#dick is NOT having it

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Tim is the first to find out the Red Hood’s identity and from then on sticks to Jason during patrol like glue (much to Jason’s chagrin, dammit, it would feel wrong to beat up Robin when he’s that starry eyed…)

Cue: PANIC from the rest of the Batfamily, who still think Hood is a forty-something year old crime lord and now assume they’re dating.

#misunderstandings #miscommunication #protective batfamily #dick is NOT having it #neither is Bruce #I connected the dots- YOU CONNECTED SHIT #I connected them #Tim is very confused about all the ‘you can tell us if anything is wrong’ talks #are they talking about the one time Jason shot at him? because honestly it was pretty obvious he wasn’t even trying to hit him it’s FINE #if I see anybody add something that comes even CLOSE to ship bashing I shall make this Jaytim out of spite #no bashin in this house nah-uh #maybe some mild joker bashing #but it’s still ok if you like him #let’s keep this ✨harmonious✨ #jason todd #dick grayson #batfam #bruce wayne #robin #tim drake #red hood #fic #Nightwing #Batman #prompts #this is part of my fic roster btw hehe

[spitblaze]

do *you* think with your dick?

I think with my packer

#(yes) #(i have actually gotten into the habit of calling my bottom growth a dick/tdick) #(feels validating. especially bc i dont have the money for phallo) #spitblaze says things #ftm #doin numbers

[arunneronthird]

he will use every chance he gets to be a drama queen and if he doesnt have one he will create one

#i wrote the idea for this drawing down at like 3am #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #red hood #robin #nightwing #batman #dc comics #ladies. gentlemen. you have eaten well. #my art

[unchartedthelostlegacy]

i love graffiti. "comics and jazz are the only american art forms" you forgot graffiti. did you remember graffiti? That art form birthed in Philly and NYC in the early 70s by poor Black kids. that art form that spread all over the world and influenced so many. that's used without irony in commercials when they're trying to appeal to a "young urban" customer.

did you forget graffiti? that racism broken windows theory victim? that reach the establishment takes claiming that it's exclusively violent gang members throwing up those full-color pieces and wildstyle tags in the middle of the night outsmarting fifty security cameras because the billboard was ugly anyway. as if, even if it was, it wouldn't be impressive as all hell. risking brutality and fall damage so your art can occupy the space a gentrified condo named something like "Coluumna" took away from you. proving that despite only assholes affording to live here anymore there's still a soul beneath it. an animal with dripping stripes and teeth that go clack-clack tsssss

#graffiti #it's like how they claim touching a paper that had drugs on it can kill a police officer #manufactured fear of art itself because of who made it #you won't invest in addiction recovery or keeping libraries open or extracurricular programs but you'll sure as hell give cops overtime #so they can beat a kid writing on a shutter #writers have such big dick energy

[redactedrem]

Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

#I have more ideas in my head #but I didn't want to make the post too long #might repost later #might write a small fanfic off of this #I actually don't have life360 but my friend does and I'm basing this off of how she interacts with her mom #batfamily #batfam #headcanon #dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #cardinal tim drake #stephanie brown #spoiler

[malenjoyer]

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#dick grayson #nightwing #robin #tim drake #my art #BTAS #wrong motorcycle but that’s the one I have a toy of so I can be excused…!!!!!!!!!

[violent138]

League members discussing meeting Robin at work:

"Compared to Bats, Robin was a total sweetheart. Ball of sunshine."

"Man, must've been a good day then, the kid I met was a real anklebiter. He pulled out a sword and everything."

"Anklebiter is harsh, the sweet boy I met barely said a word, he just kept asking about Themyscira and the lasso."

"He? I met a blonde girl."

"No, no, black haired boy with blue eyes. We're talking about Robin."

"Yeah same here, blue eyed and tanned."

"Pretty sure he had green eyes. And talked fancy. And kind of scolded me for time travelling."

"The child I met was paler than the moon."

"I'm telling you I met a girl, and she was Robin."

"Well... either we're all wrong or we're all right."

So they arrive at the conclusion that Bats has a shape-shifter for a kid.

#Not particularly original #however still amusing #They conveniently forget how many years have passed between interactions #And also forget that people can have the same“hero” name #Batman #Batfamily #dc robin #like Red Hood (there was another red hood before that) #Bruce Wayne #Dick Grayson #Jason todd #Damian Wayne #Tim Drake #Stephanie brown #This came to me in a fever dream #jla #justice league

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

#star trek #Vulcans #Humans #not based on a specific thing #but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’ #who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field? #like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq #and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first #would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate #and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for #and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance #the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times #they were just dicks #and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it. #it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible #you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier #but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks. #that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on #and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post #but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks #and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be #replaced #hated that couple #if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us #(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀) #liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people #that no one else wanted to be friends with #I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone #this got long sorry 😭

[redsray]

i love the idea of the batfam wearing each other's merch cause like. i know they'd be petty about it. usually they'd wear their siblings merch in (kinda) equal rotations, but they'd change it up depending on sibling squabbles or sibling favours. Tim, walking into the kitchen in a Red Hood shirt: Dick: TIM!? Tim: what Dick: it's Tuesday. you always wear Nightwing merch on Tuesdays. Tim: oh. Tim: you stole my last granola bar, last week. Steph, looking for something in Jason's room: JASON WHY DO YOU HAVE EVERYONE'S MERCH BUT MINE?! Jason, peeking into the room: i have your merch. in the trash. Steph: WHY Jason: you hit me with a blue shell in mario kart last game night. i'm never forgiving you. Damian, sporting a full-on Red Robin hoodie: Tim: woah. what brought this on? you usually only exclusively wear Batman or Nightwing merch Damian: you helped me take that splinter out of Alfred's paw yesterday. Richard on the other hand has recently messed up my painting palette. Dick, from the other room: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! Damian: he'll get over it. Cass, wearing Nightwing merch for the 5th day in a row: Jason: goddamn. what did Dickie do to get in your good graces like this? Cass, smiling: he made me a flower crown Jason: ... that's it? Cass: it was a very nice flower crown. Dick, buying seven Signal shirts: One for everyone. Duke, behind him: Dick, you really don't-- Dick: shhhh, sunshine. everyone will love your new merch. (they all wore exclusively Signal merch for a week straight) Bruce isn't allowed to change up his rotation or not wear someone's merch because he immediately gets accused of playing favourites. He'd rather keep some of his sanity, thank you.

#batfam #batman #cassandra cain #damian wayne #dc comics #dick grayson #duke thomas #jason todd #stephanie brown #tim drake #bruce wore a black bat shirt twice in a row once #cause he mistook it for his own merch #and got flamed by the whole family for playing favourites #he never made the mistake again #they all have mugs with their logos on them btw #source? trust me bro

[clarisse-doodles]

inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is

#sorry this was funnier in my head #but after i read that post I COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT #gen z batkids is the most Cursed thing i've read today and i love it #at first i had so many Thoughts about how my brain CANNOT reconcile tim as anything but a 90s kid but then i read that line about damian and #i feel like they'd mess with him sometimes by randomly quoting memes in unison #almost started to overthink how in This Particular Timeline jason might have missed out on this meme because he was Not Alive #but for the purposes of this silly joke i choose to believe dates are irrelevant #that is all thank you #clarisse doodles #batfam #damian wayne #dick grayson #jason todd

[mysterycitrus]

watching people insist that dick grayson would post thirst traps and tiktoks and overshare online and accidentally reveal his secret identity because he’s open and honest and would never lie as if he doesn’t hate talking about himself and hides from the people he loves and rarely directly says what he’s thinking

u fool!! u have been tricked by the facade!!! a graysons nature is to perform!!

#sorry but that man is not communicating to u or anyone else #that man does not have social media and hides from cameras he would NAHT post tiktoks of a taylor swift concert #dick grayson #nightwing #dc comics #spokes

[starspilli]

dc cowboy doodles & wips !

#diana prince #wonder woman #diana of themyscira #bruce wayne #batman #dc comics #dc #dc fanart #dick grayson #nightwing #koriand’r #kori anders #dickkory #starfire #titans #teen titans #jason todd #red hood #robin #my art #artists on tumblr #i hate how this is laid out HEAD IN HANDS!!! #tumblr formatting my worst enemy #i have so many wips for this i was going to throw in lol but they’re a little tew messy #feels illegal i didn’t include clark in this lol i’m defo going to do more so lmk if any1 has specific requests 👍

[arunneronthird]

#id say im projecting but im not sure im not drawing anime #made myself laugh with the face so i think it works #dick grayson #damian wayne #nightwing #dc comics #batman #my art #ladies. gentleman. you have eaten well. #tumblr fucked up the whole res so click on it thank u

[dieubius]

uhhh. bruce wayne modelling gig. have a good day 🥰

#batman #bruce wayne #fanart #bat family #batfam #brucie wayne #red robin #tim drake #nightwing #dick grayson #robin #damian wayne #blackbat #batgirl #cassandra cain #red hood #jason todd #idek what jason and cass are doing tbh dont ask #just wanted to include my favourite OLDER SISTER YOUNGER BROTHER duo... thats right OLDER SISTER YOUNGER BR- #jason todd was born to have an older sister #anyways i just think bruce modelling would be funny #this is his first gig and the kids are clowning tf out of him #but like. amused pride?? like. like theyre happy for him but too emotionally constipated to express it so theyre making fun of him #its fine the rest of the internet loves it #dieubius

[pokeberry5]

boy hostage (spiritual successor to this)

big brother to the rescue:

#back at it again at krispy kreme #sart #tim drake #dick grayson #dc #dick & tim #some of my favorite things about canon are a) dick being (ferally) protective of tim #and b) that gotham villains refer to robin and nightwing as brothers #idk i love drawing tim a little bloody #he's ok!!! dick got to him on time im realizing he kinda looks dead #oh OTHER favorite thing is those panels of vigilantes where all u can make out of their features are their glowing eyes #(my excuse for not drawing tim's belt is that if he had it he'd've escaped so they must have gotten it off him)

[faeriekit]

"Okay." Danny slowly laid the already cold body back onto the table, ready to slide back it into the refuge of cold storage. "Okay. Dead guy. Stay there."

The body didn't move.

"Fantastic. Now. Hang out while I pour the embalming fluid into the pump, alright? It should only be a minute."

And it usually did; working in a funeral home wasn't extremely glamorous, but it paid the bills, and Danny had already been used to the rhyme and rhythm of negotiating death with the public by the time he sent in his mortuary school application. It had been a transition that made sense. And in the end, the degree had only cost him a few extra years post-graduation and a little dig into student loans, and now Danny had a stable 12-8 job and health insurance valid in the state of new jersey.

Today, though, the pump had that decided enough was enough. With a bang and a boom, the pump spat out a cloud of smoke and clunked uncomfortably.

The dead body sat up.

Danny scrambled over to push it back down. "No. We talked about this. Dead people don't move. If you want to stay here and have me put you back together all the time, you have to stay put. Got it?"

Whatever the weird gold-eye corpses were on in Gotham, they at least listened to him on occasion. They weren't ghosts, per se— they never pinged on any of the ghost detection devices Mom and Dad had packed in his going-away-to-college bag— but they were, despite being occasionally animate, perfectly deceased.

Weird. Danny had never gotten used to it. Still, they came in droves, too eager to sit on the top of the basement stairwell and lurk in the corners and stare endlessly at them with their weird, avian eyes, and sometimes they heralded the arrival similarly weird-ass bodies that had lost their heads or their arms or their limbs through the more conventional channels.

"I'm losing too much thread to all y'all coming in all the time," Danny complained to the dead body, who, at the moment, was the only person present to blame. "Stop getting your limbs cut off. This stuff is expensive, you know. It's a specialty order."

The body didn't even have the courtesy to blink. Rude.

"At least let them bury you this time. Every time one of you darts off when my back's turned, my boss thinks I'm stealing corpses. My coworkers think I'm building my own Frankenstein or something."

The corpse neither verbalized nor blinked, but Danny hadn't expected it to; with a sigh, he rolled the corpse back into cold storage, locked its little door (not that locking it in had ever stopped it) and called it quits for the night.

It's not like anyone was paying him for the extra hours anyway.

#I'm very pro Danny accidentally adopts a whole bunch of Talons #people have definitely done it before but this scene came to me in a vision #a horrible caffeinated vision #could absolutely be an excuse for #talon!dick #talons #dp x dc #faer fic #dpxdc #dcxdp #talon!au #dcu crossover #death tw #well. the funeral industry anyway #medical tw #just in case #corpse tw #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #free to a good home