#my aunt recently had to put down her dog of ~18 years so we wanted to give her some happy days to look forward to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tiffdawg · 3 years

Text

Curriculum Vitae: Chapter Seventeen

Gif: @javier-pena

curriculum vitae noun cur·ric·u·la vi·tae Latin. the course of one’s life.

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader (fem; no y/n)

Word Count: 3.4k

Rated: E | Warnings: NSFW – semi-explicit sexual content, l*ve m*king. Feelings. Domesticity. 18+ only.

Chapter Summary: In this chapter, Javier returns to Los Angeles to spend New Year's Eve with you.

A/N: My plan to have this chapter our at the start of the month didn't pan out, but here is the NYE chapter. Finally! I hope that you all enjoy it and are having a wonderful start to 2021. Thank you, as always, for reading and supporting this story. Sending lots of love!

Read on AO3

CV Masterlist | My Masterlist

… . …

Chapter Seventeen

As you stood outside gate C14, you tightened your grip on Sunny’s leash. With a wagging tail and shining eyes, she pulled in every direction, determined to greet every passing traveler.

“Hey,” you whispered, “I know you’re excited but be good before they kick us both out.” You weren’t exactly sure if she was supposed to be there but sometimes it was better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission. She made a displeased whining noise as she sat down next to you. “Don’t you want to see Javi?” Her ears perked up at the familiar name. “I thought so.”

You glanced back at the gate through the crowd of people. There was still no sign of any disembarking passengers. You took a deep breath and tamped down your own excitement, deciding to crouch down next to Sunny and pet her rather than stare at the empty gate. Your affectionate touch calmed the both of you.

So when she yipped again, you knew exactly why.

Glancing up, you found Javier scanning the crowd and his eyes were drawn to Sunny’s bark. A grin broke out on his face that certainly matched yours.

The two of you met somewhere in the middle. You don’t even remember making the conscious decision to move toward him. It was just instinctual. Like the way you threw your arms around Javier’s neck and his wound around your waist as your lips met in one long deep kiss that left you weak in the knees. You leaned into him, knowing he’d keep you steady, and savored the way he hummed in pleasure against your lips.

“Hi,” Javier breathed as he rested his forehead against yours. You traced the curve of his smile with the pad of your thumb as you cupped his cheek. It was one of those perfect ones that crinkled the corners of his eyes and left him looking years younger. And so damn happy.

“Hi,” you echoed, unsure if you could find another word in that moment. But maybe you didn’t need to say anything else. It was enough just to feel his arms around you again.

“I missed this,” he murmured. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Javi.” Your eyes fell as you took him in. Long-sleeved plaid shirt tucked into his well-fitting dark wash jeans and paired with his signature boots. You ran your hands over the soft material covering his chest. “You didn’t have to come back,” you whispered.

“I wanted to.”

“What about your dad?”

“He has plenty of family to spend the night with. He was fine with me leaving early.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah,” he answered, rolling his eyes. “When he found out you were spending New Year’s Eve alone, he smacked me upside the head and told me to get on the next plane to LA.” You made a surprised noise that quickly turned into giggles. “Don’t laugh at that. That’s not funny,” he said with a smile of his own.

You laced your fingers with his and kissed the back of his hand, trying to hide your grin. “It is, actually.” Your smile fell. “Still, you didn’t have to come back just for me.”

“Yes, I did. I wouldn’t have been happy knowing you were alone. I’m right where I want to be.” His grin widened and you felt a quiet laugh in his chest. “I don’t think you were the only one who missed me.” You followed his eyes to find Sunny, tongue out and tail wagging, with two paws on Javier’s hip as she vied for his attention. He let go of you only to kneel down to greet her. “Si, si, te extrañé,” he shushed as he tried to calm the excited dog. Your heart soared as he planted a kiss on the top of her head.

“Should we stop by baggage claim?” you asked.

“Nope.” He stood and swung a worn leather duffle over his shoulder. “Let’s go home.”

You tried not to read much into his turn of phrase as he slung an arm around your shoulders and guided you out of the busy terminal. “So,” you decided to prod as you waited at the crosswalk leading to the parking garage, “you told your dad about me?”

“Well, he figured it out.” He continued only at your confused expression. “He said I was happy.”

You kissed him. “I’m happy too,” you said, slipping a hand in his back pocket and squeezing his ass through his denim jeans. That earned you a wolfish grin that brought out that lone dimple just for you.

… . …

“It looks like 1985 in here,” you commented as soon as Javier could even set his duffle and your overpacked tote on the kitchen counter and flick on the lights. “Well, at least the parts you’ve unboxed.”

“Didn’t want to get too settled.” You peered over your shoulder at him with a bit of a scowl. All he could offer in response was a shrug as he slid your coat off your shoulders and hung it next to his. “I didn’t know if I would last the first week of classes let alone the first month.”

“You absolutely did. You survived the whole fall quarter.”

“Only because of you.”

Two fingers gripped his chin and turned his face toward yours. Your eyes locked onto his. “You’ve got to start giving yourself some credit, Javier. You’re a damn good professor. Whether you like it or not.”

“Wouldn’t you rather inspect what I have decorated?” he asked, placing two hands on your hips and spinning you around. “I know you’re dying to.”

“Maybe a little,” you admitted with a light laugh. With a firm hand on the small of your back as he pushed you further into the apartment. “Bedroom and bathroom are that way,” he said, pointing down the dark hall.

You gestured to the closed door on the opposite side of the living room. “What’s that room?”

“Empty spare bedroom.”

“God, I hate you. You have a gorgeous two-bedroom apartment in Brentwood, and you don’t even appreciate it. An empty room, boxes still unopened. Why don’t we ever come here? Your place is so much better than mine.”

“It’s fucking depressing,” he scoffed.

“I could help you make it feel like home.” You meant that innocently. He could hear it in your tone. You were probably only referring to adding a few throw pillows or candles or something like that, but already just having you there felt different. He’d thought he was going back home to Texas, but the truth was he felt more at home now just by being with you. “Yeah, I think you could.” You might’ve responded, but something caught your attention.

Almost reverently, you picked up a framed photograph off the lone bookshelf in his living room. “Your mother?” you asked quietly. He didn’t have to look at the photo to know which one you were drawn to.

“Yes,” he answered as he moved to stand behind you. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders, he pulled you back against his chest so he could peer down at the black and white photo in your hands. He was maybe five. Just a gangly boy with limbs too long for his own good and a cast on one arm from when he’d fallen off his new bike. That younger version of him sat his mother’s lap in front of a birthday cake lit with thirty-some odd candles. Much like the way he held you in that moment, his father stood behind the pair with his arms around his wife. She wore a dazzling smile that his aunts swore he inherited from her. If he remembered correctly, his father was behind the camera, muttering something that made them all laugh at the time.

“She was beautiful,” you commented. Lost for words, Javier pressed a kiss to your temple. But the mood clearly shifted. “And you were adorable.” Your eyes narrowed as you looked back at him. “What do you think happened?”

Javier grinned at your dig. “She would’ve liked you.”

You reached for the only other framed photograph. A more recent shot of Javier and an equally mustachioed blond man sitting together at an open-air bar, both looking unusually relaxed and happy with a beer in one and their arms around each other’s shoulders. One of the rare moments like that in Colombia. “This must be Steve,” you observed.

“His wife sent me that as a housewarming gift.”

“That’s so nice of her. You need something to cheer this place up.” Still clutching the photo, you turned in his arms. “Do you– I don’t know if I’ll ever get to meet them, but do you think they would like me?”

He almost laughed at your question. It was genuine on your part but so absurdly unnecessary. “Mi compañera,” he murmured as he pressed his lips to yours, “they already do. They were surprised though.”

“Do I want to know why?” you smirked. He had a feeling you already had some inclination as to why that might’ve surprised his closest friends.

“No,” Javier laughed. He watched you as you smiled at the photo, tracing a fingertip along the image of him. A strange feeling gripped his chest. It was as if you were trying to know that version of him. “You never talk about it. I know you don’t like when others ask you about your time in Colombia, but you never even mention anything that happened down there to me.”

“You don’t want to know about any of that.”

“Why not?”

Because you won’t like me, his traitorous brain supplied. He let you go and joined Sunny on the couch. “Want me to put on the Times Square thing?” he asked instead.

“Yeah sure. I don’t mind either way,” you responded lightly. He cringed inwardly at how habituated you were to him deflecting your questions. Shaking his head at himself, he dug the remote out from between two of the leather couch cushions and switched on the television despite having no intention to watch.

A moment later you joined him on the couch, dropping down next to him unceremoniously as you draped an arm around him. “Don’t mope,” you compelled with a kiss on his cheek. He turned to you with a raised brow. “And don’t look at me like that.”

Javier held your gaze for a long time, entranced by the soft look in your eyes and the way your fingers played with the ends of his hair at the nape of his neck. That seemed to bring him back to the present moment. “How does pizza sound?” he asked instead of a reply.

As expected, you smiled and nodded happily.

… . …

Much like your own at home, Javier’s kitchen table was covered with stacks of books, papers, and folders. Rather than clearing it off, the two of you sat on the floor around his coffee table eating pizza slices straight from the box. With the television muted in the background, you talked quietly, mostly recounting the little things that had happened while you were apart. You asked him more questions about his family, and he seemed keen to answer. You’d learned to savor every bit of himself that he elected to share with you.

After dinner, you wandered over to the unsurprisingly well-stocked bar cart, fingers dancing over the crystal glasses and bottles of whiskey and tequila as you contemplated pouring a couple of drinks. Until you noticed something amongst the mess on his kitchen table.

You picked up a book with dozens of sticky notes peeking out of it and flipped through the pages.

Talk about this in lecture.

Assign this chapter next quarter.

Fuck. She’s brilliant.

The notes went on for pages and pages. When you finally lifted your head, finding him across the room through watery eyes, Javier looked like a boy caught red handed. His wide brown eyes locked on to you as he gauged your reaction. “You’re reading my book?” you asked, voice barely more than a whisper.

He nodded quietly. “I finished it. It’s amazing.”

“Ja– Javi.” You attempted to speak but his name was just a broken sob.

He was on his feet in an instant. With a hand on either arm, he attempted to soothe you. “Don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying,” you insisted as you roughly wiped at your cheek with the back of your hand.

“Honey,” he chided as he pulled your hand away and replaced it with his own, cupping your cheek and wiping your errant tears with his thumb. “Why does that upset you?”

“I’m not upset.”

“You’re crying.” He would think that. He’d never seen you cry before. You’d cried from laughing at something he’d said on more than one occasion. There were a few tears once when you were frustrated. But nothing like this.

“That– that doesn’t mean I’m upset. It’s just– That’s–” you tried to collect yourself as you fisted the front of his shirt with one hand and pulled him closer. You took a deep breath and met his gaze. “That’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

The scrunched up look on his face was almost comical, and you would’ve laughed any other time. “That is?” he asked, dumbfounded. Before he could say anything else, you slotted your mouth with his, kissing him with everything you had. “Of course I read your book,” he assured you, kissing you over and over again. Your body practically melted against his. “You’re fucking amazing, mi compañera” His hands moved to your face, wiping away the tears. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re... you’re crying again. What’s wrong?”

“I think I–” You stopped yourself. Or rather the words threatened to choke you, so you swallowed them down and hid them away. Instead, you caressed his face as you looked at him through half-lidded eyes. “I need you.”

Javier hesitated, watching you for a moment longer, eyes smoldering as they bored into your soul, before his mouth met yours with renewed determination.

You didn’t even bother looking around Javier’s bedroom as the two of you burst through the door. The two of you were a mess of limbs desperately trying to strip the other of their clothes. He walked you back toward the bed until your calves hit the frame.

“Why are you still holding this?” he asked, prying the book out of your hand and tossing it on his nightstand. He lifted your thick knit sweater off your body and over your head with ease and his hands quickly found the button of your black denim jeans while you worked on his shirt buttons.

As soon as your clothes had fallen aside, he laid you back in his bed, letting you rest against the pillows as he eagerly kissed a frenzied path down your body.

“Javi, wait.” He froze above you with concern in his eyes “Please be gentle with me,” you asked softly.

The implication was clear. And it weighed heavily between you.

Javier nodded once, almost imperceptibly, and you relinquished yourself to him. He changed course, and his lips found yours once more. While he kissed you, his fingers gently prodded you, stretching you out and readying your body for him. You whimpered against hip lips, wanting more than anything to feel him inside you.

“Shh, baby,” he shushed you huskily, intertwining your fingers in a tender gesture, “I’ve got you now.” You spread your legs wider, aching for him. Only him. And mercifully, he lined himself at your entrance, dripping with your desire, and slowly thrust forward, filling you to the hilt and stealing the air from your lungs.

As he moved inside you, every kiss, every touch seared your skin with invisible brands that would mark you forever as belonging to Javier. And you let him.

Neither of you said much of anything, preferring to simply breath each other in. You let the moans and mewls falling from your lips fill the room as your bodies rejoined and relearned each other. Hand in hand and warm skin on warm skin.

Until a wave of euphoria pulled you asunder and you came hard and shaking beneath him.

“You’re so beautiful. So fucking beautiful.” You only heard his murmurs of praise as you broke the surface and came up for air. He kissed away the teardrops streaking your cheeks. You tried weakly to apologize for crying again. “It’s okay,” he assured you, “I feel it too.”

You gaped at him as you watched him move above you, still buried deep inside you, chest heaving and some unspoken emotion drowning his eyes. You wanted him to feel everything that you did in that moment. Wanted to make him to feel the same sticky sweet pleasure

With little resistance, you pushed Javier onto his back and straddled his hips. He looked divine beneath you. His hands reverently caressed your back as you settled on top of him before snaking around your body to hold you tightly against him. You pressed your forehead to his as you rolled your hips, sliding up and down his cock and coating him with your creamy pussy.

Only when his chest hallowed with a broken, desperate groan did you finally take pity and sink down on him. You caught his sharp exhale with your lips. You focused on kissing him, pouring all your affection into him, and he slowly rocked up into you. It was unrushed and unhurried, as if the two of you had all the time in the world. Maybe you did.

“I need you to cum with me. Right now.” His fingers found your clit, coaxing a second climax from you.

“Let go for me,” you whispered against his ear.

Javier shattered beautifully under your touch.

… . …

Javier pulled back the bedsheets for you as you slipped back into bed next to him after spending way too long in a steaming hot shower together. “Did you bring these for me?” he asked, fingering the fabric of your satin sleep shorts with a lopsided grin. Dozens of little embroidered dogs dotted the fabric.

“Yes,” you chirped. “They always seem to make you smile.”

He shook his head at you. “No, honey, you make me smile.”

When he said things like that, he took the breath right out of your lungs. The rest of the world faded away and nothing else mattered. It was only the two. It was then that you noticed the time on the clock behind him. Time hadn’t stopped after all. In fact, it was 12:01 on the dot.

“Happy New Year, Javi,” you said with a smile. “I think this is going to be a really good year.”

“I do too,” he agreed. He cupped your cheek and guided your lips to his for a midnight kiss. “Happy New Year, baby. Now c’mere.”

You laughed as Sunny responded to his command. She seemed to appear from nowhere only to hop up on the bed and lay half on top of him with her head on his chest. “Yeah, you too,” he smiled, scratching behind her ears. You indulged for a moment, hoping you could commit the scene to memory. But Javier looked like he was on the verge of sleep, so you switched off the small lamp and happily curled up next to him. He draped an arm across your waist as you looked up at him. “I fucking missed my girls,” he mumbled before drifting off into a dream. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you watched him in the faint moonlight.

You weren’t sure if it was the holiday season or that magical stroke of midnight, but as you gazed up at him, you realized you didn’t just want Javier to be your yesterday, today or tomorrow. You wanted him to be your whole future. You wanted to spend your whole life with him because…

Your heart belonged to Javier Peña. You loved him. Truly, deeply loved him.

That thought didn’t scare you as much as you thought it would.

... . ...

Thank you for reading!

... . ...

Forever Tags: @leo-moon @readsalot73 @frietiemeloen @huliabitch @jerusomeeno @benedrylcumbersnatch @b0n-chann @scapricciatello @liadamerondjarin @pedropasscals @paintballkid711 @mistermiraclee @honeyand-roses @bobaandthefetts @themilkface @mylifeliterally @mskitty79 @rosiefridayrogersunday @perropascal @giselatropicana @roxypeanut @sarahjkl82-blog @kylerr @aerolanya @artsymaddie @linkpk88 @antisocialshipper @ennuiandthebourgeoise @petersunderoos96 @toastytaurus @321-lets-go

Curriculum Vitae Tags: @softpedropascal @unstoppableforcce @technicallykawaiisoul @mrsparknuts @weirdowithnobeardo @seeking-a-great--perhaps @assultsofthought @the-bird-suit @magneticbucky @bbygrgu @scarlettvonsass @buckstaposition @emzd34 @itsilvermorny @thewayofthemandalorian @triggerhappyflygirl @northernpunk @lindsaybluthforlife @michaelgaryscottismydad @coni-martina @harrys-stan @valeecruz16 @hufflepuff-ophelia @captainjaspenor @bees-fart-too @nyasiaaaaa @stackedpaperbacks

Javier Peña Tags: @wander-lustbabe @witchqraft

Join the Taglist

#fic: curriculum vitae #javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #narcos #narcos fanfic

340 notes · View notes

jinxedpanda4life · 3 years

Text

Criminal Investigator AU HC

I would first like to start off by saying thank you to everyone.

I honestly did not expect the response I got to my Damirae Hospital AU HC list.

When I first woke up and checked tumblr ~13 hours after posting I had a holy shit moment.

I felt powerful, should I? Probably not.

But! Since I am noticing a lack of AUs in the fandom, whether on Tumblr, AO3 or FanFiction.net, whatever AU comes to my mind I shall jot down some hcs for!

Thank you all once again!

(Also trying format changes for easy reading)

(Also Also, I am thinking the story is less fluid but more episodic)

Let’s get started:

- So I’m thinking this is some FBI, SVU, and FBI BAU mixture or whatever. Basically all the great shows we know in love shoved together. From Bones to Criminal Minds and everything in between.

- Special Agent (Dr.) Raven Roth is a lead interrogator and is the resident psych consult.

She’s been educated in interrogation, behavioral science, psychology, forensic pathology, and criminology.

She has combat training (hand to hand), she carries (for her job) a gun and at all times has a knife/dagger on her person (people have stopped trying to figure out where she keeps them).

Her father was/is crime boss T. Trigon who is currently imprisoned.

Was born in the states but fled with her mother to Romania when she was a newborn.

When Trigon found them he killed Arella and took Raven, she was abut 9 - 10 years old.

She took her mother’s last name when she turned 18.

Knows two languages besides English; French, Romanian, Romani (various dialects but knows multiple), Greek and Latin

On more than one occasion some goon of her father’s tries to recruit her, every time she kicks their ass. (Damian was there for the most recent (he was still green though))

Lives by herself in a decent sized apartment, has a gun safe (gun safety is important!), a cat (Nevermore), and is a regular at a 24/7 bookstore &/ cafe

Can usually be found wearing some kind of jacket, sweater, cardigan

She once helped save some kids (Melvin, Tommy & Teether) and is now their surrogate aunt, she has photos of them at her desk @ work. (Damian assumes/ed that they were her kids)

She also, when she can, hangs out and babysits them on occasion.

Raven is part of a team consisting of Dick Grayson (unit leader), Kori Anders, Garfield Logan, Jaime Reyes, and very recently Damian Wayne

- Special Agent Damian Wayne is a lead investigator (he is still a bit fresh to the unit), translator, sniper and combat coordinator

He’s been educated in martial arts, explosives, hand to hand combat, close range combat, and combat (basically he knows how to kill you 9 ways to Sunday), also, behavioral science, computer science, criminology, linguistics and language.

He can easily translate (into English): Arabic, Mandarin Chinese, Russian, Hindi, Bengali, French, Polish, German, Spanish, Portuguese, he can also learn any language you put in front of him and know the basics within a day

(Having lived in many places around the world he needed to be able to speak and understand in order to survive) (wow dramatic much?)

His father is currently the director (or deputy director, whatever floats ya boat) of the FBI.

His mother was essentially a secret agent who worked for various agencies around the globe. (deceased)

His grandfather was the leader of a, um, well to be honest, terrorist agency. (deceased)

Was sent to live with his father when he was 15 (when his mother died) and has been in the states ever since

Lives alone, he has an upscale apartment that he truthfully spends little time in, has multiple locations in the home where various weapons are stored, his place has a very cold atmosphere

Is either in proper work attire or in work out clothing, there is no in between

Tries and fails not to take work home with him

He sees a therapist (who says he should probably try investing in relationships with the people at his job)

His only “friend” (he hates calling him that, more like close acquaintance) is Jonathan Kent who was in his class at the FBI Academy, Jon works in a white collar crime department in Metropolis

The only person he actually kind of sort of doesn’t dislike is in fact Raven Roth, she’s a no bull shit person, he likes that

He may know Grayson because of how he’s Bruce’s kind of son but it does not mean he likes him

He finds Logan annoying as all hell, even if he is somewhat useful

He picked a fight with Reyes first day and regretted it (he will never admit that), he respects him

Anders is overly friendly in his opinion, kind of acts like a secretary with all that positivity and grates his nerves, he tolerates her

(Unlike last time I am not going in detail about the rest of the team, this will be brief)

- Supervisory Special Agent Dick Grayson (Unit Chief) is basically Dick Grayson with a big fancy title but all the same skills

He is also obsessed with Slade Wilson and Red X (who is Jason in this)

- Supervisory Special Agent Kori Anders is a lead investigator and is also a go to for undercover work

- Special Agent Garfield Logan is a lead interrogator, is head of the unit’s K-9 unit and kind of has a thing for Roth (which she does not reciprocate)

- Special Agent Jaime Reyes is a tactical analyst, tech analyst and is head of the unit’s SWAT team, he does not do well with talking with people, or change

The Scarab is a computing program that Jaime created himself

STORY START:

- When Damian first joins the team there is another member, Special Agent Terra Markov, she is revealed as a sleeper agent but she aligns herself with the team and sadly is shot and killed in a fire fight

- A couple weeks after Agent Markov’s death everyone is talking about what they are doing for an upcoming holiday, Damian says probably nothing, Raven invites him to spend it with her and her “niece” and “nephews,” he declines

- About a day after the holiday Damian is home looking through case files when someone knocks on his door

-- It is Raven. He asks how she knew where he lived, she says she asked Dick, she also says that she knows how it feels to be alone and that he may be insufferable but it doesn’t mean he can’t have a friend

-- His response is saying he isn’t the kind to make friends with co workers

-- “I’m not asking to be your friend Damian, I am asking you to be his,” She reveals a small black great dane puppy “I know that other people aren’t really your thing, but having someone in your corner and waiting for you is always nice, even if it isn’t human.”

-- Damian invites her in, names the dog Titus and thanks her

-- “Just make sure no one tries to kidnap and kill you, we don’t need you to go full blown John Wick.” Damian has no idea who that is. Raven tells him it is an action movie series that he should watch. She leaves. He does watch them that night with Titus on his lap. (after having gone to the local pet supply store to get everything he needs) The action is inaccurate but he enjoyed the movies none the less, and decides that he probably would go into John Wick mode if someone hurt Titus.

- SA Roth and SA Wayne are sent to a high security federal prison to interrogate a prisoner, who refuses to speak

-- When they get into the interview room the prisoner does start to speak, but not in English and not in a language Damian is fluent in

-- Raven on the other hand immediately responds to the prisoner (shocking the prisoner and Damian) “He is speaking Romani though not the dialect of those overseas, he learned it here.”

-- Damian is fascinated by it and they are essentially switching roles the entire time

-- They leave having successfully interviewing the prisoner, and Raven leaves behind a written list of common words in Romani so that they can possibly communicate with the prisoner better

-- As soon as they are on the plane back Damian asks her a myriad of questions from “How many languages do you know?” to “When did you learn that?” and even “Are you a spy? Sleeper agent? Part of a terrorist cell?”

-- “Not as many as you, when I was a child, if I was part of any of that you wouldn’t be asking.” The rest of the trip is spent with her teaching him Romani and even some Romanian

- Dick & Kori eventually get together and after a while they break up. Kori takes some vacation time. At the same Dick has been temporarily reassigned to another unit.

-- Chaos ensues

-- Garfield thinks he should be the interim unit chief, Jaime thinks the same, as does, you guessed it, Damian (Raven doesn’t want to she is comfortable with her role on the team)

-- In the end they are assigned an interim unit chief, SSA Jason Todd, who usually works overseas on covert op missions (not gonna lie this could easily flow into a Jayrae thing)

-- Everyone kind of falls into line, except Damian, Damian doesn’t like him for two reasons

1) He doesn’t act serious about the job 24/7

2) He has been flirting and hitting on Raven the moment he stepped into their sector

-- Damian hates the names he gives her; “Little Bird,” “Sunshine,” “Princess,” “Rae,” (no one calls her Rae, not even Garfield, at least not after the incident) etc.

-- (Little does Damian know, Jason and Raven have worked together before and are actually friends)

-- This all comes to a head when Damian and Jason are the only ones still in the office after a tiring case.

“You shouldn’t do that you know.”

“Do what? All I am doing right now is contemplating where Grayson keeps the liquor.”

“Call Raven all those names, she doesn’t like it.”

“Really? Because if you haven’t noticed she hasn’t exactly asked me to stop.”

“She gets uncomfortable, maybe not to the extent of asking you to stop, but she tenses up and her body language becomes slightly more agitated.”

“You seem to pay a lot of attention in how she reacts to thinks baby brat. Seems to me that you like her.”

“Of course I like her, she is a good friend and reliable teammate.”

“No, you like like her.”

“That presumption is juvenile.”

“But you don’t deny it.”

“Tch.”

-- If anything after that conversation Jason seems to doubled his advances. Which confuses both Damian and Raven. Damian because it is inappropriate and HR will be hearing about this. Raven because she was under the assumption that she and Jason were just friends. (Jason actually does have genuine intentions but is like 60% just egging Damian on)

-- Eventually (far too long for Damian’s tastes), both Dick and Kori return. At first it is sooooooo awkward. Like mom and dad divorced have shared custody but don’t hate each other but also cannot look each other in the eye. ((Was that a mouthful? Good)) No one can really look at each other the same? Though they do have a meeting to sort it out, get everything out in the open.

- Raven’s annual kidnapping/attempt to convert her/torture comes almost exactly one year after Damian joined the team (this is his 2nd time dealing with this)

-- This time Damian is prepared. By prepared I mean Raven doesn’t even leave her apartment before she is taken to safety.

“Damian what is going on?”

“Christmas came early this year that’s what.”

“Christmas? What in gods name are you talking about.”

“God has no dealings in this matter.”

“You do realize you are sounding like a bad action movie? It is not even 6 am and I am in your car going somewhere, I have had little to no sleep and I am barely dressed. What is going on?” Damian hadn’t payed attention to what clothing Raven was wearing. His mind was on one goal. Find Raven, keep Raven safe. His eyes glanced off the road enough to realize she was indeed not properly dressed. Her body was merely adorned with an oversized tee-shirt, tiny barely there shorts and a pair of fluffy socks.

“I apologize, it appears in my haste I did not leave you time to properly clothe yourself. As to why you are here, it seems your father and his people have shortened their waiting time this year from one year to a little more than ten months.” Ravens hands fisted her shirt. “This time I was prepared,” last time he was still new to everything, last time he made mistakes, this time there will be no mistakes. “Since our last encounter with your demon, so to speak, I have been setting in place precautions and safety measures to ensure Nevermore and yours’ safety. I have also been tracking the movements of his big players. If any came close I would mark it down. Multiple are entering the city at this moment. Seeing as you we taken last time I have made plans to ensure that will not happen again.” The car made a snap turn down an unfamiliar street pulling Raven from her clouded gaze.

“So I am going to be okay this time?” Her voice was faint and restraining against hope.

“You’re going to be okay.” His hand lightly held hers. Only to stop the shaking, they told themselves, only to make everything better. “Nevermore is with Titus at my place being watched by a friend of mine. I have already walked Grayson through everything we will not be expected at work this week, but we can work remotely.”

“We?”

“I’m not going to leave you. Ever.”

-- ((Sorry for the blocks of text))

-- As Raven finds out they are at one of Damian’s safe houses. The one least likely to be tied to her. It is fully stocked with food, has security cameras and if needed weapons. The only problem is that the only clothes there are Damians.

“Thought of everything huh?”

“I was following their pattern, I expected to have more time to acquire clothing for you.” (he was looking away and blushing, you cannot tell me he wasn’t)

-- Raven just resigns herself to wearing Damian’s clothes, yes his brain does stop working for a hot second when he sees her in only his clothes.

-- All attempts to try and retrieve codename: Gem of Scath are foiled (like some good math)

-- So many bonding moments happen. Cuddling (pure accident *rolls eyes*), eating together, inside jokes, etc. At one point Damian answers her phone (he disabled and disconnected the tracer) to one of the mob guys after them.

“Hello?”

“You can hide the gem but we will find her.”

“I’m sorry, is there a jewel you are looking for? I don’t think I have and any jewels that I am coveting.”

“We know you are with her! It is but a matter of time until we collect her.”

“I hope you do eventually find whatever you are looking for sir, but I haven’t the slightest idea the gem you speak of. If you could give me a physical description? Is it a ruby, diamond, onyx? Is it round or more of a pear shape?”

“...”

“Well, I will look for it here, but I do not believe I possess what you speak of. Will you give me your number so I can call you back?” (The line cuts dead, and Raven can be seen laughing in the background, the phone was on speaker)

-- Once the team tracks down, arrests and interrogates all of the parties working for Trigon; Raven and Nevermore can go home. Though both are reluctant in their own way. Nevermore has grown attached to Titus, and Raven well Raven has feelings. Sadly, as Raven knows, feelings are dangerous to have in their line of work.

-- Look at Dick and Kori they were together and then they fell apart and the team almost imploded.

-- What about Trigon if he finds out about Damian and how she feels towards him? What kind of danger will he be in then?

-- Like all of her feelings Raven puts them in a box and locks the box away. Not just figuratively, in her safe there is a box with: post its, torn papers, journals, etc. That box has a lock on it. Whenever she has a new feeling that she cannot ignore, like her feelings towards Special Agent Wayne, she takes out the box and writes her feelings down. They can range from a single sentence to pages worth. (Her feelings towards Damian fill a small notebook she has on hand). Once she has written all of her feelings out she places them in the box, locks said box and then places the locked box in her safe, which she then locks.

-- Is this a healthy way to cope with her feelings? Maybe not. But, it is way better than how Damian deals with his. Violence. Also art but violence comes first.

- At this point both Damian and Raven have caught the feelings (highly contagious I hear), which makes this a little awkward and a little not awkward. For one everyone but Raven knows how Damian feels towards her. He does things for her and with her that no one else gets the privilege to.

-- To list a few:

--- He brings her tea whenever he gets himself coffee or tea

--- He talks to her about what he does outside of work, even about his kind of friend definitely not enemy, Jon.

--- They socialize outside of work. Watching bad movies (some of them are not that bad), going to the park with Titus (they once got Nevermore in a leash and walked her), meeting each other before and after work to get breakfast or dinner.

--- He doesn’t glare at her

--- He allows physical contact between the two

--- He worries about her (hello he created an entire plan so that she wouldn’t get kidnapped, with contingencies and everything, garfield would be lucky to get a plan)

--- His eyes light up when she talks, or enters a room, or you know exists in his vicinity

--- He actually smiles around her (Dick caught him smiling once at Raven and he though Damian was having a stroke)

-- Even though everyone knows Damian likes Raven, very few know that Raven likes Damian back. (this only includes; Kori, Dick, Jason, Titus, Nevermore, and Melvin) She does do certain things that give herself away just like Damian.

--The list:

--- When Damian gets frustrated or angry she puts a hand on his arm, or holds his hand

--- She laughs at things he does (light chuckles, or little giggles)

--- She will talk to him about his interests and actively tries to have conversations with him about things unrelated to work.

--- She blushes when he does something unexpected (like a compliment)((Mostly she tries to hide it until he isn’t looking at her))(((Kori has caught the blush before)))

-- Luckily for them it does not take some cliche ‘One suddenly becomes in danger and the other one saves them only to be close to death and then they admit their love for one another and promise to go on a date when the other is healed’ situation.

-- Damian actually asks Raven out after being tipped of by Jason and Dick that she may like him back. Damian finds out when they have days off at the same time and asks her while leaving work.

“Raven, you have this weekend off correct?”

“Yeah I do. I wasn’t planning on doing anything though. Did you have something in mind?”

“Um, yeah, heh, I was wondering if you would do me the pleasure of going to dinner with me tomorrow.” *Awkwardly rubs back of neck*

“Like a date or two friends going to dinner?” *Thinks she sounds harsh* “I am honestly fine with either since we are friends.” *nervous smile*

“Like a date if that is okay with you of course.”

“Yeah, yeah totally that is totally okay with me.” *Starts sounding like a teenage girl who only knows about 10 words, because she’s nervous*

“Good, I’ll be by your place around 1830, if that is okay?” *nerve central, the central nervous system could never*

“Yup that is totally fine with me.”

“Great.”

“Good.” The elevator opens in the knick of time.

“See you tomorrow evening Agent Roth. Have a good night.”

“You too, Agent Wayne, you too.”

-- When Damian does pick her up he feels like his brain is going to explode. She looks absolutely breathtaking. This is just like all the other times they’ve gone to dinner, except this restaurant is slightly fancier and they are on a date.

-- Raven feels as though all her emotions are leaking out at once, she has no idea what she is doing.

-- In the end they have a good time and decide to do it again. Damian does bring up that all of the breakfasts and dinners they regularly do could now be considered dates. Raven does not oppose that switch at all.

- Fast forward a handful of years (like 3?), Damian and Raven are moved in together (Nevermore and Titus are happy about this, they even allow the humans to adopt another pet, a cat named Alfred). Damian is now Supervisory Special Agent Wayne and is in charge of their unit. Raven has retired from field work and now works at the FBI academy and at Virginia State University. In about 6 months Damian is going to propose and Raven will say yes. Their wedding will be small but happy and full of life.

Once again I would like to thank everyone and all the support the previous post got.

Like last time if anything is disjointed, out of place or seems wrong, please go ahead and tell me. I have been working on this since the last one, but have finally had the time to finish it.

I hope the new year will bring us all some good. Possibly more head canons to come.

#damirae #Damian Wayne #raven #Rachel Roth #damian x raven #Teen Titans #Headcanon #How do tags work #dc #demonbirds

71 notes · View notes

kitsu-katsu · 3 years

Text

Let me just have a little demi-ace rant because I've been thinking™ and I have to put it somewhere

So I'm demi-biromantic ace, I've known for almost three years now, it's awesome, I'm completely fine with my identity and felt so much joy when I first found out I could identify as that and that there were other people like me, and there were even relatable memes, all fun and good times

And I truly love being ace and arospec, because I don't know what it is to not be, but I like how I am. I've always felt this way and even before I knew what it was, I just knew that I didn't have any interest in romance shit, I just expected to like one day just catch feelings for some random dude at like 16 or something, I was expecting to just develop the het™

But I didn't

I fell for one of my best friends I'd known for almost two years

She was a girl

There started the self discovery

I had to question if I was a lesbian, but I didn't quite feel like it was right, because the attraction was just so specific towards her, and other girls could be gorgeous, cute, pretty, but I'd look at them how you'd look at a painting, same with gorgeous, cute and pretty guys (which I later learned was aesthetic attraction, because "people pretty" isn't the same as "I wanna bang/be with people"). Then I went "what about bi?" And that one seemed to fit better, because outside of her I felt the same towards guys and gals

So I considered myself bi for like 2 months

But then rocking to the song "never been in love" by Will Jay and being like "ME" I saw a bunch of people saying "aroace anthem" in the comments

And I started searching

And OH, romantic and sexual attraction aren't the same thing? And you can feel just one of them without the other? And it is like a spectrum?? Woah

And bam, there it is, got my perfect label made of combining three, so, demi-biromantic ace

To this day I feel strongly aligned to it, which I didn't know if I would later down the line at the time

Now, what's my problem? The one a lot of aspec and arospec people will identify with: Societal expectations are a bitch

And especially when I see my own mother pressuring cousins along with a bunch of 40-50 year old aunts into having a kid because "You're almost 30, the age has come, get going, get a man who'll have you, have kids already, your other cousin had kids, give them a playmate"

I can see so many things wrong there, and being 17, almost 18 in a few months and knowing that they'll want to pester me like that one day is... Man

And half my family is homophobic, my mum really was and just became a bit less in recent years, so what if whenever I feel some sort of attraction again is for a girl? They'll pester me double the amount probably. Like half of me wants to get attracted romantically to a girl and get a girlfriend to kiss in front of them out of spite

And my mother is just thinking "Oh she's just not into that yet, she's just focused on studying", which yeah, I am, but my aro-ace-ness has nothing to do with that

It's just such a hassle to think about the future in the romantic scene when the only thing I know is that I'll probs have some family member breathing down my throat because "BuT hAvE kIdS tO bE pLaYmAtEs", and am already a bit insecure about whenever my friends decide to get married later down the line and I'll continue being me on my own, which on the one hand I'm fine with, but on the other societal expectations plus maybe I'll feel left a bit behind, I don't know what will happen man, I just want to have a dog and a good living space whenever I go to live on my own

And in the present, with a mostly bi friend group who only knew "oh she's just not interested" once when they were talking about orientations I decided to come out

And I had to try and explain it all

Almost pulled out a graph

And they didn't quite get it, but they accepted me

And I think they legit forgot I even came out ever because to this day they just say "oh she's just not interested"

And honestly only a good keysmash can accurately portray my feelings because english is great, spanish is too, but neither can quite convey this turmoil: gskallanahwjakzjzgkalalsbsbzkzjghbqqkhx

TLDR: I love being me, but other humans will try to make my life difficult and not understand, so you know what? I have my graph explaining the split attraction model and aro-ace spectrums and my memes to make me feel sane at the ready

Here's to all the arospec and aspec people who may relate to this mess of a post, cheers, may we use our godhood to transcend this mortal plane riding dragons and eating cake

#random rant #rant #if you're here for fandom you can just ignore #aro #ace #arospec #aromantic #asexual #asexuality #aspec #demiromantic #demi

33 notes · View notes

gender-critical-analytical · 3 years

Text

not to vent on main, but,,,

tw: mentions of rape and child abuse

I'm moving out of state in a month or so, which is kind of a big deal for me, as I'm still technically a minor. I'm moving across the country with my room mate, who just turned 18, and until we both have jobs and have built enough credit to rent an apartment, he and I are going to be staying with some family of his while he starts college. Before moving officially, I'm taking a brief trip to Florida so his family can actually meet me, and vice versa, and to really get a more full picture of what I'm walking into. I'm not worried too much in regards to his family's opinion of me, they've all been rather receptive to the idea of me moving with him, and his nana (who we'll most likely be staying with) insists that rent won't be an issue and she's happy to have me (partially because my family took him in after his mother's passing; his father is verbally, physically, and psychologically abusive, and my room mate couldn't stand living with him anymore. There was an empty room in my house after my little brother moved in with his dad, and I convinced my family to let him stay with us. None of his family have acknowledged this outright, but I have a hunch that the whole situation has something to do with their immediate kindness towards me, not that I'm complaining).

However, with the move date moving closer and closer, the reality of the situation is starting to really sink in, and I've decided to make plans with a lot of people I know so I can say proper goodbyes, catch up, or even just establish whether or not we'll still have contact; whether I should text them when I'm in town for visits, that type of thing. I think it will be good for me to see familiar faces one last time, and I think having a sense of closure will be good for me. At the very least, it lets me catch up with a lot of people and find out what I've missed over the past year, or however long it's been since I saw them. There aren't too many people I'll wind up making plans with, at least not from my school, since I got booted from my friend group for being a radfem. I have one longstanding friend who I know heard about what happened, and for a while I thought she simply wasn't ever going to talk to me again, but just a few days ago she hit me up and we talked, and it turns out she had just been really caught up in her job and her family life. She made no mentions of the drama at school, and we just chatted and reminisced. She and I both agreed that we should go out for dinner before I leave, and that she wants to keep in contact. There's also a few people from outside my friend group that I went to school with I want to say goodbye to.

There's S, who my room mate talked to a while back. Apparently the word of my exile hasn't reached her, and she took my lack of communication as anger, which I feel bad for now (though she actually might have heard about what happened and simply chose not to make comment when I think about it. She's a detransitioner, and one of the biggest dramas in our eighth grade year was when she bound her chest too tight and passed out outside of the building between classes and had to be carried inside because she couldn't breathe. Makes me wonder if she might have some likeminded thoughts).

There's also R, who's detrans in the opposite direction. He used to be a really violent dude, but he's gotten a lot better about it. He's had a rough home life (not to make excuses) and loves his mother, but hates his father (who has abused both him and his mother physically. I don't know why I meet so many people with terrible traumas, it really just gets worse from here). I see him taking his mother's side as a good sign in regards to his character though, and I'd actually like to say goodbye to him. He admitted that he thought he was trans just because he likes the idea of painting his nails and doing feminine things, and has since decided that he was wrong, and after a while came out as bisexual. He's also taken a lot of steps to stop being loud and violent (he was the type of guy who would punch walls and storm out of the classroom in freshman year) and has actually put effort into learning to calm down on his own (I flipped out on him when he kept calling or texting me when something was going on, which was kind of mean, but he was just constantly sending me updates on terrible shit that I couldn't help with and it was stressing me out) and solving his own issues. So I agreed to come chill with him and his dogs for a bit before leaving.

Aside from them, I have some work friends I want to make plans with. I've quit my job and made a full human resources report, because that place is a shithole and I want to go out with a bang, and it just doesn't feel right to take off without seeing some of the cool people I met one last time.

I intend to visit my little brother. I'll have to text him personally and make plans without my mom finding out, because he has her blocked, and I know he won't see me if he thinks she's involved. he moved out almost two years ago and stated that he didn't want to see my mom again until she was sober, or trying to be. My mom has tried bribing him with gifts to see her, and she keeps getting increasingly more frustrated when it doesn't work. She's also started to resent me for deciding to move, and from telling her that when my room mate and I have our own place, she won't be welcome there unless she's been sober for at least six months. I don't know how seeing my brother is going to go, it's been a long time, and the last time I saw him (around christmas, I went with my mom to drop off her bribes, and he came outside to see me. He sounds completely different now, and he's gotten taller than me) it was very overwhelming. I'm still going to arrange to see him somehow, and hopefully that will go well. I can't imagine all of the things we'll need to catch up on.

And, lastly, I want to arrange to see my cousins. I only thought to visit them in the past day or so, as they're sort of estranged when it comes to my side of the family. They're my mom's sister's kids, and my mom and my aunt don't speak anymore, so I haven't seen them in over 4 years. The family drama started after a holiday party. My aunt is married to an ugly piece of shit man (and, of course, he's a military guy) who's very controlling over her. He raped my mom at the holiday party his wife threw, and when my mom eventually got the courage to tell my aunt what he did, she didn't believe her and sided with her husband.

My aunt has two sons, my cousins G and R. I'm the oldest child in my family, and up until my little sister was born, the only girl. My cousin G is about a year younger than me, and my cousin R is about 4 years younger. Both my aunt and uncle very, very clearly have a favorite between their children (they both favor R) and even when I was little, I was aware that my cousin G was mistreated, although subconsciously. He had a tendency to get upset and cry so hard he would throw up, and he was easily freaked out by loud noises or quick movements. Although I haven't thought about my cousins much in the past few years, I recently stumbled upon my aunt's instagram, and her most recent picture was of my cousins holding their dog (a present from my grandmother that my uncle took credit for. My family had two puggles who had puppies, and we gifted the sweetest puppy to my cousin R as a birthday present. My aunt has always disliked animals, but both G and R had expressed during a visit that they desperately wanted a pet). I hadn't realized just how big my cousins had gotten, and it made me miss them. Along the way, I started to remember just how bad it used to be for G, and I started to wonder how he's been over the years. My biggest worry is that the whole 'cycle of abuse' thing might happen to him. That he'll become aggressive because that's what he grew up with, but from what I can tell he still seems a lot like he was when he was younger. But, knowing his father, things probably haven't gotten much better. His dad is a very aggressive man, who even hit me once before my mom put a stop to it. I sat too close to R when he was opening his birthday presents, and my uncle grabbed me by my hoodie, dragged me backwards, and slapped me. My mom took him into another room and threw a shit fit, but when I think back on it, it definitely gives some perspective on what that household was like, and why G cried so often.

He's still a minor like I am, but the way I figure, by time I'm fully settled in Florida, he'll be old enough to leave the house for however long he wants, and I think that after giving my cousins my socials and my number, I'm going to let him know that he's always welcome to come visit and stay as long as he needs.

long ass vent over

5 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #315

“can’t breathe to scream / suffocating in this dream / long way down”

Who was your first big crush? I would probably say this guy in high school named Sebastian. We sat beside each other in Art, and I definitely liked him a lot. Man, my freshman-sophomore years honestly involved a handful of crushes before Jason popped into the picture and I lost all romantic interest in everyone else. Where was the first place you drove after you got your license? N/A Is it a blue sky outside right now? No. All North Carolina has known for weeks on end now is rain. We've had very rare sunny days, but for the most part, it's just gray and gross. Was your last breakup a bad one? Nah, I'd say it ended maturely and with a mutual understanding of "why." When was the last time you were surprised, in a pleasant way? Hell if I know. Is there an ice-cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Yeah, like strawberry. What was the last sitcom you watched? No clue. ^ Do you have a favorite character in that sitcom? Why is that character your favorite? N/A What does the last group you joined on Facebook concern? I am 90% sure it was this group I joined that is literally just about cute yet dangerous animals lmao, mostly reptiles and invertebrates. "Misunderstood biteybois and where to befriemd them" or some stupid shit like that. Has there been a spider in your house at any time recently? Not that I've seen, no. Do you like wearing make-up? Not at all. I only like wearing it for pictures and then taking that shit off. ^ If so, how old were you when you first started to wear it? I started consistently wearing it my freshman year of high school. Then some time later I just showed up one day without any, shocked all my friends, and then only wore it when I felt like it. What foods are you craving lately, if any? Nothing, really. What were some of your favorite foods as a child? Chicken nuggets of course, as well as spaghetti, peanut butter sandwiches, just the typical stuff that kids tend to enjoy. When you were younger, did you ever have a friend that your parents hated? No. Have you ever talked in your sleep before? That's very normal for me, especially now that I have nightmares like every goddamn night. What was the last song you heard, that reminded you of someone? Well, not a real someone, but "The Ordinary World" by the Hit House is 110% one of Fetch's soon-to-be themes. What has brought you joy today? Nothing brought me "joy," really. When was the last time you won a prize in a raffle? What was it? I actually recently won an art rafle on deviantART hosted by a truly amazing artist, like I thought I had no chance, and she's going to be drawing Moondust!!!! :'''') What is the next non-essential item that you intend to buy for yourself? I'm still paying the bulk of my tattoo in May. Is there anywhere in your town/city that's rumored to be haunted? Oh, I'm sure. When you were younger, did you ever think that a certain place was haunted? Bitch I still do lmao. What were your school meals like? Did you enjoy them? This really depended on the menu for the day. My school lunches were nowhere near as bad as some people make theirs sound, but most things still weren't great. I think school pizzas are the most notoriously bad. What kind of granola bar did you eat most recently? I had a cashew bar earlier today. Do you have any books on your shelf that you've read multiple times? I never reread books. What did your last post on social media concern? That I personally wrote, something regarding subtle racism still being racism, pretty much. How do you feel about people using graphic images as a scare tactic to promote their beliefs? (i.e.: PETA, abortion…) I have mixed feelings on this. Like sometimes seeing the brutal side of certain things is definitely useful in opening someone's mind to things they don't want to see/think about, but then there's that, too: it can just be so invasive and unexpected, and thus very upsetting and even scarring. I'd say I'm most for the "appropriate" social media route: using censorship that the viewer can decide whether or not to remove. But you obviously can't do that in like, a public protest with a sign, so idk. Which is harder for you: writing creatively or academically? Honestly, both are pretty easy for me. I enjoy writing creatively far more, though. Do you think gender neutral bathrooms are a good idea? I think it's fine to have them as an option. When was the last time you voluntarily went outside of your comfort zone? Just talking about stuff in group therapy recently. Would you ever use a dating site that costs money, like Match.com or eHarmony? Have you known anyone who had good experience with such sites? No, and yes. Do you think it’s fair that people are able to make a reasonable salary and live comfortable lives just by making YouTube videos? Yes? It takes charisma and talent in some area (humor, education, etc.) as well as consistency for it to be a reliable career, and just consider how often you hear about creators burning out. That happens for a reason. Entertainment is a valid job category and should not be seen as an unfair joke. Whether you’re in college or not, do you become fearful about whether or not you’ll find a good job? Story of my life. What is something you can only understand if you've experienced it first hand? Deep heartbreak. Do you think it's a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it's assault? Obviously. Abuse knows no gender, and hitting another person is just that. I do, however, believe in self-defense, also regardless of gender. In terms of a wedding, put these things in order from what would be MOST important to be perfect, to LEAST important... Engagement ring, dress, hair, venue, ceremony, food, pictures, decorations, honeymoon. This requires too much thinking, haha... but I do know the quality of my honeymoon would be most important to me, given that that's personal time with my new spouse and not a public celebration. I feel like what goes on behind closed doors is more important and heartfelt than how you act publicly. Do you have a go-to small talk conversation topic? Probably video games or music, idk. Define "small talk." Does anyone owe you money? Do you owe anyone money? (Besides credit cards) Mom does. She just a few days ago had to borrow $100 for rent. If someone was going to buy you any practical gift (anything except a house or car), what would you choose? It'd be dope as fuck if someone could pay for Venus' next terrarium, but that's a big purchase that I'd have a hard time accepting. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? At least one, but her name is spelled differently. What in your opinion is the best love song ever written? I'm not sure, but I can tell you that "When It's Love" by Van Halen has always been high on the list for me. Was your mother married when she had you? No, actually. I thought she was until my most recent bday, I think. It was just part of a conversation. How old was the first person you kissed? He was a few months into 18. The first person you were in a relationship with, do you still care about them? Of course, he's a sweet guy. We don't talk or anything, but that doesn't mean I don't care about him. Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes. So, what if you married the last person you kissed? That'd be pretty rad. What are you listening to at the moment? "Long Way Down" from the The Evil Within soundtrack. It's funny, like I've loved the game for many years, but I'm now in a serious semi-obsession phase after watching another let's play of it. Have you read the The Hunger Games trilogy? I only read the first book. I loved it, but just never continued. What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? N/A Who is the person you dislike the most? That I personally know, probably a former best friend, oddly enough. Do you text your parents often? If Mom's not home, it's not unusual for us to text. I don't text my dad much because he's not a fan of texting. Do you watch YouTube videos often? Pretty much always. Do you know anyone with celiac disease? Sara, my aunt, and my cousin. Those are the ones I know of, anyway. Do you currently have any alarms set? No. How many cars can fit in your driveway? Barely even two. If someone else is here, they usually just park where the road meets the sidewalk of the cul-de-sac. Do you have the ashes of a family member or a pet? Of my dog Teddy, yes. Have you ever been involved in a car crash? Yes, as a kid. Do you prefer flash or no flash on a camera? Definitely no flash. It's more natural, and especially with people, it obviously prevents red eye. How often do you use hashtags? Just about never. Have you ever had whiplash before? No. Have you ever given another person or an animal a bath before? Pets, yes. I could never bathe another human. Is there a birdbath in your yard? No. Weirdest place you’ve ever had a cramp? Nowhere weird, I think... How many lamps are in the room you’re in? How many are actually turned on? Technically three, if you count my snake's heat lamp. Right now that's the only light that's on. Are there any activities you enjoy doing, but can only do for a short amount of time before you get bored or tired of them? Yeah, reading comes to mind first. Is there anything coming out soon (books, albums, movies, video games) that you're looking forward to? I'm not up-to-date on this stuff at all, not even video games. What is something someone recommended to you that you disliked/hated? I know Girt's recommended me music I haven't been a fan of. We like the same general stuff, but there are specific sub-genres we differ in opinion about. Can you unwrap a Starburst in your mouth? ... There are people who do this to even know in the first place??? What is the last thing you ate? Popcorn. Who is your favorite person to spend time with? Sara. Do you know how to grill a steak? I don't know how to cook, period. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog currently, but Mom is looking for one pretty intently. We don't know the size it'll end up being. Do you like walking places? Absolutely not. I can't walk far at all without my legs starting to scream at me because leading such a sedentary lifestyle led to muscle atrophy in my legs. It's incredibly embarrassing. Are you a fan of bands most people don’t know of? That's not uncommon for me. Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Do you think your voice is higher or lower than average? It's deeper than the average woman's. Do you have a pool? No, but I really, really want one... Given how easily I sweat, I would love to use swimming to strengthen my legs. I could also stop the very moment I feel I need to; it in general sounds like something I could quite easily do. How many times have you been on a plane? Ummm including the trips going back, at least six times. Favorite ice cream flavor? Oh my gooooood, if you haven't tried Ben & Jerry's "phish food"... fucking try that shit. It is innnnnncredible. Do you have a TikTok? Nope. Do you enjoy driving? Fuck no I don't. Your favorite store as a teen? Hot Topic was and still is my fave, ha. Favorite YouTuber? There's this one called Markiplier that I think's pretty cool. How many online accounts do you have? A LOT. My whole life is essentially on the computer, so... .-. Do you tend to always be in some sort of drama? Quite the opposite. Do you collect quarters from every state? No. When was the last time your living room furniture was rearranged? Not since we moved into this place. When you were little did you like watching Cartoon Network, Disney or Nickelodeon more? Disney probably topped Nickelodeon. I didn't watch much CN. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Either my niece or nephew when saying bye. Have you ever seen a magic show? Yes, as a kid. I even had a magician for my bday once. When was the last time you vomited and why? It's been a year or so. It would've been a side effect of starting a certain med that I didn't stay on because it so consistently made me sick. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Either in my bed (I know) or at the dinner table if Nicole is here to eat with us. What time do you usually go to sleep at night? It's typically around 7:30-8:30, occasionally a bit later. I can't believe as a teen, it was my "rule" that I couldn't go to sleep before 10:30 because it was "too early." Nowadays, I can barely imagine regularly staying up that late. Do you avoid using public restrooms? As best as I can. I've seen some nasty shit. What’s your favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip. How basic.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''long way down'' - the evil within ost

3 notes · View notes

kpop-imagines-247 · 4 years

Text

M-My What (Kyuhyun x Fem! Reader)

A/N: As I said in the teaser, this imagine is really close to my heart. I love writing for Kyuhyun. As long as I have been a fan of super junior this man has found a way to slide up my bias list and make his way to the ultimate position. He has been through so much and still manages to put on a smile for us and that is what I appreciate about him.~Zero.

Ps. Mood board is mine please don’t steal.

Date: April 3, 2020

Pairing: Kyuhyun X Fem Reader

word count: 4,737

Warnings: Mentions of dealth, fluff and angst

Y/N P.O.V

Everyone has a guardian angel, I happened to meet mine when I was only seven years old. My aunt and uncle on my father’s side were driving us home from going to see a movie. It was very late at night, so my aunt was asleep in the passenger seat and my uncle was really tired and wasn’t paying attention, he didn’t know that he was driving on the wrong side of the road until a semi truck came speeding down the line that we were in.

He did what any panicked person in this situation would do. He swerved to the left, however on the left side of us wasn’t land or road anymore. It was a deep open body of water. So our car went right into the water and sank straight to the bottom. My uncle woke my aunt up and they quickly got out of the car to try and swim to safety completely forgetting about me in the back seat. The car was filling up with water fast too fast for me to fight against it or get my seat belt loose, so I sat there in the back seat and watched the last seven years of my young life flash before my eyes. I knew then and there that I wasn’t going to make it, I lost all hope.

I start to feel myself lose consciousness, but before I could I see a blinding light fill the water sanken car. Then the next thing I knew I was out of the car and in the sky. I think that now would be a good time to look up. I see a beautiful man with big bright white wings, then I look down and see the ocean below us. “Am I dead?” I ask in a small voice. The man looks down at me with a concerned look “No, but if I didn’t get to you sooner, you would have been.” He says in a clam voice. I couldn’t help it no matter how much I tried to fight it off. I felt the hot tears run down my slightly chubby cheeks, then I started sobbing, burying my head further into the man’s chest.

“Aww princess it is okay. You will be okay now, I am here.”

“Where are we go-going?” I ask slightly hiccuping.

“I am going to take you back to your house, your parents are worried sick about you.”

“What are you? You have very pretty wings.”

“Well thank you! I am your guardian angel here to protect you from early deaths or any other harmful dangers.” He replied

“Oh well thank you for saving me tonight, I think my mommy and daddy would appreciate it.”

“No problem kid, it is my job, when we get to your house I am going to have to leave but-”

“No, No please don't leave me...please.”

“Okay, Okay I promise I won’t, as long as you need me people will see me as a gold winged necklace when I hold your hand. Now try to get some sleep, I will wake you when we get there.”

I am suddenly too tired to talk so all I can manage is a slight nod against my angel’s chest. Some hours later I am woken up by my angel putting me on my feet about a mile or two from my house. He gently grabs my hand and starts guiding me back to my home. I soon see my parents in view so I look up at my angel and he nods down at me and lets go of my hand. I take off towards my mom and dad.

“Y/N, oh my gosh, thank heavens you are okay and alive, we were so worried.” my mom and dad say as they bring me into their tight embrace.

*Y/n is now 8 yrs old*

I still remember that night like is was yesterday even though it was over a year ago, I am now eight years old, if you are wondering my aunt made it out alive but my uncle didn’t make it, he got swept into the deep and fast currents which cause him to drown, sadly his body was never found. Yes I still get to see my angel, he is with me almost 24/7; the only times we are apart is when I am changing, going to the bathroom or in the shower. I don't know anything about him and he knows almost everything about me. Like how I am afraid of dolls, thunderstorms and open bodies of water(it makes me feel like I am reliving the accident).

Right now I am getting ready for a choir and band concert that I’m going to be performing in tonight. I am so nervous what if I mess up or what if I forget the lyrics in front of all of the people that will be there.

“What’s up princess, you look troubled?” The angel asks.

“I am just so nervous, what if I mess up and make a fool of myself in front of every person that will be there.”

“Y/N/N, you are going to do just fine. I have watched all of your practices and you did amazingly. You have a gorgeous voice and you play the F/M/I beautifly so trust me when I say that you are going to do just fine, I mean when have I ever let you down.”

“Okay, you’re right, I got this... let’s go and get this concert over with.” I say walking out of my room, but not before my angel grabbed my hand to guide me.

*Y/N is now 16 yrs old*

My angel started staying home during the day because he wants to give me some freedom. I am not worried about him not being able to get to me fast enough. We did a few tests, he can get to where I am before I can blink. So I am definitely not worried. It has been nearly eight years since the accident and I still don’t know his name, However, I will figure that out as soon as possible.

My day honestly really sucked, I started my period at school, I figured out that my boyfriend of nine months was cheating on me this whole time, I failed a math test that I studied so hard for and was so confident that I was going to pass, I missed the only bus that was going near my house. I now have to walk home, and to top it all off I cracked my phone screen today.

All I want is to get home, a shower, to eat ice cream while watching romantic movies crying my eyes out, and to cuddle with my angel like the old days; when I would have night terrors or like when there was a thunder and lightning storm. By the time I get home it is 5:30. I guess that I am lucky that spring break starts today.

My parents are out of town on a business trip and they will be gone for another whole month and half, so it is just me and the angel who I will find out the name of today. I start the long walk up the stairs, once I finally make it to my room I see my room setup for a movie night with just the person that I wanted to see.

“Oh My Gosh, thank you this is just what I needed.” I said and ran to give him a hug. I didn’t even realize that I was crying until he said something.

“Y/N/N what’s wrong?”

“It has been a really long and crappy day, I am just glad to be home.” I say while sniffling, “ I just realized that you have been protecting me for like eight years but you never told me your name.”

“ I am so sorry that your day has been crappy. I hope that I can make it better! You never asked me for my name, so I assumed that you didn’t want to know what it was.”

“Oh, well can you please tell me what your name is?” I ask shyly feeling stupid for never asking.

“Yeah, my name is Cho Kyuhyun but since you have known me for a long time you can call me Kyu if you want.”

“Well it is nice to finally meet you Kyu.” I say with a smile.

*Age 18*

I am now 18! This means that Kyu doesn’t show up as a necklace anymore to the whole world. He is just invisible to everyone except for me. However it has been like that for two years now. I like it better this way, because I feel more protected knowing that only I know that he is there with me all the time. I have known him for so long that it is sorta hard not to develop a crush on him, I mean he is very handsome and he is a gentleman. I still don’t know much about him. Like his age or how he died but he will tell me that when he is ready. I am not going to pressure that out of him.

In case you are wondering about what has happened the last two years or so, well here is everything my parents got divorced six months before I turned seventeen, I graduated with honors from the high school at the age of seventeen, the guy that I had a crush on for four years ended up being gay and my childhood dog died recently.

Kyuhyun’s P.O.V.

I have known Y/N for a very long time now. I have enjoyed my job as being her guardian angel, sure I have had other people to guard before. However, not one of them was as beautiful, smart, and caring as Y/N is. I think when it is Y/N turn to die, I’ll probably retire but I am not a hundred percent sure yet.

I haven’t checked into headquarters yet today, I probably should do that. I think to myself as I throw on a shirt and teleport to the said place. Once I am in the main room I see Kim Heechul, another guardian.

“Kyuhyun, just the person I was looking for. The boss has requested to see you, like, right now so you better hurry.” Heechul says while looking at me

“Thanks Heechul.” I say as I run to Leeteuk's office.

When I get to an all familiar door I knock twice, I wait until I hear a ‘Come in Kyuhyun.’ I quickly open the door and enter the room.

“Hey boss, you requested to see me, so what’s up?” I ask while shutting the door behind me.

“Kyuhyun, I have some news to tell you. However, I don’t think you are going to like it very much, please, take a seat.” Leeteuk states looking sort of worried.

Doing as he says I take a seat across from his desk, “Okay, I am seated now so what’s up?” I ask again.

“Kyuhyun, I have just been informed by my boss that,” He pauses to take a deep breath “Y/N is to die in two days, I am so so sorry Kyuhyun.” Leeteuk states while looking at me.

I feel my whole world come crashing down, no, no no no not Y/N. Anyone but Y/N. It is not her time, she is only 18. Looking up with tears in my eyes, I just muttered “What? Are you sure?”

“I wish it wasn’t true, I know how much she means to you and how painful this must be. Kyuhyun there is nothing no one can do, the upper boss says that it’s her time. Then it is her time.” Leeteuk replies looking down.

“Can I at least be with her when she dies?” I ask hopefully but already know the answer.

“I am afraid not, I was informed that wasn’t a good idea because you would try to save Y/N.” He replied.

“So, what do you expect me to do? J-just watch the girl I love die?” I ask slightly, raising my voice.

“No. not at all you don’t have to watch. Maybe, wait at the gates for when she does die. Then she has a person that she is comfortable with to greet her. I am so sorry Kyuhyun.” My boss says.

“Leeteuk, I will be back later I-I just need to go and clear my head.” I say while getting up from the chair. Once I teleport back to mine and Y/N’s apartment I fully break down. Looking at the clock I see that Y/N will be home in a few hours. Wiping my tears I start dinner, I have decided that today will be the day that I show Y/N how I died. It is also going to be the day I confess to her. I know it is weird, I am 153 years older than her. However, I am a ghost, so I never age but you can’t blame me. Here pretty soon she will be one too.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

My shift just ended at work; I was working graveyard which is never fun. You have to clean everything at the coffee shop before you can lock up and leave. If you don’t do it right then you get a third of your paycheck cut. The fact that I don’t have a car yet is pretty upsetting, this means that I have to walk about 1 hour to work and 1 hour back from work everyday. If I had a car it would cut the time in half.

Once I get to my apartment, the only things that are on my mind are cuddles from Kyu and a hot shower. I feel relieved when I get my key in the lock to unlock the door. Finally, I have the weekend off. I walk by the kitchen to see Kyu cooking dinner and I must say it smells amazing. I was going to stop and give him a hug but I am wet from the rain and all sweaty because I ran home, I will have to remember my umbrella next time it’s supposed to rain. Silently, I walk to my bedroom to get a towel and pajamas which are just some shorts and a tank top. Then I am off to the bathroom to take a long awaited hot shower.

After my shower I dress in my pajamas and head into the kitchen where I see Kyu setting the table in the dining room. Smiling to myself I go over to help him.

“Hey Kyu, do you want some help?”

“ Oh, umm no thank you Y/N I got it. How was your day at work?” asked Kyu, who seemed a little off.

“It was okay, long but okay I guess, what about you? How was your day?” I ask while looking at him from my seat at the table.

“Umm, about that, We need to talk about some stuff that is very important.” Kyu says while bringing over dinner.

“What’s up Kyu, you know you can talk to me about anything.” I say while scooping up some rice and putting it into my bowl.

Kyu sighs before speaking, “Y/N, I think it is time I showed you how I died, is that okay?”

Surprised by this I almost choke on my bite of rice, “Kyu, if you are ready to show me how you died then I am ready to see. I would love to learn more about you.” I say making eye contact with Kyu from across the table.

Before I can say anything else I see that I’m now in the middle of an alleyway. Looking out I see a man dragging a young girl into the alleyway and he was trying to force himself on her. I was about to yell at him to stop, but I saw a glimpse of Kyuhyun walking by. He must have heard the young girls cry for help because the next thing I know Kyuhyun runs down the alleyway and punches the pervert in the face.

I hear Kyuhyun yell at the young girl to run home and get to safety. She took off in fear while Kyuhyun was making sure that she got to safety. The man happened to get back up and he had a knife, I was crying and screaming at Kyuhyun to watch out, but it was like he couldn’t hear me. The man repeatedly stabbed Kyuhyun in the chest and stomach. When he was satisfied with how many holes he made he just got up and left. I ran over to Kyuhyun’s now lifeless body and cried with his head in my lap.

I closed my eyes and when they opened again I was back at the dining room table. With tears running down my face I look up at Kyuhyun, getting up I run over to him and embrace him in the biggest hug that I can manage.

“Kyuhyun, t-this might make you hate me but I just have to tell you this, I love you and I am very grateful to have you as my guardian angel,” I say while softly crying into his neck.

“Y/N, princess, look at me,” Kyu states while pulling away slightly, when I make eye contact with him he starts talking again. “Y/N, I-I love you too so much but, there is something I have to tell you.”

“Yes, what is it Kyu.” I prepared myself for him to reject me, but I never thought he would say these words to me.

“I was at headquarters today,” He pauses and looks like he is about to burst into tears “And my b-boss told me that uh- he told me that your time has changed and you are now in heaven i-in two days. I am so so sorry.” by the end of his sentence it has hot tears running down his cheeks.

“Hey, hey it is not your fault if it is my time then it is my time,” I say while wiping his tears. “Wi-will you at least be there with me?” I ask.

“ I am afraid not princess. They told me no because they knew that I would try to save you.” He says while looking down.

I gently lift his face, and kiss his cold tear stained cheek, I would kiss his lips but I am going to have to wait until I go up to heaven for that. “It is okay Kyuhyun, tomorrow is my last full day alive so let’s just stay home and cuddle okay?” I ask

“Are you sure that's really what you want to do in your last 24 hours?” He asks looking at me.

“If it means time with you then yes, Kyuhyun being with you makes me happy and on my last day I want to be happy.” I reply.

“Okay baby girl, tomorrow we will just have a movie night and cuddle. Now please eat before your food gets cold.” He states while kissing my forehead once.

After we were finished eating that night we went to bed. The next morning I am awoken by the light going through my blinds, yawning. I look over and see Kyuhyun peacefully sleeping. Smiling to myself I get up and walk to the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair, walking to the kitchen I first go to the coffee pot and press the on button. Then I get the ingredients to start breakfast which would be pancakes and potatoes. I am soon lost in deep thought, I am wondering what my death will be like, will it be as painful as kyuhyun’s? Will I just have a heart attack? Will I die saving someone? Pushing these questions aside I pour myself a cup of hot coffee. When I felt a presence behind me smiling I turned around already knowing who it is.

“Good morning Kyuhyun, did you sleep well?” I ask while pouring Kyu a cup of coffee as well.

“Yes I suppose, what about you?” He asks while taking the coffee out of my hand.

“I slept okay, are you hungry? Breakfast is ready.”

“Oh, yes please.”

After breakfast Kyu and I get a bunch of blankets and build a giant fort in front of the t.v, once we got cuddled up together Kyu asked me this question. “What do you want to watch first?”

“Um let’s watch Y/F/M.” I say while reaching for the remote.

*Later that night*

We were done watching movies and now eating dinner. Kyu decided to make my favorite meal tonight for dinner. I will miss my human life of course, but I am curious to see how my afterlife will be with Kyuhyun. I know for a fact that I am most nervous about dying. I'm not ready to die. There have been so many things in life that I haven’t got the chance to experience yet.

I decided that I should go see my parents tomorrow morning before it is too late. I have a feeling if I don’t go and see them, then I won’t see them for a long time.

*The Next Morning*

I get up and get ready for the day, I make sure to look very presentable to go and meet my parents at the small cafe I worked at. On the ride there I text my mom the address, once I get to the cafe I pay the taxi driver then I text my dad the address. I know that my parents probably won’t react well but it is worth a shot. This will be the last time I will see either of my parents for the rest of their time on Earth.

I go into the cafe and order an Americano and a poppy seed muffin for myself, a Chai tea and blueberry muffin for my mom, and plan black coffee for my dad paired with a chocolate muffin. When my mom walks into the coffee shop when she is within arm's reach I bring her into a tight hug “I love you mom.” I say trying to hold back tears and keep a straight face.

“I love you too princess, why don’t we sit and enjoy the drinks you bought.” my mom says while sitting down.

The bell above the door rings again and my dad walks in, I get up and pull him into a tight hug like I did with my mom. “What are you doing here.” My mom says with distaste in her tone.

“Please mama can you both please just have coffee with me just this once?” I ask with desperation in my tone.

She is about to answer when three men in black ski masks armed with guns run into the small coffee shop. “EVERYONE, GET DOWN ON THE FUCKING GROUND IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!!” One of the men yelled the other goes to the barista running the cash register while the third starts walking towards a family with two little kids,

The one walking towards the family grabs one of the kids and puts the gun to the young girls head. Without thinking I say “Mom, Dad I love you both, never forget that.” I then get up and walk towards the armed robber, “HEY! “ I yell “Give the girl back to her family, she has a full life ahead of her, if you are going to kill anyone, i-it should be me.”

The robber throws the five year old girl to her family and starts walking towards me “LOOK AWAY!!” I yell to the family and my parents as the robber puts the gun to my forehead. “Any last words girl?”

“Ya dad take care of mom while I am gone, I don’t care about your differences do this for me-” “You're taking too long.” The gunman interrupts me then pulls the trigger. I feel pain, I hear my mother start to sob then everything goes pitch black.

It is only painful and pitch black for a short while as a bright white light fills my vision “Baby girl, please come into the light, all your hurting will come to an end.” a familiar voice calls out to me.

I see a hand reach out toward me. With a smile I grab the familiar hand and am greeted with Kyuhyun giving me a sad smile. “Welcome to heaven baby girl.”

“Kyu,” I say while pulling him into a hug and letting the tears flow out of my e/c eyes.

“I know it hurts sweety, Y/n/n I am so proud of you. You died a hero, you saved that little girl.” Kyu says while pulling away and wiping my tears.

“Let’s get you checked in, then you can go see some old family and friends.” Kyu says while pulling me through the giant gold gates.

I look around in awe “It’s beautiful up here.” I say as we walk up to a big desk.

“Hello, you must be Y/n welcome here is a pamphlet about the rules and regulations of heaven.” The nice lady by the name of Rose says.

“Thank you Rose.” I reply while walking with Kyuhyun.

“Y/n/n, you can look at those later, but for now you need rest.” Kyu says while gently guiding me with his hand on my lower back to what I presumed to be his house.

Once he stops in front of a door he says “This is now our shared home, I hope you like how it is decorated. I tried to make it look like the old apartment.” Then he opens the door and allows me to take a look around.

“Kyu it is beautiful,” I say with awe while looking around.

I then pull him into a hug and look into his chocolate brown eyes, smiling. I move one of my hands to the back of his neck playing with the hairs at his nape, while the other hand cradles one of his checks. I feel his hands gently grab my hips and I see him start to lean in with his eyes fluttering shut. With my own eyes closing I slowly leaned in with my head slightly tilted meeting him halfway until finally our lips met.

(Gif not mine found on good old google)

His lips are very soft compared to my slightly chapped ones and I feel eagles flying in my stomach and see fireworks behind my closed eyelids. I guess what I am trying to say is this is by far the best kiss I have ever been a part of. I slowly pull away not for the need of oxygen no, we are dead and no longer need it but because I feel the need to speak.

“Okay two things,” I slightly giggle, “one this was the best kiss, I have ever been a part of and two I love you so much.” I say while gently sliding my thumb against his cheek.

“I have three things to say as well: one I feel the exact same way, two what do you want to do now that you have infinite peace, and three will you be mine forever.” He states while moving some stray hair out of my face and behind my ear.

“I think after I get the hang of everything around here, I want to be a guardian like you. Of course I will be yours for as long as you’ll have me.” I say while hugging him again.

When I was seven, I was so afraid to die. However, now that I have reached my time and died the way I was destined to, I realized that my life was so beautiful and I was so blessed to have a guardian like Kyuhyun. My after life will also be just as beautiful with Kyuhyun by my side.

32 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

926

Significant other/crush survey

–CURRENT–

Something that you have in common: We’re working towards getting to pretty much the same industry, we’re both competitive as fuck and hate losing, we love dogs though she’s way better at disciplining them, and we love our coffee.

Are they a friend or just an acquaintance? She’s already my girlfriend. But she’s also my best friend.

Do you make an effort to talk to them or wait for them to talk to you? It works both ways, but generally I’m more talkative and I like sharing stories so I initiate conversations more often. Sometimes it can be annoying when I feel like she never starts a convo first, but I’ve come to understand that she’s not really the texting/IM-ing type.

What happens when you make eye contact? I mean, we’re always making eye contact lol but if we do it accidentally, we usually give each other a smile.

How often to you get to see this person? I used to see her 2-3 times a week when we were still in school since I drove and it was easy to see her whenever I wanted and could. Now that we’re maneuvering ~employment~ and ~being an adult~ in the middle of Covid, we haven’t figured out our arrangement yet and how often we could see each other. At the moment, it’s 1-2 times a month.

What bothers you the most about this person? She can get a little selfish and fail to consider my emotions and vulnerability if a situation personally doesn’t bother her. I’ve asked her to work on it and I’ve seen progress here and there, but when it comes down to it she simply tends to be individualistic and likes to look out for herself. Those are not bad things per se, it’s just that they sometimes end up affecting me.

Who is usually the first to flirt? She is, but that’s saying a lot as we aren’t too much of the flirting type. Maybe flirt is the wrong word...I’d say she’s the first to act cheekily.

–MEMORIES–

How, when, and where did you meet? i’ve known her for the last 18 years but did not formally meet her until 2011. She had a friend, I had a friend, and those friends were friends so they introduced us to each other and it turned out that it was the two of us who hit it off really well and it was the quickest I’ve gained a best frend. We had attended the same school since kindergarten and we became friends when we became classmates for the first time in 7th grade.

What did you first talk about? I have no idea what our first encounter covered anymore, but I can tell you that what gave me the sign that she was going to be my best friend was when she watched Johnny English Reborn one weekend and came back to school the next Monday a complete fangirl for Gillian Anderson. As someone who was in my own fandoms that time I needed someone with the same energy and humor, and she showed up at exactly the right moment.

What is the best thing they have done for you? Saved my life. Literally. I’ve had more lows than highs and she saw them all through with me every single time, whether it was being by my side when I needed to cry in my car for a whole evening or helping me make a Powerpoint presentation due the next day when my entire group was not helping me.

When was the last time you saw them? The other day.

Last thing you said to them? I apologized for the late reply and explained that I was having dinner.

Last thing they said to you? She just replied to that ^ saying not to worry.

What originally caught your eye? I started finding her really pretty in junior year and loved that her mind was always racing with thoughts to share and stories to tell me. I can’t exactly pinpoint the moment when I started *liking* her though; it happened all so very suddenly.

What was your first impression? When I first met her 9 years ago I could hardly believe she’d want to meet me and eat lunch with me and stuff because she was a popular girl, very well-liked and got along with everybody; I was virtually unknown throughout grade school and never had friendships that lasted. It was very weird to suddenly be talking to her since she just seemed way out of my league but when I realized she’s just as weird and nerdy and goofy as I was and not at all like the mean popular girls we had, I immediately took a liking to her.

What was their first impression of you? No clue and she’d probably have no clue either even if you asked her. She’s very forgetful.

Were you ever previously involved with them? Yeah we went out in 2014 but broke up then got back together.

What is your most memorable moment with this person? I have so many. I can probably give you one for each year that we’ve been friends/girlfriends. Off the top of my head, I’d go with the fact that my first out-of-town trip alone was with her, when we celebrated my 20th birthday in Nasugbu and Tagaytay.

–IN YOUR OPINION–

What is their best physical feature? I’d say her smile is my favorite, but I love so many features of her too like her eyes, dimples, hair, and the fact that I can squeeze her arms any time I want as she has a bit of chub :)

Personality trait? She cares so deeply about the people who mean a lot to her and would be very protective of them. Also, she’s super ambitious and isn’t one to shy away from a new or daring task.

Describe this person in three words: Hates to lose.

What are they like in comparison to your last crush? The closest thing I have to a ‘last crush’ is Andi, but tbh I didn’t develop much of a relationship with her since she migrated just a year after we became friends. I can hardly remember the conversations we had either...personality-wise, I’d say Andi’s a little aloof (at least back then) and shy; she avoided me when we first encountered each other. Gab’s amiable and will be nice to everyone immediately.

What are they like in comparison to the last person you dated? The last two relationships I’ve had were/are with Gab, and I wasn’t seeing anyone before her.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (Physical Appearance): 38

On a scale of 1 to 10 How much do you like them? 50

On a scale of 1 to 10 How much do you think they like you? Hahaha I hope it’s a 10.

–THE FACTS–

How much older/younger are they than you? She’s younger by like a month and a half. Really no difference at all.

How much taller/shorter are they than you? She’s a few centimeters taller, not a dramatic difference but enough for it to be noticeable.

Where are they from? She’s from the same city but we live on opposite ends, so it takes around 30-45 minutes to get to her place depending on how fast I’m driving ha.

What do they look like? She’s around 5′3″, the prettiest wavy hair, big eyes, chubby cheeks, and she got a bit of West Asian genes due to her Turkish blood. 9 out of 10 times she gets asked if she’s Indian.

Describe their smile: It’s very warm and friendly. I automatically smile when I see it.

What about their friends? Her friends and I have different personalities so we don’t get to hang much, but Kris and Marts are very nice and have always been to me.

Is this person talented/skilled? Very. Not being biased but I’ve noticed that she’s ended up being skilled enough at anything she tries, whether it’s singing, playing a sport, handling a balisong, etc. She’s good at everything and it makes me kinda annoyed sometimes hahaha, because I’m so clumsy and only good at like three things.

Popular/well-known? S u p e r. She will light up any room she enters and people just naturally flock to her. She’s very sociable and knows how to handle all kinds of people and make them feel at ease. I’m the complete antithesis of her lol.

What school do they go to? We went to the same school from kindergarten to high school, then for university she went to a school a couple of cities away from mine.

What kind of car do they drive? I can’t remember exactly even though I just saw it the other day skskkssk it’s either a Honda Civic or a Toyota Vios.

What kind of clothes do they wear? Sometimes she’ll put her rich aunt vibes out and wear nice flowy printed dresses or blouses. But she mostly dresses casually; a graphic tee or polo shirt with high-waisted denim jeans do it for her.

When is their birthday? June 5th.

–RANDOM–

How many people do you know with their first name? Lots. It’s a common name.

What is one thing they do that you don’t like? Again, her tendency to unconsciously shut down my feelings.

–THE FUTURE–

How long do you think you’ll like this person? When I like/love a person I never think about when I hope to stop that action... as long as she doesn’t do anything that breaks my trust or hurts me beyond repair, I’m happy to stick with her.

What would you do if they asked you out right now? I’d say there’s still a curfew and we can get arrested ha, but we can try the next day.

What do you want to happen next? I just want the journey to be smooth. We’re in a different chapter now and we’re no longer just college kids with safety nets and we’ve had more frequent serious conversations about our priorities, commitment, and our relationship in the long run. Most recently we agreed that the relationship mustn’t get in the way of our personal goals, especially career-wise; and that we’ll always have each other’s support in whatever we do and achieve.

#survey #surveys

3 notes · View notes

beanenigma · 5 years

Text

Having step-parents - a writing guide on new families - part 2

Cinderella’s evil stepmother? Having a new mom? Which one really is it? What about a stepfather? Are they always as bad as they sound in media?

Hi, I’m Isabella and last week I told you about my nine half and step siblings. You can find it HERE. That guide was getting pretty long, so I decided to break it into at least two parts. So today, I’m talking about step-parents. My credentials is I had 6 step-parents along the way.

Still, as I said in the previous part of the guide, I want to give a disclaimer that this is based on my particular experiences (and my siblings’) and it doesn’t pose the absolute truth - but it’s still more real than what I normally see around.

Getting a new step-parent is a very interesting process. There is a myriad of aspects that can influence how this experience is going to go: how old you are, how well all of the parts handled the previous divorce (mother, father, child), if said stepparent was involved in some way in the aforementioned divorce, how mature are all of the parts, how willing the stepparent is to accomodate for you, etc. I’m going to try to go over all of the parts, focusing on the roots of this experience, hoping it can be useful in your writings.

Mommy? Daddy?

How your character calls their step-parent is really a matter of how they feel about their step-parent and when they met said step-parent.

I always feel like it’s so weird characters in books and movies call their step-parents coldly by their names, even if they met these people when they were children.

In the distant times of 2002, when I was about 5 years old, my dad introduced me to his friend. At the time, he told me to call her aunty Lena.

Aunty Lena became my step mother months later. She was my darling companion for the next 6 years. She gave birth to my sister and she made sure her two older daughters were nice to me. And I loved her like another mother. I kept calling her Aunty Lena, though, and I still did even when she divorced my dad. Because that’s how she was introduced to me, and it sounded like someone who was family. Because I grew up with her.

Around the same time, mom started dating Luiz, who she introduced to me as Uncle Lu and I later started calling Uncle Lulu (including in front of his employees, which embarrassed him). He would come to live in our house, meaning he would be as close as anyone could be. I never thought of him a new father like I thought of Lena, mostly because I thought him to be sort if weird and uptight. My mom told him this, which made him loosen up which made him ever weirder, but sort of endearing, because I knew he was actually trying to impress me by being more casual. I still call him uncle to this day.

HOWEVER, later, in the cringy times of 2010, when I was around 12, my dad introduced me to Melissa, who had become my stepmother just recently. Despite loving her two boys - and later my sister - for the next 6 years, I tried to call her anything other than her name. I tried nicknames, but it never felt natural. My middle sister (Aunty Lena’s daughter) had more success in this area.

The reason for that is because our new stepmom would pick at any detail she could and continuously sabotage our attempts to feel at home on her house. She never antagonized us directly, but in several occasions it became clear she was competing with us for our dad’s attention.

Alternatively, I frankly don’t remember when my mom introduced Eddie into our lives, but I’ve been calling him by the nickname from the start. Not having any other children, he walked into our family with open arms. He pampers me and is always getting me stuff and taking me places. I’m not sure I’d call him a new dad - because out of the two of us, I’m the responsible adult - but he surely is my family now.

Finally, just last year, when I was 20, dad introduced the three of us to my new stepmother, who I have no problem calling by her nickname and that was super kind on accommodating the three of us in her life.

So as you can see, how your character refers to their step parent depends on a variety of factors, and it’s up to you to choose how it goes in your story.

Previous divorces

After a couple of divorces, things start to get hairy. Children miss their parents, resent the new step ones, have to addapt to new routines, to seeing their parents less, learn how to deal with this new set of circumstances, including new siblings, new houses, new people. But parents also have messy business going on inside their noggings.

Sometimes, your current step parent was unvolved in the previous one’s abandonment. When you’re a kid, that hardly matter because people won’t tell you anything and even if they do, you don’t understand what it means. When you’re older, there are decisions to be made. If you’ll take a stand and chose one of the person’s side.

Previously, I always took my father and mother’s sides. I regret that decision only once in my life, but what’s done it’s done and I know I did the best I could at the time. Your character will be under a lot of pressure from emotional change. He won’t always make the best or most logical choices. But just know that supporting their step-parents when their parents frick up is an option and it should be considered.

In other times, divorcees might see themselves getting involved with their children’s new siblings that have nothing to do with them. My step mother’s ex-husband grew to really like my youngest sister, for example. These new kinds of families get real complicated really quickly. And taking advantage of that would be a great idea and I’d love to read something like that.

Maturity

Some people are not ready for the responsibility of receiving a sad child of divorcees into their homes. Some people are not used to a reality where not all children are shared and attention from their betrothed needs to be divided. Or they’re not mature to divide how they feel about their spouse about how they feel about their children or their spouse’s children.

This section is here because of one of my stepmothers. She frequently competed with me and my sister for my father’s attention, frequently invented plots we it our mother’s would plan against her and her daughter, and one time even vandalized one of my books because she was mad at me. All the while, trying to make me and my middle sister feel bad about not liking her. When my dad divorced her, she constantly tried to guilty my sister (her daughter) into pitying her and spy in my dad - which my super smart 7 year old of a sister refused and told her to get lost.

She was everything that media said she would be. But when I think of her, I’m not angry at her. I never did anything to antagonize her when they were still together. Because I pity her. She’s not evil, she’s not a bad person. She’s just immature and we all knew it. Out of my six experiences, this was the only truly bad one.

But also, no one is obligated to accept this treatment. At one point, I told my dad I loved him and my sisters, but that from that day forward I would not go to this woman’s house again. I was mature enough, at around 18, to separate what I felt about my dad and sister from what I felt about this woman. And to feel confident in my dad’s love for me to tell him I wasn’t comfortable with this in a non-violent way. And I had the luck that my dad did the same and eventually chose me. Once again, this is not a choice that worked for me and it’s not one everyone can make.

Certainly it would make things interesting. Want examples? Instead of killing parents, try a hard divorce. Try someone choosing themselves over feeling bad at a house. It doesn’t have to be traumatic to work or feel realistic.

Accommodation

The main reason for me to love some of the step-parents that I had is because they accommodated me in their lives, in their homes. Like Aunty Lena, who gave me a bed and closet space in her house. Like Uncle Lulu, who got over his distaste for dogs because I loved them so much and wanted one.

Again about my stepnightmare, she would never have a bed for us at our house and refuse to give us closet space. She’d put down matresses for us and they had to be at their daughter’s room and nowhere else we wanted to choose. These were things that at the time didn’t seem like a big deal - we were hardly ever there - but when comparing to the way Aunty Lena treated me, it was clear that something was wrong.

And this is a major thing I think good step-parents do and it breaks my heart in fiction when it goes under appreaciated. Because it’s no easy feat to open your heart and house to a little person who is literally the product of a love that came before you. And to do it graciously, treat them as your own and help provide for them is such a great effort that I would love to see it praised more.

My sister’s grandmother and my ex-ex-stepmother’s sister

Getting new step parents doesn’t stop at having step and half siblings. It means that you have a whole new step family. Step grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and everything else.

It gets confusing so easily when telling stories. I’ve grown accustomed to asking people if they want the short version of the long version. If it’s the short version, I say “an old lady did this when I was at their house”. If they agree to the longer version (and they normally do), I say my sister’s grandmother was a german old lady who would make pickles and plant flowers. They ask why is she not my grandmother too, and then I explain the whole three divorces thing.

This would very much vary from person to person: how easily they get attached to people, if they live with the new family, if they’re welcomed by the new family. In wife #2’s family, all of the aunties and uncles were my a uncles and aunties because I was still a child. Their mother, however, wasn’t my grandmother. She was Mrs. Paula, because I didn’t feel like she felt like I was her grandchild.

In angry lady’s house, all of her siblings I called by name - because I was older by then and I didn’t feel like they wanted me in the family ( just like said wife). HOWEVER, gossip I heard points that these people were the ones who constantly told this woman off for being rude to me and my sisters and wanted us to stay around. Their children, my sister’s cousins, I love them to death - and I recently found they still love me too.

So take into consideration all of the family mess that can happen. In a post-apocalyptic environment, for example, I would go looking for some of those people. Just imagine someone trying to leave a resistance for your lost sister’s cousin. The leader doesn’t understand: “this person isn’t even your family”, but they don’t know.

You never know until you’re in it.

As I said before, this is a very short guide and it could never encompass the myriad of experiences that compose new types of families, but I did my best. If you feel unsure about any step-situations in your story, shoot me an ask. Also if you have any suggestions on topics you’d like to hear about for your writing.

And again, I’d really really appreciate any adition you can make with your own experiences.

Happy writing!

#writing advice #writing tips #writing #writer #writers #writing guide #writeblr #writing inspiration #writers on tumblr

10 notes · View notes

anicegaykid · 6 years

Text

who dis?

#firstpost seems more daunting than it needs to be. Got myself all creative blocked up so here is a little diddy to get to know me better..

Are you named after anyone?

I am actually named after Jessica Wakefield from Sweet Valley High

When was the last time you cried?

tbh, I tend to flip from emotionless to SUPER emotional like 0-60. Sometimes no response, sometimes (like this afternoon) I see a beautiful pond surrounded in nature, being natural and beautiful, water sparkling in the sunshine and the tears just roll.

Do you have kids? If no, how many do you want?

No kids atm, but a couple kiddos would be nice in the near future

If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?

..like.. what.. ? am I just like a duplicate of me? Like am I the same person I am now and would I be friends with someone JUST like me? Or am I someone else? Who am I? Like, I enjoy spending time on my own?

Bottom line, I like me.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

100%

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

eyes, smile, lips, face bone structure

What is your eye color?

blue, sometimes they get a little grey

Scary movie or happy endings?

BOTH.

Favorite smells?

Citrus, patchouli, cut grass, peaches and strawberries

Do you have any special talents?

Talents include: fantastic with horses, very good dog mom, I can cook frozen pizzas to perfection -- if I don’t get distracted, designing queer tees, i can roll a pretty decent j, solid problem solver, got some wit and can be funny.

Where were you born?

Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, Canada

What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in it?

Leo; I mean it IS surprisingly accurate like all the time.

What are your hobbies?

I am kind of in between hobbies right now.. I dabble in some things. I go to the gym like more than average, but I would like to go more - said everyone ever. I’d like to hike more, camp more, build more things out of pallets, you know.. the usual

Do you have any siblings?

I have a 21 year old brother and a 14 year old sister.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Life is pretty great tbh, I’d like to continue being happy with my little fam

Who was your first best friend?

My first best friend would have to be my cousin, Brittany. Like a sister.

How tall are you?

5′6″

What is the least favourite thing about yourself?

I wish I was a lot better at expressing how I feel.

Things that still bother me - my wife and I had a discussion about proposals and who would ask who. We landed on me asking her, which I did and am SO happy about, but the reason behind it being that I am so poor at expressing emotions that she was afraid it would affect her confidence in my response.

For a first TMI moment of the blog, I have so much anxiety in my ability to express myself that I can’t even manage to make any “noise” during sex. Doesn’t even matter that I am my most comfortable self with her, STILL struggle. A work in progress for me I guess.

Funniest moment throughout School?

There was a time when we were at a beach party when I was 17, the RCMP showed up to break it up and snag any and all intoxicated minors they could. The tide had recently come in, but where we were was a little dip in the side of the cliff so the path back to the road was water-covered. So someone peeks around the cliff to see the two Mounties wading through the water. This party crew are country-folk and are 100% ready for this situation with a wooden ladder that leads up the side of the cliff into a field close to where all the vehicles are parked. As party-goers are running through the field to cars, someone shouts, “PIT PARTY” and everyone heads towards the local Pit. Along the way someone with a truck steals a round bale from a field and uses it to create the BIGGEST bonfire I’ve ever seen.

How many countries have you visited?

like ~10

What was your favourite/worst subject in High School?

I struggled with math but funny enough my career path has led me to a life in the casino so I do math daily and enjoy it very much!

My favourite courses in High School were Conservation and Agricultural Science.

What is your Favourite drink? Animal? Perfume?

Coke Zero Cherry

Horse

Karma by Lush

What would you (or have you) name your children?

I really like Posy, Daisy, Freddie and Loren

What Sports do you play/Have you played?

I used to Figure Skate, Horseback Ride, Ringette

Who are some of your favourite YouTubers?

I’ve always been a Grace Helbig, Mamrie Hart, Hannah Hart fan

I like Phil DeFranco for news, Pewds for some lulz, love me some Tyler Oakley, Whitney Simmons and Chloe Ting to work the booty, Vox for learning, FunForLouis has some BEAUTIFUL imagery and plays to the traveler side of me and I recently discovered Will Smith’s channel and cannot get enough!

How many Girlfriends/Boyfriends have you had?

I have had an unsettling amount of bfs for a lesbian, but 2 of them really stand out as being genuinely decent guys and I would still hang out with, platonically, to this day.

I have had a grand total of 4 gfs, I married the fourth bc I got LUCKY AS HECK!

Favourite memory from childhood?

The day I got my first puppy.

One time I was gifted a horse for Christmas bc my Dad felt so bad that I had to have my first pony put down earlier that year.

I also was old enough to remember both my siblings being born!

How would you describe your fashion sense?

tom boy hyper femme

What phone do you have? (iOS v Android?)

iPhone6s

Tell us one of your bad habits!

I bite my nails and chew my cuticles

3 things that upset you?

inequality

excessive force

did I say inequality?

3 things that make you happy?

Olivia

My animals

family

How is your relationship with parents?

My Mom is one of my best friends in this world! My Dad is an odd case, he struggles with my sexuality, I understand that it is because of where and when he grew up, he is never outwardly rude or mean to me, he’s a quiet country guy, he was at our wedding, he gave me away with my Mom, he’s kind to Olivia, he’s kind to me, he doesn’t understand but recognizes that it is real. I love my Dad, I really do. I’m proud of my Mom for educating him and ensuring that he is present and polite. I get frustrated from time to time and I have cried a lot of tears about it. Our relationship can be strange but at the same time hasn’t changed. He’s been a great Dad and he’ll be a fantastic Grampy. I have to check myself because there are people who are much worse off than me. I get jealous of Olivia sometimes because her Dad is so sweet to her and treats me like a daughter so easily, but my Dad has never been the soft spoken lovey type. We’ve hugged twice in my life. One of them was when I was leaving for England with a one way ticket and no foreseeable return plans and one was when he was jokingly blocking my path and I used it as a disarming mechanism to scoot through.

What’s on your mind?

All I can think about today is the fact that I became an aunt at 5AM this morning and I’m going to see his later this afternoon. I SO excited!

What’s your talent?

troubleshooting queen.

naturally creative to my own surprise.

One word that describes you?

patient

What’s your favourite quotes?

No Pride for some of us without liberation for all of us . Marsha P Johnson

We way too fly to partake in all this hate, we out here vibin’ . Ariana Grande

Any pets?

4 dogs:

Finnley - Great PyreneesXAustralian Shepard

Effie - Border CollieX

Shiro - DacshundXMiniature Australian Shepard

Moose - Great PyreneesXFinnley

2 Cats:

Priya - long haired tabby, kinda sorta Ragdoll’esque

Punkin - short haired orange tabby with a poofy tail

2 Beta Fishies:

King Push & Todd

What is the farthest you’ve been from home?

I lived in England for 2 years & travelled Europe for a month

Are you an extrovert or introvert?

I think TECHNICALLY an introvert? I can be v extroverted but I really need time to recharge. Recharging for me is being home with my comforts. My wifey, doggos, snacks and Netflix.

Are you left or right handed?

Right hander

Do you consider yourself a good cook?

Like.. sort of? I don’t cook much but when I do I always surprise myself with how well I do lol

Does your name have a special meaning?

It means my Mother was 18 when she had me and REALLY liked Sweet Valley High

If money were no object what would you get for your next birthday?

2 weeks away from home/work, road trip to Halifax for the fertility clinic, get started on a baby and then fly off to one of those tropical cabins on the water.

If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

I would love to have a few homes! A winter getaway BC. A condo in Halifax, NS and a cute little hobby farm here in PEI in some rolling hills somewhere in between Kensington and Charlottetown.

What’s your favourite thing to have for breakfast?

I love chocolate chip waffles/pancakes, French style pastry breakfast, and when I’m feeling fab, some eggs benny on smoked salmon with a couple mimosas on the side.

What’s your favourite gadget?

I just got a Fitbit so thats been pretty exciting, aside from that, my phone is on me at like all times.

What’s your longest relationship so far?

My current one. We’re about to hit 4 years together, married for a little over a month.

#blog #firstblogpost #me #gettoknowme #photoset

1 note · View note

visionarylee · 6 years

Text

Raised by Broken Women

It’s a topic that we rarely, if ever, discuss; Broken souls having children only for those children to be shattered souls themselves. Because I know that millions experience this, I want to share my story in order to save a life or even change one. If that means my story goes public, well I hope something good comes from it.

My mother comes from a neglected, unloving home where her father was in and out of the home, and her mother saw her as a stain on a pearly white wall. She didn’t grow up surrounded by love. Embraced. Held. She would tell me stories as I aged about her life and my grandmother, the grandmother I saw as an angel that guarded me from the darkness that was my mother. Her conclusion was that my grandma was a broken woman herself-shattered by not only the times she lived in, but by her husband, a man who was in and out of the house leaving her with six children to raise alone only to have another child by a different woman. This love child would become friends with her siblings without her identity being known until it was...well...known.

There are many things I can mention about my mother’s life. The one that stands out the most is that my mother is an addict; sober, but what stands out from that is that it was her younger sister who was her “drug dealer”. Ironically, her sister gloats about being the favorite of my grandmother. I know this because she did. If you ask, she will tell you she had a great childhood. Not so much for the other five.

My mother, the shattered woman she was, decided she wanted a daughter. My father wanted nothing to do with me so she left him and married a man, having his child when I was four. I was young; therefore, I can only remember so much of the good, but the bad, it sticks with me like a repetitive nightmare that shakes you out of your sleep.

When I was in the second grade, my mother rushed into the after-school daycare to pick me up then to my grandparents' house. I’m sitting on the couch, my mom in the chair, my grandparents in the kitchen. Silence. Not even the ticking of a clock. That’s until the phone rings. My mother looks up, eyes distraught as she gazed at her father. He answers, listens, and then looks to her, and I can’t remember his exact words, but I remember the shrieks that escaped my mother’s mouth. The cries. I watched as if she was crumbling into a ball of nothing. My step-father had just shot himself and later died.

That’s when the devil himself intertwined with our lives. My mother was already a shattering piece of glass, but this time, she was just...shattered. Her addiction started, she slept for most of my childhood, which I recently discovered her addiction was Ativan and cocaine, the cocaine coming from her younger sister. The same home she grew up in was now my home, and now she was able to snap her finger, and in mere minutes, I was her.

Neglected, unloved, unbearable, I was now a speck of dirt on a new pair of shoes to her yet she treated my brother like a king and honestly, I’m thankful for that because in my eyes, my brother is royalty. However, with me she crippled me into a sheltered, antisocial, reserved being who just closeted her emotions and resentment. We lived in an emotionless, noiseless home except for the occasional running faucet and laughter coming from our television sets. There were no hugs, no speaking about emotions, rarely any “I love yous”. It was no home. Just a house.

As I grew older, my grandmother would try to tell me something was wrong with my mother. Well, obviously, but I’m a child. How was I supposed to know? What was I supposed to do? I remember my mom walking around our house in a daze as if in a dream with a cigarette in hand. I would try getting her attention, shouting, cussing at her, screaming. Nothing, but that daze of hers. She would finally stumble out of my room, and when she was in her right mind, she would initiate arguments with me as if she fed on them. As if she fed on my misery.

From morning to bedtime, she was asleep on the seemingly comfortable sofa in our living room. I put myself on the bus every morning making sure to lock the door. Tried to keep my unkempt hair tidy as best as a child could. Food? She rarely cooked so we had the choice of cereal, cans of ravioli and spaghetti, or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, which I am eternally grateful for. We had the basics: a roof over our heads, hand-me-down clothes, for the most part electricity and running water. See, my mom would get social security checks in the name of her son due to the loss of his father. We lived off a measly $1000 a month. She would go years without working. How could we survive on just $1000 a month? We couldn’t.

Eight grade comes around. My mother used to pawn off my electronics without asking-even stole money in my older years-so this time she asked and promised me a dog. I was ecstatic! I told her pawn whatever! Soon we went to adopt the being that would alter my life; change its course. A rat terrier I named Casey. A small, 2-month-old baby, and for the first time, I felt loved. I felt wanted. I felt needed. I was finally shown that maybe I mattered. Someone thinks I matter.

I’m finally 18, It’s prom time. I remember thinking maybe this time my mother will be involved in my life. She’ll take me shopping, buy me shoes, do the whole deal, but I should’ve known that the past repeats itself. She only came to one of my basketball games in middle school. Perhaps two. My teacher offered to pay for my basketball pictures because she caught me in the hall crying. My mom decided she didn’t want to miss out on her Ativan, a Bud Light, and sleep the day away. Those were more of a priority. Thankfully my aunt, who I didn’t have to ask, prepared me for two proms. Took me shopping, did my makeup, did my hair. When she told me to take a look in the mirror, I was breathless. This wasn’t me. It couldn’t be me. No unkempt hair, no baggy clothes, no old shoes. I felt like a princess on her way to a ball as cliché as that sounds. I felt beautiful. Confident for the first time.

Before I was off to college, my mother decided to go to rehab-the same facility her brother used. I was happy for my brother’s sake as he was too young to know who and what she was, but my childhood was over. I’m off to college. It was simply too late for me to forgive her.

I became physically sick my sophomore year. It was suggested that I return home for the semester, but I chose to bear the pain than to return to the narcissist who was my mother. Her addiction was gone, but her treatment of me with a city in between us was no different. My mental health was starting to decline because the chronic pain was something a school clinic wasn’t equipped to handle, and I had no insurance. My mother never put me on her insurance when she worked so throughout college I had to endure this mysterious, chronic pain. Eventually I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anxiety and fibromyalgia. My grades slipped, the pain increased. I would miss a month worth of classes. Rather that than return home to my trigger-my mother.

I managed to graduate college somehow, and now I was in the real world. I was sick, no doctor could help me, I couldn’t hold a job, I crashed my car twice within a year. There were times when I just wanted to die. I prayed for God to end my life, but Baby Casey. Who would take care of him like I did? Anytime suicide popped into my mind, I remembered Casey needed me, and that was enough for me to go on for another day.

But the worst had finally debuted. May I add on time. I knew Casey was sick for years. He had a bad heart and was getting sick and sicker by the months. The love of my life, my guardian angel. He didn’t have much time. I was on vacation for the week when my brother texts me that something was wrong with Casey. I come home, and he looks awful, bloated, but he had always looked like this if his body had too much fluid in it. I gave him his daily medicine, thinking I’ve seen this a hundred times. He’s fine...The next day what I thought were seizures were not seizures. Cardiac arrest. He died. It took weeks for me to comprehend that he was really gone. I would come home and shout for him, be at work thinking I needed to hurry home to walk him only to remember...

I fell into the deepest depression that I had experienced. As I type this, I’m still experiencing it. Since December I feel no emotion. No happiness, no sadness, no motivation, no anger. Nothing. I knew I needed help, and I went to my mother. What a mistake. She couldn’t have cared any less, calling me miserable, depressing, and pathetic yet there were times she’d texted or called me crying about a man breaking her heart. Once I had to leave work and take an extended lunch break because she was so distraught on the phone and indubitably intoxicated. I left my job to comfort her over a man. She’s in tears, stating she wanted to call her drug dealer. I stayed with her for an hour to calm her down. I even took her to Miami to get her mind off of him and my brother, who needed a car and was depending on my mother for that.

Time passes, and I lose my job. I’m about to lose my car, my apartment, my belongings. I’ve already lost my mind. To protect myself from her as I am in this bottomless pit that has no exit sign, I isolated myself. What does my mother do? What a broken woman who despises her daughter would do. She leaves voicemails saying if I starve myself to death or hurt myself, she’d be sad for a little while, but REMEMBER, “it’s not my fault. You’re an adult. You make your own decisions. You're not going to kill me!" I hadn’t talked to her in weeks, and she knowing how fragile my mental state was says this. She goes on to say she never wanted to live with me, but since I don’t have a job “I GUESS you can come live with me.” She rescinded the invite.

That is my mother. The mother who purposely harms me. The mother who compulsively lies to the family about me, who then turns around and degrades me. For example, I visited my grandma, who lives with my aunt and her children, to ask for assistance. My 23-year-old cousin verbally attacks me calling me pathetic, looking down at me as if I was some stranger begging for change. As if she is not in nursing school, although lacks compassion for the career. I could see the emptiness in her eyes as she persistently attacked me even after I apologized. Just pure boredom. As if she herself didn’t ask her parents for help when she moved in with them with a man and child. As if she didn’t turn a blind eye when her brother borrowed $500 from our grandmother with no intention of paying her back as he continues traveling. This is the grandma who is my pillar. The damage my mother has done is irreversible. This is the woman who gave birth to me.

She is a woman with no remorse. No empathy. Shows no kindness to me. There have been no apologies. Ever. Even while I was reaching out for help, she blocked me from communication unconcerned about my well-being. She reserves that for my brother, who is delighted to be her favorite yet considers him dangerous and threatening afraid to sleep with her door open if he is present. This is why I can longer be anywhere near the shattered woman who gave birth to the shattered girl.

It is a never-ending cycle in some families. Broken people growing up in neglected, unloving homes only to have children and replicate that same environment, picking their favorites as they build and decorate.

Although I thought it was too late for me, I take any opportunity I can get to heal. I jog, I write to producers, literary agents, and submit profiles to talent agents. I promote my screenplays, I continue to write, read and watch films when my depression doesn't hinder my concentration or my anxiety doesn't send me into heart attack mode. I am posting this with the hope that others will read this and not only end this horrendous cycle but heal themselves. Isolate yourself if you must. If you can relate to this even just a little, I want you to know that you are not alone.

Broken people give birth to broken children, and it’s time to end it.

Written by Lee

#depression #depressed #family #depressing #narcissistic #narcissism #anxiety #suicide ideation #depressing blog #blog #family blog #broken families #mental illness #mental health #depressing thoughts

4 notes · View notes

justira · 6 years

Text

question thing

Decided to answer a bunch of things I've been tagged in over the past couple months!

Tagged by @mathemayjicks

This one is all about picking favourites and I am TERRIBLE at that so just... yeah... bear with me...

what’s your favourite song(s) to sing/hum?

Oh lord can I even answer this? What happens with me is I will latch on to one random song and play it for several days straight (and I do mean all day every day, literally; the actual type of literally, not the figurative one) and hum/sing it all the time. But then I get that song out of my system and a new one gets stuck in my head. There's not really any song that's a perennial favourite. This week I'm listening to video game music a lot, which is definitely very hummable and great for getting shit done because my brain hears it and is tricked into thinking it is time to FOCUS UP. I actually made the soundtrack public since some friends asked about wanting to listen to it also. (It's called "bastion" because it started life as a bunch of Bastion tracks but then because more general.)

what are your favourite flower/tree/plant (all 3 or whatever you have an answer to)

SORREL. I LOVE SORREL. It is the most delicious thing on god's green earth and I would eat pounds of it at a time if someone would just give me that much sorrel (please give me that much sorrel why does no one sell it)

favourite colour(s)?

Purple! I even think it goes great with green (hello, Piccolo looks great), so @mathemayjicks and I are gonna have a fight about this.

what do you always doodle (if you ever do)?

Faces, especially eyes. Sometimes hands. But it's at least 50% eyes.

how do you take your coffee/tea? If you don’t like those what’s your fav warm drink?

I can't drink coffee but I do like just about any plain tea. Sometimes I put sugar in black tea. I've never tried tea with milk but-- OH. OH OH OH. I found a Japanese crepe place recently and they also serve fun teas and they have this weird (?) green tea with salted cheese? Fluffy creamy salted cheese that floats on top and you drink the tea through it and it catches some cheese flavour and sometimes bits of the actual cheese? I had no idea such a thing existed but honestly it is probably my fave way to drink tea now.

favourite candle scent?

I like any that don't involve cinnamon!

sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise, definitely! I'm crepuscular generally and love both mornings and evenings, but I especially enjoy being up before the sun and having that quiet time to myself. Sunset tends to have more people and also everyone is projecting "time to wind down" all around me which is kind of a downer. Sunrise = productive! Ahead of the game!

what perfume do you wear if any?

Dislike. The autism means I have a hard time putting smells out of my mind, so I don't like it when *I* smell. It's super distracting. Scented candles are okay because I can choose to light them and put them out, but scent that is around me all day is just nope. I do like noting what other people smell like though, as long as I'm not spending hours near someone wearing noticeable scent.

what’s your go to dance move when you’re alone?

I love to dance but I am also mortifyingly bad at it and the audience of me, myself, and I is plenty for me to get embarrassed in front of so I just. Do not dance when I'm alone. It's not worth it. At least if I'm with other people I can coast on their energy.

favourite quote?

I'll miss the sea, but a person needs new experiences. They jar something deep inside, allowing him to grow. Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken. -- Duke Leto Atreides, Dune (1984 film)

I've never seen this movie, but I read the book and looked up trivia about the film and ran across this quote. That happened when I was... I must have been 10-11 or so (a good age to read Dune hahaha uhhhh) and it's stuck with me ever since.

favourite self care thing(s) or routine(s)?

Sticking my feet under warm/hot running water. Running water specifically, not still water. I will often run the shower and put just my feet in it while I read or do stuff on my laptop.

fuzzy socks or house slippers?

Def barefoot. Socks are the devil. I do have a set of USB heated narwhal slippers though that I got as a gift.

what colour are your eyes?

Brown.

what’s your favourite eye colour on others?

No opinion! Eyes are just cool.

favourite season? why?

Early autumn or middle of spring. I hate cold and I hate hot but I don't mind rain or cloudiness, so those times of year are perfect for me.

cheek, neck or nose kisses?

Neck. Definitely neck.

what does your happy place look like?

Don't really... have one? >.>

favourite breed of dog?

Can't name ONE but can name several? I generally love huge working dogs, so probably top of that list is stuff like Bernese Mountain Dog or Newfoundlands or Malamutes or German Shepherds. I own a corgi so obvs I like those also, but basically because they are large dogs with short legs.

do you ever want to be married? If so what colours would you pick for your wedding theme?

I dislike the institution of marriage the way it's done these days. There's always the hetero marriage standard problem, but it goes even deeper than that for me. Anyone should be able to form unions with one or more of any other persons, that's a given, but I mean stuff like... I am skeeved out by the idea of the government being all up in my personal relationships. And if the government wants to do that for purposes of investing in the raising of children, then the civil benefits that go with marriage should be extended to literally any people who want to raise kids, alone or together. So like if a kid's aunt wants to raise that kid together with the kid's grandma, then they should get the same benefits as a hetero married couple does right now.

All that said I did end up marrying my partner of 13 years 12 years into the relationship because of Trump. Our "wedding" had only me, my partner, @sevdrag, and her partner at it. It “took place” at a bar and there was no judge or priest, because we got a self-uniting license so all we had to do was sign the paper with two witnesses present to declare ourselves married and that was it. Now we can share health insurance. Yaaaaaay.

silk or lace?

Silk! I really appreciate the craftsmanship behind lace though.

favourite weather?

Overcast, mid-high 60F (18-19C). Maybe with some mist or that kind of extremely light precipitation that I call water "sifting" down.

I tag @solosvejs!

#asks #gpoy

2 notes · View notes

littlenancydrewthings · 7 years

Text

#cluecrewquestionnaire

No one tagged me but I want to do it sooooo

rules: copy and paste, answer the questions, tag 10 people to do the same!

1. What is your favorite Nancy Drew game and why?

ASH 5ever, for reasons I’ve already subjected you to endless gushing about over the years. SHA, because I’m from/in soulmates with the Southwest (the same part of Arizona, actually) and the game captures it perfectly, and is perfect in every other way. MHM, because you can’t beat a quintessential haunted Victorian, and for nostalgia reasons mentioned below.

2. Have you played all 32 games in the series? If not, which ones haven’t you played? If yes, which one did you play first?

All except the original Secrets Can Kill. My first was MHM in 2001. I’d read some of the books, and I’ve always been intensely obsessed with ghosts and mysteries in general, so the title and cover caught my eye at the store. The screenshots in the fold-out cover with their eerie captions captured my imagination. After that it was all I could think about. I talked about it every day for weeks, until eventually I came home from playing and found it sitting on my bed. We couldn’t afford it and I didn’t really expect to get it, so I was beyond excited. Playing in the dark that night was magical. Now I hunt ghosts in Gettysburg with access to an endless supply of haunted houses, but the Golden Gardenia is my favorite.

3. What is your favorite quote from any character in the series?

“It’ll be brief, painful, and full of garbage, but that’s life, isn’t it?” “It’s good to know you’re keeping the mean streets of Pancake City free from crime!” Everything Alexei says.

4. If you could change the ending to any game, which one would it be (no spoilers, though)?

The Silent Spy would have a satisfying ending that did justice to the deep and complex story it had up until then, instead of the rushed, haphazard nonsense we got.

5. Which game is your least favorite, and why?

MED is possibly the absolute worst, for too many reasons to unpack in a paragraph.

6. Which character is your favorite? Why?

do I even need to say it

7. Which character is your least favorite? Why?

Rick Arlen and Tino Balducci. I’ve had to deal with so many of that brand of sleazebag in real life, they make my blood boil. Not in a good way, like how Toni Scallari and Brenda Carlton are entertaining to interact with while being horribly repugnant.

8. How do you feel about the whole Nancy/Ned vs. Nancy/Frank situation? Do you ship her with someone else? Who, and why?

I don’t think Nancy is particularly interested in either of them, or in settling down at all. To be honest, I like the idea of Nancy casually hooking up with hot people she meets on cases, then dashing. I’m especially fond of the idea of her and Zoe having an ongoing rivals-with-benefits thing.

9. Do you have any fun headcanons about any of the games or characters?

Until we met him in person, I used to headcanon that the reason we could never quite catch up with Sonny Joon was because he was on the space station. Jamila blogs about classic sci-fi. My crack headcanon about Alexei being a serial killer is a running joke among my entire household. And in my mind, practically every character is queer.

10. If you could visit any of the game locations, which ones and why?

Japan is my #1 travel goal, so the Ryokan Hiei would be first. I would love to be in Nancy’s shoes when there are no other guests left and she has the whole place to herself. Iceland is my #2 travel goal. I’d own the Golden Gardenia, because it ticks every box on my ultimate fantasy home checklist. I'd spend a couple days at Thornton Hall with my ghost hunting squad. I’d deliberately book a room at Wickford Castle when there was a snowstorm forecast, and do exactly what you do in the game. Shadow Ranch, because out in the middle of the Southwest desert is my place. Alexei’s shop, where we would complain for hours while I bought everything in sight.

11. Did you read any of the original Nancy Drew books? If yes, do you like them? If no, would you consider reading one?

Yeah, I started reading them shortly before I discovered the games. They have that old-fashioned charm, and I enjoy the detailed descriptions of Nancy’s outfits and Hannah’s meals. But they’re also super formulaic and frequently racist. Most of my favorite books are more recent. I particularly love Lights, Camera... and the sequel Action! They’re begging to be adapted for a game.

12. What is one thing any good detective can’t live without?

I’m gonna copy and paste what @nancydrewcomplex said, because it’s on point... “A smartphone for taking notes, allowing friends to find your location when you are inevitably kidnapped or entombed, social media stalking your suspects, some quick research, and most importantly the camera for swiftly taking pictures of evidence and journal pages and things you otherwise can’t risk taking the time to read at that very moment.”

13. Which game had the best soundtrack?

CLK’s use of the 1930s sound is 👌👌👌 FIN's music couldn’t be more perfect for a darkened historic theater. It’s mysterious, magical and haunting, like remnants of the music that played in the theater during its 1910s heyday. I love how CAR has carousel music not just on the ride itself, but worked into the many of the songs. Sometimes it’s creepy, sometimes dreamy, like the ballroom theme, which evokes ghostly ladies and gentlemen waltzing around the haunted house that was once the Galaxy Ballroom. And of course, MHM’s soundtrack is a classic. It captures the feeling that the mansion is an isolated bubble of its own history and secrets, unconcerned with the world passing by outside. I love that each room has its own theme, like characters, from the eerily faded saloon music in the basement to the Chinese room to the dark, forgotten sound of the attic.

14. What is one thing you wish HER would’ve included in any of the games (a conversation, interaction, location, feature, etc)?

More recurring characters. So many of them are way too great to only use once. Also more background on everyone. A big part of the reason I love Alexei so much is that he’s one of the few characters we get extensive background details on.

15. Do you have any ideas for a future game? What is it?

Tons! I’ve posted a couple, with plans for many more.

16. How long does it take you to finish a game from start to finish?

Depending on how many times I’ve played it, anywhere from two to eight hours. Hard to fathom now that my first playthrough of MHM took months. I didn’t yet have the internet to find a walkthrough and would put it aside for awhile when I got really stuck.

17. Did any of the games scare you? If yes, which ones? If no, why?

My first time playing MHM, the “I see you” on the stairs scared me so bad that I never used those stairs again, I took the creaky ones every time. The dog attack in Ghost Dogs scared me to death as a kid. Being outside when the howling started and Red saying “get back in the house” was super effective. It’s hard to scare me anymore, yet I dread going near the burned out ruins in GTH. The bad vibes are so oppressive it’s like static electricity.

18. Why did you join the Nancy Drew fandom here on tumblr?

I didn’t know there was one when I started this blog. I’d seen other “_______ things” blogs and kept thinking of Nancy Drew things. I doubted there were any other serious fans, let alone adults, but figured I’d make the blog anyway if only for my own enjoyment. I was thrilled to hit 20 followers. I was totally blindsided by how fast it took off. I’m continuously grateful and amazed by how good my experience of this fandom has been.

19. What is your favorite Nancy Drew joke (from in-game or even floating around the internet)?

I get a kick out of how SPY is the Ascended Meme game. I did not expect how feelsy they managed to make the horse shirt.

20. Who is someone in the clue crew you’ve always wanted to get to know?

Everyone I used to follow has left :’(

21. What are three unpopular opinions you hold about the games?

Ned is annoying and bland af. I don’t mind Fox and Geese. I’m okay with Nancy getting a new voice actress (not that we’ll ever hear her).

22. Do you have any fun theories about any of the games?

I know the dates don’t line up, but I love the theory about Lizzie Applegate and Diego Valdez being Frances and Dirk under new identities. The prop lady is Nancy as an old lady, which is why the prop room is full of souvenirs from her cases. Aunt Eloise writes about Nancy’s adventures under the pen name Carolyn Keene, hence the box of yellow-spined books in her house.

23. Who was your favorite animal character featured in the games?

Iggy with his tiny outfits >w<

24. Do other people in your life know about your love for Nancy Drew?

To know me is to know about it. It’s too important to keep on the DL. And I’ve gotten all my siblings and even an in-law into it, so no one’s judging.

25. How long have you been playing these games?

Since 2001, when I was nine.

Anyone who wants to do this, consider yourself tagged!

#nancy drew #cluecrewquestionnaire #personal

40 notes · View notes

keywestlou · 4 years

Text

BULLSHIT.....INSANITY.....COUNTY HEALTH ADMINISTRATOR SAYS NO REASON FOR CORONAVISUS PANIC

Key West lies within Monroe County. There is a County Health Administrator. His name Robert “Bob” Eadie. His title Administrator of the Florida Department of Health-Monroe. He has been so employed since 2007.

He recently spoke at a public meeting where the subject was coronavirus. I consider his comments/views pure unadulterated bullshit. Insanity at its best.

He said, “We consider chances of the disease showing up here to be very low. So, any rumor to the contrary is just that.”

He added some local plans are being put in place, but he is playing a waiting game for the virus to peter out on its own or become a declared global pandemic.

Would you believe!

He further claimed that the fact Monroe County is dependent on tourism doesn’t make it risky. Visitors from overseas already are screened at American airports. Cruise ship passengers undergo screening at U.S. ports.

Eadie’s conclusion, “The chances we’ll see a case in Monroe are very small…..the possibility of it coming here very slight…..not impossible, but very improbable.”

As to personal preparedness, he advised surgeon masks a waste of money, only N95-type respiratory masks will protect.

I have seen pics of the N95. Look like a typical face mask. Not expensive. Problem is people have already bought them up like crazy. Walmart and Amazon have no more for sale.

Eadie claimed the best protection was washing your hands, cover your mouth if you cough, stay away from sick people, and avoid unnecessary contact.

My research suggests Purell is the best hand sanitizer to purchase. Problem similar to the N95 exists. Stores have run out. As of last night, Walmart and Amazon were sold out. This morning a special e-mail from Walmart advised they now had a supply. I ordered big time.

I sense from Eadie’s words those of a politician. Trump and Eadie seem to minimize the coronavirus danger.

They should both get off the political merry-go-round! Better safe than sorry. The danger if it hits overwhelming based on what is occurring in other parts of the world.

The politicians are covering their asses for the moment. What will they say in 2 months or less if the virus finds a home here in Monroe County?

Some coronavirus observations.

Trump appears to be fearmongering. Mulvaney claims, “We know how to handle this.” Trump said at a rally that coronavirus is a “hoax.” He also said, corononavirus is the Democrats “new hoax.”

The stock market took a nose dive this past week based on coronavirus reports. The entire economic world is concerned. The Dow dropped 3,583 points. A 12 percent drop in one week. Amounts to $5 trillion. The worst decline in a similar time frame since 2008.

Trump’s son Donald Jr. made fearmongering and irresponsible comments friday in an interview with FOX & Friends: “But for them (Democrats) to take a pandemic and seemingly hope that it comes here, and kills millions of people so they could end Donald Trump’s streak of winning, is a new level of sickness. You know, I don’t know if this is coroonavirus or Trump derangement syndrome, but these people are infected badly.”

A dog tested positive for coronavirus in Hong Kong this past week. Medial authorities advised the dog thus far is a carrier. The dog has not come down with the disease itself.

Pope Francis is still sick. His problem continues not to be revealed. An official announcement from the Vatican said the Pope cancelled his official audiences for the second straight day.

The U.S./Taliban peace agreement is to be signed this morning.

The Trump administration makes it sound like it is the end of the 18 year Afghanistan War. In reality, not.

Taliban is not the Afghanistan government. There is a separate Afghanistan government. The government has not been a party to the negotiations nor the signing of the peace agreement.

Al-Qaeda still involved in Afghanistan. Not a party to the agreement.

The number of prisoners of war to be released already in dispute. The Afghanistan government wants all their people released. The U.S. says no.

If the war were actually ending, It would be expected that all U.S. troops would be removed. Not so. Presently 13,500. U.S. troops are only to be reduced to 8,000.

The peace agreement is a “test” of sorts. Good for 7 days up front. If peace “sort of” exists for that period, then the parties will discuss further moves to be part of a full agreement. If not, the agreement is nothing but a worthless piece of paper.

What actually is involved from the U.S. end is that Trump wants to tell the American people in this election year: “I settled the Afghanistan War!”

Tino’s photograph today has him dancing with a woman. The shot is from the TV series “Work in Paradise.”

Tino sent me a note with the pic: “Hey Lou, they pay me for this stuff!”

May Johnson must be one beautiful and talented lady!

Today her leap year in 1896.

She received a proposal of marriage in a letter from a Dr. F. A. Feta. He wrote he was wealthy enough to buy 1/2 of Key West. Also, his Aunt in Germany was 88 years old. If he would agree to join her in Germany, she would give him $100,000 of the $300,00 she had.

May rejected the Doctor.

Enjoy your day!

BULLSHIT…..INSANITY…..COUNTY HEALTH ADMINISTRATOR SAYS NO REASON FOR CORONAVISUS PANIC was originally published on Key West Lou

0 notes

sapphicluxanna · 5 years

Note

1-100 pls 🌹💕

BABE. oh my god. okay here we go, it’s gonna be long!!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk I think?

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? I love winter and everything about it, I’d rather be cold than hot

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? post it notes, receipts, I’ve used flowers a few times, really anything that’s in reach

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? tea with a little bit of milk and honey, coffee depends on the day? typically with a lil bit of vanilla creamer. when I make my ‘fancy’ coffee at home with frothy milk on top I always top them off with a dusting of cinnamon

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? always

6: do you keep plants? ye! I have a succulent/cacti terrarium, some sunflowers, jasmine, african violets, tomato plants, hanging planters, and a few more I forget the names of!

7: do you name your plants? not the ones I have currently

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I love ink. I haven't been able to paint with ink in a while, but the movement of that and watercolor are just.. freeing? I dunno how to explain it. that and drawing using ink, every mark you make is permanent and I just kinda zone out when doing it

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? aight listen. my future s/o is gonna have to deal with this a lot. shower? singing. car ride? singing. cooking? singing. y'all aint getting a break even if I sound like a dying cat

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? primarily side and stomach!

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? I cant think of many at the moment but uhhhh. hmm. a few guys and I play a game together and I run the group (in rdr2), and we don't let people join it if their horse’s tail isn't braided so we’ll hunt them down and kill them instead

12: what’s your favorite planet? neptune looks beautiful

13: what’s something that made you smile today? the fact that you wanted to know more about me

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? lots and lots of plants, kinda modern, a few fish tanks, smells like lavender and coffee

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! mars has the biggest known volcano!

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? stupidly basic, but chicken parmesan

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I’ve always wanted to impulsively dye it some shade of blue just for a few weeks

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I got ridiculously drunk off tequila at a house party and was given my first mojito, thought he picked leaves off the tree out back and threw them in so I dug them out and threw them around the yard in disgust. I have a very vague memory of this but they always give me crap for it

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I have a couple! one is my bujo where I keep lists of things like self care ideas, favorite movies and books, quotes, friend stuff, etc. another I use to draw in and like to recreate van gogh sketches, others are private

20: what’s your favorite eye color? y'all ever really see brown eyes? oof

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I don't have this?

22: are you a morning person? I could be if I woke up next to the right person

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? netflix binging, reading, aquarium shopping, walks with my dog in the woods, making stupid pancakes, and league with a babe

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? it takes time for me to trust people, so probably all my life at some point with a girl. as for family? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? I’ve locked myself outta my place a few times and had to go through the window

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? several pairs of sandals and slides!

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? just regular mint?

28: sunrise or sunset? watching the sunset on a blanket in the grass with a girl I care about

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? her voice gets a lil louder and she talks fast when she's excited about something and its flipping adorable

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love fluffy socks and patterned socks and ones with dinosaurs and stuff and I love socks so much, don't sleep in them though

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. we played a drinking game based off how we did in a split screen game, one drink for every kill, got v drunk that night

33: what’s your fave pastry? I love baclava but I’m horribly allergic to walnuts

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I still have it! my dad went down to south carolina a lot and I was, and still am, very much in love with alligators. I think I was six or something but he came home with this giant garbage bag and was moving it like there was an animal inside and when I opened it, it was a giant stuffed alligator. he's currently sitting on my bed, but seems a lot smaller now

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I really wanna get into using thicker paper for letters with pressed wax seals and pressed flowers

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? I don’t really focus on individual bands too much tbh, I bounce around a lot within genres. anything happy and country atm

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I’m tryna keep it cleaner, better habit to make myself get into

38: tell us about your pet peeves! people smoking around me (I don't care that you smoke whatever, I just ask you don't do it around me bc it makes me feel sick), a group of people that takes up the whole sidewalk going incredibly slow, people that cut me off in traffic without turn signals, people who f around in the tsa line and don't get ready then stand there for ten minutes taking everything off for the scanner and hold us up, “there” and “their” and “they’re” misuses, etc. jeez, didn't realize I had so many and that's not even all of them

39: what color do you wear the most? blue?

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I love my claddagh ring, my mom and sister both have the same one and we all match. currently not wearing it bc it was like 100 degrees F then other day and it burned my finger?????

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? asoiaf!!!!

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I like this lil coffee shop about half an hour away, every drink has an individual and funny name and the workers are nice

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I honestly can’t remember, but I could really go for this right now

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? uhhhh it’s been a bit? lotta stressors recently

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? I try to, should've listened to them regarding some stuff and I didn’t

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. what do you call a blind dinosaur? a do-you-think-he-saurus.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? broccoli

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? santa and the dark, no on both accounts now

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? no, I just use apple music

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? I dunno about odd, but I keep seashells and shark teeth I find on beaches

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? somebody to love

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? uhhhh I’m bad at keeping up with when these come out but probably the “wait was anyone going to tell me ___ or was I supposed to find out in this ___”

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I haven't seen these sorry!

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my dad

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? I honestly cannot think of this right now

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when they get excited about something, when their eyes sparkle a bit in sunlight, when they’re touchy (only certain ones), compassion, weird hobbies and interests, etc

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? it’s an experience. listen with headphones on high or don't listen to it at all

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? I guess I’d be the wine mom bc I don't drink heavily too often with my friends cause I’m usually the dd, vodka aunt would go to my friend S cause hell she puts that shit away fast

59: what’s your favorite myth? I love greek mythology

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? sappho

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? a lil cat bank that grabs a coin with its paw and drags it into the box and a potato, respectively

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? not usually

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I kept all of my books on a shelf before the move but idk what imma do with them now bc I have no room for a bookcase so they're kinda messy rn

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? pale blue and cloudy

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a friend who moved away a few years ago, I miss her

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? oooooh. hmm. lots of blues and pinks and purples with lil twisty brown vines?

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? I love them, 10/10, perfect.

68: what’s winter like where you live? we either get 3 feet of snow overnight or a dusting, there’s no in between

69: what are your favorite board games? I cant remember the last time I played a board game??? I liked the game of life and monopoly when I was a kid

70: have you ever used a ouija board? nope

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? whatever happens to be in the cabinet!

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? I have the memory of a goldfish

73: what are some of your worst habits? letting people get away with things they've done to me, being too lenient with people that make me uncomfortable, etc

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re such a good friend and we have enough years built into our friendship that we can go a few weeks without talking and be right where we left off. they’re kind and caring and ready to help people when they need it

75: tell us about your pets! my cat is an 8 year old lil grump, but he gets so freaking affectionate and lovey too. he knows when I’m anxious and will come up and sit on my chest and purr. my dog’s a ball of jumping energy, she's always excited and happy, she’s only 2 so hopefully she’ll mellow out. then my clownfish are flipping adorable even though they try to bite my fingers when I’m working on the aquarium

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? unpacking and socializing with family

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I don't care about them really, but the facebook minion memes passed around by moms gotta stop

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? one of my exes surprise got me flowers sometimes, while the relationship just didn't work that was a cute action

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? they’re kinda beige-ish? I just moved here and I don’t wanna repaint them

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. hmm. one of my friends’ eyes are like the leaves on the forest floor, an assortment of greens and browns blended together with the occasional fleck of gold when light filters through the trees

82: are/were you good in school? I’m okay? In high school I was in honor classes and stuff and I've made the deans list a few times in college so far, but honestly I think I’m just average. I have a lot of issues with math and it’s why I couldn't go into one of the fields I was considering. I get overwhelmed quickly

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? tbh I don't look at this kinda stuff but I know kesha’s rainbow was good?

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? ye! I want a small humpback whale on my left inner wrist, they mean a lot to me and I finally got to see one in person just last year. then I have some scars on my thigh I’ve been tossing around the idea of getting a tattoo to cover up, but idk if I would or what I would get

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? no sorry! I always wanted to when I was younger but I got psyched out by guys who would say they're not for girls who I never took advantage of the comic shop a family friend owns

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? I dunno what this is and I’m too tired to google it but imma guess its about music? to which I say I’m v bad at keeping up with everyones stuff

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? the princess bride, star wars, lord of the rings, the sound of music, indiana jones (NOT crystal skull, it sucked), jurassic park, and a lottttt more.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? impressionism, post impressionism, and expressionism

89: are you close to your parents? ish.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I absolutely loved st. malo in france. I need to go back. it’s a giant walled city on the water and it’s just beautiful. I sat and watched an artist on the street for a while and bought two of his paintings afterward, gotta figure out where to hang them in my new bedroom. the air smelled amazing, it rained a lot when I was there but I still loved it and I wish I’d had more time to really explore than I did

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I wanted to go to sri lanka to see my family but I don’t think it’s gonna happen, but I’ve got my fingers crossed for pennsylvania cause reasons

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? cheese is life

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? I braid it overnight and wear it down during the day!

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my dad a few days ago

95: what are your plans for this weekend? I think I’ve got another family party to go to? feel kinda done with my fam rn though

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I literally just installed 2 years worth of updates this morning, so yeah, I procrastinate updates quite a bit

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? idk what the first thing is but the others are scorpio and slytherin!

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? oh wow I can’t remember, but imma say yes? I wanna hike with my dog at some point

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. somebody to love, la mer, and some others

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the future. I hope that future me is happy and comfy with someone she loves surrounded by their plants, aquariums, pets, and love.

#this was #so long #youre adorable ily #lack of emojis due to typing on my computer #oof #answered

1 note · View note

mssng-lttrs · 7 years

Text

thank you so much for tagging me, @studywithbread! a bit late, but i had fun answering!

Rules: Answer these 92 89 statements and tag 20 people

LAST: 1. Drink: water (it’s important to stay hydrated, kids!) 2. Phone call: a call from my great aunt telling me that she was waiting out front 3. Text message: sent - “ohh” (my friend told me that jacob stegosaurus got hacked lmao) received - “good night” (a text from my family group chat) 4. Song you listened to: Trade Mistakes by Panic! at the Disco 5. Time you cried: i honestly don’t remember?? i’m just not a big crier. the last time i cried was also the first time i cried in public. i stayed after class to ask my teacher to input some assignments (this was after the deadline for late work and he didn’t accept any more emails). he went off on me, saying that i should’ve emailed and blah blah blah. i walked out to lunch with my friend who had waited and then started to cry

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: is it lame that i’m sixteen and haven’t even had my first kiss?? 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: um, not in the aspect of friends, but i have lost family members 10. Been depressed: not really 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: i aM a gOod kiD!! (the answer is no.)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: yellow, purple (lilac or very dark purple), and black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes i have 16. Fallen out of love: i don’t really have any experience with love lmao 17. Laughed until you cried: i don’t think i’ve ever laughed and ended up with tears, but i have laughed until i ran out of breath and ended up just clapping my hands together like a seal 18. Found out someone was talking about you: no, i have not 19. Met someone who changed you: i don’t think i’ve recently met someone with that much impact on my life 20. Found out who your friends are: i think i have 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i honestly don’t even know how to use facebook

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: ^see above 23. Do you have any pets: no, but i really, really, really want a dog!!

HYDRATION REMINDER #1: drink a glass of water! yes, right now!

24. Do you want to change your name: no, i do not. i’m really proud of my name (despite not choosing to disclose it on here) because it has a certain meaning to it 25. What did you do for your last birthday: my last birthday was actually pretty fun! for my sixteenth birthday, i decided to have a party (after not having one since like fourth grade) with a bob ross theme. it was pretty small, i only invited a few friends over, but we had a lot of fun just chilling and painting along to bob ross :) 26. What time did you wake up: i woke up at 7:15 due to my alarm, but then went back to sleep until 8:45 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: falling asleep 28. Name something you can’t wait for: this sunday. i’m part of a teen advisory board at my local library and i came up with this idea for a program. i’ve spent a few months working on putting everything together for this, and it’s going to be on sunday! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: this morning when she left for work 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: um… i’m not sure, i think i’m pretty okay with my life at the moment 31. What are you listening to right now: Black Mambo by Glass Animals 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i am very shocked that my answer is no 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my little brother’s temper tantrums 34. Most visited websites: youtube and tumblr

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: i have one below my right eye and a few light ones on my cheeks by my mouth 36. Mark/s: i have a birthmark on the back of my thigh that i can’t see myself unless i sit in front of a mirror and lift up my leg. i also have a scar on my stomach right next to my navel from surgery as a premature baby 37. Childhood dream: my childhood dream was to own and manage my own restaurant and to be a writer. i don’t remember if one came before the other or if they came about at the same time. the restaurant dream has faded away over time, but i still love to write 38. Hair color: black, but the ends have gotten a dark brown from the sun 39. Long or short hair: when i was little, i really did not want to get my hair cut. so, i only ever got it trimmed until two years ago. i decided to actually cut it and donate the hair, because my hair was long enough to do so. my hair ended up a few inches past my shoulders, and i actually really liked it. then i let my hair grow out and back in december i decided to cut it again to donate. this time, it went up to about my collarbones. i don’t really prefer one hair length over the other, though 40. Do you have a crush on someone: no, i do not 41. What do you like about yourself: i like my creativity and my ability to make others laugh 42. Piercings: i only have two, one on each lobe. i love the idea of other piercings (eyebrow bars, septums, snake bites, etc.), but i wouldn’t get them myself 43. Blood type: i have no idea 44. Nickname: in real life, i don’t really have any nicknames. i prefer people to call me by my full name, but i’m fine with people coming up with nicknames that don’t have to do with my actual name. on here, i go by o.a.a (here’s why) 45. Relationship status: single, but i would really like to be in a relationship 46. Zodiac: pisces

HYDRATION REMINDER #2: go and get yourself another glass of water!

47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: i don’t watch a lot of tv because we have amazon prime 49. Tattoos: i don’t have any. but, like with piercings, i really like the idea of it. i would want one on my right bicep of a planet, or something related to space, but i don’t think i would ever actually get it (mostly because i am not a fan of needles) 50. Right or left hand: i am right-handed 51. Surgery: i underwent surgeries when i was a baby because i was born two months premature. i don’t remember/have never really asked about the exact purpose of them, though 52. Hair dyed in different color: i have never dyed my hair, not even with a temporary hair dye, hair chalk, or kool aid 53. Sport: what is this sport you speak of?? haha i am a very lazy person, but i do go to the gym with my family 54. Vacation: i think my favorite vacation was during spring break this year. my family and i went on a road trip up to portland, oregon. we stayed there for a couple days. then we went on a day trip to vancouver, washington. after that, we went to san jose to stay at a friend’s. the next day, we went on a day trip to san francisco and the day after we went back home 55. Pair of trainers: i don’t know how to answer this question

MORE GENERAL: 56. Eating: i’m not eating anything at the moment, but i had cereal for breakfast 57. Drinking: i am currently drinking water 58. I’m about to: reblog some gifs of dan and phil probably 59. Waiting for: my mom to come home from work 60. Want: to be able to explore more of the world; go to more museums and bookstores; become a cultured person; be happy in life (and get a dog!!) 61. Get married: i really want to get married sometime in the future 62. Career: i’m planning on becoming a pharmacist as my career (because it’s sensible, financially-speaking) and write on the side/in my spare time (which is the more risky job)

WHICH IS BETTER: 63. Hugs or kisses: hugs 64. Lips or eyes: eyes 65. Shorter or taller: idk? i am a very short person (4’ 11.5”) so everyone’s taller than me. i wish i was at least in the 5’ range, but i don’t particularly mind being a small person 67. Older or younger: i guess older? but i am friends with people that are younger than me

HYDRATION REMINDER #3: yes, drink even more water!

68. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice stomach 69. Sensitive or loud: loud (to balance out my sensitivity) 70. Hook up or relationship: relationship 71. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 72. Kissed a Stranger: no, i’m too shy for that 73. Drank hard liquor: nope 74. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yes, and here’s the story behind it: my mom took us to a party thrown by her boss. they had a home theater, so my brothers and i spent the rest of the time in there. at some point, i took off my glasses and set them down. when we went to leave, i couldn’t find my glasses, anywhere. i never left the room except to go the bathroom, but i didn’t find them. i ended up buying new ones (which look better than the old ones) in december. last week, my mom came home from work with my old glasses. turns out, her boss found them under the seat. 75. Turned someone down: yeah 76. Sex on the first date: I’M ONLY SIXTEEN 77. Broken someone’s heart: sorta (it ties in with turning someone down) 78. Had your heart broken: no 79. Been arrested: nope 80. Cried when someone dies: i know this makes me sound soulless, but i have not cried when my family members died. i did grieve deeply, though 81. Fallen for a friend: the same person who sorta had their heart broken and was turned down by me

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 82. Yourself: yeah 83. Miracles: yes 84. Love at first sight: i do (this was intentional wording) 85. Santa Claus: as a kid, yes, but not anymore 86. Kiss on the first date: sure if the date went well

OTHER: 87. Current best friend name: alex 88. Eye color: a deep brown 89. Favorite movie: any disney movie or studio ghibli movie (but i do really like ratatouille and spirited away)

HYDRATION REMINDER #4: the very last one now that you’ve gotten to the end of this list! drink another glass! now you’ve at least met half of the daily goal in only the time it took you to read this post!

NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE:

@philester // @wishes-and-stars // @philscurls // @studywitheva // @hufflepuffwannabe // @tbhstudying // @donthavetobebrave // @h2ostudies // @needacuddle // @dannyhowell // @cosyphan // @scholarc // @permanenthugfromyou // @studie-s // @studybrite // @miepeachy // @saturday-studying // @gradespiration // @studyrelief // @notesworthtea

*it’s all good if you don’t want to answer these! i honestly just went down my following list and tagged whoever came up. sorry in advance if i just come off as a creepy, random follower

#tagged #about me

11 notes · View notes