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#neither is Jason
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*Danny and a Batfam member having a friendly chat at a cafe. They've known each other for a few months now*
Batfam member: "You know, you actually kinda look like B with a few minor differences. Prime adoption bait. Hope you're not another secret love child of his." *laughs*
Danny: *Starts sweating bullets because he is in fact, Bruce's kid but from a different dimension where instead of being a himbo billionaire, he's a himbo ghost hunter named Jack who almost killed him before he got here .* "Haha, you don't say?"
Batfam member: *Clocks in on sudden shift in mood* "Please tell me you're not."
Danny: "So do you want the short and funny story, or the long and sad one? Yes, there's a right answer."
Batfam member: *crying because they can never have a normal sibling*
Danny: Also, do you believe in ghosts?
Batfam member: *cries even more*
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rubydubydoo122 · 5 months
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I saw someone say a while ago that Jason attacking Tim at Titans Tower was just Tim hallucinating bc he was feeling guilty about being Robin even though Jason's not dead. Which is great, amazing, I think the whole Titans Tower thing is Bonkers, but I think it would be so much funnier if Jason tried to Gaslight Tim into believing the Titans Tower incident never happened, not because he's like evil, he's just super embarassed about it. like Or Tim did actually hallucinate Jason at TT but thinks it was real, so when he tells Jason about it, Jason's so fucking confused, and Tim thinks Jason's Gaslighting him
Tim: Remember that time when you broke into Titans Tower and beat me half to death while wearing a Robin costume from party city
Jason: What? Tim, I know i'm crazy, but I'm not...Insane.
Tim, pulling down his collar: I literally have the scar to prove it
Jason: Bruce told me that was from Clayface pretending to be me, which, might I just say rude. Tim... are you ok? Did you hallucinate me attacking you? like, I know I've done that before, but...
Tim, frowning: I don't think I hallucinating. I was benched for a while after because I had to recover-
Jason: well, you were benched around the time I was dropping hints that I knew who Bruce was outside of Batman, he probably just benched you to keep you safe. You probably were working too many cases with too little sleep and your imagination started to run wild.
Tim: Are you gaslighting me?
Jason: Are you gaslighting me?
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nakathemoth · 9 months
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Constantine honest to god thought a child had just been struck by lightning and died by his side
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l-just-want-to-see · 3 months
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isn’t the fundamental tragedy of 18 year old Dick that he wants to be free but instead he is loved and of 18 year old Jason that he wants to be loved but instead he is free
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radiance1 · 2 months
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Danny: Hey, I need you to be my boyfriend for a week.
Jason: What.
Danny: My parents are coming over and I've apparently accidentally talked about a partner more than once and only realized when they said they wanted to meet them.
Jason, currently still solidifying his power as a Crime Lord: Excuse me?
Danny: Let me get this out of the way, I do not consider you at all a person of romantical interest and a friend. But I need you to act as my partner for only a week until my parents go on their merry way over to my sister, okay?
Jason: Is there, quite literally, no one else to ask this?
Danny: You're my only friend who lives in Gotham, plus we share the same apartment.
Jason: That's almost sad.
Danny: You in?
Jason: Sure, why not.
===
Maddie: Danny, honey.
Danny: Yes mom?
Maddie: I don't mean to.... question, who you choose as your parent but. Well, me and your father was just wandering if he was a... [Maddie gestures with her hand] you know, one of those.
Danny, uncomprehendingly staring at his mother's hand: What.
Maddie: Oh dear, how do I bring this up. You know, one of those.
Danny: Mother I need more context.
Jack: If your boyfriend a crime lord!?
Maddie: Jack!
Jack: What? Beating around the bush wasn't helping!
Danny: Say WHAT?
===
Danny: Hey dude, thanks for helping with this even though you didn't need to!
Jason: No problem, I wasn't doing anything too [Crime Lord activities flash through his mind] important.
Danny: Can you believe my parents thought you were a crime lord though? Weird am I right?
Jason:
Danny: Jason. You are scaring me.
Jason: Haha, yea that's weird isn't it?
Danny: Jason.
Jason: Well, I have to leave now to attend to my totally real and totally not crime related job at the ice cream shop.
Danny: [Squints eyes]
Jason: [Internally sweating bullets]
Danny: Suuuuure, bring me back some ice cream though.
Jason: [Thumbs up and leaves]
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ghost-bxrd · 3 months
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Prompt:
Tim is the first to find out the Red Hood’s identity and from then on sticks to Jason during patrol like glue (much to Jason’s chagrin, dammit, it would feel wrong to beat up Robin when he’s that starry eyed…)
Cue: PANIC from the rest of the Batfamily, who still think Hood is a forty-something year old crime lord and now assume they’re dating.
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snoelledarts · 1 month
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“Hey babe does Jason have to come with us on EVERY date?” “He has separation anxiety if I leave him by himself he’ll chew on the doors.” “…Okay…”
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arrowheadedbitch · 2 months
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Jason: Chill out, Tim, it's fine, dude.
Tim: That was the last thing my mom said to me before she died...
Jason: Oh God, I'm so sorry-
Bruce: I thought you said the last thing your mom said to you was "Eat your veggies"?
Tim: I lie a lot.
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panakina · 2 months
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Actually Jason and duke should have a series together, solving magic mysteries and bringing out the worst of each other’s chaos. It needs to be absolutely insane, with their solutions to the problem of the week being even more bonkers than whatever nonsense they’re fighting.
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ew-selfish-art · 6 months
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Dpx Dc AU: Ectoplasm is required for Ghosts to be visible to the human eye- And Danny creates his own ectoplasm.
Danny is visiting Jazz in Gotham and its weird how friendly everyone is. Like, the city gets a really bad rapport, everywhere he goes there is someone trying to strike up a conversation or answer his questions about getting around to the tourist spots. A few people even pointed out restaurants and ways to find off the beaten path gems! Jazz seems to role her eyes at him, but when he brings up her 'roommate' being kind of cute she flat out laughs.
Danny then comes to understand the Jazz doesn't have a roommate and that Ghosts in Gotham don't move far from their haunts- He's just been inadvertently turning these undead folks visible by accident of generating abnormal amounts of ectoplasm.
Which, is comforting in a way, he's never walking this dangerous city alone and really, most of the ghosts have been really friendly! They disappear once he's a few blocks away from them anyway.
---
Tim Drake is having a horrible day.
He'd been given intel that one of Black Mask's guys was going to snitch but that he'd died before given the opportunity to reach out to the GCPD. He tracks down the guy's last know whereabouts and yikes. Its next to the Theater. Tim was often grateful for his childhood obsessions, this time it backfired.
Tim and Bruce get into an argument about trust and respect and, worst of all, mental health. And even though Tim was vehemently against Batman accompanying Red Robin to the alleyway - that's exactly what happens.
They arrive and Bruce is closing up faster than a clam in the contaminated Gotham Bay- Clearly being in the Alley bothers him. No fucking shit. RR gets started on collecting evidence, there are a few extra blood splatters and a single left shoe... When a kid walks into the Alley.
"Uh, sorry to intrude-" The kid looks scared shitless, and runs away. And then, all of a sudden, Batman and Robin aren't alone in the Alley.
Tim can hardly believe his eyes as the dead man appears and quickly blabs Black Mask's bank passwords and what the plan had been- and While he's over joyed to have that closure, he turns around to Batman weeping in the arms of his parents.
The ghosts fade, and the emotions are certainly charged as this was never something Bruce or Tim would have ever dreamed of happening. Ghosts in Gotham. Talking, floating, granting closure.
"RR, Bats, come in." Oracle calls into their ears.
"Reporting in, but, uh, we need a minute."
"A minute? We have a case on 4th and-"
"O, we just saw the ghosts of the Waynes. It's going to be a minute."
"...Lots of Ghost reports lately then. Any chance you saw a kid looking like he could be adopted?"
"Yeah, actually, black hair and blue eyes. He was super polite before he ran away."
"We have work to do. Oracle, lets prioritize finding our person of interest and divert Nightwing and Robin to the case on 4th." Batman cut between them on the comms and he sounded... calmer than either of them anticipated.
---
Jazz is no longer laughing when Batman appears at her door explaining that he's looking for Danny (Who already flew away from town to get a good night's sleep before class on Monday). Turns out Danny reunited the man with his dead parents just briefly- and then the second guy appears and mentions how Danny had also given a guy who'd been murdered by a Mob enough time to explain the ongoing threats the city faced.
Jazz just rolls her eyes and says that it's not like the ghosts are going anywhere anytime soon and Danny will visit in another month. When pressed, she just explains that her brother is a weirdo. No of course he doesn't have powers. Gaslight and Girlbosses her way out.
And Jazz thinks that the game is up for at least another month, obviously when Danny visits more shit will stir up, but then this new guy appears.
Unlike the other Bats who are keen on watching her from a distance, the Red Hood knocks on her door. Are her eyebrows all the way into her hairline when Red Hood asks her to send his thanks along to Danny because somehow this whole situation led to his Dad expressing remorse for his actions and apologizing? Yes, yes they are.
But Jazz can smell Dissertation Data off of these vigilantes- Who is she to send them away? Jazz welcomes Red Hood into her place for a cup of tea and a small chat.
The story then devolves into Jazz getting shit done, Danny being cute by proximity and also bringing ghosts to the party, and the Bats having trauma resolve between them.
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rad-batson · 8 months
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Okay I honestly can’t even explain how this happened but I think I wrote a 50-page-long pilot for a Keeping Up With The Kardashians parody called The Waynes with an Arrested Development kinda feel (based on some tumblr post, everyone’s seen it before) and now I have no idea what to do with it cuz I poured my heart and soul into this comedy shit show (affectionate) like Do I post it here? Do I call up DC and dangle it in front of their faces? Do y’all want snip-its? Do I submit it to a poetry slam? I’m broke af but I need someone else to see it, okay? I worked really hard on it and it deserves an audience >:(
Edit: Here it is!!
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kokoa-la · 10 months
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Prompt from @help-i-need-a-cool-username
Jason has once again snuck into Gotham University. Now, before any assumptions are made onto why the crime lord would break into a college, the reason is because he likes the library. That's it. The public library is trashed and small, barely taken care of, but Gotham U's? It's beautiful. Multiple floors, organized and in sections, taken care of, alphabetical order, it's magnificent. The chairs were a reason alone to sneak in, but the students here added an extra charm. 
He had gone to the very back of the library on the second floor. This area was  pretty well hidden and enclosed. He would come here to read without anyone questioning him, even hiding the books he wasn’t finished with yet to continue on later. Jason wasn’t expecting someone to be so close to his spot though. A few tables across stood a student, thin, tall, with pitch black hair, baggy cargo jeans, and a white t-shirt. The other hadn’t noticed him yet, so he remained quiet and just watched. He was in front of a large white board on wheels, seemingly taken from the rooms he saw down the hall. 
“That doesn’t work, goddammit.”
On the white board was lines upon lines of equations- at least he thought they were equations, with most of them being letters and symbols rather than numbers. It made the vigilante’s brain hurt. The student - assumed STEM major - just kept mumbling to himself.
“Stupid physics, won’t allow interdimensional travel”
What? Jason may have been out of school since 15, but he knew no courses were asking for the answer to traveling between dimensions. It seemed the student had a habit of talking to himself when worked up or focused, possibly why he isolated himself from the rest of the library. 
“If your parents could do it, why can’t you? Think Danny, think!”
That sentence wasn’t concerning at all, but at least Jason learned the boy’s name. Danny seemed to have a strange background, what did he mean by ‘if your parents could do it’? Had his parents managed to travel between dimensions? The other was chewing on the cap of the white board marker, his other hand resting on his hip as he swayed back and forth.
“Oh! Oh! Oh! That! The thing! That thingy!”
Jason could practically see the lightbulb go on above Danny’s head. Just then the other erased a solid portion of the whiteboard and dropped to his knees, ouch. He started frantically scribbling, fast and messy, barely cohesive. Though, Jason was sure that if it was Tim sitting where he was instead, the boy could probably understand everything on that board. He’d stick to English literature, thank you very much. 
“That’s it! Oh my ancients! I got it!”
Danny practically jumped in the air, punching the air in triumph. Jason almost felt proud of him, this complete stranger he’s been watching, wow he was being creepy, huh? Danny shot both of his arms straight up, the marker gripped tightly in his right hand fist. 
“I did it!”
He looked so happy, so excited. He began to buzz, even spinning, before stopping mid loop and turning around slowly. Shit, Jason had been caught. To be fair, Danny hadn’t exactly turned around the whole time, meaning Jason was just watching his back the whole time as he worked through his… problem? It’s such a shame, Jason was thoroughly entertained by this random kid. 
“Uhhh, hi? How long have you been there?”
Oh shit, Jason had to talk now, didn’t he?
“Not very long, but long enough to know you were trying to solve interdimensional travel before apparently succeeding.” 
The color drained from Danny’s face. Whoops?
“Uhm, no I didn’t.”
Now that he got a closer look, the student looked like someone Bruce would adopt. Black hair, clear blue eyes, tan skin, sharp features, the whole nine yards. He was actually fairly attractive, maybe even cute. 
“Really? I could have sworn that you said ‘stupid physics won’t allow interdimensional travel’”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah sure, and I’m a student here.”
“Wait, you’re not a student here?”
“That’d only be true if you were lying.”
“Well I’m not so-”
“Uh huh, sure you’re not.”
“Look dude-”
“Jason.”
“Look Jason, there’s no way that I could solve interdimensional travel, the multiverse doesn’t exist.”
“Look Danny-”
“How do you know my name?”
“I won’t tell a single soul if you explain how you did it to me”
Curiosity won his gambit. Would he regret what he was about to say? Perhaps.
“Maybe over a coffee?”
He knew it was worth it when the marker hit the floor and Danny moved his hand to cover his red face. Well, it wasn’t the first time he’s done something he regrets, maybe this time it’d be a cute STEM major who knows the secrets to the multiverse. 
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aroaceleovaldez · 5 months
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i am overly amused by the au concept of Nico and Jason being heartbreak besties
anyways i had to listen to far too much christmas music for november yesterday so here's them having silly dramatic karaoke
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nelkcats · 11 months
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Stardew and the halfas
When Tucker told him that he needed to relax and recommended a game about being a farmer, Danny frowned and pushed him away. How could it help him to know how long tomatoes took to grow?
However, after a restless night, where his parents had shot him (curiously by accident), the halfa noticed the downloaded game on his computer and sighed. It must have been Tucker, but he had nothing to lose by trying.
He never thought that he would become addicted to said game, or that he would want to marry Sebastian (something about him was just- well, attractive, even halfas weren't immune to falling in love). The problem was that his schedule was strange and Sebastian didn't like any of his gifts!
He started to get desperate and visit forums of the game, found someone who had the same problem with Elliot, and somehow they started talking. Jason seemed pretty frustrated, and they bonded out of mutual frustration. Neither of them was willing to consult guidebooks out of simple pride, but they appreciated the recommendations.
So they bonded over Discord calls, trying each other's strategies, and quickly became friends. To the point that they did a farm in multiplayer. They had spent so much time in the game that they both almost forgot their problems in the real world.
After Danny didn't go online for a while, Jason decided to invite him to Gotham. The boy took a few hours to respond but in the end he accepted.
Tim couldn't believe it when he passed a coffee shop and saw Jason laughing with a guy (very suspicious, in a sweater, and what the hell... were those fangs?), they were both very close to each other pointing at something on their phones and laughing .
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DC Social Media
Dick has lost all of his hot gingers friends to Jason.
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laufire · 24 days
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jason's lazarus pit was golden jason's lazarus pit was golden jasonslazaruspitwasgolden jason's lazarus pit was golden JASON'S LAZARUS PIT WAS GOLDEN
AND PIT MADNESS IS *NOTHING*
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