#panic! at the discourse

[kinard-buckley]

okay after skimming the eps i think i was confusing the timeline of hen begins with chimney begins but now i think it makes the most sense for tommy to be 44-45 in the current timeline. rip 39 year old tommy. he can still have joined the army out of high school and served a six year contract (since he would've served prior to 2020 when they extended the length of contracts iirc), it just all would've happened pre-9/11.

#thank you for coming to my ted talk #tommy kinard #he also can still have been around 25 or 26 when he joined the 118 too so i get to keep my narrative mirrors!!! #panic! at the discourse #911 spoilers #text #shut up giallos

[nientedal]

Do you seriously think gay is a slur on the same level as queer? Seems pretty disingenuous to say that

did you miss the clown emoji? or the fact that i was throwing that asshole's words back at him intentionally? neither of those terms is a slur.

but i will say, in absolute seriousness: if you scream and cry and tear your hair about "queer" but say nothing about any of the other terms that, yes, have ABSOLUTELY been used in violence against the queer community, you are a goddamned hypocrite and you need to take a minute to consider the hill you've chosen to die on. you don't get to complain about one "slur" and ignore all the others. FUCK you. either be consistent in your outrage or shut the fuck up.

#askbasket #anonymous #i am tired #i am angry #and i am not interested in playing nice anymore #so come on if you think you're hard enough #panic! at the discourse

[theminecraftbee]

for the record I think the healthiest thing in this fandom is to remember that yeah, the hermits are online, there’s nothing stopping them from name searching themselves and finding basically anything you make, and the only way to stop it is to not post it publicly. (archive locking it on ao3 is also an option to be fair, but there’s nothing stopping them from getting an account!)

however, even the hermits clearly know that when they come to tumblr they are visiting Our House. so continue to be as weird as you want and when they show up you just go “yeah you came to the weird people house you can hit the back button” and keep going. like, as long as you aren’t like… sticking it in their discord or their stream chat or their tts, they’re choosing their level of engagement here, they’re in control of whether they see it, it’s fine. who cares.

all of which is to say: iskall I promise I can get weirder about you,

#discourse #<- SORT OF #anyway I am too tired to even pretend I’m scattering I mostly just don’t care #if they read my fic on stream THEN I panic (Apollo do not interact) #but until then. eh.

[the-hadal-zone-sys]

Friendly reminder: if you go through a period of rapidly forming new headmates, that DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE FAKING!! It just happens sometimes. Brains are weird.

#🪶 || jayfeather (he/it/rain/dream) #plural #endo safe #pro endo #sysmeds dni #system #pluralgang #system doubt cw #system doubt #Nix is having their millionth 'this means we're faking!!' panic of the day. #sweet starclan why does there have to be so much plural discourse... It just makes us doubt ourselves. Ugh.

[omegalomania]

Wait why does everyone hate brendon urie again?

i was tempted to just say "google it" but honestly panic's pr team is working doubletime to sanitize this bastard so here's a quick primer for those who are out of the loop.

this got long so i’m putting it under a cut. as a warning, this is going to have discussions and screenshots of people saying and doing extremely morally reprehensible shit, including racist, homophobic, and transphobic language, sexual harassment of minors, and more. tread with caution.

i'm also going to top this off with the caveat that brendon has a history of saying generally stupid and casually shitty things that a lot of people have noticed and called attention to, but these were largely unremarkable in the sense that they were the sort of things that i was not surprised to hear a privileged cis dude say. so while that's definitely a factor - the guy has said very shitty, openly racist, gross things, etc., numerous times and on numerous platforms and i do not want to overlook that - i also don't want to pretend like that’s the only thing going on here because there is a lot of other heinous shit at work.

i’m also not going to go into the intricacies of song meanings or lyrics and the like aside from a couple touchstone examples. it’s pretty public knowledge by now that i don’t know how but they found me (henceforth referred to as idkhow, fronted by dallon weekes, who worked/toured with panic for a good eight years as its bassist) has quite a few numbers that take implicit and explicit aim at panic, most prominently the video for their single “do it all the time,” which featured dallon setting fire to all the suits he used to wear on tour with the band. it’s an open secret that dallon was not treated very well during his time with panic, but we’ll get to that. the point here is that i don’t want to focus on conjecture of speculation when we have a wealth of very hard evidence at our disposal.

so let’s get into it.

the real Poop started up late 2019 iirc, when numerous panic fans started passing around stories about zack hall, panic's bodyguard and security guy who had been with the band since the fever era. as the only person who had actually been with the band as long as brendon himself, zack had a fair amount of sway with the fans and was notably very very close with brendon. as more and more people spoke up, it became apparent that zack had done a whole lot of things that i would term as "incredibly fucked up" over the years with people being generally afraid to say anything. it’s been pointed out to me that these accusations only picked up traction around that time; fans have been raising flags about zack’s behavior for years without any reaction from panic’s management.

around this time, discussion began circulating that brendon himself had sexually harassed/assaulted multiple fans (many of them minors at the time). some of these accusations, such as his attempt to solicit nudes from fans, have proven to be way muddier to and harder to confirm, seeing as brendon was allegedly not in charge of his socials for some of this time and one of the people using his handles to solicit fans for nudes was reportedly a former stalker of his, chelsey lynn.

i think it is worth noting that brendon has brought up his history with “stage gay” with founding member, guitarist, composer, and lyricist ryan ross and mentioned that brendon’s attempts to get handsy on stage were not always taken kindly (emphasis mine):

For our first headline tour I would go up to Ryan our guitar player, and like kiss him on the neck or kiss him on the mouth and he would be so mad. I was like, I just want to kiss you bro.

(that’s also the interview where brendon tried to both-sides the issue of roseanne being a hideous fucking racist. so, fun stuff.)

in any case, it took brendon four months to respond to any of the accusations leveled at him and zack. he ended up doing so by filming a two-minute apology on his twitch account (which was locked to subscribers only, meaning it was essentially monetized) [twitter thread summary for those who can't stomach it], only to say that he was just too anxious to say anything and that while zack had been removed from his position, he and brendon would remain close friends. he did not respond to any of the allegations against himself, and proceeded to basically go completely radio silent on all social media until reemerging in 2022 to promote viva las vengeance.

(contrast to this to how speedily he fired touring guitarist kenny harris in 2018 when multiple allegations arose that he was soliciting underage girls. he was removed from the tour in less than twenty-four hours. while the expediency of this was praised at the time, it retroactively raises a lot of questions as to how much brendon and/or zack knew about this behavior beforehand and were simply waiting for a good PR call to do something about it.)

brendon seeing no issues with zack’s behavior and only doing something about it when backed into a corner is very much not a good look, and is suggestive of the possibility that he’s complicit in or at the very least tolerant of this kind of fuckery.

but wait. theres more.

beyond the genuine fucked up behavior, brendon also has a history of severely mistreating his bandmates. we could get into the politics of the infamous schism that split founding member ryan ross (along with bassist jon walker) from brendon and the band’s drummer, spencer smith, but that is its own bag of worms and this post is long enough already. that drama is very well-covered. however, i think it’s worth noting that out of every single member of the band that has come through it, both creative contributor and touring member, the only former member to depart the band amiably was spencer, who took his leave because of struggles with alcoholism. he’s the only one who remains on good terms with brendon to this day, but he’s also technically brendon’s boss at this point since he helps manage the label dcd2, of which panic at the disco is a part.

most apparent and well-documented of brendon’s spotty history with his own bandmates is his treatment of dallon weekes and his wife, breezy weekes, while the former was writing and touring with the band. in that little zack hall clusterfuck above you can see places where breezy talked about being repeatedly harassed but electing to keep quiet so that dallon wouldn't risk losing his job. reportedly they both went to panic's management to put a stop to it, but the bad behavior continued, with both zack hall and brendon’s wife, sarah urie, as propagators. there was public outcry as people insisted that dallon and breezy were making this up for attention. however, eventually former touring guitarist (from 2009-2012) ian crawford (along with his sister), both spoke up to corroborate that zack's behavior (and brendon's enabling of it) were very much recurring issues and were part of the reason that ian left panic in the first place. ian's twitter is no longer active, so all i have are screenshots on tumblr for this one.

dallon has not spoken of his time spent with panic with much fondness. he replaced bassist jon walker in 2009 and contributed creatively on both vices and virtues (2011) and too weird to live, too rare to die (2013). for the former, he was responsible for the concept and album art. for the latter, he got writing credit for all but two of the tracks (casual affair and end of all things), and you can even find an early version of "far too young to die" that was originally penned for one of dallon's earlier projects, the brobecks. the controversial track "girls/girls/boys" (as well as “all the boys”) from too weird was written for dallon's wife, breezy, as a celebration for her pansexuality. the finished product would end up being about an alleged threesome brendon had.

in 2015 dallon stated that he would no longer be involved in panic’s writing process but would continue to serve as touring bassist before departing officially in 2017 and focusing all his efforts on the aforementioned idkhow along with former falling in reverse drummer (and former fellow brobecks bandmate) ryan seaman. while dallon has remained relatively cagey about his time with panic (as is entirely within his rights), he has on occasion commented that he often felt bullied and belittled in the workplace, and once referred to zack hall as "the actual worst person [he had] ever met."

breezy has been more frank about what dallon had to deal with during his time with the band and over time, dallon has been more up front about this as well. turns out dallon was underpaid to the point where he had to take up a second job cleaning carpets while touring with panic, and working side jobs and donating plasma for gas money between tours. this continued well into 2010 and possibly for longer. the ratio was reportedly something like $400 a night compared to brendon's $15k paycheck, so take that as you will.

that's most of what i can remember. i tried to sauce everything i could but please let me know if i missed anything. i also tried to embed the images but doing so kept breaking the damn post cause this is a webbed site so you only get links SORRY

tldr brendon urie is self-absorbed prick who hoards credit, mistreats his musicians, shelters predators, and may very well be a predator himself. fuck him.

also, while i definitely don't want to downplay the severity of just how horrendous a lot of this shit is, in the interests of not wrapping this on a totally down note i do want to mention that people were writing brendon and panic out of the "emo trinity" legacy as early as mid-2019 because everyone hated pray for the wicked that fucking much. after having to endure the musical travesty that is high hopes innumerable times during every single 20-minute grocery store run i was ready to chalk up my dislike of him to sheer annoyance so you can imagine my surprise when i learned that not only was this annoyance justified i wasn't actually hating him nearly enough.

#panic at the disco #brendon urie #yeah whatever ill maintag this just in case people arent aware #also yes you can reblog this as a general rule i never put something on this blog im not ok w people reblogging #have fun go wild whatever but people looking to pick a fight WILL be blocked #i was watching a lot of this going down in real time but there arent a lot of useful consolidations of all this information #and i'd like to stress that this is a fraction of a fraction of whats out there #theres also a lot of discussion on tiktok reportedly?? idk i dont have a tiktok and never will #if anyone feels like adding anything feel free but do please source it #i have had to fight off TOO many intrepid discoursers with a pointy stick to deal with unsauced claims currently #askin hours #anon #SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG also i have been drinking quite a bit at this point hopefully this is all coherent lol

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

guys, my dudes, girlies, fine people I am cupping your face in my hands and asking you to listen to me.

gay panic is a concept that is now at this very minute law in far too many places that allows heterosexuals beat the shit out of someone who they perceive to be homosexual and get away with it without repercussions. they say ‘this person was hitting on me and I panicked’ and they get out of any trouble or have a lighter sentence. it doesn’t matter if the person was actually hitting on them. it doesn’t matter if they were actually gay. they get to say ‘I panicked because homosexuality is sooooo scary’ and they get away with vicious and bigoted assault.

I trust you know this is not a good thing, and there is a reason lgbtqia+ folks and those who value human rights are fighting so hard to have these laws removed.

this is still at this moment an active problem, and for those of us who don’t have it around anymore it’s still very very recent and very very painful.

please, I’m begging you not to draw a cute picture of your favourite slash pairing and say one of them is having gay panic when they see the other person. because many people in your audience will read that as the character A immediately beating the shit out of character B (not in a homoerotic fashion) and maybe even killing them because they’re gay

gay panic is literally a legal defence for a hate crime

please don’t ruin your lovely artwork by using the term. there are other ways to say what you mean. just say oh no he’s hot or whatever. it’s a trope for a reason. we love oh no he’s hot.

#people will say queer is a slur and then say uwu gay panic is so cute #fandom #fandom discourse #gay panic #yaoi #yuri #I don’t know what to tag this so people will see it

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

It is truly fascinating how the common tumblr narrative around John and Paul somehow makes the guy who literally got violent multiple times over people insinuating he was queer appear more "on board with the whole gay thing" than the guy who said some awkward/dated stuff in interviews a couple of times.

#im not trying to defend paul here btw. or tear down john #i just find the reading of john as like the Self-Accepting King between them.... myopic #i mean. it touches on the whole Was It Reciprocated Thing really #the idea being: If We Assume Paul Reciprocated He Is MORE Repressed Than John Because John Hinted More Heavily That He Wasn't Straight #but like.. #that's Exactly why some of us think.... maybe Paul IS straight 😭😭 or at least it's not nearly as big of a deal to him than it was to John #(perhaps because he's bi but treats it more casually than John ever felt capable of) #any reading of John and sexuality that concludes something LESS fraught than Paul's mostly benign slight weirdness/curiosity #seems to me.... like McLennon tunnel vision #like because John never gay panic attacked PAUL all that ugly stuff he did can be set aside. #also. look at the way people think about India #and the Get Back convo about it. it's all like JOHN'S NOT IN DENIAL. HE WAS CLEAR. HE WANTED IT. HE WAS ALL IN. #Was He? #anyways. i am becoming chatty these days. #as always people are welcome to discuss this with me even if we disagree #fiona.docx #jp speculation #discourse

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

also, this is probably a stupid complaint, but i hate that spop pushes the idea of “cats are mean and aggressive, it's in their nature”.

as someone who has raised a LOT of cats in their lifetime, i need y'all to understand that cats aren't inherently mean. they value their boundaries (like any human being. shocker!) but once you gain their trust, they are some of the most compassionate and empathetic creatures you can come across.

#so many of my cats have comforted me when i was crying or having a panic attack #they've been so considerate of me when i was too depressed to get out of bed and feed them #they're only aggressive if you hurt them or make them uncomfortable #or if they're playing with you #can you see i'm a cat person #i like both honestly i dont get the cats vs dogs discourse #rant over lol #spop critical #spop salt #spop #spop criticism #spop discourse #she ra #anti spop

[anti-catradora-collection]

just saw a post about how "adora getting mad that the other princesses aren't taking her girlfriend seriously will never not be funny" and i'm feeling so weird knowing that adora literally had a panic attack right after this scene because of her stress over the situation + fear of being insufficient + fear of CATRA.

DO NOT GO AFTER THE PERSON WHO SAID THIS, PLEASE!

#they also said that adora's face in the second screencap screams “gay panic” #well for me it screams “IM UNCOMFORTABLE” #anti c//a #anti c/a #anti catradora #anti spop #spop critical #spop criticism #spop discourse #spop salt

[muffingnf]

forever thinking about how nothing will be the same as before this situation and george won't be the same ever again. i just hope he will take of his mental health after this, no matter what it takes, even if it means he will be far more distanced

anon this is seriously making me suicidal

on a real note i mostly worry about how this will impact his ability to form connections and make relationships with other people. like imagine feeling too cautious to go near non-ccs because oh god what if theyre a secret fan or what if they put something online and ‘expose’ me. but then u can’t go near fellow cc’s either because you cannot tell who has genuine intentions and who just wants to fuck you over later down the line. and none of this is even shit fans like me should even be thinking about i cannot stress enough how none of this should’ve been public and i feel so fucking bad for him that he’s had to be so publicly vulnerable after being so private his whole career.

on another note i suppose dnf will be trauma bonded for life now

#i see many people saying he’ll distance himself from his community and maybe he will #but this isnt even a situation that fans caused it was another cc #and yes many fans overreacted and took part in horrible things out of fear and panic initially #but george is genuinely so kind he is SO kind and i don’t think he would hold that first response over peoples heads #whether thats his fans or his ex-friends #i hope he’s taking care of himself and i hope he knows he’s allowed as much time to process as he needs #i was gonna say a good idea would be for him to go home for a bit and see his family but then j remembered his fawking OPPS would be just #down the road #fuck his stupid life #anyway #discourse #just in case #tw george situation #nova.ask

[peter-must-die]

gerard way and people speculating about his gender identity

so this is my first post and of course, it had to be discourse because i refuse to shut the hell up about this phenomenon that is happening not only to gerard way. also i saw someone else talk about this so this is me talking my shit!

so if u have the pleasure of not knowing, let me indulge you, without going into too much detail theres this one woman on tiktok who claims that gerard way is a trans woman, she not only thinks it but truly believes it! wow!! so heres my two cents.

1, in WHAT world is it okay or NORMAL to be speculating about someones gender identity?? not only is it EXTREMELY invasive but it is flat out disrespectful!!!!!! as a trans man it is fucking TERRIFYING having people speculate about ur gender, i can hardly imagine what it would feel like on a mass scale since gerard is a fucking celebrity. if there is a chance of him being a trans woman, you insisting that he is online and constantly yapping about it is NOT going to make him come out, a prime example of this is dan and phil they were closeted for like a decade or so and it was not helped by fans speculating if they were gay or fucking or whatever.

2, this womans ONLY proof that gerard is a trans woman is that he advocates for trans rights and wears dresses and feminine clothing on stage. sorry ! i thought we all moved on from clothing having gender to it !! also in what world does being a fucking ally make you trans??? and god forbid a man be in touch with his feminine side or show an OUNCE of femininity.

3, as FANS of gerard we have no fucking right to be speculating about his personal life on ANY LEVEL!!!!!!! hes a very private person and in reality all we truly know about his personality is clips from him in interviews, his stage presence is completely different to who he really is!!

ok thats it also people are doing this with kurt cobain let that man rest holy SHIT!!!

#my chemical romance #gerard way #emo #frank iero #scenecore #fandom discourse #transgender #trans woman #bandom #emo brainrot #gender identity #fall out boy #panic! at the disco

[nientedal]

haha naw I just masturbate furiously to anonymous hate :)

#this is the funniest thing i've ever seen in my life #i finally got anon hate y'all!! #i've finally made it on tunglr.com #and it's for [checks notes] two swings and two misses! but thanks for playing lol #protip: sending hate on anon indicates you either (A) know you can't actually defend your point of view #or (B) are a damn coward and you know it #so either way #way to fail bro #(watch them take this totally seriously lmao) #[pats roof of car] this baby can fit so little critical thinking in it #panic! at the discourse

[composeregg]

disclaimer: I am a volunteer for the OTW. I am speaking for myself, not on behalf of the organization, anything expressed here is my own. I may be wrong about some things, I'm very much not involved in any of this as part of my work. Additionally, I haven't run this by anyone else in the org, so take that as you will. I'm just a person, hoping to reassure other people, fans like myself.

A few people have come to me asking questions about this, and asking clarification already, so I just.... Want to reassure everyone. A lot of people follow me and know I volunteer, even if I don't talk about it much.

No, Ao3/OTW is not endorsing AI. Scraping is not being allowed or encouraged (you can, in fact, see here in this link, the code of Ao3 disallowing scraping). There is only so much the organization can do to prevent this. If you set your works to logged-in users only, it does somewhat give more protections. Data miners are very proactive, and prevention measures can only do so much. After the data is harvested, with or without consent, it is that much harder to pry back and out of those hands.

Many, MANY people are panicking. They saw an excerpt of an interview in this week's OTW Signal news roundup. This interview was from someone on the legal team of the OTW. She was speaking not for the organization, but as someone with credentials in the fields being discussed. Much of this has been misinterpreted and relayed second-hand. It was a conversation primarily about trademarks and AI.

I don't know the course the OTW is going to take regarding AI with the law, myself. That's not my field whatsoever. I can say, how would we even have the TIME or ABILITY to "develop an AI to be integrated with AO3" as some people speculate? It took our volunteer coders years to work out a block/mute function and get it from idea through testing to implementation.

The OTW does not want to just feed everyone's fanfic into AI. The organization may end up taking a middle-ground stance on the legality of AI and AI-generated creations. I don't think that Disney would care much for the distinction between "This is an AI generated item infringing on our trademark, remove it" versus "This is a fan-made item infringing on our trademark, remove it." The legality of AI versus fan creations is a very tricky topic, and from my understanding, that was the focus of the interview and what was being discussed (along with some other ideas).

Protecting the right to fanfiction and fan creations existing is the primary goal, and navigating new, emerging technologies that could find similar arguments, whether or not people at the org agree with them, means they may end up protecting them somewhat. This is not a betrayal of fandom. Every volunteer is an individual, and opinions within the org are all over the place, but we are all fans as well, and we don't want random bots just lifting all our fics and creations without any say-so either.

The topic of AI is a landmine right now, and I do think it was insensitive and ignorant of the current fandom/political sphere to highlight something like that interview, especially in the way it was done. It immediately led to panic, distrust in the org, and people spinning off numerous infeasible ideas because they simply do not have information, and hear rumors or don't parse a conversation about legalese well (I know I had trouble with it! A lot of my understanding comes from reading discussion about it myself). Nuance is important, as is the fact that nothing is ever published or discussed in a vacuum.

I don't blame anyone for having misinformation, I get it. It can be hard to find correct info. Transparency is something the org is not always great at (it's being worked on! Everyone is aware it's an issue! We are just very,,,,, very slow at implementing changes, as a volunteer-run organization). Time is the OTW's most valuable resource, and we are constantly, constantly in demand and in need of more time and manpower. It can make communications difficult, and very stressing.

The OTW is a non-profit, it is not selling any data. It does not want to sell your data. The money it makes is solely from donations. There is not going to be any selling to AI, there is not going to be any attempt to implement AI for the OTW itself.

Honestly, beyond that, I'm super not qualified to talk about the legal aspects of everything in the article/interview. I don't know all the inner workings of the org, I don't know all the thoughts and opinions and legal stances. I don't even know all the nuances of AI legal issues myself. I just know that I don't think it can replace creativity, and that it could be a fascinating tool in a better world (but I do not trust how it could be used here and now).

I hope this helps anyone who sees it. I hope that this is a reassurance, and that maybe it will help people feel better. I know panic is a powerful force, and I know there is a great distrust in any organization even mentioning AI (usually for valid reasons!). I know information can be hard to find, and legal discussions hard to read, I've been there with the org myself.

But the OTW is a group of people trying their best to make sure that fandom has protections. There are like, a thousand of us or something. Not all of us are going to agree on everything, but we all agree fans deserve a space to create and have those creations protected. One of the inciting incidents of its founding was a hatred of the idea of some company trying to profit off of fanworks with complete disregard for the fans themselves.

The OTW was founded to prevent fans from being taken advantage of, and to protect fandom's right to exist. It is never going to betray that core tenet. Partially because we're all fans ourselves and have a vested interest in keeping it that way, but additionally: This organization is nothing without its volunteers, and if someone high up on the board or something genuinely tried, we would know and we would make ourselves known.

(Just look into the Board Election of 2015!)

#otw #organization for transformative works #ao3 #archive of our own #ao3 discourse #egg speaks #ao3 blogging #otw blogging #I will turn off reblogs if people try to start shit #also if staff tells me I fucked up then like. I will delete this tbc #I just. want to say something. I'm just some person #but I don't want other people to feel like they need to panic #or be afraid #or take down their works #also this feels repetitive but yolo

[therobotmonster]

If you have something to add to the discussion, put it in a reblog.

And if you're making, or even backing up, an accusation, put your evidence in that reblog.

I will repeat this for the people in the back. Commenting in the tags was invented as a tradition back when the alert system on tumblr was very, very annoying. That has changed, it's now just tradition, and should be used where appropriate.

You can use it for dittos and attaboys and 'OMG I can't evens' and the like, but if you're trying to actually contribute to the conversation at hand, particularly if it's a serious issue, REBLOG like an adult.

I saw this on the recent Palworld thead:

None of these accusations is supported or sourced, and I've made a separate post to explain why in depth on deepdreamnights. But what's relevant here is if you say something like this, you should be linking to your evidence, or at the very least making it a proper reblog so it can be involved in the discussion.

It is your responsibility to check the veracity of claims that you pass on to others.

Really read over that post and then think back to John Green.

Or, just, you know, any moral panic in goddamn history.

Passing on rumors of wrongdoing, particularly when you "have no knowledge" of the situation, is irresponsible and potentially dangerous behavior. There's this attitude that if the issue is serious enough that the safeguards can be taken off and alarm bells rung. But that's backwards. The more serious the issue, the more effort should be put to verifying them correctly.

If you consider plagiarism a deeply important issue, then you should be more careful, not less, when passing on accusations of it. Doing otherwise isn't just a mistake, it's an ethical failing.

#tumblr culture #rumors #accuracy #palworld #responsible posting #moral panic #AI discourse #tumblr etiquette #how to tumblr #hellsite

[the-scungles-of-crungles]

Mutuals save me from the mood I'm in

Pleas lmao

#(Sometimes when I get into discourse even if mild. I have a mild panic attack type thing) #(And then my chest feels weird for a while)

[moonlit-positivity]

Preparing for a Crisis Situation

[Disclaimer: I am not a therapist. I am just some rando on the internet with way too much time on her hands (😭). Contrary to what I've written, the advice in this post is not a substitute for real crisis support. If you are feeling actively suicidal and unsafe, please contact your local crisis unit and take your health & safety seriously.]

This is going to be a long post. Heads up for that.

So you're having a real bad panic attack & contemplating suicide. Your body is activated, your head is spinning, you're gonna reach for the knife. What can you do to make it better? Let's talk options outside of crisis support.

But first, let's talk about why there is a need to address options outside of crisis support in the first place, and why I feel the need to write something like this to begin with. Because yeah, ultimately, this is such a tricky topic to talk about and it's not something to be fooled around with. But for some of us who are actively fighting these types of thoughts on a daily basis, I hope this post can give you a sense of how to imitate a safety zone for when it goes from bad to worse and you feel like there's no one to call.

Suicide awareness is the issue of how to cope with stress. How to cope with the panic and anxiety and hopelessness of when it gets too big to handle by yourself.

The issue with crisis support, is that there is such a huge problem around institutionalization that forces people into a situation with unsafe mental health professionals and abusive staff. And it's incredibly dehumanizing to be forced into the equivalent of an adult time out in a facility that may or may not treat you like you're an actual human being in a safe, clean, and humane facility.

Lets not pretend that people arent still being forced into hospitalization as a form of control and punishment and abuse and subjected to abuse and unsanitary conditions. It still happens. Yes. Even in 2024, this is still an every day occurrence.

So when the panic hits, let's talk about what you can do to plan & prepare for a real crisis situation.

Preparing for Crisis: Safety Plan

Ah yes, the grippy sock vacation ole' reliable. The safety plan.

It may feel dumb & stupid to fill this out, but the purpose is to become aware of what triggers your panic and anxiety, and also what helps vs what makes it worse. That way you can counteract it with your favorite soothing methods. This helps so you can also gauge it on a scale of "yeah I can coast this out by myself" vs "nah fam I need help".

Here is an example of mine:

I feel unsafe when: My alters are too loud, I'm being talked over, not being listened to, the neighbor is outside yelling, I'm having flashbacks, anxiety, triggered, being looked at by others, breathing too hard, breathing too fast, body feels heavy, body feels frozen, can't move, can't breathe, crying a lot, body convulsing, racing thoughts, paranoid thoughts, fearful, heart beating too fast, etc

My triggers are: talking too loud, talking too soft, talking at all (I am nonverbal sometimes), flashbacks, anxiety, yelling, emotional abuse, personal space, privacy, being told what to do, loud noises, can't control my environment, being looked at

What would help: space to be alone, throwing a tantrum, coloring, ripping up a cardboard box, puzzles, activities, video games, teddy bears, comfort items, talking w my therapist, looking out a window, daydreaming, singing, humming, music, warm blanket, juice box, snacks

What would not help: looking at me, direct eye contact, yelling, screaming, accusatory language, demeaning me, being mean to me, hurting me, physical touch, comfort

Who can I call: my therapist, my cat, my teddy bear, my case manager, my neighbors, warm line, etc. Talk to your favorite fictional characters. They are there for you.

Where can I go: outside, the park, local burger joint, my kitchen, the bathroom, the spare bedroom, etc.

Preparing for Crisis: Remove The Weapons

Quarantine any and all unsafe items. Knives, guns, medicines, needles, extension cords, etc. Throw them out, lock them up, or give them to someone safe to hold onto. Remove them from the house entirely.

We can go deeper with this. Kitchen knives got you feeling stabby? Replace them with plastic kitchenware. Razor blades & meds? Disposable razors & medisets.

Spend some time considering what changes you can make around the house. Make your home feel safe.

Warning Signs: Change Your Environment

The quickest way to ground and self soothe is to make an immediate change in your environment. If the room is dark, turn on the lights. Open the windows. Open the doors. Step outside. Step into a different room. If there's no sound, turn on the TV. Put on a podcast. YouTube white noise and soundscapes.

This can work in other ways too. Grab the headphones. Grab a peppermint or a lemon drop or something spicy/sour. Grab something to drink. Grab a stim. Slime, play doh, something with texture, something you can fidget.

Take some time to think about what you'd like to use. You can put together a lil box full of trinkets and odds and ends for quick access. Control your environment to simulate what you'd imagine your ideal safe space to look like.

Warning Signs: Reconnect with Reality

Stand outside. Seriously, just do it. It helps. Open a window. Get some fresh air. Just do it. 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes.

Take deep breaths and ground yourself. Focus on something around you. Anything. What is it? What color is it? How big or small is it? Can you touch it? Is it cold? Is it warm? Can you squeeze it?

Warning Signs: Disconnect From The Stress

Put the phone down and get into an activity. Play a video game. Make some art. Draw your feelings. Color. Crochet. Anything hands on. Step away from the situation and do something relaxing or fun or otherwise stimulating for ur hands and brain to focus on.

This sucks. Yeah. But you're gonna make it worse by continually interacting and engaging with whatever it is that's stressing you out so big and hard that you're spiraling.

Even just 5 minutes will help. But it's a good idea to try for longer. Do you ever really consider how much stress you take in from other people's bullshit on the internet? Think about it.

Crisis Mode: Shut Down & Nest

One way to coast through a massive panic attack is to bunker down somewhere safe and sweat it out. So make a nesting space for you to crawl to while your body cries it out.

This can look like crawling in bed with the lights ON so you can still see and ground yourself through it, or laying on the couch with the lights ON and other comforts around.

Nesting is also good for recovery as a whole. Nesting can give us that sense of safety, that sense of comfort we're missing out on. It's a good idea to consider what areas of your home feel safest for you, and how you can make a lil nesting hole for you to run to. Make it safe, make it private, make it all your own.

Crisis Mode: Human Interaction

It's important to know when you can't coast it out on your own. Seek a human interaction. Any human will do. Neighbors, friends, family, warm lines, support groups, etc. Call someone. Inbox someone. Talk it out. Take a walk. Look at humans. Be human and be around humans.

If none of those apply, here's a really niche thing to try: Podcasts, let's plays, and YouTube videos are seriously goated for the friendly and warm atmosphere of having a conversation with someone.

But please remember if that is not enough then you should really consider reaching out to someone who knows you exist.

Crisis Mode: Where To Find Support

National suicide hotline: call or text 988

Reddit: r/adultsurvivors, r/C-PTSD, r/traumatoolbox

Discord: Trauma Survivors

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)

Aftermath: Self Care

Look, nobody likes this okay and that's fine. Shower, or take a sink wash up. Baby wipes. No clean clothes? Go naked. There are no rules. You deserve to feel human again.

Do one good soul cleansing thing for yourself. This can be anything. Even just saying it out loud, "damn that was rough. I'm glad I made it." Self care is a mindset. It doesn't have to be big. Take some care for your self, however you need it.

Aftermath: Emotional Regulation

Take a deep breath. Soothe your nervous system. Roll your shoulders, wiggle your body, and breathe. Yes, there is actual science behind this shit. I have a longer & more in depth post about it here.

Final thoughts

Please remember that none of this is actually acredited or liscenced or anything at all. These are just things I've personally gone through that have helped me coast out massive panic attacks that had me spiraling into unsafe territory.

Hope this helps 🌸

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