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#lso really close at this point)
sigloverofwords · 2 years
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Callsign: KINGPIECE//Chapter One
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I watched Top Gun: Maverick at the height of my Marvel hyperfixation and I'm about to make it everyone's problem
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There are few things as peaceful as light snowfall deep in the Siberian forest. Even the birds were nestled away, leaving nothing to break the perfect quiet.
Except you.
Your Stark-Saab White Hawk screamed through the sky just above the treeline, blasting snow and trees back like water.
Strapped securely into your seat, you grinned against your oxygen mask. Pushing forward, you poured on the speed, your afterburners roaring behind you. The whole aircraft shook as you pushed for the next Mach marker. In your ear, above the rattling of the airplane and jarring of your teeth, your radio crackled.
“Kingpiece, this is Command, come in.”
You blew past a lake, sending a spray of icy water dozens of feet into the air behind you.
“Command, this is King,” you replied.
“We have the data we need, return to base.”
“Copy, returning to base.”
Easing up on the stick, you reined in the speed of your jet and climbed into the sky as you brought it into a lazy turn. You weren’t in a rush to get back to base, so you maintained a respectable supersonic speed on your return trip. In your F-39 helmet, you could see video feeds from underneath and behind the plane, covering all your blindspots. If you let yourself believe, for a few seconds, it was like you were flying alone, with no aircraft or command crew or base to return to. Just you and the open sky and absolute, total freedom. A couple of minutes later a much less official voice came through your headset.
“You really gonna make me wait, girlie?”
You gasped in excitement.
“Flyboy! Or, should I say, Captain America. That you?”
A warm chuckle sounded in your ear.
“Sure is, and I got someone here who wants to meet you.”
Another voice murmured in the background, with your friend turning away from the mic to tell them off before returning.
“Now, you gonna drag your ass or you gonna put that super jet to work?”
You laughed, eyes sparkling as you glanced over the HUD in your helmet before priming the afterburners.
“Just you wait and see,” you replied, flipping a few switches and feeling the rumble of the airplane pitch up beneath you. In a matter of minutes, the snowy forest fell away, sheer cliffs disappearing beneath you as you raced out over open water. Massive ice caps floated by on choppy ocean waves. Checking your navigation readings, you adjusted course slightly. Despite seeing nothing but the deadly Arctic Ocean around you, you lowered the landing gear and began to slow, dropping close enough to the water to scare a seal off its floating ice pad. A tap of a button opened your comm line to your Landing Signal Officer.
“Kingpiece one and only, White Hawk, Ball on instruments, state three point five,” you rattled off, informing the LSO that you were coming in for a landing. 
“Roger, ball,” the LSO responded, “Deck is steady.”
You fell silent as your focus sharpened.
Trying to land on the sixth-gen aircraft carrier you called home made your stomach drop every time, without fail. You had to rely on your instruments, with nothing but an icy ocean ahead of you as you prepared to land. You had only a split second to roll into the groove on your approach, but you managed it every time, even if it still made you want to throw up.
One second you were flying across a lonely vista of nothing, and the next your view shimmered and a massive aircraft carrier appeared before you. Quickly lining up the optical landing system, keeping the amber-colored ball light lined up with the green datum lights, you adjusted your angle of attack, rolling into the groove with practiced perfection. Although you had slowed down, you were still going around 150 miles per hour, and every single movement was imperative at this speed. The amber light guiding you in began to shine red, so you increased your jet’s power a little, bringing yourself up just enough to skate past the first arresting wire. Your tailhook caught the second wire, which snapped and shook behind you as you were jerked around in your seat. The straps dug hard into your shoulders, your body protesting the change from over 13 feet a second to a full stop in under three seconds.
You unsnapped your oxygen mask, already unbuckling yourself as your canopy raised. By the time you jumped from the cockpit, legs a little shaky as they adjusted to being used again, you had your helmet off and tucked under your arm as you scanned the busy deck for your friend.
The loudspeakers around the deck crackled to life.
“The hell was that, Kingpiece?” a furious voice blasted over you. “Second wire?”
You grinned and shook your head, breaking into a jog across the flight deck towards the Ready Room, where you figured Sam would be waiting. Sure enough, you stepped into the spartan Ready Room and there he was, smiling so hard you couldn’t help but return it.
“Hey sailor,” he said with a nod. “Tough landing?”
“Birdbrain,” you replied cheekily, tilting your head in greeting to the man hidden partially behind Sam before turning to the other side of the room.
As there were no other scheduled landings for a while, your LSO was there, bouncing his leg from the desk where he was perched, little brown notebook in hand.
“Paddles, how’d I do?” you asked, the nickname imbued with more deference and respect than one might expect. He simply sighed, standing and flipping open his notebook. Every page was covered in a series of scrawled letters almost unintelligible to anyone other than him.
“You were acceptable, Kingpiece,” he said after a moment. “Came in a little low, pulled up but you were too fast and you hit the number two wire.”
You nodded, filing this information away. It was a perfectly good landing for anyone else, but you weren’t good.
You were the best .
“King, too fast?” Sam asked, striding over and slinging an arm around your shoulders. “This girl? No way.”
Laughing, you pushed him off of you.
“Shut up, Wilson, I’m debriefing.”
Your LSO just shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“You’re dismissed.”
“ Yes !” you exclaimed under your breath, turning to give Sam a high five as Paddles made his escape. 
“Did you see my Hawk?” you asked as soon as the door shut, excitement all over your face. Sam let out an appreciative whistle.
“Did I? That thing is heavenly beauty bottled in an aircraft. How long have you been testing it?”
“Just two weeks, I swear, I’m in love.”
A low cough broke through your nerd-out haze and you suddenly remembered there was someone else in the room with you. Quickly, you straightened and turned to greet Sam’s friend properly.
“Lieutenant Anthea Evans,” you said, holding out a hand and sweeping your gaze up and down the man before you. Right away, you could tell he was ex-military. His stance, the way he kept his back to the wall, and the controlled power in his grip as he shook your hand told you he had combat experience. His non-regulation hair and stubble told you he was not currently enlisted.
“Seargent James Barnes,” he replied automatically, then corrected himself. “Or, just Bucky.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Bucky,” you said. He seemed nervous, angling his body so his left side was away from you, shoulders tense beneath a loose leather jacket.
“What brings you around these parts?” you asked both men, stepping back to lean on the currently-unoccupied desk. “I’m not exactly in the neighborhood.”
“Not quite,” Sam chuckled. “We wanted to come see you.”
You raised an eyebrow.
“Sam,” you said. “We’re currently standing on a top-secret extra-governmental aircraft carrier running test flights of a cutting edge jet over territory that is not our own. None of us should even be here, so despite my stunning personality, I don’t think you’re risking ex-communication from the US government and possible capture and execution by a hostile world power just to drop in for a visit.”
Bucky cut in.
“Have you been watching the news?”
“Honestly?” you replied. “Not really. I spend most of my time with my bird or my crew. Shore leave isn’t really a thing for us, so I prefer to focus on what I can control over fretting about whatever the Five-Sided Puzzle Palace is doing.”
Bucky shot a confused look at Sam.
“The Pentagon,” Sam explained, before continuing. “Well, there’s been some pretty serious stuff going on.”
“When isn’t there?” you joked.
“Anthea, listen. This is serious.”
You sobered at Sam’s tone. Of course, you knew it was. Why else would Sam just show up on your super secure base out of the blue? 
“I’m listening,” you said, crossing your arms across your chest. 
Sam paced across the room for a moment before speaking again.
“Six months ago, half the world population came back.”
“I know,” you gave him a wry smile. “I was one of the people holding everything down until y’all came back.”
He shot you a longsuffering glare, but there wasn’t any heat behind it.
“ Obviously ,” he continued pointedly, “there’s been a spike in international incidents since then. Crime is through the roof, there are hundreds of thousands of displaced people—”
“Sam,” you cut him off gently. “I know this. Get to the point.”
Straightening, he stood before you, almost nervous despite his confident stance.
“I’m putting together a team,” he said. “The Avengers don’t exist anymore, but that doesn’t mean the reason they assembled is gone. Even with S.W.O.R.D. and S.H.I.E.L.D. operating again, the threats against regular people keep growing. We can protect people from the interdimensional alien baddies, but that means jack to the regular guy on the ground if he’s getting extorted for protection money by gangs of enhanced individuals.”
You tilted your head, eyebrows drawing together a little.
“Not that I don’t agree, Sam,” you said. “But why are you telling me this? You know my deal.”
A twinkle entered Sam’s eye.
“You know, being Captain America doesn’t just come with a fancy suit and shield.”
Your jaw dropped.
“You’re kidding.”
Sam grinned widely.
“I’m not.”
Jumping to your feet, you grabbed Sam’s shoulders.
“You’re kidding.”
He laughed at your energetic antics.
“I’m not. We need a pilot, and you know you’re the best. Job’s yours if you want it, you just have to stay out of trouble.”
You let out a decidedly un-military squeal, smiling so wide your cheeks hurt.
“Sam!”
Words failing you, you threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly. He returned the embrace, chuckling.
“I thought you might like to get off this boat and start flying some real missions again,” he said once you had calmed down to a containable level of enthusiasm.
“Would I ever,” you gushed. “Don’t get me wrong, I love my White Hawk, and I’m going to miss it like crazy, but there’s only so many mach flight tests a pilot can do before you start feeling like it’s Groundhog Day all over again.”
“The good news just keeps coming, then,” Sam declared. “Because part of your transfer orders is to return the White Hawk to Stark Industries for further testing and experimentation.”
“Hand her over to another pilot?” you asked, almost offended at the idea of another pair of hands on the controls of the fastest, most agile aircraft you’d ever had the pleasure of flying.
Sam smiled.
“I didn’t say that.”
It took a moment for the news to sink in, but a moment later you were whooping and dancing around the tiny Ready Room, pulling Sam into a spin before you let go and bump into his silent companion, Bucky.
Bucky flinched back at your touch, but his scowl down at you slid right off your back.
“You hear that sergeant?” you ask him. “I get to leave AND I’m takin’ the White Hawk with me!”
You let out another cheer, ignoring Bucky’s lack of response and narrowed eyes directed towards Sam.
After letting you celebrate for another minute, Sam caught your arm, laughing.
“Alright there, squid, bring it down.”
You settle down pretty easily, just happy to have a reason to be happy.
“You won’t believe how glad I am to get off these four acres of sovereign US soil,” you said. “Been cooped up here far too long.”
“Maybe it finally taught you something about responsibility,” Sam sighed lightly, but his tone told you he wasn’t holding out much hope. You just scoffed in reply.
“When are we shipping out?”
“As soon as you can get your bags. You’re the reason we’re here, we got you, so we can get going on your ready.”
You were already heading for the door.
“See you in five, boys,” you declare, throwing them a wink and a smile. “You better let me fly us out of here.”
“Wouldn’t dream of doing otherwise,” Sam replied, and you shut the door behind you, leaving them in the sparsely furnished, grey room.
“So,” Sam said, turning to Bucky, who had a rigid spine and unreadable mask firmly fixed on his face. “What d'ya think?”
Bucky slowly raised an eyebrow.
“It’s like being trapped in a room with an overexcited puppy,” he grumbled. “How old’s this kid?”
“Old enough to know what the hell she’s doing,” Sam answered, respect and admiration tinging his words. “She trained under the greatest pilot of the last hundred years. He taught her everything he knew, then she added some tricks of her own.”
Sensitive conversation over, the pair exited the ready room and began walking back towards the deck. 
“Why do they call her King?” Bucky asked, hair ruffling in the icy wind as they stepped away from the shelter of the hall and onto the tarmac.
“That’s her callsign, Kingpiece.”
At Bucky’s confused glance, Sam elaborated.
“You know how in chess you have a king?”
“Yeah, but you also have a queen. Wouldn’t that make more sense?”
“What happens if you lose the queen?”
“You’re down a huge advantage, she’s the most tactically agile piece on the board.”
“And what happens if you lose the king?”
Bucky hesitated.
“You can’t. If you lose the king then the game’s over.”
Sam shielded his eyes from the weak northern sun as he spotted you striding across the tarmac towards them, two duffle bags slung across your chest and a third in hand.
“If you lose the king the game is over,” he repeated. “But as long as you have the king piece the game is still in play. Until it falls, neither loss nor victory is certain, but you know you have a chance.”
Notes & Fun facts: King's White Hawk is based off of a cutting-edge jet prototype, the Boeing-Saab T-7 Red Hawk
"Kingpiece one and only, White Hawk, Ball on instruments, state three point five" I took some license with this. Still, basically, it's a "ball call" that translates to Kingpiece (pilot callsign) flying alone in a White Hawk (airplane identifier) can see the Ball (which is used to guide pilots into landing on the carrier) with 3,500 pounds of fuel. Obviously, King couldn't see the ball at this time due to the cloaking tech on the carrier, so I added "on instruments". A ball call is the pilot's radio call to the Landing Signal Officer (LSO)
The voice King hears on the loudspeaker yelling at her for catching the second wire (as opposed to the ideal third wire) is the air boss, the commander in charge of the flight deck and flight patterns on air carriers.
Paddles is the common nickname for Landing Security Officers, who are known for their little notebooks filled with acronyms from which they grade every landing on the carrier.
I hope you enjoyed this silly little thing! I have some ideas of where I want it to go, and I enjoy researching lingo/slang/reading LSO handbooks at 5am because I can't sleep and this is where my life has led me.
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fredkanken · 6 months
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On-the-Go Glamour
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maynardcelik · 2 years
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everyothermouse · 3 years
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Ships :)
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ragingpancake · 3 years
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Performance Fleece (Ooh It's Fine)
AN: In which John is sick and a thief and Rodney doesn't actually mind. There’s not a lot that escapes Rodney’s notice. Okay, scratch that. There is often a lot that escapes Rodney’s notice, mostly just because he’s too busy saving their asses and generally just being brilliant, but. When it comes to John Sheppard, Rodney’s pretty sure he’s even got the man’s bathroom schedule memorized. It’s not weird, okay? They’re teammates! Buddies! Compadres! Plus, you know, there’s the little matter of the massive crush that Rodney’s been harboring since, oh, probably the moment that Sheppard plopped his un-initiated ass down in the control chair back on Earth and showed Rodney where they were in the solar system. Anyway. Off topic. They’ve gathered in the meeting room for their latest mission debriefing, the one that John had requested to postpone, after returning from M4-X465, or, the planet that never stops fucking raining. So anyway, they’ve gathered, all of them except John and frankly, Rodney finds it a little unfair that they have to sit through re-hashing everything from the latest mission, down to the time he whipped it out and peed on a tree, when Sheppard gets to skip out. And then (and this is where Rodney’s attentiveness to Sheppard’s usual habits come in handy), he realizes that John has never actually skipped debriefing, no matter how many times he’s threatened. “Where’s Sheppard?” He asks and he mentally gives himself a high five for how disinterested he sounds. “He’s not feeling well,” Elizabeth answers like that shouldn’t be concerning in some way, shape or form, because Sheppard doesn’t do sick and even when he does, it doesn’t keep him from handling his duties while suffering in manly silence.
“So he’s just not going to show up?” Elizabeth lowers the tablet and glances at Rodney with a raised eyebrow. “It was my call,” she says. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d really like to get started.” Rodney tunes her out after that. -- He spends the next forty five minutes catastrophizing the situation. He analyzes it, tries to figure out exactly what had been meant by “not feeling well”. Was this turning into a bug not feeling well? Harboring an alien consciousness again not feeling well? So many horrors, so little time. When that doesn’t work, he switches to hacking into the camera system and pulling up the one specifically in John’s quarters but that doesn’t get him anywhere either because at least that very moment, John is nowhere to be found. Huh. Elizabeth finally finishes up and while Ronon is usually the first one to the door, this time, Rodney beats him by a solid five seconds, shouting over his shoulder about some made up situation in the lab. Totally, completely disinterested. He also completely misses the look shared by the others in his haste. -- To his credit, he does actually go in the direction of the labs, but only because that’s the quickest way to John’s quarters. He also manages not to just barge into John’s room (thanks to the almost disastrous towel incident, but Rodney is resolutely not thinking about that in this moment, no sir, no way). Instead, he stops outside of the door and bangs on it, a little more insistently than usual. It takes a second longer than he would like and so, fearing that perhaps John had maybe slipped and fallen, perhaps brained himself on that stupid old guitar, he palms the door open and--. What the hell is that? For a second, he doesn’t even recognize it, because how long has it been since he’s last seen it? He blinks, checks to make sure he’s actually in the right room and then allows his gaze to resettle on that that god awful orange fleece, the one he’d sworn that he’d burn once he was off of that frozen rock. The one that is currently wrapped around a very miserable looking Lieutenant Colonel, who glances up at him with a look that almost dares Rodney to say something. “… id was cold.” “You’re a thief,” Rodney says in response and he steps further in the room, letting the door slide closed behind him. “Where did you even find that thing?” “I wend down to the lab for sob of dat tea you hoard from the maidlad a’d found it id your bottom drawer.” Huh. So that’s where he’d put it. “Well,” Rodney says charitably, “whatever helps, I guess.” “Thags, Rodney,” John says and when he sneezes, it’s the second most god awful thing Rodney’s ever heard, second only to John’s braying donkey laugh, and by ‘god awful’, clearly he means, you know, acceptable because it’s John fucking Sheppard and well… anyway. “I suppose I should leave you to it,” he says finally and he gestures a little dumbly to the door. “You know, leave you to your bed of germs and, and, and--.” “You dond have to go if you dond want to,” John says and Rodney really, reallyshould not stay because first of all, as he’d mentioned, germs and secondly… Well, Rodney’s a hard time finding a second point, mostly because he wantsto stay. “I suppose I could, for a bit,” Rodney says airily, “if only to make sure you don’t slip out of bed and die. Or at least to ensure that my fleece finds its way back to where it belongs when you’re done. Completelywashed and disinfected, of course. “Ob course,” John agrees, like maybe he’s just humoring Rodney at this point. “…I’m never getting that fleece back again, am I?” “Nod a chance, buddy.” Well, truthfully, Rodney supposes he doesn’t mind. After all, there are two positives here: a.) to be completely fair, the fleece looks better on Sheppard anyway and it’ll save him the trouble carrying out his self-made promise to burn it. And b.)… well, Rodney’s never seen Sheppard wear anyone else’s clothes. It gives him something to think on, at least. Perhaps… Well, perhaps this one sided crush is not quite so one sided
after all… Huh. Who woulda thought?
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twstlotus · 4 years
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Hi there! 👋 Nice to see our fandom growing, more writers joining and trying their pens out with twst boy~ I'm here to wish you a nice day and leave a request, if I may. How would Epel, Malleus, Trey and Rook react to their s/o being well versed in a sword fighting? Seeing her(or them, I don't mind) in an act, maybe even protecting the boys? The s/o haven't disclosed it to them before and took a stance only because she had no other choice. Thank you very much💓
Before we begin, I apologize if I had written Epel a bit ‘off’, for lack of a better word. I have not played through Pomefiore’s chapter thoroughly let alone get to the important bits of said chapter (I’m only on 5-9..)
If I did mischaracterize Epel, please inform me! I will try to perfect how I write him as soon as possible.
Now, onto the headcanons.
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Epel Felmier
Epel is astounded to see you swordfight. Perhaps his amazement is a bit inappropriate considering the context being that you were fighting off a few Savanaclaw boys for teasing and mocking Epel about the rumors that he wanted to join the Savanaclaw dormitory—but they did it right in front of your face. Saying how “a pretty boy soft as he is could never join Savanaclaw!” and continued.
You didn’t find violence necessary in the situation, but you weren’t opposed against it either. So when the Savanaclaw members began taunting both you and Epel, you quickly drew your sword and began fighting them, all while Epel walked in at the perfect moment and hid behind a wall and watched you.
The beastmen tucked their tails between their legs and ran off soon after you had your sword pointed to them on the ground. Once they were gone, Epel quietly walked out of his hiding spot and asked if you were okay, to which you hesitantly replied with a “yes”.
Quickly after, Epel began to somewhat gush about your sword fighting abilities and how great you were. Yet, he’s also curious about why you never told him about your skill in such. You explain to him that you never thought of a reason to why you should inform anyone of it, but you were also a bit afraid that he might find your talent in it ‘weird’.
He shoots your suspicions as completely incorrect. You were amazing out there! Epel has never seen sword fighting up-close and done so well! It makes him stagger through his words. He also states that you don’t need to hide anything from him and that he’ll accept you whole as a person and as a lover. The reason why he even fell in love with you was because of how free-willed you are, you know?
“Well, I think your sword fighting is great, (Y/N). I don’t think it matters what other people see you as, especially the negative ones—you’re great and that’s all there is to it!”
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Malleus Draconia
Malleus first saw you sword fighting a handful of the Savanaclaw boys, or, well—it looked more like you were deflecting and inflicting minor wounds on the beastmen until they eventually ran off out of cowardice.
The fae was completely stunned. He had never known you were so skilled in sword fighting, and you fight with such gracefulness and elegance, too! The only other time he had seen sword fighting up close was when he and Lilia trained Silver as Malleus’ knight. Even so, his fighting style was merely that of a normal knight’s—but you, you looked like you were dancing with the sword.
When he snaps out of his amazement, he quickly comes out of the shadows to your aid and checks if you have any wounds. Humans are very fragile, after all. You reassure him that you’re fine and he eventually brings up your talent in swordsmanship, to which you bashfully deny ever being skilled in such a thing.
Malleus can obviously see through your lies, and after a while, you admit that you do. You kept it a secret because you were afraid that he might see you as improper or ‘strange’ and the only reason you even fought those Savanaclaw boys were because they were ridiculing your beloved fae.
He’s visibly surprised by the notion. Fighting...for him? Of course, he has literal knights who fight for him, but he always considered it as the two merely doing their jobs. You, on the other hand; you didn’t need to do such a thing for him, yet still, you did it anyway. He’s touched, to say the least. Afterwards, he comforts you regarding your talent and says to not be shameful of it, for it is a talent one could only look up to and that he’s always welcome to talk about anything.
“You’re not required to put yourself in dangerous situations, Child of Man. Trust that I can fight my own battles, so please, do not burden yourself with mine. Though I must say...you did well.”
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Trey Clover
‘Surprised’ would be a bit of an understatement to describe what Trey felt when he saw you sword fighting with a fellow Heartslabyul member. Just a little bit.
The way you made your sword swings seem effortless renders him speechless. Just when did you learn to swordfight? And how will Riddle react when he sees you, battling a Heartslabyul member, with a sword!? The consequences may be severe… (and even so, when did Heartslabyul C-kun learn to swordfight!?)
Trey quickly steps in and stops the duel between you and the other dorm member. Heartslabyul C-kun leaves with a scoff while small wounds decorate his otherwise clean skin. Meanwhile, you seemed completely fine. There were only a few cuts from C-kun’s sword but it wasn’t at all serious. Still, Trey treats your wounds so they don’t get infected.
The entire time, Trey is almost quiet as he tends to your wounds until he releases a sigh of defeat, for lack of a better word. He tells you that fighting by yourself isn’t safe, you know? That would just end up in both you and him getting your heads chopped off by Riddle (thank goodness he brought you out of the scene of the crime).
You explain to him that the only reason you had done it was because C-kun recently found out about your talent in sword fighting and wouldn’t stop bugging you until you agreed to duel with him, knowing it was against the rules, so you denied his every demand. However, he brought Trey into the story by mocking him and that was the last straw.
Quite honestly, Trey doesn’t know how to feel about it. On one hand, he’s afraid and a bit worried for you and what could have happened. And on the other...he’s grateful and rather enamoured about the fact that you tried to defend him. Still, he shows appreciation for what you did in his name but reminds you to be careful next time.
“Don’t run off fighting other people, okay? I really appreciate what you did for me but I don’t want you getting hurt. Plus, I can’t have my favorite cupcake get in trouble with Riddle!”
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Rook Hunt
Saw you sword fighting another Pomefiore member, but it didn’t look intense if at all. From afar, it did look like you and Pomefiore B-kun were simply practice-duelling—and from afar, it stayed as such. Rook continued to watch you from the bushes with a keen eye and a smile tugging on his face.
However, B-kun just had to do it. During your duel, he began taunting you about Rook, your Hunter of Love. It started small; calling him a weirdo and other nicknames Rook had likely grown accustomed to. But B-kun just went on and on, his small taunts grew to harsh insults, and you weren’t having any of it.
You swiftly defeat B-kun in the duel. His sword flying out of his hands and landing on soft grass, piercing the surface. You quickly tell him to scram and he leaves without a word, not even to retrieve his sword.
You let out a sigh before turning to the bushes, where you know Rook is. You call out his name and after a few rustles from the bushes, he walks out with a large smile on his face and claps for your performance, stating that it was marvelous! ....However, this does spark curiosity in him—curiosity on why you never informed him of your talent in the art of sword fighting.
You say that you never found the reason to tell him of it, though you weren’t exactly ashamed, it was just what it was also because you knew Rook wouldn’t stop pestering you about it once he found out that you were skilled in sword fighting.
Non, non! This is wonderful news to him! He’s happy to know that you’re confident in something you’re skilled in and he would be all the more glad if you wanted to speak to him about sword fighting, should you ever wish to do so.
“Your swordsmanship is fantastique, mon cherie! Though, I must ask…,” The self-proclaimed hunter steps towards C-kun’s sword and picks it up. “May I request a few sword fighting lessons from you?”
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rotationalsymmetry · 3 years
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Thinking about the twitter "villain of the week" phenomenon and call outs that turn into dogpiles. Imagine you're with your family or some other large group for a holiday dinner. Everyone's eaten and you're back in the kitchen washing dishes, with someone else drying. Suddenly, the person drying the dishes notices you missed a spot on one of the plates. Now, people who aren't assholes (and even quite a lot of assholes for that matter) will just be "oh, you missed a spot" and hand it back to you to clean up. Because missing a spot when you're washing dishes is normal and no big deal. So you say "oops" or something and fix it and all's good. But maybe it doesn't go like that. Maybe they go "tsk, (your name) is being so irresponsible, they can't even do something as simple as washing a plate" and then suddenly your entire family show up with a list of everything you've ever done wrong since age 5. That would be utter bullshit, right? That would be emphatically not accountability, right? That would be your family deciding to make your life miserable just so they could feel superior or whatever, right? (That would be abuse, or at least something very close to abuse, since y'know it's important to name things what they are.) (I mean...a lot of people do the "let's talk about 20 different things you've done wrong at one go" thing without it being abuse per se...but it sure as fuck isn't functional.) (And no, the degree of the offense doesn't really affect things. If you, say, abandoned your terminally ill spouse to run off with the affair partner you'd been cheating on them with for the entirety of your marriage, that would be really bad, and it still wouldn't make sense for your family to all get together to tell you what a terrible person you are while bringing up things you did ages ago and so on. The focus should always be on making it better, not on painting the offender as a shitty person. No matter how big the offense. Figuring out who's going to take care of the ill spouse, not determining the exact level of assholery of the abandoning spouse and whether everyone should have known from one thing they said 15 years ago, right? There can be consequences, like not inviting especially nasty people to future events, without engagement.)
So, at one point I joined this one group on Facebook, when I was relatively new to social media. I mean, I'd been on FB for ages, but I'd just been following what my friends posted, I hadn't joined any groups specifically to engage with people that I didn't already know over shared interests. (A very different FB experience.) This group was nominally about being bisexual, but an awful lot of the posts (several a week) involved someone innocuously equating genitals to gender, or some other language thing that ignores the existence of trans people. (This was before I ID'd as nonbinary, but on a personal level that sort of thing still doesn't bug me. I recognize it bugs other people, and it is reasonable for people who do care about this to want other people to alter the language they use.) I'm not talking blatantly hostile stuff like calling trans women men. I'm talking the things that people who grew up being told there's boys and girls and you can tell which is which by looking at them, just do because they haven't yet adjusted their worldview yet. Intent isn't the same as impact, but there is a difference between an innocent mistake and outright hostility. And there'd be literally dozens of people making the exact same callout. And because there were so many responses, everybody in the group would see the post, because that's how FB's algorithm works. And then this would happen again the next day and a couple days after that. And I (being new to this sort of thing) was just like, wtf? Wouldn't it make more sense to set things up so that the mods have to approve posts so they can quietly shut those down and privately tell the posters what rewrites they have to make? Or at least shut down those posts as soon as a mod catches them, or make one callout and shut down replies so it doesn't turn into this snowball that you can't miss? If the problem is this is hurtful to trans people, why intensify that hurt by making sure every trans person in the group ends up seeing the post?
I eventually left.
I imagine people had good intentions, or at least thought they did. That "educating people" this way was the important thing. But thing is, mostly it teaches people that that behavior is OK, that behavior that recall I've already explicitly described as verbal abuse or at least as something very close to verbal abuse, and that's a terrible lesson. This is not how decent human beings interact with other human beings. In similar groups I've also seen one person make a brief call out and the called out person say "oh, I didn't realize, I'll (edit the post, or whatever)" and that's it, and that's entirely different, you know? A single low-key call out, not the entire group piling on. Which is why I don't really like the term "call out culture", because sometimes people have cultures around making call-outs that are actually healthy and reasonable and not abusive, that are much healthier than the cultural default of "if you bring it up, you're the one making trouble," and it really should be normalized for people to do small low-key "hey, you missed a spot" checks without it turning into "I don't have a racist bone in my body". If the person doing the dishes goes "I am a perfect dish-washer and therefore that plate is clean, and how dare you say I don't know how to wash dishes right", that's also a problem. But I do think we should have a way to distinguish between normalizing saying "you missed a spot" about social justice language, and normalizing everybody within a mile radius jumping on and amplifying the message and bringing the person's past behavior into it and also literally telling the person who missed a spot that they're a terrible person.
Especially since, y'know, follow the money? Social media companies financially benefit from those pile-ons. They encourage them. It's in their business model. It's "engagement." If you're cynical about corporations in general or social media companies in particular (and if you're on tumblr, you probably are)...then part of that should be recognizing when social media companies are manipulating people into being more assholeish than they would be on their own. Even when, especially when, it's done in the name of social justice.
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airiustide · 4 years
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forever young. forever you.
chapter 2/day 2: counterpart
A/N: sorry for posting on tumblr late, work kept me. but here it is, chapter 2. Thank you all for the lovely comments and @zutara-was-robbed for her amazing idea vomiting that helped make this fic possible and her ability to make me laugh.
Summary: After reunion comes joy- at least Katara had hoped. When she finally has the opportunity to confront the stranger, she learns a devastating secret that weights heavy on her heart and soul.
also posted on: AO3
“Speak what we feel, and not what we ought to say. Well, I’m forever young, and you're forever you.” -We are Life by Emarosa
She wasn’t crazy. She hoped.
Katara wants to confront the man in black out in the open, only that would prove to be futile if it really happened to be who she thought it was. No doubt, he would run upon seeing her again like her first day here. She had no evidence it was Zuko but he looked at her, and when he did it was clear that he recognized her.
It took about a week before he crossed her, unnoticed to him. He was taller, much taller. His clothes did not hide his muscle definition and she can tell he was intensively active. Much different from the seventeen-year-old buy she knew but there was no mistaking those eyes.
Once she picked up on his routine, Katara was quick to follow, utilizing every chance between meeting Lotus members and rest to make it just an inch closer to Zuko. She stopped every so feet each time, afraid he might pick up on her stalking- other than the off chance of her being wrong weighing in her mind. No point in turning back now , Katara thought, I am officially labeled a creeper .
It was the same every night. He came out just as the sky turned night, stealthy moving in the dark, through alleyways and barely traveled streets. She remains anonymous as well, choosing clothes colored in dark blue and tying her hair in a low ponytail. He appears from behind an abandoned building again, silently prowling through the streets. This time, he’s not making his usual destination. Katara curses when he stops abruptly a quarter mile from his usual path and turns his head slowly over his shoulder.
Katara stills, biting her lip to hold back anticipated breathing and willing her pounding heart to cease beating in her ears. He’s hesitant for only a moment, facing forward again and slipping into the alley. Katara, darts after him, stopping at the corner. Shock flushed her face. He’s gone!
Cement trickles from above and she barely misses the figure swinging onto the rooftop. Blue eyes widen, shocked to find the stranger peering down at her. In the dark his golden gaze seemed to mock her. Come get me, if you dare, they read. Katara always enjoyed a good challenge. 
*** He’s running ahead of her, hoping from rooftop to rooftop. It felt like they were in sync, the way they ran through the night, his movements as flawless as a languid waterbender. The moon was on her side tonight, providing her the much needed energy to keep up with him. The excitement of it all sang in her blood, heightening her adrenaline.
Katara wanted to laugh with childish delight. Lift a hand out to the sky and feel the wind wisp between her fingers. Never mind that she was chasing after a unknown man but something told her he wasn’t intent on harming her.
She halts gracefully in her tracks when he jumps from one of the rooftops, sliding across a tarp and swinging on the structure holding it up just before he lands on his feet. Katara makes a disappointed groan, knowing this was the end of their game. Instead, she stays on his tracks via rooftop, afraid that if she took the time to crawl down, she might lose him.
She crouches low, cursing herself more than ever. How had she not realized she had wondered into enemy territory. Ozai Society members occupied this area, having scouted  here the week before with the White Lotus under guise.
The man made two raps on the door across the street from where Katara hid, a sharp one thrice, then another two. The door cracks open and Katara can’t make out their voices. The man in black removes his glove and lifts the sleeve of his right arm to reveal a symbol tattooed right below his palm.
She wanted to kick herself. This wasn’t Zuko after all, and she had exposed herself to the enemy. Regardless, she was already here and decided to scope out what was taking place, at least, settling on leaving before the stranger or anyone else decided to come out of the house.
An hour went by, and no one’s left or entered. She’ll have to return home and let the White Lotus know her findings, on top of admitting that she followed an enemy without their knowledge. La, she was in for a scolding. Katara kicks the dust under her feet, preparing for a running start.
“Leaving so soon.” A raspy voice brought her to an abrupt stop.
Katara narrows her eyes, examining the figure carefully approaching her in the dark, contemplating whether to take off or use the opportunity to question the man; though it might turn into a physical confrontation, she was ready for both. “Are you going to make it worth my while if I decided to stay?” She inquires, crossing her arms over her chest.
Amusement flickered in those gold eyes, but he doesn’t reply to her question. “Not very smart coming here.” He tells her.
Katara smiles behind the cloth covering her nose and mouth. That voice, so distinct and so much like him. “ Yet, here you are.” She retorts.
“This isn’t a joke.” He dismisses her playful attitude. “You need to return home.”
“I’m not going back to the inn.” Katara argued, hurt that he was pushing her away without an explanation off the bat. “At least...at least tell me you’re doing okay.”
He shakes his head. “Not the inn. Go home, Katara.”
“No!” She yells, closing the fists at her side. Zuko was stubborn but Katara was even more so. She had him here, she couldn’t stand the idea of him disappearing again.,Her voice carried in the dark, and both of them heard chatter below. A group flooded the street, muttering suspicions. Humiliation and worry colored Katara’s face.
“Damn.” Zuko groaned, snatching Katara by the elbow. “We gotta leave.”
***
So this is where he’s been hiding? The apartment wasn’t exactly rundown but it certainly wasn’t spacious either. It was decent as decent could get. A single bed, a small table and a washroom fit for one. A bed was posted at the far side of the wall, opposite the door, right next to a large window. You could see the town far out in the woods beyond it.
Katara wasn’t ready to remove her disguise, watching Zuko intently as he quietly closed the door behind them and had yet to reveal himself. The air between them thickeded, from the tiny room or their awkwardness, Katara couldn’t tell which. Four years had gone by since the last time they’d seen each other.
Zuko only stares. From behind his shaggy hair, he looks mysterious, ominous, dangerous. For all she knew, he could have very well become those things, four years can change a person.
“You working for the White Lotus?”
He blinks, taking what feels like forever to reply. He shakes his head.
“You’re doing this alone.” Katara guessed, more of a statement than a question, rather.
“Yes.” He tells her.
Katara licks her lips, nervous now that she truly knew it was her missing friend. “Are you the one who’s been anonymously sending tips to the White Lotus.”
“Yes.”
“And you’ve spent all four years infiltrating the Ozai Society? Because you knew your Uncle and Koji were their new target?”
“Yes.”
“...Your Uncle misses you.”
“Don’t.” He says sternly, eyes darting sharply at Katara. “I should’ve taken you to the inn.”
Katara doesn’t know why but that hurt more than she thought. Zuko was known to push people away but he was flat out trying to get rid of her. If she hadn’t lured those members out, he might have left her without a second thought.
Changing the subject, Zuko announces he’ll make them tea, finally removing the mask from his face and revealing paler than normal skin. Being away from the Fire Nation must have made it so.
Feeling more relaxed in his presence, Katara takes a seat on the bed, studying the place, though there wasn’t much. Zuko kept it simple, probably in case there was risk of his true identity being revealed. Or he cared little for anything other than necessities.
She was anxious to know the reason behind him leaving, a million questions hanging on the tip of her tongue. Katara knows if she blurted out a single inquiry, he’ll shut her out immediately. Zuko comes back with their tea in two wooden cups, sitting beside her and taking a quiet sip of his cup.
Katara does the same before proclaiming. “I’ve missed you too.” Hoping it wouldn’t make him retreat.
A furious blush colors Zuko cheeks, his hard features softening. He looks away, clearing his throat and Katara notices his Adam's apple bob. She blushes too, aware just how much he had grown.
“I-I missed you. All of you; Aang, Sokka, Toph. It’s been hard…” He admits.
Progress? She only hoped. “Really?” Katara soothes, hesitantly reaching out to enclose his hand with hers. Zuko doesn’t shake her away.
“Come back.” Katara whispers softly. “After this, come back with me. If not to the Fire Nation, there’s always a place for you in Republic City. Aang can-”
He slips from her grasp, standing on his feet and trudging across the room. Zuko slumps against the wall, crossing his arms and shaking his head. “There’s no place for me. Go, Katara. Back to Republic City, back to Aang.”
“And what will happen if I leave, after you and the White Lotus take down the Ozai Society?” She wasn’t going to leave, of course.
Zuki shrugs. “Why do you care?”
“Because you have family who are worried about you. Iroh is going out of his mind, concerned about what happened to you, he’s not the same.” And because I want you back , she wanted to say, burrowing down her confession.
“I’m doing this for my Uncle.” Zuko clarified.
“No, you're being selfish and doing things on your own again. Keeping everyone who loves you at arm's length, telling yourself you’re protecting them, when in fact you’re only hurting them-
“Stop!”
“You stop!” She promised herself she’d keep her cool, she promised herself she would give Zuko the much needed time to come around. That flew out the window real fast. “When will you grow the hell up! I swear, I thought you matured after joining Aang but silly me for thinking that you’ve evolved from the childish, egocentric, spoiled prince-” She was on her feet, flying at him. Katara couldn’t contain the outrage, the audacity at how he lacked any consideration.
“I said, stop .” Zuko seethed, cuffing her wrists and pressing them to her chest.
“Not until you fix this! Not until you make things right by everyone who has been worried sick about you!”
“It’s none of your damn business!” He shouted, releasing her wrists and reeling back.
Katara’s left speechless. It doesn’t hit her that a single tear escapes down her cheek until her vision is blurred and a ball forms in her throat. She swallows, the ache failing to subside, and she turns away from Zuko in a daze.
Inhaling sharply, Katara regains her composure, wiping the stray tear with the palm of her hand. “I’m worried about you.”
There’s a moment of dead silence, beating darkly in the room. The weight came down heavy on Katara’s limbs like chains. She can hear Zuko’s feet shuffle on the wooden floor, a slow creak like that of a desperate cry. Then he sighs, footsteps retreating to the front door.
“Don’t be.” 
***
She didn’t know when he returned. Dreary, swollen eyes fluttered open to the aura of his presence right next to the bed she borrowed. The inn was across town and the thought of leaving didn’t sit right with her, aside from the exhaustion of their discourse last night.
She sits up quietly, looking over his slumped figure; a mere shadow in a darkened room. Zuko’s hands were clasped together, elbows to knees and his forehead pressed to his fists. He seems to be asleep, until...
“I thought I had a purpose.” Zuko broke the silence. “I had so much to offer at the time, now that I had found my way. You, uncle, aang, everyone...you all gave me a reason to push forward. And though it took me so long to change, to finally realize the man I needed- no, wanted to be, in the end the universe decided I still wasn’t worthy enough.” He paused, Zuko’s breath shook with every attempt to gather himself. “I was so happy. I didn’t deserve it but I was so happy to have met you all. My only regret was that I didn’t make you part of my life sooner, that I didn’t make things right with my Uncle sooner, that I didn’t take the opportunity to truly examine my bad behavior early on in life and make better decisions- because then I’d have more of those precious moments to hold onto.”
Katara doesn’t like this. He’s pouring his heart out but she doesn’t like where this is going. A black hole formed in the pit of her stomach, noting the way Zuko clung roughly to the front of his tunic, at the very center where the evidence of his sacrifice lied. She doesn’t want to meet his eyes when he finally turns his gaze to her. She doesn’t want the memory of those amber eyes glossed with fear and sadness staring back at her with utter defeat.
Please, Yue . Katara prays.
“Katara,” He says softly. Any other time she would have loved to hear him call her name so softly- like a flutter kissing her cheek- but not like this, never like this. “I’m dying.”
104 notes · View notes
matth1w · 4 years
Note
I was wondering if you could write this please: Imagine being Lucifer Morningstar’s long term girlfriend but as a result of fearing the relationship isn’t going anywhere she leaves him. Then after some time she’s a witness in an investigation and Lucifer later will propose to her? Thank you!!
Witness
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Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Reader
Summary: After the fear of your relationship going nowhere, you end things with Lucifer. End of the story, right? Well you just so happen to witness a drive-by and get wrapped up in the Devil again.
Warnings: Breakup, angst, language, some anxiety/panic
Rating: Everyone
Word Count: 4,715. Yes, you read that correctly, 4,715 words.
Note: This is mostly sad but does have a happy ending. I hope you enjoy this, Nonnie. It certainly took a life of its own!
Tags: @kittenlittle24
As a wedding photographer, you were definitely put off with the whole overpriced over the top wedding culture that infected LA. And you had to deal with a plenty couples and guests that were just straight jerks, entitled brats, and thought they could do your job on the freaking iPhone 4.
That said, sometimes it did get to you. You wanted it. Well some of it. None of the family arguments or drama but the ability to stand with your partner and dedicate yourselves to each other in front of your family and friends.
But alas, that didn’t seem to be in the cards for you. You and Lucifer had been together almost five years now and there was nothing that indicated he wanted to take the next step with you.
Sure marriage seemed trivial when you were with the literal Devil, but you couldn’t help but want something more. Of course you trusted him, you knew his flirting was harmless and he would never think of acting on his - or someone else’s - desires.
But… still
Sure you should talk to him like an adult and tell him how you were feeling but that doesn’t always happen.
You had come home after a Sunday wedding, a Catholic one nonetheless. With a full mass. And a reception across town from the ceremony. To say you were exhausted was an understatement.
The only consolation was that the couple was going on a technology-free honeymoon for a few weeks and wouldn’t be bothering you for photos tomorrow like some clients.
Sore feet, a slight headache, and just general annoyance were plaguing you. So it’s no wonder a fight broke out.
You were pouring yourself a glass of water when the elevator doors opened, revealing Lucifer. You paid him no mind but apparently he had other plans.
“Another wedding?”, he sighed as he gave you a once over.
You frowned at that, “Yep”, you bit back with a touch too much of bitterness.
“I don’t understand why you insist on doing those silly things.”
You slammed your glass down.
“Silly?” You spat. “Silly, Lucifer?”
He was looking at you, shocked but annoyed at your outburst.
“Yes, silly, darling. They’re just excuses to party and for women to pretend like they’re the most important princess in the world.”
You stepped forward and pointed your finger at him.
“Newsflash, Morningstar. Some people just want something more than being boyfriend and girlfriend for the rest of their lives.”
“Rest of their lives? Is this about us? It’s only been five years, Y/N.”
“Yeah, and some of these fucks get married after one. It’s been five years, Lucifer, and nothing has changed. You haven’t mentioned marriage once aside from criticizing my clients.”
“And what? You want to get married? Is that what this is about?”
“Yes, for God’s sake!”, you shouted.
“Well why didn’t you just say that?”
“Because, Lucifer, I know you don’t. And seemingly never will.”
His eyes narrowed at that. “And you’re so sure of that? Without having even spoken to me?”
You crossed your arms and looked at him accusingly.
“You want to get married?”
Lucifer paused at that, mouth open but saying nothing.
“That’s what I thought.” Tears started to build up in your eyes. “Well. I think that shows this isn’t meant to be. Wish you wouldn’t have wasted so much of my time.”
“Y/N….”
“It’s over, Lucifer. I’ll get my stuff and get out of your life by the end of the week.”
You didn’t look back as you stepped into the elevator and let the doors close.
— — —
15 months later...
‘Oh fuck’, was your first thought.
Not because there was a dead person in front of you, but because you witnessed it. And because you witnessed it, you’d need to go down to the station. And you just knew you would run into Lucifer.
You looked down at your phone to send a text to Dan. You hadn’t spoken since you and Lucifer broke up so you kept it brief. Hopefully he’d give you a break.
-Just witnessed a drive-by on 15th & Hill. Can I give my statement at a later time when you know who won’t be there?-
Your phone rang and you cursed. You thought about just shutting off your phone but you knew that would just cause more trouble.
You clicked accept and brought the phone to your ear.
“Hey D-“
“Are you alright, Y/N? Are you still on the scene? Stay where you are. We’re on our way.”
“Dan! I’m fine. I’m fine.” You pressed.
“And who do you mean by we? I’d prefer to not have to see anyone I don’t need to.”
“Sorry, Y/N, but Chloe and Lucifer are already on their way to the scene. I can be the one to take your statement but I won’t be able to get there before them.”
‘Great’, you thought.
You sighed, “That’s fine, Dan. See you soon.”
“See you soon.”
You hung up and looked around. A small crowd had begun to form.
‘Might as well try to blend in’.
You spent the next few minutes on your phone, trying to blend in with the crowd and keep your head down.
A throat pointedly cleared behind you and you knew who it was before you turned.
You met the eyes of Lucifer, unable to look away. He was trying to mask whatever emotions he was feeling and gave you a fake sugary sweet smile.
“A little douchie told me you witnessed the shooting. I have to say I’m glad you’re alright but I’m rather surprised you called Daniel. Actually, I guess I’m not since you blocked my number and all that.”
You looked down. You didn’t want to just go out and say ‘I was trying to avoid you because I was - and still am - broken hearted’, so instead you just looked away.
“Lucifer!”, Chloe yelled from her place above the body.
She looked at you and smiled with a visible amount of pity clear on her face.
“Well. If you’ll excuse me, Y/N.” He said with a huff, shrugging his suit jacket and straightening his cuff links.
Cuff links, you noted, that weren’t the ones you had gotten him for your third anniversary and had worn ever since.
You let out the breath you had been holding and slumped as he walked back to the scene.
Thankfully, Chloe was able to keep Lucifer preoccupied for the next few minutes until Dan arrived.
You felt mixed feelings seeing your old friend and ex-boyfriend’s coworker but relief overcame everything else.
At least you could get out of there.
Dan walked over to you with open arms. You accepted the hug and gave him a thankful smile.
“Well, wanna hop in and head over to the station? Shouldn’t take more than an hour.”
You shrugged, “Sounds good. Thanks again, Dan. Hope I’m not being too much of a bother.”
He waved his hand, “Nah, gives me a chance to get some fresh air. Plus I haven’t seen you in forever.”
You gave an awkward smile at that and didn’t comment. You didn’t know what all Lucifer had said about your breakup and realized how awkward the situation was.
Biting your tongue, you walked to the car and hopped in. Thankfully, Dan was pretty silent, turning on the radio to instead fill the air.
Once at the station, you walked in and were hit with a wave of memories. You would often come down to grab lunch with Lucifer, help celebrate birthdays, or bring treats to help when the team was dealing with a difficult case.
You tried to steel your face but Dan was already looking at you.
Thankfully he didn’t say anything. Opting instead to lead you to the interrogation room.
Once inside you sat down at the metal table. You took a moment to breathe, just trying to get through this then you could go back to how things were.
When you looked up at Dan, you saw him standing by the door, looking somewhat nervous.
“Hey, uh, can I ask you something?”, he asked while moving to sit down across from you.
You nodded. Fairly certain what he was going to ask about.
“What happened with you and Lucifer? I mean... you guys seemed lso happy.”
“Lu didn’t tell you?”
“Nah. None of the details anyway. Just that you had some big fight and he was an idiot about it.”
You chuckled dryly. “Yeah, that’s one way to put it. I mean, I was too. Probably more so than him.”
You cleared your throat, “Anyway, that’s behind me. I mean it’s been over a year, it’s time to move on.”
“You really think so?”, Dan asked.
“Yeah. Well I’m sure he already has. And then some. So I might as well...” you saw Dan looking at you like you sprouted another head. “What?”
He laughed, “Nothin’. I just...” he cocked his head and paused, trying to think of how best to phrase it.
“Between you and me, that’s not the case.”
You gave a half smile, knowing what he was trying to say.
“And who knows? It might be worth trying again.”
“I don’t think there’s any fixing things.” You sighed and lowered your head.
Dan gave you a gentle nudge on the shoulder across the table. Like he had so many times before.
“People reconcile all the time. I mean, look at me and Chloe.”
You looked up again at that.
“You two are officially back together?”
“Yeah,” he said with a laugh. “Surprisingly it’s thanks to Luc-“
He coughed awkwardly. “Well. Anyway... want to get into your statement?”
You sighed. Relieved to be talking about the shooting rather than hear more about your ex.
— — —
You stood up after giving your statement to Dan. He went to open the door but paused.
“Hey, I know things... you know... Anyway, it was good seeing you, Y/N. Even under these circumstances. You don’t have to be a stranger.”
You smiled sadly at that.
“Yeah. It was good to see you too. I’m happy to hear about you and Chlo.”
Dan smiled and pressed the file in his hands.
“Well, ready to go?”
“Yep. No offense but I just want to go home.”
He laughed in response to that, “Yeah I get that. Lucifer always said you never liked the whole crime thing.”
You started to laugh but fell silent, realizing how easy it was to fall back into your friendship with Dan and just how much you missed your old life.
Dan opened the door for you and you walked through. Unhappy but not surprised at the sight before you. Lucifer stood on the bottom of the stairs.
“Hey, you good?” Dan muttered to you, placing a hand on your shoulder.
You kept your eyes on Lucifer, who prickled at the sight of Dan touching you.
You looked away and smiled at Dan.
“Yeah. Thanks.”
You walked up to Lucifer and smiled briefly before having to take your eyes away. It was hard just being near him. Looking into those beautiful brown eyes was simply too much.
Lucifer smiled softly at you, that cautious, nervous smile he wore when you two had first started dating.
“Let me drive you home?”
You wanted to agree but then remembered home wasn’t what it had been for so long. Now you were in a new home. And you were unsure about letting him inside it. It was a sanctuary from him. You tried desperately to focus on life without him and it helped having a place he had never been.
“I...” you were unsure of what to do until you saw the pleading look in his eyes. You relented.
“Sure”
You walked side by side with Lucifer, and it felt so strange not holding hands or being close. You stopped once you entered the parking garage. For some reason your didn’t realize you’d be taking the Corvette.
You had so many memories in the passenger seat of that car. Driving through the hills and the wind flowing through your hair, late night drives with music blasting and singing together at the top of your lungs, holding hands on the shift, peppering kisses on his cheek and lips at red lights...
It was too much.
All too much.
Tears started to come forward and you sniffled, trying to conceal your emotions but only achieving in alerting him. I mean, you had stopped in your tracks at the sight of the Corvette and were now trying not to cry. But still, it was embarrassing.
And how would you ride in his car next to him? Being so close to him, in the car you two shared so many memories in, taking him to your new home.
House, not home. He was home. And nowhere you were without would ever be home.
Too much.
You wrung your hands, starting to panic. “I, uh, thanks for the offer Luci, but I actually forgot something inside so go ahead without me.”
It was a shitty lie that you knew Lucifer saw right through, angelic abilities or not. He looked down and tossed the keys in his hand before putting them back in his pocket.
“Right. Well, have a good night, Y/N/N.”
He tried to smile at you but it was just a pitiful look. You met his eyes once more, trying to ignore their shiny mistiness that matched yours.
You smiled one last time, knowing the dam would break any moment. You couldn’t trust your voice so you simply nodded and turned around to walk back.
Once you exited the garage and out of sight, you let out a sob as your back hit the concrete wall. This was all too much. There was too much pain, guilt, regret, and still... love.
That’s what was hardest about seeing him again. The love that was still there and would never leave.
— — —
Once the Uber dropped you off and you went inside your house, you slumped against the wall.
That night, all you could bring yourself to do was cry yourself to sleep.
— — —
The next morning you woke up to a missed call and voicemail. It was from the number you had blocked, then unblocked, then deleted, but never forgot.
You pressed the phone to your ear and heard the soft voice your heard a thousand times before.
“Hello, love. I’m glad to see my call went through. Though I suppose you’re still ignoring my calls. Or sleeping. You always were a sound sleeper... Anyway, just wanted to make sure you got home alright. The Detective said there’s nothing to worry about with the drive-by. Just a silly turf war so we passed it on the gang unit. So... I suppose we won’t run into each other again. It was nice to see you though, darling. I... I miss you.”
There was an extended pause at the end of the message and you expected more but were only met with silence as the voicemail ended.
You looked down at your phone, finger hesitating above the return call button. You didn’t move, instead letting the screen darken.
— — —
You had been avoiding your phone like the plague all morning and afternoon. Doing everything you could to avoid it. You cleaned the house, did laundry, and took a long shower. But finally, you gave in and grabbed it once more.
You saw no messages or missed calls and decided to make that call before you could think twice.
As it rang, your nerves grew.
‘What would you say? Would he even answer? Of course he would answer. He called you. Said he missed you. But would he answ—‘
“Hello?” His voice broke through your cycle of thoughts. Unprepared, you couldn’t reply.
“Y/N, darling, are you there?”, he said with a edge of worry.
You swallowed before responding.
“Yeah, Luci. I’m here.” Your voice broke at the last word.
“Are you okay, love?” Lucifer sounded understandably even more worried now.
You sniffled and nodded. Not trusting your voice but you realized he couldn’t see you.
“Yeah. I’m- I’m fine. I just uh, got your message.”
Lucifer sighed slightly, relieved you were alright.
“Yes. My apologies if I was too forward.”
You gave a halfhearted laugh, “No, it wasn’t.”
You paused. “I- I miss you too.”
Lucifer was silent. For so long you thought the call had been disconnected.
“Luci?”
“Yes. I’m- I’m here darling. Can I... see you?”
You smiled and sniffled again. Your tears slightly turning to ones of happiness.
“Yes. Of course. I would... like that.”
“How about tonight then? I’ll close Lux and we can order that Indian food you love.”
You smiled, “You don’t have to close Lux for me, Luci.”
“I’d do anything for you, darling.”
He cleared his throat.
“Anyway, tonight? Seven?”
“Yeah. I’ll... see you then.”
“See you then, my dear.” Lucifer said quietly.
As you pulled the phone away from your ear and ended the call, you felt lighter. Lighter than you had since...
You checked the time on your phone and decided to try to focus on getting ready, rather than think more.
— — —
At 6:55, you were standing outside Lux’s front door. With a shaky breath, you stepped inside.
True to his word, Lux was empty sans Lucifer sitting at the piano, playing an unfamiliar tune slowly. Lost in the song, Lucifer didn’t notice you until you had descended the stairs and were leaning against the bar.
He closed the lid and turned on the bench to you.
“Did you like it?”
You nodded. “Yeah. It was beautiful. Though, I don’t recognize it.”
He smirked. “Well I would hope not. I wrote it myself.”
You couldn’t help but be surprised. In all the time you had known Lucifer he hadn’t written anything. Especially not a full song.
He sighed then gave you a smile that you knew was hiding his true feelings.
‘Something about that song...’
Before either of you could continue, a man entered, carrying bags labeled with your favorite Indian place. Just as Lucifer had promised.
Luci climbed the stairs to greet him and grabbed the food. Slipping an extra hundred in the man’s hand as he held the door open for him.
You smiled at Lucifer as he came back downstairs. “You always were the best tipper.”
He laughed, “What, that? An old friend told me about the importance of tipping and I guess it’s been a habit ever since.”
You looked down and smiled. You remembered that. It was one of your first dates. Like Lucifer said, he was always extra generous after that.
“Anyway!”, he said lifting up the bags, “Ready to eat?”
You nodded, almost drooling. You hadn’t been to the restaurant since last year and you knew by the smell Lucifer had gotten your favorite.
Luci set the table, and by setting the table, you meant taking the containers out of the bag and opening the packets of plastic silverware.
You looked at the food on the table then back to Lucifer as he waited for you to sit. It wasn’t right though. You scrunched your nose without realizing and Luci laughed. That hearty laugh when you did something ridiculous.
“Oh, you haven’t changed one bit, dear. Come, let’s move to the couch.”
You smiled brightly at him, thankful he could remember your quirks.
You two sat down nearby each other, with some room in between, thanks to the large Lux couches compared to the ones he had upstairs.
You filled the air with happy noises of content and talking about what antics Maze and Amenadiel had gotten up to. It was light, fun, and exactly what you needed.
Once your bellies were full, you both sighed happily.
“That was wonderful, thanks Luci. I haven’t had them since...” you trailed off.
He nodded, “Me neither.”
You looked down at your hands, feeling the shift in the mood.
“About that, darling.”, Luci said, scooting slightly towards you.
You furrowed your brow, “Do we have to?”
Lucifer smiled at your whine. “Unfortunately, I think we do.”
At your silence Lucifer cleared his throat.
“I’ll start.” He looked at you and waited until you met his eyes.
“I’m so terribly sorry for everything I said and more so for the things I didn’t.”
You nodded, biting your lip and trying to hide the tears that were soon to come.
Lucifer scooted closer to you and placed his hand on your back, hesitantly and then more firmly after you hadn’t shaken it away.
“Darling, you have to understand the whole marriage thing was so foreign to me. And the whole swearing before Dad bit just seemed ridiculous.”
At your pointed look he stopped speaking for a moment.
“What I’m trying to say is that I didn’t realize it was so important to you. And I’m sorry. I should have asked. I assure you, if I had known I would have married you the day I met you, Y/N. I knew from the moment I met you you were the one for me.”
“Are you just saying that?”, you questioned. Somewhat insecure.
“No. Of course not, darling. You know I can’t lie.”
At your small smile he continued.
“After you left, I was broken, lost. And when I realized what a mistake I had made, I wanted nothing more than to make it right.”
“So why didn’t you?”, thankfully the tears hadn’t come and your voice was stronger.
“You looked happy,” he sighed. “You seemed to be doing things you always spoke about doing. I didn’t want to ruin that. I thought you were better off.”
“I wasn’t better, Luci. I was just as broken and lost as you were. The reason I was trying new things was because I had to distract myself. It was the only way for me to keep going.”
You leant your head against his shoulder with a sigh. “I’m sorry too, Luci. I should have spoken to you about it earlier. And I shouldn’t have blown up on you like I did.”
You pulled back to look up at him.
“I’m so sorry, Luci. I’m a terrible idiot.”
He smiled down at you and caressed your cheek softly.
“I forgive you, darling.”
The sincerity in his voice broke the dam and you let out a broken sob.
He pulled you in tight and let you cry into his chest, mumbling assurances that he forgave you every time you apologized.
You don’t know when you’d stopped crying. Maybe you ran out of tears.
All you knew was that you awoke some time later. Your throat was dry, eyes puffy, and neck hurt from how you had slept. But, you also felt relaxed. Lighter from the confessions and the tears.
You frowned as you were alone. You rubbed your eyes and picked up your phone on the nearby table. Underneath it was a folded piece of paper with your name written in Lucifer’s handwriting.
You opened and read the note.
My love,
My apologies for not being by your side as you wake up and instead having to leave this. I had to go to a scene. I tried not to but the Detective guilt tripped me. Awful thing to do, really.
Anyway, I assume you’re probably sore from sleeping on this couch. I assure you I tried to get you to come to bed or even on the more comfortable couches upstairs but, well, you know how stubborn and persuasive you can be. Especially when you’re half asleep...
I know you have things to do so I won’t expect you when I return. But I do hope to see you again soon, darling.
With love,
Lucifer
P. S. Maze insisted on watching you sleep. Not me.
You looked around and found Maze behind the bar. You jumped, she was always so quiet.
“Maze?”, you asked.
She frowned at you while she pushed away from the bar but when she approached she pulled you into a tight hug.
“I’m so glad you’re back. Lucifer’s been miserable without you.”
You laughed as you pulled away, “Sorry about that. But I’m not back.”
“But I thought...?”she said with confusion on her face.
“I mean... we just hung out last night. Nothing’s official.”
“Hmmph.” She smirked. “But from what Lucifer told me, you’ll be back.”
You shook your head in happy exasperation.
“Oh Maze. I could always count on you to say the things Lucifer was always too afraid to.”
Maze smiled proudly at that,
“Like how he wanted to marry you?”
You practically choked.
“I’m sorry, what??”
She shrugged, but had her signature smirk.
“Yeah...” she said with fake nonchalance, swirling her drink.
“He had a ring for over a month. But kept backing out because he was ‘unsure you would want to marry the Devil’.”
She added with air quotes at the end.
“And even though I’m dedicated to Lucifer for the rest of eternity, I totally take your side on this one. Dumbass said he didn’t need to talk to you about marriage and already knew how you felt. Saying you didn’t like weddings or something because you were always so sour after shooting them. And I told him, well maybe you were sour because you wanted to stop working them and have your own. But you know how Lucifer is.”
She rolled her eyes and took a quick swig of her drink.
“Once he gets a self-deprecating thought in his head, he can’t get it out. Ugh, daddy issues, am I right?”
You laughed, oh how you missed Maze.
— — —
“So are we doing this?”, you whispered into his chest as he held you tight that night.
He moved his head so he could smile softly down at you.
“Yes, I do believe so.”
You smiled back at up him.
“One condition.”
At his raised eyebrow you smirked.
“You have to ask me out again. You’re not getting off so easily, Luci.”
“Getting off, you say?” With a chuckle. But then he got more serious.
“But I’m afraid I can’t do that darling. Well, rather, I don’t particularly want to.”
Your heart dropped and face fell.
“What?”
“I don’t want to ask you out again.”
“But —“
Lucifer pulled away from you and reached into the pocket inside his suit jacket.
“Darling. I don’t want to simply be boyfriend and girlfriend again. I want you...”
He dropped to his knee, maintaining eye contact with you.
“I want you to be my wife, Y/N.”
You gasped, frozen in place.
“Darling, the moment I met you was the best of my life. And I’m so sorry for not asking sooner, but please. I’m asking now. Will you marry me?”
You stared at Lucifer on his knee before you, holding up a velvet box with an otherworldly beautiful ring inside. Your vision began to blur, and you hastily wiped the tears away.
Seeing him clear before you, nervous, in love, and vulnerable, you couldn’t help but laugh. You brought your hands to his face and gave him a searing kiss that spoke volumes, full of apologies, love, and dedication.
As you pulled back, lips lingering, and pressed your forehead against his, you opened your eyes to stare into his.
“Yes”, you whispered, nodding and smiling. Starting to tear up again.
Lucifer’s face lit up with joy.
“Yes?”
“Yes!” You exclaimed, your smile matching his.
You both looked down as Lucifer took the ring from the box and slipped it on your finger.
You admired its intricacy and perfection for a moment before looking up at your now fiancé.
“I...” you began, trying to quell the tears.
“I... thank you, Luci.”
He laughed at that, unable to stop smiling.
“Darling, I’m the one who should be thanking you. You’re the light of my life.”
You smirked, unable to help yourself. “That’s rich coming from you, Morningstar.”
He closed his eyes and groaned. Trying to hide his smile.
“Back to the puns are we?”
You laughed and automatically responded, “You love me!”
You paused. Partially at the old phrase and at his serious face. Lucifer stroked your cheek.
“I do, my dear. I never stopped and never will.”
754 notes · View notes
popculturebuffet · 4 years
Text
Ducktales Reviews! 3-5: Louie’s Eleven!
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In my most anticipated ep of this batch, Louie’s Ocean’s Eleven esque heist gets derailed by his own ego and someone pulling a Die Hard while Donald finds love in an elevator living it up when he’s going down with the best Daisy in history. Romantic musical numbers, people being dicks, and suprise returns insure. Hey you kooky beatniks there’s gonna be a heist, tonnnniggghtttt under the cut. 
If the little intro blurb didn’t give it away, i’ve been waiting for this one all season, with the last two being okay but not amazing and a suprise treat respectivley. WIth Daisy debuting, a heist (a genre I love and need to watch more of) and the Cablleros, expectations were high... and met and exceded. Yeah while the show has disapointed me before (The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks, which this episode is somehow a sequel to is the prime example. ) with an episode I was chomping at the bit for this one delivered.  The basic setup is as you’d expect: Donald, now having less parental obligations has gotten the Cablleros back together. It’s something Frank hinted at in the EW interview for this episode: That they wanted to explore just what Donald would do now he could ease up a bit. He’s not alone anymore: He trusts Scrooge again, He has Beakly to educate them and his sister to split parenting duties with and make up for lost time. He’s in a good place and has freedom for the first time in 10 years, almost 11... so what DOES he do with it? Up until now his life has been his kids: Sure his overproection of them and trying to get them away from Scrooge was more him projecting over his issues with Della and his childhood in general, but he still meant well on some level. Their his world, the thing he cares most about, and while the boys can be disprectful it’s been shown multiple times they truly love their adopted dad as much as their newly returned mom and Donald did an outstanding job raising them warts and all. What do you do when your life has been one thing for a good third of it?  It’s why I think him trying to get famous through his music makes a lot of sense: His college days and adventures were a happy time for him: hanging out with his best friends, doing something he truly loved, and doing something normal at the same time. So of course the idea of having them not only presumibly move to the area for this, so he has friends close again, and do something from a time he was truly happy... of course he’d jump on that.  But given our trio consists of a disaster area with horrible planning skills 90% of the time, a boisterous rooster, and a playboy Parrot, their plana mounts to “Go to rich people’s bathrooms and plkay and hope they don’t get thrown out”. Since that failed, Louie, being Louie steps in with a crooked contract (Which Donald relucntantly signs after Panchito has already forged his name) and an elaborate heist on tastemaker Emma Glamour’s annual party with the help of his 11: Louie himself, Dewey (More on him in a minute), one of the background characters, the cabs, webby, Huey (whose suprised to find out he just did a forgery), Gyro (who is TOTALLY not in just to test out his new headsets which TOTALLY don’t make your head go pop if you wear them too long) and Manny as his trump card.  But naturally this being a heist pastiche, things go wrong from the start: Turns out Glamour beefed up security with an old familiar face: Falcon Graves, who you may remember from infernal internship and was freaking awesome and kinda hot. He’s back, and Dewey’s understandably afraid of Graves spotting him given last time they met Dewey threw him off a roof.  Things naturally snowball from there: An attempt to have Donald grab a stage pass from Glamour’s assitant, Daisy, aka the reason everyone anticipated this episode so much including me, goes sideways because well Donald and he gets trapped in the elevator with her strapped together. Oh and she finds out he’s a party crasher here for his own plans. Great first meeting.  Meanwhile Jose and Panchito fail to get past the rest of security, Louie continues to undervalue Dewey and fails to schmooze Glamour, and oh yeah: Graves was pulling a Die Hard the entire time in a really nice twist I didn’t see coming. Graves brings in some familiar hired goons: The smashnikovs and Gabby McStabberson from the pilot, back again if in a minor role. The night is full of many happy returns, but we’ll get to the last suprise guest in a second. Meanwhile Donald bonds with Daisy as both feel ignored: Daisy is revealed to, in line with her charcter in general, be a budding fashion designer who wants her dress, the stunning green number that’s been circulating around, to get on the list and hoped by showing it to Glamour at the party and helping plan it, she’d throw her a bone. I REALLY like Daisy’s character here a LOT. She has Daisy’s empathy, love of fashion, with some added ambition and combat prowess, more on that in a second, while still being willing to call someone out if she has to, and even when she does so to Donald it is after she finds out he was gatecrashing her one shot at getting ahead in her dream career, calming down when she gets an understanding of his reasons and just how lonely he truly feels. Frank scraped together every good part of every version of daisy and left her old, horribly outdated and sexist “nagging girlfriend/wife from every sitcom that came decades after this character was created” characterization used at times dead and buried.  Speaking of Donald, the musical number was utterly beautiful, the clear highlight of the episode and wonderfully romantic, while also heartbreaking: and Donald not being listend to DOES really tie into his character for me: no one really has: Della and Scrooge flat out ignored his concerns about space travel, while the boys love him they will, with Huey being the outlier, ignore or dispresct him frequently. And even his two best friends bicker over their own directions for the bands while ignoring him up to the end, something I DO wish had gotten more focus, as do I wish the cabs had gotten just a touch more in general as their mostly off to the side. That being said I like this: besides being somewhat meta given donald’s spare use in season 1 and being only in about half of season 2, I like this: It shows that while he appears to take his family ignroing waht he wants constantly in stride inside he jsut wants SOMEONE to care about what he wants and needs, genuinely care. I mean “The Golden Spear” did show they TRY at times, with the cruise being an especially nice gesture, but most of the time they generally don’t think about donald when planning family outings or what not, it’s just one adventure after another with him left in the dust or fearing for his life. He’s a great adventuer, truly legendary.. but he dosen’t LIKE adventuering. He just wants someone who cares about what he wants.. and he’s found it in someone looking for the same and seeing not someone they love but don’t respect.. but a sweet kind man who just wants for someone to respect what he wants and genuinelyw ork at doing that. And he got it.  Before we get to the climax the other main plot, since both plots share equal time this ep really and are really just two halfs of the same main plot, the Dewey and Louie plot is a bit weaker. It’s not BAD but it is predictable, though it was nice to see Louie be the control freak and it makes sense: hustling what he’s good at so of course he wants to see his plan go through and get the glory... but he fails to be actually GOOD at heisting whicha lso makes sense: Louie’s good at manipulationa nd seeing angles.. but he’s so caught up in his own scheme, he can’t see them and is blind to the value of his own brother. While Deweey can be massively unehlpful and attention whorish, he does have a genuine knowledge of the partya nd Glamour that woudl’ve made things go faster, and it does fit his character enough not to be jaring and the ending of it, with Dewey providing a critical distraction AND getting on the list himself, whlie Louie saves his eleven and a huge fight with them, and daisy who proves every bit as badass and prone to bersekerr rages as her man, that’s a treat to see, is predictable, though the bit of Louie giving Dewey a new heist plan with his brother included and admitting he was wrong wa nice. It’s not bad, it just pales in comaprison to the donsy plot right next to it that’s so much fresher and more intersting.  However while the main brother conflict is mostly passable, the rest of the heist is wells et up and the ep as a whole shot up from good to great witht he climax, starting with a big, wonderful, and fucking hilarous reveal: Graves was after Glamour’s phone, which acesses her website and sold it off to the highest bidder.. and the second we find out that was his plan, it becomes obvious just whose coming back: Beaksy is back, to graves utter horror after the fiasco from last time, as he wants on the list. And while the minute graves mentioned he was selling off Emma’s phone I could tell Beaks was about to make his way in, the show did throw me a genuine , wonderful curveball: Emma is beaks mother. Given his mom is a cold and distant assholish tastemaker and “Coach Dad” apparently mocked his unatheltic son, it explains.. pretty much everything really. Graves is mortified and eventually just plans to say screw it and kill both for annoying him, another bit I like as it shows even a consumate professional can get fed up with the beaks family, understandably their Duckberg’s version of the Sapperstiens at this point, but Emma is saved by Daisy, who after Graves whaleson donald, returns the favor and beats the shit out of him. It twas glorious.  So things wrap up: everyone’s new faviorite couple takes turns telling Emma off who actually concedes to Daisy telling her someone needed to stand up to her, and puts her dress ont he list, graves is arressed by Detective Cabrera (to my utter delight, one last nice suprise) and the boys play their number.. they don’t get on the list because donald can’t sing, but Daisy is smitten and Donald likewise. Also beaks is squatted next to his mom whining like a petulant child because of course he is. All in all a great ending As you could tell I loved this ep. While again the main dewey and louie conflict was just kinda stock and predictable, the amount of energy and heart in the rest of the episode easily overrides it, and I was delighted both to see Graves come back and to see beaks suprise appearnce tying him to both of the episodes antagonists. Overall a well plotted fun romp despite it’s flaws and one of the highlights so far. An instant classic. As for where it ranks... 1. Quack Pack 2. Louie’s Eleven 3. Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks! 4. The Lost Harp of MIrvana! 6. Double O Duck . HOpe you liked the review and if there’s any other episode from the first two seasons of the reboot or from the original, or from the disney afternoon or the animated marvel canon, just throw me a message or an ask. Later days.  Stray thoughts; 1. Huey’s bit was gold and I feel for the poor boy.  2. I was mildly disapointed the eleven mostly included exactly who you thought and Manny when we have a rather large supporitng cast to pull from. 
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moidse · 3 years
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Long time no chat....
I really just need to scream into the void so I’m back back back back back again!! 
Okay, I just feel like I’m getting very close to my breaking point living with *****.... like I am just worried because I’m not doing a good job of calming myself down and decompressing from all the annoying things they do... because its like i literally can’t we share a room together and they are on break and just want to hang out with me constantly..
side thought, maybe i can start walking in the mornings and creating my own space away. I could try going to noe cafe. I could start making my own space. as much as I can... 
anyways.. I’m just like. it’s hard because I don’t like them as much as they like me and it’s just become so apparent and obvious it hurts. like I can feel this awful feeling in my gut. and then when they told me I’m mean to them when i’m black out i’m like oh god.... that is not a good sign at all if when im black out im mean to them and probably saying how i really feel about them like that is toxic and not good. and i feel like idk what to do, we are about to go on this week long family vacay... i feel lso overwhelmed i’m like first things first I need to just survive this trip. I mean, it wont be us alone it will be us hanging out with their sibs so that probably will ease some tension having other people....but like i dont know what my long term plan is here and i’m a bit worried. 
I want more space from them. I do not want to live with them. because I now depend on them to provide a roof over my head... I find myself not saying my feelings because I’m afraid of upsetting them and losing my housing... which they say they wouldn’t get mad at me and do... but i dont think it would be healthy for us to share a bed after i explain that i’m not that attracted to them anymore and i would like space... like... 
I just see them as more of a friend now then ever. like i do not want to kiss them or touch them or do anything and you know what i don’t care if any wants to touch me.. like who cares i feel bad about myself ... and like i’m just tired of having to awkwardly pull away from kisses or them flirting.. like i hate it.. every time they try to flirt my gut drops cuz im like ugh i dont wanna have to do this... 
Maybe i should just say that I’m just not feeling as into it and I need a pause on kissing and everything.
--- it just sucks, it feels like i traded one bad living situation for another... like im still dependent on someone.
i just wish i was able to afford to live on my own around here or with like half the people we live with. 
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tempocolumn5 · 3 years
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7 Steps to Getting a Better Activities Bettor, 10 Items I Wish That i knew of About Casino Casino Before I Started
If you want to be able to improve your gambling results, you 1st need to improve your methods. When you do the same things you? ve always completed and expect distinct results, the odds are that you simply? lso are going to be disappointed. But when you? re all set to make some changes, I? ve set together a list of 7 ways to becoming some sort of better sports gambler. Follow this step by step guide and you? ll quickly be able to improve your sports betting. a single. Specialize Experts within most fields focus on one thing. Human brain surgeons don? to operate on knees, and math teachers add? t teach Uk. So why do almost all sports bettors think that they may make profitable wagers on more compared to one sport or league? The 1st step in being a better sports gambler is to pick a sport plus league in support of location bets on of which particular one. This will make it easier to turn out to be a professional. When you specialize like this, you can concentrate all your resources in one particular area. Instead of gathering a wide range of area information and particulars, you can acquire you a chance to dig further and uncover extra profitable information. First of all, pick a sport. Which in turn sport do an individual enjoy watching the most? Now pick a league or section or conference to pay attention to. It doesn? capital t have to end up being big. It merely requires has to offer more than enough betting opportunities with regard to you to manage to find value. Below? s an instance of choosing a sport and then drilling down to a smaller area to are skilled in: Sport. Field hockey Next level choices. NBA, WNBA, NCAA It doesn? t really matter which in turn sport you select, just as long as a person focus on this. This doesn? capital t mean that a person can? t delight in other sports, but until you create your skills to typically the point where an individual? re consistently being successful on one activity, you shouldn? capital t place bets on other ones. two. Work Harder As compared to the Terme conseillé Bookies evaluate upcoming games and set traces based on just what they learn about the particular teams, the players involved, the weather, the travel schedules, as well as the betting public. These people don? t worry who wins or loses a tournament. The only factor they value is setting lines that make close to typically the same betting activity on each side of the contest. Ebooks are in company to make a new profit. Almost all of the ways that they operate are slanted within their favor. They fee a fee to place bets, inside the form regarding vig, and to help make it cash, they don? capital t have to offer lines that appear close to forecasting the final score within a game. Due to the fact the long-term revenue of the sporting activities book is the most important point to them, they will spend a great deal of time and effort looking at upcoming games to allow them to set lines that creates the highest rate of return. This means that if you want to learn how in order to be a much better sports bettor, you have to figure out precisely how to do some sort of better job of evaluating games than the bookmakers do, and/or manage to assess games to enable you to precisely predict the outcomes and find the regions where your intutions don? t agree with the ranges set by the ebooks. To do this, you should either possess to be smarter than the people earning a living for the terme conseillé, or work more difficult compared to the books. Typically the good news is usually that the bookmakers only have a restricted amount of period and manpower to spend on each and every game and series. And most books present numerous lines the week, to help you discover areas where you may outwork them. That they spend most involving their time making solid lines regarding the games of which have the top betting totals plus spend less time and energy upon games that aren? t as well-liked. This means a couple of important things to be able to sports bettors. The particular first thing is the fact that popular games are often more difficult in order to find value on. The second point is the fact that less well-liked games often need looser lines. When you? re prepared to spend more period on less popular games and function harder compared to bookmakers, you can start finding valuable gambling opportunities on some sort of regular basis. If you learn to carry out this, it may make a large development within your results. Because you master this, the biggest difficulty you? re gonna have is determining how to help make big bets on small games. three or more. Learn How in order to Find Value Typically the key to each back again sports bettor will be finding games with lines that offer worth. This is the process that concentrates on the long term. An individual have to learn how to consistently find value and be able to ride out typically the ups and downs of athletics betting. On additionally and minus gambling lines, the best bettors only win close to 55% of the time. Yet if you can easily win 55% of the time, you may make a great deal of money. But this also signifies that the very best bettors lose 45% involving the time. But with time, if these people can continue finding value and operating out the pros and cons, they can create long-term profit. It might look like it? s simple to physique out how in order to win 55% involving the time, nevertheless only a few bettors are able to carry out it. The truth is, depending in the level of vig on the bets you place, an individual can show a long-term profit simply by winning 52 to 53% of the particular time. And even this really is challenging. Whenever you start searching for lines that provide value, you want to find video games that the bookies have made an error on when setting their lines, or even have lines that have been moved one approach since the books usually are trying to equilibrium their totals. Based upon many things, outlines can be adjusted before these people? re published, in addition to can be tweaked after bets begin coming in if too much money comes within on one side of the competition. It is crucial figuring out how to assess games accurately and so you can get lines that can certainly be exploited. In this article? s a good example: Bookies know that gamblers often make bets with a residence team bias. These people also understand that teams that are seriously favored are sometimes bet on along with a big name or big team bias. Any time a powerhouse plan like the Birmingham, al NCAA football team plays at house against a weakened opponent, the ebooks understand that most of the money is usually bet on The state of alabama. They take this kind of into consideration when that they set the line. If they determine that will Alabama will possibly win the online game by 24 factors, they might collection the line from Alabama. 27 any time they publish the opening line. When you also figure out that Alabama will certainly win by twenty four points, you may bet on typically the opponent and get 27 points. This specific is a benefit bet. You might? t blindly bet on the underdog in games with home team and massive team bias, but it? s one place where you can look with regard to possible value on a game-by-game foundation. Every game that you consider betting about needs to always be evaluated and compared to the accessible lines. Only create bets on video games where you find benefit. When you gain encounter and improve your evaluation abilities, an individual can become a new better sports bettor. Because sports betting is based about games played simply by humans, it? h impossible to predict specific outcomes. This specific doesn? t indicate that you put on? t try to forecast the outcomes-just that will it? s difficult to do. This is usually why to become winning sports bettor is usually challenging. It also implies that not every game that appears like it gives price will work out as a winner. But if you act like you can get value in sufficient games, you are able to win more than you already know. But you furthermore need to recognize that you need in order to look at your abilities over a long period of time. When you place wagers that really offer value over time, you? re planning to make funds. Anything can occur in the brief term, but above time, your capability will show by means of. This means that you require to consistently attempt to improve your skills and track your results. This is certainly the only approach that you may see if you? re finding correct value or if you want to adjust your method. 4. Build The System If an individual want to become a better sports bettor, it is advisable to think about building two different types of sites. The initial network you need to construct is a system of men and women and details? sources offering an individual with the points you need to find value. The particular people can end up being anyone connected to be able to a team or even teams that you simply stick to, anyone in the reports media that might gain access to inside information, or anyone more who just might provide details it is advisable to help make good decisions. Some other information sources can include websites, newspapers, television programs, forums, or even anywhere else that publishes or provides information available. The bookmakers have their own own networks, in addition to your goal should be to build better types than the ebooks use. If an individual can develop associations with people related with the groups in the conference you track, you might be in a position to access important data prior to the sports textbooks do. Information is the king associated with profitable sports betting, and even the bigger your information network is, the better your chances to look for information that can help you discover worth bets and lines. The particular second kind associated with network that could be valuable to you as a sports activities bettor is the network of people and places where you could place bets together with reduced or zero vig. We? lmost all cover more regarding paying lower vig in the past section on this specific page. 5. Concentrate on Small, Certainly not Big I carressed on this previous on the webpage, but if a person want to be a lucrative sports bettor, an individual should concentrate on tiny, not big. Small conferences produce a lot more opportunities to get value than large conferences do. And fewer popular games typically offer a better chance at finding value than popular games do. Just about all people watch the particular big games, along with the media covers these people more than they cover most less-important games combined. But this often generates tight lines where it? s challenging to find value. The reason We? ve included this kind of in more than a single place is because it? s 1 of the the majority of powerful steps you can take to be able to improve your sports betting. Here? s some sort of real-world example that will illustrates how successful focusing on little could be. I survive near a little conference NCAA basketball team. They obtain a small amount of national protection, but most of the media coverage is definitely local. I have access to all involving the local mass media and know those who work at the University. It? s simple to attend functions where you can form interactions with all the people engaged with the sports and basketball plans. Getting brought to mentors and players is usually easy at a new small college. The particular key to this is to not let any individual know you? lso are a sports bettor. Colleges are afraid to death involving anything that is related to gambling involving their very own teams. Just perform like a fan, in addition to you may get surprised at the things learn that can help you discover value. Some items are basic, like becoming aware of traumas that the bookmakers don? t recognize about, but other things can end up being as powerful. If you know how the starting quarterback or even running back have been out partying before a game or even that this starting stage guard got broke up with by his sweetheart, it can always be valuable. When these types of things happen with schools covered upon a national level, they become major stories and every person hears about it. But at a small school, you can develop sources regarding information that by no means becomes public. a few. Don? t Guess Too Much using one Game Earlier, My partner and i covered how successful sports bettors win between 52% and even 55% of the particular games they guess on. This means that they have winning and shedding streaks. Because associated with this, you need to be very careful of how a lot of without a doubt on any kind of single game or perhaps small group of game titles in relationship in order to your total bank roll. You want to bet as much as possible to be able to maximize your is victorious, but you have to make sure that a losing skills doesn? t damage your bankroll thus much that an individual can? t make future bets. Your own tolerance of hazard and how easily you can change your bankroll want to be considered in, however you should have a regular bet amount or even bet range centered on a percentage associated with your bankroll. I would recommend betting between 1% to no even more than 5% associated with your total money on any sole contest. If a person bet 5% regarding your total money on a single game, you just have enough regarding 20 games. While the odds are long that you simply? re planning to lose 20 straight games, an individual can still take a big hit when you have a poor day or 7 days. If you bet 2% of your current total bankroll each game, you have enough to cover 40 games. This will be a more comfortable area. You can also make use of a small range that? s based about how much worth a game gives. You might guess 2% on video games that provide smaller benefit, and 3% or even 4% on video game that offer more benefit. 7. Pay Reduce Vig
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The vig that you shell out doesn? t straight change your ability as being a sports bettor, nonetheless it does change your long-term revenue and losses. Therefore if you could place bets along with reduced vig or perhaps with no vig, it means you should earn less to exhibit some sort of profit. The regular vig at most bookmakers is gambling $110 to earn $100. But many books offer specials through time to moment with reduced vig of $105 in order to win $100, or offer it about certain sports or games once a week. The only way in order to make bets together with no vig through finding other people to bet with. If you place bets with no vig, an individual only need to win slightly more than 50% of the time to demonstrate a long-term gain. You can begin building a new network of sports bettors who you can place wagers with. This makes some different issues than you might face when bets with a bookmaker, nevertheless if you? re smart and cautious, it can be a good method for making at very least some of your current bets without paying out vig. Start simply by asking others an individual know who wager on sports concerning making bets along. It helps to be able to find fans involving different teams who like to bet issues favorite teams. After some time, if you maintain your eyes open, you can construct an extensive community of possible gambling partners. These seven steps to becoming the better sports bettor are a great place to start if an individual want to succeed more. It? h difficult to become the winning bettor, nevertheless it can end up being done. Discover ways to get value, create your sites, and watch your own bankroll, and a person can become a being successful sports bettor. Online casino gambling can be a wide-open world since it characteristics so many distinct games. And this particular variety is ideal for enjoyment purposes. But it also can make gambling tough on beginners. Personally, i fought with a number of aspects in the start, such as various property edges, strategy, obtaining comps, and bank roll management. All associated with this resulted within me winning less money than My partner and i could have if I? d known more about the subject. When you? re completely new to casino wagering, follow along just as I discuss the early mistakes therefore that you could avoid them. just one? The Casino Gets the Edge in Every thing I was stuffed with a variety of images the first time i walked into a casino. And one of the particular biggest points of which I was sketchy on was the residence edge. The gambling establishment has an edge with almost each bet and game. After all, this will be how they defeat players and help to make their money. I figured that casinos experienced some type of an benefits with their games. But I furthermore thought that all I would certainly just have to start playing in addition to aspire to get fortunate. This is true to a degree, because short-term luck may bring an individual big profits. However, it? s significant to realize that will you? re facing a long-term disadvantage. Consider European different roulette games, for example, where the house edge is usually 2. 70%. The regular player is heading to lose $2. 70 for every hundred buck they bet upon European roulette. This specific is actually a low house edge with regard to most of casino playing. But it? s the advantage for that casino, nonetheless. Performs this suggest that you have to avoid playing online casino games? No, mainly because you can nevertheless win in typically the short run. But only understand that casino gambling isn? t meant to be some sort of full-time job for anybody except the pros (discussed later). 2? House Ends Can Differ Greatly Between Games Understanding the house edge is merely part of typically the battle in successful at casino betting. It? s furthermore crucial to know how the house edge can differ from sport to game. When your absolute goal is to win, you naturally want to enjoy the highest-paying online games available. But a person? re going to be able to have an extremely difficult time doing this if you put on? t know the different house edges. Here? s some sort of list of casino games along with the house benefits: Video poker sama dengan 0. 46% house edge (9/6 Jacks or Better) Blackjack = 0. five per cent to second . 0% (varies by desk rules) Baccarat = 1. 06% (banker bet) French roulette = 1 ) 35% Craps = a single. 36% (don? to pass line & don? t come) Pai Gow holdem poker = one 46% European roulette sama dengan 2. 70% Permit It Ride sama dengan 3. 51% On-line scratch cards = 5. 0% (varies by provider) Carribbean stud = your five. 22% American roulette = 5. 26% Keno = 10% to 40% Since you can see, video poker, blackjack, baccarat, French different roulette games, Pai Gow online poker, and European different roulette games all give a person a strong chance to win. Of program, my point isn? t that you have to stick with the best-paying games. Some gamers may find slot machines and Caribbean man to be genuinely fun. But this? s still essential to know which often casino games provide you with the highest chance to be able to win. This is especially the situation when it comes to how a lot the top game titles differ from the particular lower-paying ones throughout terms of property edge. 3? You should know the Right Bets and Strategy to Win You must not take for granted that you? ll instantly achieve the best property edge. Most on line casino games have certain strategy and wagers that you need to value to reduce the house advantage to be able to its lowest stage. I wasn? t a complete fool when it emerged to realizing that will casino games involve strategy. But I actually also didn? to know how to be able to make use of the best strategy/bets on any video game. Casino games that will require extensive method to win contain blackjack, poker, wagering, poker, and online video poker. Let? t consider video poker, where you want to learn the correct strategy for the game along with the shell out table you? re also playing. For instance , 9/6 Jacks or Far better strategy won? to help you attain the top investment recovery on 8/5 Added bonus Poker. Games that will require making the correct bets include baccarat, craps, and roulette (different variations). Working with baccarat for instance, a person should bet for the banker hand each time, because it has got the lowest residence edge (1. 06%). Roulette presents some sort of different situation as you need to pick the best games to boost your likelihood of winning. German roulette (1. 35% house edge) in addition to European roulette (2. 70%) give a person a better probability of winning than American roulette (5. 26%). Long story brief, get to know the strategy and even best bets intended for games that a person like the most. four? Strategy Isn? to as Challenging to Understand as You Consider Again, I recognized that particular casino games involve strategy. Yet I didn? t bother studying technique before playing due to the fact I thought it would likely be too complicated and make wagering less fun. The particular truth, though, will be that strategy with regard to most casino games isn? t because tough to learn since you think. Blackjack online and video online poker are two excellent examples of this. Both games have got static strategy of which you can use time and time again after an individual learn it. A person can learn blackjack quickly by looking around for a technique graph and or chart on the world wide web. A blackjack method chart shows every single move that you should make based on the dealer? s up-card and your rating total. You? lmost all essentially master baccarat strategy just by simply memorizing the chart and using it in order to each situation. Video clip poker also provides strategy charts regarding certain games. These rank each side in terms of importance so that a person know what cards/hands to keep and even what to throw away. If there? s a video holdem poker variation you such as that isn? big t covered by a technique chart, you may also use a trainer. Video poker instructors are programs that will show once you create mistakes while playing. The goal is always to learn through repetition and eventually use perfect strategy. I actually? m not stating that you can memorize strategy for any kind of casino game within five minutes. Yet on the some other hand, you don? t need to be the professional just to lower the black jack or video holdem poker house edge under 1%. 5? Comps Aren? t Right away Given in Land-Based Gambling dens One mistake of which I made integrated gambling at land-based casinos without using advantage of comps. I? d frequently learned about casino comps, including free beverages, buffets, hotel stays, and VIP fits. And i also did acquire some free beverages for playing baccarat, blackjack, roulette, and even slot machines. But that was almost all, because I never bothered to indication up for typically the players club till researching it later on. Brick-and-mortar casinos offer you players clubs plus slots clubs and so that you may get rewards on table and machine-based games. All an individual need to carry out to start obtaining rewards is go to the players workplace and sign right up for the dedication program. However, you? re only considering cost-free drinks in case you are unsuccessful to sign up. For this reason I suggest joining players club at any brand new casino you check out. If you? re also coping with corporate-owned on line casino (e. g., Caesars, Boyd Gaming), you can use the players card at any of the components they own. 1 more point out keep in mind will be that the ditch boss needs to be able to rate you regarding table game comps. The best way to ensure this kind of happens is by supplying the dealer your players club card when you sit down to a stand. They? ll next hand your greeting card for the pit boss and tell all of them that you desire to get rated. 6? Gambling dens Send You Regular Provides Besides getting comps, another reason why you ought to join the gamers and slots night clubs is that an individual? ll get no cost offers. Land-based casinos commonly send loyalty members offers by way of mail and e-mail. You can acquire advantage of these promotions if you? re some sort of VIP program participant. Online casinos email promotions to any individual who may have signed up at their web site. Considering the fact that it only takes a number of minutes to subscribe at an online on line casino, this is a good idea and so that you get involved on the newest promos. Another way to find out about casino presents is by going to their social mass media pages. Most net casinos have some sort of Facebook and Twitter page where they will share their best and newest bonuses. Whatever the case, I actually highly recommend that you just look for gambling establishment promotions whenever potential so that a person don? t overlook out on the best rewards like Used to do in the starting. 7? Wagering Needs Differ with On-line Casino Bonuses On-line casinos commonly provide welcome bonuses to be able to encourage new participants to sign up and deposit. For example, you might get a fully deposit bonus value up to $1, 000 on the first three deposits. These are definitely well worth using if an individual? re going to be performing internet casino games anyway. But you should check wagering requirements before an individual actually make down payment. The first time that I transferred at an online casino, I didn? t look at the terms and conditions. In addition to the casino enforced 60x wagering needs on the deposit bonus. I deposited $200, meaning I experienced to wager $12, 000 to open my reward. The particular industry standard with regard to online casino betting requirements is 40x the bonus, or perhaps 20x the benefit plus deposit quantity. In some instances, you can even find bonuses that will only have 30x or 35x betting requirements. Maybe you put on? t care about precisely how much you have to bet to get a bonus. But I still suggest reading the particular terms and conditions, because it only is sensible in order to play where you don? t have to wager as much to open bonuses. 8? On the web Casinos Usually Supply you with the Best Chance to be able to Succeed Those who gamble in brick-and-mortar casinos usually carry out so because these people like the setting and social atmosphere. This particular is why I personally still visit land-based casinos. But I additionally enjoy playing online casino games because they offer you a better opportunity to get. Associated with because they don? t have got as many expenditures as brick-and-mortar gambling dens. They can then simply pass savings onto players in typically the form of decrease house edges. Some sort of great example is definitely online slots, which usually pay back involving 95% and 98%. Contrast this to land-based slot machines, where games present payback between 88% and 94%. An additional example is blackjack online, to often have more favorable rules at online gambling dens than you may on the average land-based establishment. Other online games like baccarat, craps, roulette, and video clip poker are very similar any time moving between on the internet and brick-and-mortar casinos. I still inform you to look at the rules any time you play an on the web casino game, mainly because you? ll occasionally face a better residence edge than at land-based casinos. Although overall, your very best is likely that of winning are normally at internet internet sites. Furthermore, you can easily look forward to lower stakes like well. 9? An individual Can Become some sort of Pro Gambler? Yet It? s Difficult One thing that will initially fascinated me personally about gambling is that you simply can make some sort of living through it. But the fact is that the typical person is much better off working some sort of normal job compared to trying to become a pro gambler. The prevailing concern that is because you need a really large bankroll to get started. The professional card counter top should have everywhere from $25, 000 to $50, 500 if they want a realistic shot from winning long-term. A pro sports bettor has to have a large enough bank roll they only have to risk 1%-2% of their finances on any individual bet. Poker benefits need enough cash to hide 30 funds game buy-ins or 75-100 tournament buy-ins when they want to survive the deviation. Of course, creating a large bankroll is only part of typically the equation. You also need to develop the expertise that? ll support you win on a consistent foundation. In card counting, you must get good at depending cards and avoiding casino detection. Typically the latter can find you kicked outside the casino. Expert poker players have got to dedicate extensive hours to learning possibilities, how to play hands, and identifying their opponent? s tendencies. The second option requires lots of experience plus the ability in order to adjust on typically the fly. Sports gambling pros must need a good control of odds plus properly researching each bet. Even next, this is the tough pursuit, since sportsbooks are extremely fine at setting traces. This isn? capital t meant to dissuade you if an individual? re truly interested in becoming a new professional gambler. But note that it takes a lot associated with work, experience, in addition to a big bankroll to make this. 10? Bankroll Supervision Is very important One ultimate part of the challenge that we was missing as being a beginner is bank roll management. The first time I went to a casino, I played various games and rapidly lost $200. This kind of left me questioning what actually happened and how to extend my bankroll further more the next time. Bankroll management (BRM) is the important to making this occur. And your BRM will differ based on the game that you simply? re playing. I actually? ll offer several different variables with regard to blackjack to create a good example: You? lso are betting $10 per hand on baccarat. Your table is seeing 70 arms per hour. This functions out to $700 bet 1 hour. The house edge is 1%. Your assumptive losses will end up being $7 per hours. You tip typically the dealer $5 per hour. You possess a $200 bankroll. $200 bankroll/$12 each hour = sixteen. 7 hours. In this article? s one even more example based about slot machines: An individual play $0. twenty five slot machines. You perform 800 spins each hour. This works out to one hundred dollar bet hourly. The particular house edge is 6%. Your theoretical losses are $12 an hour. A person have a $150 bankroll. $150 bankroll/$12 per hour sama dengan 12. 5 hrs. Keep in mind that your BRM plan is only a rough guide on theoretical loss. And the wish is that you actually end up winning money during your classes. But it? t still an excellent idea to arrive up with a bankroll plan so that you have a very good idea regarding how long your current money will previous. Anyone can pick upward gambling and start enjoying right away. Although I think it? s better to be able to know something about the subject in buy to transform your odds of winning. However, I didn? capital t know much in any way and was based solely on fortune. While gambling was still being fun at this specific stage, it has become considerably better after I learned strategy and even which games pay out the most effective. There? s no reason for new players in order to end up within the same vessel web site did because a new gambler. That being explained, remember what I actually? ve discussed below so that a person have the best probable chance to get money with online casino games immediatel 안전놀이터
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ray-ray-writings · 3 years
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700 Friend Behind the Scene Special!
Hello there! So a little bit of back story, everything I write is written in a google doc because it automatically saves everything and I can think clearer when I’m typing in a document. Sometimes when I’m writing, I’ll get tired or get stuck or write something I don’t like. So I’ll make a note to myself of what I was writing so I can come back to it later, or write out the basic idea of what I want to happen so I can visualize it in words better, or hit enter a few times and re-write somethings. So in celebration of me hitting 700 friends I have gathered a few of those things so that I can share with you a little bit of my thought process, but also so you might have a laugh or may see where some of your favorite stories almost went. I don’t know if any of you will actually like this or actually care, but I thought that it was something cool lol. So here you go! I hope you enjoy!!!
Notes to Self/Prompts to Myself
A Dedicated and Domesticated Pig: *Note to future self so I know what I was going for. He’s making breakfast with your child on your hip. I’m thinking a daughter named something with Phil’s name maybe or maybe just a T name. Then you two are leaving for a festival in L’Manberg where Philza interacts with your daughter. And the night ends with you three cuddled up together and you’re reminiscing on how he asked you out and then it all comes full circle somehow using the words dedicated because we’re that kind of simp*
Gift of Friendship: Techno- “I made friendship bracelets”. “I don’t wear jewelry” “oh okay. I can take it back. You don’t have to wear it I’ll take it back-“ “no I will wear this until the day I die
Notes in general: There are a lot of *Insert title here* or *Insert really cool and creative title here*
There is also a lot of *Insert really nice summary here that sums everything up but is also clever*
Actually Pretty Funny: I knew I wanted to use “Tommy leave me alone” “Tommy told me you were in here crying” “That little snitch” but I didn’t know where so I made a note to use it. 
What Could Have Been or Almost Was
This has a few pieces of writing but is mostly about what I almost titled the pieces you know and love. 
Stolen Goods: I was about to retort but the sound of the nether portal activating cut my words off.
“We’re back!” I heard my younger brother call out. Techno and I walked together toward the portal to greet our brothers, but they weren’t alone. “Hey guys! Oh hey Dream,” I greeted the three, setting my chest down next to the wood I brought in earlier. “Hey Y/N/N? Get what we asked for?” Tommy asked, walking toward me. I simply stared at him and then looked at the pile of wood beside me. “No” I deadpanned. 
I then turned to my chest and quickly put my axe away. “Then what’s that?” Tommy questioned in confusion. I rolled my eyes, closed my chest and turned to him. “What you asked for dummy” “But you just said no?” “I was being sarcastic!” I exclaimed, moving toward him and slightly pushing him. “Well I didn’t know that!” Tommy exclaimed, pushing me back. “Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop pushing each other.” Wilbur demanded, “Just say thank you and move on Tommy.” Tommy huffed but said, “Thank you Y/N.” “You’re welcome Tommy.” 
“So is this how you four interact all the time?” Dream questioned, moving closer to the two of us. I let out a laugh and turned to the masked man, “Yeah. Pretty much. Sometimes we get along, but sometimes they get on my nerves.” I informed the man, while playfully glaring at 
A Hairy Situation: I had a lot of trouble coming up with a cool title for “a Hairy Situation” . It almost was like “Braided Together” or something like that but I was like, it’s about hair. It’s a situation. It’s a Hairy Situation.
Either Lean on Me or 3am conversation I don’t remember: Tommy did something. He did something bad” Tubbo admitted. I nodded to show the young man I was listening to, “Okay,” I prompted. “Tommy was messing around and he accidentally set George’s house on fire.” My eyes widened at Tubbo’s words. “His new house?” I asked in disbelief. Tubbo nodded, staring into his cup. “Dream is pissed.” He continued. “He gave me an ultimatum. He said that either we go to war or…” Tubbo’s words died on his tongue. “Or what?” I asked, attempting to gently prompt the boy. “What’s the other option Tubbo?” “Or exile Tommy.” His words hit me like a ton of bricks.
Missing You: This fic was almost titled “Radio silence” and was almost irl and was about the day that he got that prank pulled on him where everyone in his Discord was muted and not talking to him. And I almost wrote it so you’re in that call and you are participating in the prank and he just guilt trips you so hard that you unmute and are like “I’m so sorry!” 
Better Than a Dedicated Chicken was almost titled “A Funtime Festival”. But then I was like, ‘I hate that. Since it’s a sequel I want to keep a theme… Maybe something about dedication.’ and thus this was born. 
Faking Happy- I almost left it on the sad ending where Sam flies away using his trident and you collapse and sob by yourself in the rain. And then I added more to it because I was sad. 
Protect You was almost titled “Looking out for you” but I thought that might be too clunky and so I shorten it and stuff.
Wither or Not almost ended without the whole ‘techno goes to your house to comfort you’ scene at the end and almost ended in angst, but I was too sad to do that because I knew the next Techno piece I was writing was going to end in angst. 
Not Your Fault almost was going to be a different story completely than what it became. I thought a lot about how to do it but the ways I wanted to write it and the way the anon who requested it probably wanted it but I couldn’t make the prompts fit well in the way I wanted to write it. I thought about having you be on a bridge drinking alone because you had to exile your brothers and Schlatt approaches you there and you’re like “leave me alone. I hate you” and he’s like “no you don’t” and it’s a bit angsty, but then I couldn’t figure out how to fit “I had to see you again in that”. And then I thought about having him exile you and come and see you with a “I had to see you again” but then he would know where pogtopia is and we can’t have that. So then I thought maybe you’d visit him before he gets killed but then I couldn’t figure out how to fit the prompts that way either. So I finally settled on what it became. 
Chat’s a Snitch was almost titled “My New Boyfriend’s a Songwriter” and instead of being in established relationship, him seeing you sing his song would be how you two meet and he would fall in love with you and write you a song, but then that wouldn’t have really been what the request was and I didn’t want to deviate that much from the request and I think I was feeling a bit lazy that day so I wrote what it is. 
Defending Family was another one I had a hard time coming up with a cool and clever title for. At one point I considered titling it “i will physically fight you”
Crossed Lines was almost called “Hold tight” because I had this idea that maybe when Dream kidnapped you he put you somewhere high and at once point you dangle over the edge, about to fall and so they scream ‘hold tight’ and yeah. I decided not to though because I wasn’t sure how I would go about putting the reader there and getting them down. But once I wrote it due to the amount of times I said “that’s crossing a line” I decided to title it crossed lines. I think this piece is actually one of my least favorites because I’m not sure if I liked how it turned out but idk man. 
Totem Troubles was almost called “To Hell and Back” because in the request they wanted me to include hints of the story of Orpheus and Euridice but when I was unable to do that, I had to come up with a new title and I really had a hard time with that. 
The Next Step was almost called “Come Live with Me” because I loved the musical ‘Hadestown’. At first I wanted that particular imagine to have more Techno/reader scenes, but then I had a hard time figuring out how to bring up the things and then it felt too short. Then I was like “What if he just talks to Phil about it” and boom it was written. I’m still a huge musical nerd so I titled it “The Next Step” because in a Beetlejuice song two of the main characters are thinking of making a huge step in their relationship and that line is repeated over and over so I stole it…. :). Also for this one I had to literally just take a step back and write out a full ass summary because I was having really really bad writer’s block because I had no idea what I was doing. Unfortunately I don’t have that, I wish I did because it was really funny because it was a summary of the story but it was like “And so Philza’s like bro. Dude. Just tell them” and then Techno’s like “No dad. Stay out of my business” and Philza’s like “Bro. Look around at your house. You love them” 
Warming Up didn’t become the title of that piece until the very end. When I read requests I always give them a ‘working title’ that may or may no become the real title when they’re finished and ready to be posted. This one however had a title that was just a joke for myself. It was titled “The Weasel” because Y/N was weaseling her way into Techno’s home and then later his heart. 
Calling Philza Dad Drabble: When you greet him though, you always greet him with a hug usually calling out from the door way, “Dad! I’m home!” Very cheesy like. And he comes around the corner and you two hug. And then after you hug, you are like “I missed you!!!” to Phil. And Phil touches his heart and is like, “That’s so nice to hear. 
So you usually come over everyday. Everyday when you come over, you always shout out, “Dad! I’m home!” And he rushes out but there are days you don’t and so the next time you d
There was a time though that you had to go out of town for like a week and so you didn’t come over at all and both Techno and Philza found themselves missing you. So the day comes where you get home and you come barreling in the door. You can see Philza in the kitchen cooking something and he quickly turns to the door in shock. You simply grin at him and shout, “DAD! I’M HOME!!!” And he immediately rushed out of the kitchen and pulls you into a great big, warm hug which you instantly returned. “I missed you so so so much!” You announced as you squeeze him tightly. 
Warming up working description: Y/N is dying in the snow and Philza’s like “We gotta save them!” and Techno’s like “Why is that our problem?” but helps anyway and then falls in love with Y/N…. Ya know, cliches and shit
I hope you enjoyed reading this monstrosity! Would this be something you guys are interested in seeing? Like a behind the scenes version of my writing. Like I save things like this when I write them and when I have a good chuck I post them? Up to you guys, let me know!
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rainofaugustsith · 4 years
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KOTFE/ET Headcanons
Thank you so much for the tag @thehighground! This was such a fun and interesting one! Tagging, um, @tishinada @soulparticle @dreamy04 @verbose-vespertine @levelofdepth and anyone else who wants to do this. NO PRESSURE! Spoilers for KOTFE and KOTET, as well as the traitor arc and Onslaught. 
1. Starting with basics. Who is your Outlander (which class, what their aligment)? How did they end up being frozen in carbonite for 5 years? Why did you make them the Outlander?:   My Sith Warrior, Viridana Dragoi (Vengeance Juggernaut) is my Outlander. That was a simple choice for me - Viri is my main, my alter ego in the game, and she seemed to fit so well. Viri's alignment is a tough one. She absolutely embraces the Dark Side and absolutely will kill her enemies. She makes LS decisions a lot too, though, and she has a moral code of her own. For example Viri killed Senya and Arcann without thinking twice, but she would not allow Kaliyo to blow up the Spire and kill civilians and she talked Broonmark into letting the senator live (he lived too, which is a special thing for SWs). Viri has a very strong aversion to killing civilians, rank and file soldiers,  and animals, and would really rather negotiate with you than kill you, unless you have crossed her in a way she can't excuse.   Viri landed in carbonite exactly as the game describes - she was part of Marr's coalition. When Marr's ship broke up, it was swallowed by an Eternal Fleet ship. Viri and Marr were gassed, and later woke up in prison wearing Force-suppressing cuffs. They were taken to Valkorion, where Marr was killed, Viri killed Valkorion, and Arcann framed her and threw her into carbonite.   One difference from the game is that Viri refused to speak the entire time. She did not say a word to Arcann or Valkorion from the time she woke up to the time she was frozen in carbonite. She just screamed once when she was being frozen.  
2. Now, to the rest of classes. What happens to them during KotFE/ET? Did they know the Outlander? Were they allies, enemies, family? Do they join the Alliance or have something else to do? Do they play a major or a minor role in the story? Spare no detail (if you wish, of course):   Sith Inquisitor: My canon SI, Suvia (Darth Nox) was also part of Darth Marr's coalition. Her ships were destroyed by the Eternal Fleet and she was placed into carbonite. She was a trophy on the wall in the Zakuulan palace for seven years. Only the presence of her remaining ghost kept her alive. Viri and her Alliance searched desperately for Suvia, but only found her by accident, after the fall of Zakuul. Once they found her, they traveled to several planets to gather ingredients for an antidote to carbonite poisoning and gave her medical assistance and care after she was thawed.     Suvia is now the head of Force Lore and the Odessen Force libraries and archives. She is a very good friend to Viri and Lana, and she was thrilled to be reunited with other good friends: Talos Drellik and Xalek. Suvia plays a major part in Viri's story and is a close, unshakable ally. She is currently romantically involved with Jaesa Wilsaam.   Suvia did know Viri before KOTFE - they were Dark Council allies, and they also worked closely on both the Yavin 4 coalition and the fight against Vitiate on Ziost.   My Darth Imperius, Jia, did not know Viri and did not follow the SI story. She worked as a saber trainer on Korriban. When Zakuul attacked, she was there. She and Darth Hexid helped each other dig out of the rubble and became allies, fighting and surviving together. They joined the Alliance after KOTET and now work with Viri as friends.   My Darth Occlus, Shasi, is much younger. She did not follow the SI story either. She was still on Korriban while Viri was the Wrath. Viri meets her during the attack on Ossus, and Shasi asks to return to Odessen with her and join the Alliance.   Bounty Hunter: Taran Walrez continued her work as a bounty hunter up through KOTET. She was an ally of Lana's during the carbonite years. Her wife saved Lana's hand after she was injured in a very bad fight with a Zakuulan walker, and they pointed Lana toward Asylum. Taran remained in contact afterward.   When Theron Shan betrayed the Alliance, Viri took out a bounty on him, and she hired the very best- Taran - to take it. Taran and Viri tracked Theron to Copero, but Taran was badly injured in the battle. She has retired from bounty hunting and now lives on Odessen, serving in an advisor capacity. Her wife, Lucinda, is a genius microsurgeon who works in the Alliance Hospital. Her colleagues Mako and Akaavi now run the Alliance's slicing and intelligence wing. Viri did not know Taran until the Alliance years.   My second BH, Auyrini, did not follow the BH story but is part of the Underworld network at the Alliance.   Imperial Agent: My canon agent, Brynn, chose to keep the Black Codex and erase her information. She thus became a ghost after the class story, wanted nothing more to do with the Empire, Sith or Republic, and vanished into Wild Space with Vector, her husband. She is in Lana's intelligence network, and tipped Lana off to a few clues to Viri's whereabouts, but she has no desire to join the Alliance. She and Vector just want to be left alone and live in peace. Viri has never met or spoken to Brynn.   Jedi Knight: Ror was about one step away from being sent to Belsavis after the class story, so she vanished, taking only T7-O1. She later surfaced as a member of Somminick Timmns' sanctuary for ex-Jedi on Nar Shaddaa and joined the Alliance. Ror is very much a Sith now. She is slated to play a major part in the Tenebrae Plague storyline. Viri does not trust Scourge and Kira and will not merge her minds with them - but Ror will. Ror also feels that she owes it to Satele Shan to try to save her; Satele was the only person who kept her out of prison. Viri meets Ror when she joins the Alliance. They're not friends yet, but they have a mutual respect.   Jedi Consular: Jenari also left the Jedi and joined Somminick Timmns' ex-Jedi sanctuary. She has found her way to Odessen, where she works with Suvia Kallig on Force lore. She is later joined there by Nadia and Felix. Jenari's sister is Shasi, my Darth Occlus mentioned above. The siblings have never met, but on Odessen, they are slated to finally find each other. Viri meets Jenari when she joins the Alliance.
  Smuggler: My canon smuggler, Marlena, is still out there smuggling, and is one of Hylo's underworld contacts - but she isn't part of the Alliance and prefers to just keep running her empire. Viri does not know Marlena.   My second non-canon smuggler, Amedria, is also out there smuggling and is in Hylo's Rolodex, but has no other contact with the Alliance.   Trooper: After seeing all of the things Garza did, including the Eclipse Squad, my trooper Keilla was done. She testified against Garza in front of the Galactic Senate, and then she peaced out. She and her friend Paxton Rall moved to the Tion Hegemony. She also helped her ex-girlfriend, Jaxo, move to the Hegemony to try to heal from her trauma. Keilla works in security there, but she is determined never to return to Imperial, Hutt OR Republic space and never to fight in another war. When the Alliance started, Bey'wan Aygo, Aric Jorgan and Rusk all tried to get her to reconsider. She would not. Keilla occasionally provides advice from afar, but she will not even set foot outside the Hegemony.
Viri does know Keilla and has spoken to her via holo many times to coordinate THORN activity, but they only met during the Alliance years. When Viri's Alliance sends help with THORN to fight the rakghoul plague on Kaon, Keilla helps orchestrate it. She also helps take in ex-Jedi who are fleeing from Task Force Nova, so she is slated to have a large part in the story eventually.   3. What about companions? Do you follow their in-game story or have headcanons for them? Did they stay with your non-Outlander characters or not? Why?:
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.   Viri: Vette, Pierce and Broonmark were recovered as per the game story. Jaesa - who is neither the LS nor the DS but something in the middle - was discovered in an ancient Sith trap on Yavin 4 after KOTET. She rejoined the Alliance at that time. Malavai Quinn was exiled and thrown in jail after the Quinncident in the class story, and he was smart enough to know that he should not go anywhere around Viri ever again. He did NOT serve as Acina's emissary on Iokath. Instead, Rezinal Orzik from the Black Talon flashpoint did.   For my non-Outlanders:   Jedi Knight: Ror ran away from all her companions, except T7-O1, after the class story. And T7 eventually needed to go fight Zakuul. So she lost contact with them, and T7-O1, Kira, Scourge and Rusk joined the Alliance as per the in-game story. Doc was never part of my Jedi Knight's crew, as Ror, Kira and T7-O1 took a united front and insisted that they would not let him on the ship. He was left on Balmorra and had nothing else to do with my Jedi Knight or her crew. So he's not there at all, and whatever happened to him, Ror neither knows nor cares.  Jedi Consular: Jenari also ended up parting ways from her crew due to the war with Zakuul. She has been reunited with three of them on Odessen. Qyzen joined the Alliance Commander as per the game. Felix and Nadia were both rescued during various missions and brought back to Odessen. Zenith declined to join Jenari’s crew on Balmorra. He worked with her but was angry she would not alter the governor’s brain to place the new government in power, and is also angry that she shows sympathy to Sith, so he didn’t feel he belonged in her crew.    Trooper: Keilla left all her companions after the class story and never came back. Viri has Aric Jorgan and Yuun in her Alliance, and they joined as the story dictated.   Smuggler: Marlena is out in space with her crew. She's married to Risha. Bowdaar also remained with her. They never left her and thus have never been part of Viri's Alliance. Guss decided to eventually try being a Jedi again, in part because he was worried that the Eternal Empire would sense his Force sensitivity and kill him, and he wanted to be able to defend himself. Corso left Marlena’s crew during the class story after they had taken down with Skavak. He wanted to return to protect Ord Mantell and Marlena let him go.  Akaavi also left the crew after she met Mako and fell ln love. She joined my bounty hunter’s crew to work with her and Mako.     Sith Inquistor: Suvia was frozen in carbonite, so all of her companions dispersed. Ashara looked for her for years, hiring a slicer named Ikina to help her. It was unsuccessful - Suvia was a trophy in the Zakuulan palace and there was no way to track or find her. Ashara and Ikina finally fell in love, married and settled down on Voss, where they run a tea house and raise their daughter.   Andronikos was picked up raiding Alliance ships, as the game story says, and was brought back to Odessen. Talos joined the Alliance as the game story dictates. So did Xalek. Khem Val is slated to be rediscovered on Ossus, as he is in the game, and return to Suvia on Odessen.   Bounty Hunter: Mako has never left her crew and remains her right-hand help. Skadge has never been a part of her crew, as Mako and Taran killed him on Belsavis. Torian left early on after the death of Mandalore to help the Mandalorians and joined the Alliance as per the game. Blizz left temporarily to fight in the Alliance, and he's gone back and forth between Odessen and Taran's ship. Gault left, as per the game story, to hook up with Hylo.   Imperial Agent: My Imperial Agent Brynn became a ghost at the end of her class story. She and Vector erased their tracks and vanished together. They also did their companions the courtesy of erasing their tracks, too. Kaliyo went off to grift from others; Scorpio became the Lady of Sorrows, Lokin went to his safehouse and Raina Temple returned to the Chiss. Kaliyo, Lokin, Raina and SCORPIO all joined the Alliance (and in SCORPIO's case, betrayed it) as described in the game.   4. If applicable: how your characters react if the Alliance joins the opposite faction on Iokath and after that? For example: how do Sith characters feel about joining the Republic? Will they stay or leave (if it’s too spoiler-ish, then feel free to skip this): Viri has chosen to keep her Alliance independent while allying with the Empire. The Republic characters who are with her (Ror and Jenari, my Jedi Knight and Consular) are both ex-Jedi so they're totally fine with that. My two smugglers, Marlena and Amedria, don't particularly care about the Republic and just want to be paid, so they will work with the Alliance regardless of who they support.
However, a few of the Republic companions, such as Rusk and Aric Jorgan, are eventually going to bow out and retire, just like Bey'wan Aygo, because they can't fight the Republic and they can't fight Viri either.   5. If applicable: if your Commander decides to be a saboteur, would they tell anyone (PC or companions)? Why/why not?: This doesn't apply to Viri. In AU, all of my Imperials are loyalists and all my Republic toons are saboteurs. They have chosen to only tell Lana with one exception - Jenari, my JC, would tell Nadia and Felix.   6. How would your characters react if one of their companions is exiled or dead because of Outlander’s choices? For example: sith warrior’s reaction if Commander doesn’t save Vette?:   The three that this applies to are Skadge, SCORPIO and Torian.   Viri killed SCORPIO because after all that betrayal and subterfuge, there was no way in the galaxy that she would have sat back and let SCORPIO merge with a super-powerful deadly droid planet. SCORPIO's assertion that she wouldn't bother them again meant nothing because she could not be trusted. Brynn, my IA, has no idea what went on, but she would have been indifferent to SCORPIO's death. She surely knew what SCORPIO was capable of, and would have killed her too under the same circumstances.   Viri tried desperately to reach Torian, and sent Pierce and a team to try to save him. They couldn't reach Torian. Taran was saddened to learn of his death, but she also knew that Viri did not just shrug and walk away from him. She also knows that Vette is Viri's adopted sister. She can't fault Viri even a little for saving her sister first.   Viri killed Skadge in the game but headcanonically, she never even met him. Taran killed him on Belsavis during the class story- she sure as hell wasn't going to let him on her crew or her ship. But if Viri had killed him, Taran's reaction would have been a big thumbs-up.
7. If you have something written about anything from the above (bc I know some people do), share the links to your works (again, if you feel like it)!: Oh, here we go! A lot of the companion returns/etc. are addressed in the post-KOTET fanfic The Eternal Wrath: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14255019 Stories set during KOTFE: https://archiveofourown.org/series/999348 Stories set during KOTET: https://archiveofourown.org/series/999342
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evien-stark · 4 years
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✧I Need You✧ Chapter 144
[Dear readers there’s a couple of trigger warnings for this chapter which include a suicide attempt, physical violence, wounds involving blood and burning, and people being ordered to hang themselves. Not in gratuitous detail for any of these things, but still there. Kilgrave territory is the worst. Please be safe and happy!] It was intensely hard to focus on work and Tony at the same time. Mostly because all you wanted to do was sit by Tony’s bedside. Talk to him. Comfort him. Wish none of this was happening. But thankfully after a couple of hours the nurses came in and gave him something for his fresh wave of pain as the anesthetic was completely wearing off. That knocked him back into woozy and drifting territory, so that made it easier to make a few calls. Set some things up. 
When Happy appeared in the doorway, Tony was completely down for the count. It didn’t feel right taking off. Leaving him here without a word. Even now you could still feel that simmering worry he was holding onto. Worried for you. Worried how this was going to end. What lengths you would go to to force that hand. Even unconscious, he was still worrying. 
But your mind was made up. And even still waiting for the next ping on the map, you had to go clean up. A small team from Damage Control was going to meet you at the defunct CDC facility. You’d wanted Maria to go but she was apparently on leave helping Coulson with something- a conversation for a later date. It was obvious that she probably didn’t really work for you, and was just biding her time in the position until she could branch to something more meaningful to her. Probably something with Fury, you wouldn’t doubt. Whenever that moment came. 
Either way. There was no use dwelling on it. Happy was a little hesitant as he waited by the door, cat carrier in hand. You had to physically invite him in with a gentle pull of his arm. Already he wanted to leave, it was easy to sense that. So you had to force him to stay. “I have to go.” Stated as calmly as possible as you took the carrier from him, knelt down, and opened the door to allow Dvahli out. 
The second she padded onto the floor you picked her up in your arms, crushing her close without hurting her. Hoping she understood how sorry you were for the mess. For the loud sounds. The terrors. And for disappearing immediately after all of it. Maybe somewhere in her she understood. She started purring up a storm. But maybe that was also her just shaking with the need for security and love after what had just happened. 
As you stood up and set her on Tony’s bed, Happy shuffled nervously. “Sure. I’ll stay. How long has he been out for?” Asking simpler questions probably in an attempt to delay you from going somewhere neither of you wanted you to go. 
“Only a little while. He’s been in and out. He’s also fine. He’ll make a full recovery.” Not fine just yet but he’d get there- and also probably argue that he was. Even now. But the point of saying it was to calm Happy so that he’d stay in the room, not just guard the door. And hopefully have a talk when Tony woke back up. Because they desperately needed to. This could not go unchecked. 
“Glad to hear it.” A hot flash of self-made disappointment spiked through him, along with a heavy fall of gloom. Things he was quick to shove aside. “Where are you going?” 
“I have to clean up the recent mess Kilgrave made.” There was no need to mention after that you’d have to go on the hunt. To end this.
Happy stopped you at the door, just as you reached to open it. His hand covered yours and his gaze was serious. “When’s the last time you slept?” 
The question surprised you, almost as much as that touch did, but as you lifted your hand you understood why. And then suddenly wondered how long your hands had been shaking for. “I honestly don’t know.” Truly. You truly could not remember the last time you laid down in a bed and closed your eyes for a little bit. Two days? Three? 
Adrenaline, fear, and responsibility were the only things powering you now. ...and maybe a little bit of an animalistic need for revenge. But you were scared to admit that even to yourself for more than a couple of seconds. Happy frowned. “Can this wait? Can you just take a few hours?” 
Already you were shaking your head. “No.” Firm. Not needing to give him an explanation as to why. You had to go to work. You had to keep moving. Otherwise this was going to get further and further away from you. 
In that moment, as he looked at you, he just seemed so… sad. Sad for you. What life had become. And perhaps sad over his lack of control, his inability to do anything to help you. He could no longer whisk you away and keep you safe inside a house. How long ago that lifetime was. “Just- be careful, okay? And come back. Soon.” He couldn’t do anything else but serve these platitudes. 
“As soon as I can.” This at least you could promise. You wanted this to be over, for sure. 
All you had to do was make it happen. 
                                                                 --- 
Despite not being able to sleep you did head home for a quick shower and to just… take in the place. Happy had done his best in trying to clean up, by picking up overturned furniture and… wiping blood spatters off the wall and floors- ...it was something, but not enough. Though that wasn’t his fault. There was just a lingering hopelessness that seemed to permeate everything. It was hard to ignore as you took the quickest shower of your life and changed clothes. 
Eager to not only get out of there but to be on your way to hopefully closing the rest of this out. It seemed premature to hope for that but… you were foolish, you supposed. It was hard not to hope. 
Damage Control had blocked off press from the building and had already begun cleanup by the time you got inside. The room looked so much different, considering you’d only been away from it for what- you only just realized your sense of time had slipped. You really had no idea. Better not to dwell on it.
 One of the panels of Kilgrave’s cells had been shot out, broken glass and dirty water were all over the floor. Not to mention puddles of blood on the floor of the cell, as you stepped closer. A pair of scissors had been barred off with an evidence marker. 
There was a body bag on the floor near the upturned desk. The computer was trashed- but the camera on its tripod still stood. Going over closer you checked the tape. One of the agents came over. “We watched it back. It’s pretty clear what happened.” 
“Mum, for every year that you left me alone, stab yourself.” Kilgrave’s voice was so eerily calm as he commanded her. You had to turn your head down. No use in watching it- in watching him murder another person. The whole room erupted into panic on the tape. Jessica tried to push the shock button- it failed- she went in to get them- Trish shot the glass out- 
God what a fucking mess. If you’d just stayed… if you’d only just stayed here… the body in that bag so close to your feet would be alive. Maybe Kilgrave would be dead. Maybe this would all be over by now. But at the cost of Tony’s life? 
...that was it, wasn’t it? That was the conclusion that had been drawn here. You’d picked Tony’s life over someone else’s. There had been no way for you to know that Jessica would have gone to these lengths, that this would have fallen apart this way- but if you’d just stayed in that room- if you’d just finished it a little sooner… 
“I want-” Your voice was wobbly as it came out, and you cleared your throat to stand a little sturdier. “Hold all evidence right now under A-files. We’ll hand over to the police when we’re finished. We have an enhanced running around, and nothing is to be released to the public until we bring him in.” 
The agent gave you a small nod. “Yes, ma’am.” 
“Anything else for me?” You needed to get on the move. This helped you paint a clearer picture of the severity of the situation, but really… you hadn’t needed to come down here to see all this. 
“The police were called to Wendy Ross-Hogarth’s apartment a couple hours ago. From the chatter we pulled, it seemed like she’d been killed by Pamela Romeit- self defense. Wendy was attacking Jeri Hogarth.” 
What a fucking mess. There was your ping on Jeri. Okay. So… Jessica apparently thought Jeri had something to do with Kilgrave’s release. So Jeri had brought Kilgrave somewhere. Kilgrave turned on her, probably commanded Wendy to attack her- for what reason? There were too many blanks- but. They’d been caught. Pam- whoever that was- Jeri’s life was also a fucking mess. At least the two of you had that in common. Though maybe not in the same way. And you didn’t have enough time or energy to spare pulling the threads together of who did what or why or who was important to Jeri in what way. 
No use thinking about it now. You just nodded weakly. “Okay. Any mention of a male on the premises?” You doubted it. The situation over there had spiraled into chaos. He’d turned on Jeri, even if she’d brought him there for whatever reason. He was definitely not there anymore. But you still had to ask. 
“No, ma’am.” At least you were prepared for this disappointment. 
There was a sudden commotion in the hallway. Just about every agent in the room drew their guns, yet all heads turned your way to look for direction. On edge as you were, you double tapped the Reactor and led the small squad outside. Someone behind you started giving orders. “Hands up! Now!” 
Two men you’d never seen before- no, scratch that. “You were outside Jessica’s house.” The same tall man- blond you could see now in proper lighting- projecting some very dangerously angry energy. The other man you’d never seen before. An older gentleman, graying hair, grizzled- 
As you inspected him he started speaking, “My name is Oscar Clemons. I’m a detective with the NYPD, 15th precinct.” On closer inspection he looked pretty hurt. Not that that made you trust him. However, “I came here with Jessica Jones.” 
“Oh.” It was more a breath than anything. “You’re her cop.” The one she’d been trying to get. You held a hand up to signal your agents to lower their guns and then you pointed at the other man. “What’s your name? All I know is that your a friend of Trish’s.” 
“Will Simpson. Where is Trish?” He was avoiding looking at you. Frantically he was looking around. “Trish called me- I need to see her- where is Trish?” 
Nodding to your agent closest, “Cuff him.” 
“Me? Are you out of your fucking mind, lady?” That explosive spark lit up as he gnashed his teeth your way. 
“You brought three men with you to kill Kilgrave the first night I saw you. You’re still hunting him.” This was the only thing that made sense. And he’d only get in the way of what you had to do. 
As two agents approached him he held a gun up. “You can’t just arrest me- you don’t have a charge- you’re not even-” 
“I am an official member of the Avengers and this entire debacle is now under our jurisdiction.” Projecting as much authority as you possibly could. “We’re dealing with an enhanced. That falls into our territory.” 
Will scoffed. “Make that two.” Said about as swiftly as the reel back of his arm to punch one of your DC agents right back into a wall. Would this ever fucking end? 
Now that he’d cleared himself you held both hands up to get a repulsor blast off, sending him straight down the corridor and through the wall. With a quick lift of your jets you flew the rest of the way down to meet him, yanking him so that you could wheel him around onto his back and smash him onto the ground. “That’s assault with a deadly weapon.” Pinning both his wrists in one hand and putting your other one between his shoulder blades to keep him down. Even with his struggling. 
He had a little extra strength, but he was no Jessica Jones. No Captain America. That was for sure. An agent came to a running stop, uncapping a syringe and injecting it into the side of Will’s neck. His raging and screaming died down in a matter of seconds. Turning him over onto his side, the agent gave him a patdown. You were almost surprised at the sudden rattling of not one but three pill bottles behind held up your way. “Ma’am.” 
You took hold of them, examining the clear bottles. No labels. Just red, white, and blue pills. Nothing like you’d ever seen. And… probably not good news. Did this trail ever fucking end? Jessica Jones’ world was just… too full. You shook your head. “Bag them and have them brought to the labs.” 
“And this guy?” 
“Put him in our holding cell.” He’d have to be questioned. And maybe charged. It would entirely depend on how you felt once he came to. Or what you were dealing with. Going over to the agent he’d slammed against the wall, you knelt down. “You alright?” 
She held a hand to her head, bleeding from her temple, but god bless her, “I’m okay, ma’am. Sorry.” 
“Don’t be sorry. Just go get checked out. You’re done for the day. For as long as you need.” It wasn’t easy. Doing this work. Being this close to danger almost constantly. 
It seemed like she wanted to fight but she just wilted. “Yes, ma’am. Thank you, ma’am.” Her superior officer had relieved her. There was no fighting against that.
Standing up you eyed down Clemons. “You got something for me too?” Tired as you asked.
He held one hand up- and you noted he was cradling his other bandaged one to his chest. “No. I’ll be glad to wash my hands of all this. This case belongs with your people.” 
“You were here. When Kilgrave escaped.” Explained why he was still lingering around. Why he was surprised to see your people here. And why he was hurt. 
“I was. Yes.” At least he was forthcoming. Any more interference and you really might have just collapsed. Or imploded. Not sure yet which. When you waited in silence for him to expand he just sighed. “Jessica took off with his father. They want to make a vaccine.” 
“Vaccine?” ...for Kilgrave? To nullify his powers? Was that possible? 
“Yeah. They think it’ll stop the guy. I don’t know about all that. I just know that I witnessed a murder. And have been made to realize I’ve been dragging my feet. But. Now that you’re here…” 
You couldn’t help the long sigh that escaped you. “Yeah. I’m here now.” A better debrief had to be had, but your phone started ringing. Probably not a good sign in all of this. Turning away from him with a finger held up, panic touched up your chest as you saw it was a number associated with Hope Shlottman. “Hello?” 
Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised you anymore, to hear Kilgrave’s voice on the other end of your phone. “Puppy. I think we have a lot we still need to talk about, don’t you?” 
“If you hurt that girl-” 
“That’s the thing of it, puppy. I’m trying to show you I’m not such an irredeemable monster. I’ve released Hope. For you. And for Jessica. It was such a big sticking point for the both of you and now we can be done with it. Does that make me less worthy of cold-blooded murder, I wonder?” 
You allowed yourself to freeze over, just to avoid the other feelings trying to crawl through you. “Why don’t you tell me where you are. And we’ll talk about it.” 
He chuckled. “So like you. But I’m feeling very generous. Tell you what. You can join us for dinner. You and Jessica both. She knows where I am. Pity she didn’t invite you like I asked. Had a feeling she wouldn’t.” His delighted laughter continued until the line cut. 
Jessica would not answer her phone right now, of this you were sure. She hadn’t wanted Trish to contact you, either. She no longer wanted you involved. But you had to figure out where she was- you had to get her to talk to you- your brain started scrambling. The clock was ticking. Waving your hand at the gaggle of agents still taking statements and cleaning up you started making quick commands, “I need a squad deployed immediately-” 
“Where to, ma’am? What level of force are we dealing with?” 
“The threat level is high- mind control- this is a DNE until my signal-” You started texting Jessica. Eventually, quickly, settling on: Kilgrave just asked me to come to dinner. Where is he? Where are you? 
You had to ignore the stares of everyone in the hallway, waiting for you to give an answer while you stared at your phone. You just had to hope. Hope she was figuring out going alone was not in anyone’s best interest- 
And, finally, you were rewarded with an answer: 
Niku. 
That was it. Just that one word. So you rolled your arm up. “I need a squad directed at the restaurant Niku. Clean up team on backup.” The strong answer drowned out underneath the boost of your jets as you jumped down the stairwell again and took off. This was the second time you’d flown this particular coop with just as much urgency. LUNA already lit up a path for you. Niku was located in the Nolita- and it took you too long to get there. 
You were sweating in your suit. Drenched in fear. You’d make it there before your agents would but even then you felt like that still wouldn’t be enough. The restaurant was not as empty as you thought as you came in for a landing. But it was the way the heat signatures were positioned that brought you on a crash course through the back wall of the restaurant. 
Four people were standing on top of the bar, nooses around their neck. Kilgrave was within ten feet of you- obtainable. You could end him now- he had an older man in a half hug- his father you barely recognized from the tape. Jessica was standing on the other end of the table- 
And Hope- 
Hope had just shoved the broken stem of a wine glass into her neck and promptly yanked it back out, blood splashing everywhere as her knees gave out. Kilgrave lit up in terror- you were here and you could end this. “STEP FORWARD!” 
Your mind started a dizzying rush. Kilgrave was running. Running away with his father. Hope was bleeding out. The people on the bar stepped off and started struggling. And as you half turned, mind made up to go after him and finish this, Jessica shouted, “If you let her die you’re just as much of a monster as he is!” 
How? How had it come to this? How did Jessica Jones have any right to ask you to save one life over the lives of hundreds of others? 
Yet there you were. Dropping to an immediate kneel. Commanded by her guilt almost as much the same as when Kilgrave had yanked you around by your proverbial leash. “LUNA what are my options here?” Trembling as you held her in your arms, pressing your hand over her neck. She was gurgling. 
“She’s losing too much blood. We can heat up the repulsor plate without launching to cauterize the wound-” “Just do it.” Resigned to this. To doing what you had to do. Hope’s arms reached up, wildly trying to hold on to anything. “Keep still- hold on-” Hearing the charge of the repulsor. 
“We’re at sustainable temperature, ma’am!” 
The sizzle of flesh and her screams were probably branded somewhere inside of your brain forever. But you sat through them. Sat through her struggles. Through welding her skin shut so she wouldn’t bleed out and die. Because that’s what you’d been told to do. 
You’d been ordered to save Hope Shlottman instead of going to end Kilgrave. 
She passed out a few seconds in. About around the same time Jessica had gotten everyone down from hanging, by yanking the pipe they were tied to and letting them slide off onto the floor. Damage Control erupted on the scene as you sat there, a little empty. Their guns were drawn. They were barking orders. Hands up. Back away. And then… 
“Ma’am.” Kilgrave had taken his father. Kilgrave had escaped. Tony was in a hospital bed. A woman was in a body bag in a messy room. What was it all for? “Ma’am?” Someone put their hand on your shoulder. 
It was a weak snap to, but you managed. “Take her- she needs medical attention. Immediately. Take her to our wing of the hospital.” 
“Ma’am, is the enhanced still on the property?” 
You looked up. Jessica was holding to herself tightly, arms crossed, staring back at you. Her heavy guilt might have made this okay. But there was just a small light of triumph. So you couldn’t help the glare when you answered, “No. He’s not.”
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