alyakthedorklord - Tumblr blog

alyakthedorklord · 1 month

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Asexual labels explained using cereal

You are in a kitchen, opening a pantry door. It contains every brand of cereal in existence.

Libido- How hungry you are

Sexual Attraction- How appealing each cereal is to you

Sex-Repulsed- The mere act of eating cereal disturbs you. You flee the kitchen to watch Netflix instead.

Sex-Indifferent- Someone brings you a bowl of cereal. Even though you don’t crave cereal, you decide to eat some anyway. Maybe because you want the person to feel happy you’re eating something they provided you. Maybe you’re just that hungry. Regardless, you’re fine with eating it since it’s already there. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t care either.

Sex-favorable- Though you don’t particularly crave cereal, the act of eating cereal is enjoyable. So enjoyable, you go through the trouble of picking a brand to eat.

Asexual with low/no libido- You are rarely hungry, and none of the cereal appeals to you.

Asexual with average/high libido- You are often hungry, but none of the cereal appeals to you.

Aegosexual- Eating cereal sounds fun in theory but not in practice. You certainly have no interest in eating cereal yourself. You’d rather fantasize about other people eating cereal, thankyouverymuch.

Gray Asexual- You only like Lucky Charms and Apple Jacks. And maybe Fruity Pebbles but you’re not quite sure.

Demisexual- You see a box of Trix. You are familiar with the rabbit on the box, due to the commercials you’ve seen. You always sympathized with the rabbit for never getting any Trix. There are things in life you’ve wanted but have never gotten. You feel a bond with the rabbit. Suddenly that box of Trix looks tasty.

Fraysexual- You see a box of Cocoa Puffs. You have never heard of Cocoa Puffs in your life. But something about it is oh-so-appealing. You pour yourself a bowl. As you start to eat, you catch a commercial for Cocoa Puffs on TV. You now know what the mascot on the box is like. You lose interest in Cocoa Puffs for reasons you cannot explain.

Lithosexual- You notice a box of Fruit Loops. You feel an urge to eat it. Toucan Sam comes to life and asks you to eat them. This makes you uncomfortable, so you leave to watch Netflix with the sex-repulsed ace.

Reciprosexual- You have no interest in any of the cereal. Not even that box of Frosted Flakes. But Tony the Tiger shows up wanting you to eat the Frosted Flakes. Now that he wants you to eat Frosted Flakes, you want to eat Frosted Flakes.

Cupiosexual- You want to eat cereal, but none of the cereal looks appealing. Maybe if you grab that box of Corn Flakes, it’ll become appealing to you later? It’s happened to other people. You consider grabbing that box of Corn Flakes, just in case.

Orchidsexual- Some of the cereal looks appealing, but you have no interest in eating cereal.

Aceflux- None of the cereal looks good, so you close the pantry. A few days later, you decide to open the pantry again. Now, some of those brands look appetizing. You check the pantry again the next day. None of the cereal looks good anymore.

Quoisexual- You have no idea if you like a cereal because you want to eat it, or if you just think the box art is pretty. Does liking the box art count as wanting to eat it? Do you just like the mascot? Does liking the mascot count as wanting to eat the cereal? After reading everything I’ve written, you are still confused. You bang your head against the pantry in frustration.

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alyakthedorklord · 1 month

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Okay but Bruce unironically has the Batmobile, the Batcave, the Batcomputer. Batarangs. He’d probably just deadpan go with it. Pulls something out in a justice league meeting. It’s got a label on it. “Yes, this is a batsnack.” He tells a bemused (and hungry) Flash. Batmace. Bat-tery. Batbucket. He doesn’t give a shit. He thinks it’s hilarious. He would religiously refer to everything they labeled as bat-thing. To the point where either even the kids would get tired of it, or they would gleefully double down.

Pig latin but it’s bat speak where every noun has “bat” in front of it. They’re looking commissioner Gordon dead in the eyes and telling him the batscanner has picked up traces of batevidence from the batwheels of the batcriminals batcar indicating some trace amount of batcocaine. Gordon exhausively turns to Batman. “What’s going on.”

“Batprank gone too far.”

“Why.”

Batman shrugs. “Batchildren are having batfun.”

The only time when all the batkids will work together in perfect harmony is to prank Bruce.

And for the best prank all they needed was a few label makers.

Labels are put on everything.

On every mug, on every plate, on every bandaid package.

The chocolate bars are labeled "BatSnack".

The fruits become "Batana", "Batricot" and "Batermelon".

Every button on the microwave, every key on the keyboard, it all gets a label.

"Batstop button", "Batstart button", "Bat-A-key", Bat-Enter-key".

Bruce's desk isn't simply the "Batdesk". It is the "Batwood construction surface".

There is a label beneath the desk too.

Originally named "underside of Batwood construction surface".

It takes days, weeks, months to remove all the labels.

Until one day, when Bruce makes a few new installations in the cave.

Surely some higher being is laughing at him right now, Bruce thinks, as he pulls of the last one.

"Batceiling"

#batfamily #batfam #batsiblings #this man CANONICALLY calls things bat-tery and batbucket #batchair #you try to mock him? you fool #you’ve activated his sense of humor

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alyakthedorklord · 2 months

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Ok but I’m imagining the school getting attacked or something and a kid prays to Phantom. And Danny is in the middle of THE most annoying meeting. So, you know. He’s absolutely taking the out.

Cue MASSIVE FUCK OFF ELDRITCH HORROR appearing over the school

Goons: 😱☠️

Students:🫵😧

Batman, who showed up like 10 seconds after danny: 🦇🙄

Danny: O̷h̴ ̴H̴e̴l̸l̷o̴ ̵B̷a̷t̴m̴a̸n̴ ̵I̷ ̸a̸p̵o̴l̴o̷g̷i̵z̶e̸ ̴f̸o̷r̷ ̶i̵n̸t̶r̷u̸d̴i̴n̶g̶ ̷u̵p̶o̶n̷ ̸y̸o̸u̶r̵ ̵h̵a̴u̵n̵t̶ ̷b̵u̸t̴ ̷m̷y̴ ̸s̸t̵u̷d̴e̴n̷t̷ ̷c̶u̴l̵t̶ ̶c̸a̸l̴l̶e̶d̷ ̴f̶o̵r̸ ̴m̷e̷.̸ ̷I̷ ̵w̶i̵l̵l̵ ̶n̵o̴t̸ ̵o̵v̵e̶r̸s̶t̸a̸y̶ ̷m̵y̵ ̸w̶e̴l̶c̶o̶m̵e̸.̴ ̸

Batman: Your… student cult.

Danny: I̸ ̶d̸o̴ ̵n̶o̸t̸ ̴k̵n̴o̵w̶ ̴h̷o̶w̵ ̵t̸h̶i̶s̸ ̵h̴a̶p̸p̸e̵n̴e̷d̸.̸ ̵I̷ ̴w̷a̴s̴ ̴t̴o̸o̷ ̸b̶u̷s̴y̷ ̵b̵e̶i̶n̸g̷ ̸d̴e̷a̶d̶ ̷f̸o̸r̴ ̸c̶o̶l̴l̶e̵g̶e̵.̶ ̵T̴h̵e̸y̸ ̶f̷e̸e̵d̵ ̷m̴e̴ ̸g̸r̵e̶e̸n̷,̵ ̴I̴ ̸g̴r̴a̸n̸t̵ ̸p̷e̵a̸c̵e̸ ̴o̶f̸ ̷m̸i̵n̵d̷.̷ ̸I̸ ̶l̷o̴v̸e̶ ̷t̵h̸e̴m̷.̵ ̷B̷u̶t̵ ̴I̶ ̶a̸m̷ ̶m̶uc̷h̵ ̴m̶o̶r̸e̸ ̵s̴u̷i̶t̶e̵d̸ ̴f̵o̴r̸ ̶t̴h̷i̶s̴.̵ ̶

Batman: For… this?

Danny, growing teeth as they speak, approaching the joker with Intent: Ĭ̷̜̖͚͙̞̥͔̤̘͎̩̻̲̱̎̉͛̾́͠ ̸̨̨̧̨̧̦̮͖̖̳͓͙̜̩̤͕̞̓̓̿̈̏̾̌̎̈́̈́̚͘̕̕H̸̺͈͍̟̟̲̱͖̖̜͕́̆́͜A̸̲͕̯̬̭̿̋͊̃͌̈̆͘͜T̴̟̼̲̖̰̻̪͑́̾͜E̶͕͈͖͉̿̽ͅ ̴̧̨̛̯̭̘͙̟̜̤̦̬͌̓̃̓̈́̉̽̿̋͗̌́͋̉̈́̕C̵̳̣̭͎̝̦̘̟̺̬͈͇̼̹̖̘̥̆̂̏̾͋͘L̴̡̹̦̠̗̮̰̝̦̼̤͔̥̤̳͗̄̃́̔̚O̴̗̦̲͈̎͂W̷̘͑̏̇̿̍̄̅̇͜N̷͉̎̄̈S̵̡̛͕̦̳̥̝̺̤̆̈́͋͊͌̿̈́̓͘̚͝͝

(Plain danny text 1: Oh, hello batman. I apologize for intruding upon your haunt, but my student cult called for me. I will not overstay my welcome.

2: I do not know how this happened. I was too busy being dead for college. But, they feed me green, I grant peace of mind. I love them. But I am much more suited for this.

3: I HATE CLOWNS

Patron God/Ghost King au

where after a few centuries of boredom, Danny gets a sudden influx of college student worshippers but it's not too worrying since all the offerings he's gotten so far are just different snacks ranging from crackers to a full bowl of mac n cheese. Without any other options, he goes to the only halfa he knows who had finally settle down from dimension travelling to studying in a dimension where she knows the people wouldn't need an extra helping hands of a hero.

King Danny "get me out off paperwork" Phantom: Heya Dani, do you know if something happened that resulted in mass worshipping?

Danielle "I built a shrine of my brother in the empty storage closet of my dorm building to see if it would work" Phantom: gee golly I have no clue on what could have happened to result in that

Words tend to spread really fast especially when it comes to tired students who has nothing else to lose. Besides, after leaving a a potato chip on the creepy looking shrine in the storage room and feeling a strange wave of calm/relaxed/focus and passing that paper you've been struggling with for the whole year, who wouldn't keep doing it and leave even more snacks.

Next thing you know there'll be a creepy little shrine piled with snacks on top of it in empty storage rooms of different college and universities. Eventually the students find out what to call their entity of calm after one claimed to left their notebook in the storage only to find a little scribble that says Phantom in that slightly glowing and possibly toxic green ink.

---------------------------------

In hindsight, Tim should have probably stayed at home and rest after staying up all night finishing a paper due the day after tomorrow but Bruce had asked if he wanted to tag along the JL meeting with the JLD because of... whatever it was Bruce mentioned so who in their right mind would say no to that. So now here he was half listening to the banter meeting about some eldritch entity that could be a threat to humanity and what offering should they provide to complete the summoning. Of course after hearing a familiar name of his preferred deity of submitting papers on time, the delirious boy never even registered what he said.

Tim "barely conscious on his 11th cup of Pedro Pascal's Starbucks order" Drake: Phantom?? give 'em poptart... green flavour...

[this was just a fun little thought but I might add on to it from time to time]

#dpxdc #next day drawings of dead clown appear on dannys shrine #of course #also portraits of him #he hangs them in his castle

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alyakthedorklord · 2 months

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Agent D to watchtower

(Fic)

Flash And Green Lantern, bored, stuck on monitor duty at the watchtower, cheerfully badmouthing batman together when a notification rings through the room.

Hal snaps to attention, because notifications on monitor duty don’t usually mean good things, but at least they’re things.

Oh holy crap that’s Batman’s caller ID.

Green Lantern and the Flash do NOT scramble like kids caught staying up badmouthing a parent at a sleepover, sending chips and cookies flying. They are professional world savers. Incredibly powerful men. Yep.

“Batman!” The Flash squeaks. “Whats- uh. Whats the situation?”

Whatever it is has to be dire. Batman never calls for help, ever. So it has to be a really big problem. Unless he’s spying on them. And is about to growl at them for talking behind his back.

The line is silent for a few moments, just long enough for Hal and Flash to trade terrified looks, and then…

“This is Agent D, reporting in.”

That voice is not Batman.

It’s not Batman’s deep, growly baritone. It’s slightly accented, boyish and light, despite the serious tone to it as whoever the voice belongs to whispers into the communicator.

Too young. Far too young. Thats a kid.

Hal checks the ID- yep, this is Batman’s communicator. How on earth does this kid have it?

“Uh… nice to meet you, Agent D. Can you tell me what’s going on? How are you calling us right now?”

“I’m deep in enemy territory.” The kid whispers, which isn’t really an answer but definitely catches Hal’s attention. The kid is whispering like he’s scared someone- or something- will hear him. “The darkness is endless. Any and all sound travels here- it’s a massive echo chamber. This is his territory. I’m not sure if I’ll make it out of these caves- if he hears me, I’m done for.”

“Whoa, whoa, hang on.” Hal says quickly, eyes wide as he stares at the indicator on the screen. “What’s going on? Where are you? Do you need help?”

“Negative on the extraction.” What the hell? Who is this kid? Who taught him to talk like that? “It’s too late for me. But I have urgent info the Justice League needs to hear!”

Hal and Flash exchange a concerned look. The kid knows he’s got a Justice League communicator. It isn’t just some random thing he’s picked up.

“We’re all ears, kid.” Flash says.

“Alright,” the kid says seriously, taking a breath like he’s bracing himself for the words he’s about to say, Hal and Flash leaning closer to the monitor as they wait for whatever he has to say. “Batman…”

“…is a butthead.”

Hal stares at the monitor.

Flash stares at the monitor.

“…what?”

“Batman is a butthead.” The kid repeats. “A stinky butthead. He’s mean and old and dumb and a big butt.”

Is there something in his ears? Is there something in the Doritos making him hallucinate? Did a kid really steal Batman’s Justice League Communicator to call him a butthead?

“He’s such a big butthead, we should call him Buttman instead of Batman.” The kid is saying, glee seeping into his serious tone. “There goes Buttman, in the Buttmobile.”

“These are-” Hal begins, then has to stop to let out a laugh or else he won’t be able to maintain a serious voice for the game they’re apparently playing. Flash has his hands pressed over his mouth, shaking. “These are serious claims, Agent D. Do you have any proof?”

“Yes!” Agent D announces. “He makes me wear PANTS and do GRAMMAR! And! And last Wednesday he wouldn’t let me have dessert, and he won’t take me on patrol with him, and! He was mean to Agent A! Even though Agent A is just worried about him because he got hit on the head and got a concussion because he doesn’t have a skull to protect his brain and his head is all squishy like a Butt!”

Hal is nearly crying with the effort it takes to hold in his laughter, clutching onto the desk for support. Thankfully, the Flash has recovered enough to play along with a shocked gasp.

“Is that why he wears that Armored Cowl?” He asks Agent D. “To protect his squishy head?”

“Yes.” The kid insists, voice dripping with vicious glee. “I saw him take it off once and he doesn’t have any hair. He’s wearing underpants on his butt head.”

“Is it… is it special underwear? Or just normal?” Flash asks, grinning madly and shaking as well. “He doesn’t have legs on his head to wear it right, so-”

“The ears on his cowl are the legs.” The kid says immediately.

That mental image is enough to bring Flash down to the floor beside Hal, cackling madly. They get ahold of themselves, swallowing down their laughter to get back to the kid, but then they lock eyes, setting them off all over again as Agent D’s giggles echo through the comm line above them.

“I can’t- oh god, I can’t breathe.” Hal gasps, clutching at his chest. “Fu- um, gosh, I needed that.”

“I’m never going to be able to look him in the eye again.” Flash wheezes. “That’s an image that’s going to stay with me forever.”

“Good. Memorize it: this information will not be repeated.” The kid says seriously, deepening his voice in what is clearly meant to imitate Batman. Flash cackles again.

“In all seriousness, kid.” Hal says, crawling his way up to the desk to stare in bewilderment at Batman’s caller ID. “Where did you get this communicator? It’s meant to be a secure line. Emergencies.”

“Well,” Agent D says, voice lightening out of his Batman imitation and into a tone of sweet, angelic innocence, “he shouldn’t have left it out in the open then.”

“I didn’t.”

Both Hal and the Flash freeze, hearts stopping in their chests at the familiar angry growl.

Batman.

“Uh oh.” Agent D mutters.

The next thing they hear is the flurry of motion- the thump of the communicator being jughled, the scraping of cloth and shoe on stone, the whoosh of the communicator being swung through the air, and the patter of feet running full tilt.

“ROBIN!” Batman’s voice shouts, the only response a cackle of young laughter.

“Run, little man!” The Flash urges, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Go go go!”

“It’s too late!” Agent D shrieks. “It’s too late! The Buttman is coming! Remember me! I sacrificed myself for the greater good! Like the spies who got the death star plans! Remember me!”

“It’s not over yet!” Hal cheers, even if he knows theres no escaping Batman. “Evasive maneuvers! Keep going!”

“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!” Agent D bellows, but a moment later the sound of running is cut off with two grunts, one much deeper than the other, and the sound of a scuffle.

Scrabbling and slapping of little kid hands on kevlar armor can be heard between thumps of the microphone hitting something. Finally, the sound settles, enough for Hal and Flash to hear Batman mutter, “you sure about that?” as Agent D groans dramatically.

A moment later, Batman’s voice comes over the communicator clearly for the first time.

“Batman to Watchtower.” he says, voice flat and businesslike as ever despite the kid gighling madly in the background. “Comms have been compromised.”

“We noticed.” Hal smirks. And Batman was the first to let the secure line get infiltrated! He’s never letting him live this down.

“The perpetrator has been apprehended, and will be punished accordingly.”

“Aww, no, Batman, come on.” Flash wheedles on behalf of his new buddy. Hal is kind of worried too- Batman won’t be too hard on the kid, will he? “Agent D was just having some fun!”

“Yeah, don’t be a butthead!” Agent D shouts, before giggling again.

“You know you’re not supposed to be down here alone.” Batman grumbles. “This is probably one of the safer things you could have picked up. And it can send a distress signal that can summon the entire justice league. What would you have done if Superman decided to smash his way through the cave?”

“I know how to use it!” Agent D complains. “I’m not stupid! I’m good with technology, and you showed me how in case of emergencies!”

“And this was an emergency?”

“A boredom emergency.” Oh god, Agent D is sassing Batman.

“Seriously, Spooky.” Hal interrupts, because he’s actually a little worried for Agent D, “whats his sentence?”

Batman huffs, and then there’s a grunt and a small oof like he’s readjusting his grip on Agent D. “Considering this isn’t his first offense of the night…”

“I’ve done nothing! I’m innocent! I want a lawyer!” The sounds of struggling come through the communicator, but Hal doesn’t think it’s working very well. The kid is trying to escape Batman, after all. “You’re always saying we can’t be judge, jury, and executioner! Put your money where your mouth is! I want a lawyer!”

“Alright.” Batman hums, much to Hal’s shock. Is he really playing along with the kid? “Green Lantern. I’m promoting you to Lawyer. Answer my next question carefully.”

Still a little shocked, all Hal can say is, “um… okay?”

“What is twenty-four minus twenty-four?”

Hal frowns. That doesn’t sound like a lawyer question. “Excuse me?”

“Twenty-four minus twenty-four.” Batman repeats.

“Uh… zero?” Why does Batman need him to say this? Doesn’t he know math? Can’t he whip a calculator off that belt of his? It wouldn’t surprise Hal in the slightest. Hardly the weirdest thing Batman’s got on there.

“Lets add some words to that problem.” Batman growls. “If I had twenty-four cookies before someone was left unsupervised in the kitchen, and none after… then how many cookies are currently rallying for a stomachache against Agent D?”

Hal won’t lie. That’s impressive. The kid doesn’t sound grown enough to have a big stomach. “Twenty-four.”

“No!” Agent D shrieks. “No!”

“Sounds like an admission of guilt from your lawyer.” Batman growls. Oops. Hal forgot that was his job! He should have dodged the question!

“No! Leading the witness! Your question was a trick!” Agent D shouts, in an impressive show of melodramatics. “I want a better lawyer! This one sucks! I bet this guy didn’t even go to law school! Also, he wasn’t given all the relevant evidence or time to prepare his arguments! ALSO also he was appointed by the opposition! Rigged jury! I want a retrial!”

How old is this kid?

“Nope, too late. Welcome to Gotham, chum.” Batman huffs. “Now then, stealing a Justice League Communicator, eating all of the cookies, which were meant for both of us and I was very much looking forwards to, and calling me… Buttman.”

He growls the last word, and Hal watches Flashes fist teleport to his mouth to hold in the bark of laughter threatening to escape. The serious way he said that stupid name… even Agent D has stopped his dramatics in the face of the court to cackle!

“Don’t laugh.” Batman growls, in exactly the same tone that made them laugh in the first place. “I am deciding your punishment.”

“You can’t do anything!” Agent D jeers. “I already told the Justice League that you were actually a Butthead! I’ve eaten all the cookies! All twenty-four tasty, tasty cookies and you can’t have any! I’ve won! There’s nothing you can do! You’ll never get your cookies back!”

“Is that so?” Batman hums, and if Hal didn’t know better, he might think Spooky was smiling. “Well then. I guess I’ll have to tickle you until you toss your cookies.”

“Wait- no!” The kid shrieks, and then the communicator breaks off into peals of desperate, full bellied laughter, interspaced with pleas for mercy and one final, deep voiced line.

“Batman, out.”

The comm channel is cut, leaving the Watchtower’s occupants in an echoing, shocked silence.

Tickles? TICKLES? Batman, the hardass of the Justice League, the no-nonsense, work no play, spooky scary bastard… left his communicator where a kid could get it. A kid who stole all of Batman’s cookies. Who Batman retaliated against for stealing his cookies with tickles.

And his voice had been… not non-growly, but lighter than Hal has ever heard it. Ever. The kid had seemed completely at ease with him, mocking him, grumbling about homework and treats. It was almost as if…

“Oh my god Batman is a dad.” Hal whispers into the silent room, eyes wide. “This is the greatest thing to happen to me ever. I’m so glad I decided to stay to keep you company.”

“So am i, so you can tell me later i didn’t hallucinate that.” Flash says fervently. “He’s a dad. He’s a dad to the giggliest kid I have ever heard in my life.”

“He punished his kid with TICKLES.” Hal wheezes. “His kid calls him a butthead for making him do homework- oh my GOD. His kid grabbed a JUSTICE LEAGUE COMMUNICATOR- he knew exactly what that thing was!”

“Came on the line like a proper secret agent!” F agrees, vibrating. “Oh my god, please tell me we have that saved. Do we have that saved?”

“Quick- before spooky deletes it!”

#dick grayson #bruce wayne #batman #robin #justice league shennanigans #found this in my notes app #here you go #enjoy

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alyakthedorklord · 3 months

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Fight Club

Damian is sitting on a roof during a patrol, bored with no crime happening in his area, about to go find one of his siblings and annoy them/steal their jobs, when suddenly a voice comes out of nowhere.

“Hey, are you busy?”

He turns around, startled by how he hadn’t sensed anyone, to see a girl about his age with black hair and blue eyes just… sitting there.

“I am capable of assisting you.” He says, because he is trying to be a Good Robin and not dismiss civilians.

“Oh no I don’t need anything.” The girl says, shrugging. “If you’re on a stakeout i can go. I’m just bored. And you look fun to fight.”

Damian stares at her. She stares back.

“You think… I would be fun to fight.” He repeats. She doesn’t look like she could take on a trained assassin. She looks like any random civilian. Then again, she had snuck up on him.

“Yeah.” She shrugs, as if this is in any way normal. “So. You too busy?”

“…no.”

“Oh, awesome.” The girl bounces to her feet, and in the next second, Damian is ducking a punch as she grins brightly at him.

“I’m Dani by the way!”

#dp x dc #dpxdc #they are having fun #they keep meeting up to fight on slow nights #Nightwing shows up to find robin in the middle of a fight #with a random girl #cheap shots biting pulling hair the works #tries to seperate them only for them both to be incredibly offended #serious chaos

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alyakthedorklord · 3 months

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“He would take care of the children of a very wide age group”

Does Tim count? I think Tim should count. Jason makes sure there’s no immediate danger and then sends Tim “undercover.” In the notes he specifies he needs naptime. Tim is incredibly offended. He does not stop being offended when he starts being healthier.

Tim or Damian.

Or BOTH.

Danny does the scruff-damian-like-a-cat thing bc he’s a liminal baby and it WORKS. And Danny sends a clone to have a wrestling match with him. Or lets him train kids in self defence.

Tim thinks damian has been mind controlled into training a child army. And he’s going to do something about it. He is. Right after he gets away from this stupid naptime teacher (nocturne).

The Daycare

Danny moves to Gotham after Lady Gotham themselves asks for his help.

Gotham's natural ecto has been deteriorating, and considering ecto was what held everything in existence together safely this was a major problem for Lady Gotham.

If Gotham got too bad it would spread to the rest of the world, and could cause it to cease to exist entirely.

So Danny came, as the Ghost King he had the power to filter in great amounts of the corrupt ecto just by being in the city.

But part of his obsession was protection & helping, Gotham already had a lot of help (Batfam). So he decided to focus on helping not with the problem at the top (villains), but with the problems at the bottom.

The problems at the bottom that would be the root cause in breeding more problems.

After all, many didn't start evil, but need and desperation pushed them towards that path.

So Danny moved to the worst part of Gotham, The Bowery.

What did he do there?

Why open a Daycare of course!

Many parents could not get a good or stable job simply because they needed to look after their kids and could not afford to pay the daycare fee.

Danny wasn't worried about money after all the coffers that he inherited as king would take forever to even make a dent in it, and that's only if he was living a very lavish lifestyle everyday for several human generations.

With this in mind his Daycare fee was pretty much nothing.

He would take care of the children of a very wide age group, while the adults could focus on getting a decent job or even returning to school for a higher education for better opportunities.

How does he care for so many children?

He duplicates himself of course!

At least in the very beginning, after a while he begins expanding his Daycare offering classes and tutoring to the children as well as free food at all times.

Who's helping him ?

His ex-rouges and other ghosts who volunteered.

Lunch Lady absolutely adores having so many people and kids to make food for, and Box Lunch can socialize and play with the other kids while she works.

Ember even volunteers to be the music teacher!

Danny has the help of many ghosts who once they heard his plans were very excited to help, many having the obsession with teaching children or in general. Other ghosts helped with building, expanding, and just generally helping maintain the building in great shape. Even building a very diverse and fun playground.

Of course all this catches the attention of Red Hood. Danny just appears one day on his territory with many others and practically having a building appear out of nowhere with how fast it was built, asking literal pennies to take care of the children, and free food for anyone who asks.

All that gains a lot of attention and is rather suspicious.

But the crime rate has been going down since he opened, which is a good thing.

But many people don't want good things and decide messing with Danny and his Daycare.

Unfortunately for them cuz Danny is absolutely down for violence if he's protecting what's his.

Villain: "What a lovely place you have here would be a shame if something were to happen"

Danny who has the audacity to fight Gods and win: "Someone call an ambulance! But not for me!

Also Danny: "These hands are rated E for everyone"

Other people:"Should we call someone for help?"

The ghosts:" Nah, let him have his fun he needs his enrichment"

Red Hood: "He's very suspicious"

Danny is absolutely covered in paint and singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with the young kids: "Ah yes I'm totally doing normal Gothamite behavior"

Lady Gotham is having some self care spa time she's having a grand time: "Should I warn the young king of the other halfa (Jason)? Hmm best not, it'll be more entertaining if it happens naturally"

Just an Idea

#dp x dc

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alyakthedorklord · 3 months

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why the hell is my soda thick.

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alyakthedorklord · 3 months

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HELLO IF YOU TURN ON AIRPLANE MODE WITH APPS THAT DON’T REQUIRE CONNECTION (ie:sudoku, most basic puzzle apps) THE ADDS CANNOT REACH YOU.

YOU ARE AIRPLANE MODE. YOU ARE A BIRD IN THE SKY.

YOU ARE FREE.

it should be illegal to put ads in apps or sites for solitaire or picross or sudoku tbh. playing classic puzzle games uninterrupted needs to be a HUMAN RIGHT

#man i hate hate hate when the solitaire app that came with my god damn laptop tries to feed me ads #advice #be free #life hacks

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alyakthedorklord · 4 months

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Qi Rong either gets Xie Lian’s love, can feel its not his, and is absolutely horrified that he cares about people now…

Or he gets Disgust from Inside Out.

“Oh my god, ew, is that a finger in my soup?”

“…boss made it this way?”

“Get it out get it out get it out- oh my god what am I wearing this is so tacky- ugh, why are you so ugly.”

Random TGCF AU of the Day

The Princess Tutu AU

aka @fennel9 this is what that tutu photo inspired xD

For anyone unfamiliar with Princess Tutu, it is an excellent anime (that I highly recommend) in which a duck turns into a girl and then into a magical girl in order to retrieve the shards of a prince's heart which are running amuck and amplifying various emotions around their fairy tale-esque town. Lots of fairy tale themes and ballet ensue.

I think fandom could always use a Princess Tutu au :)

The TGCF version:

Enter Xie Lian, the fairy tale prince. Due to BWX-related Reasons, his heart has been shattered and the shards are scattered leaving him in a catatonic state (either Sleeping Beauty or just an emotionless shell). He is left in a concerned Jun Wu's care and tended to by Feng Xin & Mu Qing (who unbeknownst to them have also been possessed by shards). Jun Wu seeks the shards and hopes to restore Xie Lian but he's not making much progress.

Enter Hua Cheng. Once upon a time he was a weak and powerless child but now he's a feared Ghost King (or something) on a mission - retrieve his beloved's emotions and restore him to his true self.

The side characters' stories play out under the influence of Xie Lian's warped emotions. Possessed victims include Ling Wen, Pei Ming, Shi Wudu, He Xuan, Yushi Huang, Lang Qianqiu, Yin Yu etc... (Not sure what emotions would affect them yet, but we'll get there)

Meanwhile Bai Wuxiang is also after the shards. He hopes to corrupt them so that the Xie Lian that eventually wakes up with be a Xie Lian in his image...

Also meanwhile a frantic Mu Qing & Feng Xin are scrambling to stop Hua Cheng because there's no way this shady Ghost King (or something) isn't up to nefarious schemes and they will not let their Highness fall into his clutches! Comedic hijinks ensue.

#princess tutu au #tgcf

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alyakthedorklord · 4 months

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Idk if matching the personalities to emotions or going the oposite direction is funnier.

Like, Yushi Huang is just carrying on with Xie Lian’s peace. She pauses for maybe half a second to think “damn maybe that calming tea is a little too strong” before going back to watching clouds.

But, like, Pei Ming gaining one of XL’s emotions? Xie “i can’t get it up” Lian? Has the possibility to be VERY FUNNY. Is it possible to be possessed by Demisexuality? Or Lust? can you imagine? None of the very pretty women are doing it for him. Pei Ming thinks his dick broke. He goes to Feng Xin. (Bc, u know. Dick Yang.) Feng Xin wants nothing to do with this conversation and thats how Hua Cheng gets it back. Peri Ming is confused how he got his shit rocked by a ghost king and now he likes looking at women again.

He Xuan… luck? Is luck an emotion? Or his patience, and then when he loses XL’s patience Black Water sinking ships happens, and FX and MQ go “ah clearly HC is evil look at what he did” meanwhile He Xuan is all “fuck yeah i can go feral again”

Lang Qianqu gets Xie Lian’s guilt complex. He’s taking on blame for every little thing. Whatever the backstory with Xie Lian he has, Hua Cheng absolutely CRUSHES this boy for what he did.

Ling Wen, keeps having emotional breakdowns and is starting to tear her hair out bc she got the “cry” part of “Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.” She’s been doing ber job for HOW LONG? Whats wrong with her?

Yin Yu gets the laugh part. He’s laughing at everything. It’s kind of unsettling. (Oh, should Quan Yizhen get cry instead of Ling Wen? Bc matching set?)

Oh, even fucking better idea for Yushi Huang- anger.

Xie Lians anger nearly started a plague. Nearly turned him into a calamity. Nearly killed so many. It’s quiet and festering and cruel.

Give it to the agriculture goddess. I wanna see her go buck wild. Biblically-accurate Demeter type shit. I want the gods all fighting against her, no offerings i. Thier temples bc the food is gone, the rain has stopped, terrified that this is what XL’s been holding, that this is what Yushi Huang is capable of. I want Hua Cheng, who UNDERSTANDS that anger, to walk right up and take it, cradle it, tend to it, and make sure he doesn’t give it back first because he knows his god wouldn’t want anger alone.

And I want Feng Xin and Mu Qing SHITTING themselves knowing Hua Cheng just fucking- has it. And they need to fing Xie Lian’s peace RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

(Shi Wudu has it. He’s fucked off to make rainbows out of sea spray. No one can find him)

Random TGCF AU of the Day

The Princess Tutu AU

aka @fennel9 this is what that tutu photo inspired xD

I think fandom could always use a Princess Tutu au :)

The TGCF version:

Enter Hua Cheng. Once upon a time he was a weak and powerless child but now he's a feared Ghost King (or something) on a mission - retrieve his beloved's emotions and restore him to his true self.

Meanwhile Bai Wuxiang is also after the shards. He hopes to corrupt them so that the Xie Lian that eventually wakes up with be a Xie Lian in his image...

#tgcf #heaven official's blessing #hua cheng #xie lian #hualian #princess tutu au #idk man im just #word vomit

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