#brucie wayne

[ahfrickenfrick]

to keep up with the double life

bruce had taken up to making people think he’s awful at keeping things a secret

he has an ‘alt’ account on Twitter that everyone knows is him, commenting underneath all of lex’s tweets, but yet luther can’t pin it down to bruce to file the lawsuit

he’s well known for letting secrets slip during interviews, and for constantly not hiding his facial expressions during press conference

and then there’s all the times he’s publicly fallen into a fountain

so whenever the vague idea pops into somebody’s head that bruce wayne could be batman, they usually just shake their head and go to the next actual possibility

#dc comics #dc #batman #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #dc headcanon #lex luthor #gotham #batman headcanon

[thelibrarian1895]

If your sibling is a rogue then make the best of it

I would like to think that Jason is very Hondo Onakha about kidnapping, very dramatic, fairly polite/chill to the one he kidnapped, minimal trauma, very professional overall but also very theatrical. Out of anyone in Gotham to have as your kidnapper, Jason aka the Red Hood is by far the very best person.

ALL of Jason's family whether they be legal, biological, emotional, or honorary, will absolutely try to convince Jason to kidnap them to get them out of some stupid civilian event. Whether or not Jason will go along with it will depend on several factors such as:

Does this benefit Bruce and get him out of a boring civilian event too? Then so sorry, you're just going to have to suffer!

How busy is Jason at the moment? Because being a drug lord and vigilante is actually pretty time consuming and kidnapping can be a lot of work for potentially very little gain.

What does Jason get out of it? Yes money is all well and good but Jason is rich by his own merits and can just steal from Bruce whenever, there's got to be more to it!

When is the last time Jason has kidnapped this sibling? He can't do it too often or it gets less effective. He has a reputation to maintain after all!

It may also depend on which sib is asking and what they need to be "saved" from.

Dick asks to be kidnapped from a bachelor auction charity? Ha! No chance, sorry Dickie! He will be there though and take pictures and laugh. (And also join all the other siblings who are stalking Dick and the winner of the auction in the event the winner wasn't one of the Bats or an invited member of the JL or Titans using Bruce's money) Dick asking to be kidnapped from a gala or some opening night of trendy place he's at to maintain civilian status? Maybe but the bribe has to be considerable. And it cannot benefit Bruce. Dick's normal bribes consist of taking some tedious part of an investigation over for Jason or getting intel from JL databases for Jason and the Outlaws.

Cass? Anytime and always, favorite sister who can beat him up has special kidnapping privileges, though they did stop for a very long time when some weirdos put out the theory that the Red Hood was in love with Gotham's Princess. (idk if Cass is considered Gotham's Princess in any version of canon but she is to me) Cass does still repay Jason in the form of Black Bat keeping an eye on Jason's territory when he's out of Gotham for any significant length of time.

Tim? He does owe the kid for several incidents and Tim normally doesn't abusive the privilege so he'd probably do it but there does have to be some sort of bribe for appearances sake. Tim usually gets Jason to agree in exchange for pictures of Batman tripping over his cape or in some other ridiculous position. Bonus in Jason's mind if Tim requests a kidnapping when Bruce is off world or otherwise occupied, therefore giving Brucie Wayne's reputation a hit. However if Tim wants to be kidnapped from something where Bruce is also suffering as Brucie, Tim is SOL (Tim might get revenge by getting Kon to wear Red Hood gear and "kidnap" Tim from the event if Jason refused. Kon will do it because Tim asked and also I would like to think that Kon isn't too fond of the guy who beat his best friend/boyfriend nearly to death and will mess with him if given the chance) Since kidnapping normally interferes with things that Tim wants to do however, he may instead bribe Jason to not kidnap a sibling that has asked to be kidnapped. Jason usually obliges this no kidnapping request.

Barbara? Sorry, no, he doesn't want to stress the Commissioner like that. He will, however, kidnap other people for her if she asks.

Stephanie? No Stephanie, he doesn't care what you offer, he's not kidnapping you so you can avoid your finals! Stephanie has, however, worn various wigs and been various hostages who died at the hands of the Hood in order to maintain his reputation. She gets paid in baked goods for her service.

Damian? Damian considered the idea ridiculous and proclaimed he'd never stoop so low and he would carry out his duties no matter how onerous! Damian then had to go to a Gotham gala. Damian is trying very hard to figure out a suitable bribe to get the Red Hood to kidnap him often enough that Bruce will be forced to keep Damian away from galas because of the ongoing security threat. So far it hasn't worked because Damian is very bad at bribing Jason, Jason thinks Damian forced to interact with normal people is funny, and Tim is successfully bribing Jason to ignore Damian's bribery attempts. The Red Hood has "kidnapped" Damian once, as a treat, when he thought the kid was looking particularly down about something.

Duke? Duke has yet to be made to attend any society gatherings as the solo Wayne (normally that falls to Bruce, Dick, or Tim) and can usually be spotted hanging out with Cass by the snack table at any gala or trendy event. He's not at Cass's level of reading body language but he's pretty darn good and he and Cass have reached a new level of being able to avoid annoying rich people while at parties. Duke is Cass's favorite gala buddy. Duke hasn't felt the need to ask Jason to kidnap him yet but Jason will allow the first one to be free of charge, no questions asked. After that Duke hasn't figured out suitable bribes for Jason but has realized that all of his siblings are hyper competitive and that Jason would absolutely wager a kidnapping in a competition or for a bet.

Alfred? If Alfred asked then Jason would without any caveat. Alfred will not ask however but might ask on behalf of someone else and Jason will comply.

Bruce? Jason just laughs. And if someone else is planning on kidnapping Brucie Wayne from a particularly boring business meeting or gala? Jason will actively thwart the kidnapping to force Bruce to continue to deal with social activity.

Jason usually splits a portion of the ransom money into bonuses for his goons since their original job outline is drug dealer/enforcer/mobster and not kidnapper. If they're going to get major felonies on their records, better make it financially worth it. All of Jason's goons are masked during any kidnapping event. The rest of the ransom money goes towards a charity of Jason's choosing.

Jason has also kidnapped people who are not his family or family adjacent. Barbara thought her dad could use a vacation at one point but he didn't have the PTO for it so Barbara had the Red Hood kidnap him. James Gordon experienced the weirdest kidnapping of his life that included some of the best food he'd ever eaten, an extremely soft bed, his pile of books that were on his reading list, and access to the sports games he'd meant to watch. The ransom was successfully paid after he had a week to relax. Gordon was then, as per protocol, allowed time to relax after his "harrowing" event. Barbara forced him to take the time. Strangely enough, some politicians who had been giving the Commissioner a hard time were suddenly very quiet when James Gordon came back, well rested, well fed, and ready to get back to the grind. It, of course, had nothing to do with the very polite emails with pictures attached that they all received while the Commissioner was very publicly out of the way.

Oliver Queen, when he was visiting Gotham, was kidnapped by the Red Hood. He was released after the ransom was paid and specifically he was released back in Star City. Mr. Queen was unavailable for comment after the incident but some sources say that he was cursing bats for some reason.

Lois Lane found herself kidnapped by Red Hood and ransomed by the Daily Planet while Superman was off world. Lois Lane returned safely to Metropolis and published a shocking expose on Luthor's latest scheme. Her sources for the article remain a secret.

Bruce is very grumpy about the whole thing, not just because Jason won't help his poor father get out of the stupid social event, but also because Jason being technically a rogue like this makes it very hard for him to successfully argue that Jason should let himself regain legal living status.

#bruce wayne #batman #tim drake #batfamily #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #gotham #stephanie brown #batfam #duke thomas #damian wayne al ghul #cassandra wayne #red hood #brucie wayne #barbara gordon #alfred pennyworth #selina kyle #timkon #kon el kent #conner kent #tim is my favorite #but he wouldn't be the only one that jason kidnaps #james gordon #lois lane #oliver queen

[vodrae]

Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

#batman #batfamily #batfam #dc comics #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #cassandra cain #batfamily incorrect quotes #tim drake #duke thomas #brucie wayne #stephanie brown #harper row #helena wayne #barbara gordon #batkids #batsiblings #helena kyle #athanasia al ghul #cassandra wayne #kull wayne #aion wayne #terry mcginnis #matt mcginnis #carrie kelley #alina shelley

[who-always-pays-their-taxes]

im obsessed with the idea that gothamites 100% know who all the batkids are, like “ for sure Dick Grayson is nightwing #thebuttsmatch” and they figured out all their identities and who it correlates to, “ofc the newest robin with all the swords is Damian Wayne!!” but they refuse to even consider Bruce and The Batman being the same guy. it just doesn’t make sense?? Brucie Wayne, dressing up as a bat and calling himself vengeance???? as if???? also he’s from bristol???? can’t possibly be Brucie. Like they genuinely believe that Bruce is the father to a whole gaggle of themed vigilantes and just doesn’t know it. Anytime his kids disappear during a gala, he gets a bunch of pitiful looks and he can’t leave bc everyone’s looking at him now??

This actually works into a lot of ppls theories that Brucie is The Batman’s sugar daddy, bc clearly they’re together and co parenting the batkids??

#dcu #batfam #batfamily #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #batman #the batman #batkids #dick grayson #nightwing #robin #damian wayne #damian al ghul #jason todd #tim drake #red hood #red robin #duke thomas #the signal #cassandra wayne #cassandra cain #black bat #stephanie brown #spoiler dc

[alyakthedorklord]

Bruce Wayne, sitting in a cute eco-friendly cafe while on a video call with Tim: Oh Noooo, are you sure there’s no way the board of directors will let us get rid of this old decrepit Wayne Factory building that is unsafe for our workers and also for the surrounding environment?

CEO Tim, with equal gravitas: No, I’m afraid they just won’t budge. It technically meets legal requirements on paper, and we can’t prove that the chemicals affecting the local ecosystem that have no other possible source are from the out-of-date drainage system… they’re saying it would cost too much to fix the place up too, which is ridiculous, because we’re us, but our hands are tied…

Bruce, full Brucie himbo mode: Oh I just feel so SAD for all the sweet fluffy animals and the pretty flowers and especially our hard workers dealing with such unsafe conditions… I think I’ll give them all a nice short vacation this weekend, so the ENTIRE PLACE will be EMPTY and SHUT DOWN from FRIDAY TO TUESDAY, the SECURITY SYSTEM WILL BE DOWN because it’s just so GLITCHY, I’m sure nothing will happen to the ENVIRONMENTAL STAIN ON OUR COMPANIES NAME THAT WILL BE COMPLETELY ABANDONED FROM FRIDAY TO TUESDAY- Timmy do you think I’m being too subtle?

Tim, snickering: no no you’re doing great Bruce I’m sure they’ve got it

Poison Ivy, on a date the next table over: ( ‘-‘)-☕️

Harley, through tears of repressed laughter: so… we doing anythin’ this weekend?

#you know they would #at least once #it’s called delegation #dc comcis #brucie wayne #bruce wayne #harley x ivy #poison ivy #harley quinzel #tim drake #batfam #gotta give the girls enrichment #what do you mean dc doesn’t stand for disregard canon

[dieubius]

The in-universe Gothamite's guide to shipping your resident billionaire 💀

...

Comes with labels

#batman #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #superman #clark kent #superbat #two face #harvey dent #twobats #catwoman #selina kyle #catbat #batcat #green arrow #oliver queen #arrowbat #gotham #dc #dc fanart #fanart #art

[ikiprian]

ugh i know bruce probably has some lame ass ubiquitous american broadcast voice, but SO BADLY i want him to have just. the world’s THICKEST jersey accent

“jason peetah, swear ta god, i’m gonna cawl alfred and get ‘im to tawk some sense into ya. do you want him to know what you been up to? yeah no. yeah no! ‘swhat i thought! yeh breakin ya butler’s heart!!”

#keeping up with the waynes should be a lush soundscape of brucie’s jersey kvetching while his kids fistfight in the bg #bruce wayne #batman #batfam #batfamily #brucie wayne #kipthought

[evaningotham]

i know like 97% of brucie wayne headcanons focus around bruce and the kids h a t i n g the brucie persona

but its so much more fun for me to imagine them absolutely loving it

like bruce gets to be as big of a dumbass as he wants with no repercussions?

i like to think he does shit to imitate/make fun of other celebrities but practically no one gets the joke bc they think brucies just Like That

theater kid jason watches in awe at the character his dads perfected and starts work on his own persona immediately

life long performer dickie grayson wayne looks at the whole thing as a show and the world is his stage

tim just fully leans into the kid genius thing and infodumps any chance he gets, you get i to a conversation with him and walk away knowing about the evolution of different bugs in egypt

cass plays the shy quiet girl but its so obvious she has all of her brothers wrapped around her finger

damian is the worst at it, but takes it SO SERIOUSLY, the entire thing is a mission to him

duke just acts super grateful to be invited all while the rest of the family knows he’d rather be literally anywhere else

#dc comics #tim drake #batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #dickie grayson #dickie wayne #cassandra cain #brucie wayne #duke thomas #damian wayne

[mylifeingotham]

#that’ll shut him up #batman #bruce wayne #robin #gotham #batman and robin #damian wayne al ghul #damian wayne #damian al ghul #damian al ghul wayne #4th robin #damian robin #bruce loves his son #brucie #brucie wayne #batfam #batfamily #diabolical #damian is so disappointed #it’s so funny #funny #hahaha #haha #ha ha funny #the wayne bros #the wayne family #the waynes #the batfamily #batsy #bats

[robintherobiner]

Bruce Wayne at a gala: Oh my goodness, have you met my babies yet?

Person: Babies? I thought-

Bruce, dragging them over to a group of people: Here we go! Meet my precious angels.

Dick, 29: Hi, pleasure to meet you.

Cass, 23: *waves*

Definitely-Not-Jason-The-Dead-Son, 23: Sup.

Tim, 17 21: Ah, nice to see you again. Are you enjoying the gala?

Stephanie, 22: I am not his, or an angel. I am precious though.

Duke, 16: Hi! Have you tried the cupcakes yet?

Damian, 14: Greetings. Goodbye now.

Bruce: Aren’t they adorable? I birthed them all!

Person: But.. But you’re a.. man?

Brucie, beaming brightly: Whats your point?

#dc comics #dc universe #batman comics #batfamily #batfam #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #tim drake #jason todd #damian wayne #dick grayson #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas

[rhinexstone]

I know there’s already been some hcs about Bruce Wayne going on a DC universe version of SNL but I just need to play it out for y’all

The whole bit is that this is the first time Brucie has ever taken anything so serious in his life, like the promo clip where he’s awkwardly standing with the music guest and a cast mate is basically like “I went to this thing called a meeting yesterday, have you guys ever heard of those before?? Wild!!” And Alfred makes a cameo in his opening monologue where he hands him his script on a silver platter.

But the thing that drives his family crazy is that he actually does a skit where he IS Batman. And they’re all freaking out because like holy shit Bruce there’s walking the line and using it as a jump rope. And he won’t elaborate on any of the specifics just that he actually pitched the idea himself.

The skit is basically just “what if Bruce Wayne was Batman” and it’s him trying to stop a mugging, but he immediately takes a tumble (his Instagram story hinted at stunt training and everyone had their theories, but it all being so that he could do a Buster Keaton-esque stunt is so much better). He freaks out at the sound of some warning fire and immediately surrenders despite the mugger really being equally afraid of him, and then a Villain of the Week captures him with ease, and he flirts the entire time he’s being dragged away.

He fucking kills it for someone without an acting background (to most people’s knowledge) and from that point on it’s a running joke/meme for gothamites to post or talk about what Bruce Wayne Batman would do in place of regular Batman

#dc comics #bruce wayne #batfam #Gotham #batman #brucie wayne

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

What if everyone in Gotham knows who Batman is? They all know, they just don’t say anything. It’s not something that is spoken of or acknowledged in any way, other than the occasional glance or shared look of understanding. But they all know. Except for Brucie Wayne. Lord bless their himbo sunshine child, but he seems to be the only person in Gotham that doesn’t know who Batman is. He must be protected at all costs.

Everyone in Gotham knows who Batman is. (They’re wrong)

#batman #gotham #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #himbo bruce is the best bruce #bonus if all the kids know what everyone else thinks and just continue watching with glee #what do you mean dc doesn’t stand for disregard canon

[mild-and-hammered]

"Clark can't handle Brucie Wayne, ooh Clark gets all flustered around Brucie" I mean...sure.

But imagine how flustered Bruce gets when Clark actually flirts back

#superbat #superman x batman #brucie wayne #bruce wayne #clark kent #batman #superman

[thealexanderfiles]

Broke: Bruce wayne uses his batman voice to spook his children at 2 am to get them to stop playing video games

Woke: Batman used his Brucie Wayne voice to interrogate JL criminals in custody in a sealed, soundproof room untill they're begging to be let out and give up the information freely

Hyperwoke: Brucie Wayne and his ensemble of children attend the met gala in their full vigilante costumes and Brucie flirts aggressively with anything that moves

Superhyperwoke: Brucie Wayne and his ensemble of children dress up in fifteen dollar Walmart knockoff versions of JL members and go on a sightseeing bus tour of Metropolis.

#bruce wayne #batfam #batman #dc comics #dc universe #brucie wayne #dick grayson #tim drake #stephanie brown #gotham #red hood #red robin #jason todd #nightwing

[fakeicecubes]

I truly think that Bruce would protect his kids with his life from the media/paparazzi. Like when he first adopted Dick all articles surrounding him and his parents death vanished. Or how he played up his Brucie performance when Damian first went to a WE gala because he’s never had to deal with the press before. And I KNOW it killed him when Jason’s death was announced but that was the one thing they couldn’t keep from the media.

One day, pre-identity reveal, Clark goes to a charity gala and asks a young Tim drake and Cassandra Cain about their opinions on the subject. A BUNCH of reporters are giving him looks but Clark can’t tell what for. Until Bruce Wayne walks up to with a stone cold expression. But Clark was perfectly polite and Tim and Cass tell Bruce they actually enjoyed expressing their opinions. The next day in the Planet their words weren’t twisted. And now whenever article comes out about the Waynes(still a rare occurrence but it’s something) it’s written by a certain Clark Kent.

#batfam #batman #superman #clark kent #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #superbat #dceu #dcu #dc comics #dc universe #fuck the paparazzi #-Brucie Wayne

[queenofthequillandink]

Funniest possible stance for Brucie Wayne to publically take is a firmly-rooted belief that Batman doesn't exist.

"I've never once been rescued by this so-called hero and I've been kidnapped 14 times already this year."

"Why would the police summon him with a giant lantern? Wouldn't that make more sense for Mothman?"

"I know what you can do with Photoshop, these doctored pictures can't fool me! Tim's a whiz with photos, have you seen his latest exhibit..?"

"Vigilantism is illegal, you can't do that."

#brucie wayne #batman #bruce wayne #dc comics #original