#new work by a proud writer

[wangxianficrecs]

Proud Author of a New Work

~*~

I hid this story for months and finally had the courage to post it. ⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙  [I’m so glad you did!  And everyone who reads and loves it is going to thank you, too.  Good for you:  I hope it’s rewarding for you!]

It revolves Wei Wuxian leaving right after classes, and from there I'll fit canon in a new way, mostly WWX-friendly. WWX is powerful (crooked path fam) and confident and we hint around about Sect Leader WWX! And Wangxian is, of course, endgame.

Everyone should always mind the tags but it should be cool with everyone, there's nothing really explicit.

the sea meets the moon-blanched land

by rkivees (G, 8k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary: “I'm sorry, Lan Zhan.”

“This is in no way Wei Ying's fault.” He shook his head, eyes focused on Wei Wuxian's face when he said it.

“I could've helped you earlier.”

“You were worried about the ones who could not protect themselves.” His voice was deep and sober, “Like the promise we made 10 years ago.”

or, wei wuxian leaves lotus pier right after their classes in cloud recesses and that's when he finds himself

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

#author boost #wangxian #the untamed #wangxian fic rec #new work by a proud writer #I have not read this yet #but y'all dive in and tell me what you think! #new work #powerful wei wuxian #yiling patriarch wei wuxian #good lan qiren #no golden core transfer

[lionofstone]

some reasons why you might want to read CHAOS AND THE SPIDER PRINCE, book one of THE SPIDER PRINCE TRILOGY 🕷

book cover design by @radical-mars and author character art by @crystalline-sanders

#indie books #indie author #fantasy #fantasy books #new adult books #writers on tumblr #bookblr #fantasy bookblr #the spider prince trilogy #tspt #leandra inglis #i have no idea how useful tags are on tumblr anymore lmao #but we are Marketing !! we are sharing the work !! #making an effort to get people to see something i am proud of !!

[hella1975]

my dramatic ass pacing circles in the kitchen like im never writing anything ever again bc nothing feels great anymore it just feels good and apparently i will not apply myself even to my most longterm and beloved passion if i can't feel prodigious at it. fym ur gonna stop trying altogether ur also gonna get ur period in the next few days but im sure there's no correlation

#trying to write and rereading it like the pacing is off the characterisation is stale the dialogue is blocky #and i can't get the concept down the way i want so im perpetually stuck in that 'on the tip of your tongue' feeling #and i cant read things to pass the time not even fics bc im too busy psychoanalysing every single sentence #trying to find some hidden thing that makes this writing better than mine how can this writer get it when i just cant what's wrong with me #and it's all so GODDAMN FRUSTRATING. but aside that im being really calm about it <3 #i can't remember the last time i wrote something and felt genuinely proud of it. i always get very intense long periods of writer's block #and i know i'll come out the other end bc i'll find a new obsession and write 20k words of my best work in one night #and feel like i snorted three lines off a toilet seat in berghain. but also What If This Time Im Just Broken #hi im a girl in my twenties who never learnt from my own behaviour!

[novelconcepts]

i don't make resolutions, but if i did

it would be to finish this fic

(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)

#i'm finishing it if it kills me #i know i've been writing this makeout scene for 3 weeks but baby that can't last forever #if we want to get deep and dark and serious for a second i do think a lot of my struggles to write lately have to do with engagement #and how incredibly low engagement has been on the last few things i've written #which like. is what it is. i'm not entitled to anybody's time or comments or kudos. #but when you write stuff you're proud of and it feels like it's barely getting read it's hard to keep momentum. #this isn't intended as a woe is me or whatever it's just kind of like. there. hovering. #happens enough times you start to wonder if it's you. am i just writing for the wrong fandom/ship? #(too bad if so. they're in my bones i'm writing for them and no one can stop me.) #but yeah. if you ever wonder if authors do care or notice about hits. comments. kudos. buddy i am here to tell you #not only do we care and FLOURISH we also notice when those things drop off and readers vanish #and it is a giant bummer. and sometimes makes us wildly paranoid about why that might have happened. #so if you liked a fic today--not even one of mine. just. anybody's. share it. comment on it. #kudos at the VERY least (cuz frankly kudos is there to be an 'i got to the end and this was nice' feature. #so when you get 500 hits and only like 30 kudos? it feels like 470 of those people hated your work) #anyway. that got out of hand. lil' too raw lil' too honest. happens when you let yourself ramble at 11:30 instead of sleeping #to sum: let your local fic writer know if they've made you happy #and as we go into 2024 i am swearing to myself that this fic (and probably several others) are getting finished #come hell. high water. or dishearteningly low engagement numbers. #(and then maybe we...actually work on something original. cuz why not. new year same old me but i'll do my best.)

[kennabeth]

cornelia funke's background in social work is apparent all the time in her writing but especially in the way farid CONSTANTLY expects dustfinger to hit him

#a lot of writers would be like 'is farid being fed enough? getting words of affirmation? being in active healthy relationships #beyond just his new parent? yes to all? then he's cured:)' #but she knows thats just not how that works #just now dustfinger spun around too fast when farid tried getting his attention and farid flinched like he was going to be hit #even tho 8 minutes ago dustfinger had been squishing his cheeks and telling him how proud of him he was #love doesnt make trauma go away!! #says kenna #inkheart #child abuse tw #heres your sad post i wrote it a few hours ago and got very gloomy #coming back in case someone outside the fandom is reading: #farid is not being hit or abused now but he was so badly in his previous life that every time he fks up in any way he's like #'oh youre finally going to hurt me now' #farid is so loved and wanted rn i promise

[igarbagecannoteven]

x

#instead of writing i was fiddling around with tumblr page coding as one does #and i ended up staring at my fic folders on my computer and i think if i don't stick to just 5sos fics i could be ready to start with the #24 days of fic thing by next month which like #on the one hand heck yeah! it's been over a year i'm ready to start putting shit out there again #but on the other hand #i'm not like. super proud of a considerable chunk of the fic i've been hoarding #like they're not awful! it's just that several aren't of the same 'caliber' of my other work #and one of my biggest fic fears is that someone will read one of my not-as-good works and write me off as a mediocre writer #and bc of that won't read any of the fics i'm super proud of #idk guys #i know there's a lot of stuff about like. 'putting stuff out there is plenty don't worry about it being perfect!' which like #on one hand i agree with but on the other that's not why i write #i write to transcribe an idea to the best of my ability and if i know i'm not doing that then what #anyway #that's what's going on with me rn! #sorry i haven't been on this blog much i've been taken over by a new obsession that's been sapping all my brain powet #in related news if anyone listens to dungeons and daddies hmu lol #but yeah #i'm still here! just got my head in other places atm #i'm sure it'll come circling back at some point #the trash talks

[illustrator-dani]

Yo, pride month is almost here so let's review what shouldn't be happening to fic writers who write LGBTQ+ stories and characters.

If you are against us, please leave. Don't comment something hateful.

Fandom isn't for you then since EVERYONE is welcome and if your against that then see ya 👋

Also, by commenting on a fic that you claim that you "didn't read" you gave that author free views and your know it all self was just played 😉

#yikes i had some asshole comment on a new writers work saying some homophobic shit #it wasn't necessary and i didn't want to have the author run from this fandom #they needed to know that people are looking out for them #tw homophobic #not naming the individual or the fic cause of privacy #also i don't want to cause a whitch hunt either on the jerk who started this all #I'm ace and I'm proud! #reminders #tw homophobia #fandom nonsense

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

After writing this 1.2k words fic and realizing how much I disliked it, I was really hoping that re-reading it would inspire me to write a new fic (or rewrite it, basically), but after re-reading it, my muse is like 'Hmmm nah, I got nothin'.' D:

#I wrote it the day before yesterday I think and then I finally reread it today and...yeah no. not proud of it. #there's no passion in it! I can tell. the writing isn't horrible but the tone is so off. no wonder I stopped writing for this fandom. 🙃 #although it also kind of reminds me of a fic I already wrote years ago that was...well...way more confusing than this one at least #which showed I think because if I remember correctly not as many people seemed to like it. #anyway...now I'm almost wishing I had a beta reader just so someone could tell me if they have zero idea what the point of it is #or if they have no idea what's going on in it... I'm not confident whatever the hell was in my head translated to the page well enough. :/ #and it's also weird because an entire page of it is like exposition/context and then half the other page is an actual scene with dialogue.. #it feels weird because I'm not usually an 'exposition first' type of writer. I gravitate toward dialogue first but this time I did it last! #and I don't think it works but I don't know how to improve or fix it. :( #*sighs* I'm terrified to ask for a beta reader because I've like...never talked to anyone in this fandom before. #and it doesn't help that I left the fandom for years so even if I had talked to anyone they're probably gone and there are new people #and ahahaha I'm already shy enough as it is (hence why I never talked to anyone before). why can't I budge from my comfort zone :(

[amtrak12]

I've never been hyperfixated by my own fic before* but I just spent the ENTIRE weekend - Friday night through Monday morning - retyping/editing my Lucifer fic I started last Nano and then writing a brand new chapter for it and FUCK ME. 36,000 words and six chapters later, this fic is GOOD! Every character has a distinct (and in character) voice? Individual motivations and emotions that are both influencing and being influenced by the plot without being railroaded??

Like I knew I had improved on these things when I wrote my Turn Left AU, but shit, somehow this is even stronger. Yet all I did was hibernate between that story and this one? Astounding.

#*I've obsessively written fics before but it was a constant bashing myself in the head sprinkled with an occasional writer's high #This was like how adhd peeps describe hyperfixating with the fullly locked into the task 'what is food what is sleep' #'I have the same song playing on repeat and I am on a roll' #which I have only experienced when it was playing a new video game like when I found Stardew Valley and didn't leave my computer for a week #I've never experienced it with a task requiring my brain to create. So strange #But also super cool #I am so damn proud of this fic #It's going to be so damn good #Hopefully I can start posting it this fall! #I want the entire thing finished like Turn Left was. Then I can work on the sequel while I post chapters once a week #Ideally there wouldn't be much downtime between each fic

[staff]

Hello, Tumblr. This is a badges update.

Just popping in to tell you about all the nifty badges you can get to decorate your blog these days. You, too, could be the proud owner of The President’s Shoelaces (authentic, we promise), the Rainbow Crab, or the extra special Supporter Badge subscription that changes color as your support progresses. Here’s a full list of all the shiny knickknacks you can currently purchase from TumblrMart:

Supporter badge: This is the big one. This is how you support Tumblr in an ongoing fashion. This badge changes color the longer you subscribe to support Tumblr, starting off with Steel and working towards a very shiny Oil Slick, which demonstrates you’ve reached the highest level of support for this lovely little corner of the internet you call home. Read more about this one here.

Visionary, Literary, Shutterbug, Playlist, and Fashionista identity badges: We have a whole host of badges you can pin to your blog, leaving no one in the dark about your main passions. Are you an artist, a writer or reader, a photographer, a musician, or a style icon? Is your blog a curation of all your favorite art, writing, photography, music, or fashion? Then there’s a badge here for you! 

The Color of the Sky: That old meme that curses your dash now and again? Yeah, you can now wear it on your blog to show off your mischievous side all year round. 

The President’s Shoelaces: For when you want people to know you Know.

Crabs: Regular or Rainbow, you choose. Just know that crabs are something of a Tumblr mascot now, and wearing them on your blog shows that you either  (1) love crabs, (2) participated in crab day on Tumblr on July 29, 2023, or (3) know what to do when the news goes November 5, 2020 on you. 

Lunar badge: For all those who love the moon or simply need to know when they might not be sleeping well, this badge changes throughout the lunar cycle.

Important Babylonian Checkmark: Show your solidarity with disgruntled customers throughout time and space with the help of this extra special checkmark.

Hewie and Bones Halloween badges: Celebrate Tumblr’s national holiday in style. The Hewie and Bones badges bring that special Halloween feeling to your blog year-round. 

That’s all for now! Enjoy mixing and matching your badges to your heart’s content! What’s more, if you have an idea for a badge you’d like to see, get in touch with us, and we’ll see what we can do about that!

#features #badges

[wangxianficrecs]

Proud Author of a New Work

~*~

hello! i think this qualifies as a “proud author of a new work” — the work isn’t exactly new, but it was newly completed! about ten months ago, i started writing a silly little fic called perennial that was not, in fact, supposed to be over 50k. now, ten months later, it is completed at 173k. (I’m laughing so hard.  It be like that sometimes!)  i’d be really thankful for a little boost, since i know your blog is one of the places people come For The Good Stuff hehe so thank you!

if anyone’s interested in: character studies, in-depth takes on how Human Relationships Are Complicated And So Are People, in-depth takes on War And Death and Grief, yunmeng bros reconciliation (eventually), disgustingly sweet married wangxian (eventually), the junior squad being the BEST, Food As A Metaphor For Love, loving wei wuxian and on a very deep and very real level, and dare i say it, pretty high quality writing (lol) come on over, kids, and let me spin you a yarn.

thank u so much, i really appreciate your blog!

perennial

by jublis (not rated, 173k, wangxian)

Oh, Wei Wuxian thinks. I haven’t said goodbye to the ruins yet. There is a creek that cuts through Yiling. Its water is the same water that cuts through Gusu. One time I laid in the water. It passed me by. It flowed back to the ocean as streams do. The water remembers. The water of Yiling, the water of Gusu. (Sometimes he sits by the dinner table in the jingshi, squeezing a mandarin in his hands to soften it, feeling the first traces of winter color the sky. He thinks about how mandarins only bear fruit once a year, or sometimes once every second year; how they take time but always inevitably bloom again, perennial in their growth. Peeling the skin, placing a bud in his mouth: some things are endlessly recurring. The same is true for him now, twice alive.)

... In which Wei Wuxian builds a life, tears it apart, and learns that what he thought was salted earth is actually just scorched.

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

#author boost #wangxian #the untamed #wangxian fic rec #new work by a proud writer #I have not read this yet #but y'all dive in and tell me what you think! #new work #complicated relationships #grief/mourning #yunmeng bros reconciliation #fluff #adorable juniors #angst #happy ending

[rise-my-angel]

.

#i thought i was going into new years with being proud of how much ive written #almost 200k since late August #but now #i just feel like maybe im writing to no one #like im just throwing my work out here to be kicked to the side #im also 95% sure im partially blacklisted in the writers part of the fandom #and now im just sitting here wondering if its my writing people dont like or if it's just me they dont like #I wanted to write joel today #but i just feel like theres no point #it feels like im the only person who cares about it anymore and im just like #taking up space on the dashboard or in the specifc tags with shit no one wants #maybe im just being a whiny crybaby idk i just know im really starting to question the worth of anything i put out recently

[writingstoraes]

off cam 🎥

pairing: charles leclerc/fem!actress!reader

type: instagram imagine, social media au

notes: decided to use sydney sweeney as the faceclaim as well as her new movie w glen powell! (makes my job easier the pics and clips are literally everywhere)

summary: your new rom-com is gaining traction and fans can't help but notice your insane chemistry with your co-star. luckily, charles does not mind.

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya, kendalljenner, and 794,294 others

yourusername The making of this movie has entirely been overwhelmingly euphoric for me. It is with great pleasure to say that Anyone But You is now out in theaters 🖤 All this would not be possible without my amazing co-star glenpowell, writers, producers, fellow actors, and everyone who helped make this script a reality.

Go get your tickets! 😘

charles_leclerc Proud of you beyond words, my world star ❤️

ynfilms everyone stand back her real man is here

jacobelordi Loved the movie!

taylorswift Had the best time recording the soundtrack 🙌

zendaya SOOO AMAZING

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, yourusername, scuderiaferrari, and 1,239,393 others

charles_leclerc Truly in awe of how amazing you are. Never going to love anyone else as much as I love you. Excited to see you conquer the world when you do ❤️

Anyone But You out now in theaters!

tagged: yourusername

carlossainz55 Lol you saw the tweets and ran to Instagram

yourusername I was literally beside him while he was tweeting smh monacokingz i live for this banter i really do

pierregasly Threatened now, are we? 🤔

charles_leclerc Please go log off

danielricciardo Oh Silvia is going to have a field day I just know

yourusername

liked by glenpowell, filmlovers, popbase, and 1,204,583 others

yourusername Seems I have thanked everyone except for the person I am most thankful for. Charles has spent so many days on set with me - waiting till we finish filming, bringing nearly hundreds of cups of coffee for everyone working, and reading lines with me. He was just as ecstatic about this project as I am and he has been insanely supportive 🤍

Don't have eyes for anyone but you, charles_leclerc ;)

PS. He really doesn't mind all of the tweets, he's laughing beside me right now.

charles_leclerc Why are you ratting me out I wanted them to believe I was mad

yourusername Sorry, should I delete this? charles_leclerc No way you basically declared your undying love for me

arthurleclerc Loved the movie, Y/N! 🙌

-----------

notes: this took longer than i expected lol i hope you guys liked it! thank you so much for reading <3

tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy, @fdl305, @iloveyou3000morgan, @cxcewg, @sassyheroneckgiant, @ang3licho3, @pitlanebabe, @riverdalexvixens, @msliz, @boherahpsody @storminacloud @leclercdream (if anyone else wants to be a part of my taglist or if i forgot anyone that asked to be tagged, pls lmk by replying or sending me a message hehe)

#writtenbyrae #charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfiction #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc social media au #charles leclerc ig imagine #charles leclerc instagram imagine #charles leclerc smau #formula 1 #formula 1 fanfiction #formula 1 fic #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 instagram imagine #formula 1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 ig imagine #f1 instagram au #f1 instagram imagine #f1 social media au

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

I do write fanfics for validation, but the validation in question doesn’t come from hits or comments or kudos from my readers. I mean of course, those are great, and I absolutely love and appreciate everyone who reads and engages with my works. I even have screenshots of lovely comments, people have been kind enough to give me, as something to motivate myself to write whenever I start doubting myself or am going through a writer’s block. but what I’m saying here is that the validation I seek the most comes from within myself whenever I manage to finish and publish something. like I get these sense of euphoria + thrills + adrenaline rush every time I post a new work on AO3, ya know, it actually feels like I managed to achieve something. after days of writing, it’s finally here. like this work right here is my child and I’m so proud of myself for having produced it. like I did something with my life even if that something is a fanfic where I put my blorbo through hell. but I’m a proud mom and I’m so proud of me !!!!

#writing #writeblr #ao3 #archive of our own #writer #writers #blorbo #whump #angst #fandom #fanfic #fanfiction #fandoms #comfort character #writing challenge #writing community #whumpblr #whump community #whump blog #tropes #trope #writing trope #whump tropes #prompt #prompts #writing prompt #writing prompts #writing tropes #whump trope #whump prompt

[landograndprix]

「Mini me, mini you? ๛ l.n || c.l」

part ix - ending 1

✧.* a little surprise becomes a welcome surprise and life does get better.

✧.* ending one! there will be one part after this to finish it off completelyl this is a psa for the people who wanted to be on my taglist but never got tagged, i didn't forget or ignore you, I simply am unable to tag you and therefore removed you from the list since it's a mess to tag that many people when half of it doesn't work, hope you understand! Some people are tagged in the comments, I can only tag 50 peeps in a post. Love ya ❤️

✧.* prev part - next part

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𝟐 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫

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y/nusername

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 229,782 others

y/nusername the goodest boy(s) 🧡

tagged: landonorris

view all 421 comments

hannahh I would die for Benji 🥺

norry4 so this is basically saying they're back together..right? (In my delulu era ✌)

maxfewtrell the best norris there is

landonorris are we talking about me or my son?

maxfewtrell since when are you the best norris there is? You never were mate..

hamilt44n hello, is Benji looking for a sister? I'm putting myself up for adoption..just so you know..I'm nice and will do the dishes...please..

norrizz I just know this dog is living his best life 😭

carlandooo I need a Benji in my life and a lando..and a y/n..

sharl16 good news guys, I'm still obsessed with this little icon

landonorris what a little lad ❤️

y/nusername love of my life actually but okay

chilisainz you've been booted to p2 my dude 😂

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y/nusername

liked by carlossainz55, riabish and 278,656 others

y/nusername 💙👶🏻

tagged: landonorris

view all 527 comments

julieeeexo oh my fucking god lando's gonna beba dilf?!😭

norrizz I called it! I told y'all!

zhou_ey stop it, Benji looks so proud to be a big brother 😭

carlossainz55 congratulations guys, you'll name him Carlos no?

landonorris not a chance mate..

carlossainz55 very disappointed

landoscar OMG OMG OMG

maxfewtrell you're going to tell me there's going to be two of lando in a couple weeks?

charlos16 WEEKS?

norrislando4 a lot of us have been saying she's been pregnant for a while so I guess were right? 😭

hamilt44n my parents becoming actual parents and they're getting a lil dude? Life is beautiful 😢

landonorris 💙💙💙

landooofour congrats on becoming a dilf my dude!

charles_leclerc congrats you guys!

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y/nusername posted to their story

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Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @softboystarkey @buffysummrsx @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs

Mini me taglist: @myloverjk-blog @allywthsr @myescapefromthislife @justdreamersdream @celestialams @ihrtdan @sunnytkm23 @yunnie-f1 @stevesworld9 @azxulaa @raizelchrysanderoctavius @leclercdream @opchelia @ssararuffoni @mqcherie @c-tangerine @au-ghosttype @changetyre @elijahslover @roseseraj @luciaexcorvus @evans-dejong @rinhvnt @champomiel @ohyoureaqueenbutuncrowned @hearts4joao @escapism-writer @eugene-emt-roe @bb-swift @christianpulisic10 @bladestark @ayoana @greigreyhiyyih @f1mockingjay @ironmaiden1313 @enhacolor @loxbbg @babyvinnie @wibi96 @celesteblack08

Lando taglist: @beatricemiruna @simp-for-fictional-people

#lando norris x reader #charles leclerc x reader #lando norris x you #charles leclerc x you #lando norris x y/n #charles leclerc x y/n #lando norris fanfic #charles leclerc fanfic #lando norris smau #charles leclerc smau #f1 x reader #f1 driver x you

[reiding-writing]

Hiiii, first of all i wanna say congratsss!! You’re an amazing writer and i LOVE your stuff! Secondly, i would like to mention that i’ve never actually made a request before so bear with me 😬 Okay okay, so i was wondering if you could write cold!reader with angsty prompt 28. "I can't believe I didn't see that coming." and general prompt 23. “I thought I’d lost you.” Maybe spencer gets hurt and reader shows emotion (maybe some tears) and the team is all like ???

(feel free to ignore this btw 💗💗)

CLOSE CALL [CLIMACTERIC]

28. “I can’t believe I didn’t see that coming.”

23. “I thought I’d lost you.”

WARNINGS: fem!reader, guns, hostage situation, character death, reader is her typical rash self, happy ending

spencer reid x cold!reader || hurt/comfort || 2.8k ||

a/n: thank you <3 i’m honoured to be the conduit you chose for your first request and i hope this is what you envisioned 🫶

main masterlist!! ⋆｡°✩ cold!reader masterlist!!

event masterlist!!

Spencer’s hands shake so much as he pulls off his bulletproof vest you’re not sure how he has enough articulation in his fingers to do so in the first place.

“Reid, you’re not ready to do this.” Your words aren’t as harsh as they are truthful, but it cuts him down the same anyhow. “Let me or Hotch do it.”

“No, I need to do this myself,” Spencer shakes his head determinedly, and if he wasn’t so focused on the sheer amount of adrenaline running through his veins right no he’d probably be proud of himself for standing up to you and not just following your word as law, but alas, the only thing he could feel right now is absolute dread. “He won’t listen to you.”

Why was it always him that got personally involved with the unsubs? It was like they were a heat-seeking missile locked only onto his location.

Literally locked onto his location in this case. He’d seen him —Daniel as he called himself— on the train home from work, in the coffee shop he frequented, the local library, and he swears he also saw him parked in his apartment building’s parking lot.

It was like he was silently screaming at Spencer to notice him, and when he finally got to speak to the man, he asked for help. He was afraid. He was afraid of himself because he was having horribly intrusive thoughts that made him want to do terrible things and he viewed Spencer as his only scapegoat. Pros and cons of being all over the news for his job he supposes.

Spencer really did try to help him, but every suggestion he made was shut down like they weren’t good enough, like Daniel wanted Spencer to physically go into his brain and remove all of the faulty parts that were making him feel insane.

Spencer’s help just wasn’t good enough, and it lead to multiple people dying as a result.

And now Daniel was holding a woman hostage in her own house.

How was he supposed to not feel solely responsible for that?

Spencer had to be the one to speak to him. Not you or Hotch and your negotiation training, him and his personal connection to all the deaths that had happened because he wasn’t able to help someone that was begging him to save them from their own mind.

He practically shoves his revolver into your hand as he commits to going inside, taking a second to regulate his breathing before emerging from behind the SUVs to approach the closed front door, leaving you all in wait, guns raised at every window in the event that something goes wrong.

Something was bound to go wrong.

“Reid the minute that something feels off you leave, understand?” It technically wasn’t your call to make, but as you spoke into the small radio on your chest you weren’t really thinking about that. It’s not like Hotch would disagree with you anyway.

There’s a few seconds of silence over the radio, even though you know he heard you from the slight jolt in his spine as he reached the front door of the house. “Reid. Tell me that you understand that.”

“Copy,”

You had half the mind to drag him back into the car from that response alone. He clearly wasn’t listening to you, not properly anyway, and having such an emotional involvement in something like this was going to get him killed if he treated it the wrong way.

“Be careful,” Hotch was less antagonistic in his warning, but it held the same message.

Spencer threw an arbitrary thumbs up above his head before knocking on the door of the house and entering slowly with both his arms raised.

Then it was a waiting game. A stalemate where you had to sit with your guns trained and just wait for any sign of change. It was like absolute torture.

It was virtual silence and tumble weeds for the best of five minutes, and then there was a loud gunshot sound that echoed from inside the walls of the house, and all of that waiting felt for naught as you pressed the button on your radio with a steady stream of trepidation raising in your throat that he might not answer you. “Reid? Reid come in.”

You wait for something to come from the other side of the radio, even if it’s just the crackle of static from him pressing the button without actually speaking into it. But all you get is silence, and it makes that sinking feeling grow until you literally feel like you’re about to throw up your stomach.

You don’t think twice about running towards the front door of the house after you don’t get an answer, ignoring the calls of Hotch for you to back down and let SWAT take care of it so he didn’t possibly lose two agents instead of just one.

He knew you weren’t going to listen to him either way.

You open the door with your pistol raised at your eyes, the weight of Spencer’s revolver tucked into the waistband of your jeans acting both as an instrument to ground you and as a torturous reminder that the gunshot you heard couldn’t have possibly been from him.

It had to have come from Daniel.

Logically you should’ve swept the ground floor first before rushing straight into the dining room where you knew the three had been last, in case Daniel had left the room and approached you from behind.

You don’t of course, and you kick open the barricaded dining room door with enough force to splinter the door frame holding the hinge pin in place, the door hitting the wall with a thud.

The sight you’re met with is not what you expected to find.

“Reid—” You drop your gun to your side the second your eyes land on the back of his head, his back to you and his eyes locked on Daniel, lying on his back on the dining room floor with a bullet hole to the side of his head, his blood slowly pooling on the linoleum.

The woman he had hostage was alive too, thank god, practically trying to melt into the corner as she cried into her hands, obviously still in shock over what happened.

“I can’t believe I didn’t see that coming,” Spencer’s words didn’t feel like they were coming from himself as he spoke, his voice feeling detached from his consciousness as his mind focused on fully comprehending the situation.

“I can’t believe how stupid you are—” Your body forces a sharp breath to leave your mouth as it cools don from the adrenaline rushing through your system, and you pull Spencer backwards by his arm to stop the blood from Daniel’s body reaching his shoes. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

“I just- I don’t know,” Spencer gives up on trying to find an explanation for his actions before even really thinking about it. He knows there’s no use, because he really wasn’t thinking, it was just acting on instinct.

“You see this Reid?” You give the radio on his chest a pull with your hand, causing him to stumble forward towards you in the process. “It’s a radio, use it.” There’s no denying the insurmountable rage in your tone as you berate Spencer for his carelessness, something that he most definitely deserves as he stands there nodding at you like an idiot.

You let go of his radio with a small push, sending him stumbling backwards this time, and you take a second to compose yourself before pressing on your own radio to communicate with the rest of the team. “I’ve got Reid and the hostage alive. The unsub shot himself.”

“Copy that, we’re coming in.”

Hotch’s voice may as well be a leaf in the wind as Spencer puts his full focus into how absolutely furious you seem with him.

“I’m sorry—”

”Sorry isn’t good enough.” You ignore the arrival of your teammates in the house, how they carefully guide the hostage outside to get her looked over by the ambulance waiting outside and how they secure the scene for the forensics team to deal with. “You cannot throw your life away by running head first into a dangerous situation knowing you can’t defend yourself.”

“I thought—”

“What? That it’d be fine? That you all of a sudden had all the training you needed to talk down an armed serial killer with serious delusions that could leave you as his next victim?” Maybe you we’re being a bit too harsh on him, but it was important he understood exactly what could’ve gone wrong. “You might be a genius Reid, but you are the dumbest goddamn person I have ever met.”

Spencer presses his lips together into a line at your declaration, lowering his head until his gaze is firmly planted on the floor.

“You are not an expendable resource, you can’t be replaced, and you need to understand that before you throw yourself into a possible line of fire do you understand me?” You ignore the lingering gaze of Hotch as you continue your verbal assault on Spencer, and you know you’ll probably get an earful yourself for being so hard on him, but he gave you a real scare, and you were expressing that to him in the way that suited you most.

“Yes I understand, I’m sorry…” The slight waver of his voice as he responds to you is enough to knock your anger down a peg, and you drag your hand down your face with a sigh.

“We were scared for you Reid, you could’ve died.”

“I know…”

You give another soft sigh at the voice he barely keeps his voice controlled as he whispers out his answer to you, on the verge of tears from your thorough verbal assault.

“Don’t do it again. I thought I’d lost you.” You lift up one of your hands to put it on his shoulder, although it lands closer to the curve of his neck, prompting his face upwards to meet your eyes once more. “And as much as you can be idiotic, the team needs you alive.”

He gives you a soft hum as an answer this time, not trusting his voice to not crack if he were to speak properly.

He tries not to focus on the warmth of your hand on his neck, nor on the fact that you’d said ‘I’ instead of ‘we’ when talking about being concerned for his safety under fear of only worsening his attempts at keeping himself composed.

Your gaze softens marginally as you spot the glassiness of his eyes, and for a second he swears that the protective shield you cover yourself with disappears to show the amount of concern you truly felt for him.

“I’m okay… I promise,” He nods softly at you with rounded eyes. He’s mildly flattered by how much you care, but he doesn’t want you to show it as concern, positive emotions suited you much better he thinks.

“You’re lucky, and it won’t last forever,” You use you hand against his shoulder to turn him around, pushing him gently towards the front door and using the opportunity of him not facing you to swallow the start of your own tears, clearing your throat into your elbow as he takes your lead in leaving the house.

“Reid,” Hotch is on top of the two of you before you even walk out the door. “Go and meet Morgan by the ambulance, I want you checked over,”

“But—“

“Go,” Hotch’s inherent ability to be authoritative trumps Spencer’s resistance immediately, and Spencer begrudgingly leaves your side with a small “yes sir,” to go and be checked out by one of the EMTs.

You attempt to follow him at first, but you’re promptly stopped by Hotch raising his hand in your direction, and then gesturing you over to him.

“Berating somebody for running into a dangerous situation head first with how you responded is very—“

“Hypocritical, I know,” You interrupt the end of Hotch’s sentence by finishing it yourself. “But if he hadn’t gotten into that situation in the first place then I wouldn’t have had to respond the way I did,”

“I understand you care about Reid,” Hotch crosses his arms over his chest, and although there is zero malice in his expression or his tone, you can still tell that he’s not exactly happy with you right now. “But you also need to be more careful with how you handle yourself,”

You narrow your gaze at him a little, and he mirrors it right back at you. “You can’t worry about keeping Reid alive if you’re not alive yourself, you need to be more careful, understand?”

“Yes sir,” The words are almost begrudging as they leave your mouth, but you know he’s right really. Running in after Spencer without a second thought and then berating him for being reckless was hypocritical, and you probably deserved to be reprimanded for it.

—

“You really gave her a scare you know,” Morgan speaks, prompted by Spencer’s very obvious lingering glances in your direction as you speak with Hotch.

“I know,” Spencer sighs dejectedly as he finally removes his eyes from you to allow the paramedic in front of him to check his pupillary response. “She made sure of that,”

“She cares about you Reid,” Morgan gives him a squeeze on his shoulder. “You’re gonna give the poor girl a heart attack if you keep this up,”

“That’s quite dramatic, the chances of somebody going into cardiac arrest from shock is extremely low, only 5% of all cases, and technically it would actually be cardiogenic shock, which isn’t a heart attack,”

“It’s a figure of speech Reid,” Morgan gives him a small playful shove after the paramedic has finished his evaluation, rolling his eyes. “Point is, you scared her, and I don’t know whether to be amazed or concerned at the fact that’s even possible,”

“She’s just as likely to be afraid as anyone else,” Spencer bites his cheek at Morgan’s declaration, unsure whether he should feel guilty or flustered at just how much you seemed to care about him, from the words of the rest of the team anyway.

“I mean yeah we were all worried about you, but she ran head first into the house with a potentially manic shooter inside, by herself, after Hotch told her to wait for backup,” Morgan gives Spencer a light nudge with his elbow, raising his eyebrows with an amused expression. “You know what I call that? Favouritism,”

Spencer lets out a small airy laugh, shaking his head as he stands from the edge of the ambulance.

“Face it pretty boy, you’re stuck with her for life, even if it means she follows you into an early grave,” The teasing in Morgan’s voice is unmistakeable, but his words ring truth either way. “Let’s just make sure you don’t end up in an early grave alright?”

“Yeah—” Spencer lets out another small breath through his mouth as Morgan pats his hand between his shoulder blades, gesturing for Spencer to follow him towards the rest of the team with a nod of his head.

Spencer doesn’t want to cut himself short just yet, especially if that means you’ll serve yourself the same fate. Although the idea of having you accompany him, even if it did mean in whatever lies after death, didn’t sound like too bad of an idea.

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