#lol people are so surprised that im not in my last year of high school

[nicodrawings]

WOWWOWOWOWOWOA.. YOU ARE 26???....😨...YOU ARE...26???? (LMFAO, I SWEAR, I THOUGHT YOU WERE 18)

Wow…nice to know that I get this comment online and IRL…

#they’re like ‘when do you start college? #and I’m like #I graduated years ago #lol people are so surprised that im not in my last year of high school

[rassicas]

hi guys! im back. i went tokyo for a few days. got back at 7 this morning after taking an overnight 7 hour bus ride.... that i did not sleep on bc i cant sleep in moving vehicles. this will be something closer to a proper blog post i guess. splatoon related convention? experience below

i've kept my mouth shut about my plans to go because its not as well known on the english side of the fanbase and i didnt wanna make people too jealous sorry LOL , but i went to splaket 22! it's an unofficial, splatoon-only doujinshi market/artists alley. this was my first convention-sort-of event ive been to since i was... in high school. i also dont really get to meet many other hardcore splatoon fans irl. i was nervous about it because i don't know a whole lot of people on the JP side nor do i have a lot of confidence in my japanese speaking/listening, but in the end it was SUPER fun. i wish i couldve talked a bit more to the artists i did encounter to comment on what i liked about their works but. Skill Issue very few non-japanese people at this event of course but one of the only english speakers i saw i called out to bc they were wearing a shirt with this exact image printed on it no video and no photos outside of designated areas were allowed so i got like. zero pics of my own. but there was a lot of cosplayers i saw! oh and here's the Loot Haul. a few doujin, a clear file, stickers, microfiber cloth and a keychain. im surprised at how little i got, i think i shouldve gone a bit crazier with it

the one with Tao Blu and oonie in the top left (by sachikazerick) I came across by chance and bought because it was cute, featured splatband characters, and also because it all in some familiar inkling language (the last point of which i told the artist as i was buying) when i finally got home and saw the back credits...

SMALL FUCKIN WORLD LOL (i tweeted at the artist afterwards to let him know i came by the table and to thank him for using me and my friend's inkling language fonts!) though truly, i think ardnin deserved the credit more rather than me since he made most of those fonts! ah well, still cool to see more and more fan works using deciphered inkling language. top middle book is a story with some salmonid characters that i havent read yet but im looking forward to it, the art is lovely. top right one was the first thing i bought. the artist is rk_splaworks, whose art i love, and we've been mutuals for a few years and have talked a bit here and there! i was so fucking nervous to meet them in person since my japanese sucks LMAO but they were happy to meet me too and we got a selfie together yippy <3 also havent read their doujin Yet since ill have to rub all my brain cells together and huddle over the dictionary, but i want their oc lore

ok that's all i'll say, next splaket is...june 22. very soon....im already thinking ill. go again. yknow. while im still in japan and all that. i guess ill have to study harder on my jp in the meantime teehee ...i doubt it, but in the off chance anyone following me is going to the next splaket in june lemme know!

#much of this is me cross posting my tweets from the past few days and then some #rassicas speaks #ive forgotten to make a tag for my non-ask original posts so i guess thatll be it #anyway ill get to work on translating that famitsu interview teehee

[iheartchv]

Hi! I found your blog recently and your writing is amazing. Is it alright if I request a COD matchup, if you’re still doing those?

I’m 5’0, skinny (97 lbs) but also somewhat muscular (from weightlifting), have brunette hair that’s in a bob cut and gray eyes with bad dark circles :’D. I wear dark glasses and usually oversized flannels, plus funky rings (snake, tree branch, and mouse) and a cat necklace.

I might be an INFJ? My enneagram type is 5 and my socionics type is ILI. I’m very introverted (basically a hermit lol) and am very shy and polite around people I’m not close to. But once I’m feeling comfortable I’m very sarcastic and talkative—more than willing to ramble about whatever topic I find interesting. I gesture with my hands A LOT. Some may describe me as a “gremlin.” I love music (all sorts of genres), animals (my two pet cats are basically my children), audiobooks, video games, outer space (which is what pushed me into becoming a physics student), and psychological and surrealist horror.

Thank you!! <3

🤔 I match you with...

Alex Keller

Other possible matches: Captain John Price

Alex would be matched with you

(( im running out of scenarios; bear with me ;;v;; ))

You and Alex are early/late childhood friends

You had dated in high school but it didn't last...

When he decided to join the military you tried to talk him out of it

"You could get killed"

"But if no one will stand up to protect our country, who will?"

You looked down to stare at the ground

Even though you had broken up with him you still felt love for him

"I just don't want to lose you... this isn't like the agreement we made when we first started dating, that we'd still be friends if it didn't work out..."

You could feel tears burn your eyes

Alex felt your sadness and gently tilted your chin up to look at him

"You won't lose me. I'll come back..."

After some heartfelt exchanges you'd make the most of every moment you had with him

When he finally got some time off some years later, he asked around to find you

Imagine his surprise when he sees you making a life for himself

Deep inside he wants that... he wants to be in your life

The flames he felt for you still kindled brightly as the time he dated you

He was still in love with you and wondered if you still felt the same

You had missed him, so much

When you saw him you couldn't help yourself and smiled, hugging him tightly

He hugged you back, his heart feeling whole again

"I told you I'd come back"

Alex was determined to have another chance at love with you

You were the one for him

You were the one who gave him strength all this time

And he loves you, has always loved you

#//thank you ;;v;;❤/ ofc hope you like your match ^v^7~♡ #ask #request #call of duty matchup #cod matchup #match up #matchup #cod mw #cod mw2 #cod mw3 #cod #call of duty modern warfare 3 #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty #cod alex #cod alex keller #call of duty alex keller #call of duty alex #alex keller #alex keller x reader #alex x reader #iheartchv

[justp34chy]

First Meeting

takes place Briars first year of high school lol

     Highschool, A terrible place full of sorrows and stress. I moved to the G4 district not too long ago and have gained a decent amount of popularity since I have, I’ve even had a few girls ask me on dates. Of course I turned them down. I barely knew any of them, I have better things to do anyway. Walking through the halls I was approached by yet another girl, I groaned in my head, mentally preparing for turning down another confession but I'm caught off guard when it never comes. The girl was the president of the photography club and needed student volunteers to be models for a project they were working on. Not too long before that I was asking a teacher to work alone on a project and was reminded to put myself out there and befriend some people. Reluctantly, I agreed to model for the photography club. It wouldn't be my first time modelling afterall, they should feel lucky that I didn’t just turn the other way when I was asked. The girl who’s name I do not remember tells me to join them in the club room at the end of the day. That was not far from now as it was last period. I nod in understanding and resume walking to my next class, not giving her enough time to say anything more.

     Biology, My favourite subject. I’ve always been fascinated with how the human body works. I knew every intricate system and how everything behaved by memory, a morbid little child reading books full of gore and viscera. Naturally I was passing the class with flying colours, I was the teacher's golden child. This class was nothing special, just a period where students could study for an upcoming test next week. I didn't need to study but I did anyway, drawing an intricate diagram of the human skeletal system with labels and everything, patiently waiting for the bell to ring so I could get this photography club activity done and over with. Eventually it does ring and I silently grab my bag from my locker and walk up to the photography club room. I enter the room, great, I'm the first one there. I awkwardly place myself at a desk and wait for the few members the club had to actually show up. No less than five minutes later the first student shows up, some kid named Travis or something dumb like that, he seems confused as to why im here so I don’t think he was filled in on the project. He asked me a question but I didn't answer because the club president entered the room and filled him in. She seemed excited to see that I actually showed up and didn't just bail on her. I sat silently for fifteen minutes until all of the members arrived except one. The club president doesn't wait for that last student, assuming that they aren't coming in today she begins explaining that me and five other volunteers would be assigned to two club members and have to model for them. Mid sentence the door slams open the culprit screaming

     “I'm here! I'm here!” in a panic. The president sighs and welcomes him, ushering him to sit down and explaining the project again just for good measure before assigning the students to volunteers. Turns out I was only assigned to one person as there were an odd number of club members, someone named Ajax. I look around to find who responded to the name and, oh no it’s the late kid, and he’s staring at me with what looks like awe in his eyes. I force myself to walk up to him as he’s just sitting there and looking at me rather than making a move to talk to me for this project. 

     “Hello?” I greet him, snapping him out of his daze with my accent. He clearly didn’t expect me to have a german accent due to his eyes widening in surprise before awkwardly sputtering a greeting. I silently sit down next to him, he has short scruffy black hair and what looks like a patchy beard he's trying to grow out.

     “I like your hair, I've always wanted to grow mine out but my parents won't let me.” Ajax breaks the silence. I fiddled with my hair, I guess it was getting quite long. It wasn't the first time someone pointed out how long it was but this time it felt different somehow.

     “Thanks.” I answer in monotone, he could tell how uninterested I was about being here “why wont your parents let you grow it out?”

     “They say it'll make me look to feminine, but I don't believe them. Someone can look like a man and still have long hair.” I turn my head to look at him with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t worry I don’t think you look like a girl, though I swear I’ve seen a picture of you in a girls magazine before. Aren't you an actual model?” Ajax answers my question before I can even ask it and I feel my face heat up as he mentions that small gig I had for a magazine a few weeks ago. He notices my fluster and says that he's honoured to work with an actual model, though the blush doesn’t dissipate so he switches the topic to how he wants to compose the photos for the project. We had a long conversation about photography. He seems very passionate about it and he's excited to photograph me. I tell him how I want to be portrayed in the photos and elements I do and don't want in them before exchanging numbers and parting our separate ways once the club meeting is over. I don't think I mind participating in this project anymore.

#might make a second version with Ajax pov instead #i think the comparisson would b neat #vtsom #vincent the secret of myers #writing #Briar Sawyer #Ajax Morningstar #writing prompt #vtsom oc

[babymorte]

As someone with asthma I absolutely understand the breathing issues. 😩 Also I think you would be totally cute in oversized clothes. 🩷 But that's because you're totally cute.

I could definitely see that you hold your weight in your butt because of how it jiggles. lol *complimentary*

I would of never guessed you were a size D in bras. Then again I never really knew bra sizes that well. 😅

The lactose intolerance actually doesn't surprise me. lol

You're a BLONDE?! 😳

I tend to turn cherry out in the sun so I get that as well. lol

Your boy is the only person you ever had sex with? Considering how open you are about sex & sexuality that's actually kind of surprising. But still kinda cute! Are you attracted to women or other genders at all?

oh my gosh i haaaaate my lunch so much like they’ve gotten better over the years with proper physical therapy when i was younger but im like a grandma with emphysema with how much i lose my breath 😓 plus sometimes i just forget to breathe cuz im an idiot so that exacerbates my dumb lungs even more and i have to like take giant gasps of air 😅 i hate it so much 😤

no you’re totally right!! like from the front i look like im completely flat assed but turn me around and BAM booty for days 😂 plus because my waist is so teeny it makes it look like a proper peach which i think is super adorable 😅

honestly i still suffer through the intolerance but i always regret it like i had a strawberry birthday cake milkshake last week without a pill and i was sick for two days straight it was freaking AWFUL 😭

i am!! I don’t have any photos of baby blonde kiki but it’s like a super light golden blonde 😅 but it suck’s cuz when my hair grows out because of the contrast with the black i look like im actually balding 😭

oof that sucks so much!! I would be lathering the ever living hell out of myself with spf 10000 if I burned at all 😂 but i also try to just not go out in direct sun for too long because im so paranoid of getting skin cancer 😂

yea well we’ve been together since we were in high school so ive never really had the opportunity and despite my openness ive never been interested in casual sex or like sharing sexual intimacy of any kind unless im very serious about a person 😅 but it also takes a lot for me to be attracted to a person since I don’t really base that sort of attraction off appearances 🤣 I know it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but my reasons are somewhat personal 😂 I mean honestly I don’t think humans in general are only attracted to one gender 🤷🏻‍♀️ I just think it’s a social construct to fit into the christian ideology that was kind of forced on us as a society. like there was even a time when it was okay for people to confess they’re attracted to people of the same gender as them so long as they said ‘no homo’ so they could still be seen as straight 😂 but if im being perfectly honest it’s not really something ive really though about aside from my general view on it since i kind of don’t really pay attention to people 😅

#and like I don’t mean I don’t pay attention to people in a bad way #im just usually in my own little bubble I don’t really have the brain capacity to focus on anyone around me #im definitely more attracted to people on an emotional level than a lhysical one #whether romantic or platonic

[brainrotgobrr]

my opinions on the project sekai redesigns

our kids are growing up and entering a new year in high school, which means that they now have completely new designs because thats how idol gacha rhythm games work!!! woo!! and i have Thoughts

im gonna talk about my opinions on all the redesigns from least to most favorite. note that these are not my rankings of the groups themselves lol, thatd be

vbs -> n25 -> mmj & l/n (they’re tied for second) -> wxs

(from least to most favorite)

#5 - MORE MORE JUMP!

ohhh my sweet girls, my precious girls, what did they Do to you.

the blue looks So bad on them. it clashes with minori and airi and feels too samey with shizu and haru. i like their shoes, tho, and i like how airi keeps her trend of her outfit straying just a little bit from the norm.

these outfits just feel so boring and lifeless, compared to their og ones that had a lot more personality and a lot more charm. i dont think the dresses themselves are ugly, in fact i find them quite pretty, but i dont think they suit the girls very well.

also what the fuck is miku wearing lmao (i like her hairstyle tho)

i like all the girls hair accessories tho they’re cute

i hate ranking them last because i love mmj so much but yeah im very disappointed and i honestly prefer their canon outfits that they wear while performing not in the sekai (the ones that their fans helped design in the metamo re:born event that i forgot the name of)

#4 - Leo/need

firstly i wanna say im so happy that honami gets to be pictured with her instrument like the others, and i really like how they positioned saki’s keyboard

i dont hate these designs!! i quite like them actually. they seem more unified and professional, which fits because leo/need is SIGNED with an AGENCY now oh yeah im so proud of them

im sad that ichikas wearing her tie now rip ichikas tie around her wrist you will be missed by me and me only

i really like their new outfits!! the girls look and feel older. im not really vibing with the shade of gray used tho, i wish their uniforms were black or white or a different shade of gray. i also love the pins and buttons on mikus jacket (i actually prefer the shade of gray on the jacket why couldnt the leoneeders be dressed in that shade)

#3 - Wonderlands x Showtime

#ruiturnaround #FREETSUKASAFROMTHEFLAG

mizuki POPPED OFF with these designs (assuming they made them again)

i really love wondershos new look, i just like the other two groups better. nene’s in particular is my favorite (but im biased). i love how professional they look, these new outfits really display this new step that the kids are taking into the world of theatre

so proud for rui for comjng out as nb can he turn around now my artist friends are crying

i adore all of these designs they’re so cute and fun and i really love the new vibe for wondersho as of recently. it seems like colorpale and the fandom are taking them so much more seriously

#2 - Nightcord at 25:00

KANADE HAS BEEN FREED FROM THE CHAIR (but now miku has it. lol.)

guys. guys the - the symbolism. their dresses progress from pure black to gray showing how they’re slowly healing and bettering themselves and miku’s hair is begining to regain its green and the kids have different flowers that have symbolism that other people know way bettee then mine but MAFUYU’S IVY MOTIF AND ENAS NARCISSUS MOTIF ARE BACK BABY real missed chance to give kanade carnations tho. i dont have much to say but WOW i love the new look for the nightcords and i think they’re stunning. will accept zero hate for these guys they look great

also miku has shoes!!!! yes!!!!

#1 - Vivid BAD SQUAD

yeah, i was surprised too at how much i like the vbs designs

i like vbs, sure, but they’ve always been the group that has piqued my interest the least. and ive never been super keen on the designs of the characters

but these designs??? i really like them. a lot. it feels like the kids are really coming into their own, with kohane and toya finding their personal styles, akito refining his, and an paying homage to nagi in hers. they’re becoming the young adult creators and musicians that they’re striving to be. i can really see vbs’s growth in their new designs, and i hope that i can grow to really love them and their story : D

(also mikus design is kind of. all over the place. lmao but i kinda love it)

#always happy to share my thoughts on pjsk if you wanna send me asks #project sekai #leo/need #pjsk #more more jump #vivid bad squad #wonderlands x showtime #nightcord at 25:00 #i am NOT tagging all the characters

[bright-and-burning]

thank u for the tag @monacotrophywife this took. too long to get around to lol

15 questions !!

are you named after anyone? my govie name no but eve yes! it’s my great grandma’s. my dad’s family has a kind of idk policy where your first name is Yours but your middle name is from somebody else. so my siblings and cousins and i have Original Names (not original as in like mackayleigheey just original as in not somebody else’s already. bc believe me some of our names are BASIC) and our middle names are all from grandparents + further back.

when was the last time you cried? i’ve been on the verge of tears a LOOOOOT lately. and i shed like five tears last week. but like Really cried was like january 11th ish when i moved out. i’ve had this stuffed rabbit since i was ~2 and my parents bought a perfect duplicate like the second month id had it bc i was so attached that they were like. we can NOT lose it and not have a backup (despite this i called both the same name). so i packed up one rabbit to take with me to my first solo apartment as a Real Adult and left one in my childhood bedroom. and that fucked me up soooo bad lol like the idea of here’s kid eve and here’s adult eve diverging paths… anyways.

do you have kids? i fuckin better not

what sports do you play/have you played? soccer, taekwondo, dance (ballet and tap for ~10 years) if you count that, running, a little bit of figure skating but like bootleg (aka my dad teaching me or me teaching myself w second hand skates) uhhhh. i feel like im forgetting something. oh gymnastics when i was very small. they had a lot of like, free/reduced cost sports opportunities for poor kids in my city so i’ve done a lot of things lol. owned a lot of second/third/fourth hand sports equipment over the years. if you’re in america (i cannot guarantee this exists anywhere else) and you’re in need of expensive sports equipment for cheap (or you’re looking to donate old sports equipment!) find yourself a play it again sports they came THROUGH for me and my siblings as a bunch of athletic poor kids

do you use sarcasm? frequently irl. probs less so online bc i don’t feel like it carries very well lol

what is the first thing you notice about people? hair!!!!! but otherwise it varies a lot. my favorite way to interact w ppl for the first time is to find something to compliment them on so i’m usually scanning everything to find like, oh they’ve got cool hair, cool tattoos, funky shoes, a fun patterned scrunchie, whatever.

what is your eye color? i Technically have heterochromia. but mostly green, i just have one solid brown stripe across my left eye

scary movies or happy endings? i don’t like Most Horror in general (tho i do fuck with a psychological thriller or black comedy movie a la the menu or last night in soho) so i’m gonna say happy endings

any talents? is it rude to say lots. lol. painting is probably my most “surprising” one. i can also still passably tap dance despite it being nearly 10 years since i stepped foot in a real studio. speed reading is another one; for some novels (shoutout pratchett for writing the world’s most readable and engaging novels) i was averaging like 550 wpm

where were you born? los angeles, baby. city of angels. la la land. tinseltown. etc

what are your hobbies? i am very good at picking up new hobbies and very bad at sticking with them for very long (until i get reinvested for like three weeks before dropping again etc). right now probably baking is the big one? writing. i’m trying to get back into painting this week actually!! we’ll see if i succeed

do you have any pets? my apartment is unfortunately pet free :( but my family pets are WONDERFUL. i have a dog who is a pitbull-corgi-mutt (so literally picture a corgi butt, legs, and the floppy baby corgi ears, plus a fat pitbull body, skull, and smile), and an orange cat :)

how tall are you? 5’0 on a good day

favorite subject at school? MATH!!!!! god bless math everybody. i had optional math homework in high school and sometimes when i was really annoyed w my other work i would procrastinate by doing the optional math work lol

dream job? i mean if anyone wants to step up and be my patron so i can oil paint photorealistic fabric folds all day… no but uhh what i do rn is my “realistic” dream job. my unrealistic but still technically feasible dream job is sports analytics. and my totally infeasible and impossible dream job is Art.

i’m gonna be honest i am so deeply behind on this that i think everyone has done it already. but if you haven’t and you’d like to, please consider yourself tagged <3

#tag game #not to say that art is an infeasible career #just that i like art and data equally and have not had like basically Any training in art #so obviously i chose the thing i liked the same amount (data/math/cs) that i could turn into a career significantly more easily

[hollywoodsargeant]

okay so I know like you said the jersey thing has been talked abt alot but am about to talk about it more bc I am SO confused. as a very nonmerican. WHAT the hell is the jersey and what the hell is the jacket. do you maybe have pictures🥲🥲🥲🥲 bc I tried searching but a bunch of different stuff came up and Im so confused. 💀

oh i don't mind talking about the jersey thing!! i was more surprised bc i didn't realize how much people would want to talk about it lol. but not complaining i love to speak. and it is definitely a moment... anyways i will try and find a reference image

idk here's some guys playing football. a jersey like that. and even green too i'm pretty sure i didn't explicity say it until the most recent chapter but their school's colors have always been green and white in my head. so the home jersey is green and the away jersey (the one oscar/mia would be wearing at a home game) is white. not that the color is really all that important but. that's what it is. in My brain

and bc they're clearly sized to fit the guys when they have their pads on they're kinda loose so i would always see the players wear them over a hoodie or something when they wore the jerseys to school on fridays. if you wear it with nothing under it you are a freak sorry man... but then that would also translate to the girls who wore them in the stands. i presume most often worn over a hoodie that also belonged to their boyfriend but you can wear it over ur own hoodie... clearly logan isn't. because he is a freak

but the main deal with the jersey. i guess. is. for every high school (and college too i assume) sport the players would be given two jerseys, one for home games and one for away games (different colors bc you might play a team that has the same colors as you, usually the away jersey is like the more neutral color if there is one, eg white out of green and white), and bc they only have to wear the one while they're playing they'd give the other one to their partner so they could match them in the stands. Wear My Number, Baby. i actually have worn my friend's hockey jersey before now that i think about it

and as for the jacket probably something like good old archie andrews. except green (and white). but a varsity football jacket nontheless. and in my head they have the players' names/last names embroidered on the sleeve which is probably a byproduct of Hey i was in the marching band and my championship jacket had my name on the sleeve but surely that can also be a thing in football. SURELY

but it's the same sort of deal in the possessiveness sake like wearing ur boyfriend's varsity jacket is also kind of a Thing. it's less of a deal than the jersey probably even if high school football jerseys usually don't have the player's name on it, it's just their number. the backs of all the jerseys from my high school just said our mascot above the number idk if it's different in other places. and USUALLY the jackets wouldn't have numbers on it bc some guys' numbers would change between years like the numbers are distributed by size of the jersey (so 1 would usually end up on a smaller guy) and they get given their stuff at the start of the season. but guys WOULD put their number in their instagram bio/username. logan totally does that fyi

#ask #this is kind of a long winded answer i apologize #but this fic is quickly turning into me. yelling about high school football #i have some authority i went to a lot of hs football games #but also. hey man. idk #i hope this helps though! #boyish.miamis

[apollosarrows-world]

Part 3, I had to re blog my last part cos I forgot the tags lol 😂 this part Is form precys pov and so will the next one hope you like them

After nearly a year of weirdness Percy was looking forward to seeing. The best people In the world he's mom and little sister. They had him convinced that the best people had the rottenness luck . He's moms parents had died in a plane accident when she was only 5! She then moved in with an uncle that didn't really care about her.

She wanted to be a novelist so she worked though high school to get in to a college with a good creative writing program. She had even named ophelia after her favourite play by Shakespeare he couldn't remember which one he always found he's plays a little boring.

But then her uncle got cancer so she had to quit school to take care of him . After he died she was left with no money no family and no diploma . The only good brake she ever got was meeting are dad . I don't have any memory's of him just a warm glow and a Bear trace of a smile.

Ophelia probably doesn't even have that . And mom doesn't like to talk about him it always makes her sad . Ophelia used to ask about him but she stopped a two years ago for some reason. Maybe she didn't like to see to look on moms face wen she'd.

See they wasn't married she told us he was rich and important. So there relationship was a secret. Mom said he went on an important journey and never came back. Lost at sea my mom would say lost not dead lost at sea . The just the idea had made ophelia terrified of the ocean.

She would work odd jobs Took night class to get her high school diploma and raise me and my sister on her own. Still she never complained not even once but we weren't easy kids . Ophelia had gotten bullied and kicked out of school for well for what She would see .

Monsters as a kid it got her into a lot of tumble. But after she got kicked out of her last school I hardly seen her anymore. 8 times in 2 years. And she never mentioned them again . Which was good cos gabe ugliano always got really mad wen she did .

Gabe was are sep dad he was nice for the first 30 seconds we knew him then showed he’s colours as a world class jerk . Wen me and fee were young we used to call him smelly gabe . Im sorry but it’s the truth the guy The guy reeked like moldy garlic pizza wrapped in gym shorts.

Between the 3 of us, we made my mom's life pretty hard. The way Smelly Gabe treated her, the way he and I got along ... well, when I came home is a good example.

I walked into our little apartment, hoping my mom would be home I walked into our little apartment, hoping my mom would be home from work. Instead, Smelly Gabe was in the living room, playing poker with his buddies. The television blared ESPN. Chips and beer cans were strewn all over the carpet.

Hardly looking up, he said around his cigar, "So, you're home."

"Where's my mom?"

"Working,"

”And ophelia "

“How should I no”

he said. "You got any cash?"

That was it. No Welcome back. Good to see you. How has your life been the last six months?

Gabe had put on weight. He looked like a tuskless walrus in thrift-store clothes. He had about three hairs on his head, all combed over his bald scalp, as if that made him handsome or something.

He managed the Electronics Mega-Mart in Queens, but he stayed home most of the time. I don't know why he hadn't been fired long before. He just kept on collecting paychecks, spending the money on cigars that made me nauseous, and on beer, of course. Always beer.

Whenever I was home, he expected me to provide his gambling funds. He called that our "guy secret." Meaning, if I told my mom, he would punch my lights out. I tried to keep Ophelia form it as much as possible and she never mentioned anything about it. but some times I would wander if she was okay wen I left. He was always harder on her .

I don't have any cash," I told him. He raised a greasy eyebrow.

Gabe could sniff out money like a bloodhound, which was surprising, since his own smell should've covered up everything else.

"You took a taxi from the bus station," he said. Probably paid with a twenty. Got six, seven bucks in change. Somebody expects to live under this roof, he ought to carry his own weight. Am I right, Eddie?"

Eddie, the super of the apartment building, looked at me with a twinge of sympathy. "Come on, Gabe," he said. "The kid just got here."

"Am I right?" Gabe repeated.

Eddie scowled into his bowl of pretzels. The other two guys passed gas in harmony.

"Fine," I said. I dug a wad of dollars out of my pocket and threw the money on the table. "I hope you lose."

"Your report card came, brain boy!" he shouted after me. "I wouldn't act so snooty!"

I slammed the door to my room, which really wasn't my room. During school months, it was Gabe's "study." He didn't study anything in there except old car magazines, but he loved shoving my stuff in the closet, leaving his muddy boots on my windowsill, and doing his best to make the place smell like his nasty cologne and cigars and stale beer.

I dropped my suitcase on the bed. Home sweet home.

Gabe's smell was almost worse than the nightmares about Mrs. Dodds, or the sound of that old that old fruit lady's shears snipping the yarn.

But as soon as I thought that, my legs felt weak. I remembered Grover's look of panic-how he'd made me promise I wouldn't go home without him. A sudden chill rolled through me. I felt like someone- something-was looking for me right now, maybe pounding its way up the stairs, growing long, horrible talons.

Then I hear my door open I panic a second thinking gabe was going to come in. But as I look up I she Ophelia running up to the bed . Jumping on it causing me to jump a little as she tackles me in a big hug.

“Looks like someone missed me” I say hugging her back tightly .

“Not at all who told you that” she says sarcastically as she Berries her face in my chest.

For some reason this Took for ever lol 😂

#p: fantaken #percy jackson x reader #pls i just want a leo valdez in my life #pjo #piper mclean #percy jackson #jason grace #ethan nakamura #will solace #connor stoll #travis stoll #love story #leo valdez fluff #leo valdez #fangirls r misunderstood #fangirls #fanfic #fictional crushes #fandom #oc #heroes of olympus #original character #my ocs

[sga-owns-my-soul]

thanks @frostysfrenzy for the tag!!

Were you named after anybody? nope! my siblings both have their middles names after our grandparents but i’m not named after anyone

When was the last time you cried? uhh idk honestly i think a few days ago?

Do you have kids? no and i don’t want any. my brother has two girls and my friend has a kid and i love them but i am more than happy in the aunt role thanks

Do you use sarcasm a lot? it was tempting to respond to this with sarcasm 😂😂 yes i use sarcasm a lot i am a very sarcastic person and it’s a little problematic honestly

What sports did you play/have you played? when i was a tiny baby child i played soccer, and in grade 7 i did cheerleading which i loved and desperately want to get back into some day, even just casually

What’s the first thing you notice in somebody? idk probably their hair honestly

Eye colour? blue but they get really grey when i’m upset apparently (idk i don’t tend to look in mirrors when i’m crying)

Scary movies or happy endings? i do love some good angst or suspension but i’m a sucker for a happy ending (especially a happy ending following an angsty story that’s some good stuff)

Any special talents? does cat grooming count? i don’t wanna brag or boast so i won’t go too much into it (unless people want me to bc tbh i could probably make an essay about it) but i’m really good at what i do and a big part of it is bc i respect the cats and if they are telling me “no this needs to stop” i will always listen. cats are very dramatic and i know the difference between “i’m annoyed and this sucks” and “i am not okay with this situation and i’m warning you that you need to stop” and listening when they need you to makes SUCH a difference in the service. anyways i’m proud of the work that i do and i’m really passionate about it (and i’m kinda really good)

Where were you born? in a hospital! in the horrible province of alberta, canada! (i’m kidding it’s actually a beautiful province and there’s a lot to love our government just kinda sucks and a lot of people are really bigoted)

What are your hobbies? i watch a lot of tv (stargate mostly at the moment surprise surprise) and read/write fan fic (take a guess what) but i’ve been trying to pick up some more stuff that takes me away from screens. i started drawing, which im horrible at and i love. i started knitting, and as soon as i get the right needles im gonna make a temperature blanket. im also trying to take up swimming, dancing, and rock climbing to get into better shape! i love all 3 activities im just really bad at making myself be active so it’s a slow process lol

Do you have pets? yes!! currently just my orange gremlin, charlie (should i make a post about him i feel like he deserves a space on my blog idk lemme know if i should) and he owns my heart (even if he is a fuckin menace who ruins my life and never lets me sleep)

How tall are you? idk 5’2? 5’3? ish? somewhere around that range

Favourite subject in high school? theatre in general but specifically tech theatre. i took a theatre intensive class all 3 years of high school and it was 4 classes rolled into one and tech theatre was one of them. i ended up doing stage management in grade 11 kind of as a fluke and i fell in LOVE it was so much fun i miss it

Dream job? cat grooming 🥰🥰🥰 i love it so so much and i love that i get to do it for my career

this was so fun thanks again for the tag!! i’m gonna tag @the-mushroom-faerie @spurious @books-space-things @zababova-pomsta @colonelshepparrrrd and as always anyone else who wants to but hasn’t been tagged! ((no pressure to do this if you don’t want to!))

#this was fun thanks!! #i have way too many thoughts lol #no one cares stick #it’s fine i entertain myself #tag game #about me #personal rambles #not stargate

[insomniactalks]

sooo people (r*na’s) are starting to talk about this. Im getting a little worried, i mean there’s nothing to be worried about i know my pw will be engame but this still could mean something, right..:(

Meg Donnelly talked about HSMTMTS in a recent interview and she revealed that she had filmed a lot of scenes with Matt Cornett which means EJ and Val will have a friendship. "When we filmed High School Musical, most of our scenes were together so that was really cool. It was so easy and so comfortable and we actually got so much closer on the High School Musical set. It was really weird not seeing him in a blue wig, but nonetheless, it was great." (This part is from an anon but still addresses what you're asking about so I'm putting it t/g.)

Here's the article everyone's freaking out about LOL. I have quite a few asks in my inbox about this part Meg talks about, so I will try to answer them all today (some t/g to save time). First thing first, let's all take a nice, deep breath. Okay? Breathe in. Breathe out. Now, I don't think we need to worry all that much just yet. Didn't we all predict months ago there was a strong possibility EJ and Val could be childhood friends from camp? Maybe they’ve been attending Camp Shallow Lake since they were junior campers and have always been close friends. Does Meg’s quote here really surprise anyone? To me, it just (partly) confirms Val and EJ may share history/a friendship and they’ll use it as an opportunity to show EJ’s growth as a character from the last time he attended camp (when he food poisoned Emily so Nini would be the lead). Val was presumably there at camp when it happened. But EJ doesn’t operate the way he used to (during his selfish 1.0 days) and Val may very well call attention to that. If they are good friends, maybe Val will let the audience know that she sees a real change in him from last year. He’s not who he used to be. The EJ now is “a really good guy” (2.08) who tries to do the right thing (in the right ways this time!) Just b/c “most” of Meg’s and Matt’s scenes were t/g doesn’t inherently mean that’s the end of Portwell lmaooo. Meg also said a few weeks ago that she feels like ppl will “really like” her character, even tho Val will contribute to some drama this season. I don’t think she would make that claim if most of the audience was supposed to hate/dislike her. I’m not getting antagonistic vibes from Val given her character description, which implies she won’t be just another Lily. Tim also said the Wildcats would “come head-to-head and heart-to-heart with Shallow Lake campers Jet, Maddox, and Val," which very well could mean Gina misinterpreting EJ and Val’s relationship at first before she has an eventual heart-to-heart with her by season’s end. Please keep in mind this show spent 2 whole seasons building Gina and EJ up as individual characters first, then progressed their story t/g. It took them 2 seasons to even agree to go out on a date together. With S3′s timeline being only 2 weeks, I doubt Val will cause any lasting damage to Portwell. This is the first season that they’re dating and we, the audience, get to see EJ and Gina as boyfriend and girlfriend for the first time. It’s more likely Val will force EJ and Gina to confront any insecurities in their relationship during these 2 weeks than Val causing them to permanently break up. Plus, as far as we know, Meg will be guest starring only in S3. I don’t think we’ll see her character again for any future season(s) considering Val may be based in California, not Utah. I get the feeling once the trailer is released, Val’s part in the trailer may be deceptive in that it’ll look like she’ll cause bad drama for Portwell, but it could actually be the good kind of drama that will help strengthen them in the long run. TLDR: don’t stress over Meg and Matt sharing “most” scenes together in S3. I know Portwell have a tough season ahead of them, but who says they won’t continue on this journey together? Val might just help EJ realize just how much he cares about Gina and how different his relationship with her is from his previous relationships. We just won’t know until S3 starts airing.                        

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts speculation #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts s3 #hsmtmts val #meg donnelly #matt cornett #tim federle #ej caswell #gina porter #portwell #gina x ej #ej x gina #nini salazar roberts #thanks for the asks!

[deeeelightfuldee]

What made you happy in the last 24 hours? hearing from K. getting a new backpack. 

What was the last book you read? I never remember the names. im not sure why, it just never seems significant to me to pay attention to the names.

What was the most fun thing you did in the last 24 hours? laying on the grass yesterday staring at clouds with nephews and their friends and naming what shapes we saw.

Have you done anything adventurous lately? no, not really.

What was the last thing you regretted doing (or not doing)? not asking more questions when I should have  What was the last thing you felt confused about? Ohhhhhhhhhk this is weird and embarrassing but i thought it was weird that K is supposed to be looking at homes but it seems hes at work (surprise surprise). its a day off for him, or was supposed to be. and thats so creepy that im looking, im struggling with not talking. i guess he should probably turn off location lol. 

What was the most delicious food you ate in the last 24 hours? ummmm dinner last night was good

Do you like the way your hair looks right now? no. its up in a bun and i have a headband on. its “get business done” hair. lots of packing and such. 

Do you think it rains too much where you live? it doesn’t rain enough. i would love for it to rain REGULARLY. 

What color is your laptop? silver. frick i love this laptop. its breaking apart but i can’t get enough.

Is your computer slow? Is it having problems? its not slow at all. it’s very efficient and speedy. I don’t use it for any heavy programming at all. 

Do you worry a lot, or do you live carefree? I spend probably most of my time leaning towards carefree. 

Do you have a Bible that’s falling apart? i do :) good sign it gets use, right?

What did the last pair of earrings you wore look like? These little white hoops. like extremely small huggie hoops. 

What is the next fun thing you are planning to do? ummmmmmmm... idk. birthday plans are starting to form.

Do you suffer from chronic pain? i do

What was the last thing you did outside? pick up a package from amazon.

Do you need to clean your room? mildly, yes. its chaotic from packing prep

Have you ever read the Bible all the way through? yes

Do you collect mason jars? not at all. i don’t think i have one single one? 

What was the last thing you decorated? my new backpack.

What’s on your floor? a rug. fans. slippers.

What was the last piece of candy you ate? chocolate

Are you wearing shorts right now? yes i am. thats all we will be seeing here on this body for the next like 2.5 months lol

Who was your first best friend? probably nea and gwen

Who was/is your last or current best friend? my last one was K. idk i feel without one right now.

Do you have a best friend currently? no

Are you lonely? yeah in many ways 

Have you spent most of your life lonely? i spend a lot of my time feeling alone not lonely. but lately kinda lonely. 

Did you answer your phone in the last 24 hours? uhhhhhhh no. lol woops.

What’s your favorite magazine to read? im not sure. magazines are so fun to flip thru maybe ill flip thru some on the plane tomorrow.

What color is the sky right now? I assume blue but i close my shades in the summer to try and keep the heat out.

Do you like the name Skye? eh

Do you want to have kids? I really would and im worried about it.

When was the last time you ate taffy? probably a couple years.

Name three toppings you like on a salad. bacon. egg. green onion

Do you like pineapple? i doooo

Would you rather visit Asia or Europe? europe

Do you know anyone who travels all the time? yes

Do you think it’s selfish to travel all the time, when most people can’t? no, i dont care what you do. 

Would you ever consider studying abroad? I almost did for a while. but the money was the concern. What was the last thing you ate? chocolate. i am so hungry.

Are you happy with your life right now? half of it is so great but the other half is really, really, rough.

What color was your first phone? silver

Do you remember your high school locker combination? I didnt have a combination because i didnt have a locker because i was homeschooled

If you’re a youtuber, list three companies you’d like to sponsor you. im not a youtuber. i would like the meal kit company, old navy, and dyson to sponsor me lol

Do you miss someone? yes. a lot.

If applicable, how long did it take you to grieve the loss of your best friend? im no where near the end of that. its bugging me big time and theres nothing at all i can do but try and just suck it up.

Do you wear flip-flops? oh yeah, regularly

Which do you like better: cacti, palm trees, or maple trees? maple first and then palm trees.

What type of tree do you see most of where you live? ooo lets see. oak, ash, willow, etc.

Have you ever seen fireflies? last night in fact.

Can you see the moon from your bedroom window? not right now, but ask me tonight. 

[smileymoth]

Self harm tw

Im not gona do anything rn bc im going home tomorrow and the ones i made last week havent even healed properly but i swear to god one day im going to slice up my wrists just to experience what it looks and feels like because its always been a fucked up fantasy of mine because ive been mentally ill since i was 10 and even without the internet i wouldve lost it some other way. Sometimes i think about going too deep and having to get stitcjes. But if it happened it would be on accident. I woildnt do it on purpose bc im a coward.

I remember in 5th grade we were on a school trip and i lost my mind bc of prohably overstimulation lbr and i started to badly grate away at my wrist witj a plastic knife and that was so cringe i remember feeling cringe immediately since i calmed down and its so embarrassing that i have these thoughts in the first place since youre not supposed to. The next morning i woke up and my dad noticed ky scratched arm and he made a joke about it. It didnt feel too good. Ive never cut too much. I remember in 6tj grade i would cut a small piece of skin off my wrist with scissors and i stkll have a scar from it and it would burn dry to air exposure and id be kinda disturbed bc there was a hole in my skin (go figure) but its so small now. All my sh scars have mostly faded. Ive never done too much because im scared to do too much and go too deep but by god i want to. But i dont want the scars. I dont want my mom to see. I dont want people to see. I just want the feeling it gives. Even if you dont do too much rhe pressure release or adrenaline calmdown after feels so nice and uoi feel so good for like 5 minhtes before you regret what you did. Like its not even a big problem to me lbr i just do a couple to get away iwth saying my cat attacked me and thats why theyre always crooked or i "scratched myself against a screw at school lol" idk if my mom ever really believed me in the first place. Its always awkward when she asks bc i pretend i didnt notjce i have them. And while i dont do it a lot and often ive never cut myself more tjan in the past 2 years. Did my dads death trigger this. I dont know. And i feel like its getting worse slowly. And im just letting it happen because i stopped caring i guess. I dont know. I guess thats why i starved myself in high school bc it was "invisible" and not noticable l. I dont know. I feel so patjetic that i even think about it so often that i do. Like im 22 i should be getting a job and a partner not thinking of which spot on my wrist is most optimal to draw blood with a fucking dirty ass boxcutter that i sprayed a-sept on so if my mom notices it would be least suspicious.

God i cant keep up i cant keep up with life at all im not built for this life it feels like. Im so overwhelmed all the time and i feel disgusting and patjetic and annoying. I dont really care about the things i should i just pretend i care mostly. Thats an autism trait right. Lack of empathy. I feel empathy but sometimes it feels tjat im empathetic just because its right to ne, not tjat i actuallt care. Youd be surprised how little things i acrually care about. Im a little internet attentionwhore who cant kill herself nc her mom and besties would be sad. Im not fucking special for any of this im just pathetic and burnt out and dead on the inside. Im never going to get better am i. Im never going to be what i want to be. Whats the fucking point right. Whats the point of complaining if im not even going to do anything. i wont cut myself open like i want to because its useless and dangerous and doesnt fix anything anyway and i cant kill myself either so ill just complain om tumblr instead and describe in detail how ive cut myself before bc thats entertaining. I feel like im writing a deviantart vent journal

#moth post #tw self harm #tw suicide #im fucking spiraling rn dont mjnd me

[kyaruun]

QIAN THE KISSER lmaooo my ultimae attack is just plopping a heart shape pillow onto everyone that does 99% of total HP damage... i am uncreative these days lilikags only exists because my first oc ever evolved into the sister of kageyama tobio from hq.. which i was obsessed with when i entered this site. nazu-yume turned into nazukisser one day and i do not regret my only ever URL change for a blog that didn't completely change its purpose. riddle-lovehearts was cute on my end. i just think it was cute. but sakunyas is so so so cute its so you very smart indeed

oh these are exams administered not by the school itself but uh. by a company. who charges like 90 dollars per exam. that you statistically will probably not pass. and everyone buys into it because at least taking the course shows you try hard. which helps you get into a good university. better if you scored a 4 or 5, which then again you need to pay to report to Each School You Apply To

when will the collegeboard (this company) get competition that knocks it off its fucking high horse

yeah im taking calc ab which is like. calc 1? and calc bc is calc 1 and 2 in the same amt of time? maybe its bcs all the smart kids go into calc bc is prob why the pass rate is good

oh yeah uh, the grading goes like ... this. they have very strict guidelines on how to grade. so for frq (free response question) if like any of x, x, or x are true, score whatever number it tells you to. if the response gets past those and if any of x x or x are true, score a 6 or smth. and whether the response reached that, depends on the ap graders, who are stuck into this huge place in like idk minnesota and they just grade all day. all day. like they have a quota of like 200 or 300 exams to go through and grade. for mcq its either right or wrong the computer can grade that they prob just scan it all in the scantron

for language yeah it depends on the teacher and how they prepare you for the test over the years you learn the language idk if you did the STAMP test or whatever but i got like one of the top scores in the class for speaking, a 5 5 6 7 (reading, writing, listening, speaking) so technically i have a good chance at ap japanese exam but am i going to sit through sensei's class for another year? hell the fuck no.

i have no idea where they got that, because i was like "tf is happening" this entire year. so like i don't know. but i passed.

ANYWAYS waaaaa ive been taking a break so its really hard for me to accept that i am hardworking even though a lot of people say so? maybe its because like every time i slack i get scolded by someone at home LOL but ive been resting the last 6 days so yeah (spring break)

thankyouuuu if i gibe up all my hobbies i really wont have anything left for me so i have to just. idk find some way to enjoy at least one of them and stick with it till i find something that brings me a lot of joy again 👍🏻someday

anyways sorry this ended up being Extremely Long i can go off about the collegeboard forever. they sent me a text yesterday saying that ap exams are coming up.

jesus christ i'm not surprised you're stressed it sounds so insane. feels like the more you read about it the more braincells you lose ;; i won't complain about the spanish system every agai-- well no i will because it sucks ass but you get the point ;;;

having at least one hobby you can go to to disconnect from responsabilities it's pretty much a need tbh writing is fun. drawing. having an insane brainrot over a cute bunch of pixels <3 anything works as long as it makes your life a bit easier. sometimes even silly things like talking to someone, finding a new game etc

#i know being social helps some people! #i'm still. working around HOW to be social #i'd love to learn how to talk to people more often TT

[trapangeles]

Tap'N with Singer - Italian Prada Mulada

Tell us about your story and how you got to where you are?

- I’m a 97 baby. I left home when I was able to actually leave the state legally. But I’ve been in the streets since 16. I wanted something that everyone else said was impossible to chase. A career in music. So that’s how I ended up out here in LA, chasing my dreams, chasing for a solution. 

What has been your biggest obstacle in your journey as an artist?

My biggest obstacle I would have to say — getting overwhelmed when it’s time to do a music video. Creating can be a lot of work, but I love it. 

 What lessons have you learned?

Not everyone wants you to win, but the ones that do — those are the ones you pay attention to. 

Nobody will take you seriously if you don’t take yourself seriously. 

Tell us about your music; how would you describe your sound?

My sound is very different from a lot of sounds. It can do just about anything when it comes to creating. I don’t consider myself a rapper but if I have to I will. Lol. Singing is my preference, especially when the beat is dancing with my voice. 

What other artists would you compare yourself to?

I don’t think I compare to others only because my sound is different but I have gotten “Doja Cat” which who I love so much. 

If you could work with any artists, who would you choose?

Doja Cat, Nicki Minaj, Rubi Rose, Drake, The Weeknd, DJ Khaled 

What sets you apart from other artists?

My drive, & intuitive insight on how I see my whole career forming is a very different feeling I’ve never felt before. I’m so into my craft, it gives me goosebumps. 

What should we know about your work?

You should know, it’s authentic. Tenacious. Persistent. 

What are your plans for the future?

My plans is to get signed to a record label that knows my worth. I want to get my foot in doors people said I wouldn’t when I told them I would. BET, Grammys. I want my son to see that mommy did that shit. 

What motivates you, or keeps you going?

My son. The struggle I’ve been thru to get my here is what keeps me going.

Tell us something that might surprise people about you.

I did take Theatre in high school. 

How do you define success?

Success to me is getting everything your wrote down in your goals. No matter how long or short it took I think that’s success in itself. Getting goals accomplished to reach the high goal is success to me. Wealth. Health. 

Tell us about any projects or music you have coming out

I do have a few projects I am working on. A script. I guess you can say I want to get my feet more into my acting side as well. The song is already out it’s called “Adios” #2 song on my apple profile. I hope y’all ready for this video, it’s up for an exciting turn at the end. 

What do you want people to know about you? Anything else you want mentioned?

I love who loves me. I love all my fans, everyone that was supported me since I started in 2018 “I said do you wanna ride with meee” times , and continued to support me when I got out of prison. My new fans and followers I appreciate you all so much, you guys have made me so much stronger over the past year. Im definitely not in the same position I was in last year. Never give up on anything you want you to do, not anybody else YOU! If YOU wanna do it, do that shit respectfully. 

How can people find you and contact you?

@italianpradamuladaofficial 

@italianprada2.0

@pradamuladamerch

All on instagram !

#Louisville #Kentucky #Italian Prada Mulada #R&B #304 #Sex Worker #Kewchie

[foxstens]

once again having an existential crisis about sexual/romantic attraction

there’s a lot to talk about but rn im kind of questioning the crushes ive had. i’ve explained them before, one was in kindergarten and i rmr nothing about it, one was sometime in high school and lasted like 2 seconds, there really wasn’t much to it, and one has been going on since 5th grade. but now im suddenly wondering if they were even actually what we understand as crushes

google says a crush is ‘a brief but intense infatuation for someone‘ which kinda fits sorta maybe, but people on reddit explain it in a very... romantic way i guess, according to them you want to be around that person, you want to be liked by them, you have an active desire to date them or to just take things further. and im. well. that does not fit. i mean it might have with 2/3 crushes since i don’t remember the actual feeling itself

but with the third crush i do remember the feeling because it never fucking disappeared. like i’ve known this guy since i was 10, the last time i saw him face to face was like 4 years ago, but i still have him on facebook, we still wish each other happy birthday every year, and he still regularly appears in my dreams. and i always get the same feeling in those dreams - the feeling of being curious about this person, of wanting to talk to him and spend time with him and his family because when i met them in the past they always had interesting things to say and they were always nice and warm and friendly and as an only child maybe i was a bit jealous of his close relationship with his sisters.

and. that’s it. that’s all it’s ever been. maybe that feeling was friendship or at least a desire for friendship because i’ve never actually had irl friends and what i just described does not fucking look like what we think of when we use the word ‘crush’. 

why am i so hung up on this, you ask? because i identify with the word aromantic so strongly, it feels more right than my actual fucking name but. i can’t be aromantic if i’ve had three whole crushes, right. lol. im probably just being stupid, but thinking about all of this is interesting. 

and i still don’t understand the concept of romantic or sexual attraction. i guess i can sort of fathom the idea of romantic attraction, like you look at someone and you get the feeling that you want to be more than their friend, though it still feels foreign to me, definitely not something i’ve experienced, let alone with a stranger

but the idea of sexual attraction feels positively alien. maybe people just suck at explaining it or something, but having an actual physical response to just seeing someone, and having sexual thoughts and desires when looking at a person??? i’m sorry but what. does this genuinely actually happen to real people in real life

when i see an attractive person my brain just kind of stops and i just stare and mumble if i have to speak, then i might think about their face for a bit afterwards, trying to recall what i liked about it, and that’s it. very rarely, i might find someone’s aura and confidence attractive, and that’s when i’ll really stare but even then my thoughts are just: i wonder what their life is like, i wonder what it’s like to be them, i wonder what it’s like to be around them regularly when they have this aura. you know??? i guess this might be what google describes as aesthetic attraction, maybe.

so yea i guess this proves that i’m definitely somewhere on the aroace spectrum. i mean i knew this, i have known this for years. but i feel more confident about it, now that i’ve thought more deeply about the ‘crushes’ i’ve had and how they fit.

also hopefully one day i’m not gonna be so surprised when i get reminded that some people see and experience the world completely differently. d a n g.

#my posts #my rambles #long post #read more #ugh some days im like 'fuck labels im just queer' #other days im like 'if i dont find the right label right now i will die' #why the fuck #first world problems :(