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babysubinnie · 3 years

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love or hate, but more hate. // mark lee

🥦 pairing:: mark lee x reader 🥦 genre:: fluff, angst, emotional, ceo!mark, ceo!reader 🥦 words:: 2.7k (i’m so proud of this one tho??) 🥦 summary:: after years of being friends with mark, the fact that he was leaving without saying goodbye, pissed you off. now that 7 years have passed and everyone has taken over everyone’s dad’s company, and mark is finally back. what the hell is going to go down?

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“he’s leaving?” i shot my head up at hyuck when he told me that mark was leaving. there was always a chance to tell mark that i loved him. that it was always him. that there was nothing in this world that i loved more than i did him. but now i could never tell him how i felt and that was my fault. i was screwed.

“i’m sorry y/n. i wish i told you earlier but i couldn’t. i had an interview to go-”

“shut up hyuck it doesn’t matter right now.” i stood up as quickly as i could before racing to the airport. i knew he said he was going to go to vancouver to finally take over his dad’s company but i never knew it was this soon.

the three of us, hyuck, mark and i grew up together since the age of 5 in somewhat of a big bubble. we were constantly surrounded by people that told us what their recent purchase of the week was or what they were going to go buy in the future. we frankly didn’t care but when we met for the first time? we clicked just like that because of the fact that we didn’t want to be here. all three of our dads owned a company, and the three of them were always together. they would spend time together all the time, just like the three of us.

hyuck had already slowly taken over his father’s company but me? i was the last one of the trio to do it, which of course hasn’t happened yet. i wish it did because i was more than ready.

when i got to the airport, my heart was beating faster than anything else. i thought that my heart would stop beating if i didn’t see mark go. i needed to see mark before he left but why did it hurt that he didn’t even tell me? i knew that he would leave, i knew it would happen, but not like this. i got a call from hyuck and i hesitated to pick up the phone.

“y/n, why didn’t you tell him when you had the chance?” he groaned into the phone and tears filled my eyes as i ran around the airport trying to find him before stopping in the middle to yell at hyuck.

“fuck you hyuck. i would have told him if i fucking knew this was the last time i would fucking see him okay?” i yelled back at him then started running again with the phone to my ear.

“y/n i’m sorry. i’m so fuck-” i hung up the minute i heard him say he was sorry to me. i couldn’t have this conversation with him while i was trying to find the love of my life. i started searching the entire airport for him and nothing. i ran to the gate that he always took us to, and his plane was getting ready to close the door. i screamed and their body guards saw me. they stopped everything and let me run onto the plane.

“mark you can’t leave.” i shook my head with tears rolling down my face as i stood in the middle of the plane panting like a dog. i may have been able to stop him in time, but i don’t know if it was going to change anything.

“angel?” he stood up so fast running over to me wrapping his arms around my waist. he was the only one on the plane, with his personal body guard but he was basically alone. i knew his body guard wouldn’t say anything to mark’s dad but still the fact that i caught mark at the right time, made me over the moon.

“hi min.” i smiled at him putting my hand through his hair because i knew how much he liked it. he rest his forehead onto mine before pulling away to look me in the eye.

“you can’t leave me. what about hyuck?” i looked down then up into his eyes putting both arms around his shoulders. he pulled me towards him basically telling me that i couldn’t do anything to stop it even if he wanted to stay.

“i’m so sorry angel. i have to go but i will be back before you know it. i promise.”

before i knew it? was seven years before i knew it? i had taken over my dad’s company for three years, was matched to get married to someone although it wasn’t donghyuck, i dealt with it. donghyuck? the two of us stayed next to each other the whole time. he helped me through the entire process, and i helped him whenever he needed it.

the thing is, as the years went by, and we saw mark being successful, we started to hate him. he never came back to visit and he had all the time in the world and he loved to show it.

“hi baby!” donghyuck started calling me a thousand nicknames when mark had left just to fill the hole and the fact that no one was there to call me that anymore. he was giggly when he sat down in front of my desk, and then propped his head up on my desk.

“hyuck i’m so stressed about this press release help.” i looked down slamming down the papers that were in my hands when hyuck started giggling again. he picked up the papers i put down and stood up reading it. he was the biggest help i could ever ask for.

“yes of course i’ll help you my love.” he laughed rolling his eyes sitting down in my chair when i stood up to look out the window. i looked down when i heard a knock at the door.

“yeah? what?” i was pressing the bridge of my nose when i heard it, and i looked up to shout out the door.

“you could be nicer to your assistant you know?” hyuck looked up from the papers before shooting a glare at me from the desk. i laughed telling her nicely to come in.

“you both have a guest.” she smiled hearing the conversation that i had with hyuck. i told her to let whoever the guest was in, before looking down at the papers with donghyuck.

“i’m glad you two are still joined at the hips.” we shot our heads up when we heard the voice. i wanted to hurt him. i wanted to scream at him. but i couldn’t. i wanted to cry. but i knew if i did, it would seem like i cared. at this point, i couldn’t care less.

“oh look what the cat dragged in. i didn’t know the person who completely abandoned us would have the guts to come back. ” i scoffed rolling my eyes before sitting on the chair once he stood up. donghyuck scoffed then looked down at me telling me that everything would be okay.

“i didn’t mean to. i swear. i just got busy.” he did look guilty, but no calls, no texts, no nothing and he said he was busy? he didn’t talk to us at all. mark cut us out of his life.

“what? fucking say that ag-” as i started freaking out at him, the door got pushed open, and in walked the girl that i had always wanted to look like. the girl i always wanted to be like. well all until i met her.

“mark you didn’t wait for me!” she was perfect from head to toe, but i expected her personality to be bad. and was i right? yes. she was a complete bitch, but she didn’t show that to mark. of course he didn’t know.

“sorry angel. i wanted to see my friends-” that fucking name. that fucking nickname. i looked down shaking my head biting my lip not knowing what to do but scream at him. hyuck pulled me to stand up before wrapping his arms around me tightly. he knew what that nickname meant to me.

it all went back to when we were kids. the first time that he saved me from the bullies in kindergarten, he asked me if he was okay, and that was the first time he called me angel. i pulled away from hyuck turning around to face mark. he kept his hand on my waist, reassuring me that he was there for me.

“do you even deserve to call us that?” i screamed at him trying to lower the attitude because we had a guest. this girl was scoffing while i was yelling at him. i looked her up and down in disbelief when i realized that she thought she was part of this little fight. donghyuck moved in front of me trying to stop me from doing anything that i would regret.

“and who the fuck do you think you are scoffing like that?” i pushed donghyuck out of the way before i walked over to her. she glared at me while i walked up to her, but when i glanced at mark, he was cursing at me with his eyes.

“both of you, get out.” i scoffed in disbelief when i saw that mark was now pissed off at me. i didn’t care, at all what he thought.

i watched them walk out before covering my face as tears rushing down my face. donghyuck ran over to me so fast that i could barely do anything before he picked me up wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me close to him.

“i’m sorry.”

“hi dad!” i ran in throwing my arms around his shoulders and he laughed with donghyuck’s dad when hyuck did the same thing. this party was one of the normal ones, the snobby people, the annoying girls that always hit on haechan, blah blah. our dad’s were not the type of guys that were snobby people because of money but our moms were.

“y/n. we are surrounded by a thousand of your fathers investors. behave.” she scoffed taking a sip of her champagne before i turned to look at donghyuck. he laughed at me and when we started walking away, mark and that girl walked in.

“who’s the girl?” my mom glanced up at me from her seat and i scoffed shrugging. i rolled my eyes and sat on the ledge of her seat, to which she handed me a glass of champagne. before i knew it, mark was walking over here to say hi to his dad, my dad, and hyuck’s dad. when we were sitting there waiting for him to introduce his friend, he made eye contact with me, i couldn’t look away. there was something about it.

“who’s your friend minhyung?” mark’s dad asked him and mark looked away from me then looked at her.

“this is irene.” he was hesitant to say they were dating. i knew that he was. he had a small glint in his eye saying that he didn’t want to say it. donghyuck and i shared eye contact before looking back at mark. mark’s dad looked up at me wondering if i was okay. i nodded telling him that i was fine regardless if he was dating her or not.

“are you guys dating?” he asked after nodding at me, then glancing up at mark. he reluctantly nodded which caused her to step forward to introduce herself.

“hi! i’m irene, mark’s girlfriend. it’s so lovely to meet all of you! and omg! you’re here too y/n!” she smiled while scanning the room until she made eye contact with me. she smirked then put her arm around mark’s pressing a kiss to his cheek. i laughed fakely before standing up to walk away. i was walking away when i heard mark excuse his self.

“excuse me for just a second.”

i walked over to the bar again to get something to drink when i realized mark was next to me. he turned around to face the party when i was facing the bar. he leaned over to whisper,

“meet me over there in ten seconds. we need to talk.” before i could object, he was walking off to the corner of the party. i followed him after ten seconds in the direction he walked. i didn’t know where he went but before i knew it, he had me pinned against the wall with his eyes piercing into mine.

“hi.” i bit my lip and he smiled. everything i waited for in this moment, was to tell him that i loved him. to tell him that everything in the world didn’t matter except for him.

“hi angel.” he put his hand on my cheek before staring at me for what seemed like hours. i put my head against the wall telling myself to knock it off, even if i was two seconds away from making my dream come true, but no. i had to knock out of it.

“mark, no. you’re not allowed to call me that anymore. not unless you’re calling that girl that.” i shook my head pushing him away from me, before starting to walk away from him just to stop myself from doing or saying anything wrong.

“angel i’m sorry. i’m sorry for leaving you behind. i’m sorry for everything.” he shook his head biting his lip when he was holding my wrist. i pushed him off and walked outside to the balcony. he grabbed my wrist again and i glanced at his hand, then at him.

“no. i can’t mark. i can’t fucking do this. you know why? because i fucking love you. okay? i love you so much that i can’t do anything about this because you have a girlfriend. i’m mad at you because you left us when i could have told you how much i loved you. i’m mad at you because you didn’t even let me tell you that. i’m-” i just confessed everything. i just told him everything about how i felt and that was not even the end of it. but i told him the truth.

“stop.”

“no, i’m mad at you because you-” i started going off at him again before he put his hands on both of my cheeks before looking me straight in the eye.

“i told you to stop, angel.” he pressed his lips to mine moving his arms around my waist pulling me close to him. when he pulled away, he smiled at me like i was his favorite thing in the entire world.

“i love you, so goddamn much.”

“mark?” that screeching voice. that voice i wanted to rip out of her goddamn body. i wanted to kill her for ruining this goddamn moment. 20 years for this moment, and this bitch ruined it.

“god fucking son of a bitch.” mark mumbled under his breath while i laughed at his response for irene just showing up out of no where. he kept one arm around my waist while putting his other hand in his pocket.

“you’re cheating on me with this bitch?” she scoffed looking me up and down before i laughed under my breath. i looked down then looked back up to her. i was going to go at her throat, but i couldn’t.

“nothing to say huh? i’ve known him for longer than five months so don’t you even bother.” she giggled with so much fake in her voice that made me want to hurt her even more.

“oh? i see. mark i’m sorry i must be wrong about this. we shouldn’t be together.” i winked at him when i turn my back towards her. i hugged him fakely while he continued to act with me.

“we’ve been together for too long. we can’t risk anything else.” he shook his head resting his forehead against mine. she smirked from behind us and i turned around to laugh at her. mark put his arms around my waist, back hugging me and i smirked back at her.

“is 20 years too short min? i think it is to be honest. five months should be longer right?” i laughed looking away from her then looked back at her. i rolled my eyes then turned around to face him again.

“fuck the both of you.” she turned on her heels and walked off, and fast. i looked at mark smiling brightly at him, looking down then up at him. he pressed a kiss to my forehead, my nose, then my lips. before i knew it, we were making out on the balcony, with nothing to stop us.

“20 years and you’re finally mine. it’s about god damn time.”

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hoodharlow · 4 years

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Missed Opportunity

Summary: This the how Claudia and Calum met.

Warnings: none just two kids failing at flirting

Word Count: 2.7k

October 2018

"You know what I've been craving? Fish tacos from the place we went to in San Diego." Calum told his bandmates.

They had just finished sound check for their final show of the US leg of the tour. In less than two weeks they would be off to Europe for the final leg.

"Or you want to go see if you see that pretty waitress." Michael commented.

"What pretty waitress?" Calum asked casually as if he had no idea who Michael meant.

"You know damn well which pretty waitress we're talking about. The one that gives you free chocolate cake and flan." Michael retorted.

"What? No!" Calum's cheeks redden. He knew that they weren't going to let that go anytime soon. They hadn’t for the past five years.

Calum has had a crush on her for almost 5 years. It all started when she kicked out a bunch of fans that followed him and Luke to the restaurant. He tried flirting with her but failed miserably that day. The next day he went back to pick up an order. That time she was more approachable. She even apologized for her attitude from the day before, letting it slip that she was a fan of the covers they did. She awkwardly asked if it was okay for her to ask for a picture.

Since then, every time the boys had a show in San Diego, they went there before the show to get food. Calum's order always has a slice of chocoflan.

Calum stopped by a few days ago when they had their show, but she wasn't there. He asked one of the other servers if they at least had the chocolate cake and flan dessert. They came back with the owner, who told him that Claudia, the waitress, was in LA for school, and she was also the one that made the chocoflan. The news left him disappointed. He wanted to ask her dad more, but he knew any dad wasn't about to tell a stranger the whereabouts of his daughter.

"Cal!" Michael clapped his shoulder. Calum blinked a few times. "We gotta get going. We're late for that radio interview."

***

“Hey pa, what’s up?” Claudia answered her phone. Her face lit up when her dad's face came on the screen. She hadn't talked to her dad in days. He was sitting in the patio area of the restaurant.

"¿'Tas ocupada?" He asked her.

"Ahorita no because we're waiting for this band to show up. Their management called my boss y le dijeron that they're running late or something." She explained.

Claudia works at her university's radio station. Her and her housemate host a segment called 'Girl Chat' where they talk about the most random topics. From matching lipstick to ones areolas to environmental racism and how stratification affects it. She got the job her first week of summer bridge.

Claudia was a transfer student from a community college in San Diego, and part of the requirement for transfer students was that they participate in summer bridge where counselors and advisors help out students find a balance and the necessary resources to be successful at the 4 year institution.

She was on her way to a workshop when she got lost. The radio station booth looked more approachable than the surrounding frat houses. That was when the DJ commented on her voice and how it was made for the radio. She laughed it off at first, but once she heard of the different segments, she was hooked. 'Girl Chat' was the first to spark her interest. She met Dulce, her now housemate. They bounced off each other and had good chemistry that kept the listeners listening.

"What's up?"Claudia asked again. She pulled her legs up and sat criss-cross applesauce.

"I keep forgetting to tell you, but I remembered it because of something I heard on the radio. ¿Te acuerdas de ese grupo con el muchacho al que siempre le das chocoflan?" Her dad asked. Claudia's mind instantly went to Calum.

"No," She responded. She looked to the side avoiding looking at her dad.

"Yes, you do. I saw how your eyes did that thing." Claudia rolled her eyes at him. "Anyways, him and the other boys were at the restaurant a few days ago y pregunto por ti. Well not you, but he asked about the chocoflan. And then I mentioned how we only serve it when you’re in town. It looked like he wanted to ask me about you, but he didn’t.”

“Right,” Claudia laughed. How can someone like Calum Hood even ask about her.

Claudia and her dad spent more time talking until Dulce texted her that the people are about five minutes away. Her dad bid her bye and reminded her que se cuide Durante el concierto. Her other housemate, Sara, invited her to go see The Aces because something came up and her sister couldn’t go with her anymore. Claudia was very excited for it because they were opening for 5 Seconds of Summer. She was finally going to go see them. In all her years of being a fan, she never saw them live.

While she waited, she tapped through the Instagram stories. Claudia paused at the 5SOS story. It was a picture of the radio station captioned ‘Tune in to Girl Chat on KBeach Radio today at 12:15.’ with a swipe up link.

“No!” She whispered loudly to myself.

“What?” Dulce glanced at her phone.

“They’re the ones coming to campus?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Why are we interviewing them? Of all the bands, 5 fucking Seconds of Summer? Were there no soundcloud rappers available?” She began to ramble.

“Do you not like them?”

“No, I love them. I really fuck with their most recent album.” She calmly said. “But I have had the biggest crush on the bass player since I was 15 after telling off his fans.”

“Was that when you told your parents you were going to a church retreat but got caught?”

“In my defense, I was with my church friends. It would’ve worked if Danny didn’t hack my facebook and see the messages.” Claudia sat back. To this day she’s still mad at her twin brother for hacking her facebook. Not only was it a huge invasion of privacy, he had no reason for doing it. “I didn’t even straighten my hair. I look like a hot mess.”

She covered her face and fake cried. Dulce looked at her as if she had grown a second head and then laughed, placing a record on play. Claudia heard the beginnings of “If Walls Could Talk” and sank lower in her seat. The boys came in as the song played. They all introduced themselves, and she avoided making eye contact with Calum. The other boys looked at each other, at Calum and at her. She couldn’t helpbut notice how cuddly he looked in his iconic empathy hoodie and leather jacket combo. She’s seen one too many interviews where he wore the exact outfit.

Claudia pulled her mic closer to her once she heard the last few seconds played. She sat straighter and began, “That was 5 Seconds of Summer with ‘If Walls Could Talk’ from their most recent album, ‘Youngblood’. Theyare today’s guests on ‘Girl Chat’. Thank you so much for taking some time off your very busy schedule to chat with us.” She smiled.

“Thank you for having us. I think that’s the first time since we dropped Youngblood, that they played another song from the album. Everyone just plays ‘Youngblood’.” Ashton said after a few seconds of awkward silence.

“Well, ‘If Walls Could Talk’ is a bop and deserves more recognition.”

“You have a really soothing voice.” Calum said casually. Michael snorted trying to cover up his laugh.

“Oh, um thanks. I’ve been told that a lot.” She managed to say.

“To be honest, I’m pretty sure it’s the only reason why she hasn’t gotten fired.” Dulce cut in trying to pass the conversation . “She’s said pretty wild shit on here. Remember when you caused a riot at the food court?”

“A riot?” Luke asked in disbelief.

“It was not a riot, it was a gathering of angry people that took over and distributed all the food to all the students. In my defense, I was just bringing awareness to the food waste that happened. I never once said ‘start a riot’.” She explained.

“You just did.” Ashton pointed out.

“He’s got you there.” Dulce laughed.

“PSA, please don’t riot. I really like my job. It helps pay for my Roscoe's habit.” She added.

***

The interview ran smoothly. What felt like only 15 minutes turned out to be almost 2 hours. Dulce and Claudia’s boss signaled them to keep going after the one hour mark. It was the most listeners they had all semester. There were some even tweets about them. Most were about how Claudia and Dulce were able to keep up with the boys’ crazy antics and jokes, unlike other radio interviews where they kinda stay quiet and jump to questions.

During the interview, Calum not so subtly found Claudia’s instagram off the radio station’s instagram. It took everything not to request her right in front of everyone. He planned on asking for it after their interview, but the boys got bombarded with fans. The band hung back and took some pictures with them. He watched Claudia and Dulce leave, missing his chance, so he just sent her a follow request.

At home he paced around his room packing some things for Duke while also waiting for Claudia to accept his follow request. He dm’ed her once she accepted the request telling her that they— he — were able to get her and her friend backstage passes to meet The Aces and hang out with them and the boys if they were interested.

Minutes later she responded with a bunch of emojis and thank yous and that her friend is going to appreciate that. He quickly responds, letting her know that he’s going to be by the security box at the parking lot ten min before the show?. Claudia responded thirty minutes later with a thumbs up.

“It’s gonna be a good show, Duke. I just know it.”

***

“Are you fucking kidding me, Danny! This is why you made me come home?” Claudia pushed passed her twin brother and stomped to her room.

“Are you mad?” He asked entering her room.

“Yes, I am! Cuántas veces te tengo que decir: I don’t want to see Paco anymore.”

“I’m doing you a favor, Claudia. You’re being a fucking coward.”

“Get the fuck out!”

Claudia crawled into bed and hugged her pillow. She let her tears roll down her cheeks.

Today started off great. She formally met her favorite band and had a conversation with them that didn't involve her asking if they wanted salsa verde for their burritos. She was finally going to see them live. Something she dreamed of since she was 15.Only for her brother to call her, making her drive 3 hours for nothing.

Everyone in their friend group was pissed at her. According to them, she had fucked up the whole dynamic when she moved up to Long Beach. Only making it worse when her and Paco broke up.

If only they knew the truth, she thought to herself. Paco was the one that broke up with her. All because she didn't want to have sex with him. His words cut deep, claiming that she wasn't shit and how no one was going to want her like that once they find out she's a virgin. It wasn’t like there hadn’t been instances where they could've; shit, her head game is supreme. The thing was that she just never felt ready. There was something that kept her from giving herself to him.Instead he gave their friend group a bullshit excuse that she was then one that ended things because of school.

Now she's the bad guy in this. She hugged her pillow tighter and drifted off to sleep.

When she woke up it was well into midnight. She peeked at the driveway to see if her brother's car was there,and fortunately, it wasn't.

She still couldn’t wrap her head around the fact her brother thought ambushing her with a party was going to resolve anything between her and Paco.

Claudia wandered down to the kitchen for a snack. She saw a plate piled with flautas but opted for making grilled cheese. After flipping it to the other side, she checked her phone. She smiled at the message from Calum.

She had apologized profusely to him that she wasn't going to make it, but she was sending him a chocoflan with Dulce. Her and Sara convinced Dulce to go with Sara even though neither The Aces or 5 Seconds of Summer were her faves.

You have no idea how relieved I was when I saw the chocolate cake and flan. At the radio I was going to ask you about it, but I didn't want to seem creepy . He messaged her.

😂😂😂 my dad literally ft'ed me, telling me you asked about it. I'm surprised you remembered our restaurant. She replied. She flipped the pan over a plate and wandered back to her room.

How can I forget about it or you, you shooed my fans away.

Excuse you, I basically rescued you and Luke from a hoard of crazy teenagers

Ah yes my hero 😂😂😂

***

Around 3 am Calum stopped replying. Claudia assumed he passed out. She's on her 6th cup of coffee, and it was only 1pm. She decided to attempt to stay up the whole day so she can fix her sleep schedule. She had midterms in a few weeks, and she could fuck up her sleep then.

She was at the restaurant, sitting at her family's table and doing some homework while watching her niece and nephews. She occasionally checked her phone to see if Calum responded, but nothing popped up.

She checked who saw her story on Instagram, and Calum was one of the first to see it. With the help of her dad, who can't record boomerangs to save his life, she recorded taking out some chocoflanes from the oven. Well, it was supposed to be that, but it was a shaky video of her struggling to get up from her squatting position while her dad laughed at her. That was 3 hours ago.

She went back to her research paper on food deserts in lower income communities and the impacts they have on the environment. She was 25 minutes deep into an HBO documentary about some kids in Philly not having any food options at a corner store when she spotted a very familiar green hoodie sitting out in the patio area from the corner of her eyes.

Before Claudia could process that he was really here, her father walked up to him. She watched Calum laugh at something her father said. Then her father nodded and pointed straight at her. Her eyes widened, and she went back to the documentary as if it was far more interesting than anything else that was happening.

"Guito, watch Paloma and Damian, I'll be right back." She said after she saw that Calum was not looking at her. She stood up and awkwardly beelined to the dessert bar and grabbed a slice of chocoflan and a fork. She was thankful he had his back to her when she nearly tripped over the step.

Duke was the first to notice her. He yipped when he saw her approach them. Calum turned around and smiled at her.

"Have another show?" She asked. She almost smacked herself at how stupid she sounded.

"No," he chuckled. "I, uh, saw your story about making some chocoflan and just had to drive down for a slice."

He didn’t tell her how after the show last night, he had taken Duke out to pee, and when they came back the entire flan was gone. Someone had accidentally put it out on the giant snacks table for crew members and other people. It soured his mood since Claudia wasn't at the show.

When he saw her video, the next thing he knew was that he was by Pasadena on the I15. This time he was not gonna miss his chance.

#calum hood imagine #El Novio series #el novio #el novio masterlist #calum hood oneshot #calum hood one shot #calum hood fanfiction #calum hood fanfic

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gorgxoxus · 3 years

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Scorching Summer Heat (at Christmastime): Klaine Advent Day 6: Farm:

Also on AO3. There is more info on AO3 again if you want to look at that.

I like this chapter and things happen so it’s quite a lot longer than normal. Also i’ve started writing dialogue so hopefully it flows a little better.

Kurt lets him know the kiosk is closed today because the family is preparing for the carols tonight so he heads straight down to the beach for a swim. The beach is busy with teenagers who have finished school for the year so he heads straight for the water and has a quick dip. He quickly dries himself off, puts his shirt back on and heads for the café on the corner. He still needs his coffee fix even if he can’t get it from the kiosk.

When he gets back Quinn and Tina remind him they’re heading to the farmers market in half an hour so he has a shower, puts a tiny bit of product in his hair and gets changed. Once he’s dressed he goes into the living room and asks, “Are you girls ready yet?”

“A couple more minutes,” shouts Tina,

He checks his messages and finds a couple from his parents when Quinn and Tina open their bedroom door and they walk towards the beachfront path that heads to the next suburb.

Blaine asks, “what are we planning on getting,” and Quinn lists all the veggies they want and Tina budges in with,

“I need a souvlaki,” Blaine agrees, half the reason they go to this farmers market is the top-notch souvlakis. The other half of the reason is that it has cheap produce. He also goes for the best bread he’s ever had. If he moves away from here he will miss the amazing white sourdough he buys every week.

There is remains of keep 1.5 metres apart signs in the farmers markets but no one is following them anymore after months and months of no cases. They buy their souvlaki’s first, Blaine getting beef and Quinn and Tina sharing a chicken one, because as much as Tina loves them she cannot eat a whole one. Quinn asks to find a seat and they eat them before going in search of the best bread and produce.

Quinn gets up and says, “go find the bread you love, we’ll get some vegetables,” with a knowing smile. He is unsurprised she knows him so well and heads to the sourdough booth. He gets the bread and heads to the produce section near the back to see them still looking for what they want. They are holding hands and talking between themselves so he waits back and looks at some pumpkins while they grab their produce and go up to the register. He joins them there with a small “Hi”. Once everything is packed into their cloth bags they head back to the apartment.

4pm:

Kurt: if you are not busy I could do with some help with set up. We are at the amphitheatre.

Blaine: i’m not busy.

Blaine: i’ll walk down

Blaine: see you in 15 mins.

Blaine peaks his head into Tina and Quinn’s room and says, “I��m going down to the beach to help Kurt with carols set up” and Quinn responds with, “Ok, we will message when we get there.”

He heads down the steps of the amphitheatre and sees Kurt, Burt, Finn and about thirty others around, some looking busier than others. When he gets to the bottom Kurt comes up and says, “thanks for coming,”

“No worries”.

Kurt asks him to help Finn grab another speaker from the caravan around the corner as one is not working. Finn leads him to the caravan and they find the speaker in question and when Finn picks it up he nearly drops it.

“Kurt sent you too because I cannot be trusted holding important things,” Fin says with a laugh so Blaine grabs the other side of the speaker and leads them back towards the top of the steps. Someone quickly walks up to them and takes the speaker off them so they head back down the stairs.

“Mate, do you have a Santa hat?” Finn asks and Blaine looks at him and says,

“No?”

“Kurt your boyfriend doesn’t have a Santa hat,” shouts Finn in Kurt’s direction,

“He’s not my boyfriend,” says Kurt shooting Finn a dirty look and coming up to them.

“Why do you talk about him all the time then?” asks Finn and then if Kurt wasn’t already completely red in the face he is now.

Blaine looks at Kurt and says, “you talk about me all the time?” and Kurt gives him a look that is much kinder than the one he gave his brother.

Kurt then jumps into action and says, “Blaine come with me, I need someone to help me move the food from the kiosk.” He can hear Finn quietly saying ‘I was trying to help’ as Kurt leads him towards the building.

Kurt grabs the key from his pocket and opens up the back door of the kiosk into the mini kitchen, that is mostly just a bench and fridge. Kurt seems pretty intent on ignoring his brothers comments and gets him to take some plastic wrapped sandwiches back over as Kurt organises the rest of the food.

Blaine finds Burt and he lets him know where the sandwiches go. He heads back to the kiosk.

When he gets back Kurt has got all the food out and they walk back together carrying cookies, cakes and chips. Kurt does an extra trip back to the kiosk for a few more items and locks it up and Finn comes up to Blaine and gives him a Santa hat and shifts his feet as he apologises for his comments earlier. Blaine reminds him he should really apologise to Kurt and watches as people start arriving and grabbing their seats.

When Kurt comes back he asks if there is something other than small sandwiches for dinner and Kurt walks over to a cooler to grab two containers and some forks.

“Would you like a chicken salad?”

Blaine nods his head and takes one of the containers and a fork from Kurt as he quickly asks his father, “Do you need any help from us?”

“No, we are going to save some seats so meet us back here in half an hour,” Burt replies.

Kurt turns to Blaine and asks, “Do you want to sit on the grass over here to eat?”

signalling to the area looking over the beachfront and Blaine replies, “Yes.”

They get seated and open their containers. Blaine asks about the set up and Kurt goes on about speakers, the fake Santa Claus they blew up, the singers and the food. He has a light in his eyes talking about the preparations Blaine hasn’t seen yet and makes him happy to witness.

“I haven’t been to Carols by Candlelight in five years, I feel like I am a kid doing all this again,” Kurt says, taking a breath and Blaine says,

“I’ve been to carols before, but this one seems a lot more fun than the old stuffy church carol services I went to as a kid,”

“I am not a fan of Church services, but I am happy to sing some Christian songs to experience the joy of Carols by Candlelight.”

They lull into a silence to focus on eating.

When they are finished they still have about ten minutes until Burt wanted them back so Blaine says, “It’s cute that you talk about me all the time,” he watches him blush as Kurt says, “you made an impression,”

“I’m glad I did and so did you,” and catches Kurt’s eyes on him, looking back. The air crackles between them and Blaine scoots forward a bit, so he’s much closer to Kurt than before. Kurt puts a hand on his cheek and they continue to look at each other and then Kurt leans in and captures his mouth in a kiss. It’s a little off-centre so Blaine corrects it and just kisses him until he runs out of breath. Blaine drops his head for a second and then looks up to see Kurt staring at him. He quickly looks to the side to see Burt walking towards them so he scrambles out of his lap into a less compromising position. Kurt is intent on ignoring his Dad as they walk to the amphitheatre together and take their seats next to each other. They sit brushing their hands against each-others until Blaine grabs onto Kurt’s and doesn’t let go.

To Tina and Quinn at 5:35pm:

Blaine: sitting with kurts family

Blaine: also kurt kissed me

Quinn: WHOOP WHOOP

Quinn: Tina says YESSSSSSSS

Tina: YESSSSSSSSSS

Quinn: Also we are 5 minutes away

#klaine advent 2020 #klaine advent: farm #this chapter ran away from me lol #my fic

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allonsy-yesiwill · 3 years

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Tis The Season: The Unspoken Truth

WC: 1400 ish

Pairing: Dean x Y/N

Warnings: a little bit of angst (read is an orphan but it didn’t happen till she was an adult and hit of crap parents) torwards the end but mostly just fluffy goodness

A/N: I tend to treat the English language like a garbage bin, in public I pronounce gym phonetically cause it makes people mad, and me smile. So please if you are an English teacher just pass on all of this... cause my tenses are timey whimy to say the least. That being said if you want to Beta, let me know I could use all the help I can get... hmmm, I guess that’s just a general statement about my life really..lol.

The morning always came too early for, Y/N with Dean getting up around 5:30 to get ready for work. Y/N usually got home around midnight, an hour after the bar closed for the night. On Friday and Saturday Dean usually supported the bar so that he could spend some time with her. The staff even joked that he was their first unpaid employee, helping Y/N stock the bar or take out the trash when needed. For Y/N birthday this year they even made them the official cutest couple on staff, the picture of them still sits on the outside bar.

“Good morning beautiful,” Dean kissed Y/N while she lay in bed. “I am really nervous about all of this and I know you already know this but.”

Y/N instruped, “Oh babe I know you don’t want to fly there. It’s okay I got it. I am off all day, I am going to get out of bed now and I will make sure everything is packed and ready. It’s okay Dean, I will be with you the whole way alright.” Y/N rubbed his cheek with her thumb hoping to help him calm down. They have been talking about this trip for two week because Dean was terrified of flying. He originally wanted to work form home that day so he could help Y/N get everything ready however they both decided that working would be a welcome distraction form the events later in the day.

“Thank you,” Dean said, leaning his forehead against hers.

Y/N spent the day packing and planning making sure she had everything Dean needed for the flight including some legally purchased gummies, that she knew Dean would snack on before getting on the plane. She couldn’t help but chuckle getting everything ready, him talking about flying was the first time she had ever seen Dean scared. It was painfully obvious to her, no matter how much he tried to hide it.

As the afternoon rolled on Y/N hopped in the shower wanting to be as clean as possible before flying, knowing that the she was going to be squished between Dean and some random stranger for a few hours while they traveled to Kansas. She hadn’t flown in sometime but she new the drill, dressing in black leggings, a black tank top, heavy knit christmas and her favorite ugg boots. She was all set the luggage was by the door, Dean jeans along with his red and black flannel were waiting for him upstairs so he could shower and get dressed before they left no later than 5:30.

The plan went accordingly and know they found themself waiting at the gate with 90 mins to kill before the plane left.

“Are these form me or you,” Dean winked at Y/N pulling out the gummies.

“Well they are for both of us but you only get one and then you can eat the rest of these,” Y/N said pulling out a bag of unopened gummies she purchased inside the airport.

“Oh well I see, so should I take it now or wait till I am on the plane? How have I never thought about doing this, I am only in my 40′s and doing something that’s completely legal here,” Dean laughed.

“Ha, well your family seems a little straight-laced so it’s fine, but yes take it now so that way you will be relaxed for take off.”

They continue chatting about the upcoming events till they hear the boarding call for first class and Dean stands up saying, “Merry Christmas baby, that’s us.”

“Dean we talked about this, it was way too much money and you’re going to sleep the whole way.”

“I know, and I am a horrible listener,” Dean chuckled while helping her up.

This the first time Y/N had ever sat in first class there was so much room and it was just the two of them. While everyone boarded the plane they got comfy together waiting for take off. Dean was already starting to feel the gummy, Y/N could tell as he was starting to drift in and out of sleep.

“Alright babe, I am going to need you to eat and drink everything so that we get our money's worth,” He laughed.

“Dean, it’s a 3 hours flight you will have to carry me off the plane if I drink whiskey the whole time.”

“Hmm you’re right maybe champagne for the princess and food get food too. Maybe stash form cookies for when I wake up,” Dean let out with his eyes closed and a smile on his face.

“Okay babe,” she said before kissing him on his cheek.

The flight was very uneventful, Y/N spent some time talking with some of the stewarts. In return they made sure to give her more than a few unopened bottles of champagne while keeping her glass full. They also provided a few packages of cookies for Dean after she shared her story of her day and how nervous he was for this trip.

When the plane landed Y/N softly woke up a sleepy Dean with the promise of cookies. When they picked up their luggage Dean thought about something he had never considered.

“Fuck, what if I am still high. I don’t think I can drive. Could you drive, shit I don't’ want to do that. You don’t know where you are going. Son of bitch, why did I do that?” Y/N couldn’t help but laugh. “Babe, calm down. I spoke with the shop owner, the gummy only lasted four hours maybe five max, you ate one 90 mins before our flight and the time it took for us to get off the plane and get our luggage we are way over the 5 hours mark. PS you’re so adorable when you worry, I don’t want it to be a consistent thing but it’s pretty cute.” “Shut up, you’re adorable,” Dean said with a smile.

Before they left the airport Dean let out a big sigh and looked at Y/N. “Okay so there is one other thing that I need to tell you, before you meet my family. And I want you to know that I love you and that you’re here and this, this all falls on me. I know I should have told them that we are dating but I just haven’t yet.”

“So who do they think is coming with you,” Y/N asked, concerned not because he hadn’t named the relationship, she just wanted to know what you were walking into.

“Well I told them I was going to bring my best friend because she didn't have any family to be with for the Holiday’s and I didn’t want her to be alone,” Dean said, avoiding eye contact.

“First did you tell them that both of my parents are dead, cause I don’t like the orphan word. Both of my parents died when I was a grown ass adult and they weren’t super great at their roles so you know I just don’t want to be someone rich family’s pity project. Second, you know you could have told me this before we left. I get you were scared and I understand that your relationship, especially with your dad is complicated at best. I mean I could have stayed home and made all of this so much easier,” Y/N sighed

“See I knew you would say that and it would have broken my heart to leave you alone for Christmas. And honestly I am being a little bit selfish, I need you to be there by me for this trip. I have tried to tell them that we are dating so many times. I think Sammy knows but hasn’t said anything. I just don’t, want to be a disappointment or for them to not love you as much as I do.”

“Why would you be a disappointment, am I a disappointment?”

“Oh god no baby, never you’re my happiness, my everything. It’s just to them life is more about titles, not love and that scares me so much.”

“Hey, you know I love you right. We can and will get through this together no matter how much of a hot mess hallmark movie this Christmas is going to be,” Y/N said with a smile, “ besides you are going to have the harder job here. Keeping Dean Jr in check.” They both laughed.

“Well you aren’t wrong, you ass in those leggins. When I got home we almost missed the flight,” Dean laughed.

Next Part

You can entertain yourself over here with my other stories

TAGS

@akshi8278

I hope the tags worked I stopped them for a min but when people ask I can’t say no.

#dean x reader #au!dean x reader #dean winchester au #winchester christmas #spn fic #dean winchester fic #dean x you

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lady-plantagenet · 4 years

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What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 2: SOdden (or Sod ‘Em depending on your persuasion)

(Dont know how long I’ll be able to keep these puns up)

Catherine, like this woman, does not really fit into this era. But while this woman seems dropdead cool and at least looks the part, Catherine just...

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes:

The baby cloth lifting into the ceiling of the chapel had nice ‘myth of the demon countess of Anjou (ancestress of the Plantagenets)’ vibes. I am 100% that was unintentional. I get this impression by the cringiness of the baby’s screams (what’s up with those sound effects? It sounded like a zipper).

Henry gives me such softboi vibes? It’s pleasing to me because it’s making me attracted to him as a viewer, but no good in convincing me this is Henry VIII.

I think Catherine’s exposition about how she feels is pretty ok actually, it’s fitting that she would feel anger.

CHARLES’ FATHER IS NOT MAXIMILIAN, IT’S PHILIP (or rather it was). ~~ A quick wiki search guyz, a quick wiki search. Ughh

Again with the whole everyone acting like Catherine is Queen. Can they cut it out? Also while we’re at it, what was Catherine’s attendance in councils even like?

The music was nice

Post Child announcement phase:

Oof I hate to say it but I lowkey wanted de la Pole back in this mother. Mainly because it would mean more Margaret Pole and by this point I am scared her storyline will fade in prominence now that there’s no longer a Yorkist subplot (showhorned as it was, it was the crowning glory of last season tied with Arthur x Catherine).

More x Maggie Pole and all of it over Seneca and learning :’). I already know this will be the best part of the episode.

‘We certainly know stoicism in our family’ ~ I guess she’s referring to Reggie? Because our boi Clarence was no poster boy for stoicism. Though could she be making an ironic reference to her father~?

Edmund de la Pole Debacle:

Well this convo at least passed the bechdel test.

Maggie and Edmund’s interactions here are touching. I know this plotline was rushed but I think it was just right to bring us back here for 5 min as a mournful throwback to the bygone era to which Maggie Pope belongs to and now continues to do so alone. It is emotionless and you can just feel how the York cause was hanging on by a tired old threat by that point.

Maggie Pole is becoming matronly now and I like this transition.

What bothers me about a lot of fans of Margaret Pole is that what they don’t realise is that she wasn’t all like ‘I want nothing to do with my family I’ll stay low and obscure’. While far more cautious than the likes of her ancestors, she did engage in land disputes with Henry VIII and was an outspoken supporter of Catherine and Catholic. Having her be a woman woth dubious loyalties towards the Tudors is accurate.

Scotland with Meg and Jammes:

LMFAO it’s like they read my mind when I spoke of how much I laughed when Meg was like ‘Alexander Steward you pig!1!!’ last episode.

Nice reference to Aulde Alliance

I like James.

Henry and Catherine on the balcony:

Was she commander of the forces? Was Howard appointed that? Regent she was, ok.

Charlotte Hope’s new hairstyles really suit her!

‘Will you please stop cursing’ agahsjdk ahah

No offence to women (of which I am one) but this comparison between childbirth and war is just... wrong. I know Starz think they are being smart but childbirth is far less impressive than winning or surviving a battle - comparing the two diminishes the bravery of soldiers. YET ,having said that, childbirth is necessary for our society whereas war is almost always futile and by comparing them, it wrongly represents violence as something inherently as natural to us as birth and continuing of civilisation. overall not a smart, respectful or accurate parrallel to make.

Meg and prep for invasion + Catherine in her weird armour:

So Margaret dreams that her husband is dead and bloody in her bed. Ughh show you neeed to get more creative. But I did like the whole ‘dreams are how our ancestors talk to us’ line from Angus Douglas.

Re: Meg in her beret... Why is Meg dressed like me going to the London shops in October? Digging the aesthetic but not sure about the accuracy.

Rich of Catherine to bring up Edmund.

Why is Ursula Pole crying??? What is all this to her really?

Did Howard just call the guard... sonny?? Is this some WW2 crossover?

Catherine - James and the tent parlay:

Did Catherine just insult Meg’s intelligence??

Also lmao I’m going to miss James.

Re: Howard saying ‘I’m not going to get insulted by a man wearing a dress’ .. UMMM Starz, you do know that just thirty years ago men were prancing about in dresses and leggings (essentially). From around the middle of the 14th century to the beggining of 16th century (if not earlier), Englishmen were also essentially prancing about in ‘skirts’.

Am I getting a weird cooperation-partnership vibe between Meg and James?

The Battle:

Charlotte Hope looks so good with the helmet, she’d really suit an english hood! Such a shame they won’t give her one!

Ewwww he’s eating mud, why?

Just standard battle scene. They are all the same to me no matter which movie.

Aftermath:

Jesus, I find the whole Meg crying over James IV so heartfelt ‘you arrogant bastard’ for some reason just came out so full of emotion. Can someone please explain why the hell I ship them more than Henry x Catherine?? Like how ??

Awwww Linna is sooooo adorable ughhh. Also this whole Catherine going into armour among all the women crooning over the children gives this adorable sense of Catherine boyish and bloodying herself out to protect their peace, idk. All I have to say is that these series is less eager to pitt women against each other than the previous. I think that’s a step forwards.

Also, good to see Catherine being modest about her victory so Henry can save face. Finally starting to seem like the real Catherine.

‘Go on you dog’ arghh ahah he sounds like some public school rugby lad egging his mate on.

Re: Wolsey cock-blocker; the real Catherine would know it was uncatholic to have sex when you were pregnant. Also Catherine is not technically speaking in confinement if she’s wandering about.

It’s nice to see Catherine sticking up for Howard, she at least learned to respect him during the battle.

I foresee Oviedo having enough of this Christian stuff and wanting to return to the berber domains (I suppose Spain is out of the question)

Knighting Ceremony:

Apparently Margaret Pole herself was made Countess of Salisbury during this same ceremony... right? @houseofclarence

Also Maggie Pole being like: “being a rebel is in my blood, or so they tell me”... gahhh what’s with these shows and the Clarence erasure? Can’t they make one bloody reference to her dad or grandad Warwick? Ugh. Especially with lines like this. Actually? You know what? Ignore my previous comment about the stoic remark and it being an ironic reference to Clarence. I put such subtlety above this show’s writers.

Catherine has a habit of going to the coldest places possible to lose her children...

Haha @ Henry asking Bessie Blount (of all people) where Catherine is.

Conclusion:

6/10

What I’m happiest about is that Flodden got dealt with in one episode because warrior xena Catherine is not what interests me most about this show. Having said that, it was a true shame that James IV died because his were some of the best scenes. This whole show is starting to feel so historical fantasy-ish because the aesthetics are so confused. Granted it’s still pretty (not eyesore like Reign) but it doesn’t penetrate.

I am as always invested in the Poles (and More) but am also starting to get attached to Princess Mary whose actress exudes plenty of charm. This show remains confused with its feminist message because while it shows women being proactive there is so much emphasis on babies that what remains with the mind after watching is this womanish birthdrama, as opposed to a show about struggles which affect both genders.

You might tut at me and say I’m being ridiculous and that it is historically accurate to put so much emphasis on women’s babies and I say that’s swell. I would happily watch a show where that element is strong (most pre 1995 historical dramas are like that with traditionally feminine characters and I gulp them up like sustenance), but if a show promises feminism and women-men being partners I want it to deliver that properly. As I said in my previous post, why do we keep trying to make women engage in acts like war as if such an abhorrent act is the only way to take them seriously? I await the day where cunning, rationality and cool-headedness will be the traits portrayed as feminist ones.

There is nothing else to really comment on... the only potentially deeper message in this is the gender discourse. I am unsure about the accuracy so I can’t speak of the historical value of the interpretation. But what I will say is that though I remain excited for each new episode... I’m just not as invested as I was in TWQ (rewatch every year dont @ me) or TWP despite their many flaws. Some characters pull me in eg Maggie Pole (Carmichael is a bae), Thomas More etc but not the whole cast like TWQ. Anyway... would be interesting to see if anything happens with Lina and Oviedo tommorow as their storyline is conspicuously slow.

#the spanish princess #the spanish princess 2 #fool if you thought I wouldn't jump on the whole 'being a rebel is in my blood' opportunity to bring up Clarence #I was delighted last time when people left comments and stuff #rofl #so yeah #Please please I love discussions and do not think twice before sending me an ask or commenting !#lady plantagenet's series reviews #the dialogue remains a bit trite #the sugared grape counterpart for this episode was edmund's death and the whole ironic reference to Senenca and stoicism #not because the dialogue around edmund's death was particularly poignant but how conspicuously quiet and swift the whole affair was as #...as compared to previous york pretender plotlines left a mournful note #basically I feel like I keep focusing on stuff the show doesn't want me to focus on #and am projecting therefore

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night-dragon937 · 4 years

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I need to share my experience from a few hours ago (writing this at 2 am aug 24 2020) yesterday but first I'm going to slap a huge tw: abuse, Christianity/gay stuff, anxiety attacks, and yelling/screaming, transphobia/homophobia, self harm/cutting and a lot of cussing/swearing onto this. Like this is deeply religious and I'd rather not have discourse on my beliefs.

That should cover it...

Okay so it started out fine, my mom and i were just talking. She was drunk, and attempting to convince me that my asexuality meant that i was straight... But since she was drunk, I'mma give her that. There was a lot of aphobia but that's not what this is about She started telling me about her experience, and best i can describe it, she's a closeted demisexual biromantic lady with a preference for girls and a shit ton of internalized homophobia ("being sexually attracted to women's bodies more than men's doesn't make me lesbian, I'm still straight")

It was a mostly civil conversation, but it was adding onto my bad feelings from my dad the past several weeks making snide hurtful remarks about our religion and my sexuality and gender. Also using the f-slur against me when i had explained to him in the past how badly that word hurts me, to which he apologized profusely and said he'd never have used that word if he knew how it affected me. Obviously a lie, because he's still using it with full knowledge of the effects.

Back to my mom. She started getting into the religious side of it, but we managed to keep it civil, until the very end when she said she'd be praying for me and i said I'd be praying to help figure out who exactly i am, and she remarked "make sure you're praying to the right person" with a really threatening tone to her voice. At that point, i lost it, let her know that her saying that made me want to go back to cutting (in case she wasn't aware) and said that i needed a moment alone (or something along those lines, i was thrown head first into an anxiety attack and can't quite remember very well).

I ran upstairs as she tried to grab me and pull me back, but i managed to make it to my room. I went into a fetal position, because safe, but she came in and all i remember is her screaming repeating some question, i think, at me, me not being able to breathe, her hands squeezing my wrists way too tight, my wrist pinned to the carpet with her knee, the other with her hand as she tried to grab my jaw and force me to look at her.

Her touching me made the attack worse (hours later i still have marks and scratches) and i couldn't talk, think, or breathe. Somehow i was able to choke out repeated pleas for her to stop touching me because it was making everything worse. I don't know how long that lasted. But at some point she stopped grabbing me and just placed her hands on me and started praying in tongues. Like i was fucking demon possessed. Because i had an anxiety attack. Which my parents have been triggering in me for as long as i can remember.

I managed to sit up and get her to stop touching me, but she refused to be less than a foot away from me, even though i was going through a sensory overload and needed personal space. She finally trapped me into a corner of my room and put her arms on either side of me, one of them holding the door closed. She was screaming in my face and i was yelling over her, asking her to give me personal space and stop being so loud so that i could calm down, which she refused. I ended up very trapped and very uncomfortable and doing my best to not have another anxiety attack while replying to the most outlandish of her accusations, but mostly keeping my mouth shut in an attempt to get her to do the same.

She kept using my deadname, like usual, but it was worse for me for some reason at this point. I mentioned that and got yelled at more. I mentioned her pinning my wrists to the ground and got called a liar and she tried to make it so that i couldn't leave and grab a Kleenex until i admitted she was right and that i pinned myself to the ground (???). So i just started describing what i remembered until she got sick of it and let me go wipe my nose. She must have closed my door when she first came in. My dad (stepdad) was standing outside the door, eavesdropping, apparently.

I got a Kleenex but then my mom started yelling at me again, but i mostly just pretended to listen because i didn't want to have another anxiety attack. My dad started piping in and making me feel so much worse. He ended with saying "you're not a Christian. You don't believe in God. Even the devil believes in God." (Implying that I'm worse than the devil). At which point i started breaking down crying. And then i ran outside to have another anxiety attack but this time my mom just stood on the porch because the grass was wet and she was barefoot, but i curled up under the stars for who knows how long as i forced myself to do breathing techniques, and stim by rubbing the wet grass, which really helped ground me.

I went back inside when i was feeling better and got a drink of water and a Kleenex. And they started telling me how much they loved me and that i might not see it, but they were doing this out of love, because they were concerned for my eternity. I kept pointing out things they were doing that hurt me and better ways to do it (constructive criticism, so they know what's bad for me) and they repeatedly told me how much worse they could make it for me and that i should be glad they didn't make it worse. I pointed out that this didn't make their actions better and they said "doesn't make them wrong, either." Which ????? Victim blaming, abuse, what?

I brought up the times I've cried out to God for answers and the few times He's responded, (refusing my request for Him to kill me, telling me I'm not going to Hell for being gay/queer) bc they kept bringing up a few dubiously translated verses of the Bible and they told me that i was listening to the wrong person. That i was worshipping the wrong one. They heavily implied that i pray and worship the devil (disclaimer: i don't judge those who do, that's your life, I'm not gonna try and decide it for you, also i can admit that the church of Satan makes valid points and treats people right, from what I've seen, this is just a huge insult for them to throw at me specifically because of what I've been taught my whole life). Also invalidating my whole experience just because they don't like it.

They keep bringing up me being involved in the community (following queer people on social media, having one queer shirt, going to gsa-which they told me I'm not allowed to be a part of anymore-, having queer friends) as me seeking validation and attention, and that i shouldn't need validation and it shouldn't be about validation if I really think that this is who i am. Aka, because i am human and seek human things, i must be a total fake and fraud about all I've told them (very little). Meanwhile they do the exact same thing with their friends and social media and each other and everything.

My dad kept piping up with totally unrelated, totally unhelpful comments and tangents while my mom recited the same 5 min spiel for at least half an hour. My dad was saying how my grandparents aren't actually Christians because they agree with me that the world isn't black and white and there are some shades of gray, and because they believe once saved, always saved. That there is nothing you can do, as an imperfect human, to remove yourself from the infinite and unconscious love of God. (... I can't believe he fucking believes that humans have the ability to overrule God because it makes it easier for him to blame and condemn people he sees...)

These are the grandparents who have loved me regardless of my sexuality and gender, even tho they don't agree, and made me feel loved and gave me a place to go when i need to escape from my parents. They're the reason I'm keeping my mom's maiden name (since it hasn't been legally changed) because it's their last name, and it's them i want to honor, not my abusive shitty hateful stepdad. Unfortunately they are moving into assisted living because my papa is in a wheelchair, so i can't move in with them.

He ended that tangent with repeatedly telling me that i was not saved. That i was not a Christian. That i didn't believe in God. And that i was going to Hell. Repeatedly.

My mom made me hug her and made me tell her i love her. I ended up exercising to stop myself from becoming suicidal. I don't know if I'll tell anyone irl apart from the one irl friend i have on here. I'm not sure if I'm going to tell my therapist or not. I reached out to two of my christian friends after everything but they were both asleep. I needed to write this all down and put it somewhere public, just to be safe. I'm not safe in my own home and i can't move out because I'm a. Under 18 and b. Broke as hell

There was a lot more that happened, this lasted several hours, but i honestly can't remember all of the details besides what i typed out. Anyway so yeah i kinda wish i were dead but i also wanna stay alive for spite and show them that i can be a fabulous queer Christian and that the world is colorful, and you can't reduce that to monochrome and expect to have an even partially accurate view of the world. I want to help others like me, and help them feel better about myself.

I'm setting this as a queue so that if my parents take my phone away, they can't stop me from posting it (they have no clue how to look at queued posts) and also so that i can go to bed now and look at it again later and edit it

#tw abuse mention #blog post #tw yelling #tw transphobes #tw homophobes #tw cussing #tw cursing #tw swearing #tw anxiety attacks #tw christianity #tw self harm #tw cutting #rant tw #tw rant #long post

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k-popscenxrios · 5 years

Text

Didn’t Ask For This Part 16 (Roommate!JK x OC)

A/N: I’m sorry for the drastic time skip, but there really wasn’t anything interesting plot wise to write about up until this next part of the story. I keep getting more and more ideas for this, so don’t be surprised if the next one isn’t the final part. Also, this is the first part that I’m posting the same day that I’ve finished it. I really do want to finish this story before the release of BTS World! Let’s hope I make that goal!!

Summary: “I didn’t know you hated me so much,” he spoke as he grabbed my wrist and once again turned me around to face him, “and quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve done anything horrible enough for you to hate me to the degree that you do.” “You say that like the hate isn’t mutual,” I remarked as he shook his head. There was a bitter smile on his face as he took a deep breath, “I think you are quite honestly one of the worst human beings I’ve had to come in contact with.”

5.1k words | drama ✞ | fluff ♡ | mature themes (implied smut) ✗

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Finale

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

The summer was flying by a little too quickly for my liking as I looked at the calendar on my phone nervously. Taehyung and Jungkook told me that their dorms were opening again two weeks before their classes officially start. Taehyung was making it sound like they were going to move out once the dorms opened up, but they never clarified anything with me.

That day is fast approaching, and I couldn’t help but feel dread constantly in my gut. We only have a week left until their expected leave, which meant I was going to be living alone again.

I was definitely not ready to wake up to that reality. I was getting so used to the three of us living together that I refused to accept the fact that they’re going to eventually leave.

Jungkook was very good at deflecting all talk about leaving for college. Every time I tried to bring it up, he’d just smile and give me a soft kiss before changing the subject. I couldn’t help but worry about how the two of us will handle being apart from each other. We’re used to seeing each other every single day both at home and at work.

“You know that I’m not going anywhere, right?”

I snapped out of my depressing thoughts as I looked up at Yoongi. We were supposed to be cleaning theaters right now, but we had a power outage due to severe thunderstorms a couple hours ago. Everyone has been passing out apologies over customer’s movies being cut off, giving them free passes for the next time they come in.

We’d closed the theater down to customers for the day, but Yoongi and I were unlucky enough to be two of the people stuck in the building to clean up the nonexistent messes left behind by unhappy customers.

“I know,” I nodded as I locked my phone to quit staring at the haunting dates, “I’m not trying to imply that I’ll be alone at work… it’s just, how do I go back to living alone? I’m used to Jungkook and I making grocery runs together. I’m used to having help when bringing all the bags up the three flights of stairs. I’ve had them around to fix the garbage disposal when it breaks for the four hundredth time. They’ve been around to keep me company and watch shows with me in our free time.”

I paused after my rambling, trying to keep my emotions in check, “I’ve become so dependent on the two of them that it’s going to be hard to adjust to being on my own again. I’m going to look around my apartment and remember all the good times that I had with them.”

“Look, Ari,” Yoongi grabbed my phone and put it face down on the bench in between us, “it just sounds like you need yourself a new roommate. Doesn’t that sound like it’ll fix a lot of your problems?”

My eyes slightly narrowed at nothing in particular before I glanced over at Yoongi curiously, “I guess I didn’t think that I could get another roommate. Even if I do that, it’s not going to be anywhere near the same as how things are now.”

Yoongi looked down and gave me a slight shrug, “You’re still going to miss them, sure, but you’ll have someone to keep you company at home.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, slowly growing fine with the idea, “but how do I go about finding a new roommate? I’d ask Chaeyoung, but I’m pretty sure she’s moving in with her sister once school starts back.”

Yoongi stayed quiet as I looked his way curiously. His eyes were fixated on the ground before he mumbled out his next words.

“I think I know someone who needs a place to stay.”

I grabbed my phone from the bench and scooted closer to him. He glanced over my way for a couple seconds before he sniffed and let a slight laugh out of his mouth, “Ah, never mind. Forget I said anything.”

I pursed my lips and slightly narrowed my eyes at him as he kept his eyes focused on the floor. “Yoongi.”

He didn’t respond, so I sighed and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, “Do you need a place to stay, Min?”

He slightly stiffened as my arm placed around his shoulder, but he didn’t shove me off like I thought he would. He didn’t confirm or deny as I just watched his face carefully. “My mom’s thinking of moving in with her new boyfriend. Quite frankly, I don’t want to live with the guy. He’s nice and all, but he’s…”

“Not your dad,” I finished. Anytime his mom’s boyfriend had come up before, that was what he said. He’s had a tough home life he’s gone through, but he hardly ever talks about it. He hates it when people pity him after finding out his dad was killed in a freak car accident.

“Well, I have a room that’ll be freeing up in the next… week, I guess. They won’t tell me when they’re officially leaving, the jerks.”

Yoongi let a small smile appear on his face as he glanced over at me. I saw the guy smile pretty often, but it was his bright, gummy smile that I’ve only seen a handful of times.

“You don’t think Jungkook will have a problem with you living with another guy?” He asked, the smile not leaving his face.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, moving my arm from around him, “If you’re the guy, he’ll be fine. He trusts you to not make any moves on me.”

Yoongi just laughed and nodded, the mood between us brightening considerably. I felt better about the end of the summer, now. Sure, living with Yoongi won’t be the same as living with Jungkook and Taehyung, but I could learn to get used to it.

“I looked forward to living with you, then,” I nodded, holding my hand out for him to take. He glanced down at my hand before taking it, firmly shaking it.

“Same to you, Ari.”

Yoongi and I were finally free to go home when we met up with Chaeyoung. She had been asked to stay and deep clean behind the concession counters, and I could tell that she was exhausted. They liked to take strange days like this and work us to the bone with deep cleaning. Lucky for Yoongi and I, we got the lesser of the evils.

“I wanna die,” Chaeyoung whined, “I feel like my whole body is covered in grease, sweat, and popcorn. I’m so sick of seeing popcorn you guys. I might go insane.”

“I’m with you, there,” I agreed, “I’ve never really liked popcorn, but this job has made me hate it.”

“I still like it,” Yoongi shrugged as Chaeyoung and I ignored him.

“Anyway, how are things with Jimin?” I asked, Chaeyoung’s mood slightly brightening. She and Jimin have been having a lot of little arguments here than there, but judging from her reaction, the two of them were on good terms again.

“Great, actually. We’ve finally figured out the root of all of our arguing, and now that we’re aware of it, we hardly argue. Jimin’s been really sweet recently, and we’ve actually been trying to schedule our classes together for this coming semester.”

I felt jealousy budding after she said her last words. It must be great going to the same college as a couple… I tried to not feel too bitter towards her, but I couldn’t help but feel that way every once in a while.

“Sounds awesome,” I nodded with a smile on my face. She could even sense my bitterness as she was quick to drop the topic.

“How’s it going with Jungkook and Tae?” she asked, kinda switching topics. I took a deep breath and felt Yoongi’s eyes on me as well.

“They won’t tell me when they’re leaving for sure,” I confessed, “And it’s really bothering me. They could leave as soon as a week from now and I wouldn’t know it. I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if they just all the sudden came up to me tonight and told me that they’re leaving tomorrow.”

“They wouldn’t do that to you, Ari,” Chaeyoung shook her head, but I’m not convinced.

“Wouldn’t they? Jungkook has told me multiple times that he’s not good at goodbyes. I’ll kick his butt if he packs up all his stuff and leaves in the middle of the night without saying goodbye,” I ranted, trying to not get myself too worked up. I felt my heart drop in my chest when I started thinking about just how upset I’ll be if Jungkook leaves without saying goodbye to me. “I want them to make up their minds about this. It’s killing me.”

“I’ll beat it out of them,” Chaeyoung nodded my way with a serious look on her face, “I’m sure they’ve decided by now.”

I just nodded, but I couldn’t let go how paranoid I was making myself. Jungkook would not do that to me. We still have so much that we haven’t talked about. He hasn’t told me about if he’s ever going to drive down to spend the weekend with me. He also hasn’t reassured me that we’re going to stay in touch despite being four hours away from each other.

He’d never consider cutting me off, but I couldn’t help but feel paranoid about it. I knew it was an irrational fear, but I won’t let myself rule it out until I actually talk to him about it.

“I’m gonna head out,” I pointed to my car and started walking toward it, “I’ll keep you two updated once I figure out this mess.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Chaeyoung nodded and sent me a thumbs up, “Everything’s gonna be okay, got it?”

I tried to smile and nod, but it was very forced. They could both tell judging from their concerned looks.

“I hope so.”

…

When I first walked in the door, I felt my heart drop. The apartment was eerily silent which was causing me to get very paranoid. I locked the door behind me, holding my breath and I rushed to look into Jungkook’s room.

His bags were still here. Thank God…

I looked into Taehyung’s room and his bags were also still here. They’re not gone, they’re probably just hanging out somewhere. I can wait for them to get home and then hopefully they’ll tell me when they’re leaving…

…

It was about 1am when the sound of the front door opening woke me up. I had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for the two of them to get home. I didn’t expect them to be out that late.

I started to get paranoid that they were drunk, but as I opened my eyes and met with Jungkook’s, he just looked tipsy. Knowing him, he could be a little more drunk than he lead on. He was very good at seeming sober it he wasn’t too far gone.

“Hey,” he said softly as I sat up and moved my hair out of my face. He sat down next to me on the couch and I could faintly smell alcohol mixed in with his cologne.

“Hey, Kook. Where were you guys?” I covered my face as I let a soft yawn escape. Taehyung walked over to the two of us, plopping down on the couch to my other side.

“We just went out with some college friends. They drove down here to spend the day with us, so that’s why we didn’t get home till now,” Taehyung explained as I just nodded and glanced back in Jungkook’s direction. His eyes moved away from mine as he noticed me looking at him. He was obviously more intoxicated than Taehyung, and the look he was suddenly trying to hide from me was making me feel uneasy.

“Do I know these friends?” I asked as I looked back over at Taehyung. His previous relaxed attitude was slowly shifting to discomfort as I spun around to look at Jungkook. I caught the tail end of Jungkook motioning for Taehyung to keep quiet. My eyes narrowed at him before I spun around and gave Taehyung a pressed look.

“I doubt it,” Taehyung shook his head, ignoring the intensity in my eyes, “Yugyeom, Youngjae, and Baekhyun? I don’t think I’ve mentioned any of them to you.”

I could almost hear Jungkook sigh as I swallowed and bit the inside of my cheek. So first, he won’t tell me when they’re leaving for sure. Second, he’s hiding something from me about who he was with tonight. What’s next? At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if he packed his things and left for college in the middle of the night.

“So it was just the five of you?” I asked as Taehyung raised his eyebrows, “And nothing… bad happened tonight, right? Like, nothing you’d need to hide from me.” I paused and turned to face Jungkook. His face was burning red as my eyes tore into him. “Right, Jungkook?”

Taehyung put a hand on my shoulder and just laughed it off, “Nothing happened, Ari. Jungkook’s just paranoid that you’re gonna be mad at him for drinking a little too much.”

I didn’t believe Taehyung for one second. Jungkook had gotten drunk before now, and I was certainly not angry with him in any way. He was lying to me again.

“Jungkook,” I called out to him as he stumbled over to me. I had been out with Chaeyoung for the night, only to come home to find a drunk Jungkook. He grabbed onto my shirt and buried his face into my hair with a sigh.

“Babe, you’re home,” he softly spoke into my ear, his breath tickling me as shivers ran through my body.

“And you’re drunk,” I commented as he just giggled.

“Sorry,” he didn’t sound very sorry, “Hoseok came over and brought some alcohol. I may have had some.”

“Some?” I laughed and pushed him away slightly so that I could look into his eyes. His eyes were clouded over as I just smiled and rolled my eyes. “Let’s get you to your room, okay?”

“No,” he shook his head, wrapping his arms around my waist to pull my hips to his. “I wanna stay in your room.”

“No,” I echoed, shaking my head, “Taehyung’s still not completely okay with seeing us all close to each other. He’ll have a heart attack.”

“Taehyung’s staying the night at Hoseok’s.”

I froze in his hold as I looked into his eyes, biting my lip as I realized what that meant. “You’re serious?”

“Dead serious,” he whispered as I felt a smirk appear on my face. Jungkook’s eyes widened with slight innocence as I reached up and grabbed the collar of his shirt.

“You should have lead with that, Kook,” I pulled his mouth down on mine, kissing him violently. His body was quick to respond as he moved his hands from my waist to hold the backs of my thighs. I laughed against his mouth as I jumped up, wrapping my legs around his waist.

“I’ve waited all summer for this,” Jungkook swallowed and looked deep into my eyes. I could still smell the alcohol on his breath, but I could tell he was sobering up from our kiss.

“Hopefully this will happen more often,” I mumbled as Jungkook started walking toward my bedroom.

“If you’ll act like this when it happens, I’ll lock Taehyung out of the apartment.”

I swallowed and tried to keep myself calm as I sat between the two of them. I wanted to just storm off to my room like I would have in the past. It was very tempting to do, but I didn’t have time for this. Jungkook and I only had so much time left, and if I were to give him the silent treatment, we would get less time together.

“Look,” I sighed and looked over at Jungkook with a slightly defeated expression, “I know something’s up. I really don’t want you two hiding things from me. If I’m gonna be mad at you over something, can you just tell me so that we can have it out and forgive each other?”

I was hoping that Jungkook would spill, but his expression didn’t soften even a little bit. Why was he being so stubborn?

“Taehyung,” I turned to him, but he was also closing himself off from me. “You guys, I know something’s up. You guys look guilty as hell,” I frowned, turning back to Jungkook.

“Nothing happened, Ari. We’re just tired.”

I felt the urge to get up and storm away, but once again, I talked myself out of it. I need to stick this out. I have to resolve this. I only have a week left with him.

“Jeon Jungkook,” I turned completely to him as I noticed him sharply inhale, “I dare you to say that to me again.”

Jungkook’s jaw clenched as I watched his internal struggle through his eyes. He looked like he was about to cave, and I felt relief starting to wash over me. We could talk this out and go back to normal for our last few days together.

“We just got a little drunk. Nothing happened.”

I closed my eyes and swallowed, trying to keep my anger on the low. It’s been so long since Jungkook and I have had a legitimate argument, and I wanted more than anything for this to be a problem that we quickly resolved.

I turned to Taehyung as a last effort to figure out what these two weren’t telling me. “Tae…”

He just shook his head, “Nothing happened.”

I felt like I was surrounded by a bunch of delusional parrots as I ran my fingers through my messy hair. I felt tears stinging my eyes as I realized that this night was going to end the way that I was begging it not to. I’m going to go to bed angry and this conflict is going to just stir between the two of us until he fesses up.

“You know, Kook,” I stood up and spun around to glare at him half-heartedly. “I will be less angry at you if you just fess up now. The longer you wait to tell me what’s going on, the more upset it’s going to make me. Quite frankly, I’m already mad and I don’t even know what happened.”

I gave him one last chance to explain himself as I stared deep into his eyes. His jaw clenched and I noticed the deep breath he took. His hands shook as he rubbed the knees of his jeans, his mouth opening ever so slightly.

“Ari,” Taehyung shook his head and let a slight laugh out of his mouth, “Nothing happened. We were just out with our friends before college starts again.”

“Right,” I laughed in disbelief. My eyes glared at Jungkook as I gave him a few more seconds to interject.

Once again, he said nothing.

“Goodnight, then,” I whispered, trying to not let my emotions get the best of me. It’d been so long since Jungkook made me cry…

Taehyung had to be at work fairly early, so Jungkook and I were left alone for the morning. Normally we would take that time to be disgustingly cheesy with one another and at the very least make out with each other on the couch.

Today was very different. The air felt very tense and I hardly left my room to avoid having to talk to him.

I felt like we were back at our old habits before the two of us got together, and it sucked. I threw several pity parties in my room as I thought about how much fun we could be having right now. Our days were numbered, and Jungkook was choosing to push me further away.

“Yoongi,” I whined into my phone as I finally gave in to my tears. I couldn’t stop thinking about Jungkook and how worried he has me. It felt like he was trying to push me away, and that thought was terrifying. What would possess him to think that was a good idea?

“What’s wrong?” Yoongi’s voice sounded worried as I sniffed, trying to keep my emotions under my control. I slowly calmed down my soft sobs, trying to not be too loud as to attract Jungkook inside.

“Jungkook’s scaring me,” I grabbed my pillow and hugged it to my body. I rested my chin on the top of it as my tears started soaking into the object. “It feels like he’s trying to push me away. I love him so much, and I’m afraid that he’s going to try and break up with me when he leaves.”

“Well that makes no damn sense,” Yoongi sounded pissed as I nodded, sniffing as quietly as possible. “He’s disgustingly in love with you. Why would he even consider something so childish?”

“I don’t know!” I raised my voice a little too much as I cursed under my breath. Jungkook definitely heard that. There was no way that he didn’t…

This was normally when Jungkook would come in to talk to me. Every time he heard any loud noises from my room, he’d come in to check on me. It was really cute, honestly.

I felt my face twist with disgust as I glared at my phone in my hand. Soomin had texted me the grossest text I’d ever read about some guy who’s still in high school! She was being a pedophile over him! I had been on the phone with her several times over him, and she continued to ignore my warnings.

“Ugh, she’s such a tramp!” I screamed in frustration, not taking into account that it was nearly two in the morning. I felt my disgust increasing the more she texted me, and I made more frustrated noises.

“Ari?” I spun around to see Jungkook poking his head into my room. His eyes were laced with worry and exhaustion as I realized I had woken him up.

“Kook,” my eyes softened as he stepped into my room to walk over to me. I was on the edge of my bed, pillows thrown around the room from me trying to quietly get out all my frustration.

“What’s wrong, babe?” He asked, pulling my desk chair to the side of my bed to sit in front of me. I dangled my feet off the edge of the bed and leaned closer to him.

“Soomin won’t listen to me about her pedophilia. She’s going to get in serious trouble for this, and she’s blowing it all off. She’s convinced that it’s okay because he turns 18 in three months.”

Jungkook sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, “I forgot about her talking to that kid. She really thinks it’s okay?”

“Yes!” I cried as Jungkook grabbed my hand with his. I looked down at our hands and felt his touch calming me down, “She’s lost her mind… I don’t know why I’m still talking to her.”

“I don’t know, either,” Jungkook laughed nervously as he pulled me further to the edge, “Do you want to stay in my room tonight?”

I raised my eyebrows as I felt my mind moving on from the frustrating conversation I had just been having.

“Your bed’s small, though,” I mentioned. It was the reason that we never stayed in his room if we slept in the same bed together.

“I know,” he smirked and winked as I scoffed and ran my fingers through his soft, messy hair. I ruffled the hair a little as he closed his eyes, liking the feeling of my hand in his hair despite making it a mess.

“Just stay in here with me?” I offered, smiling at the sight of his relaxed smile. He didn’t say anything as he hopped out of the chair and jumped onto the bed, causing it to bounce me a little.

“You didn’t even need to ask, babe.”

The seconds ticked by as I felt my heart being squeezed in my chest. He’s not coming. He’s… not coming.

“Yoongi, I…” I took a deep breath, “I can’t take this. I’ve gotta have it out with Jungkook. He can’t do this to me. He’s being a selfish asshole. He’s reverting to how he was before we got together.”

“Why would he want to do that?” Yoongi asked, confusion laced in his voice.

“Because he’s an idiot. I think that he’s too afraid to say goodbye to me, so instead he’s shutting me out. It’s as if he feels like this will be less painful when in reality, it’s making it excruciatingly hard.”

I was quick to hang up the call after I made up my mind to try and fix this. If they’re leaving in six days, I want to have these six days with Jungkook. I want to have so much fun with him that he’ll forget that our days are numbered.

I didn’t even knock on his door as I swung the door open, scaring Jungkook as he looked up at me with wide eyes. He was just scrolling through his phone when I had stormed in. He definitely heard my frustrated words to Yoongi.

I was opening my mouth to snap at Jungkook over pushing me away, but I stopped short seeing him. I saw him just yesterday, but seeing him right now was just… different. He was the same guy I’d been spending my summer with, but everything felt so wrong.

I felt like he had already made the decision to push me away without thinking about how hard this was going to affect me.

“Jungkook, I want you to tell me what happened last night.”

I kept my words short and sweet as Jungkook just looked at me with wide eyes. I was afraid that he was going to snap back at me, but it looked like I knocked the breath out of him.

I took a few steps closer to him and felt my hands shaking at my sides. His eyes studied my face as his expression dropped to worried. He noticed that I’ve been crying.

“Please,” I whispered, standing at the foot of his bed. He swallowed while looking at me, and I watched the internal battle I could see taking place in his eyes. He looked like he was on the edge of convincing himself to keep me away from him, but I broke him as another tear fell from my eyes.

I walked to the side of his bed and lowered myself to sit on the edge of it. My back was against his knees and I felt my breathing stagger at the simple touch.

Jungkook looked down at my skin that was touching his as I just continued looking at him with pleading eyes. His breathing was irregular as his fists clenched in his lap. He looked like he was trying to build his wall back up, but I wasn’t about to let that happen.

“Jungkook,” I moved my body closer to the front of the bed, my side now pressing up against his torso. I faced him and reluctantly reached out to grab one of his tense hands. “I love you.”

I saw all his barriers break as his bottom lip started quivering. His eyes shied away from mine before he took a deep breath. This was obviously as hard on him as it was me.

“Stop pushing me away, Kook,” I managed to get out as fresh tears began to build up into my eyes. I squeezed his hand lightly before Jungkook moved to intertwine our fingers. A tear dropped from his eyes as he sat up to get closer to me.

“I love you, too,” he nodded, pulling me closer to him, “I love you so damn much, and please remember that as I tell you this.”

I felt my hand grip his slightly tighter than before as I just nodded, wiping my tears away from my eyes with my free hand.

“Last night when hanging out with the guys, we ran into Jennie,” he paused as I felt my muscles tense. Since Taehyung still worked with her, it wasn’t like she was completely out of our lives, but Jungkook hadn’t spoken to her since that night at the movie theater. I didn’t feel jealousy, but I did feel paranoia filling my emotions.

“She was mainly talking to Yugyeom because they had met a couple times before. She was kinda flirting with him a little until I stopped her and told her to back off. She didn’t like how harsh I was with her, so she made it her goal to stay around us for the rest of the night. She wouldn’t shut up about how things used to be with us, and I gave in and started getting carried away with my drinks. I was about to drink myself into a coma when she stopped me and…”

I saw another tear trail down his face as his bit his lip and looked away, “She leaned in to kiss me. I just barely pulled out of the way in time to keep her fish lips off of me, but she was being persistent…

…

*Third Person POV*

“Jungkookie,” She whined as Jungkook continued to keep her away from him. She was just about as drunk as he was, and he was terrified that she was going to catch him off guard and assault his lips with her’s. He’d never forgive himself if he let her lips touch his…

“Kiss me, dammit,” she grumbled as Jungkook just spun around and shook his head. He tried to move away from her, but her hands were quick to grab his wrist and forcefully pull him back to her.

“I’m the better fit for you, Kookie,” she forced him to face her as his annoyance was growing in his chest. He had come out tonight to have fun with his friends, not to be assaulted by his ex-girlfriend… “You wanna know why I’m better?”

“You’re not better, Jennie. Go find some other guy to screw with,” Jungkook pulled his arm out of her hold only for her hands to grab his shoulders. His hands were quick to grab her wrists, but when she spoke her next words, he froze. Nothing could have prepared him for what she was going to say.

She caught him so off guard that the moment he froze in shock, she leaned up and pressed a sloppy kiss to his mouth. He was quick to shove her off and tell her to piss off, but even as he stormed away from her, the words played through his head over and over again.

Was he really going to have to deal with her like this regularly? He couldn’t handle this… He won’t be able to take it. He’ll lose his mind if what she said really was true…

“You’ll be seeing a lot of me. I’ve transferred to your college this coming semester, Kookie.”

A/N: I don’t hate the real Jennie, I swear! She just happens to be the antagonist to this story!! (And she wasn’t originally going to be when I first wrote her in!) But sorry for any errors that I didn’t catch. I very loosely edited this. And I give everyone permission to beat Jungkook’s butt for his stupidity, but be gentle!

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

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i-swear-im-not-crazy-well-maybe · 4 years

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Haven’t posted in a few weeks so I’d thought I’d update. I’ll split it into 2 posts on what’s been happening and how I’m feeling right now.

Things have been..up and down to say the least. I’ve been physically unwell, constant fever, intense itching, extreme fatigue and rapid weight loss, extreme sweating, nausea, loss of appetite, saw jaw and teeth amongst other symptoms. I go to my GP because I had the fever for a month and he said it was unusual to have it for so long, he thought I may have an infection and put me on antibiotics and said I should feel better in a couple of days and if not by the end of the week, he gave me a form for blood tests and urine test and a chest X-ray. It comes to the end of the week and I’m worse and my fever is higher so my mum took me for my bloods. I was feeling really unwell and should of laid down for the blood test. Anyway I told her where my best vein usually is because I basically have shit veins, she thought she could feel it and stuck the needle in but no blood came out so she tried my other arm, put the needle in and a little bit of blood came out but my vein collapsed and she kept moving the needle around and in deeper, this was making me feel more sick and I said I don’t feel to good and she yelled for my mum and I lost hearing and my vision and passed out. When I came round they put me on a bed and tried again in my hand, I really wanted this blood test done, she got it first go yay. Then I did the urine test and left and went to radiology for my chest X-ray. I went home and slept. I went back to my GP the next week for the results and I was feeling worse, fever still up, bad nausea and I had bad chest pain. My chest X-ray was fine, some of my bloods were off. I’m severely iron deficient anemic so he put me on iron tablets, my sugars and cholesterol is slightly high but nothing to worry about yet but my liver levels came back pretty abnormal so he said I needed an urgent abdomen ultrasound. I had the ultrasound that day, still waiting on results. Also my urine test came back with white blood cells in them which indicates infection and he was going to put me back on antibiotics but I said no as I have no symptoms of a urine infection, he wants me to repeat the urine test but I still haven’t done that yet. I’m feeling a bit better with daily pain and nausea meds, still have a weird fever.

Anyway medical stuff over. On a sad note...my friend committed suicide :( I went to her funeral this week. It was the first funeral I’ve ever been too and it was so so sad, I cried so much. Her family were saying she was let down by the mental health system and medical professionals didn’t listen to her.my dad just turned and looked at me, because that’s exactly what’s happening to me. She was only 21. So many people turned up to her funeral, it’s just so sad, and such a shock.

With NDIS, still hasn’t started yet even though it officially should of started on 29th of January. I’m supposed to have my support coordinator named Natalie who is a registered nurse and she’s supposed to ring me to organise everything but she hasn’t yet. I was supposed to go into the NDIS office for a meeting with my planner but he rang 45 mins before my appointment and said he had to cancel because of an emergency, I wasn’t buying it, I knew there was more to it than that. So I texted him and asked if I did something wrong and if he was scared of me too like everyone else. He said he wasn’t scared of me and had to go by law and by what his bosses say. Then he rings my dad and said we can have the meeting over the phone, so we did. He talked about my plan and my funding. I have nearly $300 000 funding, he said it’s the biggest plan and funding he’s ever done and had to go through a lot of phone calls and stuff for it to be approved and it did. Also he said that everyday 2 care workers will be coming into my house for 6 hours a day, in my plan it said 4 hours a day but over the phone he said 6 hours. He also said I have to have 2 care workers come because of my complex history and past violence and stuff. I’m also being funded for respite which he said they will pay for a 2 week holiday to a hotel or resort or if I want to get away down south or somewhere. It’s supposed to help me learn to live independently for when I move out. It also came out that yes he did have to cancel my appointment because of safety concerns. I knew it. People just cant trust me, it hurts.

I’ve been off meds for about 5 weeks now. I’ll write an update soon about how that’s going.

#schizophrenia #mentalhealth #paranoidschizophrenia #schizophrenic #hallucinations #help #voices #medication #meds #paranoid schizophrenia #ndis #depressed #depression #suicide #suicidal #funeral #life

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cristinablackthornkingson · 5 years

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Shadowhunters Short Story #41. Kitty mundane AU.

It is the middle of September 2014 and 16 year old Kit Herondale-Carstairs has abandoned his homework in favor of playing with his 5 month old sister Mina. Mina isn’t Kit’s biological sister, her parents Tessa and Jem Carstairs were friends with his parents, more specifically they were related to his mother some how, Tessa is her far out cousin or something like that. Kit’s mother Rosemary died shortly after he was born so he has absolutely no memories of her. His father Johnny was left to raise him alone and he wasn’t the best father, he never told Kit he loved him or made him feel safe and loved, he was always inviting shady suspicious people over to the house, Kit couldn’t know for sure but he was almost certain his father had been some sort of drug dealer or something. This time last year his dad had been killed by some other rival drug gang. For a few months Kit had been fostered by Andrew Blackthorn, where he met Andrew’s kids Helen, Mark, Julian, twins Ty and Livvy, Dru and Tavvy. He also met a girl named Emma Carstairs, who was also related to him somehow and good friends with The Blackthorns, she was also a far out cousin of Jem’s.

While staying with The Blackthorns Kit had become particularly close with the twins and Dru, especially Ty. After a few weeks of hanging around with the twins and getting to know them he realized he had a massive, massive crush on Ty. He had realized he is pansexual when he was about 14, but he thought he would always have to stay in the closet, his father didn’t seem to be the most accepting person in the world and would probably have sent him to conversion therapy or something awful like that. However when Kit found out that Helen is bisexual and engaged to a woman and that Mark is also bisexual and in a polyamorous relationship, Kit found the courage to confide in Ty that he is pansexual. To his surprise Ty then told him he’s gay but hasn’t told anyone. Kit was delighted that there was a chance Ty would like him back but he didn’t get his hopes up. Over the next few weeks they grew closer and closer until one day Ty randomly asked Kit if he’d like to go on a date with him. Kit was shocked but instantly agreed and not long after that they officially became a couple, though they didn’t tell anyone.

After a few weeks of staying with The Blackthorns Kit got a letter from Tessa and Jem Carstairs, explaining who they are and how they know Kit’s family and offering to meet him and offering for him to move in with them. At first Kit was hesitant but he agreed to at least meet them. They arrived at the Blackthorn's house a few days later and Kit was shocked to see how young they were, and that Tessa was visibly pregnant. They couldn’t be more than 25 and they were expecting their own child, Kit couldn’t understand why they would want a troubled broody teenager too.

However Tessa and Jem turned out to be two of the nicest people he had ever met and by the end of the meeting he found himself agreeing to move in with them. They didn’t live far from The Blackthorns so Kit could keep in touch with them, and he wouldn’t have to switch schools. School had become a lot more bearable now had friends, he and Ty had a lot of classes together and just sitting beside Ty made everything more bearable for Kit.

Kit didn’t tell Tessa and Jem about his relationship with Ty or his sexuality, he really wasn’t sure how they would react, he was terrified they would throw him out and be disgusted by him, so he kept quiet.

5 months after Kit moved in with Tessa and Jem, Tessa gave birth to a little girl that she and Jem named Wilhelmina Yiqang Ke Carstairs. At first Kit was very weary of the new baby, he wasn’t sure he could trust himself not to hurt her or say something stupid, but he had always adored her and after a few weeks his fears and worries melted away. Often when Kit got home from a bad day at school, he would drop his bag, pick up his baby sister and instantly feel better.

Right now Mina is just learning to roll, and Kit is trying to catch it on camera, but she seems to be camera shy. They are laying on the floor in her nursery which is right next door to Kit’s room. He had been doing his homework when he heard Mina babbling to herself, obviously awake from her nap, and decided to come in and play with her for a bit, he had told himself he would only play with her for half an hour, then he would take her to Jem and Tessa and go finish his homework, but it had been over an hour and Kit decided he could get up early in the morning and finish his homework.

“Come on Min-Min roll over, I know you can do it!” Kit encourages. Mina smiles widely at him but doesn’t budge. Kit grabs one of Mina’s favorite toys from her crib and places it behind her, hoping it will encourage her to roll. Mina gives Kit an unimpressed look and once again doesn’t budge. She is extremely stubborn, something Kit can relate to.

A few minutes later he hears the door to the nursery creek open and Mina’s face lights up.

“What are you two up to?” Tessa softly asks. She had been wondering why Mina had slept for an extra hour, it was so unlike her, but now she can see she hasn’t been asleep at all.

“I’m trying to get her to roll over but she just won’t.” Kit says.

“She will in her own time, aren’t you suppose to be doing homework?” Tessa asks, raising an eyebrow at Kit.

“I’ll finish it later.” Kit promises. Tessa and Jem aren’t extremely strict about Kit and his schoolwork but they do think it is very important for Kit to finish his homework, study and work really hard. Tessa is a qualified nurse and midwife though she’s currently on maternity leave, and Jem is a high school teacher who mainly teaches History and Music, thankfully though he doesn’t teach at the same high school Kit attended, that would have been mortifying.

“Are you having trouble with any of your subjects? Jem and I could help you and I’m sure Ty could too, you two certainly spend enough time together.” Tessa gently says, causing Kit to blush. Does she suspect that he and Ty are more than friends? He honestly can not keep living like this, constantly hiding his feelings and not being able to be him true self, he needs to come out to Jem and Tessa, if they kick him out he can probably move back in with The Blackthorns, Andrew had made it clear that he is always welcome there, and he would get to be with Ty more often.

“No it’s fine thanks.” Kit quietly replies, turning his attention back to Mina. If Jem and Tessa kick him out, he’ll miss this little one the most.

“Alright if you’re sure, dinner will be ready soon.” Tessa says, trying to hide the worry in her tone, she can tell something is off with Kit and that he wants to be alone right now.

When Tessa leaves the nursery Kit sighs and looks back to Mina. He pushes himself up from the floor, sitting back against the wall before he picks Mina up and balance her in his lap, which she loves. She is the sweetest, happiest little girl and makes Kit so happy, he has always wanted a little brother or sister, and Mina is the best he could ask for.

“Oh Mina I just don’t know what to do.” Kit quietly says, as Mina looks at him with her big brown eyes filled with curiosity. “I mean, I’m not ashamed of my sexuality at all, in fact I want to shout it from the rooftops. But at the same time I’m really scared about how Tessa and Jem are going to react, if they kick me out I won’t get to see you anymore Min-Min, and the thought of that just kills me. But I’m so tired of hiding who I am, Min, and I’m tired of hiding my relationship with Ty, I want to be out and open and honest but I’m scared, I’m so scared and I just don’t know what to do.” When Kit finishes his rant he is close to tears of frustration, then Mina smiles widely at him, her eyes lit up with joy, and he can’t hold the tears back anymore. He holds his sister tightly and closely and lets the tears pour down his face, knowing that he has to tell Tessa and Jem soon and there is every chance they will kick him out and he’ll be on his own again.

Little did he know that Tessa had heard every word he said, through the baby monitor.

Later that evening once they’ve all had dinner and Mina is down for the night, Kit works up the courage to tell Tessa and Jem the truth. He is nervous, more nervous than he’s ever been before, but he knows he can’t live a lie anymore. When he walks into the living room he finds Jem grading papers and Tessa reading The Handmaid’s Tale by Margret Atwood.

“Tessa, Jem.... can I talk to you for a bit?” Kit asks in a tone full of nerves. Tessa smiles brightly at him and sets her book aside.

“Of course, come sit down.”She says, patting the free seat next to her.

“Is everything alright?” Jem asks in a worried tone. He is always worried about his kids, he was a total mess throughout Tessa’s pregnancy, wanting to rush her to hospital every time she so much as flinched.

“I.... need to tell you something.” Kit quietly says, not meeting their eyes.

“You haven’t gotten someone pregnant have you?” Jem asks in a teasing tone, trying to lighten the mood. Kit gives a short laugh and quietly says

“No, that would be easier to tell you than what I’m about to say. I... don’t know how you’re going to feel about this, you’ll probably hate me and throw me out but... I.... well I’m not gay but I’m not straight either. I’m pansexual, I’m attracted to boys, girls, non-binary people... gender doesn’t play a part in my attraction to people and... right now I... I’m in a relationship with another boy.” Once Kit has finished his explanation, he buries his face in his hands in an attempt to cover up the fact that he’s started to cry.

“Oh Kit, baby don’t cry, come here my love.” Tessa softly says, pulling Kit into her arms, holding him tight and close. “Baby, look at me.”She softly adds, stroking Kit’s cheek with her thumb. Kit lifts his head from her chest, his blue eyes still filled with tears.

Before Tessa says anything, Jem gets up and sits on Kit’s other side, wrapping his arms around he and Tessa.

“Kit, my sweet boy, Jem and I don’t care about your sexuality, we could never hate you for something like that, especially when neither Jem nor I are straight either.” Tessa quietly says. Kit’s eyes widen with shock, this wasn’t something he was expecting her to say.

“Y-you’re not?”He stammers.

“No, Tessa is demisexual which means she only experiences attraction to people she knows well, and I’m bisexual.”Jem gently explains.

“So... you don’t hate me? You’re not going to throw me out?” Kit asks in a tearful tone.

“Of course not Kit, you’re our baby, our son, we would be disgusting awful parents if we stopped loving you because of your sexuality, we just want you to be happy and safe.” Tessa gently explains.

“I love you too, I’m so glad you don’t hate me, I didn’t want to leave.”Kit tearfully admits, wiping at his tears.

“You can live with us all your life if that’s what makes you happy.” Tessa gently says.

“So who’s this boy your seeing? Can we meet him?” Jem asks.

“I... well you see he’s not out yet and you know him, so I can’t tell you who it is but he’s wonderful and amazing and I love him.” Kit explains.

“I see, well as long as he treats you well and makes you happy then I’m happy.” Tessa says.

“I’m happy for you too Kit but know that I’m not going to stop worrying about you now and how your boyfriend is treating you, if he ever hurts you, you just come to me and I’ll deal with him okay?” Jem says in a serious tone. Kit laughs lightly and says

“Yeah okay dad.” He freezes when he realizes what he’s just said. He always called Tessa and Jem by their names, even though they were very much like parents to him, this was the first time he had called Jem ‘dad’ and he hadn’t meant to. “I... is it okay if I call you dad?” Kit quietly asks.

“Only if I can call you Christopher.” Jem teases, knowing that Kit hates being called by his full name or any variation of it, though he himself thinks it is a wonderful name. Kit grins shyly at him and says

“You can call me Christopher once a day.” Jem grins at him and nods.

“Deal!”

The next day Kit leaves for school a bit earlier than usual so that he can walk by the Blackthorn's and wait for Ty who always left a bit earlier than his siblings. He wanted to tell Ty that he had come out and Tessa and Jem are so wonderful and understanding.

Kit gave Ty a quick text to let him know he would wait by his house to walk to school with him, just before he left. Now he has been standing outside The Blackthorn’s house for about ten minutes, waiting for Ty. As Kit runs through a mental list of all the exams he has coming up, he hears a door open and shut behind him, and he turns to see Ty walking toward him, his headphones around his neck, grinning at Kit. Ty is autistic and also has sensory processing disorder, meaning everything seems brighter, louder, stronger smelling, etc. for him. Sometimes it really overwhelms him, especially the loud noises, so he often wears headphones to block out the noise. Other kids in school are always laughing at him and making him the brunt of the joke but Ty always has someone to stand up for him, usually it’s Livvy and Ty in school, anywhere else it’s all of his siblings and his father who stand up for him and defended him.

“Hey.” Kit lightly says, as Ty reaches his side.

“Hi, I missed you.” Ty softly says, leaning in to give Kit a quick kiss.

“I missed you too, how was your weekend? Did you do anything interesting or fun?” Kit asks, as they link hands and set off down the road toward school.

“I came out to my family.” Ty says in a nonchalant tone, surprising Kit. As far as he was aware Ty had no plans to come out anytime soon.

“Really?” Kit asks.

“Yeah, Helen and Aline set a wedding date and Mark’s going to be a dad, Cristina’s pregnant, I figured since there had already been two big announcements I might as well come out, I thought it might not seem such a big deal compared to Helen and Mark’s news.” Ty explains.

“So how did it go?” Kit curiously asks.

“Great, everyone was fine with it, Mark says he always knew I’m gay and so does dad, no one made a big deal out of it or anything which I’m really glad about. I told them I was dating someone but I didn’t tell them it was you because I know you aren’t out yet.” Ty tells him.

“Actually I am, now. I came out to Tessa and Jem last night and they were totally fine with it, they were really accepting. I told them I was dating someone too but I didn’t say it was you either because I thought you were still in the closet.” Kit says, laughing at the irony of it all.

“I’m okay with you telling Tessa and Jem you’re dating me, are you okay with me telling my family I’m dating you?” Ty asks.

“Yes of course! I want the whole world to know about us Ty, I love you so much and I want everyone to know it!” Kit exclaims.

“I love you too.” Ty quietly says, squeezing Kit’s hand softly.

“I knew it!” Comes a familiar female voice from behind them. Ty and Kit turn to see Livvy standing a few feet behind them, grinning triumphantly.

“Did you follow us?” Kit asks in a tone of astonishment. He never thought that anyone would follow them, especially not Livvy.

“That’s not important Christopher, what’s important is that you two are dating and I knew it all along!” Livvy exclaims, waving away Kit’s question.

“How did you know? I never told you.” Ty asks his twin, as she runs to catch up with them.

“You didn’t have to, it is so obvious just from the way you two look at each other, I remember mom and dad use to look at each other like that and Helen and Aline look at each other the same way, also Kit’s whole face turns red every time your name is brought up Ty, also through our twin bond I can feel the love you have for him!” Livvy exclaims in a smug tone.

“No you can’t, that’s not a thing.” Ty says in an amused tone.

“Ty! Shut up, you ruined it! I was trying to freak Kit out!” Livvy says in an amused tone.

“That’s not very nice.” Ty lightly says, looping his free arm through Livvy’s.

“It’s also not very nice to keep secrets from your twin! When are you two going to tell everyone else?” Livvy curiously asks. Ty and Kit share a look and Kit says

“Today? I can come around to yours after school and when we’ve told your family Ty, you can come back to mine and we can tell Tessa and Jem.” Ty nods and says

“Okay, sounds good to me.”

“Hey you two should have a double wedding with Helen and Aline!” Livvy chirps.

“We’re 16 Liv, we can’t legally get married. Also we’ve only been together a few months, it’s a bit soon for marriage.” Kit says in an amused tone.

“Details details Christopher, I’m going back to the house to get my bag, you two go on with me but don’t get up to anything too crazy.” Livvy says, winking at them before turning and running back to the house.

“I think she’s more invested in our relationship than us.” Kit jokingly says.

“She’s just excited for us, for me, she’s really happy I’m out now and that I’m happy with you, it’s rather sweet.” Ty says in a tone of affection.

“I’m happy you’re happy with me too, I love you.” Kit quietly says, pausing at the side of a shop and pulling Ty closer to him.

“I love you too.” Ty quietly says, running his fingers through Kit’s thick blonde hair.

“Kiss me.” Kit quietly says. And he does, and Kit never wants him to stop and Ty doesn’t want to stop either, and that is how a few minutes later they decide to bunk off school and spend the day together, finally being able to be their true selves.

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jiminniethemarshmallow · 6 years

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Forgiveness (Drabble #8)

1. “I missed you so much” 2. “Like what you see?” 48. Gym 75. Blowjob 100. Makeup Sex

It has been an entire week since you and Jimin had your argument. An entire week since you had last seen or spoken to him. You and Jimin didn’t fight often, most disputes were over trivial things like where to eat for diner or which movie you should see at the theatre, never anything like this. It started when you went to go out with your friends last week to a club a bit farther from your home than Jimin was comfortable with, but you assured him that your friends knew the area well and that it wasn’t anywhere shady. As you were getting ready to leave, Jimin made a comment about your outfit, saying it was too revealing for you to wear out especially as a woman going to a club without male supervision— a comment that made you scoff. You weren’t alone, you reasoned, you’d be with a group of your closest friends the entire time, but he worried what might happen if you got separated or if they all decided to leave with other people, leaving you to fend for yourself. After talking your way out of his interrogation, you came to a compromise— you would text him around midnight to tell him things were okay and that you were safe and then text or call him again when you got home so he knew you made it back safely.

Long story short, you forgot. Jimin received your message at midnight, but didn’t hear from you after that. He worried himself for hours trying not to panic because he knew you liked to stay out late when you were with friends, but when you didn’t return his calls or texts, his resolve broke and he stormed to your house. Your lights were on when he got there, a clear sign that you were in fact home and while relief flooded his chest, Jimin could only feel the boiling anger crawling up his neck because you so blatantly ignored his request. He used the key you gave him to enter, not even bothering to knock, and when he came in he found you passed out on your couch, still fully dressed in your scanty dress and sprawled half off the cushions.

“(Y/n).” Jimin called, his voice hollow and deep as he watched you come to your senses groggily and look up at him. His eyebrows furrowed and you could see his lip curling into a frown when he noticed that you were very drunk, eyes glossy and body unstable.

“Jimin?” You mumble, squinting in the light at his figure hovering over you.

“Why didn’t you text me when you got back like I asked?” He got straight to the point.

“Huh?” You were still struggling to comprehend the situation, wondering how Jimin got here and exactly how you got home yourself.

“What time did you get home?” Jimin tried to remain calm, but the longer you took to answer, the angrier he got.

“What time is it?” You ask, squinting across the room at the clock on the wall. It read about 4:30am. “Oh, I’ve only been home for about... 2 hours?”

“Only 2 hours?!” Jimin was about to lose it. “Do you know how worried I was? I called you at least 5 times within those two hours and you didn’t answer a single one of my messages. I asked you to do something simple, text me when you got home so I know you’re safe; but you had me up all night worried sick, ready to trash the entire city looking for you just to find you drunk and knocked out on your damn couch!”

He was seething, you could practically see the fumes coming off of him as he ranted, eyes narrowed and hands motioning around him. In all honesty, you were only taking in about half of his words, your brain not being able to process it all at the moment, so you just stared blankly at him until he was finished, face red and breathing heavily.

“I’m sorry, I forgot.” Is all you can say. You neglect to tell him that you don’t even remember who took you home or when you passed out for that matter. Grabbing your phone from the floor, you see all of the messages and missed calls from him. Some seemed worried, some desperate, some irritated. You shut your eyes in an attempt to collect yourself and Jimin continues.

“You’re sorry? You forgot? (Y/n), this is serious. If something were to happen to you I don’t know what I would do. But you don’t even seem to care! I didn’t even want you to go out tonight, the least you could have done was let me know you were okay! God, I swear sometimes it’s like you’re a child, you don’t think about consequences. If you went missing I wouldn’t even know where to start looking because the last time I contacted you was at midnight and this is four and a half hours later. It’s almost morning! And why the hell did you think it was a good idea to get this drunk, do you know how dangerous it is to get drunk when you’re out alone, without someone you trust?”

“Jimin, stop. I was with my friends, I was fine.” You try to explain, but it only makes him angrier.

“How was I supposed to know that when you didn’t tell me?!” He raised his voice, so you raised yours.

“I’m a grown woman, I can handle myself! I don’t need a babysitter and I can drink however much I want. Stop acting like you’re my dad!” You shout, finally coordinating yourself enough to sit up on the couch. That was the last straw for Jimin and after a few more bitter exchanges with you, he stormed out, leaving you alone.

The thing that bothered him the most was that you were ignorant to how he felt and how terrified he was for you. It wasn’t about him being possessive over you or wanting to control you, it was about your safety, because if something did go wrong that night, he would blame himself for not protecting you. It wasn’t until a few days later, when you weren’t terribly hungover, that you realized this. You were reckless, this you knew, but you didn’t know how much your actions affected Jimin, someone who cared for you deeply.

So now it’s been a week and he still hasn’t spoken to you— not that you tried to speak to him after the incident either— and it doesn’t seem like that will change any time soon. His members noticed Jimin’s sour mood immediately, appalled when he locked himself in his room the entire day after, knowing how he hates being alone. They tried to talk to him but he sent them away and it took another day after that for him to start talking to them again. Every time your name was mentioned, he would roll his eyes, and whenever someone asked where you were he would grumble something about not knowing or caring and how you were probably doing something reckless. This concerned his friends and after a week of him moping around and snapping at others, they had enough.

“Hey (Y/n).” Yoongi’s voice resonated on the other side of your phone.

“Hey Yoongs, what’s up?” You ask, digging into the bag of chips in front of you.

“Not to get in your business or anything, but what’s going on with you and Jimin lately?” He asks cautiously, listening to you nearly choke on the chip you’re eating.

“What? Nothing.” That wasn’t a complete lie. There was literally nothing happening between you two.

“It’s just, I’ve noticed you’re ignoring each other. Well, we’ve all kind of noticed. And Jimin’s been in a really bad mood and he gets all sensitive when we bring up your name.” Yoongi waits for your response, listening to the breath you take on the other end.

“We had a fight.” You shake your head, cheeks heating up in embarrassment and you have no idea why. “I was drunk and in the wrong and Jimin was just being a good boyfriend and worrying about me, but I was... drunk and stupid.” You sigh.

“You didn’t cheat on him, did you?”

“Never! God, Yoongi, you should know me by now, I would never.” You defend passionately.

“Then this is fixable. Just talk to him and apologize, tell him he was right and that you’re sorry and fix your relationship like adults. I’m tired of seeing him act like this.” Min Yoongi was no relationship expert, but he did have a lot of common sense. You suppose the solution was clear to everyone on the outside of this, but you didn’t think so. Talking to Jimin wouldn’t be as simple as he made it seem because both of you were stubborn, but you knew things wouldn’t get better if you continued ignoring each other, so you mustered up your courage and decided to face him.

“Ugh, fine.” You sigh, putting down your chips. “Where is he?”

“At the gym. You know how he gets when he’s upset, he just exercises away all his frustrations and comes back looking like a body builder. He’s bulked up a lot this week, it’s kinda scary.” Yoongi half chuckles as you shuffle around to find your shoes.

“I don’t even know what to say to him.” You groan when you reach your front door.

“You’ll figure it out. I know he’ll probably forgive you to moment he sees your face.”

“But what if-“

“Gotta go (Y/n), good luck! Don’t go home until you’ve fixed this.” And with that he hangs up, leaving you to your own devices.

Whenever Jimin was stressed, he always found solace in physical activity. It helped take his mind off of things, distract him from whatever it was that bothered him in the first place, and today that’s exactly what he needed. Jimin was no longer upset with you about that night, he was completely over the situation and wanted nothing more than to go back to you and offer his forgiveness for your drunken impulsiveness, but that was not an option for him. It would be wrong to go to you first and reconcile your relationship when he did nothing wrong. You had to be the one to come to him, so he waited and trusted the fact that you would eventually come around, even if you haven’t spoken to him in a week.

Today he saw something funny happen while out at the studio and his first reaction was to text you about it so you could laugh with him, and he typed out an entire message before his better judgement stopped him from hitting send. Contacting you first would be forfeiting this imaginary game you were playing, making you the automatic victor, and he was not about to let that happen. So he headed to the gym to blow off some steam and keep his mind off of you.

Jimin spent hours exercising, benching the equivalent of your weight effortlessly while distracted by thoughts of you. He tried cardio, running on the treadmill endlessly to burn off the tinge of guilt he felt for yelling at you like that, wondering if maybe he was actually the one in the wrong and not you, then turning up the speed to disperse those thoughts because, of course not. He moved on to the pull up bar at the back, lifting himself over and over and ignoring the burn after many reps, too lost in thought about what you might be doing right now, if you were having the same dilemma as he was. Since you started dating, you’ve never been away from him this long voluntarily, only when he was forced to leave for tour or to do promotions all over the country. But even then you were in constant contact with him, always telling him how you were and making sure he was taking care of himself. Jimin didn’t like this lonely feeling overtaking him in your absence, so he worked harder to fill the void.

Stepping into the deserted gym, you contemplated what you would say when you saw him. Would he even want to see you? Of course he would, you knew Jimin couldn’t stand being away from you for long, but you were still wracked with nerves. You explore the empty building cautiously, listening for any music or clashing of weights, but you heard nothing. Weaving through the assortment of machines and racks, you almost give up when you come up empty handed, but something tells you to check in the back and soon you see a movement in the corner.

Jimin is at the very back of the gym using the pull up bar, his shirt discarded on a nearby bench and earbuds stuffed into his ears. Sweat drips down his back in streams, defining his muscles as they flex with effort to pull his weight up and down, and the motion has you mesmerized, everything you wanted to say flying out the window as you stare at the work of art before you. It’s only then that you realize just how sexually frustrated you’ve been this entire week. Jimin catches sight of your figure in the mirrors lining the wall in front of him, your parted lips, wide eyes, and tinted cheeks amusing him. He drops down from the bar and turns, pulling out an earbud as he smirks at you.

“Like what you see?” His cocky remark breaks your trance and you close your mouth, shifting nervously to your other foot. You can’t think of a reply fast enough, so he walks away from you, grabbing his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face. “Did you need something?”

“Jimin- I, uh,” You fumble, trying your best to ignore your choking pride. “S-sorry.” The word slips from you slowly, almost sounding insincere, and Jimin raises his eyebrows in amusement at his stubborn girlfriend.

“For what?” He wasn’t going to let you go that easy. He didn’t want you to know that he had already forgiven you the moment he saw your face, just like Yoongi predicted. You take a breath as he approaches, stopping to stand right in front of you.

“I’m sorry for not listening to you and for yelling when all you were trying to do was be a good boyfriend and take care of me.” You give him your most innocent puppy look and he barely bats an eyelash. “That was wrong of me,” You continue. “From now on I’ll try not to be so inconsiderate to how you feel.”

When Jimin doesn’t say anything, you flounder a bit, unsure of what exactly he was looking for. He stares at you with an unreadable expression before shrugging and walking toward the locker rooms.

“Okay.” He says simply as he breezes past you, grinning when he hears your rushed footsteps following closely behind him.

“Where are you going?” You ask, frustrated, but all he does is pull his phone out of his pocket and hand it to you along with his attached earbuds.

“Hold this, I’m gonna go shower.” And with that he disappears into the male locker room. You stand there with a dropped jaw, knowing how he gets when he has power over you, and you purse your lips, huffing and following after him.

It takes him by surprise when you come up behind him just as he enters the water, he didn’t expect that you would have the guts to come in, but seeing that no one was there, there was no reason for you not to. You pull back his curtain as he washes himself, unbothered by your presence, giving you the same incredulous look you were giving him.

“What?” He asks.

“Do you accept my apology?” You bite your lip as you await his answer, watching him look you up and down.

“I guess...” He says finally, wanting to make you sweat a little. “But I might need a little more convincing.” The look in his eyes is darker than before and it makes you heat up inside.

“How can I make it up to you?” You ask, eyes trailing his body now as well as he stands there naked before you, rinsing off in the streams of warm water.

“Why don’t you show me how sorry you really are.” Jimin suggests, stepping deeper into the shower to make room for you. You hesitate only for a second before stripping out of your clothes. Putting each layer in a pile on the long bench splitting the aisle, sitting his phone on top of them. Once naked, you step into the small space in front of him, following his tongue with your eyes as it swipes along his plump bottom lip. You press yourself close to him, shutting the curtain behind yourself and resting your hands on his hard chest, pushing him until his back hits the wall.

“Baby, I missed you so much.” You coo, looking into his eyes and running your fingertips down his front, stopping at his V line. He bites his lip when you lean forward to kiss and suck at his neck, careful not to mark him too much. “I should have listened to you, you were just trying to protect me.” You mumble into his skin. “You always know what’s best for me, how to make me feel safe, loved... how to make me feel good.”

He shutters when your hands slip lower to grip his hardening length to give him a languid pump. A grunt leaves him when you squeeze, lips ghosting his ear before you take the lobe between your teeth and nibble, just like he likes it.

“I felt bad after our fight. I don’t like when you’re upset with me and I’m sorry for making you worry like that. So please forgive me, Jimin, it was so hard for me to be away from you for so long.” You practically moan, giving him another jerk.

“On your knees.” He orders sharply. Jimin’s hands fly to your waist as he begins pressing you down, watching with lidded eyes as you sink until you’re eye level with his dick. When you look up at him with innocent eyes, he grabs himself at the base and lifts his tip to your mouth, threading his fingers tightly in your hair with the other hand. “Suck.”

On command, you open your mouth and take the head of his cock between your lips, using your tongue to tease the slit and swirl around it a few times. Jimin inhales when you take him a little deeper, caressing the underside of his shaft with your wet muscle and sucking hard. You would never admit it, but you love blowing him almost as much as he loves fucking you. You love the feeling of him slowly engorging in your mouth until he’s rock solid, his weight heavy on your jaw. The soft skin feels good on your lips as you continue your work, pulling back and feeling it pull up with your lips to add more friction over the sensitive ridge at the underside of his tip.

Jimin’s fingers twist in your locks when you take a deep breath and drop all the way down on him, forcing yourself forward until he hits the back of your throat and your nose presses into his lower abdomen. A broken moan resounds from him and echos along the empty walls of the locker room making you squeeze your thighs together because— fuck, he sounds sexy like this. You try to pull back from your position, laving your tongue up the thick vein running up the underside of his cock, but once you get about halfway, Jimin pushes you back down roughly, making you gag harshly around him out of surprise.

“Holy fuck, (Y/n),” He gasps, looking down at you from above and watching as tears gather at the corner of your eyes from lack of oxygen. He pulls you away by the roots of your hair and you yank your head back, breathing heavily but still stroking his length with a closed fist. Jimin waits for you to look back up at him before smirking, biting his lip at how sexy you look on your knees in front of him. “Mm, you’re so hot, baby. You can be a good girl and take me like that one more time, can’t you?” It was less of a question and more of a warning on his part, but you nod anyway, opening your mouth again and bracing yourself.

As soon as you’re ready, he pushes your head forward until he’s down your throat again, but this time you’re more prepared and try not to gag. He holds you there for a few seconds, throwing his head back in ecstasy and shutting his eyes tight to focus in on the feeling. Jimin can’t even begin to describe how good you feel around him. Water runs down his face, the shower long forgotten, but he can only feel how your throat softly pulses around his tip with the effort of fighting back your reflexes. And when you swirl your tongue under him, a moan escapes involuntarily from him that startles you both with its volume.

His grip loosens on your scalp and you remove yourself from his length, letting his tip stay in your mouth as you catch your breath. Jimin smiles at you when you meet his gaze, using his free hand to move stray hairs from your eyes gently.

“Good girl.” He murmurs, but his breath hitches again as you suckle on him, focusing your attention on his frenulum. You can feel his precum coating your tongue and you suck, causing more to gush out and giving you a taste of him. The salty liquid makes you moan around him, arousing you more than before, and it takes everything in you not to reach down and rub yourself in front of him. You bob your head along him when you feel his dick start to throb, setting a fast speed from the start that makes him groan out loud. “Ah, you’re mouth is so good. You suck my cock so well— just like that, baby.”

Jimin pants heavily above you, thrusting his hips gently to match the pace of your mouth and you look up at him to see the look on his face. He looks like he’s in absolute heaven as his stomach muscles flex with effort, defined muscles working hard with every labored breath he takes. You reach up and trail your nails down the ridges and Jimin groans, pushing his hips a little harder into your mouth to reach deeper greedily. Your hand drops all the way until you cup his balls lightly, rolling the pliant skin in your palm as you blow him vigorously.

“Oh shit, ‘m gonna cum.” Jimin warns, breathless and desperate, sweat getting washed away by the water. You hum and lick a stripe down his length to take his testicles into your warm mouth and as soon as you give them a gentle tug, his breath hitches and he explodes in your hand. You feel his cock twitch as spurts of his cum shoot past you and onto the shower floor behind you, your hand still pumping him through the intense high. With one long moan of your name, Jimin relaxes, leaning against the wall for support while you give kitten licks to his tip, wanting to taste the remnants of his messy release.

You pull back once he’s clean, looking up at him once more before he drops his hand from you hair in favor of pulling you up by the face to kiss you eagerly. You moan from the heat of it, the first kiss you’ve shared in a week, and you missed this so much. Finally breaking apart, Jimin rests his forehead on yours as you catch your breath, smiling when you open your eyes.

“I forgive you now.” He sighs, pushing off of the wall to turn off the water.

“You better, I just gave you the best blow job of your life.” You smirk, watching as he licks his full lips.

“If this is the reward I get, maybe we should argue more.” Jimin shrugs, laughing when you hit his chest. “But if you ever scare me like that again, be ready for a real punishment.”

Although that was supposed to be taken as a threat, you could stop the heat from rushing to your core at the thought of Jimin punishing you “for real”. He didn’t even fuck your throat this time, so you assumed this wasn’t a serious punishment, but you were kind of excited to see what he would do to you if you actually made him angry. It was tempting, but you also hated when he was mad at you.

“Oooh, scary. Please don’t hurt me Big Bad Wolf.” You tease, Jimin’s hand coming down on your ass before you can even react. The noise echos off the tiled walls.

“Watch it.” He growls, but he can’t conceal the smile on his cheeks with you back in his arms.

#drabble game #Jimin smut #btssmutclub

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blurrynights95 · 5 years

Text

1: Name: Blaaair

2: Age: 23

3: 3 Fears: Myself, spiders and nicolas cage

4: 3 things I love: My boyfriend, my family and Demi Lovato

5: 4 turns on: My bf, my bf, my bf and martha stewart

6: 4 turns off: Unrelated

7: My best friend: I have several.

8: Sexual orientation: Demisexual

9: My best first date: Meeting my love 2.1 years ago

10: How tall am I: Tall

11: What do I miss: My kokum

12: What time were I born: The time i was born at, i swear!

13: Favorite color: All shades of blue.

14: Do I have a crush: Martha Stewart

15: Favorite quote: If you think on it, you’ll think yourself out of it!

16: Favorite place: My mind at night.

17: Favorite food: Lasagna

18: Do I use sarcasm: Naaaaaaawwwwwww.

19: What am I listening to right now: An intriguing movie.

20: First thing I notice in new person: Their vibe.

21: Shoe size: Too big.

22: Eye color: Marvelous brown.

23: Hair color: Hobo mixture of browns.

24: Favorite style of clothing: Black clothing.

25: Ever done a prank call? Many times.

27: Meaning behind my URL: Absolutely meaningless.

28: Favorite movie: That one where they do the sex.

29: Favorite song: Any song by Demi Lovato

30: Favorite band: Hair bands.

31: How I feel right now: Morbidly awake.

32: Someone I love: My critter.

33: My current relationship status: Abducted.

34: My relationship with my parents: My mom is amazing & father who?

35: Favorite holiday: Any day of the week.

36: Tattoos and piercing i have: Several ear piercings and one hand tat.

37: Tattoos and piercing i want: Decide when i get them.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: Boyfriend resparked my love.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nope.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Rarely.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? I don’t have a cellular.

42: When did I last hold hands? 20 mins ago

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? A bitch is never ready

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no

45: Where am I right now? Out of my mind.

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? The lord.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Not since i was 17

49: Am I excited for anything? Sexual interactions with my love.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Only myself.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Only when im awake

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? 5 mins ago

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Find out on nightly news.

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Myself.

55: What is something I disliked about today? Myself.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Demi Lovato & Martha Stewart

57: What do I think about most? How im gonna live past 25

58: What’s my strangest talent? Existing without being noticed.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Lighters randomly exploding.

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Meh, either or.

61: What was the last lie I told? That i want to live.

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? neither.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Both, fully.

64: Do I believe in magic? Absolutely.

65: Do I believe in luck? Absolutely maybe.

66: What’s the weather like right now? Colder than celery.

67: What was the last book I’ve read? Inspirational something.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Nope.

69: Do I have any nicknames? Bear, Chi-mukwa, why are you here?.

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? Got stabbed.

71: Do I spend money or save it? Depends.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? No.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? Penis.

74: Favorite animal? All of them.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Probably on crack. Jk asleep.

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Last nameless.

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Any demi song

78: How can you win my heart? Make me truly feel why you’re interested in me.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? I’ll be back

80: What is my favorite word? murder

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: All those i follow.

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Tiddy

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Yes

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Strong telepathic abilities which give me telekinesis as well.

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? What is your true fear?

86: What is my current desktop picture? Colorful stuffs.

87: Had sex? Twice.

88: Bought condoms? Nope.

89: Gotten pregnant? I wish with all my heart but im Trans.

90: Failed a class? Yes.

91: Kissed a boy? Yes.

92: Kissed a girl? Yes.

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yes.

94: Had job? Several

95: Left the house without my wallet? Never carried one.

96: Bullied someone on the internet? Yes, though i wish i hadn’t.

97: Had sex in public? Nope.

98: Played on a sports team? Yes, several.

99: Smoked weed? Too much.

100: Did drugs? Too much.

101: Smoked cigarettes? Too much.

102: Drank alcohol? Not enough.

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Nope.

104: Been overweight? My whole life.

105: Been underweight? My late teens to present.

106: Been to a wedding? yes.

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Lawd knows.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Regretful, i am.

109: Been outside my home country? No.

110: Gotten my heart broken? Meh, slightly.

111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes.

112: Broken a bone? Nope.

113: Cut myself? Depression is a bitch.

114: Been to prom? Nope.

115: Been in airplane? Nope.

116: Fly by helicopter? Nope.

117: What concerts have I been to? None.

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Absolutely.

119: Learned another language? Some french.

120: Wore make up? A bitch can clean up :P

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Nope.

122: Had oral sex? Yes.

123: Dyed my hair? My poor hair lmao

124: Voted in a presidential election? Nope.

125: Rode in an ambulance? Yes.

126: Had a surgery? Nope.

127: Met someone famous? Yes.

128: Stalked someone on a social network? lmao shh

129: Peed outside? Who hasn’t?

130: Been fishing? Yes.

131: Helped with charity? Yes, several times.

132: Been rejected by a crush? Nope.

133: Broken a mirror? Threw it at a nun who gave me the finger.

134: What do I want for birthday? His time, nothing more.

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ultjunsus · 5 years

Text

Just ranting

Sometimes I really feel like even though I was diagnosed with selective mutism, that I don’t or more that I don’t anymore? Maybe it’s the fact that a lot of people now a days will say someones faking for attention or something along those lines. Even though I know I was diagnosed by a professional my mind tells me that I’m just faking it.

My life living with SM has been really rough. I was never really properly treated, I believe I was just given medication and went to occasional sessions where they didn’t work with me or even really address me. School was a roller coaster where I was fine with my friends but with anyone else it was hell, especially presenting. But I didn’t have a system set up for me and was forced to present even if I was on the verge of tears. And it only got worse as I went into middle and high school. I guess thankfully(?) by the time I went into high school I learned that no one understood why I’d stutter or sometimes have an actual breakdown about presenting or whatever in front of the class and my mom never talked to the school to set up any sort of system for me guess cause she thought I got through fine without it every other year. So I just “got over it” did what I had to and if the breakdown hit after it did. Mentally high school was the roughest part of my life. There were so many days I didn’t even have the energy to get out of bed. I’d have a C in one class and my father would lose his mind about it. And my mom who told me I could always talk to her would yell at me when I tried to tell her I needed a day to stay home due to bad mental health.

I got more comfortable in some classes but even those classes when I had to do certain things it would trigger and I’d shut down and no one would understand. Choir was a big example. I was really comfortable in there with my friends and my teacher but when it came around time for solos or anything where the class or my teacher had to hear me by myself I’d feel myself start to shut down. But I couldn’t explain it to them and I doubt it’d do me much good to try to. So i’d just somehow suffer through whatever it was and nearly breakdown if not completely breakdown after. It was so mentally, emotionally, and physically taxing.

I dunno how everyone else’s feels but I not only feel my ability to speak just stop I also tend to space out entirely and not register much. I get lost in my own head, playing all bad outcomes over and over in my head. I pick at something or fidget with something, or I’ve even rubbed a small portion of my skin raw without realizing it. My breathing becomes short and labored as I literally feel my chest and throat tighten. Sometimes I’ll even end up crying depending on how bad it gets. Maybe its because my untreated SM has stemmed into social and general anxiety as well as depression but its such a horrible experience.

I’m now 21 and I’ve had 1 job and it was possibly the worst experience of my life. The job pushed me to my lowest and I’ve been stuck here since. My breakdowns have been happening more often than I’d like to admit. There was a point where i’d come home and breakdown nearly every day after work. I dreaded going but I couldn’t bring myself to quit. Then Harvey hit and our store flooded and we were expected to go to nearby stores while they remodeled but it took me so long to get at least mostly comfortable with everyone in our salon I couldn’t bring myself to go through all that again with new people it took a lot out of me to do it the first time. That on top of how bad my mental state was because of the job I just couldn’t. So I took that opportunity to quit. I haven’t been employed since but that’s because my mom kept telling me not to because of her and my dad’s clashing work schedules and my lack of license and car so I wouldn’t have a reliable ride to and from. So we put it off.

I quit back in Aug of 2017 and the entire time I’ve been unemployed I’ve felt like garbage for not working but every time i brought it up my mom just brushed it off. Yes I could’ve just gotten a job but I wouldn’t have a ride without her and I didn’t want to burden her with that. Even though my mom brushed it off my dad always brought it up and made me feel like shit about it. My dad never tried to understand what I was going through and was often hypocritical about a lot of things. When i’d sleep for too long because I was depressed he’d yell at me but he could sleep all day if he wanted. In Oct a lot of stuff happened and my parents have ended up separating. My mom doesn’t make enough to cover bills and groceries. My sister and her family are staying with her us for the time being as well which is a whole nother situation for my anxiety. But due to this my mom applied to for food stamps but because I’m an adult who isn’t working they wanted my psychiatrist (who I haven’t seen since high school because I no longer have insurance) to fill out a form saying i couldn’t work or they wanted me to apply to work force for them to help me get a job. Mind you for the last 3 years I’ve wanted nothing more than to go back to my psychiatrist and get help, especially with how bad my depression is. But I don’t have insurance and because of how shitty our system is I can’t get any so that wasn’t an option. So I was stuck with workforce.

When we went the first time I had forgotten my wallet with my SS and ID which they said I wouldn’t need so we went in to apply or whatever only to find out that I did need it. And in that short not even 5 mins my anxiety spiked so high that it took me 30 mins in the car to calm down. I felt like everyone’s eyes were on me and I was shaking so bad. We went back the next day and I broke down merely filling out the form because someone continued to come over and check on us. It was hard to breathe and I even cried. I hate crying in public I try my best to hold out til I’m at least away from people but I couldn’t. A month prior to all of this I had made plans with my BF to come down for the holidays until after the New year to see him and meet his mom who had come back from Germany and invited me. But when we got the letter that I had to go into the workforce and do stuff I only had like 2 days to do so. We went in the last day and the lady I was sat with (by myself btw) made it very apparent. When I told her the situation she proceeded to be like “todays the last day and you have to come in tomorrow to work with us. What do you want me to do?” in a very condescending tone, talking to me like I’m an idiot. At this point I’m already internally freaking out and I’m trying not to cry again and I start stuttering out an IDK when she cuts me off and calls her supervisor and gets an answer. After that she was oh so sweet to me but before she was very snarky and made me feel like a dumb child. It was back to back questions of “have you worked? How long? Why did you quit?” As if I chose to be unemployed this long without a good reason.

She sent me off and I started walking to my mom and she told me I nearly passed out doing so before I ran outside to just broke down, collapsing on the side walk. I couldn’t enjoy my 3 weeks away from home because all I could think about was coming back and doing that all over again. I could only think about coming back and being talked to like an incompetent child. Being talked to like some lazy idiot who hasn’t worked for the past 2 years out of sheer laziness. I’ve had literal consistent daily breakdowns over this in the past week. I have literally had trouble sleeping because of this. I come home and I try talking to my mom about it because i have to go back before the 9th and she either brushes me off or tells me “Ik you’re uncomfortable” as if me having 3 breakdowns in the same day and nearly passing out was just uncomfortable. Or she’d tell me “idk what you want me to do. I didn’t ask for things to be like this” as if I was saying I was blaming her for this as if I didn’t know what our situation was right now. My mother who always told me I could always go to her about anything won’t listen to me or downplays my anxiety when its literally made the last 3 weeks living hell. I just I don’t understand.

Idk what this post became tbh I’m a mess.

#anxiety #depression #selective mutism #actuallymute

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electroma89 · 6 years

Note

binch, quiero todas esas preguntas del ask owo

Me mataste con lo del binch xD

You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

“hey sexy gurl”

What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

a 5 years relationship

If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

of course, he’s against drugs, so something very serious is going on if he starts doing drugs

Is your last name longer than six letters?

G-O-N-Z-Á-L-E-Z (8 letters)

Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober

Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

a long time ago, yes

What does your last received text say?

“puta oh” (something like “oh fuck”)

How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

i haven’t been counting, but in 5 years it must be a lot

Where was your last kiss at?

the street

When is the last time you saw your sister?

i don’t have siblings

What do you drink in the morning?

a glass of water first thing in the morning, then chocolate milk or tea with milk at breakfast

Where did you sleep last night?

in the pines, in the pines… ok no, in my bed

Do you think relationships are hard?

like relationships in general? no

If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

yeah, but nothing major, there hasn’t been much exciment this year (which is ok considering 2017 and 2016 were fucking hell, but I’m starting to get bored)

You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

not at all, do not disturb

Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

cloudy but not rainy, sunny but not too sunny

Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

no D:

Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

sweatpants

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

that’s the plan, i don’t know what’s gonna happen tomorrow, but my intentions are going on with this relationship

Does anyone like you?

i mean i hope so, or this past 5 years would have been really akward

Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

almost

Is the last person you kissed gay?

well he isn’t straight that’s for sure

Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

absolutely, i think everyone know someone like that

Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

no, i don’t like them

In the past week have you cried?

no, but i’ve been pretty stressed about life and existencial crisis

What breed was the last dog you saw?

a mix between poodle and maltese (my baby grandpa)

Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

out, of course, what kind of question is this

Have you ever kissed a football player?

no, not my type

Do you think you’re old?

in days like this, when everything fucking hurts, yeah, but most days i think i’m young, running out of time but still young

Do you like text messaging?

yup, better than phone calls *cringes*

What type of day are you having?

lame lazy day, that kind of day when you go “meh”

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

yup, pretty seriously

Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

after 5 months of cold weather i’m kinda desperate for some warm (not hot tho)

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

“opposite sex” huehuheuhue (intersex laugh in the distance), there’s a lot of people who mean the world to me

Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

relationship

Are you a simple or complicated person?

i think we’re all pretty complicated

What song are you listening to?

none, i’m watching a movie, the last song i listened was “stargazer” by rainbow

When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

yes, if i don’t mean it i don’t say it

Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

i think you fit this description, fam

What made you start liking the person you like now?

i could be myself around him, relaxed and authentical

When did you last receive a text message?

like 10 min ago? 15?

What is wrong with you right now?

oh BOY, i don’t wanna go into details here, but there’re quite a few things that could be better right now

How well do you know the last female you texted?

mmm not that much, i watched her videos and we talk a bit through DM, she seems nice

Does anyone disgust you?

pfff, racists, bigots, xenophobes, aphoraphobes (is that a word in english? it means you hate poor people), that kind of “people”

Would you date someone right now if they asked?

if my bf ask me, then yes

Are you in a good mood right now?

very neutral i must say

Who was the last person you talked to in person?

besides my family? i think it was my bf

What color shirt are you wearing?

white shirt under a black and white pullover

Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

yeah, everyday pretty much

Anyone you’re giving up on?

kinda

Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

nah

Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

i always can, it’s hard and it sucks but if it’s necessary i do it

Do you like rain?

if i’m indoors then yes

Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

no, i also drink

Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

a few times

Do you like to cuddle?

depends on my mood, but mostly yes

Are you shy?

at first

Do you get along with girls?

yes

Have you dated the person you texted last?

we still are

What do you carry with you at all times?

my phone, my glasses (on my face)

If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

bring it on

Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

i’ve been 5 years doing this, fam

Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

for the last time, YES

The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

forehead and cheeks and i love it

Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

idk how to answer this, i went to a kawaii fair and i was overwhelmed, i bought a skull cup and it’s cute af

How old are the last three people you kissed?

they’re all my age, older by a few months

Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

pay, but my mom do my nails and i do her skincare routine

Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

do i have to choose? zebra print is more bearable then

Do you have any stickers on your car?

Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

idk who luke byran is, so i pick lil wayne

Blackberry, Android, or iPhone?

android, my apps are always compatible with my phone, and they have good cameras too you cowards

When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

oh jesus, a long time ago, now i only eat homemade pizza

Do you like diet soda?

i don’t like soda, period (i only drink soda when i eat fast food, but i always drink like half of a cup, or i ask if they have juice)

What color are the walls in your room?

a hideous light blue i hate with a passion (i’m changing it next month thank god)

Are you 16 or older?

god this ask list are so mean, i’m 28 ok? TWENTY EIGHT *sobs*

Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

no, but my cousin does, says is pretty good

Do you have a job?

i do a few things here and there, but i need something stable like RIGHT NOW, economy is fucked up as shit in my country tho, so things are like a bit HUGELY hard

What are your initials?

F C G J

Did you ever have braces?

i have braces RIGHT NOW

Are you from the south?

yes, i’m from the south… SOUTH AMERICA BITCHES!

What does your last status on facebook say?

i don’t use facebook lol

Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

no, i really hope he’s doing ok

Are you closer to your mom or your dad?

mom

Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?

gymnastics when a was a little kid

What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?

jesus, was it the fifth wave? i don’t remember, oh but i’m gonna see bohemian rhapsody in november and I CAN’T WAIT FAM

Do you smoke?

no, and i’ve never tried

Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

flip flops of course, i don’t like pain

Is your phone touch screen?

yes

Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

straight

Have you ever snuck out of your house?

Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

i prefer the sea, but lakes and pools are cool too

Have you ever made out in a car?

yes

…Had sex in a car?

Are you single or in a relationship?

JESUS ISN’T IT CLEAR? I’M SINGLE!… i mean IN A RELATIONSHIP!

What were you doing last night at midnight?

falling asleep

When’s the last time you saw fireworks?

new year’s eve

Do you like the camera on your phone?

fuck yes, i love the pics i take

Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

yeah, when i was a teen

Have you ever passed out from drinking?

just once, is not nice, so i avoid reaching that point

Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

i said i don’t use facebook, but no, i wouldn’t be, that’s ridiculous

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?

Name your favorite Kesha song:

i don’t know any, i think i’ve heard “praying”?

Do you have any tan lines right now?

with this weather? lmao, my skin hasn’t seen sunlight in like 5 months

Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

i wouldn’t wear cowboy boots, period

This was super fun, fam. Ahora te toca.

#ask #malunedyne

2 notes · View notes

henry-hart · 6 years

Text

Mo’ Danger, Mo’ Problems s1 ep2

this one is long, just saying. lolol I just really loved it and had a lot to say :))))))

“OK HEN’S VOICE IS DIFFERENT IN THIS EP asjlksjk guess there was time btw this one and the pilot

he’s still incredibly adorable tho

“He’s gotta fix that elevator.” ...and then he never did lolol

OKAY so 13 yr old Henry found a way across town at almost 12 at night???? NO MY SON. THAT IS DANGEROUS (also does Swellview have a bus system??? did he walk??? I need to know.)

“’Put this watch on your wrist.’ Sure. What else would I put it on???” .....

hologram Ray pretending that Hen poked his eye out askjsl

“I’m gonna contact you on this watch now.” “What do I do with the old one?” “Toss it up in the air.” “.....Why?” “It’s about to self-destruct.” “Dahhh!” *tosses watch but it doesn’t do anything* “Hmm. That’s weird It’s supposed to--” BAM lololol

Do you think they chose Puerto Rico history for Hen’s test subject bc Jace is Puerto Rican??? I mean, it’s a lil specific to be coincidence (i hope they did)

“Ah, Puerto Rico. Land of....” “Puerto Ricans???” “Right.” alakjsklj

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS EP. THIS ONE IS SO FUNNY!!!! (I’m remembering what happens later in the ep lol)

antique bottle shop named “Glass from the Past” gotta love the witty names

“Let’s blow some bubbles and fight some crime.” so I see we aren’t into lame puns yet lolol

the “awwww my boot!” line is in this ep “Up the boot! Ow!” “HA!”

“Give me that pretty lavender bottle...because it matches my motorcycle helmet.” asjdlkj you can always count on hd bad guys to be goofy “You better bubble wrap that, chump! That ain’t no good to me busted.”

soooooo Ray walks in through the front door of the shop while Hen just....kind of.....walks in from...the side??? Like, Jace literally just entered from the side of the stage/set. wowowow lol

“Kid Danger.” “Yeah.” he looks so smug ajsklsjksjlk like, “that’s right. you know who i am.”

Ray telling the robber to try hitting him again lolol “Try to keep your arm straight.”

*robber hits him* “Strike three.” Hen pops in “That was only two...” “Okay, don’t correct me in front of the criminals.”

RAY YOU JUST THREW THE ROBBER INTO THAT MAN’S GLASS. WUT R U DOING???

“You really want to fight us?” looks at KD “Can I just fight the kid?” Hen’s all “???” lolol

“No you can’t just fight the--” “Sure he can! Come on, tough guy.” “Ok.” *puts his helmet over Hen’s head*

poor Hen is just spinning around

golf clubs in a store that sells glass. that’s gonna end well.

“KD! Catch this golf club!” *hits Hen in the head* aksjlsjsk

CM AND KD YOU ARE NOT HELPING!!!! YOU ARE BREAKING ALL THAT POOR MAN’S GLASS!!!!

“CM! Where are you?” “Follow the sound of my voice!” *a game of Marco/Polo w/ A LOT OF GLASS BREAKING ensues*

“Would you superheroes just leave!!!!” I feel for you, man.

Ray had to stop a wild, golf club swinging Henry lolol

“Where is he??? Did I get him???” he asks, standing amidst all the glass he broke while RAY got the bad guy

“Yeah, you got him.”

“My whole store is destroyed!” “No need to thank us.” “Thank you?” “You’re welcome.” Ray y r u lik dis

Hen’s hair is all wild from the helmet ajskjlskj

“Let’s go, KD.” “NO!!! Nobody leaves until you boys clean up all of this broken glass.”

MY POOR BB HAS TO BE UP AT 7 FOR SCHOOL. RAY YOU DID NOT NEED TO CALL HIM TO HELP YOU. YOU ENDED UP GETTING THE BAD GUY ALL BY YOURSELF. HENRY JUST BROKE MORE GLASS. LET MY SON GET HIS SLEEP!!!!

“This will only take us like....5 hrs. I’ll get u a broom!” *Hen just sinks to the floor* :(((((

Ms. Shapen just gave Hen a wet willy. aksjlksj The ever classy Sherona Shapen, ladies and gents.

CHARLOTTE IS SO TINY. EVEN THE KIDS IN THE BACK OF THE CLASS ARE SO TINY. THEY’RE. ALL. SO. TINY.

“This is what happens when you stay up all night on Twitflash and Twittlegram.” alksjskjls

poor Hen slept through his whole test (much like in my fic....hee hee)

J....y wud u want....a....wet willy???? (I love Ms. Shapen’s answering face alksjlskj)

Hen just drops back down on his desk. my son :((((

THE FIRST EVER TITLE SEQUENCE!!!!!! (last ep just had the title of the show. this one has the whole “It all just kind of happened” shebang)

“Now I protect the good citizens of Swellview.” Do you Ray? Do you?? (peep him charging ppl for that “protection” in a few years)

Hen just pouring an ENTIRE POT OF COFFEE into, as Char calls it, “a comedically large cup.” askdksjslk I fell you. I don’t drink coffee, but i. feel. you.

never get tired of these whack shows they watch on here. Natural surgery???? Surgery w/ no anesthesia??? what is that???? lolol

“You’re 13. You can’t be drinking this much coffee!!!!” “But I need it!”

concerned friends ftw

Jasp asking Hen about puberty......

“I haven’t had any dreams bc I’m not getting any sleep.” my bb...:(((

“I always have the same dream. It starts with me getting a horse for my bday. Then Jasp shows up. Then the horse kicks Jasp in the face.” “But I end up being okay, right?” “No.” her face kills me lolol

SIREN HART IS BACK ON MY SCREEN AGAIN. IT IS A BLESSED DAY.

“We’re home! Hen come help me please.” “HENRY, COME HELP YOUR MOTHER!!!” gotta love that s1 Piper

“What what what???” that’s exactly how I respond too hen alksjslkj

HEN MAKING DINNER. :’)))) I. MISS. THESE. DAYS. THE. HART. FAM. IS. MY. FAVE. AND. THEY’RE. NEVER. TOGETHER. ANYMORE. *cries*

how does one make chili balls????

“Make them spicy this time.” I love Piper so much gah

“Seriously? I’m like so busy. I don’t have time.” Ya’ll....the way he said this. he sounds so stressed.....my bb....I’m crying.

remember the days when Piper used to be anti-having Jasp in the house?? lolol I mean, she probs still is now, but she used to be a lot more vocal about it. “Aw man, Jasper’s here???” “Piper be nice.” “But Jasper’s always here. It’s NOT okay!!!”

“I’m going to the bathroom.” “Oh no, mom. Jasper’s going to use our bathroom.” ajskjslj

Piper telling on everyone as soon as her dad gets home akjslksj classic

their dad was a lot more....tolerable earlier on. I don’t mean he’s a bad character or anything. It’s just, he’s usually played for laughs now instead of being a parent. We get to see him actually parenting Hen in this ep, and it’s so nice.

“Jasper’s using our bathroom.” “Oh jeez.” Like father like daughter kajslkj (also looks like Hen got his phrase from his dad. cute!)

“and Henry said he’s not gonna make dinner.” “What??? It’s his night!” “I’M GONNA MAKE DINNER!” leave my son alone, Jake (he’s my son. not yours.)

YAS. JAKE SITTING DOWN WITH HENRY TO GIVE HIM A NICE PARENT TALK ABOUT MS. SHAPEN CALLING HIM ABOUT HENRY’S FAILED TEST. YAS. YAS. YAS. I LOVE ME SOME HEALTHY FAMILIAL CONTENT!!!!!

“She called you at work?!?.....Ah, that’s so rude of her. God.” alksjslk nice save hen

“Do you realize how important Puerto Rican history is???” aksjlkjs I really thing they’re doing this bc of Jace. Like, I really do.

Hen apologizing for letting his dad down :’))))

JAKE. HART. BEING. CONCERNED. FOR. HIS. SON. YASSSSS. He sees that maybe having a job is causing Hen’s grades to slip THIS is how you parent. (wish i had me a dad like that...)

you don’t get your 12 yr old daughter to drive u home from mouth surgery.....looking at you s4

“I can’t quit! My job’s a really big deal.” *puts hand on his dad’s leg* “It’s a junk shop. *moves Hen’s hand* You sweep the floors.” ajskjskjskl if only you knew

Hen’s like “I’m gonna go upstairs and study right now!” he takes off and his dad grabs him at the last second and makes him do this spin and akjsljs I just thought that was funny

“You study after you make the chili balls. And make them spicy this time.” He and Piper share this look lolol they’re so similar. it’s crazy

Hen yawning as he serves dinner :(((( he doesn’t even eat. he’s going without food AND sleep. MY SON NO!!!!

“I posted a pic, and now it has 45 comments. So now i have to comment on the comments!” “I’m about to comment on you.” asklkjskl (too tru tho Pipes)

RAYMOND. STOP FUSSING AT MY SON. HE IS TRYING HIS HARDEST. HE CAN ONLY DO SO MANY THINGS AT ONCE.

“Why aren’t you on your way over here???” “Because. I got in trouble for sleeping in class....and i had to make chili balls.” “Chili...balls?” “It was ‘my night’.” lolol I love the way Hen says that. so snarky

Hen stretching over his bed like “I’m just gonna....” slaps himself in the face to keep up “Maybe I can just....I’m just gonna lie down. 5 minutes tops. just 5 min” before he just passes out is SUCH a mood.

Okay, Ray coming in thru hen’s window all angry in covered in sewage is HILARIOUS

like, I love this little “I’m gonna kill him” angry dance thing he does aksjlkjs

oh my god he’s waving his smell in Hen’s direction asjksjsl

“Awww what’s that smell???” “I’m that smell!”

“Well, Ray, I guess I fell asleep.” “WeLl I gUeSs I fElL aSlEeP!!!” Ray u sound like scooby-doo aksjskj

“You know what’s down in the Swellview sewer???” “....poop.” “POOP!”

omg I forgot about Pipes being suspicious of the voices in Hen’s room

“Who are u talking to in here???” “Nobody.” “MOM!!!!!” “Aw jeez.” using his dad’s phrase :)))))

Hen blaming the smell on piper aksjlslkj

“It’s Piper.” “What???” “She hasn’t had a bath in a week.” “That’s a lie!”

“You disappointed me tonight.” “I’m disappointing everybody. People should just call me ‘Kid Disappointment’.” Hen....:((( (but the way he said the last part was really funny akjdlskj)

WHAAAATTT???? RAY WANTS HEN TO TALK TO HIM TO HELP FIGURE OUT A SOLUTIONG TO A PROBLEM???? YOU MEAN HE’S NOT BEING UNJUSTIFIABLY PARANOID OR RIDICULOUS??? HE’S NOT JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS??? HE’S NOT BREAKING THE LAW OR HARMING OTHERS OR DOUBTING HENRY’S INTEGRITY????? WHAAAATTT????

^^^^^that was a jab at the Ray we’ve seen as of late

“Time. School. Working for you. My family. It’s just a lot to handle.” TOO TRUE HENRY. TOO. FREAKING. TRUE.

“I do know a guy who can get rid of your family.” Who, Ray. Who do you know?

Ray actually wanting to fix a problem rather than make it worse. Yes.

and so begins Ray’s crush on Siren. Nice try dude. My crush began the second she was on screen.

“Who’s this?” “My mom.” “Niiiiiiice. Is she still, uh, married to your dad, or--” “Yes.” “Does she ever seem lonely or--” “Go home, Ray.”

“The picture, Ray.”

aksjdklj I love that interchange.

also Hen just has this portrait of his mom in his room lolol what a momma’s boy :)))))

Jasp x Char covering for Hen even tho they have no idea what’s up ;’))))

GOOCH. MY MAN.

Henry does NOT have hepatitis Japser!!!! ajslkjslk

Gooch and Hen harmonizing those weird sounds omg lolol

“Oohloolooloooloooo--why am I doing this?!??!?!”

“Relax, kid.” “I can’t. I’ve got a huge makeup test tomorrow. I need to study, and you guys are making me go ‘oohloolooloo’“ “It’s ‘Oohloolooloo--” “I don’t care!!!!” I LOVE sassy Henry

all studying done in 30 seconds???? Where can i get me one of these???

“It’s a cerebral data transducer--or as we call it, the HRZ.” wtf???? lolol

“Why am i locked in a chair???” Hen asking the real questions.

the way Ray says “Puerrrrto RRRRRicoooo!”

“Will this hurt???” “Yes.” WHAT???” lolol

okay can you imagine the now jace being as extra as this jace??? No??? I didn’t think so. lololol

“Well?” “That hurt BAAAAD!!!”

“I don’t know anything about P--” *starts spitting out random PR facts* askjljsk “Wooooaaahhhh. I know Puerto Ricoooooo.”

the amount of times they’ve said Puerto Rico in this ep is crazy. I’m definitely convinced they did this for Jace alskjskl

“Do you think it’s cheating???” “Ehhhh.” “It’s a gray area.” GOOCH X RAY ARE MY FAVES. (i love Schwoz, but Ray x Gooch had some good chemistry.)

“I really doing this appreciate you for me.’ ASKLJDLKSJ I LOVE THIS PART OF THE EPISODE. THE SIDE EFFECTS ARE MY FAVORITE PART.

at first, i didn’t even register that he’d switched the order of the words. I was like, “Ok, I knew what he meant, but something about it made my brain feel weird???” lololol

I wonder if Jace had a hard time getting the mixed up order right akjsksl

I love the way Ray says “Uh oh.” with his eyes closed. Like, “I knew this might happen, but I was really hoping it wouldn’t.” lksjklsj

“Well you could’ve before that you told me!!!” THESE PARTS ARE MAKING ME LAUGH SO HARD.

Henry: *screams all high-pitched* aljsklsjls I’M CACKLING

I FORGOT HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS EPISODE!!!!!!!!

“So I’m gonna girl like a days for a few screams---wait.” LOLOLOLOL

*screams again*

“.......You guys wanna get lunch?” CLASSIC Ray. (can something be classic already in the first ep??? I guess the word is vintage. VINTAGE Ray.....but those r the same thing??? I don’t know ajksjlsk)

“The Vermont army finally surrendered and fled the coconut plantations.” “Coconuts in Vermont?” askjslkj school really be like that sometimes

Jasper just doodling the whole time. ME.

“Okay everyone. Get out.” Ms. Shapen is a constant mood. lolol

“100 my makeup test on I got!!!.....I mean, I got a hundred on my makeup test???” aksjlk I love u Hen

*randomly screams* “...” “.... That was inappropriate.” “I just got excited.”I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH THIS PART MAKES ME LAUGH ALKSJKLSJ

“I’m really proud of you, Henry. I’d give you a hug if it wouldn’t get me fired.” ajsksj

“Have a good weekend.” “Too you.” “....”

Henry said “Yeah, baby!” to Char. :))))) (I know it was just a quick thing on the fly, but it’s still cute)

“Where were you?” “I go to had somewhere.”

ya’ll. Henry’s mix ups are KILLING me.

“One more time???” “I. had. to. go. somewhere. Nailed it.”

*randomly screams again*

CHAR’S SCARED FACE. I’M DYING.

“You later see!” ALKSJKLJSK

I LAUGHED FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THE END OF THIS EPISODE.

I JUST REALLY LOVE THIS EPISODE. I FORGOT HOW MUCH I DID, AND IT WAS GREAT TO BE REMINDED.

this ep had it all

tired/overworked/stressed hen and his supportive friends and fam

then there’s that GOLDEN last two minutes with the side effects

just. wow.

props to Jace for doing an incredible job

he really delivered the goofiness. love my boy :))))))

rewatching these was such a good idea <3333

#this ep is def one of my faves #i was reminded how much i love it #hope this was enjoyable for you guys too #hd rewatch #mo' danger mo' problems

6 notes · View notes

theranskahovs · 6 years

Note

Ohhh can you do vlad x Reader where the reader wants him to meet their parents ?

The ding of your phone receiving a text had you unlocking it and reading over it quickly. It was your mom, asking, “Are you almost here? 🤗”

You giggled at her emoji, shooting back a quick, “Yep. 5 mins ☺️”

You and Vladimir were driving back home to meet your parents for the first time. It’d taken a lot of convincing for him to agree, and many an argument about how he didn’t want to take this important step in your relationship.

The reason Vlad was hesitant wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but rather he was afraid to. He knew your parents wouldn’t approve of him, and that’s without knowing what business he was in.

You were nervous too, for the same reason. You didn’t want your dad to be disappointed in who you’d fallen in love with, or for your mom to think you could’ve chosen someone better. You just wanted them to see Vladimir the same way you did.

“Left or right?” Vlad speaks up over the radio, the first thing he’s said in quite a while.

“Left,” you reply without hesitation, knowing the once familiar roads like the back of your hand. Vlad nods stiffly, and you notice how hard he’s gripping the wheel.

You take his right hand where it’s resting on his thigh and interlock your fingers with his. “Don’t be nervous. They’ll love you.”

“Hopefully,” he mutters. You sigh inwardly, silently agreeing with his statement.

Soon you pull up to your childhood house, and it doesn’t look any different, though it’s been years since you left for New York. Apart from growth of the trees and plants out front, you could’ve easily believed you never left.

Vlad puts the car in park, but makes no move to get out. You sling your bag over your shoulder and open your door. “You coming? They’re waiting.”

He nods, but doesn’t make a sarcastic comment like he normally would. You hold his hand as you walk to the front door.

You knock, and in half an instant your mom opens the door, exclaiming your name and pulling you into a tight hug. “I missed you so much!”

You hug her back with just as much enthusiasm. “You act like I disappeared. We talk every week,” you remind her with a laugh.

She pulls back and for the first time truly studies your boyfriend. “You’re Vladimir?”

He nods, attempting to smile. “Nice to meet you.” He looks unsure whether to offer his hand or go in for a hug, but your mom makes the decision for him and gives him a light embrace after she introduces herself.

Vlad looks a bit flustered, and you chuckle at his newfound embarrassment. “Your dad’s almost finished with lunch,” you mom informs the both of you. “Maybe Vladimir could help him finish grilling and we can bring out the other stuff?”

“Sounds like a plan,” you reply as you lead Vlad to the back of the house and into the backyard.

“Hi dad!” you greet happily, and he barely has time to put his knife down before you’re flinging your arms around his neck.

“Hi honey,” he replies, followed by a joke about you still being short.

You retort a remark back and he laughs, eyes crinkling with a few more wrinkles than the last time you’d seen him.

“Is this the chosen one?” he whispers exaggeratedly, pointing at Vladimir with the knife as he goes back to cutting ribs for the grill.

“No, I picked him up on the highway on the way,” you deadpan.

Your dad finishes cutting and wipes his hands off on a nearby towel. He sticks his hand out to Vladimir, who shakes it and opts for exchanging pleasantries.

You can tell he’s still a bit uncomfortable by your dad’s formality towards him. You feel a bit bad when your mom drags you back into the kitchen, under the guise of bringing out the other finished items.

“So…” she starts, pushing your fancier napkins into your hands as she searches for other things. “You didn’t mention he’s a bit older than you.”

“He’s not /that/ old,” you defend. You bring up one of your childhood friends, and continue, “Her boyfriend’s almost as old as Vlad. It’s no big deal.”

“The “bad boy” type was a surprise, too,” she says with a light laugh, handing you cups.

You smile, “Well, I didn’t expect it either, but now here we are.”

You finish grabbing the other necessities, and your mom hurries you up, “If your dad hasn’t bored him to death by now, he will soon. Let’s spare him.”

Once you make your way to the backyard again, you see your dad ready to plate up the food. Vladimir’s leaning against the nearby tree, sleeves of his button down rolled up but somehow not looking anymore at ease.

Your mom and dad start bringing the things to the picnic table and you stand by Vlad. “What did you two talk about?”

“Sports, grilling, work. I had to lie,” he admits.

“What did you say? Just so I know in case my mom asks.” You hate the thought of lying to your parents, but if you didn’t they’d never let you leave the house again. You may be an adult, but that wouldn’t stop them from trying to protect you if they knew.

“I froze. I said translating.”

“Time to eat!” Your mom calls to you, and you both take a seat at the table.

Lunch goes well, with Vladimir getting used to the way your family interacts with each other and starting to speak more often without prompting.

You’re surprised at the end when Vladimir asks your mom if she’d like help bringing the dishes inside. “If only he’d offer at home,” you think to yourself.

She takes him up on the offer and you help your dad clean up outside. You two talk seriously about your life, if you think you’ll be staying in New York, and about Vlad.

“Do you like him?” you ask your dad.

“Yeah, I do. I’d always pictured you with someone… different somehow, but if he makes you happy that’s enough for me.”

“Are you going to give him the famous dad lecture, or have you done it yet?”

Your dad laughs, smiling as he packs the leftover meat in a container. “Your mom’s doing it right now.”

“No way,” you say with a chuckle.

“Yeah, she’s been looking forward to it all day, so I figured I’d let her have her moment.”

When Vladimir emerges from the house again you ask him how it went. “She’s somehow scarier than your dad,” he admits, but you’re just glad the first meeting went well.

#send me headcanons and preferences 👋👋👋#asks #anon #writing #headcanons #vladimir ranskahov

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