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scapegrace74-blog · 3 years

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New Ways of Turning Into Stone

A/N Another long drive, another Outlander fanfic idea that dropped into my brain out of nowhere, shoving aside the historical AU I have been wrestling with for months. Here’s the pitch: Claire Beauchamp is a psychiatrist specializing in grief counselling. Jamie Fraser is referred to her by his sister, who is worried for his well-being after a series of family tragedies. You can probably guess the rest, but I’m going to write it anyway. The title is taken from a song by the amazing Phantogram that was playing as the story idea came to me.

After losing my WIP virginity posting Ginger Snap, I’m going out on that limb again and posting this first chapter with only a rough outline mapped out in my head. You people are a terrible influence! Also, there will be some trigger warnings on future chapters, so please watch out for those. And now, on with our show.

Claire Beauchamp glanced down at the leather-bound calendar open on her desk. The ivory page for Thursday was packed to the margins, each hourly block filled with the name of a patient followed by a series of cuneiform symbols she used to remind herself of the last session, course of treatment, overall progress, all while maintaining strict confidentiality. Not even Geillis Duncan, her office administrator and very good friend, knew how to decode the script.

Geillis liked to laugh at the old-fashioned day planner, reminding Claire that their practice utilized software that could perform the same function electronically, but she enjoyed the act of physically logging each session. The solid heft of her Mont Blanc pen in her hand, a medical school graduation gift from her Uncle Lamb. The scratch and grab of the nub as it bled black ink over virgin paper. It was a tactile ceremony in a detached world. Geillis would nod and then tell her she needed to get laid.

Speak of the devil, a sharp rap on her office door was followed by the appearance of her strawberry blonde head. blue eyes alight with mischief.

“Yer two o’clock is here. Did ye need more time tae finish bolting down tha’ chaff ye call a salad, or can I show him in?”

“It’s kale,” she defended. “It’s full of anti-oxidants.”

A disdainful scoff was the only response.

“Yes, Geil, please show Mister...” she glanced down at her planner, “...Fraser in, thank you.”

The tiny rectangle contained only a name, which meant this was their first appointment. Geillis vetted all prospective patients, but Claire preferred to go into the first meeting blind, with no assumptions or pre-conceptions.

She wondered what misfortune had caused Mr. Fraser to seek out her psychiatric services. The death of a child, perhaps, or the end of an extra-marital affair. People grieved for very different reasons and worked through or around that grief with a surprising variety of coping mechanisms. Most called upon her practice in much the same way they would a breakdown truck when their car’s engine failed. They simply wanted to get back on the road to happiness.

Despite the degrees and accreditations that decorated her office wall, Claire wasn’t certain such a thing was possible. In her experience, grief was a phantom limb that never really went away. The best one could hope for was to learn healthier ways of living with it.

The sound of Geillis clearing her throat snapped her back to the present.

“Was there something else, Geil?”

“Och, no’ really. Just, when yer considerin’ how tae thank me later on, remember tha’ my favourite stone is an emerald, that I prefer gold tae silver, but platinum is ne’er amiss.”

“What are you on about, Duncan?” But her friend had already disappeared back into the reception area, leaving behind only the glow of her Cheshire smile. Claire was shaking her head, bemused, when another knock rang out, this one considerably heavier than the first.

“Come in,” she called as she looked up. And up. And up some more.

The man who now practically filled her office door had to be at least six foot four, with powerful shoulders and a broad torso encased in a blue henley. His nearly endless legs were likewise muscular, as testified by the stretch of his jeans across each thigh. As if his physique wasn’t remarkable enough, he had a head of outrageously wavy red hair, worn long enough to graze the tops of his ears and the nape of his neck, but swept back from a high brow by a judicious use of product. His face was angular in a pleasingly unique way, with a day or two’s growth of beard counter-balancing an almost youthful, earnest appearance. But his most striking feature by far were his aquamarine eyes that shimmered like a tropical sea. Eyes that were currently observing her with perplexity.

“Dr. Beauchamp?” a deep Scottish brogue inquired. He pronounced it as though she were French.

“Yes,” she startled. “That’s me. And it’s pronounced Beecham. Please, come in Mister Fraser.” She shuffled a few items around her desk needlessly as she tried to compose herself. Damn Geillis for not giving her a bit more warning that her newest client was some sort of fitness model.

“Thank ye,” he replied. “An’ it’s pronounced Jamie, if ye please.” She added wit to the growing list of the man’s attributes.

If anything, he grew even more impressive as he approached. She could see he was nervous, although hiding it well. His striking eyes darted about the room, trying to get a sense of his environment. She indicated the well-upholstered armchair that sat to one side of her desk.

“Have a seat,” she invited.

With a surprising amount of grace for one so tall, he eased into the chair but didn’t lean back. The fingers of his left hand tapped restlessly against his thigh. She watched him quietly, waiting for him to speak. This was a trick she had learned when she first started practicing psychiatry, but in this case it also allowed her to continue her appraisal. He was, she concluded, the most attractive man she’d ever seen in the flesh.

“No couch,” he finally observed.

“No. That’s a bit of a Hollywood trope, I’m afraid. Lying prone in front of a stranger is hardly conducive to feeling at ease.”

He nodded his acceptance of her logic, but was otherwise silent.

“So,” she spoke at last, unable to wait him out, “what caused you to seek out counselling, Jamie?” His name suited him, she thought as she spoke it for the first time. Both boyish and imposing at once.

“I didna. Twas my sister, Jenny, who insisted I see a doctor.” His mobile mouth twisted into a grimace. She could imagine the sibling discord that such a demand would have caused. Whoever this Jenny was, she was made of strong stuff. Unfortunately for her, a hostile patient would receive no benefit from merely visiting her office. Counselling was a participatory process, and she could tell from the stubborn set of Jamie’s shoulders that he had no intention of participating.

“I see,” she said carefully. “Well, it’s your time and your dime, Mr. Fraser. This session lasts for forty-five minutes, and you’ve not been here for five. There’s a carafe of hot water on the table over there, if you care for some tea. Or you’re welcome to just enjoy that comfortable chair for another forty minutes. I’ll be working on some administrative necessities.”

She turned her chair away from him, but from the corner of her eye she could see his gobsmacked expression. He had clearly expected her to cajole and manipulate him into co-operating, but that simply wasn’t her style.

“I meant no offence, doctor. I’m certain ye’re verra good at what ye do. Tis only... well, Jenny is my older sister, ye ken. She practically raised me. And so ofttimes she treats me like a muckle-sized bairn, and no’ a man who’s capable of lookin’ after himself.”

As he spoke, Jamie leaned forward until his elbows rested on his knees, expressive hands gesturing in front of his face. Hostile to the notion of counselling he might be, but he clearly wanted her to understand it wasn’t a slight. As a physician, she had been trained to never take a patient’s reactions personally, but it didn’t mean she didn’t appreciate the effort.

“No offence taken, Jamie. If you don’t need my assistance, I’m happy for you. That’s one less person hurting in the world.”

“I didna say I wasna hurting. But I can handle it my own way. I am handling it, that is,” he hurried to add.

Unable to sit still any longer, he rose and walked over to the small table where she kept an assortment of herbal teas and a tray of Geillis’ homemade biscuits. Bending over, Jamie set about making himself some; chamomile by the smell of it. The sound of spoon ringing off porcelain as he stirred in some honey made her smile, reminding her of Lamb and his obsession with the lost art of afternoon tea.

“Can I make ye a cup?”

The question was so unexpected, it took her a moment to process it. The tea was there as a distraction for her patients, to give them something to do with their bodies as they worked through difficult emotions. None of them had ever thought to offer her a reprieve as well.

“No, thank you. I just finished lunch.”

He dipped a shortbread into the steaming tea, then ate it in a single bite. Instead of sitting back down, he began to browse the framed certificates and photographs along the far wall as he sipped his tea. With his back turned, her eyes dipped to admire his ass, which filled out his jeans perfectly. When she caught herself, she gave her head a shake, appalled at her lack of professional detachment. Maybe Geillis was right. Maybe she really did need to get laid.

“How long have ye been a doctor?” Jamie asked without turning around.

“Ten years,” she replied. “But I’ve only been a psychiatrist for the last two.”

It was a dangerous topic, and she blamed his ass for letting the words slip out. Fortunately, his inquisitiveness took him in an entirely different direction.

“Were ye some kind of prodigy, then? Ye hardly seem old enough tae have yer own practice, let alone fer a decade. If ye dinna mind me sayin’ so,” he added quickly, as though realizing what he’d just said.

“Not at all. And you hardly seem young enough to be a, what was it? A muckle-sized bairn?”

As he turned to look her way, she understood the expression ‘shot-gun smile’ for the first time. It spread across his face like a sunbeam, transforming what was already remarkable into a work of art. If she hadn’t been sitting, she likely would have stumbled backward from the force of the blow. Scrambling for something familiar to keep her from making a very grave fool of herself in front of this man, she clasped her clinical training with both hands.

“Are you and your sister close?”

“Aye, when we’re no’ tryin’ not tae kill the other. Our Mam died when I was only four, and with Da workin’ dawn til dark on the farm, Jenny was parent, teacher an’ playmate all rolled inta one.”

“You’re not from Edinburgh, then?” Although what that had to do with his counselling, she hadn’t a clue.

“Nah, I hail from a wee village in the Highlands ye’ve likely ne’er heard of called Broch Mordha.” She shook her head to indicate she was indeed unfamiliar with it. Jamie launched into a detailed description of the place, his hands sculpting the landscape out of thin air. He obviously cared very deeply for his home, and she felt a twinge of jealousy, having never known that feeling of deep belonging herself.

“And what brought you to Old Smoky?” she asked as he wound down, her interest piqued. It was like slamming a lead door on his previously sunny disposition.

“Family obligations.” Said in such a way as to make it clear that no further words would be forthcoming on the topic. She regretted her nosiness immediately, despite what it revealed about his emotional state. Jamie was most certainly grieving something, but handling it he was not.

Before she could find a way back to the easy flow of conversation, a chime from her laptop indicated that the session was up. She couldn’t bear to dismiss him without trying to set things right.

“Listen, Jamie, I understand that you only came here today to humour your sister, but I want you to consider something. Whether we’re grieving or angry or jealous, or any destabilizing feeling, we’re often the worst surveyors of our own landscape. Just like you can’t know your place on the sea without referencing the stars, it takes something external to ourselves to measure how far adrift we have become. Your sister obviously loves you. Ask yourself, what has she seen in you that prompted her to force you to seek help?”

They parted with cordial but muted goodbyes. The door closed behind him, leaving Claire to stare at the blank rectangle in her planner that bore his name. No coded symbols flowed from her pen. When the door re-opened, it was Geillis, closing it firmly behind her.

“Weel, did I no’ tell ye? Wee fox, tha’ one. And he told me he liked my shortbread!” Geillis said this as though it was some kind of sexual euphemism, which for all Claire knew, it was.

“Yes,” she replied distractedly. “He’s very nice.”

“Nice! Nice? Tha’ man is tae nice what Wagyu is tae beef jerky. Have ye completely lost yer senses, woman?”

“Yes, well, he’s a patient, Geillis, as you well know. And not one I’m likely to see again,” she added, acknowledging out loud what she already knew.

“Oh, no?” Geillis sing-songed. “Thas’ strange, as he just made an appointment fer the same time next week.”

Claire’s eyes flew to where her friend looked on, smug as could be.

“Yer three o’clock called tae say she was runnin’ five minutes late. I’ll leave ye tae think about yer... patient.”

Claire picked up her pen, trying to pull together something resembling a professional summary of her first appointment with Jamie. Her mind replayed their interaction, but all she could remember was the way his eyes crinkled when he was listening attentively, the tidy half-moons of his fingernails, the seam of his jeans as it contoured his thigh, and the cymbal-crash in her chest that accompanied his smile.

Patient, she reminded herself. Jamie Fraser is your patient.

#my writing #outlander

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starlight-vixen-emiko · 3 years

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Lukanette June 2021 Day 21 - Breakdown

Another one for @lukanettejune <3

This one also isn’t very original it takes place after Silencer and is a slight canon divergence. Also to note there is angst...But I hope this fanfic will move all of you, it’s a bit of a surprise.

Also I apologize if there are any hiccups, Grammarly was giving me an attitude.

So without further ado...

2 weeks after Luka got akumatized as Silencer, he looked into the mirror and got a flash of the creature he had become. Luka's heart nearly stopped, and his breathing became labored. He pushed himself to lay down in his bed and sleep off these flashbacks.

But in his dream, he woke up with his face covered in a mask and his hands gloved. Luka tried to pull his mask off his face, but to no avail, he couldn't even bring himself to scream from agony.

He had to get out of here before anyone could see his shameful form. Then, he had to find Ladybug.

"Brother, what happened to you?"

Luka turned and saw his sister Juleka giving him a confused look. Luka started tearing up behind his mask, but he could not cry. Instead, the akumatized boy gently moved toward his sister and placed his fingers near her lips. Then, he made a gentle "shhh!" sound which caused his sister to become even more distressed.

Luka ran out of the Liberty so no one else would have to see him like this.

"Brother!!!" Juleka cried desperately.

Luka kept running aimlessly around Paris. He had to find Ladybug so she could cleanse him of this form. He was akumatized again, so she had to come for him at one point and destroy his demons for good.

People in the streets watched him run and insulted him, jeered at him. It was so loud, and Luka didn't have a voice. But he wouldn't lose himself again by silencing others.

Ladybug! Ladybug! He cried silently.

But then he stopped when he saw Marinette. She looked as beautiful as ever, but the sight of him made her eyes start to water.

"Luka," she breathed.

Her voice was comforting in his time of agony.

"Luka. Oh no! Please don't leave me!" Marinette cried.

Luka couldn't move at this point, but he was still silent, so he tried to communicate with her by flapping his fingers like a moving mouth like he did when he was first akumatized. His eyes pleaded with her.

Marinette managed to smile at him. "Luka, you're here. You're going to be ok."

Luka's heart felt so relieved hearing her words, and Marinette moved closer to him, smiling at him as if he were never akumatized.

She was about to reach for his gloved hands, but an evil figure stepped in.

It was Bob Roth looking menacingly at them.

"I won't be silenced, Silencer," Roth said in an eerie tone.

Luka felt chills go down his spine.

"But she will be…."

"No!" Marinette cried. "Leave him alone!"

Marinette got in front of Luka and used her body to shield him as an electric shock hit her, and she fell back in his arms. Bob Roth only laughed, and Luka couldn't cry out as Marinette was fatally wounded in his arms. Her beautiful blue eyes were half-lidded as she tried to hold on to her life.

"Lu-Luka," she cried as she gave one last cough and fell unconscious.

Luka held her closer and silently yelled at her to wake up.

Marinette, she was silent.

No! Noooo! Marinette! He cried silently as he covered one of his ears.

Now everything was louder around him. Anger, agony, hatred, he was mute, but he couldn't silence these overwhelming emotions in his head.

No! Stop! Not her! No!!!

"NO!!!" Luka cried as he woke up. He immediately sat up and nearly fell out of bed. His breathing became hectic as he tried to ground himself like he usually did, but tears ended up coming out of his eyes in shame.

"No, no, no...." He cried softly as he buried his face in his knees.

He hoped his mother and his sister didn't hear him, but his outburst was too loud. He just wanted to pretend everything was ok so neither of them would have to worry, so no one would have to worry. Especially Marinette, he could just make her smile like he used to.

But how could she smile knowing what he did?

Juleka wrapped her blanket around herself and listened to her brother's agony in silence.

"Big brother…"

~~~~

Back at the Dupain-Cheng bakery, Marinette was hard at work in the kitchen. She was meeting up with Kitty Section again, and she was making the band members' favorite treats.

There were strawberry chocolate cream puffs for Rose and Juleka, olive bread for Ivan and Mylene, and for Luka, a nice box with pistachio macarons. Since Juleka mentioned it was his favorite flavor of macaron.

She hummed one of Luka's songs as she placed each macaron in a blue box. Tikki floated to watch Marinette.

"Ooo! Do I detect love in your eyes, Marinette?" Tikki asked.

"Hm?" Marinette blushed. "Oh no! Luka is just charming."

The most charming guy she ever knew.

Tikki moved toward Marinette, so she was staring Marinette in the eye.

"But your feelings for him are so pure," Tikki said.

Marinette smiled and pondered as she placed the blue cover on top of Luka's gift.

Just then, Marinette's phone rang. She thought it was strange to get a phone call now, especially since she was about to leave for the Liberty.

She took out her phone and saw that Juleka was calling her. A bit of worry filled her chest, but she promptly answered.

"Hello? Juleka?" Marinette answered.

"Marinette!" Juleka cried. Marinette could hear a bit of distress in Juleka's voice.

"Is everything alright?" Marinette said.

She would honestly be a bit sad if plans got canceled and she couldn't see everyone.

After a pause, Juleka spoke.

"It's my brother…."

Suddenly a twinge of worry filled Marinette's chest.

"Luka? Is he ok?"

There was a pause, and Marinette could've sworn she heard the other members of Kitty Section voicing their concerns.

"I wanted to ask you for help," Juleka said. "So please come over quickly.""

Marinette had to admit she was a bit iffy. It's not that she didn't want to be there for Luka, but Luka was always there to help her. But, on the other hand, she wasn't sure how a slip-up like herself was supposed to help him. Now that she thought about it, their relationship did seem like he gave her so much, and she could only give him so little. But this was Luka they were talking about. So she had to try in whatever way she could.

"I will!" Marinette said, determined. "I'll be right over!"

Juleka thanked Marinette, and they quickly said their goodbyes as Marinette put all her treats in a bag. Tikki hovered over Marinette in concern, and Marinette turned and held her hand out for her kwami.

“Come on Tikki, Luka needs help!”

Tikki wasn't sure about the details, but if Luka was having problems, then the little kwami may have had an idea of what was ailing him.

~~~~

Marinette jogged her way around Paris and then sprinted when she found the Liberty. All the members of Kitty Section except for Luka were on the top deck looking a bit distressed.

"Everyone!" Marinette cried as she waved.

The band members greeted Marinette as well. When Marinette finally boarded the ship, she took a moment to catch her breath.

When Marinette finished panting, she looked up at all the band members who had their usual happiness drained away.

"Is Luka ok?" Marinette asked seriously.

Juleka frowned and stepped up to Marinette.

"He had a nightmare last night," Juleka said. "And it sounded awful."

Marinette gasped. It didn't seem like Luka, but she guessed by now there were still some things about Luka that were a mystery to her.

"But he always has the brightest smile when he's with you," Juleka said.

Marinette was a bit flustered knowing that. It was sweet to know, but outside Ladybug, she felt like she was just a plain Jane. Not even Adrien would look at her twice.

"I figured if there was anyone who could snap him out of it, it's you, Marinette," Juleka said.

Marinette clenched her hands. Yes, she wanted to protect Luka's smile at all costs, but she wasn't sure if she was qualified to save him from the darkness.

"I'm not sure if I would be much help, Juleka," Marinette admitted.

All the bandmates spoke their disagreement, but it wasn't enough for Marinette to feel confident.

"Just be yourself, just like my brother likes you. And you'll know what to do. I just know it," Juleka said, pleading with Marinette.

"Yes, Marinette, please!" Rose cried.

"I can't make Luka budge, but you could, Marinette," Ivan assured her.

"It's undeniable that you and Luka have something special, whatever it is," Mylene said.

Marinette turned to the door where Luka's room was. She took a breath and walked down the stairs as her friends followed her.

Marinette opened the door as quietly as she could and then peaked through the door.

"You can do it!" Rose whispered.

"Just be yourself," Juleka said.

Marinette nodded and closed the door behind her.

She heard the sound of a guitar playing, but not as gently as usual.

Marinette walked through the lounge and stopped before she got to the doorway, where she could hear the tense guitar playing. She didn't want to make Luka feel worse, but she took a breath and walked in.

Marinette turned her head and saw Luka's blue hair covering his eyes as he focused on his guitar playing. She couldn't interrupt him, so she listened to the song of his intense emotions.

When Luka finally strummed the last chord, he sighed and removed his hair from his face. He then gasped at the sight of Marinette watching him the entire time.

"Marinette!"

Marinette stepped back, not wanting to come off as disrespectful.

"I'm sorry!" Marinette cried. "Juleka asked me to come here...To check to see if you were alright."

Luka couldn't respond because he didn't want Marinette to see him in this state in the first place.

Marinette started to sweat, and she placed her hand behind her neck.

"But if you don't want me around, that's alright."

Marinette was about to turn around.

"No!" Luka cried. "God Marinette, no! You're not a burden on me!"

Marinette turned as she thought she heard Luka's voice crack for a moment.

Luka held his head down in shame. "I didn't want to be a burden on you."

Marinette's eyes widened. Luka? A burden on her? Never! Luka has provided nothing but support ever since they first met.

"No, Luka!" Marinette cried. "I was so worried when I was told you were hurt. I wanted to help bring back your smile."

Luka managed to chuckle. But that laughter was still laced with sadness and shame.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want you to see me like this," Luka said.

Marinette took a step closer to him.

"Luka, do you want to tell me what happened?"

There was a pause, and then Luka patted his bed. Marinette promptly sat beside him.

There was a pause, but Marinette knew to be patient as she heard the agony of Luka's every breath.

"I still see the monster I became two weeks ago," Luka said.

It clicked for Marinette when Luka became Silencer.

"It's haunting me like a ghost," Luka said lowly.

Marinette remembered when Tikki talked about the haunting aftermaths of akumatization. That sometimes, people who get akumatized could still feel the evil energy lingering.

Luka clenched his fists. "I lost control, Marinette. I'm sorry!" He started to cry. "I didn't make the best decision, and I could've hurt someone!"

Marinette quickly took Luka's hand. A hand that she admitted she liked holding because Luka was so strong and gentle.

"No, Luka! The anger you felt was righteous anger!" Marinette cried as she squeezed his hand. "I can't blame you for feeling angry at injustice, and you did it for me!"

Marinette felt like hanging her head herself. "No one has ever stood up for me like you did."

Marinette took both of his hands with her own. "And you have no idea how grateful I am that you did all that for me."

Marinette could finally see Luka's ocean blue eyes stained with tears. Marinette was starting to cry herself due to the overwhelming feelings she felt for Luka.

"Oh Marinette, you are a healing song," Luka said as more tears came out of his eyes.

Marinette sniffed as she wrapped her arms around his head and hugged his head against her chest, surprisingly Luka. He wanted to break free so her shirt wouldn't be stained with his tears, but Marinette held him close but gently. They laid back in the bed as Luka felt comfort in Marinette's touch as long as he needed.

Marinette stroked his hair and hummed his song. This time Marinette was giving her all to Luka, and Luka was overwhelmed.

The sound of her sweet voice humming his song. Luka was starting to fall asleep on her chest, but he was drifting off, feeling a bit more relaxed than he did last night.

Marinette kept comforting him as she noticed him falling asleep on her. Not that she minded. As strange as it sounded, she enjoyed having Luka sleeping in her arms. She even imagined what it would be like sleeping beside him, but she blushed and shook off that thought.

Eventually, Marinette laid her head back and started to drift off herself.

The two of them had the same dream. It was years later with the both of them at a fancy roof party on top of a building. Luka was a famous musician that no Bob Roth could mess with. Marinette was a world-famous fashion designer who made everyone feel beautiful with her designs.

They smiled at each other.

"We both made it," Luka said. "I am so proud of both of us."

Marinette smiled. "It's because we are always there to make each other stronger. It's what got us here today."

Luka smiled down on her and cupped her face to give her a kiss on the cheek.

Marinette squeaked for a moment. His soft and warm lips delicately kissed her cheek. It was a welcome gesture.

"You're amazing," Luka said.

Marinette smiled and moved toward Luka and gave him a kiss on the cheek as well.

"Thank you, Luka!"

Marinette smiled in her sleep from that dream. Maybe this dream would finally make her rethink her feelings toward Adrien.

Luka smiled in his sleep as well. Finally finding peace thanks to a girl as clear as a musical note.

Author’s Note: Yeah, when I thought of the word breakdown I felt I could’ve had Luka comforting Marinette...But this time I wanted to show Marinette comforting Luka because Luka deserves to be vulnerable as well.

And I wanted to show that this relationship isn’t a one-sided deal and Luka needs Marinette as much as Marinette needs Luka.

I hope you lovebugs enjoyed and see all of you next prompt! <3

#pro lukamari #lukanette #lukanette june 2021 #my writing #my fanfiction

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reallyhardy · 3 years

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regent’s open air theatre LSOH (2018) breakdown

act two. continuing on from [this post about act one!]

after the intermission they went back into mushnik’s for ‘call back in the morning’ which featured the ensemble in the number with a bunch of telephones kind of tangling/tying up audrey and seymour with them, but by the end they’d all been disentangled - it looked so chaotic i was so impressed with how well organised it was to free them by the end of the song :’) found a backstage clip showing some ensemble members from this scene:

then it was time for more heartbreak!!! the scene where seymour shows audrey his leather jacket. i kinda loved the jacket itself tbh, it had all this fringe on the back and sleeves (which was another visual call to audrey ii in drag queen form, who wears a jacket with chain “fringe” on the sleeves) and there was a rhinestone plant and ‘seymour’ written in rhinestones. but of course audrey is horrified and backed herself up against the wall and started crying and after seymour threw the jacket away they go into suddenly seymour which was done quite sweetly - seymour handed her his ‘kleenex’ (but it was a wet wipe because she actually did take off her lipstick with it)

ALSO notably there to cast a sinister light on the emotional moment - the mushnik’s shop rotates to reveal the audrey ii plant, which was grinning behind audrey and seymour as they hug at the end of the song. LOVED THIS extremely ominous the fact that the plant was smiling evilly behind them was just chef’s kiss things are about to go horribly wrong.

but anyway. now that seymour and audrey are ‘official’ they kiss!!! kind of. it was more like… seymour leaned in and kissed her nose and then sort of…slid his face down kind of towards her mouth??? it was so awkward but...v cute :’)

and of course now that we’re in act ii things are going a little worse and it’s definitely showing on seymour, who has not been beaming nearly so much and looks pretty stressed out and upset a lot of the time. by suppertime he’s freaking out and looks genuinely so mad and angry with himself when mushnik gets eaten by the plant: which was done by having the plant mouth open, mushnik step inside, and then drag queen audrey ii step up behind and attack while vines close in, and then the mouth closes up:

i think... there was more of audrey ii trying to be flirtatious with seymour either before or after this, but he is much more disgusted by it and doesn’t have to try to snap himself out of it:

(note by this point audrey ii’s wig no longer resembles OG audrey’s, and by now seymour hates her guts.) this continues into ‘the meek shall inherit’ and i loved the staging of this one because the ensemble are still in black-and-white but now wearing these pink-green gloves with pointy ends (so they look like audrey ii’s vines) and they had vines extending out from the scenery/props too, all closing in on seymour who’s freaking out even more.

in this one matt willis made multiple quick changes to play all the different characters trying to buy seymour/the plant, and he was brill each time (this wasn’t all of the looks but it was all i could find from the show trailer:)

oh, and when it came to the “then there’s audrey” part of the song, seymour takes the kleenex from suddenly seymour out of his pocket.

so seymour plots to try and kill audrey ii by grabbing a bunch of weapons (and tying a green rambo-style headband around his head) but before he can get to it audrey comes in with her seymour-costume!!! (she was even shorter next to seymour then because she was wearing converse instead of heels) and argghhh it was just so cute!!! and the sweater she put on was the one she had to come back for during ‘feed me’ which was a cute touch.

(i could only find a design sketch for the main actress in that costume, but did also find her understudy rosalind james in the same outfit.) then... sadness again though because then they go into the ‘would you still like me/i’d still love you’ scene. ‘somewhere that’s green’ plays instrumental while seymour promises he’ll find them a better life. they do their adorable little awkward kiss again and then audrey leaves.

heading toward the end then into suppertime reprise/sominex, and then the confrontation… the whole time me knowing what’s coming i was just like audrey don’t but then of course…audrey does. (also she had another costume change, this time into a half-blue-half-pink nightdress with a transparent pink raincoat on top.)

she steps into the plant ‘mouth’ and audrey ii bites her neck vampire style (so there’s no doubt that she has been wounded, no “she just fell asleep because of the sominex” theory here,) before seymour can get her out.

somewhere that’s green reprise of course i was crying again – the actress kind of played the ‘when i die, which should be very shortly’ line for funnies rather than sincerely BUT. then she went into the reprise and ohhh my god i was so sad watching seymour hold her. i noticed they never really properly kissed on the mouth (because seymour’s bad at kissing) but he was really desperately hugging her and shaking and kissing her all over on her shoulders and her hands and it was DEVASTATING.

after audrey dies seymour kept crying her name which was…i thought a bit much but sure, why not. he was sad. then he carried her to the plant and she stood up and walked backwards so they were looking at each other as she went into the plant’s “mouth” and he held onto her hands as long as he could. (this time there were no vines and the drag queen version of audrey ii wasn’t there either so it was more of an emotional parting than watching a violent/comical death.)

after that seymour tries to kill the plant (drag queen audrey ii was standing above, on top of the mushnik store prop) so he shot at her first with his halloween prop gun and then tossed the boxes of rat poison into the plant mouth, and then of course charged into the mouth and the vines are back and grab and crush him and then he’s dead. RIP that silly fool who i loved.

then it’s don’t feed the plants! the urchins come out and are wearing new outfits and open the number…

then there was the ‘characters come back onstage as plant buds’ version of the ending, but oh my god. this was so much fun i loved it so much. mushnik, orin, audrey and seymour dash out of the plant opening wearing audrey ii-ified costumes and!!! it was amazing. mushnik was in a sparkly green sequin jacket and kilt, orin was wearing his black combat boots and a sequin minidress, audrey was wearing a big poofy 1950s-ish (you know, because of her somewhere thats green dreams) pink-and-blue dress with flowers and little white gloves (and still her glasses) (and i remember as she ran out on stage she mouthed WHAT THE FUCK lmao) and seymour’s was this big puffy clown suit (probably because…he’s kind of a fool) over his blue shirt (now with sparkly red blood on it, implying that his arms/legs have been eaten) and all the ensemble also had similar crazy plant looks, very flytrap with a lot of teeth and big floppy tongues.

seymour and audrey had the little ‘we’ll have tomorrow’ line too which made my LSOH-obsessed ass get tearful again too - they grabbed each others hands for it and !!! my emotions.

there were a few bows after that but then audrey ii interrupted and was like wait we ain’t finished!!! and they did mean green mother from outer space as this huge dance number which was extremely fun. this finale was very similar to how the spongebob musical ends - after the song they tossed huge green beach balls into the audience and had a huge confetti cannon explosion. of course i went nuts for it lmao. and the best part is that THERE IS A VIDEO ON YOUTUBE:

youtube

and then it was over. iirc it took a total 10 hours for my sister travelling there and back in on day, but it was 1000% worth it!!! next post: gonna look at costumes in detail!!!

#little shop of horrors #LSOH #regent's park open air theatre #long post #flashing gif cw

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loved-lefthaunted · 3 years

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What are your thoughts on all the evermore songs?

oh my god. this is such a hard question for me so brace yourself. it’s taken me nearly 2 months to write this out and i still don’t think i’ve managed to encapsulate all my thoughts.

So, I have very strong feelings about evermore. I immediately loved it three times as much as folklore, for a variety of reasons. I can do a song-by-song breakdown alongside my general thoughts of the album below:

Firstly, I want to preface this by saying that I do not disregard the impact that folklore had on me prior to evermore’s release. I am not oblivious to the fact that folklore likely primed me for the sound that evermore had and that my mind was set up for a similar sounding album so was willing to receive it with more open ears.

That being said, I think that evermore is the superior album. The overall emotional range and sonic variety of the album is wider and more thought out. The different songs provide a more well-rounded listen in my opinion and give me much more emotional investment than folklore. Each individual song feels strong and there are far more songs with single potential than folklore.

So let’s get down to it:

1. Willow - iconic. The big sister that cardigan deserves. The song that I wish the Lover album had been. A song so fully devoted in such a soft and sweeet way without feeling sickly. A mature way to dedicate a song to the person that you can’t live without but in a way that doesn’t throw pink confetti at your face and tell single people to fuck off. TAKE MY HAND? OKAY TAYLOR. WRECK MY PLANS? FOR SURE BABES. THAT’S MY MAN? 100% FEEL U GAL.

2. Champagne Problems - LOOK. I AM CLAIMING THE NAME SAMPAGNE PROBLEMS FOR ALL FUTURE CONTENT. I want to be proposed to just so that I can reject them and then get wildly drunk on overpriced alcohol. It’s heartwrenching in a way that Taylor hasn’t been since the likes of Treacherous. It doesn’t throw sadness at you, overwhelm you with tears. It hides heartbreak within a soft piano riff and gorgeous imagery.

3. Gold Rush - a sapphic daydream. i cannot believe this is real. The return of a heart-thumping drumbeat and the most lovely, pure song that just describes the infatuation with someone beautiful and how you can wonder about them and be so happy about them and jealous of them all at once.

4. ‘Tis The Damn Season - this christmas song makes me wish i had a boy next door in my hometown that i could randomly sleep with. why don’t i have a fluffy hallmark holiday film based upon this premise? why isn’t there a christmas music video to show me how their interactions work during the holidays and how it differs so vastly with their normal lives? Why can i feel both the distance and the closeness that these two people feel? the cutest dedication to a very un-cute casual relationship. a bittersweet shout out to the people who make us happy for a few fleeting moments spread out over the long haul.

5. Tolerate It - i have very VERY strong feelings about this one. it feels like it both encapsulates romantic and non-romantic love so perfectly. It pairs perfectly with the likes of Closure (more on that later). We all deserve to be celebrated. In a world of people settling for less than they deserve, we should reach for those who deserve us. We are worth it. Find someone who will show us how worthy we are. It’s aching and slow and painful and just....everything. Just because someone has always been there doesn’t mean they deserve to continue to be there. Tolerating you is not the same as deserving your loyalty.

6. No Body, No Crime (feat. HIAM) - IT TOOK 14 YEARS BUT TAYLOR FINALLY MURDERED A MAN IN COLD BLOOD AND I AM HERE FOR IT. MEN ARE TRASH, LADIES. REMEMBER THIS. ENGRAVE IT INTO YOUR TOMBSTONES. TATTOO IT ON YOUR FOREHEADS. MEN AS AN ENTITY DO NOT DESERVE US. MURDER THEM. A YEEHAW DREAM. (I have no strong feelings about HIAM but the existence of Este’s name is a blessing in itself, their backing vocals are a lovely addition and a true testament to their friendship as we know how protective Taylor is about mixing business and friendship through collaborations)

7. Happiness - this song is HURTFUL. a song about growth, a song about finding yourself amidst the loss of a partner, a friend, a family member. a loss so deep that it will hurt you for years to come and take a piece of you away forever. but a loss that you have to be resigned to and grow from and let go of. the slow build of the backing is something i haven’t heard since Holy Ground. Both songs talk about loss and moving on in such starkly different ways but still encompass the feeling of reminiscing on something good and pure and perfect whilst battling the knowledge that it’s over and trying to be happy for the person now that they’re gone.

8. Dorothea - the sweetest girl in the neighbourhood. a childhood friend that we all miss having. a person we watched grow into something massive and successful and we’re so genuinely happy for them. the song encompasses the feeling of a distanced joy. a joy that has nothing to do with you, everything to do with this person that you’d be happy to accept again with open arms but will be equally as happy to watch succeed from a distance. a bouncy backing track and lovely vocalisations that really build a sense of a warm hug and the feeling of soft morning sun on your skin.

9. Coney Island (feat. The National) - alright. so i’m sat on a bench in the cold, wrapped up in a winter coat and a hat and gloves and a massive scarf that covers half of my face. i can see the air when i breathe out. there’s an empty ferris wheel at a deserted fairground and i can remember when it was alive and bustling and when i was surrounded by all of the people closest to me on a late summer’s day. and i miss them. i yearn for that to be back. the way we yearn for a time before covid, before masks and elbow touches and sanitising everything. a time when you could sit around a table with your friends and welcome someone with a hug and visit your family for the holidays. a time of joy that was so overlooked until it was gone. The presence of The National is also a breathtaking addition and truly deserved after Aaron’s input on both folklore and evermore. I’m glad they saved it for this song.

10. Ivy - this song just radiates GREEN. Am I in a forest? Am I just in a greenhouse, watering the plants? The guitar/banjo sounds make me so horrifically nostalgic for Speak Now era. The male backing vocals remind me that Taylor has evolved so far from the girl we used to exclusively listen in conjunction with Caitlin Bird and Liz Huett.

11. Cowboy Like Me - one of the only songs I don’t really care about? it’s not bad, it’s just not great. it’s yeehaw without the accompanying passion. It’s the end of a sad, sad wild west movie. It’s a backing track in a scene of a TV show when someone is going on a journey alone to find themselves. But it’s nothing special.

12. Long Story Short - DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME. THE BEST SONG ON THIS ALBUM IN MY OPINION. THE STRONGEST BEAT, THE NOSTALGIA OF 1989, THE LYRICS OF RED, THE FUCKS GIVEN OF REPUTATION. THE PERFECT IMMERSIVE TAYLOR EXPERIENCE. TRULY A 10/10 ENTITY. I WILL HAVE THIS PLAYING AT MY GRADUATION. I SURVIVED.

13. Marjorie - the loss of a grandparent is always a lot. i’ve lost 2 due to Covid and it’s cut me deeper than I ever imagined. Marjorie is the 50′s sepia toned daydream that sends you flying back to being a child and being taught life’s most important lessons when you were far too young to understand them from someone so much wiser than you. It feels like I’m being taught to live again. Another build up backing track, but in such an uplifting way? A way that makes you think of the sun slowly coming out of the clouds. Of the end of a rainstorm and the start of a new day. Optimism and innocence. Peace and hope.

14. Closure - right, the return of sadness. The use of the clatter and discord in the background. The death of a Big Machine (subtle and perfectly done). She’s doing better. We all are. It reminds me of the friends I’ve lost and crave to have back but know I’m better off without. We have to let go of this. Close the chapter. You don’t even need the epilogue, it’s over. The production makes me so uncomfortable and it’s SO NECESSARY because lack of closure is UNSETTLING. It’s horrifying. It’s devastating. But the lyrics and the power of the song show how strong you can be and how important it is to push through the discomfort and continue to live.

15. Evermore (feat. Bon Iver) - the titular song. The return of Bon Iver’s vocals and the lone piano background are truly something to be commemorated for years to come. Although it lacks the painstaking hurt of Exile, this is one of her most simple pieces of artistry on this album and it’s BEAUTIFUL. Something that feels bare and raw. A song that cuts deep and shows us the true core of what she’s currently feeling right now: that although pain might feel forever, it’s not. all pain, much like joy, is fleeting and we have to feel it but we need to remember that it’s only a piece of our experience and place it into context. The song veers on self-pity and wallowing in hopelessness until the latter third, where suddenly hope rises out of the ashes alongside a slightly padded out production from Bon Iver’s vocals. A strong end to the album. This song sets us up for future albums on a note of optimism. It’s a new dawn.

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kayteewritessteve · 4 years

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Beautifully Unfinished - 1/8

Description: One foolish outburst, one moment of weakness at the worst possible time, and everything goes up in smoke. Who knew finally voicing your true, deep-rooted feelings, would lead to the complete destruction of your most cherished friendship?

Masterlist HERE.

Word Count: 1,130 ish.

Pairing: Modern!Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Swear words. Lots of angst. But if you’ve read my stories before, then you know how this will end.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And I have no beta reader either, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.

A/N2: This mini series has been sitting in my drafts for months, and I think I’m finally ready to share it. It’s pretty much entirely written at this point, just have to finish up a few things, and it will be very angsty as it’s based off the Ella Henderson song Beautifully Unfinished. So anywho, I truly hope you enjoy this mini series! ❤️❤️❤️

The Present.

The Sunday summer shower pelts down against the living room window in front of you. The weather matching your eyes, your emotions and your life in this moment. The only sounds around you in the deafening silence of the room, is the tick tock of your wall clock and the rain tinging on the window.

Your heart is still pounding in your chest. Your lips still tingle from where his touched, the remnants of his kiss feeling like a bruise upon them now. You still feel like you can’t breath, but every time you are with him somehow you forget to breath, so that’s not a new feeling. Though this time, that feeling goes along with his touch, like his finger tips are tattooed upon your skin. The memory and feeling of his hands on you, replaying over and over in your mind. It had felt so natural, so normal, so right.

But it wasn’t. It was all in your head. Because this was it. This is what you asked for. This is how it would all end. Your life long friendship, your life long crush. Though it was always more than just a crush. He was your world, in every way imaginable. And that fact alone smothered you, nearly killed you.

How you could love someone this deeply, this intensely, and someone who never actually belonged to you, was crazy.

You felt like a rag doll, like a puppet, like you were always dancing on his strings. The stings that he controlled fully and entirely. Not in the sense that he did it on purpose, more in the sense of your own feelings. You’d do anything for him. When he called, you would go running. If he ever needed anything, you were there in a heartbeat, and with a smile on your face.

I mean, it wasn’t one sided, he did the same for you. Every time you ever needed him, he was there in minutes. He is—was your best friend. Your childhood crush. Your adulthood love. Though he never knew any of this. Not till tonight at least.

You had finally put it all out there. Yes, the timing was horrendous, but that seemed to be a character trait of yours. Poor as fuck timing. You always left everything to the last minute, and this wasn’t any different. Though maybe worse.

He’s getting married, and to the love of his life, in a week. Just 7 days until you lose any chance you’ve ever had at your one true love. At your happily ever after. At the life you’ve always dreamed about, the relationship you’ve always craved, and the man you’ve always wanted. The one all others are put up against, instantly, but never even come close.

But maybe you never actually had a chance to begin with.

You feel a tear slip from your lid and slide unchallenged down your cheek. Surprised you still have any tears left in you at all. You’d never cried this hard, or this much, in your life. You’d managed to hold it together until the door slammed shut behind him, and then you’d lost it. Truly and fully let it all out.

Your face is now slightly dry, as it had been a few hours since he left. A few hours since you placed a bomb in the middle of your friendship and then promptly hit the ignition switch.

You glance over your shoulder at your phone, still laying discarded on your couch. Where it had been forgotten in your efforts to destroy the one friendship that meant the very most to you, and then had been ignored during your breakdown, had been pointedly left there in your efforts to calm your quickly shattering heart.

But now you can’t pretend it isn’t there anymore. It’s jet black screen taunting you, mocking you. There is no change, no notifications, no incoming anything. But you knew he wasn’t going to love you back. He wasn’t going to change his mind. He wasn’t going to just magically start feeling the same way about you.

Just because you’d put it all out there, just because this is how you’d always felt about him, that didn’t change a damn thing. That didn’t instantly make you the one he’d want, the one he’d choose. He loved her. He always had and he always would. She was it for him. Entirely.

You numbly move towards the couch, picking up your phone and checking for anything. But there is nothing. No missed calls, no new texts. No nothing.

You stare down at it in your hands for a moment, your vision still slightly blurry from the tears. You stare at it until the screen goes back to black, just to click the unlock button so it lights it up once again, and instantly hate yourself for checking a second time for notifications. As if the first time you just hadn’t seen them. As if they had just been hiding originally, and now would be sitting there, waiting for your attention.

You come to the crippling realization that you’d had it right the first time. There was nothing, no missed calls, no texts. A loud sob escapes your lips as you chuck your phone across the room in a fit of anger, but probably more so in an outburst of immense heartache. Of paralyzing sorrow. Of embarrassment on a monstrous level. And of the body numbing emptiness you now feel consuming you.

In this moment, you hate him. But yet, you love him. Desperately. And even though you had wished he’d have gone away before you’d put it all out there. Before you’d opened up your soul to him. Once you had done that, and he’d then just left, all you’d wished for was that he’d have stayed. That he’d have picked you. Had chosen you in this, and in his life.

But he hadn’t. He’d picked her. Which you knew was going to happen. Deep, deep down you truly knew opening your mouth wasn’t going to end well. It wouldn’t accomplish anything aside from causing issues, aside from putting a riff between you and your best friend. The one and only person you truly can’t lose, because you will be entirely lost without him. The one person you can never win, no matter how much you try. How much you fight. How much you open up and put yourself out there. Put your heart on the line.

He will never be yours, and you will never be his. Because you can’t force someone to love you. You can’t push someone into being with another, especially one they don’t want to be with. But especially one they don’t love. He might be your first and only true love, but you aren’t his. And you never will be.

Because maybe all you’re meant to be is Beautifully Unfinished...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Whelp, there’s part 1. I’ll be posting a new part every day till this story is finished, so if you don’t want to be tagged on this series, just tell me. And if you want to be tagged, then I can do that as well!

@caps-lockdown @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @tfandtws @boxofteenageideas @wangdeasang @giggleberts @theonelittleone @agentbadbitch @ratwrites @starrystellars @bandsandanimefreak @rockyroadthepastryarchy @lovvliies @cuffski @icesoccerer @alwaysright4 @lilsthethrills @steeeeverogers @zombiepotterfour @mu-mu-rs @ledandan1244 @straightforwardly @denzmallows @xremember-me-notx @gwynethjodie @lollipopdomination @capstopavenger @jemimah-b99 @rcvenqers @justkending @alagalaska @silent-loucidity @sabertooth-potato @pies-wands-and-more @interstellarmess @gabriella69816 @phantom-soilder @wordlesscaptain @captain-hammer-of-asgard @viarogers @pixieferry @kaithezaftig @the-kinkiest-goblin @hysterically-original @badassbeckettswan @heyiamthatbitch @zlixlle @givemehopenfandoms @pretendingandpreposterous @frozen-phoenix17 @emotionallysalty @saturngirlz @atomicsludgedonutbiscuit @ivannagotthebeat @bohemian-barbie @marvelous-capsicle @ivoryhazlewood @steverogersxreader @cjhorseback @jasminecalia @secondstar2disney @jessiedaeum @betsynodak @capricornprince118 @just-ladyme @pinkleopardss @drayshadow @sister-of-stars @wiserebelpartypie @dark-night-sky-99 @patzammit @cs-please @troublermalik @bratstopmom @anika-ann

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #446

“so you can throw me to the wolves / tomorrow i will come back, leader of the whole pack”

Favourite cheese? American. Superman or Batman? I know literally nothing of Superman, but I like Batman. Who are your best friends? The only person I consider a best friend is Sara. Name the 3 most important people in your life: My mom, Sara, and... I suppose myself since I cherish my mental health VERY deeply. Are you currently learning from anyone how to play any instruments? No. Do you know anyone who is overly flirty with people? Girl or a boy? In my personal opinion, yes. I do believe it's possible to be "overly" flirty, considering you can really lead people on. It's a she. Do you believe vampires are real? Not the stereotypical Twilight kind. No. Have you ever been to a porn website? Were you addicted to it afterword? No. I'm really not into that. What is the most disgusting thing you think the opposite sex can do? I think the most disgusting thing anyone can do is commit rape. Would you rather be able to teleport or freeze time? Which one seems best? I feel teleportation is obviously more convenient and useful in dangerous situations. Have you seen the movie Twister? Did the tornadoes look real to you? LKJFL;AKSDJFKLASJDLFKA;WE NOOOOOOOOOO. I am WAY too terrified of tornadoes to watch that. Have you actually been through a devastating natural disaster before? Hurricane Floyd was pretty devastating. I was too young to really remember it, though. Did your mom ever fix your eggs and bacon into a smiley face as a kid? She probably did. What fast food place, in your opinion, has the best french fries? BOJANGLE'S, AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Do you believe one day aliens might take over the planet Earth? I mean, it's possible, but I don't know. Do you remember when they used to actually throw candy out at parades? I didn't know they stopped. Does it bother you when people burp around you or do you do it too? I couldn't possibly care less, it's a natural bodily function. Just because of societal standards though, I don't burp in public, though, but only around family and close friends. What is one kind of music you’d do anything to not listen to in the car? Anything like rap that has a STUPIDLY loud bass that just annoys everyone within a ten mile radius. When was the last time you babysat, if ever? Did anything bad happen? A year or two ago, for my nephew. No one else was free to watch him, so I had no choice. Nothing bad happened, besides nearly having a panic attack. Do you ever talk to people you met online through webcam? Or is that weird? No. Even Sara and I don't do it, because I'm too self-conscious of how I look. Even though she's seen me plenty before irl. Would you ever consider becoming a scientist? Why would you or why not? Well, I majored in biology briefly... I wanted to be a wildlife biologist. I just adore animals and thought I could do it. I just couldn't handle school. When is the next time you’ll talk to the cousin you’re closest to? I'm not especially close to any of my cousins. Are you really into vintage things? Have you ever been into that stuff? Yessss! is writing something that you enjoy doing? Definitely. Would you rather read or write? Write. Would you rather draw or take photographs? If I wind up being very proud of the product, I prefer drawing, but I take pictures far more. When was the last time you cheated at something? I have no clue. Has anyone ever copied off of your homework assignments? I think so? Do you have any pictures of celebs saved to your computer? ... *stares at my folder labelled "Mark"* What would you consider your favorite holiday? Why is this? Christmas. I love the whole vibe of it. The weather, the smells, the treats, my niece's and nephew's excitement... I adore all the lights and decorations, the gratefulness for family and your loved ones in general... I just love Christmas. If you’re a girl, do you have big hips? Too big? I'd say my hips are normal. Girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? God no. Not anymore. Have you ever taken a pottery class before? Nope. How many times have you seen Star Wars? Be honest. Once. I didn't like it. Has your best friend ever made you cry? Yes. But in her defense, we've both made the other cry. Have you ever entered a talent competition? God no, I ain't got shit to flaunt. Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? Yes. If you wear eye shadow, do you put on a dark colour or a light? And if you wear mascara, what colour is it? I only ever wear black for both of those. What is your favourite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. What do you get complimented on the most? My Markiplier tattoo, actually. What do you think of your best friend’s ex? One I REALLY don't like, the other I'm neutral about. Are you biracial? No. Do you have Pop-Tarts in your house right now? No. We try to not buy them, given they're just TOTALLY empty calories. They don't fill me at all. Is anyone’s birthday coming up? No. Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Do you like sour candy? I LOVE sour candy. Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? Alaska, to see the Northern Lights. Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? I haven't driven in well over a year. Hell, maybe two. But no, because I'd need prescription sunglasses. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? God no. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah. What time do you usually have dinner? 5:30-6:30, usually. What’s your favourite meat? Chicken, I think. What is your favourite meal of the day and why? Breakfast. I just enjoy breakfast foods. What colour is your shampoo? White. Tell me a silly little old wive’s tale you believed when you were a child: My older sister got me to believe that if you said a word a ridiculous amount of times, it'd be the only word you knew how to say anymore, lmao. Shut up, I was little. What was the last magazine you bought? Do you subscribe to any? I don't buy magazines. Whose Facebook profile did you last look at? Was there anything that caught your attention? Uh, that's a good question. Do you regret your last relationship? Not at all. What’s better, mashed potatoes or sweet potatoes? Mashed potatoes, though I'm picky with them and the texture. Did you ever used to make cookies, cakes, or pie with your grandma? No. Do you like kids? Not especially. They ask too many questions and can be really rude, even though I know they usually don't mean to be. What are you listening to? I'm watching Gab Smolders play Dino Crisis 2. I finished her playthrough of Final Fantasy X, so now I feel a void in my soul that I am trying to fill with a new series lmao. Do you burn incense? Not really anymore. I'm not against it, I just... haven't. What is your favorite kind of cracker? Cheese-Itz. Can you name a single song by Billy Joel without looking it up? Yeah; I can name a few, actually. My dad loves Billy Joel, so I heard him a lot growing up. "Piano Man" is a classic. Do you like regular peppermint candy canes, or do you prefer different flavored ones [fruits, bubble gum, cinnamon, etc.]? I actually really like the Jolly Rancher ones. Have you ever been kissed while sitting atop the hood of a car? That's actually possible... but I'm not sure. I think I have a faint memory of lying on a car hood with Jason before. What do you think is the dumbest/tackiest piercing? I don't like calling a piercing either of those, like if they make someone feel more confident and attractive, good for them. I can say I'm personally not a fan of the smiley piercing, though. Have you ever requested a song on the radio? No. When I was a kid at a birthday party, though, one of the girls did. Does your mother still take care of you if you get ill? She helps a lot, yeah. What is one song that always brings back memories every time you hear it? Honestly, too many. I attach way too aggressively to songs. Do you currently have any pimples? Not currently, no. Did anything disturb your sleep at all last night? Ugh, yes. I couldn't sleep for shit. How does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? I have only seen one picture of Jason with the girl he dated after me and it. Set. Me. On. Fucking. Fire. It's pathetic. If you’re not in college, why? All it did was give me emotional breakdowns. What do you think about MTV? I am way too out of the loop on what goes on on any TV channel to answer this. What was your very first day of your very first job like? What’d you do? How long did it take you to get the hang of it, and feel comfortable with working? This was waaaay too long ago... All I remember is actually being hopeful, though nervous. I never got to the point of feeling comfortable there. Or at any job. If you have a dog, are they friendly to strangers or other dogs? We don't have a dog, but we do have a cat that is EXTREMELY skittish around strangers. Someone he doesn't know comes through the door? He's bolting to hide. Do people ever comment on or joke about your driving? Well, I got flipped off once by a driver, so... I'd consider that a silent comment. I, to this day, don't know why they (it was a group of guys) did it, but it's stuck with me. What was the last thing to move you? Are you easily moved or inspired? The ending of FFX alsdkfjkaljlkwjer. And yes. If you`ve ever seen your very favorite band, did you cry when you saw them? Was it like a dream come true? If you`ve never seen them, do you think you would? I haven't, but I probably would a little bit. Of all the reality competitions you’ve watched, who are some of your all-time favorite contestants and what shows were they from? From America's Got Talent, I adore(d) Landau Eugene Murphy Jr., as well as Prince Poppycock. I keep up with them both on Facebook. Ever had a friend named Alex or John? One of my closest online friends was Alex. A couple years ago she just... got a boyfriend and fell off the face of the earth. Are you happy with your relationship status? I mean... no, I'm ridiculously lonely, but being single is for the best right now. What kind of stuff do you like on your hot dogs? Just ketchup and mustard. Have you ever been in a spelling bee? No. What is the most annoying thing that your parents do? Mom absolutely always assumes she's right. Dad repeats himself like CRAZY. Would you say you’re someone who has good manners? Yes. Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Actually, the doctors couldn't determine mine (or any of Mom's kids') because my legs were ALWAYS crossed when they did ultrasounds. Mom says she "knew" I was a girl, though. Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? I'm addicted to caffeine, yes. Who makes the best desserts in your entire family? Hm, I dunno. Do you have good dreams or nightmares more? I have very severe sleep apnea that results in very violent nightmares almost any time I sleep without my APAP mask. Even WITH the damn mask, I have them a lot. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? *shrug* Do you have trouble reading small fonts? Yes. I used to find it aesthetically pleasing, but my vision is just too bad now, even with my (shitty) glasses. Do you know anybody that believes that magic/witchery truly exists? I think so. Do you find watching animals in their natural habitat to be exciting & fascinating? Absolutely!! The last time you had sex: did you want it, or did the other person want it? ... You know it's supposed to be a mutual desire, right?? What does your sibling(s) call you? "Britt." Has anyone you’ve known claimed to be psychic? Maybe? I'm unsure. Did/do you believe them? Hell no. I don't believe in psychics and believe people who claim to be so are manipulative pieces of shit. Is anything annoying you right now? I am bored to an inexplicable level askldjfla;wejlr. Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? Yeah. Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents or someone else? No. Have you ever felt abandoned? Well yes. By definition, my dad abandoned our family. Where are you? I’m in my bed. What’s been the worst part of this day? I've just been so, so bored. I'm sick and fucking tired of dealing with anhedonia. Who last encouraged you to better yourself? My therapist.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''throne'' by bring me the horizon

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atiny-piratequeen · 4 years

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Character Analysis: Jeong Yunho, ‘Father Earth’

Name: Jeong Yunho

Languages: English, Korean, Gaeilge (Irish), Spanish, French, Dutch, Egyptian (Post Transformation), Arabic (Modern Day), Japanese (Modern Day), Mandarin (Modern Day)

Crew Position: Surgeon/Doctor

Powers: Terrakinesis/Earth (Inherited from Egyptian God, Geb)

Compass Position + Arrowpoint Stone: North Eastern Facing, located on his left hip, Green Zircon

Eye Color: Honey Brown (Natural)/ Ice Blue (Demonic Form)

Hair Color: Brunette (Natural)/ Blonde, Dark Roots (Demonic Form)

Tattoos: A Robin, Cerasee, the Rod of Asclepius, an Amaryllis Blossom, and a Cup of Tea, all across his upper back/shoulder area.

Likes: Animals, Making Fruit Teas, Tending to Gardens, Reading, Capoeira, Cuddling

Dislikes: Greedy Doctors, Bitter Food, Neglectful Authority Figures

*The above artist rendition of Geb used courtesy of the game, Smite

Jeong Yunho.

A kind child from a loving family of four guardians. The son of Lloyd, Robin, Valeria, and Mei, Yunho spent his childhood learning how to make tea, gardens, and medicinal salves from plants, all while learning about the human body and the illnesses that plague it.

His smiling face is a treat for the people in town when he and his parents travel to gather supplies. His kind demeanor and the calm, earthy mixture of floral and fruit scents that cling to him often lead to him being inviting enough to all animals. He can befriend any animal effortlessly, something his mother Valeria often teases lightly about.

Surgeon Jeong Yunho

Having sought out the man that helped save his loved one, Yunho has dedicated himself to both Captain Hongjoong and the entire Utopia crew. He provides emotional and medical support to everyone in their time of need and his office is often an escape from the hardships that come with being out at sea, all with his serpentine friend Atlas usually wrapped around his neck.

Yunho may be one of the few men who are fully in touch with their…’other’ selves, and as such, he’s been looking into the true nature of their powers and where they come from. Perhaps the gentlemanly voice in his head can provide some answers…

-Mythology-

Geb, also known as Seb or Keb, is the Egyptian God of the Earth. He is the son of Shu and Tefnut, and his wife is sister Nut, the Goddess of the Sky. Geb and Nut bore four children; Osiris, Isis, Set (Or Seth), and Nephthys. (Though some myths will credit Geb with being the father to the god Horus, as well)

Though his name apparently translates to “weak one”, Geb is highly respected and often seen as one of Egypt’s mightiest gods. A protector and a guide, Geb has had many instances in his lore where he is often the support to an allied god through their own journey.

Despite being the God of the Earth, Geb also aided the deceased to the afterlife, and would provide them with food along to ease their long journey into the afterlife. Geb’s name is a powerful one, said to be spoken to heal the sick if their affliction was caused by a natural cause such as a cold or a poisonous sting from a scorpion.

Geb’s laugh is also powerful, said that the sound of his laugh alone can cause earthquakes. The god can have his moments (as most others do), where he will seemingly cause strife for his followers, just because it is within his power to do so. From droughts without warning, to being the reason there is a huge, near uninhabitable desert isolating Egypt from the ancient world, Geb was no stranger to flexing his power and causing hardships.

Despite this, he had his kinder moments, such as the fertile lands surrounding the Nile River. Just as he would cause a drought without warning, Geb would also bless followers with bountiful harvests, with a surplus to keep their livestock alive and healthy for day to day life.

In ancient depictions of the two, Geb and his wife, Nut are depicted with him lying below her as she stands above him in the shape of an arc, covering him, but never touching him. Geb is reclining, often with his knee pulled upwards, as a show to represent the intimacy between the earth and sky. His limbs are often metaphors for the valleys, mountains, or hills.

The most common depiction of Geb himself is that of a dark skinned man with a crown. Sometimes his skin is green. This is to represent the fertile soils of The Nile and growth of crops in the area. He is also often depicted with a goose on his head, as it is his sacred animal. He was also said to be able to transform into other birds, leading to the name “The Great Cackler” (which, given his earthquake laughs, watch out with that one-).

He is also associated with snakes, and less common depictions will have him as part man, part snake. In the Book of the Dead, Geb was credited with giving birth to the serpent Nehebkau.

-Power Applications/ Demon Transformation-

When Yunho unleashes his full power, his dark brunette hair will become mostly blonde. His eyes will go from their honey brown color, to an icy, nearly whitish blue color. A discolored triangle appears over his right eye and his smile is elongated, with earthy, root-like veins appearing around his lips and the edges of the triangular mark. He can see better out of his right eye, as his ‘Demon Self’ can see fully from it and assist during combat.

With the uniqueness of still being able to communicate with his ‘other’ self, Yunho is attuned to the Earth and uses his full body for combat. He mixes Hapkido learned from mother Mei and Capoirea learned from his father Robin with his plant powers to attack with every part of himself, using his powers for extra attacks, or to keep himself steady as he goes on the offensive.

Alongside his strong offensive capabilities, Yunho uses his powers for defense, raising thick trees and slabs of earth to block attacks or keep enemies at bay. He also can wrap vines around enemies to crush them, much like a constrictor would do to prey.

When not in combat, Yunho’s plants have a number of other applications, with the most notable being the ability to grow medicinal and essential plants on the ship for his salves and other medical needs. He can also grow a number of flora for his teas or for Yeosang’s food.

Plants also have a natural bioluminescence, and the kind doctor often uses his powers to brighten the normally undetectable light to a degree where they can be used to illuminate his room without the need for lanterns. His plants also have a strong scent, and are used for aromatherapy, thus turning his quarters into a calm room for the crew to freely enter to destress at any time.

Ideally, Yunho fares the best with his powers in an area that is heavily wooded or has little to no man-made structures to keep the destruction levels low. If the area is too dry, on fire, or cold, he has difficulty summoning plants, as they will often be brittle or too weak for attacks, but he can use his more defensive stone-type fighting, or hand to hand to compensate for the potential loss.

-Character Song Breakdown-

All of the main boys have a song assigned to them in the AtT playlist to go alongside their origin chapters. Yunho’s character song is Voices In My Head by San Holo. I will go over some spoiler things, but if you made it this far, you may know this already.

Unlike some of the other boys’ breakdowns, Yunho’s is rather simple. The song was picked as a hint to the fact that Yunho is the first of the boys to interact with his ‘demon’ self in a manner that wasn’t self-destructive.

Impressed by his nature and lack of strong negativity within him, his demon self grants him full control of their powers and as a result of their mutual understanding, he’s actually stuck around instead of being ‘overcome’ by Yunho taking control. As a result, he is one of the only boys that has the ability to still hear the previous embodiment of his powers. Ever since he realized his transformation and relationship with his ‘demon’ self were different from the others, he’s been trying to dissect why exactly he was different from the others and provide aid to the other boys.

He can hear the voice in his head. Get it?

-I've got voices in my head

What to say when all is said?

I'm still try to understand

Sometimes words don't just make sense

-You've got voices in your head

What to say when all is said?

When you try to understand

But my words just don't make sense

-I say, "Don't make my heart ache

Don't make my heart ache now"

I say, "Don't make my heart ache

We'll find a way somehow"

-Character Blurb-

“Breathe.”

“I am, Yunho-”

“No. You’re not. Look at me.”

Yeosang held his head and shook as Yunho lifted his chin, frowning at the tears running down the smaller pirate’s face. He was headed to the galley when he found him crying, curled up on the floor, in the middle of a panic attack. He wiped his cheeks and picked him up, barely flinching as Yeosang clung to his form, biting his lip hard.

The walk to his room was quiet as Yeosang cried. Yunho set him down in his lap, thumbing away more of his tears before he looked him in the eyes.

“Tell me what happened.”

“I had a dream about her and...and…”

“Say no more. Come here.” He pulled Yeosang against his chest and hummed a low tune, rocking Yeosang as he shook. As he hummed, he raised a few plants to his bedside, the vines embracing the wood of his ceiling, drooping down to bathe the two in a gentle glow as the now-neon blooms let out a collection of scents that made Yeosang’s shoulders relax.

The gentle scent soothed him and after another half an hour he smiled and wiped his eyes, kissing the underside of Yunho’s jaw.

“Thanks, puppy.”

Yunho grinned and pulled him back against his chest, moving to lay down with Yeosang still by his side.

“No worries. I’ll protect you, okay? Rest easy, she can’t hurt you.”

Yunho wrapped his long limbs around the smaller pirate, nuzzling his soft hair as he exhaled gently, the earthy scent of the room relaxing both of them.

-M.List-

#fie writes #against the tide #att character analysis #jeong yunho #Yunho

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moviediary · 4 years

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Grease 2

So, this movie kind of slaps in the worst way ever. You have to watch it with the knowledge that it’s terrible, it makes it a lot better. The songs are pretty underrated, a lot of them are low key bops and I would probably listen to them without watching the movie. It’s a product of its time so of course it’s aggressively heteronormative even though the main guys are very queer coded just like most 80s movies. The main girl is a fine singer, but her character is kind of boring and really just an ass most of the time. She also has no business being in a movie about the 50s (or maybe the 60s it’s not very clear) she is so obviously a quintessential 80s chick from her hair to her leather pants, she’s basically Sandy’s makeover as a person. In my opinion the main love interest could have done a lot better. He spends the whole movie doing the reverse of the first movie, going from geek to biker??? Yeah, they all ride motorcycles now, but they’re still called T-Birds which really doesn’t make sense but nothing in this movie really does. Oh! And Frenchy is in it, she came back to high school to complete her chemistry credits?? The whole movie is a mess but honestly, I enjoy watching it. I’ll watch it again, I already have.

Basically it’s the first movie but gender swapped and with a talent show and biker gangs.

The T-Birds really make this movie, they’re the most interesting characters in it. Their leader Johnny is funny and likeable despite being a dick, he has very obvious vulnerability and growth during the film which makes the audience not hate him. His goons are hilarious, they have some of the best lines in the movie and I actually laughed out loud at some of the shit they said. I could do without the gratuitous sexualization of high schoolers but what can you do. I don’t really understand why they have beef with this 20-person biker gang of full-grown adults that apparently have nothing better to do than antagonize 4 teenagers but hey I get it they need a common enemy. I also get that they were going for anger and jealousy when Johnny looked at Michael every time he was being his sexy mysterious biker persona but maybe they should have told him that because that definitely isn’t what’s coming across in his face. He has the biggest man crush I have ever seen I swear.

Michael, who is apparently Sandy’s cousin even though he’s British and she was Australian, really drives the story; everything happens because he wants to date Stephanie even though the only real conversations, they’ve had are just him being nice and her being a dick the whole time but I guess she’s pretty? So he becomes a biker to be what she wants because she wouldn’t date a hot smart guy with a British accent, no way he’s a loser. I guess. So instead he spends the whole movie trying to live up to her standards which is more than a little infuriating but lets be honest the plot isn’t really why you watch this movie. It really only starts happening in the 3rd act anyway, most of it is taken up by talent show hijinks and motorcycle themed music numbers. And a surprising amount of bowling. I wasn’t expecting the coolest kids in school to have their own bowling league but that bold choice did lead to a very confusing but fun musical number in which we see that Johnny sings high sometimes because he’s basically Danny in even tighter pants (somehow) and Paulette (a pink lady played by Judy Garland’s daughter) has an amazing voice that doesn’t get used enough in the songs.

There’s a lot of odd running gags in the movie that really don’t need to be there. Rhonda’s obsession with her “huge nose” even though it’s really not that big. The random teacher that had a nervous breakdown and keeps almost dying. The teacher whose whole gimmick is that she’s hot and maybe sleeping with her students? But definitely sleeping with the substitute teacher. The fact that Johnny’s right-hand man’s name is Goose? A reference to a movie that hadn’t even come out when this movie take place? I think anyway, like I said it’s really hard to pinpoint when this movie is supposed to take place. Also the T-Birds are on the football team I think? Or they’re running drills during PE which also doesn’t make sense with their characters. I don’t know man the whole movie is so strange they say stuff and then never bring it up again.

The ending is where I think the movie really lets you down. After a very weird talent show scene Where Steph has a very boring song and is all sad because she thinks Michael is dead, they have a party. And the party is a Luau and it’s quite possible one of the whitest things I’ve ever seen its so embarrassing. They have a long song about how they’re having a Luau and then they have a bunch of shirtless guys carry Steph and Johnny into a pool on a big throne/raft thing? And then the biker gang bursts in because they have nothing better to do and everyone’s screaming and throwing things it’s very chaotic. The continuity errors in this scene are absolutely outrageous. Then Michael shows up out of nowhere and Johnny literally quivers when he sees him (yeah he’s straight) and he singlehandedly kicks out all those hardened criminals. Then there’s a very long and awkward moment where they initiate Michael into the T-Birds even though school is basically over at this point and then Steph and Michael make out. One of my most hated scene tropes in movies, the very intimate confession and make out in the middle of a crowd. And then finally we have the last song of the movie in which Steph and Michael start off with a duet and their voices sound terrible together (it’s a sign and I refuse to believe otherwise) and then everyone else joins in and they try way too hard to tie up all the character’s storylines even though as the audience you weren’t really all that invested in greaser number three and pink lady number three’s sex life and most of these things didn’t really need to be sung out loud they were pretty minor parts of the movie. And oh, okay, everyone now ends up in a relationship even Paulette’s younger sister who I thought was in like, middle school but now I guess she’s dating the dumb guy from the T-Birds but they’re all seniors?? Okay…yeah, the ending fucking sucks it’s the worst part. The song is long and boring, and the choreography is bad but then they recap a bunch of the better songs during the credits and it’s all fine again!

Overall, the movie isn’t nearly as bad as I’ve heard other people say, I’ve seen much worse. And the thing is, the bad parts are kinda what makes it great in the first place. It’s kind of like when they made mean girls 2. It’s not really a sequel because non of the actually important characters are in it (except for Frenchy but she’s only there for like 10 minutes tops). It’s a cash grab but not the worst one. The songs are fun, and the characters are pretty fucking funny if you ignore how weird it is that they’re all like 30. I’d say watch it if it’s free to stream, don’t rent it. I probably get more out of it than a normal sane person because I read into character’s and their emotional connections way too much I basically am rewriting it in my head. I doubt anyone would be interested but I definitely broke down all the characters and their motivations and tried to figure out their actions, also known as me trying to create queer characters off of very unstable reasoning. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. Anyway, the people in this movie are pretty hot and most of the songs kinda slap so even if the plot is questionable other things make up for it.

As of now this movie is available for streaming on Amazon prime.

Final Verdict:

On my scale 7/10

Actual good movie scale 4/10

#grease #grease 2 #movie review

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chilling-seavey · 4 years

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Lucy Elizabeth Seavey was born on June 24th, 2024 at 1:56pm, brought calmly into the world from the comfort of home. She was 7lbs 11oz and 20 inches long with a full head of light blonde hair and bright blue eyes and the moment she breathed her first breath, her parents fell just in love with her than they had with her two older sisters – especially Daniel who cried his eyes out when she was born.

Florence and Daniel had two babies well before they got married yet alone engaged as life had a few unplanned tricks up its sleeve but, on their wedding night, the newlyweds agreed that they wanted one more baby; their one chance to things ‘the right way’. So they came back home from their honeymoon pregnant and unbelievably in love and spent the next few months preparing their apartment for their third child’s arrival. After two stressful pregnancies, Florence wanted nothing but the epitome of calm for this last one so they worked with a midwife and got a homebirth set up for whenever baby girl #3 was set to arrive. Lucy’s birth story can be found here if you’re interested!

For the other two girls, Florence had chosen their names since she was technically a single mother at the time of the birth certificate signings, but with Lucy, Daniel and Florence went through list after list together almost every night before bed to find the perfect name together. By now you know that Daniel had a bit of a music obsession and he was really searching for a name that meant just as much to him that Florence liked as well. Lucy was named after a song by The Beatles (Daniel’s favourite band), Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, which Daniel did not know was about LSD until his daughter was already a year old. He had a bit of a mental breakdown over that: “I named my baby daughter after a hallucinogenic drug?! What kind of father does that?!”. Elizabeth was simply another old fashion regal name that Florence adored and it flowed so nicely with her first name. Lucy Elizabeth; their littlest princess.

It was already a short name so there wasn’t much room for nicknames but she was Lucy Lu to her family and Lu-Lu to her sisters, princess to Daniel for reasons stated above – she was their littlest princess and Daniel’s own sweet little mini me. She might have had her mother’s blonde hair but she had Daniel’s eyes, nose, and infectious smile…definitely a Seavey with those beautiful genes.

Lucy had always been an independent girl; she was the earliest of her sisters to walk and talk, and her favourite phrase as a baby and toddler was “me do” as she was determined to do things herself. Despite this fierce independence of hers, Lucy always held her family close and loved to spend time with them – Christmas had always been her favourite time of the year since they got to visit Daniel’s parents and siblings in Vancouver. She was a sociable girl and loved to talk since the moment she could, making up all sorts of stories through every part of her day, especially to Daniel. They called Lucy ‘Daniel’s Shadow’ because she was always rushing after him wherever he went from the day she could walk (and even before that as she always demanded to be picked up by him). The poor man could hardly go to the bathroom without the baby toddling after him. He learned to lock the door the hard way.

When it came to her interests, Lucy was the daughter who had a knack for music, she was Daniel’s little musical prodigy. He tried to get all of his girls interested in at least piano from a young age but Clementine got bored of it too easily and Penelope just could not get it right…with Lucy, Daniel went in to their first home lesson with low hopes but she caught on almost right away; even Florence was shocked at how easily it came to her pre-school daughter. Of course, this was a dangerous game as she often woke up in the middle of the night to Daniel and four-year-old Lucy sat at the grand piano in the living room at 3am punching out a few tunes in their pyjamas. He just couldn’t help himself.

Daniel took it upon himself to teach Lucy everything that he knew about music and he brought her to his studio often to not only give her music lessons but teach her about producing as she got older. By the time she was fourteen, Tuesdays and Thursdays after school were the days when Lucy would take the subway to the studio and spend the remainder of Daniel’s workday working with him and making music. It was the reason why Clementine and Penelope always called Lucy his favourite child. But Daniel didn’t have a favourite; he loved all his girls the exact same. He just had an extra thing to connect with Lucy through. Lucy had started piano lessons by age four, guitar at seven, cello at nine, and singing lessons off and on throughout her elementary school years and into high school; all taught to her by her father which definitely saved the family a lot of money. In high school, she was in the performing arts program for instrumental music (she played cello in the band but could also pick up the flute if they needed) and theatre. She dabbled in a little dance as she grew up too; ballet, tap, and musical theatre. She really gave multi-talented Clementine a run for her money sometimes. High school allowed her to really blossom in theatre, always in awe by musical films and live theatre on their one family trip to New York and she saw her first Broadway show. Daniel was her go to for music but her Uncle Christian was her go to for acting since he majored in it in college himself and Lucy called him often for advice or video chatted him to run lines for her school plays.

School wasn’t really Lucy’s first priority other than the arts. She did reasonably well in school but could have really shone if she applied herself; and she got into arguments with Florence a lot about it, her mother trying hard to get her to put the same amount of dedication into her school work that she put into her music. English and math and science and the sort never interested Lucy though, and she could never bring herself to work hard in those generic subjects since all she wanted to do in life was musical theatre; a perfect mesh of her music and her acting. She begged her parents to let her apply to art schools for university to major in musical theatre but they were concerned because it wasn’t a very promising career for post-graduation. On their trip to Vancouver for Christmas for her senior year, Lucy confided in Christian and he woke up at 4am one day to sneak her out across the bay to the city of Victoria to tour the Canadian College of Performing Arts and be back in time for supper. Lucy absolutely fell in love with the campus and the program and she came back to her grandparents’ house absolute beaming and thrusting the pamphlets at her parents, rushing out everything she learned and planned from the tour. Christian’s cheeky grin at his brother and sister-in-law’s unimpressed glares was magazine worthy. So Lucy moved to BC the following year to major in musical theatre at CCPA.

Lucy was very generous, charming, and really too sweet for her own good. She was fiercely independent and sociable and always had lots of friends as she loved being kind to everyone. She always felt emotions strongly which often allowed for harsh mood swings is someone questioned her character, passions, or her family. She loved being surrounded by people and tended to fall in love the ‘fastest’ out of her sisters. She had a few boyfriends while growing up, her most serious one during her senior year was her prom date and left her with a pregnancy scare at nearly eighteen and Daniel almost died and went to heaven when she came to her parents crying in fear; not only because that was his little girl but because her boyfriend always reminded him of Florence’s jerk off of an ex, Matt. Thankfully, all was well, the pregnancy test was negative, and Lucy moved across the country for school. She had a few quick romances over there, often fueled by sudden passion and momentary infatuation rather than love per se but she fell hard for her university dance coach, Xavier, in third year. He was only a few years older than her and both of them seemed to have an attraction they couldn’t deny, but Lucy let him chase her for a bit before they finally went on a few dates and made it official. Daniel was not impressed that he was the last one to find out about that and through his brother, Tyler, of all people. Since when did Tyler know more about his daughter’s life than he did? Regardless, Xavier was a good guy and when Lucy brought him home one summer, Florence and Daniel knew they were a perfect match.

For those of you interested in astrology, Lucy is a Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, and Libra Rising.

She is the most religious out of her family and even as a kid would shout “Thank you, God!” before eating her dinner. Her favourite colour is gold or literally anything that sparkles, she loves all genres of music but has a secret playlist of early 2000s punk rock, she has her parents’ initials tattooed on her ankle, and her favourite meal always has been chicken nuggets and she lives off of them in university.

Lucy’s songs are:

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by The Beatles

Elizabeth by Julia Jacklin

Face Claims:

Baby Lucy’s face-claim is Pose LaBrant (@/posierayne on Instagram). These photos are not mine, all credit belongs to her

Teenage Lucy’s face-claim (ABM2 Era) is Mackenzie True (@/macktrue on Instagram). These photos are not mine, all credit belongs to her

#anything but mine #✨#daniel seavey #why dont we #oc #character profile

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rowanfoster · 4 years

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{ odeya rush ♔ twenty-three ♔ she/her } well, well, well if it isn’t rowan foster running around peach hollow. legend has it, she comes from tangerine towers and has lived here her entire life. if you’re wondering what she’s been up to, i hear she’s a make up artist / freelance musician for a living. she has been known to be impulsive yet insightful. a word of advice to her, always look over your shoulder. you never know who is watching.

why yes, it is i, admin kim, with another character that should’ve been kept in the drafts of my mind. if you’ve not met daysia or serenity, here’s a lil low down on me. i’m 26, i use she/her pronouns, and live on the east coast. i thrive on writing angst and my animal crossing villagers being happy. also caffeine. i luv chris klemens. most likely to have a mental breakdown on twitter. meet rowan! trigger warnings for mental illness, bipolar disorder specifically, and inpatient treatment

have a playlist and a pinterest board dedicated to her

rowan celeste foster was born may 27th, 1996. she’s the oldest of two, a baby sister coming to the scene in 1999.

her family is extremely close. they’ve been in peach hollow their whole lives. she grew up in a crowded house on blueberry boulevard, crammed in with her mother, father, sister, maternal grandmother and maternal grandfather. rowan never knew peace or privacy growing up – it just wasn’t possible with that many people which has really contributed to her somewhat isolated adulthood

her mother is a charge nurse at peach hollow general, working on the emergency room floor. her father is a retired car salesman. her grandparents moved into the house when her sister was born in order to help take care of the girls while their parents worked full time. rowan is especially grateful for their care, because she feels like she’d be a little more sour had she been raised by absent parents.

growing up, she shared a room with her younger sister. they told each other everything because they had no choice not to. they both developed an interest in make up and music at very young ages, but rowan particularly took to those things while maci took more interest in sports. when rowan was gifted her first ukulele at age 6, maci got her first basketball. they are polar opposites, but maci was the only person rowan really confided in as a child and an adolescent.

she’d always been rather moody. tantrums and fits were nearly unavoidable. her self esteem lacked before she even had a chance to develop any confidence. she was always the try hard, the girl who stood out because she was just a little different, the emotional one, the one the other kids didn’t want to mess with, not because she’d fight back, but because she would absolutely lose it. there were countless times where rowan ended up in the guidance counselor’s office, waiting on her grandmother to show up and bring her home. that was the beginning of their problems.

her mental health really started to decline in her mid teenage years. she spent hours upon hours in her room, writing songs, playing guitar, practicing make up looks – she’d go days without sleeping and snap at anyone who crossed her path. she got into screaming matches with everyone in the house, only to find herself crying in her bed for the next few days. she started missing days at a time from school, while her artistry thrive, the rest of her crumbled. her grades, all of it.

eventually, this resulted in her parents yanking her out of peach hollow high and putting her in counseling, which lead her to a psychiatrist and a diagnosis of bipolar disorder at the age of 17. while it made sense, she dreaded taking the medications. they numbed everything. her writing suffered, and while her moods weren’t swinging from the trees anymore, she feared that this empty feeling was worse.

she finished her high school diploma in homeschooling with her grandmother while maci went on to thrive in school. the attention shifted to her, and rowan couldn’t really blame them. she turned 18 and started performing in clubs, bars, and anywhere she could get in. ps her voice is a mix of bishop briggs & mary lambert. the thrill of performing to small crowds sucked her in. she began to gain an even smaller following on social media, mainly the locals following her. every once in a while she’ll book a show in atlanta and she’ll make the long drive just to sing in front of a bit of a larger crowd. she’ll gain a few followers from those shows, but this still isn’t her main source of income.

most of her money comes from the make up artistry she does through pop of peach. she doesn’t go in every day, but when someone has an event scheduled or needs their make up done for a dance or something, she’s there. she tries to spread things out bc she’s always late lmao and finds it hard to stick to a schedule

she was doing so well for a few years, even moved out of her parents’ house and into an apartment at the towers. that’s where she really found herself, made some real friends and built relationships that were good for her. however, she missed a few doctor’s appointments and was discharged from her psychiatrist’s office. she went off meds, and for a few weeks it was fine. when she ran out of meds, the next few weeks were okay as well. it was when every single drop of medication had drained from her body that things got bad.

rowan was missing appointments she scheduled at pop of peach. she was spending far too much time out at nights, giving in to alcohol for the most part. she tried not to touch any drugs, but drinking became a nightly thing. she’d perform, then spend the rest of the night partying with whoever she could find at the venue.

one night in atlanta after a particularly shaky performance, rowan found herself in a dark place and simply went into the women’s bathroom to calm down, but police say they found her laying flat on the ground, refusing to respond to anyone. she vaguely remembers the end of the manic episode, but it did land her in the emergency room for a change in mental status.

much to her chagrin, they admitted her overnight before transporting her to skyland trail, a mental health facility in atlanta. she spend about two and a half months there getting medications regulated and learning new coping mechanisms. she was discharged about two weeks ago and finally made it back to peach hollow and her apartment.

she’d lead everyone other than her family and maybe one or two other people that she was away on a musician’s retreat, but really, was in inpatient treatment.

she’s currently working full time as a make up artist at pop of peach and performing when she can, but doesn’t really go outside of peach hollow

fun facts & personality

rowan despises small talk. conversations about the weather or political climate don’t stimulate her and she gets snarky pretty easily. it isn’t that she wants to come off rude or unapproachable, but nine times out of ten, small talk is fake and she feels as though she doesn’t have the time or energy to indulge in it. ask her about the sky or some shit. she won’t shut up

she has a tendency to overshare, aside from what’s been going on in the past few months. her lips are sealed tight about that. however, she’s open to talking about her mental health and is a big advocate for erasing the stigma. this makes rowan a very good listener and a huge supportive presence for anyone struggling. she’s the mom friend, and no matter what time of day or night, if someone says they need an ear, she’ll go to them. she knows what it’s like to be alone.

despite her past and her demons, rowan finds a way to put on a smile. it might often be snarky or sarcastic, but rarely is it insincere. she’s an empath and feels everything so very deeply, but can easily put it away when necessarily.

her apartment is her safe haven. she rarely has company. it isn’t really her thing. she prefers to go to other people’s places. she has her record collection proudly displayed on her living room wall, all the plants you can imagine, incense burning whenever she’s home, and a scottish fold munchkin cat named loonette after her favorite childhood tv show, the big comfy couch. she has hopes to get another cat named molly to match. you know, because we’re all clowns !

she takes great pride in her instagram. it sounds superficial, but often times, rowan will post a good picture and then link to her next show in hopes that somebody will come based on that. while she does have a passion for make up and a second instagram for it, ultimately, she’d like for there to come a time where she can live solely on the money she makes through music

catch her driving her old ass ford focus blaring 00s alternative, mainly fuckin paramore bc she’s heart eyes for hayley williams

wanted connections if ya made it this far!!!!

childhood friends – those who she’s known since elementary school. they’ve most likely watched her go through her many trials and tribulations in class. these could be acquaintances, close friends, or even a ride or die or two.

bullies – people who fucked with her through school. it’s essential that they’re on bad terms currently, but perhaps an enemy turned friend or romantic could be fun??

group therapy pal – this would be super fun and might entail the person finding out about her secret…. msg me for deets

exes – there will be a couple of these, gender does not matter. i’d like to find one that she was dating when she went into treatment and maybe hasn’t seen/spoken to them since they’ve been back, first love, high school sweetheart?? omg possibilities are endless

flirtationship – self explanatory, gender doesn’t matter she’s pan

any other ideas literally lmk!! thanks for reading ♥

#ok.... one more time kngrdjsnh

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anastasiaskarsgard · 4 years

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Did Roman and Haley ever have any happy times?

Perfect

Being a CEO of a multi billion dollar corporation at eighteen, left a lot to be desired. He’d only been in charge for a few months, but between work, and being a father he felt like he was on his way to a nervous breakdown.

What he was doing walking through a park, when he should be getting his ass to work, was anyone’s guess, but something made him pull over and go to “their” tree.

(Flashback)

“Hey rich boy! My mom said that your daddy rather be dead than married to your mom!” A short round little boy with red hair and snagged teeth yelled at the tall lone boy.

“I bet he killed himself cuz you’re such a loser!” A blonde friend of the red head snarled. Two more boys Behind them laughed loudly.

The beautiful tall boy just ignored them kicking the dirt under his expensive shoes. Although he couldn’t be more than 9 or 10 he carried himself like someone that had seen far more in his life than his years should allow.

“HEY!!!” A high pitched voice took them all by surprise.

Roman (that was the beautiful boys name) looked up to see a beautiful, slightly dirty girl about his age. with golden pigtails that were crooked, yet still framed her delicate face, and big blue eyes, she was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. She looked furious, and Roman secretly prayed she wasn’t mad at him. He’d never admit to being scared of a girl, but this girl made him feel uncharacteristically nervous.

“Oh man! Tell your bratty cousin to go away,” the red haired boy moaned.

“EXCUSE ME? Bratty? Brat-ty? You’re gonna pay!” With that, she grabbed a fallen branch that was long and wispy and started to mercilessly whip the red haired boy with it.

“Mike! Matt! Control her or I’ll -“ the boy yelled in between whacks.

Mike and Matt looked at one another and then ran away laughing, leaving their friend to deal with the crazy girl.

The blonde boy lurched forward to grab the girl but was blocked by Roman. “Mind your business rich boy!” He yelled before landing a punch square on Romans jaw, dazing him a bit.

“Run! Let’s ditch these freaks!” The blonde yelled and the two boys took off together, not once looking back.

Roman rubbed his face and turned to leave but then felt a small hand gently grab his arm. “You ok? Let me take a look at you. My mommy is a nurse!”

Roman stared wide eyed at the girl, but didn’t fight her efforts. He watched her as she examined him from different angles, noting how her pigtails swayed with every move of her head. She gently ran her fingers over the already swelling lump and winced when he fliched.

“Open your mouth and close it.” She instructed.

He obliged her and was rewarded with her dimpled smile. “It isn’t anything permanent. You’ll be ok.”

“Are you really related to the twins?” He asked distastefully.

“My aunt married their dad yesterday. That’s why we are in town so I guess I’m related to them now. They’re all jerks, I heard what they said to you. My daddy died too”

“I bet not on purpose like mine tho.”

“Mommy said it was an accident, but he died of too much medicine and he was a doctor.”

“That seems weird. Maybe he was bad at it.” Roman tried to reassure her. Comforting anyone besides his sister was strange to him.

“Do you want to be my friend? I’m Hailey. They named a comet after me!” She giggled, dancing around.

She was magnetic. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she spun and twirled to a song only she could here. Although it was far more silly behavior than he was used to, it was refreshing. In a world as dark as Romans, it wasn’t often he found a source of light besides Shelly. But that realization made him worry his darkness would extinguish her light.

“I’m Roman and nobody is friends with me. You don’t wanna get made fun of.” He said forlornly. He liked this girl very much, but didn’t want to see her get picked on because of him. He expected her to leave, but she surprised him again.

“Nonsense! We’re a team you and I!” She sang, grabbing his hand and running to nowhere in particular. He couldn’t do anything but follow.

She smiled back at him and he couldn’t help but smile back. He knew his nanny would be mad he’d run off, but he wanted to spend all the time he could with this strange girl. They ran till they were out of breath, and then fell into the grass, rolling down a small hill. He got up and tried to brush off his clothes without much success. He wasn’t supposed to ever get dirty.

Still giggling, Hailey picked some flowers nearby and made a crown, before marching over, and placing it on his head. “There, now you’re king and no one can be mean to you ever again!”

Roman smiled for the umpteenth time since he’d met this strange girl, and took the crown off, and placed it on her head, “if I’m king, then you’re my queen and my queen will always have the best of everything.”

She laughed and then pecked him on the cheek before running away yelling, “tag you’re it.”

Just then his nanny marched into view “Roman Godfrey! What on earth are you doing over here with this urchin girl?” She said looking down at Hailey with distaste. “What would your mother think if she saw you with some dirty little girl, laughing and carrying on?”

Roman’s blood boiled. “Apologize to her right now!” He yelled.

“Excuse me? I never-“

“Apologize to my friend Hailey or I will tell my mother whatever I need to say, to make her make sure I get another nanny.” He bit out.

The older woman looked unsure as her eyes snapped between the two juveniles in front of her, trying to decide what action to take. Her eyes met Roman’s and it was as if her mind went blank as her face lost all semblance of any emotion.

“Apologize now.” Roman growled.

Hailey watched as the woman turned toward her, walked over in front of her, dropped to her knees and begged her forgiveness. Hailey was so surprised, she didn’t know what to say. She looked over at Roman in embarrassment, but forgot her predicament completely when she noticed blood falling from his nose.

“Oh my God Roman! You’re bleeding! What happened?” She panicked running over to him, unsure of what to do.

��I don’t know, i got this terrible pain in my head and it just started to bleed,” he said helplessly, with nothing on hand to curb the bleeding.

“I have an idea,” Hailey cried out as she sat down and removed her shoe and sock. “Here use my sock, it’s better than nothing.”

He hesitantly took the sock from her outstretched hand and pressed it against his nose. He was surprised to not smell any foul odor. He didn’t want to think about what he was doing though so he checked on his nanny, who was still on her knees, staring dumbly off into the distance.

“Well I better go back, I was only supposed to be getting Matt and mike for dinner so they’re probably wondering where I am.” She looked down at the ground sadly, not yet leaving, but seemingly out of words.

“Will you be here tomorrow?” Roman asked hopefully. “I mean I owe you a pair of socks.”

Hailey smiled, and tapped her finger on her lip thoughtfully, “well then I better make sure I’m here to collect.” She waved goodbye and then ran the direction the twins had gone.

(End flashback)

That had been the happiest time in his life. They had spent everyday together, exploring and going on adventures. Roman was kind of figuring out he could make the nanny do whatever he wanted, and eventhough the pain he felt when he pushed her to do as he pleased, Hailey made it all worthwhile.

Then one day she was gone. The twins would only tell him that her mother and her had moved away and were never coming back. Even when Roman tried the eyes trick, they had no answers. They honestly had no idea where they’d gone, and said her mother had fought with their stepmom and stormed out in the middle of the night.

Now here he was, nearly eight years later, standing by that same tree unable to forget that girl. For whatever reason, he’d never forgotten her and eventhough he’d since had just about any woman he wanted, none of them made him miss her less.

He had a reputation as a man whore and he supposed it was probably true but fucking all those women and then casting them aside, was never his intention. On the contrary, he actually was just looking for that feeling he’d felt when Hailey had taken his hand, and run off with him. But instead of feeling completely happy, he felt like he had betrayed Hailey, and he was disgusted with himself and whatever girl was not Hailey. He was insane!

Wasn’t he?

He chuckled as he felt the first few rain drops fall, marvelling at the whole situation, wondering who was in charge of his destiny. Whoever they were, they’re Terrible at it, he decided as he turned around to get back to his truck before the sky opened up. It was bad enough he was late, he didn’t want to be soaking wet as well.

Then he saw her and he froze. Eventhough they had changed and grown in nearly a decade, he knew without a doubt, Hailey was standing before him. He desperately wanted to say something, and honestly was a bit taken aback by his sudden case of cat-got-your-tongue, so he forced out exactly what he was thinking. He took a deep breath. Then another, trying to get his composure back. He appeared far more cool than he felt. He tried to speak again.

“Hailey I’ve missed you everyday,” he stated in a confident clear voice, that sounded far too human. Far too vulnerable for his liking. He mentally slapped himself, but he couldn’t look away from her. He felt that magnetic pull, except it was so strong, it was almost painful. He’d never wanted anything more in his life than he wanted this girl, and dammit Roman Godfrey got whatever he put his mind to.

She blushed the most beautiful shade of pink, and he nearly giggled with glee when those dimples appeared as she smiled warmly at him.

“Do you want to go somewhere? We’re gonna catch our death standing here in the rain I think.” She teased.

He had completely forgot it was raining, unable to see or feel anything beyond her presence. Feeling like a complete idiot, he grabbed her hand like she had done so many years ago, and jogged over to his waiting vehicle. Opening her door first, he helped her inside, and then ran around to his side.

He started the truck and turned on the heat for her, feeling suddenly very self conscious and almost shy. Roman Godfrey never felt self conscious but he wanted to impress her so badly, and was so pleased she was actually sitting in his truck, he was beside himself. He decided he must be in shock. But do people that are in shock, know they are in shock? He wasn’t sure and when he looked over at her, he realized she’d asked him something and was waiting expectantly for an answer. Several moments passed, and she rolled her eyes and smiled, grabbing his hand and making him jump.

“Are you okay? Roman right? You must be him. I google you now and then. The twins won’t ever tell me anything about you. They’re such assholes.” Suddenly she slapped the hand not holding his hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, you probably think I’m like a stalker now...”

Roman chuckled, and reached over pulling her hand away from her mouth. “Don’t hide your face from me, you’re beautiful. And if you want to stalk me, I can have my assistant send you my schedule. Do you have a cell phone?”

“No. I don’t really have anything. I-“ she paused, frowning as whatever she had to say, seemed to be stuck in her throat.

Sensing her discomfort, he pressed forward, “how long are you visiting? Please don’t tell me you’re leaving soon.”

“Well I can tell you that much. I’m NOT leaving anytime soon. My mother died in a fire. Our house burned down while I was staying at a friends house and I guess she didn’t wake up or wasn’t able to get out. Now I have to live with my only family that’s willing to take me, eventhough there’s far too many people in that house already. I am thankful for Aunt Peggy though, she is such a nice lady. Her kids are all jerks but maybe they’ll warm up to me. I don’t know.” She continued. “I start school on Monday, and I have been out looking for a job today since I have nothing and I don’t want to put them out anymore than I already am.”

She looked at him nervously, and tried for a weak smile, but he could see the unshed tears threatening to spill.

Roman had to fight from smiling with every ounce of self control he had. He was elated. She was not leaving, her mother was out of the way, her remaining family couldn’t really accommodate her, she had nothing and no one. She needed him.

This. Was. Perfect.

He had to play it right though. He didn’t want to scare her off now that she was back. She was his. She might not know it yet, but she would be his, and his only. He felt the most violently possessive flash through him at the thought of anyone else with her. He would protect her and keep her safe from everyone and everything.

“Remember when you made me that flower crown, and then you gave me your sock?” He asked her smiling seductively at her.

She chuckled like a little song and blushed again. “Yes! I had no idea you were the kid that owned the whole town!”

“It was sweet of you and now I’m going to return the favor. I still owe you a pair of socks, and add like 8 years of interest on top and by God you’ve got yourself a pretty decent wardrobe.”

Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open. “Oh no Roman! You don’t have to buy me anything! I’m just happy to have found you again. I’ll make do.”

“I don’t like owing people, and you just went through so much. Please let me get you at least a few things for school. Few outfits, some shoes, a few bags, nothing major. I’m a billionaire so I can afford it and nothing would make me happier than to help.” He made a pouty face and playfully put his hands together like he was praying.

She beamed up at him and before he knew it she was on top of him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She repeated against his chest, nuzzling into him as she unconsciously crawled completely in his lap, not once letting go.

She began to shudder a bit and he realized she was crying. He didn’t say anything, he just rubbed her back and held her while she got it out of her system. He smiled into her hair, and realized she smelled like lavender.

He loved the smell of lavender.

She was perfect.

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sierratheory · 4 years

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“Like i don't trust sierra bc of the time she came into Luke's life...” that entire ask but vice-versa too!!! people have said sierra dated dylan from flor and now her old roommate karsen too? as with luke, where was her time being single and figuring herself out before jumping into a new relationship? the twitter likes reminded me of how luke & sierra only see “jealousy” and “misogyny” as a h8ters only reason, which isn’t true 😔

Part 2 It's like they're still letting the other person know they're wrong but the difference is that it doesn't hit them. Why does it cause an overly emotional response and a giant need to prove they are wrong? it's a truth the person has been avoiding/ignoring. Luke or any person don't see the truth, they really don't even though deep down they know it is true (this is why emotional abuse is so dangerous and the victim "can't just leave")

Part 3 and that's why getting defensive and simply defending yourself are two different things. I'd like to point what that anon said about Luke's likes missing the point of what was said and this anon called him a 'dumb asshole' (lol) because he's missing the point. Well he may not realise it but he's missing the point "on purpose" his brain is making him miss the point in order to keep the fantasy that the points that were made aren't factual and are actually offensive (sexism)

Part 4 I swear I could write a book explaining every little behaviour he's adopting but what I really want to point out is that I understand everyone's frustration and regardless of what he's going through, Luke should be held responsible for his actions but we can and should emphasize because he's not fine. I'm saying this because he is following a very worrying pattern and even though Arzaylea was a much worse person than Sierra is,

Part 5, Luke is currently in a worse situation MENTALLY and I know this may cause some confusion and I can explain with more details why I'm saying this but it doesn't necessarily have to do with Sierra. I'm not saying she's not toxic. I do believe she's toxic but she's not nearly as toxic as Arzaylea. The difference is the timing. If Luke had dated Sierra first and Arzaylea later things would be much much worse.

Part 6 Luke was in a very vulnerable place, he was really hurt and he got a taste of what a mentally stable, caring, loving partner is like in Sierra. And I'm not saying these are traits that Sierra has or not. But when you get out of a toxic relationship, when you're at your worst a little love, or sense of love can feel like the best thing in a world. Basically it's an "issue" with the rewarding system in your brain. Very typical in people who go through this kind of situations

Part 7 that's why it is recommended to see a therapist or stay away from relationship because this rewarding system can fix itself and go back to normal or you might need some help. It all depends on how you deal with the situation. Some people get over traumatic experiences quickly and some need time and help. Anyway to keep it simple and short: Luke knew for sure (based on my little knowledge and his behaviour) that Arzaylea wasn't good to him but he was in love and he was making excuses to

Part 8 believe she loved him back (maybe she did love him back but had mental issues, drug addiction, I don't know, I can't judge) but he didn't have the time to heal. He's aware of his past relationship being toxic but I don't think he's aware of the effects it had on his mental health. He shows severe signs of being someone who still carries some luggage. Let me explain, I'm sure he's aware of how awful Arzaylea was and that he did him wrong and he deserves better.

Part 9 but for example, if arzaylea told him constantly that he didn't defend her enough, if she guilt trapped him because of it, if she threatened to leave him or blamed him for her mental issues/breakdowns he's most likely still carrying it with him and that's one of the reasons why he's desperately trying to make it right with this one relationship. It's something that's internalised. So yes maybe Sierra doesn't do much wrong compared to Arzaylea and actually maybe Sierra is like

Part 10 'dang I hate this thing someone said' but that's enough for Luke's brain to make a click, bring back the memories, the trauma and go into overdrive. This is an example but can be used to explain why Luke's trying so hard with Sierra compared to Arzaylea. Another thing that makes this relationship "worse" imo is that Luke's perception of reality wasn't accurate when he started his relationship with Sierra because of Arzaylea and now that little bit of love he feels like he receives is

Part 11 just wow and to him it is what real love feels like this is why your sense of personal worth should never depend on somebody else. And now he strongly believe that despite everything that goes wrong in his relationship, that little 1 thing that's going well is more than enough. he's never had that much so his fighting to keep it because it is sad but it's the most loved he's ever felt and he doesn't see why he could deserve more or how it could get better because to him, thats everything

Wheew, this was a trip to put together. You really did write me a book here, anon. But I completely understand what you’re trying to say. I come from a really abusive family, and even now I have issues where I’ll ask my bf if he’s mad at me and he’s like “you didn’t do anything, why would I be mad at you??!” Becuase I’ve been trained to think I’ve done something wrong if someone’s behaviour changes. And while I agree with most everything you said, I don’t think Sierra is unaware of Luke vulnerability due to the Larzaylea fuck show. That being said, I’m not sure if Sierra dated anyone between Alex and Luke. I don’t believe the roommate story, and none of the other mods do either. There’s no evidence behind it. I don’t know who the other guy is so I can’t speak to that. But she did have a lot more time between her and Alex’s breakup and her and Luke’s relationship beginning. Keep in kind she was still touring with Alex after they broke up, and that could have stunted any healing, but I truly can’t say. Time doesn’t always heal everything. And again I can’t speak to that break up, but I think it says a lot that she went on to drag his name during an interview after. As we’ve seen recently with Selena Gomez, she said she always kept quiet about her personal life out of respect. She wouldn’t even air out dirty laundry in her songs, and eventually she decided that her story was worth being told and she didn’t need to stay silent to protect those who hurt her. But she didn’t give an interview painting herself as an angel and throwing exes under the bus. And I think it says a lot that Sierra immediately went to the media, and even since that Alex has stayed mum on the subject.

I agree with the psychological damage points, and that Luke is likely overcompensating, if the relationship is real. Which in all honesty I’m leaning more towards as time goes on, but I’m still convinced even if they do like/love/whatever each other, modest! has some heavy handed access/control over it. And that could be perhaps to avoid a repeat of the Larzaylea mess, maybe they made Sierra sign a NDA, but I digress. Luke may also be convinced that because he didn’t defend Arzaylea, fans thought he didn’t care about her or was a bad boyfriend. It could have very easily been Arzaylea saying “hey you don’t defend me so you don’t love me, or fans see it as you don’t think I’m important enough to defend” etc. I don’t think Sierra is necessarily a bad person, while I’m entirely convinced Arzaylea was a shit-tier human being.

That being said, I do think she’s very aware that she is manipulating Luke, and taking advantage of the psychological damage Arzaylea did. I think that damage also makes him easier to manipulate or control and let me explain why.

TW - ALCOHOLISM, SUICIDE, VERBAL & PHYSICAL ABUSE

My dad was an alcoholic, and he committed suicide when I was very young. Because my mum left him, because he was becoming more abusive. Unfortunately instead of being the wake up call she wanted it to be, he shot himself and left her a note that said “I hope you got what you wanted”. Now, needless to say, this fucked my mum up really bad. She has never recovered. She has thrown all her emotions into a box, she is very clinical and doesn’t let her emotions control her. Which can be good sometimes but she’s very distant and cold. That being said, my mum married my step dad about 6 years after my bio dad passed away. She was not healed, let me tell you. She never sought counselling and is not on any sort of medication. My step dad was like the perfect man, before they got married, he cooked, he cleaned, and he was okay with the fact she had two young kids, one in elementary school and one just starting high school. But after they got married and he had control, oh everything changed. He isolated her from all of her friends and even her family. He was and still is verbally abusive and on occasion he can be physically abusive, but it’s rare. To her and all of his kids, including my sister and I. If he doesn’t get his way he throws a tantrum, calls everyone awful names and says awful things. He needs to control everything. While I love my step dad because he helped raise me, he is a controlling abusive person. And while he has a lot of psychological damage himself I’m not going to get into that, but know that he has a kind heart, and he does love my mother and he would die for her. But when he loses his temper he says horrible things. And he knows about the abuse my mum suffered at the hands of my bio dad, and how she has never healed. My bio dad told my mum she couldn’t cook, and if she ever left him he’d get the kids even though he was a raging alcoholic, couldn’t hold down a job AND she was doing all the child care on top of a full time job. Like she had the daycare ladies prepared to call 911 if we didn’t show up at daycare when she was out of town for work, but I’m off track here. The point I’m trying to get to is my step dad would abuse my mum, and use things my bio dad did or said to her, to hurt her more. An example of this is, if my mum tried to walk away during one of my step dads yelling fits, he would say “yeah, walk away just like you did with [my bio dad’s name]”. Because he knows she blames herself for leaving him, and she thinks his death was her fault. My step dad knows my mum will never leave him, because of what my bio dad did when she left. He could burn their house down around them and she wouldn’t leave.

With that story I would like to say, please don’t judge my mum or either of my dads. You don’t know the whole story and I don’t want to share all of it. I’m using it as an example because I know it well.

The point in trying to make here, is one it’s very VERY common for people to go from one abusive relationship to another. Because abusers can recognize the signs of a victim, and those who were abused, when treated with even a small amount of love, or kindness often see it as a very big deal. They tend to think they are worthless or don’t deserve it, as they’ve been told many times over. Two, believe it or not, being abused before can make people more susceptible to being abused again. This is because of the reasons mentioned above, they think they are worthless, or are wooed by very small acts, or both. And three, that the new partner can and often will use personal things about the abuse they suffered from someone else, to control or hurt their partner more, becuase they know it’s already a deep seated pain. And while I’m not saying Sierra is for sure 100% doing this, it is very easily a possibility and she could be doing some of it without knowing. Just because a year, or 5 or 10 have gone by doesn’t mean the person has healed, and sometimes new partners open old wounds. This has been a whole TEDtalk sorry y’all. Also disclaimer if anyone comes into the ask box saying rude things about my family it will be deleted and you will be blocked.

#red replies #ask #anon #i need you guys to know this took me over an hour to put together and write my reply to

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k-popscenxrios · 5 years

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Didn’t Ask For This Pt 5 (Roommate!JK x OC)

A/N: You guys are making me so emotional today omg! I’ve never had a story become this popular so fast and I am so eager to give you more of this story! It only gets better and more dramatic from here, and I love me some drama... This chapter and the next were probably my favorite to write so far. It took me like three days to write because of how long my idea ended up being!

Summary: “I didn’t know you hated me so much,” he spoke as he grabbed my wrist and once again turned me around to face him, “and quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve done anything horrible enough for you to hate me to the degree that you do.” “You say that like the hate isn’t mutual,” I remarked as he shook his head. There was a bitter smile on his face as he took a deep breath, “I think you are quite honestly one of the worst human beings I’ve had to come in contact with.”

7.6k words | drama ✞ | fluff ♡ | mention of mature themes ✗

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Finale

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

The three of us decided to ride together to the bowling alley. I sat in the back while Taehyung drove and Jungkook sat in the passenger's seat. I was having a nice time sitting in my thoughts as I looked out the window. Jungkook and Taehyung were both singing along to an English song that was playing on the radio, and things seems so peaceful for that little bit. I closed my eyes and smiled as I started to enjoy their voices singing along with the artist.

I always knew that Taehyung was good at singing, but Jungkook’s voice was a surprise. I had no idea that the boy could not just sing, but that his voice was beautiful. Too bad that beautiful voice is attached to his rotten personality.

“Hey Ari,” Taehyung spoke over the radio as I snapped out of thought and looked his way, “we’re here.”

I looked back out the window as I saw we were in the parking lot of the bowling alley. It wasn’t a very long drive, but that drive felt even shorter than I expected.

“Oh,” I said dumbly as Jungkook snickered and opened his door. Taehyung and I followed suit as we all made our way into the building in question.

I noticed that Chaeyoung’s car was in the parking lot, and I spotted her the second we walked through the doors. She seemed to be the only one that was from our group to be here before us.

“Hey Chae,” I smiled as she rushed up to us. She looked over at Taehyung and then leaned in to me to whisper something.

“Taehyung has gotten hotter omg,” she smiled to me as I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

“Jimin is coming, right?” I gave her a look as she took the chance to roll her eyes.

“Yeah. He texted me about three minutes ago saying that he’s on his way, but I think he lives nearly 10 minutes away.” Chaeyoung responded as I nodded. I turned to see that Jungkook and Taehyung were also talking quietly to each other like Chaeyoung and I had been.

I was about to say something to Taehyung when I spotted the doors open. My eyes looked at them expectantly as I felt nerves wash over me. Jung Hoseok was much cuter in person…

He walked up to Jungkook and Taehyung as they did some kind of handshake thing that I don’t remember them ever doing, even on the dance team.

“Jungkook! It’s been a while since I’ve seen this kid around!” I heard Hoseok laugh and wrap an arm around Jungkook’s shoulders. I saw Jungkook’s cheeks flush as a smile appeared on my face.

Hoseok calls Jungkook a kid? I could get used to that… I would enjoy seeing his embarrassment over it.

“Oh, Jung,” Taehyung looked my way as my nerves spiked. I wasn’t ready! “My sister is over there if you wanted to go meet her.”

“Oh, yeah,” Hoseok nodded before walking in my direction. I felt panic written all over my face as I looked from Taehyung to Jungkook. Jungkook’s flustered state had already been recovered, and when I caught his eyes with mine, it caused my nerves to increase even more than before.

Why was Jungkook making me nervous? I’m around him all the time! There was no reason for me to feel nervous because of that jerk.

“Hey RaeAri,” Hoseok smiled and I turned my attention over to him. His smile was so charming and it caused a smile to appear on my face, “You probably don’t remember me from high school since I was a senior when you were a freshman. I’m Jung Hoseok.”

He held his hand out for me to shake as I slightly hesitated grabbing it. He was really cute, and I didn’t want to mess this up.

“I remember you a little,” I smiled softly as we let go of each other, “I’m pretty sure you may have given me a ride home from one of Taehyung’s dance practices.”

Hoseok concentrated for a couple seconds as his eyebrows furrowed. A few seconds went by as his eyes moved to look at my face as if he was trying to figure me out. It took another few seconds before his eyes brightened and a huge smile appeared on his face.

“You’re right,” He nodded and a soft chuckle left his throat. I smiled and tried to swallow my nerves that were trying to ruin how well this seemed to be going so far, “I nearly forgot about that. Now that I’m thinking about it, you have always been this cute.”

My eyes widened at his words, and he didn’t seem phased by the fact that he had just called me cute. Then there’s me who’s a flustered mess at his simple words, and he smiled at me when he noticed how embarrassed I had become.

“Sorry, I was talking to Taehyung about you earlier today, and when he showed me a picture I asked him if you had always been that cute. I forgot that you weren’t there for the first part of the conversation,” he laughed and slipped his hands in his pockets before looking toward the door. I looked that way, too, spotting Jimin walking in.

“W-Well,” I spoke to get his attention back on me, “Thank you for the compliment.”

He smiled and let out a little huff of a laugh before grabbing my arm suddenly, “That’s one of your friends that just walked in, right? I don’t want to keep you all to myself. I’d feel bad.”

“No, you don’t need to feel like that! If I didn’t want to spend time with you, I’d let you know,” I softly laughed as he nodded and looked in Jimin’s direction.

“I actually think I know that guy. I think he’s the same age as me…” Hoseok thought out loud as I raised my eyebrows. I was more surprised by the fact that Jimin was 23 instead of being surprised that he might know Jimin. He looks and acts like he’s my age!

“Who, Jimin? He didn’t go to the same school as us,” I informed as my eyes caught Jimin’s. He smiled and waved my way before spotting Hoseok standing next to me. Judging from the subtle look he gave Hoseok, Jimin seemed to also recognize him. “I think Jimin likes dance. Maybe you saw him somewhere relating to that?”

Hoseok just gave a simple nod, but I could tell that he was still intently thinking about it. It was probably going to bother him until he figured it out.

I trailed my eyes around the room as my eyes locked on to Jungkook’s fairly quickly. He seemed to have been looking my way, and when I caught him, he looked away. I swallowed as I took a deep breath and focused back on Hoseok. So what if Jungkook was looking my way? He was just wondering how our conversation was going…

“Ah! I got it!” Hoseok started laughing and he looked my way, “Sorry, it was really bothering me, but now I figured it out. I took dance classes in middle school with him. We were both always competing for who would be the best dancer in the class. I don’t remember who ended up winning, though.”

I nodded and looked Jimin’s way. I didn’t see him as the competitive type, but I’ve also never seen him dance. Chaeyoung told me that he had videos up on Youtube, but I keep forgetting to look for them.

“Well I’m glad you figured it out,” I smiled while looking back over at him. He was already looking my way and I felt my cheeks flush at that thought.

“Let’s stop talking about Jimin,” he slightly laughed and boldly took my hand in his. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my violently beating heart. “Are you hungry? The food here is pretty expensive, but it’s on me if you want something.”

“Oh, I’m fine! I was actually thinking about inviting everyone to have dinner somewhere after we bowled a few times.” I answered as he nodded.

“Then do you want something to drink? There’s soda and they even serve alcohol if you wanted some.” Hoseok looked my way as I felt my face heat up.

“Er…” I didn’t know how to put this without sounding lame, “I’ve… never had alcohol before…”

Hoseok looked at me with raised eyebrows before a soft smile appeared on his face, “Really? How old are you again?”

“That’s irrelevant,” I laughed and looked away from him, “I just… I have an irrational fear that I’ll do or say something that I’ll regret even if I just take a sip or two.”

“RaeAri, alcohol isn’t truth serum,” he chuckled as he looked back to Jungkook and Taehyung. He let go of my hand and waved the two over toward us.

I watched Jungkook’s mini debate on if he was actually going to walk over or not, but when Taehyung hit him in the arm to gesture for him to follow, he pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against.

“Do you guys want to make this an alcohol free night, or are you okay if I buy some?” Hoseok asked as Taehyung seemed a little worried. He looked at me as if trying to decide if he wanted to see me drinking alcohol, and I could tell that he decided that he did not like that thought.

“I think I’d have a nervous breakdown if I saw Ari drinking, so if you buy some, please keep it to yourself,” Taehyung said as he looked at me.

“Don’t worry about it, Taehyung. I won’t have any,” I reassured him as Jungkook just scoffed. I had to hold my tongue to keep from making a snide remark directed at him. I was not about to let Hoseok see me immaturely bantering with Jungkook like we always do.

Jungkook seemed to notice the fact that I was holding back, and a sadistic smile appeared on his face. I gave him a look to warn him to not start anything, but his mind was made up.

“You never cease to be the party killer, do you?” he spoke as Hoseok raised his eyebrows at Jungkook’s comment.

“I’m not killing any party. You don’t need alcohol in your system for things to be fun,” I snapped back softly, trying my best to not get too worked up. Hoseok is really cute and seems really interested in me. I didn’t want to do anything to scare him away somehow.

“You’re right,” Hoseok agreed with me as he sent me a soft look, “Let’s just have drinking free night. Besides, things can get ugly if someone gets drunk.”

I felt my cheeks heat up as I looked in his eyes. They were the most beautiful shade of brown, way more appealing than Jungkook’s, and I felt my heart beat increase the longer I looked into them.

“Hey, look, Yoongi’s here,” Jungkook spoke as my eyes nearly popped out of my head. I looked at Jungkook as he had the most evil smirk on his face. Talking to Hoseok had made me forget that Yoongi was going to be here.

...This was going to be interesting.

“If you’ll excuse me,” I mumbled to Hoseok as I grabbed on to Jungkook’s shirt and pulled him into the arcade.

“What the hell am I gonna do?” I put a hand to my forehead as Jungkook looked at me dumbfounded.

“You want advice from me?” he was the picture of shock, but I didn’t have time to think about that.

“Well you know both guys. I’d talk to Chaeyoung but she’d just tell me to pick whoever’s hotter.” I whined as Jungkook sighed and rolled his eyes.

“I have no interest in helping you. I’m actually quite excited to see how this plays out,” He smiled as I narrowed my eyes at him.

“This isn’t some drama on TV. Jungkook, I can’t screw this up. I would like to not be single for the rest of my life.” I tried to keep my voice low as I spotted Yoongi walking up to Chaeyoung and Jimin. His eyes caught mine as he waved, eyeing the fact that Jungkook was with me.

“Jungkook,” I spoke in a pleading voice as he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked out into the lobby area and spotted Yoongi, but he stopped cold as his eyes landed on something that seemed to make him visibly upset.

I started to grow concerned, but once I looked back out the doorway, I spotted her.

Jennie.

He took a deep breath and shook his head, trying to shake off whatever feelings he just showed on his face, “Whatever. Just stick with Yoongi. You can’t weird him out like you could Hoseok. Plus, like I’ve mentioned before, he’s too good for you.”

“Well while we’re making low blows,” I felt my cheeks heat up and my blood begin to boil, “I’d much rather Jennie end up with Taehyung rather than you. She’s too good for you.”

I left Jungkook in the arcade as I tried to shake off just how angry I was. I took a deep breath as I spotted Yoongi. I should at least say hi to him considering the fact that I invited him.

“Hey,” I smiled as Yoongi looked from Jimin to me. A smile appeared on his face as he stepped away from our friends to talk to me semi-privately.

“Hey,” he responded before looking toward the arcade, “I know it’s not really my business but… what’d you and Jungkook talk about?”

I turned around to see if Jungkook had left the arcade, and I spotted him walking over to Taehyung, Jennie, and Hoseok. “It wasn’t really important. I just didn’t want to argue with him in front of everyone,” I lied as Yoongi continued to eye Jungkook.

“Looks like you did a number on him,” he said in a low voice, “But we don’t have to keep talking about this. I feel bad for asking something so personal in the first place.”

“I don’t mind,” I lied as I felt my curiosity grow. I just wanted to continue this conversation a little longer to clear up some confusion, “What do you mean ‘did a number on him’?”

“Well,” he cleared his throat and licked his lips, “he just looks shaken up is all. I’ve seen you two bicker and storm off angrily, but he doesn’t look mad.”

I swallowed and resisted the urge to look back at Jungkook. I’d die inside if he caught me looking his way after all the arguing we just did.

“But who are the two people I don’t recognize?” he asked as I just smiled nervously. I was just going to be honest with him about Hoseok. If I tell him what he’s here for, it could either be a really good thing, or a very bad thing.

“Those two are Taehyung’s coworkers. Jennie is a girl he kinda likes, and he invited his friend Hoseok to… er, see if we’d hit it off, I guess.” I spoke as Yoongi just seemed to nod indifferently. I took a deep breath to try and contain my disappointment.

Was all of this one sided this whole time? But I’m not the only person that thinks that Yoongi might like me… Chaeyoung and Jungkook feel that way, don’t they?

“Is it going well?” He asked as I looked over at Hoseok. He was joking and laughing with Jennie and Taehyung as I turned back to Yoongi. I felt a needle poke at my heart as I looked back into the eyes of the man who I thought might feel the same about me.

“I’ve only talked to him for like 5 minutes, but he’s really nice. Jungkook doesn’t like the idea of Hoseok and I, and… that’s kinda what we were arguing about.” I revealed. I felt myself slowly fall into a sulking mood as I thought more and more about how Yoongi probably has no feelings for me past friendship.

I found myself taking my filter off to talk to him the more I thought about it. If I didn’t feel like tiptoeing around him to make sure I don’t say anything wrong, things felt more natural that way. Maybe things were better this way.

“Sounds to me like Jungkook’s just jealous,” Yoongi mentioned as I raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry? Why would he be jealous?” I asked as Yoongi just laughed and shook his head.

“Because he probably doesn’t like thinking about you moving on from him. It either hurts his pride or it’s because he still has feelings for you.”

I was about to wave my hands in front of Yoongi to try and figure out why he was saying all these weird things about Jungkook, but the realization hit me before I opened my mouth. I completely forgot that Jimin and Yoongi were under the impression that Jungkook and I are ex’s…

I found myself tempted to explain the lie to Yoongi right then and there, but I stopped myself when Taehyung called out my name. He motioned for everyone to walk over to him as I motioned for Yoongi to come over with me.

“So are we good for paying for two games? We’ll need two lanes because there can only be 4 people per lane. We just need to split up on who’s going on what lane.”

I felt a frown form on my face as I realized the only way we could split the lanes for it to make sense would be if I was in a group with Jimin, Chaeyoung, and Yoongi.

“I was thinking that it could be Jennie and I, as well as Jimin and Chaeyoung,” Taehyung spoke as I raised my eyebrows. What? What?

Taehyung was putting me in a group with Yoongi, Hoseok, and Jungkook? He was sending me to my death sentence. Hoseok isn’t going to want to even look my way after this night.

Chaeyoung sent me a look, but she wasn’t going to fight anything. I was surprised since I hadn’t even gotten the chance to tell her that Hoseok and I were supposed to be on a date of sorts.

“Any objections?” Taehyung asked as he looked my way. It was as if he was expecting me to speak up over Jungkook being in my group, but I wasn’t going to say anything.

“Yeah, why do I have to be stuck with Miss Holier Than Thou?” Jungkook spoke up as I instantly glared at him. I hate it when he uses that nickname!

“It was the best way to split everyone up,” Taehyung raised an eyebrow to his friend, “Unless you want to switch with me?”

Jungkook looked at me and his eyes narrowed intensely. I felt confusion written all over my face as I looked at Taehyung.

“But then I won’t be in the same group as you, Taehyung,” Jennie frowned and gave Jungkook a slightly pleading look, “Please don’t switch with him.”

Chaeyoung sighed and looked my way. She seemed to be seriously contemplating something, and her mind was made up before I had a chance to stop her.

“I’ll switch with you, Jungkook,” she spoke up as Jungkook looked her way. I noticed him also glance at Jimin who was visibly disappointed, but he sent her a look that told her that he would be okay with it.

“Then is everything settled?” Taehyung asked as everyone stayed quiet. I looked around and spotted Hoseok looking my way with a blank expression. When our eyes met, he sent me a soft smile that I returned. “Great! Now, we need to actually get the games started or we’ll end up being here forever.”

…

I entered my name in last since I was the only one out of the group to have never been bowling before. I sat next to Chaeyoung as both Yoongi and Hoseok sat on the opposite side. I took a deep breath as I watched Chaeyoung get up to bowl. I watched her movements as she rolled the ball to end up with hitting 7 of the ten pins.

She was getting ready to go for a second time when I noticed that Jungkook was getting up to take his turn. I felt my eyes practically glued to him as I found myself captivated by how focused he seemed. He took a few breaths before taking a few steps forward, swinging his arm back and then forward letting the ball go. It rushed at the pins as he just watched, his fingers finding his hair.

A satisfied smile made a home on his face as he looked at the strike he had just scored. I swallowed as his eyes met mine, and I felt my face flush as he sent me a breathtaking smile. He mouthed some words, and it took me a few seconds before I figured out what he had said.

‘Beat that.’

…

It wasn’t long before it was my turn to bowl as I felt nerves overcome me. I wasn’t liking the fact that everyone was watching me, but it was something that I’m just going to have to get over.

“I have to be honest,” I spoke as I looked to Hoseok. He was coming back from his turn as he scored a 6 and finished it off with a spare. “I’ve never actually bowled before.”

“Wow,” Hoseok smiled and I stood up to stand next to him, “Do you want me to help you out a little? We can take this game as your practice game and not hold your score against you.”

“Wait, are we doing something with the scores?” I asked as Hoseok looked over to look Taehyung and Jungkook’s way.

“It was Jungkook’s idea. He wanted the person with the lowest score to buy the person with the highest score something,” Hoseok mentioned as we stepped up on the bowling platform.

I looked back at Jungkook with a glare as he just sent me a smirk, seeming to know exactly what that look was for. Now this was personal.

“Well I’m definitely not going to get the lowest score knowing that,” I frowned as I realized that I forgot to bring a bowling ball with me. I rushed back to get the one that Chaeyoung and I both picked out.

“Okay, so you want to stand on this spot right here,” Hoseok pointed as I stook a few steps back and put my feet where he indicated, “And hold the ball up like you’ve seen everyone else do.”

I nodded and held the ball up to my chest. I felt my nerves spike as Hoseok walked behind me and placed a hand on my back, “Now you just need to walk forward and swing the ball back for momentum.”

I thought back to the little Mii’s on the TV screen as I nodded. I knew how I needed to swing it, I just didn’t know when to let go and how to move my wrist to guide the ball.

“Just do a practice run through of it to get a feel for it,” Hoseok nodded and stepped away. I took a deep breath and followed the same motions that I’d seen everyone else do, but when I swung the ball forward again, I almost lost my balance. I stumbled to keep from falling, and I ended up stepping past the line that I wasn’t supposed to cross.

“Don’t worry about that,” Hoseok spoke up with a smile as I looked over at him with an unsure look. “Here, Jungkook is the most experienced here. Just watch him before trying again.”

I turned to see Jungkook getting up to take his turn again. I felt my face heat up at the fact that I had taken so long that Jungkook was already going again, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

I took a deep breath as I noticed him glance over at me. I didn’t shy away from watching him because, I hated to admit it but, he looked so... elegant.

He even looks, dare I say… incredibly attractive. The way he moved was so fluid and perfect as I swallowed. I hated having these thoughts about someone as horrible as him, but I couldn’t deny how addicting it was to watch him bowl.

“Okay,” I swallowed when Jungkook finished his turn with a spare, 8 and 2. “I think I’ll try it now…”

I looked over at Hoseok and he just gave me a confident smile and a nod. I tried my hardest to copy how fluid and perfect Jungkook’s moves looked, but I spent too much time perfecting my form that when I let go of the ball, it quickly ended up in the gutter.

“Oh, nice try,” Hoseok was really nice about my complete and utter failure as the ball slowly rolled past the pins to be sent back over to us. I turned around with an embarrassed blush on my cheeks as I grabbed the second ball. Chaeyoung smiled and me and gave me a thumbs up as Yoongi sent me a soft smile.

I tried again, and this time, I paid attention to where I was sending the ball. It left my fingers and actually stayed on the alley, curving slightly to the left. I bit my lip and watched as the ball knocked down… 6 pins!

I smiled and turned to Hoseok with an excited look on my face. He looked equally excited as I let my excitement take over me. I threw my arms around him in a hug he he just softly laughed in my ear.

“Thank you! You’re an awesome teacher!” I bit my lip and pulled away from him to turn around and call out to Taehyung, “Did you see that, Tae?! I hit 6 pins! On my second try!”

Taehyung stood up as I jumped down and rushed over to his side. He gave me thumbs up before patting Jungkook’s back who was sitting down next to him.

“I’m really impressed and proud of you,” he winked before looking down at Jungkook. My eyes followed his as Jungkook moved Taehyung’s hand off of his back. He leaned back in against his seat before looking up at me.

“You still had a gutterball. Don’t forget that,” he almost mumbled as I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I thought it was an awesome first try,” I heard Jennie stick up for me as I smiled and looked her way.

“Thanks,” I replied before I turned to look back Hoseok’s way. I walked back to my group as I sat down next to Yoongi. I looked at him with a smile as he sent one back.

“This is turning out to be more fun than I thought it would be,” I thought out loud as Yoongi nodded.

“I don’t mind bowling. It isn’t my favorite, but I enjoy playing it,” he responded as my eyes caught sight of Hoseok.

“What about you, Hoseok?” I asked as he looked up at the two of us, “Do you like to bowl?”

He just nodded and glanced at Chaeyoung who scored an 8 and 1. “It’s fun. I really like watching people bowl more than I like bowling myself.”

“Really?” I asked as Yoongi got up to take his turn to bowl. Chaeyoung sat down beside me to jump into the conversation. “I guess if you’re watching someone that knows what they’re doing, it’s pretty fun.”

“Are you guys talking about Jungkook?” Chaeyoung jumped in a leaned forward so that the group behind us didn’t hear, “He looked so hot up there when he scored that strike.”

“He’s really good,” Hoseok laughed at the way Chaeyoung worded her sentence, “He and Taehyung are the ones who are mainly in competition when it comes to who’s going to win.”

“Well if I end up being the lowest score, I wouldn’t mind buying him a drink,” she smirked as I smacked her in the arm. I sent her a dirty look as she held up her hands as sigh of surrender, “I’m not being serious! You know that I like Jimin.”

I looked away from her as Yoongi walked back from his turn. Hoseok just laughed as he stood up to grab a bowling ball.

“Yoongi,” Chaeyoung spoke as he sat down in the seats across from ours. He raised an eyebrow to indicate that he heard her, “what do you think of Ari?”

I choked on my own spit at her blunt question as I turned around to pretend to not be there. My eyes caught sight of Jungkook’s as I gave him a questioning look. Was he listening to us?

“What do you mean?” Yoongi asked with an embarrassed look on his face. I refused to look his way, but I did look away from Jungkook as I turned around and stared at the bowling ball contraption in between the seats.

“Do you like RaeAri?” she bluntly asked as I was ready to reach for her neck and lightly strangle her. “And I mean like you would a girlfriend, none of that friend crap.”

I could feel Yoongi’s eyes on me as I watched Hoseok finish up his second frame. He turned around after getting a spare, and a smile appeared on his face.

I sprang up out of my seat and scrambled to get my bowling ball as I passed by Hoseok on my way up.

…

We finished out the first game, and to no one’s surprise, Jungkook won and I had the lowest score. I felt relief wash over me as we weren’t counting this round.

It didn’t take long for us to start the second game, and silence was mostly enveloping Yoongi and I. He and Chaeyoung had finished their conversation before I got back, and I didn’t dare to ask what had been said. I was sure that Chaeyoung would have already told me if things went well.

Jungkook disappeared for a good few minutes to cause his group to have to wait for him while my group continued to play ahead. We started to get a good two frames ahead, and by the time we hit the start of the third frame past theirs, we decided to paused until Jungkook came out of hiding.

Jimin walked over to talk with Chaeyoung and Yoongi as I walked over to sit with Taehyung. Hoseok followed me to Taehyung’s side as we just sat and had some small talk. I watched the interactions between Jennie and Taehyung, but something just felt off. Taehyung seemed to have plenty of interest in Jennie, but her eyes kept wandering off.

I tried to figure out who she was looking at, but I couldn’t figure it out. I started to get a little paranoid that she was looking Hoseok’s way, but that theory fell apart when I spotted Jungkook walking back over to us.

...She was looking at Jungkook?

I felt my stomach drop as I looked at Taehyung who seemed to be having a great time. He was smiling and laughing about something Hoseok said, but both Jennie and I were zoned out.

I saw Jungkook’s eyes meet hers, but his eyes tore away only seconds later. I noticed his walk was unsteady, and it didn’t take me long to realize where he had been.

I stood up and rushed up to him before he fully got to his group. He looked at me with a confused look for a couple seconds before he glanced at Jennie.

“Look Jungkook, I know you’re at least tipsy,” I whispered as he looked at me with a look as if he was about to fight me, but he stayed quiet. “I know I’ve said a lot of things about you and Jennie, but this seriously isn’t funny. Taehyung really likes her.”

“I know that,” Jungkook spat as he grumbled and took a deep breath, “God she’s so damn hot still…”

“I swear, Jungkook” I felt panic rise into my voice as his eyes looked over at Jennie again, “You’ve said all this stuff about not touching her because Taehyung likes her now.”

“But she’s just…” Jungkook took a deep breath, “She still likes me… I didn’t like she would still…”

I tried my hardest to hold back the urge to slap him in the face as he looked back at me. His eyes pierced into mine as I grabbed his arm and started to pull him back to the concessions.

“I’ll take a water,” I spoke as I kept a death grip on Jungkook’s arm. I was not about to let this mess of a person anywhere near Jennie in his current state.

The man behind the counter handed me a bottle as I handed him the money. It cost me an arm and a leg for that bottle, but I’d do anything if it meant that Jungkook wasn’t going to ruin Taehyung’s night.

“Drink this,” I ordered as I forced him to sit down at one of the two person tables they had placed around the concession stand. Jungkook listened to me as he downed almost half the bottle in less than three seconds.

“God, why are you so damn annoying,” he spoke as I grabbed the water from him out of slight anger, “There is a hot girl in there, a girl who I still really like, and she’s interested in me, too! I thought she didn’t ever want anyone like me again!”

“Jungkook, you may be a douchebag, but do you really want to hurt your best friend again?” I scolded as he looked into my eyes, “You promised him you wouldn’t flirt with her.”

“I’m not gonna flirt with her,” Jungkook narrowed his eyes, “I’m going to fuck her.”

I took a deep breath and looked at Jungkook with the most disappointed and hurt look that I could ever display. His words hurt me, even, and I wasn’t the one who liked Jennie.

“Go to hell, Jungkook,” I spat before opening the water bottle and pouring the rest of the water on his head. The look on his face tore me up as I threw the bottle at him for good measure. Maybe spending $5 on a bottle of water was worth it if I got to do that to him.

“Ari,” he called out to me as I started to walk away. I could feel tears building up in my eyes as his hand grabbed my wrist to stop me from walking, “Stop storming away like that.”

I spun around and took a deep breath. I tried my hardest to keep the tears from spilling from my eyes, but it wasn’t long before they were streaming down my face, anyway.

“I don’t have anything to say to the likes of you,” I spat as Jungkook’s eyes widened sadly. He watched the tears roll down my cheeks, and I violently wiped them away. I was dying to spin around and run off into the bathroom, but he wasn’t having that. He grabbed onto my other arm to secure me to him.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he spoke as I narrowed my eyes through my tears. He swallowed and reached up to try and wipe a tear that had just left my eye. I shoved his hand away and yanked my other hand out of his hold.

“I want you out of my apartment,” I spoke with a broken voice as he took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, “If you sleep with Jennie, I’m sure Taehyung would help you pack so that he never has to see you again.”

“I’m not going to sleep with Jennie,” he spoke with a shaky voice as I noticed a tear slip from his eyes. I didn’t know how to feel as he quickly wiped it away and pretended it was never there. “And I’m not moving out.”

“Why the hell not?” I took a step closer to him as he swallowed and reached out to touch my hand. I flinched at the touch, but I didn’t find myself pulling away.

“I’d-”

“Ari?”

I turned and pulled my hand out of Jungkook’s as I spotted Chaeyoung and Taehyung walking in our direction. Chaeyoung rushed up to me as Taehyung swallowed with a wide eyed look.

“Let’s run to the bathroom,” she nodded as I just followed her lead. I didn’t want to talk to Taehyung right now, so I was just going to leave Jungkook to explain everything to him.

Chaeyoung and I were soon standing in the hallway to the bathrooms, but we didn’t actually go in.

“What happened?” Chaeyoung looked incredibly concerned as my tears came to a slow stop. I took a deep breath to try and fully calm down, but it was really hard. I got really worked up back there…

“Jungkook and Jennie used to date when they were in high school. Taehyung currently likes Jennie, but I caught Jennie giving Jungkook more attention than she was Taehyung. Jungkook then ran off and got drunk so that he would have the “confidence” to do something so horrible to Taehyung.”

My voice shook as I paused and violently closed my eyes and shook my head, “I got so mad because he told me he wanted to not just flirt with her despite promising not to, he wanted to have sex with her.”

“Wow,” Chaeyoung sighed and shook her head while scrunching up her nose.

“It infuriated me, upset me even, that he even said that. I poured a water bottle on his head and ran off, but he followed me to try and, I don’t know, I guess apologize? I told him that I wanted him to move out, but he said that he didn’t want to. I don’t understand why…”

Chaeyoung stayed quiet as I looked over at her. It was weird that she wasn’t ranting about him to help me feel better… It made me worry that something had happened to her to make her upset as well.

“This is probably a really bad time to tell you this,” Chaeyoung swallowed and stared at the ground, probably because she was afraid of how I was about to react to her news.

“But I talked to Yoongi, as you already kinda know,” she took a deep breath, “I couldn’t actually talk about it until you ran off just now, but I just want you to know that Yoongi and Jimin now know the truth that you and Jungkook never dated.”

“Okay,” I shrugged and tried to laugh off my nerves, “You were starting to scare me there!”

“I’m not done,” she glanced up at me as I felt my muscles stiffen up at her look, “I talked to Yoongi about it, and keep in mind that Hoseok was also hearing this conversation. I wanted to talk to Yoongi without Hoseok there, but Yoongi insisted that Hoseok hear what he had to say as well.”

“Well? Just tell me already,” I felt my nerves cause my stomach to churn uncomfortably, “You’re killing me.”

“Yoongi doesn’t like you like that,” she said bluntly, but I could tell she was only just starting, “He told me that he did like you at one point, and he was even interested on asking you out on a date before Jungkook showed up in your life. But… once he met Jungkook and saw the two of you together, he decided he didn’t want to make an enemy of you if the two of you didn’t work out.”

She swallowed and looked up at me to see my unchanging expressions. I didn’t even know what to begin thinking learning all this, and she didn’t seem to be done talking.

“When I told him and Jimin that you and Jungkook weren’t actually ex’s, Yoongi looked at Hoseok and told him to stay away from you. At first I thought he was implying that he actually did want to ask you out and didn’t want Hoseok as competition… But when Hoseok asked his reasoning for saying that…”

I leaned in closer to coax Chaeyoung to finish. She looked incredibly uncomfortable while trying to think of how to word her next information.

“But instead, he explained that you already have feelings for Jungkook. He told Hoseok that he’d be wasting his time on you because you already belong to Jungkook.”

“What?” I yelled as my eyes went from nervous to enraged. Yoongi told the guy I was supposed to be having a date with that I belong to another man?

“Wait! He said that the reason he felt that way was because you ditched the two of them to run off with drunk Jungkook.” Chaeyoung continued as I shook my head and rushed out of the hallway. I spotted Hoseok and Yoongi talking with Jimin as my eyes narrowed. I was ready to kill that tiny excuse of a man!

Chaeyoung grabbed my arm to stop me from storming up to them, but nothing was stopping me. Jungkook was ruining my life and I’m sick of it!

I slowed down my pace when I say that I attracted the attention of Yoongi and Jimin. Hoseok soon turned around and caught sight of me as I felt my throat almost close up on me. I didn’t realize that I still looked like I had been crying until all three of them gave me a look of worry.

“I ran off with Jungkook because I love my brother and didn’t want Jungkook to hurt him again,” I spat out as I realized how out of breath I felt. It felt like Jungkook had punched me in the gut as I tried to defend myself.

“Jungkook’s still hung up on Jennie, and he was about to waltz on over here and sweep her away from him and embarrass him. If I hadn’t stopped him then no one would have.” My hands were shaking as Yoongi stood up and walked up to me with a sorry look on his face.

“I don’t understand why you had to say that,” I shook my head at Yoongi as he continued walking up to me.

“Ari, everyone’s looking,” Yoongi softly spoke as I felt frustration build up in my chest, “can we do this outside?”

“No,” I shook my head as Yoongi sighed and grabbed my arm. I didn’t try to protest as Chaeyoung and Hoseok both watched us walk out of the building.

“I don’t understand, Yoongi,” I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down a little bit. I was being pathetic enough, and I did not want to start bawling in front of him.

“I’m sorry, Ari. I crossed a line, I know,” he took a deep breath and grabbed my hand to try and calm me down, “I shouldn’t have said that to Hoseok. It was really selfish of me.”

“Well apologies can’t fix all your problems,” I sniffed as I looked away from him. “I really thought that you liked me at least a little bit… I just…”

Yoongi gave me an apologetic look, “I didn’t want Chaeyoung to say all of that to you…”

“Well she did,” I swallowed and dared myself to look into his eyes, “Jungkook and I have never been together and there are no underlying feelings there. Does me saying that change anything?”

Yoongi didn’t break my stare as his hand tightened around mine. “Let’s try something.”

I looked at him with an expectant look as I waited for him to continue. Did he want to at least try a relationship with me?

I jumped when Yoongi leaned forward, and without warning, his lips were pressed to mine. I felt my nerves spike as I realized that Yoongi swept in and stole my first kiss with no warning.

The feeling was certainly weird and foreign, and my mind didn’t know what to think. He didn’t kiss me for long as I felt him start to pull away from me. I took a deep breath to catch all the breath that he had just knocked out of me.

“Ari,” he whispered as he looked down instead of at me, “I want you to tell me, did you feel anything from that?”

I swallowed and slowly started realizing what he was doing. I wasn’t surprised that this was what his plan was, but I was surprised that he was making me realize that he was right.

“It just felt like you pressed your lips to mine,” I admitted as a sad smile appeared on his face.

“See? We’re just not… meant for each other. I do love you, but you’re like my best friend… not my girlfriend.” Yoongi explained as I just nodded in agreement. He was right. I was so blinded by the idea of having a boyfriend that I was trying to push something that just wasn’t meant to be.

“You’re right,” I nodded and swallowed as I looked behind Yoongi. I noticed Chaeyoung and Jimin looking out one of the doors at us as I sighed and rolled my eyes. Yoongi turned around to spot them as well, and we both laughed.

“Let’s get back inside. I’ll talk to Hoseok for you, okay?” he reassured as I smiled and nodded. It felt good that he was going to fix the mistake that he made, but my mind started to wander to the thoughts that had been bothering me in the dark and forgotten corners of my mind.

If Yoongi was right about me and him, then…

No. He was definitely wrong about Jungkook and I. Definitely.

A/N: Having to break the chapter here was so hard for me because I wanted to post the whole bowling alley section at once... It kills me to make you guys wait, but if I don’t allow myself more time to write more content, I’ll have nothing to post!! Dx

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