#once again cried over (potentially) unrequited love

[jaunejonquille]

Ehe

#me thinking about putting a crotchet flower bowuet and poetry book for ny friend’s birthday in july #wow! i have not veen this down bad in a couoke years… #instead of repressing im trying to accepr these feekings and not judge them…then move on #itd be wodnerful if ahe felt the same way..but im like 99.9% sure shes straight…and even then… #but we will zoom to cat h up next week thooo #i excited o tell her about my trip and for her to tell me her progress with her thesis! and just chill together #this whole time i thought i was crazy but then realized oh yeah this is pretty normal when you have a crysh… #huhu #once again cried over (potentially) unrequited love #but is okie!

[xovalentinewritesxo]

Say you love me (I need it). [Miguel O'hara]

✿ - Having a crush in the spider society was seen as a distraction. The universe was supposed to be put first, so that's what you did.  Knowing that you were playing with your life and knew that this could kill you.

✿ - Miguel O'hara x Reader

✿ - Angst, With tiny fluff.

✿ - Hanahaki Disease.

✿ - Mentions of blood and vomit, bodily pain, near death experience, yelling/arguing, google translated spanish (I apologize in advance-)

A/N: Hiii~! This is my first fanfic! Miguel might be a little OOC, I wanted to make him a little more soft! My next fic however- I can’t promise you that lol!

If you want to support me: Here's My Kofi! <3

I appreciate everything and everyone who comes across my works! Enjoy!

You knew this disease had the ability and potential to kill you. You knew that very well.

You knew that eventually, it would constrict your breathing, flowers would crawl up your throat and leave you breathless before you eventually passed.

Were you going to say anything about it? Of course not. You couldn’t allow something like this disrupt your job as a spider person.

That was until you were out with Gwen and Jessica, and ended up puking up roses.

You had a mission in Earth-229, a rogue anomaly managed to make it into this universe and Alexander, the Spiderwoman of this dimension [My Spidersona ^^], was sick and couldn’t capture it.

So taking up the job, you were joined by Gwen and Jessica, and the mission was going well. The three of you managed to capture the anomaly and were preparing to bring it back to HQ when you got a surge of pain shoot through your chest.

‘No..no..no! Not now please! Anything but now!’

You were standing with Jessica as she logged the report, when you quickly left their side to curl over the side of the building you were standing on, scaring Gwen and concerning Jess.

“Y/n? Are you okay?!”

“Oh god..is it flaring up again? You haven't been around him today, though.”

That statement from Jess caused Gwen to look at her funny. “What? What is wrong with Y/n?” She asked as she rubbed your back, wincing as she listening to the sound of you throwing up, the pained yet muffled cries leaving your body.

Jessica walks over and helps Gwen raise you back up to your feet, a few rose petals stuck to your uniform, and Jessica looked over the building and sighed. Seeing full roses, some with thorns attached.

“Y/n. You need to either tell him. Or you need to get the surgery!”

“It’s not that simple Jessica! I am going to tell him!”

“When!? I am not going to sit back and watch you waste away simply because you can’t tell Miguel your feelings!”

Gwen, once again slowly raised her hand between the two arguing. “Um...Can I ask...what’s wrong, Y/n?”

You sigh and sit down on the edge of the building, placing a hand to your chest to try and ease the growing pressure that was raging in her body.

“It’s called Hanahaki Disease..”

Gwen raised an eyebrow. “I thought that was a fictional Disease? One used in stories and books..”

You give her a sad chuckle before looking over at her. “It is…in certain universes. Sadly mine it is very much a real disease.” You state as you slowly stand up. 

“Its a disease of unrequited love. One may start to cough of petals if the person they love does not love them back. It starts with Petals, then full flowers, then flowers with stems….” You take a deep breath as you could feel stems start to constrict around certain veins, your lungs being wrapped in a horrifically beautiful pattern.

Jessica can see you struggling to talk and sighs. “She’s in the late stages, stems start to appear in the victim's lungs eventually, if not surgically removed, they’ll constrict their lungs and eventually kill them.”

Gwen gasps as you lean against her, she could hear the wheezing as you struggle to breath, the quick rise and fall of your chest was concerning. You give her a pained smile as Jessica leads you through the portal and back to HQ.

“Y/n…why don’t you get them removed?...if you’re in so much pain..”

“Because. If I remove them. My feelings go too..” You quickly say as Gwen helps you sit on a bench in the cafeteria while Jessica goes to deliver the report to Miguel a job that was usually yours. But with your condition, you slowly stopped going, as even being around him for a short amount of time would cause the vines in your chest to tighten around your heart.

You then freeze for a bit a severe coughing fit coming over her as she hurled over, but instead of vomit, like Gwen had expected, it was several blood roses that hit the floor with a disgusting plop. You dry heave for a bit as a hand flew to your chest.

You could feel your head pounding, the world around you spinning, and you could feel the air being constricted from your lungs. You suddenly grip Gwen’s hand which causes the girl to jump and your eyes widened.

“G-gwen..I-i think i’m going to..” 

You didn’t get to finish the sentence before you felt your body go limp and you fell forward, barely being held up by Gwen who started to freak out.

Your vision was blurred and fading to black and the last thing you heard was Gwen yelling to whoever was passing by to help you to the medical bay.

"Oh My God! Y/n!"

"You did amazing today."

You don’t remember when your feelings for Miguel started. But you want to say it was about a year after joining the Spider Society.

It was just a normal day for you, you were chatting with Lyla as you waited for Miguel to assign you a new mission.

“Hey. Y/n.”

You raise your head to see Miguel lowering his platform so he could come over to you. You could feel  your heart rate increase as he stood across from you. 

“I just wanted to say Thank you, you’ve been a great asset to us since you’ve joined.”

That simple praise is what sent the ball rolling down the hill. Every word he said to you after that made your heart sore, you could see that when you come around that his mood brightens a bit. He would request for you to join him whenever he had a mission. 

"Please take care of yourself, that was a rough mission today,"

"Did you eat today? Please care for yourself, we don't need you passing out."

His small praises would make your heart happy. It made you feel worthy and it only solidified your growing feeling for him.

Sometimes the two of you would spend time together after missions and you knew you were falling head over heels for him.

That was until you overheard him speaking to Jessica one day.

“Why don’t you tell them Miguel?”

“Feelings will only complicate things. I can’t afford to put the universe at risk.”

Those words broke your heart. 

Put the universe at risk? Did he not trust you enough to allow you to love him? Was he afraid that something was going to happen and instead decided to push you away?

Whatever it was, it was the beginning of the end.

Your disease spreads rapidly. After one day of seeing the petals every time you went to cough. To have to leave meetings to have coughing fits and full flowers leaving your body. It was awful. The pain was relentless. You continued your duties as a spider woman, trying not to let your sickness affect you.

You even had a fainting spell in Miguel’s office, and had to beg him to let you continue working, and convince him that everything was fine when everything was in fact, not fine.

You struggled with trying to hide it from Miguel, but you managed, but you couldn't get it past Jessica. Jessica caught on and was concerned beyond belief. She would frequently check in on you, and try to convince you to say something to Miguel.

But you couldn't bring yourself to do it. You didn't want to add more stress to Miguel's daily battles already. So you kept it to yourself, and it was not well for you

“Y/n?...Y/n?..por favor dios cuide de ella*...”

You groaned as you felt IV’s hooked up into your arms, you felt a heavy weighted black over your body.

The sounds of a steady heart monitor and when you glanced over you saw an x-ray picture of your chest. Your condition was bad. You didn't release how bad you had let it get.

It showed vines wrapped around her lungs and flowers were in the smaller crevices, which prevented your body from working to it's full compacity.

You whined as your turned your head to look over to see a very stressed and looked like tear stained cheek Miguel sitting at your bedside with his eyes closed.

You reached out to touch the hand of Miguel who jumped slightly at your touch before he rose from his seat and pulled you into a hug. You froze for a bit before hugging him back, your eyes widening when you feel his body start to shake as if he was…crying.

“Miguel..Are you-”

“Shh..let me hold you..let me hold you y/n.”

You tightened your grip around him as he held onto you tight, he was holding you like you were going to vanish in an instance.

The two of you sat in silence for a good 10 minutes before he finally spoke up.

“Why?..” Is what he asked first, and you knew what he was asking.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” HIs voice suddenly raised up and he moves to grip your shoulders. “How could you just suffer like that in silence?! ¡Respóndeme!” Miguel barked and you could feel tears welling up in your eyes.

“I..i..I’m so sorry Miguel. I..i didn’t want to be a burden to you-”

“SO YOU DECIDED THAT DYING WAS BETTER!?” 

You winced as he cut you off, you hated when he yelled but this time, it wasn’t from a place of anger..it was one of fear, concern and hurt. Miguel brought his hands up to caress both of your cheeks, he lets out a soft sigh before bringing your lips towards his. You gasped as he pulled you into a soft precious kiss, you felt like you were on cloud nine.

Miguel held your lips before pulling away slightly, and pulling you back into a hug.

“Please…do not do that ever again. I love you too much to lose you, especially like this..”

He places a kiss on your forehead as he held you, rubbing your arms, having to have a hand touching you.

You felt your heart swell and hurt, you could feel tears well up in your eyes again as you buried your head into his chest. It was a silent confirmation that the two of you made to each other.

"The doctor says you're cleared up...I'm so glad...When i saw it I thought..I thought.." He got choked up again before he sighs a bit.

"I thought you were going to die...and leave me alone again."

From that moment forward, You promised to tell him everything and he promised to be there for you.

Miguel made sure to take care of you, if you even felt a little off he made you tell him, he was scared of your disease coming back [Even when you told him it wasn’t like that]. He made sure to tell you everyday when you came into HQ that he loved you, hugging you and kissing your cheek or forehead before you left on a mission.

Miguel didn’t want to lose you. So made sure to say it every time he saw you.

“Hey, Mi Amor,..” Miguel stopped you before you headed on a mission, he pulls you into a hug before placing a kiss on your lips.

“I love you.”

You blush and let a small giggle slip past your lips before kissing him back. 

“I love you too..”

© xovalentinewritesxo 2023 <3

Please feel free to put a request in!

#miguel x you #miguel x y/n #miguel x reader #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #atsv miguel #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x y/n #across the spiderverse #atsv fanfiction

[spacecowboyhotch]

The Sun Also Rises: Part 1

summary: yes. that’s it. he’s missed you and your familiar comfort. that’s all.

pairing: f!reader x javier peña

contents: 18+/NSFW/MINORS DNI, best friends to lovers, angst/fluff, mentions of a deceased parent, perceived unrequited love, food mention, allusions to ptsd

word count: 2.3k

an: ive been sitting on a good chunk of this for months now, and finally ive started to flesh out the ending so i thought…why not. not sure when the next part will posted but soon come, i promise! <3

part 2 | series masterlist | writing masterlist

He’s done enough.

That’s what he keeps telling himself. And while it readily applies to his fight in Colombia, sometimes it creeps into other places. He’s done enough. God take him. There’s nothing left for him to be good at. Nowhere in life that his hands won’t stain, the darkest of sins on his hands.

What else could a guy like him do?

He doesn’t feel like anyone was wrong for asking him that question. He doesn’t know the answer to it himself.

What else could a guy like him do?

A guy with no roots, no relationships, nothing but loyalty to a government he doesn’t even trust. Well that’s not entirely true. There are some he doesn’t like to admit, like Steve or the soft dutifulness he feels towards Lorraine even all these years later. But then there’s his father.

There’s you.

If anything is true, he can go home and try to do his best by his father and you. Even if you are many miles away from home.

When you’d first become friends with Javier freshman year of high school you thought something was wrong with you. He flirted with almost every other girl, and if he wasn’t, he didn’t give them the time of day at all. But then he saw you, lost look on your face, and that all changed. He picked you out of that treacherous sea of kids hitting puberty and the rest was history.

You got to see sides of him that weren’t smooth and suave— sides that wiped ketchup off your cheek while eating fries, that taught you how to ride a horse and carried you all the way home when you’d fell off and twisted your ankle. Sides that cried for his mother in the darkness of the night, nothing but the stars gazing down at you as you held him.

Nonetheless you wondered what was wrong. The older you get, the more stupid it feels when you reflect on it. Sometimes the questions still sit in your head.

Why didn’t he treat you like others? Were you ugly? Was the shape of your lips not kissable? Your perfume not sweet enough?

Your mother, god rest her soul, had noticed. Even with your happiness in having Javier as a friend she saw your confidence fall.

She told you something that you’ve held onto— something you model your life after to keep yourself safe. She told you to never lose sleep over something that wasn’t a sure bet. And since then you buried any acknowledgement of Javier’s potential deep in the most inner parts of you.

He’s attractive, he’s sweet, he’s charming. Buried.

He’s funny. He’s your best friend. He makes you feel safe. He’ll always be here for you. Kept.

The sure bet was that he’d always be your friend no matter what. It’s what you hold onto in any rocky situation.

You don’t blame him when he leaves for Colombia and practically vanishes off the face of the earth. You’d seen it coming, prepared for it so that he could focus and do his best down there. But then you get the first letter and your heart jumps. You relax for the first time in months and finally realize all the tension that’s gripped your body.

He’s okay. He’s alive. He’s still your best friend.

Near the end, the letters turn to postcards and you know that he’s struggling to find the words for what’s happening to him. You write as always, hoping to be some constant in his life of chaos. In the news, you see that he’s successful in taking down the Cali Cartel. You assume he just needs time, that he’ll reach out again once he’s processed everything.

A couple months later, your gracious assumption is proven wrong. You’re home for the summer, and at the grocery store grumbling your way through the terrible list of things your father wants to pick up when you spot him in the produce aisle.

For a few moments, you just soak in every detail about him. His hair is just as floppy as always, his skin is smooth and golden. He’s still your Javi but he looks tired, frayed at the edges. You notice how he scans his surroundings often, one of his hands sat on his hip as if ready for action. Once he’s satisfied with the distance between him and others around him, he goes back to picking through the apples, his nimble fingers pressing and prodding.

You cross the aisles, keeping your distance as you call out to him gently, “Javi?”

He turns around immediately, his hand ghosting the empty place where his gun once sat. His eyes rake over your frame, and he straightens up. The sight of you knocks the air out of his lungs, sitting his head right and clear on his shoulders.

Have you always looked like this? So comforting and…ethereal?

He breathes your name almost as a prayer, the relief permeating him.

With an easy smile pulling at the corners of your mouth, Javier can’t remember why he was so worried to see you again. You look at him with that same unconditional affection you always have, and put his nerves at ease. He reaches for you, bringing you in for a hug that you eagerly return.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming home,” You whisper against the shell of his ear.

“I needed time.”

Pulling away you see it, how his eyes glaze over slightly, looking haunted. While that softens your heart further for him, you couldn’t be mad at him if you tried.

“That’s okay. I’m not angry,” You say with a soft smile and he relaxes, releases you until it’s just your hands in his.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m home for the summer. Perks of working at a university.”

“I get you for the whole summer?”

“Till the second week of August then it’s back up North.”

“And how’s Ricky?”

“Good. I’m here picking up all his house essentials, along with some food that’ll actually give him some vitamins.”

Javi leans in to look at the list you hold up, eyes squinting, “His entire list is junk, huh?”

“Shit tons of it,” You agree with a laugh before nudging him with your elbow. “What about Chucho? How’s he?”

“Happy I’m home. Working me like a dog.”

“And you?”

“Me?”

“Are you happy you’re home?” You clarify.

He stares at you a beat, that shy smile that’s always been reserved for you spreading across his face, “I am now.”

The two of you make quick work of the rest of your father and Chucho’s lists. Javier mentions that Chucho’s at bingo too, and invites you over to the house for dinner.

“Javi, unless something’s changed since the last I saw you…you don’t cook.”

He laughs, “No, nothing’s changed.”

“Then you come over to mine, let me cook in my own kitchen.”

It takes no time for you at all to whip up dinner which is two juicy steaks, mashed potatoes and a veggie mix. Javier sips a glass of whiskey slower than usual as he watches you float around the kitchen, barefoot, your hair down and framing your features. He can’t take his eyes off of you, not even when he offers to help you, and he ends up nicking himself when cutting up carrots. You tease him as you bandage him up, claiming he can fire all sorts of firearms but was defeated by a carrot, to which he protests.

It's easy to slip back into the comfortable relationship that you have always had. He asks you a multitude of questions about the last 10 years, the two of you huddled up at the corner of the kitchen table as you eat and chat.

He can’t bring himself to bring up what he wants to know most about; your love life.He feels like he’s in a fever dream with the thoughts he’s been thinking since he saw you. Was he…interested in you? Is this what this is? The unusual flutter in his chest and the slickness of his hands. You’re so pretty. You’ve always been this pretty though, he doesn’t understand. Maybe it’s because he’s missed you.

Yes. That’s it. He’s missed you and your familiar comfort. That’s all.

When you walk him to his car, he turns to you, thrumming his fingers against the fabric of his jeans.

You frown, noticing his nervousness, “What is it?”

He hesitates, running a hand over the back of his neck as he looks up at the night sky, “I don’t know, I just…I’m sorry.”

“What for?” You’re genuinely curious, not just trying to make him work for it.

“I stopped writing and I didn’t tell you I’d be home. I pulled away.”

“It was horrific wasn’t it?”

He hums, rough in his chest, both of hands coming to rest on his hips as he looks down at the ground.

You reach out, lift his chin with the tip of your finger, “Then you were just trying to protect me. It’s alright.”

Javier’s eyes widen slightly at your proximity, and the aching need to sink into your touch. Instead he takes your hand into his, plants a kiss on it like he always used to.

“Thanks. Thank you. Really, I’m…I’m struggling.”

“Not alone though,” You remind him tenderly and he smiles.

“Let’s go to the lake tomorrow?”

The lake. A place that you only brought each other to. It’s stupidly sacred to you both, even though it’s a public park. He’d never even taken Lorraine there, though that all made more sense when you sped him away from his wedding in your old pickup truck on that hot summer day.

“Sure.” You agree easily, “What time?”

“Sunrise?”

“Sunrise.”

It’s around 5 a.m. the next morning when you wake, getting dressed and brewing coffee. The first sips of it sink deep into your bones, perking up the rest of your senses. You pull out a thermos, pour Javi a cup and then head out to sit on the porch.

Javi pulls up in his truck, and when you run down the stairs and hop into his truck with coffee in hand, it feels like the good ol’ days, untainted by all the politics and violence. He’s got classical music playing like always, and the two of you just sip coffee and ride in a comfortable silence. It’s always so easy with him, in a way it isn’t with anyone else.

He brings his coffee when both of you walk to your designated picnic table, the one that’s a little high up and overlooks the lake. It’s the best place in town to watch the sunrise, though maybe you’re biased because of the nostalgia and the company.

Gold and red and orange, the first colors of the sun peak over the horizon. Javier feels like he’s completely at peace, like his past doesn’t exist and that life has always been just like this. He wishes it had been. That he’d just stayed with you and that he’d made his number one priority being your best friend.

“Did you ever watch the sunrise in Colombia?” You ask, head perched on his shoulder.

“A few times when I couldn’t sleep.”

“Were they this beautiful?” You lean forward, and Javier can get a good look at you like this.

He doesn’t look away from you when he answers, “No, nothing beats this.”

“Will you tell me about it? You say after a few moments of quiet.

He makes a disagreeable sound in the back of his throat, “There’s not much good for me to tell you. And what happened to me protecting you from it?”

“I didn’t say it had to be good. I mean…have you talked to anyone about it? When’s the last time you talked to Steve?”

“Murphy and I don’t talk about it. He’s got a family, a kid, he’s moved on.”

“He’d be there for you if you needed it. You just never let anyone in.”

“I let you in plenty.”

“You stopped writing, Javi. You didn’t call. You didn’t tell me you were home,” And though your voice isn’t unkind it makes him wince.

“We’ve already established-“

“That you were protecting me, and it’s sweet. I appreciate it, you know that I do, but maybe I don’t need protection. Maybe I just need you to let me take care of you.”

He doesn’t reply, your words gripping his ability to formulate a response and holding it hostage.

“I didn’t know what to think. I was worried about you, about everything.”

He frowns, “Everything?”

“About us,” You whisper, feeling so stupid again. Feeling like that girl he’d befriended all those years ago.

He’s been through so much, horrible, scarring things that you could never imagine, and this is what you bring up.

He wraps an arm around you and pulls you closer, “You don’t ever have to worry about us.”

You’re so warm against his side, you fit perfectly. Soft and comfortable next to him, he wants this, always. It isn’t just your familiarity and comfort. It’s you— your essence.

He wants you.

You nod, taking a deep breath as you get yourself together, “You’re right, this isn’t about us, it’s about you.”

“I’ll tell you some of it tomorrow, right now I just wanna sit here with you. Okay?”

“Okay.”

You sit there with him until the sun is all the way over the horizon, mostly in silence, but occasionally one of you will point out a bird or squirrel that passes by. When he gets you home, he walks you up to the door as always.

“Lunch and a ride tomorrow?”

“Is it your goal to wear me out all summer?” You tease, hand resting on his chest.

He shrugs with a smug grin, “Somebody’s gotta do it.”

You poke him in the chest with a serious look, “Don’t work too hard out there today.”

“Take that up with Pops,” He captures your hand with his, brings it up for that habitual kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.”

javi taglist: @honeybrowne @lesbianhotch, @hotchs-bitch, @jazzelsaur, @bubblybubbubs, @sheresh0y, @midnightwolf04, @mccn-bcys, @jxvipike

#javier peña x fem!reader #javier peña x reader #f!reader x javier peña #javier pena x you #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña fic #narcos fanfiction #arson writes narcos #not sfw

[megs-mostly-past-random-fandoms]

Spies Can’t Catch Feelings

Based on this request:  I haven’t seen any requests for Peaky Blinders yet. Can I request a Tommy Shelby fic where the reader has been kind of like a spy for him and she kinda has feelings for him but also finds herself falling for Alfie too??

Here you are! *Familiar Characters are NOT mine!*

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Warnings: Angst (no fluff here folks), unrequited feelings, mentions of smoking(it’s Peaky Blinders), mentions of spying and potential death, I think that’s it, but let me know if I missed something. 

Pairings/Characters: Tommy Shelby x fem!reader(platonic-ish), Alfie Solomons x fem!reader (platonic-ish)

As soon as you were back home, you let out a sigh. You removed your coat and walked to the parlor, only to scream when you saw someone sitting there. "Bloody hell, Tommy!" you shouted when you realized it was none other than Thomas Shelby sitting in your parlor. "What are you doing here?" you snapped, causing him to raise a brow. He didn't like it when you used that tone, but he'd scared you half to death.

         "You haven't rang. I was worried." You let out a snort of laughter. "You don't get worried, Thomas. You want your information. I told you before, when I have anything of note, I'll ring. Other than that, don't come sneaking into my house. Alfie Solomons hasn't lied to you so far. Not from what I've seen. I have free reign of that office. Everything appears legitimate as far as I can tell. At least where you and the Peaky Blinders are concerned."

         Tommy rose gracefully from his seat and came over to you. In your personal space. You bit back the happy sigh that threatened to escape you. You couldn't let your feelings be known yet. Not while you were in the thick of things with Alfie. You were Tommy's spy and spies can't catch feelings. Except, you'd had feelings for Tommy long before he ever asked you to spy for him.

         "Find whatever you can on him so we can bring you home, Y/N." He placed a hand on your shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. "I'm counting on you." With that, he left you home while your heart threatened to beat out of your chest. He had been so close. Close enough you could smell the gun powder and cigarette smoke on him. His lips had been right there and part of you wanted nothing more than to kiss him. You let yourself get lost in the fantasy for a bit before shaking your head and going about your personal business and going to bed. You had work the next day after all.

         You didn't mind working for Alfie. He really was a great employer. Sure, he had a temper, but he never let it loose on you. In fact, he kept you safe from the leering eyes of the other men in his "bakery". He didn't talk often, but once he got going, he was a great person to talk to. He was so intelligent and even funny sometimes. And you had to be honest, sometimes, when he stared at you, his eyes bore into your soul and sent shivers down your spine. But mostly, you were happy being friendly with your current employer.

         In fact, you were starting to have second thoughts about spying on him for Tommy. Your mind kept comparing the two of them while your heart bounced between them. You could easily admit that you had feelings for Tommy. You had for a while now. Alfie was a different story. You knew you felt something for him, but you didn't know what. Surely you couldn't be falling for Alfie too. Could you?

*the next day *

         "You alright?" You nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard Alfie's voice. You hadn't realized you'd been zoned out. "Sorry. Yeah, I'm fine.  Just…lost in thought I guess." You let your gaze meet his and he gave you the closest thing you'd get to a smile from him. "Go on home then. You've done more than enough for today. Get some rest, Miss Y/L/N." You laughed a bit.

         "How many times must I ask you to call me Y/N?" He smirked and replied that until you called him Alfie, he'd continue calling you by your last name. You loved the easy banter between the two of you. It brought about a warmth in your chest and butterflies in your stomach that was different from the feeling you got around Tommy.

         "Alright, I'll go. But I'll be back bright and early tomorrow. Goodnight, Alfie." You could feel Alfie's eyes on you as you grabbed your handbag and your coat. "Night, Y/N." You smiled and left. Part of you thought about sneaking back later, but the more rational part of you knew that, even if he were up to something nefarious, he wouldn't keep evidence in his business. Not where anyone could see anyway. Based on everything you'd seen and heard, he really wasn't out to get Tommy. So, you ignored that nagging voice and went about your business. As it would happen, that was the wrong thing to do.

         Once again, Tommy was in your parlor when you arrived home. Only this time, he was glaring at you with such venom, you nearly shirked away. "What are you doing here, Thomas?" you asked as you removed your coat. Tommy stamped out his cigarette in the ashtray you kept out for him.

         "You...lied to me." Your brows furrowed and you tilted your head to the side as you studied his face. Whatever he was talking about was obviously serious. At least to him. "What are you talking about?" Tommy stood, placed a hand in his pocket, and called out, "John. Bring 'im here." You glanced over your shoulder to see John nearly dragging a beat-up Arthur Shelby into the parlor.

         "What the hell happened to you?" you asked, moving to help. A glare from John and the sound of Tommy clearing his throat stopped you. "What do you think happened, Y/N?" Tommy asked, "You're a smart girl. You can put two and two together." You whirled around to face him again. "You think Alfie did this?! Are you stupid? Alfie wouldn't do this. He's been honest with you from the beginning, Tommy. This was probably the Italians."

         "I sent Arthur to check on your progress this afternoon. That was where it happened. This is Solomons' work. I just can't prove it." You felt your knees shaking as he took a step toward you. "Now, either you didn't know and I can let you off with a slap on the wrist for being stupid. Or you did know and I kill you now before you can betray us again. I just need to know which. So…which is it?"

         "I-I don't know anything. I swear. Alfie…he didn't do this as far as I'm concerned." Tommy regarded you for a moment, trying to decided whether or not he believed you. After what seemed like an eternity, he spoke again, "You're protecting him. That's why you've given me nothing these past months. The question is why?" You swore your heart was going to beat right out of your chest.

         "I'm not, Tommy. I swear. I haven't done anything to betray you or your family. If Alfie did this, he kept his plan close to the vest. There was never any sign that he would-" You weren't stupid. You knew Alfie would do something like that if provoked, but not out of the blue. But you couldn't tell Tommy that. He'd never believe you.

         "You let us down," Tommy said in response, "Do you know what we do to those who betray us?" You narrowed your eyes and tried to fight back tears. You couldn't believe that the man you had been falling in love with was talking to you like this. "Don't you dare threaten me, Thomas Shelby. I did NOT betray you, but God knows I wish I had now!" Tommy's usually stoic mask twisted into an expression of rage.

         "We're leaving. But know this, if I ever lay eyes on you again," he began, pulling a bullet out of his pocket, "I will put this bullet right in your heart." You clenched your fists at your sides. Your heart was breaking and you wanted to slap yourself at your own foolishness. How could ever think Tommy would love you? The man had no heart.

         Taking a deep breath, you stared Tommy directly in his eyes and said, "And if I ever see you again, I'll put one between your eyes. Now, get out." Your entire body was shaking as the three men left your home. As soon as the door closed behind them, you sank to your knees on the plush carpet and let yourself cry. How had things gone so badly so suddenly? The only good thing was that it was over. Well, almost. Now, you needed to resign from Alfie's bakery before he found out everything.

         The next morning, you were in Alfie's office first thing. He stared at you with those eyes and you almost couldn't speak. "Resignation?" he asked and you nodded. Once again, you were fighting back tears. You just couldn’t understand how you had been so stupid, falling in love with not one, but two notorious criminals. That was why spies couldn't catch feelings. It never worked out. You knew that. Too bad your heart hadn't. "Y-Yes. I think it's for the best." You turned to leave. When your hand was on the knob, Alfie spoke up again.

         "This is about Tommy Shelby, ain't it? About the job he asked you to do?" You froze instantly as fear gripped you. You turned slowly to meet his gaze once more. "I beg your pardon?" Alfie sat back in his chair with a slight grunt. "Tommy Shelby sent you here." You let go of the knob and turned back to him with your head down.

         "Yes. How long have you known?" Alfie leaned forward again, resting his elbows on his desk, but you could still feel his eyes on you. "Since Arthur Shelby came poking around yesterday." Your head shot up. "Did you do that to him?" Alfie sighed. "That, pet, was an unfortunate accident, weren't it? He stumbled into something he wasn't supposed to. If I hadn't done it, Sabini and his men would've killed him."

         "I didn't tell them anything!" you suddenly cried before slapping your hands over your mouth. Alfie stared at you for a second then, he began laughing. "I know, pet. Not that you could've. There's nothing to tell, is there? I didn't betray Tommy. Neither did you." You scoffed and rolled your eyes. "Tell that to him. He thinks I did and that I'm protecting you. Threatened to shoot me." Alfie's brows drew together. "Now why would he think that?"

         "Maybe because I'm falling in love with you and too stupid to hide it." Your eyes widened as Alfie took in your surprise admission. "I, uh, I-nevermind. I need to leave now before I embarrass myself further." With that, you threw open the door and ran from Alfie, cursing yourself all the way home. You didn't know what was going to happen next, but you were almost certain neither of the men you had feelings for were going to be a part of your life anymore.

(a/n: I hope you enjoy it!)

#peaky blinders #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #thomas shelby x reader #alfie solomons #alfie solomons x reader #tommy x reader #alfie x reader

[sunshinejihyun]

Chocolatey Giggles - Kiro’s Birthday 2021

Author’s note: happy birthday, you big goofball. I love you so much.

the little scene I mention with Lucien is based off @dreamer-hyun​‘s WONDERFUL fic called ‘watch the universe expand’. Go read it, it’s amazing.

Word Count: 1580

Warnings: brief mention of unrequited love concerning Lucien, unedited bc im toired

Masterlist

Kiro had awoken before her; he was expecting sunlight to be streaming in through their windows, casting a glow over her soft but he was instead met with a rumble of thunder and a flash of lightning.

He must have slept the night through, but with the worried lines creasing her forehead, Kiro knew she hadn’t slept well. He gently pulled the covers up over her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her forehead before getting out of the bed and stretching.

Even though it was his birthday, Kiro still had to work. The life of an idol never stopped, even when he wish his Evol was more like Victor’s; Kiro would love being able to stop time so he could have a little world all to himself and the woman he loves. He kept telling himself that the faster he went and got the recording finalized and perfect, he’d be back in her arms where Kiro felt the safest.

So he snuck one final peek at her face. The worried lines had fallen away and she looked peaceful; it was the perfect image to etch in his brain before he saw her once again.

The driver was already waiting for Kiro as he came down his front steps. He didn’t bother changing; he knew he should but he really just wanted even more of a reason to head on home as soon as possible.

Kiro brushed his driver away as he reached to open the idol’s door. “Please, I’m perfectly capable of opening my door.”

“Of course sir. I’ll get in the drivers seat then.”

Settling himself in his seat, Kiro pulled out of his phone to send a text.

Miss Chips! Today’s a wonderful day! Don’t worry about the rain, the best part of celebrating Kiro Day is being in the arms of the person he loves most, and that’s you! I’ll be home before you miss me too long.

Kiro hoped that seeing that message would put a smile on her face when she woke up. One of the ones where she’d smile sleepily while still rubbing her eyes and seeing the slow way her face lit up always brought strength and warmness to Kiro’s heart.

As the rain pattered on, Kiro watched the raindrops race down the window and placed bets every time on which one would win to kill time.

A ding from her phone brought her out of a restless sleep, the side of the bed next to her was cold but judging from the imprint on the pillow, Kiro had only left maybe ten minutes before. The storm last night had been noisy, and she didn’t sleep well through them. She even briefly wondered if Lucien did okay through the storm.

Before she and Kiro got together, she and Lucien would stay up late on stormy nights, only a wall between their backs as they talked on the phone through stories about fictionalized worlds. She didn’t realize it then, but Lucien told her more about himself in those stories than he ever told her to her face.

The storm connected them, and now it felt like the biggest disconnect in the world not to have his calming voice whispering to her until the sun started to rise. It wasn’t that they couldn’t talk, but he had distanced himself since she and Kiro had gotten together; she didn’t blame him either. He loved her. She loved him too, just in a different way.

She wouldn’t change anything, though. Not even for the whole world, because Kiro was her world and that would mean potentially losing him in the change.

Her phone made another sound, reminding her of the message that roused her from the light sleep she had slipped in after waiting for the sun to arise. Kiro had texted and it was a message that warmed her heart and made her feel a bit more awake.

Rubbing her eyes, she set out for the kitchen. There was coffee still in the coffee pot from when Kiro made it and she poured some in a mug before pulling out the cake box she had hidden from Kiro in an empty sealable bag of peas and carrots. He wouldn’t dare eat those on his own, so she figued it’d be a safe place to hide the mix to surprise Kiro for his birthday. As long as Savin didn’t escort him in, she and her love would be able to eat enough cake until they crashed on their couch from a sugar rush later on.

Baking the cake was mindless, the hum of the mixer calmed her nervous coffee jitters and by the time it was in the oven, she was snuggled under warm blankets on the couch. The coffee didn’t keep her awake for long and the slow drops of rain against the roof was enough to lull her back to sleep.

She woke the second time because the fire alarm started screaming. She couldn’t place where it came from at first but as soon as she spotted the smoking oven, she rushed over and pulled the burning cake pan from the oven.

Dropping the hot metal into the sink, she rushed to open the windows and clear out the smoke.

“Miss Chips? I’m hom- WAH! What’s that smell?” Kiro walked through the door, choking on the smoke as Apple Box ran to him, jumping up and landing his paws on Kiro’s shoulders.

“I burnt something!” She cried out, grabbing a handheld fan and trying to push the smoke towards the open window.

Kiro gently removed Apple Box from his shoulders and grabbed a magazine, helping her to fan the rest of the smoke out. The fire alarm had stopped screaming and the kitchen was starting to smell like burnt cake and rain, a weird combination but not an unpleasing scent.

Kiro peered into the sink and laughed. “Did you try to bake again? You know what happened to the cookies!” She had tried to bake him cookies to snack on during a plane ride a few weeks ago and no matter how long they were in the oven, they refused to cook. Kiro left with no snacks and she was left with un-cookable cookie dough.

“Shh,” she pouted, walking over to Kiro and wrapping her arms around her from behind. “I just wanted to do something nice for your birthday and it’s ruined.”

He turned, hugging her head close to his chest. “Kiro Day isn’t ruined!” Kiro kissed the crown of her head. “Just having you here like this is enough for me.” It was quiet for a moment, they stood wrapped in each other and swaying to the gentle pitter patter of the rain. “Besides, the cake isn’t ruined either.”

“Um,” she blinked, looking up at him. “It’s kinda burnt.” “Hear me out, but I saw on Tik Tok that if you mix cake with frosting and put them in balls and freeze them, they can be cake pops after you dip them in chocolate! We could do that!”

“That’s… actually genius, Mister Kiro! Good job!” She bounced up on her toes and smacked a kiss on his cheek before breaking out from his grip. “Let’s start!”

That’s how they ended up in standing side by side in the kitchen. She was on a stool and watched as Kiro guided the handheld mixer around the burnt cake and chocolate frosting.

“Now we just have to roll them into balls!” Kiro said, and she snickered as he dipped his hand in the bowl and got a clump of the messy cake.

They giggled together as they rolled each individual cake pop and every once in a while one would hip bump the other, which would throw them into another fit of giggles.

Once they had popped the cake in the freezer, they plopped on the couch and cozied up together. His arm was around her shoulder and her head was on his shoulder. Kiro draped a blanket over both of their laps and Cello jumped up and curled into her lap. Apple Box sat on Kiro’s feet which made the both of them giggle.

“I’m sorry you didn’t sleep well last night.” He said, kissing her forehead softly. She responded with a kiss of her own, placed right on the side of his throat.

“It’s fine, I had a nap earlier.” She didn’t question how Kiro knew she had a restless night; he always could tell from one look at her. He claimed once it was because her eyes didn’t sparkle as much. “I’m sorry I ruined your birthday cake,”  She picked up her head then and choked back a giggle.

“What is it?” Kiro asked, his eyebrows furrowing which just made the chocolate on his nose that much funnier.

“Hold still,” she replied, leaning over to grab her phone from the coffee table and snapping a picture of his confused face, covered with chocolate. She showed him then, and he scrambled for a napkin. “That’s going on Moments!” She declared.

“Miss Chips, don’t you dare!” Kiro’s quick fingers tickled at her stomach and sides, causing more laughter to bubble up. “If you do that, Savin will kill me!”

“...Too late!” She cried before she escaped his tickling. “Happy birthday Kiro, I love you.”

“Thank you, Miss Chips, for spending Kiro Day with me!” He replied before touching her sides softly this time and pulling her in to share a sweet, frosting tasting kiss.

#mlqc kiro #mr love queen's choice kiro #love and producer kiro #mlqc kiro fanfic #mlqc fanfic #kiro x mc #kiro fanfic #mr love fanfic #mr love fanfiction #happy birthday kiro 💛🤍

[all-hail-the-witcher]

okay so @ecccentrick and i have been talking for the last few days about putting witcher characters in a shadowhunters (the books not the show) au and here are some thoughts ive had specifically about geralt:

-holy fuck hes a herondale

-herondales in shadowhunters are a family that is known for a few things: being Incredible fighters, being dramatic (and usually sarcastic) little shits, being afraid of ducks, and falling in love head over absolute heels, like there is only That One Person for them. once they fall in love thats essentially it

-they also generally have some Tragic Backstory that gets unlocked eventually and it usually stems back to something along the lines of Woe Is Me I Cant Be With This Person That I Love Because I Am Broken And Undeserving Of Affection So I Shall Push Everyone That Looks At Me Away Grrr

-and if thats not geralt, idk what is

-for example

-in city of bones jace herondale tells this very dramatic bed time story about how his “father” gave him a hunting falcon when he was 10 and wanted him to make it obedient. jace taught the falcon to come when called and land on his arm and then when he showed his father his father was appalled and sn*pped the birds n*ck saying that “i told you to make it obedient, you taught it to love you.” and jace recounts all this ending the story with “the boy never cried again and he never forgot what he learned, that to love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed”

-geralt pretty much has this Exact Moment in ep4: “i need no one, and the last thing i want is someone needing me.” 

-theres another herondale, will, who thinks that he has a curse put on him that makes everyone who loves him die, so much so that he runs away from home and goes to live in london. he only allows himself to get close to someone who is already dying and is a downright prick to everyone else and generally doesn't care if he lives or dies (until he meets someone who he actually loves and then tries to break the curse only to realize that there was no curse to begin with)

-will also loves books, and i think that geralt personally would be a Huge Reader because cmon kaer morhen must get boring in the winter

-but anyway, the curse?? that has Huge Angst potential 

-but also. the herondales are just witty little assholes, much like i think geralt would be.

-for example we have:

- “have you fallen in love with the wrong person yet” “

- “if you wanted me to take my clothes off, you could have just asked”

- “of course they are [staring]. i am stunningly attractive.”

- “it sounds like he ate a dictionary and started vomiting words at random.”

- “i use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain”

- “and what color do you suppose your inner soul is, will herondale?” “mauve.”

- “it means: shadowhunters. looking better in black than the widows of our enemies since 1234″

- “i am a man and men do not consume pink beverages. get thee gone woman and bring me something brown”

- “dont talk down to me” “well i could hardly talk up to you. youre too short”

-bUT THEN THEY ALSO SAY DEEP SHIT LIKE:

- “there are so many worse things than death. not to be loved or not to be able to love: that is worse”

- “they say time heals all wounds, but that assumes the source of the grief is finite”

- “if there is a life after this one, let me meet you in it”

- “as long as i can still dream i will dream of you”

- “i love you and i will love you until i die and if theres a life after that i will love you then”

- “life is a book and there are a thousand pages i have not yet read”

- “declarations of love amuse me, especially when unrequited”

- “i swear on us. because there isn't anything i believe in more”

-in conclusion i need geralt as a herondale

#HE EVEN HAS THE GOLD EYES #ASKDJHAKSHD #buddy #i need #that #witcher #shadowhunters #geralt #geralt of rivia

[thatguy-kai]

MLB - THE MYSTERY OF LOUP GRIS

Chapter One

"Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves." - Matthew 7:15

"Miraculous Ladybug!"

A great whorl of pink beams burst from Ladybug's Lucky Charm, whipping across the streets of Paris in a flurry of light as they mended the aftermath of the latest akuma attack.

When the beams returned, spiralling back into Ladybug's yo-yo, a black mass behind them split apart, a redhead woman emerging on all fours with a perplexed look on her face. The last thing she remembered was being harassed by some developers outside her greenhouse and a smooth, but dark voice speaking into her mind. Now here she was below the Arc de Triomphe, watching as gargantuan vines disappeared from the roads.

"Wha-?" she stammered. "What...happened?"

Within moments, whole crowds of people were gathering around them, applauding Ladybug and Cat Noir's newest victory in a great, euphoric wave.

Despite the work she had done today, Ladybug couldn't help but feel a little shy, rubbing the back of her neck as Cat Noir laughed and waved back at their admirers. After soaking up the attention for a few moments, the feline held his fist out towards his partner, smiling as he and Ladybug exchanged a fist-bump.

"Pound it!"

And like clockwork, Officer Roger Raincomprix emerged from the crowd, smiling as he fiddled with his navy police cap.

"Good job, Ladybug and Cat Noir!" he grinned. "We've can take it from here!"

Ladybug acquiesced with a nod and following Cat Noir's lead, leapt over the greenhouse's fence and across to the next building. But as soon as they were out of sight, Cat Noir suddenly grabbed her hand.

"Milady! A moment, please?"

Ladybug stopped as her partner called out to her, raising a single, bluebell eyebrow.

"Cat? What's wrong?"

"Um..." Cat Noir felt himself taken aback for a moment, his words caught in his throat as he stared into Ladybug's sapphire eyes. "I...uh..."

But he willed himself back to sanity, clearing his throat and taking Ladybug's other hand and holding it to his face.

"Milady," he began. "I know that you're busy and all...but in a few days..."

Ladybug angled her head. "Hmm?"

"Uhhhh," Cat stammered. "Well, I know you probably know this already...but it's alright if you don't, but I..uh...just thought you should know...just in case! There's an important day coming up, um and was wondering if you would..."

Important Day? Ladybug suddenly felt anxious, like she had forgotten something very important.

"Is it...your birthday?"

Cat Noir shook his head, forgetting his nerves and laughing as he squeezed Ladybug's hands tighter.

"No," he chuckled. "No, it's not my birthday, it's about us!"

Us. The word sent a short buzz of electricity through Ladybug's body. As Cat Noir leaned closer, she felt even more unsettled, watching as her blue-haired reflection in his emerald eyes.

"Don't you know?" Cat asked inquisitively. "It's been a y-!"

Deet! Deet! Deet!

Ladybug gasped as her earrings started beeping, shocking her awake from her trance.

Saved by the bell.

"Sorry, Cat Noir!" she apologized, slipping her hands out of his. "Gotta go! Bug Out!"

Ladybug drew her yo-yo and turned to leave, but stopped momentarily and turned around, patting Cat Noir's cheek with a nervous smile.

"Maybe next time, Kitty."

And without another word, she threw her yo-yo over the adjacent building and leapt off into the horizon, Cat Noir sighing disappointedly as he watched her disappear.

"It's been a year since we became heroes..."

Ladybug zipped over the Parisian rooftops, her thoughts buzzing in time with the busy street-life below.

It had been almost two months since their duel with Hawk Moth on Heroes Day, two months since the Miraculous Wielders of Paris had come together to face their greatest battle yet.

And though they had won, the battle had taken the heroes completely by surprise. Without either Ladybug, Cat Noir or Master Fu knowing, Hawk Moth had not only managed to launch a co-ordinated attack on Paris but had also unlocked more of his potential.

Ladybug had tossed the same thoughts over and over in her mind for weeks. Yes, the heroes had won the battle, but barely. Practically a fluke. They might have won the fight, but Hawk Moth had escaped, with new knowledge of his Miraculous - slipping through their fingers once again.

Ladybug stopped flying across the streets, landing on a rooftop to catch her breath and gather her bearings, the roof of Francoise-Dupont gleaming in the distance of the yellow morning sun.

But even worse, Hawk Moth had a new ally - the Peacock. Yet another new power on Hawk Moth's side. Ladybug had tossed the same thoughts over and over in her mind these last few weeks and had come to the same conclusion; that they hadn't won at all. The victory had been hollow.

The heroine's hand curled into a fist at her side, gritting her teeth until she felt like they would crack.

She had to get stronger. Both her and Cat Noir. Ladybug had consulted Master Fu about this after Heroes Day, but the monk had yielded no answers.

The heroine retracted her yo-yo cord as she came within view of the Francoise-Dupont. As she landed, Ladybug took a deep breath, her lapis eyes darting back and forth to make sure no-one had witnessed her arrival.

A weight released itself from her chest when she saw the coast was clear, front-flipping off the roof and into the school's atrium, diving into the locker room just as her Miraculous timed out. Streams of white and hot-pink light washed over her, a light breeze tousling her blue pigtails as 'Ladybug' turned into Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

A pink sprite hovered by Marinette's side, a mischievous glint in it's chibi eyes.

"Tikki?" Marinette asked. "Why're you looking at me like that?"

Tikki's sly smile grew, the kwami moving closer to Marinette's ear.

"Maybe next time, Kitty..." she cooed.

Those words sent a hot flush through Marinette's body, her cheeks turning bright pink as Tikki snickered to herself.

"W-W-Wha-What?!" Marinette stammered, her eyes wide as saucers. "Tikki?!"

"Since when have you been so friendly with Cat Noir, Marinette?" the kwami giggled, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "Does Adrien have some competition~?"

Marinette gasped, her hands clapped against her cheeks as Tikki's laughter subsided. Millions of thoughts were racing through her mind like television static, overlapping and growing louder as Marinette tried to make sense of them.

Noticing her master's worry, Tikki put a hand on Marinette's cheek.

"Relax, Marinette..." she beamed. "I was just teasing!"

The chaos in Marinette's mind finally settled down, allowing her to form coherent thoughts.

The girl knew she'd be lying if she said that Cat Noir hadn't grown on her - puns, flirts and all. There had always been a bond between them, right from the moment that they had first met - a union that had only strengthened with every battle they fought together.

"Marinette?" Tikki asked, her pint-sized head angling with confusion.

But, in the end, their being together would only bring uncertainty - hurt even. They were two different people, masks or not and even if she could somehow bring herself to reveal her identity, would Cat still want her? Would he accept all of her? Or was he only interested in Ladybug?

The lie. The fake me.

Marinette sighed, opening her locker and fishing around for her books.

...And that wasn't even counting the biggest hurdle - Adrien. Marinette knew (from no lack of trying) that she could never forget her first love and that even if that love remained unrequited, dating another would feel like an irreparable betrayal, like she'd be breaking Adrien's heart without even having a place within it in the first place.

"I dunno, Tikki..." she sighed. "I don't wanna think about it...Not with everything going on..."

Marinette could practically hear Tikki hanging her head, the disappointment curdling in her tiny form.

"I just..." she sighed without finishing her sentence, gathering the last of her books and closing the locker.

-Until something hooked around her lower right ankle.

"Wagh!" Marinette cried out. Without noticing, someone had managed to sneak past the bluenette and trip her to the ground in a blur of sunlight, red walls and falling books, a guffawing laughter echoing above her.

Marinette removed one of the fallen books that landed on her head, the smug faces of Chloe Bourgeois and Sabrina Raincomprix towering above her.

"Clumsy trash!" Chloe remarked. "Maybe if you'd spent less time talking to yourself and more time listening to moi, I might actually be able to look at you without wanting to barf."

Marinette sneered at the terrible twosome as they left for the classroom, their cackling laughter echoing after them.

Right. How could she forget? Marinette was already at her wit's end balancing her superhero and school lives, so where would she find the time for dating? With her luck, there'd probably be an akuma attack every time she was asked out...

The girl let out a defeated groan, reaching for her scattered books with a forlorn expression.

But just then, a footfall resounded from the locker room door, becoming louder and louder as they neared Marinette.

"Ugh, go away Chloe..." Marinette spat. "Shouldn't you be on your way to class or some...thing..."

The bluenette turned to face 'Chloe' as she finished gathering her books, a pair of snow-white Doc Marten boots before her eyes.

An embarrassed blush formed on Marinette's face. Those weren't Chloe's shoes....

And then she finally looked up, a boy's face staring back.

The blush on Marinette's cheeks brightened as she looked upon him. The boy was a head taller than her, with auburn, fade-cut hair and skin so fair that it bordered a pallor. His clothes seemed just as unworldly, his lean form wrapped in a loose, sable-black drawstring shirt and ragged, white cargo pants that dangled just partway down his shins.

Was he some kind of traveller? A gypsy?

"-e do this often?"

Reality struck Marinette like a freight train as the boy spoke. His voice was low, but had a soft refinement to it.

"What?" Marinette asked, hoping he didn't notice her daydreaming.

"The blonde." he repeated, indicating in the direction Chloe had left. "Does she treat you like this often?"

Marinette felt shy all of a sudden, shaking her head as she put on her best fake smile.

"Huh? Chloe? Nah! I mean she does - but wait, she doesn't and u-um...there are others besides me! But y-you know...m-mostly me and-"

"Grow a spine."

Marinette froze, the boy's words cutting through her like a sharp blade. "H-Huh..?"

"I said 'grow a spine'." the boy spat, his eyes narrowed. "If you don't quit stammering like an idiot and learn to stand up for yourself, people will just keep making fun of you."

He straightened his leather shoulder bag, not even bothering to help Marinette off the ground.

"...That's the way the world works."

And he left without another word.

A wave of insecurity started to rise within Marinette as she watched the boy leave, groaning in defeat once more. Oh man, she barely even met a new person and he already thought she was a total dork. The bluenette knew she had her flaws but did that guy have to be so mean about it?

She sighed and hung her head, picking up the rest of her books.

But her self-reflection was interrupted by the sound of another foot-fall, a caramel skinned girl with large glasses appearing in the doorway.

Marinette's eyes lit up. "Alya!"

Alya's glassed face wrinkled with disapproval. "Marinette, what are you doing on the floor? Don't tell me you fell over again."

"No," Marinette grumbled as Alya helped her up. "It was Chloe. And then after she tripped me over, some boy started being mean to me..."

Alya folded her arms as Marinette dusted off the sides of her pants. "What boy? Was it Adrien?"

She gasped as she put a supportive hand on Marinette's shoulder, a sinister glint in her eyes.

"Girl, you tell me that Adrien was being mean to you and I'll have him dangling from the Eiffel Tower before you can say 'Ladybug'!"

Marinette looked at her friend with silent shock, clamping her hands over Alya's mouth as if in fear of someone hearing them.

"No way!" she exclaimed. "Adrien would never do something like that! He's too perfect!"

She stepped back as Alya rolled her eyes.

"Besides, this guy looked nothing like Adrien! He was taller and with darker clothes and brown hair with some kind of silver streak in it! Or was it white? I can't remember..."

Alya seemed just as puzzled as Marinette was.

"Hmm," she pondered, cycling through some photos on her phone. "Doesn't ring a bell. But you said he had a streak in his hair? Sure it wasn't Luka?"

The mere mention of Luka's name brought a hot flush to Marinette's face. "No...b-but, Luka wouldn't be so mean either!"

Alya rolled her eyes again as she tucked her phone away and started toward the stairs to class. "So what did this guy say to you anyway? What was it that upset you so much?"

Marinette followed her friend up the stairs, sighing with every step.

"He told me to 'grow a spine'. That I needed to stop being such an idiot and stand up for myself."

Alya glanced away coyly. "Well..."

Marinette gasped, a look of mock betrayal on her face. "ALYA! Not you too?!" The bluenette whined like a wounded dog and clung to Alya's arm.

"Mari," Alya sighed, patting Marinette's head. "You aren't weak at all. And you're definitely not an idiot. You're kind, sweet, sensitive and so, so talented."

Marinette could feel a 'but' coming from a mile away.

"...But you shouldn't let Chloe get to you. You need to be brave - to stick up for yourself!"

Her words made Marinette hang her head again. "I know, I know. But that's exactly what the guy said."

Alya laughed as they reached the homeroom class door. "Heh, maybe next time you see this guy, you should thank him."

"Ugh!" Marinette shuddered. "No way!"

The two of them finally reached the classroom, Marinette turning the brass doorknob with a delicate hand. "I don't think I ever want to see that guy ag-"

"Marinette and Alya!"

The girls froze as a voice beckoned them from the front of the room, a merigold-haired woman watching them with her hands on her hips. "Homeroom started over three minutes ago, where have you been?"

The two girls felt the eyes of the entire classroom upon them, Marinette smiling nervously and Alya shirking back towards the door.

"Sorry, Miss Bustier." Marinette quickly apologized, bowing her bluebell head. "I fell over and hurt myself in the locker room. Alya stayed behind to help me with my books..."

The stern look on Miss Bustier's face relaxed, her understanding smile returning, albeit with a weary sigh.

"I do hope you're alright, Marinette." the woman said. "But please be aware that it's your duty as Class Representative to set a good example."

She shuffled the papers in her hands together, tapping them against her desk.

"...And to welcome new students to the school."

Alya's eyebrows raised. "A new student? Who?"

"The one trying to get into the classroom."

Marinette and Alya shrieked as they felt a presence behind them, one that seemed to appear out of nowhere. As they jumped aside, their hearts pounding like fists in their chests, an aloof looking boy sauntered past them - stopping just before Miss Bustier's desk.

Marinette's eyes bulged when she realized who it was, his odd clothes and cold attitude setting off alarm bells in her head.

"Agh!" she exclaimed as she pointed at him accusedly. "It's you! The guy from before!"

The boy folded his arms coolly. "You were expecting Jagged Stone, perhaps?"

His reply made Marinette grit her teeth. She tried to come up with a witty retort, but she was cut off by an exasperated sigh.

"Girls," Miss Bustier groaned. "Please sit down..."

Alya nodded in agreement and took Marinette by the hand, dragging her towards their desk. As they took their seats, Miss Bustier's frown relaxed, her cheerful demeanour returning as she faced the brown-haired boy.

"My name is Alexander." the boy introduced himself. "Alexander Rollo. I just arrived in Paris last week and I'll be staying here for the next few months."

He rolled his neck and picked up his canvas bag at his feet, starting towards the chairs until Miss Bustier called him back.

"Um, Alexander! Don't you think that introduction was a little too brisk?"

Alexander stopped walking, his brow furrowed and jaw set.

"Why don't you take this opportunity to answer some questions from the class?"

Alexander opened his mouth to protest but over half of the class had already raised their hands.

"Excuse me!" Rose asked in a soft, mouse-like voice. "You said you moved here? Where are you from?"

"Not Paris." Alexander answered.

"Yo!" Nino called out. "What's your favourite kind of music? You into DJ raves?"

Once again, Alexander rolled his eyes. "No musicians you'd know and no, I'm not into 'raves'."

"What about sports?" Kim asked, his eyes wide with fascination. "Any exercises you like doing-"

"These questions are exercising my patience." Alexander groaned. "Does that count?"

And finally, Alya stood up, her fingers moving across her phone at a dizzying speed.

"New guy in Paris, huh? Got any juicy info on-"

"Perhaps I was being too subtle..."

Alexander stood up straighter and tucked his hands behind his back, watching the class as if he were a drill sergeant.

"I am not here to make friends, much less try to get along with anyone. While I am at this school, I will do what is expected of me but I will do it my way and with as minimal social interaction as possible."

One could almost feel the temperature drop as Alexander spoke, his piercing eyes narrowing.

"I do not even want to be here. I am here because I have to be. And I will not have this demeaning period of my life made worse by any clique crap or suck-ups trying to play nice."

He glanced at Miss Bustier, the woman shuddering as their eyes met.

"Understood, teacher?"

The coldness of his words steeped the classroom into a stillness, leaving even Miss Bustier at a loss for words.

"...Very well then." the teacher resigned, pushing back a loose strand of her hair. "Well for now, how about you sit up the back next to Nathaniel?"

The tomato-haired Nathaniel looked up from his sketchbook, an uneasy look on his face as he met Alexander's icy eyes.

"...Alright." Alexander sighed. Ignoring Nathaniel's anxious expression, Alexander slung his knapsack over his shoulder and marched up the aisle between the desks. As he strode past, Marinette felt Alexander's steely gaze upon her, an iciness that compelled her to avert her eyes elsewhere. Her bluebell eyes darted across every chair, dewy window pane and oblivious person in the room, but they eventually found their way back to Alexander again, drawn in by the bracelet on his right wrist.

It wasn't a particularly flamboyant piece of jewellery, a simple silver band with a thin white cord wound around the middle, but there was something eerily familiar about it-

A sharp pain shot through Marinette's skull, causing her to jolt in her chair and wince and clamp her hands to her head. Her reaction went mostly unnoticed by the class, except for Alya, who glanced at her friend worriedly.

Are you okay? The girl's eyes seemed to ask.

Marinette simply giggled awkwardly, feigning embarrassment as the last of the pain subsided. But as it ebbed away, a numbing sensation began to gnaw at her ears, just beneath her Miraculous earrings.

An icy hand squeezed Marinette's heart. Something wasn't right.

Normally, Marinette could feel some kind of warmth or tingle of energy from the earrings, even in their dormant state. But as her fingers caressed their metallic, domed surfaces, Marinette couldn't feel anything from them. No warmth, no buzz nor even a sliver of Tikki's power - just empty metal shapes pinned to her ears.

The cold feeling in her heart intensifying, Marinette took a deep breath and looked towards the back of the class, her breath hitching in her throat when her eyes fell upon Alexander.

He was staring at her.

Marinette felt her lungs and heart constrict as she locked eyes with the boy, caught on the receiving end of perhaps the most frightening sensation she had felt in her life.

Alexander's eyes were even darker than before, burning with a stalwart, black fire that seemed ready to set Marinette ablaze, if the constricting coldness didn't choke the life from her first.

The way he looked at her, the way that cold darkness seemed to sink into her soul, like the teeth of a vicious predator.

They locked eyes for a few short, but unbearable seconds before Alexander suddenly looked up, watching as Miss Bustier wrapped up the remainder of homeroom.

Marinette finally looked away as well, but the effect of Alexander's gaze lingered. She almost couldn't believe it; the sheer hatred and malice in his eyes. Was he the reason for the coldness she felt in her ears? Why the Miraculous felt so empty?

Oh, get a grip, Marinette!

he chided herself for thinking like that, for entertaining such a silly thought. How could a stare affect a Miraculous or a person like that? Alexander might have seemed like a cold person, but surely that's not all it would take?

And yet, the feeling in her heart persisted, the bluenette hugging her arms around herself.

Those eyes. They were almost like...an animal.

And after what seemed like an eternity in a frigid purgatory, the bell finally rang.

- END OF CHAPTER ONE -

(My first time posting a fanfic to Tumblr. Please leave feedback if you read to the end?) 😊

#miraculous ladybug #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Tikki #ladybug #Adrien Agreste #plagg #cat noir #chat noir #carapace #rena rouge #viperion #Luka Couffaine #Lukanette #Adrienette #LadyNoir #Marichat #Ladrien #Thomas Astruc #Jeremy Zag #miraculous fanfic #miraculous oc #fanfiction #LOUP GRIS

[ruiyuki-archives]

Star Tear AU - Momo ver.

This is an AU I wrote on the todomomo discord server eons ago. Anything posted to this blog will be transcripts of old original work and not really edited, save for formatting. I have no guarantees if I will ever finish these AUs either so these will only be kept as an archive.

Original transcript posted to tdmm discord: Aug 2020

Momo ver. Alternate timeline: Todo ver. Part 1 || Todo ver. Part 2 || Todo ver. Part 3

ALRIGHT YALL NEW TROPE ALERT ➡ STAR TEAR DISEASE

Basically the cousin of Hanahaki Disease. Unrequited love causes a person to cry star tears accompanied by the sound of twinkling and if the feelings are not returned said person goes colour blind

And I just !!!!

tdmm AU where Momo gets star tear disease and the first time she cries in front of Todo after the exam with Aizawa she cries star tears???

And she doesn’t know what it means and neither does Todo but maybe Aizawa does and recognizes what it means but idk

So Momo goes on this whole literary quest to research what it means. And Todo volunteers to help bc umm?? Even the pressure point in her foot doesnt stop this phenomenon so he wants to figure it out too

And along the way they dig through the UA library on study dates and dig through the bookstores and dig through the interwebs together

Spending more and more time together, Momo starts to realize she’s feeling something. that is until one night she finds it on the web what star tears mean

Its her unrequited love for Todoroki

And her realizing this just makes it w or s e

Bc the consequence of not having her feelings returned means she goes colour blind

Or you know what, im just gonna alter it and make it more angst. She goes fully blind, ya lets do that.

SO MOMO

Poor bby is grappling with this realization and coming to terms with it all on her own; recognizing that if she doesnt let Todo know after all this time spent together she’s come to love him....... she'll go blind

But ofc its Momo... poor bby selfless Momo....

Her feelings and her own and not a responsibility of Todo to like her back and cure her of this disease so there is NO WAY she’s gonna burden him with that

Plus they’re both too busy tryna be heroes and shouldn’t have this as a distraction

So ofc Momo's not gonna tell Todo

And she cries and cries even more star tears that twinkle in fill her room in the dark like galaxies in the sky.

Its really beautiful.

She'll accept that she'll go blind never to see the face of her loved ones again. Her parents. Her friends....... Todoroki.

And that potentially she might have to give up her dream of being a hero if the blindness compromises it.

But she'll accept that.

The next day she wakes up and cant see a colour

And slowly it begins.......

She loses green first. Its hard to distinguish green from yellow

Then yellow goes

Then orange

Then one by one colour fades over weeks and weeks

Ofc shes not telling anyone.

She fakes it in class, during hero training, during her internship

That when Ochako and Hagakure asks "isnt the colour dress cute?" holding up a lovely chartreus and gold dress, she lies and says yes even though she sees gray

Which breaks her even more

And so she cries alone at night some more star tears

And it keeps going

All the while Todo noticing from beside his desk......

something is off...

But he doesnt ask her. Not yet.

Because after weeks of spending time with her researching, he believes they’re close enough that she'll share with him what’s going on

He didnt question it when she told him "its ok Todoroki san, we can stop researching"

"Did you figure it out?"

"Yes. Its nothing to be concerned about anymore"

He doesnt question it when he notices her in the morning at breakfast,,, the little speckles of star dust glimmering at the corner of her eyes

And he doesnt question himself either when he starts to think the twinkling tears she cries when she thinks she is alone,, makes her look really beautiful

Its those some odd moments when he passes the classrooms on the way back to the dorms at sunset that he sees her alone by the window,, looking out,, as the sun paints the sky reds pinks yellows and oranges,,, that she stares out and star tears fall from her eyes, twinkling in the setting light

And he thinks to himself that she is really beautiful,, a shadow against the setting sun

So he watches and thinks some more

That shes beautiful even without the sunset. Beautiful in class answering the hardest question. Beautiful in battle when her tactics win over her opponent. Beautiful studying when he notices her little motions when shes concentrating.

But while Todo thinks that to himself, Momo cries. Little star tears in her eyes.

She cant see the sunset anymore.

.

.

.

He doesnt think its serious when she tells him to disregard the matter

But when he happens to run into her when visiting his mom at the hospital, and she’s on her way out from the optometry & ophthamology department to get this whole eye thing checked out, thats when he realizes

Oh. This is serious.

And he starts trying to get her to talk but she’s being all avoidy and tight lipped

Cuz from Momo’s doctors’ appointment, the doc told her there’s no cure unless she gets over the feelings herself or her feelings are returned

And really now, she still thinks its her burden to bare not his

So logically the only thing she thinks she can do to slow down the blindness from the tears is to shut down her feelings for him. Put them in a box. And become cold.

Todoroki hates that.

That she’s being avoidant and cold when he knows something is wrong and wants to help her but she is being so not Momo anymore

He wants the kind, loving, selfless, pure hearted, strong Momo he's grown to learn and respect and know back

And that’s when he realizes he really cares for her

Not just admiring her beauty. Or respecting her battle instincts and leadership

That he realizes he really likes her

Perhaps even loves her.

So thats that.

Until its mission time.

Cuz its not angst until someone gets hurt and the other realizes they’ve been keeping a secret all this time sooooooooo

Smth smth UA kids vs a new baddie or minor villian or idk it could be dabi for all i want bc i put dabi in everything lmaooo

But who they’re fighting is not important

The important part is tdmm are on the same team

Maybe deployed as partners even

And theyre fighting back to back against some grunts

And at this point Todo is frustrated he’s not getting through to Momo just after he shook his own world realizing he likes her

And Momo's being all cold but civil and she is completely colour blind.

Theres no undoing the damage in her eyes. She can see in muted muddy tones and grayscale.

So for plot convenience lets say the villain has some kinda colour distortion quirk that mixes up the perception of colour from the true colour in a form of illusion or smth idk

So when the grunts in all black uniform end up attacking them, to Todo and Momo, one looks dressed in red, another in green, others in blues yellows purples

tdmm do pretty well fending them off until Todo notices 3 of them in blue green and purple about to attack Momo at once

And she’s ready to fend them off but doesnt notice a 4th one in red coming in for a swift sneak atttack right behind the green one

But Todo does notice

And he shouts

"YAOYOROZU THE RED ONE"

But she cant tell

And the knife lands deep in her shoulder

And Todo burns the rest to a crisp

You can imagine what the conversation is in the aftermath, when Momo has her shoulder bandaged up and Todo tending his own wounds

"Yaoyorozu.. please be honest with me. Why didnt you avoid the red one when I shouted?"

Because, he knows, that the heroine Creati he's trained along side with for so long would have been able to anticipate the grunts assault

That she would have expected a sneak attack amidst a simultaneous attack

But the fact that she didnt. Couldnt. Avoid it definitely means shes been handicapped

And Momo, upon being asked, hurt and tired from their battle finally relents

She cant lie to him any longer.

"It was because... i couldnt tell. I couldnt distinguish their colours. I havent been able to for a few weeks now.... I've..."

A star tear falls from her eyes.

"I've lost my colour vision Todoroki-san"

Tiny galaxies fall from her eyes as she finally explains to him what these tears are

And Todo is speechless as she talks, only able to hear the twinkles against her words broken against sniffles and hiccups

And when sh’es said all she knows - that this is a disease that will turn her blind, that there is no cure and it comes as a consequence of loving someone who doesnt love you back, that she doesnt want to burden the person she loves with her responsibility, that she has been trying bury her feelings to save herself ...

He finally asks: "Who is it.  Tell me who it is that you love Yaoyorozu"

.

.

.

.

"You. Its you Todoroki-san"

And his heart broke.

He pulls her into a hug,, so tight she thinks she might be crushed

And its his turn to cry against her

Because all this time she was doing this for him

"Im sorry Momo. Im so sorry. You dont have to suffer alone anymore. Because we're partners, long before I even realized it"

"Eh?"

He looks into her eyes, unwavering

"Im in love you too."

The tears that fall from her next are no long starlight.

Epilogue/trivia:

Momo loses her colour vision following the colour wheel starting with green ➡ yellow, orange, red, etc until blue is last to go

Shes most heartbroken about losing red and blue cuz those are the colours she associates with Todo (when she cant see the sunset anymore its when she realizes she lost red and that’s why she’s crying)

Since the damage of the disease cant be restored, she has to deal with greyscale vision for some years

Eventually Eri rewinds it for her once Eri can control her power

but for those some years Momo is so busy!! cuz she goes into genius mode and starts creating (and probably working with Hatsume) vision impairment accessibility tools? Yes

and bc I have an unhealthy obsession with the todofam, Natsuo probably ends up getting a case of the disease for some odd reason if he ever broke up with his gf and Todo upon hearing it is like NO GO TELL HER PLS

He’s not gonna let anyone else on the other end feel the guilt that he did for Momo

> archives masterpost

#todomomo #todoroki shouto #momo yaoyorozu #tdmm star tear au #ruiyukis unfinished aus #sorry not sorry #for spamming the tag #this ones my baby #im so attached to it #much like tdmm learning to love #angst with a happy ending #oops heres a bandaid for your heart

[popcorn-for-dinner]

I don’t want to wait for my dad to die, to cry.

If my dad died today, what would I say? What would I wish I had said?

Sat in the darkness of my movie theatre, as Alan Silvestri’s sombre score begins to swell, I can feel my neighbours on the brink of breaking down- some had already been weeping for a solid five minutes. Then, as if to break those of us still holding it together, Tony Stark’s pre-recorded hologram gets up from his seat, stares directly at his wife and daughter and proclaims “I love you 3000”.  

All I could think about at this point was how far he (Tony not “Iron Man”) had come and how rich that journey had been. As if to buttress my point, a minute later, Tony’s memorial floats across the lake, adorned with his first arc reactor- a call back to his first appearance in this sprawling cinematic universe. When Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) had gifted it to him in Iron Man 1, she had inscribed on it “Proof that Tony Stark has a heart”.

Boy, did he!

In the lead up to last year’s Avengers: Infinity War, I discussed the paternal relationships portrayed in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (coincidentally, Infinity War is a film in which a father throws the daughter he loves off a cliff, to her death. Father issues? What Father issues?). Some criticisms levied against that piece were that it was too long and bloated. So, my response? A sequel, naturally.

With that article, I wanted to highlight that we all have our different parental issues- even superheroes have them! These issues were not peculiar to us individually. Naturally, we might feel this way but they were so commonplace in fact, that the biggest franchise in the world was examining them in their billion-dollar entries.  

What I had not thought about though, was what was next? I had not fully considered what happens after you acknowledge your issues. What do you do next, is it important to do anything, can I (please) just revert to auto-pilot? In a cruel twist of art imitating life, I had failed to consider the aftermath, because I had not yet reached that point of “after”. How could I write about a journey I had not yet taken?

Which brings us to here and now. During (yes, during) Avengers: Endgame, I began to see just how unfinished my writing was and as I continued to mull the themes over, this spiritual sequel began to take shape. I also noticed that just as Marvel had posed the question for my first article, they had also provided the answer for my follow up. So, because I am nothing if not consistent (read: one-dimensional), Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) will once again serve, one last time, as both muse and avatar as I discuss the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s (MCU) portrayal of healing during the aftermath. 

Healing can only begin when you confront your shit.

Deflection is easy. Deflection is safe. However, the true “after”- the needed healing, can only begin when we’ve been able to acknowledge and confront the issues.  

Tony Stark had a very tumultuous relationship with his father. Slowly, over the course of the earlier MCU instalments, we are given an idea of how this relationship grew from unrequited admiration/attention in Tony’s adolescence to estrangement and eventual resentment. After spending his childhood with a distant father and being “shipped off” to boarding school at the earliest convenience, Tony has no reason to believe that his father even likes him, much less loves or respects. This lack (and subconscious search) of validation would end up guiding Tony’s actions in his adulthood, both the applaudable and the self-destructive.

In Iron Man 2, Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) gives Tony some of his father’s research which he had left specifically for him. It is in those research documents that he finally finds the validation he had been searching for his entire life- that direct vote of confidence from his father. In this direct-to-video address, Howard Stark (John Slattery) expresses belief in his son’s untapped potential while also, subtly, explaining the reasoning behind some of his actions.  

This is a rare feat. Many aren’t afforded that kind of insight into their parent’s thinking while they are alive much less decades after they’ve died. Tony was able to have a real confrontation with his past and as a result, the issues it had borne.  

As a side note, it is important to address that while it may be the method being discussed, this “direct confrontation” is not the only way to begin our healing. What is universal though, is the domino effect any meaningful confrontation can have. In Tony’s case, the closure this brings finally helps him get rid of the chip on his shoulder and kickstart his own healing process- a process we see begin halfway through Iron Man 2 and finally come to a (satisfying) conclusion in Avengers: Endgame.

Much like his tech, Tony Stark was always evolving, improving. From that moment in the cave in Iron Man 1 when he decided to be a better person, he was constantly on a path of self- improvement and in Iron Man 2, his relationship with his father was added to the checklist. With the earlier detailed confrontation, he was provided with some much-needed clarity. It was almost as if, immediately, in the back of his head, the emotional cogs began to move smoothly after years of disharmony. With the chip off his shoulder, things seemed easier. Slowly that paternal toxicity in him began to dissipate. He was no longer relying on the crutches he once had, and the healing truly began.

What we would then witness was that, with every succeeding movie, a more “fatherly” side of Tony began to appear. His healing process wasn’t explicit or in your face, he just slowly became better.  

Tony, of course, spends a large portion of 2013’s Iron Man 3 with a 12-year-old kid (Ty Simpkins) in a father-son, buddy cop relationship but it wasn’t until he recruited a teenage Peter Parker (Tom Holland) in Captain America: Civil War that we would see just how far he had come. Crucially, this doesn’t happen until Tony reaches a viable, satisfactory, conclusion to his arc with his father.

Ready or not, you have to move on with your life.

Time isn’t going to wait for you. Eventually, life is going to catch up with you. So, you need to start the healing process as soon as you can because it’s a life-long mission.

Tony Stark’s introduction in 2016’s Captain America: Civil War is during an augmented reality session. This particular session is set on the final day he sees his parents, the day they die. Towards the end, his mum breaks the fourth wall of the memory and implores young Tony to say something to his father because it’s the last time he will see them. He doesn’t argue or deflect, he isn’t sarcastic, instead he says to Howard, honestly, “I love you, Dad” and informs his mother that he knows “he (his father) did the best he could”.  

Sure, Tony engineered the situation, but that’s more growth than most of us experience. The silent healing at the back of his psyche had now got Tony to a position where he was comfortable telling his father he loved him and acknowledging that he probably did the best he could, mistakes and all. He didn’t say this because he felt it was expected of him but rather because he had got to a point where he truly believed it. Yes, his (real) father couldn’t hear him but he could say it. He could make this admission to himself.

For his healing, this was a conclusion he needed to reach before being able to successfully move on with his life. In the larger picture of the MCU’s story, this was an admission he had to make to be effective in the two very important relationships that were about to occur in his life- the first being with a certain precocious teenager from Queens.  

After enlisting Peter Parker, Tony assumes guardianship over him. Peter, also trying to fill that Uncle Ben shaped hole in his life is eager to impress “Mr Stark” and receive his validation- not unlike a young Tony trying to impress his father. Having done the necessary healing, Tony is now in a place where he can be that father figure to Peter. He now understands not only, how it feels to be the son of a distant father but also the reasoning behind the actions that might have made his father come across as distant.  

Knowing that life is never going to wait for us, it is incumbent on us to be serious about our healing. Because without it, we’ll just step back into life, into relationships, with the same hurt, ignorance, pride that will only serve to continue the wheel.  Like Tony in the cave, we need to make a decision to do better, be better.  

Don’t wait, cry now.

What was most indicative of Tony’s healing, was his self-awareness. At one point during an argument with Peter, Tony catches himself and mutters “Gosh, I sound just like my dad”. It’s the type of self-awareness that only comes as a result of doing the healing work.  

Like Tony, many of us take too long to confront the complexities in our parental relationships. We now find, that at this late stage, we are wistful for the relationship that could have been. We mourn the vulnerability that was skipped on, the laughs that were not shared, the emotions that were not laid bare, the cries that never were.    

This is why Tony’s augmented reality session was always important. It was his way of creating a model reality where he confronted his issues in time to have a good relationship with his dad, if only for just a second. It provided him with the opportunity to finally let go of his baggage and honestly and wholeheartedly appreciate his father, knowing “he did the best he could”.

With the results of his private healing in tow, he is now able to be a good surrogate father to Peter and real father to Morgan (Alexandra Rabe). We see that, to Morgan, Tony is everything he wished his dad was to him- affectionate, understanding, present. It may seem obvious that he would be the father he wished his father was but as we tend to see, that is rarely the case. What is more common though, is a continuous perpetuation of the cycle. Of course, it isn’t always intentional but without proper attention to the emotional scars, hurt kids become hurt adults who, via releasing their pent-up pain, raise hurt kids. Spokes on a wheel.  

Perhaps because of how perfect and apparent a conclusion the AR session was to the arc, I found the time travel sequence in Avengers: Endgame very surprising and equally impactful. Tony, after all he’s been through, all he’s learnt, is now face to face with his father. This isn’t a home video or a billion-dollar augmented reality experiment, it’s the real deal.

The Tony from a decade prior might have been sarcastic, snarky, deflective. But not this one. Not this Tony who knows his dad’s real feelings and motivations. Not this Tony who’s done all his healing work, who’s lost his adopted son and fathered a daughter. No, this Tony is honest, raw, emotional, thankful even.  He is appreciative of the life he’s had. He understands what his father is going through and will go through. He is (finally) at peace with the issues that arose because of both he and his father’s insecurities, and willingly accepts all he has become because of them.

And is that not the goal? To be able to reach a point where we can now look into their eyes and understand where they are coming from. To be at peace with all that we are and all that they were/are. To be able to finally accept and understand the importance of all the rough edges in creating us as rounded human beings. It should be the aim but like any other desired goal it requires work to get there. Sometimes even, unpleasant work.  

As Tony exemplified, everyone (even seemingly irredeemable billionaire, playboy, philanthropists) deserves to confront and conquer their issues and mend a tense relationship. While it will be tough, I write this with the hope that I have inspired someone to begin their own healing process. While yours is most likely not going to involve a billion-dollar AR experiment or time travel, you have the power to begin today.

It is admittedly easier for some than it is for others but like every other thing, it begins with starting. So, pick up a phone, send an e-mail, book an appointment or if you want, just start by yourself, in your head. Your confrontation can take any and many forms and I am ill-equipped to tell you what is best for you. There’s no manual on how to do it, what I have learnt though, is that the only important thing is that you start.  

“I thought my dad was tough on me, but now looking back, I just remember the good stuff” 

                                                                           -Tony Stark, Avengers: Endgame

Here’s to us, eventually, remembering only the good stuff.

Bankole Imoukhuede

@banky_I

#tony stark #avengers endgame #iron man #howard stark #robert downey jr #i love you 3000 #dads #spiderman #peter parker #tom holland #morgan stark #avengers

[http-peachjimin]

Unrequited

10: 2! 3!

"You little ladies will make us good profit soon enough, aren't you happy?" One of the men cooed throwing us into yet another dark space. You went from the van to this dark facility and into one of many rooms it had.

Thrown in with many other squirming, helpless, bodies.

It was cold and you were already starting to come down with a cough.

We'll be auctioned off tomorrow. You won't be in Seoul, no one will be able to come for you. Shitty. This is just shitty, beyond shitty. Even if you didn't die, you'd be in some dirty old man's captivity. You didn't even want to do that with Cheol-min let alone a perverted stranger. Did you deserve this? You hadn't done something so bad to be sold like a... a sex slave! Silently whimpering on the cold floor, sniffling every so often, no other sounds could be heard besides the small noises you made and your seller's heavy boots in passing.

Yet all of a sudden, the silence broke.

And it was almost like you dunked your head under water and once you pulled it back out you heard major noise.

Glass being broken, 10, 15, maybe even 20 new feet scattering across the ground.

"We need to find where they are, go, go, go!"

You already knew what has happening, and you were elated to say the least.

All the other women stayed silent, they must have had their spirits broken, they'd all given up hope. Not you.

"HELP!!!"

Your voice rang throughout the silent cabin and all of a sudden the others started joining, you influencing them to try again.

The door flung open and for the first time in two days light flooded your vision, blinding you.

"There are more in here!"

Tons of men rushed in and helped all of you too your feet, weak from lack of feeding.

The officer helping you looked at your face as you went toward the light, escaping your captivation.

"You're Y/N right?" He asked.

You nodded, coughing a bit afterwards. You knew your voice was hoarse so you didn't want to speak and ruin his ears.

"Taejun, we found her, call Park Jimin!" He stated to another man.

You couldn't help but perk up and speak.

"J-Jimin...?" You croaked.

"It's okay hun, rest your voice. Jimin called as soon as you went missing. He was the reason why we found this place. Because we were looking for you."

You teared up. What else could you expect from such a sweet boy who's been with you through thick and thin?

"Aww... Come on let's get you home." He said.

You shook your head.

"No? Where do you wanna go?"

"C-could you take me to Jimin's house?" The man chuckled and nodded.

You were so happy and excited to see him, be home in his arms. The officer pulled up to the familiar house and you ran to hug the policeman in tears. He chuckled and said it was just his job. You ran to Jimin's doorstep and rang the doorbell. It took a moment for him to come seeing that it was 1 in the morning. He yawned and cracked his door opened, only to be tackled to the ground.

"JIMIN!!!" You cried.

"Y-Y/N?!"

The cop smiled to himself and drove off, knowing you were safe.

"Oh my god! You're okay!!! You're okay!!!!" Jimin sobbed happily.

"I missed you so much! I was so scared! T-they were gonna auction us off and I didn't know if I'd see you again!!!" You cried into his shoulder.

"It's okay sweetheart, you're safe now. I got you. I won't let anything happen anymore."

It’s okay come on when I say one two three forget it

"I'm sorry for running off! I should have listened to you!!" You bawled.

"Shh.... It's alright. Everything is over now."

Erase all sad memories hold my hand and smile

"I'm so glad you're alright. No one will ever put you in harm's way again when you're with me, I promise." He smiled.

"Thank you. I should have known you'd be there for me." You mumbled against his chest.

"You had doubts?"

"Not exactly. I just didn't know if you would come on time. I should have never thought otherwise about my Jiminie." You giggled.

Then your laughter died down. The tension in the room grew and you had an urge to celebrate your reunion with a kiss from your favourite man. It was so bad. So wrong, but why did you gravitate so much towards it. Before you even knew it your lips were pressed against his in a soft joyful kiss.

You were happy to be home, Jimin was home to you. And that's all you needed. His arm snaked up your body and gripped the baby hairs at the the back of your neck urging you closer to him.

And then your rational thoughts came back.

Stop this. He isn't yours. You're being a homewrecker. Leave him be.

More and more thoughts were consuming you and you knew they were true. How dare you do something like this, tempt him into something like that?

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I shouldn't-"

Jimin didn't let you finish, pulling you into an even deeper kiss, feeling his tongue curl against yours.

"J-Jimin, I-"

"God, Y/N I'm sorry I-I don't know what happened."

You finally got off the floor and dusted yourself off.

"It's fine... J-Jimin... Do you have any feelings for m-me?" You asked hopefully.

Maybe it wasn't just lust and he really did care.

But Jimin, afraid of rejection and knowing you were still in la relationship said:

"No. Of course not I just... I don't know. I'm sorry."

You were disappointed. You'd break up with Cheol-min immediately if you had Jimin. You realized this wasn't just some crush. You had slowly fallen in love with your best friend. How could you be so stupid. This whole thing was stupid.

You wanted to speak again but you began coughing instead. You tried to clear your throat but nothing seemed to work.

"Yah, You okay?" Jimin asked stepping closer to you.

You were still embarrassed so you kept your head down.

"Hey, chin up, look at me."

You did what he had asked you, and he pressed his palm to your forehead in concern.

"You're a bit hot. Do you feel okay?" Jimin questioned continuing to feel around your flushed face.

"I-I'm okay, my throat is just a little scratchy. I'll be fine." You said as you sneezed.

"No... I think you're coming down with something. Come on let me warm you up."

He sat you on the couch wrapped in a heated blanket and prepared some cold medicine and hot tea.

"S-so how's prom going? What is your tux like?" You questioned him.

"It's good. Not the colors I wanted but as long as Jiae is happy I'm okay." He replied.

"That's good. It's only two days away and I still haven't got a dress..." You mumbled.

"What?! The fuck have you been doing?" He chuckled from the kitchen.

"I've only got 30 dollars so it's been hard to find something for that price. And Cheol-min is either too... inebriated or lazy to come out and shop with me. I have no idea what I'm gonna do. I have to pick up Minnie's tux from the dry cleaners too..." You stressed coughing away your scratchy throat afterwards.

"What you need is to get better. I can already tell you're starting to get sick. Maybe you should skip out on prom?" He suggested.

"Hell no. I've already paid 60 bucks for a ticket. Plus those are potential memories I can never get back." You said.

"Do you really wanna make memories with that asshole?" Jimin questioned handing you the bitter medicine.

You chose to ignore his question and quickly downed the medicine like a shot and reached for the tea afterwards.

Jimin chuckled at your disgusted face and handed you the cup.

“Be careful It’s hot.” He warned.

You slowed your roll and sipped quietly.

“Why do you only have 30 dollars to spend on a dress?” He brought up the conversation again smoothly but to be honest, Jimin was pissed. He already guessed that jackass Cheol-min had given you a ridiculous budget, he just wanted to see if he was right.

“Oh, Minnie said that he didn’t have money to give me.” You replied innocently.

“If he spent less money on alcohol and cigarettes maybe he’d have some money in his dumbass pocket for your dress. This is stupid.” The boy pulled out four twenties and handed them to you.

Jimin always carried cash and rarely used his card.

“Go get yourself an actually decent dress. Your boyfriend needs to google the price of normal prom dresses.” He growled.

“Jimin, I appreciate it but you don’t have to-”

“I wanted to. But let’s go to bed. Poor little girl is still having the sniffles...” He chuckled, placing a peck on your forehead and picking you up.

He carried you to his bed placing you gently under the covers.

“You treat me too well...” You yawned as he got into bed next to you.

“You deserve all of it, sweetheart. Goodnight.” He said quietly.

After everything that happened, you hardly even remembered it. Because you were happy. You were home.

[discord-of-laughter]

The OC challenge! - Phase 2 & 3

Phase 2 – Getting to know them

Who gets angry-drunk?

Cardia – don’t get her drunk or she will get fierce and you have to stop her from stumbling her way to revenge… also it would be underaged drinking!

Gabriele – actually turns into a reckless drunk but is super easy to anger – handle with care

Loreley – honestly just don’t, at first she’s just grumpy but give her more and she might strip and try to kill someone, preferably all men in the room

Lou – everything he hates about staying in control so much might bubble up but since his powers don’t subside just because of alcohol he becomes extremely dangerous + underaged drinking!

Phionee – you don’t want that. Will arm wrestle and just wrestle everybody and cause havoc also becomes very dominant and might just drag a poor soul to her quarter… that only happened twice and to the same “poor soul” but he looked pretty beaten up the next morning

Vanessa – it takes a while for her to get drunk… but then you better be ready to listen to her lashing out about injustice in the world and if someone is present who has done something bad she’d go and punch him/her… gets a bit better with age and when staying home with her partner but towards the end of the night of her wedding things were close to escalate

Who gets sad-drunk?

Bel – want to have a sobbing demon on your shoulder, get her drunk but be prepared to end up broke because of how much it takes to get her there

Damian – there’s only a short time window between him being drunk enough and passing out to unlock his sad past

Jennifer – that might correlate with the fact that she only gets drunk when someone died to begin with… once she’s done crying though she gets clingy and sweet and wants to slow dance, but will cry again if you don’t comply

Rachel – there has happened a lot to cry about in her life, be nice to her

Skadi – gets all delicate and honest and it is heart-breaking, but dude you can’t afford to get her drunk anyway

Mariana – has a lot of insecurity bottled up and will easily cry if given a reason for it… if not expect some dancing on the counter and less clothes because she feels hot

Who gets happy-drunk?

Allete – ever wanted to hear a femme fatal/female agent giggle, get her a bunch of drinks high in alcohol content and have fun

Jo – she gets totally mushy and easy-going, might want to cuddle though and if you don’t comply she’ll turn into a sad-drunk and wail about being lonely

Ophelia – turns into the sweetest girl imaginable when her defence mechanisms are down, super sweet and kind, a bit clingy though and falls asleep quickly

Kayleigh – thinks everything is funny when drunk – can hold more than one or two drinks though – loves the whole world and takes care of any sad-drunk in her proximity

Jason – best drunk to have at a party, becomes open, jovial, wants to sing and is in for pretty much everything that sounds like fun… becomes the heart of the party quickly and keeps it going

Cain – turns very sweet and soft for a very short while and then pukes his heart out – don’t feed the fish(boy)!

[Deicida doesn’t get drunk at all, she hasn’t the physical capacity for it… don’t give her alcohol though enough and she might just fall over + underaged drinking… kind of… well she looks the part.

Aquila just falls asleep when she gets drunk, so it is hard to tell.

Daniel is a wild card… depending on unknown factors it can be either and any of the above.]

How do they interact with a romantic partner?

For Allete flirting and seduction are part of the job and at first she would be the smoothest person in the world… until she notices that she really caught feelings and then everything gets difficult because all those gestures and tricks she always used suddenly seem bland and not enough. Hands shaking, lips quivering, she’s nervous like a little school girl and it would take a while to get her back to ease. After that she would be a surprisingly dotting girlfriend, but she needs reassurance once in a while that her partner can still stand her and her job and the danger.

Bel would be utterly confused by falling in love and therefore would avoid a potential romantic partner at first + is in need of a therapy session to get things cleared up. Love – that is such a human feeling and… and it makes you catch cooties, right? If said partner still wants her… it’ll take a long time to groom this queen of hell into a romantic partner to be taken seriously… and even then she’d be more like a terribly possessive friend.  

Cardia is the kind who would still blush once in a while after getting together and she’s rather shy around a partner only moving on and forward very slowly… emotionally. But she’s rather romantic deep down and would definitely try her best.  

Jo is not made for a relationship and would laugh off any attempts. She’s just not made for it, friends with benefits sure when she’s not on the road. But everything else… not so much. And she wouldn’t open up either, not because of trust issues just because… she can’t imagine any of this for herself… it scares her… much like being too happy does.

Damian would feel guilty for not having kept the person at arm’s length but he is also so happy that sometimes he just cries after his partner fell asleep. He’s completely shaken and torn but would even change his way if that’s what his partner asks for. In a way it’s puppy love because he wants to give them everything he can as long as he still has time for it. He would hate to make them sad by dying and ends up nervous and anxious about it once in a while… but when that isn’t the case he’s a sweet but teasing boyfriend with a thing for small romantic gestures… that don’t cost much… because he’s still broke, but he tries. 

Deicida would be a bit clingy. But mostly because she doesn’t really know what to do with herself… but she knows that being with this person feels good… after it took her ages to realise it. Because she would never think someone could be attracted to her… also there are the doubts if it’s okay and right… what would her bearer think… isn’t this meant to not work out? All of this while there are tons of conflicting feelings… she’d definitely be a mess, but a cute and blushing one. 

Gabriele wouldn’t want to catch the feelings… they make her weak but… it’s so hard to resist when you just want to cuddle up and let your guard down like her. She wants to be protected, she wants to hold hands… and throw terrible pick-up lines around. To flirt and feed each other ice cream and be sweetheart with some rough edges around her partner. But she can’t not now… maybe never… so in the end she’s out to break another heart.  

Jennifer… sweet forehead kisses, a soft hand on a shoulder, slow dancing… just being together in the same room. Inside jokes and anniversaries, she’d be a soft lover and ready to be swept of her feet too but not one for much public display of affection at all.

Ophelia – kiss her in the rain and she’s yours. No but really, she’d be the best worst girlfriend in the world. A criminal who can get utterly lost in love. She would have a hard time believing she makes the same mistake again but just goes with the flow… she knows she wants her partner before they do themself. She’d be the one to come back after a one-night stand, she wouldn’t beg not for someone to love her, but she really craves some affection, sleeping in someone’s arms again, knowing there is someone able to love her.  

The person who caught Aquila’s eye better is prepared to get swept off their feet and spoiled without being ask. She doesn’t fall in love easily, but she falls hard and turns into the perfect and attentive girlfriend or wife people dream about. If she has set her sight on a person her patience is endless and you can be sure… she’d even kill for you.

Kayleigh wouldn’t know what to do with herself. She can’t fall in love… not in her position and yet… here she is… sweet, maybe making jokes because she doesn’t know what else to do. She only knows love from stories but is open to her own version once she got over the initial doubts… but there are still things she even can’t tell a lover… things even a lover isn’t allowed to do. And Kayleigh would really hope they honour those things she can’t tell and those things she can’t let them do.

Loreley is mistrust issues incarnated. She longs to be in love, to be the world of someone… but she’s utterly afraid that things end up the same again. She couldn’t stand being left behind again, last time she killed others and tried to kill herself only to turn into a myth an mythical spirit in the end. She’d also be a kind of clingy person to a point, but really trying to make her romantic partner and herself happy.

Lou – the shyest and sweetest guy you can imagine. Utterly amazed someone actually wants to be with a time bomb like him but eternally thankful. Also master of shy flirting and then not believing it worked or that his target actually noticed it and picked up on it. Total gentleman too. His partner should be prepared to get a second family along with Lou’s love though.

Phionee is a secretive lover but expect passion behind closed doors. She’s also someone who’d turn down playful flirting, even when it’s coming from her romantic partner the very moment things get serious… she just really doesn’t want to blush or mix up private and public things/life.  

Rachel wouldn’t recognise she’s in love until it’s too late. She’d enjoy being close with someone but prefers a relationship with no strings attached. She’s grey-romantic and considering her life and what she considers her duty to be more important than being with someone… though things happen that make her doubt that mindset at least slightly.  

Human Daniel actually was very affectionate and devoted when in love. But the way he is now he’s more of the possessive kind, wanting to selfishly push through his unrequited feelings this time without actually really carrying for the feelings of his target… or targets… he likes to get what he wants now but it’s not quite clear if that would change if his feelings were answered… it would definitely throw him off at the very least though. [Not that he deserves it or could really be changed though.]

Skadi is aromantic and after an affair gone wrong and a divorce she doesn’t expect anything from this concept of love anymore. But with someone she is very close and who understands her pain she would be very considerate and sweet. Life has left her utterly sore though and all she is looking for is someone able to stand how broken she is. Someone who spends nights on the sofa in silence with her and leans on her shoulder, their existence alone a soothing reminder that life will go on. Someone who provides her with some warmth when sleeping next to her. The idea that she could find anything like love or the happiness that comes with it though seems like a ridiculous concept to her.

Mariana has high hopes in love and a deep-seated need to be loved. Her expectations might be a bit over the top considering the reality she lived in. And she also has a tendency to become slightly obsessed with love aka her romantic partner. She’d act like a very sweet romantic though when in a relationship so maybe slightly overbearing. But if you break up with her... you better be ready for consequences. 

Jason doesn’t like to think about romance too much because it makes him realise that he is kind of lonely. Also, he probably wouldn’t believe if anybody he knew would flirt with him, not in his line of work and such. But once someone gets him to believe it, expect him to blush at first before flirting back relentlessly and enjoying himself to no end. He’s not looking for love though.

Vanessa hasn’t been in love ever before. She wouldn’t know what to expect but would love to find someone who cares about her and wouldn’t mind doing the same. She’d be mostly looking for someone who’d be willing to try things out without making everything too awkward, just someone sweet she’d probably end up dotting on a bit.

Cain has the tendency to idealise the people he loves… and then being disappointed by them. He has a fear of being abandoned and rejection and that can lead to a quick mood swing. When in love he is generally difficult to handle, and he knows it. But the reason for it is mostly that he feels everything so very much and strongly. He also has a tendency to show his love with gestures he then plays down when he realises he might embarrass himself… but he knows some things aren’t right with him and he tries to work on all of it + he really means well.

What do they do for fun?

Allete – secretly likes to get high-class food and has a weakness for cheese, she also likes to sit in small, cozy cafés to read… and she is addicted to speed… not the drug, more like fast cars and such.

Bel – found out early on that she loved to lie to people, since then she has started to learn how to tell fortunes, she’s also surprisingly good at finding stuff of all kind and animals love her, so now she’s getting lost pets back… that and polishing her knives and playfully annoying Maze aka each other.

Cardia – likes to make paper flowers, to explore the surrounding area and card games.

Jo – travel, order strawberry milk shakes and get some souvenirs for the kids. Also, coming home and leaving.

Damian – singing and his music, going for a drink or a bunch… and there’s also the yoga course but shhhh don’t tell anybody.

Deicida – still isn’t quite sure what fun is, but she’s learning to “swim” lately and finds it really enjoyable.

Gabriele – she likes listening to music a lot, just watching some movies and tinkering with stuff. Or talking , eating sweets and having fun with her little makeshift family of kids having a hard time being a mutant and anger issues.

Jennifer – Hardly has time for fun since there is so much work to do. But she likes dressing up nicely and eating out, slow dancing... having a beer at a nice bar with someone she likes to talk to and... does falling asleep with her cat on her lap count as fun?

Ophelia – wrecking a little havoc, riding with the wind, training and just hanging out with people she likes or cares about.

Aquila – she likes singing [she seems to be a trained opera contralto], crossword puzzles and finds much joy in the art of photography.

Kayleigh – loves to play pranks to a certain someone, taking care of the artefacts and… pruning plants though that seems to creep out pretty much everyone who ever watched her.

Loreley – likes to go window shopping and generally to take care of her hair as well as getting into a bar in the middle of nowhere and flirting with the other customers.

Lou – he plays the violin [and actually wants to study music], browsing sweet shops for new sweets and generally staying out of trouble… he’s a trouble magnet though and it usually doesn’t work.

Phionee – surprisingly enough she actually likes plants and she also doesn’t mind a bit of action or a nice drink in a rundown bar on some planet.

Rachel – enjoys being on the road and sleeping while someone else is driving and she always enjoyed her job and figuring out new spells.

Daniel – a stiff drink, a few games with Rachel by his side, the wind in his face, he doesn’t ask for much, but he always liked to play silly computer games while Rachel figures out a new spell now his fun is more of the sadistic and torture kind… or tempting people to do the wrong thing.

Skadi – hunting, having warm tea with someone, ice skating, having someone with a nice voice read to her.

Mariana – dreaming and exploring the dreams of others, also hunting for the perfect cup of coffee.

Jason – training, having a beer after work, getting to know new jokes, there is not much time for fun stuff when he’s doing his job right though.

Vanessa – playing with her pet, trying her hand at baking and since she’s a half-muggle, watching movies.

Cain – training [forgetting all trouble by powering himself out], bathing or swimming aka just chilling in a lot of water, cooking.

Do they like/want kids?

Allete: maybe and not so much, but kids seem to like her.

Bel: hahaha no… and… well they are so gullible that’s nice.

Cardia: yes eventually and… but is kind of awkward around kids.

Jo: no… but wouldn’t say no if one was on the way because she actually adores kids.

Damian: isn’t entirely sure he doesn’t have one already… might want one and is actually absolutely brilliant with kids against what everybody might expect.

Deicida: is pretty sure kids are out of questions, doesn’t know how to deal with humans and kids are even worse than grown-ups or teenagers.

Gabriele: Not for now though she has nothing against kids per se.

Jennifer: Yes she likes kids, but is probably too old to have one of her own by now, wouldn’t have minded being a mother though… but her work seemed more important.

Ophelia: Doesn’t want to think about having kids but gets along just fine with them because they think she is interesting and a bit scary.

Aquila: With the right partner she might think about it… doesn’t get along too well with kids though and finds them mostly annoying.

Kayleigh: Want? Yes… but not biological kids… that seems like a bad idea but one day she might just go and open an orphanage for real, who knows.

Loreley: no… in the past maybe but not anymore and kids tend to not take her seriously and anger her.

Lou: Oh hell yes! Eventually though not right now. He has a big loving family and wants to carry on the tradition, besides kids totally adore him, he’s still working on the being a reasonable adult part though.

Phionee: She feels like she has a kid and she loves him very much even though she’s his adoptive mother at best, more like aunt Phionee, but that doesn’t matter… also there are others that are something like kids to her but only one is still alive… she considers him to be a second son.

Rachel: She’s not found of the though of having a kid for a bunch of different reasons. Besides kids are really annoying and she doesn’t know how to handle them.

Daniel: Before certain events he would have loved to have kids, two or more and was really enthusiastic and patient when interacting with them… but since then things have changed… he still wouldn’t mind having a heir for the Weston Family though.

Skadi: In a way she would want a family of her own… but she is afraid what mixing her race with humans could lead to… she wouldn’t dare, so instead she treats the two teenagers that more or less suddenly appeared in her life kind of motherly… or at least she – who didn’t have a mother she remembers – tries.

Mariana: Maybe… she was a teacher after all… but she also learned how bad the kids can turn out to be, so… maybe, an accident would be a happy accident though and she might end up finally having someone loving her as much as she thinks she deserves it.

Jason: He’s not sure… there just wasn’t a person he wanted to have kids with or raise some with, so he never really thought about it. And he doesn’t have much contact with kids in general either, so he really isn’t sure.

Vanessa: Maybe in the future and with the right person by her side… sure then she’d like to have two kids but that might change until she’s older + she’d need a husband who is good with kids because she isn’t exactly.

Cain: He’s a bit awkward around kids but usually they find him kind of interesting. He doesn’t really want some of his own… but if the right person begged him he’d probably give in and once the kid is there he’d definitely do everything to be a good father.

Do they own pets (if so, what kind?)

No: Cardia, Jo, Damian, Gabriele, Ophelia, Loreley, Lou, Phionee, Rachel, Mariana

Allete has a pretty ragdoll cat uncreatively called “Minette”.

Bel has… a lot of familiars of all kinds.

Deicida has two tiny fish in a huge bowl she adores very much, their names are “Diana & Steve”.

Jennifer has a huge, moody main coon cat called… I wish I was kidding “Lancelot”.

Aquila has gotten herself a parrot much to the dismay of everybody around her but “Shirly” is a really good girl.

Kayleigh has a pet since the magical realm animal incident… she has named the thing “FuFu” but it hates her… so it isn’t actually very much her pet but more or less Wong’s who is better at handling the little rascal.

Skadi did have three wolfhounds while she lived alone in the wilderness, but then S.H.I.E.L.D. showed up and she had to leave them behind… those three know how to make it though.

Jason actually has a turtle his neighbours take care of when he isn’t there. Its name is officially “James Lettuce III.” It’s also his first turtle as should be mentioned.

Vanessa has a pet snake she smuggled into the school, no one has found “Linda” so far, so all is good.

Cain has a bunch of water animals responding to his call that live in front of and under the former boat house he lives in. They aren’t really pets but on the pro side he doesn’t have to take much care of them either.

How do they handle pain/sadness?

Allete: With a blank mask of apparent indifference, but probably already plans to destroy or kill someone. But if she really trusts someone she might admit her pain/sadness.

Bel: Little pain/sadness is met with apathy all the way. Major pain/sadness on the other hand with over the top anger, tears out of rage and… someone will definitely end up dead, so that she can feel better about it.

Cardia: Tears. She knows it’s embarrassing but she probably wouldn’t be able to hold back tears. At least initially and as long as she’s alone or someone is present that she trusts. If only people that she doesn’t trust are around… she’d bit her lips bloody instead in an effort not to cry.

Jo: She’d flee. Just get away… just ignore it, leave it behind until she feels better and no longer like crying. Jo is the kind of person who’d cry in the car with the music at high volume and drive, drive, drive until she feels better.

Damian: He is used to it. There is no point in crying, so he wouldn’t and just shrugs it off. Damian is the type to only cry out of happiness and avoids things and people that hurt him or make him sad.

Deicida: With speechlessness. She can’t even grasp what was done to her or why in an extreme case silent tears stain her cheeks. She’d just be in a shock and probably later cursing Hephaestus name.  

Gabriele: You think you know what an ice queen would be like? You have no idea of how cold Gabriele could get if you hurt her… calculating, merciless and cruel she would be ready to rip someone’s heart out…no… to have someone do it for her watching without the slightest hint of guilt.

Jennifer: She would act like nothing happened… but the moment her job allows it, she orders pasta gorgonzola – her comfort food –, gets a bottle of whiskey all for herself and then cries into both.  

Ophelia: If you hurt her you better prepare to die on the spot. Because she will lash out with utter aggression… except when it is a person she loves… then she just falls silent and leaves for a short episode of crying and more silence and unspoken sadness.

Aquila: Becomes very quiet… and already has made up at least 10 ways to repay the person who hurt her. Torturing them either physically or psychologically. Once she is satisfied, she leaves and never looks back.

Kayleigh: Wide eyes, quivering lips, twitching hand. She loves life… sometimes even people… but if something was done to her she can’t just shrug off she won’t hesitate, a tiny moment of lost control and someone is dead, quickly, efficiently, without a second thought, even though she’ll probably regret it later.

Loreley: Loreley would leave… ponder her pain, turning it over in her mind over and over again and if it is bad enough, then until she breaks… again, seeming all nice and calm… until she leaves, a bloodbath lining her way. 

Lou: Fists clenched, gritting his teeth until his jaw starts trembling… lips pressed together hard… he does everything not to lose control again, everything to make his family proud. Knowing if he opens his mouth… everything he fought so hard for is over and lost. He just swallows whatever it is. Trying to tell himself, that no one is worth it. No one, no matter how much he wants to tell them to go and kill themself.  

Phionee: She would withdraw into herself. She doesn’t say much and there is an unspoken sadness in her eyes. But she wouldn’t do anything about it or tell anybody. In the worst case it would leave her as an empty shell without a purpose or a plan. But usually she would recover eventually and in the meantime, try to carry on like normal. [But thank you marvel for killing nearly everybody she cared about… so now I have to deal with the worst case scenario that is an empty shell with a death wish OC ._.]

Rachel: At first, she would bow her head and hope that it stops. And if that doesn’t work she would try to distract herself by acting reckless. Hoping the adrenalin helps. Last but not least suppression.

Daniel: A short burst of anger at first but with comparably little aggression. He would take some time to recover but generally handles stuff like that well + would busy himself by worrying that Rachel might suffer as well and that he should take care of her… formerly, now: he’ll make sure you regret being alive.

Skadi: She has been cold and merciless… but has become much more vulnerable over time. The pain or sadness eating away at her. But she wouldn’t raise her hand and only cry very few tears when she is alone… but she would have a hard time to just let go of it all.

Mariana: First tears, then unproductive anger and last but not least she would try to walk the high road and meet the matter with a terrible, defensive yet passive-aggressive arrogance.

Jason: For a second his mouth would twitch. But he knows better than to lash out. Secretly he needs reassurance now but a beer with the buddies should be enough to make him feel better and to put things behind him… but whoever caused this better is ready to be treated with spite from now on.

Vanessa: That depends a lot on who hurts her or makes her sad. But a small fit of anger – not very scary – would probably be normal. After that petty revenge and pranks would probably be her way to make herself feel better together with arrogance ~ still a Slytherin after all.

Cain: He’d back down and out. Probably leaves for a while, to recover and maybe even decides to close that door behind himself forever because he is actually rather sensitive and doesn’t handle being treated badly or being hurt very well… he just wants to avoid experiencing the same a second time…neither does he necessarily want to forgive.

What are their best traits?

Allete: passionate, intelligent, quick thinker

Bel: clever, charming, good with animals

Cardia: brave, ready to help, honest

Jo: adventurous, carefree, fun to be with

Damian: charming, loyal, caring

Deicida: brave, protective, kind-hearted  

Gabriele: independent, caring, brave

Jennifer: loyal, dependable, stays calm under pressure, compassionate

Ophelia: actually surprisingly kind under a rough shell, fair, lenient, has that weird talent that makes people sleep better when sleeping beside her

Aquila: cunning, intelligent, confident, perceptive

Kayleigh: humorous, witty, light-hearted, caring

Loreley: dependable, loyal, devoted

Lou: controlled, sweet, gives people a chance and brings out the best in them, honest

Phionee: brave, always doing her best, protective, outspoken

Rachel: smart, skilled, tough

Daniel: was protective, faithful bastion of calm, fighter… still a fighter, gets things done, devoted

Skadi: honest, intuitive, well-meaning, methodical, own moral code, loyal, intelligent, curious

Mariana: diligent, gentle, really wants to help others

Jason: tough, big heart he tries to hide, good listener, clever humour, natural leader

Vanessa: open minded aka candid, protective, curious, sly

Cain: outspoken, fighter, honest, attentive, affectionate, sense of justice, benevolent, dedicated

What are their worst traits?

Allete: manipulative, secretive, you never know if she is telling the truth, especially about her feelings

Bel: nicknamed Lord of Lies, short-tempered, vain when given the chance

Cardia: easy to anger, wary, sensitiv

Jo: restless, commitment issues, preference to run from problems

Damian: influenced by fear, hard time opening up, judgemental

Deicida: tough time to keep her emotions under control, secretly bloodthirsty, resentful

Gabriele: stubborn, out of touch with her feelings, when overwhelmed reacts cold and mean

Jennifer: it’s always head over heart, survivor’s guilt, drowns out her worries in coffee or scotch

Ophelia: moody, no faith in nothing loner despite wanting to be loved, gave up on trying to be good

Aquila: arrogant, manipulative, cold and calculating

Kayleigh: when angered… than devastating, tendency to take things too lightly, give and take mentality to a point

Loreley: vengeful, bitter, wary, emotional mess

Lou: trouble staying in control when angered or tired, attracts trouble, self-doubt, overthinking things

Phionee: too deeply hurt by tragedy, sensitive and troubled by what others think of her, only really cares about her group/family

Rachel: a tendency to come across hostile or heartless, cold, apparently lazy

Daniel: was too easy-going sometimes, willing to sacrifice himself, a bit curt… now possessive, aggressive, violent, mostly heartless

Skadi: quarrelsome, impulsive, stubborn, capricious, sharp-tongued, easily bored, sarcastic, sore

Mariana: trusts and loves too easily, seeks others’ approval a lot, easy to take advantage of

Jason: a bit reckless, hard time to push his emotions away, stubborn, doesn’t accept loss well, tendency to do what he thinks is right… for better or worse

Vanessa: sharp tongue, pranks people she doesn’t like, potentially arrogant attitude and aura, quick to anger

Cain: bears grudges, self-doubt and feeling of not belonging, argumentative, stubborn, tendency to be insensitive, always afraid to be abandoned, trouble with interpersonal relations, easy to anger

Foods: Are they a tea or coffee person? Do they eat meat or are they vegatarian? Spicy or mild? Sweet or sour?

Alette – Coffee, small doses but strong, with sugar. Rarely eats meat, not a vegetarian but just not very fond of meat in general. Mild with a touch of spicy… a very small touch. Neither to the extreme ~ she actually has high standards when it comes to food.

Bel – Liquor? So, none but she surprisingly loves smoothies a lot. Loves meat, could probably live on a meat only diet, if she didn’t like broccoli that much. Spicy, super spicy, the burns your tongue to hell and back spicy. Also, sour is cool. Everything that genuinely gives her other trouble than the ones she has for even a second. She especially likes super sour gum, even better if it’s also spicy.

Cardia – Tea – warming her hands, warming her heart, it comforts her but was hard to get on the Isle. Vegetarian… with the food on the Isle still the better choice. Mild and sweet, the sweeter the better, because she grew up rarely getting anything sweet… because there wasn’t much available and what they had on the Isle wasn’t necessarily affordable for her.

Jo – Strawberry milkshakes!!! But coffee is fine too, with a lot of flavours/syrup though. Jo isn’t a picky eater at all. If it gets her through the day, it’s fine. Would probably die for a homecooked meal though. More on the spicy side for a white woman, but aware that’s not much. Sweet… as you might have guessed already.

Damian – Coffee, black, a dash of sugar. That or the fancy Starbucks stuff – there is no in between. Yes, he does eat meat. He actually places value on being an omnivore though and sometimes feels like meat is everything in the world and sometimes like he never needs it again. Spicy makes him feel alive but his stomach doesn’t like it. And… bitter-sweet. He’d probably say with a wink, pulling a black coloured liquorice lollipop out of his mouth with a grin.

Deicida – Neither – both tastes terrible to her. She doesn’t really care about eating at all… but her body has proofed to accept vegan products more readily. Deicida doesn’t really need to eat though but she can taste and spicy stuff is not up her alley. She finds both sour and sweet interesting though.

Gabriele – Prefers hot chocolate but fruit tea is okay too. Yes, she does eat meat. Mild food, fond of sweet dishes and most kinds of porridge, mush or puree. Kind of sweet tooth, though more in the sweet dish and drinks way than actual sweets or candy. Would probably sell her soul for cheese.

Jennifer – Tea – black. What kind of question is that even. She does eat meat but prefers fish. Mild, she doesn’t care about the burning sensation. Sweet but not particular. She is the chips/crisps over chocolate kind of person. But sour is just not a kind of flavour she cares for at all.  

Ophelia – Tea, herbal, strong, sweet, hot. Doesn’t eat any meat except for chicken, turkey, mutton and goat meat. Doesn’t need meat with every meal though. She likes spicy things alright and has a secret sweet tooth she doesn’t want people to know about.

Aquila – Tea actually, black tea with milk and sugar. It doesn’t matter, as long as it’s cooked well and with the right amount of spices. Not a bad cook herself but loves when others do it for her. Not particularly into spicy food or against it as long as the spiciness doesn’t kill the taste. Sweet-sour actually like sour candies and such or some citrus fruits.

Kayleigh – Both actually. She loves hot drinks in general. She doesn’t eat meat and avoids eggs. Can tolerate traces of it but the whole thing makes her nauseas – it’s not an allergy though but something different. Likes milk a lot though. Minds neither. And sweet ~ amazed by all the sweet things humanity came up with and wants to try everything if possible. No holding back!

Loreley – Coffee with lots of milk but no sugar. Is from a time where only rich people did get to have meat and unlike with the coffee never accustomed. Probably won’t turn it down when offered though but probably wouldn’t go for a meat dish either. Mild – very mild. And obsessed with dark chocolate and ice cream.

Lou – Tries to avoid both. But aunt Isabella’s café de olla is hard to resist. Otherwise raspberry ice tea is his favourite. Overall, he’s not too picky with his food. Likes simple dishes and those with a hundred spices. What is spicy? Doesn’t really have a sense for that, could probably eat cayenne pepper and chilli powder by the spoonful with a shrug… he had worse when aunt Valentina cooked. Is super sensitive too sour stuff though and not particularly fond of overly sweet stuff either. Doesn’t like caramel for example but lollipops are fine. Ironically, would run into even the most obvious trap for pecan pie.  

Phionee – What is coffee… or tea? She’s from outer space, but she likes most kinds of milk. No, she doesn’t eat meat nor vegetables. Has found out supplements and a lot of water and ice work best for her. Needs a lot of salt though and could probably live of nutritious mud. Doesn’t care about spicy or mild, sweet or sour stuff, can’t even taste the latter pair. But she likes food with a bit of crunch. Would love plain cornflakes if she was introduced to them.  

Rachel – Coffee all kinds. But rather as a remedy for exhaustion and fatigue instead of for the pleasure or taste. She doesn’t see the point in avoiding any food as long as it meets her three criteria she’s in for it. 1.) dead – like not moving 2.) done – like fully cooked 3.) not rotten in any form or way… will make an exception for fermentation in many cases though. Mild is less trouble. Sweet promises more energy. Food is mostly fuel and remedies though… secretly really loves pancakes and fried eggs with sweet-chilli-sauce though.

Daniel – Coffee – lots of it and little sweetener. He enjoys the bitter taste and the warmth. Life is short, food is good. As long as it’s warm and good he only picks out mushrooms and olives and has Rachel eat them for him. Generally, eats what he feels like, as long as it isn’t too much. Is okay with spicy stuff, will order mild though when ask so that Rachel can try his food too. Would probably be tempted to sell his own mother for chocolate cake and dark chocolate brownies.

That was before… since then he has mostly stopped caring about food, as long as it keeps him going… also likes spicy and sour much more because they remind him of… something… feelings... ugh such a human and weak thing. 

Skadi – Tea mostly, anything except fruit tea. Also drinks it without sugar and  quite a bit of it, mostly during sleepless nights. She eats a lot of meat actually. And doesn’t like spices very much… maybe a dash of salt at best. But the closer to tasteless and plain food is, the better… has a really hard time with spices in general and tends to get sick from very well-seasoned food or cuisine that uses a lot of spices. Hates takeout because of that. Loves white rice, popcorn and white coloured food in general. Likes salty food best.

Mariana – Coffee. She LOVES coffee. Especially with a bit of hot cocoa mixed into it but generally all kinds of coffee. Mariana doesn’t mind meat and likes spicy food quite a bit. But she rarely has time to cook and relies a lot on take out and such even before the trouble with her mutation. And she also likes sweet things, especially in combination with fruits no matter if it’s sugar, honey, caramel or chocolate.  

Jason – Coffee… lots of sugar, kind of running on it in the morning. And he really enjoys meat and especially a good barbecue. He also likes sea food, and anything made from potatoes a lot. He tries to live a bit healthier than it sounds though and unfortunately isn’t much of a cook himself. He’s pretty good at preparing cold meals and provisions though. And he really likes spicy food even though he is not very good with it – it’s probably kind of a secret masochistic thing. Sweet-sour like in berries aka he likes all kinds of berries a lot.

Vanessa – Tea. Big mugs, with milk and a bit of sugar. She makes the best sandwiches you can imagine without having to try them first to know what ingredients go together well. That does neither exclude nor necessarily include meat. She’s doesn’t really like too spicy food and isn’t generally very good with it – so mild. And sweet, definitely sweet. She prefers baked goods over chocolate and other stuff though. Vanessa loves cherry Bakewell tarts the most, followed by Battenberg cake.

Cain – Tea, herbal is best, but cooled down already. Also iced tea, because he can’t really tolerate carbonated beverages. No, he eats fish and other sea food though. But meat doesn’t feel right in his mouth. Mild, he is kind of sensitive to spicy stuff but that is rarely a problem because he cooks a lot of his meals himself. Both – to a point. Sweet but not artificial sweetness. More like rip fruits or maybe honey. And sour goes well with a bunch of fish dishes… but he doesn’t like anything purely sour.

  <Insert your own questions and answers here!>

Their vice(s) and something they are really good in?

Allete: good food/pearls & going undercover

Bel: vanity/alcohol/lying & fighting, leading armies and dealing with animals

Cardia: sweets & telling stories/tending to flowers

Jo: cowardice/sex & tracking down people

Damian: alcohol/cigarettes/lying/caffeine & singing

Deicida: curiosity/recklessness & dancing

Gabriele: wrath/pride/lust? … hopefully never alcohol & repairing and constructing technical devices/videogames

Jennifer: alcohol/purses & gathering info/patching people up

Ophelia: anger/loss of faith/sweets & origami/taking people’s breath away

Aquila: lying/gambling/pride & poker/manipulating people

Kayleigh: gluttony when given the chance/keeping secrets & taking care of magical artefacts/keeping secrets

Loreley: vengeful/envy/indifference & singing/manipulating people

Lou: indifference/anger to a point but mostly because his anger is so dangerous & music, especially playing the violin

Phionee: according to her own people the words: emotions/lust/narcotics & keeping a place together/stealing/escaping

Rachel: despair/remorse/caffeine & finding cases/magic

Daniel: before: caffeine/pride mostly, now: acedia/wrath & fighting/self-sufficiency/driving

Skadi: pride/distraction/remorse & hunting/skiing/standing the cold

Mariana: jealousy/concealment of wrong doing/caffeine & sleeping/dreaming

Jason: pride/berries/cigarettes when nervos & billiard actually/barbecuing/alcohol tolerance

Vanessa: pranks/bears grudges/pride & making sandwiches/potions and herbology

Cain: anger/pride/fruits/in his eyes being of mixed race & swimming/cooking/healing

Do they have a superpower?

Allete: No. She speaks several languages though.

Bel: Kind of. As one of the kings of hell who only answer to Lucifer himself she has 50 legions of spirits under her command. She is also able to create familiars, is stronger than a normal human, well trained with knives and has a very long lifespan.

Cardia: Yes, but it’s magic. She can find ways and portal that connect places and use them to travel, much like it was common custom in Wonderland before things first went array and then changed forever.  

Jo: Yes – she is a mutant. Her eyes are special. She can determine the strength of everybody she meets due to the number she sees above their heads, has night vision, heat vision and can see far very far and more. She needs reading glasses though.

Damian: No – not exactly. Though the way he can charm and manipulate people might as well be a superpower in the end. But not in general.

Deicida: Yes? Blade legs, would be hard to kill due to her skin, doesn’t really age, long living… all since she has been forged not born. That and that she can draw the blood of gods + transforming between a blade and a more human form.

Gabriele: Yes – she is a mutant. Her power is technopathy. She can communicate with technical devices via her thoughts. Find out what is wrong to repair it later… or pushing them to give it their all one last time and work. Technical devices in general try to do her favours and she can ready electrical signals.  

Jennifer: No – not in the classical sense.

Ophelia: Yes – she is a metahuman and able to control wind and air. She has the potential to be rather powerful but isn’t willing to find out her limits. Also, locking her in a room with poor ventilation aka only air-condition can kill her.

Aquila: No, not really. She is extremely clever and cunning though and actually a book character brought to life by an old magic… too cunning though to have made that known to others and be sent back so far… even though the name she chose is a kind of obvious play on her real name… or so she likes to think. But staying close to the truth often makes it easier to deceive people.

Kayleigh: You could say that. She is kind of goddess and her power is a terrible one. But without her the world would be in trouble too. And despite currently staying on earth she still fulfils her duty and has her “weapon” with her… but even if it did fall into the hands of someone else, her power would wear of the “weapon” quickly and it would soon be just a plain old… of what it is.

Loreley: Yes – she is not a god but an old mythological figure. Like a spirit. She has less powers but still some. Like her voice being able to lure people – mostly men – into danger and death. She also doesn’t really age. The gods are still much more powerful, but she has her own tricks.

Lou: Yes – he is a metahuman. Able to control people with his voice and make them bide to his will. If he leaves they are soon freed from his “spell”. If he stays but doesn’t say anything further, it still takes a lot longer. Lou has to carefully watch what he says to not accidently hurt people by using his power. A power because of which people tend to expect that he just has to be a villain.

Phionee: No, she is an alien and therefore has a few other perks and problems than humans. Like only living about half as long and needing cool temperatures. But aside of that and a tail she doesn’t have any superpowers.

Rachel: Yes and no? Not superpowers but magic. Rachel is a very versed, usually good, witch. Powerful enough so that there are rumours that she surely has a covenant with a demon going. Well it’s not a covenant for sure, but she is still pretty talented.

Daniel: No, originally he was close to peak human condition at best. But now things are different and he has obtained all the powers of a demon… unfortunately by becoming one.

Skadi: Yes, she is a frost giant and the Asgardian goddess of winter, hunting and skiing. Her magical powers controlling ice, snow, blizzards and the like are rather powerful. And she has all the perks of Jotun but also all the trouble. But it’s still a powerful combination.

Mariana: Yes – she is a mutant. Able to dive into the dreams of others while sleeping, to jump between dreams and control them to a point. Marianna can also “store” sleep for later and if she doesn’t actively control it she emits an aura that makes others sleepy. Before things went down she was known to hold night classes at the Institute, gathering the students in a dream and teaching their subconscious directly. She only has access to people that are currently sleeping… but if she kills someone in a dream… they never wake up again.

Jason: No – he’s well trained and fit. But he doesn’t have any superpowers he knows of.

Vanessa: Magic? Like all students at Hogwarts she knows how to conjure a spell, mix a potion, stuff like that. But there is no super outstanding ability people would know of or she would admit to.

Cain: Yes, kind of. Due to his mixed heritage he is able to change between a more human form and that of a merman, scally tail, gills and all. The folk of his mother also seems to know some interesting to potent magic. He is not extremely versed in it though since he opted against dedicating his life to magic and magic alone from a young age on.

What do they really want?

Allete: Peace and prosperity – no matter what she has to do for it.

Bel: Appreciation and acceptance – without having to change completely and the beauty she would get back that way.

Cardia: For her mother to get her meds, the nice normal life the good kids got and traveling [without having to worry about her mum].

Jo: Finding a place and a person to stay without feeling trapped and to keep doing something with her life that feels meaningful.

Damian: Not to die… the love of a certain person… neither of which seems archivable + success as a singer and musician would be nice.

Deicida: To understand emotions and be happy – at least for a while before she has to return to be a sword again.

Gabriele: A place where people like her are save. No more mistreated mutant kid like her and the others… but she has stopped believing in tolerance… so a parallel society maybe? Actually that she could just be normal and have normal problems… not feeling the burden on her shoulders or trying to provide a safe haven for the others.

Jennifer: For everybody to survive… and Kingsman to keep fighting for the right things. Also to be able to act on certain feelings… but that is not an option.

Ophelia: To stop being bad… though she can’t believe in it any longer. Then just to survive and for the irredeemable criminals to die… and she definitely believes that those exist. Also killing the Joker.  

Aquila: To proof that she is better than… but also not to return to her book. She actually likes to be more than a character of a fictional story.

Kayleigh: For life to keep blooming and being able to indulge in all the energy of life. Aka for things never to end and humanity and nature to keep prospering. Also, just to enjoy her disguise as long as she can.  

Loreley: That her sweetheart didn’t cheat on her all those many, many years ago. That her heart could be unbroken and not shattered… but also the power back she once had, when her name was whispered only because men feared her power and woman were mesmerised and scared, of what she could do and did, at the same time.

Lou: To be accepted as “not a villain” would be a start… that people encourage him instead of being so sure he won’t be able to make it anyway. Or to get rid of the power, at least for a bit to be able to tell people to “go to hell” and “I wish you were dead.” Without there being serious consequences. 

Phionee: A place to call home and be accepted for who she is… she had that for a while. Now that her “son(s)” has his own kind of family and place to belong to and the death of an important person in her life all she wants is to die… go out with a bang before her time is up anyway.

Rachel: Have the old days back. Those when she and Daniel were just traveling around hunting things and it wasn’t the end of the world what felt like every second month. She never realised how good and easy it was when her biggest problem was some poltergeist.

Daniel: The tiny bit of humanity left in him might want the same as Rachel does… the rest of him though… a comfortable life, Rachel as his slave/lover and to not be bothered anymore by all this doing good and saving people stuff. Maybe the reign over a small city would be nice too.

Skadi: A place to belong to in a way… and just to heal, slowly, at her own pace. Which means she’s comparably content right now but always afraid that it will just be over as well.

Mariana: Someone to love to and who loves her. Being valued for who she is… also to be accepted back into society and if that doesn’t work to rule it with her fellow mutants. But more than anything she wants to be loved… it seems that easy.

Jason: He’s not so sure about that. For life to be nice and an adventure? To people making it out alive of their missions and others getting better? He doesn’t really ask for much. Just wants to do his best in this life and place, while not forgetting about living and being a human being.

Vanessa: World peace? No but really, she wants for people – including herself – to be able to live a comfortable life, free of fear and filled with tolerance. But for now… just getting done with school and finding a job she likes would be nice. Also, there might be someone she has a crush on… but that’s a different story.

Cain: For people to forget the other half. No matter where he is, they never fully trust him. He always feels like shut out. And the one person he wanted a deeper connection with declined that… staying “just friends” is hard when he never feels like people trust him or want him around. All while all he wants is feeling like he belongs.

Phase 3 - FREEFORM!

Write a story about them (Are they from different worlds; how would they interact if they met up?) Make aesthetic board(s) for one or many. Have a snippet of dialogue between them. Maybe quotes from each of them? Whatever you want!

I might write a story, but later when I have the inspiration and time for it. For now, please enjoy my OC aesthetics with quotes ~

And thank you to @cantankerousintrovertedpumpkin for tagging me in this. Sorry it took me forever but OCs is... kind of thing for me as you might notice and there are so many... and I just couldn’t make up my mind to only chose 5-10 SORRY!!!

#melody original #my OCs #OCs #melody's OCs #allete toupine #belial #cardia rose #counter #johanna jayne #damian #deicida #grabriele hoffmann #blueprint #jennifer elisabeth kross #guinevere #gust #ophelia shilazar #aquila pace #kayleigh fortuna porter #loreley #lou #voiceover #lucius kardin perez bowman #phionee esteria usmin #rachel woods #roads #danton #daniel weston #skandra thorn #skadi

[the-moon-and-stars-my-love]

Is it hard to be demisexual and have close friends? And have any of them ever been uncomfortable around you?

I’d like to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you meant this as a genuine question out of curiosity rather than an attempt to invalidate my romantic and sexual orientation. So I’ll try to address bits that, personally, have been things I’ve been thinking about ever since I realized I was demiromantic, grey demisexual. And I don’t speak for everyone. This is just from my own experience and thoughts.

If you’re asking me if it’s scary to think about the risk of losing a friendship, then yes, it is. Because I love all the friends I have, and I love the connection, but if, in the future, my feelings turn into those where I’d consider wanting more? Well, unrequited feelings are always a possibility and that can be a scary thing to even consider. Because if I had those feelings and that level of bonding with someone, I’d find it really difficult to act on it for fear of them never wanting to be around again ha youve discovered it my fear of being forever alone and forgotten it’s fine tho im good so…moving on

I’m not someone who has ever been on a date. Growing up, while everyone else was gawking over the people in our grade and getting into relationships, I never even had a proper crush. Hell, I haven’t even had my first kiss, which, by the way, is perfectly okay we make too big a deal about when everyone had their first kiss like no you’re not behind the curve or a late bloomer or whatever. That’s besides the point. Anyway. I remember saying I had a crush on a guy or two in my grade, but I never really…meant it. I just said it so people would stop asking me who I liked. I’ve just…it’s never really been a thing for me. I haven’t been interested in many people. At all. I could count on one hand who I have had romantic feelings for in my whole life. 

It can be hard, when people around you don’t understand your reasons. I’ve been asked before if I’m “just being picky.” I’ve been told “you should just go on a date with someone.” I’ve heard “stop being a stuck up bitch and just date the guy.” I’ve been harassed and tried to be made felt guilty for not wanting to date someone. I have cried because I felt awful that I couldn’t return someone’s feelings. I’ve been made to feel broken and as if I should just….give in, even when I felt uncomfortable. I hate to say that I let myself be convinced into going out with someone one night because “he likes you, you should go for it” even when I knew that wasn’t something I wanted. 

One of the most difficult parts of being demisexual? Is being told you’re making it up, especially when you don’t even know how to properly explain it to yourself.  

It wasn’t until a few months ago that I even realized that these terms existed. Demiromantic. Demisexual. Gray ace. They don’t always fit perfectly - I mean, there’s still a bit of wiggle room, ya know? - but they feel right, more often than not. They express how I am able to have those types feelings for others. They make me feel a little more sure about myself. More comfortable in my own skin.

The prefix of demi in terms of sexuality and romanticism means there is a potential for that type of attraction if there is a close bond. And potential does not mean absolutely going to happen. It just means the possibility is there. Think…there’s a key that unlocks these feelings that very very few people have access to, but they have to get past a few security clearance check points before. It’s not being difficult. It’s how romanticism and sexuality work for me. 

These terms don’t mean I don’t want to go on a date with anyone ever. They don’t mean I’m opposed to meeting people and developing a bond with them. They don’t mean I don’t ever want to be loved and have a partner and love them in return. It just means that it doesn’t happen as easily for me as it does for others. It also doesn’t mean I have a crush on everyone I am close to. And my friends have not once told me that my sexuality or romantic orientation has made them uncomfortable.  

In the end, all I can hope for is that any romantic or potential sexual attraction I have in the future is requited from the person I have a bond with. Until then, well, the amount of platonic love I have for people takes up a very large space in my heart, so I’m able to allow myself to not always pay as much attention to the times where I wish I had that other type of love. But we won’t talk about that. It’s a separate conversation that is much better talked about with someone I trust, though not just yet. And I definitely can’t have it with the whole of the internet.

#long post #demisexuality #demiromantic #ace spectrum

[shardclan]

Since the moment the old dynasty ended, Arcanus had been Telos' right hand. Before Bestealcian was trained well enough to be her Umbra Wolf, and before Lutia had healed enough to be Queen's Mage, Arcanus had faithfully been at her side. And despite the undeniable fact that his personality had softened and lightened and that he clung more openly to the few dragons he was attached to, most of his time was still undeniably spent watching Telos' back. 

So it was strange to finally feel what it was like to be on the other side of her desk, pinned in place by her gaze. 

It should have been a simple task. Shekhinah and Ranti were certainly going to be wherever Faded had cropped up, so Arcanus and Bestealcian were to go investigate. It was supposed to be quiet, in and out, even if they found something wrong they were not supposed to raise even so much as their voice. Yet even before they were deep enough into the city for the daylight to have fully faded, there was so much that had left Arcanus in the wrong state of mind for the job.

“What happened?”

Stubs of Carnelian's cigarettes. Dozens of them. Some old, some fresh. Arcanus hadn't seen him since their talk about Stellaria and how odd Carnelian's actions had been lately. But Carnelian hadn't wandered far on his supposed job, it seemed. Signs of his presence only grew thicker as Bestealcian led the way, and Arcanus knew the imperial had been to see Hitth. He didn't smoke during stakeouts.

Bestealcian's jab at his disquiet. It wasn't even that she liked to push his buttons, she just didn't have a single reverent feather on her body. Her tone had been light-hearted and joking rather when she asked if he was worried about 'his boyfriend'. He wasn’t so far gone such childish words could upset him, but his reproach was firm. "Don't say that. It would hurt Atsushi if that kind of thing reached him." 

Even as he said it, he knew he was saying something strange. Arcanus hadn't forgiven Atsushi in spite of his reform. Lately he sympathized with him--he could no longer regard unrequited love as a waste of time and energy that could be better spent on self-improvement--but that didn't mean he actually cared about Atsushi. But he did care about Carnelian, and knew instinctively that if such a stupid misunderstanding reached Atsushi’s ears, Carnelian would-- He would...

Oh.

Something about how simple it was had deeply embarrassed him.  He was still new to openly caring for his loved ones, and practically new born at being in love, and it amazed him how easily he could now recognize the seeds of it in others. The old him would have never noticed, and probably not believed it if he were told. A part of him wished he was still that stoicism on his side. It felt indecent and invasive that the nature of a could-be relationship between two people could creep over someone uninvolved and dawn on them like that. Romantic gossip had merely been frivolous nonsense to him before, but it seemed downright rude now.

So it was that Arcanus had stopped being in the right frame of mind to meet Hitth long before they actually arrived at the crumbled temple, and finding his brother there was merely the largest crack in the already crumbling foundations of his once-stolid disposition. That Ashes responded with wide, fearful eyes and clutched fingers didn't help.

It was the guilt in his brother’s eyes that set Arcanus off. It said “I know. I know I shouldn’t be here. I know this isn’t safe, that I’ve put myself in danger, and that I’ve hurt you.” If it had been the first time, perhaps it wouldn’t have been so bad. But Arcanus had already asked Ashes to stay away--had intentionally hid his visits from Stellaria and made a liar of himself. 

His sword was in his hand as he approached, and he was ready to become a murderer. “Not again!” he’d cried. “I WILL NOT LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN!”

Then there had been the light. 

And the vision. 

His knees thudded in the dirt from a thousand worlds away, and the sword fell from his grip. Tiny insects that looked like motes of light in the high summer sun replaced the dark landscape. She was there as he’d seen in a thousand dreams, standing in the Summerlands with the high summer wheat waving around her waist. The unnamed scion was there with her, and of course she wasn’t unnamed. He heard a name called that wasn’t Shard and must have been hers but he was too overwhelmed to recall it. Telos’ eyes lit up in a way Arcanus hadn’t seen in near ten eons now, and Fragment appeared like a pouncing mirror from out of the stalking. He lifted her up, and Arcanus’ head and heart rang with the sound of her joyful laughter.

When he turned away, it was only because it was too bright to look at. He came to in that dark world with Ashes’ wild eyed, crying face right before him. Arcanus’ own face was wet, and it was not from his brother’s tears.

Bestealcian had ushered him back, but he had more or less been sleep-walking the whole way, right until the moment he had been called in. Ashes sat on one stool, another left open, Lutia on Telos’ left and Azricai standing to her right. Where Arcanus normally would have been. And when their eyes met, he felt his heart calm. He hadn’t asked her to. As the Judge, it was particularly illegal for her to use AREI on others. But he needed it the way Carnelian needed cigarettes and Eos needed the pearlcatcher scroll and Heaven needed pain. So he accepted that calming wave with as subtle but grateful an expression as he could...

...And didn’t say any of that. 

“When I saw Ashes there I lost control of myself,” he stated factually. “I made the move to kill Hitth, but when I did, I looked into...whatever it is they do. As we see, I made it back, but I am potentially contaminated as well now.”

Telos glanced sidelong at Azricai, who appeared vexed but nodded anyway. Her fingers drummed along the marble top of the desk, until finally she clasped her hands together. 

“While you were gone, something came through the rift were the seat almost tore through the veils during transport. It looked like a dragon, though it might not have been. Faded attached to it.” 

When she was assured by their recoiling that they understood the weight of that statement, she continued: “According to Ranti, it’s functionally a spirit, but very special one. And the rest of the coven will be coming to incubate and stabilize its presence in this world when Auspice departs them on the next full moon.”

“W...well that’s fine then isn’t it...?” Ashes ventured timidly.

“I’m not sure it is. When Ranti tried to explain it, words like ‘ultraplanar’ and ‘greater manifestation’ were tossed around. There is also the very interesting matter where Ranti is apparently capable of using her orogenesis to materialize pure white celestine.”

Recoil was not all that Telos got out the two this time. Whatever else had happened to them in Hewn City, Ashes was the former student of a powerful Archmage and a scholar who thrived on greater understanding of magic; and Arcanus was a magic knight who believed from his youth that the past was something that should be learned from. 

“Where is it?!” Ashes screamed. He had the sense to sound scared rather than excited for once. “It’s extremely dangerous to Arcanites! Even a small amount could kill any one of us!”

“Outside House Betelegeuse,” Telos said coolly. “Sealing shut the rift, because now that something has finally come through it, more things are expected to follow. Sit down.”

“But--!!!”

“Sit down,” Telos repeated, with Arcanus’ steely voice echoing her. 

Ashes flinched, more at his brother than Telos. His hands flexed open and shut, gripping his hair, his clothes, each other. Much as Arcanus had never been on the other side of Telos’ scrutiny, Ashes had never been on the other side of Arcanus’ anger. He sat down.

Telos, meanwhile, took to her feet and circled the desk until she was standing over them both. “Something is stirring in this clan. After all these untried eons of picking up the pieces and figuring out how to be responsible for the old agreements, were are again at risk from something or someone who actively  means us ill. Right now, Dreamweaver is weakened and exhausted. They would protect us if they could, but I intend to protect them right now. So I have no patience for weak hearts.” 

She pointed the pommel of her rapier at Ashes. “I let your visits to the Hewn City go uncommented on because I thought you would stop when Arcanus asked you to. But instead you went behind his back. So I can’t trust that you won’t go behind mine as well.”

From where she still stood like a stormy-faced statue, Azricai decreed: “You are sentenced to house arrest, with the specification that you will be confined to your lab so as not to interrupt your important work. When your expertise as Tribune is required, you will be accompanied to and from the designated site, and you are not to be without your chaperone at penalty of imprisonment.”

Ashes opened his mouth to cry out in protest, but wisely closed it even though he trembled in his seat. When Lutia rested her compassionately on his shoulder, he let himself be guided away in silence that was only interrupted by his hitching, barely-controlled sobs.

This left Arcanus alone under Telos’ scrutinizing glare. Though he had not actively disappointed her, he could see her assessing the odds that he would go the same way. Addicted to whatever hidden desire he had been shown and willing to brave the dark and treacherous avenues of the Hewn City for another glimpse. 

He must have passed, since she let her rapier rest back against her hip. “Whatever you have seen today, I hope you understand that it is an escape. The way things are here and now in this world will not change, whether you chase that vision or not.”

Arcanus kept a stony countenance, but his heart fluttered beneath his breastplate. How strong the Morning Queen had grown. This Telos was certainly not the withdrawn and cynical Xannite Alchemist, but nor was she her freshly-coronated self, who was easily frustrated and prone to becoming excessively anxious over even small problems. 

He was a fool to love her for sure, but he couldn’t decide if it was arrogant of him to be as proud of her as he was at that moment. 

“I hope your heart will be focused on what is and not what could be, Arcanus.”

The sound of her laughter in the arms of Fragment rose up from the back of her mind, but it found less purchase than he expected. An ideal version of events it might very well be, but his Telos was here, and no miracle would happen that brought her family back to her in this world. 

“You are my charge,” he answered finally. “That is above all other things.”

Beyond Telos, he noted Azricai’s grip relax atop her cane and her knuckles regaining their color. 

#Flight Rising #Voices from the Eclipse #Woooo lawd #C: Telos #C: Arcanus

[qobiin]

weekly fic rec hoard

here's what i've been enjoying reading (and re-reading) this past week for different fandoms across the board! this week features: atla, bnha, coco, descendants, harry potter, the hobbit, and sonic ♡ means: all-time fave, (m) means: 18+

avatar: the last airbender

♡ Mismatched by Kimberly_T In Season One, when Prince Zuko unexpectedly becomes Papa Zuko, he rocks not just the cradle but his entire ship, and eventually a lot more!

♡ Embers by Vathara Dragon's fire is not so easily extinguished; when Zuko rediscovers a lost firebending technique, shifting flames can shift the world...

Treachery of the Highest Order by LoserLife592 Sometimes life is unfair. Sometimes the universe likes to kick you when you're down. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. But there a still lines that need to be drawn. And this? This is beyond that line. (or, You Think You Know A Guy)

boku no hero academia

those hardest to love need it most by DancingInTheStorm Aizawa visits Aldera Junior High and finds out some disturbing truths.

♡ And Now I See Daylight by DancingInTheStorm A social media fic following Deku post-graduation.

♡ the art of scraping through by smallmightysmash An enlightening day during those ten months of training before the U.A. Entrance Exam, an injury that Toshinori frets over and one sad Midoriya Izuku.

♡ learn how to love (like you) by aloneintherain “Fusion is supposed to be beautiful, Izuku," Mum says. "You’ll make more friends, and fuse with them, and feel how much they love you. I promise." Izuku thinks about the wave of hatred-disgust-fear that rose up when Kacchan realised the extent of their fusion, and buries his wet face in his mum’s shoulder. He doesn’t want to fuse with anyone ever again. (AU where fusion isn't just a battle strategy; it's a form of affection and trust between loved ones. Izuku always thought fusion was for other people. Not for him. Not for quirkless Deku. And then he meets All Might.)

Sentimental Youth by ChiaRoseKuro Bakugou Katsuki knows that he’s luckier than most—very few bullies ever get forgiveness from their victims, and fewer still would be able to seek it. It complicates things, a little, when his erstwhile victim is also his current lover and one of the most popular Pro Heroes in town— But if they could survive everything life threw at them as children, then what’s stopping them from overcoming a little separation as adults? Bakugou starts out fine, at first, but as the days wear on… ( wherein absence makes the heart grow fonder, once it’s done hurting it immeasurably first )

coco

Watchful Eyes by NanixErka or "I have to watch my ex husband be a good dad and it kind of gets under my metaphorical skin"

♡ Offerings by SatuD2 In the years following Miguel's visit to the Land of the Dead, Día de Muertos was very different for one shabby skeleton.

♡ I Dreamed About You by papergardener Miguel wonders… what if he didn’t make it in time? What if he hadn’t saved Héctor? But on the night Coco passes away, Miguel is visited by a familiar face.

♡ the family skeleton by pennylogue Five ways Miguel stays connected to the dead side of his family, and one way he learns to be close with the living.

♡ to days of inspiration (making something out of nothing) by aletterinthenameofsanity Anger fills her. Where were they while Héctor was being Forgotten? Where were they when this wonderful man grieved, cried, wrote such haunting music for Frida but never penned a note for himself? Where were this so-called familia? How could they abandon this man who, though flawed, is still one of the best people Ceci has ever met?

♡ Miguel’s Big Secret by papergardener Years later, Miguel finally decides to tell someone the truth of what happened on that Dia de los Muertos. But he doesn’t expect another secret to come out thanks to a bunch of eavesdropping spirits.

♡ I’m Into Fitness by loracarol There’s a hole in the ceiling and a man falls through. At least, he’s man shaped, once he’s completely through the hole - until then he’s mostly skeleton shaped. He’s man shaped enough that Elena cringes when he crashes onto the ground; luckily he looks mostly winded, and not particularly in pain. She wonders if that’s part of whatever pushed him through the hole as well.

the cool parent by Humanities_Handbag aka: miguel had definitely expected héctor to be a cool parent. he was absolutely wrong.

descendants

♡ To Kill A Dragon by PBWritesStuff Life on the Isle of the lost is hard, but the core four are well adapted to it, thanks to the beatings and the constant struggle for survival. Their parents won't help them. Auradon won't help them. So these kids are going to have to help themselves, starting with a hostile takeover.

harry potter

i owe you by broadway_hufflepuff Hesitating, Draco sat down next to him. "What... was that?" Harry let out a dry scoff. "My childhood, Malfoy. Not exactly the 'Saviour treatment' you expected, huh?" Or, Draco is ordered to teach Harry Occlumency.

♡ Through The Quiet Emerald series by alwayslily22 and Des98 Slytherin Trio. Deaf Harry.

♡ survival is a talent by ShanaStoryteller In the middle of their second year, Draco and Harry discover they're soulmates and do their best to keep it a secret from everyone. Their best isn't perfect.

the hobbit

♡ If You Love Someone by authoressjean Erebor is being rebuilt and just in time for Bilbo and Thorin's wedding, which would be perfect, except for one problem. They're awkward together, they don't speak anymore, and they rarely see each other. It's nothing like when he first asked for Bilbo's hand, before they went to Erebor and...well. That happened. It's as if he no longer loves Bilbo anymore, and is marrying him out of duty or obligation.  And when Bilbo realizes that everyone else has figured that out except for him, he knows what he has to do.

Of Mead, Rights, and Sleep by GallantGeekery Bilbo is propositioned by another dwarf. Thorin does not approve.

♡ A King’s Ransom by lilithiumwords "I have come to receive my claim of the treasure of the Kingdom of Erebor, as promised in my contract of employment signed by Thorin, son of Thráin, and Balin, son of Fundin. To get to the point, this jewel is worth a king's ransom. So, I'd like to trade for that, please. The king. Now." Bilbo claims his fourteenth share of the treasure -- and it's not the Arkenstone.

♡ To Have and To Hoard by PurrpleCat When Gandalf strolled up the Bagshot Row towards Bag End, Bilbo Baggins was far from pleased. He might have owed the wizard a favour, sure, though the old coot himself never even mentioned payback of any kind, but a suicidal quest to reclaim a homeland and slay a dragon with only thirteen dwarves, and not thirteen of the brightest at that, was a bit too much. Then there was, of course, the issue of him being a dragon. Kind of. And even bigger issue of Goldlust that could only be controlled by a Tamer. But Bilbo's people were long dead and gone, and his potential Heart with them. So why is his spirit all but purring at the sight of a certain pigheaded Dwarf King?

sonic the hedgehog

(m) Evil Grows by MadQueen Agent Stone's crush on the doctor finally comes to light and is dealt with accordingly.

The truth will come out by Caloor Agent stone wants to hide his feelings and Dr.Robotnik just invented a truth serum.

♡ the definition of insanity by VoltageInside “What would you do for me?” Robotnik asked softly, his head tilting all the way to the side. Stone’s tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, chasing after the feeling of Robotnik’s breath. “Everything.” (Agent Stone is Dr. Robotnik's devoted henchman.)

♡ (m) An Odd Experiment by technetium43 A conversation between Dr. Robotnik and Agent Stone unfolds a little differently.

♡ It Seems to be that Everytime I Look at you Evil Grows in Me by Gamergirl_exe87  After spending half a year grieving what seemed to be the loss of the man he had secretly been in love with for years, Agent Stone has to messily, hastily get his life back together again when Dr. Robotnik appears on his doorstep. He finds that proximity does not mend feelings or make up for the unrequited. Even more shocking, maybe he isn't as unrequited as he originally thought.

wanna rec me something? head over to my ask or submission boxes! message me even, i don't really mind (:

and to all my fellow authors who may feel a little down about not getting onto rec lists, this is for you:

#fic rec hoard #bookshelf #fic recs #atla #bnha #coco #descendants #hp #the hobbit #sonic movie #the gaang #bakudeku #himelda #core four #drarry #bagginshield #stonenik #(dunno if that last one is the actual ship name or not)

[onesandzcros]

reflection.

It was the middle of freshman year, and Tara’s fingers messed with a few strands of long hair as she sat in literature class, waiting for the period to come to an end. When the bell finally rang for recess, she got up and stretched, easily picked out in a fitted t-shirt and blue jeans. It meant that when Alyson came to find her, she grinned easily. “Hey, see you made it through without falling asleep. Thought I was going to have to throw something at you.”

Alyson’s expression then was one of wounded dignity with mischief hidden behind. “It was pretty damn close. Hope that not all of high school literature classes will be like this.” That was when she made a face. “Gym class after this, ugh. Why is it mandatory and where can I hide until it goes away?”

Tara’s stomach plummeted. The school’s changing rooms were a nightmare, enough to make her anxious, palms sweating as she tried to change with her back turned away from everyone, t-shirt moved to cover her front. Rather than highlight that, though, she shrugged and walked alongside Alyson, pulling a hairband from around her wrist to tie her hair up into a messy ponytail. “Tell me about it. You won’t catch me dead in there. You should just skip with me.”

“I can’t, I’ll get caught, and you’ll get detention.”

I’d rather get detention than be in there. “Guess we’ll find out,” she replied with a smirk, only for her gaze to wander across the quad where the football players were practicing once they left the building. For February, the weather was still incredibly mild and most of the student body were taking advantage of it. Alyson caught the direction of where Tara’s attention was at and chuckled, almost immediately misinterpreted. “You know, I thought some of the others were bad when it came to checking out the football players, but that wasn’t remotely subtle. Who are you looking at?”

Caught, Tara blushed, a rare enough occurrence that it made it look like what it wasn’t: unrequited crush. “No one,” she said quickly. It wasn’t true, but she wasn’t looking over there for the reasons that Alyson probably expected either. It wasn’t about seeing a handsome boy and wanting to be kissed, though that had crossed her mind before. No, instead, it was curiosity; wondering how it felt to move the way that they did, how it would be to live in someone else’s skin just for a little while.

To not look in the mirror and feel strangely distant.

To want to look in the mirror at all.

Spring fling. Of all the stupid dances that the school could come up with, it definitely numbered among the lamer ones. Her mom had been thrilled that she was going, of course, happy to see that she was going to go out and have fun, and had taken her shopping for a dress. Tara hadn’t been able to protest, had endured at least an hour of trying dress after dress until she finally just picked one so that it’d be over. Sarah hadn’t known that it would be a problem, but had given her a measuring glance when her hands had folded over her middle in clear discomfort, hadn’t looked at herself directly in the mirror for too long. “Honey, you know you don’t have to have this one if you don’t like it, right? You look beautiful in all of them.” She hadn’t had the heart to tell her mother that there wasn’t a single dress anywhere that would make her feel okay or less confused, so she’d grinned and talked fast, over-compensated. “No, I love this one, Mom, it’s great and it’s not too expensive.” It was a dark shade of blue in a silky material, flared out at the waist, but no matter what she tried, everything was fitted on the top half, enough to make her want to cross her arms over her chest. Seemingly convinced, her mom had smiled, and Tara exhaled inwardly in relief even as her fingers still plucked uselessly at the skirt of the dress, unable to keep still.

On the day itself, nothing convinced her that she hadn’t made a terrible decision in deciding to go. Sat in a room full of her friends, who were getting dressed, trying to follow make-up tutorials off of YouTube only halfway successfully and curling their hair, Tara felt positively claustrophobic. Why did I agree to do this again? They’d all agreed to get ready together at someone’s house, but she could barely think of putting the dress in the nearby garment bag on, let alone doing her hair and make-up. Roxanne, looking effortlessly gorgeous even with her hair only half-straightened and wearing old sweatpants frowned in her direction. “Hey, did you want the curling iron? I think Jessica had it.” That was when Tara shook herself, reached down to extract her make-up bag. “I’m good, I was just wondering what to do on my eyes,” she said. She hadn’t been wondering any such thing, and it didn’t look like Roxanne believed her either. “You know, you’ve been weird for a few days. Is there something wrong?”

I hate being a girl wasn’t something Tara could say out loud, but the urge was overwhelming. I’m so confused, why am I like this? wasn’t something she could admit to either, because that would mean that she’d have to explain what she was confused about. Instead, she pressed her lips together, shook her head. “Don’t worry, I’ll get over it, probably just PMS or something.” Roxanne nodded sympathetically then, as though that solved it instantly, and then smiled at Tara. “Is there anyone you like who’ll be at the dance tonight? Maybe that’ll take your mind off whatever’s going on. Or is that the problem and you just don’t want to say?”

Please drop it. That was the only thought in Tara’s head. “Promise you won’t tell?” Roxanne leaned in eagerly then. “I like someone, but he’s out of my league. Older, has a girlfriend, the works.” No, she didn’t. She didn’t want to be someone’s girlfriend. What she felt when she looked at boys was confusing. On the one hand, there was the potential of butterflies, but there were also more conflicting signals. Wanting to ask where they got that shirt from so she could get the same. Wanting to be strong enough to throw around a football as casually as they did. Wanting to look like that, strong jaw and tall and broad shoulders. But that wasn’t normal. This, talking about boys as crushes, should be what was normal.

Roxanne had grinned. “Secret’s safe with me. Unless it’s someone from your Glee club, in which case you might want to rethink your options. It’s not, right?” It was no secret how half the school thought of the Glee club, but Tara and Alyson had joined anyway. Tara was quick to deny it anyway, shook her head. “No way,” she said with a laugh.

Was it worse that she lied, or that she didn’t know what was going on with herself well enough to even make an attempt at the truth?

What’s happening to me?

It was past midnight. The dance had been over for hours. Tara was at home, and she was exhausted from dancing, from smiling, from thinking about the boy who had asked her to dance and then for her phone number. She’d had a great time with her friends. Everything was perfect.

Except for her Google search history, stared at and restlessly scrolled through as she lay in bed with the lights out, unable to sleep.

Except for the fact that avoiding being honest with herself was starting to take its toll.

A girl who feels like a boy.

What does it mean if I feel like a boy and still like boys?

Transgender.

Gender dysphoria.

The list went on and had been steadily increasing every night for weeks, until it was the first thing that started to appear in the search history on her phone. Tara had never been able to bring herself to look at the search results for long; it was as difficult as looking in the mirror. Tonight, though, she’d managed to get up the courage to actually click on a couple of links before she froze up and backed out of it, feeling like she was going to itch out of her skin.

Nothing fit. Nothing ever fit. Not the pretty dress exactly her size that had wound up in a crumpled heap in the corner of her bedroom. Not how she felt, as though everything was a terrifying lie, especially her body and the way it said girl. Setting her phone aside on her bedside table, Tara stared up at the ceiling, wrapped arms around her stomach beneath the covers. With relentless, almost bruising fingers, she pressed out the shape of her waist, her hips, and there was no comfort to be found there, only something undeniably missing and lacking. The knowledge that she couldn’t ignore any more: the outside of her didn’t match the inside.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?

He wouldn’t have asked you to dance if he’d known you’d rather be wearing a suit than a dress.

I’m so scared.

This wasn’t a fairytale. She cried herself to sleep.

The next day, she woke up far too early and took a listless glance at her phone when she saw the screen lit. A couple texts, one from the boy from last night, one from Alyson, some tags from Instagram. Tara didn’t open any of them. She just swiped away the notifications from the screen and rolled over with it in her hand, her back to her bedroom door, stared at the wall. This had been her Saturday mornings for a while now, and she didn’t really want to think about why staying in bed and not moving until almost midday was the better option than getting up and doing anything. Maintaining the outward appearance of feeling and behaving normally when nothing in her felt that way was exhausting, and occasions like dances just meant Tara had to amplify it until people were sold on the fiction that she was having a good time.

She could hear her mom in the kitchen downstairs, always an early riser, but getting up would mean having to talk about the dance and Tara just couldn’t do it.

Instead, she returned her attention to her phone, and tentatively, she began to tap a different search into it.

How can I make my chest look flat like a boy’s?

Almost immediately, there was a wealth of information suddenly available; websites that showed selections that talked about sports bandages, sports bras, binders, and nervously, she hovered again. I’m just looking. It doesn’t have to mean anything.

That didn’t explain why when Tara eventually exited the house, she got the bus and went to the nearest big department store on her own, without texting any of her friends. No one could know about this.

There hadn’t really been a plan, only a few nervous glances around as she headed for the floor which held all of the men’s clothing. If anyone asked or there were any accidental run-ins, she could just say she was looking for a birthday gift for her dad. No one would be the wiser. No one would guess it meant anything else, they had no reason to.

Strolling through the aisles, Tara’s gaze roamed over t-shirts, pairs of trousers, and it was with a sinking heart that she realised the sizing was a new obstacle to conquer. It meant that all of the t-shirts she casually picked up as though browsing were in a size small, and the pair of jeans grabbed as an afterthought were a guess at best. Thankfully there was only one attendant at the changing rooms when she made her way down to the women’s section, barely paying attention to the fact that Tara had a sports bra that clearly wouldn’t fit for its intended purpose slung over her arm with items from a completely different area.

Tara hated changing rooms, hated the full length mirrors, the unforgiving lighting and the way every flaw seemed magnified. She hadn’t enjoyed dress shopping at all, so that begged the question of why she was putting herself through this instead. Why was it any different?

Confirmed, the sports bra was too tight. But it was meant to be, flattening her chest into something barely there. She could bear the discomfort just to try this out.

The jeans by some miracle were about right, and when she pulled them on, they hung on her legs completely differently to the others that she owned. Shoving her hands in the pockets, the movement felt natural, to have enough room to do that a novelty. It felt good. After debating which t-shirt to choose, she picked up one in a shade of dark red and pulled it over her head. The last touch was to impatiently gather up her hair and shove it out of the way in a hair tie in a knot.

What are you doing?

Her eyes flashed up to the mirror, and the shock of what she saw, however fleetingly, made her suck in a breath and flinch a little.

Without the make-up she’d worn to the dance the night before, her hair looking almost short from a certain angle, chest almost completely flat and the clothes, she could have easily been taken for a boy. But that was exactly the point, wasn’t it?

I feel like me.

It was a revelation. Slowly, uncertainly, Tara smiled with no one there to see.

#( reflection ). #( glee | au ). #( franklyn & terence ). #( self para ). #para

[introvert-dragon]

Hiccupy heart (Chapter 1)

Summary:  It didn't matter that Hiccup and Astrid used to be best friends, somewhere in grade school and middle school—back when the world used to be fun before everyone hit their growth spurt and he was plus one leg and one mother. Until Hiccup finally got his soul mark; And guess who's name was it? Astrid Hofferson.

Drama/Romance. Hiccstrid. Soul mate AU.

FF.net | Ao3

A/N: Special thanks to @slavicviking for helping me beta the initial draft of the chapter.

I would like to also mention that this story being set in Highschool does not make this a Highschool AU. Also, the story will be focused equally on both Hiccup and Astrid, aiming to be a Man/Woman vs. Self before we finally get to the sweet parts.

Without further delay.

For the umpteenth time, Hiccup found himself staring at the name imprinted on his left forearm; Hiccup still couldn't believe his luck.

Astrid Hofferson

To answer his own questions of disbelief—Yes. Astrid Hofferson was his soul mate, unless, the gods decided to play a cruel prank on him, only to replace the dimly glowing blue runes on his left forearm with Astrid's complete name on it with Mildew the following morning.

It was still Astrid Hofferson.

Ha! Hiccup called it, he always had this sort of indescribable 'Pull' he felt with Astrid. It was like when he would as much as breathe the same air as Astrid—he would feel like oxygen was overrated.

As if Hiccup wasn't lucky enough. He was also going to be a father! By the way, did he mention that Astrid was going to be the mother?

Okay, that sounded all wrong—and please don't tell Astrid! She would murder him.  Also, if you could try not to mention it to her muscle-head boyfriend either—who would soon be her ex once Hiccup had shown Astrid his soul mark.

It was just a stupid economics project. No sexual intercourse; therefore, no one was actually pregnant and definitely nothing was going on between Hiccup and Astrid. After all, he was, well, Hiccup and she was Astrid—you get the idea. She was the same girl who wouldn't approach him even if she were on fire and he was holding the last bucket of water.

Unfortunately for her and luckily for him, this project was not about the worlds' water supply. The project was about being a fake married couple that was to manage a theoretical household and take care of a flour baby. Despite that, Hiccup was a hundred percent sure that he wasn't on the top of Astrid's list of potential fake husbands for a fake happily-ever-after scenario.

But Ma'am Ack's random pairing generator couldn't care less who's holding the last bucket of water on Earth. Unless, you have your soul mark, which he just had now, you were not exempted from the random pairing system as mandated by the law.

The whole soul mate thing didn’t really exist until year 1980s. Apparently, It was a Millennial only thing, even then, not everyone would be fortunate to be 'gifted by the gods' and having a soul mark was still considered to be very new. So the government mandated some laws that encouraged people to have lives beyond soul mates, and the random pairing system for academics was one of them.

But Hiccup was busy staring at his soul mark (for like… the whole day), instead of paying attention to the class. And after he was done staring at it, he would blink his eyes and proceed to stare at it again, and again... and again.

He just heard Ma'am Ack loudly announcing his horrendous name next to Astrid's beautiful one.

He was confused for a moment until he looked forward and saw 'Economics Project - Documentation' and '40% of the grade' in the slideshow. He realized it was the dreaded 'Fake Parent' and 'Flour Baby' thing every senior student had been dreading ever since the beginning of the school year.

He almost jumped on top of his table and cried in victory. Thankfully, he managed to contain himself—he wasn't that bold.

Murmurs and hushed whispers filled the classroom as the other students looked around in confusion. A few "who the heck is Hiccup Haddock"s and mentions of "how lucky he was" echoed as the classmates discussed the announcement among each other.

Their reaction was, basically, a confirmation from everyone how much his non-existent high school life sucked ass. It was not like he didn't have any friends, it was just his social status when compared to Astrid's, it was a matter of Valhalla and Helheim. But he couldn't care less what his classmates thought. After all, it was HIM who was not only paired with the hottest girl in school but, also soul mates with her—not them.

Hiccup waited for far too long for something this cliché to finally happen to him. Eighteen long years of his life, he finally got his soul mark and found his soul mate. And to think that she was always so close to him.

All he had to do now was say hi to her, but when he was about to, there was something about her expression that kept him rooted in place.

There was something about scowl on her beautiful face, trying not to show even the slightest bit of recognition upon hearing his name... or maybe she just didn't care – at least he hoped, which wasn't much better. He didn't know which one he preferred to be honest.

There was no mistaking it, Hiccup recognized that look on her face.

She always knew

—and he didn't dare think what followed the thought: She always knew (and she didn't want it... She didn't want to be your soul mate.)

It didn't matter that Hiccup and Astrid used to be best friends, somewhere in grade school and middle school—back when the world used to be fun before everyone hit their growth spurt and he was plus one leg and one mother.

Hiccup still hadn't figured out what happened to their friendship. Astrid started distancing herself from him. He didn't dare to try and decipher what was going on with the girls' mind. He'd heard enough stories from both Gobber and his father about the horrors of it.

Hiccup was a good friend and Astrid was his best friend (also, not so secretly, a crush). He decided he would just give her some space and in no time they'd get back to hanging out in their clubhouse.

He waited and… waited some more.

It didn't happen.

Now he understood.

She always knew.

But now... Hiccup felt so stupid. Even though he didn't pick the person he fell-in-love with, his heart did; ever since the day they exchanged lollipop rings and made a pinky promise to get married when they grew up. They were Eight then.

Hiccup always had this irrational, unrequited crush on Astrid, him clinging to some semblance of hope that maybe—just maybe—there was a chance, as slim as it was. All he hoped for was that she would at least acknowledge him—even if it was only for old times' sake. He also hoped that fate would take over thing from there for Hiccup. Astrid would realize that she was dating the wrong guy all along. And then he, Hiccup, her soul mate, would come —her one-legged knight with his shiny, metal leg.

She always knew.

Years of watching Astrid Hofferson from the sidelines, like puzzle pieces, flashes of images started flowing in his mind.

(Why she always had a bandage on her left forearm, the very same spot as his soul mark.

Or how venomous she glares at her watch every time she checked the time. It wasn't about the time, after all, it was about his name etched on her skin.)

A mixture of irrational, red emotions erupted inside him, fully burning him. There was a throbbing sensation followed by a sudden sharp hissing pain, on his left forearm, as if he felt lava leaked from his volcanic emotions dripping at his soul mark.

Deeply-rooted in his ever-so-hopeless-hiccupy-heart; a stubborn, dark thought he strongly refused to acknowledge finally crept up on him.

(It was just a stupid childhood friendship, She will never look back at you. She will never love you. Why would she? You're a 'hiccup' after all.)

She always knew

—and he should have known better.

To his surprise, Hiccup just sighed; maybe his father was right, as much as he hated to admit it. His brain was definitely under siege and he needed to stop being ... all that. He mentally gestured all of himself.

Hiccup was eighteen- enough with fantasies and time for him to grow up and face reality. Maybe it was time for him to give up on his quest of asking Astrid Hofferson to be his prom date, and maybe listen to his father's wishes of him enrolling a 'Real Degree Program' in an 'Actual University' for a start.

The bell rang, signaling that the economics class was over. Hiccup didn't feel like talking to Astrid about being paired in the project anymore. He, in his mind, did the two of them a favor and simply left the room unlike the rest of the class who stayed to talk with their partners for the project.

He could work on the project all by himself if he wanted too if allowed to, why not? He was a straight A+ student and graduating as the valedictorian was pretty much in his bag. If anyone would be qualified to finish a pair project alone, it would be him.

If ever, he was sure Astrid probably could do the same without even bothering with his input and opinion. Why wouldn't she? She was Astrid Hofferson, Hiccup thought bitterly. It was probably for the best if that happened.

Of all the possible outcomes that he fantasized, daydreamed for a million times about Astrid being his Soulmate for his whole life, which all of them involved that magical spark and click when their eyes finally met; this certainly was not the outcome he would expect—one where he would be the one to walk away.

Surprisingly, he found the idea very comforting. He actually felt better missing his once in a lifetime chance to talk with Astrid Hofferson. Just before the day started, Hiccup would die a happy knowing Astrid was his soul mate.

But now, He felt like letting go of a half-a-weight he'd always burdened. He may or may not ever feel the completely weightless feeling or 'feels like flying' sensation being with his soul mate. If his other half didn't want anything to do with him, then so be it. He wasn't going to be defined by his stupid attraction to his soul mate anymore.

For the first time in a very long time, Hiccup found himself smiling freely. Not his usual sarcastic self-deprecating smile. A real, genuine one.

It was from that moment that Hiccup's life would finally start to turn around for better or worse.

If he only knew that a certain blonde was watching him that exact moment.

Ha! Hiccup called it, he always had this sort of indescribable 'Pull' he felt with Astrid. It was like when he would as much as breathe the same air as Astrid—he would feel like oxygen was overrated.

As if Hiccup wasn't lucky enough. He was also going to be a father! By the way, did he mention that Astrid was going to be the mother?

Okay, that sounded all wrong—and please don't tell Astrid! She would murder him.  Also, if you could try not to mention it to her muscle-head boyfriend either—who would soon be her ex once Hiccup had shown Astrid his soul mark.

It was just a stupid economics project. No sexual intercourse; therefore, no one was actually pregnant and definitely nothing was going on between Hiccup and Astrid. After all, he was, well, Hiccup and she was Astrid—you get the idea. She was the same girl who wouldn't approach him even if she were on fire and he was holding the last bucket of water.

Unfortunately for her and luckily for him, this project was not about the worlds' water supply. The project was about being a fake married couple that was to manage a theoretical household and take care of a flour baby. Despite that, Hiccup was a hundred percent sure that he wasn't on the top of Astrid's list of potential fake husbands for a fake happily-ever-after scenario.

But Ma'am Ack's random pairing generator couldn't care less who's holding the last bucket of water on Earth. Unless, you have your soul mark, which he just had now, you were not exempted from the random pairing system as mandated by the law.

The whole soul mate thing didn’t really exist until year 1980s. Apparently, It was a Millennial only thing, even then, not everyone would be fortunate to be 'gifted by the gods' and having a soul mark was still considered to be very new. So the government mandated some laws that encouraged people to have lives beyond soul mates, and the random pairing system for academics was one of them.

But Hiccup was busy staring at his soul mark (for like… the whole day), instead of paying attention to the class. And after he was done staring at it, he would blink his eyes and proceed to stare at it again, and again... and again.

He just heard Ma'am Ack loudly announcing his horrendous name next to Astrid's beautiful one.

He was confused for a moment until he looked forward and saw 'Economics Project - Documentation' and '40% of the grade' in the slideshow. He realized it was the dreaded 'Fake Parent' and 'Flour Baby' thing every senior student had been dreading ever since the beginning of the school year.

He almost jumped on top of his table and cried in victory. Thankfully, he managed to contain himself—he wasn't that bold.

Murmurs and hushed whispers filled the classroom as the other students looked around in confusion. A few "who the heck is Hiccup Haddock"s and mentions of "how lucky he was" echoed as the classmates discussed the announcement among each other.

Their reaction was, basically, a confirmation from everyone how much his non-existent high school life sucked ass. It was not like he didn't have any friends, it was just his social status when compared to Astrid's, it was a matter of Valhalla and Helheim. But he couldn't care less what his classmates thought. After all, it was HIM who was not only paired with the hottest girl in school but, also soul mates with her—not them.

Hiccup waited for far too long for something this cliché to finally happen to him. Eighteen long years of his life, he finally got his soul mark and found his soul mate. And to think that she was always so close to him.

All he had to do now was say hi to her, but when he was about to, there was something about her expression that kept him rooted in place.

There was something about scowl on her beautiful face, trying not to show even the slightest bit of recognition upon hearing his name... or maybe she just didn't care – at least he hoped, which wasn't much better. He didn't know which one he preferred to be honest.

There was no mistaking it, Hiccup recognized that look on her face.

She always knew

—and he didn't dare think what followed the thought: She always knew (and she didn't want it... She didn't want to be your soul mate.)

It didn't matter that Hiccup and Astrid used to be best friends, somewhere in grade school and middle school—back when the world used to be fun before everyone hit their growth spurt and he was plus one leg and one mother.

Hiccup still hadn't figured out what happened to their friendship. Astrid started distancing herself from him. He didn't dare to try and decipher what was going on with the girls' mind. He'd heard enough stories from both Gobber and his father about the horrors of it.

Hiccup was a good friend and Astrid was his best friend (also, not so secretly, a crush). He decided he would just give her some space and in no time they'd get back to hanging out in their clubhouse.

He waited and… waited some more.

It didn't happen.

Now he understood.

She always knew.

But now... Hiccup felt so stupid. Even though he didn't pick the person he fell-in-love with, his heart did; ever since the day they exchanged lollipop rings and made a pinky promise to get married when they grew up. They were Eight then.

Hiccup always had this irrational, unrequited crush on Astrid, him clinging to some semblance of hope that maybe—just maybe—there was a chance, as slim as it was. All he hoped for was that she would at least acknowledge him—even if it was only for old times' sake. He also hoped that fate would take over thing from there for Hiccup. Astrid would realize that she was dating the wrong guy all along. And then he, Hiccup, her soul mate, would come —her one-legged knight with his shiny, metal leg.

She always knew.

Years of watching Astrid Hofferson from the sidelines, like puzzle pieces, flashes of images started flowing in his mind.

(Why she always had a bandage on her left forearm, the very same spot as his soul mark.

Or how venomous she glares at her watch every time she checked the time. It wasn't about the time, after all, it was about his name etched on her skin.)

A mixture of irrational, red emotions erupted inside him, fully burning him. There was a throbbing sensation followed by a sudden sharp hissing pain, on his left forearm, as if he felt lava leaked from his volcanic emotions dripping at his soul mark.

Deeply-rooted in his ever-so-hopeless-hiccupy-heart; a stubborn, dark thought he strongly refused to acknowledge finally crept up on him.

(It was just a stupid childhood friendship, She will never look back at you. She will never love you. Why would she? You're a 'hiccup' after all.)

She always knew

—and he should have known better.

To his surprise, Hiccup just sighed; maybe his father was right, as much as he hated to admit it. His brain was definitely under siege and he needed to stop being ... all that. He mentally gestured all of himself.

Hiccup was eighteen- enough with fantasies and time for him to grow up and face reality. Maybe it was time for him to give up on his quest of asking Astrid Hofferson to be his prom date, and maybe listen to his father's wishes of him enrolling a 'Real Degree Program' in an 'Actual University' for a start.

The bell rang, signaling that the economics class was over. Hiccup didn't feel like talking to Astrid about being paired in the project anymore. He, in his mind, did the two of them a favor and simply left the room unlike the rest of the class who stayed to talk with their partners for the project.

He could work on the project all by himself if he wanted too if allowed to, why not? He was a straight A+ student and graduating as the valedictorian was pretty much in his bag. If anyone would be qualified to finish a pair project alone, it would be him.

If ever, he was sure Astrid probably could do the same without even bothering with his input and opinion. Why wouldn't she? She was Astrid Hofferson, Hiccup thought bitterly. It was probably for the best if that happened.

Of all the possible outcomes that he fantasized, daydreamed for a million times about Astrid being his Soulmate for his whole life, which all of them involved that magical spark and click when their eyes finally met; this certainly was not the outcome he would expect - One where he would be the one to walk away.

Surprisingly, he found the idea very comforting. He actually felt better missing his once in a lifetime chance to talk with Astrid Hofferson. Just before the day started, Hiccup would die a happy knowing Astrid was his soul mate.

But now, He felt like letting go of a half-a-weight he'd always burdened. He may or may not ever feel the completely weightless feeling or 'feels like flying' sensation being with his soul mate. If his other half didn't want anything to do with him, then so be it. He wasn't going to be defined by his stupid attraction to his soul mate anymore.

For the first time in a very long time, Hiccup found himself smiling freely. Not his usual sarcastic self-deprecating smile. A real, genuine one.

It was from that moment that Hiccup's life would finally start to turn around for better or worse.

If he only knew that a certain blonde was watching him that exact moment.

#httyd #hiccstrid #hiccup #astrid #httyd fanfic #httyd fanfiction #my writing #modern au #soulmate au