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thedreadvampy · 2 years

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god I'm so mad about PE ALL THE TIME

for a long time I felt bad about being mad about PE bc I was like. oh it's just that as an overachiever academically I Could Not Cope with not being good at a subject. how silly. this is probably how maths class feels for people who are bad at maths etc.

but I really don't think it is. because the goal of a maths teacher is to teach you maths. the standard they're being held to is to give you the tools to get better at it. if they don't we understand that as a failure of teaching, at least conceptually.

PE/gym teachers do not seem to be held to the same standard. the main role of PE teachers seems to be to Force Children To Exercise rather than to Teach Them How. it's like if the full extent of maths class was just giving you pages of equations and saying 'do these until you know how to' and if you say 'I don't understand this' they say 'try harder' and at no point do they even briefly explain what an equation is, the basic idea of how to do it, or what success would look like. and when they do a test they don't mark your answers individually or tell you where you went wrong or the right answer, you just get told 'you're bad at this.' (tbh not even 'you're bad at this do better' honestly just 'you're bad at this and will never be good at it')

I've talked to so many ppl from so many different school settings who are like 'I was awful at sports and then after I left school someone pointed out one very simple and obvious thing I was doing wrong and suddenly I found it super easy'.

if somebody can't do a pushup, teaching doesn't mean yelling at them to try harder, it means taking them through the process of building up to a pushup. if someone sucks at running, teaching means saying 'you're wasting all your energy on kicking your heels up, you need to be pushing down into the ground' not 'haha this guy sucks at running everyone look how slow they are'. if somebody has an asthma attack every time they play football, teaching probably looks more like 'here are some lower-impact exercises you can do on the side of the pitch while we play' not 'ugh fine sit out'

the point of PE being a compulsory subject is a) to keep kids active and b) to instill habits of exercise they can take into adult life. possibly c) to play Team Sports and develop socially from that.

but almost everyone I know who is afraid of or doesn't think they can do exercise learnt that at school. because the way PE tends to be taught consistently prioritises people who are already good at sports, and tells everyone who isn't that that's something inherent to them.

I tell this anecdote a lot but my mum was a world class athlete in the 70s and 80s. literally she has 3 world championships in women's rowing under her belt. she was invited to compete at the Olympics. she's good. but she spent her whole school career being told she couldn't do sports, couldn't run, was only good in hockey for standing at the back looking threatening etc. she found PE miserable and she was fully convinced sports just wasn't it for her. then she discovered archery and slapped at it. then she went to uni, joined the rowing team and within her first term learnt from other rowers how to fix her running, how to do pushups and situps in a way that worked for her, how to get to a place where she could comfortably do weights - because her teammates were working with her, not getting mad that she didn't fit the PE box made for her.

it's just fucked imo how much of a site of misery PE is for so many of us. and we're made to feel like that's a reflection on us being Unfit Lazy Sloths who Don't Want To Exercise and not a reflection on how it's taught. most kids want to exercise if you help them find an exercise that's fun for them and a way to do it that meets their needs. most of us like to be active. it feels good.

but PE teachers en masse, and I'm sure there are plenty of exceptions but in general, aren't interested in fitting the exercise to the child but in fitting the child to the exercise. and so exercise becomes this site of shame and inadequacy and anxiety.

I'M NEARLY 30 AND I KEEP DISCOVERING EXERCISE I LIKE! stuff that I have done before and hated! but in a setting where I'm being encouraged and guided towards succeeding instead of shamed for failing I'm having a whale of a time! I've learnt to like swimming again, dancing, climbing, running (still bad at it though), straight up working out (situps and pushups still injure me so I talked to a PT and they helped me design around that instead of telling me to do it more)

it is fucking insane. that the vast majority of us found specifically PE this immense site of trauma and distress and overwhelming negativity and yet. we're just fine with that as a society? we're like hmmm yes sounds like it's the kids' fault for being lazy and unfit and not instinctual athletes. all of them, including ones who are very fit out of school or later in life, and despite the fact that this is so much more across the board than hatred of literally any other single subject. yes. it's the children who are wrong.

#red said

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bioethicists · 11 months

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hey i'd really love it if you could say more about biopolitics? i hadn't heard that before and it seems fantastic.

😅 u guys humor me too much- these type of asks are like catnip for me i am rolling around on the floor

biopolitics was originally conceptualized by foucault in a series of lectures- the very simple explanation of it (which foucault scholars probably would feel doesn't do it justice) is that the state has a vested interest in creating citizens who are "healthy" (as defined by the state usually by military/work readiness) + reproducing more "healthy" citizens (in this way it often intersects with outright eugenics). people often refer to it as the politics of "making live + letting die" (necropolitics by achille mbembé is an incredible analysis of this second part, focused on colonial power's interest in determining who dies)

what this means is that, at its core, the state engages in programs to improve the "health" of the population not out of altruism but because it needs a supply of work-ready, combat-ready, reproduction-ready individuals. the concept of "health" is tied up in one's ability to perform labor in service of the state, so much so that disorder or the severity of disorder becomes defined by this ability. public health efforts center not on decreasing suffering but on restoring the population to a condition in which they can once again perform labor (including reproductive labor) + serve the greater needs of the state.

my friend cora at umadison did an excellent presentation on how the u.s evokes within "anti-obesity" campaigns a concern that "obesity" is a threat to military readiness. messaging concerning family planning/abortion are often engaged by the state to coerce certain ppl into having children + others NOT to, based on the idea of the Type of Citizen they want. on a deeper level, this haunts us from birth- were there programs to try to improve your mother's pregnancy? public school health surveys? scoliosis tests? presidential fitness tests? irt COVID-19, whose death was seen as acceptable + whose death was seen as worth preventing? was prioritizing a 'return to work ' an out-of-the-blue approach or a natural conclusion of a public health system structured around producing + maintaining a steady supply of labor? none of this is asserting that state public health intervention is inherently BAD, just that its core motivations are not altruistic but rather political (so it has no interest in expanding into a public health model where fitness to work/serve/birth is NOT seen as the marker of health).

a very cynical read of the opioid epidemic would be that the state is so heavily involved now because it is finally impacting individuals that they want to Make Live. harm reduction is reluctantly being adopted (thanks to the tireless work of incredible activists!) but only if it can fit into the framework of Making Them Live Until They Can Become Sober. sobriety is the unspoken end goal not because it reduces suffering but because it allows for workers. the truly liberatory logic of harm reduction, which focuses on autonomy + safety + reducing suffering, is antithetical to the motivations of a state which openly despises those who don't 'produce' proportionately to what they receive.

my interest is in reimagining medicine + the body + disability + suffering outside of this biopolitical framework by acknowledging that our very definitions of all of these things have been engraved in the public imagination with labor production in mind. i'm not interested in trying to create new state programs that are 'untouched' by biopolitics because that's impossible + i can still extract tangible benefits from it (for example, i got all my covid vaccines early + for free bcuz my labor was important enough for the state to invest in my life). the idea is to engage with these programs clear-eyed + willing to look at who we Make Live + who we Let Die. most importantly, we can find what lies outside it all + envision new ways of living

#anti psychiatry

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bruciemilf · 11 months

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tim-liker here! :3 thank u for responding, i think i get ur point. i also am not partial to ppl treating him like he won the suffering olympics or smth bc everyone in that family suffered -- just in different ways. he did suffer a lot of losses all at once, but i think the point of his character is his tenacity to stick to the lifestyle -- arguably to his own detriment bc the things he did to cope...he tightropes the morally grey area like no one's business n tbh that's what makes me drawn to him. i guess nothing i say can make u like him but maybe i can try giving a new perspective...? i'm aware that some of his stans -- with good intentions or otherwise -- tend to blame bruce (who was depressed n mourning) for tim's hardships when he was robin, but i personally see him as the robin who was most fitting to work w/ bruce even when bruce was in that mental state, bc tim is the one most similar to bruce in the "headstrong, mission-driven, self-isolating" kind of way. welp idk if all that makes sense?🥲 but maybe what i'm rly getting to is i rly love ur bruce/batfam/(and bruharvey!!❤️💕) hcs so it's kind of sad that sometimes tim gets sidelined bc some of the takes on his character are...like that. anyways thank u again for replying!! sorry for rambling in ur inbox lol

That's more than understandable! I would love for Tim to be given the complexity he deserves, because you're right, I do think his moral ambiguity can be interesting. As long as it really IS ambiguous and fluctuates.

Moral ambiguity goes only as far as the person writing it and their own angle on morality in general, I think.

My definition of it is a person who understands the stakes, the sacrifices, the bad side effects, and how their decision impacts people around them. Because the grey part has to BE grey. Otherwise youre just writing a self aware asshole.

You don't have to be the hero, but you don't need to be a villain.

Tim, for me, is incredibly self-aware. He knows what's wrong with him just as well as he knows what's wrong with everyone else.

He's a perfectionist and he's self critical and he's goal driven to the point where people get hurt because of his emotional detachment and inability to comprehend that his decision have long term consequences.

But I don't think that's a red mark on HIM, because hey, everyone in the batfamily is like that. The fandom's problem is not understanding that there's no black sheep in a wolf pack.

#asks #tim drake #meta #dc #i agree with everyone who says tim is woobified. but darkness can only make up for complexity so much #i think the core lesson in the batfamily is that they're all incredibly flawed and incredibly damaged people who choose to be good #when they have every reason to be evil

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minipisi-is-dumb · 1 year

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real long saiki rant guys sorry not sorry i love this show and i can talk about it all i want

ughh i forgot why i wanted to leave the saiki k fandom spaces and then i reopen Instagram for 5 seconds to find tons of ships with saiki with captions like "you see he wasn't a total asshole to kokomi that one time which means they're destined to be in love"

uavvs i wanna fight someone so bad the show is not about romance is about saiki letting himself have meaningful friendships and accepting his condition and realizing people care about him that's why the aroace interpretation adds to it because he alienates himself to on top of everything Not be involved in romances with anyone else.

"oh but he admits to be a tsundere in the chapter with the grandfather" my brother in christ the grandfather being a tsundere with his family because he didn't wanted to admit he cares about his family just like kusuo doesn't want to admit he cares for his friends THAT'S THE JOKE!!! the entire point of that chapter and in general jokes with the grandfather is characterize kusuo caring for the people around him in his Own Way. the whole tsundere thing is weird af to associate it with exclusively romance because he acts like that with everyone in his life

"oh but he softens to kokomi" THAT'S THE POINT the entire point is that they GROW TOGETHER and form a solid friendship

i remember ranting about this month ago but!!!! like there's a thing called need vs want in a story n all that narrative jazz

need: what a character has to learn in order to finish their development

want: what a character desires to have/become/do/etc by the end of the story AND the reason why there's a story in the first place

not every story has this obviously but most do and saiki is no exception, different relationships he has during the show and manga are made so that we can explore his biggest want:

being normal, irrelevant and alone

so with every character he learns to interact with others, see kindness and all that

now kokomi, her biggest want is to be the perfect girl, part of being the perfect girl in her book is getting all the boys, and since saiki does not like her she (wether you interpret it as a genuine crush or not idc) pursues him, making it a secondary want that still impacts most of their interactions

now the thing is that these two goals in these two characters (saiki being alone and kokomi wanting to date him) is that in order for both of them to mature none of those goals must be fully met

you see what saiki Needs is to learn to trust and accept ppl in his life and accept his own differences to himself, while kokomi needs to learn to let herself not be perfect absolutely all the time AND that not everything and everyone will bend to her whims

so in order for their mutual relationship to help them grow, they can't end up together or Kokomo doesn't learn, but they can't end up never talking again or saiki doesn't learn anything

what is the best way to show that? making a solid developing friendship over the manga and anime. kokomi is extremely important for saiki's development to even be more open to other people like aiura or akechi which also become important in their own but let's go back for a sec

↓do you know why I like this scene so much?

i like it because it's the peak of their development, here is saiki helping her and supporting her while the text doesn't frame it as a romantic action in nature. is about giving support to someone you've grown to appreciate no matter what

that scene allows teruhashi to be in the finale↓

they might not remember it, but this is saiki confessing that he has grown to care about the people around him and the friends he's made over time, is saiki accepting change so that he can finally end the time loop and keep living

every character is made to foil for saiki in some way, in order to all grow together and since it's a character driven show, everyone who was in that scene deserved to be there since they are.now part of the people saiki cares about

listen i could go on and all but this is long even for me

so yeah, this alongside the powers not counting as an argument to separate him from being aroace (it's literally missing the point of the show) make me tired of ppl just. thinking the whole aroace saiki is just for two or three lines in the dub y'know

saiki being aspec adds to the narrative for the way alienation is shown with his peers, besides the ND coding of course

ugahbssh whatever man i just learn at this point to enjoy the show, but i wanna still talk about why it means so much for me this funny comedy series :) ty for reading

#saiki k #the disastrous life of saiki k #aroace #aromantic #asexual #minipisi.txt

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submalevolentgrace · 2 years

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can you explain your relationship with the word trap? i am into reclaiming slurs big time but that one always felt a step too far. I associate it with the tropes that trans people are deceptive, the trans panic defense, and reactionary trans ppl who i feel like kind of sell us out. But i also know that reclaiming can be really powerful, and that other slurs imply similarly horrible things. Would love to hear your thoughts!

gonna be honest, i don't have particularly strong feelings about the word 'trap' these days, i mostly just threw it on the list to round it out, and replace a few other words i didn't want to imply were slurs. i used to like it but i've grown up and kinda left it behind, i usually only ever call myself a trap if it makes for a funny joke among friends

you're right that it has pretty awful connotations, and i think it's perfectly understandable to find it particularly bad

for my personal context: in the era and corners of the internet where i spent my late teens and early 20's, around the time i came out for good, the words 'trap' and 'futa' were absolutely everywhere and had a mostly positive aura about them; politically incorrect yes, fetishistic yeah often, sometimes used derisively yeah ofc; but on the whole, used in the context of desire, approval, and goals. traps were cute and beautiful, but also usually overtly gender noncomforming and obviously trans; something that brought me great comfort as i struggled with passing and others' perceptions of myself. things have obviously changed since then, 'futa' seems to be universally understood as negative nowdays (unless it's being wilfully misrepresented to use a 90's nintendo power interview with a minor sprite artist to twist facts); while 'trap' has become impolite at best in mainstream, but seems to be relatively evenly split between alt right memers using it to couch hate, and being used with pride and love by that genre of hypersexual intentionally subversive 'fuck gender' femboy/tgirl crowd; and all the power to them for it!

the answer the broader question though, in general i think that the 'slur vs reclaimed' way of looking at words is.... bad and unhelpful at best, and a tool to disguise horizontal violence more often than not. it presumes that there's a monolithic "us" that can be defined in opposition to a "them", and that "we" can achieve consensus agreement on a single lexicon of words that are good and bad... which is basically false assumptions all the way down! but constructing a monolithic "us" and aggressively enforcing language use is a good tool for those that want to erase certain people/identities/cultures they don't like, by subsuming them into approved boxes withing the monolith.

i'm much more fond of the idea of 'words of power': that because of cultural use, certain words are particularly strong and sharp and impactful: faggot, dyke, cripple, crazy, whore, slut... a bunch of racial and ableist words i personally don't feel comfortable saying.... but you get the idea. words that, for no reason other than how they are and have been used, land in a sentence with the impact of a brick, no matter the context.

and if they're going to hit powerfully no matter what.... why not use them ourselves? some guy on the street shouting "fucken dyke!" at me and my girlfriend as he walks by has selected that word for its power, in his mind its power to hurt. i could cower from him and exhaust myself trying to 'educate' people that word is a 'slur' and fight an endless battle that said man won't ever care about, and constantly update the list of unspeakable words as he finds some new thing to shout hatefully instead... or i could snap around in an instant a shout back "fucken right i am!", sticking up two fingers and licking in a crude combination of "fuck you" and "i eat pussy" at the same time... and the power is mine again. he doesn't know how to react, he fumbles his words and his feet, and i'm gone by the time he gathers himself. it's not even that i've taken the word back from him; it wasn't his to begin with because i was already holding it. he tried to come at me with a sword, and not only does he find it doesn't hurt me, he suddenly sees that i'm fucking made out of swords! i'm not some self loathing, fearful target anymore. i'm a fucken dyke! a queerass ladyfaggot bitch! oh you wanna stab me? i'm a goddamned sword golem, motherfucker!

obviously there's a time and a place. the above not-hypothetical guy shouted at me on a busy melbourne street where i was confident enough i'd be defended and/or a sympathetic victim if he turned violent; and that's not always assured. but when it's safe, holding words of power, words meant to hurt me, definitely makes me feel safe powerful and and strong... especially compared to constantly running on a treadmill of ever changing "acceptable" terms mostly invented years after i came out.

i mean, i've had a crucifix-wearing psychiatrist say "LGBT person" at me with such dripping hatred that i knew she would lock me in the psych ward as punishment for my sin if she had the slightest chance... anything we call ourselves will become a word of hatred for people that hate us. and let me tell you, being able to turn it back around and say "actually i prefer to be called queer" at her, and seeing the shock in her face contrasted against the stifled smirk of her subordinate next to her.... it feels good! real good. a sharp word of power deployed tactically at the right time can teach a bigot that they can't control you, because you've got the courage and anger to fight back.

of course, words of power have to be wielded willingly. i'm proud to be queer, but i know that word doesn't sit right with everyone (the word gay doesn't sit right with me, i get it), so i try to keep mental tabs on my friends and keep words to myself depending on company. (people that insist i change my beloved identity because they don't like it get cut out of my life). and if some abled shithead is trying to force """help""" on me i'm happy joke about my "cripple skills", but i'd never call another disabled person that word unless i'd heard them self identify with it first, because it's up to each and every one of us what we're comfortable with.

anyway, i think i rambled away from the original point a bit... but yeah, hope that kinda answers.

TL;DR i think trap is a fine word if people want to use it, because despite its literal etymology being pretty awful as you describe, it also has some positive cultural use, and words always exist in some context; there's no such thing as a word without context. i wouldn't die on the hill of defending that specific word, but i do have a fortress on the hill of "let people use whatever words they want for themselves, even and especially 'slurs'" that i will defend to the death.

also. if i could psionically project a gif of admiral ackbar in midair every time a radiologists asks me if i there's a chance i'm pregnant, i 100% would.

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grishaverse-chaos · 1 year

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Whenever I see ppl say Iike “Alina should’ve gone back he would’ve told her the truth” or “why would she have trusted Baghra who’s not a good person” (which now you want to talk about morality??) or something like that I’m like “ok if he did tell her then that would probably make it worse actually.” I just feel as if that argument they had in the tent was bound to happen with or without Baghra’s words but idk I’m feeling petty today

OOOOOOH this is such a good point, and I honestly think that..... yeah, Darkl!na is pretty fucking dysfunctional, actually

What truth is there to reveal once she already knows his plans for the collar? That he plans to use it to kill innocent Ravkan civilians? Yeah, why would he tell her that when he's planning to ENSLAVE her to achieve that goal anyway? (Hence why he never told her any of it from the start.)

In the debate I've been having about Alina and the Darkl!ng, I've been working with a hypothetical Darkl!ng who isn't evil, but the canon Darkl!ng is an entirely different matter

And also, whether or not Baghra is a good person doesn't matter. She's right about the Darkl!ng lmao.

So, yeah, I think there's a couple different ways it could have gone, but none of them end with the happy evil power couple some Darkl!na fans want

Option 1: he tells her his whole plan (or parts of it - maybe he lies and tells her nobody innocent will die, since he knows she wouldn't be okay with that) and she believes him, she agrees to do as he says. They get the amplifier and get out onto the Fold, and as Alina is in the middle of executing the plan, she hears people screaming and realises that he lied about nobody dying.

Option 2: he tells her nothing, and she refuses to listen to Baghra. She stays at the Little Palace, and realises that the Darkl!ng lied to her when he kills the Stag instead of allowing her to do so.

Option 3: she runs away, but before she can meet Mal, she has second thoughts and goes back to the Little Palace. The Darkl!ng, who already thinks of her as a traitor, removes a lot of her privileges and goes after the Stag immediately, leading her to realise that Baghra had been right.

Those are all I can think of, but like..... Alina and the Darkl!ng are two very different people, with very different priorities - and yes, their respective ages play a huge part in that.

People talk about how Alina is selfish, but honestly? She's a teenager. Good for her. I have a short personal anecdote about this, actually - one of my best friends would make a brilliant activist. They're kind, responsible, they'd be great at community organising. They're good at talking to people and fixing people's problems. And so on.

They don't do any activism, because they tried, and it had a really bad impact on their mental health, so they took a step back. Maybe someday in the future, they'll decide to try again, but right now, they're 14 and they're prioritising their mental health.

Honestly, my friend's story has really influenced how I see Alina - because being the Sun Summoner is really bad for Alina's mental health. It makes total sense that she would want to take a step back and prioritise her life and freedom.

#this got a little personal at the end but i think it's an important point to make #because alina IS a teenager and i feel like the fandom as a whole tends to forget that #and criticize her for perfectly normal teenage behaviour #grishaverse #mayhem.txt #mayhem grishaverse originals #anti darkling #alina starkov #sparkling

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lorelaysblog · 2 months

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people love to preach about a healthy lifestyle,

about how you should have a schedule for everything and do things clean and slick,

about how you should not leave things to reckless fait,

but every single person who mentions all of this inside wants to make you look like the rough one,

sometimes life left to faith is stupid, sometimes someone else speaks for you sometimes you speak for yourself and and make lots hate you,

sometimes you can’t be perfect,

sometimes it’s a cry for help,

and sometimes it’s healing,

those ppl love to pretend

how they don’t have bad habits and how anything that happens in their life is planned,

well i think that’s boring,

i think that’s how society wants you to live,

they want to draw you to your tipping points,

they want you to be consumed by it

by this “perfect life” you’re supposed to buit for yourself,

why is your goal settling down somewhere nice with the love of your life and two kids???

why can’t your goal be something else why are different minds frowned upon?

THEY WANT YOU TO CARE TOO MUCH

and that’s not how lifes supposed to be lived,

i love to think how i should enjoy this and how at least my life isn’t boring,

love to act confident and inspire others like i don’t struggle myself,

inside its tearing me apart because i can’t control everything,

and i make it look like it’s planned,

but whilst i burn myself out at least i’m helping kids not be like me,

teaching everyone something is my goal,

i don’t want this perfect life i want to be remembered in someone’s mind till death will make them forget!

i want to have an impact on people and not be invisible,

yet still i don’t want to shout my mind to everyone,

i’ll only let those who are like me in,

i want to make the uncomfortable, comfortable in who they are,

and i want them to do the same to someone else,

i want to be relevant so bad,

yet i just think for myself,

i want to say all this publicly,

but the second i imagine myself on that stupid stage whit red curtains and a microphone it feels like all i have to say is too personal,

too misunderstood,

and i love being vulnerable but i can’t do it.

i tell everyone that’s what they should do but i even doubt simple things,

and what eats at me slowly is the thought that i’m the only one who thinks like this,

everyone says that i’m not ?

but that’s not true,

i try to talk and no one understands,

so only i think like this ?

we’re all different,

we all think differently,

but if so ..

then from where the understanding?

form where the comfort?

i think everyone died trying to be understood.

i would like to add that i know this isn’t one of the best pieces of writing it’s just scrambled thoughts across a page that i would like someone to understand and maybe resonate with.

#spilled thoughts #far too young to die #far too much #far too long #poem #poems on tumblr

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honeypiehotchner · 2 years

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alsoooo just read “i’m hardwired differently” (your autistic!reader x hotch fic) for the first time at like 3am this morning and it’s a CRIME that i didn’t know about this sooner !! 😭 omg as a fellow autistic person i’ve always felt insecure ab not being a great conversationalist and feeling clueless w ppl but i’ve never rly acc thought ab it much bc i feel super aware that it’s the way i’m wired and that feels pretty difficult to change 😄 but to see someone writing about it so clearly and candidly felt so refreshing like u took the words right outta my mouth?!?! and made me acc think ab it properly and acknowledge the impact ASD has on my social life even tho i try to ignore it by saying “i’m an introvert so idm not being able to talk to many ppl!!” bc it honestly does suck for me at times !! anyway, ty for your more “indulgent” fics bc a lot of the time they’re the ones w a greater amount of intrinsic passion bc you feel so strongly ab the matters brought up in them 💞💓💗 (i felt so connected w your one ab eczema i think it was?? and i don’t even deal w eczema man that’s just how good it was 😭😭😭)

AWWWW thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺💛💛💛

this is so sweet, wow. i'm so so glad it resonated with you just as much. that was 100% my goal!! i never see any autistic!reader fics (or not many) and so i've tried to incorporate it more so we can feel just as seen in these fics 🥺

and same!! i'm a big introvert and always have been, but it's def something i was kinda forced into being since i'm autistic but i do like socializing!! it's just very hard and feels very complicated and that always makes me feel very insecure and self-aware in a bad way ://

ALSO ALSO so glad you loved the eczema one 🥺 that one brings me so much comfort omg

will def indulge myself more with my fics 💛💛

thank u sm for this sweet message, it means the world 🥺🤍

#sweet asks #you ask i answer #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfiction

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gennabi · 1 year

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FROM THE UNUSUAL(ISH) ASKS <33333:

1, 4, 6, 10, 11, 13, 15, 16, 17, 18, 20, 23, 25, 27, 32, 34, 38 and finally, 39!

ANSWER. THEM. JULY. ANSWER. THEM.

XxX pls & thanks XxX

- MBA 🥦

IM ANSWERING. IM ANSWERINGGGGGG.

warning, very very long.

1. who’s your celebrity crush?

i have LOTS lmaoo but right now , it's my girlfren lesserafim's sakura !! and we also have the always and forever my boo; chanmina !! and and taehyun and beomgyu from txt hehe

4. do you think its ok to separate the artist from the art?

OOOOH actually i've thought about this for a long time because it's quite... gray? and initially, my response would be "NO. WTF. THE ARTIST IS HORRIBLE." and i still somewhat stand by that. but then again, it's not like you can't compliment their works AT ALL. (which again, i've thought like that too at first). when it comes down to it , liking their works and supporting them are two different things. but then again, the arts and entertainment industry as a whole is filled with fucked up assholes who produce ethereal works. so, my answer in the end is yes. and no. yes because there's ways you can experience the art without directly profitting the artist or you just can't be that bothered to know every single artists' history and issues which is woo valid. and also no, because especially for arts, to make something out of nothing, is to produce with what you have and it's mostly coming from within, from a place of not so good intentions. and it's also bad because they're praised / walking around freely with a list of immoral actions trailing behind their back all because people put them on a pedestal and "but they're so good at what they're doing!!" while the ppl impacted by said actions were shunned

6. how many pairs of shoes do you have?

six shoes for the sixth question !! lolz . the dream is to have a shoe collection hehe my favourite one is my black heels because.. because... heels... pretty... pretty heels... pretty...

10. name a dog

the first that came to mind was mr chew from penguins of madagascar LMAOOO

11. what unusual talent do you have?

not sure if it's a talent but i have clairaudience if that counts? also i'm usually very calm during high tension situations (which then made me became the person assigned to rude customers during my part time job lmaoo) but downside is i get tensed in "normal/low tension situations" aha i still dont know exactly how that works

13. ever prank called a store?

i wishhhhhh i did but i'd feel too bad for it. i did prank called the police though (dont follow this, kids) but like that was when i was a.. well, kid.

15. what’s a question do you constantly get asked?

there's nothg in particular but it always surrounds fashion and the ol' "do you have a boyfriend?" because if you're happy and are always present in cute outfits, it must be because you have someone romantic. and apparently that's everyone's goal. /s

16. if you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where?

this panel right here.

left inner thigh, slightly to the front and closer to the knee. not very beginner friendly and i might accidentally kick the artist because tickles tickles but hayakawa family is worth it.

17. google the top song from the year you were born

foolish - ashanti. niceeeee ill give it a go later

18. rant about your favorite musician

wanted to rant about the loml tomorrow x together but for today, ill talk about cigarettes after sex. idk their personality and cant be bothered to be interested in their life so ill talk abt the music hweeeeee. their music gives a very "come home and get yourself warm" and it always soothes me. when i feel a little lost and overwhelmed, putting their songs makes my heart at ease. like a very tight hug. like a blanket is draped around my shoulder and my face is cradled gently as the universe whisper to me, "it's okay, little child." it'd be VERY nice to slow dance to the songs too but idk how to slow dance in the first place so aha. and with that said, my fav song of theirs rn is "k - cigarettes after sex".

20. describe your blog in 3-5 words

requests shipped in 3 months. (or more. im sorry.)

23. if you could break one of your bad habits which would you choose?

to actually listen to my body. :)

25. what’s something you can’t stop buying?

this is so funny because im actually experiencing that rn which is rare bcs im careful w where my money goes. but last week was filled with hot roasted milk tea from tealive. in general though.. not exactly buy but i can spend hours looking around furnitures stores # ikea the light of my life . on a second thought , books / comics which ended up not being read </33

27. how long before a trip do you pack?

the night before. i pack fairly fast but if i pack on morning of the day, i wont get to be slow and enjoy my time hhgh so i always settle w the night before.

32. how old do you get mistaken for?

it's actually really bad. sometimes can be good. but ive had people thinking im four or five years younger than i am. but now that im in uni, ppl mistake me for being one or two years older but that's only because that's the average age of people taking the course. though outside uni, around my age but i think thats mostly because i drive a car lmao

34. do you like your hogwarts house or do you wish you were a different one?

i loathed it at first. and then i just sort of accepted it?? AHAH. because i also cant think of other house i am except the one im assigned to. and your boo is from gryffindor <3

38. post a picture of the outfit you would choose if you could have any outfit you wanted

i want to try every single style there is but im particularly drawn to thgs like these

39. describe your aesthetic

i don't have one... anythg that feels like a hug to me is my aesthetic? if that makes sense. fashion wise, it really depends on what i feel atm (no fixed style in mind) but in general, smtg a bit like these <33

BWAH IM FINALLY DONE UWAA that was SOOO NICE but felt like it took forever HWJAJAA THANK YOU FOR THE ASKS ANON heart eyes heart eyes

#...... what do i even do with your brocolli my beloved #smh #my beloved anon ♡#gennabi 📬#gennabi 🏷

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llepto · 2 months

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who wants to be my beta reader for my legion backstory /hj

on a more serious note, find more infos under the 'read more'.

I'm genuinely hesitating about which one of my Legion version I should post/choose. There's no really physical changes, just either it's

Close to canon : bringed to life by Olly

Backstory version : all coming from different place

long txt.com [i'm sobbing the whole text make it sound like i did something bad such as smashed three bats to death with a baseball bat and making apologies]

If i choose the second version it'll take me time because i still have a lot of researches to do about some part. Like trauma responses or gender/sexuality or chill stuff like ASL or flower language. Moreover, the second version is the main one I have in my mind whenever I talk abt them to my irl friend. So idk.

I'm asking because idk if you remember but i planned to do more detailed infos posts on my legion. However i'd rather have another pov on the backstory than my irl bro pov [who said it's fine [fine in a way: "you do researches and don't fall into clichés so… that's fine" - @bbg-com 2023]. If I post the detailed refs and people are uncomfortable/uneasy/triggered, it is abolutely not my goal so that's why i'd like a feedback on this from pmtok ppl following me [if you'e not following and I follow u, that's fine too].

i'm pretty afraid some ppl will think it's too much problematic. and i don't want to it to happen so that's why i'm asking. if i have to change everything, i need to find other backstory/way for Olly to have an impact on the young adult. [kemm's droping info woo] like if i remember correctly, only my Copen and Rubber Bands' backstories were created half to be linked with Olly and half linked with headcannon I have for these two. Also if you want a number I'd say 3/6 [/7 if you count handaconda] have very rough backstory.

All the backstroy were made to answer to this: How the hell Young Adults between 21 and 25 would obey to a 12-14/15 y.o ?

idk if i'm clear or not afnje genuinely sometimes i explain stuff badly :,)

also if i decide to stick to the second version, i'll will do a lot of prevention like the backstory part will be warned with all the potential trigger warning, and also all the infos would be written under an eyestrain drawing so double prevention. i don't want to make ppl uncomfortable so i still don't know what to do aafnej

Genuinely, if you want to know, i have all their backstory written in a doc so if you want me to send it to you, feel free to ask. If you think it's way too harsh, tell me [maybe with what I said you'll think it's not that harsh but idk]

I have a summarised version of their backstory but if you want the very detailed one, tell me.

BTW please note that I probably won't go in a lot of details like trauma answer/other because I just want to mainly post dubasses stuff but if I decided to do animation/comic linked to their backstory, maybe I'll need to go into more details.

SO yeah. Also idk if someone will be reading this and propose to be a 'beta' reader but just in case knows i'm really open to any type of commentary/return on this. And also will be available if you have question.

thank you a lot if you decided to read this, even if you doesn't interract/answer.

also by saying a beta reader, if more than one ppl want to read it, it's really good. [but like if you have any tw, pls warn me because my goal is not to trigger warning you]

#kemm rambles #i'm genuenely asking this to myself for months atp i think #but like #yeh #might reblog this later just in case #i think the worst are like copen and scissors and rubber band #also sorry for the typo #wrote this from my pc notes

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emmawithtwoms · 3 months

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I'm gonna be fucking rude bc I'm fucking tired of ppl, so tw or whatever the fuck

OK SO, I truly hoped I didn't need to make a post like this, but people need to SHUT THE FUCK UP ON THE INTERNET.

I'm tired. If your goal is to be mean, don't go into the internet.

If your goal is to annoy people, don't go into the internet.

If you can't do a fucking mediocre job at a reading comprehension, DON'T GO INTO THE INTERNET.

I posted a funny video on TikTok some time ago, it was about my dad chating and gossipping with my friends while smoking, so nothing bad right? Nobody would think to comment something mean below that video right? I mean, it's just fun, people aren't that dumb right?

WRONG, FUCKING WRONG JESUS CHRIST

I've had people commenting on my dad's look. My dad, a 54yo medic who (along with other things) spends every day, oh, I don't know, SAVING LIVES???? that's not the point, ANYWAY: my father has a Hernia in his lower abdomen, that means his belly is VERY pronounced, like, he looks really fat (DON'T FUCKING COME AT ME FOR USING THE FAT WORD BECAUSE THAT'S NOT THE POINT AND Y'ALL KNOW IT), and people commented on that, saying that we were promoting a unhealty lifestyle, that it was not fit for being posted on social media, that he should go to the gym and shit.

now, babes, I think a moncellular bacteria could predict what I am about to say, and an ameba would have understood that these comments were useless, but still:

1- We don't give one (1) fuck about what u think.

2-If you don't wanna see that content, just fucking scroll.

3-Get a fucking life that's not so miserable that you feel the need to comment hurtful things under other people's videos just so you can feel a sparkle of power in your truly sad life.

I am fucking tired of people who do not know how to behave on the internet.

If you are a pathetic excuse of a man whose only joy comes from saying anonymous things on the internet againist strangers because you feel worthless and emasculated, then you should take you head out your ass, unplug you internet, read a book and start working a bit on yourself.

Hate is damaging, it impacts on your hormones productions, it creates more bile and that busies your liver, who can't substain that stress, overworks itslef and develop a tumor. You are killing yourselves by hating (And making my oncologyt dad richer, you fucking dicks)

ps: I offer grammar lessons for middle school kids, in case someone doesn't understans the meaning of this post and is going to hate in the comments

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hopeididntscareyou · 2 years

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Japan's criminal justice system is a complete joke. They all got away with it like they just did it for the lulz. Thats why personally I'm not really a big fan of law enforcements and the law doesn't scare me either. Honestly, If somebody were to hurt my loved ones like they did on Junko Furuta, I would take the justice in my own hands. I wouldnt wait for police or the court of law because theyre not gonna do shit. The anger and the fury inside me is enough to kill them back, of course giving them the same slow and painful death. Quick death is never an option. I`m sorry, but pain has to be repaid with pain for people to really understand it. I said this before here and im going to say this again. i'm always been a revenge person. I find that when i try to "forgive" i just end up subsconsciously hold this grudge in me that just keeps on growing and is making the situation worse. I feel like its more about power kind of thing, and as human beings we all have these instincts and innate desires that can go out of control. Like they said balance is the key, but theres no balance when theres injustice. its not fair

Tbh i dont know why im wasting my time writing this shit. I have to memorize a total of 6 pages for a certification test i'll be taking for work tomorrow. Speaking of work i'm starting to get burned out of going to work. Its mainly because there are people from work that drains me so much because i find them too clingy. Honestly its always like these wherever I work, my coworkers would always want to be BFFs with me and peer pressuring me to spend even more time with them outside work despite the fact that i already spend my time with them more than 40 hours of my life every week. I'd like to have good relationships with my coworkers but i dont want them to be all up on my face 24/7. Also most of my coworkers now are men, so they are just trying to make a move on me and its making me cringe. I have been more dismissive avoidant to most people and i do acknowledge that it may be a problem but i cant just imagine to be anything else right now. I just have no room for people to be close to me right now. I have stopped making efforts into maintaining old friendships and it didnt have negative impact on my credit score whatsoever. I dont even feel offended by the fact that they dont ever reach out either. I just hope that if i was ever kidnapped, raped, tortured and murdered like Junko, they wouldnt be crying on my grave pretending i was the bestest friend and shit. People are so hypocrite and too deluded to believe their idealization shit that are far from reality but really its just all about themselves. Its natural so i dont see it as anything disturbing. Its just amusing to me that there are some new people wishing i give them more attention and then there are some people i generously gave my attention to out of respect as ppl who i have known for a long time, however i dont feel like they are returning the same respect to me thats why its just all fucking pointless to continue giving them my energy whatsoever. Its not like it has affected my life in a bad way anyway, because no i am not depressed or self isolating, i am just too preoccupied with my own goals and dont have time to spare. I know it sounds like bullshit because at the start of this i literalky just said i have to study for a test and i ended up wasting even more time rambling so i gtg

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dianapana · 3 years

Text

SH Day 2: Fashion Statement

Modern AU, OOC

@sasuhinamonth

Bullies exist everywhere you look, in school, at work, on the street and most of all, on the internet. Countless bullies hide behind the anonymity the internet provides them in order to bring down strangers for no apparent reason. But there is always a reason, jealousy, an inferiority complex, a superiority complex, or plain and simple the bully is a pile of trash and no one should call it a human being. One of the worst things one can do when being active on social media is read the comments, because no matter how many positive comments there are, one bad comment outweighs them all. Scrolling through my Instagram I see the perfect example of this issue. Hinata is barely an acquaintance, I have not seen her since middle school almost a decade ago, she’s not active on any social media, or at least she wasn’t until today. The picture in front of me brings back all of my past thoughts of her, how pretty her face looked, how refreshing and pleasant her lower voice tone was; out of most people I was aware of at the time, she was one of the least annoying. The only thing that bothered me at times was her meek demeanour, how easy she’s fold under the pressure of bullies; and it would appear that she had not changed in that particular category.

The picture was there, I liked it, I looked through the comments, I saw all the negative ones, I saw them misgendering her due to her short hair and baggy clothes, I saw them calling her names; and then there was nothing, because the picture no longer existed. Much like in school, the bully applied pressure on her, and she caved in on herself and chose to hide.

I wish I had taken a screenshot of the picture to post myself, but that would have been an invasion of privacy. She looked older and more mature, her hair was much shorter than in middle school, almost a buzz cut. She had always worn baggy clothes, but her style developed to streetwear, all in all, the picture was, in my opinion, a work of art. But as soon as it appeared, it disappeared. I can’t explain why it bothers me this much the fact that she took it down, but it just does.

I hate all the entitled fucks that think people own them anything. Females do not own them femininity, males don’t own them masculinity and gender non-conforming people don’t own them an androgynous appearance. Gender and fashion style are different issues, they can reflect each other or not. People use clothes for various reasons, as art, as means of expression, or they use them to hide. We talked about this during one of my courses in gender studies in university and it fucked with my brain how many people, young people that are supposably ‘woke’ heard that for the first time. I was shocked how many were unaware of things that I consider common sense.

I have the urge to reach out, assure her that the shit those incompetent fucks commented is the furthest thing from fact. Maybe I also feel guilt, because I was aware she was bullied in school and never helped, my apathy always made me so sure that it had nothing to do with me. It wasn’t my issue to fix, it wasn’t my battle to fight, and this isn’t either; but I’ve also learned to understand that being quiet might not be as hurtful as actively attacking the person, but it’s damn near close enough. So, I click on her blank profile and shoot her a short message. ‘the pic looked nice. U didn’t have to delete it just cuz some ppl don’t know what style is’

It was partly to comfort her, and partly to prove to myself that I’ve become better even in the slightest. I press the lock button on my phone and the screen turns black, I put it screen down on my bed and leave the room trying to fool myself and the universe that I don’t care if she replies or not.

I return to my work desk, continuing this charade, I am actively trying to not think about it, but the more I try not to think about it, the more I think about it. There is something about a 24-year-old Hinata looking the way she does, yet listening to haters, that just doesn’t sit well with me. I’m still in deep thought about the issue when my laptop dings, letting me know I received an email. I half expect it to be Hinata, but it’s work-related and my focus turns to that for the time being. Work keeps me busy for the remaining of the day, enough to push the whole issue out of my mind for real. In a blink of an eye over 9 hours have passed.

I wasn’t able to fully finish everything I wanted, due to some issues but I have to call it a day, since I worked overtime quite a lot. I go back to my bedroom and pick up my phone ready to order some delivery for the night when I see that Hinata responded.

“That was very thoughtful of you, thank you for the kind message.”

“I agree that I shouldn’t let myself be brought down, but it’s devastating in the moment.”

“I’ll try again.”

Her last message makes me click back on her profile to see that she reposted the picture with the caption saying ‘fuck you’. A sense of pride flows into my body, and I can’t fight the urge to comment as well, ‘fuck them all’. I go back to our little chat.

“Im glad u decided to post it again.”

I’m trying to formulate a compliment that doesn’t sound weird, I don’t feel like we are close enough for me to call her beautiful or pretty without it sounding like I am flirting, stunning sounds extreme, sexy and hot feel somewhat disgusting; yet all these five adjectives describe her, because she is beautiful, pretty, stunning, hot and sexy. I’m in the midst of this internal battle when I receive a reply.

“I am too. Thank you again”

I don’t feel like I deserve thanks, so I decide not to write back ‘you are welcome’, but I still want to compliment her so I click back to look at the picture, seeing whether having the picture in front of me will help. I’m lowkey annoyed when I get a notification that I have a new message from her, I am hell bound on finding a compliment and she is hell bound on stopping me. Either way, I click on the message, but upon reading it, my annoyance dies.

“I’m actually in Konoha for the first time in forever. I was thinking…if you maybe want to meet up? I’m here for a month, let me know if and when is a good time for you 😊”

Under normal circumstances, an invitation to ‘hang out’ from any former classmate be it elementary, middle or high school would annoy me further and I’d turn it down immediately. But for some reason, the idea of meeting Hinata after so many years, seeing what she is up to, interacting with her now as adults, makes me oddly enthusiastic. I reply before I can overthink the issue.

“Sure, we can meet, I’m free every Wednesday and throughout the weekend.”

Her reply is almost instant. “That’s perfect! See you Saturday” Reading her message makes me forget what day it is, so I have to look at my phone’s calendar; Saturday is the day after tomorrow, in less than 48hs I will see Hinata. My feelings are conflicted, they lay somewhere between nervousness, which is new, and giddiness, which is even newer. In order to calm myself, I do what I always do, set a goal. By Saturday I’ll have an appropriate compliment for the picture and her, it will have more impact if I say it face-to-face anyway, yes that’s the reason I want to see her, so I can feel as if I completed this little mission of mine, no other reason…

#sasuhinamonth #shmonth #sasuhina month #sasuhina #sasuhinafanfic #hinata hyuuga #hyuuga #susake uchiha #uchiha #dia story #diawrites #fanfic #day2

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aks3raao1 · 3 years

Note

Me, to Luja: So tell me about yourself

Luja: No

Me: ...ma'am I need to write the story—

Luja: Good luck <3

[now that I do think of it, ALTERNATIVE's main duo that's established right at the beginning is literally a chiller but edgier Katsuki and way worse sUrViVe Nagito genderbends]

~~~~~~

Luja Sen, she/her

Anyways, Luja and Romila are friends from middle school (the story starts with the beginning of their high school at AoS (Academy of the Specialised) which was essentially founded by Nyx). Luja gains her Specialisation (Ferrokinesis: The Ability to bend metal) at the age of twelve, so she has it for a lesser time period than Romila.

Luja primarily wants to become a scientist. Her family is happy with that, because it's praised and everything, especially in our society.

She has a gifted child superiority complex. Being a gifted child + Specialised means that she hardly had many friends in school. Her family had tried to get her to socialize....which didn't go down too well.

She believes that most people are annoying because they waste too much time on useless things like gossiping and what not, which she never showed much interest in and doesn't like to be dragged into those nonsense.

She is friends with Romila since they do share the same taste in stuff and were the only Specialised ones in their class. And they kinda stuck together for most of middle school and went into high school.

She has a problem when it comes to seeing Romila since she tends to see her bad parts and is like, "It's a phase" considering that it's not necessarily affecting her. Romila doesn't get too cranky with her since she fascinates her, with her passion™ for science. Also because she isn't all self sacrifice UwU.

Luja cares for her own self above others (but tends to put Romila pretty close to that hierarchy, which is why she's one of the only two Romila trusts during the Mansion of Death (the other person is Kratanos)) however she also does want to keep what friends she has and is generally caring towards them.

She has a genuine love for science and loves to discover how things work and why, and her favourite facet is Physics. She does want to invent things and honestly just make stuff easier for the Specialised who face a LOT of issues, especially when it comes to amenities since the government is an ass about accomodations and they gained the Fundamental Rights like ten years or so ago in the ALTERNATIVE timeline. And they gain an additional right ("The body won't be harmed for science") when they graduate from school, after signing a contract that they dedicate themselves to helping the government when called upon. (The whole contract is stupid and basically oppresses them more especially the punishment for not abiding by it).

With her goal of becoming a scientist, she wants to use her talents to make accomodations specifically for them so that she could have done something.

The things she fears the most is failure. Failing as in being unable to accomplish her goals. She is afraid of it because it's an unknown variable that's constantly haunted her and she's working hard for it to never reach her.

I suppose there's a way for her to confront that fear during the Mid terms at AoS where she essentially "loses" in the practicals due to her......teamwork issues.

Everyone thinks of her as stuck up and isn't interested to listen to her much and since she views the others as annoying people with annoying habits, she tends to fail to regulate them, causing Romila to win instead (yes, it's THAT unfortunate of a situation) in their match, which causes her to review a LOT of things and she tries to see what caused her to lose after having a severe breakdown.

She develops an inferiority complex in respect to Romila and then spends a long time wondering where she went wrong.

Rena (who somehow clung to her) tries to cheer her up but gets turned back halfway, but she still stays on and Luja is like, "Wtf" until she sees Romila going entirely off the deep end (she presents an interesting contrast to how Koldin sees Romila as well, she sees Romila's behavior and considers it as a justification for her own self....she uses Romila to justify herself a lot (since if you asked Romila, Luja was more or less fine according to her since she wasn't being a doormat and stood up for herself) while Koldin sees Romila as the reason he should cling onto his own stuff) and realises that she could be on the path to destruction herself and accepts Rena's help and tries to be more open to others which leads to the Mid terms parallels in the Archenemy of Society arc where she "succeeds" instead and manages to get the class together enough to escape the situation.

However it doesn't mean that her fear of failure has entirely vanished into the blue, she just reviews the ways she can fail better now and works around it to avoid it and has more confidence in her own self. But she is still scared of failing and would love to avoid that more than anything. However she's chiller after that.

Her intelligence is more or less on par with both Romila and Kratanos, making them the three main strategists in the final battle against the bigots (which is basically a rerun of the Mansion of Death situation but way way worse and fucked up and has different leads to it).

....

The thing is that, no matter what I do, she winds up feeling like one dimensional/repetitive, which is something I am trying to amend about all the characters (I mean, I had to revamp a lot of characters so it will probably take me a long long time to actually get to writing.........sigh besides she stands up like a cardboard amongst people (I mean, you have Romila and Kratanos with extremely complicated storylines and then you have her. Just there))

So the main question is how to make her more interesting as a character and on par with the rest while still keeping her character flaws and personality?

I think the easiest way to go abt this is to view her as a sassy Bakugo. They have the main points in common. They're salty, don't like to socialise, feel inferior to a certain someone while still having some semblance of confidence and a terrible fear of failure

Now as much as I hate to compare your character to another one, it makes it a lot easier to have them become - as my English teacher would say - more. So I am sorry if this comes off as offensive-

For Bakugo, he became interesting by playing a big part in the mc's main story and we do get a few scenes where his vulnerability is shown. I assume it's the same with your character but...what rlly ties the knot for me when it comes to Katsuki is the fact that his problems...are more than just an inferiority/superiority complex. His whole thing stems from background especially (*cough* abusive mom *cough*) and the fact that he's not the main character (or rather that the story isn't being told in his perspective).

These facts make us over think and want more of him. The mystery draws us in which is why I think Luja's character is so perfect for someone in the background. She doesn't like to reveal things abt herself and is pretty dismissive to most things on top of that (plainly just salty). Her character rlly draws you in and the best way to portray those kinds of characters is through another character. Ofc, you'd have to get to their POV eventually but it's important to note that most of the details should come from someone else's POV (an observer, if you will) instead of info dumping and starting straight with hers. A character that's mysterious with a very simple yet relatable story attracts a LOT more attention and interest when seen from someone else's perspective than when you kickstart it from theirs.

Ofc, if u are planning (or already have) started the story from her POV, that would be a bit problematic in terms of interest. But not a train wreck. This is where my other point comes in. The point of making a character have more than one problem

Different ppl as well as characters have a main problem but also different ones, no matter what way you look at it. It seems that even you are confused with all ur character's ins and outs (dw, we've all been there... I am still there tbh) and a solution to that is backtracking a bit and looking at their life from the very beginning in HEAVY detail (like more than u already did). Think abt what other trauma could have been caused, what doubts and fears could have slowly crept it's way to her heart and head (I am a sucker for long-lasting doubts that develop over time) and anything you can even so much as GRASP on. If you look at it and see it as a possibility, try to fit that into her character and add it subtly in different places (as subtext or a creative pattern, wordplay, doesn't rlly matter as long as it's not openly stated bc, remember, the key thing to these types of characters is mystery).

For example, a fear of failure can stem into anxiety before the character has even lost smth later in their life. They probably get rlly anxious when evaluating smth but don't show it much or at all so no one notices. This adds even MORE to the character bc you can build it up after other events. Like once they have failed, they could probably get even more anxious and then develop a bad relationship with the person who beat them (double the points if it was a friend). You could build all that up and turn it super toxic instead of jumping right to the healing. It makes it more interesting, doesn't it? Plus, reevaluating almost everything including world views after 1 loss is...kind of hard to believe even with anxiety (no offense)

Adding a lot of little problems and thinking abt how Luja's behaviour can impact other characters helps a terrible lot if ur doing most of the story from her POV. Especially since she's probably the most relatable character (from what I've heard anyway). I have a certain saying... it goes like, "It's better to have a relatable and connecting character than one with a problem that is too big for normal people to fathom."

I like characters with heart-wrenching problems that I would never be able to relate to (take maybe Shigaraki as an example ig?) But my favourite are the ones that make me feel as tho I made a real connection

Also, I would like to say...if ur looking to progress her character even further, I would debate on whether it's the complete end to the novel or if there'll be a second part. If it's a second part, keep some of Luja's issues. Make her get better but not completely "YAY, I AM DONE BEING TORMENTED". If it's the end of the novel/series/etc., make it so that she's resolved most of most of her issues. They don't have to be completely gone but they have to be a lot better compared to how they started. And how i would work that out is a mind map but knowing ur a scatterbrain...lets talk it out where everything is all over the place

Luja's main thing is to gain confidence in herself and be finally ok with losing, right? If you ask me, that's a tough one but not impossible. I think to get her from point A to point B is to put up a bunch of events like:

Get her super anxious when doing smth

Lose to *insert person*

Have a breakdown and over think on what she could have done better (on the project or whatever she lost at)

Get even more anxious and totally mess up the next thing

Lose once again (double points if it's the same person as last time)

Overthinking abt how she's not good enough

F i g h t i n g f r i e n d s c o z d r a m a

"YoU'rE nEvEr GoNnA gEt BeTtEr If YoU kEeP tHiNkInG aBoUt YoUrSeLf"

Over think abt no. 8 bc out of options and ideas and ✨a n x i e t y✨

Try listening to others more and become b e t t e r

Win smth (bc creator forbid 3 losses in a row to start depression)

Lose again (there is gonna be a bit of back and forth but is necessary for development)

"I tHoUgHt I wAs FiNaLlY dOiNg SoMeThInG rIgHt AnD nOw LoOk"

"Losing is not th3 3nd of th3 fucking world, you lunatic"

"WELL, IT IS TO ME, BITCH"

*insert psychology somehow idk*

Another loss

"I'm angry...but I'm ok"

Note that idk where bullying would come in and these are only how I would think it to go-

A character like this isn't rlly my strong suit when it comes to them resolving their problems but they are fun to write and think abt-

................................did I just give you advice on how to traumatize? I-

#writing #writing advice #wow i rlly am a sadist #character analysis #KK's character #well shit wtf did i go on abt-

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shoezuki · 3 years

Text

Tommy's prison/revival arc isnt well written actually

Anyways ive been wanting to talk on it a while for a bit here but havent had the Time or like. The thought to. But im gonna go off now.

First off im gonna say im ASSUMING this stream and plot of tommy being in the prison with dream is written entirely by tommy and dream. Wilbur May be involved in the latest stream but im not sure.

Bringing tommy back to life after only three days of him being dead did practically nothing to progress plot, the characters, or audience's understanding. In fact i feel that it damaged Other characters' potential and plot and already established plotlines.

The 'development' aspect

A really, really easy way to see if anything has changed or developed through an arc or plotline is to straightup just compare the 'beginning' to the 'end' in terms of the barebones situation. So;

Beginning: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream, his own abuser who has hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. He's terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

End: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream after being killed then revived by him, his own abuser whos hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. Hes terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

Okay. This is simplified obvious. But the point stands. ALTHOUGH the troupe of 'going back to the beginning' is common in the heroes journey its. It doesnt work here. Has tommy learned anything? Has he changed as a character? Is the severity of their situation any different? Have we, as the audience, learned anything new?

Im going to expand on that last point because i think it has the strongest potential argument. Technically for progression in literature and development of plot/characters, things can Change without them being Aware as characters. It can change just by the audience's perception changing or being challenge.

Slight example: i've been reading a webcomic called Your Throne. Its a fantasy/political drama about a noble lady who entered a competition with another noble lady to become the empress. The main lady lost despite her being a better fit, and the comic starts with the main lady trying to assassinate the empress. Its assumed and stated by the main lady that she 'ruined her life' and so thats all the readers know. However, later in the novel we see flashbacks to the competition itself and find that the two ladies were extremely close friends, neither wanting anything bad for the other, but it was the emperor himself who manipulated both of them for his own agenda. Those flashbacks gave us an entirely different idea of who the real antagonist is and completely changed the two main ladies' relationship. THAT is how the audience's understanding of the plot and novel can be used to change the entire story. We dont get such here though

Some things that were brought to light during tommy being dead/revived:

Dream is capable of reviving people infinitely

This was already implicated and assumed. The book dream has being a means of reviving people has been around Technically since schlatt's death. This just 'confirmed' what was known

Time works differently/feels longer in the afterlife

This doesnt really impact much beyond emotions and implications. If we had more insight into what the 'afterlife' is like beyond nothingness perhaps so. But really it just makes it so wilbur being dead for what feels like 9 years and tommy having been dead for 2 months appeal to emotions.

Wilbur is evil

This one fuckin sucks i cant lie HSKSHSISSGEGDV. Like i was gon go on bout it and i will but it jus sucks. We have nothing to go on besides tommy's word, no examlles of what Horrible things wilbur said could make tommy assume this, etcetc. Ill most likely make a seperate post on how this feels like we're just going to get 'wilbur is a horrible villain' type with him. But still. I feel wilbur Not Being Good isnt a new development.

Dream is going to revive wilbur

This doesnt feel new either, part because phil had wanted to revive wilbur before (ill get to that more later) and that tommy had kept dream alive/initially imprisoned him with the idea of him reviving wilbur.

Dream believes wilbur will break him out of prison

Okau this makes no sense to me actually. I cwnt understand How exactly wilbur would be able to do this? Or why dream believes he even Could? Mans been dead for like 9 years and all we Know of the afterlife is that its black... nothingness. How would 9 years of that make wilbur capable of busting the prison open?

So. Yeah. All in all this plotline hasnt done anything new, developed things, or altered people's perceptions. We just ended up back at square one. Back to tommy being traumatized, dream being 'evil' and horrible and doing villain monologues, and them being stuck together.

Other characters and plotlines

Im pretty damn sure tommy's revival fucked up a LOT of other characters' plotlines and potential development. Honestly i feel this has a lot to do with the writers not communicating with other ccs well enough. But Ill talk about specific characters from least to most fucked over in my opinion:

Sam

He's the best off. He hqd been there during tommy's death, had been close to tommy, had majorly blamed himself and his own mistakes for tommy's death. His grief and self hatred was actually really heartbreaking and well done. The attached character of Sam Nook being unaware of tommy's death and simply waiting for tommy to return was a really good parallel to sam's own grief and anger. like it really snapped sam the guy who cares for tommy and wants to do Right by him back together with him as the Warden of the prison. Mixed personal life with 'just business'.

I feel it wouldve been nice to have him like. Have more time to grieve properly and come to terms eith tommy's death and his own involvement/influence over the events. Him finding tommy alive again Could be a means of him like. Facing his own grief head on if done well.

Ranboo

Mostly in the context of him and sam's argument do i feel it got screwed over. The weight of them yelling at each other and trying to find who to blame and the implications that Maybe ranboo was the one who caused the security breach that closed down the prison on tommy just.... doesnt hit so hard anymore. Because how can there be blame and arguments and a 'who done it' mystery when tommy popped up all fine again?

Puffy

I dony know much of her involvement or how she found out tommy died (besides metagaming shhhhh) but i saw her monologuing of how they 'failed' tommy and like. Her whole 'he was so young we the Adults failed him' spiel is like........... inconsequential? Now??? Like no dont worry he died but hes alright now.

Philza

BET YOU DIDNY EXPECT TO SEE THIS FUCKER!!!!!! But actually though i want to talk bout how this ties into phil. A LOT. for Zalbr ❤. But also because i see ppl tying phil to tommy's death n like nah shutup u doin it wrong. Ill go off more in a Wilbur Post. But essentially: i dont like that dream is now going to revive wilbur. I feel they arent going to tie philza into this Despite phil having originally been trying to revive his son and studying on it and Attempting and Failing. But now suddenly dream can just. Say some magic words and Poof wilbur lives? So we're just going to Kill philza's revival attempts plotline and leave that hanging? This made his efforts seem pointless and Wack like oh why didnt you just Say The Magic Words phil????

Niki

I feel really bad for niki. She hasnt been able to do a lore stream during tommy's 'death' (she tweeted she wanted to but her computer wasnt working) and considering her entire character.... that shit is important. We seen it with Jack Manifold how tommy's death impacted Him considering he literally wanted tommy dead. And since niki is in a similar boat to jack of trying to kill tommy and it being her Only goal...... thats extremely important.

BUT. i feel there wasnt any communication. Did she or anyone even know tommy would be revived? Did no one consider they could At Least let her do a single stream on it? Like jack manifold????

We couldve gotten a Really good niki lore stream. I genuinely was so excited for it and i dont regularly watch her. But we seen it with jack manifold which is why i dont feel he got screwed because mans genuinely did So Good he could pop off with anything n i think it works in His favour. But now........ for niki. Canonically she never even knew tommy was Dead. So its like nothing even happened for her. Is she just supposed to continue on trying to kill tommy with no progression?

What i think would work

This is more me being like 'hey @ the dsmp writers let me in' type speculation sbosegussgs. But i was thinkin on a Really easy way to 'fix' this without rewriting lore and the streams.

Dream should kill tommy again now that he's been revived and Leave Him Dead.

More development for the characters who are affected by his death Especially niki. More time for grief and self reflection and development

A chance for the audience to figure out what the 'afterlife' really is.

Dream is supposed to be smart and a master manipulator or something right? Why doesnt he use being able to revive tommy as a bargaining chip with sam for his own freedom?

The audience would now Know dream's intentions with tommy better, that this death isnt 'final', but we could still see other characters' grief and reactions and coping without it feeling cheap. Ive seen some 'but people dont know tommy is alive so hes still dead in their mind' but that sucks imo.

We'd know more on dream's ability to revive people and that he can just Do It on a whim (which i think sucks but hey im trying) but no one else would know this canonically

Okay. Im done. If you read this. Thankyou. I love you. Hmu.

#mcyt #dream smp #dream smp critical #tommyinnit #dream #im puttin this in main tags took me too fuckin long to write for me Not to #death mention #ask to tag

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