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poohsources · 8 months

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🐝 * ― 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑺: 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑼𝑺𝑰𝑪𝑨𝑳 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛ if we changed back then, we could change again. ❜ ❛ what can i say? i'm a sucker for happy endings. ❜ ❛ i'm sorry, are you talking to me? ❜ ❛ i would give anything to be like that. ❜ ❛ are we gonna have a problem? ❜ ❛ you've come so far, why now are you pulling on my dick? ❜ ❛ time for you to prove you're not a loser anymore. ❜ ❛ you can join the team or you can bitch and moan. ❜ ❛ mr. no-name kid, say who might you be? ❜ ❛ it's fine if you don't agree, but i would fight for you if you would fight for me. ❜ ❛ happiness comes when everything numbs. ❜ ❛ does your mommy know you eat all this crap? ❜ ❛ i learned to cook pasta, i learned to pay rent; i learned the world doesn't owe you a cent. ❜ ❛ you heard it man, it's time to rage! ❜ ❛ so wait, it's lime, then salt, then shot? ❜ ❛ you're doing it wrong! ❜ ❛ really? 'cause i feel great. ❜ ❛ dreams are coming true when people laugh but not at you! ❜ ❛ i didn't need your help. ❜ ❛ i can't believe you actually came. ❜ ❛ why d'you gotta be so weird all the time? people wouldn't hate you so much if you acted normal. ❜ ❛ thirty hours to live - how shall i spend them? ❜ ❛ sorry, but i really had to wake you. ❜ ❛ let's go you know the drill; i'm hot and pissed and on the pill. ❜ ❛ you say you're numb inside but i can't agree. ❜ ❛ how'd you find my address? ❜ ❛ no sleep tonight for you, better chug that mountain dew. ❜ ❛ no one sees the me inside of me. ❜ ❛ keep going. this has to be good enough to fool the cops. ❜ ❛ i never knew about her pain. ❜ ❛ don't talk mean like that. ❜ ❛ what did they do to you that you hate them so? ❜ ❛ you are the only thing that's right about this broken world. ❜ ❛ they'll die because we say they must. ❜ ❛ what the fuck have you done?! ❜ ❛ let's be normal. see bad movies, sneak a beer, and watch tv. ❜ ❛ don't you want a life with me? ❜ ❛ if you could let me in, i could be good with you. ❜ ❛ so what's it gonna be? i wanna be with you. ❜ ❛ but your love's too good to lose. ❜ ❛ you're the one i choose. ❜ ❛ there's nowhere to hide if i say the wrong thing. ❜ ❛ but i believe any dream worth having is a dream that should not have to end. ❜ ❛ no, you wouldn't understand! ❜ ❛ try me! i've experienced everything you're going through right now. ❜ ❛ you don't know what my world looks like! ❜ ❛ they made you blind, messed up your mind but i can set you free. ❜ ❛ i was meant to be yours! ❜ ❛ don't give up on me now. ❜ ❛ i can't make this alone! finish what we've begun. ❜ ❛ i am all that you need. ❜ ❛ please don't leave me alone. you were all i could trust, i can't do this alone. ❜ ❛ no one here deserves to die except for me and the monster i created. ❜ ❛ i wish we met before they convinced you life is war. ❜ ❛ i wish you'd come with me ... ❜ ❛ i am damaged, far too damaged, but you're not beyond repair. ❜ ❛ hope you'll miss me, wish you'd kiss me. ❜ ❛ i'd be honored if you'd let me be your friend. ❜

#rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #roleplay meme #sentence starters #musical starters #musical sentence starters #rph #requested.

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amazingabellini · 4 months

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Every Single Thing 621 is Called on Rubicon

Dog Augmented Human C4-621 You 621 Intruder Illegal Enemy AC Merc Corp AC Registration number Rb23 Raven Callsign: Raven Mercenary Corporate Merc Corporate Dog Interloper Military Force Hostile AC Shameless Coral scavenger Independent Mercenary Hunter Sharp A local An Independent A merc who only kills for credits A real merc G13 G13 Raven Kiddo Freelancer Maggot Fake Redgun Tagalong Sewing club member Not a total amateur Not a pro Corporate Vulture Mere pawn Scavenger Hound of Walter Competition Good for nothing Good for something Wretched vulture Unidentified AC Damn Hyena Rotten Money-grubber Corporate scum Enemy backup One of the infamous Walter's hounds Wallclimber War buddies Comrade Buddy Intruder Doser Shameless Corporate Dog Greedy Mercenary Greedy hound Daring A symbol of resolve Only Other Person That Can Keep Up With Me You Again Old Augmentation Recalcitrant Mutt Vermin Pest The Pest of Rubicon Code 15 Raven the Wallclimber Code 31C Solo Independent Mercenary Pitiful Dog Gen 4 Fine hound Another dead dog Older type of Augmented Human Tourist No ordinary tourist Smart Cookie No slouch A cut above the rest Not afraid of anything Belongs in a museum Freak My favorite little Tourist A certain someone New friend The Freelancer from the dam raid Target Walter's Hound Solo AC Independent Merc Trespasser to Rubicon Walking Advertisement Mascot AC of Unknown Affiliation Suspected Corporate Hire Single AC Code 5, Unknown AC Independent Mercenary Assembly That AC Hostile AC Priority Subject for Termination One helluva merc Hired Operative Intruding AC Grunt Famous Mercenary Fine Soldier One Loose End Corpse Quick on the uptake Not like those savages Cur Scoundrel Oathbreaker Just an AC Patchwork AC Better than the other ACs Like a bird in flight Killer Menace to Rubicon Target for Termination Unknown Intruder Intrusion Attempt Menace Volunteer The Objective Just a Gen 4 Strong Worthy of your name False Alarm Impostor Impressive Pilot Wormkiller Threat to Planetary Closure 20 Iguazus A Real Redgun Not so Special Too Dangerous to Keep Around Not Afraid to Die The Only G13 Who's Managed To Live This Long Strong A Threat Dangerous Another Threat to Rubicon Veteran The Mercenary Who Took Your Name Rat Fool The Big One Corporate pawn Rather Extraordinary Gen 4 Augmentation High Level Threat Strong Candidate One of Allmind's The One Rusty was talking about Head in the Clouds Old-Gen Alive Handler's Hound Old Colleague Subject Beast of burden Guest of Honor The Key Smartass Freelancer Wonderful People Demon Miserable Relic Trigger for the Change to come Dog without a shred of intelligence Not worthy of humanity Stray Dog Obstacle Faithful Hound Biggest Threat Legacy Augmentation The Greatest Obstacle The Liberator of Rubicon The only one The Spark of War The Fires that Haunt Rubicon The Monster who Burned the Stars One With Allmind Aberrations to The Plan Trigger for Coral Release Irregular The Old-Gen Who Could Do It All

The Freelancer Who Had It All

#ac6 #ac6 spoilers #c4 621 #augmented human c4 621 #armored core 6 #armored core #why did i do this #armored core vi #acvi #armored core fires of rubicon #raven #registration number rb23 #g13 #g13 raven

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ghost-bxrd · 2 months

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Keep going I want everything *holds up a note pad* give me angst

*slides glasses up higher*

Okay, you asked for it! Get ready for some really cracky ship content on the side of more Court Family au!

Bruce grows up learning high society and Court etiquette mostly from Alfred and some trustworthy Court members and quickly decides that some things need to change. (He may be morally flexible here but he still wants to change things for the better). He still puts up the Brucie mask in front of High Society, but now he does it with the goal to gather blackmail material from as many people as possible and indebt them to him for potential use down the line.

Bruce becomes Voice of the Court when he turns eighteen and immediately starts uprooting several of the more corrupt members of the Court, instating new people into the ranks that will benefit the city as a whole. He makes some enemies this way, naturally. And soon after the Cout’s Talon is tasked with Bruce’s safety at all times.

Bruce and Cobb do NOT get along. At all. Mostly because Bruce is determined to make Talon’s life even harder by trying to slip away from his sight every other second. It’s infuriating. Cobb considers literally sitting on the guy after only one week. (“Try bailing on me now, o’ honorable Voice”)

Bruce spends several months strategically implementing new laws and projects that will benefit the Court AND Gotham in the long run, making it a point to go to the most important meetings in person, even if they happen to be between criminals. (Cobb was so, SO tempted to let Black Mask shoot the idiot that day.)

Within two years human trafficking is close to nonexistent in Gotham City, lethal crime is down a good ten percent (which isn’t much in the grand scheme of things but for Gotham it’s almost biblical) and whispers of “Batman” are omnipresent. (Cobb considers asking if slapping his Voice would be considered treason but… it probably would. Even though Bruce really deserves it with such a stupid cover name. Owls HUNT bats… couldn’t he have chosen Owlman?)

(“What’s your name, anyway?” Bruce asks one day, flipping his tie into a neat Windsor knot that’s just passable enough to not be considered sloppy. “I am the Talon of the Court, my Voice.” Bruce hums, one elegant eyebrow raising in the stark reflection of the mirror, “No, your real name.” “It’s whatever you wish it to be, my Voice.” “You know what I mean, Talon. If you do not wish to answer, then I will not make you. But do not play me for a fool.” “… Cobb. William Cobb.” Bruce blinks, the left corner of his mouth tugging upwards, “Will… I see.”)

The first time a traitor nearly succeeds in killing Bruce is when he once again slips away from the Talon’s sight, and while Bruce is still well trained he’s no match against five people with guns, sedatives, and a mission. Cobb finds them right as they’re about to shoot Bruce in the head and goes absolutely feral. (He hates Bruce, he hates Bruce, he hates Bruce, he hates-)

Bruce wakes up back at the manor with a pissed off Talon standing in the corner of the room, keeping watch and refusing to talk to him anymore beyond what he’s ordered to. Sneaking away from the Talon after this becomes virtually impossible for Bruce.

Cobb keeps giving Bruce the cold shoulder for months to the point where Bruce becomes genuinely concerned, but the Court scientists assure him that their Talon is running at a 100% capacity. (That’s not what I’m asking, Bruce wants to scream. I want to know if he’s okay.)

(Cobb wasn’t worried, he wasn’t. He watched countless humans die in so much worse ways already. Inflicted worse himself. It’s just because he almost failed his mission and allowed the Voice to be killed that he’s so unnerved now. That must be it. That’s all it is. That’s all.)

Dick’s parents fall and Bruce is up and out of his seat the next second, pushing through the masses until he can clutch at the child and cover his eyes, shielding him from the view of his parents’ dead bodies. Social Services never get to put their hands on Dick Grayson.

The Court is ecstatic. Cobb is ecstatic. From tragedy, opportunity blooms like a rose with poisonous thorns, and the Talon stands ready to take on his apprentice as the Court broaches the subject with Bruce.

But Bruce (idiotic, stupid, bleeding-heart Bruce) refuses point blank. (“He’s a child,” Bruce says. Like that means anything. They were all children, once. He’ll grow out of it quickly enough. And the boy will make an excellent Talon, perhaps even surpass Cobb himself, with time and training. Maybe more capable at keeping the Voice safe than him, too. But then Bruce says, “He’s my child. My ward. And any of you who think to go against me will answer to the Talon and myself.” And, oh, damn you, Bruce. Damn you. But what else is Cobb to do but lift his head and stare down the Voice’s subject in silent challenge, daring them to object? Bruce is his Voice. Talon will never not side with the Court’s voice. (He pointedly does not think of the time he slit another Voice’s throat. He does not.))

Dick is anger and fury and sunshine and it drives Cobb crazy. The raw potential that is lost with Bruce’s refusal to allow him to train the boy… he cannot stand it. There will be another Talon before long (Cobb is not bitter about it, he is not) and with Dick the protection of the Voice would have at least stayed within the line of Cobb’s blood, but now… now Cobb can’t be sure the new Talon will take their task as seriously as the boy would have.

Dick is the one to approach Cobb for training before he ever goes to Bruce

Bruce nearly has a heart attack the first time he finds Dick training with the Talon, ripping the boy away and screaming at Cobb for nearly an hour about “orders” and “NOT a Talon” and many other things Dick doesn’t really get

Bruce asks Talon to bring him Zucco’s head and Cobb will forever deny the vindictive pleasure he felt when watching the smarmy man squirm and beg for his life (he didn’t get fond of Dick. Cobb doesn’t do fond. He hates him almost as much as he hates Bruce, thank you and good day.)

… okay I just realized none of this really qualifies as angst but— somehow this post got away from me. I’m sorry 😭😭😭 feel free to ask for more specific angst content tho? 🙏

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clawbehavior · 2 months

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we're five episodes into Shogun, which means we're halfway through the series and all the major plotlines have been introduced and the characters characterized. and i'm starting to notice things.

namely, toranaga is becoming increasingly unlikeable. it started when he abandoned blackthorne to die after being saved by the man hours earlier, but it reached its peak with the return of the young heir's mother and the reveal that she's using the council against toranaga to protect her son. because then what is toranaga going to war for? we were told via the dead king's widow that toranaga needs to protect the young heir against the council, but clearly that's not true. so what's he doing? it bothered me that toranaga could be so kind to the young heir, playing with him and advising him, while neglecting his own son, whose insecurity around his father was so transparent that he was easily manipulated into starting a war. but then i wondered if toranaga was showing his true self (his third heart) to his son. that scene where he says "you categorize everyone as enemies and friends when you only have yourself" implies that he sees everyone as a potential enemy, which can only happen if his self-interests are at odds with everyone else's. seeing the end of episode five, i think toranaga is not what he seems. we know he can be duplicitous. he plays uncle and nephew against each other so easily, getting rid of the problem of their growing power by doing so. i think the falcon motif that's ever present in the show represents toranaga, flying against the sun so his prey can't see him until it's too late (episode one). he's fooling everyone, including his allies, which brings me to my next point.

mariko's story is not going to end well. i didn't know why this was a limited series with no chance of a season two until we got her backstory. mariko is straight up suicidal, just looking for a purposeful/honorable way to do it. if blackthorne can see this within days of meeting her, across a huge cultural divide and despite language differences, then toranaga has clocked this about her too, which doesn't bode well for her life. the mariko-blackthorne-husband love triangle subplot serves a deeper function of revealing her psyche to us. she can't let go of her feelings of injustice and dishonor from her family's deaths. (the flashback we get of her past shows her father's haunted expression because that's how she remembers the event, with horror rather than disgust for his actions.) this is why she tells blackthorne the truth about her family when ordered to by her husband, even though blackthorne tells her to lie and tell him something else because her husband won't know. mariko can't let go of what happened to her family (and her husband doesn't let her). she's been spiritually dead for ages and the return of her husband from the dead not only means she cheated, which someone with her honor code can't live with, it means she cannot be happy with blackthorne. her tragic past coupled with her strong feelings towards honor/dishonor makes her easy for toranaga to use, though it's unclear for what.

interestingly, mariko and blackthornes' opposing ideologies are why they survived and found each other. mariko resists quietly, inside her soul (the eightfold fence), turning to her Christian faith and becoming devout and learned in Portuguese to speak with the priests. this is how she ends up as blackthorne's translator, a position of power and later romance. blackthorne, in contrast, resists outwardly and every step of the way. that scene where toranaga tells him to give up because he's outnumbered and blackthorne replies "unless i win" captures his character perfectly. he's going to fight until the last second, which is why he survives the journey to Japan, and why he gets separated from his men and integrated into a foreign culture, and why he steers the ship to safety rather than being left behind to die. that stubbornness to live shows up as a tendency for breaking all the rules, the result of which is meeting mariko and unintentionally getting her to fall in love with him. it's so fascinating how their ideologies have set them apart from their own people and brought them together while indicating their incompatibility.

the show does a good job of layering characters and keeping them consistent, so i have faith that they'll return to yabushige's scary character. him torturing a sailor to death in pursuit of an existential question in a way so barbaric that it scares even the villagers did an excellent job in setting the tone of the show in episode one and setting the show apart from other historic period dramas. so it's disappointing to see him turn into a conniving goofball. hopefully this is a short term thing.

i haven't been so intrigued by the political machinations within a show in a long while, probably since GoT. can't wait to see how the rest of it plays out

gif below courtesy of @yocalio. look at toranaga's face shadowed in the sunlight. we don't fully know him.

#shōgun #fx shogun #shogun spoilers #shogun #toda mariko #john blackthorne #yoshii toranaga #analysis

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kuonjiarincrow · 27 days

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Obey Me! Song Units I know will probably never come out but by darn I'll still die on this hill waiting for them:

(But considering All The Feels came out on a new YouTube channel named Triworlds instead of the Obey Me Official maybe it's not so far off? 👀)

The Fantastic Three:

Lucifer, Diavolo, and Barbatos

(Nothing more needs to be said here.)

Purgatory Hall:

Simeon, Solomon, and Luke

(I really hope this one comes out. They're adorable. I love them sm I need more Simeon)

Cat:

Satan and Solomon

(Levi would also work here since the three of them get along well surprisingly. Belphie's voice would probably match really well with them too. Book worms unite!)

The Angels:

Simeon and Luke

(Simeon is best dad. No doubt on that. But I've also got this itch due to Hazbin Hotel since Sera and Emily remind me so much of them. The whole "I thought since I'm older, it's my load to shoulder. You have to listen, it was such a hard decision. I wanted to save you the anguish it takes to do what was required." It would be nice to get a bit of foreshadowing under all the cute light they bring)

The Royals:

Diavolo and Barbatos

(I know I'm not ready for this one but I want it sm. Their vocals are deep so I feel this one would have more of a dark and brass-y type kinda like Trigger or Choose Me with maybe more guitar. Alternative: It's a one for one exactly like To Be A Princess from Barbie pun intended)

Sweets Masters / Gourmet Club:

Barbatos, Simeon, Beelzebub, and/or Luke

(This one could be them literally just naming different foods and I wouldn't even be mad tbh)

Invocatio:

Solomon, Barbatos, and Asmodeus

(Solomon and his Demons. I can already hear the back handed comments and snarky retaliations. Good shit.)

Speaking of back handed comments

Tea Demons / Brothers No More

Barbatos, Lucifer, and/or Simeon (ft. Satan and Mammon)

(These two are put together for they serve the same purpose. To get on Lucifer's nerves. JK but one can't deny that Barbatos and Simeon get a kick from Lucifer's reactions. Much like a certain cat lover and gambling addict. Belphegor and Solomon could also go here...at this point everyone is trying to turn Lucifer's hair white from stress. I just think it'd make for a fun song.)

Diabolus (?):

Diavolo and Solomon/Simeon

(This one is a bit tricky to put into words. It'd be nice if we could maybe get like a sort of The Other Side from The Greatest Showman mix with They're Only Human from the Death Note Musical of Diavolo and either Simeon or Solomon (or both) discussing their views on the three worlds and the best way to bring peace between them. If it's even possible. Again, it's a weird concept I find intriguing that could be a pretty good bop but most certainly won't happen.)

Venting Time:

Solomon, Simeon, and Barbatos

(Literally just more of them tbh)

Royals and Brothers:

Diavolo and Lucifer, and Barbatos and Mammon

(It'd be nice to get a song with Diavolo and Lucifer since they're such good friends. The April Fool's video also left me wanting more Barbatos vs Mammon tbh)

Honorable Mentions:

These are mostly songs that I wish existed too but the ones above mostly focused on the Dateables rather than the brothers. But since one just can't get enough of them,

1. Big Brothers (Lucifer, Mammon, and Leviathan. Honestly, Levi needs more songs. Rock On!! Is one of the best unit songs, can't argue with that. But they're still the big three and Levi gets left out a lot :()

2. No Big Brothers Allowed (Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, and Belphegor. I love Satan and Asmodeus' relationship, I'm surprised there isn't more of them considering they're such good singers. And speaking of good singers, more twins pls)

3. Brothers Under a Pact (Mammon, Leviathan, and Beelzebub. I personally feel robbed that we don't have a song for them.)

4. Team Party (Mammon and Asmodeus. They're so full of energy they'd sing the best bop to play at the club.)

5. Where's My Money (Mammon and Leviathan. These tsunderes are so much more a like than they care to admit. There's potential for musical parallels)

8. I'm so thankful for all the hard work Solmare and the Boys do for us. They've definitely gotten better and more confident in their skills and it really shows. Spooky Night Parade, Magic Moment, Anniversary, and now All The Feels were all amazingly beautiful. Truly, I have no words for how much I love all these songs. They mean so much and I'm thankful for anything they bless us with. I can only hope they continue making incredible music.

6. 345 (Leviathan, Satan, and Asmodeus. Again, all three are great singers, it'd be cool to have a unit song for them.)

7. My Favorite (Lucifer and Belphegor. Big Bro vs Little Bro. The tension would be high here but their underlying love for each other is what does it for me.)

This post is really just wishful thinking on my part, the songs we have are so good I can't help but want more. Each instrument and lyrics have been given so much thought and I think they did such an amazing job at really capturing each character with their respective songs. Maybe I'll make a post dissecting each song. Or maybe I'm reading too much into them.

Regardless, thank you for the music❤️

If you managed to read to the bottom, thank you for reading my word vomit! It's 3 am and I need to stop procrastinating on sleep. Have a lovely day!

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aphidclan-clangen · 30 days

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you don't have to post this, but I thought it would be funny!!!

Nimblekit: I just scream a lot... I just, scream... a lot

Goldshine: With all due respect, which is none,

Sparkspeckle: You know how someone can say “I respectfully disagree”? What about “I disrespectfully agree” for when you hate someone but they are unfortunately correct.

Shadebreak: I am always up for potential rule breaking.

Goldshine: Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself, I do it regularly.

Nimblekit: 80% of people are actually ugly because of their face, you know.

Pearlstar: Trans people? In my clan? It’s more likely than you think.

Blisswhistle: For the last time, you can’t die of adhd.

Sparkspeckle: You can do whatever you want forever :D

Stormwhisper: I love you, but that is not helpful.

Stormwhisper, too nervous to ask for emotional support: Man, it smells like wrongdog in here.

Gravel: Aren’t you like 5’2?

Firebeetle: I self identify as tall.

Pearlstar: Every day my joints are shocked and disgusted that I would use them for their intended purpose.

Sparkspeckle: You can never lose an argument if you say “shut up nerd” at the end.

Icesheep: Yes you can.

Sparkspeckle: Shut up nerd.

Goldshine: In my defense, your honor, I simply do not care enough.

Nimblekit: Your honor, in my defense, who cares like omfgggggggg who cares????????? Like come onnn.

Skykit: Are you a girl or a boy?

Shadebreak: Uhh, well some people aren’t girls or boys!

Skykit: Wow, just like snails...

Shadebreak: ???

Straight Man: Hey

Titania: That’s enough.

Lilacpaw: I respect perfume commercials being like, we can’t show you a smell, mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds?

Shadekit: Hey we are all really small, do you wanna sleep in a pile.

Icekit, Stormkit and Sparkkit: Yes.

Blisswhistle: “Fuck it, we ball” (Malnourished, heavy eye bags, dehydrated, on the verge of insanity.)

Goldshine: Evil infodumping where you just tell lies.

Sparkspeckle: Tiktok

Icesheep: 5-minute crafts

Shadebreak: Resume

Stormwhisper: Men

Nimblekit: I fucking hate the hand that feeds me, I think i’ll do something fucked up to it.

Nimblekit: Sick injury bro, would be a shame if i added insult to it.

Pearlstar: I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there fr.

Gravel: I wish they sold offbrand cars, get me a damn honder.

Firebeetle: Pulling up in the revolver.

Shadebreak: When two buses pass each other and the bus drivers don’t wave at each other, like omg... did you guys break up...

Blisswhistle: I can still crack a joke mid-breakdown, that’s why everyone is lucky to have me in their lives.

Gravel: They don’t kill the presidents like they used to.

Berrykit: The LMAO+ community.

Nimblekit: It’s LMFAO+ this is party rock erasure.

Sparkspeckle: It’s harder than you think to communicate with someone who isn’t familiar with the world of spongebob.

Goldshine: Pipe down your honor, you weren’t even there.

Goldshine: JFK?? Like from umbrella academy?? Haha... you know he’s not... real, right?

Stormwhisper: Wait, I though JFK was from clone high??

Sparkspeckle: JFK, as in Jesus Fucking Khrist, from the bible?

Icesheep: Isn’t JFK that fried chicken fast food chain.

Shadebreak: Guys cmon, it’s Jennedy Fennedy Kennedy, you gotta know this.

Goldshine: Mfs be named “James” and it only be one dude.

Nimblekit: Does violence have to be the last resort, can’t it be like third.

Lilacpaw: Free my man, he did all of it but I don’t care.

Pearlstar: Let me get this straight. Grabs the nearest heterosexual. Now, where were we. (He is holding nobody)

Blisswhistle: I’m so done with self care, it’s time for others harm.

Shadebreak: Fun fact. Shut the fuck-

Sparkspeckle: Nuh uh

Icesheep: FYM “NUH UH”???

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-⚡ anon

Genuinely made me laugh, I love these

#blisswhistle telling ‘for the last time you can’t die of adhd’ to Cresskit and Skykit #and Stormwhisper says in the background ‘wait you can’t?’#this is all very accurate lol #aphidasks

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therobotmonster · 2 months

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In honor of he who died and rose after three days in the grave and now grants life ever lasting to his followers I thought it only right I got into the spirit once. So Dracula, this one's for you:

Just look at it.

You have what appears to be (and is) an accountant being menaced by boobalicious vampire women twice his size, so he's got Ethan Winters beaten to the punch by 34 years. But don't be fooled. One glance into his 30-yard stare and its obvious why only Mr. Weems can stop these sinister She-Vampires:

Weems is dead on the inside yet still living, where the she-vampires are animated from within with life, while dead.

He is their antithesis.

So yeah, a pile of jank with a fun name crossed my path, and now you all have to hear about it. If you're not hitting 'J', you have no one to blame but yourself.

Released on a scad of systems, but mostly the ZX Spectrum and the C64, The Astonishing Adventures of Mr. Weems & the She-Vampires is a sort of 'Gauntroidvania'. It's also trying to push the limits of how titillating a pre-NES era game could be, though the C64 port's interface missed that memo.

The hacked c64 version was the one I played, but giantbomb had a lot of gifs from the ZX verison that I've upscaled for demonstration purposes.

The only bit of story is from the back package. Weems wants to feel something, so he's decided to take on the Great She-Vampire or die in her buxom grasp. Fair.

This game is not recommended for people with epilepsy, dignity, or in general.

Mr. Weems has a garlic gun to defend his ever-dropping blood supply (vampire hunter is an odd professon with anemia) and destroy the baddies...

All three of them, which are all introduced on the first screen!

You've got bats, they pop out of pots and attack you.

The manual says these guys are Frankenstein's' monsters, but they're clearly the giant from Twin Peaks trying to warn you that you've bought a dud.

On the C64, the lesser she-vampires are clearly based on Dracula's brides, whereas on the ZX, they're more like ghosts with big naturals.

Which means that to get both kinds of vampire babe from the secondary cover, you'd have to buy a cassette for your c64, and and for your ZX. And I don't mean a cartridge, I mean a, Cassette tape.

If you manage to stalk your way all the way to the end and find the gear you need to destroy her, the Great She-Vampire awaits:

There's no boss fight, but there is a 1 pixel nip, at least on the ZX spectrum.

From there you book it back the way you came, only every screen now has a she-vampire chasing you in a murderous rage. Make it out, and you win. Or maybe you didn't, because just like the Dungeon of Fear and Hunger, you can never really escape Mr. Weems & the She-Vampires.

Only Weems increases the immersion by truamatizing you, the player. Mr. Weems is fine. You don't have to worry about the Weems.

So...

Is it a good game?

Not remotely, but that isn't the point in the slightest.

It's temping to say this is the Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies of video games, but that's not quite right. Weems has promise and ISCWSLaBMUZ doesn't make promises. It issues threats.

Mr. Weems has the charm of a concept that's all potential and zero execution. A dead-eyed accountant gunning his way in a Gauntlet-esq blitz through a vampire-babe infested castle is a fun idea, more-so with all the secret passages and 'gather items and backtrack to the boss' aspect. It's just everything else that goes wrong.

I mean, who doesn't want to hunt the Great She-Vampire to her penthouse for a good staking, I ask you?

#the astonishing adventures of mr. weems #retrogaming #zx spectrum #commodore 64 #Mr. Weems #she-vampires #vampires #bad games #80s #twin peaks #dracula #transylvania 6-5000 #geena davis #weird obsessions #jank #so bad its good #I swear I'm not fucking with you #this time

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vacantgodling · 11 months

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worthless war

You never learn his name.

Your thoughts have already devolved into the most basic of actions to sustain you along. Eat. Sleep. Forward. Retreat. Swing. Parry. Kill.

There is a reason generals do not wear helmets. Their matted, blood soaked hair used to be windswept and glorious. They bark orders and their pawns follow; the matted grass of stinking, rotting corpses, the board of a most convoluted game of chess. In the beginning, how foolish your company thought, should you make it behind enemy lines that you would become kings. It didn’t take long to realize it didn’t work that way. That eyes cast up to the heavens stayed that way, glassy and unseeing in their swift death.

Your eyes weren’t adept at seeing anymore. Your helmet made the world dark and despairing, a fitful mirror to the fruitlessness of this Worthless War. It was a war of pride, not a war of glory. By the time you entered the fray, any semblance of morality had long fled; back to the homeland where praises were sung of a warrior’s valor and the duty of the sword. There was no honor in this place.

Except.

You met him when a stab to the side, under the chink of your chain mail made you kneel. In the centre of the battlefield, you knelt there, statuesque and unseeing. Was it your time to die? Maybe. You were so tired. This war has taken everything from you. You could still see the face of your dear sweet Lucasta*, rosy faced and bright, cheerful and kind. You had not kissed for she was chaste, but you held her hands tender as a newborn babe and bid her farewell.

I will return a hero! You said—what a fool you had been! Young and suckling like a calf to a teat; you knew not what awaited you, young lamb to the slaughter. You knew not of how this war would betray you.

But you felt an arm raise you up.

No words were spoken, only the gleam of his sword in his hand in the sunlight. His helmet was impasse, but his arm that held you felt like warmth, felt like summer, felt like the joy of a child. You leant heavily into him, and he supported you, and took you far away from the battlefield.

It was the first thought you’d had since your mind fell away some time ago. Where are we going? You could ask. Are we advancing? Retreating? How else would you know your place in line? Are you God? If perhaps, you were religious. You weren’t. But maybe you were—if only for the way he sat you squarely down on a rock in some remote and desolate field in some forgotten daydream. Even if the war raged, the clashes of swords and armor not too far off on the horizon, it was a muted murmur this far away. The war but a distant night terror. Your body felt lighter than air, your head clear yet clouded, perhaps it was the dizziness from blood loss.

He didn’t speak, but his hands were verbose. He left your helmet fast to your skull, but pulled you out of your armor, piece by piece. What an intimate ritual—you oft used to think of undressing Lucasta when the two of you were finally wed should you make it back from this war. From her corset and over skirts, to her chemise, her stockings; to unearth what bounty lay beneath cotton coverings, just the same as he unlatched your breastplate. Cool hands spread across your collar and chest, then came to the side just underneath your arm where blood, thick and viscous, stuck like molasses to your skin.

Where he retrieved water when rations were low, you didn’t know. For so long you have just been some spectral floating thing; only manifesting as a sword for your general to wield. But now you felt horribly human; your mouth dry with thirst and caked with dirt and grime and the sins of taking life after life. Heaven knew no prayers would wash you clean, but he did. He washed your wound and dressed it as best he could. He ripped pieces and pieces of his own spare shirt and wrapped them round and round your body, pressing until the blood stopped. Until the blood rushed from your head south at the novelty of another’s touch, never mind the touch was a man. This was the touch of your savior; your holiness, your shining grace given from Lucasta’s Lord above.

“W…” You managed to croak, and he stopped his ministrations. If you had hydration enough for tears, perhaps you would’ve shed them. Don’t stop. You wanted to say. Those glorious touches that reminded you that you were alive and a soul and part of this world. “Why…” Your voice was no louder than a field mouse.

Behind his helmet, he didn’t say a thing. Not a grunt, not a hum, not a word. He only kept dressing your wound. Round and round he twirled those makeshift bandages, and you imagined Lucasta on your long awaited wedding day, twirling in your arms as the blushing bride she ought to be. But here, and bare, and carnal, you felt you ought to be the bride. Why shouldn’t you receive such tenderness of a strong hand to your lips or touch to your brow? Why shouldn’t you linger in this comforting daydream where you were just a man, and the knight dressing you was another, and in the hay of this little barn of innocence you sullied it with passions that Lucasta’s God would blush at?

You gripped his hands, hissing as he bade you stand. It was always easier to suit standing. When he returned the chinks of your breastplate and tightened it fast, it was every deceleration of love you could ever hear. It was a proposal, a wedding, devotion divine. You took his hand. He gave you your sword. He led you back to the battlefield. Your thoughts returned lifeless, but when he took his place next to you in formation, your mind bloomed with flowers; roses and daffodils and forget-me-nots; an endless springtime where he knew your scars and perhaps, you knew his.

And as all evils do, the Worthless War drew to a close.

There was no grand finale. No heroes of lore or legend were born out of this war. You stood at the foothills of your hometown, with nothing but a small ration, and a few bits of coins for the trouble of it all.

You returned to Lucasta. She knew the light in your eyes dimmed. She spoke to you of the wedding, of babies, of summertime—but your life was paused; ever stuck and transfixed at that moment he took you aside to patch your wound. Suspended in that one shred of humanity that you felt in that moment, and the lingering warmth that you felt after, for the days and weeks until the war came to an end. He never spoke, but he was always by your side, and you fastly to his.

Your head was bare, but your soul never took off its helmet. At night, you lay awake with Lucasta’s head pressed delicately to your chest, dreaming of the metallic hiss of his breath in and out as he undressed your soul.

some footnotes:

* = the name Lucasta i lifted from the 17th century poet Richard Lovelace as the meaning is “pure light”. in this piece Lucasta serves two roles: as the bride to be the protagonist has waiting back home, but also represents his innocence that the war has taken from him. how even though he’s returned home and has his former life waiting for him how he can never truly regain that innocence.

#ren writing #still thinking about knights and so this came out #i’m kinda obsessed with it #short stories tag #<- ig #s: worthless war

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lesliesmemes · 7 months

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the ballad of songbirds & snakes (novel) sentence starters.

feel free to adjust as needed. please read with caution.

‘ it’s practically a holiday! ’

‘ stop worrying. ’

‘ puncture wounds never bleed long. ’

‘ i was trying for respectful yet celebratory. ’

‘ always an honor to be of service. ’

‘ it’s a new law. ’

‘ you all right? you just went white as a sheet. ’

‘ i saw a snake! ’

‘ did she kill her? ’

‘ don’t cry. ’

‘ nothing you can take from me was ever worth keeping. ’

‘ you can kiss my ass & then keep on walking. ’

‘ my friends call me [name]; i hope you will too! ’

‘ no one would know better than i. ’

‘ if it was me, anything you could do to make me feel like you cared about me would go a long way. ’

‘ tastes like bedtime. ’

‘ you look like you shouldn’t be here. ’

‘ ah, a rebel. ’

‘ i do my best to take care of you. ’

‘ they never found out who did it. ’

‘ i might need him. ’

‘ own it. ’

‘ would you care to meet a few of my neighbors? ’

‘ i brought along a friend of mine today. ’

‘ that snake was a particular friend of mine. ’

‘ polka dots always make me feel happy. ’

‘ after i heard you sing, i couldn’t keep away. ’

‘ you’re not allowed in there. ’

‘ i’ve got a good feeling about this one. ’

‘ i have a great many things to learn. ’

‘ none of them trust me. ’

‘ are those sandwiches for anybody? ’

‘ now it’s like a picnic. ’

‘ i was thinking it might be a good idea for you to sing again. ’

‘ i do so love to sing. ’

‘ birds in the heavens know i love you. ’

‘ thanks for stepping up. ’

‘ that seems like an odd pastime. ’

‘ i’m so blameless i’m choking on it. ’

‘ she’s a wily little thing who began to manipulate you the minute you met. ’

‘ [name], you need to get more sleep. ’

‘ human beings may not be perfect, but we’re better than that. ’

‘ most of us don’t want to watch other people suffer. ’

‘ i make my living entertaining people. ’

‘ i’ll sing you a few bars backstage. ’

‘ did you write that song yourself? ’

‘ none of them can hold a candle to you. ’

‘ she’s playing with fire there. ’

‘ i couldn’t save her. i couldn’t stop the blood. ’

‘ working kept me from freaking out. ’

‘ will she die? ’

‘ you must hate me. you should. i would hate me. ’

‘ don’t leave me to go through this alone! ’

‘ my condolences on the loss of your friend. ’

‘ it’s a difficult day for all of us. ’

‘ i can’t eat today. ’

‘ you’re quite the rebel. ’

‘ enjoy the show! ’

‘ i like your voice. ’

‘ she saved my life, i think. ’

‘ it’s just the kind of story that catches fire. ’

‘ it’s not safe. ’

‘ we’re not safe! ’

‘ you could start by thinking i can actually win. ’

‘ we think of a strategy. ’

‘ you find me a guitar? ’

‘ there’s an empty seat by me. ’

‘ i thought the war was over. ’

‘ it’s not immoral to defend ourselves. ’

‘ i trust your girl. ’

‘ when i was a girl, i fell into your arms. ’

‘ you stole & you gambled & i said you should. ’

‘ just let me remind you who i am to you. ’

‘ for when the bell rings, lover, you’re on your own. ’

‘ now what will you do when i go to my grave? ’

‘ new song? ’

‘ she is a performer, after all. ’

‘ people love a good love song. ’

‘ people are fools. ’

‘ there are a lot of romantics. ’

‘ i loved how it proved me right. ’

‘ i come bearing gifts. ’

‘ i feel more hopeful in the daytime, but when it gets dark, i get so afraid. ’

‘ take me with you. ’

‘ the only boy my heart has a sweet spot for now is you. ’

‘ it will be over quickly. ’

‘ we’re all a mess. ’

‘ you’re monsters! all of you! ’

‘ things will pick up. they have to. ’

‘ i almost feel sorry for him. ’

‘ doesn’t look so tough to me. ’

‘ is the whole city up? ’

‘ i need to stop causing you trouble. ’

‘ what makes you think i could do that? ’

‘ thanks for having our backs! ’

‘ i can walk, no thanks to you! ’

‘ i think i underestimated how much they hate us. ’

‘ i wanted them dead. i wanted every one of them dead. ’

‘ chaos happens. what else is there to say? ’

‘ oh, don’t let him die alone. ’

‘ he declined to comment. ’

‘ you’re heartless. ’

‘ the only thing you are is brave. ’

‘ she’s smarter than she looks. ’

‘ why haven’t you made this public? ’

‘ this is a surprisingly warm welcome for the person who almost destroyed you! ’

‘ some girl will be singing. ’

‘ i should’ve warned you about the birds. ’

‘ kill two birds with one stone. ’

‘ sometimes hungry people need music the most. ’

‘ do you like sweets? ’

‘ you made your choice. ’

‘ just spending some time with my girl. ’

‘ you’re mine & i’m yours. it’s written in the stars. ’

‘ he’s a liar & a louse. ’

‘ this is the price they pay. ’

‘ we’ll just perch here until they shoo us off. ’

‘ i hate to think of them caged up, when they’ve had a taste of freedom. ’

‘ sounds like torture, having someone controlling your voice like that. ’

‘ do you always feel free to speak your mind, [name]? ’

‘ i think you should say what you think. ’

‘ it’s a mystery, sweetheart. just like me. ’

‘ that’s why it’s my song. ’

‘ snakes like it there. ’

‘ maybe my freedom is worth the risk. ’

‘ trust is important. ’

‘ i think trust is more important than love. ’

‘ i love all kinds of things i don’t trust. ’

‘ i trust you, though. ’

‘ [name] feeds on sweet. ’

‘ you been with her, that’s what i’ve heard. ’

‘ i’ll sell you for a song. ’

‘ thought we agreed this was between us. ’

‘ she’s my girl. ’

‘ we’ve got no quarrel with you. ’

‘ always keep that last bullet somewhere safe. ’

‘ you were never here. ’

‘ you’re pure as the driven snow. ’

‘ i told you to run so we'd both be free. ’

‘ no stranger would it be if we met up at midnight in the hanging tree. ’

‘ i’ll miss the music & my pretty birds. ’

‘ i think there’s a natural goodness born into us all. you can either cross that line into evil or not. but it’s our life's work to stay on the right side of that line. ’

‘ you said you killed three people this summer. ’

‘ i killed the old me to come with you. ’

‘ i’m not made of sugar. ’

‘ it’s not too late to work something out. ’

‘ our essential nature is violent. ’

‘ your little songbird. was she sad to see you go? ’

#rp meme #roleplay meme #rp memes #roleplay memes #rp starters #roleplay starters #sentence starters #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #literature rp meme

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local-void-creature-izzy · 3 months

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The Crazed Captain and his Insane Deity

This is a Sonadow Pirate AU that came to be after watching Sonic Prime, so I will be using the characters of No Place to help flesh it out.

Dread and his crew are looking for a challenge, one of his crewmates sees a wanted poster in the town they are currently staying in and asks Dread about it, if this is a good challenge. Dread grabbing the poster, thinking there's no harm in seeing what they found, only for Dread to rip the wanted poster and tells his crew that: "That...beast is not one to mess with."

The wanted Poster read as such:

WANTED: DEAD

"The Immortal Nightmare" aka Captain Shadow the Merciless

That he'll take on any challenge, expect that pirate captain and his crew.

Elsewhere:

Said Pirate Captain is counting the jewels and money from the rich townspeople his crew pillaged and stole from. Removing a emerald necklace from the pile and gifting it to his first mate, Sonic. "For you, Mi Amor." The captain spoke as he placed the necklace around Sonic's neck.

"Aww, how sweet of you. My favorite color no less." Sonic complimented, as he returned to helping the other organization his documents.

In Shadow's crew there were two rules:

1. Swear your unyielding loyalty to the Captain, or die a painful death.

2. Respect his first mate as if he was also the captain.

Follow those, and you were taken well care of in the crew.

Then one day, a power hungry Dread, takes on Shadow and his crew in a storm. Only getting a cheap victory because he tossed Sonic overboard, Shadow jumping after him.Dread takes the ship and crew for his own, a powerful amulet keeping the crew from fighting back.

Winding up on a stray life boat, Sonic is patching up his captain, said captain is plotting a revenge. "How dare that insolent fool steal my crew and my ship?!" Shadow angrily spoke. "When I find him, I will ring his neck from his body!"

"Calm yourself Shads. Anger won't get us anywhere, but that amulet..." Sonic speculated. "I believe the time has finally come."

The immortal captain looked up at his lover and first mate. "Is it one of the seven? To restore your powers?" He asked.

"I believe so, finally. I can begin my journey to reclaim what humanity stole from me." Sonic said with a twisted smile that did not phase Shadow.

You see, Sonic was actually an ancient deity by the name of O'brezean. He controlled all of the seven seas, the wind the blew through them, and could make sailors go insane just by looking at him. But somehow, someone bound the deity to this limited, physical form. If not for Shadow finding him when he did, who knows what would have happened to him.

Despite his powers being severely restricted, he still could make one feel insanity if he tried, which did not work on Shadow. For when you're cursed with immortality, and live for over 1000 years, your mind becomes the least stable thing about you. He quickly became Sonic's favorite mortal, especially since Shadow praised O'brezean instead of feared him.

"Then let's be on our way, this serves as even more motivation to kill that damn coward." Shadow said with a crazed look in his eyes. "Oh to have the honor of restoring you to your true self, if I hadn't already promised you my existence I would have done so now."

"My darling captain, so quick to violence for me. That's why I love you. You're the only mortal that can make me this ecstatic."

Truly, the two were a match made in heaven, or rather hell.

Thanks to Sonic's navigation skills, they quickly arrive at a island town, where they are confronted by Sails, who was part of Dread's crew. He begs them to stop the captain because he has gone mad with power. That he'll do whatever they ask, just to stop Dread. They agree and soon find Dread and the rest of his crew. A ego boosted Dread asking Shadow if he wants another round of losing.

Shadow laughs like a maniac. Telling Dread its clear he didn't do his research. Telling his crew taken hostage "you know what to do." His crew all cover their ears, confusing Dread and his crew, until a hypnotic "Lullaby" occurs, Dread and his crew falling to their knees like a heavy weight was keeping them down.

It was Sonic, Shadow grabbing Dread by the head harshly, asking him: "Did it never occur to you why I was so attracted to my first mate? He has the blood of the sea in his veins." There's a demented smile on Shadow's face. Sonic's singing helps their crew get out and back to the ship. Shadow telling Sonic to go back as well.

Now it was one against many. Unfortunately this where they learn why Shadow is called "The Merciless." One took out half of Dread's crew like they were nothing.

Taking the other half, the ones Shadow saw and knew meant the most to Dread hostage. He was simply returning the favor, as his sword pierced the other captain's stomach. "Relax, I didn't hit your vitals. No, I want you to experience something more painful. For foolishly believing you can mess with me and my crew, believing you could kill my beloved first mate. Only then will i have your head displayed on my ship."

#izzygilofficial #sonic the hedgehog #fandom blog #sonic fandom #sonic series #sth #sonic au #shadow the hedgehog #sth au #sonadow #captain dread #sonic prime #idw sonic #sails the fox #sails tails #sonic prime sails

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laora-ryn · 1 year

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Omg y'all, my husband's family had a tradition growing up that when any of them were sick (which was pretty often, since he's one of seven kids), they would watch the 1977 Rankin/Bass Hobbit movie. Their dad really loves Tolkien but was generally not a fan of letting the kids use The Tech (tm), so I think this is the compromise the older kids wrangled from him

I have heard about this movie from him and his siblings, but didn't really know anything about it myself since my parents weren't super into Tolkien, so I got into it with the PJ LOTR movies

ANYWAY so we've been sick all week and James found out that movie's on HBO, so he sat me down and made me watch it as a Time Honored Tradition

And I.

Bilbo has approximated Leia buns??? I spent an hour and seventeen minutes looking at him, but still have not figured out what is going on with this guy's hair

They really leaned hard into "there's thorin and uhhhhhhhhhh twelve other dwarves idk their names don't matter." The only ones I could keep straight were fili and kili, since they were blond, and balin and dwalin, because they have like, six-heads and brain wrinkles on their head lol

James always described Gollum in this movie as a booger, and now I understand why. They also made him blind, which doesn't make a ton of sense in the context of Bilbo using the ring to escape, but imo it's a neat design choice nonetheless

They really did THIS to thranduil oropherion I am still laughing my ASS off at this. He also spoke with a really shitty, half assed French accent for no discernable reason

And then there was? Smaug??? Who has laser beams for eyes?? And fur on his back?? And a tiger's face???? And pecs????????

I was too flabbergasted to remember to take more pictures but the conversation right before the battle went like this:

Thorin, Bard, and Thranduil: let's fuck these guys up!!

Gandalf: STOP you fools!!! As we speak there is a FOURTH army of goblins on its way here!!!

Thorin, Bard, and Thranduil:

Thorin: King Thranduil, my dearest friend and greatest ally, I would be honored to join forces with you to defeat this evil

Thranduil: oh mighty king thorin, it would be an honor [I wish I was making this up, if it weren't made in the 70s I would've thought it was a meme]

Also, at the end, bombur shows up in front of Bilbo only to keel over and die, before we cut to Bilbo's conversation with gandalf:

Bilbo: how many of our original thirteen remain??

Gandalf: seven :(

Bilbo: and thorin??

Gandalf: soon, it will be six :((((

No explanation for this or like, explanation of who else they arbitrarily killed off or anything

So anyway, this movie was An Experience (tm) and I wanted to share and also, y'all should watch it if you get the chance bc lol

#mine #the hobbit #lotr #i think thranduil takes the cake for me #but smaug is such a 'wtf???' that he gets an honorable mention too #sry for long post lol

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ilynpilled · 1 year

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"The world is full of horrors, Tommen. You can fight them, or laugh at them, or look without seeing . . . go away inside."

There was very little that Jaime took seriously. Tyrion knew that about his brother

Jaime never thinks, he laughs at everything and everyone and says whatever comes into his head.

“You should think less about the future and more about the pleasures at hand.” “Stop that!” the woman said. Bran heard the sudden slap of flesh on flesh, then the man's laughter.

Tyrion Lannister was as good as his word. He left the rest unsaid; that King Robert would ignore him, Lord Tywin would ask if he had taken leave of his senses, and Jaime would only laugh.

I stopped in front of the throne, looking up at him. His golden sword was across his legs, its edge red with a king's blood. My men were filling the room behind me. Lannister's men drew back. I never said a word. I looked at him seated there on the throne, and I waited. At last Jaime laughed and got up.

“…and death is all around you but their swords move so slowly, you can dance through them laughing.”

Laughing, he dropped to his knees, plunged his head under the water, and came up drenched and dripping.

"Oh, very good." Jaime laughed. "Your wits are quicker than mine, I confess it. When they found me standing over my dead king, I never thought to say, 'No, no, it wasn't me, it was a shadow, a terrible cold shadow.'" He laughed again.

The pool from which the town took its name, where legend said that Florian the Fool had first glimpsed Jonquil bathing with her sisters, was so choked with rotting corpses that the water had turned into a murky grey-green soup. “Care for a bath, Brienne?” He laughed. “You're a maiden and there's the pool. I'll wash your back.”

Jaime sang "Six Maids in a Pool," and laughed when I begged him to be quiet

Steel met steel with a ringing, bone-jarring clang. Somehow Brienne had gotten her own blade out in time. Jaime laughed.

He laughed a ragged, breathless laugh. “Come on, come on, my sweetling, the music's still playing. Might I have this dance, my lady?”

“No,” she said, “no, you must live.” He wanted to laugh. “Stop telling me what do, wench. I'll die if it pleases me.” “Are you so craven?”

Harrenhal, and remembered that was to be their destination. That made him laugh aloud, and that made Timeon slash his face with a long thin whip. The cut bled, but beside his hand he scarcely felt it. “Why did you laugh?”

“Harrenhal was where they gave me the white cloak,” […] Aerys never let me joust.” He laughed again. “He sent me away. But now I'm coming back.”

Jaime had to laugh, no matter how it hurt.

"The knights of the Kingsguard are sworn to keep the king's secrets. Would you have me break my oath?" Jaime laughed.

Jaime had to laugh.

He turned his head to look, but the sound was only his own laughter coming back at him. He closed his eyes, and just as quickly snapped them open. I must not sleep. If he slept, he might dream.

Every crow in the Seven Kingdoms should pay homage to you, Father. From Castamere to the Blackwater, you fed them well. That notion pleased Lord Tywin; his smile widened further. Bloody hell, he's grinning like a bridegroom at his bedding. That was so grotesque it made Jaime laugh aloud.

Jaime had to laugh.

But when the Piper boy started calling them Honor and Glory, he laughed and let the names stand.

Jaime had to laugh.

“. . . the sight of Brienne naked might have made the bear flee in terror.” Connington laughed. Jaime did not.

Piety and devotion. It was all he could do not to laugh.

Jaime did not know whether to laugh or weep.

For honor, Jaime might have said. For glory. That would have been a lie, though. Honor and glory had played their parts, but most of it had been for Cersei. A laugh escaped his lips.

“Hear us roar.” Jaime grinned. “Next you'll be telling me how much he liked to laugh.” “No. Tywin mistrusted laughter. He heard too many people laughing at your grandsire.”

Jaime had to laugh.

#jaime lannister #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #me when i joker too hard #overdosing on copium

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lindseybots · 2 months

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Welcome to The Wind’s Track AU!

A lot of people have been stopping by to check this AU out, so I thought now was a good time to make a pinned post for this.

What is this AU?

This is a Legend of Zelda AU in which Link, the Hero of Winds from Wind Waker and Phantom Hourglass (nicknamed Wind in this AU), sticks around New Hyrule as a spirit after his life has reached its conclusion.

During his wanderings as a spirit one day, he went to check on his old pal Niko to find that Niko had taken in a baby named Link (nicknamed Spirit in this AU) whom he found washed ashore. This baby will eventually grow up to be the Hero of Spirits from Spirit Tracks. Wind is surprised at the matching name and almost identical appearance, but even more surprising than all of that is that this kid has the ability to see and hear him.

Basically, the ghost of the Hero of Winds helps raise the Hero of Spirits.

Don’t know where to start with exploring the AU? Try this, or try exploring some of the tags!

Important Links / Tags

Tags:

#The Wind’s Track AU

#The Wind’s Track

# WT AU

#WT Fanart

#WT Comic

#WT reference sheet

#Lindseybot answers

#WT Wind

#WT Spirit

(if you want to type these in manually, do it lowercased. Tumblr sometimes gets weird with the tags if you capitalize them.)

Links:

WT AU Collaborative Spotify Playlist (A Spotify playlist for the AU made with y’all’s help.)

Some WT AU Questions and Answers (under the break)

Q: Is this associated with Linked Universe?

A: No. While Linked Universe is a wonderful AU, the Wind’s Track is its own, separate AU. The events of Linked Universe DO NOT and NEVER WILL HAPPEN in the “canon” of this AU. If you would like to see a little more of my thoughts on that, please view this post.

Q: Can I post fanart, fanfics, etc. of this AU?

A: Absolutely! If you do, all I ask is that you credit me for the AU. (Also, please tag me so I can see it. 🤭) While on the subject, feel free to check out the tag #WT reference sheet if you’d like to see references of the characters within the context of the AU.

Q: Is there an official fic for this AU?

A: Unfortunately, no. I am not a confident writer. I have an Ao3 account (Lindseybot), but I never post fics on it. I, instead, use it to subscribe, leave kudos, leave comments, etc. I occasionally post little comics of the AU here on Tumblr, however.

Q: Will there be a full comic then?

A: As of now, I do not have any plans to do that. Not only is this AU still very early in development, but that would take a LONG time. With my current schedule being the way it is, it just wouldn't be feasible. Still, never say never. You never know what the future may hold. As of now, I plan to just occasionally post mini comics and art pieces that take place at any random point in the timeline of the AU.

Q: Can I use your art as an icon, banner, etc.

A: Sure!! I’m honored that you like my art enough to want to use it for that! Please just make sure to credit me!

Q: Can I send you asks? / Can I send you a lot of asks? / Can I send you suggestions?

A: PLEASE DO! Hearing from y'all makes me very happy. Anons are welcome too! If you decide to ask anonymously, I will give you an anon name. If you ask about a character’s shoes or something (as a silly example) I might dub you "Shoe Anon." Whether or not you use the name is up to you, but if you want to send another ask later and make it known to me that you are the same anon as from a previous ask you can be like: "Hey! It's Shoe Anon again! I have another question!"

Q: Why does Wind look young? Did he die young?

A: Nope! Don’t let his looks fool you. He may look no older than during the days of his adventures, but he actually lived a long, happy life. His adventures were the most impactful part of his life. As such, his appearance as a spirit is simply a reflection of that.

Q: What ships are in this AU?

A: ST Zelda x ST Link. If you want to see more of my thoughts on that, check out this post.

Q: What games will this AU cover content from?

A: This AU will contain spoilers for the following games:

The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass

The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks

Other games within the Legend of Zelda series are subject to be mentioned, but they are a lot less likely.

Q: The Spotify Playlist collaborator link isn’t working, but I want to be a collaborator. What do I do?

A: Not to worry! Spotify’s collaborator link always expires after seven days. We are forced to put up with that feature. Send me an ask about it. I’ll renew the link! :)

Q: I want to add a song to the playlist, but I don’t want anyone to know I was the one who added it. Is there still a way for me to add it?

A: That’s perfectly fine! Send me the song name and artist name through an anon ask. I’ll add it for you!

#the wind’s track au #the wind’s track #wt au #the wind's track au #the wind's track #I will update this as more questions come up

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spacefinch · 1 year

Text

Pokemon Incorrect Quotes: Unova Edition

Hugh: *handing out smiley balloons* I have no soul. Have a nice day!

Colress: I don't have one either.

Drayden: Let me see what you have!

Iris: A knife!

Drayden: NO!

Cilan: Fun fact! Blueberries are the only fruit named after a color.

Iris: Star fruit?

Cilan: ♥️ So close! That is a shape ♥️

Colresss: Welcome to physics!

*science project explodes*

*screaming*

Hilda: 🎶 ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE 🎶

Hilbert: *banging pots and pans*

Hilda: 🎶 ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, WILL YOU TELL US THAT YOU’RE OKAY 🎶

Teacher: Uh, Cheren, can you read number 23 for the class, please?

Cheren: No, I cannot. What up, I’m Cheren, I’m 19, and I never fricking learned how to read.

Chili: Hi, welcome to Chili's.

Elesa: Hey, I’m lesbian.

Emmet: I thought you were Unovan.

Clay: I wanna be a cowboy, baby!

Alder: Hell yeah!

Clay: I wanna be a cowboy, baby!

Hilbert: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Cheren: Why are you guys reblogging this in December?

Hilda: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Rosa: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Cheren: It is February, you ANIMALS

Nate: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Emmet: "Average person eats 8 spiders a year" factoid, actually statistical error. Average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave and eats over 10,000 every day, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

Chili: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.

Cress: Go back to sleep AND STARVE.

Ingo: Perhaps it is the context in which words are spoken that gives them the power of meaning. *yelling* I LOVE YOU, JOLTIK!

Emmet, banging on pots and pans: I DON'T GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF YOU! Y'ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF ME!

Hilda: Would you like something to drink? *opens fridge* We have water, milk, juice, Joltiks, Dr. Pepper…

Cheren: Joltiks?

Hilda: Joltiks it is, then.

Cheren: Wait, that’s not what I meant—

But she was already pouring him a brimming glass of Joltiks.

Ingo and Emmet: *in the middle of an intense Pokemon battle*

Hilbert: Can I get a waffle? Can I PLEASE get a waffle?

After said battle:

Hilbert, pointing at the losing Pokemon: He need some milk

Ingo: Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!

Rosa (pointing at a flock of Swanna): Look at all those chickens!

Ingo: *filming in selfie mode*

Emmet: (in background) Bop it! Twist it! Pull it!

Colress (grinning): I'M GOING TO JAIL!

Cheren: Tumblr is just talking to yourself but with an audience.

Cilan: That’s called a soliloquy.

Cheren: Found the theater kid. Get em boys.

Iris: Hey OP, how do we know you’re not a theater kid?

Cheren: I’M AN ENGLISH LIT MAJOR, YOUR HONOR

Cilan: Eating chips with chopsticks is unironically galaxy brain. Your fingers don’t get greasy and it lasts for longer.

Chili: Fork

Cilan: Oh, yeah, I’m going to stab my crunchy foods and make them fall apart like an absolute absentminded dunce, fool, clown, jester, like a monstrous moron, an idiot of Shakespearean proportions, a cretin.

Cress: Um, you seem to forget that ‘chips’ can also mean fries. And that’s probably what he was talking about, haha

Cilan: I did not forget anything. I purposely ignore the idea of using British vocabulary to do my part in helping it die out.

Cilan: KNOWLEDGE is knowing that a tomato is technically a fruit.

Cress: WISDOM is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Chili: PHILOSOPHY is wondering if a tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?

Cheren: COMMON SENSE is knowing that ketchup isn't a smoothie.

Ingo: I went to the store and bought Quick Oats. The next day, my brother came back with Instant Oats. I will not be humiliated like this. I must now find an even sooner oat.

Hilbert: I hope nobody is evil

Ghetsis: >:)

Hilbert: Oh no

Elesa: Don’t post your negativity on a positive post.

Volkner: Electrons

Elesa: I should kick your ass.

Cilan: Being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. But then there are also the horrors.

Cheren: People who say ‘oof’ and people who say ‘bruh’ contribute nothing to a conversation.

Nate: OOF

Hilbert: BRUH

Ingo: Early to bed, early to rise, Burger King burger with Burger King fries

Skyla: Later to rise, later to bed, Burger King burger on Burger King bread

Elesa: Eat at morning, eat at night, I participate in a Burger King fight

Emmet: I slap my knees, I slap my thighs, tonight is the night that Burger King dies

Cheren: I currently have seven empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them.

Cilan: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you.

Bianca: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you two.

Nate: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Roxie: *playing guitar*

*suspicious crashing noises in distance*

Roxie: *plays guitar louder*

Hilbert: Big mood.

Emmet: What does that mean?

Hilbert: Well… it means, me too, I guess.

*the next day*

Ingo: I'm worried about Team Rocket using our subway system.

Emmet: Big mood, brother. Big mood.

Ingo: HILBERT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Hilbert: Z is just a sideways N

N: Please stop it

Hilbert: Zo

Elesa: I can't find my earbuds and Target is closed. This is a nightmare.

Burgh: Put a Durant in each ear and they will sing to you.

Elesa: Not a half-bad idea actually.

Emmet: I go to Home Depot

Emmet: I eat the tools

Ingo: Stop it

Emmet: Crumch

Roxie: Is it cheating to teach Toxic to every member of my Pokemon team?

Elesa: Not at all, I'd love to hear them sing it.

Clay: None of y’all know what propaganda actually is, do you?

Hilda: It’s when a British person takes a good look at something.

Elesa: What are you guys going to be for Halloween?

Ingo: Sad

Burgh: Gay

Skyla: Sexy

Emmet: Goblin

Ingo: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds

Emmet: My arms are strong, I would catch you and hug you

Clay: Children, this is dirt.

Nate, Rosa, and Hugh: dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt?

Hilda: Shoutout to all the people who started saying “same” as a joke once in a while but now use it for the most random things like a car honking their horn at another car.

Cheren: Yesterday a book fell off my desk but instead of picking it up, I just looked at it for a second and said “same”

Hilbert: LOL same

Bianca: Why are we like this?

Cheren: Is there anything better than pussy?

Cheren: Yes, a really good book

Cheren: *plays the keyboard*

Hilbert: Who’s the hottest Uber driver you’ve ever had?

N: Ummm… I never went to Oovoo Javer.

*HAS NEVER WENT TO OOVOO JAVER*

Looker: Where’s the best place to buy fireworks?

Hugh: Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?

Looker: Where are your parents? Kid’s sketchy, back to you.

Emmet: *screams into jar and then screws on the lid* Everything’s fine.

Cilan: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?

Nate: Microwave for 40 minutes

Cilan: Why were you microwaving a lemon??

Nate: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges), but I didn’t own any pots.

Cilan: Did you burn an orange too? How??

Nate: Microwave for 40 minutes

Classroom: *silence*

One of the students: turgle turgle

Cheren: WHO TURGLED

Hilda: Hey everyone, today my brother pushed me, so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down. Benefits of killing him would be that I get pushed way less—

Cheren: I get that you're angry, but killing Hilbert is not the solution.

Hilbert: When will Ted himself finally show up to the talk?

Bianca: The final boss

Cheren: Guys, you do realize that TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, and Design, right?

Hilda: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer.

Cheren: I love the word methinks. It’s accurate. Me does think. Thinketh me do.

Hilbert: Methinks therefore me am.

Nate (bragging.): I know every digit of pi.

Nate: I don't know what order.

N: He doesn't know what order.

"Hey besties friendly reminder to drink water, feed your lab Rattata, turn off your evil nuclear generator, change out of your dirty lab coat, go for a walk, and take care of yourself!"

“@evilscientist13”

“COLRESS WAKE UP”

“@evilscientist13”

“COLRESS THE REACTOR”

(during a game of Uno)

Ingo: Brother, please, no.

Emmet: I’m sorry. I have to.

Ingo: Please, I’m begging you, after all we’ve been through?

Emmet: I’m sorry. [places a draw 4 card] Uno.

N: Any questions before I move on?

Porygon: *garbled electric noises*

N: ... Great. I really understood that well.

Elesa: This is camp.

Ingo: What does camp mean?

Emmet: Like when something is so yass and slay

Emmet: Do you think Joltiks take fall damage?

Ingo: Emmet, what the heck?

*at Drayden’s home in Opelucid City*

The Pokemon streaming service profiles read as follows:

Drayden: “Person who pays for the account”

Iris: “Granddaughter (Free pass)”

Ingo: “Parasite 1”

Emmet: “Parasite 2”

Cheren: How long does someone have to be dead before it's considered archaeology and not grave robbing?

Lenora: As an archaeologist, I find this a VERY AWKWARD QUESTION.

Cheren: Answer the question, grave robber.

Elesa: Carpe diem— seize the day

Skyla: Carpe noctem— seize the night

Emmet: Carpe natem— seize the ass

Ingo: Seriously, if you guys don't stop reblogging this, I am going to carpe someone's neck and break it.

Grimsley: Carpe collum— seize the neck

Cheren: Not all math puns are bad.

Cheren: Just sum of them.

Roxie: There is so much panic right now and not nearly enough disco.

Elesa: Where do bad rainbows go?

Skyla: …

Elesa: Prism. It's a light sentence.

Skyla: *groan*

Hilda: If you don't know the difference between "their," "they're", and "there", your a idiot.

Cheren: Well, this is awkward.

Hilbert: I was born ready!

Hilda: You were born in Nuvema Town.

Hilbert: When I was your age… (tells Hilda something he did a few minutes ago)

Nate: A theif

Cheren: Thief?

Nate: Theif

Cheren: I before e, except after c

Nate: Thceif

Cheren: No

Hilda: (singing) A potato flew around my room before you came—

Hilda, Hilbert, Cheren, and Bianca: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Hilbert: I'm nuts about these nuts. But you know what I'm also nuts about? My close good friends!

Hilbert: *gestures to Hilda, Cheren, Bianca, Nata, Rosa, Hugh, and N* My close good friends!

Ghetsis: Remember one time I liked you?

N: No.

Ghetsis: Good, because IT NEVER HAPPENED! *evil laugh*

Cilan: Would anyone like some stew? Would anyone like some stew? Would anyone like some stew?

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