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romanceboys · 3 years

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(interview) gq korea february issue 2021 — shinee minho “i’m still as passionate as ever”

1. i heard that your schedule ran until dawn today. you still look energetic. no matter how exhausted i am, my condition improves once i wake up and take a shower. because it’s like the usual morning routine. 2. you take pride in the fact that your stamina is second to none, right? it reminded me of something you said long ago. i wouldn’t go as far as to say that it’s my pride, but i do know my stamina is stronger than most. my energetic appearance is my positive characteristic as well. 3. moreover, it hasn’t been long since you were discharged from the marines. well, it seems like my stamina has gotten better. hahaha. 4. there must be a lot that you want to do. what do you enjoy doing the most these days? since it’s not the kind of situation where i can roam about freely, i’ve been spending a lot of time with my family. i was with them on christmas and new year’s. i’d barely done this since debut so i think it was a good thing. even in the military, i missed my people the most. 5. that must be why on the day of your discharge you made a surprise appearance at taemin’s music broadcast waiting room. in your military uniform. i rushed straight from pohang. the shinee members were gathered to support taemin, and the staff that had been with us for over ten years was present too. when i looked back on shinee’s activities in the military, the very fun and enjoyable memories felt vague, but on that day they became clear to me right away. this is why we’ve continued together for so long. 6. what do you talk about with your members? since we’re currently preparing for our album, we’ve been talking about us as a team a lot. things like shinee’s (future) direction and what we ought to show. 7. did you figure something out? up till now shinee has often attempted unique and novel challenges, musically and stylistically. there were times when things were derived from what we did first, or even times when we had to question ourselves “is this okay?” before taking a bold step. but because we're an idol group, we folded under inevitable stereotypes and could not ignore them. however, we now collectively agree on preserving our artistic aspect well in order to show off a more distinct musical colour. 8. agreed. can you tell us which song represents shinee’s identity? the title track of the 4th album ‘view’ was shinee’s turning point. prior to this, the group was mostly known for its strength in performance, but through this song we were able to show the type of musical colour we pursued. we tried deep house at a time when the genre was unknown to k-pop and though it was not done without reservations, we got the response we expected. it’s basically what the entire (odd) album stands for. 9. besides music or performance, is there any other scene that can portray shinee well? having overcome many obstacles, we can’t define ourselves simply by saying ‘yes, this is us.’ rather, if there were to be a documentary made on shinee, i wonder how it’d be like to have the opening scene unveil the members’ perfectly human state instead of their moments of glory. for instance, saying whatever i want to without hesitation. without worrying, without walking on eggshells. 10. are you a quiet person? though i do joke around easily, i try to be careful with my words. i’m more of a listener than a talker. 11. you lived entirely as choi minho in the military. did you live true to yourself or were you able to discover a new side? it’s both. i had a lot of time for introspection. i reflected on the time spent and thought about what was good or disappointing, it unveiled a side of me that i hadn’t even considered while working as shinee minho. rather than saying it changed me, i was able to understand myself more definitively as a person. what i could be honest about and careful with with people became clear to me, i also realised that my strengths can become my weaknesses. 12. what made you think that? i thought i had an outgoing personality, but in retrospect i was more concerned about the people around me than myself. the other party can only be at ease if i’m comfortable... i was so busy being considerate that i ended up becoming stressed without realising. 13. an upright and serious image comes to mind when we say minho, turns out there was a complicated reason for it. it’s because i wasn’t even aware of it. i believe it’s something i need to work on to become a better person. this is also why i’m looking forward to my thirties. i’m curious about the areas i’ll mature in. 14. among the expressions that describe minho are passion and giving it your all. when do you think was your most passionate era? when i debuted as shinee, practicing blindly and then promoting made me feel like i was lacking a lot which affected my confidence. after our first concert, however, i became less anxious and worried. i realised that there were many fans who supported me. all i could think of was that i had to give it my best. my passion from back then is still the same as ever. it’s my understanding that i’ve come all the way to the present without cooling down. 15. what meaning does passion hold for you? does it mean that you’re very ambitious/greedy? i used to think passion and ambition meant the same thing. i was very certain that you could achieve anything if you were ambitious enough and worked hard. i hypnotized myself into believing that because i wanted it so badly, not because i was being reckless. as i started gaining more experience, i began to differentiate between the two. if passion means doing what you can to the best of your abilities, then greed is limiting yourself when you try something new because you wonder whether you can do it well. and that is why confidence is important. if you’re confident, then you can carry greed with a positive energy. 16. have you now gotten used to acting and promoting as shinee at the same time? at first i thought i could do it even if it was difficult. turns out that wasn’t the case. killing two birds with one stone wasn’t as easy as i thought. i don’t want to let either go. instead of saying yes it’s hard or i’m disappointed in the results, i believe this is a problem i need to solve. 17. your first activity after discharge was acting. you made a special appearance in the drama ‘lovestruck in the city,’ what was your first line? “please wear this.” i cannot forget it. 18. why not? one of my favourite words is ‘first.’ your first experiences are always unforgettable. seconds are usually a vague memory. that’s why firsts are extremely meaningful. standing before the camera for the first time after discharge felt like i was starting anew. the scene wasn’t even that hard, but i was very nervous. just like the first time i acted, i vividly remember the day’s situation, people, the atmosphere, and the weather. 19. do you remember your first scene as well? it’s been more than a decade. it was a one-episode short drama; the scene was filmed inside a tow truck. i don’t remember my line very well, but the actors, the hustle and bustle of the staff outside the window, the glaring sunlight, the tow truck i sat in for the first time are all still very vivid. i try not to forget it. 20. do you remember the first praise you received for your acting? hm, many people around me say nice things, but i’ve never considered those as compliments. it’s because i don’t think i’ve done anything praiseworthy yet. so let’s just say my first praise doesn’t exist for now. 21. that is a very objective yet cool answer. then what do you think is something you need courage to do? everyday things.... like cooking. i can’t bring myself to even think about it, but i should attempt it before it’s too late. 22. by the way, you started sns. you did say in an interview that you did not see the need for socials, so what changed your mind? i received so many letters from fans in the military. i read every single one of them, and in most of them fans asked me to share my daily life through sns. though i did joke around saying that i’d rather hold a personal photo exhibition than create socials, i got one as a present for fans who spent two years waiting for me. but i’m not sure if i can manage it well. 23. do you tend to record your personal life through pictures like others? haha. not at all. i’m working towards it these days. 24. when was your sns profile picture taken? when i was three or four years old. i racked my brain over this too. whether to upload a sefie or to go for a cool vibe.

translated by romanceboys — take out with full credit (source)

#shinee #minho #interview #210121 #translations #gq korea february issue 2021 #e:the story of light epilogue

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dialovers-translations · 3 years

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DIABOLIK LOVERS Do-S Kyuuketsu VERSUS Ⅱ Vol.6 Yuma VS Azusa [TRACK 5]

Original title: レゾンデートル

Source: Diabolik Lovers VERSUS II Vol. 6 Yuma VS Azusa [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Tatsuhisa Suzuki & Kishio Daisuke

Translator’s note: I think I have said this before when translating his Bloody Bouquet CD, but Yuma gives the best pep talks. Out of all the DL characters, he really seems the most down-to-earth and reasonable when it comes to both accepting and expressing his emotions. All of the others are conflicted or too stubborn to admit how they truly feel, but Yuma has very little filters and that’s honestly what I appreciate about him. It makes for such a nice change of pace.

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 ll Track 6

→ LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 5: Raison D’être

*CRASH*

Yuma enters the room.

Yuma: ...That damn door finally opened up. Listen up...Unlike ya guys, I can’t enter this room through that narrow well. ‘Cause of that, it took me a while to bust inside of here.

Azusa: Yuma...I thought you went to see Ruki?

Yuma: I got kinda worried. That maybe you’d totally lose your mind from the lunar eclipse and that Sow over there wouldn’t make it out alive.

*Rustle*

Yuma: ーー And sure enough. Who said he wouldn’t do anythin’, huh?

Azusa: ...!

Yuma walks up to you.

Yuma: Oi, everythin’ alright? I figured ya might have lost an arm or a leg, but Azusa seems to be the one injured instead. The fuck’s goin’ on?

*Rustle*

Yuma: By the way, Azusa. You’re still spoutin’ that bullshit, huh?

Azusa: What do...you mean?

Yuma: Don’t play dumb. You know, the stuff where you’d ask us to hurt ya. ...Geez, keep that kinda fucked up shit to the bare minimum already, won’t ya?

Azusa: You just don’t...understand.

Yuma: Haahn!?

Azusa: I’m different from you. I’m utterly useless...nor can I ever be of use. On top of that, I’m always...strange, as if someone has taken control of my brain. I thought that I could finally become normal thanks to the eclipse...

Yuma: That’s not true...!

Azusa: Getting hurt...is where my value lies. Right, Eve?

Yuma: Haahー!?

Azusa: That’s the only value I have in life so...Why? Yuma...Why am I jealous of you?

Yuma: Che...I don’t have a fuckin’ clue whatcha talkin’ ‘bout, mate.

Azusa: This is strange...It makes no sense. I want to blame it all on the moon but...When you look at or are hurt by Yuma...This strong anger wells up inside of me...and my chest aches...I feel like I’m going crazy...Bearing the pain is what makes me valid. I’m well aware of this butーー This pain in particular, is hard to endure...

Yuma...! Is the little voice in my head responsible for this as well!? He makes me believe that...Eve belongs only to me. I can’t stop it. Even though I’m so utterly useless...Even though I can never become Adam...Still, Iーー

He looks over at you.

Azusa: I want to keep Eve...all for myself.

*Rustle*

Azusa: I...want you.

Yuma: Honestly, I really don’t get ya. To be blunt, you’re the type of guy I have a hard time dealin’ with. Both now and in the past. ...Anyway, don’t ya think it’s ‘bout time ya understand this? Ruki told ya as well, no? We’re brothers. While we may have different roles to fulfill in the family, there’s no hierarchy between us.

Azusa: ...

Yuma: Try and remember the time at the orphanage. Bet ya can’t forget ‘bout it even if ya wanted to? All of us received the same shit treatment. We were all equally punched and hurt.

Azusa: But...!

Yuma: No but’s or however’s! You’re the only one of us who still clings to the concept of a hierarchy...! Your current life is completely different from the one you led back when living at the wanderers’ camp! ...So gettin’ jealous...or wantin’ to hog the Sow all for yerself...is totally valid.

Azusa: ...! Yuma...?

*Rustle*

Yuma: But ya know, she’s the one thing I can’t just hand over to ya. Desire isn’t somethin’ ya can control through reason.

Azusa: Desire...?

Yuma: It’s the same as wantin’ to eat. Ya can’t suppress it.

Azusa: But...Up till now...I’ve never thought like this...

Yuma: Is that truly so? ...Well, I’m not ya, so I can’t tell for sure whether ya felt it as strong or not, but I guess people just differ? ーー Say...

Yuma suddenly pulls you close.

*Rustle*

Yuma: Isn’t that true? ...Well, I honestly don’t think it’s worth stressin’ yerself out over it. Don’t ya think this lil’ voice in yer head ya keep on talkin’ ‘bout...is actually just yer own feelings speakin’?

Azusa: My...own?

Yuma: Yeah. Ya think way too much ‘bout stuff like ‘bein’ useful’ or ‘the reason behind yer existence’...In reality, there’s nothin’ wrong with ya at all. It’s normal to exist.

Ruki: Ruki and...Kou too? Do they feel the same way?

Yuma: ...Ya better not say that in their faces. You’re gonna get smacked on the head. You’re crazy ‘cause ya keep on restrainin’ yerself. Notice that already. Right here...There’s nobody who would get a kick out of hurtin’ ya...

Azusa: ...T-Then...This pain in my chest can...just stay the way it is...?

Yuma: Ya like pain, don’t ya? Just accept it. ...Besides, if it’s makin’ ya uncomfortable, then try and do somethin’ ‘bout it.

Yuma hugs you close.

*Rustle rustle*

Yuma: My bad but...Ya might have to try and steal her away from me. If ya do that, the pain might just fade away.

*Smooch*

Azusa: Oh...Steal? Can I...? Do I have the right to...?

Yuma: Idiot. That isn’t somethin’ ya need my permission for. However, she’s mine.

Azusa: You can’t...Eve...belongs to me.

Yuma: God...Ya really are stubborn after all. But it’s also fascinatin’. Makes it worth takin’ her from ya after all. Mmh...

*Smooch*

Azusa: ...I don’t think I can grow to like this pain so...I need her.

Yuma: I see. Fine by me. Bring it on. Let’s have her decide which one of us she prefers. Of course...

*Rustle*

Yuma: ーー With these bad boys.

Yuma bites you.

Yuma: Nn...Mmh...

Azusa: You can’t, Yuma...She is...mine Eve. Come on, don’t face his way. Look at me...If you won’t, I’ll do this...

Azusa bites you as well.

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp*

Yuma: Nice expression you’re rockin’ there, Sow...How does it feel to have two Vampires toy with ya at the same time? Hehe...

Azusa: Haah...Eve...Does it hurt? Or does it feel good? ...I’ll make you feel even better.

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp*

Azusa: Mmh...

*Gulp gulp*

Yuma: Oi, oi, Azusa...With that sorta technique, you’ll only tickle her a lil’. This is what a...real bite looks like! Haahn...

*Sluuuuurp*

Yuma: ...Hahー! ...See? Seems like she feels so good, she’s at a total loss for words. Hahn...Mmh...

*Sluuuuurp*

Azusa: It’s not just about strength...Say? I know where it feels good for you...I’ll pierce you with my fangs exactly there...Haahn...

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp*

Azusa: Mm...

*Gulp*

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp*

*Sluuuuurp*

Azusa: Nn...Haah...Look this way, Eve...It feels good, doesn’t it? Let’s...kiss. Mmh...Nn...

*Smooch*

Azusa: Nn...

*Smooch*

Yuma: Borin’...For one, you’ve never been this fixated on her before, have ya?

Azusa: ...Haah...Today is...special. However, when I think about it... I might have actually...been obsessed with her this whole time. I simply didn’t realize...but thanks to the moon, it became clear...Mmh...

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp gulp*

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp*

Azusa: Mmh...

*Sluuuuurp*

Yuma: Come on...Gimme some as well...Hahn...

*Sluuuuurp*

Yuma: Mmh...Nn...Ya better don’t let that guys’ words get to ya too much...Nnh...

*Sluuuuurp*

Azusa: No fair...Yuma...You can’t just hog her for yourself...

Yuma: Shut up! I don’t take orders from anyone!

Azusa: ...Eve...Do you like Yuma’s that much? However, mine are good too, you know...I mean, look...My fangs fit you so perfectly, they can give you the pain you desire at once. Haah...

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp gulp*

Yuma: Ahn? Bein’ a lil’ cheeky there, aren’t ya?

*Sluuuuurp*

Yuma: Ah...This is bad...I said that but...Haah...It kinda sounds like I’m tryin’ to tell ya to hold yerself back, huh? That’s weird...

Azusa: I don’t care if it’s cheeky or not...I love Eve...Mmh...

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp*

Yuma: Che...Annoyin’...That kinda sappy stuff isn’t for me.

*Rustle*

Yuma: I’ll use my fangs...to have her confess her feelings for me.

Azusa: I wonder who will achieve that faster?

Yuma: Sow...Say you love me...

*Rustle*

Azusa: Eve obviously loves me more...Right? You do, don’t you? Of course you do...Mmh...

*Gulp gulp*

Yuma: Ah yeah, yeah. Just tell yerself that. ...Come on, Sow. Don’t get distracted by him.

*Sluuuuurp*

The two of them continue sucking your blood.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #yuma mukami #azusa mukami #diabolik lovers VERSUS II #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

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moonflower-31 · 4 years

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I Won't Forget You - Spencer Reid x Reader

(This is gonna be a series, so keep an eye out for this one if you like it.)

Summary: So imagine you're in the CM universe if you will. And you're just graduating from the academy. You're looking to join the BAU. You have hyperthymesia, the ability to never forget anything. Except for rare occasions. After the final exam, you run into one Dr. Spencer Reid. Eventually, you get accepted to shadow the BAU on a trial run as an agent. But you have a past that may endanger those you work with. Also, you love Spencer. Cause who doesn't?

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader (this makes sense only for storyline, sorry 😞)

Masterlist

Please leave comments! I love reading them ❤ 💕

~~~~~~~~

Nervous. So dreadfully nervous you were and am. But here we are. No turning back now.

"Hello, cadets. And welcome to your final exam for your graduation. We hope all of you do well. The FBI, as you know, has many branches. 56, to be exact. We hope that for those of you who pass, that you'll find your calling in one of our offices. For those of you who don't, don't fret. We always allow you to retake the last semester and the exams. The FBI is in desperate need of new agents." The speaker in front of me is seriously loud. Though you don't dare speak up about it.

Associate Deputy Director Gail Franklin spoke with such elegance. She obviously has had practice, you think to yourself as you watch the grey-haired woman speak atop the raised portion of the testing room. You couldn't count how many people even if you tried. And you don't forget anything.

"Psst!"

You groan quietly and try to ignore your idiot but golden-hearted friend who couldn't sit still.

"Psst! (Y/N)!"

You ignore him again, focusing on Franklin's closing commentary.

"I wish you all good luck. Please refrain from beginning your exam until all test-takers have received their tests. Thank you." She then proceeded to turn and begin her trek out of the room, the click of her heels being the only reminder she was even here.

"Psst-! Come on, (Y/N/N)!"

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. Finally, you turn your head and give your dear friend a very annoyed look. "What is it, Gabe? Like seriously, you couldn't sit still through one teansy tiny lecture? From the ADD herself?" You tease, pulling out a #2 pencil from your bag. Sure, most everyone will be using pens, but you remembered that the test scanners prefered graphite.

Gabriel whined teasingly at your jap. "No fair, (Y/N/N)! I just wanted to talk to one of my best friends. That too much to ask?" He sassily remarks, flipping his floppy golden-brown hair.

You rolled your eyes and couldn't help but feel a smile form on your face. You loved him like a brother. But that also meant he annoyed you like one too.

"You couldn't have waited till she was done?" You couldn't help but question him further. It was one of his weaker points. Under pressure, he tended to get uncomfortable.

"Nope." Popping the 'p' he blew a kiss at you. "Anyway, how prepared do you think you are for this test? I almost made it an all-nighter trying to cram everything in again. Fuck me and my terrible memory." You grinned and giggled under your hand.

"Gabriel, I told you, if you ever needed help studying I would be there. You're gonna do fine."

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Easy for you to say. You didn't even have to study with that god-given gift of a memory you got."

You bite the inside of your cheek, faking a slight chuckle. Everyone thought remembering everything was a superpower. Sure, if you call superpowered headaches and occasional dizzy spells a super-side-effect.��

So, yes, you had the 'gift' of having hyperthymesia. The disorder where you never forgot anything. Of course, there were a few rare occasions, like you could only remember a handful of memories from before you were four. But other than that, you had nothing from your earliest childhood. It made you feel semi-normal.

"It isn't a gift, Gabe. It's only a gift in the academic field. And I'm lucky to have a 'genius' IQ." You huffed in response to Gabriel's little comment.

"Yeah yeah, but you have a filing cabinet for a memory. So why study? You have it all up there." He asks, taking the test packet from the assistant that had finally made it to him.

"Studying, as a science, is a great way to improve your memory, quicken your speed of processing data and important information, and you stretch your mind's capacity for learning. Also it helps me understand a topic better. Just like anyone else."

You take the packet from the assistant and widen your eyes slightly at the size. It was massive. At least the size of your tiniest textbook. You could almost hear Gabriel whimper next to you as he saw how big the packet was. At least you all had three and a half hours. And it wasn't required to get through all of them. Just try to do your best on the written response ones.

You turn to Gabriel and hold out your fist. "Good luck."

Gabriel sighed and gave you a smile before pumping his fist gently against yours. Soon after he made a dramatic explosion noise that only you could hear. You roll your eyes and shake your head again, turning your full attention finally to the large test in front of you.

Here goes nothing, you tell yourself.

○●♡●○

Remarkably, you think you did okay. Of course, you finished the test in the first hour and a half, but who's counting? Certainly not you.

You rub your aching wrists from so much essay work as you exit the testing room. Even with an unbeatable memory like yours, your hands were still human. So they hurt like a bitch.

You sigh and take a quick seat on the bench outside the room, probably sticking out like a sore thumb in a crowd of other cadets who weren't in your graduating class. But you tried not to pay it any mind. You were used to being the 'odd man out'.

You check your phone and smile down at the message your other friend, Iris, had sent you. She wasn't testing for the FBI like you and Gabe. No she was a barista with some mean skills at mixing new drinks. She wanted to open her own cafe and Gabriel and you wanted to support her. She'd been there for you every second of the last five years. You owed her at least a little thanks.

When you look up, you couldn't help but notice a tall, lanky looking man with long, curly hair walking towards you as he looked for…something. You couldn't tell. Probably a map. He had a gun holstered on the side of his belt along with a blurry ID you couldn't read from so far away. But it looked like it said FBI.

You stifled a soft snicker. This guy could say he was a teacher's assistant and if he didn't have the gun on him, you would've believed him.

And that's when you caught his eye and instantly you recognized who this lost puppy was. More specifically, who he belonged to.

"Hi, uh I'm Dr. Spe-" he began, looking a bit nervous as he began to introduce himself.

"Dr. Spencer Reid. From the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I've heard of you." You accidentally interrupt. "Sorry. I don't forget names easily. I don't forget them ever, really."

Nervously, you rub your hand on your neck, waiting for his response. And surprisingly, it wasn't one you expected.

Spencer widened his eyes a bit in wonder that someone knew of him that he hadn't met before on a case. And she knew which branch he worked in. He blushed a bit, growing a tad tongue tied.

"S-sorry, I'm Cadet (L/N)."

Spencer raised an eyebrow. He wondered why you didn't give him your first name. But he didn't pry. It was your personal business. And besides, it wasn't like he needed to know your first name.

"U-uh yeah, actually. I-I wanted to ask you if you knew where I could get a glimpse of a map. Just so I can find my way around. I'm here for a 'lecture' that I'm helping give the graduating class of FBI agents." He couldn't help but brag a tiny bit. "It doesn't start for another 3 hours, but I like to be prepared."

You smiled up at this tall nerd. And an incredibly cute one at that. He was so out of place you sympathized with him. He was basically you. In like, every academic scene you've ever been in.

"Understandable. I'll be seeing you there hopefully. I'm a part of that class." You grinned. "But yeah, here's the map," you say, pulling up a digital map on your phone. Spencer leaned over your shoulder and looked it over. You couldn't help but shiver slightly at the sound of his breathing so close to your ear. It felt eerily calming.

"Really?" He asked after he pulled away from your shoulder. "T-thank you for the map, by the way." He adds last-minute. You giggle gently and nod.

"Yep. The test only started an hour and about 45 minutes ago, so I gotta wait a little while." Groaning playfully you shrug at him, crossing your arms to get more comfortable. You wouldn't lie, he was seriously cute. Of course, you'd seen him before on your secret internet dives. But in-person was so much better than sitting behind a screen gawking over a photo. An ID photo no less.

"You already finished?"

There it was. The immediate doubt of your intelligence everyone had when you accidentally showed your smarts. You sighed. "Yeah. Kinda hard not to with an IQ of 167 and a memory that pretty much never fails." You shrugged nervously, looking away as you braced yourself for his incoming doubt.

"Oh. Hyperthymesia, right?" He inquires. You blink a few times and look at him like he just said something so foreign you didn't know how to respond.

"U-uh...y-yeah. It's rare, but I got it. How'd you know?"

"It was more of an educated guess. See, you bite the inside of your cheek when you're nervous," he points out. You in fact, were biting your cheek as he spoke. "And you seem unintimidated by me despite knowing of my position. You only grew nervous when I mentioned anything academic. Which proves to me you're used to being the smartest kid in the room. And having to explain why every time." He finishes, leaving you a gigantic puddle of impressed and embarrassed that he had profiled all of that from only a few minutes from conversation.

"Geez, didn't expect to get profiled today. You're really good at it, you know. Well, I mean you would be. 'Cause you w-work for the BAU." You begin to ramble, groaning internally for suddenly turning into an awkward blob in front of this professional.

Spencer smiled a bit wider and let out a soft laugh. "So, y-you want to work for the BAU?"

You look at him puzzled for a moment before you remember that he'd been profiling you for the past five or so minutes. "Right, profiler…" you mutter. "Y-yeah. It's kinda been a dream of mine for years. Police officer never really appealed to me. I wanted to get into the real deal. Catch the hard criminals. Give myself a challenge, you know?" You rattle off, realizing just how comfortable you'd grown to Spencer in the short conversation you've had.

Spencer nodded. "It was always a dream of mine as well. I was kinda groomed for it." He admitted. "S-so… any jitters at all? Did you know that t-the common feeling of nervousness or 'butterflies' is actually caused by the reduced blood flow to the abdomen. Your stomach's sensory nerves sense the lack of oxygen and blood and it produces the fluttery feeling you get before a test or before a big performance."

You smile brighter. "Really? I never thought of that. I always just thought it was a signal your brain sent or something. That's interesting. I'm kinda glad I won't forget that."

Spencer felt his surprise increase again. You hadn't cut him off. There was no 'Sorry I asked' or awkward asking if he always did this. You actually listened. And you wanted to hear more! He didn't think he'd ever find someone willing to listen.

"H-heh…" Spencer chuckled. "W-well did you know that most people will forget 50 percent of the information you've been taught in one hour will be forgotten? A-and in 24 hours more than 75% of the information is gone. That's why studying is so important. It helps retain that information so it doesn't 'slip' as easily." He begins to rattle off again, quite glad he found someone who actually wanted to hear his statistics. It was a good cover for his nervousness about talking to this incredibly gorgeous woman.

You tilt your head in interest, laughing gently. "That's what I keep saying! Yet everyone always asks 'Why study if you remember everything?'" You exclaim, making a whiny voice expression for the impression of absolutely every bully you'd had ever.

A darker skinned man, who was much more gifted physically walked over as you and Spencer continued your conversation. He wrapped an arm around Spencer teasingly and nodded to you.

"Hope this pretty boy ain't bothering you baby girl." He greets. "He's great once you get to know him."

Spencer just looks annoyed at this man's sudden presence. "Seriously, Morgan? We were actually having a conversation before you butted in." He grumbled annoyedly. Then you remember the face. This was SSA Derek Morgan. You'd seen him in some pictures with Spencer. He wasn't too bad looking. In fact, you knew Iris would climb him faster than a squirrel did a tree. But Spencer was a bit more your type.

Morgan raised an eyebrow and smirked at you. "Oh really? So now pretty boy's talking to girls?" He teases, letting Spencer free from his suffocating hold. He then extends a hand out to me. "Derek-" he started.

"Derek Morgan. SSA from the BAU. Yeah, I know about you." You grinned. He looked you up and down a bit in the same interest that Spencer had. That soon was replaced by a confident smile.

"So you know of me." He said in a clearly flirtatious tone. "Don't tell me you've been searching up my pictures in your freetime, babygirl." He flirts.

You roll your eyes and take his hand, shaking it firmly. "No, I haven't. Though I have heard of you from my classes. But if I'm honest?" You begin. "I'm really wishing I could forget that comment." You sassily respond. He laughed.

"No one ever forgets, Babygirl." He grinned.

Spencer sighed and turned to Morgan in annoyance. "Morgan." He deadpanned. You looked towards him and giggled a little. It was clear Spencer had wanted to talk to only you. Maybe it was something to do with the statistics. You had a feeling that he felt he was finally being listened to.

"What? I'm just introducing myself to one of the new cadets." He insists, raising two hands up in defeat.

"Did you just profile me without my permission?" You ask him with fake offense. He laughed.

"Did I need to ask, sweetheart?" He asks. You chuckle.

"Guess not." You shrug.

"What's your name, beautiful? A pretty face has got to have a pretty name." He flirted.

"I'm Cadet (L/N)."

Morgan raised an eyebrow, fully ready to ask why the hold-up on your first name when Spencer thankfully saved you an explanation.

"She didn't share it with me either. Probably a mode of trust." He explains. Morgan shrugged.

"I'll find out eventually. You'll give it away." He insists.

"Uh huh, sure I will." You tease.

"Reid, Morgan, we need to prepare." You hear a third voice call the two men away from you. You stand a bit on your tiptoes to get a good look at who it was that was speaking.

Aaron Hotchner walked towards the three of you almost with a purpose. So much confidence in one man.

"Who is this?" He asked.

"I'm Cadet (L/N), Agent Hotchner. It's a pleasure to meet you." You greet, holding out a hand to him. Hotch raised an eyebrow at you in interest before shaking your hand in earnest.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well. I've heard of your excellent grades and work in your studies. I hope to see you among the enlistees requesting the BAU." He greets, letting his hand fall back to his side.

"That's the plan, Agent Hotchner." You chip pleasantly. Morgan seems genuinely surprised.

"Wait, you're interested in the BAU? Profile me." He insisted. You blush from the sudden spotlight.

"W-what?" You ask.

"Morgan, that's enough." Hotch warns.

"Leave her alone, Morgan." Spencer expressed.

"No, it's fine." You assure. "Well, from the looks of your attire compared to your colleagues, I'd say you hate wearing formal clothing. Prefer to be comfortable. Your consistent flirty personality is mostly a show, as you wouldn't really flirt with someone you just met the way you flirted with me. So you either have someone in mind, or have a partner at home. And besides that, the way you greeted Dr. Reid proves you think of him as a younger brother, and you treat him like the brother you never had." You finished, a pleading voice in the back of your head screaming at you in hopes that you hadn't gone too far.

Instead of being offended, Morgan began to smile and grinned, clearly impressed. "She's actually pretty good." He comments to Hotch, glancing to Spencer and then back to you. "You'd make a good profiler." He compliments. You smile happily and full of relief at him.

"I sure hope so. Anyway, you should probably get going to the auditorium. The mics are a pain to tune and figure out, so I'd get it done now." You giggle slightly.

Spencer nodded and smiled at you. "T-thank you, again. Cadet (L/N)."

You couldn't help but blush a tad as he said your title. "Of course, Dr. Reid. Anytime you need directions." You tease.

Morgan raised an eyebrow. "What about me?" He teased back. You mock think about it for a moment before you reply.

"Sorry, I think you can figure it out, pretty boy." You joke, winking at him. He smiled brightly at your sass, chuckling a bit.

Hotch then got your attention very easily. "It was a pleasure to meet you again, (L/N)."

"You too. Good luck on the lecture." You bid them all fair well and turn around to take your seat again.

"Ooh, somebody's in looove~!" You hear Gabriel sing in a sing-song voice. You chuckle and shake your head.

"I am not in love, Gabriel. You just started eying the pretty boy I was talking to. You know, handsome black guy?" You tease.

"Hmm, yeah, probably. But seriously. I saw you looking at that other kid, the professor's-aide-looking guy, like he was a mountain of sugar. And I know sugar." He teased, sipping a coke he had obviously bought after the test.

"Oh shut up. Have you heard from Iris yet?" You ask.

"Nope. She's probably busy over at The Bean. We should go visit. Tell her about your rendezvous with Mr. Teacher's aid." Gabriel snickered.

"No, we are not telling Iris anything. You know how she gets. She gets all protective, and then nobody wants to go out with me cause they're all scared of her." You groan, stealing his coke for a moment.

Gabriel smirks at you. "So you admit that you like him?" He teases. You immediately realize your mistake and groan, covering your reddening face.

Gabriel chuckled and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. "Come on, sugar-tits. Let's get out of here for a lil' bit. Come back for that 'lecture' in like an hour." He teased. You bring your hands away from your face and sigh.

Did you really like him? Maybe. It was probably just an internet crush. Nothing more. It wasn't like it could get worse.

#spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader fic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #criminal minds family #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds

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sadaakirah · 3 years

Text

Swelter : Rumour Has It

"I'll hold you to your promise, Mikasa."

Finally wrote Part 3. Thank you for reading parts 1 and 2 💗 I am terrible at summaries.

Part I / II / III

Levi wears something akin to worry on his visage when he takes in the indentations of the battle-hardened leather gear on her muscled arms slowly disappearing under white fabric.

Mikasa turns around to see her half-dressed Captain get up from the chair where she had been draped over not too long ago.

The large windows behind him usher in a cool breeze and show the crescent moon against a darkening sky.

He comes to a halt several steps before her with lighted lamp in hand; the fire flickers wildly against the cool breeze and the orange lights dance against his unreadable face.

Her calloused fingers graze over the worrisome folds between Levi's eyebrows, ironing them down into a peaceful expression placed on top of a strikingly more youthful man.

"I'll be handing this over to Armin first thing in the morning, and I'll take the day off to check out the property," her gaze points to the piece of paper on his desk. "But I trust your choice nonetheless, Captain."

"Your decision on the matter is still important."

He leaves out to me but she catches it nonetheless and offers up a genuine smile in response. A myriad of visions of home surface into her mind.

"Tell me about the house again, Captain," she asks, bending down to slip a boot on slowly.

"Two storeys, two bedrooms in the top floor, large arched windows" Levi states concisely - she thinks of a home bestowed with her embroidery, her mother's and her grandmother's -"a garden in the back and a large tree overlooking a small lake. Right, that sounds perfect," she adds, stretching her toes out in her well-worn boots.

Levi hums his approval, low in his throat.

Blue specks in his gunmetal eyes measure this Mikasa before him - bathed in an afterglow, the embers of light reflected on the sheen of her forehead, with her loosened tongue, loosened limbs.

"Enough space for the beginnings of a humble tea shop downstairs, and there's a tea plantation nearby."

Just like the plans he had told her about 5 months ago, when they found each other awake after the nightmares failed to let sleep take them, right after she had divulged wanting to settle down far from the walls, with a small cottage and a flower garden and an aging tree to look over her aging self and her house.

It became difficult for Levi to reconcile the image of the better half of Humanity's Strongest leading a simple, predictable life, alone and with all the time in her world to ponder about the blood on her hands as her mind flips through well-archived nightmare fodder.

So instead of telling her that he cares too deeply to let her be miserable, one night under a full moon they had discussed the post-military benefits that would go into purchasing property, the climate perfect for growing tea and flora and everything under the sun except how much they would miss each other's ever-constant presence, the knowing lone figure knocking on the door at night that would keep the nightmares at bay after waking up, the cup of black tea that would appear at Levi's desk when he needed it the most, the clothes torn from training cadets that would end up magically sewn the next day when Mikasa had forgotten to take care of them.

Ever the pragmatic duo they finally settled on pooling their post-military funds together to look for a place of residence that would suit their shared needs.

"And if you do want to take responsibility, you'd be working for free for me in that teashop."

Despite herself, she looks at him, with apparent surprise that he had still been mulling over that word in his mind.

She wonders if he would name the shop Ackerman Tea and chuckles at the afterthought.

Too late in the effort of sobering herself from the afterglow, the words leave her mouth without being put through a filter first.

Her next words aren't loud, but they are true.

"I promise to take responsibility, Captain. For all my insubordination, the times you had to drag my stubborn ass away from danger, for all the times I injured you." She gathers her raven locks away from the back of her neck, where the strands clung uncomfortably, and into a small bun. "But working in your sweatshop without pay was not what I had in mind."

She pushes his soft hair back and places a tender kiss to his forehead- her lips cool againt his heated skin.

Levi's heart constricts momentarily - would he dare even think about it, the home and the peace she was offering him now?

He takes the letter into his hands again, and presses his lips together with the frustration he refuses to exhibit.

"You say that like you're the poster child of obedience now", he deadpans, instead.

This time, she tosses him an unimpressed glare, something she had picked up from years of training and learning under him.

"Could we hold a house-warming party?"

Levi shifts his gaze down to take a cursory glance at the paper, goes through the motions of reading, while Mikasa starts buttoning his shirt.

...15th Commander, Survey Corps, Armin Arlert

Levi grunts.

"I'd be more than delighted to celebrate the last day I ever have to see those brats."

She had never heard that term being uttered so affectionately by him before.

This letter is intended to serve as my official resignation...

"We can hold it under that tree. I could wear that blue dress Historia gave me."

Mikasa runs her hands over his buttoned shirt, smoothening away any creases from their bout of passion earlier today.

...two weeks from the aforementioned date...

Levi's eyes scan the slanted inked letters, till they begin to lose focus halfway down the crinkled paper.

based on my spotless record...receive an honorable discharge...

He hums his consent, but it's not a blue dress he sees.

He sees Mikasa clad in white and lace, the lights and the leaves playing with shadows across the angles of her face, while he reaches up to tuck in a lock behind her ear.

"Expect nothing less than the sharpest suit on me," Levi adds with mirth.

Mikasa thinks of her Captain, who took hold of her bloody, shaken frame, pulling her back to this world following Eren's inevitable demise, in the days when Armin and her had refused to look at one other; could not look at one another, knowing what they had done to their own family.

Mikasa thinks of the same strong arms, swaying her to the soft tunes at Armin's wedding, his muscles cascading under one of his impeccable dark suits.

She doesn't let herself think of worn-out memories spent on the coast during the war. She thinks of Levi's strong arms and Armin's softened smile and finds her own happiness in between. Those were happier days, and Levi had been there to see them with her too.

..been an honour and pride working alongside my brave comrades and superiors...

"We'll invite our closest friends and comrades."

Levi wonders if he could dance with her again, if she would let him.

He still recalls the coolness of her cheek against the crook of his neck, the gentle smile on her lips that day, as they danced with sand between their toes.

Would she wear that smile for him?

Would their comrades cheer and cause a ruckus like they had at Armin's wedding?

"Don't forget the wine."

Levi thinks of Erwin and the bottles of fine wine he had bequeathed upon him, aging away in the cellar.

Levi thinks of leaving two chairs empty - one at the head of the table and another at his left.

Mikasa's warm hand is on his hips now, as she gingerly pulls his belt through the loops, an act so affectionate, it should not have been.

He thinks of that same warm hand again, intertwined in his own, at his right side. She had always been his right hand.

He painfully wonders how many seats she would leave empty at the table if the thought had ever occurred to her, but decides to not dwell on that.

...Sincerely, Lieutenant Mikasa Ackerman.

In its stead, he thinks of a companionable silence between the two of them, one they had shared many years ago when she stopped trying to actively spite him. Mikasa humming a tune and working on her embroidery; Levi sewing the last cravat she ever ripped.

"Thank you for everything, Levi." Mikasa looks at him, setting the buckle in place.

Levi tilts his head. He's studying the number of her lashes, the seconds spanning between each blink, the quiver of her lip as she starts and stops to say something else.

The manner in which he studies her is so methodical she almost steps away.

He doesn't realize he's tracing heiroglyphs into her inner wrists until she shivers under his ministrations. It pulls Levi back to the moment.

For the first time, he decides to voice his thoughts honestly. When he speaks, he looks straight at her.

"I'll hold you to your promise, Mikasa."

Her breath hitches. Levi doesn't need to clarify which promise.

In response, she kisses him, gingerly at first, her lips molding onto his smile.

This kiss is different than before- it is softer, it is Mikasa hesitant but daring to ask for more.

Levi pulls her closer to him and pushes her against the desk this time, deepening the kiss.

Each of his touches is too deliberate, too sure and Mikasa feels her body aflame again. The kiss is now bruising.

Mikasa aligns herself to him. Her deft fingers start undoing the task they had been preoccupied with moments back. The buckle clatters and comes unfastened.

They make love slowly, cautiously.

After that they fuck at a pace so wanton, it is the second time that day that Levi screams her name without restraint.

Approved and signed...Captain Levi Ackerman.

The next morning the new cadets are unable to come to terms with Mikasa's sudden resignation notice, when they find themselves at the mercy of a balding subsitute, instead of their Lieutenant.

The next morning, Mikasa is surprised to find Levi taking the day off too. He says it is to show her around the property, to make sure she doesn't get lost as if she's some newborn babe.

But in all honestly, he wants to burn the image of Mikasa and him swaying across wooden floors, their only audience being the sunlight filtering in from the large, arched windows.

When they get back later that night, it is Armin who takes it upon himself to call Mikasa and Levi into his office, and tell them of the unsubstantiated rumours that have been making rounds among the cadets concerning Mikasa's pending resignation.

"Apparently you and the Captain fought - nothing new here - except the events concerning the incidence this time are alarming."

The Commander's grave gaze flickers from the duo in front of him, both wearing mirroring quizzical expressions of their own.

"Mikasa, some terrified cadets say they saw you throw Levi over his own desk! And Levi, another one swore she heard you screaming at Mikasa from outside your office. Is there something I should know?"

"Nosy, shitty brats", Levi mumbles under his breath.

"Pardon, Captain?"

"Nothing of that sort...happened. Unsubstantiated rumours from cadets in heat-stroke." Mikasa squeaks in, her face slightly reddening. Armin chalks that up to the summer heat.

"Alright then, I'll take your word for it."

Armin clears some documents away from his desk, and places Mikasa's resignation letter in front of the pair.

"Mikasa, you still need to submit an address before you are eligible to apply for the post-military funds."

Mikasa fishes a piece of paper containing the details of her, their, new residence, and hands it to the Commander.

Armin studies the address in his hand carefully. He looks up at her, with his features softened by a genuine smile.

"See you in Chlorba next week, Mikasa", She returns his gesture before shuffling out of his office.

"And your new address, Captain?"

Levi stalls for a second then taps his index finger twice against the paper Mikasa had left.

"Well, guess you're not carpooling with the rest of us next week, Captain".

Levi decides that leaving now would keep matters simple, and he closes the door to surface into the corridor, where he unsurprisingly finds Mikasa waiting for him.

Armin chuckles to himself slightly, happy that his best friend is in safe hands, happy that his Captain no longer keeps his own happiness at an arm's length away.

"Ah, rumours indeed."

----

Thank you so much for reading my first Rivamika fic. Your comments made my heart very happy. 💕

When and if I improve at writing, I plan on revisiting this and editing this fic a bit more.

Sure hope the Ackerman duo keep experimenting with their new dynamic from the last chapter 💦

#rivamika #mikasa ackerman #levi ackerman #rivamika fic

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timextoxhajima · 3 years

Text

Grounded: Level 2

Level 1 | Level 3

Member: Minho (Lee Know)

Genre: idol minho x idol trainee reader, angst cause is it a dana fic if there is no angst

Taglist: @licorice526 @jaehyvnsvalentine @lolwhatameme @felixn-recs

[D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 7]

There is an earth-shattering kind of pain in your chest when the staff pushes the door open into the dressing room, and your eyes are frantic to search for the one person you cared about.

The crowds force you into the spaces between their backs, legs and bodies uncomfortably, bright fluorescent lights blinding you every time you tilt your head upwards.

All you could think of was the tears that would be flowing down his face, the sheer amount of relief he’s drowning in when JYP said he would debut Stray Kids as nine.

His parent’s voice echoes through the crevices of your skull, the words repeating themselves over and over and over again.

“Minho made it.”

Your nose sours against its will, wanting nothing but to throw your arms around him and congratulate him for the one thing he had wanted for so long.

A tap comes on your shoulders and you turn to see a swollen-faced Lee Minho grinning widely at you, his parents standing proudly behind him. The muscles in your face finally give into your overwhelming feelings, for there is nothing in the world you would exchange this look of bliss and happiness on his face for.

Minho pulls you into the hug before you can respond to him, his palm flat against the back of your head as you sob your eyes out on his shoulder.

“Why do you always cry when I’m not?”

Annoyed at his cold words (though you know he’s just teasing you), he receives a slap in his chest as you pull away. “That’s cause you’ve already exhausted all your damn tears on stage, right?”

Minho sniffles, unable to stop that grin from surfacing on his lips. But your heart stops in its ribcage, unsafe from all the feelings that were diffusing through his body and into yours.

[J U N E 2 0 1 8]

Where are you when I need you?

The last beat of NCT U’s The 7th Sense drops, and so does your butt to the wooden floorboard.

Of course this mental cry for help goes unheard. The loneliness was starting to eat away at your skin, like goosebumps in the cold weather and that horrid feeling of being lost with nowhere to go.

The silence of the dance studio was on the verge of deafening you, and your reflection in the mirror looks like someone you never expected to see. You’ve lost the concept of time, because the studio is sealed. No windows, and the only way in or out is the door, and even then the nearest window was down the corridor. There’s virtually no way to tell how long you’ve been in here unless you’ve been staring at your phone.

The other female trainees had left a few hours before, and though they did offer to bring food back for you before returning to their dorms, you know it would only hinder your progress. Stopping now will ruin your momentum.

Knock knock

Your legs have long given up on you, so you could only pray that whoever comes in could read the lack of energy in your eyes when you look up.

“I’m starting to get sick of that track because of you.”

A gasp leaves your lungs as you scrambled to your feet, nearly falling over because that’s how jelly they felt. “Yeonjun!”

The tall, brown haired boy had eyebags that could carry an elephant - it was a normal sight to see nowadays, and in his hand was a plastic bag which you could immediately tell was food. The scent of that hot soup was too recognisable.

“It’s fine, sit down,” The grin on his face pulls his cheeks apart as he gently shuts the door behind him. “How long have you been here?”

Yeonjun goes to the sound system and changes the music to something else besides your practise playlist before coming over to you, gesturing you to sit.

“I walked in at 7am.”

Yeonjun freezes for some moments, eyes looking down at you with his shoulder blocking the ceiling light from your eyes. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Do I want to know what time it is?” Squinting your eyes as he shifts to sit down opposite you, the light finally getting through and interrupting your vision for a split second.

Yeonjun pulls out a disposable bowl of soup and a box of sandwiches, a chicken salad and-- honey-glazed apples.

“I’m on a no-sugar diet--”

“And you’re still on your probationary contract, not even the idol one and yet you’re spending fifteen hours in the studio?”

The revelation catches you off guard. Your last meal was a chicken salad that one of the female trainees had gotten you -- that was dinner four hours ago?

“Here,” He shoves the food across the space between you. Now, the smell was stinking up the whole studio, but you didn’t mind it one bit. Not when it’s conjuring all these weird noises from your stomach. “You’re obligated to finish at least the soup and fried chicken. I know you’re on a chicken salad diet so you can forget about that if you don’t like it.”

“Bullshit,” There was no hesitation to claim the food on the floor he’s presented to you. “I could eat a cow right now.”

“I guessed.”

Yeonjun helps open the containers, forcing the scent to waft through the stale, slightly-sweat-smelling air and through your nostrils. Your joints are on the verge of falling apart but letting yourself come apart would mean resignation.

“Were you on the way back?” You ask right before you slurp up the soup, Yeonjun picks at some of the fries that were in the same bag as the fried chicken.

“Nah, I came from the night market.”

“Oh,” The memory of honey-glazed apples flashes through your mind for a split second. A fleeting moment; too fast to process or delve into the feelings involved. “What are you working on tonight?”

“Rapping. I have an evaluation tomorrow.”

“Haven’t you been getting first for those? And shouldn’t you be resting instead of pushing yourself over the top?”

Yeonjun raises a brow at you. “For someone who’s spent God-knows-how-long in this studio, you sure have a lot of things to say.”

A bite of the honey-glazed apple melts in your mouth.

“Anyway, when’s your first monthly evaluation - or are they only going to make you do it if you sign an idol contract?”

“Probably only after I sign the idol contract.”

Yeonjun hums in response, helping you rip open the boxes of sandwiches.

“So,” He starts again after a while. “Are you going to sign it when they ask you to?”

The thought was already intimidating in your head, and Yeonjun putting it into a proper sentence only made it worse.

“Bold of you to assume they will ask me to sign an idol contract.”

“Bold of you to assume BigHit wouldn’t use you as a source of income.”

A low chuckle escapes your throat as you finish one of the honey-glazed apples.

“Seriously though,” He places down the box of sandwiches and leans back on his hands, legs stretching out and eyes landing on yours. “What are you going to do when the idol contract’s on a desk before you? You’ve been on probationary training for what? Six months now? You would’ve wasted all your time and sweat if you don’t sign that contract.”

“But do I want to remain in public scrutiny for the rest of my life though?”

“Was that what you were worried about when you first joined? Was that what went through your head when Minho joined JYP?”

The name jolts you into an uncomfortable zone. You haven’t seen him since he debuted - because that’s how busy he was. It’s like he’s got no life outside that building and in cars that bring them back and forth entertainment buildings looking pretty for a bunch of fangirls. It’s like you’ve been left alone to deal with this trainee life on your own but you don’t have a single strand of hair on you that blames Minho for the situation you are in.

You encouraged him to go for it; he encouraged you to audition for BigHit and you signed that probationary training contract. You were sitting in a pool of your own decisions, but why does it feel like you’re sitting in a pool of sad tears?

“It was Minho’s choice to sign that contract and get to where he is now, you know that, don’t you? It’ll be the same for you. It’s your life, your choice.”

“I know,” You pull the sandwiches to yourself. “I was the one who encouraged him to do it.”

Yeonjun’s silence feels prickly on your skin, mostly because he’s made you feel guilty for something that Minho would’ve probably done otherwise any way. But the boy can probably read you - he’s noticed that you literally stop functioning normally every time he brings up the person who inspired you to continue dancing and be a part of this industry.

He knows better than you try and comfort you, because that would mean he agreed. “You do realise that him becoming a celebrity was his choice and not yours? It’s his responsibility now, the same way it’ll be mine when I debut and the same way it’ll be yours if you choose to do it.”

Shoving the last bite of the sandwich into your mouth, you pray that the chewing is going to prevent the tears from being choked up.

“Why do we choose to do this to ourselves? Work till the sun rises and get barely any sleep... for what? Pretty costumes and flashing lights and no privacy?”

His breathing is a little raspy in the dry, air-conditioned room, so you look up to match his gaze. His eyes were slightly furrowed and thinking - he knows what you mean.

“Because it’s what we want for ourselves. It’s our dream to stand on the stage and perform because we love it. It’s not about the fame or the fortune - well, for some people, maybe but--”

A smile stretches across your lips.

“If you keep thinking of it this way, then this isn’t for you, y/n. I hope you’ll know what’s best for yourself.”

The smile remains on your lips but your gaze feels like its faltering. You can feel yourself zoning out from chicken salad that you’ve eaten over and over again in the last six months.

Does Minho even think about you the way you think about him?

[N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8]

“y/n!” The jolt awake is surprisingly contained; it doesn’t earn the attention of anybody else in the classroom when Hyunjin shoves you out of your day slumber.

“What do you do in that building to the point where you can’t stay awake?”

“Ugh,” The disgust is shown on your face when you discover a stray line of drool down the corner of your mouth, staining your black and yellow uniform. You wipe it off without much care and wipe it over your blazer before turning to Hyunjin. “It’s called training. I thought you’d know better.”

“And I do,” Hyunjin whispers back without looking at you, eyes plastered to the worksheet on his desk. “But I’m literally knee-deep in Get Cool promotions.”

“Your point being?” Rolling your eyes to yourself, you pick up your pen and begin copying whatever was on the whiteboard - not that they were even relevant.

“My point is: if you’re going to become an idol but you’re going to die throughout schooling while still a trainee, how are you going to survive after you debut?”

“For the record, I’m doing better than you in most our subjects. Despite me sleeping in class.”

Hyunjin mutely snarls at you, baring his teeth like he was a dog. The teacher’s sudden eye contact stuns you, but luckily the school bell comes to your rescue and Hyunjin instantaneously shuts his notebook while rushing you to fasten your steps too.

“Okay, no- I have a serious question for you,” Hyunjin has his hand out in mid-air with the other clutching the strap of his bag as the two of you make your way out of school. SOPA days were relatively short, especially when ten percent of the school’s population were either idols or idol trainees - you included (though you haven’t signed any idol contract).

“Will it warrant a kick in your nuts when you ask it?” Pulling out a bun from your bag, you stop by your locker and hold it in your mouth while unlocking the metal door.

“Maybe,” He admits, leaning against the locker. You can see from the corner of your eyes that there were other students staring at him as he walked by - it was Hwang Hyunjin! Main dancer and visual of the one-year-old group Stray Kids, and if you think public scrutiny only comes in after debut, you couldn’t be any more wrong.

BigHit’s already given you one of those lessons - don’t make your name a household name before you even debut. Unfortunately, your candid friendship with Hyunjin’s stirred up some stuff, and many facts about your life have already been made public.

BigHit trainee, ex-dance crew member for BTS with Lee Know from Stray Kids, one of the 20 girls who received the casting call, BigHit’s first female trainee who passed only through dancing. Just what do these people not know about you?

“How long has it been since you’ve met Lee Know hyung?”

The name strikes a chord in you against your wishes. Your nerves falter for a moment as you shove the textbooks back into your locker, but your system turns back online after some moments.

“Didn’t we agree not to mention his name here? Half the school already knows who I am, I don’t need them to know we actively talk about Minho.”

“No, I just-” Hyunjin watches you dump the last of your notebooks and textbooks in your locker. “I’ve never heard stories about you from Lee Know... all I remembered was you showing up at the finale and then our debut showcase.”

“And that’s the last time I met Minho in person. He’s not a great texter so let’s not have that conversation,” You shut the locker door and side-eye Hyunjin, hoping that he doesn’t pick up the pang of hurt and missing you have for Minho.

But Hwang Hyunjin isn’t emotionally unaware, is he?

“You mean to tell me that you last met Lee Know hyung at our debut showcase?”

Choosing not to engage, you take off in the opposite direction, heading for the exit of the school.

“Hey! Where are you going?!”

“BigHit!” You yell back without turning behind. “Where else?!”

“This conversation’s not over, I’m warning you!”

“Oh, boohoo!”

[D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8]

The night market is nauseatingly reminiscent, with all the wild flavours wafting about in the air and people crunching on fried Oreos or drooling over some spicy tteokbokki. It feels like you’re back home in your hometown.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t get into trouble for frolicking about in public?” Watching him pay the stall holder for the cheese fries, you cannot help but gleam at his innocent grin on his lips.

“Nah, I’ve asked Soobin if it’s alright.”

“Soobin?” A frown conquers your forehead, for you know that Soobin doesn’t exactly have the greatest power over Yeonjun. “Soobin’s literally the last person who would tell you you can’t do something.”

A cheeky grin surfaces on his lips, but not as much as his eyes whelm with mischief. “Exactly.”

“So, how long more do you have before-”

“My introduction film’s going to be released in Jan.”

A short pause at the realisation of the lack of time you have with Yeonjun before he debuts. The situation stabs you in the spine and forces chills through you - it’s happening all over again.

“If you’re worried about losing time with me, I hope you know that I’ll still try my best to come back to help you with your training if you need it.”

A dry scoff runs off your tongue, the heat from the cheese fries Yeonjun wasn’t even bothering to offer you coming out in puffs as he struggles with the temperature.

“Well, I shall be honored that BigHit’s number one trainee is willing to be my personal coach.”

Yeonjun finally stabs a fry and offers you the stick. “This personal coach is picky with who he wants to help, so be--”

The abrupt stop in his words surprises you, because he’s doing nothing but staring straight ahead of him, at the crowd.

“Yeonjun?” You wave your hand before his eyes. Yeonjun points through the crowd, beckoning you to follow his direction.

It takes you a few seconds to notice what - or who - he’s looking at as the crowd challenges your vision. Then you see a black cap and a black mask that should’ve been adequate to hide his identity - that was the purpose of that disguise anyway.

But never in a million years will you forget those feline, brown orbs.

Minho.

#skz lee know #lee know #lee minho #skz lee minho #skz minho #stray kids #skz #stray kids lee know #skz lee know scenarios #skz scenarios #lee know scenarios

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justalittletomato · 4 years

Text

Maul X Reader Drabble Part 3

Well here we are at part 3 (the last one) for this set hope you all enjoy it!

Warnings: Small mention of blood

also tag for @apocalypticwafflekitten who was excited for part 3!

Link to Part 1

https://justalittlecloud.tumblr.com/post/628405603084206080/maul-x-reader-drabble

Link to Part 2

https://justalittlecloud.tumblr.com/post/628493443068542976/maul-x-reader-drabble-part-2

Preview: Maul had never been too deep into the library, this was where y/n would retreat to, deep into the shelves of real paper and ink, y/n had curled up in her nook. Her hair cascading across the pillows she had there and fast asleep. She would look almost serene if not for the tear streaks down her cheeks.

“It seems like her sentiment was not understood.”

The lingering touches and the way she listened to him and argued with him. His knee jerk reaction at the thought of her leaving his side, and the loss he felt when she left this morning.

“Y/n what have you brought upon yourself?”

For the moment he just looked around the shelves, laws, texts that y/n had often cited during arguments and during their discussions.

“You can’t possibly feel that way,” he watched as she frowned in her sleep, ”You shouldn't”

Yes, he thought bitterly he loved her, and maybe she did as well, but Maul knew better than to let such a feeling linger. It was dangerous to think of that. He stared at her tear marks, he had never even fully answered her and she was already crying.

You’ll bring her nothing but pain, it's what you were made for.

He may want her at his side, Y/N would be a divine Lady of Mandalore, if not all he could imagine was her suffering.

Maybe she would be taken by a New Mandalorian or the Jedi would drag her away, each scenario he imagined growing worse.

Maybe she would realize that Maul couldn’t love like her, that he was incapable of it in the way she deserved. He didn’t deserve her love as much as he wanted it.

You bring nothing but pain and suffering.

As Maul struggled Y/N was having a nightmare of her own. She had been left alone again, of course there were windows each one with someone she had known, her mother, the classmates from the academy, the late duchess,with each name she said she received no answer or acknowledgment of her presence. She even tapped the glass to no avail. No one looked back at her, not even her mother. Desperation built in her heart, “Look at me please! Please just look at me!”

She shouted their names, nothing but silence.

Her fist slammed into the windows, shattered glass stabbing into her hand, but not a soul would look out.Y/N stared at the blood, not even this caught their attention.

Someone muttered behind her, Y/N looked back to see Maul closing a door behind him, the only door in a room of windows. Y/N shot up and followed after him. She winced as she jerked the door open, the glass embedding itself deeper into her palm, but she bit her lip to keep from whimpering, she would not cry in front of him.

“Maul!” Her voice betrayed her, too high and raised, sounding like she was going to break.

The man turned, as always y/n felt her face warm and heart begin to beat ever so faster at the sight of him.

Savage had made a remark once, she was like a moth to a flame,with the danger of burning herself. That warmth quickly depleted as she realized he was looking anywhere but her,

“Maul please.”

He stepped close but again it was like she was invisible, y/n could feel her composure finally break with her tears falling, “Please, not you too.” Again no sign of anything, Y/N finally had it she threw herself at him hoping that she could at least embrace him. The hard slam to the floor took her breath away but it was nothing compared to how alone she felt, Y/N curled up into herself and screamed.

In between nightmares and waking yn was sobbing, her face twisted in pain. Maul was reacting before he could stop himself trying to shake her shoulders, “Y/N it’s a dream. Y/n wake up it’s a dream.”

Had she not done the same for him once?

Y/ ec eyes blinked away tears and she focused slowly, Maul had his hands on her shoulders and stared at her in what she could only assume was concern, she gave a tiny sob, “You can see me...oh you can see me.”

If this was a dream she could do what she wanted, here was hers to do what she wished, she leaned in closer to him.

It didn’t register to him that he should have pulled away as soon as she said this, now numbed by Y/N kissing him.

It was wet, that was all he could register in that first moment, before it dawned on him how wonderful it felt, a pleasant buzz on his lips.

“Usually never feels like this.” She sighed when she pulled away, caressing his left cheek with her thumb, she looked at him and blinked, she blinked again.

This wasn't the room in her dream, this was her nook.

Maul winces as his back hits the other side of the nook Y/N has her arms out as she stands up and steps away. She backed up into a shelf, ignoring the two books that fell even as one volume nicked her shoulder, it was nothing compared to what had transpired. Her eyes had transfixed on Maul like she was cornered prey waiting for the final strike.

So this was what love had done to her, she was already hurting and all she had done was kiss him, it was almost prophetic that he could cause harm even with a kiss, it was what he was molded to do since he was a child.

Maul wouldn’t have her suffer through this, “Just forget this Y/N it won’t happen again, you have nothing to apologize for, I promise you.”

She seemed to shrink into herself even more as he said this, “ I have nothing to apologize for?”

“And while I recognize now that it is likely that I feel affections for you.” He watches as she quickly registers his words, but he pushes that feeling of warmth down, tries to drown with memories of what he was capable of. If he cared for her he would release her from this.

Y/n holds her breath, again that flicker of hope stirs in her heart and Maul can see it in her eyes. He has to end this now.

“ I refuse to let yourself waste your time.”

“ Waste my time?” She repeats, her voice far away as her heartbeat begins to ring in her ears, how she rather be invisible again.

Maul locks his eyes onto her he needs her to be the one to break this hold, “Y/N I didn’t even realize either of us felt anything till now and you were trying to show me for weeks, I never felt anything like this, I don’t even know if it should be possible. I should not be capable of it. You can't possibly love me. “

He wants her to let this go, he doesn’t want her to suffer.

Y/n tries to ignore the ringing in her ears. She has to face this, though her heart is heavy and she struggles to push through “ I can make my own choice and that choice is to love you.”

Maul looked momentarily taken back by her response, but he pushed back again.

“By condemning yourself?!That’s what you’ll be doing,” He is warning her why can’t she see that this feeling she has will only damn her.

“ What if I want to?” she holds his gaze, her heartbeat still loud in her ears while she tries to stand more upright and hold his gaze,“Damned or not I want to be at your side, I know you are going to keep pushing me away, but you know I won’t listen without a fight. `

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes for a moment, Maul watches as she begins to step closer. Y/n stands her ground and fully confesses, “I love you, “

She says it slowly and gently. He has never heard those words spoken to him. Y/n says it again, “Yes I love you and it may seem insane and foolish to you but I do.”

Maul is glaring at her, she wasn’t supposed to say those words to him. He shakes his head in hopes to erase the echo his mind gives of her repeating those words to him.

She wasn't supposed to argue with him about this, “ You'll only bring yourself pain, I'm trying to help you.” He refuses to beg, he just wants these feelings gone for the both of them.

Y/N again stepped closer, “Then tell me, you don’t want me. Tell me you'll let me put me out of your hearts.” She stands before him, her hair slightly disarrayed and eyes still wet from tears, and refusing to listen to reason. Even like this he wants nothing but her infuriating presence in his life, he wants to argue with her, but he wants her there to calm him and say those words again.

Maul growled at her, his golden eyes alight with anger and fear at the thought of sending her away, “ I CAN’T.”

He couldn’t even lie, Y/N would remain in his thoughts and he would want nothing more than to have her stand beside him.

She gives him one of her sad smiles, “ Then, I won’t either,” Her fate is sealed there.

He can’t win against her; she will keep loving him even if it burned her.

He didn’t move as she reached to touch his face, all Maul did was resign himself, he just wanted to spare her from his destructive path, from the fire he was going to set to those who wronged him.

Her fingertips traced his tattoos, each touch leaving a trail of warmth that Maul couldn’t help but lean into and close his eyes. Was this what it was like to be loved? To feel a gentle touch and just want to drown in it?

Y/N paid close attention to tracing near his brow and his lips, reveling at how he melted into her touch, he was beautiful like this, a calmness she had never seen grace his strong face.

She broke the silence with another confession,

“When I was little, my mother always told me about a story about the sun. One should never get to close it. but one day a person didn’t listen so they flew higher and higher towards it. Eventually they came too close and it burned them, they fell. I know it’s meant to be a lesson, but I can’t help but picture it now,” she leaned in closer. Maul opened his eyes slightly, smoldering gold meeting y/ec listening to her , “ That’s what you remind me of, the sun I was warned about.” Maul tries to warn her again, only for y/n to again trace his face in comfort, “ Please understand it’s fine, I want to feel it’s warmth. The sun is a beautiful thing, fierce and strong, his face grows warmer under her touch at this,” It may burn but it will be worth it.”

She wasn’t going to listen to his warning. Part of him was relieved that some grace was granted in his life. The gentle touches to his face were something he never had, he couldn’t let them go now, like Y/N had said it would be worth it.

They weren’t sure how to go to this but eventually Y/N was on top of him. Her legs on either side of him, cold metal pressed against her gown, she gave a slight shiver. Maul tried to push her away only for y/n to nudge him back with a sweet kiss to his cheek, “ No don’t.” she merely gets close to him fully placing her weight against him only shivering slightly, “ It’s fine. I love you, all of you,” she gives him one more soft kiss to his cheek to assure him, “ Please look at me” Again their eyes lock and Maul again is struck by how much he wants this he wants to tell her, “ Y/N I-“

For once he finds he can’t speak.

“You don’t have to say it, “she informs him, “ for right now I’ll just show you. Just follow my lead.”

Maul does as asked, and can't help but groan when she kisses him; it was soft just a press of their lips but the 2nd of many more.

It seemed hesitant each time they did this, Y/N pulled away gently earning a small growl of protest.

“Maul, was that your first kiss? “ It was an honest question, he mutters a small annoyed, “Possibly” he never had time for something like this, never considered it either, but now...what if...

She could sense he was drifting into his thoughts,

Y/N traces his bottom lip , “ It's perfectly alright, that just means I have to kiss you often to make up for it.”

He lights up at that, “Can you kiss me again then?”

He doesn’t have to ask again as Y/N presses her mouth to his, she moves gently trying to coax him to do the same. Maul is quick to follow and presses on for more, soon Y/N is gasping for air, her cheeks pink while Maul moves to kiss against her jaw and throat desperate to touch and feel her close, “ More? “ he requests.

Y/n lets out a gentle laugh and gives his forehead a kiss before placing another on his lips “ Of course Lord Maul, as you wish. “

#darth maul x y/n #darth maul x reader #maul x reader #maul X y/n #maul #darth maul #cloudsdrabbles #I really liked finishing up this one #so much angst and fluff #but ends with so much fluff and softness

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jack-is-lost · 3 years

Text

PATCHES & PINS (CH 1)

A/N: This story revolves around a transgender, female to male, original character. LGBTQ+ topics are a given within this story. Gender and body dysphoria will come up as well since he is not out to his family — only close friends. If you dislike such a story premise please understand you do not have to interact with it at all. Leaving hate comments will be removed. Of course, constructive feedback is always welcomed.

Pairing: Eventually Marko x OTMC

Story is still in progress and updates will be slow

Eventually it will be posted on A03 once I’m a few chapters in

Currently on Chapter one | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 coming soon

Chapter one

My life, for the most part, has always been unusual — a little different. Despite having parents that looked like any successful mom and dad ought to, and an older brother willing to stick up for me, things just didn't go according to plan.

You see, my mother was excited to have a daughter finally. Someone to doll up and buy dresses for, maybe even enroll in a dance class. A stark difference to her firstborn, Tyler, who was all about karate lessons and throwing the ball with dad. Which eventually evolved to working on cars as he grew older. Our mother wanted somebody to share girly interests with, understandably. And, for a while, she was able to have it. The baby pictures are proof of that. Yet, as I grew older and became more aware of what I liked, the fewer things seemed cookie-cutter-perfect for my family.

"Are you not taking your bag to school, Jacklynn?" The mentioned item was nowhere in sight as the youngest of her children poured coffee — the action resembling someone needing every drop left in the pot as if to survive.

"It's the last day," came the grumbling response after a long, soothing sip. "I doubt most kids will even be showing up."

"Yeah, about that," Tyler, the oldest, spoke around a bite of toast. "Can't I be a minority and just stay home?"

"No, you only have one day left, guys." She smiled at her two kids. A graduate who had already filled out college applications, and is ready to further his engineering career. The other, soon-to-be senior, that seemed to have no real drive in anything but drawing and reading — and staying up too late apparently.

"Seriously," she spoke up again as they sighed in unison, deflating with their last hope crushed. "You two will survive."

Tyler nudged his sister, who leaned across the counter, jostling the coffee dangerously enough to receive a seething glare. "Want me to take you?"

It wasn't like Tyler to offer that too often, "Sure."

They both pulled away from the kitchen and made their way to the door, hollering goodbyes as Tyler grabbed the keys — the other sibling still nursing the coffee.

"Don't stay out too late!" Their mom called back, knowing full well she wouldn't see her kids after school. It seemed the closer summer drew in — the fewer tests to study for and homework to do, the more they came home later.

Tyler stepped into the car, unlocking the passenger door as he slid inside his cherry baby — A beaming red, 1983 Audi Sport Quattro, followed by his sister plopping down less elegantly. He glanced at her while starting the car.

"Talk to me, Jay." It was the last day, after all. Weren't kids supposed to be excited about that? "What's bouncing 'round that head of yours." He barely received any notion his sister was listening till she drew out a long sigh, head hitting the back of the seat.

"I don't know, man." It was drawn out, tired. "Didn't get much sleep, I guess."

Tyler nodded while giving the steering wheel a turn, making his way down the road. The school building wasn't very far when on wheels, and he pulled into a parking lot marginally less filled than it ought to be.

As his sister made to get out, he placed a hand on her shoulder, their eyes meeting as she paused halfway out the door. "Ever need to get a chip off your shoulder come talk to me, okay?" Her eyes rolled to the side, and Tyler gave her a little reassuring squeeze, "I'm serious. What are big —"

"— bro's for? I know, I know."

Tyler chuckled as he released her shoulder, "Good. Now," he slammed the door shut and leaned over the roof, "Go sleep in class or something." That at least drew a chuckle out of his sister as she turned away from the car.

The last day of school went how one could expect it to go. Some teachers put on movies and had extra treats for their students. Others went over lessons in the last semester, hoping it would stick to impressionable minds before three months of freedom — minds that were only thinking about freedom and not math.

It was by mid-day when a note made its way into Jay's locker. In gruff, almost unreadable handwriting, it merely said, 'Meet us by the big tree'. Jay instantly knew who it was from and folded the paper up.

A long night was probably ahead.

When the final bell rang, Jay had to wipe the drool off an impromptu pillow-desk before heading out and down the hall. Many of the kids loudly boasted about their summer plans while cleaning out lockers, jostling each other, and hurrying outside. Jay maneuvered around the hoard and quickly escaped out a side entrance, locker already empty since lunch.

It didn't take long to walk a block to the park, down a jogging trail, before splitting off into a cluster of trees. There, in the center of it, laid a large trunk of a dead tree. Upon it splayed out a makeshift map, bags, and — unsurprisingly, two brothers.

"Finally," Grumbled Edgar while raising his head, a red marker still poised over the map. "Where's Sam?"

Jay stared, unaware that Sam was supposed to tag along for the stroll after school let out. "Was I meant to wait for him or?"

"Forget it," came the short grunt, and Edgar was back to the more important matter at hand as Alan turned around to face Jay.

"I'm sure he'll show up. He's got the same note as you," he started to unravel what appeared to be a chaotic ball of cord in his hands. "Oh, hey—" he stopped as a thought struck him, "—Still a no go on the knife?"

Oh, not this again.

Jay leaned against the bare trunk, arms crossed and brow lifted. "Alan, we've been through this. Keep me on the books, but hand me a knife, and someone will lose a finger."

Of course, no one knew if Jay meant their fingers or not, and that was on purpose.

"Maybe some training will help," Edgar spoke up again, pausing on circling locations. "You need to prepare yourself for—"

"— the unexpected. I get it, Ed." Jay cut him off while peering closer to get a look at the map.

"Edgar," he corrected with a tired mutter despite it being useless. They've known each other for an entire year now. One would think it wouldn't matter at this point.

Jay tapped a finger on the closest circled spot, the cemetery. "Thought you marked this off?"

"One can never be certain," He nodded to his own words of wisdom. "It is a common ground for the dead."

"I'd say," Jay suppressed a snort, "It is where the deceased go to be laid into the ground."

Rustling noises announced Sam’s arrival as he pushed through, almost smacking himself in the face with a thin branch. His strained voice drew attention to him. “Guys,” he dusted a leaf off his overly styled coat, “We really need to find a better spot to meet.”

Jay lazily offered a salute wave, “Hey to you too, Sammy.”

“I’m serious,” Sam huffed while taking up a spot near Alan, hands shoved into his pockets. “What about the shop? Y’know, with school now over and stuff?”

Edgar grunted in thought. “Yeah, that ought to be doable.”

“Your grandpa still against us being at the house?” Alan spoke up.

Sam gave a partial shrug. “Sort of,” he eyed the map, then glanced at Jay, who returned the unspoken question with a tired look. Sam returned to explaining when Edgar motioned for him to continue. “You guys can visit, as you have, but you can’t — you know —” he shuffled his hands for the right phrasing, “— bring hunting business there.”

Jay had never actually been to Sam’s place, but the stories shared made it sound like a lot of stuff went down there — destroying property kind of stuff. So Jay could understand what the man was trying to avoid. The Frog Brothers being walking time bombs of destruction, after all.

“The cemetery again?” Sam squawked at noticing it. “I am not doing that again.” The sound of Jay snickering redirected Sam’s defiant stare. “Make Jay do it this time.”

“Wait, wha—”

“—He doesn’t have the qualification for it, Sam.” Edgar cut in before an argument could occur. This only made Sam huff, arms crossed and brows furrowed.

“So? I didn’t either last year.”

Alan stopped weaving the cord at this point, placing it down on the dead trunk. “Jay needs the experience. It could be good for him.” He simply spoke, agreeing with Sam.

“Hey, Jay’s right here,” he had pointedly avoided parading around Santa Carla for a whole damn year. Sure, his knowledge of supernatural things is what drew the Frog Brothers to him in the first place — and the free charge of ordering books at their shop kept Jay in the circle, but he was a good year older than them and didn’t feel like playing make-believe.

Sam smirked in the way that screamed challenging, “C’mon, Jay, or are you scared of the dark?”

Jay narrowed his eyes, “I know what you are doing.”

“Then prove me wrong,” Sam continued.

“No.”

Despite that, Jay found himself amongst the dead at one in the damn morning. It was eerie, the cemetery, sitting in absolute silence and blanketed by a coat of darkness. The only noise now filtering through was shoes scrapping against the ground and low grumbles around him, voices hushed as not to alert anybody — or anything. Even their flashlights were ordered to stay off unless it called for it, as directed by Edgar.

“Exactly what should we be expecting to find here?” Jay spoke up quietly while trailing behind the two brothers, hands stuffed into his jacket. It was chilly tonight.

“Any signs of the undead.” Edgar simply said without much explanation, to which Alan filled in.

“Disturbed graves, tombs broke, drag marks.” he ticked off like a list.

“Ah,” Jay deadpanned. “So zombies?” the brothers turned to him, the moonlight hitting their frames but leaving their faces shadowed. “What?”

“Could be vampires too.” Edgar simply grunted. “Fresh ones crawling out of their dirt bed.” Alan nodded along with his brother, and Jay sighed.

“Sure, yeah. That too,” It wasn’t like anything of the sort actually existed, but Jay would humor the guys. They put up with his oddities, after all, so he could continue to do the same for them.

“Didn’t any of your books mention that?” Edgar continued while turning around, walking along a worn-out path again, and avoiding stepping on actual graves.

“A little,” Jay admitted as they continued on their trek.

A majority of Jay’s supernatural books were all about how one became something, the signs, and lore behind creatures — not exactly if they crawl out of graves or not. It made sense, though, if considering how people feared vampires in the past. How they would stake and behead someone during burial just in case their loved one decided to raise again.

Same could be said about leaving a bell.

Alan suddenly crouched down near the edge of a grave. “Look,” his flashlight clicked on to bask the empty hole in light. Edgar followed promptly as Jay stared at the two figures eyeing an obvious dug hole for a burial happening soon.

“It might be a sign.” Edgar rubbed a finger over the crumbling edges, dirt smearing and falling back inside the pit.

“Or,” Jay leaned over them to get an exact look at the perfect outline, “It is the groundskeeper getting ready for a funeral. There’s not even a casket down there.” Jay simply summarized before leaning back.

Alan clicked off the light and stood, “He’s right, Edgar. It is too perfect.”

“Hey!” the voice resonated out, cutting the muffled talking off as a beam of light frantically flailed in their directions. “What are you kids doing?!”

Without a shared word between the three, just mere glances at one another, they quickly split. Or at least Jay tried to do just that, but the brush of Edgar flying past him in a rush entirely threw him off balance. It wasn’t until tailbone smashed into dirt that Jay even figured out what happened.

“Fuck…” he muttered, then covered his mouth as the light grew brighter over the grave from above, rushing footfalls growing closer before fading away in the direction the brothers ran. Once it was clear, the curse slipped again with more fever.

Jay eased to his feet and stared above his head, the wall towering almost a foot over him. “They truly mean six-feet-under,” he muttered while raising a hand to the ledge, just able to cup fingers over the lip, only to stumble back as it gave away.

The recent rainfall was not making it easy.

Again Jay tried to grab, shoes scraping along the wall in an attempt to gain some height — thinking if he just rushed up the wall it would give him enough momentum, only to fall back against the adjacent wall.

“Shit — fuck,” Jay didn’t even care if his voice traveled that time. He was stuck in a damn grave, after all! Screw it!

“Need a lift?” came a voice from above, and Jay shot his gaze upward to see a hand reaching down toward him. The moonlight didn’t offer much else to see but light curls and the frame of a coat.

Even if it were the security guard, Jay knew this would be his best bet. It wasn’t like waiting till daylight to be discovered was an option. It would not help much in regards to needing to be home before Jay’s parents could find out he even snuck out.

He reached for the hand, feeling leather against palm and uncovered fingers wrap around his wrist. It took only one good heave, shoes against the wall and other hand clinging to the edge, to be entirely pulled out. Despite mud caking Jay from front to back, he could even feel it in his shoes; it felt good to be back on the surface. It wasn’t like he had a fear of enclosed places, but it still sucked regardless.

“Thanks,” he looked over at the stranger, still only catching the slightest glimpse of a smirk within the darkness. It was hard to make out any features, and the way the guy stood didn’t help anything.

“Were you takin’ a dirt bath?” he joked inquisitively, and Jay chuckled under his breath.

“No, not exactly.” Who would want to do that in a cemetery anyway?

The beam of a flashlight washed over them again as rustling sounds drew near, and Jay stepped away from the pre-dug grave. Definitely not wanting to repeat that incident all over.

“Looks like we should start running,” spoke up the other guy, head turned away from Jay to peer toward the security guard.

What was once hidden was now lit up like a spotlight. A smooth curved jawline, willowed eyes bright with brown, and curly dirty blond hair glowed on display for a split moment. Until the flashlight jostled by the running security guard fanned over the area. And Jay would be lying if he said he didn’t stare.

“Avoid any more holes, yeah?” he easily teased before seemingly stepping in a direction with no real speed.

Jay floundered for a moment before taking off after him. “Wait.” Jay didn’t know the grounds that well, and the two idiots that did had left him.

The guy laughed while reaching behind him, grabbing Jay’s wrist again with no problem, then started to run as the worn-out guard hollered something. He seemed to avoid any lifted tombstones, flower arrangements, and small fences like it were daytime. All while Jay tried his best not to stumble, gaze more on the ground than anywhere else.

When they neared the exit gate, chained to prevent people at such odd hours to visit, he let Jay’s arm go and placed both palms out while crouching down. Jay didn’t have to ask and quickly stepped into the waiting hands. He felt the guided push upward as his own hands grabbed for purchase, trying to avoid being nicked by the gothic-style fence. Yet, as Jay’s leg swung over, his pants snagged and ripped — the gravity of his body spilling over the other side holding little resistance.

Surprisingly Jay landed on his feet, if not a little wobbly, and quickly looked through the fence to see the guy still standing there undeterred. “You coming?”

“Don’t worry about me,” he simply said. Jay wanted to comment, but the sight of the guard pushing past the nearest tombstones shut him up. “Go.” he laughed again — actually laughed as if nonplussed by the whole thing. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep him distracted.” Then he turned around and fanned his arms out as if directing air traffic before darting down the side of the fence.

And that was the last Jay saw of the guy before quickly hiding behind the bushes lining outside of the cemetery, not wanting to be seen as the flashlight shown in his direction.

The walk home was slow as he picked flakes of mud off his jeans. Jay could feel the dry mess on his face and in his hair. A shower was needed as well as a talk with the Frog Brothers tomorrow. No way were they getting off free from abandoning him in the damn graveyard! Even as he climbed back through the bedroom window, Jay was envisioning how he’d throttle them. It wasn’t until he was in the shower, scrubbing extra hard to clean the grime off, that his thought wavered to the stranger.

“Why was he even there?”

#My writing #the lost boys #fanfiction #LGBTQ+ story #transgender fanfiction #Marko x OTMC #patches & pins

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4deathme · 3 years

Photo

Ok, let me start off by saying this, actually i had began writing journal starting from 1:23am and i had already wrote more than 6 paragraphs of the journal from the month of July despair. I have to write again now starting over again. What a pain in ass.

Alrighty, right now its 2:39am as i am writing these sentence.

It was July 22nd, Thursday, around 5:20pm i texted her long texts asking for forgiveness, acknowledging my mistakes. After lots of texts she finally responded to me at 6:14pm. She wrote a long text too explaining that i had hurt a lot and as she was trying to deal with her past trauma and was tryna fix herself too. She said that she need some time as she's overwhelmed by the current negative situations. She said that she had cried enough for the day. Although she said that she forgave me but also reminded me that i wasn't getting the same version of her like before.

I felt bad but i could understand because the amount of pressure i was giving to her weeks ago. Anyways, we were having good conversation after that, she was tryna lift me up by saying that i need to move on forward and then have a proper meal and sleep. She still cared about this stupid boy after all. She said that she’ll be forgiving me under one condition, and the condition was for my own benefit. I had to get better from the depressing state i was living in. She cared bout it still, yet fool like me always wanted more than anything. She texted me till 1:34am and then i got no response, she might have fallen asleep but yet i dared to call her twice.

Following the next day 23rd July Friday, I wished her in the morning and she responded at 11:23pm, our conversation was casual, she was getting ready to go out to her fam’s cafe to help her brothers out as she does every Fridays and Saturdays. After textin her ‘yello’ around 5:40ish, I just simply waited for her texts. She replied to me at 7:20pm something like that. She replied that her day was quit boring when i asked how her day went.

I reminded her that she was gonna call me tonight, which she declined by saying that she only said that she might. I was quite sad to heard that but i knew i could do nothin. If only that i night i wouldn’t have been drinking things would have gone in right direction. But as you know careless stupid drunkard never learns his lesson.

From 8-9pm we were both talkin about this and that about my current health and situation and at 9:46pm I texted her if i could ask her something, she said ok but then again i hesitated to ask her, she asked me what was it but then i just dismissed it by saying ‘it was nothing’ and her last hands on a face emoji. (The thing i wanted to ask her was, if i could get a one last chance to resolve broken love of the tales of Yuno and Yuki. I just wanted her back, i wanted to tell her so much that, never had i ever missed her voice, her laugh, her smile, her everything. It felt like i was in drugged into love.

And then it happened, around 11:38pm i started to annoy her more by texting and calling her.. little did i knew that she was actually sleeping and i was pissing her off. The thoughts of day labor at her fam’s restro didn’t seemed to occurred to me at that time, if it had came across my mind i would have thought about it lot but i just simply forgot it. She then responded furiously telling me how i could not think bout that she was sleeping. And idk why the fuck i started to babble about my feelings. Instead of apologizing and just wishin her goodnight i kept on babbling about my feelings and heart. She voice texted me too, and she sound genuinely pissed off. Yet to make things even more worse i started to talk about that my love was never fake and shit, and telling her that i was ready to meet her parents and marry her. Fuckin stupid ass drunkard me i hate myself for my own mistakes. That was the only time that i could have ever repent from my wrong doings but again no, fuckin miserable chap like me never gets his lessons.

Yah she got mad, she told me that i never understand my lessons and that i had just ruined her sleep. She told me to stop talking and let her sleep and that she was losing her mind bcus of me, yah that was the last text i received that night at 11:57pm. While me i just texted her until it was 4:56am in the morning and then finally im sorruuu text around 7am before going to sleep.

That was it after that. When i woke up in the evening and went thru my phone to check if i got any texts but then i saw that she had blocked me. It was quite like living in despair. It was not her fault at all, it was mine shit. I couldn’t fukcin handle myself. I was losing myself. I was numb. I was depressed. She was the only hope, the only light i felt while i was into the darkness and yet i fuckin blew it up in 2 single fucking night.

Wondering alone at the night in the street, reality and dreams steal my feelings and everything seems to have ended when it just begins. I'm in the abyss and she can’t see me. Should I let go and forget the past? I feel like I'm falling and the night is more darker than before. I feel so exhausted.

Current time before post : 3:49am

TO BE CONTINUED

#the future diary #yuno gasai #dawn #lonely cursed heartbroken #sad #despair #yukiteru amano

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nitholites · 4 years

Text

Damienette Soulmate AU, part 2 (here we go again)

Part 1

Thank you @friendly-neighborhood-enby for proof-reading this word dump you’re gorgeous and I love you

Getting permission to leave the group was disturbingly easy. The fact that Marinette was so 'disruptive to the class, always starting things. Even when she should be leading by example' and Damian was 'so mature and responsible, and works at WE, where employees are known for their trust worthy natures!' helped.

"You are much too kind for them, Marinette," Damian said as they left the class behind. She had actually restrained him from saying one of the many roasts he dearly wanted to, or from punching the incompetent teacher in the face- whichever he felt like.

Marinette opened her mouth, but snapped it shut and hummed instead. "You can say it," Damian coaxed. "Never halt your speech in front of me."

The look she gave him made him want to turn around and give her class a word lashing they won't forget. She looked almost shocked someone wanted to hear from her- a reaction no one should have. The smile she sent at him made him reconsider that plan. "I wasn't planning on holding back my words- I just realized something."

"Oh? Mind sharing that?"

She nodded. "Maybe you're right, is all. My friends, Luka and Kagami, keep telling me the same thing. I just think it's time to stop defending them like this, is all."

"They truly don't deserve you," Damian said before his mind caught up. As her smile lightened the air around them, Damian asked more about her home life- her hobbies and parents. Learning she grew up in her parents' bakery rang a few bells, but Damian chose to ignore them. She may not have learned from her parents, after all. And how could an angel like her be tied to his mangled, dark soul?

She deserved the world, as he knew from their time together on the tour. He couldn't give her the light she deserved and gave others. But maybe he could give her a space away from the air of her class, away from the cruelty of the people she used to call friends. That would be enough.

Regardless of what he could or couldn't do, what he would do was simple: Protect the smile that lit up the world for as long as she allowed.

Yes, he realized just how absurd that thought process was. They'd known each other for a day- no, a few hours. Vowing to protect her smile so soon was absolutely foolish. If it were anyone other than the kind, selfless girl beside him, Damian wouldn't have given her a spare glance.

If his brothers could see him now, he'd be mercilessly teased till the end of his days. He could hear their voices now- laughing with undertones of utter shock and disbelief.

But when she smiled, when her laugh chimed through the air like a clear bell... well, he couldn't bring himself to care.

Still, he'd suppress his quickly-growing fondness to something manageable until he had time to sort his thoughts.

Marinette, not for the first time that day, had to stop herself from letting loose her full laughter, trying not to embarrass herself and her company in public. She knew she could be loud- her voice carried when she wasn't careful, so she tried staying silent to counterbalance it- but the teen in front of her didn't seem to mind. If anything, he looked amused. The café was their most recent stop, after the museum, gardens, and flea market. A short coffee break before they went back to her class.

"Seriously?" She couldn't- absolutely could not- believe the tale Damian told, though he hadn't yet lied to her.

The teen nodded soberly, echoes of a smirk lingering on his face. "Alfred doesn't trust anyone in his kitchen anymore."

"It's no wonder! I'd do the same thing if my kitchen was as trashed," she stated, letting her hands follow her enthusiasm. "Your brothers committed the equivalent of kicking a homeless, 3-legged puppy to any self-respecting baker, let alone chef! My poor grandfather would have a heart attack!"

"Do you bake?" The question was accented with a slight raise of an eyebrow- a sort of challenge. Marinette Dupain-Cheng was many things- but a loser was not one of them, regardless of the game. Is this a game? she asked herself, slightly surprised at that train of thought. She found she couldn't answer, realizing their conversations were many things.

"When I'm stressed," she admitted. "I love the bakery and my parents, but practically coming out of the womb with a baking sheet in my hands put a few... habits in me."

Damian didn't verbally respond, moving his hand and nodding as though to say 'Go on'. So she did. "Bakers wake up at least two hours before the shop opens- or at least we do. The bakery opens at seven A.M. every morning, so we wake up at five at the latest. Usually closer to four," she started, sending a bright smile and a nod to the waiter who set down her coffee. A returned smile and a small greeting later, she returned to her explanation. "So check ‘early riser’ off the list. As stated before, I stress-bake. But I also help Papa with trying new recipes. So I'm practically always on the lookout for new or interesting flavors and combinations. Sometimes, I get so focused that I forget what I was doing," she sheepishly smiled, earning a chuckle from the boy before her.

"How do Gotham pastries compare to your family's?"

He thought the question was innocent enough.

Thought being the crucial word there.

A fire lit in Marinette's eyes then, a fire that told of harsh rants and moving arms. She laid all her complaints out there, genuine tears gathering at her eyes as she mourned the lack of decent baked goods. And as she explained each good, Damian found himself nodding along, nearly able to taste the poor items from her descriptions alone.

He nearly gagged from the imaginary taste. Never before had he uttered a sincere apology to someone outside his family, but he found himself looking into her eyes with as much remorse as he could muster. "I'm extremely sorry you had to sample those."

"It's alright, I suppose," she sighed. "I've actually started working with the bakers there to improve the pastries."

"Already? How long have you been in Gotham?"

"About a day."

She moved fast. "Perhaps one of these days, I can show you the better restaurants Gotham has to offer."

Damian paused, his mouth having moved before his brain even realized he spoke. "I mean, if you're free," he added, trying desperately to make the awkwardness clinging to the table vanish.

Before she could answer, a familiar voice called out. "Ya sure it's here, Pam?"

Damian turned in his seat, surprised at the arrival of none other than Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. He had to forcefully relax his body, seeing as the rogues had a good streak going. "I'm positive," the red-head responded, eyes searching the café. "This place is absolutely thriving." She gestured to the ivy on the wall near the register, which Damian now realized looked a bit greener than usual.

"Is something wrong?"

He turned back to Marinette, considering his next words. "Probably not," he eventually said. "What do you know of Gotham's rogues?"

"What was on the internet," she replied, eyeing the two women with... interest. "I wanted to make sure everything we needed to know was in the pamphlets, so I did my research."

Neither got the opportunity to speak more as Ivy approached their table, Harley following close behind. The questions sent Ivy's way were ignored, both from Harley and Damian. But Marinette's were answered, as she asked with a small smile. "May I help you?"

"How are you doing that?"

Marinette blinked, confusion etching into her features. "I'm sorry?"

"The plants are singing your praises," Ivy continued. "You heal them. How?"

If Damian had been watching Marinette instead of Ivy and Harley, he would have seen the flicker of understanding and surprise pass through the small girl. As it was, only Ivy, who had been watching her intently, saw it. "I simply have a bit of a green thumb," Marinette smiled, tilting her head as she did so. “That… isn’t a problem, is it?”

“Of course not,” Ivy immediately responded, shaking her head. “I just came to thank you. For as long as I’ve been Poison Ivy, the plants in Gotham have never been happier than in your presence.” Shocked silence came from the other Gothamites, but Marinette was only embarrassed. She had never been good at receiving compliments, even before Lila and most compliments turned into sneers and bullying.

Marinette stammered as she tried to thank the woman, the heat in her cheeks only adding to her embarrassment. Her words failing, she took a deep breath and calmed herself until she could speak in full sentences. “It’s really no problem- I’m just happy to help.”

The café

seemed to hold it’s breath- or perhaps the people inside did. Either way, nothing moved until Ivy did, smiling. “What’s your name, Blue Bell?”

Blue Bell? She answered anyway, having practice ignoring nicknames (even if she didn’t mind the kind ones). “Marinette. Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I’m here on a class trip. You’re Mademoiselle Isley and Mademoiselle Quinn, oui?”

The women nodded, sending smiles to the girl. “Aw, ain’t ya such a darlin’,” Harley cooed, lightly pushing past her girlfriend to pat the sweet teen on the head. “A right angel in Gotham, ya are. How long ya stayin’, Sunshine?” Harley slid into the booth as she asked.

“A couple months. Hopefully longer, if my application is accepted.”

“Already looking for colleges?” Now Pamela was in the booth, sat beside Damian as she joined in the questioning. Marinette nodded, taking a sip of her lukewarm coffee. “All the way in Gotham?”

“I want to experience fashion and culture outside of Paris,” Marinette started. “See what the rest of the world is like while I have the chance.”

Every passing moment with Marinette caused not only the rogues, but the other Gothamites in earshot to start rooting for her. Alas, time marches on, and both groups had things to do. They split at the entrance, Marinette and Damian beginning their trek to find her class and the rogues going to… well, neither teen would ask.

Robin suppressed a sigh, eyes scanning the streets below his perch. “No helping it, Baby Bird,,” the infuriating voice of his eldest brother sounded. “It’s a slow night for everyone.”

“The third slow night in a row,” he shot back, leaping from the ledge he used as a perch. The wind tousled his hair as he swung through the night, boredom already settling in his bones. “Something’s brewing.”

“I’ll look into it,” Oracle’s voice pitched in. Silence followed (if you ignored his brothers’ incessant chattering -which Damian did). At least until Oracle spoke again. “Reported argument, three blocks from the museum. Possible escalation. Robin’s the closest.”

“I’ll check it out,” he said over his brothers’ complaints.

Only a minute of swinging later, and Robin could hear the argument. If you could even call it an argument. A large, burly man stood yelling at a smaller, meeker-looking young man, an even smaller girl between them standing tall. With pigtails.

Wait.... Robin knew those pigtails- he saw them only hours ago! Why was she out of the hotel? In Gotham? At night?! Did she have a death wish?! His mask zoomed in, their voices sounding in his ear. The large man’s yelling practically boiled down to ‘He’s my boyfriend, and therefore my property’ in prettier, louder words. Robin rolled his eyes, having seen this kind of situation countless times before. Damian, though, watched the man and Marinette, worried for her safety.

The big man started spewing nonsense about the smaller ‘getting like this sometimes’ and ‘needing to take his meds, he gets confused’. The shaking man refuted everything said, repeatedly stating how he was done, trying to get away from the man who took everything from him.

“You think those morons you call friends would take you in?! They abandoned you! You have nowhere else to go!”

“Anywhere’s better than here!”

Marinette just stood, glaring down the man who was literally three times her size. But when he tried grabbing behind her, she moved. Before anyone could say or do anything, the man was out cold with a bleeding face, on his stomach as she tightened a couple zip ties around his wrists and ankles.

Robin had to pause his thoughts and think back to register what happened. A knee to the groin. Hands on either side of his head, holding it in place as she kneed his nose hard enough to break. When he didn’t go down, she swept his legs from under him and kicked his temple.

Her voice was too soft for the microphone to pick up, but by the way the smaller man’s face slowly relaxed, she had to have been saying something.

She didn’t spin to face Robin as he dropped, but did stop talking. Standing, she pulled out her phone. “May I help you?”

“I should be the one asking,” Robin stated, puzzled at the slight tensing of her shoulders. She turned, making a face at him once she did. “What?”

“You’re a traffic light,” she stated. “I prayed the images online were photo-shopped.” She sighed, shaking her head and tutting as the man behind her chuckled. Pulling a card from her purse, she pushed it into Robin’s hands, stepping on the zip tied man on the ground. “I will literally remake your entire group’s costumes for free if you send me the material. Heaven knows I can’t let the protectors of Gotham dress as clowns,” she muttered.

Robin crossed his arms with a scowl, narrowing his eyes. “Who says we-”

“Nope,” she interrupted, holding a hand up to silence him. “No way am I letting anyone- anyone- run around looking like-” she gestured to all of him, scrunching her nose in disgust “-like that. Doing so is an insult to fashion designers everywhere.”

Back and forth they went, until Robin paused and looked to the victim.

Laughter.

Marinette smiled as she turned around, gesturing between the two conscious men. “He agrees! You’re giving the gays and fashion icons nightmares, Robin. Nightmares.”

The laughter flowing from Robin’s earpiece didn’t help the situation.

Once the cop car (singular, without sirens as Marinette had asked in her call) rounded the corner, the three gave their statements and went on their ways.

For the most part.

Robin went with Marinette a ways, both of them stopping at the intersection. “You know how dangerous it is at night.” Once she nodded, he continued. “Why were you out?”

“Well, I had a feeling,” she shrugged, letting a hand land on her hip. “I was just going to the coffee shop down the block when they ran past me, like I told the officer.”

Neither spoke for a moment, standing in silence. “Be more careful next time.”

She smiled, starting to walk again. “Always.”

Taglist:

@goblinwhoships @mochegato

#mlb x dc #marinette dupain cheng #class salt #lila salt #damian wayne #batfam #alfred knows all #alfred pennyworth #crossover #soulmate #soulmate au

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evabellasworld · 3 years

Text

Storm of the Republic

Chapter 10

AO3 Link | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

——————————————————————————————

Summary: When Tup murdered General Tiplar during a battle, Anakin Skywalker and Captain Rex dispatched Ahsoka, Fives, and Yara to solve the mystery that was plaguing the Clone Army. Meanwhile, Senator Padme Amidala contacted Commander Fox, Commander Tori, Riyo Chuchi, and Dipper to help her continue investigating the death of Palpatine, suspecting that Dooku was behind the evil plot. But when Dooku send an ISB agent to stop them, the team had to race against time to search for the truth, which could alter the course of the galaxy.

————————————————————————————

Stepping towards the surface, Odd Eye and Mina breathed a sigh of relief as they landed on an empty part of the island, hearing gunshots and explosions from afar. As part of their mission briefed earlier, Team B will storm the capital city of Mendes to topple the Imperial government.

The planet was part of the Galactic Republic, but had fallen in the hands of the Galactic Empire recently. Hocura harvested crystals that were worth millions of Galactic Credits, and they were instructed to take it back from Imperial hands.

Rubbing her belly, Odd Eye turned around and counted all her troops from the 666th Battalion, from ARC Trooper Tarot, Ouija, Yeri, and others that survived for the past six months. “All members of the 666th are accounted for, General,” she reported to Erina.

“Excellent, Commander,” Erina praised her.

“What about you, Mina?” Raul asked. “Is everyone present?”

“We’re all here, General,” she responded, looking at Bouncy, Nygma, and another Mina.

After the death of Commander Gowon, the ARC Trooper was promoted to a higher position, something many of her peers could only dream of. She was pleased with her new position as a commander, but a bigger role means bigger responsibility for her, and she found it challenging for the past 6 months.

Mina looked up to Odd Eye for guidance, and while the latter has been helpful, the former wished that she had more time to learn about leadership. She may have received training from Alpha-17, but Mina was used to being in the shadows alongside her late commander. I wish Commander Gowon is still here. Why does she have to go too soon? I have a lot to learn about responsibility.

“Alright, we’re heading to the jungle,” Erina instructed them. “So make sure you all stick together and keep your eyes sharp. You never know what you have to encounter down there.”

“Yes, sir,” Odd Eye bobbed her head in acknowledgment. “Come on guys, we have a city to take back.”

”Understood, commander,” Tarot said, as he gestured to his siblings to keep moving.

As the 666th and 197th Battalion marched together, Raul frantically searched through his backpack for something important, making Erina cross her arms. “Let me guess, you forgot your bug spray again?”

Raul gave a nod, smiling sheepishly. “You know me well, Eri.”

“Next time, please remember it,” she advised, passing him the bug spray. “You always forget every time we’re heading to another planet.”

“Alright then,” he resigned. “Also, did you remember to pack your prayer mat? You always forget to bring that whenever we’re on duty.”

Her smile faded as she paused in her tracks, slapping her forehead in shame. “Shit, why do I always forget to bring my prayer mat? That’s like the most important thing on my list. Now I have to pray five times a day with my blanket, again.”

“Don’t worry about it, Eri. At least you don’t have to worry about forgetting your binder like me.”

She raised her eyebrows at the dark-skinned man. “But you don’t need to bring your binders anymore. You already had chest surgery a long time ago.”

“Well, that was way before my chest surgery,” Raul told her. “Remember, I had to work at the diner all day long?”

“How could I forget that, Raul? You wouldn’t even dare to take a day off just to go out with me. Your boss was pretty strict with you.”

“Hey, at least I took you out on a date after the surgery.”

Erina let out a chuckle. “Of course we went out. You came out as a trans man and I wanted to celebrate at your favourite ice-cream shop. That was an important milestone in your life, you know.”

“Yeah, it was the best day of my life.”

As they continued with their conversation, Odd Eye could not help but smile underneath her helmet. Their conversation reminded her of Erhan, back when he was still alive and cheerful. They always have a deep conversation with each other that lasts the entire night, before they would fall asleep in each other’s arms when the sun rose from the horizon.

Her last memory of her lover was before they left an island planet. I can’t wait to start a family with you, Odd Eye recalled his words towards her, before watching him die in front of her. All it took was a tank shooting him from behind. As much as she told Tori that she moved on, she wished he was with her right now.

“Aren’t they cute?” Mina spoke, bringing her back to the present. “They’re both holding hands right now.”

“Yeah, they are,” she agreed, focusing on Erina and Raul. “Who do you think will propose first, though?”

“I think it would be General Gomez,” ARC Trooper Tarot speculated. “He’s quite the romantic one in the relationship.”

“Really?” Mina raised her eyebrows. “I always assumed it would be General Almarez-Guttierez. She’s pretty confident in everything she does.”

“My money goes to General Gomez as well,” ARC Trooper Bouncy joined in the fun. “He’s always sweet towards his partner. I mean, he even carried General Almarez-Guttierez to safety more than once.”

“Okay, guys, let’s just relax with this gossip, alright? We should let their relationship go with the flow.”

“Yes, commander,” Tarot groaned. “Though my readings tell me that there might be a union, eventually.”

Odd Eye rolled her eyes. Of course Tarot would say something like that. That’s how he got his name. He’s obsessed with tarot cards. She wondered why Erhan had to get him those cards in the first place, though some of his readings were accurate most of the time.

One time, he pulled out The Tower card, and the next thing she knows, the 666th Battalion lost half their men in the Battle of Zamerth. It was the most devastating loss she had experienced, and it wasn’t the last time the Grand Army of the Republic had to fold against the Separatists.

“Speaking of readings, what is the card of the day?” the pregnant commander asked, hoping today will be filled with good fortunes and luck.

“This morning, I got the Temperance card. From what I can tell, it means that you’ll have to keep your cool, even when things aren’t going your way.”

“I’m trying my best, Tarot. You know how hard it is to carry a baby while fighting a war?”

“I’m aware of that, commander. That’s why the Temperance card appeared in my reading today.”

It’s an accurate reading, she acknowledged with pure intention. She had to give credit to that. It’s difficult to predict the future with tarot cards, especially if you’re not familiar with it.

The purple jungle looked like something that was from a fairy tale, and the symphony of crickets in the background felt tranquil for her. The rain from the clouds made it better, as she could concentrate on her current surroundings.

If Odd Eye was given a chance to live somewhere, Hocura is her number one choice. She would never get bored with the scenery from her treehouse. Her son would love it here too. He could sleep to the sound of raindrops while Odd Eye would just sit beside him, reading her favourite book. It’s the life she always wanted after the war ended.

“So, how long till we reach Mendes?” Mina questioned Raul. “We’ve been walking for hours and my legs are killing me.”

Raul opened his map from his device and showed their current location to his commander. “Mendes is 20 kilometres from here. If we meet up halfway through the jungle with the 212th and the Coruscant Guard, we will get there in two days.”

“So are the 212th and the Corrie Guards still fighting on the other side?” Mina bit her lips. “It must be a pretty intense battle. I hope they’re okay.”

“Two days is pretty long and I’m not sure whether they can survive that long,” Odd Eye commented, tapping her feet on the ground. “Is it alright if we rest for at least 10 minutes? My feet also hurt and I might need a bathroom break right now.”

Erina exchanged a brief glance with her partner for a moment before approving both their requests. “Alright then, you all can have a 20 minutes break for yourselves. Then we’ll continue through the jungle.”

“Thank you, sir,” Tarot sighed in relief. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Raul winked. “Rest is good for your health and you all need it.”

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mmos-s · 4 years

Text

HIRAETH CH.3

Summary: girl thinks boy is a himbo

CH.1 CH.2 CH.3 CH.4 CH.5

It was really late. The sun had set an hour ago, the darkness adding sort of an ominous effect to the surroundings. Big trees that Y/N could usually recognize loomed over her almost menacingly. She was lost. The monster she had to fight at the lake had set them back quite a bit, Y/N had planned on getting here much earlier, making it easier for her to find her checkpoint, a small cabin.

Not to mention, it would have also been easier for her and the dunce to avoid stray Fire Nation traps.

“Stop squirming, dumbass!” She hushed.

“Oh yeah, sure. Let me just stop the blood rushing to my head too while I’m at it,” Zuko replied sarcastically. He’d been hanging from a tree for a while now, why was Fire Nation rope so thick?

Y/N huffed and slashed at the rope with water one last time. He landed onto the snow with a loud thud and struggled to get up on his feet. She’d be lying if she said there wasn’t a gentler way for her to get him down. When he was finally able to get back up on his feet he sneered at her. She only smiled and shrugged.

“I got you down didn’t I?”

“You’re insufferable.”

“So I’ve been told.” She turned around. “Now come on, you’re slowing us down and it’s only getting darker.”

Zuko groaned and threw his head back in what Y/N almost thought was despair. She understood that this was a bit tedious, for the record it was cold, dark, and they’d been turned around by traps an undesirable amount of times. (There were much more than the last time she was here.) But, were the theatrics really needed?

“We’ve been walking for hours, do you even know where we’re going!?”

Y/N didn’t answer and hoped he wouldn’t notice her uncertainty. She knew where the place was, well almost at least, she just didn’t know where they were at the moment. There’s a difference. Her wishes for Prince annoying to just drop the subject aren't answered when they let the thirteenth second of unsure silence set in.

He scoffs and his expression turns into one of bewilderment.

“Wow! You don’t do you?”

Y/N gets defensive and places her hands in front of her chest.

“Of course I do.” She feigned confidence and vaguely gestured towards a direction. “It’s obviously this way.”

Zuko quirked an eyebrow, “You sure? Cause that tree looks awfully familiar . . .”

Suddenly they both hear shouting and the sound of multiple footsteps. Not towards them but too close for it to be ignored. Zuko narrowed his eyes and took a step closer to Y/N.

“Who--”

“I don’t know,” Y/N dismissed him before he could say anything else. She brought her index finger up to her mouth and pursed her lips, trying to tell Ro to be as quiet as he could and to stay where he was. She then looked back towards Zuko.

“You stay here too,” She commanded.

“You’re kidding. I don’t need to be babysat by some bear,” Zuko contradicted.

Y/N was completely done with his constant disagreement and only let out an exasperated sigh. She rolled her eyes and had already begun checking to see if she was well enough to fight if it came up. Her arm still hurt quite a bit but she had no time to heal it, and now wasn’t a good time either.

“No, I’m not.” Y/N turned around and began to head towards the noise.

“Wait!” Zuko called out. Y/N halted and turned back around towards him.

“I can be backup.” He argued. “Plus, I don’t think it would be smart to leave the person you captured alone, right?”

Y/N thought about it for a moment, sure he had a point but she had a feeling his intentions weren’t what he made them seem to be. She’d decided it was a risk either way so it didn’t really matter. Y/N would hate having to ask for help on something she could definitely do herself but having a helping hand wouldn’t hurt either.

“Fine,” She decided.

“Thank you.” Spirits, why was he being polite?

“Whatever.”

Y/N tied Ro’s harness to a tree and then started to head out with Zuko closely behind her. Y/N quickly headed into the darkness, trying to avoid making as much noise as possible. The trees make it easier for them to sneak around without being seen yet the sound of crunching snow made her uneasy. Zuko was annoyingly good at sneaking around. He moved so lightly, sometimes she’d forget he was even next to her.

When they’d finally reached the end of the voices they both hid behind a set of trees and listened in.

“You’re hearing things, man. There’s no one here,”

Fire Nation soldiers.

She had a hunch, they’d been here ever since she’d been hunting down the Prince, it was too much of a coincidence to ignore. Y/N thought that it might have had to do with General Lee, she had this feeling that he was trying to put pressure on her or something. This always caused Y/N to run into trouble when she came here. Every few months they would get closer and closer to where her checkpoint was stationed. Today was no different. Y/N was starting to get worried, they were getting closer to it, she didn’t want to think about what would happen if they found it. The cabin was one of the last places she had left.

Y/N guessed this situation didn’t turn out too bad though, although this meant that they were getting closer, it also meant that she wasn’t lost anymore. They’d practically led her to it.

There were two of them. Y/N looked over to Zuko and realized he was getting ready to fight them. She panicked and moved from her hiding spot to his as quickly. She practically tackled him and put her hand over his mouth.

“Are you dense!? There’s more of them near here,” She whispered.

One of the soldiers turned his head and took a few steps towards the tree they were hiding behind.

“Did you hear that?” He asked.

“Okay, now you’re just being paranoid.” The second soldier laughed.

“I swear something about these woods is off though . . .” The first muttered. The second only rolled his eyes and walked where the first one was.

The two both held their breath.

“It’s just the forest man.” He said. “What are we even doing here anyway?”

“Looking for some girl, you know the one. Apparently she comes through here.” He finally stepped away from the tree and Y/N let the breath she was holding slip past her lips. She’d realized Zuko was still pinned to her, she mouthed a sorry and he only looked away.

“What? General Lee afraid of getting his ass beat by some little girl?”

The other stifled a laugh before a shout interrupted the two.

As three more soldiers entered from the woods the two from before turned towards them and dropped what they were talking about. Y/N thought they must have been from higher ranks because a sort of tension had suddenly filled the air.

“We’ve received news that we are to be called back until morning.” The third soldier spoke up, he stood out among all of them so he must have been in charge between the five of them.

“General Lee will also be arriving in a few days or so,” He threw them a menacing stare. “I highly suggest you two learn how to watch your mouths before then.”

The two soldiers swallowed and averted their eyes from him. They muttered a pathetic ‘yes sir’. A few more seconds and Y/N heard five sets of footsteps beginning to get further away.

The girl sighed and moved from behind the tree. This was going to be a problem later, but she didn’t really feel like thinking about it right now. So she decided the problem didn’t exist anymore. Zuko obviously had other plans.

“That’s a problem,” He stated.

“Won’t have to worry about it till morning.” She replied.

Zuko began to get up and brush off some of the snow on him. For once he didn’t say anything back. He was planning something, Y/N just didn’t know what yet.

Getting the wind knocked out of you twice in a day can really take a toll on someone’s mental health. Or else Y/N wouldn’t be seriously thinking about killing the one person she needed to keep alive. Turns out she was right, he was planning something. That something was an attack.

When the two had finally arrived at the checkpoint he’d said something along the lines of ‘LeT mE gO’ obviously Y/N didn’t comply since that would defeat the whole point. Then next thing she knew he’d attacked her when she’d turned her back, stupid on her part, though she really didn’t see it coming. He had never tried anything until now so she thought she had no reason to think he would do anything stupid. She was obviously wrong.

Y/N’s back hit a bookshelf harshly, books spiraled to the ground and some landed onto her head with a thud. Her hands were pinned above her head before she knew it. His breathing was all off, he’s still weak, yet he still managed to pull this off.

“Finally showing your true colors, huh Prince?” She teased. It wasn’t appropriate but she wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to rub it in his face. He was a liar, just like she thought. Y/N found it sick how he was pulling this goody goody act up until she turned her back to him, literally. What was he gaining anyway? Why go through all that trouble? He could have done this since the beginning. People Y/N hated always seemed to have such confusing agendas.

“This is no time for you to think you have the higher ground.”

Y/N only rolled her eyes in response, resulting in more pressure being added to her pinned hands. She winced, what a pushover.

“Fine. Just quite it will you? I’m injured, you hothead,” She complained.

He actually loosened his grip, a flash of regret on his face.

“I’m going to ask you one last time, who are you?” Zuko demanded.

Y/N laughed. “You think I’m dumb enough to tell you? Now that’s funny.”

The Prince scowled and edged the fire in his hand closer to her face. Trying to back away did her no good, she had nowhere to go, it was too hot.

“Tell me.”

He inched the flames closer with every second that passed. Y/N knew he wasn’t actually going to hurt her, if he was going to he would have sooner. It also helped that she knew something in him would stop her from being totally hurt, he looked apprehensive even when they were fighting, and he still did now. She could tell by his fighting style that he was holding back, he barely hit her even once, only backing her up into a corner and getting rid of her waterskin, rendering her defenseless.

She would just have to wait this out.

Y/N kept her mouth shut and let a small smile slip when she saw his expression fall. When she saw his hand hesitate she knew she’d won.

“What is it? Don’t have the guts or something?” She asked.

Zuko’s eyes narrowed and he swung his fist dangerously close to the side of her face. More books fall and Y/N is 100% sure that her bookshelf is now broken, what a waste. His fist is still on fire.

“Name.” He growled.

Y/N sighed, if he was really going to wreck all of her furniture maybe her name wasn’t all that important. To be honest, she never gave any of the people who she captured her name, to her even that was too much of a close connection. Maybe it was her knowing what she was doing was somewhat selfish, but she didn’t want anyone she turned in to have any glimpse of what she was like, the guilt would be too much. She already accidentally broke that rule with this pain in the ass. She was so close, this would be the last one. Who cared if he finally recognized her?

“Y/N.” She finally answered. “It’s Y/N.”

Something flashed in his eyes and he relaxed for half a second. Not even a second only half, but that was all she needed. She buttheaded him as hard as she could. Zuko yelped and let go of both her hands, he stumbled back and brought his hands up to his face. Y/N fought the urge to do so as well. Note to self, buttheading isn’t the best kind of attack. Y/N high kicked him before he could block and he fell to the ground. She grabbed his wrists and held them above his head before planting a knee on his stomach.

“Guess I do have the higher ground after all,” She huffed.

He scrunched up his face and the expression of realization finally pulled through.

“I know you.”

Y/N put more pressure into his stomach with her knee.

“Guess you do, what a shame.”

“Why are you doing this?”

She faltered for a second before regaining her confidence. Why did she feel like shit right now?

“Doesn’t matter,” Was her answer.

“The person you’re doing this for, it’s not going to end well with him. You’re going to regret it,” He claimed.

Y/N stopped and sort of went blank. She knew he was mostly right. Y/N would rather die than admit it, she wasn’t doing this just for the fun of it. She knew exactly what she was risking.

She punched him right in the face. And, oh, did it feel good.

His nose was bloody, his dumb face finally looked tolerable. This was the angriest she’d been in a while. Come to think about it, she hadn’t been this angry in forever. It felt good almost.

Something about him trying to warn her, no it wasn’t a warning, something else. He was almost chastising her. Y/N went as far as to say he was outright scolding her, like he was her mom or something. Like he knew her well enough to give her unneeded advice. And shitty advice at that. Did he think she was dumb enough to not consider that would be a possibility? Of course she had. She thought about it everyday, how basically all odds were against her and she practically was putting all of her eggs into a basket that was seconds away from tearing. She knew, of course she did. But Y/N didn’t care anymore. If she went through with this and it really did go south, at least she would know she never ever gave up. Or else she’d never be able to live with herself.

Blood dripped down Zuko’s chin and she almost caught herself feeling bad. His eyes were only half open and Spirits, did he look like shit. He gave her the dirtiest glare and she was glad, it gave her a reason to keep hating him with no guilt whatsoever.

People really can’t keep up for a facade for long and the Prince was living proof wasn’t he? She knew he’d attack her sooner or later, it’s what always happened. This was the only time it had worked. Y/N really is surprised with her own stupidity. She fell for it. She fucking fell for it.

The hateful looks the Prince would send her way when her back was turned were all too noticeable. He was angry, and rightfully so.

The point was, he wasn’t in the place to be telling her what to do or not do.

“What I’ll regret or not has nothing to do with you,” She fumed.

Zuko tried his best to let out a scoff and threw his head back against the wall with a gentle thud. He smiled. He smiled. Blood stained his teeth because of his bloody nose.

“Fine then.” He sighed and closed his eyes. Almost like he was ready for a nap. “I read the letters on your desk though, General Lee’s not the best man to make a deal with.”

Y/N bit her lip. She was uncomfortable with how much he knew already. He opened his eyes and stared her down.

“Just saying.”

She clenched and unclenched her fist before finally grabbing some rope and tying him up. She made sure to do it as roughly as possible to let off some more steam, and maybe just to piss him off just a little bit more.

“Just shut up, yeah?” She gave him a bitter smile and tied the last knot as tightly as possible. The pained look on his face was satisfactory enough.

“You’ve been saying that a lot. Sort of annoying,” He said.

“Then stop talking,” She shot back.

She got up and wiped her hands on her pants. Her knuckles hurt a lot, so did her forehead, and her arm. Wow, she had more injuries than she remembered. She must look horrible too, she hasn’t slept for about two days and then fought an eel and has been babysitting a himbo during the whole thing. Y/N silently applauded herself.

It had to be close to 1 a.m by now. Sleep was probably out of the question. Sometimes Y/N wished she wasn’t alone so that someone else could keep watch. She picked up the waterskin Zuko had grabbed off of her when they’d fought off of the floor and brushed off the dust. She waterbended some of it onto her arm and just let it sit there. The healing always took a while since she wasn’t so great at it. Y/N walked back up to Zuko and sat in front of him.

“Do you have to sit so close?” He complained.

Y/N raised her eyebrows. “Do you think I’m dumb? After all of this you expect me not to keep a close eye on you?”

Zuko groaned and only closed his eyes again. She wished she could do the same. She was so tired, so exhausted that she thought it would kill her. Her whole body ached and her eyes felt like they had weights on top of them. She could hear Zuko’s breath slow, of course he didn’t snore.

She found herself again being jealous of someone she hated. Y/N was disappointed to say it wasn’t the first time.

When Zuko woke up he thought he was dying. Like dying, dying.

He was getting tired of waking up feeling like he was going to throw up. And he was even more tired of being woken up by her. It was either a punch, kick, or shove, either way he hated it. Zuko kept his eyes closed hoping she’d think he died in his sleep or something.

“I know you’re awake,” She said.

Zuko still kept his eyes closed and tried to seem as dead as possible. Doing that gets sort of hard when cold water gets splashed in your face.

“For fucks sake!” He yelled.

She smirked and then bended the water out of his clothes.

“Wouldn’t have happened if you just woke up.”

He didn’t say anything in response and glared at her. She held up her hands in defense.

“Relax! You’re dry now.” She turned around and picked up something off of the floor. “Now get up we’re leaving. Those guys are gonna be here soon.” She muttered the last part.

The sun still wasn’t up, had she not slept at all? The room was different than last night. It was clean. Albeit there was a table missing now but the bookshelf was fixed and the books were all back in there places. He noticed something else too.

His wounds were bandaged, messily, but still bandaged. She was bandaged too, maybe even more than he was. He didn’t remember getting so many hits in but he was proud nonetheless.

Zuko scoffed when he got up, earning him a weird look from Y/N. He didn’t really care though.

“You’re a hypocrite,” He said.

Y/N didn’t look at him. She knew what he meant she just didn’t want to admit it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Zuko shrugged. He got his point across. What a weird girl.

He stayed there for a little while before she’d told him to head outside and wait for her. Which was odd to say the least, but he complied. It was still odd though. Y/N looked almost sad. She kept looking around like the whole world was going to cave in from under her.

He’d been waiting here for a while though and he hated that he was starting to get worried. And not because he cared, not that wasn’t it.

It couldn't be.

It was because Zuko swore he heard pairs of voices in the woods. They’d get closer and closer every time he’d hear them again, at first he thought he was hearing things. But when he’d begun to hear footsteps that was what started to make him panic.

It was barely morning, why were they already so close?

Zuko ran inside and looked for Y/N.

“Y/N!” He yelled.

When he didn’t get an answer, he debated just leaving without her. But, he was a good person now, and Aang would say good people wouldn’t do that. Zuko groaned. Why did he decide to become all buddy buddy with the sappiest group in the world?

He ran up the stairs and entered a random small room. He regretted it but he really had no choice.

“--miss you guys.” Y/N laughed, it was soft.

She sniffed and gently placed the palm of her hand on the wall and took a shaky breath in. Zuko got a look at what was on the wall.

Signatures. There were signatures etched into the wood, and a lot of them too. He didn’t want to imagine what had happened to them, he could imagine who did it though. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out and it would explain Y/N’s hatred for him. He felt a huge wave of guilt hit him.

He coughed and her head snapped towards him with such speed and force he thought it would spin off. Her face went through a marathon of expressions. Annoyance, embarrassment, and fury. She wiped at her eyes as quickly as she could. Her hands were balled up into fists, like a kids. Zuko felt even gultier than before, he’d embarrassed her.

“I thought I told you to stay outside?” She asked, moving a bit to cover what was on the wall. He felt like the question was meant to come off as more aggressive, like a command, menacing. But it came out raw and soft, like she had whispered it. Zuko would be dumb to point it out to her so he didn’t.

“I think those soldiers from last night are back,” He said.

As if on cue, a pair of unfamiliar voices were heard from afar.

Y/N’s eyes widened and she mumbled something under her breath. The girl picked up whatever she needed from the room as quickly as possible and then roughly grabbed Zuko’s arm.

“How close are they?” She asked.

“Close.” He was pulled from one room to another, watching her pick up as much stuff as possible. She looked frantic and anxious, something he’d never seen in her till now. It looked almost unnatural, ever since he’d met her he always saw her as someone that always had things under control.

“It was hard to tell at first since they were moving so quietly . . .” Y/N only kept moving and muttering under her breath, completely ignoring the alarming closeness of the voices and footsteps. Zuko, at this point, was starting to get frantic. He tried to remind himself that the place was rather well hidden, but no amount of shrubbery and wood was going to stop Fire Nation soldiers if they were looking for someone or something. And he spoke from experience.

It was when he was dragged around once more that he decided to say something.

“Shouldn’t we be leaving?!” He asked.

“Just a few more things . . .” She trailed off. The sentence wasn’t directed at him, it was more for herself. They didn’t have time, though. She was now carrying a plethora of things in two bags slinged around her body. What was she doing?

The last room she’d brought him to was. . . odd. It somehow looked like her.

“Is this--this is your room?” He asked.

Y/N clearly hesitated. Completely halting in the action of grabbing a picture frame that was turned over for some reason.

“Yes,” She finally answered.

Zuko kept looking around almost bewildered. There was also this feeling in the air where he felt like he shouldn’t be here. It felt too . . . too personal. He felt the same about the whole place actually, there were too many memories that he felt like he shouldn’t be seeing. They weren’t obvious but it was clear enough to be seen, like the lines etched into the wall slowly getting higher and the years being written next to them. Zuko wasn’t used to seeing stuff like that.

In the palace everything was pristine almost 100% of the time. Everything was always in its place and things always looked grand and new, nothing less. Nothing seemed to have personality. This whole place was the complete opposite yet it was so small. Zuko can’t remember one place in the entire palace that looked like anything but nothingness. Even his own room felt empty, nothing that showed a smidge of his personality was in it. There was no trace of him or anyone else.

“Ok done.” Y/N stuffed one last thing into her bag and grabbed him again. “Let’s go.”

Before they could head downstairs there was a big boom. And then the familiar smell of smoke.

Zuko hadn’t realized just how close they had gotten in such a small amount of time. Y/N’s eyes widened and brought the both of them back to her room. She let go of his arm and went to open a window. She snuck a look outside and then brought her attention to him. Zuko was trying and failing to figure out what she was planning.

“They’re not out back. We’re jumping,” She casually said.

“This is a two story building.” Zuko said. Completely forgetting he’s done much worse.

“What sounds better? Possibly breaking a few bones, or burning to death?”

She moved quickly and bended his cuffs away. He only had a second to be thankful for being able to use his hands freely again.

“What’s your plan?” Zuko asked.

More footsteps.

“I just told you,” She replied.

“Oh, right. I meant after we jump to our deaths and into a fleet of soldiers.”

Y/N waterbended ice onto the handle of the door. The anxious girl didn’t have time to answer because of a strong yell echoing through the small cabin.

“The three of you head upstairs!” The demand was followed by a set of loud and quick footsteps.

“Alright here we go.” Y/N got a head start and ran, and the next she was gone. She’d actually jumped.

Zuko looked out the window and found her buried in snow, she had this funny look on her face.

When she caught his eye she waved her arms around frantically, telling him to come down. When Zuko started to doubt whether or not he should do so, the aggressive jingle of a door handle convinced him. He braced himself and jumped. Zuko landed onto the ground with a small ‘oof’, the snow was soft. It didn’t completely break his landing but it helped. When he opened his eyes an arm was extended his way.

“Come on!” Y/N ushered him.

He reached out and met her hand.

“We have to get Ro, he’s not to far from here--”

“Hey!” A stray Fire Nation soldier accusedly pointed at the two. If things couldn’t get worse four more strayed behind him.

Zuko set himself into a fighting stance, getting ready for whatever was to come, before he felt himself getting dragged away for what felt like the billionth time.

“What are you doing?!” He questioned her. The soldiers were close behind, and were yelling at them to stop.

“We can’t fight them all,” She replied.

She was a fast runner, it was hard for Zuko to keep up with her. They kept running deeper into the woods and he wondered where they were heading. He didn’t realize that they’d lost the soldiers they were running from until they reached a cave.

“Ro!” Y/N yelled out.

Nothing.

Zuko didn’t know if she knew it but Y/N was still holding his hand and when she’d gotten no answer she squeezed it tight.

“Ro?” This one came out more as a question.

That was when Zuko had noticed some tracks and fur leading back towards the cabin. They’d taken him before going after them, this was planned.

Guessing from the second inhumanely strong squeeze from her hand she had noticed it too. Her other hand was clenched so hard that her knuckles looked like they were turning white.

“They took him,” Y/N finally let go of his hand and slumped down to her knees, she didn’t seem to be worried about him trying to run away at the moment. “Spirits they took him.”

Then soot flew around the air and softly landed in the snow, Zuko turned and brought his eyes back from where they ran from. The cabin was burning.

“You know,” Y/N took in a shaky breath. “Every time I think I don’t have anything they can take away from me they prove me wrong.” She tried laughing but her voice was too strained.

Zuko sat down next to her and balled up some snow in his hands.

“I’m sorry.”

Y/N looked at him shocked with tears in her eyes, this time she didn’t bother to wipe them away. She was looking at him like he’d just started speaking another language.

“Thank you,” She replied. She looked down and averted his eyes.

It was so quiet, a hushed whisper, but he heard it. Progress.

________________________

Tag list: @royahllty @eridanuswave @idkdude776 @multi-fandomstan

#zuko #zukoxreader #zuko x reader #sokka #katara #suki #toph #aang #appa #atla #avatar: tla #avatar the last airbender #self insert #xreader #lowkey proud of this one?? but also no #hope yall like it #:)

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hartears · 4 years

Text

Closer than neighbours : Lee Juyeon

Genre: fluff, slight angst, drama, criminal au

Summary: When Juyeon is caught on camera from engaging in a 50 million dollar heist, every policeman in town is searching for him but his main problem lies with you.

Direct quote: “I’m not just the guy living across the street.”

“When was the last time you saw him?” the policeman asked as he stood by the doorstep. It was roughly 5 am in the morning, you were exhausted especially because of the events of last night which had involved partying and drinking till dawn. You had literally just gone home minutes ago and jumped in bed for a few seconds before you heard the doorbell ring.

“Wait who are we talking about again?” You drowsily replied, receiving a groan from the officer standing in front of you.

“Lee Juyeon, your neighbour. I heard you were quite familiar with him.” The man was obviously annoyed. With a slight hint of attitude laced in his tone of voice and relentlessly tapping his shoe to the ground to convey his restlessness to find Juyeon and his impatience to deal with you, you weren’t having it. You should be the one annoyed, having to wake up way too early in the morning just to answer questions that they can’t seem to ask respectfully. You spare him a glare, trying to avoid anymore time wasted on answering questions than sleeping.

“I don’t know, 2 days ago?” The man writes it down on his little notepad.

“He hasn’t contacted you since then?”

“No. Look officer, I don’t know where you heard Juyeon and I were ‘familiar’ from but I can assure you, if he was ever in trouble or anything, I’d be the last person he’d ask for help from.” You respond casually and the officer only nods along with it, thankful to allow you to return to bed.

“Alright then, that’ll be all for today. If you have any other information, please feel free to contact us, good day.” The man walks off and you scoff at his automated response. You don’t let it bother you as you were too tired to feel anything as of right now. Whatever situation Juyeon had gotten himself into, you were concerned but the fact that he hasn’t bothered reaching out to you or ever mention the upbringing event of robbing a 50 million dollar diamond made you feel that your 10 years worth of being neighbours and friends meant nothing to him. You felt you and Juyeon weren’t as close as you thought and what makes it worse was that you never had the chance to talk him out of such a dangerous path, because you never knew. Shrugging away your thoughts and hopping into bed, you manage to catch at least 10 minutes of sleep until a loud thud wakes you up, causing you to suddenly sit up from your position.

That couldn’t have been the usual stray cat that typically visits and hops around the garbage bins. It sounded like an intruder that somehow managed to enter through the bathroom window. Immense fear spread through your body, releasing in the form of sweat. You weren’t prepared to take on a stranger, you didn’t have the energy. Grabbing the closest threatening object you found in your room, in your case, a wireless table lamp, you snuck over towards the bathroom where all the noise seemed to be getting louder and louder.

“Fuck!” You heard a very familiar voice grunting and whining through the hallways, nonetheless you tightenend your grip on the lamp, preparing to swing as you reach the bathroom door.

“Here goes,” you mumble to yourself, “1, 2, 3!”

You jump in the room, raising the lamp up in the air only to realize that nobody was inside. You stood in the center of the room confused and looking like an idiot.

Or so you thought until the bathroom door swung close and Juyeon stood behind hiding. You almost screamed from his sudden appearance reflected in the mirror but he covers your mouth almost immediately with his right hand, his other arm laced around your shoulders, roughly bringing your body towards him. Your cheeks redden from the heat of his body being pressed against yours and you pray to yourself that he doesn’t notice it.

He whispers in your ear, “if I let go, promise you won’t scream?” There was something different about the way he spoke. It wasn’t as soft or shy and awkward like he usually was, he sounded cold and minacious, which had you shuddering and convinced for a moment that he was as dangerous and fearful as the news portrayed him to be. You nod your head gingerly and he slowly releases his hold on you.

“So you saw the news about me?” he asked and you nod your head once again.

“Juyeon what is all this about? And why are you here? Why appear now? Do you know how shocked and worried I was to see you on TV? What’s going on?” You bombard him with questions and he raises both hands in the air to gesture for you to calm down.

“Look, you’re the only person I trust right now. I’d rather not say much about what’s happened but I need you to let me stay here until I find someplace else to lay low.” If Juyeon is going to break into your house especially if he’s now proclaimed as a serious threat to society and not want to tell you anything, you’re not going to accept his answer.

“You can’t just barge into my home unannounced, let you stay for a while and expect me not to ask questions. I’m worried about you Juyeon,” he looks you in the eyes once his name rolls off your tongue but you’re unable to make out the expression he’s giving you.

“Oh really? You’re worried?” He said rather harshly and sarcastically. You’re slightly hurt that he doubts you.

“Um yes, I care for you. Why are you saying it like that?”

“I don’t know, you tell me, you’re the one partying even when you know what I’ve been up to.” He responds, his voice beginning to sound incensed and aggressive.

A frown appears on your face and you’re starting to understand why he’s upset. You went partying yesterday night because you felt dejected from the fact that Juyeon hadn’t told you anything and your desire to forget about the possibility of never seeing him again because of the crime he committed. You could see how he may have taken your choice to have ‘fun’ under such circumstances the wrong way but you do believe he should try to understand your point of view.

“How did you even know I was out?” He shrugs whilst scowling and you sigh at his petty behaviour. There was nothing to be so stubborn about, he made it clear to you that your friendship was quite one sided. “Don’t get mad at me, first of all, I see you on the news and have no idea whether to believe you’d pull such a stunt. And second, you let me deal with the cops, everyone is forcing the idea that you’re a criminal down my throat and I’m confused whether I know you or not. Do I defend you or do I say nothing?” You can see his expression falter a little from guilt but he immediately hides it and continues to retaliate, returning the same level of firmness in your words.

“Of course you defend me, I’m not just the guy living across the street. We’re more than neighbours, I’m your friend. You do know me.” He pauses to observe your face briefly and gruffly adds, “Partying and getting wasted sure told me otherwise.”

He was turning it back on you and of course this only added to your frustration having to endure such a shitty morning.

“Why are we even arguing? All you’ve shown me is that I don’t know you at all. You’re a criminal now Juyeon! Think about it, are you even the same guy that buys me pens with adorable figurines and decorations on them? Am I supposed to believe that you’re still the person to cower in fear watching horror movies or a thief that stole a $50 million diamond?”

He fills the gap that seperated the two of you and engulfs you in a hug. “I’m sorry, it’s just..I don’t want the only person I trust to leave me. If I don’t have you then I don’t have anyone.” His voice tickles your ear making you smile and snuggle into his chest. His hold on you tightens and he closes his eyes, allowing the comfort of you being in his embrace consume him. “I’ll tell you everything and I won’t ever keep you in the dark again. Why don’t we talk in your room?” He suggests and you nod, playfully grabbing his wrist to lead him into your bedroom.

part 2? this honestly didn’t go the way i initially planned it to :(

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littleoldrachel · 4 years

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i am burned out (i smell of smoke) - part two

guys. the response to this has just been. unreal. thank you so much for all of the kindness and support you've shown me and this little fic. i couldn't be more grateful. y'all are wonderful and i don't know why i was so nervous to post in the first place. thank you.

for now, part two! (look, it's gotta get worse before it gets better!!! (it will get better though, i swear))

i am burned out (i smell of smoke) [on ao3]

summary: in which virgil falls apart, learns how to put himself back together, and realises he doesn’t have to do it alone.

word count: 3.6k ish ( part 1/5 | part 2/5 )

warnings: mental health issues

timeline: i suppose this is set in early TAG verse? jeff is missing and nobody is Coping Well.

happy belated birthday, nutty!! <3

ii.

He’s not better in the morning. Waking up is an unpleasant experience for Virgil at the best of times, only gratified by a large mug of coffee or the necessity of a rescue, but today -

Virgil is aware of the heavy weight on his chest before he even opens his eyes. It’s even larger than it was last night, sucking him dry of what little energy sleep has reclaimed.

Virgil glares down at his chest, half-wishing there was some outwards sign that something is wrong on the skin there. But there are only the same patches of bruises and still healing scars as adorn his whole body.

He takes a deep breath, and feels the strain of it against this heavy weight.

Is he getting sick? He can’t be - he’s only just had the flu, dammit! He has a job to do, and Scott will never let him get away with flying Two whilst sick again if their last shouting match about it was anything to go by.

And even if he were getting sick - which he’s not - that chesty ache is different to this weighty nothingness. Instead of feeling ill, he’s just… tired.

A Scott-like voice sounds in the back of his head, though it’s far harsher than Scott could ever be: concentrate on your job - on the people who need you.

But it’s right. That’s what he needs to focus on - that’ll be what gets him out of this awful funk.

(Because that’s all it is. A funk).

(It has to be).

It’s not better the following morning either. Nor the morning after that, no matter how many rescues he pushes himself through.

His go-to coping mechanism has always been music, and so he makes his way to the piano without even bothering to raid the kitchen for breakfast/lunch. He’s not hungry, which should probably trigger alarm bells but he’s too tired to care.

Instead, he plonks himself down on the piano stool, lifts the lid to his precious instrument, and stares at the keys, waiting.

Only, nothing swells inside of him, desperate to be expressed - no emotion, no thought, nothing.

Virgil has never been in front of a piano and felt nothing. Even before he could play, the very sight of a piano had him awestruck. He remembers his mother playing L.O.V.E just to make him smile, stressing over his finals with endless Rachmaninoff, and pouring out his grief through his own stormy compositions. The piano is and always has been less of an instrument and more of a mouthpiece, a beating heart, a lonely soul that he has bound to himself. For a child stricken mute by tragedy, a teenager struggling in his siblings’ shadows, an adult who can never save them all, his piano is the best way he’s found to dig those feelings out of himself.

Scott has always said Virgil feels things too deeply. He’s right - even in this nothing-ness state, the depths of it are chasm-like inside him.

And so, because he knows Scott would want him to try, Virgil half-heartedly plays the opening melody to one of his most recent compositions - a gentle, comforting little thing - but stops almost at once in frustration.

He just doesn’t feel like it.

(The upset this causes him is almost better than the awful emptiness because at least it’s a goddamn feeling).

The one place he feels semi-normal is the gym. At least there, he can distract himself with the burn of straining muscles and the clanging of too-heavy weights.

At first, even the thought of venturing down here and working out is Too Much, and he can’t quite bring himself to do so.

But then -

The image of a child buried beneath rocks he's too weak to lift propels him forward, a sharp twinge of anxiety in his chest.

And so he rows until his shoulders are throbbing, pounds the treadmill till he can’t feel his feet anymore, presses weights more suited to the exosuit than a man.

His whole body is trembling with exertion as he runs through some cool down stretches. As he makes to stand, his vision tips sideways, flecked with dark spots.

It's a good twenty minutes before he tries again, this time leaning heavily on the weights racks.

He pushed too hard and he knows it. Thank God his brothers weren't down here to see it or he would be in serious trouble.

But it has helped, at least a little. It quiets the worry in his mind that he's useless and the guilt of lives lost. The endorphins of exercise lessen the load on his chest momentarily and though he hurts all over, he'd rather this physical pain than the ache of feeling nothing at all.

Virgil hasn't drawn anything in weeks now, despite the not-so-subtle hints from John that he would really, really like something new for his room on Five (and honestly sending Virgil breathtaking photos of double-ringed galaxies would usually have him mixing up colours at once).

He wants to draw John something - heck, he just wants to draw something. Or maybe, he wants to want to draw something, but every time he sits down with a sketchpad or canvas, his mind empties and his heart is tired.

Like now, curled up in the window seat of his room with a pencil and pad in hand. It's been well over an hour and the page is still glaringly blank, both physically and mentally.

A knock at his door startles him, and Alan's head pokes round it. "Hey, Virg, you busy?"

Virgil throws the pad and pencil aside, almost grateful for the distraction from his utter failings as an artist. "Never too busy for you, Allie, what's up?"

"Oh wait, you were drawing?!" Alan hurries over, reaching for the pad. "That's great, it's been ages - can I see?"

He turns over the pad before Virgil can stop him and deflates. "Oh."

"Sorry, Alan," Virgil says, tugging the pad back so that he doesn't have to see the disappointed worry in Alan's eyes. "Waiting for inspiration to strike."

"Oookaaay," Alan says slowly, "but if you're busy, you should have said... It's fine if you are! I can ask John instead. Or Brains."

"I'm not busy, honestly. What is it you need?"

Alan looks torn. "But your art time is so important to you.. and you haven't had time in weeks."

Virgil sighs, "it's not that I haven't had time. I just don't feel like it at the moment." He means it to be reassuring - confirmation that whatever Alan needs is more important than doing fuck-all - and it's the most honest he's been in weeks.

But instead, Alan looks even more worried. "You don't feel like it? … why not?"

Shit. It's easy to forget with King Smother Brother in the building that his younger brothers have learned from the best. Virgil doesn't know what to do. There's no way in hell he's spilling how horrible he feels all over his littlest brother. And so he does something that will only make him feel worse in the long run but that might disperse the concern in Alan's eyes.

"I mean… I wanted it to be a surprise," Virgil says slowly, hating himself for the way Alan brightens at his lies. "But I've been working on something special for John's birthday."

Alan beams and it's almost worth the guilty squirm in Virgil's chest. "Can I see?!"

"No, no, it's - it's not ready yet." Or started, planned, conceptualised… he's gonna have to get his shit together to fix this lie.

"Okay, okay. Aw man, I can't wait to see it, Virg!"

The guilt only swells, and with it, anxiousness. "What was it you needed, Allie?"

"Oh! Right, yeah, it's Physics."

Virgil blinks. "Isn't John your go-to guy for that?"

Alan bites his lip. "Yeah, but you have an Engineering degree. And also…" Alan sighs and flops down on Virgil's bed. "I don't get it and John's great except he doesn't get why I don't get it and-"

"Say no more." Virgil has himself been on the receiving end of John's frustrated rants; not only did he have to bear the humiliation of asking his younger brother for help, but he came away from it feeling even more stupid and hopeless. Thankfully, he'd had a Jeff to explain it to him in terms he could understand - it's a choking grief when Virgil realises that Alan doesn't have that same luxury.

"It's this equation," Alan is saying, dragging Virgil back to the present. "I just don't get it."

A glance at the page and Virgil feels much steadier. He knows physics, and for once, this is a situation where he can help without failing anyone.

Both on rescues and at home, Virgil has always been the focused, steady rock upon which his brothers can ground themselves. And he's still that, even worn out and perpetually empty, it's just a little harder to maintain it. He's vaguely aware that he's sort of falling apart and he should probably tell someone, even if it means Gordon will be flying his precious 'bird for a while. But the larger part of him is still working to convince himself that he's fine, because he should be fine.

The facade slips a couple of times and each time there's a cost that leaves Virgil so angry at himself, at his uselessness that he can't bear to face anyone.

Scott watches his usually perfect aim fail three times in a row, and is forced to launch himself out of Thunderbird One to fire his own grappling hook. It takes on the first go because he's Scott fucking Tracy, but they’re too close to the ground thanks to Virgil's ineptitude and there's blood everywhere - oh God, it's everywhere - and Virgil is left with shaking hands staring at the man whose wounds Scott is desperately trying to plug.

John hears when he blacks out momentarily in the tunnel system beneath Mexico City. It's just a temporary dizziness from the heat of the packed soil (is what he's telling John, even though he doesn't remember the last time he ate, and forces himself to choke down an energy bar in guilt) but it distracts his brother from wherever else he is needed and Virgil hates himself for it.

Gordon is the one who wakes him sweating and yelling from a nightmare. There's such worry in his younger brother's face as he asks about the dream, but Virgil can't bring himself to explain that it was his father going up in flames over and over, as it has been for months now. A week later, when it's Scott's face replacing Jeff Tracy's, Virgil wakes to a panic attack, but Gordon is nowhere to be found.

Alan seizes his arm at a landslide in south Wales, drags him to a man who is pale, sweating, clutching his broken leg, and Virgil goes into medic mode at once. Bind the leg, treat for shock, arrange transport to the nearest hospital.

Except the man never makes it to the hospital.

Because there’s a hard, swollen bruise up his ribcage that should have indicated internal bleeding. And he didn’t spot it - why didn’t he spot it? He has one job: help people, and he can’t even fucking do that right. The man dies on the way to the hospital, and Virgil can’t breathe. Alan tries - bless his good, generous soul - to reassure him, reminding him that there’s relatively little they can do for internal bleeds, they aren’t equipped for that kind of injury, but Virgil pushes him away with a roughness he’ll later regret.

He’s falling apart and this feeling wasn’t supposed to affect rescues, it wasn’t supposed to be a problem he actually had to face. This wasn’t supposed to happen, why did this happen, why, why, why -

Scott is the one who drags him away from his bedroom, where he’s taken to moping alone.

He doesn’t even knock, simply sweeping through the door in shorts and a tank top, trainers dangling by the laces. “Right, get changed, we’re going on a run.”

Virgil, who hasn’t moved (can’t move) from his bed since getting back from a rescue a few hours earlier, glares up at him. “Nope.”

“Move it.”

“Make me.”

Scott narrows his eyes. “You know I can.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

Virgil regrets the words the second they leave his mouth, because no way in hell does he have the energy to wrestle with Scott right now, but his older brother does something much, much worse.

He tickles him.

Virgil goes into survivor mode: kicking, flailing, shoving Scott away all whilst breathlessly begging him to stop. When Scott finally relents, Virgil flops back on his bed, panting.

“I - hate you.”

“I know,” Scott says cheerfully. “Now, get dressed.”

They begin on Scott’s usual circuit across the beach, chasing the trail up under canopies of forest, and then break away to run alongside the cliff-edges. Most of the heat of the day has faded with the sun, but it’s still warm enough that they’re both sweating by the end of the ascent. Scott pauses at the crest of the cliff and stands silhouetted against the sunset. Virgil slows to a halt next to him.

"What's wrong?" Scott says suddenly and Virgil almost flinches.

"Nothing," he says. It's enough of a half-truth that he doesn't even feel guilty at the frustration in Scott's eyes.

Scott stares at him. "Please don’t lie to me, Virg. Are you getting sick? Are you injured?”

“What - no, I’m not - I’m not lying -”

“Because I swear, if you ever pull that ‘pushing through pneumonia for the mission’ bullshit again, I will ground you for life-”

“Scott, I’m not sick!”

“Come on, Virg, you’ve always been a shit liar.”

“I’m not lying!”

“Then what’s going on with you?! This is your favourite route." He sweeps a hand over the view of endless ocean, soaked pink and gold beneath the setting sun. "Normally you're urging us to get back so you can get it all down on a canvas, and today, you haven’t even noticed. Please, Virg?” Scott takes a step towards him, resting a hand on Virgil’s shoulder. Talk to me?”

The unbridled concern in Scott’s tone hurts and Virgil simultaneously wants nothing more than to fix it and to stop being its cause.

Except that - he's fine, he's okay, he's coping with whatever this is. And he doesn't even know what this is so he would rather set himself on fire than trigger another of his brother's nightmares.

“I’m okay, Scott, really.” Scott shakes his head and Virgil doubles down. “I am, I’m just tired.” (So tired, so fucking tired but no amount of sleep seems to help). “It’s been a crazy couple of months.”

Scott frowns, and Virgil forces himself not to cringe at the intensity of his brother’s stare. This feeling is shaping him up to be a damned good liar, and Virgil hates it.

“You have been looking tired,” Scott says eventually, and Virgil sighs internally. “Do I need to give you leave to rest up - and tell me the truth, Virg, I swear to God -”

“No, no.”

Don’t leave me alone with this feeling and nothing to distract from it.

“Swear it?”

Virgil nods and watches the relief bloom in his brother’s eyes. He almost doesn’t hate himself for it, because he’s trying his damnedest to convince himself that he is fine, even though it’s becoming increasingly apparent he’s really, really not. But he doesn’t know how to explain how empty and tired and fragile he feels, and so he can’t.

“No more skipping family dinners though, Virg. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you aren’t around at mealtimes lately, I miss you.”

The thing is, he's just not hungry anymore - not for Scott's special blueberry pancakes, nor for authentic Italian pizza from his favourite restaurant courtesy of Gordon on the way home one day. He's especially not hungry for Grandma's (literal) rock cake, no matter how hurt she looks by his rejection.

Virgil knows he's losing weight - he can feel it in the looseness of his uniform around his limbs and in how he has to cinch his belt a little tighter than before. He also knows that in intensifying his workouts, he should be increasing his intake to match.

He’s also not sleeping - or at least, not sleeping restfully. His nights are riddled with horrific dreams that he wakes from in a panic, or he spends hours unable to switch his mind off for all the terrible thoughts echoing round it.

The thing is - he can't quite bring himself to care about it all. He’s finding it so hard to care about anything at all (besides his family and the rescues, of course, though even these are draining him beyond all reason), least of all himself.

After one sleepless night, Virgil wanders aimlessly through the house in the groggy rays of the rising sun. Scott will already be on his morning run and Gordon will be halfway through his pre-breakfast swim. And Virgil -

He should be in bed, dead to the world, only to be woken up under dire circumstances or so help me, Gordon -

Instead, he finds himself in front of his piano. It’s been long enough that a film of dust has settled atop the lid, and he traces his finger through it absently, then decides to try. For Scott, if not for himself (definitely not for himself).

He rifles through boxes of sheet music waiting for something to grab him. When nothing inevitably does, he snatches up whatever’s sticking out sideways, and begins to play. The notes are familiar enough that he closes his eyes, waiting to lose himself in the melody.

But that tug never comes.

Virgil finishes the piece just as empty and useless and tired as he started it, and opens his eyes to see Gordon standing there, toast in hand.

“Morning,” Gordon says grinning wickedly. “Long time, no see, Mr Piano Man.”

“Hey,” Virgil says quietly, filing the sheet music away again. He’s not in the mood for Gordon’s joviality right now - then again, when is he ever these days? He feels guilty for thinking it at once.

“What’s wrong?” Gordon demands, his eyes narrowed. He leans across the piano and Virgil glowers at those buttery fingers.

“If you get grease on my piano, Gordon, you won’t live to regret it.”

“Sheesh. Someone got out of bed on the wrong side this morning. But seriously, what’s up?”

“Gordon. I mean it.”

Gordon rolls his eyes so hard it must physically hurt him to do so, but raises his hands in surrender. “Fine. Now will you talk to me?”

Virgil looks down at the keys. “Why would anything be up?”

“Well,” Gordon says slowly, “numero uno, I don’t remember the last time I got to have crunchy peanut butter on toast, which means you’re not eating us out of house and home, which is Highly Suspicious Behaviour. Y dos, you only play that when you’re feeling down.”

“I’m surprised you remember that,” Virgil says, caught off guard enough that he doesn’t even attempt to deny it.

“I listen,” Gordon says indignantly. “Chopping is what you play when you feel sad.”

“Chopin.”

“Bless you.”

Virgil half-smiles, in spite of himself. He doesn’t remember the last time he smiled.

And there’s a moment, where he thinks: tell him, tell him there’s this horrible feeling inside of you and you’re afraid it’s going to swallow you whole, and he’s going to - he wants to - he means to, but-

“I’m okay, Gords, honest. Just nostalgic.”

Gordon looks at him with eyes far older than his years. “You know it’s okay if you’re not okay though, right?”

“Sure.”

“I mean it, Virg. You’re always here for us. Let us be here for you too, yeah?”

There’s a lump in his throat and Virgil can’t trust himself to speak, so he nods vigorously instead. His brother looks uncharacteristically sad as Virgil makes his excuses to hurry off to the gym and it hurts, all these lies hurt, he’s hurting so much.

He’s just dropped the weight when the floor lurches beneath him and he staggers.

Hm. Low blood sugar.

The medic in him is furious at himself, but that guy is also buried beneath a thick layer of exhausted indifference, impenetrable sadness and an overwhelming nothingness.

And so, Virgil does what he does best. He keeps going.

Keeps going through the motions of gym, rescue, take care of brothers, rescue, repairs, sleep, gym, rescue, because what else can he do?

Until he can’t.

There’s a day that dawns bright and beautiful like every single goddamn day on their tropical island. The birdsong is melodic, the butterflies are a tapestry of colour, the sea sparkles beneath lazy golden rays.

And Virgil can’t get out of bed.

Not won’t, not doesn’t want to - physically cannot.

The weight on his chest has finally become heavy enough that it pins him beneath his covers and he cannot shake it off. Every single particle of the emptiness inside him has insidiously become a despair so absolute and almighty that Virgil cannot bear it inside of him but is powerless to get it out. It’s the worst feeling he has ever known - worse than watching his mother die before his eyes, worse than his father turning away from him in his own grief, worse than trying to keep a splintered family together with frayed nerves and a broken heart. He’s not okay. He’s falling apart.

It’s the first time he’s allowed himself to accept these as facts, rather than fears.

But the realisation only makes him feel even more alone.

#thunderbirds are go #virgil tracy #littleoldrachel writes #happy belated birthday nutty!

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bechloetoxicgirls · 4 years

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Canyon Moon Chapter 1

Fat Amy POV: I walked out of my car with Beca behind me. I had on my sunglasses and I put my hand over my face to block the hot sun from my eyes. “This is it girls,” I said as three more girls rose from the car behind me. Jessica and Ashley rolled out of the trunk groaning. “This is pretty cool, I guess” said Beca half-heartedly. Beca had been really upset upon receiving the invitation to Chloe and Chicago’s wedding and all of us had been named bridesmaids. To everyone’s surprise, Aubrey was the maid of honor and not Beca which only made things more awkward between Chloe and Beca. When they were in college and afterwards too they were roommates. I noticed how close they were so I gave them plenty of room to hang out but once Chloe started dating Chicago, things got tense and Beca started distancing herself from Chloe. Chloe’s invitation came out of the blue in sparkly pink handwriting. I pretended not to notice that night when I heard Beca’s sobs.

“This is a really nice spot 👌 for a wedding,” said Jessica. “Though it is hot as hell!”

“Yeah”, replied Ashley, “but not as hot as Chicago! I can see why Chloe picked him!”

Unfortunately, this was when Beca chose to walk into the conversation. She winced at the mention of Chicago’s name and stared despondently into the distance.

Beca POV

I’ve been dreading this day. Chloe is going to marry a dimwitted airhead because like all straight girls, her taste is absolute garbage. She probably thinks young Joe Biden is hot. I just hope that I can hold it together during the ceremony. Thank God Chloe asked Aubrey to be the maid of honor. I don’t think I could take it, having to give a toast to their happy future when all I really want to toast to is my marriage with her. I’m not even sure if I can stand being a bridesmaid. (I’ll just have to channel my inner Taylor Swift and pretend to be straight.)

I am 5'10 suck it lindsey <becqa is like 5’ 2”>fake news probably from salty lindsey

“Ready to go?” Asked Amy, “we’re grabbing lunch with Chloe and the rest of the gurlz at Chipotle”

I snapped out of my reverie to reply, “sure, yeah, sounds good,” but my mind was still filled with thoughts of chloe.

Chloe POV

I take a deep breath before walking into the restaurant. This is the first time all the girlz are together in 3 years and I don’t know what to expect. Mostly, I was worried about Beca. She’s grown more and more distant over the past few years, despite my constant texts and invitations to meet up. After I announced my engagement, she stopped replying at all, so I had to choose Aubrey as my maid of honor, which has gone exactly the way I expected. COMPLETE bridezilla.

Someone clears their throat behind my and I jump, realizing I’m blocking the door. I skitter like a rat out of the way, apologizing, but the person doesn’t move. I finally look up and see Beca staring at me.

“Hey” Beca mutters and pushes past me.

“Hewwo?” I call after her, confused. Is she mad at me?

Before I can run after her, Aubrey appears next to me so suddenly I feel sure that she has teleported and it makes me jump.

“Why aren’t you getting ready for the rehearsal dinner?” She asks me forcefully. “I specifically told you half an hour ago to go to your room and change because the dinner will be starting at any moment but you’ve just been standing here lingering by the door.” I wasn’t processing what she was saying because my thoughts were elsewhere but I made out that I was supposed to go to my room.

I went to my hotel room across the street with my head filled with the way Beca had just brushed past me like I didn’t even matter. When I got back to my room, I laid down on my bed and cried until my head hurt and I was exhausted. I let my eyes close and allowed myself to forget about Beca in my dreams. Or so I thought.

It’s the day of the wedding. I look in the mirror and sigh. Yes, I look stunning and my hot bod fits perfectly in my dress, but it’s for the wrong person. Chicago is great, but I just don’t feel passionate about him. All our conversations feel like small talk.

“Ready?! You have to hurry, the wedding is starting!” Aubrey screeched. I rubbed my ears(which are quickly losing their use to her obnoxious voice) and got up. I resisted a last look in the mirror-I didn’t need to see my miserable expression again-and headed out of the room.

As I walked to the hall(what’s the main part of a church called? I know i’m a fake christian), I tried to amp myself up. This wouldn’t be so bad. I need to get over Beca anyways, she’s happy with tort boi, sad as that makes me. Chicago is loving and kind and he loves me, and as for me, well, I’ll just fake it till I make it. I walked down the aisle oblivious to my surroundings, but when I looked up at my groom, Beca was there, looking gorgeous in a tailored dress. She always did have good taste.

“Why are you here? Where’s Chicago?” I asked, stunned into oblivion.

“Why would you need him? You know I’m all you need. We are aca-perfect,” she replied, her voice soothing. Too soothing. And since when was Beca so forthright and mystical? I opened my mouth to jumble together a response, but all that came out was

“Chloe! You are drooling all over my bed! Nap on your side, puh-leAse!”

Ugh. So it was a dream. Aubrey was still deafening though. I guess that’s the very essence of her soul.

“Anyways, you can’t be napping, you’re the woman of the hour! Tonight is the rehearsal wedding, and everything has to be perfect!” she snapped again, her pinched mouth reminiscent of a snapping turtle. Huh. Maybe she and Theoi should get together.

That line of thinking wasn’t going to get me anywhere, so, with a Herculean effort, I got out of bed, grimaced at the drooled-on pillow, and went to get ready.

Chicago POV

I can’t believe I’ve let it get this far. I mean who knew that when I saw a pretty girl touring with her failing a capella group, it would last this long? And now I don’t know how to get out. But I have to.

I threw off the sheets and rolled out of bed, shivering because Chloe had turned up the AC so high, but she didn’t even stay the night. Our hotel had lots of pictures (over 12) of the Grand Canyon, despite being an almost hour drive away. I tried to picture us saying our vows with the beautiful red rocks in the pictures behind us, but it just didn’t sit right. I knew I had to do something.

I took a quick piss outside (I don’t believe in modern plumbing), and decided to call Chloe.

She picked up the second time I called her, sounding half asleep even though it was already eleven.

“What?” She asked urgently, as though something was wrong.

“Uh, nothing, i was just wondering where you were since you didn’t come back last night.”

“Oh! I just, uh, decided to spend some time with the old gal pals. You know, catch up on life and stuff. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Um… okay,” I said, even though I did understand, because she was just talking to her friends, “are you coming back soon? I kind of want to talk.”

“Yeah sure,” she responded, but seemed distracted by something (or someone) else, because she abruptly said, “catch you later,” and hung up.

I knew we had to talk about our future, because even though she was excited about the friends, and the food, and the planning, I felt, I knew, she was just a little bit less excited about me. This marriage was not going to end in divorce 6 months later if I could help it, so my options are call it off right now, or fake it till we make it. And I think the second option was going to be a little bit harder, so I decided the stronger one of us would have to do something (and I am stronger because I am in the army).

Beca POV

I can’t stop thinking about that moment with Chloe. Seeing her after so long, it all came back to me, no matter how much I’d tried to repress it. Her constant peppy texting had caused me a mental breakdown every time I got a notification. It got to be too much and I had to give her a random number from a burner phone to text instead, like I did with Theo. When I saw her at the restaurant I just froze and couldn’t speak. Also she yelled hewwo and I didnt like that.

Now I’m trying to get ready for the rehearsal dinner, but this dress is uuuuugly. I’m pretty sure Aubrey picked it out because she hates me more than usual recently. The dress is also really tight, too tight to breathe. I give up on making it look nice and cut it crudely down the front with scissors. Hopefully no one will notice. I see that I’m late for the dinner and run out of my room, straight into Theo, the turtle man.

“W.T.F.?!?! What are you doing here?” I demand, angry that he’s slowing me down.

“Woah, heh heh, why are you so worked up?”

I practice my Miss Congeniality self defense - Solar Plexus, Instep, Nose, Groin - and step over him curled up on the floor like a grub.

As I run away from his body on the ground, I turn a corner and run straight into a hotel attendant in the hallway. She staggers a little and almosts trips but I catch her by grabbing her arm to steady her. “Oh I’m so sorry!” I say and she smiles at me.

“That’s okay,” she says and I smile back. She frowns and says “are you okay?” I turn serious and say “ummm… yeah.. Why?”

“It’s just that your smile looks more like a grimace and your dress is all cut up,” and I flinch at because she was right and I wasn’t doing okay. “Do you have a minute? I ask and when she nods, I unload everything I had been feeling lately and about how I really felt about Chloe and how I really felt about this wedding.

“I am so sorry for you,” she said, placing her hand on my arm and rubbing it. “Do you need anything?”

“Actually, yeah,” I say hesitantly to her because I was worried my new friend would be scared off at my request. “Do you think you could walk me to my dinner?”

She smiles and says, “Of course,” Taking my hand, she says “I’m Sophia, by the way.”

“Beca” I say and we walk hand in hand down the hallway of the hotel.

Chloe POV

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I’m at the rehearsal dinner, some snooty restaurant that Aubrey picked. You’d think she’s the one getting married, with the amount of planning she’s put into this. Annoying as she is, I cannot deny that she is dedicated to making my ‘best’ day perfect. Sadly, she can’t change the fact that the person I’m marrying is in no way perfect for me.

Don’t think like that, I reminded myself. You need to fake it till you make it.

“Chloe?” called Chicago, “Can we talk?”

“Yeah, sure-,” I replied halfheartedly, since Beca had just walked in with another girl. They were holding hands and looked friendly. Too friendly. Wasn’t she with Theo? Too many emotions flooded into my mind-sphere and I recoiled from the shock. Had they broken up? I repressed the joy I felt from that thought. It probably wasn’t true, and besides, she was with someone else anyways. But I always thought she was straight… No she was probably just friends with this girl, you know how normal american girlz act… But if she was with this girl, was she cheating on Theo? Should I let him know or let the relationship fall apart on its own? Was this a short fling? Would-

“Chloe! You all right?” asked Chicago, concerned. I shook my head, muttered a “yeah, fine” and followed him off to one of the changing rooms.

“Sorry about this, I wanted to talk somewhere… private,” he explained in a low tone.

Private? What was that supposed to mean? He wasn’t trying to…

“There’s no easy way to put this. But I… this isn’t working. And I’m sorry I’ve let our relationship get this far, but… It was so easy to get carried away. I just don’t feel passion for you,” Chicago said, his face a perfect picture of apology and shame.

Oh thank god, he wanted to break up. I let out a short laugh, which might have not been the best thing to do.

“Sorry,” I quickly replied, “It’s just… I’m relieved. I’ve been feeling the same way. It’s been a while since I’ve felt more than friendliness towards you. At least we didn’t get married yet!”

“Well what’re we gonna do? Call off the wedding obviously, but we’ve prepped so much!”

I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could get more than an “I aca-completely agree wi-” when Aubrey burst through the door. Jesus Mary and Joseph, she really couldn’t have had worse timing!

“Aca-excuse me?! What is going on here?! Do you seriously want to call off my perfectly planned wedding!!!” she shrieked, surely letting the whole wedding party hear our issues.

“Ahhhh!” I screamed at her. “Aubrey! I don’t have time for you to make this all about you! Just because you will never find someone who loves you doesn’t mean that you get to make this all about you!” Her face looked shocked and I stormed out of the restaurant.

I looked out in the horizon and saw the stunning view of the Grand Canyon beneath me. I had always wanted to see the Grand Canyon and had wanted all of my wedding pictures to have the stunning view in the background because I love nature and it was extraordinary that the Earth made this over thousands of years. Amazing. I wanted to get a closer look so I began to walk towards the canyon.

Soon, I heard footsteps following me and I turned to see Beca chasing after me. My stomach fluttered. She ran until she was about 6 feet away from me and we looked in each others’ eyes for what felt like five minutes. I was waiting for her to tell me she loves me but I knew she never would because she loved Theo or that girl she was holding hands with or something. Instead I said “Do you want to walk with me?” She nodded silently and we walked towards the canyon together.

When we finally reached it we stood at the edge overlooking it, staring at it in silence and then she turned to me and leaned in to kiss me. I was so scared that I staggered back and before I knew it I was falling, hitting tree after tree and rock after rock. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was Beca screaming “CHLOE!” and jumping in after me.

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