#nor am i going to defend those choices to anyone as i have no reason to

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

"I didn’t say that the firm needs to look like Britain. I said the firm needs to look like the people, which also includes the 15 Commonwealth realms. The statistics look a little different when you incorporate the realms. Not a whole lot different, but different enough that it warrants some consideration. "

Different anon but I disagree.

1. Those realms chose the RF (and can still change their minds) knowing they were white so I don't understand the need to look like anyone.

2. I am a second generation immigrant. I grew up in a majorly white country with a white head of state and I don't understand this sudden need to have a HoS who looks like me. What I want is someone who understand me and acts on it and if you talk to many immigrants they can cite you many politicians from many backgrounds, not only those who looks like them, who did that.

3. Royalty is supposed to represent an ideal to atteign, in personality and lifestyle. Those things have no "race".

I don't know if I'm making myself clear but, I grew up knowing that racism was the ideology that there are other races than human race. And that those "races" could be ranked and are always inferior to "THE human race" (which in a racist mind means the white people). And I learned that fighting racism is realising that there is only one race: human race, whatever the form it has. I grew up thinking that anyone's skin color shouldn't be a prejudice and that only their personality matter. To give an example, what drew me to the RF all these years was the glamour, yes, but also the very public things they were living. Catherine's strength and resilience, her apparent silent determination are traits that my mother has and that I respect so much. Some of the things she is living today as well and I relate so much to her work with early childhood. William's speeches, his causes, his way to takle them, his strength. Same for the other working royals. (Ik it's mostly perceived, we don't know them) But they don't look like me.

I just don't understand why RFs in particular (because they are a white family and so can only add family members through marriage or adoption, which imo makes the discussion extremely toxic) should have this discussion on them. And I don't understand why it's a discussion on a broader space. The country where my parents were born is deeply, deeply corrupted. But we have politicians who look like us, we have a head of state who looks like us. I talked to many black american who thought Obama would change things but were left disappointed. But he looked like them.

I think we should wish for people who understand us (whatever the us is) or at least are willing to understand us because we are human and can be disappointed and not understood by people of all skin colors. I think that the obsession over "races" (from people who "defend" and people who attack) is why the racism keep going on.

So I don't think this angle of "race" discussion is helpful in any way. The proof I have is the Tuvalu controversy. Or the "optics" controversy. Omid and others like him use these pictures to stir the pot. They pretend to fight against racism but are racist in their very argumentation. Those people fought for independance and the right to make their own choices but because in Omid's and other's minds a white person is inherently superior, it is humiliating for the Tuvalu or Jamaican to be seen in those position with a white person but not with a non-white, and if we see white people being like this with royals, it's not important.

Fighting racism is admitting that the only reason the royals are "superior" is their position. Which mean that whoever chose to respect that postion in their prefered way shouldn't be called nor treated as a slave because of their skin color. And in the same way only their personality, their willingness to understand, should matter. Not their skin color.

Sorry for the long rant, I hope you'll understand my mumbles.

I'm really glad you shared this - your perspective is important.

You make a few really good points that I hadn't considered before, so I will be giving those some serious thought.

[brother-emperors]

....more caligula facts pls? 🥺

Hell yeah! he was related to Augustus and Mark Antony, and you can tell.

A lot of details surrounding Caligula's earlier years are somewhat obscured and it's hard to arrive at any kind of definitive conclusion regarding some of the details, but we can say with a lot of certainty that he hated being called Caligula

despite being Roman, Caligula himself was not brought up as a Roman, so to speak, and a lot of his behavior being at odds with Roman expectations makes more sense when you take into account the fact that he did not spend a lot of time in Rome, around Rome, or experiencing Rome the way his political peers would have growing up.

in addition to the above, he spent more time around Hellenistic cultures than he did around Roman ones (see: Germanicus' military career and interests in Greek literature, also Roman hostility towards Hellenistic influence on Roman culture), and even when he was being groomed as Tiberius' successor, Caligula was physically removed from Rome itself and brought to Capri for this.

A Number Of His Immediate Family Died Horribly And Under Extremely Harrowing Circumstances, and there’s a general consensus is that the reason Caligula wasn't Forcibly Removed From Life like his brothers is that he was too young to be a threat.

Tiberius, Robin Seager

the Drusus discussed here is Caligula's brother!

like! goddamn! and Caligula has to live on an island with the guy who made all this happen! Ancient sources say he learned deceit on Capri, but honestly what he probably learned was survival. Caligula didn't speak out in defense of his mother or his brother, and it's probably what kept him alive.

Generally, first half of his reign wasn't that bad, and it honestly could have gone a lot worse. Discussing the details of his reign with nuance (because I’m not interested in defending his actions uncritically lmao) would fill up a whole book, and people who are actually academics and historians have already done that better than I ever could

Interestingly, he rolled back some of the censorship on texts

Suetonius

That’s thee Cremutius ‘Surely I am not making speeches to incite the people to civil war, as though Brutus and Cassius were armed and on the fields at Philippi? Or is it not the case that they, despite being dead for seventy years, exercise through literature a hold over a part of our memory, in the same way that they are known to us through their statues, which not even the victor abolished? Future generations give everyone their due honor; nor will there be lacking, even if I am condemned, people who will remember Cassius, Brutus – and even myself." Then he walked out of the Senate and starved himself to death. The Senate decreed that the aediles should burn his books. But they survived, hidden and then republished. For this reason one is more inclined to laugh at the foolishness of those who imagine that today’s regime can extinguish the subsequent generation’s memory,’ Cordus!!

The incest allegations have been discoursed since forever, so I’ll skip it because that would have to be it’s own post, but what HASN’T been discoursed to death is whatever the hell was going on with Marcus Lepidus

Suetonius says they fucked, and goes on to mention a few other names: “He respected neither his own chastity nor that of anyone else. He is said to have had unnatural relations with Marcus Lepidus, the pantomimic actor Mnester, and certain hostages. Valerius Catullus, a young man of a consular family, publicly proclaimed that he had violated the emperor and worn himself out in commerce with him.”

and he made fashion Choices

and was a theater enthusiast, threw wicked* parties and spectacles, and generally didn’t give much of a fuck about other people’s opinions, much to the frustration of the Senate. as time went on, he’d become paranoid and start removing people close to him who could be a threat to power and life. which? fair enough, given the first twenty years of his life, but also: yikes, because there goes macro, and you can probably draw some kind of line between caligula’s deteriorating behavior to drusilla’s death and macro’s suicide happening within the same year.

(bonus round: caligula and the praetorian guard set up a recurring conspiracy theme that’ll haunt later emperors and their guards, but caligula did it first, baby!)

*wicked as in the classic Massachusetts modifier, but honestly however you want to interpret that is fine

Any text that doesn’t have a specific citation is from Dr Geoff W Adams’ The Roman Emperor Gaius ‘Caligula’ and his Hellenistic Aspirations!

#ta da! caligula fun facts! #for a guy who only lived to 28 he sure did a lot of things #hopefully these were fun or interesting! i am fully aware that things i think are extremely fascinating may be extremely dry for other peopl #so i tried to keep it focused on things that aren't like. his tax policies. #long post #ask tag #rec tag

[amisplaceddwelf]

Archetrope: Why a ronin

Source

I probably mentioned before that I like the concept of archetrophy because of its broadness. And then I go and pick a very historically grounded and culturally specific figure as an archetrope. Alright, let me explain.

When I was thinking of the role I felt most comfortable with, marginal figures always came to mind. Pirates, outlaws, wolfheads. I enjoy the periphery. There's a special kind of pleasure in being able to observe, learn and dissapear whenever I please.

If this is the case, why not say I'm simply a wanderer? I tried it for a while, but it felt incomplete. Wandering where? Why? Ronin, on the other hand, provide a very specific reason for their travels that really resonates with me. Thing is, I'm not naturally a rebel without a cause. In fact, it used to be the contrary. I played by the book. I was agreeable. Obedient. Loyal. There's nothing wrong with those traits of course, but in my case I happened to put them in the wrong place.

Eventually, realizing my devotion and love would never be reciprocated in that context was definitely traumatic. I had spent my whole life up until that point fighting for the wrong side, and now I had to choose. So did samurai, when they lost their lord or brought dishonor to themselves or their clan. The most reasonable choice for them was ritual suicide. A way of leaving with dignity. I was very young, enjoyed reading stories more than anything else, and thought taking my life should be the correct choice for me too.

Turned out I wasn't only young but also pretty ignorant, and I overestimated my capacities. I couldn't do it. I remembered that happened as well to some samurai, the cowards, the renegades, the worst of the worst. The ones that traded life for dignity. The ones that had to carry the shame of daring to breathe in a world where their lord no longer did, but also the ones that were gifted a second chance, the perfect blank page to decide from there on the trace of their own path.

Freedom. Something I hadn't truly ever desired before.

I gave it a try because I had nothing to lose, and the effect was intoxicating. Little did the social shunning that came matter, now that I had that delicious sensation on the tip of my tongue. I could decide how to speak. How to dress. How to think. It was too envigorating to let it go, so I didn't. I no longer had to. I could look into my old lord's eyes and tell them: if you don't want me, that's fine. But from now not you, nor anyone will hold the power to decide who I can be. I am my own ruler now.

Ronin are important to me because since I've learnt freedom is not only a delightful treat. It is a space I have to defend tooth and nail everyday. I don't forget where I came from, and sometimes I still recognize the old loyalty and sense of duty creep up on me. But now, I can choose who is worthy of them.

#a hybrid tag #archetrope #not gonna lie I'm nervous as hell to post this but I might as well do it some day

[hezigler]

Hey! 👋🏼

I’m from Cincy myself and currently still trapped in NKY, also from a public education background, and far-left in ideology, almost 30. I never had the opportunity before to go to college, and this area is ever-industrial, but I care for more things in the world such as yourself, so it seems. I have many passions and have never been able to settle on what I should pursue, if it might be the only thing I could. Could I trouble you for your advice on college recommendations or life in general?

I experienced most of my life in poverty and food & shelter insecurity, but am having a real chance for myself now, with my new family. We have talked at length about moving west into AZ where my partner came up, in a beautiful, arid climate, or at least to a blue state where our family can be safer. Eventually we’d like to live “tiny” and mobile, but are focused on getting a good place and best education for our teens. They’re each brilliant.

I greatly appreciate any advise, or even chatting about anything. I am not as educated, with only my high school diploma from a decade ago, but I can still try to make good company. If you’ve no advise for a stranger, nor wish to talk with one, I wish you safety and peace for you and yours and hope you make great memories this summer. 😌

Got a situation here with my wife with the grandkids so the eldest daughter can get out of town and I'm home alone with our two dogs and one we're fostering. So I just can't take the time and thought to truly answer you.

For now let me just say that we suffer most for the bad choices we make, and that we make bad choices because we assume that people, places, &/or things are true that aren't. For example: people on the 'net may assume I'm a boomer, well off economically and a liberal (because I'm well educated). I'm not any of those things.

What you see is what you get. Unfortunately most people see either what they want to see or have been deceived to see. The very best salesperson will size you up in a New York nanosecond and tell you what you want to hear. I was a failure as a salesperson in my youth because my parents gave all their children strong moral compasses.

Now these days add to that I'm too old to give a flying fornication what anyone outside my family and few surviving friends think. So I've no reason to do violence to the truth unless I'm acting to defend myself &/or others.

Be safe!

Later...

Peace and zai gesund!

P.S. Here's a recent selfie.

[jfbuckley]

The match I never watch…

…I never watch it, but I do publish blog posts about it.

The reason I never watch it is, for the time being, because it inevitably results in quite an embarrassing heavy defeat for us. It won’t last forever - “all empires fall”, as a famous Everton fan once said - but whilst it stands, this empire is one that I’d prefer not to watch. It just adds punishment that I’d prefer not to go through.

I don’t mind being beaten by anyone, just as long as the team shows effort and pride. Unfortunately in this fixture the team can show effort and pride, but still get battered 6-0. What I am trying to say in a roundabout way is that being beaten by city is very bad, but what makes it unbearable at the moment is the realisation that they are the best team in the world. It really does stick in the gullet.

Anyway, enough navel gazing. This match result signifies another sound, heavy beating. Many United fans on social media have declaimed it as another shocking performance and the manager should go. There is the odd voice here and there saying that they actually played tolerably well - except for the fact that they were crippled by injuries to key players AND they were playing the current best team in the world at their home ground. I didn’t watch it, I didn’t listen to radio commentary, nor even follow score flash updates in the second half, but I was very pleased to see that my football correspondent agrees with the “odd voice” sentiment described above. Yes, it is a shame that we didn’t play bold, expansive football - but if we did, we would have been beaten 10-0. I commend the manager for playing the way he did. At least we won the first half 1-0, and it was only when the legs (and minds) of second choice defenders started giving way that the best team in the world started to really assert their authority - and by all accounts the third goal seems a bit excessive.

Yes, at some point I WILL watch this match again. At the moment we are about three years behind city, at least two behind Liverpool nearly two behind arsenal. This has been allowed to happen because the Glazers have no idea how to run a football club and have trusted their accountant mates to throw a bit of money at it. However, things ARE changing for the better. I am very impressed with the things that Sir Jim Ratcliffe and Ineos are doing, but it is going to take at least three years before we can start to seriously compete with city on a level playing field. I am very confident that happy days will return, but in the meantime patience and understanding is needed.

The Match Report

hi - in the olden days when liverpool were the top dogs most teams approached the away game at anfield with a defensive mindset - optimistically they might have hoped for a draw but realistically a respectable 2- 0 defeat was often the best that could be hoped for - it was in this vein that united prepared for their visit to the current top dogs

city kicked off and immediately attacked - it was apparent that united were aiming to block off the de- bruyne/halland supply line- united were in a 4-4-2 formation and sat deep denying city space and hoping to nick a goal on the break

on 8 minutes onana collected a cross and whacked a long ball down the city left - fernandes gathered and looked for support - he laid it back for rashford who summoned his inner bobby charlton and his hot shot flew in off the underside of the bar

for the rest of the half the match followed a predictable pattern - city pushed and probed but couldn't find a way through - united had a couple of breaks that promised but didn't deliver another goal - then on 44 minutes rodri floated a ball over the united defence - foden headed back across the goalmouth for haaland to equalise from a yard out - there was a collective gasp of astonishment when it dawned on those watching that the ball had gone over the bar - if you wanted a clear illustration of ' it seemed easier to score' that was it

2nd half city resumed their probing - after 56 minutes foden cut in from the right and drove a left foot shot high into goal - the pressure had told and it seemed inevitable that city would go on to win - united were defending valiantly but were weakening both physically and mentally - united tried a couple of breaks but these petered out

it was time for substitutions but sadly for united the ongoing injury blight has pretty much left the cupboard bare - the doughty evans was replaced by kambwala and antony came on for rashford - on 80 minutes foden played a one two with alcarez and escaped casemiro - his left foot shot from the corner of the 6 yard box beat onana and city were ahead

amrabat and forson replaced mainoo and garnacho - united never looked like equalising and just before the end amrabat was given an awkward pass as united tried to build up from the back - the ball was played into haaland and yet another left foot shot ended up in united's net for a final score of 3 - 1

a disappointing result but i felt that they did ok considering their limitations - if united had played an open game the outcome would probably have been much worse - they held out well for 80 minutes but this game lasted 96 - the substitutions did not improve united but there was nobody else for ten hag to call on - none of this matters - city were always likely to win - a 3 - 1 loss away to the best in the world is respectable

sky are fond of trotting out a statistic of united being ahead at half time - in 143 games it was 120 wins 23 draws - sadly they didn't make it 144 - that's gross isn't it

bye

[asachuu]

(2/10)

Part 1: is there a “perfect” ship?

[List of all parts]

To truly get to the bottom of everything in a sufficient manner, I have to start from the absolute beginning, a bit further from highly specific pairings for the time being.

This is a question you might ask yourself upon simply thinking about this topic and subsequently the BSD fandom as a whole, though it is not limited to any particular piece of media at all. I will give you a short answer: no. In fact, most of the time, you could find criticisms in any ship if you tried, and many of those could be completely reasonable.

Now then, if that’s the case, why have I chosen to point Rimlaine out as a topic of discussion? The answer will be much, much longer than a single word, and you might be surprised to find out that my personal interests in the subject aren’t the only reason, although it goes without saying I certainly know a bit more in this area than other parts of BSD-related content.

For me, the distinction between something I would overlook and something I would rather speak out against is entirely dependent on two factors— the actions of any characters involved in a ship, both when they’re together and standalone, and their canonical interactions. There will almost never be a pairing free of anything we would deem at least slightly unhealthy or simply a bad sign, action or behavior if applied to the real world, especially in media such as Bungou Stray Dogs, the main focus of which is most certainly not on depicting a tale of some pure, untainted romance. However, even so, a vast majority of ships will not be directly labeled as “unhealthy”, no matter who you ask. Whilst I do not speak for everyone here, if someone were to have me explain my own reasoning behind it, it would be the aforementioned— the way the characters spend time with each other throughout the story and the actions they carry out. There is a vast difference between two or more people talking to each other in front of the reader’s eyes, knowing from their words and behaviors they do not mean genuine harm to the other(s) nor is some greater issue at play, and in Rimlaine’s particular case, two people who could only possibly reconcile on shaky terms after one of them had died. Even here, I should be using the word “reconcile” in heavy quotation marks, but I will elaborate on all this later on.

I will provide an example, which, albeit heavily outdated at the time of posting this, will still help me envision this better in one way or another. I’m sure anyone who has joined the BSD fandom has heard of Soukoku— a pairing between Dazai and Chuuya. I would say it’s the most popular ship of the fandom, hence why I’m choosing it in case less involved readers may be here, but I have seen it receive some criticisms over time too. Now, let’s take a look at those for a little while, shall we?

(Important note for the next part: I personally don’t ship SKK and am not trying to “defend” it because of my own personal enjoyment, nor do I believe it’s anyhow healthy myself. Due to this, the following section is NOT going to be taking anything beyond manga chapter 65 into consideration, as the claims originated many years before it, and I would have to make a separate essay if I were to truly shine the spotlight on today’s SKK from my point of view. The main reason I have chosen this very shaky example is listed above— its popularity making it easy to see even without much involvement, and there was a point in time during which it would have made for the best choice to mention, that to which I’m returning for a handful of paragraphs.)

One specific claim I have seen go around a long time ago, far before Stormbringer had even been announced, was that this particular ship isn’t healthy due to Dazai leaving/abandoning the Port Mafia, which could have potentially worsened Chuuya’s mental state after everything that has happened to him in the events of Fifteen (and subsequently the following novel as well, yet that one didn’t exist here), and additionally their current situation being nothing but constant “rudeness” to each other. If you’re someone who has heard me talk about the entire topic of fictional ships before, you may think this is pretty much the reason I claim Rimlaine to be unhealthy. To an extent, it is somewhat true, but once again— there is a vast difference, one that does not require me to go into details about both ships’ situations. Dazai and Chuuya, even back then, were seen to interact in canonical events again, long since that has happened. While I do have a lot of reservations towards them today, especially in light of more recent manga chapters/story developments, I’ve always had at least some of those, but they still had one thing Rimlaine did not— the actual ability to speak to each other in the story again. Seeing as this was circulating around far over three years ago, it was also at a time this was all we had, but back then, we saw that the pair was able to work with one another from the time they spent together without any heavy, deeper issues, and this canonical time between them showed us more than any speculation actually did.

Now, a sliver of my personal opinion is that I see nothing healthy between two characters who constantly go on about how much they hate each other regardless of how genuine it is and how many times they are shown to supposedly “care”, with the majority of their onscreen appearances together being argument after argument, no matter how humorous it may appear to a certain audience— however, I am only mentioning this on a side note as it’s not something that seems almost hidden in the public eye, it’s practically the very core of the SKK dynamic, and due to how extremely obvious it is, there would be no merit in me attempting to highlight those actions themselves. Even so, this brings me to another point, which I believe explains why I’m using a ship with interactions like that as an example of something that differs from Rimlaine, and why I cannot take as much issue with it despite my own thoughts on it.

This is an aspect related to not only these two ships, but also any other works of fiction, which I do feel is a little bit harder to explain in words and could cause quite a lot of disagreement as is, however it is something which goes without saying for the vast majority of people who engage in such content at the same time. This being what we view as “wrong”, and from that point, what I meant by “deeper issues” above.

For many people, perhaps even yourself, it’s not a dealbreaker to see violence in fiction, whether that be movies, books, shows, etc. Now, I am not qualified to claim this as anything beyond personal speculation, given I am in no way a psychology major or anything of the sort, but I do believe it’s because we already know it’s absolutely wrong from our entire lives, which is a lot more emphasized upon. None of us would ever condone the actions of these characters, but seeing as they’re not real and their worlds or lives usually operate under much different, often highly unrealistic circumstances, that fact simply goes without saying and we are still able to appreciate their individual selves— additionally, we will not be the ones to go and carry out the same things as them for a multitude of reasons, be it basic morality, lack of any realistic circumstance in which it would ever be justified or expected, and so on. If that sounds rather strange to you when I put it in such a way, ask yourself this: how many people have you seen enjoy a character such as Dazai or Chuuya, respectively? Now, with that amount in mind, how many of those people explicitly talk about not supporting their actions whatsoever each time they make a post about them? The amount is significantly smaller, right? It’s not because they don’t think those actions would be wrong in our world or they’re outright excusing them, it’s because it’s already established from the place of common sense, and due to the characters’ fictional nature, there are many other interesting things to focus on rather than their crimes and transgressions, which are also often a part, if not the full narrative of the given story, being fully guaranteed to be a feature of their lives from the start. This, however, gets far more complicated in other issues, which will be relevant down the line.

Just as with everything in the world, there are some instances which are deemed more “controversial”. As many will have vastly different opinions on where to draw the line, myself included, with this point being an extremely nuanced one that is simply impossible to properly condense, the following is my shortened perspective only.

Nevertheless, the term I used can apply to far more subtle things which many may not even notice the first time, but they mainly come in the form of content which perpetuates already prevalent harmful thoughts or behavior that is not deemed “straightforward” or “significant enough” by quite a large number of people. I’m positive many folks have seen such things centered around social issues online, for example, and I’m sure almost everyone has encountered it in some way, shape or form, be they aware of it or not. Even if my next words will sound quite far-fetched on paper, I assure you, it’s not something uncommon amongst fandoms of any kind— I assume you’ll certainly be more inclined to like a fictional character who has committed a lot of violence and criminal activity over a character who, let’s say, would be actively bigoted and/or predatory, with those just being two selected examples. I see this in many fandoms which feature both character types at once, and one always has a significantly larger fanbase than the other. Why is it so? Because, while the former lies within all the reasons stated above, the latter is something which, to many of us, seems entirely wrong for obvious reasons too, yet many people engage in and firmly believe they’re correct and in the right, even receiving support and zero consequences or proper attention far more often than the former— not to mention the large groups of victims with personal experience revolving around such behavior, of which many are taken far less seriously than ones of the former kind. If a perpetrator, or anyone else who might happen to be completely uninformed about whatever type of content is being showcased, is exposed to such things which aren’t painted in any explicitly negative light in the media itself, it may create or reinforce particular views in them, depending on what it is, and on the other side, if it’s the victims themselves or any other person who happens to understand the harm of such issues, many will most likely either not wish to be reminded of their experiences or simply like a character who is in any way linked to them, especially if there is no repercussion for them.

This point, however, doesn’t only revolve around issues of in/direct harm caused to people or various types of prejudice, as one may think. It also encompasses and shapes what others view as “normal” and “acceptable”, which extends to personal dynamics and relationships between people, too. This may look like a very obvious concept already, but for the sake of this essay, I will use another example to fully get this thought across. Let’s say you grew up surrounded by media concerning relationships in which one partner is constantly belittling the other. In every such instance, it is depicted as entirely normal and “the way things are”, not even people around you have much to say about it. You’ll very likely get used to it, begin thinking that’s the way it is for everybody, and if you do wish to pursue a relationship in the future, you might end up in a similar situation. Due to the influence all that media had on you with nobody to truly deny it or go against it, there is quite a high chance you’ll simply believe this is what everyone goes through and the way it’ll always be. You might not even begin to think that something may be wrong with it, even if it potentially makes you feel unhappy, unsafe and whatnot— after all, this is what has been presented to you so many times. If you do realize it, however, there is also a chance you’ll be an outlier amongst many people who will not treat your concerns with any amount of seriousness, having also been exposed to the same things and arriving at a much different conclusion, no matter if they’re personally satisfied with it or not. To some, this concept of influence seems apparent from the start, yet we cannot deny that there are many who would disagree entirely, precisely due to things like this.

On a side note, I must add that this does not mean one cannot create explicit content about unhealthy, violent or otherwise harmful, triggering and provocative matters, and if we are to look at another side of it, a lot of it can even bring awareness to these issues instead of promoting them or normalizing them. Most of it comes down to how it’s portrayed, if anything is said about it by the creators themselves and how they view their creations, but also the thoughts and takeaways of the viewers themselves— those will naturally never be a single monolith, yet if only a small minority come out of your work thinking the content was about anything I listed above, not acceptable, everyday things that one can easily overlook, perhaps this work should be assessed once more.

Anyhow, this brings me back to the “deeper issues” phrase I have used before. In the case of Soukoku, not only are they not meant to be portrayed as any kind of romantic relationship in canonical events at the time of me writing this, but their arguments and violence are both heavily out in the open for anyone to see and understand that this is not supposed to be a depiction of a healthy friendship/partnership at all, yet simultaneously leaning more into the fictional, chaotic and dramatized aspect of things that leads many to believe this is simply not how it should look in real life— but this is not real life, it’s fiction, and additionally, neither of the two characters seem affected by it on a level that would start raising many questions about whether it is acceptable to show support for, or what such a thing implies.

As for Rimlaine, however…that’s a much different story, one which requires its own set of details.

[Part 2]

#text post #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd fifteen #bsd storm bringer #bsd stormbringer #bsd arthur rimbaud #bsd paul verlaine #rimlaine #asachuu

[shadowfae]

Right so... #WolfGetsReal, huh?

I mean, none of this has really sat well to me. I'm not a therianthrope myself, but theriomythic arguably applies to me, and I am more animalistic than I let on. Species dysphoria is the one thing that affects me directly, and very little of it is social: without physical transition, which is scientifically impossible, there is no treatment nor cure for the symptoms I have.

I haven't watched Wolf (2021), owing largely to my general disinterest in movies. It's rare I do watch films, and I'm certainly not going to waste two hours of my time watching a movie I'm guaranteed not to like. Everything I've heard about it so far says that it sucks, it's a shitty B-list movie, and has pretty well no artistic value.

Alt+H decided to call a community initiative to drown the movie's tags talking about actual species dysphoria, owing to an interview with the director where she admitted she went out of her way not to do any research.

Now, I'm not defending the director here, because that's a stupid move in general. But I am gonna come outright and say that I don't think this community initiative is a good idea. Actually, let me make that slightly plainer: I think it's a stupid, ill-thought-out idea at best, and an actively dangerous one at worst.

This is a B-list movie, with zero famous actors, that very few people are going to watch. Of those few people, most if not all of them are going to either a) think it's a werewolf movie spliced with an ableist mental facility movie, or b) think it's a bad allegory for queer struggles.

Literally nobody but us is going to go "hm let's be ableist towards the delusional with ~species dysphoria~ :)" because we're not in the spotlight outside of when we're brought up linked to transphobia. We are very occasionally that weird guy in an internet story you heard about once, and that's only if you're on the internet a lot.

Now, I know where this idea came from: back earlier this year when Grimes put 'otherkin' in her twitter bio and changed her birthdate to that of a nuclear bomb, the otherkin community flooded the twitter tags with introductions and 101s and threads on how cool the community is. It worked quite well, I think, and it's clear this is more of that.

We were forced into the spotlight, so we forced the spotlight to be about us, and not the misinformation. Grimes has a depressingly large following, we didn't have a choice.

This... isn't that. The only reason anyone would watch this movie is if they're bored of Sundance films. Hells, it's even released right around two very anticipated Spiderman trailers. It's a movie destined to be overlooked, a box office flop, and forgotten.

So tell me: if we don't actually have a spotlight, why the hell are we making one? In the twitter tag of #WolfGetsReal, I've seen not one but two bestialist / animal abusers trying to overtake the narrative and link therianthropy to bestiality. Right now, the therianthrope community is having a nightmare time trying to kick them out.

You're telling me we should go viral with zero cohesiveness, focusing on therianthropy, and give them the chance to irreparably link therianthropy to bestiality? Because of a shitty B-list movie that otherwise would fade into obscurity?

No. No, this is a bad idea. If we want to go viral, this is a terrible way to do it. Don't get me wrong here, talking about species dysphoria and writing up posts and essays and 101s is great. But doing it specifically to go viral, when we have some major predators already frothing at the mouth to steal the mic for their malicious and substantially evil purposes?

It's ill-thought-out at best, and I cannot approve. There's literally no upside to this. The director wouldn't listen to us at best (if that were possible, it would have been done already), we do not have any power we can actually use, any spotlight we make right now on this issue will be immediately hijacked (and we have currently zero plan to mitigate that major issue), and making a spotlight of us being made fun of isn't something we can turn around.

There's no upside to doing this. If we want to talk about species dysphoria, let's focus on that, not bring emphasis to a movie that should fade forgotten into obscurity.

I know Alt+H also noted that between this and Wild Mountain Thyme, it seems the beginning of a trend. But WMT was taken almost universally by people who aren't us as a metaphor, and had a total of zero impact on the community. If we let this pass us by the same way, it will also have zero impact. And right now, I'll take no attention over almost-guaranteed-to-be-bad attention.

So that's my thoughts on that.

#luteia laments #otherkin #fictionkin #therian #therianthropy #on wolf (2021) #should mirror this to my website actually

[shiii-kei]

Don't you guys think that, internally for Kim Rok Soo, it took a bit of time to really get used to the clothes he wear all the time when he got transmigrated and became Cale Henituse???

Like from one point he was used to wearing black or clothes of dull colors in his whole entire life as KRS, because, that's how his life was and he was always been simple and more so in the conservative part when he acquired the Instant ability and had often, with no other choice, used it.

Hence the side effects and the painful reminder that can be seen on every part of his body and developing the emotion of disgust by his very own appearance for the very first time and has had resulted in him wearing clothes that fully cover his skin until just over below his head. And I hate to break it to everyone but PROBABLY by the time he even wanted to give a little effort on the clothes that he wears to day-to-day, monsters came and the pleasant thought was immediately and completely erased off his mind. Just full-on disregard of one’s wants and I know that if anyone were in his shoes, your OOTD would be the LEAST of your problems, but what I meant was a WHAT IF.

What if the horde of various grades of monsters had not swarmed and began presiding and creating global havoc and what if, none of it happened? Maybe KRS would’ve slowly started to learn how to actually pick his own self first before others. To be a little bit selfish with what he wants. 

But none of this happened, just what-ifs that once upon a time, KRS or Cale have thought once and only once in his life. And the reason he easily dismissed these thoughts is that his ever predicament of life had led him to meet the people he had personally and slowly but surely and appreciated and cherished and gave importance to, and those are the comrades he had joined hands and fought and protect and defend with during his time on Korea. He had met LSH and he met CJS and though he ought to not get close with the members of the team that LSH left him with and more, he appreciated their hard work and had vowed to protect and lead them to the best of his abilities as the Team Leader. And when he turned 36, after a rare lazy day of reading 5 volumes of TBoAH, he suddenly got transmigrated and finds himself inside the body of the County’s lout son and created an even bigger family than he ever had back as KRS. 

And as I finish this sudden essay of mine about Cale’s self-importance of himself because that’s literally the main point of what I have written----

That, yes, I think Cale silently and solemnly brood at the sudden change he is experiencing as Cale Henituse, yet what makes him go through his life with pure acceptance and determination is because, simply, Cale is kind and has full of experience, meaning he is also full, full of emotion that is only masked with indifference and the fact that he was completely deprived of knowing one’s self-preservation and true self-importance. 

I cry every time Cale doesn’t notice nor understand nor was he even aware of what his family truly feels for him. Their concern, their love, their EVERYTHING.

IT HAS ALREADY BEEN 3 YEARS OF THE CURRENT PERIOD OF THE NOVEL AND CALE IS UNFORTUNATELY STILL CLUELESS ABOUT IT AND I CRY----

Anyways, more love for Cale and I know that one day he will truly, TRULY, SINCERELY, GENUINELY, COMPLETELY, HERCULAEN, WHAT?? LOVE HIS SELF INSIDE AND OUT. Though he accepts what has happened in his past, the scars inside his heart still pain him and affect him internally and mentally without him even knowing. Some day, once he finally got his slacker life, I think he’ll get to that point of the day where he just goes----

“Ah, I am really loved.” and, “I am worth it.” and, “I am important.” and,

“I am enough.”

“I am enough... Who I truly am is enough.”

AND,

“I am happy.”

#cale henituse #tcf cale #trash of the count's family #choi han #choicale #lout of count’s family #tcf #lcf #raon miru #tcf manhwa #trash count

[bbygirldahyun]

with something like this, there never feels like a right time, and i don’t know if i’ll ever feel well and truly prepared to talk about these things, but i’ll give it a shot. here is my experience with reza and the entire situation.

i say none of this with malice, and i would hope nobody else does either. nobody but those who were directly involved can understand, talking about this is hard, but it’s weighing me down not to. so please, don’t send anyone hate or interact with her at all. i just want to express what happened and move on.

i became friends with reza awhile ago, probably over a year ago at least if my memory serves me correctly. unlike many others in this situation, we were very close. we spoke nearly everyday. we have spoken on the phone, she has met my girlfriend over the phone, we shared a lot of personal things. we even talked about meeting in person at one point. so trust me when i say, this has brought me an intense amount of sorrow, loss, and guilt.

i know people throw around words like gaslighting and manipulative a lot, but i truly mean it when i say she manipulated many of us. she made me feel absolutely insane sometimes, like i couldn’t trust my own memories, perspectives, and experiences. what i said i thought happened never mattered. experiences i had with someone were never considered unless they aligned with her predetermined narrative. she would convince me i said or did things i didn’t, or at least didnt remember saying. she told people i was angry at her about something when i had no recollection of it. i’m not an angry person, i couldn’t imagine being truly angry and harsh with her ever.

it seemed every few weeks or months, she picked a new person to dislike and she wanted everyone else to dislike them too. she used to tell me frequently how nobody ever believed her about anything, so at first when she would tell me about not liking someone for some reason i always tried to validate her and believe what she said. i wanted her to know i was a good friend, i wanted to be a good friend. but the more it went on, the more i started to question things. people i didn’t know very well i easily believed what she said, because i’m very trusting. i had no reason not to trust her, really. but then it became people who were my friends that were the targets of her distaste.

if i ever had a small problem with someone, she blew it way out of proportion. of course all friends have issues, everyone has issues. so i would confide in her when other people i was friends with had upset me somehow, and she always responded with incredibly petty insults about the person whether it be their writing, their art, or about them as a person. it was very odd. but i learned very quickly i couldn’t ever defend any of my other friends, because that angered her severely. she has talked poorly about just about every single person on this website in this community, including her own friends. i know sometimes you just need a place to vent, i understand that, i’ve done that myself. but she was often rude, petty, and insulting about these people. it wasn’t just venting, it was true distaste and malice.

if she wasn’t responding with petty insults, she would become very intense about the situation. she would almost always instruct me to not trust that person anymore, or to cut them off, or even sometimes go as far as to “handle” the situation herself. another writer mentioned in their post that they were kicked from a groupchat because of her, and i was in that groupchat, and she did it simply because a joke that was made had upset me slightly. she took things from 0 to 100 in seconds, before i could even protest. sometimes when she did things like that, i felt perhaps that’s what friends did? i didn’t have many friends growing up, so i guess i didn’t really know. but it often felt as if she treated me like someone who couldn’t fight my own battles when really, i’m just not a fighter by choice. i’d rather talk things out, especially with someone who was a friend of mine who i cherish deeply.

i confided in her that i was very trusting and thought everyone had good intentions due to being autistic and taking what people say at face value. i told her that’s how i ended up in my abusive relationship, because i was too trusting. she told me she hated that anyone had done that to me, and then went and did it herself. she took advantage of the fact i can’t tell easily when i’m being manipulated. she attempted to plant seeds of distrust within me towards every single other friend i had, even my girlfriend. i spoke to her once about an issue my girlfriend and i had had a long time ago, and she immediately said in essence she didn’t think my girlfriend was good for me. this was one issue within a nearly 5 year relationship. it felt insanely isolating, to be told at every turn that anyone in my life was bad for me, except for her.

it’s also worthy of pointing that all of these people who she would talk so poorly about to me and to just about anyone who would listen, she is more than willing to turn around and kiss their feet when she lost all her friends. duckie was a particular target of hers in terms of her attempts to get me to cut my friendship off with. some of the things she said to me, i don’t even want to repeat, though of course i have told duckie about it. she has said nasty things about her, about me, about our entire friendship. and yet, the second she didn’t have her friends on here anymore, she was tagging duckie in a praising post, surely in the hopes somebody might take her side i can only assume. that really boiled my blood — all of those nasty words, only to turn around and do that. and duckie isn’t even the only one, she’s just the one i’m closest to who reza did that with.

she has accused so many of us of being clout obsessed or chasing clout. i am no professional, nor can i make claims with 100% certainty, but i would go out on a limb and say i’m fairly positive those accusations are heavy projection. many of her accusations are, to be frank. she has always been seeking “clout”, attention really, ever since the beginning. she used to tell me her biggest dream was to end up on one of those writer reccomendation lists and so it doesn’t surprise me at all that her supposed final straw with lu was being excluded from one, even accidentally. but of course, she’s certainly accused all of us time and time again that we’re obsessed with clout, that we’re all only friends with each other for clout. and it’s sad to me, that that’s how she sees friendship, a means for exchange. but it’s clear that’s how she treats friendships.

she also accused someone of copying art. now whether they did or not, i have absolutely no clue. but when she showed me the supposedly copied art, i told her i wasn’t an artist and i’m also pretty face blind so i wasn’t sure if i was the best judge of whether it was copied or not. she got very angry at me for not believing her, and i tried to reassure her i trusted her perspectives i just couldn’t make the call myself. this became a repetitive situation between us — her making an accusation, me trying to dispute or to even just deflect and move on in conversation, and she’d get mad at me or just straight up stop replying. it was exhausting.

the rumors she has spread about me and others on here are horrible. some of the things she’s said about me have me absolutely floored. there’s things i’d love to address, but i don’t want to throw the person who told me what she said under the bus. but what i will say, is she basically acts as if i’m incompetent without her. i hate to throw around accusing words, but in retrospect many of the things she did and said to me and things she’s said and done since ending our friendship feel incredibly ableist and infantalizing.

now onto what really brought all of this to head. i’m sure all of you have seen the posts referring her calling a trans poc a nazi, but that’s not my story to tell really. my story is what happened after. she dmed me in the midst of that situation to complain to me about the person she accused of being a nazi, and i essentially told her not to bring me in the middle of it. at the time they were both my friends, and i thought she was acting incredibly out of pocket. of course, she grew upset, but insisted she wasn’t trying to bring me into it. i told her i didn’t think her accusation was fair, she told me that this person blocking her was “proof” that they were a nazi supporter, and i basically told her that was quite a leap. we didn’t talk for awhile after that, until she reached out again saying she didn’t want to lose me as a friend and this very long, nice message. i told her i valued her friendship a lot and as her friend, i felt it was my duty to tell her she fucked up and that she should apologized. she admitted to me she knew she was wrong. she admitted it. but she said something like it was too late to do anything about it. one of our last dm exchanges was her saying i was the one person she didn’t want to lose. then she blocked everyone.

so when she tells people i blocked her, or i ended the friendship, or whatever, that’s not true. i didn’t block her until she blocked me. i was never mean to her, not even at the very bitter end. if she thinks i was a bad friend, by all means she can think that, but i tried my best day in and day out to be a good friend. i wanted to make things work so badly, i truly loved reza as a best friend, we had so many good memories together. it broke my heart to watch her behave that way and go on to behave how she’s behaved since. i thought she was better than all of that.

she’s thrown out all sorts of wild accusations towards nearly everyone on here, including claiming we’re all lesbophobic for not supporting her gofundme. this is where her hypocrisy becomes evident. her close friend who has since deactivated had made a post basically claiming that posting “a few words” isnt activism right in the middle of when many of us on here were sharing donation links of black people in need in the aftermath of the chauvin verdict, which reza reblogged. both reza and her friend shared their own gofundmes mere days after that post. i thought that was absolutely despicable. not to mention the amount of times she’s accused lu of being transphobic and a bad ally, or reblogged posts of her cis friend claiming lu is a bad ally, which just isn’t true in the slightest. lu is an upstanding individual, and truly the pinnacle of allyship in my mind. she doesn’t just reblog a post to look good, she’s truly an amazing and supportive friend. couldn’t ask for better than that.

reza is hypocritical in so many other, smaller ways. she attacked someone for simply watching a critical review of attack on titan but continues to stan groups and people who have problematic or questionable pasts or elements to them. of course, media has problematic elements and we can engage with that critically, but the problem is she seems to think only she can do that and other people are free game to jump on and make wild accusations about. she claimed softblocking people was dumb, only to softblock me herself days later. the expectations she places on others she feels no obligation to uphold herself.

she has made attempts to entice new writers into this community by promoting them, praising their work, and claiming they can be the biggest writer etc all the while on her twitter tweeting things to the effect of all the writing on hc tumblr is boring now, or twice fic isn’t as good anymore, dreamcatcher fics are better etc etc. it’s disgusting. she brought innocent people fresh to the community into this nonsense and the second they didn’t validate her entire pov she deleted everything relating to them on her blog, all her promotions, and tweeted she’ll never help a new writer again. it was horrible to watch how many people became involved in this messy web and got hurt because of it.

i want to end all of this by apologizing from the bottom of my heart to anybody who i was swayed into a wrong opinion of by reza, to anyone who i spoke on without realizing i was being clouded by her manipulation, and to all of my friends who she spoke so poorly about. i did everything i thought i could to defend the people i cared about, but as many others can attest to she’s incredibly hard to argue against. it’s painful, and sometimes i hit a point of exhaustion. i am so sorry. i am truly, truly sorry to anyone who has been hurt by this situation, by reza or any of her friends or anybody. it was terrible being stuck in that cycle of awfulness, and i feel so much guilt thinking that i could’ve ever contributed to her poor actions and words about others. i trusted her with so many private things and i regret it more than anything.

that’s the hardest part of this, that i trusted her with so much. i trusted her with many things i would hardly share with anyone else. i told her embarrassing stories, shared much of my traumas to her, told her about my sister and my family and my girlfriend and all of these personal things. she told me so many things in return, but i know who i am. i know i would never share any of those things, none of the embarrassing stuff or the private stuff, nor would i laugh at it even to myself. but i know who she is, and that makes me feel like someone who i can’t trust holds so many things i shared in comfort, a comfort i no longer have. it’s difficult to grapple with.

and reza, if you’re reading this and i’m pretty positive you will be — i hope you find peace within yourself so you don’t have to treat people this way. perhaps i’m too optimistic, too kind and too trusting and too easily tricked, but i would rather be that than live the way you have, paranoid and bitter inside towards everyone. i hope you find a way beyond that, and i mean that genuinely.

#me

[kkysolo]

I realized the reason the cultist, and all the glory I’ve seen you receive regarding that series- rubs me the wrong way, is that: coming from someone who’s survived a cult, it just feels like it somehow glorifies cults. With that being said, some of what you wrote is accurate and I couldn’t even make it past half the second chapter because it’s just, is too much. I think it’s too often people consider cults ‘something of the past’ and don’t consider that there are still many forms of cults today in 2021. It’s a serious thing that leaves people traumatized and scarred. I understand it seems like an interesting or fun or similar topic when considering the first order, but it just rubs me the wrong way that so many people hype about it and love cult Kylo when in reality it’s a horrifying experience many people still go through today.

alright so here’s what i’m gonna do, i’m gonna put this under a read more because the rest of the world doesn’t need to see, nor hear about, my trauma’s unwillingly. 

but what really rubs me the wrong way, is you assuming it’s fine to come into someone’s ask box anonymously and make anyone feel like they have to defend their own trauma or experience to anyone on the internet. you don’t owe me an explanation of your trauma, and i am truly sorry for what you went through. but that does not make it okay for you to assume offhand that someone is writing something for “fun” and not for catharsis from their own traumas. 

cw’s for the following content: domestic abuse mention, entrapment mention, rape mention, the whole nine-yards. 

i am once again going to preface this by letting you know that i am sorry for what you went through. but i do not treat this as a ‘fun’ topic, nor do i treat it as something that doesn’t leave those who endure it as scarred. 

was i in a cult? no. i’ve said several times, though, in the chapter notes for the story, that this is based on my own experience of domestic abuse and severe entrapment. 

my experience is that of being forced to stay inside someone’s tiny apartment for nine months of my life, almost never seeing daylight, and spending most of that time locked in either the bathroom or the bedroom. tied to a radiator, sometimes the bed. i was manipulated and brainwashed into assuming my family and friends hated me, my social media was cut off, and i was isolated from the outside world. i was manipulated into thinking my only place in the world was there, to serve where i was, and nowhere else. and that if he was not there, my life had no purpose. i have navigated my experience with this domestic abuse situation through The Cultist - because it was my way of purging those memories that i find difficult to directly verbalise, in my own way.

the point of the story is not to glamourise the cult, it’s to highlight the issues caused by entrapment - issues i currently, still, face with PTSD - and abuse. TC kylo is not the abuser in this story, which, i can only assume, is why people enjoy him, because he is written as experiencing these symptoms, and these issues, but still is seen as worthy and loveable - something i have directly struggled with, and i channel through writing him. if he can be loved among his traumas, so can i. 

i wanted to write this in a way where i could refrain from making kylo ren the abuser, because i could never stand to see him in the light of my own. my own personal choice. the way it made sense in my mind to write it, was to have both rc and kylo entrapped, as there are parts of me and my experience in both of their characters. 

furthermore: one of my traumas that is often written about in this fandom is violent rape. but i do not go into the askbox’s of those who write it anonymously and assume they do not have their own trauma’s to navigate in their own ways. and even if they didn’t? it’s their content, they can write as they wish. 

i am sorry for what you went through. i dont wish entrapment or manipulation of any kind on anyone, much less that of a cult. but as i said, this is my catharsis journey. 

#i hate this fandom so much i regret ever joining every day of my life #i sincerely regret logging in today to do maintenance #cw: domestic abuse mention #cw: entrapment #cw: manipulation #cw: rape #cw: rape mention #Anonymous

[srivsblk]

strange theories to keep the boys away | george weasley;

summary: after you created a “strange theory” to find a date for the Yule Ball and have fun, George Weasley, your best friend Ron’s brother, is sure that he’s the right guy;

warnings: —;

—

“What are you doing?” asked Ron Weasley sitting right in front of me.

The library had never been this noisy. All the students arrived with the intention of studying for those few subjects in which the professors continued to give homework and inevitably ended up talking about the Yule Ball.

“What do you mean what am I doing?” I asked looking at him confused. “Studying.”

“Well, everyone is talking about the Yule Ball,” Ron shrugged while Harry sat next to him. “You probably already have a date.”

I sighed and placed the quill on the table, paying my attention to Ron. “Actually, no,” I said observing Ron's expression, which went from calm to shock. “Oh, don’t look at me like that!”

“You- You don’t have a date!” Ron exclaimed wide-eyed pointing at me. “How?”

“High expectations regarding boys, I guess,” I shrugged looking around the room. “I mean, it's not like nobody asked me.”

“Did you know it?” I heard Ron asking Harry in a whisper receiving a simple ‘no’ as an answer.

“Have you seen Hermione, by any chance?” I asked frowning and still looking around. “I thought she was with you two.”

Harry shrugged. “Actually, we thought she was with you.”

I nodded with my brows furrowed and realized that Hermione was probably somewhere around the castle talking about her beloved S.P.E.W. Although Hermione remained my best friend and the only one I could talk to about women's issues, lately I found myself spending more time with Harry and Ron. And when I needed Hermione, I went to the library hoping to find her and sometimes failing. For this reason, I had now spent so much time in the library and alone that I had finished my homework and devoted myself to taking notes on future topics.

“How much time did you spend in the library?” asked Ron observing the open page of the Potions book in front of me. “I'm pretty sure Snape hasn't explained those things yet!”

“Well, long enough to be able to say I’m ahead of the schedule.”

“Ahead?” Ron said shocked. “Blimey, Y/N, either Hermione has infected you or you are terribly bored!”

“Thanks, Ron, coming from you it's a real compliment!” I said sarcastically. “And how's the date you don't have because you're too chicken to ask someone to come to the Yule Ball with you?”

Ron, visibly offended in his pride, was about to argue but was suddenly cut off.

“Yes, Ron! How's your date?”

Turning slightly I noticed that Fred and George Weasley were behind me and had probably overheard the last part of the conversation. Being one of Ron's best friends and having spent a lot of time at his home, seeing Fred and George was nothing new. In fact, in the last year I was sometimes surprised not to see them more often, but Ron kept repeating that they had become suspicious since we arrived at Hogwarts. As Fred sat on my left and George on my right, Ron rolled his eyes and sighed.

“I thought you two were busy.” Ron muttered looking between the twins.

“Exactly,” Fred said smirking. “We were.”

“But a little break doesn't kill anyone,” continued George who was mirroring his brother’s expression. Meanwhile, Harry had a smirk on his face and was exchanging amused glances with me.

“Oh, me and my date are perfectly fine,” Ron said with a forced smile, “but let’s talk about Y/N who still doesn't have a date!”

I looked at him tilting my head confused. “I think you didn't listen to me, Ronald,” I sighed. “It was a choice!”

“I can’t believe you,” Ron said shaking his head. “Nobody goes alone to the Yule Ball by choice!”

“What do you mean?” asked Fred curious.

I sighed and turned to Fred explaining myself. “Someone has already asked me to go to the Yule Ball with them and I refused saying I already had a date.” I calmly said before glancing at Ron who was shaking his head. “However, it's a good choice I've made this past week and I have no second thoughts.”

“I still don't understand it!” groaned Ron frustrated. “From what other guys say you are one of the prettiest girls at Hogwarts and even Malfoy would not care about your house and social status to go to the Yule Ball with you. You're wasting your luck, Y/N!”

“What is your choice based on?” asked Harry over Ron’s muttered words.

I looked at him and noticed that he was genuinely curious and so I started telling him what I kept telling myself every day. “The guys who asked me to go to the Yule Ball with them were from Durmstrang. I have nothing against them but... I mean, I didn't know them enough! You know how sad it is to go to the Yule Ball with one of them and spend a boring evening or discover that maybe they are like Karkaroff! I have decided that I will go with a person with whom I know I can have a pleasant evening. Besides, I'm not afraid to go alone.”

I caught my breath after my words and took the time to observe the reactions of the other boys. Harry struggled to understand my reasoning, but Ron had given up as soon as he heard the news and was waiting with his arms folded for a reaction as exaggerated as his. Fred, however, looked at me confused and George, who had listened carefully to my words, was thinking hard about something.

After twenty seconds of pure silence, Ron decided to interrupt the confusion. “Blimey, Y/N, there is no need to make up strange theories to keep the boys away.”

Ron's words sparked a deep rage that caused my body temperature to rise dramatically. My cheeks were probably tinged red with anger because I noticed Harry looking at me worriedly as if I was going to explode. Ron, however, did not notice the effect of his words. He had behaved like this with Harry before the first task, with Hermione more than once and now with me too. I had enough. With all the anger still inside, I got up from my chair causing a noise that attracted the attention of some people in the room and quickly collected my books. I took the bag and looking at Ron with narrowed eyes and pursed lips, I left. At that moment even Hagrid could have mistaken me for an angry dragon. Keep the boys away. How dare he? He knew me well and I would have accepted such words coming from Pansy Parkinson or Draco Malfoy, but not from Ronald Weasley. Was he jealous? Well, it wasn't my fault that he hadn't found the courage to ask Hermione to be his date! Yet it was not a plausible enough excuse to blame me for not accepting two proposals!

“Y/N!” I heard a voice calling me, which made me turn around and stop.

George Weasley had probably run from the library to follow me and was slightly out of breath. His hair slightly longer than last year was disheveled due to running. His bag was about to fall off his shoulder and there was a slight flush on his cheeks. After waiting for him to say something, I looked at him confused.

“What is it, George?” I asked in a kinder tone, regretting the brusque behavior of before. “Listen, if it’s about Ron-”

“Ron?” he asked frowning. “No, nothing about Ron, love! I just had to ask you something.”

I shrugged. “Go on, then.”

He looked around and was struggling to find the right words, but nonetheless he took a deep breath and became serious. “You and I. The Yule Ball. Together.”

George tried not to show his insecurity and was waiting for an answer from me, but he probably noticed my confusion because soon after he started to move his mouth looking for the right words, perhaps afraid of having said something wrong.

“Are you asking me to be your date, George?” I asked slowly understanding.

“Only if you want to!” he said hopeful adjusting the bag on his shoulder. “And don't think it's pity or something. I want to take you to the Yule Ball.”

I watched George closely and noticed small details that I had always overlooked in recent years. George had become a handsome boy and his fame as a prankster had made him known throughout the school. But I only knew him as Ron's brother who had always been nice to me, even defending me from some bad Slytherin pranks. “Yes,” I said satisfied of my choice. “I'll go to the Yule Ball with you!”

The expression on George's face went from nervous to relieved and enthusiastic in less than a second. He kissed me on the cheek and ran away screaming through the halls as if he had won an important Quidditch match. The place where George left the kiss on my cheek was warm and when I touched it I suddenly smiled. Then I turned and continued walking - this time more slowly and cheerfully - towards the common room.

What happened in the following days was a succession of events and voices that created a sort of pause between the moment when George had asked me to go to the Yule Ball and the evening that everyone was waiting for.

Although Hermione was shocked when I told her that same evening that I had accepted George's proposal, she told me that she should actually have foreseen it. However, she told me that I hadn't chosen badly since at least with George I was sure I could have fun. As for her date, Hermione had finally told me that she had agreed to go with Victor Krum and that he wasn't as bad as everyone thought. George, on the other hand, kept an impassive attitude when he met me with Harry and Ron. He had only told Fred and Lee Jordan that I was his date, as only Ginny and Hermione had heard from me. Harry and Ron had not suspected anything, although they had known that I had finally found a date. Apparently, neither Ron nor I wanted to resume that discussion because he was merely commenting on the Yule Ball matters with Harry. Just a few days before the event, I discovered that my two best friends were planning to bring the Patil twins to the Yule Ball. I thought it was a choice to save themselves from the inevitable loneliness, but I never told them. Hermione still didn't talk about her date in front of Ron and she preferred to avoid any conversation about the Ball.

“Who is he?” asked Ron two days before the Yule Ball while playing chess with Harry.

I sighed closing the book I was reading and looked at him. “No need to keep asking, Ron! You'll see him in two days.”

However, even though I kept refusing, Ron was so curious about my date's name that he repeated the names of all male Hogwarts students from our year and up. Still, it was interesting how he skipped his twin brothers, probably sure that neither George nor Fred saw me as a real girl.

On Christmas day, just after waking up and opening the presents, Hermione and I met Harry and Ron and went to breakfast together. Although the general excitement for the Yule Ball, we decided to spend the morning in the Gryffindor tower, where everyone enjoyed their presents, then returned to the Great Hall for a magnificent lunch. The afternoon passed quickly between walks on the grounds of Hogwarts and snow fights. Hermione and I watched Harry and the other Weasleys having snow fights, while Hermione occasionally sneaked a glance at the smiles George and I exchanged. Around five, Hermione checked the time and took my arm as she rose from the ground. Apparently it was already late and we had to get ready for the evening.

“What, you need three hours?” said Ron, looking at Hermione incredulously, and being hit by George with a snowball. “Who’re you two going with?” he yelled after me and Hermione, but she just waved while I smiled at George and shook my head. Then we disappeared up the stone steps into the castle.

It had taken three hours to prepare both me and Hermione. She had been having some problems with her bushy hair as I kept pacing the room, trying not to panic. Hermione, as soon as she noticed my nervousness, tried to calm me down ("Oh, George is a great guy, Y/N! You'll definitely have fun.") and she helped me put on my dress. Looking in the mirror I had never felt this way. Suddenly, Christmas at Hogwarts took on another meaning. I looked at Hermione smiling and we finally headed for the Great Hall.

Arriving at the Great Hall Hermione left me with a hug and walked over to Krum. I peered around looking for George or at least Harry and Ron so as not to feel completely alone. Finally, after a few moments, I found George talking animatedly with Fred, who had a splendid Angelina beside him. As I walked towards them, Angelina said something to George making him turn in my direction and he finally noticed me. My smile widened further and I saw it was the same for George. He walked away from Fred and Angelina and arrived in front of me.

“You’re-” George couldn’t find the words while looking at me. “Merlin, Y/N, you’re wonderful!”

“You're not bad too, George!” I smiled taking his arm. “I've spent the last three hours preparing myself and I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous.”

“Well, no need to be nervous, love,” said George smirking. “It will be an unforgettable evening, trust me!”

“Oh, I trust you,” I said looking around. “Why are they all looking in our direction?”

George shrugged smirking. “Actually, they’re looking at me. They always do like this when they see me, don't worry!”

I laughed and held his arm tighter. “For a moment I had forgotten that you are the funny one.”

“Never forget that, love,” said George closer to my ear as we entered the Great Hall.

I noticed that Harry was nervous next to one of the Patil twins and Hermione was talking to Krum smiling. Many people needed more than a glance to recognize Hermione Granger, but I smiled at her as she did the same when she noticed me not far from her.

The first part of the evening passed quickly between laughter and an exquisite dinner. Fred kept throwing jokes at Angelina who pretended to be angry for a while and then laughed with the others. George and I had relaxed so much that being this close after a while felt more natural. He kept one arm on my chair and I squeezed his hand when he complimented me. When dinner was over and the Champions started dancing with their dates, George kept holding my hand before smiling at me and taking me to the dance floor. We may not have been the best dancers, but dancing with George just made me happy. After more dances together, George and I walked off the dance floor laughing and, noticing Harry and Ron near a table, we walked over to them.

“Why aren’t you two dancing?” I asked frowning and still holding George’s hand.

“We’re bored.” Ron muttered looking between me and George and trying to change the topic. “So you two-”

“What?” I asked curious.

“Nothing,” shrugged Ron sighing. “I didn't know you had a crush on George. That’s all.”

“I-” I tried to find the right words but felt my cheeks flush. “What are you talking about?”

“And you, George,” Ron said narrowing his eyes at George. “I didn't know you were interested in my best friend! Because that's what Y/N is, a sort of sister.”

As my cheeks became more and more red, I felt George boil in anger beside me at Ron's tone. “Well, Ron, maybe she is your sister, but not mine.”

“Whatever,” mumbled Ron sulky. “However, you remain two traitors. You haven't even told me anything about it.”

Harry stood next to Ron watching the scene. He was too smart to criticize us and agree with Ron, but he was too afraid of losing his best friend again to go against him. So I realized that Ron's only intention was to ruin the evening for all his best friends just because he didn't get what he wanted so much.

“You know, I had enough, Ron,” I said firmly looking at him. “Just because you can't have the best night of your life because of your bad mood doesn't mean you have to ruin my night too! For once I'm having fun and you ruin everything. I can’t accept it, I'm sorry.”

I walked away from my two friends and George with my heart pounding with anger. I didn't want to ruin anyone's evening, so my goal was to go outside and get some air and then find George and continue the wonderful evening. I noticed that the air outside was too cold for how I was dressed, so I sat on a sheltered bench observing the people around me. I recognized a fifth year girl walking with a boy from Durmstrang, and a seventh year couple sitting on a bench not far from me.

“Excuse me, is this seat occupied?” asked someone and turning around I found George smirking. As soon as I shook my head, George sat down beside me.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled feeling guilty. “I had a wonderful evening with you and I feel I ruined it by talking to Ron.”

George slightly smiled and took my hand in his. “If anything you made this evening better by silencing Ron in less than two minutes!”

I laughed and looked at him. “Still, I’m sorry.”

“Well, no,” said George frowning. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”

“For what?”

“You deserve someone like Diggory or Krum, and instead you end up with George Weasley, the prankster,” George shrugged looking down.

“I like George Weasley,” I smiled holding his hand. “I don't think I would have had more fun with Diggory or Krum tonight. Or any other night.”

George looked at me smirking. “So did you have fun?”

I laughed nodding. The couple of seventh year students looked at us for a second before turning around. “I had a wonderful evening and you, George,” I pointed a finger towards him. “you were wonderful.”

George stared at me without saying anything for a few seconds. He had a satisfied smile on his face and his eyes were moving from my eyes to my lips. Suddenly he brought his face close to mine and kissed me. It was a small kiss and it didn't last long. But it had stayed on my lips like a tattoo on someone's skin. A golden but small tattoo. I noticed that George's cheeks had turned red to his ears covered in long hair and he seemed eager to have a reaction from me. But all I did was get closer and kiss him more deeply than before. It didn't matter if it was cold and winter or if anyone could see George and Y/N kissing in the courtyard. It was something I wanted to do instinctively when I never did anything instinctively. After years of rational choices, kissing George Weasley was instinctive.

“Do you want to go back to the Great Hall?” George asked after the kiss. “Let's dance a little more and then I'll take you back to the common room.”

I nodded standing up still holding his hand. “What a night,” I said smiling and shaking my head.

“And you haven't seen anything yet, love,” said George walking and hugging me. “George Weasley can do better! Ask me for the moon and I'll bring you the entire galaxy. We still have time, after all!”

And that was true. We still had time. We were young and free and at the start of something which we would later call love. But in that moment it was still too soon. Two young students not knowing what is that feeling when you hang from the lips of the person you like and wait for their proposal or opinion, when you think that no sad moment can ever get over this happy moment. Because that person is your happy moment. And George Weasley became all of my moments.

#Harry Potter imagines #Harry Potter #george weasley imagine #george weasley imagines #george weasley #fred weasley #fred weasley imagines #george weasley headcanon #george weasley one shot #Hogwarts #hermione granger #Ron Weasley #ginny Weasley #yule ball #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley x reader #george weasley fanfic #fred and george weasley #cedric diggory #goblet of fire #Harry Potter and the goblet of fire #golden trio #marauders #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley fanfiction #srivsblk #george weasley yule ball #weasley twins #weasley family

[thebadboyfanclub]

You Little Sneaky Fox (Cedric x Reader)

This has been in my brain and I had to write it in order to stop, also my best friend @little-diable​ is a co star in this(surprise bithc).Enjoy our new add on the list, Cedric Diggory

Another year, another stash of newbies running around the castle. (Y/n) was walking to class alongside with her friend Chiara when she started to hear the whispers

“Of course they are slytherins”

You smirked at the young girls comment. She had to admit her and her friends walk was very noticeable and kind of demanded attention, their heads held high, usually an eyebrow raised, good posture and their shoes making a click clack sound against the well polished floor.

“you think anyone will join us this year?”

“Of course, thing is if they will be able to keep up”

She answered.(Y/n) never cared about the little kidos but it was funny to see them struggling and desperately trying to blend in by being rude and snobby, of course slytherin had a cunning reputation but there is a difference between confident and cocky, especially when you are a little kid.

Soon enough they were outside their class, as they opened the doors everyone was already at their seats and professor Snape stared right at them. Snape had a weird bond with (y/n), he knew she was powerful and she put in the work, a clear over achiever but she could be extremely stubborn,cold and sometimes even arrogant, her snarky comments were an annoyance.

“You are late”

“We like to make an entrance”

“Besides it’s only 3 minutes”

Chiara jumped in to defend her friend. They started to walk again at their assigned seats -they weren’t really assigned, they just always sat there- 

“3 minutes are important young lady. 10 points from slytherin”

“Oh what a shame, how will we ever get them back?”

(Y/n) whispered just loud enough for Snape to hear and for some of the students to laugh. Snape decided to ignore her and continue with his lecture.

As they sat down (y/n) saw a note waiting for her, her name written in beautiful calligraphy. Of course no one had dared to touch it nor question who was leaving notes for the lady who was pretty well known for getting caught giving sweet love kisses in the after hours.

“Well well well,at least he is always on time”

Chiara knew about him. At first she was shocked her friend would not only consider but being genuinely interested in a hufflepuff. As much (y/n) hated to admit it, she was slowly catching feelings for Cedric, he was sweet, gentle, but also passionate. She hid her smile as she carefully opened the note

“12 am, at our spot?”

She bit her lip and looked at her friend. Chiara winked at her before giggling in a dirty manner, she was happy for her, she hadn’t seen her friend get sweaty palms and ask what she should wear in... ever really.

But her craving for him was a slow burning fire that was know getting taller. She wanted him for herself, just the little whispers of other girls saying how cute he is when he was walking down the halls were enough for her to think a hundred different ways to behead them and him. So she came up with a plan, to see if she was the only one feeling this way.

Cedric stared at her from the other side of the room. He had to admit that he felt his heart skip a beat when he saw her giggling after reading his note, he didn’t even understand how a slytherin girl could be so addicting, he was so intimidated yet drawn to her, they were a few times during their “dates” that she showed him her gentle side, nuzzling in his neck for a few seconds, a sweet gentle kiss before she runs from him, her fingers running through his hair in a soft manner.

 He wanted to ask her out officially, stand next to her proudly for the world to see, however he was scared of her reaction, what if she laughed at him? taunt him and reject him? he would be heart broken.

As their class came to an end and they had time to go out in the garden and relax, Cedric was playing around with his mates and (y/n) was waiting for her chance to start her plan.

“Want to see a cool show?”

“What has your evil mind come up with?”

“Stick around and you will find out”

She shot back in a low tone as she walked towards the guys and chose to go for the ultimate threat, good ol’ malfoy. She had heard from a few “sources” that malfoy had a little crush on her, he was also a slytherin and Cedric did not like him. He was fourteen which means (y/n) would never do anything, but a little chat was enough to see what she was working with

“Morning Malfoy”

Draco turned to look at her, he was in shock but he tried to hide it not wanting to mess with his reputation. He smiled at her and run a hand through his hair in order to calm himself down’

“Morning (y/n)”

“I just wanted to come here and say that if you need any help with the spells don’t hesitate to ask me or Chiara, we’ll be happy to help you”

“T-Thanks”

Even this part was amusing to her, seeing the arrogant, rude and full of himself little malfoy stutter when he talks to a girl, just this thing was a personal win for her, making boys stutter and lose their cool around her was her drug of choice. She took one step closer towards him and shyly licked her upper lip

“Oh don’t mention it, you are one of us right?”

Before he could respond (y/n) turned her back to him and walked to her friend. With the corner of her eye she saw her real target, Cedric. He had stopped playing and was looking in her direction, over the time they had spend together she had learned how he expresses his feelings and she could clearly understand by the way he looked at her, his lips slightly parted and how he nodded his head that he was livid.

Chiara was giggling, admiring her friends plan that had clearly walked, she always loved to see (y/n) play around with guys brains-if they had any- it was truly a sight to see.

“You little rascal, he is fuming”

“Unfortunately you won’t be there for the finale tonight”

-

As the hours passed and (y/n) carefully slipped through the halls and the teachers guarding the castle to go and see her plan had brought her. As she approached him she could see his tense back, he was whispering to himself, his hands curling into fists and then released.

(y/n) hugged him from the back and got on her tip toes to give him a kiss. If that little incident had not happened he would have been the happiest man in the world right now.

“Hello darling”

“Since when are you so interested in Malfoy?”

Well, there goes his plan of casually slipping it in the conversation. He couldn’t hold his feelings any longer, he was hurt, almost betrayed, was she really interested in other guys? no, she couldn’t, he wouldn’t be able to handle it.

“What are you talking about?”

“(y/n) this is really not the time to play the aloof card, you never talk to him”

“How do you know who i do and don’t talk to Cedric?”

She was pushing it, she knew she was playing with fire and it  was extremely dangerous, but where’s the fun in being careful right? 

“So you are just suddenly a good Samaritan and decided to help Draco with his homework?”

“I didn’t know you were able to hear from that far, that’s an actual skill”

“Stop it!”

He didn’t yell at her, he would never -he was secretly too scared- he just raised his voice enough to show he was being serious. (y/n) looked around to make sure no one was around, she didn’t want another “scandal” on her back, she turned back to him and smirked at the flustered Cedric

“Are you jealous?”

“Yes, yes I am”

“Why? Last time I checked I am not your girlfriend”

“Like you would say yes if I asked you, I’m not stupid (y/n)”

She laughed. There it was, finally he said what she was dreaming of hearing, those sweet little words of victory,her plan worked perfectly and she got a relationship out of it, just like she had planned.

“Are you laughing at me”

“Yes I am, but not for the reason you are thinking of”

He was just looking at her, utterly confused with the way she was behaving. (y/n) tried to contain herself and got closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and looking straight in those beautiful eyes.

“Did you really think I would go for a boy that’s younger than me? I just wanted you to admit your feelings for me”

He felt his whole body relax, his heartbeat going back to normal. Now it was his turn to wrap his arms around her waist and spin her around, (y/n) giggled and gave him a kiss on his soft warm lips.

“You little sneaky fox”

“I didn’t get into slytherin by accident love”

#harry potter #cedric diggory #cedric diggory scenarios #cedric diggory imagine #cedric diggory one shot #cedric diggory headcanon #cedric diggory x you #cedric diggory x oc #cedric diggory x reader #cedric imagine #cedric scenarios #cedric oneshot #cedric headcanon #cedric x you #cedric x reader #cedric x oc #harry potter scenarios #harrry potter imagine #hogwarts scenarios #hogwarts imagine #hogwarts headcanon #hogwarts x you #hogwarts x reader #hogwarts x oc #hogwarts #diggory #robert pattinson

[astriefer]

Please have this messy, badly written scenario as a humble gift to you, because I wanted to do something since I reached 200 followers!

Bits of Truth

They stood in front of the Carstairs' townhouse in Cornwall Gardens. Christopher seemed mildly confused about what they were doing there as if he had not been paying attention. James shared one last glance with Thomas before he knocked on the door.

A few bits of silence flew by, in which they had held their breaths. Then footsteps tapped on the floor, and the door cracked open.

A wave of relief passed through James that not Sona nor Risa or any other maid came to open the door. Then he thought what a peculiar thought it was for him to be relieved by. Alastair looked at them, frozen in place, blinking a few times as if he didn't believe they were truly there. He rejoined his composure hastily. He didn't let them in - he stood in the front door and his eyes searched theirs for an explanation. It was like a weird staring contest. Eventually, Alastair spoke first. "Cordelia is not here. You know it fairly well."

He moved to close the door. "We haven't come for Cordelia," he said quickly, which received another incredulous glance from Alastair. "Well, we have. But not because we thought she'd show up here. We came to talk to you."

Alastair narrowed his eyes, expressionless, and considered James. Then he glanced at Christopher and Thomas, noting their desperate eyes. "About my sister?"

"We won't take long," promised James, despite he wasn't sure it's true. Alastair studied him, and James felt himself going rigid. He leveled Alastair with his indecipherable gaze.

Then Alastair had stepped back from the door and ushered them in. "My mother is in her bedroom, resting, and Risa went shopping for supper. So, you have to be quiet. Make it quick.'

~~~~

Alastair took their coats and tilted his head towered the parlor. A kettle whiselted in the kitchen. As he gestured them inside he turned the other way. A fire burned in the chimney, and a book rested peacefully on the armchair. When James examined closer he discovered it was written in Persian. Thomas mumbled something about Persian poetry.

Alastair came inside with a tray and James thought he was, for a change, being hospitable, but he ignored them and disappeared up the stairs. When he got back, empty-handed, James assumed the tea was for his mother. Alastair placed the book on the table as he sat down in front of them. Thomas and Christopher set on a love sofa and James set stoned on another armchair. He didn't waste time being the kind host, James presumed. "What it is about my sister?"

The golden-eyed boy decided the best tactic was started from what he knew. That wasn't much, but it was the most important thing, and he was certain about it, at the very least. "I love your sister."

Alastair raised his eyebrows, amused. "Yes, that's something that tends to happen between married couples, I've been told."

James shook his head. "This marriage, of Cordelia and I," just saying her name on his lips made a treacherous skip of his heartbeat, full of hurt and love. "It was a sham marriage."

Alastair pools of dark marble were fixed on James when he explained, rather awkwardly, the events that led to their marriage. And then events that led to Cordelia leaving the country. He prospected Alastair would be outraged, throw spears at them, maybe even recite some very angry poetry phrases in Persian. Instead, Alastair was very still for very long. When he did speak, the words weren't the James expected them to be. "I knew the marriage wasn't out of love," Alastair said calmly. "But I didn't expect you to tell all that rubbish."

James blinked. "It's the truth."

"Oh, I know," Alastair returned with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I doubt you would come up with such a ludicrous idea on your own, even if just to spite me. and I also know Cordelia wouldn't have slept with you unwedded, no matter how much she loved you."

All the thieves caught their breath when Alastair leaned forward, his month curving in an odd angle. "I also know being married to you was a wish she never thought would come true, and that you cared for her. You claimed her as yours and you defended her. It was good for Cordelia, and so I said nothing."

James snorted, although he hadn't found the conversation funny. Not the least. "I thought I loved Grace at that time. I felt bad when the thought of living with Cordelia was more appealing than I expected." The thought of Grace made his features harden. "And because of Grace, for years I've been blind. Manipulated. I lost my wife and Parabatai. She played with me like a doll; messed with my feelings, messed with my life. This is unforgivable."

He did not notice Christopher who tensed up and fixed his spectacles on his nose. "She did some bad things," he said, surprising them all. "But I don't think she's evil."

James furrowed his brow. "She's like a siren: beautiful and compelling, but going after her will only end in you being drowned."

"I see," Alastair said, turning back to James. "But why? Why did she do it?"

"Does it matter?" James asked. "She hurt so many people. She doesn't even deserve to apologize. It won't matter anyhow - the damage is done. After all she has done...sorry will never be enough. Nothing will."

"It matters," Alastair said. "Because you don't know her side of the tale. You don't know what she thinks. What she feels. You don't know if she had to do what she did."

He was tempted to say Grace has no feelings at all. "I believe I'm allowed to be angry."

"I do agree that what she had done to you is far above a jest or a play with hearts," there was a strange flame burning in the deep ponds of Alastair's dark eyes. "And you have no obligation to forgive her. But why not hear what she has to say? You are the one with the power. You know the truth. She can not affect you any longer."

James shook his head. "You don't know Grace," he said coldly, gravely. "She will try to use me. She will try and make me do as she wishes. I will not be a pawn in her game again. She controlled my life long enough."

Alastair glanced away, pondering over something. Thomas turned his head nervously between James and Alastair. For the first time since the beginning of their conversation, Thomas inquired, "Why do you insist James will hear her out?"

"You have no idea of her motives," Alastair retorted. "What she's done - she must know it's wrong. And she will have to live with this knowledge for the rest of her days. You are allowed to be angry, James, and rightfully so. But don't let it blind you. That you have been kept from certain kinds of evil doesn't mean everyone else had. You have no clue what led her to those decisions." Alastair looked distanced. James managed to guess he's not been talking only about Grace. "You should talk to her. You may not forgive her, but you deserve to understand, to know why to hear the plain truth. And you should let her mourn what she could have had and lost."

James wasn't sure he fully comprehended. "I wouldn't have loved her. Even without the bracelet issue - my heart belongs to Cordelia."

"What do you mean?" Christopher asked. "That not everyone had been kept from evil."

Alastair shrugged. "I met Tatiana Blackthorn only once. She's a madwoman. She doesn't seem like the kind of caring, kind mother to pet her daughter's shoulder. Besides, Grace seemed to be controlled by Tatiana, rather than working alone or alongside her."

"She took the love of my life away from me," James growled. "Nothing can atone for that."

"The love of your life is my sister," he reminded James. "I can hardly find the idea of her being heartbroken a good thing. And the one who caused this pain is not much liked, as well. But you shouldn't think that just because you would've done it otherwise, it was an option for her. You can't know what are the options in front of people. You can't know how they feel unless you talk to them. So talk to Grace, James. Then seek out my sister. If you love her like you claim you do, will you give up on her so easily?"

"No," James stood up, "I will not."

Alastair nodded. "why did you come and tell me about your little schemes? Why now?"

Now, after so much time of lying, why tell the truth? Why not keep it in its cage of delicately made lies?

James cut his gaze to the book on the table. Thomas answered instead in a quiet voice. "She is your sister. You must have been worried about her. We wanted to tell you because - because you deserve to know the truth and understand why things happened the way they did."

What Thomas did not say was what none of them wanted to admit. Cordelia ran away to Paris with Matthew. Even if she'll be back in only two weeks - they all were worried sick. James couldn't blame her, he was awful and blind. All of this was a mess. If she needed time to calm down in Paris, he couldn't deny it of her, even if he had a say in this choice.

Alastair studied Thomas, and James felt the half-Persian hadn't quite believed them. It was true - they needed his help in the future. But it was a start. "Anything else? A ghost friend? Another evil aunt?"

"No," Christopher affirmed.

"Good," Alastair said. James might have imagined it but he thought he saw Alastair sneak a glance at Thomas before standing up. "Now get out of my house. Risa will be here any minute."

~~~~

I- how?? Thank you so much, everyone!! 🙈 Thank you, you can't understand how much it means to me. 🥺

This is mind-blowing. Truly. For whatever reason you follow me, know that I love you <3

Tagging some of my mutuals, you are all wonderful and make my time here so much better (not all of them because my brain is all wonky, but I mean all of you): @kit-12 @littlx-songbxrd @pink-party-dino @shadowhuntertrash @gummybears-4u @itsdaughterofthemoon @mcrrythievcs @fictionally-fantastic @reyna-herondale I'll tag more but I don't want to bother anyone so... thank you!! I don't know what people find in my blog, but I am grateful, and I appreciate all of you endlessly.

#alastair carstairs #the last hours #tlh #chain of gold #tsc #chain of iron #the shadowhunter chronicles #thomas lightwood #chog #cordelia carstairs #james herondale #christopher lighwood #the merry thieves #merry theives #post coi #choi spoilers #coi spoilers #chain of iron spoilers #grace blackthorn #tlh fanfic #the last hours tlh #200 celebration #my writing #my fics #fanfiction #writing #mine #my posts #my fanfic #styx's fanfics

[the-healing-mindset]

Don’t Dim Your Light

I grew up in a small town. Small towns are often portrayed as warm and loving places where everyone gets along and life is simple. That’s not always the case though. The small town where I grew up is a bit different. The basis of this all is toxicity that breeds narcissism. 

From a very young age, I always felt out of place in this area. As I have grown older and completed university, I have been able to figure out some of the reasons why I have felt this way for so long. I suppose a journey of healing through spiritual practices does that. When I was younger, none of it made sense. I often felt as if I had to do something special or extraordinary to be accepted by even just my family. Something that I have written before is that I was often told that I “couldn’t be like other kids.” As I wrote in that post, those very words set off a lifelong feeling of not being able to get close to anyone. 

Of course, this led to much pain while trying to find peer groups to fit in with at school or during other activities in my youth. As a result, I spent many of my younger years gradually withdrawing and becoming emotionally numb regarding connections. None of it mattered to me. Or at least, that’s what I told myself. Deep down, I did crave connection and such, but I always pushed people away, leaving what little social skills I had to degrade, further upsetting me each time it managed to cross my mind. 

Very simple words spoken so long ago have caused me so much internal anguish over where I should allow myself to exist. As I wrote in the previous post, I was only told that so that I would stop acting like the child that I was at the time. I realize that my family didn’t want me acting like other children so that I would be easier to control. A bit of manipulation for short term gains on their part, but a lifetime of detriment on mine. 

As years have passed, I realize that I have to dim my light each time I find myself interacting with people in my area, family included. Within me, I feel that I know how/who I want to be and the groups I want to interact with when I have the chance, but I never get to express any of that because I am continuously bringing myself down to a level that I keep trying to move away from. Small towns can be toxic as they can be a place where people often settle for what exists and don’t strive for anything more. 

For those of us to choose the path of growth and development, staying in the town or local area where you grew up is NOT beneficial nor is it healthy. Inevitably along this path, you will reach milestones where you are ready to approach life differently. You will be ready to go after better things for yourself. Whether that be better treatment, better surroundings, better health, etc. More often than not, those who have known you for a long time will not support this. They will invent each and every way possible to bring you down.

In my case - as I handled challenges during my time in university, many of which have helped me grow and develop - some of my family members stood by the sidelines telling me that I should not have been scheduling meetings with my advisors to gather insights on how to best finish my degree and that I should not have been making efforts to stand up for myself when there was unfairness in my training program. (I attend a pretty messed up school. Story for another time.) Of course, I was visibly stressed as I was explaining these things to them, a natural response if you’re paying out thousands of dollars per week and don’t know if you will be able to complete what you are working on with no other sources of funding available. 

As frustrating as it has been, I have learned that I have the right to deny any and all conversation where I feel as if I will constantly have to defend my choices and my way of life. This is a little difficult as the people where I come from have a very subtle way of scapegoating and gaslighting one into talking about things only to turn around and begin attacking whatever it is a person has said, and the person themselves for even making the choices they have made. In the end, they know it all and will always need the last word. 

So often, these conversations involve the attacker saying things like “Who do you think you are?” and “What do you think you’re going to achieve through those choices?” in an attempt to degrade the person’s confidence and keep them in place. Any attempt by the person who has grown to defend themselves and to explain their position will be labeled as “disrespectful” and further attacks will be levied upon the individual, progressing to things unrelated to the original subject matter at hand. Expanding on the paragraph just above, a difficult part of the growth process is realizing that you don’t have to engage in conversation with those people at all. Leave it at hello and only respond with short phrases that allow no room for expansion. It doesn’t matter how they are related to you. It doesn’t matter how good things may have been in the past. If they are trying to discourage you from growing, they cannot remain in your life in the same capacity. Plain and simple. 

Don’t dim your light for anyone. You know your why. 

#healing #growth #recovery #encouraging words #personal #personal story #mine #note to self #self-reflection #self-worth #self-development #self-improvement #life #light #school #small town life #narcissism #narcissistic #toxicity

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: you are a mermaid and you save a handsome man from drowning but little do you know it’s not his first rodeo when dealing with mermaids. seonghwa, a former prince, is currently hongjoong’s first mate and boyfriend. hongjoong is the captain, the pirate king of the most savage crew across the seas. and you want nothing to do with them. not because they’re pirates, but because they’re humans…

ship: mermaid!reader x prince/pirate!seonghwa x pirate!hongjoong

genre: little mermaid!au, pirate!au, angst, fantasy, romance, fluff

word count: 3.1k

chapter one ☠️ chapter two ☠️ chapter three ☠️ chapter four ☠️ chapter five ☠️chapter six ☠️ chapter seven ☠️ chapter eight ☠️ chapter nine ☠️ chapter eleven ☠️ chapter twelve ☠️ chapter thirteen ☠️ spotify playlist

During the past couple of days spent inside the comfortable pool Hongjoong had built with the help of his crewmates, you felt closer to Seonghwa than ever. He opened up more and shared things about his past you hadn't known before. He told you about his first meeting with Hongjoong and about his life as a prince. 

But the one part you couldn't stop thinking about was how Seonghwa asked a kind wizard (unlike the sea witch who had turned your poor cousin into sea foam) living in a lighthouse to transform his face into something different. So that he wouldn't be recognized by his parents who had ordered Ariel killed. You couldn't stop thinking about...if someone like that really existed, would he help you? But hope was a dangerous thing and you couldn't bring yourself to ask Seonghwa directly. You wanted to be certain your request would come true and only then, could you tell him. What good would it do to give him false hope? So, you decided to approach Wooyoung and San. Maybe they'd heard about this good-hearted wizard. Maybe they would be able to help you find him.

"Woo! San!" you whispered loud enough for only the two of them to hear you without waking Soojin from her afternoon nap.

"Are you sure you want to talk to us?" Wooyoung looked utterly confused.

"I called you by your names, didn't I?" you pointed out.

"Last time I checked, we're neither Seonghwa nor Hongjoong," San joked.

"Right! And you've been spending all your time with these two," Wooyoung observed.

"Aren't we friends?" you pouted.

"Sure, what's up?" San relented.

"Great, I need your help. And I also need your discretion. Can I count on you?"

"Oh, you've picked the wrong person," San chuckled. "Woo's the biggest gossip across all the seas."

"Hey!" Wooyoung groaned indignantly. "Don't listen to my boyfriend. You can trust us, Y/N."

"I'm starting to have second thoughts..." you admitted. "But I don't have another choice."

"How flattering," San mumbled sarcastically.

"I didn't mean it like that!" you defended yourself. "Okay, so, the thing is I want to find this wizard who lives in a lighthouse. But I can't get out of the pool and back into the sea on my own, so here we are."

"Hm, I've heard of him," Wooyoung replied. "But I don't get why not ask Seonghwa or Hongjoong to help you into the sea."

"I mentioned discretion, didn't I? The reason I need to find the wizard is of a very delicate manner so I can't let them know just yet."

"Don't tell me you want to give up being a mermaid!" San exclaimed.

"Shh! Not exactly. But I've been wondering if there is a way to...sometimes have legs, sometimes a tail. I know it sounds impossible, but I can't know for sure until I've talked to the wizard in the lighthouse. I've heard he's really good at transformations. I believe it's worth the try."

"Okay, we'll help you," Wooyoung promised. "But only if you let us come with you. Facing wizards on your own does not sound safe."

"Even if they have a reputation of being nice?" you reasoned.

"Wooyoung is right. Wizards are unpredictable, so we'll have to escort you," San insisted.

"Wouldn't Seonghwa and Hongjoong get suspicious if we're all missing at once?" you worried.

"Not if we return by morning. If things don't go according to plan, we can just tell them you wanted to go for a swim in the sea and we took the boat to go fishing or something," Wooyoung suggested cleverly.

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea," you nodded. "Let's go rightaway so that we can be back by sunrise!"

"Not so fast, sweeties," you suddenly heard Soojin's voice. You had no idea she was awake.

"Soojin!" you exclaimed in surprise. "How much of it did you hear?"

"Enough to know you'll have to take me with you. Unless you want me to tell Seonghwa where you're going."

"Are you blackmailing me?" you croaked in disbelief. "My own sister!"

"Call it what you want. I want to come with."

"To stop us or..."

"No, silly!" Soojin laughed. "If there is a way to keep my tail and have legs occasionally, I want to have that, too."

"Oh. Alright, then, shall we get going?"

"I don't see why not," San replied.

After he and Wooyoung helped you and Soojin out of the pool and back into the sea, the two pirates lowered the boat and the four of you embarked on a journey to find the mysterious good-hearted wizard living in a lighthouse. By the time you discovered the lighthouse, it was already night. You and your sister had been swimming for hours, while San and Wooyoung had been rowing the boat. You wondered if it was all a myth or if there was a grain of truth to the whole story. You would determine what it was soon enough. Approaching the lighthouse at a safe distance, you looked at your friends and sister, unsure what your next move should be.

"What do I say?"

"I don't know, Y/N, it was your idea in the first place," Wooyoung pointed out, completely unhelpful.

You rolled your eyes and decided to improvize. You'd gotten this far already, you wouldn't back out now.

"Oh, great wizard of the lighthouse, we have come to seek your assistance!" you exclaimed, a bit too melodramatically. But oh well, it was too late to change your words.

No response came. You sighed, not daring to hope for any.

"Well, we tried," you shrugged and no sooner had you done that than the door to the lighthouse opened.

Out of it, a very tall figure appeared. It was too dark to discern his features properly, but you could tell that he had quite the strong presence. However, you weren't scared of him. Rather, you felt curious to hear what he would say.

"You must new around here," he observed. "Those who've met me know there is no need for such theatrics."

"I'm sorry," you mumbled. "Wasn't sure how to address you."

"Yunho will be fine," the wizard introduced himself. "And you are?"

"Y/N and this is my sister Soojin."

"And we're Wooyoung and San," your friends added.

"What brings two mermaids and two pirates in front of my home?" Yunho asked.

"How did he know we are pirates?" San whispered in disbelief.

"He's a wizard, remember?" Wooyoung responded in a hushed tone.

Yunho chuckled, utterly amused by your and San’s clueless nature.

"Um, I was wondering if there is a way to...have legs at times but not lose my tail permanently," you admitted.

"Same here," Soojin murmured nervously.

"It won't be easy but it's not impossible," Yunho nodded thoughtfully.

"What will it cost?" you inquired. If it meant losing your voice or life like it had happened to your cousin, it wouldn't be worth it.

"What do you mean?" the wizard tilted his head in confusion.

"I mean, what do I have to give up?"

"Give up?" Yunho mimicked your voice. "You don't have to give up anything. Did you think I would take away something from you like that greedy sea witch?"

"Honestly? I wasn't even sure you're real," you confessed.

"Well, here I am," Yunho laughed.

"Is there seriously no catch?" Soojin was stunned.

"Why would you help complete strangers and get nothing in return?" you wanted to know.

"Why not?" Yunho reasoned. "And it's not nothing. If I ever need the help of a mermaid or a pirate, I'll know who to contact."

"I suppose that's sensible. But still, I'm amazed such a selfless person even exists."

"Not a person," Yunho reminded you. "But I appreciate the sentiment, nonetheless. As for the transformation spell, the only solution I can think of is to bind your human nature to the sun and your fish nature to the moon. In other words, you would have legs during the day and a tail during the night."

"Sounds pretty good to me," you cried out excitedly.

"I also think it's suitable," Soojin said.

Yunho sighed, as if disappointed by how quickly you'd agreed to it.

"Are you sure you want me to do this? Once the binding spell is complete, it will be irreversible. It is absolutely mandatory that you two are in the water whenever the sun sets and the moon lights up the night sky."

"Relax, we've survived quite some time in a fishnet without water. I'm sure we can handle anything."

"You don't understand," Yunho explained. "You would no longer be mermaids in the broad sense of the word. Such a binding spell may have unexpected side affects. During the day while the sun is out you would behave more like humans. During the night and especially during a full moon...you could be more like sirens."

"Are you saying there's a chance we could hurt the people we love?" you asked, worried that this whole thing sounded too good to be true.

"Anything is possible. Which is why you must be absolutely certain this is what you want."

You and Soojin exchanged a meaningful glance. You already knew you were on the exact same page.

"Even if it is dangerous, our decision remains the same. We will do our best not to hurt anyone and we'll warn those close to us of the possible side effects."

"I don't know you well enough, but something is telling me to trust you," Yunho admitted reluctantly.

"I could say the same thing about you," you teased. "Oh, great wizard Yunho of the lighthouse."

The tall man simply chuckled.

"Are you ready?"

"Are you?"

☠️☠️☠️

Seonghwa's POV

I woke up to Hongjoong's arms around me. Despite the foolish deal he'd made with some demon, I could understand the logic behind his decision. I probably would do the same thing if it meant saving one of our crewmates. They were all like family to me and I would rather die than let anything bad happen to them. So I was glad that Hongjoong was still here. And determined to make sure he stayed exactly where he was. I didn't care what it would take. I would face the demon myself or come up with a plan. I had finally gained so much. Hongjoong and Y/N - my two loves - were finally getting along. I would be a fool to lose it. I gave Joong a quick kiss and gently removed myself from his arms. I smiled at his sleeping figure and started dressing up for the day. The first destination I wanted to visit was Y/N and Soojin's pool. I hoped they slept comfortably and was looking forward to talking to them.

The minute I walked out onto the deck, I realized something was wrong. The pool was empty. And the whole ship was uncharacteristically quiet. I told myself not to panic but that didn't help much so I hurried towards Yeosang's room, hoping he knew what the hell was going on. I disturbed his sleep in vain, for he seemed just as clueless as I was in connection to Y/N and Soojin's current location. Which was extremely troubling, to say the least. After that, we entered Wooyoung and San's room, hoping they would have an answer. Imagine my distress when I couldn't find them either.

"Should we wake Hongjoong up?" Yeosang suggested.

"We don't seem to have a choice. Two missing mermaids and two missing pirates is quite the disaster."

"I just hope they're alive," Yeosang sighed.

"They have to be."

Once we informed Hongjoong of our disturbing discovery, we were disappointed, but not surprised to find out he also had no clue of these four's whereabouts. We were getting a little desperate, so we went to Mingi, our prisoner, to see if he'd heard anything. Being locked away had made him surprisingly cooperative and pliant so he simply replied that he wished he could help, but had unfortunately, no knowledge on the issue. Him being so nice to us was a little suspicious but we still left him some food and water. We were pirates, but not monsters, after all.

As soon as we returned to the deck again, the three of us saw that the sun had already risen. And in the middle of the sea, a small boat was advancing towards the ship. Inside, there were four figures. It was too far to tell their faces apart but something inside me ignited a flame of recognition. It was them.

"We were so worried that the four of you had disappeared without a trace," I scolded them as soon as the boat was in earshot.

"Aren't you going to congratulate me on my fresh set of legs?" Y/N exclaimed.

"Please, don't tell me what you had to give up," I sighed.

"Absolutely nothing. You'll have to thank your wizard friend for that."

"You met Yunho? Why didn't you just ask me to take you to him?"

"She wanted to surprise you, dumbass," Wooyoung interfered.

"Say another word, Woo, and I'll beat your ass!" I vowed angrily.

"Relax, honey," Hongjoong put his hand on top of mine. "The most important thing is that our friends are safe."

"You're beautiful, Soojin! With or without a tail" in the meantime, Yeosang was gushing at his girlfriend.

"So are you, Sangie! With or without a hand!"

"Ah, young love," San lamented wistfully, abandoned the boat and started climbing on the ship's ladder. "Remember when we were like that, Woo?"

"What are you talking about? We're still like that," Wooyoung pointed out, following him right behind.

"He's right," Hongjoong chuckled. "You guys are so in love it's gross."

"And if it isn't the pot calling the kettle black," San murmured.

"I will kill you both for sneaking out without telling us! We thought you got kidnapped or something!" I insisted, pointing a finger at Wooyoung and San who had just boarded the ship, while Hongjoong and Yeosang were trying their best to hold me back.

"Hey, this was Y/N's idea! Why are you attacking us for simply escorting her and Soojin?" Wooyoung complained.

"Because Hwa is a perfectly refined gentleman. He wouldn't harm a lady," Hongjoong defended me.

"Oh, so I'm a lady now?" Y/N giggled. She had just successfully made use of her legs to get on the ship. And as angry as I was, I couldn't resist the temptation and embraced her tightly.

"You're lucky you're so cute," I whispered.

"I'm sorry for worrying you, Hwa," she mumbled into my chest. "Don't get mad at Woo and San, they just did what I asked them to."

"Next time you need anything, just turn to me, okay?" I begged her. "No more surprises."

"I'll have that in mind. Speaking of, I have to tell you something."

"Shall I ask the guys to leave or...?"

"No, it's fine. Wooyoung and San already know, but I think it's sensible to tell all of you."

"Sure, what is it?"

☠️☠️☠️

Hongjoong's POV

When Y/N and Soojin were finished telling their story of their encounter with the wizard of the lighthouse, silence reigned over the deck. While I was happy that they had achieved their wish to have legs during the day and tails during the night, I wasn't very fond of the implications of such a decision. Yunho had warned them of possible side effects and they had decided to go for it anyway. Naturally, I wasn't scared for myself. I'd had my fair share of adventures and facing actual sirens was one of them. And on top of that, I had sold my soul to a demon. So, it couldn't get any worse for me, could it? But I was a bit worried of what these side effects could mean for Seonghwa and Yeosang, in particular. Wooyoung and San were perfectly immune to feminine charms. But Hwa and Sangie’s affections for the mermaids were so strong I feared they wouldn't be cautious enough around them, especially during a full moon. A siren's nature was too captivating and dangerous to control. I had grown used to Y/N and Soojin's presence, but as mermaids. I couldn't picture how they would behave as sirens. As long as I was around, I was confident I could protect my crewmates. But one day the demon would come to collect...And my friends would be on their own. I wouldn't be able to do anything to save them. And that terrified the hell out of me.

"I know what you're thinking," Y/N was the first to interrupt the silence. "But I swear, Soojin and I will learn how to control our siren nature. And if you don't trust us enough to let us remain in the pool at night or during a full moon, we will return to the sea and come back to the ship with the sunrise."

"I'm with her on that one," Soojin added. "We'll do anything to make sure you feel safe around us. The last thing we would want is for you to feel threatened."

"I trust you both," Seonghwa replied in a most serious tone. "But can he say the same?"

Without even looking up, I knew he was referring to me. It was clear that Wooyoung and San didn't worry much about these potential side effects. Yeosang hadn't spoken his mind yet, but I was fairly certain he shared Seonghwa's opinion on the matter. Which left me, of course. I had to weigh in my next words very carefully. I didn't want to put my crewmates' lives in danger. But I also didn't want to lose the fragile friendship I had somehow formed with the mermaids despite all my shortcomings. And last but certainly not least, I didn't want to do something that would mess up things between me and Seonghwa.

"Honestly? I don't even trust myself," I admitted darkly. "But we're all on the same team now. You're welcome to stay for as long as you wish. We'll deal with whatever comes our way together."

Way to go, Hongjoong. That's one hell of a speech that would undoubtedly end up in a disaster. But what was I supposed to say? It would be too cruel to kick them out considering the possible reasoning behind their decision.

To my surprise, Y/N ran towards me in gratitude, landing on my lap and attacking my neck with kisses.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! We won't let you down," she promised.

"You gotta stop doing things like that unexpectedly," I joked, even though a small (okay, that was a lie, maybe it wasn't that small) part of me wanted her to do the exact opposite.

"You kinda like it, though," Y/N observed. And damn it, she wasn't wrong.

To be continued…

#ateez #yunho #seonghwa #hongjoong #seongjoong #seonghwa x reader #hongjoong x reader #ateez angst #ateez fluff #pirate au #mermaid au #writing

[charming-2d-boys]

Hi, there! I hope you're doing well, staying safe and taking care of yourself ówò💜 I really enjoy your works and was hoping if you could possibly make a part two to that Hisoka x reader fic where reader hid their relationship from her parents? Maybe awkward family dinner with Hisoka if you're up for it?

Hi! I hope you're doing the same, anon! 🤗

Oho, that dinner’s gonna be a disaster and I don’t know who I should feel more sorry for 😂

But I got so invested in this and it got long, but it’s late and I wanna hug someone now 😣

Thank you for requesting and I hope you'll like this! 😄

Here is part one for a bit of context.

-----

   It had been quite a few months since that scene at your parents’ house when you pretty much told everyone present that you and Hisoka were together and still going strong after two years.

   That night, when you arrived at home, Hisoka’s hands pretty much glued themselves to your body and didn’t let go, not even after you were both spent from one the most passionate nights ever. The way you defended your relationship with him in front of so many definitely contributed to this and you were honestly too happy with how cuddly and affectionate he was because of it to say anything else.

   You didn’t think your parents would want anything to do with you after that moment and would most probably disown you and act as if you were never even born - yes, they could be that extreme.

   So you were more than shocked when you received a text message - a text message, not a call, ‘cause that’s how petty they could be - asking if you and your boyfriend would like to come to dinner so they could get to know him better. You were instantly suspicious, of course. Who wouldn’t be? Months of absolutely nothing from them and suddenly they want to get to know Hisoka?

   You called Hisoka and only received a loud hmm before you stepped into the kitchen, where he was cooking dinner that night. You told him nothing, only shoved the phone in his face so he could read the text, making him stop cutting the vegetables in front of him. After his eyes quickly skimmed over the letters, he turned back towards the task at hand, leaving you in complete silence.

   “What do you think? Should we go? I don’t know what they’re planning and I-”

   “It’s up to you, lovely~ I had so much fun last time~ ♠️” Hisoka’s voice sounded playful and you really wanted to smack him.

   “Hisoka, I’m serious.”

   “So am I. ♣” You looked at his face for a few song seconds as he continued chopping the carrots in front of him, a smile on his face. You sighed before putting one arm around his waist and your face on his upper arm, feeling the muscles contract as Hisoka’s movements continued steadily.

   “I’m just scared, you know? I know how they can be and you’ve caught a glimpse of it when you were there. This is just... sketchy. I don’t want them trying or saying anything to try and break us up.” Your voice was so quiet and Hisoka understood what you were saying. He didn’t like your parents, that’s for sure, and despite wanting to kill them, he couldn’t risk having you upset with him and leaving him.

   “Now, now, where’s my brave girl who stood up to them all those months ago? Hmm? ♦” Hisoka asked you teasingly, moving his arm a bit as if to nudge you. When you said nothing in response, he stopped chopping again and looked down at you.

   “(Y/N), look at me. ♣” Your eyes trailed up to his. He rarely called you by your name and this time, his face held a very small, gentle and rare smile. “Some words and threats won’t make me leave you and I hope it’s the same for you. I don’t care what they have to say about me, I’m used to pretty much everything people say about me. And if it gets physical... you know what happens, don’t you? ♦️” You knew very well what would happen and you probably wouldn’t be able to stop Hisoka, so you only nodded. “As long as I know that you want to be with me, I don’t care about anyone else and their opinion on this. ♥️️” He said confidently as he pressed a kiss to your forehead before going back to his vegetables - the conversation was over and you knew it.

   You could only hope that everything would go smoothly.

   And that’s how you found yourself in the passenger seat of Hisoka’s car, speeding down the road while your stomach was in knots from nervousness. That feeling only intensified when you reached your destination. Hisoka turned off the engine and looked at you, taking your hand in his, your heartbeat calming down a notch when he pressed a kiss to your knuckles. The two of you would overcome this somehow. Compared to other things you and your relationship had gone through in the past, this seemed like nothing.

   The moment you knocked on the door, it was opened by your father, who looked at Hisoka with something akin to disinterest and contempt, before his eyes flitted to you, and you could almost feel the word betrayal leaving his eyes.

   “Come in.” The monotonous tone of his voice made your eyebrows furrow a bit, but you should’ve expected this. You both entered and were quickly led to the dining room, where an entire feast had been laid down on the table. Show-offs.

   You all sat down and just endured the awkward silence. They told you two to be there and you weren’t going to give them the satisfaction of breaking the silence. Your eyes were cold as they glanced from your mother to your father, while Hisoka seemed relaxed, looking at the food, the house arrangements, the pictures on the walls, little trinkets spread neatly on different pieces of furniture... He didn’t really seem bothered by the glares your parents were throwing at him, but you still inconspicuously moved your hand underneath the table and grabbed his. His fingers immediately laced with yours tightly and squeezed. You were both there for one another.

   “So, you said you’ve been together for two years already?” Your mother asked in a cold tone.

   “Two years and a half, actually. ♠️” Hisoka answered casually, his eyes moving to stare straight into your mother’s without a hint of fear. She barely flinched at the cold look in his eyes. Hisoka didn’t even need to release his bloodlust. They were already scared of him, and for good reason. You were trying hard not to laugh: finally, your parents were scared of one of your partners, not the other way round.

   “And we’re very happy together.” You completed, not daring to break eye contact as you glanced from one to the other.

   “W-what do you do for a living?” Your father asked this time, seeming a bit more composed. Hisoka’s golden eyes moved to him instead.

   “I’m a Hunter and a Floor Master at Heaven’s Arena.” His answer seemed to shock them somehow. They’d probably heard about how many people usually died while trying to become either one of those. “(Y/N)’s seen my apartment at Heaven’s Arena several times, especially when I had a match, right, lovely? ♥” You nodded, a bit embarrassed, because Hisoka had definitely “shown” you his apartment several times already in all those years. It was luxurious, spacious and felt like a second home whenever you came to visit him since he couldn’t come to you.

   “What about your family?” At this, Hisoka’s smile became tight-lipped and the room temperature seemed to drop a bit as a hint of bloodlust leaked out. Not even you knew everything about Hisoka’s past, but what you knew was that it wasn’t pretty.

   “I don’t care about the past. ♣” He responded simply. You squeezed his hand again and felt relief when he did the same. The situation was still salvageable.

   “This is something only me and him know about and not even I know everything. But unless he wants to tell me, I won’t force him to.” Hisoka knew he’d made the right choice when it came to dating you all those years ago.

   “And what about your plans from now on? What about marriage? What about kids? What will everyone say when they’ll see that you haven’t done any of those? You’re not getting any younger, young lady. Don’t forget the fact that you’re a woman and it’s only natural that you have children.”

   Of course, that’s what they cared about. Why care about your happiness, right? What people said and thought about your family’s reputation was a lot more important, apparently. You were grinding your teeth at this point from all the pent-up anger you felt. Hisoka’s thumb gently moved over your fingers before a sly smirk overtook his face.

   “Oh, you don’t need to worry about kids~ We’re trying several times a day~ ♠️” The embarrassment was evident on your face, but it was overshadowed by the discomfort your parents’ faces showed. “We’ll definitely have a few mini-us running around the house in no time~ Right, lovely? ♥” Hisoka wasn’t lying about the many times you’d slept together, no matter what time of the day it was. That man’s stamina was limitless, you’d experienced that first-hand. And still were.

   “A-and marriage? You can’t have children out of wedlock!” Your mother’s tone of voice was trying so hard to be firm, but it was barely loud enough for the two of you to hear from across the table. Hisoka looked at you with that mischievous grin. Oh God, what was he planning?

   “Now that you mentioned it... I do have something to say about this~ ♦” He said as he pulled out his pack of cards from his pocket. “I didn’t know how to do this before, but you inspired me with your little speech from before about marriage and kids... so you get front row tickets to this show~ ♠️” Hisoka shuffled them several times between his fingers, making either the whole pack, half or one appear, before he threw them up into the air, with several of them falling gracefully facing up while the rest had their numbers, suits and patterns hidden. The cards facing up all had a letter written on them, all of them spelling Marry me? with a heart under the question mark where the dot was supposed to be.

   “What do you say, lovely? Will you be mine forever? ♥” Hisoka almost felt like laughing when he pulled out the ring box out of his pocket. He hadn’t told you that he’d bought the ring several months before nor that he actually practiced how he’d propose to you. It definitely wasn’t the way he planned, with you being in your parents’ house and all, but this felt better. Your face was half-covered by your free hand and your eyes were already watering, while your parents’ faces were as white as paper and frozen in shock. But even now, you were all he could see and he’d be damned if he’d allow anyone to make you sad.

   You could only nod frantically as you whimpered yes several times before hugging Hisoka tightly as he hugged you back, kissing your neck sweetly a few times. You’d never even discussed marriage because you’d never thought Hisoka would even want such a commitment. Clearly, you were wrong and actually lifted your face from his neck only to passionately kiss him, something that pleasantly surprised him. Your parents’ presence had completely disappeared and all you could see, taste, smell and feel was Hisoka. When you two broke apart, you whispered an I love you in his ear before he put the ring on your finger, smirking at you.

   The two of you had completely forgotten about your parents until you spared them a glance. Their mouths were wide open in shock. They thought Hisoka would get scared at the idea of kids and marriage since he didn’t seem like the type to settle down. They had been so wrong and instead of breaking you up, they only managed to make your bond stronger.

   “Thank you for coming to our show! We will be taking our leave now~ ♠️” Hisoka said as the two of you got up, hand in hand, and walked around the table towards the door. “See you at the wedding~ ♦” He said one last time before he used his Bungee Gum and collected all his cards that were on the table, pocketing them as he opened the door and you both left.

   As soon as you got into the car, Hisoka kissed you, gently this time, before saying his own I love you as he wiped your tears. “Come on, beautiful. Let’s go home and celebrate. ♥ I have to call Illumi and let him know that he’s going to be my best man. ♠️” You only laughed before kissing him again and leaving just like 6 months ago, this time with your hands intertwined as the ring sparkled in the sunlight coming in through the windows. You really wondered if your parents would come to your wedding. But whether they would or not, you were definitely excited to become Hisoka’s wife and they wouldn’t be able to stop either of you.

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