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#may we all get wrecked by someone
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Shinso surprising you for International Women’s Day with some nice somnophilla.
It had been a kink that you had wanted to explore for a while but Shinso had felt a bit nervous about it because explicit consent from you every time you two had sex was very important to him with his quirk.
To your delight you stirred awake from Shinso pushing your panties aside and slowly warming you up and preparing you to take his hard cock.
Feigning sleep up until he sunk himself into your wet folds as you moaned from the sensation as his sinewy body pressed against your back. Shinso’s strong hands gripped your hips as he tilted your body in a way that took him better.
“Good morning kitten.” He said simply with a small smirk before he wrecked you in the best way possible.
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theoestofocs · 2 years
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reading a truly excellent fic from a small fandom, that hasn't been updated in ages despite the author promising an epilogue: ah fair enough, hope everything's okay, I'll hit "subscribe" just in case bc i loved what they wrote so i'll comment that i liked it
scrolling absently up through the other 5+ comments and abruptly stumbling on a breathtakingly bad faith criticism of -problematic- elements that weren't even present in the fic:
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#id in alt text#linden's originals#seriously y'all never comment ur negative analyses of an author's thematic choices#especially if they're all stuff that's clearly tagged & in the content summary?? this is free entertainment & fully informed consumption#even if u have something to criticize about their word choice or sth - like if the author uses an outdated term or sth#& u genuinely have reason to think they'll appreciate being informed of their mistake. like. you still also tell them the stuff u liked.#u don't leave a comment just to tell an author whose personal stories (stories they chose to *archive* which u may read#but which are written first and foremost for the author's enjoyment! that's what the ''archive'' part means! it's someone else's journal!)#to tell them they Messed Up!#tell them what turns of phrase u liked! tell them why ur glad u got the chance to read the work! they do not owe u a story u like!#and leaving a negative comment (even a well-intentioned one) can wreck an artist's motivation to continue creating a work#(i know if i got a comment like this - however well-intentioned - i'd probably have deleted the entire work & also cried#not bc it was particularly unkind it's just. unsolicited yk? & criticism of something so intensely personal. art created by & for you.)#like. a lot of fic is written by neurodivergents too. it's more relevant than the average situation to remember that an author might be#''disproportionately'' harmed by negative feedback. RSD; emotional dysregulation; stuff that makes emotions so much stronger#& more capable of lasting harm#anyway. i guess this is a#vent post#i know ''flames'' were a common issue in fandom before my time but i get the feeling a lot of that was bc#online fandom had a much higher proportion of teenagers shaping the culture. as we get older i think we get a better sense of ourselves#& better at understanding & respecting each other's boundaries. & rights#kids in fandom learn from adults just like everywhere else. be kind is i guess what i'm saying#never cause more harm than you need to. not when you can just walk away and leave no one the worse. just - be kind#and for the love of tillie mayard don't tell people what u think is Problematic about their literal fanfics#even if ur right & not fantastically misreading something to the point of seeming intentional. like. just don't#anyway. this has been#linden in the tags
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pucksandpower · 2 months
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Of Roomates and Revenge
Lewis Hamilton x fake girlfriend!Reader
Featuring Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, and Nico Rosberg
Summary: in which your search for a free place to stay leads to helping one half of Brocedes live out his petty fantasy for revenge … and falling in love while doing so
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Cat and Apartment Sitter Needed (Monaco)
Compensation: €1500/week plus all the Red Bull you can drink
I’m a world-traveling young professional who is rarely home. My two beautiful and rambunctious bengal cats need someone to stay with them in my Monaco apartment whenever I’m away for work.
The ideal candidate will be an experienced cat person who is prepared to deal with a lot of energy, chaos, and shenanigans from these two little terrors. They knock everything off every surface, wrestle at 3am, and will likely attempt to smother you while you sleep. If you can handle that, we’ll get along just fine.
In addition to caring for the cats, you will need to keep my place relatively tidy (i.e. no crushed Red Bull cans or fast food wrappers everywhere), collect any packages or mail that arrives, and randomly turn a few lights on and off every evening so the neighbors don’t get suspicious.
The position is ideal for a mature student, digital nomad, or someone between living situations who wants an amazing place to stay for free in one of the world’s hotspots.
Drop me a line if you think you can handle the cats from hell and wouldn't mind living in a 230 m² penthouse apartment with a private terrace, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a badass view of the Mediterranean. Preference goes to non-smokers who follow directions well and won’t throw ragers when I’m gone.
Send a brief intro, your experience with cats, and a couple photos attached. Urgently need someone for various stretches starting mid-February.
Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.
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Live-in Cactus Caretaker Needed (Monaco)
Compensation: €1000/week, free snacks, and you can play my Xbox
I’m a young dude who’s rarely home because of my job that involves a lot of international travel. I have a single cactus plant that I promised my mum I would keep alive until she visits again. The thing is ... I have absolutely no idea how to care for plants. Like, I nearly killed it the first week by forgetting it existed.
What I need is someone responsible who can essentially live in my swanky Monaco apartment whenever I’m gone and keep my tiny cactus friend alive.
Duties would include:
Watering the cactus like ... once a month? Twice a month? I don’t know how often it needs water
Not letting the cactus die in any other way (pretty sure they need sunlight too … I think)
Keeping the place tidy (I’m a bit of a mess)
In return, you’d get:
A sick apartment all to yourself with a stunning view, giant TV, and full kitchen (please for the love of god be careful in there ... I almost burned the place down trying to make a grilled cheese once. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. I almost went up in flames over a silly sandwich. If you can't even operate a microwave, we may have problems. There’s only room for one idiot like that in Monaco — and it’s me)
Unlimited snacks/drinks from my well-stocked pantry
Free rein over my gaming setup (just don’t break anything)
First dibs on any events/reservations I can’t make
The ideal person is responsible, shows they can follow basic instructions for cactus care, laidback since you’ll be alone a lot, and trustworthy enough not to wreck the place or throw illegal parties. Having a green thumb would be great, but frankly if you can manage not to kill the one plant, that’s good enough for me.
Send a brief bio about yourself and your qualifications as a cactus/housesitter if interested! I’m gone quite frequently starting in February so could use someone ASAP.
No scammy offers or soliciting, please!
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Roommate Needed to Drink Wine and Listen to My Woes (Monaco)
Compensation: Free rent in a nice apartment, plus all the wine you can drink
Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy dry red wines and occasional bouts of tears and venting? If so, I’ve got the perfect living situation for you!
I’m a youngish guy with a high-stress job that involves a lot of traveling. When I’m home in Monaco, I tend to unwind by polishing off a couple bottles of nice Bordeaux or Burgundy while complaining about work, my colleagues, and my rival who is giving me really mixed signals.
What I need is a roommate who doesn’t mind a little drunken blubbering here and there.
You’ll get:
Your own bedroom in my spacious 2BR/2BA apartment in the La Condamine district
Rights to my kitchen, living room with large TV, piano, and music recording equipment
Access to the building’s pool, sauna, fitness center, and lounge areas
As much wine as you can drink (and more)
In exchange, you’ll be expected to:
Listen to my periodic rants and rave sessions without judgement
Preferably nod along or offer supportive-sounding feedback like “Yeah, that’s really tough man” or “Wow, they sound terrible”
Refill wine glasses as needed
Maybe rub my back or pat my head if I’m really going through it
The ideal candidate is a decent human being who can empathize with the high-pressure struggles of a young professional trying to make it in a cut-throat career.
You’ll need a decent amount of free time and lots of patience. Prior experience as a life coach, therapist, or sympathetic drinking buddy is a plus.
If you can handle crying guys after a few too many glasses of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, inquire within! Include a little about yourself and why you would make a good non-judgmental wine friend. Merci!
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Expand Your Search? Similar Opportunities:
Impartial Referee Wanted for Parking Lot Brawls (France)
Compensation: €400 per event
Two athletic young men in their late-20s are looking for a level-headed third party to oversee and officiate their semi-regular parking lot boxing matches. Yes, you read that right — we’re talking straight-up fisticuffs in the back alley behind the Circuit Paul Ricard.
A little background: We’ve been frenemies/rivals since we were kids — constantly competing in friends, employment opportunities, you name it. There’s a healthy amount of hatred between us that simply can't be resolved through words alone. Every few months, we feel the need to just take out our pent-up aggression on each other's faces.
Up until now, it’s been an unregulated shitshow with no real rules or oversight. We’re looking for someone impartial who can:
Set some fair ground rules around where/how we can strike
Ensure no prop weapons get involved (last time he tried to scalp me with a wrench)
Officiate and declare a winner once one of us is knocked out or quits
Ideally have some basic first-aid skills in case of a nasty cut or broken nose
We will pay €400 cash at the start of each bout. You’ll get a free show of two extremely fit dudes wailing on each other until there’s a clear victor.
Loser exits with his tail between his legs, winner gets to gloat for the next couple months until we run it back.
If you can be a neutral third party and aren’t squeamish about a little blood, send us your info with some details about yourself and your experience resolving conflicts (legally or not). First come first served — our next fight is tentatively scheduled for mid-May!
No flakes or perverts, please. Serious connoisseurs of violence only.
P.S. Don’t be scared to give out penalties (one of us is used to that)
Actor or Actress Needed to Annoy Ungrateful Ex-Friend (Monaco)
Compensation: €2700 per week, free luxury accommodations
I’m a successful guy in my late 30s looking to hire someone to pretend to be my significant other for a few months. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain ...
I had a major falling out with a former best friend who stabbed me in the back years ago. We live in the same apartment building, just one floor apart.
I’m trying to show him how amazing my life still is without him … and maybe make him jealous in the process.
That’s where you come in. I need you to move into my penthouse temporarily and act as my gorgeous new boyfriend/girlfriend.
Your main duties would include:
Loudly introducing yourself to said ex-friend by knocking on his door and being line “Hi, is [insert my name] here?” Then pretend to be embarrassed and apologize when he tells you that you’re at the wrong apartment
Hang out in the hallway near his place and have very loud fake conversations detailing our imaginary passionate nights together (rated R)
Post cringy coupley photos on your social media of us dressed up going out, cuddling on my yacht, etc
Ideally you’re an aspiring actor/actress or just a really convincing liar. Being somewhat loud and dramatic is a plus. You’ll need to be willing to play along if my petty ex-friend tries to confront us.
In return, you’ll be living in a lavish penthouse with all the amenities for free. You’ll have your own private suite and can hang out on the oversized balcony, by the pool, or in the media room when you’re off the clock. Might also be able to introduce you to some high-profile people if you’re trying to network.
Oh, and my bulldog will provide plenty of cuddles.
If you can pull off a remarkably realistic fake partner act and aren’t afraid of a little light deception, hit me up! Please include a couple photos plus a bit about yourself and your acting experience. Aiming to start mid-April.
I’m an equal opportunity employer — girlfriend, boyfriend, nonbinary partner, you name it. All genders welcome to apply for the role if you’ve got what it takes! Only preference is that you have especially luscious hair … for reasons.
No weirdos please.
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Hi,
Okay, I have to admit — your ridiculous request to hire a fake girlfriend to make your ex-best friend jealous is quite possibly the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard. And I absolutely love it.
I’m literally the perfect person for this role. Petty vengeance is my middle name (well, not really, it's actually Y/M/N ... but you get the idea).
A little about my qualifications:
Took some theatre electives in university so I can really sell the dramatics
Lots of experience putting on an Oscar-worthy performance faking ... well, you know ... thanks to my douchebag ex-boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pleasure a woman 🙄
Not afraid to get LOUD and will happily reenact our “passionate nights” at earsplitting volumes in that hallway
Can pull off playing dumb if your friend tries to interrogate me about you (“Oh [whatever your name is]? Yeah he’s just the best at ... stuff”)
No shame in my pettiness game — I once spent my weekly paycheck on a Cameo just so an ex’s favorite celebrity would call him a dingleberry
In terms of looks, I’ve been told I have just the right amount of “hot” to make your poor pal jealous without it being too unbelievable. I’m attaching a few photos for reference.
Let me know if you want to meet up for a glass of wine and we can workshop some juicy storylines for our imaginary romance. Perhaps I was a former fling you rediscovered? A hot younger thing giving you a new lease on life? The possibilities are endless!
I’m a pro at faking it, so selling our relationship will be a piece of cake. Your ex-friend will be bright green with envy by the time I’m through!
Let’s make him regret the day he double-crossed you, babe.
Cheers,
Y/N
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r/offmychest
u/NotBritneySpears · 16h
My ex-best friend’s new girlfriend is the WORST!
I really need to get this off my chest. My upstairs neighbor’s new girlfriend is, without a doubt, the most insufferable human being on the planet. She’s loud, obnoxious, and seems to take immense pleasure in tormenting me for some reason.
A little background: I used to be really close friends with my neighbor. We had a big falling out a while back over ... well, it’s a long story. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of resentment between us. Clearly the universe is trying to get back at me now with this new girl.
This chick has made it her personal mission to give me a play-by-play account of every single intimate encounter she has with him. And I mean DETAILED accounts. The other day I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee and I hear her incredibly shrill voice from right outside my door:
“Oh he was an ANIMAL last night! The things he did with his tongue, I thought I was going to pass out!”
Like, seriously? Keep it to yourself, weirdo! That’s just the tame stuff too. Sometimes she’ll go into pretty graphic detail describing body parts and positions that I really didn’t need a mental picture of.
Here’s the thing — she quite obviously positions herself to be as close as possible to my apartment without actually trespassing — I mean, she doesn’t even live on my floor for god’s sake! So every word comes through crystal clear. I’ve confronted her about it a few times and she just plays dumb, like:
“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry if I was being loud! We just get so carried away sometimes, you know how it is,” with this stupid ditzy valley girl voice and hair toss.
I don’t know if my former best friend put her up to this or if she’s just a massive troll in her own right. But it’s like psychological warfare at this point. Literally ANY time I’m home, I have to listen to her yap about their Sex Olympian-level escapades.
My wife even heard them once and thought I was playing porn at an insane volume! She doesn’t believe me that it’s just this deranged lady running her mouth constantly.
I’m half-tempted to start recording her rants and blast them back at full volume to give them a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe start describing lurid details of my own (admittedly not quite so colorful) sex life in retaliation.
I don’t know, maybe I’m being oversensitive. But living under these two insufferable assholes is a waking nightmare. I need to move or something because this is massively affecting my peace of mind. Who knows if they will ever get bored of tormenting me and move on.
Rant over. Thanks for letting me vent about the neighbors from hell.
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u/chronicgossiper · 12h
Damn, that sucks man. Your neighbor and his gf sound like immature assholes trying to get a rise out of you. I’d look into noise complaint options or even see if you can get them evicted for harassment.
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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 11h
Seriously? You really think the landlord would evict someone over this? It’s not like they’re blasting music at 3am. Sounds more like passive aggressive pettiness than anything illegal.
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u/chronicgossiper · 10h
Idk, having to listen to people loudly describe their sex acts against your will seems like it could qualify as harassment or creating a hostile environment. Worth exploring at least if they won’t stop.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 9h
Eviction isn’t really an option here since we all own our apartments and there’s no landlord dictating that. It’s not that type of building.
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u/nosyandproud · 8h
Did your former friend move into that building first or did you move in knowing he lived there?
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u/NotBritneySpears · 7h
He was there first, I bought my place a few years after him when I could afford it. Never expected he'd pull something this childish.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 6h
So you willingly moved into the same building as your ex-best friend that you aren’t on speaking terms with? That’s just asking for drama, dude.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 5h
It’s a great building in an amazing location. I wasn’t going to not pursue the opportunity just because he lives there too. It’s a big place, I didn’t think we’d be running into each other much.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 4h
Still seems like a weird decision to willingly insert yourself into his orbit like that if the relationship was so fractured. Probably should’ve seen some fallout coming.
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u/nosyandproud · 3h
Yeah exactly, why would you move somwhere your ex-friend lives if you two clash that much? Kinda put yourself in this situation.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 2h
Okay, let me be clear — he and I were best friends for over a decade before we had a colossal falling out a few years ago. We’re not just some casual ex-buddies who don’t get along. We were legitimately very close for most of our lives until things went nuclear between us. When I decided to move into the building, our friendship had been over for a while already. I really didn’t anticipate he’d take things to this vindictive level years later. I’m not going to miss out on my dream home just because of what happened between us.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 1h
This is getting juicyyy, do tell about what caused the falling out!
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u/NotBritneySpears
Not really trying to dredge up old drama, that’s a whole other can of worms. The girlfriend situation is annoying enough as is.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 51m
Fair enough, you gave context. Still think you two need to have an adult conversation about boundaries. Purposely trying to loudly narrate their sex life at you is unhinged.
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r/relationships
u/yourusername · 19h
I’m catching real feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend to get revenge on his ex-friend ... help?
Buckle up folks, because I’ve got one hell of a tangled situation to unpack here. This is going to be a long one.
About a month ago, I responded to this Facebook Marketplace ad from a guy (let’s call him L) looking to hire someone to pretend to be his new girlfriend. The goal was to make his former best friend/downstairs neighbor jealous after a brutal falling out between them.
I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But the benefits were good and I’d be living in his insane luxury penthouse in Monaco rent-free. More importantly, I really vibed with L’s pettiness and desire to get deliciously pathetic revenge on his ex-friend. My last boyfriend was the actual worst, so I was absolutely here for any slightly insane Karen antics.
Anyway, we hit it off immediately at the “audition” over drinks. L is brilliant, successful, gorgeous, and fucking hilarious in a sarcastic, unfiltered way. We both have a wicked mean streak and frankly get off on emotionally messy situations. It was like looking into a mirror — two beautiful trainwrecks finding each other in the wreckage.
From night one, we had crazy chemistry. The back-and-forth banter was electric, we finished each other’s sentences, etc. I felt so comfortable around him despite the bizarre circumstances. I assumed it was all fun and games to toy with his former best friend.
But over the last few weeks of loudly chronicling our “sex marathons”!outside said ex-friend’s door and doing phony coupley things around the city, I’ve realized my feelings are ... complicated. L and I CONNECT on a deeper level, in addition to just being partners in crime. We’ll be tangled up watching movies and he’ll make some perfectly timed quippy comment that has me cackling until my abs hurt. Or we’ll get deliriously wasted and end up baring our souls about our upbringings, dreams, fears — everything.
I’ve never been so open or comfortable around someone before. Our walls are gone. And the most messed up part? Some small, perverse part of me loves the strange intimacy we’ve manufactured through this farce. How much closer can you get than meticulously co-creating a fictional relationship?
In the beginning, I think we were both just in it for the laughs and pettiness factor. But something shifted for me recently. One night we were drunkenly rehearsing how I was going to describe our latest imaginary tryst to his ex-friend and ... I don’t know, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips while he was talking. His face was so close to mine and I felt breathless. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ditch the script and really kiss him. I had to physically stop myself from lunging forward.
Later, when I went back to my room, I was hit with a crushing wave of realization — I have actual romantic FEELINGS for this basketcase who hired me to play-act as his girlfriend! What the actual fuck?
Guys, I’m in too deep. How did I let this happen? L is technically still my employer and this whole operation has an expiration date. His former friend is already growing visibly annoyed, so Phase 2 (feign a dramatic breakup, I move out, L moves on with his life) is likely coming up very soon.
Do I just bury my feelings and end this gig without saying anything? Do I risk the humiliation of confessing my heart to someone who was only pretending to want me around? Or should I just go for it and make out with him next time we’re tangled on the couch? I’m spiraling here!
The pettiness that brought us together may also tear us apart. Or maybe I’m just a sad clown who read too much into a fake relationship. Someone slap me with a reality check, please! I need perspective from the outside.
Tl;DR - Developed legit romantic feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend as part of his weird revenge plot. Not sure if I should come clean, keep it professional, or start actually making out with him for real. This was NOT part of the deal!
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u/judgingloudly · 18h
Oh honey, you are in a MESS. This is like a bad romcom plot but IRL. I think your only real option is to fess up and tell L how you’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, the fake dating trope doesn’t always have to stay pretend!
If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you put it all out there and can move on with some dignity intact. But who knows — from how you describe the crazy chemistry and connection, he might feel relieved you said something first! Don’t let this fire burn out without taking your shot. Oh and definitely keep us updated, I’m invested now!
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Reply to u/judgingloudly · 17h
I agree with this take. You already acknowledged you’re in too deep emotionally. Might as well put those cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. Shooting your shot is always better than letting the “what if” eat away at you forever!
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u/livefordrama · 16h
I’m sorry but I simply must ask — how did you land a gig like this? And does he happen to have any more openings for a fake girlfriend? Asking for a friend …
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u/yourusername · 15h
Honestly it was a random Facebook ad looking for exactly this — a girl to move in and fake date this guy to drive his feuding neighbor up the wall. I applied semi-joking but he picked me!
As for openings, not that I know of ... yet. I may have to quit soon depending how this all plays out, so will keep you posted if my spot opens up!
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Reply to u/yourusername · 14h
Omg please do! I would 100% take on a role like this, it sounds like a total riot.
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u/unpaidtherapist · 13h
Girl, I think you already know what you have to do here. Is keeping things professional and never admitting your feelings really an option at this point? You’re clearly enamored with this guy and he seems to reciprocate the intensity at least platonically so far. I say GO FOR IT!
Just pull him aside one day, say “hey this isn’t just an act for me anymore, I really like you and need to know if there’s a possibility for us or not.” If he’s as caught off guard and freaked out as you’re implying, a direct conversation is needed to get those cards on the table. Don’t die wondering “what if?” That’s my advice.
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u/everydayopportunist · 12h
This is so wild, I’m living for this drama! Seriously might need to pursue some similar gigs myself, apparently that’s where all the romance happens these days 😂
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u/devilsadvocate · 11h
I’m sorry but I have to go against the grain here — please do NOT make a move or confess any feelings! This guy hired you for a very specific job under very specific pretenses. Catching real feels was not part of the deal at all. Selfishly throwing that at him out of the blue would be so unfair after he opened his home to you. I worry he could feel betrayed and violated even if he did secretly like you back.
My advice? Give it a few weeks, see if these feelings persist or if it was just a passing crush brought on by the intimacy you’ve found yourselves in. If it’s still intense after cooling off, then maybe consider looping him in. But don’t go nuclear until you're absolutely sure. You could risk imploding a good work situation and friendship over a temporary infatuation. Tread very lightly!
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Reply to u/devilsadvocate · 10h
I’m with this take, OP shouldn’t jeopardize her living situation if her feelings might be fleeting. Taking a step back and giving it more time could provide clarity. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.
The more prudent move is to wait until the “job” wraps up before considering opening that can of worms. If feelings persist minus the contrived closeness, she’ll know it's real. But springing it on the guy now seems wildly unfair and could blow up in her face.
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r/AmITheAsshole
u/veganGOAT · 15h
AITA for turning down my fake girlfriend after she admitted feelings, only to want her back days later?
I think I may have tremendously fucked up in a spectacularly messy way. Let me walk you through the tangled web I’ve woven ...
A couple months ago, I (39M) hired this woman to essentially move into my apartment and pretend to be my new girlfriend. I know it sounds batshit crazy … but I was trying to make my ex-best friend/neighbor jealous after a bitter falling out between us.
She was the perfect partner for this ruse — sarcastic and spunky, with a hint of unhinged energy. We bonded instantly over bottles of wine and throwing deliciously overblown “loud sex” performances in the hallway to drive my ex-friend nuts. What was meant to be a transaction quickly bloomed into a legitimately fun, effortless friendship.
Soon after, we started having real sex. It sort of just … happened, albeit very awkwardly at first. Like “well this is weird, want to try it for real just to see?” And what do you know, we had insane chemistry between the sheets too! We were soon sleeping together nearly every night, always swearing afterwards that it was “just for fun” and didn’t mean anything more.
But I started catching feelings. She was hilarious, confident, beautiful — everything I could ever want in a partner. We had connected on a deeper level through the medium of batshit pettiness. And our physical intimacy only amplified that bond.
Cut to a couple weeks ago. We had just finished a particularly athletic round and were cuddled up, spent. Out of nowhere, she pipes up nervously: “Hey … I think I’m really falling for you. I don't want this to just be sex or games anymore. I want to really try being together.”
I froze. The words I had been longing to hear suddenly terrified me in that moment. My throat clenched up as a wave of panic crashed over me (yes, I’m well aware of how stupid this was in hindsight). After an agonizing pause, I managed to choke out: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This thing between us was only ever supposed to be fake. I don’t think of you that way.”
I could actually see her face crumble. She quickly mumbled “okay” and slid out of my bed, wrapping a sheet around herself to cover her dejection. I swear I heard muffled sobs through the wall once she was back in her guest room. I felt like a piece of shit.
The next few days were some of the most awkward, brutal tension I’ve ever experienced. She was now acting like a scorned woman just doing her job, no intimacy whatsoever. We could barely make eye contact.
It took seeing her so closed off, so cold, for me to realize how much I desperately missed her warmth, humor, friendship. How much I longed for the easy intimacy we once had, both emotional and physical. I tried a few times to apologize or explain myself, but she brushed me off — utterly walled off to protect herself.
After days of wrestling with my suppressed feelings, I realized that I was in love with this wonderful woman. Hiring her as a fake girlfriend was one of the best things I had ever done because it brought her into my life … and now I didn’t want to let her go. She was becoming my person, even if she had started out as a farce.
But here’s where I really need some impartial perspective — AITA for freezing up and rejecting her confession?
I didn’t meant to tank her feelings so callously. I think I just ... panicked in that moment. The idea of committing to a real relationship terrified me in ways I didn’t expect. My career keeps me constantly on the go, always jet-setting to the next thing. Could I really give a romance the time and energy it deserves right now?
Part of me also felt massively conflicted about the circumstances. I’m literally paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend as a sort of ongoing petty revenge. If I admitted I wanted to actually date her, wouldn't that blur consent lines in some messed up way? Like, is she just going along with it because she’s on the payroll?
I know these both sound like flimsy excuses, but they were very real fears racing through my mind in that moment. Fears that made me impulsively reject her, despite how utterly gone I was.
Now, days later, those same hangups don’t seem so insurmountable. Maybe she and I could make something work, travel schedules and all. And if she reciprocated feelings, it would be a starting point — not her just placating me for a check. We could rip up the old arrangement and start fresh.
But I haven’t confessed any of this to her yet out of gut-wrenching cowardice. She’s still giving me this cold, professional shoulder. I don’t know how to begin recanting my idiotic reaction and opening up about the REAL reasons I panicked — the commitment fears, the moral dilemma, all of it.
Part of me wonders if I even have the right to try and pursue things with her at this point? I absolutely shattered her feelings for my own hangups just days ago. AITA for potentially stringing her along further by trying to retroactively take it all back? Maybe I’ve missed my window and should just let this phase of my life be over before it gets even more painful and messy?
Ugh, I’m rambling now. The crux is — AITA for how I recklessly rejected her in that moment? Do I even have a right to try and make amends after that thunderous fumble? Or should I just take the L, chalk it up to collateral damage of being in the world’s most messy pseudo-relationship, and move on?
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u/juryofone · 14h
YTA, but only because you handled the initial rejection in the worst way possible. Your reasons for hesitating are somewhat understandable. But you really dropped the ball in communicating that to her in the moment.
Instead of calmly explaining where your headspace was at, you just blurted out a kneejerk rejection that crushed her feelings. No wonder she went ice cold — that had to sting like hell! If you had taken a breath and talked it through with more nuance, maybe you could’ve reached an understanding.
The good news is, you’ve now realized how much you DO want this woman in your life as more than a pretend romance. I don’t think you’re an AH for having those feelings or wanting to pursue her again, provided you make a sincere, thoughtful effort to apologize for your tactless approach before.
My advice? Explain the real reasons you froze up, how torn you felt over everything, and make it clear you still have feelings. But lead with a heartfelt apology for how horribly you botched it at first. If she’s willing to give you one more chance after that, DO NOT blow it.
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Reply to u/juryofone · 13h
I agree with this take. He’s not an AH for the situation, but majorly the AH for the WAY he handled rejecting her. That had to sting badly after putting herself out there. The mature thing is to own up to that and properly communicate where his head was at.
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Reply to u/juryofone · 12h
Yeah, going straight for “I can’t do that, I don’t think of you that way” after she bared her soul was so harsh and unnecessary. He could have let her down wayyyy more gently if he was that conflicted about it all. She must’ve felt like a fool!
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u/neutralpartier · 11h
NAH — I get that you panicked in the heat of the moment and why this whole situation is heavy with ethical quandaries. The reality is, you two started off pretending but real feelings developed, and that’s okay! It happens. The moral issue only remains if you knowingly took advantage of or manipulated her feelings while she was on your payroll. Since you seem just as confused as she was, I don’t think any lines were really crossed.
The way forward is to rip off the bandaid once and for all. If you have mutual feelings now, figure out if you want to date as equals. If not, it’s time to part ways amicably while you both still can. But don’t keep paying her while catching feels — THAT would make you an AH.
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u/glasshalfempty · 10h
ESH ... look, you suck for how you handled rejecting her confession. That was really hurtful and avoidant no matter your internal struggles. She sucks for going into this thinking it was all pretend, catching real feelings, and expecting you to want to be serious too. You PAID her to be your fake GF and made that clear.
My suggestion is to have an honest discussion about whether you can BOTH separate the transactions from reality. If you’re both all-in on trying for real, great! But one of you is going to get burned if expectations don’t align. And please, for the love of god, stop paying her!
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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 9h
This is exactly what I was thinking too! Way too messy ethically to keep paying her as the lines blur between fantasy job and real romance. Either take the plunge and date properly or go separate ways for good.
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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 8h
Agree but like ... is this even real? How does someone end up hiring a fake girlfriend to make their former best friend jealous? That alone sounds like a bad romcom plot.
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u/criticaloverthinker · 7h
I’m calling cap on this whole wild story. Childhood besties turned feuding enemies living in the same building? A fake girlfriend who moves in as part of an elaborate revenge plan? It’s all too unbelievable.
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u/struggling-with-reddit · 6h
I’ll play along and rate, but no way is this post legit lol. Having a fake girlfriend you eventually catch feelings for while pranking your neighbor? What’s next, one of you is actually royalty or a secret millionaire? Too much happening here.
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Reply to u/struggling-with-reddit · 5h
Hahaha I know right, the excessive details and backstory gave it away as creative writing practice or something. No judgment from me, it was an entertaining read at least!
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u/struggling-with-reddit · 4h
Next thing you know, OP will be claiming he’s Michael Schumacher or something 😂
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r/AmITheAsshole
u/veganGOAT · 8h
UPDATE — I’m the idiot who rejected then realized I loved my fake girlfriend … and she took me back!
When I made my initial post a bit over a month ago about this whole fake girlfriend situation, most of you understandably called it outrageously far-fetched.
Which, fair. How does someone actually end up hiring a woman to fake date them just to make their neighbor jealous? It does sound ripped straight from a Nicholas Sparks fever dream.
Well put on your straight jackets, because this ridiculous saga is 100% real. And I’ve got an update that’s even crazier than the original tale ...
After reading the feedback on my initial post (and getting a whole lot of shit from some friends too), it became crystal clear that I had to make things right. I put her through the emotional wringer by callously rejecting her in the moment, when her feelings were just as tangled up as mine were. I owed her a sincere apology and a proper explanation of why I froze — with no more deflections or excuses.
So I wrote her a long letter. I laid it all out there. How torn I felt about the ethical and emotional complexities of our arrangement. How her vulnerability awoke my own fears about commitment, my transient lifestyle, and whether I could realistically be the partner she deserved. Mostly, I repeatedly owned up to being a thoughtless prick who shattered her trust out of pure pathetic self-preservation.
But above all, I made one thing clear — despite my bumbling, I had fallen for her too. Completely and utterly. She had cracked through my defenses and healing her hurt became the only thing that mattered.
I ended the letter by owning up to the fact that she now held all the power. While she had moved into this arrangement under certain pretenses, I had violated that implied contract. The ball was entirely in her court now. I would abide by whatever decision she landed on — friendship, an amicable parting of ways, or taking the terrifying gamble of trying to make this the real deal.
When she emerged from her room the next morning, I could barely look at her. I was a sweaty, nauseated wreck, steeling myself for the worst. She sat down next to me in silence and unleashed the longest, most blistering dressing down of my life. How I had made her feel so small, so foolish, so painfully vulnerable. Words like “coward” and “asshole” were thrown around. But you know what phrase stung most?
“I wish you had told me all of this up front instead of dealing with it like a child. I could’ve understood where you were coming from.”
It was a dagger — she was absolutely right. My dumb automatic rejection utterly betrayed the openness and intimacy we had built. Still, she didn’t dismiss me entirely. She would need some time to think, but asked that I stand by for an answer.
The limbo period was … not fun.
After four excruciating days, she came to me again. This time, she was almost shy, like her old self. She told me she had thought it over extensively, and ultimately my explanation and full-hearted apology won her over. I may be an idiot, an asshole, and a bit of a mess (her words), but I was an honest idiot with a good heart under all the bravado. And that’s what had drawn her to me in the first place.
So with the understanding that we would both need to work on our communication skills and respective hang-ups, she was in. We would press the reset button altogether, end our old arrangement, and try to make this relationship happen for real — messy origins be damned.
That was exactly a month ago today, and things have never been better. Sure, we still lean into some harmless (and vaguely unhinged) pettiness with my former friend from time to time. Some habits are too fun to quit cold turkey. But ultimately, I’ve never been so grateful for the insane set of circumstances that brought this amazing woman into my life. We may have started as an acting exercise, but we took a leap together into something beautifully real.
And yeah, I still have to hear shit from literally everyone about how our romance origin story is the most unbelievable meet-cute of all time. But I’ve learned to lean into the absurdity. After all, what’s life without a little chaos and a perfect partner to share in the pandemonium?
Thanks to everyone who offered candid advice on my original post. You may have received an update sooner if not for all the people accusing me of faking it! All I can say is … this is my blissfully ridiculous reality now.
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u/juryofone · 7h
Well hot damn, I have to hand it to you — this saga is even wilder than the original post let on! I went from being totally skeptical of the whole outrageous situation to being fully invested in this insane romance. Love that she put you through the wringer a bit before taking you back. You absolutely deserved that and more after treating her like you did.
But huge props to you for manning up with that apology and giving her the power to make the next move. That vulnerability and respect for her feelings despite your own doubts is what true partnership is all about. I have a feeling you two chaotic bastards are going to be just fine as a real couple now that all the crazy pretenses have been stripped away. Wishing you both nothing but more pandemonium and pettiness together!
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u/neutralpartier · 7h
I’m officially obsessed with this love story. You went from hiring a woman off to punk your neighbor, to breaking her heart over catching feelings, to doing the MOST to grovel your way back into her good graces, to ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING. It’s romcom gold! I need this to get optioned for a movie immediately.
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u/glasshalffull · 6h
As wild as this story has been from start to finish, this update has me straight up emotional! The groveling, the way you explained your fears, her roasting you for days before mercifully taking you back … my heart. Love that she cut straight through the bullshit by calling you an idiot AND acknowledging your good heart. That’s the ideal balance.
I’m so invested in this nonsense and need regular updates on how things progress from here. You better not blow it after all this chaos or I’ll be leading the charge to vandalize your apartment!
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u/romanticempath · 5h
What a journey! To go from manufacturing a fake relationship purely for petty vengeance, to developing REAL emotional stakes, to breaking each other's hearts quite viscerally, to finding your way back together through sheer vulnerability? Incredible stuff.
I laughed, cried (a little, don’t judge), and cringed throughout this entire saga. Thank you for bringing us all along for the insane roller coaster. I wish nothing but ridiculous happiness for you and her moving forward!
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u/fairytaledreamer · 4h
I’m sorry but I still can’t get over the fact that this is somehow a real series of events? You’re a madman and this is truly unhinged (but also incredible). How did ALL of this unfold before your 40s?
Romcoms have been put to bed. Welcome to 2024, where people actually hire fake GFs to get revenge on their scorned former friends, develop legit attachment issues, torpedo everything in a panic, grovel for redemption fit for cinematic history, and somehow STILL end up together in some sort of demented happily ever after!
All I can say is cherish the chaos you've manifested. I can’t wait to see what bonkers plotlines await the two you. Start recording everything for the biopic!
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Reply to u/fairytaledreamer · 3h
“Cherish the chaos” is absolutely the perfect sign off for this update. I’m deceased at this whole wild drama, but also soooo invested! Cannot wait for the inevitable Netflix mini series. Thanks for the laughs, drama, and emotional whiplash!
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r/offmychest
u/NotBritneySpears · 21h
My ex-bestie’s wedding to his obnoxious girlfriend was a nightmare … and so was their wedding night (unfortunately)
You’ll have to bear with me on this one, because I’m still reeling a bit from one of the most cringey, uncomfortable, and downright baffling weekends of my entire life. I need to get this off my chest before I have a full mental breakdown.
A couple years ago, I made a post venting about my former best friend’s new girlfriend at the time. For those who missed the saga, she was an insufferably loud woman who seemed to take immense pleasure in loudly narrating her sex life with my former friend right outside my apartment door. It was psychological warfare, plain and simple.
Well, I’m sure you can all see where this is going based on the title. Against all odds and reason, this woman and my ex-friend somehow stuck it out … until he put a ring on it last year. Which leads me to the first in a cascading series of mind-numbing events — receiving a wedding invitation from the happy couple!
Now, let’s be clear — I have not spoken to my former best friend in almost a decade at this point. Not since our cataclysmic falling out (a story for another day). We were thick as thieves until our bond was shattered beyond repair. For him to invite me to his wedding with the woman who crudely mocked their intimacy for my benefit was … certainly a choice.
On one hand, why on EARTH would you invite the person whose heart you deliberately stomped on so many years ago? It felt like a cruel joke, rubbing salt in an open wound that never fully healed. A reminder of their domestic bliss and my bitter ostracism.
Yet on the other hand, maybe there was a subconscious part of me that would have felt insulted if he didn’t invite me after so many shared years? As if he had utterly erased me from his life without a second thought? The thought gut punched me too in an admittedly unhealthy way.
Long story short, I RSVP’d yes … half out of morbid curiosity and half out of a deeply unwell desire to not get excluded from such a significant life event. In hindsight, a foolish decision that kicked off a horrifically uncomfortable series of events.
The wedding itself was … a lot. An over-the-top spectacle at an insanely expensive venue. My miserable self stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all the adoring couple’s friends and family. I sat through mushy vows reaffirming their “unlikely origin” in the “most unexpected yet fortuitous way” … while trying not to puke.
So yeah, sheer cringe start to finish. Little did I know the worst discomfort was yet to come!
In perhaps the most on-brand grand gesture of the entire weekend, the groom rented out an entire boutique hotel for all out-of-town guests to stay at after the reception. That way we could all keep the party going nearby before he whisked his new bride off to parts unknown on their honeymoon the next day.
Ever the gracious host with a penchant for the spectacle, he let wedding guests draw for their room assignments out of an actual top hat. I somehow managed to get seated right next to his parents who, while cordial enough, knew me as the ex-best friend responsible for so much fractured history.
But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you know, the universe is supremely messed up because I ended up with the room directly underneath the newlywed suite. Yes … I spent their wedding night listening to a live-streamed porn broadcast courtesy of the paper-thin walls and floors.
Dolphin sounds didn’t even BEGIN to cover the unholy noises raining down from above around 2am. I’m talking full-on screams of unbridled passion echoing off the walls at maximum volume. Mind you, this woman had become infamous for over-enunciating their coitus for my benefit previously. Now it was a frighteningly real-life rendition that no noise-cancelling headphones could drown out.
I finally had to flee my room to the lobby. I ended up crashing on one of the lobby couches until an employee politely asked me to leave around 6am. Disheveled, disoriented, and officially diagnosed with PTSD from the sounds I cannot unhear.
So yeah … not exactly a therapeutic reunion that could have allowed my ex-friend and I to bury the hatchet. If anything, this wedding was one massive “screw you” that opened up all the same unresolved wounds. I need about 20 years of intensive therapy to move on.
I also need to find a new place to live because I can’t bear returning to that cursed apartment building.
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u/chronicgossiper · 18h
Dude, I think you need to get some serious perspective here. Your ex-friend getting married and going on a honeymoon has absolutely zero to do with you. That level of self-centeredness is off the charts.
Why in the world would this guy plan an entire wedding — one of the biggest days of his life — around secretly tormenting you again over ancient history? That makes no sense. He invited you as a polite gesture after years apart, probably hoping to start burying the hatchet. The room assignments were random by your own admission.
As for the … “noises” … look, they were on their wedding night. Maybe overenthusiastic, but 100% to be expected between newlyweds. It’s not some psychological ploy, just poor planning on their part for thin walls. You’re projecting like crazy if you think that was directed at you specifically.
At a certain point, you have to realize the universe doesn’t actually revolve around your grudges or history with this person. They’ve clearly moved on to live their best life. It’s on you to stop obsessing over them and do the same.
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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 16h
I agree, this is just pure paranoia from OP. No newly wedded couple is sitting around thinking “how can we sneakily stick it to your ex-best friend during our wedding festivities?” That’s deranged thinking.
They invited you to be polite, you drew an unlucky room assignment near their suite, and then biology happened on their wedding night. Hilarious and awkward coincidence? Yes. Intricately designed fuck you from the bride and groom? Come on now, that’s giving them way too much credit.
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u/NotBritneySpears · 13h
Maybe you all have a point, and I am still holding onto way too much resentment and baggage from our falling out. My intention wasn’t to imply they orchestrated an elaborate sting operation around their wedding. More just a general sense that the universe has a funny way of reminding me about them at highly inconvenient times over the years.
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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 12h
Even that line of thinking is incredibly self-centered though. Why would random coincidences or them just … living their lives be the “universe’s way of reminding you” about your failed friendship? That makes it sound like they should perpetually be walking on eggshells and avoiding certain life events just because you can’t get over the past.
Look, it sucks that things fell apart so badly between you two. But they have clearly moved on, as you should too. This obsessive framing of their marriage as some universal affront to you is … not healthy, my dude.
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u/nosyandproud · 10h
The wedding itself sounds like it was in poor taste for sure, so I can certainly understand feeling aggravated and triggered being there as the scorned former friend.
That said … you’re borrowing A LOT of trouble by assuming any of their private wedding night activities were purposely being broadcast to you specifically. Projection level 1000 there.
At the end of the day, these people have built a whole entire life and future together now that quite literally has nothing to do with you anymore. You looking for “signs” that they’re still fixated on you is just self-involvement. For your own mental health, you have to let go of whatever happened and see them as background characters in the story of your life now.
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u/realitychecker · 7h
OP, you need to take a step back and realize that the sheer logistics involved in purposely torturing you at their wedding are just not plausible. Do you really think they were like:
“Alright honey, for our wedding night I was thinking we should make sure your former friend gets the room directly below ours! That way when we really get after it, he’ll be able to hear every excruciating moan and body smacking sound in haunting detail! That’ll show him for being your friend a decade ago! Mwahaha!”
Come on, mate. That’s delusional cartoon villain level scheming you’re attributing to them. Occam's Razor — they just wanted to consummate their marriage in privacy and didn’t account for the thin hotel walls. The world doesn’t actually revolve around your history with this!
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Reply to u/realitychecker · 5h
Lmaooo the idea of them sitting around strategizing the most psychological warfare possible on their wedding night is killing me. “Yes honey, we simply MUST reenact scenes from our noisiest adult films for your ex-best friend’s terrible pleasure!”
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u/buildingbridges
OP, it seems like you really miss having your friend in your life if I’m reading between the lines here. Getting invested to this level over random coincidences at his wedding doesn’t come from a place of hatred, but hurt and longing for that bond again.
My advice? Use this weekend as a wake-up call to stop obsessing, reflect on whatever caused your rift, and decide if you want to properly reconnect. If not, you need to rip that band-aid off for good and stop torturing yourself over what will never be again. Or the walls between you two will just get thinner and thinner ...
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r/ask
u/amateurdetective · 15h
I think these juicy Reddit posts actually interconnect … but I need your help cracking the code
I think I’ve stumbled onto something wild here and I need the Reddit hive mind to help me piece this tangled web together. Are you ready for some batshit conspiracy-level connecting of barely-there dots? Too bad, I’m going in anyway.
So, over the past few years, I kept seeing these extremely juicy, dramatically-written posts pop up every few months that seemed … oddly interconnected despite being in different subreddits.
Hear me out:
First there was the unhinged post in r/offmychest from a guy ranting about his former best friend’s obnoxious new girlfriend. Dude was griping about how this woman would loudly recount the smutty details of her sex life with the ex-friend whenever she was in his general vicinity, seemingly just to mess with the OP. We’re talking legitimately disturbing stuff about feeling “psychologically tortured” by her oversharing.
Fast forward a few months and I stumble across a wild post in r/relationships from the perspective of this same “obnoxious” girlfriend! Except her story painted a whole different, unhinged picture — she was hired on FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE by the former friend to literally move in and fake date him as part of an ongoing revenge plot against the OP from the first post. She rapidly develops legitimate feelings for the guy and it becomes a messy will-they-won’t-they romcom situation.
But THEN there was a follow-up post from the fake boyfriend’s side in r/AmITheAsshole about him realizing he caught feelings too before nearly blowing it, followed by another saga-capping update about them deciding to pursue a real relationship against all odds and absurdity.
Are you seeing the parallels here? These three posters each gave one side of an absolute dumpster fire of a convoluted love triangle situation that seemingly intersected. And based on the intricate backstories, my crackpot theory is they all emanated from the same formerly tight friend group that experienced a bitter falling out.
The insane attention to detail, literary flair, and geometry of it all almost had me utterly convinced these were all fictionalized creative writing exercises posted separately across Reddit … but building on the same unhinged storylines each step of the way.
I’m utterly obsessed with mapping this all out into one cohesive narrative now. My working theory is something like this:
Some guy hired an actress to pose as his fake GF and torment his former friend as revenge for some past betrayal
The two fake partners rapidly caught real feelings amid the ruse, he panics and nearly torpedoes it
Meanwhile, the ex-best friend is losing his mind overhearing the fake girlfriend’s loud performances and comes to Reddit for advice, not realizing it’s all a ploy
After a saga of miscommunication, the fake boyfriend comes clean and the couple decide to actually date for real
Capping things off, the former friend is forced to attend their wedding where he’s subjected to one final night of unholy noises
Does it all track? Or have I completely unraveled the conspiracy and stumbled onto a drastically personal set of circumstances being workshopped on Reddit? If so, that’s some ludicrously elaborate storytelling!
I need to know if I’m onto something here or completely off my rocker. If the former, I’ll burn every last calorie mapping out a master record of events across all the posts. If the latter … someone needs to drop their juicy fanfic writing prompts because these were WILDLY entertaining reads.
Help me connect these dots or point me towards any other potentially linked tales! This has been a public service aneurysm brought to you by pure boredom.
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u/scepeticbynature · 14h
Wow, you’ve gone full Sherlock Holmes with this. I’m dying at how insanely detailed your working theory is in tying together these random Reddit posts into one cohesive narrative. This is either a brilliant piece of performance art … or you need your meds adjusted, my friend.
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Reply to u/scepticbynature · 12h
Hahaha exactly! The amount of time and brain power OP has devoted to mapping this out is beyond obsessive. I don’t know whether to applaud the commitment to the bit or get them professional help.
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u/amateurdetective · 10h
I’m sorry, did you actually read through the posts in question? The intersecting pieces of random, elaborate backstory between all three distinct voices is way too specific and layered for it to be an accidental alignment. There are unambiguous throughlines about:
A pair of feuding former childhood best friends
One hiring a woman off Facebook to pose as his fake GF and torment the other as revenge
Said fake relationship descending into a very real emotional entanglement for both parties
The eventual fallout of the ex-friend having to bear witnessing the real couple’s wedding and chaos that followed
Like that’s such a bizarrely specific plot keeping consistent across three different users’ lenses! So you’re either pointing out the artistry of someone doing an incredibly elaborate creative writing exercise across multiple subs … or these people are just leading unbelievably unhinged lives. And part of me hopes it’s the latter? It’s too batshit crazy not to be true!
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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 9h
Or, and hear me out … it’s all an internal dialogue you’re having with your numerous Reddit personalities to work out your own unresolved relationship issues. We’re all just incredibly intricate fragments of your aching psyche!
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u/opinionatedtruther · 7h
Lmao you are both nuts, but I have to side with OP on this one. The chances of these being all interconnected fabricated stories is way too perfect to be an accident. All the tiny threads and recurring backstories/character details woven between wildly different subreddit posts? That’s not a coincidence.
I could buy it maybe being some extended Reddit fanfic experiment between a couple of redditors seeing who can craft more engaging characters and drama while world-building off each other’s plot threads. Like a weird form of collabing through the confined lens of Reddit posts. It would be pretty genius if so.
But for it to be entirely real with all the coinciding details scattered across entirely unrelated posts like that? I’m sorry, but there’s just no way. That’s beyond the scope of believability for me. OP may be bungling the conspiracy, but they’re onto something for sure!
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u/amateurdetective · 6h
THANK YOU, someone gets it! And to answer your other theory … while I can’t 100% rule out some sort of viral Reddit fanfic experiment, I struggle to believe even the most creative writers would be capable of improvising THAT intricately interconnected of a storyline stream-of-consciousness style like that.
Like each voice and perspective they inhabit remains remarkably consistent across such wildly different contexts (relationship drama, life events, ethical debates, and updates). It would take incredible skill to stay in the headspaces of these distinct individuals and keep their personalities/plot orbits from tangling into an incomprehensible mess. While possible, it seems incredibly unlikely.
That’s what has me believing there’s a remarkable kernel of stranger-than-fiction truth at the heart of this whole saga being teased out piece-by-piece. Or again … I’ve finally been gaslit into being a tin foil hatter of beautiful Reddit fantasies. Either way I’m here for it!
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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 3h
All I have to say is please touch some grass and post to r/creativewriting instead 🙄
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ratskinsuit · 3 months
Text
•𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐤 𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭•
Hazbin Hotel Lucifer Morningstar x gn!Reader
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“Lucifer has been very stressed lately due to all of the work being piled onto him, the things going on in heaven, and Charlie’s hotel idea. So as his loving partner, you decide to help him destress a little bit in a very fun way.”
Tags: Smut, Oral sex, Lucifers little whimpers, exhibitionism? , Dom!Reader (Kind of), Sub!Lucifer, x Reader, Office blow jobs
MDNI
(Please enjoy this fanfic, it may not be the best because I haven’t written smut before, criticism is welcome.)
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You have noticed that recently your husband, Lucifer, has been more stressed than usual. He has been neglecting his needs, locking himself in his room and burying himself in his work. He hasn’t been eating as much and he has bags under his eyes. You rarely see him out of his office, never seeing him at any meals.
So you decided that you would go and try to convince him to take a break. You made him some tea and something for him to eat, a grilled cheese, some warm tomato soup, and some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. After gathering all of the food on a tray, you head off to his office. Once you reach the office you put the tray in one hand and knock on the door three times.
“Come in.” You hear his tired voice say from the other side of the door.
You grasp the door knob and with a hum push it open and step inside, closing the door behind you.
At his desk Lucifer looks wrecked. He is sitting in his dress pants and a dress shirt, wrinkled and messed up, his sleeves pulled up to his biceps. His face furrowed in concentration, his eyes slightly bloodshot, with bags under his eyes. One of his hands is in his hands in his hair, gripping it tightly between his fingers in frustration, his bling licks messy.
He looks up as you enter and smiles tiredly. “Ah hello my love, do you need something?” He asks, sitting up straighter and trying to fix his shirt to not worry you.
You hum and bring over the tray setting it on his desk. “Well I know how stressed you have been lately, so I brought you some lunch and tea.” You say, setting his food out for him.
He gives you another smile, hey this time Warmer. “Oh thank you so much hunny, I completely forgot about eating.” He says, taking a sip from the tea and sighing.
You smile at him, and go behind the desk, stroking his hair with one hand, and the other rests in his shoulder, his face softening as you play with his messy locks, a most comfortable look now on his face.
“You really should take a break you know, all this stress isn’t good for you.” You say, and in response he lets out another sigh. “Well I can’t just take a break whenever I want, I mean I have duties hunny, I can’t just abandon them.”
“Are you sure? Not even just a tiny break?” You try to reason, your hand continuously petting his hair, and the other massaging his shoulder, trying to convince him. It seems to be working a bit, as he relaxes into the chair his eyes half lidded, yet his stubbornness still prominent.
“I don’t know…” He murmurs, rolling his arms as you massage them.
You pout, taking your hands off of him, causing him to whine a bit. You think for a moment, before an idea comes to you, a mischievous smirk making its way onto your face.
He notices it immediately and gives you a questioning look. “What are you thinking about hun?”
”Well how about I give you a little stress reliever while you work, hm?” You say, and before he can say anything getting on your knees and crawling under the desk.
“W-wait hunny what are you doing..? We can’t do this, s-someone might walk in, and- and I have to…” He trails off with a whimper as you begin to unzip his pants.
“Just keep quiet and keep doing your work and nobody will know.” You say with a wink, as you take out his red, already leaking cock.
He stares down at you before resting his arms on his desk, and whimpering, already breathing noticeably harder, even though you haven’t even touched him yet.
You stroke him a couple couple times. “Go on handsome, keep doing your work.” You say teasingly, and he whines a bit, grabbing his pen and trying to resume reading and signing.
You move your head closer to the head of his throbbing member, giving him a few kitten licks causing him to jolt,
“D-dear I don’t think I can do m… my work like this…” He say quietly, looking at you with a pleasing look on his face.
You ignore it, giving him a quick smirk as you begin to lick all around the shaft, starting from the base and moving up, earning you a groan from the man above.
You suck on the tip, swirling it around in your mouth with your tongue.
“F-..fuck darling ple- agh.. please stop teasing me…” Lucifer whimpers, squirming in his seat, panting harder now.
You continue to ignore it, your your tongue pressing against the slit, a loud moan rumbling above you.
You glance up to see your husband looking worse than before, his cheeks red, eyes watery, and hair somehow even worse than before. “My lah… love please…” He begs, more tears welling up in his eyes.
You decide to give him a break, and slowly start taking him into your mouth, going deeper down his shaft as he lets out a moan.
“Oh h-hell please p-p-lease oh agh… hng…” He moans, and squirms, obviously very pent up. He tries to thrust up into your mouth but you place my hands in his thighs, digging your nails into them, pulling an unhappy whine.
Once you reach the base you begin bobbing up and down, your tongue massaging his shaft.
“Oh h-hu- d-darling… please, I- Hng… I… hah.. fuck.. please..” Lucifer squirms and and moans loudly above you, one hand tangled in his hair, the other on the desk, breathing heavily, his eyes closed in pleasure, cheeks flushed.
With one of your hands you massage the inside of his thigh, causing him to get louder. “Please, I want- darling- m-mmm, nhg… please.. wanna, I need to- fuck…gonna- g’nna c-“ He babbles above you, barely able to make sentences, yet you can tell his close.
While you desperately want to tease him you decide against it, knowing he would probably break down with how stressed he already is.
You begin to suck and bob faster, you husband whining and pleading above you, you determainef to make his reach his peak.
“W-a- agh.. c-come.. fuck, gonna HNG, d-arling oh s-sa- Ang..” A few moment later mr moans out and releases, you swallow it all down, riding him through his orgasm until he is overstimulated and trying to get away.
You release him with a pop, standing up and wiping your mouth. Lucifer looks 10x worse than before, his hair sweaty and sticking out in all different ways, his face flushed red, his eyes half lidded and teary, still shaking from the aftershocks.
Despite this you give him a kiss on the forehead and a pat on the head. “I expect to see you at dinner tonight.” You say, before leaving.
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Well there is my first ever smut fic, and first fic in years! Criticism is accepted. Hope you enjoyed!
REQUESTS ARE OPEN
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bonchobrick · 1 year
Text
Dead on Main au where Jason is of course Danny’s Fright Knight and like all knights do he has a weapon—except it’s his gun.
The batfam + justice league + everyone (except ghosts duh) don’t know that his normal average everyday gun is actually like a super powerful spiritual soul shooter that is, yaknow, capable of blasting someone into an alternate dimension where their greatest fears become real.
So imagine there’s like a big battle where a ghastly ghoul reigns terror on Gotham. The world sends their best hero’s—wizards and occultists are notably high highest in demand—to stop the ghost but, nothing works. All of the weapons and spells and chants fail.
But,
As the fights worsens and the heros scream for people to flee suddenly--
Loud squeaking footsteps echo across the ground. Jason yawns strolling into the battle zone in a ghostbusters t-shirt plaid pants bunny slippers--he strolls up in pajamas--as if annoyed at being woken up and cocks his fucking normal 'i could buy you at walmart' gun at the ghost.
His brothers screech at him yelling ”Are you insane” and to "get the hell out of here" in fear and panic because their idiot brother is trying to kill a real life ghost with a damn gun.
But then Jason shoots the ghost and it works.
The ghost fizzles down with a cry into just a little blob.
The young man then spends 30 minutes lecturing the spirit saying things like “you’re glad I’m not calling the big guy” and “you know our highness would not be happy learning what you’ve been doing” before taking out a thermos of all things and sucking the ghost into it.
Jason then sighs and walks away as if he hadn’t just defeated a hell raising ghost with a gun people can buy off a corner pawn store and a soup container.
Immediately the bat family swarms him with questions
Dick grabs him by his shoulders tense with worry, “Are you okay?”
“Um yeah—“ Jason tries to reply squirming in his hold
Damian cuts him off, “How the hell did your gun a physical weapon hurt that ghastly demonic spirit!”
“Uh that ghost is actually pretty chill you guys just pissed him off." Jason replies plain
They stare at him with a look saying 'you did not call a ghost that has been decimating gotham chill' probably because he did just that.
Tim is the first to break out of the disbelief stupor as he very inteligently says, "What?"
Jason responds easily with a confused quirk in his brow, "Second, my gun affects entities of all sorts, perks to my job and all that."
"How did being a vigilante and also probably crime boss give you a gun that could do that?" Dick asks
Jason sends him a look saying "are you an idiot" as he replies, "Yea, sure, kicking petty thieves and druggies got me my all powerful spirit weapon--No you dumbass, it's from being the bodyguard of the King of the Infinite Realms! How the hell did you guys not think of that!”
Tim breathes in, then breathes out, then breathes in again and screams, "Why the HELL WOULD WE THINK OF THAT JAY?!"
"The--" Batman, suddenly beside them, chokes, "Bodyguard of T-the what."
Jason blinks at his family then his eyes widen, "Oh shit."
"What?!" His family screech in panic
"Oh fuck," Jason says with a growing hysteric smile, "Danny's gonna have a big ol' fucking laugh with this."
"Brother who is Danny!" Damian demands for an answer
Jason coughs into his palm, "Oh yeah you guys really dont dont know. So I may have forgotten to explain some... things."
Bruce levels him with a stare that says "you think?"
Jason chuckles nervously, "So y'know how I'm half dead?"
pause
Damian very eloquently responds for the suddenly dying screaming combusting members of his family, "...sure."
"Well I met the King of the afterlife which is like the Ruler of Everything and he was really cute--" Jason says distant in his own world
"Theres a afterlife?" Superman asks casually appearing beside the emotionally wrecked family
"Yea its pretty cool. So I start flirting a bit with the guy and we hit it off, I now im his zombie ghost knight boyfriend lover for all time. Oh and i got this sickass gun." Jason says with a happy grin
"That is a pretty sick gun." John Constantine nods
"I know right?" Jason chirps
"You wouldn't mind if I inspected--" John reaches his hand
Jason slaps it away, "Not a chance you soul whore. Y'know your basically the tax evasionist of the Ghost Zone right?"
John only sighs and leaves
"But yea so I'm like the ghost world equivalent to married with the king and became his knight and thats how I was able to stop that ghost guy." Jason reiterates as if explaining a simple question, "Y'guys get that?"
Tim is on the ground trying to decide whether; sobbing hysterically, interogating jason to find out all the things he doesn't want to know or sleeping would be a better use of his time.
Dick has decided to blame himself and has started to draft a reddit post in the middle of the street starting with "I (23 m) have a younger brother (19 m), who I used to resent but really regret now, he died and came back and doesn't even tell me about what goes on in his life anymore. How do I fix our--"
Damian is just staring at the gun and... Jason pushes it deeper in his holster and shifts to the side, better to be safe than sorry with this thieving shit.
As Jason adjusts his weaponry he hears Bruce sob in the background, "He didn't even invite me to the wedding! Am I that horrible of a father!"
Wonder Woman pats his shoulder reasuringly whilst the rest of the League seem to be trying to calm him down
Jason looks around tiredly at the mess he had created and decides fuck it
"Alright I'm heading out for the night, you guys get home safe!" He yells and without caring to listen to anyone and everyone voicing their confusion he zips open a green portal and stumbles in
He crashes down on an unbelievably comfortable bed
Danny blinks blearily before sending the young man a sleepy smile, "Hey Jay, what kept you up so long?"
Jason slipping under the blankets with a yawn says, "You would not believe the night I just had."
------------------
Edit: UMM HII The fic is out now here!! you guys are awesome I'll post the new chapter 2 in a hot sec after editting ^^
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azriels-shadowsinger · 2 months
Note
No. 13 for Azriel please ❤️❤️🤌✨
“Everything reminds me of you, it's driving me insane”
Azriel x Reader
wc: 1.4K
a/n: kinda inspired by cardan’s letters. if yall read the cruel prince series then u know. get ready for some angst yall.
prompt list
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“This is the last straw Azriel. I can’t handle not being a priority in your life! You always choose Rhys, Cassian, Elain, work, or literally anything else over me. I have only seen you once in the past week, and we live together for Cauldron’s sake! I feel like I live with a ghost. You’re gone before I wake up and you return after I fall asleep!” You yell between tears. “I can’t do this anymore. I love you, but it is too painful to keep living like this.” Azriel realizes where this is headed.
“Y/n, please. I’ll be better. I promise!” He begs, desperation in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Azriel. You had your chance, multiple actually. It’s too late.” You turn away, unable to look at his heartbroken face without potentially giving in. You can feel his shadows attempting to reach for you as you walk out the door.
———
January 7th
Dear y/n,
Rhys won’t tell me where exactly you left to, but promised he would deliver this. I understand that you are angry with me and that you need some time to calm down. I hope that you will return soon so we can work this out. I love you and I’m sorry.
Sincerely,
Azriel
———
January 29th
Dear y/n,
Point taken, dear. I know I messed up, but it’s been weeks and I miss you.
I know you are getting these letters. Rhys said he ensured they would be delivered. I guess that doesn't guarantee that you will read them. Nevertheless, I am sorry for my actions and I am taking steps to create boundaries in my life so that I can have more time for you. I can prove it, if only you would just come home.
With deepest apologies,
Azriel
———
February 14th
My love,
I had hoped you would return before Valentine's Day. You always loved celebrating this holiday. I know you won’t see them, but I still got you flowers. They're on your nightstand.
It's been over a month. I miss your voice. Please come home.
Azriel
———
March 7th
Y/n,
If this is your way of punishing me, then consider it a success. I’m a wreck without you. Please come home.
-Azriel
———
March 30th,
My heart,
I am begging you to come home. Come home and yell at me, come home and fight with me, just please come home. I love you and I’m so sorry.
Always with love,
Azriel
———
May, 15th,
Y/n,
I understand what you meant about feeling like you were living with a ghost. Everything reminds me of you, and it’s driving me insane. I am haunted by these traces of you around our home. Please end this torment and come back to me.
-Azriel
———
June 7th
I’m sorry.
I love you.
Why are you doing this to me?
I hate myself for causing this and pushing you away.
Do you still love me? Do you even miss me?
Please come home I can’t take it anymore.
I love you I love you I love you I love you
I miss you.
———
Y/n,
This is my last letter. I won’t bother you anymore after this. I hope that wherever you are, you are happy. I will always regret taking your love for granted.
Eternally yours,
Azriel
———
It was another sleepless night for Azriel. He was plagued with the memories of every single time he chose something or someone else over you. He’s past the point of beating himself up over it, but rather, he considers this the worst punishment of all. Being forced to relive each memory over and over, unable to change it. Hating himself and drowning his sorrows in whiskey.
He hears a knock at the door. It’s probably Cass or Rhys, doing their weekly check on him, since he rarely leaves the house anymore. Azriel chooses to ignore them.
They knock again.
“Fuck off, I’m not in the mood tonight guys.” He barks in the direction of the door, taking another sip of his whiskey.
Another knock.
Cauldron boil him, his brothers were relentless. He was going to open the door, but only to yell at them to leave. He grumbles angrily to himself all the way to the door.
“I said I wasn’t-“ It's not Rhys or Cassian on his doorstep. Instead, he sees you, holding a stack of letters. His letters.
This is another dream, he thinks. He must have fallen asleep on the couch. When he wakes you will be gone again, having torn the rip in his heart even wider. But until then, he lets himself indulge in the dream. Azriel doesn’t hesitate for another moment before pulling you into a tight hug.
“My dreams must be especially cruel tonight because somehow I am able to smell your perfume. I can feel your heartbeat.” He mumbles, face buried in your hair. His shadows encompass you two, whispering in Azriel’s ear y/n, y/n, y/n
“This isn’t a dream, Azriel.” You say softly, pulling away to look at him and placing a gentle hand on his cheek. It takes him a moment to realize what’s happening, but as soon as he does, he pulls you back into a hug, even tighter than before. You feel hot tears fall onto your shoulder as his shadows surge around you.
“My love, my heart, my star. You came back to me.” He sobs. Your heart breaks at the pain in his voice. You had known he was probably upset about the breakup, but in an attempt to heal and move on, you never opened his letters… until last night.
After several long minutes of intense bear hugs, he finally manages to let go. Well kind of, he can’t seem to let your hand go yet.
“We should talk, Az.” You say nervously.
“I will do anything you want if it means you will stay.”
Gods, you were the worst person in the world. This poor male, who you still love desperately despite your best efforts, is so broken over you leaving.
“I’m not going anywhere, Az.” You reassure him. He finally loses a small bit of tension in his shoulders a the words, but his hands seem to hold tighter. You take a deep breath, trying to prepare for what you have to say.
“I didn’t read your letters until last night. I was trying to get over you, and so I avoided reading them. In an attempt to move on, I had convinced myself you were happy without me. But I couldn’t move on. I couldn't stop loving you. When I finally read your letters, I realized you truly had changed. I should’ve read them months ago. I should've never left. I’m so sorry Azriel. I understand if you need time or if you can’t forgive me but-“ He cuts you off.
“I forgive you. I don’t need time. I only need you here.” He’s so quick to dismiss every mistake you made, it breaks your heart. It will take a long while to reassure him that you aren’t ever leaving again, maybe a lifetime, but that’s okay.
You take notice of his dark circles and how skinny he has gotten. Gods, has he eaten at all since you left, you wonder.
“Let me make us some dinner, then we can talk more, okay?” Azriel nods and reluctantly lets go of your hand, following you to the kitchen like a lost puppy.
———
After several long hours of tears and brutal honesty, you and Azriel lay in your bed, embracing each other.
You spent the next week holed up in the house, reconnecting and reigniting your love for each other. You even took extra time to apologize to his shadows. They were very happy that you were back and made sure to show you so.
True to his word, Azriel never took your love for granted for as long as you both lived. And true to yours, you never left again.
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I think I may do this prompt again later with someone else in more of a rivals to lovers type scenario, but I kinda just felt like this was fun for this one and wanted to try it idk
prompt list
taglist: @fxckmiup
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steddiehyperfixation · 5 months
Text
don't you forget about me (part six)
(part one)(part two)(part three)(part four)(part five)
Steve allows himself a brief mental breakdown in the shower when he gets home. He lets the water mix with his tears as he curls his arms around himself and wishes with everything he is that they were Eddie’s. There’s nothing he wouldn’t give right now just to be held by him again, just to feel Eddie’s arms around him one more time. All it took was a tiny kiss on the back of his hand for Steve’s skin to remember just how much it missed that feeling. Now Steve’s entire body craves Eddie’s touch, and he shakes in its absence like an addict in withdrawal. 
Then he puts himself back together, gets dressed and styles his hair and heads off to work. 
They’d defeated Vecna before he could split the world into pieces or whatever his diabolical plan had been. So while Steve’s whole world may have been torn apart, while Steve’s whole world lays bruised and bandaged and amnesic in a hospital bed, the rest of the world carries on none the wiser. The rest of the world still rents VHS tapes and has movie nights and date nights and no fucking clue that they were seconds away from being dragged down into a hell dimension a couple weeks ago, so Family Video is still open for them. Fuck that. 
“You’ve gotta handle the customers today because if someone starts asking me stupid questions I can’t promise I won’t snap at them,” Steve tells Robin as he drives them to their shift. 
“Aw, but it’s so funny when you snap at them,” Robin quips. 
“Robin.” He gives her his best I’m so fucking serious look. 
Her humor dries up immediately and she nods solemnly. “Alright, yeah. I got it.” 
Steve sighs, pulling into the parking lot. “Thank you.” 
He busies himself with cataloging and reshelving and rewinding returns while Robin takes over the customer service part of the job. It’s mindless - mind-numbing - the monotony of the tasks exactly what Steve needs to dull out the thoughts in his brain and distract himself from the way the back of his hand still tingles from Eddie’s kiss. 
When the afternoon rush dies down after a few hours and the store is all but empty, Robin sidles up next to him where he’s putting away a stack of fantasy films. “Hey.” 
Her voice cuts through his focus and nearly startles Steve out of his skin. “Jesus! Don’t sneak up on me like that.” 
“Sorry.” She grabs half the stack of tapes and starts helping him shelve. “Just wanted to check in with you, we haven’t gotten much of a chance to talk today. How are things going with Eddie?” 
“It’s fine. He’s fine,” Steve grumbles, glaring down at the tape in his hands. It’s got a dragon on the cover. He thinks Eddie would probably like it. “He still doesn’t remember me, but he’s starting to see me as a friend now at least, so.” Steve shoves the movie into its spot on the shelf. “That’s something, right?” 
Robin raises her eyebrows at the sharp bitterness in his tone and how forcefully he put the tape away. “Okay. Yeah. So I see we’re in the anger stage of grief now,” she comments. 
Steve scoffs. If this is a stage of grief, he thinks he’s been going through them in the wrong order, or maybe all at once - a neverending ebb and flow of denial and anger and depression all swirled together into one fucked up cocktail of grief. “I’m not angry,” he says, rubbing his hands over his face. “I’m just tired- emotionally burnt out, I don’t know. I just miss him and it’s not fair and I’m so fucking sick of feeling like this.” 
“Yeah, that’s anger, Steve,” Robin says, infuriatingly blunt. She slides the last tape in her stack into its place and then leans against the shelf. “Did something else happen to set this off, or are you just generally overwhelmed?” 
Steve sags against the shelf beside her. “Both. I don’t know. It’s stupid, it’s so fucking stupid. He just- he kissed my hand this morning, that’s it, and it wrecked me.” 
“He what?” Robin questions, curiosity widening her eyes. 
“He kissed my hand,” Steve repeats. He sighs and adds context, gives her a full recount of the events of that morning.
“Oh my god?!” Robin practically squawks as she backhands Steve’s arm, which is definitely not the comforting words or touch he needs from her right now. 
“Ow!” he yelps, rubbing his arm. “What the hell was that for?” 
“Dude. He was flirting with you,” she tells him, eyes even wider now like she’s trying to explain to him something obvious. 
“What? No.” Steve shakes his head, looking at her like she’s crazy. “He definitely wasn’t.” 
“Ughhh,” Robin lets out a long, dramatic groan, dragging her hands down her cheeks and pulling down her eyes. “I cannot do this with you two again. He totally was.” She drops her hands from her face so she can use them to illustrate her point as she starts to lists off, “First of all, he literally called you daddy-” 
“As a joke,” Steve interrupts to protest. 
“Yeah, a flirtatious one,” Robin retorts. She continues, “Then he said you have a magic touch, and then his heart literally started racing for no reason-”
“Because I was stressing him out!” 
“Only after his heart rate went up in the first place, which, as I was saying, was for no reason other than the fact that you were smiling at him and holding his hand-” 
“That literally doesn’t-” 
“And then, he kissed your hand - pressed his lips to your skin - and told you that you were his good luck charm,” Robin finishes, looking smug like she’s said something novel and not just completely reiterated exactly what Steve had just told her only with more emphasis. 
He sighs wearily. “Your point?” 
“He likes you, dingus,” she says, whacking his arm again. “Don’t you get it? His mind may not remember still, but his heart is starting to.”
Steve doesn’t know what to do with that. A lump rises in his throat, a rush of jumbled emotions chafing against his already frayed edges. “Don’t say that. You don’t know that.”
“I think you should tell him what you were to each other,” Robin suggests. 
“Right, yeah, okay, sure,” Steve scoffs, somewhere between sarcastic and hysterical. “And while we’re at it, I think you should tell Vickie that you like her. Because telling people things like that is so easy, isn’t it?” 
Robin gives him a withering stare. “That is not the same thing at all, and you know it.”
“No, yeah, you’re right,” he agrees. “Because I know Eddie, and he would not take that news well. He already gets a little weird whenever I seem to know too much about him - if I tell him I know him biblically too-” 
“Ew, don’t tell him like that!” 
“Doesn’t matter if I tell him like that; I say we’ve been together for 9 months, he’s going to assume we’ve-” 
“God, okay, I get it!”
“See? It would freak him out,” Steve concludes, crossing his arms. “Even if he does…like me again or whatever, he definitely wouldn’t anymore and it would just generally make him uncomfortable. So I can’t tell him. I just have to keep waiting for him to remember on his own, even though it’s fucking killing me,” he says, his voice harsh as he tries to keep it from breaking. “It’s what’s best for Eddie.” 
“Steve-” Robin starts, frowning like she’s only just beginning to realize she may have pushed him too far, but whatever it is she was going to say is cut off by the ringing of the bell that announces the front door being open. 
“Customers.” Steve points his chin towards the couple who just walked in, a bitter jealousy boiling in his stomach as he watches them walk hand in hand towards the romance aisle. It’s not fucking fair. He shoves himself away from the shelves and mutters, “I’m taking my break.”
He stalks to the breakroom, closes the door, and sinks to the floor with his back against it. The tears in his eyes feel like they’re made of acid, like they would carve tracks into his skin if they were to spill down his cheeks. He wraps his arms around himself again. The thoughts in his head are made of acid too, bitter and burning and cursing everyone who gets to enjoy their lover's touch while he suffers without his. 
Steve’s brain feels corroded, corrupted. “He likes you,” Robin’s words echo there too, “his mind may not remember still, but his heart is starting to.” Would Eddie touch him now if he asked? Would he trace his fingers across Steve’s skin, kiss more than just the back of his hand? Steve digs his own fingers into his sides. He feels gross, he feels rotten. It wouldn’t be right to ask that of Eddie without him knowing the truth, to take advantage of him like that. It wouldn’t be the same, anyways. The superficial touch of a boy with the beginnings of a crush is not the tender lover’s caress that Steve craves. 
That is if Robin is even right about Eddie redeveloping feelings. Which she probably isn’t.
Steve’s just being stupid and selfish again. He wants to remove his brain from his skull so he can stop thinking, tear his heart from his chest so he can stop feeling; both so burned and decayed he thinks if he held them in his hands they would dissolve and crumble to dust and ash and sludge between his fingers. 
Fifteen minutes pass, and Steve forces himself to be fine. He peels himself off the breakroom floor and returns to work, continues the tedious tasks that he hopes will numb him out again. 
Robin catches his eye from across the room where she’s sorting a customer’s cash at the register. I’m sorry, her expression says, I didn’t mean to make you upset. 
Steve gives a tiny shake of his head and a small smile. It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault, his own expression reassures her. You meant well. I’m not mad at you. 
They don’t talk about Eddie again that day. The next time there’s a lull in customers and they’re able to chat again, Steve tells Robin he honestly just needs a distraction right now, and he lets her ramble on about Vickie and band and school and her impending graduation and the movie she watched last night and whatever other random thoughts are bouncing around that hyperactive head of hers. Her voice fills in the cracks in Steve’s brain, keeps it from falling apart completely. She’s always been good at that, and he’s grateful for it. 
Then he drops Robin off after work and he drives away alone in silence because all the songs on the radio are love songs, and he drives back to the hospital - back to the source of his grief again and again like some sort of fucking masochist - because Eddie needs him. Because Steve loves him.
~
Eddie cannot help the way his face all but beams the second Steve walks back into his room that evening. “There you are, Stevie! How was work?”
Steve returns the smile, genuine, but there’s a tiredness to it. “It was alright. Bit boring, really, uneventful. How are you doing?” 
“I’m good,” Eddie says, adding with a jaunty grin, “All the better now that you’re back.” 
It comes out a bit more flirtatious than he intended, but thankfully Steve just laughs it off. “Alright, smoothtalker,” he scoffs through a chuckle as he takes his usual seat by the bed. “It’s nice to see you again too.”
“Oh, the actual doctor came in to talk to me today. Good news, don’t worry,” Eddie tells him, the last bit tacked on quickly before that concerned crease can appear between Steve’s brows. “She says I’m healing up nicely, and I might be able to be discharged soon. A few more days’ observation and then they're gonna see how well I can actually move since, you know, the bats chewed through half the muscles in one of my legs. But, yeah, I could be out of here by the end of next week.” 
“That’s great, Eddie!” Steve brightens. 
“Yeah.” Eddie smiles. “I can’t wait to be somewhere familiar, feel normal again. Or, well,” he amends, smile falling a little as he realizes, “as normal as I can feel given that I’ll probably be walking with a limp for the rest of my life and be covered in nasty scars all over.” 
A strange expression crosses Steve’s face then, something happy and sad and sympathetic all at once, and his voice is soft as he says, “We’ll match.” 
Eddie blinks at him. “What?”
“The scars,” Steve clarifies. “The bats got me too, you know. I was lucky, it wasn’t as bad for me as it was for you, but, uh- yeah, we’ll match. See?” He stands and pulls his shirt up a bit. 
Eddie’s heart rate immediately kicks up again, blood growing warm, as his eyes snap to Steve’s stomach, to skin and muscle and body hair and- oh. Two giant, jagged red scabs cover Steve’s sides, the edges fading into skin bumpy and pink and white with the beginnings of scarring. The bite on Eddie’s own side twinges in sympathy. “That’s-” He swallows back the word hot, and breathes out instead, “Holy shit.” Without really thinking, he finds himself reaching out to skim his fingers over the ridges of Steve’s scars. 
Steve gasps - full body shudders - at the touch, and Eddie instantly pulls his hand back, afraid he’s hurt him. “Sorry,” he mutters.
“No, it’s fine,” Steve manages, though it sounds a bit shaky. “You didn’t hurt me, I just- I wasn’t expecting it.” 
Eddie tentatively starts to reach back out; Steve nods. He slowly traces the outline of the wound again, every uneven edge, feeling the evidence of hurt and the evidence of healing and the ripple of each breath Steve takes - breaths that echo in the quiet that falls between them. Eddie doesn’t realize just how intimate this silence has become as he runs his hands across Steve’s skin, until he glances up to find Steve just…watching him. It’s impossible to tell exactly what emotion is behind his eyes, but it’s intense and it’s devastating, and Eddie suddenly feels like he can’t breathe. 
“Uh-” A nervous laugh stutters out of him. He rescinds his touch. “Twin scars, huh?” he remarks, cracking a crooked smile and attempting to change this strange, suffocating energy with a joke. “Hell of a matching tattoo. Next time let’s just exchange friendship bracelets like normal people do, yeah?”
Steve huffs, a short burst of laughter that escapes from his chest like it’s been punched out of him. “Since when have you ever done anything like a normal person?” he teases in return as he pulls his shirt back down.
Just like that, blown away by Steve’s playful smile, the weird tension lifts. Eddie grins back. “Alright, fair point.” He adds, “Those are gonna be some pretty metal scars, Stevie.”
“Not as metal as yours,” Steve says warmly, settling back in his chair and kicking one leg over the other. “You’re the one that literally survived death, Ed. It doesn’t get any more metal than that.” 
“Now who’s the smoothtalker?” Eddie smirks, and he hopes he isn’t blushing. Steve Harrington calling him metal with so much pride and affection in his voice is doing numbers on his heart. Curse this stupid fucking crush.
Steve eyes divert briefly to the heart monitor, which has not once calmed down since the second he’d lifted up his shirt, and Eddie is so sure that he knows then, that he’s finally made the connection between what’s got Eddie’s heart racing, but he doesn’t say anything, just laughs it off again, smiling like everything’s completely normal as he looks back at Eddie and rolls his eyes and mutters in return, “Shut up.” 
“Make me,” Eddie mumbles, not quick enough to bite back the words before they fall from his mouth, only managing to lower his voice enough that maybe Steve didn’t hear him. 
“What?” 
“TV?” Eddie grabs the remote, pretends like that’s what he’d said in the first place. Real smooth. 
“Oh, sure.” Steve shrugs. If he noticed Eddie’s slip, he gives no indication of it. 
Eddie turns on the TV and they spend the next hour or so laughing and making fun of the bad acting on the show that’s playing. Easy, normal, platonic. Eddie’s heart rate stabilizes, remaining even so long as he doesn’t look too long at Steve’s smile. 
When sleep starts lapping at Eddie’s consciousness, he doesn’t fear it anymore. Silently, he holds out his hand, and Steve takes it, wrapping him in the warmth and protection that allows Eddie to let himself drift off undaunted. 
And in his dreams his hands skate across Steve’s skin again.
(part seven)
taglist (CLOSED): @romanticdestruction @daydreamsandcrashingwaves @paintsplatteredandimperfect @hallucinatedjosten @mugloversonly @estrellami-1 @alongcomesaspider @thatonebadideapanda @tell-me-a-secret-a-nice-one @dragonmama76 @wxrmland @nuggies4life @sirsnacksalot @myguiltyartpleasure @lolawonsstuff @marklee-blackmore @vinteraltus @sebastiansstanswhore @0happyeverafter0 @scarlet-malfoy @hotluncheddie @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @emsgoodthinkin @alyelf @warlordess @stevesbipanic @lil-gremlin-things @rockandrolodex @badcaseofcasey @bat-outta-hel @fandomcartographer @manda-panda-monium @littlewildflowerkitten @giopandaonice @mightbeasleep @queenie-ofthe-void @krazyperson @worldofshea @marvel-ous-m @tartarusknight @a-little-unsteddie @xenon-demon @goodolefashionedloverboi @xxsky-shockxx @mc-i-r @bookbinderbitch @aspenshade88 @slowandsteddie @thedragonsaunt @daydreaming-mood @space-invading-pigeon @irregular-child @a-lovely-craziness (taglist continued in replies; please lmk if you'd like to be removed from this list. if you didn't make the taglist but still wanna follow along, you can follow the tag #dyfamsteddiefic to keep up with new updates!)
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jewels-writes · 5 months
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Call of Duty - Fatal Injury Scenarios
Warnings: There is character death in all of these. You, the reader, are fatally injured. In Keegan's, there are themes of drug overdose, I know some people can be considerably sensitive to that. Please consider this your warning. Do not read further if you feel you may be triggered by these topics. Included Characters: Ghost, Price, Keegan, König Word Count: 1.9k Notes: This is very lightly proofread, apologies for inconsistencies or typos/grammatical errors. As always, requests are open. — — — —
Ghost (gunshot):
You and Ghost were paired up for a mission, per usual. You had to clear a building, you took the upstairs, Ghost took the ground floor. You heard the occasional pop of gunfire from downstairs, praying it was Ghost’s gun that was making the sounds.
Focusing on your own work, you cleared the upstairs rooms, being as thorough as possible. As you went through the rooms, you gunned down the enemy, not hesitating once. You were a soldier, you knew hesitating could mean life or death.
“Clear.” you relayed into your communications headset. Before you could turn your radio off, a door swung open at you, the enemy raising their gun and putting three rounds through your chest. Your vest normally would have stopped the bullets, but not this close. You made a gurgling noise before crumpling to the ground, your gun clattering out of your hand beside you.
“Report in, what’s going on up there?” Ghost demanded, making his way to the stairs, gun trained at the top of them. “Soldier, come in.” He ordered, but got nothing in response. He knew something was wrong. You didn’t respond, you couldn’t. Not when your lungs were turned to swiss cheese.
He saw the figure of a body on the ground and after seeing the uniform, he knew it was you. You looked dead.
“Fuckin’ hell..” He clenched his jaw and looking around, his gun raised, waiting for the enemy. He knew they were lurking around here somewhere. He heard a floorboard creek off to the right and burst the door down, shooting the enemy with deadly precision. He didn’t stop even after they’d fallen to the ground. He was furious, angry that the enemy had been able to touch you.
With the threat neutralized, Ghost moved to your side, kneeling beside you. His hands hovered over you, unsure how to fix your injury. His face contorted beneath his mask, realizing the bullets went through your vest and to your vitals. His eyes looked up to yours, looking for a sign of life.
Your labored breathing gave him hope. Hope that you were hanging on. 
“Can you hear me..?” His voice was low and careful, his eyes searching your confused expression. “You did good, soldier. You did good.” He could see you were losing your fight and his gloved hand came down to cup your cheek, his thumb rubbing your skin.
He was beside you as you took your last painful breath, his hand on your cheek. His heart seemed to stop with yours. He grieved in silence, never being a man of many words when it came to losing someone. Gently, he removed your dogtag, placing it next to his own.
“Until we meet again, soldier.” — — — —
Price (bombed):
After the mission, everyone was exhausted as they all squished into the transport truck. Price sat next to you, his hand resting on your thigh. It was a tough fight, and he knew you needed your rest. He guided your head to his shoulder, a normal routine between the two of you.
Just as your eyes began to close, there was an explosion in the distance.. It sounded like bombing. Then there was another one. And another. Getting louder. Getting closer.
“Price? What’s going on?” You asked, lifting your heard from his shoulder and looking around.
The next instant everything went black. The truck was targeted by an aircraft, the spraying of it’s missiles were the last thing you heard before you passed out. 
When you came to, it was to Price dragging you out of the wreck. The next thing you registered was the agonizing pain you were in. Everything hurt, everything burned. It was like you’d been used as a punching bag before being thrown into an oven.
“Shh, shh. You’re okay. You’re okay.” Price’s voice was in your ear as he pulled you away from the burning wreck, his fingers looped into your vest’s handles on the back. “Look at me, you’re okay.” He muttered with a grunt, pulling you away farther.
You tried to talk, tried to ask him what happened. But you couldn’t, didn’t quite know why. Reaching a hand up, you felt around your neck, feeling an uncomfortable pressure there. Your hand froze when you felt hot liquid.
“John-” You mouthed, a dreadful realization dawning on you. Hearing your struggle, his eyes met yours before flicking down to where your hand was probing at your neck. You saw his anguish in his expression, no matter how hard he tried to mask it.
“Oh, shit.” Was all he could manage. “Look at me, you’re gonna be fine. It looks worse than it is.” He lied through his teeth, kneeling beside you, one of his hands running through your hair, the other hovering over your neck. He knew you wouldn’t make it. The gash had gone through an artery. He could see the inside of your neck.
“Shh.. shh.. I’m here. Look at me.” He soothed you, placing both hands on either side of your face, looking you in your eyes. “You did good. You’re the best of the best.” He tried his best to not get choked up. He could see you were fading, the blood spilling from your neck onto the ground, staining the grass a brutal red.
He watched as the last remnants of life flickered out of your eyes, left open and unseeing. His face contorted as he registered that he watched your final breath. He reached a hand up to cover his mouth in despair.
“I’m sorry, my sunshine.” Price felt the tears running down his face as he retracted his other hand. Reaching for your dogtag, he clutched it in his fist, holding it to his chest. “I won’t forget you.” — — — —
Keegan (overdose):
“Sweetheart? I’m home!” Keegan called as he kicked off his shoes in the entryway to your shared home. Normally he’d hear you bounding down the stairs, eager to hug him after he’d been away after a long mission, tackling him near to the ground. It sent a pang of concern through his body when he heard nothing but the air conditioning unit in response. “Honey? Where are you?” He called out again, his body tense with gnawing dread. Something felt wrong.
Everything in the immediate area looked fine, but he couldn’t rule out a potential break in. Not when you were his lover. Not when you meant so much to him. His hand reached for his concealed pistol, unclipping the button that covered it, resting his hand on the body of it, ready to use it if necessary.
Remaining quiet, he searched the house, starting with the main areas. Living room, dining room, kitchen. All clear. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, it dawned on him that you could just be asleep. He jogged up the stairs, ignoring the soreness from deployment. 
The light was off in your shared room. It made him feel slightly relieved, realizing you were probably just asleep and that he’d been worked up over nothing.
Quietly turning the knob, he opened the door and let out a slow breath. There you were, sound asleep on his side of the bed, holding one of his hoodies he’d left you. 
“Christ. You’re asleep. Had me worried as hell.” He grumbled, taking his hand off his pistol and walking around to the side of the bed and switching the lamp on, hoping to slowly wake you up. As he retracted his hand from the bedside table, he froze, his eyes catching a pill bottle he hadn’t seen before he left for his mission. Was it new? Picking it up, he inspected the label. “Sleeping pills..? How many..” His voice trailed off as he looked back over to you, his eyes on your back, looking for breathing. For any movement.
“Sweetheart? Oh shit.” His voice gained volume as he shook your shoulder. Nothing. “Babe, wake up right fucking now.” His voice grew more concerned. Reaching for your wrist, he begged silently for a pulse, his stomach dropping when he didn’t feel one.
“No.. no please.” Keegan’s voice hitched as he pressed harder into your cold skin. It was no use. Your life had been taken hours before he arrived home. It was an accident, you were just trying to get some sleep, turning to pills to help your insomnia. You’d taken too many.
“Why..? Oh my god.. Sweetheart, please don’t do this to me. You were my everything..” — — — —
König (poison):
The mission was going smoothly, no issues yet. You and König worked together like a well-oiled machine, picking up the slack where the other lacked perfectly. As you and him reached the office, König motioned for you to go in, implying he’d stand guard as you grabbed the intel needed.
Nodding, you stepped inside, doing a quick sweep over the small office. There was no one inside, just a normal office space. Moving the the computer, you powered it on, hooking up your own laptop to break into the locks. As you worked, you felt on edge, like somethin was wrong. This was too easy. As you saw the file on the desktop, hidden under a false name, you faltered.
Cursing at yourself, you clicked on it anyway. The instant that you did, the room went dark, replaced by a flashing red that came with alarms sounding. König, who’d been standing just outside the door, immediately tried to help, his hand shaking the handle of the now locked door.
“Shit-! It’s a trap!” He called from the other side. “Are you okay? What’s going on in there?” He demanded, his voice high with concern. Looking around, you realized something. The room was filling with some kind of gas. 
Hurriedly, you stuffed your laptop back into your pack before rushing over to the door, putting your whole body weight against it. Your hand came up to cover your mouth as the gas reached your face. You realized it was some kind of toxin. And of course you didn’t have a gas mask. 
“Schatz! Get out of there!” König shouted from the other side, his fists connecting with the door. “Back up! I’m kicking the door in.” He ordered, hoping you’d get out of the way in time.
Stumbling back, you leaned heavily on the desk, the toxin affecting you. Your knees were weak, you felt your mind detach from your body. You couldn’t control it when your body slumped to the ground, your eyes rolling back.
As König delivered a devastating blow to the door, it flew off of it’s hinges, landing on the other side of the room. “Schatz! Nein.. nein.. Look at me.” He kneeled beside you, tapping your cheek. Cursing to himself, he put his arms under you, hoisting you up over his shoulder as he began to run out of the toxic office space. When you two were out of the building, he propped you up against the wall, his stomach flipping when your body was completely limp.
“Hey, hey, wake up.” He begged, shaking your shoulders as he squatted beside you. “Gott verdammt, look at me!” With a sickening realization, he saw you weren’t breathing. “Nein..” He muttered as it felt like his heart shattered in two.
“Schatz.. Come on.. Open your eyes.” He begged, cupping your face in his hands. It was useless, whatever you’d breathed in was toxic enough to kill you. 
“I’m so sorry.. I failed you..”
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redwineandtarot · 9 months
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your life 5 years from now (timeless)
hi! today we will take a look at how your life looks like 5 years from now. this is a timeless reading so whenever this find you, you can read it. we have free will, i am just reading energies so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. i would love to hear your feedbacks <3
🥀paid readings🥀
Disclaimer: My readings do NOT replace any professional advice. Use your own judgment while making decisions. You have your own free will. Take everything I say light-heartedly. All of my readings are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.
pick a pile
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piles 1-2
3-4
i do not own these pictures
pile 1
In the next 5 years you will reap what you sow pile 1! I see amazing opportunities career wise. These opportunities will come to you because you are stepping out of your comfort zone and working hard for what you want. You will be stepping up your game and leading your life with proudness. You are action oriented for sure.
You may start doing the things you were afraid of before. Because you are in a more action-oriented mode, you will overcome those fears. At first you will do them while you are scared, but as time goes by you will overcome them.
I see such a confident person pile 1!
For a while you may have been on guard about love. This may have been because of a betrayal or not seeing a healthy relationship example (when you were a child etc.). I see that changing. A person will come who is going to change your outlook on love. They are very loving and giving. You may also do charity work with them. While you are action-oriented career wise, I see your lover coming to you. 
I talked a lot about material gains. However you are stepping up your game also spiritual-wise. I said you will reap what you sow. You will and manifesting them will help you get them. Spirit is suggesting you to start manifesting if you don't already. You could do a vision board etc. Whatever feels right to you.
Your intuition will be heightened, like A LOT. Because the card to represent you is the MYSTIC. You will be one with the divine.
At the end of this 5 year period, you will have gone through a massive change. This will lead you to be more confident and be more accepting of yourself. I see you living an authentic life. This massive change will also have an impact on your spirituality.
I talked about you being action oriented, but I still see you preserving your feminine side. You will, thus, have a great balance of feminine-masculine energies, material-spiritual world etc. 
Overall I see you quite content with your life, pile 1.
The area of life going through the most transformation: 6th house What energy you will be in: Taurus Your uranus placement will be guiding for you in the next 5 years.
thank you for reading💕
pile 2
This may be literal or metaphorical depending on your situation:
I see someone’s heart getting broken, or going through something hard. However instead of this wrecking them completely, they rise up stronger than ever. This person I am seeing, uses this experience to create a masterpiece of some sort. To let people know that they are not the only ones going through this. Let them help with their sorrow. And this creation makes the wheels turn: they become someone people look up to, they achieve great success.
The first thing I wanna say is: You will get what you deserve pile2.  
You may have gone through something in the past or recently that affects you now. If not (please do not be scared) I see you going through something heavy emotionally. This thing depends from person to person. You are/will be victimizing yourself a lot. However when you come out of this energy, the real deal will begin. Like I said in the intro; this will inspire you to do something creative, it doesn't have to be related to art/music but for most of you it is. If it's not related to art/music, it may be becoming a psychologist etc.  
From this point on you will have regained your trust in the universe and in yourself. You will start doing whatever this is. For some of you, this is a childhood dream. (This is a confirmation for you to go for it.) Just this heartbreak inspires you to take action on this dream. Whatever you do, your path/creations will help people in some way. And as a result you will gain great success. Jupiter will bless you with happiness and abundance. Because you will be taking responsibility for yourself and will surrender to the divine. 
Spirit again and again tells me that you need to have faith in your dreams, they are coming true in the next 5 years as long as you take responsibility and trust the universe. You just need to be patient.
Believe in yourself pile 2, because me and the spirit really do.
The area of life going through the most transformation: 1st house What energy you will be in: Capricorn Your venus placement will be guiding for you in the next 5 years.
thank you for reading💕
pile 3
Your different aspects find life, pile 3. I see you as a multi talented/multi faceted person and all of your versions are blossoming 5 years from now. You are acknowledging your different versions as a person, and nourishing them throughout these 5 years and in the end these different aspects of you will shine brightly together, I see.
You are also tackling more than one job/hobby at once. Maybe you have a main job and a side job/passion project. Or just lots of hobbies. However you are working hard in general. But this is not just a “work to work” thing. You really do enjoy the things you do. I see you living an authentic life. You probably have lots of goals and are working hard to achieve them. By the end of 5 years you will have achieved great things however after these 5 years I see even BETTER blessings coming your way. It’s like you're at the verge of a BIG breakthrough.
I see you financially well off. However you do not stop. You still try to find ways to make more money and better yourself. I see you as an ambitious person.
If you haven't found it yet, you will find your “personal calling”. Or if you have that sort of thing, you will find other things that will light your soul up. Luck will be on your side throughout these 5 years.
I also see you doing shadow work and healing the deep wounds you have inside. (For some, especially regarding money. Maybe some of you struggle(d) from being envious of financially well off people. ) Whatever it is, you are healing.
You are so grateful for the life you are living. I see you quite content with your life. You are emotionally fulfilled. A lot will happen in these 5 years.
You will find a great balance of giving-receiving, moving-resting, planning-accepting etc. You will listen to your soul and body more as well as the universe.
The area of life going through the most transformation: 7th house What energy you will be in: Leo Your north node placement will be guiding for you in the next 5 years.
thank you for reading💕
pile 4
First of all, I see that you have achieved a great balance in your life. You may be lacking some balance regarding an aspect of your life. I see that resolving in the next five years. Also an issue regarding your personal life. That will resolve too, whether it is connected to your balance or not. 
You will realize your real potential and take the reins. I suggest you to look up your south and north nodes because they will help you get to know yourself more. You will be showing up to the world as your authentic self. I am not meaning that every secret of your will be on display but you are not people pleasing etc. On the contrary you are keeping your secrets and are working in silence. Yes, this transformation will be shocking to most of the people because you won't be telling most of the people/anyone. For example you may want to start a dance class, you will go there in silence and when people see how well you dance after a while they will be shocked because you haven't told them. 
You are not shying away from challenges, pile 4. I see you as a brave person. And I think that’s what makes this transformation bigger and more impactful.
Prior to transforming (or at the beginning), you will go on maybe a hermit mode? You will get all philosophical and better yourself regarding knowledge of any kind. I see you working hard.
You are also standing firm on your ground. When a situation arises, you defend yourself if you know that you're right. I also see this as defending your own life path. I am not saying everybody will be against you or supporting you but if someone talks negatively to you, this won't bother you. Because you are already proud of yourself. So you defend yourself firmly.
A love interest or (mostly) a soulmate will come into your life. You will probably not see this coming but they are coming with so much love and things to offer. For the ones in a committed relationship (and don't see themselves breaking up) this may be about not losing the love and compassion to each other and maybe even taking the next step.  For example if you are in a relationship, your partner may propose to you or you can get engaged etc. 
You overall will be so happy about the life you are living, pile 4.
The area of life going through the most transformation: 8th house What energy you will be in: Pisces Your sun placement will be guiding for you in the next 5 years.
thank you for reading💕
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pettydollie · 2 months
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good girl
warnings/notes: dirty thoughts (no smut tho), reader is girly/fem, pet names (good girl and sweetheart), cursing, crybaby!reader, SUPER SLOPPY/NOT PROOFREAD!
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as you helped chris with his homework, he couldn't help but stare like he always did. you've been his tutor for about two weeks, and chris is sure he's in love. he stares at your glossy pink lips as they move, wanting so badly to suffocate you with his. what's a pretty girl like you wasting your time on someone like him anyway? not that he's complaining, he loves having you all for himself for a short amount of time everyday after school.
but he can't help wanting more.
is that weird? maybe. however, you wouldn't think so. you've had a crush on chris forever which is 3/4 of partially the reason you started tutoring in the first place. you think he's the absolute coolest and you're giddy whenever you're getting ready to see him.
"no.. but you're kinda close!" you look at one of his answers from yesterday's homework. he furrows his brows as chews on the back of your pen, forgetting that it's not his. you watch his lips wrap around the top of the pen, feeling mesmerized.
"yn? you okay?" you look up at the boy, still in a daze. you see him swallow, his adam's apple bobbing. you lick your lip swiftly before coming back down to earth. "yeah, sorry, just a little tired i guess." you smile. he holds back a smirk. he may be stupid in school, but he's extremely intelligent when it comes to you.
however, he just nods. "we can take a break." he shrugs, getting bored of this subject anyways. he’d much rather learn about you. you agree, putting your mechanical pencil down. he leans back in his chair, stretching out his muscles. he wasn’t even trying to show off, but you just happen to suck in a breath, mentally taking a screenshot of him.
“d’ya want some water or something? you hungry?” he asks politely. you stand up out of your chair. “it’s okay, i can get some.” your hand lightly brushes his shoulder as you walk out of his bedroom.
you head downstairs to the kitchen where you pour yourself a glass of water. matt’s sitting at the counter on his laptop, doing homework as well, you assume. after a few seconds, you hear, “he’s too pussy to ask you out himself,” matt starts out of nowhere. you turn around confused, full glass in hand.
you’re about to mutter a confused “huh?” but he keeps going, not looking at you, opting to stare at his screen. “so unfortunately you’ll have to be the brave one and make the first move.” he scrolls on his laptop nonchalantly, like he hasn’t told you the most fabulous news.
granted, you’re still confused. you know he’s talking about chris, that’s obvious, you aren’t dumb. but why wouldn’t he ask you out? is he afraid? that’s kinda cute, you think. “why doesn’t he wanna ask me out himself?” are you're a nervous wreck. you’ve never ever been the one to initiate any sort of romantic event in your life!
a recognizable voice is heard from behind you. “who?”
you shriek, dropping the glass of water. the glass shatters and chris is quick to grab your shoulders and pull you back before any shards hurt you. your hand quickly flies to your mouth. “i’m so sor-“
matt gets up from where he was sitting. “i’ll get the broom.” he exits the room which leaves you and chris for just a minute or so before matt returns. the water is spreading on the floor so chris grabs paper towels.
he kneels on the floor, soaking up the water as you stand frozen. tears begin to form in your eyes as a lump grows in your throat. you try to blink past them as best as you can before anyone sees you. they’ll think you’re childish, crying over a spilled glass.
what if chris doesn’t want you anymore? how dare you come into HIS house and break something so fragile. you’re ashamed of yourself. but what if he doesn't actually like you? what if matt's lying as a joke? you choke on a sob, causing a strange noise to come out. chris perks up, looking up at you. he leaves the paper towels on the floor as his face changes quickly, feeling concerned
he gets up. “oh sweetheart.” he coos, wrapping his arms around you. you’re engulfed in his large figure as you let the tears spill into the pink t-shirt that he put on just for you, not that you knew that.
matt re-enters the kitchen, raising a brow at chris as he strokes your hair with a hand. he shakes his head slightly as if to say “don’t talk.” and he points his chin towards the mess that’s still on the floor. matt folds his arms and frowns, thinking chris wants him to clean it.
but chris mouths “leave it there” and matt nods, leaving the broom against the counter as he exits the room again, letting you two have a moment. you’re babbling apologies into chris’ chest and he ‘accidentally’ smells your hair.
“you smell really nice” he whispers unintentionally, not meaning to say it aloud. his face immediately tenses. oh gosh, you’re gonna think he’s such a weirdo. but you don’t.. at all. you appreciate the compliment and you think he’s trying to distract you from the little mistake, which you appreciate.
you smile softly. “thank you. i-its strawberry pound cake.” you hiccup. chris cheeses. you’re adorable. you apologize again, “i’m really sorry about the cup. and the mess..”
he shakes his head and shushes you softly. “got that for like two bucks at target, don’t worry about it.” he reassures you and pulls away from the embrace, seeing your face all red. “yer a good girl, could never be mad at you.”
he wipes a tear freshly fallen from your eye, your lashes being long and delicate. in your head, you’re freaking out, no longer worrying about the glass. you remember what matt said earlier, which brings butterflies to your stomach
you feel very shy and dopey now. you break eye contact and grab his hand. “i have feelings for you.” you admit, getting straight to the point. “like really big. gigantic. so uh.. if you want, we could go out or something..” you nervously confess, waiting for a response.
meanwhile chris is like HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT. he can’t believe this is happening?? you?? and him?? together?? on a date???? hes already thinking of places he could take you to.
he hums and you look up at him. his thumb brushes your face again, but this time it’s against your cheek. “do you like Italian food?”
a/n: literally what is this i’m so sorry. i decided on a plot halfway thru writing it was supposed to be a suggestive thing but i didn’t wanna lead u guys on bc i don’t write smut lmao.
tags: @latinasforchrizz @leah-loves-lilies
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nunalastor · 27 days
Note
On the subject of people from Alastor's past showing up at the hotel, may I propose we shove the sheep girl in there, right alongside Mr. (not so) Clueless Detective?
(For those who don't know, the sheep girl is a nameless character from a dubiously canon prequel comic that shows Alastor going about his day in Hell.)
One day there's a knock on the hotel door and Charlie excitedly greets the sinner who's come to the hotel of her own volition; a petite, sheep-like woman in a purple sweater with a shy smile on her face. Charlie is thrilled to welcome her to the hotel. But the second that Alastor shows his face in the lobby, the sheep woman breezes right past the princess. Everyone is stunned as this timid-looking woman goes right up to the cruel, bloodthirsty, sadistic Overlord and begins to babble out a very clumsily worded 'thank you' to Alastor while he just stares at her blankly. She goes on for a few moments, tripping over her words, stopping and starting over, face getting redder with every passing moment until Alastor cuts her off.
Alastor: Apologies, my dear, but have we met before?
One could hear a pin drop in the hotel. The poor girl's face is completely red and after a moment she croaks out a only slightly less frantic apology because, haha, of course he doesn't remember her, why would he? After all, they barely said a thing to one another, and that was nearly ten years ago now...
Vaggie cuts in and asks to know what the hell she's talking about. The commotion has drawn some attention and more than a few questioning stares, so Charlie gets the sheep demon a glass of water and they all relocate to the parlor so the sheep girl can explain. Angel, Cherri, Husk, Niffty, and Lucifer join in, all curious about what this woman's about to say for various reasons.
She tells the story, nervous at first but gaining more confidence as she speaks. How she ran into Alastor when she'd only been newly dead and hadn't known who he was at the time. How he'd held open the door to a butcher shop for her and she found herself thinking that it was a relief that there seemed to be some decent people in Hell.
How the moment the butcher laid eyes on her, he'd flashed this eerie grin that made her skin crawl.
How the butcher had grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and tried to drag her over the counter.
How, before the butcher could eat her or rape her, Alastor had swept back inside, body twisted into a grotesque form, tangible darkness rolling off of him in waves, and he slaughtered the butcher where he stood while she was reduced to a teary-eyed wreck curled on the floor.
She'd been too scared to say anything at the time, thinking if he saw her then he'd attack her next. It was only long after the incident was over when she replayed the events in her mind that she realize that Alastor had saved her. Granted, in a more sadistic manner than she'd have liked, but nonetheless, he was her savior. And she'd never thanked him. Never even gotten his name.
It wasn't until after Vox broadcast that video of Alastor losing his fight to Adam that she knew that the man in red who'd saved her and the Radio Demon were one and the same. She'd only ever known the Radio Demon as a voice, and he'd vanished just a few years after her own arrival in hell! But the moment she learned that he was the manager of the Hazbin Hotel, she just knew she had to come and thank him in person.
And, well, here she is.
Everyone just sort of stares at Alastor before someone musters up the will to ask if it's true.
Alastor: I can't say I quite recall. I suppose it could be.
Charlie: How could you forget something like that?
Alastor: My dear, if what this young lady says is true, she and I exchanged a few words years ago. You can hardly expect me to remember every short interaction I've had in my lifetime.
Angel Dust: And I guess killing some random Joe is just Tuesday for you, eh?
Alastor: Precisely!
They chat a bit more after that, with Charlie inviting the sheep demon into the redemption program, but Lucifer remains silent. He's just staring at Alastor, unable to formulate a thought as he processes what he's just heard. Something shifts, and he hates the fact that he knows right now he's not going to be able to see Alastor the same way after this.
(comic mentioned!)
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hwasdvlly · 7 months
Text
Starlight | c.jongho
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❀ summary: he gets an answer that changes his life.
❀ pairing: jongho x fem!reader
❀ genres: romance and fluff
❀ word count: 0.9k words
❀ warnings/tags: none. established relationship, idol!jongho, non-idol!reader, very emotional yet so cute
❀ a/n: wowie! it has been sooo long since i last posted. i wanted to do create something that'll make everyone cry lol but still enjoy it
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“Hyung, I don’t think I can do this.”
A handsome gentleman in a suit with adorable bear-like features is a nervous wreck. Jongho did his best to clean himself up and tried remembering his speech all night. Hongjoong hears the anxiousness in the maknae’s voice. As a kindhearted captain, he brings Jongho into his arms. “You’ll do great. We are all proud that you found your happiness. Now, you want to make it official. The guys and I are positive that Y/N will say yes.” Hongjoong pats Jongho’s back for reassurance. 
For years, the youngest member of ATEEZ has been in love. He met you during his early idol days. He was walking down the streets of Seoul and discovered a brand-new cafe. Jongho steps in to grab beverages for his members. But his heart began to flutter when his warm brown gaze laid on a beauty dressed in a simple uniform and welcomed him. Jongho shyly greeted you with adorable blushing cheeks and purchased cups of americano. 
You never knew he had a music career. Jongho laughed it off later on when he revealed what he does for a living. To you, it felt unreal to date a celebrity because it can be complicated. Nevertheless, you loved Jongho. Indeed, there were circumstances to overcome, and Jongho tried not to have his reputation go downhill. But as the relationship got more intimate and the love grew stronger, he believed it was time to put a ring on your finger.
Plus, you are ATEEZ’s best friend and little sister. Everyone adores you, and Jongho will talk about you every minute of his life. Atinys can tell he is madly in love, but it’s precious. 
Jongho and his hyungs set out a plan for the proposal in a public area. It’s their concert stage where hundreds of Atinys, Jongho’s family, and your family will attend. Weeks before the day, Jongho gave you and your loved ones free concert tickets, but he purposely did it so you could be with him. And, of course, to have fun. You are his number-one fan, after all.
When it was close to the end of the event, the guys wore casual clothes, and Jongho wasn’t present. San speaks through his handheld microphone. “Where’s our maknae guys?” He questioned as if he had no clue. They all have confused expressions, pretending they don’t know what is happening. Mingi speaks, “He said something about wanting to look presentable.” He reasoned, which had the audience believe him. 
On cue, Jongho exists backstage in his stunning suit, appearing like a classy movie actor. Wooyoung gapes, “Why are you so dressed up?!” He asked in the most dramatic acting. The guys couldn’t resist their laughter because Wooyoung would not take things seriously. Jongho meets up with his hyungs and starts to explain with sincere words. 
“It’s because I am about to do something that’ll might change my life. As you may all know, there is someone who has a special place in my heart. I was hesitant to do this, but I realized Y/N means so much to me that I don’t see anyone else to make me feel alive and know what love is. Yes, I have Atinys, my family, and these people or whatever.” He nonchalantly waves his hands, gesturing to the members. The crowd laughs at their slightly hurt faces. 
Jongho chuckles but continues with his speech. “So, I took the time to think about what I want my future to be like. I also want to ask a significant question.” His eyes roam to the sideline of the stage, where he spots you, your family, and his family together.
He shifts his body to approach you. Jongho lends out his hand to have you go on stage. Your eyes widened at his silent offer. You skittishly move your legs to have your hand link with your boyfriend. Jongho has a sunny smile and makes you walk to the center of the stage. The members stand around the couple. They are smiling so much, and their excitement is skyrocketing. 
The man looks into his lover’s eyes to say, “Y/N, there are millions of reasons why I see you as the brightest starlight in my world. I am curious to know if you’ll answer my question.” He lets go of your hand to go down on one knee and pulls a small box out of his pocket.
With an adrenaline rush, you have your jaw dropped, and the people in the building are uproaring. Jongho sees your glassy eyes. He brings the microphone to his lips. “Will you be my wife, Y/N?” He finally asked. 
In a simple response, you nodded your head earnestly. “Yes!” You said. 
Your boyfriend felt his overwhelmed emotions washed away. He is so relieved that he did it. He gently puts the beautiful ring on your finger—an item dedicating two soulmates to live a forever happy life. A round diamond with a rose gold band. Jongho brings you into his arms as he buries his face into your neck. He tries to hide his tears, but the hyungs can see he is emotional. Not to mention, the guys have water coming out of their eyes. 
Jongho peeks over your shoulder to see the fans cheering. He even notices his family and yours are proud. His mother is crying tears of joy, his little brother is clapping for him, and his father has a merry expression. Jongho lifts his head off your shoulder to have his forehead against yours. He stares into your tearful eyes but you are smiling.
The man softly presses a kiss onto his now wife-to-be’s lips. 
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towards-toramunda · 8 months
Text
Thinking about more iconic lines from the show over the years instead of going to bed and created a list that is far too long:
- What’s my mother’s name?
- My best. Finally.
- I have so many flowers to bring to her.
- You were not born with venom in your veins. You learned it. You learned it.
- Don’t get on my ass about it! All I heard is that its pretty easy to do here thats all I took from what you said. (Bonus: its for the god of arts and crafts)
- At dawn, we plan.
- Doo doot doo doo doot doooo donuts!
- What matters more, the dream or the dreamer?
- Sleep well with your bad decisions.
- Nothing happens for a reason. It’s absolute fucking chaos.
- Patience is fine, but it can curdle into apathy.
- I’ve met the devil, thats not him.
- You never take copper. That's just kicking someone while they're down. You take silver if they're an asshole, and you take gold regardless.
- Time is one of my specialties.
- It’s entirely off-putting how disarmingly charming you are.
- How lucky I am to have had all of you. How lucky indeed.
- I smell like a crayon.
- I could tell by the bone structure and the contempt.
- I think I can punch ghosts now.
- Big moon, little moon.
- Pop, pop!
- I need chaos. I have faith in chaos.
- Molly said not to steal from happy people.
- I am going to tell you the story of how I murdered my mother and father.
- Smiley day to ya!
- I killed my family, I’ll throw you under a bridge.
- We’re on the moon bitch.
- She throws it. I shoot it. It explodes! NO STRUCTURAL DAMAGE! (FLUFFERNUTTER)
- I am all for faith, and I'm not going to pick a god. They can pick me. It'll be the first one that actually praises me and then maybe I'll fucking answer. I'll wait. They can fucking beg. And I will listen, which is more than they ever fucking did.
- I would like to RAGE!
- The worst thing that has happened to me has already happened.
- We're running; it's bad.
- You can reply to this message.
- Dagger, dagger, dagger.
- Opinions are like opera. Sure, you can listen to them, but why would you, really?
- There is no god that strides this world that I worship more than I worship your heart.
- I would like to live long enough to be someone else.
- Help, its again.
- Whoever it was, just put it back. I think they've earned it. Put it back.
- I’m fun scary.
- Sorry, babe. Gotta handle these ninjas.
- I’m the cleric? I’ve never traveled with a bunch of people I thought would die in front of me.
- He thinks I’m gonna go into the water for some fucking buttons.
- You are, at the moment, the luckiest person in Whitestone. Do you know why? Because you’re at the bottom of my list.
- You need me more than I need you.
- I protect him. He’s my boy. And I keep him safe.
- I made the earth remember him.
- Come correct or get corrected.
- Do not go far from me.
- Are you worth saving?
- How do I want to do this?
- Heaven to some, and hell to others.
- Fix him!
- Why do we tell stories?
- Do you spice?
- Listen you fucking jungle! I'm a paladin of the Wildmother. You're going to move or we're going to bust you wide open! We'll wreck this place. Don't make me fucking tell you twice!
- I am your god, long may I rein, eat of my fruits.
- Anybody can make lights. Anybody could send a message through a wire. I want to bend reality to my will.
- Would you like to talk before or after?
- What the fuck is up with that?
- To reach a hand down to somebody, they need to be beneath you! And I'm beneath nobody.
- The one eyed monster slayed my pussy.
- Time is a weird soup.
- I’m killing someone. Hold, please.
- Gold is a resource by which mortaldom climbs.
- Why are you so mean to me?
- Yours is the face I saw when murder entered my heart.
- This one time I saw a bug carrying a piece of bread that was like five times its size and he was carrying upstairs, like up and then he would turn, and then up, and then he would turn.
- I live as long as Whitestone lives.
- Vox Machina! Fuck shit up!
- I’m not disappointed, I’m just angry.
- Someone prayed for a miracle and there you were.
- We don't leave people behind. That's just the rule. You do not leave people the fuck behind.
- Call me child one more goddamned time!
- Finish it, Champion.
- I am of the Empire. But I am no friend to the Empire.
- I think it has been a long time since anyone has pointed out to you that you're a fool. Pain doesn't make people, it's love that makes people. The pain is inconsequential. It's love that saves them. And you would know that but you have none around you. You said so yourself, you surround yourself with lies and deceptions. And I wish for you, in the future, to find someone to mourn you when you are gone.
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f10werfae · 1 year
Text
Expect the Unexpected Baby
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pairing: Henry Cavill x Pregnant!Reader
Summary: Henry breaks up with Y/n, only to discover he’s left something of his behind, his baby. Does he try and reconcile? or Does he just accept the path he’s made? (requested by @depressedneedingrevenge )
Likes, Comments and reblogs are appreciated♥️ Library: @f10werfaes-cosy-collection
Disclaimer: This story is fiction and should not be taken literally, the behaviour is simply imaginative and the content may be inappropriate
Henry Masterlist, Full Masterlist Lumberjack!Henry
“Are- Are you really doing this to us Henry? I thought you said we wouldn’t give up on us?” Y/n sniffled taking off her engagement ring, watching as Henry packed the rest of his stuff from their house, he had only broken up with her a week prior. “Bab- Y/n I- you know I didn’t want this, I’ve got to work for longer, I need someone that’s willing to be there for me, give me something to come home to”
“So because I still haven’t been able to provide you with a baby, a family, i’m suddenly not worthy enough to keep you? Is that what it is?” Y/n snarked throwing her ring at him, watching as he scoffed and lugged the rest of his luggage out, throwing his house keys to the floor; leaving Y/n alone in the now lonely house. Y/n felt sobs wreck through her body as she collapsed to the ground, the sobs were so hard to a point where she felt herself gag and had to rush herself to the toilet.
Recently the couple had been on the edge of it, after being told their chances of conceiving were low due to Y/n’s hormone imbalance, their hopes and dreams of building a family together was shattered. As a result, they grew distant, both of them focusing on their careers as an actor and as a nurse.
“Shit, fucks sake” Y/n groaned pulling herself up from the bathroom floor, looking at the now broken version of herself in the mirror, “You’ll be okay Y/n, you’re stronger than this” She whispered to herself, studying the look on her face before forcing out a smile. This wasn’t the end of her happiness, Y/n L/n was a strong woman who was capable of anything if she put her mind to it; that includes being a single mother.
A few weeks after Henry had left her, Y/n fell ill to a point where her best friend Jess had to sleepover constantly just to make sure she ate properly and didn’t collapse from exhaustion. “Y/n You should really see your doctor, this surely isn’t normal, you’re a healthy young woman” Jess winced as she patted her friend’s back, watching on as she continuously vomited into the toilet bowl.
“I’m scared, come with me?” Y/n whimpered sitting back and wiping her mouth with a spare towel, her stomach had not been able to stomach anything but saltine crackers and water; she just wasn’t feeling her best at all. Usually it was Henry that accompanied her to the doctors, knowing how bad her anxiety got, but now she had no one; well Jess of course.
“Of course babes, wouldn’t let ya go there on you’ own, give me the number and i’ll book the appointment for you” Jess said taking Y/n’s phone and finding the practice’s number in her contacts, phoning them then and there to schedule an appointment for the next morning, it was an emergency after-all.
So off they went the next morning to the doctor, who out of the blue asked if she was sexually active after hearing the ongoing symptoms, was this normal? “Uh- well I was a few w-weeks ago” Y/n stuttered watching her doctor note things down and click a few things on her computer. “Miss. L/n, i’m going to need a urine sample if that’s alright?”
“What do you think is wrong with me?” Y/n whimpered holding onto Jess’ hand tightly, after giving in her sample all she had to do now was wait, and thankfully the practice wasn’t as busy today and she’d be able to get the results on the same day. “Nothing chick, you’re sweet, I know you are and it’s probably just something from a bad takeout-“
“Miss L/n, I have the results” The doctor smiled walking into the box white room, a clipboard in hand as she sat down in front of Y/n.
“You’re 2 months pregnant”
Y/n felt her world stop, was she really about to have a baby? That thought was out of the question for her, she thought she was destined for a childless life, and she’d spend everyday blaming herself despite it not being her fault at all.
“A-are you sure Dr. Brown? I thought my chances of conceiving were low? Is the baby okay? Wait- are you joking with me?”
“I said your chances were low, not impossible Miss L/n. Now we can talk through your options now, or, you can choose to go to the front desk and schedule for your first sonogram” Dr. Brown smiled already knowing Y/n’s answer, watching as Jess stood up cheering beside her gob smacked, and now pregnant, best friend Y/n.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
“Why does he look like an alien at 8 months?” Jess giggled looking at the baby L/n on the picture, it’s head looking odd with the 3d angle. “Shut up you, don’t listen blueberry you’re already so handsome” Y/n cooed looking down over her stretched stomach, seeing the imprint of a foot push against her marked skin, the stretch marks telling a story of hardships.
“i’m actually going to be the best god-mother, going to spoil the hell outta him” Jess smiled feeling the tiny babe kick at her hand, now that Christmas was in a few hours she felt it would be best to spend it with Y/n, who was unfortunately unable to spend it with family this year. “Yeah course you are, look Jess I know you hate me saying this but, have you tried calling Henry again? I know you hate his ass but, he deserves to know about blueberry right?”
For the past few weeks Henry had clouded Y/n’s mind, sure he had broken her heart, but she couldn’t help but yearn for his touch and love especially now that she was carrying the perfect mix of them both. Her baby blueberry. Anytime she tried to call him, it would cut off, meaning he had now changed numbers which would make sense. He was now working on a movie somewhere abroad, so he would need a new cell; unfortunately meaning he had now lost complete contact with her.
“Y/n L/n, you don’t need a man, you’re a strong independent mama alright?”
“I know I know, but if there’s a chance I don’t have to go through this alone, even just as a co-parent- OW FUCK” Y/n suddenly exclaimed feeling a strong pulse of strain go through her pelvis, her had going to support her stomach, protectively caring over her baby boy.
“Y/n, okay shit uhm, we gotta get you to a hospital your water has broken early sister; we got a Christmas present comin’ in hot”
“B-but is it not too early?! Blueberry isn’t due till later January” Y/n groaned feeling another contraction ripple through her body, groans leaving her body as Jess helped her get into the car, her body sweating despite the cold air. Pouting Y/n tried to calm herself down by talking to her baby, the single mother had only began nesting, buying hundreds (not exaggerating) of baby grows and bottles; even decorating the nursery with a DC theme to honour her relationship that produced her source of light.
“I don’t give a fuck honey, we just need a doctor, AND QUICK” Jess shouted out the window once they arrived at the emergency bay, immediately catching the attention of on duty nurses and doctors who skilfully transferred Y/n into a wheelchair, an oxygen mask being thrown over her head once inside the hospital to stabilise her breathing.
Y/n felt her whole world being turned upside down, nurses pushing her to God knows where, her hair now tied up by one of the doctors who just knew exactly what she needed then and there. When all of a sudden a dark haired man caught her eye as she was wheeled past A&E,
“Henry?” Y/n said drowsily through her mask, watching as the man turned his head just at the right moment to make eye contact with her, she’d know those blue eyes anywhere. “Y/n? Y/N?!” Henry shouted seeing his ex-fiancée being wheeled away in emergency, groups of nurses and doctors all fussing around her. Forgetting his hurt hip, his instincts took over and he found himself rushing after the woman he still loved, the woman he left for a job opportunity that he thought would fulfil the emptiness of not having a family.
Weeks into working abroad did he realise, Y/n was his family, he realised a bit too late. His contract was signed, he wouldn’t be able to return home for good until he finished this new series, he wasn’t able to come home; that is until now. Henry Cavill was back home, sure he was injured, but he was home back on the soil.
“J-jess, Jess that w-was Henry. I-if something happens, make- make sure he sees blueberry okay?” Y/n cried throwing her head back from the pain once she was carried onto the bed, her best friend panicking beside her realising the seriousness as she was made to sign a “next of kin” document. Her friend’s life was in danger.
“For fucks sake Y/n, you’re going to be okay ya hear me? You’ll be able to show him to Henry yourself once you get this baby out, y-you have to!” Jess sobbed, there was no way in hell she was letting her friend accept death, this wasn’t how it was supposed to end. “Excuse me miss if you’re not the father/partner, due to COVID regulations we can’t allow you in here”
The nurse said apologetically quickly ushering Jess to the door, “Are you guys serious?! She’s scared and in pain, there’s no way i’m leavin’ her here!” Jess fought trying to wrestle her way back to Y/n, “J-jess i’m scared, I don’t wanna do this alone” Y/n cried reaching for her friend, the doctors around her were buzzing with adrenaline, grabbing all sorts of equipment and liquids.
“So you’re telling me the baby’s father can be here right?” Jess exhaled, sprinting once she got the nod of approval from the nurse, relief filling her once she ran into the red-faced Henry who had clearly been running circles around the hospital after losing track of Y/n.
“Look Henry, no time for questions you need to fuckin run to room 304, Y/n is having your baby and- and she’s alone and scared-“
Not even letting her finish Henry began running for his life, not caring about his swelling pelvis, the people shouting at him to slow down; he just needed to see his Y/n and his baby. It didn’t take long for him to find the room with people constantly moving in and out purposefully, introducing himself to the nurse from earlier, she smiled gratefully handing him scrubs from the storeroom.
“Are you Henry? She’s been screaming for you even when we gave her some medication to calm her down” The nurse whispered bringing him into the room, his eyes widening seeing her laying down on the bed, her legs propped up. “H-Henry is that really you?” Her voice rasped, a tired smile on her face as she reached out for him, not wasting a second his hand intertwined with hers.
“So we’re having a baby huh?”
“Yes, our blueberry”
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
“Wow h-he’s gorgeous” Henry smiled tearing up, his finger softly running over his tiny son’s cheek, the delivery hadn’t been easy at all with even there being mentions of a possible C-section. Thankfully Y/n was able to deliver naturally with help from an epidural, and honestly she was just glad to have someone by her side.
“Yeah he’s perfect, our blueberry” Y/n smiled nuzzling her cheek against her baby, his small fingers outstretched on her breast as he fed eagerly. The both of them cooing as he heard his tiny grunts, “Poor chap, musta been starving” Henry joked meeting Y/n’s tired eyes, truthfully she had never looked so beautiful to him than at that moment.
Not just because she had just birthed their child, but because she still smiled at him the same way she did all those months ago; not an ounce of hatred to be seen. “Yeah, s’jus like his daddy I suppose” Y/n giggled, just feeling relieved her baby boy was now here safe and sound. The room falling into a comfortable silence before Y/n revealed the name, “His name is Clark, it’s not up for debate just so you know” She joked smoothing the slight hairs already showing at the top of his head.
“Y/n, i’m home now, let me do it right this time”
“We can talk about that later Henry, let’s just look at our baby, please?”
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
“ Blueberry, where are you?” Y/n giggled pretending she couldn’t see her now one year old hiding behind his daddy, who was busy building the new batman Lair they had gotten Clark for Christmas. The tiny tot giggling as if his dark curls weren’t visible from behind his daddy’s arms.
“Babe, have you seen our blueberry anywhere? Was gonna give him kisses and cuddles” Y/n playfully pouting sitting beside Henry on the floor, knowing damn well Clark was on the other side of him giggling triumphantly. “No sorry momma, haven’t seen the champ since bath time this mornin”
“Well I guess m’gonna have to give you his kisses and cuddles instead then” Y/n smirked peppering kisses to Henry’s face and lips, her arms hugging her man tightly, knowing damn well that would coax her baby Clark out of hiding. “NO MAMA” She heard him screech, rapidly tumbling out of his spot like superman and clinging to his momma, pushing Henry as hard as possible.
“Ah! There he is, my baby blue” Y/n cooed blowing raspberries into his neck, her smile widening as his laughs grew louder; Henry’s arms coating around the both of them, bringing them into his side. After Y/n had given birth, they worked hard together to co-parent alongside couple’s counselling, finally reaching the last stage by moving back in together and functioning as a healthy couple. Some turned their noses at Y/n taking him back, whilst others scoffed at Henry for being “baby trapped” But the couple knew it was no one else’s business but theirs, if they were happy and if Clark was happy, what else mattered?
“We need to tell Jess to stop buying him so many complicated toys” Henry sighed turning the screwdriver as he built another floor of the batman building, “You know this is her way of punishin’ you right?” Y/n laughed letting Clark nuzzle into her neck, a sign he was getting sleepy and running out of energy.
“I know, and i’d do this a hundred times over, just to see the lil guy destroy it into pieces happily” Henry chuckled seeing his mini me slowly fall asleep in his girlfriend’s lap, leaning over he placed a soft sensual kiss on her lips; an act he now got the privilege of repeating every single second, minute, hour and day.
“I love you Y/n, n’ I hope you know that, i’ll keep reminding you anyway”
“Ya wont need to, as long as you’re here with me, i’ll know you love me and you’ll know I love you too” She whispered against his lips, kissing the corner of them lightly. “I think we’re due for a family nap, i’m feelin like pulling a Clark and hiding in mama’s neck too”
———
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waggledoogledoggle · 3 months
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⚠️Spoilers for Hazbin ep 4⚠️
⚠️Also, this post will talk about Abuse and SA, it is briefly mentioned a few times throughout the rest of this… whole long thingy I wrote⚠️
⚠️Also, brief mention of the scene where someone tried to drug Angel⚠️
Ok, I am just genuinely baffled at the people who somehow find a way to hate on 'Loser, Baby'.
Like, if you don't like Huskerdust that's fine... but 'Loser, Baby' is not overshadowing/brushing off Angel's SA. It's not victim blaming. And it's not Husk telling Angel to just shut up and get over it.
Like I've seen it so much, and you know what? Fuck it. Welcome to my TedTalk on why it's not all of those things.
For starters: Husk doesn't know about Angel's SA
When Angel has his vulnerable outburst (Side note, props to Blake I mean, they said 'take 5' he heard 'change lives') he talks about how he feels like he has to act the way he does to keep Valentino happy because he stupidly sold his soul to him. That he wants to get drugged up because that’s his escape. That he wants to be broken because maybe, just maybe Val will let him go. He wants to be free, but he can't and he has no one to blame but himself.
"What's the worst part of this hell, I can only blame myself" is literally the pre chorus to his song (Poison), and that is what he shares with Husk.
Not once does he bring up his abuse or SA. If he did, do you think a song would have even happened? Look how Husk reacted when someone tried to drug Angel's drink! Now that Husk actually genuinely cares about him? Dead. Dead. Valentino would be dead.
We as the audience know more than the other characters. We were given the insight of Angel's true trauma.l that he deals with on the daily. You can't get upset at a character for not knowing something they would have no way of knowing unless it was shared with them.
Moving onto the song itself, it's a song of empathy.
Allow me to explain.
Husk pinpoints perfectly what Angel is feeling in this moment:
"So things look bad, and your back's against the wall Your whole existence seems fuckin' hopeless You're feelin' filthy as a dive bar bathroom stall Can't face the world sober and dopeless You've lost your way, you think your life is wrecked"
When Husk starts singing, you can tell that Angel is expecting Husk to pull the whole "But that's not true! It's not hopeless! You're life's not wrecked!" and is very surprised when Husk doesn't.
Instead, Husks says "Yeah. You're right." And this is when a lot of the haters get angry- but hold on a second.
When someone is feeling all of those things, saying things like "That's not true! You'll be ok!" aren't helpful at all. That's brushing it off. Even if it may be true, that doesn't help anyone when they're feeling like hopeless, lost, losers.
Because that's sympathy, not empathy. Sympathy is feeling for someone, and trying to make them feel better. Empathy, is not trying to make them feel any certain way- better or worse- empathy is simply feeling with someone. And that's what Husk does.
During the first chorus, Husk is clearly teasing Angel a bit while doing so, but not without good reason. It's keeping Angel from closing back up again, he's being a little bit silly with him and teasing him. I mean, did you see the silly lil walk he did crossing in front of Angel? And Angel is super confused because he's like "how tf is this supposed to make me feel better??"
That's the thing. It's not. That's sympathy's job, not empathy's. Empathy just want's you to feel felt with, it doesn't want to tell you how to feel. And adding that bit of silliness gives Angel's vulnerability a chance to breathe and it prevents Angel from closing in on himself.
The next verse, pre-chorus, and chorus is when the empathy though really kicks in.
The next verse, is the first part of empathy: Sharing about a similar experience you went through.
In this verse, now that Angel is listening not just hearing, Husk shares that he has been gruesomely damaged. Calling back to what he shared literally seconds before the song. That he knows what it's like to sign away your soul, and constantly look back at it with huge amounts of regret. That knowing that moment is what turned him into the mess he is today, and that he has no one to blame but himself. Just like Angel.
Then in the pre-chorus where there's the whole:
"I sold my soul to a psychopathic freak Haha! And you think that makes you unique? Get outta here, man!"
That isn't Husk telling Angel to get over himself and this isn’t him undermining what Angel’s been through. That's him saying 'I did too, you're not alone’
And then the very simple word change from "you're" to "we're" in the chorus is SO FREAKING HUGE. Because Husk is essentially saying "You feel like a total loser right now. Ok. Then if what happened to you/what you went through makes you a loser, then I'm a loser too. Let's be loser's together." Instead of trying to make Angel stop feeling like he's a hopeless loser, he decides that he is too.
He meets Angel where he is.
Aka: ✨empathy✨
Angel finally feels seen, understood, felt with. All the goals of empathy. He no longer feels alone in what he is struggling with, which is HUGE! Especially for people going through/dealing with SA and abuse.
The bridge of the song, is also extremely important, because this is where they acknowledge the differences in what they're going through. Their root problem is the same, but how it messed up their lives and created the problems they deal with now are completely different
And that's around when the song begins to shift from just Husk showing empathy and comforting Angel, to them both finding comfort in each other.
Which you can clearly see by the chorus under the umbrella, where it's not just one of them singing the chorus, but it's both of them. Because they have found a place to go to and confide in, a place of comfort, with each other.
Like, I am genuinely concerned that people find this song toxic like... have- have you never experienced empathy before? Are you ok?
So yeah, to wrap this up, if you don’t like ‘Loser, Baby’ just because you don’t like the song in general? That’s fine (odd, but fine)
But if you hate it because it “undermines Angel’s experience and what he goes through” I…
words.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk
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#390
“It’s you again.  Why are you over here?  Car parking is over there….  Aw don’t give me that bullshit that you are lost.  You are over here with a purpose.  Don’t look surprised.  You saw my dick at the urinal, and you want to swing on it.  You are so fucking obvious….
“What?  If you want my dick, you are going to have to do more than just stare at me in shock.  Goddamned!  Do I have to be this blunt?  Do you want my cock or not?  If you do, get the fuck over here and get on your knees, if not fuck off.
“Not moving is not an option….  There you go.  Ask me nicely for my dick….  I guess I have to lead you on everything, don’t I?  Do you want me in your mouth or in your pussy?...
“Wrong answer.  I don’t want to bust my nut in your mouth.  It’s going in your shitter.  Take off your clothes.  Yeah right here….
“You seem to have difficulty following orders.  Look I need to bust my nut, I need a bitch that knows her place.  You are a hole to be fucked; that’s it.  You need to be treated as such.  If you are worried about someone seeing you, this is the area for semi-trucks.  No one other than queerss wander back here, and if they do, they will be envious and not offended.  Those other two semis?  We all drive for the same company.  I know those drivers.  They know quite well that I used fags. 
“Strip or fuck off….  Good.  When you are done, and I have looked you over, we’ll go up in my cab.
“Just leave your shit in a pile….  On your knees.  Aren’t you the whitest boy?  If I was blind, I would still be able to tell you were white by that tiny clit you have.  That thing is useless.
“Here’s mine.  It’s twice your size and mine is still soft.  Take it in your mouth….  Damn, you are struggling to take just the head, and I’m not even hard.  This is why I want your twat. 
“Pull off.  OK.  I’m going up.  I need to get ready.  I want you to remain in that kneeling position until I call you up.  You understand? 
“You got my cock going, you are going to follow through.  I’m putting your clothes on the passenger seat.  I’ll call you….
“…Ok, pussyboy.  Come on up and get that pussy wrecked. 
“See that bottle?  That’s lube.  Take a huge squeeze and slather it on your hole.  Hand it to me.  A tiny thing like you will need extra lube….  You ready?
“Don’t worry about the curtain.  No one can see in.  I texted my buds in the other cabs that the screams of a nelly white bitch boy being impaled on my cock may come from my cab and not to worry.
“Climb up, on your back.  Legs up.  Feel my head at your hole?  My cock is larger than most.  So push out as much as you can. 
“There!  I’m going down to the root.  Yeah, you either can relax your pussy by pushing out or I will just take your hole, ramming it to the nut.  Relax your twat!  You’re almost there. 
“Cry all you want.  Let those tears fly.  Tears are just your body giving over to what you were made to be.  Scream out!  Let those other drivers know you are getting split in two.
“Your pussy was made for this.  You got all eight inches in you.  To the root!  You little bitch!  You got a real man fucking your twat now. 
“I want you to ride me.  Move over….
“Climb up on me.  Put one knee here and the other leg there.  Feel my cock head at your pussy?  Sit on it.  Go on.  Sit.  You’ve taken me to the root.  Guide that puss down.  That’s it, cry baby cry. 
“Now ride!  You pussy is starting to feel good.
“While you were kneeling outside, I text my buds that if they want a piece of you to come over after your screams have died down.
“I can hear one of them coming up….
“...Come on up.  Hey Carter.  This bitch is hungry.  Get comfortable. 
“Bitch!  No one told you to stop.  Get back to riding me.
“The lube is right there.  I am so close to shooting….  I have an idea.
“Pussy, lean forward and hug me.  There like that.
“Now Carter, slide your cock in her puss, right alongside of me.  We’ll double team her.  Tear it up good.
“Oh yeah.  Like that.  Fuck!  Let’s go for it.
“Scream baby.  Of course it hurts!  I want it to hurt.  Think of this as you losing your virginity again.
“…What?  This is your first time up the butt?  Fuck yeah.  Think how lucky you are to have me as your first, and to have two men in you at once.  Hug me harder.  I’m about ready to breed you. 
“Get ready.  Get ready!  Uh uh uh.  Fuck.  Uh Fuuuuuuck.  Damn that was good.
“Don’t stop Carter.  Breed this bitch too….  You are a ways off?  Well, shit, I need some sleep.  Why don’t you take this bitch back to your cab.  See if Isaac wants to join you.  She’ll go back with you.  I have her clothes.  When you guys are done with her, I may give her another load, or just give her clothes back.
“I really don’t care.  I need sleep.  Just take her.”
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