there was a sudden shift in the air. So much that the sweat on her body began to cool her skin, Sam’s hands still gripping her hips so tightly she knew they’d leave marks that she would have to hide when she wore her favorite low-cut shorts.

Bucky’s eyes seemed to drift from her tits moving with each movement of her hips, checking behind the door as if there were something lurking there, but she was too afraid to see for herself. If she stopped she would get spanked, and they’d probably prolong her second orgasm even further, and her pussy couldn’t handle any more subtle teasing.

“Hey there, Parker, why don’t come on out here?”

But that, that was what made the hairs on Y/N’s neck rose, dread filling her to the fullest as she realized the implications of Sam’s words.

Peter had seen everything. Peter, her boyfriend, had seen three of his co-workers, three men who she barely knew, fuck her deep into his mattress. Peter, her boyfriend, had watched her get fucked into his mattress, without trying to stop them whatsoever.

She couldn’t tell if it was the guilt of cheating on her boyfriend or the freezing realization that he hadn’t done anything to stop the three men that hurt more.

Yet Peter still walked from behind the door, dressed in a NYU hoodie and a pair of khakis slung low on his hips, just drawing attention to the sizable bulge that stretched out his zipper. His umber eyes, normally full of so much joy and love, were possessed by the same lust and darkness as the three men, as much as he tried to hide it behind a shyer facade.

His eyes were trained on the tightness of how Y/N’s pussy was gripping Sam, her lips glossed over with come and spit wrapped around Steve’s dick. The girl stopped in her movements, her eyes no longer full of tears for just being gagged, but as soon as her mouth came to a halt around the base of his cock, the blond slapped her across the face. A sharp crack echoed around the room and though she couldn’t see him, she heard Bucky’s feral growl of pleasure at the whorish treatment she was receiving.

“Didn’t say you could fucking stop, sweetheart, keep working on daddy’s cock.” No more words needed to be said as Steve gripped her hair once more, forcing himself farther back into her throat to the point where she couldn’t breathe. Sam’s thrusts were quickening, closer and closer to release as the sounds of the girl struggling to breath made his balls tighten.

“Fucking shit, baby, you feel yourself squeezing my dick? I bet you like teasing daddy like that, don’t you?” One of his hands were brought down on her ass in a quick smack that resonated with Bucky, who was staving off his orgasm for something much sweeter than his hand. She was moaning raucously around the dick stuffed in her mouth, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure up every nerve in Steve’s body as he came with the tip of his dick nearly being swallowed by Y/N’s throat. There was barely any time for her to fully down the thick come in her mouth before Sam was threatening to orgasm. “I’m gonna come so soon but you better fucking not, little girl, you hear me? Gotta let your daddy come before you, you ungrateful little bitch- oh.”

It was a really fucking close call, Sam’s dick pulling out of her with one quick movement before spilling pearly ropes of come onto Y/N’s spine. A high whine escaped her mouth, clit throbbing as she was so, so close to coming, and she was too far into her crazed pleasure to realize that she was letting three older men, men who fought to defend the universe from evil, use her as an over-glorified fleshlight.

She couldn’t really blame them for calling her a cockdrunk whore.

Bucky sauntered over to the bed, eyes trained on the pool of come centered around the base of her spine before flipping her over onto her back with his large hands and shoving three vibranium fingers back into her hole. She gasped and held onto his forearm as he continued to fingerfuck her to her second orgasm, eyes screwed shut in a delirious haze of contentment for being filled with at least something again.

“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky, please-” Steve slapped her along the face, correcting her words immediately. “Daddy, daddy, please let me come.”

Bucky chuckled, tweaking one of her nipples with his flesh hand as he hovered over her face. “I don’t know, dolly, you’ve been a little naughty, callin’ me the wrong name, not listening to Stevie’s orders- don’t think you deserve to get what you want.”

A muffled whimper escaped her swollen lips, and he sighed in surrender. “Okay, dollface, go ahead and come on my fingers. Let me see how you wet ‘em up real good.”

Y/N’s hips bucked into his metal digits with finality, come leaking out of her cunt and soaking the sheets below her. Her sweat-glazed skin shone even against the darkening sky, and all Bucky could do was chuckle at how her chest rose quickly as she tried to catch her breath. He thought about teasing her clit again, just circling around the little bud of nerves to get a rise out of her, but he decided against it. Sam probably had better plans for her anyway.

On the other hand, Y/N’s orgasm was starting to wear off as she noticed the hardened stare from the edge of the room. Her boyfriend.

“Peter, I…” Y/N made eye contact with him, suddenly noticing how mousy he looked in his own bedroom.

“I nearly forgot you were here, Parker,” Sam smirked darkly. “Why don’t you come over here and fuck your little whore. I’m feeling a little generous today.”

Steve and Bucky nodded with the same infuriating smugness as Sam. The brunette boy opened his mouth to object to the degrading statement, but when he met his girlfriend’s eyes nothing needed to be said. There was no escaping this. Nothing he said mattered to the three older men, because really they had already gotten everything they wanted right in front of their disgusting, perverted eyes.

He unbuckled his belt, letting the weight of it drop his khakis to the floor. Maybe if he’d known he would be forced into join a fivesome later that night he’d have picked any other boxers but the Ducktales one, but no one seemed to say a word about them, rather focusing on what they were failing to conceal.

Peter’s cock had always been admirable to Y/N by its length and God, definitely its thickness. Curved upwards towards his abdomen with a vein running along the left side up to the bulbous head, it was definitely more than average. It was really just a shame he didn’t know how to use it well enough.

His shirt was pulled over his head just as quickly, and if Y/N knew any better she would say that he was excited to get to fuck her in front of the three men. He placed himself in between Y/N’s parted legs, standing in the same position as he had so many times before.

But when Y/N cried out in pain and pleasure as he slid into her, Peter knew that this time, it was different. This time three men, men that he used to trust with his life, stood on either side of him and his girlfriend and jerked their hands up and down their cocks as they watched her get fucked relentlessly. It wasn’t sweet, it wasn’t romantic, but he couldn’t really think when his thick cock was stuffed inside of her stimulated pussy, juices and come leaking out of her abused sex.

“Go faster, Parker,” Steve instructed, his face contorted in pure pleasure. The pace of Peter’s thrusts sped up, and he threw Y/N’s ankles over his shoulders, hitting deeper inside of her, with the sound of her sobs only turning them all on more. “Oh, right there, shit, shit, shit-”

Steve came first, a low groan escaping his lips as streams of come landed on her tits, still bouncing with every movement of Peter’s hips.

“Open up,” Sam gritted through his teeth, and Y/N obediently opened her mouth to let his bitter come coat the inside of her throat, some of it landing on her face and neck. The string of curses he let out made Peter thrust even faster into her, and he hated, absolutely despised the way it turned him on to see the three men use his girlfriend to their pleasure. But soon enough a hand pushed against his chest away from Y/N and he reluctantly pulled out.

“Move aside, kid,” Bucky instructed, “Wanna come inside of her.”

As he lined his gigantic cock up with her entrance, her eyes widened with fear. “No, please, I didn’t take my pills, I can’t- I won’t, please not inside-”

“Shut the fuck up, you slut.” Bucky’s fingers came to slap her clit harshly, and she cried out in pain. “You’re gonna be quiet and let me come wherever I damn want, right?”

He punctuated his last word as he thrust inside her, filling her up to the hilt with his girth. She was too drunk on the feeling of her cunt being filled up to argue again. It was painful, extremely so, even though two different cocks had been inside her overstimulated pussy already and Bucky stretched her out wide, his cock thicker with veins to hit every pleasure point. With her legs tossed around his tapered torso, he slid out until his very tip was left in her, then slammed back in with a small moan. The head of his cock relentlessly pounded into her cervix in a nearly soundless tempo and all Y/N could hear were her own gasps of pleasure, jaw-dropping moans that made drool slide back down her throat in her laid down position.

She turned her head to the side, and though her vision was bleary through the tears, she could see Sam and Steve watching Bucky fuck her while Peter, her boyfriend, her sweet, sweet boyfriend, was caught up fucking his hand to the sound of Bucky’s balls slapping against her ass.

“Fuck, ‘m not gonna last much longer, dollface.” Bucky gasped. “You gonna come soon? You’re gonna come for daddy one more time. I think you’ve got a third one in you, you little fucking slut.”

“Shit, shit, daddy, please ‘m almost there,” Y/N wailed absentmindedly. A thumb came down to circle her clit quickly and she felt the coil in her stomach grow tighter and tighter, until she finally let out a high whine, finding her release as Bucky’s cock pulsed inside of her, ready to come just as easily as her. Her pussy clenched around his cock as she rode out her orgasm, fingers grasping at the sheets in order to find some sort of grounding. His come painted her walls white, and Bucky could’ve sworn there was no better feeling than feeling his blood warm in every vein as he finally let go. With stunted groans, his hips slowed its rhythm, lost in watching how his cock disappear into Y/N’s pussy, her slick juices coating his dick each time he pulled out.

“Ah, fuck, dolly, you did so good for me. Pussy tight as a fuckin’ vice.” Bucky hugged her limp body close to his sweaty chest, letting his dick soften inside of her for a good few moments before pulling out. He tossed Y/N back onto the bed below him, barely even caring to clean the come dripping down her ribcage and out of her cunt before grabbing his boxers from the cabinet next to the bed.

Steve was already buttoning his jeans up, checking the notifications on his phone before shoving it back into his pocket. The blond seemed to have better things to do so soon after, rushing his way to the door before pausing where Y/N laid to watch come drip out of her pussy. One more time he pushed Bucky’s come inside of her abused entrance, watching as it oozed out from behind his digits. “Look at you, fucking full of of his come. Such a goddamn whore,” he muttered under his breath.

Those were the last words he said to her before patting Bucky on the shoulder and leading him out of the opened door.

Maybe Sam was a bit more kind, or affectionate at least. He was already dressed but visibly hard again beneath the thick denim of his pants, and he made sure Y/N knew it, taking her left hand and placing it over his dick. “You still got that effect on me, honey, even when you’re all fucked out like this.” He dragged his fingers through the thick ribbons of come that coated her chest, bringing them up to her mouth so she could taste. Even though she was more than exhausted, she wrapped her tongue around the two fingers that were pushed past her swollen lips, sucking them clean with a tired vengeance. Satisfied with her work, he kissed her chin one more time before leaving without so much as another word, slamming the door shut on his way out.

Click.

It ended exactly the way it started, the lock jostling into the doorknob just as easily as the high of Y/N’s final orgasm slipped away.

Stifling silence suffocated the room around them. Peter refused to meet her eyes, just as much as hers did his. She laid motionless on the bed with him standing at the foot, his dick soft and if she narrowed her bleary eyes just a bit, she could see how his knees were shaking. Neither of them were able to say anything, losing the ability to converse as soon as the three men left the room.

“Peter,” her voice was throaty after the rough fucking she took, “C-can you please get me a drink?”

The brown-haired boy looked down to meet her face, and she could finally see the reason that he had hid it from her. His eyes were red and bloodshot, snot running from his nose with tears running down his cheeks. She’d been so caught up in the after haze of the sex that she didn’t even notice how his bare chest was heaving so deeply, nearing hyperventalation.

But still, he grabbed his boxers, pulling them over his weakened legs clumsily. “Y-yeah, what kind do you want, Mr. Stark has a ton-”

“I don’t care.” She cut him off firmly, a sharp tone in her voice as she rolled over on her side. Y/N tucked her knees to her chin, fingers running over the side of her neck which was marked with bruises and scratches. “I don’t fucking care.”

Without another word Peter slipped out of the room quietly, knowing better than to try to talk to her about what they had been forced to participate in. It wasn’t as if there was much to say anyways.

Rain pattered against the window. It was only six o’clock in the evening. Cars honked and beeped and Natasha’s Igor Stavinsky record played for its fiftieth round of the day, and to anyone else in the tower it was a normal night. Normal, just like the ones spent sitting on the couch with Bucky’s hand creeping up her leg or Sam’s hands groping her ass, but this time they’d made a move.

The silence was far too much to handle, the unspoken truth of what she’d done with Bucky, Steve, Sam, and Peter finally hitting her, knocking the air out of her lungs as she suddenly struggled to breathe. Gripping her face, clawing at it like a goddamn wolf, Y/N began to cry. Silently at first, gradually growing into heartbroken sobs, she let her trodden pride carry her voice wherever it wanted to go.

The men’s whispered words haunted her mere moments after they’d left the room, but most audibly she could hear a faint husk of a voice, Sam’s low moan in her ear looming in the dreadful silence of the room:

Thanks for sharing with us, baby.

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jeonfiles · 3 years

Text

once more to see you | kth 01

pairing: taehyung x reader ft. seokjin

genre: angst, fluff, unrequited love

synopsis: taehyung is the complete opposite of you, and you're so in love with him. he's not interested in you at all, but he's willing to pretend so he won't be known for breaking the sweetest girl in school's heart. he knows you'll end up hurt either way.

warnings: taehyung is an idiot, a lot of pining, y/n is annoyingly dependent on validation, y/n does a lot of silent prayers, y/n is a track star, childhood bsf seokjin (cute), mentions of deceased family member

music for this chap: she had the world , carry me out

a/n: taehyung will disappoint u in the beginning but hes cute i promise

"I get why you like him Y/N," Sohee swallowed the rest of her sandwich before finishing her sentence, "He's so hot. People say he's interested in you too, y'know?"

Sohee visibly tried to get food out from the back of her mouth using her tongue, and it made you chuckle at the sight. "I don't think he does." You sighed, resting your chin in your palm.

You were both situated at the table in the inner corner of the cafeteria, with a full view of who walks in the door, and sometimes you swore you could see Sohee drool when attractive guys walked in that exact door.

"Hello, of course, he does! Even his friend Jimin told Kang Seulgi from Class 1, who told Go Euntaek in class 3, who eventually told his girlfriend Baek Ho-rang who ran to me to tell me the great news." Sohee gasped for air after rambling, and you rolled your eyes,

"Stories change when that many links contribute." You scoffed, sitting back in your chair and reaching for your juice box on the table, taking a huge slurp, which you knew would annoy Sohee.

"You don't believe me? Guess we gotta ask a link closer to the source then." Sohee stood up from her chair, and you looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Park Jimin, get your ass over here will ya?" She nearly shouted across the cafeteria, and now all looks were pointed at you two, and you felt the urge to just slip down the cracks of the floor tiles and hide there forever grow stronger for each nanosecond.

You sunk further down on your tacky, orange chair, but you could still see Jimin's black locks sway a little over the crowd as he walked over to the table you were sitting at.

"What's up sugar?" Jimin smirked at Sohee, and Sohee didn't even budge, and you had no idea how she did it. He was stupidly attractive and could make any girl drop her pants with a comment like that.

"Jimin my dearest, a little birdie told me that Taehyung likes my sweet Y/N, could you confirm?" She batted her long lashes and smiled prettily at Jimin.

He looked to the left, sucked his teeth, and said, "I can't, I'm sorry." You realized you had grown a little too hopeful, and your heart sunk quite a bit when he spoke.

"Does he think I'm pretty at least?" You spoke up, eyes shining when you looked up towards the standing Jimin, the harsh lights in the cafeteria reflecting in them.

"He hasn't mentioned you much, to be quite honest." He shrugged, walking back to his table, where Taehyung and the rest of his friends sat.

Your heart thumped when he met your eyes, and you looked away in panic. The rest of lunch was just Sohee apologizing and you avoiding eye contact with any of the students at the nearby tables.

Jimin mentioned you and Sohee's name several times, he was a loud speaker, and you were so scared of what he was saying you could probably die right then and there.

Saved by the bell, you picked up your stuff and got ready to start running to your classroom, praying you wouldn't meet any of Taehyung's friends, and especially not Taehyung as you ran Usain Bolt style.

You looked down while running, not thinking twice about leaving your best friend behind, you suddenly fell to the ground with a thud. This was surely not one of your glory days.

When you looked up, you wanted to cry. It was none other than Kim Taehyung, and he didn't look pleased. You gathered your things and muttered "Sorry." under your breath probably about 10 times, and he just watched, disappointingly.

"You're a klutz. Why were you running?" He spoke, and your knees turned into jelly when you tried to stand up, you nearly fell and dropped all your stuff again, but he caught you by the arm, straightening you up like it was nothing.

"Uh... Uhm... Err..." you mumbled, and he rolled his eyes, and not in a joking manner. "Fuck that, why are you going around telling people I like you?"

Your breath hitched, and he stared at you coldly. "I didn't! Gosh, my friend Sohee told me someone had told her that you liked me, and- uh... We asked Jimin, and-" He put his hand over your mouth, making you shut up.

"I don't want you two to go around making up baseless rumors about me, it's incredibly annoying for me to go around correcting people who assume shit just because your little friend speaks louder than a bunch of hyenas at a tea party." Taehyung nearly spat, and you took a step back.

You noticed that people were listening in, their stares burning holes in your back. He was livid, and you didn't understand why, you just smiled, praying to god that this would end soon.

"I just thought you liked me-" You began, and he interrupted you, "You thought I was gonna like someone like you? Get over yourself and enter the real world."

The hallway went silent, your lips trembled as hot tears raced down your face, and like the track star you were, you fled the scene and passed the finish line into the bathrooms.

You stayed till the school day ended, not knowing what was unraveling outside the four walls of the stall.

Sohee 💜: 01:12 pm

Y/N, where are you? i heard what happened :( i hate taehyung im gonna chop his sausage off

Sohee 💜: 01:38 pm

taehyung is fighting w doyoung because doyoung decided to defend you this is hilarious

but fr where are you

Sohee 💜: 01:57 pm

doyoung gave taehyung a black eye damn

doyo is on the verge of tears when taehyung said you liked him and not doyo

taehyung cant not have feelings for you like there must be smth deeper going on

Sohee 💜: 03:39 pm

class just ended i'll wait out back

Sohee always knew when to leave you alone, so she did, partially. You usually shut off your phone when you're upset, but she still sends you texts to update you whenever you turn it back on.

This time, it was quite dramatic, and you rushed out of the icky stall and ran (again) to reach Sohee to get the full story, and as you expected, it was interesting.

"Basically, Doyoung punched Taehyung and Taehyung was a little too OP, so he failed to initiate a fight, so it just turned into Taehyung being an ass to Doyoung for defending you." She shrugged, adjusting the straps of her leather backpack as you walked home.

"Taehyung's rep is so tainted right now, I don't know how he's gonna fix this my dear Y/N, so I guess he got his karma. He's an idiot and I'm glad other people are starting to see."

You nodded yes, pushing out a fake chuckle, while silently you prayed that everything would soon be back to normal and that Taehyung would forgive you for the mess you caused.

Being in love with Taehyung for a year had taken a toll on you, and your best friend since freshman year had noticed too. You were different.

You used to be so independent and optimistic, but now you would strive for validation, and you had turned into one of the most insecure people Sohee had ever met.

Sohee tried to pull you away from him, but to her demise, it only got worse when you tried to meet other guys. She figured that the only way for you to disconnect from him was if you had your go with him, or if he treated you like a complete idiot.

You waved goodbye to Sohee as you entered your house, kicking off your shoes and throwing yourself down on the couch. You wanted to scream, but you saw your brother's and another guy's shoes in your hallway, so you kept it inside.

After having watched an episode of Seinfeld, you could hear the floorboards creak, and your gaze found its way to the hallway, where your brother, Yoongi stood, peeking out from his door.

"Ah, Y/N, you're the one who's home?" He smiled brightly, eyes turning into small crescents, which made you awe at the sight.

"Yuppers." You said and sat back again, pressing play to start the next episode. "Who's your guest?" And as you uttered your last word, another head peeked out from the door, and you couldn't help but feel the happiness brew inside you.

It was Kim Seokjin in all his glory, and this time, he looked even hotter. It had been about two years since you last saw him because he moved to Germany to study medicine.

Seokjin had been your neighbor since you were born, and you pretty much grew up with two older brothers who always took care of you.

No one dared to mess with you, because Seokjin and Yoongi always got to them first. That way, you grew up without a care in the world, protected from all evil.

You had no idea when you fell in love with him. It was somewhere during puberty, where your interest in Brad Pitt and Kim Soohyun from Dream High had grown stronger.

You remember Seokjin was scouted for modeling, acting, and even idol groups all through your childhood. He did a few ads, photoshoots, a popular teenage drama called Double Trouble, and even managed to get his own Wikipedia page.

There was no doubt that Seokjin was an attractive man, and in the two years he had been gone, his face fat was completely gone, and he had defined cheekbones, a slimmer and tighter figure, and you thought he couldn't be any more perfect.

"None other than God himself," Seokjin said smugly, opening his arms to greet you with a hug, and you threw your blanket you were covered into the side as you bolted into Seokjin's arms, legs wrapped around his waist.

He slowly put you down so your feet touched the parquet, and you felt a kind of euphoria as he smiled at you again, the same smile he had flashed you as long as you could remember.

Everything about Seokjin had matured and changed, but his smile remained the same. "What are you doing back?" You sniffled, holding back the happy tears that were forming in your eyes.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, I love Germany, but it's a little bland. I miss ahjumnas complimenting me on the subway and the bomb ass food here in SK." Seokjin grinned as he wiped a tear that fell down your face.

Yoongi was leaning against the door frame, smiling at the grand reunion. You knew he liked seeing you two together, and you had a small suspicion about him shipping you guys.

"Please don't ever leave again." You gripped onto his shirt, digging your face down in his chest, and he said, "I swear to god if you're wearing makeup right now-"

You laughed as you pushed him away, placing your hands below your chin and batting your eyelashes dramatically, "I'm all-natural."

"Naturally pretty." Seokjin leaned forward and whispered in your ear, and your heart did a little somersault.

Seokjin's always been a charmer.

You woke up in your room, pink sheets draped over your half-naked body as tons of messages poured in on your phone, vibrating so much it nearly fell off the edge of your nightstand.

You grab it while rubbing your eyes, and you're shocked to see the messages that had exploded on your lock screen.

Unknown: 08:39 am

Hey, it's Kim Taehyung.

Look, I'm sorry for the shit I said to you and I would love to make it up to you in some kind of way.

Maybe I could take you out?

I get it if you don't want to, but I heard you were interested in me so...

What kinda food do you like? Activities, hobbies?

I really wanna make this right :)

You: 08:43 am

oh hey! I'd love to, you kinda owe me one. if it's your treat, I suppose we could get some sushi and boba...

btw I don't like u like that

Contact made, saved as "taehyung <3" at 08:44 am

taehyung <3: 08:47 am

Okay. Meet me at Nori Table at 6 pm. Don't make me wait.

Your heart was palpitating, and when you pressed your phone up to your chest, you could feel your body heat up from your scalp to your toes.

Maybe Kim Taehyung had no interest in you right now, but he sure would after tonight. You were gonna make him love you, soon enough,

Running to the shower a few hours of Seinfeld later, you scrubbed with all your might with your newest strawberry scrub, did your makeup, curled your hair, and sat down on the couch, outfit draped over the armrest of the chair.

It was an hour till you were leaving, so for the time being you sat with hair rollers in your hair, dressed in pink sweats. Seokjin and Yoongi had been awake all night, you had heard them laugh and play Mario Cart all night, it reminded you of old times.

Old times where you went to bed crying because Yoongi and Seokjin's bedtime was later than yours at sleepovers. Thinking back, your parents made a pretty rational decision, but you resented them for it.

When Seokjin left for school in Germany, during your Sophomore year you cried again. You thought it was so unfair that you had to be two years younger, why couldn't you come with him?

You were painfully in love with him, and you had been probably since you were. A few months after he moved, your feelings faded. You were love-free, only to fall stupidly in love again with Taehyung just a year later.

You were forced to snap out of your train of thought because you heard the floorboards creak again. When you looked over at the dark hallway, you saw a tired, yet familiar face smile at you.

Seokjin looked quite disoriented, hair ruffled and eyes puffy, yet he looked like a Greek god. Sculpted to perfection, he smiled at you like he did yesterday and all the times before.

"Morning." He grunted out, his morning voice prominent. You chuckled when you looked at the time, feeling kind of bad for Seokjin who had slept away the majority of his day, which you knew he didn't like.

"It's 5 pm, cutie. Mom said you guys could order takeout, cause she's working late." You stood up, and Seokjin gave you a good look up and down, and then diverted his gaze to the lavender ruffle skirt and white long-sleeve blouse you had neatly hung over the armchair.

"What's the occasion?" He nodded over at the clothes and then your hair rollers and full-face makeup-covered face. He threw a few walnuts from the little bowl on the coffee table into his mouth.

"It's none of your business, but I have a date tonight," you said smugly, and a walnut flew out of Seokjin's mouth in shock.

"A date? Like a real one?" He frantically asked, and you nodded as you walked away with your outfit in hand.

You came back out minutes later, and Seokjin had to hold his mouth shut so it wouldn't drop to the floor. You had matured so well, a white blouse adorning your waist, and the lavender skirt hugged your curves nicely.

You had decorated your neck and ears with golden jewelry, and you had a pair of Air forces dangling from your left hand. You were beautiful, hair let free from the hair rollers, curls swaying as you did a twirl.

"It's alright, I guess." He pretended not to care, and your proud grin morphed into a frown pretty quickly, and he noticed.

He stood up and walked towards you, standing very close. His tall figure was hovering over you. Seokjin leaned forward towards your ear, not whispering this time,

"You're gorgeous." He pushed your curls behind your shoulder, adjusting your golden necklace as he returned to Yoongi's bedroom.

You were screwed.

The time on your phone showed 6:06 pm. You recall him saying ‘don’t be late’. What a hypocrite. It had started to pour down, so you were squeezed up against the brick wall of the restaurant so the ledge above you would shield you from the rain.

You were shaking from the cold, legs exposed because of your skirt. Sighing deeply, you reached down into your purse to text Taehyung, but when you looked up, you saw him running over to you.

He was holding a bouquet of pink delphinium and peonies. You’d always been interested in flowers, and this small gesture made you all fuzzy inside.

“I apologize for my late arrival m’lady. The flower shop was about to close down for the day, and I had to beg the cashier to let me in, promising to buy a huge bouquet if she did.” He smiled as he stood in front of you.

“No worries sir, I haven’t been waiting for long.” You chuckled, as you accepted the bouquet. His eyes scanned every inch of your body, and he said, “You’re shivering. Let’s go inside.”

This was a side of Taehyung you had barely seen before, caring and warm. This was also the side of him that initially made you fall for him.

The memories of him reading stories for children at the hospital was heartwarming. Whenever you went to visit your brother, who has now passed, you would see him read stories for all the unlucky kids.

Your brother, who was only 7 years old talked about Taehyung like a superhero, and it seemed as if Taehyung’s stories were the highlight of his days at the hospital.

Daejung wasn’t a kid you would pity. In his last months in the hospital he never once cried. You believed that Taehyung was a big part of the reason.

That’s why you fell in love with him. He hadn’t been a superhero in the form of saving lives, but he definitely made a whole lot of sick kids happier.

How could you ever repay him?

Taehyung rested a hand on your shoulder and lead you inside the door, and there stood a beautiful tall woman, black hair to her waist, almond-shaped eyes, and full lips.

She was beautiful. You looked up to see Taehyung’s reaction, and he wasn’t looking at her, he was looking at you. His eyes met yours, and you could’ve sword the whole world stopped.

“Excuse me?” An unfamiliar voice spoke up, and it kicked you right back into reality. It was the pretty woman speaking, an even prettier voice to match her.

“Do you have a reservation?” She questioned, smiling so genuinely from ear to ear. “Yes. It’s on Kim.” Taehyung spoke so confidently.

“Ah, for two. I’ll be your server tonight.” She waved for you to follow her, and before she turned around, you saw her name tag.

Bae Eunmi. A pretty name for a pretty person. Of course, she had to be pretty. Your confidence sunk even lower, and your insecurities grew.

“I’m not interested in her, by the way. I’ve talked to her before. She’s all beauty and no brains. Not for me.” Taehyung whispered into your ear, possibly to reassure you.

You sat down at the table and ordered a huge plate of different types of sushi, maki, nigiri, uramaki, and even sashimi.

This restaurant was fancy, nearly too fancy for your liking. It was huge and flashy, and it made you doubt your outfit choice completely.

The restaurant fell silent since there weren’t many guests here this early. The silence wasn’t awkward between you guys. It was just, too silent, and you decided to break it.

“Do you still write stories?” Taehyung’s face froze. How did you know about the stories he wrote? Had you been stalking him? Was this when everyone would find out how weak he truly is?

“How did you find out... About them?” He asked hesitantly, fidgeting with a small woven basket with bread placed on your table.

“When sun and moon met, moon felt bad. When the moon was alone at night, he cried, because he wanted to shine just like the sun.” You quote his story word by word, it was your favorite paragraph.

He looked at you with a confused look and his eyes told you that he wondered why you knew the story so well.

Before he could speak up, you said, “My brother's name was Daejung. He looked up to you and constantly told me about how he wanted to be like you when he grew up.” You placed your hands on top of his over the table.

Taehyung was speechless. He sat there, body completely frozen as he processed what you just said. The little boy he had mourned for many months was the same flesh and blood as you.

“Daejung told me how he wanted me to marry you because he thought no one else deserved me.” Letting go of his hands, he continued sitting completely still.

First, he felt disappointed in himself. Disappointed of the way he had treated you, how sad Daejung would be if he knew.

Second, he could see him in your traits. Your button nose matched his completely, and your eyes sparkled just the way his eyes did.

Third, he realized he had to take care of you. Fall in love with you, for Daejung. Taehyung had promised the little boy to take care of his friends and family when he has at his worst.

His expression completely changed. It softened, and his eyes looked at you like you were godsent. He believed you were too. It was fate.

join the “once more to see you” taglist

a/n: u guys know the angst isn't over lol u guys r never gonna see the light at the end of the tunnel ! this chapter was originally a bit longer but i have to test the waters and seeing how u guys like it !! pls reblog <3

#taehyung ff #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #bts imagines #bts ff #bts taehyung #taehyung x you #taehyung x reader #bts v #seokjin angst #seokjin ff #seokjin smut #taehyung smut #fuckboy!taehyung #popular!taehyung #bts x reader #bts x oc #bts

462 notes · View notes

chaeryybomb · 3 years

Text

BRUTAL

pairings: female reader x best friend!jungwon

summary: they told you that these were the golden years, but to you "golden" was a rusting metal spray painted yellow. the story of a seventeen year old trying to survive high school when all you do is try your best. but your best friend jungwon makes it worth the while.

genre: high school au, friends to lovers, fluff, tiny bits of angst if you squint, attempt at humour

featuring: jang wonyoung, kim sunoo & nishimura riki

word count: 4.5k

warnings: reader having a existential crisis most of the time, strong language, mentions of insecurity

the sour series masterlist

You slumped forward the moment the bell rang, letting your head hit the table. You could care less if a bruise would form on your forehead, you had much bigger things to worry about. Your teacher left the class wordlessly as the class was busy doing their own thing. And by that, everyone was buried nose deep in studying. You lifted your head to see the different books of the same topic scattered on your desk, a yellow highlighter balancing on the edge of your table.

Reaching over to grab the highlighter, you turned your head over to the side to look at your desk mate. Wonyoung sat there looking straight out from a k-drama, with her hair flowing down her back perfectly and her slender nimble fingers moving as she continuously wrote in her notebook. She was smart too, fluent in English and Korean, great at maths and science. And on top of that she was kind and friendly, everyone loved her. You did too, you had the honour of calling her your best friend. But sometimes you felt insecure around her, everything she did looked flawless and there you were just trying your best.

"Ack!" You yelped as you sat up straight, holding your forehead. Wonyoung rolled her eyes at you with a small smile on her lips, she had flicked your forehead to get you out of your thoughts.

Without taking her eyes off the textbook, she tapped your own workbook with her pen. Silently telling you to stop procrastinating. You pouted at her and looked at the clock, 10 minutes before lunch. Maybe a walk to the girl's bathroom would do you some good.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you whispered to Wonyoung. She nodded and smiled at you before you walked out.

As you strolled towards the girl's bathroom, you passed by the bulletin board outside your class. A bright blue poster stood out with the words "ENJOY YOUR YOUTH" in white. Scoffing at the message, you continued on your way.

"I'm seventeen now, where's my fucking teenage dream?" You muttered to yourself. You were tired of waiting for your life to end up like a coming of age movie. Everyone told you that these were the golden years and you should enjoy your youth, but you swear to god if you hear another one of those cheesy sayings, you might just cry on the spot.

Reaching over to open the stall door, you halt in your actions when you heard familiar voices talking.

"I'm so worried for finals, my parents are gonna kill me if I fail English again," a girl complained. You hear the sound of tap water running. "How are you so calm during this time, Mirae?'

"What's the use of studying hard anyways," the second girl, Mirae, said. "We all know the top spots are gonna be taken by Jang Wonyoung and Yang Jungwon, I just study enough to pass."

The other girl snorted at her reply. "Imagine if those two got together, the power couple of the year," she suddenly said.

"Poor Y/N then, she's gonna be over shadowed by them."

"As if she already isn't. I almost forgot they were a trio until you mentioned Y/N," the girl laughed.

"What can I say? They're out of her league," Mirae joined in with her laughter.

The two voices faded away as you heard the door closed. Finally pushing the door open, you looked at your reflection. Your eyebrows knitted in annoyance and your face was morphed in a scowl. You washed your hands aggressively and poked the inside of your cheek. What bugged you was that they were right. You were the black sheep between Wonyoung and Jungwon. Both of them were smart and amazing, and you're just…you.

You love your best friends, you truly do. But you were constantly compared to them and you hated it. Everyone wanted them, you watched as guys tripped over to confess to Wonyoung and girls squealing when Jungwon smiled at them. The two of them always reassured you that you weren't beneath them but you were sick of their sympathy. You're so caught up in the news of who likes you and who hates them. You just wished people liked you more.

Storming out of the bathroom, someone accidentally ran into you and caused you to fell onto your butt. The student immediately stood up and scurried off, not bothering to even a mutter an apology. All I did was try my best and this is the thanks I get, you thought bitterly.

They said that these were the golden years, but you wished you could just disappear. God, it's brutal out here.

"Y/N, wait up!" Jungwon called after you.

You stopped in your tracks as you watched Jungwon waved goodbye to some students before jogging towards you.

"You heading to cram school today?" He asked you as the both of you fell into the same walking rhythm.

You shook your head, clasping your hands behind. "I moved it to Thursday instead, Wonyoung said I had to many things on Tuesday," you told him. Originally, you would be heading to the library to study before heading over to the cram school. But Wonyoung took one look at your schedule and decided that you did not had enough breaks, so she managed to convince you to take the Thursday slot instead. Thursdays are one of the days where you would not go to the library.

Jungwon seemed to be disappointed to find out that you had switched slots. Maybe he should changed slots too, but does he have any empty spots open for Thursday though? He'd have to check later. Instead, he coughed and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Do you wanna come over later? The new Demon Slayer movie is out," he offered, hoping that you'd accept.

Unfortunately, you once again shook your head. "Sorry Jungwon, I'd want to cram even more later. Finals are really creeping in and I can't afford to waste any time," you told him with a sad smile. As much as you would like to ditch the books and watch Demon Slayer, the glaring C on your last history paper was telling you otherwise.

You stopped walking when you had reached your doorstep. "Thanks for walking me home, Jungwon. See you tomorrow!" and with that you disappeared behind the door.

Jungwon waved goodbye as he watched the door closed. The smile on his face dropped and his shoulder sagged. Jungwon you idiot, of course she would want to study, he scolded himself. With disappointment on his face, he trudged home with a heavy heart.

"Change of plans, guys," he announced as he swung the front door open, unfazed by the fact that Riki and Sunoo were lounging on his coach. He accepted the fact that Sunoo had somehow gotten the keys to his house (suspecting that his mother probably gave it to him due to favouritism or maybe Riki had sneakily made a copy).

Riki's head poked out from the couch. "She rejected you, didn't she," the younger boy said with a smirk.

Jungwon's face ears turned red as he glared at the boy. "No she did not!" He immediately told him. "She rejected the offer to watch the movie, that's different!"

"That's basically rejection, hyung," Riki laughed.

The other boy just glared at him. "Shut up!" he sputtered out before hiking up the stairs.

Sunoo gave Riki a look, to which the Japanese boy just shrugged his shoulders innocently.

Jungwon walked out from the shower, a towel around his neck with one hand running through his damp hair. Sunoo and Riki had left earlier, finally giving him some peace and quiet. His phone screen was flashing from his study table, initiating that someone was spamming him (quite aggressively) with text message. With a raised eyebrow, he picked up his phone

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: WHY DID Y/N JUST MESSAGED ME ABOUT HOMEWORK

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: ISNT SHE WITH YOU

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: I THOUGHT YOU SAID U WERE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: DEMON HUNTER OR SMTG

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: WHY IS SHE ASKING ME FOR HW

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: DID U CHICKEN OUT???

[7:13 pm] wonyoung: omg u chickened out didnt u

[7:14 pm] jungwon: jfc wonyoung

[7:15 pm] jungwon: and no i did not chicken out okay

[7:15 pm] jungwon: she declined

[7:16 pm] jungwon: she said she had to study ;-;

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: omg u suck

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: i told u the movie idea was dumb

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: but do u ever listen to me

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: no

[7:19 pm] wonyoung: and now u suffer the consequences

[7:20 pm] jungwon: yea yea i get it im dumb

[7:20 pm] jungwon: now what's ur solution the great jang wonyoung

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: i am so glad u asked :)

[7:21 pm] jungwon: oh no

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: stfu im giving u a better idea

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: a n y w a y s

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: my ynradar is going off and she's s a d

[7:23 pm] jungwon: how would u know

[7:23 pm] jungwon: she seemed fine today

[7:23 pm] wonyoung: stfu jungwon its best friend things u wont understand

[7:24 pm] jungwon: i-

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: and as her future bf u SHOULD start to train ur ynradar

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: anw its exam season stoopid

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and its when those kids start to talk abt how the both of us are gonna get top scores

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and they talk down on y/n while doing so

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: assholes

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: so i propose to u

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: a ✨ study date ✨

[7:28 pm] jungwon: i

[7:29 pm] jungwon: that's

[7:29 pm] jungwon: actually not a bad idea

[7:30 pm] wonyoung: obv i came up with it

[7:31 pm] jungwon: can u not

[7:31 pm] wonyoung: anw a study date

[7:32 pm] wonyoung: she's struggling in maths

[7:33 pm] wonyoung: specifically taxes because she said and i quote

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: "why do we have to do taxes when we pay people to do it for us"

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: so pls help her and try to cheer her up

[7:35 pm] wonyoung: and confess coward

[7:36 pm] jungwon: i make no promises for the last one

[7:36 pm] wonyoung: aFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID

[7:37 pm] jungwon: what if she rejects me wonyoung

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION A LOT OF TIMES JUNGWON

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: SHE LIKES U BUT SHES TOO DUMB TO REALISE

[7:39 pm] jungwon: sigh

[7:40 pm] jungwon: fine i'll try thanks wonyoung

[7:41 pm] wonyoung: np i expect y'all to be a couple by next monday <3

[7:41 pm] jungwon: i-

Sighing for the nth time of the night, Jungwon sat on his bed. He allowed the towel to slipped off his shoulders as his thumb hovered over your chat icon. Truth be told, he always thought his crush on you was unrequited love. You never showed any signs of returning of feelings so he thought he would just ignore the feeling until it was gone.

But oh boy was he wrong, because he didn't knew that he would be spending his high school years by your side. And now you occupy his mind 24/7. Wonyoung could literally tell that he was in love with you, but somehow you never caught on. He allowed Sunoo and Riki to convince him to do the whole "movie date idea", but that failed. So Wonyoung's suggestion was his only option left.

He typed out the message, ready to send it out. If only he could just press the button. Come on Yang Jungwon, you can do this. Just press the damn button Jungwon. Suddenly his phone pinged loudly, scaring the lights out of the poor boy as he yelped and his phone landed with a thud on the ground. He peered over his bed, as if his phone was a ticking bomb.

Oh, it was a message from you.

[8:01 pm] y/n: hey do u know where wonyoung is

[8:01 pm] y/n: she isn't answering my texts

Oh no. He realised that your chat was open, the two ticks indicated that he had (unintentionally) read the message. He couldn't just leave you on read. That's just evil. Scrambling to get his phone, he immediately typed a reply to cover for the other girl.

[8:02 pm] jungwon: sorry i don't :/

[8:02 pm] jungwon: what do u need her for

[8:03 pm] y/n: mf was supposed to teach me a maths question but she left me on rEAD

This was his chance! It was the perfect opportunity for him to score a date with you. Okay, breathe in breath out Jungwon. Don't mess it up and just ask her, he mentally prepared himself.

[8:04 pm] jungwon: oh i could help you if you want

[8:04 pm] jungwon: yk with finals coming up and everything, i can help you study

[8:05 pm] jungwon: if you want of course

[8:05 pm] y/n: omg srsly??

[8:06 pm] jungwon: pls help me study my braincells are literally dying

[8:07 pm] jungwon: jdsjkda okay how about this saturday at your place?

[8:08 pm] y/n: yeah sure

[8:08 pm] jungwon: cool its a date then!

You blinked at Jungwon's message. A date? Wait, did Yang Jungwon just indirectly asked you out? Nah, nah. You were overthinking it. Yes, definitely overthinking. Don't kid yourself, why would Jungwon ask you out on a date? Jungwon is just a friend, you tried to convince yourself.

Keyword: tried.

If he really was just a friend, then why did it felt like butterflies were in your stomach when he said "it was a date"? Then why did you frowned when those girls said that Wonyoung and Jungwon would make a good couple?

Oh god, do you have feelings for your best friend?

Saturday came faster than you would have liked it to. Ever since that last chat with Jungwon, it gave you the sudden realisation that you did in fact had feelings for your best friend. You tried so hard to avoid him in school because you don't want the butterflies back in your stomach. It was basically confirming the fact that you like him. Well, avoiding him also confirmed the fact but you choose to be in denial about it.

You didn't tell Wonyoung about your study date but lately she's been sending you outfit ideas on Pinterest. Specifically, date outftis. And whenever you tried to ask her a question about school, she brushed you off with a random excuse. So it left you no choice but to save those questions for Jungwon.

Speaking of Jungwon, he had texted you 10 minutes ago that he was on the way. You were standing in the middle of your room with your hands on your hips. Both of your parents were out for the day, which left you alone at home. You had taken out the low table to be used later and it was currently in front of you. Colourful workbooks were neatly stacked on top of it.

You did a 360 turn around your room. Was it messy? You cleaned it this morning when you woke up. Did you had any clothes out? No, doesn't look like it. For some reason, you were a nervous wreck. You blamed Jungwon. He just had to call this a date, didn't he.

Should you change? Maybe you should finally look through all those pins Wonyoung sent. Wait, no, why would you have to change into something nice. Jungwon was here to help you study, just that.

Yeah, a study date, your mind emphasised on the word.

The sound of the doorbell pulled you out from your thoughts. You immediately went to open the door. Yang Jungwon stood there on the other side, with his signature smile. Had he always resembled a sheep? He just looked so fluffy.

"Hey!" You greeted him with a smile, internally wincing at your way-too-enthusiastic voice.

But Jungwon didn't seem to mind it. "Hey!" he greeted back.

You moved to the side to let him in. "Thank you for having me," he said as he bowed then proceeded to remove his shoes.

"Uh, do you want anything? Water?" You asked him.

He shook his head.

"Ah, cool. Let's head to my room," you started to walk back to your room.

"Where are your parents?" He asked.

"Out," you simply replied.

That was when it dawned upon you, that your parents were not home. Leaving you and Jungwon, alone. Together. In your room. Alone. With the boy you potentially have a crush on.

"Y/N?" Jungwon tapped on your shoulder. You had stopped walking when you were suddenly washed over by your thoughts. Snapping out of it, you sent him a small smile before opening the room to your door.

The both of you shuffled into your bedroom, you sat down in front of the low table while Jungwon settled down next to you. He moved to take out his books then turned to you. "How about we do some studying and if you have any questions, you can ask me okay?" He said.

You nodded and flipped your own workbook open, immediately starting to work on the first question. Jungwon copied your action and a comfortable silence engulfed the both of you. As the time passed, you found yourself stuck on a certain maths question.

You slightly turned your head to the side to look at Jungwon. He was concentrated at doing his work, you felt a sense of deja vu while looking at him. He resembled Wonyoung when she was studying. At the thought of Wonyoung, you suddenly thought of what those girls said at the bathroom.

They would make a good couple, wouldn't they, you thought. The power couple of the year.

The butterflies in your stomach faded away into an uncomfortable feeling. Just the idea of them getting together already made you sick. You bit the inside of your cheek, you really did had feelings for him. And now it scared you because what if he doesn't feel the same. You made a mental note to consult with Wonyoung later, at least you hope that you'll allow yourself to tell her.

Jungwon must've noticed you staring and gently tapped your head with his pencil. A contrast to when Wonyoung painfully flicked your forehead.

"What's wrong? Are you stuck on a question?" He asked.

You leaned back a bit at the sudden action. You were so deep in your insecurities that you had totally forgotten about the literal problem sitting in front of you. Yet you couldn't even bother to ask him so you just shook your head. "I'm gonna get something to drink," you said instead.

Jungwon watched as you stood up, then decided to follow you as well. "I'll come along."

The boy joined you in the kitchen, perched on one of the island stools as you grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. He studied your movement as you worked around the kitchen. Your features were neutral, you weren't smiling nor frowning. But he could tell that your shoulders were tensed. Wonyoung was right, you did seem down. And he cursed himself for not noticing earlier.

"You okay?" His question made you stopped in a mid-pour stance, the can of soda was tilted but not enough for the contents to be poured out.

You brushed his question off and poured the drink into the cup. "Yeah," you hummed.

Unconvinced by your answer, he pried more. "You know you shouldn't care about what they say, right?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, pretending like you didn't understand where he was coming from.

"You're not below us, you know that right?"

You couldn't help but scoffed at his words. Jungwon's lips tugged downwards "I'm being serious here, Y/N," his tone was stern. "You shouldn't listen to what they say. You're more than just-"

The sound of the can being slammed down shuts him up. Your fingers tightened around the can as you looked at him. You didn't had the energy to hear him preach the same old "Don't Listen To Them" speech. You don't need his pity.

"I don't want to hear it, Yang Jungwon," you said through gritted teeth. Not sparing him another glance, you threw the empty can into the trash as you grabbed your glass.

As you walked past Jungwon, he suddenly reached out and held onto your forearm. "Y/N," he said softly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

You sighed and slowly turn around to face him, placing the glass back on the counter. You took in a deep breath before you opened your mouth. "I feel like I'm not enough," you finally said. "Everything I do just doesn't seem enough. All I'm doing is my best but it's just crushing my ego because everyone is telling me that you're better than me."

"I feel like no one wants me and I hate the way I'm perceived. It's always poor Y/N this and poor Y/N that's because everyone just sees me as your shadow and I fucking hate it. I only have two real friends," you gestured wildly. "And lately I'm a nervous wreck cause I keep comparing myself to the two of you. I'm not cool and I'm not smart, and I can't even parallel park!" You threw your hands up in frustration, the feelings you kept inside were pouring out like a waterfall.

Jungwon just stood there as he listened tentatively to every word. He didn't knew that you felt this way, bottling up all your emotions like that.

"And I'm so tired of people telling me to enjoy my youth and that these are the golden years. I might just fucking cry if I hear those words again," you finished ranting. It felt good, it felt like a weight on your heart has been lifted. Then you remembered that you just dumped all of it on Jungwon.

You opened your mouth to apologise to him but he surprised you by pulling him into his arms. At first you were standing stiffly at the sudden contact, but it took a millisecond for you to melt in his embrace. His arms were gently around your back and you returned the hug by wrapping your arms around his torso. The two of you stay in that position for awhile, relishing in each other's embrace. You definitely needed this hug.

Tightening your hold on Jungwon, you realised how important he was to you. He was your best friend and he was always there for you. It was stupid of you to compare yourself to him, when all he did was tried his best for you. The taller boy chuckled when he felt you rubbed your face into his shoulder, he involuntarily released a contented sigh. You felt one of his hands stroked your hair, it felt comforting. That action itself was enough for the butterflies to slowly settled back in you.

After a while, both of you finally (unwillingly) released each other. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ears and said, "You're wrong by the way." Which made you tilt your head in genuine confusion.

"You are cool and you are smart. You're like the coolest person I know. And no one thinks of you as our shadow, you don't hear it but I've always hear the juniors praising you for helping them and how enthusiastic you are," the way he delivered his words was filled with pure awe for you.

"And who cares if you can't parallel park. You didn't hear it from but Jay hyung failed his drivers test three times just because he couldn't parallel park," and that got a laugh out from you. Jungwon smiled proudly that he managed to make you laugh. "And you're wrong when you said no one wants you. I want you."

You blinked once, twice and thrice. He wanted you? "You're just saying that cause you're my best friend," you replied.

"No," he firmly said. "I like you, Y/N."

(Jungwon doesn't know where he got this sudden surge of confidence, but the mood was the perfect time for him to confess. It was a one time chance and he had to take it.)

You chuckled. "I like you too, Jungwon. We are friends aren't we?"

"No, Y/N. I like you. More than friends."

"Oh." Oh.

"Yeah," he scratched the back of neck awkwardly. Oh no, did you not feel the same way?

While you on the other hand, were malfunctioning on the inside. Your best friend just confessed to you and you were frozen on the spot. Why couldn't he had done it over text instead. If he had done it over text, then you could've left the message unread and you could've spammed Wonyoung for help. But the thing is that it wasn't over text and you couldn't just tell him to wait here while you panicked to Wonyoung in your bathroom.

Yang Jungwon likes you. And you like him too, right? Because if you didn't, your cheeks won't be heating up right now and your heart would have not be beating rapidly like it was going to break your rib cage any second. If you didn't like him, there would have never been butterflies in your stomach. Yeah. You like Yang Jungwon, you like him a lot.

"Me too," you whispered, it was soft but it was enough for him to pick it up. Jungwon eyes snapped to you, doe eyed filled with hope. "I like you, too," you said, this time louder. And you made sure you looked him in the eye when you confessed.

You watched as Jungwon's mouth morphed into a big grin. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped to his knees, surprising you. "Jungwon!" you squeaked, bending down to help him.

"I'm fine! I'm fine," he assured you as he stood up with your help. The grin on his face was still there. "It's just that … you like me," he breathed out. "You like me back, wow. I-I can't believe it."

Your face was definitely burning with embarrassment. You punched him lightly on the shoulder, turning away to hide your face. "Believe it, you dork. I like you, okay!" Somehow his grin was able to grew wider at your words, Gently, he took your hand in his.

"How about we stop this study date, and I'll take you out on real date?"

a/n: thank you so much for reading this <3

#enhypen #yang jungwon #jungwon #enhypen imagines #yang jungwon imagines #jungwon imagines #enhypen x reader #yang jungwon x reader #jungwon x reader #kim sunoo #nishimura riki #enhypen scenarios #yang jungwon scenarios #jungwon scenarios #jungwon fluff #enhypen fluff #yang jungwon fluff #chaeryybomb; the sour series

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mattmaesonnatural · 3 years

Text

VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE.

but its all spoilers SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

LITERALLY CLOSE THIS TAB IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE SPOILED.

WARNING*******

very symbrock POV !!!! (everything is from memory I just got home to write this all down)

- LITERALLY right off the bat, Eddie is walking into the police precinct with detective mulligan. Mulligan says something mean about Eddie and Venom goes to bite his head off. Eddie pulls physically on Venoms tendrils and they fall into the women's bathroom and Eddie locks them in a stall. They start fighting and pushing each other. then arguing. Mulligan is right outside the door. listening. AND there's a women in the next stall. she looks under the panel to see only one set of feet and is very confused by two deep voices pushing each other around in the stall next to her. (VERY SUBTEXT STILL YELLING ABOUT THIS)

- Venom fixing Eddies hair when they go to meet Anne

- Anne knowing that Venom was still with Eddie even though Eddie lied to her face. (Anne: Venom take good care of him) [I think she said this twice in the film]

- Eddie crying (upset about Anne's engagement) Venom is sorry he can't fix a broken heart. Cue Venom being like "its okay we'll take care of you." then fast forward to the next morning (fanfiction gap) and Venom is making Eddie breakfast.

- Venom and Eddie physically fighting about Eddie (wanting peace) and Venom (wanting to be his own person)

- Venom throwing Eddie's stuff out of the windows of the apartment (V: EDDIE YOU NEED TO GO Eddie: THIS IS MY HOUSE)

- Venom leaving and Eddie looking sad before fixing up the trashed apartment.

-Venom entering the rave says "Oh my kind of people" then "Finally free of the Eddie Brock closet"

- Venom at a rave and going up on stage to say Eddie sucks and the crowd cheering (makes a big speech about how everyone should be allowed to live authentically). (follow up right after Venom leaves the stage he slums off to the side and sits down and says defeated and sad "Eddie i wish you could see me now")

- Eddie calling Anne to help him get Venom back (Eddie's getting questioned by the police)

- Venom finds Mrs. Chen and is upset and weak, Mrs. chen holds his "body"

- Anne goes (with Dan) to find Mrs. Chen, only to start talking to Mrs. Chen and realize she is Venom. Anne then flirts with Venom to get him to go with them. (Dan is all IM RIGHT HERE!!!) its cute ngl Venom loves attention.

- Venom taking over Annes body, gets Eddie out of the questioning room. Venom lets anne have her body back, but doesn't leave. Eddie being like "come on!! the symbiote in Cletus is gonna kill everyone " and Anne has to speak on Venoms behalf, that he wants an apology and venom wants to make him BEG (Yes venom says that) Eddie starts apologizing half assed, then gets more sincere about and Venom literally hums and then says okay. and flings Anne at him and they hug so Venom can reattach himself to eddie, and i think ? venom says "kiss her" and anne is like "oh nooo get off me" but like in a Venom please dont do this im literally engaged and I know I just flirted with you but PLEASE go back to Eddie. Then she says "I am never doing that again! Okay maybe not never. The power feels great." then Venom slapping Dan in the car and Eddie being like "GOTTA GO" and then Dan being like "geez they need couples counseling"

- Eddie and Venom back together, fight with Carnage. IN A FUCKING CHAPEL. AT A WEDDING MIND YOU. Carnage calls Venom, Father. (CANON SYMBROCK DADS)

- Venom cries as he's being defeated. Hes so weak. Eddie says "Hey Cletus and Carnage arent in symbiosis. They arent a perfect match. Guess who is a perfect match. WE are." and that gives Venom the strength to fight.

- They beat Carnage and Cletus. Venom eating Carnage and then Venom biting Cletus head off.

- police start to show up and they all scramble to get out of there. Anne and Dan leaving and Anne saying "Venom take care of him" and Eddie going "take care Annie" and Annie looking at him and LITERALLY SAYING "yeah you to champ" (LOVE HER) and then Anne goes back over to Dan and Venom comes out and says "TAKE CARE DAN" (cause dan was kinda badass in the film for the amount he was in it)

- Venoms whole thing is that he wants to feel his toes in the sand and wind in his hair. Eddie literally takes them to an island, they are sitting on a beach, Eddie holding his knees and Venom has turned eddies feet black into his own. Venoms head pops up and starts talking about life and then says something something about the people you love and continues on and eddie like pauses and its like "wait wait wait. go back. YOU LOVE ME?" and Vemon kinda dances around it again and they both just sit there staring at a sunset on a beach.

my brain WENT STATIC ERROR 404 with that scene. I wish I could remember what venom or Eddie said exactly. i heard Love and then eddie say "WAIT YOU LOVE ME?" and i blacked out

also the end credit scene FUCKING SHOOK ME TO THE CORE. Im STILL NOT PROCESSING.

Even for a 97 minute feature it was SO well paced. The story flowed well and had some funny bits too. Woody Harrelson was amazing and so was Naomie Harris.

but big SHOUT OUT TO TOM FUCKING HARDY FOR HIS WRITING CREDIT AND FEEDING ME WELL. ANDY SERKIS NAILED IT IM SCREECHING LOVE THIS FILM. ITS A LOVESTORY.

#venom spoilers #venom 2 #symbrock #venom let there be carnage spoilers #this is mostly for my own amusement

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thefancyspin · 3 years

Note

16 and 20 for ballum please? 🥰💖

[misunderstanding/mutual pining, all for you sweet gemma <3)

Ben used to think he had pretty good intuition. Shaking a hand or stealing a glance or moving through a packed crowd at The Albert. He’d meet eyes with someone, and smile, and he’d just know, he’d feel it thrum in his toes. They wanted him too.

Apparently Callum Highway is an exception to the rule.

“Look at ‘im,” Ben grumbles drunkenly into his pint glass, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Jay in The Vic. Callum is here with his best friend Whitney, and even though Callum’s gay and not interested in her, Ben hates her with a fiery passion. She’s always laughing with him and touching him and getting to do all the things Ben wants to. He hates her. “I mean, who gave him the right to look so good in that uniform?”

Jay groans. “Give it a rest, mate.”

“What? It’s true. Bad enough he’s a bloody ambo, saving people's lives and being all humble about it. He’s also tall, with those shoulders, and that hair. I mean, have you ever touched it, Jay, is it as soft as it looks?”

“Why in the bloody hell would I touch his hair?”

“I donno, he worked for you for a bit.”

Jay scoffs, shaking his head. “Oh, right, I’d say, well done with the dead body, Callum, now can I run me fingers through your luscious locks.”

“Yeah,” Ben gives him a shrug. “What’s wrong with that?”

Honestly, the problem isn’t just that Callum’s perfect. It’s that he shook Ben’s hand, and met his eye, and Ben felt it. Not just in his toes, but also in his bones, and also beating viciously in his chest. It was like love at first sight, if Ben actually believed in that stuff. He knew.

But then Ben asked him if he wanted to grab a drink, or get food, or come over and watch a movie, and it was always the same answer - no. Not a mean, get over yourself no, but a, that’s really kind of you but I just don’t like you that way I’m terribly sorry, I hope you don’t think badly of me, no. Always no.

Callum was like something out of a Jane Austen novel. Polite and apologetic and the kind of man you take home to meet your mum.

Which was why it didn’t make sense that Ben wanted him so badly. But Christ, he did.

“You really need to get over it,” Jay says unhelpfully. “He ain't interested.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Ben looks up miserably again, but this time when he does he catches Callum looking back. Callum gives him a soft smile, his cheeks pinking up, before ducking his head to look away. Jesus. If Ben has to endure this torture, he’s going to have to have a word with Callum about giving off the wrong signals.

“I’m gonna break the seal. Get me another, would ya?”

Ben knows he should probably just go home and give up on this day. It’s never a good time when he’s a sad drunk, feeling sorry for himself and contemplating Adele on karaoke. As he grabs some towel to dry his hands, the bathroom door swings open to reveal Callum. Ben curses to himself. It’s always worse when he’s this close up.

“Hi, Ben,” he says gently, giving Ben an awkward little wave. He’s an absolute dork, and Ben wants to climb him like a tree.

“Hey.” Ben shoves his hands in his pockets. “Good night?”

“Not bad. I’m knackered, mostly, just got off a twelve hour shift.”

“Wow, surprised you’re still standing.”

“You and me both.”

Ben gives him a sympathetic smile (what he hopes looks sympathetic and not constipated) and moves past him to escape, but then Callum’s calling him back. “Uh, sorry, I didn’t ask how you’re going.”

“Oh, I’m fine. Good.”

“I haven’t seen you around much.”

That’s because I try and avoid all the places you go so I don’t have to look at your ridiculous face, Ben doesn’t say. “Just busy with work.”

“Yeah, I know what ya mean. Well, I’ll let ya get back to ya drink, sorry, didn’t mean to keep you.”

Ben goes to reach for the door but then changes his mind and swings around again. He manages to stop Callum before he closes the stall door. “Cal, can I just say. I think you’re a great guy. And any bloke would be lucky to have you as a friend. But … but I can’t be that right now. I know that’s selfish, I’m sorry, I just need some time to get over you.”

Callum just stares at him. “What?”

“I’m only telling ya this ‘cause I know you’re just being genuine, smiling at me and making conversation. You’re a nice guy, I know you’re not playing with me feelings.”

“Feelings?”

“So … so can I just have some space for now while I move on?”

“Ben…” Callum says a little roughly, like he’s having trouble talking. He takes a few steps closer in, a hand in the air like he’s trying to reach for something. Ben wishes it were him. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about all the times I asked you out, for coffee, or a movie,” Ben says slowly, not sure why he has to say it out loud. Why he has to explain it.

“You were asking me out?”

“Yes!”

“But I thought you were seeing someone?”

“Who?”

“I donno. Whit said she heard you talking to Jay about some guy, and when she asked you just said it was a bloke you knew at work or something.”

Ben’s heart is hammering in his chest, his head pulsing. He doesn’t know what’s going on right now, but he does know that Callum hasn’t pushed way. Callum hasn’t said no. “I - I must have been talking about you.”

“Me?”

“Yes! I’ve wanted you since I got back to town, since you made that stupid joke about corpses while you were looking absolutely gorgeous in that suit, Christ,”

Ben’s not sure why he’s so surprised when Callum grabs him with two huge hands around his neck and kisses him. Probably because this is Callum Highway, and where Callum’s concerned, Ben has no common sense whatsoever.

It's an amazing kiss, somehow better than Ben ever imagined; strong and pressing and making Ben groan into it as he digs hands into Callum's hips to anchor. He's never wanted to hold onto something more in his whole life.

“But … I asked you out…” Ben says dumbly when the kiss breaks, blinking up at Callum.

He laughs, kissing Ben again, soft and fleeting. “I thought you was being a mate. And I didn’t want to be just mates either.”

"Because you like me."

"So, so much."

#ben x callum #ballum #eastenders #fic prompts #fluff prompts #fanfics

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gendernewtral · 2 years

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Like five times a day is even bad lol why use a 3000 machine when you can just do it yourself

i usually don’t answer dumb shit like this, but i think it’s worth it to explain what being a diabetic is really like. this got long because im pissed off, so here’s a readmore.

(im going to assume you meant to say “isn’t,” but were so furious at me for being disabled that you rushed through the sentence. off to a good start there.)

five times a day is a very conservative estimate, based on one injection for basal insulin, three for meals, and one for a snack. in practice, it’s more like ten or twelve- the five i listed, maybe two more snacks (or if you’re me, coffee after breakfast), and then corrections for high blood sugar. looking at my pump, i gave myself the equivalent of fourteen injections yesterday. oh yeah, my pump keeps a very good record of my blood sugar and insulin usage, something that helps me manage my health (and shouldn’t be available to anyone else just because it’s recorded- hence the fucking post).

there are several kinds of insulin pumps, but for the sake of this idiot ask, ill only talk about mine. my pump has an infusion site that infuses insulin under the skin, directly into fat. i change it every three days, which means i only need to inject anything into my body every three days. it’s small enough to fit in my pocket, and light enough to be hung on pants or shorts that don’t have pockets. it’s always attached to me (unless i’m going in water, it isn’t waterproof) so i can’t forget to bring insulin with me when i go somewhere. when i need insulin, i have it in my pocket. my pump calculates the amount of insulin i need for carbohydrates based on data i give it. it displays how much insulin is active in my body so i can account for that when making my calculations. it corrects blood sugar automatically, following my instructions.

furtherfuckingmore, basal insulin is used to make up for the constant insulin the body would normally produce. a healthy pancreas releases insulin when it is needed to process food, but also releases a certain baseline level constantly. diabetics using pens or syringes inject a long-time insulin once a day to meet this. pump users have this basal insulin infused throughout the day. when i used pens, my basal insulin dose would usually plummet my sugar levels and require me to counteract it. by usually, i mean three or four times a week. my insulin pump keeps that from happening and in fact, my pump is able to adjust for my blood sugar levels and increase or decrease the basal amount as needed. insulin infusions are generally better absorbed than injections. injected insulin can take longer to work than infused insulin, which means you have to be careful with timing or risk high blood sugar.

the injection process can take at least thirty seconds. some people, like me, choose to inject into their thigh or lower abdomen, which means finding a private place every time you need to inject. eating at a restaurant? you have to calculate the amount needed and inject about fifteen minutes before eating, since injections take more time to be absorbed than infusions. do this while you’re standing in a small bathroom stall, trying not to drop your sterile medical equipment and $500 bottle of insulin. remember to do this every single time you eat, or you’ll have to give yourself more injections to correct for high blood sugar.

okay, so you should understand the importance of pumps now, right? maybe you don’t, because you had the audacity to tell a disabled person to ‘do something themself’ with absolutely no understanding of what you are saying, and what those words actually fucking mean. let’s go through my day, comparing using a pump to using syringes, and see if you can fucking follow along.

1. wake up

if my sugar is high from some overnight thing (a frequent occurrence) i type the correction i need into my pump, which is right next to me or attached to my pajamas, and i get up to carry on with my day.

or: i walk to my desk and get out an insulin pen. i find a needle cap for it, and screw it on, possibly fucking up and needing to grab a new one. i test it out, making sure it’ll actually deliver insulin, and if it won’t i go get a new pen. i might not be able to use that one anymore. once the pen is working, i have to find a place on my body where i haven’t injected recently, clean it with alcohol or risk infection, and give myself an injection. i don’t really notice the pain anymore, but it hurts. it itches. with fifteen minutes wasted, i finally get ready.

2. eat breakfast

i decide what i want to eat, and put the carbohydrate amount into my pump, which automatically calculates the correct insulin dose based on the carb count and my current sugar. i set it to infuse and make my coffee. it beeps after ten seconds or so to let me know the dose was fully delivered. i can see the exact amount of insulin in my body on the screen. i eat, and notice afterwards that my sugar is going up, and then i don’t do anything, because my pump will automatically adjust to prevent a serious high.

or: i decide what i want to eat, and calculate the injection amount based on the carb count and my current sugar levels, and what i might be doing later and how it will affect my sugar (because ill need to inject more if im wrong now, or i might go low) and then i go through the injection process. go back to my bedroom from the kitchen, and repeat what i did fifteen minutes ago. now, i have to wait until i think all of the insulin is where it should be, but i have no way of knowing whether it’s actually active or not. this takes at least ten minutes, and if i don’t wait, my sugar will go high. eventually i eat, and if im lucky, my sugar stays steady. i am not often lucky.

3. watching tv

my sugar fluctuates a little because i had a snack earlier, but i can keep chilling and watching doctor who because my pump will catch it, or i can fix it in ten seconds by typing some numbers on a screen. maybe ill get some water if it’s going a little high.

or: my sugar fluctuates a little because i had a snack earlier, so i go back to my bedroom to calculate the correction. i have to guess what the right amount is because i have no idea how much basal insulin is active. i guess wrong, and my sugar drops. i spend an hour treating it and recovering from the heart palpitations, dizziness, confusion, muscle weakness, and extreme anxiety. had i not treated that low correctly, i would have died. yes, low enough blood sugar is almost always fatal. an emergency medication called glucagon exists because deadly lows happen so often.

4. i go do literally anything

im walking downtown and notice my sugar is going a little high. i stop for a second, program my pump, and keep doing whatever the fuck i was doing, because it’s completely unobtrusive.

or: im walking downtown and notice my sugar is going a little high. i stop, look around for a store with a public bathroom, and end up walking a block before i find one. i have me/cfs, and walking that far means im going to have a PEM crash when i get home. once i find a bathroom, i try and balance my bag on the sink, and end up needing to open new supplies when i drop them on the floor.

pumps seem infinitely better, right? for a lot of people, they are. but for other people, they feel as if they have less control over their body when they rely on a computer to manage their insulin. they don’t want the kind of supervision that comes with a machine logging all of their health data. they don’t want to be subject to the whims of the corporation that makes the device. i understand that completely. that’s the tradeoff people are forced to make for privacy. it isn’t an easy choice. there are diabetics who are forced away from technological advances that would greatly improve their lives because they want to control what others know about them.

i am willing to sacrifice my privacy for my health, and that is the most dystopian sentence i could write. life wouldn’t be impossible without my pump, but as you should be able to fucking see by now, it massively improves my life. this comes at the cost of my medical providers and my fucking insurance company accessing my health data.

when i got my learner’s permit, i had to have paperwork signed by my doctors saying my blood sugar is well managed. my endocrinologist pulled my pump data from the app she manages and decided that my basal rate was too high. she adjusted it in my pump. i couldn’t do anything about it, or i would not get my permit. after i got my permit, i adjusted the basal rate myself and stopped the process that uploads my pump data. i was told at my next appointment that i needed to upload my data or be considered noncompliant with diabetes management.

it would take too long to get into the whole thing, but yes. the extreme cost of insulin pumps is another reason why many people can’t use them. beyond the cost of the actual machine, the supplies are expensive too. my insurance covers my pump and supplies, but only this pump. if i wanted to use one of the lower tech ones that don’t have the data integration my doctors can access, i would be paying for it all out of pocket. another reason why people choose to go without pumps.

#if any diabetics want to add on feel free #or other people who use personal medical equipment #everyone else fuck off pls this is a post abt medical equipment.#answered #anon #im deleting other malicious anons about that post

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tigerdrop · 4 years

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dogboy gordon rutting against benreys leg in the same way that benrey did it in the reverse. benrey encouraging him and also making fun of him in the same breath. yummy brain thoughts. i am rotating this

jesus christ i started thinking about dogboy gordon and have not stopped thinking. theres 7k words of dogboy stuff under here im going insane

how in the. help. Help. dog boy. how does he become dogboy. i cant keep giving these idiots potions but i guess thats what ive been reduced to

gman turns him into a dog boy. walks thru a portal and comes out in nintendogs but hes the dog and when he comes back out again hes still a little bit dogy. this is fucking stupid

THE TAIL WAGGING im going to pass away

> i think he would have such fucking issues with the fact that his tail and ears are expressing his emotions so much

trying to act angry towards benrey but hes given away by his tail wagging like crazy......and he never even knows its happening until somebody points it out

it would be cool if. um. he got a little more into roughhousing and rough play afterward. you know. like a . hes already really handsy......physical. . .. .

> okay like the anger turning into somewhat-serious jostling and pushing which turns into roughhousing

its not even horny at first it just gives him the weirdest fucking endorphins. like. its fucking fun man

> and by the time theyre roughhousing his tail is wagging furiously and like thumping on the floor when he gets pinned haha

> YES its about the exhilaration ......he gets this rush from flipping benrey over after he's pinning him, baring his teeth triumphantly

benrey pinning him by his wrists and half-laughing at him like "what the fuck is wrong with you??" and the rest of the science team chimes in like YEAH WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS WHAT WAS THAT

> gordon comes back to himself and turns red immediately and splutters like "i dont know! what - im just - benrey started it!” so like he refuses to do it again but then benrey pushes his buttons and he gets in his face, ears pinned back a bit and shoves him and benreys like oh...so its this again huh...

GOD......PUSHING HIS BUTTONS.......its sooo much fun now that gordons so physically reactive too

> what if he manages to get an honest to god growl out of gordon at one point and it makes something ugly twist in benrey's gut and he wants to make it happen again

and its probably really gratifying for him to see just how often gordons tail wags when gordon looks at him or snorts at one of his jokes

TWO SIDES

> the duality of their relationship....gordons tail wagging just a bit when hes looking at benrey though im

> im thinking about the growling though like...benrey gets fixated on how he fucking sounds, all deep and rumbly and this intensity just focused on benrey only....makes him think about how that would look in other contexts....

> benrey riling him up while their roughousing so he can feel that growl travel through his chest and like...getting gordon to that point makes him SO determined to win the "fight" over benrey hes almost a bit out of his mind with it......pins benrey and subconsciously ruts against him a bit as a sign of dominance....please stop me now goodbye....

NO LITERALLY THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE MOMENT I STARTED TYPING

prodding gordon further and further and riling him up until gordon pins him to the floor, hard, an arm jammed behind his back and his HEV suit jammed up against benreys ass and rutting subconsciously as gordon. h. gordon. clamps down on the back of his neck and growls

benrey sucks in a rattling gasp and is like "what? ow" in a weirdly shocked yet distanced way

he cant feel where gordons hard b/c of the HEV suit but he can feel the metal awkwardly bumping against his ass Like That. and inwardly benreys on a loop of "what the fuck what the fuck" but not in a bad way in the slightest. just utterly cannot believe this is whats happening, right now, gordon freeman dry humping his ass behind a bunch of crates, not 100 feet from the rest of the science team

> gordon snapping out of it and being like...what the fuck am i doing... or....maybe the gasp makes gordon bite down harder in response...not sure

> gordon not even realizing hes doing it until that moment is so great....i dont know but....maybe he lets go and pushes off benrey, panting and wild eyed, and the image of benrey on his stomach, his bite mark in his neck, is burned into his brain

> he just doesnt say fucking anything and just dips to get jacked off by the suit maybe.... cant stop thinking about how it felt to see benrey with his teeth marks....hates himself for feeling that sick satisfaction in his chest

benrey......touching the back of his neck afterwrds, kind of dream-like, both consciously and subconsciously.......

i like making gordon freeman suffer so i want him to just angrily try to rut against his arm in private later trying desperately to get off thru this stupid busted HEV suit that he cant get out of. pathetic. gordon freeman humping his own fucking arm in a bathroom stall. like a dog

and he thinks about how benrey smelled when he had his teeth clamped on the back of benreys neck, his nose buried right against benreys jaw and neck, smelling the sweat and the hormones and feeling benreys rapid heartbeat, and his whole fucking head throbs with how bad he wants to get off

> and he just cant get off....has to deal with going back the team tense and a bit sweaty and just move on when they ask what happened. benrey doesnt say anything just stares at him and gordon cant meet his eyes. gordon tries not to fucking let benrey get under his skin cause i think hes probably mad upset and embarassed that he reverted to his like,,,more base instincts because of BENREY of all people.....

> but he still thinks about it sometimes and....he tries to distance himself from him but hes still a pretty touchy guy and he find himself around benrey still....laughing at his jokes and getting in his space once in a while. always pulls himself away when he notices but not before he takes in a deep breath of benrey's scent...

> meanwhile benreys trying to think of how to make gordon do that shit again LOL

ohmy god. oh my god.....before this.....before he tries to stop getting in benreys business and before he even recognizes what hes doing.......he like.....hes so touchy feely that he subconsciously tries to mark benrey a lot. like just doing everything in his power to rub the inside of his wrists somewhere on him. even if its barely gonna do anything b/c of the suit. its just instinct

> NOW HE ...now he realizes that he was doing that the whole time..jesus,...

> AUGH....in the buildup before this he didnt realize that he was doing it........but now he realizes he fucking misses doing that shit and kind of berates himself for doing it in the first place....like what the fuck....be Normal gordon...you cant want to fuck him....do you..?

i want him to. grrgohg i dont even know how or why this would happen but i want gordon freeman to lie supine on the ground with his hands up like paws like hes a big pupy looking for tummy rubs OKAY! BYE. I HAVE TO GO. im going to fucking sob why am i like this why is this the cutest possible thing for a man to do. i cant even think of a fucking reason why he would do this so im so fucking embarrassed

i want to fucking. i want to rub his fucking tumy and make him pop a boner from it im literally so sick of this earth

> i was literally Just typing: i just think it would be cool . To pet his tummy and keep telling him "good boy" in a Certain kind of Tone that just totally fucks him up about it . maybe flushed and tongue starting to wanna hang out of his mouth as he goes from laying flat on his back to kinda twisted to one side, breathing heavy, tail thumping hard against the floor cause hes a big dog so that thing is like a lethal weapon

> petting the fuzzy lower belly while hes already hard & needy just to make him whine Very high pitched and desperate-sounding bc its so close to what he wants but that just makes it worse 8)

> What if. Benrey pinning Gordon, maybe scritches behind his ear, as a "joke", he's a dog haha good boy wants ear scritches?? And Gordon immediately squirming and whining. Maybe even kicking his leg just a little bit

> i think it would be cool for a post-black mesa puby gordon pinned benrey to the floor with his whole body weight and humped the life out of benrey's leg while panting and drooling in benrey's ear. a total lack of regard for benrey, (of course he's into it tho) just using him like an object that's conveniently there for him to furiously get off on

> i'm thinking.... this happening after a period of prolonged teasing, like you said. rubbing his tummy and ignoring his dick

> Man ok combined with the suit edging huh? I love that, but i also kinda want gordon to sneak off to get off and discover his uh. k. kn. knot

> he sneaks off and if in this situation he can. idk. get at his dick in a bathroom or whatever. and well, he gets caught up so easily in his 'head empty' instincts mode that when he cums he's kneading that thang for like 2 minutes before he even becomes cognizant enough to notice. and then immediately panic. so idk maybe he cant get at himself for a while, right, so he didnt notice this

> i just think gordon being in the suit would not let him get at his dick and he would only be able to get off in really convoluted ways so like...he wouldnt fucking Know he had a knot he would just feel a weird pressure at the base that he doesnt know what its about. but he starts getting these fantasies of holding benrey down and staying in him when he comes and he doesnt know where the hell thats coming from.....yet. until after everything is over and he can get out of it, and the first time he jacks off again he realizes HOLY FUCK? like what the hell....but it makes sense in retrospect where those fantasies came from. but hes just super embarassed about those fantasies and pushes them down until benrey comes back into his life and activates him again

> in addition to embarassment i think he has a lot of complicated feelings about benrey and definitely feels a guilty about wanting to fuck him into the ground and fill him with cum....but GOD if benrey doesnt get to him just as much as he did in black mesa

> i think that something like this would be so unplanned and shit but like......theyve probably hung out a few times before this or more like maybe benrey has dropped into his house just to annoy him and gordon finds his ears pricking when he hears heavy footsteps around his house cause he recognizes them as benrey's...

> little rush of exhilaration maybe. cause it means they'll spend some time together and he has just all these emotions under his skin when they do. i dont know how this would happen but maybe gordon forgets to keep himself in check when benrey makes him laugh so hard he's snorting and his tail is wagging furiously.benrey tries to touch/catch his tail cause he's kinda curious about it and it never got to mess with it in black mesa. but it turns into roughhousing as gordon shoves him away a little bit but benrey keeps trying to get at it and then get at his ears

> "cmon man just let me touch them whats the big deal-" "NO!" but like hes still laughing a bit until they start really getting into it and he gets breathless and a little irritated at having to roll around and try to pin benrey's hands to the floor

hell on earth......the way his tails wagging and hes grinning and drooling a little once he gets benrey pinned.......

> little triumphant smile when he finally does.....got benrey on his stomach and he's subconsciously rutting against benrey's ass like in black mesa but hes just not noticing while he's berating benrey for losing

> talking right into his ear, and benrey lets out a little gasp when he does a particularly hard thrust and then hes like oh. fuck. he takes in a deep breath and can smell benrey's sweat and realizes hes just as horny about this as he is. cant help but bury his face in the back of his neck and lick. and benrey starts pushing back into him and talking the worst dirty talk and it makes him growl right against his neck and put his teeth there again as a warning not to move but benrey doesnt still, he just keeps talking. so gordon bites down, hard, cutting him off mid sentence with a yelp

f. fucking. benrey......arching his back into it.......pressing his hips up as high as theyll go......the angles bro.....the angles

> also: gordon popping boners more easily, even when he's just platonically excited w/ benrey..... yeah... :)

> like the thing about this is just that he got so excited from the wrasslin that he popped a boner....wasnt even thinking of horny.....

> not until benrey started gasping and arching back into him. then hes immediately aware of how this looks...like hes already basically in the position in his fantasies hes just rutting against him in the imitation of fucking

> gordon getting more frenzied by the little sounds benrey is making as he clamps down on his neck, drool dripping down his chin. benrey braces himself with one hand and gets the other to pull his pants down and then tug on the leg of gordon's down a bit because gordon is kind of. not thinking straight right now. gordon gets the message and fumbles with the buttons to get it down and like. haha i thinnk it would be fun if benrey prepped himself before this and gordon notices like. you really managed to prep urself this time? god, you really wanted this to happen. but maybe benrey had been doing it the last few times cause gordon would get in his space again sometimes and things were tense

NO GOD THIS IS GOOD. LIKE. oh my god gordon just like bitching at him and getting up in his face and Growling a couple times before while his pants are all tented from the inadvertent excitement boners that he doesnt even realize hes having.....and benrey might not be smart but hes not stupid

theres like a 50% chance theyre gonna fuck at any given time he realizes so like. why not......

even if it doesnt work out in the moment benrey still spends the whole time hopped up on the knowledge that they could have, that he was the little fucking pervert who got himself all prepped just in case gordon decided todays the day hes just gonna mount him, and honestly the way he beats his meat and fucks himself afterwards might be nearly as good as the real deal, just from that little bit of self-inflicted degradation

like u said...........he really wanted it to happen

> hhh.... maybe gordon ruts a bit against his ass and benrey guides him in and. he makes a deep growling rumble when he bottoms out. benrey feels it through his chest and gets a full body shiver as he's filled. i dont think hes fully developed his knot yet but its a tight fit. he starts fucking hard and fast into him while open mouthed panting, he cant keep his face away from the benrey's neck, licking up the sweat and burying his face there to breathe in his scent

the fucking . the desperation......every instinct in his body has been telling him to fuck benrey - yes, that benrey, fucking benrey - into the ground for......weeks now? months??

dudes probably tried everything he can think of to overcome it and to think about literally anything else when he gets off but nobody he fucks even comes close to smelling as good as benrey did when gordon had him pinned and gasping and sweating and he could smell the want rolling off him in waves.....and it sucks massive dick and he hates it

> hes been driven crazy by this thought for so long.....cant fucking control himself. wh. what if gordon managed to get a hold of a piece of benrey's clothes that he left and held it up to his face when he let himself jack off to this particular thought so he could get the scent but it jsut wasnt the same without his warm, panting body below him . he always nuts the hardest when he has it though

huffing benreys undershirt and desperately rutting into a pillow on his hands and knees with his ass fully up and hes just utterly debased right now

sad and pathetic gordon freeman humping his pillow like a dog and whining thinking about fucking benrey. if his past self could see himself like this right now he would be disgusted

> !!!!!!!!1 HIM GETTING INTO THE MOUNTING POSITION ON INSTINCT WHEN HE DOES IT...YOUR BRAIN ! i think that gordon would definitely give everything hes got to benrey when he finally gets to fuck him.

> now that hes actually doing it he's just out of his goddamn mind. benrey already being ready for him, slick and hot, just letting him push in .....i think he would definitely go insane

dudes never fucked so hard or so mindlessly in his life......for once all the neuroses just fly out the window. overcome by instinct

> letting out all these whines and moans, not even caring for how loud hes being... benrey's wanted this so fucking bad hes just eating it up, pushing back on him like an animal and getting a power trip that he made gordon this unhinged

thinking about him just being utterly shocked when benrey guides him in and he can just bury himself all the way to the hilt so easily and it makes something in his brain snap

> gordon doesnt even tell benrey when hes close, benrey can just start to feel his knot swell inside him and how it stretches him a bit past what he prepared for...but he wants it in him so fucking bad, he just lets gordon keep fucking into him

like. oh my god. does benrey even know about the knot or is this a brand new and fun surprise for him

> I DONT KNOW......I JUST REALLY LIKE THE THOUGHT OF HIM BEING A BIT CAUGHT OFF GUARD BY IT....

> being caught off guard by it but being so turned on by the feeling of it filling him that he lets out this really high, needy sound. which goes straight to gordon's dick and he just pushes into him harder and jolts his whole body with it. maybe he h....he bites down on the other side of his neck again and thrusts in one more time before coming deep in him. just shuddering from it, eyes squeezed shut and jaw locked around benrey

benrey just fuckin. face down ass up and arching his back as high as he can

(mumbling very quietly) it might be cool also if. gordon maybe.....started growling some things as he got close. a certain something. a word

you know......just......bent over benreys back......arms wrapped around benreys chest and fingers digging into the soft flesh (maybe even his titties, if youre feeling spicy).......pistoning his hips in staccato bursts while he growls.........u bh hhhhh......"mine". over and over not even realizing hes doing it b/c his brain is so fogged out on the sheer delight of rawing benrey after having thought about it non-stop

(mumbling so quietly im speaking at a pitch below the human hearing threshold) benrey hoarsely saying "'m yours, 'm yours" while hes got one hand jammed underneath himself to tug at his dick is the thing that sets gordon off and makes him come, perhaps. perhaps

and gordon just.....slumps over him, leaning his full body weight on him, panting weakly into his ear while his hips subconsciously rut just a little bit, arms still wrapped around benrey but otherwise as useless as a bump on a log while benreys jerking himself off to the wild new feeling of having that knot stretch him open and tug at him every time gordon shifts his hips

gordon nuts and becomes utterly useless but at least his knots still fat as hell so benreys still got something to work with

(sobbing) i just want to see men acting like animals leave me olone..... its about the submission to instinct......the degradation and dehumanization......and also the scent kink its all about the fucking scent kink. its about wanting to huff a guy you pretend you hate like hes a fucking magic marker and its about wanting to make him smell like u

> for scent kink, Gordon's boners due to sweaty benrey hehehehe. this is narsty -> Benrey is like "yeesh that was a lot of exertion" after their first almost-sex wrasslin match, and gets embarassed, so next time he like, wears a bunch of old spice.... but gordon doesn't get as excited. like yeah he can feel him against his back and yeah he's not soft but.. he's not panting or as hard. benrey thinks real hard when he gets home

> CLEAN SWEAT OK ITS A COMBATIBILITY THING OK. IT IS. LOOK UP THE SCIENCE OK I ...walks away. clown shoez

YOU ARE SO FUCKING CORRECT THANK U

> Maybe next time He doesn't bother with the old spice at all, and he gets real into the wrasslin... hell maybe he even uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gets gordon's head under his arm im just saying

I DIDNT WANNA BE THE ONE TO SAY IT BUT NO YEAH THATS COOL. ITS A VERY COOL THOUGHT

think about......dogboy gordon roughhousing and getting pinned down himself and snapping his teeth up at benrey like joking but not joking. you know

they both start just getting really into roughhousing b/c sometimes gordons brain gets Stressed The Fuck Out by all the added stimulation to the senses of being pupy......theres too many sounds and smells sometimes and it makes him even more neurotic and makes him start acting up and getting irritable and trying to start shit until he exerts himself enough to tire his brain out and make it shut up

maybe even like.....in the interim after black mesa but before he runs into benrey again, gordon becomes a fucking hot mess b/c he doesnt know how to deal with it all and the only way he got thru black mesa without his brainstem snapping in half was b/c he and benrey would start shit and start fighting and wrestling and the rest of the science team eventually shrugged and accepted this as a (very weird) part of their life now. he looks like hes one minor inconvenience away from a panic attack and its so sad

any kind of physical exercise would help (he takes up jogging when hes feeling stressed out, which is a lot, and hes gotten some really nice legs by this point) but theres just something different about the roughhousing. its a mental exercise as well as a physical one, so it exhausts his brain more, and unbeknownst to him, he just gets fucking endorphins from the way benrey smells and from being able to mark him with all the up-close physical contact theyre getting. so. hence the wrestling and roughhousing and gordons occasional tendency to just pounce the guy in public and start fighting him with his tail wagging and thumping like crazy

it might be even better if gordon attempts to roughhouse with just about the whole science crew at some point, just for a point of comparison

like.....its usually good, its satisfying, and it wears him out and lets him function like a human being......but theres just something about roughhousing with benrey thats really satisfying and he doesnt have the emotional intelligence to figure out what it is

gordon freeman is an idiot, is what im saying

> tommy indulges him and probably lets him win a few times, coomer soundly wins out every time and bubby probably...loses some before getting pissy LOL. i think that its fun for him to get the most Good Feelings out of roughhousing with benrey.....

AUUUUGHHH WHAT IF HE LICKED BENREYS FACE THO

g gbfbhhh god im obsessed with the way benrey laughs at him and asks "what the fuck is wrong with you?" in the act 3 commentary and thats the exact kind of vibe im feeling from him about like. everything gordon does in pupymode

> Okay, before I go to bed, I shall leave you with a Dog Thought™. Gordon probably wouldn’t be the “best trained” dog in the world because, well, he doesn’t have anyone to make him listen or obey. Heck, given his need to be in control, he probably thinks he’s the leader of the proverbial pack and nobody can tell him what to do. He’d probably slip and do quite a few “rude” and obnoxious dog things, including but not limited to being all over Benrey.

> Trying to goad him into roughhousing. Licking his face. Being in his space to the point that it even starts to make Benrey raise an eyebrow. Inappropriate marking and whatnot. [cough] And what if Benrey--in a weird reversal of the roles we usually give--is stuck with the task of… training Gordon… to behave…

> YOU KNOOOOW. Because pitting alpha dog Gordon against Benrey, who is trying to get him to be “good”...

> … Well, that could be interesting.

> Imagine if you will: Benrey realizing he needs to get Gordon under control. As much as he likes the attention, it's becoming too much. Relentless. Tables have been turned and now he's the one that's a little overwhelmed by the situation because, well, Gordon is running on pure instinct half the time. Making it hard to do things. Making it hard to live his life. Always in his bubble which was, like, fine at first but now he can't do anything without feeling a wet tongue on his face or having Gordon trying to goad him into rough housing.

> He needs so much attention. Has so much energy. It's too much.

> So, he decides he's going to try to "train" Gordon to not... do that. Benrey trying to assert dominance over Gordon, as if he were just a normal dog. Gordon, who has already marked Benrey and decided that Benrey belongs to him does not take to this very well. This is not how the chain of command works. This isn't how the chain of command works at all.

> Benrey, struggling to curb him through praise and admonitions--"good boy," "bad boy," tossing him ~treats~ if he does something right--is now facing off with Gordon, who is both enamored with the attention he's getting but utterly pissed off by the fact Benrey is trying to stop him from doing what he wants.

losing it at the tables being turned and now gordons the annoying fucker getting up in benreys business all the time and never leaving him alone. he deserves this

> They're basically both unmovable objects and unstoppable forces. Benrey is stubborn and isn't going to give up all his sweet PS3 time because Gordon won't stop humping his leg, and Gordon is not going to give up his God given right to make Benrey his property. But Benrey isn't completely averse to the idea of being Gordon's bitch. He just wants to be his bitch on his own terms.

> So, in a surprising show of... well, intelligence on Benrey's behalf, he starts redirecting Gordon's energy towards what HE wants Gordon to do.

> That's how you handle misbehaving dogs anyway. You redirect their energy. That's what all the books on dog training says anyway, and Benrey's inclined to believe it because he's read it in all two books on the subject he casually flipped through.

> So, when Gordon starts getting in his space, he starts redirecting him to touch where he wants touched. "Good boy." When Gordon starts getting a little rough, he purposefully positions himself so he gets the most out of it. "Good boy." When Gordon's licking his face, he starts trying to guide that tongue down to his neck. Feels better there. "Good boy."

> Because he's not a complete idiot. Him and Gordon both know this is sexually charged at this point. And Gordon... Gordon can bend his behaviors a little bit as he's being directed if he still gets to do what he wants (in a way), and Benrey still gets to be fondled by the nerd.

> "But part of the problem is that he is in Benrey's space all the time!" Yeah, but Benrey figured that out, too. You know what shuts up Gordon real fast? Pushing him back down on the other end of the couch and telling him to stay. And if he listens, he slowly, carefully hand feeds Gordon a treat as a reward. Pushing it into his mouth, making sure it goes all the way in. Letting Gordon lick the last bits of taste off of his fingers. He usually sits still after that. "Good boy."

i have a thought thats almost unrelated but im so desperate to give this scenario the proper context

thinking about......gordon getting out of black mesa and hes still dogboy.....and hes attempting to go back to life as normal now that benreys out of his hair for ever but one day his pupy nose catches That Fucking Smell on the air and he realizes that benreys not fucking dead. he thought benrey was fucking dead, b/c he killed him

gordon freeman losing his mind for a solid week or two trying to hunt that smell down (why?? to prove a point?? to try to kill benrey again??? uh huh.) and then when he does hunt benrey down, its like.....well, what was the plan, bud? you found him, and now youre having a staredown outside a 7/11 while benreys frozen halfway through his big gulp

i literally forgot what i was typing b/c dogy gordon tum y rub b gtfhgbb ggfabgbbg

and.....well......he doesnt know exactly what his game plan was, but he does know that benrey cant be trusted as far as u can throw him, and hes not about to let benrey wreak havoc on new mexico if he can help it, so now his new hobby is......tracking benrey across the city to keep an eye on him

and thats how they keep ending up in close proximity

and thats how u start looping in the whole role reversal thing.....suddenly gordons the one that benrey cant shake......hes a bloodhound and hes got the scent

SORRY im SORRY i crave context with the same ferocity that i crave, like, air

and then they start roughhousing when gordon tackles him to the ground one day to stop him from doing.....something......and gordon snaps being to being a normal person so quickly afterwards that its dizzying. turns out a solid 80% of what he really wanted was a sparring buddy

> good afternoon everyone this is not horny in the slightest but i just wanted to say- you know that thing dogs do where they get REALLY excited and playful when you come home from a long day at work? well i’m just thinking about. y’know how benrey has a tendency to just, vanish for a while and come back like nothing happened? think it’d be cute if he were gone for a particularly long stretch of time b4 catching up with the science team again and gordon RESPONDS in his typical annoyed, bratty fashion while his body language is saying something completely different (he still hasn’t mastered the art of puby)

> like, u know, tail wagging a hundred miles a minute, ears perked up and attentive, subconsciously getting all up in benrey’s space

Im going to Cry thats so fucking cute wtf wtf wt ff

still going insane thinking about the “good boy” thing......like...... its all fun and games until hes grappling his best friend benrey and hes got benrey in a headlock and hes plastered against benreys back from head to toe and his tails thumping excitedly against the floor and hes panting hot and harsh right against benreys ear and benrey takes that moment, right there, to choke out "good boy"

its half outright horny and half power play b/c benreys banking that either theyre gonna fuck or gordons gonna let go and be like "what the fuck, man" and then benrey can get the drop on him again

the way gordon just goes stiff after he says it.....breath getting shaky.....dick twitching once against benreys ass and the guy can fucking feel it clear as day......Augh

his tail slows.....and then fires right back up again when he tentatively rocks his hips against benreys ass and feels the sound benrey makes more than he hears it......and like for fucks sake theyve been dancing around how horny their roughhousing sessions are for weeks, this guy deserves to finally get his rocks off by dry humping benreys ass while benreys getting spots in his vision from how tightly gordons got his arm wrapped around his neck. he deserves this

gordons free hand slowly opening up and pressing flat against benreys shirt, then crawling under it so that he can feel the bare skin of his stomach......rocking his hips against the dip between benreys cheeks and whimpering when benrey says it again, breathless and hoarse. "good boy." his tongue poking out to lick a broad, wet stripe up the side of benreys neck to taste the salt and sweat and the hormones, jesus christ, hes never been able to taste if somebodys horny before but its rolling off of him in waves.......and gordons breath comes out so loud and harsh and desperate when benreys leg lifts up a little bit for him to slot his own between them more easily

just mumbling stupid horny shit like "fuck benrey, you taste so good" while his tongue lolls out of his mouth and he licks the curve of benreys ear and rolls benrey onto his stomach b/c something in the back of his brain is whispering to him that it would be a really, really good idea, and hes originally got benrey just crushed flat against the floor with his full body weight but benrey takes a rattling breath and tells him to ease up, get up offa him.....

and gordons confused at this point b/c he was pretty sure this was where this was going, he was being a good boy, but that thought doesnt last very long b/c benreys shuffling into position under him, raising his hips and pushing gordons up with him while his face and torso are flat against the floor, and, Oh. hes. hes doing that. this is what theyre fucking doing now

> gordon taking the collar of benrey’s shirt in his mouth in an crude imitation of scruffing him

every fucking bone in gordons body is telling him to move his hips, fuck benrey stupid, bury himself to the hilt, but he cant do that when theyre both still clothed so he does the next best thing and ruts against benrey like he fucking means it and like if he just tries hard enough, gets enough friction, itll be just like fucking him for real......

hes so dizzied by looping thoughts of he wants this, he wants you to mount him, like youre a filthy fucking animal, arent you? you sick fuck, you wanna mark him and breed him and hed let you, hed beg you for it, look, hes doing it right now and when he comes back down to earth, yeah, benrey is begging right now, isnt he. while hes palming at the front of his sweatpants and whimpering and calling gordon a good boy, attempting to tug his pants down to his knees so gordon can rut against bare flesh, and gordon slows down just enough to let him do it and to fumble open his own zipper to ease some of the agonizing pressure

gordon fumbling his dick out of his underwear to line it up between benreys fat cheeks and god, the feeling of skin against skin is so much fucking better than chafing against his jeans that it makes him growl against benreys neck and benrey cant pump his fucking dick fast enough. hes so encouraging, what with all those little sounds hes making and the way hes arching his back and pressing his hips up as high as theyll go, groaning into the crook of his arm "fuckin, fuck me, bro, j-just like that"

> thinking...... they both get so lost in it, they both can’t hold back long enough to fuck for real. this is too hot, benrey feels something hot and wet on his ass and gordon is curling into him. benrey’s never felt so simultaneous turned on and frustrated that he’s still empty, he’s still gonna have to wait, snd ironically that denial pushes him over too

GOD yes fuckin. coming on his ass b/c gordons so frantic and desperate that he cant wait...... but seeing his cum all over benreys ass is deeply satisfying in its own way. he smears it deep into benreys skin to mark him like that

> oh hey imma be nasty sorry but Gordon all cum-high just sort of manouvering Benrey until he can start licking his cock clean bc he likes to uh. i mean benrey's all wet and you know. he likes it. and benrey comes from that, before he can even think about sucking him off properly

> he doesnt have a thought left in his head at the moment... and can u blame him? so he just uh follows he nose....... and benrey's brain is deleted except for "GORDON FREEMAN ON MY DICK????????" bouncing around like a screensaver yes

> yeah he's not even trying to suck him off really, hes not gotten that far yet cuz hes so cumbrained, gone stupid, etc

im gonna be gross here too okay......and like. fucking. huffing and burying his nose into the crook of benreys thighs b/c he smells so intensely like sex and sweat and it makes gordon lightheaded

> YEAAH maybe he starts licking there before he gets up to his dick. it's not like he's dragging it out really so it's not long but benrey's gaping like a fish. he's trying to say something sorta but he can't get any words out and isn't even sure what he himself is trying to say

maybe he cant help himself and he just starts licking and biting on impulse b/c its your resident fuckin thigh guy here and i think benrey deserves to get em chomped like a drumstick

> and then that's gordon's tongue on his dick, bro and this neurotic mf looking so pleased and blissed out as he sloppily licks him all over is a sight he couldn't have even cooked up in his imagination before now

> benrey not coherently enough to warn him he’s like right there, his babbling incoherently at the tease of gordon’s nose and lips is gonna make him- and then his Tounge darts out and it’s over, the start of the end and he’s spurting all over gordon’s completely surprised face without even being jerked or licked through it

> maybe since gordon's been so stressed and keyed up for so long that benrey coming is a surprise but still doesn't shock him enough to clear the cumbrain, so he licks ben clean after that too, while he's twitching and whimpering etc

> think that benrey massive meat being useless and barely even touched is hip and rad even in the context of him technically being in the higher position of power

> then rests his head on beny's belly for a while, feeling very accomplished and tired. he'll panic later, don't worry

god im still thinking about. pillow humping/voyeurism

gordon freemans a bad fucking dog and sometimes he cant help himself and just starts rutting into a pillow with his ass up and his face buried in one of benreys undershirts while hes just panting and mumbling shit the whole time about benrey, benrey, benrey, why is he so fucking obsessed with benrey and with thinking about mounting him just like hes doing to his poor abused pillow every week

and. you know. maybe one day......benrey kind of.....catches him in the act. i think that would be cool. just coming home one day and cracking open his bedroom door and seeing gordon freeman on all fours, his teeth sunk deep into one pillow and another pillow between his thighs, desperately fucking it while hes groaning benreys name b/c he sure as shit was not expecting him back that early, which is why his cumbrain made him feel confident enough to crawl into benreys bed and roll around in it and mainline benreys scent from his clothes and nut on his pillow (and then feel fucking bad about it and frantically try to clean it off)

and benrey just slooowly steps back with his heart pounding out of his chest for possibly the first time in his whole life b/c he did not think gordon freeman ever wanted to fuck him, but here he is, using benreys pillow as an imitation of the real thing and jerking off in his bed

just turns right the fuck back around and goes into the bathroom and splashes some water on his face and stares down at his sudden boner

THANKS FOR READING ALL OF THIS B/C THIS ISNT EVEN GETTING INTO THE PISS STUFF THAT WEVE OBVIOUSLY BEEN THINKING ABOUT. SORRY FOR BEING LIKE THIS

#asky #writin stuff

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

A Bug’s Life

Peter Parker x Lang!reader

warnings:

a/n: i love this concept and also anon u r sweet and i just found out theres a marvel supervillainess named dragonfly but since i havent heard of her until today im using that name!

prompt: anonymous: “Can you please write a Tom Holland!Peter Parker x Female!Reader where the reader is the older sister of Cassie Lang (Antman’s daughter) and her and Peter fall in love with each other. ✨ Thanks so much! 😘”

Okay, so when you were a kid, you had always dreamed of being a superhero. You never thought you’d know your idols personally, though. You see, when your dad, Scott Lang, came back from prison, a lot changed. Suddenly, he was a superhero and no matter how much he didn’t like it, you wanted to be apart of it.

“Y/N, no, please. You’re just a kid!” You dad argued with you in the presence of your “uncles.”

“Scotty, I think it’d be good for her, you know? Like, she’s so smart and she’s got a lot of talent! I think she could learn a thing or two from Hope and Dr. Pym, right?” Uncle Luis egged on.

“Yeah, dad! Me and Hope have already been experimenting with some stuff and, I mean, Mom’s been bugging me over getting into some extracurriculars...” You reasoned with him.

“Yeah, y/n, like photography club or soccer, not being a crime-fighting bug!” Scott pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, but when he looked back up, you were giving him puppy eyes. “Don’t...don’t do that.”

“Please, dad? I just wanna follow in your footsteps. You’re my hero.” You pouted your lip and didn’t break eye contact with him until he let out a load groan.

“Your mom is going to kill me.” He mumbled while you celebrated with Luis.

You became known as Dragonfly, Ant-Man and Wasp’s sidekick partner. It wasn’t long before you were affiliated with the Avengers and other heroes from across the galaxy.

The first time you stepped foot into the Avengers Compound was unbelievable.

“If only I could tell eight-year-old me how cool she’d grow up to be...” You whispered as your dad led you through the place. You were specifically requested for recruitment following a backround check that proved that you were qualified to train as a junior scientist! The program had just been started thanks to the young Spider-Man, one of the many heroes you had met before and would actually get to know after today.

“Alright, kiddo, it’s not too late to back out.” Your dad told you.

“It’s gonna be fine, dad! You know you can visit me anytime and I’ll come to see you and Cassie every chance I can get.” You gave him a warm smile to let him know it’s alright.

“I know...I’m just gonna miss you, you know?” He shrugged, but before the conversation could continue, you were greeted by Bruce Banner, aka the Hulk.

“Welcome! Nice to see you again, Scott.” Bruce shook your dad’s hand, then turned to you. “And it’s wonderful to finally meet the girl behind the mask.” He shook your hand.

“Nice to meet you, too, Doctor Banner.” You fit your small hand into his abnormally large (and green) hand.

“I’ve heard great things about you, Y/N. I’m excited to see your talent up close.” Dr. Banner chuckled. “I told Peter to meet us here, he probably forgot.” He walked to the wall and pressed the speaker button to the intercom. “Peter, can you meet us at the South Entrance?”

Moments later, a teenage boy came barrelling towards the three of you.

“Sorry! Sorry I’m late.” He apologized profusely. You giggled at the disheveled appearance of him. His hair was sticking up in the back and his flannel was half-tucked into his pants. “I’m Peter!” He stuck his hand out for you to shake. “Peter Parker. Spider-Man.” You took his hand gladly and shook it.

“Y/N Lang. Dragonfly.” You introduced yourself. “It’s been a while since we’ve fought together.” You pointed out. “Maybe that’s a good thing.” Peter’s eyes furrowed at that comment. “You know, not fighting.” You added.

“Oh, yeah, definitely!” Peter agreed.

“So, let me guess: you overslept?” You referenced Peter’s bold look and he quickly fixed anything noticeably wrong to him. Bruce and your dad were just observing the chemistry between you and Peter, exchanging entertained glances.

“Hi! I’m y/n’s dad, Scott. Ant-Man.” Scott interrupted as he waved to Peter.

“Oh! I remember you. You got really big in Germany and I had to web your knees until you fell down.” Peter brought up old memories and you covered your mouth to stop from laughing.

“Yep! That’s me.” Scott eyes got slightly wider. “So, I really wish I could stay, but I have a meeting with a client tomorrow morning that I can’t miss. Alarm company doesn’t run itself, you know?” Silence. “Anyways, uh, y/n.” He motioned you a bit closer so you could say goodbye. He crouched down and grabbed both your shoulders. “I love you so much and I am super proud of you. This is an awesome opportunity, kiddo!”

“Yeah, I know.” You said in a sort of disappointed tone.

“What’s wrong?” Scott asked.

“I’m just gonna miss you.” You frowned.

“Come here.” Your dad pulled you into a tight hug. “I’m gonna miss you, too.” The hug lasted at least sixty seconds before he pulled away and kissed your forehead. “Okay, now here’s your bag, go do some science!” He gave you your suitcase. “I love you, Pumkin.”

“Love you, too, dad.” You smiled, almost holding back tears. You really didn’t want to say goodbye to him, but it’s apart of life. Scott watched as you, Peter, and Banner walked down the halls of the Compound. Bruce and Peter were showing you your new room!

“What’s crime like on the West Coast?” Peter asked you. “I’ve only fought crime on the East Coast. And Europe. And Space.”

“Crime is the same coast to coast. It’s crime.” You shrugged.

“Well, that’s cool. Sorry, I’m not good at small talk.” He chuckled.

“Peter, you’ll be able to show y/n her room and give her a little tour, right?” Bruce asked as he slowed down.

“Yeah, no problem.” Peter nodded.

“Alright, great. I’ll be in the lab if anyone needs me.” Bruce walked away and left the two of you to it.

“Okie doke.” Peter clapped his hands together. “Well, this is the hallway.” Is exactly how he just began the tour. The Compound was actually, surprisingly, bigger than you expected. “And that’s the training room, there’s the kitchen, your room has it’s own bathroom, but there are other bathrooms all over the place. There’s a shopping list on the fridge if you ever have any requests, but fruit snacks are banned since I ate two full boxes in one day and threw up.” Peter gave that wonderful anecdote.

“Wow, that’s...impressive?” You tried to come up with something.

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘disgusting.’” Peter and you shared a laugh as you approached your new room. He opened the door up and you stepped into the biggest bedroom you’d ever seen. “It’s taken some getting used to, you know, the big room, the big bed, the huge bathroom, all of it.”

“This is amazing.” You mumbled.

“Yeah! And Bruce said we can go shopping and decorate the room any way you’d like. I just got my license, so I’d be cool with driving.” Peter proposed.

“Yeah, I think that’d be pretty cool.” You agreed as you threw your suitcase onto the bed and started unpacking. “Uh, I’m kind of hungry...know any places to eat around here?” You started putting shirts on hangers and filling up your huge closet. You noticed Peter hadn’t answered your question yet, so you turned around to see what he was stalling for. He was just watching you. “Am I really that interesting?” You joked.

“What?” Peter blinked. “Oh! Yeah, sorry, yeah, there’s a few places around that we can go to. Assuming you’d want my company, of course. It’s your choice, really.” Peter rambled and you approached him.

“Duh, I gotta get to know my housemate better!” You pulled Peter out of the room and in a random direction. “Am I going the right way to the garage?”

“No.” He answered and you quickly changed directions. You were oddly comfortable with Peter already, and he wasn’t exactly against it. You were super sweet to him and you two have a lot of shared experience. Teen heroes trying to make a difference. And bug-themed.

Peter drove you to his favorite (and closest) restaurant for dinner, and on the way, he played his music on the playlist. Left Hand Free by Alt-J played through the speakers as you sang along.

“You like this song?” He asked and you nodded without a pause in singing. “Good, so do I. You have a really good voice.” He complimented, which definitely made you blush.

“Thanks, now sing with me!” You nudged his arm leaning on the console and resumed your singing.

“I don’t really sing.” Peter chuckled and saw you roll your eyes, then sighed. “Fine. You win.” He began to join you in song.

Well your left hand’s free, and your right’s in grip. With another left hand watch his right hand slip towards his gun, woah woah woah...

“You’re not too bad, yourself, Peter.” You told him as he pulled into a parking spot at the restaurant. The two of you walked in together and the waitress immediately recognized Peter.

“Hey there, Peter! Good to see you!” She greeted and grabbed two menus. “I see you’ve brought a date.” She raised her eyebrows and smirked.

“Oh, uh, she’s not—” Peter stuttered before you took over.

“Yep, it’s our first date! I’m y/n.” You introduced yourself.

“Well, it’s nice to see him with someone. Follow me, you two.” She let you over to a table and told you she’d be back for drinks in a minute. As soon as she left, Peter turned to you.

“When were you going to tell me this was a date?” Peter cocked an eyebrow with a crooked smile to match it.

“I’m sorry! I hope it’s okay I told her that.” You innocently replied.

“It’s more than okay.” Peter leaned forward. “I’m happy to be your date. We are moving a bit fast, though.”

“Are you sure? This is actually pretty slow for people our age. By now, they’d probably be confessing their love for one another.” You joked and he rolled his eyes.

“You are so right!” He snorted. “Jeez, it’s been so long since I’ve talked to someone my own age!” He sighed. “What about you?”

“I hang out with adults all day long. The only kid I hang out with is my little sister. Do you have any siblings?” You asked him.

“Only child.” Peter answered. “What’s your sister’s name?”

“Cassie. She’s sweet but it’s kind of weird coming back after the Blip and seeing her all big and everything.” You made random hand gestures to demonstrate that she was bigger.

“I know, right! I have classmates that I saw as infants that are now bigger than me!” He explained. The waitress came back and got you your drinks and took each of your orders. Back to the chit-chat. “Okay, now tell me, what got you into the hero-game?”

“Okay, well, my dad had just gotten out of prison, right?” That sentence itself made Peter choke on his drink. “Oh, calm down, it was a non-violent offense. He actually exposed corruption, that’s why I look up to him.” You explained.

“That’s good, that’s good. I’m glad. Go on.” He took another sip from his drink.

“Yeah, so then he robbed Hank Pym, who actually wanted my dad to rob him, then a bunch of ants broke my dad out of jail after he got arrested again for stealing from Dr. Pym, then my dad became the new Ant-Man and took down some bad guys, his new girlfriend, Hope, who is Dr. Pym’s daughter, took a liking to me and started showing me the ropes, so me and my Uncle Luis convinced my dad to let me make my own suit. Then Dragonfly was born.” You explained in full detail. “What about you?”

“Oh, yeah. Well, I got bit by a radioactive spider that was being experimented on in a lab, then I had a short-lived wrestling career, then my uncle who raised me died and I became Spider-Man.” He smiled and your jaw dropped.

“Holy shit, are you okay?” You asked.

“Oh, yeah, I’m good.” He admitted as you guys recieved your food. “So, anything else I should know about you?”

“I dunno.” You shrugged. “I like Star Wars.” You told him.

“Me too!” Peter exclaimed.

“No, you don’t. My dad told me Spider-Man called AT-AT’s ‘walking-thingies.’” You shook your head and laughed at the thought of that.

“Okay, so I’m not a huge fan, but our next date can be a Star Wars marathon?” Peter proposed.

“Yes!” You agreed a bit too enthusiastically. Peter smiled and the waitress brought an ice cream sundae with two spoons to the table.

“It’s on the house.” She told you two with a wink.

“Looks like we’re sharing.” You grabbed a spoon and got to work. Peter got chocolate all over his chin. He was kind of a messy eater. “You’ve got a little something...” You grabbed a napkin and wiped his chin clean.

“Thanks.” Peter picked his spoon up and moved it towards you. “Have you tried any of the brownie yet?” You took a bite of what he offered.

“Wow, that’s amazing.” You spoke through your mouthful.

“I hate to brag, but I make a pretty mean batch of brownies.” Peter bragged.

“You’re gonna have to prove it, Pete.” You wiped your face off and cleaned up your spot a bit. “You ready to get back to the Compound?”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s get going.” Peter left some cash on the table to pay the bill and walked you out to the car. The car ride back was filled with jokes and even more stories about your super-adventures. “So, you’re telling me that the first time you shrank, you cried?”

“Yes! Dude, it was an emotional experience. I’m telling you, I was not prepared for something so cool.” You defended yourself. “Now tell me something embarrassing about your powers.”

“I got stuck to a bathroom stall at school and they thought I was skipping class so they sent an aide and I was crying out of fear.” He admitted with pity in his voice.

“Oh, my god. That’s awful.” You giggled and grabbed his hand. “Have you recovered yet?”

“No, unfortunately not, but the handholding sure does help.” Peter squeezed your hand tighter.

“I’m glad.” You smugly replied and closed your eyes to listen to the music. You were kind of exhausted from traveling, so you knew you’d pass out the moment you hit your bed. Soon, you arrived at the Compound and Peter kissed your cheek to get you up.

“We’re hoooome.” He said in a singsong voice as your eyes fluttered open. “Sorry, that was weird.” He apologized, but you grabbed his face and pulled him in for a long kiss. More like a brief makeout, but potato, poe-tah-toe.

“You’re really cute, you know?”

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