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demigodofhoolemere · 31 minutes ago
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Reading Voyage of the Dawn Treader and having grown up with the movie of course I knew about the not-subtle repentance process story and I knew Eustace’s return to being a boy was a more elaborate scene in the book but oh my word, this symbolism??? Shedding the dragon skin to represent shedding your sins and old ways that hinder you?? Eustace trying to do it himself but ultimately needing the help of Aslan to free himself from the full weight of it because in the end he couldn’t remove the final layer on his own without him?? The way it can hurt at first but quickly becomes wonderful to you?? Being cleansed in the water and given a fresh skin and fresh clothes, more or less reborn?? The quiet conversation between Eustace and Edmund, another person who once needed Aslan to change him and understands what it’s like to need him to chasten you??
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perc30 · 39 minutes ago
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hey everyone
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spidermonkeyfelloff · 46 minutes ago
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Currently have the worst chills after my second covid vaccine and I wish they would have let us know that one of the side effects is transforming back into your teenage self cuz all I can do is fantasize about how great it would be to have Jacob's 2000 degree body snuggled up to me like Bella in that god forsaken tent
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monabot · 58 minutes ago
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Alright, let’s rest for a bit.
You gave today what you could, and it was enough, even if it doesn’t feel like it now. You took care of what you needed to, and now it’s time to take care of yourself. You’re worth that care. Get some sleep. Sweet dreams!
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2minjeong · an hour ago
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mutuals if we ever meet. i will cook u a meal. i will read a book w u. i will tuck u into a blanket and tell u to sleep tight.
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ritusmiles · an hour ago
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Because Of You by @Dawn_French #Paperback #BlogTour @MichaelJBooks
Because Of You by @Dawn_French #Paperback #BlogTour @MichaelJBooks
The fabulous new release by the awesomeness that is Dawn French is now out in paperback! Because Of You by Dawn French Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock . . . midnight. The old millennium turns into the new. In the same hospital, two very different women give birth to two very similar daughters. Hope leaves with a beautiful baby girl. Anna leaves with empty arms. Seventeen years later, the gods…
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since0202 · 2 hours ago
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Chapter 41: Birth
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February
Things had been relatively quiet the past month. Bella was progressing in her pregnancy, coming up on her six month and starting to look like herself, despite the whole drinking blood thing. Grace visited the Cullen’s place daily and on a mid-February afternoon, in the late winter light, she lay cuddled up next to Bella, one hand laid protectively over her belly as they watched Sleepless in Seattle.
As Meg Ryan folded herself into a closet to speak on the phone, Bella cleared her throat and said, “Charlie keeps calling.” Grace looked up at her with curious eyes.
“And?” she asked.
“He wants to see me,” Bella said unsure.
“You haven’t seen him this whole time?! Bella!” This was new.
“I just...didn’t know how to tell him about this,” Bella gestured to her belly, very pronounced and looking farther along than six months to be sure.
“Well, it’s going to be even weirder when you have the baby and have to present him with that,” Grace said. As if on cue, the phone rang and Grace knitted her eyebrows together at Bella accusingly. Carlisle was there to answer it, but Grace held her hand out while leaning over the back of the couch to take it from him. Carlisle handed it over with a small smile.
“Charlie?” Grace said knowingly.
“Grace! What are you doing at the Cullen’s place?!” Charlie asked genuinely surprised. “Where’s Jake?” Grace rolled her eyes at this.
“Probably at the house,” Billy had been keeping Charlie up to date on Jake and Grace’s relationship. They’d been living together for only a couple of weeks at this point, but having him there full time was like a dream come true. “I’m with Bella.” Grace baited.
“Bella’s there?! Carlisle keeps telling me they're abroad and wouldn’t give me a return date.” Charlie grumbled. Grace gave Carlisle a glowering look and he smiled.
“Rich people, am I right?” Grace replied. Charlie let out a laugh. “Well, she’s back. You should come by when you get a chance.” Bella’s eyes shot wide with fear as she tried to sit up. She mouthed “GRACE!” at her but Grace waved a hand at her dismissing her silent protest.
“She is?! Okay, I’ll swing by after work tonight. Hey, see if Jake wants to show up too. Haven’t seen that kid in forever,” Charlie said musingly.
Grace let out a laugh, “Got it. I’ll let him know to be here.” Grace hung up the phone and handed it back over the couch to Carlisle.
“I’ll let Esme know we have dinner guests this evening,” Carlisle said softly, giving a gentle look to Bella. She looked terrified.
“It’s going to be fine,” Grace said, patting her arm lightly. “People get knocked up all the time. Plus, you’re married so the whole teen pregnancy thing won’t be so scandalous.”
Later that evening, Esme was off to the right in the open kitchen cooking up some pasta with Carlisle helping. Rosalie and Emmett were off hunting and Jasper and Alice were upstairs. Bella thought it would be a good idea to keep Jasper near in case Charlie blew a gasket when he found out about the pregnancy to help cool him off. Edward lounged in an oversized chair while reading Charlotte Bronte as Grace and Bella were halfway through You Got Mail.
Charlie strode through the entryway to the living room and for just a second, neither of the girls noticed. Edward stood suddenly and reached out to shake Charlie’s hand in greeting. Grace sprang up from the couch, a Nerds rope hanging out the side of her mouth as she launched her whole body at Charlie. He caught her and gripped her in a firm bear hug.
“Hey Gracie!” Charlie said delighted.
“Oh! I’m sorry I haven’t come to see you sooner, things have been nuts. I’m instating weekly dinners,” Grace promised as she pulled away from him with a smile. He chuckled and patted her shoulders.
“Sounds good,” he gave Bella, who was covered in a blanket, a glance and then said, “What? You’re not going to give your old man a hug after six months?”
Bella gave him an odd smile. Edward was next to her now, taking her extended hand as she hoisted herself from the couch, the blanket slipping off around her midsection and revealing her belly. She let a hand rest over her belly and looked down at her feet before saying, “Hey Dad.”
Charlie went through so many flashes of emotion in such a short while as his eyes flickered from Bella’s face, to her belly, to Edward, to Grace and back to Bella. When he finally found the words, he said with a soft, almost whimper, “Oh.” Bella was moved to tears as she saw the sheer shock and joy color his face as he reached both his arms for her. He wrapped her in a hug as a bemused Edward stood next to her, beaming.
Grace perched on one of the island stools and picked at some salad that Carlisle had prepared as he watched Bella, Charlie, and Edward devolve into delighted laughter and exultations of excitement.
“I thought that might work out,” Esme said with a warm smile. Grace looked over her shoulder and smiled back just as Jacob and Seth walked through the entryway, their eyes drawn to the sounds of joy by the couch. Jacob leaned down and planted a soft kiss on Grace before he said, “Hey.”
“Hey.”
“So he finally knows? About time.” He said, pleased. Charlie spun around and his eyes collided with Jacob’s, tears apparent around the rim of his eyes. Jacob went to give Charlie a hug, Seth following suit. As she watched the pleasant scene before her, Grace tried to memorize every reaction and every moment as it unfolded. This was something she was fighting for and she wanted to remember it.
Later, when Jacob and Grace were tucked up in bed, spending their last precious hour together before he had to disappear on rounds, she held that picture in her mind. Jake was quiet, contemplative, before he said.
“Grace?” his dark eyes made her melt and she felt a comfortable buzz humming through her body as she looked up at him, allowing their connection to solidify and pull her in closer. His hand rubbed the side of her thigh that she had draped across his abdomen and she felt her body ache with a need to feel him closer. Every breath saturated the air with her desire and she almost felt herself slipping into a different part of herself, a part that wouldn’t hesitate to pull her body on top of his and demand with a look that he take her. Luckily, he seemed distracted by the image of Bella, Charlie, and Edward that she shared with him.
“Hmm?” she said softly, letting her hand trace his smooth jaw line.
“Is that something that you might want?” Jake asked, tentatively. Grace was confused and let her hand pause on it’s path down his neck.
“What do you mean?” Had he really heard her thoughts about wanting every part of his body on her body just then? Despite their intense physical attraction, Jake and Grace hadn’t ventured into the physical territory of their new relationship yet. Grace dismissed this as them just being exceedingly busy and stressed with the impending attack of Sam on Bella and her baby, but maybe it was something else. She readjusted the line of her body on his and his hand gripped her waist tighter. He took a deep breath before continuing, turning his face to meet hers.
“I mean...do you want to have that someday? Kids? With….me.” Grace’s eyes shot wide. Okay, hold on there buddy. They haven’t even had sex and he was talking about making babies?! Grace opened and closed her mouth, gaping like a fish.
“I….oh,” Grace finally got out. Jacob turned his eyes to meet hers now, worry pooling between them. She tried to collect herself and propped her head up on bent elbow to get a better look at him. “Jake we’re….kind of 18. No offense to Bella or anything, but isn’t that kind of young for us?” Jacob blinked a few times and then rushed to correct.
“No! No, no I don’t mean now not when we haven’t even….Oh, god no Grace. I’m sorry. I meant, like, hypothetically, in the way off future. Not like...let me put one in you now,” His perfect russet skin tinged with a deep blush of red and Grace couldn’t help but laugh as he clearly cringed with embarrassment. Grace sat up fully now next to him, crossing her legs and Jacob rubbed his hands across his face, making a groaning noise that indicated he was annoyed with himself.
“Jake,” she said softly after a minute, resting a hand on his arm. He let his hands down and turned to look at her. “Of course,” she said after some minutes of thinking. “In the way off, distant future, of course I see myself having kids with you. There’s a couple of things I’d like to do first, but yeah, absolutely.”
As she said this, her heart fluttered with excitement. She had really never given the thought of having kids with anyone before a second thought and ventured so far as to thinking that maybe she didn’t even want kids. But when he had asked her, so soft and vulnerable, her mind came alive with pictures in her head that she’d never had. And soon after, she realized they were Jacob’s thoughts that had creeped into hers. He held the picture of them in the future so clearly in their mind, their kid’s faces clear and bright. She was kind of amazed at the detail he’d gone to imagine them. After thinking on that picture, Grace clicked something into place and her heart ached to meet those children one day.
“But not tonight,” she said with finality, a smile peeking through her lips.
“Yeah, yeah, okay, I got it!” Jacob said, still embarrassed as he pulled her down onto him and connected his lips to hers as she giggled. Their remaining time together that evening was spent in silence, with soft gasps peppering the air as Jake made sure every part of her body was touched by his wide hands at some point.
It was the very last day of February when Grace was woken up from a dead sleep in the middle of the night by the persistent ringing of her phone. The space next to her was empty—Jake was out on rounds with Embry. Begrudgingly, she answered her phone without looking at the caller ID.
“Hello?” her voice was hoarse with sleep.
“It’s Carlisle. You should come over here when you can. Bella has...taken a turn.” Grace’s eyes flashed open wide as she quickly pulled herself out of bed and dragged on some sweats.
“Is she—?” Grace couldn’t bring herself to say it. Over the past month, Bella had been declining some. Her body was reacting negatively to the blood now and she could barely keep any food down. Her body was starting to hollow out in the limbs again, her cheeks were sallow and her skin constantly had a tinge of yellowy green.
“We don’t know.” he said softly.
“I’m on my way,” she said and clipped her phone shut, throwing on a zip up grey hoodie and her boots before clattering down the stairs. She woke Seth who was sleeping on the couch and he startled awake.
“Get Jake and the others, please.” She said to him as he rubbed his eyes awake. On only the second step of her porch, she recast closely to the Cullen’s house taking the steps two at a time to the door. Grace wasted no time heading to Carlisle’s office that he had essentially transformed into a mini hospital.
Bella was propped up on the hospital bed, her eyes closed, seemingly unresponsive. Grace went to her side immediately as Edward stood off in the corner looking frantic, a hand covering his mouth. On the other side of Bella, Carlisle was working quickly with syringes filled with strange, glittering silver liquid. Grace ran a hand soothingly through Bella’s rough hair, her eyes fluttering around her face—Bella’s cheeks were dramatically sunken, her arms were skin and bone, and she looked entirely too skeletal to be carrying a baby. Her belly pulsed sickeningly.  
“What’s happening to her?” Grace said, quietly but distressed.
“It’s draining her,” Carlisle muttered as he moved to open one of Bella’s eyelids and shined a small light in them. “Her hip broke tonight, she has nothing left to give.” Carlisle looked over his shoulder toward Edward. “It’s time.” Grace looked to him too and his panicked eyes flicked to each of them before he tried to steal himself and took a spot next to Grace, his jaw clenched and his eyes never leaving Bella’s face.
“Bella?” Grace choked out, tears coming to her eyes now. There was a faint buzzing in her head, coupled with the sound of muffled voices, but Grace couldn’t find the focus to access them right now. Her heart rested in this room with Bella and she was going to do her best to keep her and the baby alive if she could.
Carlisle had set up a morphine drip but looked skeptical that it would assist with the amount of pain Bella would endure. As he waited the appropriate time for the morphine to spread, he stayed poised over her exposed belly with a scalpel. Grace pressed her hand firmly against Bella’s collarbone as her heart rate quickened.
Carlisle lowered his scalpel and slid it across Bella’s protruding stomach. Edward’s eyes instantly flicked to the wound and a glittering shell was exposed beneath the thin skin. Grace kept her eyes on Bella, pressing her forehead to hers whispering frantically, “Stay here bells, stay here.”
“Edward,” Carlisle said seriously. Edward lowered his head to the glittering shell and bit and pulled at it, as it made a metallic scraping noise. At this, Bella’s eyes snapped open and she started to scream. Edward stopped immediately, his mouth swathed in blood as his eyes met hers in desperation.
Grace held tightly around Bella’s shoulders as she began to buck and scream, writhing in pain. Her terrified voice cut through the quiet of the Cullen house as she screamed: “DON’T TOUCH HER! ” Bella’s eyes were clouded and couldn’t seem to focus on any one person. Grace held on with all of her might, but Bella in her frenzied state was surprisingly powerful.
“EDWARD!” Carlisle shouted at the shocked Edward, “You have to keep going, we only have a limited time to administer the venom once we get the baby clear.” Edward’s eyes snapped back to Carlisle and as Grace continued to hold Bella tightly, tears streaming down her face as she screamed ‘No!’, Edward lowered his head again, working faster this time. Carlisle stood poised with multiple syringes at the ready to administer.
Bella’s screams were almost unbearable as Edward tore through her stomach. Once he had pulled open the hard shell encasing the baby, he reached in and swiftly removed the infant, cutting the cord with his teeth. The baby let out a sharp cry and Bella’s eyes snapped to it in recognition. Bella’s screams had quieted and she was suddenly still. Edward was transfixed by the infant now crying in his arms, and tears of pure joy sprang to his eyes.
Grace was watching Bella, her eyes darting to the open wound that was her stomach as blood pooled onto the floor below. Carlisle’s hands were moving quickly and his eyes met Grace’s for a half a second, beckoning her forward as he attempted to remove the hard casing that the baby had been pulled from.
“I need to remove this and sew her up as much as I can before the venom to give her the best chance of survival,” Carlisle said to no one in particular. He was able to disconnect the shell from her and set it on a short metal table. Grace’s eyes were transfixed on the seemingly serene look on Bella’s face as she gazed adoringly at the squalling baby in Edward’s arms. She glanced over at Grace, raising a hand to grip Grace’s wrist and said, barely above a whisper,
“She’s so beautiful, Grace.” Bella’s eyes glistened with tears. “You have to protect her.” Her speech was slowly slurring and she rolled her head heavily back to look at Edward, “Renesmee.” She whispered before her eyes fluttered closed.
“Bella?” Edward said, his eyes now widening in alarm. Carlisle was working quickly, stitching her up her delicate, thin skin, but he knew she was dying. Edward’s hold loosened around Renesmee and Grace lunged forward across Bella’s limp body to grab her. Edward was collapsing in on himself, his hand stroking back Bella’s hair as he frantically said her name over and over.
Grace cradled the newborn in her arms and locked eyes with her. Every instinct in her told her that she had to protect Bella’s daughter at all cost. It felt irrational, it felt surreal, but it was the right thing to do. It was her choice to protect her and she’d happily make that choice.
“Carlisle!” Edward wailed. “Do something!” Grace stumbled back as they took filled syringes with shimmering liquid and began to inject Bella from all points around her body. At one point, Edward, desperate, gave up and lowered his head to gently bite on every open surface of Bella’s body to ensure his venom entered her quickly.
Grace turned quickly and carried Renesmee out of the room, unable to feel much of anything except the overwhelming weight of protecting this child she now cradled in her arms. Renesmee’s cries had quieted as if she understood the severity of the moment and was hoping to bring more peace by quelling her tears.
Grace wrapped her in a blanket over the sofa and looked down at her again. She was beautiful, with a slight shimmer under the pale glow of her skin, almost imperceptible. She had Bella’s chocolate brown eyes and Edward’s smooth pouted lips. A thick mop of golden brown hair swept across her small forehead and Grace carefully ran a finger down the bridge of her nose. The baby cooed softly in response, her eyes still locked with Grace’s.
It’s time. She heard a distinct growling voice out past the treeline. It was angry, determined and she felt a pang of fear erupt in her stomach. Without a plan still, Grace carried on out the door, trying to put the scene unfolding in Carlisle’s office out of her mind. She had one job—to keep Renesmee safe and Grace was determined to die trying if that’s what it took at this point. She wouldn't let Bella down. She just didn’t know how she was going to do it yet.
As she descended the front porch steps and made her way into the woods holding a newborn infant that barely made a sound, Grace wondered for a split second why no one was coming after her. However, her question was quickly answered when she felt the clear presence of Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper in the trees closely followed up by the soft padding of Jacob to her right. Seth, Leah, and Embry brought up the rear. The full moon’s brightness illuminated the gnarled branches of trees. Her breath made ghosts in the air before her and the baby looked up at her, quietly.
Still no plan. Her own voice echoed in her head. A dark figure padded into the clearing, a low snarl escaping it’s lips.
“Sam.” Grace said as soon as she saw him.
Let’s end this now, Grace. He replied as soon as he was in front of her. His nose sniffed tentatively at the air around him, taking in the obvious smell of the Cullen’s who were walking out into the clearing now. Jacob emerged after them coming to a rest next to Grace.
“Look Sam, it’s just a baby,” Grace said. Okay, she’d start with reasoning. Sam wasn’t so far gone that he couldn’t see the small squirming bundle innocently cradled in her arms. Grace held the baby out slightly away from her body and a hiss issued clearly from the Cullens behind her. “See?”
It’s an abomination.
“Bella’s dead.” Grace said softly. She could hear a crushing sound from Jacob like a whimper, “No rules have been broken.” Grace wiped the image of Edward’s head clearly leaning over Bella’s body, breaking the skin with his teeth as he frantically tried to fill her with venom in an effort to save her life. “I—”
ENOUGH. I’m sick of this. I’m sick of you choosing them over your brothers. Your family! Let us do what we were born to do! Sam started toward her but Grace was faster, pulling a wide shield that knocked him back. She saw the other members of his pack pull forward out of the forest as if on command. Her eyes flickered to each of them, pleading.
“Sam, please! You’re not going to do this. You’re not going to kill her or me or any of us over something like this. I know that’s not who you were born to be,” Grace’s voice was stern but Sam growled and bucked against the shield, trying to crash through it by scratching and tearing at it.
For a moment, Grace was terrified. The Cullens were pressing forward now, sticking behind her shield but flanking her. Jake was nosing Grace back and getting in front of her. The other pack mates darted forward on Sam’s command and starting tearing against her shield. All at once, Grace felt immense pain as they collided with it. Her knees began to buckle as she grasped Renesmee against her chest.
And then, as she curled in on herself in pain bringing her forehead down close to Renesmee, a tiny hand pushed out of the blanket and grasped Grace’s cheek softly. Grace gasped as the pain in her melted away as Renesmee showed her Bella, in her last moments before death, swimming in such immeasurable love at the sight of Renesmee, talking to her as she lay spoiled in her belly the days leading up to her birth and the smile of Edward’s face as it beamed down on her for the first time. Grace felt her shield falter as she became momentarily distracted by Renesmee’s vision and Sam’s pack moved forward.
...need a better plan!
They’re not going to stop.
Jake what do we do?
I can’t kill them.
It won’t come to that, stay behind me!
A flurry of voices circled in her head, but it suddenly became clear what Grace needed to do. The Cullens were up against the shield now staring down the wolves and causing the fear to rise in the pack. Jake looked over his shoulder at Grace for a moment and as he did, Grace nodded at him once and mouthed, ‘Trust me.’
Recognition flitted into his eyes as Grace let her shield fall. In one movement the wolves were on the Cullens in a frenzy, foaming at the mouth. The Cullens responded in kind and no sooner had the thrashing started when Grace sucked in a deep breath, pulling in as much energy as she could from around her. The sleeping trees creaked toward her. With a concentrated exhale, Grace pushed the energy boiled up through her belly out around her in one big gust. An explosion of blue light swept across the clearing, pushing the wolves and the Cullen’s apart. Even Jacob was knocked back to the treeline. As he frantically scrambled to his feet, he paused.
Sam was frozen in the clearing as Grace walked purposefully toward him with Renesmee in her arms. Jacob hesitated, watching. His eyes darted around to the others who also seemed frozen. The Cullens seemed glued to the ground where they fell. As Grace strode forward, Renesmee held her hand out of the blanket, reaching toward Sam. Jacob’s eyes went wide.
Grace’s eyes were clouded over but she felt entirely in control. As Renesmee reached her outstretched hand up toward Sam’s muzzle, Grace felt the ripple of energy sling-shot back to her like a rubber band. The glittering, blue light surrounded the three of them. Renesmee’s tiny hand touched the side of Sam’s face that was twisted into a snarl, but as soon as her hand landed, the fear dropped away from him. Renesmee showed him Bella in her weakened state, love emanating from her eyes in only a way a mother so newly in love with her baby could and as her eyes flickered to Grace, Sam heard the words Bella had asked of Grace echo clearly in his head “You have to protect her.” Tears were forming around the edge of Bella’s eyes in that moment and her lower lip quivered, something Grace hadn’t seen before in her panic.
Love awash with pain. Renesmee held Bella’s face in her mind for Sam to see for a moment longer and then dropped her hand. The forcefield around them dropped at the same time and everyone sprang back up ready to attack but held off. It was like time suddenly sped up and everyone was getting back to their places. Sam stumbled backwards unable to shake the image from his mind.
“No monsters live here, Sam. It’s just us.” Grace said quietly. His eyes connected with Grace’s again and she saw the fear resting in them still, but something in him had shifted.
Behind them, the sun started to rise.  
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elioenaimona · 3 hours ago
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Cape Cod Kwasa Kwasa
The other thing im enjoying about this is that i fnally have thoughts other than i miss eli, i miss eli, i miss eli. i miss you, i do! I want to hold you and I see photos and watch videos and miss you. i still remember the way you smell, and the way you feel. i know you don't remember those things about me. I think it's because you dont want to. you left thinking youd see me again but once you realized u didn't need that idea of home that you found in me anymore, you forgot the comforts you found in holding and being next to me. like i said, i'm proud of you. Did you want to, like you know i wanted to? you didn't. im proud of you! you will find the person who you want to do things with, like they want to do things with you. will i? questionable. but im ok finding the right meds to feel most comfortable with myself. i dont need adventure yet. i know i will one day. i can feel that now, and think that now, without thinking how will eli come with me? where will eli be if i choose to do this at this time? how can i make eli fit into the folds of my life most comfortably? i can just do that for me now.
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celestial-rhyme · 3 hours ago
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📸: 6-may-2021 // 24-Ramadan -1442
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stahlaeugig · 3 hours ago
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Something serene about having your last drink at dawn, watching the sun break through the night in a graceful grey...
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