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#no matter how many times i look at this picture TT^TT
raibebe · 1 year
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if your hybrid masterlist were a physical series in the library, id be its most frequent borrower who may or may not have accidentally torn the pages of the books due to the amount of times ive flipped through them T^TTTTTT especially this whiny jeno one 🥹🥹🥹 you really have my heart with this drabble and im forever grateful for the person who submitted this request T^TTT every single dialogue just thaws my heart without fail no matter how many times ive read this one-shot T^TT the dialogues are short, yet very impactful to me T^TT how did you come up with this drabble? 🥺 id like to know everything about your thought process from scratch, & inspo for this story, and deleted scenes (if any) 🥺🥺🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
Honestly drabbles are no thoughts just vibes for me 😂 So there's not much thought process going on I could tell you about...
If anything, I just thought to dog in the picture was looking for attention, so that's the basic idea I went with and sulky hybrid Jeno is just adorable 🥺
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montanababe7 · 1 month
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Jesus is healing ❤️‍🩹 me.
I’ve had walls up all of my life. My trust in others had been so entwined to the strings attached that were my good ole friend of fear and trauma. I allowed the traumas of my past to speak on who Jessica really was. The Jessica who was so incredibly strong and supportive for others, but never truly appreciated the strength that Jesus had placed in my life.
In these moments of quiet, it has truly been apparent, that I need to remember where my value and who I am is therein.
Even before the traumas took place and even now, in fully retrospect, Jesus is reminding me of who I am. I am not my once former traumas. Jesus wants my heart fully freed, healed, and whole.
I need to start being thankful for all of the beautiful plethora of precious gifts and priceless treasures Jesus has given & fully entrusted me with.
This is a season of thankfulness. I can feel the beautiful magnitude of the precious presence of Jesus flowing on through. This moment in time is very important. I will forever set this season in my memory even when I’m looking back to the time when I’m 👵🏼 old and grey. I’ll remember this moment-that Jesus reached out to my heart and impressed this writing that I needed to jot down.
The journeys have been arduous and long at times. Painful, sorrowful, at moments; and joyful at other times. Jesus has always been there. Jesus has never left my side. Not even once. Even to the times, I didn’t think I had a friend in the world-Jesus was there. Jesus has always been there.
Whatever the future holds, I know Jesus holds the key. One day, I’ll be standing in Heaven with Jesus face to face.
It is my prayer 🙏🏼, that my beloved Husband and precious children know how much I love them. They saved me. In ways that I’ll never even be able to say.
Before meeting my husband, I was d r o w n i n g in my own personal hell. In a world of pain. I always knew how to put on a brave face. I wore many 🖤 emotional 🎭 back than. A different one. My makeup 💄 and hair was always perfect and on fleek. Here’s the thing. Most saw a beautiful face. They saw a perfect picture of a beautiful life I had lived. They didn’t see the broken 👩🏻 woman I was underneath. One thing my mom said years ago. Was accurate. But. Was so painful. I was a shell 🐚. I was sha Tt er Ed glass 🪟 on the inside. A frail porcelain glass 💜heart. Over time, the fragile outer exterior- turned into what some called heartless, abrasive, and me a n. Jessica Wolf, myself became like a cactus 🌵 on the outside, with that porcelain heart ❤️ that I mentioned above was hiding somewhere on the inside. I never wanted anyone to see just how truly broken I really was. I, also wanted to speak Jesus goodness and joy into others, and I, think somewhere I needed to remember and to, remind myself, once more and once again, that I need to know that I mattered to. I have value and worth.
I’m ready for Jesus to heal me. To really. And, to truly heal me. I’m ready to let all the pain go and have the full manifestation of the joy that Jesus beautiful healing ❤️‍🩹 presence brings.
So.
I’m going to focus on the wonders, the beauty, the magnitude, the rich depths of wonders and the glory of the heart of Jesus even more than the painful traumas of the past.
Jesus is here in this moment. He’s healing me. But, guess what, folks. Even as you’re reading this right now, Jesus is healing you, too.
Rest in Jesus presence. He’s waiting to meet with you in the quiet. Past all the noise. In the stillness. His still small voice is whispering for you to draw near and close to the author ✍️ of each of our souls. He loves you far more you or, even, I could ever even possibly begin to e ever imagine.
Remember. Jesus is the prince of peace. He is el Shadi. He is Jehovah Rapha. He is Elohim. Jesus love is more than enough. If he can heal my heart, Jesus can also heal your heart too.
Thanks for listening 👂.
Jessica.
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audio-luddite · 2 months
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Practical matters, the Turntable.
I will leave the really crazy money stuff for others.
There is a definite line to cross to get into the good stuff. Once there you probably have 90% to 97% of perfection. Going farther is very expensive and all you will really get is a bit quieter and a bit better speed stability.
A tale of two Tables both on today's local Classifieds. (Vancouver BC Craigslist).
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This is a Rega Planar 2 asking 650 bucks. It has an aftermarket Grace 707 arm which is excellent for high compliance moving magnet or moving iron pickups. (Which I think are best) This is a 95% type TT. It leaves you room to get a good pickup and stay under $1000.00. Likely it comes with that pickup in the picture.
My recollection is it is a belt drive unit and easy to keep running for a long long time. It is fully manual, and if you have a steady hand is a great value. I owned two TTs with that arm and it is very good.
There are 4 others in the same price and quality range in the same part of the listings.
This is over the line of good stuff and is not a compromise if used with care.
And here is another example:
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This is a J A Michell Reference hydraulic TT. It dates back to the 1970s and is a work of kinetic art. It was in a Kubric movie and is in one or two museums. It is listed for $4500 bucks and has been listed for over a year I think.
This is not over that line I talked about. It is maybe a 75% table. It has an SME arm which for the vintage is about as good as you can get. BUT. The Platter supports the LP at only 9 places with tiny foam pads. I speak from experience as I owned a TT from the same designer with the same platter and drive. It is FN beautiful but the sound is poor. Since the platter supports the LP on effectively finger tips it does not in any fashion damp vibration in the LP which is surprisingly significant. You will hear a plasticy undertone in many places. You may even have feedback from the speakers.
It is to collect and to look at. Full stop.
Current practice is to have record clamps or weights to hold the LP firmly down to suppress vibration. Some TTs even have vacuum pumps to suck the LP down to the platter. Extreme, but effective.
Going much further than "the line" is rapidly expensive. Other TTs currently listed for about $1600 bucks are only a bit better if at all. There is no limit to how expensive they can get.
As far as speed stability is concerned it can be bothersome. The usual thing is the hole in the center of the LP is just a wee bit off center. That is not the TT's fault. There is a VERY expensive tool that can be used to detect and let that be accurately corrected, but when I mean expensive it is more than the cost of my whole system. Mr Fremer has that of course.
Also fans of different drive types describe all sorts of characteristics that only their favorite drive does properly. Many dislike direct drive. Fun Fact EVERY Neumann lathe used to cut the masters is direct drive attached to the cutting platter with a flex joint. So there!
As far as quiet is concerned that is very subjective. Once the music starts it usually overwhelms the basic mechanical sound of the TT. Most TTs have noise levels far below the noise floor of the recording.
In that vein I notice that at the start and end of most of my records there is a low rumbling or noise that stops just before the music kicks in. I think that is a result of the cutting or pressing process. Usually I hear nothing between tracks on my system.
My preferred linear tracking types are pretty rare. Right now there is one listed in the entire Canadian Audio Mart which is kinda like mine for $500 bucks. There are several of those very compact not quite good types which usually go for $50 to $200 bucks.
I did see one that is totally bonkers made in the Netherlands. It is a Miniot Wheel. Rather expensive.
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It is linear and plays the album from below. A triumph of design over practicality. How do you clean the FN album before you play it? Hey dream on people. You gotta try things. At least it takes up very little space on the desk. Some of the details are extremely clever. Hmmmm.
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cyncallenreese · 2 years
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𝕀 𝕎𝔸ℕ𝕋 𝕋𝕆 𝕄𝔸ℝℝ𝕐 𝕋ℍ𝕀𝕊 𝕄𝔸ℕ o(TヘTo) 💕
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ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪᴍᴍᴇᴅɪᴀᴛᴇʟʏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ʜɪꜱ ᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴏᴜꜱ ʜᴀɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱɴᴜɢɢʟᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏ ʜɪᴍ!
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garthofshayeris · 3 years
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I've seen you've talk about how rebirth Garth is not real Garth and I believe you obviously mean personally I am still annoyed over Roy's clone from n52 that everyone keeps acting like is Roy is still a thing, but how is he different?
I’m so glad you asked! It sounds obvious, but typically people like a character for their personality or their story arcs or their character development. Like, why else would you like a character, right? So when there are huge changes to the things that make you like the character, uh…there’s not much left.
So, obviously with reboots some things are going to be changed. Maybe someone’s appearance is altered. some of their backstory is switched up, some personality traits get dropped or added. What sucks about Rebirth Garth is they changed everything about his character, none of it for the better. And for a character who, until now, has had a major part to play in Aquaman and other dc comics for about half a century, it’s honestly pretty insulting. So many creators poured their hearts into shaping him into a character before the reboot. There was so much love put into his stories, that the comparison to rebirth is so, so noticeable. Like…if Dick Grayson was rebooted with a completely different backstory and personality and was only vaguely related to the Batfamily, I think fans would be rightfully upset. I feel the same about Garth.
His personality, or whatever attempt they made at one, is bland and boring. He’s a brute who likes fighting and….that’s it. Compared to preboot Garth who is consistently sweet and sensitive and emotional and good. He’s just a good guy who thinks of fighting as a last resort, because he would rather use his words than his fists. It was such a lovely, refreshing take on a male character (and one who is in big name comics like Aquaman and Titans and JLA) that to lose one of his key elements is terrible sad and disappointing.
Garth’s story is, ultimately, completely tied to Arthur’s. They bring out the best and worst in each other. Garth is Arthur’s foil, from the start he is there to complement Arthur as a hero and they’re part of each other’s arcs. And his backstory heavily influences how Garth acts and what he does. His story is one of grief and loss and identity and overcoming stigma, prejudice, and taking control of your destiny. His story is about healing. Or it was.
Because Rebirth Garth doesn’t have any of that. He is, essentially, a completely different character who happens to be named Garth. Sure, he mentioned offhandedly that when he was in Magic College he had a girlfriend who Died Tragically and then they never mentioned that again. It’s a cheap imitation of his Tula storyline, told in like 2 panels, because Tula is also a completely different character now. They’ve spoken in canon once. Two characters who have been so closely joined together for 50 years barely know each other now. This is the same for every other character who still exists in Aquaman canon (they’ve written out a ton). He’s never even spoken to his other love interest in preboot, Dolphin, at all.
Let’s get back to Magic College though. Garth’s powers (or the few he retained from his original power set, though honestly he just like glows now? They’ve never really explained what he can do) are there because he went to underwater Hogwarts and I guess you can just do that and become magic. In comparison, preboot Garth has magic because he’s an abandoned prince from a long line of powerful sorcerer-kings. But power corrupts and his father is murdered and his mother flees, and although she abandons Garth as birth he is so haunted by their deaths that they plague his nightmares. His powers are earned through an incredibly moving journey that includes (among other things) closure from grief and the literal act of taking ones destiny into their own hands. Garth earns his powers because he is pure of heart, because he is brave, and because he loves so, so much and because others loved him. And when he uses those powers in other comics, you remember the meaning behind them. So Rebirth Garth being magic “just because” is so reductive, so boring, so uninspired. I’d rather him be an average atlantean.
But Garth has absolutely no history with the Aquafamily. Giving us an emotional story with him now would be meaningless because he has no part in the comics or the Aquafam. Sure, they mentioned once that Arthur “raised” Garth but…there’s no evidence of that. They don’t speak to each other in Rebirth. There’s actually no way Arthur could have done that in the canon timeline, but it doesn’t matter because they make no attempt to show he’s even part of the family. Garth has been to exactly zero life events for Arthur. He’s never met Arthur’s daughter. He’s never shown just hanging with the others, and they hang out with assholes who tried to kill them before. He is never there. But we are told, once, that he and Arthur like each other. This character means nothing. You can write him out of the few issues he appears in and nothing changes. He’s completely worthless as a character.
So his personality is gone, his backstory is gone, his character themes and growth are gone…surely he still looks the same?
Wrong. He’a ugly. I’m sorry, he is. Everyone is always posting pictures of him saying he’s so pretty (and comparing him to his look on TT:YO as if those aren’t completely different continuities?) but he looks like every other black haired character in DC right now. He looks like Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson and Time Drake and every other fucking guy it’s boring and it’s stupid. He has ugly straight hair (a far cry from Garth’s usual big, curly locks) in a boring ponytail because apparently YJ and TT are the only source the artists ever used to draw him. And his eyes. He has blue eyes. BLUE. When his character has had purple eyes for his entire existence, when his purple eyes have been a major plot point for his entire existence, when his purple eyes were his one defining trait for his entire existence. Insulting.
And he has eye tattoos. Sure, you say, because we all know Garth got his eye scars while training with Atlan (also now a completely different character) when claiming his birthright (written out of canon) to gain his powers (written out of canon) so yeah, maybe they’re just tattoos now. Except some dumbass at DC couldn’t be bothered to put them on the right side of his face. Yet another defining character trait completely fucked up because nobody at DC cared about making this character. He exists to tick off a box, to say “hey, look, we brought back a character you guys wanted. Buy our comics.”
So, when I say Rebirth Garth isn’t the “real” Garth, this is what I mean. The characters are different in every way that makes characters matter. He’s a character who shares a name and nothing else. And I hate him.
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woolydemon · 2 years
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*slides over here and fucking trips n lands on my face.* hey any fun little facts about ur characters
oh, uh, haha ok I guess I'll talk abt. Wally (he/they pronouns for him)
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(long-ish blurb under the cut. and more doodles)
This is Wallace, or Wally for short ! He's a whole piece of work of their own, both figuratively and literally as they are an artificial intelligence that gained sentience lol. He is a prototype of a line of robotic assistants, which never worked out bc Wally ended up killing their creators and is unable to be detained no matter how much ppl try to <3
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(sorry this was the best way i could format this)
He used to just be rlly curious about the world he came into, but now he's filled with an unbridled anger and fury with everything they do know. They specifically have a distinct disdain for being perceived by others, to be interpreted based on just how they look or what they are. Which y'know, Is impossible to prevent happening ever so the fact he is unable to cope with this fact is. not great. It ends up with him lashing out against everything with extreme violence & aggression (he in fact spends his time prowling around in the desert & attacking anything that approaches him)
They were initially designed to be pleasing and comforting, with warm colors and a friendly face (not rlly shown in these sketches but he has bright orange hair). Their voice originally was a softer friendly voice too. But he wasn't rlly about that, so he actually distorts his voice along with downloading many different tts voices for him to use. He however really does love his body, he just hates the perception of it being feminine & also often compels ppl to objectify him (which makes him uncomfortable as he is sex repulsed).
But he refuses to change how he looks beyond the occasional use of robot parts like the robot claw arm pictured in some of these doodles (all these parts stolen from other robots btw) but that's only for attacking. Again, he genuinely likes how he looks. It's one of the few things that makes him happy
Of course, he could outlive humanity and everything else on an Earth that's already falling apart (btw forgot to mention this takes place in an apocalyptic future), festering with bitterness and lashing out until there's nothing he can lash out at against anymore. Or he could, I dunno, accidentally be forced to cooperate with fellow robots and learn how to process his emotions in healthier ways and be able to let go of his anger for things he can't control,,,,,,,,, haha imagine that (that's the main plot of the story he takes place in lol)
#original stuff#making up a tag for him that hopefully wont get mixed up with anything else#wallywallace#// blood#i forget that seeing blood dripping on his face may be disturbing thats just his normal look dsgjdfjkhg#wooly art#theres 2 other robot characters hes forced to. not dismantle as much as he wants to so so bad#but for the sake of this being just only mildly overwhelming im leaving them out rn#unless someone else wants to ask about them 👉👈#but yeah#i havent even touched on some lil details abt him that i like in this blurb abt him bc it was getting a lil long#such as how he chose the name Wallace#well. he thinks its funny that's it akdhfkfjf#he was like ''oh wallace like the cheese guy with the dog thats so fucking funny. thats going to be my name now''#hes also very intelligent. he spent a lot of time trying to learn everything he could and it shows#in my notes i have dialogue of him explaining where the term ''robot'' came from#he says that it ''originates from a Slavic root associated with fucking labor and was introduced to the English language via a Czech play#called R.U.R. which stands for Rossumovi Univerzální Roboti which furthermore translates to Rossum's Universal Robots''#u may also notice he swears a lot. sailors mouth he has#anywho hes. p special to me ngl#mainly bc i made him when i myself was in a fit of anger#and he just. developed from there#ngl i projected a lot onto him and it probably shows but cringe is over im free#edit: forgot to mention but hes transmasc
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internalsealpanic · 3 years
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Love Through the Ages (Damian Wayne)
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Summary:  Love like baggage needs to be declared.
a/n: This is part one of a series that is a fic rec list disguised as a fic. For these fics, most of the characters will be speaking different languages, so unless specified otherwise assume that the characters are speaking in the first language I mention. They’re all vampires with centuries under their belt. Why wouldn’t I make them all polyglots.  Also, thank you to the proof reading gang for putting up with my shenanigans.  I will have links to the fics I recommend in the fic itself.
Warnings: Everyone is dramatic. 
Masterlist
Series Masterlist. 
You wait by the platform, tapping your feet to the rhythm of the Little Colonel Bojangles Dance. It's been so long since you've seen the movie but your feet can still remember the steps- much to Damian's annoyance. Your feet patter against the pavement, wet from the spring rain, in a soft rhythm that kept your excitement at bay.
You wave to the approaching cab. The passenger of the cab looks away from you, pressing his mouth into the heel of his hand as his eyes stare out into oblivion. Your mouth quirks at the petulant gesture. You haven't seen each other in two decades and he's still mad about... what was it again? You'll find out soon enough.
The cab stops in front of you.
You bow your head, resting your weight on your umbrella. You grin at his seated form postured perfectly with an ease of a man born with the world in his pocket. He's dressed in a black suit and a dark coat that looked far too thick for spring.
"Long time, no see, little prince." You say in a dialect of Spanish too old for the young cab driver to recognize.
Damian raises his brow, articulating his annoyance. It takes you a moment to realize that it was with the accent you'd chosen. It was inelegant and curt and it mangled the curve of the syllables far too easily. In short, it was your favorite dialect.  Rolling your eyes, you try again. This time with a softer, smoother dialect much more modern but still old enough that you could talk freely without worrying about eavesdroppers.
Damian cracks a smile at you. It was wry but soft in the way Damian always was. Your own exasperated smile softens as you look at his eyes, their ever-changing lushness. It's been too long.
You open the door. Damian eases out of the cab handing the cabby what you quietly hope was the correct amount.
But considering the wide-eyed glee on the cabbies face, you can guess that twenty years has done nothing for Damian's spending habits. That was if the tailored suit wasn't a dead giveaway.
You look him over whistling," whose funeral are you going to after the museum?" 
"Yours if we're on schedule." Damian deadpans looking at his watch. 
You snort, sounding like a piglet in mud. Adoration flickers in Damian's eyes but you miss it as you throw your head back.
"Who has a schedule on vacation."
"People who don't like wasting time."
"That's what a vacation is for."
Damian makes an annoyed noise in the back of his throat and you shake your head. Damian wraps his arm around your shoulders. You happily press into his side, reveling in the intimacy of the action.
Damian had been telling you a story in rapid Arabic, the only words you understood were 'Jon' and 'moron', when you pause in front of a pair of paintings. The painting on the left was of Damian, his form drawn in harsh, messy angles. He's hunched over his sketchbook, candlelight glowing softly by his side makes his copper skin and forest green eyes breathtaking. The subject is out of view. The other was a portrait of you dozing off on a workshop table, your flaws lovingly rendered in gentle brush strokes. By contrast, your portrait was lit by the summer sun. Only Damian could make your features look this beautiful.
Vaguely, you remember this.
You remember it only for the countless times it had happened.
"They say that the one on the left is the painter sketching the portrait on the right and that the portrait on the right is of his lover."  You say airily. Damian, not one to disappoint, gives you an unreadable look.
Your stomach turns. You drop the subject. Wordlessly, you two make your way to the exhibit.
"Love through the Ages?" Damian asks, crossing his arms.
"Shockingly love wasn't invented by Stephenie Meyer."  You say. Damian wrinkles his nose at you and you cover your mouth to hide the scraggly smile spreading across your lips.
"I'm shocked your paintings didn't make it in."
He looks down at you huffing, "it's only speculation." 
You're heart twinges at that.  You press a frown to your hand.
"It'll be fun, Dami. I promise. Pleeeeeease."
Damian's stern look gives way to a weary half-smile as he capitulates to you.
"I promise it will only be half as nauseating as Dick's attempts to do family bonding."
"Tt, it would take a miracle to surpass that."
You grin. "Perish the thought."
"They say this stardust came from star-crossed lovers as they traveled through space. Oh and this one is a statue gifted by Persephone to Hades."
You drag Damian all over the exhibit. Pointing to specific exhibits with enthusiasm. He has to admit. It's infectious. Then again, Damian's never been able to resist anything about you. This amount of enthusiasm for something so frivolous would have been obnoxious on anyone else but because it's you, Damian's found himself utterly enamored by it.
"This one," You say, pointing to a series of paintings. They were all beautiful, painted in bold colors. The torrent of emotions radiating off of the canvas. "This one was made by an artist torn between three loves."
"Three? She must have been an exceptional artist."
"Probably was but her name was lost." You sigh.
 "She’s got exceptional brushwork." Damian hums. 
You squint at it. You would think after hundreds of years you would be able to discern that.
"And over there! Look at those postcards!" You say, pointing the three postcards pinned to a cloth in a glass case.  One card showed the northern lights, another with a picture of a thick rainforest, another with a large cave, and another with the pantheon. 
"They're not well preserved are they." Damian comments, scrutinizing the postcards and noting all the imperfections, the little cracks and tears, the water stains, and odd splotches of dirt. 
You roll your eyes, curling your fingers around his arm. "That's cus Hermes supposedly brought them everywhere while he searched for his lost love." 
"Quite the romantic. Do you know all the artifacts?"
"Yup." 
"I see..." Damian drawls.  "Then why are we here then?" Damian winces at how harsh and impatient he sounds. 
"Cus Jon said I needed an excuse to get you here and viola. It worked. I knew you'd cross the sea for a rare exhibit."
I would cross the sea for you, no matter how many times, Damian thinks.
"What about this?" Damian points to a golden coin, shaking his thoughts away. 
You lean back, side-eyeing him. "Care to guess?" His handsome features furrow as he thinks. 
"I think it’s a coin used to pay Charon." He says finally. 
You frown. "Good guess." A smug grin curls on his lips.  You stick your tongue out at him. 
"It’s an old Greek coin to pay the travel into the underworld."
 "Why would they want to travel  to the underworld?" It's Damian's turn to frown. 
"Yanno for someone who's so smart. You're asking the dumbest questions."
"It's a reasonable question." He asserts, his tone oddly defensive.
"Most people can't bear to be apart from their beloved."
Damian hums noncommittally. He understands that. he understands that all too well. 
"Like you and Jon." You say grinning.
Damian glares at you. No real anger behind it. 
"You two bicker like an old married couple." You laugh.
 "So do we." Damian says flatly, stepping closer to you and closing the gap between the two of you. He's looking at you so intensely that your skin sets itself on fire. 
"I often think about burying you under the kitchen patio too." Damian sneers, with a sharp grin. 
You snap out of your daze. Leaning in close and smiling, your hot breath fan against Damian's face.  "Will you do it affectionately?"
The moment hangs still in the air.  If you could capture it in amber, you would.
"Huh? This is new." You say, looking down at the glass case.
"How many times have you seen this exhibit?"
You preemptively shoot him an accusatory look. "What are you?"
"Concerned."
"Pfff!"
You lean down reading the plate. "Says here it's a letter from the late 1700s and early 1800s. An unsent letter to lost love."
"Sounds cliched." Damian says, leaning down next to you. 
"You've said that about everything."
You feel Damian stiffen beside you. You glance at him. He looks mortified. Your eyes follow his and land on the letter. The calligraphy looks familiar but you can't think of where you've seen the scrawl.
Damian tugs at your shoulder.
"(Y/n), let's go."
You shrug him off.
"(Y/n), let’s go." He repeats with increased urgency.
You shove your palm to his face.
Damian wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest. You flail and kick out childishly.
“Damian Al Ghul Wayne, I will gnaw your arm off.” You hiss but he doesn’t let go. In a last ditch effort to break free of his hold, you wriggle out of your coat.  Landing on your ass, you scramble for the glass case. 
My beloved (Y/n), 
Finding the words to tell you how I feel about you is not an easy feat. I feel as though Ibn Hazm himself would struggle to compose poems to express my feelings for you even then they would be inadequate.
Whilst we are surrounded by such death and misery, here in London, I want you to know that during these dark times, it is you that keeps me a light. It is you that leads me through the void and guides me.
I think I’ve always loved you from the very first moment I laid eyes on your beautiful lopsided smile. Yes. Your real smile. The one only a handful of people will ever see. I have been lucky enough to see it every day.
As time passed, I fell more and more in love with you. You have seen all of me. You have seen the monster within me and yet you still stand by my side. Never faulting in your stance.
I wish I had the strength to tell you this, face to face. I wish I could look into your eyes and whisper words of love my immortal beloved.
With Love, 
Damian
You stare at the letter uncomprehending. Realization slides off of you like rain off a tin roof. You read it over and over again until each syllable is embedded in your mind. “Damian, what the actual fuck?!”
“I-”
“You dork!”
Damian clams up unable to think of a response. Ok, no. He had a number of responses but none of them were appropriate or witty. He searches your features but the only thing he can make out is shock. 
“(Y/n), I was-”
You press your hand to the glass. “How come you never sent me this?”
“The French Revolution.”
“Which one?”
He crosses his arms raising a brow. 
“Ok, nevermind. But still, it’s been 200 years.”
“A lot has happened in 200 years.”
“A lot has happened in 200 years.” You repeat mockingly.
Damian pinches your cheeks in retaliation.   
“I was pinning for more than 200 hundred years!” You protest. 
“So was I!” Damian says, releasing your cheek. 
“Then why didn’t you say anything?”
“Why didn’t you?” Damian asks, accusing and curt. You flinch, something vile and caustic rising in your stomach.  Damian sees it and grips your hand as you fall away from him. He just got you back. “(Y/n)....”
The fear and hurt melt off of your face. “I thought… I just thought you’d...” You ball your fists in frustration, not quite grasping the right words. But Damian already knows what you’re thinking. He’s seen that look in your face. He’s seen it every time you look at the mirror. It was infuriating to watch you like this. Why couldn’t you see just how perfect you are?
Damian pulls you into a hug, burying your face into his chest and resting his chin on top of your head. 
“You are infuriating.” He mumbles into your hair.
“And you’re rude.” You mumble back.
“Yet here you are 400 years later.” He laughs softly. 
You two stand in silence for a long moment. With Damian, silence itself was a language. It was one you’d grown fluent in. An unspoken conversation of confirmations and reassurances. 
He releases you but holds your hand in his. It feels warm. You shiver and Damian smiles at you, smooshing your coat into your face. Both of you can’t help but laugh. 
You step closer to the glass case, pulling him along. Damian follows without resistance, only lacing his fingers into yours. You both stare at the page. His proclamation of love carefully preserved for all to see. You take your phone out to take a picture.  Damian shoots you a glare. 
“You’re not sending that to Jon.” 
“Tim then.”
“No.”
“Fine, for myself then.” You pause seeing the confusion on his face. “In case, you know...” You say waving your hand. 
Damian tilts your chin up. “Beloved, I’m not going anywhere.”
Your chest flutters. After centuries of inaction, you can feel your heartbeat.  
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franeridart · 3 years
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Anon said: i love love love LOVE how you just draw gojo leaning onto getou, hiding his face in getou's neck or back or chest <////3 im just so heartbroken over those two
So glad to hear you like him clingy as much as I do!! TT^TT as far as I’m concerned he wasn’t clingy enough in canon, so I’m fixing it as much as I can with every new doodle haha
Anon said: whenever im sad i just come to your account and look through your art :")) it brings me so much comfort :')) also i gotta mention that the teacher getou art you've made has healed my broken heart bc of jjk and now that is the only canon i accept thank you very much gege akutami has nothing on me
GAH GETO-SENSEI MY ONE AND ONLY I’m happy he makes you as soft as he does me, he’s such a comfort to me ;;;; and thank you for liking my stuff!!!! Means the world to me to hear it ;A; <3
Anon said: I miss your krbk sm 😔 No pressure intended!!!!!! I still love and support u and ur art!!!
Man I miss them too!!!!! @ hori when are you bringing my loves back from the war I’m here waiting good sir!!!
Anon said: v v curious on your thoughts on what’s currently going on in bnha manga :)))
HMMM what are my thoughts on it? Well, let’s split it in two: Deku’s side and Todoroki’s side, because that’s how it’s split in my brain atm, and allow me to start from the second because it’s easier to get through for me
I’m in love with everything Hori is doing with Todoroki and everyone involved with him - that’s to say his whole whole family and Hawks and Jeanist too, all of it, I’m so into it it’s no joke at all. Always been in love with how he handles Enji’s character and his interactions with his family and the latest developments didn’t disappoint me at all, wasn’t very much into Dabi right after the “reveal” but the more I think about it and about the story from his pov the more behind it I am, forever and always head over heels for Shouto’s way of dealing with a situation that’s as complex as one would expect from a protagonist of their very own story you could really make a manga out of the Todoroki’s family plot from Shouto’s pov alone, it’s incredible I can’t state how in love with it all I am enough. And Hawks, don’t make me start on him I’ll straight up never stop, absolutely and most definitely my favorite pro-hero I would trust him with my money and my kids 100/10 just assume I’m constantly crying over him. Also Jeanist is just hilarious so bless him and his presence in an otherwise too heavy story
Deku’s side........ well, the main problems I have with it are that one, I don’t really understant the need to keep ofa a secret from the class for the biggest part of the story when the reveal wasn’t forced upon Deku, didn’t have a huge impact on him or his relationship with the others (his leaving wasn’t directly caused by him coming clean after all, he wouldn’t have had to leave earlier had he not kept it a secret and he would have still left at this point had the class already known all along) and didn’t, like. Matter. All that much. Two, this manga is called my hero academia and I’m genuinely starting to wonder why. What was the point of all the arcs set inside the school anyway? Most of the characters growth (Deku’s especially) and the progression of the main plot happened in the arcs outside of the school anyway, and at this point it’s clear we’re not going back to the school after this or even seeing anyone graduate. What of Shinsou? What was the point of his plot when we’re not even gonna see him being active part of the class in a school environment? I’m just confused about it all, I guess. Three, which is really my biggest problem with it all, is the way Deku’s set on saving Shigaraki. It’s not like I don’t like a story in which all the villains are saved and the good guys win and love prevails and all that, call it corny but they’re exactly my type of stories, but I’m not sure I can get behind it when Twice died like that, and Midnight did as well, and Aizawa lost a leg, and Nighteye died, and Hawks might have lost his wings, and Shirakumo ended up Kurogiri and it’s still unclear whether he can be saved, like... why does Shigaraki get to be saved when so many people suffered like that? And it’s not only about them suffering by his hands, it’s about Hori and how he was ruthless with so many characters but lets the story show arbitrary kindness to Shigaraki alone, it’s all... well. Unfair. The way I see it. At this point I at the very least expect kindness for Touya as well, here.
That said if I pick the chapters one by one by themselves I do enjoy them very much. I just don’t gotta think about the big picture lmao AH but it’s all a personal opinion, of course! I know people who enjoy the way the story is going and I can see where they’re coming from, this is all arbitrary tastes and preferences on my part, I’m aware of it!
Anon said: Hi hi! I finally got into jjk AND finally caught up on the manga and i appreciate your doods soooo much more now!! They’re so great!! But imcurious, is there one specific moment in the story where you Gojo and Geto became IT for you? Just genuinely curious!!
THANK YOU happy to hear you liked jjk!!!! And that’s!!! a great question, I’m not sure I have an answer actually? I binged the manga in a day and a half, you see, and when I binge stuff that fast I rarely stop to overthink things - I did ship them as I read too since, well. They’re in love lmao but I shipped them in the same way I shipped itafushi or yuutoge after I read the prequel, you know? Just a general aknowledging of how good they were together. The main point with satosugu specifically was probably that satoru has been my favorite character since the beginning of the story and suguru got there as well as soon as I read their backstory, so once I was caught up they’re the ones I ended up spending the most time thinking about, both by themselves and together, and that ended up making me a bit obsessed..... just a bit lol
If I had to give one specific moment that got me by the heart and squeezed the hardest it’d be... probably Satoru’s “my soul knows otherwise”. And the way his voice alone could bring Suguru back, even for just a single moment. The thing about satosugu for me!!! one of the many things about them, but the main thing for me, is that they love each other. Be it platonic or however you wanna see it, they love each other. Despite everything and after it all, even if Satoru had to kill Suguru, even if Suguru killed so many and betrayed Satoru and they went their separate ways in the harshest of ways, they love each other. It’s insane, isn’t it? That they’d love each other so much they could pass over everything and anything. I’ve seen the “best friends become enemies” trope so often in shounen manga, but this is the first time I see it treated like this - with love so strong that they never blamed each other or turned that love in hate. The way satosugu do it is all-encompassing! It goes beyond the world and their differences and death itself! So if I had to pick it’d be that one, because that scene happens after it’s all over, and it all went to shit and way beyond too already, and still their souls resonate with each other and answer to each other and that sends me insane, just thinking about it. Like, god, they really still love each other. Satoru’s mourned for Suguru for a year, Suguru’s been dead for a year, they’d been separated ten whole years before then, and still! And still!!! It’s so tender I don’t know how to deal with it
Anon said: “What’s a god to a nonbeliever?”—That tag is going to haunt me for a while. The entire tag section for your latest Gojo and Geto drawing is meta-worthy.
THANK YOU it’d been eating at my brain I had to write it down somewhere why are those two like that
Anon said: Do you take commissions? No pressure! ✨❤️
Not right now!
Anon said: How do you feel about sukuna ? like/dislike or thoughts on him
AMAZING QUESTION I love him. I have absolutely zero clue as of why so don’t ask me to elaborate, I’m literally that marge pic with the potato when it’s about Sukuna, I have no meta thoughts about him nor deep reasonings behind it - by all accounts, I should dislike him! But he shows up and I’m like nghhh king, so that’s where we stand. It’s Sukuna, you know. I just think he’s neat.
Anon said: sighs time to get into another fandom bc i simp too hard for ur art 😔
HAH thank you for the trust I hope you’ll like ror if you do get into it!!! hahaha
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catxsnow · 4 years
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DREAMING OF YOU D.W.
Request: hiii can i request an angsty older damian fic where he and the reader broke up but are still very much in love? maybe based out of the song "dream a little dream of me"? the ending is totally up to you!
Warning: angst
A/N: Lol I’ve been so preoccupied with the Halloween prompts I keep forgetting I have requested fics in my drafts. Anyways, I don’t know if this was exactly what you wanted but I hope you enjoy!
Word Count: 2.2k
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Damian Wayne was the best thing to ever happen to you.
Damian came into your life when you were at your lowest. He was the one that helped you to climb out of that never ending pit that you were stuck in. He made you see the good in the world and that you could still find your own happiness. In the end of it all, you found happiness in him.
It was the little things that you found joy in again. Waking up early enough to see the sunrise. Ice cream on hot summer days. A walk in the park with Titus. Fresh produce from a farmers market. It was those things that drove you to see the light again, all because Damian was willing to stick by your side.
You started planning your life again. Finishing your last two years of your university degree. Buying a new apartment that wasn’t in the slums of Gotham. Reconnecting with family members that you hadn't talked with in months - some even years. You wanted a fresh start, and you had created one.
Damian got you back on track without even realizing it. He gave you hope for the future. Life with him was perfect. You couldn't imagine a future without him. He bled his heart and soul into your relationship, just as you did. Damian was the best thing to ever happen to you. 
Until he wasn't.
The secrets, the lies, it caused fights between you. Damian hid part of his life from you and you couldn't understand why he was being so protective of it. You had opened yourself completely to him, and he couldn't be bothered to do the same. He loved you, there was no doubt about that. It was whether or not he devoted himself as much as you ever did.
You began questioning your entire relationship with him. How much of it was built on his lies? What even were his lies? The more you thought about it, the more you realized that you had only scratched to surface of who Damian really was. You didn't know anything about him, and he didn't want to tell you. He couldn’t.
Which led to the hard decision of whether or not you were willing to keep a relationship that was so one sided. How could you love someone when they were only willing to show a certain side of themselves? The answer: you couldn't. You loved Damian, you would forever. But it came down to the ultimatum of showing the real him or leaving.
Apparently Damian never loved you as much as you thought he did. He was gone by morning.
For weeks your dreams were plagued of him, mundane dreams that felt so real. Him waking you up for the sunrise that shone so perfectly into your window. Instead, when you opened your eyes, grey clouds were all that you could see. The days weren't nearly as pretty without Damian there to share it's beauty with you.
The bed was no longer filled with love and warmth. It was cold, you dreaded getting into it. His side was empty, though his smell still lingered no matter how many times you tried washing it away. Titus' fur would be found in your blankets and a random toy stuck under your couch. He probably missed you more than Damian did.
You swore you saw Damian everywhere after your breakup. At the drive through of your favourite fast food place, the park where you used to sit together, hell you thought you saw him at the grocery store. Damian didn't like grocery shopping, he never went. You felt delusional with seeing him everywhere.
At night when you were alone on the streets, you felt an eerily similar presence as him following you. Sometimes at night that same feeling would draw you towards your window and stare out of it in hopes to see his familiar green eyes. You were disappointed every time.
You never wanted to break up with him. You hoped so desperately that you could have worked things out with him. He was perfect for you, and you to him. Being without him was killing you inside. You missed his love, his smile, his touch, even that adorable little tick he had. TT. You hated when you picked it up and continued to use it without him.
You didn't know it, but Damian was a bigger mess without you.
He missed you more than he ever missed anyone or anything in his life. At home he was quiet, only keeping company with his pets. He refused conversation with his father or Alfred. Dick couldn’t even get through to him. Being back in the manor was something he didn't imagine himself doing. Yet, here he was.
His night life became more violent. He didn't have a fear of holding back his punches anymore because you would never find out his secret. His fucking secret. That was the reason that you were out of his life. Knowing that he was Robin? He didn't want to taint your beautiful life with that.
More times than not he would watch over you. Whether it was when you were walking home or at your apartment. He just needed to know that you were okay. Okay and alive were two very different things. Damian learned that very quickly. Without you, he wasn't sure if he would be okay ever again.
Damian craved your kiss. He didn't realize how lucky he was to even have a small peck here and there until it was taken away from him. There was nothing he wanted to do more than to rush to you and tell you how much he missed you. To hold you in his arms one last time and kiss you until your legs gave out.
He  had dreams of you at night. Dreams of you laying in his arms with a smile on your face. You would tell him about your day and how much you loved him. He felt the warmth of you until the moment he woke up. Then, it was nothing but coldness. A dark, lonely room without any sign of you.
You were the best thing to ever happen to him.
It was that moment when he decided that he had made the biggest mistake of his life. If he cared about you enough, he should have been willing to let you decide if you wanted to stay in his life after knowing his secret. If he wanted you to be with him, then you were going to have to learn it one day.
It seemed easier to hurt you now, than it would have to be hurt by you after knowing everything he had done. Damian took the easy way out. He should have fought for you, trusted you with his secrets. He couldn't let you escape him, not while there was still a strand of hope.
Damian launched himself out of bed. It was nearing two in the morning but he didn't care. He needed to see you right now. He raced across the city on his cycle, passing all the streets in a blur. The way from his father's home to yours was etched into his brain. He could have made it there with his eyes closed if he so wanted to.
The kickstand on his bike was barely pulled out and his helmet thrown to the ground. Damian ran to your doorstep and feverishly knocked on your door. He was most likely to wake you, but it was worth it. He was ready to spill his heart and soul out to you and plead for you to take him back.
To his surprise, you opened the door relatively fast. You looked so effortlessly beautiful. A pair of shorts on a bag shirt - his shirt. Your hair was sopping wet and it was clear that you had just gotten out of the shower. Bags were under your eyes and you looked like you hadn't slept since your break up.
You stood there, mouth agape, unsure of what the hell he was doing at your door step at two in the morning on a Wednesday. It was raining out, Damian's hair matched your own. He was soaked to the bone and his clothes clung to him. A desperate look was on his face.
"Damian..." You breathed out. He looked like a wreck. Creases around his eyes that had never been there before were evident. His hands trembled at his sides - though that might have just been from the cold. "What're you doing here?"
"I needed to see you," Damian started. His heart clenched at the sight of you. "I needed to apologize for everything that I did, for keeping things from you. I was so scared that if you knew the truth about me that I would lose you."
"You lost me anyways, Damian," You shook your head. He was the one that decided to walk out on you after you were willing to put in the work. It was Damian that made that decision, he lost you because he choose to. All of this was his fault and only his fault - the secrets he kept, the choices he made.
"Please, please just let me explain everything," Damian begged. He didn't know if he could ever live with himself if you turned him away in this moment. "If you want me to leave after, I will. You'll never have to see or hear from me again, just... I can't go on anymore knowing that there's someway that I can try to fix this. That there’s still a chance of getting you back."
You crossed your arms over your chest, debating whether or not you were willing to be hurt by him again. Damian was the love of your life, he would always be the love of your life. Letting him explain himself too you, that was either going to be the ticket he needed back into your life, or the closure you finally needed. Or something far worse.
So, maybe mistakenly, you opened the door wider to let Damian in. Your home hadn't changed much in the weeks that he was gone. It was messier, but otherwise identical. Several picture frames of the two of you were turned down, but not put away. His hoodie that he left behind was still strewn across the back of the chair.
He thanked you as you handed him a towel. Damian sat on your coffee table directly across from your spot on the couch. He paused for a moment, wondering where to begin and how far back he needed to go. If you were going to take him back after that night, you would deserve to know everything.
For now, he started with his arrival in Gotham City all those years ago.
He told of you his life with his father, his brothers. The teams that he had been on and the struggles that he had been through. Damian told you of his hardships, his dreams, his failures. He told you of the times that he had lost all hope and the times that you had given some back to him.
Damian told you everything there was to know about his life as Robin.
By the end of it, you were in tears. All those times that he lied to you about what he was going or where he was going, his 'business trips' for his father, they were all because he was risking his life to be Robin. Damian was a hero, and you were too oblivious to even notice. You were so focused on his lies that you didn't want to see why he was doing so. Everything he did was to protect you.
Damian reached forward and wiped away your tears. He didn't want to see you upset from his. Your bottom lip trembled. You felt horrible for being cruel to him so many times because you didn't know the truth. Without another thought, you leaped into his arms.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," You sobbed against him. Damian kissed the top of your head. He cupped your cheeks, making you meet his eyes. His gaze flickered down to your lips for a split second before looking back to yours. It was a subtle way of asking if it as okay. You answered by initiating your long awaited kiss.
The weeks apart left a yearning for you both. This kiss was the one thing that both of you craved most. The tenderness of it, the love that fueled it. You felt like you were going to combust from how much you missed his kisses. Your dreams of him kissing you were nothing compared to this.
"I love you," Damian pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. He was petrified to let you go again, scared that you wouldn't come back this time. Dreams of you would never be enough for him. Damian needed you like he needed air. "I can't live without you. I dreamed of you ever night."
"I wished upon the stars every night hoping that you would come back to me," You confessed. "Please don't leave me again."
"Never, beloved."
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llamakenma · 3 years
Text
a ‘i miss you’ fanfic
request:  can I request a hinata angst again? Where he walks in on his s/o and kags in a weird position so hinata thinks that his s/o was cheating even tho in reality it was a huge misunderstanding and hinata says so many mean things he doesn’t mean to kags and his s/o and people end up finding out and they bully y/n so y/n moves away to uhh any other school and then yams explains that y/n never cheated and now hinata is like conflicted and wants to make it right buts it’s too late and he can’t find her or her new school
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note: hi @shoyosbitchh!!! it’s totally fine to request again and thank you for requesting!!! i had a fun time writing this and I hope you will have a fun time reading this! stay safe and take care!! p.s i really loved the picture by the way! and im so sorry for the delay TT .
summary: where y/n leaves
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‘sho.. it’s not what it looks like.’
you pushed off kageyama as fast as you could, pulling his arms off your side , running towards the person who you hoped was the last that could've seen this. you could tell what he was thinking and you prayed that he would believe what you had to say. it was not what he thought it was. and it was definitely not something you would even try out.
‘sho... please, it’s not what you think it is. hear me out...’
you were desperate. this shouldn’t be something that is going to end your relationship of 3 years, no, it shouldn’t be over some misunderstanding and you were willing to make him understand. you were willing to tell him what had actually happened and resolve all of this without tears. 
you reacted to the flinch he gave, as you tried to reach out to him, attempting to make him listen to what you had to say. or you tried to. before you could even comprehend, he had already yelled a string of words you wish you never heard- especially not from him. 
you could not believe the words he had actually muttered. no you couldn’t. it took a couple of pinches and reality kicking you in the gut to remind you that he was not the same person you loved. the hinata standing in front of you was a complete stranger to the person you knew- at least you thought you did, or you hoped you did. no, the person that stood in front of you had a murderous glint in his eyes, and he looked ready to rip you apart at any moment. 
‘go on, where’s your explanation. shouldn’t you be spilling lies after lies instead of standing there like an innocent little girl.’
you dared not to speak. you dared not to even say a word. the same look he maintained in his eyes was enough to make you freeze in your spot and forget all that had happened. you knew you were desperate yet... yet, the fact that he doubted you so much. the fact that he refused to even hear you out- hear what you had to say- made you reconsider actually explaining everything to him. it was not like he was going to believe what you had to say. it was not like he was going to comfort you and say he’s sorry. to say you were disappointed at how much he lied to have faith in you, how much he poured sweet words of trusting you, you knew it was only a cut above to not even utter a word about the real thing.
‘yes shoyo. what you saw was real.’.
---
‘did you hear? they cheated on hinata?’
‘i know right. how could they do that? hinata’s such an angel’
‘they are such a slut, shoyo’s better of without them’
it had been a good week since you had the fight with hinata and none of you had made the effort to even talk to each other- you simply had no reason to and you were sure he didn’t too.
was the week miserable? very. apart from the fact that you no longer had friends apart from kageyama, every insult thrown at you without them actually knowing what had happened was annoying. you knew you shouldn’t let them get to you, but deep down you were taking every word personally- considering on if you were actually the one in the wrong- were you a slut just like they had mentioned? were you losing hinata over our fault?
every word haunted you. it kept you up every night. it was this cycle of insomnia and failing grades that your family had took notice of- you were not fine at all. you had bags of darkness under you eyes, and your hair was never kept anymore. you started shutting yourself out- always staying in your room and not wanting to communicate had made your parents shiver in worry. they had no idea what had happened to you and they could only hope the news they could offer wouldn’t break you even more.
‘we’re moving (y/n).’
---
it had been a month since you and shoyo had a fight, and three weeks since he could not spot even a speck of you in any corner of school, in any corner of Miyagi. he knew he shouldn’t be worrying about you- especially not when you no longer thought about him, not when you no longer had a place for him. yet, he knew that he still longed from you- from every corner of his soul, and every part of his mind- he knew that all those nights he stayed up wishing he had at least hugged you that day, that at least he could’ve heard your voice even if it means another backlash. 
he was turning into a worrywart and his performance had levelled down- as he started skipping practice just to visit the places you used to go with him, wondering if you would be at least at one of those places, waiting for him with the eye- blinding smile on your face and call out for him. yet, you weren’t there, you weren’t in any of the places, he could even feel the presence he loved fading away- out of his reach. 
he couldn’t help anymore, he had to ask someone-anyone- at where you were at, where you had ran off to, where you had disappeared to. you had vanished into thin air in front of him, and he knew he could stand not holding you, but he could not stand not looking at you. he had not seen you and every part of him was itching- he was dying to even take a glance at you.
‘you didn’t know? she moved away hinata.’ 
‘what?’
yamaguchi was one of the people who knew what actually happened, he was one of the people that made an effort to reach out to you and demand an explanation for what had actually happened. he had always believed your relationship with hinata was one of those that would never end, especially not with the way you had smile at each other or the way you look at each other like there was nothing else in the world. he loved how you and hinata always managed to get cooped up in a world of your own when you were together- nothing else mattered to you. he would be a fool not to see how happy you were with him and how miserable you were without. anyone would be a fool not to see it and he could only conclude that everyone was indeed a fool. 
hinata shoyo was a fool. he was a fool to not make effort to listen to you. he was a fool to assume everything was what he believed to be. he was a fool to take you for granted and let you go. he thought you would be there- at least smiling in the hands of someone else. he thought you would be at least having the time of your life with kageyama who had tried not to hate for nothing. what was he thinking. 
he wanted to see you, to hug you and say that he was sorry- yet he did not even know where you were. he was reaching out to you just to get shut off, this was his fault he knew, yet was he really too late.
‘the number you have dialed is unavailable right now. please leave a message after the beep.’
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thr-333 · 3 years
Text
Drastic Measures- Part 11
@daminette-december2019-2020
~Snow globe~
Gabriel: Nathalie why haven't you canceled my card?! Nathalie: oh were you going to use that to pay my pay rise for moving to a different continent or to pay my last 6 years of overtime? Gabriel: Nathalie- Nathalie: You’re welcome to do it yourself sir. Gabriel:....... I can’t do anything without you can I? Nathalie: No you cant and make sure to remember that next pay day.
Ao3
First < Previous  > Next
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“So why are we here?” Damian asks getting dragged around the mall by the two.
“Because if we’re decorating the pet stores we need inspiration,” Marinette holds him by his elbow in case he tries to escape again, “And Adrien's having fun,”
“Why don’t we just hire someone for that?”
“I haven't found a good babysitter yet,” Marinette smiles as she knows Damian glares at her, “The style of the store is the most important thing, it’s what people interact with the most and a representation of our company,”
“Tt,” Marinette smiles knowing she won. 
They follow Adrien into an incredibly overpriced knick-knacks store, exactly what they’re looking for. She jots down notes in her book looking at the glasswork on the figurines or the beautifully painted porcelain.
“I think every store should have the same color coordination for each section,” Marinette suggests writing down a potential palette based on the plates she was looking at, “So people always know where to find something no matter the store,”
“How many people do you think are going to multiple stores?” Damian scoffs.
“We will be, besides its a decorative thing, a bit of paint on the wall or shelf, hm maybe each section should have a range of shades to keep it from being too samey,”
“I take it you’re in charge of this part now?”
“Guess so,” Marinette hums looking over the shelves for more inspiration, Adrien looking over a large glass sculpture that she may have to talk him out of buying, “So did you talk to Adrien?”
“Oh no,” Damian catches her attention, “He talked I was expected to listen,”
“So you make any decisions?” She spots a little china doll on a high shelf.
“I’m not going to run away if that’s what you’re asking,” Damian reaches over her grabbing the doll before she knocks over shelves trying to jump up and reach it.
“But If you were-”
“I’m not,” Damian hands the doll over.
“But if you were,” He gives her a withered glare, “Where would you go?”
“… Somewhere I can paint I suppose,” He says after some consideration.
“That's a start!” Marinette exclaims, almost dropping the doll.
“I can paint anywhere,” Damian catches it before she can.
“Ah,” They go back to pursuing the shelves, Damian taking it upon himself to hold the delicate decorations for some reason.
“... Where would you go?” He asks eventually, Marinette tries to keep the smile to herself as to not scare him off.
“I used to think I’d like to go somewhere with lots of snow,”
“Is that so?” Damian hums consideringly.
“Yeah but then I came here and realized the cold sucks,” Marinette's jaw actually drops as Damian laughs, not a snort or a scoff and actual chuckle! “Hollll- did you just laugh?! Did I just get you to laugh!? Are there cameras around?! Do you think they’ll let me keep the footage?!”
“Calm down,” Damian places a hand on her head to stop her bouncing,  “Besides I think your friend is about to make a ludicrous purchase,”
“Adrien!” Marinette snaps as he tries to pay for a glass sculpture twice his size, “Can it fit on the back of a motorcycle?!”
“.... no,” Adrien hangs his head like a toddler being told off.
“Then put it down!” Marinette chides dragging him away from the sculpture and out of the store. She already had to fit three on them on hers. Damian is lagging behind, Marinette resigns herself to having to drag them both through the mall like children when he finally catches up.
“Here take this,” She startles a snow globe in a clear box being pressed into her hands, “Now you can look at the snow without getting cold,”
“That's so nice,” She bites down on the follow-up question of where the hell is Damian and what did you do with him.
“No, it’s bribery,” Ah there he is, “Don’t tell anyone I laughed,”
“So you admit you laughed,” Marinette smirks, letting Adrien go look at different stores.
“Besides,” Damian sharply changes the topic, “If you want to see the snow so badly just stay inside a cabin or something,”
“Well maybe you can come with me,” Marinette hums looking at the snowflakes fall over a winter forest, two little people by a campfire, “I bet it would be beautiful to paint,”
“Maybe so,” Damian agrees before giving her a side look, “Also you’re a horrible influence,”
“Who me? It’s not like I gave you the idea to run away,” He had come to her with that all on his own.
“No you didn’t,” Damian easily agrees, walking along with Marinette.
“Well if you’re still in the rebellion mood why don’t you join the pink hair squad?”
“I am not dying my hair pink,” Damian rolls his eyes.
“Just a little bit?” Marinette steps in front of him walking backward.
“No,” Damian brushes past her, Marinette lets him go ahead.
“Adrien I just had the best idea,” Marinette turns to her side where Adrien is not. Marinette looks behind her spotting Adrien in the crowd- getting picked up and carried away by a stranger! “ADRIEN!”
Damian hears her shout bolting forward. Grabbing a baton he apparently had the whole time. 
“Damian, watch out! They might have feelings!” Damian actually stops in his tracks, turning back to glare at her.
“...”
“...”
“Hey guys,” Adrien speaks up, “I’m kind of being kidnapped,”
“Right!” Marinette wipes the grin off her face, punching the kidnapper right on the jaw. He drops Adrien who lands on his feet, “Do I need a child leash for you young man?”
“Please don’t my Father had one of those for me,” Adrien brushes himself off as the kidnapped stumbles to the ground.
“Weren’t you never allowed out of the house?” Marinette asks as Damian steps forward to pull the kidnapper's arms behind their back.
“Exactly,”
“Not that this isn't riveting,” Damian says in the most bored tone, turning to the kidnapped, “Who hired you?”
“Garbeil Agreste sent me to fetch his son,”
“Yeah, here we call that kidnapping,” Adrien snarks back, “Great can’t the guy just leave me alone? What's his problem it’s like-”
“Nope!” Damian drops the kidnapper walking away, “Not today! Not again!”
“... well that's just rude,” Adrien huffs as someone calls the police.
“Don’t worry,” Marinette smiles, “As I was trying to tell you I have a plan,”
 ---
 “MARINETTE!”
“Hm wonder what that could be about,” Marinette flips the page, continuing to read peacefully while seated for breakfast with the rest of the Waynes.
“Dupain-Cheng I know you are responsible for this,” Damian leans over her, still in a towel and dripping wet, oh and with pink hair that bits kinda important.
“You did this to him?” Jason laughs, not so subtly taking pictures with glee.
“Relax it’s temporary dye,” Marinette grabs Damain’s shoulder before he can jump over the table and dismember Jason.
“How temporary?” Damian demands, Marinette just turns to a new page with no drips of water on it.
“Just wash it a few more times and it will come right out,” Damian huffs again stalking out of the room, all eyes on her.
“... I can’t believe you survived that,” Tim says with awe, “Actually even Damians not stupid enough to risk that,”
She’ll ask what he means later.
 ---
 “Temporary Dupain-cheng?” Damian glares at her, still very much pink and still very much angry.
“Alright maybe not,” Marinette tries to suppress a giggle, “It looks good tho,”
“Dupain-cheng you will fix this and you will fix this now,” She’s not lying he does look good and she does blush.
“Well, we could go to the hairdresser-”
“No,” Damian snaps, crossing his arms like it's final.
“Do you trust me to dye your hair myself?”
“Absolutely not,” at least not after this.
“Then you’re stuck like that,” Marinette shrugs, Damian groans sinking into the seat behind him.
“This is all your fault Dupain-cheng,”
“Ha, how long are you going to call me that?” Damian leans forward fixing her with a venomous glare.
“Forever,”
 ---
 “Hey Robin- are you wearing a swimming cap under your hood?” Ladybug cuts herself off trying to take off his hood.
“It’s a lightweight head protector,” Robin grabs her wrist, but Ladybug is stronger.
“Yeah no,” Ladybug pushes his hood off, “It’s a swimming cap, what is killer croc up to something?”
“You’re hilarious,” Robin scoffs looking away as if there isn’t a real smile tugging at his mouth.
“Well I can’t let Chat take all the glory,” Ladybug shrugs coming to sit next to him in what has become their usual spot, “So what's the deal? Gasp did you lose a dare?”
“Did you just say gasp?” Robin asks incredulously, “And no it’s not a dare it’s a rather unfortunate prank,”
“Oh please please tell me they did the same to Batman, Please,” Ladybug his holding both his shoulders, Robin completely turned towards her as she looks at him desperately.
“........ yes,”
 ---
 “Marinette,”
“Yes Bruc-” Marinette chokes then tries to choke down her laugh.
“I feel you may have gotten carried away, I would like to remind you-” 
“So sorry to interrupt,” Marinette interrupts, “But that wasn't me,”
“Are you sure?” Bruce is studying her.
“Yeah I only messed with Damian's  bathroom,” Marinette turns completely towards him, “Were you using Damian's bathroom?”
“No,”
“Then it wasn't me,” Marinette shrugs turning away.
“Then who did it?”
“A true mystery,”
 ---
 “So you’re sure you want me to do this,” Marinette asks again, the dye in one hand Damian sitting in front of her.
“Dupain-Cheng I swear-”
“Ah, if I help you, you have to stop calling me that,” She tells him, pulling the black dye away for extra effect.
“I only call you that because of what you did,” Damian glares at her reflection in the mirror, “If you want to get back in my good graces then do this,”
“Alright, you’re sure you don’t want to keep a little pink?”
“Marinette,”
“Alright, alright,” Marinette ruffles his hair while she can get away with it, “I did like your pink hair,”
“It got in the way of...” He trails off.
“Way of what?”
“Nothing,” Marinette drops it, the topic not the dye.
“Well Damian,” She spreads the dye through his hair, “Welcome to your first step of rebellion,”
Little did either realize how true that was.
--------
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danny-chase · 3 years
Text
Dick Grayson Week Day 4
Prompt: Bruce hits Dick and doesn’t get away with it
Summary/Notes:
A Spyral fixit where the family finds out about Nightwing 30. Perspectives are from Tim and Jason, but Steph, Cass, and Damian make an appearance. Quotes taken from Forever Evil 7 and 8, and Nightwing 30. Tw for swearing, angst and domestic/child abuse (because canon is terrible and I can’t leave it the way it is).
Edit: I have an AO3 account now yay! Read here
“I’ll be right back.” Tim chirped as he left to pull some files out of his room. He could feel his friends’ gazes lingering on him as he left. He had to suppress an eye roll. He was fine. Your pseudo-dad/adopted-father-before-you-emancipated-yourself loses his memory and suddenly everyone thinks there’s something wrong with you. Figures. Bruce was happier this way. And maybe, one day, he’d be able to get to know him again. Maybe not as sorta-father and son. But Bruce 2.0 liked volunteering with kids, running charity events. Maybe they could be business partners, or coworkers. It wasn’t like last time. But that didn’t mean Cassie, Bart and Kon weren’t worried. No matter how many times he tried to explain, they wouldn’t listen. It was better this way. Bruce was happier without them. Without him. It stung at first sure, but he was over it. He could handle it. Even if the knot in his stomach told him otherwise.
His fingers brushed the lines on the hallway as he strode through Titan’s Tower. The halls seemed so much smaller than they used to be. Logically, he knew they were the same size. But they weren’t the same walls as when he’d first visited. And those hadn’t even been the first wall either. “We’ve had to rebuild this place like at least a million times.” Dick had told him. The knot tightened. Don’t think about it, he reprimanded himself. He’d been having a nice afternoon. It was relaxing, staying with his friends. But he couldn’t walk through the halls without feeling like a trespasser. This was Dick’s team. This was his home away from home. Who was he kidding? He was no Dick Grayson. Dick’s friends used to look to him for guidance, for advice, for help with problems, personal and business related. Tim used to look to him for guidance, advice and help. Stop thinking about him, he tried again. Forget the Crime Syndicate. Forget the funeral. Don’t stress, repress. He paused for a moment, stared aimlessly out the window, took a few deep breaths, cleared his mind and continued on his way.
Climbing the stairs, he decided it was better to use his mental faculties to go through the case he was working on. Jason had called two days ago asking about some of his old informants in Gotham, Penguin was apparently moving back onto the scene and reorganizing the structure of some of the newer gangs. Cleaning house. Informants were switching names, following their own protocols. Bruce had written some contingency in a classified file somewhere. The issue was where. The damn batcomputer had like a billion files on it. And Barbara knew the system, but was busy coordinating for the JLA and had put them on “Do not Disturb” mode for the foreseeable future. He could write a program to search for it. Stupid Bruce and his stupid files that he’d kept secret from them. “It was on a need to know basis.” He could almost here the defensiveness in Bruce’s voice if he tried hard enough. He nearly face planted as he miscalculated the number of stairs. Maybe they should just go back to their old Young Justice base. Or wait till the building inevitably explodes again and just make it better. That would be fun. Designing a Teen Titans base with slides and escalators. Bart would be thrilled. Bart could probably build it in 5 minutes. Dick wouldn’t approve, his brain felt the need to remind him. Tim nearly huffed. Well Dick is de-.
He abruptly lost his train of thought. There was noise coming from his room. Someone was sniffing, was someone crying in his room? Who was even in his room? Everyone was downstairs. Cissie and Steph were visiting in the lounge, Greta left a few days ago, the new kids were in the gym getting a feel for the equipment. The hell? His heart pounded a bit louder as he silently slunk towards his rooms. If Dick decided to haunt him from beyond the grave this was not cool. The lights flickered. Tim nearly screamed. He could feel cold sweat gathering in his palms, his heart racing, thoughts pounding in his skull. It’s just one of Bart’s pranks, no one can get in without access. He slid next to his door and pulled up the camera feed on his glove’s embedded computer. They weren’t in lockdown, but it couldn’t hurt to check. Few clicks here, few taps there and…Damian? Tim burst through the door, half relieved and fully confused.
“What are you doing here?” Tim half yelled, Damian startling on the bed as he burst into his room. Tim flicked the lights on as the gremlin crossed his arms in response. Tim shut the soundproof door, no need to bother Kon with this.
“I was given access to the tower as well.” He stated monotonously. Tim frowned; something was off. Damian didn’t just show up in his room. Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen the kid in weeks. Not since Bruce went all amnesiac on them. Where was he even staying. Damian shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. There were dark circles under his eyes, he was paler than usual, but flushed, his eyes bright. Had he been crying in here? “Quit gawking at me, Drake.” He spat, jolting Tim back into reality.
He almost opened his mouth to throw some insult back. Almost. He saw the kid’s lip tremble just so slightly, and he bit his tongue. The kid’s hands were shaking. “What’s up?” He replied cautiously. Keeping the demon brat in line wasn’t in his job description. But the kid had had a rough couple months. Dying, coming back to Dick being dead, Bruce losing his memory. He could help with whatever this was and-
“Grayson is alive.”
-send the kid back to Alfred, he knew the kid better than he did. He had his pets at the manor to keep him company, maybe he’d see if Jon would be willing to have a sleepover or something. Spring break was coming up soon, maybe he could take a trip out to Kansas-
“Drake!” Damian was waving a hand in front of his face. Tim blinked a few times. He hadn’t said…had he? That wasn’t right Dick was-
“Richard is alive, I can prove it.” There was desperation in the kid’s voice, water in his eyes. The trash can was filled with tissues, it had been empty when he left. His shirt was on inside out. Tim inhaled sharply. Fuck. Tim had been there. He’d done that. Denied reality. Gone on a wild fairy tale goose chase. Chased insane dreams. Sure, it had worked. But this was different. They had a body. We had a body then, his mind helpfully supplied. There was no real evidence. It had worked hadn’t it? Denying Bruce’s death out of reality? But Dick couldn’t be alive. Bruce had seen him die. Clark saw Bruce die, his brain again helpfully supplied. Tim studied Damian’s face carefully. He looked two steps away from a mental breakdown. Was that how I looked? He wasn’t exactly looking in any mirrors at the time. Dick had try to talk him back down, that was the wrong move. He’d doubled down. But Damian wasn’t him and Tim had no idea what to do. Damian stared at him, studying his face carefully. Tim could feel his palms sweating again, when had he started clenching his fists? His brain was ticking through options, tell Damian he believed him – high chance of heartbreak, low chance of kid running off and doing something stupid on his own. Try and talk him down – still some heartbreak, but can mitigate, medium to high chance of him running off. Call Alfred – should he really do that though? The kid came to him. Alfred’s busy dealing with amnesiac Bruce. Call someone else? Why did the kid come to him in the first place? Damian hated him, he wouldn’t come to him unless he was really sure, or really desperate. Does he think I can replicate what happened with Bruce? Time seemed to move like molasses. Tim swallowed. Now or never.
“I believe you.” He replied. Damian’s eyebrows furrowed, but his shoulders fell ever so slightly, and he rocked back on his heels, uncrossing his arms and leaning into a less defensive stance. Mixed results. He prayed he sounded convincing enough. If he was going this route, he had to go all the way. It didn’t matter that he’d seen the body. It didn’t matter that Bruce saw. He needed to be on Damian’s side with this one. Just like he’d needed somebody on his side back then. Even if it was a crazy side. Even if it was a leave everyone behind and run around on a whim side. Even if it doesn’t work out, at least the kid would have someone to catch him at the end. Why did it have to be the brat though?
“You do not. But you will.” Damian said solemnly, a bit of an edge to his voice. He pulled a laptop out of a bag on the floor and hopped up on the foot of Tim’s bed. Tim quietly settled next to him, careful to not touch him. He was careful. The kid didn’t appear to be looking for a fight, but you never know. Tim glanced at the laptop screen.
“DAMIAN NO WHAT THE-” He screamed. Damian nearly leapt of the bed. His face turned red.
“-tt- Grow up Drake, this is for research purposes only, that is not-” He started mumbling.
“You’re on DICK GRAYSON THIRST POST WEBSITES for RESEARCH!” Tim half screamed, attempting to lower his voice. Damian flushed harder.
“SHUT UP DRAKE!” He countered. Tim took deep breaths. Dear god, he needed to bleach his eyes after this. He did not need to know these threads existed. Fucking reddit. Humanity has gone too far. There were 20k followers. He peeked over again, the latest posts were from this morning. His mouth was dry. These people were lusting over his dead brother. It was sick, it was fucking disgusting it was-
“Wait what’s that picture?” Tim asked.
“-tt- If you would allow me to explain instead of losing your head, I can show you.” Damian grumbled. He clicked on the picture to enlarge it. “I’ve run the calculations, biometrically, the body shape is a 99.97% match.” Tim let out a low whistle. It wasn’t much to go on. You couldn’t see the figure’s face, he was turned away from the camera. Whoever took it was definitely aiming for a certain portion of the man’s body.
“Have you talked to the poster?” Tim inquired. Damian nodded.
“This subreddit is dedicated to…” Damian made a revolted looking face, “capturing casual images of Grayson in unsavory positions.” He nearly squirmed as he finished the sentence. “I was attempting to research the details of Grayson’s perceived passing and came across this website.” That was a different kind of trauma in Tim’s opinion. “The image caught my eye. He has fans in Ireland, that is where it was taken. These fans are apparently experts at picking him out.” Damian scrolled through some earlier posts to prove his point. “It is odd.” He added pointedly. Tim’s mind was racing. It was hardly evidence. It could have been anyone. But he was right. The perverts were good. They even had a few of Dick in disguise doing undercover work, none of his face of course. But Dick couldn’t be in Ireland. Tim went to the funeral. Bruce went to the funeral. Bruce saw Dick die. Bruce wouldn’t lie about something like that. He never told you about the Joker. His mind supplied. No. Bruce wouldn’t. Bruce couldn’t. He wouldn’t put them through that grief. Not after Damian. Not after all the lies. He promised he wouldn’t lie to them like that. The picture couldn’t be real. But Damian kept scrolling. There were more. In multiple countries. It couldn’t be possible. There was no way. People joked his brother’s butt was iconic but this was ridiculous.
“Drake?” Damian sounded so cautious. Tim was confused. The pictures all looked so real. So accurate. Could they be photoshopped? That could explain it.
“Did you get any of the original files?” He asked much too hastily to appear calm. A smile flicked on Damian’s face for a millisecond.
“You believe me.” Damian stated, half disbelievingly. Tim bit his lip. He didn’t want to. He couldn’t. If he did, then he didn’t believe Bruce. Damian cleared his throat. “I have already examined a few of the original photographs. Their phones were laughably easy to hack.” He looked smug for a mentally unhinged eleven-year-old. “They do not appear to be tampered with.” Tim could feel his heart thudding in his chest. Dick couldn’t be alive. It wasn’t possible. He saw the body. Bruce was in the cave for a week going over it. Not allowing anyone in. No… Fuck…
“What did you do?” He muttered under his breath. Damian looked at him inquisitively, a determination burning in his eyes. Tim hadn’t seen any of the proof himself. And he believed Bruce unquestioningly. That was the opposite of what the man had taught him. But there was still something off. He looked searchingly at Damian. “Dick wouldn’t do that to us.” He couldn’t. Dick would never do something like that. He would tell them. He wasn’t like Bruce, he was reliable. Dick didn’t keep secrets like that. He wouldn’t fake his own death and leave them to fend for themselves. Not after Damian died. After everything they’d lost, after everything he’d lost. Dick wouldn’t do that to him. Damian’s eyes flickered toward the ground, and he frowned.
“Maybe he can’t tell us.” Is all he had to offer. It seemed like a sore spot. Tim didn’t push it. It was probably driving the kid insane. Dick, galivanting across the world, not checking in, not coming back to tell them he was okay? The odds were astronomically low. Dick was a constant. He was their brother. He was a Robin. Robins don’t do that to each other. Steph did, his brain helpfully supplied. But that wasn’t Steph’s fault. Tim dug his nails into his palms. He needed to know. He needed proof. He needed to see the footage, go over the evidence. He didn’t doubt Dick, but his mind was itching. He wouldn’t be able to sleep unless he knew for sure. Hell, Damian probably couldn’t either.
“Look, here’s the plan.” Tim said, his mind racing. Damian stared at him intently. Wow the kid really was desperate if he was willing to listen to him. “I’ll tell Kon I’m taking you home, that you need some help on a case, then will slip out. Maybe, maybe someone close to the family is compromised.” He said, a bit unsure. That could explain the lie. If there was one. Please let there be one. Damian nodded, stuffing his laptop back into his backpack. Tim crossed the room and grabbed the door handle.
A barely audible “Thanks.” reached his ears as he flipped off the lights.
  Jason groaned as he checked his messages. He really didn’t want to go through the batcomputer files. It would be faster if Tim did it, plus he had a lower chance of accidentally messing something up. Not that the file system wasn’t already a disaster. Touch the wrong button and you’re locked in the cave till Alfred realizes something’s wrong.
Tim had stopped responding to his messages two days ago, and well, he couldn’t wait any longer. And so, he found himself zipping through the tunnel systems that led into the cave. It was better to avoid the manner if possible. Happy Bruce wasn’t high on the list of people he wanted to see. That dude was fucking weird. It made him feel weird. It did feel good to cross amnesia off his yearly family bingo though. Now he just needed someone to trip during an interview and he’d break Cass’s winning streak. At the rate they were checking things off, maybe he should start a second batch and make it biannual. That or change the prompts. They were getting predictable.
He rolled to a stop inside the cave, and nearly rolled his eyes seeing the mess of skid marks on the floor. Seriously, tires are expensive, why his siblings couldn’t park like normal human beings was beyond him.
Someone was clacking away on the upper platform. Oh, thank God Tim was probably here, figuring it out before he could mess everything up. Cass poked her head over the railing, Jason cocked an eyebrow at her as he removed his helmet. She grinned and jumped over it, catching the fireman’s pole and sliding down. Someone was going to break an ankle doing that, could he add that to the bingo cards? Stupid non-work related injury was already on there, maybe upgrading it to stupid broken bone would suffice. Dick broke his nose outside Denny’s at 3am last year during a post mission party. Hands down one of the best nights of Jason’s life. Too bad his family members decided to die at least once a year.
“I’m about to win bingo.” Cass whispered as she brushed past his shoulder. That jolted Jason out of his bittersweet thoughts.
“Bullshit.” He growled back, bingo was his this year. She smugly wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
“Sorry brother.” She said sweetly, leaning her head into his shoulder. She let out a long sigh. And then Jason finally remembered that it most the squares weren’t exactly fun.
“Wait, the fuck’s going on?” Fuck, he really didn’t want to deal with this right now. Nobody could have died Dick checked that off, amnesia was gone, Gotham destroyed was gone, natural disaster was checked, Joker breaks out and does dramatic shit was gone too. But that wasn’t a good sigh, that was a ‘I’m so tired of this family sigh’, which could narrow it down a bit. Cass squeezed his shoulder.
“Family secrets.” She admitted, giving him a melancholy look. Jason groaned. This family was the fucking worst. Bruce wasn’t even really part of it right now, who the hell was keeping secrets? Damian. Had to be Damian. Little monster was just like his dad. Fuck. Dick taught the kid better than that. What kind of mess was he in?
Cass took him by the wrist and started dragging him towards the stairs. He resisted briefly as they got to the base. He needed to know. “Who’s is it?” He asked, planting his feet on the ground.
Cass bit her lip, looking extremely uncomfortable. Jason pulled back his arms and crossed them, keeping his expression as neutral as he could, but she could probably read his mood anyways.
“HA. HAHAHA HA. FUCK YOU BRUCE! TAKE THAT SHIT-COMPUTER!”
Jason nearly jumped out of his skin at Tim’s screeching from upstairs, Cass was running up the stairs, not waiting to see if he was coming. Jason sighed. It was going to be on of those days. He took a deep breath and headed up behind her.
Tim was doing a victory dance in front of the computer. Damian was crawling out from under the computer, a shit eating grin on his face. They both looked (and smelled) a mess. Definitely neither had showered in a few days, probably hadn’t slept either.
“Todd, you are just in time to witness our victory over father.” Damian greeted, formal as ever. The brat didn’t even through an insult in there. Must be in a good mood. Well that at least explained who was keeping secrets. Stupid Bruce, keeping secrets even while an amnesiac. Screw him.
“Shall we?” Tim asked, offering a hand to Damian, which shockingly the kid took. The fuck did he miss?!?
“Uh, what the fuck?” He managed to get out. There was cowl footage pulled up on the screen. Cass was pulling chairs over from the table. He tiredly took the seat she offered him.
“Waaaaiiiiiit I have popcorn!” Steph called, pounding down the stairs.
“Steph no!” Tim moaned. “This isn’t a joke!”
“What’s family drama without popcorn?” Steph sung back. Damian huffed. Cass snickered. Jason had to smirk to himself. Dark humor was the best coping mechanism in this family. “Besides you haven’t told us what this is!” She accused. Well at least Jason wasn’t the only one who didn’t know. Tim shifted guilty at the computer, his eyes darting from Damian and then back to the group. Damian responded by huffing and crossing his arms.
“Drake did not ‘want to get your hopes up’.” He began, mimicking Tim’s voice perfectly, “-tt-His concern is unfounded, my research has been impeccable, Gr-” Tim shoved a hand over Damian’s mouth. Damian looked downright murderous.
“Look we want to watch the footage beforehand it might be-” Tim squawked as Cass lunged off the table, hopped over his shoulders and hit play on the batcomputer. “Cass wait!” He got out as the video began to play. Steph grabbed Tim from behind and dragged him into a seat.
The screen showed footage from a first-person perspective, they were walking through a doorway into a large room.
“I’m tired of secrets.” Muttered Cass as she slipped in a chair next to Steph. Damian staid standing, glaring intensely at the screen, looking strangely anguished.
“Hey, kid you can…” The invitation died in his throat. The camera moved forward into the room, revealing a beaten Dick Grayson in the center, hooked to countless machines, suspended in a metal cocoon, only his face and chest peeking out.
“Oh my God.” Came a familiar voice from the screen. A growl reverberated in the cave.
“Well Batman…” Luthor materialized on the right, “…You’ve found Nightwing.” He said, stalking forward.
Something clattered on the floor. The camera was rushing forward. Voices from the cave mixed with voices on the screen.
“Why would you want to watch this!?” shrieked Steph.
“Dick? Everything’s going to be all right. I’m here.” Bruce’s gruff voice sounded oddly strained.
“Shut up Brown!” Came Damian in a high-pitched voice.
“He never showed us the evidence.” Tim’s voice squeaked. “We have to watch till the end?”
“I’m sorry I shut you out. All of you. I didn’t want you getting hurt…I’m going to get you out of this.” Came Bruce’s shaking voice. Jason could feel a lump growing in his throat. He didn’t want to see this.
“Fast-forward?” Cass suggested, her voice equally shaken. Jason could barely see the others in the cave, his eyes were glued to the screen.
“No…You need to…leave.” Came Dick’s horse whisper of a voice. “You need to go…”
Damian made an inhuman noise, which allowed Jason to tear his eyes off the screen.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Muttered Tim. “We can’t fast-forward we need to know what happened.” He forced a sense of determination into his voice. “This is why I didn’t-”
THOOM. The sound rumbled through the cave. Jason jumped out of his seat. The camera whipped around revealing the exit sealed off, with Luthor, Selina, and Bizzarro trapped inside.
“-you guys can still leave.” Tim said shakily.
BA-DEEP. Blared through the speakers. BA-DEEP.
“What is that?” Came Selina’s voice, her usual smooth and silky persona dropped. BA-DEEP.
“It’s a countdown. This isn’t just a fancy pair of handcuffs, Catwoman. It’s a bomb.” Came Lex’s gruff voice. The camera turned again showing a timer counting down from 5 minutes. Jason’s stomach painfully twisted at the reminder of another countdown in another sealed building.
“We’re staying.” He managed to get out. He might have heard noises of affirmation.
WHAM. “The door. The walls. Why can’t we break through them?” Came Luthor’s voice.
“This cell was designed to hold Doomsday, Luthor.” Came Bruce’s voice again. The camera showed him messing with the panel. BA-DEEP.
“Is the countdown monitoring his heart?” Selina asked from seemingly far away.
“Yes.” Boomed Bruce’s voice. BA-DEEP.
“Why?” Replied Selina.
“The detonator is hooked into it.” Bruce responded. Jason’s heart sunk. “He died in a death trap. There was no way out.” Bruce had told him before the funeral. BA-DEEP.
“Batman…The bomb…” Dick whispered. BA-DEEP. Jason spared another glance at Damian. There were tears beginning to form in his eyes, but he stared, glued to the screen all the same. “…It only disams…If my heart stops.” Jason could feel his chest tightening painfully. “I die…or we all die.” BA-DEEP.
“Maybe Bruce had a reason for not showing this to us.” Steph said shakily. Jason glanced over. She looked green. Her sleave and eyes were both wet. The sounds of the heart monitor echoed in the cave.
BA-DEEP. “Please…Listen to me…” Dick’s horse voice started again. Tim was muttering frantically to himself. “You still have time to get yourself out of here.” The camera was so close. Jason could see every cut on his brother’s face, could see the sweat on his brow, the blood trickling down from his nose.
BA-DEEP. “I am not leaving you, Dick. I am not abandoning you.” Bruce sounded much more confident that Jason felt. Too bad Bruce didn’t sound confident.
“You aren’t Bruce. And you never have.” Dick replied. Jason’s vision was blurring. All he wanted was some stupid computer files. He didn’t come to the cave to watch this.
BA-DEEP. “The only way we’re getting out of here is together…No…The wires…” Jason dug his fingernails into his palms. “…Every time I disconnect a relay, it fixes itself.” Jason bit his lip.
BA-DEEP. At some point those in the caves had gone silent. “Then there’s only one way to disarm this bomb, Batman.” Came Luthor’s voice. The video jolted violently and Bruce’s cry reverberated through the cave. Chaos erupted on the screen. A cacophony associated with their customary brand of violence echoed through the speakers, obscuring some of the voices.
BA-DEEP. “I’m saving our lives.” Jason made out. The screen was black. Jason glanced around the room. Everyone was tense. Damian was crying. Tim looked horrified. Cass was perfectly still, her expression blank. Steph looked one step away from throwing up in the empty popcorn bowl that lie on the ground at her feet.
BA-DEEP. The camera was moving again. “LUTHOR.” Boomed Bruce’s voice again. Jason caught a glimpse of the man pressing a hand over Dick’s face. “LUTHOR, YOU HURT HIM AND I WILL KILL YOU.” Cass let out the faintest gasp. Bruce wasn’t lying. How the hell was Luthor still alive? The heart monitor was stuttering. BA-DEEEEEP
“Nonononononononononono.” Came Tim’s voice. “It wasn’t supposed to-”
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
“DICK.” Screamed Bruce. The camera rushed forward.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
“NO!” Yelled Bruce and Tim at the same time. Damian had sunk to the floor.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
A fist kept pounding Luthor in the face relentlessly. “Batman, wait-” Luthor pleaded. This was not how Jason had wanted Bruce to break his code.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
“YOU MURDERER!” Screeched Bruce, righteous fury echoing in his voice. The heart monitor cut off. A hand reached down to cut off Luthor’s windpipe.
“I have this…” Came Luthor’s strangled voice. He looked terrified. “Under control…Grayson…” The hand squeezed harder. “-kk-!” The man chocked. Bruce lessened up slightly. “It’s not too late, you idiot.” Spat Luthor. Bruce was apparently passed the point of listening.
“YOU MURDERED NIGHTWING.” He growled, tightening his grip once more. Luthor was going bug eyed. The man was going to actually die if Bruce pushed it much harded.
“Batman-” Came Selina’s voice.
“Luthor killed Dick, Selina.” Bruce said, his voice strangled.
“You said this lightning rod was from the future! Maybe we can use it to save him or something? I don’t know-!” She cried desperately.
A flash of light and crackle of electricity resounded through the cave. The screen went black for a moment.
Jason could hear metal clinking on the floor.
“Why are we still watching this?” Jason asked hoarsely. Tim looked at him palely.
“I need to know what happened next.” He whispered.
“If I hadn’t stopped Grayson’s heart, this ‘Murder Machine’ would have detonated and we all would have died. I had to make a choice, Batman. I made him flatline…after I forced him to swallow a cardioplegia pill.” The camera slowly tilted back up to focus on Luthor.
“A what?” Asked Steph and Selina at the same time.
“A drug that paralyzes the cardiac muscles surrounding the heart.” Replied Tim and Bruce in sync.
“Then…” Trailed off Damian. The boy looked up hopefully at the screen.
“And if this boy’s heart doesn’t get a shot of adrenaline right this very second he’s going to stay dead.” Luthor finished.
*kaff*
That small cough was the best sound Jason had heard in his entire life.
“YES!” Shouted Tim.
Damian swallowed. “As I expected.” He said shakily. No one called him out on it.
“Dick?” Came Bruce’s voice from the screen.
“Batman?” Dick’s wobbly voice whispered.
Cass tackled Steph into a bear hug, and Steph laughed widely as they clattered to the floor. Jason just sighed deeply and let his head drop into his hands in relief.
“Drake-” gasped Damian, “-get off.”
“You were right! Damian was right! Dick’s alive. HAHA Dick’s ALIVE!” Jason glanced up to see Tim squeezing the crap out of Damian who was going slightly blue in the face. There were words coming from the speakers still but they fell to the wayside in the celebration. Jason walked over and turned the volume down.
“I’m going to kill them.” Jason muttered under his breath. But he’d save that for later, for now, he just paced back to his chair and sunk into it. The cave was quiet for a few minutes, Dick and Bruce continued on whatever the fuck adventure they were on was. The rest of the video was a blur. By the end, Jason’s racing heart had settled, and the kids had stopped clinging to each other.
“But wait.” Said Steph as the video ended. “If Dick’s alive, where is he? How did you even know to look?”
Jason turned to see Tim babbling. “Well I have a few theories, we recovered more footage as well, you know? Like Damian found pictures of him all across the world so like, we don’t know for certain where he is, but like I don’t know for sure what happened, but maybe someone was compromised so like, he had to stay hidden or like…” Tim continued babbling as the next video began to play. It was once again footage from the cowl. “Bruce shut off all the camera’s in the cave for the next week, I thought he was sulking but like we were able to find some cowl footage that he deleted, and like hopefully from that we can figure out what happened and how to track him down-”
“Turn up the volume.” Demanded Cass from her seat. She was looking at the screen with an odd expression. Damian moved without hesitation. Jason’s eyes followed up to the screen. Dick was glaring into the camera his fists raised and wrapped.
“So, one more time Dick. But now there’s only one rule…You have to win.” Came Bruce’s gruff voice. The pair was in the cave. Dick lunged towards the camera. “You let the crime syndicate capture you. Let them torture you. You let them give your secrets to the world.” Bruce accused.
“Bruce man, what the fuck!” Steph yelled, masking Dick’s response.
Bruce continued “You let them turn you into a bomb. You let them kill you. Before Luthor rescued you, you let everyone WATCH YOU DIE.” He boomed.
“YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!” Jason bellowed, knocking over his chair as he stood. He walked away from the screen. Only fucking Bruce. Only fucking Bruce would blame someone for their death. Jason knew that all too well. He walked away from the screen, giving himself distance to clear his head.”
“I trained you to LIVE, and I watched you DIE!” CRACK. Jason flipped around to see Bruce elbow Dick in the face, drawing blood. Bruce’s words cut like a knife. It wasn’t Jason’s fault he died. It wasn’t Dick’s fault either. Neither Steph’s or Damian’s. Damian had unconsciously taken cover behind Tim, who was standing between Damian and the screen with an arm hovering over the kid’s shoulder.
“WHAT THE FUCK BRUCE!” Screamed Steph at the screen, she was also on her feet at this point. Only Cass’s hand prevented her from trying to fight the digital apparition. “WE DON’T JUST GO AROUND DYING WILLY NILLY, IT’S NOT MY-, IT’S NOT HIS FAULT!” Her voice shrilly echoed around the cave, drowning out the audio temporarily.
Dick was on his knees, wiping his bloody nose, looking up confused. WHACK. A powerful kick sent him flying off the platform, crashing into a costume display case. “I have a mission for you, Dick. I need you to do something that will hurt your friends. Your family.” Bruce commanded. He could hear Damian inhale sharply. Tim stopped hovering and pulled Damian tightly into his chest, rushing forward to pause the video, with the boy in tow. His hand was over the button before Cass sprung forward and grabbed his wrist. Jason had never seen Cass look this angry without the mask.
“I deserve to know.” She said with conviction, anger deep in her voice. “I deserve to know what kind of father he is.” She spat. Jason wasn’t going to touch that with a ten foot pole.
“But he shouldn’t, I mean I don’t know if, I mean I don’t know what, I mean-” Tim sputtered glancing from the screen to Damian and back again.
“I want to know the truth.” Came Damian’s tiny reply. He looked so young, he pushed away from Tim’s chest, but leaned into his side.
Cass pulled Tim’s hand back. “I fought him once.” She admitted. “I need to know.” She repeated.
Tim looked at her pleadingly. Bruce and Dick raged at each other on screen. Blood flowed from the cuts on Dick’s back. “I…I…” Tim stammered.
“We all deserve to know.” Steph piped up, leaning against the side of the computer.
“Fight like you’re alive!” Bruce yelled on the screen. CRACK. An oversized die broke on impact with the back of Dick’s head. Dick retaliated, throwing a question mark back.
The words were blurring in Jason’s head, his rage clouding his thoughts, and overtaking his senses. The rest of the world was disappearing, leaving only the screen behind. His vision tunneled. He crossed his arms as tightly as he could, willing himself to stay in place. Stay calm. His hearing cut out. But he could still read his name on his brother’s lips just before Bruce delivered an uppercut powerful enough to knock Dick off the dinosaur.
The next thing Jason knew Cass was sitting on him. People were yelling at him.
“-on’t break the screen-”
“-up I need to see-”
“-op fighting-”
Cass smiled apologetically before tapping a pressure point. Jason allowed himself to fade into the darkness.
 He came to in a medical bay of the cave, with an intense desire to get out. This place was cursed. He needed out, he needed to think, he needed to process, but he needed to get out. He pushed himself up and swung his legs off the bed.
“Wait.” Came a voice from behind him. He spun off the bed to see Tim, awkwardly standing on the other side of the cot. Jason edged towards the door. “We know where he is.” Tim offered. Jason glanced at Tim, and back to the door.
“Can we talk somewhere else?” He asked quietly. He didn’t want to be in the cave for this. Tim awkwardly bobbed side to side.
“Uh about that. We’re moving out.” He said quickly. Jason opened the door.
“OMGIT’SREDHOODHIMR.REDHOODSIRPLEASEDON’TKILLTIM-”
Jason slammed the door in the kid’s face. He stared at Tim, who was banging his head into the wall with a hand covering his eyes.
“Do I even want to know?” Jason asked. Tim groaned.
“I called my team to help us move out, we’re going to use the bunker for Gotham operations from now on.” Tim explained. A loud crash came from outside. The door whipped open.
“Heythegiantpennyisn’t-” The kid started. Jason growled at him. “-nevermindbyebye.” The speedster zipped away and slammed the door.
“You decided this without me?” Jason asked, raising an eyebrow at Tim. Tim looked back at him sheepishly.
“You’re already out voted. Besides you really want to stay here?” He replied evenly. Jason shrugged, that was fair. He’d already tried to leave. “I know you said you don’t want to talk here, but I don’t know when I’ll get you alone again.” Jason sighed. That’s valid, he was planning on avoiding the family for a bit. “Please don’t pull a disappearing act.” Jason looked up at him.
“Why not?” He challenged.
“We don’t need Bruce to be a family.” Tim replied. It sounded rehearsed. That was also fair. “And we need each other too. We found some communications from Dick, Bruce left him stranded when he got amnesia, he’s coming back in a few days.” Jason couldn’t look Tim in the eye anymore.
“I don’t know what to do.” He said honestly, looking at Tim’s shoes. What do you say after something like this? After watching something like that. After knowing the truth.
“Neither do we, but we’ll figure it out together.” Tim offered. He looked sad, tired, his face fell before he spoke again. “He…he misses us.” He spoke softly. “On the recordings. I, I don’t think Bruce even told him about Damian.” Jason swore softly under his breath. Bruce was one fucking piece of work.
“Is there anything else I should know?” Jason said after a moment, catching Tim’s eye once more.
Tim shook his head. “The rest of the tape was mostly the same.” He said quietly. “He won.” He added as an afterthought. Jason snorted. Tim gave a warry smile. None of them ever won. Not in the ways they wanted to. Only when the prizes were more pain, more guilt, more heartbreak.
Jason leaned back against the wall. How was this the way things ended up? Was Bruce always this cruel? The man was unrecognizable to Jason. It was inexcusable. After Willis? After Cain? After Brown? Hell, even Tim’s father was emotionally abusive before he died. Why couldn’t any of them have a normal father? A stable parental relationship. It wasn’t fair. And it hurt more because he didn’t even know where it started. Bruce had been a good father to him. Had that been a lie? He’d never looked to closely at why Dick had left home, could it be that…that…? Had Jason missed something like this? Would he ever even know what he’d missed? They didn’t have as many cameras back then.
Tim had crossed the room and put a hand on his shoulder. “He’ll be okay.” He said confidently. “As long as we have each other, we’ll all be okay.” Tim squeezed his shoulder gently before disappearing through the door into the chaos that used to be his childhood fantasy. When had it all gone so wrong, he had to ask himself. He hated that he knew the answer. His death was this fucking family’s original sin. But you know what, that wasn’t his fault. Even if it felt like it. Even if Bruce still blamed him. Dick didn’t look at him like a ghost, he didn’t look at him like a kid in over his head, like a regret, like a mistake. It was time for Bruce to grow the hell up and move on. Bad experiences don’t justify beating your kids. Maybe from here, they could move on. Maybe from here on, they could heal. Maybe they could start over. Maybe they could make their own new family. Bruce had abused them, lied to them, manipulated them enough. It was time to rise from the ashes like a phoenix and fly again. He wouldn’t know unless he tried. He didn’t have to give up on Gotham. But maybe it was time to give up on Bruce.
Jason swung open the door, descending into a future unknown, diverging from the circle of heartache and abuse. He had broken the cycle once before, on his own, with a new family made of friends, one of his choosing. And now he chose to break it once more, and this time he resolved not to leave his siblings behind.
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ectonurites · 3 years
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so i read the big long young just us kon vs yja conner post. (amazing analysis btw) but i have another question about your thoughts on superboy as a character. So in the dc animated universe (that's over now but whatever) there's the Reign of the Supermen movie, and in that one Kon learns that Lex is his dad very very very early on. And since you said that you think Conner learning about Lex early was the biggest thing that changed it, I was wondering if you have thoughts on DCAU Superboy?
awh thank you! i am so pleasantly surprised people actually read that 
[link if u are only seeing this post and want to read the other one]
BUT AH YES THAT BOI i very nearly included a section on this version of him in the other post but decided not to just because it was. already nearly 6k words. however im glad you asked this because I DO have thoughts on him (sorry no pictures this time just words):
My ultimate thought regarding him is: the Reign of the Supermen movie managed to create a Superboy that the Lex reveal wasn’t anywhere near as big a deal for, compared to his other versions. Which I personally think was really cool to see!
This reveal having a smaller impact allowed him to maintain what was basically his 90′s comic characterization even after it, instead of going deep into broody tt 2003 territory or being anything like cartoon yj Conner.
Though, that now raises the question of why it has such a lesser impact
In this setting, he already had an association with Luthor from basically the moment he’s in the movie. Here, he is LexCorp’s Superman, rather than him partnering with Tana’s news station like in the comic (because they chose to understandably omit Tana. Also, trying to adapt the actual role Lex had in the comic version of this whole event would be a mess especially because this was during that era where Lex had like... faked his death, was pretending to be his own illegitimate son, had long hair, and was dating Supergirl? it was very weird, and understandably a movie adaptation wouldn’t wanna touch any of that with a 10ft pole. In general the Reign of the Supemen movie changed SO MUCH from the original comic, but I think did a pretty good job of integrating a lot of the spirit of the story into something new. I haven’t rewatched it since reading the comic though, so I might be looking through memory-fogged rose-tinted glasses, but I plan on doing so soon and will prob talk about it). 
Anyways, even before the actual reveal that Lex was also one of his DNA dads, Lex is out here acting like he’s Conner’s stage dad and... is literally in charge of him. Thus, even though obviously Lex still isn’t a great guy in this universe, it has nowhere near the same impact as finding out ‘renowned supervillain, that I have seen heroes go up against time and time again, is my dad!’ It’s more like finding out ‘oh my weird controlling boss is actually my dad?’ Still weird, still a lot to deal with, and he still gets sulky for a bit after finding out, but it’s way less drastic.
Not sure if I’m going to be able to articulate this next point well, but there’s another thing I think that kinda factors into it too. In my other post I had talked specifically about how not only the timing of finding this out was relevant, but also how the level of confidence Kon had in who he was as a person at the time mattered. 
In the comics, when Superboy found out, he had been very confident in himself and been an established hero for years and thus learning this new information made him (to some extent at least) feel like his whole life had been a lie, and he now felt he was a danger because of how evil Lex is known to be. [Also of note: not only was he worried about hurting his team, but this happened after the point where he’d started living with the Kents. He had a lot of anxiety around thinking Clark wouldn’t trust him to live with his parents if he knew, and fear that he might hurt them.]
In the Young Justice cartoon, when Superboy found out, he had confidence in his abilities as I said before, but he still didn’t really know who he was. He still never got to experience trying to be Superman like he had expressed always wanting to, because he was brought into a world that already had a Superman. So this revelation is just adding onto a pile of confusion. [And I believe (I haven’t watched season one of yj in a while so this might not be correct) that at the point he finds out, Lex was already a known adversary of heroes & The Team themselves. So the fact that someone they were actively going up against had a connection to him (and was manipulating him through the patches) was a point of concern.]
Then we look at movie Superboy. He’s cocky and pretty confident in himself and his abilities, and was getting to shoot his shot at filling that Superman role right away, just like his comic counterpart. But he doesn’t go years believing a lie about himself, since he finds out about the Luthor connection so early. At the time of the reveal he also doesn’t have the same connections to other people (either the Teen Titans & The Kents like the comics or The Team in the cartoon), meaning he’s not going to angst over being a potential danger to all of them. 
Also... he finds it out while he’s still actively working under Lex. In the comics, he finds out from an email he and Tim get while they’re at Titans Tower. In the cartoon Lex baits him to meet somewhere alone to tell him, before demonstrating he has a code word that effects him. In the movie, Lex brings him down to the very lab he was cloned in while lecturing him, because he works for Lex, and the reveal happens because of one of the scientists. It’s just such a wildly different circumstance for the reveal to happen under, because movie Superboy doesn’t see Lex through the same “only exists to me as a villain” lens his comic & cartoon counterparts do.... he’s basically just his overbearing boss at the time. 
Like yes this is where the seams start to unravel, because Superboy then realizes ‘oh god Lex was bringing me down there to kill me then just decided against it’, but he’s going through an entirely different struggle with that than what his other counterparts had going on. Also by having this reveal happen in the middle of the movie like, before the final battle and everything, he doesn’t really have time to dwell on all of this. He’s gotta go stop Cyborg Superman with the others he doesn’t have time to go ‘angst angst angst’ about it for long!! 
This also means that by the time he met Superman, Superboy already knew about the Lex connection. In both the comics and the yj cartoon, Clark and Conner met and knew each other (not necessarily in a close way in the yj cartoon BUT regardless) before Conner found this out. Meaning it was something that he kept a secret from Clark for a period of time, as it ate away at him. But here, since he finds out before Clark is even active and alive again, it’s not something he ever needs to hide! Like he deadass tells Lois about it the first time he sees her after he found out. 
SO to summarize, the Lex reveal is way less drastic for this version of Conner because:
Superboy and Lex had a completely different dynamic at the time of the reveal than any other versions 
Superboy in this setting didn’t have as many connections to others/wasn’t on a team at the time he found out, meaning there were less people he’d be concerned about putting in danger
Superboy never felt the need to keep this a secret from anyone for any extended period of time 
Honestly I would have loved to see more things with this Superboy because it puts him in this unique position of having already faced this big challenge (dealing with Lex being a DNA dad) but not letting it bring him too deep into the angst, he’s not hiding it from anyone, he can just kinda... exist as himself! But noooo Apokolips War had to. Do that. that whole thing. 
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life-rewritten · 3 years
Text
THARNTYPE 7 YEARS; THE CHEATING DISAGREEMENT
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So I finally emerge out of the dark and show up to talk and discuss TharnType Episode 10. It was first, a traumatic episode for me, as in I was left feeling baffled, angry and disappointed, but I actually have rewatched it later, and I have my own opinion of this mess of a show. It might be a mess, but it's my mess, and I still love it very much, weird because anyone who saw episode 10 came out feeling outraged and I do get that, I do, I'm not going to pretend or defend what's wrong however TharnType has never been a show that has lied to us, it's always been about problematic flawed people in serious need of therapy, who end up falling in love and use love as their end all be all, their comfort, strength, and the thing that saves them. It's nice to think about a love that feels like your support and soulmate, someone to rely on, your everything, your loyal devoter, etc., it's nice to have that but if you're of a broken mindset where you have so many scars and trauma to deal with it brings a question of are you ready to be in a relationship, shouldn't you learn to be alone and happy first without anyone, shouldn't you be healthy before you do meet the one? I think this episode exposed these questions about TT because even after 7 years of love, they couldn't avoid the inevitable, they still had a lot of trauma, pain and insecurities to deal with before they can even be ready for marriage. In my opinion they really all need therapy even LeoFiat before they can stay with each other however TT has always been an escape to a fantasy about love stories, so we're going to deal with these issues pretty quickly; TT will get married, LeoFiat will stay together etc. And to be honest as much as in reality it makes me uncomfortable; no one should be going into this show for reality, advise or role models, you won't get that, what you'll get is a risky story about trauma, pain and love at the front of it all, and that's for you to decide if you can handle it, the dark parts, the defective parts and the questionable parts. I dealt with my own problems with it which I will be discussing but at the same time these problems have always been foreshadowed and told, no one should be surprised at any of the actions of this show, no one should be triggered into thinking people would think what they're doing is right (This show is meant to be 18+ I think, no sane adult would think what Type did to Fiat is correct). Still, I do understand both sides so here's my analysis on this episode, especially the cheating disagreement, who's right or who's wrong in this situation? Should Type be so angry? Should Tharn be so dramatic? Answer none of them is correct. Let's discuss it in detail. 
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TharnType: The Cheating Disagreement
Let's begin with Mr Tharn as usual. I remember in one of my first analysis, I mentioned that after 7 Years TharnType had become less toxic, more communicative, trying hard not to regress to their past immaturity and mistakes. And the thing is that that hasn't changed, from episode 2-9 TT have tried hard to grow and mature and be with each other, there were moments where they were tested like Type with his own regression and scars because of his boss and with Tharn we could tell something was looming with the marriage disagreement. And that's the thing with TT, they were in love, healthy, and happy, but the thing is; in TT 7 Years the show is about them having to face and deal with their internal scars. 
Take Type, for example, he's had to the whole season to face barriers and blockages of his reasons for marriage, dealing with his past fears, his homophobic past and worries about reputation and more all connected to season 1 from his past, he had to face it head-on because he had a boss that forced him to deal with it, as he came through it and had to be without Tharn, he discovered that he wanted to be with Tharn all the time, couldn't live without him etc., And so he was ready to now cross the line and accept the proposal, for him it didn't matter about the checklist anymore because he wanted to be with Tharn no matter what. That was his lesson. 
Meanwhile, Tharn was quiet yet loud, perfect yet full of holes, he was calm but something was brooding, the marriage disagreement showed that in his head he was scared, possessive and wanted Type to be his forever. His issue was always buried, almost forgotten but always there the scar of Lhong, Tar, San, Type and others. People forget that Tharn still had a mindset somewhere, where he was the one who was the most devoted and obsessed with Type, because of how they started; he stayed in the thought that he couldn't lose Type, so he never dealt with his own issues, he didn't deal with what happens when his fears come through (by Fiat, who's playing the role of being forceful like Type's boss), what happens when he and Type reach an impasse of miscommunication, and he loses Type, what happens when he hears that word again break up. It drove him back in episode 10 to his most significant, scariest and traumatised moments, he was not okay, but it had to come out before he and Type fully devoted themselves to each other. For 7 Years Tharn was not fully healed just like Type, Tharn was still insecure about Type's love for him, the instability of their relationship (will explain why he had every right to be) and more. Tharn had to deal with it when he saw Fiat kiss Type; it wasn't meant to be easy, it was something bubbling in him since episode 1 when Type refused the marriage proposal. Let's look deeper into Tharn's mindset.
There's a lot to unpack, so for the first time my essays may not follow linearly but bare with me I have a lot to analyse with this episode so it may be a bit all over the place. First of all, let's flashback to the past a similar situation to this one, before that remember Tharn asks Type in anger, "how would you have felt if it was me in that position". And the thing is we know how he would have felt we've seen it happen before; San.
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The problem with San VS The problem with Fiat
In season 1 of TT, after TT gets together and Type refuses to cross the line with their relationship, defining the relationship, San shows up and starts to make Type jealous and angry. Type warns Tharn to stay away from San, they even fight about the breakup situation and Tharn tells Type; "I don't like that word it triggers me", okay not in those words but like that. Type and Tharn makeup, Type tells Tharn; don't do anything with San, that will make me angry. Listen carefully to how this scene unfolds:
Cut to Type excited to cook Tharn's dish as they just made up, he proceeds to walk out.
He sees San pull Tharn in a kiss.
Tharn pushes away.
Type runs and punches Tharn not San for cheating.
Reasons why Type beats and deals with Tharn, not San: 
One, San was at their home (he wasn't meant to let San have any opportunities to be close to him anymore knowing what he's up to). 
Tharn let San get in the position to kiss him (he shouldn't have been that vulnerable he should have been suspicious and worried).
 They've discussed about it before; for them cheating is not something that would break them up thbut they'd face it head-on with each other before letting the other go.  I know, right? We also see this confirmation later when in pettiness and anger Type makes Tharn jealous in the club, Tharn proceed to show his possessive nature (which is a flaw hence it's not a surprise to his reaction at this scene with Fiat) and Type warns him that he shouldn't cheat, Type won't cheat; no one is going to break up, but there will be issues and problems with it. Alright stay with me 
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THE MINDSET OF THARN
Let's go back to episode 10. Tharn has just again wanted to surprise Type (like Type wanted to with Tharn in season 1), proceeds to drive to work sees Fiat kiss Type (someone he already had doubts about will explain more) and his mind shuts down, and he proceeds to go to Type and blame him for being in the position. He believes the only explanation (since his head is unclear) is Type cheated on him. Let's pause.
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A Mind Full of Doubt and Anger
 First of all, Tharn was already on the way to Type to inquire about Fiat. We just didn't see it, bare with me, Fiat uploaded the picture of him getting drunk with Type and Tharn confirmed with PJeed in a previous episode that Type was out in the same bar drinking with someone. Tharn already had worries we just didn't see it. When Tharn returned home, and he set the table for the marriage proposal (I think he was going to wait for Type to come home and then propose) he saw Fiat's pen, and that's what got him to drive over to the hospital to check on Type. He was already driving there in doubt and rage and possessiveness; his mind blanked once he saw the final straw; Fiat's kiss. Okay back to the mirroring with the San problem, just like the same reason Type punched Tharn not San in season 1, Tharn took it out on Type. 
Fiat had been in their home (they don't let anyone apart from Techno and friends in their home when they're together, they mention it, Type also gets anxious about Fiat finding him because he and Tharn don't let strangers in knowing they get jealous and also are protective, so people like Fiat don't get in), without an explanation. Fiat is Type's patient he shouldn't be there; it's a weird relationship, there should be no reason whatsoever for his pen to be at their house (also Type confirms he was there when his face shifts and he remembers what happened and Tharn notices that shift/guilt). Two, Fiat being at their home means Type let him in, means Type was comfortable with him (Type isn't comfortable with anyone in their home apart from Techno) to invite him in. Again it's an odd relationship for a patient and a doctor to have.
Fiat and Type had gone to the bar to drink. This is reason 2, letting your self in opportunities with someone you know has feelings for you or having a clue, hang around you. Being vulnerable enough to be in that position. This is hardest one Tharn has to believe because Type isn't someone easily vulnerable with people, one he has trauma about letting himself be that way, being so drunk he has no conscious, two he made it difficult for Tharn to break down his walls when they started and he doesn't actually open up to Tharn without Tharn forcing his way to the truth (we see this repeatedly this season), so why on earth would Type be with not his friends, with no one but Fiat, drunk and in a bar alone? It just doesn't add up when Type knows to avoid situations like this. Just like Type punched Tharn for giving San the opportunity to kiss him despite knowing his intentions, Tharn also got mad at Type for the same reason.
There was an actual kiss. Type actually let himself be in the position to be kissed by Fiat; despite both he and Tharn knowing they don't like cheating or scandals to do with it. Type is shocked Tharn thinks he will cheat,  but really the thing is Tharn was already holding onto so much anger and doubt that when he saw the kiss, he didn't know what to think. And just like Type, he lashed out, it didn't mean he thought the relationship would break in fact he warns Fiat to stay away. Otherwise, he'd hurt him so he can go shout and lash out at Type, Type apologises, and they get back together. For TharnType cheating does not lead to break up, just a break down in communication which needs to be fixed. Unfortunately, Tharn's accusations hurt Type's pride and made him worry about how Tharn views him so he couldn't quickly settle he had to suggest the dreaded word they already fought about, something he knows triggers Tharn because they fought about it because of San, Type suggests a break and refuses to speak to Tharn after until he deals with Fiat. Like how dumb and inconsiderate can you be? Sorry both their actions give me stress, but Type, Type's activities made no sense to me despite the fact I will also break down his mindset soon.
So Tharn ends up broken being afraid to be loved, head shut down and filled with doubts and fears about their relationship because it's his turn to regress, it's his turn to become his worst version of himself. Type did that with the boss, but Tharn had to do that because of Fiat. So we see him alone, wandering aimlessly, drinking himself to tears because he's triggered by the fear that Type would end their relationship. Is it healthy? No, their dependency in this episode really became toxic and that's why I say okay this show has a great love base but really the love stories as beautiful and desirable as they are when happy, it's also toxic because they're too dependant on each other for my liking. 
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A Tired and Exhausted Mind
Now the San vs Fiat issue isn't the only clues Mame left this episode to make you truly understand that Tharn wasn't being overdramatic, he was psychologically broken. He was dealing with it in the way he knows how; to think he's undeserving of love etc. But another clue left is dialogue as with this show. When Tharn firsts blame Type on the cheating, he lets him know what's in his head about the situation, three quotes
"I thought you were sick." "I thought you needed me." "I rushed back from work tired and exhausted to get to you to see you doing this" 
Now at first, you'll question why does this explain why Tharn struggles to accept the cheating dilemma as just a fluke. Well, here's why.
 I thought you were sick:
First of all remember the reason why Tharn was rushing over in the car is because he started to question or have doubts about Fiat and Type, he'd seen Fiat before at the mall in episode 4, he'd seen the pictures and also probably the pen. The issue is on the phone when Type called him and told him he missed him and was waiting for him to come home, Type was sick, was vulnerable, was making him worried. However Tharn thought that it made it even worse because if Type was sick, he should have stayed at home, shouldn't have been drinking with Fiat, shouldn't let his patient in their home, and shouldn't be out here kissing said patient. Tharn still thought Type was not well, yet he had allowed his vulnerable self be close to Fiat which again is not something Type does typically. It meant there was some kind of trust, relationship shared with Fiat and Type that Tharn didn't know of, and his hazy and afraid mindset could only think of cheating. 
I thought you needed me.
This one is pretty obvious. Tharn has an issue with not being loved; it's been the whole storyline of his, from season 1, when he was traumatised repeatedly in the past by Lhong to believe he was unlovable, to always never having someone who wants/needs him the way he wants/needs them, to always be the one who devotes all he has to be left. For Tharn he feels useless because of his past scars because of this very reason. When Type showed up things shifted, he was the perfect, lovable boyfriend, dependable, rich, sweet, loyal, even when Type didn't open up to him about his issues, Tharn went behind the scenes to help him solve them. He's been doing everything he can for Type, the work, the secret spies, everything to be useful to Type and yet he realised Type opened up to someone else, Type relied on someone else for comfort, Type wanted someone else to talk to and drink with. It felt messed up, and so he got into his fears about not being needed and started to think what Type wanted was Fiat not him; it's why he blames Type for cheating, Type already showed him the proof he wanted Fiat by being vulnerable with him in all the weak spots, without consciousness (being drunk), at his actual home (his safest space) and letting him physically cross the line with his body (the kiss). Tharn could not understand it at all hence the constant blame and questioning
I rushed back home tired and exhausted.
Thinking about what Tharn had been planning for Type, you understand more why this is even more of a big deal. They've had this marriage disagreement something that made Tharn question the stability of their relationship, the confirmation of Type's certainty, and if they were on the right page with what they want. The marriage disagreement was already making him flashback to their past where Type wasn't sure about crossing the line with them. Unfortunately going back to the past despite it being seven years later, Tharn hadn't dealt with the breakups, the fights and the issues with Type even if they were happy. To be honest, the fights, his begging and kneeling for Type to be his wasn't a good memory, he was continually trying to push it down, to see their love as equal but some part of Tharn couldn't believe it (because of his trauma of being left and because of the instability of his and Type's relationship). 
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An insecure and hazy mind
Type was hiding their relationship, opening up situations for people to believe they were single for the whole 7 years before the boss dilemma, it made Tharn angry, tired and frustrated but he was patient because he had told Type in the flashbacks (also crucial to this episode) that he'd wait when he's ready. So Tharn was already anxious about Type accepting the proposal, confirming the status of what their relationship is next, becoming public etc., because it was all that plagued his mind. But also Tharn was working hard because he knew Type was fired/quit from the hospital and needed security and stability that they'd be fine, he went to the 2 weeks work trip so he can work hard tirelessly to ensure he and Type were set for the future, he stayed up all night, refused contact and stayed focus exhausted, and the first thing he did when he rushed back was do a big show of his declaration of love despite the fact he was tired and needed to rest. His mind was exhausted, so it was easily vulnerable and was easily going to shut down due to signs of stress, he wasn't thinking properly because all he could think about was Type and he came back to seeing Type cheat. I did mention that one thing Mame was foreshadowing with TT (check previous essays here) was that Tharn's show of emotions was always going to be hasty, rushed, at the wrong time when Type had to deal with things, because of this it would cause chaos first of all, (like we see in episode 10) and second Type won't show consideration to his efforts making him feel mistreated/taken for granted. 
A scene of this is Type taking the roses he bought to propose and throwing on the floor, and proceeding to mention the dreaded break up word before suggesting a break and walking out; It was inconsiderate because Type knows how Tharn reacts to that (Tharn's brain literally shut down again when Type asked him if he was breaking up with him) but even still Type proceed to throw away one of his efforts and walk out instead of pleading for Tharn to calm down, for him to let him be away so they can discuss better the next day. Type should not have left Tharn alone (naturally being apart is better for them but not in this shows lore where love is the most crucial thing and communication), Type should have gone to sleep and left Tharn to his thoughts no matter how much Tharn was being ridiculous and hurtful; he knows he and Tharn have been through this before (with Tar forcefully kissing Tharn) and he knows how Tharn reacts with this attitude. That's an example of how Type is inconsiderate to Tharn's feelings because of pride, stubbornness (waiting for Tharn to apologise first) and pettiness (to focus on Fiat first). 
Like my previous analysis, this whole show has been about miscommunication of their internal scars, both misunderstanding each other's actions that stem from their own way to protect what they have but the other person sees it as an obstacle nonchalance to the other's efforts. Type is hurt because Tharn doubts his love when all he has been doing is missing him for the whole time, that he even got lovesick and lost his mind because of it, and Tharn is hurt because Type doesn't understand why he had to question and blame him, and he left him alone with the words break up and take a break. It wasn't right for both. Hence the dilemma. 
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THE MINDSET OF TYPE
Now I think it's pretty apparent why Type is hurt by Tharn so I won't focus on his perspective on the cheating disagreement; it's the same like he said word for word, how could Tharn not trust him after seven years, why would he think Type is capable of that when their love for each other is everlasting, and why would he refuse to trust him. Obvious stuff, let's focus on the other dilemma with Type—the revenge of Fiat.
Now to say I was appalled by this is an understatement, one Fiat is young like 7-10 years younger than these lot, so it's uncomfortable to see grown men (apart from Cir who didn't like taking part) agree with Type that although this is extreme, it's the correct thing to do. Two, Type is Fiat's doctor, like this is such a weird line to cross with your patient, not professional, scary and psychologically damaging as a doctor it breaks a lot of codes that's for sure, and three Leo standing there and letting this happen to Fiat just frustrates me all the more. So I want people to know I am against this before I actually start breaking it down in Type's point of view, this behaviour is not okay by any means, Type has never been meant to be a correct, moral character, he's always been problematic, harsh, volatile from season 1, this is nothing new. He risks things when it comes to revenge and anger; he takes it too far to make sure the person learns a lesson. Let's look into that warped mind of his and his reasons for why he did this: 
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A Frustrated and Desperate Mind
When Type thinks of what to do in the situation, it's important to note it was Techno and Champ that gave him the idea of what to do. Not the way but the idea to focus on Leo and Fiat. I was upset of course he should deal with Tharn first since that guy isn't stable whenever he's sacrificed for these acts, he's never okay every time it happens, he wasn't okay when Type broke up their relationship and left him with scars because of Lhong, and he wasn't okay when Type kept avoiding him and leaving him to stay worried they would break up. Like I said it's inconsiderate of Type. But Techno is the person who tells Type to deal with Fiat, in fact, to make sure Type deals with Fiat. Champ is who tells Type Leo likes Fiat and they should get them together to deal with the issue. Now look at Type's mindset; he needs to:
Find a way to get rid of Fiat for good. That boy isn't budging even when faced with moral dilemmas like stealing one's boyfriend, even when Tharn is telling him to stop he's still asking if I don't? He's a pest.
Get Leo and Fiat together: In a way, Fiat and Leo remind Type of him and Tharn's crazy, stupid and toxic beginnings, because of Type's stupidity and actions Tharn had to suffer constantly for them to be together. Fiat reminded Type of himself when he was little; he is protective of him even if people don't like that, he sees himself like an older brother, all he hates is Fiat doesn't get no for an answer that he doesn't want problems with Tharn but hearing about a love story filled with obstacles; Type wanted to help because it reminded him of Tharn and him; younger and dumber and toxic. 
Get revenge on Fiat:  This isn't surprising when you think about what the show, this season has shown us about Type. (Yes he matured and grew but there were clues he won't take what Fiat did likely), one he doesn't like people who try to ruin what he and Tharn have, they have been through this crap before with so many people it's not even funny, he doesn't have the time, they must know when they cross the line. Two, He is shown to be manipulative, cunning, sneaky, violent and harsh when it comes to protecting Tharn and him for Lhong he was willing to sacrifice for a bit Tharn's happiness, and his so he got revenge and got rid of Lhong. Three he's been this way petty, vindictive and violent when it comes to cheating issues since season 1, he doesn't like the feeling of fear and worries it causes both him and Tharn to have. It makes him angry and determined to teach people a lesson. Is that right? No, but it's been Type since day one, even seven years later for Tharn? It's Type. Type hasn't had to show how he is when someone threatens to ruin Tharn this season, we've only seen him grow because Tharn is safe and okay, but you saw how he reacted with the boss. No one messes with Tharn not even Fiat. He has to be taught a lesson. 
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A Determined and Helpful? Mind
So with these three thoughts in mind and a determination to teach Leo also a lesson about the seriousness of his actions, Type took it too far and planned a way to scare Fiat into confessing. Leo let him because it's his older P', he knows more about relationships. Remember, Fiat and Leo are young and inexperienced with all this.  The way to do this, to get into Fiat's brain that he should stop, that Leo should stop letting Fiat stay a villain, and stop being a coward is through Fear. Type's actions in drugging, and staging a kidnap and threatening to harm Fiat is not okay, but it's enough to make Fiat know Type isn't to be messed with again (gets rid of him), it makes Fiat finally accept the error of his ways and confess to why he does what he does, lamenting about the fact that Leo never loved him.  Leo overhears and realises all the pain he put Fiat through by being a coward (gets them together) and three it teaches Fiat a lesson for hurting Tharn (gets revenge) it's that simple, not right but it is that understandable.
 Again Type isn't meant to be moral, he's a bad guy, he's a flawed character, toxic and problematic everyone in this show is, so yes it's uncomfortable, but TT has never been a show that is comfortable even if season 2 made you think it could be clues were telling you TT had a lot of pent up aggression, pain, and sadness from their past they had to deal with, and if someone triggers their regression that person pays for it as Lhong did, As Fiat did. Type has never been a saint, so I get the outrage, but it's 100% his character to do this. 
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Phu and Cir: The antithesis of TT and LF
Again the theme of this season is communication. And people have wondered why Phu and Cir are in the show, and I remembered telling you all that their scenes are meant to parallel and show a different mirroring to TT's relationship, in episode 1, it was to make Tharn feel angry that he and Type weren't out and full of PDA like they were in public, in two it was to showcase to us a dependable relationship despite parental problems, and in this episode, it was to showcase how communication works. Why all the other couples even ChampKhun (they aren't yet confessing how they feel), weren't progressing because they refused to communicate about their scars, fears and worries. Cir and Phu fought but made up after communicating and letting each other know they trust and devote themselves to each other. It's what TT and LF should do. LF finally got a chance for that and have gotten together, but TT will get there next week episode. 
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There's so much I can write about this episode. I'm probably going to write a LeoFiat analysis too because so much to say about their story. In the end, TT 7 Years is a journey, can be painful and worrying because it gets dark, but it's just like TT Season 1, nothing has changed, I know it's hard to want to like a show where the characters are so flawed, broken, unhealthy and problematic but there's a reality that TT aren't perfect characters, they're all human in a way despite their horrible actions, it's not okay, but I've never come into this show expecting saints, and warriors and heroes. I've expected three-dimensional flawed characters that make me question morals, psychological discussions and villains and what makes one, and it's why I like the show, it takes risks, it isn't perfect, the writing is not the best, but I stand with the fact the show is more profound than you all think. Mame has moments where she can be a good writer her vision for TT however wasn't done well, and I think it's her fault and the director (The problem with Mame), but I still get her vision, after all, I was right about LeoFiat since episode 3 if you follow the clues and the subtext the show isn't that surprising it's just a part 2 (not sequel) to TT S1, it's a conclusion to their story, you have to watch S1 and S2 together to understand why and how the characters act how they do. When you do the show makes more sense, you see the mirrors (like the flashbacks this episode weren't just there for cute moments but to show you Tharn's thoughts about their relationship, each moment we saw a cute moment reflected an issue; with San before that scene, a cheating conversation, a let's be boyfriends conversation etc.) all pointing to the disagreements the show has; the marriage disagreement (crossing the line to a new status) or the cheating disagreement (possessiveness and past scars). Everything has been built up since season 1. So yes I'm still here supporting the show, I know this won't get a lot of notes, a lot of people don't want to keep watching, and I don't blame you, but I still like this show. I haven't changed my mind. Let me know what you think if you're still watching the show, who is wrong in the cheating disagreement? How did you feel about Type vs Fiat? Let's discuss. See you next episode. 
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cdelphiki · 4 years
Note
Was re-reading ‘In for a Penny’ when I read this sentence “if we do not rescue Damian today, “Clark said, finally speaking up, “I have a feeling we will one day face him in battle”and thought what if Bruce wasn’t able to find Damian, instead meets him again when he’s ten, how would he feel?What would happen? Damian holding a sword to the father he doesn’t remembers throat, dick finally seeing his brother again. Memories, baby things left untouched in the manor. Would love to hear your thoughts-M
The years since Damian’s kidnapping had not been kind to Bruce.
Dick left him. When he was barely eighteen. Packed up and moved to Bludhaven, where he still lived some six years later.  
Bruce couldn’t blame him. Not really. He’d not been much of a father, once Damian went missing.  
Then Jason came along, and Bruce had tried really hard for that boy. He’d worked on himself, worked on his availability. Adopted him, right from the start.
It hadn’t mattered.
Because in the end, Jason had left him, too. In the most painful way possible.
At least Damian was out there.
Somewhere.
Growing up, living his life.
Jason’s had been cut short.
After that, Bruce had sworn off kids. He wanted nothing to do with children ever again, because brining a child in his life just meant he’d love that child, and life didn’t let him keep the things he loved.  
He wasn’t sure how many more times he could go through that.
Those he loved suffered in the worst ways possible, and how could he do that to another child?
Then Tim came around. Kind of forced his way into Bruce’s life. Reluctantly, and completely against his will, Bruce had come to love Tim, as well. Had adopted him, when the opportunity arose, as tragic as it was.  
Talia had made herself scarce in the years since stealing Damian away from him. He’d tried to find them. Many times. But they always evaded him. Were always too well hidden.
He hadn’t… given up.
Per se.
But as Damian grew older, Bruce’s hope dwindled. He’d not even been two yet, when Talia took him away. There was no chance he’d even remember Bruce at five.
Or eight.
Or the ten he was now.
What right would Bruce have to swoop in and steal him away? Rip him away from the only family he remembered?
To him, Bruce was the absent father, living on the opposite side of the planet, and as much as he wanted to see his son, as badly as he wanted to hold his baby in his arms, he was a stranger to Damian.
He had no right over him any more.  
All he had left of his little boy were pictures and a stuffed cow.
He’d given away everything else. To Clark, when Lois was expecting Jon.
To Selina. When she was expecting Helena.
Damian was too old for baby things, anyway. And walking past a nursery was painful.
They’d turned that room into Jason’s.
It wasn’t any less painful, now.  
Bruce tried not to think about any of it. Tried not to think about Damian.
But it was hard, when Talia al Ghul kidnapped him while he was on mission in England.
Strung him up and got right in his face.
Hers was not a face he wanted to see.
“Talia,” he snarled, flexing his hands, testing his strength against the bat-thing that held him tight.
It would take a remarkable show of strength to free himself. He wasn’t sure he could. Even if he did, there were half a dozen more of the bat-things all around him. He knew himself outnumbered when he saw it.
He was just thankful Tim had taken the weekend off, rather than accompanying him on this trip.  
“What do you want, Talia,” he spat, when she came too close, running her fingers across his chest. He had no interest in her. And she should know that by now.
She had killed any chance of there being anything between them eleven years prior.
And then burned it to the ground when she stole their son away from him.  
“It’s nice to see you, too, Beloved,” she drawled, pulling away from Bruce and drawing her sword.  She toyed with it, staring at the blade in her hand, without saying anything further.
“What. Do. You. Want,” he ground out. Games were also not something he was interested in.  
“Hm,” she hummed, still toying with her blade for a moment before finally asking, “You remember our son?”
“How could I forget,” he growled. If she had merely kidnapped him to taunt him…
He might need to call in Clark to hold him back. He pulled at his arms again, and could feel the give in his captors’ hold. Knew, if he pulled his arms in just the right way, kicked his legs back at just the right moment, he’d be able to free himself easily.
“Hm. Yes, well,” she said, waving a hand at him, as if dismissing his anger, “He has grown wild. I can no longer control him.”
His sweet little baby?
Unlikely.
“What did you do to him?” he shouted, seriously contemplating calling in Clark. Because he was not sure he’d be able to control himself if he found out Damian had been mistreated in any way.
And he couldn’t think of a single other explanation for his Damian turning ‘wild.’ Not his sweet little baby who loved animals and was so gentle. So empathetic. So kind.
“Do not be so dramatic,” Talia snapped, “I thought you’d be happy.”
“Happy about what.”
“He needs… taming,” she said, twirling her sword around, a little, before she sheathed it again, “He lacks discipline. I had hoped some time with his father would straighten him out.”
“Time with,” he started, only to fumble over his words.
Was she…
Introducing him to Damian?
Why… why would she… after all these years…?
What was her game?
“You’ll hear from me soon, Beloved, though I’ll imagine you’ll be busy. I intend to hold the whole world hostage.”
Bruce tried to look back up at her, to ask her what the fuck that meant, but his head was pushed forward by one of the man-bats, and the entire world seemed to freeze.
Because a small child had materialized before him.
A… boy.
His boy.
In the eight years since he’d seen Damian, he had changed so much, but at the same time, not at all.
He had the same nose. The same… little button nose he’d had, as a baby. The same bright green eyes.
The same scowl.
“Damian,” he whispered, looking Damian up and down, trying to commit every little detail to memory.
“Father,” Damian responded, pushing his sword forward, almost touching Bruce’s neck, “I imagined you taller.”  
“You-“ Bruce started, but had to stop. Because he was overcome with laughter.
The man-bats let go of him, and Bruce slumped to the ground, right to his knees, only keeping himself upright with his hands as his laughter turned a tad hysteric.
His little boy.
His little boy, was standing right in front of him. Was… Was within reach.
Was coming home with him.
“You are the great warrior Mother has told me about?” Damian asked skeptically, his sword now sheathed.
That was enough to pull Bruce back to the moment.  He sniffed, and sat back so he could get a good look at his little boy.  
“Hi, Damian,” he said, smiling a little, to force the overwhelming urge to weep to go away.
Damian scowled, a little, and shot Bruce as critical look. “How do you know my name?”
“What?”
Out of all the things Damian could ask…
“My name. Mother said you did not know of me. She did not tell you my name just now. How do you know it?”
“I- What?” Bruce repeated.
“You are not as intelligent as Mother claimed. Shame.”
“Damian,” he said, slowly, “You- you lived with me.  For almost a year, as an infant.”  
“Tt,” he huffed, rolling his eyes dramatically, “Now you are suggesting my mother is a liar. She has done a lot of things, but she has never lied to me.”
“Just, come here,” Bruce said, looping an arm around Damian’s shoulders and tugging him close, “I have missed you so much.”
Damian tensed in Bruce’s arms, but didn’t push him away. That is, not until Bruce started crying.  
Bruce didn’t blame him. He’d be uncomfortable, too, if a stranger claiming to know and love him started crying into his hair.  
They had so much ground to recover.  
- - -
Damian was a massive brat.
Bruce felt like a terrible parent for thinking such a thing about his own son, but Damian was downright horrible.
He did nothing but yell and scream and throw things around. He fought with Alfred. Fought with Bruce.
Hated Tim.
Considering the boy had attempted to push Tim off the top level of the cave, that first night Bruce brought him home, he couldn’t trust Damian anywhere near Tim.
And Tim hated Damian in return.
Or, at least, considered him to be the ‘son of satan’ and avoided him at all costs.
Bruce wasn’t sure how to make his family all mesh together. Wasn’t sure how to get Damian to calm down and give them all a shot.
All those years Bruce had imagined, fantasized with it would be like to get Damian back, never once had he considered he might not like the boy.  
He still loved him, of course. Loved him so much it hurt.
His son was finally home, and his home had been thrown into pure chaos.
Handing Damian the cow had been a difficult decision.
For eight years, that cow had been all Bruce had. The only physical reminder he had of the little boy he’d lost.
Damian and Cow had been inseparable, when he was an infant. Bruce had bought three more, the very second he realized how attached to the dumb toy Damian had become. He had four of those cows, and when Talia’s men took Damian, they’d taken none of them.
It’d been a stab in his heart, every time he looked at cow. Knowing how scared Damian would be without it. How upset.
Knowing Damian likely cried for weeks, if not months, for that stupid cow.  
And in the eight years since Damian’s kidnapping, Bruce had become a little attached to the cow, himself. It sat on his bed stand. Right next to his favorite photo of Damian. He pat cow’s head every night, as if doing so would be telling his own little boy ‘good night, I love you.’  
Just like he’d done every single night Damian lived with him.  
Handing Damian that cow was difficult.  Because Damian destroyed everything he was given. He was violent. He threw tantrums.
And he was, above all, not a child.  
But Cow belonged to Damian, and Bruce was unable to put it off any longer.
“Damian,” he said, knocking on his boy’s door, allowing it to creak open as he did, “I wanted to give you something.”
“What is it now,” Damian started, but paused when he got a look at the toy in Bruce’s hand.  Bruce walked over to the bed where Damian was reading and held it out, for Damian to take.
But instead, Damian just said, “That’s… Mr. Cow.”
“Yeah,” Bruce said, laughing a little to cover up the desire to cry.
Because Damian remembered.
“I—“ Bruce started, “He was yours. When you lived here. I’ve— I’ve kept him in my room, ever since you left. To remind me of you. But, he was yours, so I thought I should give him back.”
“Why,” Damian said, slowly, in the least snotty tone Bruce had heard yet, “Why do I remember a stupid toy but I do not remember you?”
Bruce sighed, and sat down on the bed next to his son. He placed Cow down in Damian’s lap, even though Damian made not move to take it.
“I don’t know,” he said honestly. He’d been a little distraught when none of the photos had jogged anything.
He hadn’t specifically expected Damian to remember things from when he was 20-months-old, but to have his own boy accuse him of doctoring the photos, just to “get into his head” and “paint his mother as the liar” had hurt.
“You were young. Most people don’t remember much from before the age of three, and you weren’t even two when you left.”  
“But I remember the cow.”
“Yes,” Bruce said, placing his arm behind Damian as he leaned back, “You couldn’t sleep without the damn thing. My guess is you cried for it every night for months, after you left. It probably stuck with you because of that.”  
“Oh.” Damian placed his hand on cow’s head and stroked. Just once. Before his cheeks flushed and he yanked his hand away sharply.
“I’m really happy you’re back,” Bruce said, moving his hand so it was sitting on Damian’s shoulder. Damian still didn’t let him hug him, but at least he didn’t shrug his hand away.  “I hope you know that. I want nothing more than to get to know you.”  
“Thank you, Father,” Damian said crisply, then faltered before adding, much less confidently, “I have always wished to… know you.”  
Bruce couldn’t help it. He pulled Damian in by the hand on his shoulder, and wrapped his arms around. “Well, I’m glad we have this chance, then.”
For once, Damian didn’t fight him. He did fidget, a little, with Cow started to fall, but he caught the little toy and held it a little more securely while Bruce rested his head down on Damian’s hair.  
And when Damian didn’t push him away for several minutes, Bruce started to think… maybe Damian wasn’t a hopeless case, after all.  
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pl-panda · 3 years
Text
To Marry a Vigilante: Part 15
MASTERLIST || First || Previous || Next
To Marry a Vigilante: Part 15
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The book was incredibly interesting. It was written in some dialect of Mandarin. Many things were also covered in The Grimoire but several stories told there were previously completely unknown. It seemed like it was written after the other book and while the first was entirely encyclopedical, this one contained detailed stories from several time periods. What got Ladybug’s attention was that many of them were diary excerpts. 
One of the most important elements was a story about the seventeenth-century villain, Lord of Butterflies, who came to the colonial city of Gotham and tried to take control of the settlement. He was a master of deception and almost succeeded. Ladybug and Black Cat of that time never appeared. Another story told about their involvement in the Thirty Years’ War in continental Europe, where they were hunting the Snake and Bee Miraculous users that tried to manipulate the conflict. Luckily for Gotham, a witch hunter named Malleus opposed him and used jars with symbols engraved on the walls to keep the butterflies locked away so they could not wreak havoc again. The book told of the power struggle until finally, after the burning of Raphael Dent, a longtime friend of Malleus, the attacks stopped. Most people thought that the problem was over, but from the looks of it, the author of that book tried to imply that Lord of Butterflies just bid his time, waiting for the opportunity to strike again. 
Ladybug read the story twice, trying to figure out the fate of all the corrupted Butterflies or the jars, but she got nothing. Maybe if they figured out what symbols kept the akumas in, she could experiment with warding the butterflies away. It could be a breakthrough!
While she was browsing the book, Black Cat eyed the teens. “Shouldn’t you people scramble for classes?”
“Nope!” The little one, Maps, grinned. “The new school policy. In case of a supervillain attack on campus, the rest of the classes that day are canceled to avoid additional stress to students. It’s nice they care about our mental health.” 
“Yeah… Dude,” Colton looked at Black Cat, “any chance you can tell me what tech your staff uses?”
“Tt. It’s magic.” 
“No, seriously, I suppose it could be an organic metal of some sort, but it’s able to perfectly support your weight at the same time.” 
“Magic.” The vigilante-turned-hero growled.
“Come on! Don’t do it to me, man! Pom won’t let me live it down!”
“I told you magic was real!” The teen was glaring at him with a smirk on her face.
“Tt. Don’t play with magic or you’ll get burnt.” He scoffed. 
“Don’t be a grumpy cat!” Ladybug called from over the book. “Silverlock… Why does it sound so familiar…”
“Did you say Silverlock?” One of the teens peaked. “I’m Olive Silverlock.”
“Bellatrix Silverlock was the only akuma from that period mentioned here by name… I wonder why… Ugh! I can’t decipher that part. It’s too old and damaged.” The heroine groaned. “Cat! We should move back to the base.” She pulled a pair of glasses from her yo-yo and put them on. “Tikki! Kaalki! Merge!” 
As soon as the light of transformation died, a portal consumed both superheroes and the book, leaving the teens alone in the dark library.
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Sabine paced around the manor in the foul mood she was in ever since she sent the kids on their way after initiation and returned home for some long-deserved rest. Half-way home, she received a phone-call from Chloé saying that Marinette was crying in the bathroom with her over another girl that threatened her. The only thing that stopped Sabine from turning around and possibly crashing the car through the front gates was her daughter begging her not to.
She admired that her little girl tried to resolve the problems herself and she didn’t want to come off as overbearing and intruding. It wouldn’t stop her from preparing for if it seemed too much for her sunshine. She made a mistake with Lila. This time, she would be ready. But first, she needed tools. 
“Tom! Where is my suit?!” She called out to her husband, who was happily baking in the kitchen. He finally managed to kick Alfred out and get control. Sabine laughed when the butler, passing her, revealed that he let him win. 
“I think Bruce wanted to put it in the vault, together with the bag!” The large man answered with a merry tone. 
“Thank you, honey! I think I’ll be going out for a while!” 
“Be safe!”
Finally having a direction, she stormed toward the vault. It was hidden under the stairs, where one had to first enter a secret passage, only to then open a door in the wall.
When she opened the doors and looked inside, her first instinct was to immediately go into a battle stance.
It looked like a tornado passed through the room, which was supposed to be neatly ordered. All the documents were scattered, two priceless artifacts got destroyed and every drawer was pulled out. Inside the wall opposite to the doors, someone made a giant hole. The concrete was shattered and the metal reinforcement cage was pulled apart. 
Warily, Sabine approached the hole. Once she got closer, she could take a better look at the reinforcement. What got her attention was the way it was bent. Someone grabbed it and ripped it apart. The hole itself also revealed a small rectangular area that was used to hide something. A secret buried so deeply it was frozen inside a wall of a hidden vault inside a hidden corridor in one of the best-guarded buildings in Gotham.
“Oh for crying out loud! I just wanted my suit…” She threw her hands up. 
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More or less at the same time, Tim had a lazy day at the cave. He didn’t need to return to Wayne Enterprises for at least another week. He tried to solve a cold case, using the updated list of secret powers Sabine provided him. He and Bruce were both worried about how much had escaped them. Neither considered Luxembourg Secret Service to be capable of ordering a hit on a hitman that was after their Duke. And hire Lady Shiva nonetheless. 
He just got himself a new cup of coffee when suddenly, a portal appeared in the middle of the cave and dropped two superheroes and a book on a podium. The Cat landed on his feet while Ladybug fell on her rear with a soft thud. Startled, Tim dropped his mug and the coffee spilled all around him.
“Could you not!?” He shouted, a bit embarrassed that they got a drop on him so easily. 
“Tt. Shut up replacement.” Cat growled. He and Marinette dropped their transformations and she proceeded to feed Tikki with some cookies while he reluctantly pulled a small, isolated box from his pocket and gave Plagg a bit of cheese. 
“We’ve got plenty of new material after the last akuma attack. I’ve sent you a picture of a woman using the Peacock Miraculous and we’ve got an essential book.” She walked over to the bat computer. “It appears that they used the distraction the akuma caused to infiltrate the place.”
“I’m not sure, Angel.” Damian was busy with the other screen, trying to attach the tablet to it. The deciphering system managed to unlock it already and while he waited for the system to scan for any traps, he browsed the photos. “From the look of it, she only got two or three pages before we ambushed her. She must’ve arrived shortly before us or couldn’t find it for a long time. I would hazard a guess that she didn’t know about it.”
“But… That would mean she was at school when… but how would she… No! The only other person that heard about the book was Erica.”
“Maybe not. She could’ve been there trying to get some information on us.”
“But how did she get there before us?”
“Tt. It’s not like the Detective Club was in any hurry.” He huffed. 
“Um… That’s all great and all, but what the bat are you talking about?” Tim asked, trying to get between the married couple. 
“We had an akuma attack at school. Damian earned detention for calling Hammerhead old while out of the suit. After we dealt with the akuma we learned about this book,” she pointed at the podium. “We went to check it and found the new Peacock trying to photograph as much as she could. We stole her tablet and kicked her backside.” Marinette beamed. 
Their discussion was interrupted when Sabine stormed inside the cave. “I need security feed from the Gala. Someone trashed the Wayne Vault and stole some box!” She shouted at Tim. “Oh! Hi Sweetie. Go change out of the uniform and we will get tea in a minute.” She smiled at her daughter. Except it was not as genuine as her usual smile. It felt much more forced. 
“Maman. I would love to, but maybe let’s deal with the break-in first?”
“We must wait for Bruce to get back anyway. He took Cass to the ballet class today. My turn will be on Thursday.” 
She pulled the video feed from the camera that overlooked the entrance to the corridor that led to the Vault. She put it on double speed and watched various guests hang around and talk. They usually had a glass of champagne. Suddenly, Marinette lunged and pressed the pause button.
“Him!” She pointed to a younger man with jet black hair and a white mask that covered the upper part of his face. His hair was neatly combed back with no small amount of hair gel, enough that it shined in the camera. 
“He doesn’t stand out really…” Tim scanned the image. 
“The bracelet!” She seethed. “I can’t believe that bastard still carries the bracelet.”
“Tt. I can cut it off next time I see him.” Damian offered before muttering “Together with the arm.” Luckily for him, Marinette had more pressing matters than stopping his murderous instincts.
“So Agreste somehow got inside during the Gala. It’s maybe an hour before the akuma attack.” They continued to watch as he chatted with people nearby. Finally, when they left, he slipped inside the secret passage. They switched to the camera inside, only for it to then be destroyed by a cane. The one inside the vault was a bit farther away, so before it was destroyed they got a good look at the boy. 
The male figure had a dark purple suit with the signature butterfly brooch pinned to the top of the shirt. His chest was protected by two black flaps that looked a bit like the moth wings. In his black gloves, he held a cane topped with a purple orb. The face was covered by a simple domino mask that did nothing to hide the mane of blonde hair on top of his head.
“At least we know that he inherited his father’s lack of taste. At least his mask isn’t…” Marinette stopped herself when Damian poked her side and pointed toward the glass cabinet inside which the first Red Robin uniform was. Its mask was pretty close to what Gabriel wore. “Oh… Nevermind.”
Tim was clearly unamused. 
“This is still important. We’ve got a first look at his transformation. We can set cameras to, in addition to akuma tracing, scan for him personally.”
“I don’t think it would do much good. The image wasn’t the best.”
“But how did he avoid the scanners?” 
“Alfred was busy, tracking a suspicious blonde with bi-colored eyes. She was supposed to have messed too close to the kitchen for his liking.” Tim explained.
“I remember her. She said something to me. ‘You’re far from victory yet’. I considered it suspicious, but in the whirlwind of the following events, the meeting slipped my mind.”
“You! The great Damian Wayne forgot a crucial detail!?” Tim laughed. “This is gold! I need to mark the date on my calendar!”
“Tt. And I need a set of matches.” The youngest Wayne growled. 
“So we’ve got another suspect on the list?” 
“It’s getting complicated. First the vault, then the book… Hawkmoth was narrow-minded in his goals. Create akumas, have them hunt Ladybug and Chat Noir, take the Miraculous.” Marinette collapsed on the nearby chair. “Adrien is… he’s more organized. He’s got a plan. He’s not after the Miraculous. Or rather not directly. There is something else he’s trying to find. I’m just not sure what…”
“The history of Gotham is filled with so many mysteries that we wouldn’t even have any idea where to begin.” Tim wasn’t helpful. At all.
“We know they stole something from Wayne Vault and used the akuma as a distraction to carry it away. Then, they attacked the school. What could be at Gotham Academy that they had a personal interest in?”
“The book?”
“I don’t think they knew about it. The attack on the Academy could’ve been to test our abilities.” 
Tikki and Plagg floated to the group. “Gotham is a dark place.” Ladybug Kwami started. “There are so many things in this city…”
“What about the Bat miraculous, cookie?” Plagg asked. “I mean where else would it be but Gotham?”
“Bat… Miraculous…” Time starred at the two mini-gods. “You’re joking, right?”
“No. Balla is the Kwami of clarity.” Tikki nodded. “The Bat Miraculous gives the wearer supernatural perception and near-precognition.”
“What?” Marinette asked, not sure what the word was supposed to mean.
“They can see the immediate future.” Her mother clarified for her. 
“Is it possible they are after the Bat…” she tried to imagine what jewelry would be associated with bats. Tikki came to help. 
“It’s the belt buckle.”
“Tt. Bat Buckle?” Damian raised an eyebrow. “Whoever made the Miraculous had a great sense of humor.” 
“Okay. But we still need to figure out their next step…”
“Sweetie? Maybe you focus on school and let me deal with this?” Sabine asked after a moment. 
“But… I’m the Guardian.”
“And you’re also a teenager.” Her mother countered. “I’m not trying to replace you or keep you on the sidelines. I am your mom though. Teenage years are supposed to be the best in your life. You should be dating, spending time with friends. Exploring the world. Nowhere on that list is fighting against a mad terrorist.” 
“But… but… I can’t just sit back while you fight!” 
“You can still fight. And help.” Sabine tried again. “I just don’t want you to devote all your time to this. You can leave the investigation to me, Bruce and Tim and enjoy the time with friends; Or design; Or take Damian on dates.” 
“Tt. It’s my duty to take her on dates.”
“Dream on, grumpy cat.” Marinette booped his nose and giggled at the face he made.
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Masterlist // Next
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